The Incomparable

258: Chekhov`s Bob-omb


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  today when you visit meet canary calm / [TS]

  incomparable it's not brain science its [TS]

  rocket surgery this is super mario [TS]

  brothers the incomparable number 258 [TS]

  Marcus plenty 15 help come back to being [TS]

  comfortable trek through terrible cinema [TS]

  turn back now it's nineteen nineties in [TS]

  the spotlight this time and we have [TS]

  chosen for you for viewing pleasure for [TS]

  viewing [TS]

  not that I 1993 is super mario brothers [TS]

  based on the loosely based on the arm [TS]

  perhaps a screenplay was written with [TS]

  elements from a checklist of the video [TS]

  games of the same name sharing a tight [TS]

  written by someone who had seen the [TS]

  front of the cartridge and nothing more [TS]

  nothing more this uh this film starring [TS]

  bob hoskins a good actor john leguizamo [TS]

  an actor [TS]

  yeah Wow a good manama he does what he [TS]

  does well writing what he does is [TS]

  hateful and awful but he does it well [TS]

  and many others [TS]

  this is super mario brothers let me [TS]

  introduce the people who watch this [TS]

  movie because they are heroes [TS]

  David Laura hello I are you sure this [TS]

  isn't about Jurassic world because i'm [TS]

  ready i hate that 60 million years ago a [TS]

  media hit brooklyn one of the fusion of [TS]

  ideas with Tony Cinda law that that's me [TS]

  I don't know why you introduce me that [TS]

  way that I don't know [TS]

  keeps me it's a meat-eor Italian slurs [TS]

  today these Lots is also out there who [TS]

  wants me let's 10 [TS]

  well that's just Steve I also joining us [TS]

  is one of those plumbers phillip michael [TS]

  plumbers lawyers [TS]

  yeah look just shut plumbers for about [TS]

  20 minutes recreated the experience of [TS]

  watching Super Mario also be Monty [TS]

  Ashley I he may not be a plumber even if [TS]

  your movie does have motor Nixon they [TS]

  could still use some fixes go nice round [TS]

  is no Indian cut [TS]

  yes i did i did identify mojo nixon was [TS]

  like hey oh and now he's gone [TS]

  yeah replaced with a puppet and Joe [TS]

  steel Joseph rosenstiel hello hello [TS]

  ready to rock as it were because the [TS]

  because the rocks as plumbers as I was [TS]

  saying Super Mario Brothers begins with [TS]

  the mario music I I think I don't want [TS]

  to give anything away that that was the [TS]

  only mom where there was a hint of a [TS]

  smile on my face when the little music [TS]

  kicked in at the beginning of the movie [TS]

  and from then on I i was the great stone [TS]

  face for the rest of the motion picture [TS]

  that's the moment where you think oh [TS]

  this is great this is going to be a film [TS]

  filled with the joy that we in that we [TS]

  have when we play a video game like [TS]

  Mario Brothers which we enjoy so much [TS]

  Jason can i make my quick opening [TS]

  statement yes please go ahead Monty [TS]

  although I am a video gamer at her [TS]

  I've been playing video games for my [TS]

  entire life I have no nostalgic [TS]

  connection to nintendo games in general [TS]

  or Mario in specific because i never had [TS]

  a nintendo I had a ColecoVision later on [TS]

  at genesis so the only nostalgic [TS]

  connection i have this movie was working [TS]

  in a movie theater in 1993 and there [TS]

  very very unhappy crowds do we have to [TS]

  announce our video game console [TS]

  allegiance before it became this just so [TS]

  that only if you do it's necessary an [TS]

  opening scene although i will say that [TS]

  like Monty I never I never had any of [TS]

  those early Nintendo's I i had an Atari [TS]

  and the night sort of didn't do console [TS]

  games again until the first PlayStation [TS]

  so I other than watching my [TS]

  brother-in-law when he was a little kid [TS]

  because you use he's 14 years younger [TS]

  than my wife and we visit visit her [TS]

  parents house and he would be sitting [TS]

  there playing on nintendo and that's how [TS]

  i got exposed to all the nintendo stuff [TS]

  with through through him [TS]

  so that's what's really there is no in [TS]

  1993 when this movie was made there [TS]

  really wasn't much super mario brothers [TS]

  nostalgia to be had in the game the [TS]

  original game was what 1984-85 yeah it [TS]

  was pretty well it-it-it only been [TS]

  around forever but isn't my game [TS]

  well there's been for every game up till [TS]

  that point there really was nothing much [TS]

  by way of a storyline you know it was [TS]

  yeah yeah yeah yeah it's like hey the [TS]

  kids the kids they love the video games [TS]

  what what if we sent immediately [TS]

  Brooklyn no that's the wrong thing [TS]

  what if we made a movie about the video [TS]

  games but the thing is there's no [TS]

  there's no storyline to screw up here I [TS]

  mean there's no storyline to the Super [TS]

  Mario Brothers games up till this point [TS]

  it's guy in overalls jumps on mushrooms [TS]

  the game this is closest to is super [TS]

  mario world which it'll which is from [TS]

  1990 so keep that in mind but even a [TS]

  little bit of storyline that they do [TS]

  have they screwed up royally [TS]

  oh yeah it is a blank canvas I'm to [TS]

  which you can project your your vision [TS]

  and your ear how you feel that Mario [TS]

  story should be told and this is what [TS]

  they came up with him [TS]

  well i'm not certain there's an answer [TS]

  that would make a good movie for the use [TS]

  of today you might assume if you go to [TS]

  an orchestral rendition of video game [TS]

  theme songs and note that it's all Mario [TS]

  you would assume that back in the day [TS]

  everybody loved Mario and it was a huge [TS]

  cultural touch Mario mania was sweeping [TS]

  the nation [TS]

  it wasn't it wasn't you know interesting [TS]

  definitely as well and the thing that [TS]

  cracks me up is apparently this was the [TS]

  the director of The Killing Fields good [TS]

  director roland Joffe yes said you know [TS]

  this would make a really good movie you [TS]

  have a mission and he one of my favorite [TS]

  movies the mission [TS]

  yeah and and then he brought in the the [TS]

  couple that made the original max [TS]

  headroom short film yes yes i want i [TS]

  want to point that out because max [TS]

  headroom is one of my favorite TV shows [TS]

  of all time that that rock more than an [TS]

  animal jackal who directed this directed [TS]

  the UK film max headroom that was then [TS]

  adapted into my face one of my favorite [TS]

  TV shows of all time and in fact the [TS]

  soda commercials [TS]

  yes and which is into the field look of [TS]

  this film is quite similar to that Max [TS]

  Headroom filled with the weird like [TS]

  cityscapes and stuff like that and the [TS]

  any old cars and steam everywhere is [TS]

  very much straight out of that Max [TS]

  Headroom show which i will also point [TS]

  out was uh what nine years eight years [TS]

  earlier so they and they seem to have [TS]

  not worked since then so other than [TS]

  music videos ice maybe I do have maybe I [TS]

  do have a brief opening statement by way [TS]

  of minor defense for this film [TS]

  all boy because I far lower standards [TS]

  than all of you as you all know uh yes [TS]

  this is good point i think if this music [TS]

  is that your opening statement is if [TS]

  this was not an attempt to tie-in in [TS]

  some cash grab way to Super Mario [TS]

  Brothers I don't think it would be as [TS]

  universally regarded as awful as it is i [TS]

  think it's a phenomenally stupid weird [TS]

  but somewhat competently made movie that [TS]

  would have been I I've seen worse [TS]

  definitely I've seen a lot worse and it [TS]

  would have come and gone and been [TS]

  forgotten its it's simply the fact that [TS]

  somebody was told [TS]

  we're gonna make a super mario brothers [TS]

  movie and people went to the theaters [TS]

  thinking of Super Mario Brothers movie [TS]

  and this is what they got and that is [TS]

  why it is regarded as poorly as it is my [TS]

  career I don't think it's as bad as [TS]

  everybody makes it out to be as a Super [TS]

  Mario Brothers movie it is absolutely as [TS]

  bad as everybody makes it out to be but [TS]

  completely objectively without that [TS]

  context I it's it's really not as awful [TS]

  as a lot of things that I've said grave [TS]

  gravelord Steve bravery somewhat [TS]

  starters I think it in in the same way [TS]

  that the prequels suffer for John [TS]

  syracuse which is that you had one job [TS]

  here in the prequels it was come up with [TS]

  an interesting backstory for Anakin [TS]

  Skywalker before he's Darth Vader and [TS]

  show how he became Darth Vader in this [TS]

  it's do something for God's sake with [TS]

  super mario brothers that is somewhat [TS]

  related to supermarket basically [TS]

  resembles anything and they failed [TS]

  I i agree with you Steve I i think this [TS]

  is not a good movie by any stretch of [TS]

  the imagination but what makes it kind [TS]

  of colossally mind-bogglingly bad is [TS]

  that they had one job which was to tie [TS]

  this movie into these video games and [TS]

  the things they do tie-in are [TS]

  inexplicable and yes they could they [TS]

  completely fail at that job beyond that [TS]

  it is a forgettable weird semi comedy [TS]

  fantasy something but just that would be [TS]

  immediately forgotten i think several [TS]

  factors also supposed to be this di n [TS]

  that is a completely fails so to think [TS]

  that that confuses me and and and and [TS]

  angers me somewhat as as much as a [TS]

  I I did something angers you yeah my [TS]

  Mario experience is basically limited to [TS]

  play Mario Kart which are these bright [TS]

  fun little worlds with mushrooms and [TS]

  turn turtle shells and and no and and [TS]

  you're not playing the stock in Mario [TS]

  Kart it looks just like two old taxicabs [TS]

  with elbow and athletic turn it and not [TS]

  darken like a cool dark way darken likey [TS]

  did someone forget to pay the lighting [TS]

  built i play that this awful world Max [TS]

  Headroom is is sort of future yet cold [TS]

  and dark and baroque and strange and it [TS]

  works for that because it's like this [TS]

  dystopian future right it's mario [TS]

  brothers a dark tale of a disco you have [TS]

  created a you want to create this [TS]

  strange world not unlike our own where [TS]

  there are turtle men and nose and [TS]

  Bradley colored objects and even the [TS]

  monsters are kind of cute and cuddly [TS]

  instead they created a world it's like [TS]

  spooky Manhattan that is slightly [TS]

  spookier than actual Manhattan maybe [TS]

  three [TS]

  so yeah I have a note fairly early on [TS]

  the streets yes this hellscape of neon [TS]

  Sparks and sauerkraut really evokes the [TS]

  simple joys of the money [TS]

  yeah i like when they then they'll you [TS]

  know I guess jumping ahead it were not [TS]

  really doing anything but uh they then [TS]

  we haven't started yet and they [TS]

  established that everything outside the [TS]

  hellscape of their metropolis is a [TS]

  health scape of desert for as well as [TS]

  the rainbow highway where is the there's [TS]

  not even a nice level for God's sake [TS]

  there's always been so sleeves there are [TS]

  all those leaves at one point that [TS]

  reminded crashed into three ways but [TS]

  what about what about all the squid [TS]

  people underwater and yeah you know I [TS]

  think there's a line in this film though [TS]

  that tells you exactly what was going on [TS]

  throughout the making and that is when [TS]

  Luigi looks at the fungus and says the [TS]

  mushroom is trying to tell us something [TS]

  hmm the amazing thing is john boarman [TS]

  was on drugs the whole time if you [TS]

  thought Super Mario Brothers was wild [TS]

  wait till you see Kirby a jon foreman [TS]

  fill the puff is bad [TS]

  arbaaz the head Solomon who I guess was [TS]

  one of the main screen writers on this [TS]

  by the end his next movie was men in [TS]

  black and when you take that you can [TS]

  look and see little similarities through [TS]

  these times 2 which is weird shade and [TS]

  apply in that it worked yeah i should i [TS]

  should i begin our march through our [TS]

  death march through the plot or ask ya [TS]

  must you can exactly in this movie was [TS]

  gonna mention right now you can watch [TS]

  the whole movie on YouTube for some [TS]

  reason because nobody even cares enough [TS]

  to contest the great right that's that's [TS]

  the way if you would like to watch this [TS]

  movie don't watch this movie [TS]

  youtube is the place to go yet do not [TS]

  spend a nickel just gonna watch on watch [TS]

  on youtube yeah I always feel guilty [TS]

  when i do that [TS]

  damn you know the innocence taking money [TS]

  out of people's pockets i felt no guilt [TS]

  watching that video quality really [TS]

  suffers on youtube you might not be [TS]

  getting the full experience that I you [TS]

  could see it on DVD so you know i wish i [TS]

  could much also Joffe and take money out [TS]

  of his pocket rather than now spend a [TS]

  dime watching Super Mario Brothers so [TS]

  the mario music plays we get our glimmer [TS]

  of hope it's dashed and then there is a [TS]

  series of computery pieces of art while [TS]

  dancing stronger yeah [TS]

  general general is also a strong word [TS]

  computer and lifetime already tried to [TS]

  bunch of the sort of stills from an [TS]

  apple to a drawing program work or a [TS]

  rudimentary adventure game as dan [TS]

  Castellaneta TVs homer simpson does it [TS]

  affects a Brooklyn accent but even I [TS]

  mean it was an attempt to make things [TS]

  look pixelated and and they failed even [TS]

  at that it clearly looks like somebody's [TS]

  attempt to make something look pixelated [TS]

  as opposed to something that's actually [TS]

  pixel but certainly does not look like a [TS]

  mario video game in England sale or form [TS]

  this further does not stand up while [TS]

  this came out the same year is Jurassic [TS]

  Park in Jurassic Park has that it has a [TS]

  cheesy animated sequence in the park [TS]

  where their hey here's how we do DNA and [TS]

  and are you suggesting that this is not [TS]

  the finest dinosaur movie event not even [TS]

  the best dinosaur movie of 1993 [TS]

  Wow dan Castellaneta has his Brooklyn [TS]

  accent as he explains some and you know [TS]

  it's never a good idea when the movie [TS]

  starts with narration [TS]

  much expertise also some points off of [TS]

  the fact that you get the narrator and [TS]

  then the narrator's never heard from [TS]

  again that's the number a good point and [TS]

  then here what we're he dan Castellaneta [TS]

  has to get us to accept this film's [TS]

  completely ludicrous premise which is [TS]

  the the meteor or the object that hit [TS]

  the earth and killed the dinosaurs was a [TS]

  meteorite and it hit brooklyn and killed [TS]

  the dinosaurs but not all the dinosaurs [TS]

  some dinosaurs were sent to a parallel [TS]

  universe [TS]

  this is the point at which my wife and I [TS]

  looked at each other and said how is [TS]

  this mario related which was the secret [TS]

  gaming of a series of that asking that [TS]

  question because when i go to the [TS]

  theater to see super mario brothers what [TS]

  I want to see is a story about dinosaurs [TS]

  evolving any parallel universe and yet [TS]

  this is what mr. dan Castellaneta TVs [TS]

  homer simpson tells us at the beginning [TS]

  of supermarket you know who I really [TS]

  feel bad for here is Stephen Jay Gould [TS]

  is I i imagine going to the theater in [TS]

  1993 very excited that finally mario [TS]

  brothers is coming to the big screen [TS]

  he says he pays his is six bucks or [TS]

  whatever the hell it was in 1993 it goes [TS]

  in and his entire life's work is is is [TS]

  rendered meaningless in the first 30 [TS]

  seconds of the movie I'd like to think [TS]

  he was a ColecoVision man myself [TS]

  you know it's true ah so we then we get [TS]

  20 years ago [TS]

  there's a car 20 years ago Brooklyn so [TS]

  we've come back from 60 million years [TS]

  ago to 20 years ago they were looking [TS]

  lady in combat boots drops an ornate [TS]

  walk off with some nuns and disappears [TS]

  got a man yeah [TS]

  yep don't you guys like that there's [TS]

  multiple ridiculous scenes before the [TS]

  movie actually starts like it's like [TS]

  let's have multiple segments that are [TS]

  stated there i have it as more of a [TS]

  space capsule leaves and there's an egg [TS]

  in a space capsule that's left for the [TS]

  nuns will initially it looks like a walk [TS]

  and then later you the nuns are [TS]

  unwrapped actually iron man was a walk [TS]

  baby capsule [TS]

  also the the open yeah the opening title [TS]

  credits you have the opening title it [TS]

  titles are showing here they're using [TS]

  the law-and-order font i thought that [TS]

  was really nice LOL New York Center [TS]

  required in the criminal justice system [TS]

  there are two equally important parties [TS]

  mamalon by these dinosaurs [TS]

  yes I wasn't enough permanent dimension [TS]

  the other human sue or do others on [TS]

  order Cretaceous victims unit so baby [TS]

  hatches from the egg in front of some 92 [TS]

  who unlike nuns in real life would would [TS]

  be screaming it's evil kill it [TS]

  the egg the egg hatches it contains a [TS]

  baby and the nuns for some reason don't [TS]

  immediately stab it with the daggers of [TS]

  Megiddo which I've been strongly suspect [TS]

  doing and they apparently never [TS]

  mentioned to the kid [TS]

  oh by the way you came out of an egg yes [TS]

  it's my brain that up you don't want you [TS]

  don't want to leave a kid with too much [TS]

  baggage that's that's a lot to live down [TS]

  also the nuns name the baby daisy even [TS]

  though they have no idea that that's the [TS]

  baby's name but when maybe without my [TS]

  written mikanos around the inside of the [TS]

  eggshell yes its kind of stories do [TS]

  Jason did you mention the fact that the [TS]

  dinosaurs have evolved in their parallel [TS]

  dimension to take on human like your [TS]

  dreams we learned we learned that in the [TS]

  DI narration i don't remember i think we [TS]

  did though they say they say something [TS]

  along the lines of the evolved to become [TS]

  vicious and angry just like us [TS]

  yeah but they did they don't explain yet [TS]

  they evolved into looking exactly like [TS]

  us except that they're dinosaurs except [TS]

  they love just like humans right well I [TS]

  think dennis hopper kind of holds his [TS]

  hands like a t-rex a couple of times [TS]

  well apparently at least one person in [TS]

  the alternate dimension has evolved from [TS]

  a fungus [TS]

  so why not I had questions about that [TS]

  yeah so baby hatches from an egg now we [TS]

  cut to brooklyn today John Leguizamo and [TS]

  bob hoskins are Luigi and Mario if [TS]

  you're going to cast to people as [TS]

  Italians the review to that you choose [TS]

  right a fat white British fellow and [TS]

  Hispanic gentlemen yeah that we all owe [TS]

  Jill dolce who's saying what's the [TS]

  matter you at the early nineteen [TS]

  eighties an apology in that he is no [TS]

  longer does [TS]

  the most offensive act against the [TS]

  Italian people Bob Hoskins is an [TS]

  interesting choice but I've learned that [TS]

  he does a perfect American accent and [TS]

  connect with artificial characters in [TS]

  who framed roger rabbit so they'll be [TS]

  perfect here [TS]

  yeah but plus he's fat and the plumbers [TS]

  & and they have they have sort of a [TS]

  Mulder and Scully thing going on because [TS]

  because luigi is believing all of these [TS]

  things and Mario is a skeptic which you [TS]

  know never saw that coming [TS]

  I will say I actually kind of like the [TS]

  way they play off of each other [TS]

  yeah it's not the worst a chemistry of [TS]

  the world apparently they would go just [TS]

  drink drink in between every take Bob [TS]

  Hoskins in John Leguizamo and lament [TS]

  how-how-how life had given this them [TS]

  this bag of rocks i should say in a [TS]

  movie in an interview with The Guardian [TS]

  shortly before his death of a bob [TS]

  hoskins was asked if there was anything [TS]

  he regretted from his career and he said [TS]

  super mario brothers and what was the [TS]

  worst thing you ever did he said super [TS]

  mario brothers and he was very clear [TS]

  that super mario brothers is by far the [TS]

  low point in his entire career and if [TS]

  you could go back in time and change one [TS]

  thing about your life what would it be [TS]

  not doing supermarket super mario [TS]

  brothers so he's clearly East he's being [TS]

  pretty game about it here [TS]

  no yeah i mean he doesn't mail it in [TS]

  he's a professional this man he also [TS]

  didn't know that this was even based [TS]

  apparently didn't know it was based on a [TS]

  video game until his what his kid who [TS]

  had played the game saw that he was [TS]

  doing it and said oh yeah I have that [TS]

  games like what many key he recounted [TS]

  the plot of the game and he said no I'm [TS]

  pretty sure that's not it but yeah he [TS]

  and leguizamo work fine together as far [TS]

  as duo's in this movie go [TS]

  they are by fire through [TS]

  shoulders yeah oh yeah i think we'll get [TS]

  to those guys [TS]

  I suspect we're gonna sell something so [TS]

  it's mario brothers even though he's [TS]

  Mario and this of course i I've been [TS]

  told is Mario cannon that they they are [TS]

  indeed Mario Mario and Luigi Mario [TS]

  because otherwise how blame is Luigi [TS]

  that he's like sure Mario will call it [TS]

  mario brothers because you're my brother [TS]

  in your name is mario luigi is extremely [TS]

  lame we can he is but Mario so so Mario [TS]

  is his name and it is also their last [TS]

  name i actually thought that was funny i [TS]

  will tell you that the desk clerk later [TS]

  on is correct to be confused by this but [TS]

  they don't really milk it for a comedy [TS]

  which I thought was an interesting [TS]

  choice [TS]

  no wonder what sort of brush it under [TS]

  the table and that's why it was funny [TS]

  yeah just quickly as you know so you and [TS]

  I got your toes David are you [TS]

  ya know just here here at this point [TS]

  where Luke mario luigi drive around the [TS]

  truck that says mario brothers on a [TS]

  lifepod poor Luigi never Luigi brother [TS]

  is always mario brothers [TS]

  time for a short break let me tell you [TS]

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  thank you so much to canary for showing [TS]

  me that my cat is waiting for me to come [TS]

  home and for sponsoring the [TS]

  uncomfortable [TS]

  there's a zany driving sequence at this [TS]

  point with some zany new york-style [TS]

  almost like 30 rock s kind of cool crazy [TS]

  zany New York music we're trying out new [TS]

  york you to give me the music in this [TS]

  movie is consistently terrible [TS]

  ya know and continuous and if you [TS]

  imagine the den that the danny elfman [TS]

  say many things are happening happening [TS]

  that kind of like so without the minor [TS]

  chord just like always out of my hand of [TS]

  his minor chord yeah it's like Alan they [TS]

  got the footage back and said while we [TS]

  thought we were making mother I'm here [TS]

  looking for each other i find it was a [TS]

  non-union conductor lani milkman who did [TS]

  the different because there was there's [TS]

  the dialogue that's like this at dubbed [TS]

  in while they're driving that feels very [TS]

  like a detective the fact like we really [TS]

  gotta punch punch this off otherwise [TS]

  it's just it's just right around the [TS]

  world for Cameron dialogue in this film [TS]

  that was obviously added after I feel [TS]

  like that was added you [TS]

  yes they needed to wacky this really [TS]

  really fix it really because it was too [TS]

  somber before tightening the screws yeah [TS]

  it was to church like it was funeral and [TS]

  still is really as a nice polish around [TS]

  here it's just gonna get they get to the [TS]

  job that they're going to and they thus [TS]

  capelli truck is already there and in [TS]

  one of the many examples of overly [TS]

  descriptive dialogue in this film [TS]

  Mario gets out of the car and says [TS]

  capelli they beat us again another job [TS]

  lost that we thank you which is just [TS]

  confusing from several perspectives yeah [TS]

  first off in addition to being just a [TS]

  plumbers truck they're also a giant [TS]

  mega-corporations building over there [TS]

  that is mafia ask yes um but also how do [TS]

  they know where that job as they get [TS]

  their the way plumbers are called in New [TS]

  York is there's a there's like a party [TS]

  line and all the plumbers because the [TS]

  rock and whoever gets there first gets [TS]

  the job [TS]

  look you don't build an empire like the [TS]

  scope Ellie's did by turning down little [TS]

  chops and I understand our neighbors how [TS]

  life works in 1993 Brooklyn but I have [TS]

  so much to learn and why was there all [TS]

  that confusion about where to go in the [TS]

  first place [TS]

  don't you guys you live here you have [TS]

  van you should have a battle is I [TS]

  believe there that was attempting to [TS]

  send you a message about Luigi's [TS]

  instincts that Mario never wants to [TS]

  trust that they then reference later in [TS]

  a crappy car chase right totally a [TS]

  rarely yet in passing and extreme [TS]

  passing it does not resolve the problem [TS]

  or coming at the finale at all mr. [TS]

  mistress capelli in his best sort of mr. [TS]

  big kind of voices like hey I'm I'm a [TS]

  very important man and I have important [TS]

  questions asking silly a reader from the [TS]

  move was behind this is attractive [TS]

  practically until slightly different [TS]

  he's got he's got a suit is black car [TS]

  you have Susan charge and there's this [TS]

  College earlier in the construction site [TS]

  in charge of the dig at the construction [TS]

  site where construction is halted [TS]

  because of the discovery of dinosaur [TS]

  bone [TS]

  my favorite part about this section is [TS]

  how much they can talk about dinosaur [TS]

  bones without using the word [TS]

  paleontology which tells you something [TS]

  about like at what level they think the [TS]

  audience member he and fossil doesn't [TS]

  get you to know that phones chase [TS]

  dinosaurs are alone again just another [TS]

  people another dagger in the back of [TS]

  stephen jay gould city theater that's [TS]

  the binary starts shouting at the screen [TS]

  fossils they found really good dinosaur [TS]

  bones to like an entire skeleton all in [TS]

  wait out a brand new DNA sees but in a [TS]

  pipe but nobody pipes [TS]

  ya know they just wanna just want to [TS]

  keep keep on movin keep on moving with [TS]

  mr. Biggs project mr. scarpella project [TS]

  that's because he's the boss elsewhere [TS]

  yet so my note here about mr. Scalli is [TS]

  good acting all I've got and actually [TS]

  this whole scene because this is this is [TS]

  some painful back and forth between mr. [TS]

  scibelli and our our our college [TS]

  girlfriend Daisy as they threatened by [TS]

  summing up the mathis yes I read a [TS]

  crackpot theory about mr. scibelli which [TS]

  is that he has meant to be donkey kong [TS]

  okay and that is that is the crack [TS]

  partyĆ­s theory I've ever google making [TS]

  this film had never heard of Donkey Kong [TS]

  Monty they had barely heard a super [TS]

  mario your the three defending it [TS]

  one Scarpelli hangs out of the [TS]

  construction site to talks to the girl [TS]

  and 342 [TS]

  august heard what monkey into an ape at [TS]

  the end and interesting stupid i might I [TS]

  recommend it as we go through this if [TS]

  there's any character that we can't [TS]

  directly map to a video game character [TS]

  everybody can choose to give me their [TS]

  conspiracy theory of what did you being [TS]

  here they really are very the weirdest [TS]

  draft yet but just paid that we go at [TS]

  this point in my notes I think to myself [TS]

  because we're talking i'm looking at bob [TS]

  hoskins and they're talking about [TS]

  parallel universes and I think to myself [TS]

  maybe in a parallel universe who framed [TS]

  roger rabbit was this bad [TS]

  and that would be what he what he [TS]

  regretted for the rest of his life but [TS]

  in our universe it is super mario [TS]

  brothers [TS]

  well maybe if who framed roger rabbit [TS]

  had been based on buzzy it would have [TS]

  been this bed [TS]

  who can say so let's see what happens [TS]

  next I got men with men with glass [TS]

  yeah the brother bros meet Daisy and [TS]

  offer her a ride as i recall and granted [TS]

  everyone realize hello from the two [TS]

  creepy Italians and they're creepy dark [TS]

  van she somehow ends up double dating [TS]

  with President the henchmen show up [TS]

  around now for yeah yeah that's a very [TS]

  strange acting from ago I missed right [TS]

  are from from named after characters [TS]

  that appear in Super Mario Brothers so [TS]

  yes a little what happens is luigi's on [TS]

  the phone trying to get a new job I [TS]

  Mario in a strange commentary on the [TS]

  cross and bottled water for your [TS]

  purchase from a bodega and says hey [TS]

  everybody's got tap water [TS]

  this thing cost three bucks is pretty [TS]

  and bone to pick [TS]

  stick it to the man Mario Louie Mario's [TS]

  a man of the people that's the message [TS]

  that so luigi hangs up on each other [TS]

  desperate for work but pretty pretty [TS]

  girl Daisy needs to use the phone so he [TS]

  hangs up on the potential job but hangs [TS]

  up on the party line i'm sure scibelli [TS]

  with such skill is already there and [TS]

  give the phone to Daisy where where we [TS]

  and then and then this is this is the [TS]

  point where we're in the universal [TS]

  shorthand of a socially awkward guy [TS]

  who's met a girl that he likes he says [TS]

  it's a pleasure to meet me [TS]

  I mean you wear my good dialogue very [TS]

  good sharp sharp stuff sharp back and [TS]

  forth there and he asked her to dinner [TS]

  at dinner [TS]

  it's going well the date is going pretty [TS]

  well cuts [TS]

  dude successful dinner date with Luigi [TS]

  and it's going so well in fact that as [TS]

  often happens on dates on first dates [TS]

  there's that moment where one I need to [TS]

  fix Steve get ready for it here come up [TS]

  with she offers to show him her bones [TS]

  well that you have to be shown them [TS]

  before you can jump them yes exactly [TS]

  exactly i think that's how it works it's [TS]

  difficult to jump of not that any [TS]

  jumping actually happens in this movie [TS]

  about Super Mario Brothers a videogame [TS]

  about guys then jump on things that's [TS]

  not true there's a there's jumping and [TS]

  it's said ice they think the audience is [TS]

  gonna lose their my how exciting this [TS]

  jump into right-center we'll hit [TS]

  supplements will get to the boots but it [TS]

  isn't here they do kid that Mario's [TS]

  girlfriend and don't worry about that [TS]

  and then envy envy you i was an [TS]

  embellished she or it was not but is not [TS]

  no not at all of it could have been a [TS]

  hellish you're in disguise [TS]

  mhm tuesday i believe she's using [TS]

  elements Lethe she was slightly involved [TS]

  p haha so I had the dates going really [TS]

  well so much so that they there's a kiss [TS]

  attempted over over the bones of the [TS]

  dinosaurs because dinosaur bones are [TS]

  important [TS]

  that's like and friends but something [TS]

  very important happens which is Skip [TS]

  alley because he's evil has decided to [TS]

  to flood the tunnels and use this as a [TS]

  way to make the bones and accessible so [TS]

  they just have to go on with the [TS]

  construction project or something like [TS]

  that because so many construction [TS]

  projects are done in floods yeah i know [TS]

  that there's a lot of things wrong with [TS]

  this movie but i was particularly [TS]

  offended by that city that the staging [TS]

  of that scene where there is both a [TS]

  giant tunnel and then there's a room [TS]

  with a bunch of bones and then there's a [TS]

  room with a bunch of plumbing yes and [TS]

  that just doesn't make any sense [TS]

  it's like these are things that are [TS]

  underground will put the next to do for [TS]

  Italy it's great because it leads to [TS]

  more like oh no no the water and water [TS]

  is coming out and and and we can't stop [TS]

  it [TS]

  what do we do why this looks like a job [TS]

  for a plumber to ever [TS]

  it's so lucky they were actually there [TS]

  and it's the one job that this capelli [TS]

  plumbers are going to take exactly right [TS]

  help and Luigi because he's not a very [TS]

  good plumber even though the water is [TS]

  pouring out he has to go get mario and [TS]

  bring him back but we don't hear is that [TS]

  somebody had in fact hired spit skips [TS]

  capelli in the first place to go down [TS]

  there open those pipes and it was yet [TS]

  another job that the Mario Brothers yeah [TS]

  fail we'll get the guys running down the [TS]

  tunnel were wearing scibelli jury yes [TS]

  which seemed like yeah it's not a [TS]

  perfect craft until you completely [TS]

  understands the importance of branding [TS]

  guru Brandon yes I i believe in a point [TS]

  of order in this movie still favor [TS]

  Oh God Luigi points out that he is only [TS]

  a plumber's apprentice so if they're if [TS]

  there's nothing else this movie has [TS]

  respectfully the Union and crafts and [TS]

  that's why I oh that's why his upper [TS]

  like this bear hasn't earned his [TS]

  moustache it also shows the folly of [TS]

  koopa who assumes that the apprentice [TS]

  plumber is a plumber also Luigi's arc is [TS]

  that he grows a plumber throughout the [TS]

  movie [TS]

  what do you think you'll agree that is [TS]

  obvious and they don't have little graph [TS]

  tales they were around to show their [TS]

  apprentice plumbers [TS]

  mhm the only way you can tell us when [TS]

  they bend over there is only like a [TS]

  quarter of a crime sure I'm sure there's [TS]

  a cutscene where Mario pace of mustache [TS]

  on Luigi's upper lip and says now you're [TS]

  a plumber but there's no cutscene they [TS]

  used every second of footage every time [TS]

  a bell rings a plumber gets his mustache [TS]

  uhhhh [TS]

  daisy has taken and they're knocked out [TS]

  by the by two bozos and she disappears [TS]

  into a rock wall or window is now long [TS]

  time and just got started because they [TS]

  let us introduce our I want to talk [TS]

  about Logan spice those are there from [TS]

  an elegy video game [TS]

  their names are their names again [TS]

  spy-car the gentleman it is played by [TS]

  Fisher Stevens sue is doing the finest [TS]

  work of his career and spike is the [TS]

  awesome parking attendant from Ferris [TS]

  Bueller with a very unfortunate haircut [TS]

  he's Richard accent he's a hey it's that [TS]

  guy he's an onion all bunch of movies he [TS]

  was in good morning Vietnam he was in do [TS]

  the right thing I believe he was an [TS]

  eight men out he's basically whenever [TS]

  you need someone who looks very [TS]

  unpleasant you cast him [TS]

  this is a less dignified role for Fisher [TS]

  Stevens than the one he doesn't hackers [TS]

  a couple years later and in that when i [TS]

  will remind you he has to ride a [TS]

  skateboard and call Penn Jillette a [TS]

  hapless techno weenie enough these these [TS]

  are just super generic wacky incompetent [TS]

  henchmen there's two guys exactly like [TS]

  them at highlander to another fine music [TS]

  yeah in the max headroom TV movie there [TS]

  is also a pair of wacky and competent [TS]

  henchmen it is a it so even if you think [TS]

  there's real serial killers signature [TS]

  well maybe there's a bit of continuity [TS]

  hear that nobody's ever noticed maybe [TS]

  maybe really we're watching a movie [TS]

  about these two goofballs may well did [TS]

  you stick around after the credits and [TS]

  see yes it's super Cooper cousins [TS]

  yeah so we know the movie is really [TS]

  about them and in fact all of the films [TS]

  containing two wacky nondescript [TS]

  sidekicks are you saying these [TS]

  characters are Rosencrantz and [TS]

  Guildenstern is that how you read this [TS]

  light that's example so that means [TS]

  they're gonna die [TS]

  where did ya are used are you serious [TS]

  that there is a post-credit sequence [TS]

  that I did not understand the area you [TS]

  see a new Japanese and financial wow [TS]

  this guy is what they again yeah there's [TS]

  that you didn't you yeah there is [TS]

  totally opposed credit on a stick around [TS]

  for the thing after the kroger we can [TS]

  describe it to you now you'll never [TS]

  watch it [TS]

  yes yes thank you you see two Japanese [TS]

  gentleman they say we would like to make [TS]

  a video game based on your adventures [TS]

  and you think they're talking to mario [TS]

  and luigi but they're actually talking [TS]

  to a key and Spike get it [TS]

  no and the answer is potential names for [TS]

  their games and they come up with super [TS]

  Cooper cousins and that's the big punch [TS]

  line that gets people leaving the [TS]

  theater with a smile on their face and a [TS]

  song in their heart I think they're [TS]

  already gone chief a song my rock on [TS]

  fire rockets [TS]

  that's right to add insult to injury [TS]

  yeah that's the first thing we see my [TS]

  credits at one point during the movie I [TS]

  did turn to my wife and say boy they're [TS]

  missing out on not having the was not [TS]

  one haha song was instantly good play [TS]

  yeah yeah so that that's the we've got [TS]

  the credits right so we're done with the [TS]

  movie now yeah we're done bye week that [TS]

  just going to sort of unusual yeah so [TS]

  Daisy gets kidnapped and they cross over [TS]

  to dystopian gentlemen [TS]

  thank you thank you Tony yes thanks [TS]

  thanks for reminding us we have more of [TS]

  this movie to go yes your honor well [TS]

  across dimensions we are in now Dino [TS]

  manhattan which looks a like a wood [TS]

  where you know again it's a dark [TS]

  weirdest opean mixed up a cityscape i [TS]

  get it and sauerkraut not dinosaur e in [TS]

  any way that is very enough that's for [TS]

  sure there's little dinosaur puppets [TS]

  that kind of fighting over some meat [TS]

  yes they're like rats yeah dinosaur rats [TS]

  and it does feel very max headroom which [TS]

  again works works fine in a dystopian [TS]

  future kind of story and not maybe so [TS]

  much in what is supposed to be what [TS]

  would happen in a world where did [TS]

  dinosaurs evolved into exactly what [TS]

  people are which doesn't make any sense [TS]

  stephen jay gould again fuming in the [TS]

  balcony [TS]

  yes he only goes to theaters with [TS]

  balconies he doesn't go to cineplex [TS]

  there's a nice scene here where they [TS]

  spot Daisy and some of my favorite [TS]

  dialogue in the whole movie here which [TS]

  is Daisy Luigi Daisy Luigi because then [TS]

  I knew who they're with their names were [TS]

  so that was nice [TS]

  yes see them put the date plumbers [TS]

  llamas how we meet king koopa yeah so so [TS]

  Dennis Hopper as king koopa by why not [TS]

  sure this is how we know for sure if you [TS]

  weren't careful if you weren't sure [TS]

  before you now know that this is [TS]

  absolutely a terrible movie [TS]

  help is dennis hopper isn't it yep for [TS]

  some reason he hangs around aunt petunia [TS]

  dursley not sure why [TS]

  yeah certainly not a character in the [TS]

  games certainly not a character in this [TS]

  movie [TS]

  nope not sure why she's like this is [TS]

  secretary wants the rock in the princess [TS]

  that what he wants is the dimension with [TS]

  this rock does this is the rock that [TS]

  allows them to go through the different [TS]

  image so you hear what happens the asked [TS]

  the asteroid sorry the meteor idea when [TS]

  he and brilliant and killed Lahey many [TS]

  of the dinosaurs but left some alive in [TS]

  a parent parallel dimension there is a a [TS]

  shard that has come off of it and it [TS]

  turns out that dinosaur scientists have [TS]

  proven that if you put the shard of the [TS]

  of the meteorite [TS]

  back in the meteorite a sphere that the [TS]

  two parallel dimensions come back [TS]

  together into one dimension mm even by [TS]

  magic Rock standards i found this [TS]

  trouble right now sitting next to [TS]

  Stephen Jay Gould in that movie theater [TS]

  neil degrasse tyson is just stormed out [TS]

  he cannot take anymore [TS]

  this is the worst night at the cinema is [TS]

  ever going to buy the way as we've been [TS]

  introduced to this very max headroom ask [TS]

  like land this is the point where I'd I [TS]

  turn to IMDb to see if joel schumacher [TS]

  was involved in the making of this film [TS]

  yeah it's it's it's leather and dripping [TS]

  with mucus and that is joel schumacher's [TS]

  it's on his business card actually [TS]

  that's also described schumacher all so [TS]

  uh Dennis Hopper i want to say by the [TS]

  way he's got that he his he's got the [TS]

  weird like flat stripe haircut thing on [TS]

  the top of his head [TS]

  I think that's actually supposed to be [TS]

  the shape of his head yeah well so my [TS]

  point is he's basically like again he's [TS]

  basically like Max Headroom he's got max [TS]

  headroom head [TS]

  yeah most of their dinosaur nests of [TS]

  this world is represented in strange [TS]

  haircut yeah yeah guess they're supposed [TS]

  to be scale which is not realizing [TS]

  traditionally when I think dinosaurs and [TS]

  but there's a lot of their pads [TS]

  yeah you know well that's that's better [TS]

  right kind of love that but there's [TS]

  there's a lot i don't understand about [TS]

  dinosaurs so I'm money [TS]

  yeah i mean i had dinosaurs all wrong [TS]

  before I saw this movie or escape this [TS]

  movie really underscores there was no [TS]

  one in Hollywood in the nineteen [TS]

  eighties in nineteen nineties who gave [TS]

  less efficient than Dennis Hopper ok [TS]

  just could not be bothered [TS]

  where's Bob Hoskins is actually you know [TS]

  he's putting his shoulder into it he may [TS]

  be off camera doing doing shots with [TS]

  john leguizamo but he's trying dennis [TS]

  hopper just cannot be bothered now to do [TS]

  anything i like to think this is what's [TS]

  in his head during the story of Easy [TS]

  Rider [TS]

  two years later he made water world so [TS]

  we have yeah you have that to look [TS]

  forward [TS]

  he also has this undesirable task of [TS]

  having like the most exposition out of [TS]

  everybody in the film to deliver it's [TS]

  like oh I have this evil plan and this [TS]

  is the reason why you do this evil plan [TS]

  and the reason why this evil plan works [TS]

  because of this rock and this meteorite [TS]

  and I need to explain why don't like the [TS]

  city that I live in the desert its [TS]

  endless and this globe thing and yeah [TS]

  that's why Dennis Hopper mailed it in ya [TS]

  is he took one look at the script was [TS]

  like nope not worth it [TS]

  can you distinguish dennis hopper [TS]

  mailing it in from dennis hopper being [TS]

  fully engaged because I sure can't [TS]

  his performance is very much like [TS]

  malcolm mcdowell in a tank girl to me [TS]

  yeah so this [TS]

  yeah one of one of the things he says [TS]

  here is great and it's the plumbers took [TS]

  it [TS]

  plumber alert which I like because it [TS]

  got what it implies that on the alert [TS]

  system there is one of the many alerts [TS]

  is a plumber alert and a response from [TS]

  his functionary when he shouts plumber [TS]

  alert as yes sir yes no yes no plumber [TS]

  got that members are a real problem in [TS]

  alternate universe Dino land i would be [TS]

  willing to believe that in this weird [TS]

  alternate dinosaur world that can only [TS]

  be accessed through it [TS]

  rift that is deep underneath Brooklyn [TS]

  probably the only people that are [TS]

  intruders are plumbers but that is not [TS]

  something that they explore the culture [TS]

  of dicer Manhattan and that is those are [TS]

  there questions left unanswered and I'm [TS]

  unfulfilled by that aspect of super [TS]

  mario i like the implication that aside [TS]

  from these two idiots Iggy and Spike [TS]

  everyone else who works for Koopa pretty [TS]

  efficient yeah sort of i mean it seems [TS]

  like there's issues with loyalty since [TS]

  that he has to rely on frenchman later [TS]

  that rd evolved and are fiercely loyal [TS]

  but not fiercely kind of right so [TS]

  there's there's some issues in the right [TS]

  also we really only see like three [TS]

  people that works for him [TS]

  right like there's the same cop again [TS]

  and again if you consider like he is the [TS]

  desk sergeant and also the cop who talks [TS]

  to the guy who's in charge of the whole [TS]

  city so like he's he's he's working a [TS]

  lot of shifts so well it's also weird [TS]

  that a [TS]

  with the goombahs and he has the whole [TS]

  scene with like they're big and [TS]

  threatening and and terrible no powerful [TS]

  and all the stuff and then they don't do [TS]

  anything in the film [TS]

  nothing did you just sort of like [TS]

  bumbling shoulder pad things their [TS]

  comedic do you don't find him hilarious [TS]

  mushrooms that cycle left to our right [TS]

  to left and get stopped on that's that's [TS]

  goombas although I am a little surprised [TS]

  they didn't give the one and only cop [TS]

  some sort of Mario cannon name just to [TS]

  explain why he was in the film so much [TS]

  better Mario cop but he's Donkey Kong [TS]

  jr. [TS]

  okay thanks good save there are no [TS]

  that's that stand up with what I know [TS]

  about talking continues officer kaga [TS]

  officer Kong one of one of the reasons [TS]

  why i can't entirely hate this movie is [TS]

  because it enabled me to write at this [TS]

  point this note and then a nice grandma [TS]

  pokes bob hoskins with a cattle prod [TS]

  before being thrown off a bridge by a [TS]

  large black woman who takes their rock [TS]

  and jumps over a road with her rocket [TS]

  boots no other film allowed me to write [TS]

  that no only super mario brothers well [TS]

  you have not seen Lawrence of Arabia [TS]

  then c is based on a video game [TS]

  character in name only because he is [TS]

  called Big Bertha which is a bad guy [TS]

  that is a fish in Mario Brothers well [TS]

  she's also a fish here but she looks [TS]

  just like a human because that's how it [TS]

  works [TS]

  she's involved she's yeah she's been [TS]

  involved i also i discovered at this [TS]

  point that it's not as much of a [TS]

  hellscape as we were led to believe [TS]

  because this world has its own balladeer [TS]

  roaming mojo nixon and yet another [TS]

  difference that sort of sorta not really [TS]

  about over in dome toad not known for [TS]

  his singing chops he's a cute little [TS]

  toadstool a yeah we were given a list of [TS]

  keywords from super mario brothers [TS]

  without kind host i hope he was going to [TS]

  get devolved into a toadstool but that [TS]

  didn't that would have been impacted and [TS]

  I i literally quaked with rage during [TS]

  that scene we're gonna skip all [TS]

  and they pull it back and he's some sort [TS]

  of reptile know he's supposed to be a [TS]

  toadstool don't you know Karen and they [TS]

  went to the all the trouble of Shaving [TS]

  modo Nixon's hair into this weird spiral [TS]

  on the top of his head for like three [TS]

  seems worth was that just not his thing [TS]

  was just hairstyle that week he had odd [TS]

  hairstyle but it wasn't that there's [TS]

  more than Elvis mahmudur from hell yea [TS]

  he does get to see does get to shout the [TS]

  king is everywhere as he gets dragged [TS]

  yes there is i thought that with [TS]

  something like de committed to the [TS]

  haircut rather than committing to the [TS]

  acting so that that's fine [TS]

  you put mojo nixon in the movie you get [TS]

  you get mojo nixon and then make him [TS]

  carry a lot of the exposition that you [TS]

  sell see that was that was that was [TS]

  really what i was talking about there [TS]

  because that was the on forever to the [TS]

  arm dangling down he's like oh well [TS]

  don't you know the King we think that [TS]

  he's been devolved into a mushroom thats [TS]

  everywhere it's like why would he even [TS]

  though they all know that they're in [TS]

  another dimension that strange too [TS]

  yeah this is the point where Mario I [TS]

  think asks the cop are we dead and i [TS]

  think that is I myself the exact same [TS]

  you think that when you need a lot of [TS]

  plot explained and dread zeppelin is [TS]

  unavailable you get mojo Nixon or garden [TS]

  city officials on towards ideas so [TS]

  they'd evolve totally turns into a [TS]

  goomba what about right before that [TS]

  where there's the crazy thing where [TS]

  Cooper pretends to be their lawyer for [TS]

  about eight seconds and you can fill out [TS]

  here comes the police station or like [TS]

  exactly he's a jerk and he's like yes he [TS]

  is a jerk yeah that's that addition to [TS]

  the plot feels completely unnecessary [TS]

  and it was offering as opposed to well i [TS]

  doing it it was like they decided to [TS]

  change it between takes but now we [TS]

  already shot if I'm just saying they [TS]

  could have caught that the movie could [TS]

  have been a little bit shorter and never [TS]

  would have been a little bit happy so so [TS]

  they but but the security is really bad [TS]

  and they actually like kick cupola into [TS]

  the de-evolution chair [TS]

  although he doesn't get de-evolved but [TS]

  he does get to shout stop that plumber [TS]

  again that plumbers I just love the [TS]

  specificity of that plan because [TS]

  everybody knows what a plumber looks [TS]

  like you know that plumber the plumber [TS]

  over there [TS]

  stop him [TS]

  we do learn later on that the pipes in [TS]

  this world are pretty bad they are they [TS]

  are so how do they know about know with [TS]

  plumber's what do they know of plumbers [TS]

  in this world was the great plumber war [TS]

  and that's why they have a plumber alert [TS]

  because they got rid of all the [TS]

  competent plumbers that could've [TS]

  actually fix the tower and the great [TS]

  plumber / i would like to read your fan [TS]

  fiction Jones movie you're just [TS]

  describing is so much more interesting [TS]

  than the movie we want a great plumber [TS]

  war that's the Super Mario Brothers [TS]

  pretty cool [TS]

  you see the novelization has all sorts [TS]

  of backstory that is in the movie i'm [TS]

  sure dan o'bannon wins again this is the [TS]

  point where i have in my notes the [TS]

  screenplay feels as if it was translated [TS]

  into some other language and then back [TS]

  into it i mean because they temporarily [TS]

  to be the bad guy by shoving him and [TS]

  then running a play [TS]

  well no this is the word they say don't [TS]

  appear to be words that would be said by [TS]

  humans in normal that's just leguizamo [TS]

  second style well there's another wacky [TS]

  car chase I know at this point that the [TS]

  mute the music in this film is bad and [TS]

  not related in any way to the game this [TS]

  would be a perfect time to have video [TS]

  game themes being reused but I it's not [TS]

  related to the game or indeed as my [TS]

  notes continue is anything else i will [TS]

  point out before the car chase there is [TS]

  the thing where the fungus is trying to [TS]

  help them but they're not picking up on [TS]

  it and that the fungus will have to do [TS]

  that about four more times because and [TS]

  well the car plunges but it but they're [TS]

  saved but even before that before they [TS]

  get in the car that the fungus is trying [TS]

  to give them the banana bomb yeah [TS]

  check-offs bomb that went back later [TS]

  right there will be a mom later during [TS]

  the police car chase Mario shouts yeah [TS]

  hey this is driving though that was that [TS]

  was delicious by planting back yeah this [TS]

  is Padres yeah you are dancing really [TS]

  brought it all hope you haven't just to [TS]

  go back to that music for a second [TS]

  because it's so bad in the Action 7 so [TS]

  generic and terrible and it's alan [TS]

  silvestri doing this so it's even more [TS]

  disappointing well maybe it's Alan [TS]

  Silvestri's like interns right [TS]

  de farm this out and I don't have any [TS]

  proof i'm just saying you know did he [TS]

  put his best effort into this because [TS]

  it's bad [TS]

  oh it's very bad i stopped at plumber [TS]

  let's see uh this is the fungus saves [TS]

  the car forming a sort of fungus bungee [TS]

  cord is there are no no this isn't where [TS]

  Luigi's driving skills come into play [TS]

  know that this is all Mario that drives [TS]

  into the fungus but Luigi does tell him [TS]

  to go the wrong way on purpose because [TS]

  he knows that he will then go the right [TS]

  way he's dressed as a priest I was [TS]

  answering emails so this is that would [TS]

  have hit a lot harder if we get been [TS]

  given some sense of the difference [TS]

  between the bridge and the tunnel and [TS]

  why the tunnel was better and the bridge [TS]

  was worse [TS]

  yeah so we can we also get to see the [TS]

  two are too crazy killers who are going [TS]

  to be visiting with the koopa at this [TS]

  point i might my note was that they they [TS]

  sound there they the dialogue is shouted [TS]

  as if they are dubbing themselves that's [TS]

  how it felt like to me is they were just [TS]

  performing their own dough overdubs on [TS]

  the stoop on the set because it's all [TS]

  really loud and shouted for no apparent [TS]

  reason [TS]

  but it doesn't matter because they are [TS]

  evolved they are evolved into [TS]

  intelligent as evidenced by them doing [TS]

  masked very quickly and and writing [TS]

  using big words always the bandwagon [TS]

  the math is wrong yeah it's the [TS]

  Scarecrow effect [TS]

  yeah but and then also later on when [TS]

  they go to actually drive a car and they [TS]

  can't do that yet it the whole involving [TS]

  thing they seem to forgot to incorporate [TS]

  that into the performance because they [TS]

  get chatty and um really quick [TS]

  there's only so far you can evolve [TS]

  Fisher Stevens is it was just like bad [TS]

  sticky stuff from Warner Brothers [TS]

  cartoons alter this [TS]

  oh yeah that the most painful seems [TS]

  maybe when they are on the screen we [TS]

  also get the a lot of anti mammal [TS]

  propaganda at this point which I find [TS]

  strange effect on you i will I fight [TS]

  well yes as a mammal I'd i am offended [TS]

  by but what is again it points out [TS]

  that's just your mammal perfectly i need [TS]

  to check my mammalian privilege at the [TS]

  door I get it but [TS]

  follow me here over emphasizing that [TS]

  some of these human beings who are just [TS]

  standing there like people are dinosaurs [TS]

  and some of these human beings that are [TS]

  standing here as people are are are [TS]

  mammals in the script seems like a [TS]

  mistake when your characters all look [TS]

  exactly the same and yet that is that [TS]

  happens a lot of money on makeup it does [TS]

  we'll just take that stuff out mammals [TS]

  even involved in this alternate universe [TS]

  I don't think they exist i think harper [TS]

  has met his first pair of mammals here i [TS]

  was very confused by that because there [TS]

  is the part where he says he was going [TS]

  to devolve all the mammals and it was [TS]

  like who does that mean right means the [TS]

  ones in the in our universe [TS]

  he's going to come to our universe and [TS]

  evolve them i was unclear by the end of [TS]

  the movie is Daisy evolved from a [TS]

  dinosaur or from fungus and I feel like [TS]

  I should know the answer to that [TS]

  question [TS]

  she's the daughter of a fungus and [TS]

  dinosaur this is also equal to Planet of [TS]

  the Apes because what happens is they [TS]

  devolve everybody on earth into Apes and [TS]

  that's your planet of the apes right [TS]

  there hmm what weren't mammals one of [TS]

  the pizza options [TS]

  yeah yeah yeah yeahs told you have to [TS]

  hold the mammals oh yeah forgot about [TS]

  the wacky ordering pizza with funny [TS]

  things that's like that was we had a [TS]

  leftover joke after making ninja turtles [TS]

  so that sets up a couple of jokes later [TS]

  that don't happen [TS]

  I was offended by the mammal bashing but [TS]

  I remember this movie was made by [TS]

  mammals and now I hate all of selfish ok [TS]

  baby babbles yeah that's the shame of it [TS]

  all anyway they're frustrated the [TS]

  there's a weird scene with the with days [TS]

  ago but I thought I we're seeing you say [TS]

  yeah yeah but then then our friends our [TS]

  friends the dum-dum duo i get to want to [TS]

  give a shout club sorry [TS]

  plumbers why did they have king koopa [TS]

  bathing in mud [TS]

  oh because it this is so clean and sober [TS]

  d at the same time because this is a [TS]

  wacky bizarro world were always this [TS]

  morning for it [TS]

  who is this for who is that scene or [TS]

  well he was soaking his hand like some [TS]

  instant mud at the beginning I assumed [TS]

  that was like he was afraid of fungus [TS]

  because that was a thing that they [TS]

  briefly established and then abandoned [TS]

  was that like he's terrified of fungus [TS]

  like that is something for about like a [TS]

  banana [TS]

  I see himself first and that everyone is [TS]

  sanitizing and they're like spraying [TS]

  everything with Dee fungus stuff that's [TS]

  Dino Purell Tony they then never come [TS]

  back to that and that is not that does [TS]

  not carry forward and then there's turns [TS]

  out there's fungus everywhere but would [TS]

  you have come back to that I I feel like [TS]

  they should have made some choices [TS]

  yeah so the they steal a truck with the [TS]

  help of a plunger because if there's [TS]

  anything that's a professional plumbing [TS]

  tool it is a plunger that America were [TS]

  here I feel like she would tie this into [TS]

  Daleks in some way ya sure hmmm maybe so [TS]

  I just I again I think professional [TS]

  plumbers probably do not carry around [TS]

  plungers that seems more of an amateur [TS]

  tool [TS]

  well what I really like is he assembles [TS]

  the plunger yeah from from little parts [TS]

  inside of his tool belt yeah that's like [TS]

  a soldier assembling the disassembling [TS]

  and reassembling his weapon on you know [TS]

  with it on a blindfolded right who the [TS]

  duality of plumbing [TS]

  yeah yeah let's start to feel figure [TS]

  field strip the plunger no mario has [TS]

  mario mario who Mario Mario yeah i'm [TS]

  sorry is this plunger Lucille and sleeps [TS]

  with a night down dad goes around the [TS]

  tree line yeah so so they they put on [TS]

  bright suits and go to a bizarre dance [TS]

  club I was really disappointed that the [TS]

  bright suits were not reading Green you [TS]

  have any flavor this one I know we get [TS]

  them later but like no that was nonsense [TS]

  i looked up from my emails which I was [TS]

  very much into this point and i said why [TS]

  why the hell is Luigi wearing the red [TS]

  jungler know and Mario was dressed in [TS]

  yellow this is this is stupid [TS]

  also and this this this may be contented [TS]

  statement i found the scene where Mario [TS]

  dances with / seduces Big Bertha to get [TS]

  the stone back to be the most unsettling [TS]

  scene in the working it wasn't it was [TS]

  like watching condiments dance Big [TS]

  Bertha motivations are very random by [TS]

  yes completely seduced here and he [TS]

  punches she punches him in the face and [TS]

  then he goes back and ask for more [TS]

  punches at which please [TS]

  she is complicated we all know she's [TS]

  supposed to be the bouncer in this place [TS]

  yeah but you're not balancing they [TS]

  should really they should be bouncing [TS]

  about that you got to admit they should [TS]

  have made the movie about her that would [TS]

  have been a movie yeah you know it giant [TS]

  evolved fish are there they're [TS]

  complicated you know [TS]

  we're getting an awful lot of thought to [TS]

  a scene which can basically be boiled [TS]

  down to the directors going let's have [TS]

  two fat people dance [TS]

  that'll be fun there are cars crashing [TS]

  down below for no apparent reason [TS]

  mom and there's a Wanted sign in this [TS]

  scene that says and i quote wanted [TS]

  plumbers because again what more do you [TS]

  need to say well I mean update did have [TS]

  two photos bears [TS]

  yeah but this just to show these are the [TS]

  plumbers their wanted remember the gag [TS]

  before where looked like they were going [TS]

  to get shot and they just have their [TS]

  photos taken that reminds you that [TS]

  hilarious that was there was really good [TS]

  i remember that so finally from the [TS]

  video game to yes lots of lots of [TS]

  photography the police lineup seen in [TS]

  yeah first mario brothers we learned [TS]

  that no woman can resist the charm of a [TS]

  mario which is something i was unaware [TS]

  of from the the video game can do this [TS]

  is where we get we get the was not was [TS]

  is walk the dinosaur [TS]

  that's the sailors foretold i think the [TS]

  most disturbing thing in this disturbing [TS]

  scene is when is when big was it big [TS]

  bertha yep but yourselves him dance with [TS]

  me i'll hit you all you like [TS]

  yep who may know what who is this movie [TS]

  for yeah I want to know [TS]

  yeah well it's for the kids but you [TS]

  gotta put something for the grown-ups [TS]

  little something for daddy how can i [TS]

  think i think this movie is only for [TS]

  these two directors and applause I but [TS]

  she has she has jumping boots [TS]

  yeah but before that they do there they [TS]

  have their strategy for how they're [TS]

  going to get the stone out of the [TS]

  nightclub which involves throwing it [TS]

  back and forth until one of them is no [TS]

  longer carrying it at which point they [TS]

  just leave and it would have been easier [TS]

  if they'd just not throwing the stone [TS]

  and love to create this stuff but [TS]

  initially with the floor covered with [TS]

  great yeah yeah yeah great idea [TS]

  Mario great idea the movie really thinks [TS]

  that we're super-excited about them [TS]

  awkwardly jumping like 40 feet or [TS]

  whatever it was that i feel like it's [TS]

  shot and composed and so that we're [TS]

  gonna jump out of our seats like the [TS]

  Millennium Falcon going into hyperspace [TS]

  this is here you thrust your finger up [TS]

  into the air this is where the comic-con [TS]

  audience burst into applause this is [TS]

  this is the greatest most every moment [TS]

  in the movie [TS]

  he has been building up to this when [TS]

  they go up into the air at last they [TS]

  jump hydrate I gradually jump but they [TS]

  never jump onto the head of any any [TS]

  being no they don't [TS]

  which I find where politics was there [TS]

  any jumping previously movies [TS]

  was this the landmark this is after the [TS]

  movie white men can't jump right so [TS]

  really there's a lot that they have to [TS]

  like unwind to like prove that this is [TS]

  possible that he and jump [TS]

  yeah so what one of one of Steve's [TS]

  favorite lines stop fiddling with the [TS]

  fungus all I had that marked for a for a [TS]

  closing line [TS]

  oh well you can still use it and let's [TS]

  get out of here [TS]

  there's also over here pudgy buns in [TS]

  this scene which is a very solid and we [TS]

  learned that there's a throne and made [TS]

  over the throne is a giant blob of [TS]

  fungus coo [TS]

  perhaps it is the King fungus dad i [TS]

  refer to it sir since we've only heard [TS]

  that the king is the fungus like five [TS]

  times the movie so far and then Koopa [TS]

  goes to talk to it for no real reason at [TS]

  all [TS]

  and isn't it nice that he maintains it [TS]

  in the throne room even though he's [TS]

  deposed the king he allows the fungus to [TS]

  remain hovering over the throne because [TS]

  it's in front of energy singles over it [TS]

  and rips good as we know there's also [TS]

  there's a lot of unanswered questions [TS]

  about the governance of Dino Manhattan [TS]

  but it's raining and i'm running he has [TS]

  on his propaganda posters like he's [TS]

  running an election despite the fact [TS]

  that he appears to be like the corporate [TS]

  despots so yeah so he's running [TS]

  unopposed but you still have to go [TS]

  through the motions but you still have [TS]

  to put up posters [TS]

  yes sure you know you don't want to un [TS]

  monitors coming through dimension and [TS]

  like causing a fuss jimmy carter [TS]

  suddenly appears and no man [TS]

  oh we forgive me for not going to fill [TS]

  with my questions about being corrupt [TS]

  dinosaur despotic that was a mistake on [TS]

  my part [TS]

  mistake number one Tony first you [TS]

  collect lots of campaign donations then [TS]

  you have to put up a few posters to make [TS]

  it look like you actually spend your [TS]

  money [TS]

  yeah when you pocket the rest the FEC in [TS]

  dinoworld is very [TS]

  dinoworld is very [TS]

  stringent so you really have to fill out [TS]

  that paperwork about your campaign [TS]

  contributions now and now we get to the [TS]

  most important scene in the film [TS]

  foretold uh earlier by by a couple of [TS]

  you this is the phone the scene at which [TS]

  King Koopa orders a pizza via videophone [TS]

  the orders his own pizza the koopa [TS]

  special but directs the direct the pizza [TS]

  boy to hold the mammal yes which I I'm [TS]

  saying it's not the Cooper special [TS]

  without the mammal which I yeah I don't [TS]

  think what's the point of having a pizza [TS]

  named after yourself if you have to have [TS]

  additional instructions [TS]

  yeah bc send a different mood that you [TS]

  know she gets the mammal but he didn't [TS]

  want to because the mammals are causing [TS]

  him trouble social order is doing upset [TS]

  us sir it is it is extremely difficult [TS]

  to pass mammal when you're a dinosaur [TS]

  yeah it's a plumbing thing for an evil [TS]

  dictator I thought he was pretty polite [TS]

  to the pizza guy [TS]

  yeah yeah although i do i do like [TS]

  nobody's gonna know it's you sir [TS]

  hey Cooper how you doing alright I'll do [TS]

  whatever you want there you know even in [TS]

  even in a a in a dystopian future you do [TS]

  have to have a good service economy [TS]

  yeah yeah and i liked the video phone [TS]

  technology that was pretty sweet what [TS]

  you need to operate with a laser gun [TS]

  well that's the remote control is in the [TS]

  shape of a laser and why that's not in [TS]

  the shape of the Nintendo zapper i will [TS]

  never have no so we we have a scene [TS]

  where there are a bunch of pipes and [TS]

  junk and stuff and the line is look at [TS]

  this it's a plumber's nightmare i [TS]

  actually really like this scene because [TS]

  so many of these crappy action movies [TS]

  have a seam set in what appears to be an [TS]

  abandoned steam factor huh [TS]

  we're just pipes everywhere meeting [TS]

  steam for no reason and 41 earth [TS]

  yeah but for once we act as numbers part [TS]

  about his pirates okay for once we have [TS]

  actual plumbers who look prego [TS]

  wow this place is really sloppily [TS]

  organized although my my thought here is [TS]

  that these people wrote this movie don't [TS]

  actually know what plumbers do [TS]

  yeah i mean still yes they are looking [TS]

  at the steam factory and saying this [TS]

  look at this place [TS]

  it is it is all out of shape and and [TS]

  this and this is where we get them in a [TS]

  little colored outfit they get their [TS]

  jumpsuits and then finally yes we're [TS]

  supposed to cheer at this point again [TS]

  yeah also I think at this point there's [TS]

  to be wild discontinuity between whether [TS]

  they have the jump boots on or don't ya [TS]

  yeah but this is like in Popeye where he [TS]

  finally eat the spinach it's exactly [TS]

  like Popeye in that both movies are [TS]

  terrible [TS]

  how dare you the yellow and red was [TS]

  supposed to instill cognitive dissonance [TS]

  in the universe we look at things i [TS]

  think that's what's wrong and then when [TS]

  they turn up in red and green with like [TS]

  colors are right now they're screwing [TS]

  with us before an orderly the rest of [TS]

  the movie had introduced cognitive out [TS]

  what's the word for a coma and has not [TS]

  contacted Lena Lena and koopa have a [TS]

  scene and then she goes to Daisy Daisy [TS]

  is being fed by a goomba that is sweet [TS]

  on her i think it's towed [TS]

  yes oh yes Monica he's a 12 setting for [TS]

  she's being fed raw meat which heard her [TS]

  dinosaur friend yoshi is interested in [TS]

  get it kids [TS]

  references that maybe only 50 years ago [TS]

  you loved that guy remember how is [TS]

  cartoony and adorable but here is just a [TS]

  scary monster he's kind of shaped like [TS]

  Yoshi though like yeah [TS]

  excessive heat he gets stabbed in that [TS]

  scene i found that he doesn't settling [TS]

  here again for Stannis hopper kicks [TS]

  Yoshi and then she stabs him you don't [TS]

  want to stab a little harmless done his [TS]

  head turned them into something now [TS]

  you're right Yoshi ride with him or [TS]

  something but he uses his tongue to pull [TS]

  you know [TS]

  yeah reference knowledge Mario Brothers [TS]

  film and then and then and then Daisy [TS]

  runs away and finds actually the the [TS]

  toad goomba has brought her vegetables [TS]

  because she says she's a vegetarian and [TS]

  candy raw meat but she probably can [TS]

  write like she's actually you might be a [TS]

  dinosaur she might she might be a [TS]

  dinosaur [TS]

  well they're vegetarian what she is but [TS]

  she doesn't know it because dinosaurs [TS]

  and humans are exactly the same right [TS]

  unless you dissolve them so what what [TS]

  exactly was that steak made of then that [TS]

  her yesterday probably like a light of [TS]

  livestock and mm you know it's a [TS]

  madhouse [TS]

  I was about your account yeah but it [TS]

  sort of looked like it looked like [TS]

  chicken cutlets to me but where do they [TS]

  get every day [TS]

  raise their farm fresh produce because [TS]

  w/o city and I saw that the desert [TS]

  I like also that he had the globe that [TS]

  have the city and then the desert is [TS]

  like why would you make a global like [TS]

  it's just your city and then everything [TS]

  around it is bad [TS]

  like you don't need a global computer [TS]

  well you don't need a globe because he [TS]

  was a globe damn it i guess i feel like [TS]

  it's like a 3d representation of your [TS]

  world is not a meaningful navigational [TS]

  instrument [TS]

  let's see they do they play this is the [TS]

  point part where they play somewhere my [TS]

  love and the goombas all go into trance [TS]

  and begin to dance while the mario and [TS]

  luigi climb through the ceiling of the [TS]

  elevator because everybody likes to [TS]

  dance [TS]

  I think that maybe the best seen in the [TS]

  entire movie really listen to the words [TS]

  coming out of your mouth [TS]

  I retract my statement about how most of [TS]

  the employees of Koopas organization are [TS]

  competent together I retract my [TS]

  statement about how my standards are [TS]

  lower than everybody else [TS]

  I felt like that scene was just weird [TS]

  and bizarre and it's still nonsensical [TS]

  also its kind of unnecessary because [TS]

  they just escaped through the hatch it [TS]

  didn't really seem like they need weed [TS]

  and say we have to get that their [TS]

  transpired for later [TS]

  let's have a bunch of dinosaurs dance [TS]

  and that will be weird and they're in [TS]

  they're like giant trench coats and [TS]

  looking weird and dancing with each [TS]

  other in and I don't know I thought that [TS]

  was like that was not only eraserhead [TS]

  vibe battles that setting up the [TS]

  hilarious call back later that he'll [TS]

  imaginative a way no other seen in the [TS]

  entire 8027 fire at this point by the [TS]

  way [TS]

  oh well he and his harmonica but Daisy [TS]

  goes and gets a fire extinguisher and [TS]

  right out and puts puts him out because [TS]

  he was nice to her [TS]

  I Daisy is presented to her fungus dead [TS]

  fungus dad [TS]

  yo she didn't die from being stabbed but [TS]

  we also have that big reveal of Fisher [TS]

  Stevens saying oh yeah we were actually [TS]

  your father's most loyal supporters [TS]

  that's why we've been involved in this [TS]

  kidnapping thing to the whole movie [TS]

  oh yeah yeah yeah but they were super [TS]

  done before so what does that tell you [TS]

  about fungus dad's rule [TS]

  yeah maybe it's all just a con that's [TS]

  probably why everything falls apart at [TS]

  the end maybe they were accidentally [TS]

  devolved guys if you watch it again [TS]

  you'll see all the clothes in there your [TS]

  loyal retainers among [TS]

  it's in there you gotta read between the [TS]

  locking I find her reaction to the fact [TS]

  that fungus dad is a fungus dad to be a [TS]

  little bit off the mark [TS]

  how do you feel that seems to have gone [TS]

  I I feel like maybe she might have been [TS]

  a little disturbed that her dad was a [TS]

  fungus that was drooling and dripping [TS]

  from the ceiling [TS]

  that's 11 taking she's sort of bored by [TS]

  the whole thing was she is but she heard [TS]

  it explained so many times at this point [TS]

  the hell yeah it's probably okay with it [TS]

  I feel like she's trying even less than [TS]

  Dennis Hopper like dancing makes no [TS]

  impression on me Daisy use a plastic gun [TS]

  to control her computer again especially [TS]

  user interfaces they use the plastic [TS]

  guns again not the Nintendo zapper know [TS]

  then we get a great moment where Mario [TS]

  Luigi run through a giant pipe and I [TS]

  wrote down look it's just like the video [TS]

  game and there are mushrooms good god [TS]

  why didn't we see any of this earlier it [TS]

  there they run through a pipe there are [TS]

  mushrooms suddenly it's the video game [TS]

  we love right they've got their colors [TS]

  on this is it we've made it people that [TS]

  what that was a really low bar to clear [TS]

  it was it big big player your Chinese [TS]

  coins there's once there's one scene 80 [TS]

  minutes in where briefly it resembles [TS]

  things from a video game room and that's [TS]

  it [TS]

  now we move back to the good way we [TS]

  visit the Goomba barracks Daniela's and [TS]

  Cooper barracks with the other girls [TS]

  from Brooklyn there's a sequence here [TS]

  where Cooper yells muster the google [TS]

  bars which I really enjoyed he catches [TS]

  Daisy and Luigi send the troops to earth [TS]

  4d evolution and then turns and says [TS]

  where's my pizza [TS]

  oh that pizza guys going to get it [TS]

  I feel like the pizza art was really too [TS]

  compressed to make much of an impact [TS]

  that is not a good that that line does [TS]

  not pay off [TS]

  well it does pay off because later on he [TS]

  gets a call guy saying your pizza's here [TS]

  well that in fact that happens right [TS]

  after the we get the totally extreme [TS]

  guitar song as they slide through the [TS]

  ice to that's my least favorite scene in [TS]

  the movie see there's your ice level [TS]

  that you would get in the tube that tube [TS]

  leads to right outside where all the bad [TS]

  guys are so you can fall on top of [TS]

  another note i was happy to make here [TS]

  then a bunch of Brooklyn broads write a [TS]

  mattress down the inside of a frozen [TS]

  pipe while one huge man with the tiny [TS]

  lizard head right another huge man with [TS]

  the tiny lizard head like a sled [TS]

  ya know I movie know what we can write [TS]

  that no at which point dennis hopper [TS]

  gets the call sir your pizza's here [TS]

  boom but and hilarity [TS]

  yeah you're right Monty that you we [TS]

  should've stretched out a little bit [TS]

  longer i would like to have seen him [TS]

  call back to the delivery kid the kid at [TS]

  the people that have been your after the [TS]

  credits sequence [TS]

  yeah it going hello my salary [TS]

  what did you got the order wrong [TS]

  wouldn't have been hilarious we could [TS]

  have devolved him into a pizza put it [TS]

  into a topping for his pizza mushroom [TS]

  zing yeah living together hold the [TS]

  mushrooms that would have been mushrooms [TS]

  on the pizza would have been begging for [TS]

  their lives it would've been hilarious [TS]

  so the the de-evolution gun yeah is the [TS]

  super scope from the steps which is [TS]

  basically the version of the zapper for [TS]

  this nest which is much less iconic and [TS]

  recognizable than a zapper barely [TS]

  recognizable i would say yep but that [TS]

  that is that's the thing that you're in [TS]

  some actual nintendo reference [TS]

  yeah enjoy it passively couldn't play is [TS]

  over you your p tell you now that I know [TS]

  about it i did really adds another level [TS]

  to the movie doesn't it it adds a level [TS]

  to a movie that didn't have one [TS]

  previously is this is a war zone joke I [TS]

  don't get it [TS]

  the troops are dancing again to some [TS]

  somewhere my love and a jet boots they [TS]

  throw a jet boot at coupa and it knocks [TS]

  him off [TS]

  yes it's the classic Mario jet boots [TS]

  attack just like in the video game is [TS]

  pretty easy like they've not Koopa down [TS]

  several times this movie no one of the [TS]

  times they knock him down [TS]

  they actually put the line have a nice [TS]

  trip see you next fall into a movie a [TS]

  professional real movie will admire that [TS]

  so bad [TS]

  don't do anything I wouldn't do I'm [TS]

  getting too old for this [TS]

  don't let your meat loaf Wow trust the [TS]

  fungus we are told here this is the [TS]

  metaphysical moments like use the Force [TS]

  Luke well in this movie trust on this [TS]

  fungus [TS]

  yeah as they were doing in the directors [TS]

  booth the rock falls off and leaving [TS]

  catches it and falls down she seems to [TS]

  be electrocuted but isn't you need to [TS]

  see her fried on the electric car grid [TS]

  you know for because you know it's a [TS]

  kids movie is foreshadowing she's gonna [TS]

  get electrocuted again you know what she [TS]

  matched again when she's electrocuted [TS]

  and then survives [TS]

  I'm thinking okay this is not a movie [TS]

  where death happens just i'll be able to [TS]

  do a thousand security look Marty but [TS]

  her hair looks great at that point it [TS]

  does huh of course it goes bride of [TS]

  frankenstein as the windows to point out [TS]

  that i saw this movie not 24 hours ago [TS]

  and everything you're saying to me is [TS]

  like new [TS]

  you may have passed out don't know I [TS]

  just I just stopped paying attention at [TS]

  a certain point I would look up from the [TS]

  screen and all the plumber i will say [TS]

  harder when Cooper is in that like [TS]

  construction thing and Mario is like [TS]

  under it and Cooper is like shooting [TS]

  down at him legally felt like a boss [TS]

  fight from my mario game as you like [TS]

  someone had described maybe they had [TS]

  written a letter to the director is [TS]

  perfect what the end of super mario [TS]

  world was like and they're running a [TS]

  little trouble you know with your video [TS]

  game movie could you maybe send us an [TS]

  example of what a video game is the ball [TS]

  shoots fireballs read directions [TS]

  yeah that from a thing and mario has to [TS]

  jump under him and then yes hanging from [TS]

  a thing [TS]

  yeah just like in The Big Sleep where [TS]

  they had to contact the author Raymond [TS]

  Chandler Raymond Chandler to figure out [TS]

  what was going on the directors of this [TS]

  movie had to contact the 30 year old kid [TS]

  and have them explain a boss battle to [TS]

  them so there you go [TS]

  he uh at this point we get the he's got [TS]

  a bomb see because that's check out [TS]

  Bob from earlier which is is minuscule [TS]

  and probably can't be seen by anybody [TS]

  more than five feet away the very [TS]

  anything winding everybody can spot like [TS]

  this dinosaurs have really good vision [TS]

  so Selena plugs the little gym into the [TS]

  into the meteorite and wait first before [TS]

  that you okay did we send the Brooklyn [TS]

  rods away back through the the rock wall [TS]

  yes ah Luigi yells get to Brooklyn tell [TS]

  about the invasion and the Koopas yeah [TS]

  that's gonna go well people were very [TS]

  trusting in New York City 1983 a bunch [TS]

  of curry looking ladies are gonna run [TS]

  out and tell the FBI about an alternate [TS]

  universe filled with dinosaurs that look [TS]

  like people and how they're about to [TS]

  invade like you wouldn't watch that show [TS]

  the TV news was covering alternate [TS]

  dimensions very straightforward from [TS]

  earlier that looks right [TS]

  yes although i don't think it's really [TS]

  an issue because as we saw when they [TS]

  entered the rock wall on the opposite [TS]

  side of that rock wall is a gigantic [TS]

  chasm it's about 200 feet down but there [TS]

  are don't they appear briefly later I [TS]

  think they're there later [TS]

  therefore you survive don't worry about [TS]

  really don't she'll be dead you don't [TS]

  worry about their to say yeah it's a [TS]

  safe landing [TS]

  yeah this this was a bridge too far for [TS]

  me that little that lack of continuity [TS]

  right there that was that it really [TS]

  broken like the movie you were just you [TS]

  doing solid until we got there [TS]

  yeah that was it that was it alright [TS]

  done w sticks this thing in the in the [TS]

  in the asteroid and her [TS]

  sorry the video right Brooklyn meteorite [TS]

  the great for media rate of six million [TS]

  years ago and it's slammed into the wall [TS]

  as a skeleton to which we get the [TS]

  classic line while she sure makes an [TS]

  impression for that just does not sit [TS]

  well with me like yes a woman just died [TS]

  yeah the deck anyone is a crime against [TS]

  all mankind here so death does happen in [TS]

  this movie its yes you know it's quippy [TS]

  to quit the experience things begin to [TS]

  derezzed almost run like as we emerged [TS]

  into brooklyn done verging haha Layton [TS]

  the mood Slightly I'd like to call out [TS]

  the incredible 1993 CGI effects which as [TS]

  in Lawnmower Man consists solely of [TS]

  turning people into a whole bunch of [TS]

  little spheres that roughly those are [TS]

  not here those are dots [TS]

  here's were not available now its peers [TS]

  would have been too hard to render their [TS]

  just yes dots yeah those thank-you [TS]

  thank-you to get partial I fact single [TS]

  pixel 31 your internet we have two [TS]

  particle effects I don't think so what [TS]

  if the breakdown between the universe's [TS]

  had made everything look more pix elated [TS]

  little video game ask that would have [TS]

  been interesting all that'd be great [TS]

  yeah I'm into that [TS]

  yeah instead it's just gonna make the [TS]

  two characters that are important in [TS]

  this movie moved to the other dimension [TS]

  everybody else taken to stay behind guys [TS]

  what if anything in this movie had [TS]

  resembled a video game in some way [TS]

  yeah like pleasantville but instead of a [TS]

  black-and-white world it's a video game [TS]

  world it's all pixelated and I would [TS]

  never work [TS]

  let's say the shoots capelli in his suit [TS]

  and he turns into a chimp yeah there's a [TS]

  chimp in the movie that song and [TS]

  everybody is delighted in spite of the [TS]

  fact that something horrifying it [TS]

  impossible is just happened right in [TS]

  front of it if it's New York money [TS]

  that's a tuesday for ya [TS]

  also they they never fix this capelli [TS]

  thing like they don't like it did [TS]

  improve them back today [TS]

  what you said you don't get the sequel [TS]

  and let's see you get that plumbing jobs [TS]

  faster now see ya ali rampage [TS]

  that's a video game with a monkey in it [TS]

  yeah there you go it turns into a bigger [TS]

  monkey somebody fact check this joke i [TS]

  just thought there's going to be a [TS]

  sequel called super mario brothers too [TS]

  but it's really a totally different [TS]

  japanese movie that we died the name of [TS]

  ya don't doki doki panick me they won't [TS]

  release it here because it's too [TS]

  cerebral for ya [TS]

  alright a mushroom saves Mario because [TS]

  he learns to trust the mushrooms trust [TS]

  the fungus and it makes him he makes the [TS]

  mushroom big just like in the video game [TS]

  where mushrooms baked Mario big did we [TS]

  miss the part where Luigi thinks he's [TS]

  flying because we skip that is that was [TS]

  a long time ago that skin are very [TS]

  unnecessary that writing was awful [TS]

  yeah that was the one seen that really [TS]

  wasn't necessary i have noticed that [TS]

  they do not form any sort of coherent [TS]

  whole so I don't know wasn't either do [TS]

  that city's the movie was it not form a [TS]

  coherent whole he thinks he's flying [TS]

  actually just hanging from his tool belt [TS]

  was a really good time for a prank and [TS]

  then hilariously Mario thinks he's [TS]

  flying to so he jumps to but he wasn't [TS]

  really flying is hanging from his tool [TS]

  belt [TS]

  why is that in [TS]

  they're so the fungus has to say also [TS]

  the fuck we haven't at this point heard [TS]

  enough about the fungus and seen it [TS]

  saved more than 15 times so they need to [TS]

  throw another one in there just in case [TS]

  we were picking it up [TS]

  that's a Mario's journey is that he [TS]

  learns to trust it's ok he starts off [TS]

  skeptical but by the end of the movie [TS]

  he's willing to believe anything he gets [TS]

  really a real Joseph Campbell situation [TS]

  you have money is money is right this is [TS]

  anything is possible Mario you just [TS]

  gotta believe [TS]

  mm that's parappa the rapper that's a [TS]

  whole different state they separate the [TS]

  universe's toad place somewhere my love [TS]

  on the harmonica when I made you got a [TS]

  point out that dennis hopper for no [TS]

  apparent reason as he's merging back [TS]

  into his own universe shouts whoa no [TS]

  okay [TS]

  which means back yes so we just had the [TS]

  movie explain to us what it's made of [TS]

  commentary yes but i also like is when [TS]

  they dissolve back and forth between [TS]

  dimensions every single time date [TS]

  they're like okay well how can we spice [TS]

  this up a little more and it's like [TS]

  let's that's been his head [TS]

  let's have there twirling around that's [TS]

  really important in a weird like a [TS]

  stop-motion animation twist that happens [TS]

  before it's replaced with the actual [TS]

  dennis hopper [TS]

  mmm yeah you think that was in the [TS]

  script though guano or did was he [TS]

  ripping their no that was just shouts [TS]

  something to shouts something else just [TS]

  shouting just keep shouting pull guano I [TS]

  would they like it they use that me edit [TS]

  comments good good good guano good good [TS]

  action i took place somewhere my love on [TS]

  harmonica there by the goobers are [TS]

  distracted we get one more [TS]

  ah plot that happened the shows up with [TS]

  some fresh boots for that he's shot with [TS]

  the dip devolution gun and blown up by [TS]

  the bomb which is finally kind of come [TS]

  all the way around he turns into a big [TS]

  alligator and wait yeah [TS]

  wait you can't let this go by without [TS]

  pointing out my mom has to have a little [TS]

  Reeboks on it does because what must be [TS]

  the cause of insane and misguided [TS]

  product placement of all time this is [TS]

  why no one wears Reeboks anymore it was [TS]

  this this is the reason huh [TS]

  mrs. interesting heard mom I was a kind [TS]

  of fragile mental state after [TS]

  after watching this movie and so I went [TS]

  and read many internet forum where [TS]

  people argue about whether it's [TS]

  pronounced bomb or bob baum you know ya [TS]

  terminaste da bomb as a kid and then [TS]

  somebody said the bomb and I went oh [TS]

  controversial controversial it's clearly [TS]

  supposed to be on a model poetic i can [TS]

  only be bomb [TS]

  there's a lot of unanswered questions in [TS]

  the mothers nothing remotely poetic [TS]

  about this movie [TS]

  yeah I he turns into a big alligator in [TS]

  a pot to which they say see you later [TS]

  alligator alligator and then turn them [TS]

  into kind of a t-rex that devolves into [TS]

  slime and I think that's the second or [TS]

  third time they've said see you later [TS]

  alligator in this movie looks like a [TS]

  die-hard I said it like and i really [TS]

  keep saying yippie ki-yay this is how [TS]

  you get the catchphrase across right [TS]

  it's a licensed pharmacist all branding [TS]

  is the fuck is everybody was like hey [TS]

  trust the fungus see you later alligator [TS]

  is it possible with this movie introduce [TS]

  the phrase see you later alligator was [TS]

  hoping it is quite possible that would [TS]

  actually do that the good news the King [TS]

  revolves he's laying Henrickson he has [TS]

  one line he says love those plumbers [TS]

  yeah that was a good wife is why I [TS]

  resent hopper devolving back into [TS]

  primordial ooze trigger and fungus dad [TS]

  to turn back into the king i [TS]

  don't--there's kind of like a ding dong [TS]

  the witch is dead and like never like [TS]

  he's dead and then like everybody's like [TS]

  paint over the propaganda and there's [TS]

  like this freaky little everybody i [TS]

  think yeah I was imagining that there [TS]

  there's a lengthy process of revolving [TS]

  everybody but it takes time [TS]

  mhm that was what I thought in my head [TS]

  candidate for super mario party that was [TS]

  that was Henrickson really i don't know [TS]

  do [TS]

  oh yeah man yeah it's a real kind of you [TS]

  know they're leaving out that last [TS]

  season of Babylon 5 or we find out how [TS]

  the Mushroom Kingdom rebuild of those [TS]

  plumbers Lance Henriksen will return and [TS]

  duck hunt the movie with this the [TS]

  snickering dog was was that Henrickson [TS]

  playing fungus dad as well because I [TS]

  could see him like getting into that [TS]

  role [TS]

  three weeks later yeah [TS]

  there was two I don't think i was [TS]

  looking at the screen at that point [TS]

  Mario with me around the news being [TS]

  praised for saving the universe [TS]

  why I daresay I'd call them the Super [TS]

  Mario Brothers we should point out that [TS]

  daisy has stayed behind to rule over her [TS]

  yet she has she has to stay behind [TS]

  because she's that they're putting [TS]

  together all the pieces after the Kings [TS]

  come back and the koopa has ruined [TS]

  everything so she's got she can't go [TS]

  with them she has to stay with her [TS]

  people i think the movie does not [TS]

  approve of species mixing know so three [TS]

  weeks later though they're on the news [TS]

  yes indeed i think i think we call the [TS]

  super mario brothers Rick and Karla [TS]

  everybody everybody simply believed [TS]

  their story about saving an [TS]

  alternate-dimension even though the only [TS]

  evidence they have is some guys with [TS]

  lizard heads and dennis hopper turned up [TS]

  at a construction site for 30 seconds [TS]

  and turn to guy into a monkey [TS]

  Dennis Hopper turned a guy into a monkey [TS]

  in front of thousands beautiful where [TS]

  this chicken saw that Steve well copy [TS]

  the obvious conjecture from that point [TS]

  is that there's an alternate dimension [TS]

  in need of saving and there are probably [TS]

  some plumbers off saving it so Daisy [TS]

  returns three weeks later and she says [TS]

  mario luigi you gotta come with me it's [TS]

  not you it's your kids they never haha [TS]

  yeah we need your help [TS]

  where we're going we don't need roads no [TS]

  well pretty much that's what she says [TS]

  and that's the end of our meats though [TS]

  other than almost unreal perform yeah by [TS]

  roxette the credits are so proud of this [TS]

  Roxette song gets its own page that's [TS]

  why friends when I dropped out before I [TS]

  could get to that great morning stinger [TS]

  at the end of the movie that apparently [TS]

  made it all worthwhile [TS]

  and with that the door is open for [TS]

  hundreds of quality video game movies to [TS]

  pour forth this without this would there [TS]

  have been a wing commander I think not [TS]

  with their benefit street fighter with [TS]

  there been a more plausible more about [TS]

  movies a couple years ago for uh a [TS]

  publication no longer employees me [TS]

  we did it we did a piece a in relation [TS]

  to the record Ralph a premier that was [TS]

  basically here are the great video game [TS]

  movie hits and misses and all the all [TS]

  the video game movies that are the least [TS]

  but watchable are ones that are not [TS]

  based on actual video games [TS]

  or you that our document or their [TS]

  documentaries and the one where did ya [TS]

  rod king kong king of kong or grande [TS]

  more games [TS]

  yeah we're getting Williams the last [TS]

  night yeah those are good movies pretty [TS]

  good movie Joe but didn't take that job [TS]

  though the ones that are based on actual [TS]

  video keep several terabytes of course [TS]

  they are right then let me so we can all [TS]

  agree that if you were just given some [TS]

  money to write a screenplay based on on [TS]

  Super Mario Brothers I I think we can [TS]

  all agree that any one of us could do a [TS]

  better job than this i don't i don't [TS]

  agree i don't think there is a good [TS]

  version of a weekend with real money [TS]

  well this is my point is we I think we [TS]

  can all agree we could do maybe [TS]

  something better than this but this is [TS]

  my this is my question which is could a [TS]

  good movie ever be made of one of these [TS]

  video games I i have a hard time [TS]

  believing that that is possible [TS]

  well not out of a video game that has no [TS]

  story of yeah he's always mad Mario [TS]

  Brothers at this point did not there [TS]

  were I mean keep in mind at this point [TS]

  there were like many many hours of a [TS]

  lackluster Super Mario Brothers cartoon [TS]

  so it seems like they have like [TS]

  harvested the best bits of that and made [TS]

  something with that I could make a hell [TS]

  of a movie based on dig dug tell you [TS]

  that haha oh man its camera opens John [TS]

  ham and a post-apocalyptic world and a [TS]

  tight white jumpsuits yeah and he's he [TS]

  jammed that thing into his arm when no [TS]

  one's looking he's got he's got problems [TS]

  yeah yeah exactly it's about addiction [TS]

  Tony yeah to digging and digging I'm [TS]

  with you could you could turn mario kart [TS]

  into Cannonball Run yeah same idea that [TS]

  you could turn a modern game like red [TS]

  dead redemption could be a perfectly [TS]

  acceptable Western ok seems that our art [TS]

  that are already cinematic in nature i [TS]

  think it very easily be adapted like the [TS]

  Silent Hill game movie was not great but [TS]

  it also was okay and I'm drawing a blank [TS]

  and any other ones but residents [TS]

  actually pretty well i would say the [TS]

  resident evil residents are good yeah [TS]

  they're there are movies they're moving [TS]

  they have dragons lair we could do a [TS]

  drainage layer movie it was basis [TS]

  yeah i just i don't think people have [TS]

  when they're given the kind of money you [TS]

  get to make a video game movie [TS]

  Shakespeare based the tempest on the [TS]

  tempest you don't know you could do a [TS]

  miss pac-man movie not packing a miss [TS]

  pac-man I understand yeah well that's [TS]

  the good one yeah yeah but Susan [TS]

  Sarandon is miss pac-man sort of Elliot [TS]

  the IRG gain 300 pounds for the role [TS]

  she's committed to our already cuz miss [TS]

  pac-man surround yeah yeah [TS]

  oh yes you are right yeah he also got [TS]

  jaundice for it it's just makeup i think [TS]

  this is one of those cases like these [TS]

  computers yeah probably would help out a [TS]

  little [TS]

  Harvey Keitel is Klaus all hairy pitfall [TS]

  area would be a movies in a way the new [TS]

  Ghostbusters movie is miss pac-man [TS]

  ladies fighting ghosts [TS]

  oh well now you know my new york city [TS]

  because baby it's based on a grid who [TS]

  was originally afraid of no ghost pacman [TS]

  I don't think you generally get a whole [TS]

  huge budget when you're told to make a [TS]

  video game movie yeah you get a pittance [TS]

  and it's not enough to buy a decent [TS]

  script based off of a game that doesn't [TS]

  already have a back story that's rich [TS]

  well did so but look how much money they [TS]

  spent on the Battleship movie I was just [TS]

  saying so yeah the Battleship movie and [TS]

  and also this this one even for its time [TS]

  is 48 million oh my god [TS]

  yeah so it raked in 20 million which is [TS]

  that you know pretty it's not very good [TS]

  for no not it that's not good at all you [TS]

  know that is some serious word-of-mouth [TS]

  you would think they could have gotten [TS]

  48 million just by dumb kids going to [TS]

  see the Super Mario Brothers movie but [TS]

  apparently not i wouldn't spit on 20 [TS]

  million dollars i saw this when I was [TS]

  about 13 I was disappointed [TS]

  so yeah I saw it in theaters to speaking [TS]

  of Monte working in the theater [TS]

  this is one of the only times I've ever [TS]

  been in the theater I didn't see it in [TS]

  the theater but i remember going to the [TS]

  theater and having all the people [TS]

  working at the theater warned me away [TS]

  from seeing it don't see this movie but [TS]

  it also surprised anyone that they got [TS]

  the right [TS]

  it's to do this for two million dollars [TS]

  from Nintendo how much do you think [TS]

  nintendo was actually involved in this [TS]

  because i did see the copyright 1993 [TS]

  nintendo at the very tail end of the [TS]

  credits [TS]

  that's what Roland rafi used to convince [TS]

  them to sell it to him in a small [TS]

  company instead of selling it to a major [TS]

  studio because the idea was that [TS]

  Nintendo would have more creative [TS]

  control over it with a small company [TS]

  everybody paid on that really people [TS]

  apparently miyamoto said according to [TS]

  wikipedia it was a fun project to put a [TS]

  lot of effort into about the movement [TS]

  have tried to get a little too close to [TS]

  what the Mario Brothers video games [TS]

  where he is such a nice guy that is [TS]

  there knowing anyone has ever ended that [TS]

  sense it became a movie that was about a [TS]

  video game rather than being wait for it [TS]

  rather than being added to an [TS]

  entertaining movie in and of itself that [TS]

  is that is the nicest thing you could [TS]

  say but the 10-1 did the Strategos the [TS]

  movie john keel good play the spy and he [TS]

  didn't mention the 600 executives that [TS]

  committed harakiri at the end of this [TS]

  community [TS]

  Wow uh yeah I so so super mario brothers [TS]

  what we learned people don't watch it [TS]

  don't watch Super Mario Brothers yeah [TS]

  that's a good lesson [TS]

  oh you're supposed to jump between the [TS]

  first two turtles don't don't make [TS]

  movies about games unless it's connect [TS]

  four and you can get sir ian mckellen to [TS]

  say pretty sneaky sis to don't make [TS]

  movies about video games three certainly [TS]

  don't make movies about stupid Mario and [TS]

  his stupid brother someday someone is [TS]

  going to prove you wrong you know years [TS]

  ago somebody said don't make movies [TS]

  based on rides at Disneyland and yet how [TS]

  does the Caribbean worked out [TS]

  yeah we never really i want to maybe the [TS]

  video games and what I'm looking forward [TS]

  to auto key underneath all that country [TS]

  bears movie [TS]

  apparently the most successful video [TS]

  game movie is the prince of persia movie [TS]

  how get out of town [TS]

  I just was little doubt about that yeah [TS]

  that was that was in the well that's [TS]

  wrong hall jig and haul it was [TS]

  along with some flophouse the present [TS]

  already seen ya your family gene [TS]

  gyllenhaal aside Illinois it's only call [TS]

  it science jake gyllenhaal we are a [TS]

  prince of persia did better the tomb [TS]

  raider to murder his third foul our [TS]

  resident evil afterlife is second [TS]

  resident evil retribution it is worth I [TS]

  believe this bar is so low to clear you [TS]

  would actually have to dig into the [TS]

  earth 5,000 feet below the surface to [TS]

  click the bar i think the point is that [TS]

  if there's a good video game movie to be [TS]

  made it is probably to be made out of a [TS]

  video game movie that is cinematic and [TS]

  its own scope and not a film based on [TS]

  something as simple all be enjoyable as [TS]

  the mario games all right I'm ready to [TS]

  write this script tell me what happens [TS]

  to this video game [TS]

  well there's a guy in overalls got a [TS]

  mustache and he runs to the right and [TS]

  he's a plumber stop and struck oil well [TS]

  he was a plumber we're not really sure [TS]

  what he does now [TS]

  he was a plumber he was a guy who worked [TS]

  at the construction site this Bailey hi [TS]

  guy go in big pipe [TS]

  sometimes he gets really big you have to [TS]

  put that in if you don't want to [TS]

  other times he shoots fire maybe not put [TS]

  that in either i don't know that's [TS]

  pretty much it [TS]

  one quite all with it can I justify him [TS]

  dressing up like a raccoon sometimes if [TS]

  it [TS]

  yeah you could alright I I think it's [TS]

  time for us to declare this movie dead [TS]

  yes huh thank you all for watching this [TS]

  film it was bad i was this maybe though [TS]

  this may be well i have not watched all [TS]

  the rocket surgery movies this may be [TS]

  the worst one I've seen [TS]

  I had to stop a couple of times I the [TS]

  base base myself through this one this [TS]

  is a pretty bad movie the end it's not [TS]

  it's not even in an enjoyable kind of [TS]

  bad like Zardoz ya know is jordan is [TS]

  still bad it's good kind of movie it was [TS]

  happily made like I said I'd I didn't [TS]

  even know disagree you don't think so [TS]

  disagreements competent you think you [TS]

  can say bad there's a bad not a good bad [TS]

  this is and is not a good movie on [TS]

  anyone acting as an awful the [TS]

  design although it was pretty much [TS]

  entirely crypt for max headroom i love [TS]

  that was in max headroom so I sort of [TS]

  enjoyed that I guess it was left over [TS]

  from Max Headroom yeah i did not enjoy [TS]

  this movie on any level we just hit fast [TS]

  forward at certain points and left I [TS]

  mean slow fast forward but you know [TS]

  she's wrong as we didn't have to listen [TS]

  to her aid [TS]

  Peter like I am lowers out of the club [TS]

  yeah well you didn't even enjoy it on [TS]

  level 30 [TS]

  you're dead to me casual is there is [TS]

  damage alright heavy side as he / Mario [TS]

  Brothers well thank you nineteen [TS]

  nineties for all that you've given us [TS]

  with super mario brothers [TS]

  mm I i would like to thank my panel of [TS]

  experts who told us all there was to see [TS]

  in the seat the heat hidden layers of [TS]

  Super Mario Brothers Tony sindelar thank [TS]

  you for being here [TS]

  you're welcome just sitting here in my [TS]

  frog suit called the loan [TS]

  okay see what thank you Jason to cleanse [TS]

  the palate after this abomination of a [TS]

  mario film i think i would like to [TS]

  remind us of better gentler times in the [TS]

  Super Mario Brothers universe when I say [TS]

  do the mario swing your arms from side [TS]

  to side come on it's time to go to the [TS]

  mario take one step and then again let's [TS]

  do the mario all together now yeah David [TS]

  lower thank you up left right punch [TS]

  llama Joseph rosenstiel thank you very [TS]

  much for being here thank you got two [TS]

  words for you in comparable reference [TS]

  acknowledged excellent work quality [TS]

  Ashley thank you know 45 what percentage [TS]

  is that I don't know what is pretty bad [TS]

  and i laughed at that and still Michael [TS]

  thank you burn in hell everyone [TS]

  associated [TS]

  I don't get that reference and for the [TS]

  uncomfortable and the rocket surgery I [TS]

  have been your host Jason Snelling [TS]

  where's my pizza lovers [TS]

  I baked you to watch the doctor Moreau [TS]

  you didn't make a compelling case for it [TS]

  that somebody made products Monty I body [TS]

  had a poster i said that i had a taste [TS]

  of that sealed the deal [TS]

  words have meaning money use them [TS]

  careful he never be great to watch [TS]

  pixels now [TS]

  no no we've learned what happens when we [TS]

  do this body wants all right no more [TS]

  surgery that's right [TS]