Hello Internet

H.I. #77: Woah, Dude


  okay Brady I need an honest answer how

  stupid do I look are you wearing like

  the earbuds with no wise the new apple

  thing in me

  yeah i got the new apple earpods yeah

  I'm not cool with him you're not cool

  with them I wanted your opinion on this

  you're gonna give them a thumbs down yep

  down so the answer to how stupid do I

  look is very more stupid than you should

  the lack of wires coming out of these

  devices now I'm just realizing at every

  turn the problems is eventually going to

  cause me if I stay in the apple

  ecosystem you know I went and looked at

  google pixel in the shop I wouldn't ask

  to hold 10 did you I did

  that's how serious I'm getting there

  that's very serious did you check out

  what the wolf emoji looks like on the

  pixel was that your number one thing

  that you're a Salesman didn't get to

  that stage they had this huge security

  contraption bolted to it looks so you

  couldn't really get a good feel of what

  it was like without this huge thing

  glued to the bottom of a bit cord and I

  was like this is ridiculous man I want

  to hold one with that this stupid thing

  so they had to go out the back and get

  one of their own and bring it out to me

  to home

  what like the salesman's private phone

  yeah which had some skin on it as well

  it was bloody amateur hour so I yes I do

  think those pods the Daft they look so

  fragile in the ear to that just like

  gonna fall out all the time do they stay

  in nicely i have to say the airport's do

  stay in remarkably well I actually think

  that they stay in better than the wired

  headphones because you don't have the

  wire tugging on them all the time

  mm I've seen a few people wearing them

  around London while I'm wearing my own

  headphones and every time I see somebody

  else wearing the Apple earpods I think

  wow that looks really silly and then of

  course realized that I to one of these

  people walking around looking really

  silly yeah i think this is like a

  perfect example of how like fashion is

  accepted among people like it's a thing

  that looks strange because people

  haven't seen it i don't know i think

  people get used to it but it's very very

  weird to have them you know great you

  are an Apple watch that in my eyes

  you're shameless

  ok I think clearly as far as sticking

  out in a crowd that these of course

  white apple air pods stick out a

  thousand times more than Apple watch

  so I'm going

  disagree with you on that one I'm sure

  we'll get used to them in no time and

  the world keeps turning you know it's

  Australia Day today by the way as we're

  recording is that Australian

  independence day

  mm no it's not independence day at marks

  when the first flight arrived in

  Australia to sort of start colonizing

  that's kind of controversial because I

  guess you could say it's wipe out the

  Aborigines day

  well i hope the meaning of the day is

  changing a bit now there's a bit more

  recognition of past wrongs but the date

  does actually celebrate the arrival of

  the first fleet the arrival of the first

  flight was there because of other

  reasons funny banned Sydney how about

  detailed and kind of germs and steel

  that's why the Aborigines didn't build

  the first fleet well happy australia day

  thank you

  now grey yeah it's been such a long time

  since we spoke because you've been away

  having special great i'm again when you

  sort of disappear into the mountains and

  meditate on the meaning of life of that

  I have accumulated 36 items on my little

  document of things I'd like to talk

  about next time we do hello internet and

  we can't possibly do them all so I've

  done bit of a color but I have to warn

  you I'm overflowing with things i want

  to talk about

  luckily a lot of them when i read back

  through the list now I think I don't

  care about that as much as I thought I

  did but some of them are still on my

  mind say we might spill this list over a

  few episodes like that works fine for me

  Brady i thoroughly welcome your 36 items

  of follow-up but probably the highlight

  of the last month or so while you've

  been off on planet gray has been that I

  went to a hello Internet vinyl listening

  body i am genuinely so envious of this I

  really Envy is that this is a thing that

  you did you didn't just go to a party

  tho Brady I think the key element here

  is that you crashed a hello Internet

  listening party I did I went an amount

  they didn't know I was coming and i'm a

  bit reluctant to say this because i

  think it will make them feel like

  disappointed by my attendance in some

  ways but I actually told you I was going

  to do it because I the one I went to was

  in London

  and I said gray I've seen on reddit that

  these people are getting together and

  they're meeting in this picture but

  after a final party i'm thinking of

  going do you want to come with me and

  you were totally up for you actually

  said I'd love to do it but unfortunately

  you couldn't because you had just gone

  away like the day before

  mhm so I don't want those teams here at

  the party do you think are we could have

  had great that would have been even

  better we got start with Brady

  second-rate Brady could have had a great

  great now and I so it was just me better

  it was very good fun and also though I

  have to say after what grace said in a

  previous episode about how I should

  never contact him asking him to send a

  video because it's something like he

  wouldn't be willing to do the way that

  directed to help me out no of course not

  no I would never do something like that

  great did send the video unannounced I

  was just sitting at the table with the

  team's chewing the fat having paints are

  having a chat and suddenly my phone

  pings and it was a video message from

  gray like to the team's was like I was

  great just sent you all the message

  who wants to see it and seriously a few

  people considered leaving the room

  because they didn't want to see your

  face like we're going on I don't know

  what to do

  those are the best kind of listeners as

  far as I'm concerned they were really

  serious about their face boilers in the

  end everyone stayed and watched your

  little message as well so the idea of

  crashing the hello Internet listening

  party it really appealed to me I really

  regretted that I couldn't be there and

  so I felt at least send a video right I

  can be there sort of remotely kind of in

  a little bit of a sad way and i was

  wondering if anybody was going to stand

  on the other side of the phone while the

  message was playing so they didn't have

  to actually get the face boiled I have

  to say to the people who attended the

  party just to be clear

  Brady like eighty percent of the value

  of getting us to the party because brady

  is the life of the party

  I am NOT the life of the party well

  whether that's true or not that's what

  they got so

  but so how was it from your perspective

  we haven't discussed it all like I'm

  dying to know how did the logistics of

  this go down well it was it some

  location in London and I knew their

  meeting in the basement of a pizza place

  but i had no idea how many people were

  gonna be there and I was thinking it

  would be two or three people

  mm I thought it might feel a bit strange

  flat just two people are sitting

  listening to a record and I turn up and

  they're like are high so I wanted to

  find out information without spoiling

  the fact i was thinking of going and

  after spending way too long on a train

  with flaky 3g reception trying to set up

  a fake reddit account which is much

  harder than you told me it would be no I

  don't know what you mean with your

  kingdom and thumbs but it takes two

  seconds to set up a sock puppet account

  on reddit to sac there i was having a

  few problems so I said after the captain

  contact the organizer and said is it

  still on

  I'm hoping that he would like contact me

  back and say yeah there's how many of

  the many people coming and he took ages

  to reply to them and then eventually he

  didn't he just said yes and I didn't

  want to like seem too nosy because that

  would give it away so i just had to like

  leave it at that okay well I'm going on

  I don't know who's gonna be there at

  like the idea that didn't want to raise

  suspicions that a brand-new reddit

  account might be yuge just has that

  information about crashing the party I

  don't think this would cross anybody's

  mind that wondering like hey this new

  guy do you think it's brady I was

  probably overthinking a little bit


  yeah based on our text message

  conversations about this you were

  definitely overthinking it and

  overcautious but it was delightful to

  meet ya

  so then I got to the pizza place and I

  said is there a group of people

  downstairs in our life

  yep then just as I was getting to the

  bottom of the stairs I bumped into

  someone who turned out to be the

  organizer and like I didn't really know

  what kind of reaction to expect it's not

  like you know Elvis has turned up or

  something it's just like some dude say I

  wasn't expecting like you know

  screams of joy or anything like that and

  he just kind of went Brady the best way

  I can describe is it was like I had said

  I might come but I wasn't sure

  the Hat turns out ahead that was how I

  would describe the reaction i tell you

  what it was really great and we had a

  brilliant brilliant night it was not

  really good fun everyone was really


  there was about 10 people there i think

  and we ordered pizzas and we had some

  beers and then put on side one and then

  put on side two and I tell you what the

  most interesting thing for me was

  because I never thinks about hello

  internet huh I never think of it as

  something that's funny

  mmm i totally understand like I just

  think it's you and me talking we joke

  around with each other because that's

  just what we do but like the thing that

  surprised me was how often people were

  laughing at the podcast like it was a

  funny show em and I got great pleasure

  from that because it's always a nice

  thing isn't it when people are laughing

  at things that are supposed to be

  entertaining and you know we never get

  feedback from an audience that we never

  know what people think and saying people

  smile and also seeing people like nor

  shake their head or are you know typical

  gray or saying people look at each other

  and not all the in jokes and stuff it

  was like a human beings do this into

  this I kind of forget that sometimes it

  was a really nice experience just to be

  observing people listening to the

  podcast and then afterwards we hung out

  and we spoke and it was a really great


  I totally agree with your description of

  this thing because when we're recording

  the show and when I'm editing the show I

  always very much think of it in the same

  way that it's you and me having a

  conversation and the listener is just a

  silent member of that conversation but

  yeah I don't really think of it as a

  thing that would be funny so it would be

  very strange to sit in a room full of

  people and here when that laughs like I

  think i would be surprised every time

  like every once in a while when my wife

  listen to the show and she laughed at

  something I'm always kind of surprise

  and I think what was the thing that was


  mm but I'm also realizing that I think

  you and I would have had a bit of a

  logistic disagreement had been able to

  attend that evening because i don't

  think i could actually have sat through

  listening to our own podcast in a room

  full of people also listening to the

  podcast i think i would have waited

  upstairs in the pizza place

  till the show is over and then go

  downstairs and talk to everybody because

  i think i would be too uncomfortable to

  be sitting in a room like hey

  everybody's listening to the thing that

  I've made i think i would have to wait

  somewhere else

  don't be like you go ahead Brady i'll

  come down later I mean I did offer to

  leave when they started listening I did

  say is this too weird for you guys to

  have me here should i just go upstairs

  for a bit and they're like no no I mean

  I can understand that concern and like

  it was in the back of my head too but it

  didn't feel like that at the time they

  had been looking and nodding and smiling

  and there was a bit when you would say

  something that would be typically great

  they would just look at me and go huh

  I feel for Brady and I smile back it was

  almost like you were you know having a

  little laugh behind your friends back

  right everyone in the room rolling their

  eyes at me perfect yeah yeah it was

  enjoying things as well but it wasn't

  too weird like that say I'm glad I did


  so there you go Tim's if you are

  arranging listening parties around the

  world you never know when one of us

  might show up well Brady it wouldn't be

  hello internet without plane crash

  corner I see that one of your 36 items

  here is plane crash corner

  well that's what the fans want is it

  always so uncertain with the corner that

  makes me the most uncomfortable the

  corner actually like most likely to be

  blindsided by something horrible that I

  don't know about have always strings

  doubt about whether or not the fans do

  like playing Crash corner but here we

  are our know anecdotally it's probably

  the favor of over conus of course yes

  all of the fans who love the corner

  contact you about it yeah so we have

  plane crash corner

  what is this i still think after all

  this time you don't fully grasp plane

  crash corner as well it's not like every

  horrible crash that happens I talk about

  who the thing I just wanted to note was

  that back in the early early days of

  hello internet we had the mh370 the

  Malaysian Airlines plane that has

  vanished and just flew out to say and no

  one ever knew what happened and they're

  all these searches for and back then I

  was just so confident that and find

  eventually they have always technology

  and they're looking for out in the

  Indian Ocean somewhere where they think

  it went


  and just as time went by I began to have

  my doubts and now they've called the

  search off the search is over and they

  have a founder and I just never thought

  that would happen a whole plane full of

  people never to be found which I find

  extraordinary I mean the oceans a big

  place right

  it must have disappeared in the ocean

  yeah but technologies moved on the

  Titanic went missing in deepwater who

  and for a long time it wasn't fair but

  then technology came along it was like

  yeah we can find it now and I know you

  knew roughly where the titanic sank

  because they rescue people in stone but

  i'm just amazed they can't find it and I

  know how big the indian ocean is I'm

  just amazed i couldn't find and there

  was talk this minister from the

  Malaysian government said they were

  going to offer a reward to private

  searches like if someone could find that

  they get a reward and that quite excited

  make cool yeah it's like treasure


  I know I even wonder if those two

  legends that went to South America and

  they're on their way up the mountain

  might say alright we're doing it but

  then a couple days later it was another

  story from someone more senior Malaysian

  government saying that guy probably was

  shooting his mouth off and they might

  not be a reward

  so I don't know if there's a reward or

  not if there was a reward would you be

  tempted to try and claim it seems like a

  brady project i don't think i have the

  technical capabilities i think taking a

  piece of paper with pie printed on and

  rolling out a runway as one thing

  yeah searching for a missing plane in

  the indian ocean that's another kettle

  of fish

  I don't know don't you want to progress

  in the difficulty of your projects

  you're a man who's been on Everest

  things like making a missing plane in

  the Indian Ocean

  how cool would that be and listen I

  think you also have quite an audience

  here i think if you really wanted to you

  could draw on the right people to help

  make this happen

  yeah just say i'm reading are you

  talking about Kickstarter or something

  patreon is ready guys that he's doing

  yet to say I don't know I'm just the

  ideas guy here right you're the executor

  right you make things happen you get

  vinyl record shipped across the world

  and I'm sure that you can find mh370 I

  think you could do it would make a great

  YouTube video they would make quite a

  video to get free berated very quickly

  that's the main reason i don't want to

  do it because I know just get free bird

  straight away anyway you know what

  fair enough you know what i was going to

  sort of clarify correctly when you refer

  to me as the man that's been on Everest

  but I quite like you saying that so I'm

  just gonna let that one slide

  wait a second you tell me that's not

  true well I wouldn't say I had been on

  Everest here's the thing i specifically

  phrase that not like you've climbed

  Everest because I don't think that's

  entirely true which have been on at base

  camp right that counts

  I don't know where you would technically

  say being on Everest start so I'm not

  sure base camp would count but I think

  you've got to get through the cumbias

  fall before you can say you're on

  Everest homebush mumu I think base camp

  that counts is how concerned eighty

  percent of the danger of getting to

  everest is getting on the plane that

  gets you there so if you're on the other

  end of that plane you make it to base

  camp that counters on Everest

  well like I say I could correct you on

  this stuff but you're just making me

  sound awesome so why would I will let

  that stand now grey we talk about not

  really thinking about who's listening to

  the podcast and one thing I often forget

  is that one person who uses the podcast

  is my sister for helping my Neffe go to

  sleep it's like his thing like he goes

  to bed and sometimes instead of a

  bedtime story he can have like 20

  minutes of Uncle Brady are that's the

  sweet sounds wait but she's just being

  lazy and she playing at hello internet

  so he listens to hello internet when I

  think that's why he said just float love

  i love the idea that not only are we

  putting grown adults to sleep with the

  podcast at the house that children being

  put to sleep well it sounds to me like

  maybe we're putting my sister to sleep

  but not my nephew because what happened

  in our pre christmas episode was when we

  started talking about elf on the shelf

  and I mentioned how it was this toy like

  my sister had sewn down wasn't listening

  and my little nephew who has an elf on

  the show flight was not so great he

  talking about

  and can I just say for the record and to

  my little nephew who been listening

  right now your elf on the shelf is

  definitely not a toy

  Nestle is a real elf and you be a good


  because Nestle's what

  and what uncle Brady said about toys was

  confusing and not right but Nestle is a

  real elf and you be a good boy and i

  look forward to seeing you again soon

  leave your uncle breaking up

  there's no reason to doubt uncle Brady

  exactly and if it also did get me

  thinking about the Easter Bunny and I

  just want to ask you a quick question

  gray ok shut your eyes

  ok what does the easter bunny look like

  a big in pink

  okay because that's what i wanted to

  find out is the Easter Bunny to you like

  a rabbit or is the Easter Bunny to you

  like a man in a rabbit so it's totally a

  man in a rabbit suit that's what the

  Easter Bunny is like to make the Easter

  Bunny is like a six-foot man and as

  ill-fitting so carrying a basket full of

  chocolate eggs

  yeah he might be white for me I don't

  know if he's pink he's definitely

  bipedal for a step that's true yeah let

  me send you a picture of the easter

  bunny i'm waiting I've still got that

  gorgeous picture of you looking at me

  with your present to us at all

  that's the Easter buying yeah you've got

  mean for everything everything

  look all I did was I went into google i

  typed in Easter Bunny and that's what

  came up

  that was the first of several terrifying

  Easter Bunny photos right here's another

  one you're googling scary easter bunny

  you're not googling just a taster body

  no I am NOT a typed in easter bunny this

  is what i found the Easter Bunny is a

  friendly man in a pink so not the ones

  that great has just been placed together

  i'm sending Brady nightmare versions of

  the Easter Bunny the kind of Easter

  Bunny that you would have in a horror

  movie but now in my head it's a smiling

  happy bunny that is human sized not

  smiling the bunny face can't smile it

  looks friendly it's like in a cartoon

  you know rabbits in a cartoon can smile

  it doesn't have to be accurately rabbit

  face it's like cartoony rapid face know

  the thing that I'm confused about here

  is there anybody who thinks that the

  Easter Bunny is that like a rabbit

  yeah i think there are some people who

  grow up with the Easter Bunny mythology

  being a a small rabbit on all fours but

  with magic powers obviously to deliver

  chocolate eggs

  not standing out person but is this

  version of the Easter Bunny mean is he

  laying the eggs like the cadbury bunny

  rabbit start leg but they don't deliver

  magic chocolate eggs either I'm just I

  don't understand I don't know how the

  all four small rabbit actually delivers

  the eggs if you grew up believing the

  easter bunny was an actual rabbit tell

  us and tell us how it negotiated the

  mechanics of delivering the eggs because

  we'd like to know because in my head the

  man-sized Easter Bunny has a magic

  basket from which you can draw an

  infinite number of eggs yeah like Santa

  Claus and his magic sack it's the same


  yeah but an actual magic Easter Bunny

  laying eggs for all the children on

  Easter this horrible era sounds like

  torment but like a man in a suit with a

  magic basket that has infinite eggs and

  you're cool with that yeah that's fine

  that's a okay great i just want to check

  i just wanted to that question for you

  then the Tooth Fairy human-sized very

  size small

  hmm like Audrey sighs no okay maybe

  smaller even site via i don't know i

  don't really have a good idea of the

  Tooth Fairy in my mind now I think the

  Tooth Fairy was less of a ever real

  fixture in my childhood and more of a

  transparent money delivery mechanism

  I mean I believed but i think the

  problem is you see less depictions of

  the tooth fairy

  mm I mean you see the most depictions of

  Santa and that's why we all agree on

  what he looks like

  Easter Bunny there does seem to be a bit

  of a range and that's why we can discuss

  it but you hardly ever see depictions of

  the tooth fairy

  because it's not like this you know

  Tooth Fairy cards and tooth fairy

  branding because we all lose their teeth

  at different times so we don't really

  know what the Tooth Fairy looks like

  it's a great unknown great unknown

  hmm maybe there'll be some fanart of two

  theories LOL out tooth fairy I'm sure

  there will be this episode of Hello

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  supporting the show so under the broad

  category follow-up I guess we should

  talk a little bit about styles i went

  and saw Road one for the second time did


  I did where did you see it for the

  second time I was with some friends and

  they wanted to go on CNN and I wanted to

  see a second time so because for people

  who don't remember you had seen it twice

  when we did our review your christmas

  day review and I had seen it once and

  we're not going to review again because

  we've done arivu and also we're not

  gonna do spoilers but i have all my

  notes for the scenes from the platform

  that light that we were gonna finish up

  now you don't want to and today but can

  I just say watching a second time and I

  hope it came across that i did like the

  film because i gave it like a partial

  thumbs-up who people remember whereas i

  would say you were quite negative about


  watching a second time my thumb has

  moved a little bit

  no and it has moved more towards twelve

  o'clock the upright position and if we

  were doing that episode again kid I

  would call you out on more things that

  you said and I think you were overly

  harsh I still agree with a lot of things

  he said but I think you were overly

  harsh and that film was even better than

  I said it was the first time around

  still not like you know an old-time

  amazing film but for people who said we

  gave a bit of a hard time I kind of a

  great i think we could have been a bit

  more positive about it that was my

  second viewing opinion when we walked


  okay so on the 180 degree scale that is

  your thumbs up and thumbs down what is

  the final resting place i would say 1048

  which is even more fine-tuned and stars

  like it's like pointlessly precise got

  four significant digits here to do like

  Star Wars 1040a and 38 seconds

  oh thank you that's crazy-making so

  anyway I just wanted to put that out


  I think that's very interesting very

  interesting you liked more the second

  time around the first time yet and

  things that you criticized for I think

  if it didn't do you would have

  criticized it for like it could

  win on some things like things that you

  said where things were getting too

  complex and it was unnecessary detail if

  that stuff had been left out would have

  been plot house i'll give one example if

  you want when they go to desert planet

  and they've got to go and find a shake

  of error he says I know a guy who can

  tell me where he is blue and you thought

  our God you know a guy who knows a guy

  dove you know we don't need to know a

  guy to know a guy but if he hadn't and

  they just landed on the planet and going

  to shake the various house we would have

  all been saying oh sure you're very this

  big hidden guy but anyone can just turn

  up on the planet and walk straight to

  his front door that's ridiculous that's

  completely implausible so like little

  things like that that seem like

  unnecessary complications i think you

  have got to drop a little bit of Indian

  otherwise we'd be complaining the other

  way and I had a lot of attention to that

  stuff and I didn't think it made things

  overly complicated because i want to

  just totally agree with you that the

  movie was in a no-win situation with

  that kind of stuff and yeah that if they

  hadn't added in a bunch of those details

  they would be potholes

  I think it's the same thing like with

  putting the labels for the places that

  they're going to in the movie

  yeah I as we discuss the time I think

  they had to leaving those out would have

  made things more complicated but i think

  my problem is a bit more fundamental

  that it's like the structure of the

  movie has put you in this no-win

  situation that's more how I feel about

  it is like the whole thing was slightly

  disorganized and kind of a mess but i'm

  very interested to hear that you liked

  it more the second time and I feel happy

  for you that you liked more the second

  time and I liked the first time as I

  said I thought it was a good film even

  not as good as some others and many

  criticisms that were made by both uni I

  standby but some of them i think i gave

  you be over an easy ride on me because

  I've seen it once and there's no point

  bickering over everything but I do feel

  like if we did that review again I'd

  probably going to be harder against

  interesting anyway we've done overview

  you know we've played their game we know

  those who can't replay the superbowl so

  the review stance but you want to talk

  about styles you've been mulling over

  style as well you've been in the

  mountains meditating the meaning of life

  well this is an interesting thing

  these two interesting things that i have

  noticed one of which is the name for the

  new Star Wars movie has been recently

  announced yes what is the name braiding

  it is the last Jedi what do you think of

  that name disappointing is my first

  impression like it's the first time I've

  been asked to comment on and because i

  don't have many Star Wars fans around me

  in my day-to-day movements

  it sounds like it should be the end of a

  trilogy hmm it doesn't sound like the

  middle it's okay it's not as bad as some

  others maybe it's not even disappointing

  it just is what it is

  it just sounds a bit final mhm and it

  seems weird to be using a name of such

  finality on this series of films that

  blatantly is now going to become endless

  for the rest of our lives until we die

  and beyond

  I think and beyond there is quite fair

  ok i am willing to bet that Disney will

  be making Star Wars movies long after

  you and I are dead just like to support

  you in any way that things are going to

  happen in star wars that you never know

  about well this is the reason I brought

  up as I saw some headlines about all the

  title for the next star wars movie has

  been released and the thing that I

  noticed was not any particular thoughts

  about the title but i noticed my own

  internal emotional barometer towards

  this news and I suddenly had a feeling

  of kind of like dread at the rest of my

  life they're always being news about the

  next star wars that this is just going

  to go on forever

  yeah and the feeling that I had was it's

  a bit like election cycles in the US

  where it feels like you get like this

  very brief break and then it's like

  we've got a hundred days and we're gonna

  start talking about the midterm

  elections right and you know you have a

  little bit of time never gonna start

  talking about the next general and I

  thought oh no is between christmas and

  mid-january the only time for the rest

  of our lives will be free of Star Wars

  news i think that might be the case but

  it's always going to be like mid to late

  January we're going to start hyping up

  the next movie

  try being a football fan in England man

  the offseason last 20 minutes

  oh yeah I play the last game of the

  season and you're like wow well that was

  a rollercoaster ride and then the new

  season like

  seems to be starting minutes like it's

  like crazy I guess this happens with

  everything it's just like the rumors

  about the next iphone start before the

  current one is even out you know that

  everything has these same cycles yeah

  but I just had this feeling of suddenly

  realizing this is going to occur forever

  with Star Wars so what do you think if

  the touch of the last Jedi then

  aside from that feeling you had yeah i

  just thought it was kind of a strange

  title i agree with you with something

  about it feels a little bit off but I

  also recognize that I am much less

  emotionally invested in the future of

  Star Wars and I feel relieved at that


  the other thing that I've just been

  thinking about which I have found

  interesting is when I guess two years

  ago now you and I did the first Star

  Wars Christmas special where we talked

  about the force awakens and we both

  liked it very much

  mhm i have been really aware that i

  liked that movie I saw a bunch of times

  in the theater and then later in the

  year i saw it was available for pre-sale

  and itunes I was like boom sold

  immediately like I never buy presale

  stuff I always hate that but I'm not

  buying it immediately right so I'll be

  able to watch it it's interesting i have

  no desire to watch again

  yeah ok but so this is what happened

  right it's like i pre-ordered it and I

  have never touched it and I only just

  realized this recently that it is never

  crossed my mind to even watch that film

  another time i feel like i have no draw

  to watch that movie again like I'm very

  interested to hear you say the same

  thing why do you think that is because

  you didn't imprint with like you

  imprinted with the Star Wars films as a


  mnu imprint with fewer films and out hmm

  so you liked it but you haven't liked

  bonded with a attending level I think

  this is again like the age-old question

  of our star wars movies great movies or

  did we imprint upon them as children

  they're both it is a bit of both but

  I've just been really aware of that

  sensation and I feel no no need to

  rewatch the force awakens and also being

  much more aware in retrospect

  that the force awakens is this

  phenomenon in Hollywood movie making

  called the soft reboot

  hmm i feel like i wasn't aware of this

  so much when watching the movie and i

  think i would be more painfully aware of

  of it on a rewatch that there are a

  whole bunch of movies that are not just

  being remade by Hollywood but are being

  done as these like kind of Kwazii

  sequels but that also start the whole

  story over again I can't totally agree

  with that about force awakens yeah I

  don't think it's a perfect soft reboot

  it feels like a soft soft reboot know

  it's like a shot in the arm for a glass

  of water in the face to the series like

  wake up wake up we've got to get our act


  what are you doing or it's like a big

  halftime talk about the coach saying

  you've just played terribly come on

  let's get out there and have a great

  second half but it's not a reboot

  because like the story is a continuation

  and like they're constantly referring to

  what happened before and it's got the

  same people in a same characters are in

  a you know Skywalker still and everyone

  knows what he did before the legend of


  I know what you're saying you're not

  being crazy but if you're going to call

  that a rainbow it's the softest of

  softest versions of it i think it is

  it's very soft soft reboot out because

  even though there are new characters

  they're all explained in New and Luke is

  just in the ob one role where all of the

  characters are the same thing again we

  have new Vader there's new young Luke we

  have new Han Solo it does feel very much

  like a soft reboot

  I just wonder if that will also not age

  the movie well going forward in the

  future but it's just a thing that I'm

  aware of and i found interesting that I

  was wrong that future me would really be

  interested in watching this movie again

  and it turns out that is not the case

  yeah I could've told you that I could

  have saved a few bucks there

  well when i go to pre-order road 1 i'll


  if you put Road one and force awakens in

  front of me right now and said you have

  to watch one of those 2i choose red one

  at the moment that's astounding to me I

  can't believe that and I've seen that

  more recently I've seen it twice since i

  saw force awakens road one was more

  grown-up road when was an adults movie

  and I'm a grown-up now

  oh I just don't think force awakens is

  probably better you know I think if you

  were like weighing and measuring

  everything and you had to do a big

  analysis I would still say force awakens

  is better than rogue one or rogue one

  felt more like my movie at my time of

  life and my interests and it's got a lot

  more weaknesses than force awakens but

  it just felt like it was talking on my

  level who a bit more hard as nails

  moving for a hard-as-nails man maybe

  that's it

  maybe that's it i don't know maybe five

  years when we can really put them

  side-by-side and by then there will be

  another five-star was maybe it's what we

  have here a breeze papercut you asked

  for it

  did I had it for it I'm not sure I quite

  as for it i have many paper cuts you

  know I always have many paper cuts and i

  have one it doesn't make me angry so I

  don't want the people who i'm about to

  criticize to feel like I'm angry at them

  but it does kind of get my goat little

  bit em so I did something a couple of

  weeks ago been playing around with my

  email list and one of the things i have

  decided to do is occasionally send like

  treats to people on my email list to

  like thank them for putting up with my


  haha you're sending them emails banking

  them to for putting up with your email

  ok got it right well now wasn't close it

  was a bit more subtle than that but

  feels like why I'm not subscribe to your

  email list

  yeah thank you go sign up to Brady's

  email list everybody

  yeah right yeah you've sold so well now

  so what I did was and I didn't just send

  an email just for this purpose it was

  just a PS on the end of a normal email

  little i said if you send me your

  address i put everyone who sends me

  their address in like a lottery and a

  hundred of them i sent postcards that

  personal postcards and our signs and I

  got nice stamps made for them it was all

  a bit of fun was like like

  look like a reward but randomly chosen

  who nice thing to do and I get all these

  addresses and then I used a random

  number generator to choose a hundred of

  them and these are the addresses for

  people who i was writing postcards to

  Lou and because people were sending

  their address to me an email and not

  using some kind of form or proform or

  commerce site they just had to write

  their address and how they choose to

  write a fair enough

  and this is when I realized something

  everybody in the world when they're

  writing their address to may imagine

  most of them now and probably in england

  right there address and include their

  country except Americans I reckon by

  ratio of 602 three Americans right there

  address and never put united states USA

  at the end of it I think they just

  assume it's a given that you're from

  America so when I was like pasting and

  making all these forms to send because

  it was mostly American so I was sending

  these things to always had to write

  united states USA and that sort of thing

  because Americans never write their

  country everyone else does no matter

  where you from our Sweden Italy all over

  the world Israel Australia even most of

  the UK people did and they know that i'm

  in the UK Americans never write their

  country and their address and i think

  it's like you know tonight maybe it's a

  little bit arrogant to do i say i think

  the two-letter state abbreviation is all

  you need

  yeah obviously that's what they think

  yeah you see mo and address and

  obviously you know where that is

  yeah you know where that's going America

  that's where it's going

  America and tell me where I you should

  know where i am and i began to frustrate

  me BR another American not putting their

  country on their address surprise price

  so many of these amero centric

  complaints there obviously just a side

  effect of for most Americans for

  ninety-nine percent of everything they

  ever do

  it's all economically within the borders

  of the united states like how many times

  is an American ever have to send a

  letter anywhere else in the world

  almost never mm like unless you're

  sending it to Santa Claus you know you

  don't have to

  send it out of the country and even then

  you know some Alaskans will try to tell

  you that you know you should be setting

  up to Alaska

  what do you mean the North poznan

  America I can't remember off the top of

  my head like the reasoning for why

  centers in Alaska it seems a bit dubious

  right but there's some reason why I mean

  you know I understand that that's a

  papercut of yours but i think this is

  what's going to happen when you have

  some gigantic economic bloc that

  supplies for itself all of the needs

  that had these people like a hello

  Internet listeners most of them i don't

  know maybe they're not maybe lots of

  them were subscribe for videos and don't

  know that I'm British

  well Australian in Britain they're all

  objectivity fan I don't know what's

  going on everything it should matter

  I think you should just put your country

  they're like unless you know for a fact

  that the persons in the same country as

  you the thing is i am thinking back to

  when I was a little boy in school and

  i'm pretty sure it never even came up

  about how to address international

  letters like I remember doing the how do

  you write a letter to somebody in

  Arkansas lesson but the there was never

  any reason to put United States on the

  bottom i'm pretty sure I never came

  across the notion of putting the country

  name underneath until I was in the UK

  but we live in the world of a bay now

  and we're pretty globalized out well

  obviously we're not obviously we're not

  that globalize because people don't do

  it I'm a little surprised but not that


  mm you should know where America is a

  couple of times i was thinking where is

  this slide is this in America it must be

  because it wasn't that would have

  written the country with the side of the

  United States so great

  there's a quiz show in the UK which i'm

  sure you've never watched called

  mastermind you have you heard of this

  I don't think zone where I think they're

  usually four contestants students and

  they each take a turn sitting in like

  the hots eight and under the spotlight

  and there are two rounds

  they're asked a series of questions on a

  specialist subject of their choosing

  oh and then they're asked a bunch of

  questions or general knowledge and you

  two scores are added together and

  whoever does the best wins and you'll

  see someone ok here's John Smith from

  somerset and his specialist

  subject is fighter planes of world war

  two and the quiz makers will have come

  up with a whole bunch of questions on

  this special subject and usually you

  you're just kind of flabbergasted and

  you might get one or two if you're lucky

  who and it's kind of weird that people

  can know so much about a subject and

  then that the quizmaster will say after

  so tell us why you're into world war two

  planes or whatever and I have a little

  chat and then I'll come back later and

  do their general knowledge section but

  it's always a really good fun thing to

  think to yourself when you're watching

  master mind if I was on mastermind what

  would my special subject bay what

  something I know a lot about and I'd be

  really happy to be quizzed about

  in-depth black at a deep level now I

  always thought that my special subject

  would be the Apollo moon landing


  oh yes of course and anyway

  amazingly a couple of years ago I was

  watching mastermind and some guy came on

  and he chose that sa special subject so

  this was like my moment to put myself to

  the test it was no longer hypothetical

  for me I could do it and see how good I


  and I'm not ashamed to say I did pretty

  well I think maybe I got one wrong out

  of like about 20-25 questions

  oh so I was like yet I know my stuff i

  know my stuff I felt pretty good so I

  always thought that would be my ultimate

  subject I was watching mastermind the

  other day and admittedly it was a

  celebrity version where the questions

  are a little bit easier when they do

  celebrity mastermind anyway this cricket

  player came on and he chose as his

  specialist subject the original three

  star wars movies

  hm and they asked him all these

  questions and i know i think that is my

  specialist mastermind subject because

  the first four words of the question

  would come out and i would give this

  really obscure answer and my wife who

  was sitting in the room at the time

  looked at me half impressed and in or

  and half ashamed of what nerd husband

  exactly have horrified that you know all

  of this stuff

  yeah we all know that feeling but I tell

  you what so I know if I was a mastermind

  they would be my two options because

  they seem to be two things I know quite

  a lot about not cricket cricket would be

  one of my guesses for you

  cricket maybe but cricket can be quite


  nobody the broader subject are the

  easier the questions funnily enough but

  how specific could you get could you be

  like my specialist subject is jeff john

  could you do well I think the more

  specialized you get the more they throw

  it incredibly hard questions at you

  that's my experience of watching

  hmm is that the more you zoom down the

  more obscure they get on you should be

  like my specialist subject is general


  well yeah but it did get me and I'm

  getting to my point here after it's not

  just an excuse to tell you how much I

  know about moon landings star wars are

  we sure they go well we can stop me

  everyone but the thing I wanted to know

  was if cgpgrey was on mastermind what

  would his specialist subject bay if you

  had to go on this quiz show and be

  quizzed in front of a national audience

  in-depth what's the subject you would

  choose one that you think when the

  researchers pulled their questions

  together you'd hold your own I gotta go

  with current events and pop-culture I

  would be my special subjects that sports

  ball between the 1980 and 2000 will

  crush that I would absolutely crushed

  that besides that have been this is


  I've got a theory i put 12 that I

  thought you'd say okay you guess first

  year and we'll talk about that

  my guess is that you're gonna choose

  lord of the rings that is not an

  unreasonable gasps yeah but I think it'd

  be pretty terrible at that ok for anyone

  who was really pulling out a lord of the

  rings quiz I don't go crazy hard but you

  have a lot of the ring is an unusually

  deep well to pull from wrap that has a

  large number of names and i am really

  bad with names

  yeah yeah especially those names are

  also similar to each other

  exactly yeah that's not a bad guess from

  your perspective but ok here's the thing

  i always think that it is important to

  understand and know yourself and one of

  the lessons that I learned about myself

  a long time ago is that i am not a

  specialist in anything I kind of want to

  be the person who knows a ton about the

  Apollo missions

  or I want to be the person who has a ton

  of Lord of the Rings knowledge but I

  have much more like a serial specialists

  like I will for a narrow period of time

  get incredibly interested in the thing

  and read up on everything that I can

  possibly read about it and then suddenly

  one day I will wake up and I will just

  have no more interest in that thing

  it's just that phase is over and so

  there's a ton of stuff that I have done

  this with but i really don't have a

  single topic over a long period of time

  that i can say oh you know I really love

  and know everything about X I kind of

  accept that as part of my personality is

  part of the reason why I turned down

  doing it like a PhD program a long time

  ago because the whole idea of having to

  focus on one specialist topic for a long

  period of time I just came to the

  realization and just face it straight on

  like I can't be that person there's no

  way i can actually do that so I

  genuinely don't think I have any

  meaningful specialist area that I could

  offer up on a game show like that

  well gray that's a fascinating insight

  into you as a person as always and I

  commend you for entering into the spirit

  of the question but obviously your

  answer is completely unacceptable to me

  and I want to choose a subject just for

  the sake of it with that huge

  qualification attached to it i would

  want to go on a TV show be tested on

  Apollo or Star Wars the nerves of the

  lights and the cameras i'm sure i'd

  check and make a complete fool of myself

  what if you had to do it like you had to

  do it to save your family's life like I

  appreciate that theoretical question I

  really do

  mm I'm trying to be strategic about this

  but I I get what you're saying about you

  not being someone who you know it's like

  I'm not a person who has hobbies i think

  i can ever maintain interest like that

  for any length of time there are very

  very few interests in anything that last

  a very long time with me

  yeah maybe voting systems but even then

  I feel like it'd be trivial to design

  specialist questions that i couldn't get


  something like that i mean the quiz

  buses aren't trying to embarrass you but

  you're right that might be a hard one

  because I probably feel quite limited in

  what I can ask it doesn't like this is

  why I like I'm trying to be somewhat

  strategic about this is not like lord of

  the rings where the well is infinite

  yeah with voting systems it's a much

  more bounded area

  yeah and i think i could probably do

  okay with something like that

  interesting but even that I feel

  incredibly tentative with that as you

  know an answer so well you name

  something so thank you for giving me one

  if you gotta let me slide with that one

  brain i'll let you slide with that

  because you relented

  thank you i appreciate about can I just

  say one other thing that infuriates me

  about that show mastermind the way the

  show works is you answer the questions

  in the time that i always think it's

  unfair because it seems to me like

  people get an uneven number of questions

  like someone seems to get more questions

  in their time slot than someone else but

  that makers of the show always say

  that's not needed what kind of banana

  republic show is that they don't have a

  set number of questions and time there

  are no but the other thing that drives

  me crazy is that the way it works is if

  there's a tie the way they break the tie

  is the person who passed on the least

  questions because if you don't know

  announcer you can just say pass and then

  at the end they told the answers to all

  the ones you got wrong who I don't know

  why anyone ever says pass because if you

  don't know the answer you should just

  have like a thing in the back of your

  head that I'm going to say John Smith

  blue so at least you'll have no passes

  people say in passing that show drives

  me crazy because there's no strategic


  I mean if you get one wrong the

  quizmaster then tells you the correct

  answer so that might take up one or two

  seconds of your time but you're not

  getting dark point it feels like you

  should just burn through as many

  questions as possible

  yeah that's just me getting something

  off my chest drives my wife crazy

  because I complained about every time i

  watch the show but I complain more about

  the uneven number of questions to be

  honest but it seems an incredibly unfair

  but also seems like the stakes can't

  possibly be high here if nobody's

  figured out the strategy when they're

  like who created the orcs and you go

  potato right and it just they are now

  sorry he's like keep moving keep moving

  right yeah is there no reward on the

  show is this just for funsies true that

  the reason to big prize it's not high

  stakes but anyway I take questions quite

  seriously sometimes I don't want to get

  too bogged down by all this

  you are very serious about the

  of games that is true that is true i am

  so serious we can essentially never play

  games we played games at Christmas way

  you know that didn't even count what we

  did was not even a game it was a

  conversation starter which is the only

  reason we were able to play we had a

  great not weed is fun we had a very good

  night over christmas but it seems like

  it's impossible to play settlers of

  catan with you you won't deal with it

  now probably not say if we were doing it

  for like a podcast I would because i

  have to pretend pretend to be a normal

  person is not totally losing his cool

  yeah something else just quickly there

  was new information to me and I feel

  silly for not knowing this I don't know

  if you know this but I'm often surprised

  by things in shops that have security

  tags on them to stop you shoplifting in

  particular underwear like when you shop

  for you wouldn't know this because you

  know shop for underwear in the shops but

  I'm already trying to spin up a

  theoretical scenario under which I'm

  shopping for clothing in a physical

  store expensive like you know like a

  thousand-pound leather jacket i can

  understand they're putting a security

  tag on so you can't just walk out of the

  shop but the thing I've always surprise

  is there is really really high security

  unlike underwear like boxes of Calvin

  Klein underwear or whatever like that

  you know the trendy brand is they're

  always so got security to the hilt like

  it's Fort Knox and I've got all these

  huge tags on them because they're

  obviously a very stolen item who maybe

  because people who shoplift want nice

  underwear and maybe because they're a

  good size to steal at night but it

  always baffles me a little bit but I've

  learned to accept it over the last 10 to

  15 years that it's a thing what I didn't

  realize was the other day because I

  don't eat steak very much i know

  everyone loves steak and thinks it's

  like the best thing in the world to a

  true but I think it's really overrated

  really the other day I decided to buy a

  stake in my local supermarket and I

  wanted to get a posh one because I'm

  plushies cushions so I want to get like

  you know that tasty choice special

  deluxe version of course it wasn't like

  a posh one from a butcher was still like

  a prepackaged when it was sealed in

  packaging and costs like 10 pounds or

  something about that and I had security

  tags all over at the checkout they had

  to take the security tags off and


  so that shoplifters couldn't leave with

  a case of steak instead of plastic this

  was new information to me i said to the

  woman is this like new

  why is this security on a piece of steak

  and she's like or I think they just get

  stolen a lot people steal them

  we had a whole conversation about I

  brought the underwear without food and

  she was like saying she thinks take is

  an easy thing to resell like you could

  go down to the pub and sell out that not

  so it's got a good resale value like a

  steak grain market out there

  yeah I don't understand how this could

  possibly be did you know this i mean do

  you ever bought steak do you have a shop

  for food i should be shot food shop for

  food now of course of her i'm not going

  to a supermarket and shopping for food

  now I haven't done that in years

  I can possibly avoid it right every once

  in awhile i will get sent on errands

  like a semi autonomous drone to just

  pick up items that have been

  photographed so i can visually identify

  them without having to think about it

  very much and bring them back

  I've never roaming up and down as

  supermarkets with the supermarket car

  looking at things wondering why the

  security tags on the steak

  this is not an activity that I would

  ever participate if I can possibly avoid


  yeah i'm gonna have the uber guy bring

  me some food or I'm going to have food

  delivered to my door I'm not going to go

  to the supermarket and deal with

  security on the steak sounds like a real


  it's the first time I've ever bought

  photos had security on it was new to me

  obviously moved up in the world are you

  sure that steak was done dollars are you

  sure you weren't buying much more

  expensive steak

  yeah i didnae Donna wasteful braiding

  now I gave it to someone else to eat

  because I knew I wasn't gonna eat it did

  you resell it

  it took it down the pub made a tidy

  profit is like but here's the thing

  Brady I feel like I have to actually ask

  if you did resell it because I could

  totally see that happening

  I can I shelling is really you can come

  someone who would want resale stuff i

  don't understand why you do anything

  sometimes I've gotta draw here full of

  every iphone I've never ironed most

  people and I sell their iphones when

  they get rid of them

  I never sell stuff soon be filled with

  pixels that you on well now it was a bit

  plasticky to be honest I wasn't very

  impressed by the feel of it

  m.phil shape i was disappointed I was up

  for a tow but it felt cheap

  starting at brady I'm sorry to hear the

  security on your steak but i'm going to

  guess that as security technology gets

  cheaper going to be security and more

  food supermarket seems going to be

  security on ten-dollar bananas this

  episode of Hello internet has been

  brought to you in part by Harry's now

  we've been talking about these guys for

  a while but today I've got a really

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  am one and I've said this before and

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  attitude to design and marketing this is

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  Jeff and Andy who were somewhat

  disillusioned by the shaving industry in

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  in particular that I think they would

  suggest has been a little bit

  well naughty in its treatment of us the

  shaving public so Harry's was born in

  these guys took it so seriously they

  even bought a shaving blade factory in

  Germany I believe that serious business

  that would be like gray and I buying a

  record producing factory when we made

  our vinyl edition we didn't do that by

  the way but that's kind of the analogy

  i'm using here but back to shaving x

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  that's a lot of stuff for free it's well

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  to the site because I've got

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  Harry's dot-com and the offer code

  eh I and half thanks to them for

  supporting the show you know how I said

  there were 36 things on my list

  don't trust to talk about a lot of them

  were about sport

  no I had a lot sport on my mind lately

  and I'm just got no one to talk sport

  with you know what Brady that is correct

  you do have no one to talk to for what

  it really clear and put that card on the

  table right now which is that you really

  don't have anyone to dog sport where I'm

  calling it now grey it's an officially

  official sports bowl corner it's new

  it's a new kona I never feel more like

  you're tolerant wife then when you're

  talking to me about sports

  I always feel like i am being the best

  of friends that I possibly can be

  I don't know if this can be a regular

  thing I don't know if I can handle this

  do you know the being a nice friend and

  tolerance is all undone the minute you

  say you're doing it i know but i feel

  like i have sunk so many hours in my

  life into listening to you talk about


  I'll tell you what there are 4 items

  here are now let me just deal with two

  of them those bottom two can wait for

  another day because I bottom two are

  going to take me awhile but let me deal

  with those two top ones cause they'll be

  a bit quicker and they're also a little

  bit more up your alley and you don't

  actually have to understand either of

  these sports to appreciate the point i'm

  wanting to race is so bad at estimating

  what I'm interested in with this points

  no no I don't think you'll be interested

  as such but at least you don't have to

  talk about like the rules of a game or

  how the spores played with the rules of

  the game where the most interesting

  thing you just literally you're going to

  talk about people which I couldn't care

  about less but the abstract rules of how

  the game works that's the only thing I'm

  interested in

  I've been listening Moneyball all day

  and every time they talk about the

  people in the sport of like I who cares

  i can't keep track of any of these

  people so they get back to the

  statistics like now I'm interested

  great do you know who and Demaryius now

  alright and mary is a Scottish

  tennis player and he has recently just

  become the number one tennis player in

  the world

  ok he's one of the last two olympics

  he's 12 Wimbledon titles and after many

  many many years of a lack of British

  success he has finally become a great

  British tennis player

  ok this is cause much happiness in the

  UK it's funny he was always considered

  very Scottish until he started winning

  lots of stuff and then everyone in

  England started referring to him more

  often as British mhm the kind of got

  adopted as a lot more British once he

  was a champion

  anyway that's by-the-by very good tennis

  player and he's at the height of his

  game he's the world number one at the

  moment right in the New Year's Honours




  he was knighted i actually have issues

  with people being knighted during their

  sports korea i think this should happen

  afterwards but because the government

  likes to use knighthoods as an excuse to

  increase their popularity they have

  knighted this guy while he's still

  playing Lou alright i have no control

  over that I don't I obviously i don't

  think they should be doing it now but

  I've done the two problems I have with

  it is one I think it sounds silly

  calling someone so Andy married when his

  name is Andrew but he still called sir

  Andy Mary Lou and the other thing that

  really annoys me is because of weird

  protocol or whatever reasons all of the

  media outlets in the UK especially the

  baby say now feel like they have to call

  him so Andy marry at every reference so

  you'll be listening to like the sports

  update on the radio or the TV to find

  out the latest results and they'll be

  saying oh and so Andy Mary bait jeff

  smith in a game of tennis sir Andy mary

  has pulled his hamstring sir Andy Mary

  will be playing in the US open tomorrow

  and I think it sounds silly when you're

  just running through sports results in a

  guy who was just called Mary or Andy

  marry a week ago is now being called sir

  Andy Mary and every reference

  I mean isn't that the whole point of the

  name is that everybody has to do this

  little acknowledgement thing

  no I don't think that's the point of it

  and a lot of people don't like it he has

  said like in a column just you know to

  call me Andy he doesn't want to be like

  Sandy Mary all the time

  mmm i mean i know lots of people who

  were knighted who mr. fancy-pants pretty

  awful Brady's friends ignited some of my

  best friends are nights anyway I mean

  like a i'm not quite sure what you're

  saying here but if the dude has written

  some article saying just call him Andy

  then I think that's that supersedes

  things like if someone wants to be

  called Andy instead of Andrew it's like

  you go along with that and if he's been

  knighted and he says in when you doing

  sports rundowns you don't have to call

  me sir

  Thank great ok now we're done with this

  we don't have to actually call him Sir

  I think they should just drop it then if

  he's ok with dropping it

  yeah what could be the possible

  objection well it's pop there's probably

  some protocol written in like some beast

  I'll guide where anyone who was knighted

  has to be referred to as Sarah in the

  first reference and they're unwilling to

  let it go something my question it

  doesn't sound like a problem with Andy

  doesn't sound like a problem with the

  knighthood system sounds like it's a

  problem with the BBC mara I wasn't a

  portion blame I was just saying that no

  it's me then I think the BBC needs to

  change that style guy that we are

  referring to a surprising amount of time

  it's all right now let me give you my

  other conundrum which I want you to

  solve for me saying yourself to andy

  Mary problem

  ok you have a conundrum that you want me

  to solve this is the Wayne Rooney

  problem you know Wayne Rooney is now I

  don't know when Ramires he's a football

  he's a soccer player for Manchester

  United ok for many many years the record

  number of goals scored by a Manchester

  United player was by a guy called Bobby

  Charlton who you won't have heard of

  butts big deal in England is called 249

  girls live in manchester united and

  Wayne Rooney has been closing in on this

  record and what happened was about two

  weeks ago he finally scored the goal to

  equal the record and we had all the was

  loud as a hero is on all over the

  newspapers and their specials on TV and

  it was isn't it brilliant is equal this

  record at last and then I feel like

  we're kind of painted into a corner

  because is a bigger deal to equal the

  record or break the record because two

  weeks later he scored another go and he

  became the highest score out on his own

  on 250 then he was in all the newspapers

  and we had all these TV specials and we

  had all these tributes again and he was

  lauded as it's great here I folk

  breaking the record when records were

  broken when should we be celebrating

  when the record is equaled or when the

  record was surpassed well obviously it's

  when the record is surpassed equaling

  the record who cares because the person

  who did it first

  that's way more impressive right right

  yeah like doing something first and most

  very impressive doing the same thing

  somebody else did before you the same

  amount not impressive at all so it's

  obviously after but again I think this

  is actually the BBC's problem again

  because if they want to just talk about

  a thing twice

  because they have to fill the airwaves

  with stuff to talk about so you how can

  we turn one news story into two we can

  talk about it twice that's how it made

  them look silly and became a little bit

  of water on Mars because it was like

  didn't we celebrate this two weeks ago

  wasn't he the great hero two weeks ago

  why is this happening again so my

  version of this that come across every

  once awhile in the non sports world

  which i always find confusing is news

  stories that talk about it

  the contents of a speech that have not

  happened yet

  yeah something about those things always

  feel like they fell out of a parallel

  universe like yeah

  in a speech that will happen later today

  the Prime Minister will lay out a policy

  that has these three points like wait

  what always happens with budgets as well

  in the budget to be released tomorrow

  there will be tax cuts yeah and the

  other time always happens on christmas

  day when we were told what the queen or

  the archbishop is going to say in their

  message to the world of peace later

  today the Queen would deliver addressing

  aging all Britons to hold hands and like

  whoa hang on I haven't said it yet

  yeah I find that so strange i remember

  years ago there was an example of a

  newsreader in America literally reading

  a speech that the president was going to

  give before the speech was given


  it feels so wrong I feel like if I was

  president now I'm not giving you a copy

  of my speech out of time you'll hear it

  when I give it I'm with you there

  I'm with you there I mean I guess the

  reason they probably do is because this

  is something that everybody really

  totally hate that went a little

  opportunity to be able to change the

  last second which is kind of what I

  presume is the reason that they do it

  out it's about hitting the peak news

  cycles and stuff isn't you think that's

  what it and it's about the same thing

  that happened with the window you go

  it's about having two parts of the

  cherry you get a new cycle the day

  before and a new cycle when they've got

  the footage of you actually saying it

  when you get twice the coverage i guess

  in my mind I was always thinking of it

  like when you put a video up on patron

  just for the patron so they could see a

  little give you a chance that you really

  have something up like it's not really

  probably take a temperature

  yeah exactly like how should I didn't

  realize that mistake with their let me

  fix this or like when cgpgrey releases a

  script a few days before a video asking

  for people to check his grandma the

  grammar nazi sneak peek that's exactly

  right like oh hey look at all these

  words in my video I hope they're all

  spelled right

  there no that's what I always thought it

  was but i think you're right yeah it's

  the exact same thing they want to be

  talked about twice but going back to

  wayne rooney you would have bit of a

  conundrum because the day he scores go

  249 and he's equal this famous record

  you can't say nothing about it because

  it's a bit of an elephant in the room

  sure you can of course you can see

  nothing about it why do you have to say

  something about it like a your i just i

  live in a world of sports hype wheres

  the idea of saying nothing is completely

  foreign to me you're quite right that

  sorry Wayne Rooney I don't really care

  about your score until it's bigger and

  the story good

  you saw it around for me that's how i'd

  rather sports news network

  that's all for sports bar corner until

  next time we do with a few media subject

  sauna gonna look forward to it Brady i

  look forward to it

  okay Brady many months ago now i think

  you got me a little present I take me

  present present that i have with me

  right now

  listeners can hear that there's a fully

  work for you hello hear the dead trees

  here the dead trays is fully work if I'm

  using the actual thing I don't know

  whatever i'm flipping the pages of a


  this is what you got me a book called

  some for details from the after lives by

  David equal in and I think it's actually

  came up when we were doing the vote

  counting you mention this book as an

  interesting book to read it's made up of

  very large number of very short stories

  about what might happen to you in the

  afterlife like I need two or three pages

  h1 yeah they're very very short and you

  sold it to me on like oh I might be

  interested in this book as a nice little

  book that you could put by your bedside

  just read a couple of pages and I

  accepted graciously and it sat next to

  my bed for months

  untouched by human hands can I just

  clarify before you tell me what you did

  next was he

  well you still got us so you haven't

  burned it's not like a religious book

  it's not about what really happens in

  the afterlife just in case people think

  it's about yeah it's like a fictional

  book writer some fun speculations it's

  not thought experiments it's just things

  to get you think

  thing about life more than death

  actually but yeah it's not like you know

  this is what will happen in heaven or

  stuff it's not touch financial people

  it's fiction right that's yeah that's

  excellent clarification and I was

  interested in the book because you gave

  me an interesting description of it you

  told me something that the basic

  premises and so I i accepted the gift

  graciously and then I proceeded not to

  touch it forever and sort of half forgot

  about it even though it was literally

  the only thing on the dress that was

  mine it was more of a problem

  yeah exactly well one of the reasons i

  gave it to you besides thinking that you

  would like the contents and I wanted to

  talk to you about the contents of the

  book I mean I know you don't like paper

  books and but i actually thought you

  would want this book as an object it's

  actually quite an attractive book it's

  small and thin as sort of black and I

  thought if there was ever a book you're

  going to like the look of and accept

  into your object lighthouse it might be

  this book i love that this is something

  that crosses your mind you're looking at

  work and trying to think

  will this be accepted into the great

  household it's quite modest you know

  it's not gaudy or colorful and not big

  and fat it looks cool it looks like

  something you would carry around with

  you and I mean it looks like a kindle

  and actually is not much bigger than a

  kindle itself yes that is correct

  yeah but so went untouched for a long

  time and then finally last night for

  some reason I felt motivated to give it

  a shot and I've read through perhaps the

  first twenty-five percent maybe a third

  of this book and I have some pop trading

  account white okay first of all we have

  to talk about the physical paper nests

  of this book

  mhm because I've got my copy here too by

  the way okay go

  there's someplace out there we go very

  nice I was trying to think it has been

  maybe five years since i have read a

  physical book made of paper

  hmm it might possibly be longer than

  that but I'm pretty confident that it

  has been five years and i have to say

  when I decided like oh let me pick this

  up let me give this a try

  I was kinda thinking like this is gonna

  be a charming experience to read a book

  you know it's like going to ye olde


  town and you're like a lookout charming

  this yes but I have to say I find the

  experience of reading a paper book after

  years of reading digital books extremely

  subpar I did not like it at all

  I didn't find it charming in the least I

  didn't like the physicalness of the book

  and i found it super annoying this

  little book like we're trying to open up

  the pages and if the pages are all bent

  and so now like I have to try to break

  the spine of this book to make it all

  nice and even to look at like I'm

  breaking the physical spine of this

  thing but even when i do that the pages

  are still bent so the words are all

  getting wrapped around as dumb as it

  sounds like that the lighting is all

  uneven on the page

  I can't just put it down on the table

  and read it i have to have a hand on it

  all the time keeping the thing open

  I don't like paper books I don't like

  them at all i don't think it's charming

  I know people always like oh it's nice

  to read a paper book if you can but I'm

  coming down very hard on digital books

  are way better

  it's so funny you should say that and I

  know this is almost playing too cliche

  here but I've actually been really

  disappointed lately with the low number

  of books have been consuming moon for

  the last sort of your talking I mean

  I've done a few audio books that I've

  enjoyed it but i haven't been using my

  kindle and it was beginning to irk me

  and we're at the shops a few days ago

  and my wife was feeling the same way she

  reads a lot more than me but she was

  like I'm not some books and we went into

  a bookstore and like filled our boots

  with paper books because we felt like

  that was the thing to do and i bought

  three or four books and came out with

  them and i've been reading one of them

  for the last three or four days and I

  feel like I've been reborn and it's like

  wonderful and I'm like deliberately

  carving out time to read another thing i

  know i'm gonna run a bath and read a

  book in the bath for the next hour

  because I'm enjoy and like I'm obsessed

  with the book and i'm reading at every

  opportunity and it's the paper that's

  really engaged me that's having as

  opposing a logical to engage me and I

  know it's we have a laugh because we're

  different stuff but I've had the exact

  opposite experience I've got back into

  paper books for the first time in ages

  and i'm absolutely loving it

  I totally understand that like I

  completely understand that feeling i do

  keep a book list of the books that i

  read and i don't think that audio books

  count as reading a book in the same way

  and i am really aware of the number of

  books that i have sat down and

  physically read as opposed to listen to

  is smaller than i would like it over the

  past years and this is something I've

  been working on since the summer to try

  to increase the number of books that i

  read there's a few things I've been

  doing towards that i can say like paper

  is not the answer but what I think paper

  does do is it it's the isolation of the

  thing you have a physical book this is

  the only thing in your hand it's not

  going to be batchu it's not going to

  distract me with something else

  it's not even that you're sitting there

  and you have the option of doing

  something else is that isolation and so

  I do think it is quite reasonable to get

  paper books if you want to try to read

  more books

  I'm glad that's working for you but I

  have to say I felt totally repulsed by

  the physicalness it's a guy that aside

  the information did communicate to your


  nonetheless sister i was able to read it

  that is entirely true but if you thought

  of what you've read

  ok so you sold me on this book with two

  interesting stories that i do want to

  talk about but for the most part reading

  through this book i feel like i need to

  be high while I'm reading this book i

  think just sitting down and reading this

  book each of these 12 page little

  stories I wrote down my summary of the

  first seven or so that i read em and

  each of them here the summaries it's

  whoa dude what if we're like bacteria

  living on a giant creature that doesn't

  know we exist

  whoa dude what if we're just background

  characters in somebody else's dream

  yeah well dude what if Heaven is really

  boring slow dude what if our creators a

  really dumb i can you sold me on some

  great ideas but man I have never read

  anything that I feel like I need to be

  high and a sophomore in college

  and I will love this book if you're

  listening to my voice right now you are

  a sophomore in college and you are high

  you should get this book like body and

  immediately you will love it i mean that

  in a genuine way like I think the book

  can be fun but most of these little

  stories i found uninteresting anything

  sounds stupid by the way when you say

  word in front of like what was rode one

  like won't do what if an asteroid the

  death star was stolen by like a girl

  who's the daughter of the guy who

  designed the Death Star

  whoa like I can make anything that

  sounds stupid by talking like a stoner

  so I had no no yeah I totally understand

  right but I am conveying with the world


  the tone that it felt like some of these

  stories were written they're all

  supposed to blow your mind a little bit

  because the idea is H story makes you

  look at things in a different way and

  some of them i can't remember them it's

  a long way since i read but most of them

  I was like are you want to tell someone

  about that idea the book reminds me of

  like true when you're younger and you

  sit around thinking imagine this is an

  idea and you don't have to let me assure

  the idea much further and that's what

  this book is it's like imagine if the

  afterlife was like this but the thing

  about them is a lot of them make me look

  at my life differently you know it's not

  like life-changing or like getting

  things done or something like that yeah

  yeah I never thought about things that

  way and I don't know it didn't change my

  life I'd forgotten most of the stories

  but reading a couple of them again today

  I had the same feeling it excited me and

  it's very easy to get through because

  it's so sure it's like digestible it's

  like intellectual bubblegum I would say

  I think they're a little bit too short

  yeah because i do think that they can't

  quite follow entirely through on some of

  their interesting premises and that's

  what is it's a book of interesting


  yeah that is totally fair that's totally

  fair but that's so I'm like a third of

  the way through the book

  yep it's such a fast read because it

  only took me about a half an hour to get

  a third of the way through

  yeah it's not even like oh this one is

  an interesting i don't like it you know

  you're not like investing a whole bunch

  of time

  yeah of the ones i did read i did think

  that they were two that were interesting

  the first one which i think does

  hit that bullet point of making you

  think about your own life a little bit


  the first one is is actually the very

  first one in the book which is called

  some is the one that gave the book its

  name as well hear ya

  and the premise of this one is that in

  the afterlife you live your whole life

  again but you are living all of the

  similar experiences in order so you

  spend 18 months waiting in line right

  two years staring out of bus window he

  spends a third of your life just asleep

  all at once all the pain as well all

  your pain is concentrating too like

  eight or nine hours of just incredible

  pain and breaking your arm and all that

  stuff but then after that there's no

  pain at all like everything is just

  concentrated together

  yeah but the personal one that I like

  the best I think related most hello

  Internet is three days calculating

  restaurant tips which would be a

  particular kind of help i like that as a

  premise because you see these lists of

  how much time do you spend in your life

  doing various activities but i think it

  hits home under this framing of what if

  you had to live your whole life again

  but you're living all of these moments

  all these similar moments together that

  makes it a much more visceral and

  interesting thing to think about what is

  your like look like you spent two days

  tying your shoelaces three days

  calculating restaurant tips that you

  said 51 days deciding what to wear

  nine days pretending you know what is

  being talked about two weeks counting

  money things like that

  yeah i like that i think it's an

  interesting way and like it just makes

  you think for a moment a little bit

  differently about how you are living

  your life it's interesting though

  because the end of the story

  I think sort of delicate on your page

  and a half long but then at the end it's

  sort of said something along the lines

  of this experience makes you really

  appreciate how your lives are broken up

  into pieces and shuffled around you

  don't have to do all these things

  together and the variety and the change

  but that's not what I took from the

  story I didn't take from the story and

  appreciation for that i took from a gosh

  you know am i spending that much time

  doing things that I shouldn't be doing

  if i'm spending eight days staring into

  a refrigerator like

  I need to spend less time staring into

  refrigerators and that's known as a time

  but I'd hate to have to spend all the

  time I spend faffing around with

  designing websites or doing some

  animation and that was all concentrated

  into like you know two-and-a-half years

  of sitting there and animating text on

  videos I'd be like you know how can i

  really be spending that much of my life

  like when I come to the end of my going

  to be glad I spent nine years animated

  videos and I know it sounds like

  throwing your whole life into the

  outbreak well that's what this book does

  like to them like that and then you read

  the next one you forget the one that

  came before but like after story i put

  the book down and go whoa dude I got

  into my wife is something that's like

  our man imagine this like and it's like

  I'm gonna read another one

  I think it's really good i really like

  it what's the others was the one you

  liked well yeah I mean just to be clear

  I'm going to finish the book i'm going

  to keep reading through it because it's

  so short now and they're also easy like

  for me personally the hit rate was quite

  low of the ones that i was reading on

  which ones do I like in which ones do I

  not like I remember what my hit right

  was like I thought it was better than

  fifty percent for me what you think

  making a short huge event yeah it's like

  out if there's an interesting idea

  there's a thing that I think about for a

  while and if it's one that I find an

  interesting i can just move right on

  past it

  yeah but the one that I like the best so

  far is one called metamorphosis and I

  think this is a really interesting idea

  the premise of this afterlife is that

  when people die they don't immediately

  go to the real afterlife they have to

  sit around in a lobby waiting and what

  they're waiting for is for the last

  person on earth who remembers them to

  also died

  yeah and when they are no longer

  remembered on earth they are allowed to

  leave this Lobby and move on to the next

  unspecified phase of what the afterlife

  is and this is a perfect example like I

  find that a really interesting premise

  because it brings up this notion of how

  interesting it is that some people are

  remembered such an incredibly long time

  and you can imagine that there are

  people who are remembered now who may

  well be remembered for as long as the

  human species exists in any form and

  then on the flip side there are of

  course people who are forgotten

  essentially as soon as they're dead

  right people who are known by almost

  nobody in the water yeah and I like this

  premise sort of reverses that like that

  the humans who are of great a claymore

  are noteworthy on earth have to spend

  this interminable amount of time in

  purgatory begging cryin waitin to never


  whereas the nobodies get to just pass

  right on through the lobby and move on

  to the next phase immediately just to

  clarify that further though it's not

  just like sort of remembered by people

  who knew you could just be spoken of in

  this short story for example there's

  like some nobody out farmer who was

  unlucky to drown in a river which then

  became like a famous place and like 20

  guys go there all the time until the

  story of the farmer that drowned in the

  river right even though he died hundreds

  and hundreds of years ago and he was

  quite an obscure farmer he's forever

  stuck in his portrayed right because his

  stories being told forever and ever and

  it's always been changed as well in many

  ways the story doesn't represent who is

  or what he was but because of it

  he's still stuck in this this terrible


  yeah there's a line thats related to

  that which I really quite likes where

  it's like and that's the curse of this

  Lobby we live in the heads of those who

  remember us and we lose control of our

  lives and become who they think we are

  yeah it's a great little lime even just

  in a very small way being a person on

  the internet who says things that you

  just become so aware of how like the

  version of you that is in other people's

  heads has almost nothing to do with the

  real you

  oh yeah it's very funny to see people

  like arguing about like what you think

  and writing things like I don't agree

  with that at all right features laying

  it out there like this is a thing that I

  agree with I think it's also just an

  interesting thing to think about the

  people throughout history

  obviously they just become

  ideas that are totally unrelated to the

  actual person yeah when you think about

  Abraham Lincoln the idea of what you

  think Lincoln is in your head

  probably the real Abraham Lincoln would

  find almost entirely unrelated to his

  experience of his actual life

  yeah and the book talks about this

  purgatory waiting room place having like

  Saints and people in their revered and

  the saints are there who actually really

  complicated people already complicated

  lives and they're just being remembered

  in a different way we're making it sound

  like an epic story again it was only

  like a page it wasn't that

  yeah it's literally but the thing that I

  found really bittersweet and interesting

  about as well was the idea that in many

  cases the moment you're summoned away

  and taken away is when some family

  member dies back on earth and they

  arrived in like this waiting room as you

  leave so you never get to see them

  because that's the tragedy that you

  don't get to spend time with them

  because the minute they die

  that's the last person he remembers you

  you're off through the door and they

  walk in the other door a few seconds

  later and people there observing that

  sort of remark on the tragedy of that

  are you didn't get to see his grandson

  because the grandson was the last person

  he remembered him say so of course the

  question that this bag Brady how long do

  you think we would have to spend in that


  hmm how long do you think the hello

  Internet podcast will be remembered in

  human history

  I mean I don't think very long and the

  same with the YouTube videos I mean

  there's just so much content in the

  world now that I think everything's just

  going to get buried the danger is that

  some researcher in 300 years is going

  through some archive of something and

  stumbles over your name which is around

  the place if any internetting survives

  and they might go

  cgpgrey why someone on this website

  talking about someone called cgpgrey

  almost look who he is and if that's

  hundreds of years ahead for some reason

  that sticks you in the waiting room for

  a pretty unlucky reason say I guess

  because we're a bit splattered around

  the place online there is a risk that we

  could come up in a few hundred years on

  some random search but i don't think

  we're going to be like particularly

  remembered or talked about so it depends

  on that that would be a problem

  guess we'll find out we're hanging out

  in that Lobby yeah yeah just to

  emphasize again this book is not

  suggesting this is what the afterlife is

  like it's just a whole bunch of thoughts

  like you know interesting made-up


  yeah there's just a bunch of thought

  experiment so the conversation starters

  and have a look

  just two of them and we could we could

  talk about this for hours i love it

  this is as far as I have gotten but i

  just want to thank you on the podcast

  for giving me this gifts of a physically

  inconvenient book but i will meander my

  way through the rest of it eventually

  and may perhaps we'll talk about some of

  them in the future

  alright well we spoiled two of them but

  I don't really think this is a spoiler

  type book so it doesn't really matter

  yeah I would categorize this as not

  spoilers and just ideas yeah

  the idea is the whole exactly and this

  and telling a few of these stories is

  actually how you sell the book two

  people yeah you told me about the lobby

  one and that was like okay I give me a

  copy of this and I was just as happy to

  read the lobby one when i actually got

  to it the premises in the first sentence

  of all of them but ya told me to tell

  you the one that was so to me by a

  friend of both of ours actually called

  Jake and he sounded to me with a

  different story

  he sold it to me with one I don't know

  if you've got to this one yet that

  basically there are these like

  beings i'm going to make up these

  numbers because I can read the story so

  longer there's like these two thousand

  mile tall beings and their job over

  thousands and thousands of years which

  is incredibly important high-stakes job

  is to hold the fabric of the universe

  together like this is really

  labor-intensive mentally intensive job

  keeping the universe help together in

  the depths of space or you know some

  crap like that but they get a holiday

  they get a vacation from every you know

  500 years of thousand years and that

  holiday is to spend 80 years on earth as

  a human

  so what we are is just the vacation of

  these beings that have this incredible

  job and we think like our lives are

  really important and we stress about all

  these things but for them just coming

  and having a little concerns and of our

  life and worrying about taxes and their

  jobs and going to the beach and having

  families is like the ultimate luxury to

  them it's like this flippin little fun

  holiday they get to go on before they

  have to go back to this serious job of

  holding the universe together so we're

  just we're just vacationing mega aliens

  i love it i love her have a bit of a

  visceral reaction to that one because i

  have known people who believe something

  sort of similar to their okay yeah i

  mean a silly and silly if you follow

  that with logical conclusion

  it ends in anger I mean it's written

  just fine it's not but but i like the

  idea that our lives an important because

  we think i'll have to so important

  of course our lives are unimportant yeah

  your life is important right after I

  don't think my life is important

  you've got two or three important videos

  to make this year true true

  this episode of Hello internet is also

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  your next move with a beautiful website

  from Squarespace so I did something a

  bit silly last not what did you do last

  night breathing you know what I did

  because I told you I was going to do it

  because like I felt like it was

  something I couldn't do without telling

  you I was doing it

  you've been very silly lately I've been

  silly i invited listen to the podcast

  using various outlets such as Twitter

  and a patreon and emails and stuff to

  write limericks

  hello Internet themed limericks and send

  them to me for us to me is over and

  perhaps even award if they were creative

  enough this is such a you project Brady

  everything about this is is you I

  expected to get fifty or a hundred maybe

  if we're lucky we got lots and lots

  yeah you don't look at the back end of

  the podcast I don't think you realize

  how big this podcasters and if you add

  for hello Internet limericks you're

  gonna get a lot of them we did get a lot

  of them i assume everyone knows what

  limerick is but that is a false

  assumption isn't it because not everyone

  knows what limerick is well what do you

  think everyone does know what limerick

  is I feel on the spot because like a

  limerick is a like a rhyming poem

  yeah it's a power of a very set style

  and i tomatoes a very set way of reading

  and when you read about the rules of a

  limerick there is a little bit of

  latitude and certainly the ones we got

  sent used some of that latitude it has

  to be five lines and it has this AAA BBB

  a rhyming pattern so to give you an

  example in my email I sent out to people

  inviting them to submit I even read my

  own memory i write the invitations a

  limerick would you like to hear it

  let's hear it really you can't believe

  me do this stuff in here with your home

  or you're out for a drink

  I hope that you can take pause and think

  because if you have time you send me

  arrive and when vinyl by using this link

  suggesting that people might win a vinyl

  record for the winner

  you like that one I like that you do

  this kind of i like that you open

  yourself up to sorting through however

  many limits you got you said we received

  a bunch of limericks but like the vinyl

  like with many have other helmet net

  projects and I was not really involved

  you heard the unspoken hero of this so i

  like that you do these things really let

  me give you one more limerick example

  which is your favorite you know

  professor polygraph i mentioned before

  he's a chemist I spend lots of time with

  so his favorite limerick and a bit like

  a dad or grandpa who tells you the same

  joke over and over again

  I've heard him say this limit committee

  many times because his favorite and it's

  about the insecticide chemical DDT

  because of course that's what can we say

  lyrics about right let me see if I can

  cycle is not easy

  a mosquito was heard to complain that a

  chemist had poisoned his brain the cause

  of his sorrow was paradichlorobenzene

  dad I feel now trichloroethane that that

  is a chemistry limerick I think it will

  grab that but i think there's a better

  day ago so lots and lots of people sent

  limericks lots

  ok and they were a mixed batch as you

  would expect but I would like appreciate

  everyone who did it

  some people like went all out some

  people like sent like 10 some people

  sent more than 10 and each limerick

  followed on the one before and it was

  like a narrative like a whole story told

  in memory circulating the Iliad and the

  Odyssey yeah some people write limericks

  about our regular sponsors which I found

  interesting there was one guy called

  Chris and I think Chris must have fallen

  out of his sake when he saw the alerts

  about this because this was his moment

  because he emailed me a straight away

  and he said hi Brady i started writing

  limericks about each episode of the

  podcast about a year ago he goes on to

  say there i stopped after about 13 of

  them when i realized some of them were

  crap i hope he means his limericks and

  not the podcasts but anyway he's not

  entirely clear which were crap but i

  think he means his limericks but a

  couple of them were good

  I'm sorry so he sent all those limericks

  so for me there's good news and bad news

  about that for Chris the good news is

  that he didn't miss the short window of

  opportunity to send me the lyrics

  because there was only like a 24-hour

  opportunity and if he missed this window

  he would have been devastated

  yeah you were the bad news is i don't

  think any of his limericks made my

  shortlist sorry Chris but I could be

  wrong about that i'm not sure but one of

  my favorite experiences of this was when

  i showed you the webpage I'd written

  that explain the rules and how people

  could submit little I said what do you

  think about this and your reply was and

  our radio verbatim you wrote i can't

  think of any problems with that but i'm

  sure the internet will find them and i

  did find out what the problem was little

  because when i wrote like the

  description of what I wanted people to

  do i gave them like the email address

  and i said in and the rules I said put

  Limerick in the subject field now right

  limerick an uppercase put Limerick in

  the subject field

  these reasons that reason yeah what do

  you think happened I don't know if it

  seems so straightforward to me i'm

  trying to think how will this get messed

  up at least two people i think more

  thought that meant they should write the

  entire Limerick in the subject field

  haha i don't think i will send out

  helmerich in the subject of the email

  which was quite an interesting

  interpretation of the instruction but I

  completely understand why they did it

  completely understandable totally

  understandable they're just following

  your instructions exactly so it makes me

  realize how hard it is to write

  instructions that we went through that

  with the voting process are trying to

  thinking really hard about this could be


  how will people stuff it up so I've come

  up with a short list which isn't

  particularly sure

  uh-huh of the ones that I think you're

  probably the best I've seen so far I

  thought maybe we should share some of

  them right so we're gonna go read

  through some limericks now

  yeah what's your limit grading scales

  like well I didn't really realize what a

  limerick was until we're just recording

  right now I didn't realize there was a

  specific rhyming pattern that we had to

  do was to data editor editor editor


  ok i will try to remember that and we

  will see how this goes and apologize to

  people for us reading them not the way

  you intended but that's just part of

  poetry isn't it and it sounds like it

  could be a disaster of greater than our

  limit goes but you say I'm sure you can

  pull this off now I can pull this off

  well go first I'll read one first

  already there once was a cave man named

  brady who said Maryland's flag drives me

  crazy i think it's ok said the robot

  called gray it's so bad that it might

  just amaze me i like it that's cute

  that's nice isn't it

  Marilyn flag yeah i'll send you your

  once so hang on let me send you the

  first one feature aid and there are you

  again okay

  there once was a doctor called Brady

  this one was a man not a lady

  he may be the cleverest to have visited

  Everest though great finds that claim

  rather shady red I like that one

  I believe I just claim that you visited

  Everest is very podcast I don't find

  that claim shady

  doll no but it's shady that I'm the

  cleverest to visit Everest 00 Catholic I

  think that's what they may not know who


  okay here we go hello Internet held an

  election for a flag where the author

  affection we chose milan gear the loyal

  teams cheer flag flag rebels cry

  insurrection I think the problem is

  limericks their brain is expecting

  something naughty when you say and I

  would traditionally limerick Sarah bit

  naughty and most of these are naughty i

  did say on the grounds that a little bit

  of naughtiness was allowed but we have

  got a couple of naughty ones coming

  ok but yeah you're right a bit of

  naughtiness is good so I cannot tell you

  how many liberals I've read today grades

  ridiculous i think it's gonna explode as

  kids that nothing happened Olympics you

  read either but I feel like this is a

  crazy-making thing to do

  alright well doesn't this next one for

  you ok on a quest very great pseudonym

  dr. heron went out on the limb made of

  metal and wheels his friend also feels

  the best listeners should all be called


  it's nice it's now a pseudonym and limb

  don't rhyme i can't i can't accept that

  now that one ! that works for me i was

  pretty harsh on one where I thought the

  writing wasn't up to scratch but I

  thought that was our pseudonym does not

  rhyme with limb I'm disagree disagree

  alright well what you think of this

  there once was a robot code gray and you

  might find it out when i say though he

  loved automation flags and education he

  always led Brady astray

  I never leave this movie no no that's

  slanderous that Limerick is slanderous i

  have never led you astray Brady era

  never not once not ever

  here's another one for you then I don't

  know how you'd be doing this all day

  because i have read to limericks and I

  feel like I'm already losing my mind

  ok my day had been fairly mundane when H

  i started up in my brain so I jumped to

  my feet thought I must send a tweet at

  Brady Haran i'm not on a plane

  oh my god i love that that is amazing

  and I was like yeah I that is absolutely


  yeah whatever here we go they may both

  have a passion for flagging and some

  freebooting had their hearts egging but

  when they asked around they surprisingly

  found that their best known for the term

  humble bragging it's not bad not bad

  little bit of a vigorous for our

  problems with humble bragging don't mind

  being a dick

  here's one that my PTA okay Brady was

  brushing his teeth with a tooth brush

  with bristles of heath a crack

  interrupted and splinters erupted and

  his mouth did resemble a wreath i can

  give that one a vote to that having good

  i'm sorry I've been such a grump

  to be honest I feel like a chump but i

  hope you can see that it's not you it's

  me i'm in love with the mighty black

  stump the black stump was used in a lot

  of limericks people who got really into

  the black stump stump rhyme with very

  many things

  hmm you'd be surprised and you'd be

  surprised how many people notice the

  fact that Brady rhymes with both shady

  and lady the lady one feels like a give

  me right

  radiantly yeah like that had to have

  been a prominent feature yet there's

  another 15 okay Brady takes this

  ridiculous show two places it never

  should go from smartphones to race rats

  and cricketers nice bats gray is always

  the last one to know

  I feel like the Limerick speaks to me

  Brady does that's why it's on the one

  just for you to rate whoever wrote that

  I genuinely feel like that Limerick

  speaks to me

  this one's because I an element of truth

  to as well you ready

  mmm i have a message for gray I want him

  to see what I say but I know he won't

  read it will simply delete it but Brady

  might send his way

  perfect perfect

  all right here we got this one's VA

  Brady's biggest fan is a duck who finds

  himself being out of luck

  you're reading this gray as Brady can't

  say the Limerick ending with fuck is

  fitted norte I like it I like it

  you might like this one to them okay

  great we hope you will never be parted

  from your co-host and imp but

  kind-hearted and we know you don't like

  Brady touching his mark but at least he

  has never yet fired could go along with

  your strict policy of not looking

  yourself on the broadcast is another

  topic that came up quite a lot hot

  stoppers are fun don't you see they're

  more than just plastic to me a man

  quickly learns from his third degree


  it's no fun to wait an A&E and good good

  going to like it like that one right

  here we go free booted contents for

  jerks it sucks to steal people's hard


  it bums you too busy Tuesday like Brady

  and gray and Henry and Michael and Dirk

  okay i gotta give bonus points for

  cleverness for rhyming Dirk yeah it's

  very good

  all right here we go

  it met this one with all these limericks

  i feel like if i can get past the first

  two lines it's fine it's hard to read

  them as an attachment limericks it is

  surprisingly hard to reviews this is

  really interesting

  ok there once was an Adelaide man who

  came up with the naughtiest plan through

  the protests of grey limericks hooray

  and hand with this concept here and

  another one that does feel like my

  experience because you messaged me about

  this stuff you mentioned this to me

  ahead of time and but let's just say i

  am very slow at ever responding to

  messages of any kind from everyone

  yes I always feel like by the time I

  even respond to your messages about live

  thanks you've already gotten a page

  written like you're already moving

  forward with his plan so I do definitely

  feel like you're always half running

  with these things before i even wake up

  and see that there's a message and go

  braves got an idea let me rip it up with

  my thoughts on this like nope it's

  already done

  action now permission later exactly yeah

  but that's what you do for forgiveness

  there once was a fellow named Tim who

  downloaded hii on a whim as he sat on

  his flight he received quite a fright

  plane crash quarter was mentioning him

  that's right all right here we go

  haven't I could get this one wrong this

  is gonna take some concentration

  ok this is a bit concept art so but

  we're gonna have we're gonna have a few

  different ones in there 0 100 100 0 100

  100 one but great what does that mean

  my mind is not a machine 00 1 111111

  little too matter for me

  yeah it's a little too clever for its

  own good that was it has meaning it

  would have been better if the numbers

  rhymed but i like that they were trying

  to be different people can read that one

  later and figure out what the things

  made because the numbers to actually

  mean something

  oh I would be disappointed if they

  didn't this is a nice one for you

  hey gay sadly I'm filled with regret

  that my needs just haven't been met am a

  tactical shopper who wants a

  heart-stopper so now I get coffee from

  pretz I feel like that one has a really

  nice flow that's that's very nice

  yeah very smooth very smooth over an

  endless horizon a plane flies it's been

  diverted to dulles great Christ

  apartment and airport so boring grades

  already snoring dreaming of Brady as he

  closes his eyes and I never dreamed be

  breeding know if you did you wouldn't

  tell me because you are not talking

  about dreams

  that's true but i think i have literally

  never dreamed of you once so you say

  that make you sad no I don't dream about

  modern people i always dream about

  things from my childhood does not

  surprise me at all for some reason


  ok for a linguist i tend to bumble over

  english i often tumble but despite the

  nice term even i can confirm you'll

  never advance the bragg humble and take

  a big they're big

  that's right that's a layout isn't it is

  true that bread Campbell has got nowhere

  breathe like you're good at the word

  creation but that was terrible

  do you know what something happened the

  other day that was a really good example

  of a brand company should written it

  down that I wish I could remember

  whatever convoluted thing even meant by

  the bride humble I don't even remember


  we'll come back to it because i had a

  good break humble the other day and I

  don't even remember what it was

  well there once was a teacher cold gray

  who decided to quit one day he packed up

  his chalk and he took a short walk to

  use auto which drove him away two things

  on that i wish i'd use chalk as a

  teacher and i wish i had not oh ok i

  believe the second part not the first


  what do you mean I never had choc lab I

  don't believe you wish you did either

  no I always like chalk and i use chalk

  and university all the time when I was

  doing physics problems i would've

  thought he'd put in like the dusty

  dirtiness of it it is dusty and it is

  dirty and is a pain in the butt in many

  ways but I think there's something nice

  about working through problems with

  chalk as opposed to with markers and I'm

  mathematician swear by that was nothing

  else but yeah so you believe me know

  now this one starts with a but because

  it's part of one of those ones where

  someone has written a big narrative and

  I've just extracted one of the limericks

  from this greater story

  ok but within that strange microwave lay

  a twist set to ruin his day his plans

  were defeated the brew superheated and

  made quite the gray hands sauté never

  has a very much like the neighbor for

  Christmas field to it i don't quite know


  okay Bree I i am wondering yeah you've

  been doing this all day and I am

  wondering if you have lost my slightly

  because how many of these things do you


  we're nearly done with this short list

  and how do you possibly expect us to

  select a winner but maybe we'll find out

  about that later you can talk about that

  in a minute because I

  no idea what is another one for any

  would-be ballots tougher referendum by

  postcard is tougher but a quick offline

  pole spiraled out of control and for

  this postal workers did suffer like that

  yeah I'm not so sure she suffered mainly

  she seemed totally indifferent to our

  internet poll that we were running

  yeah but that was just one work and they

  were like postal workers all around the

  world that were having to transport

  these postcards for us we made no one's

  tougher Noah the county flags of Liberia

  were so bad they gave me Listeria i had

  my last meal red Guns Germs and Steel

  and died from plane crash hysteria man i

  really like that one video I thought I

  feel like it falls down at the last

  rhyme that last time doesn't quite work

  for me

  hysteria and Liberia it's pretty good i

  didn't read that well to be fair but

  anyway now you won't get the end of this

  one but the cricket fans will say this

  is my little nod for someone being


  ok this is one for the cricket fans yeah

  Brady surprised gray with a ticket to

  see a test match of cricket but when he

  tried to explain the rules of the game

  he was dismissed leg before wicket means

  nothing to me it means nothing to you

  here's a final one 4209 is the number of

  videos you'll find that grantees to

  release by the end of next week to only

  be slightly behind

  yeah I like that it's not bad i like

  that one was pretty good yeah it's

  pretty good

  that's just a few hopefully within yeah

  we'll give a few prizes out to ones that

  are the best

  I don't know how to really decide that

  if you got any ideas or I have no ideas

  and I really do feel like just reading

  through whatever it was ten limericks I

  feel like it has warped my brain somehow

  did I totally understand i was going

  crazy aliens invisible me like I don't

  know how you have made it through today

  but holy cow reading through them it's

  harder than you think it's going to be

  and there's something about the rhythm

  which just stirs your brain into crazy


  it's very it's weird and yeah i think i

  really only read and but holy cow I

  could not imagine reading all of them at


  well we'll go back through them and you

  and I can have a talk about how to pick

  winners and get some prizes at two

  people but everyone who sent one we

  really appreciate and i'll try and find

  a way to share more of them i don't know

  if i'll share all of them will say I've

  copy and paste most of them so i have

  got them on a document but i have to say

  that i really like his limerick format

  and I feel like the guy he rode him

  before Chris Wright who was doing a

  limit for each show i love the idea of

  there being a limit for each show it

  feels like this is the the opposite of

  when people leave a first comment like I

  saw a video i can let me just leave some

  low quality comments immediately within

  seconds of it going out right

  no no let me craft a piece of poetry

  about this literally crafting a home to

  describe the episode that you have just

  listened to four episodes of hello

  internet that feels like the anti first

  comment in the reddit is very I did I

  want to see like I want to see episodes

  every time someone has written a

  limerick it is totally the anti first

  comment is writing a poem about an hour

  podcast to help cement forever the

  legacy of the hell original podcast so

  that we never leave that Lobby I mean if

  I was going to have an official power

  hello Internet it definitely would be in

  the Limerick over say the Heike which i

  think is super pretentious the Limerick

  is funnier than the haiku

  yeah hi case full of itself someone did

  send a high-k thinking now been a smile

  like I didn't put them on the list where

  they weren't following the rules

  exactly no haikus people limericks

  yeah limericks limericks is where would

  you have the Limerick as the official

  partner fellow internet I am NOT

  interested in expanding the official

  things of this podcast i want to create

  these things an official official look

  II do you do what you need to do you ask

  for my blessing that the Limerick is the

  official form of poetry of the hell

  original podcast i am not granting that

  now we ever grant official status to

  anything ever again we'll have to find


  left mine operated

  I've got the Easter Bunny in front of me

  looking at

  taking off my screen I have literally

  been doing this whole conversation with

  a full screen of Easter bunnies in front

  of your fault i don't know i can

  hypnotize I'm hypnotized by all these

  Easter bunnies that are just staring at

  second one you said was terrifying

  they're all going for