Ep. 217: "Dickā¦AND!"
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hello hi John hi Merlin was going oh
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good good good happy monday thank you
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happy mondays
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yeah um are you good
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yes you have any and exciting new Apple
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events well i'm reporting live from the
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floor here at the major apple event may
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be beating we have updated the terms of
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yes I've seen it it's amazing it's
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amazing that you agree
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what choice do I have whoa-oh what you
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I just agreed and you wouldn't believe
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what happened no you have to be a
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millennium to understand this breakup
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story you have to be a nineties kid to
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know how to use iOS 10 is tens need to
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send you some stickers
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listen I haven't upgraded yet know and I
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keep hearing about it
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oh it was problematic no no no the
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oh it's amazing like like Buddha and
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somebody says oh sorry i was just
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watching my phone like tell me my own
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future and I was like wow does it do
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yeah you're probably doing is just
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taking messages from people that say set
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with lasers be getting that were sent
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with confetti
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mhm no I'm gotten that yet i'm doing how
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r l talk about i'm walking down the
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street with people IRL who lurk durban
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yet on phone and it's like why you here
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even lurp more than you normally do
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it's fun it's really fun hey is that now
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let me ask you this is a resolution
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higher they increase the resolution from
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1028 peepees to 400,000 let's get the
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update you'll see it sets about 1029
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peepees uh-huh yeah you want to get as
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many cookies as you can on screen that's
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why it's waterproof the it's a lot of
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there's a lot of neat stuff this is uh a
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except for you who seems like poison
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with electronics it's a fantastic very
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solid update suit
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yeah that's the stickers are fun there's
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a there's a there's lots of stickers and
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and and then there's and there's an app
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you can get where you can remember your
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favorite animated gifs and easily add
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them from any of your devices really you
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can you can add gifts mm-hmm
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just click so I'm gonna do a good gift
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yeah well you know I've always this is
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minus thirty secret yeah always been
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confused by how to make and save and
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store gifts yes well the Photos app does
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not handle them well or consistently
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but I don't even know how to begin ok
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I've tried to save some and then it
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saves it as like four thousand pictures
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no it's no good you know what that but I
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can never get it just play again
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mm there's some there's some writing
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encryption me and you know it's weird
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because sometimes you know i'll just
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copy and paste the link and sometimes it
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works and sometimes it goes to a page
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and sometimes but you know start up
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start off easy start easy easy that's
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what I'm gonna start start off do you
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back your phone up John I I should
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probably ask the software feedback phone
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up to me and do I back that phone you
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back that up
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ball ball ball ball and hip-hop song uh
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i think it is a reference to an idea
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back to the throne of part of ecology
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get a little plug or get a little iCloud
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back the phone up
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mhm have you ever had someone back and
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ass up to you
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oh uh i was at a bachelor party one time
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that I'd love to forget your hat now you
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know you even said those words I want to
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yeah i still think about it once a month
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and I i shudder at 10 what did terrible
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things at that and I didn't enjoy it
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spend a little more than I should it
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wasn't fun i iu we've been in a strip
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club together right
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yes you know it's not my thing I know it
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isn't you you i think i am probably the
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greatest I'm the one they should have
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dollars put into his underpants because
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it's quite a show to watch how
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manifestly uncomfortable I am and I
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can't even begin to hide it
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if i can recall correctly you sit with
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your knees together pressed together
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with briefcase on your lap and I don't
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mean like flat on your lap I mean
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standing up like popcorn yet with your
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hand that's what your hands on the lock
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yeah just waiting for the waiting to
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look looking through the gloom for an
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yeah if it's a lot like my posture from
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my early days of going to Amateur improv
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shows right just kind of have this this
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rictus of a smile on my face as i gently
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rock back and forth haha alright I'm
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gonna need something you find about room
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and it's a topping and while we can
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comfortably now to know my god you know
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dick jokes are funny just do dick jokes
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but i'll try to make that improv
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boop-boop-boop-boop Nick and go tell me
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yes you there do you do you remember
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yes you do yes you wake up in the
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morning and you remember your dreams i
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can remember my dream from last night
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and you remember it clearly
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parts of it there's an entire episode of
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the show John syracuse about this
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because he is utterly perplexed by why
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anybody would want to remember and
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record the SE calls it brain garbage
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that his dreams i'm intrigued by dreams
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i don't find meaningful but i'm
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intrigued by them like for example last
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night i was eating fast food and I had
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made friends with a comically large
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fuzzy bear and the bear walked in front
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of the restaurant was in and wave to me
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and had the voice of Leslie Jones so
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that's a nice feeling for me I like
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listen Jen dream
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why would you be pals with with a big
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grizzly bear the talk Leslie Jones I am
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I don't know that bear but yeah that's
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wonderful and it do dreams fade
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throughout the day so by the end of the
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day you're kinda like and it was a bear
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named chocolate Leslie Jones but early
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curious aj lee curious about this get a
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little bit i'm fucking really curious ok
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yes uh what happens is i will have
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dreams very intense training for what
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feels like a long time and then I wake
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up and I've been made a practice of
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trying to go back into the dream and I
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have a methodology that i use for that
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but to answer your question specifically
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yes it does faith through the day but
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Allah the phenomenon of 11 primacy and
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recency i'm not sure i remember dreams
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from the night before as i'm going to
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sleep sometimes
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oh you know what I mean not primacy and
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recency what it's called
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look at your local sprint I it's when
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you're able to remember a dream but no
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they must be fate sometimes I write them
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down and they're very very silly how
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successful have you been in pursuing a
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lucid dreaming strategy ec not very we
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should talk to our friend grant about
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this because I think grant made quite a
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study of this a long time and knows lots
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about it you're talking about grand ball
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for the floor
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yeah you south africa south african
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Germanic tribe and I have been very
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actually I hate to admit it because you
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know and I feel like we're getting more
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jalan territory a little bit more jalan
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ya but I I'm yeah I'm very interested in
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that idea cause probably it's I mean I
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accept the idea that what we call a
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dream I just as my daughter and is
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trying to describe like the you know
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that what what i mean by brain garbage
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which is that you bring you know your
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mom your mind is a brain is doing lots
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of filing and lots of people going out
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yeah if you're sleeping enough stuff is
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happening and the thing is it's not
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garbage in the sense that it all useless
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images but it is a fairly weird soon as
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i understand it fairly weird random
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synaptic mismatch like why did I
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suddenly think of this person that I met
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one time yeah 92 in a drunk drunk drunk
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in bed spring garbage that fascinated by
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did you ever work in her in like a in a
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job where you filed things
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yes right you're good at this you could
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always find amazing lots file yeah i
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could write amazing class file well I
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just think of it as like files files
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files on you know its files all the way
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mvi find it there's certain kinds of
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things i think this is one way in which
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are probably more alike than different
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there are certain kinds of what other
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people consider mindless tasks that I
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really enjoy i enjoy sorting Legos
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oh yeah always black just sit just when
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you just said that yeah I realized that
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there's an emptiness in me how well we
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sort them all we sort them by size will
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sort them by color while we sort them by
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kit we sort them by how often they're
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used without sort of like the right
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that's lame I know but I mean we take
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the little things that could be used as
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lights are flowers and put them into
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this little of this little of tackle box
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that I don't have a zero this i don't
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have a bit of Legos so right now so I
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don't have a tackle box
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Oh as you know I have several several
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tackle box style boxes
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yes full of political pins and other
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things that probably many of our friends
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would consider garbage but these are
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your cigar box type system
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well except i have other i have larger
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boxes bigger than cigar boxes that are
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not meant for like tied flies exactly
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but like you but there but they are
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there are cut different from like
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somebody's a little wooden wall
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decoration where they keep all their
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symbols like we're not talking about
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like a like a box on the wall boxes what
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we call that doesn't look that good
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yeah some kind of display memento mori
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uh yeah I know you're very popular
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culture their mƩnage when we were kids
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those are very popular we had some
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friends that had 14 there late lamented
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dog and a photo and his favorite chew
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toy and that was on the wall
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yeah and the the symbol remember in this
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in the seventies people displayed their
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symbols or there you know the the little
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uns spoons right or the bells that you
00:10:45
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would get in truck stops yes
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gates you need a box for that stuff well
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this my collections if you if if you'll
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allow me he seemed not in those but in a
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similar like structure but it has a
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glass lid so so you can see the stuff
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but it's under glass
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and I don't mount them on the wall I
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keep them stacked Oh like you know like
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a like a modified little map rack but
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miniature I like the sound of that full
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of pins who but I don't have I have I
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have not solved the legos conundrum
00:11:29
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uh-huh because legos our thing obviously
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to me as they are to you and to everyone
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and I I desperately want Legos in my
00:11:42
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life again i think probably seventy
00:11:45
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percent of the reason i was excited
00:11:46
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about having a kid was that I could get
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legos back in my life
00:11:49
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it trains and legos trains and legos
00:11:53
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but when i go to the store to shop for
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legos when I go to the lego store to
00:12:00
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shop for legs when I make pilgrimages to
00:12:04
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uh-huh i become so confused and baffled
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and dismayed by what i find that Lego
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stores by which i mean they're Shh
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fucking shit tastic expensive
00:12:20
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yeah it is they're entirely built around
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kit this brainless a whole like brand
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and marketing thing that like I I don't
00:12:28
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want to build an Eiffel Tower I want a
00:12:30
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box of legos and and then you can go to
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those places where they have the legos
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independently in bins they're like
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fourteen dollars apiece and incredibly
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costly and uh and so I don't know where
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to begin i wander around the lego store
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for like two and a half hours i pull
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things down and like if I took this like
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Lego princess castle apart would i be
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able or can you make other things with
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them and then I i leave empty-handed
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I've gone online yeah and I've said sell
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me your 1979 like like wash tub full of
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legos which is what I'm imagining IV is
00:13:09
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but I've never pulled the trigger on one
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are you looking more at first of all if
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you'll permit me I will I will gift you
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with something today i will send it to
00:13:17
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you through the Amazon like I'd like to
00:13:19
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do that for you are you interested in
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just a whole bunch of classic like what
00:13:26
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eight nubbin legos that kind of thing
00:13:28
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you want classic bricks you're not
00:13:30
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looking for a lot of Liberty tivity
00:13:31
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that's correct
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ok Oh was looking at right here it's a
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good one is the lego classic large
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creative brick box this is 790 pieces
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looks like a lock it comes with a lot of
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standard old stop bricks many different
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colors it comes with wheels
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◼
►
it comes with screens it comes with
00:13:47
◼
►
windows and doors you can make houses
00:13:49
◼
►
that's nice but it's just a big-ass box
00:13:52
◼
►
shaped like a Lego that has 790 pieces
00:13:56
◼
►
in so okay i'm gonna give you that to
00:13:59
◼
►
start and I like to give to you with the
00:14:01
◼
►
classics and base plate on which you can
00:14:03
◼
►
build these things
00:14:04
◼
►
Santa blaze oh so it's sand-colored
00:14:06
◼
►
being the big green 12
00:14:08
◼
►
yeah but you'll also need to jerk did
00:14:10
◼
►
your daughter get into duplo at all
00:14:12
◼
►
well we did get into duplo and we built
00:14:15
◼
►
things out of duplo several princess
00:14:18
◼
►
castles as you can imagine yeah yeah we
00:14:21
◼
►
built she likes to build rooms and you
00:14:25
◼
►
know bedrooms and kitchens and garages
00:14:27
◼
►
and bridges but the duplos just didn't
00:14:31
◼
►
have the precision yeah well therefore
00:14:33
◼
►
you know they're for little hands
00:14:34
◼
►
yeah and then people started giving her
00:14:37
◼
►
lego gifts but they were like here's a
00:14:41
◼
►
like a like cool motorcycle mama she's
00:14:45
◼
►
got a she's got a dirt bike and this is
00:14:50
◼
►
a little it's like a little diorama
00:14:51
◼
►
right there's a palm tree there's a tent
00:14:54
◼
►
where she's spending the night
00:14:57
◼
►
there's a motorcycle and then there are
00:14:59
◼
►
50 tiny tiny little chocobo ball
00:15:03
◼
►
talkable upon little things like here's
00:15:07
◼
►
her little who's her little matchbook
00:15:09
◼
►
yeah I'm here's her little you know like
00:15:11
◼
►
her magnifying glass and sounds like the
00:15:13
◼
►
franchise called friends which is seems
00:15:17
◼
►
super lame but has some of the best
00:15:18
◼
►
weirdo pieces ever but they know they're
00:15:22
◼
►
always gonna say about to play was the
00:15:23
◼
►
cool thing because they lay
00:15:24
◼
►
no and they're awesome to delay the
00:15:26
◼
►
duplo and the with accommodating size
00:15:29
◼
►
pieces with bricks you can use your
00:15:31
◼
►
DUPLO and your Lego to get there
00:15:33
◼
►
No so if in our case we got it we got a
00:15:36
◼
►
butt ton of big bricks so if you don't
00:15:38
◼
►
have the base of your castle like your
00:15:41
◼
►
wall your fortification you could make
00:15:43
◼
►
that a duplos and then you can get sexy
00:15:46
◼
►
it up with you know turrets mom is crazy
00:15:49
◼
►
I thought the same thing occurred to me
00:15:51
◼
►
one day this is Lego I should see if
00:15:53
◼
►
this works now doesn't work for him it's
00:15:54
◼
►
gotta be the same size and everything
00:15:55
◼
►
they do work together it's it's kind of
00:15:59
◼
►
so are you still at a five-digit address
00:16:03
◼
►
starting with one
00:16:04
◼
►
yes okay i'm going to send you right now
00:16:06
◼
►
will be delivered today you're going to
00:16:08
◼
►
get the classic large creative brick box
00:16:10
◼
►
10 698 the classics and base plate and
00:16:15
◼
►
the classic green base plate supplement
00:16:18
◼
►
me i do that i mean that's that's that's
00:16:23
◼
►
wonderful it's wonderful thoughtful of
00:16:25
◼
►
you to do this just to try and solve my
00:16:27
◼
►
lego connect I'm not trying to solve
00:16:28
◼
►
anything I just want you to have legos
00:16:30
◼
►
because because you know here's the
00:16:31
◼
►
thing is ordered
00:16:32
◼
►
um here's the thing it depends it's a
00:16:36
◼
►
Sisyphean task let all things involving
00:16:39
◼
►
well I'm like everything i do i use the
00:16:42
◼
►
word Mississippi in 15 times a day to
00:16:44
◼
►
describe something I just did write it
00:16:47
◼
►
just keeps rolling back down synthesis
00:16:49
◼
►
of this is all the way down every every
00:16:52
◼
►
day I mean I'm so i should say she's a
00:16:55
◼
►
way of this color entire enter cock but
00:16:58
◼
►
warehouses professionally cleaned on
00:16:59
◼
►
Friday our entire entire living room
00:17:02
◼
►
table is currently covered with Lego ah
00:17:04
◼
►
it was professionally cleaned in order
00:17:08
◼
►
to make a clean a gar base you know what
00:17:11
◼
►
a kid loves to mess up more than
00:17:12
◼
►
anything a professionally cleaned room
00:17:14
◼
►
right uh-huh perfectly professionally
00:17:17
◼
►
clean the room and I want to I want to
00:17:18
◼
►
get to the Sisyphus but just here's the
00:17:20
◼
►
thing this it depends on I've said this
00:17:22
◼
►
before you know as you know I'm a
00:17:23
◼
►
Productivity to retire productivity cool
00:17:26
◼
►
i think a big part of success in one's
00:17:28
◼
►
career is to figure out what about one's
00:17:31
◼
►
occupation is necessarily hard because
00:17:34
◼
►
that is the reason as they say you get
00:17:36
◼
►
the big bucks
00:17:37
◼
►
is this part of it is necessary dip
00:17:39
◼
►
necessarily difficult and there's a
00:17:40
◼
►
reason that not everybody can or will do
00:17:42
◼
►
it like some people are really good at
00:17:44
◼
►
fixing automobiles and other people
00:17:46
◼
►
right excellent pop songs or
00:17:48
◼
►
what-have-you then you have to figure
00:17:50
◼
►
out the part of your job that is not
00:17:51
◼
►
necessarily difficult but you find to be
00:17:54
◼
►
difficult and can you improve that and
00:17:56
◼
►
the part of success is figuring out how
00:17:58
◼
►
much you can tolerate the stuff that's
00:18:00
◼
►
difficult but not making your job good
00:18:02
◼
►
how much this stuff is difficult to fix
00:18:04
◼
►
you see where I'm going with this
00:18:05
◼
►
I'm sorry this goes for parenting to so
00:18:07
◼
►
if you just happen to be a person who
00:18:09
◼
►
likes sorting legos but don't mind that
00:18:12
◼
►
it won't matter in 10 minutes that they
00:18:14
◼
►
were organized you're good to go
00:18:16
◼
►
problem is if you think that the the
00:18:18
◼
►
flower light nubbins should always stay
00:18:19
◼
►
in this drawer and you think you know
00:18:22
◼
►
what I'm saying
00:18:22
◼
►
pretty soon I was a guy in the lego
00:18:23
◼
►
movie and you're you put the kragle over
00:18:26
◼
►
everything right and then this guy over
00:18:27
◼
►
here yet this would die I would not
00:18:31
◼
►
tolerate racism i have of I have the
00:18:36
◼
►
ball in the course of time
00:18:38
◼
►
yeah basically evolutionary biology John
00:18:40
◼
►
i have personally evolved into a
00:18:43
◼
►
different species because of evolution
00:18:46
◼
►
right i have naturally selected within
00:18:51
◼
►
oh you talk about that the the hidden
00:18:53
◼
►
arm that that causes evolution you've
00:18:56
◼
►
been you've been armed and the Armed
00:18:58
◼
►
upon I think what I think it's the will
00:19:00
◼
►
of something that wants to evolve in its
00:19:04
◼
►
next-generation that wills that
00:19:06
◼
►
evolution to happen right that wills the
00:19:10
◼
►
natural selection to take place in a
00:19:11
◼
►
certain way by by virtue of choosing
00:19:15
◼
►
yeah so it's something like Lobster has
00:19:17
◼
►
evolved to that yet
00:19:18
◼
►
uh well a lobster is just a mosquito
00:19:23
◼
►
that evolved into a lobster em right the
00:19:26
◼
►
person skeet oh it's interesting at acc
00:19:30
◼
►
well it sort of it you know something
00:19:33
◼
►
let's call it landed on the water was
00:19:35
◼
►
like nice and then said in the future I
00:19:39
◼
►
hope my kids can swim
00:19:43
◼
►
haha and then those kids were swimmers
00:19:48
◼
►
oh you want you want better for your
00:19:49
◼
►
kids yeah and then the swimmer kids were
00:19:51
◼
►
like what's on the bottom
00:19:53
◼
►
uh-huh one day I hope that my kids can
00:19:56
◼
►
swim to the bottom and then they did
00:19:59
◼
►
their kill you what I'm tired of having
00:20:02
◼
►
the the short life of my progenitors I
00:20:06
◼
►
would like my kids to live longer than
00:20:08
◼
►
me maybe upwards of a hundred years
00:20:10
◼
►
well somewhere along the line some
00:20:12
◼
►
mosquito I don't know whether it was
00:20:14
◼
►
intentional whether they just went to
00:20:15
◼
►
the bottom because they're looking for
00:20:16
◼
►
parole so who and then realize that the
00:20:18
◼
►
cold water kept them live longer
00:20:21
◼
►
ok or whether on the surface the
00:20:23
◼
►
mosquito the the the proto mosquito
00:20:26
◼
►
proto lobster I'm sorry yes post-post
00:20:28
◼
►
Skeeter proto lobster mhm said I want to
00:20:34
◼
►
I know that cold produces longer life I
00:20:37
◼
►
said I sense it
00:20:38
◼
►
I'm going down Paul you know what I'm
00:20:41
◼
►
saying I'm going down one thing only
00:20:48
◼
►
I am broadcasting to you from California
00:20:52
◼
►
but I have a I have now established my
00:20:57
◼
►
mobile podcasting rig you sound great
00:20:59
◼
►
you played in also plugged in I'm
00:21:02
◼
►
plugged into the hole
00:21:03
◼
►
I'm putting the whole me gently you
00:21:06
◼
►
sound so much better this way
00:21:08
◼
►
and oh it all fits into a small bag into
00:21:14
◼
►
a small bag my entire podcasting
00:21:17
◼
►
operation now fits into my shoulder bag
00:21:21
◼
►
which goes in the overhead compartment
00:21:23
◼
►
move an airplane
00:21:25
◼
►
this includes your fancy podcasting like
00:21:26
◼
►
the open everything so it goes into a
00:21:30
◼
►
couple bags one of the bags
00:21:31
◼
►
actually that goes in the small bag
00:21:33
◼
►
because the bag small bag is very small
00:21:36
◼
►
whoo-hoo but one of the inner bags which
00:21:38
◼
►
is smaller is a an old padded laptop bag
00:21:42
◼
►
that you gave me one time back in the
00:21:44
◼
►
day when laptops needed to be ensconced
00:21:48
◼
►
in their own special bags yes that you
00:21:51
◼
►
needed to take out of the bag and then
00:21:53
◼
►
take this is it
00:21:54
◼
►
snap tab SF bags at wakefield like a
00:21:58
◼
►
welcome back it's kind of funny but it's
00:22:00
◼
►
not bulk repeal crow i think it was one
00:22:02
◼
►
of your earliest one sure a bag that you
00:22:05
◼
►
use when you had when your laptop was as
00:22:07
◼
►
thick as a paperback book
00:22:08
◼
►
whoo-hoo and and I find like a Russian
00:22:11
◼
►
paperback book like a beer that's right
00:22:13
◼
►
like a russian book a trade paperback
00:22:16
◼
►
who from Russia and 1890s trivia I and
00:22:21
◼
►
that bag actually does not it contains
00:22:23
◼
►
the microphone and the headphones which
00:22:26
◼
►
are in a separate small bag it all goes
00:22:28
◼
►
into that small bag which goes into the
00:22:30
◼
►
small bag i love a bag in the back
00:22:32
◼
►
that's three bats bag in a bag in a bag
00:22:34
◼
►
didn't say his bags on me down
00:22:40
◼
►
so here i am and i'm in california and
00:22:42
◼
►
it's all but you know the number of the
00:22:47
◼
►
number of opportunities to feel like
00:22:48
◼
►
Sisyphus in California who its
00:22:52
◼
►
exponentially more opportunities because
00:22:55
◼
►
they're all these people in California
00:22:57
◼
►
that I have to correct because they're
00:22:59
◼
►
profoundly doing it wrong yeah and and
00:23:04
◼
►
then i use that you i'm just guessing in
00:23:06
◼
►
the los angeles area i am in los angeles
00:23:09
◼
►
area however either but what baby they
00:23:11
◼
►
must be you must be exhausted John all
00:23:13
◼
►
is what we just what you see you go
00:23:16
◼
►
outside to get a newspaper pick up a
00:23:17
◼
►
coffee the kind of stuff that you're
00:23:18
◼
►
going to see people walking around and
00:23:20
◼
►
acting like that is normal or acceptable
00:23:22
◼
►
behavior it's insane you could if you
00:23:25
◼
►
tied a copper wire around the top of the
00:23:29
◼
►
first man bun you saw who
00:23:32
◼
►
and then as you walk your spooling cop
00:23:34
◼
►
I'm very thin copper wire as you're
00:23:38
◼
►
walking every time you saw a bun on a
00:23:40
◼
►
man-woman a top bottom i'm talking about
00:23:42
◼
►
not a back button sure you wrap the
00:23:45
◼
►
copper wire one more time around the
00:23:47
◼
►
next one you saw and then you let those
00:23:49
◼
►
people keep going you're spooning wire
00:23:51
◼
►
wrap it around everybody you see for an
00:23:54
◼
►
hour and you know your your kind of
00:23:57
◼
►
trying to make somewhat of a loop
00:23:59
◼
►
uh-huh you run back into the first
00:24:05
◼
►
wrap that copper wire around their
00:24:07
◼
►
button one more time you made a Tesla
00:24:09
◼
►
I you know Tesla was on my mind as you
00:24:11
◼
►
were saying that that's like Tesla's
00:24:13
◼
►
dream right there right and it is
00:24:15
◼
►
happening in LA right now always
00:24:18
◼
►
alternating but you know that energy
00:24:20
◼
►
just bits tears and rain it's not going
00:24:22
◼
►
no one's nose harnessing the energy of
00:24:24
◼
►
the man bun circle
00:24:25
◼
►
yeah and-and-and you and there are so
00:24:27
◼
►
many man button circles in India of
00:24:31
◼
►
different things
00:24:32
◼
►
yeah that people could be taking
00:24:33
◼
►
advantage of here and there not so many
00:24:36
◼
►
I mean obviously I've made a big I've
00:24:39
◼
►
made a big to-do about how California
00:24:41
◼
►
coffee culture drives me crazy
00:24:43
◼
►
who but there are so many other things
00:24:47
◼
►
to be to be insane about down here that
00:24:50
◼
►
I can't even worry about the coffee pot
00:24:52
◼
►
I went to a whole foods in California
00:24:56
◼
►
last night very very interesting
00:24:58
◼
►
experience there was a lot more shouting
00:25:00
◼
►
everyone's angry my experience at whole
00:25:03
◼
►
foods is that everybody is very angry
00:25:05
◼
►
and impatient
00:25:06
◼
►
yeah impatient angry there were some
00:25:08
◼
►
people walking around to just be
00:25:09
◼
►
shouting which seems normal but then
00:25:11
◼
►
there were other people that were
00:25:12
◼
►
shouting at others it was just a very
00:25:14
◼
►
tense situation I was like hey man we're
00:25:16
◼
►
all Richie this is water buddy
00:25:18
◼
►
yeah just chill chill chill the fuck out
00:25:20
◼
►
you're paying 1499 a pound for salad bar
00:25:25
◼
►
i put on my cal just like everybody else
00:25:27
◼
►
well why are you upset yeah nothing to
00:25:30
◼
►
be upset about using a hot party those
00:25:32
◼
►
just just sell you macaroni and cheese
00:25:34
◼
►
and a boxing take it home
00:25:35
◼
►
how could he be mad about that how could
00:25:37
◼
►
you be mad about that Jesus Christ a $25
00:25:40
◼
►
for macaroni and cheese have you ever
00:25:41
◼
►
done that you buy hot bar rather that'll
00:25:44
◼
►
put a dent your wall you get to nice
00:25:45
◼
►
slice of meatloaf and macaroni that's
00:25:47
◼
►
like 60 bucks yeah you know back in the
00:25:49
◼
►
touring days Mike Squires used to he
00:25:51
◼
►
went through a phase where he decided on
00:25:53
◼
►
tour he was only going to eat food that
00:25:56
◼
►
was from out from the hot case in in gas
00:26:00
◼
►
stations so we would drive and we pull
00:26:03
◼
►
into a gas me up that's it that's a such
00:26:08
◼
►
well this was it was my sister thought
00:26:09
◼
►
experiment yeah I was during Mike's you
00:26:11
◼
►
know period of like how much self-hate
00:26:13
◼
►
can I put into a basket up in mind that
00:26:16
◼
►
and so we pull into a gas station it's
00:26:19
◼
►
like you know everybody jumps out you
00:26:20
◼
►
can go get a bottle of water or you can
00:26:22
◼
►
go in the bathroom
00:26:23
◼
►
p get a coffee or whatever she could get
00:26:26
◼
►
you could get like what's that what's
00:26:28
◼
►
that awesome won the New York Times
00:26:29
◼
►
wrote about you go get that cheddar and
00:26:31
◼
►
sour cream ruffles which I've discovered
00:26:33
◼
►
are possibly the greatest food in the
00:26:35
◼
►
well I'm barfing at the thought shutter
00:26:38
◼
►
sour cream ruffle know he would go in
00:26:42
◼
►
against but there are known things you
00:26:44
◼
►
can get you do not need to explore the
00:26:46
◼
►
spinny meets he so obviously JoJo's
00:26:51
◼
►
jojo's are what time hot cases together
00:26:53
◼
►
and then you've got your community of
00:26:58
◼
►
jets it's just like everywhere is in
00:27:00
◼
►
every job is different don't think that
00:27:02
◼
►
it said that JoJo's are the same so just
00:27:05
◼
►
not ojos and then you've got your little
00:27:10
◼
►
like a in Toronto's or whatever they're
00:27:13
◼
►
not quite like it's not clear what what
00:27:15
◼
►
are their taquitos for legal reasons
00:27:18
◼
►
they have to call them like in Chile
00:27:20
◼
►
thus yeah so there's them and then
00:27:23
◼
►
there's egg rolls
00:27:24
◼
►
sometimes yeah right because it all goes
00:27:26
◼
►
in a hot case and a fried chicken
00:27:29
◼
►
sometimes you'll have just a like a
00:27:31
◼
►
German sausage and then all the things
00:27:34
◼
►
that get put into like a bread like a
00:27:37
◼
►
like deep-fried bond right sausage it
00:27:40
◼
►
deep fried sausage
00:27:41
◼
►
yeah and then the little hot wrapped
00:27:45
◼
►
sandwiches in tin foil chicken sandwich
00:27:47
◼
►
sausage sandwich
00:27:50
◼
►
translate sausage sandwich that fast
00:27:53
◼
►
that sandwich and completely awful
00:27:56
◼
►
that's that's that's making you think we
00:28:00
◼
►
just say it's fast and it's so Squires
00:28:04
◼
►
lived on on hot case for a while and it
00:28:07
◼
►
was like remember and the number but now
00:28:10
◼
►
they'll arrest of a supportive role is
00:28:12
◼
►
just like stop doing this
00:28:14
◼
►
I it was like that mcdonalds guy who ate
00:28:19
◼
►
McDonald's every day for a year except
00:28:20
◼
►
it happened way faster is all the color
00:28:23
◼
►
one of his face except for like red
00:28:27
◼
►
oh and he both gay
00:28:30
◼
►
in weight and also lost 100 right he was
00:28:35
◼
►
he was transforming for our eyes you
00:28:37
◼
►
came to smooth did it was a screw
00:28:39
◼
►
everybody was I don't think see you know
00:28:44
◼
►
one thing that we I think we talked
00:28:45
◼
►
about this we're having our we're
00:28:46
◼
►
Chinese lunch but I had this impression
00:28:48
◼
►
that especially when it comes to Asian
00:28:50
◼
►
foods that are served in America a lot
00:28:52
◼
►
of stuff that gets served as first of
00:28:54
◼
►
all yeah heavily americanized to our
00:28:56
◼
►
palates and tastes but also that it's
00:28:58
◼
►
the kind of food that you eat every five
00:29:00
◼
►
years at a wedding on like a tiny plate
00:29:02
◼
►
that you he would not have like all you
00:29:05
◼
►
can eat anything of like what gets
00:29:08
◼
►
served at those kinds of places
00:29:10
◼
►
yeah we yeah we did talk about that
00:29:11
◼
►
right now well my girlfriend who lived
00:29:14
◼
►
in China who was a vegetarian and she
00:29:17
◼
►
would go to these meals and they would
00:29:22
◼
►
serve like a big platter of you meet me
00:29:25
◼
►
parks or whatever and she would say you
00:29:27
◼
►
have any just like vegetables and rice
00:29:28
◼
►
it's kind of what i would prefer they're
00:29:30
◼
►
like what we would never serve an
00:29:33
◼
►
honored guest right the food that we eat
00:29:35
◼
►
every day it's against asleep on the dog
00:29:38
◼
►
yeah she's like no that's what i want
00:29:39
◼
►
just the food that you normally eat
00:29:41
◼
►
there like ha ha fat chance American
00:29:44
◼
►
yeah you're gonna get the we're you need
00:29:46
◼
►
our once-a-year meal and then you go to
00:29:49
◼
►
what I went to my favorite not favorite
00:29:52
◼
►
let's not call her favorite every
00:29:54
◼
►
Christmas Eve for the last dozen years
00:29:59
◼
►
my mom and I made a plan i made a made a
00:30:03
◼
►
pact a long time ago we were going to
00:30:04
◼
►
play Christmas anymore haha kinda like a
00:30:07
◼
►
family and we went to house of home my
00:30:10
◼
►
mom and I would go to house at home and
00:30:13
◼
►
then we would go to the movies like ten
00:30:17
◼
►
o'clock movie or something on Christmas
00:30:18
◼
►
Eve house of home we'd get some moment
00:30:21
◼
►
fried chicken or whatever you do and
00:30:23
◼
►
then go to the movies and your house a
00:30:25
◼
►
home on Christmas Eve you see all your
00:30:27
◼
►
Jewish friends
00:30:28
◼
►
right everybody everybody in Seattle
00:30:30
◼
►
that wasn't celebrating Christmases is
00:30:32
◼
►
in chinatown so it's a pretty fun time
00:30:35
◼
►
and and house of hong was the reliably
00:30:40
◼
►
bad chinese restaurant right it wasn't i
00:30:43
◼
►
do I know exactly what you mean
00:30:45
◼
►
yeah you wouldn't take your friends
00:30:47
◼
►
there if they were coming in from out of
00:30:48
◼
►
town you wouldn't go it's not a thing
00:30:50
◼
►
you go to on a regular it's just like we
00:30:53
◼
►
want almond fried chicken at
00:30:55
◼
►
eight-thirty p.m. on christmas eve
00:30:58
◼
►
there's no other place to go
00:31:00
◼
►
we went to a song the other night
00:31:02
◼
►
because it was my birthday and my sister
00:31:04
◼
►
want to meet wanted to take me to the
00:31:06
◼
►
House hall we went and it has changed
00:31:09
◼
►
hands over and everything about it is
00:31:13
◼
►
different and like that the old menu had
00:31:17
◼
►
400 things on and the new menu has 40
00:31:22
◼
►
things on and they came and they were
00:31:24
◼
►
all no good huh
00:31:27
◼
►
and you think that's disappointing I
00:31:29
◼
►
mean if they were it was always meant to
00:31:30
◼
►
be no good but their network in the
00:31:32
◼
►
passage of time by the little things
00:31:34
◼
►
that go away like that
00:31:35
◼
►
yeah like whatever you remember house of
00:31:37
◼
►
all remember all the Christmases weekend
00:31:38
◼
►
I was talking about this just this one
00:31:39
◼
►
let's take you up and talking about just
00:31:41
◼
►
this week where there's like all these
00:31:42
◼
►
restaurants that we used to go to on a
00:31:44
◼
►
regular basis that are just they're just
00:31:45
◼
►
gone and it's such a tiny thing but
00:31:47
◼
►
still I call me and i miss the hofbrau
00:31:49
◼
►
yeah sure i miss you know the little you
00:31:52
◼
►
know the little man's gone I told you
00:31:54
◼
►
no yes the dim sum is gone well i know
00:31:57
◼
►
we we walked by there are sure our
00:31:59
◼
►
crafts yeah now it's now it's like asian
00:32:02
◼
►
yeah we saw that go down and we were
00:32:04
◼
►
like hey I think we actually walked in
00:32:06
◼
►
and said when we did I forgot about you
00:32:08
◼
►
know what we were high on house Trotter
00:32:09
◼
►
yeah whatever little bit but having a
00:32:11
◼
►
little me they were like what happened
00:32:14
◼
►
to the cats in the kitchen good time
00:32:15
◼
►
time time to change
00:32:17
◼
►
get in the kitchen so what is there is
00:32:20
◼
►
the asian bistro now we wash our hands
00:32:22
◼
►
of a nice day
00:32:25
◼
►
corrects yeah I I'm stories etc tours
00:32:30
◼
►
etc hasn't been around for 25 years I
00:32:33
◼
►
still miss it
00:32:34
◼
►
little stories etc was was a was the the
00:32:38
◼
►
place that every single hipster on in in
00:32:41
◼
►
Seattle had bread
00:32:42
◼
►
first on saturday and sunday mornings
00:32:44
◼
►
there were very few hipsters then so
00:32:47
◼
►
they could all fit in one restaurant
00:32:48
◼
►
that's convenient but I had that I had
00:32:51
◼
►
that experience one time of walking down
00:32:54
◼
►
the street somebody that i vaguely knew
00:32:56
◼
►
bumped into me and said hey come and
00:32:58
◼
►
have breakfast with me at stories etc I
00:33:00
◼
►
was like sure didn't you know definitely
00:33:02
◼
►
know that person but have good feelings
00:33:04
◼
►
about that who went in and they were
00:33:07
◼
►
meeting two friends both of whom were
00:33:08
◼
►
like the very charming pretty young
00:33:11
◼
►
girls i was a young man at the time
00:33:13
◼
►
mocha we sat down at the table and I
00:33:17
◼
►
just had one of those magic mornings i
00:33:20
◼
►
was i was hungover right so I had that
00:33:24
◼
►
yeah that can sometimes be upon a person
00:33:26
◼
►
when they're hungover second loss a
00:33:29
◼
►
special extra drink because he get a
00:33:31
◼
►
certain kind of the department toward
00:33:34
◼
►
the world that can be that can be kind
00:33:35
◼
►
of nice can be kind of relaxing too kind
00:33:37
◼
►
of house you down a little bit and this
00:33:39
◼
►
was one of those mornings it was just
00:33:40
◼
►
like that that time when you walk into a
00:33:42
◼
►
bar and your pool game is just on top
00:33:46
◼
►
and you're just school and everybody in
00:33:48
◼
►
pool and you're chill about it and so
00:33:51
◼
►
everybody in the bar is just loving you
00:33:55
◼
►
by the end of the night because you
00:33:56
◼
►
can't miss but you get but you got
00:34:00
◼
►
nothing invested in it because you're
00:34:01
◼
►
like I've never seen this before but
00:34:03
◼
►
you're not but you don't give your
00:34:04
◼
►
secret away either who just like one
00:34:07
◼
►
play another game pow pow
00:34:09
◼
►
it only lasts the spell is very brief
00:34:12
◼
►
yes last for one night but this was one
00:34:14
◼
►
of those mornings where i sat at this
00:34:15
◼
►
table and I just I actually charmed the
00:34:19
◼
►
clothes off of all three of these people
00:34:21
◼
►
in the restaurant is it was JJ contends
00:34:24
◼
►
what's called it was a Tory zeg cetera
00:34:27
◼
►
ok alright and and by the end it was
00:34:30
◼
►
clear that I could take these three
00:34:32
◼
►
people anywhere and have them do
00:34:33
◼
►
anything and instead i stood up at the
00:34:38
◼
►
end of a lovely meal and said this has
00:34:41
◼
►
been lovely to loo before and they said
00:34:45
◼
►
wait wait don't go
00:34:47
◼
►
and I was like I must do I must turn on
00:34:50
◼
►
boom and endo and waltz away and I
00:34:55
◼
►
always thought back to how my life would
00:34:59
◼
►
have gone differently if I had just
00:35:00
◼
►
either taken them sliding doors were
00:35:03
◼
►
gone with them yes and instead it was
00:35:05
◼
►
just like this has been perfect
00:35:07
◼
►
I do not want you to know that I'm not
00:35:09
◼
►
this perfect all the time right and so
00:35:12
◼
►
before I say the dumb thing that I
00:35:16
◼
►
surely am about to say before I ruin
00:35:19
◼
►
this before my hangover wears off and
00:35:22
◼
►
all of a sudden I'm talking to you about
00:35:23
◼
►
a world war 1 i'm going to float off and
00:35:29
◼
►
you will always hopefully look at the
00:35:33
◼
►
drinking fountain and remember me
00:35:35
◼
►
I still do that you still remember my
00:35:37
◼
►
friend explore Kelly I'm gonna start
00:35:39
◼
►
doing that other people because it
00:35:40
◼
►
totally works
00:35:41
◼
►
yeah it does it's crazy oh my goodness
00:35:42
◼
►
but you're like--you're ultraman except
00:35:44
◼
►
they can't see your bling chest and you
00:35:46
◼
►
know the clock is running
00:35:47
◼
►
you gotta go because he may be a little
00:35:48
◼
►
bit george costanza but you know that's
00:35:50
◼
►
it you've done the best you can it's all
00:35:52
◼
►
gonna be downhill from here
00:35:54
◼
►
get out yeah that's right anything as if
00:35:57
◼
►
I keep talking i I'm gonna lose my cool
00:36:01
◼
►
right if I keep talking eventually
00:36:03
◼
►
you're going to look up at the cool
00:36:05
◼
►
barometer and the winds will have
00:36:06
◼
►
changing up and the and a new and
00:36:09
◼
►
depression will have moved in
00:36:11
◼
►
uh-huh and you're like wool my joints
00:36:13
◼
►
hurt all of a sudden and it's because
00:36:15
◼
►
this guy that I thought was amazing has
00:36:16
◼
►
been talking about the battle of the
00:36:18
◼
►
somme the thing though a lot of
00:36:21
◼
►
civilians might understand if you've
00:36:23
◼
►
never been charming in a restaurant is
00:36:25
◼
►
that once you've set that high bar it's
00:36:28
◼
►
extremely disappointed people when you
00:36:31
◼
►
fall off because didn't actually hate
00:36:33
◼
►
it isn't that they go back to neutral
00:36:34
◼
►
feeling it they really hate you after
00:36:35
◼
►
that I think I i'm pretty sure i've told
00:36:38
◼
►
you the story about a the time another
00:36:41
◼
►
charm night when i was walking along
00:36:42
◼
►
with some friends and for some reason i
00:36:45
◼
►
was in a suit my friends weren't and
00:36:48
◼
►
there was an up pizza parlor that was
00:36:51
◼
►
also an art gallery and it was closed
00:36:54
◼
►
but the lights were on and music was
00:36:56
◼
►
playing and we walked by and sort of
00:36:59
◼
►
just walked in Walt's to and there were
00:37:03
◼
►
half a dozen girls in there who worked
00:37:07
◼
►
at the pizza parlor was just kind of
00:37:09
◼
►
playing some music having a in wiping
00:37:12
◼
►
down tables or whatever and we came in
00:37:15
◼
►
and and they said we're closed and we
00:37:20
◼
►
were like yeah we know we just heard the
00:37:22
◼
►
music and thought we'd pop in and they
00:37:24
◼
►
were like oh and somehow right away we
00:37:28
◼
►
were all dancing
00:37:29
◼
►
Wow and this is like a this is like a
00:37:33
◼
►
nineties film
00:37:34
◼
►
yeah it was like instant dance party and
00:37:38
◼
►
we're dancing and the girls are dancing
00:37:40
◼
►
we are dancing all you know and spray it
00:37:42
◼
►
with some music that I would never ever
00:37:44
◼
►
ever have danced to it like mo beers and
00:37:48
◼
►
one of the girls is someone that I had
00:37:51
◼
►
seen for years and been intrigued by in
00:37:55
◼
►
the neighborhood on come on really
00:37:57
◼
►
yeah she played bass in a band she had
00:37:59
◼
►
her hair her hair was like wild and
00:38:02
◼
►
tangled and teased up kinda but not
00:38:03
◼
►
teased up uh what he teased up in a way
00:38:08
◼
►
that gave the impression that she never
00:38:09
◼
►
called it not that she had ever worked
00:38:11
◼
►
on it for a second man she looked like a
00:38:13
◼
►
lori petty oh except with big hair
00:38:18
◼
►
chimney and we're dancing and dancing
00:38:21
◼
►
and and like I'm in a suit up like a
00:38:24
◼
►
pinstripe suit but I've got like group
00:38:26
◼
►
crazy dance moves i'm back in that ass
00:38:28
◼
►
up right and left the music's loud and
00:38:33
◼
►
my friends are doing it to my friends
00:38:35
◼
►
are into it too and my friends are you
00:38:36
◼
►
know my friends normally are like we can
00:38:38
◼
►
all agree on cheese or whatever they're
00:38:40
◼
►
not like dance speed that this
00:38:41
◼
►
spontaneous dance party with some girls
00:38:43
◼
►
that work in the punk-rock pizza place
00:38:45
◼
►
ok so the whole thing's going like what
00:38:47
◼
►
is happening nobody can nobody in the
00:38:49
◼
►
room knows what the hell is happening
00:38:50
◼
►
and the and the girl the amazing girl is
00:38:56
◼
►
now dancing where she's like she's
00:38:59
◼
►
dancing with me right she separated me
00:39:02
◼
►
from the herd a little bit oh man she's
00:39:04
◼
►
like cleared out the space around us so
00:39:06
◼
►
we're not it's not just like seven
00:39:08
◼
►
people dancing with each other it's like
00:39:10
◼
►
now we're dancing and at a certain point
00:39:13
◼
►
and I'm just like dancing and she's
00:39:15
◼
►
dancing and she leans in and she goes
00:39:18
◼
►
who are you and you ready are you ready
00:39:26
◼
►
for this yeah very comfortable mean like
00:39:29
◼
►
up till now this is this is unheard of
00:39:31
◼
►
everything everything's coming up
00:39:33
◼
►
Roderick she says she says who are you
00:39:37
◼
►
like whispers over the loud music in
00:39:40
◼
►
over my in my ear
00:39:42
◼
►
who are you and I go like sort of like
00:39:53
◼
►
super chill face I shrug and go about
00:40:04
◼
►
i'm about to say I don't you know I
00:40:09
◼
►
don't know myself I don't know myself
00:40:11
◼
►
Who I am and she she like steps back
00:40:16
◼
►
waiting for the answer to her question
00:40:18
◼
►
she sees me prepare to say i don't i
00:40:22
◼
►
don't even know I don't know what who am
00:40:24
◼
►
i and she and her face falls oh and
00:40:29
◼
►
before I say it she goes she mouths to
00:40:34
◼
►
me like with a super contemptuous face
00:40:38
◼
►
like oh I don't even know right
00:40:42
◼
►
uh-uh that's your that's your deep bro
00:40:45
◼
►
answer that's your like and I was just
00:40:50
◼
►
like dead to rights right i mean my
00:40:53
◼
►
pants basically fell to the floor
00:40:56
◼
►
the spell was broke and make the magic
00:41:00
◼
►
just fell off the suit
00:41:01
◼
►
yeah because she deposits fucked up
00:41:04
◼
►
because you paused she looked and she
00:41:06
◼
►
looked at me when I'm pausing she could
00:41:08
◼
►
easily suss out the the of all the array
00:41:11
◼
►
of things that you could say you were
00:41:14
◼
►
going to say something really dumb and
00:41:15
◼
►
she figured out before you said it
00:41:17
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yeah and-and-and she could see as that
00:41:20
◼
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corny reply formed on my lips that I was
00:41:24
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not the person that she thought I was
00:41:27
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then you turn into a pumpkin
00:41:29
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yeah i waltzed into this pizza parlor
00:41:31
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started a dance party in the three-piece
00:41:36
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suit was an excellent dancer and like a
00:41:40
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and just like a fucking sorcerer but in
00:41:44
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my corn in that in in that one little
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i'm john what's your name and fucking
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the great shows your world
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her hair is still be wild like turning
00:44:55
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turning a little gray yeah it's fucking
00:44:57
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tanked role and and and they're having a
00:45:00
◼
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dance party a pizza parlor dance party
00:45:02
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on a group around the world
00:45:03
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oh she's got a little bit she looks like
00:45:05
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►
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00:45:10
◼
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yeah and but but in that moment the what
00:45:13
◼
►
it was was my insecurities was revealed
00:45:15
◼
►
that that this was a night where I was
00:45:17
◼
►
playing a super cool game of pool but i
00:45:20
◼
►
didn't actually I was not actually that
00:45:23
◼
►
cool because of because i was a
00:45:26
◼
►
co-parent corny
00:45:28
◼
►
uh-huh and look this
00:45:32
◼
►
that's like me at the bachelor party I
00:45:35
◼
►
think about that
00:45:36
◼
►
yeah well yeah well shit that happened I
00:45:39
◼
►
mean I'm still drinking right that
00:45:40
◼
►
happenin man you still remember what
00:45:42
◼
►
that message is not part of your curses
00:45:44
◼
►
in that part of your Sisyphean curses is
00:45:46
◼
►
you have a pretty good memory for even
00:45:48
◼
►
stuff you did when you were pretty drunk
00:45:51
◼
►
when I was drinking I never blacked out
00:45:53
◼
►
I never blacked out and I very seldom
00:45:57
◼
►
vomited I that was part of the part of
00:46:02
◼
►
you know every every alcoholic is
00:46:05
◼
►
different right and I was one of those i
00:46:07
◼
►
was a battleship you can put all the
00:46:10
◼
►
booze in me and I would just keep like I
00:46:13
◼
►
was a I was a d-9 caterpillar like I
00:46:15
◼
►
would just gurgurk and never blackout
00:46:20
◼
►
never forget a thing so I saw although i
00:46:23
◼
►
was i was at every horrible bachelor
00:46:25
◼
►
party where everybody was a bachelor
00:46:28
◼
►
right there was no one was getting
00:46:29
◼
►
married anywhere i was just awful times
00:46:31
◼
►
and and all the blood the the
00:46:35
◼
►
blessedness that is that that quality
00:46:40
◼
►
and most people where they wake up the
00:46:42
◼
►
next morning they're like would happened
00:46:43
◼
►
last night I was like I'll tell you what
00:46:46
◼
►
happened what's in here all morning
00:46:49
◼
►
thinking about it is a fucking bloodbath
00:46:50
◼
►
happened like I never went to sleep
00:46:54
◼
►
because I'm just sitting here but
00:46:55
◼
►
replaying the whole it's a nice feeling
00:46:57
◼
►
and and there's a lot of that stuff is
00:47:00
◼
►
still with me right i mean i remember i
00:47:03
◼
►
laid down in an alley one time because i
00:47:07
◼
►
couldn't walk any further and I was like
00:47:10
◼
►
this is a knife
00:47:11
◼
►
Ali is probably no cars are coming down
00:47:14
◼
►
here on little sleep a little bit little
00:47:17
◼
►
sleepies little sleepers and I laid down
00:47:22
◼
►
in the corner of this alley which was
00:47:23
◼
►
absolutely full of rats it like we're
00:47:27
◼
►
like I found the probably found the
00:47:29
◼
►
place where people pissed the most often
00:47:33
◼
►
for the last hundred and twenty years
00:47:34
◼
►
curled up there but in my moment was
00:47:38
◼
►
aware enough that i took my glasses off
00:47:41
◼
►
and folded them and put them on my night
00:47:45
◼
►
table which was a pile of garbage and
00:47:50
◼
►
when I woke up an hour or two later
00:47:54
◼
►
now it because in the middle of the day
00:47:56
◼
►
this isn't this isn't like it two in the
00:47:59
◼
►
two in the morning
00:48:00
◼
►
this is two in the afternoon
00:48:02
◼
►
wake up in this hot garbage strewn
00:48:05
◼
►
piston Ali's I'm like yeah it was
00:48:08
◼
►
refreshing sleep
00:48:10
◼
►
do-do-do-do-do birthday purchasing at ya
00:48:19
◼
►
still she absolutely shitfaced I stand
00:48:23
◼
►
up and off I go down the street drip
00:48:27
◼
►
interpreter but i forgot my glasses are
00:48:30
◼
►
still on your nightstand so my
00:48:33
◼
►
my vision is blurred enough already that
00:48:35
◼
►
I that it's not like whoa I can't see
00:48:37
◼
►
I'm just like we were purple and I gets
00:48:42
◼
►
wherever somewhere the next place and I
00:48:46
◼
►
go wash at my glasses and we're going up
00:48:51
◼
►
turn around pick our perp corporate lurp
00:48:55
◼
►
back to the alley classes are gone now
00:48:58
◼
►
no one uses who steals a pair of garbage
00:49:02
◼
►
class and these were glasses that I had
00:49:04
◼
►
made because a friend of mine worked as
00:49:07
◼
►
a like an orderly at the hospital and
00:49:10
◼
►
they and he came home and he was like
00:49:11
◼
►
there's a program at the hospital at
00:49:14
◼
►
where they make glasses free for poor
00:49:16
◼
►
people and I was like that's me and so I
00:49:20
◼
►
had I went because I didn't have glasses
00:49:21
◼
►
at the time and then went and had my
00:49:23
◼
►
glasses made and they were amazing
00:49:24
◼
►
because this was an era where I think
00:49:27
◼
►
you remember this time sometime in the
00:49:30
◼
►
nineties where all of the shop classes
00:49:34
◼
►
and like government-issue glasses that
00:49:39
◼
►
they made in the in proliferation back
00:49:42
◼
►
in 1961 they were all just like 25 cents
00:49:46
◼
►
apiece and this government program to
00:49:49
◼
►
make glasses for people had the these
00:49:52
◼
►
incredible fifties style like black on
00:49:55
◼
►
top clear on the bottom
00:49:56
◼
►
all right out like a style that would
00:49:58
◼
►
become it's almost like that with the
00:50:00
◼
►
column in in England NIH classes
00:50:04
◼
►
yeah then became kind of fashionable
00:50:05
◼
►
like Morrissey glasses that's right yeah
00:50:07
◼
►
and it was a pain where those you know
00:50:10
◼
►
those glasses were fashionable because
00:50:12
◼
►
they were they were cheap but you know
00:50:15
◼
►
free but I lost that pair of glasses and
00:50:19
◼
►
who would pick up that would pick up a
00:50:21
◼
►
pair of glasses from that fucking pistol
00:50:23
◼
►
i don't know probably somebody else they
00:50:26
◼
►
stopped by to sleep there or maybe it
00:50:29
◼
►
was the little bird maybe it was the
00:50:31
◼
►
song is somebody else's bed and that was
00:50:32
◼
►
their nightstand
00:50:33
◼
►
yeah that could be with all these
00:50:35
◼
►
glasses doing on my nightstand
00:50:37
◼
►
that's my pilot these will do but that's
00:50:40
◼
►
simply click but like that scene in the
00:50:43
◼
►
new adventures in babysitting
00:50:45
◼
►
oh where the girl takes her glasses off
00:50:47
◼
►
and then the little homeless lady comes
00:50:48
◼
►
by and put someone is like I can see and
00:50:50
◼
►
walks off and then the girl can't then
00:50:54
◼
►
she can't really do remember every she's
00:50:56
◼
►
stuck in the bus station
00:50:57
◼
►
no offense to babysit that sounds like a
00:51:00
◼
►
big part of the adventure it well but
00:51:01
◼
►
it's but she's just a like a she's a
00:51:05
◼
►
tertiary character i sees the one that's
00:51:08
◼
►
like in she's she's the emergency
00:51:11
◼
►
meeting that causes the babysitter to
00:51:15
◼
►
take the kids into chicago I'll see I
00:51:18
◼
►
don't know this story so she's the
00:51:20
◼
►
MacGuffin she's the MacGuffin so they
00:51:22
◼
►
have to have to leave have to leave the
00:51:25
◼
►
comfort of their suburban like John
00:51:28
◼
►
Hughes neighborhood huh
00:51:31
◼
►
and she has to take these three
00:51:32
◼
►
irascible kids
00:51:34
◼
►
oh one of them the oldest the little boy
00:51:37
◼
►
is younger enough than her that he needs
00:51:40
◼
►
a babysitter
00:51:41
◼
►
yeah he's old enough to be in love with
00:51:43
◼
►
her I know that one and then the little
00:51:46
◼
►
the little girl is a she's you know not
00:51:50
◼
►
very old six or something seven but
00:51:53
◼
►
she's in love with four but the
00:51:55
◼
►
comic-book care who and so she spends
00:51:57
◼
►
the whole movie in love with or until
00:51:59
◼
►
she finally meets Thor in the in the
00:52:03
◼
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person of a auto mechanic in like the
00:52:08
◼
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grittiest downtown chicago for played by
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wait for a tow
00:52:16
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so who is the actor that you least would
00:52:24
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00:52:26
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◼
►
mattress like a gentleman you're gonna
00:54:49
◼
►
save fifty dollars Casper just forget it
00:54:53
◼
►
our thanks to you guys for all the great
00:54:55
◼
►
night sleep and first morning
00:54:57
◼
►
rock on the line follows fast so fast
00:55:00
◼
►
know it everyone cool huh they're gonna
00:55:05
◼
►
get somebody from a scar when death is
00:55:08
◼
►
haha no its it again didn't I can't
00:55:16
◼
►
he'd still be super strong baby fucking
00:55:18
◼
►
Wallace Shawn I'm the great i would
00:55:21
◼
►
watch I would so like the Avengers with
00:55:22
◼
►
Wallace Shawn nest or wash on his store
00:55:25
◼
►
but Yuma character of of bump my my
00:55:31
◼
►
dinner with Andre yeah exactly
00:55:33
◼
►
ok so I'll try to be more realistic this
00:55:35
◼
►
is a movie it's made with the early
00:55:36
◼
►
nineties probably know it ladies but
00:55:38
◼
►
somebody you least expect it is an actor
00:55:42
◼
►
yes okay uh you know I i can guess I'm
00:55:48
◼
►
just gonna jump right in
00:55:49
◼
►
go Vincent D'Onofrio it's D'Onofrio huh
00:55:55
◼
►
it's an interesting career okay now I'll
00:55:58
◼
►
let myself look it up and operate at
00:56:00
◼
►
that very same moment was also playing
00:56:02
◼
►
the guy in Full Metal Jacket who was
00:56:05
◼
►
born again hard
00:56:06
◼
►
Laurel and Hardy had already been the
00:56:08
◼
►
bodyguard wasn't ours at the other guy
00:56:11
◼
►
that's the other guy that's the
00:56:12
◼
►
gamergate guy he was investing our free
00:56:15
◼
►
oh yes he was born again hard ones even
00:56:17
◼
►
before that he was in know he was in was
00:56:19
◼
►
he in them busy men in black was later
00:56:21
◼
►
using men in black with that was later
00:56:22
◼
►
but so you lose them to confuse out in
00:56:25
◼
►
baldwin and mrs. off you know what kind
00:56:28
◼
►
of ball one has that ball Adam Baldwin
00:56:31
◼
►
is like some kind of distillation of
00:56:33
◼
►
baldwin ism down to all the thinking
00:56:37
◼
►
yeah like it's all this stuff about ball
00:56:39
◼
►
one bald ones all the Baldwin ask
00:56:42
◼
►
characteristics but I don't like like I
00:56:46
◼
►
like Alec Baldwin despite all the
00:56:48
◼
►
reasons not to like oh gosh yeah i mean
00:56:50
◼
►
he's one of those he's an American
00:56:53
◼
►
yeah that's right but like all the other
00:56:55
◼
►
bald ones remember when the Baldwin's
00:56:57
◼
►
were a thing like all the balls are huge
00:56:59
◼
►
people talked about the Baldwin's as if
00:57:01
◼
►
it was a good thing that matter they
00:57:02
◼
►
were the lots of the nineties full metal
00:57:05
◼
►
jacket and adventures in babysitting
00:57:06
◼
►
both came out in 1987 is in the ya
00:57:10
◼
►
episode of the equal at two episodes of
00:57:12
◼
►
the equalizer has two different people
00:57:13
◼
►
using mystic pizza
00:57:16
◼
►
this is when he was still Vincent Philip
00:57:17
◼
►
D'Onofrio who and then what I next know
00:57:20
◼
►
him and he's in JFK I don't remember
00:57:22
◼
►
that he's in the player i don't remember
00:57:23
◼
►
that but if you look at him I remember
00:57:26
◼
►
him being Orson Welles in Deadwood if
00:57:28
◼
►
you look at a picture of him as for
00:57:30
◼
►
adventures in babysitting right and then
00:57:33
◼
►
you look at a picture of him as the
00:57:35
◼
►
board again hard character same same
00:57:39
◼
►
you realize that Vincent D'Onofrio is
00:57:41
◼
►
greatest American huh
00:57:43
◼
►
oh my goodness look at oh my goodness
00:57:47
◼
►
look at him and then and then he ends up
00:57:52
◼
►
but you know a like new brunswick or
00:57:55
◼
►
whatever the rights on the show we tilt
00:57:56
◼
►
his head a lot but there is thats is
00:57:59
◼
►
that's that that's where he got his
00:58:00
◼
►
start as he's wearing a blue like
00:58:03
◼
►
undershirt and he's got long uh like
00:58:05
◼
►
very blond hair and a red baseball cap
00:58:08
◼
►
baseball cap and he comes down out of
00:58:09
◼
►
some smokies guy he's carrying a big
00:58:11
◼
►
hammer little girl is like it's Thor in
00:58:16
◼
►
he's actually kind of mean who and that
00:58:19
◼
►
thought I mean to your door is very
00:58:21
◼
►
conceited that's how he ran into
00:58:23
◼
►
Oh see I didn't know enough about for ya
00:58:26
◼
►
when i watched adventures in babysitting
00:58:28
◼
►
together now it makes sense that thought
00:58:30
◼
►
when we watch The Avengers my wife
00:58:32
◼
►
turned to me and said stories basically
00:58:33
◼
►
every guy i tried to avoid at parties at
00:58:36
◼
►
santa cruz oh sure you know and so the
00:58:39
◼
►
drama thora story is very conceited he
00:58:41
◼
►
felt pretty positive that he was going
00:58:43
◼
►
to be the heir apparent to Odin and then
00:58:45
◼
►
he got really conceited and that's when
00:58:47
◼
►
he took away my owner and he said he
00:58:48
◼
►
said you can have your stripping of your
00:58:50
◼
►
powers I'm gonna go to earth and you're
00:58:52
◼
►
going to be you're going to be a
00:58:53
◼
►
slightly disabled doctor he was a doctor
00:58:55
◼
►
that which is nice
00:58:56
◼
►
uh but he's he's stripped of his power
00:58:59
◼
►
instead of his powers he has to earth
00:59:00
◼
►
then he has he figured something out
00:59:02
◼
►
something something he redeemed himself
00:59:03
◼
►
he continues to be a doctor he's got it
00:59:05
◼
►
he's got a can be
00:59:06
◼
►
as he has a walking problem when he
00:59:07
◼
►
smashes his cane really hard on the
00:59:09
◼
►
ground it turns into mill near any meat
00:59:10
◼
►
come store i see that's what we used to
00:59:13
◼
►
do more transformation of the
00:59:14
◼
►
superheroes and Mueller is the hammer
00:59:16
◼
►
mia yah mule near member Mia and Loki is
00:59:20
◼
►
his brother who is also bad
00:59:22
◼
►
oh yeah he's really bad news no see he's
00:59:24
◼
►
the problem the thing is Thor is a dick
00:59:27
◼
►
but look he is perfidious he's disloyal
00:59:29
◼
►
affinity is the worst kind of bad it's
00:59:32
◼
►
the worst kind of disloyalty for sure
00:59:34
◼
►
and so he's he and that's the reason the
00:59:36
◼
►
Avengers were formed fiscal okie who has
00:59:39
◼
►
these be basically is he's escaped from
00:59:41
◼
►
his mental jail that he was put in he
00:59:43
◼
►
goes to earth and he makes it look like
00:59:47
◼
►
a train is going off the tracks he gets
00:59:50
◼
►
into a Bruce banners head and so hawk
00:59:54
◼
►
goes to try and save the train but it
00:59:56
◼
►
looks like he's attacking the train
00:59:57
◼
►
doors are formed in the
00:59:57
◼
►
doors are formed in the
01:00:00
◼
►
circa nineteen sixty-one the Avengers
01:00:01
◼
►
are formed to go after Hulk because he's
01:00:04
◼
►
a bad guy so they bring a man because
01:00:06
◼
►
he's a guy who can send his hands all
01:00:07
◼
►
over the world to find Marcus you know
01:00:09
◼
►
I'm fighting hands right now California
01:00:11
◼
►
oh my goodness you know my sugar ants
01:00:13
◼
►
your you know my experience with north
01:00:14
◼
►
northwest and yes and spiders
01:00:18
◼
►
I am Legend in in the northwest as like
01:00:20
◼
►
a holocaust her but here
01:00:23
◼
►
yeah they're going to sink hole we ship
01:00:26
◼
►
the ends in Southern California do not
01:00:29
◼
►
yeah when they come upon one of our
01:00:32
◼
►
waiters while they're looking for work
01:00:33
◼
►
well that's the thing that most
01:00:34
◼
►
beautiful and I ever saw them but ma ma
01:00:37
◼
►
maybe art they're the most here's what
01:00:40
◼
►
it is they were the most talented and in
01:00:42
◼
►
their own communities sure like the best
01:00:45
◼
►
entertainment began a small pond
01:00:47
◼
►
I'm looking out the window to people
01:00:48
◼
►
with buttons went by oh I've got my
01:00:51
◼
►
spool here but I can't get out there you
01:00:54
◼
►
know that they could take it probably
01:00:56
◼
►
they could probably power and iphone for
01:00:58
◼
►
a couple hours of those buns but they're
01:00:59
◼
►
not there is walking around but that's
01:01:01
◼
►
if you don't think about that if you and
01:01:03
◼
►
your significant other both have top
01:01:05
◼
►
buttons who how
01:01:09
◼
►
why wouldn't you tie them together once
01:01:11
◼
►
positive one is negative right why
01:01:13
◼
►
wouldn't you just run a little spool
01:01:14
◼
►
even if it wasn't metal wire what if it
01:01:16
◼
►
was just ribbin people already share
01:01:18
◼
►
headphones John you're going public
01:01:20
◼
►
transit and there's a couple Chinese
01:01:22
◼
►
kids sharing and sharing their ipod same
01:01:24
◼
►
deal here that wire could be i think
01:01:26
◼
►
it's in an electrical transducer or
01:01:28
◼
►
modem and that would be used for to one
01:01:31
◼
►
of these positive one of these negative
01:01:33
◼
►
and then that would generate enough
01:01:34
◼
►
power for the ipod with some leftover
01:01:36
◼
►
for the grid if you saw two people
01:01:38
◼
►
walking on the beach in Venice
01:01:39
◼
►
California they both had burns and they
01:01:41
◼
►
were both flying kites from their buns
01:01:43
◼
►
ok how would that make you feel because
01:01:47
◼
►
it would fill me with joy i would say
01:01:49
◼
►
here are some people here are some
01:01:51
◼
►
millennium not SS SS me up for a minute
01:01:53
◼
►
40 unit because the kite would be
01:01:56
◼
►
pulling the bun up i have been a speech
01:02:00
◼
►
oh well it's it's a it's it's it's
01:02:07
◼
►
it's a willful unusualness oh yeah yeah
01:02:12
◼
►
there's a lot of that but you're gonna
01:02:13
◼
►
find that in ann arbor 24 or all the
01:02:17
◼
►
other are but you gotta wear more layers
01:02:19
◼
►
their true true but like the willful I
01:02:22
◼
►
mean the thing about Venice i think is
01:02:24
◼
►
like the there the the the kumquats are
01:02:30
◼
►
thick on the ground here who you know
01:02:33
◼
►
what I mean like you don't have it do
01:02:35
◼
►
you remember when being a wastoid
01:02:39
◼
►
burnout seemed like it was a valid job
01:02:45
◼
►
yes right and that 1982 remember 1982 it
01:02:49
◼
►
was it was something to aspire to and
01:02:51
◼
►
you know we talked about the the origins
01:02:53
◼
►
of various kinds of Valley speak and
01:02:54
◼
►
serve talk i mean that that was some of
01:02:57
◼
►
that has antecedents in well in our
01:02:59
◼
►
group that kind of Lodi's but you can
01:03:01
◼
►
take burnouts I don't know where that
01:03:02
◼
►
came from Lotus but i guess because they
01:03:04
◼
►
got loaded but you get that you get the
01:03:05
◼
►
Judas Priest drawn your folder easily
01:03:08
◼
►
got a flannel shirt you fall asleep in
01:03:10
◼
►
you're always in the smoking area
01:03:11
◼
►
because yes high schools you have
01:03:12
◼
►
smoking areas
01:03:13
◼
►
yes and and not in your date will regard
01:03:16
◼
►
except you're not canadian women
01:03:18
◼
►
yeah when Gardner to canadian first of
01:03:20
◼
►
all and also like to whatever it like
01:03:23
◼
►
beckham hashers is that we call it up
01:03:24
◼
►
there commissures is that is that a is
01:03:26
◼
►
that considered a slider a slur sure I
01:03:29
◼
►
feel like hasher came later in Anchorage
01:03:32
◼
►
we call them stalkers stoners ok and
01:03:35
◼
►
stoner was a blanket term for any kind
01:03:38
◼
►
of sort of burner you know anybody that
01:03:42
◼
►
was anybody that was because a stoner
01:03:46
◼
►
would look at you and I'm not talking
01:03:47
◼
►
about like a like a sixty-five-year-old
01:03:49
◼
►
burnout stoner that's what they were
01:03:51
◼
►
that's what they aspire to but when
01:03:52
◼
►
you're 18 year old stoner yeah he's not
01:03:55
◼
►
really fighting
01:03:56
◼
►
I mean you gotta really to get kill
01:03:58
◼
►
those brain cells permanently you're
01:03:59
◼
►
gonna have to really stick with it and
01:04:01
◼
►
there was a there was a tremendous
01:04:02
◼
►
element of defiance right the stoners
01:04:06
◼
►
would look at you and say I choose
01:04:09
◼
►
nothingness right like I am
01:04:12
◼
►
this is a valid life choice mmm i am I
01:04:16
◼
►
do not care about your bullshit these
01:04:18
◼
►
men are nihilist honey trap right now
01:04:22
◼
►
and there's a transient me what's in the
01:04:25
◼
►
mm no no that was ever to Russell it's
01:04:27
◼
►
totally true and it was a life choice
01:04:29
◼
►
and it was it a contrary to what
01:04:32
◼
►
appeared to be it was not simply a
01:04:34
◼
►
reaction to straight culture it was seen
01:04:36
◼
►
as an affirmative stance
01:04:38
◼
►
mm and that i remember very distinctly
01:04:41
◼
►
mean we've all stood at the crossroads
01:04:45
◼
►
who and we've all looked down one as far
01:04:49
◼
►
as we couldn't tell where penned into
01:04:51
◼
►
the undergrowth who but there was a
01:04:54
◼
►
moment right where you're where you're
01:04:56
◼
►
thinking like Spicoli is the coolest
01:04:58
◼
►
character and fast times at ridgemont
01:05:00
◼
►
high perhaps that coolness is also
01:05:03
◼
►
available to me but Spicoli has made a
01:05:07
◼
►
life choice Spicoli is on a path Spicoli
01:05:11
◼
►
his reproach model with mr. hand over
01:05:14
◼
►
the end of the film does not mean that
01:05:16
◼
►
mr. hand has converted Spicoli to caring
01:05:19
◼
►
about the identity that would be a
01:05:21
◼
►
different film so different film i mean
01:05:24
◼
►
if the fact that mr. hand comes to his
01:05:25
◼
►
house in the way that he does and that's
01:05:27
◼
►
a wonderful turn but also the fact that
01:05:30
◼
►
you know they don't end up jumping into
01:05:31
◼
►
a pool together I like that a lot
01:05:33
◼
►
well and who is more changed quickly or
01:05:36
◼
►
mr. hand you know I never have thought
01:05:38
◼
►
about along you know what I mean like I
01:05:39
◼
►
feel like being around my time now is
01:05:41
◼
►
the one that's right mr. hand has as a
01:05:44
◼
►
as as izzy is is changed and evolved by
01:05:47
◼
►
the end of that but so I'm walking down
01:05:50
◼
►
venice beach and i'm looking around and
01:05:52
◼
►
i have this like wow this is there are
01:05:58
◼
►
stoner burnouts here that are from my
01:06:02
◼
►
time there are people here who who came
01:06:06
◼
►
to that Spicoli crossroads and they took
01:06:10
◼
►
the other as just as fair m and here
01:06:13
◼
►
this resonates I just sit there and
01:06:15
◼
►
smoke a doobie the crossroads something
01:06:17
◼
►
they came into the crossroads who they
01:06:19
◼
►
try to hitch a ride huh
01:06:21
◼
►
and they saw the devil and they said
01:06:23
◼
►
take me to the other side plank and dust
01:06:26
◼
►
my broom and so they're they're they're
01:06:29
◼
►
sitting around there walking around
01:06:32
◼
►
their fucking riding a unicycle and it's
01:06:35
◼
►
not just the guy that looks like Jimi
01:06:36
◼
►
Hendrix on roller skates and it's not
01:06:39
◼
►
like i sat down there the other day and
01:06:41
◼
►
there were maybe ten black guys about my
01:06:45
◼
►
age sitting around on the stone the
01:06:47
◼
►
stands around the basketball court and
01:06:49
◼
►
they were arguing loud about basketball
01:06:54
◼
►
teams from the eighties john who was the
01:06:57
◼
►
yeah and I knew all I knew everything I
01:07:00
◼
►
knew every name that they were saying
01:07:02
◼
►
and they were really up in each others
01:07:04
◼
►
face about it like you know what your
01:07:07
◼
►
guests and surprises the first time this
01:07:08
◼
►
has come up this is like your old all
01:07:10
◼
►
guys sitting on a stupid Turkey
01:07:11
◼
►
yeah this these guys I think probably
01:07:14
◼
►
have a version of this argument every
01:07:17
◼
►
yeah and part of the loudness of it is
01:07:19
◼
►
that it is a performance their conscious
01:07:22
◼
►
of being we are the Venice Beach
01:07:24
◼
►
middle-aged guys that sit around the
01:07:27
◼
►
basketball court and what we do is argue
01:07:31
◼
►
loudly about things from our childhood
01:07:35
◼
►
or whatever like Iverson you know
01:07:37
◼
►
they're just like screaming at each
01:07:39
◼
►
other the Celtic Celtics were the you
01:07:42
◼
►
know chelton melting
01:07:43
◼
►
I don't know my friend right now people
01:07:47
◼
►
think it's like like Apache Esperanto
01:07:49
◼
►
fortran any other languages is something
01:07:52
◼
►
are they teaching its young people are
01:07:53
◼
►
they bringing in are they bring in new
01:07:55
◼
►
people out work you have to be of the
01:07:57
◼
►
vintage to argue about Larry Bird yeah
01:08:00
◼
►
you have to care because young people
01:08:01
◼
►
just roll their eyes at him because
01:08:03
◼
►
there's been four or five complete
01:08:06
◼
►
iterations of like basketball culture
01:08:10
◼
►
since the since Michael Jordan like an
01:08:13
◼
►
old a black guy version is like slacker
01:08:16
◼
►
like sit around like like talking about
01:08:18
◼
►
scooby-doo this moment in time for my 25
01:08:21
◼
►
30 40 years ago you still like just just
01:08:23
◼
►
turning over because there was never in
01:08:26
◼
►
in their world right there was never a
01:08:28
◼
►
better moment not just in basketball but
01:08:32
◼
►
in history of a
01:08:35
◼
►
the Bulls vs the the celtics writer or
01:08:39
◼
►
LA right was the big rivalries or
01:08:41
◼
►
whatever l 118 lakers and the lakers in
01:08:44
◼
►
the celtics ya get magic vs Larry Bird
01:08:47
◼
►
and and so that was such and I that is
01:08:50
◼
►
just like cast in iron in my own mind
01:08:54
◼
►
and I didn't care about it like the idea
01:08:59
◼
►
that there would ever be a bigger moment
01:09:01
◼
►
in sports than that rivalry which was
01:09:03
◼
►
like so profound and I felt like I felt
01:09:07
◼
►
like you know turn around and being like
01:09:08
◼
►
well what about a you know the beauty
01:09:13
◼
►
jazz but the witch named still really
01:09:18
◼
►
gets under my skin
01:09:19
◼
►
the Jazz the chance yeah famous utah
01:09:22
◼
►
famous for its jazz scene right John
01:09:25
◼
►
Stockton John Stockton he played when he
01:09:28
◼
►
and the Bulls right well you want to
01:09:31
◼
►
play for the Jazz now and John Stockton
01:09:33
◼
►
went to Gonzaga where I want so he was
01:09:36
◼
►
on and Gonzaga was a busy with college
01:09:39
◼
►
as you know that's like basketball is
01:09:40
◼
►
the big thing for guns and I learned
01:09:42
◼
►
about you talk a lot about deadly
01:09:45
◼
►
yeah I learned about him because he's on
01:09:46
◼
►
several episodes of parks and rec and he
01:09:48
◼
►
used to play for the the Sonics that's
01:09:50
◼
►
right it was a long time ago and the
01:09:52
◼
►
sauna so in the early nineties right
01:09:54
◼
►
that was sonics heyday and these guys
01:09:56
◼
►
got into the Sonics they were they were
01:09:59
◼
►
yelling at each other about and I SAT
01:10:00
◼
►
there because I was loving it
01:10:02
◼
►
I did not want to be anywhere else and
01:10:05
◼
►
they yelled at each other about eighties
01:10:06
◼
►
basketball until they were yelling at
01:10:08
◼
►
each other about the Sonics and early
01:10:10
◼
►
nineties basketball which I still could
01:10:12
◼
►
follow along like I understood the terms
01:10:14
◼
►
yeah but so so waltzing around down in
01:10:17
◼
►
Venice IC IC the the the culture down
01:10:22
◼
►
there and like underneath the underneath
01:10:27
◼
►
the level of people selling a like
01:10:29
◼
►
Guatemalan pans underneath the level of
01:10:33
◼
►
in a sideshow Parker Parker ism
01:10:37
◼
►
the like whatever creepy like sub but
01:10:40
◼
►
like the real muscle beaches in santa
01:10:43
◼
►
monica right there but there's another
01:10:44
◼
►
muscle beach in Venice or like feel that
01:10:47
◼
►
muscle beach and having you exactly
01:10:49
◼
►
yeah like yeah it's the its earlier
01:10:52
◼
►
muscle beach feel like every answer
01:10:53
◼
►
Lysander's love the beach I feel like I
01:10:56
◼
►
want to send my remark because i have
01:10:57
◼
►
not been to Venice in a long time and I
01:10:58
◼
►
realized I sound like a dick
01:11:00
◼
►
there's there's a culture of performance
01:11:01
◼
►
to what those people are doing and now i
01:11:02
◼
►
feel kind of a dick that I said anything
01:11:04
◼
►
no no I because because I've been to
01:11:07
◼
►
Venice Beach in Venice California 1000
01:11:10
◼
►
times and I Drive down
01:11:12
◼
►
Albert kidney and I go to the beach and
01:11:14
◼
►
I walk walk around and I go there's
01:11:16
◼
►
nothing here for me and then I leave and
01:11:19
◼
►
then I came back and I did it again I
01:11:21
◼
►
was like there's nothing here for me and
01:11:22
◼
►
then I leave and then there's a Pinot we
01:11:25
◼
►
stop and get coffee and inteligencia and
01:11:27
◼
►
like I don't like this either
01:11:28
◼
►
for years I've been coming here and
01:11:30
◼
►
saying there's nothing here that
01:11:32
◼
►
interest me but now i'm here at more as
01:11:35
◼
►
a local and spending the days here and i
01:11:41
◼
►
find that there's their their levels
01:11:43
◼
►
upon levels but everybody a little bit
01:11:46
◼
►
of like and live in the suburbs are
01:11:48
◼
►
going to the mall
01:11:49
◼
►
we're going to the mall was its own
01:11:52
◼
►
thing you were not there to buy a dress
01:11:54
◼
►
shirt right you were maybe kind of their
01:11:57
◼
►
to get an Orange Julius but I freely
01:11:59
◼
►
went to the mall without a nickel in my
01:12:00
◼
►
pocket just to go to the mall and there
01:12:02
◼
►
was something that you did you knew
01:12:04
◼
►
somebody that worked at the squire shop
01:12:05
◼
►
it was kind of our version of cruising
01:12:07
◼
►
like like in a car like you walk around
01:12:09
◼
►
the mall for like three hours that's
01:12:11
◼
►
what we do that we just go to we would
01:12:12
◼
►
just go to the mall and that sounds
01:12:14
◼
►
somewhat similar
01:12:15
◼
►
this is the third place is the third
01:12:16
◼
►
location for people yeah i bought a
01:12:18
◼
►
bicycle from a guy i said i need a
01:12:22
◼
►
bicycle and this guy had a like a a
01:12:28
◼
►
rotten a rally an old raleigh 3-speed
01:12:32
◼
►
raleigh that I recognized immediately as
01:12:34
◼
►
a an older raleigh those are a British
01:12:40
◼
►
British bikes and so I said I'd give him
01:12:44
◼
►
a hundred bucks for it and he said okay
01:12:47
◼
►
and then I you know I did some searching
01:12:50
◼
►
did some online searching to try and
01:12:52
◼
►
identify the the raleigh it turns out
01:12:55
◼
►
it's in 1966 raleigh who which i'm in
01:12:59
◼
►
the process of sort of cleaning up and
01:13:00
◼
►
fix it up but so now I got this little
01:13:04
◼
►
this little vintagey sort of thing being
01:13:06
◼
►
kind of bicycle i look at David basket
01:13:10
◼
►
I so i have a have a rack in the back
01:13:12
◼
►
and I'm and I'm i want to put a basket
01:13:14
◼
►
on it but i want it i want the runtastic
01:13:16
◼
►
to be one that you can put a bunch of
01:13:20
◼
►
stuff in right i want to be able to put
01:13:22
◼
►
a like a gallon of milk and a loaf of
01:13:23
◼
►
bread and stick of butter and be nice to
01:13:26
◼
►
be able to stick in a standard grocery
01:13:27
◼
►
bag without having to fiddle
01:13:29
◼
►
yeah i just put it in and it's like
01:13:31
◼
►
that's kind of a delivery guy Basque
01:13:33
◼
►
basak okay so i'm trying to find the
01:13:36
◼
►
right one so I haven't I haven't
01:13:37
◼
►
committed to it yet but so I'm riding
01:13:41
◼
►
around so now I'm a local right this
01:13:42
◼
►
isn't some dumb beach bike that I rent
01:13:44
◼
►
it from somebody who this is my quirky
01:13:47
◼
►
sixties like three speed British bike
01:13:50
◼
►
and so now I'm already feeling like
01:13:53
◼
►
what's Mike work you know going tonight
01:13:55
◼
►
am I gonna get a bowler
01:13:57
◼
►
yeah you know your that that's now your
01:14:00
◼
►
year you get that point where you gotta
01:14:01
◼
►
like oh you do i always want to sit on
01:14:03
◼
►
the side watch everybody else dance
01:14:04
◼
►
exactly it's gonna be a party i should
01:14:06
◼
►
get in there dance so yesterday i was
01:14:08
◼
►
having breakfast here in Venice Beach a
01:14:09
◼
►
guy rolls up ready for this motorcycle
01:14:14
◼
►
sidecar now what's in the side armor one
01:14:18
◼
►
bulldog that's right and what's the
01:14:20
◼
►
Bulldog wearing this is he wearing
01:14:24
◼
►
aviator helmet because this guy's got a
01:14:29
◼
►
he's got a pair of goggles really
01:14:35
◼
►
happened on the dog and and a
01:14:39
◼
►
handkerchief your next move around feels
01:14:41
◼
►
like something union where if he's like
01:14:43
◼
►
as you went down that path there was no
01:14:45
◼
►
way that wouldn't end with a bulldog
01:14:47
◼
►
just as an aviator so here i'm watching
01:14:50
◼
►
this guy gets up there and it's like a
01:14:51
◼
►
platonic form of Bulldogs exactly right
01:14:54
◼
►
it's a platonic form you know you might
01:14:56
◼
►
not put into to you might not put in a
01:14:58
◼
►
baseball cap that dog that dog needs to
01:15:00
◼
►
be an aviator
01:15:01
◼
►
what's so watching the whole thing
01:15:02
◼
►
unfold he pulls up in front of the
01:15:03
◼
►
sidewalk cafe where I meeting he talked
01:15:05
◼
►
to some people think they take his
01:15:07
◼
►
picture with the dog he looks like a
01:15:09
◼
►
normal guy he's not he's not wearing a
01:15:12
◼
►
sunflower costume right he's not Peter
01:15:15
◼
►
Gabriel he's like just wearing a jean
01:15:19
◼
►
normal haircut and but he doesn't come
01:15:24
◼
►
into the restaurant he's he's out front
01:15:26
◼
►
of the restaurant for a while talking to
01:15:28
◼
►
people it's not clear that he knows
01:15:30
◼
►
anything he saw somebody was like hey
01:15:31
◼
►
there's my friend pulling over and then
01:15:33
◼
►
he gets on the motorcycle and the dog
01:15:35
◼
►
drive off and it's like does he just he
01:15:37
◼
►
just touring all the restaurants it's
01:15:39
◼
►
like sunday sunday morning I've seen
01:15:42
◼
►
I've seen people who do that I've seen
01:15:43
◼
►
belly dancers that do that I think
01:15:45
◼
►
people who just go from place to place
01:15:47
◼
►
doing their performance ya doing their
01:15:50
◼
►
work and so as i said as i sat and
01:15:52
◼
►
watched him and i watch this unfold I
01:15:54
◼
►
was like wait a minute this is a this is
01:15:57
◼
►
a platonic form this guy has chosen to
01:16:04
◼
►
the motorcycle with the Bulldog with the
01:16:06
◼
►
sidecar with the goggles sky he didn't
01:16:10
◼
►
invent this this is a this is the thing
01:16:12
◼
►
that we all these days as the hint has
01:16:15
◼
►
the hinges would say he's an avatar
01:16:16
◼
►
he's an avatar right he is the he is the
01:16:20
◼
►
mark twain impersonator but right now in
01:16:26
◼
►
Venice California he may be the only one
01:16:28
◼
►
he may be the guy and if I were 19 years
01:16:32
◼
►
old it's like a century 21 franchise say
01:16:35
◼
►
a limited to certain territory this is
01:16:37
◼
►
what I wonder what does he do if he's if
01:16:39
◼
►
he rides up in venice beach and there's
01:16:40
◼
►
another guy with a motorcycle with a
01:16:42
◼
►
sidecar with a bulldog with goggles
01:16:44
◼
►
like what if you want to be the parent
01:16:45
◼
►
guy there's already passed apparent what
01:16:48
◼
►
you want if you want to be talks about
01:16:49
◼
►
the deficit guy you're gonna have to go
01:16:51
◼
►
to tell if he dresses like Mark Twain
01:16:53
◼
►
guy there's a very good chance there's
01:16:55
◼
►
already a dresses like Mark Twain guy or
01:16:57
◼
►
what if you're Jimi Hendrix on roller
01:16:59
◼
►
skates guy like there's been a jimi
01:17:02
◼
►
hendrix on roller skates on venice beach
01:17:04
◼
►
for 40 years
01:17:07
◼
►
is it the same guy the whole time does
01:17:08
◼
►
he play guitar away skating he does Oh
01:17:10
◼
►
as an amplifier on his back and he's a
01:17:14
◼
►
good enough guitar player that you
01:17:15
◼
►
identify the guitar parts as Jim
01:17:17
◼
►
Henderson Jimi Hendrix Ian but does is
01:17:24
◼
►
it the same guy does he anoint the next
01:17:26
◼
►
guy did you try out for that job when
01:17:29
◼
►
the when the guys ready to retire but
01:17:31
◼
►
but the motorcycle guy I was like which
01:17:34
◼
►
element came first right did he have the
01:17:37
◼
►
bulldog and then he said hey haha i'm
01:17:41
◼
►
gonna put goggles on you and then he was
01:17:43
◼
►
like wait a minute
01:17:44
◼
►
yeah this feels right to me and then he
01:17:46
◼
►
bought a motorcycle with a sidecar or
01:17:51
◼
►
did he have a motorcycle and then he was
01:17:54
◼
►
many felt like you know I've always
01:17:56
◼
►
wanted a sidecar because i was a I was a
01:17:59
◼
►
motorcycle person and I wanted a sidecar
01:18:03
◼
►
until guess it went motorcycle for a
01:18:07
◼
►
Bulldog for some time oh he strapped on
01:18:10
◼
►
a sidecar and that point it's just a
01:18:12
◼
►
trip to the flea market 222 deck out
01:18:14
◼
►
your your animal so you feel like he
01:18:17
◼
►
sandwiched his way into it i don't see
01:18:19
◼
►
how it goes backwards we're watching a
01:18:20
◼
►
project runway where somebody made a
01:18:22
◼
►
pattern that was based on their own
01:18:23
◼
►
tattoo which I found very convoluted i
01:18:26
◼
►
think i think it's like I cannot comes
01:18:28
◼
►
razor thing like you know was like the
01:18:30
◼
►
order that way because it'll be very sad
01:18:32
◼
►
we started with chuckles you get back
01:18:39
◼
►
solving the goggles i looked at it and
01:18:44
◼
►
felt like it was very real possible my
01:18:46
◼
►
god a stoner burnout just walked by the
01:18:51
◼
►
I mean they're real here they look like
01:18:52
◼
►
they're that close yeah yeah like
01:18:55
◼
►
clearly he had no he was like.he he
01:18:59
◼
►
seriously was the dude right particular
01:19:02
◼
►
did ya just missing the sweater how man
01:19:05
◼
►
82 degrees or whatever but I looked at
01:19:07
◼
►
the motorcycle sidecar guy and I felt
01:19:10
◼
►
like the whole thing came to him in a
01:19:12
◼
►
uh-huh like tomorrow I like today I am
01:19:17
◼
►
myself tomorrow i'm going to set in
01:19:21
◼
►
motion a chain of events that will that
01:19:24
◼
►
will will transform me
01:19:26
◼
►
into motorcycle side darkside Bulldog
01:19:33
◼
►
you know like yeah I'm thinking because
01:19:35
◼
►
last night I was a movie I watched for
01:19:36
◼
►
the fourth or fifth time which is called
01:19:38
◼
►
a blue to prove you think of deceptive
01:19:41
◼
►
practice and Ricky J think you might
01:19:44
◼
►
have seen it once or twice I have you
01:19:46
◼
►
know what should i watch it fairly
01:19:48
◼
►
regularly because it's amazing and I'm
01:19:50
◼
►
the toxin particular about his
01:19:52
◼
►
relationship with the kids wasn't
01:19:54
◼
►
charlie miller and I vernon and how he
01:19:56
◼
►
would go to the magic castle in like
01:19:57
◼
►
there was like this this like it was
01:19:59
◼
►
like Fagan they're like all of these a
01:20:01
◼
►
spy in the seventies they're always like
01:20:02
◼
►
aspiring young magicians who would hang
01:20:05
◼
►
out with these guys and like try and get
01:20:08
◼
►
the information and would never give
01:20:10
◼
►
away their know he totally messed them
01:20:12
◼
►
like one time according to ricky jay you
01:20:15
◼
►
know he indicated is an amazing thing
01:20:16
◼
►
where he throws a card boomerangs back
01:20:18
◼
►
to him and I've earned said I've done at
01:20:20
◼
►
39 times I've never been able to 40
01:20:22
◼
►
times if you can do 40 times i'll tell
01:20:24
◼
►
you this effect that you want to know
01:20:25
◼
►
and he did it and the 40th caught it
01:20:27
◼
►
behind his back
01:20:28
◼
►
just because he's a magic guy point
01:20:31
◼
►
being like they're all jockeying they're
01:20:32
◼
►
playing them against each other they're
01:20:34
◼
►
good grooming the magician's basically
01:20:37
◼
►
but like I wonder if something similar
01:20:38
◼
►
happens do you have to go an apprentice
01:20:40
◼
►
with somebody else's a motorcycle
01:20:42
◼
►
sidecar Bulldog man here's the piers I
01:20:44
◼
►
mean the thing that scared me
01:20:47
◼
►
I bet there's a lot you can get wrong
01:20:48
◼
►
and you might not learn for five years
01:20:50
◼
►
something you've been doing wrong
01:20:51
◼
►
this is what I'm this is what scared me
01:20:53
◼
►
yeah the guy first of all two things one
01:20:56
◼
►
he's wearing a denim jacket but it's a
01:20:57
◼
►
sand colored denim jack
01:21:00
◼
►
hmm I was like okay I haven't seen one
01:21:05
◼
►
of those in a long time
01:21:06
◼
►
it sounds like kind of a dad jacket
01:21:08
◼
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little bit you mean like a classic
01:21:10
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Levi's but sin is that sandy color it's
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insane because then everyone kind of
01:21:14
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cold when Levi's was making sand color
01:21:17
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denim i think i do this is one of those
01:21:19
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but it's in Nice shape it's not like
01:21:21
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ratty it's nice second problem that
01:21:24
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looks like Tom Hanks oh that's nice and
01:21:29
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interesting wrinkle right domestic it
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looks like your heels i'm thinking it
01:21:33
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looks like one of the biker guys in
01:21:34
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pee-wee's big adventure right or maybe
01:21:36
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somebody like the machi brothers or
01:21:38
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somebody episode of the month
01:21:40
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he's got that wrong yeah he looks like
01:21:42
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Tom Hanks top to bottom
01:21:44
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oh my god likes skinny but sand-colored
01:21:47
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Levi's jacket I I didn't see his shoes
01:21:49
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but I'm gonna say like not boat shoes
01:21:54
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but in the in the larger than finally
01:21:57
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slip-on she didn't answer at all the
01:21:59
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whole thing was the dogs idea that guy's
01:22:00
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just catching up
01:22:01
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I think that's what I wonder i mean the
01:22:03
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dogs submitted to the goggles the
01:22:05
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goggles came off and on like three or
01:22:06
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four times just about every time the
01:22:09
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goggles went on the dogs just like
01:22:10
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didn't bat an eye
01:22:13
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huh I feel like the I feel like I feel
01:22:17
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like he saw a movie and he had the money
01:22:20
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to accomplish this task and like he did
01:22:26
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not seem at all like a roller skate Jimi
01:22:30
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Hendrix he seemed like a guy that works
01:22:34
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on the on the admin side of film right
01:22:40
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like all day long he's around
01:22:42
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he works on designing women or or sure
01:22:45
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another cut contemporary webseries yeah
01:22:47
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yeah he works on a show where the
01:22:51
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on-camera people are quirky and the
01:22:54
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riders are quirky and he's been saving
01:22:57
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yeah he's in it's something he's in the
01:22:59
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game right but he's you know he's like
01:23:02
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the second assistant accountant person
01:23:06
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hand and he's like I'm not going to get
01:23:09
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I you know I gotta get I gotta up my
01:23:12
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quick game here to play with the big
01:23:14
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boys in santa monica and the dog seems
01:23:16
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to like it but don't like sit the dog
01:23:19
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gets its all the attention in the world
01:23:20
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but he see in my head I thought and
01:23:25
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maybe I'm being a little little
01:23:26
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on-the-nose here I guess I figured that
01:23:28
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they would in my head there's ninety
01:23:30
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percent chance they're dressed almost
01:23:31
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identically m which is you know I think
01:23:34
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people do especially motorcycle people
01:23:35
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they like to look kind of the same right
01:23:37
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you know what maybe to you and your and
01:23:39
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your mall or it could be you and your
01:23:42
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crew but use a uniform you wear the
01:23:44
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colors I thought that would be kind of a
01:23:46
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cute thing if maybe they're just simple
01:23:48
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for you know it would also be funny if
01:23:49
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it was like there was a lot of the
01:23:51
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in contrast maybe he's Harpo Marx but
01:23:53
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the he would inhabit a certain character
01:23:55
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beyond the guy who looks like Tom Hanks
01:23:57
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yeah that surprised me
01:24:00
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yeah yeah yeah yeah well the Mets it's a
01:24:03
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world of surprises and they're not all
01:24:05
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surprises in the they're not all
01:24:08
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surprises in the amps sometimes they're
01:24:10
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surprises in the bolts hmm i mean i
01:24:13
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think i do yeah so you know you're used
01:24:16
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to being like whoa so many amps but it's
01:24:18
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like me it's not really the amps here
01:24:19
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who's it's the torque yeah that's right
01:24:22
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yeah I mean it's maybe he doesn't want
01:24:27
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to distract from the dog I don't think
01:24:30
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thats it hes he was soaking up that the
01:24:33
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dollar it really take turns people are
01:24:35
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throwing dollars at the dog but they're
01:24:37
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going into the garter belt of the dude I
01:24:39
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get it I get it it's like that star star
01:24:43
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star 99 star-69 oh yeah its star 69
01:24:47
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rosemary Stratton what's in here and she
01:24:48
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demands and family we think of rosemary
01:24:50
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Stratton knows i'm thinking isn't that
01:24:52
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Gorge and there's good George Clooney's
01:24:56
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Oh racetrack on my house my house my
01:24:59
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Grammy dress you like a dog
01:25:02
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hi i do not remember my dreams anymore
01:25:06
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yeah Oh at all you know what
01:25:10
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so you know you have on but you don't
01:25:12
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remember them yeah but i never have
01:25:15
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nightmares I never had bad dreams my
01:25:19
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dream life is like this wonderful
01:25:20
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wonderful landscape
01:25:22
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I can't wait to get there I love stand
01:25:25
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it's a good vacation photos right when i
01:25:28
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wake up the dream like in the in the
01:25:32
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moment I wake the dream is there and
01:25:36
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then it all completely gone with no
01:25:39
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Oh like just comes to dust and when I
01:25:42
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won't accept it except there's no like
01:25:45
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there's no death to it's not like a
01:25:47
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turns to subdue like crumble bone
01:25:49
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it just goes like not for you and what
01:25:55
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that does me learning somebody's first
01:25:56
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name terrible dot discipline yes i want
01:26:01
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to stress you out though you don't sound
01:26:03
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stressed by it I I always remembered my
01:26:05
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dreams I loved my dreams I tried to do
01:26:07
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lucid dreaming I got to two shots at it
01:26:10
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I gotta drive lucid dream to x wonderful
01:26:14
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wonderful nights I wish I could you know
01:26:16
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i wish i could go back and live there
01:26:18
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all the time remembered my dreams
01:26:21
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thought about him
01:26:22
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cherish them reveled in them I had a
01:26:25
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nightmare since the eighties probably
01:26:27
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Wow at some point in the last 10 years
01:26:31
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they just I just don't bring them into
01:26:36
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the into my waking life and there's I
01:26:39
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and I and I feel a sense of loss but
01:26:42
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also i know that my dream life is still
01:26:45
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ongoing and still very pleasant and so I
01:26:49
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have to just I guess surrender
01:26:53
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well that's that's that's kind of weird
01:26:54
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and said that maybe it's like dave
01:26:56
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eggers that's not for you not for me is
01:26:58
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like itunes reviews
01:26:59
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yeah these whatever whatever like files
01:27:02
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were were thrown around you know there's
01:27:04
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like 14 chimpanzees in a in a in a bank
01:27:08
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who they're just throwing files in the
01:27:10
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air and that's what your dream life is
01:27:13
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well I'd love to have that way but every
01:27:18
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morning you wake up the vault door
01:27:19
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closes and all you see is the lead last
01:27:21
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glimpse through the door of the
01:27:22
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chimpanzees for files you're like look
01:27:24
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at the book and then the doors closed
01:27:26
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near like what can I do I don't know the
01:27:32
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Jojo alright well