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180: From Instagram Poems to a Bestselling Book, with Loryn Brantz

 

00:00:00   Welcome back to State of the Workflow. My name is Mike Hurley. This time, I'm joined

00:00:04   by Lauren Brantz. Lauren is a poet and illustrator, and a pretty accomplished one. She's a two-time

00:00:10   Emmy Award winner and a New York Times bestselling author. The Emmys came from her work on Sesame

00:00:16   Street, and her bestseller is Poems of Parenting, a collection of illustrated poems about the reality

00:00:22   of raising kids. That book started as a series of posts on Instagram, where Lauren has built a

00:00:27   huge following sharing her poems and illustrations, which clearly resonated enough that they have

00:00:33   taken on a whole new life of their own. Lauren is also the creator of Cuppy, the Good Advice

00:00:38   Cupcake, which she built while working at BuzzFeed, and which became one of their biggest original

00:00:43   characters going extremely viral. But these days, Lauren is a fully independent creative.

00:00:48   I wanted to talk to Lauren because I find the way that she works to be really interesting.

00:00:53   She is a writer and an illustrator, and I wanted to understand what that creative process actually

00:00:58   looks like. How do the ideas come? How does she know when something's working? And also how she's

00:01:04   built a career around this creativity. To me, the idea of talking to a poet was just very interesting.

00:01:10   How does someone structure their life to encourage this kind of creativity? That's what we're going to

00:01:16   get into in our conversation. Before we get started, though, there's something I wanted to mention.

00:01:20   Since we recorded this episode, it came to light that BuzzFeed has licensed the Cuppy character that

00:01:26   Lauren created to Amazon for an AI-generated animated series without Lauren's involvement.

00:01:31   Lauren has spoken out about this publicly and is very against the way in which BuzzFeed has gone

00:01:37   about all of this. Obviously, we didn't talk about it because it hadn't happened, but I will include

00:01:43   a link in the show notes so you can learn more, and I really recommend that you do.

00:01:47   One last thing. Stick around to the end of the episode today because I have a new project that

00:01:52   I'm working on that I want to share with you. Without further ado, let's get started.

00:01:57   Okay, so Lauren, I want to get started today by asking, what is your favorite app right now?

00:02:04   Something you're using on your phone or your computer that's useful for you, bringing you joy,

00:02:09   whatever it is.

00:02:10   I'm using an app a lot, I have to say, that I was surprised I would use a lot. It's Gabby

00:02:16   Bernstein's app.

00:02:17   Okay.

00:02:17   She's a motivational speaker, and I forget how I came across her, I think, on Instagram, but

00:02:24   I thought I was kind of past the manifestation, trying to manifest things in my life phase

00:02:30   from my 20s. And she has a lot of that, but she also has so many great meditations and relaxation

00:02:37   techniques. And I actually go to sleep to her voice every night to the point where it's like

00:02:42   Pavlovian. She's like, hi, friends. And I'm like, immediately, if I've ever met her, I would

00:02:48   get so tired, I think. But it's a really great app.

00:02:51   Yeah, I have some like these little sleep headphones that I use, and they play like wave noises. And

00:02:56   literally, as soon as I hear it, I'm done. Like, I don't think I need them anymore for sleep. But now

00:03:01   it's just I think maybe I would never sleep if I didn't have them. It makes me nervous. So you are

00:03:07   an independent author, an artist. Now, that's where you are right now in your life. But I want to talk a

00:03:13   little bit to kind of set some context about how we got to this point. And maybe digging into a couple

00:03:18   of the roles that got you to today. I'm writing understanding you worked on Sesame Street.

00:03:23   Yes.

00:03:24   Now, that is awesome.

00:03:25   Thank you.

00:03:26   What did you do at Sesame Street?

00:03:27   So I was actually at the Jim Henson Company.

00:03:29   Yes.

00:03:30   Working on the puppets and the props for Sesame Street. I had an internship there my senior year.

00:03:35   I just fell in love with it. And I was like, I'm going to do this.

00:03:39   Did you have an education background in that kind of work?

00:03:42   No. And it was a real fake it till you make it situation.

00:03:46   I was like in the back with like power tools I had never used just being like, I'm going to make

00:03:51   this work. I'm going to do this. It was so dangerous. I actually did bleed on like several

00:03:56   puppets. And then to like cover it up.

00:03:59   Also, it's almost like accidental, really. Like it was, you know, you were doing digital work,

00:04:03   you got an internship doing the physical work and then decided that was what you wanted to do.

00:04:08   Yeah. So I did traditional animation, which is really a lost art form, a very unnecessary degree.

00:04:13   So I was drawing with pencils all day. And then I started interning in both that and Jim

00:04:20   Henson. And it really did open up for me a new world of like ways to use your creativity to have

00:04:27   a positive impact on the world that wasn't just animation and storytelling. So yeah, it was surprising

00:04:33   and exciting. And I was there for five years.

00:04:36   And then after this point, you went back into the digital world, right? You were at BuzzFeed. Was

00:04:42   that right after?

00:04:43   Yes, there was a small break. So I was doing children's books independently while I was at

00:04:49   Henson's. I never stopped doing them. I was doing them right out of college. And I got to a point I had

00:04:55   just gotten married. We went to have a family. And we really needed health insurance and like,

00:05:01   you know, needed to be able to provide more. So I saw a job listing at BuzzFeed for Illustrator.

00:05:09   And, you know, there are not a lot of jobs for illustrators within corporations. So I jumped on it.

00:05:15   I didn't get it the first time I interviewed and I got it the second time. And then I was there for 10

00:05:21   years.

00:05:21   10 years? Wow. Now, one of the things that comes up most in doing research about you is a character that

00:05:29   you created called Copy, the Good Advice Cupcake. How on earth did this come to be? Like, it almost

00:05:36   seems strange now to think that this was a thing that BuzzFeed were kind of dabbling in, like animation.

00:05:42   So how did that come around?

00:05:44   So I was there and I was drawing and writing and we started doing comics there. A bunch of the people

00:05:50   on my team, like Adam Ellis or comic illustrators. I was doing mostly character that was based on me.

00:05:58   And then Copy was kind of like an extreme version of me. Like if you took my most extreme personality

00:06:04   traits and put it into a cupcake, I just wanted to like shake people. And, you know, I'm not violent, but

00:06:11   like, you know, this is your life. Like, grab it by the horns. Tell it who's boss. And so I found a way to do that

00:06:17   through Copy. And, you know, went viral right away. And they were starting an animation team too. And they

00:06:25   were like, we should animate this character. And then there was a big struggle on how that was going to

00:06:31   work because it wasn't an animation studio and there wasn't a contract, this whole big kerfuffle.

00:06:37   But eventually, I was like, you know, I get to draw all day and I have health insurance. Like, let's just do it. And we did. And it was a web series for a long time.

00:06:47   Yeah. And it was very successful. There's like an Instagram account with like millions of followers. Yeah, there was products in stores, the merchandise and everything.

00:06:58   What did that feel like to create a character that's so popular that belongs to someone else when you're doing it in the world in which people do independent stuff?

00:07:11   Like, it's not like working for, as you say, like for a big animation studio where there's a big team coming together to create a character. This is you.

00:07:17   Yeah.

00:07:18   But you were creating it for someone else.

00:07:19   It was a little frustrating.

00:07:21   Okay.

00:07:21   And it did start to like drain me after a while. And I could feel sort of the soul of Cuppy leaving because I wasn't just making it. It was, you know, we were churning it out and they're looking at numbers and it became something that wasn't me. It became like an employee.

00:07:40   Like, Cuppy was an employee of BuzzFeed, which isn't like, it's just the art starts to like drain away. It was tricky because I was very grateful to have a job. In any art form, it's hard to have a job where you're doing that sort of thing. And I love the people that, you know, wrote in and said, Cuppy, help them. And I loved helping people. But at the same time, it felt like my soul was being sucked out of me slowly.

00:08:04   Because it's like, you know, you mentioned it went viral. The reasons it goes viral is not helped to continue when you're constantly looking at analytics. Like those two things really kind of start to come into conflict with each other at a certain point. Right. And as you say, it starts to feel like Cuppy's the employee at the end of the day, which is a very strange thing to think about, but it's probably, I'm sure how it felt.

00:08:25   Exactly.

00:08:27   So you were at BuzzFeed for how long?

00:08:28   10 years.

00:08:30   And then we get, I think, closer towards today. And the way that I came across your work, because I'm sure that many people do, especially people in my situation, having just had a kid, is through your poems on parenting. And you post those to Instagram. And you also have a book. But it started as posts on Instagram. What encouraged you to start writing them?

00:08:56   So they are poems and illustrations that you do as well.

00:08:59   It was very sudden. You know, I had always been writing poetry for children. And then I'd always been writing comics for adults. And I never really gave the poetry that much thought. But one night, we all had colds, like the entire family was sick and slept in like two days. And I had finally gotten my son to go to sleep. It's like 3am or something. And so I'm in bed and I'm like, I'm going to unwind by looking at cute pictures of him.

00:09:26   And then he starts crying. And I was like, Oh, my God. And immediately, like, wrote a poem about it, which was the first poem I wrote for Poems of Parenting. It's like, Oh, my God, shut up. I'm trying to look at photos of you.

00:09:40   And from there, I just couldn't stop writing them. You know, he had to put himself back to sleep because I was like, Mommy's writing poetry now about this. So it was good because he like got a little bit of sleep training. And it all happened really fast from there, which is nice.

00:09:56   So once you started writing them, how long was it until you started publishing them?

00:09:59   I posted the first one the next day.

00:10:02   Okay.

00:10:02   I was working with Miss Rachel at that time and had just kind of been like, you know what, I'm done with BuzzFeed. I've done my time on the internet. I want to take a break and work on something else. And I hadn't done anything for myself in a while. So I started posting them and I was like, I'm gonna do it every day.

00:10:19   So I was getting all these messages about the poems. And I was lying and I'm always lying in bed. I'm lying in bed laying in my phone. This is what I do all the time. This year's to start there. And I got this message that was like, do you ever think about publishing a book of these?

00:10:33   And I thought that was someone on my Instagram and like a person that wanted to know. And I was like, I don't know, I might self publish or something. Who knows? Like, thanks so much. And then I checked their profile. And it was the executive editor of HarperCollins.

00:10:47   And I was like, what did I even write to them?

00:10:49   If you ask me, the answer is yes. Always yes. Yes, yes, yes, yes.

00:10:53   Yes. And I have an agent and I'm very professional and you should talk to them. So I was like, I didn't realize that. So you said who she was and I was like, you talked to my agent for a serious conversation. And then got a book deal from there and did the book.

00:11:08   Yes, I was going to ask you if you had decided, I want to write a book about this, but it kind of feels like the book came to you, really, which is a fun way to think about it.

00:11:18   Yeah, it was nice because I've, you know, I've had books that I really felt like I kind of pushed out creatively. And then books that felt like they just came ready to go.

00:11:29   Once you knew this was the path, so you were going to turn this into a book, did the content of the way you were thinking about the poems, did they change? Like, did you start thinking about the more as pages in a book, then posts on Instagram? Or was it very much the same that they were easy to kind of combine in your mind?

00:11:48   I think either way, I was thinking of it more as poetry, no matter where it was going to go, book or online. So I didn't even think about how it would be online or anything. It was just about making good poems and art. And it ended up when I collected them all, it was very cosmic or something, but they did end up having enough for each section of growing, you know, from baby to toddlerhood. So ended up putting that in that order.

00:12:14   And when you're writing them, are you kind of choosing that you want to spend time to write these things? Or do they just appear to you like the first one that you mentioned? Does that tend to be the way they come about?

00:12:25   Yes, that's usually how I work. They kind of pop into my head. You know, there are times I've done poems where someone's like, can you write a poem about this? And they'll spend time and write it. But most of the time, they're just kind of sneezes in your brain.

00:12:38   They're funny, but they also hit very hard emotionally.

00:12:44   Is this something you have to manage? Do you sometimes have to add funny to some things? Or do they just come to you that way? The balance?

00:12:55   They typically come that way. And I feel like that's a result of parenting being that way. It's such a dichotomy of feelings all the time. So beautiful, so stressful, so funny, so miraculous. So they just end up coming out like that.

00:13:12   Yeah, I think that that is what your work captures. And I think I imagine what resonates with so many people is that it is such a strange thing, the thing that I couldn't fully appreciate until I was in it, that you can have these, at the same time, two very, very different emotions.

00:13:31   And they're both equal. And it's very hard to express how you can feel both, like, angry and happy at the same time.

00:13:42   Yeah.

00:13:42   It's very strange. And that is what you're so great at summing up. And I'm sure that this is part of the reason why Poems for Parenting became a New York Times bestseller. Did you expect that?

00:13:54   Is there any way someone could expect something like that?

00:13:57   So the truth is, I mean, I have vision boards with that on there. So a part of me was hoping, expecting, aiming. And it was like a big dream of mine. And so having it come true was really exciting. I don't know if that's an expectation as much as a hope.

00:14:15   A hope, yeah.

00:14:15   Yeah. And I don't know how I would have felt if it didn't happen, but I probably would have been pretty bummed out.

00:14:21   It feels like something that it could happen, right? Like, especially because it was popular online, you hope you've kind of got a bit of a groundswell kind of thing going on that could get you to that point. Did you have to do like a big book tour and lots of engagements and all that kind of stuff as part of this?

00:14:37   I did a mini book tour that I, you know, put on myself because that's how it is, author life. And I did do some podcasts and things. And I told all my friends and anyone that like had any sort of following that I knew online, like, share this, please. That's about the most of it.

00:14:54   Does being a best-selling author help you with other things now when it comes to other books and other projects? Like, just having that attached to your name kind of open doors?

00:15:07   You know, I don't really know because no one's like, you know, we're giving you a steal because we see this, but I'm sure it does. I can imagine it doesn't help on some level.

00:15:17   And now going in this direction where, as you said, you were writing children's books, but now you're kind of writing about children for adults. Has this changed the types of things you want to make next?

00:15:27   Not really. I kind of go with whatever I'm most creatively excited about, like, comes up in my head. Typically, it's for children. So I'm actually back on that path. But I also have a book for adults coming out again next year. So I really like both.

00:15:44   I don't think I ever expected to write for adults because I always loved children's media and that's been my focus. But then once I had kids and became, like, the viewer of the child, all of that came too.

00:15:57   I guess it's nice to hear you say that because I can imagine it would be very easy to fall into the trap of feeling like you've got to kind of ride away for, like, you know, this works so well. I should make the sequel.

00:16:11   Maybe, you know, talking about when you were a BuzzFeed and pushing something too hard made it less fun. Maybe there's something in there that you've carried forward.

00:16:21   Yeah, I'm very aware of, I think, how my best ideas come at this point. And it involves making a lot of space for them to come.

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00:18:33   Do you brainstorm or do you wait for ideas to come?

00:18:37   Like what is your process?

00:18:38   Like if you're sitting down for the day, like you want to get some work done, some creative work.

00:18:44   What is your typical process for that?

00:18:47   So I do have like a morning routine.

00:18:50   Yep.

00:18:50   It has come and gone.

00:18:51   You know, it depends on the season of your life.

00:18:53   I think when my kids were under two, it just wasn't possible because I wasn't sleeping at night.

00:18:58   Yeah.

00:18:58   I've lost both my morning daily and weekly routine at the moment.

00:19:01   It'll be back.

00:19:03   It'll be back.

00:19:04   But I do do the same process and a lot of my day is trying to make space for the ideas to come.

00:19:10   I feel like it all starts with an intent.

00:19:13   So like my intent has always been to make work with what I can do, art and writing.

00:19:18   It has a positive impact on the world.

00:19:20   So I hold that in my mind.

00:19:22   And it's kind of like I think when you can't think of someone's name and you try and you try and it's not going to come.

00:19:28   But when you stop thinking about it, it does come.

00:19:30   It's kind of the same way with ideas.

00:19:33   And I wake up in the morning and I have like a sticky note in front of my face when I wake up and it says, who are you today?

00:19:39   And what is it that you're serving the world?

00:19:41   And I say, I'm Lauren Brantz.

00:19:43   And, you know, in my mind, I've created a lot of things that go with that.

00:19:47   I'm an author.

00:19:48   I'm an illustrator.

00:19:49   I help children, this and that.

00:19:51   And then what am I serving today?

00:19:53   You know, how am I bringing joy to the world?

00:19:55   How am I like helping people feel less alone?

00:19:58   Like how am I using what I can to help people?

00:20:01   And so I start my day with that and then I go and then I get my daughter ready for school.

00:20:07   And then my son's still asleep.

00:20:08   So I go and I meditate.

00:20:09   Sometimes I get through the meditation.

00:20:11   Sometimes he wakes me.

00:20:13   And then I have like a really funny process that my husband thinks is going to be like the weirdest thing that ever happened when people discover it later on.

00:20:22   But I journal in a really funny way.

00:20:25   Okay, so first off, I never know what the date is because I just don't pay attention to that.

00:20:28   So it says like May question mark.

00:20:30   And then I want to journal because I want to get my words to my hands.

00:20:34   But I don't want anyone to ever know what I'm actually thinking.

00:20:37   So it's all in scribble.

00:20:39   So I have like mountains of journals filled with like just scribbly writing that like I can't even read afterwards.

00:20:45   So I like I know what I'm writing, but it's not actual words.

00:20:50   Okay, so in the moment, you're saying something and your hand is moving along with you saying the thing, but it is indecipherable.

00:20:59   That is fascinating.

00:21:00   Yes, it little bits you can kind of read.

00:21:02   It's just like the worst handwriting you could possibly imagine.

00:21:05   And it's almost like when my seven-year-old does pretend cursive.

00:21:09   It's kind of like that.

00:21:10   But it helps me get my thoughts out.

00:21:11   And then I also feel like I'm not setting myself up.

00:21:15   You know, I can say anything because it's not legible.

00:21:17   I'm a big pen and paper guy.

00:21:19   And there's a company called Field Notes.

00:21:22   They make these beautiful pocket notebooks.

00:21:23   And their tagline is, I'm not writing it down to remember it later.

00:21:28   I'm writing it down to remember it now.

00:21:30   Yes.

00:21:31   And that's always really resonated with me because I don't often go back and read notes that I've written in notebooks.

00:21:38   Having written them crystallizes it in my mind.

00:21:42   So like you're just doing the most pure version of that, whereas you can't read it.

00:21:47   Nobody can read it.

00:21:48   It's impossible.

00:21:49   Wow, that is fascinating.

00:21:51   I really like that.

00:21:52   We laugh a lot thinking about my kids finding my old journals after I pass away.

00:21:56   Being like mom was completely insane.

00:21:58   Well, how did we not know?

00:22:00   Because they always see me writing in my journal.

00:22:02   And they're like, she's like writing nothing.

00:22:04   She needed help.

00:22:04   Yes, she needed help.

00:22:06   So I do two full pages at least.

00:22:09   And then I take my son to school.

00:22:11   And I try to get a lot of walking in my day because I get my best ideas when I'm walking.

00:22:16   When you're walking, are you listening to anything?

00:22:19   No, I'm not.

00:22:20   And I do have like a specific thing that I try to do, which is a kind of a meditative walk.

00:22:27   But I think I read it somewhere.

00:22:28   I think like an Eckhart Tolle book or something.

00:22:30   But I try to look at everything around me without labeling it in my head.

00:22:35   So I look at a tree without thinking the word tree.

00:22:37   And the longer you do it, it's kind of hard to explain.

00:22:41   But it really makes you feel like a fuller picture and a fuller connection to the world because you're not having all these labels.

00:22:48   This is going to sound a little out there, but it's like I'm at the bakery.

00:22:52   I'm looking at a piece of bread.

00:22:54   And if I don't think the word bread, suddenly I'm like imagining all the steps that went into making that bread.

00:23:01   The wheat at the farm being cold, the grinding and the packaging, the person shipping it.

00:23:07   And it's not just the bread, it's like it's everything.

00:23:11   It's kind of like a way to make you feel like I think it's how people feel like when they're on drugs, but you can just do it naturally.

00:23:16   It's just natural performance enhancing, just like constantly.

00:23:19   But I love hearing people talk about these kinds of things because everybody is so different.

00:23:25   And it's like can be hard to try and pull anything from any one person.

00:23:28   But you say you can read a lot.

00:23:29   You can pick out these little details.

00:23:30   But it's the type of work that you do is so interesting because it requires you to be able to take in so much about the world and about your surroundings in a way to try and describe them to other people.

00:23:45   So I can imagine there has to be like a bunch of tricks of how can I take in the maximum amount of information like all the time without trying to do that because you're trying to find anything that can spark a thought, right?

00:23:59   Yeah, I would say I'm like a hypersensitive kind of person.

00:24:02   Like I have a trouble filtering out the world.

00:24:05   So do you have like a long list of half formed ideas?

00:24:09   Yes, I have on my phone a gajillion poems that I just, you know, write.

00:24:15   Like offhand every now and then and little ideas.

00:24:17   And then I have a big list on my computer and I try to organize it by importance or like when it needs to be done and sections and then things I'm going to get to like in 10 years all the way down.

00:24:29   And I just got to go through it.

00:24:31   Where do you keep these?

00:24:32   Where are they?

00:24:33   What app are they in?

00:24:34   They're on a Google Doc.

00:24:35   It's Google Docs.

00:24:36   Do you have one Google Doc that everything goes in or do you have different Google Docs?

00:24:42   I have two master Google Docs.

00:24:45   One is like work that's like happening right now.

00:24:47   Like you have a deadline plus family stuff like and also all you need is braces.

00:24:51   And then I have one that's just work focused.

00:24:55   Okay.

00:24:55   And then I also have one now for my print shop that's just print shop focused.

00:25:00   Do you have a task manager?

00:25:02   Like any to-do or reminders app that you use or is it all in that Google Doc?

00:25:06   It's the Google Doc and then I do use the reminders app on my phone.

00:25:10   Okay.

00:25:10   For like things maybe they come from the Google Doc.

00:25:13   They go into reminders.

00:25:14   So you're reminded to do a thing.

00:25:16   If it's important, it has to be done at a specific time kind of thing.

00:25:19   Yeah.

00:25:19   Like you have to buy milk.

00:25:20   Yeah.

00:25:21   And also finish this book.

00:25:22   Like the things that are really coming at you.

00:25:25   You know, some things are very small tasks.

00:25:27   Some are huge.

00:25:29   So you mentioned you have this routine.

00:25:32   Do you schedule time for creative work or do you try and keep that flexible?

00:25:36   Like you say, like on Wednesday, I'm going to take the whole day.

00:25:38   I'm going to get away at all distractions and that's going to be creative time.

00:25:42   Or do you kind of just fit it in where it works in your life?

00:25:45   I'd say it's a kind of an organic situation.

00:25:48   It's flexible, but it's also, I'm lucky enough, I think maybe the past year I've just been full

00:25:53   time writing for myself.

00:25:55   So it feels like anytime that I'm working as I get to be creative, there isn't like a lot

00:26:01   of bookkeeping in what I do or things like that.

00:26:04   I really try to, you know, I have the two most important things, my family, the work, and I try

00:26:12   to spend as much time with those two things as I can.

00:26:15   And I try to be as present with that thing.

00:26:18   So really when the kids are at school, it's like creativity, work time.

00:26:23   When the kids are home, it's kids time, especially after, you know, at 5pm, I have a brick for

00:26:29   my phone.

00:26:29   Ah, okay.

00:26:31   How does that work for you?

00:26:32   So this is the thing where you tap your phone and it locks a selection of apps that you want.

00:26:37   Do you find that to be useful?

00:26:38   I love my brick.

00:26:40   I can't recommend it enough.

00:26:41   It's so useful.

00:26:42   I brick at night and then I brick through the night.

00:26:45   I don't let myself look at my phone until after journal time.

00:26:48   I just don't want to look at my phone when I first wake up, even though it's very tempting

00:26:53   to do.

00:26:53   So you're locking out everything?

00:26:55   Everything.

00:26:56   No email.

00:26:57   I can do text messaging and phone calls.

00:27:00   So like a regular phone, I guess it's what's called.

00:27:03   But yeah, and then I brick on Friday night through the weekend.

00:27:06   Yeah, I think as time goes on, I'm starting to realize that I need to be more judicious

00:27:10   about that stuff of myself.

00:27:12   Like I've taken a bunch of apps off my phone just completely, but I've definitely had that

00:27:16   thing where I replaced the Instagram app on my home screen with the books app.

00:27:22   And for a few days kept asking myself, why am I looking at a book right now?

00:27:26   You know, because I just was reflexively hitting the icon in its place.

00:27:32   And I think I need to kind of pare that down a little bit more at certain times.

00:27:37   But yeah, I've seen the brick.

00:27:38   I actually bought one a long time ago because I got an ad for them on Instagram.

00:27:43   And I was like, that just seems interesting.

00:27:44   I wanted to kind of know more about what they were doing.

00:27:47   And they seem to be very successful.

00:27:49   Yeah, it's really hard.

00:27:51   I read that book, Dopamine Nation.

00:27:53   That really freaked me out and got me even more into blocking my phone from myself.

00:27:59   And I really do feel like when I have like a full day off of it, I become smarter like instantly.

00:28:05   I just like I can do math all of a sudden.

00:28:07   I'm like thinking clearly.

00:28:08   Do you feel like you have your work-life balance pretty set?

00:28:13   Probably not.

00:28:14   But I'm one of those people that, you know, when you do what you love and then you're doing

00:28:18   it all the time.

00:28:19   But I've kind of accepted it and I like it.

00:28:22   And I think for a while I was trying to fight that.

00:28:25   Like, you know, there's all this messaging that you should have better balance or socialize.

00:28:30   Like messaging to be a health, quote unquote, healthy person.

00:28:32   And once I realized that that's just not me or my personality, I love my work.

00:28:37   I want to do it all the time when I'm not with my kids.

00:28:40   I just do it and try not to like judge myself for it.

00:28:43   You found the balance that works for you, not necessarily what works for others,

00:28:47   which I think is the best way to do it.

00:28:49   I think we're bombarded with specific ways to do things and they don't work for everybody.

00:28:55   When you're writing, so when you're writing your poems, where are you writing them into?

00:29:02   The ones about parenting, it's often when I'm parenting.

00:29:05   So I'll quickly write it in my notes and then come back later when I can actually focus and

00:29:10   write it more thoughtfully.

00:29:11   But that is often where I'm writing them.

00:29:13   Do you ever write like this on pen and paper or is it always digital in some way?

00:29:19   It's digital or I do a voice message even.

00:29:21   I guess the inspiration means that, yes, you're usually thinking of these things when you're

00:29:25   already busy.

00:29:26   So I guess the phone is very helpful in that regard.

00:29:29   You said you use notes.

00:29:30   I assume you use the voice recorder on Apple platforms.

00:29:32   But then when you're actually producing the art itself, where is that happening?

00:29:38   That's at my desk.

00:29:39   I have a Cintiq.

00:29:40   So you just draw right on it.

00:29:42   And the text, how is that laid out onto your work?

00:29:45   I put it together in Photoshop.

00:29:47   I write it there.

00:29:48   I do hand draw some things and especially in children's books, I add like some color pencil

00:29:53   and stuff like that.

00:29:54   But it's mostly digitally inked.

00:29:57   When you're working on something, whether it's a poem or any part of your book writing,

00:30:02   you're writing work, do you have people around you that you share work with for feedback?

00:30:08   Yes, my husband sees everything.

00:30:11   I'd say he's like my head editor or something.

00:30:14   It's very helpful.

00:30:15   I don't always do what he suggests, but I really like to get his eyes on it.

00:30:19   I mean, he's like a grammar robot.

00:30:21   So he just knows that part of things.

00:30:24   And I used to share things with my mom until I realized that her reactions always stressed

00:30:30   me out.

00:30:31   So then I stopped and I just showed them to her when it's done and she loves it.

00:30:36   But she has trouble like imagining the finished product.

00:30:39   Right.

00:30:40   So, you know, if I was like, you know, it's going to be this baby that's a feminist, she'd be

00:30:44   like, I don't know, Lord.

00:30:45   And then I'm like, you know, I might even tell them you this.

00:30:48   I'll just wait till it's out and I'll show you.

00:30:51   So the circle is very small.

00:30:56   Yeah.

00:30:57   When you're producing for things to be a book, you have to share them, I'm assuming, with a

00:31:05   team at your publisher?

00:31:06   Yes.

00:31:07   I'll share it with my agent.

00:31:08   Yeah.

00:31:09   And he shares it with, you know, editors.

00:31:10   It'll be shared with them.

00:31:11   And I also, with the kids' books, I do send it to neighborhood kids to get their read on

00:31:18   it before sending it.

00:31:19   And how are you with feedback?

00:31:21   I used to be really bad at it.

00:31:24   That was one of my worst qualities growing up as an artist.

00:31:28   And then I've evolved and I like it now.

00:31:31   I like feedback.

00:31:33   How did you get better?

00:31:34   That's a good question.

00:31:35   For those of us that might want to know, how?

00:31:37   Well, I dug my heel in on some things and it wasn't the right thing to do.

00:31:42   And it was a big lesson that, like, it's, you know, you can listen to other people and get

00:31:48   feedback and sometimes it helps it.

00:31:50   And figuring out when you don't want that feedback or how to express that you wouldn't

00:31:56   like it in a nice way, it just became a very important way to have, like, good relationships

00:32:01   with publishing houses and editors so that I can continue to make books with them, you

00:32:05   know?

00:32:05   So it's just part of the work.

00:32:07   My first book published ever was actually, I think, like, my best book.

00:32:14   And I was really young and I took it to HarperCollins by hand because it's, like, before you, like,

00:32:19   emailed or anything.

00:32:20   And they brought it back down and they were like, the editor loved it.

00:32:24   And if you could edit it down to 32 pages, bring it back, we'll take another look.

00:32:30   And, I don't know, I was, like, 21 and I was like, F you.

00:32:34   I'm not editing this down.

00:32:36   Never.

00:32:38   And I went and I did it at 64 pages and I ended up with, like, a very small new publishing house

00:32:46   and they ran out of, like, money to transport the books or something.

00:32:50   And looking back on that, I feel like it might have been a good idea to edit it down.

00:32:54   But then again, I actually like how long it is.

00:32:56   So I don't know what the lesson of the story is.

00:32:58   I mean, there isn't a lesson as such.

00:32:59   It's just a thing that you realize you maybe reacted to it more negatively than you should have.

00:33:05   Yeah.

00:33:05   I could have taken a beat.

00:33:06   Because they were obviously coming at it with some level of experience, right?

00:33:11   That they're like, we think if you got it to this, it would sell better.

00:33:14   But you, at that point, made the decision that was right for you.

00:33:18   You know, there are times when you just know you want something a certain way.

00:33:23   I always consider it, though.

00:33:24   There have been times when I thought I knew and then eventually I realized that they were right.

00:33:29   That's happened quite a few times.

00:33:30   I think that might also be why I've softened to feedback because my first reaction is always, like, absolutely not.

00:33:36   And then, like, a month later, I'm like, that's a great idea.

00:33:39   We should do that.

00:33:41   This episode of Cortex is brought to you by Sentry.

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00:35:11   Mentioning feedback, I mean you're publishing into the world of social media.

00:35:15   You know, you're publishing your work daily to hundreds of thousands of people.

00:35:21   How do you deal with that kind of feedback?

00:35:25   I actually only post twice a week very like rigidly because otherwise I get kind of caught up in the tornado of always posting, which then my brain only thinks about content.

00:35:39   And I would rather think about books and things, so I'm cognitive of that.

00:35:44   And when I post, I always ask myself two questions.

00:35:47   I say, who is this serving?

00:35:49   Like, is this actually helpful to the world?

00:35:51   Is it going to make someone laugh or feel less alone or anything?

00:35:54   And also, do I love this enough that even if nobody liked it or everyone hated it, that I stand by it and like it?

00:36:03   And if I answer yes to those two questions, I post it.

00:36:07   If I answer no to one, I don't usually post it.

00:36:09   Or I'll post it and then like realize that I should have just listened to myself and deleted it really quickly.

00:36:13   And so, even if you've answered those questions, it doesn't mean that everyone's going to like what you say one way or another.

00:36:20   Or they disagree.

00:36:21   They have different opinions.

00:36:23   Do you read comments?

00:36:24   I do read comments.

00:36:26   I think BuzzFeed really strengthened my shell to comments because the comments were bananas at BuzzFeed and the trolling was so intense.

00:36:36   And I don't know if you remember Disney princesses with realistic waistlines.

00:36:41   Oh, yeah.

00:36:42   That was my first thing.

00:36:43   And I got death threats from it.

00:36:45   Wow.

00:36:46   Which was so scary.

00:36:48   When was that, roughly?

00:36:50   So long ago.

00:36:51   It was 2014.

00:36:52   See, that feels like such a long time ago that that wasn't common.

00:36:57   I mean, it should never be common.

00:36:58   But I feel like that kind of intense hate happens more now than it used to.

00:37:03   Yeah.

00:37:04   At the time, I mean, it was really ramping up.

00:37:06   Like, Twitter was Twittering.

00:37:08   Everyone was getting really trolly online.

00:37:12   Bots were happening.

00:37:15   It freaked me out so much.

00:37:16   So I thought I was having a heart attack, but I wasn't.

00:37:20   And I was, like, going to the cardiologist wearing, like, a heart monitor.

00:37:23   And I realized it was from, like, these death threats.

00:37:25   It's so alarming when you open up a message and it says something scary.

00:37:29   And even if you're just, like, the most, you know, calm person, it's very difficult to not feel that stress.

00:37:36   So, you know, I did 10 years of that kind of feedback.

00:37:39   And now I'm pretty good at letting it roll off.

00:37:43   Yeah.

00:37:43   But if you go through that and still decide you want to be a part of that world, then you must have been able to kind of build a bit of an armor to it.

00:37:52   Yes.

00:37:53   And I also, I do think about when I post, like, is this actually productive?

00:37:59   By having such a presence on Instagram, you are giving a lot of content to Instagram's algorithm and to their platform.

00:38:07   Do you feel like you're getting something back for that?

00:38:13   I am now.

00:38:14   And I was then.

00:38:15   I mean, you know, it exposes your work to people.

00:38:18   I think it's how I got book deals.

00:38:20   It's connecting with people.

00:38:23   I love hearing from readers on Instagram and it makes you feel like you're more community.

00:38:28   So I don't make reels or YouTube or anything.

00:38:31   So I never got that monetization aspect.

00:38:34   And after a while, my husband's like, you have, like, you know, millions of followers.

00:38:38   And why aren't we, like, rich?

00:38:40   I'm like, I don't know.

00:38:42   It just didn't work out that way.

00:38:43   What are we going to do here?

00:38:44   Yeah.

00:38:45   He's like, you're doing something wrong.

00:38:48   Can you, like, ask somebody how to social media?

00:38:51   But eventually now, you know, the books are doing better.

00:38:54   And I also started selling prints of the poems, which has been great.

00:38:57   So monetarily, I do feel like I'm getting something that way also.

00:39:02   I don't know if you know this, but I'm assuming lots of people find you from your work being shared.

00:39:08   Like, not just you, but, like, people sharing your work with others.

00:39:13   That's how my wife and I came across you.

00:39:15   She was served a post in her algorithm.

00:39:19   And then she sent it to me by direct message.

00:39:22   And then I followed you from there.

00:39:24   I'm assuming that probably happens quite a lot for you, whether you know it or not.

00:39:28   Yeah, I think that's pretty much primarily how people find my work.

00:39:32   It's like a direct pathway of, like, hey, partner, did you see this?

00:39:36   And it just carries on from there.

00:39:38   You mentioned earlier about working with Miss Rachel.

00:39:42   Is that something that you're still currently doing?

00:39:44   I'm not currently still doing it aside from, you know, we're friends and I'll give them advice sometimes.

00:39:49   But, no, I actually, so I'm going to rewind a little.

00:39:54   I was at BuzzFeed forever.

00:39:56   And I think, like, five or six years in, I really wanted to quit.

00:39:59   I did not want to be there for so many different reasons.

00:40:02   And every day, you know, the people around me, my husband, my mom, would talk me out of it.

00:40:07   You know, you have health insurance.

00:40:09   You have a child with disabilities.

00:40:10   You need the stability.

00:40:12   Like, you can't quit.

00:40:13   Every day, practically, I would freak out and almost quit.

00:40:16   And eventually, I had been friends with Rachel for a long time.

00:40:19   And she was coming to this inflection point at her company where they were about to do licensing.

00:40:25   And they were working on this puppet they needed help with and books and all these things that I had experience with.

00:40:30   So we were always, I was always giving her advice.

00:40:32   And it's like, wait a minute.

00:40:34   I hate my job at BuzzFeed.

00:40:35   And why don't I come work for you?

00:40:37   And she was like, yes, of course.

00:40:39   And it was one of those times where everyone around me still really didn't want me to quit.

00:40:45   I didn't have a contract with her.

00:40:47   And we're just like besties.

00:40:49   She texted me.

00:40:50   I was like, this is enough.

00:40:51   I don't need a contract.

00:40:51   Like, I'm quitting.

00:40:53   Like, nobody can stop me.

00:40:54   So I quit.

00:40:55   And it was such a blessing.

00:40:57   And I'm so grateful.

00:40:58   And then I was working as an executive creative director for her and Aaron, her husband, for six months, which was incredible.

00:41:07   But very consuming.

00:41:08   And I found myself kind of like my shower thoughts were going to them.

00:41:14   My, like, walking thoughts were going, which was great because it was a great job and I love the show.

00:41:18   But a part of me was like, what if my shower thoughts went to me?

00:41:24   Like, what if I, like, you know, finally did it?

00:41:26   It was like a full-time writer, illustrator.

00:41:28   And then I think that started popping up with the poems.

00:41:31   And I got the book deal.

00:41:33   And I was like, it's time to fly the nest.

00:41:35   And I imagine as well that at a certain point, again, you come back to wanting to shape your own ideas rather than someone else's ideas or ideas for someone else, right?

00:41:45   It's like going back through your career where you're kind of always doing things for other people.

00:41:50   And I guess you've maybe gotten to the point what you really wanted to do was have your own thing, your own outlet that's yours.

00:41:58   Yeah, totally.

00:42:00   And I think as an artist, it's really hard and really scary to try to do that because the career isn't known for making consistent salary or benefits or anything.

00:42:12   But at a certain point, you just have to try.

00:42:14   I wanted to kind of touch on some bigger picture things with you for creating in the world that you are and that you have been.

00:42:23   Does creating things for children and also for parents carry a different set of responsibilities to other types of work that you could produce?

00:42:33   If you were creating poems that were affirmations just for people in general, I feel like that would carry less responsibility and less weight than the type of work that you produce.

00:42:44   Yeah, I think when it comes to writing for children or making media or TV, the weight of the seriousness is heavy.

00:42:52   I know a lot of kids' books and TV are partially raising them.

00:42:58   I think of it as like, how would I want to kind of parent all these kids?

00:43:03   What would I want them to hear?

00:43:04   And if this kid's not hearing that, how do I get it to them?

00:43:08   So I take it very seriously.

00:43:10   I think these things end up being the voices in their heads, I think, in a lot of ways.

00:43:15   I mean, I know for me personally, I was kind of like an odd duck as a kid.

00:43:20   And so I felt a lot of comfort.

00:43:22   It's like a safe space, books and cartoons.

00:43:25   And those characters, those become kind of your friends.

00:43:28   And that was something I always wanted to give to other kids when I was older, like make those characters that make them feel comfortable and safe when they didn't necessarily feel like they had that in their family or with friends at school or anything like that.

00:43:43   And when it comes to looking at work for parents, do you have areas that you feel like you try to be really careful about?

00:43:52   So like things that parents struggle with, you know, like anger and upset or feeling less than other parents.

00:44:02   Do you ever feel like you have to tackle these kinds of things?

00:44:04   Yeah, I do.

00:44:06   I actually, my next book coming out, I Am a Spicy Nugget, is a lot about that and sort of the journey of my daughter being very explosive and realizing that you don't have any control of that.

00:44:21   You can only kind of control your reaction to it.

00:44:23   And the mom in that is just, you know, she has her inner peace.

00:44:28   She's like cool and collected.

00:44:30   And the kid in it, I think, gets to feel really seen and also makes it a little lighter.

00:44:35   It's humorous.

00:44:36   And I think it's helpful for the kids that way.

00:44:39   So you did share a version of the book with me.

00:44:41   So I will say, I am the spicy nugget in my household.

00:44:45   So I actually took quite a lot from it personally.

00:44:48   I was like, oh, OK, this makes me feel a little bit better.

00:44:50   So it's really lovely.

00:44:52   I think people are going to enjoy it.

00:44:54   And it feels very much in line with the poems.

00:44:58   Did it come from there?

00:44:59   There was a poem called A Spicy Little Nugget because that was something I had called my daughter.

00:45:05   So with her, you know, every kid's different.

00:45:08   But imaginative play is like the number one way of dealing with her big feelings.

00:45:13   If I can catch her before, it's like a full blown tantrum.

00:45:16   So I called her a spicy nugget and I told her I was going to like dip her and milk the cooler off.

00:45:21   Just like real silly game.

00:45:22   And she thought it was funny.

00:45:24   And then that's where the poem came from.

00:45:27   Obviously, you're able to draw and you do draw a lot from your life to produce your work.

00:45:33   Do you have boundaries?

00:45:34   I'm sure you do.

00:45:36   There are areas you don't touch on.

00:45:37   Yeah, definitely.

00:45:38   And that was hard at BuzzFeed specifically because they wanted you to turn out so much content.

00:45:43   You end up looking at like, what's going on in my relationship?

00:45:46   What's going on here?

00:45:47   And I really do think they take advantage of their creators that way because they end up starting to share all these personal things just to make more stuff.

00:45:55   But at this point in my life, I try to be really careful showing my kids online or things about them.

00:46:02   It's hard because they're like so adorable that I want to be like, look at this cute kid.

00:46:07   But I know, you know, after Dolly turned four, I was like, I'm not going to share her so much.

00:46:13   Yeah.

00:46:13   I watched a great video years ago that Joanna Stern, she was at the Wall Street Journal then, and she made a video kind of talking about sharing photos of kids online.

00:46:24   And her whole point was with the way that like, we didn't even know about AI at this point, but just like facial recognition training and stuff like that.

00:46:32   It's like, you know, if you share enough photos of these kids, they're in the systems.

00:46:36   And do you want to make that decision for them?

00:46:39   And it's always really stuck with me.

00:46:41   And so we don't share any pictures of our daughter.

00:46:44   But boy, do I want to.

00:46:46   I know, it's so hard.

00:46:47   It's so hard.

00:46:48   So bad.

00:46:49   I just want to, because, you know, I'm so proud of her and I love her so much.

00:46:52   And I want to share that with everyone.

00:46:53   But then also that thing in the back of my head of like, you shouldn't want to share that with everyone.

00:46:58   That's your thing.

00:46:59   The AI has made it really extra scary.

00:47:02   It's extra scary.

00:47:03   Yeah.

00:47:03   So you mentioned your next book.

00:47:05   Can you tell us all a little bit about that?

00:47:07   When is it coming?

00:47:08   What can people do about that to kind of find out more?

00:47:11   It's coming out September 15th.

00:47:13   It's available for pre-order now.

00:47:15   It's about a kid that gets so angry, they turn into a spicy nugget.

00:47:20   Nothing's going to calm them down except themselves.

00:47:22   You know, a lot of it was, I found that traditional parenting advice hasn't worked for me.

00:47:29   The things I'm supposed to say to my daughter, like I'm keeping you safe from hitting, would just make it so much worse.

00:47:36   Like, why are you saying that to me?

00:47:37   If I tried to hug her, she would like end up just kicking me.

00:47:41   And I realized that she really needs to come to it herself.

00:47:44   She just needs time.

00:47:46   I need to just model being a peaceful person.

00:47:48   So in the book, she just goes through it, rides that wave of emotion.

00:47:54   The parent's there for her.

00:47:55   And then they kind of unpack it a little after.

00:47:58   So people can look out for that.

00:47:59   And I will, again, obviously, have to recommend poems of parenting to people.

00:48:05   If you are a parent or you know a parent, great.

00:48:08   If you know anyone that's becoming parents, great gift.

00:48:12   Like, this is a gift that people will appreciate.

00:48:16   So I will give that additional plug for you.

00:48:18   Thank you.

00:48:20   This episode is brought to you by Squarespace, the all-in-one website platform that is designed to help you stand out and succeed online.

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00:48:46   Oh, boy.

00:48:46   I don't want to think about that.

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00:49:47   When you're ready to launch, use the offer code cortex.

00:49:49   That will save you 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

00:49:53   That is squarespace.com slash cortex with the offer code cortex for 10% off your first purchase and to show your support for the show.

00:50:01   A thanks to Squarespace for their support of Cortex and all of Relay.

00:50:05   Thanks again to Lauren for joining me.

00:50:08   I love this conversation.

00:50:09   I find her creative process to be absolutely fascinating, so it was really great to dig into it.

00:50:14   I mentioned that I had a project that I wanted to share with you.

00:50:17   So for over 10 years, I've been working with Jason Snell on a podcast called Upgrade.

00:50:22   We publish every Monday, and it's about what's going on with Apple and tech.

00:50:26   It's a news-focused show.

00:50:27   We talk about what's going on in the week, review products, that kind of thing.

00:50:31   When Apple turned 50 earlier on this year in April, we made an episode of the show which was actually more historical.

00:50:38   Going back and looking at the history of how they were founded and talking about how that came together.

00:50:43   It was really heavily researched, and it was a really great time.

00:50:46   We loved doing it, and our audience loved it too.

00:50:49   We were getting so many great comments, and people wanted more, so we're doing that.

00:50:53   A few weeks ago, Jason and I launched a Kickstarter campaign to fund the first year of a podcast that we're calling Designed in California.

00:51:00   This is a heavily researched, historical-focused show talking about the entire history of Apple over the last 50 years.

00:51:08   We're going to be jumping around.

00:51:09   We're not going to be doing it chronologically.

00:51:11   We'll be telling the stories of products, telling the stories of what goes on behind the scenes,

00:51:15   using books, podcasts, interviews, tons of research to produce, I would say, a pretty definitive story of Apple's history.

00:51:24   If this is of interest to you, please go to design.fm, and you can check out our Kickstarter campaign.

00:51:29   It has been incredibly successful.

00:51:31   We funded on day one.

00:51:33   We're going to be producing the show now at least for a year.

00:51:36   I mean, we've got really great resources and a great runway now because people have been so supportive and encouraging.

00:51:42   But I wanted to also give you a taster of this show.

00:51:45   So throughout the month of June, we've been publishing kind of teaser episodes, essentially, like the first season as a second episode of Upgrade Every Week.

00:51:54   So this episode that I'm going to play for you now is the first episode of those.

00:51:58   You can go and catch the rest of them in the Upgrade feed.

00:52:00   And then the show will launch to everyone later on this year.

00:52:04   But we're pre-selling memberships, essentially, as part of the Kickstarter campaign.

00:52:07   So with this, we're telling the story of how Apple goes from their first computer, the Apple I, to the Apple II, which is a huge leap.

00:52:16   And so we're telling the story of how they go from, like, here's some circuit boards we're just kind of, like, slaughtering together in a garage to an actual computer inside of a case that they sell to people.

00:52:26   So this is the first episode of The Road to the Apple II.

00:52:29   And as I said, if you enjoy this, you can go and check out the rest of the episodes in the Upgrade feed.

00:52:34   And I'll put a link in the show notes, as well as to the Kickstarter campaign for Designed in California.

00:52:39   If you have any interest in technology, in business, I think you're going to love this.

00:52:43   It's going to be going through the entire history of one of the most important companies in all of history.

00:52:48   So thanks for checking it out.

00:52:50   And I'll see you next time for another episode of State of the Workflow.

00:52:56   People have been hearing all sorts of things about computers during the past 10 years through the media.

00:53:11   Supposedly, computers have been controlling various aspects of their lives.

00:53:15   Yet, in spite of that, most adults have no idea what a computer really is or what it can or can't do.

00:53:23   Now, for the first time, people can actually buy a computer for the price of a good stereo, interact with it, and find out all about it.

00:53:32   We started a little personal computer manufacturing company in a garage in Los Altos in 1976.

00:53:38   Now, we're the largest personal computer company in the world.

00:53:44   We make what we think of as the Rolls-Royce of personal computers.

00:53:47   It's a domesticated computer.

00:53:49   People expect blinking lights, but what they find is that it looks like a portable typewriter,

00:53:56   which, connected to a suitable readout screen, is able to display in color.

00:54:01   There's a feedback it gives to people who use it, and the enthusiasm of the users is tremendous.

00:54:07   We're always asked what it can do, and it can do a lot of things.

00:54:11   But in my opinion, the real thing it is doing right now is to teach people how to program the computer.

00:54:19   These are the words of a 22-year-old Steve Jobs quoted in the November 14th, 1977 issue of The New Yorker.

00:54:29   Welcome to Designed in California, where we are telling the best stories from across 50 years of Apple history.

00:54:37   My name is Mike Hurley, and I am joined by Jason Snell.

00:54:41   Hello, Jason Snell.

00:54:42   Hello, Mike Hurley.

00:54:43   It's good to be back.

00:54:43   So many decades, so many eras, so many different stories to tell.

00:54:47   Really excited to be telling those stories with you.

00:54:50   Jason, what is this computer that Steve Jobs is talking about here in The New Yorker?

00:54:54   He is talking about the Apple II computer, Mike.

00:54:57   Okay.

00:54:57   The Apple II, Steve Wozniak's second computer design, at least under the aegis of Apple computer.

00:55:04   Now, we are here continuing a story that we started on the 50th anniversary of Apple, which is to tell some of the story of the very earliest days, the prehistory and very early history.

00:55:17   We're talking 1976, when they signed those papers through basically early 1977, extending essentially to where young Steve Jobs shows up randomly in an article in The New Yorker.

00:55:31   Last time, we talked about how Apple came to be, how it all happened because a 26-year-old Steve Wozniak designed his own personal computer circuit board, and a 21-year-old Steve Jobs had the idea to produce a bunch of them and sell them to a local computer store.

00:55:50   Now, when we last left you, Apple had registered as a partnership.

00:55:54   It had gotten some help in doing net 30 accounting from their suppliers because they didn't have the money otherwise to buy the supplies, to assemble the computers, to fulfill that first set of Apple I's to their first customer, which was a computer store called the Byte Shop.

00:56:09   Once they did that, they had money left over from their profits to make some more Apple I's and start to sell those.

00:56:16   That's where we left it.

00:56:18   Eventually, Apple would need to become a real business.

00:56:21   Eventually, they would need to ship a real product, not a sort of pre-assembled circuit board.

00:56:27   That product was this new computer Steve Wozniak had been working on that would ultimately be known as the Apple II.

00:56:33   And we will get to that computer in this series.

00:56:37   And we will get to the start of a real business of Apple computer.

00:56:41   But first, we need to take a few steps back because I need to take you back to the late summer of 1976, where the Apple I is finally out there.

00:56:53   And it's kind of a failure.

00:56:56   It's not a technical failure, necessarily.

00:56:59   Everybody agrees it was a brilliant feat of engineering on the part of Steve Wozniak.

00:57:04   The issue was that nobody was really buying them.

00:57:07   The truth is that even though the Apple I was a major step forward in terms of the hobbyist computer world, you didn't have to buy the chips and install them yourselves, right?

00:57:18   That was part of what they were doing.

00:57:20   It was still a do-it-yourselfer's device.

00:57:24   What Steve Jobs delivered in our last go-round with this to the Byte Shop and what Apple advertised in some computer magazines and took to the homebrew computer club, you still needed to attach a keyboard and a display.

00:57:39   And talking about screwing it into a block of wood, you had to put it in a case.

00:57:44   It was not a consumer product.

00:57:45   It was just a better hobbyist product.

00:57:48   And it was a better sort of hobbyist product.

00:57:50   But what it was not was a computer for the masses.

00:57:53   This is not what they were doing.

00:57:56   And as a result, the volumes of what Apple was selling were not even close to some early PCs like the Altair, which was, again, a lot less friendly.

00:58:05   But that didn't end up mattering.

00:58:07   Apple was a very, very niche player.

00:58:09   So do we have a sense for the computers that were delivered to the Byte Shop?

00:58:14   Were they sold?

00:58:16   Do we get a sense that these were successful enough for them?

00:58:19   I do.

00:58:20   I think that the Byte Shop was catering to a hobbyist market who appreciated the fact that they were completely assembled, even though there is that famous line about how the guy from the Byte Shop wanted it with keyboards and displays, which they're like, are you kidding?

00:58:34   And that's not something we're going to be doing, but that's also a clue.

00:58:38   I have to imagine that that was also in Steve Jobs' mind that, oh, what people really want and what we really should get them is a whole product.

00:58:47   And this is the moment, right?

00:58:48   This is the moment that Apple One is kind of like losing steam or has lost steam.

00:58:52   Apple was created to make the Apple One.

00:58:55   It really, that was it.

00:58:56   So does Apple go down one path and become a forgotten hobby project launched by a couple of kids from the Valley who should have known better?

00:59:04   Or does it turn into a real business?

00:59:07   This is the moment where they have to figure that out.

00:59:09   So when I've been thinking about this and like reflecting on our last episode and even you saying right now this idea that the Apple One is kind of a failure, I guess the assumption is at this point that nobody would have assumed that Apple would have been able to be a company to be taken seriously at this point.

00:59:27   Because I would guess there are many small teams in the Valley trying to do something in this space at this time.

00:59:35   And that while the Apple One is interesting, it isn't an obvious path that we get to where we are today.

00:59:42   Yes, including one of the prime movers in the Homebrew Computer Club, who we'll be hearing from soon, who has started his own computer company.

00:59:51   So there are a lot of computer companies out there.

00:59:53   This is not there is nothing. The most notable thing about Apple at this point is that they would become Apple that we know.

00:59:59   This is going to come back again and again, Mike, in this series, which is it's a couple of kids and their friends making technology things in one of the kids' parents' garage.

01:00:09   It's not impressive.

01:00:10   We are only talking about this because of who they became.

01:00:14   Right.

01:00:14   Not because what they were doing at this exact point was really that notable.

01:00:18   Yeah, well, it's very formative for where they go.

01:00:21   And they are doing things technically that are going to be the reason they lift off.

01:00:26   Right. OK.

01:00:27   But they're not quite there yet.

01:00:29   The combination, the alchemy between Steve Jobs and Steve Wozniak is going to launch them on that path.

01:00:34   But at this moment, I guess what I could say is there's a path here where Apple just ends right now.

01:00:40   That's like, well, we had fun, didn't we?

01:00:42   We sold those things and made a little bit of money.

01:00:45   But that's not what happens.

01:00:46   So part of this is the creative drive of Steve Wozniak.

01:00:49   We often think so linearly about this.

01:00:52   It's like, well, they made the Apple one and they sold the Apple one.

01:00:54   And then there's this idea like they did that for a while and then they stopped and said, well, I guess what comes next?

01:00:59   Apple two, I guess.

01:01:00   Let's do that.

01:01:01   That's not what happened.

01:01:02   Steve Wozniak designs the Apple one, setting off everything we talked about in our last episode.

01:01:06   He's not sitting still.

01:01:08   He knows all of the limitations of the Apple one and he wants to make his next computer.

01:01:13   So he's already working on what will become the Apple two.

01:01:17   He has been counting all the ways that he can make a better computer than that first computer that he designed.

01:01:22   That would be the basis of a new product from Apple.

01:01:27   The problem is they they're going to need money, right?

01:01:31   They're going to need money because they already had this issue with the Apple one to get enough money to make them and and a 30 day net at the technology supplier in order to get it to work.

01:01:42   All of that.

01:01:42   And keep in mind that they're only this far because Steve Jobs sold his van and Steve Wozniak sold his HP calculator.

01:01:51   Yep.

01:01:51   And even then they had to use the net 30 day credit policy from their supplier.

01:01:55   So they don't have money.

01:01:57   They don't have money.

01:01:58   So what are they going to do to build a real consumer product instead of just a hobbyist gadget?

01:02:03   They're going to need serious investment and a business plan and probably a lot more discipline than you might expect from a couple of 20 somethings and their friends who are assembling computers in a garage.

01:02:14   Or alternatively, you could just sell the company and provide the technology for a more established company with a ready made hit new personal computer.

01:02:23   You could do that.

01:02:23   You could sell it, which they tried.

01:02:25   Yeah.

01:02:27   And they failed to do that.

01:02:28   So in our last set, we talked about Mike Markala, who is 34.

01:02:35   He seems like the wise old man, right?

01:02:37   And compared to Jobs and Wozniak, he is the wise old man, but he's only 34.

01:02:41   But he made enough money at a couple of previous tech companies to retire.

01:02:44   He likes messing around in Silicon Valley.

01:02:46   He enjoys advising other up and coming interest rate types.

01:02:49   And the two Steves, Jobs and Wozniak, are people he's going to help.

01:02:53   But I want to be clear.

01:02:55   The reason that Mike Markala comes into the scene and helps make Apple what it is going to be is because Steve Jobs is trying to sell Apple to anyone who might buy it.

01:03:05   That this is the other path.

01:03:07   We can make a computer.

01:03:09   Surely a large company with lots of money will give us money, take our technology, and then help us build the next personal computer.

01:03:18   That's the big idea that Steve Jobs has is, can I take this little Apple thing that we did, this hobby, and sell it?

01:03:25   That's the plan.

01:03:26   So Jobs is going around the valley.

01:03:28   He's trying to sell Apple to the highest, middlest, or lowest bidder, I guess.

01:03:32   And that's how Markala comes into the picture when this thing becomes on the table?

01:03:38   It all will lead to Mike Markala.

01:03:39   But just putting it in the context, Mike Markala is always like, oh, well, and then he invested in Apple and got them a credit line, and then everything worked out.

01:03:46   And the truth is, it only happened because they were trying to just sell out.

01:03:52   And that didn't work, so they had to do Apple instead.

01:03:56   No, I actually didn't know about that.

01:03:57   I didn't know, because I guess it's not in the condensed histories that people tell now, that Apple was essentially trying to be sold for parts.

01:04:07   One of the things we're trying to do with this show is tell these stories, and I hope that we are unflattening some of the history.

01:04:16   Because there is a simple, flat history of Apple that skips over a lot of these twists and turns that we're trying to get across here that are part of the actual story.

01:04:24   The story, as much as with any history, it's much more complicated and messy than the simple version that you might have heard.

01:04:31   And this is definitely an example of a path almost taken.

01:04:35   Literally, if Steve Jobs had gotten his way, they would have sold off Apple to somebody, and they wouldn't have had to worry about it ever again.

01:04:41   But that didn't happen.

01:04:42   Well, that feels like as perfect time as any for us to take a break.

01:04:46   And then when we come back, we can talk about the near misses of selling Apple to the best bidder.

01:04:52   Sounds good.

01:04:53   Hello, everybody.

01:04:54   I hope you're enjoying this first preview episode of Designed in California.

01:04:58   If you're enjoying this, you should go back to the Kickstarter campaign at design.fm.

01:05:02   Thank you so much if you have.

01:05:04   So many of you have, in fact, that we're now going to be doing 50 episodes of this show for its first year.

01:05:11   Essentially, Designed in California will be a weekly podcast when it launches later on this year.

01:05:17   So thank you so much to all of you that have.

01:05:20   We have been blown away by the support.

01:05:22   It really means the world to us.

01:05:24   And we're so excited that we're going to be able to get to tell you these stories over the next year.

01:05:29   Yeah, but there's more to do.

01:05:31   And if you haven't backed yet, or if you want to look at some of the higher level pledge levels where we've got cool stuff coming, you can still adjust your pledge.

01:05:40   We have stretch goals that we're working toward, including, and some of these have been announced and some of these will be announced as we go.

01:05:48   But like including doing an interview series where I talk to people who have either written about Apple or who have worked at Apple about some aspect of history that they were involved with.

01:05:59   We could throw those in on the pile as well.

01:06:02   And there will be more beyond that.

01:06:04   Just stay tuned to the Kickstarter page and the Kickstarter updates as we move along because we've got a whole month because this campaign ends July 1st in the morning Pacific time.

01:06:15   So a lot of time left for us to hopefully reach and then add new stretch goals.

01:06:21   We thought we would have more time to arrange a lot of these things, but your support has really blown us away.

01:06:30   We couldn't be happier, you know, as we said in Upgrade, Jason and I have been so excited about this project and we've really wanted this Kickstarter to fund so we could make this show for you.

01:06:41   Because we want to make it, because we enjoy it, and we know you're going to love it.

01:06:45   We have so much great stuff planned and if you just go to designed.fm, you can read more.

01:06:51   We're going to be updating the campaign throughout the whole month.

01:06:53   We're going to be popping in during every one of these preview episodes and kind of giving you updates about where we are and the things that we're planning on.

01:06:59   There is so much left to share throughout the campaign, so please go and check it out at designed.fm.

01:07:05   All right, so welcome back.

01:07:07   Jason, can you fill me in?

01:07:09   Who was on the table to try and buy this little Apple computer company?

01:07:14   Oh, well, they're the giants of Silicon Valley, of course.

01:07:17   So when we talked about this on the 50th anniversary of Apple, I mentioned that this all started with Steve Wozniak saying,

01:07:24   well, I work at Hewlett-Packard, so I should probably give them the opportunity to buy the Apple One design before I go and make a company of my own.

01:07:33   And every division of Hewlett-Packard turned him down.

01:07:37   So, okay, not going to be HP.

01:07:40   Now, Steve Jobs had been working at Atari, the video game company, which for people who don't know was the name in video games.

01:07:47   They did Pong.

01:07:48   They were the be-all, end-all of Breakout.

01:07:52   This was the earliest video game era, and Atari was one of the first huge successes in Silicon Valley.

01:08:00   And since Steve had worked there, Jobs, he pitched them on buying Apple.

01:08:04   He ends up meeting with the president of Atari, who is not the person that he'd been working with when he worked there.

01:08:11   And this guy's named Joe Keenan.

01:08:12   And he is a much more conservative business guy than the people Jobs had been working with at Atari.

01:08:20   And, okay, this is what I was referencing before.

01:08:23   And while it is an unfair flattening of the history, if you will, to say that Silicon Valley was a bunch of smelly hippies,

01:08:34   this is an era where Steve Jobs didn't want to bathe, only ate fruit, and frequently walked around barefoot.

01:08:41   It's not speaking for all Silicon Valley residents, but specifically for Jobs.

01:08:47   Joe Keenan, the president of Atari, could not stand him.

01:08:50   And he said, not only are we not going to buy this thing, get your feet off my desk.

01:08:54   Imagine. Just imagine.

01:08:57   I feel like, I mean, obviously this is a different time.

01:08:59   It was a time that I did not occupy.

01:09:02   But I struggled to be able to reconcile a person who is trying to either A, start a company, or B, sell a company,

01:09:12   which is a very capitalistic endeavor, with a success-driven end goal,

01:09:18   but then acts in this way.

01:09:20   Like, if you have a personal decision to only eat fruit and not bathe, fine.

01:09:25   But then you go into these rooms and put your feet on people's desks.

01:09:29   Like, I feel like I can't get into the mind of the man who is doing this.

01:09:36   It's very peculiar to me.

01:09:37   The more I dive into Steve Jobs for this project, the more I'm reminded what an odd person he was throughout his life.

01:09:44   And he grew a lot.

01:09:45   There was a lot of personal and professional growth.

01:09:47   No doubt.

01:09:49   In this era, it is just kind of like, I don't know.

01:09:53   I mean, he's kind of wild.

01:09:55   Yeah.

01:09:56   I mean, he grew up in the Valley, but to be fair, in the 60s and 70s.

01:10:01   But he doesn't know what he's doing.

01:10:03   I mean, that's really it.

01:10:05   He clearly is so enamored with what they're doing and what they have and who he is that he thinks that it's fine.

01:10:12   And he's running into people who are more establishment types, right?

01:10:16   I mean, there is a hippies and squares dynamic going on here a little bit.

01:10:20   And eventually, Steve Jobs will get with the program and put on a suit and stuff.

01:10:25   But this is not that Steve Jobs.

01:10:27   This is summer of 1976, Steve Jobs.

01:10:30   And he's putting his feet up.

01:10:32   I hope he was wearing shoes when he put his feet up on their desk.

01:10:35   I'm assuming he wasn't.

01:10:36   I'm assuming he wasn't.

01:10:38   But who knows, right?

01:10:40   We can't know.

01:10:41   Nolan Bushnell, who was the CEO of Atari at the time, because Keenan was the president.

01:10:46   And Nolan Bushnell had worked with Steve Jobs.

01:10:50   And what he said, I believe, to David Pogue in his Apple First 50 Years book, excellent book, on sale now.

01:10:56   Bushnell said, he asked me if I would put $50,000 in and he would give me a third of the company.

01:11:02   I was so smart, I said no.

01:11:04   It's kind of fun to think about that when I'm not crying.

01:11:10   In hindsight, this is a giant mistake, right?

01:11:14   But at the time, do you blame any of these people for saying, I'm not going to give these kids money?

01:11:19   Even if Jobs was more regular, it's still a flyer.

01:11:25   It's a tough sell.

01:11:25   Yeah.

01:11:26   But he's not putting his best foot, his best dirty barefoot forward.

01:11:29   Jobs also pitched a bunch of venture capital firms in Silicon Valley.

01:11:35   There were VC existed even in the 70s, folks.

01:11:38   Yes.

01:11:39   They all passed.

01:11:40   What next?

01:11:41   Steve Jobs, who will buy this Apple computer from me?

01:11:44   He heard that there was a company that was big in electronic calculators.

01:11:49   So before their computers, there were calculators.

01:11:52   So people were using electronics to build calculators or adding machines, sometimes they were called, which I think is a hilarious term.

01:11:59   They never subtracted.

01:12:00   They only added.

01:12:02   You added backward to get the subtraction there.

01:12:05   It was Commodore Business Machines, the name of the calculator maker.

01:12:09   He had heard that they were interested in getting in the personal computer game, and they had an office in Silicon Valley in Santa Clara.

01:12:16   So there was a possibility there.

01:12:17   Let me stop you for a moment now and tell you about Commodore Business Machines, a company that people now know, if they know them at all, as the makers of the Commodore 64, right?

01:12:28   That was their hit computer product in the 80s.

01:12:31   There are a lot of our friends who are children of the C64 and love it and had it and played games on it.

01:12:39   And that was Commodore to them.

01:12:42   This is before that.

01:12:44   Commodore is a little shady, I'm going to say.

01:12:47   Maybe a lot shady.

01:12:49   I've been really excited to talk about this part.

01:12:52   So Michael S. Malone wrote a book called Infinite Loop that I think is out of print now, but it's a great book about Apple.

01:12:58   He refers to Commodore as registered in the Bahamas, incorporated in Canada, lists its headquarters as Santa Clara, and at times appear to be run out of Norristown, Pennsylvania.

01:13:07   This is just normal stuff that you do when you have a regular business on the up and up.

01:13:12   Perfectly normal business.

01:13:14   It's just regular smooth stuff.

01:13:16   Yeah.

01:13:17   Yeah.

01:13:17   Well, because it's so normal, you will not be surprised by the other totally normal stuff that happened at Commodore.

01:13:23   Like a decade earlier, its chairman had died under suspicious circumstances while under investigation for defrauding investors.

01:13:33   Perfectly normal.

01:13:33   But it had become a major player in adding machines and calculators, led by their CEO, a person who has the most main character energy of maybe anybody ever.

01:13:46   A guy named Jack Tramiel.

01:13:48   Okay.

01:13:48   Jack Tramiel was Polish.

01:13:51   He was a survivor of Auschwitz.

01:13:52   After being rescued from a Nazi labor camp, he emigrated to the U.S.

01:13:57   He learned how to repair office equipment, including typewriters, and started a business.

01:14:03   It's American dream, folks.

01:14:04   It was post-war America.

01:14:06   He wanted to connect it to the military.

01:14:08   He couldn't get the names Admiral or General, so the company became Commodore Portable Typewriter.

01:14:14   Hang on a minute.

01:14:15   Because USA.

01:14:15   USA.

01:14:16   Sure.

01:14:17   I mean, the Navy needs typewriters, too, I guess.

01:14:19   No, I mean, the idea is like everybody is very, you know, so many people are veterans of World War II in this era, and he wanted to kind of like steal a little bit of that valor maybe, and Admiral and General were taken, so Commodore it was.

01:14:30   His first big deal, and I am not making this up, was importing typewriter parts from Czechoslovakia to Canada to avoid import issues.

01:14:45   It's a tariff thing involving the Cold War, because, of course, Czechoslovakia was part of the Warsaw Pact, was part of the Russian sphere of influence, the Soviet sphere of influence.

01:14:55   So the U.S. didn't want you importing your Czechoslovakian typewriter parts.

01:15:00   So Jack Tramiel used Canada as a way station, that he would assemble his typewriters from the parts in Canada, and then the Canadian-assembled typewriters, nobody mentioned Czechoslovakia, would be resold throughout North America.

01:15:17   Incredible.

01:15:17   So that's how he built Commodore, and then he later pivoted to the adding machines and electronic calculators as well.

01:15:23   This guy, if you've not already detected it, was a character.

01:15:29   He was bald, he was gruff, he was impatient with employees, he was famous for withholding payment to suppliers, and generally, throughout all of the references I can find to him, terrifying, just terrifying.

01:15:43   He would sometimes shut down all conversation, this was his big move, he would shut down all conversation with people he felt considered themselves superior to him because of their educational background.

01:15:53   Because he was a poor kid from Poland who got out of the labor camp, got to the U.S., built himself up by his bootstraps, right?

01:16:01   People who felt all fancy to him, he would declare, he also went to university.

01:16:08   He went to the University of Auschwitz!

01:16:10   Oh my God.

01:16:12   Well, that end of, I mean, end of conversation there.

01:16:14   It's like, okay, and then everybody leaves?

01:16:17   I don't know what you're supposed to say to them.

01:16:19   I, I don't, I mean, yeah, what can you say?

01:16:23   I mean, it's probably why he kept reusing it, because it worked every single time.

01:16:27   You've heard of conversation starters?

01:16:29   This was a conversation stopper.

01:16:31   100% success rate on I went to the University of Auschwitz.

01:16:35   Man, Jack Tramiel, everybody.

01:16:37   So, another feature of Commodore's products, apparently, and their calculators in particular,

01:16:41   was that they were actually well-designed, but then cheaply built.

01:16:44   Okay.

01:16:45   That allowed him to sell them at low prices.

01:16:47   At some point, Tramiel was frustrated by his chip partners, and he ended out buying MOS technologies.

01:16:54   These are the people who made the 6502 chip.

01:16:57   That was the chip that inspired Waz to make his first personal computer circuit board design.

01:17:01   It was very much a, honestly, it's a very much a, an Apple kind of move, which is, we're, we don't like how this chip business is going.

01:17:09   We're going to buy the chip maker, and then we're going to own them, and then we can get all the chips we want, I guess.

01:17:15   Along with MOS technologies came the guy who created the 6502, who was a guy named Chuck Petal.

01:17:20   And he convinced Tramiel that Commodore could excel at personal computers, too.

01:17:27   And he knew, Chuck Petal knew, where they could get a good computer design on the cheap.

01:17:33   Namely, are you getting it yet, from two guys who had to sell their van and calculator to make a computer in a garage.

01:17:39   Right pickings, right for the taking.

01:17:41   We can swoop in there, we can just duck into that garage, write them a check, get their computer, and we're good.

01:17:48   And so, this is what they tried.

01:17:50   Sometime in the early fall of 1976, Chuck Petal and another Commodore executive who was not Jack Tramiel

01:17:57   show up at the garage and ask Steve Jobs to suggest a purchase price.

01:18:02   And remember, Steve Jobs wants to sell.

01:18:05   This is what he wants.

01:18:06   Steve Wozniak describes the scene to Walter Isaacson in the Steve Jobs biography as,

01:18:12   we'd opened Steve's garage to the sunlight, and he came in wearing a suit and a cowboy hat.

01:18:19   This is the Commodore executives, right?

01:18:23   Yeah.

01:18:23   Okay.

01:18:24   All right, so Steve Jobs makes his pitch.

01:18:25   He says, you can have Apple for $100,000 plus some stock in Commodore.

01:18:29   And you have to guarantee that both of us have full-time jobs at $36,000 a year, which is a lot back then.

01:18:39   So, today, that's about half a million dollars for the company and jobs that would pay the Steve's $200,000 a year each.

01:18:47   So, they want to be set up.

01:18:48   It's a big request.

01:18:49   This is one of those Steve Jobs moments, right?

01:18:52   Because that guy had chutzpah.

01:18:53   You've got to say it.

01:18:55   He is asking for the moon.

01:18:56   He thinks what Apple has, which is Wozniak's design, is really valuable.

01:19:02   And so, he's going to ask for more money than either of them has ever seen in their lives.

01:19:06   Steve Wozniak, meanwhile, is watching this, and he can't believe it.

01:19:11   He's like, what are you doing?

01:19:12   This is a ridiculous amount.

01:19:14   You are asking for everything.

01:19:16   This is, this is, I think Woz would have been happy to get, like, a pat on the back and a stick of gum for his designs, right?

01:19:24   He just, he's not thinking about it like Jobs.

01:19:27   This is just so Jobs.

01:19:28   He's like, he sees the big picture, which is that this, that Wozniak's design is revolutionary, but also he sees a company that, you know, they got a lot of money.

01:19:38   Maybe they'll pay us a lot of money for it.

01:19:39   So, the Commodore people are like, okay, okay, we'll take your offer, and we'll consider it.

01:19:44   And they leave.

01:19:44   Steve Jobs, meanwhile, is researching who Commodore is.

01:19:49   Oh, wow.

01:19:50   So, this is all, like, I've never met these people before.

01:19:53   I don't know who they are, but we want to work in your company forever.

01:19:56   They know pedal, but, like, I need to know if this is going to happen, I need to know who I'm getting into business with.

01:20:03   And so, he starts researching, and, you know, they, remember when I said they were sort of shady?

01:20:07   Jobs calls everyone he knows who knows anything about Commodore, and the news is bad.

01:20:14   The products are bad.

01:20:15   Again, good designs, but cheaply built and prone to failure.

01:20:19   The people who worked at Commodore hated it.

01:20:22   Commodore often didn't pay its bills, which is a red flag if you're trying to get money from them.

01:20:27   And what Steve Jobs later said about it was, the more I looked into Commodore, the sleazier they were.

01:20:34   I couldn't find one person who had made a deal with them and was happy.

01:20:38   Everyone felt they had been cheated.

01:20:42   So, Steve Jobs gets on the phone and calls Commodore and says, no deal.

01:20:48   We're not interested.

01:20:49   I guess the timeline of that is interesting, because he's made the offer, and they've gone away to think about it.

01:20:55   Jobs has had enough time to do some research, and Commodore still hasn't said yes or no,

01:21:01   which means that they were maybe considering it, maybe?

01:21:05   Well, they weren't.

01:21:06   Okay.

01:21:07   While this is all going on, Jack Tramiel, who was the CEO, was like, no.

01:21:12   A Commodore exec who had been interested said they thought it was ridiculous to acquire two guys working out of a garage, which, fair.

01:21:21   Despite the best efforts of Chuck Petal and his cowboy hat, no deal.

01:21:26   Instead, Commodore did what it always did, which it rushed out a cheaper, less impressive computer nine months later called the Commodore Pet.

01:21:35   And what Waz said about this whole thing was, the pet kind of sickened me.

01:21:41   This is what he said to Isaacson.

01:21:43   They made a really crappy product by doing it so quick.

01:21:46   They could have had Apple.

01:21:48   So the pet, is that more in line with what they were building to become the Apple II?

01:21:55   So, personal disclosure here, the Commodore Pet is the first computer I ever used.

01:21:59   It was impressive in the sense that it had the integrated keyboard and display.

01:22:05   Right.

01:22:05   Something Apple wouldn't do until the Lisa and the Mac, by the way.

01:22:07   The integrated display was not a thing that the Apple II ever had.

01:22:10   In fact, I do wonder if that aspect of the pet inspired Steve Jobs a little bit in terms of the Mac,

01:22:16   the idea that it was an all-in-one in a way that the Apple II wasn't.

01:22:20   But Waz is not wrong.

01:22:23   The pet didn't have color.

01:22:25   It didn't really have graphics.

01:22:27   It had, like, this extra set of characters in its character set that were, like, shapes and lines and stuff.

01:22:34   So you could, like, build graphics with it.

01:22:37   But it was, like, if you wanted to do a box, you had to do, like, right angle, top line, top line, top line, top line, top line, right angle the other way.

01:22:45   And then on the next line, you had to do, like, vertical line, a bunch of spaces, vertical line.

01:22:50   You would, like, draw graphics out of these little teeny tiny parts, like Lego almost.

01:22:56   It was not graphics.

01:22:57   It was not graphics.

01:22:58   You could fake it, but it was terrible.

01:22:59   It was like ASCII art, kind of, but with some extra characters.

01:23:03   Eventually, Commodore did get there.

01:23:05   They shipped the VIC-20 and the Commodore 64, neither of which had an integrated display, both of them attached to TV sets, basically.

01:23:10   But they could have had that all with the Apple II, and that's, I think, what Steve Wozniak laments about this whole situation, is that Commodore had this right in front of them.

01:23:25   The question, and this is super important for where we go next with this story, is Steve Jobs didn't wait to be told no by Commodore.

01:23:34   Steve Jobs made an enormous request of Commodore that Steve Wozniak thought was beyond the pale, and then Steve Jobs said, forget about it.

01:23:44   We're not interested.

01:23:45   All while Woz looks along aghast.

01:23:48   And this is going to become a major issue in the relationship between the two Steves.

01:23:55   But at this point, clearly Jobs still believes in what they're attempting to do, because it seems like he would prefer to continue going it alone and struggling than to kind of just throw it all in for the only company that's interested in buying them, potentially.

01:24:16   Yeah, I think something must have changed in Steve Jobs' estimation of their potential at this point, because he could have made a lower offer, lower request to Commodore out of the gate, and he didn't.

01:24:29   And he felt confident in walking away before they could tell him no.

01:24:33   Right.

01:24:34   And that says something about how Steve Jobs feels about this.

01:24:37   But keep in mind the dynamic here, which we will explore soon, which is Steve Wozniak is the engine that's creating the assets for this company, right?

01:24:48   He's the creator of the computer that they're going to make or sell.

01:24:53   Steve Jobs is just like the front man, the hype man.

01:24:57   So when he's asking for all that money, he's making decisions for Steve Wozniak on his behalf, essentially, because now they're a partnership.

01:25:06   But Steve Wozniak is the one who's the motor driving this thing.

01:25:11   And that dynamic is not comfortable.

01:25:14   And the shenanigans with Commodore, I think, lead them down some darker paths.

01:25:18   Well, you mentioned that Steve Jobs is a hype man.

01:25:22   There are places where a hype man is necessary and needed.

01:25:26   And we're actually going to talk about one of those places on our next episode, which is a computer fair in Atlantic City.

01:25:34   Oh, there was drama.

01:25:36   There was drama and excitement in Atlantic City.

01:25:38   We will discuss that in our next episode, as well as the increasing difficulties between the young Steve Jobs and Steve Wozniak as they try to create the partnership that will become Apple Computer Incorporated.

01:25:56   Oh, there was drama and excitement in Atlantic City.