Roderick on the Line

00:00:01 ◼   ► [Music] [TS]

00:00:04 ◼   ► hello [TS]

00:00:06 ◼   ► hi John hi Marilyn how's it going [TS]

00:00:09 ◼   ► oh pretty good boy were you up making [TS]

00:00:13 ◼   ► bacon no but I did I went to sleep early [TS]

00:00:18 ◼   ► and then I woke up the middle of the [TS]

00:00:19 ◼   ► night that's how yeah no no no that's a [TS]

00:00:24 ◼   ► house-wide struggle for us [TS]

00:00:26 ◼   ► oh they go to bed early and then get up [TS]

00:00:28 ◼   ► in the middle of the night because you [TS]

00:00:30 ◼   ► know what's your cycle is off and you're [TS]

00:00:32 ◼   ► like yeah it's like it's 7:30 and I'm [TS]

00:00:34 ◼   ► tired and you're like you gotta power [TS]

00:00:36 ◼   ► through till 10:00 yeah but I I was like [TS]

00:00:40 ◼   ► I'm going to bed at midnight yeah like a [TS]

00:00:43 ◼   ► like I keep planning like a normal like [TS]

00:00:48 ◼   ► a square and like a regular and then at [TS]

00:00:51 ◼   ► 2:45 a.m. I popped awake like everybody [TS]

00:01:00 ◼   ► yeah it's when I get up to urinate at [TS]

00:01:01 ◼   ► some point during the night that all of [TS]

00:01:03 ◼   ► my anxiety comes flowing through and now [TS]

00:01:04 ◼   ► I've made it a habit so it's working out [TS]

00:01:06 ◼   ► real nice and a regular oh so you get up [TS]

00:01:08 ◼   ► and yell a little bit midnight midnight [TS]

00:01:10 ◼   ► time just you and your anxieties sure [TS]

00:01:12 ◼   ► for me it's like between 2:00 and 4:00 [TS]

00:01:15 ◼   ► get up pee like a gentleman happy once [TS]

00:01:17 ◼   ► in the night usually and then at this [TS]

00:01:20 ◼   ► point I'm sure that'll change I'll have [TS]

00:01:22 ◼   ► many more opportunities for this in the [TS]

00:01:23 ◼   ► future but yeah that could be five [TS]

00:01:26 ◼   ► minute to one hour to longer like the [TS]

00:01:29 ◼   ► thing for me you probably yeah you don't [TS]

00:01:32 ◼   ► get that well you know it's hard to [TS]

00:01:34 ◼   ► think about anxiety is it's hard for me [TS]

00:01:38 ◼   ► to I think this is probably true for a [TS]

00:01:41 ◼   ► lot of people it was it was for a long [TS]

00:01:43 ◼   ► time hard for me to know what it felt [TS]

00:01:45 ◼   ► like because it would mask itself as [TS]

00:01:49 ◼   ► other things and I think I still have [TS]

00:01:51 ◼   ► that problem I can't tell what I'm I [TS]

00:01:53 ◼   ► don't it's very rare when I can sit and [TS]

00:01:56 ◼   ► say like oh wait I'm feeling anxiety [TS]

00:01:59 ◼   ► mm-hm [TS]

00:01:59 ◼   ► it's like it always comes you know it [TS]

00:02:02 ◼   ► pads it on little cat feet I wish I had [TS]

00:02:06 ◼   ► the same thing in Reverse where for the [TS]

00:02:09 ◼   ► longest time I mean I've had a lot of [TS]

00:02:10 ◼   ► people in my life with various kinds of [TS]

00:02:12 ◼   ► depression [TS]

00:02:13 ◼   ► treated and untreated like well maybe a [TS]

00:02:16 ◼   ► plurality like a lot huh and I always [TS]

00:02:19 ◼   ► and I always felt like I could say with [TS]

00:02:21 ◼   ► some confidence I don't I don't have [TS]

00:02:22 ◼   ► depression I have anything but [TS]

00:02:23 ◼   ► depression I'm unhappy guy and I said if [TS]

00:02:26 ◼   ► anything I have the opposite of [TS]

00:02:27 ◼   ► depression I get very anxious and it [TS]

00:02:29 ◼   ► wasn't until fairly recently that more [TS]

00:02:30 ◼   ► and more people would say that at least [TS]

00:02:31 ◼   ► that I heard would say well you know [TS]

00:02:33 ◼   ► anxiety is a big side effect of [TS]

00:02:35 ◼   ► depression you know that there's there [TS]

00:02:40 ◼   ► fruit from the similar tree [TS]

00:02:41 ◼   ► my problem is the habitat the habit of [TS]

00:02:42 ◼   ► anxiety you know and not to be a [TS]

00:02:45 ◼   ► Buddhist but like if you have a bad [TS]

00:02:46 ◼   ► thought and you know kind of let it pass [TS]

00:02:49 ◼   ► away you're okay the problem is if you [TS]

00:02:51 ◼   ► make it part of your habit and I think [TS]

00:02:53 ◼   ► that's true for almost any kind of [TS]

00:02:55 ◼   ► emotional or mental deficit is like we [TS]

00:02:57 ◼   ► can really hey Happy New Year this is [TS]

00:02:59 ◼   ► good stuff yeah do you have to like [TS]

00:03:06 ◼   ► touch the doorknob every time you go by [TS]

00:03:09 ◼   ► it or anything like that no I had a very [TS]

00:03:13 ◼   ► I don't think so I don't think so I do [TS]

00:03:16 ◼   ► get intrusive thoughts not them like you [TS]

00:03:22 ◼   ► know I want to have sex with a baby and [TS]

00:03:23 ◼   ► throw it on the train tracks kind of [TS]

00:03:25 ◼   ► thought that some people get and I don't [TS]

00:03:26 ◼   ► get like well it is interesting [TS]

00:03:28 ◼   ► well I mean Maria Bamford talks about [TS]

00:03:29 ◼   ► this a lot she has she has really [TS]

00:03:31 ◼   ► intrusive very bizarre sexual thoughts [TS]

00:03:36 ◼   ► that she doesn't want to have it's not [TS]

00:03:37 ◼   ► anything she wants to do but once the [TS]

00:03:38 ◼   ► ideas in her head you know she's made [TS]

00:03:40 ◼   ► great comedy out of that I don't get [TS]

00:03:42 ◼   ► that I do get this sort of like I can't [TS]

00:03:45 ◼   ► stop thinking a thought thing and it's [TS]

00:03:48 ◼   ► something that's all I can do to pull [TS]

00:03:49 ◼   ► myself out of it [TS]

00:03:51 ◼   ► you're a Muller aren't you but you know [TS]

00:03:54 ◼   ► I do mall I don't you Mon you Stu I do a [TS]

00:03:59 ◼   ► little I do a little bit's doing I do [TS]

00:04:01 ◼   ► some mowing yeah I do a brood I think [TS]

00:04:07 ◼   ► special night time toadstool just for [TS]

00:04:10 ◼   ► that the coffee girl gave me but but I I [TS]

00:04:19 ◼   ► feel like a lot of that is managed now a [TS]

00:04:23 ◼   ► lot of that a lot of that stuff because [TS]

00:04:25 ◼   ► you know the thing about depression [TS]

00:04:26 ◼   ► right is that you think everybody's [TS]

00:04:27 ◼   ► against you too or that it's the the [TS]

00:04:29 ◼   ► whole world is like allied yeah [TS]

00:04:32 ◼   ► everybody's the worst possible side of [TS]

00:04:35 ◼   ► you yeah and you're the you're the goat [TS]

00:04:38 ◼   ► in in every scenario and I feel like the [TS]

00:04:41 ◼   ► the the medicine I'm taking now has [TS]

00:04:44 ◼   ► relieved quite a bit of that so I don't [TS]

00:04:46 ◼   ► spend all afternoon going like bad but I [TS]

00:04:51 ◼   ► do still have I still have those [TS]

00:04:53 ◼   ► tendencies uh-huh but I think I think [TS]

00:04:57 ◼   ► you know more than anything it's just [TS]

00:04:59 ◼   ► still that it's still that Parliament of [TS]

00:05:01 ◼   ► of nuge's all the little all the little [TS]

00:05:08 ◼   ► advocates for for irrelevant [TS]

00:05:13 ◼   ► up the wrong channel kind of kind of [TS]

00:05:18 ◼   ► small problems that just collect and [TS]

00:05:19 ◼   ► form in like impassable problems well [TS]

00:05:23 ◼   ► it's like there's no there's nothing in [TS]

00:05:25 ◼   ► the way here you know but but there's [TS]

00:05:27 ◼   ► you know there's somebody that's like [TS]

00:05:28 ◼   ► well we don't have a single sharpened [TS]

00:05:30 ◼   ► pencil in the house and it's just like [TS]

00:05:33 ◼   ► how did that become the thing that keeps [TS]

00:05:36 ◼   ► me from finishing my record album and [TS]

00:05:39 ◼   ► lately you know and it's maybe around [TS]

00:05:41 ◼   ► the new year but but it's also it also [TS]

00:05:44 ◼   ► it also feels like I'm I I have these I [TS]

00:05:49 ◼   ► have these periods where I am seized [TS]

00:05:52 ◼   ► with it with energy and I say now we're [TS]

00:05:55 ◼   ► gonna get to the bottom of this [TS]

00:05:56 ◼   ► now we're gonna here we go you know my [TS]

00:05:59 ◼   ► dad would do this my whole Jack does it [TS]

00:06:02 ◼   ► it's like open up [TS]

00:06:04 ◼   ► everybody done set your boots on like [TS]

00:06:10 ◼   ► that thing that went around instagram [TS]

00:06:12 ◼   ► for a while pom-pom it's like okay [TS]

00:06:15 ◼   ► alright alright stop it but but I had [TS]

00:06:19 ◼   ► one of those recently where I marched [TS]

00:06:20 ◼   ► around and said like okay let's figure [TS]

00:06:24 ◼   ► this out we've just got a couple of [TS]

00:06:26 ◼   ► things to do and why is it such a [TS]

00:06:28 ◼   ► problem and you know I like created some [TS]

00:06:31 ◼   ► folders on my desktop I made some [TS]

00:06:35 ◼   ► commitments with some people over coffee [TS]

00:06:37 ◼   ► breakfast psa's I you know I'd like [TS]

00:06:43 ◼   ► planted some flags but I still am I'm [TS]

00:06:49 ◼   ► still standing here with my same self [TS]

00:06:51 ◼   ► and still everyday like not not taking [TS]

00:06:58 ◼   ► first steps you know not like actually [TS]

00:07:03 ◼   ► moving in any direction and it it uh [TS]

00:07:06 ◼   ► it's exasperating you know I've got the [TS]

00:07:09 ◼   ► same I have the same goals but you know [TS]

00:07:13 ◼   ► I'm bad at having goals but I have the [TS]

00:07:15 ◼   ► same in your checklist I got my [TS]

00:07:17 ◼   ► checklist is the same way is not the [TS]

00:07:19 ◼   ► same thing you've got you're like you [TS]

00:07:20 ◼   ► three things on your list that's the [TS]

00:07:22 ◼   ► same thing and it's like 12 years of [TS]

00:07:23 ◼   ► haunting me I can't abandon that I get [TS]

00:07:28 ◼   ► all this advice from well-meaning [TS]

00:07:29 ◼   ► friends well if you haven't finished it [TS]

00:07:31 ◼   ► throw it away cuz just get on get on [TS]

00:07:34 ◼   ► with it it's like I can't yeah so but [TS]

00:07:38 ◼   ► but all it's doing is torturing me and [TS]

00:07:40 ◼   ► what is it what kind of ways that to [TS]

00:07:42 ◼   ► live and so I so is is that where's the [TS]

00:07:44 ◼   ► anxiety like in a way anxiety is all [TS]

00:07:47 ◼   ► over it it's like sticky with anxiety [TS]

00:07:49 ◼   ► mm-hmm but it's not but it doesn't like [TS]

00:07:53 ◼   ► it doesn't jump out and it's like Joker [TS]

00:07:56 ◼   ► costume or its I always feel like [TS]

00:07:59 ◼   ► anxiety is kind of dressed like harlot [TS]

00:08:01 ◼   ► the new version of Harlequin I'm like I [TS]

00:08:10 ◼   ► just feel like that's hard [TS]

00:08:12 ◼   ► and that's anxiety for me I don't know [TS]

00:08:15 ◼   ► enough about her to know [TS]

00:08:16 ◼   ► okay yeah does she have web does she [TS]

00:08:19 ◼   ► make webs complicated she she treated [TS]

00:08:25 ◼   ► the Joker at Arkham Asylum and she [TS]

00:08:29 ◼   ► basically was very she found herself [TS]

00:08:32 ◼   ► very attracted to his case and the [TS]

00:08:35 ◼   ► celebrity of his case and she got really [TS]

00:08:38 ◼   ► played by the Joker and she got some [TS]

00:08:42 ◼   ► Joker on her yeah yeah and she she [TS]

00:08:44 ◼   ► helped him escape and then I haven't [TS]

00:08:48 ◼   ► kept up but that's the origin and which [TS]

00:08:51 ◼   ► is actually really good comic is you [TS]

00:08:53 ◼   ► know that basically now they're in this [TS]

00:08:54 ◼   ► this very kind of abusive codependent [TS]

00:08:57 ◼   ► relationship where she wants to impress [TS]

00:09:00 ◼   ► him she's gonna be the one who kills [TS]

00:09:01 ◼   ► Batman he's like no nobody's allowed to [TS]

00:09:03 ◼   ► kill Batman but me and I'm not gonna [TS]

00:09:04 ◼   ► kill him cuz they we need each other [TS]

00:09:06 ◼   ► right and so she doesn't get the gist of [TS]

00:09:09 ◼   ► how to please him and you know she does [TS]

00:09:12 ◼   ► sexy things and he's sitting there [TS]

00:09:14 ◼   ► crumpling up his plans and getting all [TS]

00:09:15 ◼   ► frustrated and you know he that she [TS]

00:09:18 ◼   ► doesn't get the depth of his jokes and [TS]

00:09:20 ◼   ► so their relationship is very trying I [TS]

00:09:23 ◼   ► don't know what that's like in the movie [TS]

00:09:24 ◼   ► because I refused to see that movie but [TS]

00:09:25 ◼   ► that's the Harlequin in the TV show in [TS]

00:09:27 ◼   ► the comics and what is the there's there [TS]

00:09:30 ◼   ► a Harley Quinn movie she's in the movie [TS]

00:09:34 ◼   ► Suicide Squad played by the wonderful [TS]

00:09:36 ◼   ► Margot Robbie Murphy mmm-hmm really hmm [TS]

00:09:42 ◼   ► you know there's a tendency you've [TS]

00:09:44 ◼   ► probably never noticed this there's a [TS]

00:09:45 ◼   ► tendency sometimes to really heavily [TS]

00:09:46 ◼   ► sexualize comic book women and they went [TS]

00:09:50 ◼   ► pretty crazy with it in that movie [TS]

00:09:51 ◼   ► apparently is that a good [TS]

00:09:55 ◼   ► personification of anxiety for me or [TS]

00:09:57 ◼   ► should I pick another one oh well I [TS]

00:10:01 ◼   ► think you know because of the Goldwater [TS]

00:10:04 ◼   ► amendment like I am NOT allowed to [TS]

00:10:06 ◼   ► diagnose you from a distance as we say [TS]

00:10:08 ◼   ► but it seems to me if I were gonna dumb [TS]

00:10:12 ◼   ► this down in a non john roderick way i [TS]

00:10:14 ◼   ► would say you have you seem to have not [TS]

00:10:18 ◼   ► merely a critical voice but as you put [TS]

00:10:22 ◼   ► it a parliament of critical voices that [TS]

00:10:25 ◼   ► are at once on message and contradictory [TS]

00:10:29 ◼   ► then that drives you so you have mini [TS]

00:10:32 ◼   ► Harley's Quinn in some way but I don't [TS]

00:10:34 ◼   ► know if you have you have to decide you [TS]

00:10:36 ◼   ► know who that is but you know what [TS]

00:10:39 ◼   ► people say like when you're trying to [TS]

00:10:41 ◼   ► face this stuff down it does help to I [TS]

00:10:43 ◼   ► identify this is really good radio it [TS]

00:10:46 ◼   ► does help to identify that voice or [TS]

00:10:48 ◼   ► those voices and then decide how you [TS]

00:10:50 ◼   ► feel about what that person is saying [TS]

00:10:52 ◼   ► it's like imagine when that when you [TS]

00:10:53 ◼   ► when you catch yourself having those [TS]

00:10:55 ◼   ► critical thoughts or those like you know [TS]

00:10:57 ◼   ► you're such a dummy you did this dump [TS]

00:10:59 ◼   ► thing you'll never do anything good you [TS]

00:11:00 ◼   ► never fit whatever whatever your flavor [TS]

00:11:02 ◼   ► that is and it's it's a different [TS]

00:11:03 ◼   ► personal hell for everybody that you try [TS]

00:11:06 ◼   ► to sort of identify like okay who is [TS]

00:11:07 ◼   ► that is that my dad is that is that some [TS]

00:11:11 ◼   ► kind of like um is that my boss Randy [TS]

00:11:13 ◼   ► from the restaurant cuz always drawing [TS]

00:11:15 ◼   ► people all stepfather's and and [TS]

00:11:17 ◼   ► restaurant managers are named Randy oh [TS]

00:11:19 ◼   ► yeah so it helps to identify that you [TS]

00:11:22 ◼   ► don't have to give it a name you know to [TS]

00:11:23 ◼   ► get you know wacky about it but to go [TS]

00:11:26 ◼   ► and then decide and this is this is the [TS]

00:11:27 ◼   ► pro level is to decide how you feel [TS]

00:11:30 ◼   ► about that voice being there and whether [TS]

00:11:31 ◼   ► you're gonna listen to it and give it [TS]

00:11:33 ◼   ► any credibility what about having it be [TS]

00:11:36 ◼   ► an entire Suicide Squad oh we like the [TS]

00:11:40 ◼   ► mean Joker with the with the braces or [TS]

00:11:41 ◼   ► whatever I say I don't know enough about [TS]

00:11:43 ◼   ► the Suicide Squad super hero villain [TS]

00:11:48 ◼   ► team and they bring their forces [TS]

00:11:51 ◼   ► together upon the Parliament that whole [TS]

00:11:57 ◼   ► like the voices in my head or a [TS]

00:11:58 ◼   ► parliament is actually a it's actually a [TS]

00:12:01 ◼   ► sort of a thing I grabbed from Bismarck [TS]

00:12:04 ◼   ► he described his own his own in her life [TS]

00:12:09 ◼   ► yes and find he probably makes this [TS]

00:12:11 ◼   ► before but this mark huh he his and it's [TS]

00:12:17 ◼   ► it's not his you know Bismarck is so [TS]

00:12:20 ◼   ► full of wonderful aphorisms that it's [TS]

00:12:26 ◼   ► sometimes hard to track down all of his [TS]

00:12:30 ◼   ► all of the great lines from from his [TS]

00:12:34 ◼   ► sort of [TS]

00:12:36 ◼   ► catalog because he just if you if you [TS]

00:12:38 ◼   ► read it if you read his his aphorisms he [TS]

00:12:41 ◼   ► reads like sunsoo you know he's just [TS]

00:12:43 ◼   ► like he's full of full of great little [TS]

00:12:48 ◼   ► little political jobs but he does at [TS]

00:12:51 ◼   ► some point describe his own in her life [TS]

00:12:53 ◼   ► as being this reichstag of of [TS]

00:12:58 ◼   ► disagreeable in ourselves and so when i [TS]

00:13:04 ◼   ► talk about it it's really a direct grab [TS]

00:13:07 ◼   ► okay because out of on you know he he i [TS]

00:13:14 ◼   ► dig his stuff i really you know i [TS]

00:13:17 ◼   ► celebrate his entire catalog sure for [TS]

00:13:20 ◼   ► such a fan name his last three albums [TS]

00:13:23 ◼   ► yeah that's a really good painting I'll [TS]

00:13:26 ◼   ► use that um I feel like from a remove [TS]

00:13:30 ◼   ► like if you look at other people and [TS]

00:13:31 ◼   ► other people's Hang Ups other people who [TS]

00:13:33 ◼   ► had the hang-ups that you do not have [TS]

00:13:34 ◼   ► everything looks simple and I think this [TS]

00:13:37 ◼   ► is from my own POV that's definitely [TS]

00:13:40 ◼   ► true with procrastination where people [TS]

00:13:42 ◼   ► who don't procrastinate have no sympathy [TS]

00:13:47 ◼   ► or really understanding of what it's [TS]

00:13:50 ◼   ► like to be somebody who procrastinate [TS]

00:13:51 ◼   ► sand explaining it doesn't help because [TS]

00:13:54 ◼   ► I mean it's like it's like you you've [TS]

00:13:57 ◼   ► got this extra sense as somebody who [TS]

00:13:59 ◼   ► procrastinate or whatever whatever one's [TS]

00:14:01 ◼   ► personal hang-up is right so like you [TS]

00:14:02 ◼   ► you see you see stuff in the tea leaves [TS]

00:14:05 ◼   ► that other people don't see you're [TS]

00:14:06 ◼   ► motivated in ways that are very exotic [TS]

00:14:09 ◼   ► and unknowable to people who don't have [TS]

00:14:12 ◼   ► that but you look at it so like let's [TS]

00:14:15 ◼   ► say I don't want to trigger anybody here [TS]

00:14:17 ◼   ► but like it's been reported that someone [TS]

00:14:20 ◼   ► very highly placed in the US government [TS]

00:14:23 ◼   ► has a morbid fear of stairs and [TS]

00:14:29 ◼   ► basically grates and so go on so I heard [TS]

00:14:34 ◼   ► about this and I want read a little more [TS]

00:14:35 ◼   ► about it and again we because the [TS]

00:14:37 ◼   ► Goldwater we're not allowed to diagnose [TS]

00:14:38 ◼   ► from a distance but it's very [TS]

00:14:39 ◼   ► interesting this is a person who is very [TS]

00:14:41 ◼   ► scared of going down stairs in [TS]

00:14:43 ◼   ► particular is a difference there's of [TS]

00:14:44 ◼   ► one phobia about going down stairs [TS]

00:14:45 ◼   ► there's another stair climbing based [TS]

00:14:47 ◼   ► fear of going up stairs [TS]

00:14:49 ◼   ► but this person in addition to that is [TS]

00:14:51 ◼   ► terrified of falling down steps but also [TS]

00:14:54 ◼   ► is as they say a germaphobe so it [TS]

00:14:56 ◼   ► doesn't like to touch the rail but has [TS]

00:14:58 ◼   ► to touch the rail in order to waste that [TS]

00:15:01 ◼   ► other fear now this gets very very [TS]

00:15:02 ◼   ► complicated so I don't have that I I [TS]

00:15:05 ◼   ► don't see you know a screenshot of [TS]

00:15:08 ◼   ► Teletubbies and and get a tiny dick like [TS]

00:15:11 ◼   ► I don't get like so I look at them and [TS]

00:15:13 ◼   ► say well that seems very exotic I don't [TS]

00:15:15 ◼   ► have a morbid fear of snakes I have what [TS]

00:15:17 ◼   ► I would consider to be a very normal [TS]

00:15:18 ◼   ► fear of snakes which is like if there's [TS]

00:15:20 ◼   ► a snake scared but I rarely in my life [TS]

00:15:24 ◼   ► have imagined that there are snakes in [TS]

00:15:26 ◼   ► places where snakes never are but [TS]

00:15:28 ◼   ► somebody who has that fear like on a [TS]

00:15:30 ◼   ► plane like on a plane I'll kind of [TS]

00:15:32 ◼   ► motherfucking plane I'm not sure exactly [TS]

00:15:34 ◼   ► where I'm going with this but but I [TS]

00:15:35 ◼   ► think I feel like if I see this in [TS]

00:15:37 ◼   ► myself I see in others I think one of [TS]

00:15:39 ◼   ► the big problems with all this stuff is [TS]

00:15:40 ◼   ► the repetition so like if you if [TS]

00:15:43 ◼   ► somebody and this is again getting a [TS]

00:15:45 ◼   ► little bit into the mindfulness and [TS]

00:15:47 ◼   ► cognitive psychology angle but like if [TS]

00:15:49 ◼   ► you're somewhere where there's shit tons [TS]

00:15:50 ◼   ► I'm at this point I'm just kind of [TS]

00:15:52 ◼   ► quoting this guy named Robert Wright who [TS]

00:15:54 ◼   ► wrote a book recently about Buddhism in [TS]

00:15:55 ◼   ► cognitive psychology or not cognizant if [TS]

00:15:57 ◼   ► I'm sorry evolutionary psychology but he [TS]

00:16:00 ◼   ► says if you're in an area where you know [TS]

00:16:01 ◼   ► there's tons of rattlesnakes and lots of [TS]

00:16:03 ◼   ► people die from rattlesnakes for some [TS]

00:16:05 ◼   ► reason you can understand why you would [TS]

00:16:07 ◼   ► be very cautious and even like imagine [TS]

00:16:10 ◼   ► that there's a snake when there's not a [TS]

00:16:11 ◼   ► snake because even if you're scared of [TS]

00:16:13 ◼   ► snakes and there's not one there 99 [TS]

00:16:16 ◼   ► times out of 100 the one time that there [TS]

00:16:18 ◼   ► is it served you well from an [TS]

00:16:19 ◼   ► evolutionary standpoint but in a modern [TS]

00:16:21 ◼   ► society maybe that doesn't make the most [TS]

00:16:23 ◼   ► sense so like I feel like the one common [TS]

00:16:27 ◼   ► thing through all of this is they first [TS]

00:16:28 ◼   ► of all there's there is a deficit in [TS]

00:16:31 ◼   ► perception and cognition but then [TS]

00:16:33 ◼   ► there's also the repetition I think it's [TS]

00:16:35 ◼   ► the repetition that kills us and the [TS]

00:16:36 ◼   ► feeling that the repetition is out of [TS]

00:16:38 ◼   ► our control so having a thought that you [TS]

00:16:40 ◼   ► keep thinking it's making you unhappy [TS]

00:16:41 ◼   ► but then somehow you it's like pressing [TS]

00:16:45 ◼   ► a bruise you can't help but revisit this [TS]

00:16:47 ◼   ► thing that you hate because it feels so [TS]

00:16:50 ◼   ► much a part of you does that make any [TS]

00:16:52 ◼   ► sense yeah and even if even or [TS]

00:16:56 ◼   ► especially if you're scared of snakes or [TS]

00:16:57 ◼   ► you're worried about throwing a baby on [TS]

00:16:58 ◼   ► a train tracks [TS]

00:16:59 ◼   ► like you don't have to have according to [TS]

00:17:01 ◼   ► Hoyle OCD to [TS]

00:17:02 ◼   ► be very troubled by this thing were you [TS]

00:17:04 ◼   ► going like like I have this thought I [TS]

00:17:05 ◼   ► hate it I feel crazy I hate feeling [TS]

00:17:07 ◼   ► crazy I hate this entire thing but I [TS]

00:17:09 ◼   ► can't stop and I don't know why that's [TS]

00:17:11 ◼   ► that's the part that I think it's so [TS]

00:17:12 ◼   ► frustrating is you don't you know it [TS]

00:17:14 ◼   ► keeps happening but you don't know how [TS]

00:17:16 ◼   ► to stop it and I think that's when [TS]

00:17:17 ◼   ► something goes from being inconvenient [TS]

00:17:19 ◼   ► frustrating and troublesome for a moment [TS]

00:17:22 ◼   ► to being something a little bit more [TS]

00:17:24 ◼   ► chronic and what in particular I think [TS]

00:17:29 ◼   ► for me is is it makes it like chronic is [TS]

00:17:34 ◼   ► that the the thoughts themselves my [TS]

00:17:38 ◼   ► whatever pantheon of thoughts [TS]

00:17:40 ◼   ► none of them are unreasonable it's not [TS]

00:17:43 ◼   ► like I'm scared to go downstairs I'm not [TS]

00:17:45 ◼   ► afraid of snakes in any way shape or [TS]

00:17:47 ◼   ► form I seek out snakes all of my like [TS]

00:17:52 ◼   ► throw a baby on the tracks like sort of [TS]

00:17:56 ◼   ► ejaculatory thoughts are all like [TS]

00:17:59 ◼   ► interesting and fun it seems to me like [TS]

00:18:01 ◼   ► you talked about your ability your [TS]

00:18:04 ◼   ► desire you you you are so historically [TS]

00:18:07 ◼   ► through your life you've been so [TS]

00:18:07 ◼   ► interested in building your own mental [TS]

00:18:10 ◼   ► and emotional world that you would seek [TS]

00:18:11 ◼   ► it out to the exclusion of other [TS]

00:18:12 ◼   ► people's emotional worlds yeah well like [TS]

00:18:15 ◼   ► your internal thing yeah the whole like [TS]

00:18:18 ◼   ► the fantasies aren't problem there [TS]

00:18:21 ◼   ► aren't problems for me and also none of [TS]

00:18:24 ◼   ► the thoughts feel abnormal they all feel [TS]

00:18:26 ◼   ► normal this was the you know what we [TS]

00:18:28 ◼   ► when we used to talk about depression [TS]

00:18:30 ◼   ► when it was really my my bete noire it [TS]

00:18:34 ◼   ► was just that the feet that the things I [TS]

00:18:36 ◼   ► was telling myself all seemed perfectly [TS]

00:18:38 ◼   ► reasonable I was a trash garbage person [TS]

00:18:43 ◼   ► and and I could demonstrate why and my [TS]

00:18:46 ◼   ► friends did hate me and I could show you [TS]

00:18:48 ◼   ► the evidence so the the thoughts that [TS]

00:18:51 ◼   ► plagued me are all these thoughts that [TS]

00:18:54 ◼   ► if I try and apply a critical faculty to [TS]

00:18:57 ◼   ► I come up with lossing all the more [TS]

00:19:00 ◼   ► normal and legit yeah it's just like oh [TS]

00:19:03 ◼   ► well I mean obviously if there is a [TS]

00:19:05 ◼   ► deficit of pencils here I do need five [TS]

00:19:08 ◼   ► new folders on my computer that are that [TS]

00:19:12 ◼   ► are named and numbered [TS]

00:19:14 ◼   ► and until I do that that I can't begin [TS]

00:19:17 ◼   ► and and having done it now I feel like [TS]

00:19:21 ◼   ► I've done some pretty good work and I [TS]

00:19:23 ◼   ► need to take a little break and so I've [TS]

00:19:26 ◼   ► got you know I've got these I've got [TS]

00:19:28 ◼   ► these files and that that organizes my [TS]

00:19:32 ◼   ► next step but you know the actual next [TS]

00:19:35 ◼   ► step is pretty big job I should probably [TS]

00:19:38 ◼   ► have a sandwich first and so those [TS]

00:19:41 ◼   ► aren't those aren't easy to say look man [TS]

00:19:46 ◼   ► I keep coming back to this this like [TS]

00:19:50 ◼   ► this this thought that is intrusive that [TS]

00:19:52 ◼   ► if that's that I can see is irrational [TS]

00:19:57 ◼   ► it's that I keep that I am but as you as [TS]

00:20:00 ◼   ► you described like I'm totally locked in [TS]

00:20:03 ◼   ► a pattern [TS]

00:20:03 ◼   ► it's absolutely incapacitating it is [TS]

00:20:06 ◼   ► something that feels like there's a [TS]

00:20:09 ◼   ► solution to but-but-but what you were [TS]

00:20:11 ◼   ► describing which is people that don't [TS]

00:20:13 ◼   ► share that that don't share a morbid [TS]

00:20:19 ◼   ► fear of stairs or germs feeling like [TS]

00:20:21 ◼   ► well that seems pretty easy to get over [TS]

00:20:23 ◼   ► or at least pretty easy to work around [TS]

00:20:25 ◼   ► now you take you take in that case like [TS]

00:20:27 ◼   ► you take normal precautions you wear [TS]

00:20:30 ◼   ► like oops or you know or whatever just [TS]

00:20:32 ◼   ► wash your hands often enough but like [TS]

00:20:35 ◼   ► yeah exactly that you would say like [TS]

00:20:36 ◼   ► when people look at somebody who has an [TS]

00:20:38 ◼   ► affliction like that they go like you're [TS]

00:20:40 ◼   ► making a problem out of something that [TS]

00:20:41 ◼   ► is not a problem and for that to become [TS]

00:20:43 ◼   ► pathological is not understandable to me [TS]

00:20:45 ◼   ► one when you and I first met and you [TS]

00:20:48 ◼   ► were the Internet's Merlin man remember [TS]

00:20:52 ◼   ► when you were Merlin man I do I do [TS]

00:20:53 ◼   ► he's stuck in my shoe it was a wonderful [TS]

00:20:56 ◼   ► time yeah and I remember you know you [TS]

00:21:00 ◼   ► were you were building a name for [TS]

00:21:03 ◼   ► yourself as a Productivity guru and I [TS]

00:21:07 ◼   ► had that in the inside insight into you [TS]

00:21:11 ◼   ► where you were you were trying out all [TS]

00:21:13 ◼   ► those methods you were discovering all [TS]

00:21:15 ◼   ► that stuff because you really were [TS]

00:21:16 ◼   ► trying to solve actual an actual problem [TS]

00:21:19 ◼   ► for yourself yeah which was I mean you [TS]

00:21:22 ◼   ► weren't just like let me go out and test [TS]

00:21:23 ◼   ► all these options for my website you are [TS]

00:21:26 ◼   ► like how do [TS]

00:21:27 ◼   ► how do I solve this problem how do I [TS]

00:21:29 ◼   ► solve for X which is that I want to be [TS]

00:21:31 ◼   ► more productive I mean I eventually [TS]

00:21:33 ◼   ► became broken as a vocation but I came [TS]

00:21:36 ◼   ► at it honestly which was that I felt [TS]

00:21:38 ◼   ► like I mean if you had to put it in a [TS]

00:21:40 ◼   ► non like negative way it would be that I [TS]

00:21:42 ◼   ► always had the sense that I was capable [TS]

00:21:45 ◼   ► of doing the seemingly basic things [TS]

00:21:48 ◼   ► better but it was always challenging to [TS]

00:21:50 ◼   ► me and I wondered was there a fairly [TS]

00:21:52 ◼   ► light infrastructure I could introduce [TS]

00:21:53 ◼   ► and then when I noticed the [TS]

00:21:55 ◼   ► infrastructure is getting too heavy I [TS]

00:21:56 ◼   ► try to pull back and go no no no just [TS]

00:21:58 ◼   ► even if this is your job this is too [TS]

00:21:59 ◼   ► much infrastructure well sure I remember [TS]

00:22:02 ◼   ► the wall of post-it notes the the [TS]

00:22:05 ◼   ► infamous are not infamous because it [TS]

00:22:08 ◼   ► wasn't really famous it was just you [TS]

00:22:10 ◼   ► know like at your house you had stuff on [TS]

00:22:11 ◼   ► post-it notes and it became a real wall [TS]

00:22:17 ◼   ► like yeah that is allow there are a lot [TS]

00:22:20 ◼   ► of thoughts up there and some of those [TS]

00:22:22 ◼   ► post-it notes just said things on them [TS]

00:22:23 ◼   ► like go get more post-it notes and and [TS]

00:22:28 ◼   ► I'm the same way and the for the problem [TS]

00:22:30 ◼   ► with my repetitive thoughts or my or the [TS]

00:22:33 ◼   ► stumbling blocks is that it seems to [TS]

00:22:35 ◼   ► other people who don't have the problem [TS]

00:22:37 ◼   ► like it is just a Productivity problem [TS]

00:22:41 ◼   ► or cementation problem yeah like all you [TS]

00:22:45 ◼   ► need is a plan or a system you got and [TS]

00:22:47 ◼   ► all that you've got all the tools and [TS]

00:22:48 ◼   ► you've got the will there's no reason [TS]

00:22:50 ◼   ► that you can't just go make a lawn mower [TS]

00:22:53 ◼   ► engine today [TS]

00:22:54 ◼   ► yeah put put some folders on your thing [TS]

00:22:56 ◼   ► or here's a book that helped me or you [TS]

00:22:58 ◼   ► know what works for me is blank and and [TS]

00:23:02 ◼   ► so absolutely like my close friends [TS]

00:23:05 ◼   ► well-meaning people my own mother are [TS]

00:23:07 ◼   ► are always making these you know they're [TS]

00:23:11 ◼   ► pulling yellow legal pads out there like [TS]

00:23:14 ◼   ► we just have to do this step by step [TS]

00:23:15 ◼   ► they really want to help and they say [TS]

00:23:19 ◼   ► you know first thing we have to do is [TS]

00:23:20 ◼   ► just is this small simple step and I go [TS]

00:23:24 ◼   ► right dig it and then immediately like [TS]

00:23:28 ◼   ► the wheels come off and it and it [TS]

00:23:30 ◼   ► doesn't it doesn't seem to other people [TS]

00:23:35 ◼   ► like I'm doing anything but just [TS]

00:23:37 ◼   ► stopping in the middle of the road for [TS]

00:23:39 ◼   ► no reason [TS]

00:23:40 ◼   ► and and it's not that I'm you know it's [TS]

00:23:44 ◼   ► not that I see snakes and this and this [TS]

00:23:48 ◼   ► is the repetitive cycle that you're [TS]

00:23:49 ◼   ► talking about because I don't you know [TS]

00:23:52 ◼   ► I'm in a loop [TS]

00:23:54 ◼   ► I got a loop and I mean this is amazing [TS]

00:23:58 ◼   ► radio let's be honest part of it though [TS]

00:24:00 ◼   ► and it's okay if you want to push back [TS]

00:24:02 ◼   ► on this but my own take on that that I [TS]

00:24:05 ◼   ► think works for a lot there's a [TS]

00:24:06 ◼   ► repetition for sure but in whether it's [TS]

00:24:09 ◼   ► procrastination or it's not getting our [TS]

00:24:10 ◼   ► own album done or something to call it [TS]

00:24:13 ◼   ► fear is a little too on the nose but to [TS]

00:24:17 ◼   ► call it a feeling of impending danger or [TS]

00:24:23 ◼   ► insecurity is a better way to put it [TS]

00:24:25 ◼   ► like a feeling of fear you might get a [TS]

00:24:28 ◼   ► big adrenaline or dopamine hint that [TS]

00:24:29 ◼   ► says I need to get through this right [TS]

00:24:31 ◼   ► yeah I need to run away from the snake [TS]

00:24:32 ◼   ► because I literally saw five fucking [TS]

00:24:34 ◼   ► snakes that's for something that's there [TS]

00:24:36 ◼   ► that if the bear is chasing you you [TS]

00:24:37 ◼   ► should run the other part though is that [TS]

00:24:39 ◼   ► part of that repetition is that you just [TS]

00:24:42 ◼   ► keep checking for the thing that you're [TS]

00:24:46 ◼   ► scared of or worried about if you if you [TS]

00:24:49 ◼   ► know what I mean like you there's [TS]

00:24:51 ◼   ► something in you that's causing you to [TS]

00:24:53 ◼   ► not move forward fearlessly and it's not [TS]

00:24:55 ◼   ► fear exactly on the nose but it is [TS]

00:24:58 ◼   ► uncertainty and it is some kind of like [TS]

00:25:01 ◼   ► am I ready for this am i I don't know if [TS]

00:25:03 ◼   ► I'm up for this today I think yeah I get [TS]

00:25:06 ◼   ► knots in my stomach laying in bed at [TS]

00:25:09 ◼   ► night thinking about and I'm just really [TS]

00:25:10 ◼   ► simple things today [TS]

00:25:11 ◼   ► yeah I'm not excluding fear because I [TS]

00:25:13 ◼   ► fear is definitely a thing I'm just [TS]

00:25:14 ◼   ► saying like calling it just fear [TS]

00:25:16 ◼   ► dismisses too easily the the role of [TS]

00:25:18 ◼   ► uncertainty which there's just a little [TS]

00:25:21 ◼   ► bit different in a fear and anxiety and [TS]

00:25:23 ◼   ► nervousness and anger are all are all [TS]

00:25:27 ◼   ► flavors of a very similar thing that [TS]

00:25:29 ◼   ► involves the world is not the way that I [TS]

00:25:31 ◼   ► want and I'm not sure how to change it [TS]

00:25:33 ◼   ► to be how I want a fear of fear of [TS]

00:25:36 ◼   ► success fear of failure are the are the [TS]

00:25:39 ◼   ► twin the twin twins of Virgo that I [TS]

00:25:45 ◼   ► can't tell the difference between them I [TS]

00:25:47 ◼   ► don't know what I'm people people have [TS]

00:25:49 ◼   ► been throwing that at me since I was 11 [TS]

00:25:51 ◼   ► you have fear of success yeah [TS]

00:25:53 ◼   ► failure and I go well you just be you [TS]

00:25:59 ◼   ► have reluctance to change there's [TS]

00:26:02 ◼   ► something something that says that likes [TS]

00:26:04 ◼   ► change it feels risky even if that's [TS]

00:26:07 ◼   ► improvement but I do you know I I do and [TS]

00:26:11 ◼   ► have over the course of of my life made [TS]

00:26:13 ◼   ► big changes in who I am you know I'm [TS]

00:26:15 ◼   ► such a different person than I was and [TS]

00:26:19 ◼   ► of course I'm the same person like I [TS]

00:26:23 ◼   ► still AM I still am me but you know I [TS]

00:26:26 ◼   ► react I try to learn and I do I do dig [TS]

00:26:31 ◼   ► my feet in sometimes but I dig them in [TS]

00:26:33 ◼   ► on principle rather than like it's it's [TS]

00:26:38 ◼   ► in this one small area right I mean like [TS]

00:26:41 ◼   ► I I am it's it's a it's a closed loop [TS]

00:26:47 ◼   ► it's not like a loop that that affects [TS]

00:26:52 ◼   ► my like ability to take a new job or or [TS]

00:27:00 ◼   ► or make a switch between being a [TS]

00:27:03 ◼   ► musician and being a writer or something [TS]

00:27:05 ◼   ► like that like that stuff is just like [TS]

00:27:07 ◼   ► now yeah sure let's let's give it a try [TS]

00:27:09 ◼   ► or or fear of change in terms of like [TS]

00:27:16 ◼   ► throwing it all away but fear of you [TS]

00:27:26 ◼   ► know I don't I honestly don't know what [TS]

00:27:28 ◼   ► benefit I think like what I'm getting [TS]

00:27:33 ◼   ► out of these small failures these [TS]

00:27:37 ◼   ► constants small failures the fact that I [TS]

00:27:40 ◼   ► have this this list that only has two [TS]

00:27:45 ◼   ► items on it and both things could be I [TS]

00:27:48 ◼   ► could finish my book and finish my album [TS]

00:27:50 ◼   ► in a month really if I didn't worry [TS]

00:27:55 ◼   ► about their quality you know like I [TS]

00:28:00 ◼   ► could have that record done in two days [TS]

00:28:02 ◼   ► if I didn't care whether it was good or [TS]

00:28:04 ◼   ► not [TS]

00:28:05 ◼   ► in your list and it would be off the [TS]

00:28:08 ◼   ► list and I would be on to the next thing [TS]

00:28:10 ◼   ► and by caring about it being good I make [TS]

00:28:15 ◼   ► it impossible to finish because I can [TS]

00:28:17 ◼   ► never get a thing that is good and I'm [TS]

00:28:23 ◼   ► and that makes me think that I'm [TS]

00:28:25 ◼   ► incapable of doing a thing that's good [TS]

00:28:27 ◼   ► and that paralyzes me so I make up I [TS]

00:28:32 ◼   ► make a set of folders on the desktop and [TS]

00:28:35 ◼   ► I say I'm just gonna put all the lyrics [TS]

00:28:38 ◼   ► that start with the letter R in the our [TS]

00:28:40 ◼   ► file and that will help me organize them [TS]

00:28:43 ◼   ► and I'll be able to tell which ones are [TS]

00:28:44 ◼   ► good and then I put them in there and as [TS]

00:28:47 ◼   ► I'm putting him in there I'm like well [TS]

00:28:49 ◼   ► this one's good that one's good this [TS]

00:28:50 ◼   ► feels great and then two days later I [TS]

00:28:54 ◼   ► open up the our file and I think it's [TS]

00:28:56 ◼   ► full of great stuff and I read them all [TS]

00:28:59 ◼   ► again and I'm like there's not a single [TS]

00:29:00 ◼   ► good thing in here it's garbage and then [TS]

00:29:03 ◼   ► I close it and I don't look at it for a [TS]

00:29:04 ◼   ► month because it just sits on the it [TS]

00:29:08 ◼   ► sits on the desktop as this like [TS]

00:29:10 ◼   ► throbbing red thumb and now you've [TS]

00:29:13 ◼   ► created a taxonomy of failure yeah well [TS]

00:29:16 ◼   ► there there's that folder that I know is [TS]

00:29:18 ◼   ► full of garbage that is all of and it's [TS]

00:29:22 ◼   ► and basically it contains everything [TS]

00:29:25 ◼   ► under the letter R that I am capable of [TS]

00:29:27 ◼   ► making so to add more garbage to it [TS]

00:29:30 ◼   ► doesn't seem like the right you know [TS]

00:29:33 ◼   ► process and at that point you need a [TS]

00:29:35 ◼   ► rest and I need a rest you know or I [TS]

00:29:38 ◼   ► need to start working on you know what I [TS]

00:29:39 ◼   ► need to do is start working on the novel [TS]

00:29:41 ◼   ► and so I make some files and I go over [TS]

00:29:44 ◼   ► there and I'm like you roll your chair [TS]

00:29:46 ◼   ► over a couple feet and go right here we [TS]

00:29:50 ◼   ► go roll up the sleeves crack the [TS]

00:29:52 ◼   ► knuckles and sit at the typewriter you [TS]

00:29:55 ◼   ► know like I've done so much work on both [TS]

00:29:59 ◼   ► things like the novel has hundreds and [TS]

00:30:03 ◼   ► hundreds of pages and I've had probably [TS]

00:30:07 ◼   ► eight people read it and all eight have [TS]

00:30:11 ◼   ► come back with really good constructive [TS]

00:30:17 ◼   ► comments that are that you know are not [TS]

00:30:20 ◼   ► like well you need to start over there [TS]

00:30:22 ◼   ► their comments are like this is great [TS]

00:30:24 ◼   ► here's my suggestion you should just you [TS]

00:30:28 ◼   ► know write more about how you feel and [TS]

00:30:31 ◼   ► take out a little bit of the stuff where [TS]

00:30:34 ◼   ► you're like and then I had another seven [TS]

00:30:36 ◼   ► up and I go amazing and then I read it [TS]

00:30:39 ◼   ► and I'm like the whole thing basically [TS]

00:30:42 ◼   ► the entire book is about seven ups and I [TS]

00:30:45 ◼   ► have to redo it I have to redo the whole [TS]

00:30:47 ◼   ► thing because it's basically just a [TS]

00:30:48 ◼   ► testimony to the number of seven ups I [TS]

00:30:50 ◼   ► drank and seco and the lyrics I've got [TS]

00:30:54 ◼   ► so many files of lyrics so many files [TS]

00:30:56 ◼   ► files and files enough for 50 albums [TS]

00:31:01 ◼   ► mm-hmm [TS]

00:31:03 ◼   ► but I can't get I can't get that voice [TS]

00:31:07 ◼   ► out of my head that it's that when I [TS]

00:31:10 ◼   ► look at it a second time I it's garbage [TS]

00:31:15 ◼   ► and and all that all the solutions that [TS]

00:31:17 ◼   ► are suggested by my well-meaning friends [TS]

00:31:20 ◼   ► of just like move on get past it I it [TS]

00:31:26 ◼   ► just it just seems like brutal to me why [TS]

00:31:30 ◼   ► would they even say that why would they [TS]

00:31:32 ◼   ► suggest such an awful thing as that I [TS]

00:31:35 ◼   ► should throw my thing away throw all [TS]

00:31:40 ◼   ► this work away all these great files [TS]

00:31:42 ◼   ► that are full of garbage why should I [TS]

00:31:44 ◼   ► you know like why would somebody tell me [TS]

00:31:46 ◼   ► to throw away my life's work that's my [TS]

00:31:52 ◼   ► that's my cycle another another way to [TS]

00:32:04 ◼   ► think about this this is not gonna help [TS]

00:32:06 ◼   ► unfortunately but you're used to that [TS]

00:32:08 ◼   ► the another way think about it though is [TS]

00:32:10 ◼   ► that what's the constant through all of [TS]

00:32:12 ◼   ► this [TS]

00:32:13 ◼   ► oh there's you the other constant [TS]

00:32:15 ◼   ► through all this is the fucking list so [TS]

00:32:18 ◼   ► I mean in my case the analog is like I [TS]

00:32:21 ◼   ► realized a long time ago I will very [TS]

00:32:23 ◼   ► likely never be without anxiety so even [TS]

00:32:26 ◼   ► if I clear the decks of the top anxiety [TS]

00:32:28 ◼   ► the three under it and all the other [TS]

00:32:30 ◼   ► ones I'm not gonna get around the [TS]

00:32:32 ◼   ► structural problem the anxiety comes to [TS]

00:32:34 ◼   ► me in ways I don't choose and I could I [TS]

00:32:37 ◼   ► could find myself becoming anxious about [TS]

00:32:38 ◼   ► almost anything so I'm not saying we're [TS]

00:32:41 ◼   ► the same on this but you know it's that [TS]

00:32:42 ◼   ► fucking list that's killing you it's in [TS]

00:32:45 ◼   ► some ways it's like if you didn't have [TS]

00:32:46 ◼   ► the list I mean and again now some some [TS]

00:32:48 ◼   ► kind of armchair Freud it's gonna come [TS]

00:32:50 ◼   ► and go oh well you know get rid of the [TS]

00:32:51 ◼   ► list or throw the list away or to say [TS]

00:32:54 ◼   ► you know I guess all I'm trying to say [TS]

00:32:56 ◼   ► is that like at least to be aware of the [TS]

00:32:57 ◼   ► fact that the one constant is the list [TS]

00:32:59 ◼   ► so there's two extreme example you know [TS]

00:33:02 ◼   ► points of view here one would be like [TS]

00:33:04 ◼   ► through the list away cuz it's not [TS]

00:33:05 ◼   ► helping you start over and do something [TS]

00:33:07 ◼   ► else and then eat that includes going [TS]

00:33:09 ◼   ► back and looking at your are lyrics then [TS]

00:33:11 ◼   ► that's fine but you know another person [TS]

00:33:15 ◼   ► we might say and this is gonna be your [TS]

00:33:16 ◼   ► fear of failure or fear of success [TS]

00:33:17 ◼   ► friends your imposter syndrome buddies [TS]

00:33:19 ◼   ► is gonna be like well maybe you're [TS]

00:33:22 ◼   ► worried that once you tick off those two [TS]

00:33:24 ◼   ► items there won't be anything left and [TS]

00:33:25 ◼   ► now who are you that's a hot take but [TS]

00:33:31 ◼   ► there's probably gonna be people who [TS]

00:33:32 ◼   ► think that what's weird is I always want [TS]

00:33:36 ◼   ► help and I ask for help and I think in [TS]

00:33:40 ◼   ► my head I have a vision that someone [TS]

00:33:44 ◼   ► will take enough of an interest in this [TS]

00:33:46 ◼   ► that they will actually pull up a chair [TS]

00:33:49 ◼   ► and because I love to sit and like read [TS]

00:33:55 ◼   ► off a thing and have somebody else hear [TS]

00:33:58 ◼   ► it and bounce it back you know like I [TS]

00:34:01 ◼   ► love to go back and forth what I don't [TS]

00:34:05 ◼   ► like is when someone sits and listens [TS]

00:34:08 ◼   ► and goes oh great well it seems like [TS]

00:34:10 ◼   ► you're on your way or [TS]

00:34:11 ◼   ► you know here's my suggestion for a [TS]

00:34:13 ◼   ► solution to your problem overall and [TS]

00:34:15 ◼   ► then they get up and leave and leave me [TS]

00:34:18 ◼   ► alone - how does it make you feel [TS]

00:34:22 ◼   ► abandoned mm-hmm because they hadn't [TS]

00:34:25 ◼   ► engaged fully well and the problem is [TS]

00:34:28 ◼   ► it's an unrealistic expectation because [TS]

00:34:30 ◼   ► I want my friend I want some friend of [TS]

00:34:32 ◼   ► mine who has their own creative life who [TS]

00:34:36 ◼   ► is struggling to get their own things [TS]

00:34:37 ◼   ► done who is you know obviously consumed [TS]

00:34:41 ◼   ► with their own demons to devote [TS]

00:34:45 ◼   ► themselves for some period of time to [TS]

00:34:47 ◼   ► helping me and the fact that they you [TS]

00:34:51 ◼   ► know like I wrote are for our good [TS]

00:34:54 ◼   ► friend Ben Acker the other day and said [TS]

00:34:56 ◼   ► I've got this draft and you know I'm [TS]

00:35:00 ◼   ► wondering if you would read it and he [TS]

00:35:01 ◼   ► wrote back and said the thing about a [TS]

00:35:03 ◼   ► draft is if you think it's a draft it's [TS]

00:35:05 ◼   ► still a draft and you should work on it [TS]

00:35:06 ◼   ► more and when you don't think it's a [TS]

00:35:09 ◼   ► draft when you're like it's done then [TS]

00:35:11 ◼   ► you have people read it and I was like [TS]

00:35:13 ◼   ► huh that's an interesting theory you're [TS]

00:35:17 ◼   ► still calling it a draft you know you're [TS]

00:35:19 ◼   ► not done yet yeah it's not is he [TS]

00:35:22 ◼   ► implying that it's not is he trying to [TS]

00:35:24 ◼   ► motivate you or say that it's not ready [TS]

00:35:25 ◼   ► for criticism he's definitely trying to [TS]

00:35:27 ◼   ► motivate me and and you know I have this [TS]

00:35:30 ◼   ► conversation a ton of times like what [TS]

00:35:33 ◼   ► Dave bazan tried to help me finish my [TS]

00:35:34 ◼   ► record and did quite a bit of work [TS]

00:35:37 ◼   ► helping me do it [TS]

00:35:38 ◼   ► but ultimately like it was here let me [TS]

00:35:40 ◼   ► make files for you and then once they're [TS]

00:35:43 ◼   ► in files you can sort through them and [TS]

00:35:45 ◼   ► know what to do and I wanted so much [TS]

00:35:48 ◼   ► hand-holding beyond just beyond and and [TS]

00:35:54 ◼   ► other people's systems I generally like [TS]

00:35:58 ◼   ► not just struggle to adopt but actively [TS]

00:36:02 ◼   ► resist in my head if somebody's like [TS]

00:36:04 ◼   ► here let me make these files for you [TS]

00:36:05 ◼   ► I'll order them this way I'm like ah [TS]

00:36:07 ◼   ► that's just not how I would order them [TS]

00:36:11 ◼   ► that's just not how I would progress I [TS]

00:36:14 ◼   ► had a plan last year and some some life [TS]

00:36:18 ◼   ► stuff got in the way and it and I was a [TS]

00:36:20 ◼   ► week behind and the person that was [TS]

00:36:22 ◼   ► helping me [TS]

00:36:23 ◼   ► with that plan said well you're a week [TS]

00:36:26 ◼   ► behind but you can catch up and I said [TS]

00:36:28 ◼   ► well because of these life things I feel [TS]

00:36:30 ◼   ► like I shouldn't be a week behind I feel [TS]

00:36:32 ◼   ► like we should set the deadline that we [TS]

00:36:34 ◼   ► had a week later and they said no let's [TS]

00:36:37 ◼   ► keep the deadline where it is and just [TS]

00:36:39 ◼   ► you make up for the week that got lost [TS]

00:36:42 ◼   ► and I was furious [TS]

00:36:44 ◼   ► why should I why should I have the [TS]

00:36:46 ◼   ► deadline be the same it should move back [TS]

00:36:49 ◼   ► a week because of the tornado right the [TS]

00:36:52 ◼   ► tornado that hit the town and I can get [TS]

00:36:54 ◼   ► the opine that that's not really a [TS]

00:36:55 ◼   ► deadline if you move it [TS]

00:36:56 ◼   ► well yeah or they're just like that you [TS]

00:36:58 ◼   ► it's fine you can you can make up that [TS]

00:37:00 ◼   ► week you can make up that last week and [TS]

00:37:03 ◼   ► I was like that's crazy that's crazy to [TS]

00:37:05 ◼   ► say that I'm a week behind now I was [TS]

00:37:07 ◼   ► doing so good you walked across Europe [TS]

00:37:13 ◼   ► but like the idea a little bit behind on [TS]

00:37:17 ◼   ► the project cripple see three stuff it's [TS]

00:37:24 ◼   ► just some things are harder than others [TS]

00:37:27 ◼   ► now though and this is the thing I think [TS]

00:37:30 ◼   ► a lot of people don't believe when I say [TS]

00:37:33 ◼   ► but I was 30 when I walked across Europe [TS]

00:37:37 ◼   ► and it was the first thing I had ever [TS]

00:37:38 ◼   ► finished except for high school and I [TS]

00:37:42 ◼   ► didn't really finish high school you [TS]

00:37:43 ◼   ► know they I got to these like they kinda [TS]

00:37:46 ◼   ► SH to you yeah right I mean I got to the [TS]

00:37:49 ◼   ► end of what the term of high school [TS]

00:37:51 ◼   ► should have been and they were like [TS]

00:37:53 ◼   ► that's fine and so I didn't even have a [TS]

00:37:57 ◼   ► real feeling of completion of high [TS]

00:37:59 ◼   ► school because I because I like skirted [TS]

00:38:02 ◼   ► it but more like the staff and faculty [TS]

00:38:05 ◼   ► disappeared you wasn't it yeah like sort [TS]

00:38:08 ◼   ► of by mutual assent by a voice vote they [TS]

00:38:10 ◼   ► decided that you just needed to not be [TS]

00:38:11 ◼   ► at that high school anymore yeah right [TS]

00:38:13 ◼   ► like I had actually not completed the [TS]

00:38:15 ◼   ► requirements and they just took a pencil [TS]

00:38:18 ◼   ► and erased the zero and added a one-page [TS]

00:38:23 ◼   ► that's fine so moved and it's like I [TS]

00:38:29 ◼   ► knew it I knew that they were doing it [TS]

00:38:31 ◼   ► if you look at my transcript it's [TS]

00:38:32 ◼   ► visible there there's a visible like [TS]

00:38:36 ◼   ► lie or cheat in it that I didn't ask for [TS]

00:38:40 ◼   ► and it does feel dishonest and and that [TS]

00:38:47 ◼   ► it's a white ribbon [TS]

00:38:48 ◼   ► it's a white ribbon and it's a small [TS]

00:38:51 ◼   ► thing right that they think a lot of [TS]

00:38:54 ◼   ► people would assume I was proud of like [TS]

00:38:56 ◼   ► this relieved by like I didn't care I [TS]

00:39:01 ◼   ► mean I didn't care I don't think about I [TS]

00:39:05 ◼   ► had no anxiety about graduating from [TS]

00:39:07 ◼   ► high school cuz I knew if I did or I [TS]

00:39:08 ◼   ► didn't it wouldn't matter but having not [TS]

00:39:12 ◼   ► done it having not actually gone to [TS]

00:39:18 ◼   ► summer school or repeated my senior year [TS]

00:39:21 ◼   ► whatever it was that that I probably or [TS]

00:39:25 ◼   ► Paul most definitely should have been [TS]

00:39:26 ◼   ► forced to do that I didn't actually it's [TS]

00:39:30 ◼   ► not actually finished because it was [TS]

00:39:34 ◼   ► yeah it was this like fake it's faked so [TS]

00:39:42 ◼   ► the so the walk across Europe and I [TS]

00:39:44 ◼   ► don't know if I've ever told you this [TS]

00:39:45 ◼   ► but there was a moment in there was an [TS]

00:39:49 ◼   ► evening in Slovakia have I ever told you [TS]

00:39:54 ◼   ► about this evening in Slovakia no I [TS]

00:39:56 ◼   ► don't I don't remember is this is this [TS]

00:39:58 ◼   ► when you went the lady's house and she [TS]

00:39:59 ◼   ► gave you food no okay oh by the way our [TS]

00:40:05 ◼   ► thanks to Mike Walden you know what I [TS]

00:40:09 ◼   ► got some Mack welding stuff on the way [TS]

00:40:13 ◼   ► like in the mail as you will hear on the [TS]

00:40:18 ◼   ► ad spot which I must definitely have [TS]

00:40:20 ◼   ► already recorded I got three new of the [TS]

00:40:24 ◼   ► MEK weld and shirt that I like for the [TS]

00:40:25 ◼   ► Christmas Oh nicely done [TS]

00:40:28 ◼   ► I don't wanna spoil the ad spot that you [TS]

00:40:30 ◼   ► just heard that I already definitely [TS]

00:40:31 ◼   ► record it but I'm a fan man [TS]

00:40:33 ◼   ► I want to I ordered a bunch of more [TS]

00:40:36 ◼   ► silver underpants because I feel just [TS]

00:40:46 ◼   ► calling that what are they just console [TS]

00:40:47 ◼   ► over Underpants well I think that's what [TS]

00:40:49 ◼   ► they are right [TS]

00:40:50 ◼   ► so I just make this the ad I mean I [TS]

00:40:53 ◼   ► don't have a problem with this being the [TS]

00:40:54 ◼   ► ad because it's true [TS]

00:40:55 ◼   ► I saw underpants protect me against [TS]

00:40:58 ◼   ► danger [TS]

00:41:00 ◼   ► okay I'm gonna regret this I can feel it [TS]

00:41:03 ◼   ► already [TS]

00:41:04 ◼   ► I'm gonna fucking regret this let's see [TS]

00:41:11 ◼   ► here they're not technically bulletproof [TS]

00:41:15 ◼   ► the silver underwear they're not [TS]

00:41:16 ◼   ► technically bulletproof but they make me [TS]

00:41:17 ◼   ► feel boy it's by Mac Weldon and I'm here [TS]

00:41:22 ◼   ► to tell you right now you can go to [TS]

00:41:24 ◼   ► Mecca welcome calm and you'll get 20 [TS]

00:41:25 ◼   ► percent off your order using the promo [TS]

00:41:27 ◼   ► code ro TL just like it sounds ro t hell [TS]

00:41:30 ◼   ► no it's military-grade silver thread [TS]

00:41:38 ◼   ► that is threaded in with the cotton John [TS]

00:41:42 ◼   ► you can make a military-grade silver [TS]

00:41:44 ◼   ► thread technology military does it all [TS]

00:41:48 ◼   ► the time I don't know how apparently [TS]

00:41:50 ◼   ► I mean it's not something probably that [TS]

00:41:52 ◼   ► Mac Weldon just does themselves they [TS]

00:41:53 ◼   ► probably sorts it through military [TS]

00:41:56 ◼   ► contractors like Halliburton or [TS]

00:41:57 ◼   ► something [TS]

00:41:58 ◼   ► Mac Walden is better than whatever [TS]

00:41:59 ◼   ► you're wearing right now no you fixate [TS]

00:42:06 ◼   ► on the underpants and the problem with [TS]

00:42:07 ◼   ► these Mack welding people is they're [TS]

00:42:09 ◼   ► always fixating on the underpants I am [TS]

00:42:10 ◼   ► all about the pima cotton this is this [TS]

00:42:12 ◼   ► is the add just so y'all know I am I I'm [TS]

00:42:15 ◼   ► a big fan at the pima cotton long sleeve [TS]

00:42:16 ◼   ► t-shirt and I cannot even say I will [TS]

00:42:19 ◼   ► just tell you this I literally have a [TS]

00:42:20 ◼   ► drawer full of them because they now are [TS]

00:42:22 ◼   ► officially my uniform I wear some kind [TS]

00:42:24 ◼   ► of a short sleeve shirt underneath it [TS]

00:42:26 ◼   ► could be could be the Mac Walden white [TS]

00:42:28 ◼   ► t-shirt which has a nice long tail much [TS]

00:42:31 ◼   ► like the Chris Anderson article in Wired [TS]

00:42:33 ◼   ► but this in but I am here to tell you [TS]

00:42:35 ◼   ► not John it's here to tell you about [TS]

00:42:36 ◼   ► Underpants I'm here to tell you about [TS]

00:42:37 ◼   ► shirts these these are these are soft [TS]

00:42:40 ◼   ► they're beautifully made there [TS]

00:42:42 ◼   ► they're like engineered they actually [TS]

00:42:43 ◼   ► like the t-shirt looks like something [TS]

00:42:45 ◼   ► from outer space it's like the coolest [TS]

00:42:46 ◼   ► thing ever so you know do you want to [TS]

00:42:48 ◼   ► talk more about this threads in your [TS]

00:42:49 ◼   ► underpants well I see I don't I don't [TS]

00:42:52 ◼   ► typically wear t-shirts unless the only [TS]

00:42:56 ◼   ► time I'll put on a t-shirt is if a I [TS]

00:42:58 ◼   ► expect to be hot and I'm dressing up [TS]

00:43:01 ◼   ► fancy and I don't want [TS]

00:43:03 ◼   ► you know I want another layer and I'm [TS]

00:43:05 ◼   ► and I'm always confused like does the [TS]

00:43:08 ◼   ► lay extra layer make me hotter so that I [TS]

00:43:11 ◼   ► perspire more else am I just causing [TS]

00:43:14 ◼   ► more of a problem for myself or am i [TS]

00:43:15 ◼   ► putting another layer in between my [TS]

00:43:18 ◼   ► shirt and the persuasion finish your [TS]

00:43:19 ◼   ► album you thinking about shit like this [TS]

00:43:22 ◼   ► is there wicking involved is there [TS]

00:43:24 ◼   ► wicking mmm-hmm it's a hard choice and [TS]

00:43:26 ◼   ► my dad wore v-neck t-shirts but I do not [TS]

00:43:29 ◼   ► support do no t-shirt no no no I am more [TS]

00:43:32 ◼   ► is not a good look [TS]

00:43:34 ◼   ► collared shirt if you like them get them [TS]

00:43:37 ◼   ► hakuna matata but for me I look rude I [TS]

00:43:38 ◼   ► look bad I look like somebody in some [TS]

00:43:40 ◼   ► kind of like community theater version [TS]

00:43:43 ◼   ► of like you know count on a Hot Tin Roof [TS]

00:43:46 ◼   ► or something that's bad yeah yeah no no [TS]

00:43:48 ◼   ► I don't like him I don't like him either [TS]

00:43:49 ◼   ► and when I was a kid in the 70s it was [TS]

00:43:52 ◼   ► very popular to wear tank tops and I had [TS]

00:43:55 ◼   ► a bunch of cool tank tops that had [TS]

00:43:57 ◼   ► stripes and stuff and I looked very cool [TS]

00:43:58 ◼   ► and a tank top [TS]

00:43:59 ◼   ► it was like eight but I don't look good [TS]

00:44:02 ◼   ► in a tank top now no and I don't look [TS]

00:44:05 ◼   ► good I don't like a Venus that's just [TS]

00:44:06 ◼   ► stinky they could be stinky because [TS]

00:44:08 ◼   ► because there's nothing to absorb your [TS]

00:44:09 ◼   ► your business yeah they're gross but you [TS]

00:44:13 ◼   ► know commune and Matata if you like to [TS]

00:44:15 ◼   ► work yes especially if you get it from a [TS]

00:44:17 ◼   ► quelle dan which I'm pretty sure you can [TS]

00:44:18 ◼   ► yeah but the silver Underpants and the [TS]

00:44:21 ◼   ► thing is they're not silver colored and [TS]

00:44:23 ◼   ► that's a point I support a lot of people [TS]

00:44:25 ◼   ► think it's gonna look like a baked [TS]

00:44:26 ◼   ► potato you dieren know a baked potato no [TS]

00:44:29 ◼   ► because I get the eat I get to like [TS]

00:44:31 ◼   ► light pastel colors like the star color [TS]

00:44:34 ◼   ► yeah and I'm not a technical fabrics [TS]

00:44:36 ◼   ► person typically right I'm gonna want [TS]

00:44:39 ◼   ► your wools and your Cotton's pants made [TS]

00:44:41 ◼   ► of wax exactly right and I'm talking [TS]

00:44:46 ◼   ► about doing a I'm talking about doing a [TS]

00:44:48 ◼   ► motorcycle trip this summer up to the [TS]

00:44:50 ◼   ► Arctic Circle with some friends and they [TS]

00:44:52 ◼   ► are friends one of them at least is [TS]

00:44:54 ◼   ► somebody that wears technical fabrics [TS]

00:44:57 ◼   ► even when they're not doing something [TS]

00:44:58 ◼   ► technical and I'm like no no no Jason [TS]

00:45:05 ◼   ► Jason Jason can't figure out like [TS]

00:45:07 ◼   ► whether he's wool or or what but he's [TS]

00:45:09 ◼   ► not up against technical fabrics [TS]

00:45:11 ◼   ► the thing about my silver underpants is [TS]

00:45:14 ◼   ► that my feeling about them is although [TS]

00:45:16 ◼   ► they are produced surely by some [TS]

00:45:17 ◼   ► technical method that involves [TS]

00:45:19 ◼   ► military-grade silver thread it's silver [TS]

00:45:23 ◼   ► mm which is like the oldest of the [TS]

00:45:26 ◼   ► oldest school materials that's why it's [TS]

00:45:29 ◼   ► easily one of my favorite precious [TS]

00:45:30 ◼   ► metals yeah oh me too I think be very [TS]

00:45:34 ◼   ► gaudy I think silver can be very very [TS]

00:45:35 ◼   ► classy I got silver all all over the [TS]

00:45:37 ◼   ► house I mean you know it's all my [TS]

00:45:39 ◼   ► doorstops are silver and and I do feel [TS]

00:45:44 ◼   ► like trunk right it got the ingots back [TS]

00:45:55 ◼   ► from the crackheads trunk and they're [TS]

00:46:00 ◼   ► back there back fulfilling their purpose [TS]

00:46:01 ◼   ► their ultimate purpose which is to be [TS]

00:46:03 ◼   ► $5,000 doorstops they want you to be [TS]

00:46:07 ◼   ► comfortable so if you don't like your [TS]

00:46:08 ◼   ► first pair of silver Underpants you can [TS]

00:46:09 ◼   ► keep it and they will still refund you [TS]

00:46:11 ◼   ► with no questions that's know I think [TS]

00:46:12 ◼   ► this is a good policy I would not even [TS]

00:46:14 ◼   ► want to know that somebody's sending [TS]

00:46:16 ◼   ► used underwear through the mail right [TS]

00:46:18 ◼   ► you're not gonna take that back look I [TS]

00:46:20 ◼   ► know I mean that with my socks cuz I [TS]

00:46:24 ◼   ► like to rotate I guess I'll get a whole [TS]

00:46:25 ◼   ► new set of gold toes and then I feel bad [TS]

00:46:27 ◼   ► about all the the some socks my daughter [TS]

00:46:29 ◼   ► can repurpose into sewing projects but I [TS]

00:46:31 ◼   ► feel bad so now what's nice is they [TS]

00:46:33 ◼   ► accept socks in in compost in San [TS]

00:46:36 ◼   ► Francisco so you accomplished your socks [TS]

00:46:37 ◼   ► you know what I do with socks if they're [TS]

00:46:41 ◼   ► not if they're not totally thrashed if [TS]

00:46:43 ◼   ► they're just like these socks have have [TS]

00:46:45 ◼   ► run their course and imperfect socks are [TS]

00:46:48 ◼   ► in the family of things that I will put [TS]

00:46:50 ◼   ► back into the river which is to say that [TS]

00:46:55 ◼   ► once you get like ten pairs of socks [TS]

00:46:57 ◼   ► that are all going out you bind them [TS]

00:47:01 ◼   ► together into a into like a like a like [TS]

00:47:04 ◼   ► a bindle like a bindle of socks a bale [TS]

00:47:07 ◼   ► of socks and you take them and you just [TS]

00:47:10 ◼   ► put them on top of a mailbox somewhere [TS]

00:47:13 ◼   ► on a busy street and I Karen tu those [TS]

00:47:19 ◼   ► socks will be gone in ten minutes [TS]

00:47:20 ◼   ► but by like a by a fetishist or somebody [TS]

00:47:23 ◼   ► who just wants to have [TS]

00:47:24 ◼   ► you socks just for like a collection [TS]

00:47:26 ◼   ► like who do you think's picking those up [TS]

00:47:27 ◼   ► who know who know this is the this is [TS]

00:47:31 ◼   ► the beautiful thing about the river the [TS]

00:47:33 ◼   ► river if you if you put something down [TS]

00:47:35 ◼   ► if you put something and put a sign on [TS]

00:47:37 ◼   ► it that says free oh yes it goes away [TS]

00:47:40 ◼   ► yes almost invariably it goes away now [TS]

00:47:43 ◼   ► if you put if you put a filthy child's [TS]

00:47:48 ◼   ► car seat down with a sign that says free [TS]

00:47:50 ◼   ► it will not go away it will it will stay [TS]

00:47:52 ◼   ► there and it will grow moss so don't do [TS]

00:47:54 ◼   ► that nobody likes those but things like [TS]

00:47:57 ◼   ► socks which you would not think anybody [TS]

00:48:00 ◼   ► would have a purpose see I've heard it [TS]

00:48:02 ◼   ► said hey listen don't donate socks that [TS]

00:48:05 ◼   ► are used donate socks that are fresh [TS]

00:48:07 ◼   ► people could really that's actually one [TS]

00:48:08 ◼   ► of the most needed things and like a [TS]

00:48:10 ◼   ► shelter is socks but nobody wants your [TS]

00:48:12 ◼   ► use socks is a thing I've always heard [TS]

00:48:13 ◼   ► and yet mmm a bale of socks will go and [TS]

00:48:21 ◼   ► once it goes once it's in the river once [TS]

00:48:24 ◼   ► it goes into the Ganges of reeds your [TS]

00:48:28 ◼   ► neighborhood right you don't have to [TS]

00:48:31 ◼   ► worry whether it's a sock fetishist [TS]

00:48:33 ◼   ► whether someone's making puppets oh it's [TS]

00:48:34 ◼   ► your brother I'll take the socks just [TS]

00:48:36 ◼   ► take them whether it could have been the [TS]

00:48:37 ◼   ► Red Hot Chili Peppers that grab oh of [TS]

00:48:39 ◼   ► course does he need that for their for [TS]

00:48:41 ◼   ► their attire yeah so you put in the [TS]

00:48:45 ◼   ► river in the socks go somewhere you put [TS]

00:48:46 ◼   ► it in the river and I don't put [TS]

00:48:48 ◼   ► everything in the river I don't just [TS]

00:48:49 ◼   ► take my garbage and just put it out no [TS]

00:48:51 ◼   ► no open go it also has socks here's the [TS]

00:48:55 ◼   ► thing now I'm a clod and you get [TS]

00:48:56 ◼   ► underwear socks and shirts they all look [TS]

00:48:57 ◼   ► good and they perform well too good for [TS]

00:49:00 ◼   ► working out going on dates or just [TS]

00:49:01 ◼   ► everyday life that's that that's Mack [TS]

00:49:03 ◼   ► Walton so so what you do is if you have [TS]

00:49:06 ◼   ► put your socks into the river or your [TS]

00:49:08 ◼   ► super Underpants and you're ready to [TS]

00:49:09 ◼   ► re-up please go to Mack Walton calm and [TS]

00:49:11 ◼   ► use the very special promo code our OTO [TS]

00:49:14 ◼   ► just like it sounds RIT I'll get you 20% [TS]

00:49:16 ◼   ► off your order I'm pulling for the pima [TS]

00:49:19 ◼   ► cotton long sleeve t-shirt and the white [TS]

00:49:20 ◼   ► t-shirt sounds like you're pulling for [TS]

00:49:22 ◼   ► the pastel-colored [TS]

00:49:23 ◼   ► a silver Underpants well not necessarily [TS]

00:49:25 ◼   ► because I also bought two pairs of [TS]

00:49:26 ◼   ► silver socks why I've never had thing [TS]

00:49:32 ◼   ► I've never had them before and I'm [TS]

00:49:34 ◼   ► hoping I'm hoping that they in [TS]

00:49:38 ◼   ► crease my bulletproof a tude to the [TS]

00:49:42 ◼   ► point that I basically can defeat the [TS]

00:49:46 ◼   ► Joker or whatever it is that everybody [TS]

00:49:48 ◼   ► is so scared about if the killings had [TS]

00:49:50 ◼   ► been wearing these he wouldn't be so [TS]

00:49:51 ◼   ► fucked up [TS]

00:49:52 ◼   ► haha he got dipped they helped him by [TS]

00:49:55 ◼   ► his he's a little tendon and they dipped [TS]

00:49:57 ◼   ► him into the water as a baby to make him [TS]

00:49:59 ◼   ► bulletproof for arrow proof and that's [TS]

00:50:01 ◼   ► why you got an Achilles tendon though [TS]

00:50:02 ◼   ► dur mm-hmm extended crew sucks oh here [TS]

00:50:06 ◼   ► we go super fine cotton anti-odor silver [TS]

00:50:08 ◼   ► business smart oh these are handsome all [TS]

00:50:11 ◼   ► the compatible I think I need this [TS]

00:50:15 ◼   ► that's what I'm saying I get these I [TS]

00:50:19 ◼   ► think I got the extended crew yeah I [TS]

00:50:21 ◼   ► didn't know my socks for silver I don't [TS]

00:50:22 ◼   ► even [TS]

00:50:22 ◼   ► but wait they've got them that casual is [TS]

00:50:25 ◼   ► not silver and then you go down and [TS]

00:50:27 ◼   ► you've got the extended crew right [TS]

00:50:28 ◼   ► extended group extended crew well we [TS]

00:50:31 ◼   ► know there's extended crew in casual [TS]

00:50:33 ◼   ► there's extended crew and silver there's [TS]

00:50:35 ◼   ► extended crew in merino okay okay so [TS]

00:50:39 ◼   ► there are several extended crews but if [TS]

00:50:41 ◼   ► you get the silver ones that are [TS]

00:50:42 ◼   ► business smart mm-hmm I feel like they [TS]

00:50:44 ◼   ► also and I got them I got them so that [TS]

00:50:47 ◼   ► they're very distinctive from my other [TS]

00:50:49 ◼   ► socks that's what I did too yeah so it's [TS]

00:50:52 ◼   ► like when it's time to put on because I [TS]

00:50:54 ◼   ► remember when I had this silver [TS]

00:50:55 ◼   ► Underpants before before millennium [TS]

00:50:57 ◼   ► girlfriend stole them that I was when I [TS]

00:51:01 ◼   ► put them on I did feel more like doctor [TS]

00:51:05 ◼   ► does and now that I have the socks too I [TS]

00:51:08 ◼   ► can decide like am I just wearing silver [TS]

00:51:10 ◼   ► socks today without the underpants right [TS]

00:51:11 ◼   ► be that guy right you don't be too [TS]

00:51:14 ◼   ► matching match you don't want to be like [TS]

00:51:16 ◼   ► Ken Stringfellow wearing all denims [TS]

00:51:17 ◼   ► yeah well maybe maybe sometimes you know [TS]

00:51:20 ◼   ► maybe if it's like I this is it this is [TS]

00:51:21 ◼   ► a heavy day I need some extra protection [TS]

00:51:26 ◼   ► so you gonna Mack welding comm using [TS]

00:51:28 ◼   ► special promo code RIT I'll get you 20% [TS]

00:51:30 ◼   ► off our thanks to Mack well done for [TS]

00:51:32 ◼   ► supporting yeah Radek online and all the [TS]

00:51:34 ◼   ► great shows yeah thank you for making [TS]

00:51:37 ◼   ► slick thing whatever this thing is yes [TS]

00:51:39 ◼   ► anyway so you were in Slovakia house in [TS]

00:51:45 ◼   ► Slovakia I could've done worse and I [TS]

00:51:48 ◼   ► think so yeah I mean yeah I didn't say [TS]

00:51:51 ◼   ► anything gross [TS]

00:51:52 ◼   ► Gudrun was better than the paisley [TS]

00:51:54 ◼   ► mattress okay yeah so her slovakia we're [TS]

00:51:58 ◼   ► in slovakia and i'm walking and it was [TS]

00:52:00 ◼   ► one of these days sometimes you had [TS]

00:52:02 ◼   ► these days where the distances that you [TS]

00:52:06 ◼   ► wanted to go like I want to go 35 to 40 [TS]

00:52:11 ◼   ► kilometers in a day and there were there [TS]

00:52:17 ◼   ► were some days where 35 to 40 kilometers [TS]

00:52:22 ◼   ► put me in a place where I was not around [TS]

00:52:25 ◼   ► anywhere I could stop you know it's like [TS]

00:52:30 ◼   ► it's like when you're on tour and you've [TS]

00:52:32 ◼   ► just got to get through Canada Yeah [TS]

00:52:34 ◼   ► right you don't want to drive 12 hours [TS]

00:52:38 ◼   ► ever on tour it's too much but there are [TS]

00:52:42 ◼   ► just some places where it's like sorry [TS]

00:52:43 ◼   ► man if you're going from Calgary you [TS]

00:52:46 ◼   ► know to Winnipeg you've just got to [TS]

00:52:48 ◼   ► drive and it's just there's no other way [TS]

00:52:49 ◼   ► around it you can't there's no show you [TS]

00:52:51 ◼   ► can book in the middle and this was one [TS]

00:52:54 ◼   ► of those days yes yes [TS]

00:52:56 ◼   ► either I stopped with it with like [TS]

00:52:59 ◼   ► basically what I would consider a half [TS]

00:53:00 ◼   ► day and stop in this town that's 15 [TS]

00:53:03 ◼   ► kilometers from where I started which [TS]

00:53:06 ◼   ► just feels like me twerp and a lot of [TS]

00:53:09 ◼   ► times I would get to that town and I'd [TS]

00:53:11 ◼   ► look around and I'd say does this feel [TS]

00:53:12 ◼   ► like a cool enough town that I could [TS]

00:53:13 ◼   ► just call it a half-day and hang out [TS]

00:53:15 ◼   ► here understand there's there's a [TS]

00:53:17 ◼   ► balance between on the one hand you want [TS]

00:53:19 ◼   ► to feel like you've made enough progress [TS]

00:53:20 ◼   ► for the day and you got a map right [TS]

00:53:22 ◼   ► mm-hmm feel like you've done enough for [TS]

00:53:24 ◼   ► the day like if you only went like I've [TS]

00:53:26 ◼   ► known 15 kilometres is I don't know what [TS]

00:53:27 ◼   ► that is in regular money but like if you [TS]

00:53:29 ◼   ► go huh it's a distance okay but like if [TS]

00:53:32 ◼   ► you only if you made it for miles today [TS]

00:53:35 ◼   ► it would not feel substantial enough but [TS]

00:53:37 ◼   ► you have to weigh that against oh [TS]

00:53:38 ◼   ► there's this very small town that mean [TS]

00:53:41 ◼   ► I'll accommodate me but I got to go ride [TS]

00:53:43 ◼   ► with 20 miles is that the is that the [TS]

00:53:44 ◼   ► balance yeah and you look at a map and [TS]

00:53:47 ◼   ► you see like oh there's a big big area [TS]

00:53:50 ◼   ► here where there are no towns I'm [TS]

00:53:52 ◼   ► guessing it's a swamp or as an other [TS]

00:53:54 ◼   ► sort of uninhabitable they were coming [TS]

00:54:02 ◼   ► up the map you [TS]

00:54:03 ◼   ► had might not be right anymore like that [TS]

00:54:07 ◼   ► that road is gone like Ronald Reagan [TS]

00:54:08 ◼   ► changed that it's a different road now [TS]

00:54:10 ◼   ► and your atlas from before isn't gonna [TS]

00:54:13 ◼   ► be so baller today this is just any I'm [TS]

00:54:18 ◼   ► guessing a lot at the Times cuz it [TS]

00:54:20 ◼   ► doesn't say Swampert if it does it says [TS]

00:54:22 ◼   ► it in Slovakia that's big map edge of [TS]

00:54:30 ◼   ► swamp town so this was one of those days [TS]

00:54:33 ◼   ► and I got I went through this little [TS]

00:54:35 ◼   ► town and I and I remember actually going [TS]

00:54:37 ◼   ► through a town and saying to someone [TS]

00:54:40 ◼   ► stopping someone in the in the street [TS]

00:54:43 ◼   ► and saying is there a hotel in this town [TS]

00:54:45 ◼   ► and they looked at me with this with [TS]

00:54:48 ◼   ► this particularly like late 20th century [TS]

00:54:53 ◼   ► Slavic look and they were like no as [TS]

00:54:59 ◼   ► though having as though having a hotel [TS]

00:55:01 ◼   ► in that town was stupid thing for me to [TS]

00:55:04 ◼   ► say it was like two levels of ignorance [TS]

00:55:06 ◼   ► I was like on the one hand you didn't [TS]

00:55:07 ◼   ► know if there was a hotel but then you [TS]

00:55:09 ◼   ► didn't even know what a dumb question it [TS]

00:55:10 ◼   ► was yeah and I I looked at them and then [TS]

00:55:15 ◼   ► as we parted ways I thought to myself [TS]

00:55:18 ◼   ► who is the dummy like you guys are [TS]

00:55:22 ◼   ► figuring out like a market economy and I [TS]

00:55:26 ◼   ► know from talking to a lot of people on [TS]

00:55:28 ◼   ► this side of what had formerly been the [TS]

00:55:30 ◼   ► wall there's a lot of feeling of like [TS]

00:55:34 ◼   ► resentment about the intrusion of this [TS]

00:55:38 ◼   ► this expectation of a market economy but [TS]

00:55:42 ◼   ► all you have to do is say yes come to my [TS]

00:55:45 ◼   ► house and I'll pay you what seems like [TS]

00:55:49 ◼   ► to you probably a lot of money like the [TS]

00:55:51 ◼   ► original gig economy yeah I'll pay you [TS]

00:55:54 ◼   ► $25 which is that's like all the dots [TS]

00:55:57 ◼   ► yeah that's a lot and all you have to do [TS]

00:56:00 ◼   ► is have a bed in the back of your [TS]

00:56:02 ◼   ► fucking warehouse so whoo-hoo why are [TS]

00:56:06 ◼   ► you so smug about the fact that you [TS]

00:56:08 ◼   ► don't have a fucking hotel in your town [TS]

00:56:10 ◼   ► like get with the program um which way [TS]

00:56:15 ◼   ► you know which was like [TS]

00:56:16 ◼   ► but there's probably a little Pensione [TS]

00:56:18 ◼   ► there now anyway so I kept walking and I [TS]

00:56:22 ◼   ► walked and walked and it was a great day [TS]

00:56:24 ◼   ► it was like beautiful day it was a long [TS]

00:56:26 ◼   ► sort of pleasant walk it was kind of a [TS]

00:56:30 ◼   ► swamp but it wasn't like a pestilent [TS]

00:56:33 ◼   ► swamp it was just like a lowland there [TS]

00:56:36 ◼   ► were some birds it was like there's a [TS]

00:56:38 ◼   ► lot of that area around the Danube [TS]

00:56:41 ◼   ► that's kind of River Basin II so there's [TS]

00:56:45 ◼   ► a lot of water and this was a [TS]

00:56:46 ◼   ► particularly rainy season anyway I get [TS]

00:56:50 ◼   ► to the end of the day and I'm still [TS]

00:56:53 ◼   ► quite a ways out from this town that I'm [TS]

00:56:56 ◼   ► going to which is called Cola Robo and I [TS]

00:57:00 ◼   ► just keep plugging along because there's [TS]

00:57:02 ◼   ► just nowhere - there's just nothing to [TS]

00:57:03 ◼   ► do you know I could stop and pitch a [TS]

00:57:05 ◼   ► tent like on the side of the road in [TS]

00:57:07 ◼   ► three inches of water uh or I could keep [TS]

00:57:11 ◼   ► going and I kept going and then it [TS]

00:57:13 ◼   ► started to rain and then the Sun went [TS]

00:57:15 ◼   ► down and so now I'm walking in the dark [TS]

00:57:17 ◼   ► in the rain and I get to kolarov oh and [TS]

00:57:21 ◼   ► it's a fairly big little town and I walk [TS]

00:57:25 ◼   ► all the way to the center which is on a [TS]

00:57:27 ◼   ► river and there's a like Community Club [TS]

00:57:31 ◼   ► you know this sort of former former [TS]

00:57:36 ◼   ► Eastern Bloc sort of like sporting club [TS]

00:57:39 ◼   ► which is a bar where they also play [TS]

00:57:41 ◼   ► music and it's a youth center you know [TS]

00:57:46 ◼   ► it's all this stuff and I roll into this [TS]

00:57:49 ◼   ► place and I you know I'm super wet and I [TS]

00:57:53 ◼   ► get a coke and I sit down at a table and [TS]

00:57:56 ◼   ► like inevitably somebody some brave [TS]

00:57:59 ◼   ► young person comes over and goes what [TS]

00:58:01 ◼   ► are you and I say I'm an American I'm [TS]

00:58:04 ◼   ► walking across Slovakia and they're like [TS]

00:58:06 ◼   ► wow and so all of a sudden I'm sitting [TS]

00:58:08 ◼   ► at a table with like six really great [TS]

00:58:13 ◼   ► 20-something slovak s-- [TS]

00:58:16 ◼   ► and we're having a good time we're [TS]

00:58:19 ◼   ► talking they're talking to each other a [TS]

00:58:21 ◼   ► lot more than they're talking to me but [TS]

00:58:22 ◼   ► we're enjoying each other and then an [TS]

00:58:25 ◼   ► interesting curiosity I'm a curiosity [TS]

00:58:27 ◼   ► and they are [TS]

00:58:28 ◼   ► slow box who are this is something that [TS]

00:58:32 ◼   ► you learn over time they are Hungarian [TS]

00:58:34 ◼   ► slow box they are speaking Hungarian [TS]

00:58:37 ◼   ► they think of themselves as ethnically [TS]

00:58:39 ◼   ► Hungarian but they're also very sort of [TS]

00:58:41 ◼   ► nationalistic we Slovakian they don't [TS]

00:58:43 ◼   ► want to reunite with Hungary they have a [TS]

00:58:45 ◼   ► Slovak identity but they are Hungarians [TS]

00:58:51 ◼   ► and in this part of Slovakia it is [TS]

00:58:53 ◼   ► majority Hungarians and they listen to [TS]

00:58:56 ◼   ► Hungarian radio and they you know that's [TS]

00:58:59 ◼   ► it's a it's one of the quizzical [TS]

00:59:03 ◼   ► aftermath of the dissolution of the [TS]

00:59:05 ◼   ► austro-hungarian Empire that's a world [TS]

00:59:08 ◼   ► war one type situation yeah I mean they [TS]

00:59:11 ◼   ► took Hungary used to be big and after [TS]

00:59:14 ◼   ► after tree Annan they chopped it all [TS]

00:59:18 ◼   ► apart and they gave some of it to [TS]

00:59:20 ◼   ► Romania and some of it to Slovakia and [TS]

00:59:22 ◼   ► some of it to all the nations on all [TS]

00:59:25 ◼   ► sides they even gave some to Austria [TS]

00:59:27 ◼   ► which doesn't make any sense at all and [TS]

00:59:29 ◼   ► there are lots of in some of those [TS]

00:59:32 ◼   ► places like in Romania they kind of [TS]

00:59:33 ◼   ► pushed to the Hungarians out and so you [TS]

00:59:36 ◼   ► go to these towns and it's like [TS]

00:59:37 ◼   ► everything's written in Hungarian but [TS]

00:59:40 ◼   ► it's all Romanians living there now but [TS]

00:59:44 ◼   ► in Slovakia the Hungarians stayed there [TS]

00:59:47 ◼   ► they just are now slow box anyway so I'm [TS]

00:59:52 ◼   ► you know sitting there kind of learning [TS]

00:59:53 ◼   ► all this and I think I think maybe this [TS]

00:59:57 ◼   ► was the town where I started to really [TS]

00:59:58 ◼   ► grasp a bit [TS]

00:59:58 ◼   ► grasp a bit [TS]

01:00:00 ◼   ► because I'd been walking for a long time [TS]

01:00:02 ◼   ► talking to people in in like pidgin [TS]

01:00:06 ◼   ► Slovak which I which is similar enough [TS]

01:00:10 ◼   ► to check that I by this point had [TS]

01:00:11 ◼   ► learned enough of it that I could greet [TS]

01:00:13 ◼   ► people and say like hello is there a [TS]

01:00:15 ◼   ► hotel and I got a lot of like sneers [TS]

01:00:18 ◼   ► from people and it was only sort of [TS]

01:00:22 ◼   ► right around this point that I realized [TS]

01:00:24 ◼   ► oh they are all speaking Hungarian and [TS]

01:00:27 ◼   ► so I'd been speaking to them in Slovakia [TS]

01:00:30 ◼   ► and that was a faux pas so these kids [TS]

01:00:34 ◼   ► explained it to me as I'm sitting there [TS]

01:00:36 ◼   ► going this you know this radio station [TS]

01:00:37 ◼   ► we're all listening to doesn't sound [TS]

01:00:39 ◼   ► like it's in Slovakia and they were like [TS]

01:00:42 ◼   ► hahaha ding-a-ling so then I broached [TS]

01:00:46 ◼   ► the topic can I stay with one of you [TS]

01:00:49 ◼   ► tonight [TS]

01:00:49 ◼   ► and then if then there's always that [TS]

01:00:52 ◼   ► like oops and everybody kind of looks at [TS]

01:00:55 ◼   ► their fingernails mm-hm [TS]

01:00:56 ◼   ► but I'd been doing this long enough that [TS]

01:00:58 ◼   ► I knew somebody was probably gonna step [TS]

01:01:00 ◼   ► forward 100% take that's right and [TS]

01:01:04 ◼   ► because I I'd asked already like is [TS]

01:01:07 ◼   ► there a hotel in this town and the [TS]

01:01:08 ◼   ► answer had come back no not really and [TS]

01:01:10 ◼   ► it's a pretty big town oh what it was [TS]

01:01:12 ◼   ► was there were hotels but they were all [TS]

01:01:14 ◼   ► booked up permanently and I heard this a [TS]

01:01:20 ◼   ► lot - yeah they're like four hotels in [TS]

01:01:22 ◼   ► town but they're all booked fully always [TS]

01:01:25 ◼   ► by people living in them so they're not [TS]

01:01:29 ◼   ► really hotels anymore they're apartments [TS]

01:01:32 ◼   ► Wow okay but they're they're like people [TS]

01:01:34 ◼   ► there they're workers here like highway [TS]

01:01:38 ◼   ► workers and they just live in the hotels [TS]

01:01:41 ◼   ► so don't bother calling the hotels [TS]

01:01:43 ◼   ► because there won't be any rooms now [TS]

01:01:46 ◼   ► whether or not that's true or not is [TS]

01:01:48 ◼   ► left to history but that was the that [TS]

01:01:52 ◼   ► was what allowed me to say well can I [TS]

01:01:53 ◼   ► stay with one of you and then they have [TS]

01:01:55 ◼   ► to look out and say it's raining it's 11 [TS]

01:01:58 ◼   ► o'clock at night so one of the kids says [TS]

01:02:00 ◼   ► look we're all leaving tomorrow [TS]

01:02:02 ◼   ► early in the morning on a big adventure [TS]

01:02:04 ◼   ► where we're going to Hungary for some [TS]

01:02:07 ◼   ► adventure [TS]

01:02:09 ◼   ► and so you can stay at my house I'll [TS]

01:02:12 ◼   ► stay at my friend's house and then but [TS]

01:02:17 ◼   ► but the problem with that is that we're [TS]

01:02:18 ◼   ► all gonna wake up at 7:00 in the morning [TS]

01:02:20 ◼   ► and you have to leave and I was like [TS]

01:02:23 ◼   ► that's fine that's great and then they [TS]

01:02:26 ◼   ► say well are my my place is like on the [TS]

01:02:29 ◼   ► other side of town which is only a [TS]

01:02:30 ◼   ► kilometer away it's not far but it's the [TS]

01:02:34 ◼   ► middle of the night it's raining they're [TS]

01:02:35 ◼   ► like hop in the car and we'll drive over [TS]

01:02:38 ◼   ► to the apartment and I'm like I haven't [TS]

01:02:42 ◼   ► been in a car in months [TS]

01:02:44 ◼   ► like on principle I'm walking from [TS]

01:02:47 ◼   ► Amsterdam to Istanbul but it's very hard [TS]

01:02:54 ◼   ► to look at these that look at this guy [TS]

01:02:56 ◼   ► who's like you can stay in my apartment [TS]

01:02:58 ◼   ► we're leaving now it's already now you [TS]

01:03:02 ◼   ► know you're not gonna get a full night's [TS]

01:03:04 ◼   ► sleep because by the time you get there [TS]

01:03:05 ◼   ► and fall asleep it's gonna be one in the [TS]

01:03:07 ◼   ► morning and we're I'm gonna show up at I [TS]

01:03:09 ◼   ► don't know what it was 6:00 a.m. or [TS]

01:03:10 ◼   ► something it's gonna be brutally early [TS]

01:03:13 ◼   ► and doesn't help to add a little element [TS]

01:03:18 ◼   ► of a little game to it that makes you [TS]

01:03:20 ◼   ► seem like a weirdo if you're gonna be at [TS]

01:03:21 ◼   ► the house right yeah right where I'm [TS]

01:03:24 ◼   ► like well just tell me where it is and [TS]

01:03:26 ◼   ► I'll walk you guys drive the American [TS]

01:03:28 ◼   ► does not want to get in a car just so [TS]

01:03:30 ◼   ► right here right I'm gonna walk there in [TS]

01:03:32 ◼   ► the rain I'm gonna walk that kilometer [TS]

01:03:34 ◼   ► you know we can look up the street and [TS]

01:03:36 ◼   ► they're like it's just up that street [TS]

01:03:38 ◼   ► it's just you can see up there where the [TS]

01:03:39 ◼   ► light is you turn and there's not even a [TS]

01:03:44 ◼   ► traffic light in this town or if there's [TS]

01:03:45 ◼   ► there's one but they're like up there [TS]

01:03:47 ◼   ► where that you know where that blue [TS]

01:03:48 ◼   ► light is and I'm like it's very close [TS]

01:03:50 ◼   ► it's I'm just gonna walk and they're [TS]

01:03:52 ◼   ► like um really like let's get this over [TS]

01:03:55 ◼   ► with and I'm like okay and I pile into [TS]

01:03:57 ◼   ► the car and we drive this one kilometer [TS]

01:03:59 ◼   ► then the guy puts me in his house and [TS]

01:04:02 ◼   ► I'm ensconced and he had one of those [TS]

01:04:08 ◼   ► weird houses where everything was in [TS]

01:04:10 ◼   ► black and white like he had a he had [TS]

01:04:12 ◼   ► like black-and-white checkerboard if he [TS]

01:04:14 ◼   ► went into his bathroom all of his all of [TS]

01:04:17 ◼   ► his like accoutrements were all black [TS]

01:04:19 ◼   ► and it seemed it seemed very [TS]

01:04:22 ◼   ► and it seemed very like there was a [TS]

01:04:23 ◼   ► Nagel print you know it was he had a [TS]

01:04:25 ◼   ► whole look look yeah but then in the [TS]

01:04:29 ◼   ► morning he wakes me up it's cold it's [TS]

01:04:31 ◼   ► it's foggy because we're in a river [TS]

01:04:34 ◼   ► bottom and I step out the door of his [TS]

01:04:38 ◼   ► apartment and I look up the road to the [TS]

01:04:43 ◼   ► center which is one kilometre back and I [TS]

01:04:47 ◼   ► look at my map and the direction I'm [TS]

01:04:50 ◼   ► going is the opposite way and it's gonna [TS]

01:04:54 ◼   ► take me probably a kilometer to get back [TS]

01:04:57 ◼   ► to the main road from this kit you know [TS]

01:04:59 ◼   ► in the opposite direction and like the [TS]

01:05:01 ◼   ► other side of the triangle and I and I [TS]

01:05:06 ◼   ► sit there and I go do I walk the [TS]

01:05:09 ◼   ► kilometer back to my starting point or [TS]

01:05:12 ◼   ► do I just start walking in the direction [TS]

01:05:15 ◼   ► that I'm going and the fog and the cold [TS]

01:05:19 ◼   ► and the and the fact that I was like uh [TS]

01:05:22 ◼   ► tired and fucked up and you know of [TS]

01:05:24 ◼   ► course there's no coffee anywhere so [TS]

01:05:26 ◼   ► there's a little over half a mile yeah [TS]

01:05:30 ◼   ► it doesn't seem that far it's not you [TS]

01:05:34 ◼   ► can't throw it you can't throw a frisbee [TS]

01:05:36 ◼   ► a kilometer even if you had a wrist [TS]

01:05:39 ◼   ► rocket and really pull back on it I [TS]

01:05:41 ◼   ► don't know if you could get a if you [TS]

01:05:43 ◼   ► could get a ball-bearing [TS]

01:05:45 ◼   ► a kilometer I I go frequently to a place [TS]

01:05:48 ◼   ► that's exactly half a mile from my house [TS]

01:05:50 ◼   ► and that's about an eight minute walk [TS]

01:05:53 ◼   ► yeah [TS]

01:05:54 ◼   ► right and so I don't I don't walk back [TS]

01:06:00 ◼   ► to get my boots on home plate which is [TS]

01:06:06 ◼   ► the last place my boots were before I [TS]

01:06:08 ◼   ► got into this car I just walked the [TS]

01:06:12 ◼   ► other way and I'm in it and I'm like [TS]

01:06:13 ◼   ► it's it's a kilometer back to the road [TS]

01:06:15 ◼   ► it's fine it just it makes up for itself [TS]

01:06:17 ◼   ► you know but I introduced into my system [TS]

01:06:25 ◼   ► which was that I was walking from [TS]

01:06:27 ◼   ► Amsterdam to Istanbul in an [TS]

01:06:29 ◼   ► uninterrupted series of beep [TS]

01:06:35 ◼   ► where I even would walk upstairs rather [TS]

01:06:37 ◼   ► than take an escalator I introduced this [TS]

01:06:43 ◼   ► one kilometer break which although I [TS]

01:06:49 ◼   ► walked 3,000 kilometers is still there [TS]

01:06:56 ◼   ► as a little tiny tiny little like [TS]

01:07:02 ◼   ► hairpin from one side of and not even [TS]

01:07:06 ◼   ► from one side of Kolarov o to the other [TS]

01:07:08 ◼   ► but just from centre of Kohler OVA to [TS]

01:07:10 ◼   ► this guy's apartment it's just a pea [TS]

01:07:13 ◼   ► under my mattress oh my god and I don't [TS]

01:07:16 ◼   ► let it discredit my whole thing oh my [TS]

01:07:21 ◼   ► god although there is at least one [TS]

01:07:24 ◼   ► legislator in the parliament that that [TS]

01:07:29 ◼   ► runs for office and gets elected every [TS]

01:07:32 ◼   ► every election cycle on the strength of [TS]

01:07:35 ◼   ► the fact that he wants an investigation [TS]

01:07:37 ◼   ► oh my god that's hanging over your head [TS]

01:07:39 ◼   ► he just is there he's just that one the [TS]

01:07:42 ◼   ► one parliamentarian who has an issue [TS]

01:07:45 ◼   ► with the one kilometre she's in the [TS]

01:07:47 ◼   ► opposition and for him you know that is [TS]

01:07:51 ◼   ► that's his like his like the the one [TS]

01:07:57 ◼   ► reason that he keeps getting elected [TS]

01:08:01 ◼   ► like it's his Benghazi that's his that's [TS]

01:08:03 ◼   ► his bringing coal back yeah and so he'll [TS]

01:08:08 ◼   ► never get he'll never put a coalition [TS]

01:08:11 ◼   ► together where he forms a new government [TS]

01:08:12 ◼   ► and there's an investigation into [TS]

01:08:14 ◼   ► whether that kilometre in Colorado is a [TS]

01:08:16 ◼   ► as a thing where I have to go back and [TS]

01:08:18 ◼   ► walk that whole distance again I have to [TS]

01:08:23 ◼   ► fly to Bratislava and take a bus to coal [TS]

01:08:27 ◼   ► or ovo and make that and and close that [TS]

01:08:31 ◼   ► link but that walk across Europe was the [TS]

01:08:36 ◼   ► first thing I ever finished the first [TS]

01:08:38 ◼   ► thing that I ever concluded all the way [TS]

01:08:41 ◼   ► then I got there and I was like I did it [TS]

01:08:43 ◼   ► I went the whole distance there were a [TS]

01:08:44 ◼   ► million things [TS]

01:08:46 ◼   ► million reasons why I shouldn't have [TS]

01:08:47 ◼   ► including that it was a stupid idea to [TS]

01:08:50 ◼   ► begin with but along the way there there [TS]

01:08:53 ◼   ► were fifty opportunities to just be like [TS]

01:08:55 ◼   ► you know what this is fine like I made [TS]

01:08:56 ◼   ► it all the way to Stara Zagora I can [TS]

01:09:00 ◼   ► just like I can cash my chips now and I [TS]

01:09:04 ◼   ► never did I made it the whole way with [TS]

01:09:07 ◼   ► the exception of this kilometer and the [TS]

01:09:11 ◼   ► it's not only the first thing I ever [TS]

01:09:14 ◼   ► finished but also I get to keep it in [TS]

01:09:20 ◼   ► that category of things that if I want [TS]

01:09:22 ◼   ► to say you know if I want to look at it [TS]

01:09:24 ◼   ► if I want it to be an unopened diploma [TS]

01:09:26 ◼   ► on my shelf I can I can also shift my [TS]

01:09:31 ◼   ► perception in and have it be that that [TS]

01:09:39 ◼   ► might be the most John Rodrick story [TS]

01:09:40 ◼   ► you've ever told [TS]

01:09:48 ◼   ► sure anymore what makes it what what is [TS]

01:09:52 ◼   ► the qualification of that but no they'll [TS]

01:09:55 ◼   ► know [TS]

01:09:56 ◼   ► [Music] [TS]

01:09:59 ◼   ► a kilometer okay okay hang on before we [TS]

01:10:07 ◼   ► go one more thing John yes we got to [TS]

01:10:09 ◼   ► tell people you need to come see us at a [TS]

01:10:10 ◼   ► sketch fest oh yeah we're we're next [TS]

01:10:14 ◼   ► Monday instead of doing our show as we [TS]

01:10:16 ◼   ► normally do we're gonna be doing a live [TS]

01:10:18 ◼   ► show best yeah so come on see there's [TS]

01:10:21 ◼   ► lots of good stuff going on but the fuck [TS]

01:10:23 ◼   ► all that [TS]

01:10:23 ◼   ► come see us you go buy tickets there's [TS]

01:10:25 ◼   ► Lincoln show notes that you can find or [TS]

01:10:27 ◼   ► you can google Rodrick on the line [TS]

01:10:28 ◼   ► Sketchfest [TS]

01:10:29 ◼   ► but we'd love it if you came out to see [TS]

01:10:31 ◼   ► us do yes for sure [TS]

01:10:34 ◼   ► Travel long travel long distances to [TS]

01:10:36 ◼   ► come see you well kilometer [TS]

01:10:39 ◼   ► [Music] [TS]