Roderick on the Line

Ep. 272: "Graham Is Beautiful"


  oh yeah tilda swinton I'd like to see [TS]

  Kate Blanchet until this went and do [TS]

  some things together maybe a buddy in [TS]

  heaven haven't they already have they it [TS]

  seems like they should they should do a [TS]

  computer movie just kicking Andy Serkis [TS]

  in the balls for two hours shut up shut [TS]

  up any circus [TS]

  up any circus [TS]

  [Music] [TS]

  hello hi John hi Merlin Happy New Year [TS]

  still it's just the holiday season is [TS]

  really take my belt so much blowback for [TS]

  that mulatto costume and it was a lot of [TS]

  emails about the Virgin Mary oh my god [TS]

  and an angry baby claiming to be God [TS]

  came after an angry cold baby but warm [TS]

  from inside one from inside by the fact [TS]

  that it's God his righteous wrath yeah [TS]

  Christmas episode from the the week [TS]

  before this one recording this and we're [TS]

  here to wish you a happy 2018 from oh [TS]

  it's gonna be a good year do you think [TS]

  you really think well you remember at [TS]

  the end of 2016 I got real cocky around [TS]

  2016 was like oh yeah this finally you [TS]

  know yeah yeah because we were like when [TS]

  will this year be over this is the worst [TS]

  year in history 2016 is the worst year [TS]

  in history even though probably not as [TS]

  bad as 1915 or 1918 when an influenza or [TS]

  1919 when an influenza epidemic went [TS]

  around the world and killed millions of [TS]

  people but no 2016 1939 that's a bad [TS]

  year June 39 to June 40 you know a lot [TS]

  of shit went down 1848 was an [TS]

  interesting year like a half a dozen [TS]

  European revolutions deposed like a [TS]

  bunch of royal families how that was a [TS]

  year exciting that was that was Europe [TS]

  Spring number one that was a bad year [TS]

  1968 was definitely a weird year that [TS]

  was a crazy that's I think these kids [TS]

  today they don't know from weird it's [TS]

  your never get your head around click [TS]

  him oh yeah 1865 got April 1865 certain [TS]

  tough year [TS]

  forty-five lot happened in that one [TS]

  month but no yeah I think 68 is going to [TS]

  buy pound-for-pound [TS]

  in terms of like really looking at how [TS]

  people's knobs were calibrated at that [TS]

  time 1968 was fucked up yeah going into [TS]

  1968 and coming out of 1968 we're [TS]

  talking about two different world yes [TS]

  right magical mystery tour to the White [TS]

  Album right well and also I was born in [TS]

  that year so you go from pre John to [TS]

  post John the breed of cat that my [TS]

  daughter would like to get that I have [TS]

  no intention of getting became [TS]

  acknowledged as a breed in my lifetime [TS]

  1967 it's some kind of big cat right [TS]

  tall cat it looks like a cartoon if you [TS]

  look up exotics space cat try that yeah [TS]

  there's no such cat as an exotic what [TS]

  are you talking about yeah yeah exotics [TS]

  is the breed of k2 it's kind of like I [TS]

  mean I know I'll get this wrong don't [TS]

  email me it's kind of like a [TS]

  short-haired Persian basically with that [TS]

  face look at that face look at those [TS]

  eyes that's one of those fake cat faces [TS]

  that's not a real thing [TS]

  I know I know that's why you know you [TS]

  know that the cat that we are that we're [TS]

  trying to get is a is a Norwegian Forest [TS]

  Cat hmm have you ever seen that in [TS]

  forests got just look at the plumage no [TS]

  yeah we chin or okay oh that looks like [TS]

  a cat you don't wanna mess with its kind [TS]

  of cat have you ever seen Norwegian so [TS]

  put in Norwegian Forest Cat chases Fox [TS]

  oh yeah oh look at that oh wow it can [TS]

  keep up in the Fox it not only that it [TS]

  can hunt a fox I mean look at those [TS]

  foxes they're terrified terrified look [TS]

  at the ears are back oh my God look at [TS]

  the picture DC down a little bit in the [TS]

  image images of a woman holding a [TS]

  Norwegian Forest Cat inside out [TS]

  mean Coon this is big it was that big [TS]

  our cow weighs six ounce know that cat [TS]

  weighs 50 pound [TS]

  oh my god yeah its enormous and it's a [TS]

  fox it's a fox killer mmm [TS]

  it's as big as a dog and so in our [TS]

  family there is a desire to own one of [TS]

  these animals my mom says that she is [TS]

  the one who's going to buy the cat so I [TS]

  get no say and what the cat is or does [TS]

  hang on hang on your your mom is going [TS]

  to acquire a cat of her choosing for [TS]

  your household my mom feels like a this [TS]

  is the one of the amazing things about a [TS]

  Norwegian Forest Cat is it is a [TS]

  hypoallergenic cat which is the opposite [TS]

  of what it sounds like it means you [TS]

  don't get allergies to it that's right [TS]

  you're not allergic to it because it has [TS]

  because it has no dander and I think the [TS]

  furs like the fur of above a lion and [TS]

  the cat so so I'm like well I feel like [TS]

  the forest cat should be and my mom is [TS]

  like you don't get to say so but the [TS]

  somehow the Norwegian Forest Cat has not [TS]

  arrived on the scene yet and so and I'm [TS]

  Pro Norwegian Forest Cat I just feel [TS]

  like I want a little bit more to do with [TS]

  it but no sorry no that's not part of my [TS]

  person you have any way to practice by [TS]

  interacting with this kind of cat and [TS]

  seeing how you feel about its mojo I [TS]

  also look at their faces in these [TS]

  photographs they're very divided they [TS]

  are there they have a lot of dignity [TS]

  they are I think they are largely [TS]

  beautiful kindly opposite in some ways [TS]

  of the cat my daughter once exactly the [TS]

  cats are cute they have a lien equality [TS]

  yeah your your daughter's cat does not [TS]

  seem like it could survive outside these [TS]

  cats feel like if they do deign to come [TS]

  inside right they come inside only to [TS]

  walk around and basically like sit on [TS]

  everything to make sure you know that [TS]

  they are the owner [TS]

  I'm just gonna come in and take whatever [TS]

  they want because they can and I really [TS]

  approve of that I feel like there's no [TS]

  possible way I will not really get along [TS]

  with this yeah that's you sit on a [TS]

  throne pet in one of these and I also [TS]

  feel like no matter who claims to own [TS]

  this cat this cat will claim me as its [TS]

  owner and so it will want to interact [TS]

  primarily with me oh I'm sending one I [TS]

  really like it's one of it out in the [TS]

  snow look at that looking particularly [TS]

  like furry look at that thing and I [TS]

  think that there is also a Siberian [TS]

  version of the Norwegian Forest Cat huh [TS]

  oh yeah see look at that cat come on [TS]

  that's a good look come on [TS]

  it's as big as an owl and it has paws [TS]

  like a catcher's mitt and it's got the [TS]

  bearing of a gargoyle yeah yeah yeah and [TS]

  just like this business I mean that's [TS]

  the kind of cat that would keep varmints [TS]

  out of your yard [TS]

  just by energy the varmints would come [TS]

  within a hundred meters of your house [TS]

  and they'd be like hmm I feel like I'm [TS]

  gonna take the long way today huh [TS]

  all right so you're not on principle [TS]

  you're not against your mother's [TS]

  decision that this is a kind of animal [TS]

  that's gonna live in your home no I am [TS]

  NOT again she's she also in charge of am [TS]

  I getting that she's also in charge of [TS]

  acquiring it yes but the thing about it [TS]

  is that these are now some kind of [TS]

  prized breed where if you want to buy [TS]

  one you have to pay $700 or something [TS]

  that's well what I think $700 is what [TS]

  you get for a neutered and decrepid well [TS]

  if I'm a factor second yeah like [TS]

  something that's already hunted a bunch [TS]

  of foxes and is lost in here and I'm [TS]

  like look if we're gonna get one of [TS]

  these things I want to get a breeding [TS]

  one get a fresh one and my mom's I want [TS]

  to get a kitten that's gonna be like a [TS]

  that I'm gonna put out to stud and she [TS]

  says I don't even think that you can get [TS]

  one that isn't neutered because they [TS]

  want to reserve the who they don't want [TS]

  to water down the bridge right constrain [TS]

  the supply yeah they don't want like [TS]

  just some normal out there with a with a [TS]

  breeding cat so and I just feel like [TS]

  you're gonna put they it's a big cat I [TS]

  think it's a I think it's the people the [TS]

  people that have decided just like there [TS]

  are people that go to their local [TS]

  Democratic Party district meeting once a [TS]

  month to use Robert's Rules of Order on [TS]

  one another just how those people that [TS]

  you would think are crazy train set [TS]

  people that just ended up instead of [TS]

  having train sets or shortwave radios [TS]

  they go to Democratic Party meetings you [TS]

  think oh these people are nuts and then [TS]

  when it comes time to nominate and elect [TS]

  a candidate to public office right turns [TS]

  out they're the ones they are like they [TS]

  actually accrue power to themselves [TS]

  because nobody else cares enough and so [TS]

  it ends up that they run the Democratic [TS]

  Party and there are Republicans doing [TS]

  the same thing elsewhere and these are [TS]

  the people that are running the [TS]

  Democratic Party of kisses of Norwegian [TS]

  foreign okay but she this is something [TS]

  she's monitoring on a regular basis I [TS]

  think so I think that she that she has [TS]

  dropped it recently because she decided [TS]

  she needed a new couch and so we've been [TS]

  going to couch stores looking at couches [TS]

  and I'm the same as you I've been saying [TS]

  do not get a couch that's out of scale I [TS]

  don't want a couch that looks like it's [TS]

  full of dander and I'm not this isn't a [TS]

  couch for me but I'm like I'm this is a [TS]

  couch for you but I do not want you to [TS]

  get the wrong couch so so that's really [TS]

  embarrassing it's embarrassing to see [TS]

  somebody with the wrong it's bad you [TS]

  don't want to couch that you think you [TS]

  might have said this already and I'm [TS]

  spacing it but no what's your what's [TS]

  your daughter's feeling I can't what [TS]

  does she want I mean has she been I met [TS]

  a space this but has she been asking for [TS]

  a cat a lot no fortunately for me here [TS]

  are the things that that I used to be [TS]

  afraid of that have not come to pass [TS]

  okay she has never pestered about a pet [TS]

  she said periodically the [TS]

  she wants a pet but she drops it [TS]

  immediately but she doesn't have a mood [TS]

  board of all the same breed of cat and [TS]

  she cries that she doesn't have one no [TS]

  she doesn't want a pony she doesn't want [TS]

  a dog she's just fine with not having a [TS]

  pet if someone brings up a pet she's not [TS]

  she's not against it but never I get [TS]

  pestered about a pet and I get past [TS]

  heard about a lot of things I get [TS]

  pestered about a little baby brother or [TS]

  a little baby sister all the freaking [TS]

  time oh no really really really really [TS]

  once a sibling so like she thinks about [TS]

  it which is by herself like it's a thing [TS]

  and I keep saying like by the time the [TS]

  sibling arrives you're gonna be like [TS]

  nine yeah if I was able to manage it and [TS]

  she's like baby sister baby brother it's [TS]

  all she cares about and I think what she [TS]

  thinks she's gonna get is a five year [TS]

  old mm-hmm and I'm like no it would be a [TS]

  B you'd have to do like you'd have them [TS]

  we would press you into service my dear [TS]

  oh yeah [TS]

  but I think that she just has an inner [TS]

  she wants one she wants to care for a [TS]

  baby she she so I get past heard about [TS]

  that but the other thing that I worried [TS]

  about for years was screen time you know [TS]

  we're all talking we're all told screen [TS]

  times green times green time right oh [TS]

  you got a limit there screen time [TS]

  yeah and she has almost zero screen time [TS]

  and never pesters she doesn't want a [TS]

  gizmo she never is like I want to watch [TS]

  TV she never says I mean she does like [TS]

  to watch every once a while we have some [TS]

  exercises that she does and if she is [TS]

  doing them she wants to watch a video [TS]

  okay but that's like physical fitness [TS]

  exercises [TS]

  yeah well physical therapy huh and we [TS]

  have videos that she watches and they [TS]

  are videos that she's watched for a long [TS]

  time it's not like they're new ones she [TS]

  doesn't want to what oh except recently [TS]

  she has wanted to see she's wanted to [TS]

  watch singing in the rain oh that's a [TS]

  great move my daughter loves that movie [TS]

  yeah so she wears the onesie it's a [TS]

  great movie and she wants to watch tap [TS]

  dancing and she wants to watch people [TS]

  dancing in the rain one person in [TS]

  particular [TS]

  jinx gene Kelly that's right okay all [TS]

  right she wants to watch Gene Kelly [TS]

  dance in the rain mm-hmm [TS]

  but she also you know she has these [TS]

  videos that she watches but but there's [TS]

  never been a moment where she has come [TS]

  home and I and I know all of her [TS]

  classmates all have a million things all [TS]

  the little little characters and then [TS]

  you know like lego movie and her best [TS]

  friend [TS]

  from the time she was two years old [TS]

  was watching like three disney movies a [TS]

  day and say yeah well that was that used [TS]

  to be a bit of a thing where you just [TS]

  put in Pinocchio every afternoon it's [TS]

  just the thing you would do yeah well [TS]

  and I think I think her little best pal [TS]

  would watch Pinocchio and then either [TS]

  watch it again or watch watch frozen [TS]

  over and over and over and over no but [TS]

  she just doesn't show any interest in it [TS]

  she just never sting she never says why [TS]

  don't I have a she never says why [TS]

  doesn't daddy own the TV she never says [TS]

  why don't I have my own iPad pod she [TS]

  doesn't ever say I wish I could watch [TS]

  frozen right now she just doesn't and so [TS]

  this year my mom had an old iPhone and [TS]

  she said what if I what if I cleaned the [TS]

  iPhone and we just put like some videos [TS]

  on it and we gave it to her for [TS]

  Christmas and it was hers and I thought [TS]

  about it you know initially I was like [TS]

  that's a good idea mom but then I [TS]

  thought about it I was like well she's [TS]

  never asked for it right and we would be [TS]

  it's not my position on Barbie where [TS]

  it's like well if she really wants a [TS]

  Barbie like I we can I'm open to that [TS]

  but I'm also not gonna you know go out [TS]

  of my way to make it an option that [TS]

  she's aware of yeah why take it and be [TS]

  like here's a vice you didn't know about [TS]

  it's just sort of it's like it's like [TS]

  saying you know we're gonna get her this [TS]

  year Pacus [TS]

  yeah I mean who knows she might like it [TS]

  yeah well you know she won't know until [TS]

  she tried yes um so I don't get pastured [TS]

  about the about things that I worried [TS]

  about getting pestered about I don't [TS]

  really have a good answer for why she [TS]

  doesn't have a little brother or a [TS]

  little sister I don't have I don't have [TS]

  a good answer for why mommy and daddy [TS]

  aren't married really yeah I mean not I [TS]

  mean I haven't I have plenty of answers [TS]

  but not an answer that satisfies her [TS]

  okay because she's like hmm I'm [TS]

  listening to all of your I'm listening [TS]

  to your thoughts and reasons but I still [TS]

  don't see a reason to you know that's [TS]

  better than why don't you guys just get [TS]

  married like okay I hear all your things [TS]

  but none of that seems to preclude you [TS]

  getting married okay and I'm like hmm [TS]

  well I guess you know in a way you're [TS]

  you're right there isn't anything [TS]

  keeping mommy and daddy from getting [TS]

  married except for daddy [TS]

  well this episode of Roderick on the [TS]

  line is brought to you by Squarespace [TS]

  you can learn more about Squarespace [TS]

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  to Roderick on the line hello and that [TS]

  is because of Squarespace we host all of [TS]

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  with the UN Squarespace but you know [TS]

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  Squarespace is perfect for everybody [TS]

  maybe you got some kind of dingaling [TS]

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  the line and all the great shows we've [TS]

  also established that ignoring daddy is [TS]

  certainly one of the things that we do [TS]

  in this family oh brother [TS]

  so the I mean in some ways though it's [TS]

  not so different from the cat thing [TS]

  I pushed back on the cat thing for years [TS]

  cuz you know I don't know I mean I was [TS]

  acting like a real 50s dad where I was [TS]

  like no like we're not gonna get this [TS]

  thing because it's cute you can't even [TS]

  keep track of your purple space pen like [TS]

  we're not gonna just go get this thing [TS]

  because it's cute like to think of this [TS]

  more like adding a new member to the [TS]

  family like you know and I unfortunately [TS]

  for once in my entire life why don't I [TS]

  have to be right about this it has been [TS]

  very costly to have this animal it has [TS]

  been a huge pain in the ass [TS]

  we love the cat but it has been like we [TS]

  we got sold a bill of goods on this cat [TS]

  like she was sold to us as like oh you [TS]

  know she's 6 or 7 and she's fine we just [TS]

  had her checked out bullshit bullshit [TS]

  bullshit we have we are I don't want to [TS]

  tell you that we spent on this cat but [TS]

  we've had four teeth removed that's just [TS]

  one big cat has had an echocardiogram [TS]

  she's had heart work done she's had a [TS]

  lot done she we have to get her ears [TS]

  though the joke scooped out of her ears [TS]

  regularly your junk but I think um sir I [TS]

  think it's some kind of cardiogram I'll [TS]

  tell you these people bullshit and so [TS]

  they oh yeah we had her checked out and [TS]

  I'm like mmhmm yeah well you know the [TS]

  vet that just gave us this four figure [TS]

  bill a month after we got it would make [TS]

  me think maybe she wasn't quite so [TS]

  checked out six years old my ass this [TS]

  cats easily ten just do anything really [TS]

  yes [TS]

  but you go up her we yes we'd saw I've [TS]

  decided I love her the other two do love [TS]

  her very very much I like her a lot no I [TS]

  do I like she's fine but you know I [TS]

  think when you go into that you have to [TS]

  be prepared for the worst I hate to [TS]

  sound like some kind of like you know [TS]

  flyover state evangelical here but like [TS]

  life is precious and God in the Bible [TS]

  like you get the cat's get you know you [TS]

  don't go to war with the rustle that [TS]

  you'd like is this as the cat that you [TS]

  get you don't get upset yeah and so then [TS]

  you're absolutely this is part of our [TS]

  family this is we do what we need to do [TS]

  to take care of this we're giving this [TS]

  cat a good life we took it away from its [TS]

  lying owners that it had before and it [TS]

  doesn't get beat up by the other mean [TS]

  cat doesn't get it by me get beat up by [TS]

  mean cat anymore so you're saying that [TS]

  this cat is effectively like you bought [TS]

  a muff [TS]

  and the muff just sits and cost money [TS]

  yes imagine you got look a very costly [TS]

  muff that has to have teeth removed [TS]

  every once in a while and then [TS]

  occasionally just the 3:00 in the [TS]

  morning for no reason it goes after 13 [TS]

  times I've counted I think that that's [TS]

  actually the signal that a nuclear war [TS]

  is imminent [TS]

  it's a CAC silent or nuclear nucular [TS]

  killer but you joke I was a good class [TS]

  good joke but she my daughter has a [TS]

  National Geographic book she got all the [TS]

  library at school about cats so now [TS]

  she's schooling me on a lot of things [TS]

  she says the reason that Savi grinds her [TS]

  teeth is cuz she hangs has anxiety and [TS]

  the reason that she's she's lonely at [TS]

  night and she wants people to hang out [TS]

  that's why she me I was at night she's [TS]

  lonely yeah she's got a lot of a lot of [TS]

  scientific reasons oh and she's also she [TS]

  keeps rereading me the part about how [TS]

  you introduce a second cat to the house [TS]

  I said you know what I'm pretty good on [TS]

  that pretty good yes I know optic [TS]

  carrier it goes in the bathroom you [TS]

  close the door you have to treat them [TS]

  equitably that's all very interesting [TS]

  stuff so she knows about dark dark Vador [TS]

  but she's not begging for screen time [TS]

  nope she does she's never seen a dark [TS]

  Vador movie she just knows that dark [TS]

  Vador is cool she's gonna be I mean like [TS]

  my kid is pretty super deeply infused in [TS]

  popular culture but like I see like like [TS]

  today I was just not going went for the [TS]

  ukulele share out today you know those [TS]

  kids are doing their pokemon cards [TS]

  everybody's wearing Minecraft sure it's [TS]

  like she's got to be surrounded by kids [TS]

  who are getting much more of that stuff [TS]

  than she is I'm guessing she is saying [TS]

  she doesn't feel left out it sounds like [TS]

  well her perception is and I this is a [TS]

  perception that she has derived from [TS]

  from school entirely I have never [TS]

  influenced this at all if in fact I've [TS]

  worked to influence it in the opposite [TS]

  direction but she feels like Pokemon and [TS]

  minecraft and a lot of these sort of [TS]

  consumer like games and toys that are [TS]

  based on buying something or interacting [TS]

  with the machine or in [TS]

  other way collecting things that those [TS]

  are boy games Oh interesting okay and [TS]

  she's interested in like pokemons as a [TS]

  concept yeah as I as like a character [TS]

  that has a narrative but when you think [TS]

  about it those things don't really have [TS]

  a narrative there's not exactly a [TS]

  Pokemon narrative it's just like collect [TS]

  them all yeah they all have backstories [TS]

  but it's not like there's a it's not [TS]

  like they're participating in a story [TS]

  and Minecraft is an extension of Legos [TS]

  and she's only now fully getting into [TS]

  Legos because before she would take the [TS]

  Legos and only put them together at the [TS]

  very minimum amount that she could start [TS]

  constructing a narrative around it oh [TS]

  that's oh she's super interesting yeah [TS]

  she put three Legos together and she'd [TS]

  be like this is the house and then she'd [TS]

  put another Lego on top of another Lego [TS]

  and she'd say this is the car Wow [TS]

  and I was like well hey why don't we [TS]

  build you know like we could actually [TS]

  build a house that has rooms and she's [TS]

  like I don't think you heard me this is [TS]

  the house and I'm like I cannot [TS]

  interrupt you you know like by all means [TS]

  so only now is she starting to actually [TS]

  build structures where she's like this [TS]

  is the garage and this is the bedroom [TS]

  and so forth and so minecraft isn't a [TS]

  thing that she has sought because like [TS]

  Legos themselves are still just part of [TS]

  like her building a narrative and so for [TS]

  her the only interesting toys and and [TS]

  like things are ones that she can adopt [TS]

  or she can either adopt into a narrative [TS]

  that she's constructing or she can build [TS]

  a narrative around them right and little [TS]

  things and gizmos and I think she I [TS]

  think movies even for her and this is [TS]

  you know honestly this is how my mind [TS]

  works too like consuming media has [TS]

  always been a problem for me based on I [TS]

  think the idea of like well why would I [TS]

  want to watch somebody else's [TS]

  imagination bland yeah that makes sense [TS]

  you know why wouldn't I just follow my [TS]

  own imagine [TS]

  I can make a movie in my head why would [TS]

  I want to go watch somebody else's money [TS]

  absolutely and so her I think she's [TS]

  doing I mean you know she's pretty much [TS]

  like you know because now she's at an [TS]

  age where I can say well if she comes [TS]

  out and she's like and I can say you [TS]

  know what here's an idea why don't we go [TS]

  to our rooms mm-hmm I'll go to my room [TS]

  and you're gonna go to your room and you [TS]

  can play and I'll play and then later on [TS]

  we'll come play cuz the way she wants to [TS]

  play with me is she wants to play confu [TS]

  which is conf you is jump on daddy and [TS]

  try to kick him in the balls [TS]

  okay okay that's the that's that's [TS]

  outcome that's how conflict food works [TS]

  and so daddy doesn't always want to play [TS]

  conflict [TS]

  no cuz daddy gets injured in confu and [TS]

  you know Jen she's six and a half I [TS]

  can't really fight back yeah you know so [TS]

  I just get beat up uh so but uh all by [TS]

  way of saying everything that she's [TS]

  interested in is narrative play and [TS]

  there's not a ton of not even the ton of [TS]

  like what I used to play which was like [TS]

  war like mine area narrative play with [TS]

  other kids was always like you are the [TS]

  bad guys and I am the good guy or vice [TS]

  versa [TS]

  does she have allies that will play like [TS]

  that at school with her yeah but it's a [TS]

  constant you know it's a constant thing [TS]

  where I think the other little girls [TS]

  also feel like they don't want Marlo to [TS]

  just establish what the narration is oh [TS]

  that's that's so that's a constant [TS]

  battle I mean that's really the basis of [TS]

  what makes place so interesting as an [TS]

  observer is how much negotiation is [TS]

  going on about what the terms of this [TS]

  play are yep yep and her little friends [TS]

  sometimes become you know she's got a [TS]

  little group where she says well my [TS]

  friends are Adan ate and ate and ate but [TS]

  Hayden is not my friend and I go why is [TS]

  Aiden not your friend well because Aiden [TS]

  is mean but then two days later she's [TS]

  like well I was playing with Aiden and [TS]

  I'm like oh you're friends with Aiden [TS]

  now Oh [TS]

  Aiden's the best oh yeah [TS]

  those alliances shift very quickly they [TS]

  do and I think that I think it's a lot [TS]

  to do with who is currently resisting [TS]

  her like implementation of a narrative [TS]

  and who is currently like yeah okay I'll [TS]

  be the I'll be the fireman and you be [TS]

  the dog uh but she's got she's got you [TS]

  know her little boyfriend is Graham okay [TS]

  so yeah and she says Graham is her [TS]

  boyfriend and I really approve because I [TS]

  think Graham is beautiful I think he's [TS]

  beautiful I think he's a beautiful boy [TS]

  he's beautiful looking and he's [TS]

  beautiful he's just wonderful inside [TS]

  he's a very sensitive young person who [TS]

  has a lot of connection to his feelings [TS]

  oh that's a nice influence it's nice the [TS]

  first time I met him it was in a group [TS]

  of little boys and I was going around [TS]

  and I was like okay you're eight and [TS]

  then you're aid great and then it came [TS]

  to Graham and he held out his hand and [TS]

  some little boy in the group said call [TS]

  him graham cracker hmm and Graham looked [TS]

  me in the eye and he said please don't [TS]

  call me graham cracker [TS]

  I said Graham you are guaranteed that I [TS]

  will never ever ever call you graham [TS]

  cracker and he was like mm-hmm and so he [TS]

  and she decided a long time ago that [TS]

  they were boyfriend and girlfriend and [TS]

  they both agreed to it and it does not [TS]

  seem to have that doesn't seem to change [TS]

  it that Alliance never breaks and she [TS]

  will say things like well you know [TS]

  Graham does like to play pokemon and war [TS]

  and that's fine but Graham is Superman [TS]

  and I am Supergirl when it's time to [TS]

  play superheroes and I just so she said [TS]

  we already reached the level of somebody [TS]

  who's been married for 15 years she's [TS]

  reached a level of accommodation like as [TS]

  long as he's still going to be Superman [TS]

  to me he can go out run off and do his [TS]

  war right and he will occasionally and I [TS]

  get the feeling maybe a little bit [TS]

  against his will but he [TS]

  accommodates her by sometimes being the [TS]

  dad or the dog or whatever she decides [TS]

  he is in her own narration and what's [TS]

  the martial arts thing you to do they [TS]

  don't do contraband sir okay good good [TS]

  but I don't get the sense that any of [TS]

  the Ayden's will are interested at all [TS]

  in her narrative play you know if if [TS]

  she's like you're the dog they say I'm [TS]

  the dark Vador dog hmm and she's like [TS]

  that's not what I'm that's not the game [TS]

  and they're like see ya uh-huh and they [TS]

  swing off on their little boy vines and [TS]

  and kick each other so anyway I so I [TS]

  feel like you know like when she's when [TS]

  she's 30 I hope she still I hope gram is [TS]

  still around because I think he's great [TS]

  and I think I like Graham's parents see [TS]

  that we talked about this a few episodes [TS]

  ago probably back in November but I'm [TS]

  often wanting to set things up where I'm [TS]

  really hoping like boy with her she [TS]

  seems pretty cool that's a pretty cool [TS]

  little kid she looks in the eye and [TS]

  shakes your hand huh uh-huh uh-huh and [TS]

  sometimes you try and force that in [TS]

  there and they're like not really into [TS]

  it get it on the wrong day yeah mm-hmm [TS]

  yeah [TS]

  the one thing currently because we just [TS]

  went to play yesterday at someone's [TS]

  house she'd never played that before and [TS]

  I said she said I made a new friend and [TS]

  I said oh who's your new friend and it [TS]

  was like Aiden except Aidan's all the [TS]

  way down it's aaden's all the way down [TS]

  and this is girl late okay I said oh [TS]

  where did you meet her and she said oh [TS]

  she's in my class and I said what do you [TS]

  mean you made a new friend there's only [TS]

  20 people in your class didn't you play [TS]

  with us and she said no I never really [TS]

  played with her and my daughter still [TS]

  doesn't know the name of everybody in [TS]

  her class yeah isn't that crazy I [TS]

  thought it was just heard like I mean I [TS]

  know I'm bad with names but damn when I [TS]

  was 10 I knew everybody I knew the name [TS]

  of every person in my grade well I feel [TS]

  like I know every kid in her class [TS]

  yeah but she's like no I never just and [TS]

  I said and so I'm curious about [TS]

  alliances and I said well who are [TS]

  Aidan's friends and she said oh she kind [TS]

  of plays with Aiden and Aiden yeah but [TS]

  not the other Aiden but not the other [TS]

  Aiden and not with me and I said who are [TS]

  the friends who cross the border and she [TS]

  said oh well Mila but Mila plays with [TS]

  everybody okay and and I swear to you I [TS]

  love Mila too [TS]

  I mean a compliment though Mila no no no [TS]

  Mila is the ultimate peacemaking because [TS]

  the thing is everybody wants to play [TS]

  with Mila because she's fascinating so [TS]

  she could be like a dog or a nurse or a [TS]

  horse or a chair she could be whatever [TS]

  whatever's needed for the play situation [TS]

  whatever but she also is someone who if [TS]

  she decides that she's gonna skip two [TS]

  rings on the Rings huh she will do it [TS]

  until her hands are bleeding oh I like [TS]

  Mila she's fantastic and she's just like [TS]

  and I like Milla's parents too but Mila [TS]

  is one where if a kid is crying Mila [TS]

  will go find out what's wrong and will [TS]

  comfort the child and she'll skip rings [TS]

  she's gonna skip to range is a utility [TS]

  player Wow one and everybody uh you know [TS]

  when Milla's trying to skip two rings [TS]

  there's a crowd because they want to see [TS]

  it they want to see it to open ocean [TS]

  star situation but also lately Mila has [TS]

  been experiencing some separation [TS]

  anxiety when her mom leaves the school [TS]

  in the morning oh no and I saw this [TS]

  fantastic thing the other day which was [TS]

  that it was time for me Ella's mom to [TS]

  leave and you know Mia's mom does the [TS]

  thing where she hangs around whereas you [TS]

  know I would say the first time it [TS]

  happened I'd be like well that's the way [TS]

  the cookie crumbles but you know Milla's [TS]

  mom is like how well I don't want to [TS]

  leave either but so Mila was having a [TS]

  little separation anxiety and all the [TS]

  kids huddled around her and like petted [TS]

  her hair and whispered to her and told [TS]

  her it was fine and this is not a thing [TS]

  that would have happened in my school [TS]

  when I was a kid and they're just like [TS]

  so caring of one another so that photo I [TS]

  sent you at ukulele Shara [TS]

  that's Ellie on the right that's a [TS]

  friend of hers on our left who just got [TS]

  over chicken pox supporter think she was [TS]

  out for a week she's very much that kid [TS]

  the girl in like a pinkish like [TS]

  sweatshirt so yeah you know you [TS]

  recognize Ellie on the right so that's a [TS]

  really good friend of hers who's exactly [TS]

  like that like she will not only it's [TS]

  not like she walks up and goes are you [TS]

  okay like she will walk up to a little [TS]

  kid and speak quietly to the little kid [TS]

  and I try to comfort and soothe the kid [TS]

  on their own terms [TS]

  she's a genuinely high quality child I [TS]

  think that stuff is just lovely and and [TS]

  it's right so we're we're at this plate [TS]

  how many boys you know that do that well [TS]

  you know I'm a graham cracker but yeah [TS]

  grandma do it can we do it mm-hmm [TS]

  but so we're at a playdate yesterday [TS]

  with her new friend who's been in her [TS]

  school for two years and is in her class [TS]

  in the girl aid yeah yeah and I'm like [TS]

  tell me more about her and she's like [TS]

  well you know she's got little brother [TS]

  and we had we drew rainbows and that we [TS]

  drew rainbows and unicorns and I'm like [TS]

  sweetie I don't you know like I don't [TS]

  want to be the one to tell you but I [TS]

  have to yeah that's a pig that's a [TS]

  Pegasus and she said it's a unicorn and [TS]

  I said sweetie it doesn't have a horn it [TS]

  has wings and she said it's a unicorn [TS]

  and I was like unicorn it is but I'm but [TS]

  I'm not gonna budge on this baby that's [TS]

  a Pegasus but I guess they talked about [TS]

  unicorns a lot and they do not talk [TS]

  about pegasi oh no no no no no you don't [TS]

  you're not gonna hear about our chimera [TS]

  or a Manticore and or any of that stuff [TS]

  I feel like I'm gonna have to give her [TS]

  the Monster Manual I gave her a book [TS]

  about she's very into old stuff ancient [TS]

  stuff I gave her and I thought it wasn't [TS]

  a bull fynch's but i got her an [TS]

  illustrated mythology book that I was [TS]

  kind of hoping she'd get a bite on but [TS]

  she hasn't been in yet I do that a lot I [TS]

  sneak books in yes I have about 1 4 5 on [TS]

  sneaking books in but I think we'd get [TS]

  her too many books she reads a lot of [TS]

  books but we probably get her too many [TS]

  she does have stuff she doesn't read but [TS]

  yeah I do try to sneak those in Lord of [TS]

  the Rings took Hobbit took the [TS]

  I still have not read either of those [TS]

  books but they read it together they've [TS]

  read every Harry Potter book together [TS]

  she's read all a series of unfortunate [TS]

  events yeah I kept trying just got [TS]

  Beatrix Potter I kept trying to get into [TS]

  her shelf and she just wasn't into it [TS]

  but I did start reading her Rudyard [TS]

  Kipling just so store really are this he [TS]

  could well so I just changed the [TS]

  problematic parts okay and the thing is [TS]

  that she can read [TS]

  so she's reading over my shoulder but [TS]

  she doesn't correct me when I you know [TS]

  when I take out the you know whatever he [TS]

  had like his little stuff where he's [TS]

  like and then the little jigaboo [TS]

  guessing there are there are a couple of [TS]

  stories which are just deeply [TS]

  problematic from the beginning which are [TS]

  his sort of white man's burden stories [TS]

  [Music] [TS]

  you're taking care of you yeah yeah he's [TS]

  got he's got he's got a couple but I [TS]

  grew up having those stories read to me [TS]

  because as you know I was raised by [TS]

  Victorians and so like the things that I [TS]

  had all the all the books that were on [TS]

  my shelves as a kid all had swastikas on [TS]

  them because they were all they were all [TS]

  published in 1895 the kind yeah that [TS]

  conveyed it was an emblem that conveyed [TS]

  exotic you know like Orientalism rather [TS]

  than his pre pre nazi backward swastikas [TS]

  but so I were I was read all that stuff [TS]

  you know how the how the rhinoceros got [TS]

  its plates and the cat that walked by [TS]

  it's wild lone and and so I could not [TS]

  not read those things to her I just have [TS]

  to take out yeah it's just like taking [TS]

  the the like the Belgian Congo issues of [TS]

  Tintin out of the shelves [TS]

  and anyone where Tintin interacts with [TS]

  anyone from Asia [TS]

  oh we just have to know the movie I've [TS]

  never read the the comics we have all [TS]

  the books when I was when I was a kid he [TS]

  does that's in fact we have a we have a [TS]

  giant poster on her wall of Tintin going [TS]

  to the moon and but the but it's a copy [TS]

  of the the the Belgian cover so it's in [TS]

  French because when I was a kid I had [TS]

  the Tintin books but they were all in [TS]

  French and so I couldn't hand heads [TS]

  tickets I couldn't because I inherited [TS]

  them from my great uncle al who and we [TS]

  and I called him a bird a bird yeah a [TS]

  bird ever would sit me on his knee and [TS]

  he would tell me stories of World War [TS]

  one when I was little and a bird ever [TS]

  was already an old man and so didn't [TS]

  always know what the appropriate stories [TS]

  to tell about World War one were but he [TS]

  was yes you know a junior officer in the [TS]

  American Expeditionary Force and he had [TS]

  lots of tales of being in France and all [TS]

  the can-can girls and then occasionally [TS]

  he had to throw some grenades or they [TS]

  came from India and and he had all the [TS]

  Tintin books in that were from Belgium [TS]

  that were all in French and I was given [TS]

  access to them but but it was all like I [TS]

  had to piece together the stories and we [TS]

  give her the Tintin books in English but [TS]

  we definitely call the ones that are [TS]

  like Tintin goes to China and they're [TS]

  all you know like little coolies that [TS]

  are like oh it's just like no [TS]

  yeah no I can't sorry but most of them [TS]

  like she's going to the moon I mean [TS]

  Captain Haddock is a drunk Oh in the [TS]

  movie yeah he's he's real he's a real [TS]

  dangerous character well and even in the [TS]

  I mean even more so in the books he's [TS]

  like always hiding liquor bottles in in [TS]

  hollowed-out Bibles and stuff and when I [TS]

  read the books to her you know I'm [TS]

  always reading haddock is like in the [TS]

  movie not surprised really yeah but how [TS]

  do you how do you deal with like got a [TS]

  plow through it and other times if it if [TS]

  it's something that's really just gross [TS]

  and unnecessarily unuseful ii unmerited [TS]

  ly useful just racist bullshit you gotta [TS]

  just cut it out but sometimes okay so [TS]

  one of our goats used my wife whom we've [TS]

  met it she is generally the reader at [TS]

  night [TS]

  I'm the reader at other times but when [TS]

  we do read I probably should read to her [TS]

  more at this time but that's that's [TS]

  their time but um [TS]

  I don't know how quite this started but [TS]

  I was remembering stories from a a [TS]

  child's humor book was Bennett's serfs [TS]

  house of laughter it was just it was [TS]

  edited by Bennett Cerf but it's just a [TS]

  bunch of humor stories that include one [TS]

  by James Thurber called the night the [TS]

  bed fell and I ended up going to iBooks [TS]

  and buying this giant collection of [TS]

  Thurber short fiction and we've read all [TS]

  of what's this buts I figure what the [TS]

  name of it is but the ones all his [TS]

  recollections of being a child and young [TS]

  person in Columbus Ohio you've read the [TS]

  night the bed fell no but like here's an [TS]

  example of do you mind if I just read [TS]

  you like you don't want to cut this [TS]

  house it happened in that my father this [TS]

  is the second paragraph of the story it [TS]

  happened then that my father had decided [TS]

  to sleep in the Attic one night and this [TS]

  is how I read it [TS]

  like very breezily I'm walking around [TS]

  and reading it happened that my father [TS]

  decided to sleep in the Attic one night [TS]

  to be a way where he could think my [TS]

  mother opposed the notion strongly [TS]

  because she said the old wooden bed up [TS]

  there was unsafe it was wobbly and the [TS]

  heavy headboard would crash down on [TS]

  father's head in case the bed fell and [TS]

  kill him there was no aiding him however [TS]

  and at a quarter past 10 he closed the [TS]

  attic door behind him and went up the [TS]

  narrow twisting stairs we later hurt [TS]

  ominous creaking says he crawled into [TS]

  bed grandpa [TS]

  who usually slept in the attic bed when [TS]

  he was with us had disappeared some days [TS]

  before on these occasions he was usually [TS]

  gone six or eight days and returned [TS]

  growling and out of temper with the news [TS]

  of the federal union was run by a passel [TS]

  of Blockheads in that the Army of the [TS]

  Potomac didn't have any more chance than [TS]

  a Fiddler's bitch any more chance that a [TS]

  Fiddler's bitch then he's right about [TS]

  the Army of the Potomac oh he's a [TS]

  character that keeps coming up [TS]

  grandfather is I don't know what does [TS]

  one say he's delusional and he thinks [TS]

  it's still the war anyway these kinds of [TS]

  things are so fun now there's one it's a [TS]

  wonderful story but it's the one that I [TS]

  have the most like I'm not so sure about [TS]

  this I thought it's a call there's [TS]

  someone with all the maids in it a [TS]

  sequence of servants is very funny when [TS]

  I look back on one list of servants my [TS]

  mother hired during the years I lived at [TS]

  home I remember clearly 10 or 12 of them [TS]

  and it's all these as you know and he's [TS]

  doing black maids in a black maid voice [TS]

  and I struggle with how to do it because [TS]

  and so I generally try to steer away [TS]

  from this particular one but the one [TS]

  about the flood the flood that never [TS]

  happened when the dam broke but it [TS]

  hadn't actually broken [TS]

  it's just I'm sorry I'm know why I'm [TS]

  going off I'm just sharing this I check [TS]

  out James Thurber it's very funny one [TS]

  kid because the language is so musical [TS]

  and he's he's such a I don't know I just [TS]

  love his style I I crave stuff like that [TS]

  and I don't I feel like a lot of the a [TS]

  lot of the material that's written for [TS]

  kids today are kind of like the cartoons [TS]

  no I'm not talking about like Adventure [TS]

  Time but like the the mainstream [TS]

  cartoons that are made that that seem [TS]

  like mostly they're designed to sell [TS]

  figures figurines I feel like there is a [TS]

  decided lack of actual material in them [TS]

  there's a lot of talking a lot of vast [TS]

  talking and people are like oh my god [TS]

  here she comes [TS]

  what is she doing these are the story [TS]

  beats are pretty simple and plain super [TS]

  plain yeah but there's so much Noah [TS]

  so much strim and wrong about like stuff [TS]

  like gumball and Teen Titans go and [TS]

  there's just screaming it's just a huge [TS]

  part of every episode there's there's [TS]

  lots of screaming yeah and and I have [TS]

  always felt like look we want we want [TS]

  stories not just not just characters [TS]

  with unnaturally large heads and eyes [TS]

  who are screaming at ease you know what [TS]

  Bratz dolls I don't at all I don't love [TS]

  anymore I don't [TS]

  I do not prefer it I do not want the [TS]

  Bratz dolls even to be in her mind [TS]

  I know because like they're little [TS]

  they're dolls for children that are [TS]

  wearing garter belts yeah so so I do [TS]

  keep coming back to these stories of old [TS]

  wear you know but in the stories of old [TS]

  like children's stories from when I was [TS]

  growing up it's like and then the dog [TS]

  died and the worms ate him it's like wow [TS]

  that's I don't remember it being so hard [TS]

  like so I remember crying it where the [TS]

  Red Fern Grows era like watership down a [TS]

  Old Yeller Yeller killed me there's a [TS]

  lot of sad stories for little kids and [TS]

  she I am I've never showed her Bambi [TS]

  because she still covers her eyes when [TS]

  people yell at each other I don't and [TS]

  she's the thing is she's aware of Bambi [TS]

  she's asked me what happened to Bambi's [TS]

  mom yeah I'm like what happened to [TS]

  Bambi's mom what are we where did this [TS]

  come from and I feel like she's either [TS]

  she's heard about Bambi's mom or maybe [TS]

  she was at some friends house and she [TS]

  saw some Bambi but she's like what [TS]

  happened to Bambi's mom and I'm like uh [TS]

  Bambi's mom died she's like how did [TS]

  Bambi's mom died and I say mom died and [TS]

  she died in a fire [TS]

  sweetheart yeah it's pretty bad she was [TS]

  a game deer and you know she didn't want [TS]

  to watch Dumbo because there's so I said [TS]

  the trunk coming through the oh that's [TS]

  rough believe you me [TS]

  so I'm and I often start to read a story [TS]

  to her and then about 3/4 of the way [TS]

  through I'm like oh no we've been [TS]

  leading up to a tragedy that I had [TS]

  forgotten and I'm bumbling along like up [TS]

  but he died and then though then the [TS]

  little bugs went into oh dear they went [TS]

  into them to the furnace so but I want [TS]

  you to tell me yeah I want you to give [TS]

  me some advice I'm I she's very [TS]

  interested in the Harry Potter universe [TS]

  and I want to start reading her Harry [TS]

  Potter's is that acceptable for a [TS]

  seven-year-old and do I start at the [TS]

  start the second part is absolutely just [TS]

  because they it's much lighter they're [TS]

  11 years old in the first one and it's [TS]

  much it gets pretty heavy after the [TS]

  release kind of but definitely starting [TS]

  with the third book it gets the stakes [TS]

  get a lot higher and it gets a lot [TS]

  creepier and by the end it is it is well [TS]

  and truly like very scary well I would [TS]

  suggest I know you've read some did you [TS]

  read it in the hold of a ship at some [TS]

  point didn't you read some I read all of [TS]

  the Harry Potter books that were extant [TS]

  in 2008 a what I would say is for [TS]

  yourself just go and get Philosopher's [TS]

  get Sorcerer's Stone and read the first [TS]

  chapter to to yourself and see what you [TS]

  think about it but it's really quite [TS]

  good and great to read with a kid I mean [TS]

  I'm saying something that's so silly [TS]

  it's like saying well I don't know you [TS]

  think my look my curious kid who likes [TS]

  to build things will like Legos I'm like [TS]

  [Music] [TS]

  it's a no it's really it's really I mean [TS]

  it gets the plot it's that it gets [TS]

  because it actually is really good and [TS]

  funny and pretty great for a kid and [TS]

  like I say this the world-building and [TS]

  the first one is so fun it's you know [TS]

  it's not a short book but like you'll [TS]

  know by the end if she's gonna be into [TS]

  this though actually you might know in [TS]

  the first chapter by the time they get [TS]

  to Hogwarts like the world-building is [TS]

  pretty terrific I mean just just even [TS]

  like getting to the train platform and [TS]

  all that and Hagrid in London and all [TS]

  that it's it's so fun [TS]

  i I think my short advice is going you [TS]

  personally maybe out loud to yourself [TS]

  when no in his home start reading the [TS]

  first chapter at CC if you like it but [TS]

  also there's anything there that really [TS]

  curls your hair [TS]

  I think she's seven yeah [TS]

  well six and a half six and [TS]

  three-quarters you know it's up to [TS]

  judgment but like I imagine you'd be [TS]

  fine yeah I may be I worry about the [TS]

  most is that when I was young you know I [TS]

  was born on Friday the 13th oh boy and [TS]

  when I was a kid [TS]

  other kids ascribed to me magic [TS]

  I was I was thought of as a little bit [TS]

  of a like a kid sorcerer which I loved [TS]

  mm-hmm and it wasn't a thing that I [TS]

  encouraged it was like it was I was born [TS]

  on Friday the 13th and then there's [TS]

  something about me that seems like maybe [TS]

  a kind of young magic user but as I grew [TS]

  older I started to think of myself as [TS]

  actually being some kind of magic orb I [TS]

  thought about it all the time and it was [TS]

  it was for sure I don't think it was a [TS]

  problem but it did occupy a lot of my [TS]

  imagination and there was always a tinge [TS]

  of disappointment to it that I wasn't [TS]

  actually magic that I couldn't actually [TS]

  like create spooky action at a distance [TS]

  doesn't land on you in one day it lists [TS]

  begin I doubt still somehow some you're [TS]

  weighing doubt versus hope that there is [TS]

  still something here in my case that I [TS]

  could like move something or like Rita [TS]

  my and or something like that you're [TS]

  still right like maybe is there evidence [TS]

  to show the next car that comes along [TS]

  will be blue like got that one right [TS]

  like there's I might be better than I [TS]

  realize and for sure it feels like a [TS]

  thing Oh [TS]

  maybe it's like puberty yes I'll just [TS]

  with the x-men that's when mutants [TS]

  mostly discovered their curse or ability [TS]

  depending on how you look at it and yeah [TS]

  and that's kind of I think maybe what my [TS]

  what my feeling what when I was [TS]

  introduced to x-men where there was a [TS]

  little bit of bitterness about it where [TS]

  I was like oh yeah great sure so you can [TS]

  kill people with your cold hands but I [TS]

  can't even conjure an orb which seems [TS]

  like small so little yeah yeah I want to [TS]

  kill anybody no I just want to like I [TS]

  just want to make some firewood like [TS]

  something round to appear where it [TS]

  wasn't before is that too much to ask [TS]

  hold out my hand I would sit and do it [TS]

  hold out my hand bro come on come on out [TS]

  there like imagine in this area between [TS]

  my two hands like this this is where [TS]

  will appear I can almost feel it little [TS]

  fucking orb is all I'm asking all I'm [TS]

  asking hmm and so I don't know if I want [TS]

  to introduce to her the idea that there [TS]

  are magic kids and non magic kids and [TS]

  the non magic kids are sucky like [TS]

  muggles and the magic kids are magic and [TS]

  they can fly on brooms and they can [TS]

  conjure orbs because it's just because I [TS]

  remember feeling disappointment about it [TS]

  and that wasn't even that wasn't even we [TS]

  didn't even have a Harry Potter I was [TS]

  just making that disappointment up in my [TS]

  own head because by the 13th me there's [TS]

  so many ugly ugly racist terms in Harry [TS]

  Potter you you know my blood you know [TS]

  one that's awful is if you're if you're [TS]

  the child well you could be a grown-up [TS]

  now but you're at least one or possibly [TS]

  both of your parents [TS]

  we're wizards but you're not you know [TS]

  you should called Oh No squib oh it's [TS]

  not sad you can have wizard parents and [TS]

  not inherit wizard ISM yeah well so like [TS]

  in the case of Harry both of his parents [TS]

  were wizards both Harry and Laura was [TS]

  his father's name but lily and don't [TS]

  email me but they were both I think his [TS]

  name is Scott I think it's father's name [TS]

  is Scott anyway uh both of Harry's [TS]

  parents were difficult drive me crazy [TS]

  now we're wizards her mayan [TS]

  only one of her parents was a wizard so [TS]

  she's called a mudblood James James [TS]

  Potter cut that out James and James and [TS]

  Lily Potter and then so mudblood is what [TS]

  is what a terrible slithering kid what's [TS]

  his name Draco Malfoy but then you got [TS]

  somebody get these characters you got [TS]

  like Filch like the guy who like works [TS]

  that wonderful British actor who plays [TS]

  like the the character janitor at [TS]

  Hogwarts he's a squid hmm [TS]

  squid a squid you can still be in the [TS]

  community but I was like squid these are [TS]

  tough words Argus Filch known as he's [TS]

  known as a squib mmm-hmm these are tough [TS]

  tough words I mean I this is what I [TS]

  worry about like I don't want to [TS]

  introduce all these like all this social [TS]

  hierarchy because she's developing yes [TS]

  social hierarchy on her own and I don't [TS]

  need it I don't need her to suddenly say [TS]

  that Nino is a squid mudblood yeah I [TS]

  totally agree I totally agree so I don't [TS]

  know it's tricky yeah I feel like you [TS]

  probably could wait another year but you [TS]

  know she's probably a little young but [TS]

  as long as you don't jump straight into [TS]

  like third fourth book that's when it [TS]

  gets creepy well and so what about The [TS]

  Hobbit I'm trying to remember there's a [TS]

  lot of scary shit there's the ogres [TS]

  there's the nazg├╗l you know I haven't [TS]

  read it they read it so they read it [TS]

  before Lord of the Rings I don't [TS]

  remember [TS]

  o wadar they're known as ghouls or nas [TS]

  ghouls or whatever they'll I know are [TS]

  they in The Hobbit or do they just [TS]

  appear in The Lord of the Rings there's [TS]

  a drag and there's there's Tom Bombadil [TS]

  Tom in the movies there's people that [TS]

  theories Bombadil I have a lot of [TS]

  theories about him I think it's a I [TS]

  think it's a freakin crime that he's not [TS]

  in the movies he's bad one [TS]

  I think he's the oldest okay I think [TS]

  he's like the oldest one [TS]

  oh he's pre ring I think so I think he's [TS]

  I think he's uh I think he's like he's [TS]

  super [TS]

  I learned that Wizards or angels I [TS]

  learned that from a video I don't that's [TS]

  not true you should watch CGP Grey has [TS]

  some very good videos about the Lord of [TS]

  the Rings mythos and it gave me a nice [TS]

  cheat sheet so that I could talk to my [TS]

  family now it's not like a total idiot I [TS]

  don't think that they're angels I reject [TS]

  that no is ring wraiths the nine the [TS]

  phone rings black riders none bold or [TS]

  Laurie the dreaded ring servant so so [TS]

  these are a lot like these are like who [TS]

  the guys who who guard Azkaban the [TS]

  Dementors they're a little like [TS]

  Dementors i don't know what that is you [TS]

  will what yeah you're gonna love this [TS]

  yeah but they're a matter race they were [TS]

  king they were kings of men who were [TS]

  blinded by the greed took without [TS]

  clothes right and then Sauron got inside [TS]

  their heads oh and we don't like look at [TS]

  him now Aragorn aragorn's not the guy [TS]

  from the matrix right that's no Aragorn [TS]

  Strider is Aragorn the guy that was [TS]

  married to Exene that goes if Viggo [TS]

  Mortensen is a who that is I don't [TS]

  accept that either I don't think there's [TS]

  part of the mythos yeah we used to be [TS]

  married Exene Cervenka steagle morton so [TS]

  he did yeah they were married until like [TS]

  relatively recently post John I know [TS]

  right [TS]

  Hugo Weaving is the guy from the matrix [TS]

  who plays an elfin man in this yep yep [TS]

  yep and I and I do support his name I [TS]

  don't know yeah miss Trudy mr. Anderson [TS]

  that's right yeah I suppose but I do not [TS]

  support I do not support the the [TS]

  daughter of the of the Aerosmith oh I [TS]

  know who you mean it's yeah yeah it's a [TS]

  Tyler since her name yeah I think new [TS]

  tires done I think Renee makes eilerson [TS]

  I think she's a nice lady I like this I [TS]

  like to see her but I do not believe [TS]

  that she should that was a shoes roll [TS]

  deflated ooh she was very good in that [TS]

  thing you do I didn't see them oh that's [TS]

  a good movie now what about Kate [TS]

  Blanchet you like her I do like clay [TS]

  Caitlin's [TS]

  getting that Thor movie - I want to see [TS]

  a whole movie about her like super super [TS]

  fucking scary cool elf lady I'd like to [TS]

  see her and who's the lady from Orlando [TS]

  that's in the train movie what's that [TS]

  woman's name what's her name [TS]