The Incomparable

238: Caucus with the Dark Side


  the entire little number 238 mar 2015 [TS]

  welcome back to part two of the [TS]

  incomparable drive-by shooting of star [TS]

  wars episode III Revenge of the Sith i'm [TS]

  your host Jason Snell this is part two [TS]

  part 1 was last week if you hadn't [TS]

  listened part1 yet you should because [TS]

  you're missing our hour-and-a-half where [TS]

  we talked about barely passed the crawl [TS]

  but we've got the rest of the movie our [TS]

  last of the prequel trilogy ready to go [TS]

  my guests are Dan Morgan John siracusa [TS]

  serenity Caldwell Steve let's and andy [TS]

  and not coming can we pause on the like [TS]

  the kitchen stuff kazoo please callprice [TS]

  proper name [TS]

  zoom zoom that's not a name and let's [TS]

  talk about the the next Palpatine Anakin [TS]

  scene which work that because that is [TS]

  the one actually for me that's the [TS]

  that's the scene in the movie that I [TS]

  actually love where Anakin finds out [TS]

  that Palpatine is a Sith Lord and that's [TS]

  that's the only moment of betrayal that [TS]

  sort of feels real and feels true all I [TS]

  don't understand why he doesn't [TS]

  immediately just you know put them in [TS]

  shackles and walks away but don't you [TS]

  feel like it's the scene is the scene [TS]

  from the wrong trousers the boss and [TS]

  ground we were faster or takes out the [TS]

  rubber glove and and walls because I got [TS]

  it daddy we have so you wanna sit Lord [TS]

  but yes you'd like anna has the last one [TS]

  of the galaxy to figure that out [TS]

  no no one else in the galaxy is figured [TS]

  just the audio well they should have [TS]

  everybody should know else because [TS]

  everybody's been hoodwinked can you tell [TS]

  i'm a Sith Lord now how about now back [TS]

  now how about now haha [TS]

  there could be such a good rifftrax [TS]

  version of the scene that we could make [TS]

  but I really do feel like there are [TS]

  again it's the scene itself is not [TS]

  perfect but there are elements to the [TS]

  the way that he slowly kind of spins out [TS]

  who he is when he talks about Padme and [TS]

  we talked about there are things that [TS]

  can be done and again really praying on [TS]

  his trust to the point where Anakin is [TS]

  legitimately legitimately like holy crap [TS]

  you're crazy person [TS]

  why have I been listening to you your [TS]

  your horrible any I must inform the Jedi [TS]

  Council you know I'm i feel horribly [TS]

  betrayed like this is it again a scene [TS]

  from an alternate movie a much better [TS]

  movie where [TS]

  Palpatine is his mentor and his idol and [TS]

  then all of a sudden Palpatine basically [TS]

  in a in a way to try and help him and [TS]

  pull him over to his worldview kind of [TS]

  reveals too much his hand Anakin's like [TS]

  whoa ok you know you've made my decision [TS]

  a lot easier i'm gonna go to the Jedi [TS]

  Council now like that that pulled me [TS]

  into the movie and then of course the [TS]

  whole Jedi Council saying is done [TS]

  because a UH mechanical sensors yeah [TS]

  they have good they have hologram google [TS]

  hangouts though that's well i'm curious [TS]

  what if you're going to check in [TS]

  remotely to the Jedi Council do you have [TS]

  to sit in a similar chair in order to [TS]

  generate or just hollow skype [TS]

  automatically more for you into a proper [TS]

  comfortably seated position no that's [TS]

  not what I started to give you something [TS]

  like are they sitting in your same the [TS]

  hologram is a filter are in the chairs [TS]

  that's how it works is this is this just [TS]

  like this that chat cam is fitted with [TS]

  microsoft hololens like they're not [TS]

  actually there [TS]

  yeah that was not very nice at the [TS]

  wookies procured a yoda sized hollow [TS]

  chairs they did well he know his people [TS]

  bring that along with him [TS]

  grotius in his little almond shaped [TS]

  spaceship yes [TS]

  incidentally my favorite my favorite [TS]

  quote from that second Anakin Palpatine [TS]

  is i think is that where he says you [TS]

  know that dark side and my first thought [TS]

  was yeah i'm at once or twice you know [TS]

  in a bar [TS]

  nothing serious maybe you've heard of it [TS]

  how does it work I'm a relief carving in [TS]

  the background of that they're like this [TS]

  another and another setting with it like [TS]

  the opposite staging i thought was [TS]

  interesting and so was them having this [TS]

  confrontation little Dan front of that [TS]

  in front of that carving the that this [TS]

  that's actually the scene where I wrote [TS]

  down the McDermott is pretty good but my [TS]

  problem with its ready you're exactly [TS]

  right that the issue isn't with the [TS]

  scene [TS]

  the issue is with you have not earned [TS]

  that scene yet because because what we [TS]

  want to see is Anakin feet feeling like [TS]

  he trusts that the Chancellor and that [TS]

  and that when he reveals to him that [TS]

  he's a Sith Lord he already knows he's [TS]

  come along [TS]

  he's completely bought in instead of it [TS]

  being like he's kind of a bumpkin who [TS]

  needs to figure it out he should be with [TS]

  him there and you need for him to want [TS]

  something you need to i want something [TS]

  impossible and believable for this big [TS]

  notion like I had a dream a couple [TS]

  seasons ago now [TS]

  but totally convinced my wife is gonna [TS]

  die and I'm also totally convinced the [TS]

  only way I can stop her from dying is [TS]

  going to the dark side and killing [TS]

  children like this is nonsensical like [TS]

  it doesn't [TS]

  there is nothing he wants I want to [TS]

  believe that he has been truly would and [TS]

  he is a full-on believer in the cause [TS]

  here and not that he's using it as a [TS]

  means to an end and that's what it is [TS]

  I i just think that it's so it will be [TS]

  so much stronger if even the audience is [TS]

  now sort of questioning that she would [TS]

  we've always our opinion of the Jedi has [TS]

  been formed based on the Holy trilogy [TS]

  these two Jedi that we're familiar with [TS]

  that are very very good people [TS]

  what if like the rest of them are kind [TS]

  of jerks that they that they sort of [TS]

  came up from it would be so much easier [TS]

  and so much more interesting as the [TS]

  audience if it were like and Anakin is [TS]

  like a conservative Democrat Palpatine [TS]

  is it considered I'm sorry's of moderate [TS]

  Democrat Party is a moderate Republican [TS]

  where it is so easy to simply say that [TS]

  to make that little ships well you know [TS]

  these people have but the the people on [TS]

  the other end of the aisle have been [TS]

  demonized in my mind for so long [TS]

  actually now that I understand this one [TS]

  person and his point of view [TS]

  maybe I should be or maybe I should be a [TS]

  city instead of a Jedi and make us in [TS]

  the audience think you know actually the [TS]

  Jedi are kind of being jerks in that [TS]

  they're still kind of unfocused and what [TS]

  they're doing in love i love that you [TS]

  used a political metaphor there and [TS]

  because that's perfect i can hear [TS]

  Palpatine saying please and can caucus [TS]

  with my partner is a half cab and we [TS]

  think that single pads doomed to fail [TS]

  it's supposed to be politics in the [TS]

  movie anyway yeah exactly use a metaphor [TS]

  to explain it because it's so far [TS]

  distant from actual politics that's what [TS]

  it's actually supposed to be it's [TS]

  supposed to actually ioa clearly see my [TS]

  way this is a perfect place for the [TS]

  worth of the use of death panels and yet [TS]

  nobody even once [TS]

  what what what I actually went to the [TS]

  with the death panels of one of this [TS]

  lightsaber could not cut through that [TS]

  we're talking there those are ratios [TS]

  close though ratio and I must go now i [TS]

  am about to do a filibuster and I will [TS]

  be back now he's gotta go back into his [TS]

  office and call people for money for [TS]

  nothing bro [TS]

  disclosure i will be back I've got to [TS]

  jc's pancake breakfast I actually feel [TS]

  that it's okay that he's not wounded in [TS]

  this scene i actually I like the fact [TS]

  that Anakin is like I've bought into so [TS]

  much of your bullshit and now that you [TS]

  know now that you're actually pulling [TS]

  back your your your hood so to speak [TS]

  I'm actually horrified i like that you [TS]

  know he's he's antagonistic is like I I [TS]

  want to kill you I I need to like this [TS]

  is this is awful i need to go away i [TS]

  need some time to think because the [TS]

  again that there's a scene in this movie [TS]

  that almost works and doesn't as for [TS]

  tiny tiny fraction of a second but [TS]

  Palpatine is even playing here because [TS]

  Papa Gino's this is going to be as [TS]

  reaction wants him to go back yet go [TS]

  back to the Jedi and set like it's he's [TS]

  setting up the next scene which has its [TS]

  own major problems but he is setting up [TS]

  well the next the next scene does have [TS]

  its major problems but this is the again [TS]

  the the fantasy arc that i want for [TS]

  Anakin worries like i trust Palpatine [TS]

  Palpatine's betrayed me [TS]

  I'm going to the Jedi Council I've given [TS]

  this information to mace window [TS]

  he's doing this you know he's doing this [TS]

  and while he's doing this I start to get [TS]

  doubts because oh god you know maybe [TS]

  they'll kill him he's you know he is my [TS]

  father figure I should be there and then [TS]

  on top of that i have this worried about [TS]

  my wife and then you have him basically [TS]

  they're witnessing mace basically [TS]

  threatening to do what he was afraid of [TS]

  and in impure in anger in shock and like [TS]

  in I don't know what to do he ends up [TS]

  killing one of the greatest Jedi Masters [TS]

  alive [TS]

  that's the interesting thing though it's [TS]

  like if if you want to build that like [TS]

  in my in my fantasy universe and it can [TS]

  swap to the dark side is basically his [TS]

  complete and utter horror at i have [TS]

  fought like in a in a freak reaction [TS]

  I've given up all of my dread I training [TS]

  by killing this person and now i have i [TS]

  have sunk to the very lowest of the low [TS]

  and i don't know what to do with myself [TS]

  and I'm I'm completely shattered human [TS]

  being [TS]

  emergent over the line and now there's [TS]

  no way back exactly there [TS]

  the Jedi Council could never take me [TS]

  back what would ob1 think of me I have [TS]

  no what like what would Padme think of [TS]

  me I I [TS]

  don't know what to do i'm like if that [TS]

  is that is what i want and you get you [TS]

  get hints of it here in there you get [TS]

  hints of it in the previous scene and [TS]

  you get hints of it in the mace windu [TS]

  scene but then it all goes crazy because [TS]

  then he's like all right now I am upon i [TS]

  Ave you master forever i will be dark [TS]

  dark vader like it's bought it swaps way [TS]

  to lose weight too quickly but that's [TS]

  the movie i want but even the character [TS]

  came out of that you that was the movie [TS]

  that was there like the darth vader that [TS]

  came out of that it's like I've now gone [TS]

  too far I've made this terrible mistake [TS]

  and the Jedi will never take me back so [TS]

  I'm forced to go to the side that is not [TS]

  the the invader from a new hope you have [TS]

  a new hope is confident with it that [TS]

  he's doing what is necessary like he's a [TS]

  company man he is not like I've made a [TS]

  terrible mistake anam an outcast and I [TS]

  have to hang out with these losers he [TS]

  doesn't regret you know this is why you [TS]

  know so as long as we're talking fantasy [TS]

  versus this is this is why in my version [TS]

  of this i want to see the story where [TS]

  you actually split this into and you do [TS]

  the fall of Anakin Skywalker as you're [TS]

  doing the rise of darth vader darth [TS]

  vader operating from the shadows no one [TS]

  knows who this new Sith apprentices and [TS]

  you can actually do that in such a way [TS]

  that you can kind of maintain the the [TS]

  big reveal in Empire Strikes Back at [TS]

  that point because if you believe that [TS]

  the end of this movie not to get too far [TS]

  ahead in the third act but if you [TS]

  believe at the end of this movie that [TS]

  obi-wan is essentially let Anakin [TS]

  Skywalker died and that you know most [TS]

  people are in the dark as to Anakin [TS]

  Skywalker is Darth Vader there's still [TS]

  compelling interesting story to be told [TS]

  there and we have an interesting reveal [TS]

  later on where you know we think you [TS]

  know it's kind of a double fake out [TS]

  because if we think that obi-wan is [TS]

  essentially caused Anakin Skywalker to [TS]

  die then we're watching you know [TS]

  episodes of four and five with this [TS]

  whole different mindset like oh my god [TS]

  obi-wan is lying to him about Darth [TS]

  Vader killing his dad because actually [TS]

  it was only one who killed his dad so [TS]

  it's kind of like makes a great red [TS]

  herring track there and I think you know [TS]

  by having this as John pointed out you [TS]

  know Darth Vader supposed to be a [TS]

  willing participant in this so this [TS]

  doesn't really sell in some way but if [TS]

  you have the idea instead that the [TS]

  Emperor's trying to sort of extend his [TS]

  tendrils throughout it's entirely [TS]

  plausible that you would he's got like [TS]

  you know we've already seen three or [TS]

  four different apprentices for him right [TS]

  so you know if we've already got this [TS]

  idea that maybe he would have developed [TS]

  you know Anakin and sort of slowly [TS]

  rather than having this cataclysmic [TS]

  event [TS]

  during the rise of Darth Vader with the [TS]

  fall of the republic if Vader is sort of [TS]

  like seduced over before then and we [TS]

  sort of see him you know appearing in [TS]

  the armor or in like a mask or something [TS]

  that be straight trying to conceal his [TS]

  identity and maintain this dual life and [TS]

  feeling maybe you know not necessarily [TS]

  conflicted but essentially trying to [TS]

  hide from his wife and his friend what [TS]

  he is doing even though he believes it [TS]

  to be something that he needs to do like [TS]

  I think there's a far more compelling [TS]

  story there but that doesn't exist [TS]

  I think that would be really interesting [TS]

  with the exception of I don't think that [TS]

  he would ever kill children in that all [TS]

  that that's a whole separate yet seen is [TS]

  pointless property and cycling through [TS]

  Sith Lords like that's kind of like a [TS]

  running gag in his mouth yeah he goes on [TS]

  too many sick days but he can't make him [TS]

  stay [TS]

  that's that's something that I really [TS]

  wondered about because is this a case of [TS]

  musical chairs where Darth Vader became [TS]

  is the Emperor's right hand for 30 years [TS]

  simply because he was told he was the [TS]

  one left standing when he thought I'll [TS]

  or was laying down for an hour or was it [TS]

  or was it because Palpatine actually saw [TS]

  something in Anakin that he actually [TS]

  liked and respected saying that there's [TS]

  something I'm going to trust to be my [TS]

  again my fist throughout the galaxy [TS]

  this is the guy that I really want by my [TS]

  side when you finally going to discuss [TS]

  your legs guys the biggest dope this bit [TS]

  of the biggest cornhusk I've ever seen [TS]

  I've listed the issue right is that is [TS]

  that the the prequel trilogy Anakin you [TS]

  think Palpatine chosen because he's a [TS]

  convenient sucker [TS]

  whereas the original trilogy Darth Vader [TS]

  you think oh well he's the right hand [TS]

  because he's a he's a badass right but [TS]

  they don't connect they don't and like [TS]

  the whole idea is that the city like it [TS]

  it's the dynamically this presented the [TS]

  movies should be like that it's the [TS]

  strongest one and he also picks a strong [TS]

  as one and the other strong one [TS]

  eventually overthrows that one like the [TS]

  cycle repeats like it's you're trying to [TS]

  breed stronger and stronger since you're [TS]

  never going to pick a soccer because [TS]

  like why would you pick a sucker and [TS]

  went because you would always want the [TS]

  super powerful one and he has two he has [TS]

  to believe in the cause he has to be [TS]

  willing to like there can't be any the [TS]

  whole you know there is no conflict with [TS]

  the only time this there should be [TS]

  conflict invaders at the very end when [TS]

  Luke regimes and everybody's up that [TS]

  baby's got to be totally convinced of [TS]

  what he's doing is the right thing and [TS]

  you know [TS]

  it was kind of a shame when his wife [TS]

  died or was killed or however you want [TS]

  to happen but this is what the Galaxy [TS]

  needs like a dress that might address on [TS]

  this moment other than that you know if [TS]

  we go with the I create I created you [TS]

  using midi-chlorians you're my perfect [TS]

  you should be disappointed I created you [TS]

  and yours three dom medical reasons [TS]

  don't work i picked a random slave woman [TS]

  on Tatooine why I don't know the [TS]

  universe makes those joy is I created [TS]

  you and I wanted Michael but I got [TS]

  freedom I created you and I cannot [TS]

  create you [TS]

  let's go back to the real movie and I'm [TS]

  your only witness a fantasy movie we're [TS]

  gonna go back we're gonna go to Kashi [TS]

  core as we like to call it kazoo kazoo [TS]

  my the wookies are there my kids were [TS]

  watching at this point in there like AI [TS]

  remember this level from lego star wars [TS]

  so there's that [TS]

  it's now been at this point nearly 30 [TS]

  minutes without a damn thing happening [TS]

  in the movie now and Steve to your point [TS]

  my note says 45 minutes in what is [TS]

  happening nothing is happening but then [TS]

  something happens for about 30 seconds [TS]

  and then nothing happens again yeah I [TS]

  think it's a really clever idea I i [TS]

  suspect that they are invading keshiki [TS]

  Ron life day because they're going to [TS]

  cash-strapped school keys off guard [TS]

  there is a big tree back in the [TS]

  background looks like it could be [TS]

  Chewbacca's tree it's possible we hear a [TS]

  really super cheesy Tarzan sound felt [TS]

  like that's the worst thing in the movie [TS]

  another riff 2 episode 6 which in that [TS]

  case yes also still kind of a dump truck [TS]

  super cheesy and we want talk to some [TS]

  clothes and takes off and yeah General [TS]

  Grievous is there at my notes at this [TS]

  point break down to this is all just [TS]

  nonsensical we show up but everything [TS]

  that happens in this movie is we show up [TS]

  at a random planet and then there's a [TS]

  plot thread and a fight that you have [TS]

  that you got the work is all behind [TS]

  their barrier and then once the thing [TS]

  start laying on the beach they'll jump [TS]

  over the barrier and then run down the [TS]

  beach to be shot at yeah I really like [TS]

  that uh obi-wan decides he needs to be [TS]

  really sneaky and so his choice get some [TS]

  reason to do that is to get on a giant [TS]

  list her rocker how ya feelin no [TS]

  senators yes John and I have the same [TS]

  notes it's a giant lizard that makes a [TS]

  loud high-pitched north and after if [TS]

  you're gonna spy on people are you [TS]

  losers feathers your pad my ride that [TS]

  desert my follow-up notice seems like a [TS]

  dumb plan obi-wan I like that the stupid [TS]

  Trade Federation guys are around [TS]

  actually sort of i was like oh yeah [TS]

  those guide nute Gunray alright remember [TS]

  when you thought he was going to be [TS]

  really important i like when obi-wan [TS]

  drops the big thing on and smooches the [TS]

  droids I thought that was I thought that [TS]

  was okay [TS]

  General Grievous gets his this is the [TS]

  most awesome christmas toy every moment [TS]

  where he's got the forearms and the spin [TS]

  light sabers i wrote down he seems [TS]

  Grievous seems like a little kids idea [TS]

  like you know what would be awesome if [TS]

  it is a robot with foodstuffs entire [TS]

  trilogy jumps into a little car wheel [TS]

  and spins around the world and the [TS]

  Condor wheel has legs also my favorite [TS]

  part of that fight is the bit where [TS]

  they're fighting on the random platform [TS]

  with the uShip in the back like the [TS]

  Starfighter there which is expressly set [TS]

  up so that when obi-wan has to escape [TS]

  later there's a Starfighter that he [TS]

  knows exists also bangs head on once i [TS]

  think for some reason pinhead shows up [TS]

  in this movie at this point yes meet [TS]

  obi-wan on he's got the same robe he's [TS]

  got the same head and everything I did [TS]

  like that i noticed this time around [TS]

  having watched this and again watching [TS]

  Star Wars rebels in like oh it's the [TS]

  same races the Inquisitor and sure [TS]

  enough it's i sent a plot to destroy the [TS]

  Jedi that is the worst line in this [TS]

  movie I'm gonna put that one [TS]

  I'm sorry there are a lot of bad lungs [TS]

  but like I i I'd the worst line has yet [TS]

  to call the worst line is at the end it [TS]

  someone gave him pages to the script [TS]

  there's like is if I flip ahead few [TS]

  pages i sense a plot to destroy the Jedi [TS]

  so we do see nute Gunray again at this [TS]

  point of all the freakin characters to [TS]

  last through all three pre I know what I [TS]

  was happy to see nute Gunray honestly [TS]

  not Darth Maul but nope nute Gunray he's [TS]

  the guy you remove you remember him from [TS]

  that terrible first scene of the [TS]

  terrible first movie is so terrible [TS]

  hello there those are just I heal [TS]

  once again this week the incomparable is [TS]

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  ok let's resume the beating of Star Wars [TS]

  had a couple comments of the obi-wan [TS]

  Grievous fight one that obi-wan is dumb [TS]

  enough to try and box him which seems [TS]

  really dumb idea when any metal well [TS]

  they do show him kicking him and hurting [TS]

  a shin so i gave the arms up to that to [TS]

  his bad robot designed to have your [TS]

  heart only protected by a couple panels [TS]

  and not like you know a solid light box [TS]

  made out of carbonite but i do think [TS]

  that his death is kind of cool and I do [TS]

  like that obi-wan shoot him with our [TS]

  last er yeah i gotta dig that will be [TS]

  one spends a lot of time hanging off the [TS]

  edge of things and its really good guys [TS]

  I guess it's barely on his feet [TS]

  the the really depressing thing about [TS]

  this fight is like for lightsabers [TS]

  should be a really freaking cool fight [TS]

  like it really should [TS]

  well I cool when he first deploys it [TS]

  well it is except for the fact that then [TS]

  anything moves so fast yeah and isn't [TS]

  again the medium the medium to close [TS]

  shot that you can't tell what the heck's [TS]

  going on it's just light everywhere [TS]

  there's light and not actually fighting [TS]

  or choreography or interesting [TS]

  yeah can like we're terrible [TS]

  choreography someone online told me as [TS]

  like as I was watching this and tweeting [TS]

  about it someone like episode one has [TS]

  the best fight scenes I'm like you know [TS]

  what [TS]

  that's true it has much better fighter [TS]

  than any of the rest of the movies [TS]

  well I don't know where their stunt [TS]

  coordinator went but like yeah [TS]

  apparently they it was rape [TS]

  unfortunately when they cut our [TS]

  townhouse [TS]

  they also car trailer park in half and [TS]

  he's like nope can't work for you guys [TS]

  anymore sorry we have another instance [TS]

  here of obi-wan dropping his freaking [TS]

  lightsaber again ya feel it mr. said yes [TS]

  the wii remote strap but he does have [TS]

  the he that allows him to shoot groups [TS]

  with a blaster which is it is a kind of [TS]

  cool moment because that's the a han [TS]

  Solo away thousands of multiple times in [TS]

  the chest and road flare shoot out of [TS]

  his eyes [TS]

  yep it's clear that he has no longer at [TS]

  this point so why he's coughing I still [TS]

  don't know our IP general his weak point [TS]

  the lines so uncivilized got a half [TS]

  laughs out of me [TS]

  yeah i mean it never was ok but you know [TS]

  I get I think I that that fight scene is [TS]

  final but we don't really care that much [TS]

  about Grievous we do kind of care but we [TS]

  want because you're Gregory abused him [TS]

  with some sense of humanity a little [TS]

  charm [TS]

  yeah okay so the Jedi come to get [TS]

  Palpatine and this is a fight that I [TS]

  think I think John you talk about this [TS]

  on the talk show this is this is a fight [TS]

  where Russian many Jedi died very very [TS]

  very quickly and then there's a battle [TS]

  between Mace Windu and and Papa team i [TS]

  want to point out my my biggest beef [TS]

  with this entire movie starts here and [TS]

  that is that from this point on which is [TS]

  it at one hour and eight minutes right [TS]

  at the end of the grievous battle not a [TS]

  single positive thing happens in this [TS]

  film it is just relentlessly bleak [TS]

  there's there's nothing fun whatsoever [TS]

  there is no minor victories there's no [TS]

  comic relief not even of the you know we [TS]

  don't even have money or sutra do dat [TS]

  no Monica its there's nothing in it it [TS]

  seems like you know the chips were down [TS]

  an empire for a lot of it but there were [TS]

  still these little minor victories and [TS]

  there's that you know the escape from [TS]

  best been and all that stuff going on [TS]

  there are people to root for those Steve [TS]

  that's the thing there's someone to root [TS]

  for and hope that they survive in this [TS]

  case who do you want to survive that [TS]

  should lessen the pain not not make it [TS]

  worse haha but the fact is i mean even [TS]

  though i don't care about these people I [TS]

  still I just dread watching the rest of [TS]

  this movie because nothing good is going [TS]

  to happen it's just going to be crap [TS]

  fest after crapfest and you know it's [TS]

  just that's not what i wanted my happy [TS]

  funtime space adventure movie I i have [TS]

  to say the scene where Anakin tells mace [TS]

  windu i just learned a terrible truth a [TS]

  terrible line i expect them to break [TS]

  into song a little bit did mace windu [TS]

  seems really unsurprised by like a crap [TS]

  Molly better go arrest him and I wanted [TS]

  to samuel jackson be like mother that's [TS]

  right but he doesn't seem like he knows [TS]

  what to do with this rolls it's like [TS]

  that it's likely out they cast Sam [TS]

  Jackson and I asked him to act out of [TS]

  character be not Sam Jackson for this [TS]

  review please be anybody but Samuel [TS]

  Jackson will put you in the movie [TS]

  because you want to be in star wars but [TS]

  we're not going to let you be will give [TS]

  you a great fight scene at the end but [TS]

  you're gonna shave your eyebrows and [TS]

  make you say has some range if you've [TS]

  seen him another dramatic roles he has [TS]

  rain she can be downtrodden he could be [TS]

  he could become he could be some he's [TS]

  better as Nick Fury thousand allowed [TS]

  John he's better in the capital one card [TS]

  commercial but this was very I think it [TS]

  was very much riffing on with buzzes was [TS]

  his role in the jackie brown before this [TS]

  are after this because I'd really think [TS]

  that's the most similar character to [TS]

  what he was doing his mace windu that's [TS]

  the guy who mourn for they will [TS]

  definitely be a blow your head off or [TS]

  cut you're cut your lightsaber arm off [TS]

  but will also like will stop and think [TS]

  and figure things out [TS]

  he doesn't think very hard he says [TS]

  things like it's really dangerous to put [TS]

  Anakin and Palpatine together mere [TS]

  seconds after he's just done it [TS]

  yeah well though don't play myspace [TS]

  window for the words that he was forced [TS]

  to say that but by contract once again [TS]

  the the Emperor betters window fight is [TS]

  also really terrible it's it's very slow [TS]

  and ponderous in some ways and there's a [TS]

  huge reliance on the in McDermott's [TS]

  w-why jumping and flipping all over the [TS]

  place never doesn't look stupid like any [TS]

  scene where any of the Jedi do that like [TS]

  with Christopher Lee Orion McDermott [TS]

  anyone know you're not able to do that [TS]

  and yet it has to do the like jumping [TS]

  around and barrel rolling and spinning [TS]

  it's like it never looks good [TS]

  it's a crappy fight we should have [TS]

  desperately trying to get the high [TS]

  ground down [TS]

  yeah so that's a question that came up [TS]

  on the talk show about the scene as the [TS]

  essential question is is palpitating [TS]

  sandbag is he intentionally could he [TS]

  have killed mace windu easily yeah but [TS]

  worse than forced himself to now I don't [TS]

  think that's clear from the movie i [TS]

  don't think it's entirely clear because [TS]

  Mace Windu is put up is kind of like the [TS]

  most powerful Jedi and he you know it's [TS]

  unstoppable or whatever and you know it [TS]

  is is this gambit by palpating to say [TS]

  I'm gonna make it look like I'm about to [TS]

  die when really I'm not just for us [TS]

  Anakin to kill makes to bring over my [TS]

  side or was helping actually a little [TS]

  bit overwhelmed actually need and can to [TS]

  save him but knew that he would I think [TS]

  public is terrible acting answers that [TS]

  question ago [TS]

  oh I'm so we have to really soon we get [TS]

  that in that point he looks like he's [TS]

  sandbagging but all the previous points [TS]

  it looks like you're being legitimately [TS]

  beaten and if Anakin wasn't there to [TS]

  save you and like and then of course the [TS]

  problematic bars that may sighs I know [TS]

  we've got to kill him despite the fact [TS]

  that i totally don't do that you have to [TS]

  do it for purposes of the plot so you'll [TS]

  kill me whatever well because he is so [TS]

  powerful that I don't think I'll ever [TS]

  have command came killed the guy 20 [TS]

  minutes ago [TS]

  my argument is that is that Palpatine is [TS]

  trying to stay clean and beat Windu with [TS]

  lightsabers and all that and then in the [TS]

  end he get he uses the force lightning [TS]

  and gets all super wrinkly and goes like [TS]

  he taps the final thing he needs is [TS]

  always been standing part is like well [TS]

  if he was if he was sandbagging why [TS]

  would he have ruined his face that badly [TS]

  she's like okay that never makes sense [TS]

  to me anyways there's no explanation of [TS]

  what causes that's little to make him [TS]

  look like he does in the other movie yes [TS]

  I know [TS]

  so Tom yeah I'm all wrinkly now but [TS]

  that's oh I it was just an injury that [TS]

  but was it that's what that's why I [TS]

  think he wasn't sandbagging because you [TS]

  wouldn't let that happen to you but [TS]

  basically the bottom line is i think its [TS]

  poor moving making that we can't tell [TS]

  what the clearly intention was [TS]

  with sandbags when Anakin walks in and [TS]

  this car and has conned by the Emperor [TS]

  into believing that this is a terrible [TS]

  Jedi plot does he miss the like pile of [TS]

  dead Jedi bodies events in the entryway [TS]

  criticism a skilled them to businesses [TS]

  just got nuts now he's killing [TS]

  everything that's a terrible Jedi plot [TS]

  but if the Jedi have come to assassinate [TS]

  him he's probably gonna fight back [TS]

  no it's a terrible Jedi plot in the [TS]

  sense that it's just a really bad plan [TS]

  why did he bring the worst three idiot [TS]

  Jedi with him to take hunt Appetit those [TS]

  guys go down so fast what those whose [TS]

  available Jedi just stand there and get [TS]

  stabbed yeah the rest of my Holograms [TS]

  did you Jedi are supposed to have some [TS]

  level of like danger sense right it [TS]

  might be able to tell when battle craps [TS]

  about to happen not in this case where [TS]

  they all get some merrily despatched the [TS]

  poor Jenna to get killed on the flower [TS]

  planet she just raises her arms in the [TS]

  air and he has to the ground it's like [TS]

  the worst death ever on these three guys [TS]

  are supposed to be like Windows guard [TS]

  and they go down like the the battle [TS]

  droids know they like that the enemies [TS]

  in a ninja movies like a one-at-a-time [TS]

  they just throw themselves onto the in [TS]

  yours their minions the only have one [TS]

  hit point oh that's okay just go right [TS]

  down there have been only one of them [TS]

  then i will say that this scene makes me [TS]

  sad because it again out so much stuff [TS]

  that's like brought in from the baggage [TS]

  of the clone wars series but there are [TS]

  characters here that i actually grew to [TS]

  give a quick give a crap about because [TS]

  of the clone war series like the most [TS]

  damning thing to me in this entire thing [TS]

  is when you know obi-wan's clone buddy [TS]

  Cody tried to have me killed and [TS]

  Commander Cody is a great character in [TS]

  the series was like steadfast and always [TS]

  by his side and like the scenes the [TS]

  clone more episodes that deal with the [TS]

  whole like loans being programmed to [TS]

  essentially accept this order and kill [TS]

  Jedi is super creepy and done really [TS]

  well because to in those cases it's [TS]

  always like they're sort of fighting [TS]

  against it and they don't realize that [TS]

  they've been programmed for this one it [TS]

  just seems like they knew all along and [TS]

  their back pocket like up time to shoot [TS]

  this guy the clones are characterized at [TS]

  all in this entire previous series like [TS]

  their characters in the clone war CD [TS]

  series and this is what Roy they were [TS]

  Stormtroopers they might as well have [TS]

  their helmet on because they look at [TS]

  them and they're not really characters [TS]

  anyway so just the morning father I mean [TS]

  I think Lucas was afraid to make [TS]

  characters that would die that people [TS]

  would be worried about right like story [TS]

  several little kids but Master Yoda [TS]

  yeah mine somewhere between episode 2 [TS]

  and three coon guys to poor bloke une I [TS]

  loved him so [TS]

  Mace Windu dies and we get the crowning [TS]

  of of Darth Vader that you shall be [TS]

  known as let me check my relatives they [TS]

  did not maybe it was coming up we just [TS]

  had Darth Darth wacky white names [TS]

  haven't used yet dot fuzzy socks i was [TS]

  literally gone in alphabetical order em [TS]

  all [TS]

  torana sabado yes that when I really [TS]

  liked that was going to be for my third [TS]

  child when we have darker anus but I [TS]

  think we'll skip that go good to the [TS]

  Jedi Temple do what must be done lord [TS]

  Vader and this is what I wrote in my [TS]

  notes are that are we now to believe [TS]

  that his visions of POD maze death might [TS]

  actually just be fake put in his mind by [TS]

  Palpatine because he seems to do it all [TS]

  because of POD may so that would be I [TS]

  just saying maybe that's the one that [TS]

  that's another in a better movie like [TS]

  this is exactly so I am so proud every [TS]

  time I and every time I'm watching this [TS]

  movie and I'm thinking always this of [TS]

  sophisticated isn't the subtle and then [TS]

  I think of no this is not the now I've [TS]

  seen the thing that was on this movie [TS]

  this is not the fingerprint of someone [TS]

  who's thinking that people also please [TS]

  execute order 66 I've given you a list [TS]

  of orders from 1 to 60 61 being the best [TS]

  66 being the most evil order 65 was just [TS]

  to get him lunch [TS]

  they're not really in priority order [TS]

  don't forget 57 which is to pick up my [TS]

  spike business but it's interesting that [TS]

  he only has to say execute order 66 to [TS]

  like one-third of the clones and the [TS]

  rest of them you know the lead clone can [TS]

  just turn them in knot and they know [TS]

  exactly what ya don't ya lol but has a [TS]

  secret program oh yeah [TS]

  420 so here's here's where it becomes [TS]

  even dumber that the stormtroopers are [TS]

  apparently clones because it's clear [TS]

  here that these clones can actually hit [TS]

  somebody with a blaster [TS]

  yeah well they call them off django fat [TS]

  and should be able to get something the [TS]

  other fields that there's something bad [TS]

  going on and he stopped something never [TS]

  trust clones that's the lesson we've [TS]

  learned here never trust a clown yet [TS]

  jodoli says danger sense it's not so [TS]

  easy to just walk up and kill you too [TS]

  apparently ok so that was my to board my [TS]

  to notice about this one of them is how [TS]

  do none of the Jedi survived except Yoda [TS]

  nobody won all the rest of the world [TS]

  that bad [TS]

  they're terrible you know why would they [TS]

  are made to look they're made to look [TS]

  incompetent these characters you know [TS]

  who are like sitting around the joint [TS]

  account let's remember this this is sort [TS]

  of proven false because they they have [TS]

  this whole like actions quote actual [TS]

  quote sequence which they got to get [TS]

  back into the temple to turn on the [TS]

  budget to modify the beacon so its [TS]

  warning Jedi not to come not to come [TS]

  back [TS]

  which kind of indicates that they know [TS]

  there are others out there and just [TS]

  whatever whatever it is we're with tear [TS]

  up your membership cards definitely [TS]

  gonna be no more meetings can stop [TS]

  making lightsabers to pick up a pickup [TS]

  farm implements you are now in the [TS]

  you're now the SC business you're going [TS]

  to get started general Starr on the [TS]

  outer rim and just don't tell anybody [TS]

  about your past or started started a [TS]

  diner fifties diner maybe a cloner you [TS]

  got a lot of options [TS]

  the only reason i buy order 66 is the [TS]

  Jedi that were seen primarily are flying [TS]

  and otherwise working with clones that [TS]

  presumably they trust all of the people [TS]

  we show again we don't know just from [TS]

  watching this movie who they are but [TS]

  with clone wars back here you know [TS]

  backstory and all of that these are all [TS]

  fairly prominent Jedi leaders who have [TS]

  been working you know working on the [TS]

  front lines for the war so all of them [TS]

  presumably have clone troopers that they [TS]

  know and they trust and they've worked [TS]

  with so it's more it should be damning [TS]

  right it should be my you know who i [TS]

  thought had my back have now shot me in [TS]

  the back and I feel like a betrayal [TS]

  it is exactly it's a complete complete [TS]

  and total betrayal and that is why the [TS]

  Jedi fall so easily who are in sort of [TS]

  our are in turn around the clone [TS]

  troopers is that they don't expect it [TS]

  and they don't you know and they've been [TS]

  blinded by either Palpatine superpower [TS]

  or just hubris to not think that they [TS]

  might get hurt [TS]

  I i did think that was really cool it's [TS]

  sort of like oh my coma that's like [TS]

  imagine our country where it's like oh [TS]

  my god there's like a really really [TS]

  horrible we're being invaded [TS]

  don't worry each one of the Senators [TS]

  were going to have five army guys [TS]

  company you at all times oh great i got [TS]

  army guy got a personal 505 army guy [TS]

  guard like know they're there to make [TS]

  sure that when the final order comes [TS]

  there five people to shoot you [TS]

  I like that wasn't that wasn't there so [TS]

  many times so many symbols of this could [TS]

  have been a really really good [TS]

  plot a really really good plan but Jedi [TS]

  sense when other Jedi or anybody dies [TS]

  like that the whole reason that Yoda [TS]

  lives like oh he senses the other one [TS]

  die unless they kill them in exactly [TS]

  precisely the same on all the other ones [TS]

  are you there spidey sense to mix things [TS]

  are gonna have to be tingling all [TS]

  skilled at the same time [TS]

  Yodas a little further away and so with [TS]

  this man is because he's got a feeling [TS]

  he gets like oh something terrible's [TS]

  happening which is why when the Clone [TS]

  Trooper coming up behind him he loses [TS]

  his head in two seconds which is you [TS]

  know appropriate realistic possible that [TS]

  Yoda special the arm so Anakin goes to [TS]

  the Jedi Temple and kills all the little [TS]

  kids because it might save his secret [TS]

  wife yeah that's that's his logic I i [TS]

  believe i did the whole thing is [TS]

  motivated by crazy dream and his logic [TS]

  is if I kill these kids i will it will [TS]

  save my wife who will surely will surely [TS]

  still love me after I kill these kids [TS]

  man in secret alternate movie what I [TS]

  would love to have seen was Annika goes [TS]

  into the Jedi camp temple finds the kids [TS]

  heard them all into a room and it's [TS]

  basically like there are people [TS]

  attacking the the temple please don't [TS]

  come out hide in here then he goes in [TS]

  search of the other adult Jedi kills the [TS]

  adult Jedi he hasn't gotten all of the [TS]

  kids tiny little kid [TS]

  seize him seize him killing the Jedi [TS]

  runs off to tell the other kids [TS]

  yeah pretty much runs opportunity of the [TS]

  chaos being our tree up with your [TS]

  lifestyle chopping all of our Jedi [TS]

  teachers to bits but that but then he [TS]

  feels forced to kill the kids and then [TS]

  it's not just I'm sorry for he comes [TS]

  back to the room with the kids and his [TS]

  guys we're going to Chancellor [TS]

  Palpatine's daycare from now on or there [TS]

  are no young and stupid Jedi Temple to [TS]

  begin a young man hanging ding yeah when [TS]

  they find the bodies later apparently [TS]

  these children died of a broken heart as [TS]

  another character will later in this [TS]

  movie I guess there's not a mark on them [TS]

  didn't have the guts to say what they [TS]

  want you to think that he killed them [TS]

  but they didn't want to show a single [TS]

  scorch mark let alone blood or anything [TS]

  like that someone who seemed to have [TS]

  been killed by a lightsaber [TS]

  yeah they've been killed by lightsabers [TS]

  maybe their next walk I they say but [TS]

  they don't show it like it's made to [TS]

  show a bunch of kids laying down okay [TS]

  this isn't a dark movie job or something [TS]

  like they showed him on fire with his [TS]

  little calculator but our land and the [TS]

  turkey out thanks ok I want to know [TS]

  who's stupid kid is it that says Master [TS]

  Skywalker there are too many of the [TS]

  what are we going to do because that is [TS]

  the worst line reading in any Star Wars [TS]

  fan well that was a kid and I think [TS]

  Hayden Christensen who is an adult has [TS]

  way worse line readings man no no it's [TS]

  so so bad we get a and we also have our [TS]

  Chewbacca cameo around now which is like [TS]

  that couch Ibaka ok it's on a show you [TS]

  what it takes off in his almond in [TS]

  something yes that's right Jimmy Smith's [TS]

  we get to see he runs away run away [TS]

  Jimmy Smith sits back and still becoming [TS]

  president someday Jimmy and you go and [TS]

  he goes back to the white ship that we [TS]

  do this from the from the original star [TS]

  wars the white ship with black curtains [TS]

  I'll be one does what he always does [TS]

  which is land on a planet and do [TS]

  something and take off that's all he [TS]

  ever ever does it does it again many [TS]

  Jedi have been killed [TS]

  we get some nice use of the pot the [TS]

  passive voice their many Jedi have been [TS]

  killed by who [TS]

  somebody that you know knows he doesn't [TS]

  want you to look at the tapes he knows [TS]

  what's on them and this is when i hit my [TS]

  natalie portman despair and I wrote down [TS]

  if only we believed anything about this [TS]

  if only Padme were anything but just the [TS]

  girlfriend she does nothing worst fake [TS]

  crying Natalie sorry i love you [TS]

  worst fake crying I i like seeing the [TS]

  white ship the the you know what it was [TS]

  that the tension of Santa far for ya [TS]

  Fauria I like seeing that that would [TS]

  that means i remembered a good movie [TS]

  well I saw that part yeah to Steve's [TS]

  point about there being no comic relief [TS]

  this really depressing scene when Anakin [TS]

  goes back to talk to Padme and then r2 [TS]

  who's been with him and like this is the [TS]

  thing that really upset yeah is that was [TS]

  our to witness to all the younger and it [TS]

  was ok with it right and so like having [TS]

  the droids be a party to Anakin's life [TS]

  totally corrupt them in our view because [TS]

  they're now tainted by association and [TS]

  so we get the line where Threepio says [TS]

  well he is under a lot of stress actual [TS]

  I think the most repeated line in this [TS]

  film though is our to stay with the ship [TS]

  so yes always being totally like I'm in [TS]

  the ship [TS]

  I've had to stay with the ship i am [TS]

  going to ship [TS]

  yeah it was ok with the killing and mass [TS]

  murdering of innocence my my heart will [TS]

  be crushed into Anakin comes to check on [TS]

  padmé and the baby oh by the way I just [TS]

  killed a bunch of toddlers [TS]

  yeah i'm gonna be a great dad blood on [TS]

  my hands sorry those are baby I did it [TS]

  for you look as you're gonna be okay I [TS]

  did it I did it for you baby yeah that [TS]

  dream I had about you is totally not [TS]

  gonna come true now i know you're really [TS]

  worried about I'm gonna be the greatest [TS]

  dad ever if ever we need to kill our [TS]

  kids I don't totally done that I also i [TS]

  can guarantee our son is going to be top [TS]

  of the classic Young's but here's a [TS]

  here's the most important part of the [TS]

  movie then is what happens next which is [TS]

  can you can you can you guess I have [TS]

  initiated a special session of Congress [TS]

  to blah blah blah boring boring boring I [TS]

  think that got me is there at some point [TS]

  I think it's the scene where the obi-wan [TS]

  is looking at the security footage he [TS]

  said something like oh we better go you [TS]

  know should we go confront the Emperor [TS]

  something I'm like really were already [TS]

  calling the Emperor like a one-day and [TS]

  proclaiming is going to empire we're [TS]

  just going to get that choice releases [TS]

  no I can't believe it [TS]

  it can't be true yeah okay yeah I can [TS]

  kind of believe that kid was always [TS]

  kinda screwed also did you notice that [TS]

  as soon as Anakin is fully on board as [TS]

  being Darth Vader they give him the evil [TS]

  ship to fly [TS]

  oh yeah it's like now no now that you're [TS]

  a Sith Lord you get the cool evil ship [TS]

  the park i also don't get why everybody [TS]

  in the Senate is that happy about the [TS]

  Empire they're like yeah I didn't they [TS]

  didn't spend any time explaining no I [TS]

  like people would go along with this [TS]

  this is how Liberty dies with thunderous [TS]

  applause yeah it's set up for that [TS]

  terrible wine which which in some ways [TS]

  could have been a good line in in that [TS]

  mystical other universe movie but like [TS]

  it doesn't make any sense here because [TS]

  we don't [TS]

  despite all the time we spent on [TS]

  politics none of those politics have a [TS]

  substance we have no understanding of [TS]

  why anybody would be excited about being [TS]

  in the Empire this is the official start [TS]

  remember the scene in patent [TS]

  where the there's this final scene in [TS]

  the the german bunker where every [TS]

  general is just burning papers as fast [TS]

  as they possibly can before the Allies [TS]

  come in this is to me that's like the [TS]

  the start of the part of this movie [TS]

  we're like we just have to start burning [TS]

  papers we start have to we have to start [TS]

  making sure that everything that happens [TS]

  after this rib for the 20 years between [TS]

  this movie and episode 4 makes some kind [TS]

  of sense they need to have needs to make [TS]

  sure that the emperor has absolutely got [TS]

  to achieve victory here he doesn't have [TS]

  to take out the Senate he doesn't have [TS]

  to would fight a long long campaign he [TS]

  is the victorious champion of a force of [TS]

  light that has that has gotten rid of [TS]

  those people who are filing those tax [TS]

  impound forms yes incorrectly whatever [TS]

  the hell was the train from someone says [TS]

  butte you know so yeah hooray so it [TS]

  isn't it's it and oh my god he was so [TS]

  horribly scarred he will bear like the [TS]

  that proudly the symbol of how much he [TS]

  sacrificed to make us would make us [TS]

  victory victorious and feel good about [TS]

  ourselves so it's almost like the [TS]

  Falklands at Falkland Islands conflict [TS]

  located in britain in like 1080p digital [TS]

  um I I like i mentioned nute Gunray [TS]

  earlier i'll enjoyed you can ray dying [TS]

  at this point it's like they're killing [TS]

  a part of episode 1 and i approve i have [TS]

  that line actually written down her a [TS]

  he's going to kill new country i know [TS]

  and i wrote two races to live is also [TS]

  align here somewhere I forget who says [TS]

  it but he says the Chancellor will not [TS]

  be able to control the thousands of star [TS]

  systems without keeping the Senate [TS]

  intact which one person he does outside [TS]

  for ya I'd like 20 years later 20 years [TS]

  and then he has all the Senate you know [TS]

  but it does seem clearly a setup line to [TS]

  be like all right we're gonna get back [TS]

  to this is that it's a tie back to well [TS]

  how how we get the no-fear will keep [TS]

  local systems in line fear what fear of [TS]

  this battle station but it's not built [TS]

  yet so you know you gotta keep yourself [TS]

  around just for fun and a hell of a long [TS]

  time to build that battle station it is [TS]

  they built they built the new one in [TS]

  like a couple years but now they built [TS]

  them both the same time clearly yyyy a 4 [TS]

  11 and build whatever you can afford the [TS]

  price yes it's it's it's like [TS]

  pharmaceuticals you know the first death [TS]

  star takes two [TS]

  cost 80 trillion the second one costs [TS]

  only eighteen cents lost i didn't really [TS]

  finish the second i know they didn't [TS]

  they just made operational but it was [TS]

  still pretty much just superstructure [TS]

  this is like the superstructure my [TS]

  comment about Anakin killing all the the [TS]

  the sad racist red Trade Federation [TS]

  folks is the key if you the best he's [TS]

  standing out on that balcony is all [TS]

  cowled up and supposed to look angry and [TS]

  zooms in and you see is and cry yes [TS]

  singles hear you cry about the Ottoman [TS]

  I'm gonna die when that was the best [TS]

  across a lot only kids was fine i went [TS]

  back had me five minutes later and I was [TS]

  like everything's gonna be fine but i [TS]

  can't kill nute Gunray and it really [TS]

  upset me i have a newcomer reaction [TS]

  finger [TS]

  I've known him since I was a little kid [TS]

  your Jedi now I need don't know I [TS]

  remember when you were small and [TS]

  destroyed my ship accidentally exactly [TS]

  that then there's a scene in which he [TS]

  finally like collect like opens his [TS]

  mails been piling up [TS]

  congratulations or the Jedi Council [TS]

  confers upon you the title of Master [TS]

  sorry took us so long but you know we've [TS]

  been busy god dammit and the title of [TS]

  weepy a Sith Lord ghost in her a lot of [TS]

  iron eyes Cody moments in Anakin's shots [TS]

  here is very distressed about all the [TS]

  litter in the galaxy everybody decides [TS]

  to go to lava world seemed like that [TS]

  that led Padme says besides Threepio [TS]

  will look after me least reassuring [TS]

  wherever Threepio really get short [TS]

  shrift in this movie doesn't he doesn't [TS]

  have like three lines and all ya no puns [TS]

  he wanted to like his puns but for [TS]

  pete's sake also obi-wan Stow's away in [TS]

  the John of the ship [TS]

  yeah it's now carries that I also like [TS]

  whenever they whenever the Jedi use [TS]

  their force powers to close doors it is [TS]

  my favorite thing ever because he could [TS]

  especially push the button but even they [TS]

  just closed or the uh this is where I [TS]

  really kind of run out of any respect [TS]

  for or like of POD may well here's [TS]

  here's one thing you have to respect [TS]

  okay she's gonna give birth in a matter [TS]

  of hours to full seemingly to two [TS]

  seemingly full-term babies and and she [TS]

  prances down the walkway of that ship [TS]

  like like she is light as a feather yeah [TS]

  like she's like I'm going to give birth [TS]

  in hours and but look to poop you know I [TS]

  mean she's not very big it's fine she [TS]

  supposed to be pregnant with twins [TS]

  doesn't [TS]

  really quite work but she's just running [TS]

  around so she is a superwoman [TS]

  so in this scene again trying to set up [TS]

  Anakin as a different character than [TS]

  we've actually seen he says we could [TS]

  overthrow the Emperor and prevent rule [TS]

  together is where other and mothers for [TS]

  power come from nowhere [TS]

  yeah but her response to that is I don't [TS]

  believe what I'm hearing and i'm not [TS]

  sure why because this kind of fascist [TS]

  rambling is pretty par for the course [TS]

  for what Anakin is busted out in their [TS]

  political discussion so far i thought [TS]

  that was just natalie portman saying [TS]

  that you're right now it doesn't this is [TS]

  the best this is the best mean the worst [TS]

  line in the movie where it in this scene [TS]

  what you know George like what we need [TS]

  to have happened here is that Anakin [TS]

  needs to brake pad my heart [TS]

  ok pad me line ready yet Anakin you're [TS]

  breaking my heart you can't just write [TS]

  that you have to show us you can't just [TS]

  like I know you anymore stop now that [TS]

  person's name and you like it's a lazy [TS]

  flyball of things that you need to show [TS]

  on scene showing someone breaking [TS]

  someone's heart is not hard to do like [TS]

  it's already darn easy like a ball that [TS]

  it's not very subtle but have her to [TS]

  have her say the lines like you don't [TS]

  understand how writing works [TS]

  what are you doing at the delivery is [TS]

  different like I wrote down my note here [TS]

  was saying vs acting and so it really is [TS]

  just like these people are just reading [TS]

  lines these our actors who signed a [TS]

  three-picture deal they bore they were [TS]

  regretting that after picture 1 they [TS]

  can't get out of it the only way this [TS]

  line works is if she's sarcastic oh I [TS]

  Anakin you're breaking my heart [TS]

  that's the only way it works is written [TS]

  yeah it's it's a it's really really [TS]

  really badly forced jokes are my [TS]

  allegiance is to democracy most boring [TS]

  democracy versus tyranny there's another [TS]

  great line if you're not with me you're [TS]

  my enemy right now you can't you can't [TS]

  say you're against me because he didn't [TS]

  want to do a cliché read the line that [TS]

  immediately follows that is this only a [TS]

  Sith deals in absolutes I have to tell [TS]

  you obi-wan that's an absolute you not [TS]

  exactly we're just like unintentional [TS]

  intentional irony from that is unselfish [TS]

  we're completely unselfish where ya [TS]

  George Lucas or whoever goes wrote that [TS]

  line but I'm gonna say George Lucas how [TS]

  do you not realize that as you're [TS]

  writing that what this is a really good [TS]

  like it here's the thing about this [TS]

  movie is like we talked about week on [TS]

  the bad movies things we watch the core [TS]

  and stuff like if [TS]

  show normal person this movie they will [TS]

  laugh it seems that are not supposed to [TS]

  be because you can't like they're not [TS]

  they don't know this must have any [TS]

  reverence for Star Wars or anything [TS]

  they'll watch it and they'll laugh at [TS]

  the way you laugh at a bad movie and the [TS]

  only reason we're not able to do that [TS]

  for because we're so upset that they [TS]

  bring this is because here is pouring [TS]

  down your face stare at the screen [TS]

  yeah that's right just the single Tier [TS]

  one and what I say is I don't like this [TS]

  movie that's because you're so in love [TS]

  Jason no let's take a break to tell you [TS]

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  future results places as well from calm [TS]

  to read the full disclosure [TS]

  how'd I do all right back to the show so [TS]

  let's see if there's a duel then suffice [TS]

  to say there's a hat [TS]

  I don't think we can suffice it to say [TS]

  because this like they're about it [TS]

  reminded me so many so much as man of [TS]

  steel remember a man of steel when you [TS]

  have action figures banging against each [TS]

  other yeah this lightsaber battle is [TS]

  like at this point you're totally you're [TS]

  totally signed out you truly checked out [TS]

  because of [TS]

  the ridiculousness of this entire thing [TS]

  and like they're going to hit [TS]

  lightsabers against each other's [TS]

  repeatedly for a long time with no [TS]

  dialogue pretty much like they don't [TS]

  talk to it they talk a little bit in the [TS]

  beginning and then it's like bang bang [TS]

  bang it's just like Oh bouncing around [TS]

  it was MIT's Man of Steel all over again [TS]

  any drama this saber battle might have [TS]

  had is completely dissipated by a bear [TS]

  around minute 40 not not short enough it [TS]

  was is what I'm trying to tell you who [TS]

  you know the lightsaber battle at the [TS]

  end of episode one isn't bad and this is [TS]

  not that this is part of it is being [TS]

  drained of any interest in these [TS]

  characters part of it is that it is like [TS]

  videogame figures banging up against [TS]

  each other [TS]

  I also feel that at some point right [TS]

  around here maybe when Steve cited a [TS]

  little bit earlier where it's sort of [TS]

  like nothing good happens past this [TS]

  point I feel like the movie shifts from [TS]

  being the obligatory list of references [TS]

  to the wii now we've this is the part we [TS]

  wrote early that we knew was going to be [TS]

  the end of the trilogy and then [TS]

  everything else is backfilled to that [TS]

  moment I feel like we're in that moment [TS]

  now we're now we're completely on rails [TS]

  and everything is just obligatory it has [TS]

  to be this way i wrote in a fanzine in [TS]

  1978 the darth vader lost you know was [TS]

  scarred in lava and so there has to be a [TS]

  lava planet and there has to be a battle [TS]

  and it is all a blanket or actors dots [TS]

  and it has to be bigger it's like it's [TS]

  like the bad version of Return of the [TS]

  Jedi we're like we needed even bigger [TS]

  space battle i think they pull that off [TS]

  its like this needs to be the biggest [TS]

  lightsaber battle the most banging of [TS]

  lightsabers together and they did that [TS]

  for sheer number of times two [TS]

  lightsabers hit each other this probably [TS]

  is the record but it's just monotonous [TS]

  and there's no pace to it and like i [TS]

  said i don't even talk to each other [TS]

  have the same compared to like the you [TS]

  know Empire Strikes vaccine with the [TS]

  with a battle that takes probably the [TS]

  same amount of time with like one [TS]

  ten-thousandth the number lightsaber [TS]

  clashes in 20 times the dialogue where [TS]

  should this not also be the ultimate yes [TS]

  decision sewing jamming the decision [TS]

  point of these characters there's one [TS]

  there's one moment in this that just [TS]

  makes me completely it it bring it like [TS]

  anakin it breaks my heart for the poor [TS]

  people of X guys because there's that [TS]

  moment where there are clashing and [TS]

  they're they're standing on some sort of [TS]

  a pipe or something and their [TS]

  lightsabers meet and then there's like a [TS]

  gigantic wave of lava that shoots up [TS]

  find him and I gotta see that and not [TS]

  think if this film had been done right [TS]

  how absolutely beautiful that scene [TS]

  would have been a helping hand moving [TS]

  and amazing it would have been and [TS]

  instead it's just completely wasted on [TS]

  this piece of crap this okay we've got [TS]

  it we've got an awesome fight that's [TS]

  great [TS]

  lots of banging of lightsabers against [TS]

  other lightsabers the whole point of [TS]

  this fight should be this is the final [TS]

  moment not in lightsabers but in [TS]

  characters where obi-wan and Anakin are [TS]

  making their final arguments with each [TS]

  other right and that argument should be [TS]

  about well the jedis the Jedi is better [TS]

  you need to rethink this and all that [TS]

  and instead it's just where we're [TS]

  enemies now let's fight and see who wins [TS]

  and it's it's it's a shame this should [TS]

  this is the tragic core of the story [TS]

  except it's not it's just another [TS]

  lightsaber back even more than that [TS]

  Jason I think it comes down to the [TS]

  personal relationship these guys you [TS]

  know in a in a ham-fisted Lee delivered [TS]

  line from everyone later [TS]

  these guys are best friends these guys [TS]

  are others and your stretches and that's [TS]

  the falling out of two people who are [TS]

  like really good friends and that [TS]

  happens and it's so easy like again like [TS]

  John's point about the like breaking [TS]

  your heart seemed like that's something [TS]

  that is not hard to show but we want to [TS]

  feel that these guys who have suffered [TS]

  and been through so much together have [TS]

  just finally come to this these [TS]

  loggerheads and is the only way to get [TS]

  that out is that they're physically [TS]

  going to fight and and yet none of that [TS]

  it's totally robbed of any emotion it's [TS]

  a damn shame and how much more meaning [TS]

  that would have if if if Anakin had sort [TS]

  of gradually moved to a sort of semi [TS]

  reasonable position on the Sith instead [TS]

  of killing younglings right yeah [TS]

  also i am i'm reminded again to go back [TS]

  to the original trilogy of you know when [TS]

  last we met you were the master I I kind [TS]

  of wanted that here I wanted to feel [TS]

  more like this battle is a really open [TS]

  one holding it holding back because he [TS]

  can't bear and and there's a little of [TS]

  it but I felt like I wanted to feel like [TS]

  obi-wan's the master here he's got this [TS]

  the only reason this goes on is he's [TS]

  trying very hard not to kill Anakin you [TS]

  didn't have a real hard time leveling [TS]

  the power [TS]

  I'm a bit like the balance and writing [TS]

  40 isn't always the window the most [TS]

  powerful what about yoga but Hannigan's [TS]

  also be more powerful but in general [TS]

  obi-wan seems more as if you like the [TS]

  they don't have a good they never really [TS]

  established the power hierarchy of the [TS]

  Jedi despite the fact that they have [TS]

  explicit lines like my powers have [TS]

  doubled in blood like an 83 on the [TS]

  midi-chlorian scale it doesn't make [TS]

  sense how they stack up to each other [TS]

  which makes these which makes these [TS]

  scenes unclear again you know is obi-wan [TS]

  holding back is Palpatine holding back [TS]

  is like you never quite know where is [TS]

  the hierarchy of power so much clearer [TS]

  in the original trilogy you knew [TS]

  like what you know you knew how it went [TS]

  Emperor than Vader than luke and I can [TS]

  and it was born out and like you didn't [TS]

  think that that Luke was holding back [TS]

  and he could have defeated innovator and [TS]

  empire he wasn't like it was so clear [TS]

  and this it just it you know it makes [TS]

  that it makes you not care about them [TS]

  being lightsabers they save like the [TS]

  thing for the end where he actually says [TS]

  the lines like we were supposed to be [TS]

  friends like all right fine bad writing [TS]

  whatever but you just spent 20 minutes [TS]

  boring me by hitting your lightsabres [TS]

  together before you got to that seen you [TS]

  could have been doing that while you [TS]

  were fighting or in between and because [TS]

  the choreography could have been more [TS]

  impressive instead of having a visual [TS]

  effects come Center like there's some of [TS]

  the stuff makes no sense hero be one [TS]

  takes like a tactical retreat on to like [TS]

  a pylon or something like that and [TS]

  they're just beginning wedding where the [TS]

  robots they're robots that are doing the [TS]

  work at the in the planet which makes it [TS]

  even dumber because apparently I i was [TS]

  thinking like flying drugs with buckets [TS]

  seems like the least efficient way to do [TS]

  anything [TS]

  well then what are the odds that the [TS]

  flying bucket and the other flying [TS]

  platform happened to stay within light [TS]

  say that each other for the next week [TS]

  yeah they want to see a good fight too [TS]

  so you know there's no sweetheart it's [TS]

  the eight-year-old approach again like [TS]

  oh you'll be awesome lava different [TS]

  platforms in fact that not just that its [TS]

  fight choreography done by whoever it is [TS]

  is doing the video game design because [TS]

  to get can't remember what was that [TS]

  episode 2 in which drama dollars doing [TS]

  that I'm sorry in which apartment is [TS]

  doing the thing where she she lets you [TS]

  she finds herself like in a super mario [TS]

  land level [TS]

  yeah just jump over the swing of things [TS]

  and ducked out and then swing and now [TS]

  it's a left-to-right scroller thing it's [TS]

  like the problem [TS]

  yeah I'm surprised we don't get a donkey [TS]

  kong sound effect in some [TS]

  already had the cars and so does anybody [TS]

  want to talk about the tactical high [TS]

  ground that you have now I've got the [TS]

  high ground now an occasion you know [TS]

  like Darth Maul did that one time yeah [TS]

  and they have like they have this hold [TS]

  20 minutes scene of lights they're [TS]

  battling like they just didn't know how [TS]

  to end the like okay well this has to [TS]

  come to a conclusion somehow it's like I [TS]

  can't think of anything I must kill op [TS]

  have them stop talk to each other [TS]

  establish a nonsensical premise that [TS]

  will lead to the final event which will [TS]

  be that obi-wan winds like a mile of [TS]

  just said ok now the fight must end and [TS]

  the script says I should win so pleased [TS]

  you can cut off my legs now that they [TS]

  might as well done that it was associate [TS]

  and uh and the other thing that we [TS]

  should address i want to talk about [TS]

  universal Palpatine but we'll do that in [TS]

  a minute the other thing we need to [TS]

  address here is the fact that i don't [TS]

  really want to hurt you but you're gonna [TS]

  make me but once I've cut off your legs [TS]

  and your burning to death i'm just going [TS]

  to lady take a walk [TS]

  yes well I mean so here's the thing is [TS]

  like I actually like obi-wan's speech [TS]

  it's not the best it's not well written [TS]

  but it there is an element of [TS]

  genuineness and ewan mcgregor actually [TS]

  manages to convey certain emotions [TS]

  entirely the acting which is then [TS]

  completely ruined by the fact that he [TS]

  shows him no mercy yeah yeah just walked [TS]

  away like well you're supposed to be my [TS]

  brother but i'm not going to do anything [TS]

  even he's your suffering in anyway so [TS]

  now you're winners community of leaving [TS]

  the guy there to possibly survive and be [TS]

  turned into a semi robots huh [TS]

  the odds are solo ste I i will say that [TS]

  i can i did kinda by that because they [TS]

  were again if we need adventure that's [TS]

  this is good acting on the McGregor's [TS]

  part but I did get the the sense that ok [TS]

  well Anakin is dead [TS]

  okay he's gone he's dead I'm he's never [TS]

  going to come back i now owe no [TS]

  allegiance to this Anakin shape thing [TS]

  that's in front of me but still at the [TS]

  same time it's just there is an element [TS]

  of it that the Jedi are supposed to be [TS]

  bigger than that right and that's what [TS]

  we want from obi-wan is he supposed to [TS]

  be the bigger man and I think the main [TS]

  thing is that that advocates character [TS]

  is played by hayden christensen always [TS]

  comes off as the younger person in the [TS]

  relationship he always comes off as the [TS]

  whiny child and he never he never sort [TS]

  of comes into his own and takes agency [TS]

  and becomes like that [TS]

  i am now actively working towards a goal [TS]

  counter to yours is always tired of like [TS]

  a big brother little brother [TS]

  relationship where you never truly [TS]

  believe like well now you've made your [TS]

  choice and now you've made your bed now [TS]

  you have the line it's like and Anakin [TS]

  didn't make any bet he's just confused [TS]

  stupid kid and that's why you can I [TS]

  can't buy likely that thing that and he [TS]

  was saying was like it just doesn't it [TS]

  doesn't make sense that he would that he [TS]

  would say well mike is that you would [TS]

  still like the whole audience feels the [TS]

  whole time he's just a stupid idiot and [TS]

  doesn't have any idea what's going on [TS]

  and you will never keep it but the [TS]

  stupid idiot really left the movie when [TS]

  he started killing kids huh that's why [TS]

  it doesn't make sense of it but then but [TS]

  then what's the point of the whole you [TS]

  were my brother Anakin I loved you [TS]

  speech mean if he's if he thinks [TS]

  Anakin's gone and that the whole point [TS]

  of having that speech is pretty much out [TS]

  the window 2 i'm not saying that ever [TS]

  all this makes like really good tight [TS]

  one thing is it's more like it really is [TS]

  like this is I think this is true if i [TS]

  call this as we're talking about this [TS]

  movie we really are trying to piece [TS]

  together the wreckage of an airplane and [TS]

  trying to figure out what happened or [TS]

  which or or actually better yet I think [TS]

  it's more like an archaeological dig [TS]

  where we've got all these parts that [TS]

  we've dug up and we think they fit [TS]

  together this way and we're trying to [TS]

  figure out I know this is a mess of box [TS]

  of rocks and springs were looking at but [TS]

  where they tried to make an astrolabe [TS]

  where they're trying to make a [TS]

  calculator device and we can each try to [TS]

  figure out what they did for me I feel [TS]

  as though the intent of what what that [TS]

  scene was meant to do is just as ob1 [TS]

  said in an episode for that at that but [TS]

  I'm sorry episode 5 in an empire at the [TS]

  mall at that point by sort of from [TS]

  certain point of view Anakin was dead [TS]

  and there was no coming back from that [TS]

  i'm saying i keep thinking what would [TS]

  have made Anakin or obi-wan I'm [TS]

  abandoning him better [TS]

  I i rather a different a different movie [TS]

  to let him out ok ok but no I actually I [TS]

  think if if a a bunch of clones or [TS]

  whatever had been had arrived and were [TS]

  shooting at him right if it was any kind [TS]

  of like like that's why that's the worst [TS]

  thing it's not so hard like you get your [TS]

  a movie with war is it getting the same [TS]

  thing without Padme dies it's so easy to [TS]

  kill people in the legitimate believable [TS]

  matter if they find these preposterous [TS]

  ways to kill major characters and have [TS]

  major plot points that like it's not [TS]

  hard people i want obi-wan to be under [TS]

  fire and not be able to finish the job [TS]

  and say maybe I'm sorry Anakin yeah and [TS]

  and leave and leave him to the clones [TS]

  and know that he's not gonna die is [TS]

  horribly right right Palpatine shows up [TS]

  and he and he runs and and that's the [TS]

  end of it but instead it's much more [TS]

  like smell you later or I don't think [TS]

  which is just so lame I or at least [TS]

  think that he's dead like that's the [TS]

  other thing like if he's like body like [TS]

  slid between the beneath the lava or [TS]

  something right then he would actually [TS]

  be totally dead [TS]

  no no we learn from what we learned from [TS]

  the core movie that he would float float [TS]

  on top of it for wine so I yo diversity [TS]

  Palpatine I wanted to say that this is [TS]

  this is the scene that this is the same [TS]

  that I kinda like the scene and here's [TS]

  why I kinda like it [TS]

  it is the best use of the Senate chamber [TS]

  set yeah and all three movies because [TS]

  after seeing the stupid Senate chamber [TS]

  for all the boring Senate things and [TS]

  stupid George are giving speeches and [TS]

  all of that in this in this scene all [TS]

  those little floating balls get hurled [TS]

  around with the forest during a fight [TS]

  between Yoda and Palpatine and I took [TS]

  like the death of Newt Gunray I took [TS]

  great Glee and the destruction of the [TS]

  boring Senate chamber in the in the [TS]

  fight it's not much of a fight and it's [TS]

  sort of sad that you're dead ends up [TS]

  crawling through like a ventilation duct [TS]

  and endurance he was honest [TS]

  yeah there's a yoda pajamas so cute yeah [TS]

  we've seen two fights at this point [TS]

  where the Great Master Yoda [TS]

  where the Great Master Yoda [TS]

  frankly kind of blows that lightsaber [TS]

  whirring he's completely failed to take [TS]

  down [TS]

  Count Dooku and now we completely fails [TS]

  to do anything against Palpatine right [TS]

  well he didn't believe Alice but other [TS]

  people point out he fights them to a [TS]

  draw by himself so it seems like we had [TS]

  one or two other people with him he [TS]

  would have the upper hand and they take [TS]

  care of this guy but then he crawls off [TS]

  with his tail between his legs and it [TS]

  doesn't have a tail would never see yo [TS]

  to win a lightsaber fight is what i'm [TS]

  saying if you're gonna show Yoda doing [TS]

  lightsaber fights which i think is a bad [TS]

  idea to begin with [TS]

  have him win one yeah he's supposed to [TS]

  be badass it was it was more or less a [TS]

  dry didn't win but yeah like heaven and [TS]

  the problem if that is his reaction is [TS]

  like well now i guess i have to go into [TS]

  exile is like you were so close that was [TS]

  basically a drawing you're by yourself [TS]

  if only you'd brought obi-wan with you [TS]

  but he had to go to a lot of worldwide [TS]

  Palpatine also was by himself i should [TS]

  point it was pretty even technically the [TS]

  whole thing is just I don't know I find [TS]

  it ridiculously silly i find that the [TS]

  whole Senate chamber i agree to the [TS]

  center chamber is ridiculous [TS]

  although this time for the first time [TS]

  was the they ride the little Chancellor [TS]

  platform upwards I'm like well that is [TS]

  actually really unsafe like what if the [TS]

  jets are fell off of patterns are for [TS]

  Samuel baby i was a lot there's a lot of [TS]

  pointy things in the chamber it's also [TS]

  kind of ridiculous that they just [TS]

  somehow end up rising up through the [TS]

  floor it's got a real Marx Brothers feel [TS]

  to it [TS]

  well you think that's good it's the [TS]

  swinging on ropes training Anakin and [TS]

  obi-wan fight that really got me like oh [TS]

  that's my ropes Tarzan noise that time [TS]

  let's be honest this is the star wars [TS]

  equivalent of the chase through the [TS]

  warehouse in Indiana Jones and the [TS]

  Kingdom of the Crystal Skull right it [TS]

  other than the fact that great of the [TS]

  Lost Ark is a treasure and start and [TS]

  service episode 1 is not and so but it [TS]

  is that is the wacky slap sticky [TS]

  overblown fight scene that demolishes [TS]

  asset that you know from a previous [TS]

  movie it's the same thing you have to [TS]

  also realize that they had to fix this [TS]

  whole Senate chamber because the [TS]

  Senators and dissolve like another 20 [TS]

  years while I can maybe the Senate just [TS]

  has to use the broken chamber for the [TS]

  next 20 years and nobody like what [TS]

  happened here was our Emperor involved [TS]

  in some service trays lightsaber battle [TS]

  can we dissolve the Senate now [TS]

  nope nope gotta keep something if your [TS]

  saucer was one of the ones destroyed you [TS]

  have to sit in the bleachers [TS]

  we also get the great mind-bending line [TS]

  at an end your rule is and not short [TS]

  enough [TS]

  oh yeah like oh like Lucas just lost [TS]

  track of how to make your talking NOT [TS]

  some ridiculous i do like the scene [TS]

  where he walks in the Imperial Guards [TS]

  are there again a great instance of [TS]

  Palpatine havin Taylor those costumes [TS]

  for them already ready to get started [TS]

  dispatches them immediately right there [TS]

  were there were all so excited to [TS]

  finally get the Wyndemere Chairman's my [TS]

  first day on the job is pretty great i [TS]

  like this helmet they all got have been [TS]

  killed by you and break out the red [TS]

  outfits [TS]

  yeah surprise we have to let Taylor so [TS]

  they're Taylor's they've got green red [TS]

  outfits that right down the street from [TS]

  the cloner planet so is anybody wonder [TS]

  to jump back to a mannequin popping they [TS]

  wonder why Palpatine bothers to save him [TS]

  he's mostly dead at that point it's like [TS]

  you can do he had another running out of [TS]

  this shows what made him out of [TS]

  midi-chlorians it's he's this guy that's [TS]

  his son dude and now he's got all the [TS]

  power in the world over him because he's [TS]

  going to be this totally messed up guy [TS]

  now [TS]

  oh he's got he's got a lot of power to [TS]

  manipulate the force he's a good guy [TS]

  have also again a piece a piece we [TS]

  sipped from a much better movie he [TS]

  actually legitimately likes him and [TS]

  seeing yourself season him something he [TS]

  can really cultivate also I my tailors [TS]

  have designed this black suit that's [TS]

  really obviously you don't find a minion [TS]

  this stupid every single day man put him [TS]

  in the medical capsule and they put him [TS]

  in a medical left thing and they treat [TS]

  me like wheel along and it's a thing [TS]

  that's totally open the elements and I [TS]

  feel like you get like rained on and [TS]

  wouldn't seem like if this guy's been [TS]

  like have burned to death i don't think [TS]

  you want to let him get rained on [TS]

  seriously Anakin I was just kidding [TS]

  about the younglings I can't believe you [TS]

  did that [TS]

  haha so I'm okay we got we basically got [TS]

  a couple of scenes left to go and they [TS]

  are really tough so we're gonna just [TS]

  here we go here we go to everything must [TS]

  go [TS]

  so every reference factor so for reasons [TS]

  we can't explain Padme has lost the will [TS]

  to live not demand she dies the reasons [TS]

  we can't explain we are losing her if my [TS]

  riff my medical robot says to me for [TS]

  reasons we can't explain their lives [TS]

  sure I buy another medical yeah that [TS]

  robot is terrible [TS]

  oh come on that medical robot says boo [TS]

  ba yah robots using wet currently it [TS]

  doesn't know how to speak English and [TS]

  then uses this giant spatula hand to [TS]

  scoop out the baby that's like it's like [TS]

  a see-through wii remote that disgusting [TS]

  it's like a highlight thing think that [TS]

  baby on a weapon against the wall right [TS]

  last so she dies of movie disease [TS]

  basically which is because she needs to [TS]

  die she dies which is incredibly stupid [TS]

  Campbell's lawful movie from further for [TS]

  heroic Dame's the Dame that's to die so [TS]

  that the hero seems to leave a little [TS]

  more corrupted by it [TS]

  chapter 12 it's right there black and [TS]

  like an easy fix for this problem [TS]

  what if she had been slowly dying [TS]

  throughout the entire movie like what if [TS]

  we find out an early scene that she has [TS]

  a fatal disease she can be killed in the [TS]

  war that's going on with people with [TS]

  guns and lights if we set her up as like [TS]

  in the in the first scene is like she's [TS]

  got this terrible disease or something [TS]

  at least Anakin has legitimate reasons [TS]

  to do everything like she's actually [TS]

  dying that is like I had a dream about [TS]

  maybe her Diana can could accidentally [TS]

  stabbed her when she's hiding behind the [TS]

  curtain anything could have happened but [TS]

  that doesn't happen it's that's really [TS]

  frustrating but she does she does have [TS]

  the droid midwives deliver a baby girl [TS]

  and I want everybody to me watching it [TS]

  which is super creepy yeah [TS]

  Bail Organa Yoda and obi-wan are all [TS]

  standing outside a transpass a [TS]

  transparent window just like checking it [TS]

  out [TS]

  she has the the mecca modesty skirt [TS]

  though you know what is with the [TS]

  delivery room with the the one-way glass [TS]

  it looks totally comfortable that's that [TS]

  I'm sure any woman would love to deliver [TS]

  while sitting on metal slab with a metal [TS]

  chain thing covering it's just you know [TS]

  move on galaxy far far away [TS]

  not look comfortable I don't even think [TS]

  you can get our legs far apart squeeze a [TS]

  baby out [TS]

  also how does nobody figure out that [TS]

  she's having twins before yesterday and [TS]

  today there will be technology sucks to [TS]

  keep returning to a singular baby and [TS]

  wood to show up they're not too [TS]

  surprised but it's like she has names [TS]

  for both of them ready to go yeah yeah [TS]

  that was if it's a boy it's gonna end of [TS]

  course they couldn't tell that either [TS]

  she wanted to be surprised to grow [TS]

  little belay oh it's both yeah oh I [TS]

  gotta die now but i gave my name's [TS]

  before I died [TS]

  now i gotta die fortune which [TS]

  just it is this is this is like the [TS]

  height of movie this is like I mean like [TS]

  babies being delivered in movies is not [TS]

  a great track record they're often very [TS]

  large and you know six months old and [TS]

  all of these things and they come come [TS]

  out in like a minute they're perfectly [TS]

  clean [TS]

  ok but Lucas has all of the cgi in the [TS]

  world at his disposal couldn't have done [TS]

  something that would have been it would [TS]

  not have been cleaned don't encourage [TS]

  him to make cg babies that have done [TS]

  children of men i think y'all all CGI [TS]

  the world can't fix the script though [TS]

  and that's the problem here is that we [TS]

  she needs to die and there's no good [TS]

  reason for her to die and she just guys [TS]

  such as they just didn't want him you [TS]

  kill her in so many ways and so cheesy [TS]

  disguise admirably she dies of being [TS]

  said she's got her babies but that's not [TS]

  good enough she said so she dies but [TS]

  fortunately Jimmy Smits and his wife [TS]

  will take the girl not am home and I [TS]

  brought you that beyond that going one [TS]

  way but they'll take the girl boy would [TS]

  be crazy if there had been an accidental [TS]

  switchy to be Smith's the I got to their [TS]

  I got you thank you [TS]

  so she gets to be so so let's get this [TS]

  straight Leia gets to go to Alderaan [TS]

  beautiful we get to see beautiful older [TS]

  on goodbye real estate and um and it [TS]

  gets to be a princess and be awesome on [TS]

  Alderaan whereas i will take the boy to [TS]

  tatooine where he will be in the sand [TS]

  and fixing two rounds no place for a [TS]

  woman budget did he call ahead because [TS]

  i'm not even sure they've got a space [TS]

  phone in their little tattoo yeah I feel [TS]

  bad for Owen and Beru because what if [TS]

  they want to have their own kids now is [TS]

  like that we were gonna have her own [TS]

  kids were kind of the right age when I [TS]

  guess we gotta take and it seems like [TS]

  they never do have their own kids from [TS]

  can tell it was like he just he shows up [TS]

  with the baby tucked into his robot is [TS]

  like a brew [TS]

  I got some for ya don't want to go into [TS]

  too much detail about why I'm bringing [TS]

  his baby but here no nothing to worry [TS]

  about [TS]

  very little chance with this little tyke [TS]

  might someday college to be torched [TS]

  alive and you're gonna stay here I like [TS]

  that Jimmy Smith is totally like so we [TS]

  got two kids dibs on the girl I'll take [TS]

  it [TS]

  yep will take also sending sending Luke [TS]

  to his family under his own name i read [TS]

  in Syria while back about like how [TS]

  obi-wan just totally uses Lucas bait for [TS]

  Darth Vader like that was gonna put him [TS]

  out here with his family [TS]

  we're leaving called Luke Skywalker [TS]

  just sit around wait for Darth Vader [TS]

  show up and kill this kid it's like [TS]

  hiding in plain sight it's it's the it's [TS]

  the the first off they tell him the [TS]

  Emperor tells him that he killed her [TS]

  ok that is actually cool i like that [TS]

  what that is one bit that I like it I [TS]

  like the Emperor lies to him and tells [TS]

  him that you killed him because I feel [TS]

  like that is a great captain be said but [TS]

  again he and I don't like because he's [TS]

  being duped again it's like well he [TS]

  knows that he didn't actually kill her [TS]

  she was alive when he left and he's like [TS]

  but i guess i accidentally killed her [TS]

  and couldn't tell because I of course [TS]

  you can tell you killed a YouTube didn't [TS]

  kill her she was he doesn't know that [TS]

  she's that she was alive when he left [TS]

  are you sure [TS]

  shokdor into unconsciousness I nobody [TS]

  has the farsi can tell when she's dead [TS]

  or now that woman you don't like your [TS]

  voice can tell anything in this movie [TS]

  john the force does not do that because [TS]

  we see obi-wan actually take her pulse [TS]

  at one but they also the four slots and [TS]

  lets the jedis put their hands on the [TS]

  heads of people who are injured and make [TS]

  them better all we want does it in a new [TS]

  hope it gets done a couple times here in [TS]

  this movie this all sorts of head [TS]

  padding to just doesn't it it's another [TS]

  example of him being duped and I think [TS]

  that's okay i think i think that's ok [TS]

  again in that different movie I think [TS]

  that's ok because it's sort of completes [TS]

  his transition like now there is nothing [TS]

  left for him you know and so we've got [TS]

  that story which comes from the Emperor [TS]

  but meanwhile obi-wan and Yoda have [TS]

  crafted this other story which is weird [TS]

  we're going to hide the boy in plain [TS]

  sight on Tatooine and i'll be one is [TS]

  going to be nearby but not trained him [TS]

  or do anything other than hang out but [TS]

  btdubs remember Liam Neeson well hold on [TS]

  hold on [TS]

  ok so so uh so any meanwhile there is [TS]

  another right so we've got her stashed [TS]

  away somewhere else but then before you [TS]

  go to go as he says he says clygon has [TS]

  figured out how to become a ghost [TS]

  you should talk to about it's totally [TS]

  cool yeah it's awesome even was that [TS]

  present well that's like are so that's [TS]

  how ob1 talk to Luke all along he [TS]

  learned it from the ghost of qui gonn [TS]

  they have three movies and they didn't [TS]

  show that anywhere it's like what we [TS]

  know in the original trilogy this all [TS]

  starts to go stalking from ben and if it [TS]

  had three movies to either establish [TS]

  that as a normal Jedi thing or make it a [TS]

  special thing on his way to the last 30 [TS]

  seconds of the third movie they actually [TS]

  talk about that like one episode one [TS]

  i'm out i remember reading an interview [TS]

  where he's like oh yeah you see qui gonn [TS]

  dies but you still see his body [TS]

  we're gonna explain why he doesn't join [TS]

  the force like obi-wan does and like I [TS]

  remember waiting for that and they [TS]

  literally shoehorn it into the left's [TS]

  two minutes of the movie and don't even [TS]

  really explain it [TS]

  you know one of those things that did [TS]

  not need an explanation no no just just [TS]

  like that missing planet that the only [TS]

  went into the Jedi library to find the [TS]

  right out like okay I can you know how [TS]

  did why did they erase that well you [TS]

  know is a computer but anyway look at [TS]

  this point we don't have any other [TS]

  Young's to ask the answer [TS]

  no prob now so so qui gonn who we've [TS]

  never heard from Racine is apparently [TS]

  still talking to Yoda and has become a [TS]

  ghost clone or not it but not to his [TS]

  apprentice so i think we established he [TS]

  hates at the beginning the first [TS]

  yeah yeah so the late so they leave the [TS]

  droids in the care of the captain wiping [TS]

  threepio's mind while they have that [TS]

  Padme funeral where she's very creepily [TS]

  holding the thing a child Anakin gave [TS]

  her and we're supposed to feel like this [TS]

  is a romantic sign of loss that just [TS]

  made me think about the creepy age [TS]

  difference again that i always think [TS]

  that that close-up is [TS]

  Hey look we've made her look pregnant so [TS]

  that no one thinks she's here that is [TS]

  that is what it is yeah [TS]

  wait that doesn't make any sense and we [TS]

  see Jar Jar at the funeral and we're [TS]

  reminded that it's all jar jar's fault [TS]

  yes accurate the droid thing wipe only [TS]

  threepio's braid r2d2 like laughs at it [TS]

  yeah or it is like arguing you can't [TS]

  talk you just those bleeps and bloops [TS]

  that no one except for every protocol [TS]

  droid in the universe can understand [TS]

  exactly what you might be important I [TS]

  just like the idea that r2d2 spends the [TS]

  rest like the next 15-20 years griefing [TS]

  c-3po but remember that time we do you [TS]

  want to remember what you if Archie's [TS]

  you could roll his eyes they would be [TS]

  constantly rolling it's just like we do [TS]

  I feel like he says he who a lot in the [TS]

  next couple of years were captain [TS]

  Antilles two last things to do okay [TS]

  first off we need to we need to address [TS]

  not only does the Emperor say in your [TS]

  anger you killed her but we get to hear [TS]

  James Earl Jones asked about about Padme [TS]

  in the famous Darth Vader voice and then [TS]

  we get a dot and then we get the moment [TS]

  which is after he discovers the padma is [TS]

  dead Darth Vader badass villain of the [TS]

  universe [TS]

  says no it's not complete without the [TS]

  stumble out of his little his little [TS]

  prison table oh yeah breaks out all the [TS]

  wrinkles Frankenstein's monster [TS]

  stylishly Frankenstein's yeah I see [TS]

  here's the thing i thought it would be [TS]

  so much cooler if we saw it like a [TS]

  primitive version of his armor like not [TS]

  having him just on like I'm Darth Vader [TS]

  remember me but like like yours from [TS]

  your action figure remember that [TS]

  Taylor's they had would have been [TS]

  awesome in the mask and the stuff all [TS]

  ready to go unless they've got like some [TS]

  3d printers in the back or something or [TS]

  that's a standard mask and they're like [TS]

  eight guys who got breathing problems [TS]

  and nothing [TS]

  yeah that's just a sleep apnea mask is [TS]

  this is another place where I I I wish [TS]

  to myself that the prequels head and [TS]

  suck so bad because the shot of the mask [TS]

  sliding into place and the breathing [TS]

  starting up would have been really [TS]

  really great i grieve this film had been [TS]

  different than earned yeah what yeah i [TS]

  wasn't i think i wrote my notes that's [TS]

  the capper man like it's the point where [TS]

  it's like it's just this really happened [TS]

  this is actually how this all plays out [TS]

  this is actually cannon ah I drink the [TS]

  entire bottle of whiskey [TS]

  that's the end of the no drinking game [TS]

  is after you see the scene just drink [TS]

  until you pass out night I think the [TS]

  scene the scene as we end up with is the [TS]

  real capper to the movies the [TS]

  appropriate end but i I just I i [TS]

  disremember like exactly right in that [TS]

  was in that theater i can rewrite the [TS]

  movie as you go but this was almost like [TS]

  a painful thing to watch like that's not [TS]

  what happened he doesn't know it's like [TS]

  what if you really want your not later [TS]

  if you really want to set them up for [TS]

  episode 4 he pauses for a second and [TS]

  then says good [TS]

  oh that would be pro yeah see but no bad [TS]

  because then he started favor and send [TS]

  this is my for my opening statement this [TS]

  is not this does not Darth Vader the end [TS]

  in 20 years of of going around and [TS]

  kicking around because he got fooled [TS]

  into doing this and his wife died and [TS]

  now he's trapped in this suit I just [TS]

  don't feel like that d Glee the darth [TS]

  vader brings to being the enforcer of [TS]

  the Emperor's will across the galaxy and [TS]

  strangling people for displeasing him I [TS]

  just have a hard time drawing a line [TS]

  from this guy to that guy do [TS]

  this is an antique never grows up and it [TS]

  never becomes an adult he is always the [TS]

  little kid the little brother [TS]

  the kid who did I could he'd never [TS]

  becomes fully adult and the any just [TS]

  replaces one authority figure with [TS]

  another he never becomes Darth Vader he [TS]

  really is like that kid in that focus [TS]

  wagon super bowl ad that's what I really [TS]

  think we have yes he is he's dressed [TS]

  like guess he's dressed like darth vader [TS]

  but he's not third fader that's cute [TS]

  honey that's cute on you like you I like [TS]

  your darth vader costume night my kid [TS]

  had more gusto than this Vader it's [TS]

  really more like the kid who got crushed [TS]

  by the flat screen TV [TS]

  it can i mentioned the creepy targeting [TS]

  stand-in at the asbury you because this [TS]

  place because this was the other the [TS]

  other scene we've got is we've got the [TS]

  dossier around the ship and we got the [TS]

  guys and they're out in their death star [TS]

  outfits and we see the structure of the [TS]

  frame of the death star being built for [TS]

  20 years to build that thing but only a [TS]

  couple of minutes to blow it up [TS]

  uh-uh-uh and there's a weird there I [TS]

  thought it was a guy who's supposed to [TS]

  put you in the mind of Tarkin but they [TS]

  made up a guy to look like Peter Cushing [TS]

  they made a model is friday look like [TS]

  they're shutting his corpse maybe like a [TS]

  cgi model rubber mommy could have saved [TS]

  a lot of time and I was really curious [TS]

  about is my google this guy down like he [TS]

  looks nothing like him but there's all [TS]

  these pictures online of like the tart [TS]

  like an actual promo shot of him as [TS]

  target he's not identified as such in [TS]

  dialogue only in the credits appearance [TS]

  for what 10 seconds maybe look at all [TS]

  the time they spent making him up to [TS]

  look like a character just so we can [TS]

  have that link remember those movies you [TS]

  love ya and it's between that darth [TS]

  vader standing on the bridge of a Star [TS]

  Destroyer equivalent the candy for like [TS]

  you know the scene in there we have all [TS]

  these things that are like alright we're [TS]

  wrapping it up you get everything back [TS]

  and then the capper which is we're going [TS]

  to stand on Tatooine in the exact same [TS]

  spot that Luke will stand 20 years from [TS]

  now [TS]

  no they're not going to stand on how to [TS]

  win this this is why was the capper a [TS]

  binary sunset was outdoors this looks [TS]

  for all the world like they're in front [TS]

  of a green screen but it states the [TS]

  transparent attempt to call back ends [TS]

  the best seen in the entire trilogy yet [TS]

  now that they're trying to do that but i [TS]

  think it's emblematic of like they took [TS]

  a scene that was like one of the most [TS]

  naturalistic scenes a new hope right [TS]

  where is actual someone in you know [TS]

  where was ten the actual binding outside [TS]

  on location and they said how can we [TS]

  rekindle that magic I know green screen [TS]

  no that's not how you do it basically [TS]

  they say f it up to the very last drop [TS]

  but you can see what they're trying to [TS]

  do here right this is your montage of [TS]

  memories from the beginning of Star Wars [TS]

  and we're gonna we're gonna grab it and [TS]

  I get ready totally see Luke on tatooine [TS]

  with binary sunset as the last shot a [TS]

  movie you know very early on there like [TS]

  that's the last shot of the movie we [TS]

  just have to get there it shouldn't be [TS]

  too hard right it'll be okay we get [TS]

  there right we did so well with the [TS]

  first two movies we got this one right [TS]

  close your eyes think of Star Wars so [TS]

  it's so ham-fisted is especially the [TS]

  thinking and I and I don't understand [TS]

  why the green screen like the head [TS]

  location shooting there didn't they say [TS]

  Fred they left and forgot to get that [TS]

  shot crap we got to put that one of the [TS]

  schedule allergies doing post and i [TS]

  don't i don't know if it's all green [TS]

  screen think some of it maybe location [TS]

  but there are definitely shots in that [TS]

  for all the world looks like they're in [TS]

  front of a green screen is that like [TS]

  there's no way Lucas at the tunisia [TS]

  again like my understanding was that [TS]

  they shot those scenes during the [TS]

  shooting of episode two [TS]

  we're usually they just didn't know [TS]

  those things were going to be in there [TS]

  and they dropped a man yeah but it [TS]

  doesn't it digitally ancestors fails it [TS]

  fails on so many levels it's a microcosm [TS]

  it's a science emblematic of the [TS]

  failings of this you know not just the [TS]

  plot feelings but this is emblematic of [TS]

  the aesthetic failings of the movie with [TS]

  all that the cg unnecessary cg and [TS]

  people in front of green screens and [TS]

  failing to evoke emotions by doing [TS]

  something in a way that that is not [TS]

  naturalistic yeah we think we can it we [TS]

  think we can improve upon what is [TS]

  natural by like carefully controlling [TS]

  every single element that goes into it [TS]

  to make a perfect thing right but [TS]

  whereas what was great about the [TS]

  original in some way where its flaws [TS]

  where its natural like the things that [TS]

  were limitations of the time that meant [TS]

  that they had to find workarounds that [TS]

  what that's what made that one succeed [TS]

  when it turns out when you can control [TS]

  the entire environment everything feels [TS]

  sterile and dumb [TS]

  well let's see if they could do it [TS]

  better if they could make it so i [TS]

  thought they were on location [TS]

  more power to him but they couldn't they [TS]

  could I didn't pull it off right it's [TS]

  like I don't mind them trying to say [TS]

  we're never going to get this perfect [TS]

  magic our sunset will make one up if you [TS]

  can convince me that they're really [TS]

  there i'll buy it but if you can't [TS]

  convince me don't do it just shoot them [TS]

  on location [TS]

  you just got you know you gotta do what [TS]

  you gotta do to anyway this is such a [TS]

  minor point in a movie that has so many [TS]

  major things wrong with it was just like [TS]

  one little step is like by the way we [TS]

  can screw up scenes instance in big ways [TS]

  and small and here's just one little [TS]

  sharp poke a stick before we leave [TS]

  never have I been less excited to hear [TS]

  the jaunty star wars end music and so [TS]

  the three [TS]

  yeah hey it's over and I kept thinking [TS]

  ugh just like a good why did I that's it [TS]

  for the last hour and twenty as being [TS]

  punched in the face yeah with no respite [TS]

  of any kind when you're praying for [TS]

  stupid c-3po puns [TS]

  you know I know you've been ruined that [TS]

  is dad's that's a bad place to be [TS]

  I felt I felt 30 but i did actually [TS]

  wonder where the terrible c-3po puns [TS]

  where Anthony Daniels i guess that i [TS]

  checked out after episode 27 by spent [TS]

  all the episodes free pretty much [TS]

  checked out and yes I get kind of rolls [TS]

  over me and just like wake up long [TS]

  enough to be angry about bad writing and [TS]

  stupidity but it's just like this and [TS]

  then they didn't do anything to make me [TS]

  like I remember watching us in the [TS]

  theater for the very first time in like [TS]

  I wasn't trying to be standoffish I [TS]

  wasn't being like I'm going to go in and [TS]

  I'm gonna hate this like I'm you know [TS]

  I'm paying to see the movie i'm willing [TS]

  to be up to let the movie take me but it [TS]

  never even never even made a little like [TS]

  tentative gesture towards my [TS]

  heartstrings and like didn't even come [TS]

  close it was just like every part of [TS]

  that is me my no hang-ups part of that [TS]

  is the first two movies maybe being [TS]

  unfair to it but just looking at the [TS]

  movie again without all those hang-ups I [TS]

  felt like it still didn't grab me that [TS]

  clearance the closest I got was maybe [TS]

  like the opera scene where you see some [TS]

  good performances and then as andy said [TS]

  we just spend the rest of the movie [TS]

  making your own movie in your head they [TS]

  would've been better than this [TS]

  yeah the worst thing for me is that it [TS]

  didn't even like episode 1 i'm i [TS]

  actually liked but I realized that I I [TS]

  admit this out right so much of that [TS]

  fondness is because of nostalgia with [TS]

  episode 3 it wasn't even value to me as [TS]

  a nostalgic piece it was this what this [TS]

  wasn't Star Wars this wasn't kept these [TS]

  were characters that I really like and I [TS]

  couldn't even really evaluate this as [TS]

  bad storytelling does this look like [TS]

  here that the ear the that the the line [TS]

  that this is the this [TS]

  is so wrong it's not even wrong it's so [TS]

  that's how not right this is I do [TS]

  does anybody want to place this among [TS]

  the sequel among the prequels it where [TS]

  does this one ranked what what's the [TS]

  what's the best and the worst i mean [TS]

  there is this common thought out there [TS]

  the this is the somehow the best of the [TS]

  of the prequels uh I know we've heard [TS]

  some somehow somebody's opinion here I [TS]

  I'll go first and I'll say you know what [TS]

  for all the terrible things about [TS]

  episode 1i think kind of that episode [TS]

  one is the best one only because in some [TS]

  ways it's not as offensive it is a dumb [TS]

  kids movie family moving but you know [TS]

  it's got the pie and the Padres goes on [TS]

  too long but the i can i can actually [TS]

  like recall what happens in episode 1 [TS]

  and it's got some things that are ok and [TS]

  it and it's got some things that are bad [TS]

  and that Lake groundwork for worse but [TS]

  in the grand scheme of things having [TS]

  revisited all of them now I kind of [TS]

  think it's the least offensive of the [TS]

  bunch [TS]

  it also has the benefit of being the one [TS]

  that you can completely separate from [TS]

  star wars in your mind [TS]

  yeah really you know I can separate all [TS]

  three of them but even more so like [TS]

  seven is the child the child Anakin [TS]

  doesn't even connect with the adult [TS]

  anacott so it's like this whole [TS]

  undertaking world that took place in a [TS]

  movie that happen to have lightsabers i [TS]

  can go back and go better than that the [TS]

  it's I think that episode one is my [TS]

  favorite of the three and I think its [TS]

  sexy again I actually enjoyed it partly [TS]

  because even if we divorce it completely [TS]

  from Star Wars i can name a bunch of [TS]

  scenes that I absolutely love like the [TS]

  opening scenes were if you we we see [TS]

  quite on and Anakin escapes from McCann [TS]

  and obi-wan for the first time and they [TS]

  are absolute badass Jedi which we have [TS]

  never suit with what we were used to the [TS]

  elderly lovely don't give into hatred [TS]

  now we want to think very carefully and [TS]

  it's like no they're badasses who will [TS]

  plunge a lightsaber through a three foot [TS]

  3 foot what a thick door a carved a hole [TS]

  in it to get at the people on the other [TS]

  side of that door the the battle between [TS]

  between our guys and and Darth Maul I'll [TS]

  against its kind of it's kind of silly [TS]

  to have these berries that drop-down [TS]

  really for no mechanical reason but [TS]

  you realize that wow this is like [TS]

  furious furious hand-to-hand battle that [TS]

  has to stop and you had see you see [TS]

  these two groups of people that like are [TS]

  like caged Tigers just like waiting for [TS]

  this barrier to drop so that they can [TS]

  start fighting again it had it had [TS]

  moments like that where i could say i [TS]

  really enjoyed those scenes even the art [TS]

  direction I i like the whatever they [TS]

  shot in Italy all those interiors and [TS]

  exterior of Naboo with that it's all [TS]

  about Italian architecture that it feels [TS]

  those were felt like real spaces and [TS]

  we're kind of interesting to look at in [TS]

  a way that in later movies it's all just [TS]

  digital you know imaginary digital [TS]

  worlds with people dropped into [TS]

  backdrops and and I don't want to say [TS]

  too much positive about episode 1 I [TS]

  don't think it's a good movie i didn't [TS]

  really like it i think i think it could [TS]

  have been edited much better but [TS]

  compared to the other two anyway what it [TS]

  what other people think we're just [TS]

  episode 3 ranked among the the prequels [TS]

  that's better than episode 2 that's [TS]

  first i'm only trouble placing with [TS]

  episode 2 because like I found episode [TS]

  3i found in both very forgettable [TS]

  but if you force me to watch either [TS]

  episode with two or three again I would [TS]

  probably and maybe just realized i saw [TS]

  three i would probably pick to be forced [TS]

  to watch it like they're don't like [TS]

  either one of them it's like would if [TS]

  you had to pick up some sleep episode 12 [TS]

  sighs I can adjust Rank 2 and 3 against [TS]

  each other [TS]

  someone said you have to watch one of [TS]

  the prequels and it's like six months [TS]

  from now see didn't just watching one [TS]

  which one would you choose to watch two [TS]

  or three two because you can kiss kind [TS]

  of zone out guys [TS]

  I don't like sand haha i know but listen [TS]

  just had the same terrible line below [TS]

  loves there was a time that I would have [TS]

  said too because i really liked the the [TS]

  Camino stuff but when we watched it the [TS]

  community stuff doesn't look it doesn't [TS]

  look as good now as it did back there [TS]

  now it looks just kind of crowded I is [TS]

  packed with Steve was saying that like [TS]

  the second half of this movie is just [TS]

  just entertain greenery [TS]

  yeah it's not entertained I don't care [TS]

  about that locker room i love dark grim [TS]

  things i hope this is my wife isn't real [TS]

  and gritty in a good way this is andrea [TS]

  morning mars-like watch it is not [TS]

  entertaining because I don't get a grim [TS]

  things only work if you're like if [TS]

  you're caught up in it like oh [TS]

  this is terrible i could you like that [TS]

  type of thing but if you're not caught [TS]

  up with it is just not entertaining [TS]

  there's nothing there to entertain you [TS]

  it's a tough call but i suspect i would [TS]

  i would probably go with three as [TS]

  preferable because even though i don't [TS]

  enjoy watching and especially that last [TS]

  hour or so there's at least a changes up [TS]

  periodically where episode 2 is just [TS]

  video game sequence after videogame [TS]

  sequence after videogame sequence and [TS]

  here the baddies I little bit of change [TS]

  in tone a little bit change in pace [TS]

  I don't enjoy any of it but episode 2 [TS]

  honestly it makes me avert my eyes it [TS]

  certainly is because i'm just so tired [TS]

  of seeing the cgi thrust at me [TS]

  constantly creepy and I can i was i [TS]

  think it was thinking episode to wonder [TS]

  what would ever want to see you again [TS]

  about episode 2 like why would I [TS]

  possibly pick that over three this [TS]

  Coliseum scene has them running away [TS]

  from monsters for ya but I'm trying to [TS]

  think of an end of an episode of tv [TS]

  wonder what do I seem to have that I [TS]

  want to see you again maybe the space [TS]

  battle line to get this thing about the [TS]

  movie and you get a ram chip [TS]

  yeah maybe the space battle I'd want to [TS]

  see ships flying around cuz i like the [TS]

  ships but it's like that anyway that all [TS]

  this is to say that that i would [TS]

  probably put episode 1 above the two [TS]

  because i can think of two things in [TS]

  episode one that i want to see again the [TS]

  lightsaber battle which no one speaks [TS]

  and it's a good life three pounds book [TS]

  well choreographed and I guess I like [TS]

  the podrace you know again a lot of [TS]

  dialogue and they race around sort of [TS]

  the rest of movies execrable and yeah [TS]

  thats i would probably say episode 1 is [TS]

  first then two and three are in a dead [TS]

  heat for second but I would never watch [TS]

  anything i think i think what I'd say is [TS]

  episode 2 has some better stuff in it [TS]

  than three but it also has some really [TS]

  nails really terrible stuff and well um [TS]

  I like i said i like the rain the rain [TS]

  planet seen a lot i was good i think the [TS]

  coliseum with the monsters part is ok [TS]

  then of course all the just show up and [TS]

  it's stupid but also that c-3po cracking [TS]

  jokes and little about oh my god that is [TS]

  so good but so this is what i'm saying [TS]

  is i think there's I think there's [TS]

  better and worse stuff into than 3 [TS]

  whereas in three I look at a time just [TS]

  like me you know [TS]

  well tell us what what do I want to go [TS]

  back and watch an episode 3 and I can't [TS]

  even I can't pick out a single thing i [TS]

  agree with you on Episode one though [TS]

  it's not depressing and it's not [TS]

  entirely bored [TS]

  which puts it above both of the other [TS]

  films for me yeah unlike us if you are [TS]

  not required to opportunities that some [TS]

  sort of strange podcast torture [TS]

  experiment by an evil mastermind uh-huh [TS]

  then you don't have to watch these ever [TS]

  again and neither do i I never have the [TS]

  watch is ever getting in there this is [TS]

  what I was gonna say is good news [TS]

  everybody [TS]

  you never have to watch the prequels [TS]

  ever and again [TS]

  yeah that's my goal when the force [TS]

  awakens it is going to have one hell of [TS]

  a hangover is well what was the last 20 [TS]

  years back [TS]

  jeez I don't remember anything after the [TS]

  equal he walks i scratched out after he [TS]

  walks that was in that blue milk [TS]

  the thing that I alluded to in the in [TS]

  the in the preamble to this [TS]

  yeah I have one really good thing to [TS]

  thank you so did 34 because when we when [TS]

  we were when we schedule this I had a [TS]

  dim memory that maybe I might have [TS]

  bought episode three on DVD like getting [TS]

  used DVD so or something me to about it [TS]

  i bought it used on like five years ago [TS]

  and it just SAT and exactly it's like [TS]

  it's at least as I i distinctly remember [TS]

  i might have bought but never watch it i [TS]

  just bought it because ok for five bucks [TS]

  I will have it and so I looked through [TS]

  like my DVD collection couldn't find it [TS]

  then look through that box that I have [TS]

  of dvds that never made it onto the [TS]

  shelf and then finally made it to well I [TS]

  that is I think there's like a box full [TS]

  of kind of dvds from stuff for my last [TS]

  move like you know like eight years ago [TS]

  or whenever for whatever what the the [TS]

  DMV your cleaning up or just things go [TS]

  into boxes finally 5k there it is [TS]

  follow their that must be here is like [TS]

  episode Star Wars like is still [TS]

  in shrinkwrap just I thought what I [TS]

  found and I would not have found these [TS]

  because they would they were all the way [TS]

  in the garage [TS]

  unless i was searching for episode 3 was [TS]

  I've totally forgot that i'd bought on [TS]

  DVD during like they 13 days it was [TS]

  available for sale [TS]

  the actual uncut the actual theatrical [TS]

  releases of episode 4 5 6 on DVD paired [TS]

  with the restored additions and [TS]

  prohibitions but I had been like I [TS]

  that must have must been really busy [TS]

  when i bought these I had never even [TS]

  opened them and that and now i have on [TS]

  my media server copies of the theatrical [TS]

  releases of the Holy trilogy that I [TS]

  would not have had enough in searching [TS]

  for episode 3 you got the gout [TS]

  yeah georges georges original on also [TS]

  trilogy that's what that's called you [TS]

  that you found the Geo UT I I like holy [TS]

  trilogy I think it's more respectful [TS]

  bear more reverent and i would recommend [TS]

  that if you people always ask me what [TS]

  they should watch for the Star Wars [TS]

  movies that in there like what should i [TS]

  buy or whatever I said buy whatever you [TS]

  want to buy the blu rays or whatever so [TS]

  you feel like you have a morally [TS]

  fulfilled your obligation to give money [TS]

  to the people who made these movies and [TS]

  then go download army specialized [TS]

  edition yeah right now then and that's [TS]

  that's what I keep in my you know if I [TS]

  want to watch Star Wars that's what I [TS]

  watch and I have bought all of the [TS]

  plastic discs with these things on the [TS]

  many of times over [TS]

  so I feel my obligation to Lucasfilm [TS]

  whatever the owners are is more than [TS]

  fulfilled as I bodies movies again and [TS]

  again but i don't watch but Harvey's to [TS]

  specialized is the way to go [TS]

  they look the they're the best looking [TS]

  and it incredible technical job to put [TS]

  them all together based on all these [TS]

  different sources and color corrected [TS]

  and it is the closest you're gonna get [TS]

  to the original idea of what the trilogy [TS]

  is supposed to be at the highest quality [TS]

  and that's the problem with the gout [TS]

  ones they're not great quality right [TS]

  yeah yeah but the harmonies it's that [TS]

  they're taking blu-ray sources and HD TV [TS]

  broadcasts or Alive no meter from [TS]

  Princess laser discs are all these [TS]

  different sources and putting them [TS]

  together and actually in all those [TS]

  sources in the same shot matting things [TS]

  out and occasionally you'll see a light [TS]

  or you know you get the you have the [TS]

  same speed of the landspeeder going by [TS]

  and like parts of it are fuzzier than [TS]

  other parts but it is that's what I look [TS]

  like in the original an awful may look [TS]

  like a smeared Vaseline underneath yeah [TS]

  it was not get like a recent yeah they [TS]

  did but it's a that's the way to go [TS]

  don't you obsessive nerds on the [TS]

  internet I know it's amazing that's [TS]

  that's what the Internet's point it's [TS]

  probably your brain rebels against it [TS]

  and I do i also have the that I also [TS]

  have the fixed if you the special [TS]

  editions but every time I i I'm not even [TS]

  capable of judging it critically because [TS]

  every time something have [TS]

  and in episodes 4 5 & 6 that i do not [TS]

  remember happening for the 20 years in [TS]

  which I saw the classic edition the [TS]

  brain says wait that's wrong that's the [TS]

  at that didn't happen that way and so [TS]

  whatever you have to do to get the [TS]

  theatrical release is worth whatever you [TS]

  have to do to get it for me [TS]

  we're giving you carte blanche internet [TS]

  we forgive you [TS]

  yes do what you must do it I can think [TS]

  of no better way to end this opus this [TS]

  this adventure we've taken through all [TS]

  six existing Star Wars movies just in [TS]

  time for a seventh to arrive this [TS]

  december i don't know what we're gonna [TS]

  do about that but probably talk about it [TS]

  stay tuned for 18 consecutive hours of a [TS]

  telethon about our new sub bass Jason [TS]

  the force awakens sub-caste coming in [TS]

  there's absolutely no way this one is [TS]

  going to suck a chance to make sure this [TS]

  time for sure this time for sure they [TS]

  should call this one can't possibly suck [TS]

  so thank you to my fellow adventurers [TS]

  and Ian Coates been pleasure [TS]

  oh god that was fun Steve let's thanks [TS]

  for taking this journey through the [TS]

  prequels especially with us at an end [TS]

  this podcast is and not short enough it [TS]

  was as serenity Caldwell a pleasure as [TS]

  always thank you for for talking about [TS]

  all these star wars movies with me be [TS]

  that's a good trick did more in thank [TS]

  you very much [TS]

  the pain is slowly subsiding finally [TS]

  after these many years John siracusa [TS]

  thank you i was thinking just to be safe [TS]

  there should be no couches in episode 7 [TS]

  no couches that would make me feel more [TS]

  comfortable and anyway for the [TS]

  incomparable I've been Jason Snelling to [TS]

  exile I must go failed i have with you [TS]

  next time [TS]