Hello Internet

H.I. 94: Video of Meaninglessness


  so gray do you know how I know you've

  changed how do you know that I've

  changed well moments before we started

  this Cole hmm I received a message from

  you which was a video of you picking up

  a mr. chompers dog poo yeah as requested

  as requested and I was looking at going

  he's changed and then the FaceTime Co

  happens up you pop on my screen and

  there you are cuddling mr. chompers mr.

  chompers is in the house right now sadly

  I can't have him here while I'm

  recording because the chomping sounds

  would overwhelm everything he's really

  into his chew bones it would literally

  be just the background of the entire

  podcast and you think people wouldn't

  like that I think it would be

  distracting I think that people wouldn't

  like that

  so he's currently in the other room

  being looked after by my wife and he's a

  very sleepy dog because he had a huge

  walk through the park today

  so he's chilling out right now in the

  next room I have to say I'm impressed by

  mr. chompers cuteness I would say he's

  approaching 80 to 90% of Audrey cuteness

  oh okay is that how you measure dog

  cuteness you know only asymptotically

  approach one Audrey for cuteness is that

  how that works yeah it can't ever

  actually be reached but you know but

  dogs can get closer and closer to what

  one Audrey of cuteness he's pretty cute

  he may lose a bit of that as he gets a

  bit bigger but he's still quite a sight

  yeah he's adorable but they do grow up

  so fast no not if you've got an Audrey

  it's true she does not change in size

  but they D puppy so fast that's true

  like I look into his little mr. chompers

  face and even just over the weeks that

  I've known him I can see that he's

  getting a little bit more jolly in his

  face iris like oh your puppy face is

  becoming just a bit more jolly as you

  get older he's still super adorable I

  think the same thing about you sometimes

  I think we all get more jelly as we as

  we age it's like what you're getting a

  squeeze now little guy like that's

  what's happening right little squeeze

  maybe a little kiss on the head is

  nothing but purifying after mr. chompers

  you put your mouth on him yeah what's we

  didn't you kiss a dog Brady not on the

  middle obviously cuz they're disgusting

  and peep

  do that that is vile right that is

  absolutely vile and I have to say as key

  as mr. chompers is he would be quite

  high on the list of dogs I would not

  want to kiss on the mouth there's one of

  these things where it's a bit like

  having a baby where it where they do

  like a gross thing and you feel like the

  parents are always like oh but it's my

  baby so it's less gross mr. chompers

  does have this habit of sneezing right

  into my face and sometimes I can sense

  that it's coming like a split second

  before it's about to happen yeah you

  could see like he's that he's like a

  snout II dog with a huge amount when he

  sneezes right in your face it is so

  gross gross it is not a light delicate

  sneeze it's disgusting but now a little

  kiss on the top of the head for mr.

  chompers yeah that's perfectly fine

  that's nice but like people who do dog

  kisses on the mouth disgusting

  sharing ice cream with the dog gross

  right don't to that that's that's

  revolting you got any more mr. chompers

  stories to share what's been going on

  what's the what's the latest well I mean

  here's the thing Brady you said I have

  changed I don't think I have changed at

  all I'm still the same person hmm but I

  do feel like I've fallen into an

  alternate universe version of London

  because we've been training mr. chompers

  to be better a walking walking not his

  strongest suit

  he can be very stubborn and just sort of

  sits there but he's gotten much better

  and in the past mm 10 days we can now

  take him on real little walks like what

  we're walking through the park and he's

  coming along and he's doing great but

  now this means we're in our local park

  and there are neighborhood dogs here

  well mr. jumpers is one of them yeah mr.

  chompers is totally one of the

  neighborhood dogs and there's a thing

  that which I think I've mentioned before

  but I think it's fantastic which is in

  London and I think almost every single

  Park dog czar just allowed off the

  leashes which is fantastic I think it's

  the way that it should be dogs just go

  like run wild and crazy in the park and

  this actually going to some of the

  themes of the show I think is a perfect

  case where things are more safe when

  they seem less safe like so by having

  all of the dogs off of the leashes

  they're just fine like they're just

  running around doing what they want and

  they don't really interact with people

  and there is a way

  dogs when they're on leashes the very

  fact that they're on a leash can sort of

  agitate them into more aggressive

  behavior so I think it's better for

  everybody when the dogs are off the

  leash --is and they're just like running

  around I agree with that the sort of the

  natural order of things can be done

  whereas if they're on a leash as well

  you know dogs can't run and move in the

  ways that they need to in sort of dog

  world and it's also like like when we're

  sort of training mr. chompers about how

  to be polite in his interactions with

  other dogs like because he's still a

  little bit too young we are keeping him

  on the leash but it's very clear to see

  that there's a way in which like if we

  don't notice that a dog is coming and he

  sort of jumps that the tugging of the

  leash will like amp him up whereas if

  you just have him sit down and sort of

  put him into sitting position then he's

  very calm and everything's fine but it's

  like the leash can aggravate some dog

  behavior but anyway all of this is to

  say when you're in the park and dogs are

  not on leashes and this is just the way

  they are dogs they don't care at all

  about humans right they're too busy

  doing their own dog affairs you know

  they're up to whatever they are up to

  yeah and in in the years that I have

  lived in London and the years that my

  wife and I have walked through the local

  park we can count on one hand the number

  of times a dog has come up to us to say

  hello and almost always it has been a

  little puppy dog right yeah but now that

  we are walking a little puppy dog all

  the dogs come up to us right so it's

  like I am getting to meet all of the

  neighborhood dogs and it feels like I

  have this subjective feeling like there

  are 10 times as many dogs in the city as

  there ever have been of course the

  number hasn't changed but I'm just

  supremely aware of all of them and it's

  like everywhere I go I'm walking little

  mr. chompers and like oh and we're

  meeting all of these other dogs it's

  like oh hello how are you right and you

  like find out the dog's name and doing

  little chit chats with them so it's like

  I live in a completely different city

  when I go out walking with mr. chompers

  it is a city that is filled with dogs

  who want to interact in a way that they

  just never did before so it's it's like

  a whole new world for me I bet you're

  like made to where you just the humans

  are almost don't exist - I always have

  conversations with my wife and she'll be

  like ah did you see you know Jenny at

  the park and I'm like Jenny who who the

  heck's Jenny and sugar you know the one

  with the white dog with the fluffy

  oh yeah I know that dog yeah yeah I had

  no idea who the person is it's all like

  dogs with like just a human attach that

  you're vaguely aware of it's like the

  human is just the metadata for the dog

  like that y'all can interrogate what's

  the dog's name

  how old is everything and like okay

  you've given me the information I need

  let's get back to the dogs 100% and what

  I absolutely love is that it seems like

  everybody has this agreed-upon social

  convention so you're exchanging dog

  names but no joke in the last week I

  probably met a hundred dogs right how

  many of those humans have told me their

  name zero right how many of those demons

  do I want to know their name zero right

  how many of those humans have I told my

  name to zero how many of those humans

  have we had a little conversation about

  Oh what do you do for work right none of

  them it is the best human interaction

  that there can possibly be yeah and

  talking about the dogs

  I find myself genuinely interested in

  every one of these conversations where

  we're talking about like their dogs

  funny little habits with whatever this

  thing is they're like we're meeting some

  dogs what what's his favorite toy how

  does he do things how long has he been

  in the park who are his doggy friends

  right yeah like mr. chompers got invited

  to a doggy Christmas party as like oh

  this is fantastic right like everything

  is great here so I'm absolutely 100%

  enjoying this alternate universe London

  where I get to meet dogs and I also feel

  really bad because I'm terrible at

  remembering human names but now I feel

  like I walked through the park I know

  all the dog's names right like I

  recognize every single one of them like

  Otto who that dog is right ever met that

  dog a few times before it's just such a

  funny different experience that has

  completely changed a local environment

  for us we have an extra weird scenario

  where we have a dog walker who sometimes

  walks Audrey and Lulu when mm-hmm we're

  away or were too busy and things like

  that and that person walks lots of dogs

  and goes to lots of other different

  places around where we live so Audrey

  and Lulu know all these other dogs that

  we don't know and meet all these other

  people that we don't know and sometimes

  we'll be out walking and we'll come

  across someone and a dog who we've never

  met before and we'll go to introduce

  ourselves but they will already know

  everything the dogs will be wagging

  their tails and the owners will say oh

  yeah we know Audrey and Lulu like you

  know we've met the

  loads of times and my wife oh okay well

  at the pariahs that no one knows but our

  dogs are like famous I am in that

  position though right because mr.

  chompers is not my dog and twice now

  I've had someone else recognize they go

  oh that's mr. chompers right hey and so

  the like these dogs have already met at

  some point right and I haven't been

  around and it's a very funny situation

  I'm not quite sure how to describe my

  relationship to mr. chompers it's like

  we are some neighbors who talked our way

  into looking after this adorable puppy I

  haven't quite figured out like what is

  the condensed way to describe this

  situation you're an unpaid professional

  don't care

  that's essentially what it is right yeah

  it is funny sometimes to run into the

  professional dog walkers who will have

  it have a pack of like ten dogs and

  sometimes some of them will know mr.

  chompers and they'll be a little a

  little stop and a little talk and it

  does through the course of the

  conversation I can see the other person

  realizes like okay so you're just

  walking somebody else's dog for free or

  you scab exactly like you're

  undercutting the market here you jerk

  like what are you doing let me get that

  straight this is not your dog you're

  just walking him for free yep that's

  what I'm doing okay I have a question

  for you there braiding and I'm curious

  the answer this question because I have

  a feeling like maybe this is the thing

  I'm going to run into more in London

  when you talk about the human as

  dispensing the metadata that is related

  to the dog hmm how often does the human

  tell you the dog's Instagram account I'm

  about to be shamed here I can feel it

  because I have been known to mention

  Audrey's Instagram account right right

  no how do you does have an Instagram

  account I'm not trying to shame you I'm

  just I guess because your dog does have

  an Instagram account how many times has

  somebody ever mentioned to you first

  it's never come the other way no one's

  ever told me that but I'm not in London

  which is a bit more Posey you know I'm

  in a less Posey place so it's a lot less

  likely that a dog will have an Instagram

  account where I live than where you live

  so I'm the flash get

  we can't and a Facebook page but it's

  never come the other way for me and to

  be fair you are like an Internet person

  right who makes a living at this so yeah

  for you the the additional marginal

  effort to be running an Instagram

  account for your dog is not as high as

  it would be for somebody else who isn't

  making a living on the internet all day

  long doing this stuff anyway thank you I

  legitimately do give you a total pass on

  this adorable Audrey by the way terrible

  anniversary don't check it out how many

  followers does she have an Instagram on

  Instagram that's a good question my wife

  actually runs the Instagram account

  noticing which annoys our no end because

  people always leave comments saying nice

  one brady i run the facebook page okay

  that's the division of labor here

  she has 5,000 followers okay so she's

  not mega apparently it's it's 10,000

  before people will even consider doing

  brand deals with you so she's a long way

  from even getting brand deals on

  instagram she's not an influencer

  because i I was recently with some

  Instagram influencers and they told me

  10,000 is when you can start to be

  considered an influencer on Instagram

  let's put a pin in that and come back to

  that because I want to return to this

  idea of Instagram influencers but in the

  meantime this is a thing that did catch

  me completely off-guard because it

  doesn't happen a ton but it happens

  enough I feel like I'm getting a sense

  in advance when I'm meeting a dog that

  I'm going to be told an Instagram

  account yeah I feel like there's a type

  of person who has a dog Instagram

  account thanks and you are far outside

  of that realm but it does catch me off

  guard because I'll meet a dog and the

  owner will say something like oh yes hi

  this is princess Anastasia

  she has 9,000 followers on Instagram

  like it's like item number two like like

  they're canvassing for the dog in the

  park I never really expected this like

  in retrospect I guess it makes sense but

  I find it funny that there is a a

  significant enough like social media

  presence for dogs

  in the local park in London for some

  reason I cannot quite get over that and

  I'm not sure how to react to it

  but without a doubt I think it is very

  much biased towards fancier looking dogs

  dogs that look fancy and fluffy they are

  way more likely to have Instagram

  accounts I have yet to meet a Rottweiler

  with an Instagram account but I have met

  a significant number of fluffy or

  beautiful purebred dogs with Instagram

  accounts well that's to be expected

  isn't no idea I mean maybe they're just

  the ones that are successful on

  Instagram so that's why their owners are

  out there plugging their dogs does mr.

  chompers have an Instagram I don't know

  if he has a real life Instagram I don't

  think he does right I haven't asked it

  could be a whole other aspect to mr.

  Trump is life you don't know about well

  I mean but there are many aspects to mr.

  chompers life that I don't know about

  mr. chompers life I wonder from his

  perspective what is it like because he

  spends I'm on holiday and I was thinking

  what are orginially doing right now what

  do I think of their holiday home how do

  they see things how do they think I

  always wonder how dogs think I would pay

  a considerable amount of money just to

  be able to read my dog's minds I just

  want to know what they think drives me

  crazy that I'll never know and I know

  they're animals and I know animals are

  animals and they don't think like us but

  I just wish I knew more about their


  okay people say that thing right oh it's

  an animal's an animal and like don't

  anthropomorphize the animals and it's

  like I get where you're coming from

  but I really do think that dogs are an

  exception to this like there is no

  species that has co-evolved with humans

  over a longer period of time that has

  also Co evolved in a way that is

  beneficial to the survival of both of

  the species like I think if any creature

  is able to think like humans like dogs

  have to be at the top of that list aside

  from the things that are they basically

  like genetically us hmm so I'm perfectly

  fine with anthropomorphizing the dog and

  thinking that the dog has things in its

  head that we could recognize as feelings

  or emotional states I hope

  true like a thing that has happened with

  mr. chompers is that he's gotten it stop

  laughing baby I don't know what you mean

  I'm that guy I'm like you

  we're having a podcast here we need to

  talk about things and I want to talk

  about mr. chompers I'm really

  comfortable in that seat because I kept

  talking about mr. chomp reserved all day

  long I I feels like you already have

  that hurts Brady that hurts real deep

  mr. chompers Audrey playdate we do we do

  have to organize that if you actually

  have people taking planes to visit me

  and they're making sure that they're

  scheduling it on mr. chompers days

  because people wanted mr. chopper

  they're like oh it's great to come and

  see you but I want to make sure I'm

  there on a choppers day I don't want to

  come on an on chompers day that's no

  good you're clearly a more sociable

  creature when mr. chompers is involved

  we've established that already you're

  far more chatty and personable again

  it's the positive mood buffs from dog

  that's what's having I think it's for

  love yeah it's the love who doesn't know

  everybody loves doggies except monitors

  we've established before monitors don't

  love dogs I think even monsters love

  dogs a little bit Hitler had a dog I'm

  sure he loved that dog you know hey Dad

  what was a cone was called was it called

  Susie his dog it had some funny name I

  think it was blondie blondie that's it I

  feel like this is like a pub trivia

  question I think it was boy yeah I don't

  know okay in my head I'm just assuming

  it was the German Shepherd I have no

  idea you know it might have been like a

  yorkie poo I don't know if I was existed

  at the time but I think he'll there

  probably had a meaner looking dog blondi

  HESA has their own Wikipedia page oh is

  it blondie was I right about that you

  were right but just blondie with an eye

  on the end does it like it was a German

  Shepherd it was a German Shepherd

  blondie with an eye oh god that's

  embarrassing as a puppy Hitler was

  reportedly very fond of blondie keeping

  her by his side and allowing her to

  sleep in his bed in the bunker I say I

  don't agree with that

  I don't agree with that behavior he

  shouldn't let the dog in your bed yeah

  oh that's the other thing like that I

  wanted to mention here which I find

  myself doing this thing which is

  becoming very judgmental of the way

  other people interact with the dogs

  right yeah it's like 100% this parental

  kind of thing of like oh I don't think

  you've you've raised your dog very well

  or like oh you think you're a dog person

  but you're not really a dog person

  you don't know how I can just I can see

  what you and your wife are like you're

  these people who think they're like the

  authority on like dog rearing and like

  it's your way or the highway

  now I don't agree with that at all like

  that like there are many different ways

  to do it but I just think there's like

  I'll give an example it's just that all

  the other wise are wrong I'm gonna back

  this up right I'm gonna bring up the

  thing which is like the slightly

  controversial thing which is against

  Cesar Millan this is the Tavey dog

  training guy for people who yeah yes I

  he's a TV dog training guy yeah now when

  you say like it's our way or it's

  nothing like I think I really disagree

  with that because mm-hmm

  like what we haven't done with mr.

  chompers hardly at all as things like

  tricks right teaching him to sit

  teaching him to lay down doing that kind

  of stuff right that's a very particular

  kind of training that he's still a

  little young for anyway and like there

  are a bunch of different ways that you

  can try to do that they're all based off

  a positive reinforcement but like there

  are very many ways that you can do stuff

  when I'm talking about like a judgmental

  thing what I mean is and what I think is

  like the Cesar Millan kind of

  controversy is this idea about like what

  is your emotional state when you're

  interacting with a dog I think that's

  the thing that he tries to convey with

  his methods of dogs like he's never

  really talking about how to get your dog

  to roll over right or how to do specific

  behaviors he's talking about like this

  meta thing about how do you interact

  with the dog and I think there's just a

  really really key skill that some people

  have and some people don't I'll give you

  an example like what am i judgemental

  loud mr. chompers was out in the park

  and this little kid came up to mr.

  chompers this adorable tiny tot she came

  up to mr. chompers and she wanted to

  interact with him and we said okay right

  we're socializing him

  mm-hm and she was great because she

  looked at us she looked at us the owners

  from her perspective of the dog and said

  is he a biting dog right like yeah she's

  like oh kid I love you already right you

  have the concepts that some little dogs

  are gonna be biting dogs right like yeah

  you're so far ahead and so I'm looking

  at this kid in like okay great I like

  you already kid and said oh yeah so go

  ahead you can interact with mr. chompers

  and I was also looking at her because

  she was covered head-to-toe in an

  adorable kid puffy snow outfit that

  obstructed her movement like she had

  immunity to accidental piercing damage

  like there is no way that even if mr.

  chompers were to bite that he would do

  any damage to this kid and he's gotten a

  million times better about this so he

  doesn't bite very much at all and so

  like mr. chompers in this little kid

  they had a nice little interaction right

  she was squealing with joy and playing

  around like oh great this is perfect

  yeah and then we walk on not five

  minutes later we run into a guy who's

  like oh can i interact with mr. chompers

  and he does the thing which some people

  who own dogs do the thing where when

  they interact with the dog

  they're like riling the dog up there's

  like a play style where you're making

  the dog more excited which then brings

  out bad behaviors in the dog alright and

  so this guy was wearing gloves and he

  immediately starts like kind of

  roughhousing with mr. chompers head and

  so I can see like mr. chompers is

  getting excited and then mr. chompers

  grabs on to the glove and the guy starts

  playing like a fun tug-of-war game now

  with mr. chompers and it's like her and

  then he starts growling it's like oh no

  dude like that's the thing that I mean

  that I'm judgmental about is like this

  very clear thing about bringing the

  energy up or bringing the energy down

  and it's like hey buddy we met like a

  two and a half year old kid who was a

  million times better with dogs than you

  two seconds ago like you just don't know

  how to do it and then sure enough he's

  talking about like he owns a dog and his

  dog is a total terror and all the

  begging I was like of course your dog's

  a total terror like if you're

  interacting with this dog this way like

  you must be doing this with your dog at

  home so like you're the fault here not

  the dog I'm basically making like a

  parental complaint about people who

  don't know how to handle dogs but like

  that's a very very separate thing from

  how do you have a show when

  dog who can do a bunch of great tricks

  like on command like that's not the

  skill that I'm talking about I'm just

  talking about a more general skill that

  I think is super important but that I

  can see a bunch of people who have dogs

  they just don't think about like they

  amp up dogs when they don't mean to

  anyway this is me being a big mr.

  chompers parents do you know how blondie

  died I have no idea how blondie died

  they tested a cyanide capsule that

  Hitler thought might not work properly

  on the dog so they gave a cyanide

  capsule to the dog and killed it of

  poisoning and then apparently Hitler

  became inconsolable after he ordered the

  dog be given the cyanide pill well I

  don't think Hitler was in a in a proper

  state of mind I didn't think you would

  have approved of Hitler's don't rearing

  skills they're giving sign-out pills to

  the dog no two thumbs down two thumbs

  down to Hitler dog raising skill that's

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  given and don't try and do anything


  to win one I don't want like someone you

  know standing on top of the Burj Khalifa

  on one leg doing a base jump with a

  Hello Internet flag and they attempt to

  win one and we're not going to reward

  stupidity or rash activities

  he's an organic thing I feel like it's a

  bit of a mixed message though to have

  them exist

  I agree great it is a mixed message but

  one thing I've found over the course of

  watching Tim egde unfold right is that

  wonderful things happen every week that

  warms our hearts mm-hmm but I also think

  sometimes people like don't have like a

  filter hmm

  like they don't step outside themselves

  and think should I even be doing this

  like is this like a bad thing or a

  creepy thing or inappropriate I think

  people sometimes get a bit lost in the

  moment and don't step outside themselves

  and think about what they're doing and I

  don't move the existence of medals to

  exacerbate this problem it's interesting

  though because it hadn't really crossed

  my mind until this moment but I mean

  this there's nothing just with our show

  but it's it's a thing that happens

  anytime a group starts to form some

  identity mm-hmm is a question like what

  are the actions that are acceptable

  within that identity and yeah you're

  right I think there are people who can

  sometimes think they're doing something

  that's interesting and it's like oh no

  that's a terrible idea man but I don't

  think there's any effective way really

  to express that ahead of time yeah I

  guess yeah yeah other than to say

  something that is pointless and that is

  sometimes stop think about what you're

  doing right and think about what this

  would look like to other people yeah oh

  isn't that kind of stuff the problem is

  the people who would stop and think

  about what does this look like from the

  outside are not the people who would do

  those things right yeah it's like a

  dunning-kruger effect for actions in

  this way like of course the people who

  do things that are unacceptable or not

  the people who wonder if an activity is

  acceptable yeah but I guess so what

  you're saying here really is there is

  not going to be an escalating hierarchy

  of spectacle that these medals would be

  awarded for it's more yeah more like

  whimsy and good feeling yeah we're going

  for here then not something that should

  be sought and there's not like a bar

  that you must exceed to

  one right in fact doing too much will

  probably exclude you from ever receiving

  one cuz it will make me like you'll just

  freak me out a bit that is a big hard to

  express is the like well do too much it

  becomes really uncomfortable like nope

  nope I can't reward this action

  nah anyway I'm very glad that they're in

  existence and yeah we'll be updating the

  audience as time goes on yeah I have a

  quick link for you Brady mm-hmm which is

  going under the heading in my mind of

  the expansion of no fun zones the head

  light on this baby c-- news article

  you've sent me says Darby cordoned off

  Christmas tree and embarrassment this

  excites me a bit because this is from

  the area of England that I used to cover

  when I worked at the BBC so I could have

  been the person writing this article

  back in the day oh yeah it could have

  been your byline on this article well

  there is no byline or not but yeah I

  could have hoped that maybe a machine

  wrote it I just want to put this in in

  the show notes because someone passes

  along to me and it's picture of this

  Christmas tree that is like the saddest

  looking Christmas tree in the world not

  because that Christmas tree isn't

  magnificent but because as the headline

  says it's cordoned off by two concentric

  rings of gates to keep people away from

  the Christmas tree out of concerns about

  safety in case of foes on someone else

  yeah in case it falls at someone right

  and the official statement from the

  council is that the barriers are there

  to enable people to view the tree at a

  safe distance the tray looks like it's

  in prison who what the meeting was like

  we're gonna have some Christmas cheer

  okay but we're gonna we need to have

  some barriers around the tree for

  imagined safety and then on top of that

  our statement is going to be about how

  the barriers enable people to view the

  tree at a safe distance like without the

  barriers people being able to view the

  tree at a safe distance wouldn't it be

  possible that the barriers are simply

  enabling this thing to occur it's just

  awful and it just made me sad and I

  think it's an example of a no-fun zone

  elsewhere in the world it's like

  take a place and make sure like Oh

  Christmas fun in the town center no

  there's no fun that's going to happen

  here you're gonna view a tree at an

  appropriate distance and you're gonna

  like it

  it's pretty terrible it looks pretty

  terrible it's not a good look

  yeah it's very sad so no fun zones

  spreading across the world it's funny

  cuz I think of you sometimes as a person

  who would like like safety you know

  you're like a cautious guy I know what

  you're saying and it's like there was a

  science fiction series called Ringworld

  and had an alien species called the I

  think was Pearson's puppeteers but the

  recurring thing about these aliens which

  I just loved was the whole species

  evolved from herd animals from prey

  animals and so they were obsessed with

  safety and the interiors of all their

  spaceships had no sharp corners right

  like basically in case they were falling

  like they wanted to make sure they fell

  on a safe rounded corner and it's like I

  had a lot of sympathy for those aliens

  like yeah you know why not be safe the

  thing that bothers me is what I view

  this as is like a kind of fake safety

  I'm all in favor of more safety right

  the sooner we can get humans off the

  road that's great the sooner we can stop

  people throwing coins into airplanes

  that's even better

  I'm all for real safety but this kind of

  like keep people away from a Christmas

  tree safety is a thing that drives me


  that's like security theater at the

  airport it's no real benefit and I think

  it causes real harm and it causes real

  harm in the name of a thing that I do

  want more of so I think that's why I

  like it this stuff hits me particularly

  hard and in a very frustrating way it's

  giving safety a bad name it is Brady it

  is giving safety a bad name that's

  exactly right

  having just dissed the Tim's a minute

  ago can I now take a moment to thank

  them immensely for taking up the call to

  arms from the last episode and

  subscribing to my periodic videos

  YouTube channel so that we could reach a

  million subscribers before Sir Martin's

  birthday congratulations on that well

  congratulations to the Tim's who helped

  push us over the top

  really appreciate it and we did get

  there before the professor's birthday so

  that was that made him really happy I

  just wanted to also point out

  you may have seen if you follow like you

  know twittery stuff and all that I

  posted a picture of the professor

  holding a piece of paper saying you know

  periodic table of videos 1 million

  thanks Timms and he's like you know he

  printed it out and he's holding it up in

  one of those weird pictures that people

  post where they like you know hold a

  message to prove that the message is

  from them right yeah

  can I just say I had absolutely nothing

  to do with this I didn't know he was

  doing it I didn't ask him to do it he

  just emailed me and said I look I made

  this picture so you know that was truly

  from his heart mm-hmm but the

  interesting thing to me was how did he

  know like he saw the spike in

  subscribers and I said oh I mentioned it

  on the podcast and he was like oh that's

  great thank you but how did he know what

  Tim's were so I spoke to him on the

  phone today and he told me that he

  received a birthday card from someone I

  can't remember the person's name and

  they said dear professor Pepe birthday

  from whatever the person's name was and

  then they put in brackets I'm a Tim and

  then they wrote a few sentences

  underneath explaining what a Tim was on

  his birthday cut you know but listen to

  you know Tim's of what we call people

  who listen to the podcast and things

  like that that's a very thorough Tim

  message it was and that's how the

  professor knew what Tim was and what

  gave him the idea to make me slinky


  Martin then asked me why are they called

  Tim's I find that one of the more

  difficult questions to answer about my

  work why people who's like I know the

  answer but it's just really hard to

  explain in a pithy way that makes sense

  there's no pithy way about it yeah I

  think it's one of my favorite examples

  of an Internet community selecting in

  its own name like this is a thing that

  very much happened on its own and a

  little bit of pulling back the curtain

  here was when this first started I was

  not a fan of the audience having a

  particular name I put on record before

  like I don't really necessarily like the

  ideas of Internet communities and and

  the names like this is a thing that I

  once tried to do in my youtube channel

  and then immediately regret it and never

  referenced again and so there's a period

  of time and the

  show where I was really trying to talk

  around the concept of Tim's or not

  encouraged this at all hmm but it became

  so clear that this is a thing that the

  community was just embracing and loving

  it eventually completely changed my mind

  on it because like this is so clearly

  something that everybody loves and it's

  fun like I'm just I'm changing my mind

  on this and I'm going along with it but

  it's like it is really a thing that took

  off on its own especially at the

  beginning zero encouragement on my part

  the community did pick this for

  themselves I agree

  Bassam congratulations to periodic

  videos for reaching 1 million what are

  you gonna do with yet another golden

  play button that's a good question

  where is it going I mean my thinking was

  I was always going to give it to the

  chemistry department at the University

  of Nottingham but I can't like the idea

  of having one cuz I haven't got my

  number fire one you don't have any of

  the gold ones in your house this is only

  my second go I've got a boatload of

  silver I don't have a boatload of

  Silver's but in my head I still feel

  like you have if not a boatload a bucket

  load of gold play buttons this is I need

  a second computer file should get one

  same okay so yeah you're you quickly are

  approaching a bucket load of gold play

  buttons and I wouldn't say that but

  anyway I don't know I'll see what

  happens I'll see what happens

  did I tell you about my trade sixty

  symbols one like a medal from the

  Institute of Physics and it was a really

  cool medal and like we want it as a

  group and after the midnight when we got

  given the medal it was just taken home

  by someone at the University and I don't

  know I just

  I'd never won anything for physics and I

  really liked the medal and I quite liked

  the idea of having it in my office

  mm-hmm but you know I didn't have any

  more right to say I should have in my

  office than they did but what I did have

  was the sixty symbols silver button

  mm-hmm so I was able to go into the

  University a few weeks later with the

  silver button and like try and come up

  with a trade and it was really like

  those complicated baseball trades where

  you trade two players and an amount of

  money and all this sort of stuff like we

  were coming up with the trade like you

  can have the silver button and I'll have

  the medal but you can have the

  certificate that came with the medal if

  we were coming up with this whole

  elaborate deal over who got what just

  one of this metal right you're trying to

  Moneyball your way to the getting this

  metal in your in your office that's

  what's happening but it was a rude like

  it was a real negotiation and the

  professor I was negotiating with said oh

  I don't think I can make this decision

  on my own and called in like another

  professor and like there was like this

  big conversation it was quite fun

  actually did did you get it in the end

  this is in your office right now I did

  get the middle like like it's still

  joint custody like everything is but I'm

  the one who gets to look at it and I

  don't look at it quite like it it's a

  nice medal it's that Kelvin medal

  I'll right right of course yeah that's

  right that's right all the medals in

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  podcast so you're back from Australia

  Brady just a couple days ago right you I

  am just recently back yes I won't win

  over for various reasons to do with work

  and to do with family and friends mm-hmm

  but the main reason and the main thing I

  was going over for the main impetus was

  because I wanted to watch the Ashes Test

  match between Australia and England at

  the Adelaide Oval which I was very

  excited about question I'm going to do

  this right from the start only one

  question yeah I know the ashes the ashes

  of the burnt up wicked yeah that the two

  countries trade back and forth that the

  yep whoever wins they hold on to the

  ashes there's a small little urn with

  the ashes of a piece of cricket

  equipment from back in the day yes

  that's correct

  right when you say Test match though

  that makes it sound like it's not the

  actual matches for the ashes it's a

  preparation for the ashes no that's not

  what it means

  okay what is like the Test match just

  through me that sounds like it's a test

  yeah in my head reads it like the

  semi-finals for the ashes like I'm just

  a bit confused by what that word by but

  I think test in this context you should

  think of as a test of your skill okay a

  test of how good you are there are

  different forms of cricket that can be

  played that have different durations and

  have slightly different roles but the

  pinnacle of the game the ultimate form

  of cricket is considered this five day

  game which is called a test match okay

  and a contest for the ashes they play

  five consecutive Test matches in two

  in cities and whoever wins the most of

  those test matches will be the winner

  so as we speak now which will be out of

  date by the time this is published the

  first two test matches were won by

  Australia as Australia is leading the

  series to nil if they win the third one

  does it just stop because they get three

  out of five no they will have won the

  series but they will continue playing

  the other two Test matches Test matches

  are so important and significant that

  the fact that they're kind of dead

  rubbers doesn't mean you wouldn't play

  them there's still a lot of kudos and a

  lot of interest it's not like baseball

  like at the World Series where they'll

  just not play the other games a Test

  match is a big deal but what can

  possibly be the big deal in a game when

  we already know who's going to get the

  ashes I don't understand like what

  happens winning a Test match is still a

  very prestigious thing and it's also

  very important to the players it is less

  interesting I'll give you that there is

  less stake there are literally no ashes

  at stake the ashes will no longer be at

  stake if series has already been decided

  this is true but there is a big

  difference between like you know winning

  a series five kneel or three to like a

  five kneel whitewash is very rare and

  something that people have a lot of

  interest in players still have to

  aggregate their stats their batting

  averages or whatever this is also a very

  important thing in cricket and if you

  watch the second most recent numberphile

  video that I made over in Australia it

  is all about a really interesting story

  to do with cricket averages and

  statistics in fact I would like you to

  watch that video it was the first

  cricket video I have ever made and it's

  supposed to I hope be kind of

  understandable in some way to a non

  cricket fan so they can come away from

  it and think okay I get why that's a big

  duty even though I don't understand your

  silly sport you want me to be your test

  subject for the person who knows nothing

  about cricket oh I mean it's too late

  for that I've won you released it but I

  would like you to watch it I'd be

  curious to hear what you think of it but

  I feel like I know a lot about cricket I

  know about the ashes yeah I know about

  the running back and forth no nothing I

  know what it looks like on TV oh god

  I've got nothing I can't even fake it so


  another thing I would dearly love to

  talk about with you but I can't because

  you just have so little knowledge and

  little interest is the new Adelaide Oval

  it's a such a big deal in Adelaide

  because Adelaide was famous for having

  this really old-fashioned cricket ground

  because this is like a new stadium is

  that what you're talking about

  basically they've replaced this

  old-fashioned quaint ground that was

  famous the world over for its beauty and

  looking like us from another time right

  with this new super space-age modern

  stadium right forgettable it sounds like

  well it's been very good for Adelaide

  and Adelaide people love it and they

  love talking about it and all they want

  to talk about is how much do you love

  Adelaide Oval so and they kept asking me

  Oh Brady this is your first time at

  Adelaide over what do you think of it

  isn't it magnificent and you can imagine

  me being you know a bit of a

  traditionalist I quite like the old one

  and I'm sad it's gone cuz I don't

  benefit week on week from having this

  great stadium I just feel sad about the

  lovely old one that's gone whereas the

  people who live in Adelaide really

  benefit from having such a magnificent

  Stadium so they liked it it was a big

  talking point throughout my whole

  holiday did the old one look good on TV

  that could you tell it was the Adelaide

  Oval yes the old one was really

  distinctive and it was like a place

  people dreamed of going to watch cricket

  one day like every cricket fan in the

  world would say I would love to go to

  the Adelaide over one day and watch a

  game of cricket and now it is like lots

  of other really good modern stadiums

  yeah it just looks like a modern stadium

  like it don't look like anything in

  particular you can't say that to

  Adelaide people that they will have a

  series of comebacks to that ok I'm

  talking to you and leave people yeah

  right now your oval looks like a totally

  forgettable Stadium there you go yeah

  enjoy that I'm gonna hit lots of things

  about scoreboards and churches now but

  anyway oh boy I can't wait can't wait to

  set up a new mute filter on Twitter if

  you google old Adelaide Oval if you look

  carefully you might notice a certain

  building in the background as well oh

  yes yeah that's like I can see a certain

  building in the background of that photo

  we'll come to that in a minute though

  okay I didn't imagine that you took a

  trip to Australia and we're not going to

  hear about a certain building but we'll

  get to that in a second in that 2006

  picture you just sent me that white part

  on the right is new and the part on the

  left is that all

  yeah okay I asked about it looking does

  it look distinctive on TV because I

  think that's the trade-off here right is

  yeah a thing that looks distinctive on

  television is actually like a real

  advantage to any place and like this one

  those things it's hard to pin down what

  exactly is the value of that but having

  something that is iconic is valuable to

  all of the people who don't live in the

  place yeah but the problem is what

  they've created now even I have to

  concede is such a great amenity for the

  people of Adelaide it's right next to

  the city centre it now holds you know

  three times more people it's really

  modern and easy to use because it's so

  big they can now play Australian

  football in the stadium which they

  couldn't before

  which Adelaide people love so now you

  can play Australian football right near

  the city centre instead of out in a

  distant location so it's brilliant for

  the people of Adelaide it was the right

  decision good on you for having such a

  good useful Stadium they've preserved

  some aspects of what was special about

  that oval before not as many as I'd like

  people think mm-hmm they no longer have

  that thing that you'll see on TV though

  and your heart will ache and you'll say

  I need to go to that place one day it's

  no longer really distinctive and I'm sad

  to lose that but hey I'm just some guy

  who lives in England who maybe goes

  there once every few years I'm more on

  your side than you might expect with

  this because they think that this is a

  kind of shaming of the world it's like

  oh yeah of course like the new one is

  much better it's better because it's

  removed a bunch of distinct features and

  it's gone for the features that are the

  things that would in any city make a

  stadium better and those number of

  things are not infinite in all

  directions there's a subset of things

  that it's always going to make sense

  like oh here's what you would want for a

  perfect stadium in a city that all of

  the locals would agree is a perfect

  stadium and that goes for just about

  anything but I do think there is some

  intangible loss by not having something

  that is iconic for a particular location

  but it doesn't change the fact that were

  I to live in Adelaide and were I to love

  cricket I too would almost certainly be

  wanting a much better Stadium

  me to actually go to every time I want

  to trick it anyway I did meet a few

  Tim's at the Adelaide Oval two of whom

  were wearing hello Internet hoodies this

  was quite nice so the new hello Internet

  hoodies are making their way out into

  the world they are they are they've made

  it all the way to Adelaide met a few

  people at the game which was nice did a

  few selfies got me a lot of street

  credibility with my friends I was at the

  cricket with when people were coming up

  and having a photo taken oh wow we

  didn't realize it was such a big deal

  that's fantastic I didn't think about

  that but you feel like you're going back

  home and your big man on campus you're

  like oh yeah everybody loves me I was

  always with a big group of like 10 guys

  and I didn't know many of them and I was

  just some dude so we were just sitting

  watching the cricket and stuff so then

  when people came up and said hello and

  we're having pictures with Ray suddenly

  like looked at me in a new way they were

  like what do you do man actually do

  that's when it gets complicated and

  what's a Tim oh here we go again

  do you run through the whole story in

  that scenario I'm endlessly fascinated

  by this do you

  I don't now I just brush it off as

  quickly as possible so another

  interesting thing that happened around

  the cricket though was there's a lot a

  lot of English people go because English

  cricket fans are big travellers so

  wherever England are playing cricket you

  will find lots of English fans so I was

  out and about in town a few times and at

  restaurants and cafes and things like

  that when the cricket wasn't on mm-hmm

  and a few times I was talking to people

  and they would say you know what's going

  on and that and I'd say ah I've come for

  the cricket I'm enjoying the cricket and

  because like England were not doing well

  at certain stages they would say to me

  oh don't worry I think things will get

  better for you guys maybe later

  and I realized everyone I spoke to

  thought I was English and all my friends

  were saying yeah you sound really

  English now I'm not I'm not here for

  Australia they're like ah we all thought

  you were in England fan who sound really

  English well I mean before I say

  anything how do you feel about that

  Brady because I think this is a

  complicated question for you I just

  don't think I sound English I'm not like

  upset by it if it happens it happens or

  if it's happened it's happened mm-hmm

  and it doesn't change my heart if you

  cut me I still bleed green and gold

  Australia right but

  it does surprise me because over here

  people will say ah I thought you might

  be from Australia when they talk to me

  so over here I stay on strands I'm

  obviously just in some middle ground

  obviously and you know some hybrid is

  your edge well trained enough to talk to

  me and think I sound like an Englishman

  or an Aussie I'll put it this way you

  have a very Brady accent you sound to me

  like a Brady you don't need to tread

  carefully here there's no no it's not

  that I'm trying to tread carefully it's

  just I think it's an interesting thing

  because one thing that I notice is if

  I'm talking to people who listen to the

  show like let's say that they're not

  careful listeners hmm overwhelmingly

  people think that you are British okay I

  would say almost exclusively if they

  don't know particular facts about you

  they just assume that you are British

  and I think that your accents the

  Australian assent has been greatly

  softened by your time over here I'm not

  surprised that what happens is when you

  go back to Australia people think that

  you are English like when I used to

  teach English kids all day I had this

  this same effect when I went to America

  and I went to places where people didn't

  know me there is no way an English

  person would confuse me for being an

  English person but an American person

  was just hearing something that's

  different and so then assuming

  foreignness and I think that's what's

  happening to you it's it's not like you

  sound like the Queen but they're hearing

  something that's different so they're

  assuming that you're not Australian and

  then the closest thing that you map onto

  is sounding English I think that would

  happen yeah I mean I have no doubt

  certain little things have changed but I

  would have thought not enough that an

  Australian would say oh look here's an

  English guy but I I hear what you're

  saying it makes sense when you describe

  it that way there's a slight little

  things that are throwing them and

  therefore they just saying must be a pom

  that must just be some English accent

  I've ever heard before you know this is

  the North East of England

  I just think humans are extraordinarily

  sensitive to in-group markers and so I

  think that's what's happening like you

  just say some things a little bit

  and that it immediately marks you as

  like out-group member so where is the

  place that this person is from I think

  that's all that's happening there okay

  so one of the things I did while I was

  over there was I took one of my bags of

  hello internet hot Stoppers and I found

  my way to that mighty building the

  Greenville Center the mighty black stump

  and I walked in and in like the lobby

  atrium there's a cafe which is recently

  under new management I learned and the

  new manager has changed the name of the

  cafe to black stump espresso which I

  think also is is vindication for anyone

  who says no one ever calls that building

  the black stump because sometimes I hear

  that like people say oh I spoke to my

  friend from Adelaide they've never heard

  of the black stump or it's not called

  the black stump so vindication I say you

  know what's gonna happen Brady though is

  that people are going to start saying I

  think you're just confusing it with the

  coffee place that's inside that building

  anyway I went up to the owner it was

  just before opening time and I said look

  and know this is gonna sound a bit weird

  but I told him my story and I said would

  he be willing to stock at no charge to

  him hello internet hot Stoppers and be

  the sole stockist of hello internet hot

  stoppers because I first of all I said

  or can I see your coffee cups and a

  plastic lid she put on I check that I

  fit and everything and they did and I

  said here you go do you want to do it

  and he was like all right so I said you

  don't have to leave them out you can

  just have them hidden behind the counter

  but if any socially awkward nerdy person

  ever comes up and says hi do you have

  any hot stoppers

  I love the whole premise of this right

  because it's not I'll leave them out for

  promotional purposes it's people will

  come and ask for the secret thing it's a

  it was brilliant so anyway I was there

  he was that he was on board

  top guy so if you go to the black stump

  espresso cafe at the bottom of the

  Grenville Center the mighty black stump

  in Adelaide and order a coffee and then

  give them a little wink and say can I

  have a hello internet hot stopper they

  should pour

  burnout from a secret drawer behind the

  counter and give you one in your drink

  so anyway while I was there I decided to

  tweet I said I'm at the Marty black

  stamp I've got hot Stoppers hmm if you

  want to come and say hello and get one

  now's your chance I don't even know why

  I did it I didn't think I thought maybe

  one person might turn up but over the

  next one a half-hour or say various

  breathless Tim's came bursting into the

  lobby thinking they'd miss me

  it's and then there's that obvious

  awkwardness where no one really quite

  knows what to say right but I said to

  them if you want I'd already lost my hot

  stop as I'd given them to the guy so I

  said if you actually want a hot stopper

  you've got to go and buy a drink mm-hmm

  but they did and we ended up sitting

  around there was like a nice little

  there's a few sofas and a table and I

  ended up sitting hanging out with a

  bunch of Tim's while we sipped our hot

  drinks all using our own hello internet

  hot stoppers the funny thing was there

  were old Tim's but over half of them

  were named Matt go figure

  there was just a lot of Matt's but

  they're old Tim's as well you're so good

  to the fans brady you're so good to them

  it was good fun it was fun they don't

  like come rushing in from wherever they

  were like you know some of them were

  just next door so they were out to go

  and say hello the other one said like

  you know been on a bus and then run

  through town to get there it was really

  nice this is like you created a little

  hello Internet flash mob is what you did

  I did I think the guy running the cafe

  when I gave him the things thought maybe

  I was like some kind of fantasy store

  something and he was just humoring me so

  when all these people gathered he was

  humoring you right it was one funny

  incident they the next day because I

  tweeted this and you can see pictures

  and I tweeted that you could get these

  hot Stoppers now and so over the next

  day or two people started arriving and

  getting their hot Stoppers and obviously

  what happened was the guy behind the

  counter like as a joke gave a hot

  stopper to someone mm-hmm and sort of

  wink to them and said are you lucky he

  got the last one mm-hmm so that person

  then tweeted saying warning everyone

  they've run out I just got the last one

  and that created like all these people

  now I can't believe they're gone and

  someone went like an arrow to later and

  the guy opened the drawer and gave him

  another one so then he was like

  richting it and saying it was a folks

  alarm everyone they've still got a hot

  stuff was they haven't run out and this

  Tim confronted the guy and said I just

  read on Twitter that you said it was the

  last one but you've got a whole drawer

  full of them and he was like I was just

  joking I don't think he realized the

  power he's reading you don't understand

  the forces you're messing with here

  buddy don't joke about running out of

  hot stuffers say last I heard they still

  have some say don't believe any fake

  news about hot stoppers that you may see

  on the Internet like go yourself and

  find out you can't trust anything you

  read on the Internet and I love that I

  love that I don't think I could convince

  a coffee shop to take hot Stoppers from

  me I don't think I'm that charming I

  thought I don't think I would have the

  social skills to pull that off I think I

  was helped by the fact it's quite a

  small operation like I warmed in the

  Starbucks but the fact it was just a

  couple of guys one of the guys that was

  the owner and they haven't been in

  business very long and I think maybe I

  made it sound like they would get extra

  business as a result of it mmm

  you know he was just like whatever

  it's no no skin off my nose they don't

  have their own hot stoppers so right

  you're providing a service we did

  exchange details I said if you ever run

  out give me a call I was gonna say every

  time you fly to Adelaide you need to

  bring boxes of hot stoppers with you it

  might get a bit that way but anyway part

  of me thinks I should expand this and

  find out who else wants to stock them

  but pardon me likes the idea there's

  just one place in the world you can do

  it and it's the foot of the Marty black

  stamp there's something magical about


  there is something magical about that

  there's also at least for the first time

  there's something magical about you

  having delivered them in person yeah

  like we were discussing previously

  there's these hot Stoppers I just feel

  like they are hot Stoppers of whimsy and

  this is whimsical I mean 100%

  improvement of this like this is really

  great I have started sending them out to

  a few random patrons as well and I'm

  just gonna do that occasionally when it

  pops into my head so if you are up like

  a patreon person and you've supplied the

  address then one day you may just get a

  hot stopper unexpectedly but it's not

  going to be like there's not lots of

  them it's just a it is as gray like to

  say there are hot Stoppers of whimsy and

  that again will also be just a whims

  that again will also be just a whims

  the cool thing that occasionally happens

  one of these days I might have to travel

  to Adelaide and get a coffee there with

  it I tell you what that's tougher I do

  think I do think we need to start a

  campaign for the South Australian

  Tourism Commission to fly you and I out

  for a hello Internet

  South Australian tour oh yeah because

  the Thule clearly I'm not gonna get you

  to fly to Australia unless like you know

  it's a really nice trip so I think the

  South Australian Tourism Commission has

  to pick up the slack here imagine that

  we could do a podcast from the Adelaide

  Oval from the black stamp right I'll

  take you out into the outback take you

  to a cricket match take you to Glenelg

  glitter do all the wine areas up in the

  Adelaide Hills oh I'll show you all the

  places where I went to school this is

  turning really bad that's like on me

  maybe he's mildly interesting but then

  if it turns into like a trip down Brady

  memory lane right everywhere we went

  see that road there I once I once bought

  a hamburger it would be like an in

  person photograph album here's all of

  the pictures of me when I was a kid no

  no it would take a lot of willpower for

  me not to bore you but when you would

  also see some cool stuff right and you

  get to see the black stump in real life

  and it it's pretty impressive right

  well I can't believe I forgot to tell

  you the most important thing oh my god

  what is it what is it so it turns out a

  friend of mine works in the tallest

  building in Adelaide the Westpac

  building and her office floor has a

  magnificent view of the mighty black

  stamp and the rival building the Telstra

  building and this view from the office a

  few hundred meters away pretty much puts

  you at the same level of the two of them

  mm-hmm I'm gonna send you a picture I

  took a photo at the window of the mighty

  black stump and this rival building that

  you know I don't like right so this is

  the best picture I've seen yet of the

  muddy black stump

  and the Telstra Building okay so we're

  looking at the mighty black stump and

  this Telstra house which is technically


  according to the internet by like one

  meter clearly the mighty black stump is

  a bigger building even if you find

  technical reasons for aerial aside

  obviously if you include the area with

  the mighty black stump way bigger there

  is like this plant area on top of both

  which the black stump seems to have a

  bigger one really I think you know you

  know I'm really amazed at you as a

  podcasting co-host I really do I love

  your enthusiasm for very many things

  mm-hmm I think this photograph is not as

  much of a slam-dunk as you think it is I

  can see where the argument comes from

  with that top brow of the Telstra

  building I'm not even talking about like

  the top brow i matter many of this is

  just this is a picture of two buildings

  from like an unclear angle I can't just

  give it to you is like this is amazing

  proof that the mighty black stump is

  bigger like pictures from unknown angles

  are how they pulled off all of the scale

  tricks in the Lord of the Rings I said

  like I don't know where this photograph

  is taken from I can't take this as proof

  that you you seem so certain that it is

  so I'm not saying it's conclusive but I

  think it helps me it certainly looks in

  your favor in the photo I will give you

  that I will grant you that you'll have

  to take my word from it but those two

  buildings are pretty much the same

  distance away from me there now I'm

  wondering I still feel like I want I

  want some Tim to arrange like a laser

  reading from space on these two

  buildings the funny thing is that photo

  is taken from an architect's office like

  I knocked on the door and said do you

  mind if I come in and take a picture at

  your window because I'm really

  interested most two buildings over there

  and they were like yeah okay they had

  all like blueprints that which was

  really cool so they look at these two

  buildings every day and I said I'm

  really interested in the Grenville

  Center I didn't call it the mighty black

  stump because I thought it might confuse

  them right I said I'm really interested

  in the Grenville Center and they said

  which ones there and I'm like what do

  you mean which ones there the black

  building there and they go ah yeah that

  black building we just always call that

  black building over there and they

  didn't even know anything about it

  didn't know it was called the mighty

  black stamp they and I like your

  architects it's appalling it's appalling

  that other people don't know what you

  know absolutely appalling they're

  architects in Adelaide with a window

  that looks out over those buildings

  you'd think they'd know like Adelaide

  buildings if once again evidence

  actually lining up in favor of the

  building not being nearly as historic or

  as impressive as you think it is but

  sure yeah keep going keep going

  I've never denied that my affection for

  the muddy black stump is borne of like

  my era but still what's the tallest

  build you'd think architects would know

  the four or five tallest buildings in

  town I am never one to over assume how

  much people know about anything as long

  as they know how to architect the

  buildings they're architecting I'm happy

  with that

  how good is that picture I took though

  isn't that a magnificent picture it is a

  very magnificent picture Brady I do have

  to say that the mighty black stump looks

  pretty great it looks like a like a

  building black hole on the skyline there

  it is it's really those looks like it's

  painted a vente black in that one

  one day I'll go maybe intentionally on

  my own tweet the South Australian

  tourist Commission if you want to

  organize a hello Internet trip we do a

  live show and everything go imagine that

  mmm maybe we could do a live shot the

  Adelaide Oval there hold 60,000 people

  so it should hold those seven or eight

  teams yeah

  Brady once again underestimate the hello

  Internet audience but I met the six or

  seven that turned up to the Blackstone

  yeah they're the ones who I think we can

  bank on turning up yeah we can bank on

  that what I think you definitely cannot

  Bank on is a live hello Internet being

  remotely interesting to watch especially

  especially I like this in my mind's eye

  the setting is the Adelaide Oval is of

  course packed to the brim yeah and you

  and I are just sitting at a little table

  in the centre with two microphones in

  front of us it would look just like a

  Test match that have the Mexican way of

  going and all sorts they get well into

  it I'd make sure it was a spectacle

  there you go pray you start making

  promises so gray while I was back in

  Australia I caught up with lots of my

  friends mmm lots of them

  have children so it's always a chance

  for me to sort of dip into the world of

  parenting and things like that and find

  out latest trends what it's like to be a

  parent mmm my friends children are

  getting like that little bit older mmm

  and I have to say I mean I probably

  sound really stupid to people who like

  have kids in there but in the last sort

  of three or four years I didn't realize

  how much parenting has changed and how

  much of an issue smartphones and

  technology and connectivity is like it

  is escalated to a point that I didn't

  expect and I'll give you like a cute

  example and then I'll give you like a

  more extreme example that struck with me

  just before you do I just want to say

  like I'm genuinely curious to hear about

  this because I have my little

  conversational go twos but one of mine

  when talking to parents is I find this

  endlessly interesting to ask parents how

  did they manage the digital lives of

  their children yeah like I think that

  this is such an issue in the modern

  world and this is not about screen time

  screen time was a problem when when you

  and I were kids you know too much time

  on the TV or videos or computers or the

  the Atari just is not about screen time

  yeah this is about connectivity my

  parents had to simply worry that I was

  sinking a hundred and forty hours a week

  into Total Annihilation

  right that's like that was that was

  their concern okay you turned that fan

  fantastic exactly exactly so fun example

  first was the issue of Santa Claus the

  much-loved and legendary character who I

  won't go into too much detail about

  because I'm now very aware that my

  nephew listens to hello Internet and

  he's six years old but also like were

  you just about to explain who Santa

  Claus this to the audience like like

  that I think we can assume listeners now

  know but there are certain aspects of

  listeners know about Santa to whatever

  level they know all right well anyway I

  was talking to one of my friends about


  to which his daughter knew about Santa

  Claus right because she was at an age

  where you know I think she would still

  be enjoying Santa Claus to his fullest

  legendary Ness right of course

  and I said oh yeah like you know what

  does she know how you're playing that

  game and he said oh she googled it she

  was having doubts and she just googled

  it so she found out about the working

  conditions for the elves that's a real

  thing all the facts all the santa facts

  that need to be known and like you know

  we found out about it through like you

  know stories in the schoolyard now it's

  just hmm what is the case here three or

  four taps of a keyboard okay there you


  but do you know what I then did I

  googled it yeah I am googling Santa

  Claus Google does Santa Claus exists and

  when you do that it's really hard to

  come to any conclusive answer if I was a

  little kid and I good with that I think

  I would be more confused than I was to

  start with I think you could read the

  Wikipedia article about Santa Claus and

  come away with no definitive answer on

  the existence question at least when I

  google it the number one result for me

  is a link that takes you to an Amazon

  page for a book that is called does

  Santa exists a philosophical

  investigation it's like maybe a little

  bit beyond most of the kids who are

  probably googling does Santa exist and I

  I can see that it's like oh okay

  then some kid orders it on their Kindle

  and starts reading and finds it a very

  confusing subject so at first when my

  friend told me you know she googled it

  I was thinking all that would have just

  ruined it in seconds but now I'm

  thinking I'm impressed she actually

  arrived at any conclusion after doing


  yeah but I'm curious I wanted to see the

  Wikipedia introductory sentence hmm and

  and I like this I like the sentence

  Santa Claus also known as Saint Nicholas

  st. Nick Kris Kringle father Christmas

  or simply Santa is a legendary figure

  originating in Western Christian culture

  who was said to bring gifts to the homes

  of well-behaved or good children on

  Christmas Eve or Christmas Day

  so I like that a legendary figure that's

  good that's good

  anyway let's not get too bogged down

  with the philosophy and the existence of

  Santa Claus because I want to talk about

  the more interesting aspect of this and

  this was another friend of mine whose

  child was a little bit older mm-hmm

  but not that old and I was at the pub

  with him we're having a drink and his

  phone goes off Bing and it's his child

  saying dad I've done my homework I've

  been really good today hmm can I have my

  apps hmm and he was in a good mood and

  he was having a drink with his old pal

  Brady and he said ah what the heck

  texted her back and said because I'm

  here with Brady and because you've been

  a good girl yes and here I open up this

  app on his phone called our pact and

  basically what that is is it gives him

  total control over his child's apps on

  her phone who so he has the whole list

  of all the apps what times she can use

  it so she can use Facebook between 5:15

  and 5:30 like to find fine-grained

  details and when the app is not allowed

  it just doesn't appear on her phone she

  hasn't got it can control everything

  about her phone use he can put time

  limits on things so she can have like

  you know 15 minutes of Instagram a day

  and it's up to her how she decides to

  use and how to ration it he can then

  allow the apps any time he chooses like

  he did when he was with me we can shut

  them down any time he chooses if he

  wants to like if he thinks he needs to

  for disciplinary reasons and it was this

  incredible amount of control which makes

  sense to me you know I'm not it makes

  that there's something about it they're

  striking me is a little bit black mirror

  ish the child's digital world appears

  and dissapears at the press of a button

  on the other he said that he said

  they've just vanished from her screen

  it's very sign of the times isn't it

  well I think it's kind of necessary but

  I was saying oh this is amazing

  but then the other amazing thing was

  like you know his kids are smart

  mm-hmm and they understand technology

  and this is not enough there's like a

  whole arms war that goes on between you

  try to control your children's access to

  the Internet and stuff like that and

  their desire to get that access Ravin

  when they're not supposed to have it and

  he was you know telling stories of you


  borrowing your friends phone or having

  different accounts and all these sorts

  of things just like normal kids stuff

  that you and I would do but if you're a

  parent so he has to be really really

  across the technology to be able to

  police his children's use of the

  technology and like all the new

  innovations that come about and all the

  different things that happen he has to

  know on top of all the other things he

  has to know in his life hmm and it was

  making my head spin all the stuff that

  was going on you know I won't go into

  all the details but like it was it was

  crazy and I was thinking gosh being a

  parent now Wow things are so different

  yeah it is really different and you know

  what he's not worried about what like

  kidnappers or people abducting your

  children while they're at the park

  because they don't want to go out like

  they want to stay in and do things

  online hmm and when they actually meet

  up with people who they're friends with

  online like their best Instagram friends

  who their messaging non-stop they

  completely shut down and they really shy

  and don't even want to talk to them like

  I don't talk to them person I just want

  to be at home talking to everyone on on

  social media that last part is the part

  that I think is really interesting you

  know obviously precursors of this

  conversation like you and I are people

  with our children we're going to talk

  about child raising choice it invites a

  lot of comments yeah but even even with

  my wife and I like we sometimes have

  discussions about like how would we

  hypothetically raise a child under

  different circumstances because it like

  it's an interesting couple conversation

  to have and even though like my whole

  life is technology I have always been on

  on the side of I would severely limit my

  child's access to technology for as long

  as was practically possible and of

  course before all the parents chimed in

  like I'm just talking about like how do

  things work in an ideal land alright

  like yeah I know why it happens but I

  find there's something kind of upsetting

  about seeing like a very very barely not

  baby kid using an iPad there's something

  that ii mean just i don't think that's


  for a little kid like i think a little

  kid should be interacting with the world

  but that's just like my personal feeling

  it's like I would want to hold back the

  existence of screens from my child as

  long as is possible


  when you can't hold that back anymore I

  would still want to try to limit it as

  much as possible it's so interesting to

  hear you say that and surprising to me

  you seem like the one who is very much

  like says hey you know all the world's

  moving online that's where we're going

  to live our lives now you're a big

  advocate of education being taken over

  by technology like it seems like you're

  just putting off the inevitable

  well let's skip this because I want to

  get to the second part of this for now

  which is what hasn't thrown a wrinkle

  into a whole bunch of my previous

  thoughts which don't necessarily make a

  lot of sense right now but what I think

  the real problem for parents is is like

  okay so I had this theoretical plan if

  I'd want to try to limit screen time for

  my kid but what I can see happening with

  the people I know who have children who

  start approaching middle school age is

  that this question is out of your hands

  and it's out of your hands largely

  because of things like social media and

  so if you are the parent who wants to

  clamp down on your child's social media


  you're really forcing your child into

  like a weird social pariah role

  definitely they're like everything that

  is happening socially with these kids is

  happening online

  and I think that there is a real way in

  which the parenting options are

  constrained by the decisions that other

  parents have made and I think like even

  if you wanted to be a parent who was

  trying to limit their kids social media

  influence I think it's a real you're

  damned if you do when you're damned if

  you don't it's not an option I sort of

  said what about just taking a phone away

  altogether or just banning and it's like

  that you can't do that you know you may

  as well be the kid going to school in a

  potato sack and you would just become

  ostracized but it would make their life

  worse so it's such a difficult situation

  yeah it's an interesting thing to see

  happen and obviously become much more of

  a concern and I get something I'm really

  glad that when I was teaching I missed

  out on like I left teaching just as this

  was becoming a thing right I'm very glad

  that like I missed all of that but I

  like I have real deep sympathies for

  people trying to raise

  kids now because just like I have a real

  gut feeling that there's something that

  might not be good for a baby's brain to

  be interacting with an iPad all the time

  I really have a suspicion that like I

  don't think social media is necessarily

  great for lots of adults and I think

  it's probably worse for teenagers and

  yeah preteens like I think everything

  about social media is bad enough if

  you're an adult and I really just don't

  think people should learn how to

  socialize through Facebook like I can

  hardly imagine a worse way that young

  people should try to learn how to

  socialize there's the part of me which

  is like okay well having your kid learn

  how to socialize through Facebook is bad

  I don't think it's a good thing to do

  but guess what totally cutting your kid

  off from how everybody in their social

  group is socializing is also terrible

  there is no winning in this scenario

  like you have to let your kid

  participate in a thing that I don't

  think is good because if you don't let

  them participate in it like they might

  as well be that weird homeschooled kid

  who never talks to other children that's

  what's happening here it's so surprising

  hearing you talk that way like cuz you

  know you I guess I sort of have an

  impression of you that you're this guy

  who's like ah you know in 30 years we're

  all just gonna be jacked into the matrix

  and a plug in the back of our head and

  never talk to another human anyway and

  live all virtually and you know you

  can't stop progress you know technology

  is good hearing you kind of go a little

  bit old-school there and say you know we

  should all be holding hands and playing

  past the parcel well it's nice now you

  make me want to take back on my words

  and you say that braid but you are right

  on those aspects of it you cannot fight

  technological change and on the whole I

  think technological change is good I

  don't change these two opinions here but

  I just in particular and people have

  heard it you know over the the length of

  his podcast like I have become much more

  cautious and concerned about certain

  parts of the Internet yeah and then when

  you start talking about people who are

  learning how to interact with people

  like I don't think it's good and also

  just like to put a pin in it I don't

  think the way that the school system of

  the existence of social media from the

  world like I don't think the way that

  schools are organized are good ways for

  kids to learn how to interact with other

  human beings but adding on this

  additional meta layer I think makes it

  worse that's why I like it's right there

  that I have a concern and what you said

  is a thing that I have heard from a

  surprising number of people that their

  children seem to not want to or have a

  hard time interacting with other

  children in person or like they prefer

  to interact you know in a way that is

  through text messages so that the kids

  have time to think about how they want

  to say things I find that concerning I

  just don't know what can be done about

  it because I think even for adults that

  can be a hard thing and it's something

  in my own life I've been aware of like

  how much of my relationship maintenance

  with other human beings is done through

  text messages and I have been finding

  myself thinking over the past maybe half

  a year or so like are there ways I could

  escalate these interactions to voice

  because I think voice is higher

  bandwidth in some ways over text but of

  course not really because the reason

  that everybody is interacting with text

  is because it is more convenient and it

  is more easy to do so and so like you're

  trying to move uphill in a way that

  people just don't want or like everybody

  feels that weird anxiety when like the

  phone is ringing and you just assume

  that it's some kind of problem or

  emergency if it's a person that you

  haven't heard from in a while so I don't

  know what parents should do I always

  find it interesting to ask parents what

  are they doing with their kids and their

  digital lives at all different stages

  because I think it's it's a really hard

  situation in a way that it just it just

  didn't used to be I also find it

  interesting because I think it could

  have I don't know if this is gonna be a

  little bit overblown but I really do

  think like maybe it will have a real

  impact on how society operates in the

  future if you have a generation of kids


  grew up with Instagram in school with a

  kind of super hyper optimized popularity

  competitiveness competition yeah I think

  that's one of the bigger problems yeah

  there is also the whole that we're not

  talking about but you can imagine all

  the things that go into it how it's

  changing a lot of sex and sexual ization

  things like the way that young people

  relate to each other and sort of find

  their way through that aspect of life

  seems to be really at a precipice

  they're really amped up like you know

  the expectations that people now have of

  how relationships work and those sort of

  early stages is like it's hard to keep a

  lid on that now because of the access to

  all the stuff they have and and what

  that's doing it's kind of scary you know

  it's a loss of control yeah like we've

  all had birds-and-the-bees talks and you

  know we all know how we sort of found

  our way through that aspect of life but

  the conversations that I'm hearing about

  now that parents are having are more

  along the lines of look I know you've

  seen this I know you've looked at that

  and I know what you think these things

  are like that's not what it's like you

  need to pull back from what you think

  those things are like like I imagine for

  you and I as kids a lot of it was you

  know you were being told stuff and

  finding out stuff and you were like

  wide-eyed and going oh gosh I had no

  idea and you were kind of learning what

  things would lead to now it's kind of

  kids are like seeing quite extreme

  things yeah they aren't particularly

  realistic and parents are having to say

  the birds and the bees talk now is not

  this is how it works it's more like that

  stuff that you've seen that's not how it

  works it's more like this yeah I

  actually think that that is a like a

  subset of of the general problem that

  I'm concerned about which is with all

  kinds of things the Internet can have a

  tendency to push you towards more

  extreme versions of things

  yeah like the way recommendation

  algorithms work you click on a thing and

  then the recommendations are different

  ways you can take that thing to the more

  extreme version and you can just start

  going down real rabbit holes that covers

  every aspect of a thing that a person

  might be interested in right it's like

  yeah we can be talking

  the birds and the bees or we can be

  talking about politics or we can be

  arguing about any of the the bazillion

  things there can be a flame war about on

  the Internet there's like these bias

  cliffs that are all around you that you

  can find yourself sliding down and

  unintentionally and we struggle enough

  with as that okay alone like kids so

  yeah like that's what I think is is the

  real thing that I've become sensitized

  to like I think was two years ago like I

  took a break from Twitter for a while

  and I feel like that was one of the best

  things I ever did because it changed

  something in my mind about the way I

  interact with this stuff but I also feel

  like it's it sensitized me to this in a

  way and I have this feeling like as a

  grown adult who is a person who does a

  very good job of managing his own life

  like I'm a self-employed person I have

  to manage all of this kind of stuff like

  I think I'm like I'm above average in

  self-management skills yeah I think

  that's a fair statement yeah like yeah

  this is very stable right it's like I

  can feel the internet trying to pull me

  in ways that I can resistor that I'm

  aware of

  but I think this stuff can really catch

  you off-guard if you don't know it's

  it's coming actually going back to our

  conversation about universal paper clips

  like I had this experience years ago of

  the first time I ran into a game that

  was sort of like universal paper clips

  but I didn't know what this thing was

  like I didn't have any experience with

  these kind of games that are there to

  just hook you and I got hooked really

  deep on a game that I I realize like I'm

  not having any fun but I can't stop

  thinking about this game and why am i

  playing it and like I'm not actually

  enjoying this experience and that was

  like oh I have my eyes open too this is

  a kind of trap that exists on the

  internet like you've you've wandered off

  the path in Mordor and like and now you

  found yourself in this cul-de-sac that

  you didn't know but I'm a rational adult

  who can work my way out of that and then

  recognize what this thing is and so I

  just worry that like when you're eight

  you don't have the skills or the ability

  to recognize this and then also to throw

  in the fact that you're in the the

  horrible horrible pressure cooker

  situation which is school which might

  not even if you are the best kid in the


  allow you to work your way out of that I

  think there's just traps everywhere

  good luck parents yeah good luck parents

  you have all of my sympathy points

  aren't you glad mr. chompers doesn't

  have a smartphone yeah I just hope he

  doesn't have an Instagram account hello

  listeners I'm betting a lot of you have

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  hey great when I went to Australia I

  went on a plane yeah yeah okay what do

  you think about hot towels on planes I

  find it strange weirdest thing ever I

  can never say no to it although I never

  really I then just kind of don't know

  what to do with it I like dab my face

  and wipe my hands and then I've just got

  this cold wet thing for the next three

  or four minutes that I can't wait to get

  rid of and can't figure out how to get

  rid of because they won't come and take

  it soon enough and they very useful do

  you take them I take them I'm laughing

  because I just had an experience when

  I'm recently flew to America where

  they're passing out the hot towels and I

  was for some reason really cognizant of

  them and I was looking around and I

  noticed that everybody used them to wipe

  their hands and I always use them on my

  face and I had this little moment of

  like F I've been doing this wrong my

  whole life is not for my face I thought

  this was from anyways laughing like I

  didn't know it there they're all making

  fun of me on social media behind my back

  right they're all going oh there's an

  idiot who's hot salable to wipe his face

  what a moron

  he look around everyone's wiping their

  butts you've got all over your face yes

  I understand it seems like from another


  yeah they didn't realize that you don't

  do this anymore I think this is 100

  percents a weird anachronism

  there's stuck around as a black bloody

  marys who drinks Bloody Marys and yet

  everyone on planes always old as a

  Bloody Mary is that what people order

  around please

  I always find the alcohol on planes

  weird I don't know why there's black

  bars on play it seems like a strange

  environment but maybe it's just a click

  to calm people down but I don't drink

  alcohol on planes but when you talk to

  other people it seems like the serving

  of alcohol is the main use of planes to

  some people like the beyond the fact

  they can fly even but like are you going

  on a you know are you gonna have lots of

  drinks and you're gonna drink and

  everyone drinks on planes I never drink

  on plane yeah no but daddy Mary's just

  like a plain drink and I don't I don't

  understand that either I'm sure people

  will tell me some reason I don't drink

  on planes

  I don't eat on planes over tell the

  flight hood like I'm not taking any of

  your food there's no food service here

  but I can't say no to a hot towel like

  they just come and it's on the little

  tongs like I just I guess I have to

  accept this it's a strange thing I'd be

  quite happy thing to do away with the

  hot towels on planes in your plate but

  just give me like a chocolate or

  something maybe I don't over I don't

  know I feel like I would miss the hot

  towel I feel like it's part of the weird

  ritual it just seems like a waste of

  weight and time and space and how did I

  I keep taking them I wiped my face with

  them and well thank God you wipe your

  face with them so that we know we know

  it's like I'm not alone in this activity

  yeah I do that I do the face I don't

  know I think they're gonna be around for

  a long time I don't think they're going

  anywhere at the hot towel on planes

  speaking of hot towels and things that

  are like weird and why do you still do

  them why does YouTube do this rewind

  video every year and then people that

  look forward to it like it's a new Star

  Wars movie or something there seems to

  be since some section of the internet

  that gets quite hyped about this YouTube

  rewind video and who's gonna be in it

  and I can't think of anything I have

  less interest in yeah YouTube rewind

  it's a strained beast have you watched

  this years yeah the 2017 version came

  out what is like a a week and a half ago

  is it any good

  Oh have you not watched it no okay well

  I was talking to a few people in my life

  about this and I realized a very funny

  thing which is that okay so YouTube

  rewind for anyone who doesn't know is

  is this like like summary cameo video

  mess thing of stuff that's happened in

  the last year as I understand it they

  don't like take the best stuff that was

  on YouTube that year and turn it into a

  montage it so like bespoke made stuff

  for that video yeah okay let's back up

  here right I guess I'm trying to say

  like this video called YouTube rewind

  has as of right now like a hundred and

  sixty million views right they do shove

  it down your throat a bit like okay yeah

  it's incredibly promoted but I realized

  talking to normal people that no normal

  person knows what this thing is all

  right no normal person seems to watch

  this or have any interest in this right

  this thing is it's entirely a social

  network that is contained and pointing

  to itself it's like the place to be

  saying isn't it it's like you know

  Studio 54 back in the day people would

  just want to be seen in it like and they

  want to see who's in it yeah it's it's

  very extreme so it's a status symbol or

  something maybe I don't know yeah so for

  people who don't know which are normal

  people who shouldn't know it I'll

  describe it in the most cynical way

  YouTube gets a bunch of their most

  visible known photogenic creators that

  YouTube also wants to promote and gets

  them all together to be in a gigantic

  compilation video of meaninglessness

  where they're they're all in it for a

  couple of seconds smiling to the camera

  doing something funny maybe passing an

  object back and forth so that there's

  some vague idea of continuity through

  the video across time but this year's

  video is 7 minutes long and they must

  cram 200 creators in there all of whom

  have had like a million plus subscribers

  who then tell their subscribers oh I was

  in YouTube rewind this year so it gets

  phenomenal viewing numbers

  but the thing is calling it meaning this

  is almost a compliment too but like it

  is it's so and you can just tell from

  watching it I mean I haven't watched

  this years but I have watched them

  before and I have heard stories from

  people who have contributed you can tell

  that every segment would have involved

  days of filming for those two or three

  seconds that they actually kept it

  always alludes so they did something

  much more big and elaborate that got cut


  and they just kept half a second of

  someone winking or something like it's

  really bad

  oh no watch it okay yeah like I honestly

  think you should just put it on in

  silent in the background while we're

  talking because okay the thing has

  always been a little bit embarrassing I

  will say that like go back five years

  ago and I thought that they were okay

  simply because YouTube was smaller it

  was less obviously pushing an agenda you

  were more likely to know who the

  creators were and because there were

  fewer people packed in the video it had

  some chance of being interesting hmm but

  I think the last three years have been

  really terrible have you ever been asked

  to contribute no I have never been asked

  but then again like I'm not an on camera

  person it doesn't make any sense to ask

  me to be part of it I had like an

  animation section this year they didn't

  I I heard there was a little animation

  section at the end this year which I

  actually thought was the best part of

  the whole video was they had a bunch of

  animators at the end and the reason it

  was the best part of the whole video is

  they obviously told each of the

  animators that they were going to have

  whatever it was 5 or 10 seconds just do

  whatever they want and the animators

  were unconstrained by all the dumbness

  that every one of the physical people

  was constrained by like we put you in a

  room and we have these props and we want

  you to interact with these props I and

  like look goofy or look happy or

  whatever if the animator part was

  clearly the best part but the rest of it

  was just this fills me with dread

  watching this it's so like glassy and

  you know what else makes me feel a bit

  like icky well knowing that the people

  who were in it would be watching it with

  like wide eyes feeling so good about

  their one section and thinking how like

  impactful it was like I'm what I'm

  imagining them watching it I don't know

  because someone needs to tell the

  youtubes to stop doing this it's become

  a thing that's what the Oscars for them

  it's so self-absorbed that it's

  revolting that's the good term for us so

  far because if you do

  know who all these youtubers are the

  video is meaningless and this year's was

  especially bad because they were cutting

  between scenes so fast very fast cut

  there's no pretense that you can follow

  what's occurring so it's like okay what

  am i watching here I'm watching a thing

  where if I am the most obsessive YouTube

  viewer I'm just going to recognize a

  bunch of millionaires that's what's

  happening here

  it's also a bit like how good a thing

  did I get in the yearbook yeah it's a

  little bit yearbook E and all the

  popular kids have a page in the yearbook

  full of all the things they did and let

  you and I other ones who aren't in the

  year yeah it's oh I just saw someone I

  recognized amazing yeah and don't like

  this year is in particular I feel like

  it's so clear that this year is like

  here or all of the acceptable beautiful

  people that we want to promote and there

  are plenty of people on YouTube who if

  you were doing some compilation of the


  would be in there but it's like but

  YouTube doesn't want to show those

  people we only want to show certain

  kinds of people right we don't want to

  show other kinds of people but how is

  this promoting anything it's not like

  you're gonna see anything in this video

  and go hmm I might look into that person

  more and explore their work or subscribe

  to their channel it's almost like

  youtuber giving you a like on snaps

  degree yeah yeah like these are the

  people that we're giving a like yeah

  that's 100% what it is yeah YouTube is

  handing out hearts to specific creators

  in this way and this year's was super

  cringy it was really hard to watch

  there's a thing that really just rubbed

  me the wrong way which is also like I

  think is a little tone deaf on youtubes

  part which is ostensibly this is like oh

  hey let's look at all of the creators on

  YouTube but they open it up with a

  standard late-night TV guy introducing

  the YouTube people and I feel like this

  has been a year where all of the YouTube

  people have been complaining about the

  invasion of late-night-tv and how

  YouTube is like weirdly obsessed and

  promotes like a whole menagerie of

  late-night TV personalities like it's

  just all over YouTube I was like okay

  well the

  is just another indication that the

  thing YouTube really wants is more late

  night TV on YouTube which is just I just

  really don't get Janerio I've been

  watching this video the whole time we've

  been talking admittedly with no sound

  and I realized like you know I'm an old

  guy now who makes boring educational

  videos so I'm you know I'm in the

  minority but this this kind of makes me

  a bit embarrassed of my job yeah I'd

  like if people watch this and associated

  this in any way with what I do for a

  living I'd I feel really bad like I know

  I'm like the old man in this and

  YouTube's a young person's game but I'm

  like I know it makes me not want to say

  that I'm a youtuber for a living like I

  have to change how I describe my job

  this is definitely a thing that there

  has been a change in the cultural mind

  shift about the idea of a youtuber and

  yes it's like I will I will never say

  that because now it used to be like

  people would say something's like what

  is that even me like what are you

  talking about but now people have a very

  particular idea of what that means

  and it exists right like this video is

  what a youtuber is it's like oh god I

  don't want anything to do with this

  young like sickeningly extroverted yeah

  attention-seeking will do any crazy

  thing if it results in being on a screen

  that is one represented case I feel like

  I'm kind of a like the grumpy old yeah

  youtuber person who has nothing to do

  with this and wants nothing to do with

  this the thing that has been happening

  for years which I just don't like but

  was obviously inevitable which is this

  weird Hollywood ization of the YouTube

  platform that does lead like this very

  particular anime people angry but like

  desperate la kind of person who's on

  YouTube and like they can do very well

  on YouTube but it's it's like I just

  don't want anything to do with what you

  said like these people who are

  sickeningly extroverted like I don't

  want anything to do with you I can't

  imagine what YouTube could have asked

  them to do that I wouldn't do to be in

  this video exactly yeah

  now bark like a dog yeah

  now okay like they just seem to be doing

  that okay now dress up as a monster and

  get out of this grave yeah now hold this

  fidget spinner mhm okay okay do you know

  all that said I don't know what I'd do

  if they asked me to do something for it

  because you'd feel like like if they

  said to me Oh Brady can we do like a six

  second thing to do with one of your

  channels to put in the rewind like what

  I say no like I kind of feel like you'd

  have to say yes why do you feel like

  you'd have to say yes part of my job is

  to let you know promote my channels and

  make sure they're successful not just

  for me but for the people who are

  involved and like it does get watched

  like 160 million times is any good

  coming from that well probably not yet

  as far as I can tell none of these

  channels get any kind of bump from this

  because yeah who's watching this right

  orally you've watched this in the

  background okay and you've seen

  half-second clips of 200 people are

  there any of those people you're gonna

  go like wow that person took a water

  balloon to the face really well I want

  to check out his channel you're not

  gonna do that for any of these people

  it's not happening like I think this is

  100% a case like some other things we

  have discussed where like an institution

  is getting people to do a thing and the

  currency that they're paying them in is

  honor right they're like Oh what what a

  great honor it is to be in YouTube

  rewind I was like okay honor sounds like

  I'm not getting paid and honor sounds

  like I might not have a good reason to

  do this like would you want me to do

  this thing I tell you I reckon the only

  people that would benefit from being in

  this are probably the animators because

  they're the only things that I would

  look at and think well that looks good

  I've never I've never seen that person

  before looks like they're doing some

  interesting stuff yeah whereas everyone

  else is not doing like their native

  thing yeah that's why I said like the

  animation part of it was by far the best

  part of it it was that yeah at the very

  end in the credits and because they had

  total control and they didn't have to do

  all of this cringe-worthy stuff and that

  yeah they're doing the thing that they

  do whereas everyone else is like

  whatever they normally do they're not

  doing they're just like yeah taking a

  water balloon in the face instead of

  their normal beauty channel or their

  normal vlog or their normal skydiving

  whatever they normally do it's really

  cringey and

  even though the animator part was the

  best part if they asked me to do it I

  would say no because I feel like the

  video was just so uncomfortable

  I wouldn't want it's not anything to do

  with it and in particular the thing I

  don't like is you're watching it on

  silent so that you you might not have

  picked up on this but so they're doing

  like oh here's a million memes and

  people being outrageous and doing funny

  stuff but then in the in the middle the

  music gets all serious and people start

  holding hands and there's like a little

  moment of like oh boy how did we come

  together in 2017 like we all came

  together as a community it's like to do

  what exactly like well we don't want to

  get too specific about what we came

  together to do but we sure did come

  together in 20 seconds like to raise

  some adsense measure exactly it's just

  like we're gonna have a like a solid and

  I like I hate that stuff I really really

  hate that like forced together and it's

  like oh we're like if you want to make a

  movie with a million cameos and some fun

  memes like fine make that but don't like

  do a tone shift in the middle I want no

  part in this it's absolutely awful I'll

  also just recommend there was a really

  interesting video to watch by one of the

  participants which backs up what you

  were describing like all of these clips

  look like they're part of a much bigger

  thing and there's a youtuber in the UK

  called Emma blackberry who did a long

  discussion about what was it actually

  like to film YouTube rewind yeah and she

  was actually talking about in the UK and

  it just sounded brutal she's done it for

  the past few years and it is literally a

  full day of shooting where you never

  have any idea when you're going to be on

  camera when they're gonna call you like

  you're standing around you just like you

  just have to be there for enormous

  amounts of time and then the end result

  is that you are on camera for three or

  four frames like what an incredible

  waste of a person's time and especially

  when like they're asking people for whom

  like the opportunity cost of doing this

  project is non-trivial like Emma

  BlackBerry is not a tiny vlogger like

  she has a million and a half subscribers

  hmm and to ask her to be like standing

  around for a whole day for like for the

  glory of being in a YouTube video for a

  few frames like it's crazy that's a

  crazy opportunity cost multiply it

  across all the people who are

  participating answer me this then most

  of these people are now big business

  right and they know they're worth

  they're not like naive anymore not many

  people who are that big on YouTube er

  why are they saying yes like you said

  you would quite comfortably say no

  because you see no benefit to you it's a

  waste of time like are they saying yes

  because they see some benefit are they

  saying yes because they're vain are they

  flattered by it like why are they saying

  yes why are they saying yeah I'm a big

  youtuber I can command tens of thousands

  of dollars for my time but I'm gonna

  stand around all day for three frames in

  YouTube rewind well I think there's

  there's many different levels of this

  alright so level 1 are the genuinely big

  people that the video is featuring for a

  significant period of time right right

  so you have the big names who are

  brought out they're able to do their

  thing very quickly and they leave and

  they're genuinely featured for a

  non-trivial amount of time like I could

  see like if I was a vlogger with 10

  million plus subscribers doing their job

  rewind might make sense because it's

  less of a time commitment and you know

  that you're getting some promotion out

  of it what sort of keeps you in the

  zeitgeist a bit yeah it keeps you in the

  zeitgeist and like maybe at that level

  it's not a bad idea to just like have

  some connections with YouTube or like to

  be seen to be doing YouTube a favor I

  can say that I can see why doing YouTube

  a favor could help you down the track

  when you need help yeah and I'm just

  trying to say like where do you start

  with this like if you're the really big

  person yeah there's a way that it makes

  sense ok so now let's get down to like

  the people who are in the YouTube rewind

  smaller youtubers where we're talking

  like a million plus subscribers right

  yeah this is just like it's just a funny

  world because I think the statistics now

  there's something like 2,000 channels

  that have more than a million

  subscribers on YouTube it's a crazy

  number does that mean I might cut one

  one-thousandth of them yes it's exact

  exactly right you can

  you can twice Brady thanks James yeah

  that's how that works

  I think it's 4,000 actually but or like

  it's I think it's even harder than that

  but whatever it is the number keeps

  going up and every time I hear it is

  just it seems crazy big why they doing

  it okay because they think that we're

  gonna have more time than they did

  that's probably one answer well yeah

  okay thinking that they're gonna have

  more time that they do is one answer I'm

  trying to think of a nice way to

  describe a particular type of person I'm

  gonna say this I'm not talking about

  anyone in particular but I am talking

  about like the kind of people who might

  want to move to LA to become movie stars

  yeah there's a certain kind of person

  ambitious aspirational okay yeah sure

  those are nice words what I would say is

  that there are people who are empty

  inside and try constantly to fill

  themselves up with the meaningless

  approval of strangers vacuous is not

  vacuous I mean it is like they are empty

  inside and they have to constantly take

  likes and hearts and approval from

  anonymous strangers and bring it into

  themselves and maybe I've met some

  people like this and I find them

  unsettling and weird I feel like you are

  not my kind of person if you are really

  deeply wanting the approval of people

  you don't know I find it strange and

  there are a lot of people who would say

  become a vlogger on YouTube because

  that's the thing like that's the thing

  that drives them is maybe if enough

  people give me a thumbs up I won't feel

  so empty inside and so I can imagine

  that those people will say yes to

  anything that's promotion so that's one

  kind of person and you know what I'm

  totally fine with that because the

  person's making a decision like they

  want to do this thing for exposure they

  have their own internal reasons for

  doing it I have no problem with that

  but the other kind of thing that I

  suspect is happening is a lot of these

  channels are people who have gotten


  in like what is a relatively compressed

  timeframe maybe like a couple of years

  they've gone from being nobody on

  YouTube to being someone who's invited

  on YouTube rewind and I do think that

  YouTube is kind of exploiting people who

  this might be one of their first

  interactions with something like this

  and YouTube is saying oh come be part of

  this thing so I better start know better

  because I haven't been burned yet I do

  suspect that that is a a non-trivial

  number of the people who are here yeah

  that it's people who just don't have any

  experience with what is it like to

  actually film a gigantic project like

  this what does this really mean and

  YouTube is taking advantage of their

  inexperience in exchange for getting

  them to be part of this gigantic thing

  like I did when I got you to help me

  with my mile up i video yes that's true

  yeah I had no idea actually it was

  really fun Dave Brady I really like you

  didn't get much screen time for all that

  sitting around you did that yeah but see

  the difference is how much screen time

  did I want i had the reverse problem I

  had more screen time than I want

  I wanted zero screen time and there was

  some screen time there was a little bit

  sneaky screen time it's a very different

  but yeah so YouTube rewind its cringy

  it's embarrassing it's for no one I

  think it's kind of exploitive and it's

  awful and I wish you two would stop

  doing it link in the show notes yeah

  link in the show notes go enjoy it

  people make sure to give it a thumbs up


  anymore mr. chompers store I think we're

  just that's just about it for today's

  podcast ya notice everyone for listening

  thanks grey for sharing their latest

  stories chompers we'll be back in a few

  weeks time with another episode see you

  after Christmas everybody yeah I did

  sign up for an Instagram account though

  so I can follow some of these dogs so

  yeah I hope you follow Audrey I'm

  already following Audrey I'm already

  following it good I don't really get the

  Instagram but you know everyone has me

  to try it so I'm giving it a try yes