Roderick on the Line

00:00:00 ◼   ► this episode of rock on the line is

00:00:02 ◼   ► sponsored by cards against humanity they

00:00:04 ◼   ► asked us not to read an ad so hey enjoy

00:00:06 ◼   ► the show

00:00:08 ◼   ► [Music]

00:00:13 ◼   ► hello hi John hi Merlin how's it going

00:00:17 ◼   ► great

00:00:19 ◼   ► good all right stay up super duper how

00:00:22 ◼   ► about you

00:00:23 ◼   ► great let's wrap it up alright how many

00:00:25 ◼   ► times when I'm talking about

00:00:27 ◼   ► do-do-do-do-do thanks for tuning in

00:00:30 ◼   ► again yeah thanks for coming to our

00:00:32 ◼   ► normally complain about stuff like that

00:00:34 ◼   ► we are super good right now we've got

00:00:37 ◼   ► you know what wouldn't be finding that

00:00:38 ◼   ► would be funny if we just had a week

00:00:40 ◼   ► where everything was okay

00:00:41 ◼   ► yeah how we imagine that any measure you

00:00:44 ◼   ► know what nothing intolerable nothing I

00:00:46 ◼   ► know it's I've got worse and worse

00:00:49 ◼   ► months everybody was driving fine

00:00:52 ◼   ► yep anything about Hitler one on the

00:00:55 ◼   ► weigh-in today I passed you know there's

00:00:57 ◼   ► a small traffic jam but not one that I

00:00:59 ◼   ► was upset about because the the source

00:01:02 ◼   ► of it was that a cop it pulled over a

00:01:04 ◼   ► lime green lamborghini diablo oh that's

00:01:08 ◼   ► okay

00:01:09 ◼   ► and everybody else looks slow down to

00:01:11 ◼   ► see it and I was like yeah of course of

00:01:14 ◼   ► course

00:01:14 ◼   ► oh my god said that person who whoever

00:01:17 ◼   ► paid for that car probably got to choose

00:01:20 ◼   ► from many many colors

00:01:22 ◼   ► well yeah many many colors mean that

00:01:24 ◼   ► they'll say let's see I mean you had one

00:01:26 ◼   ► black and yellow red white

00:01:28 ◼   ► ok but let's assume even you get three

00:01:30 ◼   ► colors oh and you pick lime-green that's

00:01:34 ◼   ► just you know that way you talk about a

00:01:36 ◼   ► fuck you to everybody

00:01:37 ◼   ► mhm did you notice i'm driving a

00:01:39 ◼   ► Lamborghini Diablo did you notice man

00:01:43 ◼   ► oh then that's a nice car to get pulled

00:01:47 ◼   ► over and it's very luxurious well you

00:01:49 ◼   ► know I can't imagine that you would ever

00:01:51 ◼   ► get out of first gear in it in town and

00:01:53 ◼   ► if you were the type of person that

00:01:55 ◼   ► would drive one around town like that's

00:01:58 ◼   ► the thing about a car like that right

00:01:59 ◼   ► you know driving around town you drive

00:02:01 ◼   ► it you get out of town you take it out

00:02:04 ◼   ► on this number to say but the call was

00:02:06 ◼   ► that with the road you going in Germany

00:02:08 ◼   ► the steinberger said the rash tag the

00:02:11 ◼   ► mainspring some wrangle the right gold

00:02:13 ◼   ► there goes the recycle the original

00:02:16 ◼   ► the ring shot at the nürburgring in

00:02:22 ◼   ► nürburgring nürnberg yeah I have a

00:02:25 ◼   ► couple friends who've driven on the nerd

00:02:27 ◼   ► bird nürburgring our friend Marco Marco

00:02:29 ◼   ► has driven on the Nurburgring in his m7

00:02:32 ◼   ► tourism niners m12 yeah it's pretty nice

00:02:35 ◼   ► guy i'm giving you believe it's a pretty

00:02:36 ◼   ► nice car you never been in it

00:02:38 ◼   ► no I I mean I don't even know that we

00:02:41 ◼   ► need to address or something like that

00:02:43 ◼   ► uh-huh I think they probably probably

00:02:45 ◼   ► she wear something like inside-out

00:02:47 ◼   ► sweatpants something that wouldn't want

00:02:48 ◼   ► more of the seats i'm guessing

00:02:49 ◼   ► inside-out sweatpants maybe a little

00:02:51 ◼   ► sheep skin like ask chap that strips

00:02:56 ◼   ► yeah you know everybody says oh assless

00:02:59 ◼   ► chaps and then all the put the pendants

00:03:01 ◼   ► early Ferb but what about it just a

00:03:04 ◼   ► straight-up just that just the missing

00:03:06 ◼   ► part of said it just lets it down at all

00:03:08 ◼   ► like yeah like a little just little ass

00:03:11 ◼   ► ass infront felt like maybe you don't

00:03:14 ◼   ► want though the weight and performance

00:03:16 ◼   ► characteristics of full-on chaps maybe

00:03:18 ◼   ► you just want the part where you're

00:03:19 ◼   ► asking normally stick out maybe you're

00:03:21 ◼   ► modest you want to go to a parade and

00:03:23 ◼   ► ride on the float but you don't want

00:03:24 ◼   ► your butt cheeks out there

00:03:26 ◼   ► yeah chaps are meant if you're on a

00:03:29 ◼   ► horse who and your horse brushes up

00:03:32 ◼   ► against another horse or a cow or a

00:03:35 ◼   ► fence a with your horses want to do

00:03:38 ◼   ► right horse is trying to knock you off

00:03:40 ◼   ► as best they can John they're doing the

00:03:42 ◼   ► best they can and if they see a

00:03:43 ◼   ► low-hanging branch or a cow

00:03:45 ◼   ► they're going to get up on it and hope

00:03:48 ◼   ► that they can knock you off and that's

00:03:49 ◼   ► why you have chaps on right to keep your

00:03:51 ◼   ► pant legs from getting a braided or

00:03:53 ◼   ► something I don't know why you wear

00:03:54 ◼   ► chaps frankly I but there's lots of

00:03:56 ◼   ► reasons I mean sorta like you're

00:03:58 ◼   ► describing it's like so like why you

00:03:59 ◼   ► would wear gloves there's all kinds of

00:04:00 ◼   ► things you're gonna encounter that could

00:04:01 ◼   ► take a chunk out of you brush let's say

00:04:03 ◼   ► brush probably a lot of brushes by very

00:04:05 ◼   ► coarse point yet parts pointy brush but

00:04:08 ◼   ► what is the equivalent if you're riding

00:04:10 ◼   ► around in marco arment m5 it you don't

00:04:14 ◼   ► need to protect you

00:04:16 ◼   ► you need to protect the car

00:04:19 ◼   ► uh-huh and so you have some sheepskin

00:04:21 ◼   ► reverse chaps which I guess we're just

00:04:24 ◼   ► going to call ass chaps right over or

00:04:28 ◼   ► like

00:04:29 ◼   ► he's a loincloth chaps yeah yeah I think

00:04:33 ◼   ► they'll be a skirt

00:04:34 ◼   ► well except you don't want it on the

00:04:36 ◼   ► side you want to be cool and breezy on

00:04:37 ◼   ► the side you're not touching the car on

00:04:39 ◼   ► the side just wanted you wanted in the

00:04:41 ◼   ► back you wanted in the back to took to

00:04:44 ◼   ► give a nice buff to the leather seats

00:04:46 ◼   ► and not too much it's not too much to

00:04:47 ◼   ► ask

00:04:48 ◼   ► I don't know why you wanted in the front

00:04:49 ◼   ► just for us a comfortable place to

00:04:51 ◼   ► arrest your hands

00:04:52 ◼   ► yeah I don't you want to look at

00:04:53 ◼   ► somebody's while you're driving around

00:04:54 ◼   ► in your BMW exactly exactly right so

00:04:57 ◼   ► it's more of a it's like a ass

00:05:00 ◼   ► it's a it's a it's a it's like a

00:05:02 ◼   ► polishing rag on the bottom i get a

00:05:04 ◼   ► modesty skirt on the front like Elega i

00:05:07 ◼   ► knw burka

00:05:08 ◼   ► yeah okay great name for a BMW by the

00:05:11 ◼   ► way the burqa yeah we tried the new be

00:05:13 ◼   ► taken out on this time Steinberg

00:05:15 ◼   ► instruction so you're gonna get letters

00:05:17 ◼   ► yeah i sure am I sure I wasn't gonna ask

00:05:20 ◼   ► you about yes you get the Germans get

00:05:23 ◼   ► Marc Armand over here i'll copy up ya

00:05:25 ◼   ► know soon as soon as you've been

00:05:32 ◼   ► traveling yeah I've done a lot of

00:05:33 ◼   ► traveling I'm not done yet because as

00:05:35 ◼   ► you know the life of an artist is the

00:05:38 ◼   ► life of an eternal vacation basically

00:05:41 ◼   ► I've just been on a I've just been on

00:05:43 ◼   ► two major warm-weather vacations and now

00:05:46 ◼   ► I'm going on a on a lengthy ski trip

00:05:50 ◼   ► it's it i can't defend it

00:05:54 ◼   ► really yeah i don't i don't produce

00:05:56 ◼   ► anything worthwhile for the world right

00:06:00 ◼   ► I'm yui marking don't feel like you need

00:06:01 ◼   ► to defend that John I'm like a game

00:06:03 ◼   ► designer except they don't even design

00:06:04 ◼   ► games

00:06:05 ◼   ► yeah it's true he has much value though

00:06:07 ◼   ► right i mean you know what we write his

00:06:10 ◼   ► paper hat my daughters like that a

00:06:13 ◼   ► favorite video game right now is a game

00:06:16 ◼   ► where you stare at this same area of a

00:06:19 ◼   ► backyard of a house and try to make cats

00:06:21 ◼   ► come into the yard

00:06:23 ◼   ► I'm doing what you would never do in

00:06:26 ◼   ► real life right and so the answer your

00:06:29 ◼   ► way for cats to come and then you try to

00:06:31 ◼   ► track the cats and then that gives you

00:06:33 ◼   ► the opportunity i don't exactly

00:06:34 ◼   ► understand claim to understand the game

00:06:35 ◼   ► i know it is primarily about collecting

00:06:37 ◼   ► cats you get like pictures of them and

00:06:39 ◼   ► stuff but then also when you I think

00:06:41 ◼   ► your reward for attracting cats it is

00:06:44 ◼   ► you're given the opportunity to buy buy

00:06:46 ◼   ► goods virtual goods inside the game that

00:06:49 ◼   ► enables you to attract more cats

00:06:51 ◼   ► oh sure sure she loves it uh-uh I'm

00:06:55 ◼   ► wondering now that you say this I've

00:06:58 ◼   ► always been very curious about

00:06:59 ◼   ► birdwatchers

00:07:00 ◼   ► oh yeah because they're out here i think

00:07:02 ◼   ► it was a cover up front for something

00:07:04 ◼   ► else

00:07:04 ◼   ► well yeah me too but but the more I look

00:07:06 ◼   ► into it the more it seems that they are

00:07:08 ◼   ► just out for watching Birds gathering

00:07:11 ◼   ► gather it was what they're gathering

00:07:13 ◼   ► having watched a bird collecting the

00:07:16 ◼   ► experience of having seen a bird

00:07:19 ◼   ► yeah and different birds so they're like

00:07:20 ◼   ► did you ever have you ever seen a

00:07:24 ◼   ► spotted throated warboss yeah sure

00:07:28 ◼   ► though the third row warthog yeah the

00:07:30 ◼   ► war or wearing warbling bore blah grow

00:07:34 ◼   ► long and the other person goes yes and

00:07:37 ◼   ► then they both have collected having

00:07:39 ◼   ► seen it over and that's very interesting

00:07:41 ◼   ► to me and they're not in the

00:07:43 ◼   ► birdwatchers of the bird photographers

00:07:44 ◼   ► are different people too so they're not

00:07:46 ◼   ► even watch they're not even collecting

00:07:48 ◼   ► having taken a picture of a thing I've

00:07:51 ◼   ► never had an opportunity to talk about

00:07:52 ◼   ► this and i haven't actually thought

00:07:54 ◼   ► about it that much but as you get older

00:07:57 ◼   ► you start to realize that there are what

00:07:59 ◼   ► you from isms for example use their

00:08:02 ◼   ► existential euphemisms for example like

00:08:05 ◼   ► it let's say you look for opportunities

00:08:07 ◼   ► like for my wife i think i think going

00:08:10 ◼   ► to the gym or going to yoga is very much

00:08:12 ◼   ► about going to the gym and going to yoga

00:08:14 ◼   ► that's always a part of it but but it's

00:08:16 ◼   ► also that she's not with us like she

00:08:18 ◼   ► gets an hour to herself or two hours or

00:08:20 ◼   ► you're saying yeah I'm just like dad

00:08:22 ◼   ► saying all we're out of milk

00:08:24 ◼   ► I'm happy to go to the store and get

00:08:25 ◼   ► some milk uh-huh because you get a

00:08:27 ◼   ► second to yourself and maybe you can

00:08:28 ◼   ► smoke a cigarette

00:08:29 ◼   ► yeah like my grandfather said I'm going

00:08:31 ◼   ► out for a packet

00:08:32 ◼   ► and he didn't come back for 15 years

00:08:34 ◼   ► yeah or like that it's all it's a lot

00:08:36 ◼   ► like that and so I don't know why but as

00:08:37 ◼   ► I got older I started to think it's not

00:08:39 ◼   ► that I can't imagine why someone would

00:08:40 ◼   ► super watching it just it seems a little

00:08:42 ◼   ► obscure it's one of those things like

00:08:44 ◼   ► gorilla costumes are quicksand in the

00:08:45 ◼   ► seventies where it came up so often the

00:08:48 ◼   ► even as weird as it was like is that

00:08:49 ◼   ► much quicksand in the world wait a

00:08:51 ◼   ► minute you are really nailing something

00:08:53 ◼   ► here have you talked about this before

00:08:54 ◼   ► I've mentioned another place I'm not the

00:08:56 ◼   ► only person there is actually her

00:08:57 ◼   ► podcast a few years ago about what

00:08:59 ◼   ► happened quicksand is quicksand was

00:09:01 ◼   ► everywhere it was it was terrified of

00:09:04 ◼   ► quicksand it seemed like it looked

00:09:05 ◼   ► around every corner there was certainly

00:09:07 ◼   ► a period probably half a year wherever I

00:09:09 ◼   ► would avoid sand because given the

00:09:10 ◼   ► exposure in the media

00:09:12 ◼   ► I had to assume that there was quicksand

00:09:13 ◼   ► out there I just didn't know about and

00:09:14 ◼   ► also people Gorillaz it's so well about

00:09:16 ◼   ► that was not true i expected that though

00:09:19 ◼   ► and-and-and birthday party clowns oh I

00:09:22 ◼   ► still never met anybody who actually

00:09:23 ◼   ► looks forward to meeting a cloud

00:09:25 ◼   ► no but we were going to believe your

00:09:27 ◼   ► soul to build good John we were led to

00:09:28 ◼   ► believe that there was a clown culture

00:09:30 ◼   ► out there that somebody like and I've

00:09:31 ◼   ► never met anybody who wasn't a clown who

00:09:35 ◼   ► actually like the clown see I don't mind

00:09:36 ◼   ► clowns but I had a traumatic clown

00:09:38 ◼   ► experience as a child of God but i'm

00:09:40 ◼   ► wondering how quick stand fits into the

00:09:43 ◼   ► Bermuda Triangle a Bigfoot Loch Ness

00:09:49 ◼   ► monster sure that the in search of era

00:09:52 ◼   ► yeah like what how did quick same factor

00:09:54 ◼   ► into that that's so interesting it seems

00:09:56 ◼   ► it seems contemporaneous what you're all

00:09:58 ◼   ► so you're telling this like there was

00:09:59 ◼   ► this period where there has to be a

00:10:01 ◼   ► reason why this was and maybe it was

00:10:03 ◼   ► like post hippie like free new-age

00:10:06 ◼   ► America was very interested in all kinds

00:10:09 ◼   ► of like what do concepts about remember

00:10:11 ◼   ► there's that period even before in

00:10:13 ◼   ► search of there was that time life set

00:10:15 ◼   ► of books but there's all this too

00:10:16 ◼   ► interesting aliens about the you know

00:10:19 ◼   ► the ETA is coming to visit us

00:10:20 ◼   ► sure secret Nazi weapons shore

00:10:23 ◼   ► underground or underwater kingdoms you

00:10:26 ◼   ► got to get the Sasquatch yep right at

00:10:29 ◼   ► the Bigfoot Loch Ness monster it was

00:10:31 ◼   ► everywhere I think this is part of the

00:10:33 ◼   ► appeal now that we're talking about it

00:10:35 ◼   ► of the original Indiana Jones movie

00:10:37 ◼   ► oh remember we all went into that he's

00:10:39 ◼   ► got a lot of those elements yeah and

00:10:41 ◼   ► where

00:10:41 ◼   ► we were asked as ten-year-old kids 12

00:10:44 ◼   ► year old kids we were primed to think

00:10:47 ◼   ► that there were little you know little

00:10:49 ◼   ► secret Mayan temples full of gold idols

00:10:52 ◼   ► and and secret Nazi weapons in Nazi

00:10:56 ◼   ► weapons you've also got sort of like a

00:10:58 ◼   ► like the whole like religious cult

00:11:01 ◼   ► supernatural component parties into the

00:11:03 ◼   ► Nazis yes it's all it's all baked into

00:11:07 ◼   ► the Bermuda Triangle scene now and they

00:11:10 ◼   ► had snakes in that I don't remember

00:11:12 ◼   ► there being quicksand but also you know

00:11:15 ◼   ► quicksand is also a fetish there are

00:11:16 ◼   ► quicksand fetishists really there are

00:11:19 ◼   ► people who think it's kinda it's a sexy

00:11:21 ◼   ► thing for some people

00:11:22 ◼   ► I get that I get that I grew up with

00:11:25 ◼   ► enough for something on TV and you're

00:11:26 ◼   ► gonna want to masturbate to it

00:11:27 ◼   ► eventually

00:11:28 ◼   ► quicksand figures prominently in the

00:11:29 ◼   ► princess bride in the princess bride

00:11:32 ◼   ► Oh what's the idea that the heels you

00:11:35 ◼   ► got the oh that's right yeah you're

00:11:37 ◼   ► right

00:11:38 ◼   ► yeah I don't understand i'm still trying

00:11:41 ◼   ► to parse it is this is coming up more

00:11:43 ◼   ► and more you know i was just on a cruise

00:11:45 ◼   ► yeah and I we were invited to visit the

00:11:48 ◼   ► bridge which I had never had never been

00:11:50 ◼   ► invited to the bridge before and they

00:11:53 ◼   ► didn't look at the computer but not it

00:11:57 ◼   ► that's not huh

00:11:58 ◼   ► no they're sailors up there in various

00:11:59 ◼   ► uniforms who and there's a captain in

00:12:02 ◼   ► our case he was a ship captain from

00:12:04 ◼   ► Winnipeg which right away that should

00:12:06 ◼   ► ring some alarm bells is a landlocked

00:12:09 ◼   ► area John yeah they're yeah

00:12:11 ◼   ► winnipeg doesn't know where a lot of

00:12:12 ◼   ► doesn't doesn't have this to see in his

00:12:14 ◼   ► veins

00:12:14 ◼   ► nothing normally when you need to see

00:12:16 ◼   ► Captain he's either from the Netherlands

00:12:18 ◼   ► or from the Netherlands all right there

00:12:21 ◼   ► off from the netherlands in other words

00:12:23 ◼   ► or from Greece the whole the boats all

00:12:25 ◼   ► the boats it's like they don't boats

00:12:27 ◼   ► have their own delaware isn't a delaware

00:12:29 ◼   ► of boats you always register in it but

00:12:32 ◼   ► me or what is it is one place where

00:12:35 ◼   ► everybody registers to think it's the

00:12:36 ◼   ► bell whereas Nassau yeah something like

00:12:38 ◼   ► that and then you so you get your boat

00:12:40 ◼   ► and you act like it's from the Delaware

00:12:41 ◼   ► of boats and then you hire some some

00:12:43 ◼   ► tall blond guy to run your book because

00:12:45 ◼   ► he's always a

00:12:46 ◼   ► another lender yeah yeah the the

00:12:49 ◼   ► Nederlanders grow up basically knee-deep

00:12:51 ◼   ► in water and that's how they become ship

00:12:54 ◼   ► captains because it's the only way they

00:12:56 ◼   ► can on the water ya got the water get up

00:12:58 ◼   ► onto a boat and your people dry out

00:13:00 ◼   ► eventually

00:13:00 ◼   ► the Greeks also there are a lot of

00:13:02 ◼   ► islands there and they they're all

00:13:04 ◼   ► Abbott sailors but this guy's Canadians

00:13:07 ◼   ► oh ok i mean the kid obviously the

00:13:10 ◼   ► Canadians have a lot of sailors but not

00:13:13 ◼   ► from Winnipeg

00:13:14 ◼   ► yeah but don't have any boats right one

00:13:17 ◼   ► category well this is no you got to get

00:13:19 ◼   ► that area on the east coast where they

00:13:20 ◼   ► got a boat almost like there's no boats

00:13:22 ◼   ► but you don't have sufficient votes to

00:13:24 ◼   ► sellers not enough but I mean is there

00:13:26 ◼   ► like a large amount of Navy I in say

00:13:29 ◼   ► like that like whether we get the

00:13:31 ◼   ► saskatoon is a place in Canada but

00:13:33 ◼   ► there's no Navy there you get the Navy

00:13:35 ◼   ► in Toronto I you're not gonna have a lot

00:13:38 ◼   ► of maybe although there's a there's a

00:13:39 ◼   ► there's a lake you have a lake Navy and

00:13:41 ◼   ► heroin you haven't yeah you'd have

00:13:43 ◼   ► thought the old heroin maybe but you

00:13:45 ◼   ► know candy and Canada's Navy is very

00:13:48 ◼   ► important because Canada needs to

00:13:50 ◼   ► protect its Arctic sea ways

00:13:52 ◼   ► Oh like way up there old boy that's that

00:13:55 ◼   ► that is a gig I would not want

00:13:57 ◼   ► well yeah except see this is the thing

00:13:59 ◼   ► about the measure for the quicksand is

00:14:01 ◼   ► probably not a lot of quicksand when you

00:14:02 ◼   ► got that no don't know what's up there

00:14:03 ◼   ► because it has frozen over quicksand

00:14:05 ◼   ► well but that's the ice recedes there

00:14:07 ◼   ► might be there might be a a lien a

00:14:10 ◼   ► civilization that mean that's where

00:14:12 ◼   ► you're going to find it

00:14:12 ◼   ► Bermuda triangles yes a big foots quick

00:14:15 ◼   ► ice quick guys

00:14:17 ◼   ► quicksand Mayan temples it could all be

00:14:20 ◼   ► up there so not a lot of territory

00:14:23 ◼   ► there's a lot you know I think the

00:14:24 ◼   ► coastline of canada is like the longest

00:14:27 ◼   ► coastline in the world or something like

00:14:28 ◼   ► that because it just is all crazy up

00:14:30 ◼   ► there but as the chasm and abroad

00:14:33 ◼   ► well also yeah no true Scotsman but the

00:14:37 ◼   ► but all the nations of the world are now

00:14:38 ◼   ► trying to scoot in and out of these

00:14:41 ◼   ► canadian areas because the sea ice has

00:14:46 ◼   ► receded and there's oil up there and so

00:14:48 ◼   ► Canada's got a whole Navy that's all

00:14:49 ◼   ► worried about that they're not worried

00:14:53 ◼   ► about pot smuggling anymore because it's

00:14:55 ◼   ► all coming from Canada

00:14:57 ◼   ► anyway so this guy's for me a Winnipeg

00:15:01 ◼   ► and here's the here's the rub are you

00:15:03 ◼   ► ready ready here's why I got to go to

00:15:06 ◼   ► the bridge because the captain who was

00:15:09 ◼   ► 65 years old is an enormous wil wheaton

00:15:13 ◼   ► fan

00:15:14 ◼   ► oh interesting and he hears will

00:15:16 ◼   ► weakness on his boat and he's like got

00:15:19 ◼   ► me well we bring him to the bridge

00:15:23 ◼   ► yeah exactly everything that whistle

00:15:25 ◼   ► noise well so of course will has the

00:15:29 ◼   ► communicator sound oh my god wait a

00:15:32 ◼   ► minute okay own I believe I'm putting

00:15:34 ◼   ► this together now

00:15:35 ◼   ► oh my god and he's akiza kills you he

00:15:38 ◼   ► was on the star trac yeah in the in the

00:15:40 ◼   ► eighties that's correct or not you're a

00:15:42 ◼   ► tease

00:15:43 ◼   ► yeah it was in college he was on the

00:15:45 ◼   ► star track and and he was he played he

00:15:48 ◼   ► played Beverly Crusher and he was the

00:15:50 ◼   ► guy with the crab face right yeah

00:15:51 ◼   ► exactly like cats

00:15:53 ◼   ► he i thought was the one to me talking

00:15:56 ◼   ► penguin and smoke a cigarette in a long

00:15:58 ◼   ► sort of a pipe

00:16:00 ◼   ► oh yeah right that's the that's a guy's

00:16:01 ◼   ► Balfour that's the name of the bartender

00:16:03 ◼   ► it was in another color purple

00:16:04 ◼   ► well and he's the reason better but the

00:16:06 ◼   ► Middle East is so unevenly defined well

00:16:08 ◼   ► I didn't bring it up here but in any

00:16:10 ◼   ► case this is so great we round out the

00:16:13 ◼   ► guy from Star track is on his boat

00:16:14 ◼   ► that's right and on the first thing he

00:16:17 ◼   ► says when we walked onto the bridges he

00:16:19 ◼   ► points to his captain's cheerios we had

00:16:21 ◼   ► that modeled off of the enterprise and

00:16:24 ◼   ► we all you know get courtesy chuckle

00:16:25 ◼   ► he's super nice guy super nice captain

00:16:28 ◼   ► he walks around as I say wills phone

00:16:31 ◼   ► periodically he would get a text and it

00:16:33 ◼   ► would make the communicator sound and

00:16:35 ◼   ► the captain would like literally giggle

00:16:37 ◼   ► what you mean this guy's like 280 pounds

00:16:41 ◼   ► like sea captain all of his all of his

00:16:43 ◼   ► staff

00:16:44 ◼   ► I'm talking about like hundreds of

00:16:45 ◼   ► sailors when he walks by they all cower

00:16:48 ◼   ► I mean not because then I'm sure not

00:16:51 ◼   ► because he's mean but because the it's

00:16:53 ◼   ► the law of the sea right he's the

00:16:55 ◼   ► captain

00:16:55 ◼   ► that's a pretty big deal on a boat you

00:16:57 ◼   ► don't step onto the bridge unless you've

00:16:59 ◼   ► you know unless you like it's his boat

00:17:01 ◼   ► it's his boat that's how that's how

00:17:04 ◼   ► captioning works it's a pretty big deal

00:17:05 ◼   ► i think yeah there was a there was a

00:17:07 ◼   ► there's a button in in some of the

00:17:09 ◼   ► public bathrooms it says you know in in

00:17:11 ◼   ► better emergency push this button but

00:17:13 ◼   ► don't push this button frivolously

00:17:14 ◼   ► because it rings on the bridge but we

00:17:17 ◼   ► will come rescue you and we will come

00:17:19 ◼   ► rescue you

00:17:20 ◼   ► hard as a former productivity expert

00:17:22 ◼   ► have to tell you that is that is a

00:17:23 ◼   ► category terrible idea

00:17:25 ◼   ► well it's not like the captain's gonna

00:17:26 ◼   ► come but it was just a moment just one

00:17:28 ◼   ► song someone in the bathroom having a

00:17:30 ◼   ► problem clean with an emergency but it's

00:17:32 ◼   ► like it's their way of saying like if

00:17:35 ◼   ► you're having an emergency it had better

00:17:36 ◼   ► fucking be an emergency right we're

00:17:39 ◼   ► gonna send sailors here but so many were

00:17:41 ◼   ► walking around the bridge and and you

00:17:45 ◼   ► know whenever people are there's not a

00:17:46 ◼   ► very small group of us and people are

00:17:48 ◼   ► asking and polite questions like what is

00:17:50 ◼   ► this knob do and what's the you know

00:17:53 ◼   ► what are what's this knob do like

00:17:55 ◼   ► nobody's got nobody knows what to say to

00:17:57 ◼   ► a sea captain and so so I said what's

00:18:01 ◼   ► the weirdest thing you've ever seen come

00:18:02 ◼   ► out of the sea and he says I saw sunfish

00:18:07 ◼   ► which is an enormous fish are perfectly

00:18:12 ◼   ► round fish that floats on the top of the

00:18:14 ◼   ► floats on the surface of the sea and

00:18:18 ◼   ► they're very rare nobody ever sees them

00:18:21 ◼   ► wow I saw one and I didn't know what it

00:18:23 ◼   ► was this is not a cryptozoological thing

00:18:24 ◼   ► this is like that this has been

00:18:26 ◼   ► legitimated by schools and stuff so he

00:18:28 ◼   ► has seen one and it is this is guys

00:18:30 ◼   ► spent 50 years on the sea or ever since

00:18:33 ◼   ► I've seen a sunfish and I didn't know

00:18:35 ◼   ► what it was a freak me out because its

00:18:37 ◼   ► enormous right it's the size of a

00:18:38 ◼   ► trampoline or something right and then

00:18:41 ◼   ► he said I saw second one and I knew what

00:18:43 ◼   ► it was by that point and I marveled at

00:18:46 ◼   ► it was like okay weird creature of the

00:18:49 ◼   ► deep and then I said I mean all these

00:18:52 ◼   ► years staring out of the sea

00:18:53 ◼   ► have you ever seen UFOs

00:18:56 ◼   ► just just like that without any kind of

00:18:57 ◼   ► like just I was just like all right sci

00:19:00 ◼   ► fi star trek captain let's get down to

00:19:02 ◼   ► the nitty-gritty you are standing on

00:19:04 ◼   ► this bridge staring out at the open sea

00:19:06 ◼   ► for years at a time

00:19:09 ◼   ► let's hear UFO shit and at that moment

00:19:12 ◼   ► all of his crew like all the junior

00:19:16 ◼   ► officers were but they all stare at the

00:19:18 ◼   ► shoes I was like oh the captain says

00:19:22 ◼   ► I've seen lights over the Bahamas that

00:19:27 ◼   ► behaved unlike a ship or plane

00:19:31 ◼   ► mmm unexplained lights over the Bahamas

00:19:34 ◼   ► you must when you're in like coming up

00:19:36 ◼   ► in in whatever the Navy is in Canada you

00:19:39 ◼   ► you must see all you must have so many

00:19:41 ◼   ► hours you spend visually identifying

00:19:43 ◼   ► what something is or what something

00:19:44 ◼   ► could be you must get really good at

00:19:46 ◼   ► that over its all you do I mean there

00:19:48 ◼   ► were there were guys you would know you

00:19:49 ◼   ► would know it would be like all day long

00:19:50 ◼   ► you're inspecting hot dogs and selling

00:19:52 ◼   ► there's a poodle there and you go I

00:19:53 ◼   ► definitely know that this does not

00:19:54 ◼   ► belong here

00:19:55 ◼   ► yeah these guys are standing on this up

00:19:58 ◼   ► with this like 200 degree view looking

00:20:02 ◼   ► out onto a perfectly flat ocean and you

00:20:05 ◼   ► can see to the horizon in every

00:20:07 ◼   ► direction and that's all they do they

00:20:08 ◼   ► just sit there and stare out and

00:20:10 ◼   ► everyone smile they raise some

00:20:11 ◼   ► binoculars to their eyes and they look

00:20:13 ◼   ► out and see I don't know what flotsam

00:20:15 ◼   ► jetsam huh

00:20:17 ◼   ► and so when a sea captain tells me

00:20:19 ◼   ► unexplained lights over the Bahamas and

00:20:21 ◼   ► he says unlike a ship or a plane so that

00:20:24 ◼   ► implies that they're kinda down in the

00:20:25 ◼   ► ship area but they're not acting like a

00:20:28 ◼   ► ship was like okay cat okay see Captain

00:20:32 ◼   ► that's a good story and then I said

00:20:35 ◼   ► what's the taller I said Jesse a rogue

00:20:37 ◼   ► wave and he said I've talked two

00:20:40 ◼   ► captains that have encountered rogue

00:20:41 ◼   ► waves but I've never seen one so that

00:20:44 ◼   ► was interesting that's in a way out of

00:20:45 ◼   ► nowhere that's probably high massive

00:20:48 ◼   ► wave out of nowhere just sitting on a

00:20:49 ◼   ► calm sea and then all of a sudden whoa

00:20:51 ◼   ► super wave and the last question he said

00:20:54 ◼   ► was what's that what's the tallest see

00:20:56 ◼   ► you ever saw and he said I was

00:20:59 ◼   ► captaining a freighter I was Captain

00:21:02 ◼   ► afraid or out of newfoundland i love the

00:21:04 ◼   ► story already and he said I was south of

00:21:08 ◼   ► Greenland

00:21:09 ◼   ► during the perfect storm the outer most

00:21:14 ◼   ► famous one for the movie the famous

00:21:16 ◼   ► perfect storm and he said the bridge on

00:21:19 ◼   ► that ship was 50 feet off the sea and he

00:21:23 ◼   ► said I had to lean forward and look out

00:21:26 ◼   ► look up out the window to see the crests

00:21:29 ◼   ► of the waves my god I was like that's a

00:21:32 ◼   ► good story sea captain I'm I'm really

00:21:35 ◼   ► warming up to you i want to sit here on

00:21:37 ◼   ► the bridge and ask you more questions

00:21:38 ◼   ► but then they show up they shuffled this

00:21:42 ◼   ► away

00:21:43 ◼   ► shuffle shuffle the rest of us away but

00:21:45 ◼   ► we'll wait and stayed behind to talk

00:21:46 ◼   ► about the left

00:21:48 ◼   ► I i stayed in the door to watch their

00:21:50 ◼   ► exchange and the captain was like it was

00:21:52 ◼   ► like to be in stand by me when he was

00:21:54 ◼   ► just super fan i love that it was like

00:21:56 ◼   ► and was like well you know it's been 30

00:21:58 ◼   ► years since stand by me and they both

00:22:00 ◼   ► marvel that bad

00:22:02 ◼   ► well says he's gracious guy though I can

00:22:03 ◼   ► be he handles the situation situation

00:22:05 ◼   ► like that well she is amazing that such

00:22:07 ◼   ► any such as a good fellow

00:22:09 ◼   ► yeah so anyway that was very interesting

00:22:11 ◼   ► but it can friend that you know what we

00:22:13 ◼   ► were in the Bermuda Triangle while we

00:22:15 ◼   ► were having this conversation that's not

00:22:17 ◼   ► smart

00:22:17 ◼   ► we were sailing through the Bermuda

00:22:19 ◼   ► Triangle while I conjured up a alien

00:22:23 ◼   ► stories from the sea captain and I swear

00:22:27 ◼   ► all of his staff got really

00:22:28 ◼   ► uncomfortable we start talking about

00:22:29 ◼   ► UFOs what do you think that is I don't

00:22:31 ◼   ► know maybe maybe the sea captain isn't

00:22:33 ◼   ► supposed to be

00:22:35 ◼   ► he's not he's not supposed to let there

00:22:38 ◼   ► be anything that he doesn't control i

00:22:41 ◼   ► can think of a lot of release a handful

00:22:42 ◼   ► of reasons I mean what with other first

00:22:45 ◼   ► reason if this is a movie was that it

00:22:47 ◼   ► was something everybody saw and agreed

00:22:49 ◼   ► with and it was a known thing that

00:22:52 ◼   ► everybody lots of people had seen and

00:22:54 ◼   ► you don't talk about cuz of America then

00:22:57 ◼   ► the other one would be and we're pretty

00:22:59 ◼   ► sure you didn't really see that and he

00:23:01 ◼   ► keeps talking about a lot haha that's

00:23:03 ◼   ► the kind of thing where somebody

00:23:04 ◼   ► somebody somebody calls the Delaware

00:23:06 ◼   ► boats to you know you know say yeah yeah

00:23:08 ◼   ► yeah well I didn't get the sense that

00:23:10 ◼   ► they were uncomfortable like here he

00:23:12 ◼   ► goes again it was a night just like that

00:23:15 ◼   ► huh but i do feel like they're there

00:23:17 ◼   ► might be some America of the sea like

00:23:20 ◼   ► first rule of

00:23:23 ◼   ► be captaining is don't talk about see

00:23:24 ◼   ► captaining where you're like yeah there

00:23:28 ◼   ► are fucking aliens living under the

00:23:29 ◼   ► ocean behind train hard to train if that

00:23:32 ◼   ► were actually the rules of sea captain

00:23:33 ◼   ► club haha no you just what you walk

00:23:36 ◼   ► around behind another sea captain and he

00:23:37 ◼   ► tells you nothing who you follow him for

00:23:39 ◼   ► long enough so you get you get even

00:23:41 ◼   ► realize that you guys that he was you

00:23:43 ◼   ► the whole time

00:23:44 ◼   ► ok because coming from inside the

00:23:47 ◼   ► captain 00

00:23:52 ◼   ► welcome back did you get to go to that

00:23:55 ◼   ► weird island on haiti where the person

00:23:57 ◼   ► got lost did you go to that we didn't go

00:23:59 ◼   ► to Haiti this time it was a it was there

00:24:01 ◼   ► was it was afraid little I i stayed off

00:24:06 ◼   ► the st. Thomas because i had had a bad

00:24:08 ◼   ► experience last time i went to st.

00:24:09 ◼   ► Thomas not a there was nothing terrible

00:24:11 ◼   ► about it i just had an enjoyable time

00:24:14 ◼   ► uh-huh but I did go to st. Maarten which

00:24:16 ◼   ► aisle which I like a lot and I had a

00:24:19 ◼   ► very nice time in st. Maarten although

00:24:20 ◼   ► my daughter barf

00:24:21 ◼   ► wait a minute you brought your family oh

00:24:24 ◼   ► absolutely haha the whole gang

00:24:26 ◼   ► I I said part of your own merit of the

00:24:27 ◼   ► seeds you never bring your family again

00:24:30 ◼   ► well you know I i have my room which is

00:24:33 ◼   ► provided for me by the choco cruise

00:24:34 ◼   ► where I their death in steerage

00:24:38 ◼   ► where is much more than they all have

00:24:41 ◼   ► cabins right no kinds for normal people

00:24:44 ◼   ► are normal you bring the entire

00:24:45 ◼   ► complement of women in your life i did I

00:24:47 ◼   ► got their break every woman i could

00:24:48 ◼   ► think of all thrilled

00:24:50 ◼   ► let's see there were 12 345 whoa five

00:24:55 ◼   ► family ladies I didn't bring every woman

00:24:57 ◼   ► i could think of that would be a hell of

00:25:00 ◼   ► a weird cruise but I that spreads the

00:25:03 ◼   ► stuff of nightmares look oh my god every

00:25:06 ◼   ► single it says it's a bespoke cruise

00:25:08 ◼   ► where every single person on there is a

00:25:09 ◼   ► woman that you've wronged

00:25:11 ◼   ► yeah right i mean i-i depending if there

00:25:14 ◼   ► was a code of conduct that everybody had

00:25:16 ◼   ► to agree to before we got on the boat

00:25:18 ◼   ► maybe it could be fun cruise but if I

00:25:21 ◼   ► but I get the feeling knowing the people

00:25:23 ◼   ► that I've known they would all agree to

00:25:25 ◼   ► the code of conduct with no intention of

00:25:27 ◼   ► polling it absolutely not i would not

00:25:29 ◼   ► sure and then we can you imagine the

00:25:30 ◼   ► kind of breakout receptions that they're

00:25:33 ◼   ► having it could be regional it could be

00:25:35 ◼   ► a certain time

00:25:36 ◼   ► I'm it could be a certain industry there

00:25:38 ◼   ► there might just be people that you know

00:25:40 ◼   ► work to pursue can they would have a

00:25:41 ◼   ► meeting over here you know well I mean

00:25:43 ◼   ► uh Lido deck on the leader or the ones

00:25:45 ◼   ► that would bump into each other on the

00:25:46 ◼   ► deck and go oh my god you look exactly

00:25:48 ◼   ► like me what does that say oh my god

00:25:51 ◼   ► he'd be like no no totally coincidence

00:25:53 ◼   ► have the doc martin breakout room

00:25:55 ◼   ► everybody free playing games in the

00:25:58 ◼   ► basement when maybe look and they all

00:26:00 ◼   ► have roadrunner tattoos

00:26:05 ◼   ► what if he made you what

00:26:09 ◼   ► oh god that we sell off so yeah that was

00:26:15 ◼   ► fun and you know end of the family uh

00:26:17 ◼   ► the family there were enough family

00:26:20 ◼   ► members that they could entertain

00:26:21 ◼   ► themselves and my daughter was old

00:26:24 ◼   ► enough to go to the what she called be

00:26:28 ◼   ► it was the preschool right they have a

00:26:30 ◼   ► day of daycare preschool fun place for

00:26:33 ◼   ► kids which which she mispronounced as

00:26:37 ◼   ► the Aqua nuts who she was like I'm an

00:26:40 ◼   ► Aquanaut take me to the Aqua nuts i was

00:26:43 ◼   ► like aqua nuts that skeezy is exactly

00:26:46 ◼   ► right and that's when our podcast turned

00:26:48 ◼   ► into cute things the kids say about the

00:26:51 ◼   ► soft-serve machine she ever discover

00:26:52 ◼   ► that she knew all about it she knew

00:26:54 ◼   ► about it long before we got on the boat

00:26:55 ◼   ► was destination for us it was for me

00:26:58 ◼   ► last year the up to get soft serve any

00:27:00 ◼   ► time you feel like it but i only went

00:27:02 ◼   ► there once this time I never want to

00:27:03 ◼   ► johnny rockets a single time

00:27:05 ◼   ► what I basically just sat on the sand on

00:27:07 ◼   ► my balcony and calculated trajectories

00:27:10 ◼   ► for 12-pound cannonballs for everything

00:27:13 ◼   ► that we passed I was like can I hit that

00:27:16 ◼   ► with the 12-pound cannonball could I hit

00:27:18 ◼   ► that with a 12-pound cannonball I spent

00:27:21 ◼   ► a lot of time doing that mhm uh but uh

00:27:24 ◼   ► but yeah I was it was a you know next

00:27:27 ◼   ► year I i want to turn this into an

00:27:30 ◼   ► advertisement an unpaid advertisement i

00:27:32 ◼   ► might add for the Joe Cruz but next year

00:27:35 ◼   ► were where to buy out taking over an

00:27:38 ◼   ► entire boat uh-huh and leaving from San

00:27:40 ◼   ► Diego

00:27:41 ◼   ► uh-huh and so it's gonna be bananas

00:27:44 ◼   ► it's already bananas and so it's really

00:27:46 ◼   ► it's actually a really good idea

00:27:47 ◼   ► yeah it's it's gonna be it's gonna be

00:27:49 ◼   ► totally crazy and we have discussed at

00:27:51 ◼   ► length different stratagems to prohibit

00:27:55 ◼   ► sea monkeys from turning it into a

00:27:58 ◼   ► clothing-optional cruise because I know

00:28:00 ◼   ► they're at least a hundred fifty of them

00:28:02 ◼   ► that would take off all their clothes

00:28:04 ◼   ► the moment they got on the boat we think

00:28:06 ◼   ► so

00:28:06 ◼   ► oh yeah well it's part of the you know

00:28:08 ◼   ► it's part of the sex positivity of of

00:28:11 ◼   ► the overarching doctrine of tourism

00:28:13 ◼   ► which says hey you know like what's the

00:28:17 ◼   ► matter why don't body shame me I want to

00:28:19 ◼   ► be naked right now with this door she's

00:28:21 ◼   ► my flip-flops the worst shoe of all and

00:28:26 ◼   ► so I so I absolutely as soon as it was

00:28:29 ◼   ► as soon as we even started talking two

00:28:31 ◼   ► years ago about taking over whole boat I

00:28:33 ◼   ► was like fucking nerd sex cruise

00:28:36 ◼   ► watch out and so then we started all

00:28:39 ◼   ► talking about it like what are we gonna

00:28:40 ◼   ► do like is if this just turns into a

00:28:43 ◼   ► total Pig pile right like a black guys

00:28:45 ◼   ► sexperiment I'd be like how's that going

00:28:50 ◼   ► to go over their kids on the boat I'm

00:28:51 ◼   ► not sure that I want to go every night

00:28:53 ◼   ► like there's a game room but what if

00:28:54 ◼   ► there was one thing everybody was naked

00:28:56 ◼   ► in the game taking 20-sided die up one

00:29:00 ◼   ► another

00:29:01 ◼   ► no I haven't done shower yeah i know but

00:29:04 ◼   ► i think we've got I think we have we've

00:29:06 ◼   ► covered that now we've discussed it sort

00:29:08 ◼   ► of hope someone openly with everybody

00:29:10 ◼   ► and said like it's family cruise you be

00:29:13 ◼   ► making in your room but you always could

00:29:15 ◼   ► have done that family cruise i bring my

00:29:17 ◼   ► family as previously noted i'm not sure

00:29:20 ◼   ► that makes it a family curse

00:29:21 ◼   ► ah-ah-ah-choo call family family and

00:29:25 ◼   ► that's a terrible word that gets used to

00:29:27 ◼   ► mean too many different things by

00:29:28 ◼   ► terrible people right

00:29:29 ◼   ► I I you could bring kids on that I don't

00:29:33 ◼   ► know if it's the best thing but you know

00:29:35 ◼   ► and it's interesting because what that

00:29:37 ◼   ► cruise seems to have become over the

00:29:39 ◼   ► years is very much its own thing to wear

00:29:41 ◼   ► it seems like an actual also credit

00:29:43 ◼   ► folks who run it like you know

00:29:45 ◼   ► especially with Paul goes through with

00:29:47 ◼   ► the work that he does on that I mean I

00:29:49 ◼   ► know he's not the only one there's a

00:29:50 ◼   ► whole staff but I mean like my god it's

00:29:52 ◼   ► just a huge amount of work to make

00:29:53 ◼   ► everybody's happy as they can be made is

00:29:56 ◼   ► staggering but it really

00:29:57 ◼   ► seems like it's become something how do

00:29:59 ◼   ► I put this in a nice way it's it's

00:30:01 ◼   ► definitely still the Joker cruise right

00:30:02 ◼   ► but it's kind of it's really about the

00:30:05 ◼   ► folks who go on it now and Johnson

00:30:07 ◼   ► doesn't really need to be there for it

00:30:09 ◼   ► to be the Joe Cruz I've been saying for

00:30:11 ◼   ► a few years now that the final the final

00:30:14 ◼   ► iteration of this the final form he will

00:30:18 ◼   ► who of the joco crews will be a where

00:30:22 ◼   ► Jonathan has become a colonel sanders

00:30:24 ◼   ► where he's he's just good he's gone into

00:30:30 ◼   ► the illustration of himself

00:30:32 ◼   ► I get it he's just a hologram he can't

00:30:35 ◼   ► you know you can't wait but you could

00:30:36 ◼   ► hire any a competent professional actor

00:30:39 ◼   ► singer to have to be Jonathan could just

00:30:40 ◼   ► be a guy comes around and seems pretty

00:30:42 ◼   ► nervous you're not sure why yet do you

00:30:44 ◼   ► remember in the late seventies early

00:30:46 ◼   ► eighties when Ronald McDonald suddenly

00:30:49 ◼   ► was a woman or look like a woman I've

00:30:51 ◼   ► seen the hot japanese version a hot

00:30:54 ◼   ► female japanese version of ronald

00:30:56 ◼   ► mcdonald I don't remember is it like is

00:30:58 ◼   ► it like mr. noodle where suddenly was

00:31:00 ◼   ► christened channel with our I'm not sure

00:31:03 ◼   ► I get that reference value and

00:31:04 ◼   ► assessment street huh well of course I

00:31:07 ◼   ► did Sesame Street was mr. noodle off the

00:31:09 ◼   ► love of Christ this little late period

00:31:11 ◼   ► inside its insight i mean with your

00:31:12 ◼   ► child John inside of Elmo's World all

00:31:15 ◼   ► segments where I think that was

00:31:16 ◼   ► initially that nice guy from even shady

00:31:19 ◼   ► past few years ago and then it was Bob

00:31:21 ◼   ► Miller one I forget who came first

00:31:22 ◼   ► builder when the wonderful talented you

00:31:23 ◼   ► know actor and mine guy and then some

00:31:26 ◼   ► point they brought in a minute miss

00:31:28 ◼   ► noodle arm is noodle which is a

00:31:30 ◼   ► Christian channel with the the wonderful

00:31:32 ◼   ► actress and singer mr. noodle mr. noodle

00:31:34 ◼   ► his problem he's having problems you

00:31:36 ◼   ► never you never saw mr. noodle you are

00:31:38 ◼   ► shooting can word confetti out of a

00:31:39 ◼   ► cannon at me right now I have no idea

00:31:42 ◼   ► what any of those words mean I'd

00:31:44 ◼   ► recognize them as English birds really

00:31:47 ◼   ► up from before my daughter was born I

00:31:50 ◼   ► had one exposure to Elmo mhm and I was

00:31:53 ◼   ► like no no no

00:31:55 ◼   ► well he's pretty cute well but this is

00:31:57 ◼   ► about that i'm basing all this on one

00:31:59 ◼   ► exposure right little kids are really ok

00:32:02 ◼   ► alright because i have memories a minute

00:32:04 ◼   ► we were not a giant Elmo house

00:32:06 ◼   ► okay you kids story you've seen on the

00:32:10 ◼   ► show right

00:32:11 ◼   ► I know what an elmo and he basically at

00:32:13 ◼   ► the end he sings us and he sings a song

00:32:15 ◼   ► about whatever the topic was and he

00:32:17 ◼   ► always thinks it to the tune of jingle

00:32:18 ◼   ► bells

00:32:19 ◼   ► so you guys jacket jacket jacket jacket

00:32:21 ◼   ► jacket jacket or like you know whatever

00:32:23 ◼   ► she wants shoebox shoebox whatever is he

00:32:25 ◼   ► sings this little song i do not find

00:32:27 ◼   ► this cute i'm gonna keep are you know

00:32:29 ◼   ► what nevermind you don't get out go

00:32:30 ◼   ► ahead

00:32:31 ◼   ► ok you know a before my dad's family has

00:32:35 ◼   ► a little free penis

00:32:36 ◼   ► no not that I've seen I haven't seen

00:32:37 ◼   ► that episode that might be one of the

00:32:38 ◼   ► Lost episodes

00:32:40 ◼   ► never mind that you don't deserve this

00:32:41 ◼   ► sweet story but because we've seen so

00:32:43 ◼   ► many Elmo's and we always sing the

00:32:45 ◼   ► jingle bells song with my daughter I saw

00:32:47 ◼   ► something red she would point to it and

00:32:49 ◼   ► say haha

00:32:50 ◼   ► and that's how my daughter said read

00:32:51 ◼   ► what she said haha tdawg models it was

00:32:54 ◼   ► really cute

00:32:55 ◼   ► also another key point to describe

00:32:57 ◼   ► something as little she got a cute is

00:33:01 ◼   ► that that it's cute we're big was ok

00:33:04 ◼   ► what's big oh sure that any kids are

00:33:10 ◼   ► awesome huh

00:33:11 ◼   ► so mr. noodle 10 i have kept Elmo as I

00:33:17 ◼   ► have kept Dora told me you always

00:33:20 ◼   ► correct you chose correctly there my

00:33:22 ◼   ► friend

00:33:23 ◼   ► yeah well but at but Elmo to like I love

00:33:25 ◼   ► elmo and Dora together into a category

00:33:28 ◼   ► of thing that I never let pass the

00:33:32 ◼   ► threshold and so I have no I have no

00:33:35 ◼   ► idea what mr. noodle is oh I do not know

00:33:37 ◼   ► the name of Nora's little monkey friend

00:33:39 ◼   ► there Dora or whatever and though their

00:33:42 ◼   ► little whiny voices and they're

00:33:44 ◼   ► massively pedantic version of what a of

00:33:48 ◼   ► like how to communicate with kids it's

00:33:50 ◼   ► excruciating i do not have it in and now

00:33:52 ◼   ► you know that I came downstairs this

00:33:54 ◼   ► morning

00:33:55 ◼   ► oh my God we're turning into a fucking

00:33:56 ◼   ► dad podcast now our dad our dad jokes

00:34:00 ◼   ► have been getting worse and worse at

00:34:02 ◼   ► least mine have but now we're talking

00:34:04 ◼   ► about our kids at that late but I came

00:34:07 ◼   ► downstairs this morning and she was

00:34:09 ◼   ► sitting at the table all by herself

00:34:11 ◼   ► reading aloud from her dick and jane

00:34:12 ◼   ► book all and I i bought the dick and

00:34:15 ◼   ► jane book and said listen to it because

00:34:17 ◼   ► there's all these like how to teach your

00:34:19 ◼   ► kids to read app or whatever you know

00:34:22 ◼   ► and I said I learned to read with Dick

00:34:24 ◼   ► and

00:34:24 ◼   ► name as my mother and father before me

00:34:27 ◼   ► and she will learn to read from Dick and

00:34:29 ◼   ► Jane that's nice can monitor dick dick

00:34:31 ◼   ► sees spot spot runs go spot go o.o spot

00:34:38 ◼   ► spot that's amazing you have read it you

00:34:42 ◼   ► years and you still remember so much as

00:34:44 ◼   ► a no go as well set up any a setup for

00:34:47 ◼   ► the story because i heard this morning I

00:34:48 ◼   ► came downstairs and she's sitting there

00:34:50 ◼   ► all by herself at the table reading

00:34:51 ◼   ► aloud from chicken chain and I was like

00:34:54 ◼   ► there it is there it is all in a

00:34:56 ◼   ► nutshell she'll be fine now she doesn't

00:34:58 ◼   ► need anything else

00:34:59 ◼   ► uh-huh she's been we've sent around the

00:35:00 ◼   ► right path or even told what to read

00:35:02 ◼   ► she's already erased from ready go now

00:35:04 ◼   ► Dick and Jane is not a nice feeling

00:35:06 ◼   ► though that's what I mean the whole

00:35:07 ◼   ► reading thing is a nice feeling

00:35:08 ◼   ► it's very nice but but so she recognizes

00:35:11 ◼   ► what a dora is she knows what an elmo is

00:35:13 ◼   ► too she has seen them

00:35:15 ◼   ► she's seen them in the wild right you're

00:35:17 ◼   ► walking through a you're walking through

00:35:18 ◼   ► a target because a target boy daddy

00:35:21 ◼   ► needs a spatula who and she goes what

00:35:24 ◼   ► you don't get your spatula is a target

00:35:25 ◼   ► you said from like that's not where you

00:35:26 ◼   ► get spatulas no no I would love to talk

00:35:30 ◼   ► about target we I love going to target I

00:35:33 ◼   ► you call it charger no I don't call that

00:35:36 ◼   ► are Jason's making any to I was that was

00:35:39 ◼   ► funny for like an hour

00:35:40 ◼   ► it's like your friends mom who always

00:35:41 ◼   ► says thank you like stop doing that

00:35:44 ◼   ► that's not funny anymore whose friends

00:35:45 ◼   ► mom says thank you thank you

00:35:47 ◼   ► what does that mean oh it's it's a lying

00:35:49 ◼   ► or somebody says oh i don't know i don't

00:35:52 ◼   ► really like Kim Kardashian that much and

00:35:54 ◼   ► she goes

00:35:54 ◼   ► thank you OIC a confirmative thank you

00:35:59 ◼   ► right well I think we've talked about

00:36:02 ◼   ► this before but that do you remember in

00:36:05 ◼   ► the in the mid eighties when all of a

00:36:06 ◼   ► sudden everybody was saying yeah it is

00:36:08 ◼   ► oh yeah we discuss this i have I still

00:36:11 ◼   ► have a lot of these tix I haven't gotten

00:36:13 ◼   ► rid of and I don't want to delve into it

00:36:15 ◼   ► too far because i still have a lot of

00:36:17 ◼   ► terrible ticks that I'm not proud of you

00:36:20 ◼   ► mhm mhm like the sniffing like always

00:36:24 ◼   ► slipping not always sniffing you're

00:36:26 ◼   ► always sniffing your coffee snapping

00:36:28 ◼   ► you've done a hundred and ninety

00:36:29 ◼   ► episodes of the show and you still don't

00:36:30 ◼   ► clear your throat before you pick up the

00:36:32 ◼   ► phone

00:36:33 ◼   ► uh-huh what would that what would that

00:36:35 ◼   ► even entail you don't you're talking

00:36:36 ◼   ► about like before you pick up

00:36:38 ◼   ► I don't know and honestly don't want to

00:36:39 ◼   ► think about it too much I don't know

00:36:41 ◼   ► what it would entail

00:36:41 ◼   ► I love target i love and especially with

00:36:43 ◼   ► the other day we got so much good stuff

00:36:45 ◼   ► I can't tell you how much great stuff we

00:36:46 ◼   ► got a target have you noticed that

00:36:47 ◼   ► target that all the boy clothes and the

00:36:49 ◼   ► girl closer lately sequestered from one

00:36:52 ◼   ► another you do not want to fucking get

00:36:54 ◼   ► me started on this the boy clothes all

00:36:55 ◼   ► of cool cars and and rocket ships and

00:36:58 ◼   ► skulls and crossbones and the girl

00:37:00 ◼   ► closer just like oh no no we walk we

00:37:02 ◼   ► walk right past there's no point and

00:37:04 ◼   ► here's the other thing like I want to

00:37:05 ◼   ► get actually I was gonna get my kid and

00:37:07 ◼   ► we so my kid leaves things on the

00:37:09 ◼   ► playground she forgets her jackets she

00:37:11 ◼   ► forgot jacket jacket jacket you forget

00:37:12 ◼   ► your jacket she forgets her water

00:37:13 ◼   ► bottles were constantly retweet you know

00:37:15 ◼   ► we're working on this right she's great

00:37:16 ◼   ► otherwise but so I'm getting more like

00:37:18 ◼   ► cheap jackets you know there are like

00:37:20 ◼   ► strategy

00:37:21 ◼   ► yeah i mean not cheap i mean but you

00:37:22 ◼   ► know inexpensive because I figure you

00:37:24 ◼   ► know i'm looking for an heirloom jacket

00:37:26 ◼   ► and you can you walk into the girls

00:37:28 ◼   ► section is like everything's pink la you

00:37:31 ◼   ► longer it's all shit it's all you know

00:37:33 ◼   ► they have cool belt they have cool belts

00:37:35 ◼   ► that are fun if there's some cool

00:37:37 ◼   ► underwear but then if you want anything

00:37:40 ◼   ► decent you have to go to the boys area

00:37:41 ◼   ► because they just assume that every girl

00:37:43 ◼   ► is gonna dress like somebody falls down

00:37:45 ◼   ► a well and wait to be rescued

00:37:46 ◼   ► haha so goddamn annoying and it doesn't

00:37:49 ◼   ► go to amazon i say okay I want to get

00:37:50 ◼   ► her a new hoodie only together minecraft

00:37:52 ◼   ► Cudi I want to get her a hoodie from the

00:37:54 ◼   ► cat game i wanna get our machine hoodie

00:37:55 ◼   ► I go and I do a search you don't you see

00:37:57 ◼   ► under clothes you see men's clothes you

00:37:59 ◼   ► see women's clothes and you see boys

00:38:01 ◼   ► clothes unless you search for something

00:38:02 ◼   ► really insipid and fucking pink and then

00:38:06 ◼   ► you get TT he down here there's girls

00:38:08 ◼   ► clouds got a ruffle and it's part of all

00:38:11 ◼   ► people poop

00:38:12 ◼   ► hehe my kids that dress i mean when she

00:38:15 ◼   ► dresses like the other day like to go to

00:38:16 ◼   ► target she wears like horizontal striped

00:38:19 ◼   ► leggings with a foot if really

00:38:22 ◼   ► ridiculously Felix loofah skirt and a

00:38:24 ◼   ► captain america shirt and a headband

00:38:26 ◼   ► with yours

00:38:27 ◼   ► that's how my daughter dresses she rose

00:38:28 ◼   ► whatever the fuck she feels like and

00:38:30 ◼   ► it's unerringly hilarious but she rarely

00:38:33 ◼   ► does is go I want to look like somebody

00:38:35 ◼   ► from frozen

00:38:36 ◼   ► it's just it's so i'm not against frozen

00:38:39 ◼   ► it's just that I'm so tired of that

00:38:40 ◼   ► anyway sorry Donald dad of a daughter's

00:38:43 ◼   ► name that it you won't appreciate until

00:38:44 ◼   ► you're there let alone let alone go to

00:38:47 ◼   ► target to try to find a ray character

00:38:48 ◼   ► but you cannot buy a whole big package

00:38:50 ◼   ► Star Wars boys you can get three

00:38:52 ◼   ► from fucking stormtroopers there's no

00:38:53 ◼   ► ray well that that seems like that seem

00:38:57 ◼   ► like a truly a cultural moment I was

00:38:59 ◼   ► like oh we didn't want we didn't want to

00:39:01 ◼   ► put rate characters out there cuz we

00:39:03 ◼   ► don't want to spoil the surprise well

00:39:04 ◼   ► the movie that the one the star of the

00:39:06 ◼   ► movie is in the set now there's honestly

00:39:08 ◼   ► a hilarious set of force awakens

00:39:10 ◼   ► probably 12 inch size characters and

00:39:13 ◼   ► it's got Finn it's got po it's got a

00:39:16 ◼   ► console is on it's got a stormtrooper

00:39:20 ◼   ► and it's got another storm trooper right

00:39:23 ◼   ► oh yeah but there's no running there you

00:39:25 ◼   ► know i have had an interesting insights

00:39:27 ◼   ► to anonymous stormtroopers in delray

00:39:28 ◼   ► leaving that aside which is which is

00:39:32 ◼   ► incredible array is one of my favorite

00:39:34 ◼   ► characters a contemporary cinema and I

00:39:37 ◼   ► you know we're physically she perfectly

00:39:39 ◼   ► embodies what that movie needed to be

00:39:40 ◼   ► and it would not have been the same

00:39:42 ◼   ► without her

00:39:43 ◼   ► yep yeah she's the fan on the screen and

00:39:45 ◼   ► it was perfect but i had had an

00:39:47 ◼   ► interesting insight you know into the

00:39:49 ◼   ► film you know III I hesitated to

00:39:53 ◼   ► criticize the star wars movie at all

00:39:54 ◼   ► because you know as much as I like it's

00:39:57 ◼   ► like good reasons to not do that

00:40:00 ◼   ► yeah as much as I like getting letters I

00:40:02 ◼   ► i did not want to get any letters about

00:40:04 ◼   ► this but i but I was this this was one

00:40:06 ◼   ► of those things as i was walking I was

00:40:08 ◼   ► walking along and all of a sudden like

00:40:10 ◼   ► an acorn fell on my head and I said wait

00:40:13 ◼   ► a minute why didn't they do it that way

00:40:18 ◼   ► you know that feeling

00:40:19 ◼   ► who when you're like we have sure why

00:40:22 ◼   ► didn't they do it that way i feel that

00:40:23 ◼   ► way about lots of things what was in

00:40:24 ◼   ► this case in this case the hand solo son

00:40:28 ◼   ► yeah right yeah not a fan whose name is

00:40:32 ◼   ► a paco rabanne or whatever Allah Alonso

00:40:39 ◼   ► it's funnier if I don't laugh but that's

00:40:41 ◼   ► the perfect alonzo morningstar which is

00:40:44 ◼   ► your name his name is a rilo kiley yeah

00:40:47 ◼   ► friedrich von solution straße it um his

00:40:51 ◼   ► first appearance in the film is in his

00:40:54 ◼   ► guys right is his guys it's terrible

00:40:57 ◼   ► error terrible Darth warmth or yes or be

00:41:01 ◼   ► worse mark or whatever and you see him

00:41:04 ◼   ► and he appears and you're like okay

00:41:05 ◼   ► is the new bad guy who and then as the

00:41:08 ◼   ► as the film progresses you see that he

00:41:11 ◼   ► is not really in his full he's not fully

00:41:16 ◼   ► in his in his he's not and he's not as

00:41:19 ◼   ► full pokeyman yet

00:41:21 ◼   ► yeah right like when when Darth Vader

00:41:23 ◼   ► and the generals the high-ranking

00:41:26 ◼   ► soldiers have encounters you see that

00:41:28 ◼   ► they are terrified of him who but when

00:41:30 ◼   ► they have no even though we were so

00:41:31 ◼   ► effective in this movie's you understand

00:41:33 ◼   ► that Darth Vader has a boss but still

00:41:35 ◼   ► Darth Vader that everybody scared of

00:41:36 ◼   ► everybody scared of Darth and you're not

00:41:38 ◼   ► sure what his rank is right he's kinda

00:41:41 ◼   ► feels like not a row but not but he's

00:41:43 ◼   ► he's almost like a consultant like he's

00:41:45 ◼   ► been brought in to make sure you rebuild

00:41:47 ◼   ► this fucking death star and this is this

00:41:49 ◼   ► needs to happen

00:41:49 ◼   ► yeah right i mean it and I do not alter

00:41:52 ◼   ► it further in in the way in a way that

00:41:55 ◼   ► he is like he is he's a mini Emperor

00:41:58 ◼   ► right but in the new Star Wars movie The

00:42:01 ◼   ► the paco rabanne character does not have

00:42:05 ◼   ► very much authority right the general is

00:42:07 ◼   ► openly contemptuous of him and he

00:42:10 ◼   ► doesn't really have a very good report

00:42:11 ◼   ► but he's in this like amazing gas mask

00:42:14 ◼   ► costume

00:42:16 ◼   ► yeah I like this place so that was cool

00:42:17 ◼   ► but then as the as the film unfolds the

00:42:21 ◼   ► mask comes off and you see that he's

00:42:23 ◼   ► just sort of a callow male model

00:42:25 ◼   ► uh-huh it's not I mean it was very clear

00:42:28 ◼   ► why Darth Vader wore the mask because he

00:42:30 ◼   ► was hideous least disfigure yeah

00:42:32 ◼   ► anything before you learned all the you

00:42:34 ◼   ► know reckon details of it like you could

00:42:36 ◼   ► tell that he was he was he was messed up

00:42:38 ◼   ► in a number of ways

00:42:39 ◼   ► yeah imagine he needed that to live

00:42:41 ◼   ► probably the mask was breathing for him

00:42:43 ◼   ► and the stormtroopers wore masks because

00:42:44 ◼   ► it wasn't clear whether or not they were

00:42:46 ◼   ► robots at first right totally right for

00:42:49 ◼   ► the longest time we thought they were

00:42:51 ◼   ► robots and then it turned out they were

00:42:52 ◼   ► clones

00:42:53 ◼   ► I mean they were there they were

00:42:54 ◼   ► basically they were they were like nazis

00:42:56 ◼   ► in world war two movie

00:42:57 ◼   ► yeah just like generic people to be shot

00:42:59 ◼   ► but as the film unfolds then the the the

00:43:04 ◼   ► paco rabanne character uses his mask

00:43:07 ◼   ► less and less until he just seems like a

00:43:10 ◼   ► teenager running around very petulant

00:43:13 ◼   ► he's always wearing a bandana

00:43:15 ◼   ► it's like he just wears when he feels

00:43:17 ◼   ► like it and and it's not

00:43:19 ◼   ► explain what the purpose of it is except

00:43:21 ◼   ► that it's just an affectation it's just

00:43:23 ◼   ► like it's just like a have accepted

00:43:24 ◼   ► covers his face

00:43:26 ◼   ► why didn't they start the movie with him

00:43:30 ◼   ► without his mask and that's why nobody

00:43:34 ◼   ► respects him yet he's walking around in

00:43:36 ◼   ► a cape he's obviously a Jedi but he's it

00:43:39 ◼   ► using any single teacher at the very

00:43:41 ◼   ► least four cents and if we don't meet me

00:43:43 ◼   ► tonight Jennifer sorry I'm sorry I'm

00:43:44 ◼   ► sorry I'm sorry I can't believe

00:43:45 ◼   ► registered I'm so sorry

00:43:46 ◼   ► it's no it's quite all right cutting

00:43:47 ◼   ► that out on my own but there's actually

00:43:49 ◼   ► you about Star Wars there's a there's a

00:43:52 ◼   ► reason that he's there and that's

00:43:53 ◼   ► because he has horsepower who write and

00:43:56 ◼   ► but the generals are contemptuous of him

00:43:58 ◼   ► because he can't quite lift them off the

00:44:00 ◼   ► ground and make them choke yet right so

00:44:03 ◼   ► so he's it's some kind of thing where he

00:44:06 ◼   ► is being groomed by the new emperor

00:44:09 ◼   ► right but he's still a kind of a callow

00:44:11 ◼   ► teenager and that's why nobody takes him

00:44:13 ◼   ► seriously and then over the course of

00:44:15 ◼   ► the film we in he inherits the helmet

00:44:20 ◼   ► because something I get it right

00:44:22 ◼   ► why why do it the the reverse way where

00:44:24 ◼   ► we're set up to think like all this guy

00:44:26 ◼   ► looks mean he's gonna be mean and then

00:44:28 ◼   ► over the course the time were already

00:44:30 ◼   ► trying to were already trying to buy the

00:44:33 ◼   ► end of the first film we're already in

00:44:36 ◼   ► this in this mode of like is he going to

00:44:39 ◼   ► be as he savable is he going to be

00:44:41 ◼   ► rescuing ball we didn't even set him up

00:44:43 ◼   ► as like as like a guy who's bitterness

00:44:47 ◼   ► turns him to the dark side increasingly

00:44:50 ◼   ► who we already its he's already like oh

00:44:54 ◼   ► he doesn't know whether it's bad or not

00:44:56 ◼   ► I just feel like come on

00:44:58 ◼   ► well I said something a lot of people

00:45:00 ◼   ► have said about a lot of things related

00:45:02 ◼   ► to star wars that i happen to agree with

00:45:04 ◼   ► and we'll make the short because I just

00:45:05 ◼   ► I can't handle the email but one of the

00:45:08 ◼   ► great things about science something

00:45:10 ◼   ► Syracuse and I talked about in terms of

00:45:11 ◼   ► like why is how it's like fury fury road

00:45:13 ◼   ► in some ways the first Star Wars very

00:45:15 ◼   ► little is done to explain what

00:45:18 ◼   ► everything means through is so much just

00:45:21 ◼   ► pure action and exposition just based on

00:45:23 ◼   ► what you're looking at right now that

00:45:25 ◼   ► the exposition is that like there's

00:45:26 ◼   ► these robots sorry that's just always

00:45:28 ◼   ► that's all we have time to explain why

00:45:29 ◼   ► there's so much story to get through

00:45:30 ◼   ► here right

00:45:31 ◼   ► right then like you know and you know

00:45:32 ◼   ► there's all kinds of things that people

00:45:33 ◼   ► spent years wondering about and so forth

00:45:35 ◼   ► but like what you're describing here we

00:45:37 ◼   ► didn't understand what Darth Vader was

00:45:41 ◼   ► or how he was and we certainly don't

00:45:43 ◼   ► understand what the force was other than

00:45:44 ◼   ► there was a lot of hand waving about it

00:45:46 ◼   ► some kind of cosmic force but we didn't

00:45:47 ◼   ► know how powerful Darth Vader could be

00:45:49 ◼   ► because we need how he can you know what

00:45:52 ◼   ► his weaknesses work for that matter all

00:45:53 ◼   ► we saw was that like oh my god you do

00:45:55 ◼   ► not want to tangle with this guy is

00:45:56 ◼   ► obviously a very scary i mean you can

00:45:58 ◼   ► choke you

00:45:58 ◼   ► you know right right but like you know

00:46:00 ◼   ► the less we knew the more interesting he

00:46:02 ◼   ► was one maybe don't I mean do you

00:46:05 ◼   ► remember feeling like Darth Vader might

00:46:06 ◼   ► have been a robot a magic robot

00:46:08 ◼   ► absolutely very special on the first

00:46:10 ◼   ► viewing like it seemed it

00:46:11 ◼   ► yeah I always assumed the stormtroopers

00:46:14 ◼   ► just because of their movements were

00:46:15 ◼   ► whatever the galaxy far away version of

00:46:18 ◼   ► human was oh you knew that there were

00:46:20 ◼   ► humans inside the Stormtrooper right

00:46:22 ◼   ► well they didn't move like robots if

00:46:24 ◼   ► they want to Telegraph that the robots

00:46:25 ◼   ► it seems they would have handled that

00:46:26 ◼   ► differently so Cylons were post first

00:46:30 ◼   ► Star Wars yes because Cylons were

00:46:33 ◼   ► clearly robot sounds were clearly let's

00:46:36 ◼   ► say a ripoff of Stormtroopers but that

00:46:38 ◼   ► who were definitely robots

00:46:40 ◼   ► yeah right and i think i think that i

00:46:42 ◼   ► was i was coming at it from more of a

00:46:44 ◼   ► like storm troopers were proto Cylons I

00:46:49 ◼   ► see because because again what do they

00:46:53 ◼   ► need to ask for masks are uncomfortable

00:46:56 ◼   ► yeah oh and and it's never it's never

00:46:58 ◼   ► specified like to the masks let them see

00:47:01 ◼   ► a terminator style are the are the

00:47:05 ◼   ► eyepieces giving them additional

00:47:06 ◼   ► information we know we didn't know it

00:47:09 ◼   ► doesn't let them breathe on foreign

00:47:12 ◼   ► planets where there is an oxygen no

00:47:15 ◼   ► don't no idea no idea i love target what

00:47:19 ◼   ► we end up getting we got a lot of good

00:47:20 ◼   ► stuff we've got some great clothes we

00:47:22 ◼   ► did something we don't usually do which

00:47:23 ◼   ► we got her got some branded franchise

00:47:26 ◼   ► clothing for a property that's not even

00:47:28 ◼   ► out yet but I'm all I can already tell

00:47:30 ◼   ► we're going to like it so because you

00:47:31 ◼   ► want to know you want to know what just

00:47:32 ◼   ► happened to me

00:47:33 ◼   ► no one well I was walking across the

00:47:35 ◼   ► room and I accidentally unplugged my

00:47:37 ◼   ► headphones

00:47:38 ◼   ► ok and when I came back you had

00:47:40 ◼   ► completely changed the topic code area

00:47:44 ◼   ► all fast that almost never happens like

00:47:46 ◼   ► that and I didn't hear the transition

00:47:48 ◼   ► right so I was like coming back in plug

00:47:50 ◼   ► in my headphones back it's alright says

00:47:52 ◼   ► utopia

00:47:53 ◼   ► yeah and you were just like anyway just

00:47:55 ◼   ► as as if we had been talking about your

00:47:57 ◼   ► daughter's clothes the entire time i

00:47:58 ◼   ► love target we all kinds of stuff there

00:48:00 ◼   ► we can get a spatula got a lot of good

00:48:02 ◼   ► stuff what do we get what we can get

00:48:04 ◼   ► some clothes for her

00:48:06 ◼   ► we got all we got a little letter areum

00:48:08 ◼   ► don't you know it's nice to get a target

00:48:10 ◼   ► what time do you have a sensitive skin

00:48:12 ◼   ► uh I mean it's you know if it doesn't

00:48:14 ◼   ► get his feelings hurt like anybody right

00:48:16 ◼   ► but I mean your attention but you're

00:48:18 ◼   ► essentially a northern European I i know

00:48:22 ◼   ► i don't want to say too much here but I

00:48:23 ◼   ► i know that you you have to suffer in

00:48:26 ◼   ► silence i know for example that your

00:48:27 ◼   ► head sometimes is allergic to itself my

00:48:29 ◼   ► head and face are both allergic to

00:48:31 ◼   ► themselves

00:48:32 ◼   ► okay and I cannot abide any kind of real

00:48:36 ◼   ► perfume and I cannot use normal soap if

00:48:43 ◼   ► I wash my clothes in typical normal

00:48:46 ◼   ► laundry detergent i will get an enormous

00:48:49 ◼   ► ba complete body heat rash that

00:48:54 ◼   ► sometimes swells my skin up so that it

00:48:57 ◼   ► is like an inch puffier than it normally

00:49:00 ◼   ► is which is that's miserable it is awful

00:49:04 ◼   ► it's terrible if somebody else washes my

00:49:06 ◼   ► clothes I basically have to wash them

00:49:08 ◼   ► again because if I put them on I will

00:49:12 ◼   ► get them in everywhere the close touch

00:49:14 ◼   ► my skin i will get this awful heat rash

00:49:17 ◼   ► that that is like swollen and burns and

00:49:21 ◼   ► doesn't go away i have to lay naked on a

00:49:24 ◼   ► on a cool sheet and fan myself for the

00:49:28 ◼   ► magazine and it is any picture kind of

00:49:31 ◼   ► magazine has to be like well like it

00:49:33 ◼   ► well now I don't get well anymore

00:49:36 ◼   ► I I felt burned bite well yeah but i got

00:49:39 ◼   ► it for a while and I was like twelve

00:49:41 ◼   ► this is this going to be consistent with

00:49:42 ◼   ► horizontal slats are going to get big

00:49:44 ◼   ► greasy yeah i'm going to live in a

00:49:45 ◼   ► shipping container hooray for me and

00:49:48 ◼   ► then after children play into the stairs

00:49:50 ◼   ► boob after a while I realized that it

00:49:52 ◼   ► was they were just taking pictures of

00:49:54 ◼   ► the same house from different angles it

00:49:56 ◼   ► see it took me two years to figure that

00:49:57 ◼   ► out you know I was a male cyclist door

00:49:59 ◼   ► looks familiar that's a really nice deck

00:50:01 ◼   ► wait a minute wait a minute why is that

00:50:03 ◼   ► child has the same toys what this house

00:50:06 ◼   ► as a garage with the same three toys

00:50:08 ◼   ► every child in snow

00:50:10 ◼   ► thank you there was absolutely no

00:50:12 ◼   ► aesthetic variation and after like five

00:50:14 ◼   ► is where Connor keeps his ball and this

00:50:18 ◼   ► is kind of a little milk a reading nook

00:50:20 ◼   ► a reading nook that shaped like the

00:50:22 ◼   ► inside of a parachute not in any era are

00:50:26 ◼   ► are crying the day and no over here we

00:50:29 ◼   ► have our our mud palace and then those

00:50:32 ◼   ► are real things that she's a documentary

00:50:34 ◼   ► filmmaker and she's kind of videographer

00:50:37 ◼   ► used to make apps now he's working on

00:50:39 ◼   ► something you can't talk about you can't

00:50:40 ◼   ► talk about it and tyler loves his little

00:50:42 ◼   ► ball but here's what I get at target

00:50:44 ◼   ► which is sheer free sheer free cheer is

00:50:49 ◼   ► a laundry and sheer free cheer free has

00:50:52 ◼   ► no no chemicals it has no stopping it

00:50:55 ◼   ► has chemical don't know

00:50:56 ◼   ► yeah I think you're free is just I think

00:50:59 ◼   ► so i think a couple of guys go over a

00:51:02 ◼   ► barbed-wire fence to the dumpster

00:51:04 ◼   ► outside of a little suction facility

00:51:06 ◼   ► nice and they get some bags of human fat

00:51:09 ◼   ► and then they render it with lie and

00:51:11 ◼   ► that is what cheer free is so it doesn't

00:51:14 ◼   ► your clothes don't smell like any kind

00:51:15 ◼   ► of perfume and your free get some skin

00:51:17 ◼   ► in the game

00:51:18 ◼   ► yeah it well yeah it doesn't make my it

00:51:20 ◼   ► doesn't make my body attack itself

00:51:22 ◼   ► interesting and introduces like anything

00:51:24 ◼   ► kind of would call an antibody i don't

00:51:27 ◼   ► know i think it might be homeopathy John

00:51:29 ◼   ► you might be doing homeopathy i might be

00:51:31 ◼   ► might take a little bit of human skin to

00:51:33 ◼   ► make your skin not be bothered

00:51:34 ◼   ► interesting but it's at such a micro

00:51:37 ◼   ► dose that it literally can't do anything

00:51:38 ◼   ► useful

00:51:39 ◼   ► maybe it's micro dosing me with LSD and

00:51:41 ◼   ► I'm just don't realize that my skin is

00:51:42 ◼   ► so maybe you're in your maybe your

00:51:44 ◼   ► friend Dick Cheney's bunker I wow I

00:51:49 ◼   ► friends just sparkling to be one

00:51:52 ◼   ► no no ever since we mentioned that the

00:51:55 ◼   ► last time I asked loss again Fred I've

00:51:58 ◼   ► had more Fred Durst mentions in my

00:52:00 ◼   ► mentions then I ever wanted and I don't

00:52:03 ◼   ► want to think about him I do not want to

00:52:05 ◼   ► think about him but so I never know

00:52:08 ◼   ► what's going to endure when we say it

00:52:11 ◼   ► it's we might say that we may see

00:52:12 ◼   ► something wrong like something that's

00:52:13 ◼   ► not even correct we might say something

00:52:14 ◼   ► I ironically like as a joke and that

00:52:18 ◼   ► because what people remember it's a lot

00:52:19 ◼   ► of responsibility it is a lot of

00:52:21 ◼   ► responsibility to have such well to be

00:52:23 ◼   ► fucking head phony award-winning podcast

00:52:25 ◼   ► that's true so this keeps you so you eat

00:52:27 ◼   ► you had a good experience with this and

00:52:29 ◼   ► you can buy a big bottle of it at target

00:52:31 ◼   ► and getting to target

00:52:32 ◼   ► okay yeah I i went to the dermatologist

00:52:33 ◼   ► right I've told you this story and the

00:52:35 ◼   ► dermatologist said I don't know what

00:52:37 ◼   ► your problem is you're allergic to

00:52:38 ◼   ► yourself and I said that's a terrible

00:52:40 ◼   ► thing to say to somebody that they're

00:52:41 ◼   ► allergic to themselves and he said she's

00:52:43 ◼   ► right before you sent someone to the

00:52:44 ◼   ► fucking Mayo Clinic you don't just trust

00:52:46 ◼   ► somebody other office with stuff like

00:52:47 ◼   ► that yeah I don't want to be a boy in

00:52:49 ◼   ► the bubble and he was like now you're

00:52:50 ◼   ► just allergic to your ears skin oil i

00:52:53 ◼   ► was like a skin oil he was like yeah you

00:52:56 ◼   ► can't you know you have to just you

00:52:59 ◼   ► can't just let it sit on your skin

00:53:01 ◼   ► because it will just your body your body

00:53:03 ◼   ► will go after it

00:53:05 ◼   ► ah exchanged our story checks out come

00:53:09 ◼   ► on give me something you know me

00:53:11 ◼   ► something to write on man put your tap

00:53:14 ◼   ► tap tap tap it a little so yeah so I go

00:53:19 ◼   ► to target for that and that's great and

00:53:22 ◼   ► specialist

00:53:23 ◼   ► yeah what else did we get we were gonna

00:53:25 ◼   ► get bowls i didn't like the bowls

00:53:27 ◼   ► oh don't like their blah there's a lot

00:53:29 ◼   ► of things we didn't buy their but we've

00:53:30 ◼   ► never spent like four hundred dollars

00:53:31 ◼   ► that we got a lot of stuff i go up and

00:53:33 ◼   ► down the aisles you know did you know

00:53:34 ◼   ► this about me that when I go into a

00:53:36 ◼   ► store i have to go up and down every

00:53:37 ◼   ► aisle every time it's not it's not it

00:53:39 ◼   ► doesn't it's not OCD it

00:53:41 ◼   ► no certainly not no no no no you're

00:53:44 ◼   ► organized you got it you got away you

00:53:46 ◼   ► like to do things i want to walk down

00:53:47 ◼   ► every aisle and see what's there

00:53:49 ◼   ► how are you how are you going to how we

00:53:51 ◼   ► gonna live with yourself if you go out

00:53:53 ◼   ► of the store you didn't walk down the

00:53:54 ◼   ► one I'll that had something who write so

00:53:57 ◼   ► when I go to costco whatever I go to

00:53:59 ◼   ► costco what's with the anyone who knows

00:54:01 ◼   ► me there like please don't go up and

00:54:02 ◼   ► down every aisle we're just here for the

00:54:04 ◼   ► Trista 75-pound bag of peanut brittle

00:54:07 ◼   ► especially accounting for how tall their

00:54:09 ◼   ► shelves are it's one thing to just look

00:54:11 ◼   ► at eye level but if you look at

00:54:12 ◼   ► everything on the shelves at costco and

00:54:13 ◼   ► account for the people who get the free

00:54:15 ◼   ► samples

00:54:15 ◼   ► that's gonna be a long day my friend

00:54:17 ◼   ► what is it's always a long day you go in

00:54:18 ◼   ► there and you're like do I need 47

00:54:20 ◼   ► sharpies

00:54:22 ◼   ► think about it think about it mm no do I

00:54:26 ◼   ► need what how much do we really need in

00:54:28 ◼   ► life

00:54:29 ◼   ► well it's true but every every once in a

00:54:31 ◼   ► while I was what was the last thing I

00:54:32 ◼   ► went in there I thought I needed

00:54:34 ◼   ► ah it was some kind of like always maybe

00:54:40 ◼   ► one of those ladders that folds into a

00:54:41 ◼   ► scaffold that folds into a like an

00:54:44 ◼   ► origami ladder origami a ladder as seen

00:54:46 ◼   ► on TV

00:54:47 ◼   ► yeah and those are neat i was like maybe

00:54:48 ◼   ► i need that or maybe i need one of those

00:54:50 ◼   ► juicers that goes it's 5,000 rpm the

00:54:52 ◼   ► turns a little turn bricks into a juice

00:54:55 ◼   ► but and it ends up i get the same thing

00:54:58 ◼   ► I get you know get spaghetti sauce and I

00:55:01 ◼   ► get peanut brittle and then I'm out of

00:55:02 ◼   ► there but i still have to go down every

00:55:04 ◼   ► aisle don't have to but I mean right

00:55:07 ◼   ► mm it's like you have to if I go in and

00:55:10 ◼   ► somebody's like you are forbidden from

00:55:11 ◼   ► going up and down every aisle I i can I

00:55:15 ◼   ► can hang with that if I'm if I'm

00:55:17 ◼   ► expressly forbidden i can i can go all

00:55:20 ◼   ► right actually seafood and automotive

00:55:23 ◼   ► and drinks and deli

00:55:26 ◼   ► yep garden supplies oh yeah furniture

00:55:30 ◼   ► for sure

00:55:31 ◼   ► uh-huh i'll definitely office supplies

00:55:33 ◼   ► and safe sorry yeah but socks and and

00:55:36 ◼   ► bedding with the middle you got that big

00:55:37 ◼   ► middle part like the middle part you

00:55:39 ◼   ► know Scott has a lot of like for your

00:55:41 ◼   ► staple type clothes they got to get

00:55:44 ◼   ► pretty good socks again pretty good

00:55:45 ◼   ► undershirts all my underwear was from

00:55:47 ◼   ► costco until very recently when I gotta

00:55:49 ◼   ► I gotta start getting underwear from

00:55:52 ◼   ► this fancy place

00:55:53 ◼   ► oh I get it I get internet underwear but

00:55:55 ◼   ► Abbott is also the I heard the workout

00:55:57 ◼   ► clothes I know how you love to work out

00:55:58 ◼   ► there let's get one up close to get they

00:56:00 ◼   ► probably have BMW pants and get there

00:56:02 ◼   ► let me tell you about the underwear I'm

00:56:03 ◼   ► wearing right now

00:56:04 ◼   ► thank you it is lined are not lined it's

00:56:08 ◼   ► knitted with microfibers of silver it so

00:56:14 ◼   ► people can steal your identity

00:56:15 ◼   ► no no silver is anti bacterial or anti

00:56:20 ◼   ► like silver scares all the the what the

00:56:26 ◼   ► living a biome the biome yeah it KITT

00:56:30 ◼   ► scares the biomes and they get out of

00:56:31 ◼   ► your underwear

00:56:32 ◼   ► so the underwear is like a shirt silver

00:56:36 ◼   ► I don't want to imply don't want to say

00:56:38 ◼   ► it's impregnated with silver now that's

00:56:40 ◼   ► that's all thinking but silver is shot

00:56:43 ◼   ► three shot through with silver there you

00:56:45 ◼   ► go shop through with silver so that and

00:56:48 ◼   ► it feels just like normal underwear huh

00:56:50 ◼   ► but it created your little secret it

00:56:53 ◼   ► creates an inhospitable environment for

00:56:55 ◼   ► all the things that might get in your

00:56:59 ◼   ► underwear

00:57:00 ◼   ► I don't get in there ok so this also i

00:57:03 ◼   ► mean let's be honest that you got things

00:57:05 ◼   ► like issues of contagion and older but

00:57:06 ◼   ► also you keep your junk from becoming

00:57:08 ◼   ► allergic to itself but with the silver

00:57:09 ◼   ► I'm up I'm waiting I'm waiting to see if

00:57:12 ◼   ► that's true but it but it feels like an

00:57:14 ◼   ► act it's an extra layer of protection

00:57:15 ◼   ► and emits a little secret like I'm

00:57:18 ◼   ► wearing silver underwear

00:57:19 ◼   ► yeah right and they're very comfortable

00:57:23 ◼   ► i don't and and you know and maybe they

00:57:28 ◼   ► protect my my nether regions from

00:57:31 ◼   ► harmful rays are you worried about that

00:57:34 ◼   ► and I'm worried about that are praised I

00:57:37 ◼   ► I think about that I think about that

00:57:41 ◼   ► yeah i'm very interested what can i say

00:57:45 ◼   ► about this dad starts and start track

00:57:49 ◼   ► are worried about harmful rays get a

00:57:51 ◼   ► full rate all

00:57:54 ◼   ► Oh John dad you get Joe that's awfully

00:57:57 ◼   ► good thing all my goodness thanks I now

00:58:01 ◼   ► everyone will be laugh-in yeah at that

00:58:06 ◼   ► lay a wreath on that joke I solo most I

00:58:15 ◼   ► lead f MA

00:58:20 ◼   ► more like millennial Falcon berg

00:58:23 ◼   ► millennial for work I knew that if I

00:58:25 ◼   ► released the released the a joke Sam you

00:58:28 ◼   ► okay with just come pouring out like a

00:58:31 ◼   ► like a burst water balloon become more

00:58:34 ◼   ► powerful than you can imagine

00:58:36 ◼   ► so you know

00:58:40 ◼   ► I don't know what to say exactly about

00:58:43 ◼   ► this but I'm mm what's happening

00:58:47 ◼   ► well I'm acquainted with someone who's a

00:58:52 ◼   ► had and having problems with things like

00:58:57 ◼   ► worrying about Ray's oh I'm trying to

00:59:00 ◼   ► learn more about it than just haha

00:59:02 ◼   ► chemtrails right and it's it's super

00:59:05 ◼   ► tough and super interesting there are a

00:59:07 ◼   ► lot of raised well but it's also like

00:59:10 ◼   ► I'm trying to fly I can do this that's

00:59:11 ◼   ► enough said about that except to say

00:59:13 ◼   ► that it is very interesting very

00:59:14 ◼   ► complicated i actually I came across an

00:59:16 ◼   ► interesting thing on the reddit or

00:59:19 ◼   ► somebody said you know you think about

00:59:21 ◼   ► what people talk about especially what

00:59:23 ◼   ► has come to but some people have called

00:59:24 ◼   ► paranoid schizophrenia but some kind of

00:59:27 ◼   ► like an effective thing but you know

00:59:28 ◼   ► your things like people saying they

00:59:30 ◼   ► think their voices right they think the

00:59:32 ◼   ► queen is talking to them that they hear

00:59:34 ◼   ► voices on the radio

00:59:35 ◼   ► addressing them there are teams you know

00:59:38 ◼   ► the there are actually people who do

00:59:40 ◼   ► line hats with aluminum foil because

00:59:42 ◼   ► they don't want thoughts and say its

00:59:44 ◼   ► order to remove all these things that

00:59:45 ◼   ► the sad part of this is the jokes that

00:59:47 ◼   ► we make about this is that the horrible

00:59:49 ◼   ► truth is that there are people that like

00:59:51 ◼   ► believe that more than anything they

00:59:52 ◼   ► believe in the entire world right and it

00:59:54 ◼   ► is really interesting but there was i

00:59:56 ◼   ► just i have a piece and i have read the

00:59:57 ◼   ► whole thing yet but somebody's asking

00:59:59 ◼   ► basically

00:59:59 ◼   ► basically

01:00:00 ◼   ► with what we now call schizophrenia with

01:00:02 ◼   ► those particular symptoms

01:00:04 ◼   ► what did people imagined before the age

01:00:07 ◼   ► of electricity like you're saying

01:00:10 ◼   ► there's so much thought now about like

01:00:11 ◼   ► there are raised that are doing this

01:00:12 ◼   ► there are ways of making you sexy see

01:00:15 ◼   ► certain images insert and remove

01:00:16 ◼   ► thoughts like the all lot of those in rh

01:00:19 ◼   ► come down to electricity

01:00:20 ◼   ► you know what I mean yeah like what

01:00:21 ◼   ► people uh if you like hallucinate before

01:00:25 ◼   ► we had electricity

01:00:26 ◼   ► well you know they're spiritualism was a

01:00:29 ◼   ► big was a big thing right there is a

01:00:31 ◼   ► part of the parent schizophrenia is this

01:00:33 ◼   ► i don't even know that's exactly the

01:00:34 ◼   ► correct term forgive me I don't be i'm

01:00:36 ◼   ► really trying not to be insensitive

01:00:37 ◼   ► about this cuz you know it's it's close

01:00:39 ◼   ► to home but I it's interesting because I

01:00:42 ◼   ► a lot of it does involve the parent part

01:00:45 ◼   ► of the schizophrenia is that there there

01:00:47 ◼   ► it's this very very strong belief

01:00:49 ◼   ► essentially that somebody's fucking with

01:00:51 ◼   ► you right and that the conflict the

01:00:53 ◼   ► complexity of your the way your mind is

01:00:54 ◼   ► working is because something is

01:00:56 ◼   ► happening

01:00:57 ◼   ► well sure but wouldn't that just be

01:00:58 ◼   ► Damon's right i mean before before it

01:01:01 ◼   ► was the man like you bewitched or

01:01:03 ◼   ► something yeah right i mean i don't

01:01:05 ◼   ► think that there's anything specific to

01:01:07 ◼   ► it being like other humans who are

01:01:12 ◼   ► messing with you except that in the

01:01:14 ◼   ► modern age that seems a lot more

01:01:16 ◼   ► plausible been then

01:01:18 ◼   ► Damon's right over people using like the

01:01:23 ◼   ► sorcery right I guess sorcery would

01:01:25 ◼   ► probably okay yeah that checks out

01:01:27 ◼   ► Jack's out and a part of it also then is

01:01:30 ◼   ► that I think the part that makes this so

01:01:32 ◼   ► interesting scary is like the part of it

01:01:34 ◼   ► is that it involves somebody who has

01:01:37 ◼   ► malicious like ill will for you and is

01:01:40 ◼   ► acting upon a person or a group is

01:01:43 ◼   ► acting upon this with you know there

01:01:45 ◼   ► they are after you and they are

01:01:46 ◼   ► organized right and that they're doing

01:01:48 ◼   ► it remotely and that they're doing it

01:01:51 ◼   ► through some means of obfuscation which

01:01:53 ◼   ► obfuscation is part of the very thing

01:01:56 ◼   ► that is messing with you so I mean like

01:01:59 ◼   ► when you I know maybe I'm being precious

01:02:00 ◼   ► about but that's super interesting you

01:02:02 ◼   ► break that down into parts can you

01:02:03 ◼   ► imagine how excruciating that must be

01:02:04 ◼   ► well it's all I believe that more than

01:02:06 ◼   ► you believe anything in the world but

01:02:07 ◼   ► it's the core of the protocols of the

01:02:09 ◼   ► Elders of Zion I mean people have always

01:02:11 ◼   ► attributed that kind

01:02:13 ◼   ► of a malicious intent to the Jews or two

01:02:18 ◼   ► I mean the Jews but and that's you know

01:02:21 ◼   ► that was a convenient the Jews were

01:02:24 ◼   ► convenient scapegoat for all that kind

01:02:26 ◼   ► of paranoia for everyone in Europe for

01:02:29 ◼   ► years and years and years decades

01:02:31 ◼   ► hundreds of years so and you still see

01:02:35 ◼   ► you still see paranoiacs everywhere

01:02:38 ◼   ► attributing all that mind control to the

01:02:42 ◼   ► bilderberg group or whatever

01:02:44 ◼   ► yeah yeah wonder how who oh it was so

01:02:47 ◼   ► would you put chem trails in that in a

01:02:49 ◼   ► pile in the reckoning

01:02:50 ◼   ► I mean the reason that I feel chemtrails

01:02:52 ◼   ► is so remarkable is that it

01:02:55 ◼   ► it's it seems much more like one of

01:03:00 ◼   ► those conspiracies that isn't founded in

01:03:03 ◼   ► an actual mental illness but is founded

01:03:07 ◼   ► in the you know the pervasive American

01:03:12 ◼   ► tendency that a tendency that the most

01:03:17 ◼   ► ignorant people are the ones that are

01:03:19 ◼   ► most certain about their beliefs right

01:03:22 ◼   ► so the people all across the country are

01:03:24 ◼   ► absolutely sure that Obama is trying to

01:03:27 ◼   ► take their guns or whatever the fuck

01:03:29 ◼   ► their current thing is right and

01:03:31 ◼   ► chemtrails are just a part of that which

01:03:33 ◼   ► is like they're so profoundly ignorant

01:03:35 ◼   ► of how things work and so supremely

01:03:37 ◼   ► confident that their interpretation or

01:03:39 ◼   ► the interpretation of the radio a shock

01:03:43 ◼   ► jock that they listen to you see this

01:03:44 ◼   ► partly as somebody who's a little bit

01:03:46 ◼   ► knowledgeable about aircraft well and

01:03:48 ◼   ► how this guy works and how governments

01:03:50 ◼   ► work and happy that you don't like like

01:03:53 ◼   ► the have you ever worked with government

01:03:55 ◼   ► you know the motivation

01:03:58 ◼   ► what would be required to have chem

01:04:01 ◼   ► trails be a project as big as they say

01:04:03 ◼   ► and to keep it all a secret it's just

01:04:08 ◼   ► hilarious and what is the benefit

01:04:10 ◼   ► I mean what would the benefit of

01:04:11 ◼   ► mind-control Pete there's so much mind

01:04:13 ◼   ► control already that's just like right

01:04:15 ◼   ► and you're just holding it in your hand

01:04:17 ◼   ► you're soaking in it right but it's

01:04:19 ◼   ► evident it's right in front of you

01:04:21 ◼   ► there's no nobody's trying to do it in

01:04:23 ◼   ► secret and there's no and nobody's

01:04:25 ◼   ► controlling it like every at

01:04:26 ◼   ► attempt that they make to exert some

01:04:28 ◼   ► sort of i mean i do believe that it is

01:04:33 ◼   ► plausible

01:04:34 ◼   ► I believe that the narrative that the

01:04:36 ◼   ► that the that there is some connection

01:04:39 ◼   ► between drugs and guns and inner-city

01:04:43 ◼   ► violence that feels like it was seeded

01:04:47 ◼   ► by you know seated in some ways

01:04:52 ◼   ► unintentionally the results were

01:04:55 ◼   ► unintentional in enough to the scale

01:04:57 ◼   ► that they were but like the way that the

01:04:59 ◼   ► CIA was drug running and paying for

01:05:02 ◼   ► Nicaragua and giving getting black

01:05:04 ◼   ► plates

01:05:05 ◼   ► well and i think is aids-like and

01:05:07 ◼   ► introducing crack as like the dudes like

01:05:10 ◼   ► don't disposable e directly to play

01:05:13 ◼   ► crack into ghettos idols reasons I don't

01:05:16 ◼   ► think they're clever enough i don't

01:05:19 ◼   ► think anyone at the CIA is clever clever

01:05:21 ◼   ► enough to orchestrate it but I to

01:05:25 ◼   ► orchestrate what happened but I do but

01:05:28 ◼   ► there's enough stuff that has been

01:05:29 ◼   ► documented and the and that narrative of

01:05:32 ◼   ► like black power was real it was having

01:05:36 ◼   ► a transformative effect and then it was

01:05:39 ◼   ► completely like wiped off the face of

01:05:43 ◼   ► the earth by this seemingly like like

01:05:48 ◼   ► blood wave of drugs that came into the

01:05:50 ◼   ► inner cities and the CIA is meanwhile

01:05:53 ◼   ► dealing drugs to fund their covert

01:05:56 ◼   ► operations just like there's just too

01:05:58 ◼   ► much going on there to dismiss it

01:06:01 ◼   ► wholeheartedly and here's here's why I

01:06:04 ◼   ► think is that I mean there was a time I

01:06:07 ◼   ► guess when there were a lot of rumors

01:06:09 ◼   ► and you know and understand like the

01:06:11 ◼   ► what we knew about what the CIA did

01:06:13 ◼   ► before the nineteen seventies was it was

01:06:15 ◼   ► more like what we know the NSA does now

01:06:16 ◼   ► which is we assume everything but who

01:06:18 ◼   ► knows but you know it was it will be

01:06:20 ◼   ► years before we learn a lot about what

01:06:21 ◼   ► the CI had done years earlier so for

01:06:23 ◼   ► example like let's say you heard a rumor

01:06:25 ◼   ► about the extent to which the CIA wanted

01:06:28 ◼   ► to disrupt humiliate and potentially

01:06:31 ◼   ► kill Fidel Castro and it's if you heard

01:06:34 ◼   ► you would hear that you might have heard

01:06:36 ◼   ► these stories that are so outlandish

01:06:37 ◼   ► never going to make his beer trying

01:06:40 ◼   ► make his beard fallout yeah like but the

01:06:42 ◼   ► thing is that apparently they did huh

01:06:45 ◼   ► yeah right i mean this is true didn't

01:06:47 ◼   ► like trying to poison his food they're

01:06:48 ◼   ► all these different kinds of things

01:06:49 ◼   ► aren't shit man look what happened with

01:06:51 ◼   ► that with all the guys in people in

01:06:53 ◼   ► Russia being poisoned you know like that

01:06:55 ◼   ► guy who was basically poisoned by Putin

01:06:57 ◼   ► it's like well it doesn't take that many

01:06:59 ◼   ► stories where you go up geez like this

01:07:01 ◼   ► really is like three days of the Condor

01:07:03 ◼   ► it's really this is bad but all of those

01:07:05 ◼   ► things you can see you can picture a guy

01:07:08 ◼   ► sitting in his desk with a mustache and

01:07:12 ◼   ► he's like he's got an assignment he's on

01:07:15 ◼   ► assignment because i'm fairly specific

01:07:16 ◼   ► assignment to like disrupt with pride

01:07:20 ◼   ► bet for a long time a lot of CIA was

01:07:22 ◼   ► causing chaos disrupt disruption and

01:07:26 ◼   ► lack of trust in a given government

01:07:28 ◼   ► yeah right before you say like we're

01:07:29 ◼   ► gonna send in troops a lot of it might

01:07:30 ◼   ► have been like something as simple as

01:07:32 ◼   ► make the electricity go off a lot so

01:07:34 ◼   ► people don't trust the government it

01:07:35 ◼   ► would be that's an operational thing I

01:07:37 ◼   ► could see people doing at ground level

01:07:38 ◼   ► except you can picture you can picture

01:07:40 ◼   ► five people in a in a meeting room where

01:07:42 ◼   ► they closed the door and goes and then

01:07:45 ◼   ► they totally flip some switch and the

01:07:47 ◼   ► the cone of silence comes down and

01:07:49 ◼   ► they're like okay here's what we're

01:07:50 ◼   ► going to do but you can't picture five

01:07:52 ◼   ► people in a room imagining the scope of

01:07:56 ◼   ► we're going to we're going to turn

01:08:00 ◼   ► colombian cocaine into a weapon to

01:08:05 ◼   ► destabilize the Black Power movement

01:08:07 ◼   ► it's just too it's too

01:08:12 ◼   ► there there are too many things that

01:08:15 ◼   ► have to happen that where the logical

01:08:19 ◼   ► explanation is much it is much simpler

01:08:22 ◼   ► to say simpler and more cost effective

01:08:25 ◼   ► and more secretive way to do it that

01:08:27 ◼   ► didn't require all of those contortions

01:08:28 ◼   ► is is seeding contrails with chemicals

01:08:31 ◼   ► the best way to do whatever it is you

01:08:33 ◼   ► think these people are trying to

01:08:33 ◼   ► accomplish is that the most effective

01:08:35 ◼   ► way to do that

01:08:36 ◼   ► yeah i'm at nana's it's bananas and also

01:08:38 ◼   ► liked the story of the Colombian drug

01:08:41 ◼   ► cartels that where they came up

01:08:43 ◼   ► organically and found a market for this

01:08:45 ◼   ► product and it it you know and there was

01:08:48 ◼   ► a like that is a story Simon and we know

01:08:51 ◼   ► that the CIA in Iraq

01:08:53 ◼   ► did with them but there wasn't it's much

01:08:55 ◼   ► more plausible that was just capitalism

01:08:57 ◼   ► working then that anyone in the CIA had

01:09:00 ◼   ► a big plan right and no soldiers came

01:09:03 ◼   ► back from Vietnam and they've gotten

01:09:04 ◼   ► hooked on heroin in Asia and that was

01:09:09 ◼   ► that seems much more organic and natural

01:09:11 ◼   ► and and plausible than that they were

01:09:14 ◼   ► intentionally hooked on drugs by the CIA

01:09:17 ◼   ► trying to ruin the inner city and so

01:09:20 ◼   ► there's too many steps in a lot of those

01:09:23 ◼   ► conspiracies for it for it to fort for

01:09:28 ◼   ► me to believe that five guys in her in a

01:09:31 ◼   ► cone of silence had the wisdom to

01:09:34 ◼   ► foresee all of this stuff they're just

01:09:38 ◼   ► in their line and keep it a secret all

01:09:40 ◼   ► those all of those steps five guys could

01:09:43 ◼   ► not cause that to happen by the rebels

01:09:45 ◼   ► so there's a guy with the mustache and

01:09:47 ◼   ► short-sleeved white shirts smoking of

01:09:49 ◼   ► cigarette and he's got an idea and it's

01:09:52 ◼   ► never been

01:09:53 ◼   ► he's he never has the authority or the

01:09:56 ◼   ► budget to pull off a big idea

01:09:59 ◼   ► no one could ever say chemtrails and

01:10:01 ◼   ► then have access to the black budget to

01:10:06 ◼   ► create it right he'd have to take it up

01:10:08 ◼   ► to the head office the head office is

01:10:10 ◼   ► going to say well we've also we're

01:10:11 ◼   ► trying to source trying to foment a

01:10:14 ◼   ► revolution in the following six

01:10:16 ◼   ► countries and we're trying to make

01:10:17 ◼   ► Castro's beard fallout you know will

01:10:19 ◼   ► give you a million dollars exploratory

01:10:21 ◼   ► funds or whatever but you know so that's

01:10:24 ◼   ► the that's the main stumbling block with

01:10:26 ◼   ► most of those conspiracies like back

01:10:28 ◼   ► trace it to the to the guy in short

01:10:31 ◼   ► sleeve shirt that had the diabolical

01:10:33 ◼   ► idea and then tell me there's any

01:10:36 ◼   ► organization in the world where he can

01:10:38 ◼   ► where he can get a powerpoint

01:10:40 ◼   ► demonstration up where they give him the

01:10:42 ◼   ► the six hundred million dollars to pull

01:10:46 ◼   ► off his scheme you know right its and

01:10:48 ◼   ► you'll find nobody finds out and nobody

01:10:50 ◼   ► finds out why don't you like the way he

01:10:53 ◼   ► the army cheated like the Chief of Staff

01:10:56 ◼   ► of the Armed Forces doesn't have the

01:10:59 ◼   ► authority to and the director of the CIA

01:11:01 ◼   ► you know they have access to this money

01:11:03 ◼   ► but they don't that it's not like some

01:11:05 ◼   ► kind of

01:11:06 ◼   ► situation where they just sweep into a

01:11:07 ◼   ► room and say here's the plan

01:11:10 ◼   ► you know they're there bureaucracies so

01:11:13 ◼   ► that's the that's the number one thing

01:11:14 ◼   ► that causes me to say 99% of the

01:11:18 ◼   ► conspiracy theories would require I

01:11:22 ◼   ► would require a Blofeld mhm and there's

01:11:26 ◼   ► there just aren't any Blofeld's that we

01:11:29 ◼   ► know of

01:11:29 ◼   ► well I mean I sergey brin alright just a

01:11:34 ◼   ► magic word no that's okay okay we're

01:11:36 ◼   ► gonna do that thing where you from the

01:11:38 ◼   ► internet

01:11:38 ◼   ► oh please this is the story of James

01:11:40 ◼   ► Tooley Matthews i sent you a link in the

01:11:41 ◼   ► robot 1797 he was the first person

01:11:46 ◼   ► documented with what we now called

01:11:48 ◼   ► paranoid schizophrenia

01:11:49 ◼   ► oh and the guy who tended to him was

01:11:51 ◼   ► this guy John Haslem who wrote a book

01:11:54 ◼   ► about what happened with this fella and

01:11:56 ◼   ► the thing that he believed was

01:11:57 ◼   ► tormenting him and you'll see that the

01:11:59 ◼   ► illustration that was made of this thing

01:12:01 ◼   ► called the air low which is the thing so

01:12:04 ◼   ► in the pre active electricity age

01:12:05 ◼   ► this is the machine that was causing all

01:12:07 ◼   ► this trouble so I thought you'd enjoy

01:12:09 ◼   ► this but also would like to read you the

01:12:11 ◼   ► name of the others lot of people of the

01:12:14 ◼   ► book that John has them wrote about this

01:12:15 ◼   ► because it's probably my favorite title

01:12:17 ◼   ► of a book ever

01:12:18 ◼   ► this is often 1810 john hasn't wrote a

01:12:20 ◼   ► book was later shortened to

01:12:21 ◼   ► illustrations of of madness the full

01:12:24 ◼   ► title original title illustrations of

01:12:26 ◼   ► madness exhibiting a singular case of

01:12:28 ◼   ► insanity and no less remarkable

01:12:30 ◼   ► difference in medical opinions

01:12:32 ◼   ► developing the nature of an assailant

01:12:34 ◼   ► and the manner of working events with a

01:12:36 ◼   ► description of tortures experience by

01:12:38 ◼   ► bombs bursting lobster cracking and

01:12:39 ◼   ► lengthening the brain embellished with a

01:12:41 ◼   ► curious plate haha i love the word is

01:12:44 ◼   ► ailment mhm so the heirloom as

01:12:49 ◼   ► illustrated here as well as messing with

01:12:52 ◼   ► this guy the torments included induced

01:12:54 ◼   ► by the Rays of the heirloom included

01:12:55 ◼   ► lobster cracking well which is a

01:12:57 ◼   ► circular saw you get the lobster

01:12:58 ◼   ► cracking under the circulation of the

01:13:00 ◼   ► blood was prevented by a magnetic field

01:13:02 ◼   ► stomach skinning an apoplexy working

01:13:03 ◼   ► with nutmeg grater which involved the

01:13:05 ◼   ► introduction of fluids into the skull

01:13:06 ◼   ► his persecutors bore such names as the

01:13:09 ◼   ► middleman who operated the heirloom the

01:13:10 ◼   ► glove woman and sir Archie who acted as

01:13:12 ◼   ► quote unquote repeaters or active

01:13:14 ◼   ► warriors to enhance Matthews treat

01:13:16 ◼   ► torment or record the machines

01:13:18 ◼   ► activities and their leader a man

01:13:19 ◼   ► bill or the King what you know as you

01:13:23 ◼   ► describe that and and this has been true

01:13:25 ◼   ► i think of is like an HBO show

01:13:27 ◼   ► well yeah Wow actually start writing

01:13:31 ◼   ► that script but uh but his description

01:13:34 ◼   ► of his tormenters is it equips nicely

01:13:40 ◼   ► with how I would describe a some of the

01:13:44 ◼   ► cast of voices in my own head like there

01:13:48 ◼   ► are like characters or invoices not like

01:13:51 ◼   ► hearing voices but like points of view

01:13:53 ◼   ► that you can punch of you that have

01:13:55 ◼   ► distinct personalities yeah from one

01:13:58 ◼   ► another right where were you

01:14:00 ◼   ► you're walking along in here and you're

01:14:02 ◼   ► quietude and some voice says uh it's you

01:14:07 ◼   ► know a dummy over here

01:14:08 ◼   ► yeah it's it's imperative that we do the

01:14:10 ◼   ► following thing and some other voice

01:14:12 ◼   ► says what

01:14:13 ◼   ► that's the dumbest idea we've ever had

01:14:15 ◼   ► and after a while II you have to

01:14:20 ◼   ► acknowledge that these are separate they

01:14:22 ◼   ► have separate viewpoints that and they

01:14:23 ◼   ► have personalities enough to express

01:14:25 ◼   ► them right here

01:14:26 ◼   ► yeah but but i never i do not locate

01:14:30 ◼   ► those things outside my body and that

01:14:34 ◼   ► whatever their torment it just it seems

01:14:38 ◼   ► like a heated discussion there they

01:14:40 ◼   ► aren't like and and in a way I don't

01:14:45 ◼   ► separate myself from them except at

01:14:48 ◼   ► curiously like who are your dogs not

01:14:51 ◼   ► telling you to go out and kill the

01:14:52 ◼   ► people in your mail route or something

01:14:53 ◼   ► right

01:14:54 ◼   ► but but the different personalities that

01:14:56 ◼   ► he describes in that you know just their

01:14:58 ◼   ► character their character names their

01:15:01 ◼   ► kid their player character named feel

01:15:04 ◼   ► very familiar right that the one but the

01:15:06 ◼   ► one that's leading the whole thing named

01:15:08 ◼   ► bill for the king and over the king and

01:15:11 ◼   ► LOL or the King you know uh that the