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Roderick on the Line

Ep. 49: "A Red Light in a Strange Town"

 

00:00:00   Roderick on the line is unabashedly [TS]

00:00:01   sponsored by a glue software a digital [TS]

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00:00:05   with other people sign up for a free [TS]

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00:00:10   find your doc hello hi John [TS]

00:00:18   hi Merlin has gone well I i woke up this [TS]

00:00:25   morning I went downstairs and I with you [TS]

00:00:27   and I pushed back the beginning of our [TS]

00:00:29   podcast as a matter of routine is deal [TS]

00:00:32   but I always assume that you are pushing [TS]

00:00:34   back at the start time because you have [TS]

00:00:37   many things to do in the morning you [TS]

00:00:39   have to get some hot dogs you have to go [TS]

00:00:40   to the post office walgreens walgreens [TS]

00:00:44   you have to go to walgreens I'm always [TS]

00:00:45   pushing it back because I'm still asleep [TS]

00:00:47   and i look at my phone and I go god it's [TS]

00:00:49   time to do it i push back push back [TS]

00:00:52   so this morning I went downstairs i made [TS]

00:00:53   a pot of coffee I realized I didn't have [TS]

00:00:55   any cream mmm [TS]

00:00:56   and so I had to use vanilla ice cream [TS]

00:00:59   and as good as good as that sounds I [TS]

00:01:05   don't like to start my day with a with [TS]

00:01:07   vanilla ice cream in my coffee [TS]

00:01:09   that's that's that's nice as an option [TS]

00:01:11   when it comes up and you're in the mood [TS]

00:01:14   but I mean that's like having eat [TS]

00:01:16   popcorn for breakfast [TS]

00:01:18   yeah yeah yeah exactly I'm not [TS]

00:01:20   celebrating this [TS]

00:01:21   mhm I mean that there's a vanilla taste [TS]

00:01:24   now to my coffee and that is a little [TS]

00:01:26   bit like like sissy coffee seek out and [TS]

00:01:29   it's a screws up your coffee workflow [TS]

00:01:32   because you're introducing well I'll [TS]

00:01:34   tell you this if you're living it and [TS]

00:01:36   you're introducing a whole new level of [TS]

00:01:39   temperature and flavor and texture [TS]

00:01:41   integers a greasy texture no to [TS]

00:01:45   absolutely that's the xanthan gum [TS]

00:01:46   talking haha and the jewel on did you [TS]

00:01:49   make your coffee any differently i'm [TS]

00:01:51   guessing major you make great coffee [TS]

00:01:53   did you make any different think you [TS]

00:01:54   know seriously eat [TS]

00:01:56   it's amazing how fast you can make it [TS]

00:01:57   and so did you did you do you realize at [TS]

00:02:00   the time that you're going to have to [TS]

00:02:02   use the ice cream did you know is that i [TS]

00:02:04   did not prepare has already done was hot [TS]

00:02:06   in the pot rated drink [TS]

00:02:07   yeah I didn't prepare the coffee in any [TS]

00:02:09   way I don't even [TS]

00:02:09   why would have done this yet a clock [TS]

00:02:11   running I did I was like coffee is going [TS]

00:02:13   got that I'm ready I'm gonna put I'm [TS]

00:02:15   gonna put some clothes on out of respect [TS]

00:02:17   to do for our listeners and and I [TS]

00:02:20   respect for you Merlin thank you and and [TS]

00:02:23   then I got some clothes on and i got [TS]

00:02:25   that I got that that by my mug of coffee [TS]

00:02:27   which says spotted brown munchen on it [TS]

00:02:30   and I am I was all full of coffee and I [TS]

00:02:33   go oh there's no cream and I mean I can [TS]

00:02:35   drink black coffee but it's not that's [TS]

00:02:37   not how I preferred and so I scream I [TS]

00:02:39   don't you know if I i think if i had if [TS]

00:02:42   I had not been so sleepy if I had a [TS]

00:02:43   second to think about it i would have [TS]

00:02:45   said i would have forgone the ice cream [TS]

00:02:47   and just had black coffee but I made a [TS]

00:02:49   snap decision something sandy it's all [TS]

00:02:53   about huh yeah cuz there's an X that's [TS]

00:02:55   going to start my ex's of the post noon [TS]

00:02:58   letter [TS]

00:02:59   yeah I we had actually we had kind of a [TS]

00:03:01   white funk band called xanthan gum but [TS]

00:03:04   in the mid-nineties but it never took [TS]

00:03:05   they were white huh well I was in it [TS]

00:03:07   when you play remember I I think there's [TS]

00:03:15   something to this the John and it's it's [TS]

00:03:17   about expectations like for me once that [TS]

00:03:19   coffee the reason ask if there's a clock [TS]

00:03:21   running is like to me once that coffee [TS]

00:03:22   is dripped and it's going [TS]

00:03:24   yeah personally I'm in a different state [TS]

00:03:25   of mind like no matter how tired I am on [TS]

00:03:28   some level if i get up and the first [TS]

00:03:30   thing I realized is I don't have cream [TS]

00:03:32   half in my case that that is going to [TS]

00:03:34   factor slightly into it like you can't [TS]

00:03:36   walk to your 7-eleven where the junkies [TS]

00:03:38   are you you would have to get a hoot to [TS]

00:03:39   drive there right [TS]

00:03:40   mhm photos by but still I mean you might [TS]

00:03:44   from the outset say why I need to make [TS]

00:03:45   some different decisions maybe I should [TS]

00:03:47   have a very strong tea when we should [TS]

00:03:49   maybe I should live in a different place [TS]

00:03:50   because there is a boat dekha two blocks [TS]

00:03:53   from my house is licensed it's a license [TS]

00:03:56   Bodega and I walked in there the first [TS]

00:03:59   week I lived here and there's a korean [TS]

00:04:02   kid sitting by making the counter [TS]

00:04:04   playing a video game and I said where's [TS]

00:04:07   your half-and-half and he looked up and [TS]

00:04:09   said what's half and half [TS]

00:04:12   Christ and they literally don't have [TS]

00:04:14   half and half there because it's one of [TS]

00:04:16   those but niggas that sells faygo [TS]

00:04:18   menthol cigarettes and lottery tickets [TS]

00:04:20   and lottery tickets and like 75 [TS]

00:04:24   different kinds of malt liquor and it's [TS]

00:04:26   really more of a general a Dago you can [TS]

00:04:29   have the juggalo bodega you can't have [TS]

00:04:32   milk 11 milk in here that isn't flavored [TS]

00:04:35   with strawberry Quik honey's like listen [TS]

00:04:37   man I just my folks on this place i'm [TS]

00:04:41   just i'm just waiting to get out John [TS]

00:04:43   you know me I don't like to work ping [TS]

00:04:44   pong but I'm just saying that's this [TS]

00:04:46   this sounds like something from from a [TS]

00:04:48   rejected spike lee movie you got to get [TS]

00:04:50   your in the year in the african-american [TS]

00:04:51   well you're a very diverse part of town [TS]

00:04:53   to put it actually right you're the only [TS]

00:04:55   white person in the entire part of your [TS]

00:04:56   county is that correct [TS]

00:04:57   haha no in fact my County are you [TS]

00:05:00   arguing it desperately ridiculously [TS]

00:05:01   insanely impossibly diverse neighborhood [TS]

00:05:03   it is it is literally and you know I [TS]

00:05:07   don't miss you now wherever is literally [TS]

00:05:09   the most diverse County in America which [TS]

00:05:12   means which means that that there are [TS]

00:05:15   just as many white people here as there [TS]

00:05:17   are South Pacific Islanders or Native [TS]

00:05:20   Americans or any any group you could [TS]

00:05:23   care to name their there is an equal [TS]

00:05:25   number of the of that group [TS]

00:05:27   demographically in my and that and that [TS]

00:05:31   bears out even on my block to take [TS]

00:05:34   westchester county as a new york as a [TS]

00:05:36   pie graph and that's gonna be is gonna [TS]

00:05:38   be probably a pretty big white piece [TS]

00:05:41   there same eighty percent white people [TS]

00:05:43   twenty percent joo's boyfriend and point [TS]

00:05:46   three percent other just for my cards [TS]

00:05:48   for my card you break out that jury you [TS]

00:05:51   break them out and pie graph I don't [TS]

00:05:53   have a problem at all d souza far [TS]

00:05:55   discovery launch kazi I think they would [TS]

00:05:57   do that in westchester county just to [TS]

00:05:58   give the appearance of diversity in here [TS]

00:06:00   in Seattle I don't think you I don't [TS]

00:06:02   know you don't need that you don't need [TS]

00:06:03   that the group does it look like a clock [TS]

00:06:06   I mean are there like perhaps 12 slices [TS]

00:06:08   I mean I guess there are then different [TS]

00:06:10   night [TS]

00:06:10   it's alright because you know the west [TS]

00:06:12   coast is it is a very diverse area in [TS]

00:06:14   the in the first place because we have [TS]

00:06:15   had numerous waves of migration from not [TS]

00:06:19   only from europe etc but from from Asia [TS]

00:06:22   and points beyond [TS]

00:06:25   we got sushi first year that's right we [TS]

00:06:28   have the best thai food in America here [TS]

00:06:30   in Seattle so but but there's also i [TS]

00:06:33   mean i think you I think they actually [TS]

00:06:34   break this pie graph here down into like [TS]

00:06:36   okay you know these are the Tongans and [TS]

00:06:40   these are the Samoans and belen and [TS]

00:06:42   we're we're we're registering that might [TS]

00:06:44   all be the same slice of pie in a lot of [TS]

00:06:46   places in a lot of places you would [TS]

00:06:47   South Pacific Islanders would not even [TS]

00:06:49   rate a slice of the pie they would be [TS]

00:06:51   lumped in with other but here they're [TS]

00:06:53   thinking it's been that you remember [TS]

00:06:56   this is actually think becoming kind of [TS]

00:06:57   a thing especially with voting and so [TS]

00:06:59   forth but you know its senses but used [TS]

00:07:01   to be for the longest time when you have [TS]

00:07:03   to check off that little box it was [TS]

00:07:04   either white black or was it was white [TS]

00:07:09   hispanic or black non-hispanic and the [TS]

00:07:12   magic maybe the introduced asian later [TS]

00:07:13   at the occasion was a form of black for [TS]

00:07:15   a long time [TS]

00:07:16   nowadays you know oh I don't you know I [TS]

00:07:19   don't remember exactly it's been a long [TS]

00:07:20   time but I'm just saying like now you [TS]

00:07:22   get on down by where scott simpson lives [TS]

00:07:23   that part of that part of the the [TS]

00:07:25   peninsula and I mean you would need to [TS]

00:07:28   break down the Pacific Islands in some [TS]

00:07:30   very specific ways that there that I [TS]

00:07:32   think I think there's a lot of Simone [TS]

00:07:33   people especially the food court and [TS]

00:07:35   there's there's there's a as a filipino [TS]

00:07:37   fast-food place there is any philippine [TS]

00:07:40   filipino filipino filipina but you can [TS]

00:07:43   say I think filipino is the overall [TS]

00:07:45   overarching term was you know I've [TS]

00:07:47   traveled extensively I've been to at [TS]

00:07:48   least six states in three countries and [TS]

00:07:50   I'm I know when I was in hawaii i was [TS]

00:07:52   completely baffled by it all the food [TS]

00:07:54   seemed like a joke on the white guy I [TS]

00:07:56   didn't shave ice was the only thing I [TS]

00:07:59   don't have is the fried spam and fried [TS]

00:08:02   spam like on the face of it sounds like [TS]

00:08:04   a pretty good deal so there's a lot of [TS]

00:08:06   joke foods in hawaii as you know to keep [TS]

00:08:08   the good food for the locals you know [TS]

00:08:10   ever had [TS]

00:08:10   oh yeah I was that your sons are you [TS]

00:08:12   kidding me let those folks pretty big [TS]

00:08:14   three and some pretty big ribeyes point [TS]

00:08:16   really o.o here are some taro root with [TS]

00:08:19   your black coffee that's my question to [TS]

00:08:21   you John Roderick that you're in a [TS]

00:08:22   working neighborhood these are these are [TS]

00:08:23   people apart from yourself who work for [TS]

00:08:25   a living [TS]

00:08:26   what are they drinking in the morning or [TS]

00:08:27   taking in the morning that's helping [TS]

00:08:30   them get through the day [TS]

00:08:31   how are you how are there not more [TS]

00:08:32   people that need half and half for the [TS]

00:08:33   coffee that is a really good question [TS]

00:08:36   that's right now because gets to a very [TS]

00:08:38   Roderick on the line type question here [TS]

00:08:41   because you know you've taught us so [TS]

00:08:43   many times in the past you can tell a [TS]

00:08:44   lot about a location right there are [TS]

00:08:47   there hills are the rivers we can see [TS]

00:08:49   boston was laid out by cows it's in [TS]

00:08:51   store for that has never occurred to me [TS]

00:08:52   and now I'm wondering whether my [TS]

00:08:54   neighbors are all putting vanilla ice [TS]

00:08:56   cream in their coffee and I have just [TS]

00:08:58   like crossed over some invisible line [TS]

00:09:00   i'm now I've become just become a local [TS]

00:09:02   huh and interested in as much as you can [TS]

00:09:06   recall her say do you remember if there [TS]

00:09:09   is a frozen area inside of the lottery [TS]

00:09:12   store let alone the other no ice cream [TS]

00:09:14   such do they have frozen goods there [TS]

00:09:15   they do but they're all in the ice cream [TS]

00:09:18   sandwich and popsicle variety i don't [TS]

00:09:21   think they have I don't think you can [TS]

00:09:22   buy a carton of ice cream there is a [TS]

00:09:24   goddamn tragedy so even if it really is [TS]

00:09:26   and you know this store is perfectly [TS]

00:09:28   sugars they sell sugar have additional [TS]

00:09:29   sugar [TS]

00:09:30   well everything that is sugar and [TS]

00:09:32   everything but I don't think they have [TS]

00:09:32   any I don't think they have any staples [TS]

00:09:34   I don't you go buy a bag of flour [TS]

00:09:37   I mean I think you could buy a bag of [TS]

00:09:39   flour 100 runs out front he's gonna [TS]

00:09:44   pause his game and help you with the [TS]

00:09:46   flower garden out front yeah I'm saying [TS]

00:09:48   out front of the store but well you know [TS]

00:09:50   I walk into the store and I look around [TS]

00:09:51   and I think why wouldn't be great if [TS]

00:09:54   there was like a little rack of [TS]

00:09:55   artisanal cheese and some and an olive [TS]

00:09:58   case not all the cheese just a career [TS]

00:10:00   for nice cheeses and then and then some [TS]

00:10:02   some local wines and you know a little [TS]

00:10:06   hand picked produce and this kid would [TS]

00:10:08   put his video game down and had a white [TS]

00:10:10   apron on and it was like hello you know [TS]

00:10:12   man welcome to Kim's may I help you [TS]

00:10:15   oh and the kid can cut you off [TS]

00:10:19   maybe liquid called PP a tear may be [TS]

00:10:21   some kind of like a like a like a pate [TS]

00:10:23   local artisan pate [TS]

00:10:24   yeah we were you know he would that I [TS]

00:10:26   walk in he had me a little paper cup [TS]

00:10:27   with a toothpick sticking in some kind [TS]

00:10:30   of some kind of little like chopped fish [TS]

00:10:33   or whatever and say like don't you like [TS]

00:10:35   to try our our kimchi of the day and [TS]

00:10:37   then be like okay ray [TS]

00:10:39   but in fact no it's just it's a bunch of [TS]

00:10:41   dogs parked out front and everybody's [TS]

00:10:43   like coming and going well just buy a [TS]

00:10:46   jungle of foods [TS]

00:10:48   well the reason I the reason I bring it [TS]

00:10:51   up is izzy as you said it used to be [TS]

00:10:53   that there are correlations we could [TS]

00:10:55   draw in this country they were Venn [TS]

00:10:56   diagrams we could draw in our sleep [TS]

00:10:57   right it there was a Venn diagram [TS]

00:10:59   between scrimshaw and tattoos was once I [TS]

00:11:02   think there's a lot of integrity to that [TS]

00:11:04   so so I mean the thing is displaying the [TS]

00:11:06   band right this is this is basic I think [TS]

00:11:08   this is a howard freeman Milton Milton [TS]

00:11:10   Milton burro whoever the economist is [TS]

00:11:12   even be a great economist Milton Berle [TS]

00:11:15   your compass you take out just enough to [TS]

00:11:16   beat you and so and so it was your [TS]

00:11:19   student dublin 13 felon who was specific [TS]

00:11:22   islander to your knowledge before [TS]

00:11:24   Thorstein Veblen that sounds like I like [TS]

00:11:26   in Norwegian one of those little skinny [TS]

00:11:27   countries [TS]

00:11:28   well you know i think i have all the [TS]

00:11:31   Norwegian countries [TS]

00:11:32   oh pretty well mapped out and Thorstein [TS]

00:11:35   Veblen isn't one of them [TS]

00:11:36   ok so nicely with the Norwegian [TS]

00:11:38   countries right Icelanders in Norwegian [TS]

00:11:40   country yeah I don't know erica was a [TS]

00:11:42   Eric Eric green that did that he missed [TS]

00:11:44   name on purpose [TS]

00:11:45   it turns out that Iceland is the moment [TS]

00:11:46   that has things in it [TS]

00:11:48   Finland is actually the one that's a sum [TS]

00:11:50   up I'm not a lot of people know that [TS]

00:11:52   and this is why that is alive to this [TS]

00:11:56   day throughout all of the Swedish [TS]

00:11:58   countries this is my only regional [TS]

00:12:00   countries only Vikings today put their [TS]

00:12:02   lottery tickets into their coffee and [TS]

00:12:04   maybe that's the question that I'm [TS]

00:12:05   asking you go in there let me guess [TS]

00:12:06   coming I got a couple things I just [TS]

00:12:08   really quickly blow through this thing's [TS]

00:12:09   look through it [TS]

00:12:10   ok thank you find it don't find in the [TS]

00:12:11   store lottery tickets yeah you find [TS]

00:12:13   those there okay [TS]

00:12:14   Funyuns absolutely you're going to find [TS]

00:12:17   funding [TS]

00:12:18   ok I think we take this red fang go [TS]

00:12:19   diego or always say I'm gonna say you [TS]

00:12:24   you know because figure is a regional [TS]

00:12:26   drink in America is figure the juggler [TS]

00:12:28   drink figures the juggler drinking it's [TS]

00:12:30   really a drink that's located more or [TS]

00:12:32   less in the south [TS]

00:12:33   although you can get in seattle at ease [TS]

00:12:35   l's famous chicken but he imports it [TS]

00:12:38   special so i will like like a Hispanic [TS]

00:12:41   American coke [TS]

00:12:42   exactly ok so i'm guessing that you [TS]

00:12:45   cannot get figure at this store if you [TS]

00:12:47   if you research for but what you can get [TS]

00:12:49   is drank you can get orange drank or [TS]

00:12:52   grape drank and that's cough syrup know [TS]

00:12:55   it's a it's the it's like sugar pop but [TS]

00:12:57   it's already like regular pop like [TS]

00:13:00   professor fake and or something [TS]

00:13:02   professor Falken you there and get some [TS]

00:13:04   innocent jonah falcon would you like to [TS]

00:13:07   play okay would you like to drink a [TS]

00:13:10   grape soda I've always been intrigued by [TS]

00:13:13   the different type of times of generic [TS]

00:13:14   store brands of you know professor PA [TS]

00:13:17   and stuff like that but this is the [TS]

00:13:18   stuff that this is the the soda pop that [TS]

00:13:21   you get when year when your business [TS]

00:13:23   does not shop at costco wholesale [TS]

00:13:26   there's been cutbacks and we can't [TS]

00:13:28   cancel the party so we should get [TS]

00:13:29   something [TS]

00:13:30   yeah right okay all right so there are [TS]

00:13:32   flavored things there's probably a huge [TS]

00:13:34   amount of xanthan gum and high-fructose [TS]

00:13:35   corn syrup you say the ice cream is most [TS]

00:13:37   limited to ice cream sandwich type [TS]

00:13:40   things [TS]

00:13:40   there's there's like a freezer case that [TS]

00:13:42   has that has again like weird off-brand [TS]

00:13:45   ice creams where there's there's like a [TS]

00:13:47   ravenous a rabbit that kind of looks [TS]

00:13:49   like the Trix rabbit except except his [TS]

00:13:51   nose is kind of longer he looks like a [TS]

00:13:53   beautiful it looks like the camel looks [TS]

00:13:55   like Joe Camel had sex with the Trix [TS]

00:13:58   rabbit and like that's not that doesn't [TS]

00:14:02   look appetizing I don't want to eat that [TS]

00:14:03   ice cream sandwich later added Stella's [TS]

00:14:05   are for kids [TS]

00:14:06   silly rabbit your nose looks like a [TS]

00:14:08   penis about what about the propane there [TS]

00:14:10   where a math cooking stuff or says [TS]

00:14:13   something store is absolutely useless [TS]

00:14:14   grandma go it's all grab-and-go you're [TS]

00:14:16   gonna get in there it's six guys on a [TS]

00:14:17   truck covered covered with with like [TS]

00:14:20   drywall dust and carhartts they jump in [TS]

00:14:22   there [TS]

00:14:23   grab-and-go you get a faygo a lottery [TS]

00:14:24   ticket ice cream sandwich get the fuck [TS]

00:14:25   out of there is that right yeah pack of [TS]

00:14:27   cigarettes and and and like a brown bag [TS]

00:14:30   with some kind of some kind of booze and [TS]

00:14:33   it who and I mean they're making a [TS]

00:14:35   living but I think they're dragging down [TS]

00:14:37   the whole neighborhood and you know [TS]

00:14:37   what's interesting you might not have [TS]

00:14:39   noticed this but there's a there's a [TS]

00:14:41   like an acre and a vacant acre of land [TS]

00:14:45   not far from my house that they are [TS]

00:14:46   converting into a what we call here in [TS]

00:14:48   Seattle AP patch like a community garden [TS]

00:14:52   community garden oh that's lovely [TS]

00:14:54   it's going to be nice so they're so [TS]

00:14:56   that's that's you know a few blocks from [TS]

00:14:58   me and that's going to be and I've just [TS]

00:15:00   I've just given away my location [TS]

00:15:01   basically there's a lot of the community [TS]

00:15:03   gardens a lot of people in [TS]

00:15:04   african-american neighborhoods in [TS]

00:15:06   Seattle [TS]

00:15:07   there's gonna be a whole whole bowl [TS]

00:15:09   community it's going to bring the [TS]

00:15:11   community together in a way that that [TS]

00:15:13   this bodega has been tearing us apart [TS]

00:15:16   right of ownership [TS]

00:15:17   that's right and people are going to [TS]

00:15:18   have fresh vegetables and it's only a [TS]

00:15:21   matter of time before somebody opens a [TS]

00:15:23   little store with an olive bar and like [TS]

00:15:26   six different kinds of of coffee creamer [TS]

00:15:29   all organic here from here from a modest [TS]

00:15:33   background right i mean you're not [TS]

00:15:35   you're not from a rich family right knee [TS]

00:15:37   pads [TS]

00:15:38   well in a rich rich rich certainly in in [TS]

00:15:41   a certain kind of discipline and dignity [TS]

00:15:43   culturally rich ah God you know what but [TS]

00:15:48   I'm always concerned that something is a [TS]

00:15:49   trick and I have to tell you i think [TS]

00:15:51   iĆ­ve said this in many places before I [TS]

00:15:52   really believe this i think that when [TS]

00:15:54   you're not from a place where you know a [TS]

00:15:56   lot about what's fancy in the right way [TS]

00:15:58   I think i'm constantly parsing things [TS]

00:16:01   for tricks and so not the cereal with [TS]

00:16:04   the rabbit but for example like all the [TS]

00:16:05   bars i think it's a fucking trick has [TS]

00:16:07   only a trick I walked past those and I'm [TS]

00:16:09   like you've given this much real estate [TS]

00:16:11   in your store 22 like things that look [TS]

00:16:15   and smell and taste like rotting toes it [TS]

00:16:18   is it's basically a tow bar and i'll bet [TS]

00:16:20   you take anybody you take anybody in [TS]

00:16:22   there you pull them out of their [TS]

00:16:23   previous to give an artist and a [TS]

00:16:24   blindfold you sitting down and getting [TS]

00:16:25   six fuckin olives and they will not be [TS]

00:16:27   able to tell you [TS]

00:16:27   oh it's salty and taste like olives yeah [TS]

00:16:30   you give them six fucking olives and [TS]

00:16:31   then a plate of like of chopped-up [TS]

00:16:34   chopped-up human toes so in formaldehyde [TS]

00:16:38   for a year [TS]

00:16:39   look locally sourced and then we'll go [TS]

00:16:41   down and I'll be like delicious all [TS]

00:16:43   about religious this one's got a little [TS]

00:16:45   like a little setup pinky had pinky and [TS]

00:16:49   pimento it's like yeah you know what [TS]

00:16:53   those but this is the thing John this is [TS]

00:16:55   the thing about the scrimshaw on the [TS]

00:16:56   railroads and the steamers is that is it [TS]

00:16:58   it is that is it says something about [TS]

00:17:01   the community it says something you know [TS]

00:17:03   we learn about the language we learn [TS]

00:17:04   about the way people dress we learned so [TS]

00:17:06   much by these regional things that take [TS]

00:17:08   a long time to go away even if they're [TS]

00:17:09   not you know not there anymore even [TS]

00:17:11   though we're not building ships in this [TS]

00:17:12   place anymore there's still a [TS]

00:17:13   shipbuilding culture they're trying to [TS]

00:17:15   push it out as many jets at Boeing as [TS]

00:17:17   they used to [TS]

00:17:18   I don't know but I'm guessing [TS]

00:17:19   you know well you know they've [TS]

00:17:21   outsourced it so that what happens now [TS]

00:17:23   is that the the tail assembly is [TS]

00:17:25   manufactured in Japan and the wings are [TS]

00:17:27   made in Italy when they bring them all [TS]

00:17:29   here to Seattle or to Nebraska or [TS]

00:17:32   somewhere and they try to bolt them all [TS]

00:17:33   together this happened a couple of years [TS]

00:17:35   ago but they they sent the plans to [TS]

00:17:38   Italy and nobody converted the [TS]

00:17:40   measurements from metric to all come on [TS]

00:17:43   that sounds like an urban myth [TS]

00:17:44   it's absolutely true and make spent you [TS]

00:17:47   know they tooled up and they spend [TS]

00:17:48   hundreds of millions of dollars building [TS]

00:17:50   these parts in the together the wheel [TS]

00:17:52   the wheel enough it and what's the [TS]

00:17:55   matter for you no matter so they're like [TS]

00:17:58   oh outsourcing I and I've heard stories [TS]

00:18:03   like that before I think that happened [TS]

00:18:05   that happened on the space shuttle [TS]

00:18:06   wasn't a space shuttle he space shuttle [TS]

00:18:08   gap that involve metric conversion [TS]

00:18:10   happens all the time and I and I can you [TS]

00:18:12   know and depending on where you're [TS]

00:18:14   standing like if we if we were doing [TS]

00:18:15   this podcast in Milan right now we'd be [TS]

00:18:18   saying to the effect of we be saying [TS]

00:18:21   something like a wide what why America [TS]

00:18:24   have a all this measurement that no one [TS]

00:18:26   else to use you gotta be different there [TS]

00:18:28   yeah I good metric is used by everybody [TS]

00:18:31   right so why the hell it what's our [TS]

00:18:34   problem but then the flip side is from [TS]

00:18:36   our perspective [TS]

00:18:38   no one in America has ever heard of [TS]

00:18:40   another country yeah and and most people [TS]

00:18:42   here don't believe other countries exist [TS]

00:18:44   I mean I'm you could be mass hysteria [TS]

00:18:46   but I mean there's at least two levels [TS]

00:18:47   to this [TS]

00:18:48   yes absolutely on the first level it's [TS]

00:18:50   probably a little bit crazy the inside [TS]

00:18:52   of a certain profession you don't have a [TS]

00:18:53   standard I i think it's sensible [TS]

00:18:55   probably if you're working on japanese [TS]

00:18:57   cars to talking in metrics right and [TS]

00:18:59   then there's a there's got to be a [TS]

00:19:00   google thing that just translates your [TS]

00:19:03   your wing diameter measurements [TS]

00:19:06   immediately into whatever form you [TS]

00:19:08   wanted you know I got an application [TS]

00:19:09   always an application here i'm going to [TS]

00:19:11   show you can be turns anything into [TS]

00:19:12   anything that's my blind but here's my [TS]

00:19:14   question to you that this is the deeper [TS]

00:19:15   problems a deeper problem let me put it [TS]

00:19:16   this way [TS]

00:19:17   okay my kids school my wife texts me and [TS]

00:19:21   says hey can assign you up to change the [TS]

00:19:24   strings on the guitar and I said [TS]

00:19:27   absolutely [TS]

00:19:28   ok what is your is your wife now playing [TS]

00:19:31   the guitar [TS]

00:19:32   she doesn't tapping but ok so now i have [TS]

00:19:35   let me like this by using your response [TS]

00:19:37   was co-opted fingerboard for you guys I [TS]

00:19:39   did that with a rasp I told you about [TS]

00:19:41   that i invade my guitar [TS]

00:19:42   anyway go ahead m60 just so she texts [TS]

00:19:46   you okay here's the thing he says UK [TS]

00:19:47   john-john uh can you can you at least [TS]

00:19:52   keys change the strings on this guitar [TS]

00:19:54   and you know if it's somebody you like [TS]

00:19:56   you probably say yes right dude also you [TS]

00:19:59   got my some strange right [TS]

00:20:00   yeah but stringz a electric or acoustic [TS]

00:20:04   exactly is a trick question [TS]

00:20:07   now it's it's a non trick question I [TS]

00:20:09   said okay send me a photograph of the [TS]

00:20:11   guitar [TS]

00:20:11   I didn't ask her feelings classical or [TS]

00:20:13   steel string I said send me a photograph [TS]

00:20:15   the guitar and especially can get a [TS]

00:20:16   picture of the bridge and headstock [TS]

00:20:17   that'd be great but I could i bought a [TS]

00:20:19   second and see that it's an old crappy [TS]

00:20:21   classical guitar but you see what I'm [TS]

00:20:23   saying here like I mean some gut strings [TS]

00:20:25   well yeah the problem the problem is [TS]

00:20:26   that it yeah it's silly that they didn't [TS]

00:20:28   get the conversion right but it's even [TS]

00:20:30   sillier that they assume they didn't [TS]

00:20:31   need to check the spec better [TS]

00:20:33   it's like somebody saying paint my house [TS]

00:20:34   and I assume all I've got this green so [TS]

00:20:36   i'll just use green this is the problem [TS]

00:20:38   nobody using slide rules anymore John [TS]

00:20:39   well you know what the problem is is [TS]

00:20:41   that i guarantee you in the corporate [TS]

00:20:42   culture of Boeing as is as is true of [TS]

00:20:45   the corporate culture of everywhere in [TS]

00:20:46   the world now there are 42 different [TS]

00:20:48   levels of management [TS]

00:20:49   uh-huh and then you've got like three [TS]

00:20:52   guys that know how to use the equipment [TS]

00:20:54   and so that i'm sure those specs went [TS]

00:20:58   across like 40 people's desks until it [TS]

00:21:01   got to the the guy who was supposed to [TS]

00:21:04   build the tool and the guy that's [TS]

00:21:06   supposed to build the tool kind of [TS]

00:21:07   assumes that somewhere along the line [TS]

00:21:10   somebody would have if there was a [TS]

00:21:12   problem somebody would have picked up [TS]

00:21:14   picked up on it [TS]

00:21:15   I i think it's totally true but here's [TS]

00:21:17   the other thing if there were [TS]

00:21:18   let's just say for you know I don't mean [TS]

00:21:20   this in a ping-pong way if they were [TS]

00:21:21   nerds along the way you know they were [TS]

00:21:23   nerds wrong the way he said hey look I [TS]

00:21:25   mean you're doing this you're doing [TS]

00:21:26   something Microsoft Excel I can you how [TS]

00:21:29   can you miss that these over here are [TS]

00:21:32   this says 1.0 1.1 this one says 1.0 and [TS]

00:21:36   this one says two-and-a-half right we'll [TS]

00:21:40   return with centimeters or inches like [TS]

00:21:41   what is how would you how would you know [TS]

00:21:43   that [TS]

00:21:44   that they said you know what we should [TS]

00:21:45   probably make it really clear to people [TS]

00:21:47   that this is in centimeters and not [TS]

00:21:49   interesting better put probably inches [TS]

00:21:51   and centimeters and you know what about [TS]

00:21:53   their boss said don't be a dick [TS]

00:21:54   yeah you know what helps me navigate all [TS]

00:21:57   this stuff is is the is the cartoon [TS]

00:22:00   dilbert I really is that the guy i [TS]

00:22:03   really get so much wisdom said about the [TS]

00:22:05   guy who has periodic cultural bumps in [TS]

00:22:08   the workplace and yeah I think that's a [TS]

00:22:10   good description yeah yeah he he's [TS]

00:22:12   trying to navigate his workplace because [TS]

00:22:15   it's called it's called Gilbert is that [TS]

00:22:16   correct [TS]

00:22:16   Gilbert yeah this isn't this isn't the [TS]

00:22:18   guy who sleeps in like lasagna [TS]

00:22:20   no no that's a different guy no this is [TS]

00:22:23   that this guy's he has it he has a job [TS]

00:22:25   and he goes there and oh my god his [TS]

00:22:28   sauce food what a nut [TS]

00:22:31   anyway I was I went to a grocery store [TS]

00:22:32   the other day in a different [TS]

00:22:34   neighborhood and I this was in this is [TS]

00:22:39   in the north part of seattle which as [TS]

00:22:40   you know my theory of American cities is [TS]

00:22:43   that the north side of the city is [TS]

00:22:45   always nice and the south side of the [TS]

00:22:46   city is always bad okay 99 times out of [TS]

00:22:50   23 no question [TS]

00:22:51   yeah and anybody you say the south side [TS]

00:22:53   of this town you might as well sell say [TS]

00:22:54   MLK drive [TS]

00:22:56   exactly anybody that's gonna send not to [TS]

00:22:58   say that and no no that's not all he was [TS]

00:23:01   he was a great president no question was [TS]

00:23:02   he was wonderful man but uh but it and [TS]

00:23:05   even people who come to me and say like [TS]

00:23:07   well what about East st. Louis and [TS]

00:23:08   western Louis I say what about south [TS]

00:23:10   east st. louis and then they have to go [TS]

00:23:13   oh ok you can triangulate that right so [TS]

00:23:16   anyway I go to a grocery store on the [TS]

00:23:18   north side of town which is sort of a [TS]

00:23:19   rare occurrence for me and I walk in and [TS]

00:23:24   there's like Muzak playing and a guy [TS]

00:23:30   walks by me in an apron and he says good [TS]

00:23:33   morning and then somebody else walks [TS]

00:23:36   past and it looks like and this grocery [TS]

00:23:38   store looks like it looks like the [TS]

00:23:41   grocery store there were john denver [TS]

00:23:42   worked in oh god oh yeah yeah you know [TS]

00:23:46   answer they knew how to run a goddamn [TS]

00:23:47   brushes you know what I'm walking around [TS]

00:23:49   and I go over to the deli counter and [TS]

00:23:50   they're like oh would you like a stuffed [TS]

00:23:52   pepper [TS]

00:23:53   like a stuffed pepper how long has that [TS]

00:23:55   been sitting there like you mean we just [TS]

00:23:57   made him 20 minutes ago and I start to [TS]

00:24:00   quiz the person like what about the ones [TS]

00:24:02   you don't sell their like all we usually [TS]

00:24:03   sell them all [TS]

00:24:04   I'm like what about the ones you don't [TS]

00:24:07   they're like oh we throw away like this [TS]

00:24:09   is amazing this place this group this is [TS]

00:24:12   a grocery these people are grocers and [TS]

00:24:16   then I simply they're not simply [TS]

00:24:17   preparing food it's not like in Florida [TS]

00:24:19   where you could go by pretty good [TS]

00:24:20   macaroni and cheese stuffed pepper is a [TS]

00:24:22   pretty rarefied vertical market [TS]

00:24:24   yeah i'm looking behind the counter and [TS]

00:24:26   there are they're probably there are [TS]

00:24:28   more people working behind the deli [TS]

00:24:30   counter then there are customers in the [TS]

00:24:32   store I was like it's amazing and this [TS]

00:24:36   is why people buy their houses [TS]

00:24:38   this is why people buy their houses in [TS]

00:24:40   nice neighborhoods because they get nice [TS]

00:24:44   grocery stores and the the cops don't [TS]

00:24:46   fly helicopters over their houses in the [TS]

00:24:48   middle of the night and the reason [TS]

00:24:49   people buy houses in poor neighborhoods [TS]

00:24:51   they can't afford houses in rich [TS]

00:24:52   neighborhoods they don't have enough [TS]

00:24:54   money because they don't have enough [TS]

00:24:55   money i was having I was having a real [TS]

00:24:58   eye-opening experience that the one with [TS]

00:25:01   north side of town that have the more [TS]

00:25:02   expensive homes in the better jobs make [TS]

00:25:05   more money than the people that have a [TS]

00:25:07   not as nice houses that's right and they [TS]

00:25:09   have a nicer things there when they go [TS]

00:25:11   through the storms they did just as just [TS]

00:25:13   curious as a side note later they're [TS]

00:25:14   stuffed peppers everybody get your [TS]

00:25:16   knowledge there are no stuffed peppers [TS]

00:25:17   at all and not even at my local like big [TS]

00:25:20   grocery store are their stuffed peppers [TS]

00:25:22   so so I was I was really I was not his [TS]

00:25:26   left eye opener John and then i realized [TS]

00:25:28   that i lived in my neighborhood because [TS]

00:25:30   I didn't have a lot of money and I was [TS]

00:25:34   like you got a lot you've got a lot of [TS]

00:25:35   house for the day though that's a pretty [TS]

00:25:37   nice place [TS]

00:25:38   that's what they say that's what they [TS]

00:25:39   say well ok can I suggest there might be [TS]

00:25:41   one thread here [TS]

00:25:42   ah money money yeah because here's what [TS]

00:25:46   I think here's what I think your your [TS]

00:25:48   your local and the upscale on northern [TS]

00:25:51   place have in common and it is to turn [TS]

00:25:54   then I'm going throughout called profit [TS]

00:25:55   per square foot now it's my [TS]

00:25:57   understanding that in the grocery racket [TS]

00:25:59   the margins are thin at best [TS]

00:26:01   right so so if you're going to sell [TS]

00:26:03   flower right i mean you know if you go [TS]

00:26:05   anywhere [TS]

00:26:06   let's think about it [TS]

00:26:07   urban like I want to like not a resort [TS]

00:26:09   town but you go somewhere where there's [TS]

00:26:10   very limited you know small footprint [TS]

00:26:14   for the place where you buy stuff right [TS]

00:26:16   you go in there they're gonna have some [TS]

00:26:17   forty dollar crappy sunglasses got some [TS]

00:26:19   $90 suntan lotion those $85 Marlboros or [TS]

00:26:23   whatever you guys all stuff the tourists [TS]

00:26:25   would want to buy the cost a lot but [TS]

00:26:27   they don't have flour on sale because [TS]

00:26:29   there's not i know this sounds obvious [TS]

00:26:30   but again the important thing is money [TS]

00:26:33   on flowers always a loss leader you get [TS]

00:26:35   them people that's how you get him in [TS]

00:26:36   for the flour and then maybe they stay [TS]

00:26:38   for the stuff that's right give a little [TS]

00:26:39   bit of sexy show a little bit of leg you [TS]

00:26:41   say we got it we got in here but it was [TS]

00:26:43   so anyway I I this is a i mean i think [TS]

00:26:45   the point of money is is not is not [TS]

00:26:47   obvious but i think that the deeper [TS]

00:26:48   point is that this is why it's all about [TS]

00:26:51   lottery tickets and fucking gift cards [TS]

00:26:52   yeah for Franco for that matter is if [TS]

00:26:54   they you know the the baffling part to [TS]

00:26:57   me is in some ways in this is sad John [TS]

00:26:59   there's a cultural critic i hope you [TS]

00:27:00   remark on this but it's not to me so [TS]

00:27:02   amazing that they don't have two liters [TS]

00:27:06   of faygo at a reasonable retail price of [TS]

00:27:09   that place where even that they don't [TS]

00:27:10   cover be have cheese in there applause [TS]

00:27:12   my name is that can remain profitable [TS]

00:27:13   for that place on the north side to have [TS]

00:27:16   an olive bar i'm trying to do a quick [TS]

00:27:20   mental calculation to have something [TS]

00:27:21   like 80 square feet of olive bar [TS]

00:27:25   yeah she was that about right sweats a [TS]

00:27:29   lot of square footage for olives [TS]

00:27:31   yeah it is and that it is amazing that [TS]

00:27:33   it can remain profitable but but I mean [TS]

00:27:35   do I look at that stuff and I think it's [TS]

00:27:37   it it's a thing when i go into a grocery [TS]

00:27:39   store and I pick a thing of faygo up off [TS]

00:27:42   the arms off the counter and look at it [TS]

00:27:44   says 99 cents for two liters of faygo [TS]

00:27:46   right i am for whatever reason much more [TS]

00:27:50   conscious of how much money I'm spending [TS]

00:27:53   and what I'm getting for that money then [TS]

00:27:56   when I look at an olive bar where they [TS]

00:27:57   say you know a cup with seven olives in [TS]

00:28:00   it is only 14 99 but these all that [TS]

00:28:03   they've got a hot food buffet that's [TS]

00:28:05   like seventeen dollars a pound and but [TS]

00:28:07   you don't think about you know your load [TS]

00:28:10   into a state of sort of that uh of [TS]

00:28:12   feeling like you this is the these are [TS]

00:28:14   luxury items and it's worth it because [TS]

00:28:17   this is especially it's my apps [TS]

00:28:20   act because its bulk for one right you [TS]

00:28:23   don't know you're gonna have to wait [TS]

00:28:24   your own olives to find out how much [TS]

00:28:26   money you're gonna oh my god check this [TS]

00:28:28   out you're walking you're walking to the [TS]

00:28:29   oh gosh oh god that's so embarrassing i [TS]

00:28:32   always i own this is so undignified i [TS]

00:28:35   went to a supermarket the other day and [TS]

00:28:37   a different that this is not a nice [TS]

00:28:39   supermarket of a regular shitty one and [TS]

00:28:42   they're a bunch of people in line [TS]

00:28:43   waiting to get through the supermarket [TS]

00:28:44   and then there's this new check yourself [TS]

00:28:47   out never go through then check this out [TS]

00:28:50   i'm looking at it and I never do either [TS]

00:28:51   because I feel like that whatever [TS]

00:28:53   whatever amount of money that i'm paying [TS]

00:28:55   to buy things at this store [TS]

00:28:57   I want the human interaction i am paying [TS]

00:29:00   for it anyway I want the person to touch [TS]

00:29:03   my cans perfect and i want to bring it [TS]

00:29:06   up and I want them to tell me to have a [TS]

00:29:07   nice day and I want them to hold up the [TS]

00:29:09   the receipt at the end and say oh mr. [TS]

00:29:11   Roderick you saved for you like this [TS]

00:29:13   exchanges I do it's a present it and the [TS]

00:29:15   thing is it's factored into the price of [TS]

00:29:17   my goods [TS]

00:29:18   they're not giving me a discount to go [TS]

00:29:20   over and check myself out [TS]

00:29:21   you're screwing yourself out of money [TS]

00:29:22   and time that's exactly right i have [TS]

00:29:24   already paid for this person to talk to [TS]

00:29:27   me and touch my cans [TS]

00:29:28   mhm i do not i'm not going to go over [TS]

00:29:31   and do it myself and talk to a robot [TS]

00:29:32   unless I get ten percent all those [TS]

00:29:35   robots are taciturn anyway so they are [TS]

00:29:37   and I so I go over and it's one of these [TS]

00:29:39   things where there's others like there's [TS]

00:29:41   seven carts [TS]

00:29:43   it's like somebody is it's like [TS]

00:29:45   somebody's outfitting a ship that's [TS]

00:29:47   going to see for a year and and and so i [TS]

00:29:51   can't i can't wait in line I only got [TS]

00:29:53   I've only got a handful of items i can't [TS]

00:29:54   wait in line over there to talk to a [TS]

00:29:56   human being so I go over to the [TS]

00:29:57   electronic check out and I'm trying to [TS]

00:29:59   navigate this thing and it's telling me [TS]

00:30:01   to put my items in the in the bagging [TS]

00:30:03   area and it's telling me to do all this [TS]

00:30:05   stuff that I don't want to do I don't [TS]

00:30:07   put my items in the bagging area he [TS]

00:30:08   tells you that you place something in [TS]

00:30:10   the wrong area in the wrong area that's [TS]

00:30:12   right fuck does that mean it's saying it [TS]

00:30:14   i placed in the wrong and I'm like I you [TS]

00:30:16   know you're the customer John I'm going [TS]

00:30:18   up the thing I'm like it's what I want [TS]

00:30:19   it it's in the area that I want it now I [TS]

00:30:22   don't put in your area and this thing is [TS]

00:30:25   this thing is resolute it doesn't it [TS]

00:30:28   doesn't listen to reason and so I I [TS]

00:30:30   leaned over and there's that there's a [TS]

00:30:32   employee a safe way and this is [TS]

00:30:33   safeway store it safely employee there [TS]

00:30:36   and I and I kind of leaned over and I [TS]

00:30:37   said can you help me with this because [TS]

00:30:38   the machine is telling me to and this [TS]

00:30:41   employee the safeway employees having an [TS]

00:30:43   argument with another employee of safety [TS]

00:30:45   and they do not want to be interrupted [TS]

00:30:49   by me and I'm like excuse me and they're [TS]

00:30:53   like what i said that i was going to be [TS]

00:30:55   there you know I said I said I got a 15 [TS]

00:30:57   minute break and you said that above and [TS]

00:30:59   they're having this this like Safeway [TS]

00:31:00   employee argument right in front of you [TS]

00:31:02   right in front of me and and like [TS]

00:31:03   basically kind of like giving me the [TS]

00:31:05   hand and I'm about to say where's your [TS]

00:31:11   manager and I look and one of them's the [TS]

00:31:14   manager of God and so I i I'm standing [TS]

00:31:19   in between this robot that's that's [TS]

00:31:21   that's giving me orders and a manager of [TS]

00:31:24   a grocery store that is having not only [TS]

00:31:27   having a public argument with one of her [TS]

00:31:29   employees but it is but it is giving me [TS]

00:31:32   the hand and so you know what I did who [TS]

00:31:35   I stole a potato has your job gotten [TS]

00:31:42   hotter than fresh pumpkin chili tired of [TS]

00:31:44   kissing the wrong bird mired down by [TS]

00:31:46   your managers fear of even the slightest [TS]

00:31:48   prison in corporate discourse [TS]

00:31:50   well you're not alone igloo software [TS]

00:31:52   understand your pain igloo helps you [TS]

00:31:54   work better with other people by keeping [TS]

00:31:56   your team your files and your [TS]

00:31:58   conversations together in one digital [TS]

00:32:00   workplace [TS]

00:32:01   you can even work from home and you're [TS]

00:32:02   altogether sealed to your red leather [TS]

00:32:04   chair just steps away from all your [TS]

00:32:05   favorite globes candlesticks and cowboy [TS]

00:32:07   boots as you do so go to glue [TS]

00:32:10   software.com / find your duck and sign [TS]

00:32:12   up for your free 30-day trial bring your [TS]

00:32:15   team in from the cold by getting inside [TS]

00:32:17   the igloo in any case they had so much [TS]

00:32:21   more than that coming i think you let [TS]

00:32:23   them off easy it you you know you could [TS]

00:32:26   have demanded a lot of satisfaction and [TS]

00:32:28   given a very extensive and penetrating [TS]

00:32:31   course in managerial procedure to that [TS]

00:32:33   lady could have done but instead i just [TS]

00:32:36   put some produce in my bag that i did [TS]

00:32:38   not weigh and did not did not pay for [TS]

00:32:42   and I felt [TS]

00:32:44   felt ashamed of myself at the same time [TS]

00:32:46   at the same time I felt like this is the [TS]

00:32:49   cost [TS]

00:32:50   this is the cost that you grocery store [TS]

00:32:52   are going to incur for putting me [TS]

00:32:54   through this [TS]

00:32:54   this is my ten percent off you want to [TS]

00:32:56   comment card here's the comment cards [TS]

00:32:58   start counting up your fucking potatoes [TS]

00:33:00   this is and in fact it was not a [TS]

00:33:01   potatoes and onion now that i recall i [TS]

00:33:03   call it was an onion not a potato but I [TS]

00:33:06   said this onion is your time to know the [TS]

00:33:09   kind onion it was well you know I have [TS]

00:33:13   this problem all the time and that's why [TS]

00:33:15   self-checkout is a clusterfuck and you [TS]

00:33:17   really you want me to look it's a [TS]

00:33:18   Bermuda onion is a white onion is a [TS]

00:33:20   yellow onion scallion now you need to [TS]

00:33:22   tell me the Merlin because you use [TS]

00:33:24   person that knows this type of thing but [TS]

00:33:26   I go and look at the onions and I'm [TS]

00:33:27   gonna make you don't care what kind it [TS]

00:33:29   is I just don't want to have to talk to [TS]

00:33:30   a robot about what I put onion i put in [TS]

00:33:33   the wrong place the wrong kind and [TS]

00:33:34   Michael's run my card again this is [TS]

00:33:36   before this this is what I have this [TS]

00:33:37   problem before this I look at those 14 [TS]

00:33:39   kinds of onions even a even a shitty [TS]

00:33:41   safeway don't know the fucking [TS]

00:33:43   difference between an onion [TS]

00:33:44   this is another yellow onion this is a [TS]

00:33:46   white onion am i picking it I really [TS]

00:33:48   picking it because of color [TS]

00:33:49   yeah i'm gonna throw it into a soup who [TS]

00:33:51   tell me Merlin what is I just want you [TS]

00:33:54   know what I want I want the right onion [TS]

00:33:56   and I don't know how to tell the right [TS]

00:33:59   onion iib I would be happy to give you [TS]

00:34:01   some of my own practical heuristics on [TS]

00:34:04   this it will be useful to you it would i [TS]

00:34:06   would like a know how to choose the [TS]

00:34:08   right because I look at these onions and [TS]

00:34:09   I end up just picking one that looks [TS]

00:34:11   friendly [TS]

00:34:11   mhm i can look through the onions and [TS]

00:34:13   i'm like i like i like this guy he's [TS]

00:34:15   like him he's got a nice shape piece of [TS]

00:34:18   who doesn't have any dancer brown spots [TS]

00:34:21   yeah he's kind he's got a little bit of [TS]

00:34:22   he's got a little little kind of papery [TS]

00:34:24   outside but it kinda looks fresh as [TS]

00:34:27   fresh as an onion I'll just I'll tell [TS]

00:34:29   you the best that I now I mean I [TS]

00:34:30   essentially setting sighs a site aside [TS]

00:34:34   for a minute [TS]

00:34:35   I mean obviously you can have your [TS]

00:34:36   scallions or green onions if you want [TS]

00:34:38   some little onions but by and large [TS]

00:34:39   round dome you i think i think based yes [TS]

00:34:42   / amongst the round onion I think [TS]

00:34:44   there's basic it's not super complicated [TS]

00:34:47   yes purple is why they're yellow there's [TS]

00:34:48   like how much you want it to taste like [TS]

00:34:50   an onion [TS]

00:34:51   is the question and there is a continuum [TS]

00:34:53   and it's not super complicated at the [TS]

00:34:55   one you've got a white onion which is [TS]

00:34:56   useless just the way I'm doesn't taste [TS]

00:34:59   like anything why he doesn't really [TS]

00:35:00   taste like an onion [TS]

00:35:01   it's mhm its yeah it's sort of like it's [TS]

00:35:04   like an Ivy League onion you gotta [TS]

00:35:05   either got a purple onion which is a [TS]

00:35:07   kind of a sweeter taste you got the [TS]

00:35:09   classic yellow onion which is young you [TS]

00:35:10   should buy I think a good good good get [TS]

00:35:13   my yellow and unique I Bermuda onion [TS]

00:35:14   which is funny because they're so big [TS]

00:35:16   but again this is this is you know what [TS]

00:35:18   we could be fine with yellow onions [TS]

00:35:20   that's why you don't hear that i'm glad [TS]

00:35:22   that you say that because that that [TS]

00:35:24   dovetails with what with my [TS]

00:35:26   decision-making process which is that if [TS]

00:35:28   the thing has more color of a vegetable [TS]

00:35:30   has more color i assume that it has more [TS]

00:35:33   stuff in it you know like a yellow I by [TS]

00:35:38   yellow onions instead of white ones [TS]

00:35:39   because i assumed all yellow [TS]

00:35:41   I you know you found da you found a meta [TS]

00:35:43   pattern you ever have a white peach vs a [TS]

00:35:45   yellow peach fuck that white peach going [TS]

00:35:47   to teach people shit you don't want a [TS]

00:35:49   white PT exactly you my darkest color of [TS]

00:35:52   thing but you can get the richest the [TS]

00:35:54   richest non rotten color and that's how [TS]

00:35:57   you're going to find the right onion i [TS]

00:35:58   think it's i think it said I think it's [TS]

00:35:59   a terrific point but if you ever seen [TS]

00:36:00   like a new checker I called checkers [TS]

00:36:02   even knew checker we're going to flip [TS]

00:36:04   flip flip flo you have to find out the [TS]

00:36:06   price of the yeah it doesn't always have [TS]

00:36:07   like a little sticker on or anything the [TS]

00:36:09   end of this charging for artisanal kale [TS]

00:36:11   when you're really buying fucking celery [TS]

00:36:12   or something like that [TS]

00:36:13   well you know I'm the guy that stands [TS]

00:36:15   there after they checked me out and read [TS]

00:36:16   the receipt checks everything checks [TS]

00:36:19   everything I think safe we need your [TS]

00:36:21   friction they feel like such a dick when [TS]

00:36:22   I do it but and i'm always friendly but [TS]

00:36:24   honestly I'm and you want to talk about [TS]

00:36:25   supermarkets I would be I'm totally okay [TS]

00:36:27   talk about supermarket I got a lot on [TS]

00:36:29   supermarket I know you do I know you [TS]

00:36:31   feel strongly about this [TS]

00:36:32   well let me start with one thing just to [TS]

00:36:33   get this out of the way first of all [TS]

00:36:35   self checkout is for suckers [TS]

00:36:37   it's really stupid the piano I have [TS]

00:36:39   friends who insist I friend to insist [TS]

00:36:41   that it is faster and more efficient and [TS]

00:36:44   more pleasant and to them I say you are [TS]

00:36:46   full of shit you know who those people [TS]

00:36:48   are there the Union rat 0 and today [TS]

00:36:52   that's not that's different to get [TS]

00:36:54   uniforms they get uniforms these are the [TS]

00:36:56   people who are complicit in their own [TS]

00:36:59   haha [TS]

00:37:01   that own enslavement got it they're the [TS]

00:37:03   guys who run the block and they get a [TS]

00:37:04   better fresh they're the ones who are [TS]

00:37:06   like oh they made me this they made me [TS]

00:37:08   the sheriff of nottingham so now I'm so [TS]

00:37:10   I agree with their policies got it I got [TS]

00:37:12   it I got it [TS]

00:37:13   so yeah I i see those people all the [TS]

00:37:15   time were like oh no this is way better [TS]

00:37:17   i got this app on my iPhone that allows [TS]

00:37:19   me to to pay for gasoline without taking [TS]

00:37:22   a credit card out they are complicit [TS]

00:37:24   your implicit in their own tacit [TS]

00:37:26   cultural enslavement you didn't rat you [TS]

00:37:28   didn't rat through you should get a [TS]

00:37:30   yellow you rather away you know you can [TS]

00:37:32   read quite right away why you let me ask [TS]

00:37:35   you a question and this is this a [TS]

00:37:36   rhetorical question so you know you can [TS]

00:37:38   answer rhetorically if you want but have [TS]

00:37:39   you ever stood at self checkout let's be [TS]

00:37:42   honest self checkout line always longer [TS]

00:37:44   because everybody's waiting for the [TS]

00:37:45   convenience if you wait self-conscious [TS]

00:37:47   like a fucking stand back I hate this [TS]

00:37:49   but you stand there have been two ideas [TS]

00:37:52   the deal with shopping carts who is [TS]

00:37:55   coming up with this stuff but here's [TS]

00:37:57   what bugs me is I i see that line i've [TS]

00:37:59   tried to go through self checkout on [TS]

00:38:01   maybe three occasions ever and i had [TS]

00:38:02   precisely the same experience every time [TS]

00:38:04   first of all it's a very long line of [TS]

00:38:06   people who think of themselves as [TS]

00:38:07   Mavericks yeah that's right those are [TS]

00:38:09   the people the people would be a with [TS]

00:38:11   whether it's like yeah [TS]

00:38:13   bluetooth the telephone absolutely oh [TS]

00:38:15   it's like you know on the one hand [TS]

00:38:17   you've got like tall guys buying ice [TS]

00:38:20   cream with minivans I with ice cream [TS]

00:38:23   tall guys by a name brand fucking nun [TS]

00:38:25   sandwich style ice cream right and and [TS]

00:38:29   now you know and now they're not going [TS]

00:38:30   to be bothered with all that [TS]

00:38:31   flibbertigibbet of having to wait in [TS]

00:38:33   line like a sucker they're all know [TS]

00:38:34   they're gonna do this okay but then all [TS]

00:38:36   you know the things within there are [TS]

00:38:37   variety people and they're all stupid [TS]

00:38:38   and then you get up there [TS]

00:38:40   I have never seen I will say this I've [TS]

00:38:43   seen some people have transactions on [TS]

00:38:46   occasion that went without a hitch right [TS]

00:38:48   I'm going to say seventy nine times out [TS]

00:38:51   of 87 times there's some glitch the [TS]

00:38:53   robot yells at you it didn't like your [TS]

00:38:55   card LOL oh you wanna buy some vodka can [TS]

00:38:58   haha about three you know here's the [TS]

00:39:02   thing people who are good at the [TS]

00:39:04   self-checkout having gone through a [TS]

00:39:06   self-training where they've gone and [TS]

00:39:08   they they have spent the time and energy [TS]

00:39:10   to be trained by this machine how do [TS]

00:39:14   uses the machine will you know if you [TS]

00:39:16   use if you do it for John's the thin end [TS]

00:39:18   of the wedge yeah the Machine trains you [TS]

00:39:21   and then they're good at and they're [TS]

00:39:22   like look at me but I'm gonna look at [TS]

00:39:24   this I can scan really well but of all [TS]

00:39:26   the people of all the things that I want [TS]

00:39:28   to be trained in of all the like welding [TS]

00:39:32   classes I could be taking or like [TS]

00:39:34   artistic macrame I could be doing [TS]

00:39:36   whatever the last thing I want to spend [TS]

00:39:38   my mental and emotional energy on is [TS]

00:39:40   being trained by a supermarket computer [TS]

00:39:43   how to use it to buy onions to buy to [TS]

00:39:46   buy onions that I could be talking to [TS]

00:39:48   the checker download your mind when you [TS]

00:39:49   don't understand from robots to think [TS]

00:39:51   the better than you [TS]

00:39:52   that's right that is galling it's really [TS]

00:39:54   going and you know I like there are lots [TS]

00:39:56   of things I I I have allowed myself to [TS]

00:39:59   be trained to do like using a Macintosh [TS]

00:40:02   computer which everyone says oh this is [TS]

00:40:05   the that's so user-friendly well its [TS]

00:40:07   user-friendly if you sit in front of it [TS]

00:40:09   and let it train you to understand its [TS]

00:40:12   impenetrable internal logic right like [TS]

00:40:15   i've been using them long enough now [TS]

00:40:17   that I kind of understand how the how [TS]

00:40:19   the people how the dopes in California [TS]

00:40:22   who designed the way this machine thanks [TS]

00:40:24   how those dopes think like I i I've [TS]

00:40:26   worked through it you know and I i was [TS]

00:40:29   forced to let this machine trained me to [TS]

00:40:31   use it because there's no other way to [TS]

00:40:33   interact with human beings anymore if [TS]

00:40:36   you don't know how to use your stupid [TS]

00:40:37   macintosh computer [TS]

00:40:39   yeah I I have to agree with you and [TS]

00:40:41   talking to your mom about the old days [TS]

00:40:43   and as a strategy using the command line [TS]

00:40:44   application you know like like you know [TS]

00:40:46   you might be familiar with us right [TS]

00:40:48   like it or using an Apple inches i don't [TS]

00:40:50   know this before can even command lines [TS]

00:40:51   let alone gooeys this is back when you [TS]

00:40:53   know had get the four cards even I think [TS]

00:40:55   actually SAT there with a soldering iron [TS]

00:40:56   on a computer and then made the program [TS]

00:40:58   she really I mean she spoke machine [TS]

00:41:00   language and she spoke it like at the [TS]

00:41:03   dinner table but when i was an [TS]

00:41:07   eight-year-old there were times when I [TS]

00:41:08   would put my head out because you don't [TS]

00:41:10   go to go to room and my mom and I were [TS]

00:41:13   good friends my whole life and she would [TS]

00:41:15   come home from work and she be so [TS]

00:41:17   excited about having solved this this [TS]

00:41:20   problem in these mainframe computers [TS]

00:41:22   that were the size of oil tankers [TS]

00:41:24   and uh and she would start talking to me [TS]

00:41:27   about it you know i'm a tour not here so [TS]

00:41:28   old I would sometimes put my head down [TS]

00:41:30   on the paper because i was because my [TS]

00:41:32   brain was so full of numbers and lying [TS]

00:41:36   lines and and you know she's just so [TS]

00:41:38   excited about it she's really wants to [TS]

00:41:40   talk to me about it i was trying to be [TS]

00:41:41   cool and show off that every single [TS]

00:41:43   technology i came up with an old [TS]

00:41:44   technologies like oh no this is before [TS]

00:41:46   that [TS]

00:41:47   yeah well I'm checking her and I'm sure [TS]

00:41:49   she said this to you but her principal [TS]

00:41:52   the way she interacts with the modern [TS]

00:41:54   world is she said for the first 40 years [TS]

00:41:57   of computers we worked into the night to [TS]

00:42:02   make sure that no user ever experienced [TS]

00:42:06   an error and we tested and tested and [TS]

00:42:10   tested and tested until there were no [TS]

00:42:13   errors and she said as soon as Microsoft [TS]

00:42:17   took over the world and as soon as you [TS]

00:42:19   know the the software became the [TS]

00:42:22   technology [TS]

00:42:23   she said from that point on the policy [TS]

00:42:26   has been sent the errors out people will [TS]

00:42:28   find them and that's how you improve [TS]

00:42:30   your product [TS]

00:42:31   you really know your users will report [TS]

00:42:34   errors back to you and then you refine [TS]

00:42:36   your product based on people out there [TS]

00:42:39   using a thing they paid for that there's [TS]

00:42:41   a little tell us that these peaches are [TS]

00:42:43   back [TS]

00:42:43   yeah exactly and she's like she's like [TS]

00:42:45   it drives me freaking crazy and I mean I [TS]

00:42:48   we were we were using computers to put a [TS]

00:42:50   man on the moon we did not have the [TS]

00:42:53   luxury of errors but now your machine [TS]

00:42:57   crashes your your device goes you know [TS]

00:43:00   tits up your this year this happens to [TS]

00:43:03   that happens you can't get it to let the [TS]

00:43:05   Diagnostics say the diagnostic says the [TS]

00:43:07   network diagnostics is the network [TS]

00:43:08   didn't work [TS]

00:43:09   yeah run the diagnostic it doesn't work [TS]

00:43:12   great thank you did you try unplugging [TS]

00:43:14   your device I'm gonna fucking shoot you [TS]

00:43:16   now would you like to have a live chat [TS]

00:43:18   and then she's like she's like there's [TS]

00:43:20   no reason there is no earthly reason why [TS]

00:43:24   they could not make that what why they [TS]

00:43:27   could not make these products error-free [TS]

00:43:29   the only reason they don't is that is [TS]

00:43:31   more expensive and so yeah so they just [TS]

00:43:34   they they push it out the door they know [TS]

00:43:36   it's not ready they know it's not good [TS]

00:43:38   and you know and then they keep and then [TS]

00:43:41   they send you an update and the update [TS]

00:43:43   is a product of of 5,000 people being so [TS]

00:43:47   frustrated that they're pulling their [TS]

00:43:48   hair out and then it's like oh we [TS]

00:43:50   figured out that this needs an update [TS]

00:43:52   because it doesn't fucking work and she [TS]

00:43:54   you know so she has this Mickey 78 years [TS]

00:43:57   old she's seen it all but she has this [TS]

00:43:59   feeling about about the lives that we're [TS]

00:44:01   leading and the interaction we have with [TS]

00:44:03   machines and she's like you what you're [TS]

00:44:06   interacting with is someone on the other [TS]

00:44:08   side of the corporation who decided that [TS]

00:44:11   it wasn't worth the extra 50 man-hours [TS]

00:44:14   to make the thing work right in the case [TS]

00:44:17   of something like nuts like Microsoft in [TS]

00:44:18   particular but really anybody's making [TS]

00:44:20   consumer products you're trying to make [TS]

00:44:22   something that's brought enough to sell [TS]

00:44:23   to a lot of people it's got to do so [TS]

00:44:25   broadly do so many different sorts of [TS]

00:44:26   things generally and then there's you [TS]

00:44:29   know the more stuff that something does [TS]

00:44:30   the more things there are to test more [TS]

00:44:32   things there are to go wrong when you [TS]

00:44:33   buy a car with power windows like that's [TS]

00:44:35   something that's gonna break right when [TS]

00:44:37   you get that kind of stuff it you know [TS]

00:44:38   here's the other thing mr. car with [TS]

00:44:40   power windows because if you go off a [TS]

00:44:41   breakdown [TS]

00:44:42   you can't get out here your cars [TS]

00:44:43   thinking I really like that we're gonna [TS]

00:44:45   do you might have to have one of those [TS]

00:44:46   have you seen those things that they [TS]

00:44:47   sell the hammer thing went window hammer [TS]

00:44:49   but but your your sense of my favorite [TS]

00:44:52   to the black metal bands window hammer [TS]

00:44:54   window amer your car is sinking in a [TS]

00:44:57   cold river in the middle of the night [TS]

00:44:58   and you're going to find that fucking [TS]

00:44:59   window hammer that you have in your [TS]

00:45:00   glovebox gotta rehearse [TS]

00:45:02   I don't think oh that's right so you [TS]

00:45:03   have to rehearse this is why this is why [TS]

00:45:05   it might bring himself to use the window [TS]

00:45:07   hammer again now the cars training you [TS]

00:45:09   the cars training you [TS]

00:45:10   the car is training you because because [TS]

00:45:13   it because the false luxury of a of an [TS]

00:45:15   automatic but you actually that just one [TS]

00:45:17   quick Darrell to myself is this is why [TS]

00:45:19   I've never gotten the hang of most voice [TS]

00:45:22   recognition software like I have friends [TS]

00:45:24   I've my friends listen to the show have [TS]

00:45:26   written you know 50,000 word pieces of [TS]

00:45:31   writing using dictation but the thing is [TS]

00:45:34   yeah yeah it but you have to train the [TS]

00:45:36   dictation this is the fight part one [TS]

00:45:37   quick you have to go to court train the [TS]

00:45:39   dictation you have to do is try that one [TS]

00:45:41   time and this dictation program produced [TS]

00:45:44   four pages of the most incredible Dada [TS]

00:45:48   poetry [TS]

00:45:49   yes I I minded for lyrics for 10 years [TS]

00:45:53   but but it never it never once produced [TS]

00:45:56   III was just as i can tell you as part [TS]

00:45:59   of the live chat here i can i can tell [TS]

00:46:00   you basically what the likely problem [TS]

00:46:03   was it was you didn't quote-unquote [TS]

00:46:04   train the software are we having a live [TS]

00:46:07   chat [TS]

00:46:07   it's not what you just said my name is [TS]

00:46:09   Lawrence and I am to be enjoying [TS]

00:46:10   volleyball player isn't it funny that [TS]

00:46:13   the chatroulette that's why did i get so [TS]

00:46:17   uncomfortable but this is the method to [TS]

00:46:21   this the case here's the funny thing so [TS]

00:46:22   they call that training the software [TS]

00:46:24   right but really it's the software [TS]

00:46:25   training you it's you it's you learning [TS]

00:46:28   to speak when you when you open up [TS]

00:46:29   dragon dictate it shows you about 34 [TS]

00:46:32   pages of things that you read and it [TS]

00:46:35   tells you how well that you're doing it [TS]

00:46:36   recommends that you speak try to imagine [TS]

00:46:39   speaking a like a newscaster with a [TS]

00:46:41   neutral and so anyway you have no [TS]

00:46:43   they're training you how to talk period [TS]

00:46:45   new space news new line new line but [TS]

00:46:47   here's the thing and you're really onto [TS]

00:46:48   something I think with the grocery [TS]

00:46:50   checkout thing is this bigger pattern [TS]

00:46:53   setting aside from OSHA come back to the [TS]

00:46:55   profit per square foot but it's really [TS]

00:46:57   about making something seemed now i'm [TS]

00:47:00   talking like I'm doing dragon dictation [TS]

00:47:02   it's about making something seem like [TS]

00:47:04   it's good for you when it's really just [TS]

00:47:06   easy for the company that's what it is [TS]

00:47:08   it's cheap it's cheap because you don't [TS]

00:47:10   have to pay that idiot manager to sit [TS]

00:47:11   there and and run your coaches over a [TS]

00:47:13   scanner my god heaven forfend and this [TS]

00:47:16   happens to us all the time mrs. part of [TS]

00:47:17   that this is part of how we are [TS]

00:47:19   domesticated so that we can live with [TS]

00:47:20   one another like I understand that a red [TS]

00:47:23   light at a at a stoplight at an [TS]

00:47:24   intersection it is not natural for me to [TS]

00:47:27   come to that thing and stop i have been [TS]

00:47:30   trained and have trained myself to [TS]

00:47:32   recognize that red light is not it's not [TS]

00:47:35   just an an alert about a potential [TS]

00:47:37   danger but it has become just a thing [TS]

00:47:39   that now i acquiesce to without thinking [TS]

00:47:42   I stopped at the red light even if [TS]

00:47:44   there's nobody around i stopped at the [TS]

00:47:46   red light just as a matter of course I [TS]

00:47:48   have trained myself to do it [TS]

00:47:49   nominally for the most part and during [TS]

00:47:52   the day during the day and if it's not [TS]

00:47:55   an intersection that I know well enough [TS]

00:47:56   to know that the red light doesn't [TS]

00:47:58   belong there to serving suggestion to [TS]

00:47:59   her plenty of red lights and stop signs [TS]

00:48:01   in this city that I have determined [TS]

00:48:03   are superfluous to my needs and I don't [TS]

00:48:06   stop at them but let's still were just [TS]

00:48:08   talking about let's say a red light in a [TS]

00:48:09   strange town but at the point at which i [TS]

00:48:14   am being trained in that same way like [TS]

00:48:16   here's a red light stop the same kind of [TS]

00:48:18   unconscious training that happens we're [TS]

00:48:20   the only point of that training is to is [TS]

00:48:23   to improve the profit margin of a [TS]

00:48:25   company that I hate that is where i [TS]

00:48:28   repel and and and generally like it when [TS]

00:48:30   i when i go through the supermarket [TS]

00:48:31   checkout line and talk to a real human [TS]

00:48:33   being I am conscious of the fact that is [TS]

00:48:38   actually taking it's actually costing [TS]

00:48:41   the store more you understand it when [TS]

00:48:45   yeah i'm i'm i'm aware that that my [TS]

00:48:48   interaction with this person like [TS]

00:48:51   aggregated over over 10,000 interactions [TS]

00:48:54   cost the store more than if i went [TS]

00:48:56   through the checkout and I am and there [TS]

00:48:59   are certain stores in certain retail [TS]

00:49:01   encounters that I have where I i used [TS]

00:49:04   that as a punitive measure like I go I [TS]

00:49:08   go through the process in the most [TS]

00:49:11   labor-intensive way possible as a way of [TS]

00:49:13   like punishing the company i know it's a [TS]

00:49:17   small thing but it's how i could only [TS]

00:49:19   you directly punish the company [TS]

00:49:21   well there are there have to be ways you [TS]

00:49:23   will see this is this is able to take [TS]

00:49:25   off your clothes yeah exactly through [TS]

00:49:26   the chair through the window but see [TS]

00:49:28   that's my problem is I go and I go in [TS]

00:49:30   there and i got i'm going to go up I'm [TS]

00:49:31   gonna go pick up when i get a magazine [TS]

00:49:34   I'm gonna get some yogurt and made a [TS]

00:49:35   handle of tequila and the lines are now [TS]

00:49:39   going down down all the way down the [TS]

00:49:41   aisles and so you know how I give it to [TS]

00:49:42   the man I put all those things I got [TS]

00:49:44   down i just put it down and walk out [TS]

00:49:46   like that'll show right because like all [TS]

00:49:48   I'm doing is all you're doing is making [TS]

00:49:49   work for somebody who's gonna have to go [TS]

00:49:51   clean that up right [TS]

00:49:53   it's a shame that your potato cannot be [TS]

00:49:54   registered you know in some way or using [TS]

00:49:57   your onion could be registered in a way [TS]

00:49:58   that could express your descent in a [TS]

00:50:00   more muscular way than being just short [TS]

00:50:02   and onion that's a goddamn shame well [TS]

00:50:04   and I feel like I feel like the because [TS]

00:50:06   routinely in i think this happens to me [TS]

00:50:08   at least once a day maybe sometimes on a [TS]

00:50:11   bad day five times a day but where I [TS]

00:50:14   come up to the counter and I see that [TS]

00:50:16   that [TS]

00:50:16   a store is being run badly or a [TS]

00:50:18   situation a commercial situation is [TS]

00:50:21   being managed poorly and it costs them [TS]

00:50:25   my business like I look at it and I go [TS]

00:50:28   right i was about to spend X number of [TS]

00:50:31   dollars here but because i don't approve [TS]

00:50:33   of the way the stores being run I it is [TS]

00:50:35   costing them my business and that is a [TS]

00:50:38   way I I and that is a it's a mute thing [TS]

00:50:41   I don't go to the manager and say you [TS]

00:50:43   know this cost you my business is your [TS]

00:50:45   mind bullets i just sent my mind bullets [TS]

00:50:47   out and I say boom i'm not buying this [TS]

00:50:49   now I'm not shopping here but i think a [TS]

00:50:52   big part of of why I do that why that is [TS]

00:50:54   a mantra is that a lot of people go into [TS]

00:50:58   those commercial situations and the [TS]

00:51:00   frustration builds up in them but they [TS]

00:51:03   need the thing where they think they [TS]

00:51:05   need the thing that they're there to buy [TS]

00:51:06   and so they endure the the shitty the [TS]

00:51:13   shitty exchange or there but they're [TS]

00:51:15   storing up all the all the frustration [TS]

00:51:17   and anger in themselves you know because [TS]

00:51:20   they because they have put their need [TS]

00:51:22   above any other consideration and so I [TS]

00:51:26   need the need exists in obscurity and [TS]

00:51:27   they're almost worshipping that need in [TS]

00:51:29   a way that has been setting aside the [TS]

00:51:31   culture dignity the need is way up in [TS]

00:51:33   the clouds its way up above where they [TS]

00:51:35   can see and so they're in these [TS]

00:51:37   situations that are just like I am [TS]

00:51:39   there's nothing i can do i need this [TS]

00:51:40   thing and I just now they're kinda mad [TS]

00:51:43   at themselves to their there and it [TS]

00:51:45   turns into a form of self-hate and this [TS]

00:51:47   so what I do in those situations is my [TS]

00:51:50   primary interaction and my the need is [TS]

00:51:56   is below the desire to have a positive [TS]

00:51:59   exchange like if I can't have a positive [TS]

00:52:02   exchange then the need goes away and [TS]

00:52:05   it's a way of like of of keeping myself [TS]

00:52:08   saying in a in a world that does not [TS]

00:52:11   care about me as a customer now is this [TS]

00:52:13   all inward turning is this internal soft [TS]

00:52:15   regulation a kind of anger meditation or [TS]

00:52:18   are you how is this how is this was the [TS]

00:52:20   healthiness in this well by saying like [TS]

00:52:22   you're not getting my business but not [TS]

00:52:25   saying it but not saying not saying to [TS]

00:52:27   people just saying it to myself okay you [TS]

00:52:29   getting my business hey it then I then I [TS]

00:52:34   kind of have a moment where you're like [TS]

00:52:35   a really personal complaint department [TS]

00:52:37   I but i will go across the street or [TS]

00:52:40   down the block or across town to a [TS]

00:52:43   different store if if I if I actually [TS]

00:52:45   need a thing rather than then have a bad [TS]

00:52:49   customer service experience with a [TS]

00:52:51   shitty story that's being run poorly and [TS]

00:52:53   it's a small thing but I think if more [TS]

00:52:55   of us thought this way it does this is [TS]

00:52:58   this is precisely this is precisely [TS]

00:53:01   capitalism as it is meant to work or [TS]

00:53:04   capitalism as they discuss its evolution [TS]

00:53:06   as intended to where everyone would [TS]

00:53:07   discuss it as Babylon has cited numerous [TS]

00:53:09   times this is how it should work supply [TS]

00:53:11   and demand [TS]

00:53:12   well you know the there if you're stuck [TS]

00:53:14   you're stuck in yuan Fei go out in [TS]

00:53:16   John's a hood let me say network ping [TS]

00:53:18   pong but if you want that well you know [TS]

00:53:20   you may be out of luck and you may have [TS]

00:53:21   to satisfy for a doctor fig on right [TS]

00:53:23   this is precisely why i never ever ever [TS]

00:53:27   go into this little Korean bottega by my [TS]

00:53:30   house because I went in there five years [TS]

00:53:32   ago when I moved in here and the kid [TS]

00:53:35   looked up from his video game and he [TS]

00:53:36   said what's half-and-half yeah and I [TS]

00:53:39   never went back [TS]

00:53:40   just echoes in your head that was like [TS]

00:53:42   me and the racist fireman bar i'm so [TS]

00:53:44   excited more than the racist fireman bar [TS]

00:53:47   when I first moved in placed on the [TS]

00:53:48   corner [TS]

00:53:48   I was like those reasons of a new it's [TS]

00:53:50   amazing grace its Mason Reese the child [TS]

00:53:52   actor who still a child oddly enough in [TS]

00:53:54   a pituitary problem [TS]

00:53:55   no I was so excited because you know I i [TS]

00:53:58   was excited in Florida have a place like [TS]

00:54:00   a kind of call my own my little sort of [TS]

00:54:01   shares fireman bar there in your new [TS]

00:54:03   house Connor Connors yeah yeah yeah but [TS]

00:54:05   yeah yeah i think it was about that the [TS]

00:54:07   first time I went and he walked me past [TS]

00:54:08   the first time I met you and you're like [TS]

00:54:11   that's a great experiment bar I never go [TS]

00:54:13   in there it sucks i went in there like [TS]

00:54:14   oh this is cool it's kind of blue collar [TS]

00:54:16   and I went in there and within within [TS]

00:54:19   the first couple seconds hurt nigger sit [TS]

00:54:21   around all day watching TV hot attacked [TS]

00:54:23   attire and it's like well i checked [TS]

00:54:25   least I up and i'm not saying that they [TS]

00:54:29   did up [TS]

00:54:30   I'm saying naked I mean they really let [TS]

00:54:32   it peel and that was just ok and they [TS]

00:54:35   just they were throwing lucky charms at [TS]

00:54:36   each other [TS]

00:54:38   apparently these folks just watch TV and [TS]

00:54:42   their women and they keep getting [TS]

00:54:43   promotions and they they love their TV [TS]

00:54:45   these folks apparently forty-seven [TS]

00:54:47   percent of the population and so I [TS]

00:54:49   didn't you nobody is a funny thing [TS]

00:54:50   there's several places in my [TS]

00:54:51   neighborhood that only in the last [TS]

00:54:52   couple years have i returned to after [TS]

00:54:55   what you're describing which is the [TS]

00:54:56   initial like whoa experience this [TS]

00:54:59   replacement you know about money hands [TS]

00:55:00   you know the iso places what he's [TS]

00:55:02   amazing he's amazing your neighbor and [TS]

00:55:04   you not told you this before but one [TS]

00:55:05   reason i love that guy i have an Inside [TS]

00:55:06   Man here in the neighborhood who is in [TS]

00:55:08   the merchants association tells me all [TS]

00:55:09   the dirt and what's great about that [TS]

00:55:11   place in our favor so I think I told you [TS]

00:55:12   this is that it's it's not just purely [TS]

00:55:16   amazing that they had cats in the [TS]

00:55:19   kitchen [TS]

00:55:21   here's here's the really really cool [TS]

00:55:23   part about it is they didn't mind that [TS]

00:55:26   there were cats in the kitchen they [TS]

00:55:28   weren't they were to strip the healthy [TS]

00:55:29   people didn't mind here's the thing no [TS]

00:55:31   no no money and money hands had cats and [TS]

00:55:33   pitch and here's here's where it gets [TS]

00:55:35   great so you think oh haha that's funny [TS]

00:55:38   they're silly they're mad and trying to [TS]

00:55:40   shoot cats out with a broom or they're [TS]

00:55:42   insane and like cats hanging around [TS]

00:55:45   no no it's much weirder than that just [TS]

00:55:47   happened to be cats persistently in the [TS]

00:55:50   kitchen and they it just was just thing [TS]

00:55:53   oh so that's a dim sum place we go to [TS]

00:55:55   all the time [TS]

00:55:56   that's the best dim sum of the world i [TS]

00:55:57   had dim sum for breakfast the other day [TS]

00:55:59   I was so jealous i saw your photograph [TS]

00:56:01   is very doing things you get 60 mi that [TS]

00:56:04   I could see right in front of you [TS]

00:56:05   yeah is what when she came in she said [TS]

00:56:07   to my I was like give me to give me to [TS]

00:56:09   keep moving keep moving it was basically [TS]

00:56:11   keep badgering you while you're eating [TS]

00:56:12   to get more got it was the worst we hang [TS]

00:56:14   that not the worst but I mean we we [TS]

00:56:16   showed up we were shown to our table i [TS]

00:56:18   was putting the baby in her little baby [TS]

00:56:21   seat by mistake about that is already a [TS]

00:56:23   woman there with the cart like trying to [TS]

00:56:26   foist sugar covered pork buns on me and [TS]

00:56:29   I'm like hey lady I got my coat on still [TS]

00:56:31   I haven't even sat down all know that [TS]

00:56:33   that is hard sales that is you know what [TS]

00:56:34   that is that's fucking meeting that's [TS]

00:56:36   when she looked at me like she doesn't [TS]

00:56:37   speak English em some dim sum boiler [TS]

00:56:40   room is what it is they're on ok [TS]

00:56:43   actually the dim sum guy in your [TS]

00:56:45   neighborhood he never washes his hands [TS]

00:56:47   yeah and who has now I not only talking [TS]

00:56:49   money that's in the kitchen but somehow [TS]

00:56:51   stickin outta here cisco is fine with [TS]

00:56:53   this guy may never shut him down and I [TS]

00:56:55   think our entire I think our entire [TS]

00:56:57   health inspection thing is a total [TS]

00:57:00   racket i'm pretty sure to two places [TS]

00:57:02   that night well one place that I've been [TS]

00:57:04   to a few times in another place I've [TS]

00:57:06   been to a lot of times have been shut [TS]

00:57:08   down in the last couple months for what [TS]

00:57:10   I would just say are some fairly [TS]

00:57:12   egregious problems [TS]

00:57:13   yeah yeah yeahs a place that I like when [TS]

00:57:16   people come to town I was taken to this [TS]

00:57:17   where we're going to that place too long [TS]

00:57:20   vietnamese place yeah with eric i think [TS]

00:57:22   yeah yeah they had live and dead roaches [TS]

00:57:25   the eggs that have been out for three [TS]

00:57:27   days it was just really pretty bad [TS]

00:57:30   it's like all the way down the line I [TS]

00:57:32   think they'd live and dead mice and [TS]

00:57:34   that's you know pick one you don't have [TS]

00:57:36   the ice dead mice and live mice so even [TS]

00:57:39   the mics are kind of like you know not [TS]

00:57:40   real picky i'm gonna want talking to you [TS]

00:57:42   I'm I'm standing up now [TS]

00:57:44   yes i'm going to swat a fly yeah please [TS]

00:57:46   go ahead with this map of Central [TS]

00:57:48   American let's see if this works [TS]

00:57:49   oh haha costa rica oh my god live and [TS]

00:57:55   dead flies in here live and dead red [TS]

00:57:57   lightning strange tell you that fly down [TS]

00:57:59   there are no life was i I realize you're [TS]

00:58:02   probably not a not a big that can t [TS]

00:58:04   stand again trust your mechanic this is [TS]

00:58:06   the problem trust your mechanic the guy [TS]

00:58:08   that you go to that you go into and you [TS]

00:58:10   say hey like your dad right [TS]

00:58:12   your dad needs his car so you're dead [TS]

00:58:14   this is adding photos became he needed a [TS]

00:58:16   car so that he could drive to his [TS]

00:58:18   mechanic every week to find out what [TS]

00:58:20   needed to be fixed about his car is that [TS]

00:58:21   a fair assessment that is exactly [TS]

00:58:23   correct [TS]

00:58:23   okay well god bless your dad but that's [TS]

00:58:25   kind of typical not that typifies the [TS]

00:58:28   cultural problem that we're talking [TS]

00:58:29   about here in some ways isn't it is i [TS]

00:58:31   have learned this learned training by by [TS]

00:58:36   these very societal robots [TS]

00:58:38   yeah well I I mean I feel like that's a [TS]

00:58:40   lot of people's relationship to alcohol [TS]

00:58:42   too [TS]

00:58:42   I need this alcohol to get over these [TS]

00:58:45   problems that are being caused by the [TS]

00:58:47   meeting alcohol the real ones float [TS]

00:58:49   oh that's good John that's good [TS]

00:58:51   um here's my problem um I wish [TS]

00:58:54   self-checkout works and in some ways I [TS]

00:58:56   think self-checkout is the thin and a [TS]

00:58:59   surprising wedge like I i think that is [TS]

00:59:02   a stupid fucking hack on top of [TS]

00:59:04   something from basically the 19th [TS]

00:59:06   century which is waiting in line to have [TS]

00:59:09   somebody bring up your stuff like if you [TS]

00:59:11   think about it like if you're going to [TS]

00:59:12   really try to if you like up and that [TS]

00:59:14   paradigm it wouldn't be to make a [TS]

00:59:16   slightly shittier version of a shitty [TS]

00:59:18   process right it would be to do [TS]

00:59:20   something smart like what I with you [TS]

00:59:22   well I mean like in some ways let's be [TS]

00:59:24   honest it's going to go the way of [TS]

00:59:25   amazon if there's any sense to this [TS]

00:59:27   you'll make a giant grocery order and go [TS]

00:59:29   pick it up somewhere [TS]

00:59:30   ryan the guy in a brown in a brown suit [TS]

00:59:33   is going to show up at your house with [TS]

00:59:34   your groceries not necessarily but see [TS]

00:59:37   like walmart for years as is goofy and [TS]

00:59:40   scary as Walmart is like they're really [TS]

00:59:41   smart like they use our face they know [TS]

00:59:43   where everything is they know everything [TS]

00:59:45   about their their supply chain the way [TS]

00:59:46   they've been able to do what they do is [TS]

00:59:48   they have these warehouses all over the [TS]

00:59:50   place it's super lean just-in-time other [TS]

00:59:52   douche talk but but but here's the thing [TS]

00:59:54   so how are you improve this okay here's [TS]

00:59:56   me here's me okay this is me at safeway [TS]

00:59:58   where I'm just always so angry [TS]

00:59:58   where I'm just always so angry [TS]

01:00:00   I'm so fucking angry at safeway so [TS]

01:00:01   here's me and your and your beloved [TS]

01:00:03   cashiers this is this is my transaction [TS]

01:00:05   ok I've got here's what I've got I've [TS]

01:00:06   got to I got some yogurt [TS]

01:00:08   I got some tequila I got some lime juice [TS]

01:00:10   and I got 4 replies [TS]

01:00:13   oh right okay ready this is a daily [TS]

01:00:16   thing right [TS]

01:00:17   hey 444 revised it's like this every day [TS]

01:00:21   yeah that's my favorite howling love [TS]

01:00:22   songs and and so I'm greeted i'm greeted [TS]

01:00:25   in this incredibly grim way to go [TS]

01:00:27   uh-oh did you find everything in here [TS]

01:00:29   today i said and i go and you can't [TS]

01:00:32   really see some fairly making noise I [TS]

01:00:33   mostly just nodding my head as if to say [TS]

01:00:35   no like I just I don't even respond well [TS]

01:00:37   why the fuck you care for that way you [TS]

01:00:38   know why cause I told you to say that is [TS]

01:00:40   for anything any ok you are you enjoying [TS]

01:00:43   your day [TS]

01:00:45   thank you did you have a loyalty park [TS]

01:00:48   you type in your your front of us so get [TS]

01:00:52   me a debit or credit cash would you like [TS]

01:00:56   to donate a dollar for a penis cancer [TS]

01:00:58   no thank you I like penis cancer i would [TS]

01:01:02   like to see it continue [TS]

01:01:03   did you see that we have mms on sale ah [TS]

01:01:06   i did thank you [TS]

01:01:08   mm-hmm stakes yummy [TS]

01:01:12   oh wow you really you really have to [TS]

01:01:15   have a real chatter yes yummy lime are [TS]

01:01:18   you making pie [TS]

01:01:19   no I'm putting it in the fucking tequila [TS]

01:01:21   you piece of shit [TS]

01:01:24   now listen that the I think you're doing [TS]

01:01:25   this wrong and I hate to be a one that [TS]

01:01:27   tells you you're doing something wrong [TS]

01:01:28   did you bring your bags no I didn't [TS]

01:01:30   bring my bags are putting my backpack [TS]

01:01:32   thank you for saving a tree here's your [TS]

01:01:34   receipt at 16 feet long with seven [TS]

01:01:36   coupons i leave sitting there [TS]

01:01:38   fuck you i think i think the same [TS]

01:01:40   approach to cashiers that I do taxi [TS]

01:01:42   drivers times I i I'd say turn it off it [TS]

01:01:46   they say hi welcome to to safeway and [TS]

01:01:48   already have your customer card and I [TS]

01:01:49   say yeah right here so i know when i say [TS]

01:01:52   and I say so where you from [TS]

01:01:55   uh-huh well where where'd you grow up [TS]

01:01:57   and they're like huh [TS]

01:02:00   I'm from I'm from around here and I'm [TS]

01:02:02   like oh really right around here the [TS]

01:02:04   neighborhood and they're like I me know [TS]

01:02:06   and then you turn the tables on them and [TS]

01:02:08   then pretty soon your final round [TS]

01:02:09   mm okay and then a guy that behind you [TS]

01:02:12   he's trying to buy the 8-pack of imodium [TS]

01:02:14   is this kind of tapping his foot a [TS]

01:02:16   little bit while the guy behind me it [TS]

01:02:17   was trying to buy a pair of imodium is [TS]

01:02:19   like you know what I'm not gonna shop [TS]

01:02:21   here today because this is a constant [TS]

01:02:23   rate so he steals and I mean he puts the [TS]

01:02:26   mountain down and see us magazine rack [TS]

01:02:29   skills and onion for okay here and [TS]

01:02:33   that's how i do my part I know you from [TS]

01:02:35   your from you you get it back to them [TS]

01:02:38   you give as good as you get your selling [TS]

01:02:39   the salesman right you're watching the [TS]

01:02:41   watchmen even better I don't let don't [TS]

01:02:43   let a clerk give me his memorized [TS]

01:02:46   pattern [TS]

01:02:47   are you kidding me but seriously John IP [TS]

01:02:49   they have a sign back there with three [TS]

01:02:51   bullets on about the three things you're [TS]

01:02:52   supposed to say to every customer number [TS]

01:02:54   one is accidentally found gives me [TS]

01:02:56   memorized pattern [TS]

01:02:58   oh my goal is immediately to break their [TS]

01:03:01   pattern and to get them to fight to get [TS]

01:03:04   your gonna ask them a question for which [TS]

01:03:06   there is no tab in the binder when [TS]

01:03:09   somebody comes to my door and they want [TS]

01:03:10   to talk to me about Jehovah I i [TS]

01:03:13   immediately I don't let them go three [TS]

01:03:15   words into a pattern your panty smells [TS]

01:03:17   like grape juice [TS]

01:03:18   yeah I get all Rob Delaney on my mind [TS]

01:03:21   however is your bush haha yeah this is [TS]

01:03:26   you know like we end up you know they [TS]

01:03:28   end up coming in we end up getting to [TS]

01:03:29   know each other [TS]

01:03:30   yeah I had a friend i have a friend who [TS]

01:03:32   is it a DJ at the college radio station [TS]

01:03:34   she's great she's great musician she's a [TS]

01:03:36   really nice person but I I later found [TS]

01:03:38   out it was a friend of mine who had been [TS]

01:03:40   terrorizing her which was pretty much [TS]

01:03:42   all the time if she did anything more [TS]

01:03:44   than back announced what the song was [TS]

01:03:46   and say what's coming up my friend call [TS]

01:03:47   her on the phone and say let's talk more [TS]

01:03:49   Rokk to hang up the phone every time [TS]

01:03:52   let's talk more Rokk and she would cook [TS]

01:03:53   should be in tears and found that it's [TS]

01:03:55   actually a friend of mine really good [TS]

01:03:56   friend of mine but I wondering if that [TS]

01:03:58   can be our onion replacement is talk [TS]

01:04:01   more Rokk how did you find everything [TS]

01:04:03   you need less talk more rokk I'm okay [TS]

01:04:04   are you doing today let's talk more Rokk [TS]

01:04:06   you have less talk more rokk did you [TS]

01:04:08   want penis and less talk more rokk penis [TS]

01:04:10   get less talk more rokk less tell us [TS]

01:04:13   more rock you know what that should be [TS]

01:04:15   there should be a long line teacher I [TS]

01:04:17   mean we already [TS]

01:04:18   a lot of people i think it's cute it's [TS]

01:04:20   certainly a companion piece to keep [TS]

01:04:21   moving and get out of the way but what I [TS]

01:04:23   like about that though is it's like it's [TS]

01:04:25   like Hitler it's something everybody can [TS]

01:04:26   understand [TS]

01:04:27   yeah right let's talk more Rokk I just [TS]

01:04:29   love that your friend is sitting there [TS]

01:04:30   listening to the radio boy's body on [TS]

01:04:32   sunday morning acoustic show is gonna [TS]

01:04:35   stick that's a shot Coleman chef and [TS]

01:04:38   Dave picks up the phone and it's been [TS]

01:04:40   poor jen is their answers the phone now [TS]

01:04:42   you know the BBFS let's talk more Rokk I [TS]

01:04:49   I you know what is the John it is awful [TS]

01:04:52   of a person as I am especially in public [TS]

01:04:55   I'm not such an awful person in private [TS]

01:04:57   and you know you seen scott me try to [TS]

01:04:59   make the waitress like it's it's hard to [TS]

01:05:00   watch [TS]

01:05:01   yeah yeah have you seen this have you [TS]

01:05:02   seen as both really go out there to make [TS]

01:05:04   the waitress like us it's perhaps I [TS]

01:05:07   genuinely want to be like my and that's [TS]

01:05:09   my problem with the onion is that i wish [TS]

01:05:12   i wish there was an onion that I could [TS]

01:05:13   throw directly at pleasanton california [TS]

01:05:15   because I don't want to hurt the safeway [TS]

01:05:17   cashier person because that person is [TS]

01:05:19   just doing a shitty job I feel bad [TS]

01:05:21   having to tell this woman who looks like [TS]

01:05:23   a manatee let's talk more Rokk because [TS]

01:05:25   she just reading off the fucking card [TS]

01:05:27   but John can I just say what happens [TS]

01:05:30   when we all start reading off the [TS]

01:05:32   fucking card what happens today in land [TS]

01:05:36   sale in it now while Sudetenland what [TS]

01:05:39   fishy your fishy you can you get a you [TS]

01:05:41   become what is it a skate rotten you [TS]

01:05:44   know skater that students cater but [TS]

01:05:46   there are there are many many many of us [TS]

01:05:47   and I mean and I ride on cars John I [TS]

01:05:49   don't read often i hate to constantly be [TS]

01:05:51   the voice now in this podcast that [TS]

01:05:53   sounds like like some kind of crazy tea [TS]

01:05:56   partier who doesn't understand politics [TS]

01:05:57   but uh but there's there are many many [TS]

01:06:01   of us were never thought you'd reached a [TS]

01:06:02   quiet date on the tea party and then [TS]

01:06:05   figure the thing about somebody who's [TS]

01:06:06   working in a store and this is the or [TS]

01:06:08   working in a restaurant or working [TS]

01:06:09   anywhere at this is the thing about you [TS]

01:06:12   waitress appeasers that I keep trying to [TS]

01:06:15   get through your heads is that dignity [TS]

01:06:18   dignity [TS]

01:06:19   they're working a five-hour shift they [TS]

01:06:21   are not on salary so they're it's a [TS]

01:06:25   five-hour shift whether you send them [TS]

01:06:27   back to check to see if there's a [TS]

01:06:30   blackberry pie or not [TS]

01:06:32   it's the same five-hour shift whether or [TS]

01:06:34   not you put your imodium AD down in [TS]

01:06:37   front of the US magazines and walk out [TS]

01:06:38   of the store and somebody has to take it [TS]

01:06:40   back like it's the same final challenge [TS]

01:06:43   it's it's it's a fixed pie so the thing [TS]

01:06:45   is they're going to pay people to be at [TS]

01:06:47   the store whether that's counting onions [TS]

01:06:49   removing the modem from us magazines or [TS]

01:06:52   are collecting the money for penis [TS]

01:06:53   cancer it's all going to be comes out of [TS]

01:06:54   the same big rotten pot yeah and-and-and [TS]

01:06:57   the mentality that waitress appeasers a [TS]

01:06:59   bring into the world is that this [TS]

01:07:01   cashier or this waitress has something [TS]

01:07:03   very important to do or that her time is [TS]

01:07:06   somehow so valuable bet you can't you [TS]

01:07:09   don't want to bother her to ask her to [TS]

01:07:10   go back and check again to make sure [TS]

01:07:12   that they know you're slicing my I mean [TS]

01:07:15   you're slicing my onion a little bit [TS]

01:07:16   because i am not doing the liberal who [TS]

01:07:19   your job is really hard [TS]

01:07:20   No thank you I'm not doing that I just [TS]

01:07:23   want her to like me [TS]

01:07:24   yeah i know you wanted you know that was [TS]

01:07:25   a little different look at that is you [TS]

01:07:27   don't want you don't want to send her on [TS]

01:07:28   a wild goose chase but the thing is a [TS]

01:07:30   five-hour shift she's there anything you [TS]

01:07:33   sent on a wild goose chase maybe she [TS]

01:07:35   gets goes back there and has a menthol [TS]

01:07:36   cigarette before she comes back you know [TS]

01:07:38   I could be getting her [TS]

01:07:40   it's an opportunity cigarette it's an [TS]

01:07:41   opportunity cigarettes and so when I [TS]

01:07:43   walk around grocery stores and I decide [TS]

01:07:45   hey you know what the line is too long [TS]

01:07:47   i'm going to put this carton of milk [TS]

01:07:49   down right here in front of their like [TS]

01:07:52   point-of-purchase display offering me [TS]

01:07:55   the opportunity to to buy a super-large [TS]

01:07:57   candy bar and I'm just gonna walk out of [TS]

01:07:59   this store [TS]

01:07:59   oh yeah some kid has to come along and [TS]

01:08:01   put that thing back but that kid's gonna [TS]

01:08:04   be he's just he's just always gonna have [TS]

01:08:06   a feeling it's still cold now that goes [TS]

01:08:09   right back huh [TS]

01:08:10   doesn't matter that why did we go to [TS]

01:08:12   grocery stores you can be covered with [TS]

01:08:14   multiple with moss and he would put it [TS]

01:08:15   back in them but nobody's gonna make [TS]

01:08:17   sure efficient this photo with you but [TS]

01:08:19   that where I really get the suggested [TS]

01:08:20   cells at walgreens and i have a photo [TS]

01:08:22   that i shared on my internet site which [TS]

01:08:24   was a picture of a big rack of Eminem's [TS]

01:08:26   that I've been pointed to because [TS]

01:08:27   there's a his name's fan fan is one of [TS]

01:08:29   my check out guys and not to be confused [TS]

01:08:31   with pops4 guy trade x-men comics with [TS]

01:08:33   this is this is fan and I think he's man [TS]

01:08:36   fans part of the mammoth fan with a PM [TS]

01:08:39   with a PhD was Jason for a while but now [TS]

01:08:40   I think he's going back to life and [TS]

01:08:42   melon [TS]

01:08:42   him that his given name is this Kunis is [TS]

01:08:45   fan Mellencamp Mellencamp and he says [TS]

01:08:47   he's here we have mms on sale and i said [TS]

01:08:50   yes i did but as you can see here i am [TS]

01:08:52   buying a quart of chocolate fudge [TS]

01:08:54   brownie ice cream so I think I'm good [TS]

01:08:57   the best of all my hand to god I'll show [TS]

01:08:59   you this photo of this market the short [TS]

01:09:00   it is literally it is it is a a sign can [TS]

01:09:04   write next to the eminence in the [TS]

01:09:05   snickers bar where you can donate for [TS]

01:09:07   diabetes research [TS]

01:09:09   oh wow it's no penis cancer but it's [TS]

01:09:11   something [TS]

01:09:12   oh this is an example of a other thing [TS]

01:09:15   I'm still mad at my iphone about this [TS]

01:09:17   this happened nine months ago but i was [TS]

01:09:19   at the grocery store late at night and [TS]

01:09:22   I'm looking for i'm looking for a ribeye [TS]

01:09:25   or store some imodium really love their [TS]

01:09:28   line tonight and I and and so there used [TS]

01:09:32   to be a grocery store it down in this [TS]

01:09:34   neighborhood where I live because others [TS]

01:09:36   to the grocery store that had a very big [TS]

01:09:37   kosher section because in addition to [TS]

01:09:41   all the South Pacific Islanders there is [TS]

01:09:44   a large contingent of orthodox jews who [TS]

01:09:46   live nearby in a non claim that is [TS]

01:09:49   surrounded by a wire Simone's love a [TS]

01:09:51   nosh but so there was there was there [TS]

01:09:53   was a section of the of the that was all [TS]

01:09:55   kosher and then the grocery store that [TS]

01:09:57   had the kosher section decided that that [TS]

01:10:01   was not a good use of square footage or [TS]

01:10:03   something or they close their I don't [TS]

01:10:04   remember what happened but but so there [TS]

01:10:06   was all of a sudden now at diaspora of [TS]

01:10:09   kosher foods virtual accidents every [TS]

01:10:14   little grocery store an exodus of kosher [TS]

01:10:16   food in the neighborhood had to start [TS]

01:10:18   stocking some glatt a ground beef in [TS]

01:10:22   order to accommodate this community of [TS]

01:10:23   people who who cannot eat food that the [TS]

01:10:27   rest of busy like they're they're like a [TS]

01:10:29   really love their vegans accept it it [TS]

01:10:31   was written in a book a long time ago [TS]

01:10:33   foo and so I'm not nobody and nobody did [TS]

01:10:36   the magic trick over them [TS]

01:10:37   no one did there's no magic trick [TS]

01:10:39   happened so I'm I'm standing I'm looking [TS]

01:10:41   at the meat counter and I look over at [TS]

01:10:43   the kosher food display there there's [TS]

01:10:47   like a free of a refrigerator that has [TS]

01:10:49   all the sort of the beef that's been [TS]

01:10:51   bled in the correct way and that the and [TS]

01:10:54   all the subculture food and [TS]

01:10:55   right in front of it there's a cardboard [TS]

01:10:58   one of those like six foot tall [TS]

01:11:00   cardboards stands at 64 bits that says [TS]

01:11:06   you know special this week pork loin [TS]

01:11:10   wrapped in bacon with pork sauce and a [TS]

01:11:14   airport garnish and it's like it's [TS]

01:11:17   almost leaning against oh no it's really [TS]

01:11:21   truly adjacent it's right there it is in [TS]

01:11:23   front of as though your ears they're [TS]

01:11:26   shopping for your for your culture but [TS]

01:11:29   how do you miss that that's got to be an [TS]

01:11:30   obvious that's got to be a deliberate [TS]

01:11:32   fuck you i don't think i think it was [TS]

01:11:34   just I think it's just one of those [TS]

01:11:35   things certainly is there why is there [TS]

01:11:37   no as as i know its name Adam Smith Adam [TS]

01:11:40   Adam score wasn't writing hand way there [TS]

01:11:44   no invisible Adam know make sure place [TS]

01:11:47   no one in this grocery store there's one [TS]

01:11:49   guy in this grocery store and he's [TS]

01:11:50   probably the assistant manager who who [TS]

01:11:53   has ever put any thought into like [TS]

01:11:56   religion or culture at all you know like [TS]

01:11:59   the big picture they got no big picture [TS]

01:12:01   they got no big picture so I'm looking [TS]

01:12:02   at this thing and I'm like this is the [TS]

01:12:05   greatest synergistic moment this is if i [TS]

01:12:07   was going to be on Instagram this would [TS]

01:12:10   be my Instagram moment and I get my [TS]

01:12:12   iphone out to take a picture and the [TS]

01:12:14   iphone shits the bed and I like your [TS]

01:12:20   fingers in the wrong area and I'm like [TS]

01:12:22   you fucking thing you got them thing [TS]

01:12:25   that I have now I have invested myself [TS]

01:12:27   emotionally this is your shady iphone [TS]

01:12:29   just the same shitty iphone you could [TS]

01:12:31   just a little shitty iphone doesn't it [TS]

01:12:33   doesn't work at one point it was a great [TS]

01:12:35   iphone and then I was shady and change [TS]

01:12:37   the software one time yeah i upgraded my [TS]

01:12:40   software and then it became a crap [TS]

01:12:42   iphone and then i upgraded it again and [TS]

01:12:44   it became a shitty your iphone is super [TS]

01:12:46   shitty so and it's a 3gs it should be it [TS]

01:12:49   should be just as good at you know if [TS]

01:12:50   there's nothing wrong with it except [TS]

01:12:52   that Apple has planned Lee obsolescence [TS]

01:12:55   to do it and it but that's like saying [TS]

01:12:59   you've got a good pack mule it doesn't [TS]

01:13:00   really account for how much stuff we're [TS]

01:13:02   going to put onto the donkey this this I [TS]

01:13:04   you used to have a good donkey but now [TS]

01:13:05   there's too much shit on your dock [TS]

01:13:07   you know what it should you know what I [TS]

01:13:08   should use it for I should use it to [TS]

01:13:09   level my refrigerator i think stick it [TS]

01:13:11   under one corner of the fridge to take [TS]

01:13:12   once it clicks it comes up but so I'm [TS]

01:13:15   standing here and this is a situation [TS]

01:13:16   where is brittle 10 years ago before [TS]

01:13:19   there existed phones with cameras i [TS]

01:13:22   would have stood at this at this moment [TS]

01:13:25   this kosher display with the port side [TS]

01:13:28   in front of it how would have stood [TS]

01:13:30   there I would have appreciated it [TS]

01:13:32   I would have gone man wow that's all [TS]

01:13:35   there was to do it that night was to sit [TS]

01:13:37   there and enjoy that ephemeral moment [TS]

01:13:39   that's right and then I would have said [TS]

01:13:40   what you're saying well or that was that [TS]

01:13:43   was all that was available to me I would [TS]

01:13:44   have gone huh look at that and maybe you [TS]

01:13:47   know what I would have done maybe I [TS]

01:13:48   would have walked over to the front and [TS]

01:13:50   this is not this is actually true I [TS]

01:13:51   would have walked over to the assistant [TS]

01:13:53   manager at what I said hey um did you [TS]

01:13:55   notice that you've got a pork [TS]

01:13:58   advertisement in front of the kosher [TS]

01:13:59   foods display like maybe you should [TS]

01:14:03   think about that again like I would have [TS]

01:14:05   had something would have happened where [TS]

01:14:07   I would have I would have gone and talk [TS]

01:14:09   to somebody about it or maybe I would [TS]

01:14:10   have just grabbed the sign and moved it [TS]

01:14:13   somewhere else on my own I would have [TS]

01:14:14   taken that responsibility but now my [TS]

01:14:18   first impulse is to take a fucking [TS]

01:14:21   picture of it and put it on the internet [TS]

01:14:22   he retorted and and i have been trained [TS]

01:14:27   by the machine to say this is my reply [TS]

01:14:30   to this about the machines have trained [TS]

01:14:33   me to say haha tweet and then the [TS]

01:14:36   fucking machine doesn't you become a [TS]

01:14:39   machine for turning turning serendipity [TS]

01:14:41   and anger [TS]

01:14:42   they've trained you they've trained you [TS]

01:14:44   to change the way you've retooled your [TS]

01:14:46   factory and then then it's like then I'm [TS]

01:14:49   like a duck that got caught in in a [TS]

01:14:52   six-pack container of you know in some [TS]

01:14:55   kind of six pack plastic and I'm added [TS]

01:14:57   to water king I can't get my wing to [TS]

01:14:59   work and I'm like what the what the fuck [TS]

01:15:03   happened to me [TS]

01:15:03   ok I I don't want to put this on the [TS]

01:15:06   internet and make a joke out of it [TS]

01:15:07   I don't wanna I don't know I don't you [TS]

01:15:11   know and the thing is this the first up [TS]

01:15:13   that is supposed to come into my mind is [TS]

01:15:15   boy i need to go down and get a new [TS]

01:15:16   phone [TS]

01:15:18   I need to go spend five hundred dollars [TS]

01:15:19   to get a new phone so that I don't miss [TS]

01:15:21   these opportunities I just I just can't [TS]

01:15:23   believe that this failure of technology [TS]

01:15:25   it's not Camp stuff I can't believe that [TS]

01:15:26   it's just fascinating me this failure of [TS]

01:15:28   technology is what's what's caused your [TS]

01:15:30   your Hebraic direct action to be to be [TS]

01:15:33   thwarted to because in another time five [TS]

01:15:35   years ago with a feature phone you [TS]

01:15:37   would've jumped right in there right [TS]

01:15:39   usually all you would have gotten all [TS]

01:15:40   fucking menachem begin on that shit [TS]

01:15:41   moved it out of there I would have [TS]

01:15:42   gotten it out of there and we're going [TS]

01:15:44   to talk to the manager and I would have [TS]

01:15:45   given them a brief lecture on Judaism [TS]

01:15:48   and on cultural sensitivity and then I [TS]

01:15:51   want to got I would have gotten my rib [TS]

01:15:53   steaks and my new york super fudge chunk [TS]

01:15:55   and I would have gotten my car would [TS]

01:15:56   have said I did it I did my my work for [TS]

01:15:59   today but instead i'm standing there [TS]

01:16:01   with this impotent phone one thing if [TS]

01:16:03   you stealing money it with some plastic [TS]

01:16:05   wrapped around my my neck so I can't use [TS]

01:16:08   my wing and I'm thinking I need more [TS]

01:16:10   expensive phone [TS]

01:16:11   I'm so I don't miss these incredible [TS]

01:16:13   apologies China even your even you even [TS]

01:16:15   you are susceptible to this training [TS]

01:16:17   it's astounding it happens it happens on [TS]

01:16:20   a daily basis and none of us are [TS]

01:16:21   conscious of how much we have been [TS]

01:16:23   trained by us by a stupid world to just [TS]

01:16:26   be like new to be 22 to be complicit [TS]

01:16:31   hmm rather than two rather than to ever [TS]

01:16:35   use our own brains is there anything [TS]

01:16:37   that just blue sky is there anything [TS]

01:16:39   that could happen in that bodega that [TS]

01:16:41   you could have some influence over i'm [TS]

01:16:42   not saying you have to go and buy it [TS]

01:16:43   outright [TS]

01:16:44   is there anything that could happen let [TS]

01:16:45   it begin with you is there anything in [TS]

01:16:47   your name be that you could do to make [TS]

01:16:49   that bodega a place where you untrained [TS]

01:16:51   people from this kind of cultural [TS]

01:16:52   influence could you do something that [TS]

01:16:53   made it more and more muscular cultural [TS]

01:16:56   interface if you want to talk if you [TS]

01:16:58   want to talk about it in terms of like [TS]

01:17:00   what the what the capitalists what the [TS]

01:17:01   GOP capitalist would say is I should go [TS]

01:17:03   in there every day and said you have any [TS]

01:17:05   half-and-half until the guy finally gets [TS]

01:17:07   half and half for shit's you [TS]

01:17:08   well he's not gonna shoot me or he might [TS]

01:17:10   shoot me with his with his virtual video [TS]

01:17:14   game is phone works for you [TS]

01:17:16   yeah it's fun because you know what he [TS]

01:17:18   got some he got some kind of android [TS]

01:17:19   phone and it works fine but no I should [TS]

01:17:23   i get the the capitalist model is that [TS]

01:17:27   one enough people one half and half [TS]

01:17:29   they'll get happened [TS]

01:17:30   but it's been five years and as far as I [TS]

01:17:34   know they don't have half and half the [TS]

01:17:35   night as far as i know nothing has [TS]

01:17:36   changed [TS]

01:17:37   um so do i I mean is it enough [TS]

01:17:41   doesn't matter enough to me that I get [TS]

01:17:44   half and half two blocks away instead of [TS]

01:17:45   15 blocks away [TS]

01:17:46   they're not enough yeah but you know [TS]

01:17:48   that I think sometimes sometimes a [TS]

01:17:51   bodega is more than just a bodega [TS]

01:17:53   because in this case you are in that [TS]

01:17:55   you're in literature Harbinger it's a [TS]

01:17:57   harbinger in the of the in the nexus of [TS]

01:18:00   cultural diversity it seems to me that [TS]

01:18:02   you are at a potentially retail [TS]

01:18:04   inflection point for making for [TS]

01:18:06   effecting a lot of change [TS]

01:18:07   well in this in this particular [TS]

01:18:09   neighborhood i am the diversity i am the [TS]

01:18:12   only one who wants half and half at this [TS]

01:18:14   grocery store apparently there's my [TS]

01:18:16   parade [TS]

01:18:17   haha it's hard it's so hard to be white [TS]