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Roderick on the Line

Ep. 35: "You Give 'Em Israeli Eyes"

 

00:00:00   hello hi John [TS]

00:00:07   hi Merlin how's it going pretty good [TS]

00:00:10   earlier man you know what spend just [TS]

00:00:15   going along time you're ready to come [TS]

00:00:17   and give it a good ready [TS]

00:00:19   sure John yeah I had to do that little [TS]

00:00:25   bit they call it off my oh no that's [TS]

00:00:27   good that's exactly right your learning [TS]

00:00:29   your learning good Mike technique was [TS]

00:00:30   gonna ask you about that do you consider [TS]

00:00:32   yourself some was good mic skills [TS]

00:00:33   absolutely food [TS]

00:00:35   I mean you can't sing into microphones [TS]

00:00:36   for 20 years without learning something [TS]

00:00:39   you bring about you bring some different [TS]

00:00:41   different 57 smells like a butt that's [TS]

00:00:44   gonna be different than sure I'll sure [TS]

00:00:46   sec I'll 5418 or whatever [TS]

00:00:49   oh yeah sure see Kyle 4418 is a that's a [TS]

00:00:52   terrible Mike at least Hitler made the [TS]

00:00:53   microphones right on time he really did [TS]

00:00:56   those are the Germans migrate microphone [TS]

00:00:58   not then they put them up there but but [TS]

00:01:00   as you know as you know oh my god all my [TS]

00:01:02   things are sleeping at once here I said [TS]

00:01:05   she sent you three different kinds of [TS]

00:01:06   messages i apologize it's okay that's [TS]

00:01:08   typical of you I have 700 skype [TS]

00:01:11   invitations 10 ical invitations to [TS]

00:01:14   skyping no see that's that's meet you [TS]

00:01:17   yeah I know it yes it has your name [TS]

00:01:19   right at the top of it just start over [TS]

00:01:21   it should not just a little if you want [TS]

00:01:23   to delete on this we can start over [TS]

00:01:25   I don't want I don't want them I'm [TS]

00:01:27   trying to keep my inbox at zero and you [TS]

00:01:30   are adding things to my in so the [TS]

00:01:33   Germans make a good Mike [TS]

00:01:34   yeah via the thing about sure [TS]

00:01:36   microphones that smell like the bottom [TS]

00:01:38   of the ocean is that you know if that's [TS]

00:01:41   how you know that you're in [TS]

00:01:42   that's how you know you're in a hell of [TS]

00:01:43   a club who have a real rock club when [TS]

00:01:47   when you know they have never sanitize [TS]

00:01:48   their microphones you can't do that i [TS]

00:01:50   mean it's like flow type it seems to me [TS]

00:01:52   a man a man of your status with the kind [TS]

00:01:54   of money you got if you were going to [TS]

00:01:55   start a club on not they would serve [TS]

00:01:58   alcohol or you just gonna stare [TS]

00:02:00   yea high status absolutely that's gonna [TS]

00:02:02   take a big cloud which you would use [TS]

00:02:06   sanitizer Mike's i personally would [TS]

00:02:08   there's a club in denver called the [TS]

00:02:10   lion's lair which the first time I [TS]

00:02:13   right there it was promoted to me by [TS]

00:02:16   everyone has like a legendary place you [TS]

00:02:18   have to play the lions lair it's a [TS]

00:02:20   legendary place and we arrived at the [TS]

00:02:23   lion's lair and it was legendarily [TS]

00:02:26   abysmal it was it was a club is a club [TS]

00:02:30   that kind of like the one that you took [TS]

00:02:32   us to recently in san francisco where [TS]

00:02:34   the smell it like the smell of fresh [TS]

00:02:37   paint mixed with bleach mixes with like [TS]

00:02:41   hepatitis mr. hepatitis C hepatitis c 70 [TS]

00:02:47   general kind of the window Jack kind [TS]

00:02:49   really bad ooh yuck smell like Judd so [TS]

00:02:52   you walk in there and you're like oh [TS]

00:02:54   right i wouldn't come into this place to [TS]

00:02:55   get change for a dollar but i'm playing [TS]

00:02:57   here tonight drinking after the class [TS]

00:02:59   its and the microphone so the guy that [TS]

00:03:02   setting up a PA is like yeah we got [TS]

00:03:04   three mics you decide where you want [TS]

00:03:07   them you know like by way of saying [TS]

00:03:09   we're not making any of your instruments [TS]

00:03:11   we have three microphones be talking [TS]

00:03:13   about the place he played that lions are [TS]

00:03:15   we played there multiple times [TS]

00:03:16   oh I'm sorry I'm sorry but that wasn't [TS]

00:03:18   that was not your experience in san [TS]

00:03:19   francisco that's good i don't know the [TS]

00:03:21   great american music hall is one of the [TS]

00:03:22   finest clubs in the world is one clarify [TS]

00:03:24   ok that's the line the lion's lair in [TS]

00:03:26   denver [TS]

00:03:27   however is not on the list of the finest [TS]

00:03:29   clubs in the world and in fact the [TS]

00:03:30   microphone that they gave me this is the [TS]

00:03:32   best night they had because i'm the lead [TS]

00:03:33   vocalist and of course you are going to [TS]

00:03:35   give the best Mike you have to the lead [TS]

00:03:36   vocalist the microphone was a covered [TS]

00:03:40   with rust and be actually had been [TS]

00:03:45   thrown to the floor in a in a punk-rock [TS]

00:03:47   rage so many times that it way it had [TS]

00:03:50   sharp cutting blades on it where the [TS]

00:03:53   where the mic had broken and somebody [TS]

00:03:55   put it back together with a hammer or [TS]

00:03:58   something this screen the screen had [TS]

00:03:59   shards yeah the first time I touched it [TS]

00:04:01   with my lips I was like oh that just cut [TS]

00:04:03   me and I'm just I'm just doing a [TS]

00:04:05   soundcheck like I need to go get a [TS]

00:04:07   tetanus shot now what exactly is not [TS]

00:04:09   like the Vietcong we put we put poop on [TS]

00:04:11   the stick and when that when this when [TS]

00:04:13   they learn that when they tracked it [TS]

00:04:14   their own g sticking in the poop on the [TS]

00:04:16   stick is an infection right now this is [TS]

00:04:18   how the lion's lair is spreading their [TS]

00:04:21   brand of punk rock around America so I [TS]

00:04:23   wish I ended up playing there for five [TS]

00:04:25   times over the years because [TS]

00:04:27   every time someone says the lion's lair [TS]

00:04:28   I go oh yeah I've had such a good time [TS]

00:04:31   they're legendary club and then I would [TS]

00:04:34   you consider living in your own would [TS]

00:04:35   you consider bringing your own something [TS]

00:04:37   some guys bring the fancy ribbon mic or [TS]

00:04:39   whatever in a special box would you do [TS]

00:04:40   that [TS]

00:04:41   here's what happens here is what happens [TS]

00:04:42   when you bring it on Mike you leave it [TS]

00:04:44   at that up because it's the last thing [TS]

00:04:46   you're thinking of when you leave unless [TS]

00:04:48   you have your own sound man if you're [TS]

00:04:49   gonna sound man he's got Mike's but if [TS]

00:04:52   it like I carried around a mic like in [TS]

00:04:54   the past pocket of my jacket for a tour [TS]

00:04:56   like here's my mic and I left it behind [TS]

00:04:59   like three different times and finally [TS]

00:05:01   frankly quite frankly this is gonna [TS]

00:05:03   sound terrible but I left it at the [TS]

00:05:05   bowery ballroom another of the greatest [TS]

00:05:08   clubs in the world and it had my name [TS]

00:05:10   written on earth but when i called them [TS]

00:05:12   they were like no yeah we don't know [TS]

00:05:14   where it went and that was like oh come [TS]

00:05:17   on really [TS]

00:05:18   yeah they're not hiring out the Ivy [TS]

00:05:21   League's for that kind of thing are they [TS]

00:05:22   have the kind of the kind of lists [TS]

00:05:25   you're not gonna get me you're not going [TS]

00:05:27   to coax me on on this podcast to say one [TS]

00:05:29   bad word about the glorious and honorary [TS]

00:05:33   our honorable guild of sound engineers [TS]

00:05:35   roadies and technicians who make the [TS]

00:05:38   club's of america resonate like giant [TS]

00:05:42   cellos they are there are glorious cast [TS]

00:05:45   its kind of talking your proctologist [TS]

00:05:47   exactly i'm never going to say a [TS]

00:05:50   terrible thing about the about that army [TS]

00:05:53   of men and women dressed all in black [TS]

00:05:56   it's super super high with leatherman uh [TS]

00:06:00   multi-tools on their belts and a beeper [TS]

00:06:04   and enlarged flashlights or small [TS]

00:06:07   flashlights and the tiny want you to get [TS]

00:06:09   the tiny little on whether the black [TS]

00:06:11   ones you get one of those giant those [TS]

00:06:13   does the Maglites you get a little [TS]

00:06:14   maglite and you get that holster right [TS]

00:06:16   well the real pros have have tiny [TS]

00:06:19   Maglites with red lenses on them so that [TS]

00:06:22   they can be on stage with their maglite [TS]

00:06:24   and not disrupt the the show uh-huh [TS]

00:06:27   without without with a distracting white [TS]

00:06:30   light that has a red light so that their [TS]

00:06:31   it's like it's basically Special Forces [TS]

00:06:34   stuff those guys use I you know I [TS]

00:06:36   military grade III you not only to [TS]

00:06:39   direct the show but I [TS]

00:06:40   I have a even you've played a thousand [TS]

00:06:43   times more rock shows that i have in a [TS]

00:06:45   million years but even with my very [TS]

00:06:46   modest amount of experience i must tell [TS]

00:06:48   you playing with exactly the same setup [TS]

00:06:51   at exactly the same Club god bless it it [TS]

00:06:54   sounded completely different every night [TS]

00:06:56   with the same sound man you know if the [TS]

00:06:59   guy is the guy who ran the club guy play [TS]

00:07:00   I played the two guys that I played in [TS]

00:07:02   bands with on this overtime finally four [TS]

00:07:04   guys but if they round the board you're [TS]

00:07:07   in good shape because they kind of cared [TS]

00:07:08   but then how it was real goofy would do [TS]

00:07:12   it and I was always struck and we play a [TS]

00:07:14   couple times out of town I was always [TS]

00:07:15   blown away that it could sound so so [TS]

00:07:18   very very different i understand a room [TS]

00:07:20   being different [TS]

00:07:21   yeah but but it seems like you know it's [TS]

00:07:23   like if you ran a restaurant and your [TS]

00:07:25   kind of confused about where the stove [TS]

00:07:27   was yeah well here's the here's pro tip [TS]

00:07:29   okay don't don't let the goofy guide to [TS]

00:07:31   the sound [TS]

00:07:32   what about the coldest taciturn guy [TS]

00:07:34   because he just hauling gear and doing [TS]

00:07:36   merger or you know Jon Coulton sound man [TS]

00:07:39   John Carter is a here's the consummate [TS]

00:07:42   the rock-and-roll professional here yet [TS]

00:07:45   the young women period within the inn [TS]

00:07:46   hotel lobby that's that's that's [TS]

00:07:48   different fella [TS]

00:07:49   no no he's he's John Jonathan Colton's [TS]

00:07:52   Yale educated merch Lackey know there's [TS]

00:07:57   no patent old-world correct craft by the [TS]

00:07:59   way Jonathan Coulton is a sound man is a [TS]

00:08:04   hero has work he he would he was a [TS]

00:08:07   handsome guy with the dark hair [TS]

00:08:08   well i'm not here to judge a man's I'm [TS]

00:08:11   sorry little attractiveness to I'm sorry [TS]

00:08:13   uh but but he is he was on you know he [TS]

00:08:17   would sound for the opener on the [TS]

00:08:19   michael jackson bad tour like he's keep [TS]

00:08:22   this guy's been around when Carter is a [TS]

00:08:24   is a is a sword wielder who say actually [TS]

00:08:28   that's not anything anybody still still [TS]

00:08:30   grey eyes [TS]

00:08:31   Tom that the here is another thing about [TS]

00:08:34   microphones and you know I I don't like [TS]

00:08:36   to literally sickened our listeners but [TS]

00:08:39   we're talking both talking two [TS]

00:08:40   microphones right now so you have this [TS]

00:08:42   microphone is disgusting any offices [TS]

00:08:44   this this is a single-use microphone [TS]

00:08:47   that has never seen anything worse than [TS]

00:08:48   Mount I'll get user you buy single use [TS]

00:08:51   microphone me and you do one podcast and [TS]

00:08:52   throw it away [TS]

00:08:53   absolutely [TS]

00:08:54   thank you get another mind that Spencer [TS]

00:08:56   they say officers like you don't write [TS]

00:08:58   it's okay it's okay that I the toilet [TS]

00:09:00   paper fast lady he just move on right [TS]

00:09:02   now I mean no offense I don't work ping [TS]

00:09:04   pong but the you know the the sm57 that [TS]

00:09:08   it's a workhorse right the NAIA you know [TS]

00:09:11   things sm57 it seems to me are [TS]

00:09:13   everywhere because they're inexpensive [TS]

00:09:15   wood used well you can use them for most [TS]

00:09:18   like all kinds of different things if [TS]

00:09:19   you lost every other mic in the world [TS]

00:09:21   you can still build a house with with an [TS]

00:09:24   sm57 all day and you can make a kick [TS]

00:09:26   drum and you can get by with it as a [TS]

00:09:29   vocal mic right you can you get eaten [TS]

00:09:31   right i mean you've done good show [TS]

00:09:32   singing into an sm57 right [TS]

00:09:34   I don't want to do a show that we're [TS]

00:09:36   where we are we are advertising for [TS]

00:09:38   shure sm57 because well but I'm gonna [TS]

00:09:42   I'm angling for a sponsorship I want [TS]

00:09:44   that company to pony up we are singing [TS]

00:09:47   the praises of the sm57 what a punk rock [TS]

00:09:49   Mike it is i'm gonna take another [TS]

00:09:51   direction if you don't mind [TS]

00:09:52   alright please do because here's the [TS]

00:09:53   thing you walk on the stage most places [TS]

00:09:55   and there's this this rats this recall a [TS]

00:09:58   rat king of of with XLR you see like a [TS]

00:10:02   bunch of XL ours is the prowl again for [TS]

00:10:04   the snake you got a bunch at long x el [TS]

00:10:07   arse in coils and everybody's got a [TS]

00:10:08   special way they like the coil the thing [TS]

00:10:10   don't touch don't touch the coils and [TS]

00:10:12   then you see this pile of sm57 on the [TS]

00:10:15   floor in front of where the kick drum [TS]

00:10:17   would because that's you know they want [TS]

00:10:19   to get home and get back to more [TS]

00:10:20   marijuana you are describing the [TS]

00:10:22   experience of a of a young up-and-coming [TS]

00:10:24   band in Florida we were never we never [TS]

00:10:26   got up or cane we found we were down and [TS]

00:10:31   not coming [TS]

00:10:32   it has been a long time since I played [TS]

00:10:33   in a club where I walked on the stage [TS]

00:10:35   there's just a pile up like a pile of [TS]

00:10:37   cigar butts a pile of sm57 stacked in [TS]

00:10:42   front of the kick drum [TS]

00:10:43   uh-huh it's been a long time because [TS]

00:10:45   they keeping a plastic box or however [TS]

00:10:46   i'm gonna perform a professional rock [TS]

00:10:48   musician and when I show up to clatters [TS]

00:10:50   like there's a selection of nice [TS]

00:10:52   microphones that are being that are [TS]

00:10:54   being mastered by the commander the [TS]

00:10:57   master and commander on the stage who is [TS]

00:11:00   directing his sailors and Midshipmen up [TS]

00:11:03   the Riggin he's pointing the same in all [TS]

00:11:05   the right direction to repair the [TS]

00:11:07   prepare the stage for my show my [TS]

00:11:09   registered mr. Roderick who has I'm [TS]

00:11:11   going on with you however i'd like to [TS]

00:11:13   talk about writers at some point you [TS]

00:11:14   have a kidney writer or is that [TS]

00:11:15   something that's understood i have a [TS]

00:11:16   writer but here's the thing about [TS]

00:11:18   writers is a lot of young bands make the [TS]

00:11:20   mistake of thinking that our shit but [TS]

00:11:21   anything you want on a writer put three [TS]

00:11:23   thousand dollars worth of sushi on the [TS]

00:11:24   writer and then I what you don't realize [TS]

00:11:26   is that they're taking that money out of [TS]

00:11:28   the money they would otherwise pay you [TS]

00:11:29   it's reproducible well right yeah [TS]

00:11:32   immediately recoupable so so I don't my [TS]

00:11:36   writers fairly simple because I would [TS]

00:11:38   rather have the money then have somebody [TS]

00:11:40   charge me seven dollars for a great so [TS]

00:11:43   when you when you rose and came just a [TS]

00:11:45   little bit you probably now see I'm [TS]

00:11:48   guessing you did I could see the putting [TS]

00:11:49   clawfoot bathtub on there and then one [TS]

00:11:51   time you know fool me once close some of [TS]

00:11:53   that stuff right like if you're if you [TS]

00:11:56   say for instance if you say we need a [TS]

00:11:57   shower [TS]

00:11:58   they're not going to charge you for that [TS]

00:12:00   unless they're playin scrupulous well um [TS]

00:12:03   ok but the other part of this and again [TS]

00:12:05   you have to tell me if this is a real [TS]

00:12:06   world experience but bringing your own [TS]

00:12:09   Mike not having a sound guy could see [TS]

00:12:11   that being you know whatever they might [TS]

00:12:13   be not that cool with that but we bring [TS]

00:12:15   on my core you have a big rider this [TS]

00:12:17   does that also pick you as as trouble [TS]

00:12:20   no no bring your own sound guy in your [TS]

00:12:22   own gear everybody loves that except one [TS]

00:12:25   time in minneapolis we played a club [TS]

00:12:29   where the sound guy we had our own sound [TS]

00:12:32   guy and the sound guy did the sound and [TS]

00:12:34   at the end of the night the house sound [TS]

00:12:36   guy came out and pitched a fit like a [TS]

00:12:43   screaming fit that the that our some guy [TS]

00:12:46   had not zero doubt the board which is to [TS]

00:12:48   say he had not pushed all the faders [TS]

00:12:51   back down to zero this is a thing that [TS]

00:12:54   you can do yourself [TS]

00:12:56   here's the thing that you could hire you [TS]

00:12:59   can have a cat do you know if you tear [TS]

00:13:01   up the masking tape everything down [TS]

00:13:03   reset all the little things 20 you start [TS]

00:13:04   over yun gonna hit all the buttons [TS]

00:13:06   started 20 restart from 00 out read a [TS]

00:13:09   lot of work and so we're standing around [TS]

00:13:11   it's really not a lot of work ok act is [TS]

00:13:14   it is a minuscule amount of work and if [TS]

00:13:17   you are obsessive compulsive like me [TS]

00:13:19   there's nothing you like better [TS]

00:13:21   this is around okay just sit there like [TS]

00:13:23   000 do you actually know if it's working [TS]

00:13:27   just assume it's not work well I mean [TS]

00:13:30   everything is everything that isn't [TS]

00:13:32   sleeping his work but it's good point [TS]

00:13:35   but this is a thing like we're standing [TS]

00:13:37   around after the show at the audience is [TS]

00:13:39   gone where [TS]

00:13:40   like loading up our final guitars into [TS]

00:13:43   the man and the house sound guy comes [TS]

00:13:45   over looks at his board which is not [TS]

00:13:47   zero doubt and he really he started [TS]

00:13:50   screaming oh not zeroing out when you're [TS]

00:13:52   done answering out when you're done how [TS]

00:13:55   I see start screaming screaming things [TS]

00:13:58   that it's like I'm a professional sound [TS]

00:14:00   man i played i have done sound at [TS]

00:14:03   sold-out shows sold out shows and no one [TS]

00:14:08   has ever not zero doubt the board so [TS]

00:14:11   that shows and you're like yeah this in [TS]

00:14:16   fact tonight show was sold out and what [TS]

00:14:18   are you talking about why are you [TS]

00:14:20   screaming and he's like that stomping [TS]

00:14:24   around like hey man so it's that it's [TS]

00:14:28   fine [TS]

00:14:29   0out you're bored or what was that like [TS]

00:14:31   not cleaning off his dead rubber girl [TS]

00:14:33   it's like would be like returning your [TS]

00:14:34   sticky well in fact it is not like [TS]

00:14:37   nothing there's nothing equivalent to [TS]

00:14:39   how small of a deal this is it's like [TS]

00:14:41   it's like somebody saying it's like [TS]

00:14:43   somebody coming out of the bathroom and [TS]

00:14:44   saying i told you to turn the light off [TS]

00:14:46   when you left the bathroom and I went in [TS]

00:14:48   there the light was on [TS]

00:14:50   like I'm sorry the light was on sorry [TS]

00:14:53   now I told you too late and effective I [TS]

00:14:58   didn't tell you should have just known [TS]

00:15:00   alright sorry [TS]

00:15:03   well we'll never do it again because we [TS]

00:15:04   won't come back here well yeah my [TS]

00:15:08   experience was extremely different [TS]

00:15:09   because let's say we were there are no [TS]

00:15:11   small potatoes were fingerling potatoes [TS]

00:15:13   in Iraqi consistent but the weird thing [TS]

00:15:14   about living where we lived is we did [TS]

00:15:16   get the entirely inappropriate [TS]

00:15:18   opportunity to open for a lot of amazing [TS]

00:15:20   bands because we you play for cheap and [TS]

00:15:23   really as far as a friend alex wyse the [TS]

00:15:25   promoters to save it so it's good [TS]

00:15:27   exposure and you know whatever which [TS]

00:15:29   basically means he didn't want to pay [TS]

00:15:30   you because he had to be a big fish in a [TS]

00:15:32   small pond or even [TS]

00:15:34   officials multiple nice to be a fish no [TS]

00:15:35   question i talked to a a woman who was i [TS]

00:15:38   I was on a panel one time at the [TS]

00:15:41   experience music project here in Seattle [TS]

00:15:43   who the EMP and it was panel on groupies [TS]

00:15:47   in in rock and roll and I was the only [TS]

00:15:52   man on the bill are on the on the panel [TS]

00:15:56   and also the only musician build another [TS]

00:15:59   way bill is a fellow centric name right [TS]

00:16:01   i'm sorry i was the only man on the bill [TS]

00:16:04   or Janet dias ya on the days on the yeah [TS]

00:16:10   at the table at the head table boy had [TS]

00:16:13   yeah nice terrible i'm sorry that you're [TS]

00:16:15   so deep inside the bell essentially [TS]

00:16:17   right big direction your way out i was i [TS]

00:16:20   was the only man on the vagina okay [TS]

00:16:23   thank you spelled my and that the the [TS]

00:16:27   woman who was the chair of the event was [TS]

00:16:31   a feminist writer from olympia from that [TS]

00:16:35   from the hippie college there [TS]

00:16:39   evergreen college and she had a shed [TS]

00:16:42   that she kind of stacked the panel with [TS]

00:16:44   with women who were rock writers who all [TS]

00:16:48   kind of shared her view that being a [TS]

00:16:49   groupie was a was like a the almost the [TS]

00:16:56   worst thing a woman can do and not only [TS]

00:16:58   terrible for her but it also degraded [TS]

00:17:00   women all across the world like 22 love [TS]

00:17:03   abandoned follow band and to be like the [TS]

00:17:06   girlfriend of rock musicians was a kind [TS]

00:17:10   of debasement that the left a lasting [TS]

00:17:13   scar on women everywhere and then on [TS]

00:17:16   this panel of all these kind of very [TS]

00:17:18   serious-minded young writers there was a [TS]

00:17:22   woman who was now 55 years old who had [TS]

00:17:26   written a book about her 25 years as a [TS]

00:17:29   rock groupie and she started off her [TS]

00:17:32   presentation by saying you know I was 14 [TS]

00:17:34   years old and I was walking down the [TS]

00:17:35   street in my hometown of San Antonio [TS]

00:17:37   Texas and Pamela de barres no it's not [TS]

00:17:40   Pamela march because this is this is the [TS]

00:17:42   point of her story she lived in San [TS]

00:17:43   Antonio and so all the big bands came [TS]

00:17:46   through [TS]

00:17:47   san antonio but there was no competition [TS]

00:17:50   in San Antonio to be like a hot rock [TS]

00:17:53   girl but you it's not like in LA where [TS]

00:17:55   there's 2,500 a models kind of standing [TS]

00:18:00   there trying to talk to the band in san [TS]

00:18:01   antonio she had no competition she and [TS]

00:18:04   her little group of friends anyway she [TS]

00:18:07   her story began she's like walking down [TS]

00:18:08   the street 14 years old and a and a [TS]

00:18:09   white limo pulls up its 1973 and the [TS]

00:18:12   door opens and it's rod stewart and he's [TS]

00:18:15   like I can you climb in England and I am [TS]

00:18:20   I'm from England clouds into the car [TS]

00:18:23   I used to be from Scotland gaap net you [TS]

00:18:25   know on the rock star [TS]

00:18:27   I don't look at me here they sort of [TS]

00:18:30   these drinks and she climbs into the car [TS]

00:18:33   and so begins like a 15-year odyssey for [TS]

00:18:37   her starting admittedly pretty young but [TS]

00:18:41   she she was dated iggy pop for three [TS]

00:18:44   years she traveled around the world [TS]

00:18:46   she's been everywhere up and down and [TS]

00:18:48   she said it was the greatest experience [TS]

00:18:50   of your life and then she wouldn't give [TS]

00:18:52   back a second of it and she and I became [TS]

00:18:54   fast friends on this panel because we [TS]

00:18:56   were surrounded by all these very [TS]

00:18:58   serious bleeding you know you're strong [TS]

00:19:00   lead i do i was like i'm with you chicky [TS]

00:19:05   baby you are pre-qualified madam these [TS]

00:19:07   other the other women up here in their [TS]

00:19:09   special underwear with their their mean [TS]

00:19:11   sticks are going to not gonna take the [TS]

00:19:15   fun out of this for me and actually she [TS]

00:19:19   said from the from the day she was like [TS]

00:19:21   you're my kind of rock star if I was 20 [TS]

00:19:23   years younger I was like baby you have [TS]

00:19:26   to be 20 years younger [TS]

00:19:27   we got a special connection right now [TS]

00:19:29   you want to do it just right here on the [TS]

00:19:31   table but we really it was not we did [TS]

00:19:34   this this paneling off the field didn't [TS]

00:19:35   feel they feel like their sides being [TS]

00:19:37   taken at some point oh my god absolutely [TS]

00:19:39   well the woman is what i found later was [TS]

00:19:41   the we're getting questions from the [TS]

00:19:43   audience and a lot of the questions from [TS]

00:19:45   the audience were really political [TS]

00:19:46   really like hyper overthought [TS]

00:19:50   fourth-generation feminist theory being [TS]

00:19:53   thrown at I don't think a lot of [TS]

00:19:54   groupies are going to come to that they [TS]

00:19:58   got other places to be all who knows who [TS]

00:19:59   goes to these pop comfort [TS]

00:20:00   this is honestly but anyway I found [TS]

00:20:02   later that the woman who had chaired the [TS]

00:20:04   panel who had slight hand selected me [TS]

00:20:06   for this thing I mean I'm she's somebody [TS]

00:20:08   I respect as a writer but she was [TS]

00:20:10   calling on girls in the crowd whom she [TS]

00:20:14   knew who were her students in the class [TS]

00:20:18   she taught so she's calling she's [TS]

00:20:20   handpicking the people that she's [TS]

00:20:23   calling on to ask questions because [TS]

00:20:26   people raising their hands and wanted to [TS]

00:20:28   ask questions and she's picking these [TS]

00:20:29   people and I was just like wow this is [TS]

00:20:31   amazing this crowd is really hostile and [TS]

00:20:33   they're all asking me how I feel about [TS]

00:20:35   mind raping the youth of America and I'm [TS]

00:20:38   like I don't I don't feel like I mind [TS]

00:20:40   raping anybody you know just well maybe [TS]

00:20:43   migrating a few people who come on who [TS]

00:20:45   doesn't [TS]

00:20:46   anyway so it was it was a little bit of [TS]

00:20:49   the deck was stacked against against [TS]

00:20:51   those of us who believe that that sex is [TS]

00:20:54   not really that big of a deal [TS]

00:20:57   stacked yeah now now wait nose and [TS]

00:21:01   ping-pong i would love to close this [TS]

00:21:02   thread as soon as possible [TS]

00:21:04   yes I know me too was this was this was [TS]

00:21:06   just the lady who misspelled feminism I [TS]

00:21:08   know that was that was lost was a bust [TS]

00:21:11   magazine the cover I think of a bust [TS]

00:21:15   right cost ya how to use your family [TS]

00:21:18   no rain but I still I still have a [TS]

00:21:20   little jar feminism here in my office in [TS]

00:21:22   case any feminist come in the middle of [TS]

00:21:24   the night I can wait with them an easier [TS]

00:21:26   management it repels there means today I [TS]

00:21:28   like sticking around that says sticks [TS]

00:21:33   bell with a why don't you notice i just [TS]

00:21:35   used a kind of which voice from The [TS]

00:21:37   Wizard of Oz to describe feminists wow [TS]

00:21:39   LOL thats so ping pong I think you're [TS]

00:21:42   gonna get you're gonna get a note about [TS]

00:21:43   that from copyboy a lot i'm gonna be a [TS]

00:21:45   lot of angry email [TS]

00:21:46   yeah food because i think i think a lot [TS]

00:21:49   of our listeners are feminists yes as [TS]

00:21:51   you and I are I I agree but the thing [TS]

00:21:54   about feminism it is it's a big tent to [TS]

00:21:57   pick tennessee senator heavy there's [TS]

00:21:59   really there's room in there for for all [TS]

00:22:01   of us but different different viewpoints [TS]

00:22:04   and different different body decisions [TS]

00:22:08   actions his positions [TS]

00:22:10   different positions yeah different [TS]

00:22:13   costumes lot of decisions are stacked Oh [TS]

00:22:16   it'sit's on let's move on from the [TS]

00:22:18   museum [TS]

00:22:19   do you have a deal with three by five [TS]

00:22:21   card lying around that you can pick up [TS]

00:22:22   and just if you like I can read you [TS]

00:22:24   everything I have one three-by-five [TS]

00:22:25   cards at this point if it would be [TS]

00:22:26   useful i don't know i think that would [TS]

00:22:28   be bad [TS]

00:22:29   ok I gotta do you want just real quickly [TS]

00:22:32   yeah go ahead [TS]

00:22:32   no I mean that's doesn't like to hear [TS]

00:22:34   from Kat lion's lair groupies we got to [TS]

00:22:37   talk about cough buttons white members i [TS]

00:22:38   got a big problem with white limo Spenny [TS]

00:22:40   him i don't know the white limo [TS]

00:22:42   okay you know what I'm gonna make a [TS]

00:22:44   small star next to that would you cheat [TS]

00:22:47   on Laurie Anderson and why is there [TS]

00:22:49   never room for middle ground in an [TS]

00:22:51   argument i also have other things we'd [TS]

00:22:53   like to get back to sure but I think [TS]

00:22:54   we've already moved on [TS]

00:22:55   yes i would say also unto my Wayne story [TS]

00:22:57   at some point that's be today we you [TS]

00:22:59   know we just recently broke up and now [TS]

00:23:01   it makes me sad yeah it was that guy's a [TS]

00:23:03   hell of a guitar player one of the first [TS]

00:23:04   people to know about it because I was on [TS]

00:23:06   Twitter in the middle of the night and [TS]

00:23:08   Aaron Aaron had that inscrutable to tap [TS]

00:23:11   yeah and I was like hey look at that I'm [TS]

00:23:12   here i am i'm right at the front of the [TS]

00:23:15   bow this boat of knowing well I don't [TS]

00:23:17   want to upset feminists are weaned yeah [TS]

00:23:20   but if you if you were going to end a [TS]

00:23:24   mostly I don't see stalled let's say [TS]

00:23:26   it's slowed down a lot if you had a [TS]

00:23:28   slowdown career with a very popular cult [TS]

00:23:32   band would you move directly to Rod [TS]

00:23:34   McKuen cover album personally know I [TS]

00:23:37   personally would not but then i am not a [TS]

00:23:38   fan of the we're breaking up [TS]

00:23:41   now after nobody cares points what's the [TS]

00:23:44   what's the point in general [TS]

00:23:45   jonathan is a point I don't think REM [TS]

00:23:47   should have broken up I think you just [TS]

00:23:48   stopped putting out records and I mean [TS]

00:23:51   what if you can't handle the occasional [TS]

00:23:53   fan letter going when's your next record [TS]

00:23:55   you know and i hope i'm not giving away [TS]

00:23:57   too much I open but now i'm not gonna [TS]

00:23:58   get a bunch of tweets from people are [TS]

00:24:00   like did you break up the long winters [TS]

00:24:01   and you're just not telling us [TS]

00:24:03   that's because that's not what it's like [TS]

00:24:04   breaking up the angry audience at a [TS]

00:24:06   stadium [TS]

00:24:07   I mean they're gonna leave once they can [TS]

00:24:09   find the door yeah right now with all [TS]

00:24:11   respect banned you have a band at this [TS]

00:24:14   point [TS]

00:24:14   me personally whining besides you [TS]

00:24:16   personally are there other people to [TS]

00:24:17   have people to play instruments are not [TS]

00:24:19   base its do you think you're asleep my [TS]

00:24:22   man be okay [TS]

00:24:23   guess I'm just imagining you like like [TS]

00:24:25   the guy Mary Poppins we got like symbols [TS]

00:24:27   between your knees like this and a [TS]

00:24:29   picture i'm on my back with your parents [TS]

00:24:31   can is in a man Shh [TS]

00:24:34   in fact I do have a band and then think [TS]

00:24:35   about my band is that they're young [TS]

00:24:37   they're very talented very easy as much [TS]

00:24:39   easy to push around [TS]

00:24:40   no no that's not at all is there what [TS]

00:24:43   the hell was that your salad did that [TS]

00:24:49   did you just let the air out of the [TS]

00:24:51   pneumatic suspension of your next Arace [TS]

00:24:54   I like burying the Baron Harkonnen I i [TS]

00:24:57   do this kind of an open stores and I [TS]

00:24:58   float and I can't just pick up missing [TS]

00:25:01   okay i know john i might have official [TS]

00:25:04   i'm gonna write the shower and off [TS]

00:25:05   button I just coughed right Mike was [TS]

00:25:06   getting mad about the cuff button isn't [TS]

00:25:08   sure as well he's a he says he's gonna [TS]

00:25:09   buy you a lot of buyers and all I've [TS]

00:25:11   never seen an actual cough button should [TS]

00:25:13   we should we mentioned this we should we [TS]

00:25:14   should we should we should I don't know [TS]

00:25:16   what it'll just be another of the [TS]

00:25:18   inscrutable like it in jokes that we [TS]

00:25:21   have a free of a friend of a friend of [TS]

00:25:22   the show it in a band who wouldn't you [TS]

00:25:24   say that he is always a picky about [TS]

00:25:27   sound but he's a man with really good [TS]

00:25:29   years and he's you know you can hear the [TS]

00:25:31   production right thank you he's a he's a [TS]

00:25:34   legendary person he really is a one of [TS]

00:25:36   the great on my heroes [TS]

00:25:38   I think one of the all-time greats this [TS]

00:25:39   this this listener this podcast listener [TS]

00:25:41   but definitely definitely in the [TS]

00:25:44   pantheon of all time greats but he is [TS]

00:25:46   offended by a great many things [TS]

00:25:49   yeah but one of those things is that I [TS]

00:25:51   sometimes and Flemmi honest honest if [TS]

00:25:55   the right I'm a sniffer and you're a [TS]

00:25:56   hawker yeah you sniff I and I everyone [TS]

00:25:58   trying to circulate I'm not say anything [TS]

00:26:00   i'm trying unconscious and mindful e [TS]

00:26:01   sitting here I'm trying not to sniff the [TS]

00:26:03   horizon how many was stuffed up and i'm [TS]

00:26:05   still at sniffing I approve of that i [TS]

00:26:07   have a friend here in Seattle who who [TS]

00:26:09   thinks that his post nasal drip is like [TS]

00:26:13   such a medical condition that it excuses [TS]

00:26:16   him from sitting at a white tie dinner [TS]

00:26:18   and going yeah he is repulsive you got [TS]

00:26:22   like you got to take that person aside i [TS]

00:26:24   want to hit him with a bat know I've [TS]

00:26:25   taken inside a dozen times like I have a [TS]

00:26:27   medical condition [TS]

00:26:29   you just don't hear you just have snot [TS]

00:26:31   on your nose and yeah nobody ever taught [TS]

00:26:33   you the money don't you do you grab a [TS]

00:26:35   Kleenex and blow your nose look at you [TS]

00:26:36   moment you might want and you know what [TS]

00:26:38   you mean is it a little bit [TS]

00:26:40   this is one of the many things i would [TS]

00:26:41   say there's at least a handful of things [TS]

00:26:42   that must never be done at the table [TS]

00:26:44   you must not speak on your phone at the [TS]

00:26:46   table I should leave you should leave [TS]

00:26:48   vision there you remember when we went [TS]

00:26:50   into the empty room when we had our last [TS]

00:26:53   fancy dinner and I needed to talk to my [TS]

00:26:54   lady I i need to make junk all I laughed [TS]

00:26:57   remember i left that I remember you [TS]

00:26:59   remember that creepy couple well I [TS]

00:27:02   didn't think they were that creepy [TS]

00:27:03   everybody agreed i mean they were pretty [TS]

00:27:05   creepy [TS]

00:27:06   they were super creepy she look Minnie [TS]

00:27:07   Mouse and he was real small [TS]

00:27:09   well I mean at San Francisco yeah but [TS]

00:27:12   people were asking me when we were down [TS]

00:27:13   it was because she has a broad abroad [TS]

00:27:15   feminist platform we just recently [TS]

00:27:17   played in San Francisco and people were [TS]

00:27:19   saying to me like wow that's a really [TS]

00:27:21   that was a really weird crowd like a [TS]

00:27:23   little really like intensely weird group [TS]

00:27:25   of people at that show and I said it's [TS]

00:27:28   San Francisco people that's where weird [TS]

00:27:31   people don't know what I mean let's talk [TS]

00:27:33   specifics here but it is that if that if [TS]

00:27:36   that would have to have been your first [TS]

00:27:38   jonathan coulton show because that is [TS]

00:27:40   easily the least weird audience i have [TS]

00:27:42   ever seen anything where Jonathan [TS]

00:27:44   Coulton is in the building well here he [TS]

00:27:45   is definitely moving away from singing [TS]

00:27:47   return [TS]

00:27:48   yeah butBut the you know but the there's [TS]

00:27:50   no there's weird but there's people John [TS]

00:27:52   if you eat as much as you can say are [TS]

00:27:54   there people who come to the shows [TS]

00:27:55   dressed up as nemec's we should talk [TS]

00:27:58   about music I don't i'm not sure you [TS]

00:28:00   could [TS]

00:28:00   I'm not trying to look at someone until [TS]

00:28:01   that they were dressed as a nemec's may [TS]

00:28:03   be holding a tiny little iphone um [TS]

00:28:05   here's the thing in any case yes mucus [TS]

00:28:09   well first of all you need to get up [TS]

00:28:11   from the table if you're going to take a [TS]

00:28:12   phone call you contacted maybe you need [TS]

00:28:13   to stand out on the sidewalk or at least [TS]

00:28:15   in the in the antechamber give an [TS]

00:28:18   opinion on using like it seems to me [TS]

00:28:20   that but you don't have to put your [TS]

00:28:21   honor I don't know what can I don't even [TS]

00:28:22   know what you're talking about but yes I [TS]

00:28:24   well my friend scott simpson had [TS]

00:28:27   attitude about this Kamino through this [TS]

00:28:30   work but he had attitude about this [TS]

00:28:31   awhile back that affected me deeply and [TS]

00:28:33   any AD paraphrasing he said something [TS]

00:28:36   along the lines of i will judge whether [TS]

00:28:38   you are a bad person based on whether [TS]

00:28:40   you use you type on your phone at the [TS]

00:28:42   table something like that and i don't [TS]

00:28:45   know i mean that's the thing now that [TS]

00:28:46   people do and I I really I kind of let [TS]

00:28:48   me put it this way here's my here's my [TS]

00:28:49   stand on this [TS]

00:28:50   I try really hard to not do that until [TS]

00:28:53   after the entrĂ©e has arrived [TS]

00:28:55   mmm your dad you get your phone out and [TS]

00:28:57   start start taking pictures of it and [TS]

00:28:59   tweeting it [TS]

00:29:00   oh no all you mean like a book by desert [TS]

00:29:02   with one bite out of it it's so numb [TS]

00:29:06   oblique and this is this is this is I [TS]

00:29:10   think you're hot you're costing a lot [TS]

00:29:11   John do you have a button over there the [TS]

00:29:12   chinese online help us anyway our friend [TS]

00:29:14   wants me to get a button he was betting [TS]

00:29:16   Ivy's gonna send this to deluxe cough [TS]

00:29:18   buttons to call funds that we can push [TS]

00:29:20   them to mute our feed so that we can [TS]

00:29:22   clear our throats in safety without [TS]

00:29:25   offending people's delicate ears with [TS]

00:29:27   the sound of our it had our head [TS]

00:29:30   congestion to see also i got the sense [TS]

00:29:32   that he's real sensitive about the [TS]

00:29:33   ping-pong talk to you want to still meet [TS]

00:29:34   that as well [TS]

00:29:35   well so he is not yet over little there [TS]

00:29:38   is America's remember the generation [TS]

00:29:40   that includes yours and mine [TS]

00:29:42   yeah but is a little bit a little bit [TS]

00:29:44   earlier he's a little older that's not [TS]

00:29:46   by much now but just remember that he [TS]

00:29:48   looks a lot older [TS]

00:29:49   yeah oh no he does not know he's a diva [TS]

00:29:52   he's a very very handsome man [TS]

00:29:54   yeah but anyway he's he's a little bit [TS]

00:29:57   older than us and so I think he feels [TS]

00:29:58   like he was really in the trenches more [TS]

00:30:01   than we were a it in terms of sort of [TS]

00:30:05   the late latter part of the civil rights [TS]

00:30:06   movement latter part of the the the [TS]

00:30:09   third-generation feminism the real part [TS]

00:30:11   of it all that kind of a tease feeling [TS]

00:30:14   that you know that we are fighting for [TS]

00:30:16   we are fighting to change the language [TS]

00:30:18   and the thinking we want to get on the [TS]

00:30:20   right team you want to get on the right [TS]

00:30:22   team and I think he he he's just a [TS]

00:30:24   little bit older than us and so although [TS]

00:30:25   he can be he can be ironic about those [TS]

00:30:29   things he also still feels like those [TS]

00:30:30   battles are important and we need to we [TS]

00:30:33   need to be waging them kind of at all [TS]

00:30:35   times we need to be vigilant over our [TS]

00:30:37   language and vigilant over our thought [TS]

00:30:39   and he's not at you and I are just a [TS]

00:30:41   little bit more in the camp of at you [TS]

00:30:45   know people of other races should be [TS]

00:30:48   sent back to their countries where they [TS]

00:30:50   came from and a lot of a lot happier to [TS]

00:30:53   marcus garvey type situation exactly [TS]

00:30:55   yes I go back to Liberia and start a [TS]

00:30:57   whole new nation [TS]

00:30:58   yeah i mean strain the name freedom [TS]

00:30:59   freedom Liberia Nigeria live which is [TS]

00:31:03   Latin [TS]

00:31:04   444 fun time to send women back to the [TS]

00:31:07   mall with what why in the name like well [TS]

00:31:09   I could just wave women just kind of [TS]

00:31:11   understood like that they can't have it [TS]

00:31:13   all know and part of not having it all [TS]

00:31:15   is not sure what it is [TS]

00:31:17   well that's I'm about to describe it i'm [TS]

00:31:20   about to define it you can have it is [TS]

00:31:22   what it is [TS]

00:31:23   ok you should stop whatever it is [TS]

00:31:25   whatever i'm complaining because your [TS]

00:31:27   shrill high-pitched voices being able to [TS]

00:31:31   that's two outs in the eighth [TS]

00:31:32   I know daddy needs time to think in [TS]

00:31:35   quiet get that song I you and your [TS]

00:31:36   ping-pong friends don't know if you [TS]

00:31:38   remember that do i send him some works [TS]

00:31:40   that's the price not that I saw that [TS]

00:31:42   that's what this is the best email [TS]

00:31:44   thread I've had this week because he's [TS]

00:31:46   too [TS]

00:31:47   two of my three favorite nobody should [TS]

00:31:49   use that words [TS]

00:31:50   yeah um so we are we up with me cons we [TS]

00:31:54   open for weaned and the time we were [TS]

00:31:56   before we know because where there's [TS]

00:31:57   incision and we weren't even on the [TS]

00:31:59   totem pole we were like we were like in [TS]

00:32:01   the park your local openers we were [TS]

00:32:03   local openers that got a hundred bucks [TS]

00:32:05   for the show [TS]

00:32:06   mm maybe fifty bucks yeah I mean [TS]

00:32:08   sometimes you get not you know who cares [TS]

00:32:10   like we all have jobs it was just it was [TS]

00:32:11   an honor really truly I mean in [TS]

00:32:13   retrospect I mean you know I'm in my [TS]

00:32:16   twenties and hoping for these bands that [TS]

00:32:18   are you know like for real you're in [TS]

00:32:20   your forties and you're still talking [TS]

00:32:21   about it so that like that like the [TS]

00:32:23   poster children like his second and that [TS]

00:32:25   wouldn't have happened if I wasn't [TS]

00:32:26   living in this countdown but anyway in [TS]

00:32:28   you know it's a dumb story is no doors [TS]

00:32:30   now it's a dumb story [TS]

00:32:32   yeah I can I gave them a present which [TS]

00:32:33   is creepy you shouldn't give people [TS]

00:32:34   presents when they're onto recently they [TS]

00:32:35   got either packer throw throw throw it [TS]

00:32:37   away sure their English but I mean [TS]

00:32:39   that's well now that this it is an [TS]

00:32:42   interesting thread though that I that I [TS]

00:32:44   just had not read not very long ago [TS]

00:32:46   which is that if someone gives you [TS]

00:32:49   something when you're on tour a fan [TS]

00:32:52   gives you something particularly [TS]

00:32:53   something they made either a food item [TS]

00:32:54   or a piece of fan art in a wicker chair [TS]

00:32:58   or wicker chair or like a like it's [TS]

00:33:02   something cast iron that they made in [TS]

00:33:03   their forge give a fan gives you [TS]

00:33:06   something on two and four church [TS]

00:33:08   you cannot throw it away that not ok its [TS]

00:33:12   finest right that luck [TS]

00:33:14   it's but i think it's extremely bad luck [TS]

00:33:15   and it's also bad faith [TS]

00:33:17   and it's like that listen a fan has made [TS]

00:33:19   this for you there is something sacred [TS]

00:33:21   about it but I was talking to sort of a [TS]

00:33:24   crew in a crew context talking to a [TS]

00:33:28   group of people who work which was made [TS]

00:33:30   up of some more musicians but some were [TS]

00:33:32   touring crew people and the crew people [TS]

00:33:36   all agreed they all said I mean the [TS]

00:33:39   solution to that is that you if you if [TS]

00:33:42   the fan has made something for you that [TS]

00:33:43   spooks you which witch happens they [TS]

00:33:47   bring something to show they're like I [TS]

00:33:49   made this for you and it's like oh [TS]

00:33:50   that's a voodoo doll that your hair or [TS]

00:33:52   the had something that's not that's not [TS]

00:33:54   a hundred percent cool with me this is a [TS]

00:33:57   microphone what you can do that then [TS]

00:34:00   this was this was the crew speaking they [TS]

00:34:02   were like you gift it to a member of the [TS]

00:34:04   crew and then the crew can do whatever [TS]

00:34:08   they want me to make a bong out of it [TS]

00:34:09   right [TS]

00:34:10   so those items of a fan material that [TS]

00:34:14   you get where you're like oh like I just [TS]

00:34:17   got a bunch of cookies that all look [TS]

00:34:19   like me except they have big gingerbread [TS]

00:34:22   penises on them and I don't want those I [TS]

00:34:26   don't know why somebody would make me [TS]

00:34:28   where do you take the first bite I [TS]

00:34:29   usually bite the head off but that would [TS]

00:34:30   be really confusing i don't want to keep [TS]

00:34:33   them but I don't want I definitely don't [TS]

00:34:34   want to just throw them away either that [TS]

00:34:36   seems like a really particular to the [TS]

00:34:38   proper cookie plane [TS]

00:34:39   no I'm going to talk about them anymore [TS]

00:34:41   but if you have them to the crew then [TS]

00:34:44   the then you what you have done is given [TS]

00:34:45   a gift [TS]

00:34:46   yes which like releases you from the [TS]

00:34:49   bond and the crew of course those people [TS]

00:34:52   have no he left wrist out some people [TS]

00:34:54   morals of that almost now and well that [TS]

00:34:57   but then the cookie that the penis [TS]

00:34:59   cookies go away and everybody is fine [TS]

00:35:02   maybe you distracted the crew for a [TS]

00:35:04   while which is not a bad idea is given [TS]

00:35:06   the crew something to think about and [TS]

00:35:07   giving them a present from our hands a [TS]

00:35:10   little bit you know and if it shows up [TS]

00:35:12   on ebay later [TS]

00:35:13   that's it that's on them that's not on [TS]

00:35:15   you yeah [TS]

00:35:16   so anyway it was that that's that's a [TS]

00:35:19   little bit of like rock-and-roll science [TS]

00:35:21   there [TS]

00:35:21   I don't do it up cannot throw something [TS]

00:35:23   away that I want to make it awkward John [TS]

00:35:25   but you are a strike me as a very light [TS]

00:35:28   packer and in a sense that you literally [TS]

00:35:29   wear the same thing everyday and you [TS]

00:35:31   have a very I think in my experience you [TS]

00:35:32   have a pretty easy try that bag I gave [TS]

00:35:34   you [TS]

00:35:35   it's kind of lame isn't it no no it's [TS]

00:35:37   good i just did you get this restaurant [TS]

00:35:38   now we found this trap we haven't given [TS]

00:35:39   it the next time you come up with [TS]

00:35:41   something you just wrap everything [TS]

00:35:42   strapped that's how you throw me the [TS]

00:35:43   cello I throw you the strap [TS]

00:35:45   oh that a good deal is that challenge [TS]

00:35:47   that challenge thing we frightened about [TS]

00:35:48   that you can send me a fucking joke [TS]

00:35:49   listen the cello is worth more than the [TS]

00:35:51   strap I don't think so you try to travel [TS]

00:35:53   with the cello and you're gonna have to [TS]

00:35:54   have to check that you would have to [TS]

00:35:57   check this your package shallow you [TS]

00:35:59   would not be able to pack it because it [TS]

00:36:00   doesn't have a case it's a it's just a [TS]

00:36:02   free it's a free cello to consider an [TS]

00:36:04   extremely honest man so I would never [TS]

00:36:05   want to take you to anything like a task [TS]

00:36:07   on this but you're telling me that you [TS]

00:36:10   actually sometimes take stuff with you [TS]

00:36:13   that people have given you that's [TS]

00:36:14   non-perishable if somebody made you if [TS]

00:36:17   you see if somebody made you a little [TS]

00:36:18   John a hair like would you would you [TS]

00:36:20   actually put that in your bag and then [TS]

00:36:22   where would that go to take that home [TS]

00:36:23   with you being honest [TS]

00:36:24   well yeah in fact we're back when I had [TS]

00:36:26   a tour van we had a kind of mean a lot [TS]

00:36:30   of a lot of bands with to advance the [TS]

00:36:32   dashboard ends up being kind of shrine [TS]

00:36:34   where all your old backstage passes and [TS]

00:36:38   little shit that fans have given you it [TS]

00:36:40   all gets you know death cab for cutie's [TS]

00:36:41   to have a have a box of peeps up there [TS]

00:36:45   that it melted in the sun and so it's [TS]

00:36:47   like a bunch of melted peach something [TS]

00:36:48   like a tinkerbell poster a tinkle tinkle [TS]

00:36:51   Bell poster benefited did she did an [TS]

00:36:53   entire tour sitting up on the on the [TS]

00:36:55   dashboard of the van [TS]

00:36:56   whenever I always going to ask you is it [TS]

00:36:58   rolled up the whole time it was rolled [TS]

00:36:59   up everything you nuts [TS]

00:37:01   no no every time one of the my bandmates [TS]

00:37:02   would be like what is this thing can we [TS]

00:37:04   get this off the dash I'd be like get [TS]

00:37:05   your hands off [TS]

00:37:07   don't touch it don't look at it like [TS]

00:37:10   it's not it's not there [TS]

00:37:12   there's no is it not like don't you [TS]

00:37:14   matter what it is and I'll know if you [TS]

00:37:16   looked at it [TS]

00:37:17   my mind just happened with me and it's I [TS]

00:37:19   got two angles on this there's the one [TS]

00:37:21   angle of oh my god this is like the [TS]

00:37:22   sweetest thing in the world that you [TS]

00:37:24   give me like sometimes people are really [TS]

00:37:25   sweet about like going to talk to [TS]

00:37:27   somebody gives me like a present for my [TS]

00:37:28   daughter or something like that and you [TS]

00:37:30   know I feel I and if it was in town i [TS]

00:37:35   would i would absolutely bring it home [TS]

00:37:37   but the problem is like if you've gotta [TS]

00:37:39   travel and like I'm already i'm such a [TS]

00:37:41   bad packer III really seriously like to [TS]

00:37:43   quote you know so I felt like Diana Ross [TS]

00:37:45   I have suffering so much stuff I don't [TS]

00:37:47   need is already packed i'm late i'm [TS]

00:37:48   hungover I understand what I'm telling [TS]

00:37:51   you is you cannot just never do it [TS]

00:37:52   cannot arbitrarily throw that stuff when [TS]

00:37:55   you consider just throwing it away in a [TS]

00:37:56   garbage can they wouldn't sell you have [TS]

00:37:57   to give it as a gift to somebody that [TS]

00:37:59   you have to break the spell but it but [TS]

00:38:01   yeah we are somebody made somebody [TS]

00:38:04   people used to make incredible stuff for [TS]

00:38:06   us i had a set of beads that said the [TS]

00:38:09   long winters that's so that's so sweet [TS]

00:38:11   and you put that somewhere in a [TS]

00:38:12   collection of your home i do have them [TS]

00:38:14   somewhere there's a there's a little [TS]

00:38:16   remember the old penguin shirt that we [TS]

00:38:18   had it was a it was a little fat pain [TS]

00:38:20   when on a in a circle that let's set the [TS]

00:38:23   long winters under it [TS]

00:38:24   yeah somebody made a stuffed penguin [TS]

00:38:27   that's how sweet now crafts I like [TS]

00:38:30   crafts very nice very much and i think [TS]

00:38:32   is my friend Moxie she gave me like a [TS]

00:38:33   felt finger puppet and the finger puppet [TS]

00:38:36   had its own finger puppet and i love it [TS]

00:38:38   but that's around cold water thing right [TS]

00:38:40   there she doesn't like that thats it [TS]

00:38:41   thats that would be typical of her to [TS]

00:38:43   teach my past if somebody I should have [TS]

00:38:46   had a cough button because i just made a [TS]

00:38:47   little snort I think you did [TS]

00:38:49   so why did you all over the fallout [TS]

00:38:52   somebody just email the state think you [TS]

00:38:55   did the mucus DoublePlay tinker to Evers [TS]

00:39:00   done it gives you a finger puppet [TS]

00:39:03   oh it was felt there's very little it [TS]

00:39:04   was very little all other dimension [TS]

00:39:07   ok connect can ask you just a couple [TS]

00:39:08   quick questions about this and I i don't [TS]

00:39:11   mean this to turn into a lightning round [TS]

00:39:12   right [TS]

00:39:13   ok so one that's easy to cross off is if [TS]

00:39:16   it is food you like if you if its food [TS]

00:39:18   you like and it doesn't seem like [TS]

00:39:20   there's anything weird innit [TS]

00:39:21   we try it maybe eat it this is the thing [TS]

00:39:24   that people give me food all the time [TS]

00:39:26   mhm have a couple of fans that I like [TS]

00:39:28   very much who [TS]

00:39:29   Tina give me food use cookies and cake [TS]

00:39:31   and one that is that it's really [TS]

00:39:33   well-made stuff and it's just delicious [TS]

00:39:35   and everybody loves anticipated you come [TS]

00:39:36   to town you gonna get cookies and cake [TS]

00:39:38   absolutely when in fact uh in fact there [TS]

00:39:41   we have a friend in San Francisco always [TS]

00:39:43   makes us black bottom of brownies black [TS]

00:39:47   bottom cupcakes that's okay it's not [TS]

00:39:49   ping-pong i love she is an Asian person [TS]

00:39:51   here so it's you do with it what you [TS]

00:39:54   will [TS]

00:39:55   and right now by saying nothing anywhere [TS]

00:39:59   but there are other times like like one [TS]

00:40:01   time i was i was playing in in portland [TS]

00:40:04   and some read students some students [TS]

00:40:06   from reed college came and get an had a [TS]

00:40:10   bunch of cupcakes and over like we made [TS]

00:40:12   these cupcakes and I was like Reed is [TS]

00:40:16   the type of place where people would put [TS]

00:40:17   LSD and cupcakes and give them to a band [TS]

00:40:19   i want you know eggs i feel like right [TS]

00:40:22   and no eggs no no animals were were [TS]

00:40:25   enslaved to make these LSD cupcakes that [TS]

00:40:28   was made from wheat grass and hash so I [TS]

00:40:31   was so I said to them from the stage was [TS]

00:40:33   like you don't have there are no LSDs in [TS]

00:40:36   these cupcakes are they [TS]

00:40:38   oregon and they they all were like haha [TS]

00:40:43   no no way T let's not evil i'm giving [TS]

00:40:48   these to the crew is and you know I've [TS]

00:40:50   never better crew person that wouldn't [TS]

00:40:51   eat a vegan LSD cupcake I could eat an [TS]

00:40:54   sm57 a lot of them look at this I'm [TS]

00:40:57   gonna check i'm gonna check out food [TS]

00:40:58   food comma ok food now what and i'm [TS]

00:41:02   going to click and mail chip cookies are [TS]

00:41:03   always all boy i love it i love a cookie [TS]

00:41:05   and let's be nice for you know I I don't [TS]

00:41:08   do this as much anymore because you [TS]

00:41:09   always say no but the one exception of [TS]

00:41:11   the time you're desperately ill and I [TS]

00:41:12   brought you some cold medicine I in the [TS]

00:41:14   past I used to always ask do you need [TS]

00:41:16   anything [TS]

00:41:17   you probably got the areas and pics but [TS]

00:41:19   like do you is there anything I can [TS]

00:41:20   bring you that would bring you comfort [TS]

00:41:21   and you always say no because you're [TS]

00:41:23   gentlemen but you know I it must be you [TS]

00:41:25   want to have that comfort when you [TS]

00:41:26   arrive somewhere and if you've got a [TS]

00:41:28   cake waiting for you in a room like you [TS]

00:41:30   don't touch that alcohol I think I don't [TS]

00:41:31   like five years by the way you're [TS]

00:41:33   welcome to them [TS]

00:41:34   yeah yeah it's gotten pretty much [TS]

00:41:36   cleaned at you Jonathan you got you [TS]

00:41:38   you guys did good you made sure there [TS]

00:41:40   was no Brandi left he made sure there [TS]

00:41:42   was [TS]

00:41:42   no I'm writing on subway on a card I [TS]

00:41:44   mean you know the last time I saw you [TS]

00:41:45   you were standing on the street in front [TS]

00:41:47   of a subway and you doing brother open [TS]

00:41:50   superseries front of an open sewer and [TS]

00:41:52   you were eating the last of for Subway [TS]

00:41:53   sandwiches huh [TS]

00:41:57   now what that remember i would have been [TS]

00:41:59   back for more let's go yeah we did [TS]

00:42:01   you're like hey this party's really [TS]

00:42:02   going anywhere to eat it with be better [TS]

00:42:05   like god it stinks it smells like shit [TS]

00:42:08   and piss in this on the sidewalk and [TS]

00:42:10   you're like I'm going for more damages I [TS]

00:42:12   thought you guys were going to have them [TS]

00:42:13   with me some stay there like a dope with [TS]

00:42:15   this plastic bag full of like crappy [TS]

00:42:17   sandwiches at two in the morning anyway [TS]

00:42:19   um so if I can just I want to make it a [TS]

00:42:21   little suitcase somewhere I can cross [TS]

00:42:22   that off thank you em behind I don't [TS]

00:42:25   smoke but thank you for tuning that I [TS]

00:42:26   two more okay how about this [TS]

00:42:29   so this is the one this is the one I [TS]

00:42:30   have a problem with and I struggle with [TS]

00:42:32   this because everywhere you go [TS]

00:42:34   somebody's got a shirt and and it's it's [TS]

00:42:36   kind of and it is super nice thing but [TS]

00:42:39   like I personally I want to give you a [TS]

00:42:41   shirt [TS]

00:42:42   starting to think yeah exactly starting [TS]

00:42:45   in 2006 i turned a corner because i used [TS]

00:42:48   to be rock and roll short guy like I [TS]

00:42:49   always wanna rock'n'roll shirt and I [TS]

00:42:50   mean I had really really really good [TS]

00:42:52   shirts and yeah you did I might have had [TS]

00:42:58   a leader Egypt and I remember anyway [TS]

00:43:01   yeah you know you know what you know [TS]

00:43:03   what have you seen that I had in my [TS]

00:43:04   heart makin sure I totally did [TS]

00:43:06   yeah yeah had a bacon stain on it my [TS]

00:43:07   payment shirt with a cool one the green [TS]

00:43:09   one I had bacon stain on it or I had a [TS]

00:43:12   dump trucks your that's weird bacon [TS]

00:43:14   years [TS]

00:43:14   yeah the making because you had a really [TS]

00:43:16   cool down structured a really cool [TS]

00:43:18   replacement you know what I said I said [TS]

00:43:19   this is it this is done this is this is [TS]

00:43:21   silly i'm at the time I was like 50 and [TS]

00:43:23   I said I got to get rid of these i get [TS]

00:43:25   rid of them [TS]

00:43:26   I did I I got all I took photos of a lot [TS]

00:43:29   of them like my archers of loaf shirt i [TS]

00:43:31   knew i was gonna miss that was really [TS]

00:43:32   nice like long-sleeve when they made [TS]

00:43:34   nice shirts you know guy dribbles you [TS]

00:43:37   don't just put in a you didn't just put [TS]

00:43:38   it in a box and put it in the added [TS]

00:43:39   value that actually the point is the [TS]

00:43:41   stop putting things in boxes John that [TS]

00:43:43   was the point of our purge and I made a [TS]

00:43:45   lot of tough decisions i got rid of some [TS]

00:43:47   nice bags you know what what what a good [TS]

00:43:49   solution to that is I will see quilts [TS]

00:43:52   and pillows and quilts right you're hit [TS]

00:43:54   you're here [TS]

00:43:55   hip to the sentencing creepy at all to [TS]

00:43:56   make it making sure the quality of your [TS]

00:43:57   own shirts rock-and-roll band shirt for [TS]

00:44:01   you what do you put that though you put [TS]

00:44:02   it on your bed like a gentleman you put [TS]

00:44:05   it on your bed and you pull it up under [TS]

00:44:06   your chin when you're cold in the winter [TS]

00:44:08   you know what I wish I could go back [TS]

00:44:09   the point is I turned a corner I said [TS]

00:44:10   look I really white shirts that don't [TS]

00:44:13   have yellow pits and I need to buy new [TS]

00:44:15   ones i need to have I mean I'm a man now [TS]

00:44:17   i can have all the stuff I got rid of [TS]

00:44:19   them and the thing is when i did that [TS]

00:44:20   and I made that difficult decision of [TS]

00:44:22   getting rid of the dump truck sure which [TS]

00:44:23   really was discussing it was from like [TS]

00:44:25   1988 and was totally gross right and [TS]

00:44:27   that was still wearing it you know and [TS]

00:44:29   i'm like a family and so excuse me I'm [TS]

00:44:32   gonna wish you hadn't melted my bros [TS]

00:44:33   pretty late into your thirties I would I [TS]

00:44:36   don't think we're done i don't think [TS]

00:44:37   we're done with that trip yeah i really [TS]

00:44:38   don't i mean if i could if i can eat [TS]

00:44:40   that many sandwiches in front of an open [TS]

00:44:41   sewer with you I i got the things i need [TS]

00:44:45   to get their PMT's to they were done [TS]

00:44:47   with all any fall and you're like I bet [TS]

00:44:50   you're getting extra monkey peppers on [TS]

00:44:52   him or something you like giving your bb [TS]

00:44:54   mt with extra might have a side of [TS]

00:44:56   subway system that if you were not too [TS]

00:44:57   snarky i would share with you because [TS]

00:44:59   starbucks and subway is all you can [TS]

00:45:01   count on when you travel and i will give [TS]

00:45:02   you advice that you will not take [TS]

00:45:03   somebody move on i want a subway [TS]

00:45:05   sandwich at subway in bellingham [TS]

00:45:07   washington right before going into [TS]

00:45:08   Canada their knowledge eyes I had it [TS]

00:45:10   didn't because it was American but I had [TS]

00:45:12   explosive poops haha two days afterwards [TS]

00:45:16   and I didn't have banana peppers banana [TS]

00:45:17   peppers I gonna get banana peppers and [TS]

00:45:19   I'm not gonna eat there anymore and I [TS]

00:45:21   did meet there for like eight years [TS]

00:45:22   until standing on the street corner on [TS]

00:45:26   on marketing in san francisco CA where [TS]

00:45:28   is a totally sketchy neighborhood in [TS]

00:45:31   instances yeah but it wasn't able to get [TS]

00:45:33   the sewer with a lot and you're the only [TS]

00:45:35   guy in the entire group that could even [TS]

00:45:37   conceivably handle being punched by [TS]

00:45:38   somebody i was also the only guy that [TS]

00:45:40   wasn't like switch swilling off of a [TS]

00:45:43   brandy bottle in the been on the side [TS]

00:45:45   have no recollection of any that John I [TS]

00:45:46   don't think that happened it wasn't it [TS]

00:45:48   was a constant so the point is like I [TS]

00:45:50   love people and I love their companies [TS]

00:45:53   and I love their website they're all [TS]

00:45:54   good people but like I just bring your [TS]

00:45:57   t-shirt that is a relatively inexpensive [TS]

00:45:59   shirt with the logo of a company on it [TS]

00:46:02   here's the problem now I gotta carry [TS]

00:46:03   that [TS]

00:46:04   oh yeah now that you know what I feel [TS]

00:46:06   like the exception to this is when [TS]

00:46:08   somebody gives you swag from theirs from [TS]

00:46:11   their company you can put that [TS]

00:46:13   immediately in the garbage [TS]

00:46:15   okay that is not a fan so if you get up [TS]

00:46:18   she not get a cheap pen or a paperweight [TS]

00:46:20   or like a bottle opener guard balls are [TS]

00:46:23   Bosh ok alright well good i don't see [TS]

00:46:25   what I'm saying now that did this isn't [TS]

00:46:27   does not put a anything like a lie to [TS]

00:46:29   your system it's a fan has made [TS]

00:46:31   something beautiful for you i'm not [TS]

00:46:34   talking about that I'm talking I'm [TS]

00:46:35   talking about and get something like [TS]

00:46:37   this number three because number three [TS]

00:46:38   is going to be I really want to hear [TS]

00:46:39   your advice on number three are no but I [TS]

00:46:41   feel like I feel like any kind of [TS]

00:46:43   company swag like here's something [TS]

00:46:45   that's been happening to me recently [TS]

00:46:46   that is that is really really that is [TS]

00:46:49   really trying my gears i do not have [TS]

00:46:52   enough oil and I have enough machine oil [TS]

00:46:54   in the world to keep my gears running [TS]

00:46:56   smoothly and somebody comes up to me at [TS]

00:46:58   a show and says hi I'm make instruments [TS]

00:47:02   i make effects pedals or I make guitars [TS]

00:47:06   and i would like to make a guitar for [TS]

00:47:09   you and I go wow that's amazing really [TS]

00:47:14   they're like yes I make guitars and i'm [TS]

00:47:16   a big fan of you and I want to make you [TS]

00:47:18   a guitar and I go wow I would love for [TS]

00:47:21   you to make me a guitar and they go [TS]

00:47:23   great can I have your email address and [TS]

00:47:25   I'll to contact you and we'll talk about [TS]

00:47:27   it and I'm like that's fantastic here's [TS]

00:47:29   my email address and then the next day [TS]

00:47:31   they sent me an email that says great [TS]

00:47:34   well i'm gonna start working on your [TS]

00:47:35   guitar and let's talk about artists [TS]

00:47:36   pricing [TS]

00:47:37   oh come on and I'm like artists pricing [TS]

00:47:41   here is what you said I'm going to make [TS]

00:47:44   your guitar that means you are going to [TS]

00:47:45   make me a guitar and give it to me that [TS]

00:47:47   does not mean that you are going to sell [TS]

00:47:49   me a guitar that is not what I let me [TS]

00:47:52   make you guitar means yeah and and that [TS]

00:47:55   is a that is I think I'm much more [TS]

00:47:56   common thing now where people are like I [TS]

00:47:58   love you and I really want to make you [TS]

00:47:59   something great get started okay here's [TS]

00:48:02   my price because this straight straight [TS]

00:48:03   in number three if i could get the risk [TS]

00:48:05   of courting a neologism that is not a [TS]

00:48:08   gift that is a grift a grift that is [TS]

00:48:10   that is a grift because it feels like a [TS]

00:48:12   gift but it's actually a little bit [TS]

00:48:13   scroogie so here's number three okay so [TS]

00:48:16   you say yes [TS]

00:48:17   probably maybe to food that's a [TS]

00:48:18   case-by-case basis depends on a lot of [TS]

00:48:20   factors you know what you have to look [TS]

00:48:21   into the eyes of someone who's giving [TS]

00:48:22   you food [TS]

00:48:23   oh you can see you can see did the pools [TS]

00:48:25   of concern [TS]

00:48:26   it's like it's like the the way the [TS]

00:48:28   Israelis handle airport security they [TS]

00:48:31   don't make everyone a speaker shoes off [TS]

00:48:33   right [TS]

00:48:33   they just stand out in front of the [TS]

00:48:34   airport and they look everybody in the [TS]

00:48:36   eye as they're walking in that you get [TS]

00:48:38   good at that you get really good at it [TS]

00:48:40   and the thing is if you're going to blow [TS]

00:48:41   up a plane and you're walking into an [TS]

00:48:43   airport and some a sum like young army [TS]

00:48:46   guy looks you in the eye you give it all [TS]

00:48:48   away i don't care what how much of a [TS]

00:48:50   sociopath you are you give it all away [TS]

00:48:52   you cannot going to look something I'd [TS]

00:48:54   be like to do with your mom here because [TS]

00:48:56   the thing is like no eye contact that [TS]

00:48:59   can be sketchy when too much eye contact [TS]

00:49:01   you been practicing [TS]

00:49:02   that's right these guys aren't these [TS]

00:49:03   guys are trained to pull you aside and [TS]

00:49:05   say you know whose shoes were gonna take [TS]

00:49:07   off your shoes and you know who's we're [TS]

00:49:09   not gonna take off the little old lady [TS]

00:49:11   who doesn't mean you know we missed a [TS]

00:49:13   wiener we missed a fucking flight on [TS]

00:49:15   this last to her because the TSA it [TS]

00:49:18   goddamn minneapolis doesn't it as [TS]

00:49:22   seriously could not solve a simple to [TS]

00:49:25   Doku this TSA a lot of Methodist this [TS]

00:49:29   misty as they could not figure out how [TS]

00:49:32   to get the other toilet paper roll in [TS]

00:49:34   one of those double toilet paper roll [TS]

00:49:36   systems in a public bathroom they could [TS]

00:49:38   not figure out how to get that other [TS]

00:49:40   toilet paper roll over when the first [TS]

00:49:42   toilet paper rolls out Caroline that [TS]

00:49:44   they are listening to a tsa that I've [TS]

00:49:46   ever seen and they literally actually [TS]

00:49:48   said to us when we complained [TS]

00:49:51   we're not in the customer service [TS]

00:49:53   business [TS]

00:49:54   oh boy wrong thing to say and I swear to [TS]

00:49:58   God I it took everything in my power the [TS]

00:50:01   only reason I did not give a long [TS]

00:50:03   lecture the only reason i did not stand [TS]

00:50:05   up on the conveyor belt and a long [TS]

00:50:07   lecture is because i knew i would be [TS]

00:50:09   pulled down and put into a jail that's [TS]

00:50:12   the only TV which you eat walking you [TS]

00:50:14   can click its I would be for keeping [TS]

00:50:17   plays until they turned it off [TS]

00:50:19   I be standing there walking in place [TS]

00:50:21   saying people of America but i knew i [TS]

00:50:25   would be put into a jail and so I kept [TS]

00:50:27   my mouth shut but you also inconvenience [TS]

00:50:29   everybody writing computer [TS]

00:50:30   doesn't work because now they got value [TS]

00:50:32   out but not have been more inconvenient [TS]

00:50:34   than we were inconvenienced by this [TS]

00:50:35   incompetent tsa who are fighting the [TS]

00:50:37   last war but anyway in case it was the [TS]

00:50:40   only time in my whole life this has [TS]

00:50:41   happened when i got to the gate and they [TS]

00:50:43   had closed the gate five minutes before [TS]

00:50:44   because we spent an hour at TSA GYN even [TS]

00:50:48   tried I've at all [TS]

00:50:49   oh I mean I told the woman at the gate I [TS]

00:50:52   was like you know my dad my dad would [TS]

00:50:55   have this that plane back here and she [TS]

00:50:58   was like yeah a lot of things have [TS]

00:51:00   changed since the seventies and I was [TS]

00:51:02   like no I'm serious if my dad was alive [TS]

00:51:05   yeah we open this you would be opening [TS]

00:51:07   this for me that is the most flaccid [TS]

00:51:09   satisfaction demand I've ever heard i [TS]

00:51:12   could just see him going to know what [TS]

00:51:13   color I go sit down [TS]

00:51:14   ya know they were I mean we were all [TS]

00:51:16   laughing she was like yeah i mean in the [TS]

00:51:18   old days they would have brought it back [TS]

00:51:19   and they probably would've given you [TS]

00:51:20   guys free drinks now but everything's [TS]

00:51:22   everything's changed everything's [TS]

00:51:23   changing the plane is going and she's [TS]

00:51:25   like she points out the windshield like [TS]

00:51:26   see that the plane still here [TS]

00:51:28   it's still connected to the building [TS]

00:51:29   known open the door to door is shut and [TS]

00:51:33   it shuts ask me again [TS]

00:51:35   mitten it say all the things in the [TS]

00:51:37   world you want to say but this door [TS]

00:51:38   could not be more shut there aren't done [TS]

00:51:41   more shot far the phone call your dad [TS]

00:51:43   and I don't like facing back and forth i [TS]

00:51:47   was thinking maybe I should go back to [TS]

00:51:49   TSA and give that speech in any case [TS]

00:51:51   let's go back through my father [TS]

00:51:54   ja shot a Japanese zero out of the sky [TS]

00:51:57   with a 45 he wasn't supposed to have [TS]

00:52:00   through the window of his god damn [TS]

00:52:02   airplane was moving and you people [TS]

00:52:06   God isn't a training day it's a subway [TS]

00:52:11   sandwich falling from your beard but [TS]

00:52:12   this is the thing about taking food from [TS]

00:52:14   people at rock so you look at any eyes [TS]

00:52:16   looking like you look you give them [TS]

00:52:18   Israeli eyes you look at him like a like [TS]

00:52:21   a member of the Israeli airport command [TS]

00:52:24   given Israeli as nice thing is that a [TS]

00:52:27   you say are you carrying a bomb do your [TS]

00:52:31   cupcakes LSD and you and nine times out [TS]

00:52:34   of ten 99.999 percent of the time you're [TS]

00:52:37   going to get you're gonna get all you [TS]

00:52:38   know all you need to know through their [TS]

00:52:40   eyes [TS]

00:52:41   well this is probably covered in that [TS]

00:52:43   first of all this is a fantastic tip for [TS]

00:52:45   like a million things but I'm guessing [TS]

00:52:48   this is probably covered in your special [TS]

00:52:49   forces book i think this is part of [TS]

00:52:51   interrogation I i think this is part of [TS]

00:52:54   you know this phony baloney lie-detector [TS]

00:52:56   test [TS]

00:52:57   I think the problem is you mix it up [TS]

00:52:58   right you ask him a question like are [TS]

00:53:00   you okay look at me are you a long [TS]

00:53:02   winter show right now [TS]

00:53:03   yes yes are you did you make your own [TS]

00:53:06   clothes [TS]

00:53:06   yes is there always be in my kids [TS]

00:53:09   they'll stay in the cupcakes know your [TS]

00:53:13   mother's name Sally gonna mix it up and [TS]

00:53:16   you call them for a long time before you [TS]

00:53:17   said know exactly you took to let you [TS]

00:53:20   took too long i'm not touching the cakes [TS]

00:53:21   and I bet you that's what the Israeli [TS]

00:53:23   guys do here's the problem also with [TS]

00:53:24   this nonsense you're talking about and [TS]

00:53:26   that you know and I hate talking about [TS]

00:53:28   travel except i hate it so much [TS]

00:53:30   no se SI thing it's just it's just the [TS]

00:53:32   worst because first of all of these [TS]

00:53:33   folks you know they're not actually like [TS]

00:53:38   police officers right you understand [TS]

00:53:39   that they're they're basically like bank [TS]

00:53:40   tellers with fake uniforms are you [TS]

00:53:42   asking me because yes i dunno ok alright [TS]

00:53:44   these people these people could not get [TS]

00:53:46   jobs on a ball that i'm not at all I [TS]

00:53:49   mean like not not you're not saying just [TS]

00:53:51   a security guard you're saying they [TS]

00:53:52   couldn't be at the info booth they [TS]

00:53:53   couldn't be in Julie's I could make a [TS]

00:53:55   knot practicals and it cuts me at the [TS]

00:53:56   bead store the thing here's the here's [TS]

00:53:58   the problem [TS]

00:53:59   okay here's the thing this is this is [TS]

00:54:02   the thing that pisses me off the Central [TS]

00:54:04   Intelligence Agency will not hire you if [TS]

00:54:09   you have smoked marijuana or set a bad [TS]

00:54:13   thing on the internet about America or [TS]

00:54:17   done anything other than be a total [TS]

00:54:19   straight-arrow all the way through [TS]

00:54:21   school and go to Yale and be like a [TS]

00:54:25   complete ramrod up your rectum [TS]

00:54:28   mhm that's the only way you're going to [TS]

00:54:29   get it all makes sense [TS]

00:54:31   merely on the surface only on the [TS]

00:54:33   surface doesn't make sense you're like [TS]

00:54:35   so much less sense in the day-to-day [TS]

00:54:37   affairs of the CIA agent that is such a [TS]

00:54:39   terrible idea [TS]

00:54:40   correct if you are it might be good for [TS]

00:54:42   a minister that's terrible for somebody [TS]

00:54:44   who has to think like one of the folks [TS]

00:54:46   there trying to defeat if you are in the [TS]

00:54:48   field there is there is probably no [TS]

00:54:51   better CIA agent that a guy who smoked a [TS]

00:54:53   bunch of weed [TS]

00:54:55   and as a periodically trafficked in like [TS]

00:55:00   Rare tortoises and you know like and was [TS]

00:55:05   maybe a white slave trader for a while [TS]

00:55:07   like these are the God quit he quit he [TS]

00:55:10   quit because his love America compelled [TS]

00:55:13   him to go to work like the idea that [TS]

00:55:15   he's still a little bit of a wild card I [TS]

00:55:17   know I'm in no position to run the CIA [TS]

00:55:19   and I don't want to pander but if it [TS]

00:55:21   were me and I were looking at some [TS]

00:55:22   resumes or not resumes maybe i'm looking [TS]

00:55:25   at something that's been written on a [TS]

00:55:26   garbage can lid that ends up being much [TS]

00:55:27   more effective this person says you know [TS]

00:55:29   what I used to have a crippling problem [TS]

00:55:32   with alcohol and drugs i have made a lot [TS]

00:55:34   of people's life hell and I'm not afraid [TS]

00:55:37   to blow something up from in the right [TS]

00:55:38   mood you know why do i say I is fill out [TS]

00:55:41   some forms you're well informed [TS]

00:55:42   hello you don't exist will disavow all [TS]

00:55:44   knowledge of you but we need you [TS]

00:55:46   garbage anyway how many people have you [TS]

00:55:48   killed with scissors that is a question [TS]

00:55:51   that I I think should be on this year [TS]

00:55:53   because you know here's the thing it's [TS]

00:55:55   like the David Allen says write the [TS]

00:55:56   worst time to train for getting jumped [TS]

00:55:57   in an alley is when you're getting [TS]

00:55:59   jumped in an alley he's killed a lot of [TS]

00:56:00   people with scissors you get the [TS]

00:56:02   confidence to start killing people with [TS]

00:56:03   children scissors [TS]

00:56:04   once you kill people children scissors [TS]

00:56:06   he misses me yes it precisely precisely [TS]

00:56:08   left-handed safety scissors [TS]

00:56:10   those are hard you your paper gets all [TS]

00:56:11   screwed up and then how about this you [TS]

00:56:12   move to mechanical pencils and then you [TS]

00:56:14   move your fucking pinky pinky only [TS]

00:56:16   eyeball no fucking chemical pencils you [TS]

00:56:18   like him at all [TS]

00:56:19   oh I had these ones i really like a lot [TS]

00:56:21   they're called golden bears they're [TS]

00:56:23   really help you but you know there's a [TS]

00:56:24   part of you that's like Japanese that [TS]

00:56:26   part of you that's your problem is so [TS]

00:56:28   much Japanese your Japanese there's a [TS]

00:56:30   little better you that's Japanese your [TS]

00:56:31   problem is you're not you are deeply [TS]

00:56:32   french in a way that you have never [TS]

00:56:34   accepted [TS]

00:56:34   that's not true a third problem the only [TS]

00:56:37   part of me that's French is that when i [TS]

00:56:39   invade France yeah I get a little bit of [TS]

00:56:41   it on me and you give it some tongue I [TS]

00:56:44   do third-level grilled what's the third [TS]

00:56:46   level of rift ok and i have a frenemy [TS]

00:56:50   who does this is it is your nemesis now [TS]

00:56:55   he does deserve to be mrs. nobody's [TS]

00:56:57   there i have not yet met the person who [TS]

00:56:59   deserves to be my nemesis the problem is [TS]

00:57:01   only a nemesis oh you kidding me [TS]

00:57:03   my nemesis must be earned because I'm [TS]

00:57:05   trying to figure out what an evil Merlin [TS]

00:57:07   man would look like I guess pretty much [TS]

00:57:09   like me with glasses glasses something [TS]

00:57:12   now I system through muy this beautiful [TS]

00:57:14   beautiful glasses you gave me I never [TS]

00:57:16   told you about this [TS]

00:57:17   yeah well i know i'm trying to block it [TS]

00:57:19   out john III you should see the shit I'm [TS]

00:57:21   wearing now it's ridiculous it's [TS]

00:57:22   ridiculous it's not some warby parker [TS]

00:57:24   horse crap is it [TS]

00:57:26   here's the thing the guy who gives you [TS]

00:57:31   the gift [TS]

00:57:32   yeah of his checkbook was a chapbook [TS]

00:57:35   it's a self-published book of his poems [TS]

00:57:39   or essays [TS]

00:57:41   happy fucking birthday uh haha ok so I [TS]

00:57:46   know a guy and I this is this is my hand [TS]

00:57:48   my hand my hand to God he came to to an [TS]

00:57:52   event might have been like a [TS]

00:57:53   housewarming it was the flimsiest is the [TS]

00:57:56   flimsiest grift I've ever seen because [TS]

00:57:57   he shows up and if I just to define this [TS]

00:58:00   front of me in one word it would be [TS]

00:58:02   square [TS]

00:58:03   that's gonna be squeezed his way over [TS]

00:58:05   and he hands me a hastily wrapped gift [TS]

00:58:09   and goes i hope you enjoy this and and [TS]

00:58:12   it's a a signed copy of his perfect [TS]

00:58:15   mound like at kinkos a book of things [TS]

00:58:17   that he's written oh there's a lot [TS]

00:58:19   there's a lot of white space and of [TS]

00:58:21   course it's a little bit you know the [TS]

00:58:23   typefaces are a little office cute [TS]

00:58:24   because he basically xeroxed it [TS]

00:58:26   oh my God thank you so much this is so [TS]

00:58:27   nice and of course just just to be clear [TS]

00:58:28   here [TS]

00:58:29   he also in his large coat brought three [TS]

00:58:31   or four extra copies in case anybody [TS]

00:58:32   want to buy one oh that's thoughtful is [TS]

00:58:35   doing ten bucks for you right [TS]

00:58:37   okay i want to give you that copies [TS]

00:58:39   armed for free because like I mean what [TS]

00:58:43   do you say I mean like it i mean a man [TS]

00:58:46   like you you enjoy present right youyou [TS]

00:58:49   sounds to me like you're very gracious [TS]

00:58:50   about receiving a present [TS]

00:58:51   you know a true gift right but in that [TS]

00:58:54   instance let the reason I asked you here [TS]

00:58:55   for the third level grift you you're out [TS]

00:58:57   of show you got stuff you're already [TS]

00:58:59   carrying your you got a wicker basket [TS]

00:59:00   you got some you got some psychedelic [TS]

00:59:02   cupcakes you might have a hair doll that [TS]

00:59:05   looks like you got some penis cookies [TS]

00:59:06   and then some squee guy comes backstage [TS]

00:59:09   and hands you the gift of his checkbook [TS]

00:59:11   signed are not signed to keep it [TS]

00:59:15   put differently i'm sorry i don't want [TS]

00:59:17   to be binary what do you do with the [TS]

00:59:19   chapbook what do you say to squeeze boy [TS]

00:59:21   well this fall's I think into the same [TS]

00:59:24   category and and and and i hate to be [TS]

00:59:26   revealing I'd be revealing too much [TS]

00:59:28   because the same category this out if we [TS]

00:59:30   need two of the of the person who comes [TS]

00:59:32   in and gives you their CD and and I know [TS]

00:59:35   I absolutely know on the other side of [TS]

00:59:38   the line what that feels like [TS]

00:59:41   like that i made this record I really [TS]

00:59:43   really really want John Roderick to hear [TS]

00:59:47   it i really want Mermaid Man TT to read [TS]

00:59:49   my book because I really really admire [TS]

00:59:52   him and I made this thing and I'm very [TS]

00:59:54   proud of it and i really want to give up [TS]

00:59:57   just such a different thing from acting [TS]

00:59:59   like it's a present for [TS]

00:59:59   like it's a present for [TS]

01:00:00   birthday well don't think I think the [TS]

01:00:02   intentionality is important i know the [TS]

01:00:04   Buddhist but I think that's very [TS]

01:00:05   important [TS]

01:00:06   I in the end it is it's a kind of that [TS]

01:00:10   to give to give a CD to a guy at the [TS]

01:00:14   merch table and to give you hastily [TS]

01:00:17   wrapped present of his poem book of [TS]

01:00:20   poems at your birthday party [TS]

01:00:21   I don't think is different because the [TS]

01:00:27   CD and the book are going to end up in [TS]

01:00:29   the same place which is like basically [TS]

01:00:33   left in the dressing room when the bend [TS]

01:00:36   I I have a solution to this that is [TS]

01:00:38   extremely simple and extremely candid [TS]

01:00:41   and extremely good for everybody and [TS]

01:00:44   make sure with you [TS]

01:00:45   yes please do you know what I am so over [TS]

01:00:47   packed right now there's no way that I [TS]

01:00:49   could pack this could you do me a favor [TS]

01:00:51   i'm going to give you my email address [TS]

01:00:52   please send me a link to an end three of [TS]

01:00:55   your favorite song you've done [TS]

01:00:57   oh that's not a bad idea because you're [TS]

01:01:00   not is the thing is the CD is but you do [TS]

01:01:02   you listen to that link [TS]

01:01:04   yeah probably yeah but then the problem [TS]

01:01:06   is you get yourself into here's the [TS]

01:01:07   other thing so with the book part and I [TS]

01:01:09   would never say this to birthday boy [TS]

01:01:11   but but you know if somebody says you [TS]

01:01:14   know and ideas with lots of stuff [TS]

01:01:15   because people i mean you know whatever [TS]

01:01:17   i'm grateful that people are really [TS]

01:01:19   grateful that people are interested in [TS]

01:01:20   me knowing about what they do and a lot [TS]

01:01:21   of times I end up loving it and you're [TS]

01:01:23   following their work but here's what I [TS]

01:01:25   do if somebody goes check out my blog [TS]

01:01:27   and to me that's like going absorb my [TS]

01:01:30   rubra like to thank you look what I [TS]

01:01:32   always say is could you do me a favor [TS]

01:01:33   and this goes for people who suggests a [TS]

01:01:34   comic book it goes for people who like [TS]

01:01:37   some kind of a comedian [TS]

01:01:38   I'll say so could you do me a favor and [TS]

01:01:40   email me your favorite thing you've ever [TS]

01:01:43   written [TS]

01:01:44   yeah so I know you want me to watch you [TS]

01:01:46   know watch this whole five hour special [TS]

01:01:48   by sloppy jewelry's her quest ever but [TS]

01:01:50   could you send me a like a YouTube video [TS]

01:01:52   of your favorite bit and another thing [TS]

01:01:54   is here's the thing and this is this is [TS]

01:01:56   this goes straight to the stuff that I [TS]

01:01:57   care a lot about what the things that [TS]

01:01:59   aren't the show which is that like if [TS]

01:02:01   you want me to actually do that you [TS]

01:02:02   really imagine that i'm going to like [TS]

01:02:03   like treasure this chapbook no that's [TS]

01:02:06   totally lame it's all about you if you [TS]

01:02:08   really want me to enjoy this like why [TS]

01:02:09   don't you send me something that's an [TS]

01:02:10   easy in row two loving you rather than [TS]

01:02:13   forcing that on me and then making me [TS]

01:02:14   feel bad that like now I have to pack a [TS]

01:02:16   CD [TS]

01:02:17   I mean how many CDs can you pack i [TS]

01:02:19   really like that idea i don't think [TS]

01:02:20   anything honestly i will read that i [TS]

01:02:22   will actually read that and i will [TS]

01:02:23   actually listen to that honestly if you [TS]

01:02:25   give me a wet with CD [TS]

01:02:27   ok give me a CD player 2 i'll just [TS]

01:02:28   hopped in my bag uh-huh i'll put on here [TS]

01:02:31   I'll put in here with my reel-to-reel of [TS]

01:02:34   you know kraftwerk covers that somebody [TS]

01:02:35   gave me people have been asking me a you [TS]

01:02:39   know free for now decades who like how I [TS]

01:02:42   discover new music and I discover new [TS]

01:02:46   music the way anybody does [TS]

01:02:48   I either by either a matter show and I [TS]

01:02:50   see a band that I that surprises me or I [TS]

01:02:55   somebody that I like or trust says you [TS]

01:02:58   should listen to this and i have never [TS]

01:03:00   discovered new music because somebody [TS]

01:03:02   that i didn't know came up to me at my [TS]

01:03:03   own merch table and handed me a CT and I [TS]

01:03:06   don't really like to just to be clear [TS]

01:03:07   don't sound like a dick here I don't [TS]

01:03:08   like my UI that I have done that I've [TS]

01:03:10   wasted my music on you I foisted started [TS]

01:03:12   I don't know why you would do it too but [TS]

01:03:14   it doesn't work if this idea of saying [TS]

01:03:16   send me the show me one thing that you [TS]

01:03:19   are the proud of stuff [TS]

01:03:20   mhm is it does it have an absolutely [TS]

01:03:23   that I i think that is a workable [TS]

01:03:25   solution man and I think that we should [TS]

01:03:27   all as a group of people as a community [TS]

01:03:29   of like-minded individuals we should all [TS]

01:03:31   adopt that policy here and forth with [TS]

01:03:34   send me your best thing send me one [TS]

01:03:36   thing your best thing [TS]

01:03:38   do not make it a 5 your best thing [TS]

01:03:40   cannot be of 5,000 word documents [TS]

01:03:42   yeah it is it should be a thing that I [TS]

01:03:44   can digest in three minutes and if it is [TS]

01:03:48   great and that include where I can find [TS]

01:03:50   you know where I can follow up but one [TS]

01:03:53   thing one thing [TS]

01:03:54   yeah that's a no that's not that's not [TS]

01:03:56   about it if the hair doll you know just [TS]

01:03:58   given your home address if it's a hair [TS]

01:04:00   darling animality regular delivered [TS]

01:04:02   don't know how somebody's going to give [TS]

01:04:04   you a doll made of hair looking like [TS]

01:04:07   years that little hairs that they're [TS]

01:04:10   gonna bring you a dollar of hair that [TS]

01:04:11   they've collected from your hair over [TS]

01:04:13   the [TS]

01:04:15   good clippings or tears make room in [TS]

01:04:18   your suitcase [TS]

01:04:19   ah get that thing that damage on I wish [TS]

01:04:22   I could believe this [TS]

01:04:23   I I don't believe this i think next time [TS]

01:04:25   I see you you know what I was about to [TS]

01:04:26   say i want to search your bag but that's [TS]

01:04:28   about the last thing in the world that I [TS]

01:04:29   want to do i but ok alright fine and so [TS]

01:04:33   if i come to your home and i will be [TS]

01:04:34   coming home soon for the thing we're [TS]

01:04:35   doing which we should talk about the [TS]

01:04:37   show when it's time all right um you're [TS]

01:04:39   telling me i will find I will find her [TS]

01:04:40   dolls and in and penis cakes at your [TS]

01:04:42   house looking around the room where I [TS]

01:04:45   said mhm you get hats you got am Jose a [TS]

01:04:48   lot of old military uniform handguns [TS]

01:04:50   goggles [TS]

01:04:52   well so many globes are you got gloves i [TS]

01:04:55   totally get my daughter globe [TS]

01:04:57   I got a globe for her if you don't if [TS]

01:04:58   you don't send the cello can i get when [TS]

01:05:00   you're less costly globes [TS]

01:05:01   I'm gonna get you think the gloves are [TS]

01:05:03   less costly but in fact all my globes [TS]

01:05:05   are vintage globes but I have one for [TS]

01:05:07   your daughter are all glogs vintage at [TS]

01:05:09   this point to people as other globe es [TS]

01:05:11   anymore to people make globes people do [TS]

01:05:13   make loans but new gloves are gross [TS]

01:05:16   unless you spend a lot of this new [TS]

01:05:17   borders they just don't fucking make any [TS]

01:05:18   sense anymore all these all these all [TS]

01:05:20   these namby-pamby new boarders we've got [TS]

01:05:22   I've got three World War 10 the [TS]

01:05:26   offensive all the offensive names i [TS]

01:05:28   would love it you know I'm torn on this [TS]

01:05:30   because you get your different [TS]

01:05:31   projections people starting five you [TS]

01:05:32   have a strong feeling about projections [TS]

01:05:34   to I have a strong feeling about [TS]

01:05:36   projects do you mind for Western mind [TS]

01:05:39   Mercator projection that is your [TS]

01:05:40   question do I have a strong feeling [TS]

01:05:42   about projections can't have just one [TS]

01:05:46   opportunity to reframe the question for [TS]

01:05:48   you go ahead [TS]

01:05:49   first of all I apologize i hope you're [TS]

01:05:51   satisfied with my apology [TS]

01:05:53   Tom do you prefer your advisement um [TS]

01:05:56   could you would you mind sharing with me [TS]

01:05:57   your your preference in globe [TS]

01:06:00   projections well maps to maps I mean we [TS]

01:06:03   got a wall map first of all you are [TS]

01:06:04   talking about maps because globes do not [TS]

01:06:06   have different projections that sure [TS]

01:06:08   they always popular [TS]

01:06:09   well yes the problem with a projection [TS]

01:06:11   is that this year's guys to be [TS]

01:06:13   distortion well you're trying to put a [TS]

01:06:16   around thing onto a flat surface right [TS]

01:06:19   that is the problem with the projection [TS]

01:06:21   you're trying to you're trying to make [TS]

01:06:23   the earth [TS]

01:06:25   beyond flattered but isn't accurate that [TS]

01:06:27   no matter what you you basically [TS]

01:06:29   choosing which kind of distortion you [TS]

01:06:30   can live with right and the thing about [TS]

01:06:32   a globe is that I mean there are there [TS]

01:06:34   are gloves that are like less children [TS]

01:06:37   travel of globes at all that but it's [TS]

01:06:39   not it's not a present a problem of [TS]

01:06:41   projection it's Antarctica is always the [TS]

01:06:43   same size on the globe like mile for [TS]

01:06:45   mile [TS]

01:06:45   yes ok if it's I mean if it isn't if [TS]

01:06:48   it's a real geographically accurate glow [TS]

01:06:51   but isn't it doesn't like salvation [TS]

01:06:53   Antarctica has been made to look bigger [TS]

01:06:55   to in order to make North America look [TS]

01:06:58   bigger that's racist [TS]

01:06:59   yeah that is racist but there are you [TS]

01:07:03   know there are a lot of projections that [TS]

01:07:06   I then I hate you can you think of one [TS]

01:07:09   that particularly sticks in your craw [TS]

01:07:12   well the most common one the Mercator [TS]

01:07:14   you don't like the volcano could you [TS]

01:07:15   give me just a couple of bullets on i [TS]

01:07:17   know a lot of people have a problem [TS]

01:07:18   Mercator projection I don't know much [TS]

01:07:19   about it [TS]

01:07:20   this is the one where it splits into [TS]

01:07:21   like it looks a little bit like somebody [TS]

01:07:23   took out like made an orange with like [TS]

01:07:26   four pieces right is that it's you know [TS]

01:07:28   what I mean like a shape of an orange [TS]

01:07:29   slice it kinda looks like that [TS]

01:07:31   no the Mercator projection is the one [TS]

01:07:33   where they have they have not made of [TS]

01:07:35   stone and father with you were just two [TS]

01:07:36   feet flat just like that where Greenland [TS]

01:07:40   is bigger than South America is that is [TS]

01:07:43   the that is the Mercator projection [TS]

01:07:44   where that's the one where Alaska looks [TS]

01:07:47   like a huge face on the top of a love [TS]

01:07:51   like this tiny shrinking little north [TS]

01:07:53   america is an inaccurate face Alaska [TS]

01:07:57   does look like a face but it should [TS]

01:07:59   Alaska should be and it's Alaska should [TS]

01:08:01   have its nice little area i mean i like [TS]

01:08:05   the like an Eckerd projection [TS]

01:08:08   I mean if you're going to have a if [TS]

01:08:10   you're going to have it on a flat thing [TS]

01:08:11   and not have it also exploded like an [TS]

01:08:13   orange peel [TS]

01:08:13   uh-huh but now I you know I like I like [TS]

01:08:15   a lot of like those projections where [TS]

01:08:17   we're at it it makes sense where the [TS]

01:08:20   earth is upside down and you look at [TS]

01:08:22   doesn't have to do any less because i [TS]

01:08:24   think that that you know get your mind [TS]

01:08:26   thinking a little differently when you [TS]

01:08:27   see the upside down [TS]

01:08:28   well you can now you can approximate it [TS]

01:08:30   by taking a map and turning it upside [TS]

01:08:31   down [TS]

01:08:32   ok so you literally ok you can do any [TS]

01:08:36   map you can turn any map upside down [TS]

01:08:38   you sure about that [TS]

01:08:39   i'm going to say right now I'm gonna go [TS]

01:08:41   on record and say any map you can turn [TS]

01:08:44   upside down [TS]

01:08:44   could you get on something like that [TS]

01:08:46   like that like a what would that be like [TS]

01:08:47   a lazy susan [TS]

01:08:48   no offense I she's like a lot i like a [TS]

01:08:51   lot of control [TS]

01:08:52   yeah she's turns a little lazy because [TS]

01:08:54   she's lazy man that doesn't understand [TS]

01:08:57   her Twitter understand her Twitter I [TS]

01:09:00   don't look in fact I don't follow it you [TS]

01:09:04   believe that um bad bad but I don't [TS]

01:09:07   not only did you look in sometimes I I [TS]

01:09:10   peeking okay you know i have I you know [TS]

01:09:13   what I can't get into it but if you had [TS]

01:09:14   a lazy susan on your wall a vertical [TS]

01:09:16   lazy susan it seems to me then that way [TS]

01:09:18   you get the best of both worlds so to [TS]

01:09:19   speak you get the upside down world of [TS]

01:09:22   the Ainu view of the earth and then you [TS]

01:09:24   can always flip it around to make sure [TS]

01:09:25   you're reading romania correctly going [TS]

01:09:27   or do you read upside down you can put I [TS]

01:09:30   can yes you can post a you can post up a [TS]

01:09:33   map on the ceiling above your bed and [TS]

01:09:34   then flip it around so that you feed on [TS]

01:09:37   your pillow and your head is full of the [TS]

01:09:38   bend your knees and then all you're [TS]

01:09:40   doing is sleeping a little different [TS]

01:09:41   that's pretty good yeah well that's it [TS]

01:09:43   works except I like a little space [TS]

01:09:46   between the mattress and the footboard [TS]

01:09:48   and if you flip it around then that's [TS]

01:09:52   when you gotta move your gotta move your [TS]

01:09:54   chin and sweet centerfold your report on [TS]

01:09:58   the ceiling are no it's not my style [TS]

01:10:02   either [TS]

01:10:02   oh I did I did not ever have a of a have [TS]

01:10:06   a picture of a girl in a bikini lounging [TS]

01:10:08   on the hood of a Lamborghini you never [TS]

01:10:09   said she had bikini [TS]

01:10:12   you know the one porno e thing I ever [TS]

01:10:16   hang on my wall was a very early days [TS]

01:10:22   take him out not withstand a tinkerbell [TS]

01:10:25   notwithstanding and actually I do have a [TS]

01:10:26   picture of a naked girl my wall right [TS]

01:10:27   now but she is burnt she is that it's a [TS]

01:10:30   it's a playboy poster that has been [TS]

01:10:32   shellacked to a piece of wood and that's [TS]

01:10:35   it [TS]

01:10:35   it's a good have been burned haha [TS]

01:10:38   this is johnny is shiny shiny and just [TS]

01:10:43   she's standing in a wheat field issues [TS]

01:10:44   offers and he's burning but it's I think [TS]

01:10:49   that that's got to somehow hook up with [TS]

01:10:51   some buddies like three of somebody's [TS]

01:10:53   very special things and says it's an [TS]

01:10:55   amazing piece and it is it's almost [TS]

01:10:57   life-size this girl is its practical [TS]

01:10:59   skills four feet tall [TS]

01:11:01   what you need is like a squeegee a [TS]

01:11:03   couple seconds and you're good to go [TS]

01:11:05   well I could also put legs on to make it [TS]

01:11:07   a coffee [TS]

01:11:10   ok it's a good out there [TS]