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Roderick on the Line

Ep. 188: "Crow Meth"

 

00:00:00   this episode of Roderick on the line is [TS]

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00:00:06   now please visit braintree payments calm [TS]

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00:00:10   [Music] [TS]

00:00:15   hello hi John hi Marilyn [TS]

00:00:19   how's it going well you know I'm [TS]

00:00:23   starting off with a little bit of a [TS]

00:00:25   complaint I i thought i had a life hack [TS]

00:00:29   I don't know yeah I you know I have been [TS]

00:00:33   using the same coffee cup here for [TS]

00:00:34   awhile i really love my coffee machine [TS]

00:00:37   that was like it's bad to keep using the [TS]

00:00:40   same coffee cup over and over without [TS]

00:00:42   really washing it [TS]

00:00:43   uh-huh sounds like what am I gonna do [TS]

00:00:46   all right in the pantry I have a [TS]

00:00:49   thousand little disposable white cups [TS]

00:00:51   that people bring the parties and stuff [TS]

00:00:54   i'll just take the cups down that will [TS]

00:00:57   be its it's bad it's not eco-friendly [TS]

00:00:59   but these cups were already made right [TS]

00:01:03   there they were headed to the lands like [TS]

00:01:04   it's like fur coats you don't have one [TS]

00:01:06   made but you it's okay to adopt one [TS]

00:01:08   right right so i get down here i got my [TS]

00:01:11   stack cups I'm feeling like a real smart [TS]

00:01:13   guy put them in the copy machine turns [TS]

00:01:17   out the cup isn't quite big enough for [TS]

00:01:21   the for the long shot [TS]

00:01:23   so that copy was pouring over the side a [TS]

00:01:27   little bit and then I reach to pick it [TS]

00:01:29   up and the cup is not made to handle hot [TS]

00:01:33   liquids either it's too flimsy [TS]

00:01:35   Oh No so then it spilled on my pants and [TS]

00:01:39   explore my hand and hot [TS]

00:01:41   oh my god what a horrible way to start [TS]

00:01:43   you down so sorry you're starting over [TS]

00:01:45   oh no I mean how do you push a reset [TS]

00:01:47   button on something like that do you [TS]

00:01:48   keep extra pants at the office trousers [TS]

00:01:50   you know the fact is i do but i just [TS]

00:01:53   don't know if they are there if they're [TS]

00:01:55   right for this weather it's all money to [TS]

00:01:58   local here now check on the Seattle [TS]

00:02:00   whether it's kind of a nice day [TS]

00:02:02   it's getting there as we say it's [TS]

00:02:03   getting there getting there getting [TS]

00:02:05   there are four neighbor bag once again [TS]

00:02:07   back to 490 james street [TS]

00:02:09   it looks like it's a mostly cloudy and [TS]

00:02:11   48 feels like 46mm it's gonna be mostly [TS]

00:02:14   cloudy for the next hour with rain [TS]

00:02:16   starting this afternoon [TS]

00:02:17   oh ok these pants are some very old very [TS]

00:02:23   cool [TS]

00:02:25   heavy heavy wool hunting pants [TS]

00:02:28   pants that you could they kind of Last [TS]

00:02:30   of the Mohicans pants you know what I [TS]

00:02:32   mean like they you could go down the st. [TS]

00:02:36   Lawrence River in a birchbark canoe in [TS]

00:02:40   these pants and at least your legs [TS]

00:02:42   wouldn't be cold [TS]

00:02:43   that's nice that's super specific yeah [TS]

00:02:45   right no chance of Cooper James Fenimore [TS]

00:02:48   Cooper pants we called him and so I mean [TS]

00:02:51   he wouldn't have had access to these [TS]

00:02:52   pants [TS]

00:02:53   no he was writing about the pants it's a [TS]

00:02:54   remote play yeah right exactly he was he [TS]

00:02:57   was wearing dear a suede here's where [TS]

00:03:00   stocks fits but these are like these are [TS]

00:03:03   what the people of the forties built to [TS]

00:03:08   to me to not make you have to wear a [TS]

00:03:11   deerstalker tape pierced her pants right [TS]

00:03:14   these listen the nineties are going to [TS]

00:03:16   make the sixties look like the fifties [TS]

00:03:18   I'm so sorry I uh I don't like to brag [TS]

00:03:24   know who you know that about the last [TS]

00:03:27   thing you like to do uh and i'm kind of [TS]

00:03:30   mostly out of the the life hacks racket [TS]

00:03:32   at this point but I kind of killed it [TS]

00:03:34   last night [TS]

00:03:35   oh you like fact I'll I fact you know I [TS]

00:03:38   just the same pretty much every day [TS]

00:03:40   mhm and one of the staples of my [TS]

00:03:42   wardrobe is just under half a dozen of [TS]

00:03:45   these american apparel long sleeve [TS]

00:03:47   t-shirts [TS]

00:03:48   it's a good tee shirt it's a t-shirt [TS]

00:03:49   with long sleeves and it's like a [TS]

00:03:51   miracle american-made in an [TS]

00:03:53   american-made sweatshop [TS]

00:03:57   but my problem is between bacon grease [TS]

00:04:00   and bleach I end up ruining a lot of [TS]

00:04:02   shirts Oh things with bleach you need [TS]

00:04:06   very very very little exposure to bleach [TS]

00:04:09   your be careful with bleach so I've had [TS]

00:04:11   this one that I really like it's one of [TS]

00:04:13   my favorites is a black one and I've had [TS]

00:04:16   it for I don't know three four five [TS]

00:04:17   years and it had a bleach like an orange [TS]

00:04:20   orange white bleach stain on the writer [TS]

00:04:25   on the abdomen but the size of a pin [TS]

00:04:27   believe just big enough need to be [TS]

00:04:30   noticeable and make it look like you're [TS]

00:04:32   wearing a shirt with bleach on it and [TS]

00:04:33   can you guess what I did em did you [TS]

00:04:37   speckle the whole shirt with bleach so [TS]

00:04:39   you look like a like a american apparel [TS]

00:04:42   bleach leopard get over you huh [TS]

00:04:47   that is good that I would be boiling the [TS]

00:04:49   ocean that way although i think that's a [TS]

00:04:50   good direction it was going to boil your [TS]

00:04:52   if you're heavily committed to the beach [TS]

00:04:53   lifestyle [TS]

00:04:55   what word sharpie what all sharpie pow [TS]

00:04:59   I was sitting there was like oh I [TS]

00:05:01   already look so shitty as it is i'm [TS]

00:05:02   wearing my pants that i always wear my [TS]

00:05:04   pants that can stand on their own and I [TS]

00:05:06   thought you know what I'm going to class [TS]

00:05:08   it up had to go out somewhere i had to [TS]

00:05:09   visit with people [TS]

00:05:10   yeah and so I took a sharpie with two [TS]

00:05:13   little strokes of a sharpie [TS]

00:05:14   Oh nobody knows the difference that's [TS]

00:05:16   wonderful isn't a life hack [TS]

00:05:17   yeah that's beautiful you know I i I've [TS]

00:05:20   used a sharpie for a similar purpose you [TS]

00:05:23   know I have I had a leather jacket for [TS]

00:05:25   many many years starting in the nineteen [TS]

00:05:28   eighties this is the one with the liquid [TS]

00:05:29   paper on it yeah and at a certain point [TS]

00:05:31   in the early early nineties I was like [TS]

00:05:33   you know this leather jacket would be [TS]

00:05:35   better with some white accents so i put [TS]

00:05:36   so i put wite-out on it all over it [TS]

00:05:41   frankly make a skull [TS]

00:05:43   no no I didn't draw it but i just went [TS]

00:05:45   down all the seams you know he was sort [TS]

00:05:49   of like like military tunic highlights [TS]

00:05:51   yeah right like it like a little bit [TS]

00:05:53   like a little bunting like that blazer [TS]

00:05:55   the guy in the prisoner that's right [TS]

00:05:57   except i did it with whiteout on the on [TS]

00:05:59   the leather jacket and I really liked it [TS]

00:06:02   just you know really you see the [TS]

00:06:03   brushstrokes you see the impasto well [TS]

00:06:06   yeah but I mean I did a few i did a few [TS]

00:06:07   layers i used a couple of things will [TS]

00:06:09   of liquid paper and then as the years [TS]

00:06:12   went on so that was you know early early [TS]

00:06:14   nineties for that some Soundgarden shows [TS]

00:06:17   in bars you know back in the old days [TS]

00:06:20   and then at a certain point along the [TS]

00:06:22   way I i discovered white ink pens [TS]

00:06:27   yeah and you know the the whiteout kind [TS]

00:06:30   of crumble this kind of laundry marker [TS]

00:06:32   you can get that is another switch [TS]

00:06:35   talking about it's almost like a little [TS]

00:06:36   can of paint in the shape of a pen and [TS]

00:06:39   you push down on this big nib and that [TS]

00:06:42   makes like it really works really well [TS]

00:06:44   they're beautiful little paint things [TS]

00:06:46   and some of them have a little pearl [TS]

00:06:47   essence to them so I so I got one of [TS]

00:06:51   those and i went over the you know the [TS]

00:06:53   stuff with this this like little paint [TS]

00:06:55   pen and then I was really popping then [TS]

00:06:59   at a certain point in the in the two [TS]

00:07:02   thousands kind of long past the point [TS]

00:07:05   that i should have been wearing around [TS]

00:07:06   up like a leather jacket full of flair [TS]

00:07:08   your motorcycle jacket no I was like [TS]

00:07:11   that's a little too flash I I kind of [TS]

00:07:14   went overboard and so then I took a [TS]

00:07:17   sharpie and I went back over the liquid [TS]

00:07:20   paper in you know select ways so that i [TS]

00:07:24   toned it down a little bit [TS]

00:07:26   also it was like a cover-up that you [TS]

00:07:27   yeah right and this and the Sharpie more [TS]

00:07:32   or less return the jacket to to its [TS]

00:07:35   original for leather color and I was [TS]

00:07:38   like wow all you have to really a [TS]

00:07:40   sharpie is so good for everything and I [TS]

00:07:43   think I think I'm actually really i'm [TS]

00:07:45   actually gonna put that jacket on the [TS]

00:07:48   ebay talking about this for awhile it's [TS]

00:07:50   too big for you will too big I mean it [TS]

00:07:54   you know I used to wear with a sweater [TS]

00:07:56   even though that's not the canonical met [TS]

00:07:59   motorcycle jacket vibe that's not [TS]

00:08:01   unusual though I mean like I by my doc [TS]

00:08:03   martens a little bit big [TS]

00:08:05   because I'm exactly between the two [TS]

00:08:06   British sizes so i just know to wear [TS]

00:08:08   fluffy socks [TS]

00:08:09   that's just part of this part of the [TS]

00:08:10   ensemble yeah yeah that was a that was [TS]

00:08:12   my thinking at the time you know do at [TS]

00:08:15   the time right after I mean I probably [TS]

00:08:17   said this before but you know when [TS]

00:08:18   you're big [TS]

00:08:19   it's hard to find things that fit you [TS]

00:08:21   well [TS]

00:08:22   and then when you do find stuff you're [TS]

00:08:23   like oh I should get the biggest uh-huh [TS]

00:08:26   because you're so used to you know to [TS]

00:08:28   having things that don't fit so it was [TS]

00:08:31   like I got the biggest huh [TS]

00:08:33   and then you know it's fine it's great [TS]

00:08:35   for layering but be addressed it's you [TS]

00:08:39   know that bit that the 1i where [TS]

00:08:42   motorcycle jacket out now it just looks [TS]

00:08:45   like a dad in a motorcycle track i hate [TS]

00:08:52   hate to say that um have you done any [TS]

00:08:58   more stuff to get started with the ebay [TS]

00:09:00   store [TS]

00:09:01   well I don't you know far be it for me [TS]

00:09:04   to come on this program and talk shit [TS]

00:09:07   about ebay em but I put a lot of work [TS]

00:09:10   into getting my stuff up there you know [TS]

00:09:15   I I did I probably did 20 items where i [TS]

00:09:19   put in seven pictures and long [TS]

00:09:22   descriptions of them and put in all [TS]

00:09:24   their filled in all their their [TS]

00:09:26   categories and then you know how you [TS]

00:09:29   know I am i odd i didn't want to just [TS]

00:09:31   launch it [TS]

00:09:33   I wanted to kind of let it stew little [TS]

00:09:35   bit and and think about it I didn't want [TS]

00:09:38   to just go live because once your live [TS]

00:09:40   it's it's an auction it's like you can't [TS]

00:09:42   take it back [TS]

00:09:43   it's running and so I didn't want to let [TS]

00:09:48   the rabbits out of the gate you know in [TS]

00:09:50   the big rabbit race and so I sat on it [TS]

00:09:54   for a while and I thought about and I [TS]

00:09:56   looked at my sat on it and it said right [TS]

00:09:58   there at these things go well what [TS]

00:10:01   happens that we keep these they say it [TS]

00:10:03   real casual we keep these for 30 days [TS]

00:10:06   uh-huh and I was like yeah well don't [TS]

00:10:09   know why would you ever let why would [TS]

00:10:10   you you could do a skype thing where [TS]

00:10:13   like your money has gone dormant yeah [TS]

00:10:16   your money gets doorman on the Internet [TS]

00:10:17   yeah that doesn't mean anything because [TS]

00:10:19   you go on you push a button and the [TS]

00:10:20   money comes back but it must be some tax [TS]

00:10:23   thing right you said he got to get off [TS]

00:10:26   the books after you get off it looks it [TS]

00:10:27   went dormant you push a button the money [TS]

00:10:29   comes this is why I don't like banks the [TS]

00:10:31   whole idea of money going dorm is very [TS]

00:10:33   troubling [TS]

00:10:33   mm seems like to me if it can go [TS]

00:10:35   Norman it wasn't money it's well yeah [TS]

00:10:37   exactly because money is fake but it was [TS]

00:10:39   but you know on skype they have they've [TS]

00:10:42   got me into putting I don't know how [TS]

00:10:44   much i have on skype now 50 bucks or [TS]

00:10:46   something like that because every time i [TS]

00:10:47   go on there like you don't have any [TS]

00:10:48   money on my shit alright i put more [TS]

00:10:51   money in please [TS]

00:10:52   what do you spend money on skype or you [TS]

00:10:53   be buying like clothes for cats or [TS]

00:10:55   something with no I mean I put money on [TS]

00:10:57   skype because i like to call i like to [TS]

00:10:59   call people in Europe ok or something [TS]

00:11:02   you know i like to call people on their [TS]

00:11:04   on their phones [TS]

00:11:05   uh-huh skype like you can't do that you [TS]

00:11:07   have to pay money for that [TS]

00:11:09   so you're uh alright alright alright i [TS]

00:11:12   put money in them and then they're like [TS]

00:11:13   oh do you want to go over here where [TS]

00:11:14   your other money was google voice I [TS]

00:11:16   still have ten dollars in google voice [TS]

00:11:18   and have no idea how to spend it with my [TS]

00:11:19   brother puts it wasn't for sure why I [TS]

00:11:22   did it [TS]

00:11:22   no Suh seen some of the zero balance you [TS]

00:11:24   know it's troubling yeah I don't like a [TS]

00:11:26   zero balance but I also you know I also [TS]

00:11:29   don't mind zero balance if it's a thing [TS]

00:11:31   i'm not going to use yeah but so anyway [TS]

00:11:33   just all this work to get my ebay store [TS]

00:11:35   ready and then I was like you know I [TS]

00:11:38   kind of wanted to have some fanfare when [TS]

00:11:40   i launched it i wanted there to be a [TS]

00:11:42   like maybe hire a band you know maybe [TS]

00:11:46   some Rip Torn confetti you know like wow [TS]

00:11:49   rip tail Rip Taylor not rip torn tendon [TS]

00:11:54   him and he ripped a Larry Sanders guy [TS]

00:11:56   rip torn right ACL were no way man [TS]

00:11:59   retailer retailers the colorful a [TS]

00:12:01   comedian with the confetti pockets and [TS]

00:12:02   rip torn is the is the Hollywood actor [TS]

00:12:05   oh IC ensign and Rick Rick Taylor was [TS]

00:12:08   the was the guitar player for the for [TS]

00:12:10   the faces no no I think it Mick Taylor [TS]

00:12:13   or you might be thinking of Charles [TS]

00:12:15   Nelson Reilly or or masa plea Ric Flair [TS]

00:12:18   the oh it was Ric Flair that reflect Ric [TS]

00:12:21   Flair was the guitars with with ronnie [TS]

00:12:23   lane in the faces right [TS]

00:12:24   ok so anyway so I can when I finally [TS]

00:12:27   went back on my ebay store a couple of [TS]

00:12:29   days ago kind of ready to I wasn't ready [TS]

00:12:32   to launch it let's be honest but i [TS]

00:12:33   wanted to look at it again and get more [TS]

00:12:35   ready you need time to sit with it right [TS]

00:12:37   as one of the units all right well like [TS]

00:12:39   you say once it's up mean I I totally [TS]

00:12:41   know what you mean you want to be [TS]

00:12:42   purchased I'm gonna come and look at [TS]

00:12:43   this am I not look at this for a while [TS]

00:12:44   it's like drafting something like I want [TS]

00:12:46   to spend a lot of time on this and then [TS]

00:12:48   i would not think about it for [TS]

00:12:49   her cell and come back i look at me just [TS]

00:12:51   got a little bit like what's the hurry [TS]

00:12:52   here Johnny that's right what's the [TS]

00:12:54   hurry and come back a little bit later [TS]

00:12:55   in the fullness of time i will know when [TS]

00:12:58   this is ready [TS]

00:12:59   this will tell me when it is ready yeah [TS]

00:13:00   except thank you that's exactly right [TS]

00:13:03   I'm not saying when the ebay store is [TS]

00:13:05   ready the ebay started telling me when [TS]

00:13:07   it's ready and you know when i launched [TS]

00:13:10   it i want all those people that are [TS]

00:13:11   interested in it to be sitting out there [TS]

00:13:13   with their virtual catcher's mitts ready [TS]

00:13:15   to receive the pitch their virtual money [TS]

00:13:17   with their what their that's right with [TS]

00:13:20   their dormant money hopefully not [TS]

00:13:21   dormant money ready to reactivate the [TS]

00:13:23   money to bid on the things i go back [TS]

00:13:25   there and so the all the words that i [TS]

00:13:29   wrote is still there which is nice i'm [TS]

00:13:31   glad for that but all the pictures are [TS]

00:13:33   just have great out or they've turned [TS]

00:13:36   into those little those little fake like [TS]

00:13:40   holy soldiers yeah Polaroid looking [TS]

00:13:42   things [TS]

00:13:42   polaroid looking placeholders and i'm [TS]

00:13:45   searching all around and and then so I [TS]

00:13:49   have a pretty new laptop let's be honest [TS]

00:13:52   i bought it when I well I bought it when [TS]

00:13:55   everything got stolen in the great the [TS]

00:13:59   Great possible or so you've had it for [TS]

00:14:02   almost exactly a year [TS]

00:14:04   well I didn't buy right away so I less [TS]

00:14:06   than a year now but it definitely send [TS]

00:14:07   Steve Jobs died [TS]

00:14:09   oh yeah host Steve Jobs one ok I mean [TS]

00:14:12   it's not like it's not worth anything [TS]

00:14:14   right now like those pre Steve Jobs [TS]

00:14:16   remember what you got what model it is [TS]

00:14:17   it's the I didn't get the air because it [TS]

00:14:21   will get a macbook with one port are you [TS]

00:14:23   got a macbook with more than one point I [TS]

00:14:25   got that they got to get more than one [TS]

00:14:26   ported okay then just want one no [TS]

00:14:28   worries and Herschel is very [TS]

00:14:30   controversial oh ok good good got it as [TS]

00:14:33   a good computer it's a nice computer but [TS]

00:14:35   so I'm doing this on the one doing this [TS]

00:14:37   on the looking at my ebay and I'm like [TS]

00:14:38   we're my stores go or mice my pictures [TS]

00:14:41   go and then what pops up [TS]

00:14:43   Oh your Adobe Flash plugin isn't current [TS]

00:14:49   well because i'm using chrome sorry I [TS]

00:14:52   should have said Who [TS]

00:14:54   and so I can give [TS]

00:14:57   shit you know some going around trying [TS]

00:15:00   to update my adobe and then I get to a [TS]

00:15:06   place where I'm trying to update my [TS]

00:15:07   adobe and chrome says well listen if you [TS]

00:15:09   update your chrome your it automatically [TS]

00:15:12   update your Adobe oh and i can also i [TS]

00:15:15   gotta update chrome and then I'm in [TS]

00:15:18   there monkey around and it says hey [TS]

00:15:22   wouldn't you like to update your OS to [TS]

00:15:25   El Capitan [TS]

00:15:26   oh sure I'm I don't know I guess [TS]

00:15:31   yes is that the I mean when when apple [TS]

00:15:34   offers you the opportunity to update [TS]

00:15:35   your software that's usually a mixed bag [TS]

00:15:38   of of fruits and nuts [TS]

00:15:40   it's it's used to be an easier to answer [TS]

00:15:42   question and I think the answer over [TS]

00:15:44   time has become more complicated i think [TS]

00:15:46   the answer is I'm not sure key tell me [TS]

00:15:47   more about what that means [TS]

00:15:48   that's right that's exactly how an [TS]

00:15:50   ancient computer work faster now might [TS]

00:15:52   make a computer network as much not work [TS]

00:15:54   as much as exactly right and so I'm like [TS]

00:15:57   that's a new it's a very new computer so [TS]

00:16:00   I feel like upgrading to El Capitan is a [TS]

00:16:05   thing that if this computer which is [TS]

00:16:07   seven and a half months old can't handle [TS]

00:16:09   it feels like that's a betrayal right [TS]

00:16:12   like I'm not gonna I'm not gonna update [TS]

00:16:14   my my my desktop here your little your [TS]

00:16:18   little don't you like an old look just [TS]

00:16:22   like an old white laptop for a long time [TS]

00:16:25   i did i did i put somebody stole back [TS]

00:16:26   for me in Chile oh that's the one we [TS]

00:16:29   bought the photo of us on the show are [TS]

00:16:31   tall is that day was searching that's [TS]

00:16:33   such a beautiful computer and we really [TS]

00:16:34   loved it here at the at Roderick [TS]

00:16:36   Roderick group but I took it down to [TS]

00:16:40   Chile and I was sitting in a i was using [TS]

00:16:43   it [TS]

00:16:43   let's be honest in a bus station in [TS]

00:16:46   chile and somebody saw me use it and [TS]

00:16:48   then I i put it in a bag and i said to [TS]

00:16:51   my partner you know watch the bags and [TS]

00:16:56   she said of course and i went to the [TS]

00:16:59   bathroom and I came out and the it was [TS]

00:17:01   gone I was like I thought you were [TS]

00:17:03   watching the bags and she was like I was [TS]

00:17:04   also make sure to pull over the RV [TS]

00:17:06   before we get there [TS]

00:17:07   but she wasn't that's right different [TS]

00:17:10   partner [TS]

00:17:10   oh ok good but it's a problem because [TS]

00:17:14   she was playing solitaire or something [TS]

00:17:16   and somebody came over and I think [TS]

00:17:18   somebody probably walked by I was like [TS]

00:17:20   look at that over there ideas so that so [TS]

00:17:24   that is gone but you know here i'm using [TS]

00:17:26   i'm using a a a 2.16 gigahertz intel [TS]

00:17:30   core2duo here on this computer i'm not [TS]

00:17:34   gonna put el capitan on this [TS]

00:17:36   wow that's amazing yeah so I got a 4 [TS]

00:17:39   gigahertz intel core i7 blue m 4 [TS]

00:17:43   gigahertz hmmm can econ 102 pow wow i'm [TS]

00:17:48   most excited about my graphics card [TS]

00:17:49   though which is an AMD radeon r9 n 2 95 [TS]

00:17:53   x with the 4096 megabytes see what this [TS]

00:17:58   will even tell me what garbage want to [TS]

00:17:59   go to your Apple in the upper left-hand [TS]

00:18:01   hitting about this mac well I did that [TS]

00:18:04   ok so this is an imac it's an intel core [TS]

00:18:07   do 20 it has one processor 2 cores a4 [TS]

00:18:13   megabyte l2 cache [TS]

00:18:15   Wow gigabyte memory 2 gigabytes two gigs [TS]

00:18:19   uh oh my goodness it's got a 632 30 to [TS]

00:18:23   32 gig we do with all those gigs I guess [TS]

00:18:27   you just you just you harness those up [TS]

00:18:30   and ride to town they pulled every I get [TS]

00:18:33   the more memory my computer gets oh i [TS]

00:18:35   see that's smart [TS]

00:18:36   so it says way John's here I got here I [TS]

00:18:39   graphic yeah i gotta i get here's my [TS]

00:18:41   chipset model ok could also ok sure it's [TS]

00:18:44   a radeon x1600 that's nice that's nice [TS]

00:18:48   yeah it's got 228 megabytes of vram well [TS]

00:18:52   good [TS]

00:18:53   it is called victory ram oh yeah I feel [TS]

00:18:56   like it's got a lot of victories [TS]

00:18:57   computer says hello John from cupertino [TS]

00:18:59   would you like to upgrade to El Capitan [TS]

00:19:02   yeah and so I go all right you guys [TS]

00:19:05   you've done this to me 50 times before [TS]

00:19:07   but sure sure I want to see my ebay [TS]

00:19:10   pictures and I want to get I want to I [TS]

00:19:13   want to make sure that the reason i [TS]

00:19:14   can't see it is that adobe has decided [TS]

00:19:16   that I'm [TS]

00:19:17   did a new thing which they seem to do [TS]

00:19:19   every week and a half and now all i [TS]

00:19:22   gotta update chrome God knows I don't [TS]

00:19:24   want to have the wrong chrome and that's [TS]

00:19:26   like all right let's go the whole hog [TS]

00:19:28   Here I am Here I am I got my pants on [TS]

00:19:31   let's get the new el capitan at which [TS]

00:19:34   point the computer immediately he says [TS]

00:19:36   I'm gonna need an hour to think about [TS]

00:19:38   this [TS]

00:19:40   I'm gonna tell you it's 28 minutes but [TS]

00:19:42   it's really gonna be more like an hour [TS]

00:19:44   yes I think of all the improvements [TS]

00:19:45   apple makes progress bar accuracy is not [TS]

00:19:48   one of them [TS]

00:19:48   yeah right so then I'm done I'm sitting [TS]

00:19:50   there I'm like oh shit man i was already [TS]

00:19:52   and now I'm duelin yes I'm sorry I'm [TS]

00:19:56   spinning my thumbs [TS]

00:19:58   you got something to do your unique [TS]

00:19:59   needs a store up i got it i want to see [TS]

00:20:01   my pics [TS]

00:20:02   that's right so all this stuff happens [TS]

00:20:05   like yes I got upgrade to el capit├ín [TS]

00:20:08   yes I get a new I get a new chrome which [TS]

00:20:12   came with a new Adobe everything checks [TS]

00:20:15   out i restart the computer couple of [TS]

00:20:19   times just to make sure that everything [TS]

00:20:21   settled in you know you gotta shake it a [TS]

00:20:23   little bit so that all the stuff settles [TS]

00:20:25   to the bottom and then no i didn't [TS]

00:20:29   the pictures were gone it wasn't adobe [TS]

00:20:32   because the pictures i don't imagine [TS]

00:20:34   that would have to do with flash who [TS]

00:20:37   knows what new we shut why would we need [TS]

00:20:40   to know where just the users who knows [TS]

00:20:42   what flash does it's telling me all the [TS]

00:20:44   time to upgrade my flash and when I do [TS]

00:20:46   all it does is it makes the intrusive [TS]

00:20:49   advertisements happier I can't let that [TS]

00:20:53   stop you at buddy you put the flash on [TS]

00:20:55   there and all of a sudden all the things [TS]

00:20:57   where it was like okay play the ad now [TS]

00:20:59   it's like i can play the add black so [TS]

00:21:03   anyway suffice to say that ebay [TS]

00:21:05   inexplicably decides after 30 days for [TS]

00:21:09   no good reason that I can tell just [TS]

00:21:11   because they don't want to use their [TS]

00:21:13   memory because they're probably in the [TS]

00:21:14   clewd and there it's like oh you're [TS]

00:21:17   taking up are clued memory and somebody [TS]

00:21:19   in cupertino is charging us extra extra [TS]

00:21:22   virtual dollars and so it sucks [TS]

00:21:26   so they don't make the pictures dormant [TS]

00:21:28   they just say that they're gone [TS]

00:21:32   that's so now i gotta go and put all the [TS]

00:21:35   pictures back [TS]

00:21:36   I can't believe these words are gonna [TS]

00:21:38   come out of my mouth because i'm going [TS]

00:21:39   to this is one of the things around [TS]

00:21:40   going to do this phonetically so be [TS]

00:21:41   patient with me [TS]

00:21:42   alright okay have you thought about [TS]

00:21:44   using etsy look I think Betsy might be [TS]

00:21:50   more what you're looking for because [TS]

00:21:51   etsy is a place where you make a little [TS]

00:21:53   store i think that's what you're doing [TS]

00:21:55   here [TS]

00:21:55   you know you're not really doing an [TS]

00:21:56   auction you're doing kind of a store i [TS]

00:21:58   think well it's true except that i have [TS]

00:22:01   thought about it and i think i may have [TS]

00:22:02   even been contacted by somebody from [TS]

00:22:04   etsy who listens to this program they're [TS]

00:22:08   very good very good company [TS]

00:22:10   yeah they write me a lot of stuff on [TS]

00:22:11   their sites pretty wackadoodle but I I [TS]

00:22:13   know a guy who's the one of the big [TS]

00:22:15   shots there and he's the best [TS]

00:22:16   oh nice well i will i love to go on a [TS]

00:22:20   sec uh huh and say and if you kept your [TS]

00:22:23   listener raise your hand high because [TS]

00:22:26   you go on there and you're like Who a [TS]

00:22:28   look at this somebody really this is [TS]

00:22:30   nice but the thing about etsy is that [TS]

00:22:33   you have to decide what the what you [TS]

00:22:36   want to get for the thing and you know I [TS]

00:22:39   don't want to say to somebody all this [TS]

00:22:41   is worth a hundred dollars because it's [TS]

00:22:43   like yeah I don't know how much of that [TS]

00:22:45   how much of this thing is really where [TS]

00:22:48   $75 but there's $25 of emotional [TS]

00:22:51   investment that I want to get paid for [TS]

00:22:53   I feel like a lot of stuff for FC is [TS]

00:22:54   like yeah alright i guess $98 but I'm [TS]

00:22:59   buying this thing sight unseen I can't [TS]

00:23:01   try it on you put three pictures up [TS]

00:23:03   there [TS]

00:23:04   ninety-eight dollars if I saw em I think [TS]

00:23:08   there's a way you could strategize this [TS]

00:23:09   a little bit uh I first of all I mean [TS]

00:23:12   like I said before I don't know anything [TS]

00:23:13   about business so you take that it is [TS]

00:23:16   big with a grain of salt sure but i'm [TS]

00:23:18   thinking you need at least one marquee [TS]

00:23:21   item but I referred to previously as [TS]

00:23:23   Elizabeth Taylor's panties you need [TS]

00:23:25   something you can put up that's going to [TS]

00:23:26   be that's the real fish food though the [TS]

00:23:28   wowzer that gets people to go like oh my [TS]

00:23:30   god I've been hearing about this thing [TS]

00:23:31   forever and there are five people out [TS]

00:23:33   there who might actually pay a premium [TS]

00:23:34   for it and then I think you get a [TS]

00:23:36   handful of like medium price things in [TS]

00:23:39   like [TS]

00:23:39   5200 dollar range and then maybe have [TS]

00:23:41   something where you've got a lot of [TS]

00:23:43   something like tie tacks or cousins or [TS]

00:23:45   kazoos ricci I think so for you you have [TS]

00:23:47   been asking about this because why would [TS]

00:23:48   you but I think you should have little [TS]

00:23:50   packages you could get where you could [TS]

00:23:51   you mail out you get a tie tack and [TS]

00:23:53   kazoo and this but it'sit's you know AQ [TS]

00:23:56   like as available but for like ten bucks [TS]

00:23:58   fifteen bucks whatever you charge for [TS]

00:24:00   that but i think the key is you find out [TS]

00:24:02   what kind of stuff is selling stuff [TS]

00:24:03   makes money what kind of stuff ends up [TS]

00:24:05   being the biggest pain-in-the-ass to do [TS]

00:24:06   you have a pilot program that way but [TS]

00:24:08   you also you you go out of the gate you [TS]

00:24:10   launch with something where we can go [TS]

00:24:11   wow [TS]

00:24:12   John's jacket that has cover up tattoos [TS]

00:24:14   that's something i think five hundred [TS]

00:24:15   dollars for well sure I but you know [TS]

00:24:17   that's the big question is this thing [TS]

00:24:20   worth a hundred dollars because it's got [TS]

00:24:21   white out on it was worth five hundred [TS]

00:24:23   dollars because it's only because you [TS]

00:24:24   talked about in the program sell your [TS]

00:24:25   bathrobe with them without of the Senate [TS]

00:24:27   are how i did i do have I do have that [TS]

00:24:31   bathrobe you know you were mentioning [TS]

00:24:33   Wales last time we visited she mentioned [TS]

00:24:35   recording this a little bit before will [TS]

00:24:36   come out recording this arm on sometimes [TS]

00:24:39   you're really going to give away the [TS]

00:24:41   whole you're gonna give away otherwise [TS]

00:24:42   you're gonna go look at the westin recap [TS]

00:24:43   Mars and go check and see if I got the [TS]

00:24:45   weather right so you know what she [TS]

00:24:47   doesn't have to check because she just [TS]

00:24:48   has it in her mind I don't know how deep [TS]

00:24:51   a wild stuff i don't know how it works [TS]

00:24:53   did she get she needs to 20 seconds to [TS]

00:24:56   access data that is that in a salt mine [TS]

00:24:59   in utah she pulls up some stats that are [TS]

00:25:01   there are pretty precise if you're not [TS]

00:25:04   if it if you're not aware of who can Mar [TS]

00:25:06   Miz ladies and gentlemen that is someone [TS]

00:25:09   you should research [TS]

00:25:10   he's a scientologist that's my [TS]

00:25:11   institution scientifiction choose the [TS]

00:25:13   type of science fiction is not [TS]

00:25:14   Scientology the shots I inition yeah and [TS]

00:25:17   she has a laboratory and she's an artist [TS]

00:25:18   that's true can I mean she's catalog [TS]

00:25:20   everything you're seeing what she does [TS]

00:25:22   with the next sketch i have seen well [TS]

00:25:24   are you kidding me i mean that was my [TS]

00:25:25   introduction to her before I even [TS]

00:25:26   realized she was a she was a Scientifics [TS]

00:25:30   scientist scientist ins and missed [TS]

00:25:34   I I knew her primarily as an artist who [TS]

00:25:36   made who made fantastic art on burnt [TS]

00:25:39   toast sent me a Wilberforce one day in [TS]

00:25:41   wilberforce for me just because you you [TS]

00:25:43   know what I should get the Wilberforce [TS]

00:25:45   I'll hang on to help people keep sending [TS]

00:25:46   me gifts to give you got a whole stack [TS]

00:25:47   here don't know what I would do with a [TS]

00:25:48   while before so i guess i would say mr. [TS]

00:25:50   connects your head phony [TS]

00:25:52   isn't that what you guys do with those [TS]

00:25:53   things you said and stroking with your [TS]

00:25:54   thumb like a like worry beads so I'm [TS]

00:25:58   anytime about talking about your store [TS]

00:26:00   we were talking about [TS]

00:26:02   so here's what i want i wanted what I [TS]

00:26:03   want what what hot want is a guarantee [TS]

00:26:07   no more attempts on my father's life all [TS]

00:26:15   wrong [TS]

00:26:15   good i'm the hunted one is a pimp [TS]

00:26:20   oh never gonna find out outside sent to [TS]

00:26:22   you it was resolved but it wasn't until [TS]

00:26:24   this day that I was email along it was [TS]

00:26:26   presenting alone [TS]

00:26:28   hey Tom old times sake [TS]

00:26:32   oh my own can you give me off sorry [TS]

00:26:35   Sally I do itself yet do it [TS]

00:26:39   listen as I want an excuse w can't do [TS]

00:26:41   that its close-up on my arrangements [TS]

00:26:43   I am I want to get an etsy store i have [TS]

00:26:48   you running right now that we got what I [TS]

00:26:49   was you renounce evil my god i wish i [TS]

00:26:55   could make a organ chord with my mouth [TS]

00:26:58   Oh using a cap marm of the weather lets [TS]

00:27:01   go back we got a jumper cases we need to [TS]

00:27:04   outback solve this really got sera sera [TS]

00:27:06   sera que sera sera kusa that's ahead [TS]

00:27:09   acoustic cool [TS]

00:27:10   who'sa I don't gestate kusa so i have a [TS]

00:27:14   recording of a friend of ours who's in [TS]

00:27:15   Rome saying his name almost John [TS]

00:27:18   satisfaction really from sent to you [TS]

00:27:20   from Rome [TS]

00:27:21   oh yeah direct from Rome you wait for [TS]

00:27:23   this though John makes the distinction [TS]

00:27:25   between the way the italian city is [TS]

00:27:27   pronounced in the way his name is pretty [TS]

00:27:28   well of course and no he's an [TS]

00:27:30   italian-american because insurance your [TS]

00:27:32   kisa sure i did i tell you i was on an [TS]

00:27:35   airplane with somebody other day and I [TS]

00:27:36   was like oh yeah my people are from la [TS]

00:27:38   croissant and that's it Wales that's why [TS]

00:27:42   we got to talking about whales yeah and [TS]

00:27:44   she said she said we're and I said la [TS]

00:27:46   croissance it's outside of Cardiff she [TS]

00:27:48   said where I'm from Carter and I was [TS]

00:27:51   like I know la croissance and she said [TS]

00:27:53   oh I think I know what you're saying [TS]

00:27:57   electra sont it's not that different [TS]

00:28:01   and I was like electricity and she said [TS]

00:28:03   no no [TS]

00:28:04   la license like the French it's all one [TS]

00:28:07   big parlor trick you'll never pronounce [TS]

00:28:09   anything right to those people and I did [TS]

00:28:11   it again love Tresor so here's what I [TS]

00:28:14   don't know lot true something I just I [TS]

00:28:16   was just like I just wanted to throw my [TS]

00:28:17   dasani water 100ml that so that's what [TS]

00:28:21   me as funny you actually nailed it I [TS]

00:28:23   what I remember was what you're talking [TS]

00:28:24   about whales and I went and I looked up [TS]

00:28:26   the Cardiff giant which I remember doing [TS]

00:28:28   an sra card on in fourth grade and the [TS]

00:28:32   Cardiff giant remember part of giant is [TS]

00:28:34   it some kind of gollum made out of clay [TS]

00:28:35   that the Avengers the Jews I could be [TS]

00:28:38   could be like that like Sammy Davis jr. [TS]

00:28:40   go to go look at the Cardiff giant page [TS]

00:28:43   and so this is a great hoax of the 19th [TS]

00:28:44   century with this guy in cardiff found [TS]

00:28:47   this would appear to be some kind of a [TS]

00:28:49   body of this guy with a giant cock who [TS]

00:28:51   is like 10 feet tall [TS]

00:28:53   hello you always see these guys like a [TS]

00:28:55   beer can and so they are and so [TS]

00:28:57   basically it was revealed to be a coax [TS]

00:28:59   why am I telling you this [TS]

00:29:00   a CO hoax hoax that's a saving whales IC [TS]

00:29:03   card box cutter well no no no no Nick [TS]

00:29:07   hooks cut cock kokes so cutting down to [TS]

00:29:11   where currently resides Iowa publisher [TS]

00:29:13   Gordon so eventually revealed to be a [TS]

00:29:15   fraud [TS]

00:29:15   hold on hold on hold on I I Google's [TS]

00:29:18   google Cardiff giant yeah and I've come [TS]

00:29:21   up with Sarah cues Cardiff giant oh [TS]

00:29:24   there's some kind of flipper Rooney this [TS]

00:29:27   might be a switch them up [TS]

00:29:28   look at that wikipedia page you will see [TS]

00:29:30   the cock I'm looking that's in my [TS]

00:29:33   display and for talking to my display in [TS]

00:29:36   syracuse new york in 1869 I get you well [TS]

00:29:39   i'm looking at a picture now and and [TS]

00:29:41   there's a woman sitting this is this [TS]

00:29:43   picture was taken in nineteen twenty or [TS]

00:29:45   something [TS]

00:29:46   there's a woman sitting strategically [TS]

00:29:48   basically on his lap so that you cannot [TS]

00:29:52   see his peanuts [TS]

00:29:54   OIC the woman in the performance fleece [TS]

00:29:57   no this one is in some kind of but not [TS]

00:30:00   others as a dress i look at that [TS]

00:30:02   oh man anyway I dimensions I mention [TS]

00:30:06   this because eventually the Cardiff [TS]

00:30:08   giant was acquired Iowa publisher a [TS]

00:30:10   guard on a great name gardener cows [TS]

00:30:13   junior bought it later to adorn his [TS]

00:30:15   basement rumpus room as a coffee table [TS]

00:30:17   income [TS]

00:30:17   station piece rumpus room I love that [TS]

00:30:20   were in 1947 sold to the farmers museum [TS]

00:30:22   in Cooperstown New York we're still on [TS]

00:30:24   display by the farmers museum in [TS]

00:30:25   Cooperstown the second-largest second [TS]

00:30:27   most famous museum in Cooperstown so [TS]

00:30:30   what I'm trying to say to you is erotic [TS]

00:30:32   you that jacket could be somebody's [TS]

00:30:34   Cardiff giant there might be some paul [TS]

00:30:36   allen type person out there that is just [TS]

00:30:38   waiting for the piece to finish their [TS]

00:30:39   collection you say they're going to [TS]

00:30:41   mount it in a frame and put it on the [TS]

00:30:42   wall of the rumpus room we could put on [TS]

00:30:44   a creepy doll they could put the [TS]

00:30:45   bathrobe in a seminar two bids like put [TS]

00:30:47   that on a dummy i'm just saying fish [TS]

00:30:51   food fish food she explorer.exe alright [TS]

00:30:54   well i have explored explored see quite [TS]

00:30:56   a bit and I feel like you know I've [TS]

00:30:58   almost pulled the trigger on some $60 [TS]

00:31:00   pocket squares before I realized the [TS]

00:31:03   pocket squares were just hang keys that [TS]

00:31:05   you could get a bit like 20 hankies for [TS]

00:31:09   a dollar fifty and so it so I stopped I [TS]

00:31:13   stopped I stopped believing in the whole [TS]

00:31:15   pocket square racket [TS]

00:31:17   uh-huh I i went on i'm not even going to [TS]

00:31:20   say ebay anymore because it's because [TS]

00:31:22   I'm getting frustrated now [TS]

00:31:23   sure you don't you only given publicity [TS]

00:31:25   know is much more and more people are [TS]

00:31:27   going to use it when really I should be [TS]

00:31:29   directing people's attention to FC long [TS]

00:31:31   shield spell my name wrong [TS]

00:31:32   you know what I could probably buy a cat [TS]

00:31:34   mARMS toast carvings on etsy you can buy [TS]

00:31:39   anything at sea but I went on I went on [TS]

00:31:41   the other the other site which shall not [TS]

00:31:43   be named and i ordered a thing that was [TS]

00:31:48   vintage hankies from Poland and they [TS]

00:31:53   came [TS]

00:31:54   ok they cost me two dollars and they [TS]

00:31:58   came and they were things of utmost [TS]

00:32:01   beauty these polish vintage hankies that [TS]

00:32:07   wow that I used now his pocket squares [TS]

00:32:10   and i challenge you a challenge you to a [TS]

00:32:13   find a reason why they are not also [TS]

00:32:17   effective as pocket squares because [TS]

00:32:19   they're gorgeous a hundred percent and [TS]

00:32:21   be there from Poland and see [TS]

00:32:26   fuck you you know what i mean and i see [TS]

00:32:28   is always fuck you and whatever list I [TS]

00:32:30   made [TS]

00:32:30   when I diagram a thing a is something is [TS]

00:32:37   the main thing for you know what you do [TS]

00:32:39   that thing where a is and is not the [TS]

00:32:41   main thing beyond amazing i want to [TS]

00:32:43   start with a minor point i start out [TS]

00:32:44   with the number two number two is just a [TS]

00:32:46   minor point and then I want to save the [TS]

00:32:47   big banger for number number a right [TS]

00:32:50   because that's what you do you say to be [TS]

00:32:52   minor point a then you go to a next [TS]

00:32:56   major point AC C is funky [TS]

00:33:00   lieutenant-colonel point lieutenant [TS]

00:33:03   colonel point river was up to just look [TS]

00:33:05   at regretsy no I have never even heard [TS]

00:33:08   of my fortunes got an essential link to [TS]

00:33:10   a tumblr that his is in its spirit other [TS]

00:33:14   side called regretsy and the the deck [TS]

00:33:16   the description of it was what did you [TS]

00:33:18   make that with your feet and was just [TS]

00:33:20   practical things you could get on etsy [TS]

00:33:22   see now this is something I don't [TS]

00:33:23   understand there are still webpages up [TS]

00:33:26   for auto parts stores where a little [TS]

00:33:29   like a little 8-bit man is down at the [TS]

00:33:32   bottom waving his hand and there's some [TS]

00:33:34   kind of balloons [TS]

00:33:35   why the hell are those still out with [TS]

00:33:38   that we're all there everything's in [TS]

00:33:40   primary colors Obama those are so that's [TS]

00:33:43   Obama I don't those are still up but [TS]

00:33:45   regretsy is gone [TS]

00:33:46   well you know maybe forget the password [TS]

00:33:48   or you know you lose the account for [TS]

00:33:50   some reason it's a shame it's in it's a [TS]

00:33:52   known issue it's a big problem [TS]

00:33:54   well here's a pug with boobs this is so [TS]

00:33:56   this is a bug huh [TS]

00:33:58   this is not this is a feature this is a [TS]

00:33:59   bug well there's lots of reasons it can [TS]

00:34:01   happen [TS]

00:34:01   yeah i mean i don't understand it tho [TS]

00:34:03   somewhere on the internet exists because [TS]

00:34:05   the NSA is has got to have it to [TS]

00:34:08   cross-reference a good point [TS]

00:34:10   so have you thought about any more about [TS]

00:34:11   fulfillment or you're still at the [TS]

00:34:12   getting it up figuring that part out [TS]

00:34:14   phase [TS]

00:34:15   well my mom and I've had a big argument [TS]

00:34:17   about fulfillment and and a frankly an [TS]

00:34:20   ongoing argument [TS]

00:34:21   yeah where I said here's what I want to [TS]

00:34:23   do I want to I want to picture these [TS]

00:34:25   things i want to and then I want to box [TS]

00:34:27   them up and then when it's time to [TS]

00:34:30   fulfill them they're already in a box we [TS]

00:34:33   put a little post-it note on the box [TS]

00:34:34   that tells us what's inside this this [TS]

00:34:36   felt like a life hack when you got a min [TS]

00:34:39   all in boxes and then the [TS]

00:34:42   the they're over and like I just printed [TS]

00:34:43   label and put it on ya just print off [TS]

00:34:46   they go [TS]

00:34:47   and she said well we don't need to put [TS]

00:34:50   them in boxes let's just hang them up on [TS]

00:34:52   this clothes rack and then we'll put [TS]

00:34:55   them in boxes once they sell and I was [TS]

00:34:58   like no listen to the life hack here [TS]

00:35:01   would put them in boxes now we're [TS]

00:35:03   dealing with him now put in boxes now [TS]

00:35:05   put a little post-it note on it we know [TS]

00:35:07   what it is and properly one-off thing [TS]

00:35:08   she said I'm not know why don't we just [TS]

00:35:10   hang them on this clothes hanger rack [TS]

00:35:12   and I said because that's another thing [TS]

00:35:15   to do [TS]

00:35:16   once the things cells once the auctions [TS]

00:35:18   over then you got on the clock is [TS]

00:35:20   ticking at that point yeah then you [TS]

00:35:21   gotta go get them and get the boxes and [TS]

00:35:23   then I'm gonna you know that it's gonna [TS]

00:35:25   be hard enough to print the labels out [TS]

00:35:27   yeah that takes time and and thought and [TS]

00:35:31   she was like nothing I was just and [TS]

00:35:32   she's just she just casual basis but you [TS]

00:35:35   did that thing you hate what she didn't [TS]

00:35:36   exactly argue with you she just kept [TS]

00:35:37   saying the same thing over yeah she just [TS]

00:35:39   casual you don't like that [TS]

00:35:41   dismissed the thing she was not [TS]

00:35:43   acknowledging what was so great about [TS]

00:35:45   the life hack [TS]

00:35:46   she was just saying I don't know it'll [TS]

00:35:47   be perfectly fine to just do to just [TS]

00:35:50   ignore your life back and I and I said [TS]

00:35:53   mom are you not listening to me this is [TS]

00:35:56   a this is the thing this is the science [TS]

00:35:59   here and she didn't begin [TS]

00:36:01   I don't know it'll be easy we'll just [TS]

00:36:03   put it on them and so I don't know I I [TS]

00:36:05   asked her why are you what are you what [TS]

00:36:08   advantages there to not doing this and [TS]

00:36:12   she just had some big thing of like [TS]

00:36:14   putting them boxes just then I just have [TS]

00:36:17   a bunch of boxes sitting around [TS]

00:36:20   yeah well to quote Mike Tyson everybody [TS]

00:36:22   has a plan until they get punched in the [TS]

00:36:23   face men so the only thing i would say [TS]

00:36:26   he said that like this [TS]

00:36:29   sorry that was the voice of your parents [TS]

00:36:32   right [TS]

00:36:33   however hardware for dim sum up all I [TS]

00:36:37   could talk to care about the only [TS]

00:36:42   potential flaw in OC I like your plan a [TS]

00:36:45   lot because that's the way I think [TS]

00:36:47   thanks you that the only potential [TS]

00:36:50   downside is i think there's an extremely [TS]

00:36:51   good chance that they're going to be [TS]

00:36:52   people who are good people people of [TS]

00:36:55   good heart [TS]

00:36:55   people with actual non expired money who [TS]

00:36:58   want to buy your stuff and there's a [TS]

00:36:59   pretty good chance that more than one [TS]

00:37:01   person is going to want more than one [TS]

00:37:03   item uh and they might be frustrating to [TS]

00:37:07   them to pay the full freight on two [TS]

00:37:09   separate boxes if I could easily be [TS]

00:37:10   combined into one but that still doesn't [TS]

00:37:12   mitigate mitigate against what you're [TS]

00:37:13   doing here which i think is very [TS]

00:37:14   sensible getting the right size boxes [TS]

00:37:16   that stuff it and I still think planning [TS]

00:37:18   ahead on that is smart [TS]

00:37:20   yeah I i agree with you and now that you [TS]

00:37:22   say it there's every chance that someone [TS]

00:37:25   will ask a question on ebay as you know [TS]

00:37:28   that is a that is a feature I used ebay [TS]

00:37:31   once in 1998's by some-some Vintage Air [TS]

00:37:35   Jordans from something i bought a a body [TS]

00:37:38   a remake of a vintage pavement shirt and [TS]

00:37:41   maybe a weezer sure I think about [TS]

00:37:42   payment weezer shirt m x one of those [TS]

00:37:44   classic that Greenland that came ashore [TS]

00:37:46   everybody had the green shirt with the [TS]

00:37:47   weird device like a yellow on it [TS]

00:37:50   yeah I guess so I'm sure I've seen it a [TS]

00:37:52   million billion times you show aren't [TS]

00:37:54   this week of paper yeah i do of payment [TS]

00:37:57   do you [TS]

00:37:58   we are you [TS]

00:38:02   it's like how are you getting away with [TS]

00:38:05   singing like that I know you can sing [TS]

00:38:06   like a normal person ever sounds more [TS]

00:38:08   normal over the years you just go back [TS]

00:38:10   and listen to it still sounds so weird [TS]

00:38:12   how do you do it I don't know how you [TS]

00:38:15   can do it i don't get so high I wonder [TS]

00:38:17   does he speak like an ordinary guy I [TS]

00:38:19   know what it does [TS]

00:38:21   well then you're my fact checking cuz [TS]

00:38:23   they're good it's all amazing wonderful [TS]

00:38:27   music and the fact that he sings like [TS]

00:38:28   that is a major advantage to the music I [TS]

00:38:31   just don't understand how you can do it [TS]

00:38:32   i don't understand how you can know how [TS]

00:38:34   to say and then fail to sing so utterly [TS]

00:38:37   it's it's just it's so snotty instead [TS]

00:38:40   this is so dismissive it sounds naughty [TS]

00:38:42   and that's why the British people loved [TS]

00:38:44   it because they think that snotty is [TS]

00:38:46   real [TS]

00:38:47   they don't like people with self-esteem [TS]

00:38:48   in England I've seen this at length over [TS]

00:38:50   the years I've been able to observe how [TS]

00:38:52   much British people are suspicious of [TS]

00:38:54   anyone who doesn't hate themselves not [TS]

00:38:56   saying it's bad i'm saying that's [TS]

00:38:57   important likelike really seeing that [TS]

00:38:59   can help a lot [TS]

00:39:00   yeah that's very interesting mhm you've [TS]

00:39:02   got to hate yourself a little bit more [TS]

00:39:05   well that's the thing that nobody in [TS]

00:39:06   Europe likes about Americans it [TS]

00:39:08   hate ourselves enough right right right [TS]

00:39:10   there are they've all got cured guard in [TS]

00:39:12   their water and we're out here with our [TS]

00:39:16   like can-do spirit in our rabbit run [TS]

00:39:18   rabbit run [TS]

00:39:19   look at me i'm certain ebay store cause [TS]

00:39:21   people want my used club it's probably [TS]

00:39:23   really governess u.s.a America paopao [TS]

00:39:27   got a bag and people here just roll [TS]

00:39:31   their eyes don't you two friendly bet [TS]

00:39:34   they look at the British media look at [TS]

00:39:35   the British media and like how they love [TS]

00:39:37   to tear down somebody like just at the [TS]

00:39:40   point when they become like well-known [TS]

00:39:42   got a little bit too big for their [TS]

00:39:43   britches [TS]

00:39:44   yep well except for Robbie [TS]

00:39:46   what's-his-name well no the guy from [TS]

00:39:48   that didn't that song that 1999 song [TS]

00:39:50   right yeah you called her and robbie [TS]

00:39:52   coltrane the cute guy that somehow is [TS]

00:39:54   like fun and funny and also like got big [TS]

00:39:57   in England but nobody in America has [TS]

00:39:59   ever heard of him Robbie Johnson right [TS]

00:40:00   look I did that song in 1999 that i [TS]

00:40:03   liked i guess so yeah well enough that [TS]

00:40:05   my head sounds like bittersweet symphony [TS]

00:40:06   even though I know it's not [TS]

00:40:08   Robby Z Robby here he said I had that [TS]

00:40:10   it's good in the world come in Robin did [TS]

00:40:12   that thing billions each Robin Williams [TS]

00:40:15   Robbie Williams he did the thing that [TS]

00:40:16   chris cornell did which is he made a [TS]

00:40:18   disco album already tried he tried two [TS]

00:40:21   thousand things to get big American he [TS]

00:40:23   been a boy band before that's right [TS]

00:40:25   Robbie Robbie Johnson Robbie Robbie [TS]

00:40:28   Williams we will just be in a way and [TS]

00:40:31   Bobby Williamson think I'll take that [TS]

00:40:33   exactly that's become he was the Justin [TS]

00:40:36   Timberlake of England but he was snarky [TS]

00:40:40   he was funny he was like he was like the [TS]

00:40:42   comedian that used to be fat that now is [TS]

00:40:45   a drug addict or not even drug addict [TS]

00:40:47   anymore now he's a post drug addict [TS]

00:40:49   who's like smart and goes on American [TS]

00:40:51   just one just one makes people feel bad [TS]

00:40:54   makes them feel not smart enough oh uh [TS]

00:40:56   huh but I think more about that [TS]

00:40:58   well you know the one he was in them [TS]

00:41:00   using these in all of these movies now [TS]

00:41:02   he's the british guy that [TS]

00:41:03   oh he remade caught between the moon and [TS]

00:41:08   New York City [TS]

00:41:08   oh and it wasn't any good huh just like [TS]

00:41:11   when steve martin remakes the cato right [TS]

00:41:15   so I'm looking for Arthur English [TS]

00:41:19   fat drugs right the show yeah let's see [TS]

00:41:23   what happens [TS]

00:41:24   alright let's see Mycroft Holmes already [TS]

00:41:27   laying know Russell Brand yeah there we [TS]

00:41:30   are Russell Brand are you kidding no [TS]

00:41:31   Russell Brand also branch recent you [TS]

00:41:33   lots of drugs and I look weird out sure [TS]

00:41:35   he's fun and funny and smart but like [TS]

00:41:38   also annoying he's a he's an activist [TS]

00:41:41   comedian [TS]

00:41:41   oh IC needs to be with katie holmes i [TS]

00:41:44   don't know exactly the Mycroft Holmes as [TS]

00:41:47   far as we know Katie Holmes is the one [TS]

00:41:48   that married the scientologist no no [TS]

00:41:51   that's Katie alright okay so my thinking [TS]

00:41:53   of Katie Barry Katie Holmes is the one [TS]

00:41:55   that married the scientologist Katy [TS]

00:41:56   Perry's the one that married Mycroft [TS]

00:41:58   Mycroft Holmes katy perry is the one [TS]

00:42:00   that looks like zooey deschanel if you [TS]

00:42:02   just turn the volume up on all over [TS]

00:42:03   features like you know that must drive [TS]

00:42:05   her crazy well it's the opposite i went [TS]

00:42:07   to a more at a ballgame with her in this [TS]

00:42:09   happened i went to a mariners game with [TS]

00:42:10   the with the zoe and shoot and somebody [TS]

00:42:13   was like hey you're that latch the one [TS]

00:42:15   you're that girl and I was like wow I'm [TS]

00:42:17   surprised that that this these drunk [TS]

00:42:19   guys at a baseball game know who you are [TS]

00:42:21   and she was like they don't know i am [TS]

00:42:22   they think I'm Katy Perry this episode [TS]

00:42:26   of Roderick on the line is brought to [TS]

00:42:28   you by braintree code for easy online [TS]

00:42:30   payments you learn more about braintree [TS]

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00:42:43   Airbnb hotel tonight livingsocial and [TS]

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00:43:17   here's a break she gives you are going [TS]

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00:43:39   easy just basically dropping a few lines [TS]

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00:43:43   little bit of a doofus you can call up [TS]

00:43:45   braintree and then walk through the [TS]

00:43:46   whole thing it's that easy it's that [TS]

00:43:48   simple it's that braintree they're just [TS]

00:43:50   going to run with that to learn more [TS]

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00:44:01   braintree for taking the pain out of [TS]

00:44:02   mobile payments and for supporting [TS]

00:44:04   Roderick come along [TS]

00:44:05   wow really they're like you gotta hear [TS]

00:44:09   that yeah you're the girl with the song [TS]

00:44:11   about the girl kissing the girl was like [TS]

00:44:14   just rolling her eyes like yeah thanks [TS]

00:44:16   okay thank you [TS]

00:44:18   she's gotten a lot well yeah it's and it [TS]

00:44:20   when you put them side-by-side you're [TS]

00:44:22   like I'll sure this is that dumb thing [TS]

00:44:24   where it's like the kind it's like me [TS]

00:44:25   and Josh rosenfeld I don't know why I [TS]

00:44:28   just had sort of a trouble thanks Josh [TS]

00:44:30   Roosevelt just gorgeous more but uh you [TS]

00:44:35   know if you put if you did you stand [TS]

00:44:37   rosenfeld me next to each other people [TS]

00:44:40   like are you guys brothers are you guys [TS]

00:44:41   twins separated at Birth now when you go [TS]

00:44:44   what are you talking about like you know [TS]

00:44:47   like Josh's from Patricia's people are [TS]

00:44:49   from Poland put back to the general days [TS]

00:44:52   and I'm some celt from my from all the [TS]

00:44:55   way over on the seaside you guys look [TS]

00:44:57   like the places that you're from very [TS]

00:44:59   much we do and yet our coloring is kind [TS]

00:45:02   of the same and people just like you [TS]

00:45:04   guys look like brothers and so Katy [TS]

00:45:06   Perry and zooey deschanel same thing [TS]

00:45:09   except all the katy perry's features are [TS]

00:45:11   just a little bit like bigger like pop [TS]

00:45:13   no zooey deschanel got pretty big i [TS]

00:45:15   think it's kind of a Barbie and skipper [TS]

00:45:17   situation get the Barbie doll and you [TS]

00:45:19   got skipper doll they're supposed to be [TS]

00:45:20   sisters they look pretty much the same [TS]

00:45:21   just was a little smaller [TS]

00:45:23   I think Zoe Zoe kamikaze deschanel is [TS]

00:45:26   the skipper to katy perry's Barbie [TS]

00:45:29   interesting interesting uh Syria who do [TS]

00:45:32   you think is taller because it raining I [TS]

00:45:38   Chanel height i think that lets say katy [TS]

00:45:43   perry is taller I because I feel like [TS]

00:45:45   she [TS]

00:45:46   as the bigger she's the bigger version [TS]

00:45:48   or the Barbie right she's the one that's [TS]

00:45:49   easy and this particular model yeah [TS]

00:45:51   absolutely [TS]

00:45:52   so is she according according to the [TS]

00:45:54   internet a traditional is 56 and katy [TS]

00:45:58   perry's 58 see that equips with with my [TS]

00:46:01   impression [TS]

00:46:02   ok and i think you're right Katy Perry [TS]

00:46:03   dated Russell Brand yes and that she did [TS]

00:46:06   not go very well [TS]

00:46:07   well just seems crazy like like first of [TS]

00:46:10   all how would you make your schedules [TS]

00:46:11   work out well that's the celebrity [TS]

00:46:14   problem that I don't understand how I I [TS]

00:46:18   feel like they are more comfortable with [TS]

00:46:19   each other celebrities sure because they [TS]

00:46:23   can both check into OT like you could [TS]

00:46:25   have a like if you were if you were [TS]

00:46:28   dating a Zoe you can check into a hotel [TS]

00:46:32   and you could be friendly and so II but [TS]

00:46:33   yeah but so we would be frame me what [TS]

00:46:36   I'm saying and then you would be Zoe a [TS]

00:46:38   lot of showing that to switch a month [TS]

00:46:40   right so people are like oh hi is there [TS]

00:46:42   anyone named Zoe staying in your hotel [TS]

00:46:43   and you'd say yes and then you say can I [TS]

00:46:48   get their room number [TS]

00:46:49   sure and then you go up the elevator and [TS]

00:46:52   you knock on the door and made his door [TS]

00:46:54   would open its Russell Brand oh wow I'm [TS]

00:46:58   Franny right [TS]

00:47:00   no I'm I'm glowing friend me listen [TS]

00:47:02   granny is my father that the addition [TS]

00:47:05   Elle has a sister [TS]

00:47:07   yes who's also a famous television Emily [TS]

00:47:10   Deschanel and she's in and she's in a [TS]

00:47:12   spider-man she's in the good spider-man [TS]

00:47:13   movie and she's in something called [TS]

00:47:15   bones [TS]

00:47:16   yeah that's right she does she's one of [TS]

00:47:18   the United like she's one of the titular [TS]

00:47:19   bones feel like there's a there is a [TS]

00:47:21   thing i was i was at a show the other [TS]

00:47:24   night when i was doing there in San [TS]

00:47:26   Francisco during the sketch fest party [TS]

00:47:27   and I was backstage and talk a little [TS]

00:47:31   bit like Sarah Palin look-alike crossing [TS]

00:47:35   sarah palin Yoda i am from Alaska it [TS]

00:47:39   could see Russia from here it's part of [TS]

00:47:41   our left it's part of our lexicon I was [TS]

00:47:44   backstage at this at this theater party [TS]

00:47:46   and several of the actresses who are all [TS]

00:47:50   wonderful people have all at one time or [TS]

00:47:53   another played some kind of forensic [TS]

00:47:55   detective on a television [TS]

00:47:57   and they were all oh and Adam Savage was [TS]

00:48:00   there and he was talking about how [TS]

00:48:02   Mythbusters had just ended and and these [TS]

00:48:07   women who had all played forensic [TS]

00:48:09   detectives some of them multiple times [TS]

00:48:12   we're all commiserating with him and [TS]

00:48:14   saying oh isn't that I know exactly that [TS]

00:48:18   feeling when your longtime very popular [TS]

00:48:20   television show has been cancelled [TS]

00:48:21   it's really like losing it's like losing [TS]

00:48:24   a child and they also they're all like [TS]

00:48:26   all and Adams like I know it's I could [TS]

00:48:30   hurt so much more than I thought and [TS]

00:48:32   they're like oh when I when I lost one [TS]

00:48:36   when when when like a pet detective got [TS]

00:48:40   cancelled or whatever or or or when one [TS]

00:48:43   like dead body show got canceled I was [TS]

00:48:46   devastated or you know viscous liquid [TS]

00:48:48   detection las vegas right and then I got [TS]

00:48:51   you know and then you know it was great [TS]

00:48:52   when I got hired on the floor special [TS]

00:48:55   microscope school afraid florida-based [TS]

00:48:57   fake science show as the as the pretty [TS]

00:49:02   sights like you as the as the pretty [TS]

00:49:04   forensic scientist who spends all the [TS]

00:49:06   time work radio science ladies on TV and [TS]

00:49:09   so I think emily deschanel also plays a [TS]

00:49:11   pretty science lady who works in it [TS]

00:49:13   works in a cold room full of cadavers [TS]

00:49:15   and who every once in awhile pulls up [TS]

00:49:18   some implausible thing on a computer [TS]

00:49:20   screen that furthers be narrative of the [TS]

00:49:22   show is the guy with the Missy t-shirt [TS]

00:49:24   if you'll be able to crack the [TS]

00:49:25   encryption [TS]

00:49:26   well yeah she says look here i found a [TS]

00:49:28   fiber and already up its turns out that [TS]

00:49:31   this fiber has been to the moon i can [TS]

00:49:34   tell because it has enzymes so go get [TS]

00:49:39   the killer he found the number of [TS]

00:49:41   chemicals in the environment they were [TS]

00:49:43   chemicals in the environment that could [TS]

00:49:45   not be replicated got the way for the [TS]

00:49:47   assay to come back to the lab so and I [TS]

00:49:49   honestly I have not seen the show maybe [TS]

00:49:51   emily deschanel is the is the detective [TS]

00:49:53   in the dirty t3 the bone [TS]

00:49:55   it's called the basic bones right I [TS]

00:49:58   think she's the titular bone [TS]

00:49:59   she's probably she's probably the boat [TS]

00:50:01   maybe she's married to mr. mrs. bone and [TS]

00:50:03   just called bones [TS]

00:50:04   hmm could be that would be a clever very [TS]

00:50:07   clever thing right because [TS]

00:50:09   probably it was probably a doctor who's [TS]

00:50:11   the other bones it was was it somebody [TS]

00:50:14   on MASH oh uh your Trapper John you got [TS]

00:50:18   uh get bonuses on the star trek old [TS]

00:50:22   bones right course but he's not he's a [TS]

00:50:25   doctor [TS]

00:50:26   yeah he's a real worm sure Jim whatever [TS]

00:50:32   i think i'm getting better at the drums [TS]

00:50:34   well that's a really complicated stupid [TS]

00:50:40   joke that's very good call me dr. bones [TS]

00:50:44   yep they call me dr. bones I can handle [TS]

00:50:48   criticism through your bones impression [TS]

00:50:51   very well now it's alright it's a ram a [TS]

00:50:53   real doctor [TS]

00:50:54   there are no real work i'm an actual [TS]

00:50:57   worm I live like a worm [TS]

00:50:59   I i'm gonna get at regretsy yes there is [TS]

00:51:04   a there's a knitted glove [TS]

00:51:08   yeah meant for two letters to hold hands [TS]

00:51:10   in [TS]

00:51:11   that's right it's like oh we want to [TS]

00:51:12   hold hands but we also want to wear [TS]

00:51:14   gloves but we don't want to hold glove [TS]

00:51:15   hand gloved hands we want to touch each [TS]

00:51:18   other's going natural hand skins a [TS]

00:51:20   little German in German get it's been [TS]

00:51:24   it's very its crew repeat feels a little [TS]

00:51:27   bit like what was the movie where Robert [TS]

00:51:29   Duvall had to have sex with his wife [TS]

00:51:31   through a sheet [TS]

00:51:32   oh the princess bride no model top it [TS]

00:51:40   they could sell it feels a little bit [TS]

00:51:41   like that [TS]

00:51:42   uh-huh like if you have to have sex [TS]

00:51:44   through a sheet because of here because [TS]

00:51:46   you're a member of a patriarchal [TS]

00:51:47   religious cult then uh then you would [TS]

00:51:50   also want a hand knitted glove to hold [TS]

00:51:53   hands but not visibly not i think it [TS]

00:51:56   feels German I mean the first direction [TS]

00:51:58   of entering the body parts feels like a [TS]

00:51:59   very German concept to me also being [TS]

00:52:01   cozy [TS]

00:52:02   yeah we like to become aware and Germans [TS]

00:52:04   do like to be cozy let's be honest yeah [TS]

00:52:06   or this site is just full of woe [TS]

00:52:11   chocolate Turkey on a pretzel rod like [TS]

00:52:13   that guy huh what [TS]

00:52:15   yep nation's business is brown sure John [TS]

00:52:19   so anyway yeah i used to watch shows [TS]

00:52:22   like that you know [TS]

00:52:22   when my wife got large with child we had [TS]

00:52:25   to stop watching a lot of TV shows about [TS]

00:52:28   crime and it's suffering and in [TS]

00:52:30   particular for some reason up 2007 we [TS]

00:52:33   used to watch a show called law and [TS]

00:52:35   order special victims unit [TS]

00:52:36   mhm and we used to watch a live but I've [TS]

00:52:38   been a big line order fan for 20 years I [TS]

00:52:42   didn't watch it all the time like was [TS]

00:52:43   working at be watching any at home all [TS]

00:52:46   day I but special victims unit is is [TS]

00:52:50   horrible [TS]

00:52:50   like what happens on that show is [TS]

00:52:51   horrible the acting is horrible and it's [TS]

00:52:54   just all about innocent people being [TS]

00:52:55   sexually exploited well this is a [TS]

00:52:57   question i had for a long time does [TS]

00:52:58   special modify unit or the special [TS]

00:53:00   modified the victim [TS]

00:53:02   that's a round of questions especially [TS]

00:53:03   like the unit that takes care of Special [TS]

00:53:05   Victims would be would be Debbie pretty [TS]

00:53:07   fun [TS]

00:53:08   well it's a special unit I've always [TS]

00:53:10   felt like it's it's a special unit that [TS]

00:53:12   that takes care of victory I think it's [TS]

00:53:14   the victims unit that is special but a [TS]

00:53:17   you know for Special Victims would be [TS]

00:53:19   very interesting so your starbucks [TS]

00:53:21   special events poets it so there are [TS]

00:53:23   normal victims units and then this is [TS]

00:53:25   the special victim unit that's what [TS]

00:53:27   you're saying [TS]

00:53:27   so special modifies victim looks for any [TS]

00:53:30   variety of let's get up [TS]

00:53:32   it's ok alright we've gotten better [TS]

00:53:34   they've gotten better over the years [TS]

00:53:36   yeah we have we can get off things now I [TS]

00:53:37   went back and now is singing to a couple [TS]

00:53:40   of episodes recently and wow we packed a [TS]

00:53:43   lot of stuff in at the beginning is a [TS]

00:53:45   lot of Crow talk is where you first [TS]

00:53:47   introduce me to hydrogen peroxide mean [TS]

00:53:49   it's all in there when you first told me [TS]

00:53:51   about crows well this is the thing I I [TS]

00:53:54   have become now a place for people to [TS]

00:53:58   send things about crows and I don't [TS]

00:54:01   technically makes you a post office box [TS]

00:54:03   i think i don't know i don't know mice i [TS]

00:54:06   am become post office like like I i [TS]

00:54:09   think the presumption is that there is [TS]

00:54:12   stuff about crows happening on the [TS]

00:54:13   internet that I haven't already seen [TS]

00:54:15   right like if it's about crows and it's [TS]

00:54:18   on the Internet [TS]

00:54:19   oh I've seen it but I but there's always [TS]

00:54:22   this steady trickle of like oh my god [TS]

00:54:25   did you see this one about the crow that [TS]

00:54:27   brings gifts to the little girl [TS]

00:54:28   yes i did did you see the one about the [TS]

00:54:31   crows yes I saw that [TS]

00:54:32   what about the credit yes I saw that and [TS]

00:54:35   so most recently [TS]

00:54:36   the thing about crows uh about crows [TS]

00:54:41   like some shit now I'm blanking on what [TS]

00:54:45   the crows do it only has a link picture [TS]

00:54:47   and send it to John they have they hold [TS]

00:54:49   grudges are you know that they are what [TS]

00:54:51   is it [TS]

00:54:52   oh no it's that they're paranoid crows [TS]

00:54:55   are paranoid because you're paranoid [TS]

00:54:56   right if they so it's not just that [TS]

00:54:59   they're cautious but there they have an [TS]

00:55:01   abundance of caution may be based on [TS]

00:55:03   that much are well as earn that people [TS]

00:55:06   are out to get them [TS]

00:55:07   I think they have concerned I think that [TS]

00:55:09   they feel like if they if you know where [TS]

00:55:12   their shit is they behave differently [TS]

00:55:15   than if you don't know where their shit [TS]

00:55:16   I'll account like a meth user that's [TS]

00:55:19   right like if they if they have hidden [TS]

00:55:21   their shit if they have hidden their [TS]

00:55:24   light under the portico math right right [TS]

00:55:28   if they put chrome a thunder a bushel [TS]

00:55:30   then that's fine but if they feel like [TS]

00:55:33   you were watching them when they put [TS]

00:55:34   their they put their a mess under a [TS]

00:55:37   bushel never feel safe again [TS]

00:55:38   no no they don't feel good and that me [TS]

00:55:40   means that if they're doing that with [TS]

00:55:42   their with their math they're doing that [TS]

00:55:45   all the time they're aluminum foil that [TS]

00:55:47   baseball caps the popcorn chicken any of [TS]

00:55:49   the things that they've been gathering [TS]

00:55:50   but also I feel like that I feel like [TS]

00:55:52   the messages that they are sitting there [TS]

00:55:54   they're tripping on you all the time and [TS]

00:55:57   this is what I've been saying to people [TS]

00:55:58   for years when you walk out of the house [TS]

00:56:00   the crows are watching you and they are [TS]

00:56:02   marking what you're doing and they're [TS]

00:56:04   just they're judging you and they're [TS]

00:56:06   deciding about you and you had better [TS]

00:56:08   you'd better treat somebody somebody [TS]

00:56:10   wrote me the other day and it was a it [TS]

00:56:11   was an interesting email he was like I [TS]

00:56:13   think I've offended the crows now what [TS]

00:56:14   do i do and i said tell me more [TS]

00:56:17   and he said well I had some you know I'd [TS]

00:56:21   you know I through mcdonalds bag and [TS]

00:56:23   more I did something I disrespected them [TS]

00:56:25   and now I feel like they're watching me [TS]

00:56:27   all the time and I was like yeah well [TS]

00:56:29   you're right they are watching you now [TS]

00:56:30   and the only thing you can't apologize [TS]

00:56:33   because they won't accept it [TS]

00:56:34   the only thing you can do is start just [TS]

00:56:36   start very patiently just being like [TS]

00:56:38   Hello crows sorry hello I see you I see [TS]

00:56:41   you crows and just work your way slowly [TS]

00:56:44   back to a place where they are going to [TS]

00:56:47   one day all come down your chimney [TS]

00:56:50   whatever it is that they've got in store [TS]

00:56:51   for you but anyway so yeah people are [TS]

00:56:54   like grows there did you see this crow [TS]

00:56:56   like fucking saw the crow dudes i'm on i [TS]

00:57:00   mean i got a google search Google Alert [TS]

00:57:02   and you'd mentioned in this episode also [TS]

00:57:06   that the the thing where you and your [TS]

00:57:10   mom had gotten into cars to try and [TS]

00:57:11   figure out where the crows go oh yeah [TS]

00:57:13   when I mean let's just take it as read [TS]

00:57:15   the crows are very protective [TS]

00:57:18   at the very least about where they live [TS]

00:57:20   so if you found there where they hide [TS]

00:57:22   their meth and you can kind of like [TS]

00:57:25   triangulate where they probably live and [TS]

00:57:26   use the math me think what that's going [TS]

00:57:28   to do acro and they're going to pass [TS]

00:57:30   them on from generation to generation to [TS]

00:57:31   self the selfish gene isn't moving on [TS]

00:57:34   it's like it's like you put cheetos out [TS]

00:57:36   in a snow covered parking lot trying to [TS]

00:57:38   capture crow in a in a basket [TS]

00:57:40   yeah you're never first of all they're [TS]

00:57:43   never going to eat a Cheeto again [TS]

00:57:44   nothing to grow in the world it's in [TS]

00:57:46   every basket all kinds of basically cnet [TS]

00:57:47   guns they see many maths yeah because [TS]

00:57:51   crows I feel like crows have spooky [TS]

00:57:53   action at a distance and everything [TS]

00:57:55   aligns this one way right there are [TS]

00:57:56   curved there are crows in pasadena that [TS]

00:58:00   no not to eat a Cheeto because there's [TS]

00:58:03   somebody somebody had a basket back and [TS]

00:58:04   maybe like a Boston well or or Alaska [TS]

00:58:07   where lies chased him around with the [TS]

00:58:09   with a mask on throne cheetos out but I [TS]

00:58:13   yeah so I love the fact that you are [TS]

00:58:17   going back and listening to the archives [TS]

00:58:18   I feel like there's a tremendous amount [TS]

00:58:19   of information there but i've never [TS]

00:58:21   listened to our program so i don't know [TS]

00:58:24   i don't know what it could be like I you [TS]

00:58:26   know for a long time I was hoping that [TS]

00:58:27   people would transcribe them because I [TS]

00:58:28   do like reading our program i like to [TS]

00:58:33   sense [TS]

00:58:34   let's that's so strange why is that's [TS]

00:58:36   right that's like sending somebody [TS]

00:58:38   sending you like that like the [TS]

00:58:39   transcript of sexual intercourse I mean [TS]

00:58:41   like you might get all the facts right [TS]

00:58:42   but you're kind of missing the feeling [TS]

00:58:43   have you never read a transcript of [TS]

00:58:44   sexual intercourse and a lot of [TS]

00:58:46   transcripts of sexual intercourse idol [TS]

00:58:48   summarize some free from depositions [TS]

00:58:50   yeah I like a transcript because I feel [TS]

00:58:53   like I feel like there's a kind of court [TS]

00:58:55   reporter what I like to do is go through [TS]

00:58:59   a transcript and figure out all the ways [TS]

00:59:01   in which the transcriber has [TS]

00:59:03   miss read or misjudged some strange [TS]

00:59:07   little reference you're making and then [TS]

00:59:10   the strange pivot that I make off of the [TS]

00:59:12   strange and then you take the pivot and [TS]

00:59:15   run it in for a touchdown [TS]

00:59:16   except right before you that then you [TS]

00:59:19   get to get blindsided tackled by a buyer [TS]

00:59:24   some other football player that I have [TS]

00:59:27   put on the field but yeah it's like an [TS]

00:59:30   ordinary think about the way you make a [TS]

00:59:31   dish to to make people they can see all [TS]

00:59:33   the ingredients on the table you using [TS]

00:59:35   on you know you're preparing the food [TS]

00:59:36   you put all the ingredients in your cook [TS]

00:59:38   eat it like you might be able to [TS]

00:59:39   identify those ingredients but in this [TS]

00:59:41   case they're eating a meal where they [TS]

00:59:43   still haven't found the salt right or [TS]

00:59:45   get in there it well it might be in [TS]

00:59:47   there but they don't they don't read it [TS]

00:59:48   is salt they're missing it's almost like [TS]

00:59:49   they're eating a different dish because [TS]

00:59:51   they can't know what all the ingredients [TS]

00:59:52   are and one of those ingredients i'm not [TS]

00:59:53   using a lot of it but that could just be [TS]

00:59:55   a little bit in there it's some kind of [TS]

00:59:57   Szechuan a battery acid [TS]

00:59:59   [Music] [TS]

00:59:59   [Music] [TS]

01:00:00   hmm could be a situation which one such [TS]

01:00:04   a pepper which one [TS]

01:00:05   so but this is I feel like reading [TS]

01:00:07   transcripts of our show is in the same [TS]

01:00:09   family of a behaviour as religiously [TS]

01:00:15   reading movie reviews for movies i will [TS]

01:00:17   never see i like that i like doing that [TS]

01:00:19   oh yeah i've read i read the reviews [TS]

01:00:21   sometimes multiple reviews of movies i [TS]

01:00:24   would not see if you paid me a hundred [TS]

01:00:26   dollars but i love reading the review of [TS]

01:00:28   them i'll go in a couple times a year [TS]

01:00:30   and go to that page with all of the [TS]

01:00:33   movies that Roger Ebert gave like half [TS]

01:00:37   star or less 2010 is those you want to [TS]

01:00:40   seeby but really came into his own in [TS]

01:00:42   his later years but boy you can you can [TS]

01:00:43   find some really good ebert in there i [TS]

01:00:45   have never done that and you know I like [TS]

01:00:47   a good ebert he's great what's the one [TS]

01:00:49   with the junction voltage movie the [TS]

01:00:50   Scientology movie where he's an alien [TS]

01:00:52   that Atlas case book is coming out all [TS]

01:00:54   the dread little battle royale at all [TS]

01:00:57   japanese movie i don't know i thought i [TS]

01:00:59   was the first James Bond reboot at a [TS]

01:01:03   rally I don't die right now right out [TS]

01:01:06   yeah 3 steps over the Komodo dragon [TS]

01:01:07   wilshire that's where the guy with [TS]

01:01:09   pleating it's the bleeding i bleeding I [TS]

01:01:11   got a guy eats people on TV so I feel [TS]

01:01:14   like I people shit battlefield battle [TS]

01:01:18   shadows ship battleship field [TS]

01:01:20   Battlefield Earth battlefield earth and [TS]

01:01:23   I felt like he looked like one of the [TS]

01:01:25   people from the later matrix movies huh [TS]

01:01:28   except in the later matrix movies they [TS]

01:01:30   were the heroes and in the battlefield [TS]

01:01:33   earth he was the bad guy and he's [TS]

01:01:35   supposed to be like 10 feet tall so he's [TS]

01:01:38   wearing like Frankenstein she's so [TS]

01:01:39   forest whitaker all they dragged him for [TS]

01:01:41   porsche 944 striker was the movie where [TS]

01:01:44   he was the weird uh he was the weird [TS]

01:01:46   like Brooklyn ninja [TS]

01:01:49   Oh Brooklyn ninja he was a Brooklyn [TS]

01:01:52   ninja forest whitaker oh that's not [TS]

01:01:55   understand kind of an independent spirit [TS]

01:01:57   award movie [TS]

01:01:58   oh-huh have to think about that I don't [TS]

01:02:00   think I know that one you should we are [TS]

01:02:01   you watching that oj simpson movie and [TS]

01:02:03   watching it on the TV [TS]

01:02:04   no is it good that's terrible i'm sorry [TS]

01:02:07   i'm still watching jessica jones good [TS]

01:02:09   show [TS]

01:02:10   yeah John Travolta produced this it [TS]

01:02:12   appears in as Robert Shapiro [TS]

01:02:13   and the makeup is exquisite John [TS]

01:02:16   Travolta is is Robert Shapiro hmm I like [TS]

01:02:21   that [TS]

01:02:21   I'll see my photo here yeah the cats its [TS]

01:02:24   fullest on casting hilarious done [TS]

01:02:26   casting I like who else is in it like oh [TS]

01:02:30   uh the guy the other guy from Law & [TS]

01:02:32   Order uh that guy like the [TS]

01:02:34   african-american guy he plays I Johnnie [TS]

01:02:36   Cochran David Schwimmer from the Friends [TS]

01:02:38   program like that is Robert Kardashian [TS]

01:02:40   are you talking about [TS]

01:02:43   iced tea oh no good pull though Kourtney [TS]

01:02:46   be Vance i said i'm thinking of icy but [TS]

01:02:50   that is a special victims unit iced tea [TS]

01:02:54   is Special Victims Unit [TS]

01:02:55   oh yeah he's one comes in like he's the [TS]

01:02:58   one that's the term in TV trips where [TS]

01:03:00   they call it i think it's called like [TS]

01:03:02   something like as you know John or as [TS]

01:03:03   you know Bob he does a lot of the as you [TS]

01:03:05   know bob is that sort of like him [TS]

01:03:07   actually it's a well it's it's a [TS]

01:03:09   terrible form of exposition that [TS]

01:03:11   involves one person talking to someone [TS]

01:03:13   else about something they both have [TS]

01:03:14   always known about for a long time for [TS]

01:03:16   the benefit of the office [TS]

01:03:17   all right let you know Bob the fourth [TS]

01:03:19   the photon torpedo has to cool off for [TS]

01:03:21   20 minutes before it can be used again [TS]

01:03:23   right as you know Bob that uh that time [TS]

01:03:26   that we did that thing it was this thing [TS]

01:03:28   that you already know [TS]

01:03:30   yeah um I feel like do you remember when [TS]

01:03:34   ice tea was authentically a [TS]

01:03:38   authentically a real dangerous i [TS]

01:03:42   remember when i ste the brief period [TS]

01:03:45   where i stayed put out a song that made [TS]

01:03:47   him i think arguably for a while the [TS]

01:03:50   most hated and most feared man in [TS]

01:03:52   America right he was he was a cause he [TS]

01:03:54   was yet he was popular he was he was [TS]

01:03:57   like basically i need people today we're [TS]

01:04:00   not around this happen [TS]

01:04:01   you have no idea like the uproar that [TS]

01:04:03   that song cause and he defiantly stared [TS]

01:04:07   it down like the the PMRC the parents [TS]

01:04:10   research a mania council got so al [TS]

01:04:17   gore's wife got so up in arms about cop [TS]

01:04:19   killer and cops across America were [TS]

01:04:22   understandably mad and ice-t just stared [TS]

01:04:26   them all down [TS]

01:04:27   staring him in the face it was like fuck [TS]

01:04:28   you it was very bold and very of the [TS]

01:04:32   time and he was a tough character and [TS]

01:04:36   now he's the sul Bob on the TV show and [TS]

01:04:40   an LL Cool J is making weird country [TS]

01:04:43   song oh yeah game McKay that's that [TS]

01:04:46   thing where they go after women in media [TS]

01:04:47   and technology i actually know bob oh [TS]

01:04:51   bob that's sweeping the Internet [TS]

01:04:54   oh yeah I heard about this there is [TS]

01:04:56   actually one that's not actually about [TS]

01:04:57   some people that I know who got a lot of [TS]

01:04:59   grief from the gamergate people they did [TS]

01:05:01   they did a law-and-order about it and [TS]

01:05:03   they it starts out with them going to [TS]

01:05:05   look a game convention it's it's the [TS]

01:05:08   first law and order I've watched [TS]

01:05:09   probably seven or eight years and it was [TS]

01:05:11   really funny but [TS]

01:05:12   ripped-from-the-headlines as you know [TS]

01:05:15   Bob uh-huh [TS]

01:05:17   furries are not all [TS]

01:05:20   oh yeah but about sey magazine or is it [TS]

01:05:23   like normal people but they like [TS]

01:05:25   dressing up like and suddenly i think i [TS]

01:05:27   might be judgmental difference [TS]

01:05:29   yeah your car ready gotta I feel [TS]

01:05:34   oh my god here is on here is on missing [TS]

01:05:39   regretsy a a cozy koozie for a turtle [TS]

01:05:46   that makes turtle look like a roast [TS]

01:05:49   turkey that's lap and that's sweet [TS]

01:05:52   oh oh shit that reminds me Merlin I i [TS]

01:05:57   had a very hippie experience recently i [TS]

01:06:01   was in hawaii on Maui as you know down a [TS]

01:06:09   little bit south kihei and i was i was [TS]

01:06:13   going snorkeling and you may not know [TS]

01:06:16   this about me but I've been snorkeling [TS]

01:06:19   quite a bit i like to snorkel it's [TS]

01:06:23   wonderful because you feel like you're [TS]

01:06:25   flying in another world [TS]

01:06:27   you feel like you're on that movie where [TS]

01:06:28   the big blue people fly around and you [TS]

01:06:33   can inhabit a [TS]

01:06:34   blue person you know all we talked about [TS]

01:06:36   the avatar yeah everything that you [TS]

01:06:39   inhabit a blue person and then you can [TS]

01:06:40   fly around and I think you have a [TS]

01:06:42   springy tail like bigger something like [TS]

01:06:44   that sounds adorable [TS]

01:06:45   it's really one that's what scuba diving [TS]

01:06:47   is like it's like being taken under [TS]

01:06:48   water yeah you spring around on a coiled [TS]

01:06:50   tail you know diggers are diggers or [TS]

01:06:53   whatever i don't remember what two [TS]

01:06:54   wonderful thing about tiggers your [TS]

01:06:55   tickets are wonderful things there you [TS]

01:06:56   go exactly and so that as far as I can [TS]

01:06:58   recall that was the premise of avatar [TS]

01:07:00   but I so I was in so i was in the water [TS]

01:07:04   and I love to be first of all in the [TS]

01:07:06   water and second of all us scuba-dives [TS]

01:07:09   so snorkeling because it's like flying [TS]

01:07:12   and fish come up and look at you then [TS]

01:07:17   they they do they just look right at you [TS]

01:07:18   you're like Hello and made they don't [TS]

01:07:22   say hello [TS]

01:07:23   they don't they don't speak but they are [TS]

01:07:25   that but it's extraordinary to be in [TS]

01:07:27   their world but in any case I don't like [TS]

01:07:29   to snorkel in rough water because i'm a [TS]

01:07:34   little bit of a panicky snorkeler ok [TS]

01:07:37   because it's a it's a foreign [TS]

01:07:40   environment and I and I'm very custom to [TS]

01:07:43   breathing air and I like to breathe air [TS]

01:07:46   and I don't like to breathe the water [TS]

01:07:47   and so I like very calm seas and every [TS]

01:07:52   time I put a snorkel on I have to kind [TS]

01:07:54   of put my head under the water feel some [TS]

01:07:56   panic back off then do it again feel [TS]

01:07:59   less panic and then pull my head out of [TS]

01:08:02   the water make some jocular comment to [TS]

01:08:04   know what in particular and then put my [TS]

01:08:06   face back down in the water regulate my [TS]

01:08:09   breathing get calm and then then start [TS]

01:08:12   to fly but there have been several times [TS]

01:08:16   when I've been snorkeling in rough water [TS]

01:08:18   and water is coming in my hose and I'm [TS]

01:08:20   bouncing up and down and I and I can't [TS]

01:08:23   overcome [TS]

01:08:24   I can't get my breathing straight and I [TS]

01:08:26   can't overcome the panic [TS]

01:08:28   so anyway I'm out our month snorkeling [TS]

01:08:30   on this reef and I and I panic and I'm [TS]

01:08:35   way way out [TS]

01:08:37   I've gone too far because i hadn't yet [TS]

01:08:39   regulated my panic [TS]

01:08:41   I was just like oh yeah i'll get out [TS]

01:08:43   master this and I head out way out and [TS]

01:08:46   then I realized I haven't [TS]

01:08:48   mastered it and I start to you know and [TS]

01:08:51   i started the panic starts to rise and [TS]

01:08:53   it's not like I'm scuba diving you know [TS]

01:08:55   it's not like I'm gonna it's not like [TS]

01:08:57   that panic is going to cause me to die [TS]

01:08:59   but I start to panic and then panic [TS]

01:09:03   compounds upon itself and now i'm now [TS]

01:09:08   I'm freaking out [TS]

01:09:09   mm and I pop my head up out of the water [TS]

01:09:12   because I'm because i don't like because [TS]

01:09:13   I'm hyperventilating through a tube [TS]

01:09:15   which I don't know if you've done that [TS]

01:09:16   recently but it's that's not the way to [TS]

01:09:18   hyperventilate [TS]

01:09:19   mmm i thought my head up and I realize [TS]

01:09:22   I'm a long way from sure and I so I'm [TS]

01:09:25   like got to get back to shore [TS]

01:09:26   this is a bad situation now I'm [TS]

01:09:28   panicking and I'm a long way away from [TS]

01:09:29   shore and I start to swim to the shore [TS]

01:09:31   but I don't want to put my head back in [TS]

01:09:33   the water I don't want to put it in the [TS]

01:09:34   tube [TS]

01:09:35   I'm just like now I'm dog paddling and [TS]

01:09:38   I've got flippers on but the tide is [TS]

01:09:40   moving in such a way that I'm I'm [TS]

01:09:42   paddling to the shore and I appear not [TS]

01:09:44   to be making any progress [TS]

01:09:45   I appear actually to be I feel like I'm [TS]

01:09:47   being pulled out by the under toad I'm [TS]

01:09:51   pushing and pushing and now i'm really [TS]

01:09:53   starting to panic because now I'm tired [TS]

01:09:55   and I'm flailing and I say like put your [TS]

01:09:58   put the two back in at least you can [TS]

01:10:00   breathe through the tube but I don't [TS]

01:10:02   want to be in the tube I'm [TS]

01:10:03   hyperventilating I'm panicking I'm I'm [TS]

01:10:05   swimming and and its skin out scared [TS]

01:10:09   oh my god and so I a safe i get tired [TS]

01:10:13   enough and scared enough that I roll [TS]

01:10:15   over on my back because I've learned [TS]

01:10:17   that you can't leave roll over in the [TS]

01:10:18   back you can at least float along and [TS]

01:10:20   try and regulate your breathing but I [TS]

01:10:23   just can't I just can't I cannot get [TS]

01:10:25   calm and open because the way it's a by [TS]

01:10:29   see right the waves are crashing and I [TS]

01:10:32   just don't you know i'm just not i don't [TS]

01:10:35   like to be in that I'm have if i'm on a [TS]

01:10:37   boogie board i love to be in that but [TS]

01:10:38   I'm gonna start all over [TS]

01:10:40   so barely make it back to shore and I [TS]

01:10:43   get there somehow [TS]

01:10:45   I'm heaving and I and you know all the [TS]

01:10:49   people that are there on the beach [TS]

01:10:50   trying to have a nice time with their [TS]

01:10:51   kid are suddenly dealing with this like [TS]

01:10:54   ectoplasm that's washed up on shore some [TS]

01:10:57   dead whale [TS]

01:10:58   that's done it's still wheezing a little [TS]

01:11:00   bit like that you are an analogy or [TS]

01:11:03   something on me I'm the bio cat whale in [TS]

01:11:06   this and so I'm scared all the kids we [TS]

01:11:09   were having such a nice day having such [TS]

01:11:11   a nice day and then this guy decided he [TS]

01:11:13   was gonna snorkel and he couldn't handle [TS]

01:11:14   it and so it's awful and so I get back [TS]

01:11:18   in and now not only am I [TS]

01:11:20   hyperventilating and panicking and feel [TS]

01:11:22   like I almost drowned but now I'm [TS]

01:11:23   covered in shame because this is a [TS]

01:11:25   simple little while layout snorkel beach [TS]

01:11:29   and daddy can't fucking get his shit [TS]

01:11:32   together and daddy had a panic attack [TS]

01:11:35   oh god I'm so sorry couldn't swim I was [TS]

01:11:37   been so the next day [TS]

01:11:41   fast forward to the next day and I'm [TS]

01:11:43   just like I'm I'm a mad at the ocean and [TS]

01:11:48   I'm more than being mad at the ocean mad [TS]

01:11:50   at myself and I'm like listen you cannot [TS]

01:11:53   let yourself [TS]

01:11:54   this cannot be the missing you can't go [TS]

01:11:57   back into the real world with this have [TS]

01:12:00   it hanging over your head because you [TS]

01:12:01   like to go find the horse and get back [TS]

01:12:03   on it [TS]

01:12:03   that's right you like to snorkel you [TS]

01:12:06   need to get back on this horse and so I [TS]

01:12:09   go down to the beach and I'm like how [TS]

01:12:10   the waves are big and I'm gonna boogie [TS]

01:12:13   board [TS]

01:12:13   I like to boogie board and I don't feel [TS]

01:12:15   worried about the waves even when they [TS]

01:12:17   tangle me all up i do that for a while [TS]

01:12:19   then I'm like alright your snorkel [TS]

01:12:21   sitting over there on the beach you [TS]

01:12:22   gotta get back on the horse and I put it [TS]

01:12:24   on my go over to a different part of the [TS]

01:12:27   beach and I do my like three or four [TS]

01:12:29   times putting the putting my head in the [TS]

01:12:31   water and then I'm then I get trapped in [TS]

01:12:33   some like adjust my face mask OCD where [TS]

01:12:39   I'm standing there like chest deep in [TS]

01:12:41   one or adjusting my face mask for 20 [TS]

01:12:43   minutes because I don't wanna I don't [TS]

01:12:47   wanna put my face in your head still not [TS]

01:12:49   really in the game not in the game but [TS]

01:12:50   I'm like listen you got it you got to [TS]

01:12:52   get right here got your right with Jesus [TS]

01:12:54   who so i finally finally kinda ok here [TS]

01:13:00   we go and put my face in the water and [TS]

01:13:01   I'm like [TS]

01:13:02   oh I'm breathing a little bit too heavy [TS]

01:13:05   i'm not in a column space but I'm not [TS]

01:13:07   panicking I'm like listen you know i'm [TS]

01:13:10   i'm i'm a little hard on myself here in [TS]

01:13:13   like you know you figure this out like [TS]

01:13:15   don't go back out here when you're [TS]

01:13:16   panicking but don't you go back to the [TS]

01:13:19   beach either so you get regulated and I [TS]

01:13:23   get out there and I start paddling and [TS]

01:13:25   I'm like you're fine you're fine and I'm [TS]

01:13:27   breathing fine and I get out there to [TS]

01:13:29   the reef and I'm looking around and I [TS]

01:13:31   see some free stuff some corn some [TS]

01:13:35   starfish and some fish to come look at [TS]

01:13:37   you and it's like okay this is all fine [TS]

01:13:39   I did it [TS]

01:13:40   I'm fine i have i've conquered the thing [TS]

01:13:45   and I'm still breathing a little heavy [TS]

01:13:46   and i'm still not feeling comfortable [TS]

01:13:48   out here but I I got back on the horse [TS]

01:13:52   so now you can now you can go back to [TS]

01:13:55   the beach like your you paid your dues [TS]

01:13:59   here and rather than go into the beach [TS]

01:14:02   by the by the reef where the waves are [TS]

01:14:04   crashing I can't swim out a lot of [TS]

01:14:07   parallel to the beach where there's [TS]

01:14:09   nothing to see it's just sand on the [TS]

01:14:11   bottom and I'm kind of just floating [TS]

01:14:14   along it's like I'm done looking at [TS]

01:14:16   stuff I'm just trying to get back to the [TS]

01:14:18   beach and keep my breathing column and [TS]

01:14:19   I'm just flown over sand and then out of [TS]

01:14:24   the gloaming I see a swimmer coming to [TS]

01:14:29   me and there's a lot of other swimmers [TS]

01:14:31   out there so I'm like here comes a [TS]

01:14:33   swimmer that actually you know that's [TS]

01:14:36   calming it means that there's another [TS]

01:14:37   person that is surviving this experience [TS]

01:14:39   and then I am watching the swimmer and [TS]

01:14:43   then out of the gloaming comes the [TS]

01:14:44   swimmer and it is a giant tortoise as [TS]

01:14:49   big as me are you kidding [TS]

01:14:52   a tortoise that is six foot in [TS]

01:14:55   circumference and he is swimming with [TS]

01:14:59   his tortoise wings slowly and chill and [TS]

01:15:05   he looks at me and I'm like [TS]

01:15:08   whoa and instantly my breathing just [TS]

01:15:11   goes to like oh and then all of a sudden [TS]

01:15:17   I can hear the whale song their whales [TS]

01:15:19   all around us and I'm hearing over here [TS]

01:15:22   whoa whoo all this fucking whale singing [TS]

01:15:26   and I wasn't hearing before because I [TS]

01:15:28   was breathing so hard and this Turtles [TS]

01:15:31   super-slow-mo and he turns just a little [TS]

01:15:36   bit and just come straight at me head-on [TS]

01:15:38   and I'm like what are you doing guy and [TS]

01:15:41   as he gets closer i see that he's you [TS]

01:15:43   know he's enormous and he by choice [TS]

01:15:48   there's a whole ocean that he could be [TS]

01:15:50   in uh huh [TS]

01:15:51   he flies directly underneath me and six [TS]

01:15:56   inches away so that I'm like what is he [TS]

01:15:59   gonna nibble on my peanuts [TS]

01:16:02   what's his plan and he just goes right [TS]

01:16:07   underneath be like like send me some [TS]

01:16:12   turtle love or something and I'm looking [TS]

01:16:16   at his big she'll go underneath me like [TS]

01:16:18   I'm like it's the opening of Star Wars [TS]

01:16:19   turtle crawl and so we're talking about [TS]

01:16:26   a we're talking about how the Empire's [TS]

01:16:28   in a trade dispute [TS]

01:16:29   that's right and so then I flip around [TS]

01:16:31   and I get up alongside of him and my [TS]

01:16:35   kicking and and floating can match his [TS]

01:16:41   like we're swimming side-by-side and [TS]

01:16:45   he's flapping his wings and so I started [TS]

01:16:47   flapping my wings which our hands for [TS]

01:16:50   her in sync with him and we sail [TS]

01:16:55   together in this like and he's looking [TS]

01:16:58   at me and I'm looking at him and he's [TS]

01:17:00   fine with this and I'm fine with it [TS]

01:17:03   we're groovin and we swim all the way [TS]

01:17:06   back across the beach together and I I'm [TS]

01:17:09   taking about one breath a minute at this [TS]

01:17:11   point I'm just like [TS]

01:17:13   I mean all panic in at all panic that I [TS]

01:17:18   ever felt has disappeared to panic about [TS]

01:17:20   seventh-grade math tests is gone [TS]

01:17:22   Wow and I'm hearing like whales all [TS]

01:17:25   around us in the in the tortoises [TS]

01:17:27   hearing the whales he hears that [TS]

01:17:28   everyday it's no big deal to him and he [TS]

01:17:31   flies me back over to the reef where I [TS]

01:17:35   had been kind of hesitating and scared [TS]

01:17:37   and just like okay I see the reef [TS]

01:17:39   alright alright alright and he flies me [TS]

01:17:42   then into the reef like in like over it [TS]

01:17:47   and into the canyons of the reef [TS]

01:17:50   well now i'm just following him and he [TS]

01:17:51   stops every once in awhile really stop [TS]

01:17:54   but he like bends down and eat some [TS]

01:17:56   little bit of something off the off the [TS]

01:17:58   ground off the reef and I'm just right [TS]

01:18:00   behind him and then he flies me over and [TS]

01:18:03   there's another tortoise this is the [TS]

01:18:06   mama tortoise is smaller than me and [TS]

01:18:10   then the big guy kind of takes off and [TS]

01:18:15   he's like hands me off and now i'm [TS]

01:18:17   flying with the momma tortoise and so I [TS]

01:18:21   do this for a while and I'm like the [TS]

01:18:24   waves are still kind of crashing and I'm [TS]

01:18:26   like okay now something now this has [TS]

01:18:29   been something and so I bid you a gia [TS]

01:18:33   totus tortoises because you've got your [TS]

01:18:36   own lives to lead and I head back off [TS]

01:18:40   the reef and I go again back out across [TS]

01:18:42   the sand to get parallel to the beach so [TS]

01:18:46   that i can turn and go into the beach [TS]

01:18:48   because I'm like not going to get any [TS]

01:18:50   better than that [TS]

01:18:51   that was some heavy-ass tortoise like [TS]

01:18:55   connection where the tortoise said [TS]

01:18:57   somebody's freaking out and I'm gonna go [TS]

01:19:00   and have a tortoise intervention that's [TS]

01:19:02   right I'm just gonna go interview i'm [TS]

01:19:04   going to take a moment to calm him down [TS]

01:19:05   and I'm going to tell them out and take [TS]

01:19:06   him over the reef with me so I'm [TS]

01:19:09   floating out swimming along back along [TS]

01:19:12   the beach just thinking about what [TS]

01:19:13   happened [TS]

01:19:15   listening to the whale song and then out [TS]

01:19:17   of the gloaming comes another giant [TS]

01:19:20   tortoise at the same place that I met [TS]

01:19:23   the previous torques [TS]

01:19:24   and this tortoise flies underneath me [TS]

01:19:27   and basically says would you care to [TS]

01:19:30   join me on a trip back to the reef and i [TS]

01:19:33   say i would and so I turn around and [TS]

01:19:37   this tortoise and I fly together all the [TS]

01:19:39   way across the now I'm taking about a [TS]

01:19:42   breath an hour just like all is right [TS]

01:19:47   with the world [TS]

01:19:47   these tortoises are doing some heavy [TS]

01:19:49   they're doing some heavy lifting with me [TS]

01:19:51   and this tortoise the second one [TS]

01:19:53   actually appears to be syncing up its [TS]

01:19:55   movements with me [TS]

01:19:57   whoa so it's like rd are you going to [TS]

01:20:00   flap here i'm gonna flap with you and [TS]

01:20:03   we're looking at each other and just [TS]

01:20:05   cold chillin i go back to the reef with [TS]

01:20:08   that towards that towards kind of [TS]

01:20:09   interacts with the momma tortoise some [TS]

01:20:11   tortoise way and so in a all told at [TS]

01:20:16   this point I've been out there an hour [TS]

01:20:18   plus you know just like just family's [TS]

01:20:21   been worried about you [TS]

01:20:23   well you know I think you can look out [TS]

01:20:24   and see well I mean from the beach you [TS]

01:20:26   look out it's like is that is that [TS]

01:20:28   little stick sticking out of the water [TS]

01:20:29   my guy or is it some other guy and but [TS]

01:20:33   you know they don't really worry about [TS]

01:20:34   me they figure that either i'm going to [TS]

01:20:36   live for a minute I'm yeah yeah so I [TS]

01:20:40   finally get back to the beach and i'm in [TS]

01:20:41   this state of of what I can only [TS]

01:20:45   describe as like total happiness where I [TS]

01:20:50   get out and I'm just like well man I [TS]

01:20:52   mean it's like whoa [TS]

01:20:54   and then I go like that afternoon I go [TS]

01:20:58   to the grocery store to get some food [TS]

01:21:00   and there's some little cheese ball like [TS]

01:21:04   tortoise candy dish carved out of coal [TS]

01:21:09   wood or something on sale at the grocery [TS]

01:21:12   store some real tourist crapolla stuff i [TS]

01:21:15   see it at thrift stores all the time for [TS]

01:21:17   ninety-nine cents and I don't buy but I [TS]

01:21:19   look at this little cold would tortoise [TS]

01:21:22   and it looks just like my tortoise [TS]

01:21:25   wow it's got the little it's got his [TS]

01:21:27   little face [TS]

01:21:28   I'm like I got to have this and so now [TS]

01:21:31   i'm buying now i'm such a hippie that [TS]

01:21:34   i'm buying tortoise crapolla [TS]

01:21:37   because i wanna i want to stay I want to [TS]

01:21:40   stay connected to this guy [TS]

01:21:42   don't breathe once a minute again now [TS]

01:21:44   and so i bought this thing and now it's [TS]

01:21:46   sitting on my piano for the keys i look [TS]

01:21:48   at it every day I'm like what a piece of [TS]

01:21:50   crap that is but it looks like my guy [TS]

01:21:53   looks like my spirit tortoise mm-hmm [TS]

01:21:56   and now I just don't know anything i [TS]

01:21:58   don't know i don't know anything what an [TS]

01:21:59   experience [TS]

01:22:00   yeah yeah I'm some guy i was there was [TS]

01:22:03   there's pre tourists in this post [TS]

01:22:05   tortoise [TS]

01:22:05   well the story's got lots of parts to it [TS]

01:22:08   I mean there's the the scary part about [TS]

01:22:10   how you're having some trouble in the [TS]

01:22:11   water street got a little crazy yeah [TS]

01:22:14   when you were approached by a giant [TS]

01:22:15   tortoise but i think the story that's [TS]

01:22:17   especially when you were handed off to a [TS]

01:22:19   second tortoise right hand it off like [TS]

01:22:22   we go we talk about hot mind I mean [TS]

01:22:25   there's something going on there they [TS]

01:22:27   you know they're like are they must be [TS]

01:22:28   like the Coast Guard the turtle Coast [TS]

01:22:30   Guard well they're old right so they [TS]

01:22:33   know the deal [TS]

01:22:34   they've seen every kind of thing and you [TS]

01:22:40   know they they watch the attack ships [TS]

01:22:42   burn off the shoulder of Orion [TS]

01:22:43   absolutely and so this guy i don't know [TS]

01:22:47   what he was doing he was sitting on the [TS]

01:22:49   bottom or he was way way off from the [TS]

01:22:51   refuse to internal business while these [TS]

01:22:53   Turtles out the Hawaii turtle on google [TS]

01:22:55   images and they look at the is a kind of [TS]

01:22:57   little sort of leopard spotty face its [TS]

01:22:59   body [TS]

01:23:00   ah they're amazing looking they are [TS]

01:23:02   amazing they they really do look like [TS]

01:23:04   fantastical creatures [TS]

01:23:06   yeah and and the thing is I expected [TS]

01:23:08   that because they are living in the [TS]

01:23:09   ocean environment that they move fast [TS]

01:23:12   they're not stare not hanging out with [TS]

01:23:14   you there they're on their way to [TS]

01:23:15   somewhere and they're slow on land but [TS]

01:23:17   they're fast in the ocean but they are [TS]

01:23:19   not they are stay or swimming they're [TS]

01:23:21   flying in super slo-mo em and that's [TS]

01:23:26   what's amazing about snorkeling is that [TS]

01:23:27   you are flying but you're flying in slow [TS]

01:23:29   motion and these guys are I mean I could [TS]

01:23:32   act i could easily keep pace with them [TS]

01:23:35   and maybe they were slowing down just to [TS]

01:23:36   chill with but but yeah they heard over [TS]

01:23:42   the whale song they heard some kind of [TS]

01:23:44   like huffin and puffin my guys here [TS]

01:23:47   comes a panicky snorkeler yeah here's a [TS]

01:23:49   guy trying to master [TS]

01:23:50   his domain and he's making it [TS]

01:23:54   he's you know he survived it we're not [TS]

01:23:57   going to go over to somebody's flailing [TS]

01:23:59   in the water [TS]

01:24:00   this guys doing it but he needs a little [TS]

01:24:02   extra push to realize that the ocean is [TS]

01:24:05   his friend and so here i am now I'm [TS]

01:24:09   walking around and I feel like I'm gonna [TS]

01:24:10   buy a puka shell necklace and i feel [TS]

01:24:12   like i'm going to start like carrying a [TS]

01:24:14   yoga mat with me and I just feel like [TS]

01:24:17   everything is all is right with the [TS]

01:24:19   world and all I need some positivity and [TS]

01:24:21   some eckhart tolle a uh-huh and and i'll [TS]

01:24:25   be back in the game and I don't know [TS]

01:24:29   what to say [TS]

01:24:29   that's thatthat's look very moving [TS]

01:24:31   experience yeah yeah yeahs how however [TS]

01:24:33   how do you have that I mean most of that [TS]

01:24:35   most of my experience with wildlife is [TS]

01:24:37   I'm out what you know feeling like the [TS]

01:24:39   crows are watching me huh [TS]

01:24:41   or uh or I'm in the woods and I'm [TS]

01:24:43   bringing a bell and I'm saying whole [TS]

01:24:44   bear all bear or a or there's a possum [TS]

01:24:49   in my walls [TS]

01:24:50   how did you finally respond to the annex [TS]

01:24:52   tell you your mother particularly [TS]

01:24:53   curious what she thought of it [TS]

01:24:54   well mom wasn't there who my daughter is [TS]

01:25:00   at that age where she doesn't believe [TS]

01:25:01   that things exist that she can't see so [TS]

01:25:03   I was like that the sea is full of giant [TS]

01:25:05   tortoise and she was like blah blah blah [TS]

01:25:10   she was like airplanes are funny [TS]

01:25:13   I'm like yeah alright well one of these [TS]

01:25:15   days you're gonna snorkel and you're [TS]

01:25:17   going to see a giant tortoise and then [TS]

01:25:18   we will be community at that level and [TS]

01:25:22   then my daughter's mother is an avid [TS]

01:25:24   snorkeler and she was when I had my [TS]

01:25:28   panic attack the day before she was very [TS]

01:25:32   she was very supportive but there was [TS]

01:25:37   also an up there is also an angle of [TS]

01:25:39   like i'm not i'm not exactly sure but [TS]

01:25:43   she didn't she was sympathetic as a but [TS]

01:25:47   it was a kind of sit but the way she's [TS]

01:25:49   like tolerant yeah she was like I'm [TS]

01:25:51   sorry that you had a panic attack [TS]

01:25:55   I've scuba dived in in Sumatra sumatra [TS]

01:26:01   now is my new meme [TS]

01:26:03   I'm scuba dived in Sumatra but you had a [TS]

01:26:06   panic attack off of Waimea the gentlest [TS]

01:26:09   of all places so I'm I'm very [TS]

01:26:12   sympathetic to you but not really [TS]

01:26:15   and so I was like I'm you know I'm not [TS]

01:26:16   getting any sympathy around here I'm [TS]

01:26:18   gonna have to do I'm going to take this [TS]

01:26:20   trail on my own but I came back and [TS]

01:26:23   talked about the tortoises and and then [TS]

01:26:26   it was revealed that that was fairly [TS]

01:26:29   unusual and that she had never had that [TS]

01:26:31   experience no tourists never come to her [TS]

01:26:34   and that she's done a lot more this [TS]

01:26:36   normally photons and scuba she's a [TS]

01:26:38   scooper dooper and so when I was [TS]

01:26:41   following this tourists to the reef [TS]

01:26:42   there were snorkelers all around me but [TS]

01:26:44   they had not been invited into the reef [TS]

01:26:46   by a tortoise mm-hmm [TS]

01:26:47   and so they were having the baby having [TS]

01:26:49   a very different experience they were [TS]

01:26:50   floating along and tortoises seemed to [TS]

01:26:52   them to be things that dwelled down [TS]

01:26:54   below and that they could see and have [TS]

01:26:57   like have that experience of like I saw [TS]

01:27:00   a turtle [TS]

01:27:03   I saw one but like my tortoise was [TS]

01:27:08   taking me into his world and saying hey [TS]

01:27:11   I want you to meet my friend who so that [TS]

01:27:15   was a thing where I was like who's scuba [TS]

01:27:17   dived off the coast of sumatra now [TS]

01:27:20   right right so I don't you know [TS]

01:27:24   so now I don't know anything about my [TS]

01:27:26   cynicism is gone i'm breathing once an [TS]

01:27:29   hour [TS]

01:27:30   uh-huh anything about you don't think [TS]

01:27:32   about the turtle [TS]

01:27:33   oh yeah yeah yeah well I think about it [TS]

01:27:35   I think about it now because my little [TS]

01:27:37   key because he's like sitting on my [TS]

01:27:39   piano keys so what's up what's up what's [TS]

01:27:46   up brother supposed to do now you know [TS]

01:27:48   I'm starting to see that the that the [TS]

01:27:49   regretsy is largely turkey feet [TS]

01:27:53   I think it's because it was probably on [TS]

01:27:54   Thanksgiving there's like 80 things that [TS]

01:27:56   look like turkey go back it'll be this [TS]

01:27:58   halloween right before that [TS]

01:27:59   oh icicic now you have one of those peak [TS]

01:28:03   experience type things that people talk [TS]

01:28:05   about now [TS]

01:28:07   now in how do you think that will end up [TS]

01:28:09   affecting you probably still processing [TS]

01:28:10   this i mean it is something now we're [TS]

01:28:12   going to go seek out more of these [TS]

01:28:14   because um can even seek out this kind [TS]

01:28:16   adventure because it seems to me like [TS]

01:28:18   the total came to you [TS]

01:28:20   well yeah but i feel like this is that [TS]

01:28:22   whole industry of this is the whole [TS]

01:28:25   hippie Eat Pray Love industry of people [TS]

01:28:30   better out seeking transformative [TS]

01:28:34   experiences and I do not want to get [TS]

01:28:37   into that racket where I'm like oh I'm [TS]

01:28:40   going up to machu picchu that's just [TS]

01:28:43   kind of two things you don't like it's [TS]

01:28:45   kind of it's a form of substance abuse [TS]

01:28:46   like chasing the dragon and it's kind of [TS]

01:28:50   an eel a little bit of a meal something [TS]

01:28:53   like it's like it's like saying i want [TS]

01:28:54   to new habit [TS]

01:28:55   yeah thank you yeah all of a sudden [TS]

01:28:57   you're a frequent flyer on Malaysia [TS]

01:28:59   Airlines yeah you're going you're going [TS]

01:29:01   to dolphin tours everywhere and have it [TS]

01:29:03   off with having dolphins help deliver [TS]

01:29:04   kids for you instead yeah exactly i [TS]

01:29:06   don't wanna swim with the dolphins [TS]

01:29:07   now I feel like that sex doll face when [TS]

01:29:09   she is the daughter were to swim to you [TS]

01:29:11   serendipitously that would be a [TS]

01:29:12   different matter especially was an [TS]

01:29:13   off-brand non-corporate dolphin a wild [TS]

01:29:16   dolphin if you like [TS]

01:29:17   there you go if you're if I'm if I'm out [TS]

01:29:18   of the ocean listening to whale songs [TS]

01:29:20   and a dolphin comes over [TS]

01:29:21   come on like maybe living there whatever [TS]

01:29:24   they however they talk [TS]

01:29:26   Chicka Chicka Chicka Chicka I don't [TS]

01:29:29   shara say cuckoo cuckoo is ours now [TS]

01:29:36   that's when you know you're around then [TS]

01:29:38   when you start talking to wild dolphins [TS]

01:29:39   don't like garlic that this lhr like on [TS]

01:29:43   The Tonight Show they're wearing a [TS]

01:29:44   banana hat and they're going [TS]

01:29:46   coochie-coochie-coo you can actually do [TS]

01:29:48   you also dolphin friend if that happens [TS]

01:29:51   yes but yeah but i'm not going to go to [TS]

01:29:54   some place off of the coast of Israel [TS]

01:29:56   where the dolphins are like manacled or [TS]

01:30:00   for worse if you dolphin territory [TS]

01:30:03   yeah that they've been psychologically a [TS]

01:30:05   abused shampooed they got shampooed [TS]

01:30:09   where they can't leave the beach now [TS]

01:30:11   because they are addicted the dolphin [TS]

01:30:15   chow or whatever humans have done [TS]

01:30:17   if they can do some they're done they're [TS]

01:30:19   a dolphin show ya didn't you know [TS]

01:30:21   they're handing out like little little [TS]

01:30:23   girl kibbles and bits but how do you [TS]

01:30:25   know the dolphins are out there chasing [TS]

01:30:26   the dragon maybe they want to have a [TS]

01:30:28   better human experience they just can't [TS]

01:30:29   afford because they're hooked on dolphin [TS]

01:30:30   child that's the thing there's they say [TS]

01:30:32   that they're smarter than us John I [TS]

01:30:33   don't know they're sitting around the [TS]

01:30:35   beach they hear a guy panicking [TS]

01:30:36   somewhere up off of haifa he's [TS]

01:30:39   snorkeling he's not having a good day [TS]

01:30:40   helping the dolphins all turn and [TS]

01:30:43   they're like should we go help this guy [TS]

01:30:44   should we go take him on a spirit quest [TS]

01:30:45   and then there's some tingling waiting [TS]

01:30:49   out with dolphin child bring in some [TS]

01:30:50   bell ding ding ding ding come and get it [TS]

01:30:53   okay for the little cheeky the little [TS]

01:30:57   covered wagon comes out from under the [TS]

01:30:59   kitchen sink i love that wagon ya gonna [TS]

01:31:03   do it and the dogs like I well that [TS]

01:31:06   guy's on his own but yes the snorkelers [TS]

01:31:08   having a bad day and that and that he's [TS]

01:31:09   gonna have to solve that for himself [TS]

01:31:10   because I'm not leaving can't save [TS]

01:31:12   everybody and that's that seems like a [TS]

01:31:14   bummer that's not the kind of experience [TS]

01:31:15   I want to have I don't want to go and [TS]

01:31:16   suck to die knowing you're being ignored [TS]

01:31:18   by a dolphin the dolphins all you can [TS]

01:31:20   hear them [TS]

01:31:21   yeah could you you're like help me help [TS]

01:31:24   me get over there and follow I'm sinking [TS]

01:31:27   fast [TS]

01:31:28   yeah I mean and you know and they're [TS]

01:31:30   like where you're like on some Yeti tour [TS]

01:31:33   new phone who dis [TS]

01:31:41   [Music] [TS]