Cortex 59: The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People


  I'm Ike hi are you ready to be proactive [TS]

  and sharpen the saw to synergize our [TS]

  win-win solution today's the day today's [TS]

  the day seven Habits of Highly Effective [TS]

  People there was there was a couple of [TS]

  things that I was interested in talking [TS]

  about today one was you're surprisingly [TS]

  compelling 24-hour death stream oh did [TS]

  you like that yeah I did like that very [TS]

  much [TS]

  so you had a new video in the CGT be [TS]

  great doom and gloom series that came [TS]

  out I think of it in my head I feel like [TS]

  it was very optimistic but okay the idea [TS]

  of living forever I'm not sure if it was [TS]

  supposed to be in a way that I was [TS]

  completely comfortable with but you you [TS]

  going alongside this video was a 24 hour [TS]

  livestream of an accurate representation [TS]

  of how many people died on earth in a [TS]

  day and it was fascinating it was like [TS]

  on in my house for like 45 minutes just [TS]

  in the background like I started [TS]

  watching it and then I just kind of [TS]

  walked away from the TV and it was [TS]

  playing and like I look back it's like [TS]

  5,000 I was like oh no that's enough it [TS]

  was it was too much to come back and see [TS]

  the numbers just getting bigger and [TS]

  bigger a little pile of skulls getting [TS]

  bigger and bigger yeah it was good that [TS]

  was a great idea it's one of those [TS]

  things that actually it end up coming [TS]

  out of a technical limitation so I have [TS]

  this idea originally of like okay I like [TS]

  this idea of this 24 hours of death as a [TS]

  visual representation of what's occurred [TS]

  like how do you how do you convey the [TS]

  magnitude of this thing because if you [TS]

  just you just say a big number like it [TS]

  means nothing [TS]

  to people whereas I feel like oh but [TS]

  together a little video like this it has [TS]

  more of a chance of having an impact you [TS]

  know any exactly that way that that you [TS]

  say like you start watching it and then [TS]

  you come back later and it's like oh my [TS]

  right eye well while I was watching the [TS]

  dish's 10,000 people died right yeah and [TS]

  so it's it has it has an impact it drove [TS]

  it home right that it was like I could [TS]

  just watch this mesmerizing animation [TS]

  where someone was getting their head cut [TS]

  off every time every second and they [TS]

  were bursting into flames I think this [TS]

  is what was occurring oh my apologies [TS]

  let's get the clothes of deaf correct I [TS]

  guess yeah but say I had this idea like [TS]

  okay I wanted to do this and you know [TS]

  we're like putting together like this 24 [TS]

  hour long file and go to upload it to [TS]

  YouTube and I get a great great YouTube [TS]

  error message which is surprise videos [TS]

  are not allowed to be longer than 12 [TS]

  hours mm-hmm it's like huh [TS]

  that's interesting because I know for a [TS]

  fact that there are videos on YouTube [TS]

  which are hundreds of hours long like [TS]

  there's there are definitely videos that [TS]

  are super long but it turns out that at [TS]

  some point in the past YouTube made a [TS]

  decision that they had enough of this [TS]

  tomfoolery with long videos and they [TS]

  decided to reduce the the absolute limit [TS]

  down to 12 hours which is also longer [TS]

  than any video and YouTube should be [TS]

  twelve hours is too long like why I mean [TS]

  I know you've found a reason for it [TS]

  right I was gonna say I have a very good [TS]

  reason why I would like a video that's [TS]

  longer than twelve hours thank you right [TS]

  but it shouldn't be because no one's [TS]

  watching that but actually I'm [TS]

  interested to know what your retention [TS]

  graphs are like on those videos well we [TS]

  can get into that later but so anyway I [TS]

  was I was super annoyed about this [TS]

  because I was like goddammit like I [TS]

  don't want to I don't want to break a [TS]

  thing up into two parts like I know that [TS]

  I'm going to have to break it up into [TS]

  two parts but then I feel like that it [TS]

  makes it not as as good when you're [TS]

  uploading it for the first time and so I [TS]

  was spinning this around in in my head [TS]

  and then like talking with some people [TS]

  a few people mentioned the suggestion of [TS]

  actually like hey can you get around [TS]

  this by live-streaming the thing and I [TS]

  was like wait a minute yes there is [TS]

  there is no limit on how long a live [TS]

  stream can be so that's what I ended up [TS]

  doing was okay I can get around this [TS]

  technical limit by making it live and [TS]

  then as soon as I realized that I [TS]

  thought oh it actually works better if [TS]

  it's live it's way back because people [TS]

  can't skip ahead alright like people [TS]

  can't just jump and it's buzzy yeah [TS]

  right there is this thing that this is [TS]

  what I found so compelling about it [TS]

  there was a thing on the internet that [TS]

  was showing me how many people were [TS]

  dying like it's morbid but like a car [TS]

  crash television right like you kind of [TS]

  you know it's there you can't help but [TS]

  look [TS]

  mmm-hmm right and I kept checking in [TS]

  every now and then just to see how big [TS]

  the pile of skulls was like it was you [TS]

  know and like and I kind of had it in my [TS]

  mind to make sure to look before I ended [TS]

  right like I kind of I knew it sighted [TS]

  it around like 11:00 a.m. my time or [TS]

  something so kind of it was like 10:30 [TS]

  or whatever and I just checked it and it [TS]

  was like old man but like it it kind of [TS]

  had that effect of it of like there is [TS]

  this thing that's happening which is [TS]

  showing this how can I not [TS]

  at least look at it so I think they [TS]

  worked really well it's a great idea [TS]

  well yeah I'm pretty pleased with the [TS]

  way that came out in the end I think [TS]

  that ended up being like much more [TS]

  interesting than the video itself in a [TS]

  way I was just doing this this live [TS]

  stream so I'm pretty happy with the way [TS]

  it with the way it came out yeah I liked [TS]

  the video but I was more interested in [TS]

  the in the live stream part like that [TS]

  was more exciting to me [TS]

  yeah the live stream part is definitely [TS]

  the more interesting part and and yeah [TS]

  so it was I'm still annoyed that I [TS]

  wasn't able to upload the whole thing as [TS]

  one continuous file so I did have to end [TS]

  up uploading there like the final [TS]

  conversion has two pieces I thought you [TS]

  could set a live stream as a video like [TS]

  you can just have it available you can [TS]

  but it will only save the last four [TS]

  hours oh that's silly yeah so we just [TS]

  also interesting when I realize like I [TS]

  know people do 24 hour long like charity [TS]

  fundraisers and it's like oh okay so [TS]

  there's just no record of that there's [TS]

  only a record of the last four hours of [TS]

  that because yes that was originally my [TS]

  thought was I was like hahaha [TS]

  fooled you YouTube like I'll just save [TS]

  the live stream and then ended like no [TS]

  it's not gonna work it only saves the [TS]

  last four hours but yeah so anyway this [TS]

  is just an interesting case of a an [TS]

  annoying technical limitation that I [TS]

  still genuinely wish wasn't there but [TS]

  that nonetheless ended up turning into a [TS]

  thing that is more interesting than it [TS]

  would have otherwise been so I feel like [TS]

  that it worked out in the end yeah [TS]

  because if you published the video I [TS]

  would just skip to the end right yeah [TS]

  everybody would have yeah but speaking [TS]

  of the audience retention graphs there's [TS]

  a there's a very funny thing in those [TS]

  audience retention graphs because there [TS]

  are little Easter eggs throughout the 12 [TS]

  hours I think there's something like 20 [TS]

  little Easter eggs that occur and when I [TS]

  loaded up the audience retention graphs [TS]

  you can see the spikes no areas where [TS]

  all the Easter eggs are how are people [TS]

  finding them [TS]

  well I think what's happening is someone [TS]

  sees it and then they jump back a couple [TS]

  seconds to say hey what did I just see [TS]

  that thing that I thought I saw right [TS]

  which then double counts the audience [TS]

  retention in that spot and then people [TS]

  leave comments I just saw Nicole are [TS]

  jumping to those locations but it is [TS]

  hilarious on the audience retention [TS]

  graph you can see spikes for exactly [TS]

  where every single one of the little [TS]

  Easter eggs are so that's one morning [TS]

  like there's like hey why the one at [TS]

  5:57 have a hound and why 7:51 did they [TS]

  have a briefcase I like the supposed to [TS]

  really needed to like they were upset [TS]

  right like why why the why questions are [TS]

  great and it is funny cuz when the [TS]

  livestream first went up I did I didn't [TS]

  enjoy all the comments where people were [TS]

  saying things like what does it mean [TS]

  like what does it mean I'll leave that [TS]

  for you to speculate speculate away [TS]

  about what if that's on you to work out [TS]

  it's very profound but you've got to [TS]

  figure it out yourself I'm looking at [TS]

  these now I've got sucked into the [TS]

  comments I want to see these two eggs [TS]

  like we got a podcast a record last year [TS]

  unless we record for 24 hours which I [TS]

  don't think it's a good idea remember [TS]

  then we won't be able to post it on [TS]

  YouTube unless we live stream at 24 hour [TS]

  long cortex which is not gonna happen [TS]

  Mike do you know that you have become an [TS]

  animated character on the internet [TS]

  finally right finally yeah that I have [TS]

  waited for a cartoon for years finally [TS]

  there is a cartoon of me since I was a [TS]

  kid I wanted to mike the cartoon and we [TS]

  have it now there's a fantastic I found [TS]

  this in the cortex subreddit um the [TS]

  person who created this video posted it [TS]

  hm butit is their YouTube channel I'll [TS]

  put a link in the show notes and they [TS]

  are putting together some fantastic [TS]

  cortex animated videos which I am [TS]

  enjoying immensely and I wanted people [TS]

  to see them because I think it's really [TS]

  great and that there's one of the [TS]

  previous episode there's one of some [TS]

  classic moments from all the episodes [TS]

  and I love seeing stuff like this and [TS]

  they really make me laugh and I enjoy [TS]

  them immensely and you really like being [TS]

  a cartoon character I love being a [TS]

  cartoon character this person has an [TS]

  almost spooky ability to capture [TS]

  movements that I think I [TS]

  make the way the way they animate my [TS]

  movements when talking to you is a lot [TS]

  of how I imagined they actually are so I [TS]

  think it's brilliant the one of these [TS]

  that I think is probably the best [TS]

  version is from I think it was our very [TS]

  first episode where we're talking about [TS]

  the screen screens and home screen icons [TS]

  and the the way they animate you when [TS]

  you're when you're asking about what I [TS]

  think about your home screen I think [TS]

  it's just it's just perfect yes people [TS]

  should go take a look at it like I think [TS]

  if there's but whether or not the way it [TS]

  is animated is the way it happens like [TS]

  it adds something to the audio which [TS]

  makes it sound like that's the way that [TS]

  it happens so it's it's really well done [TS]

  I'm always incredibly impressed by the [TS]

  way that people make these types of [TS]

  videos like I watch some for some of my [TS]

  favorite shows mm-hmm you know that [TS]

  there are some fantastic animated videos [TS]

  for my brother my brother and me oh yeah [TS]

  and it what I love about these types of [TS]

  videos is the way that people hear a [TS]

  thing they hear a thing but the way they [TS]

  interpret it adds so much more to it [TS]

  mm-hmm [TS]

  and I fit such it is such an interesting [TS]

  skill that people have to be able to [TS]

  hear a sentence and pick out specific [TS]

  words and make a joke about those words [TS]

  in a way that was never originally [TS]

  intended like it's it's so interesting [TS]

  to see that and also like the the [TS]

  kinetic nature of the videos is very [TS]

  interesting to me the way that people [TS]

  make the movements and they adjust the [TS]

  audio to fit but it's I find it a very [TS]

  interesting skill mm-hmm and I'm really [TS]

  pleased to see something for our show [TS]

  too because I love watching them for the [TS]

  shows that I enjoy so I don't know it [TS]

  means a lot to me that people make this [TS]

  little stuff so one of the thing that [TS]

  person and encouraged that people watch [TS]

  them because they're really really fun [TS]

  yeah it's it's it's great stuff it's [TS]

  it's a huge amount of work I can't even [TS]

  imagine oh yeah oh yeah I can't imagine [TS]

  how much work it is and it is always a [TS]

  funny experience especially to see like [TS]

  a good joke added to a thing that you [TS]

  yourself have said I was like oh I'm [TS]

  watching a thing that's an animation of [TS]

  something that I have said and then here [TS]

  is this extra layer that is put on top [TS]

  of it which was not intended to be there [TS]

  so it's it's good stuff it's a good [TS]

  stuff so gray I've mentioned that I'm [TS]

  going to be traveling a bunch [TS]

  before the end of the year hmm and one [TS]

  of the things I'm doing is pod con which [TS]

  is odd cast version of VidCon which [TS]

  maybe maybe just spark in many of our [TS]

  listeners Minds what this is but it's [TS]

  like a celebration of the creation of [TS]

  podcasts and there's gonna be a lot of [TS]

  live shows and panels and things like [TS]

  that I'm gonna be there I now have a [TS]

  here's where you'll find Mike Hurley [TS]

  schedule so very excited I can put in [TS]

  the show notes because I'm doing a [TS]

  couple of things I'm doing some panels [TS]

  and some roundtables and stuff like that [TS]

  as you should be your big men on podcast [TS]

  campus pod campus I think it would be [TS]

  called the campus yeah sure I just [TS]

  wanted to mention one thing that if [TS]

  people are gonna be there I'm gonna be [TS]

  doing a signing at pod Con oh yeah so [TS]

  you're gonna be there at a booth yeah [TS]

  both people are gonna bring up things [TS]

  for you to sign maybe I don't know what [TS]

  that would be I guess what do I sign [TS]

  Mike Hurley merchandise people's iPods [TS]

  yeah so I'm gonna be their sign their [TS]

  beards I don't know how that works yeah [TS]

  I guess I'm beard oil I don't know but [TS]

  December 10th it's gonna be at pod Con I [TS]

  think you have you have to be an [TS]

  attendee to be there and I am looking [TS]

  forward to it does look like a really [TS]

  interesting event like the whole shit [TS]

  was something now but I'm gonna be at a [TS]

  booth in the signing area and everything [TS]

  and I wanted to just let people know [TS]

  about this I've never done anything like [TS]

  this before [TS]

  is is what I'm getting it here and I [TS]

  don't really know it was Mike kind of I [TS]

  don't really know what to expect so I [TS]

  want to make sure that if you're gonna [TS]

  be a pod con and you want to come and [TS]

  see me please do and I'm gonna have I'm [TS]

  gonna make this poster print for people [TS]

  that come there will be a poster that I [TS]

  will sign and give to you are you [TS]

  bribing the people Mike it sounds like [TS]

  more of an incentive oh it's an [TS]

  incentive incentive there will be a [TS]

  poster that I'm currently working on [TS]

  with a very talented artist and I may be [TS]

  able to share the artwork beforehand [TS]

  just because I think it's probably gonna [TS]

  be amazing it's this person's awesome I [TS]

  don't think you should I think you [TS]

  should keep the artwork secret for the [TS]

  people who are going to be showing up to [TS]

  see I was thinking about like taking a [TS]

  picture of it in such a way that you [TS]

  couldn't use it for anything like my [TS]

  hand is there right but [TS]

  say you know the amazingness that is [TS]

  gonna be bestowed upon you right that [TS]

  you will get okay I'm gonna suggest a [TS]

  different tack uh-huh you should take a [TS]

  picture that just shows them a corner of [TS]

  the poster yeah that's good I like that [TS]

  so you can understand how great it's [TS]

  gonna be but you don't get it I'm trying [TS]

  to help you I like it [TS]

  bribe the people to come Mike so this is [TS]

  this is my suggestion show a corner of [TS]

  the poster I will do that but yeah I'm [TS]

  genuinely very excited for pod con [TS]

  because this is a thing that I've wanted [TS]

  to exist for a while and the schedule [TS]

  looks great and I'm excited to go as an [TS]

  attendee and as somebody who's gonna be [TS]

  involved in a few things so mm-hmm but [TS]

  yeah if you're gonna be there please [TS]

  come to my signing you'll get a poster [TS]

  and it will make me very happy signings [TS]

  man like if you have a dollar signing [TS]

  you have write something like that [TS]

  technically yes that there was there was [TS]

  there's one case where I ended up doing [TS]

  a thing that was kind of assigning but [TS]

  it was it was a very special set of [TS]

  circumstances it was though [TS]

  yeah the random acts of intelligence [TS]

  show down in Alabama it was like I think [TS]

  that it was like a very elite group of [TS]

  people who were there so that is that is [TS]

  the one that is the one time I've done [TS]

  it but it also I I have I have great [TS]

  sympathy for you Mike because in that [TS]

  situation you didn't have the nerve of [TS]

  like is anyone going to go to the [TS]

  signing because there were just five of [TS]

  us there and it's like these people are [TS]

  here to see us so we know that if we go [TS]

  outside and do signings we're not gonna [TS]

  look like sad sad OHS who are just all [TS]

  are on our own but if you're at a big [TS]

  conference it's a very different thing [TS]

  and like you don't know how much of your [TS]

  audience is going to be at like the [TS]

  core-tex [TS]

  audience like you know it would be a [TS]

  long line if everybody was was going to [TS]

  a mic signing but the question is how [TS]

  many are going to pod con and so I [TS]

  that's understand right like I can [TS]

  understand cold sweats in your hands [TS]

  right where it's like like mic mic could [TS]

  fill a stadium full of people that we [TS]

  got all the core-tex people there but [TS]

  how many go to pod con right [TS]

  knows like what it's going to look like [TS]

  so I I completely understand your your [TS]

  desire to bribe slash encourage people [TS]

  to go so I think that I think that's a [TS]

  good method tease the people with the [TS]

  excitement of what they get it a mic [TS]

  signing and to any cortex listeners if [TS]

  you go into pod con make sure to see mic [TS]

  make sure to bring your beard oil this [TS]

  episode of cortex is brought to you by [TS]

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  about a section so they know that you [TS]

  came to them from this show just before [TS]

  I recorded this [TS]

  I was actually sending some invoices [TS]

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  cortex thanks for fresh books for their [TS]

  support of this show and really have [TS]

  them all right gray I think that we're [TS]

  effectively warmed up at this point to [TS]

  discuss the book the cortex book club [TS]

  the seven Habits of Highly Effective [TS]

  People [TS]

  now I have had this on my list since the [TS]

  very beginning of our show right this [TS]

  has been something that I have wanted to [TS]

  talk about I've never read this book [TS]

  before but I like many people are very [TS]

  aware of this as an idea that there is a [TS]

  book called the seven Habits of Highly [TS]

  Effective People I'm pretty sure I've [TS]

  had some of it mentioned to me during [TS]

  management training courses back in my [TS]

  old life right like this is I mean [TS]

  what's it like 20 million 15 million [TS]

  copies sold or something I was looking [TS]

  it up this morning and yeah it's it's 25 [TS]

  million copies sold and it's something [TS]

  like one of the top 20 best-selling [TS]

  business books of all time it's it's a [TS]

  it's a mammoth giant in this field this [TS]

  is the one when it comes to these types [TS]

  of books you know like like we spoken [TS]

  about the e-myth revisited right like we [TS]

  spoke about the only I think that all of [TS]

  these books are just trying to be the [TS]

  next seven Habits like this is like an [TS]

  entire empire there are many spin-off [TS]

  books there's like whole business up [TS]

  around it like it is it is a big thing [TS]

  yeah there's like seven Habits for the [TS]

  teenage chicken soup soul like there's [TS]

  met you know a whole mini there's many [TS]

  spin-offs of this my favorite one the [TS]

  eight habit as I uh hang on a second how [TS]

  many are there is there an infinite [TS]

  amount of habits now well people keep [TS]

  buying books yes there are an infinite [TS]

  number of habits yeah yeah yeah sure [TS]

  what I want to do is I want to go [TS]

  through each of the habits and give a [TS]

  very brief outline of them and then we [TS]

  can talk about if and how they apply to [TS]

  our working lives even you know before [TS]

  or after but I wanted to kind of talk [TS]

  about the book and the abstract a little [TS]

  bit more so you had read this before [TS]

  right they keep this isn't your first [TS]

  time this is my first time with the book [TS]

  but it isn't yours right yeah no this is [TS]

  not my first time at this rodeo and it's [TS]

  and it is why when we were mentioning [TS]

  that this was coming up in the last [TS]

  episode I think I think people could [TS]

  hear that there was some hesitation in [TS]

  my voice to finally committing to doing [TS]

  this thing that you have been bugging me [TS]

  for years to do yeah so I I read this a [TS]

  long time ago and [TS]

  I was charming I kept trying to remember [TS]

  but I'm pretty sure that I read this [TS]

  book along with a bunch of other books [TS]

  in the genre before I ended up finding [TS]

  getting things done which was the book [TS]

  that really worked for me you were [TS]

  looking for something right and none of [TS]

  these books gave you that yeah like I [TS]

  remember reading a book about eating a [TS]

  frog there's a whole bunch of books that [TS]

  are like these well-known things and and [TS]

  this was one of these books and yeah I'm [TS]

  95% sure that I read it before I read [TS]

  getting things done a long time ago [TS]

  back when I was a very different person [TS]

  so yes I I have read this book and upon [TS]

  rereading it much of it came rushing [TS]

  back and and so much of it was [TS]

  surprising and new let's let's say that [TS]

  so yeah reread the book finished it not [TS]

  30 minutes before we started recording [TS]

  today so I finish it yesterday [TS]

  yeah just like just like homework in [TS]

  real life where if a thing had to get [TS]

  done I was gonna do it in the class [TS]

  before the class when it was due that is [TS]

  essentially what I did this morning is [TS]

  like man I timed it right down to a 30 [TS]

  minute buffer of when I could finish [TS]

  this book and I got it done just on time [TS]

  let's just pull back the cone a little [TS]

  bit more we're recording this episode [TS]

  like three days later than we were [TS]

  supposed to I wouldn't have got the book [TS]

  done in time so I was kind of pretty [TS]

  happy about that yeah yeah that is that [TS]

  is also the case I had some last-minute [TS]

  travel plans that messed up our [TS]

  recording schedule but it was also a [TS]

  thing I like happy for her and they ever [TS]

  gonna finish this book in time I had [TS]

  like seven hours to go Davis it's long [TS]

  it's really long it's really long I want [TS]

  to say though right this book was not as [TS]

  bad as I thought it was going to be I [TS]

  will say that like it is frustrating at [TS]

  times and I want to talk about some of [TS]

  those frustrations in a bit more detail [TS]

  but I was not infuriated listening to [TS]

  this book like I was the e-myth [TS]

  revisited which by the way if you've [TS]

  never heard that episode of the show [TS]

  it's one of my favorites [TS]

  yeah yeah it's it's it's a it's a really [TS]

  good one to start with if ya if you're [TS]

  like recommending people come to the [TS]

  show like I think that's probably a [TS]

  great starting spot even if people [TS]

  haven't read the book I'll put a link in [TS]

  the show notes to that episode it was [TS]

  episode 21 January of last year I [TS]

  thought it was longer than that but yeah [TS]

  journey of last year episode 21 the myth [TS]

  revisited I recommend that one if you've [TS]

  not heard it I'll actually say if you [TS]

  recommend someone for the show but [TS]

  anyway I actually found this book [TS]

  interesting at times and sometimes [TS]

  useful in a way that like a myth I took [TS]

  one thing from it there was one thing [TS]

  and I think this book it has more to it [TS]

  than that I can actually was reading it [TS]

  can be like okay I know why this got as [TS]

  popular as it did like I have a lot of [TS]

  problems with it [TS]

  but on the whole there is good [TS]

  information in this book and it isn't it [TS]

  isn't infuriating like I wasn't [TS]

  screaming at my phone like I was when I [TS]

  was listening to e-myth yeah you you [TS]

  were really frustrated I hated that book [TS]

  it was it was everything I don't like [TS]

  about that type of thing that book had [TS]

  oh but like you know I couldn't I would [TS]

  have to take breaks right like if I was [TS]

  gonna sit down and listen to it for [TS]

  three hours I had to take a break like [TS]

  every 45 minutes cuz it there's just [TS]

  only so much of this I can take [TS]

  right like I feel like it's just my [TS]

  brain is being filled up with mostly [TS]

  nonsense for a while right and I can I [TS]

  haven't it to like chill for a bit but [TS]

  I've found this one I was like going [TS]

  like I'm making more notes than I [TS]

  thought I would make mostly for me so um [TS]

  this book I can see why it is a big [TS]

  thing I can see why it why people really [TS]

  really like what it has to say hmm [TS]

  that's interesting to hear because part [TS]

  of my memory of the book and one of the [TS]

  reasons why I didn't feel like I wanted [TS]

  to read it again is because my my review [TS]

  when people have asked me about it has [TS]

  always been it's one good idea in a [TS]

  thousand pages this this was my memory [TS]

  from having read the book the first time [TS]

  and so it was is interesting to like [TS]

  read it again and see like does this [TS]

  hold up or does this not hold up and [TS]

  upon rereading this book [TS]

  I feel like this book defeated my soul I [TS]

  feel really huh beaten down from reading [TS]

  this book so I feel like we're having a [TS]

  little bit of opposite reactions with a [TS]

  myth and this one because a nemeth I [TS]

  felt like like I kept was defending [TS]

  e-myth I'm like yeah that's crazy but [TS]

  there's some good ideas in here right [TS]

  whereas whereas with this one like I [TS]

  think you could play the audio book of [TS]

  of this as a method of torture right to [TS]

  just make people divulge information by [TS]

  just looping it in their cell over an [TS]

  interesting okay I will say like there [TS]

  is a huge chunk of this book that I [TS]

  think is pointless yeah I mean as with [TS]

  all these books it could be dramatically [TS]

  shortened oh yeah oh but more but more [TS]

  than that like so even though this book [TS]

  totally defeated me I also have the [TS]

  understanding of like I I can see why [TS]

  this book was such a such a mammoth book [TS]

  but my takeaway is this book is almost [TS]

  like like a Rorschach test like people [TS]

  will it's so they in so many places that [TS]

  you can I think people can just kind of [TS]

  read into it their own their own [TS]

  situations but that like the amount of [TS]

  actual actionable material struck me as [TS]

  like incredibly small and and when I [TS]

  felt like I was reading was a like a [TS]

  Productivity book Markov chain like like [TS]

  this is just like an automatic AI [TS]

  generated endless string sentence of [TS]

  words in a Productivity book that your [TS]

  brain is constantly struggling to pull [TS]

  meaning out of and to find connections [TS]

  to and it just never ends okay just goes [TS]

  on forever and when I say that this book [TS]

  defeated me that the thing that was has [TS]

  like I started reading the book and I [TS]

  like read up to habit number two which [TS]

  is sort of most of what I had remembered [TS]

  from from before and then I realized [TS]

  like I'm reading this book but the [TS]

  reading is in quotes where I'm just [TS]

  pressing forward on the Kindle like not [TS]

  not even skimming but it's just like [TS]

  flip flip flip because my brain is this [TS]

  like trying to get through this thing [TS]

  like hey [TS]

  just let's just turn some pages and then [TS]

  we'll focus on the words in a little bit [TS]

  and it's like a pickup at another spot [TS]

  it's like oh god I can't stand this so I [TS]

  always make fun of you for reading the [TS]

  audiobook but I had to buy the audiobook [TS]

  because I was aware that at a certain [TS]

  point like I I physically cannot read [TS]

  this book there is there is no way I can [TS]

  force my eyes to look at the words and [TS]

  have them and have the meaning go into [TS]

  my head it was just completely [TS]

  impossible so I switched to the [TS]

  audiobook which I never recommend people [TS]

  do for this kind of boto and then I felt [TS]

  like I was being brainwashed for six [TS]

  more hours so it's like I I feel like I [TS]

  have come out of an experience somewhat [TS]

  traumatized and I'm gonna I'm gonna give [TS]

  a no recommend to this book but I'm very [TS]

  happy to talk about some of the habits [TS]

  and the ideas that are contained inside [TS]

  of it but I I cannot think of a book in [TS]

  the genre that I can now say that I like [TS]

  less than this book a kiss book is the [TS]

  worst book it's put a pin in that for [TS]

  one second because I have a theory but I [TS]

  wanted to say about the audiobook mm-hmm [TS]

  I know that the audio books are torture [TS]

  but the reason I do it is because I can [TS]

  integrate it into my life right yeah [TS]

  yeah I don't have to like take the time [TS]

  to sit and read the book because I don't [TS]

  do a lot of sitting and reading time in [TS]

  this way right but like I can be [TS]

  traveling as I have been and listen I [TS]

  can be playing stardew valley and listen [TS]

  so that's why I do this right like I I [TS]

  do that because it I can integrate the [TS]

  audio book into my working life and [TS]

  personal life [TS]

  easier than I can the physical book or [TS]

  oh yeah yeah I completely understand [TS]

  that and that's what I was doing as well [TS]

  like I've been I've been traveling a [TS]

  whole bunch and so it's like okay great [TS]

  while I'm standing on line at security [TS]

  right I can hear about how we're gonna [TS]

  synergize our plus-one ideas and it's [TS]

  great [TS]

  but I also found that at a certain point [TS]

  just like I was no longer reading the [TS]

  book I was simply not listening to the [TS]

  audiobook and so what I ended up the [TS]

  final the final stage in my journey of I [TS]

  have to read this so I can talk about it [TS]

  at least a little bit on a podcast was [TS]

  no joke [TS]

  listening to the audiobook while looking [TS]

  at the Kindle version was was the only [TS]

  news it was like the only way I could [TS]

  force the words to mean things in my [TS]

  head because I was aware I guess after a [TS]

  while even with the audiobook it's like [TS]

  I can't I can't listen so I had the [TS]

  weird experience towards the end of [TS]

  audiobook cranked up to like two and a [TS]

  half X which is about my reading speed [TS]

  and then like quote reading through the [TS]

  book while the audiobook is playing in [TS]

  my head so that that's how I finished [TS]

  the book this morning so here is my [TS]

  theory I have a theory about this which [TS]

  I kind of decided on pretty early and it [TS]

  helped me get through this book okay [TS]

  this book was published in 1989 right my [TS]

  theory is part of the reason that at [TS]

  first I was finding it infuriating and [TS]

  why I believe you find it infuriating is [TS]

  this book feels like you take every [TS]

  other productivity book ever written put [TS]

  it into a blender and seven habits pops [TS]

  out and I think it's the reverse of that [TS]

  this was the book the start at a lot of [TS]

  this stuff so so many of the things that [TS]

  feel like tropes of terrible business [TS]

  books because you've heard them a [TS]

  million times because of this one so [TS]

  like as when I started thinking about [TS]

  that I approached this book differently [TS]

  I was giving it more leeway because this [TS]

  book isn't trying to be annoying I am [TS]

  annoyed by this book because every [TS]

  marketing book business book a [TS]

  management material ever made since 1989 [TS]

  is trying a ripoff the seven habits and [TS]

  when I kind of this is my theory when I [TS]

  was able to accept that I was able to [TS]

  give this book more leeway and that's [TS]

  why I think I wasn't someone oyd about [TS]

  it ya know you're totally right about [TS]

  that IIIi think that that's not a theory [TS]

  that that might as well just be like an [TS]

  accepted fact in the universe right that [TS]

  this like when you this is this is the [TS]

  book that had to introduce the idea of [TS]

  like paradigm shift into the into the [TS]

  language right this is this is the book [TS]

  that that raises the idea of synergy in [TS]

  the language right it's the first book [TS]

  that starts talking about all of that [TS]

  stuff and Mike if my comparison for this [TS]

  is is the example I always use but I [TS]

  think of the the animated version of [TS]

  ghost in the shell as a move [TS]

  which is very hard for modern modern [TS]

  audiences to watch because it's set up [TS]

  every single science fiction trope for [TS]

  the next thirty years so when you watch [TS]

  the original it feels like this thing is [TS]

  incredibly unoriginal because you've [TS]

  you've seen all of the spin-offs and all [TS]

  of the versions for the next 30 years on [TS]

  it like without a doubt seven Habits [TS]

  reading it now has that problem and [TS]

  you've read so many more of these types [TS]

  of books than I have so you have read [TS]

  this book a hundred and fifty times but [TS]

  my problem with it isn't that like it [TS]

  isn't it isn't just that it's like yes [TS]

  this this is this this endless blender [TS]

  of random sentences from other books [TS]

  because I was also thinking that very [TS]

  much while I'm reading it it's like okay [TS]

  this is the foundation of it but it [TS]

  still felt like even even with that in [TS]

  mind like when he's talking about these [TS]

  various things there's just so little [TS]

  there or the like the ideas don't even [TS]

  make sense like his his whole chapter on [TS]

  I just I pick up pick up on synergy just [TS]

  as an example right because this is like [TS]

  idea that has infected the business [TS]

  world or people are always synergizing [TS]

  their global strategies right but even [TS]

  even that whole chapter is like even [TS]

  here his eye his concept of synergy it's [TS]

  not like oh the original person had a [TS]

  great idea and it has it isn't it has [TS]

  since been distilled down to a [TS]

  meaningless jargon word it's like no it [TS]

  was born as a meaningless jargon yeah [TS]

  like he's using it wildly and [TS]

  consistently in a way that makes no [TS]

  sense across a whole bunch of different [TS]

  analogies so so that's why I don't feel [TS]

  like ah this thing was the thing that [TS]

  started it and it got mutated over time [TS]

  it's like it was it was born in this [TS]

  inconsistent horrific way yeah so yeah [TS]

  there are so many buzz words and phrases [TS]

  in this book he creates the by the end [TS]

  of it you feel like you're in a bowl of [TS]

  soup like so I've this is this is from [TS]

  habit 7 this was a note that's this at [TS]

  the end right so I've made this note and [TS]

  I say by the point in this book there [TS]

  are so many buzzwords that he uses that [TS]

  it is almost impossible to distinguish [TS]

  them from each other right yeah so I'll [TS]

  give a few of these when we may talk [TS]

  about them emotional bank account PC [TS]

  balance intra dependence interdependence [TS]

  personal renewal daily private victory [TS]

  synergize win-win solutions by the end [TS]

  of the book he is throwing these words [TS]

  like candy and to the point that you're [TS]

  like does this word actually exist I [TS]

  believe by the end of this book that the [TS]

  word intro dependence existed because [TS]

  it's like I've heard it so many times [TS]

  now that it must be true and it is the [TS]

  intro dependence is the idea of working [TS]

  with others so instead of being [TS]

  independent you're interdependent [TS]

  it's either inter or intra I also [TS]

  couldn't understand it because here's [TS]

  another thing I have a problem with [TS]

  basically all business books I'm almost [TS]

  convinced this is my lover of my [TS]

  theories coming out of this book I am [TS]

  always convinced that audiobook [TS]

  narrators are the people narrating [TS]

  audiobooks this one is narrated by [TS]

  stephen r.covey the guy who wrote the [TS]

  book that they pronounce words weirdly [TS]

  just to make sure that you're paying [TS]

  attention yes yes there's a few of those [TS]

  in here or it's like this is a normal [TS]

  word dude in a way I've never heard [TS]

  before he goes rooms it's like the [TS]

  longest word with a V in it it's like I [TS]

  don't understand what you're doing like [TS]

  they said some words that nobody says [TS]

  them like this I am convinced that they [TS]

  do this just so you pay attention [TS]

  because you're like I don't understand [TS]

  the word that he just used it's my [TS]

  blowing a couple of months so I'm now [TS]

  getting worked up now so here a couple [TS]

  more frustrations about this book the [TS]

  first habit begins at two hours and 22 [TS]

  minutes in I have the unabridged it's [TS]

  again don't know why I do this but my [TS]

  version includes a foreword which is [TS]

  mind blowing Lee just up in the [TS]

  stratosphere where he's talking about [TS]

  his son and I just can't believe it's [TS]

  true like like with many of these [TS]

  stories there are many stories in this [TS]

  book where I'm like okay coffee that [TS]

  does that didn't happen something like [TS]

  that may have happened but that didn't [TS]

  happen and the idea is that his son was [TS]

  failing in everything he was terrible at [TS]

  school [TS]

  terrible F athletics just couldn't get [TS]

  anything right in his life they started [TS]

  to apply the seven Habits to him before [TS]

  they became the seven Habits right like [TS]

  they just tried to change their behavior [TS]

  and he ended up being the most popular [TS]

  kid in school homecoming king twice [TS]

  grade-a valedictorian and the captain of [TS]

  the football team right anyone the Nobel [TS]

  Prize [TS]

  no I did a little bit of investigation [TS]

  and his son was a successful American [TS]

  football player mm-hmm but I don't [TS]

  believe the rest of it like I can't [TS]

  maybe he was all of those things but [TS]

  beforehand was not failing unpopular and [TS]

  couldn't run but like I just can't in my [TS]

  mind believe that this is true and the [TS]

  thing is they may be true if it is [TS]

  whatever but when you read these books [TS]

  you like this can't be because you know [TS]

  there are lies throughout this book he [TS]

  also found a magical hotel by the way [TS]

  which is like well oh my god yes I have [TS]

  that highlighted we can get to that [TS]

  later [TS]

  but yeah this is one of the things that [TS]

  I didn't remember about the book at all [TS]

  and I was astounded on there on the [TS]

  reread is everything relates to his [TS]

  children and his family it's it was [TS]

  astounding how much of this book is [TS]

  focused around marriage yeah so many [TS]

  things like this is a business book but [TS]

  like honestly the major focus of these [TS]

  seven habits is applying them to your [TS]

  family life and I was like what is this [TS]

  book like this was it was so different [TS]

  to what I was expecting in that way [TS]

  everything is to do with his family even [TS]

  like delegating his son to mow the lawn [TS]

  right like oh my god the mowing the lawn [TS]

  story yeah but but this this is exactly [TS]

  the kind of thing where it's just like I [TS]

  don't I don't believe these stories that [TS]

  you're telling about your children like [TS]

  oh yeah because they're he's always [TS]

  telling stories about some kind of Leave [TS]

  It to Beaver perfect family where [TS]

  they're just they're having [TS]

  conversations and then people just [TS]

  realize oh I understand everything now [TS]

  and and like stuff just works out [TS]

  perfectly fine even when it doesn't [TS]

  there's something's I'm like it's the [TS]

  stories are crazy there's one that I [TS]

  highlighted as to me a perfect example [TS]

  like I'm sorry the this story didn't [TS]

  happen where I don't know if you [TS]

  remember this one but he's talking about [TS]

  not wanting to go see Star Wars with his [TS]

  daughter and yeah and and the daughter [TS]

  says Oh dad all right I know you don't [TS]

  like Star Wars you've slept through [TS]

  before right you don't you don't want to [TS]

  see this movie and then and then his [TS]

  daughter was like how old is the [TS]

  daughter in this story which [TS]

  she says quote but you know why you [TS]

  don't like Star Wars it's because you [TS]

  don't understand the philosophy and [TS]

  training of a Jedi Knight right what I [TS]

  said you know you know the things you [TS]

  teach dad those those same things you [TS]

  teach are the training of a Jedi Knight [TS]

  and then I said really let's go see Star [TS]

  Wars and we did she sat next to me and [TS]

  gave me the new paradigm I became her [TS]

  student her learner [TS]

  it was totally fascinating and I could [TS]

  begin to see out of the new paradigm the [TS]

  whole way a Jedi Knights basic [TS]

  philosophy and training is manifested in [TS]

  different circumstances right it's like [TS]

  this didn't happen this there's no way [TS]

  that your daughter's like let me tell [TS]

  you about the philosophy and training of [TS]

  a Jedi Knight because also like this [TS]

  movie is taking place in the 80s like [TS]

  this is this did not happen there is no [TS]

  way that your daughter was like let me [TS]

  explain to you how what Jedi Knights do [TS]

  is exactly what you do dad you're just [TS]

  like a Jedi company or a Jedi yeah we [TS]

  wanted to be a Jedi as well this is all [TS]

  about I read that story because that one [TS]

  is particularly yeah but but just [TS]

  imagine like every single page there is [TS]

  some quick story about his family and [TS]

  like learning things from his children [TS]

  or or teaching things to his children in [TS]

  ways that when you're on the 100th one [TS]

  of them like this is not believable like [TS]

  this is crazy I think the worst one for [TS]

  me is this is towards the end of the [TS]

  book he's talking about how him and his [TS]

  family took a year away to Hawaii oh my [TS]

  god yeah [TS]

  and he talks about how you know the kids [TS]

  would go to school and then he would [TS]

  pick them up on like it's got like a [TS]

  honda trail master or something trail [TS]

  cycle which is a motorbike where he said [TS]

  to all four of the family got on the [TS]

  bike and would drive like i would sit on [TS]

  my wife would sit behind me kids been [TS]

  between us and one of them when my knee [TS]

  is like wow no it's like you circus [TS]

  performers what are you doing well that [TS]

  that kind of description to me reads [TS]

  like a thing where when you're a [TS]

  psychologist and you start to unwind [TS]

  with someone false memories that they [TS]

  have knows like oh yeah we were all [TS]

  yeah it's like no that can't possibly [TS]

  have been the case right let's let's [TS]

  start comparing this against real-world [TS]

  things like there's no way that you were [TS]

  doing this in the way that you're [TS]

  describing and then he would talk about [TS]

  how they would sit on the beach and just [TS]

  talk for hours right like that every [TS]

  single day and then he's talk telling [TS]

  the story about how his wife would only [TS]

  buy Frigidaire appliances which it's a [TS]

  company right they make like white goods [TS]

  and stuff mmm and if this was apparently [TS]

  a sore spot in their marriage because [TS]

  she would insist on these Frigidaire [TS]

  appliances and for some reason this [TS]

  caused huge problems with tons of [TS]

  emotional baggage that because every [TS]

  time they needed to buy an appliance [TS]

  they had to go to the next town and they [TS]

  both were just dreading this [TS]

  conversation was coming and every time [TS]

  it came it was like the end of their [TS]

  marriage and they had so much trouble [TS]

  with it and then she happened to [TS]

  remember that her father's business was [TS]

  saved by Frigidaire how would you not [TS]

  remember that [TS]

  how would you why would you know you had [TS]

  this like undying love for this company [TS]

  and not remember it was because your [TS]

  dad's business was saved by their [TS]

  financing of their appliances yeah [TS]

  and that again is an example of like [TS]

  okay let's say that that story is is [TS]

  true this is also like almost a classic [TS]

  example of your wife is probably just [TS]

  manufacturing a memory about a thing [TS]

  that might have happened when she was [TS]

  like it's so it's so weird it's so [TS]

  strange so many and so like suffers from [TS]

  this thing that all these books do why [TS]

  give one example when you can list 20 [TS]

  yeah yeah well give one example when you [TS]

  can list why there now again I will [TS]

  slightly in defense say that that in my [TS]

  memory that the thing which we'll get to [TS]

  it which I think was the one idea is the [TS]

  one place that I think benefits from a [TS]

  bunch of examples but most of the time [TS]

  it totally doesn't and the the the [TS]

  problem with a whole bunch of the [TS]

  examples is they are all these just so [TS]

  examples right it's like let me tell you [TS]

  a thing and then [TS]

  here's an imaginary story about how how [TS]

  it perfectly solved this situation right [TS]

  and it's like it's not a it's not a [TS]

  real-life example of what to do like [TS]

  just to contrast with getting things [TS]

  done which again I will say I don't [TS]

  think is a book which really holds up [TS]

  anymore but one of the things I always [TS]

  find hilarious in that book is David [TS]

  Allen talks about the problems and [TS]

  projects that you have and his problems [TS]

  and projects are always like hilarious [TS]

  rich person problem so he talks about [TS]

  like like what's the first step to [TS]

  building your next orchard right and [TS]

  it's like well you know you need to you [TS]

  need to do all it like it is there's [TS]

  literally an example in the book at one [TS]

  point right but but what I were like [TS]

  what I will appreciate about that is ok [TS]

  he may be giving a bunch of examples but [TS]

  he works through like the specifics of [TS]

  this thing of like here's here's a thing [TS]

  like let's break down the way that [TS]

  you're supposed to think about this [TS]

  whereas this book feels like a like a [TS]

  whole bunch of like parables about an [TS]

  imaginary family that are vaguely [TS]

  related to the ideas that he's pushing [TS]

  in the book and it's like okay this is [TS]

  my feeling throughout it is like there's [TS]

  no action and if if you read the book [TS]

  what you can also see and and what [TS]

  really started to bother me is his [TS]

  philosophy which there's a very weird [TS]

  and very brief afterward which we [TS]

  emphasize is this idea but I didn't [TS]

  listen today afterward I got today on [TS]

  that 7 haven't also come done I'm out [TS]

  yeah but his philosophy in large part he [TS]

  talks about like he's constantly talking [TS]

  about making decisions to say to stay [TS]

  constant with your principles right like [TS]

  this is this is like over and over this [TS]

  is the drumbeat is like this the secret [TS]

  to living a good life is to have good [TS]

  principles and stick to them all right [TS]

  and and my frustration with that is like [TS]

  yeah that's the whole problem right like [TS]

  that like that's the hard thing to do is [TS]

  to make the right decisions but so many [TS]

  of these things are like you need to set [TS]

  out some some ideas and then just stick [TS]

  to them it's like dude just sticking to [TS]

  them is the hard part and what I [TS]

  absolutely love is in this ridiculous [TS]

  story where he talks about having his [TS]

  son mowing the lawn it is the author's [TS]

  once in the entire book where he [TS]

  explicitly not [TS]

  like doing something is hard because his [TS]

  kid promises to mow the lawn and then [TS]

  doesn't and then when he calls his kid [TS]

  out on it his kid cries and says oh dad [TS]

  it's so hard and his in his internal [TS]

  monologue he says like oh what's so hard [TS]

  like you didn't do anything and then he [TS]

  has one line in the whole book where he [TS]

  says well the hard thing is sticking to [TS]

  the principles right and then just blows [TS]

  right past it and it's like you've got a [TS]

  thousand pages upon which every page is [TS]

  just like the secret to making good [TS]

  decisions is to make good decisions and [TS]

  it's like there's nothing here like [TS]

  there's nothing here to talk about and [TS]

  it's as weird thing about choices and [TS]

  there is there is a moment which blows [TS]

  my mind in the afterword at the very end [TS]

  of the book which really sums it up [TS]

  where he's talking about choices and he [TS]

  literally literally just says something [TS]

  like if your parents abused you as a [TS]

  child that does not mean you have to [TS]

  abuse your own children right you can [TS]

  choose not to abuse your children and [TS]

  it's like oh oh is that the problem like [TS]

  people are just making them it's it's on [TS]

  my grizzy alright like oh okay it's like [TS]

  thank thanks for solving like these [TS]

  these systemic societal problems by [TS]

  telling people who do bad things not to [TS]

  choose to do the bad things right it's [TS]

  so yeah there are more examples of this [TS]

  so one of the one of the many examples [TS]

  of relationship advice in this book [TS]

  there is somebody who came up to him at [TS]

  the end of a conference many people come [TS]

  up to coffee at the end of his speaking [TS]

  engagements two stories oh my god yeah [TS]

  was this the woman the nurse like who's [TS]

  working with the old man or is this [TS]

  another one it's guys like me and my [TS]

  wife we don't love each other anymore oh [TS]

  I have that highlighted too oh my god [TS]

  it's a joke just love them but it's like [TS]

  but we don't get a you just a lot you [TS]

  just keep saying over and over again [TS]

  just love them just love them and [TS]

  they're saying that you know love is a [TS]

  thing that is constructed by books and [TS]

  it's not a real thing and all you have [TS]

  to do is be attentive and it's it's like [TS]

  okay the advice like there's probably [TS]

  some interesting stuff in this advice [TS]

  but the way that he gives it it's just [TS]

  so we [TS]

  like we just love them like he's that is [TS]

  his advice just love them you just keep [TS]

  saying over and over again until the [TS]

  scales fall from the person's eyes and [TS]

  they can finally see as part of coffees [TS]

  teaching I think this is worth reading [TS]

  word for word this this weird like how [TS]

  to love how to love your wife thing it's [TS]

  like okay listen there's like strap in [TS]

  for a moment here yeah okay you got a [TS]

  wild ride okay so so here's relationship [TS]

  advice from Stephen Covey at one seminar [TS]

  where I was speaking on the concept of [TS]

  productivity a man came up and said [TS]

  Stephen I like what you're saying but [TS]

  every situation is so different look at [TS]

  my marriage I'm really worried my wife [TS]

  and I just don't have the same feelings [TS]

  for each other that we used to I guess I [TS]

  just don't love her anymore and she [TS]

  doesn't love me what can I do love her I [TS]

  replied I told you the feeling just [TS]

  isn't there anymore love her you don't [TS]

  understand the feeling of love just [TS]

  isn't there then love her if the feeling [TS]

  isn't there that's a good reason to love [TS]

  her but how do you love when you don't [TS]

  love my friend love is a verb love the [TS]

  feeling is the fruit of love the verb so [TS]

  love her end of chapter but like but [TS]

  that that is another version of the same [TS]

  story that gets told too many times [TS]

  which is like just choose to do the [TS]

  better thing and it's like okay thanks [TS]

  thanks man I'll be sure to do that it [TS]

  that that one is that one is is just [TS]

  astounding yeah but there's many people [TS]

  at conferences and children and like [TS]

  these these are all like tropes of this [TS]

  genre but this one has so many weird [TS]

  ones and it's like by the end I start [TS]

  feeling almost personally offended by [TS]

  the constant refrain of just do the [TS]

  thing that will make your life better [TS]

  and it's like screw you buddy like that [TS]

  is that is not an answer like that is [TS]

  not an action right you can't like the [TS]

  way to love your wife is just love her [TS]

  right like okay [TS]

  let's talk about the habits I have more [TS]

  of these things to talk about as we go [TS]

  through by when we start talking about [TS]

  the habits Liz if we don't start talking [TS]

  about the habit whenever we will never [TS]

  stop but we'll never get to them so let [TS]

  lets let's go through that again [TS]

  I wanted to state my position I am [TS]

  infuriated by all of these things I'm so [TS]

  angry about the things that happen in [TS]

  this book like that but I didn't find [TS]

  myself just losing my mind like I did [TS]

  with the e-myth because I feel like a [TS]

  nemeth they were just brittle endless [TS]

  and I feel at least there was some [TS]

  breaks here where he was talking about [TS]

  some interesting stuff and I do believe [TS]

  that this book has more than just one [TS]

  thing to take away from it today's show [TS]

  is brought to you in part by our friends [TS]

  at hava building your online identity [TS]

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  world who you are and what you're [TS]

  passionate about what I love about hover [TS]

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  that everything is super easy to set up [TS]

  and super easy to search for so the [TS]

  customer support team is best-in-class [TS]

  they have a hover connect feature which [TS]

  I use just a couple of weeks ago for [TS]

  setting up the wedding website that I [TS]

  spoke about I was able to get the domain [TS]

  name I bought set up with my website in [TS]

  just a few clicks I didn't have to enter [TS]

  in a bunch of DNS information and also [TS]

  they have Whois privacy as well for free [TS]

  so bad guys don't get my information I [TS]

  really love hover for these things and [TS]

  look I've mentioned stuff like getting a [TS]

  domain name for my wedding website this [TS]

  is something that I needed and hover [TS]

  made it simple this wasn't one of those [TS]

  things where I had to sit and think and [TS]

  scratch my chin about what I was gonna [TS]

  get I knew what I wanted and I could go [TS]

  in and get it really easily whatever [TS]

  type of project or reason no matter what [TS]

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  homepage because the site is called dot [TS]

  blog so let's say that you're a blogger [TS]

  or a company even that's trying to [TS]

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  context of course including top blog [TS]

  thanks to hover for their support of [TS]

  this show the habits are broken down [TS]

  into two and a half categories the first [TS]

  three are classified as private victory [TS]

  and or independents and then four to six [TS]

  were classified as public victory or [TS]

  interdependence which is working with [TS]

  others and the seventh habit is just [TS]

  about renewing all of the sixth so is an [TS]

  interesting structure and I actually [TS]

  quite like the structure so the first [TS]

  three are classified as proactivity [TS]

  beginning with the end in mind and [TS]

  putting first things first so habit one [TS]

  is productivity and the idea and there's [TS]

  a great summary on Wikipedia for each of [TS]

  these and I pulled some of that out just [TS]

  to try and give a concise explanation [TS]

  for them so be proactive is in [TS]

  understanding a circle of influence and [TS]

  your circle of concern so the things [TS]

  that you can influence about yourself [TS]

  and the people that you need to be [TS]

  concerned about the things that you need [TS]

  to try and change and not to just sit [TS]

  and wait in a reactive mode waiting for [TS]

  problems to happen before you take [TS]

  action you should be out there and [TS]

  taking action and a lot of it is about [TS]

  understanding the language that you use [TS]

  and the way that you think about things [TS]

  so I really liked this one example of [TS]

  saying things instead of I have to do [TS]

  something you say that you choose to do [TS]

  something or instead of I wish I had [TS]

  done this too I can be this or I can't [TS]

  do this and I really like this as a [TS]

  start because it was like saying to me [TS]

  the the reader think about yourself [TS]

  think about the way that you approach [TS]

  problems think about the way that you [TS]

  approach opportunities and how you refer [TS]

  to them and try and understand the [TS]

  things that you are able to change and [TS]

  the things that you are able to kind of [TS]

  influence to change and I found it to be [TS]

  an interesting way to start off and it's [TS]

  something that I know that in my life I [TS]

  have gotten better about over time but [TS]

  there was definitely a period of time [TS]

  for me when I was in [TS]

  branch management where I was not being [TS]

  proactive and I was more focused on the [TS]

  fact that these bad things are just [TS]

  happening to me and I'm not you know and [TS]

  there's nothing I can do about it [TS]

  rather than what I ended up working out [TS]

  later was like why am I doing this I [TS]

  don't like this I need to go out and [TS]

  change something so I did actually quite [TS]

  like this it felt like a good start it [TS]

  was just a shame that it started at 2 [TS]

  hours and 22 minutes yeah just a small [TS]

  note before we move on well you did note [TS]

  that the first the first habit comes in [TS]

  at 2 hours and whatever minutes when one [TS]

  of the remarks that I have here in my [TS]

  highlights is the first promotion of the [TS]

  Stephen Covey business starts at exactly [TS]

  one minute until there was a little bit [TS]

  of a thing to notice that yeah it's [TS]

  interesting because in the actual book [TS]

  there's not a lot of it right because [TS]

  he's talking more about being a teacher [TS]

  because that's what he was when he was [TS]

  writing this book mostly but the [TS]

  foreword is after this book has changed [TS]

  his life and he is now a management [TS]

  consultant right so he's doing these [TS]

  seminars and stuff which he mentions in [TS]

  the book but like if I'm reading it [TS]

  correctly like it wasn't what it ended [TS]

  up becoming mm-hmm like he doesn't make [TS]

  reference to the Covey business empire [TS]

  builds based upon the 7 habits during [TS]

  the book because doesn't exist yet [TS]

  but forward is full of it right which is [TS]

  hilarious right the Clio comes right out [TS]

  of the gate but I just I thought that [TS]

  was just kind of funny and I know it's [TS]

  whatever but I also I also agree like [TS]

  the first chapter it was interesting and [TS]

  I'll say like in fairness to the book I [TS]

  think if it catches you at the right [TS]

  moment in your life I genuinely think [TS]

  that that first chapter can open up a [TS]

  bunch of people's minds to the way that [TS]

  they think about things yeah purely the [TS]

  language stuff like that surely the [TS]

  language stuff the most interest one of [TS]

  the most interesting things of the [TS]

  entire book actually for me because yeah [TS]

  really made me think about huh [TS]

  how do I say this stuff and why do I say [TS]

  it that way yeah you know like I have to [TS]

  do this why do I have to do anything I [TS]

  can choose right right and I found it [TS]

  really interesting yeah it was and it [TS]

  reminded me of a little language [TS]

  which of court was like a totally [TS]

  hopeless lost cause as a teacher but but [TS]

  when I used to have kids come up and say [TS]

  like Oh like I gave him a bad grade like [TS]

  I would always use the language of like [TS]

  no you earned that grade [TS]

  right or like I didn't give you a bad [TS]

  grade like you earned a bad grade just [TS]

  because again it's good paper that I [TS]

  ended up changing until it became bad [TS]

  right like that bad when you gave it to [TS]

  me [TS]

  yeah and just like like just just [TS]

  changing a little bit of the language [TS]

  around that it's like you you are an [TS]

  active participant in this process all [TS]

  right you're you're not just sitting [TS]

  there and I'm handing out grades like [TS]

  there's a thing that's happening between [TS]

  the two of us and I do I do like I said [TS]

  I think if you're at the right stage in [TS]

  your life that this might this might [TS]

  just catch you in the in the right [TS]

  moment and I don't know I don't know [TS]

  what the timeline of this is but um I [TS]

  was just wondering because a lot of this [TS]

  reminded me of I have a relative who is [TS]

  a psychologist and works with like [TS]

  people who've been through some trauma [TS]

  and unwinding them about that and and [TS]

  talking about the process of teaching [TS]

  people to interrupt their own thoughts [TS]

  like teaching people to catch themselves [TS]

  thinking in terms of the world is doing [TS]

  something to them versus you are an [TS]

  actor in the world and and there's just [TS]

  this variant like I talked to her about [TS]

  like it sounds very interesting like the [TS]

  way that she she works with people to [TS]

  say like if you have a fear of heights [TS]

  like how do you work someone out through [TS]

  that and and part of it is like this [TS]

  change of you are you are an actor in [TS]

  the world like you are not the result of [TS]

  all of the actions upon you so it was [TS]

  just kind of reminded me about this [TS]

  thing which as I've gone through some of [TS]

  that sort of stuff and read some of his [TS]

  cognitive behavioral therapy like I [TS]

  guess that's what the times in my life [TS]

  like when I was struggling with some of [TS]

  my work stuff this was a great help to [TS]

  me was was going through some of this [TS]

  stuff because there are some very [TS]

  valuable things in that right like the [TS]

  the idea of understanding that like you [TS]

  can't control everything [TS]

  things happen and how do you react to [TS]

  them and like how do you change the way [TS]

  that you think and say stuff to be [TS]

  better in the world like it's it is a [TS]

  very powerful thing [TS]

  and when I was reading this part this [TS]

  well.when habit one was being read to me [TS]

  by mr. Covey himself I was reminded of a [TS]

  lot of these types of lines and it was [TS]

  like okay this is good that's [TS]

  interesting okay so you saw the [TS]

  similarities to that too yeah I've only [TS]

  just heard about this in like a [TS]

  secondhand way and I just think like [TS]

  okay this this sounds like a very [TS]

  similar idea and at least talking to my [TS]

  family member who does it seems like if [TS]

  you've got serious business about [TS]

  behavior change in humans this seems to [TS]

  be one of the most effective ways to go [TS]

  about it like as far as as far as we [TS]

  know right now I also I did just really [TS]

  like the I think there is a way that he [TS]

  phrased something which is a better way [TS]

  of phrasing an idea that you and I have [TS]

  sometimes spoken about like how we don't [TS]

  really follow the news right orient or [TS]

  intentionally not following a whole [TS]

  bunch of things and I'm always I'm [TS]

  always trying to encourage people to [TS]

  just sort of I don't really like be less [TS]

  aware of the world but in a sense I kind [TS]

  of been like focus on the things that [TS]

  you can do but I did really like his [TS]

  phrasing of this idea that that [TS]

  everybody has this circle of things that [TS]

  they're concerned about and that circle [TS]

  is larger than the things that you can [TS]

  influence and I did think that language [TS]

  change was is an interesting way to [TS]

  frame it because it's like oh of course [TS]

  people get trapped and caught up in [TS]

  constantly thinking about the things [TS]

  that are inside their circle of concern [TS]

  but that are outside their circle of [TS]

  influence and I just I thought like [TS]

  that's a really interesting way to [TS]

  differently frame this idea and I think [TS]

  that is also again like maybe for a [TS]

  person at the right moment that idea can [TS]

  be really liberating to recognize that [TS]

  like yes there are there are many things [TS]

  you may be concerned about over which [TS]

  you have absolutely no influence and so [TS]

  you have to make a decision about not [TS]

  obsessively thinking about that stuff or [TS]

  working to expand your circle of [TS]

  influence so that you can actually do [TS]

  something about it [TS]

  that is no longer out outside of your [TS]

  power so I I thought that was also like [TS]

  a [TS]

  a good way to frame this concept of like [TS]

  selective ignorance in a way habit 2 is [TS]

  begin with the end in mind now I thought [TS]

  that this habit went off the rails [TS]

  incredibly quickly but turn me around so [TS]

  this habit is about envisioning what you [TS]

  want in the future so you can plan and [TS]

  work towards it [TS]

  work towards it [TS]

  and to be effect and the idea is to be [TS]

  effective you need to act based on [TS]

  principles and constantly reviewing a [TS]

  mission statement that you create so [TS]

  there are two main things in this part [TS]

  which is one the envisioning of the [TS]

  future and then the second is the [TS]

  mission statement now [TS]

  I it was really interesting to me [TS]

  because these things were both [TS]

  introduced and my mind was changed about [TS]

  each of them in a 180 so the first is [TS]

  the way he begins talking about [TS]

  envisioning your future is let's picture [TS]

  your funeral and my eyes nearly roll dry [TS]

  all my I do I had the exact same [TS]

  experience of like and he's the idea is [TS]

  what would you like to hear people say [TS]

  about you like and the idea is someone [TS]

  that you work with someone who would [TS]

  talk about your character and someone [TS]

  who would be a friend or family member [TS]

  and what difference would you like to [TS]

  have on people's lives and he says to [TS]

  work out like you know write down what [TS]

  you would want and by the end of this [TS]

  whilst he was clearly going for a shock [TS]

  factor with the let's picture your [TS]

  funeral I found it an interesting [TS]

  exercise because trying to think about [TS]

  what do I want to be thought as people [TS]

  that I work with people that I care [TS]

  about how do I want them to think of me [TS]

  like how would I want them to describe [TS]

  me it doesn't need to be at my funeral [TS]

  right but there was a bit too much but [TS]

  what Waddell and I found that it's don't [TS]

  worry Mike yeah I found that to be an [TS]

  interesting exercise that I took [TS]

  something from write like I wrote some [TS]

  stuff down and I was like I I like this [TS]

  this is a good thing to think about [TS]

  because then how does that affect your [TS]

  life and the things that you do like if [TS]

  you want to be by the end of your life [TS]

  seen as these three or four things how [TS]

  do you get there and what path do you [TS]

  take to make sure you don't deviate from [TS]

  them I found that to be very interesting [TS]

  so beginning with the end in mind so [TS]

  setting up your plan now for how you [TS]

  want to be seen at the end I kind of [TS]

  like them yeah I also couldn't deal with [TS]

  the funeral thing so much it was silly [TS]

  yeah and for me it's it's overblown and [TS]

  like [TS]

  we really pompous in it in a way yeah [TS]

  like oh he's surrounded by all these [TS]

  these loving people nobody nobody has a [TS]

  better thing to do on a Tuesday [TS]

  afternoon and then go to your funeral [TS]

  right it's like whatever but but it [TS]

  again it does it does have a point [TS]

  and there's there's a way of I think the [TS]

  life scale is too big but it is an [TS]

  interesting question when people are [TS]

  working on projects of I kind of like to [TS]

  phrase it it like what is the best thing [TS]

  that could possibly come out of what [TS]

  you're working on right now like if like [TS]

  if everything went absolutely great [TS]

  what's the what's the biggest possible [TS]

  upside of this thing that you're working [TS]

  on and and very often like if you sort [TS]

  of think about that you can realize that [TS]

  some some projects just aren't worth [TS]

  spending the time on but but people can [TS]

  end up starting them I think because [TS]

  they're sort of skipping this idea of [TS]

  thinking about what does the final [TS]

  version of this look like so yeah I [TS]

  think the the whole arc of your life [TS]

  doesn't doesn't really work for me but I [TS]

  I think this is a valuable concept on a [TS]

  smaller scale of have a clear idea in [TS]

  your mind of what you're trying to [TS]

  achieve and and that will help direct [TS]

  your actions towards what it is you [TS]

  actually want to need to do in order to [TS]

  make that happen [TS]

  then the second part of this is the [TS]

  personal mission statement which is the [TS]

  thing that you create and adapt an [TS]

  update throughout your life to try and [TS]

  keep you on the course [TS]

  towards what you want to be remembered [TS]

  for and I was like that's an interesting [TS]

  idea until the personal mission [TS]

  statement became three - four - five - [TS]

  six - seven paragraphs long I was [TS]

  expecting a sentence or two right like a [TS]

  real kind of like a thing you could put [TS]

  on the wall and you could look at it [TS]

  every day and be like that's what I want [TS]

  to be but these patient personal mission [TS]

  statements were like novella lengths for [TS]

  each person that was talking about them [TS]

  and it completely lost me right like [TS]

  rising like Covey's not come he's not a [TS]

  brief guy right now it's not anything [TS]

  that his his personal mission statement [TS]

  would be like let's sit down and write a [TS]

  little novella but then like every [TS]

  example he was giving for these totally [TS]

  100% real people was the same right and [TS]

  it was like it was so [TS]

  referring to me because it built built [TS]

  me up right to this idea I was like I am [TS]

  on board with this this is really great [TS]

  and then it was like you've you've [TS]

  destroyed it because I don't want to [TS]

  have to sit on a beach for an hour like [TS]

  you do every year to write my mission [TS]

  statement like this is something that if [TS]

  I'm gonna do this I want it to be a [TS]

  short thing he actually at one point [TS]

  compares it in length and importance to [TS]

  the American Constitution right do you [TS]

  understand that maybe you've gone too [TS]

  far at this point right and also that's [TS]

  that's probably a big ask I like someone [TS]

  who's reading this book and is trying to [TS]

  turn their life around you're like look [TS]

  just sit down and write a constitution [TS]

  for you yeah whoa so again like I might [TS]

  take this and twist it right and and [TS]

  because I I have now the things that I [TS]

  think about right like what what do I [TS]

  want to be remembered as maybe I should [TS]

  try and turn that into something which [TS]

  is a bit a little bit more realistic for [TS]

  me so it's like this again this is why I [TS]

  am a little bit more on board at this [TS]

  book than a myth because you know we're [TS]

  not that far into it and I've come away [TS]

  with some things that was not perfect [TS]

  I actually think work pretty well mm-hmm [TS]

  you know like this circle of influence [TS]

  circle concern I think is very [TS]

  interesting and it it perfectly explains [TS]

  something that I struggled to explain to [TS]

  people same way that you do and the idea [TS]

  of beginning with the end in mind and [TS]

  kind of how you want to move towards [TS]

  creating something which can encapsulate [TS]

  that there's some interesting stuff in [TS]

  there for me before we move on Mike [TS]

  though before we get on to habit three I [TS]

  just want to pause here for a moment to [TS]

  point out that habit two is when Stephen [TS]

  Covey visits the same magic hotel yes [TS]

  that isn't even a three visitors point [TS]

  I'll actually had almost like a childish [TS]

  Glee of like oh my god I think I was [TS]

  walking through Covent Garden and I [TS]

  think I started laughing out loud when [TS]

  he when he was talking about his magic [TS]

  hotel our favorite part of the e-myth [TS]

  revisited is this hotel that the author [TS]

  goes to which is completely fictional [TS]

  cannot [TS]

  exist in real life yeah I did some [TS]

  digging apparently this hotel is a chain [TS]

  and it does exist but again I don't [TS]

  believe that it goes the way that it [TS]

  does where this hotel created their own [TS]

  personal mission statement which just [TS]

  funnily enough is the same connector [TS]

  that he uses when the book is not been [TS]

  published because apparently that's the [TS]

  thing and that have literally everybody [TS]

  in the company from the housekeeping to [TS]

  the janitors to the bellboys to the [TS]

  everything everybody sat down and was a [TS]

  hundred percent engaged in creating this [TS]

  personal mission statement like don't [TS]

  lie to me tell me if this thing exists [TS]

  that's fine but it wasn't like that it [TS]

  just doesn't work like that yeah there's [TS]

  there's several things here I mean [TS]

  according to the book this mission [TS]

  statement for the hotel was the hub of a [TS]

  great wheel it spawned the thoughtful [TS]

  more specialized mission statements of [TS]

  particular groups and employees and it [TS]

  was used as the criteria for every [TS]

  decision that was made it clarified what [TS]

  people stood for how they related to the [TS]

  customers how they related to the to [TS]

  each other alright this is this is one [TS]

  of these moments and there's there's a [TS]

  example that happens a few pages earlier [TS]

  which is a similar thing which I don't [TS]

  know how to describe it but I think of a [TS]

  kind as a kind of CEO disease where okay [TS]

  let's say this hotel existed and let's [TS]

  say the hotel got everybody from the [TS]

  janitors to the CEO together and they [TS]

  did all work on a mission statement and [TS]

  some and Marana and a document was [TS]

  created I don't know about you but my [TS]

  experience doing that kind of stuff like [TS]

  when I was working for someone is that [TS]

  the rank-and-file employees are all [TS]

  thinking like this is a total BS day [TS]

  where we have to have a silly pointless [TS]

  meeting and the people on top seem to [TS]

  think that something amazing has [TS]

  occurred and as there's I could there's [TS]

  like a great difference in the [TS]

  experience of what people think is [TS]

  happening in the room right and and so [TS]

  it's like even if this happens and I [TS]

  believe it is like I just don't believe [TS]

  that the like the janitors at the hotel [TS]

  are like you know what I feel really on [TS]

  board with the value and position of [TS]

  this hotel like I just don't believe [TS]

  that I think that the janitors are busy [TS]

  thinking like man I got a lot of stuff [TS]

  to clean up today and and this meeting [TS]

  is just making me have to stay after [TS]

  hours to work longer like I think that's [TS]

  what's really happened [TS]

  when this when this occurs the closest [TS]

  I've ever gotten to this I worked for a [TS]

  company when I was in college where it's [TS]

  a big company it's a big department [TS]

  store chain in the UK where they [TS]

  distribute the company's profits to the [TS]

  employees ok right there that is [TS]

  genuinely meaningful right that's it [TS]

  that's a different thing because it's [TS]

  not like words on a page it's money in [TS]

  your pocket this is a huge company make [TS]

  a lot of money and every year every [TS]

  single person gets a bonus which is an [TS]

  incentive of their salary from [TS]

  interesting the person who is pushing [TS]

  shopping carts through the parking lot [TS]

  to the CEO everybody gets the same [TS]

  percentage obviously the amount differs [TS]

  but everybody gets the same percentage [TS]

  that percentage shrinks or grows [TS]

  depending on how well the company does [TS]

  and I saw things in that working for [TS]

  that company that I have never seen [TS]

  since like for example the last person [TS]

  who leaves the staff changing room turns [TS]

  the lights off at night because the [TS]

  electricity bill goes towards the bonus [TS]

  like little things like that where I saw [TS]

  a lot more buying in that company than [TS]

  I've seen in any other company because [TS]

  there is an actual thing that you can [TS]

  point to to show that if we all work [TS]

  towards this together we get something [TS]

  yeah that is it that is a perfect [TS]

  example of what I always feel like what [TS]

  really matters is it's not there's not [TS]

  words it's not trying harder it's a [TS]

  structure that encourages or rewards the [TS]

  actual behavior that you want all right [TS]

  and you know it in these in this book [TS]

  it's so clear that is like if you're the [TS]

  leader of a company your words are just [TS]

  our magic pixie dust that spread on your [TS]

  employees and then and then they just [TS]

  behave in ways that you want them to do [TS]

  it's like that is that is not the way it [TS]

  is and yeah your your description of [TS]

  that is interesting that's like oh look [TS]

  if you set up an actual structure that [TS]

  encourages the behavior that you want [TS]

  you're probably going to get more of the [TS]

  behavior that you want but the but the [TS]

  thing is like that might cost you in [TS]

  other ways but you can't you can't just [TS]

  say costless words and get the same [TS]

  results have it three put first things [TS]

  first [TS]

  so this talks about the difference [TS]

  between leadership and management [TS]

  leadership in the outside world begins a [TS]

  personal vision and personal leadership [TS]

  and it also took switch all of that [TS]

  stuff leadership and management I have [TS]

  no time for I've heard too much of it I [TS]

  can't talk about it I have literally no [TS]

  personal notes about that entire part of [TS]

  the book because I could give a crap [TS]

  about the difference between leadership [TS]

  and management yeah right yeah that this [TS]

  kind of stuff is like skim skim skim but [TS]

  but for me habit 3 but first things [TS]

  first this is where when I say my review [TS]

  was one good idea in a thousand pages [TS]

  this is the chapter that to me had the [TS]

  one good idea yes and I I you know [TS]

  wouldn't you know what I'm going for I [TS]

  knew you were gonna like this right okay [TS]

  yeah so I don't know if this is here's a [TS]

  question I don't know if this is [TS]

  original to Stephen Covey like I've I [TS]

  was I was trying to do a little bit of a [TS]

  digging of digging around and it seems [TS]

  like this idea predates him but it [TS]

  doesn't matter because this is the first [TS]

  place that I came across this idea where [TS]

  he talks about time management matrix [TS]

  and the time management matrix is this [TS]

  four by four grid where you talk about [TS]

  all of you everything that you have to [TS]

  do you can categorize in a couple of [TS]

  ways right you have things that are [TS]

  urgent and things that are not urgent [TS]

  and you have things that are important [TS]

  and you have things that are not [TS]

  important so you can think about your [TS]

  tasks in that way and that ends up with [TS]

  what he like he labels as these little [TS]

  boxes right so like box one is stuff [TS]

  that is urgent and important right and [TS]

  then you have like box three is stuff [TS]

  that is urgent but not important and you [TS]

  can move around all these different [TS]

  categories and this is the thing that I [TS]

  really like because it's a it's a clear [TS]

  way to frame your work that I think is [TS]

  non-obvious to lots of people and the [TS]

  idea that it is so easy to get sucked up [TS]

  into work that is urgent but not [TS]

  important like this is like this is a [TS]

  death trap of productivity and I [TS]

  remember really trying to apply this in [TS]

  a whole bunch [TS]

  waise and and and really really feeling [TS]

  like I get this idea that you know in [TS]

  order to make significant progress like [TS]

  you're gonna have to drop a bunch of [TS]

  stuff that is urgent but not important [TS]

  and instead just focus on the things [TS]

  that are not urgent but are important [TS]

  like there's there's trade-offs you're [TS]

  going to have to let some stuff slide [TS]

  and here is a good matrix for making a [TS]

  decision about in the universe of the [TS]

  infinite number of things that you can [TS]

  do these are the things that you should [TS]

  drop and this is the one section of the [TS]

  book that I think benefits from he has [TS]

  more concrete examples here where he's [TS]

  talking about like you are having a [TS]

  conversation with someone and then the [TS]

  phone rings while you're talking to them [TS]

  like the phone is the thing that is [TS]

  urgent right but the person that you're [TS]

  talking to was important but it's [TS]

  incredibly hard for almost everybody to [TS]

  like resist the the ringing of the phone [TS]

  and he goes through a bunch of these [TS]

  things I think it's really good and I [TS]

  also like he you know he's talking about [TS]

  this idea that a lot of these longer [TS]

  thing longer term things that you can [TS]

  work on that are not urgent but [TS]

  important are also the things that give [TS]

  you more time later because like you're [TS]

  establishing a much more solid [TS]

  foundation about how your routine and [TS]

  how your work life goes and so this to [TS]

  me is like the core of the book is this [TS]

  little section which is at the end of of [TS]

  habit 3 and I think it's the the most [TS]

  valuable per page section of the book so [TS]

  I did really like this I liked the idea [TS]

  of one of the things that comes out of [TS]

  this is learning to be able to say no to [TS]

  things right from knowing that you have [TS]

  a better yes available to you yeah yeah [TS]

  I loved I mean I've heard a million [TS]

  times and said a million times about [TS]

  being able to say no and understanding [TS]

  how they would say no and actually [TS]

  saying though but the idea of the second [TS]

  part of that which is because you know [TS]

  there are better yeses available to you [TS]

  it's very interesting to me like [TS]

  understanding and what is important to [TS]

  you so you can help better gauge [TS]

  opportunities like if you get something [TS]

  that comes to you which is urgent but [TS]

  not important [TS]

  and you can say no to it [TS]

  because there might be something that is [TS]

  urgent and important that you will need [TS]

  to deal with soon and like a lot of [TS]

  these like meetings many meetings that [TS]

  might come up immediately say no to [TS]

  write the qidan maybe don't need to be [TS]

  at that meeting because you have [TS]

  something that you know is gonna be [TS]

  there which is important for you so the [TS]

  idea of knowing you have better yes is [TS]

  available understanding what is [TS]

  important to you and what is urgent to [TS]

  you and focus on those things and then [TS]

  finding ways to delegate and or not do [TS]

  the other stuff very powerful way of [TS]

  thinking about it and you know drawing [TS]

  out this grid the time management matrix [TS]

  that he talks about I've drawn it out in [TS]

  my Apple notes as he was explaining it [TS]

  and I liked the way that that all looked [TS]

  it's difficult to explain but simple to [TS]

  say and you can find this stuff and I'll [TS]

  find some links and put them into the [TS]

  notes so you can see what it looks like [TS]

  if you can actually see it it starts to [TS]

  make a lot more sense the rest of this [TS]

  chapter though a lot of it may be the [TS]

  net like two-thirds of it is talking [TS]

  about time management methods didn't [TS]

  didn't care it was just happening to me [TS]

  I'm not interested from 1989 talking to [TS]

  me about time management because the [TS]

  tools are not the same anymore and I [TS]

  know some of the fundamental purposes [TS]

  and the fundamental ideas will be the [TS]

  same but here's at points talking about [TS]

  specific functions and tools and like [TS]

  planners and notebooks it's like no like [TS]

  I might or might not use something like [TS]

  this but there are better systems out [TS]

  there now stuff like bullet journaling [TS]

  which I'm more interested in looking at [TS]

  than listening to Stephen Covey in 1989 [TS]

  telling me how to manage my time I feel [TS]

  like a pre-internet age book is maybe [TS]

  not the best place to get this stuff [TS]

  from [TS]

  ya know it's not good for this stuff and [TS]

  while I do really like that section and [TS]

  and you know it's it's maybe like three [TS]

  or four pages where he's going a few how [TS]

  to think about this then I feel like oh [TS]

  the book the book briefly elevates to [TS]

  something good and then it quickly [TS]

  descends because at the end that there's [TS]

  there's a section where where he's [TS]

  posing the question to himself about [TS]

  like but how do you know what is [TS]

  important and like well that's it that's [TS]

  a good question all right Leila how do [TS]

  you know what is important in your life [TS]

  and the answer is your principle Center [TS]

  your self-awareness and your [TS]

  consciousness [TS]

  can provide a high degree of intrinsic [TS]

  security guidance and wisdom to empower [TS]

  you to use your independent will and [TS]

  maintain integrity to that which is [TS]

  truly important that's like go to hell [TS]

  man right like there's not an aunt like [TS]

  you'll just like this is this is again [TS]

  like the recurring theme of like you'll [TS]

  just make good decisions like oh you'll [TS]

  just know what's truly it was like don't [TS]

  say anything if you're gonna say that [TS]

  because you might as well not say [TS]

  anything in a bit but yeah it the the [TS]

  after that section like the chapter [TS]

  rapidly descends and I do have to say [TS]

  we're up to we're up to habit 3 and from [TS]

  from this point on the book to me [TS]

  descends rapidly into worthlessness like [TS]

  I think 99% of the value is in the first [TS]

  three chapters and you could take those [TS]

  three first three chapters and decrease [TS]

  them by 75% and get out out from the [TS]

  book most of what you're going to get [TS]

  out of it okay so I'm mostly agree of [TS]

  you and I wonder if this is a thing [TS]

  about me and you as opposed to the book [TS]

  the first three chapters are focus [TS]

  mostly on working on your own skills and [TS]

  how you make yourself more effective the [TS]

  next three are about working with other [TS]

  people in what seems to be focused on [TS]

  large groups and lots of people and I [TS]

  think that there is a lot of this stuff [TS]

  which is like how are you more effective [TS]

  in a business meeting with 12 people in [TS]

  the room how are you more effective in [TS]

  doing a deal with a multinational [TS]

  corporation like things that I think [TS]

  that me and you have mostly moved away [TS]

  from in our lives because that's not the [TS]

  type of work that interests us like we [TS]

  are more focused on being independent [TS]

  and having our own small businesses as [TS]

  opposed to being a cog in an a huge [TS]

  machine which I think habits four or [TS]

  five and six seem to focus a lot more on [TS]

  like they seem to be really focused on [TS]

  working in a corporation that's what I'm [TS]

  trying to get to with this like they [TS]

  seem to be way more folk [TS]

  on how do you become the best employee [TS]

  out of the 10,000 employees of your [TS]

  company and I wonder if maybe me and you [TS]

  don't take so much because I don't I [TS]

  didn't really like all of the stuff that [TS]

  I like is in one two and three four five [TS]

  and six there is some nuggets in there [TS]

  that are interesting but there is like [TS]

  one or two of the inhabits that are just [TS]

  completely pointless to me mm-hmm [TS]

  and I wonder if it's just something [TS]

  about how me and you think or if they [TS]

  are mostly that way I don't know yeah [TS]

  there is something to that that this is [TS]

  less focused to us it's funny I didn't [TS]

  so much get the feeling that this is [TS]

  necessarily part of being a very large [TS]

  group [TS]

  I got obviously the whole point of the [TS]

  next three is it is about working with [TS]

  people but I didn't have that feeling so [TS]

  much that it's it's like you're you're a [TS]

  cog in this machine [TS]

  maybe it's partly because he's so still [TS]

  much incredibly talking about his family [TS]

  like in win-win solutions for him and [TS]

  his wife and there is there is a [TS]

  possibility I'm applying this to things [TS]

  that I have experienced yeah that you're [TS]

  thinking of it in this way but I also I [TS]

  also think that it the the like the [TS]

  ratio of the idea to the practicality of [TS]

  it drops to absolutely nothing like the [TS]

  win-win chapter in particular this is [TS]

  habit fall think win-win yeah before [TS]

  think win-win has some of the most crazy [TS]

  stories in in terms of the way to come [TS]

  up with win-win solutions is to have a [TS]

  great win-win solution for everybody and [TS]

  and that's like just over and over again [TS]

  where it's like oh there's two people [TS]

  who didn't agree but then someone came [TS]

  up with a win-win solution right that [TS]

  that's served them both and there's [TS]

  something that to me that felts like so [TS]

  artificially constructed about these [TS]

  scenarios and it's like man most of the [TS]

  time if you're having a real [TS]

  disagreement with someone is like the [TS]

  hard part is finding a win-win solution [TS]

  is not the idea of gee I wish there is [TS]

  something that both of us could get out [TS]

  of this right like it's it's I found [TS]

  that these next chapters just have very [TS]

  very little actionable nacinda minute [TS]

  and it goes into real crazy town of like [TS]

  things are good when they're good and [TS]

  and do the right stuff there was a lot [TS]

  of habit for think win-win that was [TS]

  gibberish to me mostly the amount of [TS]

  different win lose lose win lose lose [TS]

  win lose there is it reminding me there [TS]

  is a scene in the office I things like a [TS]

  whole episode oh my god I was thinking [TS]

  of the exact same thing yeah I know what [TS]

  you're talking about when like it's like [TS]

  home they must have got it from this [TS]

  book I can't imagine any other way but [TS]

  it's the idea is balancing decisions and [TS]

  actions in such a way that everybody [TS]

  benefits and that relationships don't [TS]

  get damaged so you get what you want all [TS]

  relationships don't get damaged because [TS]

  you've given in to somebody else there [TS]

  is something interesting in that which [TS]

  is oh it relates to something I did we [TS]

  didn't talk about which is the emotional [TS]

  bank account the emotional bank account [TS]

  is something a part of habit 3 this is [TS]

  one of the many ideas the Covey creates [TS]

  however whilst again he goes on way too [TS]

  long talking about this the idea of the [TS]

  emotional bank account I found to be an [TS]

  interesting one and it is the idea is [TS]

  that the amount of trust that you built [TS]

  as somebody helps you work with them in [TS]

  whatever it is in your life family [TS]

  business relationships and you make [TS]

  deposits to the bank account through [TS]

  doing good things and you make [TS]

  withdrawals from the emotional bank [TS]

  account through mistakes that you make [TS]

  bad things that you do but they're just [TS]

  withdrawals because you've made so many [TS]

  deposits that they just take a little [TS]

  bit from it rather than destroying [TS]

  everything this is the emotional bank [TS]

  account again I liked it when he [TS]

  proposed it but by the end of the book [TS]

  I'd heard it too many times [TS]

  but he applies the win-win idea to the [TS]

  emotional bank account because if you [TS]

  are not thinking in a win-win scenario [TS]

  you may withdraw too much from the bank [TS]

  account because people are losing that [TS]

  kind of idea these two things they marry [TS]

  into each other in a way of trying to [TS]

  make sure you balance decisions so that [TS]

  everybody remains happy and trustful in [TS]

  a relationship of subscription mm-hmm [TS]

  but the win-win stuff it's like he could [TS]

  have actually spoken about it in five [TS]

  minutes but instead he took an hour and [TS]

  a half like there is too much stuff in [TS]

  this and it becomes baffling to under [TS]

  and by the time he's done with her like [TS]

  just like I don't I I tried and could [TS]

  not get my head around it but the idea [TS]

  effective is just if everybody wins is [TS]

  better for everybody's happiness in the [TS]

  long term like you don't run a shaft [TS]

  somebody now because later on you may [TS]

  lose their business you know and he [TS]

  gives some wild examples of huge deals [TS]

  he left on the table and then companies [TS]

  come back and give them every penny that [TS]

  they've ever made just for the pleasure [TS]

  of working with him but I will say in my [TS]

  work in my business part of what I do is [TS]

  advertising sales I have always tried to [TS]

  work in this way of like if you try and [TS]

  have a good relationship with people [TS]

  they're maybe going to be more likely to [TS]

  come back to you in the future and if [TS]

  you maybe try and squeeze every penny [TS]

  out of somebody you may harm the [TS]

  relationship like that is the Nugget [TS]

  here which is interesting but the [TS]

  problem with this habit with this [TS]

  chapter is it incredibly overblown to [TS]

  the point of almost nonsensical yes yeah [TS]

  and it's all there's also something [TS]

  about this chapter which strikes me as [TS]

  [Music] [TS]

  this may be unfair but it strikes me a [TS]

  little bit as like let's just teach [TS]

  murderers not to murder like I think [TS]

  people who are really focused on the [TS]

  idea of like I'm gonna I'm gonna screw [TS]

  over my business partners to get every [TS]

  last penny today like I don't I don't [TS]

  think those people you're gonna do a [TS]

  great job of explaining the concept of [TS]

  long-term human relationships I think [TS]

  people are again like in my experience [TS]

  in business as well as like people are [TS]

  already naturally on board with this [TS]

  idea or they aren't and I just don't [TS]

  think there's a lot of motion across the [TS]

  aisle on this topic so it strikes me as [TS]

  a like a somewhat pointless topic [TS]

  today's episode of cortex is brought to [TS]

  you by timing the automatic time [TS]

  tracking app for Mac hey time tracking [TS]

  we spoke about that a bunch on this show [TS]

  some of you love it [TS]

  some of you find it tricky it doesn't [TS]

  matter what it is I know that time [TS]

  tracking can be a tricky thing [TS]

  mostly for a lot of people because you [TS]

  have to start and stop timers it [TS]

  interrupts your workflow and honesty you [TS]

  often forget to do it sometimes but why [TS]

  should you be the one that has to do [TS]

  all that work timing automatically [TS]

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  and because timing collects more data [TS]

  than a regular time tracker is use [TS]

  extends far beyond billing hours it [TS]

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  which app or website when you slacked [TS]

  off and how productive you've been so [TS]

  you know how to improve your [TS]

  productivity going forward but timing [TS]

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  on your Mac and that's why timings [TS]

  timeline automatically make suggestions [TS]

  for filling gaps in your timeline and [TS]

  can ask you what you did offline every [TS]

  time you return to your Mac that way [TS]

  you'll never forget to enter a meeting [TS]

  again there are loads of great grass and [TS]

  chance that break down not just the apps [TS]

  that I've been using but also [TS]

  categorizations of the types of tasks [TS]

  that I will be completing in them these [TS]

  categories can be completely customized [TS]

  so when I'm for example in logic I can [TS]

  say oh whenever I'm in logic I'm editing [TS]

  a podcast and that's an easy thing to do [TS]

  and then everything that I can tag [TS]

  arises podcasts can all go into one bin [TS]

  one to one category no matter what type [TS]

  of app but it is timing can even give [TS]

  you a sense of what your most productive [TS]

  times are based upon the data it sees [TS]

  from a perspective of week days all the [TS]

  way down to hours which is awesome these [TS]

  tools are great for just entering this [TS]

  information but what you really get the [TS]

  benefit from is being able to get graphs [TS]

  and charts and statistics and figures [TS]

  because then you can use the information [TS]

  that you're logging all the information [TS]

  in time is case that is being logged [TS]

  automatically for you because it's [TS]

  awesome like that to make some real [TS]

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  get the 14-day free trial save 10% or [TS]

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  stop worrying about time and focus on [TS]

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  understood use empathetic listening to [TS]

  genuinely understand [TS]

  which compels them to reciprocate the [TS]

  listening and take an open mind to being [TS]

  influenced by you mm-hmm okay so if I [TS]

  was gonna say the one interesting thing [TS]

  in this diagnosed before you prescribe [TS]

  that's all this needs to be he explains [TS]

  it pretty well with a nother ludicrous [TS]

  example of how likely everyone in his [TS]

  town was a football game and his [TS]

  daughter was sick and she was a newborn [TS]

  and there was meta it's like it was this [TS]

  wild thing that explains the idea of [TS]

  before you try and tell someone what to [TS]

  do listen to them first right yeah [TS]

  that's kind of it yeah but it is [TS]

  massively overblown ethos pathos and [TS]

  logos comes up at one point I ain't get [TS]

  what that was all about the OL idea of [TS]

  empathetic listening is interesting you [TS]

  know you you mimic what somebody says [TS]

  rephrase it reflect the feelings right [TS]

  so like you listening to what people are [TS]

  saying you're showing them that you're [TS]

  listening by repeating to them what [TS]

  they're saying is cetera et cetera [TS]

  there's some interesting stuff in there [TS]

  but this has one of the most overblown [TS]

  examples that he gives I've been saving [TS]

  for this moment she's way mature he is [TS]

  talking to his son about being a [TS]

  mechanic I got okay do you remember this [TS]

  one I'm trying to I'm trying to remember [TS]

  because this one was one of the like I'm [TS]

  skipping the fastest through here [TS]

  because I know it's like yeah I'm on [TS]

  board with the idea of trying to [TS]

  understand someone before you before you [TS]

  do these things and I was I was having a [TS]

  hard time so start start me with the [TS]

  mechanic story because I'm not [TS]

  remembering it off the top of my head so [TS]

  he he's saying about I think he I don't [TS]

  remember if he's saying this is his son [TS]

  or he's just creating an example right [TS]

  of and I think he might mention this at [TS]

  one point about a kid who yeah he he [TS]

  does actually say like this is one he's [TS]

  just posing an idea here right I think [TS]

  that maybe imagine is something a kid [TS]

  who comes to their father and doesn't [TS]

  want to go to school anymore and says I [TS]

  don't want to go to school anymore and [TS]

  he plays out his conversation it plays [TS]

  both sides there's conversation and the [TS]

  kid is like I don't want to go to school [TS]

  and it does like what we work for [TS]

  to send you to school and like set [TS]

  researcher and he's playing not only [TS]

  both of these people but also this like [TS]

  Greek chorus of explaining the [TS]

  imagination and mind would about people [TS]

  were feeling at this moment of lightning [TS]

  and then and then he plays it again but [TS]

  speaking both as the PAS as the child [TS]

  but also was the child's in a monologue [TS]

  at that moment of being like he doesn't [TS]

  want to listen to me wide right why does [TS]

  he hate me and then plays this other way [TS]

  of like if you did it with empathic [TS]

  listening how it would improve the [TS]

  situation to the point where the kid who [TS]

  doesn't want to go to school because [TS]

  he's talking about like there's a friend [TS]

  of his or like a friend of a family [TS]

  who's become a mechanic and they've done [TS]

  well and they didn't go to school why [TS]

  don't I do that this is like how the [TS]

  first two examples of this goes and it [TS]

  has like being a mechanic is ridiculous [TS]

  you need to go and be a lawyer I don't [TS]

  know why coffee hates mechanic so much [TS]

  but apparently does really hates [TS]

  mechanics it's very strange almost as [TS]

  much as he hates television also very [TS]

  strange like he's talking about like oh [TS]

  don't be a mechanic and then it gets to [TS]

  a point where the final way with the [TS]

  father is using empathic listening the [TS]

  kid is explaining oh but you know I want [TS]

  to be a mechanic and the kids and then [TS]

  the dad's like but does Joey have such a [TS]

  great life and the kids like I don't [TS]

  know to the point where the kid also [TS]

  hates mechanics and he loves school it's [TS]

  like this isn't how this conversation [TS]

  would go it genuinely ends though with [TS]

  him saying hmm [TS]

  owning up to the fact that this is [TS]

  probably not how this conversation with [TS]

  God like that's how he finishes this in [TS]

  a 20 minute thing and he's like I know [TS]

  it's like I have created this example [TS]

  and I know maybe this isn't how we'll go [TS]

  and there are a bunch of different ways [TS]

  that it could go but this is how [TS]

  empathic listening might help like oh my [TS]

  god this is so ridiculous that he can't [TS]

  even finish it by owning like by like [TS]

  owning it he has to loan up to the fact [TS]

  that this is probably not how this [TS]

  conversation would play out like why are [TS]

  we doing this then this this was one of [TS]

  the most wild in the book like I really [TS]

  unlike listening to [TS]

  and I just couldn't understand why he [TS]

  felt the requirement to do it in this [TS]

  way yeah I remember now going through [TS]

  this and just being confused at the [TS]

  multiple for like I just I don't [TS]

  understand what's happening here like [TS]

  it's just listening through this thing [TS]

  and my brains not fully paying attention [TS]

  it's like wait a minute is it the same [TS]

  story again like am I going senile or is [TS]

  he going see like I just remember this [TS]

  being like a weird a weird confusing [TS]

  masses like is there some kind of art [TS]

  project happening in the middle of this [TS]

  book like I don't I don't get it habit [TS]

  six synergize oh this is maximum crazy [TS]

  this is maximum crazy in the book this [TS]

  is where it goes off the rails in just [TS]

  an amazing way because here Stephen [TS]

  Covey is is trying to say like synergy [TS]

  is the result of all the things that we [TS]

  have talked about before and so it's [TS]

  like you know all these buzz words like [TS]

  we're bringing them all back people like [TS]

  and they're all gonna be in a row and [TS]

  we're gonna talk about all of them [TS]

  together and and this to me this chapter [TS]

  is maximum crazy like his definitions of [TS]

  synergy his stories there's one story at [TS]

  the end that I particularly like but but [TS]

  yeah this this one is this one is rough [TS]

  I think there is not a single sentence [TS]

  no value in the entire chapter so the [TS]

  idea of habit six is to combine the [TS]

  strengths of people through positive [TS]

  teamwork so as to achieve goals that no [TS]

  one could have done alone all right [TS]

  it's not compromised by the way [TS]

  compromise is not synergy no no [TS]

  compromise is not synergy compromise is [TS]

  one plus one equals one and a half Mike [TS]

  okay let me try to explain this I don't [TS]

  know how I'm going to be able to so [TS]

  apparently synergy is when the whole is [TS]

  greater than the sum of its parts in [TS]

  synergy you could get one plus one [TS]

  equals three or as he says one plus one [TS]

  equals ten or ten thousand or 50,000 [TS]

  what are you doing like if you lost your [TS]

  mind why are you saying these numbers [TS]

  but compromising is not synergy it is a [TS]

  lower form of win-win if you compromise [TS]

  it's like one plus one equals 1.5 which [TS]

  to be honest still sounds pretty good [TS]

  because it's you know like whatever but [TS]

  one plus one equals one point five [TS]

  one but synergizing is one plus one [TS]

  equals three [TS]

  now dear listener if you do not [TS]

  understand this that's fine because I [TS]

  don't either [TS]

  I don't know what the difference is and [TS]

  I've and I've listened to the whole book [TS]

  just to be I mean just to be clear quote [TS]

  synergy is the essence of [TS]

  principle-centered leadership it is the [TS]

  essence of principle centered parenting [TS]

  it catalyzes unifies and unleashes the [TS]

  greatest powers within people all the [TS]

  habits we have covered us prepare us to [TS]

  create the miracle of synergy which [TS]

  which is just like algebra new algebra [TS]

  rules and yeah it's the the chapter is [TS]

  amazing he's really obsessed with the [TS]

  idea of constantly referring to one plus [TS]

  one equal in some other number like this [TS]

  is this is his constant go-to with what [TS]

  synergy means in this chapter - one of [TS]

  my one of my favorite little stories [TS]

  here which is it's almost like the [TS]

  checkmate meme on the internet like it's [TS]

  like happening in real conversation [TS]

  where I don't know if you remember but [TS]

  he's he's talking to a guy who's like [TS]

  doubting the concept of synergy so again [TS]

  as with all of these stories it's [TS]

  somehow it's somehow quickly turns to [TS]

  marriage and family everything is [TS]

  marriage and family but so some someone [TS]

  is doubting that this this magic of [TS]

  synergy exists - steven covey oh god I [TS]

  just remembered it yes so good yeah and [TS]

  so so I think he turn he turns to the [TS]

  guy and and the book says like I looked [TS]

  at the two of them so it's the guy and [TS]

  his wife yeah cuz yeah that this guy is [TS]

  having that they're having problems in [TS]

  their relationship and for some reason [TS]

  so he meets this guy obviously at the [TS]

  end of a conference and he invites [TS]

  coffee to go to lunch with him and his [TS]

  wife so he can listen to the way that [TS]

  they communicate yeah yeah right and and [TS]

  and this is this is also a thing that I [TS]

  don't have a whole lot of tolerance for [TS]

  words like a lot of weird 1980 science [TS]

  about the concept of left versus right [TS]

  brain beautiful under how you'd feel [TS]

  about that yeah he's like he's a really [TS]

  left brain person that used a really [TS]

  right brain person and like this is a [TS]

  weird idea that still still infects [TS]

  educational pedagogy today and like all [TS]

  of the stuff that this is based on is [TS]

  non replicable in his nonsense oh it's [TS]

  like okay whatever so but so steven [TS]

  covey like professional psychologist PhD [TS]

  like oh these these are his aligner he's [TS]

  like oh these are these are two half [TS]

  bringing people living together like [TS]

  that they're having a hard time talking [TS]

  and he says like you guys need to be [TS]

  more synergistic in there and they're [TS]

  saying I don't understand what you mean [TS]

  by by synergy and so the again [TS]

  resolution to fix this guy's marriage [TS]

  here's how it goes [TS]

  Stephen Covey says do you have any [TS]

  children [TS]

  I asked yes - really [TS]

  I asked incredulously which feels a bit [TS]

  presumptuous there he's and then super [TS]

  so Stephen Covey says how did you do it [TS]

  and they said what do you mean how did [TS]

  we do it [TS]

  you were synergistic I said one plus one [TS]

  usually equals two but you made one plus [TS]

  one equals four [TS]

  now that's synergy the whole is greater [TS]

  than the sum of the parts and it's like [TS]

  you're just counting things like it's so [TS]

  yeah well it's not like these people [TS]

  they can't communicate they struggle to [TS]

  communicate they seem to kind of not [TS]

  really like each other very much anymore [TS]

  yeah for some reason you fixed it by [TS]

  saying they hate kids ten years ago like [TS]

  I don't understand right the solution [TS]

  yeah so this this this is just maximum [TS]

  crazy in this chapter like it doesn't [TS]

  make any sense like in his mind people [TS]

  can only have children if they're in a [TS]

  healthy functional relationship yeah [TS]

  that that is like that is a good way to [TS]

  put it like he's he's like but your [TS]

  children are here like well I don't [TS]

  understand that what why do you have a [TS]

  problem don't you understand that if you [TS]

  have children that shows that you're [TS]

  you're great together it's like I don't [TS]

  know man even from your telling of this [TS]

  story it sounds like maybe they should [TS]

  get divorced like for the minuses like [TS]

  can he do one minus one equals negative [TS]

  B a plus like somehow in his mind one [TS]

  minus one would be 2 million or [TS]

  something yeah toughing hates math like [TS]

  he hates TV he at some point goes into [TS]

  this run and I don't know where exactly [TS]

  it is mm-hmm he is talking about how TV [TS]

  is mostly bad for us and there are some [TS]

  educational shows that are good and we [TS]

  watch 40 hours a week of TV somehow [TS]

  in his household they watch seven hours [TS]

  a week and everybody is happy with that [TS]

  like not really sure why he gets into [TS]

  this but like he seems to feel that like [TS]

  TV is a plague on society it's very [TS]

  strange yeah yeah they're a bunch of [TS]

  just digs out of nowhere at TV oh I [TS]

  actually think it is in habit 7 which is [TS]

  called sharpen the saw so habit 7 is [TS]

  about the continued improvement of the [TS]

  other habits so it is taking everything [TS]

  that you have making and continuing over [TS]

  your life to build and renew resources [TS]

  energy and improve your health to create [TS]

  a sustainable long-term effective [TS]

  lifestyle and you have to be able to [TS]

  sharpen the saw and make your life good [TS]

  so you can live the rest of the habits [TS]

  and it brings it all together and this [TS]

  is broken down into three major parts [TS]

  which is physical renewal which is [TS]

  exercising something kind of referred to [TS]

  as good service which can be considered [TS]

  as prayer or meditation or helping in [TS]

  your community and mental renewal which [TS]

  is reading this is where he talks about [TS]

  the problem of TV because he believes [TS]

  that people should be reading all the [TS]

  time right yeah yeah it's the reading on [TS]

  there yeah I had nothing about this one [TS]

  this one I it was just because by this [TS]

  point the technical debt that he is [TS]

  created with the phrases and the [TS]

  buzzwords is almost monumental oh yeah [TS]

  there was a point in this book where [TS]

  it's like you just said 50 words and I [TS]

  think you created 15 of them like I [TS]

  don't understand what you're talking [TS]

  about anymore because intro dependence [TS]

  and interdependence you use both of them [TS]

  and I sometimes don't know which one [TS]

  you're talking about at this point and [TS]

  he's trying to sum up too many things [TS]

  that he's created yeah it it doesn't it [TS]

  doesn't work anymore [TS]

  it's like TLDR go to the gym and take [TS]

  care of your mind yeah yeah like that's [TS]

  that that's the end of it with no real [TS]

  practical advice on anything and it's I [TS]

  think there's actually a very [TS]

  interesting question around this this [TS]

  idea which he doesn't touch it all but [TS]

  it's like you could have a much more [TS]

  interesting conversation around this [TS]

  because I feel like this is [TS]

  a thing in them in the modern world [TS]

  which is the concept of burnout like [TS]

  people never taking time you know it to [TS]

  have breaks or to regenerates [TS]

  intellectual capital like or build [TS]

  themselves back up but it's like there's [TS]

  there could be something interesting [TS]

  here about constantly working is [TS]

  depleting a resource and you you have to [TS]

  be aware of rebuilding that resource in [TS]

  times off it is like there's no [TS]

  discussion of that it's just continually [TS]

  additive like you you're you're adding [TS]

  all of these habits and all of these [TS]

  activities into your life and they're [TS]

  like and now on top of it like we're [TS]

  going to add all of this community [TS]

  service like and you're also going to be [TS]

  reading and you're going to be going to [TS]

  the gym and it just at this point it [TS]

  almost feels like overwhelming the sheer [TS]

  number of things that a person would [TS]

  have to do to maintain all of this so [TS]

  yeah it's there could be a good idea [TS]

  here but this this chapter is like it is [TS]

  at the end and you just feel like I [TS]

  can't I can't go on alright please [TS]

  please just please make it end please [TS]

  make it end and that is it that's the [TS]

  seven Habits I maintain I want to summer [TS]

  I want to maintain III did find use in [TS]

  this book and I get excited to talk [TS]

  about the bad things cuz it's funny [TS]

  right to talk about the terrible things [TS]

  with you but I do think there are some [TS]

  interesting things in this book that I [TS]

  am gonna take with me you know the idea [TS]

  of be thinking about being proactive and [TS]

  understanding the language that I use [TS]

  and how it affects things thinking about [TS]

  how I want to be remembered [TS]

  thinking about training made me create a [TS]

  personal mission statement and what that [TS]

  might look like as a way to sum up how I [TS]

  want my life to go before me thinking [TS]

  about things that are important and [TS]

  urgent and how I delegate and the [TS]

  emotional bank account like these are [TS]

  things that I find genuinely [TS]

  thought-provoking um in a way that a lot [TS]

  of these business books don't have the [TS]

  ability to make me think about so many [TS]

  things as this one has done mmm [TS]

  so I having read this book I can see why [TS]

  it had been so popular because there are [TS]

  things in here that are interesting [TS]

  thirty years later to me right this book [TS]

  is thirty nearly thirty years old and I [TS]

  think that there is some genuinely [TS]

  interesting stuff in this book [TS]

  but there is also as of all of these [TS]

  books a lot of nonsense just real [TS]

  nonsense but and unfortunately these two [TS]

  ideas are not real these two things are [TS]

  not really mixed together it's like the [TS]

  first half is good and the second half [TS]

  is crazy which is you know they didn't [TS]

  mix it up so it kind of lost me yeah [TS]

  yeah I I have to hard not recommend this [TS]

  book to anybody I just think for anybody [TS]

  who is trying to improve their life it's [TS]

  just it's too much to slog through it's [TS]

  it's too incoherent and while this is [TS]

  the foundation of very many of books in [TS]

  this genre I think you're probably [TS]

  better off picking up you know something [TS]

  that is written that is more modern [TS]

  which may be ripping off the ideas of [TS]

  this book but but doing it in a more [TS]

  coherent and constructive manner so as I [TS]

  just I cannot recommend this one because [TS]

  the crazy is just it's too much and the [TS]

  book is so long it's such a big ask to [TS]

  have somebody go go through with it I [TS]

  just I can never imagine a situation in [TS]

  which I would recommend to anybody to [TS]

  read this book like again I haven't read [TS]

  anything further there are more books in [TS]

  this idea like created by the Covey [TS]

  company that could be better right like [TS]

  they could be more updated they could be [TS]

  more abbreviated which might be better [TS]

  but yeah I agree that like I said there [TS]

  are interesting things here I recommend [TS]

  trying to find something that builds [TS]

  upon some of the habits you know maybe [TS]

  finding out a bit about them honestly [TS]

  you've probably got a lot of what you [TS]

  need from us talking about it for you to [TS]

  decide if you think any of these things [TS]

  are interesting to you and then maybe [TS]

  try and find things offshoots of it [TS]

  maybe just focusing on some of the [TS]

  specific habits because it is really [TS]

  really long and there is a lot of it [TS]

  that really doesn't need to be there and [TS]

  that with all of these books it is what [TS]

  makes it hard that they are filling [TS]

  pages a lot of it is just genuinely [TS]

  pages need to be filled and they're [TS]

  filling them and you can feel that there [TS]

  are times when you could just really [TS]

  feel like he's hitting a workout for [TS]

  this chapter [TS]

  because there's just like I don't know [TS]

  why you're talking about this anymore [TS]

  so they're I don't think he's hitting a [TS]

  word count right this to me again just [TS]

  it just it just reads as like a Markov [TS]

  chain generator that people just didn't [TS]

  didn't shut off soon enough right and [TS]

  it's like oh we got a thousand changes [TS]

  right of this thing and ship it all [TS]

  right like whatever it because it [TS]

  doesn't matter because it's like it's [TS]

  it's fractally self-similar at a large [TS]

  scale in a small scale like it's it's [TS]

  all the same throughout the whole thing [TS]

  it doesn't matter just ship a thousand [TS]

  pages of it so yeah there are books [TS]

  where I definitely feel like oh I can [TS]

  see how you turned your interesting [TS]

  article into a paperback book that [TS]

  you're now going to sell I and there's [TS]

  like then you can feel like okay you're [TS]

  obviously just padding here but but this [TS]

  this i think i think we're getting pure [TS]

  covey here III think there was no point [TS]

  where he was like I need to hit that [TS]

  word count I feel like he he had this [TS]

  book flow through him and it and it came [TS]

  out into the world Mike do you want to [TS]

  close out our discussion on the seven [TS]

  Habits of Highly Effective People with [TS]

  the music that was played in the seven [TS]

  Habits of Highly Effective People I [TS]

  think so because we had to listen to it [TS]

  a lot so I think our listeners should [TS]

  have to get it just at least once just [TS]

  so they can understand the sacrifice [TS]

  that we made for them so yes here is the [TS]

  music which punctuated almost every ten [TS]

  minutes it felt like of the seven Habits [TS]

  of Highly Effective People [TS]

  [Music] [TS]

  you [TS]