Ep. 15: "Covered in Sauce"
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I John how are you hi Merlin how's every
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little thing
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oh well that's it you just described it
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it's just a bunch of little things it's
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all little things now
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whoo yeah I don't have I don't have any
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big things left eye
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I can't believe that you said those
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words get there i just wrote some things
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down a card and I'm not gonna tell you
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any of them because they're all little
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things and I either selling an eighties
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comic or a bomb back haha I you
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you do remind me of Burma baumbach yeah
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with the cancer and other people that's
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funny is no knowing that you know past I
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think but d um you know I tried to
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prepare for anything too much I've
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learned in life as you know john that
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you know just listen to the other person
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it's really how i learned haha just
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saying yes you just like you just say
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yes you never said no I'm not to say
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know where you I little things little
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mix yeah i know i don't hate all these
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don't be sorry I put a foot on the
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internet earlier today of my archive of
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our cars have shown you this no-nonsense
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link i think i did a quick count i did
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that damn thing where you take half and
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half of that you know you can multiply
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you know if you take a three-by-five
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cards and folded in half when you fold
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it in half again who and then you fold
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it in half again
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who was that called and then you fold it
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in half again who write that down
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that was wrongly card folding seven ways
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to get the 17 times right yeah there's
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only so many times you can fold it
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before you I heard the Mythbusters guys
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did that but they put a can to
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somebody's house and they did it card
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folding it put a line through a bowling
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ball through somebody hear about that
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you hear about that who didn't hear
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about that
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yeah it was it was that I mean I
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probably there were three or four wars
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going on around the world like little
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little people are being burned alive
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with flamethrowers in their huts but I
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heard about the Mythbusters bowling ball
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all day that day that bowling ball can't
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his cannon ball right
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I don't know what happened Ireland where
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did it happen I thought it happened in
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San Francisco where all things happen
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no I thought I don't think II i dont
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think shes sweet who they were in
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Ireland you think you're just saying
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that because he has red hair
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no you're like oh it was in Ireland r2d2
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I you be funny thing i don't know i
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don't know why when i first heard that
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story for some reason I thought it was
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somewhere in like a green green and
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lonely part of the UK but I don't think
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it was like Michigan where did happen
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michigan is the Ireland of the Upper
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Midwest mhm yeah that was even used to
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say I'm sure that he passed also
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definitely pass you love those
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sandwiches but now you've got everything
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he passed he died he'd done he didn't
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pass you died and so did her mom back
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but Irma Bombeck died from being old I
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don't if she had cancer it was just the
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cancer being older she had breast cancer
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she would she was like 80,000 years old
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i disagree i would be surprised if you
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think I'm a barback died prematurely
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I mean doesn't everybody died
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prematurely John well I guess so if you
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gonna call people who didn't die
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prematurely if you read hyndland think
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that we should all be living in in scira
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genic prolongation you've been sleeping
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i have not been sleeping i'm not slept
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very much
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he said highlander Heinlein well see now
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I I'm gonna get I'm gonna get run up the
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geek flag pole because I say highland
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but I maybe a timeline when what's the
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thing with the train in New York that's
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the highline ok a little bit ping-pong
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and get a little speech impediment and
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if you put your hand up in here and
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someone else hits it it's a high five
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I'm lying a heart highline had a little
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things little things boys are all
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terrible than these make any sense at
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uh-huh Baumbach her mom died I don't
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know where you google this my senses
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that she was probably see where would
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you google my sense is that she was
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probably
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67-62 or 80 when she was 69 that I 5-4
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twenties right the grass is always
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greener over the 80-year old one
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actually
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well it's for we've been talking for
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four minutes and 20 seconds just as I
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haha yeah I don't not gonna fuck you i
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might not I do not miss marijuana was
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gonna ask you about how tuning guitars
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that's a heavy statement you don't miss
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marijuana a lick
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because of all the things well that's
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not true there are a lot of things i'm
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gonna head judge me it's funny I can
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feel it coming
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there's no wonder it's not a judgment
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but marijuana sometimes makes sense for
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instance if you want to marijuana he
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sometimes makes sense if you want to sit
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in the bathtub and masturbate all day
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marijuana is presented with that tub
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mastered not anymore i haven't in years
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but it was your water in it back in the
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old just go sit in the bathtub in your
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clothes and masturbates because you
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don't want to get it on anything I think
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they're assuming I'm not a lawyer as you
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know John I think you're seeing a lot of
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things not in evidence when you sit talk
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about being high measure been thinking
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about a lot of ways that could go listen
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and might not know you're a bathtub or
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masturbating particularly when you don't
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have when you have a lot of resources
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and you're you're sharing living
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arrangement with other people are or
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maybe you're crafting have been laid off
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and you don't and you there are times
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when you need to masturbate it's a it's
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important physical thing you need to do
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and there just aren't that many places
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you can get away maybe you don't have
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your own bedroom maybe you're sleeping
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on their couch in there then they're all
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standing around staring and wondering
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that's why bathrooms became popular and
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yes let's be honest anybody leave you
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ask any man I've seen urinate in some in
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some really exotic places and really
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more disturbingly it's very mundane
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places and the thing is there's no one
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better place to urinate when you really
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have to go
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no every one of them is the Taj Mahal of
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urination each one is like a little
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fucking magic kingdom
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then it's hello nobody know guys sitting
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around going who I need to close the
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door to go blasted Tiki you know and i
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think as you get older you get more
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comfortable you can drop a deuce
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anywhere but I think you want a little
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bit of privacy that dander you know
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that's not something people have to
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share the dander and so so you're right
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you can quit your you don't want to
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stand you want to sit on the toilet
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masturbate like some kind of animal
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would you ever do that again i would
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rather do that i'm sorry i don't
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interrupt yeah I'd rather do that can be
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in the bathtub I don't understand master
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period and like underwater not
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completely underwater see that's the
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thing this is the thing when you're
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young guy you think oh sex under water
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is going to be amazing work because it
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has everything that you need you want to
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your underwater you're the girl with the
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pool her parents are out of town and
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city all of them and you feel like
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you're bet you feel like wait you're
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bouncing around like you're on the
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surface of the Moon here in the swimming
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pool but having sex under water as
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everyone who's done it knows is this
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terrible it's a that's not how it's
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meant to be done
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yeah where we've evolved from being fish
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or Turtles and now we have sex on land
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second quarter right but if you are high
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who and you're sitting in somebody
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else's bathtub eating some grilled
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cheese sandwiches that you may have met
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or may not have made it is a fantastic
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place to masturbate you don't you just
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don't fill the tub all the way up with
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water it's a half half tub of water
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you're eating grilled cheese and
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investigating and half a cup of water a
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long time ago and I was very high
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that's a good safety precaution you
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might have said to yourself before i
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even smoke this i'm going to draw a line
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in the tub
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I think about the water must go no
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higher than that that's right that's
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right that's right and there should be a
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bath mat I should have everything your
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family program but I I'm resisting
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asking you a lot of questions
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yeah well don't don't don't censor
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yourself you know if there's something
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you want to know just ask
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I don't know it's where you know like to
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see the drunk people shouldn't drive
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because the judgment is impaired
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is that something you say that one of
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your catchphrases think it's not looking
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and drunk people shouldn't drive it is
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said I think I saw the look magazine i
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don't remember but I i was just thinking
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the other day about how stupid I people
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are and and in the same way that I think
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the drunk people probably shouldn't
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decide whether they're gonna drive
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I the high people just have a lot of
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confidence about the possibilities in
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the world which is really stupid you
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know i mean i guess that's good
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whatever I think you know that we talked
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about in like the first or second visit
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with that I still want to get back to is
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the extent to which drugs really have
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permanently fucked us up something I
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used to believe was a myth and I
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increasingly think are maybe a very
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distinct possibility
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so I just want to say I think know you
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the yellow you know if I become
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president patil be legal and will free
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the Dragons it's like okay great you
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know I'm glad we have an electoral
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system where you can release the dragons
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or whatever I think the thing about
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marijuana of all other drugs is
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absolutely interferes with your sense of
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the causality of things like you you
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lose your capacity to be to think in a
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linear fashion and that's why that's why
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the the myth of pot being a mellow drug
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is so insidious because it isn't mellow
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the most stressed out people I ever met
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our pot start pots donors and the reason
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that they're stressed out is that they
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can't remember how they got here you
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know they can't remember the series of
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things that they did to arrive at their
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current situation and they cannot fathom
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what series of things that can do to to
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remove really good that you don't like
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that's a really good way to put asked if
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you might cause Ali past or future base
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both yeah it's not only I don't
[TS]
00:10:13
◼
►
understand why I'm sitting in a car it
[TS]
00:10:16
◼
►
could really also be like why can't like
[TS]
00:10:17
◼
►
why can't go to meeting the Conqueror
[TS]
00:10:19
◼
►
you see that everything when you're
[TS]
00:10:21
◼
►
stoned everything becomes atomized day
[TS]
00:10:24
◼
►
and everything looks like a discreet
[TS]
00:10:26
◼
►
little moment and so you're like whoa
[TS]
00:10:28
◼
►
dude did you did you see that flower but
[TS]
00:10:33
◼
►
you see that you see the phones but
[TS]
00:10:35
◼
►
there's no cords plugged in any of them
[TS]
00:10:37
◼
►
exactly and so stoners are these people
[TS]
00:10:40
◼
►
they're like I'm so mellow so many dead
[TS]
00:10:42
◼
►
wife like what
[TS]
00:10:43
◼
►
dad come on
[TS]
00:10:44
◼
►
yeah you know I make they lose their
[TS]
00:10:46
◼
►
shit i hate i hate being that high so
[TS]
00:10:49
◼
►
much and I think that's one reason I
[TS]
00:10:51
◼
►
don't do it it's not fun for me it hurts
[TS]
00:10:53
◼
►
my immune system
[TS]
00:10:54
◼
►
it makes me paranoid but I really hate
[TS]
00:10:56
◼
►
being that high people in the
[TS]
00:10:58
◼
►
entertainment business that smoke a lot
[TS]
00:11:00
◼
►
of pot at the the worst combination are
[TS]
00:11:03
◼
►
because if you're if you're a roadie and
[TS]
00:11:06
◼
►
you smoke a lot of pop that's fine you
[TS]
00:11:07
◼
►
don't you don't really need your
[TS]
00:11:09
◼
►
nobody's asking you to do the big
[TS]
00:11:11
◼
►
picture right here just move the amps on
[TS]
00:11:12
◼
►
stage you hook them up the same every
[TS]
00:11:15
◼
►
night you can you can recognize that
[TS]
00:11:17
◼
►
process but when your road manager is a
[TS]
00:11:20
◼
►
stoner when people who are running clubs
[TS]
00:11:23
◼
►
are stoners that's where like money goes
[TS]
00:11:26
◼
►
missing that's where it's like oh we
[TS]
00:11:30
◼
►
gotta cancel the show because oh I said
[TS]
00:11:34
◼
►
I think I saw some snow you know that
[TS]
00:11:37
◼
►
they lose they will rub management
[TS]
00:11:40
◼
►
system is there anybody in the world
[TS]
00:11:42
◼
►
that has to have more access to what you
[TS]
00:11:45
◼
►
might call multitasking and love that
[TS]
00:11:47
◼
►
word but somebody who is able to think
[TS]
00:11:48
◼
►
not simply linearly right
[TS]
00:11:50
◼
►
certainly there has to be somebody who
[TS]
00:11:52
◼
►
knows which order the state's go in
[TS]
00:11:53
◼
►
there right that's like you know where
[TS]
00:11:57
◼
►
we're going to be in this state before
[TS]
00:11:58
◼
►
we're in that state and a trip to know
[TS]
00:12:00
◼
►
right now not confusing saturday with
[TS]
00:12:02
◼
►
the other saturday right managers will
[TS]
00:12:04
◼
►
see that that's like just that I mean
[TS]
00:12:06
◼
►
that is that is more difficult than it
[TS]
00:12:09
◼
►
sounds but but it like if you get a flat
[TS]
00:12:11
◼
►
knowing within seconds which three
[TS]
00:12:13
◼
►
people to call in which order right
[TS]
00:12:15
◼
►
that's a bad thing I got high or not I
[TS]
00:12:17
◼
►
cannot fast at that and some people are
[TS]
00:12:20
◼
►
they know exactly they're already doing
[TS]
00:12:21
◼
►
it right but those are skills that that
[TS]
00:12:23
◼
►
even an interstate truck driver can
[TS]
00:12:26
◼
►
master not not to cast aspersions on
[TS]
00:12:28
◼
►
anyone who's driving an interstate truck
[TS]
00:12:30
◼
►
because i think some of that work is
[TS]
00:12:32
◼
►
God's were scarce still scared the
[TS]
00:12:34
◼
►
Teamsters are but because you know as
[TS]
00:12:37
◼
►
your little under driven across America
[TS]
00:12:39
◼
►
in the middle of the night and I've done
[TS]
00:12:41
◼
►
I've done the entire trip in the middle
[TS]
00:12:42
◼
►
of in the middle of one night
[TS]
00:12:44
◼
►
it's there are a lot of trucks out there
[TS]
00:12:45
◼
►
without ephedrine um but speaking of
[TS]
00:12:48
◼
►
federal lab write that down on a
[TS]
00:12:50
◼
►
notecard got it right here to get along
[TS]
00:12:52
◼
►
but I'm madder than ever about
[TS]
00:12:53
◼
►
California and drug was the thing
[TS]
00:12:55
◼
►
about the thing about road managers is
[TS]
00:12:58
◼
►
or people in the entertainment business
[TS]
00:12:59
◼
►
that have to master some technical
[TS]
00:13:01
◼
►
aspect or a lot of technical aspect but
[TS]
00:13:04
◼
►
also deal with with artists and
[TS]
00:13:07
◼
►
personalities so it's not enough that
[TS]
00:13:10
◼
►
they have to know the order that the
[TS]
00:13:11
◼
►
states are in but they also have to tend
[TS]
00:13:14
◼
►
to some weeping little rock star that
[TS]
00:13:18
◼
►
whose playstation 3 can't boot up or
[TS]
00:13:21
◼
►
whatever and and to those are such
[TS]
00:13:24
◼
►
separate skill sets to be good at both
[TS]
00:13:28
◼
►
things and I think there are a lot of
[TS]
00:13:30
◼
►
people in Hollywood who have this job to
[TS]
00:13:31
◼
►
where they have to minister to these you
[TS]
00:13:35
◼
►
know these a flamboyant and and
[TS]
00:13:38
◼
►
completely untethered personalities and
[TS]
00:13:42
◼
►
I think that's really think through how
[TS]
00:13:44
◼
►
electricity works
[TS]
00:13:45
◼
►
oh my god are absolutely real anybody
[TS]
00:13:48
◼
►
who got famous before the age of 27
[TS]
00:13:51
◼
►
I don't think I can have possibly have
[TS]
00:13:54
◼
►
amassed the life skills the skillset
[TS]
00:13:58
◼
►
necessary to not be a total horse's ass
[TS]
00:14:01
◼
►
for the rest of their life you know like
[TS]
00:14:03
◼
►
if you if you got famous before you're
[TS]
00:14:04
◼
►
27 and you have managed to be a decent
[TS]
00:14:07
◼
►
person you are an anomaly because I
[TS]
00:14:12
◼
►
don't know
[TS]
00:14:12
◼
►
oh no I totally agree with you that's
[TS]
00:14:14
◼
►
why I mean there's so many things I've
[TS]
00:14:16
◼
►
wished for that i'm glad i never got
[TS]
00:14:17
◼
►
right being born rich
[TS]
00:14:20
◼
►
well you haven't Porsha nice this is the
[TS]
00:14:22
◼
►
nice thing about being 45 is this is the
[TS]
00:14:25
◼
►
perfect age to find out that your family
[TS]
00:14:27
◼
►
is actually extremely rich
[TS]
00:14:29
◼
►
sing it sister now I think about like
[TS]
00:14:32
◼
►
again it sounds like you were wired
[TS]
00:14:34
◼
►
pretty well yeah Jordan orange pants and
[TS]
00:14:36
◼
►
encyclopedia
[TS]
00:14:37
◼
►
but you know I think about myself and
[TS]
00:14:39
◼
►
like how much of an emotional child i am
[TS]
00:14:41
◼
►
even today and can you imagine suddenly
[TS]
00:14:44
◼
►
like the Ford agency or whatever gets
[TS]
00:14:47
◼
►
you a gig and you're on some Disney show
[TS]
00:14:49
◼
►
suddenly or whatever i don't know
[TS]
00:14:51
◼
►
exactly that simple but there are
[TS]
00:14:52
◼
►
certainly stories imagine their people
[TS]
00:14:55
◼
►
and you know just showed up on Saved by
[TS]
00:14:57
◼
►
the Bell pretty quickly or whatever but
[TS]
00:14:59
◼
►
all the sudden at this age
[TS]
00:15:01
◼
►
anytime after like three and before 27
[TS]
00:15:04
◼
►
like if you suddenly have are surrounded
[TS]
00:15:08
◼
►
by people
[TS]
00:15:09
◼
►
telling you that you are great and
[TS]
00:15:11
◼
►
everything is great and giving you just
[TS]
00:15:13
◼
►
probably terrible advice you know you
[TS]
00:15:16
◼
►
don't get me started on the whole idea
[TS]
00:15:17
◼
►
of agency in general when you're
[TS]
00:15:19
◼
►
surrounded by people who literally it's
[TS]
00:15:21
◼
►
like you know in loco parentis there are
[TS]
00:15:22
◼
►
people making decisions about your life
[TS]
00:15:24
◼
►
around you right
[TS]
00:15:25
◼
►
what happens before you're old enough to
[TS]
00:15:27
◼
►
appreciate I think part of getting older
[TS]
00:15:30
◼
►
is realizing that greatness like
[TS]
00:15:34
◼
►
tremendous creativity artistic talent
[TS]
00:15:37
◼
►
Beauty ability greatness in all its
[TS]
00:15:42
◼
►
forms is still not worth that much in
[TS]
00:15:46
◼
►
the grand scheme of things like there
[TS]
00:15:47
◼
►
are so many people in the world that
[TS]
00:15:51
◼
►
even your greatness is just a hill of
[TS]
00:15:54
◼
►
beans and I think if if you are told
[TS]
00:15:57
◼
►
that you're great at a young age your
[TS]
00:15:59
◼
►
your natural inclination as a person is
[TS]
00:16:01
◼
►
to think that greatness is some like
[TS]
00:16:03
◼
►
transcends somehow because we all have
[TS]
00:16:06
◼
►
this app will on this belief that that
[TS]
00:16:09
◼
►
we're going to arrive at a certain age
[TS]
00:16:11
◼
►
and it's going to be coasting from then
[TS]
00:16:14
◼
►
right like you're going to get to a
[TS]
00:16:15
◼
►
certain point and everything just turned
[TS]
00:16:17
◼
►
14 it'll be downhill that's exactly
[TS]
00:16:20
◼
►
oh my god and i still fall for them 4143
[TS]
00:16:23
◼
►
now and it's not a boy well i hope by
[TS]
00:16:26
◼
►
the time I'm 40 really feel like you
[TS]
00:16:28
◼
►
forfeit because I feel like you counsel
[TS]
00:16:29
◼
►
people consistently and trying to help
[TS]
00:16:31
◼
►
people that you counsel them often
[TS]
00:16:32
◼
►
how does sometimes we discussed it is
[TS]
00:16:34
◼
►
there is no arrival there is no
[TS]
00:16:36
◼
►
chlorination nobody's gonna make You
[TS]
00:16:38
◼
►
Lord of the indie rock in your own mind
[TS]
00:16:40
◼
►
there i mean in my own mind there is
[TS]
00:16:43
◼
►
still some some room in the very center
[TS]
00:16:45
◼
►
of the house where you open the the door
[TS]
00:16:48
◼
►
and there's a red light bulb in the room
[TS]
00:16:51
◼
►
first of all and there's a little boy
[TS]
00:16:53
◼
►
sitting indian-style playing with a
[TS]
00:16:55
◼
►
combination of the Guns of Navarone
[TS]
00:16:58
◼
►
playset and some Legos and some hot
[TS]
00:17:02
◼
►
wheels and you look at him and you go
[TS]
00:17:04
◼
►
what he got and he says well I hope by
[TS]
00:17:08
◼
►
the time 45 i don't have the kind of my
[TS]
00:17:11
◼
►
fantasies about imaginary children have
[TS]
00:17:14
◼
►
to deal with any of this shit anymore
[TS]
00:17:16
◼
►
you know I just I just don't want to
[TS]
00:17:17
◼
►
deal with any of this shit anymore and
[TS]
00:17:19
◼
►
and of course that moment never arrives
[TS]
00:17:21
◼
►
but if you are if you're told that you
[TS]
00:17:23
◼
►
you are fantastic and that greatness
[TS]
00:17:25
◼
►
matters and that you're put particular
[TS]
00:17:28
◼
►
greatness is unique
[TS]
00:17:31
◼
►
then i have to say every new day every
[TS]
00:17:33
◼
►
new frustration has to be a double slap
[TS]
00:17:36
◼
►
in the face to you like why do I have to
[TS]
00:17:38
◼
►
deal with this shit
[TS]
00:17:40
◼
►
don't you realize well sometimes it's
[TS]
00:17:43
◼
►
like that the antibacterial soap I'm
[TS]
00:17:44
◼
►
trying to get off the antibacterial soap
[TS]
00:17:46
◼
►
because i think i'm doing up you ever
[TS]
00:17:48
◼
►
not finish penicillin right you ever not
[TS]
00:17:50
◼
►
finished your antibiotics that are
[TS]
00:17:51
◼
►
taking good know what I'm capture that's
[TS]
00:17:54
◼
►
good for you so you take the v7 we saw
[TS]
00:17:56
◼
►
against Nolan good for you good for you
[TS]
00:17:59
◼
►
that's probably where such a bacterial
[TS]
00:18:01
◼
►
viral mess my good when I get sick I go
[TS]
00:18:03
◼
►
sit out in the rain and and I say
[TS]
00:18:06
◼
►
alright virus it's you or me
[TS]
00:18:08
◼
►
alright first of all it's not a virus
[TS]
00:18:09
◼
►
because you can't kill the Paris on
[TS]
00:18:11
◼
►
changing alright bacteria you think
[TS]
00:18:13
◼
►
you're tough
[TS]
00:18:15
◼
►
how do you like this cold rain this is
[TS]
00:18:16
◼
►
what all the great men have done
[TS]
00:18:18
◼
►
voltaire sat in the rain Mussolini rain
[TS]
00:18:22
◼
►
all right
[TS]
00:18:24
◼
►
ok ill rain they call you so blue
[TS]
00:18:26
◼
►
Mussolini's in your list of all the
[TS]
00:18:28
◼
►
great men i have a lot of cards John
[TS]
00:18:30
◼
►
alright i was cleaning and and Pol Pot
[TS]
00:18:34
◼
►
he's that in the rain is a snappy
[TS]
00:18:36
◼
►
dresser
[TS]
00:18:36
◼
►
ok listen i want to mention i agree with
[TS]
00:18:38
◼
►
you except to say that I think the the
[TS]
00:18:42
◼
►
false greatness is a important but
[TS]
00:18:44
◼
►
somewhat tertiary point2 what I want I
[TS]
00:18:46
◼
►
mean yes absolutely but the thing is
[TS]
00:18:47
◼
►
that's true for anybody's got a fucking
[TS]
00:18:49
◼
►
BMW before they had a job that I mean
[TS]
00:18:52
◼
►
I'm sorry sandy but i'm not even envious
[TS]
00:18:54
◼
►
I'm really actually jealous of the
[TS]
00:18:56
◼
►
airport ok ok it's a fine distinction
[TS]
00:18:58
◼
►
you know unless you're a dick tart like
[TS]
00:19:00
◼
►
all those guys with the fucking BMWs
[TS]
00:19:02
◼
►
screw those guys you know I you know
[TS]
00:19:03
◼
►
what we have a black german car with a
[TS]
00:19:05
◼
►
black german car that is 16 years old
[TS]
00:19:07
◼
►
wait a minute got your black german cars
[TS]
00:19:09
◼
►
one of those tiny little things that
[TS]
00:19:10
◼
►
fits in them he gonna karate in San
[TS]
00:19:12
◼
►
Francisco garage
[TS]
00:19:13
◼
►
you know what's funny is on the car that
[TS]
00:19:16
◼
►
we have it was probably the somewhat of
[TS]
00:19:20
◼
►
a nice official but it was like the
[TS]
00:19:22
◼
►
official car of the guy who never made
[TS]
00:19:24
◼
►
any money in the dot-com revolution
[TS]
00:19:26
◼
►
everybody had a late nineties jetta like
[TS]
00:19:27
◼
►
it's just black jets what you had but i
[TS]
00:19:30
◼
►
like to help that i'm not a total douche
[TS]
00:19:31
◼
►
i'm constantly astounded by how many
[TS]
00:19:34
◼
►
complete dicks drive bmws and let's say
[TS]
00:19:36
◼
►
that for a whole cars episode but i
[TS]
00:19:38
◼
►
think is that the the the BMW drivers
[TS]
00:19:41
◼
►
are missing out on the farfegnugen yes
[TS]
00:19:43
◼
►
this is the joy of driving
[TS]
00:19:45
◼
►
yeah no no it's absolutely true uh
[TS]
00:19:47
◼
►
there's you know there's a lot of stuff
[TS]
00:19:49
◼
►
like that do you ever see the xfinity
[TS]
00:19:51
◼
►
from comcast to get the comcast up there
[TS]
00:19:54
◼
►
i'm sure we can get CB texts xfinity
[TS]
00:19:56
◼
►
like Josh you know as we speak right now
[TS]
00:19:59
◼
►
i have two different accounts with
[TS]
00:20:01
◼
►
comcast this is a show i could not have
[TS]
00:20:03
◼
►
done with you it two years ago because i
[TS]
00:20:05
◼
►
don't have xfinity yet I can't even tell
[TS]
00:20:07
◼
►
you how the fact that i now have exactly
[TS]
00:20:10
◼
►
the same fucking coaxial cable coming
[TS]
00:20:12
◼
►
into my house but now it's called
[TS]
00:20:14
◼
►
xfinity it's changed everything
[TS]
00:20:16
◼
►
so this man is copper its branded copper
[TS]
00:20:19
◼
►
i think i have xfinity to but how do you
[TS]
00:20:22
◼
►
tell if you have xfinity what is xfinity
[TS]
00:20:24
◼
►
you consider yourself to generally be a
[TS]
00:20:25
◼
►
happy and well-adjusted person
[TS]
00:20:27
◼
►
no fuck you you don't have xfinity
[TS]
00:20:29
◼
►
asshole up dammit i think i do have
[TS]
00:20:32
◼
►
expenditure you know what your fig
[TS]
00:20:33
◼
►
nooters loading too slowly i get things
[TS]
00:20:36
◼
►
in the mail all the time but say
[TS]
00:20:37
◼
►
expended I get constantly is gonna throw
[TS]
00:20:40
◼
►
them in the garbage are some of those
[TS]
00:20:41
◼
►
important you fucked up to ask another
[TS]
00:20:42
◼
►
question rap was the last time you felt
[TS]
00:20:44
◼
►
deep down in your gut you're laying
[TS]
00:20:46
◼
►
there trying to sleep the aliens are
[TS]
00:20:47
◼
►
knocking when's the last time you
[TS]
00:20:48
◼
►
thought a really profound sense of
[TS]
00:20:49
◼
►
hospitality on know what it was the last
[TS]
00:20:53
◼
►
time I felt a special hospitality and
[TS]
00:20:56
◼
►
deep in your heart you felt that
[TS]
00:20:57
◼
►
combination of hospitality and an
[TS]
00:20:59
◼
►
Italian food hospitality on oh you never
[TS]
00:21:01
◼
►
been to an olive garden
[TS]
00:21:02
◼
►
ah no well no that's not true i have
[TS]
00:21:05
◼
►
been to an olive like like dr. Seuss
[TS]
00:21:07
◼
►
books it ends and ends with an
[TS]
00:21:09
◼
►
unnecessary ! i'm not going to
[TS]
00:21:11
◼
►
demonstrate it
[TS]
00:21:12
◼
►
I've been to an olive garden and I've
[TS]
00:21:13
◼
►
also been to what's the other one the
[TS]
00:21:15
◼
►
one with the cheesecake factory I've
[TS]
00:21:17
◼
►
been to both of those are the sexist
[TS]
00:21:18
◼
►
cheesecake depository that that is a
[TS]
00:21:20
◼
►
farcical restaurant that India was one
[TS]
00:21:22
◼
►
load load purse but sit on what's my
[TS]
00:21:25
◼
►
claim jumpers i have i've never been to
[TS]
00:21:27
◼
►
claim jumpers but I went to the version
[TS]
00:21:29
◼
►
i went to an Outback Steakhouse because
[TS]
00:21:30
◼
►
i do not want to be living
[TS]
00:21:32
◼
►
I love an outback stick either this is
[TS]
00:21:33
◼
►
the same reason I started going on 4chan
[TS]
00:21:35
◼
►
I don't want to
[TS]
00:21:36
◼
►
living in a world brought don't
[TS]
00:21:37
◼
►
understand what people are talking about
[TS]
00:21:40
◼
►
ok John I'm gonna what I'm gonna write
[TS]
00:21:42
◼
►
down one word here to work i want to
[TS]
00:21:43
◼
►
write down our mall and I'd like you
[TS]
00:21:45
◼
►
asked me about it later i'm gonna put
[TS]
00:21:46
◼
►
aside i wanna they put a cheesecake
[TS]
00:21:48
◼
►
factory in the center of downtown
[TS]
00:21:50
◼
►
Seattle I it's an abortion its inviting
[TS]
00:21:53
◼
►
a board that's it was a lot there was a
[TS]
00:21:54
◼
►
line seriously alignment went around the
[TS]
00:21:56
◼
►
block for 3-4 weeks at a time and I was
[TS]
00:21:58
◼
►
like place must have the most fantastic
[TS]
00:22:01
◼
►
cheesecake in the world it could you
[TS]
00:22:03
◼
►
know why because the catchphrase for the
[TS]
00:22:05
◼
►
place should be $23 to show the world
[TS]
00:22:08
◼
►
why they're right you go in there and
[TS]
00:22:10
◼
►
it's a bunch of fucking selfish insane
[TS]
00:22:13
◼
►
diabetic fat ass
[TS]
00:22:14
◼
►
no offense fast American sitting down of
[TS]
00:22:17
◼
►
talk back in a minute
[TS]
00:22:19
◼
►
even giant giant giant portions of
[TS]
00:22:22
◼
►
really really unhealthy food that was
[TS]
00:22:24
◼
►
the first time first time I ever saw
[TS]
00:22:25
◼
►
bloomin onion which I don't think they
[TS]
00:22:27
◼
►
are a lot of that's a lot of fat that's
[TS]
00:22:29
◼
►
a lot of added value i think that's I
[TS]
00:22:31
◼
►
think that's a copyrighted phrase i
[TS]
00:22:33
◼
►
don't think i would absolutely is where
[TS]
00:22:35
◼
►
you can go in wikipedia entry on this I
[TS]
00:22:37
◼
►
think that we talked about this
[TS]
00:22:38
◼
►
yeah you talk about human conversation
[TS]
00:22:40
◼
►
I've ever had all you we talked about
[TS]
00:22:42
◼
►
this all about value added service you
[TS]
00:22:44
◼
►
don't sure reason you see all onion know
[TS]
00:22:46
◼
►
Blum you understand that all that
[TS]
00:22:48
◼
►
useless looters and the jalapeno popper
[TS]
00:22:50
◼
►
housing about a momentary poppers
[TS]
00:22:53
◼
►
ok i wish i can write this down real
[TS]
00:22:54
◼
►
quick hospitality honor because I want
[TS]
00:22:56
◼
►
to finish my thought here what happened
[TS]
00:22:57
◼
►
aliano is a trademark phrase employed by
[TS]
00:23:00
◼
►
the olive garden to make you feel like
[TS]
00:23:01
◼
►
you're having an esata you have to go to
[TS]
00:23:03
◼
►
Easter excited to look that up the
[TS]
00:23:04
◼
►
cylinder get rid of course you're not
[TS]
00:23:05
◼
►
taking it
[TS]
00:23:06
◼
►
ok so here's my thing hospital now and
[TS]
00:23:09
◼
►
our mall yellow ball
[TS]
00:23:12
◼
►
oh I got to say about the small buddy I
[TS]
00:23:14
◼
►
new ball oh god I i was madder than an
[TS]
00:23:17
◼
►
onanist in a bathtub this week i can
[TS]
00:23:19
◼
►
tell you about it i'm thinking of the
[TS]
00:23:21
◼
►
entire sunset area of san francisco
[TS]
00:23:23
◼
►
which is a very large part of the city
[TS]
00:23:25
◼
►
yes I can't think of a single mall in it
[TS]
00:23:26
◼
►
i think it was your got talent in be and
[TS]
00:23:33
◼
►
it was it not the pnw probably were
[TS]
00:23:36
◼
►
NIMBY was invented
[TS]
00:23:37
◼
►
it's a very popular i cannot send them
[TS]
00:23:40
◼
►
into up here
[TS]
00:23:41
◼
►
yes a little piggy Mary or at least it
[TS]
00:23:43
◼
►
was before people realized that being
[TS]
00:23:45
◼
►
called a NIMBY was exactly the same as
[TS]
00:23:48
◼
►
having the phrase for
[TS]
00:23:49
◼
►
first world problems shouted at you
[TS]
00:23:51
◼
►
myself but that has like that don't that
[TS]
00:23:54
◼
►
still has one of the songs a rat tail or
[TS]
00:23:57
◼
►
right I'm dreadlock first world problem
[TS]
00:24:00
◼
►
maybe it's it's it's the i just learned
[TS]
00:24:03
◼
►
about firstworldproblems I've register
[TS]
00:24:05
◼
►
know I read about it in the new york
[TS]
00:24:06
◼
►
times in my copy was a little wet
[TS]
00:24:09
◼
►
firstworldproblems you subscribe to the
[TS]
00:24:12
◼
►
new york times i have subscribed to
[TS]
00:24:14
◼
►
fucking death march i bought it for my
[TS]
00:24:16
◼
►
wife I feel here we got one another
[TS]
00:24:18
◼
►
these were in the stack me feel
[TS]
00:24:19
◼
►
obligated to read every word and so it
[TS]
00:24:22
◼
►
oscillates very costly it comes every
[TS]
00:24:24
◼
►
day and it takes three hours to read
[TS]
00:24:26
◼
►
even if even the thin ones if you if you
[TS]
00:24:29
◼
►
are obligated to read every word
[TS]
00:24:31
◼
►
how did so i would sit and just read
[TS]
00:24:33
◼
►
this thing was like oh this march
[TS]
00:24:35
◼
►
through history
[TS]
00:24:36
◼
►
well in fairness to the New York Times
[TS]
00:24:38
◼
►
who are idiots the the whoever was
[TS]
00:24:42
◼
►
delivering it somebody stealing our
[TS]
00:24:43
◼
►
paper basically everyday so even when we
[TS]
00:24:45
◼
►
doubt it down to just weekends we got it
[TS]
00:24:47
◼
►
maybe one out of three days someone's
[TS]
00:24:51
◼
►
feeling your paper I mean you have to go
[TS]
00:24:52
◼
►
up a long flight of stairs to get to
[TS]
00:24:54
◼
►
your door
[TS]
00:24:55
◼
►
don't be creepy if somewhere in the
[TS]
00:24:57
◼
►
thing is we asked them to make it go up
[TS]
00:24:59
◼
►
the stairs but they wouldn't do that and
[TS]
00:25:02
◼
►
so here's the thing now before that for
[TS]
00:25:04
◼
►
awhile i signed up for the introductory
[TS]
00:25:06
◼
►
offer we got the new york times every
[TS]
00:25:07
◼
►
day and we guilty SAT there and read the
[TS]
00:25:09
◼
►
equivalent of a short book everyday home
[TS]
00:25:11
◼
►
but here's the thing also I I this is
[TS]
00:25:13
◼
►
not interesting
[TS]
00:25:14
◼
►
I i got it under one of those special
[TS]
00:25:15
◼
►
deals and special video intellectual
[TS]
00:25:18
◼
►
deal in a way and i realized i was
[TS]
00:25:19
◼
►
spending spending 100 dollars a month on
[TS]
00:25:21
◼
►
a newspaper
[TS]
00:25:22
◼
►
mm and that just made me angry okay York
[TS]
00:25:24
◼
►
Times quick maybe oh man
[TS]
00:25:27
◼
►
John I'm 100 mall your mall I know what
[TS]
00:25:30
◼
►
I have something very deep in the stack
[TS]
00:25:32
◼
►
that's important
[TS]
00:25:33
◼
►
let's come back to the market that's a
[TS]
00:25:34
◼
►
long one hospitality on you know
[TS]
00:25:36
◼
►
hospitality know before they officially
[TS]
00:25:37
◼
►
put it on the menu
[TS]
00:25:39
◼
►
my friends and I knew about the
[TS]
00:25:40
◼
►
unlimited salad and breadsticks or six
[TS]
00:25:41
◼
►
dollars and you do not want a college
[TS]
00:25:44
◼
►
student you not want a group of ghee
[TS]
00:25:45
◼
►
college students high on coke refills
[TS]
00:25:47
◼
►
refills to know about the the salad
[TS]
00:25:50
◼
►
breadsticks that that's a waitron worst
[TS]
00:25:52
◼
►
nightmare
[TS]
00:25:53
◼
►
well but here's the things yeah that and
[TS]
00:25:55
◼
►
I'm gonna stay here is basically the
[TS]
00:25:57
◼
►
hospitality on until the day I die if
[TS]
00:26:00
◼
►
you want true hospitality on know if
[TS]
00:26:02
◼
►
you're in college and you
[TS]
00:26:03
◼
►
and your thing and and the idea of
[TS]
00:26:05
◼
►
unlimited salad bar breadsticks appeals
[TS]
00:26:07
◼
►
yes let me introduce you to the subway
[TS]
00:26:09
◼
►
meatball sandwich without many meatballs
[TS]
00:26:13
◼
►
I mean outside of medicine that was my
[TS]
00:26:16
◼
►
original go to subway but the price has
[TS]
00:26:17
◼
►
gone up but i don't think you can get
[TS]
00:26:19
◼
►
two meatball sandwiches for seven bucks
[TS]
00:26:21
◼
►
anymore it's for chili on it but you
[TS]
00:26:24
◼
►
made out of treatment it is you buy a
[TS]
00:26:27
◼
►
bunch of dividing a clutch of sandwiches
[TS]
00:26:29
◼
►
pretty often
[TS]
00:26:30
◼
►
early early on in the touring of the
[TS]
00:26:32
◼
►
touring life of the long winters there
[TS]
00:26:33
◼
►
was a joke among the other guys in the
[TS]
00:26:35
◼
►
band which was extra meat for a dollar
[TS]
00:26:37
◼
►
we sit down at the at the at the table
[TS]
00:26:40
◼
►
and I'd always be the last one to sit
[TS]
00:26:41
◼
►
down because I'm parking the van or
[TS]
00:26:43
◼
►
whatever and then I'd walk up to the
[TS]
00:26:44
◼
►
table they don't be looking at the menus
[TS]
00:26:46
◼
►
and they would have they would have
[TS]
00:26:48
◼
►
searched the menu to see if anywhere on
[TS]
00:26:50
◼
►
it says extra feature the color is
[TS]
00:26:53
◼
►
really like hey John guess what extra
[TS]
00:26:55
◼
►
meat for a dollar
[TS]
00:26:56
◼
►
well really extra meat for a dollar it's
[TS]
00:26:58
◼
►
the first time in three days you guys
[TS]
00:26:59
◼
►
had bonded double it up double it up
[TS]
00:27:01
◼
►
oh I know all I used to sit in the
[TS]
00:27:03
◼
►
bathtub bonito de Paul sandwiches what I
[TS]
00:27:07
◼
►
just a college and I would get super
[TS]
00:27:10
◼
►
baked and sit in a bathtub and not you
[TS]
00:27:12
◼
►
don't even need a napkin you just in the
[TS]
00:27:14
◼
►
bathtub you use the bathtub like other
[TS]
00:27:16
◼
►
people have friends meatballs covered in
[TS]
00:27:18
◼
►
meatballs and I was covered from my
[TS]
00:27:20
◼
►
eyebrows to my too many more efficient
[TS]
00:27:23
◼
►
what could be more efficient though if
[TS]
00:27:24
◼
►
you put like a little bit of a drain
[TS]
00:27:26
◼
►
catch in there like it's like a loose
[TS]
00:27:27
◼
►
screen like an archeologist would have
[TS]
00:27:29
◼
►
you're not gonna have a problem not a
[TS]
00:27:30
◼
►
problem
[TS]
00:27:31
◼
►
you get a little you get a little more
[TS]
00:27:32
◼
►
volley or meteor than you want hit the
[TS]
00:27:34
◼
►
shower boom start over hit reset hilltop
[TS]
00:27:36
◼
►
halfway up Sparky duty and just jerkin
[TS]
00:27:40
◼
►
just dressed like it just like the
[TS]
00:27:42
◼
►
ancient people because I feel like yes
[TS]
00:27:44
◼
►
ancient people when they ate when they
[TS]
00:27:46
◼
►
had a meal they were covered in sauce
[TS]
00:27:50
◼
►
that's part sauce a protective ancient
[TS]
00:27:54
◼
►
saws from from their eyebrows to their
[TS]
00:27:56
◼
►
knees they were covered in soft because
[TS]
00:27:58
◼
►
they had to get all the way inside the
[TS]
00:27:59
◼
►
bore right i mean i don't know if you
[TS]
00:28:02
◼
►
like it like it like warming look at on
[TS]
00:28:05
◼
►
what are you talking about
[TS]
00:28:06
◼
►
basically I one time many many years ago
[TS]
00:28:08
◼
►
we group of people and I went down went
[TS]
00:28:12
◼
►
down to the pike place market here where
[TS]
00:28:13
◼
►
they throw the fish
[TS]
00:28:14
◼
►
yep and we said to the body
[TS]
00:28:16
◼
►
by the original starbucks if memory
[TS]
00:28:18
◼
►
serves it just down the block
[TS]
00:28:19
◼
►
we went to the to the old-fashioned
[TS]
00:28:21
◼
►
butcher that is there at the pike place
[TS]
00:28:23
◼
►
market we said we want to goat
[TS]
00:28:25
◼
►
where-where-where hippies and we want to
[TS]
00:28:28
◼
►
hold goat we wanted to eat a whole go to
[TS]
00:28:30
◼
►
my guy said we don't have goat that
[TS]
00:28:33
◼
►
takes it takes me like like eight days
[TS]
00:28:35
◼
►
to get a goat has a special order
[TS]
00:28:37
◼
►
nobody eats goat in America he said but
[TS]
00:28:40
◼
►
I got it but i have a shy can get you a
[TS]
00:28:42
◼
►
sheep and we said all right we wanted to
[TS]
00:28:46
◼
►
goat but sergeant what the fuck kind of
[TS]
00:28:48
◼
►
responses that from a butcher
[TS]
00:28:51
◼
►
well it was nowadays i bet you go down
[TS]
00:28:54
◼
►
there and some guy with a tattoo on his
[TS]
00:28:56
◼
►
neck at a fauxhawk tells you oh what
[TS]
00:28:59
◼
►
kind of go do you wanna do on a you know
[TS]
00:29:02
◼
►
San Francisco go toward always mentions
[TS]
00:29:04
◼
►
you can go always mention used to being
[TS]
00:29:06
◼
►
a ska band
[TS]
00:29:07
◼
►
hey here they got they got goats they
[TS]
00:29:09
◼
►
got every kind of artisanal go you can
[TS]
00:29:10
◼
►
buy now but at the time this is 1993 or
[TS]
00:29:14
◼
►
something that they weren't just the one
[TS]
00:29:16
◼
►
throwing goats actually had yet to make
[TS]
00:29:19
◼
►
it a special and this guy was going to
[TS]
00:29:20
◼
►
get us a go but he was like there's a
[TS]
00:29:21
◼
►
day waiting period that would bring in
[TS]
00:29:24
◼
►
the tourist if they started throwing the
[TS]
00:29:25
◼
►
fucking that's it would and we were like
[TS]
00:29:28
◼
►
like all right we don't we wanted we
[TS]
00:29:31
◼
►
wanted today right i mean we didn't with
[TS]
00:29:33
◼
►
we were stoners we couldn't think eight
[TS]
00:29:35
◼
►
days in advance so he gives us the Sheep
[TS]
00:29:37
◼
►
an entire sheep and and we carted back
[TS]
00:29:41
◼
►
to this house and it was right in the
[TS]
00:29:42
◼
►
center of town I don't know what we were
[TS]
00:29:44
◼
►
thinking but we dug a pit in the
[TS]
00:29:45
◼
►
backyard and he filled it have any
[TS]
00:29:48
◼
►
experience with go cooking or she
[TS]
00:29:50
◼
►
thinking
[TS]
00:29:50
◼
►
none of us that was just you know that
[TS]
00:29:52
◼
►
the sum I think it was one of the girls
[TS]
00:29:54
◼
►
had this idea that we should eat a goat
[TS]
00:29:56
◼
►
and that off we went
[TS]
00:29:57
◼
►
you know and so we would take a pit in
[TS]
00:29:59
◼
►
the backyard we fill it with coals and
[TS]
00:30:02
◼
►
we wrap this entire goat in aluminum
[TS]
00:30:04
◼
►
foil we throw it in the pit we cover it
[TS]
00:30:06
◼
►
with dirt we sit there for the afternoon
[TS]
00:30:09
◼
►
his goat is underground
[TS]
00:30:11
◼
►
and back by mid-afternoon we did the
[TS]
00:30:14
◼
►
goat up and and it's a you know it kind
[TS]
00:30:18
◼
►
of catches on fire for a while because
[TS]
00:30:19
◼
►
because the fat one of the first super
[TS]
00:30:23
◼
►
easy don't think it just just kept just
[TS]
00:30:24
◼
►
caught right on one of the lanolin comes
[TS]
00:30:26
◼
►
from sleep well that's it that's exactly
[TS]
00:30:28
◼
►
right that's they come from the Sheep
[TS]
00:30:29
◼
►
although from the furry part right but
[TS]
00:30:32
◼
►
anyway so we get this goat out and and
[TS]
00:30:34
◼
►
we put out a grounder it's all covered
[TS]
00:30:36
◼
►
in in the in dirt and stuff where the
[TS]
00:30:38
◼
►
foil had fallen apart and everybody kind
[TS]
00:30:41
◼
►
of backs away from it because it's it's
[TS]
00:30:44
◼
►
a it's a whole it's this whole carcass
[TS]
00:30:47
◼
►
that's a that's now like black nobody
[TS]
00:30:51
◼
►
wants to come close to it and so
[TS]
00:30:53
◼
►
somebody somebody like well you know
[TS]
00:30:56
◼
►
who's gonna what do we do now kind of
[TS]
00:30:59
◼
►
thing and so I walk over to it and I
[TS]
00:31:02
◼
►
start to kind of poke at it and I said
[TS]
00:31:05
◼
►
give me some give me some plates give me
[TS]
00:31:06
◼
►
some trays you know and and I started to
[TS]
00:31:10
◼
►
take this sheep part a little bit by bit
[TS]
00:31:12
◼
►
and kind of find the meat and and and
[TS]
00:31:15
◼
►
separated and put it over on this train
[TS]
00:31:17
◼
►
pretty soon I'm covered in sheep sauce
[TS]
00:31:21
◼
►
like I'm up to my elbows in this sheep
[TS]
00:31:25
◼
►
and everybody stand around and enter and
[TS]
00:31:27
◼
►
everybody's kind of panting like and
[TS]
00:31:30
◼
►
there of course we're hippies right so
[TS]
00:31:32
◼
►
their dogs all around but there but the
[TS]
00:31:34
◼
►
well-trained dog so they're all kind of
[TS]
00:31:37
◼
►
like attentive standing there like huh
[TS]
00:31:39
◼
►
and and there's like we have a keg s and
[TS]
00:31:43
◼
►
people start showing up and i'm i'm in
[TS]
00:31:45
◼
►
this shape and point apart and pretty
[TS]
00:31:47
◼
►
soon I'm like taking big handfuls of
[TS]
00:31:49
◼
►
them eating while I'm one pulling the
[TS]
00:31:52
◼
►
Sheep apart and other people kind of
[TS]
00:31:53
◼
►
join in pretty soon everybody's up to
[TS]
00:31:56
◼
►
their elbows in this in this sheep and
[TS]
00:31:58
◼
►
we're all covered with grease and it was
[TS]
00:32:01
◼
►
the most back an alien experience of my
[TS]
00:32:05
◼
►
whole life pretty soon where this thing
[TS]
00:32:08
◼
►
that we were extremely timid about
[TS]
00:32:09
◼
►
approaching at first
[TS]
00:32:11
◼
►
we're just all diving into this thing
[TS]
00:32:14
◼
►
and by the end of it by the end of the
[TS]
00:32:17
◼
►
evening there was not a bit of that
[TS]
00:32:21
◼
►
sheep left the dogs had eaten all the
[TS]
00:32:24
◼
►
bones complete
[TS]
00:32:25
◼
►
the eaten them them we had devoured
[TS]
00:32:28
◼
►
people were licking the trains like we
[TS]
00:32:34
◼
►
we all has been hippies we are raging
[TS]
00:32:37
◼
►
boner like it was it was bonkers
[TS]
00:32:43
◼
►
I still think about that time whenever I
[TS]
00:32:45
◼
►
whenever I need a boat boost of
[TS]
00:32:46
◼
►
confidence whenever I gotta got my tie
[TS]
00:32:49
◼
►
on and i'm downtown i'm about to go see
[TS]
00:32:51
◼
►
some magistrate about some trumped-up
[TS]
00:32:53
◼
►
charges but you've got to try and keep
[TS]
00:32:55
◼
►
to try to keep me down so that my wisdom
[TS]
00:32:58
◼
►
isn't spread ya as I'm about to walk
[TS]
00:33:01
◼
►
into the magistrate's office i think
[TS]
00:33:02
◼
►
right right i was once covered in I was
[TS]
00:33:06
◼
►
once in sheep
[TS]
00:33:08
◼
►
I know what it's like i am a i'm a man
[TS]
00:33:11
◼
►
who da can devour ago you can beat that
[TS]
00:33:15
◼
►
rap see what I'm saying and that's an
[TS]
00:33:17
◼
►
experience I don't think a lot of people
[TS]
00:33:18
◼
►
have that but what I realize later was I
[TS]
00:33:21
◼
►
had a proto experience with a meatball
[TS]
00:33:24
◼
►
sandwich in a bathtub like I understood
[TS]
00:33:27
◼
►
that sense of being understood that
[TS]
00:33:29
◼
►
feeling being covered in sauce it's
[TS]
00:33:31
◼
►
actually your little Tim it's how I
[TS]
00:33:34
◼
►
approach that meatball Sammy said was a
[TS]
00:33:36
◼
►
community giving seven ok because most
[TS]
00:33:38
◼
►
people sit down at the table and they're
[TS]
00:33:40
◼
►
like I mean there's ppl sandwich without
[TS]
00:33:41
◼
►
getting dirty
[TS]
00:33:42
◼
►
oh well it was wrong know that sandwich
[TS]
00:33:44
◼
►
starts with shame and fear that sandwich
[TS]
00:33:46
◼
►
he starts thinking that this general
[TS]
00:33:48
◼
►
look ask you this you take a live animal
[TS]
00:33:51
◼
►
and throw it in a hot pot it makes a
[TS]
00:33:55
◼
►
little screaming noise which is actually
[TS]
00:33:56
◼
►
the flesh tearing working about
[TS]
00:33:57
◼
►
persevering away from the show you're
[TS]
00:33:59
◼
►
talking about a sea animal i'm talking
[TS]
00:34:00
◼
►
about a sea animal start/stop
[TS]
00:34:02
◼
►
black-and-gray you're not gonna throw
[TS]
00:34:03
◼
►
live mammal and upon step at a time when
[TS]
00:34:07
◼
►
the seven ok and what do they do in the
[TS]
00:34:10
◼
►
the vicious act of taking a live animal
[TS]
00:34:12
◼
►
the only way to have this animal you
[TS]
00:34:14
◼
►
really tasty is to have the water super
[TS]
00:34:16
◼
►
hot and the love your crab or lobster
[TS]
00:34:19
◼
►
the lobster be very very alive you throw
[TS]
00:34:22
◼
►
a lobster into boiling water and cook it
[TS]
00:34:25
◼
►
and then somebody take some butter from
[TS]
00:34:27
◼
►
a cow and heats it up and put it next to
[TS]
00:34:29
◼
►
you somebody takes a fucking lobster
[TS]
00:34:31
◼
►
that was alive a few minutes ago and put
[TS]
00:34:33
◼
►
it on your plate and what's the first
[TS]
00:34:34
◼
►
thing you do is look at napkin on you
[TS]
00:34:37
◼
►
put on a plastic bit
[TS]
00:34:38
◼
►
picture a drawing optimizer on it
[TS]
00:34:42
◼
►
yeah right that that's the point at
[TS]
00:34:44
◼
►
which you are divorced from your animal
[TS]
00:34:46
◼
►
nature will put a bib that's a meal that
[TS]
00:34:48
◼
►
begins with an apology and in your case
[TS]
00:34:50
◼
►
you're absolutely right you know the
[TS]
00:34:52
◼
►
lobster experience should be they put
[TS]
00:34:54
◼
►
that Lobster in front of you and you
[TS]
00:34:55
◼
►
take off your fucking shirt that's what
[TS]
00:34:58
◼
►
that's what that should be you should
[TS]
00:34:59
◼
►
take off your shirt and draw a lobster
[TS]
00:35:01
◼
►
on your chest you know that's how we'll
[TS]
00:35:04
◼
►
take the lobsters wife is still alive
[TS]
00:35:06
◼
►
attach it to your head with a rubber
[TS]
00:35:10
◼
►
so it's almost that laughs it's almost
[TS]
00:35:12
◼
►
like so we can see only know what I
[TS]
00:35:15
◼
►
don't know it's got to see you come on
[TS]
00:35:16
◼
►
this lobster lobster eyelids and ate
[TS]
00:35:18
◼
►
them with her husband sit there maybe
[TS]
00:35:21
◼
►
you take the baby lobsters and like
[TS]
00:35:23
◼
►
gaffer tape it to the top of the mama
[TS]
00:35:25
◼
►
you got kids bleacher seats and then you
[TS]
00:35:27
◼
►
fuck you fucking dig in
[TS]
00:35:29
◼
►
so you're covered with like a lobster
[TS]
00:35:30
◼
►
sauce lobster sauce that's it that's I
[TS]
00:35:33
◼
►
think that's a ping-pong thing I have to
[TS]
00:35:34
◼
►
go home I'll John now Cassie question
[TS]
00:35:37
◼
►
the arm that now the Sheep like I think
[TS]
00:35:40
◼
►
about how i like it we dined out you see
[TS]
00:35:42
◼
►
what are you a rare medium-rare coming
[TS]
00:35:44
◼
►
on your me America some medium rare oh
[TS]
00:35:46
◼
►
yeah like a rare if it's really burned
[TS]
00:35:48
◼
►
on the outside like a Pittsburgh style
[TS]
00:35:50
◼
►
that's kind of cheap ok that seems to
[TS]
00:35:52
◼
►
make that there's a place in a and
[TS]
00:35:54
◼
►
Alaska called the double muskie and it's
[TS]
00:35:56
◼
►
like it's it it's way out in the forest
[TS]
00:35:58
◼
►
but they they have something that like a
[TS]
00:36:00
◼
►
Michelin star or something because
[TS]
00:36:03
◼
►
because there is nobody knows how to
[TS]
00:36:04
◼
►
take it with me get these steaks that
[TS]
00:36:08
◼
►
are the size of rugby balls and the way
[TS]
00:36:11
◼
►
they cook them is they just they have a
[TS]
00:36:12
◼
►
fireplace like a big fire first look at
[TS]
00:36:14
◼
►
like baseball or a tomahawk know like a
[TS]
00:36:16
◼
►
like a like a rugby ball I mean that
[TS]
00:36:19
◼
►
so these are baseball steak yeah but i
[TS]
00:36:21
◼
►
had one in sun valley one time was so
[TS]
00:36:24
◼
►
stoned i couldn't finish it because
[TS]
00:36:26
◼
►
there's the other thing about being
[TS]
00:36:27
◼
►
stoned you get halfway into a steak and
[TS]
00:36:31
◼
►
you get super grossed out because you're
[TS]
00:36:33
◼
►
nice try sushi you're thinking about it
[TS]
00:36:36
◼
►
too much happening with sushi gets warm
[TS]
00:36:38
◼
►
i get really main mmm ok so anyway so
[TS]
00:36:41
◼
►
you are out there in the woods is always
[TS]
00:36:44
◼
►
making these huge stakes these gigantic
[TS]
00:36:46
◼
►
gorgeous takes they just throw them in a
[TS]
00:36:48
◼
►
fireplace and that gets you a Michelin
[TS]
00:36:51
◼
►
star ever
[TS]
00:36:52
◼
►
that move I've heard that called
[TS]
00:36:53
◼
►
Pittsburgh and have her call black and
[TS]
00:36:56
◼
►
I think it's a replica Pittsburgh is the
[TS]
00:36:57
◼
►
the origin of that sucks burg is when
[TS]
00:37:00
◼
►
you know what you're going to get
[TS]
00:37:01
◼
►
corrected by herself into Pittsburgh
[TS]
00:37:03
◼
►
know about from Ohio so I know enough
[TS]
00:37:05
◼
►
not to go there
[TS]
00:37:06
◼
►
Pittsburgh if you've been to Pittsburgh
[TS]
00:37:08
◼
►
that is an appropriate like the the burn
[TS]
00:37:10
◼
►
on the outside rare on the inside stake
[TS]
00:37:12
◼
►
is an appropriate metaphor for the city
[TS]
00:37:14
◼
►
can write that down Pittsburgh duh
[TS]
00:37:16
◼
►
don't overthink it my own bila ok no
[TS]
00:37:19
◼
►
actually don't tell me it's the Ohio the
[TS]
00:37:22
◼
►
I know this woman such a great word
[TS]
00:37:26
◼
►
there's three there's three
[TS]
00:37:27
◼
►
that's right rivers it's the name um
[TS]
00:37:29
◼
►
hang on it's the Allegheny oh hey
[TS]
00:37:33
◼
►
Allegheny the Ohio in the monk
[TS]
00:37:35
◼
►
Monongahela well be the alligator in the
[TS]
00:37:39
◼
►
Monongahela like go a beating like make
[TS]
00:37:44
◼
►
the Ohio so yes those are the three
[TS]
00:37:47
◼
►
rivers offers its neck i will not hear
[TS]
00:37:49
◼
►
any talk like that
[TS]
00:37:50
◼
►
let me ask you this real quick chop your
[TS]
00:37:51
◼
►
head don't think about a pittsburgh vs
[TS]
00:37:53
◼
►
Detroit which is worse
[TS]
00:37:54
◼
►
detroit right Detroit's a thousand times
[TS]
00:37:56
◼
►
workspace / Pittsburgh is anyone really
[TS]
00:37:58
◼
►
bad anymore they tore down all the
[TS]
00:38:00
◼
►
abandoned factories in pittsburgh and
[TS]
00:38:02
◼
►
replace them with predictable like malls
[TS]
00:38:07
◼
►
and baseball stadium cheesecake
[TS]
00:38:08
◼
►
factory's but when you first when i
[TS]
00:38:10
◼
►
first went to Pittsburgh back in the
[TS]
00:38:11
◼
►
eighties holy moly you don't want
[TS]
00:38:14
◼
►
anyways that was really when the whole
[TS]
00:38:15
◼
►
rustbelt they're still struggling to get
[TS]
00:38:17
◼
►
away from the Rust Belt like well they
[TS]
00:38:18
◼
►
were closer and all effector is down and
[TS]
00:38:22
◼
►
the Union people something how I thought
[TS]
00:38:28
◼
►
that was that was that was a nylon
[TS]
00:38:31
◼
►
curtain we just had a bunch of fucking
[TS]
00:38:32
◼
►
fake Bruce Springsteen songs here the
[TS]
00:38:35
◼
►
animal all go down together that's
[TS]
00:38:37
◼
►
different is that that's not allentown
[TS]
00:38:39
◼
►
that's a goodnight Saigon hello hello
[TS]
00:38:41
◼
►
hanoi what's that cult there was there
[TS]
00:38:43
◼
►
was a certain point in the psychological
[TS]
00:38:45
◼
►
a certain point in the Canon of Billy
[TS]
00:38:47
◼
►
Joel yeah which I like to man that can
[TS]
00:38:51
◼
►
but which I locate somewhere around the
[TS]
00:38:54
◼
►
first note that Billy Joel ever saying
[TS]
00:38:56
◼
►
where I started that is so just if that
[TS]
00:38:59
◼
►
it's really terrible like a light John
[TS]
00:39:02
◼
►
I'm still stinging over the kiss thing
[TS]
00:39:03
◼
►
but you know what I'm not gonna take
[TS]
00:39:05
◼
►
that would be
[TS]
00:39:05
◼
►
show you know what their you maybe you
[TS]
00:39:07
◼
►
could say stranger you want to say
[TS]
00:39:09
◼
►
glasshouses fine you know that's fine
[TS]
00:39:12
◼
►
you know I'm just saying you want to
[TS]
00:39:13
◼
►
model the red a bottle of wine offer
[TS]
00:39:16
◼
►
later but they can't because the mood
[TS]
00:39:20
◼
►
tonight you tell me you like piano man
[TS]
00:39:22
◼
►
all I do not
[TS]
00:39:24
◼
►
it's a white piano man at all i don't
[TS]
00:39:27
◼
►
like pni at all i think that's what you
[TS]
00:39:30
◼
►
don't like the last verse of that song
[TS]
00:39:32
◼
►
that doesn't sound like a cut you like
[TS]
00:39:36
◼
►
this isn't the piano man is a perfect
[TS]
00:39:38
◼
►
example of how the American listening
[TS]
00:39:42
◼
►
public has no clothes
[TS]
00:39:44
◼
►
oh Jesus a people respond to this guy
[TS]
00:39:47
◼
►
sitting up there with his horseshit
[TS]
00:39:50
◼
►
story and they're like mom yours
[TS]
00:39:54
◼
►
so you're so fucking dead inside but
[TS]
00:39:59
◼
►
that said I think allentown is a
[TS]
00:40:01
◼
►
kick-ass jam you know what it is if even
[TS]
00:40:04
◼
►
if it had different words i think you
[TS]
00:40:06
◼
►
know what's weird about billy joel is I
[TS]
00:40:08
◼
►
think some of his strongest songs like
[TS]
00:40:10
◼
►
Halle notes are mid-tempo numbers i
[TS]
00:40:13
◼
►
think america is afraid of a good
[TS]
00:40:15
◼
►
mid-tempo song i loved holla notes
[TS]
00:40:17
◼
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oh well think about how no no no no
[TS]
00:40:22
◼
►
yeah what is that what song is that it's
[TS]
00:40:25
◼
►
a president of those holiday songs
[TS]
00:40:28
◼
►
private oh by the way I've been told by
[TS]
00:40:30
◼
►
numerous people including my friend dr.
[TS]
00:40:31
◼
►
Donald Schaffner that when you sing the
[TS]
00:40:33
◼
►
Janet Jackson version of my name sing it
[TS]
00:40:35
◼
►
Merlin Mann they're watching you
[TS]
00:40:39
◼
►
sorry I did that did that probably a
[TS]
00:40:43
◼
►
little bit court while probably it as
[TS]
00:40:45
◼
►
that's interesting try Tracy unisex and
[TS]
00:40:47
◼
►
fight into the Santa to privatize Merlin
[TS]
00:40:51
◼
►
Mann is one you missed it you missed a
[TS]
00:40:53
◼
►
little you missed a little Sandow melon
[TS]
00:40:56
◼
►
man okay we'll have to my gosh on three
[TS]
00:41:03
◼
►
babe it i have that I think the reason
[TS]
00:41:06
◼
►
that allentown is such a great Jam is it
[TS]
00:41:08
◼
►
uses that same shake like faking
[TS]
00:41:12
◼
►
synthesizing flake and sound well you
[TS]
00:41:14
◼
►
know that I think in allentown it's
[TS]
00:41:16
◼
►
meant to symbolize the
[TS]
00:41:18
◼
►
the sledge hammer hitting the yeah yeah
[TS]
00:41:22
◼
►
yeahs think it's or whatever but that's
[TS]
00:41:24
◼
►
the same exact sound that is in ZZ Top's
[TS]
00:41:27
◼
►
sleeping bag which is which is the last
[TS]
00:41:32
◼
►
goodnight this is that the sleeper on
[TS]
00:41:34
◼
►
what's called a destroyer destroy rock
[TS]
00:41:37
◼
►
and roll over within the exterminator
[TS]
00:41:39
◼
►
it's a one-note see the the record after
[TS]
00:41:41
◼
►
eliminating one of the master records of
[TS]
00:41:43
◼
►
the eighties and the record after that
[TS]
00:41:45
◼
►
after they became cartoons & got more
[TS]
00:41:48
◼
►
like the synthesizers work i keep
[TS]
00:41:50
◼
►
interrupting I'm sorry it was
[TS]
00:41:51
◼
►
synthesized really worked and what you
[TS]
00:41:53
◼
►
said you've written about this that's
[TS]
00:41:54
◼
►
your favorite for you
[TS]
00:41:55
◼
►
actually what was that NPR you are
[TS]
00:41:57
◼
►
somewhere talking about eliminator I
[TS]
00:41:59
◼
►
keep trying to myself what you talking
[TS]
00:42:00
◼
►
about that talk about it everywhere your
[TS]
00:42:02
◼
►
you if you if you ever waited for a bus
[TS]
00:42:05
◼
►
in seattle just at some point we've had
[TS]
00:42:07
◼
►
this conversation because I go up to
[TS]
00:42:08
◼
►
people at bus stops and I say listen
[TS]
00:42:10
◼
►
have you ever really listened to
[TS]
00:42:11
◼
►
eliminate or now I know it's
[TS]
00:42:13
◼
►
non-canonical I know you're supposed to
[TS]
00:42:14
◼
►
only like the the you know tres hombres
[TS]
00:42:18
◼
►
era of ZZ top but I swear to you
[TS]
00:42:20
◼
►
eliminator is a is a subscriber you on
[TS]
00:42:24
◼
►
the crackpot Jesse thorn thing he
[TS]
00:42:26
◼
►
described extremely well I think you as
[TS]
00:42:28
◼
►
well as you can articulate and it's not
[TS]
00:42:30
◼
►
really that good
[TS]
00:42:31
◼
►
I think you made a really good case for
[TS]
00:42:32
◼
►
it but here's the problem after problem
[TS]
00:42:34
◼
►
the record that came right after
[TS]
00:42:36
◼
►
eliminator and you used all the same
[TS]
00:42:38
◼
►
formula afterburner was just uh it was
[TS]
00:42:42
◼
►
just a steaming plate of horseshit
[TS]
00:42:45
◼
►
terrible didn't take the synthesizer
[TS]
00:42:48
◼
►
because the synthesizer part of what
[TS]
00:42:49
◼
►
really makes that the previous record
[TS]
00:42:50
◼
►
work they did they kind of over do it
[TS]
00:42:52
◼
►
justice either i was that it was the
[TS]
00:42:54
◼
►
since onyx drums it was all that was all
[TS]
00:42:57
◼
►
the fake sounds the problem with
[TS]
00:42:58
◼
►
afterburners that they forgot that that
[TS]
00:43:00
◼
►
that there needs to be a long guitar
[TS]
00:43:02
◼
►
solo in the center of every tune
[TS]
00:43:03
◼
►
treatment you can it was easy top tune
[TS]
00:43:06
◼
►
and not have it
[TS]
00:43:07
◼
►
this is the thing ACDC never forgot come
[TS]
00:43:10
◼
►
to the solo
[TS]
00:43:11
◼
►
mhm you modulate up a half a step and
[TS]
00:43:15
◼
►
you and the center of the tune has to be
[TS]
00:43:17
◼
►
a guitar solo that's awesome that's an
[TS]
00:43:19
◼
►
awesome tricky underused using half-step
[TS]
00:43:22
◼
►
recently etf you EDF and any you don't
[TS]
00:43:26
◼
►
it's not a thing where it's not a thing
[TS]
00:43:27
◼
►
where you sing the chorus again
[TS]
00:43:29
◼
►
half-assed right now the structures
[TS]
00:43:30
◼
►
change which a modulator
[TS]
00:43:32
◼
►
for the guitar solo and then you come
[TS]
00:43:34
◼
►
back down and no one even notices that
[TS]
00:43:36
◼
►
happened but it makes you are so not
[TS]
00:43:38
◼
►
fresh is everything we don't also like I
[TS]
00:43:40
◼
►
like yeah my band do this on a couple on
[TS]
00:43:42
◼
►
the EEG they can all right I'm gonna
[TS]
00:43:46
◼
►
write that down and come back to
[TS]
00:43:47
◼
►
something very important that happen
[TS]
00:43:48
◼
►
I've been seeing bacon right a lot
[TS]
00:43:50
◼
►
lately okay why i say you want somebody
[TS]
00:43:52
◼
►
remastered are our bar good record for
[TS]
00:43:55
◼
►
somebody but using the technology that
[TS]
00:43:57
◼
►
we did not have an extra 90 remaster
[TS]
00:43:59
◼
►
record and it's completely different
[TS]
00:44:01
◼
►
make you listen to country music
[TS]
00:44:03
◼
►
you did it like pro bono or he did it he
[TS]
00:44:05
◼
►
has a friend of ours who like you know
[TS]
00:44:06
◼
►
it's like friends with Tom shower and
[TS]
00:44:08
◼
►
stuff he's a really good producer in
[TS]
00:44:09
◼
►
florida of all places and he is has the
[TS]
00:44:12
◼
►
ability
[TS]
00:44:13
◼
►
jon is it possible to go into stuff like
[TS]
00:44:15
◼
►
he added separation to the drums
[TS]
00:44:18
◼
►
it's crazy he must have liked the
[TS]
00:44:19
◼
►
equalizer from Hell example anyway this
[TS]
00:44:22
◼
►
is a boring wasn't say tejas lagrange
[TS]
00:44:25
◼
►
ZZTop synthesizers god damn it hold it
[TS]
00:44:30
◼
►
hold it don't ya we'll find out that
[TS]
00:44:35
◼
►
Shawn Nelson was the one that pointed
[TS]
00:44:36
◼
►
this out to me that is a peso piece that
[TS]
00:44:38
◼
►
there's a there's a kind of southern
[TS]
00:44:40
◼
►
accent that ZZ top resorts to sometimes
[TS]
00:44:43
◼
►
but also be CRO ccr ccr does it and and
[TS]
00:44:48
◼
►
and jackie gleason as the sheriff in in
[TS]
00:44:53
◼
►
Smokey and the Bandit also had it where
[TS]
00:44:56
◼
►
the southern accent takes on characters
[TS]
00:44:58
◼
►
of a kind of Queens Bronx accent hey did
[TS]
00:45:03
◼
►
I grapevine
[TS]
00:45:05
◼
►
yeah I heard it through the grapevine
[TS]
00:45:06
◼
►
like we're what where those two accents
[TS]
00:45:09
◼
►
both both come up with the the herd to
[TS]
00:45:13
◼
►
hoid well you you'll remember a few
[TS]
00:45:16
◼
►
episodes ago when i was doing haha i
[TS]
00:45:20
◼
►
think it comes from i think it comes
[TS]
00:45:22
◼
►
from would that be that that's the one
[TS]
00:45:24
◼
►
that doesn't Charlie Patton is not some
[TS]
00:45:26
◼
►
house what is it that's it doesn't it's
[TS]
00:45:28
◼
►
not exactly Chicago what would you call
[TS]
00:45:29
◼
►
that when you do the you know not back
[TS]
00:45:32
◼
►
to the product but when you do that what
[TS]
00:45:33
◼
►
style is that Delta that's not really
[TS]
00:45:35
◼
►
dealt around
[TS]
00:45:37
◼
►
but I think that's that kind of leg I
[TS]
00:45:40
◼
►
think that's where that comes from
[TS]
00:45:41
◼
►
I think it comes from some kind of not
[TS]
00:45:42
◼
►
quite Robert Johnson Arab lose but not
[TS]
00:45:45
◼
►
quite Chicago blues you know saying but
[TS]
00:45:49
◼
►
before the before the musical aspect
[TS]
00:45:51
◼
►
evidence the way people actually talked
[TS]
00:45:54
◼
►
oh yeah it sounds a lot like I like the
[TS]
00:45:56
◼
►
way people sound in backing up and get
[TS]
00:46:19
◼
►
back in the fucking man i got the blues
[TS]
00:46:21
◼
►
are you do have the blue got this I got
[TS]
00:46:23
◼
►
the blues from my baby by the simple
[TS]
00:46:24
◼
►
francisco bay i have the blue so bad
[TS]
00:46:27
◼
►
that I that I forgot to play the blues
[TS]
00:46:28
◼
►
and if that doesn't give a person the
[TS]
00:46:31
◼
►
blue you know what I screw up sometimes
[TS]
00:46:32
◼
►
can tell you what I do this is so
[TS]
00:46:34
◼
►
embarrassing this is worse than
[TS]
00:46:35
◼
►
masturbating on a sandwich in a bathtub
[TS]
00:46:37
◼
►
sometimes usually they're sometimes
[TS]
00:46:39
◼
►
accidentally yeah and it's not i'm not
[TS]
00:46:43
◼
►
trying to do some twelve-tone thing your
[TS]
00:46:44
◼
►
son's I actually that accidentally do 10
[TS]
00:46:47
◼
►
bar blues or 14 bar please
[TS]
00:46:49
◼
►
what's wrong with that well I don't
[TS]
00:46:51
◼
►
think that's right the there's no right
[TS]
00:46:53
◼
►
in blues huh
[TS]
00:46:56
◼
►
I mean I'm sorry there's no wrong and
[TS]
00:46:57
◼
►
blues there's no wrong and blue like
[TS]
00:47:00
◼
►
it's ping-pong talk right now there's no
[TS]
00:47:02
◼
►
wrong and blues and just like there's no
[TS]
00:47:04
◼
►
wrong in jazz I think it's funny that is
[TS]
00:47:06
◼
►
such a misconception about jazz is if
[TS]
00:47:09
◼
►
you if you play a wrong note you just
[TS]
00:47:10
◼
►
play it three more times and it's it's a
[TS]
00:47:12
◼
►
motif can't lose and I don't you know
[TS]
00:47:15
◼
►
what I think throw anything in a blue so
[TS]
00:47:17
◼
►
i think that works for monk and i think
[TS]
00:47:18
◼
►
that works from Miles Davis i think most
[TS]
00:47:20
◼
►
people just aren't practicing enough the
[TS]
00:47:21
◼
►
other people you get you kicked out like
[TS]
00:47:22
◼
►
Chet Baker i think most people there you
[TS]
00:47:25
◼
►
know there's a lot of tremendously badge
[TS]
00:47:27
◼
►
as they're all john-john Roderick oh
[TS]
00:47:30
◼
►
there I need a much much bigger card
[TS]
00:47:32
◼
►
attached as I got such a problem patch
[TS]
00:47:34
◼
►
as you can do you know my dad's my dad's
[TS]
00:47:36
◼
►
a premise about jazz
[TS]
00:47:38
◼
►
I don't he is to say when do it with
[TS]
00:47:44
◼
►
their stop being eight saxophones and
[TS]
00:47:46
◼
►
there was only one guy soloing the whole
[TS]
00:47:48
◼
►
time that's not chance that
[TS]
00:47:50
◼
►
just everybody sold at the everybody
[TS]
00:47:52
◼
►
souls that one's my dad stopped
[TS]
00:47:55
◼
►
listening to music in nineteen or stop
[TS]
00:47:56
◼
►
listening to new music in 1950 smart as
[TS]
00:48:00
◼
►
a pretty decent ride this is the Collin
[TS]
00:48:02
◼
►
I got trad jazz
[TS]
00:48:03
◼
►
well he wouldn't even call it that it
[TS]
00:48:05
◼
►
was big band jazz
[TS]
00:48:07
◼
►
yeah what he listened to the day died
[TS]
00:48:09
◼
►
all big band can be fun and listen to us
[TS]
00:48:11
◼
►
with the passion I mean it's not like he
[TS]
00:48:14
◼
►
yeah he didn't he didn't like his
[TS]
00:48:17
◼
►
appreciation of music and trail off he
[TS]
00:48:19
◼
►
just listened to the same Benny Goodman
[TS]
00:48:22
◼
►
records really out Basie and Duke
[TS]
00:48:25
◼
►
Ellington and and you know he listened
[TS]
00:48:28
◼
►
to him and he had friends that I mean
[TS]
00:48:30
◼
►
they they they traded tapes these guys
[TS]
00:48:33
◼
►
was he born in what like late twenties
[TS]
00:48:35
◼
►
early thirties early early twenties
[TS]
00:48:37
◼
►
19-21 you have got to be kidding me he
[TS]
00:48:40
◼
►
had a friend that owned a record store
[TS]
00:48:41
◼
►
he was 45 when you're born
[TS]
00:48:45
◼
►
yeah oh my god but he and his friend
[TS]
00:48:49
◼
►
would make him
[TS]
00:48:50
◼
►
8tracks of these I like he would
[TS]
00:48:56
◼
►
discover these live cuts are these these
[TS]
00:48:59
◼
►
a these kind of seaside or not be side
[TS]
00:49:03
◼
►
but like unreleased tracks that these
[TS]
00:49:06
◼
►
guys would they cut it cut it to maybe
[TS]
00:49:08
◼
►
like I think we got a better one but
[TS]
00:49:10
◼
►
somehow the the original cut would
[TS]
00:49:12
◼
►
survive and he would put these on these
[TS]
00:49:13
◼
►
these eight tracks we had all these
[TS]
00:49:15
◼
►
eight tracks that happens most the
[TS]
00:49:16
◼
►
Elevens most best-known record is like
[TS]
00:49:18
◼
►
three takes of each side right like what
[TS]
00:49:22
◼
►
is it was called such a scoring scoring
[TS]
00:49:24
◼
►
h in the village what's called see that
[TS]
00:49:27
◼
►
relationship sure jazz that's a
[TS]
00:49:29
◼
►
preventive start round 11 seeing you had
[TS]
00:49:31
◼
►
problems but I think you're totally
[TS]
00:49:32
◼
►
right and you know what I think long
[TS]
00:49:34
◼
►
before the grateful dead in the fish i
[TS]
00:49:35
◼
►
think there were people especially I
[TS]
00:49:37
◼
►
think that's being the real to real
[TS]
00:49:39
◼
►
I remember when you first could record
[TS]
00:49:40
◼
►
on the eight tracks but I think at that
[TS]
00:49:41
◼
►
time some people look down their nose
[TS]
00:49:44
◼
►
this you know i don't know a lot of
[TS]
00:49:45
◼
►
people like this but you know my parents
[TS]
00:49:47
◼
►
friends who are really into that kind of
[TS]
00:49:49
◼
►
music and where the guy that had a whole
[TS]
00:49:52
◼
►
wall of reals
[TS]
00:49:53
◼
►
yeah well know those people and their
[TS]
00:49:55
◼
►
people to this day probably can but John
[TS]
00:49:56
◼
►
Vanderslice slide into that at some
[TS]
00:49:57
◼
►
point probably just think all you think
[TS]
00:50:00
◼
►
he said in that direction where is audio
[TS]
00:50:03
◼
►
philly actin up when he needs to
[TS]
00:50:04
◼
►
he needs to get all his music on
[TS]
00:50:06
◼
►
reel-to-reel yeah that's that's a real
[TS]
00:50:10
◼
►
commitment even at the time it was a
[TS]
00:50:12
◼
►
real commitment but i reckon he's a shy
[TS]
00:50:15
◼
►
because of the guys with the Macintosh
[TS]
00:50:17
◼
►
stereo was never if my dad had four
[TS]
00:50:21
◼
►
hundred dollars
[TS]
00:50:22
◼
►
yeah and he was looking at a Macintosh
[TS]
00:50:24
◼
►
receiver that was four hundred dollars
[TS]
00:50:26
◼
►
mcintosh the cost of stereo the costly
[TS]
00:50:29
◼
►
staring again not mcintosh the later
[TS]
00:50:31
◼
►
computer he was looking at him at a four
[TS]
00:50:35
◼
►
dollar store he had four dollars and 400
[TS]
00:50:37
◼
►
other stereo or door number 2 a.a an
[TS]
00:50:43
◼
►
Apple crate with ten forty dollar
[TS]
00:50:48
◼
►
stereos and it's my dad would absolutely
[TS]
00:50:51
◼
►
by the Apple crate and think he had
[TS]
00:50:54
◼
►
gotten a hell of a deal easier but these
[TS]
00:50:56
◼
►
from a certain time they would come in
[TS]
00:50:57
◼
►
and be like look at all these stereos I
[TS]
00:50:59
◼
►
got and I would pick through and I'd be
[TS]
00:51:01
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like that this is all garbage
[TS]
00:51:03
◼
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he's like what are you talking about i
[TS]
00:51:04
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got 10 of them and then there'd be these
[TS]
00:51:06
◼
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like little shit stereos all over the
[TS]
00:51:09
◼
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well you know all of them sounded like
[TS]
00:51:11
◼
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you're listening to music through a
[TS]
00:51:12
◼
►
phone dead like it's great i got 10 of
[TS]
00:51:15
◼
►
these I everything our family ever got
[TS]
00:51:18
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are there is no one wider than our
[TS]
00:51:19
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family and everything that they got came
[TS]
00:51:21
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for some kind of special offer i'm
[TS]
00:51:24
◼
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pretty sure like everything we got
[TS]
00:51:25
◼
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started with like S&H Green Stamps for
[TS]
00:51:28
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joining Columbia House we didn't have
[TS]
00:51:30
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green stamps on the west coast or at
[TS]
00:51:32
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least I never saw one there's two kinds
[TS]
00:51:34
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they they battled they were like the
[TS]
00:51:36
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pennies and sears there's like S&H Green
[TS]
00:51:38
◼
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Stamps and there's another 1i don't have
[TS]
00:51:41
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smh is part of the problem you know what
[TS]
00:51:42
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►
I just a very very important story that
[TS]
00:51:44
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i have to tell you at some point about
[TS]
00:51:46
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the day I got somebody else's package
[TS]
00:51:48
◼
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from Columbia House it changed
[TS]
00:51:50
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everything
[TS]
00:51:51
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oh my goodness they ordered some talking
[TS]
00:51:53
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heads records or something
[TS]
00:51:54
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well you're not gonna love this because
[TS]
00:51:56
◼
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i know you don't love all these but ok
[TS]
00:51:57
◼
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what was in somebody else's was in quote
[TS]
00:52:01
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somebody else's columbia records package
[TS]
00:52:03
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or you know this is a huge rack and i
[TS]
00:52:04
◼
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just read about this one guy that had
[TS]
00:52:07
◼
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not like a thousand times signed up yet
[TS]
00:52:09
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fake pio boxes but we got the 10 records
[TS]
00:52:12
◼
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for a penny and then under she sailed
[TS]
00:52:15
◼
►
trying I'm trying to get units this week
[TS]
00:52:16
◼
►
I've been busy with the stuff but there
[TS]
00:52:18
◼
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was a wonderful article about the
[TS]
00:52:20
◼
►
decline of Columbia House and not enough
[TS]
00:52:22
◼
►
because ripping them off
[TS]
00:52:24
◼
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well that's part of it but it's also
[TS]
00:52:25
◼
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just the change in you know everything
[TS]
00:52:27
◼
►
you know what they were going through
[TS]
00:52:29
◼
►
the change
[TS]
00:52:29
◼
►
yeah yeah they did them in the monarchy
[TS]
00:52:31
◼
►
of music that's really good
[TS]
00:52:34
◼
►
so what was in this work that is good i
[TS]
00:52:37
◼
►
probably man and that was really good
[TS]
00:52:39
◼
►
tell me about what was in that record
[TS]
00:52:41
◼
►
package for people are just tuning in
[TS]
00:52:43
◼
►
like to do a really quick review of all
[TS]
00:52:44
◼
►
the things that we haven't gotten to
[TS]
00:52:46
◼
►
talk about just the ones I can you break
[TS]
00:52:47
◼
►
it down
[TS]
00:52:48
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►
you ready yeah this is just this is just
[TS]
00:52:50
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the ones i caught ephedrine and mucinex
[TS]
00:52:51
◼
►
being oh yeah oh I need to talk about
[TS]
00:52:53
◼
►
both of those I know John this is the
[TS]
00:52:55
◼
►
problem is what we need to move to a
[TS]
00:52:56
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daily format being famous before 27 the
[TS]
00:53:00
◼
►
tertiary problem of greatness
[TS]
00:53:02
◼
►
hospitality on o our mall NIMBY and why
[TS]
00:53:05
◼
►
it's your fault why hit the new york
[TS]
00:53:07
◼
►
times that my three favorite kinds of
[TS]
00:53:09
◼
►
Subway sandwiches extra meat for a
[TS]
00:53:10
◼
►
dollar throwing fish and or goats the
[TS]
00:53:12
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double musky what is the difference
[TS]
00:53:14
◼
►
penis sheep and a goat a friend you have
[TS]
00:53:16
◼
►
that makes whole animal meals as a
[TS]
00:53:18
◼
►
business that's vs detroit and I want
[TS]
00:53:20
◼
►
you to talk about Detroit you don't like
[TS]
00:53:21
◼
►
the piano man what my to my really what
[TS]
00:53:25
◼
►
we have talked with us making my to
[TS]
00:53:26
◼
►
karaoke song I want to talk about just
[TS]
00:53:28
◼
►
don't worry karaoke and we'll talk about
[TS]
00:53:30
◼
►
Jesse thorn how my question is does get
[TS]
00:53:32
◼
►
the end it was your question did you get
[TS]
00:53:35
◼
►
to the end of the list was only just
[TS]
00:53:36
◼
►
said a minute ago I will talk about
[TS]
00:53:38
◼
►
Detroit say so much as 40 i will talk
[TS]
00:53:41
◼
►
about Jesse thorns yeah all different
[TS]
00:53:43
◼
►
show the disability Givens play with the
[TS]
00:53:45
◼
►
peso mcintosh purchase macintosh and
[TS]
00:53:49
◼
►
fair lights my to idea of the most
[TS]
00:53:50
◼
►
expensive things in the world in
[TS]
00:53:52
◼
►
Columbia House did you know that one of
[TS]
00:53:56
◼
►
the first record I ever bought ways that
[TS]
00:53:57
◼
►
we go was the 8-track of studio 50
[TS]
00:54:01
◼
►
greatest hits of studio 54
[TS]
00:54:02
◼
►
I love disco that was I got that off the
[TS]
00:54:05
◼
►
television what era we talk about 77 77
[TS]
00:54:08
◼
►
yeah I was it was one of those like get
[TS]
00:54:10
◼
►
it now we're going to studio 54 on
[TS]
00:54:13
◼
►
8-track cassette I had so many things
[TS]
00:54:16
◼
►
like you know I have went from Keitel
[TS]
00:54:17
◼
►
called solid gold
[TS]
00:54:18
◼
►
it still has like some of my favorite
[TS]
00:54:20
◼
►
it's got like renegade my record doctor
[TS]
00:54:23
◼
►
give me the news maybe god oh my god oh
[TS]
00:54:27
◼
►
bad guys loving you had any track of a
[TS]
00:54:31
◼
►
surprise silly Joel didn't write that
[TS]
00:54:32
◼
►
and it with that like overdone vibrato
[TS]
00:54:36
◼
►
oppado matter never double would it
[TS]
00:54:41
◼
►
sound so much like born to be wild
[TS]
00:54:43
◼
►
Oh John that's hard like not all fake
[TS]
00:54:47
◼
►
working guy thing even if even if you
[TS]
00:54:50
◼
►
mean Billy Joel began talking about
[TS]
00:54:52
◼
►
Bruce Springsteen's I made me a little
[TS]
00:54:53
◼
►
mad i'm going to talk about Brewster
[TS]
00:54:55
◼
►
it's not that rich he's not i don't
[TS]
00:54:57
◼
►
think he's a I don't think I think he's
[TS]
00:54:59
◼
►
protecting it's pretty fucking rich
[TS]
00:55:00
◼
►
yeah oh he's rich are you kidding me
[TS]
00:55:03
◼
►
he can't he can't eat anything he wants
[TS]
00:55:05
◼
►
in anybody's bathtub Bruce Springsteen
[TS]
00:55:08
◼
►
rides a llama out to the mailbox in the
[TS]
00:55:11
◼
►
corner like i did a giant novelty-sized
[TS]
00:55:15
◼
►
mailbox the whole do giant novelty-sized
[TS]
00:55:17
◼
►
checks he has a got actually he has a
[TS]
00:55:19
◼
►
whole bunch of little people who ride
[TS]
00:55:21
◼
►
llamas around his estate on its behalf
[TS]
00:55:24
◼
►
so I'll just like him
[TS]
00:55:26
◼
►
it's like that island of dr. Moreau know
[TS]
00:55:31
◼
►
he has a he has he has ostriches roaming
[TS]
00:55:34
◼
►
his whole estates and and they had
[TS]
00:55:36
◼
►
people riding them joust in each other
[TS]
00:55:39
◼
►
where's that video games like I love the
[TS]
00:55:41
◼
►
video game just I want to buy my 25
[TS]
00:55:45
◼
►
oxygens I want to see it
[TS]
00:55:47
◼
►
I want to see it in real life imagine
[TS]
00:55:49
◼
►
the horror of going to Bruce Springsteen
[TS]
00:55:51
◼
►
estate and it's all real life video
[TS]
00:55:53
◼
►
games and you're like holy shit he goes
[TS]
00:55:55
◼
►
yes you might question remember a little
[TS]
00:55:57
◼
►
game called burger time and really
[TS]
00:55:59
◼
►
should go
[TS]
00:56:00
◼
►
did you call me an ostrich like big dog
[TS]
00:56:02
◼
►
let's go down in the basement I have a
[TS]
00:56:03
◼
►
glass wall we can see them working do
[TS]
00:56:05
◼
►
you have this is a performative
[TS]
00:56:08
◼
►
self-serving questions you haven't you
[TS]
00:56:10
◼
►
have a karaoke song i hate karaoke took
[TS]
00:56:14
◼
►
that was not the question John you have
[TS]
00:56:15
◼
►
a very pleasant holiday for me I do i do
[TS]
00:56:18
◼
►
oh it's so trying John ok i do have a
[TS]
00:56:22
◼
►
karaoke song understand and well it's um
[TS]
00:56:25
◼
►
I'm which mccalla brandy its Brandi that
[TS]
00:56:33
◼
►
you're a fine girl
[TS]
00:56:36
◼
►
I have you would be such a girl my love
[TS]
00:56:40
◼
►
and malena is this data it's a it's a
[TS]
00:56:45
◼
►
great tune it is a great tune about Baba
[TS]
00:56:48
◼
►
and the reason that it's my karaoke song
[TS]
00:56:50
◼
►
is that it falls just right in my
[TS]
00:56:52
◼
►
register
[TS]
00:56:53
◼
►
that's right you that's the key that
[TS]
00:56:54
◼
►
there's two keys to come sorry there's
[TS]
00:56:56
◼
►
2,000 karaoke one of them is so the
[TS]
00:56:58
◼
►
second one is it must be in range the
[TS]
00:56:59
◼
►
first one is you must have the slightest
[TS]
00:57:01
◼
►
clue how the song goes
[TS]
00:57:02
◼
►
but this is the problem with Brandi yeah
[TS]
00:57:04
◼
►
it falls right i was about to say as it
[TS]
00:57:07
◼
►
falls right in my register between the
[TS]
00:57:10
◼
►
two places where I'm comfortable singing
[TS]
00:57:12
◼
►
so it's either i can sing it either an
[TS]
00:57:14
◼
►
octave up where it's where I'm really
[TS]
00:57:16
◼
►
straining it's too high but if I'm like
[TS]
00:57:19
◼
►
if I'm really feeling it or I sing an
[TS]
00:57:22
◼
►
octave down and it's too low so this is
[TS]
00:57:25
◼
►
why I hate karaoke because my karaoke
[TS]
00:57:27
◼
►
song is not in a in a comfortable range
[TS]
00:57:30
◼
►
that's the first thing you've hated that
[TS]
00:57:32
◼
►
I have any fucking sympathy for its not
[TS]
00:57:35
◼
►
very that is a very much in our entire
[TS]
00:57:37
◼
►
friendship that is the first thing I
[TS]
00:57:39
◼
►
hated that you've had in him
[TS]
00:57:40
◼
►
I can't tell if we've been friends with
[TS]
00:57:42
◼
►
2002-2003 pride 2009 remember the point
[TS]
00:57:45
◼
►
know it must be 2002 know you're
[TS]
00:57:47
◼
►
completely unsympathetic character but
[TS]
00:57:49
◼
►
you just accidentally showed a little
[TS]
00:57:50
◼
►
bit of yourself not we talking about
[TS]
00:57:51
◼
►
masturbating with a submarine sandwich
[TS]
00:57:53
◼
►
but when you brought it out the terms
[TS]
00:57:55
◼
►
are going to citrus sandwich I'm not a
[TS]
00:57:56
◼
►
monster
[TS]
00:58:00
◼
►
taking on this easy that's terrible
[TS]
00:58:02
◼
►
alright
[TS]