Hello Internet

00:00:00 ◼   ► okay is not cutesy yeah you have not

00:00:02 ◼   ► understood what Icarus no uncle wouldn't

00:00:05 ◼   ► be cute

00:00:05 ◼   ► oka would be like there are the cash

00:00:08 ◼   ► bastard have you lose the cash bastard

00:00:10 ◼   ► yeah yeah I paid I paid for my toes with

00:00:13 ◼   ► the cash bastard hmm I'm thinking like

00:00:15 ◼   ► akka is is like the ha for getting the

00:00:18 ◼   ► word but like the Japanese word for

00:00:20 ◼   ► cuteness that a thousand people will put

00:00:21 ◼   ► it in the comments no awkwardness is

00:00:23 ◼   ► very masculine and it's very unrefined

00:00:27 ◼   ► not always obscene but someone who's

00:00:30 ◼   ► aqua is very likely to use a lot of

00:00:31 ◼   ► swear words haka in my head it feels

00:00:33 ◼   ► like a koala with big eyes that's what

00:00:35 ◼   ► aqua feels like really oh no you have

00:00:38 ◼   ► not understood okay I'm gonna improve

00:00:40 ◼   ► your education on that with some

00:00:42 ◼   ► materials I think I like this definition

00:00:44 ◼   ► of ARCA much better oka is like

00:00:46 ◼   ► Australian cuteness we have talked a

00:00:49 ◼   ► little bit about Disney we were talking

00:00:52 ◼   ► about the fastpasses

00:00:53 ◼   ► which yes I don't even want to get into

00:00:54 ◼   ► it but boy did I discover that fast

00:00:58 ◼   ► passes work different everywhere they

00:01:00 ◼   ► were different in different Disney parks

00:01:02 ◼   ► we got explained in the reddit all of

00:01:04 ◼   ► the various algorithms that exist with

00:01:07 ◼   ► fast passes everywhere in the world and

00:01:09 ◼   ► I left feeling ten times more confused

00:01:11 ◼   ► than it had started but I am

00:01:13 ◼   ► appreciative to everybody who wrote in

00:01:14 ◼   ► all that stuff but it's like holy hell

00:01:16 ◼   ► fast passes are complicated that must be

00:01:19 ◼   ► a in the top 10 or top 20 of most fed

00:01:21 ◼   ► back things we've ever got and I

00:01:24 ◼   ► understand maybe we made some mistakes

00:01:25 ◼   ► and if you want to understand it just go

00:01:27 ◼   ► to the subreddit from that previous

00:01:29 ◼   ► episode and knock yourself out

00:01:31 ◼   ► fill your books but one thing I did

00:01:34 ◼   ► notice is obviously a lot of people who

00:01:36 ◼   ► work for Disney listen to hello internet

00:01:38 ◼   ► because a lot of them got in touch and

00:01:39 ◼   ► one thing which I was obviously aware of

00:01:42 ◼   ► before and was emphasized by these

00:01:44 ◼   ► messages and I just wonder what you

00:01:45 ◼   ► think about it is the fact that Disney

00:01:47 ◼   ► call their staff cast members this is

00:01:51 ◼   ► like obviously a very Disney thing in

00:01:52 ◼   ► there I think they're known for it and

00:01:54 ◼   ► the staff seem to like it too because

00:01:55 ◼   ► they always like referring to themselves

00:01:56 ◼   ► as cast members what do you think of

00:02:00 ◼   ► that

00:02:00 ◼   ► alright are you giggling already baby

00:02:05 ◼   ► because I know what I'm talking

00:02:07 ◼   ► we will never discuss this but I know

00:02:08 ◼   ► you well enough to think you must have

00:02:10 ◼   ► used on this and I think that will

00:02:11 ◼   ► entertain me

00:02:12 ◼   ► I don't have use okay sort of do it cozy

00:02:17 ◼   ► day because this kind of crap I hate

00:02:20 ◼   ► when businesses do when it's like oh

00:02:23 ◼   ► we're a family and you're a guest in our

00:02:26 ◼   ► company here coming to visit us and the

00:02:30 ◼   ► like false familiarity and the false

00:02:34 ◼   ► chumminess it really rubs me the wrong

00:02:36 ◼   ► way yeah except somehow somehow the

00:02:40 ◼   ► magic Disney Tinkerbell pixie dust has

00:02:44 ◼   ► gotten into my brain and I feel like I'm

00:02:47 ◼   ► perfectly okay with the Disney staff

00:02:48 ◼   ► being called cast members I'm perfectly

00:02:50 ◼   ► happy with probably in Disney corporate

00:02:52 ◼   ► lingo than referring to the guests like

00:02:56 ◼   ► as guests right as opposed to customers

00:02:59 ◼   ► right so I feel like I'm perfectly fine

00:03:01 ◼   ► with this with Disney I'm not sure there

00:03:03 ◼   ► are very many other companies in the

00:03:05 ◼   ► whole world I would be okay with this

00:03:07 ◼   ► but I'm gonna give it a thumbs up I'm

00:03:09 ◼   ► perfectly fine with it all right

00:03:10 ◼   ► disappointed Brady do you think I'd be

00:03:12 ◼   ► angrier I did actually I'm a bit

00:03:14 ◼   ► disappointed I didn't think you'd give

00:03:15 ◼   ► Disney such a pass I didn't think he'd

00:03:17 ◼   ► be so suckered by the corporate behemoth

00:03:20 ◼   ► that is Disney into thinking it's like

00:03:21 ◼   ► Tinkerbell and stuff

00:03:23 ◼   ► isn't that what Disney is aren't they

00:03:25 ◼   ► small and vulnerable and charming like

00:03:28 ◼   ► Tinkerbell and you just have to believe

00:03:30 ◼   ► in them otherwise they'll go away and

00:03:32 ◼   ► not one of the world's largest companies

00:03:34 ◼   ► yeah that's why I think it's funny like

00:03:36 ◼   ► it totally shouldn't work on me but for

00:03:38 ◼   ► some reason it just does tell me why

00:03:40 ◼   ► that term though why cast members why

00:03:43 ◼   ► would that have been chosen as the way

00:03:45 ◼   ► to describe staff of the theme park I

00:03:48 ◼   ► just realized is this supposed to refer

00:03:49 ◼   ► to staff in addition to the people in

00:03:53 ◼   ► the costumes like does cast members

00:03:55 ◼   ► refer to everybody no I think Pete like

00:03:58 ◼   ► the person assuring you onto the roller

00:04:00 ◼   ► coaster is a cast member okay but what

00:04:03 ◼   ► what about the guy doing paperwork in an

00:04:06 ◼   ► office on the park now I don't know now

00:04:09 ◼   ► you've got me wondering is that guy a

00:04:10 ◼   ► cast member but see the thing is I feel

00:04:13 ◼   ► like I could actually make an argument

00:04:14 ◼   ► for him being a cast member because if

00:04:16 ◼   ► you're putting on a big show and it

00:04:18 ◼   ► feels like a Disney park is kind of like

00:04:20 ◼   ► a big show even though it's really a

00:04:22 ◼   ► machine lets you feed the mouse it's

00:04:24 ◼   ► kind of like a big show

00:04:26 ◼   ► so like on a Broadway show are members

00:04:29 ◼   ► of the crew are they called cast members

00:04:31 ◼   ► - I don't know if they are not I don't

00:04:33 ◼   ► know I imagined all the public facing

00:04:35 ◼   ► people were cast members not just the

00:04:37 ◼   ► person that dressed as Mickey I will

00:04:39 ◼   ► give Disney a pass for every person that

00:04:41 ◼   ► a guest would see in the park I think

00:04:45 ◼   ► that's okay to call them cast members

00:04:46 ◼   ► even if you're the person like saying

00:04:49 ◼   ► okay you go and sit in that seat on the

00:04:50 ◼   ► roller coaster yes I think I'm gonna

00:04:52 ◼   ► give Disney a pass on that one but only

00:04:53 ◼   ► Disney okay don't even think about it

00:04:55 ◼   ► Six Flags you're not getting a pass on

00:04:57 ◼   ► this one for me all right I'm only gonna

00:04:59 ◼   ► give it to Disney I think that's the way

00:05:00 ◼   ► this works

00:05:01 ◼   ► Amaya hello Internet cast member yes I

00:05:04 ◼   ► think you are Brady I am however I think

00:05:06 ◼   ► our corporate policy should not be to

00:05:08 ◼   ► use these terms like I think you are we

00:05:11 ◼   ► were better described as a co-host of

00:05:14 ◼   ► the show don't you think that's a more

00:05:15 ◼   ► accurate way to describe it do you think

00:05:17 ◼   ► describing me as a co-host rightly or

00:05:20 ◼   ► wrongly is belittling like because if

00:05:23 ◼   ► someone said they were the co-pilot that

00:05:26 ◼   ► doesn't sound as awesome as saying like

00:05:27 ◼   ► you're the captain or you're the pilot

00:05:29 ◼   ► the other copilot makes it sound like

00:05:30 ◼   ► you're the junior guy in the right seat

00:05:32 ◼   ► who occasionally gets to land if there's

00:05:34 ◼   ► no wind and stuff now I know you don't

00:05:36 ◼   ► describe yourself differently you also

00:05:37 ◼   ► call yourself a co-host but do you think

00:05:39 ◼   ► is the term co-host sounds like you're

00:05:42 ◼   ► the vice president because I say

00:05:44 ◼   ► sometimes I'm the co-host of a podcast

00:05:47 ◼   ► called hello Internet does that make me

00:05:48 ◼   ► sound less than if I said I was a host I

00:05:51 ◼   ► think what you've done here is that

00:05:52 ◼   ► you've done like an anchoring effect

00:05:53 ◼   ► that by mentioning pilots which is one

00:05:57 ◼   ► of the cases where the copilot does mean

00:06:00 ◼   ► something else

00:06:00 ◼   ► mm I can't wait to hear from all the

00:06:02 ◼   ► pilots co-pilots they should be called

00:06:04 ◼   ► sub pilots it's not the co-pilot

00:06:06 ◼   ► because the captain is right that's the

00:06:10 ◼   ► way that works well I don't want to be

00:06:11 ◼   ► called the sub host of hello intimate I

00:06:13 ◼   ► wouldn't mind being called the vice host

00:06:15 ◼   ► no but that's worse I know it's worse

00:06:17 ◼   ► but I just think it sounds funny no

00:06:19 ◼   ► that's way worse you can't be the vice

00:06:20 ◼   ► host of the show that makes no sense at

00:06:22 ◼   ► all that's what makes if you ever

00:06:23 ◼   ► incapacitated I would be the host no 3d

00:06:27 ◼   ► it's not how this works these titles

00:06:29 ◼   ► work so I think you have anchored it in

00:06:32 ◼   ► bringing up maybe the one or very few

00:06:35 ◼   ► places where Co actually means sub

00:06:38 ◼   ► that's fair enough I said I see you

00:06:40 ◼   ► you're saying and I agree with what

00:06:41 ◼   ► you're saying but I still think Co does

00:06:44 ◼   ► have a slight belittling effect because

00:06:47 ◼   ► it says you don't do it on your own like

00:06:50 ◼   ► if you were the co first person to step

00:06:52 ◼   ► on top of Mount Everest as opposed to

00:06:54 ◼   ► being the first person it's not as

00:06:55 ◼   ► awesome you've kind of lost a bit of

00:06:57 ◼   ► your glory because it's not all yours I

00:06:59 ◼   ► will totally grant that if Hillary and

00:07:02 ◼   ► Eva wrists held hands and stepped tents

00:07:04 ◼   ► on the mountain or Tenzing at the same

00:07:06 ◼   ► time

00:07:07 ◼   ► Tenzing siffredi right it would be

00:07:10 ◼   ► amazing if the first person on top of

00:07:12 ◼   ► Mount Everest also happened to be caught

00:07:13 ◼   ► Everest yeah like George Everest or

00:07:16 ◼   ► whatever that's right that's how it's

00:07:18 ◼   ► named after but he never climbed it well

00:07:20 ◼   ► I'm spinning a tale of magic here that

00:07:23 ◼   ► if Hillary and Eva is a held hands and

00:07:26 ◼   ► stepped on top at the same time yeah or

00:07:28 ◼   ► if Armstrong and come on Zizi

00:07:34 ◼   ► I'm strong and Buzz Aldrin Aldrin oh

00:07:40 ◼   ► thank you thank you like okay I should

00:07:43 ◼   ► have got that one I should have gotten

00:07:44 ◼   ► that if they held hands and jumped onto

00:07:47 ◼   ► the moon at the same time yeah like I

00:07:49 ◼   ► would be going back through the footage

00:07:50 ◼   ► and going frame by frame like whose foot

00:07:52 ◼   ► landed first right like I'm gonna

00:07:54 ◼   ► disallow this notion that your co first

00:07:58 ◼   ► men on the moon you're the co first

00:07:59 ◼   ► climbers of the mountain that's not how

00:08:02 ◼   ► this works this is a debate that centers

00:08:04 ◼   ► around the climbing of men Everest it

00:08:06 ◼   ► was always an often discussed topic as

00:08:09 ◼   ► to who actually led the way and stepped

00:08:12 ◼   ► on the summit of Mount Everest first out

00:08:14 ◼   ► of Hillary and Tenzing it was like a

00:08:15 ◼   ► huge debate and they never wanted to

00:08:18 ◼   ► answer the question and talk about it

00:08:19 ◼   ► because for all the sort of people of

00:08:22 ◼   ► Nepal they like to think it was Tenzing

00:08:24 ◼   ► and for people through the Commonwealth

00:08:25 ◼   ► I think they liked to think it was

00:08:27 ◼   ► Hillary and it wasn't until one of

00:08:28 ◼   ► Hillary's late autobiographies came out

00:08:30 ◼   ► that he actually put in writing that he

00:08:33 ◼   ► was actually in front and got to the top

00:08:35 ◼   ► first according to him

00:08:37 ◼   ► tensing's dead so he couldn't argue with

00:08:38 ◼   ► it but Hillary's dead too now by the way

00:08:40 ◼   ► but okay yeah time to wait right yeah

00:08:44 ◼   ► yeah we all know was a Sherpa right

00:08:46 ◼   ► that's the first person on the top of

00:08:47 ◼   ► the mountain let's the era clearly gonna

00:08:49 ◼   ► be the case that's not what Hillary said

00:08:51 ◼   ► in his book but anyway

00:08:52 ◼   ► I don't even know how we got onto this

00:08:54 ◼   ► topic we were talking about Disney cast

00:08:55 ◼   ► members the way we got onto this topic

00:08:57 ◼   ► is as always the Brady wandering through

00:09:00 ◼   ► the valley of misplaced metaphors and

00:09:02 ◼   ► analogies yeah and I think yes you are

00:09:05 ◼   ► correct that being the co person to

00:09:08 ◼   ► discover a thing or get to a place is a

00:09:10 ◼   ► ridiculous notion yeah I don't think Co

00:09:13 ◼   ► in the in the world of podcasts has any

00:09:17 ◼   ► kind of sub meaning yeah because I think

00:09:19 ◼   ► the most directly comparable thing is

00:09:22 ◼   ► like companies where people Co found a

00:09:26 ◼   ► company because you're not getting to a

00:09:29 ◼   ► place you're making a thing together but

00:09:31 ◼   ► even then and as I said it's still

00:09:33 ◼   ► awesome to found a company but isn't it

00:09:35 ◼   ► more awesome to be the only founder

00:09:37 ◼   ► rather than a co-founder like saying I'm

00:09:39 ◼   ► the co-founder of something means mmm I

00:09:42 ◼   ► wonder who like had more of the ideas

00:09:45 ◼   ► and who was cleverer and who's richer

00:09:47 ◼   ► and like it just shows those seeds there

00:09:50 ◼   ► CONUS it's like hmm you say you're the

00:09:53 ◼   ► co-discoverer of that comic but does

00:09:54 ◼   ► that mean the other guy actually saw it

00:09:56 ◼   ► first and this is just a technical

00:09:58 ◼   ► reason we have to call you the

00:09:59 ◼   ► co-discoverer you know what's really

00:10:00 ◼   ► funny about this Brady I think there is

00:10:02 ◼   ► something I have recently really gotten

00:10:04 ◼   ► an understanding of with you that I

00:10:05 ◼   ► haven't had over these lo these many

00:10:07 ◼   ► years hmm which is your competitiveness

00:10:11 ◼   ► you've mentioned to me about your

00:10:13 ◼   ► competitiveness and you we've talked

00:10:15 ◼   ► about it on the show sometimes like at

00:10:17 ◼   ► you're competitive person but I feel

00:10:18 ◼   ► like I have only recently actually

00:10:20 ◼   ► understood this on a more deep level and

00:10:22 ◼   ► somehow this conversation about the

00:10:24 ◼   ► nature of co versus solo yeah I feel

00:10:28 ◼   ► like I get this deep down this is a

00:10:30 ◼   ► question of competitiveness and Brady

00:10:33 ◼   ► there cannot be ties right someone must

00:10:36 ◼   ► win and isn't it better to win than to

00:10:39 ◼   ► tie I think that's what's going on here

00:10:41 ◼   ► Brady I think that's my interpretation

00:10:42 ◼   ► of what's going on in your Brady mind I

00:10:44 ◼   ► don't think that's true like in the case

00:10:46 ◼   ► of hello Internet I mean hello internet

00:10:47 ◼   ► was your idea you came up with a you did

00:10:50 ◼   ► all the work at start so like I would

00:10:52 ◼   ► consider if we had to say who is the

00:10:54 ◼   ► junior person of course it would be me

00:10:57 ◼   ► like I wouldn't doubt it for a second so

00:10:58 ◼   ► it's not like I'm thinking ah why am i

00:11:00 ◼   ► Co it's not fair like I have no problem

00:11:03 ◼   ► with that it just gets me thinking about

00:11:04 ◼   ► the word Co I think we are we are

00:11:07 ◼   ► because Brady no we're doing here yeah

00:11:10 ◼   ► we're building a beautiful thing

00:11:11 ◼   ► together in the last episode you

00:11:16 ◼   ► mentioned that you had a new wedding

00:11:18 ◼   ► ring that your wife got for you because

00:11:19 ◼   ► your previously chubby fingers have been

00:11:22 ◼   ► replaced with new alive 55,000 that's

00:11:27 ◼   ► exactly the way I phrased it yeah yes my

00:11:29 ◼   ► chubby chubby hands so as someone who

00:11:32 ◼   ► doesn't like to hoard objects I didn't

00:11:35 ◼   ► get the chance to ask because the topic

00:11:37 ◼   ► sort of moved on what have you done with

00:11:39 ◼   ► your old wedding ring the original uh I

00:11:42 ◼   ► don't know where it is all I know is

00:11:46 ◼   ► that it is somewhere under the aegis of

00:11:49 ◼   ► my wife's protection I can she has it

00:11:51 ◼   ► somewhere it still exists it's in the

00:11:54 ◼   ► house someplace it hasn't been thrown

00:11:57 ◼   ► into Mount Doom or anything like that no

00:12:00 ◼   ► it hasn't been thrown into Mount Doom I

00:12:02 ◼   ► don't think I could throw it into Mount

00:12:04 ◼   ► Doom I would I would stand upon the

00:12:05 ◼   ► precipice and resist wear that the case

00:12:07 ◼   ► speaking of dropping things into Mount

00:12:09 ◼   ► Doom you know I left my Segway so I'm

00:12:12 ◼   ► just gonna go with that you know how I

00:12:15 ◼   ► talk about how I'm invincible when it

00:12:17 ◼   ► comes to dropping phones and I can drop

00:12:18 ◼   ► I literally have dropped my phone off a

00:12:20 ◼   ► cliff and it didn't break mm-hmm I was

00:12:23 ◼   ► listening to the last podcast of ours

00:12:25 ◼   ► because I like to check to see what made

00:12:27 ◼   ► it into the final episode about me

00:12:30 ◼   ► saying how invincible I was dropping my

00:12:32 ◼   ► phone when I bumped into a lady I knew

00:12:35 ◼   ► at the park walking dogs so I stopped

00:12:37 ◼   ► the podcast and was started talking to

00:12:39 ◼   ► her and while I was fiddling with my

00:12:40 ◼   ► headphones and trying to put my phone

00:12:42 ◼   ► away I dropped my phone onto the

00:12:44 ◼   ► Ashville path we were standing on and it

00:12:47 ◼   ► landed facedown and went bang and the

00:12:50 ◼   ► woman oh my goodness oh no and I said to

00:12:52 ◼   ► her before I even pick up my phone I

00:12:54 ◼   ► said don't worry there's no chance it's

00:12:55 ◼   ► broken I leaned over turned around the

00:12:58 ◼   ► face pristine absolutely pristine she

00:13:01 ◼   ► was like oh my goodness how did you know

00:13:03 ◼   ► it wasn't broken

00:13:04 ◼   ► i lo my phone never breaks no case or

00:13:08 ◼   ► anything bang I think with that story

00:13:10 ◼   ► all of the credit goes to your

00:13:13 ◼   ► superpowers hmm and none of it goes to

00:13:16 ◼   ► the hundreds of materials engineers

00:13:18 ◼   ► who've been working on the magic

00:13:21 ◼   ► quote glass that isn't glass at all

00:13:23 ◼   ► that's on the front of those screens but

00:13:24 ◼   ► my wife sneezes on her iPhone and it

00:13:27 ◼   ► shatters into a thousand pieces that

00:13:28 ◼   ► sounds a little bit overblown that's a

00:13:30 ◼   ► description what skirt sounded good they

00:13:34 ◼   ► did it it does sound good

00:13:36 ◼   ► it would make a fantastic Android

00:13:38 ◼   ► commercial like they hire here wife she

00:13:39 ◼   ► sneezes on the phone into a thousand

00:13:43 ◼   ► pieces

00:13:43 ◼   ► hey what they've since then and since I

00:13:46 ◼   ► last saw you which wasn't long ago I've

00:13:47 ◼   ► changed my iphone Oh help me Brady you

00:13:51 ◼   ► were using the iPhone se mm-hm and you

00:13:55 ◼   ► have you've changed now I'm trying at

00:13:58 ◼   ► the moment the the newest one plus

00:14:01 ◼   ► you're trying the plus I am I'm trying

00:14:04 ◼   ► it I can't remember now cuz I feel like

00:14:06 ◼   ► we've switched phones a bunch of times

00:14:08 ◼   ► and though in the course of the podcast

00:14:10 ◼   ► have you ever used a plus phone before

00:14:11 ◼   ► no it's my first plus okay what do you

00:14:14 ◼   ► think of the plus pros and cons okay

00:14:16 ◼   ► pros and cons it's a hell of a thing to

00:14:18 ◼   ► go to after the SE it is an occasionally

00:14:21 ◼   ► I go back to my se for certain things

00:14:22 ◼   ► still and it does feel very small now

00:14:24 ◼   ► mm-hmm

00:14:24 ◼   ► of course but I'm undecided I'm gonna

00:14:27 ◼   ► stick with it for a while because it's

00:14:29 ◼   ► really expensive and I paid a lot of

00:14:31 ◼   ► money for us I'm gonna use it for a

00:14:32 ◼   ► while yeah this is that cheap no say I'm

00:14:35 ◼   ► kind of stuck with it now but it's good

00:14:38 ◼   ► for some things the main reason I got it

00:14:41 ◼   ► was because I found myself watching so

00:14:42 ◼   ► much a video on my phone that I wanted a

00:14:45 ◼   ► bigger screen for video watching like

00:14:47 ◼   ► whether it's just watching sports

00:14:48 ◼   ► highlights or graphs of videos that

00:14:51 ◼   ► people are editing with me

00:14:52 ◼   ► professionally and stuff and for that

00:14:53 ◼   ► I'm liking it it's nice to quickly you

00:14:55 ◼   ► know watch the goals that have been

00:14:56 ◼   ► scored in the football that day on on

00:14:58 ◼   ► the biggest ground but the reaching

00:15:00 ◼   ► around and navigating the screen with my

00:15:02 ◼   ► mortal human fingers which I don't think

00:15:05 ◼   ► I have overly small hands but there

00:15:07 ◼   ► certainly no match for the plus screen

00:15:10 ◼   ► nobody has hands that are a match

00:15:11 ◼   ► smartphone it's awesome no man can do it

00:15:14 ◼   ► only Giants I like using my phone while

00:15:17 ◼   ► I'm walking like you know walking down

00:15:19 ◼   ► the street and you don't want to use two

00:15:20 ◼   ► hands when you're doing that so I'm a

00:15:22 ◼   ► big one-handed phone user I find it very

00:15:25 ◼   ► hard to switch to two hand phone use I

00:15:27 ◼   ► just don't think it's a fit for me and I

00:15:29 ◼   ► don't think the plus is suited to

00:15:32 ◼   ► one-handed phone users so unless I get

00:15:34 ◼   ► down with the kids and start becoming a

00:15:36 ◼   ► two-handed phone user I'm gonna continue

00:15:39 ◼   ► to be frustrated by is that what the

00:15:41 ◼   ► kids do Brady the kids are the

00:15:42 ◼   ► two-handed phone users a parent that's

00:15:44 ◼   ► what someone told me apparently that's a

00:15:46 ◼   ► young person's game it's two-handed

00:15:48 ◼   ► phone use well I do have a little bit of

00:15:50 ◼   ► good news for you because I am running

00:15:53 ◼   ► the beta version of the next operating

00:15:55 ◼   ► system on my phone currently on my plus

00:15:58 ◼   ► size phone hmm and I've sent you a

00:16:00 ◼   ► picture that they have finally conceded

00:16:02 ◼   ► and acknowledged that this phone is too

00:16:05 ◼   ► big for people's hands and there is a

00:16:08 ◼   ► scrunched over to the left keyboard in

00:16:10 ◼   ► the iPhone plus that makes one-handed

00:16:13 ◼   ► texting easier to do see the one thing I

00:16:16 ◼   ► do want is a big keyboard because I was

00:16:18 ◼   ► having problems I'm a small phone of

00:16:20 ◼   ► miss typing all the time I felt like I

00:16:22 ◼   ► was making more typos so one of my

00:16:23 ◼   ► keyboard buttons further apart that's

00:16:25 ◼   ► the one thing I don't want okay then I

00:16:29 ◼   ► have no good news for you Brady I'm

00:16:30 ◼   ► sorry I thought you were going to be

00:16:31 ◼   ► happy the top of the phone is just like

00:16:34 ◼   ► a wasteland mm-hmm that I can't get to

00:16:36 ◼   ► right I'm using the plus you know I

00:16:39 ◼   ► haven't been happy with any of the

00:16:40 ◼   ► phones really for like what four years

00:16:42 ◼   ► now with this rounded design that I've

00:16:46 ◼   ► just been very sad and frustrated with

00:16:48 ◼   ► it is also frustrating that app

00:16:50 ◼   ► designers and everybody keeps putting

00:16:52 ◼   ► stuff at the top of the phone it's like

00:16:53 ◼   ► hey yeah that might as well be a hundred

00:16:56 ◼   ► miles away yeah I can't reach that why

00:16:58 ◼   ► don't you put all the controls at the

00:16:59 ◼   ► bottom of the phone the bottom of the

00:17:00 ◼   ► phone is where the action is yeah I need

00:17:03 ◼   ► to do a big icon rearrange I know

00:17:04 ◼   ► there's all these little trick things

00:17:05 ◼   ► but I need to start putting my go-to

00:17:07 ◼   ► apps like my Twitter and stuff like that

00:17:09 ◼   ► down low where my thumb can get to yeah

00:17:12 ◼   ► if you switch to the big phone you have

00:17:14 ◼   ► to reverse everything everything that's

00:17:15 ◼   ► a frequent use that's got to go at the

00:17:17 ◼   ► bottom yeah like my iMessages maps like

00:17:20 ◼   ► calendar all of that stuff have got to

00:17:22 ◼   ► be at the bottom of the phone I need to

00:17:23 ◼   ► do that and then I'll relearn it in a

00:17:25 ◼   ► day or two so it is very hard to get rid

00:17:27 ◼   ► of that muscle memory though yeah I

00:17:28 ◼   ► almost hate to bring this up Brady but

00:17:30 ◼   ► you do know the time that we're

00:17:32 ◼   ► recording this is this is like right

00:17:34 ◼   ► before new iPhone season are you aware

00:17:36 ◼   ► of this

00:17:37 ◼   ► I do but whatever he just couldn't wait

00:17:40 ◼   ► anymore I don't think I'm gonna like the

00:17:42 ◼   ► new ones as much like I'm liking them

00:17:44 ◼   ► less as they go

00:17:46 ◼   ► so I'm figuring they're gonna do

00:17:47 ◼   ► something else I don't like on the next

00:17:49 ◼   ► one you know they'll remove whatever

00:17:51 ◼   ► ports are left I would say no we don't

00:17:54 ◼   ► think screens are the way of the future

00:17:56 ◼   ► everything's just gonna be smelled now

00:17:59 ◼   ► like I don't know you never know what

00:18:01 ◼   ► they're gonna do so get in before they

00:18:02 ◼   ► ruin it more ill if the rumors are did

00:18:04 ◼   ► we believe they're taking away the home

00:18:05 ◼   ► button on the next phone yeah

00:18:07 ◼   ► we'll see but uh I wish you were happier

00:18:10 ◼   ► with your phone I wish I was happier

00:18:11 ◼   ► with my phone but it is a hell of a

00:18:13 ◼   ► transition going from the little one to

00:18:14 ◼   ► the big one

00:18:15 ◼   ► you've got to reverse absolutely

00:18:16 ◼   ► everything I'm sorry that the smouched

00:18:18 ◼   ► over keyboard is of no assistance to you

00:18:20 ◼   ► hmm

00:18:21 ◼   ► iPhones they've been frustrating for the

00:18:23 ◼   ► last four years yeah hopefully less

00:18:26 ◼   ► frustrating soon but I'm not necessarily

00:18:29 ◼   ► holding my breath on that one

00:18:30 ◼   ► you remind me of like those football

00:18:32 ◼   ► fans whose team loses every season and

00:18:34 ◼   ► at the start of every season they're

00:18:36 ◼   ► like this is the one this is the year

00:18:37 ◼   ► we're gonna get it together and go all

00:18:39 ◼   ► the way and then yet again disappointed

00:18:42 ◼   ► I am simply saying I am hopeful about

00:18:45 ◼   ► the next phone I'm not expecting to be

00:18:48 ◼   ► happy okay we'll see in a in a couple

00:18:50 ◼   ► short months but big phones too big

00:18:53 ◼   ► little phones too outdated middle phone

00:18:56 ◼   ► both too big and too small that's the

00:18:59 ◼   ► situation oh and they're all made of

00:19:01 ◼   ► soap I've actually put a case on this

00:19:03 ◼   ► one believe it or not why have you put a

00:19:04 ◼   ► case on these phones Brady you don't

00:19:06 ◼   ► have to worry about dropping them at all

00:19:07 ◼   ► you have some kind of superpower you can

00:19:09 ◼   ► confidently tell ladies in the street

00:19:10 ◼   ► don't worry my phone it's unbroken yeah

00:19:13 ◼   ► but the problem is the longer that goes

00:19:15 ◼   ► the more disappointed I'll be when I

00:19:18 ◼   ► finally break one so now I'm taking

00:19:20 ◼   ► steps to minimize breakage so I can keep

00:19:23 ◼   ► your streak yeah and like not only is

00:19:25 ◼   ► this one soapy but because I can't hold

00:19:27 ◼   ► it the way I like with my safe one hand

00:19:30 ◼   ► one finger underneath back up mm-hmm I

00:19:32 ◼   ► just know that more drops are imminent

00:19:34 ◼   ► so need a bit of friction

00:19:36 ◼   ► I'm not worried Brady I have confidence

00:19:38 ◼   ► in you from now until the end of time no

00:19:42 ◼   ► broken phones

00:19:42 ◼   ► that's the Brady promise this episode of

00:19:46 ◼   ► Hello Internet is brought to you in part

00:19:47 ◼   ► by Harry's are you a human with hair on

00:19:50 ◼   ► your body that you want to shave off

00:19:52 ◼   ► well guess what this is the ad for you

00:19:55 ◼   ► because Harry's is all about a great

00:19:58 ◼   ► shave at a fair

00:20:00 ◼   ► price which is why over three million

00:20:03 ◼   ► people use Harry's the company was

00:20:06 ◼   ► started by Jeff and Andy two ordinary

00:20:09 ◼   ► guys fed up with buying overpriced

00:20:12 ◼   ► razors they started Harry's to fix

00:20:14 ◼   ► shaving and bought their own German

00:20:17 ◼   ► factory with a hundred years of blade

00:20:19 ◼   ► making experience to ensure the highest

00:20:21 ◼   ► quality for all of your hair shaving

00:20:24 ◼   ► needs the thing about Harry's is they're

00:20:27 ◼   ► not just quality razor blades they're

00:20:29 ◼   ► razor blades sent right to your door

00:20:32 ◼   ► you don't have to go outside with that

00:20:35 ◼   ► hair on your face or wherever you can

00:20:38 ◼   ► have the razor blades shipped to your

00:20:41 ◼   ► house and take care of that shaving

00:20:44 ◼   ► problem behind closed doors never have

00:20:47 ◼   ► to step outside it's fantastic they're

00:20:50 ◼   ► so confident that you'll like their

00:20:51 ◼   ► razors that all their products are

00:20:53 ◼   ► backed with a 100% quality guarantee

00:20:56 ◼   ► Harry's offers the best blades at half

00:20:59 ◼   ► the price of the leading razor brands

00:21:02 ◼   ► directly over the Internet to you and if

00:21:05 ◼   ► you want to get them for someone else

00:21:07 ◼   ► they have fantastic looking packaging

00:21:10 ◼   ► and branding they really do make nice

00:21:13 ◼   ► gifts so Harry's is offering hello

00:21:15 ◼   ► Internet listeners a free trial set go

00:21:18 ◼   ► to harrys.com / h i right now to get

00:21:22 ◼   ► your free trial set which includes

00:21:25 ◼   ► a weighted organ Amma crazy handle 5

00:21:28 ◼   ► precision engineer blades with a

00:21:30 ◼   ► lubricating strip and a trimmer blade

00:21:32 ◼   ► rich lathering shave gel and a travel

00:21:35 ◼   ► blade cover all that is yours for free

00:21:39 ◼   ► as a trial for starting with Harry's

00:21:41 ◼   ► just go to harrys.com / h i right now

00:21:46 ◼   ► and sign up for razor blades over the

00:21:49 ◼   ► internet thank you to Harry's for taking

00:21:51 ◼   ► care of human hair problems and thank

00:21:53 ◼   ► you to Harry's for supporting this show

00:21:55 ◼   ► so Brady last time you mentioned that

00:21:59 ◼   ► you'd seen the Tim's come up with a

00:22:01 ◼   ► bunch of words to describe their actions

00:22:03 ◼   ► yep there was Tim foolery yes there was

00:22:07 ◼   ► Tim work there was Tim work that's right

00:22:10 ◼   ► a bunch of these different words going

00:22:12 ◼   ► around that the Tim's like I've seen

00:22:13 ◼   ► really run with this with many different

00:22:15 ◼   ► variations like a thousand let a

00:22:17 ◼   ► thousand Tim prefixes bloom as far as

00:22:19 ◼   ► words or concerns seems to be what the

00:22:21 ◼   ► audience is done yeah and they've really

00:22:23 ◼   ► build with that there was like an

00:22:25 ◼   ► explosion of hello internet creativity

00:22:28 ◼   ► on the subreddit recently and I just

00:22:31 ◼   ► wanted to point out that related to all

00:22:32 ◼   ► of this one of my favorite things that a

00:22:36 ◼   ► user put together Monken tarus is a

00:22:40 ◼   ► hello Internet

00:22:42 ◼   ► pirate flag that I absolutely adore

00:22:45 ◼   ► because I think it strikes an excellent

00:22:48 ◼   ► balance of being adorable and

00:22:52 ◼   ► intimidating I just thought yay what do

00:22:56 ◼   ► you think of this pirate flag that the

00:22:59 ◼   ► Tim's have made I do like it's sort of

00:23:01 ◼   ► like a slightly comic Jolly Roger but

00:23:05 ◼   ► with a few little hello Internet

00:23:06 ◼   ► flourishes like the famous gray glasses

00:23:09 ◼   ► my kind of side pattered hair and like a

00:23:13 ◼   ► robotic arm and a nail instead of the

00:23:15 ◼   ► two crossed bones it's worth a look I'm

00:23:17 ◼   ► sure gray link to it in the show notes

00:23:18 ◼   ► and I think you're right you sum it up

00:23:20 ◼   ► right it's like it's the perfect mixture

00:23:22 ◼   ► of cute yeah it has got a slight menace

00:23:25 ◼   ► to it like any Jolly Roger does I've got

00:23:27 ◼   ► to say I really like it it seems like a

00:23:29 ◼   ► great little logo for Tim mischief that

00:23:32 ◼   ► occurs it's really greatly put together

00:23:33 ◼   ► this is one of the reasons why I do love

00:23:35 ◼   ► having the hello Internet subreddit

00:23:38 ◼   ► where people just post whatever they're

00:23:39 ◼   ► working on and I really wanted to draw

00:23:41 ◼   ► attention to this one because I think

00:23:42 ◼   ► this is one of my favorite things to

00:23:44 ◼   ► come out of the show artwork in quite a

00:23:47 ◼   ► while I really like this flag it's

00:23:48 ◼   ► adorable and thank you for making it and

00:23:51 ◼   ► I hope you guys have fun with it it's

00:23:52 ◼   ► hilarious it was made in the context of

00:23:54 ◼   ► the recent voting hijinks which we might

00:23:56 ◼   ► come to later in the show and for that

00:23:58 ◼   ► reason I like it because I I think it

00:24:00 ◼   ► was sort of made in the context of when

00:24:02 ◼   ► you see this flying like when you see

00:24:03 ◼   ► this coming over the horizon you know

00:24:05 ◼   ► something is gonna happen that's not

00:24:08 ◼   ► necessarily good if you don't like

00:24:10 ◼   ► mischief so I do I do like it as a kind

00:24:14 ◼   ► of a warning sign like I can just see

00:24:16 ◼   ► it's striking fear into the heart of

00:24:18 ◼   ► Wikipedia editors everywhere yeah

00:24:20 ◼   ► there's an armada of Tim's approaching

00:24:22 ◼   ► that's what it is

00:24:22 ◼   ► [Laughter]

00:24:25 ◼   ► quick serious one because I know that

00:24:28 ◼   ► you have been giving me a hard time

00:24:30 ◼   ► about basically how I'd neglected to CGP

00:24:34 ◼   ► grey the penguin

00:24:35 ◼   ► oh yes forgot about her basically until

00:24:38 ◼   ► we found out about her demise so I was

00:24:42 ◼   ► trying to make this tragic I was trying

00:24:43 ◼   ► to make amends for this and I contacted

00:24:45 ◼   ► the zoo and I said I want to know how

00:24:48 ◼   ► she died

00:24:48 ◼   ► like I want details obviously we know

00:24:52 ◼   ► she died on this trip there this foreign

00:24:54 ◼   ► trip she was going on to go to another

00:24:55 ◼   ► zoo mm-hmm yeah we were awaiting that

00:24:57 ◼   ► penguin autopsy whirring yeah so I was

00:24:59 ◼   ► kind of I was tenacious I was you know I

00:25:02 ◼   ► was reminding them I wasn't gonna let

00:25:04 ◼   ► this one slip through the cracks I said

00:25:07 ◼   ► I insisted on you know and I said okay

00:25:08 ◼   ► we'll have someone from like the penguin

00:25:10 ◼   ► office call you when we know all the

00:25:11 ◼   ► details so I finally got the coal but

00:25:16 ◼   ► the coal came like while I was on

00:25:17 ◼   ► holiday and having a nice time and I was

00:25:19 ◼   ► just about to go down to the pool and

00:25:21 ◼   ► like my phone rings and I'm like this is

00:25:23 ◼   ► I think this was when I was in Greece

00:25:24 ◼   ► and my phone rings and I'm like duh

00:25:25 ◼   ► what's this it's a Bristol number I was

00:25:27 ◼   ► like ah you interrupting my holiday and

00:25:29 ◼   ► then it was the lady sang out so-and-so

00:25:31 ◼   ► from Bristol Zoo I'm calling with the

00:25:33 ◼   ► details of the penguin death it wasn't

00:25:36 ◼   ► the right time for it so I ended up

00:25:38 ◼   ► being one of those phone calls I was

00:25:39 ◼   ► like yep yep yep fine appreciate that

00:25:41 ◼   ► thank you and now I feel like I can't

00:25:44 ◼   ► contact them again asking for loads more

00:25:45 ◼   ► detail because they code me like the

00:25:47 ◼   ► person called me to give me all the

00:25:48 ◼   ► details so I feel like I failed again

00:25:52 ◼   ► basically I like this because it feels

00:25:53 ◼   ► like what you're basically saying is I

00:25:55 ◼   ► didn't want this penguin death for which

00:25:57 ◼   ► I am responsible to be a downer on my

00:25:59 ◼   ► vacation that's the story that you're

00:26:01 ◼   ► telling me well it sounds like you're

00:26:04 ◼   ► the one putting words in people's mouths

00:26:06 ◼   ► - I would never do such a thing that's

00:26:07 ◼   ► that's what I did glean because there

00:26:09 ◼   ► was talk that maybe

00:26:10 ◼   ► CGP grey the lady penguin had died from

00:26:13 ◼   ► maybe like some kind of disease or virus

00:26:15 ◼   ► that exacerbated when the plane travel

00:26:18 ◼   ► happened but I was told that's not the

00:26:20 ◼   ► case the penguin just died from like the

00:26:24 ◼   ► stress of the plane travel there were

00:26:26 ◼   ► lots of penguins that did it two or

00:26:28 ◼   ► three died from memory oh he's bad but

00:26:31 ◼   ► it sounds like it was just like CGP Grey

00:26:34 ◼   ► Lady ping which wasn't made of a stern

00:26:36 ◼   ► stuff as some

00:26:37 ◼   ► the other ones the zoo lady also did

00:26:39 ◼   ► tell me like you know they're taking

00:26:41 ◼   ► lessons from this and other measures are

00:26:43 ◼   ► going to be implemented to make sure

00:26:45 ◼   ► nothing like this can happen again

00:26:48 ◼   ► so CTP gray the lady penguin did not die

00:26:50 ◼   ► in vain it sounds a little bit like

00:26:51 ◼   ► you're saying that she wasn't hard as

00:26:53 ◼   ► nails like if she was made of sterner

00:26:55 ◼   ► stuff she would have survived the

00:26:56 ◼   ► journey is that what you're saying there

00:26:57 ◼   ► Brady I'm not gonna sit here on a

00:26:59 ◼   ► podcast and start bad-mouthing a dead

00:27:01 ◼   ► penguin I would never try to get you to

00:27:09 ◼   ► do that that would be ridiculous I'm not

00:27:11 ◼   ► gonna do that

00:27:11 ◼   ► penguin and I still feel a bit sad when

00:27:14 ◼   ► I think about it but I always had a

00:27:18 ◼   ► feeling that it was like a softer

00:27:20 ◼   ► penguin compared to the other ones which

00:27:21 ◼   ► it's you but maybe that's because I felt

00:27:23 ◼   ► protective of it but like if you were

00:27:25 ◼   ► gonna ship 20 penguins to another

00:27:28 ◼   ► country I felt like

00:27:30 ◼   ► CGP Grey Lady penguin might be the one

00:27:32 ◼   ► that would have struggled and it turns

00:27:34 ◼   ► out that was true well I mean this is

00:27:36 ◼   ► the thing with most animals pets in

00:27:40 ◼   ► particular we love them but they're all

00:27:43 ◼   ► just tragedies waiting to happen a

00:27:45 ◼   ► moment of silence for cgp grey the lady

00:27:47 ◼   ► penguin alright let's talk a bit about

00:27:58 ◼   ► shops been going to the shops lately so

00:28:03 ◼   ► I go to Tesco - supermarket quite a lot

00:28:04 ◼   ► these days like I go almost every day

00:28:07 ◼   ► now is like a quick shop rather than

00:28:09 ◼   ► doing like a one big shop I like just

00:28:10 ◼   ► going every day and buying two or three

00:28:11 ◼   ► things and we have talked about self

00:28:15 ◼   ► checkout before you like it and I don't

00:28:17 ◼   ► right I have now decided self checkout

00:28:21 ◼   ► at the shops I go - he's a mug's game I

00:28:25 ◼   ► see them queuing to use it looking for

00:28:29 ◼   ► the barcodes on their things and not

00:28:31 ◼   ► being able to find that they all look

00:28:33 ◼   ► miserable

00:28:33 ◼   ► it takes them ages and meanwhile where I

00:28:37 ◼   ► go there are like 20 checkouts that are

00:28:40 ◼   ► staffed usually there's no queue at all

00:28:42 ◼   ► you'll walk right up to it you don't

00:28:44 ◼   ► have to have a conversation if you're a

00:28:45 ◼   ► bit introverted you can just say hello

00:28:47 ◼   ► they scan your stuff they're so good at

00:28:49 ◼   ► it because they know

00:28:50 ◼   ► all the barcodes are because they've

00:28:51 ◼   ► seen everything before they do it for a

00:28:53 ◼   ► job they're way better at putting things

00:28:54 ◼   ► in bags than I am everything so fast and

00:28:58 ◼   ► now with like contactless payment like

00:29:00 ◼   ► the interactions even less most of the

00:29:03 ◼   ► time I think self checkout is bit of a

00:29:05 ◼   ► mug's game I keep having the feeling

00:29:08 ◼   ► that this is like a suburban versus

00:29:10 ◼   ► urban divide because you're a

00:29:13 ◼   ► description of this I find baffling and

00:29:16 ◼   ► doesn't match my experience now personal

00:29:18 ◼   ► preferences about which till to go aside

00:29:21 ◼   ► like when I think of all the

00:29:22 ◼   ► supermarket's I go to even the big

00:29:24 ◼   ► supermarkets around me that I think

00:29:26 ◼   ► might be more on the scale of what you

00:29:28 ◼   ► would find in a suburban environment

00:29:30 ◼   ► yeah they're always the case that it

00:29:32 ◼   ► looks like the lines with the actual

00:29:33 ◼   ► checkout people have long lines and

00:29:37 ◼   ► people with shopping carts filled with

00:29:39 ◼   ► three four five hundred items in them

00:29:42 ◼   ► that to me looks like boy I feel sorry

00:29:45 ◼   ► for you if you have to use the human

00:29:47 ◼   ► line because this this is the line for I

00:29:49 ◼   ► have a thousand things that need to be

00:29:51 ◼   ► checked out yeah whereas the self

00:29:52 ◼   ► checkout lines they're fast they're

00:29:55 ◼   ► faster they're smaller like they're

00:29:57 ◼   ► there's a bazillion machines in the same

00:29:59 ◼   ► amount of space that you could put like

00:30:01 ◼   ► a few checkout people so I feel like I

00:30:03 ◼   ► almost want to go with you on one of

00:30:05 ◼   ► your holiday excursions to pick up two

00:30:07 ◼   ► items at the supermarket okay and see

00:30:10 ◼   ► like what's the situation that Brady's

00:30:11 ◼   ► working with you see how the other half

00:30:12 ◼   ► lives

00:30:13 ◼   ► will arrange that I know that we must be

00:30:15 ◼   ► having different experiences how does

00:30:17 ◼   ► this country mouse go shopping that's

00:30:19 ◼   ► what I'm trying to find out here it

00:30:21 ◼   ► doesn't make any sense to me your

00:30:22 ◼   ► description of what's occurring but I

00:30:23 ◼   ► have to say while I am traditionally the

00:30:25 ◼   ► advocate of the old-fashioned way of

00:30:27 ◼   ► doing things and you are more the modern

00:30:29 ◼   ► man my goodness

00:30:31 ◼   ► contactless payment with cards what a

00:30:34 ◼   ► life-changing thing that is how quickly

00:30:36 ◼   ► I've become used to her how much I

00:30:39 ◼   ► resent having to even put my pin number

00:30:41 ◼   ► in when I'm buying things it is such a

00:30:43 ◼   ► wonderful innovation it's a much bigger

00:30:46 ◼   ► step up from going from money to pin

00:30:48 ◼   ► cards which is I don't think much of as

00:30:50 ◼   ► a step but there's a step up from

00:30:53 ◼   ► putting your PIN into contactless is

00:30:55 ◼   ► fabulous and places that don't take

00:30:57 ◼   ► contactless I think a barbaric and they

00:31:01 ◼   ► have to lift the limits on these things

00:31:02 ◼   ► like you know if

00:31:04 ◼   ► I spend 40 or 50 pounds on something

00:31:06 ◼   ► that's like I know you can't use

00:31:07 ◼   ► contactless I'm like what what are you

00:31:09 ◼   ► doing

00:31:10 ◼   ► since sane I need to use my contactless

00:31:12 ◼   ► I don't want to touch things I don't

00:31:14 ◼   ► want to press buttons I just want to do

00:31:17 ◼   ► the thing I think it's fabulous

00:31:19 ◼   ► literally just before this show was

00:31:21 ◼   ► starting I was running an errand to pick

00:31:22 ◼   ► up a few things from the local

00:31:24 ◼   ► supermarket for the house and the total

00:31:27 ◼   ► bill went over 30 pounds which at this

00:31:30 ◼   ► store is the limit for using contact

00:31:32 ◼   ► lists yeah and it was something like 33

00:31:36 ◼   ► pounds or like just barely over and I

00:31:39 ◼   ► caught myself

00:31:40 ◼   ► unfortunately there's no self checkout

00:31:42 ◼   ► at this thing I have to actually use a

00:31:44 ◼   ► person but I caught myself looking at

00:31:46 ◼   ► the guy and almost saying just wring it

00:31:49 ◼   ► as two separate things so I can tap

00:31:52 ◼   ► twice like because it's also about like

00:31:55 ◼   ► I don't want to touch your buttons that

00:31:58 ◼   ► have been touched by a thousand people

00:32:00 ◼   ► and the contact list is so pleasing like

00:32:03 ◼   ► you just Boop Bucky it just goes like I

00:32:05 ◼   ► use it on my phone or my watch all the

00:32:06 ◼   ► time it's the greatest thing in the

00:32:08 ◼   ► whole world I'm with you 100%

00:32:10 ◼   ► I absolutely love the contactless but

00:32:12 ◼   ► this is a case where I feel like I have

00:32:14 ◼   ► become so spoiled by it as well and I

00:32:18 ◼   ► did not realize until I had spent all of

00:32:22 ◼   ► this time in America this past summer

00:32:23 ◼   ► because in my world in all of the places

00:32:27 ◼   ► that I go I'm essentially 99.9% of the

00:32:30 ◼   ► time using contactless payment because

00:32:33 ◼   ► everything is under 30 or 40 pounds and

00:32:35 ◼   ► every single store that I go to takes it

00:32:38 ◼   ► and I can just use my watch or my phone

00:32:41 ◼   ► everywhere like I'm so ridiculously

00:32:43 ◼   ► spoiled and then going to America it

00:32:46 ◼   ► feels like stepping back in time a

00:32:48 ◼   ► hundred years when they ask you for your

00:32:50 ◼   ► signature on the card to do payments it

00:32:52 ◼   ► feels like why don't you bring out that

00:32:54 ◼   ► machine from my childhood where you like

00:32:56 ◼   ► put the credit card in the thing and

00:32:58 ◼   ► then you go over it and then I get like

00:33:02 ◼   ► a piece of yellow paper and you take two

00:33:04 ◼   ► pieces I don't even know what the hell

00:33:05 ◼   ► that machine is like what is this thing

00:33:07 ◼   ► even doing I don't understand how any

00:33:10 ◼   ► payment is getting processed by this

00:33:12 ◼   ► analogue thing yeah I never understood

00:33:14 ◼   ► that and you need that there rosetta

00:33:16 ◼   ► stone to read what's on the

00:33:18 ◼   ► bit of paper because it's so hard to

00:33:19 ◼   ► decipher I mean I guess thinking it

00:33:21 ◼   ► through that machine must be a

00:33:23 ◼   ► mechanical version of an IOU like is

00:33:26 ◼   ► that what those things were obviously

00:33:27 ◼   ► being sent off to like some head office

00:33:29 ◼   ► somewhere

00:33:29 ◼   ► how could anyone read those curb and

00:33:31 ◼   ► helping paper things they were awful

00:33:33 ◼   ► it's ridiculous but that but that's what

00:33:34 ◼   ► it felt like in America where I'm using

00:33:36 ◼   ► my card and they're like oh you have to

00:33:38 ◼   ► sign for this thing and I'm like

00:33:39 ◼   ► surprised and angry every single time

00:33:42 ◼   ► that I have I have to sign and the

00:33:44 ◼   ► signing is is also like it's just such a

00:33:46 ◼   ► ridiculous farce like you're not

00:33:48 ◼   ► checking my signature yeah right I had a

00:33:50 ◼   ► credit card that like four years went

00:33:53 ◼   ► unsigned before anybody ever commented

00:33:56 ◼   ► on it right like some picky rules

00:33:58 ◼   ► following person's like well you have to

00:34:00 ◼   ► sign the card but no the stuff just

00:34:01 ◼   ► feels it feels so arcane and so

00:34:02 ◼   ► ridiculous and I felt so happy coming

00:34:06 ◼   ► back to London and like we had

00:34:09 ◼   ► contactless payments everywhere

00:34:10 ◼   ► beep-beep-beep like it just works and

00:34:13 ◼   ► there's a thing in America that I don't

00:34:15 ◼   ► I had heard people describe but I sort

00:34:19 ◼   ► of didn't believe it because obviously I

00:34:21 ◼   ► know Americans I listen to podcasts that

00:34:24 ◼   ► have Americans on them and people

00:34:25 ◼   ► complain about these credit card

00:34:28 ◼   ► machines that are being rolled out in

00:34:29 ◼   ► America and I heard people complain

00:34:32 ◼   ► about them and I just like what is the

00:34:33 ◼   ► problem with this but there are these

00:34:35 ◼   ► like weird clunky gigantic credit card

00:34:39 ◼   ► machines that I guess are supposed to be

00:34:41 ◼   ► the American version of the little

00:34:43 ◼   ► wireless terminals that everybody in

00:34:45 ◼   ► Europe uses except there they're like

00:34:48 ◼   ► twice as big and huge and confusing and

00:34:51 ◼   ► what is baffling to me is that when you

00:34:54 ◼   ► make a successful payment they make a

00:34:56 ◼   ► noise like and they have like an angry

00:34:59 ◼   ► beeping noise which is confirmation that

00:35:03 ◼   ► everything went okay right it's like

00:35:05 ◼   ► everything's great alarm like it

00:35:06 ◼   ► confused me every single time I used it

00:35:08 ◼   ► and I was in a bunch of different places

00:35:10 ◼   ► in America and I came across them

00:35:12 ◼   ► and a whole bunch of different states I

00:35:14 ◼   ► was like oh ma why are you so behind the

00:35:17 ◼   ► times with payments like why are you so

00:35:19 ◼   ► bad at this there's a solution for

00:35:22 ◼   ► contactless new payments these little

00:35:25 ◼   ► machines that we use over here like why

00:35:26 ◼   ► don't we use these in America I don't

00:35:27 ◼   ► understand I don't understand it all it

00:35:29 ◼   ► was infuriating

00:35:31 ◼   ► okay people here we go I'm gonna ask you

00:35:33 ◼   ► some questions and just answer yes or no

00:35:35 ◼   ► in your head no out loud because you

00:35:38 ◼   ► might get some funny looks

00:35:39 ◼   ► do you ever travel in planes trains or

00:35:42 ◼   ► automobiles do you ever walk places do

00:35:46 ◼   ► you ever just lay in bed at night do you

00:35:49 ◼   ► listen to podcasts now if you answered

00:35:52 ◼   ► yes to any one of those questions that I

00:35:55 ◼   ► think you might like audiobooks and if

00:35:57 ◼   ► you're like audiobooks today's sponsor

00:36:00 ◼   ► audible.com is where it's at now audible

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00:36:38 ◼   ► recommend one I think I shall today it's

00:36:40 ◼   ► going to be Conclave by Robert Harris

00:36:43 ◼   ► this is a fictional account of the vote

00:36:46 ◼   ► for a new pope and for anyone fascinated

00:36:48 ◼   ► by what happens in the Sistine Chapel

00:36:50 ◼   ► when the Vatican when a new Pope's being

00:36:52 ◼   ► elected this is a great book for you

00:36:54 ◼   ► plenty of politics intrigue mystery but

00:36:57 ◼   ► also a really easy listen it really rips

00:37:00 ◼   ► along I got through this one pretty

00:37:01 ◼   ► quickly desperate to know what had

00:37:03 ◼   ► happened next so that's my

00:37:04 ◼   ► recommendation Conclave but there are

00:37:07 ◼   ► countless others you may prefer as your

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00:37:12 ◼   ► know that Tim's on reddit even keep a

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00:37:15 ◼   ► the show both from gray and myself so

00:37:17 ◼   ► maybe check that out that address for

00:37:19 ◼   ► the free book audible.com slash hallo

00:37:24 ◼   ► internet and hallo internet is all one

00:37:26 ◼   ► word they'll also be a link in the show

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00:37:30 ◼   ► Internet as sponsors but we're also just

00:37:32 ◼   ► everyday customers and we really like

00:37:34 ◼   ► them you know that bench

00:37:36 ◼   ► I sit on sometimes where I have lunch

00:37:38 ◼   ► where I was sitting a few months ago

00:37:39 ◼   ► when I saw like someone crash into

00:37:42 ◼   ► another car and try to sneak away and I

00:37:44 ◼   ► like

00:37:44 ◼   ► we've had this quandary about what do i

00:37:46 ◼   ► do do i dub them in do i leave a note

00:37:48 ◼   ► that sort of stuff you're wondering how

00:37:50 ◼   ► much of a Samaritan do you have to be

00:37:52 ◼   ► mmm is there a Good Samaritan law that

00:37:54 ◼   ► you need to worry about in this area

00:37:56 ◼   ► what is the right thing I was sitting on

00:37:58 ◼   ► that same bench yesterday just minding

00:38:01 ◼   ► my own business swinging your feet back

00:38:03 ◼   ► and forth eating a sandwich that's how I

00:38:05 ◼   ► imagined it in fact that is what I was

00:38:07 ◼   ► doing

00:38:08 ◼   ► and something caught my eye on the

00:38:12 ◼   ► ground a little flash of red and silver

00:38:14 ◼   ► glint ooh and it was a dropped these

00:38:18 ◼   ► occurred like a Visa debit card with

00:38:20 ◼   ► contactless payment and everything like

00:38:22 ◼   ► that and I had the person's name on it

00:38:23 ◼   ► it was brand-new in pristine condition

00:38:25 ◼   ► like it looked brand-new and the expiry

00:38:28 ◼   ► date was like matched the month we're in

00:38:30 ◼   ► so it made me think maybe it was a brand

00:38:32 ◼   ► new card so I picked it up and I sort of

00:38:35 ◼   ► looked around and there was no one

00:38:37 ◼   ► around so I went bought another sandwich

00:38:40 ◼   ► with that najin I looked around there

00:38:42 ◼   ► was no one around and I was like what do

00:38:44 ◼   ► I do like what are my responsibilities

00:38:46 ◼   ► here what is the right thing to do with

00:38:49 ◼   ► this card what would you have done

00:38:51 ◼   ► hmm it's one of those things that you're

00:38:54 ◼   ► not entirely educated about best

00:38:57 ◼   ► practices I'm just pausing here because

00:38:59 ◼   ► I feel like there is there's some

00:39:03 ◼   ► version of an old school teacher in my

00:39:06 ◼   ► head who is like well if you find a

00:39:08 ◼   ► thing you should take it to a police

00:39:09 ◼   ► station yeah I guess here's here's a

00:39:11 ◼   ► complication which you didn't find is

00:39:14 ◼   ► somebody's wallet no right just the card

00:39:17 ◼   ► yeah if you find somebody's wallet it

00:39:19 ◼   ► feels like okay I guess I'll take this

00:39:22 ◼   ► to the authorities yeah and the police

00:39:25 ◼   ► have a Lost & Found box in the station

00:39:28 ◼   ► yeah or they get the new guy to try to

00:39:32 ◼   ► track down the owner of a wallet in

00:39:34 ◼   ► between solving homicides like I don't

00:39:37 ◼   ► know what's gonna I mean to be honest if

00:39:38 ◼   ► I found someone's wallet I feel like I

00:39:40 ◼   ► would have enough information to

00:39:41 ◼   ► probably find that person in 10-15

00:39:44 ◼   ► minutes and get it back to them you know

00:39:46 ◼   ► I could google them or if the address

00:39:48 ◼   ► was nearby I could just walk to their

00:39:50 ◼   ► house like that seems easier in many

00:39:53 ◼   ► ways but yes if not I thought they would

00:39:54 ◼   ► take him to a police station but all I

00:39:56 ◼   ► had was a

00:39:57 ◼   ► name my you know mr. Jones and a card if

00:40:01 ◼   ► you have address information in the

00:40:03 ◼   ► wallet and that also makes it much

00:40:04 ◼   ► easier right that's that's a much

00:40:05 ◼   ► clearer thing to do

00:40:06 ◼   ► I don't think there's anything in my

00:40:07 ◼   ► wallet that actually I list my address

00:40:09 ◼   ► on it like if my wallet was lost someone

00:40:11 ◼   ► we need to take it to a police station

00:40:12 ◼   ► yeah you'd have a driver's license or

00:40:13 ◼   ► anything yeah I don't have a driver's

00:40:14 ◼   ► license so there's nothing in there with

00:40:16 ◼   ► with my address on it as far as I know

00:40:17 ◼   ► yeah but an individual card what we have

00:40:22 ◼   ► here is something that's on the spectrum

00:40:23 ◼   ► from how much burden do you feel versus

00:40:27 ◼   ► personal inconvenience yeah right and a

00:40:30 ◼   ► wallet feels like it's very far along

00:40:31 ◼   ► that spectrum of it's horrific ly

00:40:35 ◼   ► inconvenient for another person to lose

00:40:36 ◼   ► the wallet so you feel like oh I'm doing

00:40:38 ◼   ► a great thing by bringing the person the

00:40:40 ◼   ► wall I'm saving them an enormous amount

00:40:42 ◼   ► of here like if I happen to me I'd be

00:40:43 ◼   ► begging for someone to find that rather

00:40:45 ◼   ► than may have to deal with all of that

00:40:46 ◼   ► bureaucracy right but a single car yeah

00:40:50 ◼   ► a single card feels like it's sitting on

00:40:53 ◼   ► that knife's edge of is the personal

00:40:56 ◼   ► hassle to me worth this thing yeah or

00:40:58 ◼   ► like will the police officer laugh me

00:41:00 ◼   ► out of the station if I bring them a

00:41:02 ◼   ► single crap like I think they would I

00:41:04 ◼   ► think if I go in there officer McNulty

00:41:07 ◼   ► is gonna be like get the hell out of

00:41:08 ◼   ► here with this yeah with this credit

00:41:09 ◼   ► cards like why are you wasting my time I

00:41:11 ◼   ► just take it out of your hand and cut it

00:41:13 ◼   ► in half with a pair of scissors and say

00:41:14 ◼   ► thanks for coming that is exactly what I

00:41:15 ◼   ► expect would happen talking this through

00:41:17 ◼   ► I think that is what I would think is my

00:41:19 ◼   ► level of responsibility I would cut it

00:41:21 ◼   ► in half and leave it at that no further

00:41:24 ◼   ► Good Samaritan action to be required

00:41:26 ◼   ► than that okay the question is break

00:41:30 ◼   ► what did I do

00:41:30 ◼   ► what did you do I'm a bit reluctant to

00:41:32 ◼   ► say in case I broke some law or someone

00:41:34 ◼   ► says I shouldn't have done it well I

00:41:36 ◼   ► mean we cannot we can just say that this

00:41:37 ◼   ► is of course a fanciful story

00:41:39 ◼   ► it was just being told on a podcast yes

00:41:41 ◼   ► so there were one or two people in my

00:41:44 ◼   ► vicinity so I did say to them did you

00:41:46 ◼   ► just drop a card and if they'd said yes

00:41:48 ◼   ► I would have then said what's your name

00:41:49 ◼   ► and if they got the name right I would

00:41:51 ◼   ► have handed to the car what are the last

00:41:53 ◼   ► four did yeah but no one no one had I

00:41:56 ◼   ► walked into like the sandwich shop where

00:41:58 ◼   ► I had gotten my sandwich and I said has

00:42:00 ◼   ► anyone come in here saying they'd lost a

00:42:03 ◼   ► cut I don't know what I would have done

00:42:05 ◼   ► if they said yes cuz I guess I would

00:42:08 ◼   ► have said - have you got their details I

00:42:09 ◼   ► wouldn't have given it to st. people at

00:42:10 ◼   ► the shop

00:42:11 ◼   ► but they said no and the girl behind the

00:42:13 ◼   ► checkout said you should probably just

00:42:14 ◼   ► cut it in half because they probably

00:42:15 ◼   ► already canceled it there were two

00:42:18 ◼   ► restaurants right near where it had

00:42:20 ◼   ► dropped like a Italian restaurant and a

00:42:22 ◼   ► Chinese restaurant and I did think about

00:42:23 ◼   ► going in and asking if I should make

00:42:26 ◼   ► some kind of public announcement because

00:42:28 ◼   ► there's you know 50 or 60 people so it

00:42:30 ◼   ► was a good chance that the person who

00:42:31 ◼   ► dropped up was in the restaurant and

00:42:33 ◼   ► needed it to like pay for their meal or

00:42:35 ◼   ► something but I did feel like that was a

00:42:37 ◼   ► high level of disruption for maybe not

00:42:42 ◼   ► even success so I decided not to do that

00:42:44 ◼   ► what I did was I then went back to the

00:42:46 ◼   ► bench near where I found her

00:42:48 ◼   ► and I sat there for another 15 20

00:42:49 ◼   ► minutes just finishing my food and

00:42:51 ◼   ► faffing around on my phone to see if I

00:42:54 ◼   ► could see anyone walking around looking

00:42:55 ◼   ► for a card and no one no one emerged who

00:42:58 ◼   ► fit that description so then I went home

00:43:00 ◼   ► and I cut it into lots of small pieces

00:43:02 ◼   ► with scissors and threw it in the bin

00:43:04 ◼   ► you didn't shred it Brede you have a

00:43:05 ◼   ► shredder that can handle a credit card

00:43:07 ◼   ► know that a shredder I famously bought

00:43:10 ◼   ► right at the start of hello Internet

00:43:12 ◼   ► hasn't worked for about two years and I

00:43:13 ◼   ► haven't replaced it or fixed it it just

00:43:15 ◼   ► sits under my desk dormant that's very

00:43:17 ◼   ► sad a number of levels annoys me but I

00:43:19 ◼   ► yeah anyway let's not go there anyway

00:43:23 ◼   ► I'm much more interested in the shredder

00:43:24 ◼   ► underneath your desk taking up your

00:43:26 ◼   ► precious foot space that you haven't

00:43:28 ◼   ► fixed after two years it is still there

00:43:32 ◼   ► I do need to throw it away because I did

00:43:35 ◼   ► like it when I was running I just got

00:43:36 ◼   ► greedy and tried to put too many pieces

00:43:38 ◼   ► of paper in it one day

00:43:39 ◼   ► it jammed and like no matter what I

00:43:42 ◼   ► tried to do I couldn't fix it no of

00:43:44 ◼   ► course that's the call of the paper

00:43:45 ◼   ► shredder yeah I want to push it to its

00:43:47 ◼   ► breaking limit right you're never

00:43:48 ◼   ► satisfied until you get too many pieces

00:43:51 ◼   ► of paper five six six is for weaklings

00:43:56 ◼   ► what about seven seven yeah that's for

00:43:58 ◼   ► co-hosts why not oh yeah that's what

00:44:03 ◼   ► existence is for shredders it's like

00:44:06 ◼   ► some kind of hellish torment where no

00:44:08 ◼   ► matter how much they can eat like you're

00:44:09 ◼   ► constantly upping the spectrum of like

00:44:10 ◼   ► oh but you're gonna eat more until it

00:44:12 ◼   ► breaks I'm sorry that you broke your

00:44:14 ◼   ► shredder Brady I'm sorry that you had to

00:44:16 ◼   ► manually cut up this credit card by hand

00:44:19 ◼   ► it's quite pleasant cutting credit cards

00:44:20 ◼   ► with scissors because it's like a

00:44:21 ◼   ► naughty thing like it's quite fun I like

00:44:24 ◼   ► it I'm glad you got a naughty thrill out

00:44:27 ◼   ► of cutting up that credit card into

00:44:28 ◼   ► multiple pieces it must've been very

00:44:30 ◼   ► exciting for you it's quite a

00:44:31 ◼   ► pleasurable amount of resistance on the

00:44:34 ◼   ► scissors when you cut credit card to

00:44:35 ◼   ► like you don't normally get that level

00:44:37 ◼   ► of resistance on a cut it's nice

00:44:40 ◼   ► cutting a credit card is a nice with

00:44:41 ◼   ► scissors is a pleasant feeling no people

00:44:43 ◼   ► drop your credit cards around Brady so

00:44:47 ◼   ► he can get the naughty satisfaction of

00:44:49 ◼   ► cutting up other people's credit cards I

00:44:50 ◼   ► will have cut it in half before it even

00:44:51 ◼   ► hits the ground you'd be like wait wait

00:44:52 ◼   ► that's mine

00:44:53 ◼   ► I was bang you past the event horizon

00:44:55 ◼   ► you're gonna be carrying scissors to

00:44:57 ◼   ► that Park just just hoping just waiting

00:44:59 ◼   ► who knows what moral conundrum will

00:45:02 ◼   ► strike next on Brady's bench and you

00:45:05 ◼   ► know how you get those park benches

00:45:06 ◼   ► where it says you know Gladys and Ron

00:45:08 ◼   ► used to sit here and watch the Sun set

00:45:10 ◼   ► for 50 years maybe one day they'll put

00:45:12 ◼   ► like a little metal plaque on the back

00:45:13 ◼   ► of the bench saying this is where Brady

00:45:15 ◼   ► saw two cars hit and where he found a

00:45:18 ◼   ► credit card and like it could become

00:45:20 ◼   ► famous I don't know if this is a

00:45:21 ◼   ► national thing or if it's if it's just

00:45:23 ◼   ► in London but do you have those blue

00:45:24 ◼   ► badges that are the historical markers

00:45:27 ◼   ► it's more of a London thing but other

00:45:29 ◼   ► cities and parts of the UK do keep

00:45:31 ◼   ► trying to co-opt it so you do see blue

00:45:33 ◼   ► plaques around the place yeah there's

00:45:35 ◼   ► historic markers yeah that is a thing

00:45:36 ◼   ► that exists then where in your town

00:45:39 ◼   ► you're walking around there's a blue

00:45:40 ◼   ► plaque and it says Bobby Thorpe inton

00:45:44 ◼   ► the third yep writer of something you've

00:45:47 ◼   ► never heard of was born here yeah but

00:45:50 ◼   ► they're not usually as official outside

00:45:51 ◼   ► this is a how we could do a whole

00:45:53 ◼   ► podcast about blue plaques but yeah

00:45:54 ◼   ► there are a couple Whitney where I live

00:45:56 ◼   ► but they're not like officially

00:45:58 ◼   ► sanctioned ones well I guess where I was

00:46:00 ◼   ► going with this is these blue historical

00:46:03 ◼   ► plaques that I see all over the place in

00:46:06 ◼   ► London you can hardly move in London for

00:46:08 ◼   ► blue plaques

00:46:08 ◼   ► it's like wading through treacle I do

00:46:10 ◼   ► feel like hey guys maybe we should tone

00:46:12 ◼   ► it down a little bit especially there's

00:46:14 ◼   ► a couple that I love that aren't even

00:46:16 ◼   ► like oh this famous person was born here

00:46:19 ◼   ► there's a few that kind of make me laugh

00:46:20 ◼   ► every time because it's like oh this

00:46:22 ◼   ► person you never heard of lived in a

00:46:26 ◼   ► house on this site yeah from 1832 to

00:46:31 ◼   ► 1835 yeah what is this plaque it's like

00:46:35 ◼   ► a Jane Austen stayed in a room in the

00:46:38 ◼   ► house for three hours while she was

00:46:39 ◼   ► smoking the second draft of Pride and

00:46:41 ◼   ► Prejudice yeah that's what it feels like

00:46:43 ◼   ► like the bar is just too low for some of

00:46:46 ◼   ► these things like there's too many of

00:46:47 ◼   ► them all over the place and I feel like

00:46:49 ◼   ► the number of times I have any idea who

00:46:51 ◼   ► the person they're referring to is is

00:46:53 ◼   ► very small compared to the number of

00:46:54 ◼   ► total plaques but I was just wondering

00:46:56 ◼   ► cuz we touched on the idea of Fame last

00:46:59 ◼   ► time now that you're talking about this

00:47:01 ◼   ► bench then you clearly want to be made a

00:47:05 ◼   ► historical object you think Brady that

00:47:10 ◼   ► after you're dead this is seriously yeah

00:47:14 ◼   ► you are

00:47:15 ◼   ► famous enough to get a blue plaque on

00:47:18 ◼   ► that bench that says this is Brady's

00:47:21 ◼   ► bench

00:47:21 ◼   ► Brady sat here eating lunch and thinking

00:47:24 ◼   ► about moral conundrum sometimes great I

00:47:27 ◼   ► can say without a shadow of a doubt that

00:47:29 ◼   ► I'm not famous enough to get a blue

00:47:31 ◼   ► plaque anywhere anything any time to do

00:47:34 ◼   ► with anything I've ever done I totally

00:47:36 ◼   ► disagree with that I think you should

00:47:38 ◼   ► have a blue plaque you're way more

00:47:40 ◼   ► famous than most of the blue plaques I

00:47:42 ◼   ► see where it's like oh some nobody 200

00:47:45 ◼   ► years ago no one's ever heard of gets a

00:47:47 ◼   ► blue plaque gray I can promise you in

00:47:49 ◼   ► two hundred years I'll be an even bigger

00:47:50 ◼   ► nobody I don't know man people might be

00:47:53 ◼   ► listening to the show in two hundred

00:47:54 ◼   ► years

00:47:54 ◼   ► well let's say let's say it's not over

00:47:57 ◼   ► yet I could still make that late move

00:48:00 ◼   ► into Test cricket and become the oldest

00:48:03 ◼   ► player ever to score 100 for Australia

00:48:04 ◼   ► yeah that's the thing that's gonna make

00:48:05 ◼   ► you the famous person yeah that's what's

00:48:07 ◼   ► gonna be it that's what I want to make

00:48:09 ◼   ► me a famous person no I understand that

00:48:11 ◼   ► Brady I understand that very clearly

00:48:13 ◼   ► yeah apparently you don't want to be

00:48:15 ◼   ► known as the mirror co-host a popular

00:48:18 ◼   ► podcast you want to be a man who strikes

00:48:22 ◼   ► out and does his own thing that's what

00:48:24 ◼   ► you want to be remembered for not a

00:48:26 ◼   ► co-host gray I want us to introduce the

00:48:29 ◼   ► term vice host from my position no I am

00:48:31 ◼   ► vetoing this is ridiculous title it

00:48:34 ◼   ► makes no sense for podcast co-hosts this

00:48:37 ◼   ► is gray the host of hello Internet and

00:48:38 ◼   ► I'm his vice host it's ridiculous and I

00:48:44 ◼   ► think it's self demeaning Brady I don't

00:48:46 ◼   ► agree with this I'd be quite happy to be

00:48:48 ◼   ► a vice host I think that's a really cool

00:48:50 ◼   ► name

00:48:51 ◼   ► like if it would be really a good

00:48:53 ◼   ► talking point like how many podcasts do

00:48:55 ◼   ► you know that have a vice host we might

00:48:57 ◼   ► be the first and that would make us

00:49:00 ◼   ► special it's like have you heard that

00:49:01 ◼   ► podcast they've got a host and a vice

00:49:03 ◼   ► host all right I'm gonna listen to that

00:49:05 ◼   ► just to check that out and then they'll

00:49:06 ◼   ► listen to me oh I thought this would be

00:49:08 ◼   ► boring but actually it turns out they

00:49:09 ◼   ► talk about blue Plex

00:49:10 ◼   ► penguin deaths it's really cool yeah

00:49:14 ◼   ► contactless payment cards that have

00:49:16 ◼   ► existed for two years it's brilliant

00:49:20 ◼   ► yeah I thought they were just a couple

00:49:22 ◼   ► of clowns but cutting-edge okay

00:49:24 ◼   ► so that'll be your blue plaque then

00:49:27 ◼   ► world's oldest cricketer and vice host

00:49:31 ◼   ► of hello internet podcasts and I sat on

00:49:33 ◼   ► this bench I've take that not whales I

00:49:36 ◼   ► was cricket at world's oldest cricketer

00:49:37 ◼   ► to score a hundred I have to score a

00:49:38 ◼   ► test century just being old is not good

00:49:41 ◼   ► enough I hope to score a ton it probably

00:49:44 ◼   ► is too late for me

00:49:45 ◼   ► sports-wise but you can always be the

00:49:47 ◼   ► world's first vice vice I host of a

00:49:49 ◼   ► podcast I don't like it I still don't

00:49:51 ◼   ► like you crazy that's out of the photo

00:49:54 ◼   ► now my friend I feel like I know you

00:49:55 ◼   ► will enough but sometimes get an idea in

00:49:58 ◼   ► your Brady head and there's just no

00:50:00 ◼   ► dislodging it this moment I'm ordering

00:50:02 ◼   ► the embroidered t-shirt across my back

00:50:07 ◼   ► in big red letters of Isis until the

00:50:13 ◼   ► buzz started I didn't realize how many B

00:50:16 ◼   ► stories were in the media every week

00:50:18 ◼   ► it's massive it is I feel the same way

00:50:21 ◼   ► like I was on Twitter earlier and I saw

00:50:23 ◼   ► someone had made a little logo for the

00:50:26 ◼   ► buzz with CGP grey like a like a cute

00:50:29 ◼   ► little turning a microphone into B wings

00:50:30 ◼   ► a little bit of a logo and I was making

00:50:33 ◼   ► a joke about how like everybody seems

00:50:36 ◼   ► really interested in all the B news but

00:50:38 ◼   ► like there really isn't like haha the

00:50:40 ◼   ► joke is over there really isn't enough B

00:50:42 ◼   ► news all of the time to have any kind of

00:50:45 ◼   ► regular segment that's the buzz and then

00:50:47 ◼   ► immediately people are like oh did you

00:50:50 ◼   ► know this week there was a million

00:50:51 ◼   ► dollars worth of bees stolen it a bee

00:50:53 ◼   ► heist like what all right and then it's

00:50:58 ◼   ► like oh not only was this a bee heist

00:51:00 ◼   ► but it's be heists our thing at least

00:51:03 ◼   ► stolen bees the

00:51:05 ◼   ► this is like a whole underground yeah

00:51:07 ◼   ► industry there are bay rustlers yeah I

00:51:09 ◼   ► know I think I can't believe like this

00:51:13 ◼   ► is really a thing that people go around

00:51:16 ◼   ► stealing bees so someone sent me this

00:51:19 ◼   ► article about like Fresno police

00:51:20 ◼   ► officers find 1 million dollars worth of

00:51:22 ◼   ► stolen bees in the great be heist it's

00:51:26 ◼   ► just it's it's crazy like the guy who

00:51:28 ◼   ► stole all these bees is facing 10 years

00:51:30 ◼   ► in prison if he's convicted yours

00:51:33 ◼   ► weren't even better one you've got the

00:51:34 ◼   ► American Bay hush there was a British

00:51:35 ◼   ► Bay heist as well just recently there

00:51:37 ◼   ► are multiple be heists going on I mean

00:51:40 ◼   ► of course America's be heists are bigger

00:51:42 ◼   ► and better than it be heist in England

00:51:44 ◼   ► yeah they're more small-scale here yeah

00:51:46 ◼   ► go big or go home with American be

00:51:49 ◼   ► heists yeah I guess is the way that

00:51:51 ◼   ► works today in The Times there was a

00:51:53 ◼   ► story about a new nature paper that's

00:51:55 ◼   ► just been published about some pesticide

00:51:57 ◼   ► that we all use that's devastating

00:51:59 ◼   ► bumblebees they found that bumble bee

00:52:02 ◼   ► Queens that are exposed to this New Yawk

00:52:04 ◼   ► denied thing a 26 percent less likely to

00:52:08 ◼   ► lay eggs and start a colony like how

00:52:10 ◼   ► detailed is that research they're like

00:52:12 ◼   ► exposing queen bees to this chemical and

00:52:15 ◼   ► then like that's detailed research they

00:52:17 ◼   ► go on hardcore they are going hardcore

00:52:19 ◼   ► and it was in The Times you know baby

00:52:21 ◼   ► news is big it's obviously like demand

00:52:23 ◼   ► for the sub editors of the newspaper

00:52:25 ◼   ► obviously thinking what are we going to

00:52:26 ◼   ► put in are we gonna put in this yet

00:52:28 ◼   ► another story about YouTube terrorism or

00:52:33 ◼   ► should we just have a break from that

00:52:34 ◼   ► and like put in this story about bees

00:52:36 ◼   ► and I put the base Torian this kind of

00:52:38 ◼   ► stuff is increasing like reading through

00:52:40 ◼   ► the bee heist news my favorite quote so

00:52:43 ◼   ► far is from Steve Godwin from the

00:52:46 ◼   ► California State Beekeepers Association

00:52:48 ◼   ► he says quote there used to be a code of

00:52:52 ◼   ► honor that you didn't mess with another

00:52:54 ◼   ► man's bees but the perpetrators of this

00:52:58 ◼   ► giant hive heist broke that code some

00:53:03 ◼   ► things are just wrong it's like the Wild

00:53:06 ◼   ► West out there with bees what's the

00:53:07 ◼   ► security measures one can put in place

00:53:09 ◼   ► to prevent ones Bay's being taken I mean

00:53:11 ◼   ► foolishly I would have assumed that the

00:53:13 ◼   ► bees themselves would be the security

00:53:14 ◼   ► measure you know I guess is like cattle

00:53:17 ◼   ► rustling

00:53:18 ◼   ► the bees are happy to go along with

00:53:19 ◼   ► somebody who's you know giving them some

00:53:22 ◼   ► smoke and then here they would get all

00:53:24 ◼   ► sleepy and you can just take them I

00:53:25 ◼   ► don't have any idea but I quote this guy

00:53:27 ◼   ► apparently the police got him in an

00:53:28 ◼   ► elaborate sting Jihad Brady that was

00:53:32 ◼   ► absolutely awful

00:53:32 ◼   ► I'm here awake hello hello internet

00:53:36 ◼   ► listeners are you two fascinated with

00:53:39 ◼   ► bee news do you want to create some kind

00:53:41 ◼   ► of hub to be the center of all bee news

00:53:44 ◼   ► in the future well then you know what

00:53:47 ◼   ► you want to do you want to make a

00:53:49 ◼   ► website with Squarespace Squarespace is

00:53:52 ◼   ► the only place you should go for all of

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00:53:58 ◼   ► or any website creation related needs

00:54:01 ◼   ► really because they are the simplest

00:54:03 ◼   ► fastest best way to make a website

00:54:06 ◼   ► they're what I use to make my websites

00:54:09 ◼   ► and what you should too Squarespace

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00:54:20 ◼   ► replaces it with a rock-solid stable and

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00:54:28 ◼   ► you're creating your bee website you'll

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00:54:33 ◼   ► templates that they have set up for you

00:54:35 ◼   ► to start and they've just added 16 brand

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00:54:54 ◼   ► you possibly want to and one of the

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00:55:01 ◼   ► articles on their phone or on their

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00:55:25 ◼   ► commerce platform it really is an

00:55:28 ◼   ► absolute no-brainer

00:55:30 ◼   ► so whatever website

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00:55:40 ◼   ► to get 10% off your first order and show

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00:55:46 ◼   ► Squarespace calm /hello

00:55:49 ◼   ► I caught up with gray and mrs. gray a

00:55:54 ◼   ► week ago or so was it yeah I saw you in

00:55:56 ◼   ► person

00:55:57 ◼   ► we had a lovely day together and the day

00:55:59 ◼   ► got off to a brilliant start because the

00:56:03 ◼   ► moment your wife walked in the room she

00:56:05 ◼   ► was carrying this incredibly huge

00:56:07 ◼   ► wrapped present for me wrapped in gold

00:56:10 ◼   ► paper with a big red bow mm-hmm I felt a

00:56:13 ◼   ► bit bad because like I hadn't turned up

00:56:16 ◼   ► with anything and you guys were

00:56:17 ◼   ► bestowing on me this enormous gift which

00:56:20 ◼   ► I have to say as one of the best wrapped

00:56:22 ◼   ► and ribbond gifts I've ever seen I will

00:56:26 ◼   ► put a picture of it wrapped in the

00:56:28 ◼   ► shownotes and I couldn't wait to open it

00:56:30 ◼   ► mm-hmm and then you guys told me I

00:56:32 ◼   ► couldn't open it until this episode so

00:56:35 ◼   ► it remains wrapped and it's sitting next

00:56:37 ◼   ► to me right this moment fantastic ready

00:56:39 ◼   ► yes we got a little gift for you huh and

00:56:43 ◼   ► I wanted to wait it's not little it's

00:56:47 ◼   ► massive you have a picture I'll put in

00:56:49 ◼   ► the show notes of the gifts with Audrey

00:56:52 ◼   ► for scale so people can immediately

00:56:54 ◼   ► understand how big the packages yeah but

00:56:57 ◼   ► yes there's a presence that we got for

00:57:00 ◼   ► you yeah that we wanted to have you open

00:57:03 ◼   ► on the show we thought would be the best

00:57:06 ◼   ► way to do it so we've made you wait a

00:57:09 ◼   ► week a suspense has been killing me has

00:57:11 ◼   ► it brainy hasn't actually been killing

00:57:12 ◼   ► you actually kind of has I've grown kind

00:57:15 ◼   ► of attached to it now that it's been

00:57:16 ◼   ► sitting in my office and cause it's so

00:57:17 ◼   ► such a beautiful object mm-hmm you know

00:57:19 ◼   ► it's big and gold with a big red sash

00:57:21 ◼   ► I've come to quite like it it's the

00:57:24 ◼   ► point where unwrapping it is gonna be

00:57:25 ◼   ► disappointed because the beauty of it

00:57:27 ◼   ► will be destroyed I'm not a very like

00:57:29 ◼   ► Nate and rapper either I wouldn't expect

00:57:31 ◼   ► you a very neat unwrapped er either I

00:57:33 ◼   ► figured this he'd go one of two ways

00:57:34 ◼   ► which is that one you would obsess over

00:57:36 ◼   ► what's in the box

00:57:37 ◼   ► hmm or two you might just totally forget

00:57:40 ◼   ► about it

00:57:41 ◼   ► did you put it in a room and it would

00:57:42 ◼   ► out of sight out of mind it didn't occur

00:57:44 ◼   ► to me that you would you would place

00:57:45 ◼   ► in a spot where you could see it and

00:57:47 ◼   ► gaze upon it all the time and then just

00:57:49 ◼   ► just like it as an actual object in your

00:57:51 ◼   ► office the only slight problem with

00:57:54 ◼   ► having a beautiful gold gift wrapped in

00:57:57 ◼   ► your office at a time that like it's not

00:57:58 ◼   ► Christmas and stuff like that is over

00:58:01 ◼   ► the past few days I've had a few people

00:58:03 ◼   ► visit my house like some of them have

00:58:05 ◼   ► been here for like extended stays as

00:58:07 ◼   ► well because they're like numberphile

00:58:08 ◼   ► guests who sometimes come here and we

00:58:10 ◼   ► make videos together for a day or two

00:58:11 ◼   ► and then they go off so all of these

00:58:14 ◼   ► people like when they come into my

00:58:16 ◼   ► office they see this wrapped gift and

00:58:18 ◼   ► I'm a bit worried in the back of their

00:58:20 ◼   ► head they've all been thinking oh I

00:58:21 ◼   ► wonder if that's for me is little thank

00:58:22 ◼   ► you for doing numberphile they never get

00:58:24 ◼   ► it and then I feel really guilty that

00:58:26 ◼   ► all these people have been coming and

00:58:27 ◼   ► thinking that the presents for them and

00:58:28 ◼   ► they they it's not it's for me if people

00:58:31 ◼   ► don't say anything I think you can kind

00:58:33 ◼   ► of assume that in the back of their mind

00:58:35 ◼   ► they were hoping what the gift is for

00:58:36 ◼   ► them cuz I don't go oh what's the gift

00:58:39 ◼   ► because you wouldn't say that yeah

00:58:40 ◼   ► exactly right like they're standing by

00:58:42 ◼   ► it like you know rubbing their toe into

00:58:44 ◼   ► the ground looking at you and going like

00:58:46 ◼   ► so is it time to go now that the day is

00:58:49 ◼   ► over

00:58:49 ◼   ► Oh big s I'll be here to go if there's

00:58:51 ◼   ► nothing else nothing else that I think

00:58:55 ◼   ► that's the implicit social thing that's

00:58:58 ◼   ► occurring there yeah feeling like it

00:58:59 ◼   ► gives her for them so I'm sorry about

00:59:00 ◼   ► that Brady maybe they just didn't notice

00:59:02 ◼   ► it although he's hard to miss because

00:59:03 ◼   ► it's gold and red it's crazy

00:59:06 ◼   ► so should I open up okay yes you can

00:59:09 ◼   ► open the gift now okay just preface yes

00:59:13 ◼   ► that there is some assembly required

00:59:17 ◼   ► just so that you know that you know that

00:59:19 ◼   ► going into it but yes you can open the

00:59:21 ◼   ► gift you can open the gift now Brady

00:59:22 ◼   ► okay here we go

00:59:24 ◼   ► oh I'm putting it on my lap and I'm

00:59:31 ◼   ► undoing this secure doesn't contain

00:59:35 ◼   ► basil yeah surprise it's a bag full of

00:59:39 ◼   ► live view that would make quite the

00:59:43 ◼   ► podcast Sigma all right I've done the

00:59:45 ◼   ► sides

00:59:52 ◼   ► Wow this is a new microphone

00:59:57 ◼   ► it's called Shore legend

00:59:57 ◼   ► it's called Shore legend

01:00:00 ◼   ► Darry performance 75th anniversary model

01:00:03 ◼   ► limited edition it's amazing looking

01:00:07 ◼   ► like it funnily enough it's the sort of

01:00:09 ◼   ► thing that I would quite like the look

01:00:11 ◼   ► of it's almost like the people who

01:00:12 ◼   ► bought it and you might taste it's

01:00:13 ◼   ► almost like we've been in your house and

01:00:15 ◼   ► know how things look again

01:00:18 ◼   ► top-of-the-line early 1900s

01:00:22 ◼   ► look for everything that's in your house

01:00:23 ◼   ► Brady this is gorgeous I'm actually

01:00:25 ◼   ► opening the box to look at the device

01:00:27 ◼   ► itself now this is what I was going to

01:00:28 ◼   ► say is what you have to understand is

01:00:31 ◼   ► that it is it's not just a microphone

01:00:34 ◼   ► that we got your Brady yeah this is a a

01:00:37 ◼   ► symbol of something so what I want you

01:00:40 ◼   ► to take a look at is the base because

01:00:43 ◼   ► what we got you is not just a microphone

01:00:45 ◼   ► but it is it is a trophy is what it is

01:00:49 ◼   ► Brady Wow

01:00:50 ◼   ► so oh wow so it's got like a numbered

01:00:54 ◼   ► certificate of authenticity mm-hmm so

01:00:56 ◼   ► like that that already it really excites

01:00:58 ◼   ► me and it's like wow this is amazing

01:01:03 ◼   ► it's in like a its own little steel

01:01:06 ◼   ► suitcase mm-hmm like you would see

01:01:11 ◼   ► someone carrying if it was like like you

01:01:13 ◼   ► play your head like like it should be

01:01:15 ◼   ► handcuffed to my wrist yeah that's

01:01:17 ◼   ► exactly what like that that case totally

01:01:19 ◼   ► looks like the case that's handcuffed to

01:01:22 ◼   ► a security guard kind of case so I'm

01:01:24 ◼   ► gonna I'm gonna undo the case now Wow

01:01:30 ◼   ► there's the microphone like in all

01:01:32 ◼   ► spongy sponginess mm-hmm

01:01:34 ◼   ► that's a good-looking microphone now it

01:01:38 ◼   ► doesn't appear the basis that looks like

01:01:40 ◼   ► the base is separate so I'm gonna open

01:01:41 ◼   ► the other box with the base in it

01:01:42 ◼   ► because you know it's all about the base

01:01:44 ◼   ► on hello Internet

01:01:47 ◼   ► well here's the base oh hang on no the

01:01:51 ◼   ► base isn't engraved there we know oh

01:01:55 ◼   ► well what is the base a Brady the base

01:02:01 ◼   ► says dr. Brady Haran radio and podcast

01:02:05 ◼   ► champion 2017 you're being naughty

01:02:14 ◼   ► we're not being Yeti because as the

01:02:18 ◼   ► audience already knows at this point the

01:02:21 ◼   ► people who follow hello internet

01:02:22 ◼   ► intensely now you won the internet radio

01:02:28 ◼   ► competition podcast voting extravaganza

01:02:32 ◼   ► that the Radio Times put on we were

01:02:34 ◼   ► discussing in the last episode yes you

01:02:37 ◼   ► won that you won that by an enormous

01:02:40 ◼   ► amount and what was there from the Radio

01:02:44 ◼   ► Times not but silence and my wife and I

01:02:50 ◼   ► thought that's not the kind of respect

01:02:52 ◼   ► and acknowledgement that dr. Brady Haran

01:02:54 ◼   ► deserves we need to give him a trophy to

01:02:59 ◼   ► embody this accomplishment and this

01:03:02 ◼   ► award that Brady has won so my wife went

01:03:05 ◼   ► out on the Internet's and we decided to

01:03:09 ◼   ► find a trophy for Brady and there was

01:03:13 ◼   ► nothing that was up to what we thought

01:03:15 ◼   ► would be the magnificent standard that

01:03:18 ◼   ► you deserve so we found this

01:03:20 ◼   ► limited-edition microphone and we got it

01:03:23 ◼   ► engraved in London and the base so this

01:03:26 ◼   ► is the trophy to represent your triumph

01:03:29 ◼   ► in podcasting Brady well I feel like I

01:03:33 ◼   ► should make a short speech I would just

01:03:37 ◼   ► like to say this is not just a victory

01:03:39 ◼   ► for me mm-hmm

01:03:40 ◼   ► this is a victory for my co-host

01:03:46 ◼   ► although he fell in the battle and was

01:03:49 ◼   ► not able to make it all the way to the

01:03:50 ◼   ► final stages I felt like he was with me

01:03:53 ◼   ► in spirit and he was certainly with me

01:03:56 ◼   ► on Twitter

01:03:56 ◼   ► [Laughter]

01:03:58 ◼   ► I was with you on Twitter every step of

01:04:00 ◼   ► the way buddy but also this is not about

01:04:03 ◼   ► me mm-hmm no and this is not a victory

01:04:05 ◼   ► for me this is a victory for the Tim's

01:04:07 ◼   ► and I mean that quite literally because

01:04:11 ◼   ► as we were discussed early they pretty

01:04:13 ◼   ► much did it and I was a slightly

01:04:16 ◼   ► confused and bemused passenger for their

01:04:21 ◼   ► mischief-making but before we talk about

01:04:24 ◼   ► this vote and how it came to be that I

01:04:26 ◼   ► am the Radio Times rarely on podcast

01:04:29 ◼   ► champion and we will talk about it

01:04:30 ◼   ► because it was fascinating and also I

01:04:33 ◼   ► need some of it explain to me there is a

01:04:35 ◼   ► group of people I want to thank and

01:04:38 ◼   ► these are not the people who are

01:04:39 ◼   ► responsible for the victory really but

01:04:43 ◼   ► they actually are a really sizable group

01:04:44 ◼   ► and that is the group of people that sat

01:04:48 ◼   ► at their computer and just clicked on a

01:04:51 ◼   ► button and refresh the page and waited

01:04:54 ◼   ► and click the button again and then

01:04:56 ◼   ► wouldn't had a coffee and click the

01:04:57 ◼   ► button again and I had like some friends

01:04:59 ◼   ► that dinner and like some friends wives

01:05:02 ◼   ► and people like that who were oblivious

01:05:04 ◼   ► to the technological firestorm that was

01:05:09 ◼   ► taking place behind the scenes on both

01:05:10 ◼   ► sides even people who were aware we're

01:05:13 ◼   ► still participating there were many a

01:05:14 ◼   ► manual vote cast in the gray household

01:05:16 ◼   ► for Brady I'll tell you them yes and

01:05:18 ◼   ► there are lots of people who used the

01:05:21 ◼   ► conventional way of mallets died think

01:05:23 ◼   ► of just voting over and over again on

01:05:26 ◼   ► their computer I seriously want to thank

01:05:27 ◼   ► them because some people like spent a

01:05:29 ◼   ► lot of time doing and it was really

01:05:31 ◼   ► sweet like Alan who famously composed

01:05:33 ◼   ► the hello internet jingle mm-hmm it'll

01:05:36 ◼   ► sound at the side of a show called me up

01:05:37 ◼   ► and said oh my wife and I so happy that

01:05:39 ◼   ► you weren't my wife like stayed up

01:05:41 ◼   ► really late and was sitting in bed

01:05:42 ◼   ► voting for you lots and lots of times

01:05:44 ◼   ► and then I sort of said to him like you

01:05:46 ◼   ► realized like that was quite a lot of

01:05:48 ◼   ► other stuff going on and he was like I

01:05:49 ◼   ► didn't I had no idea like so there are

01:05:52 ◼   ► lots of people who were just like really

01:05:54 ◼   ► sweet voting the old-fashioned way and

01:05:56 ◼   ► like that means a lot like you know the

01:06:00 ◼   ► whole thing doesn't mean anything cause

01:06:01 ◼   ► they silly vote but I want to thank

01:06:04 ◼   ► those people because they're like you

01:06:06 ◼   ► know they're old school I guess we'd

01:06:07 ◼   ► better talk about what happened in this

01:06:09 ◼   ► vote and discuss a few things about it

01:06:11 ◼   ► because

01:06:11 ◼   ► it had quite the conclusion let's talk

01:06:13 ◼   ► about that vote just to finish my speech

01:06:16 ◼   ► thank you to gray and mrs. gray because

01:06:18 ◼   ► this is actually a really lovely thing

01:06:20 ◼   ► you've given me as well like actually

01:06:21 ◼   ► does mean a lot to me so thank you very

01:06:23 ◼   ► much and I will thank her in person

01:06:25 ◼   ► that's well again we know physical

01:06:28 ◼   ► objects mean a lot to you Brady

01:06:30 ◼   ► we wanted you to have an embodiment of

01:06:32 ◼   ► this tremendous thing that we have all

01:06:35 ◼   ► gone through together as a big hello

01:06:39 ◼   ► internet group I mean should I use this

01:06:40 ◼   ► microphone now as my podcasting

01:06:42 ◼   ► microphone or should I put it on my

01:06:43 ◼   ► little shelf where I have like my

01:06:44 ◼   ► favorite because I do have three or four

01:06:46 ◼   ► trophies that means so much to me I do

01:06:48 ◼   ► have them on display so I could put that

01:06:50 ◼   ► up there on my little my mantle of Fame

01:06:52 ◼   ► this is 100% up to you it serves either

01:06:56 ◼   ► as a trophy or it can be a hell of an

01:06:58 ◼   ► Internet microphone it is a working

01:07:00 ◼   ► microphone it is a limited edition

01:07:01 ◼   ► working microphone so it looks like the

01:07:03 ◼   ► bangs nice to be honest

01:07:04 ◼   ► however it's your trophy now it is in

01:07:06 ◼   ► your hands

01:07:07 ◼   ► however it best serves you baby I just

01:07:09 ◼   ► don't want to sully it it's so lovely

01:07:10 ◼   ► like I don't want to scratch it and

01:07:12 ◼   ► knock it but maybe that will add you

01:07:14 ◼   ► know charm to it if it's like you used

01:07:16 ◼   ► in battle like it will increase its

01:07:18 ◼   ► value if hello Internet episodes were

01:07:20 ◼   ► actually recorded on it it's up to you

01:07:23 ◼   ► man it's up to you all right all right

01:07:25 ◼   ► so let me very quickly recap what

01:07:28 ◼   ► happened for people who are smart enough

01:07:30 ◼   ► to have taken absolutely no interest in

01:07:32 ◼   ► this debacle that happened a few weeks

01:07:34 ◼   ► ago now just before you even begin with

01:07:36 ◼   ► this like I just have to say I love kind

01:07:39 ◼   ► of sometimes getting involved in these

01:07:41 ◼   ► sort of silly internet things it really

01:07:43 ◼   ► is fun to let yourself get like swept

01:07:46 ◼   ► away in an event like this something

01:07:48 ◼   ► like that just really heightens the

01:07:50 ◼   ► feeling of even like you were saying

01:07:52 ◼   ► with with Alan and his wife who were

01:07:53 ◼   ► voting for you in the election that

01:07:56 ◼   ► people are just unaware of like to us

01:07:59 ◼   ► what seemed like this incredible

01:08:01 ◼   ► all-consuming Malstrom for a weekend

01:08:03 ◼   ► yeah there's Twitter and this

01:08:05 ◼   ► coordination on reddit and there's

01:08:06 ◼   ► messages going back and forth where I am

01:08:08 ◼   ► in and it's like this is this flurry of

01:08:10 ◼   ► activity that seems so all-consuming

01:08:13 ◼   ► which you realize is like just one of

01:08:15 ◼   ► like an infinite number of internet

01:08:17 ◼   ► maelstroms that are occurring and every

01:08:19 ◼   ► corner of the globe right it's like

01:08:21 ◼   ► outside of this world totally

01:08:24 ◼   ► meaningless

01:08:25 ◼   ► inside of this world to a sub community

01:08:28 ◼   ► all consuming like 40 points in 72 hours

01:08:32 ◼   ► I have followed no election in my life

01:08:36 ◼   ► more closely than this way so I'll give

01:08:39 ◼   ► like a brief summary of what I think

01:08:41 ◼   ► happened you can you can explain some of

01:08:43 ◼   ► it to me and tell me the parts of it

01:08:45 ◼   ► that tickled your fancy so last time

01:08:47 ◼   ► people listened if they listened to the

01:08:49 ◼   ► last episode they'll know the radio

01:08:50 ◼   ► times around this pole for their radio

01:08:53 ◼   ► and podcast champion they ran all

01:08:55 ◼   ► different polls for different categories

01:08:57 ◼   ► like TV stars and comedians and there

01:08:59 ◼   ► was a radio and podcast section there

01:09:01 ◼   ► was a huge big thing very elaborate with

01:09:03 ◼   ► all different groups and a knockout

01:09:05 ◼   ► section and it got to a point where I

01:09:07 ◼   ► was in this quarter-final up against

01:09:10 ◼   ► this guy called Steve Allen who gray and

01:09:13 ◼   ► I thought was a bit dismissive of us

01:09:14 ◼   ► within wait so we we sort of caused a

01:09:17 ◼   ► call to arms to try and win the vote let

01:09:19 ◼   ► me win the vote against this guy and

01:09:21 ◼   ► that's how the last podcast ended and we

01:09:26 ◼   ► deliberately released that podcast after

01:09:28 ◼   ► all the voting was over because we

01:09:29 ◼   ► didn't we didn't want to be seen to be

01:09:30 ◼   ► like you know getting involved

01:09:32 ◼   ► well at least via the back up that

01:09:36 ◼   ► phrasing we thought it would be better

01:09:38 ◼   ► to drop the episode after results were

01:09:41 ◼   ► closed yeah I mean releasing the podcast

01:09:43 ◼   ► to like you know 900 thousand downloads

01:09:45 ◼   ► whatever felt a bit like we'd be

01:09:46 ◼   ► bringing a gun to a knife fight

01:09:48 ◼   ► so it was like let's just do it they do

01:09:50 ◼   ► this the old-fashioned way

01:09:51 ◼   ► mmm-hmm so I won this vote against the

01:09:54 ◼   ► Steve Allen and I had said on the

01:09:56 ◼   ► podcast that was it this is a

01:09:58 ◼   ► meaningless silly vote to just drive

01:09:59 ◼   ► clicks to their website and increase

01:10:01 ◼   ► their advertising and I said I'm gonna

01:10:04 ◼   ► have anything more to do with it I want

01:10:05 ◼   ► to just jump in here as well that I to

01:10:08 ◼   ► at this point felt satiated in this

01:10:12 ◼   ► internet's kerfuffle I think my exact

01:10:15 ◼   ► words were that I wanted I wanted your

01:10:17 ◼   ► opponent crushed into the ground yeah I

01:10:19 ◼   ► feel like that was in internet terms

01:10:21 ◼   ► accomplished it was victory and I felt

01:10:24 ◼   ► like ah okay catharsis

01:10:26 ◼   ► it's all over oh good oh good so in the

01:10:30 ◼   ► semi-final I was paired up with someone

01:10:32 ◼   ► called lilah Parsons who is a DJ and a

01:10:35 ◼   ► TV presenter and a model and obvious

01:10:39 ◼   ► very talented and successful but it

01:10:41 ◼   ► turns out I won that vote as well I

01:10:43 ◼   ► didn't even follow that vote really but

01:10:45 ◼   ► it turns out I won that vote and that

01:10:47 ◼   ► put me into the final and the final was

01:10:50 ◼   ► against funnily enough a colleague a

01:10:52 ◼   ► radio colleague of Steve Allen like a

01:10:54 ◼   ► co-presenter on the same station threw

01:10:57 ◼   ► like mates and I was in the final

01:10:59 ◼   ► against him and he had taken an interest

01:11:01 ◼   ► in this whole vote and had been tweeting

01:11:04 ◼   ► about it and encouraging people to vote

01:11:05 ◼   ► now out of kind of respect I kind of

01:11:09 ◼   ► looked him up and who he was and found

01:11:11 ◼   ► out a bit about him and I listened to

01:11:12 ◼   ► his show and I just want to say from the

01:11:13 ◼   ► outset I quite like this guy like I

01:11:16 ◼   ► listened to his show a couple of times

01:11:17 ◼   ► I've read some of the stuff he writes he

01:11:20 ◼   ► seems reasonably like-minded to me on

01:11:22 ◼   ► some issues a lot of people who follow

01:11:24 ◼   ► it hello internet like him I found out

01:11:26 ◼   ► there was a lot of crossover seems of

01:11:28 ◼   ► sound guy and also before the vote

01:11:31 ◼   ► started he even tweeted me and like said

01:11:33 ◼   ► you know good luck mate haha and I sort

01:11:35 ◼   ► of tweeted back so no issues with this

01:11:37 ◼   ► guy at all sound guy everything's good

01:11:40 ◼   ► yeah so the vote started and there was a

01:11:44 ◼   ► bit of to and fro early and I think he

01:11:46 ◼   ► had a lead but what happened then was

01:11:48 ◼   ► the Tim's took over at this point and

01:11:52 ◼   ► they got really really into it and I

01:11:55 ◼   ► want to say Radio Times was really

01:11:57 ◼   ► whipping this up into a frenzy there

01:11:59 ◼   ► article and their website said in the

01:12:01 ◼   ► blue corner and in the red corner and

01:12:03 ◼   ► they all the way through the whole thing

01:12:04 ◼   ► they were tweeting about it all the time

01:12:06 ◼   ► they were inciting people to vote they

01:12:08 ◼   ► were using language that like made it

01:12:10 ◼   ► sound like a real war they were using

01:12:12 ◼   ► language like rally the troops oh yeah

01:12:14 ◼   ► they specifically said on their website

01:12:16 ◼   ► and in multiple places vote as many

01:12:18 ◼   ► times as you want vote often because I

01:12:20 ◼   ► think they wanted people to continually

01:12:22 ◼   ► refresh the pages and up their ad

01:12:24 ◼   ► impression exactly yeah that that's 100%

01:12:26 ◼   ► what it was I realized they were they

01:12:28 ◼   ► were retweeting everything that they

01:12:30 ◼   ► possibly could that was related to these

01:12:33 ◼   ► internet fights they were whipping it up

01:12:35 ◼   ► they were really whipping it up

01:12:37 ◼   ► so the Tim's took the gauntlet now I

01:12:39 ◼   ► decided to stay out of it that was my

01:12:41 ◼   ► decision I wasn't going to tweet about

01:12:42 ◼   ► it I wasn't going to get involved in the

01:12:45 ◼   ► end my only policy was to retweet

01:12:47 ◼   ► whenever this James O'Brien tweeted so

01:12:49 ◼   ► if he ever said come on everyone that's

01:12:51 ◼   ► vote lots of times

01:12:52 ◼   ► just retweet his thing and let people

01:12:54 ◼   ► decide what to do but the Tim's the

01:12:57 ◼   ► Tim's got really into it they created

01:12:59 ◼   ► this like battle command station on

01:13:01 ◼   ► River on a reddit thread where they

01:13:04 ◼   ► coordinated in ways that I still don't

01:13:06 ◼   ► understand

01:13:07 ◼   ► they were clearly using automated voting

01:13:09 ◼   ► and BOTS and things like that they were

01:13:12 ◼   ► creating pages where the voting could be

01:13:14 ◼   ► done automatically by your computer and

01:13:16 ◼   ► clearly a kind of arms war started

01:13:19 ◼   ► because James O'Brien fans who I want to

01:13:22 ◼   ► point out were doing the same thing and

01:13:23 ◼   ► I have lots of evidence they were doing

01:13:25 ◼   ► the same thing and the vote wouldn't

01:13:26 ◼   ► have been as close as it was if they

01:13:27 ◼   ► weren't doing the same thing but the

01:13:29 ◼   ► James some of the more old-fashioned

01:13:31 ◼   ► James O'Brien fans started crying foul

01:13:34 ◼   ► and because this was the teams were

01:13:36 ◼   ► doing this so openly they were doing on

01:13:38 ◼   ► reddit they were explaining their

01:13:39 ◼   ► tactics so that other people could do it

01:13:41 ◼   ► it was a real public communal effort

01:13:43 ◼   ► there wasn't it wasn't clandestine yeah

01:13:44 ◼   ► that's why the James O'Brien fans was

01:13:46 ◼   ► stealing all the technology and codes

01:13:48 ◼   ► that they were finding and using it to

01:13:50 ◼   ► vote for their guy so it was very open

01:13:52 ◼   ► but like the more old-fashioned fans of

01:13:55 ◼   ► James O'Brien probably a more typical

01:13:56 ◼   ► Radio Times readers I think when they

01:13:59 ◼   ► found this thread thought they'd found

01:14:01 ◼   ► something from like the dark web or

01:14:02 ◼   ► something some great secret yeah and

01:14:04 ◼   ► they were then tweeting it and sending

01:14:06 ◼   ► it to Radio Times going look what's

01:14:07 ◼   ► going on this cheating and they started

01:14:09 ◼   ► crying foul and they started saying some

01:14:11 ◼   ► like inflammatory things like I'm gonna

01:14:12 ◼   ► you know cancel my subscription and this

01:14:15 ◼   ► whole thing's corrupt and they got

01:14:16 ◼   ► really upset because their beloved radio

01:14:18 ◼   ► presenter looked like he might lose the

01:14:20 ◼   ► vote and at that point Radio Times were

01:14:23 ◼   ► like oh my god what have we done we've

01:14:26 ◼   ► created a monster yeah there was

01:14:28 ◼   ► definitely a tonal shift from Radio

01:14:30 ◼   ► Times they went deadly silent on the

01:14:33 ◼   ► whole thing they never said or tweeted

01:14:34 ◼   ► another word they still haven't to this

01:14:36 ◼   ► day even though they're happy tweeting

01:14:38 ◼   ► about other winners they went completely

01:14:39 ◼   ► silent but they obviously started trying

01:14:43 ◼   ► to implement technological solutions

01:14:45 ◼   ► like at one point they introduced

01:14:47 ◼   ► captures to stop people from using the

01:14:50 ◼   ► automated process but when they did that

01:14:52 ◼   ► yeah the lead I had actually started

01:14:53 ◼   ► increasing which makes me think maybe I

01:14:55 ◼   ► had more manual voters then than the

01:14:57 ◼   ► other guy I want to just point out a

01:15:00 ◼   ► couple things as we're going along this

01:15:01 ◼   ► along this road here right because yes

01:15:03 ◼   ► automated voting started

01:15:05 ◼   ► happening and and escalating at a rate

01:15:08 ◼   ► that almost felt like there's like