Roderick on the Line

00:00:00 ◼   ► this episode of Roderick on the line is [TS]

00:00:02 ◼   ► sponsored by Squarespace the all-in-one [TS]

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00:00:13 ◼   ► supertrain at checkout a better web [TS]

00:00:16 ◼   ► starts with your website as you do [TS]

00:00:18 ◼   ► [Music] [TS]

00:00:24 ◼   ► hello hi John hi Merlin has it going [TS]

00:00:28 ◼   ► pretty good although I reached up to [TS]

00:00:31 ◼   ► click on the answer button on on the [TS]

00:00:35 ◼   ► skype who and I accidentally clicked the [TS]

00:00:40 ◼   ► button that said software updates are [TS]

00:00:42 ◼   ► available for your computer would you [TS]

00:00:43 ◼   ► like to download them now [TS]

00:00:45 ◼   ► oh and i clicked on yes apparently out [TS]

00:00:48 ◼   ► here [TS]

00:00:49 ◼   ► you don't know that and the thing [TS]

00:00:51 ◼   ► started to like started to work and I [TS]

00:00:54 ◼   ► was like no no no I don't want that and [TS]

00:00:56 ◼   ► i looked at and but the X button now [TS]

00:00:59 ◼   ► shaded out I couldn't click on it and [TS]

00:01:01 ◼   ► there was no canceling wasn't an option [TS]

00:01:03 ◼   ► anymore and so something right now is [TS]

00:01:06 ◼   ► working behind the scenes on my computer [TS]

00:01:07 ◼   ► to update my software which I do not [TS]

00:01:10 ◼   ► want we do an open a support ticket for [TS]

00:01:13 ◼   ► you think so I using gonna send a report [TS]

00:01:19 ◼   ► to apple windows pc or apple macintosh [TS]

00:01:21 ◼   ► haha i don't even remember i stopped [TS]

00:01:26 ◼   ► updating back before there was a [TS]

00:01:28 ◼   ► difference [TS]

00:01:29 ◼   ► babyface respondents have you tried [TS]

00:01:33 ◼   ► restarting i wanna i would unplug the [TS]

00:01:37 ◼   ► machine from the wall [TS]

00:01:38 ◼   ► thank you enough have you tried running [TS]

00:01:41 ◼   ► the diagnostic mmm my favorite of all [TS]

00:01:45 ◼   ► the program plastic diagnostic indicates [TS]

00:01:48 ◼   ► that it is not work [TS]

00:01:49 ◼   ► diagnostic cannot connect your good [TS]

00:01:52 ◼   ► cannot connect your computer to the [TS]

00:01:53 ◼   ► internet Thank You back cause that's how [TS]

00:01:55 ◼   ► I feel that's how I feel with lots of [TS]

00:01:58 ◼   ► things I was about to say as how i would [TS]

00:02:00 ◼   ► feel like if the the electric power went [TS]

00:02:01 ◼   ► out and then there was a diagnostic base [TS]

00:02:04 ◼   ► that required electric power to tell me [TS]

00:02:05 ◼   ► whether the power was on my favorite 1i [TS]

00:02:08 ◼   ► think i mention this before because you [TS]

00:02:10 ◼   ► know John this is an evergreen program [TS]

00:02:12 ◼   ► we've done this for for many years now [TS]

00:02:13 ◼   ► but uh listen to me episode anytime my [TS]

00:02:16 ◼   ► favorite is when my comcast connection [TS]

00:02:20 ◼   ► goes from being merely a piece of human [TS]

00:02:22 ◼   ► shit to obviously not working and i can [TS]

00:02:25 ◼   ► look at a glance over the motor and see [TS]

00:02:26 ◼   ► that the right lights are not on [TS]

00:02:28 ◼   ► something is wrong i restarted i do the [TS]

00:02:29 ◼   ► rain dance and my favorite though is [TS]

00:02:32 ◼   ► that when I have to determine why it's [TS]

00:02:34 ◼   ► out and so you call comcast [TS]

00:02:37 ◼   ► and they tell you to go to the website [TS]

00:02:38 ◼   ► right that's my favorite [TS]

00:02:41 ◼   ► yeah that's nice they're smart although [TS]

00:02:43 ◼   ► i met your comcast guy i used certainly [TS]

00:02:46 ◼   ► did isn't he a gem is a very nice man i [TS]

00:02:49 ◼   ► was in Colorado mi was alice is a wonder [TS]

00:02:52 ◼   ► i forgot about this this is a wonderful [TS]

00:02:54 ◼   ► story [TS]

00:02:55 ◼   ► well it's a story no uh-uh wonderful and [TS]

00:02:59 ◼   ► it has your panties or something don't [TS]

00:03:01 ◼   ► know the reason that I the reason that i [TS]

00:03:04 ◼   ► was in that situation is I went you know [TS]

00:03:05 ◼   ► I went I went to the conference on world [TS]

00:03:08 ◼   ► affairs just this first time for the [TS]

00:03:10 ◼   ► first time you know justjust a earlier [TS]

00:03:12 ◼   ► this year and I had a great time at the [TS]

00:03:15 ◼   ► conference on world affairs it's wet and [TS]

00:03:17 ◼   ► just as I predicted as as I'm getting [TS]

00:03:19 ◼   ► further and further away from it i'm [TS]

00:03:21 ◼   ► remembering it as being a spectacular [TS]

00:03:23 ◼   ► event that I would you know I would [TS]

00:03:25 ◼   ► highly recommend but the but the one the [TS]

00:03:29 ◼   ► one bomber was that I was they had me on [TS]

00:03:32 ◼   ► there they had me in in their system I [TS]

00:03:36 ◼   ► guess on their radar as a musician [TS]

00:03:38 ◼   ► primarily although the people who [TS]

00:03:41 ◼   ► invited me that the people really who [TS]

00:03:43 ◼   ► invited me to come I think understood [TS]

00:03:46 ◼   ► that I was there as a I guess podcaster [TS]

00:03:50 ◼   ► but the music just keeps getting worse [TS]

00:03:53 ◼   ► doesn't doesn't doesn't doesn't make you [TS]

00:03:56 ◼   ► miss attributed and find out miss [TS]

00:03:58 ◼   ► attributed as as as a musician first [TS]

00:04:01 ◼   ► instead of being a potential retired [TS]

00:04:03 ◼   ► director of the CIA is bad enough right [TS]

00:04:06 ◼   ► that is what I should have been there as [TS]

00:04:08 ◼   ► we don't even have a slot in Excel for [TS]

00:04:10 ◼   ► podcaster yeah and I all week long i'm [TS]

00:04:13 ◼   ► talking to 70 year olds and I'm like [TS]

00:04:14 ◼   ► podcast they're like podcast but so I [TS]

00:04:20 ◼   ► went to the big the big music [TS]

00:04:21 ◼   ► performance and they were like you got [TS]

00:04:23 ◼   ► to get up and play with all the other [TS]

00:04:24 ◼   ► musicians take a load out man you know i [TS]

00:04:28 ◼   ► have i told you this story I don't want [TS]

00:04:29 ◼   ► to rely totally want to hear hear all [TS]

00:04:31 ◼   ► these stories are you what was it was an [TS]

00:04:34 ◼   ► acoustic guitar that wasn't plugged in [TS]

00:04:36 ◼   ► thrust into your hands [TS]

00:04:37 ◼   ► no it was it was a thousand times worse [TS]

00:04:40 ◼   ► you know every so all the other [TS]

00:04:42 ◼   ► musicians that go to this they go to [TS]

00:04:44 ◼   ► this conference [TS]

00:04:46 ◼   ► are like middle-aged jazz musicians some [TS]

00:04:51 ◼   ► of them old jazz musicians some of them [TS]

00:04:53 ◼   ► like properly old musicians who have [TS]

00:04:56 ◼   ► played the newport jazz festival that [TS]

00:04:59 ◼   ► progressions have a to coordinate for 40 [TS]

00:05:01 ◼   ► years well you know that they have [TS]

00:05:03 ◼   ► progressions on top of progressions and [TS]

00:05:05 ◼   ► progression separate aggressions and [TS]

00:05:08 ◼   ► they're like no no it's just a simple [TS]

00:05:10 ◼   ► jam nobody knows the stuff we just all [TS]

00:05:12 ◼   ► get up there and jam and I was like yeah [TS]

00:05:15 ◼   ► not my that's not my scene [TS]

00:05:17 ◼   ► I don't do that very well like i like to [TS]

00:05:20 ◼   ► jam share nanak yes no I'm saying it [TS]

00:05:25 ◼   ► doesn't like that would be you you're [TS]

00:05:26 ◼   ► gonna be your yourse captain would be [TS]

00:05:28 ◼   ► going out looking real 18 minutes to get [TS]

00:05:31 ◼   ► it is not walk up and grab the [TS]

00:05:33 ◼   ► microphone ago [TS]

00:05:34 ◼   ► have I told you this story but uh but [TS]

00:05:37 ◼   ► but so everybody's like they're all like [TS]

00:05:40 ◼   ► super jazzed their cats you know these [TS]

00:05:42 ◼   ► get these people are jazz cats and and [TS]

00:05:46 ◼   ► throughout the whole week i keep saying [TS]

00:05:48 ◼   ► like I'm not really a hammer I mean if [TS]

00:05:51 ◼   ► there was like a half-rack Astros and we [TS]

00:05:53 ◼   ► were in the basement of somebody's house [TS]

00:05:55 ◼   ► yeah i would jam but i don't know i [TS]

00:06:00 ◼   ► don't get up and I don't get up on a [TS]

00:06:02 ◼   ► stage with 25 people and like unless [TS]

00:06:04 ◼   ► unless we're doing unless its extended [TS]

00:06:08 ◼   ► bringing on the heartbreak 12 yeah [TS]

00:06:10 ◼   ► exactly bringing on the heartbreak like [TS]

00:06:11 ◼   ► and everybody takes a solo that's fun [TS]

00:06:13 ◼   ► anyway so I'm standing on the wings of [TS]

00:06:15 ◼   ► this place and they have rented a [TS]

00:06:17 ◼   ► Stratocaster for me and there's an amp [TS]

00:06:21 ◼   ► and I'm like I'm I'm all set up [TS]

00:06:26 ◼   ► I like i say that there's a spot for me [TS]

00:06:28 ◼   ► on this on this stage where there's 18 [TS]

00:06:31 ◼   ► other players and they are let's see [TS]

00:06:35 ◼   ► there's two sacks opponents to other [TS]

00:06:37 ◼   ► guitarists like two bass players that [TS]

00:06:40 ◼   ► guy playing the google horn a3 like yes [TS]

00:06:45 ◼   ► cat vocalists [TS]

00:06:47 ◼   ► a couple of drummers one of them from [TS]

00:06:49 ◼   ► Israel you know it that people from all [TS]

00:06:54 ◼   ► around the world and they're out there [TS]

00:06:55 ◼   ► playing basically the theme from taxi [TS]

00:07:00 ◼   ► she's out there playing that that smooth [TS]

00:07:04 ◼   ► jazz is it like mid-tempo this tempo [TS]

00:07:06 ◼   ► says cool jazz that that i'm sure in the [TS]

00:07:11 ◼   ► late sixties her mid sixties was heavy [TS]

00:07:14 ◼   ► duty shit but even by the late seventies [TS]

00:07:18 ◼   ► it had you know I just kept seeing a [TS]

00:07:21 ◼   ► stephen j cannell e production you know [TS]

00:07:25 ◼   ► likes it loose it it was it was it was [TS]

00:07:31 ◼   ► music that i could not comprehend [TS]

00:07:33 ◼   ► listening to let alone making and that's [TS]

00:07:37 ◼   ► not to say that there was an amazing but [TS]

00:07:40 ◼   ► not a thing that I could that I could [TS]

00:07:43 ◼   ► gain any traction on and so I walked out [TS]

00:07:45 ◼   ► onstage at some point at being pressured [TS]

00:07:48 ◼   ► backstage by people pressure in the [TS]

00:07:50 ◼   ► friendliest way but by someone holding a [TS]

00:07:53 ◼   ► clipboard was like you gotta get out [TS]

00:07:55 ◼   ► there this is part of the spirit of the [TS]

00:07:57 ◼   ► convention you know the part of the [TS]

00:07:59 ◼   ► spirit of the of the whole week that we [TS]

00:08:02 ◼   ► get out and we just take risks and we [TS]

00:08:05 ◼   ► just go for it and I want to walk out [TS]

00:08:08 ◼   ► onstage and I get this stratocaster and [TS]

00:08:10 ◼   ► the bandleader guy is the trumpet player [TS]

00:08:13 ◼   ► and he looks mean he's like alright [TS]

00:08:14 ◼   ► we're going to do something real simple [TS]

00:08:16 ◼   ► like just a you know for bar blues and [TS]

00:08:18 ◼   ► I'm like yeah okay for bar blues i can i [TS]

00:08:21 ◼   ► can find some way to dig into this and [TS]

00:08:25 ◼   ► the creatures running like a boob at the [TS]

00:08:28 ◼   ► dam and the band starts a little talk [TS]

00:08:33 ◼   ► about our stuff better and I'm just like [TS]

00:08:38 ◼   ► what the fuck is this [TS]

00:08:41 ◼   ► this is not a four bar blues in any [TS]

00:08:43 ◼   ► world I live in and i'm sitting on the [TS]

00:08:45 ◼   ► guitar and I'm just trying to find the [TS]

00:08:47 ◼   ► route and yet but I even like its it i [TS]

00:08:50 ◼   ► don't know what kids and no no no I [TS]

00:08:52 ◼   ► think the guy shouted over to the piano [TS]

00:08:53 ◼   ► player right before he's like are we [TS]

00:08:55 ◼   ► going to real simple for Blue's gonna be [TS]

00:08:57 ◼   ► just fine and it looks over the piano [TS]

00:08:59 ◼   ► player whose blood [TS]

00:09:00 ◼   ► and I can says what you know one key and [TS]

00:09:06 ◼   ► the piano plays like leaves it up to the [TS]

00:09:08 ◼   ► piano player he doesn't he should have [TS]

00:09:10 ◼   ► looked at me and I would've been de [TS]

00:09:11 ◼   ► pleasey pleasey you looking to get a [TS]

00:09:14 ◼   ► player piano players like I don't know [TS]

00:09:16 ◼   ► b-flat minor and they're like yeah I'm [TS]

00:09:20 ◼   ► like b-flat minor I don't even my guitar [TS]

00:09:22 ◼   ► doesn't even have that and so I'm [TS]

00:09:25 ◼   ► sitting up there and I'm I'm just [TS]

00:09:27 ◼   ► hunting and I can hear I mean it's fully [TS]

00:09:31 ◼   ► jazz because every note i play is so far [TS]

00:09:34 ◼   ► out its like the hippest note in James [TS]

00:09:37 ◼   ► because these guys are just and that the [TS]

00:09:39 ◼   ► reality is that none of them do know [TS]

00:09:41 ◼   ► what they're doing in advance it's just [TS]

00:09:44 ◼   ► a their musical language enables them to [TS]

00:09:47 ◼   ► like hear the progression go by the only [TS]

00:09:51 ◼   ► thing about they think about music so [TS]

00:09:53 ◼   ► differently than we do think they might [TS]

00:09:54 ◼   ► study theory really really hard for [TS]

00:09:56 ◼   ► years until they never really have to [TS]

00:09:58 ◼   ► consciously they can explain something [TS]

00:10:00 ◼   ► with theory i don't think they think in [TS]

00:10:02 ◼   ► theory no whereas with us you have to go [TS]

00:10:04 ◼   ► like okay 12 45 or something like that [TS]

00:10:06 ◼   ► yeah i think every once in a while a guy [TS]

00:10:08 ◼   ► you know there's like there's music [TS]

00:10:09 ◼   ► stands around and there there's like [TS]

00:10:11 ◼   ► stuff on the music stands but it's one [TS]

00:10:15 ◼   ► piece of paper that has 80,000 notes on [TS]

00:10:21 ◼   ► and so everything's swell guy would [TS]

00:10:24 ◼   ► point out a piece of paper like hey [TS]

00:10:25 ◼   ► there it is right there [TS]

00:10:27 ◼   ► didn't you see it and you know I look [TS]

00:10:29 ◼   ► over at it and it's like it's like a [TS]

00:10:31 ◼   ► Rorschach test [TS]

00:10:32 ◼   ► that's what a guy John it sounds like a [TS]

00:10:34 ◼   ► dream a nightmare it sounds like one of [TS]

00:10:36 ◼   ► those like I woke up with no pants on [TS]

00:10:38 ◼   ► the day of the math final [TS]

00:10:39 ◼   ► so I'm standing and the only other thing [TS]

00:10:40 ◼   ► is I'm right in the middle of the stage [TS]

00:10:42 ◼   ► by conspicuously walked out into the [TS]

00:10:46 ◼   ► middle of the room because that's where [TS]

00:10:47 ◼   ► my stuff was oh the best part was I had [TS]

00:10:50 ◼   ► sound checked this guitar and amp i [TS]

00:10:54 ◼   ► showed up but I showed up at five when [TS]

00:10:55 ◼   ► they said like soundcheck starts no one [TS]

00:10:57 ◼   ► else is there except for the sound guy [TS]

00:11:00 ◼   ► and I show up and I'm like a I'm here [TS]

00:11:02 ◼   ► for the soundtrack and he's like yeah [TS]

00:11:03 ◼   ► nobody else is here but they rented you [TS]

00:11:06 ◼   ► a guitar an amp and so I stand on the [TS]

00:11:09 ◼   ► stage and I strumming my guitar and do a [TS]

00:11:12 ◼   ► sound check [TS]

00:11:13 ◼   ► and I actually check a vocal mic and i'm [TS]

00:11:17 ◼   ► thinking i don't know maybe you know [TS]

00:11:18 ◼   ► maybe they'll be like hey play one of [TS]

00:11:20 ◼   ► your songs and all the saxophone players [TS]

00:11:22 ◼   ► like that will play cinnamon together or [TS]

00:11:25 ◼   ► something so I check this rig and then [TS]

00:11:29 ◼   ► i'm waiting around and I'm like well you [TS]

00:11:31 ◼   ► think anybody else is gonna come he's [TS]

00:11:33 ◼   ► like you know jazz guys they'll probably [TS]

00:11:35 ◼   ► just show up right before the show like [TS]

00:11:38 ◼   ► oh alright well I you know I guess i'll [TS]

00:11:40 ◼   ► go for a walk i'll come back we think [TS]

00:11:43 ◼   ► you might do a run through some Yeah [TS]

00:11:44 ◼   ► Yeah right like outlets it's 24 bar [TS]

00:11:46 ◼   ► blues let's picky so I come back and the [TS]

00:11:50 ◼   ► guitar is out there while I walk out [TS]

00:11:51 ◼   ► onstage you know it's the middle of the [TS]

00:11:54 ◼   ► show you could trending toward the [TS]

00:11:57 ◼   ► finale I walk out onstage and one of the [TS]

00:12:02 ◼   ► other guitar players who is from [TS]

00:12:04 ◼   ► Argentina or from Antarctica or [TS]

00:12:07 ◼   ► something is plugged into my rig and I [TS]

00:12:12 ◼   ► was like oh i was gonna and he's like oh [TS]

00:12:15 ◼   ► i just plugged into that because it was [TS]

00:12:17 ◼   ► because it was here I was like ride [TS]

00:12:20 ◼   ► right i mean i would ya [TS]

00:12:22 ◼   ► and we're trying to transact this on us [TS]

00:12:26 ◼   ► on a live stage while people are like [TS]

00:12:27 ◼   ► talking about that you know like hey [TS]

00:12:29 ◼   ► welcome to the stage it's the guy and so [TS]

00:12:32 ◼   ► the other guitar player says well you [TS]

00:12:35 ◼   ► know what man I played a lot tonight any [TS]

00:12:37 ◼   ► unplugs and hands me the cable and walks [TS]

00:12:41 ◼   ► off the stage [TS]

00:12:41 ◼   ► he was the one guy that I was going to [TS]

00:12:45 ◼   ► be able to look at his instrument and [TS]

00:12:47 ◼   ► tell one fucking note we were playing [TS]

00:12:49 ◼   ► because the other guitar player went [TS]

00:12:52 ◼   ► over put his guitar down and went over [TS]

00:12:54 ◼   ► and started playing the bass playing the [TS]

00:12:56 ◼   ► bass facing the piano player like he put [TS]

00:13:00 ◼   ► he put the base on himself turned with [TS]

00:13:02 ◼   ► his back to me so that he could look at [TS]

00:13:04 ◼   ► the piano player and like jam piano [TS]

00:13:07 ◼   ► player couldn't look back but like and [TS]

00:13:10 ◼   ► so I'm standing on stage this point [TS]

00:13:13 ◼   ► there's 20 people and not one stringed [TS]

00:13:15 ◼   ► instrument except except maybe a violin [TS]

00:13:18 ◼   ► but like not a thing that i could look [TS]

00:13:20 ◼   ► at anybody and say like hey show me like [TS]

00:13:22 ◼   ► you're fretting hand so I can like at [TS]

00:13:24 ◼   ► least know [TS]

00:13:25 ◼   ► what quadrant of the guitar work anyway [TS]

00:13:29 ◼   ► so about 45 seconds of hunting for notes [TS]

00:13:33 ◼   ► and I said and this and at this point [TS]

00:13:38 ◼   ► it's just flop sweat pouring down and [TS]

00:13:41 ◼   ► I'm standing there and inside my head [TS]

00:13:44 ◼   ► this voice is going you fucking idiot [TS]

00:13:46 ◼   ► you knew you never should've walked out [TS]

00:13:48 ◼   ► on this date you never ever you should [TS]

00:13:50 ◼   ► have said you should have you should [TS]

00:13:51 ◼   ► have hit your hand with a hammer before [TS]

00:13:55 ◼   ► walking out on the stage and so I turned [TS]

00:13:58 ◼   ► the guitar i took turn the volume not [TS]

00:14:00 ◼   ► completely off got a big smile on my [TS]

00:14:04 ◼   ► face took a step forward and started [TS]

00:14:07 ◼   ► just strumming the shit out of the [TS]

00:14:08 ◼   ► things like yeah sappy dat bone bargains [TS]

00:14:12 ◼   ► a bargain Bobby did about of a hand by [TS]

00:14:16 ◼   ► the trumpet player looks over and like [TS]

00:14:19 ◼   ► points to me like take a solo [TS]

00:14:22 ◼   ► Oh God and I waved him off like like he [TS]

00:14:26 ◼   ► had just said pitch fastball that was [TS]

00:14:29 ◼   ► like no sir thank you big smile like [TS]

00:14:32 ◼   ► thank you know well hot and it moved on [TS]

00:14:37 ◼   ► you know he's just like got off me and [TS]

00:14:39 ◼   ► went to the next guy and you know the [TS]

00:14:41 ◼   ► next guy took like a tambourine solo for [TS]

00:14:42 ◼   ► 20 minutes and so I was just up there [TS]

00:14:46 ◼   ► just just chicken pickin and cooking on [TS]

00:14:49 ◼   ► my completely off guitar that's that you [TS]

00:14:53 ◼   ► did exactly the right thing [TS]

00:14:55 ◼   ► yeah yeah it was the only thing i could [TS]

00:14:57 ◼   ► do and it's best for the audience to and [TS]

00:14:59 ◼   ► ever nobody in the room could tell or [TS]

00:15:01 ◼   ► gave a shit except you know I think [TS]

00:15:03 ◼   ► there were a couple people there who [TS]

00:15:05 ◼   ► came to see me or were us were like [TS]

00:15:07 ◼   ► aware that I was playing and talk to [TS]

00:15:12 ◼   ► them afterwards and they were both like [TS]

00:15:14 ◼   ► that was great i mean i can really hear [TS]

00:15:15 ◼   ► you but it was really you know seems [TS]

00:15:17 ◼   ► like a lot of music was getting made and [TS]

00:15:19 ◼   ► and if I had just walked out not even [TS]

00:15:21 ◼   ► bother plugging in a guitar and had just [TS]

00:15:23 ◼   ► like to pop up anyway so this that the [TS]

00:15:29 ◼   ► show is over and i put the guitar down [TS]

00:15:31 ◼   ► like I think I put the guitar down by [TS]

00:15:34 ◼   ► the door on my way out of the stage door [TS]

00:15:36 ◼   ► like [TS]

00:15:37 ◼   ► I'm not hanging around here I'm not [TS]

00:15:40 ◼   ► gonna have a cup of tea after the show I [TS]

00:15:42 ◼   ► am out because I was just I was i think [TS]

00:15:46 ◼   ► i was frustrated and so many times in my [TS]

00:15:49 ◼   ► life I have been in that exact situation [TS]

00:15:54 ◼   ► enough to have learned it will not it's [TS]

00:15:58 ◼   ► never gonna play and yet hope springs [TS]

00:16:05 ◼   ► eternal and that other voice the [TS]

00:16:09 ◼   ► competing voice that says be [TS]

00:16:12 ◼   ► experimental just get up there and just [TS]

00:16:14 ◼   ► do it what happens at tonight's the [TS]

00:16:16 ◼   ► night you know what if what if it all of [TS]

00:16:19 ◼   ► the stars align and it's amazing and [TS]

00:16:21 ◼   ► you're going to feel like an idiot if [TS]

00:16:23 ◼   ► you're if you say no I'd better not do [TS]

00:16:26 ◼   ► it and then the the last song they do is [TS]

00:16:28 ◼   ► smoke on the water and and there's a [TS]

00:16:32 ◼   ► guitar can be flat there smoke on the [TS]

00:16:35 ◼   ► water and there's a guitar in the center [TS]

00:16:36 ◼   ► of the stage with a spotlight on it that [TS]

00:16:40 ◼   ► was meant for you and you didn't jump [TS]

00:16:42 ◼   ► out and and do it you're gonna feel like [TS]

00:16:44 ◼   ► an idiot you know that other voice [TS]

00:16:45 ◼   ► that's like what's the matter take you [TS]

00:16:48 ◼   ► know take a risk every once awhile goes [TS]

00:16:50 ◼   ► for sure 10 super ego or whatever put [TS]

00:16:53 ◼   ► you in the right place which I mean it [TS]

00:16:54 ◼   ► as an outsider looking in [TS]

00:16:56 ◼   ► I mean that's not your show right and [TS]

00:16:58 ◼   ► those are the grown-ups the grown-ups [TS]

00:17:00 ◼   ► are doing like their thing this is not [TS]

00:17:01 ◼   ► your thing and you're a gentleman about [TS]

00:17:03 ◼   ► doing it but that's the thing is if you [TS]

00:17:05 ◼   ► were the star of that show if it was a [TS]

00:17:07 ◼   ► John Roderick review and you had that [TS]

00:17:09 ◼   ► maybe even it was the same setup you can [TS]

00:17:11 ◼   ► find some way to go to the mic and do [TS]

00:17:13 ◼   ► something fun and entertaining that you [TS]

00:17:15 ◼   ► knew your audience would enjoy but [TS]

00:17:16 ◼   ► almost anything you would have done I'm [TS]

00:17:18 ◼   ► not being negative I'm just being honest [TS]

00:17:20 ◼   ► almost anything you would have done [TS]

00:17:21 ◼   ► would have been disruptive and stupid [TS]

00:17:23 ◼   ► absolutely that's the thing if I had [TS]

00:17:25 ◼   ► said if i walk out there and said and [TS]

00:17:27 ◼   ► now I'd like to take down a little bit [TS]

00:17:30 ◼   ► and play you a little song of mine [TS]

00:17:32 ◼   ► called hindsight it would you know like [TS]

00:17:36 ◼   ► it would have been flabbergasting and [TS]

00:17:39 ◼   ► train wreck or just the worst and so I [TS]

00:17:44 ◼   ► mean the ER right now the only thing I [TS]

00:17:46 ◼   ► could have done is walk out and say [TS]

00:17:48 ◼   ► ok I'm here now and so blues in e right [TS]

00:17:54 ◼   ► but I was the junior partner by a factor [TS]

00:18:00 ◼   ► of fifteen you know like I think the [TS]

00:18:02 ◼   ► piano player with 75 and a lot of these [TS]

00:18:05 ◼   ► people maybe they hadn't played together [TS]

00:18:08 ◼   ► but they had played they all heard of [TS]

00:18:11 ◼   ► one another you know like these are [TS]

00:18:13 ◼   ► people who are giggling in a different [TS]

00:18:14 ◼   ► realm and so anyway I walk out the back [TS]

00:18:20 ◼   ► door the theater and I'm just like I'm [TS]

00:18:22 ◼   ► still flop sweaty and I'm and I'm I'm [TS]

00:18:24 ◼   ► having this argument with myself i'm [TS]

00:18:26 ◼   ► walking down the alleys of boulder going [TS]

00:18:29 ◼   ► like I idiot god why did you ever walk [TS]

00:18:33 ◼   ► on that stage [TS]

00:18:34 ◼   ► don't ever do it you know not to do it [TS]

00:18:36 ◼   ► single role as a pro I'm saying is the [TS]

00:18:40 ◼   ► progressive all of your friends name a [TS]

00:18:42 ◼   ► single one of them any one of your dudes [TS]

00:18:45 ◼   ► that does the same thing that you do [TS]

00:18:47 ◼   ► vanderslice Zhan gibbard would any of [TS]

00:18:52 ◼   ► them have agreed to go out onstage and [TS]

00:18:55 ◼   ► under those conditions no not a one of [TS]

00:18:58 ◼   ► them one of you know they would have [TS]

00:18:59 ◼   ► said they would have said let's set up a [TS]

00:19:02 ◼   ► separate show that's more like a [TS]

00:19:03 ◼   ► songwriter night at one of the bars and [TS]

00:19:07 ◼   ► I'll play a little set of songs and I [TS]

00:19:09 ◼   ► mean I think they actually tried to do [TS]

00:19:10 ◼   ► that and I shot it down but nobody would [TS]

00:19:14 ◼   ► have gotten up on a stage full of jazz [TS]

00:19:16 ◼   ► musicians and and try to like comp along [TS]

00:19:19 ◼   ► and so I'm kicking myself and I'm mad [TS]

00:19:21 ◼   ► and I'm just upset that I'm sitting on a [TS]

00:19:22 ◼   ► park bench and I'm like soccer guy and [TS]

00:19:27 ◼   ► so I do what I do [TS]

00:19:30 ◼   ► what is naturally the thing in that [TS]

00:19:33 ◼   ► situation which is I go on Twitter and I [TS]

00:19:36 ◼   ► say tweetup i'm sitting on a park bench [TS]

00:19:41 ◼   ► in boulder for the next 40 minutes [TS]

00:19:42 ◼   ► taking myself if anybody wants to come [TS]

00:19:46 ◼   ► say hi [TS]

00:19:48 ◼   ► wow I don't know why I did that I never [TS]

00:19:51 ◼   ► do I never tweet up but I was just [TS]

00:19:53 ◼   ► sitting out there and I was like I've [TS]

00:19:55 ◼   ► got to get out of my head I gotta get [TS]

00:19:56 ◼   ► out of this head space because it's you [TS]

00:19:58 ◼   ► know i'm i'm turning sour [TS]

00:20:00 ◼   ► about a thing that doesn't really matter [TS]

00:20:02 ◼   ► turning sour about a thing that actually [TS]

00:20:04 ◼   ► worked out just fine and I need to just [TS]

00:20:07 ◼   ► I don't know anybody in this town and I [TS]

00:20:10 ◼   ► need to just like get out of get out of [TS]

00:20:12 ◼   ► this i need to turn tonight around and [TS]

00:20:14 ◼   ► turn the ball around and so I said you [TS]

00:20:17 ◼   ► know tweetup and within about 10 or 15 [TS]

00:20:22 ◼   ► minutes to people showed up [TS]

00:20:23 ◼   ► Wow one of them was you're a good friend [TS]

00:20:28 ◼   ► Jason that's right [TS]

00:20:30 ◼   ► no last names no last names beginning [TS]

00:20:33 ◼   ► with company because of the italian [TS]

00:20:35 ◼   ► persuasion blue and he is moving to the [TS]

00:20:39 ◼   ► west didn't know if you do that anyway [TS]

00:20:43 ◼   ► shows up he's delightful than a young [TS]

00:20:46 ◼   ► woman shows up she's delightful we're [TS]

00:20:49 ◼   ► all meeting for the first time and then [TS]

00:20:51 ◼   ► as we're sitting on the park bench [TS]

00:20:53 ◼   ► talking car goes by and as it goes by [TS]

00:20:56 ◼   ► the rear tire comes off I mean the rear [TS]

00:20:59 ◼   ► wheel comes off and the car like its [TS]

00:21:02 ◼   ► lands on its axle and start scraping a [TS]

00:21:05 ◼   ► big lincoln continental and so then then [TS]

00:21:08 ◼   ► of course that attracts all the Juggalos [TS]

00:21:10 ◼   ► that hang out downtown because there's [TS]

00:21:12 ◼   ► like flames and the cops are there any [TS]

00:21:15 ◼   ► the let's look for it [TS]

00:21:16 ◼   ► please do as soon as you're scraping [TS]

00:21:18 ◼   ► metal on metal the Juggalos come out of [TS]

00:21:20 ◼   ► all the doorways so it ended up being a [TS]

00:21:24 ◼   ► very positive night and it was just [TS]

00:21:26 ◼   ► pulled that out of your ass but now just [TS]

00:21:28 ◼   ► the image of several dozen people in [TS]

00:21:31 ◼   ► makeup like looking a little tentative [TS]

00:21:33 ◼   ► at first look like kind of Raccoon [TS]

00:21:35 ◼   ► looking around your way then [TS]

00:21:37 ◼   ► like a moth to LA yeah they're just like [TS]

00:21:40 ◼   ► what is that something is that scraping [TS]

00:21:42 ◼   ► their little heads poking around the [TS]

00:21:44 ◼   ► doors i can i can i can be free like [TS]

00:21:47 ◼   ► fire so but it was it was it was a case [TS]

00:21:50 ◼   ► of by the end of that night when I was [TS]

00:21:53 ◼   ► finally walking home I felt there I felt [TS]

00:21:55 ◼   ► very light [TS]

00:21:56 ◼   ► I felt very I felt that all was right [TS]

00:21:59 ◼   ► with the world and i think it was that I [TS]

00:22:02 ◼   ► reached out who reached out to humanity [TS]

00:22:06 ◼   ► and said now I think it was taking a [TS]

00:22:08 ◼   ► risk if I had said I've had said I'm [TS]

00:22:10 ◼   ► gonna be sitting on a park bench for 40 [TS]

00:22:12 ◼   ► minutes and and I just heard crickets it [TS]

00:22:16 ◼   ► was just me watching the Juggalos I [TS]

00:22:18 ◼   ► would have been even more bummed out but [TS]

00:22:20 ◼   ► two wonderful people showed up out of [TS]

00:22:22 ◼   ► the gloom and it was great [TS]

00:22:27 ◼   ► yeah it's not like the nature of your [TS]

00:22:29 ◼   ► frustration i will be obviously the the [TS]

00:22:33 ◼   ► experience of going out there and you [TS]

00:22:35 ◼   ► know ue manned up and you did it but it [TS]

00:22:37 ◼   ► sounds like you're you're he said as [TS]

00:22:39 ◼   ► much that it's mainly it's the decision [TS]

00:22:41 ◼   ► to have gone out with the bad decision [TS]

00:22:43 ◼   ► yeah you save you saved it from being [TS]

00:22:46 ◼   ► something that was you know bad for the [TS]

00:22:48 ◼   ► audience and humiliating to the band why [TS]

00:22:50 ◼   ► not you know [TS]

00:22:51 ◼   ► noodling along but you think you should [TS]

00:22:53 ◼   ► have just said no thank you know the [TS]

00:22:54 ◼   ► it's a kind of like like at a certain [TS]

00:22:59 ◼   ► point of self-knowledge and I obviously [TS]

00:23:01 ◼   ► like I have certain insecurities about [TS]

00:23:05 ◼   ► not being like like almost any musician [TS]

00:23:08 ◼   ► would of not being up to whatever the [TS]

00:23:13 ◼   ► game is and a lot of these guys and when [TS]

00:23:16 ◼   ► I ended up on a on a on a panel a much [TS]

00:23:20 ◼   ► larger panel with some of these cats and [TS]

00:23:23 ◼   ► it came around to me and they're all [TS]

00:23:24 ◼   ► talking about like yeah man you know you [TS]

00:23:26 ◼   ► just get to play with people you just [TS]

00:23:27 ◼   ► tripped and it's amazing and zappity do [TS]

00:23:30 ◼   ► and it came to me and I said [TS]

00:23:32 ◼   ► unfortunately i come from a school of [TS]

00:23:35 ◼   ► thought that that spent a lot of time of [TS]

00:23:41 ◼   ► the spent many years really pretty [TS]

00:23:44 ◼   ► pretty solidly feeling like soloing [TS]

00:23:47 ◼   ► wasn't was an active egotism and even [TS]

00:23:52 ◼   ► colonialism like this the school of [TS]

00:23:56 ◼   ► music that I came up in nobody soloed [TS]

00:23:58 ◼   ► nobody took a solo at all only certainly [TS]

00:24:01 ◼   ► kind of like ironically ironic solos at [TS]

00:24:03 ◼   ► yes and those were intentionally bad or [TS]

00:24:06 ◼   ► intentionally like I mean basically [TS]

00:24:09 ◼   ► mocking and ends up men punk rock girl [TS]

00:24:11 ◼   ► kinda solo yeah like it deliberately [TS]

00:24:13 ◼   ► sort of like wackadoodle thing [TS]

00:24:15 ◼   ► well and you know my live shows often [TS]

00:24:18 ◼   ► have big solos then that I would love [TS]

00:24:22 ◼   ► that i would love to be playing [TS]

00:24:24 ◼   ► earnestly but for for a long time played [TS]

00:24:27 ◼   ► those big solos [TS]

00:24:29 ◼   ► ironically i confess that i did that was [TS]

00:24:32 ◼   ► the way that I that I was a lab that i [TS]

00:24:33 ◼   ► allowed myself to do it i mean my [TS]

00:24:35 ◼   ► bandmates would be sitting like openly [TS]

00:24:39 ◼   ► scoffing at me as i took my big comedy [TS]

00:24:43 ◼   ► rock soul and so you know i'm sitting on [TS]

00:24:49 ◼   ► this panel and I'm like unfortunately [TS]

00:24:51 ◼   ► for me I i come from a school where we [TS]

00:24:58 ◼   ► feel like soloing is a bourgeois who and [TS]

00:25:04 ◼   ► you can have the cats feel you could [TS]

00:25:06 ◼   ► hear a pin drop you know and of course [TS]

00:25:08 ◼   ► this is a this is a scene where it's a [TS]

00:25:10 ◼   ► multiracial group of musicians and like [TS]

00:25:14 ◼   ► jazz is the jazz is the path or whatever [TS]

00:25:17 ◼   ► and I'm sitting there saying that the [TS]

00:25:20 ◼   ► act of soloing is bourgeois and it's [TS]

00:25:25 ◼   ► just like okay I mean I felt like a [TS]

00:25:27 ◼   ► member of gang of four all the sudden [TS]

00:25:29 ◼   ► not the band rather the real anyway uh [TS]

00:25:35 ◼   ► so by the end of the week it was I had [TS]

00:25:39 ◼   ► come full circle right guy had made a [TS]

00:25:41 ◼   ► circle [TS]

00:25:42 ◼   ► it's not that I had come full circle but [TS]

00:25:43 ◼   ► I had at least traced back to the [TS]

00:25:46 ◼   ► beginning but the idea that you the idea [TS]

00:25:49 ◼   ► that you know what you are good at and [TS]

00:25:51 ◼   ► that you that you set limits about what [TS]

00:25:55 ◼   ► other people set limits about how you [TS]

00:25:58 ◼   ► will be pressured into like singing at [TS]

00:26:00 ◼   ► somebody's wedding or you know a long [TS]

00:26:03 ◼   ► time ago i said i don't do karaoke and [TS]

00:26:06 ◼   ► and yet if I'm at somebody's wedding and [TS]

00:26:09 ◼   ► they pay me a microphone ago come on [TS]

00:26:11 ◼   ► everybody's drunk you know i would i [TS]

00:26:12 ◼   ► would generally say no unless it was the [TS]

00:26:15 ◼   ► bride ask him but this was that but but [TS]

00:26:20 ◼   ► again you can't do that because there [TS]

00:26:21 ◼   ► are those moments where you say yes all [TS]

00:26:23 ◼   ► right i'll do it and it ends up being [TS]

00:26:25 ◼   ► the greatest night of your life so [TS]

00:26:27 ◼   ► it's it's just one of those like I think [TS]

00:26:30 ◼   ► it's it is just life in a nutshell what [TS]

00:26:33 ◼   ► you're describing something that I I've [TS]

00:26:35 ◼   ► really struggled with at a higher level [TS]

00:26:38 ◼   ► that gets either instances of this that [TS]

00:26:41 ◼   ► are specific to the kind of thing you're [TS]

00:26:42 ◼   ► talking about but you know you talk [TS]

00:26:44 ◼   ► about two very different things on the [TS]

00:26:45 ◼   ► one hand you know one of the myths of [TS]

00:26:49 ◼   ► getting married is that it's the bride's [TS]

00:26:51 ◼   ► day it is the bride's day the bright I [TS]

00:26:53 ◼   ► mean that is the Bride the bride a lot [TS]

00:26:55 ◼   ► of those women have been thinking about [TS]

00:26:56 ◼   ► that day the whole life and have real [TS]

00:26:58 ◼   ► particular ideas that should be honored [TS]

00:27:00 ◼   ► and we're all there you know but the [TS]

00:27:02 ◼   ► ones who actually in the machinery once [TS]

00:27:03 ◼   ► your arm is actually in the gears you [TS]

00:27:05 ◼   ► realize that it is all about other [TS]

00:27:07 ◼   ► people so you know what if the bride [TS]

00:27:08 ◼   ► wants you to sing a song that's a nice [TS]

00:27:10 ◼   ► thing and you can see doing that now you [TS]

00:27:12 ◼   ► put me straight straight down the memory [TS]

00:27:14 ◼   ► hole about a conference that my old [TS]

00:27:18 ◼   ► internet advertising group put on and [TS]

00:27:21 ◼   ► there was at the time a very powerful [TS]

00:27:22 ◼   ► group it was the kind of the boutique [TS]

00:27:24 ◼   ► like you know we were making see pm's [TS]

00:27:27 ◼   ► three four five times or anybody else is [TS]

00:27:29 ◼   ► making well it was sometimes big time to [TS]

00:27:32 ◼   ► time any time when our ads loaded it [TS]

00:27:34 ◼   ► made a ton more money than anybody else [TS]

00:27:36 ◼   ► can even touch this very prestigious and [TS]

00:27:38 ◼   ► and run by a very famous guy and and of [TS]

00:27:42 ◼   ► course they said no seriously what is [TS]

00:27:43 ◼   ► the CPM Oh cost per thousand views it's [TS]

00:27:48 ◼   ► just it's just a way of quantifying like [TS]

00:27:51 ◼   ► what you charge based on you know how [TS]

00:27:53 ◼   ► does thousand views equal em in [TS]

00:27:56 ◼   ► medication at em like a thousand i think [TS]

00:27:58 ◼   ► Oh cost per mil something like that cost [TS]

00:28:01 ◼   ► per meal but you know I went to this [TS]

00:28:04 ◼   ► thing I was very happy to be involved in [TS]

00:28:06 ◼   ► the group was a great moneymaker they're [TS]

00:28:07 ◼   ► great people is very like it was it was [TS]

00:28:09 ◼   ► nice to even be invited to be in the [TS]

00:28:11 ◼   ► group let alone be invited to say hey [TS]

00:28:13 ◼   ► you know a lot of our advertisers are [TS]

00:28:15 ◼   ► coming to this conference all the other [TS]

00:28:17 ◼   ► you know publishers are going to be [TS]

00:28:19 ◼   ► there but you know nothing against these [TS]

00:28:22 ◼   ► guys but like I one of the reasons i [TS]

00:28:24 ◼   ► ended up leaving this particular group [TS]

00:28:26 ◼   ► is because they were doing more and more [TS]

00:28:27 ◼   ► of what has now become completely ok [TS]

00:28:30 ◼   ► which is like having a post on your site [TS]

00:28:32 ◼   ► that sponsored by somebody or you know [TS]

00:28:36 ◼   ► and I actually kind of i gave way as you [TS]

00:28:39 ◼   ► say left a lot of money on the table [TS]

00:28:40 ◼   ► because I just couldn't do that anymore [TS]

00:28:42 ◼   ► and even like the one or two times I did [TS]

00:28:44 ◼   ► it I felt so dirty because that's just [TS]

00:28:46 ◼   ► I'm stupid and old and that's how my [TS]

00:28:48 ◼   ► mind works [TS]

00:28:48 ◼   ► I don't think that's right even today it [TS]

00:28:50 ◼   ► really irks me when I see sites where [TS]

00:28:53 ◼   ► especially if they don't announce its a [TS]

00:28:54 ◼   ► sponsored post like its any you know [TS]

00:28:56 ◼   ► what I mean right you know you know this [TS]

00:28:57 ◼   ► feeling of what I do you know hey here's [TS]

00:28:59 ◼   ► the deal you know if this car company [TS]

00:29:01 ◼   ► wants to use my song and add pay me [TS]

00:29:04 ◼   ► appropriately but nobody's ever going to [TS]

00:29:06 ◼   ► confuse this song with this car and [TS]

00:29:09 ◼   ► think that you know what I mean it's [TS]

00:29:10 ◼   ► theirs separate things by this t-shirt [TS]

00:29:12 ◼   ► you get a t-shirt I get money these are [TS]

00:29:13 ◼   ► clear transactions that make sense yeah [TS]

00:29:15 ◼   ► that's the thing but all that because [TS]

00:29:16 ◼   ► all those sites are purporting to be [TS]

00:29:18 ◼   ► also generating like content that is [TS]

00:29:22 ◼   ► independent or even journalistic that's [TS]

00:29:25 ◼   ► that's the word is in one reason a lot [TS]

00:29:27 ◼   ► of us really relish the rise of things [TS]

00:29:29 ◼   ► like blogs and now today podcast as a [TS]

00:29:31 ◼   ► thing was that you got to make you know [TS]

00:29:33 ◼   ► you were always I always find myself [TS]

00:29:35 ◼   ► calling up Jonathan Coulton but he's no [TS]

00:29:36 ◼   ► longer unique in this regard somebody in [TS]

00:29:39 ◼   ► the way I phrased to Jonathan you know [TS]

00:29:40 ◼   ► when we very first met I said what I [TS]

00:29:42 ◼   ► admire about you is that you're [TS]

00:29:44 ◼   ► circumspect about who's allowed to fuck [TS]

00:29:45 ◼   ► your shit up for almost no money and [TS]

00:29:47 ◼   ► I've always been there since I still got [TS]

00:29:49 ◼   ► a little smarter about this i would get [TS]

00:29:51 ◼   ► i would start to feel from a monetary [TS]

00:29:53 ◼   ► standpoint like don't just let people to [TS]

00:29:56 ◼   ► frame you in a certain way unless you [TS]

00:29:59 ◼   ► really understand what you're accepting [TS]

00:30:01 ◼   ► and you know you're actually kind of [TS]

00:30:03 ◼   ► giving away part of yourself when you [TS]

00:30:05 ◼   ► let other people decide who you are and [TS]

00:30:07 ◼   ► then put you under the rubric of their [TS]

00:30:09 ◼   ► brand for example so anyway long story [TS]

00:30:11 ◼   ► short I could feel the the the kind of [TS]

00:30:14 ◼   ► the velocity of this group was getting [TS]

00:30:16 ◼   ► more and more into stuff for like mommy [TS]

00:30:18 ◼   ► bloggers would just have something [TS]

00:30:20 ◼   ► sponsored for a year and they go on [TS]

00:30:21 ◼   ► trips sponsored by computer companies [TS]

00:30:23 ◼   ► and stuff and I just that gave me the [TS]

00:30:25 ◼   ► fear a little bit i show up at this [TS]

00:30:27 ◼   ► thing where I think I'm mostly going to [TS]

00:30:29 ◼   ► have to sit one of those round tables [TS]

00:30:30 ◼   ► with a pad of paper and picture water [TS]

00:30:32 ◼   ► and smiling and applied and stuff like [TS]

00:30:34 ◼   ► that I find out I'm gonna be on a panel [TS]

00:30:36 ◼   ► after the announcement I'm going to be [TS]

00:30:38 ◼   ► on a panel i don't know any other I [TS]

00:30:40 ◼   ► don't think I knew any of [TS]

00:30:41 ◼   ► of the other people on the panel and if [TS]

00:30:43 ◼   ► I get it was only by reputation and it [TS]

00:30:44 ◼   ► wasn't good and was basically I was up [TS]

00:30:47 ◼   ► there with one person who had a blog [TS]

00:30:50 ◼   ► about celebrity babies flash she wrote [TS]

00:30:53 ◼   ► it was a she but she wrote about the [TS]

00:30:55 ◼   ► baby products of celebrities with [TS]

00:30:57 ◼   ► affiliate links and how that was growing [TS]

00:30:59 ◼   ► in another person talking about how they [TS]

00:31:01 ◼   ► were hiring people you know and this is [TS]

00:31:02 ◼   ► me being a one-person guy with one [TS]

00:31:04 ◼   ► person site where i run the server and [TS]

00:31:05 ◼   ► everything and there's people that are [TS]

00:31:07 ◼   ► talking about hiring people in Australia [TS]

00:31:08 ◼   ► so you can have people posting around [TS]

00:31:10 ◼   ► the clock and I i got up there and I [TS]

00:31:12 ◼   ► said the best like that you know i think [TS]

00:31:13 ◼   ► i ended up being a little bit of a karma [TS]

00:31:15 ◼   ► sakai I didn't so I first of all I made [TS]

00:31:18 ◼   ► the mistake that you made which is I [TS]

00:31:19 ◼   ► agreed to do it when I thought I really [TS]

00:31:20 ◼   ► shouldn't do it but I felt obligated did [TS]

00:31:22 ◼   ► feeling someone's like the bride was [TS]

00:31:23 ◼   ► asking me the same sure you are you got [TS]

00:31:25 ◼   ► thing and I mean I don't want to be [TS]

00:31:26 ◼   ► disrespectful but I didn't really know [TS]

00:31:28 ◼   ► what I was in for and then once I got up [TS]

00:31:30 ◼   ► there I think I being me especially me [TS]

00:31:34 ◼   ► of like six or eight years ago I said [TS]

00:31:36 ◼   ► some things that were slightly at odds [TS]

00:31:38 ◼   ► with everybody else up there said they [TS]

00:31:40 ◼   ► were hoping you were gonna say like I [TS]

00:31:41 ◼   ► saw a lot of cameras through my site buy [TS]

00:31:44 ◼   ► a fucking camera you think this video [TS]

00:31:47 ◼   ► tutorials are free doesn't buy a camera [TS]

00:31:49 ◼   ► by a fucking camera click on that link [TS]

00:31:51 ◼   ► you're stealing from me but anyway I [TS]

00:31:55 ◼   ► just you know I'm sorry this is a [TS]

00:31:56 ◼   ► derailment like I don't know there's [TS]

00:31:58 ◼   ► something about that and again it's why [TS]

00:32:00 ◼   ► I i'm not saying people like you know [TS]

00:32:02 ◼   ► whatever doing perfect but people out [TS]

00:32:04 ◼   ► there who are very reluctant to let [TS]

00:32:07 ◼   ► other people frame them and if you do [TS]

00:32:09 ◼   ► license the song you understand what it [TS]

00:32:11 ◼   ► is that your licensing you're treating [TS]

00:32:12 ◼   ► this like a business you're treating [TS]

00:32:14 ◼   ► this like this thing and you're never [TS]

00:32:15 ◼   ► you know when people try to pay you and [TS]

00:32:17 ◼   ► compliments i know you have feelings [TS]

00:32:18 ◼   ► about this could try to pay incompetent [TS]

00:32:20 ◼   ► people try to pay you and reputation [TS]

00:32:21 ◼   ► like nobody ever offers you that stuff [TS]

00:32:24 ◼   ► unless they're gonna get more out of it [TS]

00:32:25 ◼   ► than you will and they take a little [TS]

00:32:27 ◼   ► tiny piece of you with them when you do [TS]

00:32:29 ◼   ► that so I still you can tell this has [TS]

00:32:32 ◼   ► been like whatever six or eight years [TS]

00:32:33 ◼   ► and I'm still sitting like my toadstool [TS]

00:32:35 ◼   ► feel like a dick that I got up there and [TS]

00:32:37 ◼   ► had to explain my position alongside [TS]

00:32:39 ◼   ► somebody who has affiliate links to [TS]

00:32:41 ◼   ► celebrity baby products right right [TS]

00:32:43 ◼   ► Kanye and what enables him you know her [TS]

00:32:47 ◼   ► brother's not going to their wedding [TS]

00:32:48 ◼   ► because heavy i was writing and I don't [TS]

00:32:50 ◼   ► know why I ever [TS]

00:32:50 ◼   ► look at news site and I was on BuzzFeed [TS]

00:32:53 ◼   ► today looking at 25 people that are dead [TS]

00:32:56 ◼   ► person what happens next should be dead [TS]

00:32:59 ◼   ► that's all pictures of people in [TS]

00:33:00 ◼   ► skateboard crashes and I was but yeah I [TS]

00:33:04 ◼   ► was talking to a friend the other day [TS]

00:33:05 ◼   ► and I was like what do you know what do [TS]

00:33:06 ◼   ► you really want to do we really want to [TS]

00:33:08 ◼   ► do and she said I don't know I you know [TS]

00:33:11 ◼   ► I kind of you know like how do you [TS]

00:33:14 ◼   ► become a travel writer she says I was [TS]

00:33:17 ◼   ► like well what kind of travel writer do [TS]

00:33:19 ◼   ► you mean somebody who writes for glossy [TS]

00:33:22 ◼   ► magazines where they never ever ever say [TS]

00:33:24 ◼   ► anything bad about a hotel right like [TS]

00:33:27 ◼   ► those people have a job those people [TS]

00:33:29 ◼   ► okay how to get to write the top ten [TS]

00:33:31 ◼   ► steakhouses in America for an in-flight [TS]

00:33:33 ◼   ► magazine example you started advertising [TS]

00:33:35 ◼   ► company those people are published those [TS]

00:33:37 ◼   ► are out there is different but they're [TS]

00:33:40 ◼   ► not actually articles but there are [TS]

00:33:42 ◼   ► magazines all around the world there [TS]

00:33:43 ◼   ► there's stacks and stacks of magazines [TS]

00:33:45 ◼   ► you could build the foundation of a [TS]

00:33:47 ◼   ► house with all the magazines that are [TS]

00:33:48 ◼   ► that basically our PR people writing [TS]

00:33:53 ◼   ► glowing review so much more than people [TS]

00:33:55 ◼   ► and even smart people I think have no [TS]

00:33:58 ◼   ► idea how heavily I mean obviously any [TS]

00:34:00 ◼   ► fashion magazine any travel magazine [TS]

00:34:02 ◼   ► that's that's nothing gets in there [TS]

00:34:04 ◼   ► unless there is some money associated [TS]

00:34:06 ◼   ► with it right when was the last time you [TS]

00:34:08 ◼   ► read a review of a really expensive [TS]

00:34:10 ◼   ► hotel that was basically like fear [TS]

00:34:13 ◼   ► loathing in las vegas i walked into this [TS]

00:34:15 ◼   ► hotel and the first thing I smelled was [TS]

00:34:18 ◼   ► blood like 10 when when do you ever read [TS]

00:34:22 ◼   ► travel actual travel writer you hardly [TS]

00:34:24 ◼   ► ever do you think maybe finding an [TS]

00:34:26 ◼   ► independent blog maybe you find it on an [TS]

00:34:29 ◼   ► independent blog but those people are [TS]

00:34:30 ◼   ► not making a living presumably they're [TS]

00:34:32 ◼   ► not there obviously are they're clearly [TS]

00:34:34 ◼   ► not being flown around and they're not [TS]

00:34:36 ◼   ► they're not being compensated for its [TS]

00:34:39 ◼   ► not like a Lester Bangs type situation [TS]

00:34:41 ◼   ► where they're being compensated for [TS]

00:34:43 ◼   ► their personality in describing this [TS]

00:34:45 ◼   ► travel experience right like I don't [TS]

00:34:47 ◼   ► think Rolling Stone has a travel guy on [TS]

00:34:50 ◼   ► staff whose job is to just go out and [TS]

00:34:53 ◼   ► just write about his the shitty gets [TS]

00:34:55 ◼   ► into and she said well what about the [TS]

00:34:58 ◼   ► new york times magazine Travel section [TS]

00:35:01 ◼   ► and I was like what about it like that [TS]

00:35:03 ◼   ► like those people perceive their job to [TS]

00:35:07 ◼   ► be that they go find interesting [TS]

00:35:10 ◼   ► experiences and package them [TS]

00:35:13 ◼   ► automatically and then and then get the [TS]

00:35:16 ◼   ► the part that seems so obviously I'm a [TS]

00:35:19 ◼   ► really good writer [TS]

00:35:20 ◼   ► I would be perfect for that right right [TS]

00:35:22 ◼   ► oh yeah i mean that's great and you [TS]

00:35:24 ◼   ► should yeah you should work for an [TS]

00:35:25 ◼   ► advertising company because it means [TS]

00:35:27 ◼   ► like oh 25 spas in the Seychelles that [TS]

00:35:30 ◼   ► you know that don't have long lines it's [TS]

00:35:33 ◼   ► like what kind of writing is that I i [TS]

00:35:36 ◼   ► read a lot of anecdotes over the years [TS]

00:35:38 ◼   ► that i've got i've heard the cds this [TS]

00:35:41 ◼   ► same flavor of this one kind of [TS]

00:35:43 ◼   ► anecdotal I am I feeling about it is [TS]

00:35:44 ◼   ► really changed in the basic anecdote is [TS]

00:35:46 ◼   ► this super fan goes up to super creator [TS]

00:35:49 ◼   ► it could be comics could be both good [TS]

00:35:51 ◼   ► movies they go up they go up to the [TS]

00:35:52 ◼   ► person and say you know how do I become [TS]

00:35:55 ◼   ► a best selling comic book writer or [TS]

00:35:57 ◼   ► whatever and the person basically looks [TS]

00:35:59 ◼   ► at them straight in the eye and says if [TS]

00:36:00 ◼   ► you have to ask that question one then [TS]

00:36:03 ◼   ► you know insert answer here you're an [TS]

00:36:05 ◼   ► idiot or you've never really thought [TS]

00:36:06 ◼   ► about that question or you've never [TS]

00:36:08 ◼   ► actually tried to do it if you have to [TS]

00:36:10 ◼   ► ask that question then I can't help you [TS]

00:36:12 ◼   ► it's kind of like asking how I become [TS]

00:36:14 ◼   ► president the united states what's [TS]

00:36:15 ◼   ► actually in some ways extremely easy to [TS]

00:36:17 ◼   ► become president of the United States if [TS]

00:36:18 ◼   ► you meet the criteria and you get the [TS]

00:36:21 ◼   ► Electoral College victory you become [TS]

00:36:23 ◼   ► president but how do you get to that [TS]

00:36:24 ◼   ► point [TS]

00:36:25 ◼   ► well boy sit down bring up and bring a [TS]

00:36:27 ◼   ► bag lunch because there's a long road to [TS]

00:36:29 ◼   ► getting to that point already too late [TS]

00:36:31 ◼   ► for you yeah well there's that one [TS]

00:36:32 ◼   ► gateway at the end where you see you get [TS]

00:36:34 ◼   ► your coronation and you get your sash [TS]

00:36:35 ◼   ► and a parade but like you know I think [TS]

00:36:37 ◼   ► most people like in the case of become a [TS]

00:36:40 ◼   ► travel writer for The New York Times I [TS]

00:36:42 ◼   ► mean ask the thousands of people who [TS]

00:36:44 ◼   ► have tried to get that job before right [TS]

00:36:46 ◼   ► right well and and and there is this [TS]

00:36:49 ◼   ► mmm and again I mean I hate to have to [TS]

00:36:52 ◼   ► put everything on the shoulders of [TS]

00:36:54 ◼   ► elizabeth gilbert I wasn't good but yeah [TS]

00:37:00 ◼   ► there is this the this whole culture of [TS]

00:37:03 ◼   ► manifesting like it its it puts this [TS]

00:37:07 ◼   ► that's why there are so many freaking [TS]

00:37:09 ◼   ► photographers now like what do you want [TS]

00:37:11 ◼   ► to do with your life [TS]

00:37:12 ◼   ► I think I want to be a photographer [TS]

00:37:14 ◼   ► and I'll just manifest that and now i'm [TS]

00:37:18 ◼   ► a photographer like wow you are a [TS]

00:37:21 ◼   ► photographer you take pictures but like [TS]

00:37:24 ◼   ► to be to be a photographer of that kind [TS]

00:37:29 ◼   ► it's just like being a videographer or [TS]

00:37:32 ◼   ► AA in a I mean a landscape architect a [TS]

00:37:38 ◼   ► lot of it is just code for like my dad [TS]

00:37:40 ◼   ► is rich with your videographer faithful [TS]

00:37:43 ◼   ► yeah right you know [TS]

00:37:44 ◼   ► yeah and-and-and with you if you don't [TS]

00:37:47 ◼   ► have if you don't have a rich dad if [TS]

00:37:49 ◼   ► you're not just looking for a cool thing [TS]

00:37:52 ◼   ► to justify your time on earth but are [TS]

00:37:55 ◼   ► really looking for a job I think you [TS]

00:38:00 ◼   ► should I think you should cross travel [TS]

00:38:02 ◼   ► writer off of the list of fantasy jobs [TS]

00:38:05 ◼   ► because or replace it with but publicity [TS]

00:38:12 ◼   ► flac great because it's because the idea [TS]

00:38:16 ◼   ► that you have like jet-setting around [TS]

00:38:19 ◼   ► with a series of like silk scarves [TS]

00:38:23 ◼   ► billowing in the wind as you visit [TS]

00:38:25 ◼   ► five-star hotels and give them glowing [TS]

00:38:28 ◼   ► reviews but have but retain your like [TS]

00:38:31 ◼   ► personal integrity one of those things [TS]

00:38:35 ◼   ► is going to have to go in and look this [TS]

00:38:38 ◼   ► is this is really the old man and me [TS]

00:38:40 ◼   ► talking but the this is a question the [TS]

00:38:42 ◼   ► very few i'll just say young people or [TS]

00:38:45 ◼   ► 90 people are people who haven't had [TS]

00:38:46 ◼   ► enough experience yet there's a question [TS]

00:38:48 ◼   ► very few people asked which is what [TS]

00:38:50 ◼   ► industry can I go into we're working and [TS]

00:38:53 ◼   ► probably hard and never taking no for an [TS]

00:38:56 ◼   ► answer and looking for every opportunity [TS]

00:38:57 ◼   ► and sacrificing everything would be a [TS]

00:39:00 ◼   ► good choice for me because that's the [TS]

00:39:01 ◼   ► answer to a lot of these is you can do a [TS]

00:39:04 ◼   ► lot of things but you very rarely i [TS]

00:39:06 ◼   ► don't turn us into another show but like [TS]

00:39:07 ◼   ► you very rarely end up in this one place [TS]

00:39:09 ◼   ► that you saw when you didn't understand [TS]

00:39:11 ◼   ► the business yet unless unless you [TS]

00:39:13 ◼   ► understand like how people he is still [TS]

00:39:15 ◼   ► very rarely get it but you might end up [TS]

00:39:17 ◼   ► becoming one of the best copywriters by [TS]

00:39:19 ◼   ► starting out wanting to be a tel [TS]

00:39:20 ◼   ► television writer [TS]

00:39:21 ◼   ► it's just that you never know like which [TS]

00:39:22 ◼   ► opportunities going to come along and [TS]

00:39:24 ◼   ► they all come down to like an [TS]

00:39:25 ◼   ► extraordinary amount of sacrifice [TS]

00:39:28 ◼   ► including the sacrifice of some kind of [TS]

00:39:29 ◼   ► pie in the sky dream you had that was [TS]

00:39:32 ◼   ► never never really a sane goal because [TS]

00:39:36 ◼   ► you didn't really understand what the [TS]

00:39:37 ◼   ► job was you have to just go out and work [TS]

00:39:39 ◼   ► really hard for a long time to get [TS]

00:39:40 ◼   ► anything I mean you don't mean that's [TS]

00:39:42 ◼   ► not to say work hard because like you're [TS]

00:39:43 ◼   ► working in a mine but you do have to [TS]

00:39:45 ◼   ► have this tenacious personality of like [TS]

00:39:47 ◼   ► getting back on the horse over and over [TS]

00:39:49 ◼   ► and over even though there's no money in [TS]

00:39:51 ◼   ► it for a long time and and you know just [TS]

00:39:52 ◼   ► waiting around for the new york times to [TS]

00:39:54 ◼   ► call you is like a pretty long shot but [TS]

00:39:56 ◼   ► what does Dan Benjamin usually say in [TS]

00:39:58 ◼   ► these moments that's let's say about [TS]

00:40:02 ◼   ► something I liked this episode of rock [TS]

00:40:04 ◼   ► on the line is sponsored by Squarespace [TS]

00:40:06 ◼   ► the only one platform that makes it fast [TS]

00:40:08 ◼   ► and easy to create your own professional [TS]

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00:40:12 ◼   ► believe me John and I know where we [TS]

00:40:14 ◼   ► speak we have hosted Roderick on the [TS]

00:40:15 ◼   ► line with squarespace since the very [TS]

00:40:17 ◼   ► beginning episodes 0 and they've been [TS]

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00:41:03 ◼   ► code supertrain when you check out our [TS]

00:41:06 ◼   ► thanks to squarespace for supporting rod [TS]

00:41:07 ◼   ► online we could not do it without yeah [TS]

00:41:10 ◼   ► but they're right obviously the thing [TS]

00:41:12 ◼   ► the thing is that if you have that [TS]

00:41:13 ◼   ► personality you wouldn't bc wouldn't be [TS]

00:41:15 ◼   ► sitting around dreaming about being a [TS]

00:41:17 ◼   ► travel that's such a disappointing [TS]

00:41:18 ◼   ► answer that because it really does sound [TS]

00:41:19 ◼   ► like every piece of bullshit you've ever [TS]

00:41:21 ◼   ► heard from everybody in your family [TS]

00:41:22 ◼   ► because you know the other advice you [TS]

00:41:25 ◼   ► hear that I mean you'll hear that advice [TS]

00:41:27 ◼   ► often from people like me lit from [TS]

00:41:29 ◼   ► failures like me who were like well I [TS]

00:41:30 ◼   ► thought that was going to be really easy [TS]

00:41:31 ◼   ► to and you know now I'm laid off from [TS]

00:41:34 ◼   ► the auto parts factory or whatever [TS]

00:41:35 ◼   ► look at the concept that that that I [TS]

00:41:38 ◼   ► think intruder like your polluted [TS]

00:41:41 ◼   ► water is that they're there really is [TS]

00:41:45 ◼   ► maybe more than any time since the [TS]

00:41:49 ◼   ► Renaissance in Florence there is this [TS]

00:41:54 ◼   ► sense of patrons and a magic money magic [TS]

00:42:01 ◼   ► income streams that if you that that [TS]

00:42:06 ◼   ► it's very hard to it's very hard to [TS]

00:42:08 ◼   ► perceive like we're the center of the [TS]

00:42:11 ◼   ► stream is but if you can stumble along [TS]

00:42:13 ◼   ► if you can bumble into a situation where [TS]

00:42:19 ◼   ► some billionaire decides that you're his [TS]

00:42:22 ◼   ► pet project or or somebody like see [TS]

00:42:27 ◼   ► somebody sort of innocuously seeds a [TS]

00:42:34 ◼   ► reference to their product into your [TS]

00:42:35 ◼   ► content in a way that did that you feel [TS]

00:42:37 ◼   ► doesn't diminish the content but they [TS]

00:42:40 ◼   ► are rich person and they believe their [TS]

00:42:42 ◼   ► subliminal advertising is really [TS]

00:42:44 ◼   ► effective and they are willing to pay [TS]

00:42:46 ◼   ► mightily for it or you know the the idea [TS]

00:42:50 ◼   ► that there's all this money out there [TS]

00:42:52 ◼   ► that is essentially three money and you [TS]

00:42:56 ◼   ► just have to be in the right place at [TS]

00:42:57 ◼   ► the right time and tap into it you just [TS]

00:42:59 ◼   ► have to write and and this is that the [TS]

00:43:02 ◼   ► one you when you go on a cruise and you [TS]

00:43:04 ◼   ► become aware that the cruise lines and [TS]

00:43:07 ◼   ► the watch companies and the perfume [TS]

00:43:10 ◼   ► companies and the people who run this [TS]

00:43:12 ◼   ► the duty-free stores and the liquor [TS]

00:43:15 ◼   ► companies are all in bed with each other [TS]

00:43:18 ◼   ► and not a single rolex gets old [TS]

00:43:22 ◼   ► where every one of those people doesn't [TS]

00:43:24 ◼   ► take a cut of it you know it's just [TS]

00:43:27 ◼   ► deciding which brand of shampoo is going [TS]

00:43:29 ◼   ► to be in your hotel room you can eat so [TS]

00:43:31 ◼   ► many meetings went into that bottle of [TS]

00:43:32 ◼   ► shampoo that's right and and nobody is [TS]

00:43:34 ◼   ► getting there's you know nobody's [TS]

00:43:36 ◼   ► getting rich [TS]

00:43:37 ◼   ► everybody is getting a little percentage [TS]

00:43:39 ◼   ► of it up a little percentage of [TS]

00:43:43 ◼   ► promoting the idea that that everybody's [TS]

00:43:47 ◼   ► rich and that the luxury brands are [TS]

00:43:50 ◼   ► are perfectly appropriate and so forth [TS]

00:43:53 ◼   ► there are people with tons and tons of [TS]

00:43:55 ◼   ► money there are people with more money [TS]

00:43:56 ◼   ► than you know what to do with and every [TS]

00:43:58 ◼   ► once in a while somebody does get their [TS]

00:44:00 ◼   ► kickstarter-funded a hundred thousand [TS]

00:44:04 ◼   ► percent more than they asked or every [TS]

00:44:06 ◼   ► once in a while somebody does kinda hit [TS]

00:44:08 ◼   ► a jackpot or work on work on a project [TS]

00:44:12 ◼   ► and then they forget about it and oh it [TS]

00:44:15 ◼   ► turns out that there are part owners of [TS]

00:44:17 ◼   ► a big thing or spray painted a freaking [TS]

00:44:19 ◼   ► mural on the wall of the facebook [TS]

00:44:22 ◼   ► startup and got paid in shares you know [TS]

00:44:27 ◼   ► there are enough of those stories that [TS]

00:44:30 ◼   ► it just gets into the subconscious of [TS]

00:44:34 ◼   ► the culture in a way that I've got a lot [TS]

00:44:37 ◼   ► of people and myself included are kind [TS]

00:44:39 ◼   ► of walking around like not it's not it's [TS]

00:44:42 ◼   ► not where's my parade it's like where's [TS]

00:44:44 ◼   ► my payday and I might just been this one [TS]

00:44:47 ◼   ► spot this one time like the rain would [TS]

00:44:48 ◼   ► have fallen on me [TS]

00:44:49 ◼   ► yeah I would have gotten that I could [TS]

00:44:51 ◼   ► have fucking spray painted a mural on [TS]

00:44:52 ◼   ► the facebook wall if I knew that it was [TS]

00:44:55 ◼   ► going to be a better bet that be worth [TS]

00:44:56 ◼   ► 300 million dollars and though those [TS]

00:45:00 ◼   ► that little tickle of of feeling like [TS]

00:45:04 ◼   ► it's really just a it's really just a [TS]

00:45:07 ◼   ► question of like riding the elevator [TS]

00:45:11 ◼   ► with the right person and on the other [TS]

00:45:14 ◼   ► end of the elevator ride we're shaking [TS]

00:45:17 ◼   ► hands and he's saying my people are [TS]

00:45:20 ◼   ► going to call you [TS]

00:45:21 ◼   ► you know that that that the meta cheese [TS]

00:45:24 ◼   ► are going to fund your little your [TS]

00:45:30 ◼   ► little student sculpture studio or [TS]

00:45:32 ◼   ► whatever and I don't know how that it's [TS]

00:45:37 ◼   ► that is part of the in a way part of [TS]

00:45:41 ◼   ► them the lottery culture that's kind of [TS]

00:45:43 ◼   ► magical thinking its total magical [TS]

00:45:45 ◼   ► thinking and and yet there really is it [TS]

00:45:49 ◼   ► happens every once in awhile there [TS]

00:45:50 ◼   ► really is that [TS]

00:45:52 ◼   ► yeah there's a phenomenon behind a lot [TS]

00:45:54 ◼   ► of the the shitty turns out social [TS]

00:45:57 ◼   ► psychology work in social psychology [TS]

00:45:59 ◼   ► journalism that I find very interesting [TS]

00:46:01 ◼   ► called the file drawer effect which is [TS]

00:46:03 ◼   ► you know think this way [TS]

00:46:04 ◼   ► yeah which is like how much of this [TS]

00:46:06 ◼   ► research did you not include in your [TS]

00:46:09 ◼   ► study because it didn't meet your the [TS]

00:46:11 ◼   ► results that you wanted differently if i [TS]

00:46:14 ◼   ► flip a coin a hundred times and it lands [TS]

00:46:17 ◼   ► heads up 51 percent of the time if I [TS]

00:46:19 ◼   ► throw out thirty percent of the times [TS]

00:46:21 ◼   ► that landed tales that really makes it [TS]

00:46:23 ◼   ► look like i can get heads more often but [TS]

00:46:25 ◼   ► you're you're effectively cheating in [TS]

00:46:28 ◼   ► that sense and and I don't recall this [TS]

00:46:30 ◼   ► cheating but in the sense that like it's [TS]

00:46:32 ◼   ► very popular today to talk about like [TS]

00:46:34 ◼   ► what you've learned from your failures [TS]

00:46:36 ◼   ► but like nobody asked what you learn [TS]

00:46:38 ◼   ► from your failures for something from [TS]

00:46:39 ◼   ► somebody who hasn't had a big success [TS]

00:46:41 ◼   ► so you don't hear all the times that [TS]

00:46:44 ◼   ► somebody that somebody got in the [TS]

00:46:45 ◼   ► elevator with a messy and it didn't turn [TS]

00:46:47 ◼   ► out with funding sculpture studio those [TS]

00:46:49 ◼   ► stories don't get out and and when they [TS]

00:46:51 ◼   ► do they're only it's only because [TS]

00:46:53 ◼   ► somebody's talking that person because [TS]

00:46:54 ◼   ► they succeeded i'm not saying don't try [TS]

00:46:55 ◼   ► but i am saying like don't look at your [TS]

00:46:58 ◼   ► life is a game of kino where you just [TS]

00:47:00 ◼   ► keep waiting for this thing to come [TS]

00:47:01 ◼   ► along that's going to bring you up to [TS]

00:47:02 ◼   ► the same bar of success that all these [TS]

00:47:04 ◼   ► other people got so easily because the [TS]

00:47:06 ◼   ► only got it easily after having stuff [TS]

00:47:08 ◼   ► happened that was not easy i was [TS]

00:47:09 ◼   ► thinking about this the other day I went [TS]

00:47:11 ◼   ► to school with a bunch of computer [TS]

00:47:14 ◼   ► science majors in the late eighties and [TS]

00:47:18 ◼   ► they were studying computer maths and [TS]

00:47:23 ◼   ► they were designing programs that were [TS]

00:47:26 ◼   ► impenetrable with with really really bad [TS]

00:47:30 ◼   ► user interfaces you know all the all the [TS]

00:47:33 ◼   ► exact same stuff that made certain [TS]

00:47:35 ◼   ► people millionaires and I haven't talked [TS]

00:47:39 ◼   ► to these friends and I've been quite a [TS]

00:47:41 ◼   ► while but I i knew a whole handful of [TS]

00:47:45 ◼   ► guys and like none of them are I don't [TS]

00:47:48 ◼   ► think millionaires [TS]

00:47:51 ◼   ► and realizing that even in my own life I [TS]

00:47:55 ◼   ► have I have the experience because there [TS]

00:47:58 ◼   ► are times when I walk around and think [TS]

00:48:00 ◼   ► God if I had just gone into computer [TS]

00:48:02 ◼   ► science and eighties over I'd be a [TS]

00:48:05 ◼   ► millionaire now and then I I I just had [TS]

00:48:09 ◼   ► this kind of corrective realization that [TS]

00:48:11 ◼   ► like women I basically knew all the [TS]

00:48:14 ◼   ► people in computer science at this one [TS]

00:48:16 ◼   ► college and we were all pals we were [TS]

00:48:20 ◼   ► like we were like Tetris buddies and and [TS]

00:48:23 ◼   ► stoner pals and I don't think any of [TS]

00:48:26 ◼   ► them are millionaires and they are still [TS]

00:48:28 ◼   ► working in computer science like most [TS]

00:48:30 ◼   ► people who were working in computer [TS]

00:48:32 ◼   ► science and the eighties didn't become [TS]

00:48:33 ◼   ► millionaires like most people don't [TS]

00:48:35 ◼   ► become millionaires and the and just as [TS]

00:48:39 ◼   ► you're saying like the the people that [TS]

00:48:41 ◼   ► do get all the get all the attention and [TS]

00:48:45 ◼   ► it and over time the accumulative effect [TS]

00:48:47 ◼   ► is that everybody's a millionaire but me [TS]

00:48:49 ◼   ► and it gets reinforced because then you [TS]

00:48:55 ◼   ► start looking for examples of that to [TS]

00:48:57 ◼   ► add to your sad portfolio to do is go on [TS]

00:49:00 ◼   ► a cruise and it's like who the hell are [TS]

00:49:01 ◼   ► buying all these rolex watches right [TS]

00:49:03 ◼   ► right gotta be all the millions that [TS]

00:49:05 ◼   ► aren't me [TS]

00:49:06 ◼   ► it's gotta be everybody else that's a [TS]

00:49:07 ◼   ► millionaire i texted me last night for [TS]

00:49:10 ◼   ► no particular reason and see if you [TS]

00:49:12 ◼   ► haven't watched just going to be dick [TS]

00:49:13 ◼   ► pics continued on next photo has a wide [TS]

00:49:19 ◼   ► aperture it's macro lens i don't i [TS]

00:49:23 ◼   ► watched the first season of deadwood [TS]

00:49:26 ◼   ► yeah did you but i didn't i didn't make [TS]

00:49:28 ◼   ► it to the second season of I forgot like [TS]

00:49:31 ◼   ► how good that show stay I I what I what [TS]

00:49:34 ◼   ► I remember about that show is that I've [TS]

00:49:35 ◼   ► watched the first five episodes in [TS]

00:49:37 ◼   ► particular probably five times I've [TS]

00:49:38 ◼   ► watched it all the way through once and [TS]

00:49:40 ◼   ► i watched it through the first couple [TS]

00:49:41 ◼   ► seasons at least twice so I've come now [TS]

00:49:43 ◼   ► the hbos on the amazon prime [TS]

00:49:45 ◼   ► i'm up to like the fourth episode of [TS]

00:49:48 ◼   ► season 2 in a week but you know it's but [TS]

00:49:51 ◼   ► that that's that's kinda what you're [TS]

00:49:52 ◼   ► talking about here in some ways it's you [TS]

00:49:54 ◼   ► know it's like that old it's the old [TS]

00:49:55 ◼   ► joke about you know gosh in all these [TS]

00:49:58 ◼   ► transactions the only people who really [TS]

00:49:59 ◼   ► make sustainable money not a lottery not [TS]

00:50:02 ◼   ► want [TS]

00:50:03 ◼   ► lottery not a one-day lucky shot the [TS]

00:50:05 ◼   ► people who made the sustained make the [TS]

00:50:06 ◼   ► sustainable money today our lawyers [TS]

00:50:08 ◼   ► because lawyers will always make money [TS]

00:50:09 ◼   ► off the cost of other people's [TS]

00:50:10 ◼   ► transactions financial people same way [TS]

00:50:12 ◼   ► and in that case as he said so many [TS]

00:50:14 ◼   ► times whether it's san francisco or [TS]

00:50:16 ◼   ► Comstock or Deadwood it's the people who [TS]

00:50:18 ◼   ► sold the equipment that got rich it's [TS]

00:50:20 ◼   ► not just people who are selling the [TS]

00:50:22 ◼   ► five-dollar gallons of milk [TS]

00:50:23 ◼   ► it's not the people across the board if [TS]

00:50:26 ◼   ► you look at the actual numbers i would [TS]

00:50:27 ◼   ► bet you that there's most people who [TS]

00:50:29 ◼   ► made the most money or probably there [TS]

00:50:31 ◼   ► are few lucky people and then they're [TS]

00:50:33 ◼   ► extremely lucky people early on and then [TS]

00:50:36 ◼   ► there was the Mutual's and then there [TS]

00:50:38 ◼   ► was the people who sold the pans and [TS]

00:50:39 ◼   ► sold the shovels in the pics that that's [TS]

00:50:41 ◼   ► the sustaining money because even if you [TS]

00:50:43 ◼   ► get one lightning strike from energy [TS]

00:50:44 ◼   ► that doesn't mean it's going to be there [TS]

00:50:46 ◼   ► in the case like you know the thing is [TS]

00:50:47 ◼   ► if somebody comes to your earlier travel [TS]

00:50:49 ◼   ► blog and says hey we'd like to insert [TS]

00:50:51 ◼   ► these positive reviews of things you may [TS]

00:50:53 ◼   ► not even realize that they're in their [TS]

00:50:54 ◼   ► experiment they're doing that same [TS]

00:50:56 ◼   ► experiment with 500 other sites because [TS]

00:50:57 ◼   ► it's not that costly for them and after [TS]

00:50:59 ◼   ► a month to figure out who got the best [TS]

00:51:01 ◼   ► results and suddenly your lightning goes [TS]

00:51:02 ◼   ► away and then you're like you're going [TS]

00:51:04 ◼   ► what happened I thought I I thought I [TS]

00:51:05 ◼   ► hit the lottery but that's how it works [TS]

00:51:07 ◼   ► like nobody gives you money unless they [TS]

00:51:09 ◼   ► will think that they think they're [TS]

00:51:11 ◼   ► making more benefit than what they're [TS]

00:51:13 ◼   ► giving to you and you forget that your [TS]

00:51:14 ◼   ► peril [TS]

00:51:15 ◼   ► yeah the city of seattle is a city built [TS]

00:51:19 ◼   ► on the crushed dreams of a thousand [TS]

00:51:22 ◼   ► other crushed dreams of of a hundred [TS]

00:51:25 ◼   ► thousand people who headed up to the [TS]

00:51:27 ◼   ► Yukon to get rich in the goldfields is [TS]

00:51:29 ◼   ► that like one of the last places we kid [TS]

00:51:31 ◼   ► gets a prize they'll give you there [TS]

00:51:33 ◼   ► yeah Seattle of like Seattle sent all [TS]

00:51:37 ◼   ► the goods up to the Yukon and collected [TS]

00:51:41 ◼   ► all the gold like the when you when you [TS]

00:51:45 ◼   ► if you did if you were in the small [TS]

00:51:48 ◼   ► handful of people that actually struck [TS]

00:51:51 ◼   ► it rich up there or made their got gold [TS]

00:51:53 ◼   ► you take that gold down to the to the [TS]

00:51:57 ◼   ► little pop-up general store and then [TS]

00:51:59 ◼   ► that guy would wait on his scale and put [TS]

00:52:02 ◼   ► it in a bag and send it by dog sled down [TS]

00:52:04 ◼   ► to Lake Bennett or whatever where they [TS]

00:52:06 ◼   ► would put it on a paddle boat and take [TS]

00:52:08 ◼   ► it to the train and eventually it would [TS]

00:52:10 ◼   ► make it in to seattle you know this was [TS]

00:52:13 ◼   ► where the cold came [TS]

00:52:15 ◼   ► and like the filson company was built [TS]

00:52:19 ◼   ► with originally to send close up to the [TS]

00:52:23 ◼   ► gold miners and the holes the whole city [TS]

00:52:25 ◼   ► I mean Alaska Alaska is what built [TS]

00:52:28 ◼   ► Seattle trying to trying to exploit [TS]

00:52:31 ◼   ► Alaska but like none of the none of the [TS]

00:52:37 ◼   ► names that ring out from that era our [TS]

00:52:40 ◼   ► names of miners 50 they're all names and [TS]

00:52:44 ◼   ► you might get this half-assed named [TS]

00:52:45 ◼   ► after you died I know even the passes [TS]

00:52:48 ◼   ► are named like Stampede pass dead miner [TS]

00:52:51 ◼   ► path but black and horseface pass know [TS]

00:52:58 ◼   ► all the names that ring out or the [TS]

00:52:59 ◼   ► bankers the shopkeepers the but yeah the [TS]

00:53:03 ◼   ► gold pan sellers that they are the there [TS]

00:53:07 ◼   ► the the ones who have their names on [TS]

00:53:08 ◼   ► buildings and the miners [TS]

00:53:11 ◼   ► I mean by the time most of the miners [TS]

00:53:13 ◼   ► arrived at the gold was all claimed that [TS]

00:53:16 ◼   ► as they say that's right and so let's [TS]

00:53:18 ◼   ► forget cocksuckers it just became it [TS]

00:53:21 ◼   ► just became like Oh are a rush town of [TS]

00:53:25 ◼   ► people spending their last dollar [TS]

00:53:28 ◼   ► spending the last dollar that they that [TS]

00:53:31 ◼   ► they received from back from Boston [TS]

00:53:33 ◼   ► outfitting themselves like a dude in all [TS]

00:53:38 ◼   ► the latest gear and and when he's [TS]

00:53:41 ◼   ► sipping it then that sets up and make [TS]

00:53:46 ◼   ► they you know they get it they lose it [TS]

00:53:48 ◼   ► all in a poker game right and then [TS]

00:53:50 ◼   ► they're like you know have to wire home [TS]

00:53:53 ◼   ► for the money they to get a trainer [TS]

00:53:55 ◼   ► one-way ticket back that's why there's a [TS]

00:53:57 ◼   ► couple things that I I mean it's cool [TS]

00:53:59 ◼   ► that you watch tonight there's a couple [TS]

00:54:00 ◼   ► things in again rewatching for the [TS]

00:54:02 ◼   ► millionth time that that made me think [TS]

00:54:04 ◼   ► of you and I mean one of the things is [TS]

00:54:07 ◼   ► basically all of the characters [TS]

00:54:09 ◼   ► yes yes but not the obscenity or [TS]

00:54:11 ◼   ► anything but just love the elevated [TS]

00:54:13 ◼   ► language of course but the but just the [TS]

00:54:16 ◼   ► kind of the ethics of the town and the [TS]

00:54:18 ◼   ► importance of honor and the importance [TS]

00:54:21 ◼   ► of sort of doing doing what you say [TS]

00:54:24 ◼   ► you're going to do and doing it within [TS]

00:54:26 ◼   ► the affair [TS]

00:54:27 ◼   ► mature is it as as weird and primitive [TS]

00:54:32 ◼   ► as the culture is it is amateur culture [TS]

00:54:34 ◼   ► where you know without anybody having to [TS]

00:54:36 ◼   ► tell you like you don't fuck without [TS]

00:54:37 ◼   ► Swearengen like you just you get that [TS]

00:54:39 ◼   ► pretty quick you know you get that you [TS]

00:54:41 ◼   ► can shit on this part of the road but [TS]

00:54:42 ◼   ► you sure better not shit on that part of [TS]

00:54:43 ◼   ► the road and nobody has to write that [TS]

00:54:45 ◼   ► down in a book and a lot of pushback you [TS]

00:54:48 ◼   ► know there's to the whole first season [TS]

00:54:49 ◼   ► especially as always push back a big [TS]

00:54:50 ◼   ► what happens in the United States comes [TS]

00:54:52 ◼   ► in and this qualifies all these claims [TS]

00:54:55 ◼   ► as being illegal you know and starting [TS]

00:54:57 ◼   ► over and but and that was one part of it [TS]

00:54:59 ◼   ► but also the internet just a whole one [TS]

00:55:03 ◼   ► thing it's so great through every [TS]

00:55:04 ◼   ► episode is like nothing is easy in the [TS]

00:55:07 ◼   ► town this there's something like you're [TS]

00:55:09 ◼   ► going to buy something you have to deal [TS]

00:55:11 ◼   ► with somebody in the case like the first [TS]

00:55:12 ◼   ► few episodes that they can't even buy [TS]

00:55:14 ◼   ► what they want to buy they can't buy the [TS]

00:55:15 ◼   ► land to build their store and I just I [TS]

00:55:17 ◼   ► love the idea of like everyday being [TS]

00:55:19 ◼   ► this constant struggle of like fucked up [TS]

00:55:22 ◼   ► bureaucratic overhead even though [TS]

00:55:24 ◼   ► there's no rule book that everything you [TS]

00:55:26 ◼   ► do is you're going to have to like buy [TS]

00:55:28 ◼   ► you'd like to say the same roach in the [TS]

00:55:29 ◼   ► same biscuit like everyday and I don't [TS]

00:55:32 ◼   ► know the reason that seems like that [TS]

00:55:34 ◼   ► would appeal to eat well and what's [TS]

00:55:36 ◼   ► great about a show like that and and i [TS]

00:55:39 ◼   ► guess i'm in a town like that is that [TS]

00:55:41 ◼   ► they're always microcosms of of the big [TS]

00:55:45 ◼   ► of the big world the big picture [TS]

00:55:47 ◼   ► this is kind of what i always say to [TS]

00:55:48 ◼   ► people who come up to me with conspiracy [TS]

00:55:51 ◼   ► theories like elaborate conspiracy [TS]

00:55:52 ◼   ► theories when you look at when you look [TS]

00:55:55 ◼   ► at deadwood and you realize like Al [TS]

00:55:57 ◼   ► Swearengen is intent in charge of the [TS]

00:55:59 ◼   ► town and everybody is terrified of him [TS]

00:56:00 ◼   ► but it's a lot of work to be elsewhere [TS]

00:56:03 ◼   ► engine it's very stressful it's [TS]

00:56:05 ◼   ► incredibly stressful and people are [TS]

00:56:07 ◼   ► fucking up on your behalf of all the [TS]

00:56:09 ◼   ► time and you are constantly mad and [TS]

00:56:12 ◼   ► you're out there i have to deal with [TS]

00:56:14 ◼   ► this [TS]

00:56:14 ◼   ► yeah you're out there killing people [TS]

00:56:16 ◼   ► that need to be killed but you don't you [TS]

00:56:18 ◼   ► know you very seldom really relish it [TS]

00:56:21 ◼   ► it's just it's just work you've got to [TS]

00:56:23 ◼   ► do to maintain your position because if [TS]

00:56:26 ◼   ► you don't do it [TS]

00:56:27 ◼   ► there's all these little grubby rats [TS]

00:56:30 ◼   ► around your ankles that are waiting for [TS]

00:56:31 ◼   ► you to slip up and from the perspective [TS]

00:56:35 ◼   ► of like somebody who's scraping by in [TS]

00:56:39 ◼   ► the town [TS]

00:56:40 ◼   ► Al Swearengen seems like he's got it [TS]

00:56:42 ◼   ► made and elsewhere engine seems like [TS]

00:56:44 ◼   ► he's the he's in charge everything in [TS]

00:56:47 ◼   ► his invisible hand is everywhere but [TS]

00:56:49 ◼   ► from Al Swearengen 'he's perspective [TS]

00:56:52 ◼   ► it's a shit ton of work he didn't ask [TS]

00:56:54 ◼   ► for it and he then he perceives it to be [TS]

00:56:57 ◼   ► his duty to maintain a certain kind of [TS]

00:57:00 ◼   ► order etc center and when you [TS]

00:57:02 ◼   ► extrapolate that out and you realize [TS]

00:57:04 ◼   ► that all of the all of the International [TS]

00:57:06 ◼   ► systems more or less are just giant [TS]

00:57:11 ◼   ► extrapolations of that right for from [TS]

00:57:14 ◼   ► from remove it seems like this great [TS]

00:57:15 ◼   ► opportunity but it's not pretty rickety [TS]

00:57:17 ◼   ► always this is website Oliver coming to [TS]

00:57:19 ◼   ► town to suddenly disrupt the whole idea [TS]

00:57:22 ◼   ► yeah it's not leadership yeah [TS]

00:57:24 ◼   ► and-and-and when you think about like oh [TS]

00:57:27 ◼   ► the that the Trilateral Commission is [TS]

00:57:31 ◼   ► running the running the world or [TS]

00:57:33 ◼   ► whatever they're they're all these [TS]

00:57:34 ◼   ► secret rooms where men are making secret [TS]

00:57:36 ◼   ► plans and the reality is there are [TS]

00:57:38 ◼   ► people sitting around in in those rooms [TS]

00:57:41 ◼   ► they are making plans but there isn't [TS]

00:57:45 ◼   ► there isn't this additional level of [TS]

00:57:50 ◼   ► intention behind a further curtain like [TS]

00:57:54 ◼   ► they are just guys who are improvising [TS]

00:57:57 ◼   ► and they have power but they don't have [TS]

00:58:01 ◼   ► unlimited power right and it don't have [TS]

00:58:03 ◼   ► enduring power that always evidence is [TS]

00:58:05 ◼   ► itself in the same way right if there is [TS]

00:58:08 ◼   ► no great-great-grandson [TS]

00:58:09 ◼   ► great-great-grandson Rothschild who has [TS]

00:58:13 ◼   ► always been moving his grandfather was [TS]

00:58:16 ◼   ► moving the levers and he is moving the [TS]

00:58:18 ◼   ► levers and we are all being slowly [TS]

00:58:20 ◼   ► poisoned by our water bottles [TS]

00:58:23 ◼   ► it's just that everybody is everybody is [TS]

00:58:28 ◼   ► scrambling and improvising too to keep [TS]

00:58:31 ◼   ► keep the ball moving sort of [TS]

00:58:34 ◼   ► incrementally and and ultimately [TS]

00:58:36 ◼   ► stupidly that that if human beings were [TS]

00:58:41 ◼   ► smart enough to [TS]

00:58:45 ◼   ► to keep even the smallest conspiracy a [TS]

00:58:48 ◼   ► secret and alive for longer than half a [TS]

00:58:52 ◼   ► generation [TS]

00:58:53 ◼   ► yeah you know we would be what with the [TS]

00:58:55 ◼   ► evidence would be everywhere the [TS]

00:58:57 ◼   ► evidence would be everywhere that we [TS]

00:58:59 ◼   ► were that the world actually ran that [TS]

00:59:01 ◼   ► way but in fact the evidence is [TS]

00:59:02 ◼   ► everywhere that we are just that the [TS]

00:59:06 ◼   ► streets are full of shit and we are just [TS]

00:59:09 ◼   ► trying to walk from one solution to the [TS]

00:59:11 ◼   ► next without getting in a gunfight you [TS]

00:59:14 ◼   ► know it's a right we are not in a there [TS]

00:59:18 ◼   ► is no system and and the perception of [TS]

00:59:21 ◼   ► the system is just that you've never [TS]

00:59:23 ◼   ► you've never sat in elsewhere engines [TS]

00:59:25 ◼   ► office and watched you know the ins and [TS]

00:59:28 ◼   ► outs of how how a guy like that keeps it [TS]

00:59:32 ◼   ► keeps the ball in the volunteer today [TS]

00:59:34 ◼   ► today [TS]

00:59:35 ◼   ► exactly i mean there's like there's like [TS]

00:59:38 ◼   ► three things that are difficult in life [TS]

00:59:40 ◼   ► he working with other people getting [TS]

00:59:42 ◼   ► shit accomplished and keeping secrets [TS]

00:59:43 ◼   ► three things that I think are pretty [TS]

00:59:45 ◼   ► hard to do and they're super hard to [TS]

00:59:46 ◼   ► sustain to work with the same people for [TS]

00:59:49 ◼   ► 10 years to get things accomplished for [TS]

00:59:51 ◼   ► 10 years and to keep whatever you're [TS]

00:59:52 ◼   ► doing a secret for 10 years all those [TS]

00:59:54 ◼   ► independently are super hard but it's [TS]

00:59:55 ◼   ► what every conspiracy requires three of [TS]

00:59:57 ◼   ► the most difficult things in the world [TS]

00:59:59 ◼   ► so it's so ironic [TS]

00:59:59 ◼   ► so it's so ironic [TS]

01:00:00 ◼   ► to me that the people who are the least [TS]

01:00:01 ◼   ► trustful in the world being conspiracy [TS]

01:00:03 ◼   ► theorists they got they got a reason for [TS]

01:00:04 ◼   ► everything [TS]

01:00:05 ◼   ► they'll figure out all these things but [TS]

01:00:07 ◼   ► the people who trust least in the world [TS]

01:00:09 ◼   ► have an incredibly bizarre idea of how [TS]

01:00:11 ◼   ► much bad guys can trust each other right [TS]

01:00:14 ◼   ► oh my god totally bananas that did you [TS]

01:00:16 ◼   ► could pull off something as large as [TS]

01:00:17 ◼   ► like having stuff up here on the money [TS]

01:00:19 ◼   ► and nobody would figure out except this [TS]

01:00:21 ◼   ► one guy and so but like those guys never [TS]

01:00:24 ◼   ► told anybody else like how does that [TS]

01:00:25 ◼   ► work is America like how does that work [TS]

01:00:27 ◼   ► yeah well and I i think i have the [TS]

01:00:31 ◼   ► advantage and I feel like I feel like my [TS]

01:00:35 ◼   ► by my friends share this advantage but [TS]

01:00:39 ◼   ► but my peculiar advantage is that i [TS]

01:00:43 ◼   ► really do not think that there are that [TS]

01:00:47 ◼   ► there's anybody out there that's any [TS]

01:00:48 ◼   ► smarter than I am and that is that is an [TS]

01:00:54 ◼   ► advantage for me and also you know can [TS]

01:00:56 ◼   ► can can be a disadvantage but I hear [TS]

01:00:58 ◼   ► people all the time say like well you [TS]

01:01:01 ◼   ► know that's just their just those people [TS]

01:01:02 ◼   ► that are just up there there are just a [TS]

01:01:04 ◼   ► lot smarter than the rest of us and they [TS]

01:01:06 ◼   ► are doing things that we don't [TS]

01:01:07 ◼   ► understand I just another form of [TS]

01:01:09 ◼   ► magical thinking right and I just don't [TS]

01:01:10 ◼   ► believe it I I have met a lot of people [TS]

01:01:13 ◼   ► in my life across a wide spectrum and [TS]

01:01:16 ◼   ► some of them people that have tremendous [TS]

01:01:18 ◼   ► power and I just don't I I I mean I have [TS]

01:01:21 ◼   ► met people where I'm like wow you're [TS]

01:01:23 ◼   ► smart like that you I like the way you [TS]

01:01:25 ◼   ► talk or I like the way you think but [TS]

01:01:28 ◼   ► smarter than me man you know [TS]

01:01:31 ◼   ► no I mean not really and so the idea [TS]

01:01:35 ◼   ► that so as a result of that I feel like [TS]

01:01:39 ◼   ► my interpersonal relationships with [TS]

01:01:42 ◼   ► people are a are a template for how [TS]

01:01:46 ◼   ► people interact with one another [TS]

01:01:48 ◼   ► I don't feel like my interactions with [TS]

01:01:49 ◼   ► people are principally that different [TS]

01:01:52 ◼   ► from the way any other person interacts [TS]

01:01:54 ◼   ► with any other people and if if I cannot [TS]

01:02:01 ◼   ► keep a kippah conspiracy going among my [TS]

01:02:05 ◼   ► friends for more than four weeks [TS]

01:02:10 ◼   ► let's say if I can't keep if I can't [TS]

01:02:13 ◼   ► tell one person a secret and not hear it [TS]

01:02:15 ◼   ► back from a third-person four weeks [TS]

01:02:18 ◼   ► later then how could anybody right and [TS]

01:02:22 ◼   ► like my my group of friends is a for my [TS]

01:02:25 ◼   ► group of associates and my experience in [TS]

01:02:27 ◼   ► the world is just a I can extrapolate [TS]

01:02:30 ◼   ► from that to see what human behavior is [TS]

01:02:33 ◼   ► who and it's you know it's one of the [TS]

01:02:36 ◼   ► it's one of sort of my theories of my [TS]

01:02:40 ◼   ► growing like the book that I'm about to [TS]

01:02:44 ◼   ► write on feminism which I know you're [TS]

01:02:46 ◼   ► going to be fascinated by but like all [TS]

01:02:51 ◼   ► of the most powerful people in my life [TS]

01:02:53 ◼   ► are women and always happen and that [TS]

01:02:59 ◼   ► does not square with the cultural [TS]

01:03:03 ◼   ► narrative that we've all accepted that [TS]

01:03:07 ◼   ► women are in at a disadvantage position [TS]

01:03:13 ◼   ► these are the men like clearly they [TS]

01:03:16 ◼   ► clearly this the culture is structured [TS]

01:03:19 ◼   ► so that men are in charge in in air [TS]

01:03:23 ◼   ► quotes but in my own life the women are [TS]

01:03:27 ◼   ► in charge and that's true of everybody i [TS]

01:03:31 ◼   ► know it's true of every woman i know [TS]

01:03:33 ◼   ► it's true of every man i know there's no [TS]

01:03:35 ◼   ► i don't know a single man that is really [TS]

01:03:38 ◼   ► in charge of the women in his family and [TS]

01:03:43 ◼   ► so there is a there's a tremendous [TS]

01:03:46 ◼   ► tension in my own first-hand experience [TS]

01:03:49 ◼   ► between what I perceive to be real on [TS]

01:03:54 ◼   ► the on the spin the small-scale in the [TS]

01:03:57 ◼   ► microcosm of my own life and what I'm [TS]

01:03:59 ◼   ► being told is true in the macrocosm [TS]

01:04:03 ◼   ► and it's always anecdotal well this [TS]

01:04:06 ◼   ► person that person will this statistic [TS]

01:04:08 ◼   ► that statistic but in the end the [TS]

01:04:11 ◼   ► reality of how I perceive life i live in [TS]

01:04:15 ◼   ► a matriarchal culture and the perception [TS]

01:04:19 ◼   ► of our culture being patriarchal is a is [TS]

01:04:24 ◼   ► a is it a question i'm interested in [TS]

01:04:26 ◼   ► unraveling I I have a theory as to why [TS]

01:04:30 ◼   ► we perceive it that way and certainly [TS]

01:04:35 ◼   ► that there there's a lot of you can [TS]

01:04:38 ◼   ► point to a lot of anecdotal and [TS]

01:04:39 ◼   ► statistical evidence to bolster that [TS]

01:04:42 ◼   ► theory but my and I think everyone's [TS]

01:04:46 ◼   ► firsthand experiences like no mom is the [TS]

01:04:49 ◼   ► head of the family and so was grandma [TS]

01:04:52 ◼   ► and so was great grandma and so how do [TS]

01:04:56 ◼   ► you how do you square the one with the [TS]

01:05:00 ◼   ► other and it's in it and it feels like [TS]

01:05:02 ◼   ► very much in the family of the idea that [TS]

01:05:06 ◼   ► like well in my personal life I you know [TS]

01:05:11 ◼   ► like person x is sleeping with person [TS]

01:05:14 ◼   ► wise wife and everybody knows it except [TS]

01:05:18 ◼   ► for person why but we are all willing to [TS]

01:05:24 ◼   ► believe that the government controls the [TS]

01:05:28 ◼   ► media perfect for the Jews control the [TS]

01:05:31 ◼   ► media you know that there that there are [TS]

01:05:34 ◼   ► that there are international systems [TS]

01:05:37 ◼   ► that are better hundreds and hundreds of [TS]

01:05:39 ◼   ► years old where everything is being [TS]

01:05:40 ◼   ► puppet puppet controlled by people that [TS]

01:05:44 ◼   ► have back engineered alien technology [TS]

01:05:46 ◼   ► but you know better but the people [TS]

01:05:50 ◼   ► around me who have everything at stake [TS]

01:05:53 ◼   ► can't even manage to carry on a simple [TS]

01:05:55 ◼   ► and normal affair with one another [TS]