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Roderick on the Line

Ep. 270: "An Archipelago of Stops"

 

00:00:00   [Music] [TS]

00:00:05   hello hi John how's it going really good [TS]

00:00:13   that new Skype sound really bugging me [TS]

00:00:15   though [TS]

00:00:15   oh yeah the new Skype and it's got this [TS]

00:00:22   weird like there's a break in the loop [TS]

00:00:26   you would think that the loop would be [TS]

00:00:28   you know likes its basic ecology that [TS]

00:00:32   seems like basic computer maths yeah you [TS]

00:00:35   got a loop just let it loop don't you [TS]

00:00:37   don't have to I don't even know what it [TS]

00:00:39   is yes um I don't know why but I somehow [TS]

00:00:42   still have old Skype oh lucky guy 7.59 [TS]

00:00:47   and I like hate it I hate them all but [TS]

00:00:51   each one's worse so it's better than [TS]

00:00:53   what it's the future will eventually [TS]

00:00:54   give me I don't know how you did that I [TS]

00:00:56   don't know how you kept seven point nine [TS]

00:00:58   because it doesn't kind of automagically [TS]

00:00:59   right yeah they forced me into 8.1 to [TS]

00:01:04   0.2 Oh too many too many and now up in [TS]

00:01:09   the corner of my computer it says [TS]

00:01:10   upgrade to Mac OS hi Sierra oh no don't [TS]

00:01:13   do that [TS]

00:01:15   where did you come from I don't like you [TS]

00:01:17   go away okay so you get sitting in the [TS]

00:01:19   upper right it says upgrade its your [TS]

00:01:23   options where you tell me what your [TS]

00:01:24   options are [TS]

00:01:25   well it says enjoy the latest [TS]

00:01:26   technologies what are the two buttons [TS]

00:01:29   though oh details and oh should I just [TS]

00:01:34   click details memory serves ok it's Mary [TS]

00:01:37   says details and install Oh almost every [TS]

00:01:40   other notification on the Mac you so [TS]

00:01:43   normally when you get one of those you [TS]

00:01:44   probably know this you can grab it grab [TS]

00:01:46   like the left side of it and scooch it [TS]

00:01:48   off to the right side of your screen and [TS]

00:01:49   it goes away yeah without having to [TS]

00:01:51   click on it that's one of the very very [TS]

00:01:53   rare notifications that you to for it to [TS]

00:01:57   go away you have to interact with it [TS]

00:01:59   well so I clicked details you know and [TS]

00:02:02   it and it went away but the dim hall [TS]

00:02:05   didn't offer me any detail [TS]

00:02:08   it takes you to a page where it's like [TS]

00:02:11   an area there's stuff and just benefits [TS]

00:02:15   so that's so so I clicked a bunch of I [TS]

00:02:20   you know I went onto the interwebs [TS]

00:02:23   mhm and I said why should and then it [TS]

00:02:27   autofill to I upgrade to High Sierra oh [TS]

00:02:31   that could be the algorithm why let's [TS]

00:02:35   see what I get why should see why should [TS]

00:02:38   why should College be free oh why should [TS]

00:02:42   we keep the Electoral College why should [TS]

00:02:43   we hire you why should I worry let's see [TS]

00:02:50   all right [TS]

00:02:57   why should here why should oh no I just [TS]

00:03:09   returned why should why should yeah why [TS]

00:03:14   should we hire you is the first one what [TS]

00:03:16   sets you apart from other candidates no [TS]

00:03:18   no no why should we hire you fee [TS]

00:03:19   why should we hire you estimated net [TS]

00:03:21   worth why should we hire you over other [TS]

00:03:23   candidates why should we hire you answer [TS]

00:03:25   for fresher mmm-hmm why should I get an [TS]

00:03:28   Apple watch [TS]

00:03:30   why should college athletes be paid oh [TS]

00:03:33   why should abortion be legal why should [TS]

00:03:36   abortion be illegal thought that's what [TS]

00:03:40   I get I didn't get anything about [TS]

00:03:42   college being free yeah it's weird [TS]

00:03:46   especially cuz it used to be that you [TS]

00:03:48   could like there was a time when you can [TS]

00:03:50   when Google first came around and fairly [TS]

00:03:52   quickly overtook all the other ones [TS]

00:03:53   there Wow [TS]

00:03:54   this is really relevant where you could [TS]

00:03:56   like send somebody you could say to [TS]

00:03:57   somebody well I'm the number one return [TS]

00:03:59   on Google or I'm on the first page of [TS]

00:04:01   Google or here of course this is the [TS]

00:04:02   correct answer because it's on the first [TS]

00:04:04   page of Google and everybody's got it in [TS]

00:04:06   the same position I think that's what it [TS]

00:04:07   was for a long time and people still do [TS]

00:04:09   that today where they're like oh my god [TS]

00:04:11   check out check out my suggestions for [TS]

00:04:13   blood of blood of blah like how do I [TS]

00:04:15   find hand-tied porn [TS]

00:04:16   what is hentai important is the more [TS]

00:04:18   hentai porn like oh my God look all this [TS]

00:04:20   hentai foreign stuff it's like dude [TS]

00:04:21   [Laughter] [TS]

00:04:28   - well it's I why should I worry what [TS]

00:04:33   happens to be quick on that I don't know [TS]

00:04:35   I'll find out what should I worry [TS]

00:04:37   Oh might because one time I googled for [TS]

00:04:41   the lyrics to a hard day's night no why [TS]

00:04:46   should I moon it's a Billy Joel song [TS]

00:04:49   from the movie Oliver & Company which [TS]

00:04:50   appears to be a an animated film oh and [TS]

00:04:53   there's a dog with a necklace of hot [TS]

00:04:55   dogs is that is that a movie that I [TS]

00:04:58   missed loving company I don't think oh [TS]

00:05:01   that one why should I worry [TS]

00:05:03   oh she worries a song featured in [TS]

00:05:05   Disney's Oliver & Company it's sung by [TS]

00:05:07   Dodger song is a wonderfully upbeat way [TS]

00:05:10   to introduce the streetwise dog from New [TS]

00:05:11   York City um he'll tell a little bit of [TS]

00:05:13   POV there one the Disney Wicky Disney [TS]

00:05:18   wiki it's a comedy comedy drama on a man [TS]

00:05:23   but also an animate okay let me say the [TS]

00:05:27   whole thing yeah 1988 American animated [TS]

00:05:30   musical comedy-drama film 1988 was the - [TS]

00:05:37   oh here it is it's an it's a the film is [TS]

00:05:39   inspired it features dogs with hot dog [TS]

00:05:41   necklaces but it was inspired by Oliver [TS]

00:05:44   Twist oh that's nice yeah that's nice [TS]

00:05:47   did you have it you figure who should be [TS]

00:05:53   the voice of dog doo Fagin torch song [TS]

00:06:00   trilogy [TS]

00:06:00   Oh Harvey Fierstein hurry fire spine [TS]

00:06:06   hang on I'm not really quite awake yet [TS]

00:06:09   I'm kind of awake I'm in same boat you [TS]

00:06:12   know what you know what happened to me [TS]

00:06:13   this morning [TS]

00:06:14   no what happened well other than reading [TS]

00:06:18   about the train crash that happened in [TS]

00:06:19   my in my neighborhood another one who [TS]

00:06:21   told you about it you were the one that [TS]

00:06:22   told me you shit dog I'm sorry no it's [TS]

00:06:24   all right I had been awake for [TS]

00:06:26   11d seconds and you were like [TS]

00:06:29   man that train crash am i right yeah I [TS]

00:06:31   said I think I said that is something [TS]

00:06:33   that Amtrak crash will sure fucked up I [TS]

00:06:35   was like oh great let's see what this is [TS]

00:06:40   all about and I learned a lot but also [TS]

00:06:43   then I called I called an an auto [TS]

00:06:46   detailer because you know I had a little [TS]

00:06:49   bit of a truck fire last week I'm [TS]

00:06:51   writing that down [TS]

00:06:52   okay and I called this auto detailer [TS]

00:06:55   because I because I was like hey guys [TS]

00:06:59   the guy answers you know I'm like hey [TS]

00:07:01   I've got a little bit of a thing your [TS]

00:07:04   your truck detailing your car detailing [TS]

00:07:06   place comes highly recommended by a [TS]

00:07:08   friend of mine would you deal with a [TS]

00:07:13   truck that had a caught on fire and then [TS]

00:07:16   be the fire had been put out with a with [TS]

00:07:20   like kind of the worst kind of chemical [TS]

00:07:22   fire extinguisher he's like one of the [TS]

00:07:25   surveys you can how would you describe [TS]

00:07:27   your enthusiasm to clean up a little bit [TS]

00:07:30   of a truck fire would you say you're [TS]

00:07:32   somewhat super fucking pumped you know [TS]

00:07:38   blesses bless his little heart yeah okay [TS]

00:07:46   all right what do you say wait you set [TS]

00:07:49   it up you kind of already yeah what are [TS]

00:07:53   you gonna do you know like yeah you're [TS]

00:07:55   you are a detailer right am i right [TS]

00:07:57   that's right there in your it's right [TS]

00:07:59   there in your thing and he's like yeah I [TS]

00:08:02   mean you know we should probably do a [TS]

00:08:04   test test on it to see you see how well [TS]

00:08:09   our does it paints image no not that [TS]

00:08:13   kind of truck fire the other kind of [TS]

00:08:18   there's a lot of kinds of trial it's [TS]

00:08:20   like that William James thing the [TS]

00:08:21   varieties of a bit of a truck fire [TS]

00:08:23   that's right and situation no that's the [TS]

00:08:28   thing it did not it was a well it's what [TS]

00:08:30   we call it in the business a - fire a - [TS]

00:08:34   fire it was in the interior was an [TS]

00:08:36   interior fire not the kind of fire [TS]

00:08:39   necessarily that you want [TS]

00:08:41   oh but there's really you know no truck [TS]

00:08:44   fire that you're looking for it's not a [TS]

00:08:46   thing where you're like oh I hope I get [TS]

00:08:48   a truck fire today [TS]

00:08:49   I don't know if you got a personnel like [TS]

00:08:51   mine you're pretty excited to make a [TS]

00:08:52   fire starting ah finally [TS]

00:08:55   finally I'm here and I prevented it hey [TS]

00:08:57   you know I did today I prevented a fire [TS]

00:08:59   the fire I'm always worried is gonna [TS]

00:09:01   happen [TS]

00:09:01   did you please unpleasant please plug [TS]

00:09:04   the hot glue gun when you're done it's [TS]

00:09:06   very important no one's in the house [TS]

00:09:08   right you're just you're just shouting [TS]

00:09:10   this to the cast in this case the truck [TS]

00:09:15   caught on fire as I was driving and [TS]

00:09:17   unfortunately on the freeway which is a [TS]

00:09:20   bad place but I was able to get the [TS]

00:09:23   truck off the freeway and I was you know [TS]

00:09:27   at this point I was going as my dad [TS]

00:09:30   would say huckle T buck I was going [TS]

00:09:32   huffily buck I was like we're fine we're [TS]

00:09:39   fine everything's cool we're gonna this [TS]

00:09:41   is no problem [TS]

00:09:42   but then there was a guy that was on the [TS]

00:09:44   ramp ahead of me that was going a little [TS]

00:09:45   bit too slowly and that then I was doing [TS]

00:09:47   that thing when I was talking to him [TS]

00:09:48   like let's go buddy let's go let's go [TS]

00:09:50   trucks on fire keep moving keep moving [TS]

00:09:52   to get out of the way and I got around [TS]

00:09:54   him and I got to a gas station slash [TS]

00:09:57   convenience store or I often go for [TS]

00:10:00   breakfast chicken strips practice [TS]

00:10:02   practice chicken strips and I pull up [TS]

00:10:05   out front and I run in and there's a [TS]

00:10:09   woman stocking some juice and I said do [TS]

00:10:14   you have a fire extinguisher and she [TS]

00:10:17   said yes right this way and then [TS]

00:10:20   proceeded to walk pretty darn casually [TS]

00:10:25   to the front of the store go to the [TS]

00:10:27   other end to the store and I was like [TS]

00:10:29   come on come on come on come on come on [TS]

00:10:30   come on just you could just tell me [TS]

00:10:32   where it is you could just tell me where [TS]

00:10:33   it is and but she walked me up there and [TS]

00:10:35   she pointed at this thing that was [TS]

00:10:37   mounted on the wall and I grabbed it [TS]

00:10:40   like I was about to go put out a fire [TS]

00:10:41   which I was and ran all the way like [TS]

00:10:45   sprinted through the store like and it [TS]

00:10:47   was it was really kind of war movie like [TS]

00:10:49   I pulled the pin and threw the pin [TS]

00:10:51   across the floor jumped in slow motion [TS]

00:10:56   come out and so there's my truck with [TS]

00:10:59   the door open and the you know the smoke [TS]

00:11:02   just pouring out of the dashboard shit [TS]

00:11:05   coming coming out of all the heater [TS]

00:11:07   vents coming out of everything but no [TS]

00:11:10   like I don't see like its it has not yet [TS]

00:11:12   gone like and so I don't I want to do [TS]

00:11:17   your story here but just so you're [TS]

00:11:18   driving along and was there an open [TS]

00:11:21   flame that you could see or was there [TS]

00:11:22   smoke coming out well what happened I'm [TS]

00:11:24   driving along I'm like what's that smell [TS]

00:11:27   smells like smells like hot plastic but [TS]

00:11:30   there's no plastic in my truck like [TS]

00:11:33   there's hardly any plastic at all it's [TS]

00:11:35   not a thing where it's like oh the thing [TS]

00:11:37   is hot it's like plastic I never smell [TS]

00:11:40   any plastic any obviously there's [TS]

00:11:42   plastic in the truck but like hot [TS]

00:11:44   plastic so I'm looking around and I'm [TS]

00:11:46   like did did did the baby lean something [TS]

00:11:49   up against something is there a vent [TS]

00:11:50   blocked or something and then the hot [TS]

00:11:54   plastic smell gets stronger and so I [TS]

00:11:57   turn on the heater or I turn on the vet [TS]

00:11:59   the the fan and roll the window down to [TS]

00:12:02   blow the the hot plastic smell out of [TS]

00:12:05   whatever it is and in turning on the fan [TS]

00:12:08   then all of a sudden I get like burning [TS]

00:12:12   plastic smell and and then just smoke [TS]

00:12:17   starts pouring out of the the vents I [TS]

00:12:21   would be so Huckle debuck at that point [TS]

00:12:23   really moving at this point that is that [TS]

00:12:26   is like contraindicated [TS]

00:12:30   and move and move and move in huckle the [TS]

00:12:34   buckin and then I and then as I move and [TS]

00:12:38   so then I shut down the fan right [TS]

00:12:40   because no thank you [TS]

00:12:43   whatever that whatever that did that's [TS]

00:12:45   not what I wanted but then too late [TS]

00:12:47   buddy like whatever the thing however it [TS]

00:12:50   is that you set your your truck on fire [TS]

00:12:52   it's not going out just by turning the [TS]

00:12:54   fan off [TS]

00:12:56   so when I came out with this fire [TS]

00:12:58   extinguisher I didn't read the fire [TS]

00:13:00   extinguisher I was like is this one of [TS]

00:13:02   these modern fire extinguishers or is [TS]

00:13:04   this one of these ones that is like [TS]

00:13:06   awful and I and I ball hit hit hit it [TS]

00:13:12   and it was like oh no this is one of [TS]

00:13:15   those awful awful awful awful ones [TS]

00:13:17   because the fire extinguisher went into [TS]

00:13:19   the truck [TS]

00:13:20   and you know the like cloud and then it [TS]

00:13:24   immediately like immediately went to [TS]

00:13:27   every single corner of the truck and [TS]

00:13:28   came out and felt like I had been hit [TS]

00:13:31   with tear gas what's up and so I popped [TS]

00:13:34   the hood because I don't know where the [TS]

00:13:36   fire is coming from shot the hood it's [TS]

00:13:37   not under them it's not under the hood [TS]

00:13:38   it's not in the motor so I go back [TS]

00:13:41   around the other side and and there's [TS]

00:13:43   still smoke pouring out and I kind of [TS]

00:13:44   hit it hit it again from the passenger [TS]

00:13:47   side a - and as happens in things like [TS]

00:13:52   this there's kind of suddenly a guy [TS]

00:13:55   standing there who's just like hands in [TS]

00:13:59   pockets guy who's saying but looks like [TS]

00:14:03   looks like there's a little bit over [TS]

00:14:05   there you should you know like check [TS]

00:14:07   this one out over here and he's kind of [TS]

00:14:10   spotting for me I guess and also kind of [TS]

00:14:14   running a commentary like boy man I I'm [TS]

00:14:19   a classic car guy myself so I've been in [TS]

00:14:21   your situation before and I'm like huh [TS]

00:14:22   haha he's like yeah I used to have a [TS]

00:14:26   Volkswagen and had a it had a motor up [TS]

00:14:29   in the front that was like a vent motor [TS]

00:14:30   and it caught on fire one time but [TS]

00:14:32   burned it to the ground and I'm like [TS]

00:14:34   he's just kind of following me around [TS]

00:14:36   like telling me all about all the cars [TS]

00:14:39   he's had that have caught on fire you [TS]

00:14:41   know and I'm in the middle of putting [TS]

00:14:43   out this fire like this isn't a [TS]

00:14:44   conversation we're having [TS]

00:14:46   after those have a little focus to the [TS]

00:14:49   situation well but it was it actually [TS]

00:14:51   you know it was he was fairly helpful in [TS]

00:14:54   that he was he was kind of pointing out [TS]

00:14:56   like you know what if I were you I'd put [TS]

00:14:59   it up and get it up under the dash there [TS]

00:15:01   over on the left-hand side I'm like [TS]

00:15:02   uh-huh thank you thanks very much he's [TS]

00:15:04   like I think I see a little bit of smoke [TS]

00:15:05   coming but then he's still filled he's [TS]

00:15:07   filling in and he [TS]

00:15:09   and what's funny is I don't think of him [TS]

00:15:10   now when I think back at him I don't [TS]

00:15:13   think of him isn't like an over [TS]

00:15:14   talkative guy he was just getting all [TS]

00:15:17   this information into a very intense [TS]

00:15:20   little 10-minute period that we spent [TS]

00:15:22   together yeah and he made me feel you [TS]

00:15:25   know he made me feel good in in that I [TS]

00:15:27   didn't burn the truck down but he also [TS]

00:15:30   was the first one of what became many [TS]

00:15:34   people saying oh man those those fire [TS]

00:15:38   extinguishers are the worst [TS]

00:15:39   well okay so Wow a lot of angles here [TS]

00:15:42   well what was it about this fire [TS]

00:15:43   extinguisher that was no good [TS]

00:15:44   well they've improved fire extinguisher [TS]

00:15:47   technology considerably and now they use [TS]

00:15:50   fire extinguishers that just like throw [TS]

00:15:53   a bunch of co2 on the fire and oh they [TS]

00:15:57   like choke it yeah smother it with some [TS]

00:16:01   other yeah with B with the for a fire to [TS]

00:16:04   happen what you got to have heat you got [TS]

00:16:06   to have fuel and you got to have oxygen [TS]

00:16:09   oxygen [TS]

00:16:10   you got a Robert of something and so [TS]

00:16:12   these new fire extinguishers they're [TS]

00:16:14   expensive mm-hmm which is funny because [TS]

00:16:16   it's not like co2 is expensive I'm on [TS]

00:16:18   Amazon right now but that's how they get [TS]

00:16:20   yeah oh my god I know you know and so [TS]

00:16:26   the co2 when you put out the fire it's [TS]

00:16:30   it's very benign right just like whereas [TS]

00:16:34   these old ones they're made with this [TS]

00:16:36   sort of silicate kind of like tiny micro [TS]

00:16:44   powder that's meant to go everywhere and [TS]

00:16:48   it's meant to it's a good tool yeah it's [TS]

00:16:52   meant to create this like oxygen-free [TS]

00:16:54   environment by virtue of filling it with [TS]

00:16:57   this kind of like yellow noxious silicon [TS]

00:17:04   powder that is like caustic right it's [TS]

00:17:11   like it [TS]

00:17:12   it burns paint it burns your lungs it [TS]

00:17:17   burns your eyes at [TS]

00:17:18   and I mean it is everywhere in the truck [TS]

00:17:23   if you go back to the very very farthest [TS]

00:17:25   back corner of the truck and lift up a [TS]

00:17:27   piece of paper it will be under the it's [TS]

00:17:29   just you know whatever it's a it's a [TS]

00:17:32   miracle substance but it also has done [TS]

00:17:36   at least as much damage as the fire and [TS]

00:17:41   if you I can't imagine doing it in your [TS]

00:17:43   house you would have to have a hazmat [TS]

00:17:45   team come in so whatever the cost of co2 [TS]

00:17:49   fire extinguishers it's more than worth [TS]

00:17:51   it and here's the bummer [TS]

00:17:53   I had a co2 fire extinguisher that I [TS]

00:17:56   purchased for this very reason yes [TS]

00:17:58   because I'm driving a 40-year old truck [TS]

00:18:00   and it was in the truck and I had been [TS]

00:18:05   meaning to mount it in like that sort of [TS]

00:18:08   cool dude way where you mount a fire [TS]

00:18:11   extinguisher in the cabin of your cool [TS]

00:18:12   truck sure yeah that makes him more like [TS]

00:18:14   a boat it's so much more like a boat and [TS]

00:18:19   and then I never got around to mounting [TS]

00:18:22   it and then the fire extinguisher was [TS]

00:18:24   kind of rolling around in the truck and [TS]

00:18:27   then at some point I was cleaning out [TS]

00:18:31   the truck to get ready to go on some [TS]

00:18:35   trip or something called the whole my [TS]

00:18:39   mom's new couch or haul some old [TS]

00:18:41   refrigerator or whatever and the fire [TS]

00:18:45   extinguisher got swept up in a big arm [TS]

00:18:47   load of like oh that's a sweater and a [TS]

00:18:52   couple of coffee cups and uh and for [TS]

00:18:55   magazines and it's on your mind the [TS]

00:18:58   thing on your mind is I gotta get the [TS]

00:18:59   car cleaned out gotta clean out the car [TS]

00:19:01   yeah and so I not having mounted this [TS]

00:19:04   fire extinguisher I cleaned it out into [TS]

00:19:07   a pile and the fire extinguisher is [TS]

00:19:08   sitting in the barn right now so Dini [TS]

00:19:12   get there no and as I was driving I was [TS]

00:19:14   like I got a fire extinguisher it's just [TS]

00:19:16   red should be right here it should be [TS]

00:19:17   and I'm reaching where I should have [TS]

00:19:19   mounted [TS]

00:19:20   like it's right here it's sighs oh fuck [TS]

00:19:24   it's not right there so I learned a lot [TS]

00:19:28   of lessons but so I called the Detailers [TS]

00:19:31   and I was like will you do this will you [TS]

00:19:33   do this job I mean this is somewhere [TS]

00:19:35   between car detailing and like crime [TS]

00:19:37   scene mitigating yeah right so yeah boy [TS]

00:19:42   you're you got your good it makes me [TS]

00:19:44   wonder what's gonna happen next [TS]

00:19:45   so you got smoke it's stinky in your car [TS]

00:19:49   right mm-hmm stinky plus now you got you [TS]

00:19:52   got fire extinguisher stuff right that's [TS]

00:19:55   the two major things you're dealing with [TS]

00:19:56   well the the what I consider to be the [TS]

00:20:01   major thing that I'm dealing with is [TS]

00:20:02   that there was a fire behind the - [TS]

00:20:05   caused by something and so I took it to [TS]

00:20:11   my guy my mechanic everybody's got to [TS]

00:20:15   have a mechanic you know my dad my dad [TS]

00:20:17   we have a 40 year old yeah Chuck my dad [TS]

00:20:21   had a lawyer a secretary a mechanic a [TS]

00:20:24   doctor a cardiologist an accountant and [TS]

00:20:29   he knew all these people by names an [TS]

00:20:30   insurance agent and he would go by their [TS]

00:20:33   offices and he'd sit there and they'd [TS]

00:20:36   see each other at rotary meetings I know [TS]

00:20:37   he had an airplane mechanic he did have [TS]

00:20:39   an airplane mechanic you know like he [TS]

00:20:42   had his people he had his there was the [TS]

00:20:44   woman at the film stop that delivered [TS]

00:20:45   that developed his film he knew [TS]

00:20:48   everybody and for me it's just like oh I [TS]

00:20:51   got some stuff I send it off to somebody [TS]

00:20:54   I get an email from there but I but I'm [TS]

00:20:56   trying to build up I'm trying to build [TS]

00:20:58   up these relationships I have to booking [TS]

00:20:59   agents now but I do have a mechanic and [TS]

00:21:04   I take the mic in my mechanic and [TS]

00:21:05   actually I have two mechanics and both [TS]

00:21:07   of them are practitioners of the style [TS]

00:21:10   of being a mechanic that I really [TS]

00:21:11   appreciate which is that most of the [TS]

00:21:15   time their answer is that's not that big [TS]

00:21:17   of a deal oh it's fine it will you know [TS]

00:21:21   just I mean you could replace the timing [TS]

00:21:26   chain but I wouldn't you know they give [TS]

00:21:28   that kind of advice I love that kind [TS]

00:21:29   which is like all right boy is it like [TS]

00:21:32   there's like you know how I can [TS]

00:21:33   in the world of environmental [TS]

00:21:35   remediation you've got like a assessment [TS]

00:21:37   and then you got remediation sort of [TS]

00:21:40   it's along the lines of having two kids [TS]

00:21:41   and you know one slices in one chooses [TS]

00:21:44   you know you don't enrich yourself you [TS]

00:21:47   know I'm saying you yeah my place I used [TS]

00:21:49   to work we had a little more credibility [TS]

00:21:50   in these kinds of things because we [TS]

00:21:52   didn't do any remediation so we had [TS]

00:21:53   nothing to gain by giving you a certain [TS]

00:21:55   price tag for fixing it up [TS]

00:21:58   I think you almost need two of [TS]

00:21:59   everything you do you know well and [TS]

00:22:02   because prisoner's dilemma you could do [TS]

00:22:04   that with your cardiologist you could do [TS]

00:22:06   that with your with your detailer you [TS]

00:22:09   know I mean you tell me what do you what [TS]

00:22:11   do you think about what they said what [TS]

00:22:12   do you think about what they say mm-hmm [TS]

00:22:14   my two mechanics are they fall into two [TS]

00:22:16   categories one guy does not want your [TS]

00:22:20   truck sitting around at his place mm-hmm [TS]

00:22:24   he is doing a booming business of [TS]

00:22:26   changing people's oil and like a [TS]

00:22:30   printing press only makes money when [TS]

00:22:32   it's running right and he's you know [TS]

00:22:34   he'll throw your he'll throw your car up [TS]

00:22:36   on a on the diagnostic thing and it'll [TS]

00:22:39   come up with you know the computer will [TS]

00:22:41   give him four codes where he's like oh [TS]

00:22:44   you know it looks like your main bearing [TS]

00:22:47   is out and he'll and the thing will go [TS]

00:22:51   up and he'll like I mean he can take a [TS]

00:22:54   motor apart he's know he's not a bad [TS]

00:22:55   mechanic but he's just because you can [TS]

00:22:58   do open-heart surgery doesn't mean you [TS]

00:23:00   should yeah it's a park type situation [TS]

00:23:03   he's got like three guys working for him [TS]

00:23:05   and they're pulling stretching he's [TS]

00:23:07   managing what he's doing is he is he [TS]

00:23:09   walks around with a with a like a [TS]

00:23:11   spelunker z' light on his head he he is [TS]

00:23:16   he is ready he is a Palestinian and he's [TS]

00:23:20   a member of a kind of very strange what [TS]

00:23:23   I was considered to be he's like him [TS]

00:23:27   he's a he's a he's Muslim but he's a [TS]

00:23:30   member of a kind of apocalyptic second [TS]

00:23:33   coming [TS]

00:23:34   it's just the mechanic who's giving you [TS]

00:23:37   the pitch in the past for something [TS]

00:23:41   system the pitching mechanic bends you [TS]

00:23:46   hear about the [TS]

00:23:47   you need to get with yeah yeah yeah this [TS]

00:23:50   is that's thought that's the one his [TS]

00:23:52   name is Dan and he I mean that's not [TS]

00:23:56   typically a Palestinian name but it [TS]

00:23:59   might be short for Daniel or I mean I [TS]

00:24:01   guess Dan is short for Daniel right it's [TS]

00:24:03   not short for dama --then this episode [TS]

00:24:07   roderick on the line is brought to you [TS]

00:24:09   in part by Squarespace you can learn [TS]

00:24:11   more about Squarespace right now by [TS]

00:24:13   visiting Squarespace calm so many things [TS]

00:24:16   you can do with Squarespace you can [TS]

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00:24:34   with Squarespace [TS]

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00:25:10   are encouraging folks to just go out and [TS]

00:25:12   make it I'm a huge fan of Squarespace in [TS]

00:25:15   the very Roderick online podcast that [TS]

00:25:17   you are listening to right this moment [TS]

00:25:18   is hosted on Squarespace I've been with [TS]

00:25:19   them with year for years and I'm just a [TS]

00:25:22   huge fan so please go join us head out [TS]

00:25:24   to Squarespace calm for a free trial and [TS]

00:25:27   when you're ready to launch use the [TS]

00:25:29   offer code supertrain that'll give you [TS]

00:25:31   10% off your first purchase of a website [TS]

00:25:33   or domain squarespace.com our thanks to [TS]

00:25:36   Squarespace for supporting roderick on [TS]

00:25:38   the line and all the great shows [TS]

00:25:44   [Laughter] [TS]

00:25:49   [Music] [TS]

00:25:55   latte latte for Daniel all due respect [TS]

00:26:13   I'm sure the guy does good work every [TS]

00:26:14   time I see that I go wow that's the [TS]

00:26:16   worst name I've ever heard Daniel tell [TS]

00:26:19   you what the teeth his name's Daniel [TS]

00:26:21   name Daniel Oh Jonathan so Dan believes [TS]

00:26:38   he said to me the last time I was there [TS]

00:26:40   because that you know he gets a look in [TS]

00:26:41   his eye and I always know that that's [TS]

00:26:44   for me to get going so he was like you [TS]

00:26:47   know this whole Trump and Jerusalem [TS]

00:26:49   thing I was like oh boy boy what what he [TS]

00:26:53   said it's a great thing interesting [TS]

00:26:55   because it brings the motherfucking [TS]

00:26:57   Rockets yeah because they want they want [TS]

00:27:05   the own everything do they they want the [TS]

00:27:07   like Charles Manson they want things to [TS]

00:27:09   blow up it's the same the world burn [TS]

00:27:11   that's that's with n ice and I accused [TS]

00:27:13   him of that I was like yeah then you are [TS]

00:27:19   a Palestinian Muslim and you're telling [TS]

00:27:21   me that Trump making Jerusalem the [TS]

00:27:24   capital city of Israel yeah is a good [TS]

00:27:27   thing for you because why and he's like [TS]

00:27:30   because it's gonna bring the and I was [TS]

00:27:32   like a stop right there it's gonna bring [TS]

00:27:40   two-state solution like what bring [TS]

00:27:44   riders on on white steeds what is it [TS]

00:27:48   bringing and he was like uh and he [TS]

00:27:50   starts to go you know he's like you know [TS]

00:27:52   people are people are criticizing Trump [TS]

00:27:54   but he's actually our guy that's like [TS]

00:27:56   all right okay all right okay and he you [TS]

00:28:00   know and he he pulls his pulls his speed [TS]

00:28:03   lunker light up a little bit so it's not [TS]

00:28:04   shining in my eyes [TS]

00:28:06   really really really want to talk to me [TS]

00:28:07   about you think you're the only person [TS]

00:28:11   you think this is the first time this [TS]

00:28:14   guy's a Salesman he's the salesman of [TS]

00:28:15   the month he's been through there's so [TS]

00:28:17   many times he knows how to overcome [TS]

00:28:19   objections he knows to use your name to [TS]

00:28:21   get you in the habit of saying yes is he [TS]

00:28:23   selling you in Apocalypse yep now you're [TS]

00:28:26   on the hook now you're asking what color [TS]

00:28:27   is this apocalypse come in change the [TS]

00:28:29   clutch on that Honda Civic and leave me [TS]

00:28:32   out of your story and he but I love him [TS]

00:28:34   you know I love him but so my other [TS]

00:28:38   mechanic Clint does not care if my truck [TS]

00:28:44   is there at his space he's he will do [TS]

00:28:52   long form deep dives one time I took the [TS]

00:28:56   took the truck to him and I was like [TS]

00:28:57   something's wrong it smells like gas [TS]

00:29:00   he's like hmm he got in and he was like [TS]

00:29:04   it doesn't know like gas and he started [TS]

00:29:07   to troubleshoot it and and he worked on [TS]

00:29:11   it for a while and he was like well I [TS]

00:29:13   checked the fuel tank I checked the all [TS]

00:29:15   the fuel lines I'm under the hood I [TS]

00:29:18   can't really get it to can't really get [TS]

00:29:20   it to duplicate this problem and it was [TS]

00:29:22   kind of hot and in the summer and then [TS]

00:29:24   he left it alone for a day or two and [TS]

00:29:26   then he came back and he was like it [TS]

00:29:27   really smells like gas and I was like I [TS]

00:29:30   know and oh and one time he was like I [TS]

00:29:31   can't there's nothing wrong with it and [TS]

00:29:33   I got in it and drove it for a day and [TS]

00:29:34   then I came back and was like look I [TS]

00:29:36   can't drive this thing it's like it [TS]

00:29:38   feels like it's about to explode there's [TS]

00:29:40   raw gas in it he took it back he worked [TS]

00:29:44   on it for another couple of days and [TS]

00:29:45   then he called me and he said I was [TS]

00:29:48   working on your truck really trying to [TS]

00:29:50   dig down on this and I you know I went [TS]

00:29:52   in the back and there was a there was a [TS]

00:29:54   gas can underneath a blanket in the back [TS]

00:29:58   of the truck [TS]

00:29:59   oh so that had been the source of the [TS]

00:30:02   smell yeah it was a hot summer day and [TS]

00:30:05   the gap is venting it was a bad [TS]

00:30:07   situation Occam's razor right yeah [TS]

00:30:10   and you know another truck had been with [TS]

00:30:13   him for five days he was like you know [TS]

00:30:15   no charge yeah but like what are you [TS]

00:30:16   gonna say and I said I mean I said I'll [TS]

00:30:21   give you 50 bucks so anyway I took it do [TS]

00:30:26   you look at the dummy a surcharge can [TS]

00:30:30   you hang on a second I just have one [TS]

00:30:32   little question I need to answer here [TS]

00:30:34   yes darling okay I can't wait to see it [TS]

00:30:47   our CIA CIA our CIA good luck school is [TS]

00:31:08   out yep so much so we are hanging out [TS]

00:31:14   all day every day and she understands [TS]

00:31:17   what podcasting is she has strands that [TS]

00:31:19   dad has as his work but it's very hard [TS]

00:31:22   to leave dad alone oh it's very hard [TS]

00:31:26   last night last night I said I said okay [TS]

00:31:29   girls I'm gonna go in the other room I [TS]

00:31:31   got to get 10 more minutes in my [TS]

00:31:33   meditation I'm gonna go in the other [TS]

00:31:34   room so I'm gonna be meditating there [TS]

00:31:35   I'm not ignoring you I'm doing the [TS]

00:31:37   meditation and like before I could get [TS]

00:31:41   engaged in this my daughter came in and [TS]

00:31:42   asked me how to spell this related thing [TS]

00:31:44   it's goodbye mindfulness practice has [TS]

00:31:46   made it so this makes me not want to [TS]

00:31:48   kick you out the window [TS]

00:31:48   it's not a problem at all it's hard it's [TS]

00:31:51   hard and you know a house a house [TS]

00:31:52   becomes the child's we're getting off [TS]

00:31:54   topic all right so you have two [TS]

00:31:57   different mechanics who both might be in [TS]

00:31:59   the same serial s town style series I'm [TS]

00:32:06   seeing these two guys it starts out we [TS]

00:32:08   don't know that they're involved with [TS]

00:32:09   them we discover there is a link between [TS]

00:32:12   between Dan and Daniel on the one hand [TS]

00:32:15   we got the the austere guy over here [TS]

00:32:17   with the he doesn't want you hanging out [TS]

00:32:18   here he's got the headlamp and over here [TS]

00:32:19   we got more like a guy who likes it's in [TS]

00:32:21   a lazy boy and he'll get it done [TS]

00:32:22   whenever [TS]

00:32:23   right good and whatever and in between [TS]

00:32:25   you got a man with the truck and his [TS]

00:32:26   name is John yes and I sometimes I'll go [TS]

00:32:29   hang out at both of their shops [TS]

00:32:31   depending on what my mood is if I want [TS]

00:32:34   apocalyptic like like evangelical Muslim [TS]

00:32:40   guy I will go hang out with Dan and if I [TS]

00:32:43   want to sit around cuz cuz thing about [TS]

00:32:45   Clint is he's always got Dan never has [TS]

00:32:48   an interesting car in there it's just a [TS]

00:32:49   steady stream of Stalinism w's Toyota's [TS]

00:32:53   you know like he's just running running [TS]

00:32:57   them Clint will sometimes have like a 78 [TS]

00:33:01   Camaro that looks like it was in [TS]

00:33:04   somebody's backyard for ten years I'm [TS]

00:33:07   like I'm like what's the story with this [TS]

00:33:08   and he's like oh well this guy you know [TS]

00:33:10   I gotta fix this thing up and and it's [TS]

00:33:14   always something going on at Quinn's can [TS]

00:33:17   I just ask [TS]

00:33:17   roughly without too much identifying [TS]

00:33:19   information about how old is Clint both [TS]

00:33:23   guys Clint and Dan are about my aides [TS]

00:33:26   okay interesting [TS]

00:33:28   first Reid and this is my own prejudices [TS]

00:33:31   check my privilege I would guess that [TS]

00:33:33   Dan ├íthen that Dan was a younger man I [TS]

00:33:35   would guess Clint was an older than you [TS]

00:33:37   man but now this this you know there's [TS]

00:33:39   not not that many older than us people [TS]

00:33:41   at this point but that's in my head that [TS]

00:33:42   I was imagining it Clint is old-school [TS]

00:33:45   he was a bass player in a punk band he [TS]

00:33:50   you know he came to me through some [TS]

00:33:53   other hotrod friends I have a friend [TS]

00:33:56   named Andrew who moved down to San Diego [TS]

00:33:59   who has a who has like a 66 Econoline [TS]

00:34:07   that's painted with house paint painting [TS]

00:34:15   without a shine to it it's red on the [TS]

00:34:19   bottom and white on the top and he calls [TS]

00:34:21   it the Santa van he has put he has put [TS]

00:34:27   probably conservatively $35,000 into a [TS]

00:34:31   $5,000 van [TS]

00:34:33   like they what this thing is a piece of [TS]

00:34:36   garbage but he has been he babies it [TS]

00:34:39   because he's a motorcycle racer so he [TS]

00:34:40   puts his motorcycles in the back in a [TS]

00:34:42   safe van Santa van is legendary among [TS]

00:34:45   rock and roll guitar players and hot rod [TS]

00:34:49   motorcycle jump er on the west coast cuz [TS]

00:34:52   we've all seen Santa van we've all seen [TS]

00:34:54   Santa van on the side of the road with [TS]

00:34:55   smoke pouring out of it so he's like oh [TS]

00:34:59   you got a you know you got to take it to [TS]

00:35:01   Clint mmm-hmm when I first got my first [TS]

00:35:04   jalopy and Clinton I all will sit up [TS]

00:35:07   there and we'll just talk and and so oh [TS]

00:35:09   so anyway so I take the truck to Clint [TS]

00:35:11   and I'm like because I'm definitely not [TS]

00:35:13   taking it to Dan and Clint's like here's [TS]

00:35:17   his answer he has it for a day and he [TS]

00:35:19   says well look I've been sitting in the [TS]

00:35:22   truck I turned it on I turned the heater [TS]

00:35:24   on high and other than blowing a ton of [TS]

00:35:28   this noxious fire extinguisher garbage [TS]

00:35:31   at me doesn't smell like smoke now so a [TS]

00:35:36   bunch of burned insulation like isn't [TS]

00:35:39   that like pretty legitimately having a [TS]

00:35:40   stroke and then going like well it went [TS]

00:35:41   away I must be good that was what I said [TS]

00:35:44   to him yeah he said a bunch of burned [TS]

00:35:46   insulation and stuff fell out from [TS]

00:35:48   underneath the dash but I feel like I [TS]

00:35:52   think it pretty much got it all out of [TS]

00:35:54   there so I said don't you want to don't [TS]

00:36:00   you want to like take the dash down and [TS]

00:36:02   look and see what happened back there [TS]

00:36:03   and he's like alright oh yeah curious [TS]

00:36:14   man he is curious but he also feels like [TS]

00:36:18   he's you know he's the one that he's [TS]

00:36:20   kind of the if it ain't broke don't fix [TS]

00:36:21   it and if it is broke yeah baby don't [TS]

00:36:25   fix it because the risk assessment it's [TS]

00:36:28   a way of saying like they like me [TS]

00:36:30   famously with the the timing belt that I [TS]

00:36:32   didn't fix in time [TS]

00:36:33   Jerry been telling us for a long time he [TS]

00:36:35   says look you got time you thought issue [TS]

00:36:36   coming you don't have to fix it today [TS]

00:36:37   but it's it's it's not gonna last a year [TS]

00:36:40   and it probably won't last six months [TS]

00:36:42   and when it breaks as my wife has [TS]

00:36:44   reminded me many times in the years [TS]

00:36:45   since when it breaks it's going to be [TS]

00:36:47   very very [TS]

00:36:47   costly and I was like yeah don't like [TS]

00:36:49   we're good yeah [TS]

00:36:51   see now find out a second mechanic and [TS]

00:36:53   you know a third location if I'd had a [TS]

00:36:55   Daniel or AD anathan who could go in and [TS]

00:36:57   say you know buddy like seriously I'm [TS]

00:36:58   down with Jerry two thumbs up [TS]

00:37:00   replace the timing belt Yeah right or do [TS]

00:37:03   you know the question is always like [TS]

00:37:05   when this breaks is it gonna be at a [TS]

00:37:09   time that is convenient to you or is [TS]

00:37:12   this gonna break at an inconvenient time [TS]

00:37:14   how many times when you're in your car [TS]

00:37:16   are you just idly driving and thinking [TS]

00:37:19   gosh that break I hope it's today yeah I [TS]

00:37:22   don't need anything I don't need to be [TS]

00:37:23   anywhere right now [TS]

00:37:26   or is it gonna be a thing where you're [TS]

00:37:27   like five minutes later than already [TS]

00:37:29   it's kind of one of those biases like [TS]

00:37:32   when people say like and I know this has [TS]

00:37:34   been quoted widely but they used to say [TS]

00:37:35   all the time hey you know be extra [TS]

00:37:36   careful most accidents happen within [TS]

00:37:39   five miles of your house and on the face [TS]

00:37:41   of that you go whoa that's shit that's [TS]

00:37:43   crazy it seems like accidents would be [TS]

00:37:44   happening on the highway you're like [TS]

00:37:45   well no like where do you spend 90% of [TS]

00:37:48   your time within five miles of your [TS]

00:37:49   house probably right right situation [TS]

00:37:52   yeah and and in my case I mean [TS]

00:37:55   everywhere in Seattle is my it's my [TS]

00:37:58   backyard right so there's no place here [TS]

00:38:00   where I'm like oh geez oh no I broke [TS]

00:38:02   down over here because I'm sure I have a [TS]

00:38:05   mechanic within five blocks up there [TS]

00:38:06   who's who's like some rock-and-roll [TS]

00:38:08   friend quite an ad-hoc staff going on [TS]

00:38:10   yeah yeah yeah yeah well Clinton Dan [TS]

00:38:12   right I mean all I need is to what I [TS]

00:38:15   need is two executive secretaries one of [TS]

00:38:19   them just to process my my my federal [TS]

00:38:22   pension from when I apparently joined [TS]

00:38:24   the Navy twice oh that's a different [TS]

00:38:27   story that's a whole different story [TS]

00:38:29   okay apparently my dad he joined the [TS]

00:38:32   Navy ROTC when he joined the University [TS]

00:38:35   of Washington oh he's on the books twice [TS]

00:38:37   he joined us David Morgan Roderick [TS]

00:38:40   similar to why I get double jury duty [TS]

00:38:42   hmm I was accidentally registered at two [TS]

00:38:45   addresses there it is so you're to [TS]

00:38:47   Maryland ma'am that's why I was getting [TS]

00:38:48   always with the jury duty so when my dad [TS]

00:38:50   joined the Navy Navy so he didn't know [TS]

00:38:53   the first time that that would qualify [TS]

00:38:54   would qualify as this but putting that [TS]

00:38:58   differently when he actually did enlist [TS]

00:38:59   in the Navy yeah [TS]

00:39:01   a way of knowing oh he was already in [TS]

00:39:03   the Navy I see mm-hmm so then he joined [TS]

00:39:05   the Navy as David Roderick or something [TS]

00:39:07   like that [TS]

00:39:08   David M Roderick and they have and he [TS]

00:39:11   has two numbers so in me so in the 80s [TS]

00:39:16   when my dad's secretary who who went [TS]

00:39:20   above and beyond to care for this man [TS]

00:39:22   said do you have what's your retirement [TS]

00:39:26   plan my dad was like what do you mean [TS]

00:39:28   I'll live forever and she said well why [TS]

00:39:31   don't I figure out what your what your [TS]

00:39:34   plan is she put all put together all [TS]

00:39:36   this government service that he'd done [TS]

00:39:38   and submitted it to the federal [TS]

00:39:41   government to say you know he actually [TS]

00:39:44   qualifies for a federal pension and the [TS]

00:39:47   government came back and said well he [TS]

00:39:48   was only in the Navy from 42 to 46 and [TS]

00:39:54   my dad's like what are you talking about [TS]

00:39:55   the Navy in 39 or whatever oh man yes [TS]

00:39:59   and he had all this stuff where he was [TS]

00:40:01   like look you know they gave me this [TS]

00:40:03   commemorative cup just like under with [TS]

00:40:11   the fact like that under your belt and [TS]

00:40:13   it to you I don't think he would I don't [TS]

00:40:16   think he would like lay that on somebody [TS]

00:40:18   from the Veterans Administration but he [TS]

00:40:21   definitely he definitely had like look [TS]

00:40:23   there's a picture of me at the you know [TS]

00:40:25   and so she went back and did all this [TS]

00:40:28   incredible research that he never would [TS]

00:40:30   have done and discovered this thing like [TS]

00:40:32   oh you know you enlisted at this point [TS]

00:40:34   and so now she's trying to deal with [TS]

00:40:36   this enormous bureaucracy trying to like [TS]

00:40:40   get them to go back to some Indiana [TS]

00:40:43   Jones like filing warehouse uh-huh to [TS]

00:40:47   find the two different files and meet [TS]

00:40:49   them and call them one thing right right [TS]

00:40:52   this goes back to the conversation you [TS]

00:40:54   had many many years ago about how you [TS]

00:40:56   don't like it when people call [TS]

00:40:58   bureaucracy a bad when you don't like [TS]

00:41:01   when people call it bureaucracy a bad [TS]

00:41:02   thing right that like bureaucracy is [TS]

00:41:04   what it fills manhole or fills potholes [TS]

00:41:07   in Romania and what gets your dad's [TS]

00:41:09   Indiana Jones papers found [TS]

00:41:11   burocracy eventually if you can do [TS]

00:41:14   if you have the patience and if you have [TS]

00:41:16   the know-how and so she did it she [TS]

00:41:20   managed to she managed to put this [TS]

00:41:23   together and all of a sudden my dad was [TS]

00:41:25   like wait a minute I can retire you know [TS]

00:41:27   it had never occurred to him and so you [TS]

00:41:32   know I need at least that if not then a [TS]

00:41:36   second executive secretary that also [TS]

00:41:39   cares enough about me to figure out you [TS]

00:41:43   know to figure out like wait a minute [TS]

00:41:44   you have five completed records here I [TS]

00:41:46   do so I get so I call Clint and I say [TS]

00:41:53   I'm gonna come get the truck I'm gonna [TS]

00:41:54   take it down to the Accu tint guys who [TS]

00:41:59   are going to the Accu tint guys who Adam [TS]

00:42:01   Priyanka says are the best Detailers in [TS]

00:42:04   town his fancy car right he does he's a [TS]

00:42:06   car guy and he said look you're gonna [TS]

00:42:08   roll it in there and these guys are all [TS]

00:42:10   gonna gather around your truck and [TS]

00:42:11   they're gonna laugh at you because it's [TS]

00:42:13   that kind of place and they're gonna [TS]

00:42:15   make you feel like you're dumb fire [TS]

00:42:18   extinguisher problem is like the [TS]

00:42:20   funniest thing they've seen in weeks [TS]

00:42:21   scripts also get one of those that's the [TS]

00:42:23   time with folks like there's gonna be a [TS]

00:42:27   lot of there's gonna be a lot of [TS]

00:42:28   high-fiving but they're gonna do a great [TS]

00:42:30   job they're just gonna raise you and I [TS]

00:42:32   was like look man I love getting hazed [TS]

00:42:34   by dudes in in like boiler suits that [TS]

00:42:39   have their name embroidered on it like I [TS]

00:42:41   fucking love it oh that's a good roast [TS]

00:42:43   if you're gonna get roasted it might as [TS]

00:42:44   well via those guys I eat it up and the [TS]

00:42:46   thing is I'm really good at standing [TS]

00:42:48   there playing the dumb cock I'll just be [TS]

00:42:50   like I don't know guys are just hooks [TS]

00:42:54   and then they hit me you know from all [TS]

00:42:56   sides and I'm like dog derp and they put [TS]

00:42:59   a bunch of bars of soap in a pillowcase [TS]

00:43:00   and they're nailing me and I'm like guys [TS]

00:43:04   it's fun for everybody right yeah but so [TS]

00:43:09   I so I call Clinton I'm like I'm coming [TS]

00:43:11   to get the truck and he's like a problem [TS]

00:43:12   I there's a slow bleed your battery was [TS]

00:43:20   run down this morning and it shouldn't [TS]

00:43:22   have been so I hooked up the I hooked up [TS]

00:43:23   my electrical testers and I realize now [TS]

00:43:25   that [TS]

00:43:26   the electric rear window and the heater [TS]

00:43:29   motor are both drawing power when [TS]

00:43:32   they're off but also if I turn the truck [TS]

00:43:34   off they both will work for a while and [TS]

00:43:37   I said Nicholas this seems that seems [TS]

00:43:41   important this seems important and he [TS]

00:43:43   was like I think what happened is that [TS]

00:43:44   some plastic insulation in the wiring [TS]

00:43:48   melted and now there's some crossover oh [TS]

00:43:51   yeah that crossover crossover so the [TS]

00:43:56   thing is the whole time that he'd been [TS]

00:43:57   saying seems like the problem fixed [TS]

00:43:59   itself [TS]

00:43:59   I had secretly been thinking and not [TS]

00:44:03   secretly because I also said it to him [TS]

00:44:05   out loud I think you should take the [TS]

00:44:08   dash down and look behind it right to [TS]

00:44:11   see what's going on and he was like well [TS]

00:44:14   I mean you know sometimes things happen [TS]

00:44:16   probably what happened is your [TS]

00:44:17   insulation got caught in there and now [TS]

00:44:20   it burned up and it's fine curious give [TS]

00:44:26   him the man's job what an imperious [TS]

00:44:28   attitude he has well you know he it [TS]

00:44:32   wasn't an interesting enough problem for [TS]

00:44:33   him no I think that he I think that he [TS]

00:44:36   liked a lot of people and myself [TS]

00:44:38   included feel like what can go wrong in [TS]

00:44:40   these trucks it's only got five wires [TS]

00:44:44   but I really you know I wanted that I [TS]

00:44:47   wanted that - pulled down so now he's [TS]

00:44:50   now he's curious and he was like this is [TS]

00:44:53   interesting this is certainly a problem [TS]

00:44:55   I can't send you out of here with but [TS]

00:44:57   also like I want to see what I want to [TS]

00:44:59   see what's going on now so I got to call [TS]

00:45:04   the Accu tint guys back and say look [TS]

00:45:06   dude's got a push [TS]

00:45:08   I got a push back cuz Clint's going in [TS]

00:45:11   and it's anything can happen day and as [TS]

00:45:15   you and I were podcasting I got a call [TS]

00:45:17   that popped up on my computer because [TS]

00:45:19   for somehow my computer is connected to [TS]

00:45:22   my phone and when people call me on my [TS]

00:45:24   phone it comes up on my computer yes yes [TS]

00:45:27   on my FaceTime [TS]

00:45:28   [Music] [TS]

00:45:35   yeah I got a call from a damn my phone [TS]

00:45:40   rings as I'm talking to you and it's Dan [TS]

00:45:42   calling it's dan from community [TS]

00:45:44   automotive and I'm like damn why are you [TS]

00:45:46   calling me but I couldn't answer mmm [TS]

00:45:48   podcasting they'll call them call them [TS]

00:45:50   on the air [TS]

00:45:51   Oh bad that's weird we shouldn't do that [TS]

00:45:55   well no I dams not gonna care it'll be [TS]

00:45:57   one more opportunity for him to explain [TS]

00:45:59   that the apocalypse is coming it's good [TS]

00:46:00   it's good news what happening let me [TS]

00:46:03   give Dan a call okay hang on this [TS]

00:46:06   episode of Roderick on the line is [TS]

00:46:07   brought to you in part by Casper learn [TS]

00:46:10   more about Casper right now by visiting [TS]

00:46:12   Casper comm slash supertrain Casper is [TS]

00:46:15   the company focused on sleep and they're [TS]

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00:46:21   spent a third of your life sleeping if [TS]

00:46:23   you spent a third of your life doing [TS]

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00:46:26   best as it can possibly be and that's [TS]

00:46:27   why you need Casper Casper mattresses [TS]

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00:47:23   I'm away I miss my Casper mattress I [TS]

00:47:25   want to be back on it again so please [TS]

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00:47:42   our thanks to Casper for sporting rutter [TS]

00:47:44   on the line and all the great [TS]

00:47:46   and we're back right now dan has right [TS]

00:47:51   now dan has the Jetta and so it sounds [TS]

00:47:59   like the force has the Jetta all right [TS]

00:48:04   here we go okay can you hear it ringing [TS]

00:48:08   no all right it's ringing I can't hear [TS]

00:48:16   it but oh you know you let me know [TS]

00:48:18   hey Dan it's John hi buddy is that right [TS]

00:48:24   what was it the ignition coil did what [TS]

00:48:32   mm-hmm yeah [TS]

00:48:39   three coils in the module okay [TS]

00:48:47   - oh so fully two cylinders weren't [TS]

00:48:50   firing well I'm grateful to you you're [TS]

00:48:56   you're a special man yeah I know I know [TS]

00:49:00   in and out and you didn't you didn't [TS]

00:49:02   like you didn't damage anything that you [TS]

00:49:04   need to you need to have it for a couple [TS]

00:49:07   of days to fix it I'm kidding [TS]

00:49:12   oh yeah yeah [TS]

00:49:28   Wow well you're a miracle I'm gonna come [TS]

00:49:35   see you in a couple hours all right fine [TS]

00:49:40   oh I give him the business sometimes but [TS]

00:49:44   he gives me a lot of sure you give as [TS]

00:49:46   good as you get so it's fully fully two [TS]

00:49:48   cylinders huh [TS]

00:49:48   so the ignition coil you know the [TS]

00:49:51   ignition coils got a little module and [TS]

00:49:53   it's got three coils in there cuz it's [TS]

00:49:55   six cylinder car okay and one of the [TS]

00:49:58   coils had burned out and so two of the [TS]

00:50:00   cylinders weren't firing and let me tell [TS]

00:50:02   you when you're driving a six cylinder [TS]

00:50:03   car that has two cylinders out it's not [TS]

00:50:06   a it's not a smooth motor such a tight [TS]

00:50:09   it's a Jetta yeah I inherited this [TS]

00:50:12   that's a sedan that's a four-door [TS]

00:50:13   supported or four-door Jenna but it'll [TS]

00:50:16   call we had a Jetta for a good long time [TS]

00:50:18   Oh your Jetta was amazing no I'm just [TS]

00:50:20   sorry we have a different shadow this is [TS]

00:50:22   a this was a Jetta but it's uh it's a [TS]

00:50:24   it's a hotrod Jetta it's got its got the [TS]

00:50:27   vr6 vr6 the vr6 which is it's a v6 but [TS]

00:50:34   what makes it an R is that the motor [TS]

00:50:37   isn't sitting in there like front to [TS]

00:50:38   back it's sitting in there side to side [TS]

00:50:40   no shit [TS]

00:50:41   yeah v6 engine pr6 [TS]

00:50:45   oh look at that oh my goodness look at [TS]

00:50:48   that oh wow that's pretty in a little [TS]

00:50:51   tiny Jetta which all Jettas are as we [TS]

00:50:53   know pretty light pretty light that's [TS]

00:50:55   right this motor produces enough [TS]

00:50:57   horsepower that it makes the car very [TS]

00:50:59   sporty it's a very sporty Jetta so it [TS]

00:51:03   just looked you know on the road it just [TS]

00:51:04   looks like a black jet it like hey black [TS]

00:51:06   Jetta Shaima leymah hey Blake Jenna [TS]

00:51:08   there's like four million black Jetta [TS]

00:51:10   yes that's it was that was the car that [TS]

00:51:12   everybody had around the time we bought [TS]

00:51:14   that car but this one has the big hot [TS]

00:51:16   motor so when some like on some [TS]

00:51:18   ding-a-ling somebody steps to you oh [TS]

00:51:20   yeah some M car comes pulling around me [TS]

00:51:23   and thinks that it's like mr. guy please [TS]

00:51:26   black Jetta can leave a lot a lot of [TS]

00:51:28   people behind and that's not a thing I [TS]

00:51:31   like to do all the time no it's but it's [TS]

00:51:33   nice to know it's there it's like no one [TS]

00:51:34   comes Fuu that's right it's exactly [TS]

00:51:36   right [TS]

00:51:36   I don't deploy it unless and generally I [TS]

00:51:39   only deploy it against people who are [TS]

00:51:41   behaving in a way that I feel as though [TS]

00:51:45   that they need to be put back in their [TS]

00:51:47   place you know who would benefit from a [TS]

00:51:49   lesson that's right you know not you the [TS]

00:51:51   one one knows and the thing is I wasn't [TS]

00:51:53   worried about the Jetta the Jetta had [TS]

00:51:56   kind of been sitting around because [TS]

00:51:58   hitting because I encountered this [TS]

00:51:59   problem I was like oh god what now so I [TS]

00:52:03   said well I'll just drive the truck I [TS]

00:52:04   felt like a cock you couldn't you [TS]

00:52:05   couldn't couldn't burn rubber when you [TS]

00:52:07   had to teach a kid a lesson kid just [TS]

00:52:09   drive around on four cylinders in a six [TS]

00:52:11   owner it's not a professor without a [TS]

00:52:12   mortar board like what do [TS]

00:52:14   doesn't feel polite that's right no way [TS]

00:52:18   it stands now is Dan Ethan is working [TS]

00:52:20   you're gonna go visit him today where [TS]

00:52:22   are we with Daniel what's good so we're [TS]

00:52:24   back now to the Detailers at this point [TS]

00:52:25   well no so dama --then has the Jetta but [TS]

00:52:28   it's ready okay and canula [TS]

00:52:30   decided he needs to go deeper into the [TS]

00:52:33   bent of the truck all right and the [TS]

00:52:35   thing is school is out and so my little [TS]

00:52:39   girl and I are here at the house and no [TS]

00:52:42   car so oh boy [TS]

00:52:45   so nothing can happen like there's no [TS]

00:52:48   nothing but it would take you but it [TS]

00:52:54   would be a long trip for you to go most [TS]

00:52:56   places I mean you know it's like any [TS]

00:52:59   time I don't live in New York City right [TS]

00:53:01   so I don't just spend $25 on a car I [TS]

00:53:04   understand I understand [TS]

00:53:06   Star Wars well I could well here's the [TS]

00:53:11   thing you know she's very into Star Wars [TS]

00:53:12   but she's never seen any talk about that [TS]

00:53:14   on a future episode of the show her [TS]

00:53:16   interest in dark Vader well and I don't [TS]

00:53:18   know whether yeah right she's very [TS]

00:53:21   interested in dark Vader but I don't [TS]

00:53:22   know I don't know what the best start [TS]

00:53:25   maybe you can help me with this - I'd be [TS]

00:53:27   happy to help you with this I have an [TS]

00:53:28   answer and I have a solution what is the [TS]

00:53:30   best path into Star Wars for a [TS]

00:53:34   precocious six and a half year old girl [TS]

00:53:37   how do you get there's no one who is not [TS]

00:53:39   a monster who will tell you to start [TS]

00:53:42   with anything but Star Wars 1977 later [TS]

00:53:45   called episode four [TS]

00:53:46   you should strike it I mean you could [TS]

00:53:48   show her some of the cool there's pretty [TS]

00:53:50   good cartoons like but they're not gonna [TS]

00:53:52   be as meaningful as letting her be a [TS]

00:53:53   get watching Star Wars now now we get to [TS]

00:53:57   a thorny er situation which is which [TS]

00:54:00   version do you sure [TS]

00:54:01   oh ho so you could show her the 2000 [TS]

00:54:06   whatever version but it's got all the [TS]

00:54:07   junk in it that's the one where the [TS]

00:54:09   death star explodes or the own really [TS]

00:54:12   well there's like two two other versions [TS]

00:54:14   but anyway the thing is here's the thing [TS]

00:54:16   I have a version that I can share with [TS]

00:54:17   you that is called the D specialized [TS]

00:54:19   version what's the one where Han does [TS]

00:54:22   what he normally does and shoots first [TS]

00:54:24   that's the theatrical release that's [TS]

00:54:26   most of the fan cuts it's any of the any [TS]

00:54:28   of the humanistic normal ones that was [TS]

00:54:30   added I think in 1997 I think but I [TS]

00:54:34   could be wrong but I can get you a very [TS]

00:54:36   good copy of what's called the [TS]

00:54:37   despecialized edition which is where [TS]

00:54:39   this person or group of persons has gone [TS]

00:54:41   through to try and using the highest [TS]

00:54:44   quality version a media of each like so [TS]

00:54:48   for example like where the blu-ray is [TS]

00:54:50   utterly unchanged from the theatrical [TS]

00:54:51   release use that where the DVD version [TS]

00:54:55   is all suck but you go down this cascade [TS]

00:54:57   the laserdisc etc etc etc all the way [TS]

00:54:59   down to like well you know there are [TS]

00:55:01   some scenes where you're only gonna be [TS]

00:55:02   able to use like this copy of a [TS]

00:55:03   theatrical release not enough anyway [TS]

00:55:05   it's basically as free and please don't [TS]

00:55:08   email me I don't care but it's pretty [TS]

00:55:10   close to there are other ones that are [TS]

00:55:12   trying to deal with color grading and [TS]

00:55:14   stuff like that there's all kinds of [TS]

00:55:15   there's a whole community out there you [TS]

00:55:16   don't want to get involved in no I do [TS]

00:55:17   not but what I think is called the [TS]

00:55:19   despecialized version and it is a very [TS]

00:55:22   good quality version that's very close [TS]

00:55:23   to the Star Wars we saw in the theater [TS]

00:55:25   in 1977 that's my advice [TS]

00:55:27   others would differ that's what I would [TS]

00:55:28   say what I want I do not want any CGI [TS]

00:55:32   Jabba the Hutt's yeah you walking around [TS]

00:55:35   there's little puppets running around in [TS]

00:55:36   Mos Eisley I don't want any of that I [TS]

00:55:38   just want dinosaur just walking around [TS]

00:55:40   no thank you [TS]

00:55:42   I don't want burrito a shooting when he [TS]

00:55:46   didn't shoot if you don't want fixed [TS]

00:55:49   like when you're watching for it's kind [TS]

00:55:51   of cool the way that like when Princess [TS]

00:55:52   Leia is putting the the floppy disk into [TS]

00:55:54   r2 there's a really terrible edit and [TS]

00:55:56   there's a jump when he's walking down [TS]

00:55:57   there's a terrible edit that I love I [TS]

00:55:59   love that I don't ever want that taken [TS]

00:56:00   out leave that edit it leave that at [TS]

00:56:03   I don't mind not noticing the mats [TS]

00:56:06   around the TIE fighters as much because [TS]

00:56:08   I used to swatch it on a really [TS]

00:56:10   oversaturated thing with the brightness [TS]

00:56:11   turned all the way up where you can see [TS]

00:56:12   them at around the time fighters but you [TS]

00:56:14   know I I think mainly the thing is if [TS]

00:56:16   you show her the fancy recent most [TS]

00:56:20   recent like you know George Lucas [TS]

00:56:22   version it's not the I'm so glad John [TS]

00:56:24   siracusa doesn't listen this show um [TS]

00:56:26   it's not the worst thing in the world [TS]

00:56:28   but I would say just for your own [TS]

00:56:30   satisfaction as a man you don't want to [TS]

00:56:32   be a cook you were sure the non cook [TS]

00:56:33   version thank you I'm gonna call it the [TS]

00:56:35   specialized version which I will provide [TS]

00:56:36   for you thank you thank you thank you [TS]

00:56:38   and thank you fix your car situation [TS]

00:56:44   what are you gonna do how you how even [TS]

00:56:45   are you gonna get over to Dan Athens [TS]

00:56:47   today I can be I can be totes over there [TS]

00:56:53   either by because I have you know I have [TS]

00:56:57   the the mobile car seat situation oh I [TS]

00:57:00   can throw out your hand changing it I [TS]

00:57:04   have beat myself up and beat up car [TS]

00:57:08   seats car so the car seat is the worst [TS]

00:57:10   thing in the world it's worse than your [TS]

00:57:11   name Daniel arguably it's so I've cut [TS]

00:57:14   myself literally cut myself bleeding [TS]

00:57:15   there's blood on the wall down by our [TS]

00:57:17   front door still from one of the times [TS]

00:57:18   that I cut myself changing the fucking [TS]

00:57:20   car seat you put it into that chamber [TS]

00:57:23   again it's like dune you know fear is [TS]

00:57:25   the mind killer you put your hand into [TS]

00:57:26   that goddamn chamber and anything can [TS]

00:57:28   happen who designed that yeah sorry it's [TS]

00:57:31   a it's like in Buck Rogers in the 21st [TS]

00:57:33   century you put your hand into the stump [TS]

00:57:35   right what's gonna happen like one in [TS]

00:57:38   three you're gonna die remember that [TS]

00:57:40   Aaron gray remember her - I ever knew [TS]

00:57:44   she was a massage she's perky well so in [TS]

00:57:48   the truck at a certain point my little [TS]

00:57:50   girl said I don't want to sit in a car [TS]

00:57:52   seat anymore in this truck and I said [TS]

00:57:55   baby you're a little kid you gotta sit [TS]

00:57:56   in a car seat and she I don't know how [TS]

00:58:00   she knows these things but she was like [TS]

00:58:02   the truck doesn't have any safety [TS]

00:58:06   features and I said what what's that [TS]

00:58:12   sweetie and she said there are no [TS]

00:58:14   airbags [TS]

00:58:15   there are no there's nothing in the [TS]

00:58:18   trunk so why should I sit in a car seat [TS]

00:58:23   sounds like somebody else in the family [TS]

00:58:26   may have talked to her about this that's [TS]

00:58:27   what it seemed like - seems like little [TS]

00:58:29   kids don't bring up airbags that often [TS]

00:58:31   it sounds maybe more like one of the [TS]

00:58:33   other people in your life is maybe talk [TS]

00:58:34   to her about the truck safety features I [TS]

00:58:36   think that she was listening in on a [TS]

00:58:38   conversation between two adults oh [TS]

00:58:40   really [TS]

00:58:41   one of them said to another you know [TS]

00:58:43   that truck doesn't have any safety [TS]

00:58:45   features I'm guessing might be played so [TS]

00:58:56   or maybe her Grammy and granddad were [TS]

00:58:58   talking about it a lot of people oh [TS]

00:59:00   that's so sweet and so she's looking at [TS]

00:59:03   me with this this look of consternation [TS]

00:59:06   and with her hands on her hips like [TS]

00:59:08   let's not play around let's not say [TS]

00:59:12   things we both know aren't true right [TS]

00:59:13   like a car seat is there to protect a [TS]

00:59:15   child in an environment where other [TS]

00:59:17   things might happen like airbags and [TS]

00:59:20   going off and other things but this [TS]

00:59:22   truck is a deathtrap so why should I sit [TS]

00:59:24   in a car seat security theater and I was [TS]

00:59:27   like security theaters exactly right so [TS]

00:59:29   I said all right if you sit in the [TS]

00:59:32   middle in the back I'll just buckle you [TS]

00:59:36   in and we'll pretend this never happened [TS]

00:59:38   and so then immediately so we're driving [TS]

00:59:41   around we're having a great old time [TS]

00:59:42   she's not in her car seat [TS]

00:59:44   she's buckled in I'm driving cautiously [TS]

00:59:48   and then she rats me out I was driving [TS]

00:59:51   in Daddy's truck without a car seat [TS]

00:59:55   sickening [TS]

00:59:56   yeah so now everybody knows Oh [TS]

00:59:56   yeah so now everybody knows Oh [TS]

01:00:00   oh waves this is huge you might as well [TS]

01:00:05   have been smoking in front of her that's [TS]

01:00:07   right so I so what I was gonna say to [TS]

01:00:09   Clint while it was up there was why [TS]

01:00:11   don't you order a bunch of new seatbelts [TS]

01:00:13   playing fancy ass seatbelts and I think [TS]

01:00:18   that it's too late to close that barn [TS]

01:00:20   door buddy put them all in put them in [TS]

01:00:21   the truck man [TS]

01:00:22   you know what farcical number of seat [TS]

01:00:26   belts in red yeah [TS]

01:00:27   make them all red [TS]

01:00:31   I want seat belts I want Ludacris seat [TS]

01:00:33   is my baby and but I didn't have time [TS]

01:00:37   for it because he's like oh well you're [TS]

01:00:39   - fire now seems interesting to me yeah [TS]

01:00:41   so baby steps baby steps baby steps is [TS]

01:00:44   right but you'll have a nice day at home [TS]

01:00:46   oh I wish I'd gotten you that star wars [TS]

01:00:48   already you can be watching a star war [TS]

01:00:50   it's great we uh you know I I like got [TS]

01:00:53   the fireplace working again so we've [TS]

01:00:55   been throwing some logs in the fire we [TS]

01:00:57   decorated a Christmas tree that's nice [TS]

01:01:01   and it sounds to me right now like she's [TS]

01:01:03   working on her art projects so at a [TS]

01:01:05   certain point though I'm gonna have to [TS]

01:01:06   get her up I'm gonna have to get socks [TS]

01:01:08   on her I'm gonna have to do this whole [TS]

01:01:10   business and say let's go we're going to [TS]

01:01:14   dance oh that is hard it's mine there [TS]

01:01:19   has not been required to run enough [TS]

01:01:20   errands in life and she considers it a [TS]

01:01:22   terrible inconvenience to her all I ever [TS]

01:01:24   did was run many errands with my parents [TS]

01:01:26   I hated it I hated the errands that's [TS]

01:01:28   what you do you don't get a treat your [TS]

01:01:30   treat is maybe you get like a dumb-dumb [TS]

01:01:33   or something that's your treat your [TS]

01:01:34   treat is not that you get like a $30 [TS]

01:01:36   Lego set I don't know how we got into [TS]

01:01:37   this situation [TS]

01:01:38   no sometimes at the bank somebody will [TS]

01:01:40   give you a mint oh yeah yeah we get to [TS]

01:01:42   play with the pen and make the chain go [TS]

01:01:44   in a circle and all the things we did to [TS]

01:01:46   amuse ourselves I don't know how we got [TS]

01:01:48   here except that I'm a terrible terrible [TS]

01:01:49   person knowing you and yours I'm [TS]

01:01:53   guessing you don't have those kind of [TS]

01:01:55   problems I well I have always been of [TS]

01:02:00   the opinion that she needs to run [TS]

01:02:02   errands for the exact same reason that [TS]

01:02:03   you just said this is I it's so funny [TS]

01:02:07   there's that louis c.k bit about this [TS]

01:02:09   the reason [TS]

01:02:10   the reason you have to do this is [TS]

01:02:11   because you don't want to do this I [TS]

01:02:12   laughed at that on one level whatever [TS]

01:02:14   that was five ten years ago I left on a [TS]

01:02:16   completely different level now because I [TS]

01:02:17   find myself actually saying that I say [TS]

01:02:19   the whole reason we're meeting is cuz [TS]

01:02:20   you don't want to leave okay where we go [TS]

01:02:22   you just have to go somewhere you don't [TS]

01:02:23   want to go today it's very important you [TS]

01:02:25   be somewhere that's inconvenient for you [TS]

01:02:27   that's absolutely the case just a little [TS]

01:02:30   teaspoon of inconvenience several times [TS]

01:02:32   a week is very important when I think [TS]

01:02:34   about my childhood it is just a constant [TS]

01:02:37   like it's an archipelago of stops store [TS]

01:02:48   so fucking boring Ben Franklin's or like [TS]

01:02:51   now like I I mean I would just go in [TS]

01:02:54   like like what is the most interesting [TS]

01:02:55   thing I could find here I go to notions [TS]

01:02:57   I'd look at zippers and buttons that's [TS]

01:02:59   the look through the patterns oh look [TS]

01:03:01   culottes [TS]

01:03:02   jesus fucking christ my kid has to go [TS]

01:03:04   somewhere to get something that she [TS]

01:03:06   wants and she considers it an [TS]

01:03:07   inconvenience yeah like I can't I I go [TS]

01:03:11   back and think like what was the [TS]

01:03:13   highlight what was the highlight of my [TS]

01:03:15   afternoon spent with my parents stop by [TS]

01:03:20   the park they never stopped by a partner [TS]

01:03:23   and stop by a park that used to be a [TS]

01:03:24   treat that was the distri was the treat [TS]

01:03:26   was you get to go on the springy donkey [TS]

01:03:27   that's the others treat the treat was [TS]

01:03:30   sometimes my dad would go by this [TS]

01:03:31   chinese restaurant where he knew the guy [TS]

01:03:33   that owned it and we would walk through [TS]

01:03:34   the kitchen and then he would stand off [TS]

01:03:37   in a corner and talk to this guy had a [TS]

01:03:45   job and did all of this yeah sociable [TS]

01:03:50   creature he wasn't I have no idea what [TS]

01:03:52   business he was transacting with this [TS]

01:03:54   guy but but we would go there and [TS]

01:03:55   sometimes we would leave with Chinese [TS]

01:03:57   food sometimes we wouldn't but that was [TS]

01:04:00   always interesting to go there the photo [TS]

01:04:03   stop meant that there was at least five [TS]

01:04:06   minutes of going through photos that we [TS]

01:04:09   had to do when he came back in the car [TS]

01:04:10   where he was like right this one's out [TS]

01:04:12   of focus this one's that focus this [TS]

01:04:13   one's picture the packs an old picture [TS]

01:04:15   of our shoes dad your dad's famous like [TS]

01:04:18   My Bloody Valentine album cover style of [TS]

01:04:20   photography [TS]

01:04:21   Finkle one dear or mom Yeah right or it [TS]

01:04:28   was that you know like his his his [TS]

01:04:30   ultimate style was oh my God look a UFO [TS]

01:04:33   here John go over and get in the shot [TS]

01:04:35   fuck you there'd be a picture of me [TS]

01:04:45   slumped in the front photos with cameras [TS]

01:04:48   and pho and and and real actual cameras [TS]

01:04:51   and my phone for a pretty long time and [TS]

01:04:54   I still have to remind myself there's so [TS]

01:04:56   many reasons not to take a picture of [TS]

01:04:57   the sunset I mean especially if you know [TS]

01:05:00   you're doing it to go oh look it's the [TS]

01:05:01   sunset okay alright yeah you know it's [TS]

01:05:04   not bad but it's not great to like post [TS]

01:05:07   pictures of the sunset like I don't want [TS]

01:05:08   to do that too much but then that's just [TS]

01:05:10   the whole idea that like given the focal [TS]

01:05:13   length of a of a camera like the sunset [TS]

01:05:17   does not look good it doesn't look the [TS]

01:05:19   way it looks to the a spur to the focal [TS]

01:05:22   length of your brain like right what and [TS]

01:05:24   like when you oh the moon is so big [TS]

01:05:25   tonight and you take a picture and it's [TS]

01:05:27   just blur blur of a little white circle [TS]

01:05:29   it's not nearly as big in the sky as it [TS]

01:05:32   seems because of the way your perception [TS]

01:05:33   works but we didn't used to know that [TS]

01:05:36   you get you one 10 20 exposures you [TS]

01:05:37   popped it into your Instamatic and then [TS]

01:05:38   click click click click click click copy [TS]

01:05:40   I'm saying well we we I don't know it [TS]

01:05:43   even now because because I sometimes [TS]

01:05:47   have to go through my photo archive and [TS]

01:05:51   call all the pictures of the moon that [TS]

01:05:53   I've taken happy it's absolutely the [TS]

01:06:00   truth every time I see the moon and it [TS]

01:06:02   looks really beautiful I'm like oh the [TS]

01:06:03   moon and then when I look back at the [TS]

01:06:05   photo it's like a blurry out-of-focus [TS]

01:06:08   picture of a tiny white dog yeah and so [TS]

01:06:10   it's just like delete delete delete [TS]

01:06:12   delete moon moon moon moon I'm looking [TS]

01:06:17   here last night I got a new app that [TS]

01:06:18   I've been trying on the iPhone it says [TS]

01:06:21   sometimes sometimes I'll set up these [TS]

01:06:23   these odd Me's and seen these little [TS]

01:06:25   like I don't know what you want to call [TS]

01:06:26   it but I'll like set up in this case [TS]

01:06:28   it's my very very large action figure of [TS]

01:06:31   Michonne from The Walking Dead an index [TS]

01:06:34   card and [TS]

01:06:35   Thomas the Train train and not just I'll [TS]

01:06:37   just send it to you it's it's very [TS]

01:06:39   strange though the Sun and I'll do it [TS]

01:06:40   I'll try and pick things we're okay in [TS]

01:06:42   the case of Michonne I know she's very [TS]

01:06:43   detailed and I want to see like how does [TS]

01:06:45   it capture her her black person skintone [TS]

01:06:48   how does it capture the like the little [TS]

01:06:50   wrinkles in her pants with the index [TS]

01:06:52   card I know this is a fine blue line [TS]

01:06:53   this is a fine pink line how did that [TS]

01:06:54   turn out and then I got a Thomas the [TS]

01:06:56   Train because the lady trains a really [TS]

01:06:57   cool train and then I got a quarter so I [TS]

01:06:59   can see what a quarter looks like but [TS]

01:07:01   then this morning I looked at it and I [TS]

01:07:02   was like man what if somebody like found [TS]

01:07:05   this out in the wild this thing that I [TS]

01:07:07   have made here it looks like some kind [TS]

01:07:09   of a very disturbing alter I just don't [TS]

01:07:11   see context well you know I've been to [TS]

01:07:13   I've been to your office I know that [TS]

01:07:18   it's a very strange environment all [TS]

01:07:21   kinds of you know all kinds of magical [TS]

01:07:23   things might be lurking like black lady [TS]

01:07:25   with a samurai sword how cool is that [TS]

01:07:26   it's great and you do have like what's [TS]

01:07:29   this what is the certificate on the [TS]

01:07:31   floor oh okay so biscuits is halide and [TS]

01:07:34   this is iOS and the quarter I move the [TS]

01:07:36   quarter you know depending it gets to [TS]

01:07:38   get the system so I could see which [TS]

01:07:39   photo was taken was with which not a [TS]

01:07:42   very good photo but well it's of curious [TS]

01:07:45   to also that the the would finish yes [TS]

01:07:56   our cat claws the wall yes my daughters [TS]

01:07:58   at least a liquid there [TS]

01:07:59   she's so Christmas which is which is the [TS]

01:08:02   result of the well I mean what what [TS]

01:08:04   caused the damage to the floor the [TS]

01:08:05   liquid before the cat oh it's a liquid [TS]

01:08:09   the liquid and what did she leave there [TS]

01:08:12   some naphtha it's a very old house that [TS]

01:08:18   would destroy the finish in that way it [TS]

01:08:20   has to be have been some some amazing [TS]

01:08:23   stuff what was it like mashed potatoes [TS]

01:08:26   can I ask you a cliffhanger cuz we go [TS]

01:08:28   we'll come back represents coming for [TS]

01:08:31   Christmas Dan for the Happy New Year [TS]

01:08:33   episode that are pre-recorded those be [TS]

01:08:34   coming out Mazel Tov happy everything [TS]

01:08:36   and everybody keeps asking and I'm just [TS]

01:08:38   gonna leave it a cliffhanger because we [TS]

01:08:40   probably have time to go into it would [TS]

01:08:41   you going to tell us whether you have [TS]

01:08:42   opened your envelope oh no in fact you [TS]

01:08:47   won't tell us or you didn't open it [TS]

01:08:49   well so my daughter's mother was over [TS]

01:08:52   here the other day and she said she was [TS]

01:08:54   in the kitchen she was like what to use [TS]

01:08:56   this envelope and I said because she [TS]

01:08:59   doesn't listen to those shows no and or [TS]

01:09:03   or I think follow me on Instagram yeah [TS]

01:09:05   and she said what's this envelope and I [TS]

01:09:08   was like nothing and she said is this [TS]

01:09:10   your college diploma and I was like no [TS]

01:09:12   maybe no and she said because it was in [TS]

01:09:17   the kitchen at this point it's very [TS]

01:09:21   suspiciously I thought I've seen the [TS]

01:09:22   photograph of it it is very suspiciously [TS]

01:09:24   diploma shaped yep it looks very much [TS]

01:09:27   like a diploma and you know in it and it [TS]

01:09:29   is from the University of Washington's [TS]

01:09:31   office of basically office of diplomas [TS]

01:09:35   and she said she said you know what I'm [TS]

01:09:39   gonna open this right now I was like [TS]

01:09:41   don't you dare open Malaysia she said [TS]

01:09:45   I'm just gonna open it and I was like [TS]

01:09:47   hands off so I you know I had to like [TS]

01:09:50   rescue my unopened diploma from her from [TS]

01:09:54   her she I think shares the attitude that [TS]

01:09:57   a lot of people on Instagram and on the [TS]

01:09:59   internet I have which is open it oh you [TS]

01:10:02   would not believe how much feedback I've [TS]

01:10:04   got I've gotten on other shows people [TS]

01:10:05   are asking me why did you not ask John [TS]

01:10:08   to open the Diploma on the air yeah I [TS]

01:10:10   have my reasons which is it's your deal [TS]

01:10:12   this is your fucking deal I respect [TS]

01:10:17   keeping the envelope closed in a certain [TS]

01:10:18   way I've got to say I probably open it [TS]

01:10:20   personally because I'm needy but I [TS]

01:10:22   knowing you a little bit I think I [TS]

01:10:24   understand why you would also maybe no [TS]

01:10:26   one open it there's lots of reasons but [TS]

01:10:27   it's really your choice what I expected [TS]

01:10:31   was a you know like most things most [TS]

01:10:34   controversial things that he post on the [TS]

01:10:36   web you get about a you know sometimes a [TS]

01:10:39   6040 spread but most of the time half [TS]

01:10:41   the people are on your team right there [TS]

01:10:44   the 50% that are like open it stop being [TS]

01:10:47   such a blur yeah and 50% are like yeah I [TS]

01:10:50   agree with you why don't you put it in [TS]

01:10:51   the frame and put it on the wall or you [TS]

01:10:54   know what you should do there are some [TS]

01:10:55   people that are like why don't you just [TS]

01:10:56   burn it but in this case when I put it [TS]

01:10:59   the Internet I the responses were about [TS]

01:11:02   92% openness I know and I was like [TS]

01:11:06   what's the matter with you people that [TS]

01:11:08   doesn't anybody like I mean like I get [TS]

01:11:12   why but like its how does one say it's [TS]

01:11:18   like let people have their deal you know [TS]

01:11:23   somebody lets somebody have their deal [TS]

01:11:25   maybe is there a chance that their deal [TS]

01:11:27   in some potential universe is more [TS]

01:11:30   important than your need for resolution [TS]

01:11:32   in entertainment well I you know as I as [TS]

01:11:35   I read all of these things and took them [TS]

01:11:37   together as a hive mind experience I [TS]

01:11:40   came to feel that most of the people [TS]

01:11:43   were not saying like I want you to open [TS]

01:11:45   it for my sake as a viewer they were [TS]

01:11:48   saying this is what you need close such [TS]

01:11:52   an important distinction is it is it [TS]

01:11:54   because they want it opened or because [TS]

01:11:56   they want you they think you'd be better [TS]

01:11:58   off in life having it open [TS]

01:11:59   my sense is that the people that listen [TS]

01:12:01   to this program are people that [TS]

01:12:03   genuinely care for the most part about [TS]

01:12:05   us all of the people that listen to this [TS]

01:12:07   program is kind of like sport hate or [TS]

01:12:10   whatever the ones that were just [TS]

01:12:12   listening to it out of I don't know what [TS]

01:12:14   those people have self-selected to go [TS]

01:12:17   away before I had a word yeah at some [TS]

01:12:23   point you said something or I said [TS]

01:12:25   something else where people were like [TS]

01:12:26   that's us ever again ever again and so [TS]

01:12:29   everybody else actually genuinely pretty [TS]

01:12:31   much cares and I think there is a [TS]

01:12:33   consensus that this diploma is us it is [TS]

01:12:36   finally a like an open door where people [TS]

01:12:41   can get just one foot inside and start [TS]

01:12:45   to like rattle my cage a little bit and [TS]

01:12:47   my psychiatrist whom I barely trust said [TS]

01:12:52   to me the other day [TS]

01:12:54   he's like why the only reason not to [TS]

01:12:56   open that thing because after you and I [TS]

01:12:58   talked about it I mentioned it to him as [TS]

01:13:01   a component of answering his question [TS]

01:13:03   are you happy are you happy I just have [TS]

01:13:09   to be a yes or no answer Yeah right [TS]

01:13:11   exactly like that no my answer is [TS]

01:13:13   I was like what is happy but he said the [TS]

01:13:17   only reason not to open the thing is to [TS]

01:13:20   somehow deprive yourself of any feeling [TS]

01:13:23   of accomplishment like what is it [TS]

01:13:25   what are you keeping it for you're [TS]

01:13:27   saving it for like a special day or are [TS]

01:13:30   you just like not able to that's really [TS]

01:13:34   that's an essentialist argument for [TS]

01:13:36   opening an envelope I think so too but [TS]

01:13:38   but I did definitely feel like there [TS]

01:13:41   were very few people who were like I I [TS]

01:13:43   cannot think of a single person online [TS]

01:13:46   who told me to open the envelope [TS]

01:13:48   who who meant me ill yeah everybody [TS]

01:13:52   meant well and there then there were a [TS]

01:13:55   few people who were like I agree you [TS]

01:13:56   know never open it and I feel like they [TS]

01:14:01   also wish me well they just share some [TS]

01:14:05   mental illness with me fully mini yeah [TS]

01:14:11   but but my daughter's mother was [TS]

01:14:14   definitely in the camp of I'm just gonna [TS]

01:14:17   open this right now and take this [TS]

01:14:19   decision away from you and then you're [TS]

01:14:21   gonna have this diploma that you're [TS]

01:14:23   gonna have to figure out how to frame [TS]

01:14:24   like it's just like it's tearing off a [TS]

01:14:25   bandage kinda yeah and I was like unhand [TS]

01:14:28   it mm-hm and she kind of like rolled her [TS]

01:14:31   eyes which is a very popular form of [TS]

01:14:34   expression around my house now yesterday [TS]

01:14:38   my little girl decided that I was equal [TS]

01:14:43   parts well what were the words baby [TS]

01:14:47   equal parts out now she's very shy now [TS]

01:14:51   she doesn't exist she's gone into [TS]

01:14:52   non-existence about the the words worth [TS]

01:14:55   equal parts like what was it it's [TS]

01:15:02   something like fantastic and awful oh [TS]

01:15:04   that's pretty good equal parts oh wait [TS]

01:15:08   there's a sound coming from underneath [TS]

01:15:10   this blanket what were the words Oh [TS]

01:15:14   amazing and awful amazing and terrible [TS]

01:15:21   that's what it was equal parts equal [TS]

01:15:22   parts amazing and terrible I [TS]

01:15:24   both amazing and terrible with no it's [TS]

01:15:28   not like 60/40 it's like both amazing [TS]

01:15:31   and terrible amazing and terrible she [TS]

01:15:34   said I got a dressing-down yesterday we [TS]

01:15:37   were walking around having [TS]

01:15:37   daddy-daughter day and she goes okay [TS]

01:15:41   don't think about it you have five [TS]

01:15:42   seconds what kind of dog do you want and [TS]

01:15:43   it's like oh well if success she's like [TS]

01:15:46   you have five seconds one two three four [TS]

01:15:48   five when I said pug listen and I know [TS]

01:15:51   right exactly and then I go but it's not [TS]

01:15:53   pug because there's it's very and she [TS]

01:15:56   said has anyone ever told you that you [TS]

01:15:59   have a habit of answering a very simple [TS]

01:16:02   question with a very very unnecessarily [TS]

01:16:04   long answer all right well I guess the [TS]

01:16:20   bunny's out of the basket now out of the [TS]

01:16:21   bastok so what happened detour well from [TS]

01:16:27   her yeah no I didn't it's still in the [TS]

01:16:29   kitchen though it's not it's sitting [TS]

01:16:34   next to the coffee maker and now I'm [TS]

01:16:35   worried that what's gonna happen is [TS]

01:16:37   somebody's gonna spill something on it [TS]

01:16:38   and then I'm gonna have a envelope with [TS]

01:16:40   like a coffee mug circle on it yeah I [TS]

01:16:44   don't want whatever's in it I don't want [TS]

01:16:46   damaged even if it is has someone [TS]

01:16:48   suggested online a list of her even if [TS]

01:16:51   it's always like my unpaid University of [TS]

01:16:55   Washington parking ticket all right [TS]

01:16:57   that's a good week well I think yeah I [TS]

01:16:59   think you did the right thing I'm on I [TS]

01:17:01   mean I understand either way it's it's [TS]

01:17:02   but it is your decision [TS]

01:17:04   well yeah but but I have their deal [TS]

01:17:07   that's all I'm saying there is a [TS]

01:17:09   reasonable version of this story which [TS]

01:17:12   is that this is a decision that I should [TS]

01:17:14   be deprived of can I let me give up [TS]

01:17:18   nobody fucking asked me but I'm gonna [TS]

01:17:21   give up I'm gonna give a read on this [TS]

01:17:22   and you can tell me to go fuck off but [TS]

01:17:25   like my read on this is my read on this [TS]

01:17:28   is it's not actually that difficult to [TS]

01:17:32   guess what's in there right and if it [TS]

01:17:35   were that difficult for you [TS]

01:17:38   to guess what's in there you would tear [TS]

01:17:40   into it on some level I think the truth [TS]

01:17:42   is you know exactly what's in there and [TS]

01:17:45   when you feel like it you open it up and [TS]

01:17:47   you'll take out the thing that's in [TS]

01:17:48   there because you kind of know what it [TS]

01:17:49   is I don't think it's as mysterious as [TS]

01:17:51   everyone wants to make it [TS]

01:17:52   I think if John Roderick were really [TS]

01:17:55   truly uncertain about what that was [TS]

01:17:56   you would have torn it open by now I [TS]

01:17:58   think you know and I think I think [TS]

01:18:00   you're saving a treat for yourself on [TS]

01:18:01   some level well I imagine that so the [TS]

01:18:05   thing that I'm curious about is is it [TS]

01:18:07   beautiful right and I think it probably [TS]

01:18:10   is but the but everything you have [TS]

01:18:12   should be beautiful or useful yep right [TS]

01:18:15   but but i but the problem I think is [TS]

01:18:20   well first of all like my psychiatrist [TS]

01:18:23   as he's telling me like you should open [TS]

01:18:25   it he points to his wall and he's like [TS]

01:18:27   look I opened all night oh needy I am [TS]

01:18:29   and he has like seven diplomas on the [TS]

01:18:31   wall like you're worried I won't believe [TS]

01:18:37   you or something like what are you doing [TS]

01:18:38   yeah every test he's ever passed like oh [TS]

01:18:41   you know here I gotta wait and and this [TS]

01:18:46   was true of my Millennium girlfriend [TS]

01:18:48   also had like a bunch of diplomas a lot [TS]

01:18:52   of different diplomas I like her a lot [TS]

01:18:54   but but I'm just sitting saying ugh [TS]

01:18:56   because like I there's something about I [TS]

01:18:58   see something of myself and that and [TS]

01:19:00   it's like the ex-smoker problem where [TS]

01:19:02   I'm like Shh don't do that don't do that [TS]

01:19:05   stop with somebody you know what here [TS]

01:19:06   here's oh here's something for free [TS]

01:19:07   celebrity Twitter how about this how [TS]

01:19:09   about when somebody dies your fake [TS]

01:19:12   eulogy you post is not include a selfie [TS]

01:19:14   with that person stop doing that you [TS]

01:19:17   know the dead guy that's fucking great I [TS]

01:19:19   just want to say what an honor it was to [TS]

01:19:21   be interviewed by them after nobody knew [TS]

01:19:22   who they were anymore yeah do that [TS]

01:19:24   stop doing that that's not that's not [TS]

01:19:26   classy and like having all your diplomas [TS]

01:19:29   on the wall as a fucking doctor is so [TS]

01:19:31   not classy instead if it was dan dan [TS]

01:19:34   Ethan and Daniel and they had some [TS]

01:19:36   certifications that they've been through [TS]

01:19:37   like different kinds I think that makes [TS]

01:19:39   a lot more sense I think if you've got a [TS]

01:19:40   restaurant and there's not shit in the [TS]

01:19:42   food you have every reason to put up an [TS]

01:19:43   A or a 100 but like if you're a [TS]

01:19:45   professional like that's so needy [TS]

01:19:47   it's that rose they all do it it's part [TS]

01:19:50   of you [TS]

01:19:50   you have to be you have some kind of [TS]

01:19:52   imposter syndrome where you have to be [TS]

01:19:53   reminded that this very very large piece [TS]

01:19:55   of vellum proves that like you're worthy [TS]

01:19:58   in the world and it's like Oh God like [TS]

01:19:59   what are you five it's just in the [TS]

01:20:01   fashion it's their fashion you know you [TS]

01:20:03   walk in and you look at the stuff on the [TS]

01:20:05   wall and you're like no nothing a lab [TS]

01:20:07   coat and they got that they got the [TS]

01:20:08   fucking stethoscope I get is a little on [TS]

01:20:11   the nose like mainly that looks like [TS]

01:20:13   somebody in a pharmaceutical ad it [TS]

01:20:16   caused me to reflect and this happened [TS]

01:20:18   this was this got doubled down on [TS]

01:20:21   yesterday mm-hmm [TS]

01:20:22   because I think I told you but one of [TS]

01:20:29   the listeners of our program and I think [TS]

01:20:33   a longtime fan of Merlin Mann all the [TS]

01:20:37   way back to tech work pod weekly oh sure [TS]

01:20:41   tech work blog weekly yeah yeah check [TS]

01:20:43   pod work weekly or whatever that was [TS]

01:20:45   where you this week in tech pod this [TS]

01:20:49   working working what this American [TS]

01:20:51   workplace miss this pod whatever you [TS]

01:20:55   were very early on the Internet [TS]

01:20:57   I mean before most people even knew what [TS]

01:20:59   it was and there were a lot of people [TS]

01:21:00   that found you then because there were [TS]

01:21:02   only 45 people on the internet and they [TS]

01:21:03   all found each other but at that time [TS]

01:21:06   this person who who is what would you [TS]

01:21:12   say a military academic Jesus fucking [TS]

01:21:17   idea yeah a person who a young gentleman [TS]

01:21:22   was and I you know I don't want to out [TS]

01:21:25   him except to say that he that he is be [TS]

01:21:29   as a real life person real life person [TS]

01:21:31   in the military yeah [TS]

01:21:34   his name is Colonel Kaplan okay he was [TS]

01:21:38   the head of the history department [TS]

01:21:41   he was the you know the chair of the [TS]

01:21:43   history department at the Air Force [TS]

01:21:45   Academy oh my god and now teaches at the [TS]

01:21:50   Army War College and is teaching like [TS]

01:21:54   strategic and and does all kinds of like [TS]

01:22:01   you know military thinking [TS]

01:22:03   and this is this is um do you ever get [TS]

01:22:06   that if you ever dig out that area in [TS]

01:22:08   the desert you know I'm talking about oh [TS]

01:22:10   sure yeah this this is a fellow you're [TS]

01:22:13   gonna want on your side he's gonna be [TS]

01:22:15   able to tell you how much to move Dick [TS]

01:22:16   Cheney's furniture every night [TS]

01:22:18   he's already on our side okay okay a lot [TS]

01:22:20   of people there are a lot of people who [TS]

01:22:22   to who come to this program and and who [TS]

01:22:27   have made their way to me who came [TS]

01:22:30   through you who listened to Roderick on [TS]

01:22:48   the line yeah you're familiar with the [TS]

01:22:50   other guy yeah who came through Merlin [TS]

01:22:53   ham I'm I would say a lot of people a [TS]

01:22:57   lot wow that's amazing it's almost like [TS]

01:22:59   I've done stuff on the internet no pause [TS]

01:23:01   yeah right right yeah that's a crazy [TS]

01:23:03   you're still the thing is you're still I [TS]

01:23:07   gave you your first internet site and I [TS]

01:23:11   know got you to have a show that before [TS]

01:23:23   times yeah okay all right so with you [TS]

01:23:28   with your car your doctor well so [TS]

01:23:29   Colonel Kaplan invites me are it's not [TS]

01:23:33   quite an invitation he proposed me he [TS]

01:23:36   submitted me to go to the national [TS]

01:23:40   security seminar which is a seminar at [TS]

01:23:43   the Army War College every year right [TS]

01:23:45   before the new crop of Army and Navy Air [TS]

01:23:49   Force Marines like kernel-level war [TS]

01:23:52   fighters graduate from this college [TS]

01:23:54   where they're taught to thinks strategic [TS]

01:23:58   they have some civilians come in to talk [TS]

01:24:03   about big ideas right like the the use [TS]

01:24:08   of the use of military power in the [TS]

01:24:11   geopolitical sphere and they may [TS]

01:24:15   intentionally want people that don't [TS]

01:24:17   have military backgrounds they want [TS]

01:24:19   people from a wide variety of civilian [TS]

01:24:22   life who are interested in talking about [TS]

01:24:25   that stuff which is me I'm a good [TS]

01:24:28   example of a person like that is [TS]

01:24:30   overqualified yeah who wants to sit with [TS]

01:24:32   a bunch of Colonels and talk about how [TS]

01:24:34   to use American power or or in my case [TS]

01:24:38   when not to use American power so he [TS]

01:24:41   proposes me and he's like you got to go [TS]

01:24:43   online and fill out this this thing you [TS]

01:24:45   tell him who you are and so forth [TS]

01:24:47   because he's like although I recommend [TS]

01:24:49   you as a as a member of the faculty [TS]

01:24:51   it gets decided by some but some people [TS]

01:24:54   at the army and I don't even know who [TS]

01:24:55   they are okay so I go online and I'm [TS]

01:24:58   filling out this thing like who are you [TS]

01:24:59   what do you do and I'm like I'm this guy [TS]

01:25:01   I do these things and then there's a [TS]

01:25:04   whole section of it that says why don't [TS]

01:25:09   you list all of your awards and like [TS]

01:25:15   diplomas and awards and other you know [TS]

01:25:18   all of them if you have one for instance [TS]

01:25:20   like the the like Legion to honor or [TS]

01:25:24   whatever right if you if you have if [TS]

01:25:27   you've been awarded the iron claws with [TS]

01:25:29   iron cross with Diamonds you know put it [TS]

01:25:33   here and I'm like I'm thinking and I'm [TS]

01:25:37   thinking I'm like oh my god you know [TS]

01:25:38   what I don't have any awards so no one's [TS]

01:25:40   ever given me an award so I've never [TS]

01:25:42   we've never won a phoney award no I [TS]

01:25:44   don't think I've been nominated never [TS]

01:25:47   been even but nominee if you're phony [TS]

01:25:48   words existed we should at least have [TS]

01:25:50   been nominated but then having invented [TS]

01:25:52   the award that we haven't been nominated [TS]

01:25:53   for right I'm singing it for foreign [TS]

01:25:56   Grammy I've never been you know and so [TS]

01:25:58   I'm thinking like what are my awards I [TS]

01:26:00   the Seattle Weekly gave me a plaque back [TS]

01:26:05   in 2005 [TS]

01:26:08   no no I'm sorry 2011 okay that gave me a [TS]

01:26:13   gimme a gave me a plaque that said tweet [TS]

01:26:17   of the year last night [TS]

01:26:19   tweeter of the year Wow I have a thanks [TS]

01:26:22   for your service certificate from the [TS]

01:26:26   the Recording Academy for the eight [TS]

01:26:30   years I was on the board and so I come [TS]

01:26:34   up with what I put there was I was King [TS]

01:26:41   Neptune oh that's that that's a hell of [TS]

01:26:44   an honor but you're hopping like [TS]

01:26:47   basically redefine the role of King [TS]

01:26:48   Neptune it's the only honor I've ever [TS]

01:26:50   received - I'll have what if somebody [TS]

01:26:53   said what are your honors like what are [TS]

01:26:54   the things that you would put up there [TS]

01:26:55   for you like Mac tech pod weekly year [TS]

01:26:58   I've done that and it's awful it's awful [TS]

01:27:02   and it's Hollow and I'm sorry I'm gonna [TS]

01:27:03   be holding the Holden Caufield for a [TS]

01:27:05   minute anybody who's been pressed by [TS]

01:27:07   that yeah am I allowed to curse can your [TS]

01:27:08   daughter hear this [TS]

01:27:09   know anybody who's impressed by stuff [TS]

01:27:11   like that can suck a bag of dicks yeah I [TS]

01:27:15   don't I don't acknowledge this it's [TS]

01:27:17   gross it's so gross I mean like I've [TS]

01:27:19   like done stuff I've been places and I [TS]

01:27:21   see any place that I've ever done that [TS]

01:27:23   and all I see is neediness it isn't it [TS]

01:27:26   isn't I mean yes in some ways it is it's [TS]

01:27:28   sort of like the whatever the the Brooks [TS]

01:27:31   Brothers suit or whatever that you wear [TS]

01:27:32   on Wall Street right it's the [TS]

01:27:33   stethoscope it's the thing that shows [TS]

01:27:35   your bona fides it's sound like a Super [TS]

01:27:37   Bowl ring or something like that it's a [TS]

01:27:39   way it's a chunking mechanism for being [TS]

01:27:41   able to say okay you're allowed into [TS]

01:27:43   this this far into the into the [TS]

01:27:45   celebrity area of the greenroom but not [TS]

01:27:48   any further than that and like I just [TS]

01:27:49   I'm sorry I don't think mechanism though [TS]

01:27:53   I'm really Cuban on that but here's part [TS]

01:27:56   of the problem is also that like I [TS]

01:27:58   reject this is a very back to work it's [TS]

01:28:01   another podcast idea was a very back to [TS]

01:28:03   work point but I reject the Nair the [TS]

01:28:05   narrative that life is about a series of [TS]

01:28:08   arrivals because I think that's a [TS]

01:28:09   terrible way to think about life for so [TS]

01:28:12   many reasons and so I think people who [TS]

01:28:15   can quickly conjure up all of this [TS]

01:28:17   things first of all it might be for a [TS]

01:28:18   professional reasons it's a very [TS]

01:28:19   LinkedIn kind of thing to be able to say [TS]

01:28:21   I had [TS]

01:28:22   this position there and I won this award [TS]

01:28:23   there and it's like you know I was able [TS]

01:28:25   to like resume bullet points if I [TS]

01:28:27   doubled revenue by beetle EDD but you [TS]

01:28:29   know and that got me the you know [TS]

01:28:31   salesman of them but like I just feel [TS]

01:28:34   like all of those things encourage not [TS]

01:28:37   only encourage that narration to stay [TS]

01:28:38   alive that narrative about arrivals not [TS]

01:28:41   only encourages that to stay alive it's [TS]

01:28:43   more fuel for that fire but it also [TS]

01:28:44   makes tenth every time you do that [TS]

01:28:46   10,000 people feel shitty about who they [TS]

01:28:47   are because they don't have that stuff [TS]

01:28:48   and they shouldn't and then they [TS]

01:28:50   shouldn't and I don't want to [TS]

01:28:51   participate in that and it bugs me and [TS]

01:28:53   when people get into that stuff and they [TS]

01:28:55   want tell me about who they've met this [TS]

01:28:56   famous and stuff like that and all this [TS]

01:28:57   all this like a multi-level plateau shit [TS]

01:29:01   about like what your what you've done in [TS]

01:29:02   life I run the other way cuz I mean like [TS]

01:29:04   those things that I'm happy that I've [TS]

01:29:05   done in life there's things I'm not [TS]

01:29:06   happy about but like I don't know if you [TS]

01:29:08   call them achievements but like how do I [TS]

01:29:11   say I started a website that very [TS]

01:29:15   quickly accidentally became [TS]

01:29:16   well-regarded amongst people I respect [TS]

01:29:19   who had no idea who I am it certainly [TS]

01:29:21   was well there's not a name for that [TS]

01:29:22   award and who cares these folders award [TS]

01:29:25   well but see it but the point of that is [TS]

01:29:27   that's for me the month is for me that's [TS]

01:29:29   not for you if I if I make that feeling [TS]

01:29:31   for you I'm bragging and I'm not [TS]

01:29:33   bragging I'm just saying like that I [TS]

01:29:35   felt I felt a really good feeling when [TS]

01:29:38   when that became a some one indisputable [TS]

01:29:40   fact and it didn't last forever it's not [TS]

01:29:42   a piece of paper that's a moment and you [TS]

01:29:44   appreciate that the same way you'd [TS]

01:29:45   appreciate a walk in the park with your [TS]

01:29:46   kid so anyways I don't know what I would [TS]

01:29:48   say I would say that I've got a [TS]

01:29:50   bachelor's degree I would say I've done [TS]

01:29:52   thus and such sort of work for thus and [TS]

01:29:54   such long I might say something like I [TS]

01:29:56   might name drop a phrase or two that I [TS]

01:30:01   am associated with but then what does [TS]

01:30:04   that mind me so I don't know what I [TS]

01:30:05   would put on that form before the [TS]

01:30:07   colonel Colonel Kaplan is that right [TS]

01:30:08   yeah inbox zero no it's all good so what [TS]

01:30:17   did you put on the form the good word is [TS]

01:30:19   not enough you got to fill out the form [TS]

01:30:20   so I get them to sign on the line that [TS]

01:30:22   is dotted what did you say what are your [TS]

01:30:23   achievements well I thought about like [TS]

01:30:26   saying hijack your show for a while [TS]

01:30:29   there sorry about that [TS]

01:30:32   at one point in 2006 I think that my [TS]

01:30:39   album was just under the top ten of the [TS]

01:30:43   indie charts you know somewhere around [TS]

01:30:46   12 my dad once in CMJ that made me not [TS]

01:30:51   two years we were on the same page as [TS]

01:30:56   archers of loaf bacon right yes and but [TS]

01:31:00   I mean that that made me happy for so [TS]

01:31:02   long um well I can imagine I mean I [TS]

01:31:06   remember nobody it was just luck but [TS]

01:31:10   that's the kind of thing we were like [TS]

01:31:11   there's no name for that award but if I [TS]

01:31:12   put that on a piece of paper would be [TS]

01:31:13   the saddest thing in the world that's [TS]

01:31:14   for me that's not for you right and the [TS]

01:31:16   thing is I couldn't put that there and [TS]

01:31:18   but what it what it occurred to me well [TS]

01:31:20   I mean what I realized you know because [TS]

01:31:21   that just recently I saw that picture of [TS]

01:31:23   Barbra Streisand famous picture of [TS]

01:31:24   Barbra Streisand sitting in a chair in [TS]

01:31:26   her room that is full of Grammys and [TS]

01:31:28   Oscars yeah and other awards you know [TS]

01:31:31   like whatever the Nestene 60 Grammys [TS]

01:31:48   surprised because there because we live [TS]

01:31:52   in a culture where the word there's been [TS]

01:31:54   this award inflation where everybody [TS]

01:31:56   gets an award right that's what they say [TS]

01:31:58   but I nobody's ever given me an award [TS]

01:32:00   and I don't want a fake award I mean I [TS]

01:32:02   would accept a phony because we invented [TS]

01:32:04   it but and there should be phony Awards [TS]

01:32:07   but threatening to do that but Australia [TS]

01:32:11   talks a big game [TS]

01:32:12   they sure do people threaten all the [TS]

01:32:14   time to do interesting things and then [TS]

01:32:16   they don't do them that's true but likes [TS]

01:32:21   you know all this business of Seattle [TS]

01:32:22   like Oh Seattle is so nice to me or [TS]

01:32:25   whatever and they keep doing all these [TS]

01:32:26   things but I did I I guess I did get a [TS]

01:32:28   certificate that said you are King [TS]

01:32:31   Neptune and had a gold star on it but [TS]

01:32:33   I'm not sure I so anyway I did I all [TS]

01:32:36   opposed King Neptune you sound like you [TS]

01:32:44   might have some kind of like Napoleon or [TS]

01:32:45   as you say Bonaparte [TS]

01:32:46   complex I was King Neptune I had to try [TS]

01:32:50   it well right because that's that mean [TS]

01:32:52   that doesn't mean anything to them that [TS]

01:32:53   sounds like some kind of that you know [TS]

01:32:55   they don't realize the full stature of [TS]

01:32:57   King Neptune like I say that you're [TS]

01:32:59   helping to really redefine the role I [TS]

01:33:00   mean how many times people can you [TS]

01:33:02   really say honestly I've not only been [TS]

01:33:04   King but help redefine what we mean by [TS]

01:33:06   King right right well and and I don't [TS]

01:33:11   I'm not the thing is I'm not sure if you [TS]

01:33:13   because I submitted this application [TS]

01:33:15   completely sincerely but I'm not sure if [TS]

01:33:19   you work for the army of whether or not [TS]

01:33:22   you're gonna read my resume and think [TS]

01:33:24   this is a joke question your judgment a [TS]

01:33:28   little bit what right like oh you're a [TS]

01:33:31   civilian who's been proposed by one of [TS]

01:33:34   our faculty to come to this thing and [TS]

01:33:35   you and your resume is you're in a band [TS]

01:33:39   your subway car really material for this [TS]

01:33:46   particular gust occasion yeah right so [TS]

01:33:49   let me get this straight we're gonna [TS]

01:33:50   have people come in here from [TS]

01:33:52   universities and think tanks I'm gonna [TS]

01:33:54   read that off a car yeah but also to say [TS]

01:34:00   this is a old friend of mine john [TS]

01:34:03   roderick he had some podcasts a podcast [TS]

01:34:05   is something to listen to so he recently [TS]

01:34:08   kinking up to that's pretty we came for [TS]

01:34:10   that's right Seattle's King Neptune he [TS]

01:34:12   once did a series of short films for [TS]

01:34:16   visit Seattle yeah and see you guy yeah [TS]

01:34:20   he invented an award called the phony [TS]

01:34:23   award which he hasn't won his father's [TS]

01:34:28   45 yeah that's right he once had lunch [TS]

01:34:31   on the USS Kentucky but no one there [TS]

01:34:33   will a vow that he was there because [TS]

01:34:40   yeah that's right have you ever heard of [TS]

01:34:42   a me man well he's friends with her the [TS]

01:34:46   video game the song at the end of the [TS]

01:34:48   video game that's a close personal [TS]

01:34:50   friend of mine yeah that guy hazel [TS]

01:34:51   friend I've been on oh yeah I wanted [TS]

01:34:55   seven times Joe [TS]

01:34:57   cruising people that was the other thing [TS]

01:35:02   there were a couple of things I tried to [TS]

01:35:03   put on there and the only thing I could [TS]

01:35:05   say about myself was attendee [TS]

01:35:10   [Laughter] [TS]