The Incomparable

174: The Incomparable Christmas Spectacular


  the incomparable is brought to you by [TS]

  rick and morty the new adult swim [TS]

  animated comedy from the creator of [TS]

  community check it out monday nights at [TS]

  1030pm on adult swim the incomparable [TS]

  number 107 before christmas 2013 we are [TS]

  back on the uncomfortable podcast and [TS]

  it's just before christmas and i gotta [TS]

  say we have completely exhausted our [TS]

  holiday topic to holiday episodes in a [TS]

  row and I don't think there's really [TS]

  anything much more to say about the [TS]

  holiday so we're going to move on and [TS]

  I've got a great night tonight to talk [TS]

  about a fun non-holiday related topics [TS]

  you're listening to the incomparable [TS]

  radio shows of the Finley quality [TS]

  network [TS]

  stay tuned [TS]

  and now another adventure across time [TS]

  and space from the cosmic files of [TS]

  Nikola Tesla these are the two-fisted [TS]

  tales of Tesla [TS]

  tonight's episode who many tests was [TS]

  what fun [TS]

  I'm sure where the last people the [TS]

  clockwork Zeppelin's expected to run [TS]

  into on cestus 3 too bad they all have [TS]

  to go down in flames [TS]

  yes what is it what's wrong [TS]

  nothing it's just never mind it's almost [TS]

  Christmas [TS]

  how can you be sad that that's a whole [TS]

  other kettle of psychology Nick but [TS]

  that's just it [TS]

  how can it be almost Christmas or [TS]

  unstuck in time thanks to the translator [TS]

  when I found by chronological order but [TS]

  thought that's why it's even more [TS]

  important to maintain a sense of order [TS]

  why do you think I keep a calendar on [TS]

  the wall there as a joke as a reminder [TS]

  of where I am today [TS]

  december 21st you haven't changed in [TS]

  weeks [TS]

  the day is still young now this sadness [TS]

  you're talking about are thinking about [TS]

  family gets nothing [TS]

  what's going on [TS]

  I jobs [TS]

  I don't know [TS]

  well we seem to have stopped what [TS]

  happened he didn't touch any of the [TS]

  switches did you feel the way the ship [TS]

  packed it was almost as if we all [TS]

  grabbed by some sort of for stronger [TS]

  than a test later is Magneto impulsive [TS]

  coils easy for you to say that's all [TS]

  what's odd the lights on the console [TS]

  they're different somehow [TS]

  how can that be i'm not sure and look [TS]

  the screen is blank but we've clearly [TS]

  stopped moving [TS]

  wherever we are there we go there's [TS]

  oxygen out there shall we after you why [TS]

  this is just an ordinary living room a [TS]

  hotel room I think [TS]

  look at the door room rates floor map [TS]

  yes I think you're right Nick at least [TS]

  ours to start ahead and look a calendar [TS]

  on the wall looks like today's December [TS]

  twentieth we've gone backwards know [TS]

  we've simply landed somewhere where it's [TS]

  December twentieth nineteen thirty-four [TS]

  i'm going to guess New York City [TS]

  why do you say that the stationary new [TS]

  york hotel of course of course Nick yes [TS]

  thought what is it [TS]

  it did you close the tessellated or [TS]

  no how cannot be you open the door and [TS]

  there's still a closed-door there [TS]

  yes thought I could see that I'm right [TS]

  here what are you doing I'm going in [TS]

  Nick are you sure that's safe only one [TS]

  way to find out [TS]

  well everything looks all the right [TS]

  except yes what is it today [TS]

  seriously I have no idea on the calendar [TS]

  our calendar what date was on it [TS]

  Oh December 21st you there [TS]

  Nick what are you doing I'm sorry his is [TS]

  this your room [TS]

  I was just step away from the death [TS]

  later [TS]

  excuse me step away from the temple [TS]

  later i do you know what that is [TS]

  how do you know what this doctor I'm [TS]

  sorry doctor I don't know how she got in [TS]

  here is that you [TS]

  that's quite all right miss Virginia I [TS]

  have my suspicions [TS]

  don't you recognize me i'm sorry mr. i [TS]

  know you [TS]

  so curious if I didn't flip the calendar [TS]

  from december twenty first then why does [TS]

  it say April 30 [TS]

  what's that [TS]

  what in the blue blazes who are you and [TS]

  where did you come from [TS]

  I'd ask you the same question but I [TS]

  think I already know the answer why [TS]

  professor he looks just like you on the [TS]

  younger talk dr. he even sounds like you [TS]

  oh he doesn't that Eileen why do you [TS]

  suppose that is [TS]

  you mean is that you too fascinating [TS]

  indeed which leaves only two questions [TS]

  how why and how true mr. tales of Tesla [TS]

  will return after a word from our [TS]

  sponsor ladies are you looking for the [TS]

  right drink for your parties gatherings [TS]

  get-togethers and weddings and why not [TS]

  do is the house froze in the old country [TS]

  do and pour out at all cool Stein of [TS]

  Lohengrin that's right [TS]

  lohengrin beer made from the finest [TS]

  Austrian hops on german wheat break out [TS]

  the brats and kraut and serve up a taste [TS]

  of old dusseldorf today [TS]

  here comes the beer Lohengrin beard [TS]

  Osgood yah yah set a good friend and [TS]

  buried with low and green beer today not [TS]

  gonna be yeah i'm not sure who you are [TS]

  miss sochi China catania but I'm no [TS]

  threat to you I promise I'm sure of that [TS]

  opalina polystar there's no need for [TS]

  guns [TS]

  how can you be so sure doctor because I [TS]

  suspect she's shall we say quite like [TS]

  you [TS]

  I beg your pardon this mouse is nothing [TS]

  like me house my dear how could she [TS]

  possibly know what a test later is if [TS]

  she hadn't traveled in one herself [TS]

  exactly which makes me think there is [TS]

  another test later around here somewhere [TS]

  I suppose but i only see the one unless [TS]

  that was have the dog up closed [TS]

  what do you mean I stepped out of the [TS]

  tests later and when I turned her [TS]

  out the door was closed when the door [TS]

  opened again there was an another closed [TS]

  door behind it fascinating [TS]

  so in other words you start this device [TS]

  from dr. test light some point in his [TS]

  future [TS]

  now i must admit that's not implausible [TS]

  not very likely but not implausible [TS]

  I did no such thing all things being [TS]

  equal I think I shall hold on for my [TS]

  gotten thank you very much [TS]

  Oh Nick [TS]

  so what you're saying is something jerk [TS]

  to out of your normal flight path and [TS]

  brought you here exactly you're just [TS]

  repeating what I said I'm trying to [TS]

  understand the implications of this it [TS]

  means there's a tractor beam of [TS]

  unbelievable powers somewhere out there [TS]

  but that's impossible [TS]

  I'm sorry I'm getting dizzy it's all [TS]

  right Eileen this is what we call a dime [TS]

  buried on but because there are a pair [TS]

  of us [TS]

  whatever you say professor dr. me as I [TS]

  was saying it's quite impossible [TS]

  no one here is that kind of technology [TS]

  where is here anyway [TS]

  New York City the symbol of 1934 no one [TS]

  even has that kind of power december but [TS]

  the calendar over there says jun 26 jun [TS]

  but it's it April moments ago there is [TS]

  only one person here with that kind of [TS]

  power equal or more precisely do people [TS]

  or three [TS]

  this is just weird well the test later [TS]

  sure but I had nothing to do with this [TS]

  you may not have had two huh [TS]

  she's the failsafe activated what [TS]

  failsafe I was certain it was unless [TS]

  let's take a look under the proverbial [TS]

  with my friend a paradox is better than [TS]

  1 a 0 a paradox [TS]

  I don't get it [TS]

  that can't be what is it [TS]

  there is no failsafe mechanism that [TS]

  can't be [TS]

  I just said that how can it be missing [TS]

  if it was never there to begin with [TS]

  that's it what are you talking about [TS]

  professor dr. the missing lights on my [TS]

  test later console that's where the [TS]

  failsafe would have been unless I miss [TS]

  my guess it means that somewhere along [TS]

  the line I forgot something I should [TS]

  have remembered which I may not have [TS]

  known then but i will have learned later [TS]

  before [TS]

  oh sure put it that way huh what's your [TS]

  name again [TS]

  Eileen come on Eileen how I swear [TS]

  what I mean is at this moment everything [TS]

  is folding in on old just come with me [TS]

  I don't believe dr. this is a case for [TS]

  Occam's razor paulista shop thinking man [TS]

  nick she couldn't have been in that room [TS]

  as it is still locked from the inside [TS]

  she wasn't in the other room as we were [TS]

  there and she didn't sneak in the front [TS]

  door as it is still triple locked and [TS]

  chained this leaves one possible way [TS]

  into this room via test later yet she [TS]

  was not traveling with us therefore [TS]

  there must be another Desolator if it [TS]

  with another crowd here somewhere if i'm [TS]

  not mistaken but why you put down that [TS]

  gun thought Nick was your new friend [TS]

  would you believe another companion i [TS]

  certainly would I resemble that comment [TS]

  sir this is quite impossible quite [TS]

  impossible is my middle name [TS]

  I thought you didn't have a middle name [TS]

  required is fun [TS]

  wow so if there's another companion that [TS]

  means wait for me me mi me [TS]

  oh boy but Nick there's only one Tess [TS]

  later there how is this possible [TS]

  are you sure that i only see the one it [TS]

  appears to be one test later yes but [TS]

  there are by my rough calculation at [TS]

  least three tests laters sharing a [TS]

  single point in space and time I quality [TS]

  Louie precisely [TS]

  jinkies how is that even possible the [TS]

  failsafe mechanism is missing for my [TS]

  future sex machine and possibly from my [TS]

  own the missing lights precisely thought [TS]

  what are you talking about [TS]

  there is a fail-safe mechanism built [TS]

  into the test later to prevent it from [TS]

  distorting the gravitational field and [TS]

  pulling multiple tests laters into the [TS]

  same quantum superposition at the same [TS]

  moment in time which is what seems to [TS]

  have happened here because neither of [TS]

  your test laters appear to have this [TS]

  mechanism although they did that one [TS]

  time I believe so [TS]

  yes which means our machines are the r [TS]

  and soon our brains will be adjusting to [TS]

  a new and distort the timestream don't [TS]

  you lighten up here [TS]

  yeah I stopped trying to follow along in [TS]

  such close proximity could be [TS]

  devastating if the fields will be in [TS]

  exactly the wrong moment it would be [TS]

  catastrophic for New York City for the [TS]

  entire planets how so there might not be [TS]

  a man left after the herd of course so [TS]

  what do we do Nick fart escalators are [TS]

  missing the failsafe and his never had [TS]

  one [TS]

  an excellent question thought it's [TS]

  obvious we must figure out how many [TS]

  passes laters are here and which one of [TS]

  them set off this magnetic cascade but [TS]

  how [TS]

  let me to it i can break through all the [TS]

  doors brave words don ameche amici how [TS]

  that name rings about bold the answer [TS]

  it's none of us are supposed to be here [TS]

  right about everything looks like [TS]

  Bonamici who the chins all wrong [TS]

  now where were we right breaking down [TS]

  doors hold that me don't need to break [TS]

  anything [TS]

  what museums i still have it is here it [TS]

  is [TS]

  what on earth is that a Tesla coil in [TS]

  your pocket or I'm happy to see that i [TS]

  never thought i'd get it to work at that [TS]

  scale you're a few years away yet but [TS]

  you'll master it now [TS]

  not what did you say the date was the [TS]

  calendar is right there neck December [TS]

  1934 1934 of course [TS]

  look the locked room [TS]

  hold it right there my god how could it [TS]

  be [TS]

  nick who is that I'll give you one guess [TS]

  it is i thought don't you recognize me [TS]

  dr. Nikola Tesla you have got to be [TS]

  kidding me [TS]

  what is the meaning of all this you may [TS]

  be wondering why I've called you here [TS]

  today [TS]

  you did this but you are the oldest of [TS]

  us all [TS]

  surely you know better surely i do young [TS]

  man think about it time and place must [TS]

  have something to do with it [TS]

  nineteen thirty-four the year I built [TS]

  the first working Tesla later [TS]

  yes go on wait it's December but what [TS]

  days this December twentieth I thought [TS]

  so what time [TS]

  what's so important about the time [TS]

  seriously how long have you been [TS]

  traveling with your neck [TS]

  it's one thirty in the afternoon i can't [TS]

  remember where I was that day but i [TS]

  suspect i may still be at lunch [TS]

  yes that's hist yes now for the rest of [TS]

  us non Tesla's in the room at precisely [TS]

  3pm today i will make the first test of [TS]

  the test later of course but there is no [TS]

  protective mechanism no feel safe to [TS]

  prevent a quantum superfluity from [TS]

  destroying when whatever point in time [TS]

  and space where we land [TS]

  so all of our tests laters are in the [TS]

  same position as the original very good [TS]

  dots [TS]

  I know you grasp this idea we must [TS]

  install a fail-safe into the original [TS]

  machine and by installing it there it [TS]

  will appear in our only [TS]

  jeans and then test the prime there [TS]

  won't have to turn it off to land here [TS]

  how did you know that's what I did it [TS]

  was the only way once you landed the [TS]

  mechanism vanished from your machine but [TS]

  you wouldn't have been able to land [TS]

  without the activating it to begin with [TS]

  he said just me or is anyone else [TS]

  getting a headache that's would be the [TS]

  effects of the timestream influx now i'm [TS]

  pretty sure it's from all you paradox [TS]

  come on men let's get to work i'll use [TS]

  the pocket coil to detect the original [TS]

  machine from all these des laters [TS]

  we're in younger me although me [TS]

  let's get to work so it's good to see [TS]

  you again all of you I didn't know you [TS]

  had so many traveling companions neither [TS]

  did I he lay these with all the time in [TS]

  the world as it were [TS]

  I've had many many friends with which to [TS]

  travel [TS]

  looks to me like you've gotta type all [TS]

  thought it was not always so I still [TS]

  have fun memories of Castle my mute in [TS]

  with companion all he was a brave one he [TS]

  was big in quiet but handy in the [TS]

  occasional scrape with ruffians alas he [TS]

  missed his home and wanted to return [TS]

  still for all that he was rather low [TS]

  maintenance [TS]

  that's a good sign quick ladies into the [TS]

  test laters your time signature Wilkie [TS]

  you to the proper machine for your time [TS]

  stream [TS]

  how do you know that better not to ask [TS]

  dot now hurry or you'll be trapped here [TS]

  go up [TS]

  come on Eileen why does everyone think [TS]

  it was so lovely to see the three of you [TS]

  one last [TS]

  ah there you are my sweet soon we shall [TS]

  take you on a test run [TS]

  what's that what is this light doing [TS]

  here and look at notes that looks like [TS]

  my handwriting but how [TS]

  so dot where were we [TS]

  just another adventure in space and time [TS]

  and you were depressed you are thinking [TS]

  of time [TS]

  no it was family yes my mother I thought [TS]

  your mother had oh yes yes it was all so [TS]

  sudden I was on my way home and never [TS]

  mind anyway wasn't that cheating wasn't [TS]

  what she doing [TS]

  fixing something that you didn't know is [TS]

  broken then remembering not to do the [TS]

  thing that showed you that you needed to [TS]

  fix it [TS]

  wow you paid closer attention to all [TS]

  that I did so it's cheating [TS]

  it's bending the rules a little bit but [TS]

  that's alright when you have all of [TS]

  space and time with which to play now [TS]

  Family your mother [TS]

  it must be Christmas somewhere right now [TS]

  where would you like to go Nick I [TS]

  couldn't you can and you shall we can't [TS]

  change anything [TS]

  we don't have to we just have to say [TS]

  happy holidays [TS]

  that's enough yes well thought i would [TS]

  like to go home before [TS]

  yes before and to all a good night [TS]

  this has been another of the two-fisted [TS]

  tales of haha [TS]

  this is the Gotham cigarettes news [TS]

  roundup and now the man with the news [TS]

  Carl Phillips Dateline Bedford Falls New [TS]

  York police are seeking the whereabouts [TS]

  of a resident one George Bailey [TS]

  originally found wandering the bridge [TS]

  late last night man collapsed amid [TS]

  complaints of the tintinnabulation of [TS]

  bells bells bells bells as he was loaded [TS]

  into an ambulance he shouted I want to [TS]

  live upon arrival at the seneca county [TS]

  hospital [TS]

  the ambulance was found empty as if he'd [TS]

  never been there [TS]

  de ligne Baraboo Wisconsin 84 year old [TS]

  grandmother city Malloy was trampled and [TS]

  struck dead by a runaway reindeer in the [TS]

  eating under block of north decatur [TS]

  street reached for comment both her [TS]

  husband and her grandson wondered if [TS]

  this story could be turned into a [TS]

  holiday novelty song in her memory for [TS]

  fun and profit deadline North Pole Santa [TS]

  class is preparing are we really doing [TS]

  this [TS]

  yeah i know i'm on the effort but this [TS]

  is a news program 57 class is preparing [TS]

  for his annual philanthropic tour [TS]

  bringing gifts to all the good little [TS]

  boys and girls [TS]

  weather looks good for an early [TS]

  departure will continue to bring you [TS]

  updates as events warrant not this is [TS]

  Carl Phillips for the gotham cigarettes [TS]

  news roundup with this handy reminder to [TS]

  get them while the gotham's good [TS]

  and now a word from one of our [TS]

  incomparable sponsors [TS]

  hey there sailor are you looking for [TS]

  someone to host your website [TS]

  have you thought about hostgator so you [TS]

  want to start up a website hostgator can [TS]

  get you there with monthly hosting plans [TS]

  one click installs and tons of other [TS]

  features that make getting your site up [TS]

  and running [TS]

  easy and fun for the advanced user [TS]

  business hostgator can take care of you [TS]

  with reseller plans VPS and dedicated [TS]

  servers hostgator guarantees 99.9 [TS]

  percent up time no matter your size or [TS]

  knees with hostgator you get unlimited [TS]

  disk space and bandwidth they've got [TS]

  free site builder tools that are super [TS]

  easy to use but if you find yourself [TS]

  lost at sea or just need to reach out [TS]

  and touch someone they have twenty four [TS]

  seven support to help you with anything [TS]

  you need [TS]

  and hey tell them Snell sent me and [TS]

  you'll get a big discount on everything [TS]

  they do [TS]

  why don't you come on up to [TS] and see them sometime you [TS]

  were taking a journey down a long dark [TS]

  look out what's that black cat under [TS]

  foot or wasn't there are things that [TS]

  make you afraid of the dark things that [TS]

  make you go jump in the night [TS]

  look in the road up a hit that fork [TS]

  that's spooky twist [TS]

  go get em girls this is a roller derby [TS]

  it's war and you're not taking any [TS]

  prisoners you hear me [TS]

  e [TS]

  this is nikki Meredith retired from the [TS]

  job he hardly recalls who once a week [TS]

  takes on the toughest job of his life [TS]

  volunteer coach of the women's roller [TS]

  derby team don't back down get into [TS]

  Crouch cold girls [TS]

  yeah and this is roxy pressure [TS]

  nay Bernadette cardiff the best derby [TS]

  girl on Maple Street may be anywhere who [TS]

  will soon learn the trying to be the [TS]

  best at anything carries its own special [TS]

  risks enroute to the spooky twist [TS]

  you're listening to the spooky twist [TS]

  brought to you by cornet blue disposable [TS]

  facial tissues [TS]

  don't blow it blew it with cornet blue [TS]

  at now but spooky twist [TS]

  jaben wheels tonight racks good social a [TS]

  nothing to coach just doing what comes [TS]

  natural ack i gotta shave you're one of [TS]

  the best catch up here one of but not [TS]

  the hyrax don't take it like that he was [TS]

  the best actor right now by far right [TS]

  now by far [TS]

  let me guess mag [TS]

  yo honey management own was in a class [TS]

  by herself she was back in the day when [TS]

  they didn't even use a deus names to [TS]

  roll if it weren't for Mary I know I [TS]

  know this game wouldn't be what it is [TS]

  today but it's usually one actor rolling [TS]

  my career's closures become like to [TS]

  think i'm closer [TS]

  that's the spirit Kid and I'm gonna go [TS]

  lock up but you want to keep at it [TS]

  go right ahead years time thanks Nikki [TS]

  you bet girl the perfect turns the [TS]

  perfect hit you see that tonight and [TS]

  what do I get mags milou mags Malone [TS]

  every time I turn around its mags alone [TS]

  fine I get it universe mags great but [TS]

  she's been dead and gone 15 years now [TS]

  not that you'd know it from all the talk [TS]

  well you know what I'm sick of it sick [TS]

  of it you hear me mags milonas dead yeah [TS]

  me dead and buried in the ground on the [TS]

  best derby girl on Maple Street you hear [TS]

  me me Bernie cardiff and God is my [TS]

  witness of mags were alive and in this [TS]

  room I can beat her [TS]

  I could be a one-on-one how boy I would [TS]

  give anything anything to face off [TS]

  against her [TS]

  paging Maggie Malone magnum alone report [TS]

  tomorrow in rollerdome maple street [TS]

  boston another one [TS]

  alright I'll show what's what I would [TS]

  you rang [TS]

  cat got your tongue kid but what is this [TS]

  hey you're the one who called me mags [TS]

  Malone in the flesh but Bo dead [TS]

  yes I suppose I am but legends don't die [TS]

  Bernadette Roxy right [TS]

  she called use fake names now it's Who I [TS]

  am when I'm out here Bernie cardiff [TS]

  that's a liar cop or an account the guys [TS]

  name [TS]

  Bernadette was also a saint well then I [TS]

  really ain't no Bernadette you get my [TS]

  meaning ride racks and racks it crush [TS]

  she's beautiful dangerous she doesn't [TS]

  take nothin from no one you know I'm [TS]

  sure she doesn't but i'm also here for [TS]

  Bernadette why are you here at all [TS]

  you're dead and buried ancient legends [TS]

  never die Roxy legends live on give us [TS]

  something to yearn for something to [TS]

  challenge it's why we're here [TS]

  here's that kool match what i did make [TS]

  it better outcome I don't need this I [TS]

  just practice my heart out [TS]

  you need legends we all do yeah well [TS]

  your time is up [TS]

  time for a new Legend on Maple Street [TS]

  know we'll see about that [TS]

  what do you mean I thought you wanted to [TS]

  roll against me what you give anything [TS]

  anything to meet me out there right you [TS]

  did say that [TS]

  yeah but [TS]

  but this isn't real is it as real as [TS]

  wheels on concrete darlin [TS]

  this can't be but what if it is alright [TS]

  Your Honor I guess now about the stakes [TS]

  stakes something to make it more [TS]

  interesting make my long journey back [TS]

  here worthwhile got to have some steaks [TS]

  I suppose [TS]

  let's say I got about 50 bucks here [TS]

  well he's what am I going to do with [TS]

  money well alright you tell me what are [TS]

  the stakes life-and-death you beat me [TS]

  you live you lose your roll off into the [TS]

  sunset [TS]

  that's not so bad that's poetic talk for [TS]

  you die o.o and now a word from the [TS]

  sponsor of the spooky twist still using [TS]

  a handkerchief this winter season is [TS]

  that a cold or flu in your pocket or are [TS]

  you just the more you use a single [TS]

  handkerchief the more you run the risk [TS]

  of spreading germs wherever you try [TS]

  cordon bleu disposable facial tissues [TS]

  today extra-strong 2-ply tissues will [TS]

  stand up to all the huffing and puffing [TS]

  you've got ass cornet player Jerry aims [TS]

  to put cornet blue to the test single [TS]

  tissue has been drenched with water and [TS]

  attached to the end of Jerry's horn are [TS]

  you ready Jerry blow the man down [TS]

  he's still playing folks in that corner [TS]

  blues possible facial tissue is holding [TS]

  on [TS]

  good work Jerry still remember folks [TS]

  it's strong enough for the brass it's [TS]

  strong enough for you don't blow it blew [TS]

  it with cornet blue and now we return to [TS]

  the spooky twist well what's it going to [TS]

  be [TS]

  I'm thinking I'm thinking I didn't [TS]

  really mean to you know your kind hardly [TS]

  ever does mean to you now wait just a [TS]

  minute it's all hot air big talk from [TS]

  big dreamers but when the Heat's on you [TS]

  fold like an origami swan you're not [TS]

  even real I'm real all right as far as [TS]

  you're concerned I'm still the best and [TS]

  i'll always be the best you were the [TS]

  best you'll never get the job done with [TS]

  your mouth kid watch me do we have a [TS]

  match yeah [TS]

  you got knocked down [TS]

  takes more than Moxie to win this time I [TS]

  got all the time in the world kid up on [TS]

  your wheels let's go [TS]

  what's going on here max it's okay Nikki [TS]

  just taking a little one-on-one down [TS]

  here you wouldn't believe me [TS]

  what's the matter thought you think you [TS]

  had a screw loose [TS]

  nice move you got lucky I got lucky I [TS]

  got skill lady I got years and years of [TS]

  practice built up in these bones [TS]

  oh is that all do you know how long I've [TS]

  spent in here rolling and practicing I [TS]

  made a deal with Nikki dad to stay late [TS]

  and practice whenever I want and I [TS]

  always want [TS]

  yes but where did you get to live Roxy [TS]

  Bernadette I may have practice and I may [TS]

  have been the best but I took the time [TS]

  to live too [TS]

  I've been to places where they've never [TS]

  even heard of roller derby I've made [TS]

  love climb mountains rebuilt carburetors [TS]

  shot carabao what have you done with [TS]

  your life have become the best at this [TS]

  now get up and let's finish [TS]

  it's not too late too late for what to [TS]

  give him to stop [TS]

  oh I bet you'd love that i give up keep [TS]

  the crowd I know how this works [TS]

  who's hot and now i'm sorry i'm required [TS]

  that you love it if I quit wouldn't you [TS]

  I know you won't believe me but I want [TS]

  you to watch this show you my stars [TS]

  it can't be Jackie moon [TS]

  yeah you saw that right Nicky you saw [TS]

  that I don't know if I can believe my [TS]

  eyes kid [TS]

  yes you can Nikki that's maximum lying [TS]

  there in a pile of tin cans i put it [TS]

  there keep so even that old bag of [TS]

  cheeky they're saying I beat you didn't [TS]

  I you won fair and square Bernadette and [TS]

  name's Roxy crush' and now i'm free you [TS]

  see now you're the best and people like [TS]

  you [TS]

  they're always going to need a best the [TS]

  best they're going to call out for [TS]

  legend to come down to earth and face [TS]

  them they'd give anything anything to be [TS]

  the best and now now they're going to [TS]

  have to face you [TS]

  what do you mean just wait you'll see [TS]

  wait is check it this is a bag full of [TS]

  Christmas presents are you sure [TS]

  yes but when i reach inside there's [TS]

  nothing the plants she to Bernadette let [TS]

  me see that all i can find in here are [TS]

  10 cans [TS]

  there's a reason for that do you [TS]

  remember what you did before you retired [TS]

  Nick why is sure [TS]

  hey I was a delivery man I think I [TS]

  suppose you could put it that way you [TS]

  don't mean watch you were the delivery [TS]

  man [TS]

  st. Nicholas paging Bernie that card for [TS]

  that part of please report to smell [TS]

  skate city evansville indiana she-witch [TS]

  go [TS]

  evansville indiana which you listening [TS]

  military up you've got a long night [TS]

  ahead of you [TS]

  yeah I guess you with dad by the way you [TS]

  wouldn't happen to know a suicidal [TS]

  trumpet player [TS]

  miss Bernadette cardiff became legend by [TS]

  beating one but it was found that being [TS]

  the best at anything means proving it [TS]

  again and again and mr. Nicki Meredith [TS]

  may Nicholas of Myra Nicholas the [TS]

  wonder-worker dare i say center gloss [TS]

  man reborn by remembering the joy in his [TS]

  presence as for mrs. Maggie Malone she's [TS]

  taking a well-earned vacation for the [TS]

  first time in forever and that was the [TS]

  spooky twist you ever listening to gifts [TS]

  of the Maggie by Norton oberlin on the [TS]

  spooky twist brought to you by cornet [TS]

  blue disposable facial tissues goodnight [TS]

  and good health [TS]

  is your officer waiting room lacking a [TS]

  pleasing oral atmosphere are your days [TS]

  devoid of musical entertainment [TS]

  look no further friend Kleinman's house [TS]

  of music is here to handle your [TS]

  nondescript anonymous music needs you [TS]

  may be thinking what would i need with [TS]

  soothing anonymous music you might be [TS]

  surprised are you say our dentist [TS]

  what do the patients in your waiting [TS]

  room here as they sit dreading their [TS]

  appointment I don't know that this but [TS]

  dear your apps yes I could live with it [TS]

  come on here now let's see what happens [TS]

  with a little of that Kleinman's magic [TS]

  in the background [TS]

  say honey I can't wait until it's my [TS]

  turn that abscess isn't gonna heal [TS]

  itself [TS]

  that's nice dear four out of five [TS]

  dentists surveyed recommend Kleinman's [TS]

  house of music for their patients who [TS]

  are nervous [TS]

  don't test your patience try some [TS]

  soothing anonymous music from Kleinman's [TS]

  today [TS]

  that was the shot that killed Paul [TS]

  citroën he died in a sewer in via [TS]

  perhaps that was the shot [TS]

  there we go now there will be yes it was [TS]

  a gunshot in a sewer beneath Vienna that [TS]

  was the end of Paul citroën but it was [TS]

  not the beginning like a cat he had many [TS]

  lives and illustrious sheen and I can [TS]

  recount them all how can that be very [TS]

  simple because my name is Paul citroën [TS]

  guy van Straten recreate his famous role [TS]

  as Paul citro in the confidence man [TS]

  tonight's episode no room at vienna [TS]

  the air had a crisp bite to it in Vienna [TS]

  that december i had often sworn to stay [TS]

  away from that fair city but something [TS]

  about the holidays always drew me back [TS]

  this time around it was a train ticket [TS]

  delivered to my hotel in Budapest along [TS]

  with a request for my presence [TS]

  no name no signature only return address [TS]

  what could possibly go wrong [TS]

  and now as i stood in the telefunken [TS]

  straße I double check that address [TS]

  because this was a Catholic Church now [TS]

  most churches in Vienna had ample [TS]

  treasures i should say reasons for me to [TS]

  visit but they rarely came with personal [TS]

  invitations so I bowed my head and [TS]

  blessed myself and walked right in [TS]

  couldn't hurt and the water didn't burn [TS]

  not yet i type razon i'm sorry do I know [TS]

  you Father you use the trend ticket i [TS]

  sent wow very generous of you but [TS]

  perhaps we should talk elsewhere [TS]

  this is not the place lead the way and [TS]

  with that we were away to the gasthaus [TS]

  kits [TS]

  the gun in my pocket felt less [TS]

  conspicuous there than in a church for [TS]

  obvious reasons it was a small caliber [TS]

  check out of 22 but I tried never to use [TS]

  father whole crafted i settled in for a [TS]

  milder past of the nourishment saloon [TS]

  device Pierre just farted again bring to [TS]

  advise beers anyway it's been a good [TS]

  month probably scored yah [TS]

  now the brass tacks yes tax father the [TS]

  only certainties in this life are death [TS]

  and brass tacks and no one really wants [TS]

  to get down rather than one I am given [TS]

  to understand you are a man was certain [TS]

  expertise of a less than listen nature i [TS]

  do hope you're not looking to drum up [TS]

  business the old confessional dre [TS]

  because i have to tell you I don't [TS]

  recount my sins to just any no no of [TS]

  course not it is simply that there is [TS]

  another at hand of some delicacy that [TS]

  may require this expertise y Padre are [TS]

  you suggesting I should fly my alleged [TS]

  trade go on confess there is a scheduled [TS]

  ground [TS]

  I'm listening wait haha survive I Spears [TS]

  to bina schnitzel ah schnitzel in [TS]

  immediate physical salon just the way [TS]

  you like them [TS]

  Susan Oliver had hot done to throw kids [TS]

  and Peter Peter now this crowd to be [TS]

  precise the diadem of stencil esto it [TS]

  has been missing for some time [TS]

  how long is sometimes [TS]

  close the 450 years and yet after there [TS]

  are here Indiana we discovered it for of [TS]

  Antiquities long thought lost now who [TS]

  exactly is we i come from Rome the big [TS]

  we indeed vineyard is managed to bring [TS]

  it back to the wrong unfortunately Korea [TS]

  was well in and left for dead the crown [TS]

  stolen emphysema be lost again except [TS]

  you know where it is now that you're now [TS]

  if you didn't there'd be no reason to [TS]

  find someone with my expertise and story [TS]

  would be woefully shoot it appears to be [TS]

  locked of a in the collection of 18 Neal [TS]

  whooping cough [TS]

  he has a building here in town on the [TS]

  Nama Alexander Platz so let me get this [TS]

  straight you're hoping I'll just all [TS]

  trade in there in the phrase should be [TS]

  so lucky retrieve this crown and you [TS]

  will know spot to know the details [TS]

  really i'm shocked shocked i tell [TS]

  desperate measures hair citron I'm sure [TS]

  you understand Jerry with Dante [TS]

  and with that I decided to take the job [TS]

  after all was the poet once said carpe [TS]

  diet [TS]

  well the good father left me to my me [TS]

  and I immediately set to work on that [TS]

  second vice beer just then throughout [TS]

  kids will return with a note [TS]

  excuse me for your I have a note [TS]

  yes I just said that to home the [TS]

  audition for kids so it was a note from [TS]

  a woman across the room [TS]

  aduh I'd young woman with a cascade of [TS]

  well you don't really care about all [TS]

  that you want to know what the note said [TS]

  quote is the priest coming back [TS]

  unquote I caught her eye and took my [TS]

  head then with 140 sleep the other chair [TS]

  out for her she was even more do I'd and [TS]

  cascading up quotes i saw you with the [TS]

  priest then I couldn't help but wonder [TS]

  then you know who I am indeed miss your [TS]

  syndrome [TS]

  I'm read you have the upper hand in this [TS]

  relationship with which I'm remarkably [TS]

  adding use Sophia Delacroix pleased to [TS]

  meet you are acquainted idea [TS]

  you may make of me whatever you'd like [TS]

  and please pause [TS]

  of course [TS]

  so live around here much [TS]

  no only visiting on business no pleasure [TS]

  how business in Vienna is always a [TS]

  pleasure [TS]

  depending on the part of town pleasure [TS]

  in Vienna is business as well I wouldn't [TS]

  know about that all know course you or [TS]

  is the driven snow [TS]

  I can see it in your eyes you are 32 [TS]

  days though perhaps we could get a night [TS]

  have it you'll get to my notice [TS]

  so the only Christian can continue our [TS]

  conversation as another poet once said [TS]

  comp a nightcap or in other words sees [TS]

  the Dame guy van Straten as the [TS]

  confidence man in the lives of Paul [TS]

  citroën we'll be back but first this [TS]

  message [TS]

  we're here at the home of famed [TS]

  chrononaut Richard Morton to talk about [TS]

  his life and adventures which have [TS]

  apparently inspired a new television [TS]

  program [TS]

  good day mr. Morton good day young man [TS]

  god you're making him younger all the [TS]

  time your exploits are legendary the [TS]

  world of science not to mention science [TS]

  fiction there are true son every one of [TS]

  them except the ones i made up for those [TS]

  dime novels back when the market crashed [TS]

  and now i'm going to understand that the [TS]

  adult swim channel has adapted your [TS]

  adventures on to our who now is that a [TS]

  network it's part of cartoon network [TS]

  network for cartoons I stars and their [TS]

  new adult swim cartoon series Rick and [TS]

  Morty from justin roiland and Dan Harmon [TS]

  the creator of community it what we all [TS]

  create community that's just part of [TS]

  life don't know i mean the television [TS]

  series community on NBC [TS]

  that's not a thing a community is people [TS]

  dagnamit will be that as it may Rick and [TS]

  Morty is a new series about a [TS]

  sociopathic scientists to drag his [TS]

  grandson on adventures across time and [TS]

  space sociopathic grandson [TS]

  I don't have a grandson who are you [TS]

  calling social pathak no know what it's [TS]

  the show Rick and Morty sounds like they [TS]

  realized my name was two first names and [TS]

  they changed it around so they wouldn't [TS]

  get sold [TS]

  I don't think it's like that at all I [TS]

  must be stopped already on here monday [TS]

  nights at ten-thirty on adult swim by [TS]

  joven by jingo I'll find a way you hear [TS]

  me you'd still have your chromospheric [TS]

  dirigible don't you are what now your [TS]

  time machine [TS]

  alright that was from the dime novels [TS]

  but i do have this temper ellipses [TS]

  device with which yes i can go back in [TS]

  time and stop this show from happening [TS]

  in the first place and you my lawn [TS]

  well there you have it [TS]

  Richard Morton krona not too apparently [TS]

  has nothing to do with the new adult [TS]

  swim series Rick and Morty at least [TS]

  until he prevents it from ever happening [TS]

  so until then watch rick and morty [TS]

  monday nights at ten-thirty on adult [TS]

  swim while you still can [TS]

  after a chaste good night in the promise [TS]

  of future entanglements I left so fear [TS]

  to her own devices and set to work with [TS]

  a few devices of my own [TS]

  the first of these was a camera with [TS]

  which to say to see around old Vienna or [TS]

  more precisely the toten cop building [TS]

  this is what fiction writers call casing [TS]

  the joint with those of us on the ground [TS]

  call [TS]

  step 1 guten morgen [TS]

  ah good morning officer Rayna officer [TS]

  card rana pleased to make your [TS]

  acquaintance [TS]

  John Ruby tourists may I ask about your [TS]

  sink you're doing and ropey and I was [TS]

  under the impression I was taking [TS]

  photographs it going to set is taking [TS]

  photographs [TS]

  yeah that is reach ball four so going to [TS]

  shine and we have reason to believe that [TS]

  you are not just shooting photographs [TS]

  why what else would I be doing shooting [TS]

  elephant in my pajamas elephant in his [TS]

  pajamas [TS]

  how did the packet of so getting your [TS]

  java spotted officers practice meant [TS]

  doing here it says is taking pictures [TS]

  sergeant then we shall let him be [TS]

  but sergeant belkin family now come [TS]

  shine getting severe concussion surgeon [TS]

  I'm simply a tourist enjoying the sights [TS]

  and all the and chef see about set here [TS]

  sit on she'll see [TS]

  so the political side were focused on [TS]

  the building as well and this sergeant [TS]

  Bell kurnool my real name [TS]

  this is what fiction writers would call [TS]

  a complication and I call an [TS]

  occupational hazard [TS]

  look this is all procedure which is [TS]

  about as exciting as watching paint dry [TS]

  granted it maybe paint with a breakage [TS]

  sense of humor but nonetheless and paint [TS]

  like humor is best when dry so let's [TS]

  just cut to the masterpiece shall we [TS]

  there it was the jeweled diadem of same [TS]

  Sylvester in all its glory [TS]

  don't move hair Roby by Officer rana [TS]

  you're out of uniform very observant [TS]

  this one there's no way you could know [TS]

  this two-parter really policeman but [TS]

  Paul Paul do you not remember me [TS]

  sergeant Bell kerr wait not Belko [TS]

  against Belko can it be very good [TS]

  Ernie Belko as I live and breathe [TS]

  awesome mom [TS]

  I haven't seen you since what the [TS]

  Sicilian job you've changed texts late [TS]

  fall Chevy ahead and see spectacles [TS]

  change the voice picking names it sounds [TS]

  close enough so your response then it's [TS]

  called you're not again [TS]

  now I think subvert is checkmate [TS]

  I say but on the earth is going on here [TS]

  goodbye here totenkopf yeah you shot me [TS]

  and they only had my lines dry counties [TS]

  are drawing the lines at four are you [TS]

  it's only going to get in severe let me [TS]

  guess he hired you to steal the diagram [TS]

  but you've decided to keep it for [TS]

  yourself [TS]

  not at all we have to borrow heavily [TS]

  insured Ruby started chalice of safety [TS]

  Renee toes and split the insurance [TS]

  payout while he got to keep the chalice [TS]

  locked away somewhere else but when I [TS]

  realized you were in town and around [TS]

  this building [TS]

  well you know and here you are with the [TS]

  Magnificent gotten crown [TS]

  what this old thing more like a [TS]

  jewel-encrusted rugby ball you ask me [TS]

  you're outnumbered three-to-one head it [TS]

  off up all catch Jack Ryder rainer been [TS]

  played for I had the feelings that shoot [TS]

  one another one of these days but i [TS]

  still have seen our thank you touch like [TS]

  what might labored good night against [TS]

  Belko whomever you are [TS]

  one thing I learned in that Sicilian job [TS]

  he wasn't very good at the confidence [TS]

  game [TS]

  no wonder he wanted to change his [TS]

  identity such was the impotence of being [TS]

  Ernst [TS]

  Paul what have you got there are you [TS]

  leaving town [TS]

  no my ideas simply and items come to [TS]

  deliver i'm glad to get that corn Arbenz [TS]

  about a whole prop about kids yes the [TS]

  drama i heard he knows about totenkopf [TS]

  you didn't kill him did you [TS]

  what knew that that was an unrelated [TS]

  incident would you have had a problem if [TS]

  I had a zit priests even for the Vatican [TS]

  i could not condone but surely you know [TS]

  that but you have rescued the diet let [TS]

  me ask indeed Padre indeed if you are in [TS]

  fact a priest what I think you're [TS]

  talking about you certainly hustled me [TS]

  out of their church in a hurry but you [TS]

  forgot to genuflect you didn't dip into [TS]

  the holy water on your way out now I may [TS]

  not be a good Catholic boy but even I [TS]

  took the time for that my sign your [TS]

  expertise hardened you and majors [TS]

  vinegar of course as he said this I [TS]

  filter hand slip into my jacket pocket [TS]

  and with that the good father had [TS]

  expertly lifted my check out of 22 [TS]

  it's not my experience pondering it's [TS]

  human nature did that suitcase taught me [TS]

  slowly [TS]

  what is this [TS]

  30 pieces of silver fitting don't you [TS]

  think there's that is the most [TS]

  interesting tell me or I should know you [TS]

  won't shoot me but I just shoot the [TS]

  women you have until the count of ten [TS]

  now one I don't believe in using guns [TS]

  myself but I will admit this is not the [TS]

  first time someone has turned on a dime [TS]

  and pulled my own on [TS]

  that's why I carried a doctor doctor how [TS]

  you might have well let's just say I [TS]

  felt confident in saying to him I'd be [TS]

  careful with that if I were you [TS]

  you'll shoot your eye out kid don't be [TS]

  absurd [TS]

  now where's the diet and Oh tell him [TS]

  after lieber lost to the ages I'd [TS]

  imagine i found you i hate to say I told [TS]

  himself [TS]

  did you really find the diadem of Saint [TS]

  Silvestre let me guess you're the [TS]

  emissary from the Vatican alas yes [TS]

  sister Sophia Delacroix of the Cross an [TS]

  alias yes no just the case of nominative [TS]

  determinism people shame that would [TS]

  explain the trees [TS]

  goodnight where it explains why i hated [TS]

  having to say goodnight pure as the [TS]

  driven snow is nobody here who they said [TS]

  they were yeah I am steamy and uncle for [TS]

  our kids look so expect you'll be [TS]

  wanting the crown you still have it [TS]

  oh yes every now and then I like to work [TS]

  on the side of the angels just in case [TS]

  Oh [TS]

  and so I gave the diet them to sister [TS]

  Sophia to return to the Vatican because [TS]

  one good turn often rewards another [TS]

  besides if it had gone missing again and [TS]

  they would have been uneasy lies ahead [TS]

  for those who wonder where's the crayon [TS]

  you have been listening to guide van [TS]

  Straten as the confidence man in the [TS]

  lives of all citro [TS]

  in the quality work [TS]

  fq and and now Bush Michaels presents [TS]

  Marjorie cut a freelance adventurous one [TS]

  special collections librarian for a [TS]

  major northeastern university Marjorie [TS]

  found no four walls nor thousand steps [TS]

  could contain her boundless curiosity [TS]

  now she travels the world in search of [TS]

  treasure mystery discovery mode ricotta [TS]

  archivist my trade adventurous by nature [TS]

  when last we left Marjorie and her [TS]

  faithful assistant Milo they were [TS]

  trekking across land with their old [TS]

  friend and local guy [TS]

  Rudolph driba on a quest for the sample [TS]

  the magical mythical cornucopia finish [TS]

  legend gosh Marjorie there are a lot of [TS]

  small mountains here you really think [TS]

  sample was hit around here he's not [TS]

  really mountains my love to terrier [TS]

  fells much smaller I keep telling you [TS]

  the Kalevala is just a legend a story [TS]

  all stories on the foundation and truth [TS]

  Rudy I don't know what the sample really [TS]

  is the my gosh and by golly I'm going to [TS]

  find it my name is its when suddenly a [TS]

  door opened in the side of one of the [TS]

  mountains before them [TS]

  all right you three hands up and single [TS]

  file now and now chapter 5 how we fell [TS]

  in the Lapland of luxury lower I just [TS]

  college to say goodbye I say how much [TS]

  deeper into this tutorial you going to [TS]

  take us all the way in lady that's no [TS]

  lady that's Marjorie Corder famous [TS]

  adventurer s Thank You Milo I think [TS]

  makes no difference to me squirts you're [TS]

  all going to die in I instead whomever [TS]

  you are the Lions did you don't mean [TS]

  nobody's talking about [TS]

  I idea he was hiding up here who is it [TS]

  Rudy is known only as the life but it [TS]

  sits at the center of the web of [TS]

  organized crime boss Paul of Scandinavia [TS]

  no one knows his real name no one seen [TS]

  his face you wear the golden mask and [TS]

  shows no mercy he is easily the most [TS]

  feared man this side of the Baltic Sea [TS]

  why there are those people's you keep [TS]

  walking [TS]

  holy schnikeys what is this place [TS]

  who goes there is that hard [TS]

  he is the lion what have we here [TS]

  a group of explorers and adventurers [TS]

  semantics know Americans let it go [TS]

  Milo calgon what took you so long they [TS]

  slow down for expositions typical and [TS]

  you [TS]

  you [TS]

  Americans just happened to stumble upon [TS]

  my hidden mountain lair quite by chance [TS]

  yes we are here in search of the sample [TS]

  finish legend the sample you know that's [TS]

  not a thing right [TS]

  the legend has to start somewhere [TS]

  for example the sample was said to [TS]

  produce gold and I can't help but notice [TS]

  this cave of yours is lined with gold in [TS]

  fact even your mask is made of gold [TS]

  perhaps I took ahold away from a dragon [TS]

  haha that there's no such thing as [TS]

  dragons mr. no such thing as a sample [TS]

  that's what they all say [TS]

  wait that's what he said why do I [TS]

  recognize your voice [TS]

  i'm sure i have no idea look is removing [TS]

  the mask Marjorie Alliance is that you [TS]

  my stars [TS]

  what are the odds what indeed who is [TS]

  this guy Marjorie Elias lane he was in [TS]

  my class at the academy [TS]

  Marjorie Carter I never thought I'd see [TS]

  you again too bad it had to be at the [TS]

  end of your life [TS]

  what do you mean well you can't be [TS]

  allowed to leave now [TS]

  now that you know where i am what i am [TS]

  you've changed Alliance you haven't [TS]

  bowled in the face of death i'm a [TS]

  freelance adventurous I face death for [TS]

  breakfast sometimes 40 that can be [TS]

  arranged my dear [TS]

  calgon take them away with the lion [TS]

  really have Marjorie and her friends [TS]

  killed will they escape and find the [TS]

  sample whatever will happen [TS]

  find out in our next exciting chapter [TS]

  crossing the finish line or what happens [TS]

  is lame rot right after this [TS]

  if a tree falls in the forest does it [TS]

  really make a sound [TS]

  who can sing but it does make a barrel [TS]

  for the bush Michaels distillery only [TS]

  the finest wood goes into our barrels [TS]

  because only the finest would ages the [TS]

  finest Bourbons started the depths of my [TS]

  tango caverns in central Kentucky our [TS]

  bourbon is aged for a minimum of 15 [TS]

  years for extra smoothness and extra [TS]

  fire [TS]

  whether you're looking for adventure or [TS]

  just to curl up by the fire [TS]

  look to Bushmills Michaels and remember [TS]

  kids while your parents enjoy their [TS]

  quiet time collect the bottle caps from [TS]

  four-fifths of Bushmills Michaels to [TS]

  send away for your very own Marjorie [TS]

  Carter decoder communicator watch drink [TS]

  the code to tell the time today and now [TS]

  back to Marjorie car our saga continues [TS]

  in chapter 6 denial in the lion's den [TS]

  our baby it's cold outside [TS]

  gosh Marjorie this ropes are awfully [TS]

  tight you're telling me kid [TS]

  I told you the line was ruthless didn't [TS]

  I know I don't think you mentioned that [TS]

  part just the whole center of the [TS]

  organized crime web thing [TS]

  well ruthless should have gone without [TS]

  saying silence [TS]

  what do you plan to do with us Elias [TS]

  it's quite poetic really you have been [TS]

  tied to the walls of a pit [TS]

  yes we know but it's not so much a pit [TS]

  as a pool a pool soon to fill with [TS]

  molten gold a flat of molten gold [TS]

  pouring forth from yes you guessed it [TS]

  the simple SI pero antic diabolical is [TS]

  what it is [TS]

  don't worry Rudy I have a plan it was [TS]

  nice knowing you [TS]

  but now I must leave you to die you [TS]

  won't get away with this Lane of course [TS]

  he will [TS]

  i lo what can we possibly do these good [TS]

  cheer ready [TS]

  it's always darkest just before they [TS]

  turn on [TS]

  what is this going somewhere lies every [TS]

  girl you forgot RT Rudy Milo take my [TS]

  knife [TS]

  got it Cass you Marjorie problem folks [TS]

  don't know what are you doing [TS]

  that's poetic Elias we're gonna leave [TS]

  you tied up here and bring the sample [TS]

  back to civilization and don't worry [TS]

  I'll let the authorities know where to [TS]

  find you eventually [TS]

  now tell me where the sample is I'll [TS]

  never tell [TS]

  it must be huge mercury huge to flood [TS]

  the pool this size [TS]

  that's right you'll never get it out of [TS]

  here [TS]

  don't be silly it's right here that [TS]

  little thing why it's no bigger than a [TS]

  breadbox but remember it's been imbued [TS]

  with magic the old finish magics from [TS]

  the time before time pass your Marjorie [TS]

  Carter and job careful study of finish [TS]

  legend got it all right come on guys [TS]

  let's go [TS]

  you'll pay for this you'll pay dearly [TS]

  there that's the way back out what is [TS]

  that is was whistling as we left y con [TS]

  this way [TS]

  sounds like brain that's not right [TS]

  Milo [TS]

  Rudy [TS]

  what [TS]

  caribou herd of reindeer sure I've heard [TS]

  a reindeer accepted the Lions Den is [TS]

  guarded by a herd of specially trained [TS]

  killer reindeer without his whistle [TS]

  called into action [TS]

  oh he did say we paint dearly are you [TS]

  sure they really look more like caribou [TS]

  to me [TS]

  hush lad but often written Nosed [TS]

  Reindeer will Marjorie and her friends [TS]

  escape the Horde of trained killer right [TS]

  there [TS]

  well I slain escape to seek revenge will [TS]

  he even need to find out in the next [TS]

  exciting chapter reindeer in the doorway [TS]

  or sampled lang syne Marjorie cutter [TS]

  artist by trade adventurous by nature [TS]

  and now another Gotham cigarettes news [TS]

  roundup or man on the holiday seen Carl [TS]

  Phillips Dateline home in Indiana what [TS]

  was this boy thinking a fourth grader at [TS]

  warranty Harding elementary was rescued [TS]

  by firemen today after his tongue got [TS]

  stuck to a frozen flagpole in the [TS]

  schoolyard when asked how this could [TS]

  happen he responded with a half north [TS]

  it was a football doctor says the little [TS]

  bastard right [TS]

  dateline Moose Jaw Saskatchewan nothing [TS]

  of note to report the surprises no one [TS]

  dateline schenectady new york reports of [TS]

  a flying sleigh pulled by eight teddy [TS]

  seriously we're still doing this this is [TS]

  not news and I won't stand for it [TS]

  you people shouldn't stand for it either [TS]

  no touchy I don't care for live on the [TS]

  air [TS]

  I want you people to fly away to your [TS]

  windows girl like a flash tore open the [TS]

  shutters and threw up the sash and say [TS]

  I'm mad as hell and I want this has been [TS]

  the Gotham cigarettes news roundup [TS]

  remembers cocoa [TS]

  and now chock-full of coffee presents [TS]

  the fog [TS]

  the fog creeps in our little cat feet by [TS]

  day millionaire playboy Simeon st. Clair [TS]

  leads a life of luxury a devil-may-care [TS]

  existence most could only three month [TS]

  but by night he writes what others put [TS]

  wrong makes just the in just and clouds [TS]

  the minds of lesser man for he is before [TS]

  tonight's episode they shoot horses [TS]

  don't they [TS]

  the scene New Year's Eve in New York [TS]

  Harbor the setting the Royal Canadian [TS]

  Mounted cruise ship the Mackenzie King [TS]

  Simeon where are you [TS]

  blast that man Margo Drummond girl [TS]

  Friday to millionaire playboy Simeon st. [TS]

  player wonders the ballad deck looking [TS]

  for her boss between the heavy mist and [TS]

  the revelers she's not having much luck [TS]

  Simeon st. class so help me God if [TS]

  you're off with some two-bit floozy I [TS]

  big your pardon miss Drummond on this [TS]

  ship the floozies are at least eight [TS]

  bits [TS]

  excuse me mr. Waldman I was just it's [TS]

  quite alright i'm just teasing you call [TS]

  me Winston please [TS]

  now i don't know mr. will do that seems [TS]

  a little familiar just yet efficient [TS]

  Tosh miss Drummond fish and Tosh you [TS]

  wouldn't happen to know where simians [TS]

  gotten too would you [TS]

  I'm sorry miss Margo I haven't seen [TS]

  Simeon since the two of you came on [TS]

  board [TS]

  well wherever he is I'm sure he's in [TS]

  good company won't you join me for a [TS]

  drink up on the Klondike deck perhaps [TS]

  closer to midnight mr. world Newton but [TS]

  thank you [TS]

  I'm going to hold you too bad you know [TS]

  module instant Mademoiselle demands a [TS]

  new are Chantay what a delightful [TS]

  corsage [TS]

  merci beaucoup what exactly are those [TS]

  lilies not exactly [TS]

  meanwhile towards the aft section of the [TS]

  ship [TS]

  Simeon st. Clair is hard at work the [TS]

  notes that they came across separatists [TS]

  within the aft section of the [TS]

  moisturizer with this whole area is [TS]

  deserted [TS]

  maybe this is the right back I don't see [TS]

  any signage blasted weather [TS]

  who would have thought all these clouds [TS]

  will get in the way of [TS]

  of course there's a chance this could [TS]

  all be an elaborate trap because I still [TS]

  don't see what Canadian separatists [TS]

  would have to gain from an attack on New [TS]

  York Harbor who is this Alouette who [TS]

  sent that note anyway so many mysteries [TS]

  so little [TS]

  what's that John is whether I can't see [TS]

  my hand in front of my face [TS]

  what is that I smell flowers but how can [TS]

  that be [TS]

  what's that who's there Simeon is that [TS]

  you know Margo where are you see me and [TS]

  I can't see you with all this fog [TS]

  ironic isn't it so the never mind that [TS]

  now but what are you doing at this end [TS]

  of the ship disappeared [TS]

  one minute you were there the next yes [TS]

  well you know how these swanky shipboard [TS]

  parties go no Simeon not really [TS]

  oh yes well anyway you left me with no [TS]

  choice but to chat with that Winston [TS]

  world Newton again if I didn't know any [TS]

  better I'd think you were trying to fix [TS]

  me up with him [TS]

  Oh is a good man Margo a safe choice [TS]

  goodness knows he's well-connected [TS]

  saying you are trying to fix me up [TS]

  not at all Winston's like that with [TS]

  everyone [TS]

  it's how he stays connected [TS]

  this fog is bloody ridiculous we're in [TS]

  the blue blazes are you simian is that [TS]

  you and do you smell flowers [TS]

  I'm over here no over here and yes now [TS]

  that you mention it I do smell flowers [TS]

  is that I guess I wouldn't know I just [TS]

  thought it was odd in the middle of New [TS]

  York Harbor Vivian's it is odd isn't [TS]

  well here take my hand [TS]

  let me guide you to the stairs you [TS]

  should go back to the party and enjoy [TS]

  yourself [TS]

  hey you okay there you sound like you [TS]

  could use a lozenge whom i'm sorry i had [TS]

  a frog in my throat [TS]

  don't you mean yes yes I do know go I'll [TS]

  be right behind you you insist [TS]

  is that you reach for my hand Margo but [TS]

  I'm holding your hand already know [TS]

  that's not me hanging [TS]

  Margo what is it get your mitts off me [TS]

  done early [TS]

  Margo where are you Margo sweet dreams [TS]

  club [TS]

  brought to you by chock-full of coffee [TS]

  the coffee with that extra special [TS]

  secret ingredient [TS]

  more coffee that's right the mountain [TS]

  rich fresh packed freeze dried beans [TS]

  that we harvest for chuck full of coffee [TS]

  go through a special process we like to [TS]

  call caffeine naturalization this [TS]

  infuses every beam with the strength and [TS]

  purity of 10 beans hon you look beat [TS]

  what do you have I've been driving this [TS]

  check a classy you can on eight long and [TS]

  boy are my arms tired [TS]

  t no time to sleep little gotta get to [TS]

  the Maritimes by noon [TS]

  oh here how about a steaming hot cup of [TS]

  chocolate coffee [TS]

  holy cats lady that's some coffee [TS]

  that's not some coffee that's all the [TS]

  coffee a chock full of coffee for that [TS]

  wide awake feeling all day long and all [TS]

  night too and now return you to [TS]

  the fog [TS]

  oh my what is this I hear someone's [TS]

  gotta drop on me only I could get three [TS]

  of these ropes [TS]

  luckily my trench coat has a belt with a [TS]

  buckle on the back modified just a [TS]

  little now to cut myself loose before [TS]

  anyone notices there [TS]

  to do it to ship remember multi where [TS]

  have you gone [TS]

  I'm right behind you you are under my [TS]

  control now are you outright you sound a [TS]

  little else [TS]

  I'm fine I'm fine now who are you just [TS]

  wish I may have something and I brought [TS]

  you here to help [TS]

  what you need you also fuck no we I mean [TS]

  I know what you mean [TS]

  Alouette you said that note where I did [TS]

  do that thing there are easier ways of [TS]

  gettin my help and easier they may be [TS]

  but zero it's not be the chemical away [TS]

  besides I had to make it look for the [TS]

  others there there was much rejoicing [TS]

  when we captured the fog it was the [TS]

  easiest way to get you here on the [TS]

  inside [TS]

  fine fine let's cut through the [TS]

  exposition what's going on here i have [TS]

  infiltrated disintegrated League of [TS]

  floated Lee of course the cave across [TS]

  separatists so you're working undercover [TS]

  where Mr fuck i am but in officer of [TS]

  this silver take a pick how do you say [TS]

  copper copper so what exactly is the [TS]

  leader fluidly after every member of the [TS]

  league has sworn a note to give their [TS]

  life in pursuit of a southern Quebec mad [TS]

  this but the question remains what does [TS]

  that have to do with a party in new york [TS]

  harbor think miss you book a symbol of [TS]

  freedom a gift from the French people [TS]

  statue [TS]

  nature of Liberty as you might say it's [TS]

  been good [TS]

  come on Simeon I know you can hear this [TS]

  unless I miss my guess these pipes one [TS]

  away for the ship so maybe Simeon will [TS]

  hear me maybe someone else for all I [TS]

  know even be the fog [TS]

  well that's ironic cause not only knows [TS]

  who's brought me this could be world [TS]

  Newton's idea of a drink later maybe I [TS]

  should have gotten him right then and [TS]

  explained [TS]

  yeah well Joyce about fun of me [TS]

  I'm sorry what's that believe you and [TS]

  talk to pump [TS]

  I'm afraid I don't speak French video [TS]

  games or haha okay haha what's that I [TS]

  couldn't hear you can you move closer to [TS]

  ensure moreshow less available for lay [TS]

  there [TS]

  Frere Jacques you won't be needing this [TS]

  pistol anytime soon [TS]

  mmm is that iris sent again art now to [TS]

  find Simeon [TS]

  so you're saying the plan is to have [TS]

  members of the legal fluidly roaming the [TS]

  party until just before midnight and [TS]

  then they'll take the guess hostage [TS]

  where much of the kitchen step is in [TS]

  league with the league [TS]

  what is that concerned the unmistakable [TS]

  perfume of a dying iris blended with [TS]

  core tight sucker blooms play BM miss [TS]

  your fog [TS]

  why if it isn't floating as a new [TS]

  zealand ended nice corsage you know one [TS]

  another we have faced off once or twice [TS]

  in the past is that what's in master [TS]

  vengers are calling it these days [TS]

  so what brings you to the City of Lights [TS]

  silly man that is Paris this is a city [TS]

  it's full of lights [TS]

  you do the math what does the two of you [TS]

  talking about [TS]

  can't you guess machine knows that is [TS]

  why i asked I was not talking to you [TS]

  using my need mental abilities and [TS]

  judging from the wall of the economy of [TS]

  characters I'm going to get you at the [TS]

  top of the dreaded League fluidly once [TS]

  again they bein you always did have a [TS]

  fam grass of the Aristotelian unities is [TS]

  that what you call us [TS]

  I'm sorry in this conversation [TS]

  I am completely at sea have to see my [TS]

  friend just the Harvard and now Michelle [TS]

  I'm afraid it's time for the two of you [TS]

  to walk the plank [TS]

  not so fast she didn't anyone ever tell [TS]

  you you can't hold onto the FARC I beg [TS]

  to detail what do you think I was doing [TS]

  english dad looking for a cuckoo clock [TS]

  what is this are you flirting with their [TS]

  seriously female ablution severe and [TS]

  then they were to you know if they're [TS]

  we've got to shut meeting like this [TS]

  I told you over why did not really mean [TS]

  goodbye [TS]

  I never said far I no not until now [TS]

  why are you waving your hand in my face [TS]

  Mr Hammond over here [TS]

  what a pleasure to see you again oh gosh [TS]

  yeah that may have worked in Copenhagen [TS]

  wonderful wonderful Copenhagen but for [TS]

  me twice a frog's not the only one who [TS]

  creeps in on little cat feet level ama [TS]

  you heard the lady hands up [TS]

  I think you forget mr. Foggs that I do [TS]

  have a gun [TS]

  wait wait through tell your sins here to [TS]

  the pearl farm and no for once the [TS]

  deepening night [TS]

  what does that take that Frenchy I [TS]

  bientot quick mr. Amin grab a rope lucky [TS]

  cheer with another standard for what can [TS]

  i say the man like to write about fark [TS]

  why miss Margo what is going on out here [TS]

  why are you tying up Mademoiselle de [TS]

  meza new just helping the fog with hey [TS]

  where'd you go [TS]

  Margo Winston what's all this then the [TS]

  fog seems to have foiled a plot of some [TS]

  sort I think I know is this lady was [TS]

  holding a gun on the fog and his friend [TS]

  over here [TS]

  why this looks like the leader of the [TS]

  dreaded legal fleur-de-lis will want to [TS]

  secure below decks until we reach port I [TS]

  say good show old chap [TS]

  what's the fleur-de-lis the symbol of [TS]

  the province of quebec among other [TS]

  things and the name of an organization [TS]

  will stop at nothing nothing to see a [TS]

  separate sovereign quebec how do you [TS]

  know all that Simeon maybe a layabout [TS]

  millionaire playboy Margo but I do read [TS]

  the papers what are you what happened to [TS]

  you it where did you get that gun when I [TS]

  found you before that flowery scent got [TS]

  stronger and stronger the iris whatever [TS]

  it was [TS]

  next thing I knew there was a [TS]

  handkerchief over my nose and I was out [TS]

  the iris is one of the flowers that the [TS]

  fleur-de-lis can represent its essential [TS]

  oils also commonly used in sedatives I [TS]

  say and her corsage exactly i woke up [TS]

  below locked in an engine room of some [TS]

  sort i started tapping out an SOS on the [TS]

  pipes with my ring in case you were an [TS]

  earshot but i did hear that i recognized [TS]

  the SOS and then are you there [TS]

  cinnamon dash it all I've got to brush [TS]

  up on my Morse code [TS]

  well that sounds like a new year's [TS]

  resolution if ever I heard one [TS]

  happy new year Margo happy new year [TS]

  fuck a mutual production for the family [TS]

  quality network with dane barman as [TS]

  simian st. Clair I'll fairfield as Margo [TS]

  drug Melissa shane has florida- Len felt [TS]

  far as Winston walled newton and many [TS]

  lucado as Dobbs RS and introducing [TS]

  Frenchman brought to you by chock-full [TS]

  of coffee that coffee is coffee with the [TS]

  secret ingredient [TS]

  more coffee grill which will fight to [TS]

  the death of medical marijuana into the [TS]

  gorge growth our hero to my miraculous [TS]

  return alive and the schoolgirl episode [TS]

  of golden violence tools a mock time [TS]

  that aired six months before amok time [TS]

  was on the air [TS]

  I deposit to you that the producers of [TS]

  Star Trek saw that gilligan's island [TS]

  episode and said hey that's a great idea [TS]

  and they turned it into this thing that [TS]

  we think is this incredibly original [TS]

  story today [TS]

  turns out it's not it's a gilligan's [TS]

  island episode now I get emotional about [TS]

  this but i will i think is a good [TS]

  discussion want to thank my guests Scott [TS]

  McNulty it is the most we've ever heard [TS]

  you talking about the so thanks Scott [TS]

  tune in again next time when we have any [TS]

  sense [TS]

  and god bless us everyone [TS]