The Incomparable

255a: Summer Superhero Spectacular: Central City Region


  the uncomfortable summer superhero [TS]

  spectacular is brought to you by canary [TS]

  a new approach to home security canary [TS]

  is a complete home security system [TS]

  packed into a single device [TS]

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  today when you visit meet canary calm / [TS]

  incomparable the incomparable 250 fine [TS]

  subsection a Comic Con 2015 welcome back [TS]

  everybody to be uncomfortable something [TS]

  very special we're doing by specialty we [TS]

  don't know what we're doing and it's [TS]

  crazy and it's even worse than a draft [TS]

  we have decided to perform this summer a [TS]

  a tournament if you will of comic-book [TS]

  superheroes or superhero in general not [TS]

  all of them necessarily from the comics [TS]

  almost entirely 64 heroes will enter our [TS]

  arena and in the end one hero will be [TS]

  crowned the incomparable superhero [TS]

  champion and it's all meaningless [TS]

  oh god why are we doing this here's how [TS]

  it's going to work [TS]

  i am your host i have i have consulted [TS]

  with a team of experts to create a 64 [TS]

  superhero bracket they've been ranked [TS]

  you should be able to find a link to the [TS]

  tournament bracket in the show notes and [TS]

  I i have i have brought some of our fine [TS]

  panels together to to defend the honor [TS]

  of these heroes the way it's going to [TS]

  work is we have 32 pairings in the first [TS]

  round there are a couple playing games [TS]

  in honor of the n-c-double-a for its [TS]

  ridiculous playing games in the NCH [TS]

  basketball tournament but generally we [TS]

  have 64 teams are 64 heroes 32 matchups [TS]

  each in this episode each hero will have [TS]

  about a minute statement from an [TS]

  advocate of there and then a cruel panel [TS]

  of judges will decide the victor [TS]

  the cruel panel of judges are these two [TS]

  gentlemen Philip Michaels hello hello [TS]

  are you ready to be a cruel judge i have [TS]

  been training to be cruel all my life [TS]

  and Steve let's is the other member of [TS]

  the judging panel [TS]

  hi Steve hello there Jason although this [TS]

  may be the dumbest thing we've ever done [TS]

  I will endeavor to be a fair and [TS]

  impartial judge we're gonna do a bracket [TS]

  for the dumbest thing the copper was [TS]

  ever done because that listen to draft i [TS]

  hear a draft stupid episode dump draft I [TS]

  i have opinion six summer should fill [TS]

  and Steve were both agreeable chaps not [TS]

  not be able to agree that may be the [TS]

  dumbest thing you've ever done [TS]

  Steve higher like two peas in a pod then [TS]

  then in the end he will be my job to [TS]

  break the tie and declare a winner [TS]

  each hero wins moves on to the round of [TS]

  32 each hero who loses his sent to the [TS]

  negative zone of our hearts they become [TS]

  the Legion of substitute heroes [TS]

  something like that so i will introduce [TS]

  our advocates in this round our [TS]

  advocates are chips under hello hello [TS]

  Dan Morgan hello it's only now hitting [TS]

  me how terrible an idea this is really [TS]

  took that long how Charlie's got [TS]

  everything easy and you're losing every [TS]

  debate tonight more and haha indian taco [TS]

  is also an advocate hello Jason you you [TS]

  have to start calling yourself the [TS]

  Grandmaster that's that's the only way [TS]

  to give this thing legitimacy really [TS]

  this is a contest of Champions Lisa [TS]

  Schmeisser is also an advocate hello hi [TS]

  there [TS]

  Monty Ashley an advocate for his cause [TS]

  xlc or and Tony sindelar hello nerds [TS]

  alright like and tony is doing his best [TS]

  to court the audience early on [TS]

  he's getting ready he sounds like he's [TS]

  number of himself LOL i am a little [TS]

  intimidated you know I feel like I know [TS]

  a lot about comic books and then you see [TS]

  you see ELISA and Monty and and and [TS]

  other folks across the table from you [TS]

  and you're like huh what did I sign up [TS]

  for again so you know in any in your [TS]

  favorite Tony uh [TS]

  L&I the the judges are probably the [TS]

  least knowledgeable people on comics in [TS]

  the known universe [TS]

  well I don't know how that helps which [TS]

  one of you is advocating for Richie Rich [TS]

  tonight because he was really cool [TS]

  meeting Richard versatile enough [TS]

  Eileen Casper I don't know eat the rich [TS]

  eat the rich he has some sanctions [TS]

  against him and is not eligible for [TS]

  postseason play lego it's like Oh in the [TS]

  bracket so here's how this this round [TS]

  will work each advocates going to [TS]

  advocate for their their hero for a [TS]

  minute [TS]

  they're not into the the in this round [TS]

  we're not looking for arguments about [TS]

  why their hero is better than the other [TS]

  hero we would just like to hear an [TS]

  argument about why this particular hero [TS]

  is great or awesome or cool or whatever [TS]

  something positive about their hero the [TS]

  beginning about a minute their opponent [TS]

  will be given about a minute and then [TS]

  the judges will render their verdict so [TS]

  consider this I hate to say this a lot a [TS]

  series of lightning rounds which means [TS]

  you'll be here there's a part 1 of 10 we [TS]

  begin in the central city region it with [TS]

  a matchup between a number one seed and [TS]

  a number 16 seed but first we must hear [TS]

  the results of a plan match played [TS]

  earlier between marvels of the beast and [TS]

  DC's Hawkman Andy and not co who was the [TS]

  victor of the Beast versus Hawkman [TS]

  playing games a beast wanna walk over [TS]

  because all the different Hawk men that [TS]

  DC has predicted couldn't decide who's [TS]

  gonna pick to the field time ran out and [TS]

  beats one and a default all right [TS]

  that said that is part of that is a good [TS]

  way to start so beat beast Henry McCoy [TS]

  will be going against he's the number 16 [TS]

  seed we going against top-seeded a [TS]

  central city region the amazing [TS]

  spider-man advocated by Dan more'n the [TS]

  low seed goes first because i just [TS]

  decided that Amy on you have a minute to [TS]

  advocate for the Beast please go ahead [TS]

  Thank You Grand Master denise is awesome [TS]

  because he's a genius who beats all the [TS]

  usual tropes of a fictional genius and [TS]

  that he's currently one of the [TS]

  Illuminati so he's definitely talk to [TS]

  her but he's fun-loving he's socially [TS]

  well it [TS]

  adjusted he jokes around he's never had [TS]

  a drive towards megalomania and all of [TS]

  that is at odds with the fact that he's [TS]

  you know a beast he supposed to be a [TS]

  gorilla or a cat either way he's [TS]

  supposedly blue let's put that aside but [TS]

  that's cool anyway even there he's [TS]

  pretty much spin steered clear of all [TS]

  the troops of being a beast he's not [TS]

  struggling for acceptance of the world [TS]

  that fears and judges and yes but only [TS]

  in the sense that he's a mutant he feels [TS]

  like he's a light towards mutants he's [TS]

  not just a beast he's not particularly [TS]

  weird looking within that group so he [TS]

  feels familiar there have been some [TS]

  storylines were they get him into being [TS]

  a misfit yes used to wear a rubber human [TS]

  guy mass but the stories about Hank [TS]

  McCoy tend to focus on the person the [TS]

  character [TS]

  moreover he's working for mutant rights [TS]

  in addition to fighting he's and he's [TS]

  got an interesting point of view and [TS]

  that he sometimes with the Avengers [TS]

  sometimes with the x-men he fights with [TS]

  and alongside and against all of them [TS]

  and he associates him with the the [TS]

  people feel as though it's possible that [TS]

  from us become part of society so he's [TS]

  aspirational McCoy is an aspirational [TS]

  character and that's why he's awesome [TS]

  also because he's blue [TS]

  alright he's blue Dan Morgan please [TS]

  advocate for spider-man counter-argument [TS]

  is T spider-man so he's got no damn [TS]

  still not a bad man are you doing it [TS]

  through these to go down the list now he [TS]

  didn't result in whatever a spider can [TS]

  expensive web spider man you yes yeah [TS]

  can I have some questions for you please [TS]

  please i'm happy to answer questions how [TS]

  down my first question is is he strong [TS]

  boy [TS]

  yes yes god no I'm sorry [TS]

  listen was directed to the answer I was [TS]

  looking for was listen Bob he's got your [TS]

  two black no idea apparently because I [TS]

  was not finished with my well this [TS]

  totally rating which his ability to spin [TS]

  a web at any size any any size giant [TS]

  city wide web [TS]

  sure why not and gas and more'n another [TS]

  question can he catch thieves [TS]

  here's your friendly neighborhood [TS]

  spider-man no I'm sorry I just like a [TS]

  nice [TS]

  I'm delighted in beating Cathy job [TS]

  Darrell ignore the middle are my answers [TS]

  an exciting around one upset huh [TS]

  I got a dare you you are definitely [TS]

  playing the part of a public defender [TS]

  your heart is not in this you just want [TS]

  to get to the next item on your docket [TS]

  ok now let me notice how I nobody [TS]

  heckled Andy during his wrath so let's [TS]

  say yes we made it a very you would see [TS]

  it's need anything we're done with the [TS]

  meeting how I thought it would be like [TS]

  three or so before we went off the rails [TS]

  don't have you been listening to this [TS]

  podcast you get Tony really know you [TS]

  guys are awful i don't listen [TS]

  judges I'll go first [TS]

  um I stand behind no man in my [TS]

  admiration for the Beast however [TS]

  spider-man is one of the great iconic [TS]

  superhero figures [TS]

  however times to Dan Morris defensive [TS]

  Spiderman was as weak as a kitten [TS]

  I rule in favor of the beast [TS]

  wow there's a careful boys that's great [TS]

  yeah I agree [TS]

  spider-man is iconic he's he's a hero I [TS]

  grew up with loving he's out there on [TS]

  his own he's not hanging out with some [TS]

  team of fellow nerds [TS]

  finally somebody is making a good [TS]

  argument for spider-man girls garage [TS]

  guys I can't in good conscience go with [TS]

  the Beast I've got to go spider-man but [TS]

  in future rounds i fully expect someone [TS]

  to sing the entirety of the spider-man [TS]

  song if I were to sing the spider-man [TS]

  song with thats where vote at this [TS]

  juncture [TS]

  only if you sing about beast beast email [TS]

  whatever a beastie kid can he look like [TS]

  a cat [TS]

  yes he can look at that watch out he is [TS]

  the beastie man allow it [TS]

  we're still in the first one there we [TS]

  have we have we are still in the first [TS]

  one Monty we we have the judges are [TS]

  split 121 I will cast the deciding vote [TS]

  despite inns in confidence i will say [TS]

  well I man is better than the Beast [TS]

  spider-man moves on but it was well [TS]

  played so it's always what it was i'm [TS]

  told now that I can heckle during any of [TS]

  these is what is what the gloves are off [TS]

  interesting idea but ok once you're done [TS]

  I i think no no III don't think your [TS]

  gender roles here i think i think the [TS]

  rules are what we make I think that may [TS]

  be that may be true until we until we [TS]

  decide the rules until we for you force [TS]

  us to make rules [TS]

  let's move on to our next matchup in [TS]

  Central City Region the eighth seed [TS]

  Aquaman friend to all the fish will be a [TS]

  will be advocated by Lisa Schmeisser [TS]

  against one of two blue beetles in our [TS]

  tournament this the ted kord version of [TS]

  the Blue Beetle who is going to be [TS]

  advocated by chips under that tough [TS]

  eight verses 9 matchup Louis egos first [TS]

  chip please speak for Ted Kord the Blue [TS]

  Beetle ok guys wrap your brain around [TS]

  this wild concept a millionaire with [TS]

  high-tech gadgetry but no superpowers [TS]

  puts on a suit and fights crime that's [TS]

  gonna done [TS]

  oh sorry now this guy's this guy's [TS]

  battle cry is however just forwards [TS]

  wah-ha-ha-ha I give you a character [TS]

  created by spider-man creator steve [TS]

  ditko a wisecracking insecure acrobatic [TS]

  guy with a gun that shoots i kid you not [TS]

  burst of compressed air or it acts like [TS]

  a strobe light [TS]

  so why is Blue Beetle a member of the [TS]

  historic and histrionic justice league [TS]

  international one of the great super [TS]

  heroes of all time because he's fun [TS]

  good-natured and he symbolizes the best [TS]

  of DC comics in the late eighties [TS]

  something that you rarely see in today's [TS]

  comics a sense of humor [TS]

  Thank You chip Lisa please speak for [TS]

  Aquaman [TS]

  seventy percent of the globe is covered [TS]

  in water there is all of one dude who's [TS]

  in charge of all of it from the deepest [TS]

  trenches to the most beautiful [TS]

  pollination shallows he doesn't despite [TS]

  merciless mockery from people who could [TS]

  who assume that that he's the useless [TS]

  dude from the nineteen seventies Justice [TS]

  League cartoons he Brooks no crap and he [TS]

  uses his telepathic animal talking [TS]

  abilities to do things like have wells [TS]

  generate tsunamis he pals around with [TS]

  sharks Aquaman is is is he takes no got [TS]

  off anybody which is exactly what you [TS]

  want from again somebody who has the [TS]

  power to hang out with sharks and you [TS]

  want him on your side for that then I [TS]

  rest my case I always good one advocate [TS]

  ends with the sound effects boom that [TS]

  question for mishmar sir [TS]

  uh-huh go for Aquaman have a hook for a [TS]

  hand as a matter of fact judge he does [TS]

  have a hook for a hand and he often [TS]

  screws on different things to excuse [TS]

  it's not just a hook sometimes it's a [TS]

  pretend to hand that has superpowers [TS]

  sometimes it can have rope so he can [TS]

  cast out and catch things or a spatula [TS]

  does this hook shoot compressed air and [TS]

  or strobe lights [TS]

  no that's why he has fish because there [TS]

  are actually animals and that they're [TS]

  actually animals under the sea that can [TS]

  do both in lethal amounts well sure if [TS]

  you want something that'll shoot [TS]

  compressed air for you [TS]

  legal amount of strobe light until it [TS]

  you don't look a market leadership is [TS]

  know when to delegate and when they have [TS]

  other people play to their own strength [TS]

  or other fish I think something's off [TS]

  here this is not meant to be a debate [TS]

  it's two statements and then we move on [TS]

  judges I've heard all I need to hear [TS]

  Aquaman has a hook for a hand there for [TS]

  Aquaman is the winning superhero Steve [TS]

  uh you know it's I'm excited about the [TS]

  gun that shoots compressed air that [TS]

  sounds pretty great [TS]

  not sure what he does exactly make you [TS]

  laugh i think but yeah that's true [TS]

  that's true but i gotta go Aquaman to [TS]

  largely because Lisa led with the exact [TS]

  same argument that I used when I picked [TS]

  Aquaman the superhero drive it [TS]

  sucking up to the judges never hurts and [TS]

  argue with the volume of water on the [TS]

  surface of the planet Earth Aquaman [TS]

  moves on to the next round [TS]

  by a vote of 220 [TS]

  this week the incomparable is brought to [TS]

  you by canary an amazing new home [TS]

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  canary dot-com that's Emmy ET CA n ary [TS]

  dot-com / incomparable and thank you to [TS]

  canary for sponsoring being comfortable [TS]

  and we move on to our next pairing in [TS]

  the central city region number five seed [TS]

  the Silver Surfer advocated by Monty [TS]

  going up against the number 12 seed the [TS]

  she-hulk actually advocated by Lisa Lisa [TS]

  please speak your mind about she-hulk [TS]

  think one of the great things about [TS]

  she-hulk is how she embraces female [TS]

  stereotypes and then completely supports [TS]

  them [TS]

  she's unabashedly female even when she's [TS]

  giant in green and filled with muscles [TS]

  and she's fun-loving she parties she [TS]

  likes hooking up with folks she goes to [TS]

  the beach and she fights crime and she's [TS]

  a lawyer [TS]

  this is somebody whose entire character [TS]

  quest has been about embracing and [TS]

  integrating all of the different aspects [TS]

  of the personality that make herself and [TS]

  that makes it one of the most honest and [TS]

  transparent superheroes in the candidate [TS]

  it also makes a really happy exception [TS]

  to the whole no one must know about my [TS]

  secret identity thing going on [TS]

  so because she doesn't have that baggage [TS]

  and because she does a good job of [TS]

  trying to stay true to herself while [TS]

  also taking advantage of with her brain [TS]

  and her bra on [TS]

  she hulk is super awesome all right [TS]

  Monty the Silver Surfer the Silver [TS]

  Surfer looks great [TS]

  that awful Fantastic Four movie he [TS]

  looked awesome that doesn't like the [TS]

  idea of a dude just surfing around outer [TS]

  space and occasionally having cosmic [TS]

  powers [TS]

  he's basically our entree into the whole [TS]

  Marvel cosmic universe that she [TS]

  originally appeared as Galactus Herald [TS]

  coming down to earth and saying look out [TS]

  we're gonna eat your planet after that [TS]

  he had his own series where he spent [TS]

  every panel moping about how awful life [TS]

  was as a cosmic power being he's the [TS]

  ultimate tortured hero and in conclusion [TS]

  surfing is totally cool alright strong [TS]

  point there Monty I judges let's start [TS]

  with Steve what you're already thought [TS]

  about silver surfer vs she-hulk [TS]

  interesting I can't disagree that Silver [TS]

  Surfer looks great he is one of the [TS]

  coolest looking here as well time [TS]

  although the moping aspect of things [TS]

  kind of drag him down a little bit [TS]

  she-hulk interestingly lot of female [TS]

  scenario types it seems like she does [TS]

  she goes to the beach he hooks up with [TS]

  folks she does it all she sounds a [TS]

  little like green Barbie to me so it's a [TS]

  it's a tough decision on this one for me [TS]

  but I'm gonna have to lean with joe [TS]

  satriani and go silver surfer [TS]

  interesting film [TS]

  well I don't believe either of these [TS]

  heroes has a hook for a hand so you can [TS]

  find some other evaluated measure it's [TS]

  interesting that silver surfers [TS]

  mentioned quite prominently in the movie [TS]

  crimson tide which is a delightful [TS]

  motion picture however silver surfer is [TS]

  also featured in the movie called the [TS]

  Fantastic Four to which is a terrible [TS]

  motion picture i must decide with she [TS]

  halkan that's the shit this dishes did [TS]

  this decision [TS]

  yeah I appealed this decision on the [TS]

  grounds that you get pronounce it a [TS]

  sustained what do you appeal the [TS]

  decision [TS]

  No [TS]

  world my role for she-hulk add this is a [TS]

  very difficult one for me I think both [TS]

  arguments were excellent i think these [TS]

  are interesting character she Hulka a [TS]

  modern character with a lot of a lot of [TS]

  things to support her silver surfer the [TS]

  history from the Galactic moment up to [TS]

  the present day the current Silver [TS]

  Surfer comic very interesting as well [TS]

  and kind of a departure [TS]

  I feel like I'm in the end I think she [TS]

  hulk has had even more a self-titled [TS]

  series cancelled than silver surfer [TS]

  although both of them have been [TS]

  cancelled the whole lot in me and I'm [TS]

  going to buy a nose i'm going to pick [TS]

  the Silver Surfer so silver surfer [TS]

  advances to one so close buzzer-beater [TS]

  therefore the Silver Surfer use the [TS]

  power cosmic centuries real sorry [TS]

  shulkie sorry Rocky III love the love [TS]

  she helped but sadly we must move on our [TS]

  next matchup in the central city region [TS]

  4 seed kitty pryde of the x-men [TS]

  advocated by Lisa against number 13 [TS]

  jonah hex advocated by Tony sindelar [TS]

  Tony you are the underdog in so many [TS]

  ways please advocate for jonah hex now I [TS]

  don't we have underdog in the lineup [TS]

  oh my god is and I hate myself also [TS]

  recruiting violations made underdog not [TS]

  liable to this turn [TS]

  well performance-enhancing drugs um he [TS]

  Jonah Hex may require some introduction [TS]

  because i'm guessing not many folks here [TS]

  have read jonah hex comic and I'm not [TS]

  going to tie him to the very unfortunate [TS]

  just full movie [TS]

  don't don't pay any attention to that so [TS]

  Jonah Hex is a classic DC comics from [TS]

  the Wild West and occasionally the weird [TS]

  supernatural west and he is a former [TS]

  Confederate soldier turned bounty hunter [TS]

  and his he does not really have any [TS]

  superpowers other than kind of being [TS]

  very ugly and unkillable and he goes on [TS]

  various adventures in the Old West [TS]

  shooting people wrestling wild animals [TS]

  collecting bounties and he is kind of [TS]

  your your classic hard-drinking cynical [TS]

  antihero always looking for his next [TS]

  dollar he's basically Philip michaels [TS]

  with a hat done [TS]

  oh interesting alright I'm gonna vote [TS]

  kitty pryde [TS]

  interesting we will have a debate later [TS]

  about whether we really ugly is a [TS]

  superpower or not [TS]

  Lisa kitty pryde please go ahead and [TS]

  discuss keeper [TS]

  perhaps her her most profound superpower [TS]

  is the fact that she was introduced to [TS]

  the x-men as a proto Wesley Crusher IE [TS]

  and precocious teenager with [TS]

  supernatural gifts and yet she managed [TS]

  to completely support that the trope and [TS]

  became instead one of the linchpins of [TS]

  the x-men franchise from her [TS]

  introduction of the early eighties to [TS]

  today [TS]

  kitty pryde has the power to phase [TS]

  through objects sure and that's [TS]

  interesting because she can drop through [TS]

  things you can disappear when necessary [TS]

  she can alter the physical properties of [TS]

  people she touches and she's a genius [TS]

  which is super handy too but she's also [TS]

  one of them the beating hearts of the [TS]

  x-men she brought out the humanity and [TS]

  the better impulses and people like [TS]

  storm and wolverine and her colleague [TS]

  Colossus she has been a bear for human [TS]

  human and or mutant rights are asking [TS]

  people to consider the inherent humanity [TS]

  anisole no matter what your gifts and [TS]

  she is also the reason that she's also [TS]

  been a really graceful transition point [TS]

  for spin-offs like the new mutants and X [TS]

  Factor Excalibur a lot of teams that [TS]

  have gone on and a lab utility is it [TS]

  were to spread across the globe and make [TS]

  the world a better place [TS]

  so there we go Thank You judges [TS]

  Phil let's start with you he's looking [TS]

  for a hat to wear [TS]

  okay I appreciate the fact that mr. [TS]

  sindelar if I may call him that [TS]

  who has compared me to jonah hex with a [TS]

  hat mainly in demeanor in demeanor and [TS]

  world philosophy i cannot get past the [TS]

  fact that jonah hex is ugly [TS]

  well not to see you know he had the mark [TS]

  of demon if you got the market be sure [TS]

  to find you in contempt i roll for Kitty [TS]

  Pryde I'll you know I know you but you [TS]

  know I i see how this coordinate [TS]

  it's not possible uh Terry Hollywood [TS]

  about this steve what is your ruling I [TS]

  do like the hard-drinking supernatural [TS]

  types out but i was listening to [TS]

  releases advocacy and I I was kind of my [TS]

  eyes bugged out when I heard her start [TS]

  with proto Wesley Crusher as though that [TS]

  was positive and then realize that [TS]

  somehow this character managed to [TS]

  subvert the proto Wesley Crusher trope [TS]

  which I would have thought was nylon [TS]

  impossible so for that reason alone [TS]

  I've got to go kitty pryde alright keep [TS]

  reading moves on I jonah hex maybe [TS]

  unkillable but he is defeatable he has [TS]

  been sent away just like at the box [TS]

  office [TS]

  it's like it though don't mention just [TS]

  rolling i did three in a row now I can [TS]

  rest for a little bit take a break [TS]

  Lisa our next matchup in the central [TS]

  city region number 11 seed worthy to [TS]

  carry the hammer of Thor beta ray bill [TS]

  advocated by chip going against Shazam [TS]

  you may also know him as Captain Marvel [TS]

  advocated by Monty chip you are the low [TS]

  seed please go ahead [TS]

  ok I'm i'll grab that it may be kinda [TS]

  cool to get your powers from lightning [TS]

  but it's another thing to have the power [TS]

  to make the Lightning beta ray bill is [TS]

  one of the first Marvel characters able [TS]

  to lift Thor's hammer who is not in fact [TS]

  thorny thereby gain the same powers but [TS]

  he's not just some warmed-over [TS]

  second-rate Thor check this [TS]

  he comes from a race of peaceful [TS]

  humanoid aliens but he gave up his [TS]

  humanoid alien entity and it was [TS]

  transformed into a beast eale horse [TS]

  headed half machine to defend his people [TS]

  as they were escaping from a burning [TS]

  galaxy full of demons so white beta ray [TS]

  bill is the greatest hero of all time is [TS]

  because he's a floor wax and dessert [TS]

  topping he is the Mighty Thor and he's a [TS]

  badass cyborg and frankly his hammer [TS]

  looks cooler [TS]

  alright strong points Monty Captain [TS]

  Marvel shows is Captain Marvel now [TS]

  officially shazam because even lawyers [TS]

  get tired of arguing after if [TS]

  decades that happen Marvel is a better [TS]

  version of superman instead of being an [TS]

  alien who learned to be good American [TS]

  because he grew up in the wholesome [TS]

  cornfields of small bill he's actually [TS]

  literally a good-hearted naive child [TS]

  named Billy who also turned into a burly [TS]

  superhero his villains are [TS]

  enthusiastically weird he's got a [TS]

  monster society of evil he fights mr. [TS]

  mind a telepathic worm who is a genius [TS]

  plus Captain Marvel is very important in [TS]

  comics because he's goes all the way [TS]

  back to nineteen forty or so please [TS]

  still doesn't have a dark side there's [TS]

  no stupid Frank Miller reimagining of [TS]

  this guy he's still a cheerful [TS]

  optimistic guy who flies around and [TS]

  punches evil in the face [TS]

  alright thank you very very nice seep [TS]

  what are your thoughts [TS]

  well I'm gonna have to go beta ray bill [TS]

  on this one for one reason and one [TS]

  reason only as a youth growing up I [TS]

  remember seeing the four comics and and [TS]

  thinking it looked like the dumbest [TS]

  thing ever you know until today and then [TS]

  then i ran across the cover of what I [TS]

  guess is Thor number 337 which I'm [TS]

  looking at right here and it i it has a [TS]

  beta ray bill on the cover in the thor [TS]

  armor swing his hammer smashing the word [TS]

  floor and it made me want to read or [TS]

  comic which is something I thought could [TS]

  never be done so its beta ray bill for [TS]

  me [TS]

  Phil what are your thoughts I to hate [TS]

  Thor with every fiber of my being [TS]

  Steve's arguments have moved me these [TS]

  arguments don't listen to steve's [TS]

  arguments as a general rule in life I [TS]

  was hoping that my arguments were in [TS]

  there somewhere [TS]

  uh I role for beta ray whatever his name [TS]

  is that the double space horse [TS]

  yes that guy he seems okay well we've [TS]

  got gas we have we have our first upset [TS]

  beta ray bill has defeated Captain [TS]

  Marvel and Steve that's that's like my [TS]

  favorite comic book cover ever to and I [TS]

  had that same reaction which store was [TS]

  really boring and wait a second now [TS]

  there's a space alien with a hammer [TS]

  I'm more interested [TS]

  so beta ray bill and the upset moves on [TS]

  we will move to our next round where [TS]

  green lantern advocated by chip the [TS]

  number three seed in the central city [TS]

  region will be facing hawk-eye this is [TS]

  the 14th seed Hawkeye this is younger [TS]

  Hawkeye Kate Bishop not older Hawkeye [TS]

  Clint Barton who will be hearing from [TS]

  later k Bishop advocated by Dan Morgan [TS]

  dan will you please go ahead and [TS]

  advocate for Kate Bishop Hawkeye [TS]

  absolutely well my respect for the Green [TS]

  Lantern Corps is second to none but Kate [TS]

  bishop doesn't have a magic ring she has [TS]

  guts and clits but which is it forgets [TS]

  but she's basically so with a person [TS]

  with no superpowers she is essentially [TS]

  like at one point I think the young [TS]

  avengers try to rescue her and she [TS]

  basically turns out to essentially help [TS]

  rescue yourself and then the rest of the [TS]

  young avengers like you guys are [TS]

  terrible at this [TS]

  not only does she like talk smack to [TS]

  both captain america and Hawkeye for [TS]

  basically not doing their jobs well [TS]

  enough in terms of like training these [TS]

  these younger heroes [TS]

  she essentially you know basically goes [TS]

  out her or her own takes for an [TS]

  initiative to become a hero and earns [TS]

  the mantle of Hawkeye in her own right [TS]

  she's pretty much almost as good an [TS]

  archer as clint barton she's the only [TS]

  person who will sort of like not take [TS]

  his crap and Mike calls him on his stuff [TS]

  which is awesome she helps him fight [TS]

  crime not like big like superheroes [TS]

  necessarily that are super villains that [TS]

  are always like trying to like destroy [TS]

  the world but like serious crime [TS]

  problems that affect people who live you [TS]

  know on the streets so she's got like [TS]

  that whole like blue-collar aspect to it [TS]

  which is which is great i think she's [TS]

  she's she's a pragmatic practical [TS]

  superhero and she just super kicks ass [TS]

  and pretty much every way and clint [TS]

  barton even with his dog cannot keep up [TS]

  so I say Kate Bishop all the way I got a [TS]

  quick question before we move on so [TS]

  she's Hawkeye and clint barton and talk [TS]

  at the same time [TS]

  yes they're actually they're actually [TS]

  both hot guys Kohaku's MCR go hawkeyes [TS]

  indeed in fact there's dialogue where [TS]

  they will say after you Hawkeye know [TS]

  after you Hawkeye because they say yes [TS]

  they they were she was and she was added [TS]

  as i am busy and then he would have [TS]

  black as a hot guy and they take 15 [TS]

  another both Hawkeyes and which one of [TS]

  them is a surgeon in the Korean War uh [TS]

  that would haha that would be Alan Alda [TS]

  who is an eight seed in a different [TS]

  racket i rule for Trapper John chip [TS]

  please go ahead with your discussion of [TS]

  green lantern ok but I'm kind of in [TS]

  trouble here because I've got a good [TS]

  friend who cost place at Kate Bishop so [TS]

  apologies in advance but oh you're [TS]

  eliminated right now [TS]

  oh hey no continue kids India's it's [TS]

  only open a Green Lantern Hal Jordan is [TS]

  the greatest wish fulfillment character [TS]

  in comics he's got a magic ring it's [TS]

  science but come on to a ten-year-old [TS]

  it's totally magic at that can do [TS]

  anything as long as the weather has [TS]

  enough willpower flight energy beam [TS]

  space travel solid light constructs with [TS]

  which you beat the tar out of bad guys [TS]

  great costume too but two things for me [TS]

  put green lantern over the top as the [TS]

  greatest hero of all time [TS]

  first he's a devil-may-care test pilot [TS]

  he's a fearless thrill sick secret [TS]

  that's a lot of fun in characterization [TS]

  but second in contrast soon after he [TS]

  gets the ring he finds out he was chosen [TS]

  to be just one of 3599 other space [TS]

  policeman in the Green Lantern Corps and [TS]

  at its best [TS]

  this contrasts between a loan test pilot [TS]

  and the member of a huge police force [TS]

  he's a complicated compelling hero and [TS]

  he's the greatest hero of all time [TS]

  may I ask question sure one min select [TS]

  one of the dacian that Jason's given up [TS]

  already and I was gonna say no but I [TS]

  really rather hear the clouds and [TS]

  instead of kyle rayner or jon stewart or [TS]

  even guy what's-his-name guy gardner [TS]

  honey hockey which is English my english [TS]

  is green lantern what ya guys spoilers [TS]

  spoilers in order no crab face no vest [TS]

  and he was and he was robbed out of a [TS]

  place on the justice league cartoon all [TS]

  allow it right Phil what's your what's [TS]

  your verdict then I was moved terribly [TS]

  by the argument in favor of not crappy [TS]

  Hawkeye k bishop [TS]

  yes yes yes not crappy Hawkeye will also [TS]

  accept it not crappy Hawkeye however i [TS]

  will accept Green Lantern as presented [TS]

  to me [TS]

  Green Lantern moves on to the next round [TS]

  well you don't get you don't get to say [TS]

  that without Steve are great lateral [TS]

  moves on to the next round Steve what do [TS]

  you feel [TS]

  um wow well i gotta say a a magic ring [TS]

  has never fun on my list of [TS]

  wish-fulfillment items that but you fool [TS]

  it's like getting more wishes [TS]

  I don't know I find that I find the [TS]

  whole conceit kind of lame that said the [TS]

  whole co hoc I thing I think that feels [TS]

  kind of I think you know get your own [TS]

  name woman earned that name [TS]

  well then why didn't he is surrender his [TS]

  name he did for a while he was learning [TS]

  grown in donating my only son friends [TS]

  names like you put into a ninja for a [TS]

  while [TS]

  well that it that even that weekend the [TS]

  Hawkeye argument even more if I may step [TS]

  on my interject Steve box have two eyes [TS]

  right thank you want yes Hawks easily [TS]

  have to i just want to be up there born [TS]

  with two eyes right piles of the worst [TS]

  birding podcast of every tune in for [TS]

  Best 13 then again i can hardly fault [TS]

  there being two hot guys when there are [TS]

  thousands of Green Lantern's so I'm [TS]

  going hot gay interesting so that that [TS]

  is a split decision I it falls to me I [TS]

  saw the Ryan Reynolds movie so hot I [TS]

  Kate bishop moves on [TS]

  Oh Ryan Reynolds well another upset [TS]

  because thank you ryan reynolds wherever [TS]

  you are is a bad bad bad bad bad movies [TS]

  a lot to answer for dude [TS]

  we move on to our next round number [TS]

  seven seed ms marvel that's Kamala Khan [TS]

  advocated by dan will be going up [TS]

  against Conn c'mon c'mon c'mon not not [TS]

  shiny little money right now she is the [TS]

  12 seed in the funk division number 10 [TS]

  the flash this is the wally west flash [TS]

  not the more familiar Barry Allen flash [TS]

  that will be talking to you later [TS]

  advocated by chip chip [TS]

  you're the underdog so please advocate [TS]

  for Wally West as the flash [TS]

  well uh the the previous flash the [TS]

  Silver Age flash Barry Allen he was [TS]

  killed off in the eighties during DC's [TS]

  crisis on infinite earths and on one of [TS]

  the last pages his former sidekick his [TS]

  former sidekick kid flash Wally West he [TS]

  was wearing a new costume instead from [TS]

  this day on I am the flash and this is [TS]

  one of the few times that a sidekick is [TS]

  actually lived up to the dream of [TS]

  succeeding his partner [TS]

  the neat thing about Wally is that it [TS]

  wasn't a comfortable transition he at [TS]

  first he could only run at the speed of [TS]

  sound and he also acted like a real jerk [TS]

  because he had a massive inferiority [TS]

  complex over the years though he grew [TS]

  into the equal of his predecessor he was [TS]

  just as fast just as noble but he hung [TS]

  on to this sort of ADHD personality that [TS]

  he had which makes a whole lot more [TS]

  sense for super speedster then the bland [TS]

  classic Barry Allen Wally West succeeded [TS]

  the DC universe is first and only [TS]

  genuine st. and in so doing he became [TS]

  more interesting by far ship the [TS]

  2-minute Time Lord muscles are working [TS]

  really well in this one minute superhero [TS]

  format i just want to point that out [TS]

  dan you get to work cut out for you tell [TS]

  us about Kamala Khan well I i guess i'm [TS]

  drawing a theme here with the spunky [TS]

  teenage girl heroes because Kamala Khan [TS]

  who is from jersey city is exposed to [TS]

  some metal via inhuman miss that makes [TS]

  her manifest these powers where she can [TS]

  shape-shift and she's as a big comic [TS]

  book fan already [TS]

  she she sort of takes it upon herself to [TS]

  use those powers for [TS]

  good even you know in sort of a typical [TS]

  comic book hero away saving you know a [TS]

  fellow classmate of hers who she doesn't [TS]

  really like but you know was in trouble [TS]

  and so that's what heroes do and so [TS]

  Kamala is a among other things writes [TS]

  fan fiction about like superheroes so [TS]

  she's kind of all uh you know well well [TS]

  grounded in that whole reality but she [TS]

  also has her own struggles because as [TS]

  sort of growing up as a [TS]

  pakistani-american and a Muslim that [TS]

  she's like dealing with these different [TS]

  cultural issues you know she has like to [TS]

  deal with her parents who are very [TS]

  restrictive about certain things and so [TS]

  it's hard to like sneak out and be a [TS]

  superhero wear pants are kinda like you [TS]

  know grounding you and stuff like that [TS]

  so she's got this sort of traditional [TS]

  teenage hero blends but seen through [TS]

  sort of a different angle of the [TS]

  American experience that we haven't [TS]

  really experienced as much with [TS]

  superheroes and she's also pretty [TS]

  kick-ass she takes on the name is marvel [TS]

  in inspiration from carol danvers who is [TS]

  now captain marvel and decides that you [TS]

  know she's going to make that sort of [TS]

  hero identity her own and she has [TS]

  awesome shape-shifting powers which [TS]

  really are super cool right thank you [TS]

  Dan [TS]

  Steve what are your thoughts hmm tough [TS]

  1i like the idea of the kind of fan [TS]

  fiction fan girl suddenly becoming a [TS]

  hero that's an interesting angle [TS]

  although it sounds an awful lot like [TS]

  Buffy the supervillains lair to me and [TS]

  I'm surprised to hear that there is it [TS]

  and any inhuman missed in New Jersey [TS]

  somewhere that's that's quite quite a [TS]

  twist please don't make me cry [TS]

  don't talk about the inhuman magical [TS]

  mists that turns people into non legally [TS]

  actionable movie characters what you [TS]

  don't care for the Terrigen mists for [TS]

  the crystals are generated I think [TS]

  that's totally makes complete sense our [TS]

  cars will watch will clear this [TS]

  courtroom [TS]

  normal here OCD far be it from us have [TS]

  ridiculous things happening this Comic [TS]

  Book podcast is taking them presently [TS]

  dirt-eater bailiff please Papa Landy [TS]

  where the hell is my gavel [TS]

  maybe my in madurai satisfied on the [TS]

  other hand i also like the idea of the [TS]

  of the the kid flash taking on the [TS]

  mantle and sort of overcoming his own [TS]

  personal Asperger's or ADHD or whatever [TS]

  it is that he has in order to become a [TS]

  better hero so this is a this is a tough [TS]

  one [TS]

  you've got an excellent job free of [TS]

  restating what the two arguments were 15 [TS]

  says you have to turn it over in my head [TS]

  from all angles Jason I am that [TS]

  conscientious as a judge of Heroes let [TS]

  me roll this die here and it came up [TS]

  flash all right Phil mr. Morgan would [TS]

  have us believe that shape-shifting is a [TS]

  superhero power shape-shifting is [TS]

  cowardice sir I rule for the flash right [TS]

  flash Wally West moves on her superpower [TS]

  is not waffling I'm reveling in my [TS]

  victory and yet i'm appalled by the [TS]

  grounds for the victory [TS]

  thank thank you chip Thank You chip I i [TS]

  had a role for like that the other check [TS]

  she wins too late to see my best and [TS]

  most reliable shake hands across and [TS]

  roll the dice in chambers they don't do [TS]

  it like actually in front of the [TS]

  defendant that's that's bad for I [TS]

  v-final pairing in the first round in [TS]

  the central city region is again a [TS]

  battle between chip and Dan this time [TS]

  Dan is the underdog chip is going to [TS]

  advocate for our number-2 seed captain [TS]

  america and dan is going to advocate for [TS]

  our 15 seed suggested by Dan and please [TS]

  explain who he is [TS]

  solar man of the atom while the if you [TS]

  don't know it's older man the atom is [TS]

  you're really missing out [TS]

  solar man the atom goes back to the six [TS]

  early sixties sort of out of the the [TS]

  fear of the nuclear age he's a scientist [TS]

  who is exposed to obviously huge amounts [TS]

  of radiation and become sort of a being [TS]

  of largely of energy and power he is in [TS]

  the valiant comics universe the most [TS]

  powerful basically being alive including [TS]

  at one point I believe he the universe [TS]

  is destroyed him how many he just really [TS]

  makes all of it because he is like he's [TS]

  kind of like he's got like a doctor [TS]

  manhattan bad going on but he's also [TS]

  just like this scientist and he deals [TS]

  with a lot of these like psychological [TS]

  issues and how to how to be the most [TS]

  powerful man alive because it's really [TS]

  hard to deal with you know having a [TS]

  normal life when your body is like [TS]

  composed of basically a nuclear furnace [TS]

  so he's gotta a very varied history he [TS]

  was originally one of the gold key [TS]

  heroes of acquired by valiant but I I [TS]

  particularly loved his 1990 storylines [TS]

  in the valiant comics universe where he [TS]

  gets to meet up with a bunch of other [TS]

  characters and has that sort of a big [TS]

  universe a park where he has to sort of [TS]

  remake the universe because it is [TS]

  essentially destroyed so I know he's a [TS]

  less popular hero and you but seed [TS]

  pretty low but he's a he's a really cool [TS]

  dude [TS]

  all right chip ok I really ought to hate [TS]

  captain america he he's the area an [TS]

  ideal fighting against Nazis he [TS]

  literally wraps himself in the flag he's [TS]

  a soldier he barks out orders he's got a [TS]

  rigid moral code and Anthony he's at the [TS]

  pinnacle of human conditioning and how [TS]

  did you get these powers steroids so why [TS]

  do I think captain america is actually [TS]

  one of the greatest superheroes of all [TS]

  time because he does in fact have a [TS]

  superpower he's got unmatchable idealism [TS]

  he believes that he and his country can [TS]

  and must do better he challenges his [TS]

  teammates he challenges government to [TS]

  not be expedient or the pragmatic but [TS]

  just to do what's right [TS]

  he's an amazing fighter in an acrobat [TS]

  and tactician but more than that he's a [TS]

  conscience any catch any cap and he [TS]

  challenges the flag rather than blindly [TS]

  following it [TS]

  captain america i give you solar who's [TS]

  he trying little dig at the end their [TS]

  film what are your thoughts [TS]

  I have always hated captain america and [TS]

  all that he stood for [TS]

  however i do not even remember who dan [TS]

  was advocated god I must roll for the [TS]

  ship them all the superheroes captain [TS]

  america what [TS]

  I actually don't have an inbuilt hatred [TS]

  of Captain America I could take him or [TS]

  give him I but chips advocacy of them [TS]

  was superb and on that basis alone i [TS]

  have to give it to Captain America [TS]

  although I am intrigued by solar man of [TS]

  the atom alright intrigue will get you [TS]

  nowhere except a ticket home solar [TS]

  manatee Adam is it is despatched you [TS]

  will be sad envelope the entire [TS]

  university was happy he he was happy to [TS]

  just be selected our trip to Central [TS]

  City is complete when well that's right [TS]

  folks where one quarter of the way done [TS]

  oh my god I'll be here all about I know [TS]

  our one is complete [TS]

  take a break have a sandwich yeah good [TS]

  times [TS]

  join us tomorrow for the gotham region [TS]

  until then I've been Jason still and [TS]

  this has been the incomparable superhero [TS]

  tournament [TS]

  oh god what are we doing [TS]