Cortex 59: The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People


00:00:00   I'm Ike hi are you ready to be proactive [TS]

00:00:03   and sharpen the saw to synergize our [TS]

00:00:06   win-win solution today's the day today's [TS]

00:00:08   the day seven Habits of Highly Effective [TS]

00:00:10   People there was there was a couple of [TS]

00:00:14   things that I was interested in talking [TS]

00:00:16   about today one was you're surprisingly [TS]

00:00:19   compelling 24-hour death stream oh did [TS]

00:00:21   you like that yeah I did like that very [TS]

00:00:23   much [TS]

00:00:23   so you had a new video in the CGT be [TS]

00:00:25   great doom and gloom series that came [TS]

00:00:27   out I think of it in my head I feel like [TS]

00:00:31   it was very optimistic but okay the idea [TS]

00:00:38   of living forever I'm not sure if it was [TS]

00:00:40   supposed to be in a way that I was [TS]

00:00:42   completely comfortable with but you you [TS]

00:00:44   going alongside this video was a 24 hour [TS]

00:00:48   livestream of an accurate representation [TS]

00:00:51   of how many people died on earth in a [TS]

00:00:54   day and it was fascinating it was like [TS]

00:00:56   on in my house for like 45 minutes just [TS]

00:00:58   in the background like I started [TS]

00:01:00   watching it and then I just kind of [TS]

00:01:02   walked away from the TV and it was [TS]

00:01:04   playing and like I look back it's like [TS]

00:01:07   5,000 I was like oh no that's enough it [TS]

00:01:11   was it was too much to come back and see [TS]

00:01:13   the numbers just getting bigger and [TS]

00:01:14   bigger a little pile of skulls getting [TS]

00:01:16   bigger and bigger yeah it was good that [TS]

00:01:18   was a great idea it's one of those [TS]

00:01:19   things that actually it end up coming [TS]

00:01:21   out of a technical limitation so I have [TS]

00:01:25   this idea originally of like okay I like [TS]

00:01:26   this idea of this 24 hours of death as a [TS]

00:01:30   visual representation of what's occurred [TS]

00:01:32   like how do you how do you convey the [TS]

00:01:34   magnitude of this thing because if you [TS]

00:01:35   just you just say a big number like it [TS]

00:01:38   means nothing [TS]

00:01:38   to people whereas I feel like oh but [TS]

00:01:41   together a little video like this it has [TS]

00:01:42   more of a chance of having an impact you [TS]

00:01:45   know any exactly that way that that you [TS]

00:01:47   say like you start watching it and then [TS]

00:01:48   you come back later and it's like oh my [TS]

00:01:49   right eye well while I was watching the [TS]

00:01:51   dish's 10,000 people died right yeah and [TS]

00:01:53   so it's it has it has an impact it drove [TS]

00:01:56   it home right that it was like I could [TS]

00:01:58   just watch this mesmerizing animation [TS]

00:02:00   where someone was getting their head cut [TS]

00:02:02   off every time every second and they [TS]

00:02:05   were bursting into flames I think this [TS]

00:02:07   is what was occurring oh my apologies [TS]

00:02:10   let's get the clothes of deaf correct I [TS]

00:02:12   guess yeah but say I had this idea like [TS]

00:02:16   okay I wanted to do this and you know [TS]

00:02:19   we're like putting together like this 24 [TS]

00:02:21   hour long file and go to upload it to [TS]

00:02:26   YouTube and I get a great great YouTube [TS]

00:02:28   error message which is surprise videos [TS]

00:02:31   are not allowed to be longer than 12 [TS]

00:02:34   hours mm-hmm it's like huh [TS]

00:02:36   that's interesting because I know for a [TS]

00:02:38   fact that there are videos on YouTube [TS]

00:02:40   which are hundreds of hours long like [TS]

00:02:41   there's there are definitely videos that [TS]

00:02:43   are super long but it turns out that at [TS]

00:02:46   some point in the past YouTube made a [TS]

00:02:48   decision that they had enough of this [TS]

00:02:50   tomfoolery with long videos and they [TS]

00:02:53   decided to reduce the the absolute limit [TS]

00:02:57   down to 12 hours which is also longer [TS]

00:03:00   than any video and YouTube should be [TS]

00:03:01   twelve hours is too long like why I mean [TS]

00:03:04   I know you've found a reason for it [TS]

00:03:05   right I was gonna say I have a very good [TS]

00:03:07   reason why I would like a video that's [TS]

00:03:08   longer than twelve hours thank you right [TS]

00:03:10   but it shouldn't be because no one's [TS]

00:03:12   watching that but actually I'm [TS]

00:03:13   interested to know what your retention [TS]

00:03:15   graphs are like on those videos well we [TS]

00:03:18   can get into that later but so anyway I [TS]

00:03:20   was I was super annoyed about this [TS]

00:03:21   because I was like goddammit like I [TS]

00:03:23   don't want to I don't want to break a [TS]

00:03:24   thing up into two parts like I know that [TS]

00:03:26   I'm going to have to break it up into [TS]

00:03:28   two parts but then I feel like that it [TS]

00:03:30   makes it not as as good when you're [TS]

00:03:32   uploading it for the first time and so I [TS]

00:03:34   was spinning this around in in my head [TS]

00:03:37   and then like talking with some people [TS]

00:03:40   a few people mentioned the suggestion of [TS]

00:03:43   actually like hey can you get around [TS]

00:03:44   this by live-streaming the thing and I [TS]

00:03:47   was like wait a minute yes there is [TS]

00:03:48   there is no limit on how long a live [TS]

00:03:50   stream can be so that's what I ended up [TS]

00:03:53   doing was okay I can get around this [TS]

00:03:54   technical limit by making it live and [TS]

00:03:57   then as soon as I realized that I [TS]

00:03:59   thought oh it actually works better if [TS]

00:04:00   it's live it's way back because people [TS]

00:04:02   can't skip ahead alright like people [TS]

00:04:04   can't just jump and it's buzzy yeah [TS]

00:04:06   right there is this thing that this is [TS]

00:04:09   what I found so compelling about it [TS]

00:04:10   there was a thing on the internet that [TS]

00:04:13   was showing me how many people were [TS]

00:04:15   dying like it's morbid but like a car [TS]

00:04:18   crash television right like you kind of [TS]

00:04:21   you know it's there you can't help but [TS]

00:04:23   look [TS]

00:04:24   mmm-hmm right and I kept checking in [TS]

00:04:26   every now and then just to see how big [TS]

00:04:27   the pile of skulls was like it was you [TS]

00:04:29   know and like and I kind of had it in my [TS]

00:04:31   mind to make sure to look before I ended [TS]

00:04:33   right like I kind of I knew it sighted [TS]

00:04:35   it around like 11:00 a.m. my time or [TS]

00:04:37   something so kind of it was like 10:30 [TS]

00:04:39   or whatever and I just checked it and it [TS]

00:04:40   was like old man but like it it kind of [TS]

00:04:42   had that effect of it of like there is [TS]

00:04:44   this thing that's happening which is [TS]

00:04:45   showing this how can I not [TS]

00:04:47   at least look at it so I think they [TS]

00:04:50   worked really well it's a great idea [TS]

00:04:51   well yeah I'm pretty pleased with the [TS]

00:04:54   way that came out in the end I think [TS]

00:04:55   that ended up being like much more [TS]

00:04:56   interesting than the video itself in a [TS]

00:04:58   way I was just doing this this live [TS]

00:05:00   stream so I'm pretty happy with the way [TS]

00:05:02   it with the way it came out yeah I liked [TS]

00:05:04   the video but I was more interested in [TS]

00:05:06   the in the live stream part like that [TS]

00:05:08   was more exciting to me [TS]

00:05:09   yeah the live stream part is definitely [TS]

00:05:11   the more interesting part and and yeah [TS]

00:05:13   so it was I'm still annoyed that I [TS]

00:05:15   wasn't able to upload the whole thing as [TS]

00:05:17   one continuous file so I did have to end [TS]

00:05:19   up uploading there like the final [TS]

00:05:21   conversion has two pieces I thought you [TS]

00:05:23   could set a live stream as a video like [TS]

00:05:25   you can just have it available you can [TS]

00:05:27   but it will only save the last four [TS]

00:05:29   hours oh that's silly yeah so we just [TS]

00:05:33   also interesting when I realize like I [TS]

00:05:34   know people do 24 hour long like charity [TS]

00:05:36   fundraisers and it's like oh okay so [TS]

00:05:38   there's just no record of that there's [TS]

00:05:40   only a record of the last four hours of [TS]

00:05:41   that because yes that was originally my [TS]

00:05:44   thought was I was like hahaha [TS]

00:05:45   fooled you YouTube like I'll just save [TS]

00:05:48   the live stream and then ended like no [TS]

00:05:50   it's not gonna work it only saves the [TS]

00:05:51   last four hours but yeah so anyway this [TS]

00:05:53   is just an interesting case of a an [TS]

00:05:56   annoying technical limitation that I [TS]

00:05:58   still genuinely wish wasn't there but [TS]

00:06:01   that nonetheless ended up turning into a [TS]

00:06:03   thing that is more interesting than it [TS]

00:06:05   would have otherwise been so I feel like [TS]

00:06:07   that it worked out in the end yeah [TS]

00:06:08   because if you published the video I [TS]

00:06:10   would just skip to the end right yeah [TS]

00:06:12   everybody would have yeah but speaking [TS]

00:06:14   of the audience retention graphs there's [TS]

00:06:17   a there's a very funny thing in those [TS]

00:06:19   audience retention graphs because there [TS]

00:06:21   are little Easter eggs throughout the 12 [TS]

00:06:23   hours I think there's something like 20 [TS]

00:06:25   little Easter eggs that occur and when I [TS]

00:06:29   loaded up the audience retention graphs [TS]

00:06:31   you can see the spikes no areas where [TS]

00:06:34   all the Easter eggs are how are people [TS]

00:06:36   finding them [TS]

00:06:37   well I think what's happening is someone [TS]

00:06:40   sees it and then they jump back a couple [TS]

00:06:43   seconds to say hey what did I just see [TS]

00:06:45   that thing that I thought I saw right [TS]

00:06:47   which then double counts the audience [TS]

00:06:48   retention in that spot and then people [TS]

00:06:50   leave comments I just saw Nicole are [TS]

00:06:52   jumping to those locations but it is [TS]

00:06:56   hilarious on the audience retention [TS]

00:06:57   graph you can see spikes for exactly [TS]

00:07:01   where every single one of the little [TS]

00:07:02   Easter eggs are so that's one morning [TS]

00:07:04   like there's like hey why the one at [TS]

00:07:06   5:57 have a hound and why 7:51 did they [TS]

00:07:09   have a briefcase I like the supposed to [TS]

00:07:11   really needed to like they were upset [TS]

00:07:13   right like why why the why questions are [TS]

00:07:18   great and it is funny cuz when the [TS]

00:07:19   livestream first went up I did I didn't [TS]

00:07:21   enjoy all the comments where people were [TS]

00:07:22   saying things like what does it mean [TS]

00:07:24   like what does it mean I'll leave that [TS]

00:07:28   for you to speculate speculate away [TS]

00:07:33   about what if that's on you to work out [TS]

00:07:35   it's very profound but you've got to [TS]

00:07:36   figure it out yourself I'm looking at [TS]

00:07:38   these now I've got sucked into the [TS]

00:07:40   comments I want to see these two eggs [TS]

00:07:44   like we got a podcast a record last year [TS]

00:07:47   unless we record for 24 hours which I [TS]

00:07:49   don't think it's a good idea remember [TS]

00:07:51   then we won't be able to post it on [TS]

00:07:52   YouTube unless we live stream at 24 hour [TS]

00:07:54   long cortex which is not gonna happen [TS]

00:07:56   Mike do you know that you have become an [TS]

00:07:59   animated character on the internet [TS]

00:08:01   finally right finally yeah that I have [TS]

00:08:05   waited for a cartoon for years finally [TS]

00:08:07   there is a cartoon of me since I was a [TS]

00:08:09   kid I wanted to mike the cartoon and we [TS]

00:08:12   have it now there's a fantastic I found [TS]

00:08:14   this in the cortex subreddit um the [TS]

00:08:16   person who created this video posted it [TS]

00:08:18   hm butit is their YouTube channel I'll [TS]

00:08:20   put a link in the show notes and they [TS]

00:08:22   are putting together some fantastic [TS]

00:08:23   cortex animated videos which I am [TS]

00:08:26   enjoying immensely and I wanted people [TS]

00:08:29   to see them because I think it's really [TS]

00:08:30   great and that there's one of the [TS]

00:08:33   previous episode there's one of some [TS]

00:08:34   classic moments from all the episodes [TS]

00:08:35   and I love seeing stuff like this and [TS]

00:08:38   they really make me laugh and I enjoy [TS]

00:08:41   them immensely and you really like being [TS]

00:08:43   a cartoon character I love being a [TS]

00:08:45   cartoon character this person has an [TS]

00:08:47   almost spooky ability to capture [TS]

00:08:49   movements that I think I [TS]

00:08:51   make the way the way they animate my [TS]

00:08:56   movements when talking to you is a lot [TS]

00:08:58   of how I imagined they actually are so I [TS]

00:09:00   think it's brilliant the one of these [TS]

00:09:01   that I think is probably the best [TS]

00:09:03   version is from I think it was our very [TS]

00:09:05   first episode where we're talking about [TS]

00:09:06   the screen screens and home screen icons [TS]

00:09:08   and the the way they animate you when [TS]

00:09:13   you're when you're asking about what I [TS]

00:09:15   think about your home screen I think [TS]

00:09:17   it's just it's just perfect yes people [TS]

00:09:19   should go take a look at it like I think [TS]

00:09:21   if there's but whether or not the way it [TS]

00:09:24   is animated is the way it happens like [TS]

00:09:25   it adds something to the audio which [TS]

00:09:27   makes it sound like that's the way that [TS]

00:09:29   it happens so it's it's really well done [TS]

00:09:31   I'm always incredibly impressed by the [TS]

00:09:34   way that people make these types of [TS]

00:09:35   videos like I watch some for some of my [TS]

00:09:37   favorite shows mm-hmm you know that [TS]

00:09:39   there are some fantastic animated videos [TS]

00:09:41   for my brother my brother and me oh yeah [TS]

00:09:43   and it what I love about these types of [TS]

00:09:46   videos is the way that people hear a [TS]

00:09:48   thing they hear a thing but the way they [TS]

00:09:51   interpret it adds so much more to it [TS]

00:09:53   mm-hmm [TS]

00:09:54   and I fit such it is such an interesting [TS]

00:09:56   skill that people have to be able to [TS]

00:09:58   hear a sentence and pick out specific [TS]

00:10:00   words and make a joke about those words [TS]

00:10:03   in a way that was never originally [TS]

00:10:04   intended like it's it's so interesting [TS]

00:10:08   to see that and also like the the [TS]

00:10:10   kinetic nature of the videos is very [TS]

00:10:12   interesting to me the way that people [TS]

00:10:14   make the movements and they adjust the [TS]

00:10:16   audio to fit but it's I find it a very [TS]

00:10:19   interesting skill mm-hmm and I'm really [TS]

00:10:22   pleased to see something for our show [TS]

00:10:24   too because I love watching them for the [TS]

00:10:26   shows that I enjoy so I don't know it [TS]

00:10:29   means a lot to me that people make this [TS]

00:10:31   little stuff so one of the thing that [TS]

00:10:32   person and encouraged that people watch [TS]

00:10:34   them because they're really really fun [TS]

00:10:35   yeah it's it's it's great stuff it's [TS]

00:10:39   it's a huge amount of work I can't even [TS]

00:10:41   imagine oh yeah oh yeah I can't imagine [TS]

00:10:43   how much work it is and it is always a [TS]

00:10:45   funny experience especially to see like [TS]

00:10:48   a good joke added to a thing that you [TS]

00:10:50   yourself have said I was like oh I'm [TS]

00:10:52   watching a thing that's an animation of [TS]

00:10:53   something that I have said and then here [TS]

00:10:55   is this extra layer that is put on top [TS]

00:10:57   of it which was not intended to be there [TS]

00:10:59   so it's it's good stuff it's a good [TS]

00:11:01   stuff so gray I've mentioned that I'm [TS]

00:11:03   going to be traveling a bunch [TS]

00:11:05   before the end of the year hmm and one [TS]

00:11:07   of the things I'm doing is pod con which [TS]

00:11:09   is odd cast version of VidCon which [TS]

00:11:12   maybe maybe just spark in many of our [TS]

00:11:15   listeners Minds what this is but it's [TS]

00:11:17   like a celebration of the creation of [TS]

00:11:18   podcasts and there's gonna be a lot of [TS]

00:11:20   live shows and panels and things like [TS]

00:11:21   that I'm gonna be there I now have a [TS]

00:11:25   here's where you'll find Mike Hurley [TS]

00:11:27   schedule so very excited I can put in [TS]

00:11:29   the show notes because I'm doing a [TS]

00:11:30   couple of things I'm doing some panels [TS]

00:11:31   and some roundtables and stuff like that [TS]

00:11:33   as you should be your big men on podcast [TS]

00:11:36   campus pod campus I think it would be [TS]

00:11:39   called the campus yeah sure I just [TS]

00:11:42   wanted to mention one thing that if [TS]

00:11:44   people are gonna be there I'm gonna be [TS]

00:11:46   doing a signing at pod Con oh yeah so [TS]

00:11:49   you're gonna be there at a booth yeah [TS]

00:11:51   both people are gonna bring up things [TS]

00:11:53   for you to sign maybe I don't know what [TS]

00:11:55   that would be I guess what do I sign [TS]

00:11:57   Mike Hurley merchandise people's iPods [TS]

00:12:00   yeah so I'm gonna be their sign their [TS]

00:12:05   beards I don't know how that works yeah [TS]

00:12:07   I guess I'm beard oil I don't know but [TS]

00:12:09   December 10th it's gonna be at pod Con I [TS]

00:12:11   think you have you have to be an [TS]

00:12:12   attendee to be there and I am looking [TS]

00:12:14   forward to it does look like a really [TS]

00:12:15   interesting event like the whole shit [TS]

00:12:17   was something now but I'm gonna be at a [TS]

00:12:19   booth in the signing area and everything [TS]

00:12:22   and I wanted to just let people know [TS]

00:12:24   about this I've never done anything like [TS]

00:12:26   this before [TS]

00:12:26   is is what I'm getting it here and I [TS]

00:12:29   don't really know it was Mike kind of I [TS]

00:12:31   don't really know what to expect so I [TS]

00:12:35   want to make sure that if you're gonna [TS]

00:12:37   be a pod con and you want to come and [TS]

00:12:39   see me please do and I'm gonna have I'm [TS]

00:12:42   gonna make this poster print for people [TS]

00:12:45   that come there will be a poster that I [TS]

00:12:48   will sign and give to you are you [TS]

00:12:51   bribing the people Mike it sounds like [TS]

00:12:53   more of an incentive oh it's an [TS]

00:12:55   incentive incentive there will be a [TS]

00:12:58   poster that I'm currently working on [TS]

00:13:00   with a very talented artist and I may be [TS]

00:13:03   able to share the artwork beforehand [TS]

00:13:04   just because I think it's probably gonna [TS]

00:13:06   be amazing it's this person's awesome I [TS]

00:13:07   don't think you should I think you [TS]

00:13:08   should keep the artwork secret for the [TS]

00:13:11   people who are going to be showing up to [TS]

00:13:12   see I was thinking about like taking a [TS]

00:13:14   picture of it in such a way that you [TS]

00:13:15   couldn't use it for anything like my [TS]

00:13:17   hand is there right but [TS]

00:13:18   say you know the amazingness that is [TS]

00:13:20   gonna be bestowed upon you right that [TS]

00:13:22   you will get okay I'm gonna suggest a [TS]

00:13:25   different tack uh-huh you should take a [TS]

00:13:26   picture that just shows them a corner of [TS]

00:13:29   the poster yeah that's good I like that [TS]

00:13:34   so you can understand how great it's [TS]

00:13:36   gonna be but you don't get it I'm trying [TS]

00:13:38   to help you I like it [TS]

00:13:39   bribe the people to come Mike so this is [TS]

00:13:41   this is my suggestion show a corner of [TS]

00:13:42   the poster I will do that but yeah I'm [TS]

00:13:45   genuinely very excited for pod con [TS]

00:13:47   because this is a thing that I've wanted [TS]

00:13:48   to exist for a while and the schedule [TS]

00:13:50   looks great and I'm excited to go as an [TS]

00:13:52   attendee and as somebody who's gonna be [TS]

00:13:54   involved in a few things so mm-hmm but [TS]

00:13:56   yeah if you're gonna be there please [TS]

00:13:58   come to my signing you'll get a poster [TS]

00:14:00   and it will make me very happy signings [TS]

00:14:07   man like if you have a dollar signing [TS]

00:14:09   you have write something like that [TS]

00:14:13   technically yes that there was there was [TS]

00:14:17   there's one case where I ended up doing [TS]

00:14:18   a thing that was kind of assigning but [TS]

00:14:21   it was it was a very special set of [TS]

00:14:22   circumstances it was though [TS]

00:14:23   yeah the random acts of intelligence [TS]

00:14:25   show down in Alabama it was like I think [TS]

00:14:28   that it was like a very elite group of [TS]

00:14:31   people who were there so that is that is [TS]

00:14:34   the one that is the one time I've done [TS]

00:14:36   it but it also I I have I have great [TS]

00:14:40   sympathy for you Mike because in that [TS]

00:14:43   situation you didn't have the nerve of [TS]

00:14:45   like is anyone going to go to the [TS]

00:14:47   signing because there were just five of [TS]

00:14:49   us there and it's like these people are [TS]

00:14:50   here to see us so we know that if we go [TS]

00:14:52   outside and do signings we're not gonna [TS]

00:14:54   look like sad sad OHS who are just all [TS]

00:14:56   are on our own but if you're at a big [TS]

00:14:58   conference it's a very different thing [TS]

00:15:00   and like you don't know how much of your [TS]

00:15:02   audience is going to be at like the [TS]

00:15:05   core-tex [TS]

00:15:06   audience like you know it would be a [TS]

00:15:07   long line if everybody was was going to [TS]

00:15:10   a mic signing but the question is how [TS]

00:15:11   many are going to pod con and so I [TS]

00:15:14   that's understand right like I can [TS]

00:15:16   understand cold sweats in your hands [TS]

00:15:19   right where it's like like mic mic could [TS]

00:15:21   fill a stadium full of people that we [TS]

00:15:23   got all the core-tex people there but [TS]

00:15:25   how many go to pod con right [TS]

00:15:27   knows like what it's going to look like [TS]

00:15:29   so I I completely understand your your [TS]

00:15:32   desire to bribe slash encourage people [TS]

00:15:36   to go so I think that I think that's a [TS]

00:15:39   good method tease the people with the [TS]

00:15:41   excitement of what they get it a mic [TS]

00:15:42   signing and to any cortex listeners if [TS]

00:15:45   you go into pod con make sure to see mic [TS]

00:15:48   make sure to bring your beard oil this [TS]

00:15:51   episode of cortex is brought to you by [TS]

00:15:53   fresh books hey freelancers you know [TS]

00:15:56   Homer point is to make smart decisions [TS]

00:15:57   for your business right well don't you [TS]

00:15:59   also want to save time too well by [TS]

00:16:01   simplifying tasks like invoicing [TS]

00:16:03   expenses tracking and getting paid [TS]

00:16:05   online fresh books reduces that time [TS]

00:16:08   that their customers need to get their [TS]

00:16:10   work done and also makes things easier [TS]

00:16:12   for them every single day like for [TS]

00:16:14   example when you email a client and [TS]

00:16:17   invoice of fresh books you'll be able to [TS]

00:16:19   see when they've received it and if [TS]

00:16:20   they've seen it then even if they've [TS]

00:16:22   printed it and every other time they [TS]

00:16:24   then open it and do anything with it [TS]

00:16:25   this puts an end to the guessing games [TS]

00:16:27   of whether somebody has looked at an [TS]

00:16:29   invoice they also have a new projects [TS]

00:16:31   feature as well which will allow you to [TS]

00:16:33   share files and messages of your clients [TS]

00:16:35   contractors and even employees so you [TS]

00:16:38   can see how quickly things happen when [TS]

00:16:40   all of your conversations live in one [TS]

00:16:42   place and what better place then fresh [TS]

00:16:44   books first books have over 10 million [TS]

00:16:46   customers but they've managed to stay a [TS]

00:16:48   pretty small company landing them the [TS]

00:16:50   title of small giant on Forbes list of [TS]

00:16:52   best small companies of this year if [TS]

00:16:55   you're listening to this and not yet [TS]

00:16:56   using fresh books now is the time to try [TS]

00:16:58   it they are offering and I'm restrictive [TS]

00:17:00   30 day free trial for listeners of this [TS]

00:17:02   show no credit card required all you [TS]

00:17:05   have to do is go to fresh books complex [TS]

00:17:07   and enter cortex in the how did you hear [TS]

00:17:09   about a section so they know that you [TS]

00:17:11   came to them from this show just before [TS]

00:17:13   I recorded this [TS]

00:17:14   I was actually sending some invoices [TS]

00:17:16   with fresh books I really love this [TS]

00:17:18   system if you send invoices to anybody I [TS]

00:17:21   thoroughly recommend it to you and I [TS]

00:17:23   really really really insist that you [TS]

00:17:24   give it a go fresh books calm such [TS]

00:17:26   cortex thanks for fresh books for their [TS]

00:17:29   support of this show and really have [TS]

00:17:30   them all right gray I think that we're [TS]

00:17:33   effectively warmed up at this point to [TS]

00:17:35   discuss the book the cortex book club [TS]

00:17:38   the seven Habits of Highly Effective [TS]

00:17:40   People [TS]

00:17:41   now I have had this on my list since the [TS]

00:17:44   very beginning of our show right this [TS]

00:17:47   has been something that I have wanted to [TS]

00:17:48   talk about I've never read this book [TS]

00:17:50   before but I like many people are very [TS]

00:17:53   aware of this as an idea that there is a [TS]

00:17:56   book called the seven Habits of Highly [TS]

00:17:58   Effective People I'm pretty sure I've [TS]

00:18:00   had some of it mentioned to me during [TS]

00:18:02   management training courses back in my [TS]

00:18:05   old life right like this is I mean [TS]

00:18:07   what's it like 20 million 15 million [TS]

00:18:10   copies sold or something I was looking [TS]

00:18:11   it up this morning and yeah it's it's 25 [TS]

00:18:14   million copies sold and it's something [TS]

00:18:17   like one of the top 20 best-selling [TS]

00:18:19   business books of all time it's it's a [TS]

00:18:22   it's a mammoth giant in this field this [TS]

00:18:25   is the one when it comes to these types [TS]

00:18:27   of books you know like like we spoken [TS]

00:18:29   about the e-myth revisited right like we [TS]

00:18:31   spoke about the only I think that all of [TS]

00:18:32   these books are just trying to be the [TS]

00:18:34   next seven Habits like this is like an [TS]

00:18:37   entire empire there are many spin-off [TS]

00:18:40   books there's like whole business up [TS]

00:18:41   around it like it is it is a big thing [TS]

00:18:44   yeah there's like seven Habits for the [TS]

00:18:46   teenage chicken soup soul like there's [TS]

00:18:49   met you know a whole mini there's many [TS]

00:18:50   spin-offs of this my favorite one the [TS]

00:18:53   eight habit as I uh hang on a second how [TS]

00:18:56   many are there is there an infinite [TS]

00:18:57   amount of habits now well people keep [TS]

00:18:59   buying books yes there are an infinite [TS]

00:19:01   number of habits yeah yeah yeah sure [TS]

00:19:03   what I want to do is I want to go [TS]

00:19:05   through each of the habits and give a [TS]

00:19:07   very brief outline of them and then we [TS]

00:19:10   can talk about if and how they apply to [TS]

00:19:12   our working lives even you know before [TS]

00:19:16   or after but I wanted to kind of talk [TS]

00:19:18   about the book and the abstract a little [TS]

00:19:20   bit more so you had read this before [TS]

00:19:22   right they keep this isn't your first [TS]

00:19:24   time this is my first time with the book [TS]

00:19:25   but it isn't yours right yeah no this is [TS]

00:19:28   not my first time at this rodeo and it's [TS]

00:19:31   and it is why when we were mentioning [TS]

00:19:33   that this was coming up in the last [TS]

00:19:34   episode I think I think people could [TS]

00:19:36   hear that there was some hesitation in [TS]

00:19:38   my voice to finally committing to doing [TS]

00:19:41   this thing that you have been bugging me [TS]

00:19:43   for years to do yeah so I I read this a [TS]

00:19:46   long time ago and [TS]

00:19:49   I was charming I kept trying to remember [TS]

00:19:52   but I'm pretty sure that I read this [TS]

00:19:55   book along with a bunch of other books [TS]

00:19:57   in the genre before I ended up finding [TS]

00:20:00   getting things done which was the book [TS]

00:20:03   that really worked for me you were [TS]

00:20:04   looking for something right and none of [TS]

00:20:06   these books gave you that yeah like I [TS]

00:20:08   remember reading a book about eating a [TS]

00:20:11   frog there's a whole bunch of books that [TS]

00:20:12   are like these well-known things and and [TS]

00:20:15   this was one of these books and yeah I'm [TS]

00:20:18   95% sure that I read it before I read [TS]

00:20:20   getting things done a long time ago [TS]

00:20:24   back when I was a very different person [TS]

00:20:25   so yes I I have read this book and upon [TS]

00:20:30   rereading it much of it came rushing [TS]

00:20:33   back and and so much of it was [TS]

00:20:37   surprising and new let's let's say that [TS]

00:20:40   so yeah reread the book finished it not [TS]

00:20:43   30 minutes before we started recording [TS]

00:20:45   today so I finish it yesterday [TS]

00:20:48   yeah just like just like homework in [TS]

00:20:51   real life where if a thing had to get [TS]

00:20:54   done I was gonna do it in the class [TS]

00:20:56   before the class when it was due that is [TS]

00:20:58   essentially what I did this morning is [TS]

00:21:00   like man I timed it right down to a 30 [TS]

00:21:03   minute buffer of when I could finish [TS]

00:21:05   this book and I got it done just on time [TS]

00:21:07   let's just pull back the cone a little [TS]

00:21:09   bit more we're recording this episode [TS]

00:21:11   like three days later than we were [TS]

00:21:12   supposed to I wouldn't have got the book [TS]

00:21:14   done in time so I was kind of pretty [TS]

00:21:18   happy about that yeah yeah that is that [TS]

00:21:21   is also the case I had some last-minute [TS]

00:21:23   travel plans that messed up our [TS]

00:21:24   recording schedule but it was also a [TS]

00:21:25   thing I like happy for her and they ever [TS]

00:21:27   gonna finish this book in time I had [TS]

00:21:33   like seven hours to go Davis it's long [TS]

00:21:36   it's really long it's really long I want [TS]

00:21:39   to say though right this book was not as [TS]

00:21:44   bad as I thought it was going to be I [TS]

00:21:46   will say that like it is frustrating at [TS]

00:21:49   times and I want to talk about some of [TS]

00:21:51   those frustrations in a bit more detail [TS]

00:21:52   but I was not infuriated listening to [TS]

00:21:55   this book like I was the e-myth [TS]

00:21:56   revisited which by the way if you've [TS]

00:21:58   never heard that episode of the show [TS]

00:21:59   it's one of my favorites [TS]

00:22:01   yeah yeah it's it's it's a it's a really [TS]

00:22:03   good one to start with if ya if you're [TS]

00:22:05   like recommending people come to the [TS]

00:22:07   show like I think that's probably a [TS]

00:22:08   great starting spot even if people [TS]

00:22:09   haven't read the book I'll put a link in [TS]

00:22:11   the show notes to that episode it was [TS]

00:22:12   episode 21 January of last year I [TS]

00:22:15   thought it was longer than that but yeah [TS]

00:22:16   journey of last year episode 21 the myth [TS]

00:22:18   revisited I recommend that one if you've [TS]

00:22:20   not heard it I'll actually say if you [TS]

00:22:21   recommend someone for the show but [TS]

00:22:23   anyway I actually found this book [TS]

00:22:25   interesting at times and sometimes [TS]

00:22:27   useful in a way that like a myth I took [TS]

00:22:30   one thing from it there was one thing [TS]

00:22:33   and I think this book it has more to it [TS]

00:22:35   than that I can actually was reading it [TS]

00:22:37   can be like okay I know why this got as [TS]

00:22:40   popular as it did like I have a lot of [TS]

00:22:42   problems with it [TS]

00:22:43   but on the whole there is good [TS]

00:22:47   information in this book and it isn't it [TS]

00:22:51   isn't infuriating like I wasn't [TS]

00:22:54   screaming at my phone like I was when I [TS]

00:22:57   was listening to e-myth yeah you you [TS]

00:22:59   were really frustrated I hated that book [TS]

00:23:01   it was it was everything I don't like [TS]

00:23:04   about that type of thing that book had [TS]

00:23:05   oh but like you know I couldn't I would [TS]

00:23:08   have to take breaks right like if I was [TS]

00:23:09   gonna sit down and listen to it for [TS]

00:23:10   three hours I had to take a break like [TS]

00:23:12   every 45 minutes cuz it there's just [TS]

00:23:14   only so much of this I can take [TS]

00:23:15   right like I feel like it's just my [TS]

00:23:17   brain is being filled up with mostly [TS]

00:23:20   nonsense for a while right and I can I [TS]

00:23:22   haven't it to like chill for a bit but [TS]

00:23:24   I've found this one I was like going [TS]

00:23:27   like I'm making more notes than I [TS]

00:23:29   thought I would make mostly for me so um [TS]

00:23:32   this book I can see why it is a big [TS]

00:23:37   thing I can see why it why people really [TS]

00:23:39   really like what it has to say hmm [TS]

00:23:43   that's interesting to hear because part [TS]

00:23:46   of my memory of the book and one of the [TS]

00:23:48   reasons why I didn't feel like I wanted [TS]

00:23:49   to read it again is because my my review [TS]

00:23:54   when people have asked me about it has [TS]

00:23:56   always been it's one good idea in a [TS]

00:23:58   thousand pages this this was my memory [TS]

00:24:02   from having read the book the first time [TS]

00:24:04   and so it was is interesting to like [TS]

00:24:07   read it again and see like does this [TS]

00:24:08   hold up or does this not hold up and [TS]

00:24:12   upon rereading this book [TS]

00:24:14   I feel like this book defeated my soul I [TS]

00:24:17   feel really huh beaten down from reading [TS]

00:24:21   this book so I feel like we're having a [TS]

00:24:23   little bit of opposite reactions with a [TS]

00:24:25   myth and this one because a nemeth I [TS]

00:24:27   felt like like I kept was defending [TS]

00:24:29   e-myth I'm like yeah that's crazy but [TS]

00:24:31   there's some good ideas in here right [TS]

00:24:32   whereas whereas with this one like I [TS]

00:24:36   think you could play the audio book of [TS]

00:24:38   of this as a method of torture right to [TS]

00:24:42   just make people divulge information by [TS]

00:24:44   just looping it in their cell over an [TS]

00:24:46   interesting okay I will say like there [TS]

00:24:49   is a huge chunk of this book that I [TS]

00:24:51   think is pointless yeah I mean as with [TS]

00:24:55   all these books it could be dramatically [TS]

00:24:56   shortened oh yeah oh but more but more [TS]

00:25:00   than that like so even though this book [TS]

00:25:03   totally defeated me I also have the [TS]

00:25:05   understanding of like I I can see why [TS]

00:25:07   this book was such a such a mammoth book [TS]

00:25:10   but my takeaway is this book is almost [TS]

00:25:15   like like a Rorschach test like people [TS]

00:25:18   will it's so they in so many places that [TS]

00:25:23   you can I think people can just kind of [TS]

00:25:25   read into it their own their own [TS]

00:25:26   situations but that like the amount of [TS]

00:25:29   actual actionable material struck me as [TS]

00:25:32   like incredibly small and and when I [TS]

00:25:37   felt like I was reading was a like a [TS]

00:25:40   Productivity book Markov chain like like [TS]

00:25:43   this is just like an automatic AI [TS]

00:25:44   generated endless string sentence of [TS]

00:25:47   words in a Productivity book that your [TS]

00:25:50   brain is constantly struggling to pull [TS]

00:25:52   meaning out of and to find connections [TS]

00:25:54   to and it just never ends okay just goes [TS]

00:25:57   on forever and when I say that this book [TS]

00:26:01   defeated me that the thing that was has [TS]

00:26:03   like I started reading the book and I [TS]

00:26:06   like read up to habit number two which [TS]

00:26:10   is sort of most of what I had remembered [TS]

00:26:11   from from before and then I realized [TS]

00:26:14   like I'm reading this book but the [TS]

00:26:16   reading is in quotes where I'm just [TS]

00:26:18   pressing forward on the Kindle like not [TS]

00:26:20   not even skimming but it's just like [TS]

00:26:22   flip flip flip because my brain is this [TS]

00:26:25   like trying to get through this thing [TS]

00:26:26   like hey [TS]

00:26:27   just let's just turn some pages and then [TS]

00:26:29   we'll focus on the words in a little bit [TS]

00:26:31   and it's like a pickup at another spot [TS]

00:26:32   it's like oh god I can't stand this so I [TS]

00:26:34   always make fun of you for reading the [TS]

00:26:36   audiobook but I had to buy the audiobook [TS]

00:26:39   because I was aware that at a certain [TS]

00:26:42   point like I I physically cannot read [TS]

00:26:46   this book there is there is no way I can [TS]

00:26:48   force my eyes to look at the words and [TS]

00:26:50   have them and have the meaning go into [TS]

00:26:52   my head it was just completely [TS]

00:26:54   impossible so I switched to the [TS]

00:26:57   audiobook which I never recommend people [TS]

00:26:59   do for this kind of boto and then I felt [TS]

00:27:01   like I was being brainwashed for six [TS]

00:27:04   more hours so it's like I I feel like I [TS]

00:27:08   have come out of an experience somewhat [TS]

00:27:10   traumatized and I'm gonna I'm gonna give [TS]

00:27:13   a no recommend to this book but I'm very [TS]

00:27:16   happy to talk about some of the habits [TS]

00:27:18   and the ideas that are contained inside [TS]

00:27:19   of it but I I cannot think of a book in [TS]

00:27:24   the genre that I can now say that I like [TS]

00:27:27   less than this book a kiss book is the [TS]

00:27:29   worst book it's put a pin in that for [TS]

00:27:30   one second because I have a theory but I [TS]

00:27:32   wanted to say about the audiobook mm-hmm [TS]

00:27:34   I know that the audio books are torture [TS]

00:27:37   but the reason I do it is because I can [TS]

00:27:39   integrate it into my life right yeah [TS]

00:27:41   yeah I don't have to like take the time [TS]

00:27:44   to sit and read the book because I don't [TS]

00:27:47   do a lot of sitting and reading time in [TS]

00:27:49   this way right but like I can be [TS]

00:27:51   traveling as I have been and listen I [TS]

00:27:54   can be playing stardew valley and listen [TS]

00:27:58   so that's why I do this right like I I [TS]

00:28:00   do that because it I can integrate the [TS]

00:28:03   audio book into my working life and [TS]

00:28:05   personal life [TS]

00:28:06   easier than I can the physical book or [TS]

00:28:09   oh yeah yeah I completely understand [TS]

00:28:11   that and that's what I was doing as well [TS]

00:28:12   like I've been I've been traveling a [TS]

00:28:13   whole bunch and so it's like okay great [TS]

00:28:15   while I'm standing on line at security [TS]

00:28:16   right I can hear about how we're gonna [TS]

00:28:18   synergize our plus-one ideas and it's [TS]

00:28:20   great [TS]

00:28:21   but I also found that at a certain point [TS]

00:28:23   just like I was no longer reading the [TS]

00:28:25   book I was simply not listening to the [TS]

00:28:27   audiobook and so what I ended up the [TS]

00:28:30   final the final stage in my journey of I [TS]

00:28:33   have to read this so I can talk about it [TS]

00:28:34   at least a little bit on a podcast was [TS]

00:28:36   no joke [TS]

00:28:38   listening to the audiobook while looking [TS]

00:28:41   at the Kindle version was was the only [TS]

00:28:43   news it was like the only way I could [TS]

00:28:46   force the words to mean things in my [TS]

00:28:48   head because I was aware I guess after a [TS]

00:28:50   while even with the audiobook it's like [TS]

00:28:51   I can't I can't listen so I had the [TS]

00:28:53   weird experience towards the end of [TS]

00:28:55   audiobook cranked up to like two and a [TS]

00:28:57   half X which is about my reading speed [TS]

00:28:59   and then like quote reading through the [TS]

00:29:01   book while the audiobook is playing in [TS]

00:29:03   my head so that that's how I finished [TS]

00:29:05   the book this morning so here is my [TS]

00:29:07   theory I have a theory about this which [TS]

00:29:09   I kind of decided on pretty early and it [TS]

00:29:12   helped me get through this book okay [TS]

00:29:14   this book was published in 1989 right my [TS]

00:29:18   theory is part of the reason that at [TS]

00:29:21   first I was finding it infuriating and [TS]

00:29:23   why I believe you find it infuriating is [TS]

00:29:26   this book feels like you take every [TS]

00:29:29   other productivity book ever written put [TS]

00:29:32   it into a blender and seven habits pops [TS]

00:29:34   out and I think it's the reverse of that [TS]

00:29:37   this was the book the start at a lot of [TS]

00:29:39   this stuff so so many of the things that [TS]

00:29:43   feel like tropes of terrible business [TS]

00:29:45   books because you've heard them a [TS]

00:29:47   million times because of this one so [TS]

00:29:50   like as when I started thinking about [TS]

00:29:52   that I approached this book differently [TS]

00:29:53   I was giving it more leeway because this [TS]

00:29:57   book isn't trying to be annoying I am [TS]

00:30:00   annoyed by this book because every [TS]

00:30:03   marketing book business book a [TS]

00:30:05   management material ever made since 1989 [TS]

00:30:08   is trying a ripoff the seven habits and [TS]

00:30:12   when I kind of this is my theory when I [TS]

00:30:15   was able to accept that I was able to [TS]

00:30:17   give this book more leeway and that's [TS]

00:30:19   why I think I wasn't someone oyd about [TS]

00:30:20   it ya know you're totally right about [TS]

00:30:22   that IIIi think that that's not a theory [TS]

00:30:25   that that might as well just be like an [TS]

00:30:26   accepted fact in the universe right that [TS]

00:30:28   this like when you this is this is the [TS]

00:30:30   book that had to introduce the idea of [TS]

00:30:32   like paradigm shift into the into the [TS]

00:30:35   language right this is this is the book [TS]

00:30:36   that that raises the idea of synergy in [TS]

00:30:39   the language right it's the first book [TS]

00:30:41   that starts talking about all of that [TS]

00:30:42   stuff and Mike if my comparison for this [TS]

00:30:45   is is the example I always use but I [TS]

00:30:48   think of the the animated version of [TS]

00:30:50   ghost in the shell as a move [TS]

00:30:51   which is very hard for modern modern [TS]

00:30:54   audiences to watch because it's set up [TS]

00:30:56   every single science fiction trope for [TS]

00:30:58   the next thirty years so when you watch [TS]

00:31:00   the original it feels like this thing is [TS]

00:31:02   incredibly unoriginal because you've [TS]

00:31:04   you've seen all of the spin-offs and all [TS]

00:31:07   of the versions for the next 30 years on [TS]

00:31:08   it like without a doubt seven Habits [TS]

00:31:11   reading it now has that problem and [TS]

00:31:14   you've read so many more of these types [TS]

00:31:16   of books than I have so you have read [TS]

00:31:18   this book a hundred and fifty times but [TS]

00:31:21   my problem with it isn't that like it [TS]

00:31:24   isn't it isn't just that it's like yes [TS]

00:31:26   this this is this this endless blender [TS]

00:31:28   of random sentences from other books [TS]

00:31:30   because I was also thinking that very [TS]

00:31:32   much while I'm reading it it's like okay [TS]

00:31:33   this is the foundation of it but it [TS]

00:31:35   still felt like even even with that in [TS]

00:31:37   mind like when he's talking about these [TS]

00:31:39   various things there's just so little [TS]

00:31:43   there or the like the ideas don't even [TS]

00:31:47   make sense like his his whole chapter on [TS]

00:31:49   I just I pick up pick up on synergy just [TS]

00:31:51   as an example right because this is like [TS]

00:31:52   idea that has infected the business [TS]

00:31:54   world or people are always synergizing [TS]

00:31:56   their global strategies right but even [TS]

00:31:58   even that whole chapter is like even [TS]

00:32:00   here his eye his concept of synergy it's [TS]

00:32:02   not like oh the original person had a [TS]

00:32:04   great idea and it has it isn't it has [TS]

00:32:07   since been distilled down to a [TS]

00:32:08   meaningless jargon word it's like no it [TS]

00:32:10   was born as a meaningless jargon yeah [TS]

00:32:12   like he's using it wildly and [TS]

00:32:14   consistently in a way that makes no [TS]

00:32:16   sense across a whole bunch of different [TS]

00:32:18   analogies so so that's why I don't feel [TS]

00:32:20   like ah this thing was the thing that [TS]

00:32:22   started it and it got mutated over time [TS]

00:32:23   it's like it was it was born in this [TS]

00:32:25   inconsistent horrific way yeah so yeah [TS]

00:32:28   there are so many buzz words and phrases [TS]

00:32:32   in this book he creates the by the end [TS]

00:32:35   of it you feel like you're in a bowl of [TS]

00:32:36   soup like so I've this is this is from [TS]

00:32:40   habit 7 this was a note that's this at [TS]

00:32:42   the end right so I've made this note and [TS]

00:32:44   I say by the point in this book there [TS]

00:32:46   are so many buzzwords that he uses that [TS]

00:32:48   it is almost impossible to distinguish [TS]

00:32:51   them from each other right yeah so I'll [TS]

00:32:52   give a few of these when we may talk [TS]

00:32:54   about them emotional bank account PC [TS]

00:32:56   balance intra dependence interdependence [TS]

00:32:58   personal renewal daily private victory [TS]

00:33:01   synergize win-win solutions by the end [TS]

00:33:03   of the book he is throwing these words [TS]

00:33:05   like candy and to the point that you're [TS]

00:33:07   like does this word actually exist I [TS]

00:33:10   believe by the end of this book that the [TS]

00:33:12   word intro dependence existed because [TS]

00:33:15   it's like I've heard it so many times [TS]

00:33:16   now that it must be true and it is the [TS]

00:33:20   intro dependence is the idea of working [TS]

00:33:23   with others so instead of being [TS]

00:33:24   independent you're interdependent [TS]

00:33:27   it's either inter or intra I also [TS]

00:33:28   couldn't understand it because here's [TS]

00:33:29   another thing I have a problem with [TS]

00:33:31   basically all business books I'm almost [TS]

00:33:33   convinced this is my lover of my [TS]

00:33:35   theories coming out of this book I am [TS]

00:33:37   always convinced that audiobook [TS]

00:33:39   narrators are the people narrating [TS]

00:33:41   audiobooks this one is narrated by [TS]

00:33:42   stephen r.covey the guy who wrote the [TS]

00:33:44   book that they pronounce words weirdly [TS]

00:33:47   just to make sure that you're paying [TS]

00:33:48   attention yes yes there's a few of those [TS]

00:33:52   in here or it's like this is a normal [TS]

00:33:54   word dude in a way I've never heard [TS]

00:33:58   before he goes rooms it's like the [TS]

00:34:01   longest word with a V in it it's like I [TS]

00:34:03   don't understand what you're doing like [TS]

00:34:05   they said some words that nobody says [TS]

00:34:07   them like this I am convinced that they [TS]

00:34:09   do this just so you pay attention [TS]

00:34:11   because you're like I don't understand [TS]

00:34:13   the word that he just used it's my [TS]

00:34:15   blowing a couple of months so I'm now [TS]

00:34:17   getting worked up now so here a couple [TS]

00:34:19   more frustrations about this book the [TS]

00:34:20   first habit begins at two hours and 22 [TS]

00:34:23   minutes in I have the unabridged it's [TS]

00:34:31   again don't know why I do this but my [TS]

00:34:32   version includes a foreword which is [TS]

00:34:36   mind blowing Lee just up in the [TS]

00:34:40   stratosphere where he's talking about [TS]

00:34:42   his son and I just can't believe it's [TS]

00:34:45   true like like with many of these [TS]

00:34:48   stories there are many stories in this [TS]

00:34:50   book where I'm like okay coffee that [TS]

00:34:52   does that didn't happen something like [TS]

00:34:54   that may have happened but that didn't [TS]

00:34:56   happen and the idea is that his son was [TS]

00:34:59   failing in everything he was terrible at [TS]

00:35:01   school [TS]

00:35:02   terrible F athletics just couldn't get [TS]

00:35:05   anything right in his life they started [TS]

00:35:08   to apply the seven Habits to him before [TS]

00:35:09   they became the seven Habits right like [TS]

00:35:11   they just tried to change their behavior [TS]

00:35:12   and he ended up being the most popular [TS]

00:35:15   kid in school homecoming king twice [TS]

00:35:18   grade-a valedictorian and the captain of [TS]

00:35:22   the football team right anyone the Nobel [TS]

00:35:25   Prize [TS]

00:35:26   no I did a little bit of investigation [TS]

00:35:29   and his son was a successful American [TS]

00:35:32   football player mm-hmm but I don't [TS]

00:35:34   believe the rest of it like I can't [TS]

00:35:36   maybe he was all of those things but [TS]

00:35:38   beforehand was not failing unpopular and [TS]

00:35:40   couldn't run but like I just can't in my [TS]

00:35:43   mind believe that this is true and the [TS]

00:35:45   thing is they may be true if it is [TS]

00:35:47   whatever but when you read these books [TS]

00:35:49   you like this can't be because you know [TS]

00:35:50   there are lies throughout this book he [TS]

00:35:53   also found a magical hotel by the way [TS]

00:35:55   which is like well oh my god yes I have [TS]

00:35:57   that highlighted we can get to that [TS]

00:35:59   later [TS]

00:35:59   but yeah this is one of the things that [TS]

00:36:03   I didn't remember about the book at all [TS]

00:36:04   and I was astounded on there on the [TS]

00:36:05   reread is everything relates to his [TS]

00:36:09   children and his family it's it was [TS]

00:36:12   astounding how much of this book is [TS]

00:36:16   focused around marriage yeah so many [TS]

00:36:19   things like this is a business book but [TS]

00:36:21   like honestly the major focus of these [TS]

00:36:24   seven habits is applying them to your [TS]

00:36:26   family life and I was like what is this [TS]

00:36:28   book like this was it was so different [TS]

00:36:31   to what I was expecting in that way [TS]

00:36:32   everything is to do with his family even [TS]

00:36:35   like delegating his son to mow the lawn [TS]

00:36:36   right like oh my god the mowing the lawn [TS]

00:36:38   story yeah but but this this is exactly [TS]

00:36:40   the kind of thing where it's just like I [TS]

00:36:42   don't I don't believe these stories that [TS]

00:36:44   you're telling about your children like [TS]

00:36:45   oh yeah because they're he's always [TS]

00:36:47   telling stories about some kind of Leave [TS]

00:36:49   It to Beaver perfect family where [TS]

00:36:51   they're just they're having [TS]

00:36:52   conversations and then people just [TS]

00:36:53   realize oh I understand everything now [TS]

00:36:55   and and like stuff just works out [TS]

00:36:57   perfectly fine even when it doesn't [TS]

00:36:58   there's something's I'm like it's the [TS]

00:37:01   stories are crazy there's one that I [TS]

00:37:03   highlighted as to me a perfect example [TS]

00:37:04   like I'm sorry the this story didn't [TS]

00:37:07   happen where I don't know if you [TS]

00:37:09   remember this one but he's talking about [TS]

00:37:11   not wanting to go see Star Wars with his [TS]

00:37:14   daughter and yeah and and the daughter [TS]

00:37:19   says Oh dad all right I know you don't [TS]

00:37:21   like Star Wars you've slept through [TS]

00:37:23   before right you don't you don't want to [TS]

00:37:24   see this movie and then and then his [TS]

00:37:28   daughter was like how old is the [TS]

00:37:30   daughter in this story which [TS]

00:37:32   she says quote but you know why you [TS]

00:37:34   don't like Star Wars it's because you [TS]

00:37:36   don't understand the philosophy and [TS]

00:37:38   training of a Jedi Knight right what I [TS]

00:37:41   said you know you know the things you [TS]

00:37:43   teach dad those those same things you [TS]

00:37:46   teach are the training of a Jedi Knight [TS]

00:37:49   and then I said really let's go see Star [TS]

00:37:52   Wars and we did she sat next to me and [TS]

00:37:55   gave me the new paradigm I became her [TS]

00:37:58   student her learner [TS]

00:38:00   it was totally fascinating and I could [TS]

00:38:02   begin to see out of the new paradigm the [TS]

00:38:05   whole way a Jedi Knights basic [TS]

00:38:08   philosophy and training is manifested in [TS]

00:38:11   different circumstances right it's like [TS]

00:38:13   this didn't happen this there's no way [TS]

00:38:16   that your daughter's like let me tell [TS]

00:38:18   you about the philosophy and training of [TS]

00:38:19   a Jedi Knight because also like this [TS]

00:38:21   movie is taking place in the 80s like [TS]

00:38:22   this is this did not happen there is no [TS]

00:38:25   way that your daughter was like let me [TS]

00:38:27   explain to you how what Jedi Knights do [TS]

00:38:29   is exactly what you do dad you're just [TS]

00:38:32   like a Jedi company or a Jedi yeah we [TS]

00:38:35   wanted to be a Jedi as well this is all [TS]

00:38:38   about I read that story because that one [TS]

00:38:39   is particularly yeah but but just [TS]

00:38:41   imagine like every single page there is [TS]

00:38:44   some quick story about his family and [TS]

00:38:47   like learning things from his children [TS]

00:38:49   or or teaching things to his children in [TS]

00:38:52   ways that when you're on the 100th one [TS]

00:38:54   of them like this is not believable like [TS]

00:38:56   this is crazy I think the worst one for [TS]

00:38:59   me is this is towards the end of the [TS]

00:39:00   book he's talking about how him and his [TS]

00:39:02   family took a year away to Hawaii oh my [TS]

00:39:05   god yeah [TS]

00:39:06   and he talks about how you know the kids [TS]

00:39:09   would go to school and then he would [TS]

00:39:10   pick them up on like it's got like a [TS]

00:39:12   honda trail master or something trail [TS]

00:39:15   cycle which is a motorbike where he said [TS]

00:39:17   to all four of the family got on the [TS]

00:39:20   bike and would drive like i would sit on [TS]

00:39:24   my wife would sit behind me kids been [TS]

00:39:26   between us and one of them when my knee [TS]

00:39:27   is like wow no it's like you circus [TS]

00:39:31   performers what are you doing well that [TS]

00:39:33   that kind of description to me reads [TS]

00:39:35   like a thing where when you're a [TS]

00:39:37   psychologist and you start to unwind [TS]

00:39:38   with someone false memories that they [TS]

00:39:40   have knows like oh yeah we were all [TS]

00:39:43   yeah it's like no that can't possibly [TS]

00:39:44   have been the case right let's let's [TS]

00:39:47   start comparing this against real-world [TS]

00:39:48   things like there's no way that you were [TS]

00:39:50   doing this in the way that you're [TS]

00:39:52   describing and then he would talk about [TS]

00:39:53   how they would sit on the beach and just [TS]

00:39:57   talk for hours right like that every [TS]

00:39:58   single day and then he's talk telling [TS]

00:40:01   the story about how his wife would only [TS]

00:40:04   buy Frigidaire appliances which it's a [TS]

00:40:07   company right they make like white goods [TS]

00:40:09   and stuff mmm and if this was apparently [TS]

00:40:13   a sore spot in their marriage because [TS]

00:40:15   she would insist on these Frigidaire [TS]

00:40:17   appliances and for some reason this [TS]

00:40:18   caused huge problems with tons of [TS]

00:40:21   emotional baggage that because every [TS]

00:40:23   time they needed to buy an appliance [TS]

00:40:24   they had to go to the next town and they [TS]

00:40:26   both were just dreading this [TS]

00:40:27   conversation was coming and every time [TS]

00:40:29   it came it was like the end of their [TS]

00:40:31   marriage and they had so much trouble [TS]

00:40:32   with it and then she happened to [TS]

00:40:34   remember that her father's business was [TS]

00:40:37   saved by Frigidaire how would you not [TS]

00:40:39   remember that [TS]

00:40:39   how would you why would you know you had [TS]

00:40:42   this like undying love for this company [TS]

00:40:45   and not remember it was because your [TS]

00:40:47   dad's business was saved by their [TS]

00:40:48   financing of their appliances yeah [TS]

00:40:50   and that again is an example of like [TS]

00:40:53   okay let's say that that story is is [TS]

00:40:55   true this is also like almost a classic [TS]

00:40:57   example of your wife is probably just [TS]

00:41:00   manufacturing a memory about a thing [TS]

00:41:02   that might have happened when she was [TS]

00:41:04   like it's so it's so weird it's so [TS]

00:41:07   strange so many and so like suffers from [TS]

00:41:19   this thing that all these books do why [TS]

00:41:22   give one example when you can list 20 [TS]

00:41:26   yeah yeah well give one example when you [TS]

00:41:28   can list why there now again I will [TS]

00:41:30   slightly in defense say that that in my [TS]

00:41:32   memory that the thing which we'll get to [TS]

00:41:34   it which I think was the one idea is the [TS]

00:41:37   one place that I think benefits from a [TS]

00:41:38   bunch of examples but most of the time [TS]

00:41:41   it totally doesn't and the the the [TS]

00:41:47   problem with a whole bunch of the [TS]

00:41:48   examples is they are all these just so [TS]

00:41:53   examples right it's like let me tell you [TS]

00:41:56   a thing and then [TS]

00:41:57   here's an imaginary story about how how [TS]

00:41:59   it perfectly solved this situation right [TS]

00:42:01   and it's like it's not a it's not a [TS]

00:42:03   real-life example of what to do like [TS]

00:42:07   just to contrast with getting things [TS]

00:42:08   done which again I will say I don't [TS]

00:42:10   think is a book which really holds up [TS]

00:42:11   anymore but one of the things I always [TS]

00:42:13   find hilarious in that book is David [TS]

00:42:15   Allen talks about the problems and [TS]

00:42:17   projects that you have and his problems [TS]

00:42:19   and projects are always like hilarious [TS]

00:42:22   rich person problem so he talks about [TS]

00:42:24   like like what's the first step to [TS]

00:42:25   building your next orchard right and [TS]

00:42:28   it's like well you know you need to you [TS]

00:42:29   need to do all it like it is there's [TS]

00:42:31   literally an example in the book at one [TS]

00:42:33   point right but but what I were like [TS]

00:42:35   what I will appreciate about that is ok [TS]

00:42:38   he may be giving a bunch of examples but [TS]

00:42:39   he works through like the specifics of [TS]

00:42:42   this thing of like here's here's a thing [TS]

00:42:44   like let's break down the way that [TS]

00:42:45   you're supposed to think about this [TS]

00:42:46   whereas this book feels like a like a [TS]

00:42:49   whole bunch of like parables about an [TS]

00:42:53   imaginary family that are vaguely [TS]

00:42:56   related to the ideas that he's pushing [TS]

00:42:59   in the book and it's like okay this is [TS]

00:43:01   my feeling throughout it is like there's [TS]

00:43:03   no action and if if you read the book [TS]

00:43:08   what you can also see and and what [TS]

00:43:10   really started to bother me is his [TS]

00:43:14   philosophy which there's a very weird [TS]

00:43:16   and very brief afterward which we [TS]

00:43:18   emphasize is this idea but I didn't [TS]

00:43:20   listen today afterward I got today on [TS]

00:43:22   that 7 haven't also come done I'm out [TS]

00:43:23   yeah but his philosophy in large part he [TS]

00:43:26   talks about like he's constantly talking [TS]

00:43:28   about making decisions to say to stay [TS]

00:43:31   constant with your principles right like [TS]

00:43:33   this is this is like over and over this [TS]

00:43:35   is the drumbeat is like this the secret [TS]

00:43:37   to living a good life is to have good [TS]

00:43:39   principles and stick to them all right [TS]

00:43:41   and and my frustration with that is like [TS]

00:43:43   yeah that's the whole problem right like [TS]

00:43:46   that like that's the hard thing to do is [TS]

00:43:49   to make the right decisions but so many [TS]

00:43:52   of these things are like you need to set [TS]

00:43:54   out some some ideas and then just stick [TS]

00:43:56   to them it's like dude just sticking to [TS]

00:43:58   them is the hard part and what I [TS]

00:44:01   absolutely love is in this ridiculous [TS]

00:44:02   story where he talks about having his [TS]

00:44:04   son mowing the lawn it is the author's [TS]

00:44:07   once in the entire book where he [TS]

00:44:09   explicitly not [TS]

00:44:11   like doing something is hard because his [TS]

00:44:13   kid promises to mow the lawn and then [TS]

00:44:15   doesn't and then when he calls his kid [TS]

00:44:17   out on it his kid cries and says oh dad [TS]

00:44:20   it's so hard and his in his internal [TS]

00:44:22   monologue he says like oh what's so hard [TS]

00:44:24   like you didn't do anything and then he [TS]

00:44:26   has one line in the whole book where he [TS]

00:44:28   says well the hard thing is sticking to [TS]

00:44:29   the principles right and then just blows [TS]

00:44:31   right past it and it's like you've got a [TS]

00:44:33   thousand pages upon which every page is [TS]

00:44:36   just like the secret to making good [TS]

00:44:37   decisions is to make good decisions and [TS]

00:44:38   it's like there's nothing here like [TS]

00:44:40   there's nothing here to talk about and [TS]

00:44:43   it's as weird thing about choices and [TS]

00:44:46   there is there is a moment which blows [TS]

00:44:49   my mind in the afterword at the very end [TS]

00:44:52   of the book which really sums it up [TS]

00:44:53   where he's talking about choices and he [TS]

00:44:57   literally literally just says something [TS]

00:44:59   like if your parents abused you as a [TS]

00:45:01   child that does not mean you have to [TS]

00:45:02   abuse your own children right you can [TS]

00:45:04   choose not to abuse your children and [TS]

00:45:07   it's like oh oh is that the problem like [TS]

00:45:09   people are just making them it's it's on [TS]

00:45:11   my grizzy alright like oh okay it's like [TS]

00:45:16   thank thanks for solving like these [TS]

00:45:19   these systemic societal problems by [TS]

00:45:21   telling people who do bad things not to [TS]

00:45:24   choose to do the bad things right it's [TS]

00:45:27   so yeah there are more examples of this [TS]

00:45:30   so one of the one of the many examples [TS]

00:45:33   of relationship advice in this book [TS]

00:45:36   there is somebody who came up to him at [TS]

00:45:38   the end of a conference many people come [TS]

00:45:40   up to coffee at the end of his speaking [TS]

00:45:42   engagements two stories oh my god yeah [TS]

00:45:45   was this the woman the nurse like who's [TS]

00:45:47   working with the old man or is this [TS]

00:45:48   another one it's guys like me and my [TS]

00:45:53   wife we don't love each other anymore oh [TS]

00:45:55   I have that highlighted too oh my god [TS]

00:45:57   it's a joke just love them but it's like [TS]

00:46:00   but we don't get a you just a lot you [TS]

00:46:02   just keep saying over and over again [TS]

00:46:03   just love them just love them and [TS]

00:46:04   they're saying that you know love is a [TS]

00:46:06   thing that is constructed by books and [TS]

00:46:08   it's not a real thing and all you have [TS]

00:46:10   to do is be attentive and it's it's like [TS]

00:46:12   okay the advice like there's probably [TS]

00:46:14   some interesting stuff in this advice [TS]

00:46:16   but the way that he gives it it's just [TS]

00:46:18   so we [TS]

00:46:19   like we just love them like he's that is [TS]

00:46:22   his advice just love them you just keep [TS]

00:46:24   saying over and over again until the [TS]

00:46:25   scales fall from the person's eyes and [TS]

00:46:28   they can finally see as part of coffees [TS]

00:46:30   teaching I think this is worth reading [TS]

00:46:32   word for word this this weird like how [TS]

00:46:34   to love how to love your wife thing it's [TS]

00:46:35   like okay listen there's like strap in [TS]

00:46:38   for a moment here yeah okay you got a [TS]

00:46:39   wild ride okay so so here's relationship [TS]

00:46:43   advice from Stephen Covey at one seminar [TS]

00:46:46   where I was speaking on the concept of [TS]

00:46:47   productivity a man came up and said [TS]

00:46:49   Stephen I like what you're saying but [TS]

00:46:52   every situation is so different look at [TS]

00:46:54   my marriage I'm really worried my wife [TS]

00:46:56   and I just don't have the same feelings [TS]

00:46:57   for each other that we used to I guess I [TS]

00:47:00   just don't love her anymore and she [TS]

00:47:02   doesn't love me what can I do love her I [TS]

00:47:05   replied I told you the feeling just [TS]

00:47:07   isn't there anymore love her you don't [TS]

00:47:11   understand the feeling of love just [TS]

00:47:13   isn't there then love her if the feeling [TS]

00:47:16   isn't there that's a good reason to love [TS]

00:47:19   her but how do you love when you don't [TS]

00:47:21   love my friend love is a verb love the [TS]

00:47:25   feeling is the fruit of love the verb so [TS]

00:47:29   love her end of chapter but like but [TS]

00:47:40   that that is another version of the same [TS]

00:47:43   story that gets told too many times [TS]

00:47:45   which is like just choose to do the [TS]

00:47:47   better thing and it's like okay thanks [TS]

00:47:51   thanks man I'll be sure to do that it [TS]

00:47:53   that that one is that one is is just [TS]

00:47:56   astounding yeah but there's many people [TS]

00:47:58   at conferences and children and like [TS]

00:47:59   these these are all like tropes of this [TS]

00:48:01   genre but this one has so many weird [TS]

00:48:03   ones and it's like by the end I start [TS]

00:48:06   feeling almost personally offended by [TS]

00:48:10   the constant refrain of just do the [TS]

00:48:15   thing that will make your life better [TS]

00:48:16   and it's like screw you buddy like that [TS]

00:48:19   is that is not an answer like that is [TS]

00:48:21   not an action right you can't like the [TS]

00:48:22   way to love your wife is just love her [TS]

00:48:24   right like okay [TS]

00:48:32   let's talk about the habits I have more [TS]

00:48:35   of these things to talk about as we go [TS]

00:48:37   through by when we start talking about [TS]

00:48:38   the habits Liz if we don't start talking [TS]

00:48:41   about the habit whenever we will never [TS]

00:48:42   stop but we'll never get to them so let [TS]

00:48:45   lets let's go through that again [TS]

00:48:46   I wanted to state my position I am [TS]

00:48:48   infuriated by all of these things I'm so [TS]

00:48:50   angry about the things that happen in [TS]

00:48:52   this book like that but I didn't find [TS]

00:48:54   myself just losing my mind like I did [TS]

00:48:56   with the e-myth because I feel like a [TS]

00:48:58   nemeth they were just brittle endless [TS]

00:48:59   and I feel at least there was some [TS]

00:49:01   breaks here where he was talking about [TS]

00:49:03   some interesting stuff and I do believe [TS]

00:49:05   that this book has more than just one [TS]

00:49:07   thing to take away from it today's show [TS]

00:49:09   is brought to you in part by our friends [TS]

00:49:11   at hava building your online identity [TS]

00:49:13   has never been more important and with [TS]

00:49:16   hover you find the domain that shows the [TS]

00:49:18   world who you are and what you're [TS]

00:49:20   passionate about what I love about hover [TS]

00:49:22   is their customer support team the fact [TS]

00:49:25   that everything is super easy to set up [TS]

00:49:27   and super easy to search for so the [TS]

00:49:29   customer support team is best-in-class [TS]

00:49:31   they have a hover connect feature which [TS]

00:49:33   I use just a couple of weeks ago for [TS]

00:49:34   setting up the wedding website that I [TS]

00:49:36   spoke about I was able to get the domain [TS]

00:49:38   name I bought set up with my website in [TS]

00:49:40   just a few clicks I didn't have to enter [TS]

00:49:42   in a bunch of DNS information and also [TS]

00:49:44   they have Whois privacy as well for free [TS]

00:49:46   so bad guys don't get my information I [TS]

00:49:48   really love hover for these things and [TS]

00:49:51   look I've mentioned stuff like getting a [TS]

00:49:53   domain name for my wedding website this [TS]

00:49:56   is something that I needed and hover [TS]

00:49:57   made it simple this wasn't one of those [TS]

00:49:59   things where I had to sit and think and [TS]

00:50:01   scratch my chin about what I was gonna [TS]

00:50:03   get I knew what I wanted and I could go [TS]

00:50:05   in and get it really easily whatever [TS]

00:50:07   type of project or reason no matter what [TS]

00:50:09   it is hover has the tools that you need [TS]

00:50:11   and the domain name options that you [TS]

00:50:13   want to get it done like for example [TS]

00:50:15   what if you want to create a blog well [TS]

00:50:18   by using the dot blog domain extension [TS]

00:50:20   you can tell everyone exactly what to [TS]

00:50:23   expect when they go to your website they [TS]

00:50:25   know they're gonna get awesome and [TS]

00:50:26   relevant content about you or your [TS]

00:50:27   business rather than just a generic [TS]

00:50:29   homepage because the site is called dot [TS]

00:50:31   blog so let's say that you're a blogger [TS]

00:50:33   or a company even that's trying to [TS]

00:50:35   create new leads or inform your customer [TS]

00:50:37   base or just you want to talk about [TS]

00:50:39   what's going on in your life you could [TS]

00:50:40   use dot blog instead of something [TS]

00:50:42   generic like com adop is people know [TS]

00:50:44   what they're gonna get when they see [TS]

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00:50:47   with the perfect domain name for you or [TS]

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00:50:55   extensions by going to hover up comps at [TS]

00:50:57   context of course including top blog [TS]

00:50:59   thanks to hover for their support of [TS]

00:51:01   this show the habits are broken down [TS]

00:51:04   into two and a half categories the first [TS]

00:51:07   three are classified as private victory [TS]

00:51:10   and or independents and then four to six [TS]

00:51:13   were classified as public victory or [TS]

00:51:15   interdependence which is working with [TS]

00:51:17   others and the seventh habit is just [TS]

00:51:20   about renewing all of the sixth so is an [TS]

00:51:23   interesting structure and I actually [TS]

00:51:25   quite like the structure so the first [TS]

00:51:27   three are classified as proactivity [TS]

00:51:30   beginning with the end in mind and [TS]

00:51:32   putting first things first so habit one [TS]

00:51:34   is productivity and the idea and there's [TS]

00:51:37   a great summary on Wikipedia for each of [TS]

00:51:39   these and I pulled some of that out just [TS]

00:51:41   to try and give a concise explanation [TS]

00:51:43   for them so be proactive is in [TS]

00:51:47   understanding a circle of influence and [TS]

00:51:48   your circle of concern so the things [TS]

00:51:50   that you can influence about yourself [TS]

00:51:52   and the people that you need to be [TS]

00:51:53   concerned about the things that you need [TS]

00:51:55   to try and change and not to just sit [TS]

00:51:58   and wait in a reactive mode waiting for [TS]

00:52:00   problems to happen before you take [TS]

00:52:02   action you should be out there and [TS]

00:52:03   taking action and a lot of it is about [TS]

00:52:05   understanding the language that you use [TS]

00:52:06   and the way that you think about things [TS]

00:52:08   so I really liked this one example of [TS]

00:52:11   saying things instead of I have to do [TS]

00:52:14   something you say that you choose to do [TS]

00:52:16   something or instead of I wish I had [TS]

00:52:19   done this too I can be this or I can't [TS]

00:52:21   do this and I really like this as a [TS]

00:52:24   start because it was like saying to me [TS]

00:52:27   the the reader think about yourself [TS]

00:52:30   think about the way that you approach [TS]

00:52:31   problems think about the way that you [TS]

00:52:33   approach opportunities and how you refer [TS]

00:52:37   to them and try and understand the [TS]

00:52:39   things that you are able to change and [TS]

00:52:41   the things that you are able to kind of [TS]

00:52:43   influence to change and I found it to be [TS]

00:52:45   an interesting way to start off and it's [TS]

00:52:49   something that I know that in my life I [TS]

00:52:51   have gotten better about over time but [TS]

00:52:54   there was definitely a period of time [TS]

00:52:56   for me when I was in [TS]

00:52:59   branch management where I was not being [TS]

00:53:01   proactive and I was more focused on the [TS]

00:53:04   fact that these bad things are just [TS]

00:53:05   happening to me and I'm not you know and [TS]

00:53:08   there's nothing I can do about it [TS]

00:53:09   rather than what I ended up working out [TS]

00:53:11   later was like why am I doing this I [TS]

00:53:13   don't like this I need to go out and [TS]

00:53:16   change something so I did actually quite [TS]

00:53:18   like this it felt like a good start it [TS]

00:53:19   was just a shame that it started at 2 [TS]

00:53:21   hours and 22 minutes yeah just a small [TS]

00:53:24   note before we move on well you did note [TS]

00:53:26   that the first the first habit comes in [TS]

00:53:29   at 2 hours and whatever minutes when one [TS]

00:53:31   of the remarks that I have here in my [TS]

00:53:33   highlights is the first promotion of the [TS]

00:53:36   Stephen Covey business starts at exactly [TS]

00:53:39   one minute until there was a little bit [TS]

00:53:44   of a thing to notice that yeah it's [TS]

00:53:46   interesting because in the actual book [TS]

00:53:48   there's not a lot of it right because [TS]

00:53:51   he's talking more about being a teacher [TS]

00:53:53   because that's what he was when he was [TS]

00:53:55   writing this book mostly but the [TS]

00:53:57   foreword is after this book has changed [TS]

00:54:01   his life and he is now a management [TS]

00:54:03   consultant right so he's doing these [TS]

00:54:05   seminars and stuff which he mentions in [TS]

00:54:07   the book but like if I'm reading it [TS]

00:54:09   correctly like it wasn't what it ended [TS]

00:54:12   up becoming mm-hmm like he doesn't make [TS]

00:54:15   reference to the Covey business empire [TS]

00:54:17   builds based upon the 7 habits during [TS]

00:54:20   the book because doesn't exist yet [TS]

00:54:22   but forward is full of it right which is [TS]

00:54:25   hilarious right the Clio comes right out [TS]

00:54:27   of the gate but I just I thought that [TS]

00:54:29   was just kind of funny and I know it's [TS]

00:54:31   whatever but I also I also agree like [TS]

00:54:34   the first chapter it was interesting and [TS]

00:54:36   I'll say like in fairness to the book I [TS]

00:54:38   think if it catches you at the right [TS]

00:54:40   moment in your life I genuinely think [TS]

00:54:42   that that first chapter can open up a [TS]

00:54:45   bunch of people's minds to the way that [TS]

00:54:46   they think about things yeah purely the [TS]

00:54:48   language stuff like that surely the [TS]

00:54:50   language stuff the most interest one of [TS]

00:54:53   the most interesting things of the [TS]

00:54:54   entire book actually for me because yeah [TS]

00:54:57   really made me think about huh [TS]

00:54:58   how do I say this stuff and why do I say [TS]

00:55:01   it that way yeah you know like I have to [TS]

00:55:04   do this why do I have to do anything I [TS]

00:55:07   can choose right right and I found it [TS]

00:55:08   really interesting yeah it was and it [TS]

00:55:11   reminded me of a little language [TS]

00:55:13   which of court was like a totally [TS]

00:55:14   hopeless lost cause as a teacher but but [TS]

00:55:17   when I used to have kids come up and say [TS]

00:55:19   like Oh like I gave him a bad grade like [TS]

00:55:21   I would always use the language of like [TS]

00:55:23   no you earned that grade [TS]

00:55:25   right or like I didn't give you a bad [TS]

00:55:27   grade like you earned a bad grade just [TS]

00:55:30   because again it's good paper that I [TS]

00:55:32   ended up changing until it became bad [TS]

00:55:34   right like that bad when you gave it to [TS]

00:55:36   me [TS]

00:55:37   yeah and just like like just just [TS]

00:55:39   changing a little bit of the language [TS]

00:55:40   around that it's like you you are an [TS]

00:55:42   active participant in this process all [TS]

00:55:44   right you're you're not just sitting [TS]

00:55:46   there and I'm handing out grades like [TS]

00:55:49   there's a thing that's happening between [TS]

00:55:50   the two of us and I do I do like I said [TS]

00:55:55   I think if you're at the right stage in [TS]

00:55:56   your life that this might this might [TS]

00:55:58   just catch you in the in the right [TS]

00:56:01   moment and I don't know I don't know [TS]

00:56:03   what the timeline of this is but um I [TS]

00:56:06   was just wondering because a lot of this [TS]

00:56:08   reminded me of I have a relative who is [TS]

00:56:12   a psychologist and works with like [TS]

00:56:14   people who've been through some trauma [TS]

00:56:16   and unwinding them about that and and [TS]

00:56:17   talking about the process of teaching [TS]

00:56:21   people to interrupt their own thoughts [TS]

00:56:23   like teaching people to catch themselves [TS]

00:56:26   thinking in terms of the world is doing [TS]

00:56:28   something to them versus you are an [TS]

00:56:30   actor in the world and and there's just [TS]

00:56:32   this variant like I talked to her about [TS]

00:56:34   like it sounds very interesting like the [TS]

00:56:35   way that she she works with people to [TS]

00:56:38   say like if you have a fear of heights [TS]

00:56:39   like how do you work someone out through [TS]

00:56:42   that and and part of it is like this [TS]

00:56:44   change of you are you are an actor in [TS]

00:56:47   the world like you are not the result of [TS]

00:56:49   all of the actions upon you so it was [TS]

00:56:53   just kind of reminded me about this [TS]

00:56:55   thing which as I've gone through some of [TS]

00:56:57   that sort of stuff and read some of his [TS]

00:56:58   cognitive behavioral therapy like I [TS]

00:57:00   guess that's what the times in my life [TS]

00:57:02   like when I was struggling with some of [TS]

00:57:04   my work stuff this was a great help to [TS]

00:57:07   me was was going through some of this [TS]

00:57:09   stuff because there are some very [TS]

00:57:10   valuable things in that right like the [TS]

00:57:13   the idea of understanding that like you [TS]

00:57:16   can't control everything [TS]

00:57:18   things happen and how do you react to [TS]

00:57:20   them and like how do you change the way [TS]

00:57:21   that you think and say stuff to be [TS]

00:57:23   better in the world like it's it is a [TS]

00:57:25   very powerful thing [TS]

00:57:26   and when I was reading this part this [TS]

00:57:28   well.when habit one was being read to me [TS]

00:57:30   by mr. Covey himself I was reminded of a [TS]

00:57:34   lot of these types of lines and it was [TS]

00:57:36   like okay this is good that's [TS]

00:57:38   interesting okay so you saw the [TS]

00:57:39   similarities to that too yeah I've only [TS]

00:57:41   just heard about this in like a [TS]

00:57:42   secondhand way and I just think like [TS]

00:57:44   okay this this sounds like a very [TS]

00:57:45   similar idea and at least talking to my [TS]

00:57:47   family member who does it seems like if [TS]

00:57:49   you've got serious business about [TS]

00:57:51   behavior change in humans this seems to [TS]

00:57:52   be one of the most effective ways to go [TS]

00:57:54   about it like as far as as far as we [TS]

00:57:55   know right now I also I did just really [TS]

00:57:58   like the I think there is a way that he [TS]

00:58:01   phrased something which is a better way [TS]

00:58:03   of phrasing an idea that you and I have [TS]

00:58:05   sometimes spoken about like how we don't [TS]

00:58:08   really follow the news right orient or [TS]

00:58:10   intentionally not following a whole [TS]

00:58:11   bunch of things and I'm always I'm [TS]

00:58:15   always trying to encourage people to [TS]

00:58:17   just sort of I don't really like be less [TS]

00:58:20   aware of the world but in a sense I kind [TS]

00:58:22   of been like focus on the things that [TS]

00:58:23   you can do but I did really like his [TS]

00:58:26   phrasing of this idea that that [TS]

00:58:28   everybody has this circle of things that [TS]

00:58:30   they're concerned about and that circle [TS]

00:58:34   is larger than the things that you can [TS]

00:58:36   influence and I did think that language [TS]

00:58:39   change was is an interesting way to [TS]

00:58:41   frame it because it's like oh of course [TS]

00:58:43   people get trapped and caught up in [TS]

00:58:48   constantly thinking about the things [TS]

00:58:50   that are inside their circle of concern [TS]

00:58:53   but that are outside their circle of [TS]

00:58:55   influence and I just I thought like [TS]

00:58:58   that's a really interesting way to [TS]

00:59:01   differently frame this idea and I think [TS]

00:59:05   that is also again like maybe for a [TS]

00:59:08   person at the right moment that idea can [TS]

00:59:10   be really liberating to recognize that [TS]

00:59:13   like yes there are there are many things [TS]

00:59:14   you may be concerned about over which [TS]

00:59:17   you have absolutely no influence and so [TS]

00:59:20   you have to make a decision about not [TS]

00:59:23   obsessively thinking about that stuff or [TS]

00:59:26   working to expand your circle of [TS]

00:59:29   influence so that you can actually do [TS]

00:59:31   something about it [TS]

00:59:31   that is no longer out outside of your [TS]

00:59:34   power so I I thought that was also like [TS]

00:59:36   a [TS]

00:59:37   a good way to frame this concept of like [TS]

00:59:41   selective ignorance in a way habit 2 is [TS]

00:59:45   begin with the end in mind now I thought [TS]

00:59:49   that this habit went off the rails [TS]

00:59:51   incredibly quickly but turn me around so [TS]

00:59:54   this habit is about envisioning what you [TS]

00:59:57   want in the future so you can plan and [TS]

00:59:59   work towards it [TS]

00:59:59   work towards it [TS]

01:00:00   and to be effect and the idea is to be [TS]

01:00:02   effective you need to act based on [TS]

01:00:04   principles and constantly reviewing a [TS]

01:00:06   mission statement that you create so [TS]

01:00:08   there are two main things in this part [TS]

01:00:10   which is one the envisioning of the [TS]

01:00:12   future and then the second is the [TS]

01:00:13   mission statement now [TS]

01:00:15   I it was really interesting to me [TS]

01:00:18   because these things were both [TS]

01:00:19   introduced and my mind was changed about [TS]

01:00:22   each of them in a 180 so the first is [TS]

01:00:25   the way he begins talking about [TS]

01:00:27   envisioning your future is let's picture [TS]

01:00:29   your funeral and my eyes nearly roll dry [TS]

01:00:32   all my I do I had the exact same [TS]

01:00:35   experience of like and he's the idea is [TS]

01:00:39   what would you like to hear people say [TS]

01:00:42   about you like and the idea is someone [TS]

01:00:44   that you work with someone who would [TS]

01:00:46   talk about your character and someone [TS]

01:00:47   who would be a friend or family member [TS]

01:00:49   and what difference would you like to [TS]

01:00:51   have on people's lives and he says to [TS]

01:00:52   work out like you know write down what [TS]

01:00:54   you would want and by the end of this [TS]

01:00:57   whilst he was clearly going for a shock [TS]

01:00:59   factor with the let's picture your [TS]

01:01:02   funeral I found it an interesting [TS]

01:01:05   exercise because trying to think about [TS]

01:01:08   what do I want to be thought as people [TS]

01:01:13   that I work with people that I care [TS]

01:01:16   about how do I want them to think of me [TS]

01:01:18   like how would I want them to describe [TS]

01:01:21   me it doesn't need to be at my funeral [TS]

01:01:22   right but there was a bit too much but [TS]

01:01:24   what Waddell and I found that it's don't [TS]

01:01:27   worry Mike yeah I found that to be an [TS]

01:01:30   interesting exercise that I took [TS]

01:01:33   something from write like I wrote some [TS]

01:01:35   stuff down and I was like I I like this [TS]

01:01:37   this is a good thing to think about [TS]

01:01:39   because then how does that affect your [TS]

01:01:42   life and the things that you do like if [TS]

01:01:45   you want to be by the end of your life [TS]

01:01:47   seen as these three or four things how [TS]

01:01:49   do you get there and what path do you [TS]

01:01:51   take to make sure you don't deviate from [TS]

01:01:53   them I found that to be very interesting [TS]

01:01:56   so beginning with the end in mind so [TS]

01:01:57   setting up your plan now for how you [TS]

01:02:00   want to be seen at the end I kind of [TS]

01:02:02   like them yeah I also couldn't deal with [TS]

01:02:07   the funeral thing so much it was silly [TS]

01:02:09   yeah and for me it's it's overblown and [TS]

01:02:12   like [TS]

01:02:13   we really pompous in it in a way yeah [TS]

01:02:15   like oh he's surrounded by all these [TS]

01:02:17   these loving people nobody nobody has a [TS]

01:02:19   better thing to do on a Tuesday [TS]

01:02:20   afternoon and then go to your funeral [TS]

01:02:21   right it's like whatever but but it [TS]

01:02:26   again it does it does have a point [TS]

01:02:28   and there's there's a way of I think the [TS]

01:02:34   life scale is too big but it is an [TS]

01:02:38   interesting question when people are [TS]

01:02:39   working on projects of I kind of like to [TS]

01:02:42   phrase it it like what is the best thing [TS]

01:02:43   that could possibly come out of what [TS]

01:02:45   you're working on right now like if like [TS]

01:02:46   if everything went absolutely great [TS]

01:02:48   what's the what's the biggest possible [TS]

01:02:50   upside of this thing that you're working [TS]

01:02:52   on and and very often like if you sort [TS]

01:02:54   of think about that you can realize that [TS]

01:02:57   some some projects just aren't worth [TS]

01:02:59   spending the time on but but people can [TS]

01:03:02   end up starting them I think because [TS]

01:03:03   they're sort of skipping this idea of [TS]

01:03:06   thinking about what does the final [TS]

01:03:09   version of this look like so yeah I [TS]

01:03:12   think the the whole arc of your life [TS]

01:03:16   doesn't doesn't really work for me but I [TS]

01:03:17   I think this is a valuable concept on a [TS]

01:03:20   smaller scale of have a clear idea in [TS]

01:03:22   your mind of what you're trying to [TS]

01:03:24   achieve and and that will help direct [TS]

01:03:27   your actions towards what it is you [TS]

01:03:29   actually want to need to do in order to [TS]

01:03:31   make that happen [TS]

01:03:32   then the second part of this is the [TS]

01:03:35   personal mission statement which is the [TS]

01:03:36   thing that you create and adapt an [TS]

01:03:39   update throughout your life to try and [TS]

01:03:41   keep you on the course [TS]

01:03:42   towards what you want to be remembered [TS]

01:03:43   for and I was like that's an interesting [TS]

01:03:46   idea until the personal mission [TS]

01:03:48   statement became three - four - five - [TS]

01:03:51   six - seven paragraphs long I was [TS]

01:03:54   expecting a sentence or two right like a [TS]

01:03:56   real kind of like a thing you could put [TS]

01:03:58   on the wall and you could look at it [TS]

01:03:59   every day and be like that's what I want [TS]

01:04:01   to be but these patient personal mission [TS]

01:04:04   statements were like novella lengths for [TS]

01:04:06   each person that was talking about them [TS]

01:04:08   and it completely lost me right like [TS]

01:04:10   rising like Covey's not come he's not a [TS]

01:04:13   brief guy right now it's not anything [TS]

01:04:15   that his his personal mission statement [TS]

01:04:17   would be like let's sit down and write a [TS]

01:04:19   little novella but then like every [TS]

01:04:21   example he was giving for these totally [TS]

01:04:23   100% real people was the same right and [TS]

01:04:26   it was like it was so [TS]

01:04:27   referring to me because it built built [TS]

01:04:29   me up right to this idea I was like I am [TS]

01:04:31   on board with this this is really great [TS]

01:04:33   and then it was like you've you've [TS]

01:04:35   destroyed it because I don't want to [TS]

01:04:37   have to sit on a beach for an hour like [TS]

01:04:40   you do every year to write my mission [TS]

01:04:43   statement like this is something that if [TS]

01:04:45   I'm gonna do this I want it to be a [TS]

01:04:47   short thing he actually at one point [TS]

01:04:49   compares it in length and importance to [TS]

01:04:51   the American Constitution right do you [TS]

01:04:56   understand that maybe you've gone too [TS]

01:04:58   far at this point right and also that's [TS]

01:05:01   that's probably a big ask I like someone [TS]

01:05:03   who's reading this book and is trying to [TS]

01:05:05   turn their life around you're like look [TS]

01:05:06   just sit down and write a constitution [TS]

01:05:07   for you yeah whoa so again like I might [TS]

01:05:14   take this and twist it right and and [TS]

01:05:17   because I I have now the things that I [TS]

01:05:19   think about right like what what do I [TS]

01:05:21   want to be remembered as maybe I should [TS]

01:05:23   try and turn that into something which [TS]

01:05:25   is a bit a little bit more realistic for [TS]

01:05:26   me so it's like this again this is why I [TS]

01:05:29   am a little bit more on board at this [TS]

01:05:31   book than a myth because you know we're [TS]

01:05:34   not that far into it and I've come away [TS]

01:05:36   with some things that was not perfect [TS]

01:05:38   I actually think work pretty well mm-hmm [TS]

01:05:41   you know like this circle of influence [TS]

01:05:43   circle concern I think is very [TS]

01:05:45   interesting and it it perfectly explains [TS]

01:05:47   something that I struggled to explain to [TS]

01:05:49   people same way that you do and the idea [TS]

01:05:52   of beginning with the end in mind and [TS]

01:05:54   kind of how you want to move towards [TS]

01:05:56   creating something which can encapsulate [TS]

01:05:58   that there's some interesting stuff in [TS]

01:06:00   there for me before we move on Mike [TS]

01:06:02   though before we get on to habit three I [TS]

01:06:04   just want to pause here for a moment to [TS]

01:06:06   point out that habit two is when Stephen [TS]

01:06:08   Covey visits the same magic hotel yes [TS]

01:06:11   that isn't even a three visitors point [TS]

01:06:16   I'll actually had almost like a childish [TS]

01:06:19   Glee of like oh my god I think I was [TS]

01:06:27   walking through Covent Garden and I [TS]

01:06:29   think I started laughing out loud when [TS]

01:06:31   he when he was talking about his magic [TS]

01:06:34   hotel our favorite part of the e-myth [TS]

01:06:36   revisited is this hotel that the author [TS]

01:06:38   goes to which is completely fictional [TS]

01:06:40   cannot [TS]

01:06:41   exist in real life yeah I did some [TS]

01:06:42   digging apparently this hotel is a chain [TS]

01:06:44   and it does exist but again I don't [TS]

01:06:47   believe that it goes the way that it [TS]

01:06:48   does where this hotel created their own [TS]

01:06:51   personal mission statement which just [TS]

01:06:52   funnily enough is the same connector [TS]

01:06:54   that he uses when the book is not been [TS]

01:06:56   published because apparently that's the [TS]

01:06:58   thing and that have literally everybody [TS]

01:07:00   in the company from the housekeeping to [TS]

01:07:04   the janitors to the bellboys to the [TS]

01:07:05   everything everybody sat down and was a [TS]

01:07:08   hundred percent engaged in creating this [TS]

01:07:10   personal mission statement like don't [TS]

01:07:11   lie to me tell me if this thing exists [TS]

01:07:14   that's fine but it wasn't like that it [TS]

01:07:17   just doesn't work like that yeah there's [TS]

01:07:20   there's several things here I mean [TS]

01:07:21   according to the book this mission [TS]

01:07:24   statement for the hotel was the hub of a [TS]

01:07:26   great wheel it spawned the thoughtful [TS]

01:07:28   more specialized mission statements of [TS]

01:07:30   particular groups and employees and it [TS]

01:07:32   was used as the criteria for every [TS]

01:07:34   decision that was made it clarified what [TS]

01:07:36   people stood for how they related to the [TS]

01:07:38   customers how they related to the to [TS]

01:07:40   each other alright this is this is one [TS]

01:07:42   of these moments and there's there's a [TS]

01:07:44   example that happens a few pages earlier [TS]

01:07:45   which is a similar thing which I don't [TS]

01:07:48   know how to describe it but I think of a [TS]

01:07:49   kind as a kind of CEO disease where okay [TS]

01:07:53   let's say this hotel existed and let's [TS]

01:07:54   say the hotel got everybody from the [TS]

01:07:57   janitors to the CEO together and they [TS]

01:07:59   did all work on a mission statement and [TS]

01:08:01   some and Marana and a document was [TS]

01:08:03   created I don't know about you but my [TS]

01:08:07   experience doing that kind of stuff like [TS]

01:08:10   when I was working for someone is that [TS]

01:08:12   the rank-and-file employees are all [TS]

01:08:14   thinking like this is a total BS day [TS]

01:08:17   where we have to have a silly pointless [TS]

01:08:19   meeting and the people on top seem to [TS]

01:08:21   think that something amazing has [TS]

01:08:22   occurred and as there's I could there's [TS]

01:08:25   like a great difference in the [TS]

01:08:27   experience of what people think is [TS]

01:08:29   happening in the room right and and so [TS]

01:08:32   it's like even if this happens and I [TS]

01:08:34   believe it is like I just don't believe [TS]

01:08:36   that the like the janitors at the hotel [TS]

01:08:38   are like you know what I feel really on [TS]

01:08:40   board with the value and position of [TS]

01:08:42   this hotel like I just don't believe [TS]

01:08:43   that I think that the janitors are busy [TS]

01:08:45   thinking like man I got a lot of stuff [TS]

01:08:47   to clean up today and and this meeting [TS]

01:08:49   is just making me have to stay after [TS]

01:08:51   hours to work longer like I think that's [TS]

01:08:53   what's really happened [TS]

01:08:54   when this when this occurs the closest [TS]

01:08:56   I've ever gotten to this I worked for a [TS]

01:08:58   company when I was in college where it's [TS]

01:09:02   a big company it's a big department [TS]

01:09:04   store chain in the UK where they [TS]

01:09:07   distribute the company's profits to the [TS]

01:09:10   employees ok right there that is [TS]

01:09:12   genuinely meaningful right that's it [TS]

01:09:14   that's a different thing because it's [TS]

01:09:16   not like words on a page it's money in [TS]

01:09:18   your pocket this is a huge company make [TS]

01:09:21   a lot of money and every year every [TS]

01:09:23   single person gets a bonus which is an [TS]

01:09:25   incentive of their salary from [TS]

01:09:28   interesting the person who is pushing [TS]

01:09:30   shopping carts through the parking lot [TS]

01:09:34   to the CEO everybody gets the same [TS]

01:09:37   percentage obviously the amount differs [TS]

01:09:39   but everybody gets the same percentage [TS]

01:09:40   that percentage shrinks or grows [TS]

01:09:42   depending on how well the company does [TS]

01:09:44   and I saw things in that working for [TS]

01:09:47   that company that I have never seen [TS]

01:09:48   since like for example the last person [TS]

01:09:51   who leaves the staff changing room turns [TS]

01:09:53   the lights off at night because the [TS]

01:09:54   electricity bill goes towards the bonus [TS]

01:09:56   like little things like that where I saw [TS]

01:10:00   a lot more buying in that company than [TS]

01:10:02   I've seen in any other company because [TS]

01:10:04   there is an actual thing that you can [TS]

01:10:07   point to to show that if we all work [TS]

01:10:09   towards this together we get something [TS]

01:10:13   yeah that is it that is a perfect [TS]

01:10:16   example of what I always feel like what [TS]

01:10:18   really matters is it's not there's not [TS]

01:10:20   words it's not trying harder it's a [TS]

01:10:23   structure that encourages or rewards the [TS]

01:10:26   actual behavior that you want all right [TS]

01:10:28   and you know it in these in this book [TS]

01:10:32   it's so clear that is like if you're the [TS]

01:10:34   leader of a company your words are just [TS]

01:10:36   our magic pixie dust that spread on your [TS]

01:10:38   employees and then and then they just [TS]

01:10:40   behave in ways that you want them to do [TS]

01:10:41   it's like that is that is not the way it [TS]

01:10:43   is and yeah your your description of [TS]

01:10:45   that is interesting that's like oh look [TS]

01:10:46   if you set up an actual structure that [TS]

01:10:49   encourages the behavior that you want [TS]

01:10:50   you're probably going to get more of the [TS]

01:10:52   behavior that you want but the but the [TS]

01:10:54   thing is like that might cost you in [TS]

01:10:56   other ways but you can't you can't just [TS]

01:10:58   say costless words and get the same [TS]

01:11:01   results have it three put first things [TS]

01:11:06   first [TS]

01:11:07   so this talks about the difference [TS]

01:11:08   between leadership and management [TS]

01:11:09   leadership in the outside world begins a [TS]

01:11:12   personal vision and personal leadership [TS]

01:11:13   and it also took switch all of that [TS]

01:11:16   stuff leadership and management I have [TS]

01:11:17   no time for I've heard too much of it I [TS]

01:11:19   can't talk about it I have literally no [TS]

01:11:22   personal notes about that entire part of [TS]

01:11:24   the book because I could give a crap [TS]

01:11:26   about the difference between leadership [TS]

01:11:27   and management yeah right yeah that this [TS]

01:11:30   kind of stuff is like skim skim skim but [TS]

01:11:32   but for me habit 3 but first things [TS]

01:11:35   first this is where when I say my review [TS]

01:11:36   was one good idea in a thousand pages [TS]

01:11:38   this is the chapter that to me had the [TS]

01:11:42   one good idea yes and I I you know [TS]

01:11:46   wouldn't you know what I'm going for I [TS]

01:11:47   knew you were gonna like this right okay [TS]

01:11:49   yeah so I don't know if this is here's a [TS]

01:11:53   question I don't know if this is [TS]

01:11:54   original to Stephen Covey like I've I [TS]

01:11:56   was I was trying to do a little bit of a [TS]

01:11:58   digging of digging around and it seems [TS]

01:11:59   like this idea predates him but it [TS]

01:12:01   doesn't matter because this is the first [TS]

01:12:02   place that I came across this idea where [TS]

01:12:06   he talks about time management matrix [TS]

01:12:09   and the time management matrix is this [TS]

01:12:12   four by four grid where you talk about [TS]

01:12:15   all of you everything that you have to [TS]

01:12:18   do you can categorize in a couple of [TS]

01:12:21   ways right you have things that are [TS]

01:12:22   urgent and things that are not urgent [TS]

01:12:25   and you have things that are important [TS]

01:12:27   and you have things that are not [TS]

01:12:29   important so you can think about your [TS]

01:12:31   tasks in that way and that ends up with [TS]

01:12:34   what he like he labels as these little [TS]

01:12:36   boxes right so like box one is stuff [TS]

01:12:38   that is urgent and important right and [TS]

01:12:40   then you have like box three is stuff [TS]

01:12:43   that is urgent but not important and you [TS]

01:12:46   can move around all these different [TS]

01:12:47   categories and this is the thing that I [TS]

01:12:51   really like because it's a it's a clear [TS]

01:12:55   way to frame your work that I think is [TS]

01:13:00   non-obvious to lots of people and the [TS]

01:13:03   idea that it is so easy to get sucked up [TS]

01:13:07   into work that is urgent but not [TS]

01:13:11   important like this is like this is a [TS]

01:13:14   death trap of productivity and I [TS]

01:13:17   remember really trying to apply this in [TS]

01:13:20   a whole bunch [TS]

01:13:20   waise and and and really really feeling [TS]

01:13:23   like I get this idea that you know in [TS]

01:13:27   order to make significant progress like [TS]

01:13:29   you're gonna have to drop a bunch of [TS]

01:13:31   stuff that is urgent but not important [TS]

01:13:34   and instead just focus on the things [TS]

01:13:36   that are not urgent but are important [TS]

01:13:40   like there's there's trade-offs you're [TS]

01:13:42   going to have to let some stuff slide [TS]

01:13:44   and here is a good matrix for making a [TS]

01:13:47   decision about in the universe of the [TS]

01:13:50   infinite number of things that you can [TS]

01:13:52   do these are the things that you should [TS]

01:13:54   drop and this is the one section of the [TS]

01:13:55   book that I think benefits from he has [TS]

01:13:57   more concrete examples here where he's [TS]

01:14:00   talking about like you are having a [TS]

01:14:02   conversation with someone and then the [TS]

01:14:03   phone rings while you're talking to them [TS]

01:14:05   like the phone is the thing that is [TS]

01:14:06   urgent right but the person that you're [TS]

01:14:08   talking to was important but it's [TS]

01:14:10   incredibly hard for almost everybody to [TS]

01:14:12   like resist the the ringing of the phone [TS]

01:14:14   and he goes through a bunch of these [TS]

01:14:16   things I think it's really good and I [TS]

01:14:18   also like he you know he's talking about [TS]

01:14:21   this idea that a lot of these longer [TS]

01:14:25   thing longer term things that you can [TS]

01:14:27   work on that are not urgent but [TS]

01:14:28   important are also the things that give [TS]

01:14:31   you more time later because like you're [TS]

01:14:33   establishing a much more solid [TS]

01:14:35   foundation about how your routine and [TS]

01:14:37   how your work life goes and so this to [TS]

01:14:39   me is like the core of the book is this [TS]

01:14:42   little section which is at the end of of [TS]

01:14:44   habit 3 and I think it's the the most [TS]

01:14:47   valuable per page section of the book so [TS]

01:14:51   I did really like this I liked the idea [TS]

01:14:53   of one of the things that comes out of [TS]

01:14:56   this is learning to be able to say no to [TS]

01:14:58   things right from knowing that you have [TS]

01:15:02   a better yes available to you yeah yeah [TS]

01:15:06   I loved I mean I've heard a million [TS]

01:15:08   times and said a million times about [TS]

01:15:10   being able to say no and understanding [TS]

01:15:12   how they would say no and actually [TS]

01:15:14   saying though but the idea of the second [TS]

01:15:17   part of that which is because you know [TS]

01:15:19   there are better yeses available to you [TS]

01:15:21   it's very interesting to me like [TS]

01:15:23   understanding and what is important to [TS]

01:15:25   you so you can help better gauge [TS]

01:15:28   opportunities like if you get something [TS]

01:15:30   that comes to you which is urgent but [TS]

01:15:32   not important [TS]

01:15:33   and you can say no to it [TS]

01:15:34   because there might be something that is [TS]

01:15:37   urgent and important that you will need [TS]

01:15:39   to deal with soon and like a lot of [TS]

01:15:40   these like meetings many meetings that [TS]

01:15:43   might come up immediately say no to [TS]

01:15:45   write the qidan maybe don't need to be [TS]

01:15:48   at that meeting because you have [TS]

01:15:49   something that you know is gonna be [TS]

01:15:50   there which is important for you so the [TS]

01:15:53   idea of knowing you have better yes is [TS]

01:15:55   available understanding what is [TS]

01:15:57   important to you and what is urgent to [TS]

01:15:58   you and focus on those things and then [TS]

01:16:00   finding ways to delegate and or not do [TS]

01:16:03   the other stuff very powerful way of [TS]

01:16:05   thinking about it and you know drawing [TS]

01:16:08   out this grid the time management matrix [TS]

01:16:10   that he talks about I've drawn it out in [TS]

01:16:13   my Apple notes as he was explaining it [TS]

01:16:14   and I liked the way that that all looked [TS]

01:16:16   it's difficult to explain but simple to [TS]

01:16:18   say and you can find this stuff and I'll [TS]

01:16:20   find some links and put them into the [TS]

01:16:22   notes so you can see what it looks like [TS]

01:16:23   if you can actually see it it starts to [TS]

01:16:25   make a lot more sense the rest of this [TS]

01:16:27   chapter though a lot of it may be the [TS]

01:16:30   net like two-thirds of it is talking [TS]

01:16:32   about time management methods didn't [TS]

01:16:34   didn't care it was just happening to me [TS]

01:16:36   I'm not interested from 1989 talking to [TS]

01:16:41   me about time management because the [TS]

01:16:43   tools are not the same anymore and I [TS]

01:16:46   know some of the fundamental purposes [TS]

01:16:48   and the fundamental ideas will be the [TS]

01:16:50   same but here's at points talking about [TS]

01:16:52   specific functions and tools and like [TS]

01:16:55   planners and notebooks it's like no like [TS]

01:16:58   I might or might not use something like [TS]

01:16:59   this but there are better systems out [TS]

01:17:01   there now stuff like bullet journaling [TS]

01:17:02   which I'm more interested in looking at [TS]

01:17:05   than listening to Stephen Covey in 1989 [TS]

01:17:07   telling me how to manage my time I feel [TS]

01:17:10   like a pre-internet age book is maybe [TS]

01:17:13   not the best place to get this stuff [TS]

01:17:14   from [TS]

01:17:15   ya know it's not good for this stuff and [TS]

01:17:18   while I do really like that section and [TS]

01:17:20   and you know it's it's maybe like three [TS]

01:17:22   or four pages where he's going a few how [TS]

01:17:24   to think about this then I feel like oh [TS]

01:17:27   the book the book briefly elevates to [TS]

01:17:29   something good and then it quickly [TS]

01:17:30   descends because at the end that there's [TS]

01:17:32   there's a section where where he's [TS]

01:17:34   posing the question to himself about [TS]

01:17:35   like but how do you know what is [TS]

01:17:38   important and like well that's it that's [TS]

01:17:39   a good question all right Leila how do [TS]

01:17:41   you know what is important in your life [TS]

01:17:43   and the answer is your principle Center [TS]

01:17:46   your self-awareness and your [TS]

01:17:48   consciousness [TS]

01:17:48   can provide a high degree of intrinsic [TS]

01:17:50   security guidance and wisdom to empower [TS]

01:17:52   you to use your independent will and [TS]

01:17:55   maintain integrity to that which is [TS]

01:17:57   truly important that's like go to hell [TS]

01:18:01   man right like there's not an aunt like [TS]

01:18:02   you'll just like this is this is again [TS]

01:18:05   like the recurring theme of like you'll [TS]

01:18:07   just make good decisions like oh you'll [TS]

01:18:09   just know what's truly it was like don't [TS]

01:18:12   say anything if you're gonna say that [TS]

01:18:14   because you might as well not say [TS]

01:18:15   anything in a bit but yeah it the the [TS]

01:18:19   after that section like the chapter [TS]

01:18:20   rapidly descends and I do have to say [TS]

01:18:23   we're up to we're up to habit 3 and from [TS]

01:18:27   from this point on the book to me [TS]

01:18:29   descends rapidly into worthlessness like [TS]

01:18:33   I think 99% of the value is in the first [TS]

01:18:38   three chapters and you could take those [TS]

01:18:40   three first three chapters and decrease [TS]

01:18:42   them by 75% and get out out from the [TS]

01:18:46   book most of what you're going to get [TS]

01:18:47   out of it okay so I'm mostly agree of [TS]

01:18:50   you and I wonder if this is a thing [TS]

01:18:52   about me and you as opposed to the book [TS]

01:18:56   the first three chapters are focus [TS]

01:19:01   mostly on working on your own skills and [TS]

01:19:05   how you make yourself more effective the [TS]

01:19:09   next three are about working with other [TS]

01:19:11   people in what seems to be focused on [TS]

01:19:15   large groups and lots of people and I [TS]

01:19:20   think that there is a lot of this stuff [TS]

01:19:21   which is like how are you more effective [TS]

01:19:24   in a business meeting with 12 people in [TS]

01:19:26   the room how are you more effective in [TS]

01:19:28   doing a deal with a multinational [TS]

01:19:30   corporation like things that I think [TS]

01:19:33   that me and you have mostly moved away [TS]

01:19:36   from in our lives because that's not the [TS]

01:19:38   type of work that interests us like we [TS]

01:19:40   are more focused on being independent [TS]

01:19:42   and having our own small businesses as [TS]

01:19:44   opposed to being a cog in an a huge [TS]

01:19:47   machine which I think habits four or [TS]

01:19:49   five and six seem to focus a lot more on [TS]

01:19:52   like they seem to be really focused on [TS]

01:19:55   working in a corporation that's what I'm [TS]

01:19:58   trying to get to with this like they [TS]

01:20:01   seem to be way more folk [TS]

01:20:02   on how do you become the best employee [TS]

01:20:06   out of the 10,000 employees of your [TS]

01:20:09   company and I wonder if maybe me and you [TS]

01:20:13   don't take so much because I don't I [TS]

01:20:14   didn't really like all of the stuff that [TS]

01:20:16   I like is in one two and three four five [TS]

01:20:19   and six there is some nuggets in there [TS]

01:20:21   that are interesting but there is like [TS]

01:20:23   one or two of the inhabits that are just [TS]

01:20:25   completely pointless to me mm-hmm [TS]

01:20:27   and I wonder if it's just something [TS]

01:20:29   about how me and you think or if they [TS]

01:20:32   are mostly that way I don't know yeah [TS]

01:20:35   there is something to that that this is [TS]

01:20:36   less focused to us it's funny I didn't [TS]

01:20:41   so much get the feeling that this is [TS]

01:20:43   necessarily part of being a very large [TS]

01:20:45   group [TS]

01:20:46   I got obviously the whole point of the [TS]

01:20:48   next three is it is about working with [TS]

01:20:50   people but I didn't have that feeling so [TS]

01:20:52   much that it's it's like you're you're a [TS]

01:20:54   cog in this machine [TS]

01:20:56   maybe it's partly because he's so still [TS]

01:20:58   much incredibly talking about his family [TS]

01:21:00   like in win-win solutions for him and [TS]

01:21:02   his wife and there is there is a [TS]

01:21:03   possibility I'm applying this to things [TS]

01:21:05   that I have experienced yeah that you're [TS]

01:21:08   thinking of it in this way but I also I [TS]

01:21:11   also think that it the the like the [TS]

01:21:16   ratio of the idea to the practicality of [TS]

01:21:18   it drops to absolutely nothing like the [TS]

01:21:21   win-win chapter in particular this is [TS]

01:21:23   habit fall think win-win yeah before [TS]

01:21:26   think win-win has some of the most crazy [TS]

01:21:28   stories in in terms of the way to come [TS]

01:21:33   up with win-win solutions is to have a [TS]

01:21:35   great win-win solution for everybody and [TS]

01:21:37   and that's like just over and over again [TS]

01:21:40   where it's like oh there's two people [TS]

01:21:42   who didn't agree but then someone came [TS]

01:21:43   up with a win-win solution right that [TS]

01:21:45   that's served them both and there's [TS]

01:21:46   something that to me that felts like so [TS]

01:21:48   artificially constructed about these [TS]

01:21:50   scenarios and it's like man most of the [TS]

01:21:53   time if you're having a real [TS]

01:21:54   disagreement with someone is like the [TS]

01:21:56   hard part is finding a win-win solution [TS]

01:21:58   is not the idea of gee I wish there is [TS]

01:22:01   something that both of us could get out [TS]

01:22:03   of this right like it's it's I found [TS]

01:22:06   that these next chapters just have very [TS]

01:22:08   very little actionable nacinda minute [TS]

01:22:09   and it goes into real crazy town of like [TS]

01:22:12   things are good when they're good and [TS]

01:22:14   and do the right stuff there was a lot [TS]

01:22:18   of habit for think win-win that was [TS]

01:22:21   gibberish to me mostly the amount of [TS]

01:22:24   different win lose lose win lose lose [TS]

01:22:26   win lose there is it reminding me there [TS]

01:22:32   is a scene in the office I things like a [TS]

01:22:33   whole episode oh my god I was thinking [TS]

01:22:36   of the exact same thing yeah I know what [TS]

01:22:38   you're talking about when like it's like [TS]

01:22:40   home they must have got it from this [TS]

01:22:41   book I can't imagine any other way but [TS]

01:22:43   it's the idea is balancing decisions and [TS]

01:22:47   actions in such a way that everybody [TS]

01:22:48   benefits and that relationships don't [TS]

01:22:51   get damaged so you get what you want all [TS]

01:22:53   relationships don't get damaged because [TS]

01:22:55   you've given in to somebody else there [TS]

01:22:57   is something interesting in that which [TS]

01:23:00   is oh it relates to something I did we [TS]

01:23:02   didn't talk about which is the emotional [TS]

01:23:04   bank account the emotional bank account [TS]

01:23:07   is something a part of habit 3 this is [TS]

01:23:09   one of the many ideas the Covey creates [TS]

01:23:12   however whilst again he goes on way too [TS]

01:23:15   long talking about this the idea of the [TS]

01:23:17   emotional bank account I found to be an [TS]

01:23:19   interesting one and it is the idea is [TS]

01:23:21   that the amount of trust that you built [TS]

01:23:23   as somebody helps you work with them in [TS]

01:23:26   whatever it is in your life family [TS]

01:23:28   business relationships and you make [TS]

01:23:31   deposits to the bank account through [TS]

01:23:32   doing good things and you make [TS]

01:23:34   withdrawals from the emotional bank [TS]

01:23:35   account through mistakes that you make [TS]

01:23:37   bad things that you do but they're just [TS]

01:23:39   withdrawals because you've made so many [TS]

01:23:40   deposits that they just take a little [TS]

01:23:42   bit from it rather than destroying [TS]

01:23:44   everything this is the emotional bank [TS]

01:23:45   account again I liked it when he [TS]

01:23:47   proposed it but by the end of the book [TS]

01:23:49   I'd heard it too many times [TS]

01:23:50   but he applies the win-win idea to the [TS]

01:23:53   emotional bank account because if you [TS]

01:23:55   are not thinking in a win-win scenario [TS]

01:23:56   you may withdraw too much from the bank [TS]

01:23:59   account because people are losing that [TS]

01:24:00   kind of idea these two things they marry [TS]

01:24:03   into each other in a way of trying to [TS]

01:24:05   make sure you balance decisions so that [TS]

01:24:08   everybody remains happy and trustful in [TS]

01:24:11   a relationship of subscription mm-hmm [TS]

01:24:13   but the win-win stuff it's like he could [TS]

01:24:16   have actually spoken about it in five [TS]

01:24:18   minutes but instead he took an hour and [TS]

01:24:19   a half like there is too much stuff in [TS]

01:24:21   this and it becomes baffling to under [TS]

01:24:25   and by the time he's done with her like [TS]

01:24:28   just like I don't I I tried and could [TS]

01:24:31   not get my head around it but the idea [TS]

01:24:34   effective is just if everybody wins is [TS]

01:24:37   better for everybody's happiness in the [TS]

01:24:38   long term like you don't run a shaft [TS]

01:24:40   somebody now because later on you may [TS]

01:24:43   lose their business you know and he [TS]

01:24:46   gives some wild examples of huge deals [TS]

01:24:50   he left on the table and then companies [TS]

01:24:52   come back and give them every penny that [TS]

01:24:54   they've ever made just for the pleasure [TS]

01:24:55   of working with him but I will say in my [TS]

01:25:00   work in my business part of what I do is [TS]

01:25:02   advertising sales I have always tried to [TS]

01:25:06   work in this way of like if you try and [TS]

01:25:08   have a good relationship with people [TS]

01:25:09   they're maybe going to be more likely to [TS]

01:25:11   come back to you in the future and if [TS]

01:25:13   you maybe try and squeeze every penny [TS]

01:25:14   out of somebody you may harm the [TS]

01:25:17   relationship like that is the Nugget [TS]

01:25:20   here which is interesting but the [TS]

01:25:22   problem with this habit with this [TS]

01:25:23   chapter is it incredibly overblown to [TS]

01:25:27   the point of almost nonsensical yes yeah [TS]

01:25:30   and it's all there's also something [TS]

01:25:31   about this chapter which strikes me as [TS]

01:25:34   [Music] [TS]

01:25:35   this may be unfair but it strikes me a [TS]

01:25:37   little bit as like let's just teach [TS]

01:25:39   murderers not to murder like I think [TS]

01:25:41   people who are really focused on the [TS]

01:25:43   idea of like I'm gonna I'm gonna screw [TS]

01:25:45   over my business partners to get every [TS]

01:25:46   last penny today like I don't I don't [TS]

01:25:48   think those people you're gonna do a [TS]

01:25:49   great job of explaining the concept of [TS]

01:25:52   long-term human relationships I think [TS]

01:25:54   people are again like in my experience [TS]

01:25:58   in business as well as like people are [TS]

01:26:00   already naturally on board with this [TS]

01:26:02   idea or they aren't and I just don't [TS]

01:26:04   think there's a lot of motion across the [TS]

01:26:07   aisle on this topic so it strikes me as [TS]

01:26:11   a like a somewhat pointless topic [TS]

01:26:13   today's episode of cortex is brought to [TS]

01:26:16   you by timing the automatic time [TS]

01:26:18   tracking app for Mac hey time tracking [TS]

01:26:21   we spoke about that a bunch on this show [TS]

01:26:23   some of you love it [TS]

01:26:24   some of you find it tricky it doesn't [TS]

01:26:25   matter what it is I know that time [TS]

01:26:26   tracking can be a tricky thing [TS]

01:26:28   mostly for a lot of people because you [TS]

01:26:30   have to start and stop timers it [TS]

01:26:31   interrupts your workflow and honesty you [TS]

01:26:33   often forget to do it sometimes but why [TS]

01:26:36   should you be the one that has to do [TS]

01:26:37   all that work timing automatically [TS]

01:26:40   tracks how much time you're spending in [TS]

01:26:41   each app document and even website so [TS]

01:26:44   you no longer have to worry about [TS]

01:26:45   starting or stopping a timer ever again [TS]

01:26:48   and because timing collects more data [TS]

01:26:50   than a regular time tracker is use [TS]

01:26:52   extends far beyond billing hours it [TS]

01:26:54   shows you exactly when you were using [TS]

01:26:57   which app or website when you slacked [TS]

01:26:59   off and how productive you've been so [TS]

01:27:01   you know how to improve your [TS]

01:27:02   productivity going forward but timing [TS]

01:27:04   knows that your work doesn't just happen [TS]

01:27:06   on your Mac and that's why timings [TS]

01:27:07   timeline automatically make suggestions [TS]

01:27:09   for filling gaps in your timeline and [TS]

01:27:12   can ask you what you did offline every [TS]

01:27:15   time you return to your Mac that way [TS]

01:27:16   you'll never forget to enter a meeting [TS]

01:27:18   again there are loads of great grass and [TS]

01:27:21   chance that break down not just the apps [TS]

01:27:23   that I've been using but also [TS]

01:27:25   categorizations of the types of tasks [TS]

01:27:27   that I will be completing in them these [TS]

01:27:29   categories can be completely customized [TS]

01:27:31   so when I'm for example in logic I can [TS]

01:27:33   say oh whenever I'm in logic I'm editing [TS]

01:27:35   a podcast and that's an easy thing to do [TS]

01:27:37   and then everything that I can tag [TS]

01:27:38   arises podcasts can all go into one bin [TS]

01:27:40   one to one category no matter what type [TS]

01:27:43   of app but it is timing can even give [TS]

01:27:45   you a sense of what your most productive [TS]

01:27:46   times are based upon the data it sees [TS]

01:27:49   from a perspective of week days all the [TS]

01:27:52   way down to hours which is awesome these [TS]

01:27:55   tools are great for just entering this [TS]

01:27:57   information but what you really get the [TS]

01:27:58   benefit from is being able to get graphs [TS]

01:28:01   and charts and statistics and figures [TS]

01:28:03   because then you can use the information [TS]

01:28:06   that you're logging all the information [TS]

01:28:08   in time is case that is being logged [TS]

01:28:09   automatically for you because it's [TS]

01:28:11   awesome like that to make some real [TS]

01:28:13   changes about the way that you get your [TS]

01:28:15   work done you can download the free [TS]

01:28:17   14-day trial by going to timing app [TS]

01:28:20   comScore tech save 10% when you purchase [TS]

01:28:23   and timing is also available on set app [TS]

01:28:26   just check out the timing website for [TS]

01:28:28   more details on that so go to timing app [TS]

01:28:30   calm / cortex find out more right now [TS]

01:28:33   get the 14-day free trial save 10% or [TS]

01:28:35   check it out on set app as well timing [TS]

01:28:37   stop worrying about time and focus on [TS]

01:28:40   doing your best work instead have it 5 [TS]

01:28:43   seek first to understand then to be [TS]

01:28:46   understood use empathetic listening to [TS]

01:28:49   genuinely understand [TS]

01:28:51   which compels them to reciprocate the [TS]

01:28:53   listening and take an open mind to being [TS]

01:28:55   influenced by you mm-hmm okay so if I [TS]

01:28:59   was gonna say the one interesting thing [TS]

01:29:01   in this diagnosed before you prescribe [TS]

01:29:03   that's all this needs to be he explains [TS]

01:29:05   it pretty well with a nother ludicrous [TS]

01:29:07   example of how likely everyone in his [TS]

01:29:10   town was a football game and his [TS]

01:29:14   daughter was sick and she was a newborn [TS]

01:29:17   and there was meta it's like it was this [TS]

01:29:18   wild thing that explains the idea of [TS]

01:29:21   before you try and tell someone what to [TS]

01:29:23   do listen to them first right yeah [TS]

01:29:26   that's kind of it yeah but it is [TS]

01:29:27   massively overblown ethos pathos and [TS]

01:29:30   logos comes up at one point I ain't get [TS]

01:29:33   what that was all about the OL idea of [TS]

01:29:36   empathetic listening is interesting you [TS]

01:29:38   know you you mimic what somebody says [TS]

01:29:41   rephrase it reflect the feelings right [TS]

01:29:43   so like you listening to what people are [TS]

01:29:44   saying you're showing them that you're [TS]

01:29:46   listening by repeating to them what [TS]

01:29:47   they're saying is cetera et cetera [TS]

01:29:49   there's some interesting stuff in there [TS]

01:29:51   but this has one of the most overblown [TS]

01:29:56   examples that he gives I've been saving [TS]

01:29:59   for this moment she's way mature he is [TS]

01:30:01   talking to his son about being a [TS]

01:30:03   mechanic I got okay do you remember this [TS]

01:30:07   one I'm trying to I'm trying to remember [TS]

01:30:10   because this one was one of the like I'm [TS]

01:30:14   skipping the fastest through here [TS]

01:30:16   because I know it's like yeah I'm on [TS]

01:30:18   board with the idea of trying to [TS]

01:30:19   understand someone before you before you [TS]

01:30:22   do these things and I was I was having a [TS]

01:30:24   hard time so start start me with the [TS]

01:30:25   mechanic story because I'm not [TS]

01:30:26   remembering it off the top of my head so [TS]

01:30:28   he he's saying about I think he I don't [TS]

01:30:31   remember if he's saying this is his son [TS]

01:30:33   or he's just creating an example right [TS]

01:30:36   of and I think he might mention this at [TS]

01:30:39   one point about a kid who yeah he he [TS]

01:30:43   does actually say like this is one he's [TS]

01:30:45   just posing an idea here right I think [TS]

01:30:47   that maybe imagine is something a kid [TS]

01:30:49   who comes to their father and doesn't [TS]

01:30:52   want to go to school anymore and says I [TS]

01:30:54   don't want to go to school anymore and [TS]

01:30:56   he plays out his conversation it plays [TS]

01:30:58   both sides there's conversation and the [TS]

01:31:00   kid is like I don't want to go to school [TS]

01:31:02   and it does like what we work for [TS]

01:31:03   to send you to school and like set [TS]

01:31:05   researcher and he's playing not only [TS]

01:31:07   both of these people but also this like [TS]

01:31:09   Greek chorus of explaining the [TS]

01:31:12   imagination and mind would about people [TS]

01:31:15   were feeling at this moment of lightning [TS]

01:31:17   and then and then he plays it again but [TS]

01:31:22   speaking both as the PAS as the child [TS]

01:31:25   but also was the child's in a monologue [TS]

01:31:29   at that moment of being like he doesn't [TS]

01:31:31   want to listen to me wide right why does [TS]

01:31:34   he hate me and then plays this other way [TS]

01:31:36   of like if you did it with empathic [TS]

01:31:39   listening how it would improve the [TS]

01:31:42   situation to the point where the kid who [TS]

01:31:45   doesn't want to go to school because [TS]

01:31:47   he's talking about like there's a friend [TS]

01:31:49   of his or like a friend of a family [TS]

01:31:50   who's become a mechanic and they've done [TS]

01:31:52   well and they didn't go to school why [TS]

01:31:53   don't I do that this is like how the [TS]

01:31:55   first two examples of this goes and it [TS]

01:31:57   has like being a mechanic is ridiculous [TS]

01:31:59   you need to go and be a lawyer I don't [TS]

01:32:00   know why coffee hates mechanic so much [TS]

01:32:02   but apparently does really hates [TS]

01:32:07   mechanics it's very strange almost as [TS]

01:32:09   much as he hates television also very [TS]

01:32:11   strange like he's talking about like oh [TS]

01:32:14   don't be a mechanic and then it gets to [TS]

01:32:17   a point where the final way with the [TS]

01:32:19   father is using empathic listening the [TS]

01:32:22   kid is explaining oh but you know I want [TS]

01:32:24   to be a mechanic and the kids and then [TS]

01:32:26   the dad's like but does Joey have such a [TS]

01:32:28   great life and the kids like I don't [TS]

01:32:30   know to the point where the kid also [TS]

01:32:32   hates mechanics and he loves school it's [TS]

01:32:34   like this isn't how this conversation [TS]

01:32:36   would go it genuinely ends though with [TS]

01:32:39   him saying hmm [TS]

01:32:41   owning up to the fact that this is [TS]

01:32:43   probably not how this conversation with [TS]

01:32:44   God like that's how he finishes this in [TS]

01:32:46   a 20 minute thing and he's like I know [TS]

01:32:49   it's like I have created this example [TS]

01:32:50   and I know maybe this isn't how we'll go [TS]

01:32:53   and there are a bunch of different ways [TS]

01:32:54   that it could go but this is how [TS]

01:32:55   empathic listening might help like oh my [TS]

01:32:57   god this is so ridiculous that he can't [TS]

01:33:00   even finish it by owning like by like [TS]

01:33:03   owning it he has to loan up to the fact [TS]

01:33:05   that this is probably not how this [TS]

01:33:07   conversation would play out like why are [TS]

01:33:09   we doing this then this this was one of [TS]

01:33:13   the most wild in the book like I really [TS]

01:33:16   unlike listening to [TS]

01:33:17   and I just couldn't understand why he [TS]

01:33:19   felt the requirement to do it in this [TS]

01:33:21   way yeah I remember now going through [TS]

01:33:24   this and just being confused at the [TS]

01:33:27   multiple for like I just I don't [TS]

01:33:29   understand what's happening here like [TS]

01:33:31   it's just listening through this thing [TS]

01:33:32   and my brains not fully paying attention [TS]

01:33:34   it's like wait a minute is it the same [TS]

01:33:36   story again like am I going senile or is [TS]

01:33:38   he going see like I just remember this [TS]

01:33:40   being like a weird a weird confusing [TS]

01:33:42   masses like is there some kind of art [TS]

01:33:44   project happening in the middle of this [TS]

01:33:45   book like I don't I don't get it habit [TS]

01:33:48   six synergize oh this is maximum crazy [TS]

01:33:55   this is maximum crazy in the book this [TS]

01:33:58   is where it goes off the rails in just [TS]

01:34:01   an amazing way because here Stephen [TS]

01:34:04   Covey is is trying to say like synergy [TS]

01:34:06   is the result of all the things that we [TS]

01:34:08   have talked about before and so it's [TS]

01:34:10   like you know all these buzz words like [TS]

01:34:12   we're bringing them all back people like [TS]

01:34:13   and they're all gonna be in a row and [TS]

01:34:15   we're gonna talk about all of them [TS]

01:34:16   together and and this to me this chapter [TS]

01:34:18   is maximum crazy like his definitions of [TS]

01:34:23   synergy his stories there's one story at [TS]

01:34:27   the end that I particularly like but but [TS]

01:34:29   yeah this this one is this one is rough [TS]

01:34:31   I think there is not a single sentence [TS]

01:34:35   no value in the entire chapter so the [TS]

01:34:38   idea of habit six is to combine the [TS]

01:34:41   strengths of people through positive [TS]

01:34:42   teamwork so as to achieve goals that no [TS]

01:34:44   one could have done alone all right [TS]

01:34:46   it's not compromised by the way [TS]

01:34:48   compromise is not synergy no no [TS]

01:34:50   compromise is not synergy compromise is [TS]

01:34:52   one plus one equals one and a half Mike [TS]

01:34:54   okay let me try to explain this I don't [TS]

01:34:57   know how I'm going to be able to so [TS]

01:34:59   apparently synergy is when the whole is [TS]

01:35:02   greater than the sum of its parts in [TS]

01:35:03   synergy you could get one plus one [TS]

01:35:06   equals three or as he says one plus one [TS]

01:35:09   equals ten or ten thousand or 50,000 [TS]

01:35:13   what are you doing like if you lost your [TS]

01:35:15   mind why are you saying these numbers [TS]

01:35:17   but compromising is not synergy it is a [TS]

01:35:20   lower form of win-win if you compromise [TS]

01:35:22   it's like one plus one equals 1.5 which [TS]

01:35:26   to be honest still sounds pretty good [TS]

01:35:27   because it's you know like whatever but [TS]

01:35:29   one plus one equals one point five [TS]

01:35:31   one but synergizing is one plus one [TS]

01:35:33   equals three [TS]

01:35:34   now dear listener if you do not [TS]

01:35:36   understand this that's fine because I [TS]

01:35:38   don't either [TS]

01:35:39   I don't know what the difference is and [TS]

01:35:41   I've and I've listened to the whole book [TS]

01:35:42   just to be I mean just to be clear quote [TS]

01:35:45   synergy is the essence of [TS]

01:35:47   principle-centered leadership it is the [TS]

01:35:48   essence of principle centered parenting [TS]

01:35:50   it catalyzes unifies and unleashes the [TS]

01:35:53   greatest powers within people all the [TS]

01:35:55   habits we have covered us prepare us to [TS]

01:35:57   create the miracle of synergy which [TS]

01:36:00   which is just like algebra new algebra [TS]

01:36:02   rules and yeah it's the the chapter is [TS]

01:36:06   amazing he's really obsessed with the [TS]

01:36:08   idea of constantly referring to one plus [TS]

01:36:12   one equal in some other number like this [TS]

01:36:15   is this is his constant go-to with what [TS]

01:36:17   synergy means in this chapter - one of [TS]

01:36:20   my one of my favorite little stories [TS]

01:36:22   here which is it's almost like the [TS]

01:36:25   checkmate meme on the internet like it's [TS]

01:36:27   like happening in real conversation [TS]

01:36:29   where I don't know if you remember but [TS]

01:36:30   he's he's talking to a guy who's like [TS]

01:36:32   doubting the concept of synergy so again [TS]

01:36:37   as with all of these stories it's [TS]

01:36:39   somehow it's somehow quickly turns to [TS]

01:36:40   marriage and family everything is [TS]

01:36:42   marriage and family but so some someone [TS]

01:36:44   is doubting that this this magic of [TS]

01:36:46   synergy exists - steven covey oh god I [TS]

01:36:49   just remembered it yes so good yeah and [TS]

01:36:54   so so I think he turn he turns to the [TS]

01:36:58   guy and and the book says like I looked [TS]

01:37:01   at the two of them so it's the guy and [TS]

01:37:03   his wife yeah cuz yeah that this guy is [TS]

01:37:04   having that they're having problems in [TS]

01:37:07   their relationship and for some reason [TS]

01:37:08   so he meets this guy obviously at the [TS]

01:37:10   end of a conference and he invites [TS]

01:37:12   coffee to go to lunch with him and his [TS]

01:37:14   wife so he can listen to the way that [TS]

01:37:17   they communicate yeah yeah right and and [TS]

01:37:20   and this is this is also a thing that I [TS]

01:37:21   don't have a whole lot of tolerance for [TS]

01:37:23   words like a lot of weird 1980 science [TS]

01:37:25   about the concept of left versus right [TS]

01:37:26   brain beautiful under how you'd feel [TS]

01:37:28   about that yeah he's like he's a really [TS]

01:37:30   left brain person that used a really [TS]

01:37:31   right brain person and like this is a [TS]

01:37:33   weird idea that still still infects [TS]

01:37:35   educational pedagogy today and like all [TS]

01:37:38   of the stuff that this is based on is [TS]

01:37:39   non replicable in his nonsense oh it's [TS]

01:37:40   like okay whatever so but so steven [TS]

01:37:42   covey like professional psychologist PhD [TS]

01:37:45   like oh these these are his aligner he's [TS]

01:37:47   like oh these are these are two half [TS]

01:37:49   bringing people living together like [TS]

01:37:50   that they're having a hard time talking [TS]

01:37:51   and he says like you guys need to be [TS]

01:37:54   more synergistic in there and they're [TS]

01:37:55   saying I don't understand what you mean [TS]

01:37:56   by by synergy and so the again [TS]

01:37:59   resolution to fix this guy's marriage [TS]

01:38:01   here's how it goes [TS]

01:38:02   Stephen Covey says do you have any [TS]

01:38:05   children [TS]

01:38:05   I asked yes - really [TS]

01:38:09   I asked incredulously which feels a bit [TS]

01:38:11   presumptuous there he's and then super [TS]

01:38:15   so Stephen Covey says how did you do it [TS]

01:38:18   and they said what do you mean how did [TS]

01:38:21   we do it [TS]

01:38:21   you were synergistic I said one plus one [TS]

01:38:25   usually equals two but you made one plus [TS]

01:38:28   one equals four [TS]

01:38:29   now that's synergy the whole is greater [TS]

01:38:31   than the sum of the parts and it's like [TS]

01:38:34   you're just counting things like it's so [TS]

01:38:37   yeah well it's not like these people [TS]

01:38:40   they can't communicate they struggle to [TS]

01:38:42   communicate they seem to kind of not [TS]

01:38:44   really like each other very much anymore [TS]

01:38:45   yeah for some reason you fixed it by [TS]

01:38:47   saying they hate kids ten years ago like [TS]

01:38:49   I don't understand right the solution [TS]

01:38:52   yeah so this this this is just maximum [TS]

01:38:56   crazy in this chapter like it doesn't [TS]

01:38:58   make any sense like in his mind people [TS]

01:39:00   can only have children if they're in a [TS]

01:39:02   healthy functional relationship yeah [TS]

01:39:04   that that is like that is a good way to [TS]

01:39:06   put it like he's he's like but your [TS]

01:39:07   children are here like well I don't [TS]

01:39:08   understand that what why do you have a [TS]

01:39:10   problem don't you understand that if you [TS]

01:39:11   have children that shows that you're [TS]

01:39:14   you're great together it's like I don't [TS]

01:39:15   know man even from your telling of this [TS]

01:39:17   story it sounds like maybe they should [TS]

01:39:18   get divorced like for the minuses like [TS]

01:39:25   can he do one minus one equals negative [TS]

01:39:29   B a plus like somehow in his mind one [TS]

01:39:33   minus one would be 2 million or [TS]

01:39:35   something yeah toughing hates math like [TS]

01:39:38   he hates TV he at some point goes into [TS]

01:39:41   this run and I don't know where exactly [TS]

01:39:43   it is mm-hmm he is talking about how TV [TS]

01:39:47   is mostly bad for us and there are some [TS]

01:39:49   educational shows that are good and we [TS]

01:39:53   watch 40 hours a week of TV somehow [TS]

01:39:57   in his household they watch seven hours [TS]

01:39:59   a week and everybody is happy with that [TS]

01:40:01   like not really sure why he gets into [TS]

01:40:05   this but like he seems to feel that like [TS]

01:40:08   TV is a plague on society it's very [TS]

01:40:11   strange yeah yeah they're a bunch of [TS]

01:40:14   just digs out of nowhere at TV oh I [TS]

01:40:17   actually think it is in habit 7 which is [TS]

01:40:19   called sharpen the saw so habit 7 is [TS]

01:40:22   about the continued improvement of the [TS]

01:40:25   other habits so it is taking everything [TS]

01:40:27   that you have making and continuing over [TS]

01:40:30   your life to build and renew resources [TS]

01:40:32   energy and improve your health to create [TS]

01:40:34   a sustainable long-term effective [TS]

01:40:36   lifestyle and you have to be able to [TS]

01:40:38   sharpen the saw and make your life good [TS]

01:40:41   so you can live the rest of the habits [TS]

01:40:43   and it brings it all together and this [TS]

01:40:44   is broken down into three major parts [TS]

01:40:46   which is physical renewal which is [TS]

01:40:48   exercising something kind of referred to [TS]

01:40:50   as good service which can be considered [TS]

01:40:52   as prayer or meditation or helping in [TS]

01:40:55   your community and mental renewal which [TS]

01:40:57   is reading this is where he talks about [TS]

01:40:59   the problem of TV because he believes [TS]

01:41:01   that people should be reading all the [TS]

01:41:02   time right yeah yeah it's the reading on [TS]

01:41:06   there yeah I had nothing about this one [TS]

01:41:09   this one I it was just because by this [TS]

01:41:11   point the technical debt that he is [TS]

01:41:13   created with the phrases and the [TS]

01:41:15   buzzwords is almost monumental oh yeah [TS]

01:41:19   there was a point in this book where [TS]

01:41:21   it's like you just said 50 words and I [TS]

01:41:23   think you created 15 of them like I [TS]

01:41:25   don't understand what you're talking [TS]

01:41:28   about anymore because intro dependence [TS]

01:41:32   and interdependence you use both of them [TS]

01:41:34   and I sometimes don't know which one [TS]

01:41:36   you're talking about at this point and [TS]

01:41:41   he's trying to sum up too many things [TS]

01:41:43   that he's created yeah it it doesn't it [TS]

01:41:46   doesn't work anymore [TS]

01:41:47   it's like TLDR go to the gym and take [TS]

01:41:52   care of your mind yeah yeah like that's [TS]

01:41:54   that that's the end of it with no real [TS]

01:41:57   practical advice on anything and it's I [TS]

01:42:00   think there's actually a very [TS]

01:42:01   interesting question around this this [TS]

01:42:04   idea which he doesn't touch it all but [TS]

01:42:07   it's like you could have a much more [TS]

01:42:08   interesting conversation around this [TS]

01:42:09   because I feel like this is [TS]

01:42:10   a thing in them in the modern world [TS]

01:42:12   which is the concept of burnout like [TS]

01:42:14   people never taking time you know it to [TS]

01:42:17   have breaks or to regenerates [TS]

01:42:21   intellectual capital like or build [TS]

01:42:22   themselves back up but it's like there's [TS]

01:42:25   there could be something interesting [TS]

01:42:27   here about constantly working is [TS]

01:42:30   depleting a resource and you you have to [TS]

01:42:32   be aware of rebuilding that resource in [TS]

01:42:34   times off it is like there's no [TS]

01:42:36   discussion of that it's just continually [TS]

01:42:39   additive like you you're you're adding [TS]

01:42:41   all of these habits and all of these [TS]

01:42:44   activities into your life and they're [TS]

01:42:45   like and now on top of it like we're [TS]

01:42:46   going to add all of this community [TS]

01:42:49   service like and you're also going to be [TS]

01:42:50   reading and you're going to be going to [TS]

01:42:51   the gym and it just at this point it [TS]

01:42:53   almost feels like overwhelming the sheer [TS]

01:42:55   number of things that a person would [TS]

01:42:57   have to do to maintain all of this so [TS]

01:43:00   yeah it's there could be a good idea [TS]

01:43:02   here but this this chapter is like it is [TS]

01:43:04   at the end and you just feel like I [TS]

01:43:07   can't I can't go on alright please [TS]

01:43:09   please just please make it end please [TS]

01:43:11   make it end and that is it that's the [TS]

01:43:13   seven Habits I maintain I want to summer [TS]

01:43:16   I want to maintain III did find use in [TS]

01:43:18   this book and I get excited to talk [TS]

01:43:20   about the bad things cuz it's funny [TS]

01:43:21   right to talk about the terrible things [TS]

01:43:23   with you but I do think there are some [TS]

01:43:25   interesting things in this book that I [TS]

01:43:27   am gonna take with me you know the idea [TS]

01:43:29   of be thinking about being proactive and [TS]

01:43:32   understanding the language that I use [TS]

01:43:34   and how it affects things thinking about [TS]

01:43:36   how I want to be remembered [TS]

01:43:38   thinking about training made me create a [TS]

01:43:39   personal mission statement and what that [TS]

01:43:41   might look like as a way to sum up how I [TS]

01:43:43   want my life to go before me thinking [TS]

01:43:46   about things that are important and [TS]

01:43:48   urgent and how I delegate and the [TS]

01:43:49   emotional bank account like these are [TS]

01:43:51   things that I find genuinely [TS]

01:43:53   thought-provoking um in a way that a lot [TS]

01:43:56   of these business books don't have the [TS]

01:43:58   ability to make me think about so many [TS]

01:44:00   things as this one has done mmm [TS]

01:44:02   so I having read this book I can see why [TS]

01:44:06   it had been so popular because there are [TS]

01:44:11   things in here that are interesting [TS]

01:44:12   thirty years later to me right this book [TS]

01:44:16   is thirty nearly thirty years old and I [TS]

01:44:19   think that there is some genuinely [TS]

01:44:21   interesting stuff in this book [TS]

01:44:23   but there is also as of all of these [TS]

01:44:26   books a lot of nonsense just real [TS]

01:44:30   nonsense but and unfortunately these two [TS]

01:44:34   ideas are not real these two things are [TS]

01:44:36   not really mixed together it's like the [TS]

01:44:38   first half is good and the second half [TS]

01:44:39   is crazy which is you know they didn't [TS]

01:44:43   mix it up so it kind of lost me yeah [TS]

01:44:45   yeah I I have to hard not recommend this [TS]

01:44:50   book to anybody I just think for anybody [TS]

01:44:54   who is trying to improve their life it's [TS]

01:44:56   just it's too much to slog through it's [TS]

01:44:58   it's too incoherent and while this is [TS]

01:45:03   the foundation of very many of books in [TS]

01:45:06   this genre I think you're probably [TS]

01:45:08   better off picking up you know something [TS]

01:45:12   that is written that is more modern [TS]

01:45:13   which may be ripping off the ideas of [TS]

01:45:15   this book but but doing it in a more [TS]

01:45:17   coherent and constructive manner so as I [TS]

01:45:20   just I cannot recommend this one because [TS]

01:45:22   the crazy is just it's too much and the [TS]

01:45:26   book is so long it's such a big ask to [TS]

01:45:29   have somebody go go through with it I [TS]

01:45:31   just I can never imagine a situation in [TS]

01:45:33   which I would recommend to anybody to [TS]

01:45:34   read this book like again I haven't read [TS]

01:45:37   anything further there are more books in [TS]

01:45:40   this idea like created by the Covey [TS]

01:45:42   company that could be better right like [TS]

01:45:45   they could be more updated they could be [TS]

01:45:46   more abbreviated which might be better [TS]

01:45:49   but yeah I agree that like I said there [TS]

01:45:53   are interesting things here I recommend [TS]

01:45:54   trying to find something that builds [TS]

01:45:56   upon some of the habits you know maybe [TS]

01:45:58   finding out a bit about them honestly [TS]

01:46:00   you've probably got a lot of what you [TS]

01:46:03   need from us talking about it for you to [TS]

01:46:05   decide if you think any of these things [TS]

01:46:06   are interesting to you and then maybe [TS]

01:46:08   try and find things offshoots of it [TS]

01:46:10   maybe just focusing on some of the [TS]

01:46:11   specific habits because it is really [TS]

01:46:14   really long and there is a lot of it [TS]

01:46:17   that really doesn't need to be there and [TS]

01:46:20   that with all of these books it is what [TS]

01:46:22   makes it hard that they are filling [TS]

01:46:25   pages a lot of it is just genuinely [TS]

01:46:28   pages need to be filled and they're [TS]

01:46:30   filling them and you can feel that there [TS]

01:46:32   are times when you could just really [TS]

01:46:33   feel like he's hitting a workout for [TS]

01:46:36   this chapter [TS]

01:46:36   because there's just like I don't know [TS]

01:46:39   why you're talking about this anymore [TS]

01:46:40   so they're I don't think he's hitting a [TS]

01:46:43   word count right this to me again just [TS]

01:46:44   it just it just reads as like a Markov [TS]

01:46:47   chain generator that people just didn't [TS]

01:46:48   didn't shut off soon enough right and [TS]

01:46:50   it's like oh we got a thousand changes [TS]

01:46:51   right of this thing and ship it all [TS]

01:46:55   right like whatever it because it [TS]

01:46:56   doesn't matter because it's like it's [TS]

01:46:58   it's fractally self-similar at a large [TS]

01:47:00   scale in a small scale like it's it's [TS]

01:47:02   all the same throughout the whole thing [TS]

01:47:03   it doesn't matter just ship a thousand [TS]

01:47:05   pages of it so yeah there are books [TS]

01:47:07   where I definitely feel like oh I can [TS]

01:47:09   see how you turned your interesting [TS]

01:47:10   article into a paperback book that [TS]

01:47:12   you're now going to sell I and there's [TS]

01:47:13   like then you can feel like okay you're [TS]

01:47:15   obviously just padding here but but this [TS]

01:47:17   this i think i think we're getting pure [TS]

01:47:19   covey here III think there was no point [TS]

01:47:22   where he was like I need to hit that [TS]

01:47:23   word count I feel like he he had this [TS]

01:47:25   book flow through him and it and it came [TS]

01:47:27   out into the world Mike do you want to [TS]

01:47:30   close out our discussion on the seven [TS]

01:47:33   Habits of Highly Effective People with [TS]

01:47:36   the music that was played in the seven [TS]

01:47:38   Habits of Highly Effective People I [TS]

01:47:40   think so because we had to listen to it [TS]

01:47:43   a lot so I think our listeners should [TS]

01:47:46   have to get it just at least once just [TS]

01:47:49   so they can understand the sacrifice [TS]

01:47:51   that we made for them so yes here is the [TS]

01:47:53   music which punctuated almost every ten [TS]

01:47:56   minutes it felt like of the seven Habits [TS]

01:47:58   of Highly Effective People [TS]

01:48:01   [Music] [TS]

01:48:20   you [TS]