The Talk Show

00:00:00 ◼   ► Should we just stare into the corner? Should we all come around?

00:00:02 ◼   ► No, no. We're going now. I feel like we've broken the ice. I'm here. We're in San Francisco.

00:00:06 ◼   ► We're out here for the Macworld/iWorld.

00:00:09 ◼   ► The ultimate iFan event.

00:00:11 ◼   ► The ultimate iFan event. And I'm joined here on this episode by my friends Paul Kvassas

00:00:16 ◼   ► from Rogue Amoeba and Scott Simpson from the internet.

00:00:21 ◼   ► That's a way better—yeah. That's way better than my intro.

00:00:25 ◼   ► And so I feel like the elephant in the room of this thing

00:00:28 ◼   ► is that Macworld Expo, I still call it Macworld.

00:00:31 ◼   ► - Yeah, it's just Macworld, that's fine.

00:00:32 ◼   ► - It's weird and it's getting weirder.

00:00:34 ◼   ► - I feel like you need to get into Macworld,

00:00:39 ◼   ► to get onto the show floor,

00:00:41 ◼   ► you need a really complicated iPad case or a limp.

00:00:45 ◼   ► Like one of the two things.

00:00:46 ◼   ► - You cracked that joke yesterday on like a text message.

00:00:49 ◼   ► And then I was upstairs like on the third floor

00:00:51 ◼   ► and then I noticed it really are a lot of limps.

00:00:54 ◼   ► There's a lot of people at this conference

00:00:57 ◼   ► with leg injuries of some sort.

00:00:59 ◼   ► - Another way of saying that might be that

00:01:04 ◼   ► it seems that the overall demographic,

00:01:07 ◼   ► the overall average age appears to be a little higher

00:01:10 ◼   ► than it's been in the past.

00:01:10 ◼   ► I don't know, maybe I just always had a filter on

00:01:14 ◼   ► because every other year I've worked for Apple

00:01:18 ◼   ► and have been up here for something or whatever,

00:01:20 ◼   ► but now as a person who gives zero craps,

00:01:24 ◼   ► I'm sorry to interrupt. Also, can we swear or do we not swear?

00:01:27 ◼   ► Yeah, you can let him fly.

00:01:28 ◼   ► Okay. As a person who gives zero craps.

00:01:32 ◼   ► I think it skews older. I don't know that I think it's older this year, but Macworld

00:01:36 ◼   ► in general has always skewed. It's like the mugs and, you know, it's an older generation

00:01:42 ◼   ► that comes to these things, just in general, I think.

00:01:45 ◼   ► I thought you were going to say mugs and something that rhymes with mugs, like mugs and uggs.

00:01:50 ◼   ► No, like the Mac user group, you know.

00:01:52 ◼   ► Oh, I don't know.

00:01:53 ◼   ► You worked at Apple.

00:01:54 ◼   ► Yeah, but I don't know what that stuff is.

00:01:55 ◼   ► Yeah, and the user group thing, it's so old though.

00:02:00 ◼   ► It's too old? I'm dating myself here? I'm the youngest one in the room.

00:02:04 ◼   ► And I don't mean it, you know what, there's probably a lot of people who listen to this show who are still members, active members of a mug.

00:02:10 ◼   ► But, you know, I think then it's just, you know, you probably just have friends who just still get together and drink or whatever, I don't know.

00:02:18 ◼   ► But it used to be that you had to join a Mac user group to find somebody else to talk about

00:02:23 ◼   ► this stuff with because there were only like...

00:02:25 ◼   ► The 10 of you in that whole town.

00:02:27 ◼   ► Right, who had a Macintosh computer because in 1988 there was no reason for anybody to

00:02:31 ◼   ► have a computer.

00:02:32 ◼   ► Like before the internet, normal people had no reason to own a computer.

00:02:36 ◼   ► And so is that, so a lot of the folks who come to a Mac world, they come probably from

00:02:39 ◼   ► that culture.

00:02:40 ◼   ► Are they meeting up with their pals from other mugs, do you think?

00:02:43 ◼   ► Or they just, that's how they got into it and that's why they're still here?

00:02:47 ◼   ► I think some of them come every year and so they probably see some of the same people.

00:02:52 ◼   ► But I think it's something where why would young people come to this?

00:02:56 ◼   ► I think that's really the question is what is the draw for young people?

00:02:59 ◼   ► And they're certainly trying to get – they had Ashton Kutcher on there for his Steve

00:03:03 ◼   ► Jobs movie, but they had him and Josh Gad as like one of the keynote speeches and they

00:03:10 ◼   ► had Will.I.Am yesterday as well.

00:03:12 ◼   ► So it's certainly they're trying to pull in a younger demographic.

00:03:14 ◼   ► But younger people, you know, you can get this stuff on the web. You can find it plenty

00:03:20 ◼   ► of places. You don't necessarily have to come to Macworld to get information the way

00:03:22 ◼   ► that you used to.

00:03:23 ◼   ► So, I did just to, as a, you know, maybe it's the exception that proves the rule, but I

00:03:28 ◼   ► was on a panel this afternoon up in the conference thing, and then when it was over, some people

00:03:33 ◼   ► who read the website or listen to the show came up and introduced themselves, including

00:03:36 ◼   ► a young man, a high school student named Matthew, and he was very effusive, says he likes my

00:03:42 ◼   ► I was thrilled that somebody who's younger than me actually reads my site. I'm worried

00:03:46 ◼   ► to death that I've, you know...

00:03:47 ◼   ► - That you skew old as well?

00:03:48 ◼   ► - Yeah, totally.

00:03:49 ◼   ► - I've noticed your Bieber news going up as in some sort of attempt.

00:03:54 ◼   ► - And then I asked him, but then I thought, "Oh, hell, it's Friday." I was like, "How

00:03:58 ◼   ► are you here?" And he goes, "Oh, my dad called me out sick and took me here."

00:04:01 ◼   ► - Nice.

00:04:02 ◼   ► - And I was like, "Now, that's a great dad. You got a great dad."

00:04:04 ◼   ► - That's a good dad there, yeah. But it's open tomorrow. He could have been here on...

00:04:07 ◼   ► if you wanted to be at your panel.

00:04:09 ◼   ► I don't know that that's why he came and I certainly wasn't going to ask. I don't know.

00:04:14 ◼   ► But I don't know. It's actually cooler though if your dad is willing to call you out of

00:04:17 ◼   ► school sick and take you to Macworld. And he was very enthusiastic about it. Really

00:04:22 ◼   ► seemed excited about the show floor and some of the stuff he saw. So I don't know. I guess

00:04:28 ◼   ► there's one kid who's young and seemed to really enjoy it.

00:04:32 ◼   ► Yeah. Well, maybe some of it. I mean, I've enjoyed the couple of shows that I've got

00:04:35 ◼   ► either the podcast tapings and things like that have been nice and interesting, and that

00:04:41 ◼   ► seems vital and interesting still.

00:04:43 ◼   ► So it's like two different things.

00:04:46 ◼   ► Every year I always make this thing, but there's this conference where there's panels and presentations

00:04:52 ◼   ► and talks and stuff, and then there's the trade show, the expo, whatever you want to

00:04:57 ◼   ► call it.

00:04:58 ◼   ► And I feel like now it is never more separate, because now they used to have like the Macworld

00:05:04 ◼   ► stage where Macworld Magazine and that's that whole confusion where there's Macworld

00:05:07 ◼   ► the Magazine and Macworld the conference in there.

00:05:10 ◼   ► There's also Macworld the Lady, Macworld the Chocolate, Macworld the Bathtub. There's

00:05:14 ◼   ► so many Macworlds, it's so confusing.

00:05:15 ◼   ► Right. And some of them capitalize the W. Some of them don't. And they all get very

00:05:20 ◼   ► mad.

00:05:21 ◼   ► Which, however you screw it up.

00:05:22 ◼   ► Yeah, I flew into Macworld International once. It was supposed to be in Nevada, New Hampshire.

00:05:27 ◼   ► Wrong. The W was tall and not tiny.

00:05:31 ◼   ► But I did speak to somebody today, like I was on the show floor a little bit, and I

00:05:35 ◼   ► was talking to somebody, and I, you know, I'm not going to say who, but I knew them,

00:05:38 ◼   ► and, you know, and I said, "Just tell me the honest truth. Do you think it's, how do you

00:05:40 ◼   ► think it's doing?" And he was like, "Eh, so-so." But he thought that year over year that it

00:05:46 ◼   ► really has made a difference that that Macworld stage isn't there anymore, because people

00:05:51 ◼   ► would come through, you had to go through the expo to get to the stage.

00:05:55 ◼   ► Right. And this is the first year they moved that stage outside of the expo hall.

00:05:59 ◼   ► Right. And so it actually makes the actual presentations on that stage way better, because

00:06:04 ◼   ► it used to be like this acoustic nightmare where nobody could hear anything. And you

00:06:09 ◼   ► get up there and you're doing a panel and you're 30 seconds into it and three people

00:06:13 ◼   ► are shouting, "I can't hear you!" And then they…

00:06:16 ◼   ► Well, and half the audience was asleep because they were just there looking for a place to

00:06:19 ◼   ► sit down.

00:06:21 ◼   ► That was also very true. That's no exaggeration. Every time I've ever spoken at Macworld,

00:06:26 ◼   ► there are like older gentlemen sleeping in chairs.

00:06:29 ◼   ► Yeah, like maybe there's a nose pick going on, there's an ear hair trim.

00:06:34 ◼   ► And it's, you know, it's never to me high pressure public speaking.

00:06:38 ◼   ► Panels are easier than doing talks and, you know, you just have to be clever for 30 seconds

00:06:42 ◼   ► here and there.

00:06:43 ◼   ► But it is, no matter how relaxed you are, it is very unsettling to see somebody sleeping

00:06:49 ◼   ► in your audience.

00:06:51 ◼   ► So this is better because you got to climb a set of stairs to get there in the first

00:06:55 ◼   ► place.

00:06:56 ◼   ► Yeah.

00:06:57 ◼   ► But did you guys notice, did you guys walk to floor? There is, though, a lot of seating.

00:07:02 ◼   ► Right.

00:07:03 ◼   ► It seems like they maybe didn't sell out the entire show floor, and so they put in

00:07:08 ◼   ► some...

00:07:09 ◼   ► Some seating?

00:07:10 ◼   ► Some couches and stuff.

00:07:11 ◼   ► I feel like the floor was pretty full. I think compared to last year or the year before,

00:07:15 ◼   ► I feel it's pretty similar. I mean, I don't know what the numbers are, but I definitely

00:07:19 ◼   ► did notice some benches in various areas, which it's probably a good thing. It makes

00:07:23 ◼   ► cruising the floor a little easier.

00:07:25 ◼   ► Paul, do you guys have a booth this year?

00:07:28 ◼   ► No, we've always done the even number of years.

00:07:31 ◼   ► So the odd number of years, 2013, I just get to come out here and screw around.

00:07:35 ◼   ► That's great.

00:07:36 ◼   ► I've always wondered, how do you measure the return on investment and do you feel like

00:07:43 ◼   ► you can effectively measure that given that so much of it presumably is kind of a branding

00:07:48 ◼   ► thing?

00:07:49 ◼   ► It seems like probably a difficult decision given some of the costs involved.

00:07:54 ◼   ► I mean, the simplest thing we do to try and measure a little bit of the return is just

00:07:59 ◼   ► hand out a coupon of some sort, and we can track that coupon.

00:08:02 ◼   ► But in general, no, it's not something where you're going to—even if you're selling

00:08:06 ◼   ► on the show floor, I guess that would be the easiest way.

00:08:08 ◼   ► If you're selling a hardware product especially, like the Cosmonaut guys are there, the Aloclip

00:08:12 ◼   ► guys are there.

00:08:13 ◼   ► Oh, nice.

00:08:14 ◼   ► And if they're selling a physical product and they sell, you know, a thousand units

00:08:16 ◼   ► and it's 50 bucks each and it costs them 40 grand to be there, then they just made

00:08:20 ◼   ► 10 grand and you can see we made money on this.

00:08:23 ◼   ► But yeah, certainly for us, it's not—branding is—you're not wrong to use the word branding,

00:08:27 ◼   ► but it's not something where we're like Coke just trying to get our name out there.

00:08:30 ◼   ► But it's—you know, somebody hears about us and six months later they realize they

00:08:34 ◼   ► need it.

00:08:35 ◼   ► And they say, "Oh, right.

00:08:36 ◼   ► I heard about something like that when I was at Macworld.

00:08:38 ◼   ► Let me look it up."

00:08:39 ◼   ► And you know, we have no way of tracking that sale.

00:08:40 ◼   ► That sale's not going to come back through our coupon or through any other system.

00:08:43 ◼   ► It's just hopefully we'll get that sale eventually.

00:08:45 ◼   ► But I think there's a lot of intangibles to exhibiting where just having the face-to-face

00:08:50 ◼   ► interaction with customers is super valuable and just things that—it's not just related

00:08:56 ◼   ► to sales.

00:08:57 ◼   ► That's a good point.

00:08:58 ◼   ► You guys have stuck to—I don't know if it's completely accurate, but every other

00:09:02 ◼   ► year?

00:09:03 ◼   ► Is that like your official—

00:09:04 ◼   ► Yeah.

00:09:05 ◼   ► It's 2004, '06, '08, '10, and '12.

00:09:06 ◼   ► And that's always been your strategy?

00:09:07 ◼   ► It sort of happened organically.

00:09:08 ◼   ► It just happened then.

00:09:09 ◼   ► Yeah.

00:09:10 ◼   ► We skipped '05.

00:09:11 ◼   ► We did '06.

00:09:12 ◼   ► And maybe at '08, we were like, "All right.

00:09:15 ◼   ► Let's just maybe do the even number of years," because it's cheaper and it's a whole

00:09:19 ◼   ► lot of work and especially for—we're a 10-person company. It's not—when—I

00:09:23 ◼   ► don't know, HP has a huge booth, but they've got 10,000 employees around the world. 20,000

00:09:28 ◼   ► employees, they send 20 people here. It's not a big deal to them. For us, it's pretty

00:09:31 ◼   ► much almost the whole company is there and we're shut down for several days. So it's

00:09:35 ◼   ► a much bigger endeavor for us to undertake.

00:09:38 ◼   ► I saw the HP booth. It seems like they're—most places, they go t-shirt. Everybody wears like

00:09:45 ◼   ► to come into the HP went with like a blue Oxford shirt. So they all sort of look like

00:09:51 ◼   ► they worked at Blockbuster.

00:09:52 ◼   ► Tim Cynova Wait, a polo or a button down?

00:09:54 ◼   ► Tim Cynova No, like a button down Oxford, like a light

00:09:57 ◼   ► blue. I mean, I actually, I'm not putting that shirt down. I actually have light blue

00:10:01 ◼   ► Oxford shirts.

00:10:02 ◼   ► Tim Cynova He's wearing one right now.

00:10:03 ◼   ► Tim Cynova Yeah, I'm sure. It's gray, but it gave it

00:10:07 ◼   ► like a Blockbuster. I don't know. Maybe I'm just dating myself by remembering Blockbuster.

00:10:10 ◼   ► Tim Cynova Yeah, I was going to say, what's a Blockbuster?

00:10:12 ◼   ► The thing, you know, you guys have nice polos that work well and you want to have some,

00:10:18 ◼   ► you want people to be dressed the same way.

00:10:20 ◼   ► Yeah, you need a little bit of uniform so people know these are the people I should

00:10:23 ◼   ► talk to.

00:10:24 ◼   ► Right, right. The thing that I feel like is there are certain cliches of the show floor.

00:10:30 ◼   ► The one that gets me the most that I dislike the most is the lab coat. Like, we're in

00:10:37 ◼   ► science right now and you should that's why you should buy our backup system or

00:10:42 ◼   ► whatever it is you know well I think does drive savers do that I think yeah

00:10:45 ◼   ► well they have like clean rooms where they're actually probably using like

00:10:48 ◼   ► that's like that the show floor is not well you're I get where they're going

00:10:51 ◼   ► you're right I get it right yeah and a variant on the scientist is the doctor

00:10:56 ◼   ► the doc yeah and maybe that's even what they do because maybe drive saver I

00:11:00 ◼   ► mean it's like a first aid sort of thing yeah but either way it's the same coat

00:11:04 ◼   ► it's right. You know, right, right. You just you buy a lab coat and that's your uniform.

00:11:07 ◼   ► Right. Whether you're a doctor or not. You ever have a doctor that didn't wear a lab

00:11:11 ◼   ► coat? No, you don't trust it. You can't trust that. They don't have the 40 bucks to buy

00:11:16 ◼   ► a lab coat. It's a great point. You need their uniform is a big part of the authority. It's

00:11:21 ◼   ► the making you wait and the lab coat. That's it. It is the making you wait. Oh, God, I

00:11:27 ◼   ► love a doctor's office. Here's I wonder about this all the time. And you guys are the perfect

00:11:33 ◼   ► two people to ask this question of.

00:11:35 ◼   ► So when you go to a doctor's office,

00:11:37 ◼   ► obviously you have to wait for 10 to 45 minutes.

00:11:40 ◼   ► How much rifling through the drawers do you do?

00:11:43 ◼   ► 'Cause I, the dam broke for me one day.

00:11:48 ◼   ► I was like, well fuck this.

00:11:50 ◼   ► I got, I got, you know,

00:11:52 ◼   ► here are the two things that can happen, right?

00:11:54 ◼   ► Either I go through the drawers

00:11:56 ◼   ► and the doctor catches me going through the drawers,

00:11:58 ◼   ► which means they come in early.

00:11:59 ◼   ► Like this is sort of a Murphy's Law thing.

00:12:01 ◼   ► - And they didn't knock?

00:12:01 ◼   ► - Yeah, they just come in.

00:12:03 ◼   ► Yeah, no, they got a knock.

00:12:04 ◼   ► Yeah, they got a knock. They got a knock. So that will give me time and that will hopefully,

00:12:08 ◼   ► you know, hasten their arrival. But if not, you know, I got lifetime of tongue depressors.

00:12:14 ◼   ► Yeah, absolutely. You walk out of there with a backpack with cotton swabs.

00:12:17 ◼   ► Yeah, I got swabs up the, you know, where swabs go.

00:12:20 ◼   ► I rifle. I'll admit it. I rifle. I'm with you.

00:12:23 ◼   ► You're a rifler.

00:12:24 ◼   ► Yeah, absolutely.

00:12:25 ◼   ► Oh, I would have guessed both of you to be cold back and play, you know, that dumb word

00:12:29 ◼   ► game.

00:12:30 ◼   ► Yeah, that's exactly. I just sit there like that.

00:12:31 ◼   ► You're on the phone?

00:12:32 ◼   ► Although the last couple of doctors I've had to go to…

00:12:35 ◼   ► I've got no reception, I feel like.

00:12:37 ◼   ► They got lead-lined walls or something.

00:12:38 ◼   ► Oh, I've had that problem where the doctors I've gone to have…

00:12:42 ◼   ► They're in like Faraday cages.

00:12:44 ◼   ► I get that mysterious circle next to the word Verizon.

00:12:47 ◼   ► It's a circle.

00:12:48 ◼   ► You know what it means, but your phone doesn't work.

00:12:49 ◼   ► It means you're fucked.

00:12:50 ◼   ► It's like, "We're not even going to try."

00:12:52 ◼   ► It's like the phone is giving up trying to get an internet connection.

00:12:55 ◼   ► No, but when I had the thing with the finger last year and I had to go to a specialist

00:12:59 ◼   ► to have some surgery to repair a ligament that I severed. But with this doctor, and

00:13:07 ◼   ► he's a great doctor.

00:13:08 ◼   ► Tim Cynova John just entered a four-second fugue state.

00:13:10 ◼   ► John

00:13:10 ◼   ► Well, just thinking about it makes me very sad about the terrible injury.

00:13:15 ◼   ► But you're all right now.

00:13:16 ◼   ► I'm all right.

00:13:17 ◼   ► And the guy was a great surgeon and you guys can vouch that my finger, which I could move

00:13:21 ◼   ► at all—a year ago at Macworld, couldn't move at all and now it's great.

00:13:24 ◼   ► Whenever I met him though, it was a very nice waiting room, sort of almost like a—

00:13:29 ◼   ► Like a spa kind of thing?

00:13:30 ◼   ► Yeah, like an old hotel.

00:13:31 ◼   ► In fact, I think it maybe used to be an old hotel.

00:13:34 ◼   ► But then they would call me and I'd go into a little room and—

00:13:37 ◼   ► Was this a doctor?

00:13:38 ◼   ► Was this an actual doctor?

00:13:40 ◼   ► - That's a hand and arm specialist.

00:13:42 ◼   ► - Okay, alright.

00:13:42 ◼   ► - Hands, shoulders, and elbows or something.

00:13:44 ◼   ► - That is not a type of doctor.

00:13:45 ◼   ► - Head, shoulders, knees, and toes doctor, come on.

00:13:48 ◼   ► - A very nice waiting room.

00:13:49 ◼   ► It was a very nice waiting room.

00:13:51 ◼   ► It's just like I said, like an old hotel lobby.

00:13:54 ◼   ► And then when they would call me,

00:13:56 ◼   ► I'd go into a very small room, totally white, very small,

00:14:00 ◼   ► and there'd be a table, and I would come in.

00:14:02 ◼   ► There are two doors to get in the room.

00:14:04 ◼   ► One from this waiting room.

00:14:06 ◼   ► You just go right in, there's no hallway.

00:14:08 ◼   ► You go right from the waiting room into a room, and they were all—these rooms were

00:14:12 ◼   ► all around the perimeter.

00:14:13 ◼   ► So the waiting room is central, and there's eight doors.

00:14:18 ◼   ► And they would say, "You go to door six."

00:14:20 ◼   ► And I would go into door six, and there was nothing to rifle through.

00:14:23 ◼   ► It was just a white room with a table.

00:14:25 ◼   ► Did they lead you somewhere else after this?

00:14:26 ◼   ► Nope.

00:14:27 ◼   ► Did you just put your hand on the table?

00:14:28 ◼   ► Then the doctor would come in through the other door.

00:14:31 ◼   ► Wow.

00:14:32 ◼   ► He had a central chamber that could get to all of them?

00:14:34 ◼   ► Like a hallway that went around through them.

00:14:36 ◼   ► Okay.

00:14:37 ◼   ► And I almost now I'm thinking maybe it's like an anti-rifling.

00:14:41 ◼   ► It's possible.

00:14:42 ◼   ► Maybe that's a problem.

00:14:43 ◼   ► I mean, I always felt a real implicit social pressure, obviously, not to go through.

00:14:48 ◼   ► And I don't steal things.

00:14:49 ◼   ► So you give it a little bit of time.

00:14:50 ◼   ► And, you know, if they take more than about 30, 45 seconds, then you're allowed to do

00:14:53 ◼   ► it.

00:14:54 ◼   ► Right, then it's their fault.

00:14:55 ◼   ► And then last week, and just last week is when you bring it up, I was at the eye doctor.

00:15:00 ◼   ► And I have a family history of glaucoma and stuff.

00:15:05 ◼   ► So I go to a real, what do you call them?

00:15:07 ◼   ► Ophthalmologist. - Ophthalmologist.

00:15:09 ◼   ► - And they do these tests on the pressure

00:15:12 ◼   ► of my eyeballs and stuff.

00:15:13 ◼   ► So I don't get to just go in and read the eye chart

00:15:16 ◼   ► and get a new prescription and go out.

00:15:18 ◼   ► But there were like three or four different tests

00:15:19 ◼   ► I had to have.

00:15:20 ◼   ► And in between each test, they'd make me wait 15 minutes.

00:15:24 ◼   ► But every time, they would take me back out

00:15:26 ◼   ► to the waiting room.

00:15:27 ◼   ► They wouldn't let me sit in the room,

00:15:29 ◼   ► even though they were doing the tests in the same room.

00:15:31 ◼   ► And now, in hindsight, I'm convinced it's anti-rifling.

00:15:34 ◼   ► Interesting, yeah. That makes sense.

00:15:37 ◼   ► It sounds like something in your chart indicates you were a past rifler.

00:15:40 ◼   ► You've got a red star in the operating corner.

00:15:43 ◼   ► No, because the hand place, everybody had to do it. Everybody went into these little,

00:15:48 ◼   ► like, I don't know what you want to call them. They're almost like, they weren't even like

00:15:51 ◼   ► offices.

00:15:52 ◼   ► Sounds like an interrogation room, really.

00:15:53 ◼   ► Yeah, it sounds like a stall. Sounds like veal.

00:15:55 ◼   ► No, and it is, an interrogation room is what I thought. It seemed like something like the

00:16:00 ◼   ► cops come in and talk to you across the table.

00:16:02 ◼   ► Right, and they come in through a different door.

00:16:04 ◼   ► Yeah.

00:16:05 ◼   ► Yeah.

00:16:06 ◼   ► Was there a very large mirror along one wall?

00:16:08 ◼   ► No, but it really – it seemed like it would have been appropriate.

00:16:12 ◼   ► Right.

00:16:13 ◼   ► Right.

00:16:14 ◼   ► Interesting.

00:16:15 ◼   ► And that's where the chief is in there.

00:16:16 ◼   ► Right.

00:16:17 ◼   ► Right.

00:16:18 ◼   ► Tell me how guilty I am.

00:16:19 ◼   ► Do you guys ever eat at Backworld Expo?

00:16:22 ◼   ► Like, when you're – like, now, a normal person like us who just walks in and sees

00:16:27 ◼   ► what's new, then we leave to go.

00:16:28 ◼   ► But, like, when – Paul, like, when you're –

00:16:30 ◼   ► Oh, when we're exhibiting?

00:16:31 ◼   ► Do you get the food?

00:16:33 ◼   ► Well, there's like something in the back of the expo hall that's atrocious and exorbitantly

00:16:43 ◼   ► expensive because you're trapped there. So, I'm sure I've eaten something there.

00:16:48 ◼   ► I don't remember it. I probably blacked it out, but I wouldn't recommend it. There's

00:16:52 ◼   ► plenty of good places right outside the expo hall if you can get there.

00:16:55 ◼   ► Boy, I tell you… May I? May I? I'm not a political person and I don't have strong

00:17:02 ◼   ► feelings about unions. I feel like they're really good about certain things and not so

00:17:05 ◼   ► great about others. But as a person who's been involved with conferences more on the

00:17:10 ◼   ► book side, like in publishing, oh boy, just the nonsense of conferences and how, you know,

00:17:17 ◼   ► for the carpentry stuff, you have to talk to Bob.

00:17:19 ◼   ► Oh, you're talking to half a dozen different people.

00:17:21 ◼   ► And you absolutely can't talk to Randy, who doesn't talk to Susan, and the concessions

00:17:25 ◼   ► are all a part of it. And it's a nightmare. It's expensive. Yuck.

00:17:30 ◼   ► - Yeah, and I feel like, you know,

00:17:32 ◼   ► and it's, you gotta talk to Joe, the internet guy,

00:17:35 ◼   ► to have an internet connection at your booth,

00:17:36 ◼   ► but he doesn't do wifi.

00:17:38 ◼   ► - Yeah, and also, you can't bring your own trash can.

00:17:40 ◼   ► If you don't want a trash can,

00:17:41 ◼   ► you have to get the trash can guy,

00:17:42 ◼   ► and then if you want a trash can liner,

00:17:44 ◼   ► you gotta talk to a totally separate guy

00:17:46 ◼   ► who's in Delaware right now.

00:17:48 ◼   ► - All of that is a hassle, though, for the exhibitors,

00:17:51 ◼   ► right, where, you know, you can't have a trash can,

00:17:54 ◼   ► you can't set up your own internet,

00:17:55 ◼   ► you can't get the cable underneath the carpet,

00:17:59 ◼   ► you've got to have the carpet guy come and put the cable in.

00:18:01 ◼   ► - There's two separate guys, yeah.

00:18:03 ◼   ► - The food thing, though, is where the unionized

00:18:07 ◼   ► restrictions and this is all we can offer,

00:18:09 ◼   ► it really affects everybody.

00:18:11 ◼   ► Because-- - If you're at the show

00:18:12 ◼   ► and you don't want to leave the show, yeah.

00:18:13 ◼   ► - Right, and somehow, as the decades go on,

00:18:16 ◼   ► it spiraled out of control, and now it's like prison food.

00:18:20 ◼   ► (laughing)

00:18:22 ◼   ► 'Cause I noticed today when I was going through,

00:18:24 ◼   ► I did notice, and I was going through what I believe

00:18:27 ◼   ► would be prime lunchtime.

00:18:28 ◼   ► know, it was like sometime around one, and there was nobody getting food. I mean, and

00:18:34 ◼   ► you know, and there was a lot of people in this expo, you know, it seemed pretty busy,

00:18:38 ◼   ► I think that's our, you know, the consensus, and there was nobody back there. It's just

00:18:41 ◼   ► like these lunch ladies, you know, ready to serve people and nobody in line. And it really

00:18:46 ◼   ► kind of smelled bad.

00:18:49 ◼   ► Nobody pays for prison food.

00:18:50 ◼   ► Right.

00:18:51 ◼   ► And here they're trying to get you to do just that.

00:18:52 ◼   ► Yeah, it's really, I mean, it's the – convention food is on the same trajectory as food that

00:19:01 ◼   ► was available in the Soviet Union in the 80s. Like, it's centrally planned. They have

00:19:05 ◼   ► no incentive to make good stuff.

00:19:07 ◼   ► It's part newspaper.

00:19:08 ◼   ► It's part newspaper. There are, you know, ladies with rugged waistlines and no, you

00:19:17 ◼   ► know, no smiles. You have a rugged waistline?

00:19:19 ◼   ► No, see, I don't—I think you're unfairly criticizing the lunch ladies. I think they're

00:19:24 ◼   ► fine. I think it's just the food.

00:19:25 ◼   ► Oh, yeah? All right, fair enough. I mean—

00:19:26 ◼   ► I think they're just working.

00:19:27 ◼   ► Yeah.

00:19:28 ◼   ► I think it's really the food.

00:19:29 ◼   ► Yeah, all right.

00:19:30 ◼   ► But they definitely have no incentive to make it any good because—

00:19:32 ◼   ► Yeah, and I feel like in a hypothetical world where you could do this and you could reset

00:19:37 ◼   ► the food contracts at Moscone back to zero and just say, "Look, all of these rules,

00:19:44 ◼   ► whatever—whoever's already got these concessions, get rid of them. We're going to start all

00:19:47 ◼   ► all over from scratch. It's probably not gonna be great food.

00:19:50 ◼   ► - It'll be like a ballpark, right?

00:19:52 ◼   ► - Yeah.

00:19:52 ◼   ► - It'll probably be like a ballpark.

00:19:53 ◼   ► Like you'll get some garlic fries

00:19:54 ◼   ► and some clam baker dips and stuff.

00:19:58 ◼   ► - But yeah, I think that's a good analogy.

00:20:00 ◼   ► You know, the hot dog you get at the ballpark is not great.

00:20:04 ◼   ► But it's a hot dog and it's good and it's at least hot.

00:20:08 ◼   ► - Yeah, you have options. You have options.

00:20:10 ◼   ► What would you?

00:20:11 ◼   ► Oh guys, I think about this so much.

00:20:13 ◼   ► You know, you're too smart, guys.

00:20:16 ◼   ► I would, it would be so exciting to go into business with you too. You know, just in like

00:20:23 ◼   ► to build a restaurant with both of you would I think be delightful. So if you're ever

00:20:28 ◼   ► in the market to do a food concession, maybe a food truck, we could do a truck. Wouldn't

00:20:32 ◼   ► take too much time. I have all the time in the world. I have no job.

00:20:36 ◼   ► Do you have the truck?

00:20:37 ◼   ► I have no truck.

00:20:39 ◼   ► You're out.

00:20:40 ◼   ► Yeah. What about food truck minus the truck, just the food? Call it a food. It's a food.

00:20:46 ◼   ► you just bring it places? I guess so. Food bike? Food trucks, it seems like that's

00:20:51 ◼   ► a new hipster thing. I noticed that there's a food truck now in the Mint Plaza where Blue

00:21:01 ◼   ► Bottle is. There's a food truck there. They used to be super low-end. It was hard-working

00:21:09 ◼   ► immigrants. I often think about the people who work in a food truck or a cart even. Some

00:21:17 ◼   ► of them don't even have a truck in Philadelphia. It's just a cart. You're standing in a

00:21:22 ◼   ► little—you've got maybe two square feet of space, no seat. You're standing all day.

00:21:27 ◼   ► David Buehler Yep. Cooking food, greasing.

00:21:30 ◼   ► Dave: Right. Often, they have a remarkable variety of food available for something that

00:21:35 ◼   ► making in a little cart. But now I feel like it's jumped and now it's gone to like…

00:21:40 ◼   ► It's gourmet. It's…

00:21:41 ◼   ► Yeah.

00:21:42 ◼   ► Yeah, absolutely. Well, I think they started out… Probably the most popular food trucks

00:21:45 ◼   ► were, you know, construction sites, things like that, where they're just driving there,

00:21:48 ◼   ► they're going to grill you up some burgers and that's it. And the first place I saw

00:21:52 ◼   ► one though was using Twitter. That was their big deal was they were some like sort of little

00:21:56 ◼   ► upscale burger thing, but it was like, "We're going to be at this street…"

00:21:59 ◼   ► Right. Twitter made it easy.

00:22:01 ◼   ► Right. It was a way to find where the truck was going to be.

00:22:04 ◼   ► Right, right.

00:22:05 ◼   ► And then, I don't know if that helped exploded or what, but that's where I first saw them

00:22:09 ◼   ► was using Twitter, using the internet to move around town and not need to get a standalone

00:22:16 ◼   ► restaurant and the permits that that requires.

00:22:18 ◼   ► Gee whiz, I can't remember the name of it now, but there's a cluster of food trucks

00:22:22 ◼   ► in San Francisco.

00:22:23 ◼   ► What are they called?

00:22:24 ◼   ► They're named, I'll think of it later, but it's a bunch and they all kind of rove

00:22:27 ◼   ► to one place and then they all set up there.

00:22:30 ◼   ► Together?

00:22:31 ◼   ► Yeah.

00:22:32 ◼   ► a festival of fun and they're coming down

00:22:34 ◼   ► out of San Francisco and yeah, it's great for food options.

00:22:39 ◼   ► As long as you're on board with funny puns.

00:22:44 ◼   ► - Oh yeah, gotta have a pun.

00:22:45 ◼   ► - One of the most popular food trucks here,

00:22:47 ◼   ► I think still is Chairman Bao.

00:22:48 ◼   ► You have to have definitely some sort of surprising fusion.

00:22:55 ◼   ► Like fish meets sand.

00:22:58 ◼   ► Like sand fish.

00:23:00 ◼   ► or, you know, banh mi, like creme brulee in a banh mi.

00:23:04 ◼   ► - When I was at Drexel University,

00:23:08 ◼   ► Drexel had a, I don't know if they still do or not.

00:23:10 ◼   ► - Oh, did they have the Chinese food truck?

00:23:12 ◼   ► - No, they had, we had a whole street

00:23:15 ◼   ► right in the middle of campus, like a little side street,

00:23:17 ◼   ► where it was every day, all day, you know,

00:23:20 ◼   ► it was just from one end of the corner to the other,

00:23:23 ◼   ► all food cart, or trucks, trucks and carts.

00:23:25 ◼   ► And it was almost like a food court you could go to,

00:23:28 ◼   ► you could get anything, you know, there was one,

00:23:29 ◼   ► It was like an Italian family and they made good meatball sandwiches.

00:23:33 ◼   ► Was it near Penn though?

00:23:34 ◼   ► Was it near like…

00:23:35 ◼   ► No.

00:23:36 ◼   ► It was…

00:23:37 ◼   ► No, it wasn't that close.

00:23:38 ◼   ► Well, I remember one.

00:23:39 ◼   ► I was at Penn for a summer and they had a Chinese food truck and it was Y-U-K space

00:23:45 ◼   ► K-E-E apostrophe S. It was Yucky's Chinese Food, which was the worst possible name I

00:23:52 ◼   ► could think of.

00:23:53 ◼   ► So, you had complete variety though?

00:23:56 ◼   ► Well, not…

00:23:57 ◼   ► it was like, "Do you want a meatball sandwich or do you want a cheesesteak?" And everybody

00:24:01 ◼   ► had soft pretzels.

00:24:02 ◼   ► But you got to know the people though. And that was part of the thing. And I wish—I

00:24:07 ◼   ► was always curious about such things but never—I don't know. I wouldn't ask. Whereas now,

00:24:12 ◼   ► I would ask. And I'm curious like—because they always had the exact same spot. Like

00:24:17 ◼   ► they were—

00:24:18 ◼   ► Tim Cynova—Oh, they lined up the same way?

00:24:19 ◼   ► Justin Perdue—There might have been—I would say there were eight or nine trucks

00:24:21 ◼   ► and they were always in the same spots. Never, never, never ever changed. And I always—you

00:24:25 ◼   ► There's no—surely there's no legal right to have that.

00:24:29 ◼   ► Well, now that the cities are licensing where they can park and I know Boston has like—this

00:24:35 ◼   ► is food truck parking and I think maybe they agree within each other amongst themselves,

00:24:41 ◼   ► "You'll park here, I'll park here."

00:24:43 ◼   ► Also the local chambers of commerce tend to be against them because they compete directly

00:24:48 ◼   ► with existing businesses that pay things like rent and taxes to the neighborhood and I'm

00:24:53 ◼   ► that food trucks don't have to pay tax to the place in which they're parked. I really

00:24:57 ◼   ► don't know how that works.

00:24:58 ◼   ► But...

00:24:59 ◼   ► I don't think so.

00:25:00 ◼   ► They must have permits or something though. So...

00:25:01 ◼   ► Yeah, they must have... Yeah, that's true.

00:25:02 ◼   ► That's where you get your money from, I would think.

00:25:03 ◼   ► That's true. But I don't... I think those chambers of commerce tend to dislike the existence

00:25:08 ◼   ► of those food trucks because they'll be gone tomorrow and they'll just have stolen your,

00:25:12 ◼   ► you know...

00:25:13 ◼   ► Like gypsies.

00:25:14 ◼   ► ...25 lunches. Like gypsies.

00:25:15 ◼   ► Well, it does... Part of it, the fact that it's a business on wheels. If you think about

00:25:20 ◼   ► it...

00:25:21 ◼   ► It's very fly-by-night.

00:25:22 ◼   ► to it. But I remember when I first got to Drexel and first encountered them, and I just

00:25:25 ◼   ► thought, "Well, this is really weird having food that's made in a moving vehicle."

00:25:29 ◼   ► Right?

00:25:30 ◼   ► Right.

00:25:31 ◼   ► That they could, like, if something goes bad, if, you know…

00:25:34 ◼   ► If they kill some people with some food poisoning or something, they could just drive right

00:25:37 ◼   ► out of town.

00:25:38 ◼   ► Right. They're gone.

00:25:39 ◼   ► Here's the problem. Here's the problem. The problem is then it becomes a thing that

00:25:41 ◼   ► everybody gets super excited about. Like, I can only eat out of a truck because that's

00:25:45 ◼   ► just what we do now. Wait. Where did you get the steak? From a regular kitchen. That's

00:25:50 ◼   ► It's a terrible idea.

00:25:51 ◼   ► The place in San Francisco that I do recommend that it's on Facebook and Twitter, it's

00:25:56 ◼   ► called Off the Grid and it's just that roving band of food trucks that's delicious and

00:26:00 ◼   ► great.

00:26:01 ◼   ► And they're on Facebook and Twitter?

00:26:02 ◼   ► I think.

00:26:03 ◼   ► You tell me.

00:26:04 ◼   ► Well, no, but it's called Off the Grid?

00:26:05 ◼   ► I mean…

00:26:06 ◼   ► I think it's called Off the Grid.

00:26:07 ◼   ► All right.

00:26:08 ◼   ► I have to go to SF for something.

00:26:09 ◼   ► Yeah.

00:26:10 ◼   ► And the other thing, it's like random reminiscing, but there was a genius guy when I was at Drexel.

00:26:19 ◼   ► His name was, it's what we called him,

00:26:22 ◼   ► and it was the name of his truck, Taco Lou.

00:26:25 ◼   ► And--

00:26:27 ◼   ► - Now do you think he got the nickname before the truck?

00:26:29 ◼   ► - Well, I don't know, but it just,

00:26:31 ◼   ► the truck said Taco Lou's.

00:26:34 ◼   ► And like all the other trucks, he served lunch,

00:26:37 ◼   ► breakfast to lunch, daytime hours.

00:26:40 ◼   ► And then you could eat at three or four in the afternoon,

00:26:43 ◼   ► but they were starting to put stuff away.

00:26:44 ◼   ► Taco Lou's genius idea was,

00:26:47 ◼   ► He started parking his truck up by the fraternities on Friday and Saturday night.

00:26:54 ◼   ► All of a sudden, at midnight, he'd open back up.

00:27:00 ◼   ► And again, hardworking guy.

00:27:02 ◼   ► There's a guy who spent all day Friday serving people lunch tacos.

00:27:05 ◼   ► I guess maybe he went somewhere and took a nap and then started.

00:27:10 ◼   ► And the drunk taco line was just unbelievable.

00:27:14 ◼   ► I don't think I ever even got one because it was like nobody goes there. It's too

00:27:19 ◼   ► busy. It was crazy. We all thought like, "Well, Taco Lou is a genius." We thought

00:27:27 ◼   ► that he should jack the prices up.

00:27:31 ◼   ► At 2 a.m. or midnight.

00:27:32 ◼   ► Yeah. It's still like $20 tacos. But he didn't. He had the same prices he had during

00:27:36 ◼   ► the day.

00:27:37 ◼   ► He's a good man, Taco Lou.

00:27:39 ◼   ► Let's find him. Surely he's living in a palatial mansion today. Let's go find him and ask him.

00:27:47 ◼   ► Maybe we'll get an audience.

00:27:49 ◼   ► I'm just pouring myself some more bourbon. You guys didn't comment on how I elegantly took my sweater off.

00:27:54 ◼   ► Well I didn't know if we wanted to talk about your... I don't know what to call that.

00:27:58 ◼   ► I just call it Hootie and the Blowfish rhythm guitar player.

00:28:01 ◼   ► It looks like you could be at a ranch.

00:28:04 ◼   ► Super gay ranch.

00:28:06 ◼   ► - Scott, I like to roll my sleeves up.

00:28:09 ◼   ► Do you like the button on the elbow where you can--

00:28:13 ◼   ► - That's a great question, Jon.

00:28:14 ◼   ► That's a great question.

00:28:15 ◼   ► I do like an elbow button, but I often feel like

00:28:18 ◼   ► that mandates how far I'm supposed to take it up.

00:28:20 ◼   ► And you know what?

00:28:21 ◼   ► - Maybe you wanna show off the biceps.

00:28:22 ◼   ► - Yeah, you know what?

00:28:23 ◼   ► That's true, although to be fair, I have two arms,

00:28:27 ◼   ► but just they share a bicep.

00:28:29 ◼   ► - Maybe you wanna show off the bicep.

00:28:30 ◼   ► - Thank you.

00:28:31 ◼   ► They're innies.

00:28:33 ◼   ► Yeah, so there's three types of button-down shirts that you can roll up. There's the one

00:28:37 ◼   ► that doesn't have any sort of aid. There's ones that have a button.

00:28:41 ◼   ► Oh, a little bit above the cuff.

00:28:43 ◼   ► A little bit above the cuff. And then there's the ones that have a strap. You ever see that?

00:28:47 ◼   ► Sure, sure. Yeah, I own a couple of those.

00:28:50 ◼   ► I don't care for the ones with the strap.

00:28:51 ◼   ► You know, honestly, we should just say that no conversation about clothes should take

00:28:56 ◼   ► place in the presence of Paul Kefauzis.

00:28:58 ◼   ► Wow.

00:28:59 ◼   ► Well, and I say this with love, you're the master of the functional wardrobe.

00:29:06 ◼   ► Thank you.

00:29:07 ◼   ► All right.

00:29:08 ◼   ► We've had conversations about those crazy toe shoes.

00:29:11 ◼   ► We've had…

00:29:12 ◼   ► I run in those.

00:29:13 ◼   ► I don't wear those.

00:29:14 ◼   ► Let's be clear.

00:29:15 ◼   ► I saw some people at the show wearing those.

00:29:16 ◼   ► I'm not wearing those on a day-to-day basis.

00:29:18 ◼   ► Have you seen the formal ones?

00:29:20 ◼   ► Have you seen the leather ones that they make?

00:29:21 ◼   ► They make leather ones.

00:29:22 ◼   ► Do they really?

00:29:23 ◼   ► Yeah, that's not a joke.

00:29:24 ◼   ► Like to wear to prom?

00:29:25 ◼   ► Like to wear to dinner, you know, with your…

00:29:27 ◼   ► I don't know, you don't have a wife obviously if you're wearing those shoes.

00:29:31 ◼   ► By yourself, I don't know, on a date, I don't know.

00:29:33 ◼   ► But yeah, they have fancy leather ones.

00:29:36 ◼   ► But we've had conversation about the zip-off pants.

00:29:39 ◼   ► Functional?

00:29:40 ◼   ► Super functional.

00:29:41 ◼   ► So yeah, I say, you know, I think...

00:29:42 ◼   ► I've got button-down shirts.

00:29:44 ◼   ► I can rock a button-down shirt.

00:29:46 ◼   ► I've seen you dress up and you're very handsome when you dress up.

00:29:49 ◼   ► I just choose not to.

00:29:51 ◼   ► Fair enough.

00:29:53 ◼   ► I feel those, the shoes with the toes.

00:29:57 ◼   ► It was a clever idea. They must be very comfortable, I guess, for some people. Some people must

00:30:04 ◼   ► find them very comfortable. But it's one of those things that seemingly has very quickly

00:30:09 ◼   ► become a religion. And I think that's why they might be—I was not aware that they're

00:30:14 ◼   ► making dresser leather ones, but I believe that it's because the people who get into

00:30:18 ◼   ► it self-identify now as—

00:30:20 ◼   ► Tim Cynova, Jr. "Toeshoe people?"

00:30:21 ◼   ► Tim Cynova, Jr. "Toeshoe people?"

00:30:22 ◼   ► Tim Cynova, Jr. "Toeshoe people?"

00:30:23 ◼   ► Tim Cynova, Jr. "Toeshoe people?"

00:30:24 ◼   ► Tim Cynova, Jr. "Toeshoe people?"

00:30:25 ◼   ► Tim Cynova, Jr. "Toeshoe people?"

00:30:26 ◼   ► Tim Cynova, Jr. "Toeshoe people?"

00:30:27 ◼   ► sporting equipment.

00:30:28 ◼   ► I agree.

00:30:29 ◼   ► The same way you have bowling shoes.

00:30:30 ◼   ► Right.

00:30:31 ◼   ► And I'm wearing bowling shoes right now.

00:30:32 ◼   ► Exactly.

00:30:33 ◼   ► But, you know, if I see you in a gym with the five-finger shoes or whatever they're

00:30:36 ◼   ► called, okay, fine.

00:30:37 ◼   ► I'm not going to, you know, I'm not going to punch you in the nose.

00:30:41 ◼   ► But you know, if we're out at the steakhouse and you've got the patent leather five-finger

00:30:46 ◼   ► shoes, ugh.

00:30:47 ◼   ► Is it just my experience or do you guys find that the toe shoe people want to tell you

00:30:53 ◼   ► about their toe shoes?

00:30:54 ◼   ► - A lot of excitement in the TSC,

00:30:57 ◼   ► or the TOSU community, it's true.

00:30:59 ◼   ► - They want you to try them,

00:31:01 ◼   ► and they're not gonna take no for an answer.

00:31:03 ◼   ► - Well actually, I think about this a lot.

00:31:06 ◼   ► You know, I have certain things in my life

00:31:07 ◼   ► that I will proselytize, right?

00:31:10 ◼   ► A lot of people feel this way about Apple, of course.

00:31:14 ◼   ► I have, I think, well certainly the one thing

00:31:17 ◼   ► that I will talk up and down all day

00:31:20 ◼   ► is the Tempur-Pedic mattress.

00:31:22 ◼   ► love a Tempur-Pedic mattress.

00:31:24 ◼   ► Scott Benner 0 The talk show this week is sponsored by Tempur-Pedic.

00:31:27 ◼   ► David A.

00:31:37 ◼   ► the mattress, or I'll let you sleep in my bed for a night. And yes, I will have sex

00:31:41 ◼   ► with you. But that's basically—let's call that like a tip, right? Like, I'm changing

00:31:47 ◼   ► your life.

00:31:48 ◼   ► I have to admit, you've got me here, Scott, because I'm not—you really are a—

00:31:54 ◼   ► Yeah, that's true. I really am.

00:31:55 ◼   ► This is actually true. It's not just a bit.

00:31:56 ◼   ► It's looking at us like we're idiots for not having them.

00:31:59 ◼   ► No.

00:32:00 ◼   ► Right.

00:32:01 ◼   ► I want to know—this, to me, now we've finally found what this episode is about. Tell

00:32:05 ◼   ► me. I do.

00:32:06 ◼   ► - Right, no, tell me about it.

00:32:07 ◼   ► Is Tempur-Pedic a brand or?

00:32:09 ◼   ► - It's a brand and I think it's also the sort of the parent,

00:32:13 ◼   ► like the generic version is memory foam, right?

00:32:16 ◼   ► So it's instead of a spring,

00:32:18 ◼   ► you just sleep on a giant slab of memory foam.

00:32:21 ◼   ► And I would never have switched over

00:32:24 ◼   ► to this kind of mattress if I hadn't been,

00:32:26 ◼   ► my wife and I were house sitting for friends of ours.

00:32:30 ◼   ► - And you slept in their bed?

00:32:31 ◼   ► - And we slept in their bed.

00:32:32 ◼   ► - Oh, like you do.

00:32:33 ◼   ► We slept all over the, up and down the bed.

00:32:36 ◼   ► I don't know what that means.

00:32:38 ◼   ► We, so you lay down in it, and it's this very strange

00:32:43 ◼   ► sort of like--

00:32:45 ◼   ► - You sink a little bit.

00:32:46 ◼   ► - You sink a little, you make sort of an impression.

00:32:47 ◼   ► It doesn't push back, you push into it.

00:32:50 ◼   ► And I leaned back and I thought,

00:32:52 ◼   ► well this is a really strange.

00:32:53 ◼   ► (imitates

00:32:53 ◼   ► (snoring)

00:32:55 ◼   ► And then I woke up 10 hours later feeling wonderful.

00:33:00 ◼   ► And let me tell you another thing about it that's amazing.

00:33:03 ◼   ► As a person who, now my job involves going out at night

00:33:06 ◼   ► and then robbing people of their money

00:33:08 ◼   ► and then coming home late.

00:33:10 ◼   ► And so I will come home at 1 a.m.

00:33:13 ◼   ► and my wife will be long asleep.

00:33:14 ◼   ► The beauty of the Tempur-Pedic,

00:33:16 ◼   ► you've presumably seen that commercial

00:33:17 ◼   ► with the bowling ball and the glass of wine.

00:33:19 ◼   ► Do you know how handy that comes in?

00:33:22 ◼   ► when your spouse is already asleep and you're just trying to pass out bed next to you.

00:33:28 ◼   ► Yes, yes.

00:33:29 ◼   ► Now are you a Tempur-Pedic specific? Because I have a memory foam mattress, but it's not Tempur-Pedic.

00:33:34 ◼   ► Well, I don't know. I think is it 100% or is it…

00:33:37 ◼   ► No, it's not the pillow top. It's the whole thing.

00:33:40 ◼   ► I don't know. I don't know what the difference is or if there's…

00:33:43 ◼   ► I've certainly become a brand…

00:33:45 ◼   ► Okay, you're a loyalist.

00:33:46 ◼   ► - You're a loyalist.

00:33:47 ◼   ► - Loyalist only because the weird thing about beds

00:33:50 ◼   ► is how often do you sleep in other beds

00:33:52 ◼   ► except in a hotel and then you don't know what it is.

00:33:55 ◼   ► - And it's a big investment.

00:33:57 ◼   ► I mean, they're like--

00:33:58 ◼   ► - Yeah, it's like $1,200 or something.

00:34:01 ◼   ► - $1,200, $2,000, yeah.

00:34:02 ◼   ► - Yeah, and then I see that this is one of those things

00:34:04 ◼   ► where I, you know, I love to sleep.

00:34:07 ◼   ► God, I love to sleep.

00:34:08 ◼   ► - You gotta give it a shot, and I think there are even like,

00:34:10 ◼   ► I think there's even a way to like--

00:34:12 ◼   ► - I think they've got like a 30-day--

00:34:13 ◼   ► - Take it for a test drive kind of thing.

00:34:14 ◼   ► - Yeah, which is weird.

00:34:15 ◼   ► Oh, it's gross. I hope I didn't get a…

00:34:16 ◼   ► I think you'd get the used one.

00:34:18 ◼   ► I hope I didn't get… Or maybe like a thrice used one.

00:34:21 ◼   ► Right. Right. Like when your 30-day thing is over and you're like, "Well, it's

00:34:26 ◼   ► great. I'm in. I'm going to just buy it. I'm sold." And they're like, "Well,

00:34:29 ◼   ► we'll send you a new one."

00:34:30 ◼   ► Yeah. You got to send that one back for sterilizing.

00:34:32 ◼   ► Oh, yeah. You don't want to keep that one. That one is not the one you want to sleep

00:34:35 ◼   ► in for more than 30… We're actually legally not allowed to let you sleep in that for more

00:34:38 ◼   ► than 29 nights.

00:34:39 ◼   ► That's right. FDA mandated, right.

00:34:41 ◼   ► We have to show up. It's not a cost thing. We're not being cheap. It's just ringworm.

00:34:45 ◼   ► Now the problem I found with the mattress though is I lost some weight and the mattress

00:34:51 ◼   ► shapes itself to your body.

00:34:52 ◼   ► Oh, okay.

00:34:53 ◼   ► Interesting.

00:34:54 ◼   ► And so, if you lose a good amount of weight, you're just going to sink into that bed.

00:34:58 ◼   ► Interesting.

00:34:59 ◼   ► Yeah, I haven't had that problem.

00:35:00 ◼   ► I've been consistently gaining weight for 14 years.

00:35:03 ◼   ► So that's working for you then.

00:35:04 ◼   ► That's good.

00:35:05 ◼   ► That's good.

00:35:06 ◼   ► So it doesn't—see, now, you see, I assumed that once I woke up—

00:35:09 ◼   ► No, it springs back.

00:35:11 ◼   ► But it has some—

00:35:13 ◼   ► Well, that may actually be the difference between the Tempur-Pedic and other versions.

00:35:17 ◼   ► I have a lesser mattress.

00:35:18 ◼   ► I don't know. In all honesty, I don't know if they don't last as long. We flip ours

00:35:24 ◼   ► every six months or something. I really do. Like, again, that was the first thing I thought

00:35:30 ◼   ► about.

00:35:31 ◼   ► You're an evangelist.

00:35:32 ◼   ► People get excited about things. I get excited about the Tempur-Pedic mattress experience.

00:35:35 ◼   ► God, I wish I loved anything as much as you love the Tempur-Pedic mattress.

00:35:38 ◼   ► Right. No, no. If I knock on your door wearing a white button-down short-sleeve shirt and

00:35:42 ◼   ► a tie with my name tag on my –

00:35:44 ◼   ► And a lab coat.

00:35:45 ◼   ► Yeah, and a lab coat.

00:35:46 ◼   ► You're a sleep scientist.

00:35:47 ◼   ► I'm a sleep scientist. Then let me in and let me show you the glory of a mattress.

00:35:55 ◼   ► Do you like sleeping in a guest bedroom at somebody's house?

00:35:58 ◼   ► I'd rather pay for the hotel.

00:36:00 ◼   ► I'm a hotel guy.

00:36:02 ◼   ► Well, why? What's the problem?

00:36:04 ◼   ► Noises, odors.

00:36:07 ◼   ► Your noises, your odors, your odors are theirs.

00:36:09 ◼   ► Everybody's. I mean –

00:36:10 ◼   ► Yeah.

00:36:12 ◼   ► I think there's nothing nicer than coming to a friend's house for, let's say, a dinner

00:36:17 ◼   ► or just for a few hours and to have somebody open their home to you. It is a sign of friendship

00:36:24 ◼   ► and generosity. It's a way to get to know people and I think it's just great.

00:36:27 ◼   ► And the nicest thing you can do is to leave after a house.

00:36:30 ◼   ► Right. And to me, sleeping in their house is just way too intimate. There is nobody

00:36:34 ◼   ► -- I'm lucky that I like to sleep in my own house.

00:36:37 ◼   ► Well, I think we make a mistake when we measure sort of age or, what's the right word, phases

00:36:45 ◼   ► of our life with our ages, right? Because one of the big life changes is when you do

00:36:50 ◼   ► have both the financial means but also the impatience to switch over to not staying at

00:37:00 ◼   ► people's houses. Because what people do when they're 24 and they're traveling around is

00:37:03 ◼   ► they sleep on their friend's couch because they have to. And at a certain point you're

00:37:07 ◼   ► like, "I will just pay." Or it's like the same thing happens when you switch your luggage

00:37:13 ◼   ► from a backpack to a suitcase. You're like, "This is a life change and we should have

00:37:18 ◼   ► better linguistic indicators of our ages that make use of those transitions rather than

00:37:23 ◼   ► just a number." Because that is a specific one that if the three of us were like super

00:37:30 ◼   ► brand is staying at friends' houses, it would be strange because we're out of that phase

00:37:34 ◼   ► of life.

00:37:35 ◼   ► We're too old for that.

00:37:36 ◼   ► Yeah, there's nothing wrong with being younger and doing that, of course, because that's

00:37:40 ◼   ► how you do stupid things when you're younger.

00:37:42 ◼   ► You know, I think about it.

00:37:43 ◼   ► What I want is my own toilet.

00:37:45 ◼   ► That's really what it is.

00:37:46 ◼   ► It's huge.

00:37:47 ◼   ► I want a home toilet.

00:37:48 ◼   ► If I'm at your house, that's your toilet.

00:37:49 ◼   ► Yeah, although I would love to show you my toilet.

00:37:53 ◼   ► You've got some evangelizing to do by your toilet as well.

00:37:55 ◼   ► It's a Tempur-Pedic memory foam toilet.

00:37:58 ◼   ► It's waterless.

00:37:59 ◼   ► just the bed. That's how you make a Tempur-Peed waterbed. Now we are getting somewhere with

00:38:06 ◼   ► the show. It's usually so boring. When you're in a hotel, you could do anything

00:38:11 ◼   ► to the toilet. I mean, you could destroy the toilet. I mean, really. And the bed too, really.

00:38:19 ◼   ► And they are equipped to deal with it. You can take a two-hour shower. No consequences.

00:38:26 ◼   ► Exactly. And worst case scenario is you just leave a little bit more of a tip.

00:38:31 ◼   ► Right.

00:38:32 ◼   ► And you're out of it.

00:38:33 ◼   ► Right.

00:38:34 ◼   ► Guilt for conscious free.

00:38:35 ◼   ► Maybe a note.

00:38:36 ◼   ► Maybe a note.

00:38:37 ◼   ► Maybe a note.

00:38:38 ◼   ► So sorry.

00:38:39 ◼   ► Those are not shards of glass. You should use gloves either way.

00:38:43 ◼   ► I actually have in my – the bag that I travel with a pad, a notepad.

00:38:47 ◼   ► Of apology – pre-written apologies?

00:38:49 ◼   ► And it starts with so sorry. I don't have to write that. It's just – I just rip

00:38:53 ◼   ► it off and I don't even have to begin it. And then it's...

00:38:56 ◼   ► It's in sort of a fun 60s cursive font.

00:38:59 ◼   ► So sorry, I...

00:39:00 ◼   ► With your floor and your sheets.

00:39:01 ◼   ► Yeah, the carpet or whatever. Whatever the case is.

00:39:04 ◼   ► Oh! Okay, tell you, I got a good story.

00:39:06 ◼   ► Do you have checkboxes?

00:39:07 ◼   ► I got a good story.

00:39:08 ◼   ► Do you have checkboxes? You say, "So sorry, checkboxes about the carpet."

00:39:09 ◼   ► No, I should know. I think checkboxes...

00:39:10 ◼   ► Checkboxes.

00:39:11 ◼   ► Checkboxes. I should make them up with checkboxes.

00:39:12 ◼   ► Right. Get it printed up.

00:39:13 ◼   ► Yeah.

00:39:14 ◼   ► And you can just check off whatever happened.

00:39:15 ◼   ► That's a great idea. And I love, like, you know, the possibilities. Like, you could put

00:39:19 ◼   ► things on there that may never happen. Genocide. I don't know.

00:39:22 ◼   ► so sorry about the genocide.

00:39:23 ◼   ► Yeah, you never check it. Good to have.

00:39:25 ◼   ► It's good to have.

00:39:26 ◼   ► It's good to have in your back pocket.

00:39:27 ◼   ► All right, so you have a story?

00:39:28 ◼   ► I'm quoting Miss Leany.

00:39:29 ◼   ► Uh, yes.

00:39:30 ◼   ► Well, let's do, let me do the sponsor break, and then I'll know, we could jump right back

00:39:33 ◼   ► into it with your story. I want to thank our sponsor. We've got one big sponsor for the

00:39:37 ◼   ► show this week, and it's Squarespace. So our friends at Squarespace, they have a great

00:39:42 ◼   ► new product. It's the new version of Squarespace, and here's what it is. Everybody knows. To

00:39:47 ◼   ► To do it yourself, you make your own website with Squarespace.

00:39:50 ◼   ► You just sign up, you make your website.

00:39:53 ◼   ► Marco was on last week.

00:39:54 ◼   ► Marco Arment, 15 minutes, the guy wanted to have a new podcast.

00:39:59 ◼   ► Fifteen minutes later, he had a website for it at Squarespace.

00:40:02 ◼   ► So I, you know, to me, you guys are no Marco.

00:40:06 ◼   ► Well, I'm just saying.

00:40:08 ◼   ► He's right.

00:40:09 ◼   ► It was just like the greatest coincidence in the world.

00:40:12 ◼   ► I asked Marco to be on the show.

00:40:13 ◼   ► Oh, that he loved Squarespace.

00:40:14 ◼   ► The guy who built, engineered Tumblr goes to Squarespace to start a new website.

00:40:20 ◼   ► Also, when Marco does a thing, I trust Marco's decision and opinions about things.

00:40:26 ◼   ► So that's a big vote.

00:40:27 ◼   ► I proposed to his wife because I assumed that was the optimal wife you could get.

00:40:32 ◼   ► Great call.

00:40:33 ◼   ► Right, exactly.

00:40:34 ◼   ► So what do they have?

00:40:35 ◼   ► Everything on their platform is drag and drop.

00:40:37 ◼   ► You're not coding a website.

00:40:38 ◼   ► You're not programming it or something like that.

00:40:41 ◼   ► You sign up, you drag things, you just start -- it's all drag and drop.

00:40:46 ◼   ► You want to put a picture in, you drag it in from your desktop into the browser window.

00:40:49 ◼   ► That's it. You don't have to upload it. You don't have to learn SFTP, that sort of stuff.

00:40:55 ◼   ► Do they have templates? They've got an amazing number of templates.

00:40:57 ◼   ► Their templates are beautiful. You can customize everything in them.

00:41:01 ◼   ► If you like it -- everything about this template, but you want to change one thing, you can

00:41:03 ◼   ► change that one thing. If you're a designer, you want to design

00:41:07 ◼   ► the whole thing from scratch, you can do that, too.

00:41:09 ◼   ► They support, you know, use a template, design your own template, either way.

00:41:15 ◼   ► Everything they have, all of their stuff is responsive.

00:41:19 ◼   ► That's a fancy way of saying that when you load it on your iPhone, it's formatted for

00:41:23 ◼   ► the iPhone.

00:41:24 ◼   ► When you load it on your iPad, it's perfectly formatted for the iPad.

00:41:27 ◼   ► And when you load it on -- what are those things called?

00:41:30 ◼   ► >> I don't know.

00:41:31 ◼   ► A Nexus tablet.

00:41:32 ◼   ► A Surface table.

00:41:33 ◼   ► >> No, computers.

00:41:34 ◼   ► >> Ah, okay.

00:41:35 ◼   ► >> They're things we used to use before we had iPads.

00:41:36 ◼   ► Computers.

00:41:37 ◼   ► looks great on any browser. So what do they have? They've got an unlimited plan. That's

00:41:42 ◼   ► the best value. You get unlimited pages, unlimited galleries. You can create a blog. You can

00:41:48 ◼   ► create multiple blogs.

00:41:49 ◼   ► What's that going to run me? Do we know? It's a good price, whatever it is.

00:41:53 ◼   ► Yeah. You know what? I don't know what it is. But I'll tell you what. I do know. I don't

00:41:56 ◼   ► know what the price is. But I do know though that if you go there and you use the offer

00:42:02 ◼   ► code "THETALKSHOW2." T-H-E-T-A-L-K-S-H-O-W and then the digit 2.

00:42:11 ◼   ► Steve McLaughlin Numeral 2.

00:42:12 ◼   ► Dave

00:42:25 ◼   ► supporting the show. But don't use that one anymore. Use the talk show too. That way they

00:42:29 ◼   ► know that you…

00:42:30 ◼   ► That one's been canceled actually. I think that one's out.

00:42:32 ◼   ► Yeah, yeah.

00:42:33 ◼   ► Can't even use it.

00:42:34 ◼   ► Maybe that one they charge you more.

00:42:35 ◼   ► Yeah, right. They've upped the price if you do that.

00:42:36 ◼   ► They charge you more. But you get 10% off. You get a 10% discount. And that's, you know,

00:42:41 ◼   ► you just, you're coming out ahead of all the suckers who just sign up for regular Squarespace

00:42:45 ◼   ► without…

00:42:46 ◼   ► The non-listeners.

00:42:47 ◼   ► Without the talk show code. Proof that they at Squarespace listen to the show is the fact

00:42:52 ◼   ► that they included the "the" in the talk show, that it's not just talk show.

00:42:57 ◼   ► Scott Foundas (00;01;00) Talk show one.

00:42:58 ◼   ► Steve

00:43:02 ◼   ► Yeah.

00:43:08 ◼   ► Scott

00:43:18 ◼   ► Scott, you have a story.

00:43:19 ◼   ► - Yeah, I was also just thinking about--

00:43:21 ◼   ► - About apologizing to maids, I believe.

00:43:22 ◼   ► It's where we were going.

00:43:24 ◼   ► - I'll tell you.

00:43:25 ◼   ► I'll tell you what happened.

00:43:27 ◼   ► This happened when we were in,

00:43:29 ◼   ► staying in a hotel in Seattle.

00:43:33 ◼   ► Woke up one morning, my wife was just staring at me like,

00:43:35 ◼   ► "So, what are we gonna do?"

00:43:37 ◼   ► I was like, "What are you talking about?"

00:43:39 ◼   ► And she said, "You don't remember anything."

00:43:40 ◼   ► - Was there a body?

00:43:41 ◼   ► - No.

00:43:42 ◼   ► Well, she said, "Last night, you got up out of bed,

00:43:46 ◼   ► And then about three minutes later, I heard you knocking on the door.

00:43:50 ◼   ► And I opened the door and I said, "What are you doing?"

00:43:58 ◼   ► And you said to me, she said, you know, you said to me, "What are you doing?"

00:44:01 ◼   ► And I walked in.

00:44:02 ◼   ► You were real surly.

00:44:03 ◼   ► Yeah. She said, evidently, what happened was you got up, presumably, to use the restroom.

00:44:08 ◼   ► Oh, God.

00:44:08 ◼   ► And then you went out the wrong door in your sleep, peed everywhere in the hallway.

00:44:14 ◼   ► (laughs)

00:44:16 ◼   ► and then knocked on the door to get back into the room

00:44:21 ◼   ► and came back and went right back to sleep.

00:44:23 ◼   ► And as she was telling that story,

00:44:26 ◼   ► - You said, "This sounds like me."

00:44:28 ◼   ► - I was, you know, sleepwalking is a thing,

00:44:30 ◼   ► but the thing that bummed me out,

00:44:31 ◼   ► I just listened to that story and it's like,

00:44:33 ◼   ► the character in that story is awesome.

00:44:36 ◼   ► (laughs)

00:44:38 ◼   ► And it's sad because I can't remember it

00:44:40 ◼   ► and I'm bugged about that.

00:44:41 ◼   ► I don't know why, oh, I just,

00:44:42 ◼   ► pee pee jokes, pee pee stories.

00:44:43 ◼   ► But yeah, no, that was a thing.

00:44:47 ◼   ► And so that actually was, I went on app.net.

00:44:50 ◼   ► Maybe I had done that before,

00:44:51 ◼   ► like so how much should you tip for weird stuff?

00:44:55 ◼   ► - For mandating all over the hallway.

00:44:57 ◼   ► - That's right, that's right.

00:44:58 ◼   ► - Right, and that is a little outside the normal bounds

00:45:00 ◼   ► of hotel tipping, where you're tipping within your room,

00:45:03 ◼   ► you tip the person who's gonna come in and clean your room.

00:45:07 ◼   ► Whereas if you've done some--

00:45:08 ◼   ► - Oh yeah.

00:45:09 ◼   ► - If you've done some--

00:45:10 ◼   ► - Some hall stuff.

00:45:11 ◼   ► - Put a $100 bill on the wall and just stick a knife into it

00:45:14 ◼   ► and just in the hallway.

00:45:16 ◼   ► And they'll know what it's for.

00:45:17 ◼   ► - Yeah, you definitely, I guess the moral of the story

00:45:20 ◼   ► is in your notepad with the check marks

00:45:23 ◼   ► according to the reasons, you definitely want an other.

00:45:25 ◼   ► - Yeah, you need an other with a couple lines.

00:45:29 ◼   ► - 'Cause you never would have predicted that either.

00:45:32 ◼   ► - I would have seen it coming.

00:45:33 ◼   ► - You know, I mean, during your anecdote,

00:45:34 ◼   ► you pointed at me because you know

00:45:36 ◼   ► that I've had several similar circumstances.

00:45:40 ◼   ► Yeah, and you know, it turns out it's fairly common. Like, it happens, like, people will

00:45:44 ◼   ► sleepwalk...

00:45:45 ◼   ► Two out of three people in this room have micturated in a hotel room in a place that

00:45:50 ◼   ► was not the toilet.

00:45:51 ◼   ► That they know. That they know. It's possible.

00:45:53 ◼   ► You think I'm three out of three and I just don't even know.

00:45:56 ◼   ► You never know.

00:45:57 ◼   ► It's possible. You're right. You're right.

00:45:58 ◼   ► You have to have independent verification.

00:46:00 ◼   ► Yeah, and for me, and I guess I always had the wrong idea about what sleepwalking was,

00:46:05 ◼   ► You know, it was my understanding of sleepwalking was informed by like Popeye cartoons.

00:46:10 ◼   ► - Right. - Arms out.

00:46:12 ◼   ► - Arms out. - Right.

00:46:13 ◼   ► - Bumping into walls. - Yeah.

00:46:15 ◼   ► - Eyes closed. - Eyes closed.

00:46:18 ◼   ► And it's really just sort of like, I guess what it really is, is you're just sort of semi-waking up.

00:46:24 ◼   ► - Right. - Like, and, you know,

00:46:27 ◼   ► I think very probably commonly because you have to pee, you have to urinate,

00:46:31 ◼   ► and your body as an adult,

00:46:33 ◼   ► once you reach that stage where you, you know,

00:46:36 ◼   ► no longer talk. - It doesn't let you just go.

00:46:37 ◼   ► - Right, like you actually can't.

00:46:39 ◼   ► Like that's actually, like the Jackass guys had that thing,

00:46:41 ◼   ► or maybe it was Howard Stern, I don't know.

00:46:43 ◼   ► But one of those shows where people do crazy stunts,

00:46:45 ◼   ► they were trying to pee their pants all together,

00:46:48 ◼   ► and none of them could like bring themselves--

00:46:49 ◼   ► - Couldn't perform?

00:46:50 ◼   ► - Sorry, even consciously?

00:46:51 ◼   ► Like just in a room? - Yeah, yeah, it was--

00:46:54 ◼   ► - Interesting.

00:46:55 ◼   ► - Well, I'm sure readers, or listeners of the talk show

00:46:57 ◼   ► will point it out because I think it was,

00:46:58 ◼   ► I forget if it was Howard Stern or Jackass.

00:47:00 ◼   ► I think it was Howard Stern, though.

00:47:01 ◼   ► I think it was Howard Stern, and they all put on Depends,

00:47:04 ◼   ► and they were trying to pee their pants on air,

00:47:07 ◼   ► on purpose, as a gag, which is kind of a funny gag,

00:47:10 ◼   ► and they couldn't do it.

00:47:11 ◼   ► Like, you actually, like, your body is hooked up

00:47:13 ◼   ► not to do it, so you're--

00:47:14 ◼   ► - It's probably a good thing.

00:47:15 ◼   ► - You have to pee, your body wakes up, you start walking,

00:47:18 ◼   ► but you're not really up, and then next thing you know,

00:47:21 ◼   ► you're down there at the front desk of the hotel,

00:47:23 ◼   ► wearing your underwear, saying, you know--

00:47:24 ◼   ► - Hanging on your underwear.

00:47:25 ◼   ► - I need my room key.

00:47:26 ◼   ► - Yeah, I'm sure that, you know,

00:47:28 ◼   ► At Cornell Hotel Management, it's a 300 or 400 level class, but it's like dealing with

00:47:33 ◼   ► sleepwalkers, dealing with confused men in their underwear.

00:47:38 ◼   ► Now let me get your opinion on this.

00:47:41 ◼   ► Waking a sleepwalker, yes or no?

00:47:43 ◼   ► Well, I think they instantly die.

00:47:46 ◼   ► That is what I – Every Nancy Drew mystery I've ever read shows that they instantly

00:47:48 ◼   ► die.

00:47:49 ◼   ► See, now I think that that's one of those things where I have this misconception that

00:47:54 ◼   ► you do – for God's sake, whatever you do, don't wake a sleepwalker.

00:47:57 ◼   ► And you just let them piss all over the whole hallway or whatever.

00:48:00 ◼   ► Right, right. Whereas what I think is the times that I've had these problems, I think

00:48:03 ◼   ► like a good slap in my face is what I needed, you know?

00:48:06 ◼   ► Right, right, right.

00:48:07 ◼   ► Oh, the toilet, right. Sorry. Sorry.

00:48:09 ◼   ► Right. And I'm lucky too where I've always, you know, I am a—no matter what happens,

00:48:15 ◼   ► I can always get back to sleep. So it wouldn't be like, "Oh, you woke me up and now I can't

00:48:19 ◼   ► get back to sleep." I get back to sleep anyway. But I think like something to make

00:48:23 ◼   ► me a little bit more conscious so that I know that, yes, this is the bathroom door, not

00:48:26 ◼   ► the door to go out in the hallway, it would be good.

00:48:31 ◼   ► So now somebody's going to do it to you and you're just going to keel over dead and that'll

00:48:35 ◼   ► be the end of it.

00:48:36 ◼   ► How did John die?

00:48:37 ◼   ► Somebody whooped him.

00:48:38 ◼   ► This is episode 227 of Touch.

00:48:39 ◼   ► Well, the other thing too is there's like the standard format for a hotel room where

00:48:44 ◼   ► the bathroom is just to the right or left of the entrance.

00:48:49 ◼   ► But then there's some weird hotels that are like, you know, like octagon shaped and then

00:48:54 ◼   ► it stuffs at different angles.

00:48:56 ◼   ► ultimate fighting in there for some reason.

00:48:57 ◼   ► David: Have you heard the story? I can't remember if it was a This American Life or like some

00:49:01 ◼   ► sort of, you know, it was one of those--

00:49:03 ◼   ► John: White Guy Radio?

00:49:04 ◼   ► David; Yes. It was a WGR story where they--it was about a guy who--blind guy, very confident

00:49:11 ◼   ► in his skills, has great, you know, has been blind I think his whole life, could not find

00:49:16 ◼   ► the bathroom in his hotel room. And it's because it was an unfamiliar configuration and there

00:49:21 ◼   ► was some goofy thing or maybe it was the door, but it was some goofy thing that just kept

00:49:25 ◼   ► tricking his ability to walk around the room and feel what was happening around the room

00:49:30 ◼   ► and he would just pass right by the actual opening.

00:49:32 ◼   ► And so he was just going in circles?

00:49:34 ◼   ► Going in circles for a long time. It's a cool story. Yeah, we should find it because

00:49:38 ◼   ► it's fascinating.

00:49:39 ◼   ► See, at that point, you can just go wherever you want. It's like the doctor's waiting

00:49:42 ◼   ► room. If it's been that long, just go. That's on them.

00:49:46 ◼   ► Yeah, that's called blind guy prerogative too. Like you can just do—that's fine

00:49:50 ◼   ► and everybody's on board with that. That's Cornell Hotel Management 324.

00:49:54 ◼   ► So, restaurants sometimes are in a truck, as we talked about. This is what I'm thinking

00:50:05 ◼   ► here with your story.

00:50:06 ◼   ► Right, right.

00:50:07 ◼   ► In a bathroom truck?

00:50:08 ◼   ► Hotel truck.

00:50:09 ◼   ► Oh, hotel truck. No, no, I don't trust it. I don't trust it.

00:50:12 ◼   ► What about hotel van?

00:50:13 ◼   ► Oh, God.

00:50:14 ◼   ► Just a Queens' mattress.

00:50:17 ◼   ► Hotel windowless van.

00:50:19 ◼   ► Hotel windowless van.

00:50:20 ◼   ► No, I don't trust it because the hotel could move while I'm asleep.

00:50:23 ◼   ► Or maybe you want it because the hotel will move when you're asleep and it's like the

00:50:28 ◼   ► moving castle.

00:50:29 ◼   ► Suddenly you wake up and maybe you're in Vegas.

00:50:32 ◼   ► Who knows?

00:50:33 ◼   ► Maybe you're in Omaha, Nebraska.

00:50:34 ◼   ► It's a surprise.

00:50:35 ◼   ► See, I'm thinking though much like Taco Lou's genius of go to where the hungry people are.

00:50:40 ◼   ► Go to where the sleepy people are.

00:50:41 ◼   ► Go to where the sleepy people are.

00:50:42 ◼   ► Yeah.

00:50:43 ◼   ► But the sleepy people don't need anything from you.

00:50:45 ◼   ► They can just go to sleep.

00:50:46 ◼   ► Not necessarily.

00:50:47 ◼   ► Not if they have to get home, for example, or, you know.

00:50:50 ◼   ► Think about Las Vegas. I think Las Vegas, maybe that would be a place where the...

00:50:54 ◼   ► That would be a good city for it because you might wind up two, three, four miles away from your hotel.

00:51:00 ◼   ► Isn't this just called a cab though?

00:51:03 ◼   ► Maybe you don't want to ride that cab. Slow down, Paul. There's something here. Alright, I'm sorry.

00:51:08 ◼   ► I, you know, maybe that's what normal people do is you say you just get in a cab, take you back to your hotel.

00:51:13 ◼   ► Tell them you're at it, fall asleep.

00:51:14 ◼   ► Yeah, you're 25 minutes away from going to sleep.

00:51:17 ◼   ► Whereas if it was right there, you'd just check right in.

00:51:20 ◼   ► Ooh, also, oh my god.

00:51:22 ◼   ► You could check into the hotel van.

00:51:23 ◼   ► We're gonna be millionaires because, you know who sponsors this?

00:51:25 ◼   ► Tempur-Pedic.

00:51:26 ◼   ► They are never able to give people that nighttime sleep experience.

00:51:30 ◼   ► There it is.

00:51:31 ◼   ► So we just buy an old school bus.

00:51:34 ◼   ► A VW Vanagon.

00:51:36 ◼   ► Yeah, or a Vanagon.

00:51:37 ◼   ► Throw a Tempur-Pedic in there.

00:51:38 ◼   ► No, it's gotta be bus size because...

00:51:40 ◼   ► It's gotta be a school bus?

00:51:41 ◼   ► Alright, we're gonna throw 10?

00:51:42 ◼   ► It's gotta scale.

00:51:43 ◼   ► So we're going to throw in like 10.

00:51:44 ◼   ► And you can just cruise the strip.

00:51:45 ◼   ► Cruise the strip and sleepy school bus.

00:51:46 ◼   ► And you're going to get everybody hooked on the Tempurpedics.

00:51:50 ◼   ► Sleepy school bus.

00:51:51 ◼   ► And back to Nancy Drew, my favorite Nancy Drew mystery is sleepy school bus.

00:51:53 ◼   ► The sleepy school bus.

00:51:54 ◼   ► The mystery, okay, the curse of.

00:51:56 ◼   ► But yeah, Tempurpedics sponsors it and I presume pays for everything.

00:52:00 ◼   ► I don't know how sponsorship works.

00:52:02 ◼   ► But we're going to be so rich.

00:52:05 ◼   ► One way or another, Tempurpedic owes us money.

00:52:08 ◼   ► Just send them an invoice, right?

00:52:10 ◼   ► No, the sponsors pay for everything.

00:52:11 ◼   ► Squarespace bought the the mictors sour mash bourbon.

00:52:15 ◼   ► Delicious.

00:52:16 ◼   ► Delicious.

00:52:17 ◼   ► Which is actually really good.

00:52:18 ◼   ► We got, I feel like, I feel like you can hear in the show where, you know, we got a little looser.

00:52:25 ◼   ► WWDC.

00:52:30 ◼   ► So there's a big conference and hotels get tight.

00:52:34 ◼   ► Yeah.

00:52:34 ◼   ► Yeah, they fill up.

00:52:35 ◼   ► And then you start, you know, if you're on a, you know, you don't want to spend too much.

00:52:39 ◼   ► and then all of a sudden you're looking at hotels six, seven blocks out.

00:52:44 ◼   ► South by Southwest, even better examples.

00:52:46 ◼   ► South by Southwest, they literally sell out of hotels.

00:52:49 ◼   ► And if you book too late, you actually, no exaggeration, no hyperbole,

00:52:53 ◼   ► they recommend to you hotels that are like Dallas.

00:52:56 ◼   ► Like La Quinta in Dallas.

00:52:58 ◼   ► Yeah, and there will be a shuttle.

00:53:00 ◼   ► Right.

00:53:01 ◼   ► You're going to have to get up at 3 a.m.

00:53:03 ◼   ► You'll miss the morning sessions, but you'll get there by 1 p.m.

00:53:07 ◼   ► But it doesn't make sense for the city of Austin to build up hotel capacity just for that one week.

00:53:14 ◼   ► Oh, Sleepy School Bus comes in.

00:53:16 ◼   ► Yeah, just like a food truck.

00:53:17 ◼   ► Well, I think South by Southwest, we'd have a fleet of them.

00:53:20 ◼   ► Oh, we have. Yeah, well, I mean, they're called--

00:53:22 ◼   ► Don't get-- Please, don't let me just force that name upon us.

00:53:25 ◼   ► That's just my working title, Sleepy School Bus.

00:53:27 ◼   ► But, you know, we have-- Yeah, exactly.

00:53:30 ◼   ► - Just every-- - It doesn't sound upscale.

00:53:32 ◼   ► - You know what happens, though? - Can we upscale it a little?

00:53:33 ◼   ► Like, when people see this-- Let's-- Okay, let's think about the title.

00:53:36 ◼   ► once people see the sleepy, sleepy valet, the sleepy valet rolling into town and they

00:53:42 ◼   ► see, you know, bus after bus coming in, you get, you get citizens out on the streets clapping

00:53:47 ◼   ► like, "Woo-hoo! Let's do this! It's party time!"

00:53:50 ◼   ► I, again, the name you're doing, that's a, that's a, it's a working title. Code name

00:53:56 ◼   ► or something. Right, sure, sure, sure. No, I'm thinking that we're shooting for like

00:53:59 ◼   ► four star, four and a half star. Yeah, it's upscale. I mean, let's face it, we're not

00:54:02 ◼   ► going to get a fifth star.

00:54:03 ◼   ► No, you can't get a fifth star.

00:54:05 ◼   ► If you don't have a foundation, there's no fifth star available to you.

00:54:08 ◼   ► Right.

00:54:09 ◼   ► But I think we could shoot for four and a half stars.

00:54:13 ◼   ► And settle for four.

00:54:14 ◼   ► And we'll probably get four.

00:54:15 ◼   ► So do we have one bus that's just the business center?

00:54:18 ◼   ► One bus that's a gym?

00:54:19 ◼   ► It's got a printer, right, exactly.

00:54:21 ◼   ► It's a hotel on wheels, but it's like 47 wheels.

00:54:24 ◼   ► It's like so many wheels.

00:54:26 ◼   ► It's a half mile of hotel.

00:54:27 ◼   ► That's another half mile hotel.

00:54:29 ◼   ► Let's check these off, though.

00:54:30 ◼   ► What are the hallmarks of your, you know, like a nice...

00:54:34 ◼   ► Right.

00:54:35 ◼   ► Not great.

00:54:36 ◼   ► You're not talking about the Four Seasons.

00:54:37 ◼   ► You're looking for a Sheraton level experience, right?

00:54:38 ◼   ► Yeah, exactly.

00:54:39 ◼   ► Four Stars.

00:54:40 ◼   ► So you've got to have a bar.

00:54:41 ◼   ► Oh, yes you do.

00:54:43 ◼   ► Now...

00:54:44 ◼   ► Well, wait.

00:54:45 ◼   ► Isn't the Sheraton the one that doesn't have bars?

00:54:46 ◼   ► No, that's Marriott.

00:54:47 ◼   ► That's Marriott.

00:54:48 ◼   ► Well, Marriotts have bars, but they're run by the Mormons.

00:54:50 ◼   ► Yeah, they close at like 6 p.m.

00:54:51 ◼   ► They're open from 5.30 to 6 or something.

00:54:53 ◼   ► They're only open when you don't want to drink.

00:54:55 ◼   ► Right.

00:54:56 ◼   ► They're open from 5.30 to 6 a.m., right?

00:54:57 ◼   ► You look thirsty, slam.

00:54:59 ◼   ► So, you need to have a hotel bar.

00:55:04 ◼   ► You need a bar.

00:55:05 ◼   ► But I think you need a workout room.

00:55:08 ◼   ► I love an elliptical treadmill.

00:55:10 ◼   ► You're never going to get four stars without the health club.

00:55:12 ◼   ► You will.

00:55:13 ◼   ► You need a health club.

00:55:14 ◼   ► Now, how are we going to do the pool?

00:55:16 ◼   ► That's really the problem.

00:55:17 ◼   ► You don't need a pool.

00:55:18 ◼   ► I don't think you need a pool.

00:55:19 ◼   ► You mean get away without the pool.

00:55:20 ◼   ► I think you can get away without a pool.

00:55:21 ◼   ► Yeah, that's true.

00:55:22 ◼   ► Pool is a great thing to have in a hotel, but I think you can get away without it.

00:55:24 ◼   ► We can't do like a rooftop pool on these buses?

00:55:27 ◼   ► That's a great idea.

00:55:28 ◼   ► That's a great question.

00:55:29 ◼   ► You know, you go...

00:55:30 ◼   ► Can we get somebody to look at this at least?

00:55:31 ◼   ► Yeah, we need an intern.

00:55:32 ◼   ► The double-decker bus.

00:55:33 ◼   ► Yeah.

00:55:34 ◼   ► Oh.

00:55:35 ◼   ► The double-decker bus.

00:55:36 ◼   ► You can get like a...

00:55:37 ◼   ► You can get a bed and there's just nothing up there.

00:55:40 ◼   ► That's like the Starlight bedroom.

00:55:42 ◼   ► Yeah.

00:55:43 ◼   ► Ooh, yeah.

00:55:44 ◼   ► I'd pay extra for that.

00:55:45 ◼   ► Private bathtubs on the roof.

00:55:47 ◼   ► Yeah.

00:55:48 ◼   ► It just jumped out to me because we were in New York last week for the day and saw a tour

00:55:53 ◼   ► bus going through Times Square and it's January in New York and it was...

00:55:58 ◼   ► It's sort of like a cold snap, so it was colder than usual.

00:56:01 ◼   ► And there were people on the second deck, and the second deck was half covered, half

00:56:08 ◼   ► uncovered, and there were people in the uncovered part.

00:56:11 ◼   ► And I thought, "Well, that--"

00:56:12 ◼   ► Well, you really want to get those smells.

00:56:13 ◼   ► You want to get the smells of New York.

00:56:15 ◼   ► People love a Double D. It's true.

00:56:17 ◼   ► Well, I can't believe that people would volunteer to be driven in 20-degree weather, open air,

00:56:24 ◼   ► but buy those buses, but put that pool on the open part.

00:56:27 ◼   ► We don't even have to retool the bus.

00:56:29 ◼   ► We don't even have to refit them, yeah.

00:56:30 ◼   ► This is pre-built for success, is what you're saying.

00:56:33 ◼   ► Right.

00:56:34 ◼   ► And then, so maybe the elliptical trainers, they're in the covered portion upstairs.

00:56:40 ◼   ► Oh, I see.

00:56:41 ◼   ► So we've got our pool and our gym right next to each other.

00:56:43 ◼   ► Oh, I see. So it's the patio. Go up to the patio, get some sun and some sweat, and then come back down.

00:56:48 ◼   ► Now, I do have a question, not to be too practical about this horrible idea.

00:56:54 ◼   ► Let's be frank.

00:56:55 ◼   ► Let's be frank.

00:56:56 ◼   ► How, you know, as we all have mentioned here, one of the most important things is privacy

00:57:02 ◼   ► in both the shower and bathroom context.

00:57:06 ◼   ► I think this is something where you are just sleeping.

00:57:08 ◼   ► I don't think you get a chance and maybe that's where we're losing our half-star.

00:57:11 ◼   ► We're going from four and a half to four.

00:57:14 ◼   ► If you need a restroom or your shower, tough shit.

00:57:18 ◼   ► Yeah.

00:57:19 ◼   ► And you know, the ace, some of the aces, a lot of the rooms at the ace hotels don't have

00:57:23 ◼   ► –

00:57:24 ◼   ► Shared bathrooms?

00:57:25 ◼   ► - Our shared bathroom is with the Denny's.

00:57:27 ◼   ► - Yeah, our shared bathroom is the Hilton

00:57:30 ◼   ► that we park in front of.

00:57:32 ◼   ► And steal their cable too.

00:57:33 ◼   ► - The Ace is the model for this,

00:57:36 ◼   ► because the Ace, I have stayed in an Ace,

00:57:38 ◼   ► and they do some incredibly aggressive

00:57:42 ◼   ► design techniques on their bathroom.

00:57:44 ◼   ► - There's some austerity.

00:57:45 ◼   ► - Right, it is very much an upscale hotel.

00:57:48 ◼   ► It's not cheap, it's upscale,

00:57:50 ◼   ► but they're doing some weird things.

00:57:52 ◼   ► I stayed in the Ace in Portland a couple years ago,

00:57:56 ◼   ► and my shower was just in the room.

00:58:00 ◼   ► And not frosted glass.

00:58:05 ◼   ► It was glass enclosed,

00:58:06 ◼   ► but it was just perfectly clear glass.

00:58:10 ◼   ► - They call that the sexy suite, actually.

00:58:12 ◼   ► - Yeah, I was gonna say, I saw that on RedTube.

00:58:15 ◼   ► - Well, I'll tell you--

00:58:16 ◼   ► - But you on RedTube.

00:58:17 ◼   ► - Yeah, I was gonna say-- - You specifically.

00:58:18 ◼   ► - Me taking a shower is not sexy.

00:58:21 ◼   ► taking a shower is gross. Now, I happened--I was there by myself. So it--

00:58:28 ◼   ► So it's fine.

00:58:29 ◼   ► In a sense, it shouldn't have mattered. But yet, even though--

00:58:32 ◼   ► You still felt violated?

00:58:33 ◼   ► I--not violated. I felt incredibly embarrassed.

00:58:36 ◼   ► I totally agree with you. The standard in New York does the same thing where it's a--it's

00:58:40 ◼   ► a glass--it's a--not even frosted. It's just a plain glass barrier between the bed--and

00:58:46 ◼   ► it was just me. But I felt like--

00:58:48 ◼   ► The dresser should not see you naked is what you're saying.

00:58:50 ◼   ► you naked. Well, that is true. Yeah, as little as possible. What I thought was, well, what

00:58:55 ◼   ► if I were here with Amy? What if my wife were here? She'd be out there like on her iPad

00:59:00 ◼   ► sitting in bed reading or something and there's my gross... You're scrubbing your ass. Yeah,

00:59:04 ◼   ► yeah. Well, how about worse? How about if you're a business traveler and, you know,

00:59:09 ◼   ► you sometimes have to double up for business travel. Oh, yeah. And that's just horrible.

00:59:13 ◼   ► Yeah. That's not gonna work. Then you go into like the cleaning, like, you know how you

00:59:17 ◼   ► shower or I imagine people do shower when they think other people are watching. It's

00:59:23 ◼   ► like a different kind of showering. Like you don't really get in there like you do when

00:59:27 ◼   ► it's just you. That's all I'm saying. Hey, it's just me here. Paul and John stepped out

00:59:33 ◼   ► for a second. So I'm going to just take a second to mention that this episode is sponsored

00:59:37 ◼   ► by...

00:59:38 ◼   ► -Empropetic.

00:59:39 ◼   ► -And Mictors Sour Mash Original Whiskey.

00:59:42 ◼   ► -U.S. One Small Batch Sour.

00:59:44 ◼   ► -Are we taking it too far? It's a little loose.

00:59:47 ◼   ► I don't, you know, I think this might have, let's just say it's not watertight.

00:59:54 ◼   ► It's, you know, we can't...

00:59:56 ◼   ► Unlike our buses, which will be.

00:59:59 ◼   ► That's right.

01:00:01 ◼   ► You know, it does occur to me, this is random, it's out of the blue.

01:00:05 ◼   ► Scott, you're not really a sports fan, you're not really a sports guy.

01:00:08 ◼   ► Paul, you know, I'm medium, I'm not an anti-sports.

01:00:11 ◼   ► He said throwing his wrist out of joints.

01:00:15 ◼   ► Because you see the thing this week where there's a new performance-enhancing drug scandal

01:00:19 ◼   ► with baseball and some very high-profile names.

01:00:22 ◼   ► It sounds like Chinese medicine.

01:00:24 ◼   ► Right.

01:00:25 ◼   ► Right.

01:00:26 ◼   ► The story is it's a clinic.

01:00:29 ◼   ► An anti-aging clinic.

01:00:31 ◼   ► Anti-aging clinic.

01:00:32 ◼   ► Anti-aging is in quotes.

01:00:33 ◼   ► And a lot of this was all new to me.

01:00:36 ◼   ► And it's the Miami New Times.

01:00:39 ◼   ► And I guess that's a small newspaper.

01:00:41 ◼   ► And all hats off to them.

01:00:43 ◼   ► A huge scoop and the reporting, it was just incredibly well-written.

01:00:49 ◼   ► This is why America has newspapers.

01:00:50 ◼   ► Really just a great job.

01:00:54 ◼   ► But I learned so much.

01:00:55 ◼   ► It's this anti-aging clinic.

01:00:58 ◼   ► And the idea is, and this is all news to me, that if you classify aging as a disease, that

01:01:06 ◼   ► you are there for, and you're a medical doctor, you've got the piece of paper, you can write

01:01:10 ◼   ► prescriptions, you can just write people prescriptions for human—

01:01:13 ◼   ► All kinds of stuff.

01:01:14 ◼   ► All sorts of stuff.

01:01:15 ◼   ► Human growth hormone is what you're about to say.

01:01:16 ◼   ► Right.

01:01:17 ◼   ► Human growth hormone and this stuff, because you're afflicted with this disease called

01:01:20 ◼   ► aging, which—

01:01:22 ◼   ► Called, yeah, going to die someday, itis.

01:01:25 ◼   ► I think we've all got that.

01:01:26 ◼   ► Right.

01:01:27 ◼   ► And instead—and that this whole anti-aging thing was really just a front, and that what

01:01:31 ◼   ► they were really doing to make money was selling the same substances to athletes, you know.

01:01:37 ◼   ► And wasn't one of them like deer antler velvet?

01:01:43 ◼   ► Like without joking, like I think something that came up.

01:01:47 ◼   ► That is Chinese medicine style.

01:01:48 ◼   ► That was where I thought you guys were going with that.

01:01:50 ◼   ► I thought part of the story was that one of the sprays or something is made of deer antler

01:01:55 ◼   ► velvet or something.

01:01:57 ◼   ► I don't know.

01:01:58 ◼   ► It's a weird thing and I understand...

01:02:02 ◼   ► I don't know.

01:02:03 ◼   ► As a guy, you know, we're sitting here drinking bourbon.

01:02:04 ◼   ► It's poison, technically poison.

01:02:06 ◼   ► It's not like I'm Pollyanna about putting substances in my body.

01:02:11 ◼   ► But I do feel though that with these athletes, that it's like, I guess I understand the motivation

01:02:15 ◼   ► that you want to stay on top of your game and if you can get an edge over your opponents

01:02:18 ◼   ► it even helps you.

01:02:20 ◼   ► But if you had this phenomenal body that let you be a professional athlete, why in the

01:02:24 ◼   ► world would you risk screwing it up with these weird, crazy substances that you're getting

01:02:30 ◼   ► from a guy illegally?

01:02:32 ◼   ► Who has the same lab coat as the DriveSavers guys?

01:02:36 ◼   ► I'm a doctor.

01:02:38 ◼   ► Take this pill.

01:02:41 ◼   ► There is no equivalent in our fields for performance enhancing drugs.

01:02:45 ◼   ► There's just performance de-enhancing drugs.

01:02:50 ◼   ► We all start at zero and you can only be minuses.

01:02:56 ◼   ► We voluntarily decide to go minus.

01:03:02 ◼   ► So checklist, we're going to open up a suite or a fleet.

01:03:09 ◼   ► A fleet, that is the word, yeah.

01:03:11 ◼   ► Of hotel buses.

01:03:13 ◼   ► Hotel buses.

01:03:14 ◼   ► Hotel bus fleet.

01:03:15 ◼   ► We don't have a name for it yet.

01:03:16 ◼   ► We'll find that out.

01:03:17 ◼   ► We'll figure that out.

01:03:20 ◼   ► Pools on the top.

01:03:21 ◼   ► Yeah.

01:03:22 ◼   ► Ellipticals.

01:03:23 ◼   ► Ellipticals.

01:03:24 ◼   ► We're going to invoice Tempurpedic.

01:03:26 ◼   ► Tempurpedic.

01:03:27 ◼   ► They owe us a lot right now.

01:03:28 ◼   ► They're going to fund it.

01:03:29 ◼   ► That, and a big selling point is you're gonna sleep great.

01:03:32 ◼   ► - Yeah. - All right.

01:03:33 ◼   ► - We're going to investigate the science of sleepwalking.

01:03:35 ◼   ► - Right.

01:03:36 ◼   ► - Figure out whether, in fact, people died--

01:03:38 ◼   ► - Should you wake them up or not?

01:03:39 ◼   ► - Yeah. - All right.

01:03:40 ◼   ► - Should you wake them up?

01:03:40 ◼   ► - All right.

01:03:41 ◼   ► Do we guarantee that when you wake up in the morning

01:03:45 ◼   ► that the hotel is still in the same spot?

01:03:48 ◼   ► - No, absolutely not.

01:03:49 ◼   ► That is not something we can do.

01:03:50 ◼   ► - I thought the whole point was getting you

01:03:51 ◼   ► to your real hotel.

01:03:52 ◼   ► - No, no, no. - No?

01:03:53 ◼   ► - That is so, I don't even know if that,

01:03:55 ◼   ► if you've been listening this whole time.

01:03:56 ◼   ► - Yeah. - That's,

01:03:58 ◼   ► And my guess is that what people do when they sign up for, again, sleepy school bus, I don't

01:04:04 ◼   ► know, when they sign up for sleepy bus, they're rolling the dice. Like maybe they'll luck

01:04:10 ◼   ► out and wake up in front of their house. Maybe they'll wake up outside of a meth lab in

01:04:15 ◼   ► Tempe, Arizona.

01:04:16 ◼   ► Odds are pretty much against them, it sounds like.

01:04:17 ◼   ► Odds are against them.

01:04:18 ◼   ► What if we guarantee that you won't wake up in the same spot?

01:04:21 ◼   ► Well, let's put it this way. It's a real monkeys and typewriters situation. It's just

01:04:25 ◼   ► going to be random. So it's possible that you'll wake up in front of your house. It's

01:04:29 ◼   ► possible that you'll wake up in front of the White House. Who knows? We don't know.

01:04:33 ◼   ► We're going to need hotel restaurants. Yeah. Yeah.

01:04:37 ◼   ► I believe they're just trucks driving alongside of our buses.

01:04:40 ◼   ► Right. So we just…

01:04:41 ◼   ► We just lean out the window and ideally the same speed but, you know, within a couple

01:04:45 ◼   ► of miles an hour.

01:04:46 ◼   ► Oh, that's very smart. Oh, so this is how you'll, for example, check in. You'll

01:04:50 ◼   ► just check in on the interstate. You'll get on the bus. Then that bus will pull up

01:04:54 ◼   ► at speed with the bus next to you, which will be your route.

01:04:57 ◼   ► Because we don't have time to slow down.

01:04:58 ◼   ► Oh, we're on the run/move.

01:05:01 ◼   ► So you do get a phone.

01:05:02 ◼   ► You'll get a phone, and it'll have those buttons.

01:05:04 ◼   ► Now you don't have to dial numbers.

01:05:06 ◼   ► There's little icons.

01:05:07 ◼   ► There's little concierge.

01:05:09 ◼   ► Right.

01:05:09 ◼   ► And so obviously, space is at a premium.

01:05:13 ◼   ► You'll press the little luggage button to get the valet desk.

01:05:17 ◼   ► Right.

01:05:17 ◼   ► Then the valet bus--

01:05:19 ◼   ► --pulls up next to you.

01:05:20 ◼   ► --pulls up next to you.

01:05:21 ◼   ► And what do you want?

01:05:23 ◼   ► What color is your bag? And then he'll hand you the bag and you can get what you need out of it and then hand it back to him.

01:05:30 ◼   ► Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:05:31 ◼   ► So you're gonna have to tip and change so that you can throw it at him.

01:05:35 ◼   ► I think that this would be incredibly fun.

01:05:37 ◼   ► Oh, this is a moneyma- it's a moneymaker, it's a genius idea.

01:05:40 ◼   ► I mean, it really takes advantage of the superior highway infrastructure that we have in this country as well.

01:05:46 ◼   ► Thank God for Eisenhower. He made this all possible.

01:05:50 ◼   ► Thank you, Ike.

01:05:53 ◼   ► I think it's set. I mean, I think we've got this thing covered from…

01:05:56 ◼   ► So this is probably the last episode because by next week, we're going to be just driving

01:06:01 ◼   ► in money.

01:06:02 ◼   ► Yes, so rich. So rich.

01:06:03 ◼   ► Well, we'll have the hotel. We'll sponsor the show.

01:06:05 ◼   ► Okay.

01:06:06 ◼   ► Yeah, at a minimum.

01:06:07 ◼   ► At that point, it'll just be a labor of love, not a… It won't be commercial in

01:06:11 ◼   ► any way.

01:06:12 ◼   ► Right. Anything… What else? We want to thank Squarespace, the actual sponsor of the show.

01:06:18 ◼   ► there squarespace.com/thetalkshow and the code is the talk show digit two.

01:06:24 ◼   ► I mean we covered pretty much everything that happened this week in technology.

01:06:30 ◼   ► Yeah. So you know what the other great thing and you know this from from the you

01:06:33 ◼   ► you look nice today because you guys have always been very generous on that

01:06:37 ◼   ► podcast with your business ideas and convey them. Oh yeah, totally. And that your

01:06:42 ◼   ► audience has always respected you by not you you share these ideas before you

01:06:47 ◼   ► implement them. And they never rip you off. Not one time. And I think we can trust the

01:06:52 ◼   ► talk show listeners. They're probably...

01:06:54 ◼   ► They're not going to rip off hotel buses.

01:06:55 ◼   ► They're all probably ready to book a couple of nights stay, but they're not going to rip

01:07:00 ◼   ► us off and go and do it ahead of us. They're going to wait for us to...

01:07:03 ◼   ► And they can use coupon code "THETALKSHOW2" to save at least 20% on their room.

01:07:08 ◼   ► I say for the people who jump on early, you get... Book two nights, get one night free.

01:07:14 ◼   ► All right.

01:07:15 ◼   ► That's cool. That's fine with me. I mean, again, three nights of driving can take you

01:07:21 ◼   ► upwards of eight states from where you got on the bus. But if you're on board with that,

01:07:27 ◼   ► then you're on board with that. That's our slogan. If you're on board with that.

01:07:29 ◼   ► If you're on board, you're on board.

01:07:31 ◼   ► When you check in, part of the paperwork might be whether or not you have any legal problems

01:07:36 ◼   ► with our…

01:07:37 ◼   ► In specific states.

01:07:38 ◼   ► States. Great question. Great question. You do want to know…

01:07:40 ◼   ► Which states should we avoid?

01:07:41 ◼   ► Right.

01:07:42 ◼   ► …who's wanted in…

01:07:43 ◼   ► You know what? We could probably make some money with that too.

01:07:45 ◼   ► Bounties and whatnot. If they tell us, "Don't go to Nebraska," we should probably go to Nebraska.

01:07:50 ◼   ► B-line for Nebraska. That's our actual business model.

01:07:53 ◼   ► Yeah, all these companies have no business model. We've got two business models.

01:07:57 ◼   ► We're going to take your money and then we're going to sell you to the bounty hunters.

01:08:00 ◼   ► You think you're checking in to a 200...

01:08:07 ◼   ► Four, four and a half star hotel bus.

01:08:09 ◼   ► And the next thing you know, you've got...

01:08:11 ◼   ► You're in the clink.

01:08:12 ◼   ► pay all of your child support for the last 30 years that you've been ditching because

01:08:16 ◼   ► you're...

01:08:17 ◼   ► Oh, boy.

01:08:18 ◼   ► I think we get a percentage on that, too. I believe that's how that works.

01:08:20 ◼   ► Yeah, I think you could totally...

01:08:21 ◼   ► This is a real moneymaker.

01:08:22 ◼   ► My standard for the success of a podcast is when you can't tell if the thing you just

01:08:27 ◼   ► talked about for 90 minutes was brilliant or really, really stupid. And we just exceeded

01:08:34 ◼   ► that standard/went under that standard.

01:08:37 ◼   ► Cheers. We limboed under that bar.

01:08:38 ◼   ► That's right.

01:08:39 ◼   ► I could totally see too is at a trade show like at Macworld Expo next year

01:08:44 ◼   ► we'll have one of the hotels on the show floor

01:08:47 ◼   ► oh yeah you can just drive it in there we'll drive it in there it's there and

01:08:52 ◼   ► then the people on the show floor can just come in and you know and they can

01:08:55 ◼   ► try their Tempur-Pedic mattress absolutely right and they can they can

01:08:58 ◼   ► sign some paperwork and maybe we drive them I don't know I could sign up with

01:09:02 ◼   ► 450 pages of paperwork all right thank you guys this is great thank you thank