Roderick on the Line

00:00:00 ◼   ► hello hi John [TS]

00:00:07 ◼   ► hi Merlin are you remove them [TS]

00:00:11 ◼   ► you know i worry about you and I worry [TS]

00:00:18 ◼   ► about the Freddie Mercury estate coming [TS]

00:00:19 ◼   ► after me [TS]

00:00:20 ◼   ► yeah i understand that it's really [TS]

00:00:22 ◼   ► powerful lawyers [TS]

00:00:23 ◼   ► mhm you know yeah sometimes the the [TS]

00:00:27 ◼   ► family can be pretty tightly wound about [TS]

00:00:30 ◼   ► the intellectual property of dead people [TS]

00:00:32 ◼   ► you know this right we talk about the [TS]

00:00:33 ◼   ► family of a dead creative person who is [TS]

00:00:36 ◼   ► now living off of the creative person's [TS]

00:00:39 ◼   ► creative works out of the dead and all [TS]

00:00:42 ◼   ► the fat of the bed I can get to the [TS]

00:00:46 ◼   ► elvis presley family God love them they [TS]

00:00:48 ◼   ► all license his name and likeness to be [TS]

00:00:51 ◼   ► on pretty much everything that's one by [TS]

00:00:54 ◼   ► one that really gets me is a voice guys [TS]

00:00:56 ◼   ► such a cocksucker james joyce's grandson [TS]

00:00:58 ◼   ► you know about him i have heard about [TS]

00:01:00 ◼   ► the the difficulty in dealing with james [TS]

00:01:02 ◼   ► joyce's grandson [TS]

00:01:03 ◼   ► it's one thing to be a businessman and [TS]

00:01:05 ◼   ► it's another thing to deliberately be a [TS]

00:01:07 ◼   ► dick [TS]

00:01:08 ◼   ► women are you implying that you have [TS]

00:01:10 ◼   ► tried to license or creative leak use [TS]

00:01:13 ◼   ► the works of james joyce and have been [TS]

00:01:15 ◼   ► thwarted by his grandson [TS]

00:01:16 ◼   ► yeah I had a whole hip-hop opera or as i [TS]

00:01:18 ◼   ► like to call it a hip hopera he called [TS]

00:01:21 ◼   ► MC Ulysses i guess i'm not sure haha [TS]

00:01:24 ◼   ► yeah and then they say they put the [TS]

00:01:27 ◼   ► kibosh on it we who [TS]

00:01:29 ◼   ► oh my god yeah that's just not right you [TS]

00:01:31 ◼   ► know a person should be able to [TS]

00:01:33 ◼   ► reincorporate another artist's work in a [TS]

00:01:36 ◼   ► in an additional work and not have to [TS]

00:01:39 ◼   ► deal with a bunch of upset grandsons [TS]

00:01:41 ◼   ► yeah I'm sorry for that murder yeah well [TS]

00:01:44 ◼   ► you know I mean like thank you very much [TS]

00:01:46 ◼   ► but you know there's the whole thing I [TS]

00:01:47 ◼   ► don't get into copyright and stuck his [TS]

00:01:48 ◼   ► boy that's so boring [TS]

00:01:50 ◼   ► well I mean it can be pointing like [TS]

00:01:51 ◼   ► there's the whole thing that appears to [TS]

00:01:53 ◼   ► be true which is that the disney [TS]

00:01:54 ◼   ► corporation right about the time Mickey [TS]

00:01:57 ◼   ► Mouse is about to run out they find some [TS]

00:01:59 ◼   ► way to extend copyright and whatever [TS]

00:02:01 ◼   ► they're made out of filthy lucre sure [TS]

00:02:02 ◼   ► but you know James Joyce come on that's [TS]

00:02:05 ◼   ► that's pretty there's a pretty old books [TS]

00:02:07 ◼   ► yeah I knew who is it even ever heard of [TS]

00:02:09 ◼   ► him yeah right let alone read it [TS]

00:02:12 ◼   ► he's not like Mickey Mouse yeah [TS]

00:02:14 ◼   ► you know Mickey Mouse like that's like [TS]

00:02:15 ◼   ► the American flag [TS]

00:02:17 ◼   ► you know I started Steamboat Willie [TS]

00:02:19 ◼   ► probably five times and never made it [TS]

00:02:21 ◼   ► past the first chapter [TS]

00:02:24 ◼   ► well the problem is there are so many [TS]

00:02:25 ◼   ► biblical references if you haven't read [TS]

00:02:27 ◼   ► the Bible all the way through [TS]

00:02:29 ◼   ► yeah you're not going to get a lot of [TS]

00:02:30 ◼   ► the lot of the subtext of Steamboat [TS]

00:02:32 ◼   ► Willie especially the non-canonical [TS]

00:02:34 ◼   ► Gospels you got you got a saint a saint [TS]

00:02:38 ◼   ► Jackie you got the same day same really [TS]

00:02:41 ◼   ► obviously yeah you know I'm still [TS]

00:02:43 ◼   ► catching up by the reason I'm late as I [TS]

00:02:44 ◼   ► had to make coffee so i'm still kind of [TS]

00:02:46 ◼   ► waking up a little bit yeah well i'm a [TS]

00:02:48 ◼   ► i-i-i I understand that a lot of people [TS]

00:02:51 ◼   ► assume that I am doing this podcast [TS]

00:02:54 ◼   ► mostly nude most of the time I didn't [TS]

00:02:57 ◼   ► until now but uh but today it's actually [TS]

00:03:00 ◼   ► true i'm completely naked [TS]

00:03:02 ◼   ► oh god and i would like to be known as [TS]

00:03:05 ◼   ► Steamboat Willie for the rest of the [TS]

00:03:06 ◼   ► part not a problem with Lee I think now [TS]

00:03:14 ◼   ► here's the thing about disney that [TS]

00:03:16 ◼   ► that's crazy-making is how much how i [TS]

00:03:18 ◼   ► mean again this is every nerd on the [TS]

00:03:20 ◼   ► internet knows the ship backwards and [TS]

00:03:21 ◼   ► forwards but they get so much of their [TS]

00:03:23 ◼   ► stuff from like free like content from [TS]

00:03:27 ◼   ► the culture like they didn't write [TS]

00:03:28 ◼   ► snow-white they didn't right Sleeping [TS]

00:03:30 ◼   ► Beauty they didn't they didn't write [TS]

00:03:32 ◼   ► much anything right now this stuff is [TS]

00:03:34 ◼   ► very much a German fairy tales [TS]

00:03:36 ◼   ► yeah we'll take turns yeah with the [TS]

00:03:37 ◼   ► Germans again with the German and who [TS]

00:03:39 ◼   ► why i like the way we can make that [TS]

00:03:41 ◼   ► happen every time haha yeah never simple [TS]

00:03:44 ◼   ► yet all their own there we go here comes [TS]

00:03:46 ◼   ► god 1 i'm pretty sure [TS]

00:03:48 ◼   ► Steamboat Willie is a parody parody but [TS]

00:03:52 ◼   ► you know it's a buster keaton right [TS]

00:03:55 ◼   ► oh interesting when I was supposed to do [TS]

00:03:58 ◼   ► that [TS]

00:03:59 ◼   ► Steamboat Willie dance you know the one [TS]

00:04:00 ◼   ► where he's kinda like he's doing a [TS]

00:04:01 ◼   ► little bit of a bump on bom bom bom-bom [TS]

00:04:05 ◼   ► he's got you know the steamboat willie [TS]

00:04:08 ◼   ► dance from that and I think that's good [TS]

00:04:11 ◼   ► you're gonna have to claim that now that [TS]

00:04:12 ◼   ► your volleyball but for a long time all [TS]

00:04:16 ◼   ► they knew how to do an animation was [TS]

00:04:18 ◼   ► slow-moving dinosaurs nice moving the [TS]

00:04:21 ◼   ► hips and people whistling also flowers [TS]

00:04:22 ◼   ► flowers doing this kind of arm-waving [TS]

00:04:24 ◼   ► dancing pretty flowers doing arm [TS]

00:04:27 ◼   ► waving dance I'm a hundred percent [TS]

00:04:28 ◼   ► behind i love wish I really wish mouse [TS]

00:04:30 ◼   ► are really wish mice moving their hips [TS]

00:04:33 ◼   ► was was still a more popular mean in [TS]

00:04:35 ◼   ► video culture [TS]

00:04:36 ◼   ► I'm i can see that being big at [TS]

00:04:38 ◼   ► comic-con I saw last night i was [TS]

00:04:40 ◼   ► standing out in front of a bar I don't [TS]

00:04:43 ◼   ► know why I was there but there was any [TS]

00:04:47 ◼   ► didn't know for different reasons than [TS]

00:04:49 ◼   ► you would have known saved a couple [TS]

00:04:51 ◼   ► decades ago [TS]

00:04:52 ◼   ► yeah i'm standing outside of a bar it's [TS]

00:04:53 ◼   ► not that I don't know why I'm there [TS]

00:04:54 ◼   ► because I'm insensibly intoxicated [TS]

00:04:57 ◼   ► it's that i was writing my Vespa and I [TS]

00:04:59 ◼   ► saw a person that I knew and I pulled [TS]

00:05:01 ◼   ► over i'm talking to them and a rat comes [TS]

00:05:05 ◼   ► out from underneath a car that's right [TS]

00:05:07 ◼   ► right next to us and the street is kind [TS]

00:05:09 ◼   ► of you know half it's not full of people [TS]

00:05:11 ◼   ► but it's half full of people and the rat [TS]

00:05:13 ◼   ► comes out and starts a big rat and he he [TS]

00:05:16 ◼   ► sees that there are a bunch of people on [TS]

00:05:19 ◼   ► the sidewalk and he knows he needs to go [TS]

00:05:20 ◼   ► a different direction so he he cuts [TS]

00:05:23 ◼   ► across the street kind of diagonally and [TS]

00:05:26 ◼   ► of course we all notice this guy he's a [TS]

00:05:28 ◼   ► big he's a big guy and he's moving he's [TS]

00:05:31 ◼   ► moving fast he's doing that thing where [TS]

00:05:32 ◼   ► is moving so fast that is his tail is [TS]

00:05:34 ◼   ► kind of it's like it's like the key on a [TS]

00:05:38 ◼   ► windup toy its kind of spinning around [TS]

00:05:39 ◼   ► like groaning like a motor boat [TS]

00:05:41 ◼   ► propeller and heads across the street [TS]

00:05:44 ◼   ► and somebody comes out of a a doorway [TS]

00:05:46 ◼   ► and he's like Oh course direct course [TS]

00:05:49 ◼   ► change any changes course and runs right [TS]

00:05:51 ◼   ► into a this guy coming out of the next [TS]

00:05:57 ◼   ► door down walking his little wiener dog [TS]

00:06:01 ◼   ► in the middle of the night like I walks [TS]

00:06:03 ◼   ► out the door and the little wiener dog [TS]

00:06:04 ◼   ► basically steps out the door and the rat [TS]

00:06:07 ◼   ► runs into his mouth and the wiener dog [TS]

00:06:10 ◼   ► absolutely loses his mind and chases [TS]

00:06:13 ◼   ► this rat like into the bushes you're [TS]

00:06:16 ◼   ► saying he has it that hasn't been bred [TS]

00:06:18 ◼   ► out of him yet [TS]

00:06:19 ◼   ► no he's still about you still a badger [TS]

00:06:21 ◼   ► hound he was so excited that finally and [TS]

00:06:24 ◼   ► and I had this i have this picture of [TS]

00:06:26 ◼   ► this weiner dog living on the sky in a [TS]

00:06:29 ◼   ► living in a studio apartment in this [TS]

00:06:31 ◼   ► apartment building in the middle of [TS]

00:06:32 ◼   ► Seattle's Capitol Hill he probably [TS]

00:06:34 ◼   ► sleeps all day on a honor like a pink [TS]

00:06:37 ◼   ► sheepskin rug people probably feed him [TS]

00:06:40 ◼   ► little niblets and put and like shampoo [TS]

00:06:44 ◼   ► his hair this little guy and he walked [TS]

00:06:46 ◼   ► out in the middle of the night to go on [TS]

00:06:48 ◼   ► his like once around the block poop run [TS]

00:06:50 ◼   ► but tonight was different [TS]

00:06:53 ◼   ► tonight a five-pound rack ran right into [TS]

00:06:57 ◼   ► his like face basically and this dog [TS]

00:06:59 ◼   ► went into the bushes and what you know [TS]

00:07:02 ◼   ► everybody's cheering at this point on [TS]

00:07:03 ◼   ► the street like yeah and the dog goes [TS]

00:07:07 ◼   ► into the bushes and I was there for 45 [TS]

00:07:08 ◼   ► minutes I never saw the dog again the [TS]

00:07:11 ◼   ► dog went he thats thing in his little [TS]

00:07:13 ◼   ► heart his little wiener dog desire to go [TS]

00:07:16 ◼   ► down a hole after a rat it all came back [TS]

00:07:20 ◼   ► to him [TS]

00:07:21 ◼   ► isn't that amazing he's probably down in [TS]

00:07:23 ◼   ► the sewers right now you got a tasty got [TS]

00:07:25 ◼   ► a taste of blood his little pink ribbons [TS]

00:07:28 ◼   ► all covered with with red blood through [TS]

00:07:30 ◼   ► with rat blood and in and gross and he's [TS]

00:07:33 ◼   ► just down there like a monster [TS]

00:07:35 ◼   ► oh my god that is so cool now was he off [TS]

00:07:38 ◼   ► leash or just because it was one of [TS]

00:07:41 ◼   ► those like you know the guy the guy that [TS]

00:07:43 ◼   ► was taking him for a walk was kind of [TS]

00:07:44 ◼   ► like in his pajamas almost it was it was [TS]

00:07:47 ◼   ► clearly a okay i know you have to go pee [TS]

00:07:50 ◼   ► or let's go downstairs and there's a [TS]

00:07:53 ◼   ► middle of the night but it was a it was [TS]

00:07:56 ◼   ► a perfect storm for this little wiener [TS]

00:07:57 ◼   ► dog if you think about that you think [TS]

00:08:00 ◼   ► about that dog I mean I imagine in in [TS]

00:08:02 ◼   ► time [TS]

00:08:03 ◼   ► like most of us he gets used to his [TS]

00:08:06 ◼   ► environment now you've spoken at length [TS]

00:08:07 ◼   ► and I think you've helped a lot of [TS]

00:08:08 ◼   ► people with with helping them to [TS]

00:08:10 ◼   ► understand that there's a basic animal [TS]

00:08:12 ◼   ► nature in us that we are squashing or [TS]

00:08:15 ◼   ► allowing to be squashed down i'm telling [TS]

00:08:17 ◼   ► you is I think it sounds like this is [TS]

00:08:18 ◼   ► the dachshund version of a slightly [TS]

00:08:20 ◼   ► nicer supermax prison he gives to come [TS]

00:08:22 ◼   ► out and shoot baskets for like an hour a [TS]

00:08:24 ◼   ► day right [TS]

00:08:25 ◼   ► he's you know that you like that place [TS]

00:08:27 ◼   ► where they send the supercriminals yeah [TS]

00:08:29 ◼   ► it's a it's a healer is living a life [TS]

00:08:32 ◼   ► where he can do nothing but it's not [TS]

00:08:35 ◼   ► that bad at the same time it's like the [TS]

00:08:37 ◼   ► way the shield puts all the really bad [TS]

00:08:39 ◼   ► super villains way underground this [TS]

00:08:41 ◼   ► guy's limits their come out there do [TS]

00:08:42 ◼   ► this do the supervillains get to play [TS]

00:08:44 ◼   ► basketball for an hour day that depends [TS]

00:08:46 ◼   ► on what there's with their skills are by [TS]

00:08:47 ◼   ► and large they're kept in some kind of a [TS]

00:08:48 ◼   ► state in which their powers [TS]

00:08:50 ◼   ► are you know a check which is longer if [TS]

00:08:53 ◼   ► your power was to turn rubber balls into [TS]

00:08:55 ◼   ► ballistic missiles they probably [TS]

00:08:57 ◼   ► wouldn't let you have to play that for [TS]

00:08:59 ◼   ► slam-dunking because I would just be too [TS]

00:09:00 ◼   ► fun but in this case so if I understand [TS]

00:09:02 ◼   ► correctly at docs wound is is not to [TS]

00:09:05 ◼   ► look this up i believe that is that is [TS]

00:09:06 ◼   ► indeed German for Bajor hound and was [TS]

00:09:09 ◼   ► their job they bred them in it to be [TS]

00:09:11 ◼   ► this hideous little creatures that they [TS]

00:09:13 ◼   ► are so that their bodies could go down a [TS]

00:09:15 ◼   ► hole to chase the Badgers that your [TS]

00:09:17 ◼   ► understanding that is my understanding [TS]

00:09:18 ◼   ► he letting the dogs all those dogs are [TS]

00:09:21 ◼   ► little routers every dog with it all of [TS]

00:09:24 ◼   ► the dogs that people are carrying in [TS]

00:09:25 ◼   ► their purses now were originally [TS]

00:09:28 ◼   ► designed to chase rats into holes and [TS]

00:09:32 ◼   ► it's the craziest it's the it's the [TS]

00:09:35 ◼   ► craziest like psychic disconnect in our [TS]

00:09:37 ◼   ► culture that these these these creatures [TS]

00:09:39 ◼   ► that are being treated like that's [TS]

00:09:43 ◼   ► children are actually they're only [TS]

00:09:48 ◼   ► reason for existence is to grab rats by [TS]

00:09:51 ◼   ► the face and chew until the until the [TS]

00:09:54 ◼   ► rat is dead [TS]

00:09:55 ◼   ► there's no there's nothing cuddly about [TS]

00:09:57 ◼   ► these things they're monsters [TS]

00:09:59 ◼   ► if you think we've got an email before [TS]

00:10:01 ◼   ► about but and I don't even know if you [TS]

00:10:04 ◼   ► can find my email I don't look at it to [TS]

00:10:06 ◼   ► have fun if you if you can get away for [TS]

00:10:07 ◼   ► dog for a minute here's the thing you [TS]

00:10:11 ◼   ► think we've heard from heard about [TS]

00:10:12 ◼   ► bronies you know I think we heard about [TS]

00:10:14 ◼   ► bronies boy up with cum some email is [TS]

00:10:17 ◼   ► like walking down the street the other [TS]

00:10:19 ◼   ► night in an ironic t-shirt that I think [TS]

00:10:22 ◼   ► was not ironic he had it was a big [TS]

00:10:24 ◼   ► t-shirt that said brownie on it in my [TS]

00:10:25 ◼   ► neighborhood [TS]

00:10:27 ◼   ► no no I'm I my thing John by increasing [TS]

00:10:31 ◼   ► understanding of brownie culture is that [TS]

00:10:33 ◼   ► there is no there is no ironic like use [TS]

00:10:39 ◼   ► of brownie by spice street culture like [TS]

00:10:43 ◼   ► if you say if your t-shirt says brownie [TS]

00:10:45 ◼   ► you are a brownie you're not kidding [TS]

00:10:46 ◼   ► around [TS]

00:10:47 ◼   ► mmm i think there are even there are [TS]

00:10:50 ◼   ► even sarcastic juggalos I I knew a girl [TS]

00:10:54 ◼   ► in Wisconsin who had a juggalo tattoo eh [TS]

00:11:00 ◼   ► like the hatchet wielding dude which I'm [TS]

00:11:03 ◼   ► sure even sure he has a name badge will [TS]

00:11:06 ◼   ► indeed she had a juggalo tattoo and I [TS]

00:11:08 ◼   ► and I am I remarked upon it because it [TS]

00:11:12 ◼   ► was in a place that you wouldn't it's [TS]

00:11:13 ◼   ► not like you're gonna see it in normal [TS]

00:11:16 ◼   ► encounters weather was on like a steady [TS]

00:11:17 ◼   ► job and a place you would normally see a [TS]

00:11:22 ◼   ► juggalette you choose and she was like a [TS]

00:11:25 ◼   ► perfectly well I'm not gonna say [TS]

00:11:27 ◼   ► perfectly normal but she was a team and [TS]

00:11:29 ◼   ► she passed [TS]

00:11:30 ◼   ► yeah she passed and i said so and this [TS]

00:11:32 ◼   ► was a long time ago I was like so what's [TS]

00:11:34 ◼   ► the juggalo think she was like oh I [TS]

00:11:38 ◼   ► think those guys are so hilarious and I [TS]

00:11:40 ◼   ► just really I just think they're awesome [TS]

00:11:42 ◼   ► and i just got this because it was very [TS]

00:11:45 ◼   ► much a hipster ironic juggalo tension so [TS]

00:11:49 ◼   ► how can deepen the stacked you have to [TS]

00:11:51 ◼   ► be for that to make anything like sense [TS]

00:11:53 ◼   ► but this is the thing about tattoos and [TS]

00:11:55 ◼   ► I see this all the time there is a there [TS]

00:11:57 ◼   ► is a sub set of the rationale for [TS]

00:12:00 ◼   ► getting tattoos that are really just you [TS]

00:12:03 ◼   ► people get tattoos that are responses to [TS]

00:12:07 ◼   ► other tattoos or in jokes like they're [TS]

00:12:09 ◼   ► the tattoo clichés like the girl with [TS]

00:12:12 ◼   ► the dolphin jumping over a rainbow a [TS]

00:12:16 ◼   ► tattoo on the small of her back but then [TS]

00:12:18 ◼   ► there are the guys who get a who get a [TS]

00:12:21 ◼   ► killer whale jumping over a rainbow [TS]

00:12:25 ◼   ► that's eating a dolphin and it really [TS]

00:12:28 ◼   ► only makes sense if you understand that [TS]

00:12:29 ◼   ► there's a dolphin jumping over a rainbow [TS]

00:12:31 ◼   ► a cliché you know and that's not even [TS]

00:12:35 ◼   ► amusing is a shirt [TS]

00:12:36 ◼   ► it isn't it's not amusing at all but it [TS]

00:12:38 ◼   ► is a but it's a whole part of the tattoo [TS]

00:12:41 ◼   ► culture people show you their tattoos [TS]

00:12:43 ◼   ► and it's like oh and this one is like do [TS]

00:12:46 ◼   ► you get this one [TS]

00:12:48 ◼   ► I mean they're like little they're like [TS]

00:12:49 ◼   ► little puzzles that if you don't [TS]

00:12:50 ◼   ► understand what what you don't [TS]

00:12:53 ◼   ► understand tattoo culture then you're [TS]

00:12:54 ◼   ► not gonna understand this referential [TS]

00:12:57 ◼   ► tattoo and but but as far as brownie ism [TS]

00:13:01 ◼   ► goes I don't think that there i don't [TS]

00:13:03 ◼   ► think that there are like people living [TS]

00:13:05 ◼   ► in the straight world who get ironic [TS]

00:13:06 ◼   ► brownie tattoos because it's already so [TS]

00:13:08 ◼   ► confusing about like whether bronies are [TS]

00:13:12 ◼   ► ICS are currently [TS]

00:13:14 ◼   ► isn't an audience yet for brownie [TS]

00:13:16 ◼   ► organism [TS]

00:13:17 ◼   ► no although brownie is expanding by [TS]

00:13:20 ◼   ► leaps and bounds [TS]

00:13:21 ◼   ► you mean geographically or in terms of [TS]

00:13:23 ◼   ► the scope of their not irony i think the [TS]

00:13:26 ◼   ► like just culturally it is becoming a [TS]

00:13:27 ◼   ► thing faster than anybody can faster [TS]

00:13:29 ◼   ► than we can build the canopy the the [TS]

00:13:32 ◼   ► monitoring stations to keep tabs on all [TS]

00:13:35 ◼   ► these people [TS]

00:13:36 ◼   ► ok so in time you could move out in [TS]

00:13:38 ◼   ► concentric circles to a strawberry [TS]

00:13:39 ◼   ► shortcake origem being truly outrageous [TS]

00:13:42 ◼   ► i think you can but I think out as time [TS]

00:13:44 ◼   ► goes on we will start to see nann [TS]

00:13:46 ◼   ► bronies adopting brownie culture [TS]

00:13:47 ◼   ► unknowingly just like Liz that's exactly [TS]

00:13:51 ◼   ► right there will be appropriation upon [TS]

00:13:53 ◼   ► appropriation and then pretty soon [TS]

00:13:55 ◼   ► people will be using sparkle power to [TS]

00:14:00 ◼   ► just go about their normal day and it's [TS]

00:14:02 ◼   ► like do you even know what sparkle power [TS]

00:14:03 ◼   ► is it's derived from a thing that that [TS]

00:14:06 ◼   ► you know that actually means something [TS]

00:14:08 ◼   ► to people i was astonished when we [TS]

00:14:11 ◼   ► started talking about bronies initially [TS]

00:14:14 ◼   ► thinking that your and my jaw you you're [TS]

00:14:20 ◼   ► in my cultural envelope was only going [TS]

00:14:23 ◼   ► to include maybe one or two [TS]

00:14:25 ◼   ► bronies but in fact my inbox was full [TS]

00:14:29 ◼   ► who love letters letters from very [TS]

00:14:32 ◼   ► articulate and respectively seem very [TS]

00:14:34 ◼   ► nice who wanted to who did who had no [TS]

00:14:38 ◼   ► they had no truck with anything we said [TS]

00:14:40 ◼   ► they did not want to argue they just [TS]

00:14:42 ◼   ► wanted to say I am Here I am here and I [TS]

00:14:46 ◼   ► am listening [TS]

00:14:47 ◼   ► i'm here i'm brony get used to it that's [TS]

00:14:49 ◼   ► right but Bentley and please get used to [TS]

00:14:51 ◼   ► it but but did you know or or don't but [TS]

00:14:54 ◼   ► we're gonna have a work we're all gonna [TS]

00:14:55 ◼   ► meet up at the convenience and later I [TS]

00:14:57 ◼   ► get okay I got you I got two things i [TS]

00:14:59 ◼   ► want to do this first of all I need a [TS]

00:15:01 ◼   ► better song to sing you at the beginning [TS]

00:15:03 ◼   ► yeah and number two I need to do a deep [TS]

00:15:05 ◼   ► dive on brownies you see meheux you seem [TS]

00:15:08 ◼   ► a little tired today no no I'm fine I'm [TS]

00:15:10 ◼   ► subdued I'm trying to be calmer I like [TS]

00:15:13 ◼   ► that I oh I mean just because it's not [TS]

00:15:17 ◼   ► that I like you calmer it's that I like [TS]

00:15:19 ◼   ► any attempt that a person makes to try [TS]

00:15:22 ◼   ► different thing [TS]

00:15:23 ◼   ► it's not strictly self-improvement it's [TS]

00:15:25 ◼   ► just a matter of mixing up you wear a [TS]

00:15:26 ◼   ► different hat [TS]

00:15:27 ◼   ► exactly today today I wake up I have a [TS]

00:15:30 ◼   ► pink bow in my hair tomorrow I'm going [TS]

00:15:31 ◼   ► down a whole chasing rats [TS]

00:15:33 ◼   ► that's how life is most of the [TS]

00:15:35 ◼   ► incontinent dogs I've known have been [TS]

00:15:37 ◼   ► dachshunds don't know that's an [TS]

00:15:39 ◼   ► availability heuristic or you know the [TS]

00:15:42 ◼   ► the attribution error or the category [TS]

00:15:44 ◼   ► error but you know it seems like most of [TS]

00:15:46 ◼   ► the incontinent dogs i think i think for [TS]

00:15:48 ◼   ► one thing dogs that live longer small [TS]

00:15:51 ◼   ► dogs i believe tend to live longer than [TS]

00:15:54 ◼   ► large dogs turns out i believe that that [TS]

00:15:56 ◼   ► is the case it so hard to have less work [TS]

00:15:57 ◼   ► to maybe but also the breeding you get [TS]

00:16:00 ◼   ► the bigger dogs they start getting the [TS]

00:16:02 ◼   ► hip dysplasia and right not a little [TS]

00:16:04 ◼   ► dogs you think they bred their bladders [TS]

00:16:06 ◼   ► to be too small maybe maybe that was [TS]

00:16:09 ◼   ► important that could be an adaptation [TS]

00:16:10 ◼   ► but you know here's the thing i mean you [TS]

00:16:12 ◼   ► like you see the kind of work that they [TS]

00:16:13 ◼   ► do you think about the hideous freak [TS]

00:16:15 ◼   ► dogs and this is what i say this is [TS]

00:16:16 ◼   ► where the emails going to start pouring [TS]

00:16:17 ◼   ► in [TS]

00:16:17 ◼   ► because you don't want to talk about pit [TS]

00:16:19 ◼   ► bulls because people who have pit bulls [TS]

00:16:21 ◼   ► are sensitive about pit bulls are nice [TS]

00:16:24 ◼   ► people then I'm just saying like if you [TS]

00:16:27 ◼   ► breathe one of these dogs were massive [TS]

00:16:29 ◼   ► housing missed mask if not going to have [TS]

00:16:31 ◼   ► hip dysplasia [TS]

00:16:32 ◼   ► yeah right like you're trying to you're [TS]

00:16:35 ◼   ► trying to make make a line out of a [TS]

00:16:36 ◼   ► boxer [TS]

00:16:37 ◼   ► it's weird i know i think i'm a stiff is [TS]

00:16:40 ◼   ► your senses that was not a grandmaster [TS]

00:16:41 ◼   ► if you ever seen like a big Mastiff have [TS]

00:16:43 ◼   ► I have chased me across so many bedrooms [TS]

00:16:47 ◼   ► but you know one thing they can't climb [TS]

00:16:52 ◼   ► trees yet [TS]

00:16:54 ◼   ► mm I i have nothing you know i have i've [TS]

00:16:58 ◼   ► had a lot of experience with people's [TS]

00:16:59 ◼   ► first-hand experience with them being [TS]

00:17:02 ◼   ► just delightful little people [TS]

00:17:04 ◼   ► yes and that's the problem is the bottom [TS]

00:17:06 ◼   ► dachshund is what caused that can like a [TS]

00:17:10 ◼   ► crush on Iron Chef okay okay here's the [TS]

00:17:12 ◼   ► thing Tommy tune comes downstairs with [TS]

00:17:14 ◼   ► his dogs wearing his jammies if you were [TS]

00:17:15 ◼   ► to give him a pop quiz right there on [TS]

00:17:17 ◼   ► the street in front of place for you [TS]

00:17:18 ◼   ► weren't drinking he said excuse me sir [TS]

00:17:20 ◼   ► do you think it's possible that your [TS]

00:17:22 ◼   ► little doggie ginger or Mary Ann or [TS]

00:17:25 ◼   ► whatever you think Marion's probably [TS]

00:17:27 ◼   ► upstairs sleeping but because you know [TS]

00:17:29 ◼   ► they can have two dogs in San Francisco [TS]

00:17:30 ◼   ► you can have two dogs in one kid or two [TS]

00:17:33 ◼   ► kids and one dog but there's gotta be [TS]

00:17:34 ◼   ► you gotta do something you're not saying [TS]

00:17:36 ◼   ► oh [TS]

00:17:36 ◼   ► so it's a thing it's a thing they check [TS]

00:17:38 ◼   ► the check you at the at the gate there's [TS]

00:17:40 ◼   ► always that one kid two kids are one dog [TS]

00:17:42 ◼   ► but you gotta do something this little [TS]

00:17:44 ◼   ► more like a ginger or Mary Ann probably [TS]

00:17:45 ◼   ► change your intestine and so this guy [TS]

00:17:48 ◼   ► comes downstairs you know stay together [TS]

00:17:49 ◼   ► populist you said let me let me ask me [TS]

00:17:51 ◼   ► ask you this do you thinks gonna be sir [TS]

00:17:53 ◼   ► to be a pop quiz man-on-the-street let [TS]

00:17:56 ◼   ► me give you I'm gonna give you a quick [TS]

00:17:57 ◼   ► question [TS]

00:17:58 ◼   ► don't overthink it is there a chance [TS]

00:17:59 ◼   ► that your dog ginger or or Marilyn [TS]

00:18:03 ◼   ► Monroe or judy garland or whatever is [TS]

00:18:05 ◼   ► there a chance that your little dog with [TS]

00:18:07 ◼   ► tear ass after a fucking cat sighs rat [TS]

00:18:10 ◼   ► and run away from you to go eat it until [TS]

00:18:12 ◼   ► there was nothing more to eat to tear it [TS]

00:18:13 ◼   ► apart just for fun [TS]

00:18:15 ◼   ► get it in its little mouth oh you brush [TS]

00:18:17 ◼   ► his teeth I know if there's no little [TS]

00:18:18 ◼   ► yellow spots on T it goes and it fucking [TS]

00:18:20 ◼   ► bites a rat and shakes it and then it's [TS]

00:18:22 ◼   ► Matt there isn't more right to kill sir [TS]

00:18:25 ◼   ► yes or no do you think that's likely to [TS]

00:18:27 ◼   ► happen and he'd say excuse me [TS]

00:18:30 ◼   ► oh now now we're going to get letters [TS]

00:18:33 ◼   ► from so now you're getting ping-pong and [TS]

00:18:35 ◼   ► so here's the problem you breed a dog [TS]

00:18:37 ◼   ► you know what you understand what [TS]

00:18:38 ◼   ► breathing is you know you understand IDK [TS]

00:18:40 ◼   ► what can I eugenics you know all about [TS]

00:18:43 ◼   ► freedom canine eugenics is you do [TS]

00:18:45 ◼   ► something really fucked up with two dogs [TS]

00:18:46 ◼   ► and say which one of these turned out [TS]

00:18:48 ◼   ► more of the really crazy dog we were [TS]

00:18:51 ◼   ► trying to make out of two different dogs [TS]

00:18:53 ◼   ► and right it's a form of forest [TS]

00:18:54 ◼   ► evolution and then you put the other one [TS]

00:18:56 ◼   ► in a sack full of rocks and throwing [TS]

00:18:58 ◼   ► over bridge as you do [TS]

00:18:59 ◼   ► yeah yeah so I'm just saying I got [TS]

00:19:01 ◼   ► nothing against pit bulls my [TS]

00:19:02 ◼   ► sister-in-law who threw my glasses way [TS]

00:19:04 ◼   ► nothing i'm angry she had as a pitbull [TS]

00:19:06 ◼   ► the they were told that it was a pitbull [TS]

00:19:08 ◼   ► and then some kind of like a look at was [TS]

00:19:11 ◼   ► sweet bird dog one of the sweet dumb [TS]

00:19:13 ◼   ► bird dogs later transferred on birddog [TS]

00:19:16 ◼   ► think Josh know he um no but you are you [TS]

00:19:18 ◼   ► get one of those sweet talks like a [TS]

00:19:19 ◼   ► retriever retrievers are not the [TS]

00:19:21 ◼   ► sharpest dog in the drawer right but in [TS]

00:19:23 ◼   ► and we brought home like oh this is [TS]

00:19:25 ◼   ► sweet it's a retriever pitbull mix and [TS]

00:19:27 ◼   ► in the fullness of time it became [TS]

00:19:29 ◼   ► clearer and clearer that a pitbull have [TS]

00:19:31 ◼   ► fucked a little bit of retriever and in [TS]

00:19:33 ◼   ► this lookout came out here looking [TS]

00:19:36 ◼   ► retrievers they don't seem smart but it [TS]

00:19:38 ◼   ► might just be that we but they have not [TS]

00:19:41 ◼   ► been called into action yet LOL what I [TS]

00:19:44 ◼   ► mean [TS]

00:19:44 ◼   ► also if you throw in the rat into some [TS]

00:19:46 ◼   ► water well it could just be that the [TS]

00:19:48 ◼   ► retriever let's say the retriever [TS]

00:19:50 ◼   ► as we think of them as like I'll go get [TS]

00:19:52 ◼   ► the duck bring the duck back who but it [TS]

00:19:54 ◼   ► may be that that a million retrievers [TS]

00:19:56 ◼   ► over the course of the thousand years [TS]

00:19:58 ◼   ► keep coming down those metaphorical [TS]

00:20:01 ◼   ► apartment steps and they keep walking [TS]

00:20:03 ◼   ► out the door and there is no in this [TS]

00:20:06 ◼   ► case metaphorical rat that activates [TS]

00:20:10 ◼   ► what retrievers are there ultimately to [TS]

00:20:13 ◼   ► do a duck has never been provided [TS]

00:20:16 ◼   ► whatever the whatever the duck is in [TS]

00:20:18 ◼   ► this situation who clearly it is a duck [TS]

00:20:21 ◼   ► is not just a duck here whatever a duck [TS]

00:20:25 ◼   ► is we just always think of them as is [TS]

00:20:27 ◼   ► duck chasers but they were not were not [TS]

00:20:31 ◼   ► put on this planet perhaps just to bring [TS]

00:20:33 ◼   ► duck's back [TS]

00:20:34 ◼   ► they might be waiting they might be [TS]

00:20:36 ◼   ► waiting they are Manchurian Candidate i [TS]

00:20:39 ◼   ► don't i don't know i guess so but you [TS]

00:20:41 ◼   ► know it's so hard to know what our [TS]

00:20:42 ◼   ► audience is interested in and I think at [TS]

00:20:45 ◼   ► some level shouldn't matter because help [TS]

00:20:46 ◼   ► comes from places sometimes dark so that [TS]

00:20:48 ◼   ► helps the darkness falls out of the sky [TS]

00:20:49 ◼   ► as I think you've shown but i think our [TS]

00:20:52 ◼   ► relationship with animals is something [TS]

00:20:54 ◼   ► that is worth pursuing and penetrating [TS]

00:20:56 ◼   ► and stick a finger in because it's clear [TS]

00:20:58 ◼   ► to me that we talked about this with [TS]

00:21:00 ◼   ► raccoons we talked about this with [TS]

00:21:02 ◼   ► raccoons we've talked about this with [TS]

00:21:04 ◼   ► nutria we've certainly talked about this [TS]

00:21:06 ◼   ► with birds horses i like your Manchurian [TS]

00:21:09 ◼   ► Candidate thing I think I think we're [TS]

00:21:11 ◼   ► facing the rover we have taken these [TS]

00:21:12 ◼   ► animals out of their natural unnatural [TS]

00:21:14 ◼   ► environment right that their natural [TS]

00:21:16 ◼   ► environment be walking around just [TS]

00:21:17 ◼   ► eating shit they find but we want to [TS]

00:21:19 ◼   ► make them two things that by poles on [TS]

00:21:20 ◼   ► the nose [TS]

00:21:21 ◼   ► yes you are you making a dog by to pull [TS]

00:21:24 ◼   ► on the nose if you if you create a dog [TS]

00:21:26 ◼   ► whose sole purpose is to buy a bowl on [TS]

00:21:29 ◼   ► the nose in the same way that when you [TS]

00:21:31 ◼   ► create a rat chaser you get this the [TS]

00:21:34 ◼   ► side effect is that it is incontinent if [TS]

00:21:37 ◼   ► you create a bowl knows biter [TS]

00:21:38 ◼   ► uh-huh what are the side effects like [TS]

00:21:40 ◼   ► it's a canine game of whack-a-mole [TS]

00:21:42 ◼   ► there's something else in that dog [TS]

00:21:44 ◼   ► there's some other higher purpose [TS]

00:21:46 ◼   ► because biting Apple on the nose [TS]

00:21:49 ◼   ► sure but how many times is that going to [TS]

00:21:51 ◼   ► happen to a guy this is important to [TS]

00:21:53 ◼   ► come in this is super interesting and [TS]

00:21:55 ◼   ► you have to wonder with these little [TS]

00:21:56 ◼   ► genetic freaks that we keep in our home [TS]

00:21:58 ◼   ► you have you have to wonder like at what [TS]

00:22:01 ◼   ► point what point will that sleeper cell [TS]

00:22:03 ◼   ► be activate [TS]

00:22:04 ◼   ► it by something you know rat it is is [TS]

00:22:06 ◼   ► closer to a badger than most things in [TS]

00:22:08 ◼   ► the world right through closer to a [TS]

00:22:10 ◼   ► better than say a shovel yes exactly [TS]

00:22:14 ◼   ► it's a hole is a hole using device but [TS]

00:22:19 ◼   ► but no absolutely and and so okay so [TS]

00:22:22 ◼   ► here's what I'm thinking I'm thinking of [TS]

00:22:23 ◼   ► dogs I've known a hole using the device [TS]

00:22:25 ◼   ► i had a PI had a pointer that was really [TS]

00:22:27 ◼   ► stupid and I had a beagle that was [TS]

00:22:29 ◼   ► really stupid and but both of them in [TS]

00:22:32 ◼   ► there but what are you measuring their [TS]

00:22:33 ◼   ► intelligence stupid relative to your [TS]

00:22:35 ◼   ► friends stupid relative to like a lot of [TS]

00:22:38 ◼   ► it has to do with me a lot of it has to [TS]

00:22:40 ◼   ► do with me you can you can judge a dog [TS]

00:22:42 ◼   ► by a large apart from its genetic freak [TS]

00:22:44 ◼   ► nature by the person who is the animal [TS]

00:22:47 ◼   ► companion of that dog you don't say [TS]

00:22:50 ◼   ► owner you know that you say animal [TS]

00:22:52 ◼   ► companion who are we going to get some [TS]

00:22:55 ◼   ► letters yeah we're gonna get letters [TS]

00:22:56 ◼   ► from the companions but ok for example i [TS]

00:22:59 ◼   ► have this building is shepherding the [TS]

00:23:00 ◼   ► animal through life you're not its owner [TS]

00:23:02 ◼   ► my puter West pointer would point like [TS]

00:23:04 ◼   ► he'd never been around meeting the point [TS]

00:23:05 ◼   ► at but still there's something inside of [TS]

00:23:07 ◼   ► him that when he said he smelled [TS]

00:23:08 ◼   ► everything an amazing sense of smell and [TS]

00:23:10 ◼   ► I never knew what he was pointing at it [TS]

00:23:12 ◼   ► could have been the metaphorical [TS]

00:23:13 ◼   ► Duckworth my beagle which would have [TS]

00:23:15 ◼   ► been seeing dead people [TS]

00:23:16 ◼   ► well then maybe i'll just say my beagle [TS]

00:23:20 ◼   ► like every time we turned around he [TS]

00:23:21 ◼   ► killed a rabbit [TS]

00:23:21 ◼   ► I don't even know they were rabbits [TS]

00:23:22 ◼   ► somewhere not find around tell it the [TS]

00:23:24 ◼   ► same way as it with this goddamn rat [TS]

00:23:26 ◼   ► yeah maybe I mean I don't know cuz their [TS]

00:23:28 ◼   ► way we could have a dog that would like [TS]

00:23:29 ◼   ► bring us coffee or I mean if we're going [TS]

00:23:32 ◼   ► to the thing is we know so much more [TS]

00:23:33 ◼   ► about genetics today and if you have a [TS]

00:23:35 ◼   ► bernese mountain dog who had a that had [TS]

00:23:38 ◼   ► a hexameric it's me and more now it's [TS]

00:23:44 ◼   ► gotten me and my reign Ian bernese [TS]

00:23:46 ◼   ► mountain dog had a barrel around his [TS]

00:23:49 ◼   ► neck and you could adapt some I'm sure [TS]

00:23:51 ◼   ► if you went to your local starbucks and [TS]

00:23:53 ◼   ► said listen I'm trying to build a wooden [TS]

00:23:55 ◼   ► barrel then I'm gonna hang around my [TS]

00:23:58 ◼   ► dog's neck and I wanted to I wanted to [TS]

00:24:00 ◼   ► carry coffee do you have a nozzle do you [TS]

00:24:02 ◼   ► have a nipple or something that 10 and i [TS]

00:24:05 ◼   ► can put on this barrel that can interact [TS]

00:24:07 ◼   ► with your espresso drip coffeemaker [TS]

00:24:10 ◼   ► thing somewhere in seattle there's a guy [TS]

00:24:13 ◼   ► yes if you want if you went up to the [TS]

00:24:14 ◼   ► counter he'd probably be wearing one of [TS]

00:24:16 ◼   ► those like [TS]

00:24:17 ◼   ► knee-length aprons and he would have a [TS]

00:24:19 ◼   ► handlebar mustache [TS]

00:24:20 ◼   ► it's am trying to make a I'm trying to [TS]

00:24:22 ◼   ► make a barrel that my bernese mountain [TS]

00:24:23 ◼   ► dog can carry can bring coffee to me in [TS]

00:24:25 ◼   ► the morning [TS]

00:24:26 ◼   ► do you have the nipple and before you [TS]

00:24:28 ◼   ► even said nipple he'd be like up i have [TS]

00:24:30 ◼   ► exactly what you're looking for [TS]

00:24:31 ◼   ► that's forty nine dollars and he would [TS]

00:24:33 ◼   ► go back he would go back by the county [TS]

00:24:34 ◼   ► would come out within our array of tubes [TS]

00:24:36 ◼   ► and then he would say in this this all [TS]

00:24:38 ◼   ► hooks of course to your Italian like [TS]

00:24:41 ◼   ► single press coffee device right okay [TS]

00:24:45 ◼   ► here's the other thing they like there's [TS]

00:24:47 ◼   ► all this bullshit going on now where [TS]

00:24:48 ◼   ► people are trying to make all these [TS]

00:24:49 ◼   ► computer things that the do stuff and [TS]

00:24:51 ◼   ► don't really do it [TS]

00:24:52 ◼   ► there's an app you can get now where you [TS]

00:24:53 ◼   ► can like call ahead to order coffee and [TS]

00:24:54 ◼   ► then you go there pick it up which [TS]

00:24:56 ◼   ► whatever i'm not sure how much time that [TS]

00:24:57 ◼   ► saves the point is these places their [TS]

00:25:00 ◼   ► biggest cost you know the coffee's about [TS]

00:25:02 ◼   ► the license to print money it's your [TS]

00:25:03 ◼   ► hands paying the guy in the apron that's [TS]

00:25:04 ◼   ► costly i'm thinking you get a dog collar [TS]

00:25:07 ◼   ► with a smart card in it and a nozzle you [TS]

00:25:09 ◼   ► you get the Bernese to the béarnaise [TS]

00:25:11 ◼   ► don't pronounce it guarantees yeah it's [TS]

00:25:13 ◼   ► a it's a bears mountain there's no [TS]

00:25:15 ◼   ► reason if you can see if you can teach a [TS]

00:25:16 ◼   ► sweet little animal fighting bulls knows [TS]

00:25:18 ◼   ► they're chasing a rabbit down the hole [TS]

00:25:19 ◼   ► there's no fucking reason that you [TS]

00:25:21 ◼   ► cannot teach if an average to [TS]

00:25:23 ◼   ► above-average intelligence dog to fill a [TS]

00:25:25 ◼   ► wooden barrel with coffee [TS]

00:25:27 ◼   ► yeah right exactly and it once we've [TS]

00:25:29 ◼   ► done that I don't even care what that [TS]

00:25:31 ◼   ► dogs real purpose in life is [TS]

00:25:33 ◼   ► yeah I'm gonna get one and he's going to [TS]

00:25:35 ◼   ► come upstairs and into my room every [TS]

00:25:36 ◼   ► morning with a barrel of coffee around [TS]

00:25:38 ◼   ► his neck and I'll pat him on the head [TS]

00:25:40 ◼   ► and that will be all he needs because [TS]

00:25:42 ◼   ► all they want to do is please let me [TS]

00:25:43 ◼   ► know what you doing John you you're [TS]

00:25:44 ◼   ► using the same Frank honesty and candor [TS]

00:25:47 ◼   ► which i think is all means the same [TS]

00:25:49 ◼   ► thing that you bring to all of your [TS]

00:25:50 ◼   ► transactions in life which is you have [TS]

00:25:52 ◼   ► made the barrel into the duck [TS]

00:25:54 ◼   ► he's not gonna want to go chase other [TS]

00:25:55 ◼   ► stuff he's going to want to fucking [TS]

00:25:56 ◼   ► bring you coffee [TS]

00:25:57 ◼   ► exactly he didn't even know what the [TS]

00:25:59 ◼   ► duck was now until it was a barrel [TS]

00:26:01 ◼   ► oh and the thing about this is that i [TS]

00:26:03 ◼   ► believe that this is true of human [TS]

00:26:04 ◼   ► beings to you think everybody's got a [TS]

00:26:06 ◼   ► doc that's what I was thinking [TS]

00:26:07 ◼   ► yes we are more complicated obviously [TS]

00:26:09 ◼   ► than bernese mountain dogs or wiener [TS]

00:26:11 ◼   ► dogs but i think that there are I think [TS]

00:26:14 ◼   ► that we are waiting [TS]

00:26:15 ◼   ► each of us for our duck [TS]

00:26:18 ◼   ► and when that duck appears sometimes [TS]

00:26:21 ◼   ► you're not you're not thinking about it [TS]

00:26:23 ◼   ► you're not ready for it here at a [TS]

00:26:24 ◼   ► bookstore you're looking you know you're [TS]

00:26:26 ◼   ► looking for a housewarming gift you are [TS]

00:26:30 ◼   ► like on your way to meet your fiancé [TS]

00:26:33 ◼   ► and your duck appears who are you gonna [TS]

00:26:36 ◼   ► I mean are you gonna chase that rat into [TS]

00:26:38 ◼   ► the bushes and down the hole and get [TS]

00:26:39 ◼   ► your pink ribbons dirty and or are you [TS]

00:26:42 ◼   ► going to fight the fact that every fiber [TS]

00:26:44 ◼   ► of your being says holy shit i never [TS]

00:26:46 ◼   ► knew it but there's my duck [TS]

00:26:47 ◼   ► there's my duck and i'm going to look [TS]

00:26:49 ◼   ► away because I and I have self [TS]

00:26:52 ◼   ► domesticated myself there's no there's [TS]

00:26:54 ◼   ► no guy in his pajamas who's brought me [TS]

00:26:56 ◼   ► here to this doorway it is i am the guy [TS]

00:26:59 ◼   ► in pajamas and i am the dog and I am [TS]

00:27:03 ◼   ► ignoring the doc well as much as you can [TS]

00:27:05 ◼   ► say and I know you didn't get along with [TS]

00:27:07 ◼   ► you this because you're watching the rat [TS]

00:27:08 ◼   ► but like for example the guy in the [TS]

00:27:10 ◼   ► jammies [TS]

00:27:11 ◼   ► what's his duck exactly left it ok [TS]

00:27:15 ◼   ► alright I'm thing is when his dog went [TS]

00:27:17 ◼   ► off into the bushes yeah he's left [TS]

00:27:18 ◼   ► holding the dock like now everything's [TS]

00:27:21 ◼   ► changed for this guy right [TS]

00:27:23 ◼   ► is he gonna is he gonna let this dog [TS]

00:27:24 ◼   ► come into his bed and let him on the [TS]

00:27:26 ◼   ► face tonight covered in rap like it goes [TS]

00:27:28 ◼   ► any fines ginger and in you know you [TS]

00:27:31 ◼   ► using dead rats or stomped rats i [TS]

00:27:32 ◼   ► replace our band used to practice i was [TS]

00:27:34 ◼   ► at my friend's house and he was feral my [TS]

00:27:37 ◼   ► friend was terrible he he hunted he [TS]

00:27:39 ◼   ► would go out in the backyard and shoot [TS]

00:27:41 ◼   ► rats and he hated rats and he was you [TS]

00:27:44 ◼   ► know he liked work for a living like he [TS]

00:27:46 ◼   ► had like rough hands and boots our [TS]

00:27:47 ◼   ► drummer and use that you used some kind [TS]

00:27:49 ◼   ► of steel pressed he would see what [TS]

00:27:51 ◼   ► stopped them he would stop them in the [TS]

00:27:53 ◼   ► kitchen and then scoop them up with the [TS]

00:27:56 ◼   ► cardboard anything that 12 Bush beers [TS]

00:27:59 ◼   ► came in and then just throw it on the [TS]

00:28:00 ◼   ► back yard and house like a frog box so [TS]

00:28:04 ◼   ► it's also make a great hat too i just [TS]

00:28:06 ◼   ► saw Coors Light cowboy hat for sale on [TS]

00:28:08 ◼   ► amazon just yesterday I didn't even know [TS]

00:28:10 ◼   ► that existed in that weird even imagine [TS]

00:28:14 ◼   ► he would smash it with his boot and [TS]

00:28:15 ◼   ► scoop it up he had no problem and to me [TS]

00:28:17 ◼   ► I know it completely freaked me out that [TS]

00:28:19 ◼   ► he could do it and wasn't something [TS]

00:28:21 ◼   ► where he was like I'm drunk and I'm [TS]

00:28:22 ◼   ► going to kick a rat he had done this so [TS]

00:28:24 ◼   ► many times that you know how hard it is [TS]

00:28:26 ◼   ► to to stop a rat you know how fast those [TS]

00:28:29 ◼   ► little fuckers are yes he was not [TS]

00:28:30 ◼   ► startled he was not [TS]

00:28:32 ◼   ► I care that his name his name is legion [TS]

00:28:34 ◼   ► his name was Bruce but I think he's a [TS]

00:28:36 ◼   ► commando he's a commando but didn't the [TS]

00:28:39 ◼   ► thing is that when you see a rats and [TS]

00:28:40 ◼   ► smashed or like it like an arcade [TS]

00:28:42 ◼   ► neighborhood a pigeon thank god it looks [TS]

00:28:44 ◼   ► like what it looks like if you don't [TS]

00:28:46 ◼   ► really understand the word guts until [TS]

00:28:48 ◼   ► you've seen a smashed animal even seem [TS]

00:28:50 ◼   ► like a if you see somebody like cut-up a [TS]

00:28:52 ◼   ► cow or a pig it's still not the same [TS]

00:28:54 ◼   ► there's a surgical nature took the [TS]

00:28:56 ◼   ► cutting the handoff a pig [TS]

00:28:57 ◼   ► this is something completely different [TS]

00:28:59 ◼   ► this is nature this is uses your duck [TS]

00:29:01 ◼   ► staring in the face it looks like steak [TS]

00:29:02 ◼   ► tartare maybe yeah but it's like with a [TS]

00:29:05 ◼   ► plate of spaghetti put on it [TS]

00:29:07 ◼   ► yes yes okay that's Gus and I and you [TS]

00:29:10 ◼   ► stuff all of it in a furry slipper [TS]

00:29:13 ◼   ► yeah I've seen some squash things here's [TS]

00:29:17 ◼   ► the here's the problem i'm just going to [TS]

00:29:18 ◼   ► say this just just quickly and passing [TS]

00:29:19 ◼   ► i'll probably cut this out but the thing [TS]

00:29:21 ◼   ► is if you obtain a dog whose entire [TS]

00:29:25 ◼   ► raison d'être from its entire line of [TS]

00:29:28 ◼   ► existence down the line with all these [TS]

00:29:30 ◼   ► dogs was to literally kill things to [TS]

00:29:33 ◼   ► kill big things not be scared of things [TS]

00:29:35 ◼   ► you know dinosaurs you can hide from [TS]

00:29:37 ◼   ► dinosaurs long as you stand still [TS]

00:29:38 ◼   ► once you start moving that dinosaur goes [TS]

00:29:40 ◼   ► after that's how it works they're not [TS]

00:29:41 ◼   ► super private got a brain the size of a [TS]

00:29:42 ◼   ► walnut if you've got had that much [TS]

00:29:44 ◼   ► experience hiding from dinosaurs so [TS]

00:29:46 ◼   ► thank you from to your knowledge she [TS]

00:29:48 ◼   ► took me that okay all I'm saying is this [TS]

00:29:50 ◼   ► what happens after every no one noticed [TS]

00:29:52 ◼   ► a pitbull actually I'm saying people up [TS]

00:29:55 ◼   ► after every vicious dog attack that [TS]

00:29:57 ◼   ► kills a child or old person to a person [TS]

00:30:00 ◼   ► what does the owner always say the [TS]

00:30:03 ◼   ► nicest sweetest dog Dave never done [TS]

00:30:05 ◼   ► anything like even near this before [TS]

00:30:07 ◼   ► right [TS]

00:30:08 ◼   ► there's not a single person in the world [TS]

00:30:09 ◼   ► that hasn't had their dog except for [TS]

00:30:11 ◼   ► maybe like a football player somebody [TS]

00:30:12 ◼   ► they've never had anybody even if [TS]

00:30:14 ◼   ► there's never been anybody with a dog [TS]

00:30:16 ◼   ► that killed a person who said yeah [TS]

00:30:18 ◼   ► that's happened five times there's [TS]

00:30:20 ◼   ► always a first time but this is [TS]

00:30:21 ◼   ► absolutely this is exactly the problem [TS]

00:30:23 ◼   ► with human beings to that that's that's [TS]

00:30:25 ◼   ► what everybody says about the about the [TS]

00:30:27 ◼   ► maniac white supremacist guy that walks [TS]

00:30:29 ◼   ► in and kills a bunch of sikhs because he [TS]

00:30:31 ◼   ► doesn't understand what I see kids a lot [TS]

00:30:34 ◼   ► wrong turban long-term he's like you [TS]

00:30:36 ◼   ► know that this guy that killed all the [TS]

00:30:38 ◼   ► all that walked into the sikh temple and [TS]

00:30:40 ◼   ► killed all the sikhs and everyone saying [TS]

00:30:42 ◼   ► well gee I don't understand what his [TS]

00:30:44 ◼   ► motivation was [TS]

00:30:45 ◼   ► right well because he's an asshole and [TS]

00:30:47 ◼   ► he's an idiot and these he doesn't know [TS]

00:30:49 ◼   ► that the husband till the one turban [TS]

00:30:51 ◼   ► from the other and he doesn't even he [TS]

00:30:53 ◼   ► doesn't care and there's three there [TS]

00:30:55 ◼   ► could be three minute like we said [TS]

00:30:56 ◼   ► before with the clan there could be [TS]

00:30:57 ◼   ► three minutes in junior high that [TS]

00:30:59 ◼   ► largely explains why he is the way he is [TS]

00:31:01 ◼   ► it didn't take it didn't take a lot of [TS]

00:31:02 ◼   ► reading while there's probably some [TS]

00:31:03 ◼   ► breathing issues but but you know I'm [TS]

00:31:05 ◼   ► saying you've never done anything like [TS]

00:31:06 ◼   ► that all that's the problem but you [TS]

00:31:08 ◼   ► never do anything like this before and [TS]

00:31:10 ◼   ► then all of a sudden [TS]

00:31:11 ◼   ► oh he killed nine people well it's like [TS]

00:31:13 ◼   ► none of us have ever done anything like [TS]

00:31:14 ◼   ► that before [TS]

00:31:15 ◼   ► and until we do because we are we're [TS]

00:31:18 ◼   ► we're we're animals simples all of this [TS]

00:31:22 ◼   ► one of those stupid sayings like [TS]

00:31:24 ◼   ► whenever you lose someone you find [TS]

00:31:26 ◼   ► something you lost its always in the [TS]

00:31:27 ◼   ► last place you look [TS]

00:31:28 ◼   ► I cannot believe that adults still say [TS]

00:31:30 ◼   ► that haha well I found it but I kept [TS]

00:31:33 ◼   ► looking for a couple hours it's the [TS]

00:31:34 ◼   ► weirdest thing [TS]

00:31:35 ◼   ► yeah okay so um here's a question for [TS]

00:31:38 ◼   ► you then you know about you know about [TS]

00:31:42 ◼   ► serial killers i do I have a sideline ru [TS]

00:31:46 ◼   ► ru ru laughs and you follow serial [TS]

00:31:48 ◼   ► killers apologize i'm pretty enough and [TS]

00:31:50 ◼   ► you're not a fan of anybody but I'm [TS]

00:31:52 ◼   ► pretty interested in serial killers and [TS]

00:31:54 ◼   ► it's my understanding that yes I'm not [TS]

00:31:57 ◼   ► just start did this start back in the [TS]

00:31:59 ◼   ► day like there was a time in the early [TS]

00:32:00 ◼   ► nineties were serial killers dead Sam [TS]

00:32:04 ◼   ► dumb was a was a thing in our culture [TS]

00:32:06 ◼   ► right John Wayne Gacy selling paintings [TS]

00:32:08 ◼   ► and getting marriage proposals [TS]

00:32:10 ◼   ► yeah I had a lot of friends that had [TS]

00:32:11 ◼   ► that had that chorus that literally [TS]

00:32:14 ◼   ► correspondent with killers in the in the [TS]

00:32:16 ◼   ► jail and had books about them and stuff [TS]

00:32:18 ◼   ► it's after I was not easy to send a [TS]

00:32:20 ◼   ► letter to anybody it really is and I did [TS]

00:32:22 ◼   ► not I did not approve that and I did not [TS]

00:32:25 ◼   ► indulge in it but but since since the [TS]

00:32:28 ◼   ► Internet has arrived in all of our lives [TS]

00:32:30 ◼   ► I must confess to having spent many many [TS]

00:32:33 ◼   ► hours late at night trying to understand [TS]

00:32:36 ◼   ► not trying to understand well yeah [TS]

00:32:38 ◼   ► trying to understand Bundy and Jeffrey [TS]

00:32:43 ◼   ► Dahmer are well and our local money snow [TS]

00:32:46 ◼   ► bunny the hell of a story Bundy isn't [TS]

00:32:48 ◼   ► Bundy was not one of my first serial [TS]

00:32:49 ◼   ► killers [TS]

00:32:50 ◼   ► well it seems in Florida he was already [TS]

00:32:51 ◼   ► you know when he was one of the first [TS]

00:32:54 ◼   ► serial killers he was smart shit [TS]

00:32:57 ◼   ► art and diabolical and he broke out he [TS]

00:32:59 ◼   ► broke out of jail he changed his you [TS]

00:33:02 ◼   ► know there's a lot of a lot of it is [TS]

00:33:04 ◼   ► yuki you get some guy in Quantico was [TS]

00:33:06 ◼   ► drinking a lot of coffee thinks he has [TS]

00:33:07 ◼   ► it figured out where Bundy Bundy and [TS]

00:33:08 ◼   ► again I'm not here to promote Ted Bundy [TS]

00:33:11 ◼   ► but he but he did he took an eternity [TS]

00:33:13 ◼   ► switch it up he tried different things [TS]

00:33:15 ◼   ► he go to different places he escaped [TS]

00:33:17 ◼   ► multiple times but but she also i mean [TS]

00:33:19 ◼   ► there's this like oh yeah he was this [TS]

00:33:21 ◼   ► rig super killer but then he also would [TS]

00:33:23 ◼   ► go up into the mountains and have sex [TS]

00:33:26 ◼   ► with the dead body of the person he [TS]

00:33:27 ◼   ► killed for multiple days until in his [TS]

00:33:31 ◼   ► own words the body was not you could no [TS]

00:33:33 ◼   ► longer have sex with the rise of [TS]

00:33:35 ◼   ► decomposition is a college math and that [TS]

00:33:37 ◼   ► is the thing that it's very difficult to [TS]

00:33:39 ◼   ► square with like yeah use the body and [TS]

00:33:41 ◼   ► Clyde and then o.o spend two seconds [TS]

00:33:45 ◼   ► thinking about the things that he did [TS]

00:33:47 ◼   ► over there is no possible way to [TS]

00:33:50 ◼   ► contextualise that if you if you you [TS]

00:33:53 ◼   ► can't get that you can't live in a world [TS]

00:33:56 ◼   ► where that is possible and yet here he [TS]

00:34:00 ◼   ► you believe that people are like [TS]

00:34:02 ◼   ► reasonable predictable and that you know [TS]

00:34:06 ◼   ► that it I guess what I'm saying is it is [TS]

00:34:08 ◼   ► not possible to live in a world where [TS]

00:34:10 ◼   ► there are Bundy's and at the same time [TS]

00:34:11 ◼   ► you believe that we can educate people [TS]

00:34:16 ◼   ► away educate our our society to a point [TS]

00:34:20 ◼   ► where there is no longer hatred or [TS]

00:34:23 ◼   ► suffering you know what I mean like [TS]

00:34:24 ◼   ► there's this is the liberal conceit [TS]

00:34:26 ◼   ► right that if we just want attention [TS]

00:34:28 ◼   ► people are basically people are [TS]

00:34:30 ◼   ► basically good and need to be given the [TS]

00:34:32 ◼   ► circumstances to do the right thing [TS]

00:34:34 ◼   ► yeah and we just we just threw through a [TS]

00:34:36 ◼   ► process of acculturation and also some [TS]

00:34:38 ◼   ► sort of draconian laws and maybe we [TS]

00:34:43 ◼   ► throw a little busing on there then and [TS]

00:34:46 ◼   ► then all of a sudden all of our hatred [TS]

00:34:48 ◼   ► of one another will go away and we will [TS]

00:34:50 ◼   ► live in a utopia where we wake up every [TS]

00:34:53 ◼   ► morning and and make musically for one [TS]

00:34:55 ◼   ► another and we all gathered a common [TS]

00:34:58 ◼   ► table and eat usually and you know and [TS]

00:35:01 ◼   ► our linen garments don't chafe and then [TS]

00:35:03 ◼   ► except for this one guy who likes to eat [TS]

00:35:05 ◼   ► peoples faces or have sex with dead [TS]

00:35:07 ◼   ► bodies [TS]

00:35:08 ◼   ► but he's you know really like he just [TS]

00:35:11 ◼   ► saw he just found his dark and handsome [TS]

00:35:13 ◼   ► and we're just gonna have to hit we have [TS]

00:35:15 ◼   ► to walk him over to this other area this [TS]

00:35:17 ◼   ► fenced-off area even though fences are [TS]

00:35:20 ◼   ► terrible that's the exception to the [TS]

00:35:21 ◼   ► rule [TS]

00:35:21 ◼   ► yeah and it's like well maybe he [TS]

00:35:23 ◼   ► certainly is an outlier right on the [TS]

00:35:26 ◼   ► bell curve survives the people of the [TS]

00:35:28 ◼   ► people we're aware of and the people [TS]

00:35:29 ◼   ► we've caught bet there's a lot of [TS]

00:35:31 ◼   ► painting Snatchers out there I bet [TS]

00:35:33 ◼   ► people would be everybody here's here's [TS]

00:35:34 ◼   ► one of the problems turns out is that [TS]

00:35:36 ◼   ► everybody thinks you know for example [TS]

00:35:37 ◼   ► child abductions have gone way way down [TS]

00:35:39 ◼   ► since like the nineteen-forties of [TS]

00:35:41 ◼   ► interesting it's just the reporting of [TS]

00:35:43 ◼   ► things like child abduction has gone [TS]

00:35:45 ◼   ► through the roof [TS]

00:35:45 ◼   ► there's probably they were probably way [TS]

00:35:47 ◼   ► more missing blondes back in the days [TS]

00:35:48 ◼   ► when cars were larger it's just that [TS]

00:35:49 ◼   ► today it's way over reported what I'm [TS]

00:35:52 ◼   ► saying yes I do yes yes and so and so I [TS]

00:35:54 ◼   ► think that's part of it but here's the [TS]

00:35:56 ◼   ► other thing good but you know Bundy [TS]

00:35:57 ◼   ► worked as a as a pretty high up staffer [TS]

00:36:02 ◼   ► for the camp the Republican campaign for [TS]

00:36:05 ◼   ► governor here in Washington State and he [TS]

00:36:08 ◼   ► was like a trusted advisor of the love [TS]

00:36:11 ◼   ► of the man who eventually was the [TS]

00:36:13 ◼   ► Republican governor of Washington and so [TS]

00:36:16 ◼   ► you have to be pretty high functioning [TS]

00:36:19 ◼   ► not just high-functioning maniac you [TS]

00:36:21 ◼   ► have to be a pretty high-functioning [TS]

00:36:22 ◼   ► person to be working that challenge John [TS]

00:36:25 ◼   ► Wayne Gacy was not only a clown at [TS]

00:36:27 ◼   ► children's parties he was one of the [TS]

00:36:28 ◼   ► most respected businessman in his in his [TS]

00:36:30 ◼   ► area of chicago and here's how he got a [TS]

00:36:33 ◼   ► lot of those young men in the car was [TS]

00:36:35 ◼   ► that he would say to them hey look on [TS]

00:36:37 ◼   ► this construction business do you want [TS]

00:36:39 ◼   ► to make a little bit of quick money i'd [TS]

00:36:41 ◼   ► be more than happy I'm a clown at [TS]

00:36:42 ◼   ► parties and a member of the Rotary Club [TS]

00:36:44 ◼   ► and I'm so i hope i didn't get that [TS]

00:36:45 ◼   ► wrong night at the Argentine stadium [TS]

00:36:46 ◼   ► wrong I'm a clown at the Rotary Club and [TS]

00:36:49 ◼   ► yeah yeah and so and so but but people [TS]

00:36:52 ◼   ► get the car and then pretty soon they're [TS]

00:36:53 ◼   ► in the basement [TS]

00:36:54 ◼   ► he's got to stick with a wire on a [TS]

00:36:55 ◼   ► twisting around the neck and he's [TS]

00:36:56 ◼   ► reading the Bible verses and then he [TS]

00:36:57 ◼   ► calls on the screwdriver that actually [TS]

00:36:59 ◼   ► sounds kinda hot especially with a clown [TS]

00:37:02 ◼   ► uh-huh i would like I wouldn't like it [TS]

00:37:04 ◼   ► at first no no understanding is that he [TS]

00:37:07 ◼   ► put that he it was Casey right there [TS]

00:37:09 ◼   ► buried the bodies in the basement and [TS]

00:37:12 ◼   ► then just go just poured lye on them so [TS]

00:37:14 ◼   ► yeah I mean isn't this all works for a [TS]

00:37:16 ◼   ► while and then they found [TS]

00:37:17 ◼   ► it was something like I want to say 28 [TS]

00:37:19 ◼   ► of them but here's what I want you [TS]

00:37:20 ◼   ► speaking of ducks you've got you look at [TS]

00:37:23 ◼   ► somebody like Jeffrey Dahmer who's a [TS]

00:37:25 ◼   ► super interesting character talks about [TS]

00:37:26 ◼   ► a freaky little guy he was a real freaky [TS]

00:37:29 ◼   ► guy but you know what he had that same [TS]

00:37:31 ◼   ► pattern as a whole bunch of people can I [TS]

00:37:33 ◼   ► just say killing cats you need a kid who [TS]

00:37:36 ◼   ► blows up a little bit too much stuff you [TS]

00:37:38 ◼   ► excluded you meet somebody who has [TS]

00:37:39 ◼   ► killed a lot of cats never kill the [TS]

00:37:41 ◼   ► thing in blowing things up i'm so glad i [TS]

00:37:44 ◼   ► always said clear [TS]

00:37:46 ◼   ► fire in the hole fire in the hole get [TS]

00:37:49 ◼   ► out that and then I and then I would [TS]

00:37:56 ◼   ► miss the ignition button and boom he's [TS]

00:37:59 ◼   ► like yeah I can't imagine like wearing [TS]

00:38:01 ◼   ► like this yellow like you know marksman [TS]

00:38:03 ◼   ► glasses goggles but all I'm saying is [TS]

00:38:06 ◼   ► this if it is fair to say and I think [TS]

00:38:08 ◼   ► it's fair to say because I've read [TS]

00:38:10 ◼   ► enough I've read enough books I've [TS]

00:38:11 ◼   ► watched enough TV shows and spend some [TS]

00:38:13 ◼   ► time with media to know that a lifetime [TS]

00:38:15 ◼   ► that you you take somebody who's a [TS]

00:38:17 ◼   ► 14-year old cat killer and you have your [TS]

00:38:20 ◼   ► seeing the seeds of something that will [TS]

00:38:22 ◼   ► become the discovery of docs and star [TS]

00:38:25 ◼   ► which is a terrific Marquez story by the [TS]

00:38:27 ◼   ► way and now here's a question to you and [TS]

00:38:29 ◼   ► there's something request is this just [TS]

00:38:31 ◼   ► for serial killers are there other [TS]

00:38:32 ◼   ► things where we should be watching not [TS]

00:38:34 ◼   ► necessarily cats that are being killed [TS]

00:38:35 ◼   ► with animals should we be watching [TS]

00:38:37 ◼   ► animals doing freaky stuff like animals [TS]

00:38:39 ◼   ► that I don't know they like they like to [TS]

00:38:40 ◼   ► I'd like to choose furniture they I'm [TS]

00:38:43 ◼   ► just saying [TS]

00:38:44 ◼   ► are there ways that we can see this [TS]

00:38:45 ◼   ► feral nature coming out before it comes [TS]

00:38:48 ◼   ► to a dead rat or a coed and i think the [TS]

00:38:51 ◼   ► other markers John other markers you're [TS]

00:38:53 ◼   ► saying in the animal kingdom were in the [TS]

00:38:54 ◼   ► human can John it's the same kingdom [TS]

00:38:56 ◼   ► trillions [TS]

00:38:57 ◼   ► i'm going to say that yes there are [TS]

00:39:00 ◼   ► markers all the time and that's why we [TS]

00:39:01 ◼   ► don't hang out with people who listen to [TS]

00:39:03 ◼   ► white supremacist music but we do hang [TS]

00:39:09 ◼   ► out with say for instance bronies man [TS]

00:39:14 ◼   ► you know like you look at some bronies [TS]

00:39:16 ◼   ► and you think has a brownie ever flipped [TS]

00:39:19 ◼   ► his lid and ride you think the Bernie [TS]

00:39:21 ◼   ► Sanders duck i think they have I think [TS]

00:39:24 ◼   ► that's absolutely true they found but [TS]

00:39:26 ◼   ► there are a lot of ducks right there are [TS]

00:39:28 ◼   ► a lot of kerala there are there's a [TS]

00:39:30 ◼   ► large dogs and there's a lot of decoys [TS]

00:39:32 ◼   ► that that's exactly right and there are [TS]

00:39:34 ◼   ► there are tons of dogs who for whom that [TS]

00:39:39 ◼   ► rat would not have been there duck who [TS]

00:39:42 ◼   ► you know they got a different doc it [TS]

00:39:44 ◼   ► come out there i would run right under [TS]

00:39:45 ◼   ► their nose right across their paws and [TS]

00:39:48 ◼   ► the dog obviously the ears would go up [TS]

00:39:50 ◼   ► they would be attentive the head the [TS]

00:39:52 ◼   ► tail would go up they would just as [TS]

00:39:54 ◼   ► every other human on that street if we [TS]

00:39:56 ◼   ► had ears that could go up our ears were [TS]

00:39:58 ◼   ► all up on that rat came out from under [TS]

00:40:00 ◼   ► the car right our tails all went up my [TS]

00:40:03 ◼   ► if I if I see a rat I even though I [TS]

00:40:06 ◼   ► understand if I see a rat a remove and [TS]

00:40:09 ◼   ► and the thing is a rat doesn't want to [TS]

00:40:10 ◼   ► be seen [TS]

00:40:11 ◼   ► no rat the rat that he realized oh he [TS]

00:40:14 ◼   ► realizes i am clocked he's gonna find a [TS]

00:40:16 ◼   ► wall he's gonna run along the lines [TS]

00:40:17 ◼   ► going to the creepy think of another [TS]

00:40:19 ◼   ► their their their bodies look like a [TS]

00:40:21 ◼   ► ferret their kind of weasel kind of [TS]

00:40:22 ◼   ► bifurcated and kind of scoot this big [TS]

00:40:24 ◼   ► but they're so gross [TS]

00:40:26 ◼   ► the guts but they're gonna they're gonna [TS]

00:40:28 ◼   ► hightail it away they're not going to [TS]

00:40:29 ◼   ► come confront you about having been seen [TS]

00:40:31 ◼   ► you know when you just said big but it [TS]

00:40:32 ◼   ► occurred to me that there is someone on [TS]

00:40:34 ◼   ► listening to this podcast who is not a [TS]

00:40:38 ◼   ► hundred percent sure that they aren't [TS]

00:40:40 ◼   ► may be attracted to rats essentially is [TS]

00:40:43 ◼   ► mixed listening [TS]

00:40:45 ◼   ► I don't think you know I don't think he [TS]

00:40:48 ◼   ► made him aware of the show I don't think [TS]

00:40:50 ◼   ► that mix listens but i did recently [TS]

00:40:52 ◼   ► learned that not one but two where I [TS]

00:40:56 ◼   ► knew that one of the presidents of the [TS]

00:40:57 ◼   ► united states of america was a regular [TS]

00:40:59 ◼   ► listener right but but now it turns out [TS]

00:41:01 ◼   ► that two of them are who I think I know [TS]

00:41:05 ◼   ► the invitation has only has two strings [TS]

00:41:06 ◼   ► on his drum to Gina didn't know that [TS]

00:41:08 ◼   ► that's part of his sound you know you [TS]

00:41:10 ◼   ► know this is is a is one of his rack [TS]

00:41:12 ◼   ► Tom's is a beer cooler i can track has a [TS]

00:41:15 ◼   ► riot [TS]

00:41:16 ◼   ► he knows that he knows how to live but [TS]

00:41:17 ◼   ► no uh lead singer of the president's [TS]

00:41:20 ◼   ► Chris blue fails crisply welcome to the [TS]

00:41:22 ◼   ► family famous American nothing but every [TS]

00:41:25 ◼   ► episode quit now every episode and he [TS]

00:41:28 ◼   ► has a he gave me he can be broken down [TS]

00:41:30 ◼   ► from the other day gave me the exegesis [TS]

00:41:31 ◼   ► of our whole thing he did he pulled a [TS]

00:41:33 ◼   ► little bit of plans burgers Jason gave [TS]

00:41:35 ◼   ► me a second to Jason gave after flans [TS]

00:41:38 ◼   ► gave me the second-biggest exegesis that [TS]

00:41:40 ◼   ► I've ever gotten of the show and may I [TS]

00:41:42 ◼   ► say John of you i think i think you [TS]

00:41:43 ◼   ► might be Jason offense doc [TS]

00:41:45 ◼   ► Finn Finn knows a lot about me [TS]

00:41:48 ◼   ► he also notes notes for the Ducks appear [TS]

00:41:51 ◼   ► he also thinks he knows a lot more about [TS]

00:41:53 ◼   ► anything haha are you good for equal [TS]

00:41:59 ◼   ► time because he told me a lot of things [TS]

00:42:01 ◼   ► no no I have no III you're Maya it [TS]

00:42:04 ◼   ► trying to decode Jason finish the thing [TS]

00:42:06 ◼   ► that I do in private with Jason fitting [TS]

00:42:08 ◼   ► that you got to think i'm gonna take out [TS]

00:42:09 ◼   ► in the world [TS]

00:42:10 ◼   ► guys I keep imagining with you and so [TS]

00:42:13 ◼   ► many people at camera think once it's [TS]

00:42:15 ◼   ► the Raven business 1 Roger Corman movie [TS]

00:42:16 ◼   ► with like Peter Lorre and I want to see [TS]

00:42:19 ◼   ► Christopher Lee Vincent Price and [TS]

00:42:21 ◼   ► there's this one magic duel [TS]

00:42:22 ◼   ► it's done like five dollars with [TS]

00:42:24 ◼   ► suspects when they like throw fireballs [TS]

00:42:25 ◼   ► at each other across this long table to [TS]

00:42:28 ◼   ► keep imagining sounds like every friday [TS]

00:42:30 ◼   ► night for me getting a long table with [TS]

00:42:32 ◼   ► my friends just casting like cheap [TS]

00:42:34 ◼   ► effects at each other [TS]

00:42:35 ◼   ► let me ask you this have you ever known [TS]

00:42:37 ◼   ► a border collie I i would not come up in [TS]

00:42:41 ◼   ► a culture where border collies were a [TS]

00:42:45 ◼   ► major currency the dogs that that I knew [TS]

00:42:48 ◼   ► growing up [TS]

00:42:49 ◼   ► acknowledgments inhaler Malamutes and [TS]

00:42:51 ◼   ► huskies and shepherds [TS]

00:42:53 ◼   ► and uh actually Bernese Mountain Dogs [TS]

00:42:56 ◼   ► big dogs made for cold weather com and [TS]

00:43:00 ◼   ► then you might be surprised but my high [TS]

00:43:03 ◼   ► school girlfriend their family were [TS]

00:43:05 ◼   ► weiner dog owners and uncle are winners [TS]

00:43:07 ◼   ► and weird the wiener dogs could never go [TS]

00:43:10 ◼   ► outside because nature would kill them [TS]

00:43:12 ◼   ► instantly Alaska they're not sitting [TS]

00:43:15 ◼   ► there like an invasive exotic they're [TS]

00:43:17 ◼   ► not ever did [TS]

00:43:18 ◼   ► evasive they're not that suited for the [TS]

00:43:20 ◼   ► environment yeah the the Alaska itself [TS]

00:43:23 ◼   ► Alaska personified would see a wiener [TS]

00:43:25 ◼   ► dog and immediately crush it with just [TS]

00:43:28 ◼   ► it would just direct some cool people in [TS]

00:43:30 ◼   ► Germany keep their house key inside you [TS]

00:43:32 ◼   ► know what I mean I don't Germans don't [TS]

00:43:34 ◼   ► have Huskies is that right well I mean [TS]

00:43:36 ◼   ► modern Germans can have anything they [TS]

00:43:38 ◼   ► want because their domain allmovie [TS]

00:43:40 ◼   ► Czechoslovakia because they're deutsche [TS]

00:43:41 ◼   ► mark became the euro and then that is [TS]

00:43:43 ◼   ► that has purchasing power but [TS]

00:43:46 ◼   ► traditionally know they had they had to [TS]

00:43:48 ◼   ► they made all kinds of dogs they're [TS]

00:43:50 ◼   ► they're the ultimate dog makers on a [TS]

00:43:52 ◼   ► child Chinese him a run for their money [TS]

00:43:55 ◼   ► I do you know the prison inmates on a [TS]

00:43:57 ◼   ► thought china has made some fock top [TS]

00:43:59 ◼   ► dogs England now here's the thing in [TS]

00:44:02 ◼   ► England in France they were very [TS]

00:44:03 ◼   ► practical reason ask about border [TS]

00:44:05 ◼   ► collies just quickly [TS]

00:44:06 ◼   ► I've been around a few border collies [TS]

00:44:07 ◼   ► and there's one thing in common with all [TS]

00:44:08 ◼   ► of them here's what happens [TS]

00:44:10 ◼   ► excuse me I think people go out but my [TS]

00:44:13 ◼   ► cough but another just gonna take off [TS]

00:44:14 ◼   ► but i think people go out they look on [TS]

00:44:16 ◼   ► the internet or they buy a dog book at [TS]

00:44:18 ◼   ► the barnes and noble bring it home oh my [TS]

00:44:19 ◼   ► god border collies [TS]

00:44:20 ◼   ► look at that sweet face look at those [TS]

00:44:23 ◼   ► eyes oh my gosh well yeah they read the [TS]

00:44:24 ◼   ► first paragraph what they don't read is [TS]

00:44:27 ◼   ► that dog will never stop hurting [TS]

00:44:30 ◼   ► everything [TS]

00:44:31 ◼   ► oh right of course well i had a friend [TS]

00:44:33 ◼   ► that had an Australian Shepherd that dog [TS]

00:44:36 ◼   ► could actually climb walls but the base [TS]

00:44:41 ◼   ► AC ducts everywhere they gotta see ducks [TS]

00:44:43 ◼   ► there they're herding instinct is so [TS]

00:44:44 ◼   ► powerful that they will heard like dust [TS]

00:44:48 ◼   ► around the house they will heard [TS]

00:44:50 ◼   ► seriously build they'll sit and heard [TS]

00:44:52 ◼   ► anything that moves if you had a if you [TS]

00:44:54 ◼   ► have some streamers on a fan they would [TS]

00:44:56 ◼   ► try to get those streamers like I've [TS]

00:44:58 ◼   ► heard this from CS like a cat I've heard [TS]

00:45:00 ◼   ► this from three different people who've [TS]

00:45:01 ◼   ► had this that to varying degrees my [TS]

00:45:03 ◼   ► friend my friend Richard in particular [TS]

00:45:05 ◼   ► up in a border collie house and they [TS]

00:45:07 ◼   ► heard the children if he tried to leave [TS]

00:45:09 ◼   ► the dog [TS]

00:45:10 ◼   ► excuse me if he tried to leave the yard [TS]

00:45:11 ◼   ► the border collie would grab him in a [TS]

00:45:14 ◼   ► non harmful way by the seat of his pants [TS]

00:45:16 ◼   ► and drag him back into the yard which is [TS]

00:45:18 ◼   ► I think an advantage if you have [TS]

00:45:20 ◼   ► children who are stupid so you just need [TS]

00:45:24 ◼   ► to find the right duck for your dog and [TS]

00:45:27 ◼   ► the right dog for your duck if you have [TS]

00:45:28 ◼   ► stupid goes both ways get a border [TS]

00:45:30 ◼   ► collie if you're just stupid children [TS]

00:45:33 ◼   ► smart dog [TS]

00:45:34 ◼   ► yeah if your children heart then maybe [TS]

00:45:36 ◼   ► you need a dog that doesn't have that [TS]

00:45:37 ◼   ► and so if you've got a super genius in [TS]

00:45:39 ◼   ► the house like a super train you it's [TS]

00:45:40 ◼   ► okay to have a dumb dog now get this is [TS]

00:45:42 ◼   ► not the i don't see my kids and your mom [TS]

00:45:44 ◼   ► still listens [TS]

00:45:44 ◼   ► Gibson is a not no wait don't tell me i [TS]

00:45:46 ◼   ► know this oh shit it's not a greyhound [TS]

00:45:48 ◼   ► it's a was first letter first love be a [TS]

00:45:52 ◼   ► bird before so I'm course I upon a [TS]

00:45:59 ◼   ► borzoi that's exactly right you found [TS]

00:46:01 ◼   ► you found it in your mind [TS]

00:46:03 ◼   ► Gibson is a borzoi although he is a [TS]

00:46:06 ◼   ► borzoi crossed with a with it so he's a [TS]

00:46:10 ◼   ► second service fucking dog [TS]

00:46:12 ◼   ► it is he's a smaller dog while he's that [TS]

00:46:14 ◼   ► he's less nervous but he has incredible [TS]

00:46:17 ◼   ► have been around with it's like a great [TS]

00:46:19 ◼   ► math it is but the but he's much bigger [TS]

00:46:21 ◼   ► dog meant whip-it Gibson has doggy on we [TS]

00:46:24 ◼   ► got along just he does so he is consumed [TS]

00:46:29 ◼   ► he has anxiety which but really he has [TS]

00:46:33 ◼   ► he has on wee man only spend many many [TS]

00:46:36 ◼   ► hours sitting with his his paws under [TS]

00:46:40 ◼   ► his chin staring up the door wondering [TS]

00:46:43 ◼   ► about things you can use it to his [TS]

00:46:44 ◼   ► meeting this need a doc he's a cipher [TS]

00:46:46 ◼   ► his his dad because he has a doc which [TS]

00:46:49 ◼   ► is a spaghetti he wants spaghetti is his [TS]

00:46:53 ◼   ► luck he wants spaghetti and I that [TS]

00:46:55 ◼   ► there's nothing to account for this [TS]

00:46:57 ◼   ► there's nothing in the history of this [TS]

00:46:58 ◼   ► dog that would indicate that spaghetti [TS]

00:47:01 ◼   ► was the was was the holy grail for his [TS]

00:47:04 ◼   ► cat that ate spaghetti compulsively yeah [TS]

00:47:06 ◼   ► this is so bored boys were were the [TS]

00:47:09 ◼   ► pressure that [TS]

00:47:10 ◼   ► yeah they were the dogs of the Czar's [TS]

00:47:12 ◼   ► and they were bred to [TS]

00:47:14 ◼   ► to hunt wolves and they would work as a [TS]

00:47:17 ◼   ► team so up three boys would approach a [TS]

00:47:21 ◼   ► wolf and at it I don't know if you ever [TS]

00:47:23 ◼   ► seen a wolf up close what wolves do not [TS]

00:47:26 ◼   ► like to be approached [TS]

00:47:28 ◼   ► lets say by anything will do the [TS]

00:47:30 ◼   ► approaching in this case the boards [TS]

00:47:32 ◼   ► which are huge dogs a proper borzoi you [TS]

00:47:35 ◼   ► know stands three and a half feet tall [TS]

00:47:37 ◼   ► there there like at the at the shoulder [TS]

00:47:39 ◼   ► you don't like God look at the size of a [TS]

00:47:41 ◼   ► Schnauzer it's big [TS]

00:47:43 ◼   ► they're like and they can they can run [TS]

00:47:46 ◼   ► in bursts up to like 50 miles an hour [TS]

00:47:48 ◼   ► and so three of these dogs would would [TS]

00:47:51 ◼   ► would come up on a wall somewhere some [TS]

00:47:53 ◼   ► other way more than a hundred pounds her [TS]

00:47:55 ◼   ► massive I thought these were a little [TS]

00:47:57 ◼   ► skinny motherfuckers don't Gibson has [TS]

00:47:58 ◼   ► been some of some of this has been bred [TS]

00:48:00 ◼   ► out of him get the the closest thing [TS]

00:48:02 ◼   ► that Gibson has ever seen to a wolf is a [TS]

00:48:05 ◼   ► is a very wolf-like squirrel but the [TS]

00:48:10 ◼   ► real boards like my mom used to breed [TS]

00:48:12 ◼   ► boards and she lived out in that she [TS]

00:48:13 ◼   ► lived out in Kitsap County here in [TS]

00:48:15 ◼   ► Washington which is basically like you [TS]

00:48:16 ◼   ► have to take a ferry and and then you [TS]

00:48:19 ◼   ► are living in the forest [TS]

00:48:20 ◼   ► you're living in the trees where [TS]

00:48:22 ◼   ► sasquatches come and and want to borrow [TS]

00:48:25 ◼   ► a cup of sugar but she said she had [TS]

00:48:30 ◼   ► these pores and her the queen of her [TS]

00:48:32 ◼   ► boys I pack was a dog named anushka and [TS]

00:48:36 ◼   ► they would drive down these long country [TS]

00:48:38 ◼   ► roads out in the forests there and there [TS]

00:48:41 ◼   ► was a person who had a wolf hybrid this [TS]

00:48:45 ◼   ► is in the sixties and she said the first [TS]

00:48:47 ◼   ► time that this when this person first [TS]

00:48:50 ◼   ► got the wolf they turned a corner on [TS]

00:48:52 ◼   ► this long country road still deep in the [TS]

00:48:55 ◼   ► forest about a half a mile from this [TS]

00:48:57 ◼   ► person's house and manisha set up in the [TS]

00:48:59 ◼   ► back seat of the car and started howling [TS]

00:49:02 ◼   ► and it wasn't the first time the first [TS]

00:49:05 ◼   ► time it was the spookiest sound my mom [TS]

00:49:08 ◼   ► said the spooky sound that she'd ever [TS]

00:49:09 ◼   ► heard and she didn't know that the wolf [TS]

00:49:12 ◼   ► was there yet she only found out like a [TS]

00:49:14 ◼   ► week later that this guy hadn't owned a [TS]

00:49:16 ◼   ► wolf now and Minister howl for like 45 [TS]

00:49:20 ◼   ► minutes [TS]

00:49:21 ◼   ► same as they drove just with the with [TS]

00:49:24 ◼   ► this prehistoric knowledge that her prey [TS]

00:49:27 ◼   ► had a in her that she had never in her [TS]

00:49:31 ◼   ► life smell the wolf and now she smelled [TS]

00:49:34 ◼   ► one and she knew something [TS]

00:49:35 ◼   ► isn't that interesting is so we sit [TS]

00:49:37 ◼   ► around wondering about crows and ravens [TS]

00:49:38 ◼   ► talking behind our backs right but [TS]

00:49:41 ◼   ► you're telling me that this is a dog [TS]

00:49:42 ◼   ► that it was completely unprompted that [TS]

00:49:45 ◼   ► duck popped up except it was a wolf [TS]

00:49:47 ◼   ► it was a wolf and the way they wish they [TS]

00:49:48 ◼   ► would hunt wolves is that the the three [TS]

00:49:51 ◼   ► dogs would get on the so the wolf [TS]

00:49:52 ◼   ► obviously is moving as fast as they can [TS]

00:49:54 ◼   ► and these three dogs are right on its [TS]

00:49:56 ◼   ► tail and it's kinda scary though is it [TS]

00:49:58 ◼   ► scared the Wolfhound the wolf the wolf [TS]

00:50:00 ◼   ► knows that the wolf found that this is [TS]

00:50:02 ◼   ► what's coming for it you know yes the [TS]

00:50:04 ◼   ► wolf is scared because behind the [TS]

00:50:06 ◼   ► Wolfhound is the freaking czar and 400 [TS]

00:50:10 ◼   ► people on horseback all carrying [TS]

00:50:12 ◼   ► blunderbusses and it's a bad scene there [TS]

00:50:16 ◼   ► they are blowing on trumpets like the [TS]

00:50:18 ◼   ► wolf is was not into this from the [TS]

00:50:20 ◼   ► beginning and then when he sees these [TS]

00:50:21 ◼   ► Wolfhounds he knows or she knows this is [TS]

00:50:24 ◼   ► a bad deal [TS]

00:50:25 ◼   ► oh so the first Wolfhound is trained to [TS]

00:50:28 ◼   ► grab the wolf's front paws like so the [TS]

00:50:33 ◼   ► foot of the first dog gets in alongside [TS]

00:50:34 ◼   ► of the wolf and two latches onto its [TS]

00:50:38 ◼   ► front paws trippin it where the second [TS]

00:50:41 ◼   ► was found then can grab onto one of the [TS]

00:50:44 ◼   ► Wolves hind paws spinning it this is all [TS]

00:50:48 ◼   ► happening at 40 miles an hour it's been [TS]

00:50:51 ◼   ► really don't have to have a white board [TS]

00:50:52 ◼   ► meeting about this they just this is [TS]

00:50:54 ◼   ► what they do they know what their job is [TS]

00:50:56 ◼   ► and then the third one gets the wolf by [TS]

00:50:58 ◼   ► the neck and they hold it for the Tsar [TS]

00:51:02 ◼   ► whoa [TS]

00:51:04 ◼   ► and they are been meant to do it they're [TS]

00:51:06 ◼   ► just this is how they this is why they [TS]

00:51:08 ◼   ► live and i have one of these dogs I grew [TS]

00:51:11 ◼   ► up with these dogs and they are bananas [TS]

00:51:14 ◼   ► they are absolutely bonkers [TS]

00:51:16 ◼   ► because let me that need i say there are [TS]

00:51:20 ◼   ► these skills are not called into daily [TS]

00:51:23 ◼   ► action right we do not I do not have a [TS]

00:51:25 ◼   ► way to activate this power in my [TS]

00:51:28 ◼   ► thoughts because we I'd i'm not on [TS]

00:51:30 ◼   ► horseback [TS]

00:51:31 ◼   ► I i do have a blunderbuss but it's not [TS]

00:51:33 ◼   ► useful in the city [TS]

00:51:34 ◼   ► and I you know we're not hunting wolves [TS]

00:51:37 ◼   ► so here this dog has all these powers [TS]

00:51:38 ◼   ► these incredible powers and it's just [TS]

00:51:41 ◼   ► like sorry you want to go for a walk [TS]

00:51:44 ◼   ► down to the playground and I and chase a [TS]

00:51:46 ◼   ► tennis ball is that cool with you or is [TS]

00:51:49 ◼   ► that and that is that gonna be enough [TS]

00:51:51 ◼   ► today [TS]

00:51:52 ◼   ► one time I was I was I I went through a [TS]

00:51:54 ◼   ► phase where i was riding bicycles and [TS]

00:51:56 ◼   ► because it was a thing that you could do [TS]

00:51:58 ◼   ► with girls you know I mean let's go for [TS]

00:52:00 ◼   ► a bike ride [TS]

00:52:01 ◼   ► oh that sounds fun and then we would [TS]

00:52:03 ◼   ► ride around Seattle which is a city of [TS]

00:52:05 ◼   ► ten thousand hills but I took Gibson [TS]

00:52:08 ◼   ► with this one time took him off the [TS]

00:52:09 ◼   ► leash and it was three o'clock in the [TS]

00:52:11 ◼   ► morning we were going on a bike ride and [TS]

00:52:13 ◼   ► we wrote around town we probably road i [TS]

00:52:17 ◼   ► don't know how many miles we went on [TS]

00:52:18 ◼   ► this bike ride and Gibson ran alongside [TS]

00:52:21 ◼   ► us absolutely as fast as we could panel [TS]

00:52:24 ◼   ► he ran alongside us with this look on [TS]

00:52:26 ◼   ► his face like come on are we going to [TS]

00:52:28 ◼   ► really like kicking in now are you gonna [TS]

00:52:29 ◼   ► kick it into gear we gotta run is this [TS]

00:52:32 ◼   ► and he he kept having this [TS]

00:52:33 ◼   ► disappointment like this is it right [TS]

00:52:35 ◼   ► this is as fast as you can go [TS]

00:52:37 ◼   ► I like your I see what you're saying so [TS]

00:52:39 ◼   ► ege you you have really pushed him to [TS]

00:52:42 ◼   ► his limit in the way that he's looking [TS]

00:52:43 ◼   ► for their there it was impossible if I [TS]

00:52:45 ◼   ► hadn't wanted to go from a canter to [TS]

00:52:47 ◼   ► like a gallop or something like yeah he [TS]

00:52:49 ◼   ► was just trotting alongside us as we're [TS]

00:52:51 ◼   ► barreling down these hills with this you [TS]

00:52:54 ◼   ► know look on his face like well this is [TS]

00:52:55 ◼   ► fun [TS]

00:52:56 ◼   ► this is new but also he is not is not [TS]

00:52:59 ◼   ► being used is underused as the great [TS]

00:53:02 ◼   ► pavement might have it and if i had if I [TS]

00:53:07 ◼   ► had a group of people with motorcycles [TS]

00:53:09 ◼   ► maybe we could have maybe we could have [TS]

00:53:12 ◼   ► like given Gibson a true opportunity to [TS]

00:53:15 ◼   ► two catches in her like uses wings [TS]

00:53:20 ◼   ► person here anyway so so Gibson in it [TS]

00:53:24 ◼   ► and he gets gets gets five walks a day I [TS]

00:53:26 ◼   ► mean he is not as far as dogs go [TS]

00:53:29 ◼   ► he's living the life of Riley but he has [TS]

00:53:31 ◼   ► all this doggy anhui because he's [TS]

00:53:33 ◼   ► dreaming of wolves and there are no [TS]

00:53:36 ◼   ► wolves ik that's horrible [TS]

00:53:40 ◼   ► well I matters let your mom your mom [TS]

00:53:42 ◼   ► does take him out said is true of every [TS]

00:53:44 ◼   ► dog [TS]

00:53:44 ◼   ► yeah yeah sometimes it's easier than [TS]

00:53:47 ◼   ► others i mean let again with the Chinese [TS]

00:53:48 ◼   ► these apartments saying but they are [TS]

00:53:50 ◼   ► they bred some serious lap dogs and some [TS]

00:53:53 ◼   ► fighting dogs right and it was a little [TS]

00:53:55 ◼   ► dogs those lap dogs are all meant to [TS]

00:53:57 ◼   ► guard temples right their job they make [TS]

00:54:00 ◼   ► that terrible yap yap yap sound because [TS]

00:54:02 ◼   ► their job is to wake everybody up when [TS]

00:54:04 ◼   ► the barbarians are at the gates you know [TS]

00:54:07 ◼   ► there they weren't there [TS]

00:54:08 ◼   ► I mean sure they're meant to like [TS]

00:54:09 ◼   ► disguise your boner while you're sitting [TS]

00:54:12 ◼   ► in a chair let's duck this it's job is [TS]

00:54:16 ◼   ► like what a folder i got a boner hiding [TS]

00:54:20 ◼   ► dog would be so handy [TS]

00:54:22 ◼   ► it's got a boner Genesis they're not [TS]

00:54:23 ◼   ► like that just then you just petting the [TS]

00:54:25 ◼   ► dog and you're like hello welcome and [TS]

00:54:28 ◼   ► you're petting the dog but really yeah [TS]

00:54:30 ◼   ► it's just the dog is just watching [TS]

00:54:32 ◼   ► you're watching the mate pick up a brush [TS]

00:54:34 ◼   ► yeah it's just a thin sort of like [TS]

00:54:36 ◼   ► carpet between you and the bomb but I [TS]

00:54:39 ◼   ► feel like this is true of people to know [TS]

00:54:41 ◼   ► person we did not evolve for 10,000 [TS]

00:54:44 ◼   ► years so that you can be so that you can [TS]

00:54:47 ◼   ► work in a best buy [TS]

00:54:49 ◼   ► have you ever been to a best buy i have [TS]

00:54:52 ◼   ► to walk through the aisles and since [TS]

00:54:55 ◼   ► there's no dock so there's all these [TS]

00:54:56 ◼   ► twenty-three-year-old salespeople and [TS]

00:54:58 ◼   ► every one of them is thinking I was bred [TS]

00:55:00 ◼   ► to chase wolves may I help you find a [TS]

00:55:05 ◼   ► quarter-inch 28 inch adapter up and it's [TS]

00:55:10 ◼   ► like yeah you were bred to catch wolves [TS]

00:55:11 ◼   ► but in fact I do need you to help me [TS]

00:55:15 ◼   ► find a quarter-inch 28 inch adapter and [TS]

00:55:18 ◼   ► they shuffle off and they try and make a [TS]

00:55:20 ◼   ► joke with you they try and make common [TS]

00:55:23 ◼   ► cause with you and they're they're [TS]

00:55:24 ◼   ► screaming behind their smiles like get [TS]

00:55:26 ◼   ► me out of here please please i will work [TS]

00:55:28 ◼   ► as your cabin boy i will be your slave [TS]

00:55:31 ◼   ► do whatever it I don't care [TS]

00:55:34 ◼   ► please just get me out of this best buy [TS]

00:55:35 ◼   ► and you helped me feel alive get me back [TS]

00:55:37 ◼   ► to my atavistic duck chasing nature [TS]

00:55:39 ◼   ► that's right let me be let me be the [TS]

00:55:42 ◼   ► person that is here you know let me be [TS]

00:55:44 ◼   ► your assistant who just coils your [TS]

00:55:45 ◼   ► cables and and touches 9-volt batteries [TS]

00:55:49 ◼   ► to to his tongue to see if they have any [TS]

00:55:50 ◼   ► charge left in them i'll be that person [TS]

00:55:52 ◼   ► for you and I'm like I just need a [TS]

00:55:54 ◼   ► quarter and two inch adapter dude thanks [TS]

00:55:56 ◼   ► though [TS]

00:55:57 ◼   ► room take it easy Sally Field your bro [TS]

00:56:00 ◼   ► see you later bro peace out and they're [TS]

00:56:02 ◼   ► there and I walk out the door and I am [TS]

00:56:04 ◼   ► going out literally to hunt wolves at [TS]

00:56:08 ◼   ► bay our lives here with you capable with [TS]

00:56:10 ◼   ► my new cable and they are adjusting [TS]

00:56:12 ◼   ► their name tag and they're just like you [TS]

00:56:14 ◼   ► shouldn't that just saying they should [TS]

00:56:15 ◼   ► really pick up the monster cables and [TS]

00:56:17 ◼   ► you should get the replacement insurance [TS]

00:56:18 ◼   ► you have to get hdmi you want to make [TS]

00:56:21 ◼   ► sure you get a digital HD and you know [TS]

00:56:22 ◼   ► what these have a lifetime guarantee [TS]

00:56:24 ◼   ► and so you know what I have here in my [TS]

00:56:26 ◼   ► house I have like three milk crates full [TS]

00:56:29 ◼   ► of cables that don't work anymore that [TS]

00:56:31 ◼   ► have a lifetime guarantee that i keep [TS]

00:56:32 ◼   ► meaning to take down to guitar center [TS]

00:56:33 ◼   ► and dumping on there on that you know [TS]

00:56:36 ◼   ► the right inside the sliding door like [TS]

00:56:39 ◼   ► some just gonna walk in and just dump [TS]

00:56:41 ◼   ► this pile of dead cables be like [TS]

00:56:43 ◼   ► lifetime guarantee my that's what you [TS]

00:56:45 ◼   ► said when i bought these I want 650 [TS]

00:56:49 ◼   ► dollars with a new cable in and they'll [TS]

00:56:50 ◼   ► say contact the manufacturer don't get [TS]

00:56:52 ◼   ► well you exactly that's exactly what [TS]

00:56:54 ◼   ► those see how this is where I think cats [TS]

00:56:55 ◼   ► are interesting and I'm not I'm not I'm [TS]

00:56:57 ◼   ► not a big cat person but I'm not anymore [TS]

00:57:00 ◼   ► i'm not really a big dog person I don't [TS]

00:57:02 ◼   ► not a big person but uh so the person [TS]

00:57:05 ◼   ► who first you have a daughter now you [TS]

00:57:07 ◼   ► have you don't need you don't need a [TS]

00:57:08 ◼   ► proxy daughter you have a you have an [TS]

00:57:11 ◼   ► actual daughter yeah I married a model I [TS]

00:57:12 ◼   ► don't need to magazine but listen i'm [TS]

00:57:14 ◼   ► not going to say that having a pet is [TS]

00:57:15 ◼   ► like having a child that's a terrible [TS]

00:57:18 ◼   ► thing to say that please send your [TS]

00:57:20 ◼   ► letters to Merlin yeah i'm using this [TS]

00:57:24 ◼   ► John Roderick address for that now the [TS]

00:57:27 ◼   ► cats now you ever you ever fuck with the [TS]

00:57:29 ◼   ► cat-like with a laser pointer your you [TS]

00:57:32 ◼   ► put a hot dog on a string on a ceiling [TS]

00:57:33 ◼   ► fan i have fucked with cats in more ways [TS]

00:57:36 ◼   ► than I can say there's so many ways [TS]

00:57:39 ◼   ► because the the cats are just smart [TS]

00:57:40 ◼   ► enough to be really we can really fuck [TS]

00:57:43 ◼   ► with them [TS]

00:57:44 ◼   ► have you ever put scotch tape around the [TS]

00:57:46 ◼   ► cat's paws I have not [TS]

00:57:48 ◼   ► what does it do well also a cat stand [TS]

00:57:51 ◼   ► that and also a sense you know it when [TS]

00:57:52 ◼   ► it's spreading its paws and making [TS]

00:57:53 ◼   ► biscuits on you it's that's part of how [TS]

00:57:55 ◼   ► it gets its scent on your right is its [TS]

00:57:57 ◼   ► it is not part of it i didn't know that [TS]

00:57:59 ◼   ► you had can make biscuits on you have [TS]

00:58:01 ◼   ► many many times group but a cat stands [TS]

00:58:04 ◼   ► by spreading its paws right it it its [TS]

00:58:06 ◼   ► weight is it is already to find it [TS]

00:58:09 ◼   ► this way to spread by spreading its Bob [TS]

00:58:11 ◼   ► so if you tape a cat's paws it didn't [TS]

00:58:15 ◼   ► and you put it down on the floor it [TS]

00:58:18 ◼   ► dances and hops on it little stops it [TS]

00:58:22 ◼   ► can't spread it [TS]

00:58:23 ◼   ► told ya so don't do this don't do that [TS]

00:58:26 ◼   ► so wrong [TS]

00:58:28 ◼   ► terrible thing I was know if you have a [TS]

00:58:29 ◼   ► retriever don't give it a tablespoon of [TS]

00:58:31 ◼   ► peanut butter [TS]

00:58:32 ◼   ► whatever you do never seen a dog in a [TS]

00:58:34 ◼   ► tablespoon of peanut butter [TS]

00:58:35 ◼   ► you know what's the thing that you don't [TS]

00:58:38 ◼   ► think it's something that they do [TS]

00:58:39 ◼   ► naturally they fill those little Kong's [TS]

00:58:42 ◼   ► those little dog toys that yeah it's [TS]

00:58:44 ◼   ► still them fill them with peanut butter [TS]