Roderick on the Line

Ep. 268: "A Principled Ohioan"


  [Music] [TS]

  hello daijaan hi Merlin how's it going [TS]

  [Music] [TS]

  about three days ago I got a pair of [TS]

  pants at a thrift store and they were [TS]

  called Adriano or Adriano gold Schmiedt [TS]

  and I had never heard the name Adriano [TS]

  gold Schmiedt and I thought I thought me [TS]

  that's a pretty cool name [TS]

  mm-hmm and that you know the pants were [TS]

  like three dollars or something so I was [TS]

  like yeah you know that's cool Oh get [TS]

  him let's stand up scale well I did that [TS]

  thing where I was like I got a I gotta [TS]

  figure out what Adriano Goldschmidt is [TS]

  and and normally before I buy something [TS]

  like that I've looked it up right there [TS]

  mm-hmm oh that's smart and so did you [TS]

  you don't rep the wrong thing no you [TS]

  don't want to get so you don't want to [TS]

  get something that looks fancy that's [TS]

  fake fancy and you don't want to get [TS]

  something that is like I'm just gonna [TS]

  wear these around the house your company [TS]

  and your product I think there's very [TS]

  few even customs or laws the concern [TS]

  that I think you can name it whatever [TS]

  you want [TS]

  yeah you could you could say fanciest [TS]

  giant somebody yeah exactly right yeah [TS]

  be it's AG Adriano gold Schmiedt Inc [TS]

  right but I so I had him in my arms at [TS]

  the thrift store and I was like Adriana [TS]

  Goldschmidt Autry on a gold meet and [TS]

  because I wanted to look it up but I was [TS]

  you know I was like I'll do that in a [TS]

  second because I was yeah halfway [TS]

  through searching for a rack or [TS]

  something [TS]

  and then I went over to the thing and I [TS]

  wandering around the store and then I [TS]

  was like what was I gonna do [TS]

  oh right Adriano gone I looked at the [TS]

  pants again to remember the name [TS]

  Jan Goldsmith Audrianna gold Reid and [TS]

  then for whatever reason something else [TS]

  has so the person said something to me [TS]

  anyway I bought the pants having not [TS]

  looked up Audrey on her Goldschmidt but [TS]

  as I was walking out of the store I was [TS]

  like oh right I want to look up what [TS]

  these are for three bucks you know geez [TS]

  so in the dungarees yeah they're like [TS]

  black soft jeans okay so I looked at it [TS]

  I looked at it begin Audriana colt sweet [TS]

  right I'll you know as soon as I get to [TS]

  my truck I'm gonna sit there and look it [TS]

  up before I you know while the trucks [TS]

  were warming up somehow I didn't do that [TS]

  so when I got home and I was unloading [TS]

  the groceries and stuff and I and I kept [TS]

  the little thrift store package and I'm [TS]

  like all right right right right and I [TS]

  look at the pants Audrianna cold sweet [TS]

  right as soon as I get in the house I'm [TS]

  gonna look it up anyway for the last [TS]

  three days I have looked at the jeans [TS]

  and I have memorized the name Audria of [TS]

  Goldschmidt Anna gold Smith and I've [TS]

  repeated it to myself like five six [TS]

  times like a mantra and then each time [TS]

  it's like the name hypnotizes me or [TS]

  somehow it's like an incantation [TS]

  so almost like I like a spell like a [TS]

  spell and and if I say it five times I [TS]

  will I will forget to look it up it's [TS]

  like a spell about itself oh it's doing [TS]

  like a like a mine white thing yeah so [TS]

  I've done a goldsmith Audrianna gold to [TS]

  meet and then it's it's well there may [TS]

  be more to it but it appears that at [TS]

  least one performance characteristic of [TS]

  this incantation is that as soon as you [TS]

  say the words you forget the words and [TS]

  that you said them yeah right I have to [TS]

  then remember oh right I was gonna look [TS]

  up with those jeans what were those [TS]

  jeans again with no I don't I don't [TS]

  retain Adriano [TS]

  I don't retain gold Schmiedt I retained [TS]

  nothing not even the initials so on my [TS]

  way in here to sit down I was like right [TS]

  right right [TS]

  Adriano Gold's made I mean I I pulled [TS]

  them out of the washing machine to look [TS]

  at the name on them and then I was like [TS]

  you know they're my new jeans I'll just [TS]

  put him on and I put them on I'm wearing [TS]

  them [TS]

  right now oh wow like debut and as I was [TS]

  sitting down at the computer as we [TS]

  called I was like Audrey on a culture [TS]

  meet Audrey or gold mean but I'm already [TS]

  deciding that I don't like them I'm [TS]

  gonna give them back to the thirst [TS]

  oh what a journey well because they're [TS]

  not inexpensive if you go to your local [TS]

  Nordstrom and you pick these up you're [TS]

  gonna spend so you're gonna spend some [TS]

  money the thing is that it it's very [TS]

  very very rarely happens because usually [TS]

  I only buy things that are that are [TS]

  pretty unworn you know you don't want to [TS]

  just go buy somebody else's where it [TS]

  pays to be picky and bees as I sat down [TS]

  they didn't they don't smell bad they [TS]

  don't smell thrift story they just smell [TS]

  like somebody else oh I see I don't want [TS]

  to sit around and smell up somebody else [TS]

  can't imprint on them yeah so anyway [TS]

  what's the story with Audrey no gold [TS]

  tree did you look him up I looked on the [TS]

  internet science site [TS]

  Adrian Adriano Goldschmidt he's an [TS]

  Italian fashion designer who focuses on [TS]

  denim jeans known as The Godfather of [TS]

  denim and the originator of premium [TS]

  denim he created he created bezel replay [TS]

  gap 1969 and AG Adriano Gulch meet and [TS]

  is currently directing gold sign and [TS]

  men's citizens of humanity design and [TS]

  citizens he's kind of a kind of a kind [TS]

  of a big wheel yeah this is a pants [TS]

  baller created premium denim yeah [TS]

  premium denim yeah were you were you [TS]

  around for the for the transition to [TS]

  premium I mean I you know I was extant [TS]

  but it was not I just remember having [TS]

  one of those old man moments where you [TS]

  know you hear like oh you can buy these [TS]

  jeans now and they're $400 and I was [TS]

  like that seems like a lot of money for [TS]

  jeans pretty much makes that I feel like [TS]

  I feel like I'm aware that diesel is a [TS]

  brand from a time when jeans got costly [TS]

  and [TS]

  presumably fancy but the funny part is [TS]

  like you think about the 80s I mean not [TS]

  not to make this totally an old man [TS]

  thing but like when with the call of [TS]

  designer jeans got popular in the late [TS]

  70s kind of associated a little bit with [TS]

  the disco movement you get you're very [TS]

  tight you think you look at it you look [TS]

  for a band to go to Vanderbilt [TS]

  Jordache Georgia oh oh I my home in [TS]

  Seattle but I live in Britannia also the [TS]

  Jordache look oh yeah what were some [TS]

  other ones you got we're so dark [TS]

  okay clients nothing comes between me [TS]

  and my cow me and my Calvin's yeah [TS]

  that's right [TS]

  and and so then so in my head I you know [TS]

  it's funny $40 is such an interesting as [TS]

  they say price point like you know a or [TS]

  four four zero four zero dollars like if [TS]

  you watch if you're watching you're in a [TS]

  hotel room and you get regular TV on [TS]

  you'll notice how many things that you [TS]

  order off the TV regardless of how many [TS]

  you end up getting cuz of this special [TS]

  offer you call next hundred minutes as [TS]

  39.95 at that and and now when I was a [TS]

  youth two things were $40 two very [TS]

  important things a pair of like pretty [TS]

  good Nikes $40 $40 a pair of what they [TS]

  think all designer jeans that's $40 huh [TS]

  now and now in my household both of [TS]

  those that was that made it at like a [TS]

  vellum good like you've got to be [TS]

  kidding me like you could get these [TS]

  perfectly serviceable JCPenney shoes [TS]

  that are blue and orange and have the [TS]

  wrong number of stripes on it absolutely [TS]

  you get those for maybe eight eight or [TS]

  ten dollars ditto for a pair of Levi's [TS]

  that you pick up at Sears or tough skins [TS]

  right yeah I know I wouldn't wear tough [TS]

  skin cuz you're hot [TS]

  yeah I was too husky yeah and I've never [TS]

  been able to wear any kind of Wranglers [TS]

  or anything like that [TS]

  husky Huskies like the boy version of [TS]

  women oh it's available in women's sizes [TS]

  horrible code word like literally half [TS]

  of the population has [TS]

  their clothes is like your little bigger [TS]

  than we'd like well I get twelve let's [TS]

  go over to women's to Walker to walk [TS]

  around with the word husky around your [TS]

  neck was was really a Scarlet Letter I [TS]

  know but I I the the the original run of [TS]

  fashion jeans in the 70s and early 80s I [TS]

  didn't I obviously was too young to [TS]

  really participate in because yeah like [TS]

  you say $40 for appearances your style [TS]

  yeah but but the second wave of what I [TS]

  think here is being described as premium [TS]

  denim mm-hmm I was standing at Ground [TS]

  Zero of premium denim because my [TS]

  girlfriend at the time worked in the 90s [TS]

  at a store sort of pioneered this this [TS]

  this whole concept of thought technology [TS]

  was pioneered in Seattle which was and [TS]

  pioneered by like a specific couple of [TS]

  people which was go out to the Rocky [TS]

  Mountain States drive around oh yeah you [TS]

  talked about this yeah yeah you [TS]

  mentioned you did talk about just so you [TS]

  know you did talk about this your lady [TS]

  friend who would go off on journeys to [TS]

  try and find this she decided this would [TS]

  become her business she could go out and [TS]

  find some trousers that she could sell [TS]

  for a way above what she bought them for [TS]

  right now's her chance and so she worked [TS]

  at a storefront here in Seattle and the [TS]

  hole and this was later right after it [TS]

  wasn't so easy to just go find jeans [TS]

  lying around the whole point of the [TS]

  storefront was it was just like walk in [TS]

  the door there were four shelves maybe [TS]

  in the store and one of the shelves had [TS]

  a pair of original Air Jordans mm-hmm [TS]

  one of the shelves had a pair of [TS]

  original something you know is like [TS]

  there were four things for sale in the [TS]

  store it was not a store that you went [TS]

  to buy things and she was sitting behind [TS]

  the counter looking at a magazine and [TS]

  the point is you would walk in there and [TS]

  try and sell her your jeans and her job [TS]

  was to sit there and look at your jeans [TS]

  like no you're not the ones on you [TS]

  mmm-hmm [TS]

  like you'd walk in with an armload of [TS]

  jeans and go hey what do you think of [TS]

  these and then she would [TS]

  sneer at your genes and then you would [TS]

  walk out of there feeling bad and [TS]

  sometimes you would argue with her and [TS]

  she would just like look at her she'd go [TS]

  back to reading her that's like they're [TS]

  gonna fight with a frat boy that you [TS]

  just can't ya can are you with the girl [TS]

  whose sole job it is to mock your gene [TS]

  the most important part of her job is [TS]

  what she doesn't buy right and so she [TS]

  would sometimes somebody would walk in [TS]

  and say uh could I saw these jeans who [TS]

  would grandfathers and she'd be like [TS]

  those jeans and give you some amount of [TS]

  money I don't I was never like to 100% [TS]

  privy to how much you know money went [TS]

  back that's interesting but so she man [TS]

  he would have been bragging about it [TS]

  yeah well she's playing it close to the [TS]

  vest you know that this is the thing [TS]

  that was an era when thrift store [TS]

  Pickers I think I've told you about this [TS]

  we would go to thrift stores it way way [TS]

  out in the country and we'd be walking [TS]

  around and there'd be five other people [TS]

  in the store and they would all know [TS]

  each other and glare at each other and [TS]

  we'd be walking through the aisle and [TS]

  dadada and then you know somebody would [TS]

  be coming the other way with a shopping [TS]

  cart full of stuff and they would pass [TS]

  her and they'd be like hi Meegan mm-hmm [TS]

  and she'd go hi and it was like wow we [TS]

  are 80 miles out of Seattle like what [TS]

  are you people and she's just like oh my [TS]

  god that person is just the worst they [TS]

  run a little store somewhere in there [TS]

  you know grudging level of respect to it [TS]

  though or absolutely like it was he [TS]

  might be a little envious it's somebody [TS]

  somebody got got to the trousers first [TS]

  some of that but they all were very [TS]

  detailed about what they bought on what [TS]

  they liked and what their thing was [TS]

  right so Meegan would walk through and [TS]

  just she'd pick stuff out and be like oh [TS]

  yeah this is worth ninety dollars but [TS]

  gross huh and I never got into it right [TS]

  I did not [TS]

  that whole resale of things I just [TS]

  didn't have any interest in if it wasn't [TS]

  my size and if I wasn't gonna wear it [TS]

  personally I had no it's nice lifestyle [TS]

  job though cuz I think about my daughter [TS]

  who loves all these different brands of [TS]

  little crappy tiny plastic toys and [TS]

  each one when you get these crappy toys [TS]

  there's very many many varieties of [TS]

  these but they each come with like a [TS]

  sheet sort of like when you get tops [TS]

  baseball cards I'm going to show you [TS]

  like which which sometimes you get a [TS]

  card in there it's a meta card of what [TS]

  cards to collect and oh oh this [TS]

  particular little lip balm cover it [TS]

  looks like a hat is a is like a pretty [TS]

  normal one this one's like a super rare [TS]

  I was like well you seem to get a super [TS]

  rare every time we buy these are you [TS]

  sure that that's not super rare but that [TS]

  was your phone like you know how to get [TS]

  the right pokemons and whatnot and like [TS]

  you can find a way to turn those other [TS]

  people's pants into a business if you [TS]

  buy a tootsie roll with our tootsie roll [TS]

  pop with an Indian on it shooting an [TS]

  arrow at a star you get a free one I've [TS]

  heard that or something no roll pop huh [TS]

  I used to collect those wrappers because [TS]

  they had because you'd find the one with [TS]

  the Indian with the star arm they [TS]

  weren't that rare and I never traded one [TS]

  in for a free one but that's how you [TS]

  could save your fingernail clippings and [TS]

  solid SD water you remember that I do [TS]

  not remember that mm-hmm saving the top [TS]

  from a pop top like that that's like [TS]

  super aluminum or something you get [TS]

  extra money for super aluminum school [TS]

  like our school God God God bless the [TS]

  hard-working people at our school and [TS]

  and the people who dozens of years ago [TS]

  came up with these really terrible ideas [TS]

  for raising money and can they continue [TS]

  to do them today to bring in oh you [TS]

  bring in your your label tops from [TS]

  cereal and we'll make like half hold [TS]

  this garbage at your house until you [TS]

  bring it to our house you know she could [TS]

  do you bring the super aluminum from the [TS]

  top of your pop top so we treat those [TS]

  well so a good thing about Meighan was [TS]

  that she hurt her raven hair girl you're [TS]

  with for a while that's not her [TS]

  she was raven haired mm-hmm did we go to [TS]

  dinner one time it's different [TS]

  it's like that's her name I never met [TS]

  her she's just she's just a mythical [TS]

  character she's just in the pantheon for [TS]

  me completely a mythic gold Kelly I [TS]

  still think about it [TS]

  did I tell you I told you I tried to get [TS]

  my daughter on that and she wouldn't she [TS]

  didn't buy it because the the way the [TS]

  story goes and John Syracuse it reminds [TS]

  me that I'm remembering this story wrong [TS]

  but your story is what was is your is [TS]

  your good buddy from Alaska right well [TS]

  it was it was tell the story again cuz [TS]

  it's been a long time I refer to it a [TS]

  lot and it'll help me tell this it'll [TS]

  come back welcome back to the pants in a [TS]

  minute but tell me tell me the story [TS]

  wasn't Mike I want to sell no no Eric [TS]

  Eric okay and and so and Jonna siracusa [TS]

  remembers this story you told as being [TS]

  like it was an important like end of [TS]

  high school end of an era kind of thing [TS]

  and you guys were parting ways and he [TS]

  had he had a message for you know how do [TS]

  you remember it I just remember it as [TS]

  your friend who in my head I know it's [TS]

  not Mike Squires but it feels like a [TS]

  very Mike Squires thing to do it might [TS]

  the story is you and you and your buddy [TS]

  are out your buddy goes to a drinking [TS]

  fountain gets a drink of water and then [TS]

  he says to you from now on for the rest [TS]

  of your life every time you take a drink [TS]

  from a water fountain I want you to [TS]

  think of me that's the way I remember it [TS]

  that that that is how it happened but [TS]

  it's um and the rub is you told me that [TS]

  story and now in my broken brain every [TS]

  time I drink from a water fountain which [TS]

  is not that often but now which makes it [TS]

  even more acute is every time I stick a [TS]

  drink of water from a water fountain I [TS]

  think of you remembering your friend [TS]

  whom I've never met so that's on me now [TS]

  so that the story was Eric Spurlock okay [TS]

  was a guy who moved to Alaska with his [TS]

  his parents after he was already a [TS]

  teenager they they live they live back [TS]

  east in upstate New York in like Geneseo [TS]

  New York and they moved to Alaska [TS]

  because Eric's dad's brother lived up [TS]

  there already or whatever and Eric's [TS]

  Eric's cousin was a guy named John what [TS]

  the hell was his last name John was like [TS]

  the year ahead of me okay and John was [TS]

  the funny guy in school [TS]

  the guy that uh oh fuck his name I just [TS]

  it just passed god that's so frustrating [TS]

  John [TS]

  was was Adriano gold goldsmith John was [TS]

  one year older than me and he was the [TS]

  funny guy in the senior class when I was [TS]

  a junior the funny guy in the class [TS]

  clown and cut-up he's legit made people [TS]

  laugh he was the funny guy and he had a [TS]

  pockmarked face like he was never gonna [TS]

  be one of the handsome guys and he was [TS]

  just he was just viciously funny and and [TS]

  and awful right I mean he was he was [TS]

  scary he was a he was he was a bully [TS]

  well he's fast at knowing where to go [TS]

  right he was super fast and the thing is [TS]

  that you know despite because in Alaska [TS]

  it's kind of cut cutthroat a little bit [TS]

  and no oh jon-jerale [TS]

  jon-jerale nobody could get jon-jerale [TS]

  nobody backed jon-jerale and into a [TS]

  corner nothing right I mean you couldn't [TS]

  you couldn't you couldn't like rich [TS]

  clothes shame him you couldn't like [TS]

  classic a classic maybe not not to say [TS]

  these an unattractive man but like the [TS]

  kid and in my case felt a little bullied [TS]

  sometimes that's where the humor comes [TS]

  from it comes from this deflection and [TS]

  being ill that becomes your strength yes [TS]

  sir he absolutely and that was how I [TS]

  felt right I was chubby and I was I was [TS]

  sears we'll call you husky husky I was [TS]

  universally considered a dork you know I [TS]

  was I was a year younger than everybody [TS]

  else because my parents put me in [TS]

  kindergarten when I was four and so I [TS]

  was just a dork I couldn't grow a [TS]

  mustache I didn't I was just sort of [TS]

  like really was and scallop I just [TS]

  looked like a scalpel so unfinished and [TS]

  my mom kept cutting my hair until I [TS]

  absolutely pushed her hand away one time [TS]

  like yeah I went to school just hidden [TS]

  this is worse than a principled Ohioan [TS]

  she was so principled and so watching [TS]

  jon-jerale just be like just like watch [TS]

  on people I really did admire him but I [TS]

  also was terrified of him and [TS]

  he never gave me any praise or [TS]

  acknowledgement he was always he saw me [TS]

  as a holding he was and he saw me not as [TS]

  a even a comer but just like you know [TS]

  right get away from me scallop like the [TS]

  last thing I need is a bunch of fanboys [TS]

  I was like a bunch of fanboys I'm your [TS]

  only fan boy yeah he was just like dick [TS]

  and everything I you know I wanted to do [TS]

  he he kind of did before me like he [TS]

  wanted to be a DJ a radio DJ and that's [TS]

  what I wanted to be he got a job at a [TS]

  radio station his junior year house it's [TS]

  coming back to me yeah you know as a [TS]

  sophomore I was just like Chuck girls [TS]

  we're getting a radio station like me - [TS]

  would be President and then one time [TS]

  right there I'm like our president it [TS]

  was our president one time jon-jerale [TS]

  I remember the day I actually remember [TS]

  the moment and where I was standing in [TS]

  the high school where I work it was a [TS]

  group of people standing around he was a [TS]

  senior by then I was a junior which is [TS]

  when I really kind of came into my world [TS]

  and I said something to a group of [TS]

  people and John turned and he was like [TS]

  huh that was I was pretty good and I was [TS]

  just like the crown has passed mm-hmm [TS]

  boom but anyway Spurlock was John [TS]

  Gerald's cousin and he was my age and it [TS]

  kind of looked like John but even kind [TS]

  of more dorky John had a pock pockmarked [TS]

  face but not but he wasn't unhandsome [TS]

  eric was just sort of like me kind of [TS]

  unformed a guy that was gonna be an [TS]

  attractive man but not a very attractive [TS]

  teen that's how it works [TS]

  eric was also very funny but he was [TS]

  coming from outside he was coming from [TS]

  New York [TS]

  and he really strongly strongly felt [TS]

  that Alaska was something he didn't he [TS]

  couldn't penetrate like he just was [TS]

  never gonna be Alaskan and he felt it [TS]

  really acutely right you could just feel [TS]

  that he was the insecurity of not [TS]

  understanding what all the rules were [TS]

  and not getting the inside you know not [TS]

  comprehending it but he's super funny [TS]

  and he became a very close member of our [TS]

  of our group but he never accepted [TS]

  entirely how close he was to us [TS]

  we all thought he was integral and he [TS]

  always couldn't let that be he he always [TS]

  felt outside and at the end of high [TS]

  school we were we were all kind of at [TS]

  that point in time like yes sure going [TS]

  off to college but Alaska was all we [TS]

  knew and we we all assumed we would go [TS]

  to college and then come back to Alaska [TS]

  that was that was the whole universe [TS]

  there I don't think it occurred to any [TS]

  one of us that we would ever live [TS]

  outside of Alaska we were going off to [TS]

  college yeah but we were coming back and [TS]

  we're whatever big plans you've got for [TS]

  the long long future they end up you [TS]

  know very much not nearly as important [TS]

  it's like what that next thing is [TS]

  like the college thing is a big thing [TS]

  that's a good step going to college but [TS]

  then at Christmas time we'll be back [TS]

  here to compare notes and then you know [TS]

  what we're gonna do we're gonna graduate [TS]

  we're gonna be in college cotillion [TS]

  mm-hmm not high school Kentucky moc yeah [TS]

  and so Jim McNeal who was from Arkansas [TS]

  but Jim always felt very much part of [TS]

  Alaska because Jim igneel didn't have [TS]

  insecurities Jim Jim even spoke with a [TS]

  southern accent but in Alaska that's [TS]

  just an advantage he was out of Arkansas [TS]

  accent thick one but he was just like [TS]

  I'm from Alaska what are you talking [TS]

  about and Eric and I were walking in the [TS]

  Sears Mall and we stopped to go to the [TS]

  bathroom and there was a drinking [TS]

  fountain and we stopped to get a drink [TS]

  of water and Eric had just a few minutes [TS]

  before we had this great reveal this he [TS]

  dropped this bomb which was we're moving [TS]

  my folks are leaving Alaska home on [TS]

  they'd only been there for three years [TS]

  and this is how you tell me is he [TS]

  telling them all this is how you tell me [TS]

  right and his father bought the his [TS]

  father came up to Alaska he to I guess [TS]

  start over I don't know why you would do [TS]

  this but he came up and bought a bakery [TS]

  and the bakery was for sale [TS]

  because it had formerly been owned by [TS]

  Robert Hanssen who was the Alaska Baker [TS]

  who would who would kidnap prostitutes [TS]

  put them in his airplane take them up to [TS]

  his take them up to wilderness locations [TS]

  set them free and then hunt them hmm [TS]

  there's a there's a movie made about him [TS]

  Robert Hanssen yeah it's a terrible [TS]

  movie butcher baker right but he would [TS]

  like he would yeah he would like the [TS]

  greatest game or whatever like set them [TS]

  loose and most dangerous game right and [TS]

  so Hanson had just been caught mm-hmm [TS]

  like that year and all of a sudden his [TS]

  bakery was like for sale oh now you're [TS]

  gonna want to burn a lot of sage in that [TS]

  place and Eric Spurlock's dad came up [TS]

  and bought the bakery so all of a sudden [TS]

  we're like did they disclose something [TS]

  like that is that something where [TS]

  they've got to let you know I think so I [TS]

  mean I think I think there was a lot of [TS]

  like wow why is that bakery so cheap [TS]

  yeah and and and my understanding of the [TS]

  story is that he did not use the bakery [TS]

  as a as part of his thing it was just [TS]

  for work that was where you went to work [TS]

  yeah but you know one of those things [TS]

  that a lot of people didn't have in high [TS]

  school but I did was a friend whose dad [TS]

  owned a bakery so he were like we could [TS]

  as we were driving around town I was [TS]

  like oh let's let's uh swing into [TS]

  Spurlock's bakery go in there and get [TS]

  some big bakery things pretty pretty [TS]

  cool mm-hmm [TS]

  so Eric says yeah we're moving and and [TS]

  my reaction was like we can't move like [TS]

  he made it you made it all the way [TS]

  through high school you can make it well [TS]

  you're an Alaskan like what do you mean [TS]

  you're moving and he was like yeah we're [TS]

  going back to New York [TS]

  and then he drops this verse down I'm [TS]

  drinking water and he like standing by I [TS]

  mean he goes every time you see that [TS]

  that the writing on the train at the [TS]

  bottom of the water family I want you to [TS]

  think of me oh man I was like I hate how [TS]

  effective that is Wow Wow and you know [TS]

  of course there it is it lives in infamy [TS]

  it's [TS]

  so it's so good because if you're doing [TS]

  to somebody who's really suggestible [TS]

  like I am it's really good because it's [TS]

  also one of those things where how are [TS]

  you gonna like prevent that if it does [TS]

  start to drive you crazy and you can't [TS]

  unthink the thought like what are you [TS]

  gonna do is the whole point of a thing [TS]

  like that is it doesn't happen often [TS]

  enough that you'd like get used to it [TS]

  and you know be able to kind of ride it [TS]

  off it's like ah it would be like from [TS]

  now on every time you see a urinal cake [TS]

  I want you to think of me like you would [TS]

  like you wouldn't even see it coming [TS]

  how do you reprogram yourself from [TS]

  something I don't know but I need to [TS]

  find out cuz I'm very vulnerable well [TS]

  and you're absolutely right like you [TS]

  don't see it isn't like saying every [TS]

  time you drink water right that would be [TS]

  just that would be too much and that [TS]

  would it wouldn't work yeah yeah I mean [TS]

  it's like gambling paying off [TS]

  periodically like the way it would [TS]

  really get in your brain is Oh God [TS]

  see now I'm gonna think about urinals no [TS]

  now I'm gonna think about this episode [TS]

  well every time I see a urinal cake you [TS]

  don't see your own cakes as you used to [TS]

  if you worked in an office where there [TS]

  was a urinal cake in the urinal yeah [TS]

  nothing like that could could work [TS]

  because you use it three times a day and [TS]

  you'd see the urinal cake like you're [TS]

  saying it wouldn't it wouldn't stick but [TS]

  somebody wear it out somebody like you [TS]

  or me where where if the number of times [TS]

  we use a public urinal is somewhat [TS]

  limited and then yeah like you say there [TS]

  aren't urinal cakes anymore for those [TS]

  listeners who don't know what a urinal [TS]

  cake is I'm sure there are zones well if [TS]

  you know baked goods you know about [TS]

  Hanson's bakery you can know about [TS]

  Anchorage yeah so this is a thing where [TS]

  you get this I don't know what it's made [TS]

  of but I don't know it's almost like a [TS]

  bar of soap yeah kind of wax waxy foamy [TS]

  off in pink and it sits at the bottom of [TS]

  the urinal and I think its purpose is to [TS]

  make it smell less like urine and then [TS]

  people urinate on it and ironically [TS]

  enough I think that releases some of the [TS]

  urine cakes powers and the smell of a [TS]

  urine cake is distinctive so and it's [TS]

  not unpleasant so that you very sweet [TS]

  yeah it replaces the smell of urine with [TS]

  this this other smell yeah yeah yeah but [TS]

  I think part of the urine cake have you [TS]

  have you been to a [TS]

  like men's rooms in Europe no no [TS]

  well European I've ever been on the [TS]

  continent no never been on the continent [TS]

  my bent - I've been tingling that's it [TS]

  England well and they I'm not sure they [TS]

  have them there but I think they'll sit [TS]

  down there I think yeah I think the UK [TS]

  that's an entire like island of sitters [TS]

  but they don't I don't think they use [TS]

  they might but there's a the the [TS]

  universal universally popular urinal [TS]

  manufacturers in Europe have now put in [TS]

  their urinals a little painting like [TS]

  they put a fly in there something of a [TS]

  fly or a bee or a little thing to aim at [TS]

  that's that's never centered it's always [TS]

  to the side you must physics physics [TS]

  yeah in a spot that will reduce splatter [TS]

  mm-hmm and if you stand there and pee on [TS]

  the B or pee on the fly it will it's [TS]

  like I have to assume maximum efficiency [TS]

  of the of the urinal yeah and I have [TS]

  found it impossible to not pee on the [TS]

  fly you would have a B you would have to [TS]

  be such an iconoclast he would have to [TS]

  be make a point of saying I am currently [TS]

  not peeing on a fly because that's a [TS]

  thing that I'm doing [TS]

  you would have to hopefully sick cuz [TS]

  your mind what's the pee on that fly so [TS]

  hard no you don't get any coupons or [TS]

  anything out of it but like it's a sense [TS]

  it's a sense of achievement I hit the [TS]

  fly with my pee the thing is you would [TS]

  have to be stronger than that because [TS]

  I'm the type of person that would go to [TS]

  a urinal and say like I'm not gonna pee [TS]

  on the floor I mean that's the type of [TS]

  thing I would do sure but I can't I'm [TS]

  powerless against that fly I know I know [TS]

  because it's otherwise it's just a big [TS]

  white emptiness it's a it's a it's a [TS]

  bowl of it's an infinite bowl I would [TS]

  like more things like that in life I [TS]

  would like more things where you don't [TS]

  need to necessarily have instructions or [TS]

  tutorial you don't need to take an [TS]

  extension class but I would like more [TS]

  I'm gonna call it hinting more like [TS]

  hinting at like okay you know what this [TS]

  is gonna go well we put a thing in here [TS]

  that's not a real fly you don't have to [TS]

  feel bad mmm-hmm we're being flyest [TS]

  that's an image of a fly that you that [TS]

  we're just gonna put this here and we [TS]

  find that people will hit it with their [TS]

  pee and you don't get a bank shot you [TS]

  know it's not like going straight up [TS]

  against [TS]

  you know in a really brightly lit room [TS]

  what one may not realize I don't want to [TS]

  be too graphic here I think most people [TS]

  don't realize how much spotter there is [TS]

  with P noise there's more spotter than [TS]

  you would imagine especially if you're [TS]

  wearing khaki pants and this is a thing [TS]

  that they solved a problem yeah they [TS]

  probably they probably have saw they [TS]

  probably saved let's say conservatively [TS]

  a hundred billion man-hours of cleaning [TS]

  and the shame you know but the thing is [TS]

  they should do freakonomics should do [TS]

  like a whole episode on this because you [TS]

  think about this first of all less [TS]

  stress let's just start with the [TS]

  beginning you're not gonna get your [TS]

  khaki pants I'll cover with splatter [TS]

  that's good right now right you're also [TS]

  gonna waste the more productivity you [TS]

  last time spent trying to dab dab dab to [TS]

  get PP off of off of your pants also you [TS]

  know what less money spent on laundering [TS]

  now that might have a knock-on effect [TS]

  mmm for the be laundering industry [TS]

  that's good for everybody you ready for [TS]

  this one less splatter on the floor [TS]

  let's need to overtly send in janitor [TS]

  man to come in and clean them the [TS]

  splatter it's good for everybody you put [TS]

  a fly in there they say art isn't useful [TS]

  it's very useful you put a fly in a [TS]

  urinal I feel like well first of all in [TS]

  Europe I feel like the bee is more [TS]

  popular than the fly oh because the fly [TS]

  conveys dirtiness right it's a fly in [TS]

  your bathroom that's not what you want [TS]

  oh I see I see yep yep yep yep apply is [TS]

  gross but uh this is probably [TS]

  evolutionary psychology on some level at [TS]

  least a couple ways so you think if you [TS]

  could if you were out in the world just [TS]

  sort of peeing in the gravel and there [TS]

  was an opportunity to pee on a bee well [TS]

  I peed it moves wouldn't you do it I [TS]

  mean there's ants I'd follow it along I [TS]

  mean I it's you got to do that that's [TS]

  just it's in your brain but it gives you [TS]

  that sense of accomplishment like I've [TS]

  been I just peed on that B for a long [TS]

  time but but I do feel I I hear what [TS]

  you're saying and I agree and I'm [TS]

  thinking like what are the what are the [TS]

  other what are the analogues to this [TS]

  like like if you paint lines on a [TS]

  highway right that's all that's also [TS]

  just I think give you some examples of [TS]

  this one example that comes up for me [TS]

  several times a year is that I will see [TS]

  an occurrence of a three-digit number [TS]

  and that was my laundry number [TS]

  when I was in military school which [TS]

  meant that every single item that I [TS]

  owned with a sharpie or with a white [TS]

  laundry marker every single item that I [TS]

  owned had this three digit number on it [TS]

  and it basically equalled me like for [TS]

  practical purposes it was almost like a [TS]

  serial number [TS]

  it was technicals laundry number but [TS]

  I'll cement that if I ever lost anything [TS]

  he would have that three digit number on [TS]

  it and it would return to me because you [TS]

  would even know what everybody else's [TS]

  number was all right so now whenever I [TS]

  see that three-digit number in the wild [TS]

  of course the very first thing I think [TS]

  of is that hey that's weird that's my [TS]

  laundry number well what was your [TS]

  laundry I don't know I mean should I say [TS]

  for OPSEC reasons it's 207 I don't want [TS]

  people I don't people trolling me about [TS]

  it but um like that or like my PO Box [TS]

  and College was 289 and so you know I'm [TS]

  just this is just a random example but [TS]

  those are kinds of things where that's [TS]

  just digits that doesn't mean anything [TS]

  we imbue these digits you know you get a [TS]

  420 or 69 nice like or you get you know [TS]

  you got a lucky number like a like a 37 [TS]

  right mm-hmm and then you start noticing [TS]

  that but I think it has to be that kind [TS]

  of thing it can't be oh I saw a number [TS]

  that wouldn't work it's got to be [TS]

  something that appears somewhat randomly [TS]

  like unto a water fountain right a [TS]

  payphone [TS]

  the rapidly disappearing payphone yeah [TS]

  the payphones are gone now the other day [TS]

  nobody's having a good day when they're [TS]

  using a pencil and I and that's actually [TS]

  been true for a while yes to these when [TS]

  they were still kind of pick on dirty [TS]

  this thing sorry to put that on your [TS]

  face [TS]

  well I mean we all did it for decades [TS]

  think about that mouthpiece think about [TS]

  how many mouths have been right there [TS]

  well just you know think about I mean [TS]

  huh what at what age did you stop [TS]

  sucking on quarters stop sucking on [TS]

  course I'd say sometime between 3 and 11 [TS]

  yeah yeah but sucking on a quarter well [TS]

  yeah I know I know I know and my [TS]

  daughter loves like like my god like me [TS]

  I think you've talked about this too I [TS]

  used to love collecting change and [TS]

  rolling it up and just playing with it [TS]

  and acting like that was in monopoly man [TS]

  like running my hands through it smell [TS]

  your hands smell my hands after you [TS]

  played with money all right it's not a [TS]

  nice smell oh it's a something smell [TS]

  yeah [TS]

  it smells like blood yes there's no [TS]

  you're right you're right yeah yeah [TS]

  absolutely bloody smell well you know [TS]

  they say every hundred dollar bill in [TS]

  America is got cocaine residue that's [TS]

  what they say [TS]

  boss skanks they also say that you happy [TS]

  if you collect a tootsie roll pop with [TS]

  an indian and shooting a star it's the [TS]

  show art for this week already [TS]

  uh-huh got it right here apparently [TS]

  turns out you don't get frequency puffs [TS]

  from it it's there's many many Indians [TS]

  shooting stars and people have gotten [TS]

  tattoos of it is a thing I just learned [TS]

  right and it's some kind of I wonder you [TS]

  know there's got to be a website that [TS]

  deals with that kind of urban legend oh [TS]

  no I just felt five yeah my sources [TS]

  people here clicking because I'm working [TS]

  on the program while we're doing that [TS]

  yeah other things like that but I think [TS]

  it needs to be some combination of [TS]

  something very concrete it can't be as [TS]

  general as like I say just the existence [TS]

  of a number or the color blue or [TS]

  something that it has to be something [TS]

  that you don't have time to think about [TS]

  processing that once you see it on some [TS]

  kind of like um Subrosa level you're [TS]

  processing that you oh that's that thing [TS]

  and I'm thinking of Eric now Eric [TS]

  Spurlock I feel like I feel like this is [TS]

  one of the things that is going to make [TS]

  it's gonna popularize AR and it's gonna [TS]

  it's going to facilitate the transition [TS]

  to AR because what well I think one of [TS]

  the main main main first uses and maybe [TS]

  primary uses of AR is going to be to [TS]

  gamify regular life mmm game uh so [TS]

  regular life yeah so like you know so [TS]

  everything is gonna turn into there's a [TS]

  little coins floating above your tasks [TS]

  or coins floating above things in the [TS]

  world you're gonna Mario over to there [TS]

  and then you jump left left right contra [TS]

  code you grab your you grab your your [TS]

  grab a coin [TS]

  you're not goes into your virtual purse [TS]

  yes exactly and and that gamification [TS]

  will be used by companies and you know [TS]

  if they're smart by governments but [TS]

  certainly by by companies get your [TS]

  coffee somewhere and like you get [TS]

  half off 20% off if you agree to watch a [TS]

  15-second and that or as you're walking [TS]

  through the mall companies will pay to [TS]

  have gold coins floating over the front [TS]

  of their store and you never would have [TS]

  gone over to the Gucci store but you go [TS]

  over there and click and clean collect [TS]

  your coin and then you're standing in [TS]

  front of the store you know or you have [TS]

  to go inside the store to the store rack [TS]

  to collect clean a version of that in [TS]

  this neighborhood near my house over in [TS]

  West Portal where once a year [TS]

  many of the merchants participate in a [TS]

  Where's Waldo [TS]

  tournament so there's a cutout Waldo you [TS]

  put the cutout Waldo somewhere in the [TS]

  store and then you're supposed to go to [TS]

  all the stores and find Waldo and then [TS]

  you can turn that in for I don't know [TS]

  significant prizes and coins [TS]

  yeah significant prizes but if you think [TS]

  about the things that we want people to [TS]

  do right edge the attention economy [TS]

  right it's not it's not as so obviously [TS]

  we already want you to buy stuff that's [TS]

  why there are ads thank you - hello [TS]

  fresh thank you hello fresh this episode [TS]

  of Roderick on the line is brought to [TS]

  you by hello fresh you learn more about [TS]

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  especially loves how the ingredients are [TS]

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  your first week thank you so much hello [TS]

  fresh all right thank Stella fresh for [TS]

  supporting Roderick on the line and all [TS]

  the great shows which is a kind of a [TS]

  gold coin just in this case a gold coin [TS]

  goes to president Zuckerberg Winklevoss [TS]

  but I'm thinking about the other things [TS]

  that we want people to do right like [TS]

  during rush hour traffic now we're [TS]

  talking about a thing we're talking bout [TS]

  a time driving zipper merge we want you [TS]

  to zipper merge stop doing that thing [TS]

  where you going through early or too [TS]

  late [TS]

  zipper merge is what it's all about [TS]

  that's it now we're going to be driving [TS]

  at that point it's all gonna be a [TS]

  driverless cars futurist cuz you did it [TS]

  you took an eternity you jump you left [TS]

  you left you took two assumptions and [TS]

  two plus two x equals like seven you [TS]

  just went to a whole other place [TS]

  somebody told me the other day that [TS]

  there's actually a master's degree in [TS]

  futurism available at the university of [TS]

  hawai and they said why are you not in [TS]

  the master's program at the University [TS]

  of Hawaii why are you why are you even [TS]

  not there yeah and I was like there's a [TS]

  lot of reasons that I'm not but you know [TS]

  what I am a master's degree I don't like [TS]

  the food there at the University of [TS]

  Hawaii well just Hawaii in general it's [TS]

  nothing against the good people of [TS]

  Hawaii I'm so they really do not want me [TS]

  to be there I don't I felt very [TS]

  unwelcome and I felt like I should feel [TS]

  very unwelcome there it's not a good [TS]

  scene but the food I just I can't I [TS]

  can't get with the food there I couldn't [TS]

  do what master's program was that could [TS]

  be two years and you got to write a [TS]

  thesis got a very futuristic thesis yeah [TS]

  probably [TS]

  look you got a living a wife or two [TS]

  years we're gonna semesters degree in [TS]

  futurism I don't see why you can't do [TS]

  that from your home you should [TS]

  able to do that should be a cyber [TS]

  University thing know what I mean your [TS]

  watch but think about how we how people [TS]

  will be controlled by this Spurlock Ian [TS]

  like sync concept but by their own you [TS]

  know by their own volition they'll [TS]

  direct the Spurlock effect they'll be [TS]

  out there being asked to to put put that [TS]

  little bit of like dystopian game onto [TS]

  all the things that they're doing these [TS]

  little like oh well if you're over here [TS]

  I want you to you know it but it's all [TS]

  gonna be they're all gonna be it's gonna [TS]

  be collecting in their in their virtual [TS]

  reality account yes right their life [TS]

  account their credit card like the [TS]

  Minority Report movie and Facebook right [TS]

  so again Minority Report which i think [TS]

  is a very good movie this is thinking [TS]

  about majority reported I haven't seen [TS]

  it in a long time it's movie I think [TS]

  about fairly often who owned there's one [TS]

  one particular scene where Mission [TS]

  Impossible guys was walking around [TS]

  I've memory serves he's walking through [TS]

  a public area Oh abs are talking the ads [TS]

  are talking to him specifically [TS]

  addressing him see I think you combined [TS]

  something like that with you obviously [TS]

  with a Facebook type thing [TS]

  sure so they know lots of stuff about [TS]

  you and then now I realize I'm not being [TS]

  a true as for locking in futurist [TS]

  because I haven't made the leaps that [TS]

  you're late making but I bet in the near [TS]

  term that's gonna be the case [TS]

  it's kind of the case right now like [TS]

  we're a few there's all these dingaling [TS]

  apps where if you're not paying any [TS]

  attention and you should be paying [TS]

  attention and do you want to do location [TS]

  do you want to do notifications do you [TS]

  want to do beep-beep-beep-beep and like [TS]

  a lot of times when you do that even [TS]

  though it breaks the Terms of Service it [TS]

  does lots of stuff to push you things [TS]

  based on where you are or what you [TS]

  haven't done for a while it is doing [TS]

  that open your treasure chest from this [TS]

  from this screen white face guy in app [TS]

  purchase peas double-click to continue [TS]

  and then you've agreed the terms in [TS]

  service and now that yeah that's that's [TS]

  your gold coin for now but you're saying [TS]

  this could be a Mario type situation [TS]

  well what what Minority Report this is [TS]

  the great thing about the about science [TS]

  fiction right they get it they get 80% [TS]

  of it but they don't [TS]

  they it's never really possible to see [TS]

  so clearly like it when we were kids we [TS]

  never would have imagined there wouldn't [TS]

  be a NASA now the science the wonderful [TS]

  science fiction movies I mean setting [TS]

  aside the haha never got a jetpack stuff [TS]

  but you think about how many science [TS]

  fiction movies well so fancifully cover [TS]

  the idea of like even hyperspace travel [TS]

  this is a really obvious one but I think [TS]

  that the one that everybody missed was [TS]

  communications an amazing thing that [TS]

  happen is communications there's so many [TS]

  movies from the 70s 80s 90s that fall [TS]

  apart if you have a wireless phone [TS]

  uh-huh [TS]

  it does not a plot anymore and now you [TS]

  can look up a word on your phone while [TS]

  you're at the cabin the the thing that [TS]

  that Minority Report didn't get was that [TS]

  VR was going to be personal individual [TS]

  so that the plot point of that moment as [TS]

  he's walking through this mall and all [TS]

  the all the video ads are like hello [TS]

  protagonist who's name is ringing out as [TS]

  bad guy and he's like people can hear my [TS]

  name but it will that will all just be [TS]

  in your little heads-up display yeah all [TS]

  that personalization fuck you asshole so [TS]

  but what's gonna be fucked up about that [TS]

  I think is that every person's this is [TS]

  this will this will be playing to the [TS]

  the intrinsic narcissism of modern [TS]

  people every person will be experiencing [TS]

  the world completely personalized and it [TS]

  won't be very long it won't take very [TS]

  long for us to believe that the world [TS]

  actually does belong to oh my god in my [TS]

  mind how different is it from going into [TS]

  one of those massively multiplayer [TS]

  massive games and you get to pick what [TS]

  kind of cloak and sword and are you this [TS]

  kind of hell for that kind of how far [TS]

  yeah hi alpha or a wood elf like are you [TS]

  you know what I mean and see like and [TS]

  now maybe you see everybody else becomes [TS]

  your own little deviantART well you [TS]

  start thinking oh you know everybody [TS]

  should look like a monkey or something [TS]

  well every single store every single ad [TS]

  every single thing would be for [TS]

  everybody else parents man it's the same [TS]

  Walmart that doesn't make any sense you [TS]

  should have the lobby spoke a are [TS]

  Walmart but but like most people's minds [TS]

  are [TS]

  not most people's minds are vulnerable [TS]

  enough or lazy enough I guess that they [TS]

  will not be who they will not be [TS]

  thinking to themselves this is true for [TS]

  everyone they're just gonna be just [TS]

  bathing in the fact that they're hearing [TS]

  their name spoken over and over and over [TS]

  by everything yeah and it's gonna create [TS]

  if we didn't think we already had a [TS]

  nation of monsters it's going to that is [TS]

  gonna be a technology that divides us [TS]

  rather than unites so you give me much [TS]

  to think about I think you should be [TS]

  teaching in Hawaii I teach you know what [TS]

  I'm teaching in virtual Hawaii professor [TS]

  John turn up your brass valves to to psi [TS]

  Broderick you think you have a steampunk [TS]

  virtual class i we were we were trying [TS]

  to we the Jules Verne desk it's like you [TS]

  covered wood we're doing a photo shoot [TS]

  the other day Ken Jennings and I and we [TS]

  were trying to communicate futurism [TS]

  without without using steampunk yeah we [TS]

  determine that it's goggles you cannot [TS]

  communicate anymore the future without [TS]

  without Jules Bernie and so we're there [TS]

  and it's just like no goggles and then [TS]

  Ken just slowly starts putting these [TS]

  goggles on and I'm like no goggles and [TS]

  the goggles just go on you kept out we [TS]

  were in a lab coat so way absolutely lab [TS]

  coat this is like what can you do you [TS]

  can't fight it may be holding bloody [TS]

  baby dolls like the Beatles yesterday [TS]

  and today or or her again the the the [TS]

  dance the dancing scenes from Buck [TS]

  Rogers the television show mmm that's a [TS]

  warm fuzzy I keep I keep wanting to I [TS]

  should go on YouTube it's like Audrey on [TS]

  a gold Schmiedt mm-hmm [TS]

  for years I've been saying funny it's [TS]

  still it's still don't jump ahead but [TS]

  isn't that funny it's still there I have [TS]

  an entire text file called mystery [TS]

  something that's called mystery memories [TS]

  and it's all things I remember that are [TS]

  very weird that I mean some of its stuff [TS]

  as quotidian as like ancient Chinese [TS]

  secret it's done like that remember I [TS]

  had one time my clothes nation oh it's [TS]

  kind of kind of obscure once I was [TS]

  driving around went on Colerain Avenue [TS]

  with my grandmother and I thought a [TS]

  water tower look like a baseball [TS]

  baseball mitt and I still think about it [TS]

  today sliced tomatoes so thin your [TS]

  mother-in-law will never come back big [TS]

  Griz today at the plate speed whenever [TS]

  has a second cup of my coffee [TS]

  uh-huh ancient Chinese secret huh I had [TS]

  a I had a little text file on my phone [TS]

  [Music] [TS]

  about the Bionic Woman doll Steve Austin [TS]

  they put out Oscar Oscar gold Gulch Mead [TS]

  and those it was like a little thumb [TS]

  button in the back right I think so but [TS]

  this yeah all I know is the song starts [TS]

  Jaime Sommers all day all night Marianne [TS]

  I still have that in my head [TS]

  that was a commercial for the first date [TS]

  to all of these is it's so of all of [TS]

  these are so many of these is setting us [TS]

  up my hallucinations from when I was [TS]

  eight there are so many things in here I [TS]

  could go on YouTube and I could probably [TS]

  find it and never occurs to me to go [TS]

  find the gravy train or chuck wagon ad I [TS]

  should go find that wouldn't remember [TS]

  when the little cover wagon the [TS]

  Conestoga wagon goes under the rug the [TS]

  dogs confused that was the world that I [TS]

  wanted to live in a little mini chuck [TS]

  wagon world where that where underneath [TS]

  the sink there was like a whole cowboy [TS]

  universe why do only people in [TS]

  commercials get that well and the thing [TS]

  is that the only person that ever saw [TS]

  that was the dog I know [TS]

  wasn't that tragic yeah bit like so you [TS]

  could go here's cash Amburgey catches [TS]

  big barking bar [TS]

  south Lebanon Ohio [TS]

  follow the cars fallen science the cash [TS]

  is big bargain barn in south Lebanon [TS]

  Ohio anyway [TS]

  you there uh yeah I just I'm sorry I [TS]

  thought I thought I finally ended the [TS]

  podcast I definitely have a text file of [TS]

  like weird memories that aren't related [TS]

  to commercials but like those memories [TS]

  where you think I've got to write this [TS]

  down because this is such a powerful [TS]

  every time you think it it's emotional [TS]

  memory every time you three experience [TS]

  it gets more faded but more edited like [TS]

  you've got to like capture the pure [TS]

  memory when it comes to you when I read [TS]

  them now even the ones that I wrote [TS]

  fairly recently like in the last couple [TS]

  of years like oh shit I've got to put [TS]

  this down I read it now and it just [TS]

  doesn't I didn't write it well enough or [TS]

  something and I just and the and the [TS]

  memory is kind of lost by trying to [TS]

  capture it the sense impression it's [TS]

  like trying to remember a dream like [TS]

  it's like saying through your fingers [TS]

  the harder you try the faster it goes [TS]

  away yeah lieutenant well because there [TS]

  because they're all those there's [TS]

  there's all those feelings like I [TS]

  remember the feeling of sitting in a [TS]

  booth and my mom said maybe and I [TS]

  thought that meant that yes and here's [TS]

  like what I you might start making it [TS]

  too specific and you go okay do I really [TS]

  remember those being those red plastic [TS]

  cups that they Pete had a Pizza Hut did [TS]

  Pizza Hut even have booths and you find [TS]

  yourself going wait and they start [TS]

  fact-checking yourself and pretty soon [TS]

  you're crushing the bunny yeah you don't [TS]

  want to crush the bunny [TS]

  yeah I have a couple of those memories [TS]

  right the time that I lost my horse [TS]

  wallet in the water [TS]

  oh they're odd yes there was a very [TS]

  specific memory I have in in Hawaii when [TS]

  I was a kid I was with my dad [TS]

  we were try and this was back when Maui [TS]

  didn't most of Maui didn't have paved [TS]

  roads it was all dirt roads and we were [TS]

  at some little store and they had a rack [TS]

  of comic books which I'd been you know [TS]

  there hadn't been comic books anywhere I [TS]

  had gone in Hawaii it was like my kind [TS]

  of found comic books and I said dad can [TS]

  I have [TS]

  can I have a comic and he said you get [TS]

  him a couple comics and I brought three [TS]

  up to the cash register but I told you [TS]

  this how's it going I brought three and [TS]

  my dad said I said you could have a [TS]

  couple and I said three as a couple and [TS]

  dad said three is a few uh I had that up [TS]

  until junior high I thought a couple [TS]

  meant like a handful you know a couple I [TS]

  think it was five a couple is two a few [TS]

  is two two four yeah a few was to 250 I [TS]

  didn't realize a couple always meant to [TS]

  I didn't realize that until like junior [TS]

  high [TS]

  well I still don't believe it no but my [TS]

  dad said you can't you know you can have [TS]

  zero because I said you could I said you [TS]

  could have a couple and you brought up a [TS]

  few seconds there oh shit dog that is [TS]

  harsh well that's why I remember this [TS]

  was it was probably snow I don't know I [TS]

  don't know it was a hard become okay but [TS]

  I I remember the store I remember the [TS]

  light in of the day I remember the dirt [TS]

  of the road and the little town that we [TS]

  were in and the whole experience of [TS]

  being on this long car ride with him in [TS]

  Hawaii because it was just solidified in [TS]

  this moment of like I had three comic [TS]

  books in my hand I was at the cash [TS]

  register and those comic books went away [TS]

  because I didn't I did not parse the [TS]

  difference between a couple and a few I [TS]

  remember I I did not buy a lot of comic [TS]

  books gonna have a lot of dough for that [TS]

  kind of thing but I feel this might been [TS]

  when my dad was alive was definitely [TS]

  more still at our other house where he [TS]

  had lived but so I might have been eight [TS]

  maybe nine and I had some kind of a DC [TS]

  comic I picked up you know 25 cents 35 [TS]

  cents I am I'm it had hippies in it and [TS]

  I think I've tried to find this over the [TS]

  years I feel like it might have been a [TS]

  Superman or probably a Batman or maybe [TS]

  like a Justice not Justice League [TS]

  whatever was called whatever the [TS]

  Superfriends were the Superfriends I [TS]

  guess but my mom I remember feeling very [TS]

  ashamed that my mom took it away from me [TS]

  because she thought it was objectionable [TS]

  I think she thought it had like drug [TS]

  things I remember she put it on top of [TS]

  the dresser and I at one time I snuck [TS]

  into her room and got one last look at [TS]

  the forbidden comic and that I never saw [TS]

  it again [TS]

  the forbidden comic were hip [TS]

  he's appeared hippies and and where the [TS]

  hippies like bad with a lot of hippies [TS]

  were like we're getting into a Pizza Hut [TS]

  tumblr type situation cuz I feel like I [TS]

  remember it having like I was probably [TS]

  titillated [TS]

  I'm gonna guess by like girls in [TS]

  lavender or mini dresses because I was a [TS]

  big fan of Mod Squad and I had a huge [TS]

  crush on Julie she was one of my first [TS]

  crush crushes and then you get that [TS]

  Peggy Lipton right so like you know her [TS]

  daughter was on the Parks and Rec it's [TS]

  crazy stuff I don't know it was on the [TS]

  Mod Squad [TS]

  I don't we didn't get the Mod Squad okay [TS]

  was that a good show was it like [TS]

  untouchable it was one of those like TV [TS]

  is trying to get cool in the late [TS]

  sixties shows - yes and it was it was a [TS]

  it was the main guy the black guy and [TS]

  the pretty girl and and the three of [TS]

  them were the Mod Squad and they would [TS]

  solve crimes but doing undercover things [TS]

  you know like 21 Jump Street yeah I [TS]

  guess so I reckon it was I reckon yeah [TS]

  but I think it also I feel like in my [TS]

  head in this guy again this could be a [TS]

  Pizza Hut tumblr situation cuz I very [TS]

  clearly remember those red Tom where's [TS]

  the Pizza Hut and also I think it had [TS]

  like guys with roger McGuinn glasses and [TS]

  like indian headband oh sure of course [TS]

  of course you know the look like I'm 21 [TS]

  Jump Street was exactly like that they [TS]

  wanted to do stories about gangs but [TS]

  they couldn't they couldn't use actual [TS]

  red or no colors and so like their gang [TS]

  yellow and the cruds [TS]

  yeah the lemon drops and I think they're [TS]

  wearing roger mcginn glasses like man [TS]

  you wanna buy some squeak-squeak not a [TS]

  thing yeah this new drug it's called [TS]

  pistol-whip the kids are doing it [TS]

  and yes so anyway that's I got you away [TS]

  from your pants hey Adriano Goldsmith [TS]

  you know I'm telling you I'm here to [TS]

  tell you like Peter Schaffer says in the [TS]

  play Equus moments snap together like [TS]

  magnets [TS]

  there's no way to have any you don't get [TS]

  much control over what decides to stick [TS]

  around how you remember it whether you [TS]

  remember it and having just watched [TS]

  cocoa yesterday [TS]

  which is a very very good movie now of [TS]

  course I'm thinking a lot about memory [TS]

  it's Coco the movie about about a an ape [TS]

  I loved this movie so much I don't want [TS]

  to say too much I would just say it's a [TS]

  very good Pixar movie it has a lot is [TS]

  based around the Day of the Dead and a [TS]

  Mexican family Oh on day the day and [TS]

  it's it's really really good I didn't [TS]

  cry oh yeah I love that gorilla yeah [TS]

  like a hundred different sign languages [TS]

  if I'm a different Coco different Coco [TS]

  yeah [TS]

  Coco cool I got the kitten and then it [TS]

  was terrible watching it was wonderful [TS]

  it was beautiful shining disc meet [TS]

  Coco's new kittens I gotta stop the show [TS]

  is Coco alive still uh I think Coco I [TS]

  don't know it's gonna be a Rosanna [TS]

  situation did they replace the Coco it [TS]

  looks to be according to the internet [TS]

  science site looks like Coco still alive [TS]

  you know Coco I mean girl was 46 years [TS]

  old dude and she's still out there [TS]

  talking to kittens and we don't we don't [TS]

  have like a lot [TS]

  I mean God bless the hippo at the [TS]

  Cincinnati Zoo it's a really cute hippo [TS]

  god bless all my cute animals that said [TS]

  why are we just not getting 24/7 Coco [TS]

  well yeah why doesn't Coco's why don't [TS]

  we have a Coco in every community that [TS]

  people could just go interact with I [TS]

  think it's got to be pretty labor [TS]

  intensive to teach a a gorilla how to [TS]

  sign but I also think why are we not [TS]

  doing that I mean we're spending we're [TS]

  spending tons and tons of money building [TS]

  the f-35 and that sister it's a lot less [TS]

  useful than being able to sign with apes [TS]

  did I tell you I got scammed by cheetahs [TS]

  owner say what okay so you're in for [TS]

  Tarzan movies yes okay I'm pretty sure I [TS]

  got scammed cuz here's the thing there's [TS]

  this guy I gotta look this up see this [TS]

  is another thing I hadn't even bothered [TS]

  to look up but cheetah the original [TS]

  cheetah from the Tarzan movies was like [TS]

  basically in this you know not a hospice [TS]

  but like a retirement like a like a [TS]

  monkey retirement home [TS]

  jim-jim sorry chimps are monkeys anyway [TS]

  you know I'm staying here you [TS]

  don't don't write us don't add us no no [TS]

  no but basically this guy took care of [TS]

  cheetah and the idea was we're gonna [TS]

  cover cheetahs expenses oh by the way I [TS]

  didn't mention cheetah reportedly loves [TS]

  to paint she cheated and cheetah would [TS]

  make these paintings and this fella you [TS]

  could buy an original Chi cheetah canvas [TS]

  and that money was used to help cheetah [TS]

  I still had in my house one of these [TS]

  that I bought and I remember from the [TS]

  moment I got it I thought huh I'm not [TS]

  I'm not an artist or an art critic but [TS]

  looking at this this does not look like [TS]

  knowing a little bit that I know about [TS]

  people and children in particular in [TS]

  some animals if you give an animal [TS]

  some animals if you give an animal [TS]

  Oh paint what they make will not look [TS]

  anything like what you would expect [TS]

  imagine it's gonna be like there's gonna [TS]

  be big splotches in this area nothing [TS]

  over here this is a very uniform like [TS]

  strokes of purple and kind of [TS]

  complementary colors and I was like this [TS]

  I don't know about this I'm pretty sure [TS]

  I'm pretty sure as a jamup I'm pretty [TS]

  sure the dude painted it I feel like if [TS]

  you went on line and said cheetah paint [TS]

  and see now I got a look I bet you [TS]

  there's a video of cheetah actually [TS]

  painting paintings and you can you can [TS]

  go and verify this cheetah no H because [TS]

  ice I actually there's a place there's a [TS]

  place where elephants are given paint [TS]

  brushes and and canvases okay and and [TS]

  it's the similar type of thing they sell [TS]

  the paintings in order to raise money [TS]

  for the elephants yeah and I work well [TS]

  yeah right but also you know the idea [TS]

  being that an elephant has all this [TS]

  depth and sensitivity and if you get if [TS]

  you teach them to paint they can I mean [TS]

  it really helps them emotionally oh okay [TS]

  all right that's super interesting to me [TS]

  I have watched hours and hours of maybe [TS]

  not hours but let's say I've watched a [TS]

  lot more than one of elephants painting [TS]

  okay and they seem to really really do [TS]

  it enthusiastically and and you do [TS]

  really feel like they get the idea they [TS]

  understand that they're making art and I [TS]

  I was on the very very edge of buying a [TS]

  giant elephant artwork several times and [TS]

  the thing was they they put them up at [TS]

  each individual piece and I went through [TS]

  them many times like which one of these [TS]

  you know and I would narrow it down to a [TS]

  couple and then I I never pulled the [TS]

  trigger because I honestly I felt like [TS]

  the elephant had yet to do its best work [TS]

  oh okay it's still a young artist I was [TS]

  waiting for them to mature I was waiting [TS]

  for their paintings to mature and so [TS]

  that I mean because they the painting [TS]

  spoke to me but there was just there was [TS]

  this feeling of like nascent talent that [TS]

  was like it just needed a little bit [TS]

  more time with paint a little bit more [TS]

  time it's like wackadoo enough to feel [TS]

  like naive art like your friend your [TS]

  friend they are collecting drummer now [TS]

  does he have anything that's been [TS]

  painted by animals [TS]

  no he does not does he likes folky naive [TS]

  art is that his thing no not quite not [TS]

  quite all the way to that he likes but [TS]

  it's all his art is mostly figurative [TS]

  it's not just like splattered paint on a [TS]

  canvas it's usually like a painting of a [TS]

  thing no my friend rainy Egan who lives [TS]

  with you in San Francisco California he [TS]

  does so he lives over over by the park [TS]

  got the guy insulted when I was drunk [TS]

  that time that was a total moment one [TS]

  day I will be as absolutely unfiltered [TS]

  as Merlin Mann in this moment of your [TS]

  clients to be able to afford this house [TS]

  forgetting for alcohol reasons I don't [TS]

  think you see me like not being quite [TS]

  myself maybe I was too much myself that [TS]

  night there was also some herbs involved [TS]

  that night and that might have been part [TS]

  of it you were tying it on sometimes [TS]

  rock and roll buddy and we're having a [TS]

  this was after MC Hammer's birthday [TS]

  party wasn't it yeah yeah same night [TS]

  after you spit on the streetcar and they [TS]

  went to this guy's massive massive house [TS]

  where he lived alone in a streetcar [TS]

  [Music] [TS]

  yeah the streetcar Twitter account said [TS]

  hey that still has an impact [TS]

  we watched elf last night and I as of [TS]

  last night I'm giving up on trying to [TS]

  help my daughter remember this I was [TS]

  like hey hey that time that guy came [TS]

  over in the wind Burke of that morning [TS]

  when that tall guy with the dark hair he [TS]

  used to be married to that elf girl hmm [TS]

  she's like I don't know I don't [TS]

  understand any of the words that he just [TS]

  said she's not usually blonde but they [TS]

  used to be married and she was a singer [TS]

  with them Ward and she's like why are [TS]

  you still talking let's just watch the [TS]

  movie [TS]

  what no who do you who you impressing [TS]

  with this me showing her the email the [TS]

  time I emailed Bill Hader like I'm [TS]

  supposed really impress her or something [TS]

  yeah yep yep the kids don't care [TS]

  they don't care although I it was nice [TS]

  he was a gentleman he came over the [TS]

  house was like hey what's this guy doing [TS]

  in my house look at this guy yeah he's a [TS]

  gentleman he's a gentleman I'm friends [TS]

  with Casper baby pants yes and being [TS]

  friends with couchsurfing dance within [TS]

  the kid universe yeah water in that [TS]

  seaside town he does and and it is a I [TS]

  mean all of the other things that I can [TS]

  talk about about about timer nice man [TS]

  he's a nice man he's got a lot going on [TS]

  but i tough man kids are Havel they say [TS]

  never work with with children or animals [TS]

  is what they say you know he Casper baby [TS]

  pants he he raised his son to our [TS]

  program and daughter is really really [TS]

  really nice email that kind of made my [TS]

  month he's nice I think about him all [TS]

  the time because what about the guy [TS]

  insulted well the guy where I told him [TS]

  is his bathroom was too expensive for [TS]

  living alone what was that he didn't [TS]

  listen to our show does he know no he [TS]

  but he's you know he's just sitting on a [TS]

  big big pile of money he's like Absalom [TS]

  the caterpillar room over sting but [TS]

  there are people periodically that will [TS]

  come through town or that I'll talk to [TS]

  who are like I remember that night in [TS]

  San Francisco with that we spent with [TS]

  Merlin man and I'll be like Shirin and [TS]

  and then they'll tell a story about how [TS]

  you got rowdy yeah and took a took a [TS]

  Subway sandwich and stuck it in two [TS]

  different nights a bellhops here or [TS]

  whatever sandwich is over a sewer with [TS]

  pollen storm and I think that's you know [TS]

  that's been pretty well documented I [TS]

  have a photo of Jonathan Coulton [TS]

  standing standing in a subway at like [TS]

  2:00 in the morning looking with his [TS]

  eyes closed his eyes are always closed [TS]

  in photos if you ever notice sign [TS]

  I think his eyes were always closed he's [TS]

  a Dracula he puts his he puts like a [TS]

  little hologram of an eyeball in front [TS]

  of his eyelid by using Cylons anybody [TS]

  who could benefit from the AR economy [TS]

  that is coming down the road it is your [TS]

  friend Jonathan Coulton it's true [TS]

  although I had an interesting [TS]

  conversation the other day this is this [TS]

  may be this may be a thought technology [TS]

  that [TS]

  you do not want our listeners do not [TS]

  want Jesus I had a conversation with a [TS]

  with a good friend who is a friend of [TS]

  yours and a friend of the program and a [TS]

  friend of our universe who said I feel [TS]

  like the up-and-coming the next gen the [TS]

  kids who are like walking into the world [TS]

  right now they do not have any loyalty [TS]

  to nerd and so this thing though this [TS]

  thing that we have been living in the [TS]

  last 10 years is like so many other [TS]

  things in our lives a thing where as [TS]

  we're in it we're thinking this is the [TS]

  future forever Oh sort of like the [TS]

  embalming years like I felt like that [TS]

  was gonna take yeah or like we've talked [TS]

  about before all through the 90s I was [TS]

  thinking that the that the information [TS]

  that I was that I was really honing the [TS]

  skills that I was honing to be able to [TS]

  tell a 1954 Fender Telecaster from an l5 [TS]

  Telecaster it became useless to me [TS]

  I mean useless less than used it went [TS]

  from it went from being fairly useful as [TS]

  an obscure thing not many people knew to [TS]

  like being like tears in rain yeah well [TS]

  it was not not just obscure I mean it [TS]

  was a way you could make a living you [TS]

  could be a person who sat behind a desk [TS]

  and somebody came in and said you'd be [TS]

  able to go like oh this is not an [TS]

  original truss rod for sure thank you [TS]

  for Telecaster and you're like sorry [TS]

  buddy that's not the real tuning pegs [TS]

  now who cares and so all of this [TS]

  investment that a lot of us have put [TS]

  into and and all of the rewards we've [TS]

  reaped but the investment into this idea [TS]

  of like nerd culture yeah the the [TS]

  supposition is that's all going away and [TS]

  when it goes away it's not one of these [TS]

  things that's going to go away gently [TS]

  over eight years it's a thing that's [TS]

  gonna go away pretty fast because it's [TS]

  going to become and I think it maybe [TS]

  already is true that it's it's already [TS]

  transitioning to nostalgia culture so [TS]

  well put [TS]

  or 2008 when nerd was new or remember [TS]

  2011 when we first like when the first [TS]

  Iron Man movie came out and people were [TS]

  like oh my god [TS]

  that he's not he's fairly obscure as [TS]

  these kinds of things go and it's Robert [TS]

  Downey jr. and it's good and like for [TS]

  the first time like a superhero movie [TS]

  made since Superman could be good like [TS]

  what is happening yeah and I think I [TS]

  think the idea now is that that young [TS]

  people coming up or like what they're I [TS]

  mean nerd has become meaningless phrase [TS]

  right it's everybody is one yeah you [TS]

  just want my hot topic and it's just [TS]

  like wow that's stuff I could never have [TS]

  imagined just special edition Doctor Who [TS]

  Funko dolls and stuff like what is [TS]

  happening and it's complete it's so [TS]

  completely Universal that the idea of [TS]

  for instance going on a nerd cruise or [TS]

  or being a nerd artist or something it [TS]

  just is not meaningful to somebody [TS]

  that's under the age of 25 so taken to [TS]

  its extreme that's somebody like a [TS]

  Jonathan Coulton probably like maybe [TS]

  they might be giants MC Frontalot right [TS]

  that's front in particular or maybe [TS]

  Weird Al like these people who were like [TS]

  part of their bona fides were like they [TS]

  are very talented at doing something [TS]

  that feels like a little bit of an [TS]

  outsider thing for weirdos but I feel [TS]

  like the talent will always win out [TS]

  right they might be giants have never I [TS]

  mean they might be giants have [TS]

  definitely not there they haven't like [TS]

  suffered during the nerd years but also [TS]

  they are great right so they figured a [TS]

  diversify their income stream which i [TS]

  think is pretty amazing yeah they sell a [TS]

  literally a ton of t-shirts but like [TS]

  literally one ton but like that music [TS]

  will always appeal to people not [TS]

  necessarily through them reflecting on [TS]

  their own identity as a nerd right and [TS]

  that's true of Jonathan Coulton too but [TS]

  there are an awful awful awful lot of [TS]

  people out there whose whole business [TS]

  and their whole thing is just like you [TS]

  know the t-shirt actually says like nerd [TS]

  exclamation point and and that is gonna [TS]

  be that's all nostalgia now even already [TS]

  yeah [TS]

  I yeah you think about look at how many [TS]

  movies slated freely and this is the [TS]

  result of many many market conditions [TS]

  that are too complicated into here but [TS]

  your look at the number of movies coming [TS]

  out in 2018 that are either sequels part [TS]

  of a franchise or like repurposed from [TS]

  something like look up I mean they've [TS]

  made movies from books for a very long [TS]

  time but like for so many things to be [TS]

  part of a franchise it's it's it's it's [TS]

  it would be and then to say that like [TS]

  these 35 superhero movies look at all [TS]

  the nerds of one right right but we now [TS]

  get three hundred thousand dollar movies [TS]

  that are way too dark getting made yay [TS]

  thank you barely see anything [TS]

  nerds I'm a nerd the thing about the [TS]

  Nerds winning is what we who we don't [TS]

  remember is all the times in the past [TS]

  where X has won and then that's just [TS]

  mainstream culture now and we never [TS]

  think about it again right like that's [TS]

  that's how the hegemony works it is and [TS]

  so so as nerd passes like what's next I [TS]

  don't know when I was on the when I was [TS]

  on this submarine the other day I was [TS]

  talking to the captain and he was saying [TS]

  I can't use sports metaphors there none [TS]

  of the crew like I have 300 people on [TS]

  this boat and not a single one of them [TS]

  understands what I mean when I say let's [TS]

  take this let's let's gain some yards on [TS]

  this let's take this let's take this [TS]

  project and go in for a touchdown I just [TS]

  get blank looks and he says you know [TS]

  this guy's he has to say let's collect [TS]

  the infinity gems he's yeah he's foot [TS]

  he's 41 or whatever and he's a he's a [TS]

  commander of a submarine he's like [TS]

  they're all gamers and I have no idea [TS]

  what what they are what it motivates [TS]

  them because sports metaphors just go [TS]

  right over their head and and that is a [TS]

  thing that's a language gulf that will [TS]

  that exists now and it's like not just a [TS]

  language gulf but like a like a [TS]

  comprehension gulf I have never played a [TS]

  game like that there are lots and lots [TS]

  of people now who are making a pretty [TS]

  good living just being professional [TS]

  gamers where they just play games and [TS]

  other people watch them and I'll never [TS]

  be in that I'll never I mean you know [TS]

  I've made it this far I can I made it [TS]

  all the way to doing stuff on apps [TS]

  and and knowing enough to disable in-app [TS]

  purchases but you're also two point [TS]

  laughs where you get to begin your [TS]

  sentences with dependent clauses like [TS]

  the other day when I was on a submarine [TS]

  just go by but as far as me being like [TS]

  like ground zero and opulent culture [TS]

  right I totally missed the window mr. [TS]

  new song it's about I was at a store [TS]

  yesterday and some music came on the [TS]

  internet overhead the internet overhead [TS]

  which I guess used to be called music oh [TS]

  yes yes yes speaker they called speaker [TS]

  content now speaker content I was like [TS]

  I've heard this song before I've heard [TS]

  it enough now and it feels like is this [TS]

  a song that was really popular nine [TS]

  months ago and I missed it or two years [TS]

  ago and I missed it because this is a [TS]

  really good song how did I miss this [TS]

  going by so I so I Sam dit mhm [TS]

  Sam's gotten very fast Shazam TM it's [TS]

  gotten really fast and sound [TS]

  they're just crazy fast now I don't know [TS]

  what they've done to tweak that but it [TS]

  fits the song that you're pretty sure it [TS]

  should know it'll know in seconds now [TS]

  and it's gotten really good at at doing [TS]

  it in a noisy restaurant or in a room [TS]

  where there was a lot of ambient noise [TS]

  where it's magic to me that that would - [TS]

  and that's an app where it's like you [TS]

  know I have all those apps where you [TS]

  point your phone up at the stars and it [TS]

  tells you about the constellations last [TS]

  night to find the super moon and those [TS]

  are those are wonderful but in terms of [TS]

  being able to be in a store and go [TS]

  what's this song and hold your phone up [TS]

  and it tells you I still am amazed by [TS]

  that [TS]

  it's almost always pink remember that [TS]

  time when you and I were in your living [TS]

  room and you had me sing my own song [TS]

  into the phone it was just like is that [TS]

  Tom flicker I think yeah but but so I [TS]

  pulled my phone up and it tells me that [TS]

  this song is effectively brand new this [TS]

  fall it's number one on the charts and [TS]

  it's by Portugal the man who are [TS]

  hey friends of mine and be from Alaska [TS]

  Portugal the man and it's this song [TS]

  where it basically sounds like a CeeLo [TS]

  green song it doesn't sound it's such a [TS]

  hooky hook and it doesn't feel like [TS]

  indie rock necessarily it feels like [TS]

  this other thing this kind of thing that [TS]

  could be like andre 3000 song off of an [TS]

  outcast record the song is 2 minutes and [TS]

  40 seconds long I mean genius length [TS]

  where it comes to the end and you're [TS]

  like wait wait is that all played again [TS]

  and so I texted a friend of mine like oh [TS]

  man [TS]

  Portugal the man has got a legit hit [TS]

  torch another man and the friend of mine [TS]

  was like I'm playing in the in that band [TS]

  now I've been in Portugal demands since [TS]

  2015 and you didn't even know it and I [TS]

  was like what and then he sent me a [TS]

  picture of himself on an airplane [TS]

  wearing a hat that said Alaska and he's [TS]

  like we're on tour right now we're [TS]

  flying out to somewhere stand and those [TS]

  guys are from Alaska right we're all [TS]

  from there from Matanuska Valley I just [TS]

  found out my my niece is going out with [TS]

  a guy who's his podcast is more popular [TS]

  than mine I mean I wasn't familiar with [TS]

  it but I I see I realized now this guy [TS]

  whose name I keep seeing turning up in [TS]

  various places you imagine how that [TS]

  feels to me is it Travis McElroy I [TS]

  couldn't say yeah but anyway Paul the [TS]

  man this tune that they're doing they're [TS]

  younger than me Portugal they're in [TS]

  Portugal Portugal the man is the name of [TS]

  the band that's the name of the band and [TS]

  they did that thing with the where they [TS]

  did like bad punctuation it's Portugal [TS]

  period the period man what Portugal [TS]

  Portugal the period man they put like [TS]

  extra punctuation god speed you pluck [TS]

  amber gets a pass on that but everybody [TS]

  else needs to quit doing that just well [TS]

  it's too late they've been doing it for [TS]

  like nine years so Portugal now anyway [TS]

  they are Portugal the man they are [TS]

  they're not like young they've been and [TS]

  they've been a band for 10 years but [TS]

  they're still in there I think early 30s [TS]

  and this tune and the whole vibe of it [TS]

  porch another man like he's wearing a [TS]

  mustache and it's like post-ironic [TS]

  - into like normcore mustache and the [TS]

  whole thing just feels like musically [TS]

  I'm super into it but culturally it's [TS]

  just a little bit out of my reach like I [TS]

  can't quite even though they're only [TS]

  there 35 they're not even music facial [TS]

  hair music has changed a lot in your 40s [TS]

  I used to be the only people who look [TS]

  like you were what [TS]

  who's that band I like granddaddy like [TS]

  you me the grande a granddaddy would [TS]

  look like you you get an iron wine it [TS]

  looks like you may be a Dave bazan [TS]

  but like you did not see that many [TS]

  bearded people and now it's just all [TS]

  beers a whistle isn't you oh hey [TS]

  speaking of which did you know the page [TS]

  where the lines getting back together I [TS]

  did I heard that yeah and they're going [TS]

  right left I follow him on Twitter he's [TS]

  a good man yeah he's good he's good and [TS]

  it's gonna be the next few years all [TS]

  about Pedro by the way because you know [TS]

  they're young enough that they could get [TS]

  into this black man young [TS]

  well he's younger than me is he [TS]

  everybody's an old soul that's true [TS]

  that's true a lot of people get old [TS]

  young mmm Portugal - man Portugal period [TS]

  the man no period Portugal period the [TS]

  man no Peter no period right and then [TS]

  got a black Emperor they it is Godspeed [TS]

  you exclamation point [TS]

  black Emperor I believe that's right how [TS]

  to look well there's ellipses and you'll [TS]

  know us by the trail of death that's [TS]

  true we will that's right Friday Night [TS]

  Lights band that's like the MTV version [TS]

  of guts beat you black rapper what do [TS]

  they call what's that band called the [TS]

  Friday Night Lights Friday Night Lights [TS]

  oh come on it's that one band that's a [TS]

  show about a football right yes - true [TS]

  true high true eyes big hearts we're not [TS]

  gonna lose true eyes big heart song used [TS]

  on explosions in the sky oh this guy do [TS]

  they have weird punctuation no I I like [TS]

  their music fine but they remind me of [TS]

  like a little bit of like they are the [TS]

  Coldplay - Godspeed You black hampers [TS]

  Radiohead Oh interesting [TS]

  interesting I have not spent enough time [TS]

  in the Canon of all of that oh really [TS]

  is it all isn't that all like Mogwai [TS]

  derived no no I feel step on your shoe [TS]

  oh no just it concerns me because there [TS]

  was a point probably in the year that [TS]

  didn't exist there's a point at some [TS]

  point 1987 1987 point in the mid to late [TS]

  90s it suddenly became clear that I was [TS]

  supposed to really like a band called [TS]

  tortoise I was supposed to really like [TS]

  they all had names that sound like like [TS]

  a Mexican cactus cactuses or something [TS]

  like these bands use and I would just be [TS]

  like I don't get i this feels it feels [TS]

  like a jamup I get it it's slow and [TS]

  there's a vibraphone what is happening [TS]

  now god speech about Goepper you could [TS]

  call them a post rock band you could but [TS]

  like they're doing a whole different [TS]

  thing they're kind of what is that thing [TS]

  did I have their songs on my phone and [TS]

  it's uh but I don't know I never [TS]

  understood what post rock is I I don't [TS]

  either [TS]

  I don't either it all was that one guy [TS]

  what's his name John McEnroe there's [TS]

  that one guy that's in all those bands I [TS]

  think his name's John McEnroe John [TS]

  McEnroe was one of the greatest the [TS]

  greatest vibraphonist something he [TS]

  married to Brookfield he was now he's [TS]

  married - are you thinking of paper [TS]

  paper chase what's the right no no I got [TS]

  all I got is this twenty dollar bill [TS]

  paper moon he's married paper moon one [TS]

  of those long pillows with a Neil Young [TS]

  album it's only available streaming on [TS]

  that Orange Box down on paper moon no [TS]

  Tatum O'Neal Tatum O'Neal was married to [TS]

  the guy from tortoise I'm pretty sure my [TS]

  right what are those pillows fit that [TS]

  like that are waifu's uh-huh spiky blue [TS]

  haired girl you sleep with pillow yeah [TS]

  yeah yeah yeah well pillow but why [TS]

  everybody have holidays oh shit oh shit [TS]

  well should I bleep it what happen oh [TS]

  yeah you probably did [TS]

  [Laughter] [TS]