Roderick on the Line

◼   ► this episode of rock on the line is

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◼   ► [Music]

◼   ► hello hi John hi Marilyn

◼   ► how's it going mm come a little bit sick

◼   ► yeah you have a sore throat right yeah

◼   ► but now it's not a sort of wheaton oh

◼   ► the chocolate croissant

◼   ► okay he's gone dolorous i'm a little

◼   ► dollar at all don't be dolorous come on

◼   ► you know it's a little bit everything

◼   ► you know

◼   ► no no no no dollar oh I spy was up very

◼   ► late last night hmm

◼   ► it's a long story so the day before this

◼   ► is the place for a long story

◼   ► this is the home you look forward to

◼   ► this this is this is your eyes is your

◼   ► life raft

◼   ► it's a long story place pine em so I

◼   ► years ago when i moved into my house the

◼   ► people that had fixed it up

◼   ► I've talked about this they did it did a

◼   ► terrible job

◼   ► yeah maybe something they made some

◼   ► pretty weird decisions that did not have

◼   ► the long view in mind

◼   ► that's right yeah they didn't think to

◼   ► put in a monk hole but maybe some weird

◼   ► like recessed lighting or something like

◼   ► that

◼   ► there's no fireman's pole oh come on

◼   ► yeah how about your bookshelves mean

◼   ► when you move your bookshelf for you you

◼   ► pull back the head on your Shakespeare

◼   ► their switches is there anything that

◼   ► that affords you uh an unseen location

◼   ► in the house

◼   ► not a one how do not put that at the top

◼   ► of the way but that's not true there are

◼   ► two hidden doors but here's the thing if

◼   ► you're if you're gonna I mean if you're

◼   ► gonna make changes to your house you

◼   ► really should begin by making sure that

◼   ► you have cool hidden panels doorways and

◼   ► tunnels that it's not everything you do

◼   ► after that the wiring the plumbing where

◼   ► you put the new half bath it's all gonna

◼   ► be governed by where the corridors are

◼   ► because you got new corridors now Percy

◼   ► small huh

◼   ► when you that's one of the things that

◼   ► infuriates me the most about quantum of

◼   ► solace or whatever the fuck that movie

◼   ► was mr. my colon yeah where they've got

◼   ► their he's got this beautiful house in

◼   ► the middle of nowhere and he's got this

◼   ► amazing escape

◼   ► a tunnel next to the fireplace and it

◼   ► goes down in with this amazing warren of

◼   ► escape rooms and then its never fully

◼   ► covered in the movie but you go out a

◼   ► tunnel and then it just sort of appears

◼   ► in the yard and there's no like it

◼   ► because it's like a big field for ya

◼   ► easily spotted well that yeah right it

◼   ► doesn't go

◼   ► it just goes out into the septic field

◼   ► but also it's never clear in the movie

◼   ► like they never show the last hundred

◼   ► yards like you get down they there's a

◼   ► scene where they go down and then there

◼   ► in the very night the the what it looks

◼   ► like the basement

◼   ► yeah and then the next shot is a bit of

◼   ► a of them or him for poking his head up

◼   ► out of the grass like a like a good

◼   ► grass or is it a shed I might be

◼   ► completing this with another movie I

◼   ► don't think there's a shed I think he

◼   ► just pops up in the middle of the grass

◼   ► is really poorly thought out but there's

◼   ► no door or anything there's no you know

◼   ► that's a hundred yards or more 300 yards

◼   ► he's really out there in the yard right

◼   ► it's a long way to go and and my

◼   ► question is obviously is that whole is

◼   ► that whole distance like a like a stone

◼   ► lined quarter that you can stand up in

◼   ► and then you get to the end and they're

◼   ► just like a little it's like you push

◼   ► some grass a party it was like a matter

◼   ► of yes it feels like a metaphor you put

◼   ► all this care into the tunnel that

◼   ► didn't need to be that nice and the end

◼   ► we ended you could at least have like

◼   ► say like a look at you get Hogan's

◼   ► Heroes where where like the dog in the

◼   ► dog house goes up ahead

◼   ► Boop mi been labelled LeBeau see your

◼   ► god that's a really good point if you

◼   ► did it all go

◼   ► yeah or a well or a chapel or some other

◼   ► thing that you pop out you don't just

◼   ► pop out in the graph somewhere an easy

◼   ► shot

◼   ► yeah exactly you know the snipers

◼   ► pointed at the house all the sniper has

◼   ► to do is just turn hundred eighty

◼   ► degrees right

◼   ► anyway so that so my house was equipped

◼   ► with what is described at the hardware

◼   ► store as decorator switches which are

◼   ► switches light switches that are both

◼   ► ugly and unusable

◼   ► ok they don't look like white switches

◼   ► they look like something else and there

◼   ► they were dimmer switches just like the

◼   ► Stella we got the theater lighting

◼   ► effect

◼   ► mhm those are very satisfying hit no the

◼   ► world they don't the thing is these

◼   ► don't even have a clique because they

◼   ► are touch-sensitive yeah so you put your

◼   ► hand on it and you roll your fingers up

◼   ► at like you're on some kind of like

◼   ► you're playing an eighties keyboard and

◼   ► you have like a sensitivity string a

◼   ► four-dimensional switch

◼   ► yeah it's like it there but they don't

◼   ► work so you walk in the house and you're

◼   ► like lights on and the lights like they

◼   ► sometimes don't respond to your touch

◼   ► they sometimes respect you know they

◼   ► sometimes go all the way on and then all

◼   ► the way off immediately like a beautiful

◼   ► woman that's so frustrating jen well so

◼   ► when I first moved in I was like this

◼   ► will not stand and I took two of them

◼   ► out and i put in

◼   ► normal what what are they look like

◼   ► lights which is normal like looking

◼   ► switches but they are dimmers right so

◼   ► you move the little lever instead of

◼   ► going flick and the light is on you move

◼   ► the little lever and the light goes off

◼   ► i thought that was a good you know like

◼   ► a nice balance

◼   ► dimmers have their place and I found a

◼   ► thousand-watt switches which wow big

◼   ► switches at the time with these dinners

◼   ► on them and I put them in

◼   ► well the other day that was ten years

◼   ► ago when I bought this house the other

◼   ► day I walked in the kitchen i turned the

◼   ► dimmer down almost all the way to the

◼   ► bottom and the switch went

◼   ► oh no and I was like 20 no so I set

◼   ► their monkey with it

◼   ► can I get it to do it again you know

◼   ► that's the number one thing you do when

◼   ► you get to replicate the air

◼   ► yeah and yes you can get it to do it

◼   ► again

◼   ► in fact it every time now and so and

◼   ► then the room smelled with the smell of

◼   ► smoke like that smell in the nineteen

◼   ► seventies when you put too much ice in a

◼   ► blender boy

◼   ► oh you get there look at that engine

◼   ► working hard smell I don't like that so

◼   ► no it's bad it's really bad when it's

◼   ► coming from your light switches yes so I

◼   ► said this is a bad this is particularly

◼   ► bad because the dimmer is the thing that

◼   ► you're gonna you're gonna put all the

◼   ► way down and somebody's going to do it

◼   ► and walk away and this thing is going to

◼   ► be sitting there shorting that's going

◼   ► to start firing the wall so I was like I

◼   ► gotta do something about this

◼   ► immediately i'm sick i don't want to do

◼   ► anything it's cold i went to the

◼   ► hardware store they don't sell thousand

◼   ► watts which is anymore

◼   ► the guy at the hardware store was like

◼   ► what there's never been such a thing as

◼   ► they always do at a hardware store where

◼   ► did you get these alternate fax them

◼   ► that's right and I'm like I bottom here

◼   ► at this very hardware store 10 years ago

◼   ► oh wow 10 years ago

◼   ► yeah 10 years itself what's the life

◼   ► expectancy on these things if this look

◼   ► at me and can remember things I

◼   ► supposedly but yeah yeah that's right

◼   ► i'm mr. 10 years ago

◼   ► ok anyway so i bought some new switches

◼   ► and then I figured you know what I'm

◼   ► just gonna change all the switches in

◼   ► the house because that's the kind of

◼   ► thinker i am well you're thinking big

◼   ► big scale here it is

◼   ► BYE MOM mass so i bought a bunch of

◼   ► switches and then I'm sitting in the

◼   ► house to change in all these switches

◼   ► and I'm a little bit of a you know I'm

◼   ► little lackadaisical so so I'm i made an

◼   ► error one point and I caused because

◼   ► some parking

◼   ► no it's not good so I'm sorry I should

◼   ► have asked you this earlier there's all

◼   ► kinds of things in my house that I keep

◼   ► meaning to fix and a lot of my put off

◼   ► because they only got to shut off the

◼   ► power before i do anything that is your

◼   ► power off while your monkey in with the

◼   ► the arcing switches yeah the powers off

◼   ► but I turned I went down like I had I

◼   ► had things wired and I was like I should

◼   ► go down turn power on and test that

◼   ► everything works but I hadn't zip them

◼   ► back i hadn't slipped them all back into

◼   ► the wall and a couple of things were

◼   ► hanging out of the wall and they touched

◼   ► one another and ground themselves out

◼   ► stupid rookie mistake but in the course

◼   ► of it I'll i fried one of my new parts

◼   ► so i had to go back to the part where

◼   ► store God dignity is one of these days I

◼   ► mean I didn't have to tell them what I

◼   ► done but it was just like oh yeah it

◼   ► turns out i need another one of these

◼   ► yeah i was so good this one more of them

◼   ► exactly

◼   ► yeah so I got them all in the house it

◼   ► works a lot better I / 10 years I've

◼   ► been living with these switches that I

◼   ► just hated everybody hated them

◼   ► it was like coming into my house and

◼   ► turning on the lights was not just an

◼   ► intelligence test but it was an

◼   ► intelligence test that you that give you

◼   ► a different route result every time a

◼   ► madness

◼   ► yeah so people would come in and maybe

◼   ► you know they reach out to the light

◼   ► switch I think a lot a lot of the people

◼   ► that would you know guests in my home

◼   ► would just leave the lights off because

◼   ► they didn't wanna they didn't even want

◼   ► to deal with the interface but now I

◼   ► have normal-looking switches that do

◼   ► normal replicable things nothing

◼   ► shorting out but in the process of

◼   ► fixing this

◼   ► I had the doors of the house open both

◼   ► front and back door because i'm running

◼   ► in and out

◼   ► and then a late at night because I i'm

◼   ► up late right now these days

◼   ► oh I'm lying in bed and a mouse runs by

◼   ► oh no i've never had a mouse in my hand

◼   ► it's cold outside right now it's cold

◼   ► outside so the mouse says I come in here

◼   ► mhm left the back door open and the

◼   ► mouse is like super cool and so I've

◼   ► just I've just created a whole other

◼   ► problem never had a map I mean you know

◼   ► there's mice and then there's my

◼   ► surround these toys in the attic

◼   ► yeah but I never a mouse in the house so

◼   ► now now I've got like hopefully a mouse

◼   ► it's probably our mouse bounty and grace

◼   ► probably a ranger and explorer you know

◼   ► he said some sense of boys out to go

◼   ► like check things out this is good place

◼   ► to have some ice and ice

◼   ► mhm get in there check it out come back

◼   ► and tell us and then I closed the door

◼   ► and he was like huh who

◼   ► but I you know I mean a mouse can get a

◼   ► mouse can get out

◼   ► so you're already up late already might

◼   ► have liked but didn't either the mouse

◼   ► kind of compounded the yeah i'm laying

◼   ► around and thinking about this mouse

◼   ► instead of instead of sleeping anyway so

◼   ► that's where i'm at that God is still in

◼   ► there as far as you know as well yeah I

◼   ► mean I didn't tell him to leave

◼   ► yeah i think i have to dispatch him

◼   ► yeah I I don't like the trend Beyonce if

◼   ► I had my druthers I would even have

◼   ► power windows in a car because in my

◼   ► head I know this is 30 40 year old

◼   ► information but power windows to me

◼   ► where we met and talked about this what

◼   ► if you go into a river was going to a

◼   ► river shirt need now you need a special

◼   ► tool to not die in a car

◼   ► yeah you need the window breaking to it

◼   ► makes it makes the doors very heavy

◼   ► because you have to have an engine

◼   ► another you have to have and in engines

◼   ► in your doors to make the windows go up

◼   ► and down engines on your door engines in

◼   ► the doors and I

◼   ► aim not loving that also you know it's

◼   ► another one of these things in this this

◼   ► was before cars got good they're all

◼   ► these problems were like the rich guy

◼   ► stuff that you would put in a rich guy

◼   ► car

◼   ► we're all pretty consistently the stuff

◼   ► that broke first yep it's so like if you

◼   ► have an AC delco am/fm radio in your GM

◼   ► car you know if you still have that car

◼   ► I better than one part that still works

◼   ► is the am FM radio with the chunk

◼   ► buttons on any blow it out to program it

◼   ► and program it

◼   ► fuck you you're pulling out to set it

◼   ► chunk chunk you listen to Q 105 it Tunes

◼   ► perfectly flawlessly every time that

◼   ► doesn't sound great but you know what

◼   ► you're 50 year old radios probably still

◼   ► working fine

◼   ► the at least one window on a car would

◼   ► usually break it was still be heavy but

◼   ► now you didn't have a window that worked

◼   ► yeah you know all that kind of stuff

◼   ► used to just like even to this day like

◼   ► our last car we had had manual windows

◼   ► we had the least costly version of our

◼   ► particular model of car that was

◼   ► available and it was fine

◼   ► yeah it was totally fine but then you

◼   ► get into your house and their stuff but

◼   ► there's a trick it's keeped I don't like

◼   ► the stuff where it's cute to turn a

◼   ► light on or off

◼   ► you don't have a you don't have a nest I

◼   ► don't have a nest my house is too old

◼   ► for nest i do have a lot of smart lights

◼   ► i won't take you down this particular k

◼   ► hole but IMA heartlight yeah we could

◼   ► get into it

◼   ► we're just just like let's not go all

◼   ► the way down the k-hole let's just dip

◼   ► into the cable duct tape a little

◼   ► alright what is a smart like I just want

◼   ► to get I want to get one thing out cuz

◼   ► it's on my mind I'm gonna get because

◼   ► you have two bits of related stuff here

◼   ► that are totally unrelated and yet

◼   ► completely related imma let you finish

◼   ► thank you thank you up your Kanye in

◼   ► that case that was economy around we

◼   ► struggle with mornings sometimes

◼   ► oh yes I don't think we are unique in

◼   ► this regard we struggled with a

◼   ► multivariate struggle with mornings

◼   ► there are many small things about

◼   ► mornings they're difficult the primary

◼   ► driver of a morning being tough is that

◼   ► we have a kid who has to be at school at

◼   ► a certain time and ideally she will have

◼   ► food with her

◼   ► ok for lunch she has to have homework in

◼   ► the backpack

◼   ► she has to not have like hermione

◼   ► granger hair like she's got like look

◼   ► presentable she's got to be clean

◼   ► she has to have brush teeth and I'm

◼   ► sorry I'm gonna bring it up again she's

◼   ► got it she's got your shoes

◼   ► there's a lot to do it sounds like well

◼   ► you know an hour she like it would be

◼   ► enough time but I don't know if you

◼   ► struggle with this shoot socks and shoes

◼   ► are where it all falls apart

◼   ► ok I feel like again I I'm okay I'm just

◼   ► gonna say this i really feel like the

◼   ► whole thing needed to move to earlier

◼   ► all adjustments we need to add 20 to 30

◼   ► minutes in front of everything because

◼   ► as a retired project manager I'm sure to

◼   ► tell you there are many things that are

◼   ► not being accounted for and there are

◼   ► enough things that aren't accounted for

◼   ► that by the time you get the shoes and

◼   ► socks everyone's crying so you're saying

◼   ► you need to wake up a half hour earlier

◼   ► lots we've done we've got a whole thing

◼   ► this is relates to to your light switch

◼   ► problem and then I'm about to make an

◼   ► analogy about my child being like a

◼   ► theater lighting light switch but also

◼   ► to do is sleep because i started going

◼   ► to bed earlier in order to get up

◼   ► earlier in order to be more helpful in

◼   ► the morning and to not just be the

◼   ► person assistant whatever you know you

◼   ► guys should really do this earlier like

◼   ► how much you fucking help out so I'm

◼   ► trying to help out more

◼   ► earlier to cascading chain and I feel

◼   ► like I'm gonna see I'm the only one that

◼   ► understands this but i feel like if i

◼   ► have this knowledge in my bones in a way

◼   ► that my daughter does not which is that

◼   ► like if you don't go to bed earlier if

◼   ► you keep reading Lemony Snicket until

◼   ► ten o'clock like god bless you how do

◼   ► you tell you to stop reading

◼   ► I mean how do you tell you to stop

◼   ► reading Lemony Snicket and you know yeah

◼   ► absolutely it's you know it that's my

◼   ► dream my I you know I'm I I wouldn't get

◼   ► fuck all with how it turned out if she's

◼   ► healthy great if she learns to like

◼   ► music and likes reading i'm done i'm

◼   ► ready to retire but that's all i care

◼   ► about is wanting to read it's like a one

◼   ► of my very few like super selfish things

◼   ► is I hope my kid likes to read and

◼   ► that's all she likes to do is read which

◼   ► is great so you know I don't be that guy

◼   ► but if you go to bed at ten and you're

◼   ► gonna be getting up at six anymore

◼   ► because you're a kid and you need more

◼   ► sleep and it means you get up and you're

◼   ► tired and now the toast is getting

◼   ► pushed out later the toast pushes out

◼   ► the reading because she's got read in

◼   ► the morning before school she pushes

◼   ► that out and we're pushing pushing

◼   ► pushing pushing said

◼   ► these four minutes until like we're at

◼   ► the drop-dead leave the house time and

◼   ► that's when the hair brushing and

◼   ► toothbrush because now comes the tears

◼   ► and as I said to her today I've been

◼   ► cleverly put clock on her

◼   ► I'm better we gave her a watch i

◼   ► purchased three new clocks for the house

◼   ► because it's going to be all about

◼   ► clocks you know i'm i'm turning into

◼   ► kind of a martinet about this clocks and

◼   ► watches clocks and watches and so I said

◼   ► to her I says I say look you know it's

◼   ► mom and I are here to be your helpful

◼   ► assistance but a point you need to

◼   ► become more cognizant about how the time

◼   ► works

◼   ► yeah it sounds like the the mornings in

◼   ► your house we're going to be like the

◼   ► beginning of a pink floyd song and not

◼   ► now look at it and now i'm going crazy

◼   ► person because i'm running around going

◼   ► okay guess what time it is right now

◼   ► because I on 705 lat 712 means you need

◼   ► to be out the door with shoes and socks

◼   ► on

◼   ► you know in this many minutes yeah

◼   ► you're seven minutes behind already so

◼   ► i'm already a crazy person on the other

◼   ► one thing is over and it's up against is

◼   ► 728 worried about 720 more here come

◼   ► more tears and so we had a we had a so

◼   ► we've recently implemented something new

◼   ► which is everybody tries to go to bed

◼   ► earlier everybody gets up earlier dad's

◼   ► helping more in the morning which I'm

◼   ► happy to do I mean happy to do but which

◼   ► I think it's important to do but now

◼   ► we've gotten into this thing where like

◼   ► now I'm doing post mortem suppose morta

◼   ► with her oh wow you're you're talking

◼   ► about talking about it after school now

◼   ► oh no this is like this is like this is

◼   ► like what went wrong with the with the

◼   ► mercury launch like everything ok with

◼   ► going to school or do you do it like we

◼   ► have like eight hours later the insane

◼   ► part is like you know we she has friends

◼   ► who live outside of town that like it

◼   ► takes them 20 25 minutes without saying

◼   ► too much i will just say that we are

◼   ► very close to our daughter school we can

◼   ► walk there at a pace that will not have

◼   ► us out of breath in less than 10 minutes

◼   ► it's manic there's no reason to ever be

◼   ► late for school but because it takes so

◼   ► little time to walk to school you can

◼   ► guess what happens

◼   ► sure you push it to the limit you get a

◼   ► little loosey-goosey ok so here's me

◼   ► this morning this is my mercury mercury

◼   ► of this morning with my daughter I said

◼   ► you know what we didn't count for I said

◼   ► we didn't account for socks and that's

◼   ► how we lost yesterday we were out at

◼   ► seven-thirty to it

◼   ► 730 now everything is the Sox the

◼   ► difference between seven-thirty and 732

◼   ► is all the difference in the world did

◼   ► you get that first but you didn't get

◼   ► out and we got the new program we're not

◼   ► getting out for not out at seven-thirty

◼   ► we have failed mercury is down

◼   ► yeah okay this is the you know we went

◼   ► and saw the hidden figures we both love

◼   ► this movie so you know we're talking a

◼   ► lot about john kennedy and astronauts

◼   ► and stuff and anyway everything every

◼   ► family should talk about that especially

◼   ► in the morning so today I felt kind of

◼   ► predict this morning but I was really

◼   ► like i was i was really heavy on the

◼   ► clock she's got a new watch on showing

◼   ► how the lightworks can get very excited

◼   ► to wear watch the school and and so you

◼   ► know i'm walking around in my underpants

◼   ► yeah but how many minutes after seven if

◼   ► it so on the one hand i'm really tired

◼   ► cuz i got five hours of sleep because

◼   ► the new program is slow to launch but

◼   ► here's the other thing about your lights

◼   ► which is that the difference between a

◼   ► traditional light switch and what you

◼   ► had in your house is the difference

◼   ► between your life before a child and

◼   ► your life with a child it used to be you

◼   ► could say for no particular reason i

◼   ► feel it's it's 1152 p.m. and i feel like

◼   ► walking to a light post five blocks from

◼   ► here

◼   ► whatever that matter you won't leave the

◼   ► house you leave the house

◼   ► sure if you want to pour a bucket of

◼   ► Gatorade on your head you can just go do

◼   ► that right now belong you just you just

◼   ► you grab your keys in your wallet you

◼   ► may be put on some pants bathrobe you

◼   ► walk out and you just go and you you're

◼   ► going to come anytime you feel like it

◼   ► you just you just move around and then

◼   ► you get to be like John's light switch

◼   ► where it's like I honestly don't know I

◼   ► cannot tell you within Swiss certainty i

◼   ► can tell you within certainty more than

◼   ► plus or minus 20 minutes when we will be

◼   ► able to do anything because there are so

◼   ► many unknown factors and when you're

◼   ► running your goddamn finger along that

◼   ► lady light switch and try to make it

◼   ► light up

◼   ► same thing the same feeling in this case

◼   ► we didn't account for socks

◼   ► you should not have to deliberate about

◼   ► how long it will take for your lights to

◼   ► come on I've accepted my happy lot in

◼   ► life is that I have to account for socks

◼   ► and minutes but you do kinda pine for

◼   ► the days when you could just walk to a

◼   ► light post

◼   ► well I have my way of dealing with this

◼   ► Merlin is a very simple hack that i've

◼   ► been using my whole life which is that

◼   ► every clock in my house is 11 minutes

◼   ► fast but who who was that Vince Lombardi

◼   ► did that right already famously set all

◼   ► of his clocks and watches 15 minutes

◼   ► fast

◼   ► well 15 minutes is too easy because you

◼   ► used to be a prime number

◼   ► yeah you get a job at 15 minutes but 11

◼   ► minutes you forget that it's there 11

◼   ► minutes is just this like number that's

◼   ► very hard for people to throw to just be

◼   ► like oh it's burp

◼   ► oh you know roundup you round up way too

◼   ► easy yeah so a and you know and I change

◼   ► the amount that the clocks are off at

◼   ► this was going to be my hack on your

◼   ► hack yeah the way that really work is

◼   ► they're all fast but they're all fast a

◼   ► little different yeah and some sometimes

◼   ► at seven sometimes it's 12 and if you

◼   ► don't have mpr on you're not going to

◼   ► know when they're wrong

◼   ► that's right you and your screws the

◼   ► whole thing out we'll see and I don't

◼   ► have a PR hmm and so everybody's just

◼   ► looking at clocks and I'm and I just I

◼   ► just take the clock at its word and

◼   ► generally were in the car driving and i

◼   ► passed some some clock that a business

◼   ► has thoughtfully put up starts visible

◼   ► from the freeway

◼   ► yeah I'm like whoa we are plenty of

◼   ► times but i feel myself every morning

◼   ► it's like every morning I go Oh check it

◼   ► out again I never I never remember it

◼   ► because I intentionally don't remember

◼   ► it but if she's wearing a watch to

◼   ► school now

◼   ► now you've given her some kind of like

◼   ► connection that she can take into the

◼   ► world right watch can't be wrong but

◼   ► she's going to be measuring it against

◼   ► the school of washer

◼   ► yeah that's true she's not going to sit

◼   ► there in the house and be like oh I

◼   ► believe the house clocks she's gonna go

◼   ► rain watch

◼   ► oh there's one thing about this watch

◼   ► though oh my god this is not a precision

◼   ► timepieces John this is something I got

◼   ► off amazon for thirteen dollars and you

◼   ► know it's amazing what kind of watching

◼   ► it for thirteen dollars for a kid today

◼   ► but there is first of all like all

◼   ► most all digital that's an analog and

◼   ► digital watch

◼   ► it's got like it's a chronograph like

◼   ► many of these you get the modal buttons

◼   ► for setting things and there's many

◼   ► things to set you ready for this though

◼   ► I'm not even like a super OCD guy but

◼   ► this this is already driving both of us

◼   ► nuts like one hour and having this watch

◼   ► this is driving her nuts which is the

◼   ► the you set the time on the analog and

◼   ► the digital separately so gentle and

◼   ► neither of them is necessarily correct

◼   ► your they're both manually set so you

◼   ► get the watch and take out the box you

◼   ► put it on you say okay what time is it

◼   ► 718 okay well you set the the analog 2

◼   ► 718 well and then you gotta go and set

◼   ► the digital by the time you set the

◼   ► digital the 718 its already seven

◼   ► nineteen and then sweep second hand is

◼   ► not matching up with the second you

◼   ► gotta do this separately so the whole

◼   ► time she points out this morning the

◼   ► second hands aren't the same on these

◼   ► and I don't know what to say

◼   ► I think it's a $13 chronograph it's not

◼   ► it's not it's not a it's not a Rolex but

◼   ► that would drive me nuts all day at

◼   ► school I'd be looking at the second hand

◼   ► on the clock

◼   ► the second-hand sweep second hand on the

◼   ► watch I be looking at the digital

◼   ► seconds and I'd be thinking what fresh

◼   ► hell is this

◼   ► yeah what time is it really John there's

◼   ► a clock that i bought for one of the

◼   ► rooms of the house that i liked the look

◼   ► of it you know it looked like one of

◼   ► those old-fashioned diner clocks I would

◼   ► kill for that has been banned from our

◼   ► house and I want one so much why is it

◼   ► ain't tex oh my goodness the aesthetics

◼   ► are unbeautiful I have so much to say

◼   ► about the see this is one last thing

◼   ► about this because this is this is only

◼   ► for us notice must never get back to my

◼   ► house

◼   ► okay i have pointed out to my partner

◼   ► that we need to have a clock in the area

◼   ► where the drama begins having clocks in

◼   ► other places has not been working there

◼   ► needs to be a clock in our face at the

◼   ► place where the tears happen now my

◼   ► preference for that would be to get a

◼   ► diner clock like an old-school kitchen

◼   ► clock a school clock you put it here by

◼   ► the pictures in the hallway but you know

◼   ► what i understand that is not

◼   ► aesthetically pleasing

◼   ► I would i want the largest conceivable

◼   ► clock that will fit in that area

◼   ► and I wanted to hang over my daughter

◼   ► like the dark mark III want this to be

◼   ► something she cannot avoid seeing now

◼   ► I'm capitulating buying three about

◼   ► three different clocks from this one and

◼   ► I'm gonna let my wife pick which one she

◼   ► thinks is his least odious but she she

◼   ► has strong opinions about the about the

◼   ► vibe that a clock in parts to a room

◼   ► yeah that she's right if we put it next

◼   ► to all the framed pictures of people

◼   ► it's gonna look weird but always got

◼   ► lots of pictures of the family like it's

◼   ► a nice little area that's very homey and

◼   ► I'm trying to turn it into like a

◼   ► commissary or something by putting a

◼   ► giant clock on the wall and I get why

◼   ► she doesn't want to do that when I just

◼   ► feel like I feel like we need something

◼   ► we need a very large very intimidating

◼   ► tik-tok actually literally makes the

◼   ► noise tick tock clock

◼   ► well here's what's crazy about this one

◼   ► that i bought yeah i bought it i brought

◼   ► it home and I I and I knew when I got it

◼   ► that it was not I could go down to the

◼   ► salvage yard and find some clock from an

◼   ► old school and and should have done but

◼   ► I was at some you know is that some

◼   ► store and I saw this thing and I'm

◼   ► excuse me and it was not expensive and i

◼   ► said yeah you know throw a couple of

◼   ► dollars at this great brought it home

◼   ► and there was a sin it's battery-powered

◼   ► and there was a separate battery for the

◼   ► little hand

◼   ► whoa that was like very very troubling

◼   ► to me

◼   ► well you absolutely right is a lot of

◼   ► reasons that bothers me

◼   ► well here's the number one reason the

◼   ► only reason really is that the operation

◼   ► of the little hand does not bear on my

◼   ► keeping God you have two clocks and

◼   ► neither of them may be right

◼   ► so that's a recipe for madness yeah the

◼   ► little hand is just he's been around

◼   ► these artisans are some seconds mostly

◼   ► yeah this is what second look like but

◼   ► the clock itself is like tick tick like

◼   ► it's just on its own and I'm and I so

◼   ► every time I look at the clock I'm like

◼   ► he's so weird

◼   ► mmm this is you are living a lie clock

◼   ► and but I'm kind of you know i like them

◼   ► like what it does to the room it really

◼   ► ties the room together you able to put

◼   ► it out of your mind that did you have to

◼   ► clock in a clock because the clock is in

◼   ► an adjacent space it's not a regular

◼   ► space i don't i don't refer to this

◼   ► clock the clock is visible from the

◼   ► guest bed so it's really a o'clock for

◼   ► the benefit of guests and i'm already

◼   ► fucking with them because it's 11

◼   ► minutes fast so the second is sort of

◼   ► rounding on a second and it's just like

◼   ► if you want to if you're taking your own

◼   ► blood pressure like it is keeping the

◼   ► second would be pretty funny if you

◼   ► changed it like not to wear a minute is

◼   ► 90 seconds but you know be great if you

◼   ► change it to wear a minute was like 47

◼   ► so when that wouldn't that make you feel

◼   ► like a crazy person

◼   ► yeah that's it is running faster than it

◼   ► should

◼   ► but it wasn't affecting the time and

◼   ► what I imagine is that you're lying

◼   ► there in bed and if you're if you like I

◼   ► would be the type of person that would

◼   ► lay in bed and watch the little head go

◼   ► around em but then the big hand ticks

◼   ► off another minute but the little hand

◼   ► is at like 40 seconds

◼   ► oh my god and be like what what what

◼   ► whoa what just happened

◼   ► oh my god and then it did it repeatedly

◼   ► told her you would yeah you really doubt

◼   ► you talk about gaslighting that's like a

◼   ► black mirrors a choice

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◼   ► so so and I have you know I have the

◼   ► clocks on the stove and the clocks on

◼   ► the microwave and those two because

◼   ► they're right next to each other i'll

◼   ► set the time on one and then I will sit

◼   ► with my finger poised over the other

◼   ► it'sit's in this this is an art because

◼   ► i do not want them to be even four

◼   ► seconds separated and I wait I wait I

◼   ► swim that whole minute watching this pot

◼   ► boil

◼   ► uh-huh and then but I you know I try and

◼   ► just nail it with the other one because

◼   ► i want those things to be and that's

◼   ► irrelevant and I don't want anything I

◼   ► think the fact that everybody has and I

◼   ► mostly exactly correct clock on their

◼   ► phone

◼   ► yeah it's that is interesting to me

◼   ► because I mean that is not going to be

◼   ► fair that's canonical source of time I

◼   ► give you know what time it is look at

◼   ► your phone because your phone is

◼   ► actually you know first of all it's a

◼   ► really good time piece like better than

◼   ► most of us could afford on our wrists I

◼   ► imagine and it is you know getting the

◼   ► weather the nuclear time update but i

◼   ► but i don't think people think about

◼   ► this or sweat this stuff as much as our

◼   ► generation did I think about the clocks

◼   ► we had in my elementary school and man I

◼   ► mean the clocks in our school they had a

◼   ► sweep second hand and first of all they

◼   ► were all every clock in the school which

◼   ► can be set remotely every clock in the

◼   ► school was always egg exactly right

◼   ► yeah and what if it was a bell that rang

◼   ► at 1pm it did not start to ring until

◼   ► the clock turned to one o'clock and it

◼   ► did not turn to one o'clock until the

◼   ► second hand shop which one like this

◼   ► talk and talk

◼   ► haha

◼   ► talk until that went from 59

◼   ► 212like it was not every single clock

◼   ► was exactly

◼   ► flawlessly perfect all the time in every

◼   ► room all the time and if it wasn't it

◼   ► would have been really troubling do you

◼   ► remember the last day of eighth grade

◼   ► with was your was your junior high

◼   ► through ninth grader was it did end at

◼   ► 80 so seven eight nine ten to twelve oh

◼   ► my god I don't even know what it's like

◼   ► to be one of us junior high and then you

◼   ► have middle school 628 no we didn't have

◼   ► middle school junior high was 78 that's

◼   ► so strange sixth grade was the last

◼   ► grade of elementary spanish is he should

◼   ► be as Shannon 78 @ men 9th grade was

◼   ► freshman in high school as it should be

◼   ► it's certainly the way Europe makes you

◼   ► put your dog in a kennel for like a year

◼   ► alright what is see also cutting trail

◼   ► like it really that's the two years

◼   ► that's a containment facility it really

◼   ► is it really is you are because when

◼   ► your sixth grader you're like nah gah

◼   ► athl pow pow

◼   ► hi you know when the and write about

◼   ► sixth-graders when the girls start to

◼   ► say like um I do you want to go with me

◼   ► who's going with who

◼   ► yeah oh he's going with her all the

◼   ► goings going to say that going with

◼   ► years and I was like damn her tell you

◼   ► the first time a girl said the girl came

◼   ► up to me because a lot of it isn't do

◼   ► you want to go with me

◼   ► it is do you want to go with her

◼   ► oh yeah you get proxies yeah i'm here as

◼   ► an intermediary who and it was like a

◼   ► small group of girls that approached me

◼   ► on the playground and said let's call

◼   ► her Stacey because that's a name from my

◼   ► nice interactions risk name but do you

◼   ► want to go out do you want to go with

◼   ► stealing girls with a sec do you want to

◼   ► go with Stacy and I was such a child I

◼   ► was like go where and they wrote the

◼   ► collectively rolled their eyes and I

◼   ► yeah just sighed at me and I was like

◼   ► what what what have I done what did i do

◼   ► and even by saying that dumb thing I had

◼   ► sort of like blown my chances with

◼   ► Stacey no but that's not all you can out

◼   ► of yourself as a look because I was like

◼   ► you know I stopped for one second

◼   ► playing like time temp travelers like

◼   ► time traveler space ninja like what go

◼   ► with the red why would I want to go with

◼   ► her but that was also the year that i

◼   ► sat at the Arctic roadrunner

◼   ► oh my god this was the worst moment of

◼   ► my life I so we were doing some kind of

◼   ► theater show and it was me and another

◼   ► friend of mine and Lori basler alright

◼   ► some other species again and the four of

◼   ► us went to the Arctic Road Runner which

◼   ► was the hamburger place that was around

◼   ► the corner from my elementary school

◼   ► which was northstar elementary that

◼   ► you'll notice you'll begin to pick up a

◼   ► theme that everything in Alaska is named

◼   ► after Alaska so get northstar

◼   ► Elementary's telling Los Angeles that's

◼   ► right yeah it's except yeah in Los

◼   ► Angeles every every name of everything

◼   ► is something you've already heard a

◼   ► thousand times from the movies

◼   ► yeah okay like whoa melrose I know what

◼   ► that is

◼   ► no you don't you just know it from a TV

◼   ► show but the Arctic roadrunner used to

◼   ► only have one location which was on

◼   ► Arctic Boulevard and then they had

◼   ► another location but I thought I found

◼   ► that second location to be non-canonical

◼   ► ok but I went to the Arctic roadrunner

◼   ► with my friend and Lori basler and her

◼   ► friend and this was a very unusual

◼   ► situation we were off campus during

◼   ► school getting a hamburger that we were

◼   ► paying for with our own money

◼   ► it was like a big deal

◼   ► it felt like a scene from Greece and we

◼   ► and I got my hamburger first

◼   ► and I went over to the booze and it's an

◼   ► Arctic rotor is a hamburger joint from

◼   ► the fifties and it looks like the

◼   ► nineteen fifties I walked over and

◼   ► they're here was the booth

◼   ► and I said oh shit what do i do if i sit

◼   ► on one side I won't see what I want is

◼   ► Lori bachelor sit next to me but I'm

◼   ► gonna sit on one side and then tell my

◼   ► friend to sit next to me and or I'm

◼   ► gonna tell my friend to sit across and

◼   ► then that and I just I wasn't sure

◼   ► exactly what to do and i sat down in a

◼   ► booth and my friend sat across from me

◼   ► and I was like okay let's run through

◼   ► scenarios you're doing like between

◼   ► chess

◼   ► yeah i'm just like how is this gonna

◼   ► play out and then Lori and her friend

◼   ► came and sat in a separate booth

◼   ► together see and I was like what no

◼   ► that's not

◼   ► we're all together with all special

◼   ► arrangements the screws up my right now

◼   ► you can't go on a separate car

◼   ► Tom can you get me off the Sally and so

◼   ► so it was like the whole thing was

◼   ► screwed up and I I mean the only worse

◼   ► scenario would have been that Lori sat

◼   ► next to my friend and her prince that

◼   ► next to me and that's not what happened

◼   ► so it ended up remaining neutral but boy

◼   ► there was a lot of tension there and

◼   ► that is sixth grade to me by the time

◼   ► seventh-grade rolled around people were

◼   ► smoking cigarettes and and getting drunk

◼   ► before school

◼   ► nacho cheese oh my god this is such as

◼   ► such a narrow aperture yeah that's

◼   ► Alaska but the last day of eighth grade

◼   ► I remember sitting in class and spring

◼   ► in Alaska is one of the great seasons of

◼   ► the world it's the season of the witch

◼   ► alright because spring is just like it

◼   ► winter is so awful and breakup is so

◼   ► awful that when full spring arrives

◼   ► everything blooms it's beautiful out you

◼   ► know the by June this

◼   ► the sun is up in the sky for a long time

◼   ► during the day like it's like Sun Goes

◼   ► Down it ten you know it's it's wonderful

◼   ► and you're still trapped in school it's

◼   ► in

◼   ► it's just crazy making the last day of

◼   ► great i still remember watching that

◼   ► little hand

◼   ► tick-tick-tick as it went around and and

◼   ► you know here it comes like it's where

◼   ► one minute out and just watching the

◼   ► teachers to like well summer blah i want

◼   ► you to read this and then just pick and

◼   ► that it hit that Bell and it was like

◼   ► the the ceiling lifted off the world you

◼   ► know I because i was done well done with

◼   ► junior high

◼   ► in addition what you know I was out of

◼   ► this nightmare and I was basically

◼   ► headed to college which was ninth grade

◼   ► which I you know which everyone all

◼   ► through junior high is preparing you for

◼   ► ninth grade like well you know and I

◼   ► don't feel like it anymore

◼   ► that's right when you get over their

◼   ► high school like look out you can't

◼   ► can't keep playing around with food and

◼   ► in it you know i began what would

◼   ► effectively be the last true summer of

◼   ► my childhood and it was all staring at

◼   ► that you that clock that represented the

◼   ► uniformity of school the same clock that

◼   ► had been in every classroom from the

◼   ► time I was in kindergarten

◼   ► just watching this this famous black

◼   ► clock to get down o whenever I whenever

◼   ► I need to you know whenever I'm doing a

◼   ► big-budget hollywood film and they say

◼   ► can you cry

◼   ► mhm I just put myself in that in that

◼   ► situation culture sense a sense memory

◼   ► yep yep just stick it down my class used

◼   ► to be so important

◼   ► I don't even know if they do kids do

◼   ► they even have a last day of school

◼   ► already like to get into sliding scale

◼   ► it's just optional or something

◼   ► everything's a mess now I mean

◼   ► everything's a mess there's there's no

◼   ► there's nothing to him or anybody

◼   ► anymore that the times change its

◼   ► strange times what you remember this

◼   ► do you remember so it sounds like your

◼   ► clocks were your big black clock was as

◼   ► tough and solid is ours to remember the

◼   ► black as yours

◼   ► but do you remember on the Friday the

◼   ► Friday in fall before the friday before

◼   ► the time change right before school let

◼   ► out this amazing moment

◼   ► oh oh my god i just try stills I think I

◼   ► so clearly remember them because these

◼   ► clocks I just I can't say it enough

◼   ► these clocks run impeachable oh you're

◼   ► talking about when they moved remotely

◼   ► one hour at every there was a there was

◼   ► a weird moment when suddenly the clock

◼   ► that was never wrong

◼   ► worcester and then suddenly the little

◼   ► hand and the big hand would start moving

◼   ► backwards

◼   ► oh I do remember and what would happen

◼   ► it would take less than a minute it was

◼   ► like yeah but it was such a strange it

◼   ► was like it would be like somebody

◼   ► resetting the sky it was so it was such

◼   ► a weird moment and I mean maybe I'm

◼   ► thinking about this too much maybe I

◼   ► think about clocks too much i think i

◼   ► think becoming aware of time all let me

◼   ► say this i am Amy very disorganized and

◼   ► very confused person but there's a

◼   ► couple things in my life that may make

◼   ► my life more sensible and made me less

◼   ► stressed out i can tell you two things

◼   ► that have completely changed my game one

◼   ► is always putting my wallet and keys all

◼   ► my pocket things i always put all my

◼   ► pocket things in the same place every

◼   ► day all the time they never go anywhere

◼   ► but that one spot game-changer what is

◼   ► that spot

◼   ► ah what is mine or what's called 0 minus

◼   ► minus a white like a good dish it's sort

◼   ► of like it's costing like it like a

◼   ► plate and a bowl and probably from like

◼   ► an ikea but it's like a flat it's

◼   ► probably can tell you it's about this

◼   ► with of an apple pencil swear it's a

◼   ► flat circle again eight-by-eight

◼   ► McConaughey disk and that's where it

◼   ► goes ok so that's one and talking about

◼   ► you you just didn't have a name oh I i

◼   ► don't know i called the dish dish but

◼   ► like okay that's just 11 of one of those

◼   ► one of the things that has been a change

◼   ► for in and the thing is it's like it's

◼   ► like when you stop smoking and suddenly

◼   ► can understand how anybody ever smoked

◼   ► and like now I like the idea that your

◼   ► keys for example could be anywhere in

◼   ► the entire fucking universe then the

◼   ► white dish

◼   ► yeah the dish and the in the idea that

◼   ► your wallet could be

◼   ► we're but either literally in your

◼   ► pocket or hand while you're using it or

◼   ► in the dish it never goes anywhere else

◼   ► I never put it anywhere else and that

◼   ► has been my bulwark against madness

◼   ► well now let me see this yes II all

◼   ► those things that go in the dish are all

◼   ► outside the house implements so again

◼   ► let you know that will let put

◼   ► differently apart from my phone which

◼   ► may be in my pocket are being charged

◼   ► it's all the stuff that I would never in

◼   ► a million years leave the house without

◼   ► right but they're not things that you

◼   ► use in the house for if you do you have

◼   ► to go to the white dish get your credit

◼   ► card out yet makes the transaction you

◼   ► put it back in the white dish

◼   ► yeah exactly like you know unless

◼   ► somebody has borrowed my two keys on a

◼   ► ring to use as fulcrum for some kind of

◼   ► a thing to make Wolverine pull out of

◼   ► the Barbie house mentioning any names

◼   ► know the keys are always there

◼   ► ok so that's that's the number-one the

◼   ► dish and number two is this came much

◼   ► much much later was learning to realize

◼   ► accept and been anything like that to

◼   ► realize how this is used for me let me

◼   ► learn to real well lots of people can

◼   ► change before they realize what they're

◼   ► trying to change and not always fuck up

◼   ► because they never became aware of what

◼   ► the thing is it's actually wrong

◼   ► yeah they're trying to realize before

◼   ► then that was my relationship with time

◼   ► and like it you know honestly it is it

◼   ► took like five years at a time for me to

◼   ► make a 10-percent increasing realization

◼   ► about how fucked up my sense of time was

◼   ► it wasn't I mean it should have been

◼   ► there should have been a shaman lon

◼   ► thing all the time of me going like wow

◼   ► it's really weird that I never turned

◼   ► anything in on time

◼   ► it's really weird that I am late for

◼   ► every single thing that I do it never

◼   ► occurred to me that maybe time was the

◼   ► one that was right and I was one of

◼   ► those little screwy I think it really

◼   ► wasn't until college were like there are

◼   ► consequences for you know turning things

◼   ► in late or give a like for every

◼   ► workshop alone huh

◼   ► come along no no me and Sam Ilan but

◼   ► without I'm sure well the second thing

◼   ► the second thing was accepting that like

◼   ► a clock

◼   ► let's say let's say you've got a clock

◼   ► that for whatever reason is consistently

◼   ► 20 minutes wrong it seems like you could

◼   ► basically fix that what i learned to

◼   ► realize is like idea

◼   ► realign my sense of how long it takes to

◼   ► do fucking everything and I have to and

◼   ► then when I eventually did become a

◼   ► project manager it was even worse

◼   ► because everything is perfectly planned

◼   ► still goes wrong when you're a project

◼   ► manager you get to like be part of the

◼   ► process of deciding how long things take

◼   ► but you don't have that much actual

◼   ► control about how long it actually does

◼   ► take and so what do you do well in my

◼   ► case I learned to always add twenty

◼   ► percent to every aspect of every project

◼   ► and maybe sometimes that would be within

◼   ► the range of okay but that's the

◼   ► number-one the dish and number two the

◼   ► time and so as somebody whose life has

◼   ► benefited as someone who's sanity has

◼   ► improved by addressing realizing

◼   ► addressing those things it is so hard

◼   ► for me

◼   ► we have been accounted for socks and now

◼   ► it's 732 and like we should never be in

◼   ► this position and I realized why I

◼   ► selling out of my mind I know it's just

◼   ► that every morning I wake up knowing

◼   ► that we're going to be late and don't

◼   ► have that much control over it and I

◼   ► feel like if they just took my to power

◼   ► hacks and put them in place they being

◼   ► my daughter right my perhaps could work

◼   ► but yeah the post-mortem this morning we

◼   ► talked about it which we talked about we

◼   ► had a mercury post-mortem was like you

◼   ► know what we didn't account for socks

◼   ► and then I had to explain the time thing

◼   ► by quoting john kennedy in the film

◼   ► hidden figures and i had to say we go to

◼   ► the moon we choose to go to the moon not

◼   ► because it is easy but because it is

◼   ► hard

◼   ► oh yes i would say difficult but i think

◼   ► he said hard but I that's the thing and

◼   ► that's the thing with this and this is

◼   ► why if it's 732 we failed mercury is

◼   ► down my shiraki fucking dead for all we

◼   ► know it's it's it's you know it's

◼   ► calibrated with in centimeters

◼   ► it's like if you see the movie hidden

◼   ► figures no it's pretty really you don't

◼   ► see ya i can just say he it's really i

◼   ► thought was really good especially take

◼   ► a kid too but like they're describing

◼   ► like how they're going to have to nail

◼   ► like it's one thing to get the mercury

◼   ► like off the ground that is hard enough

◼   ► yeah getting mercury into orbit and

◼   ► bring it out of orbit and they had some

◼   ► crazy analogy about you know like

◼   ► shooting a shotgun across this many

◼   ► football fields or something like that

◼   ► it's not incredibly complicated to

◼   ► thread that needle

◼   ► oh yeah well you know i'm spending a lot

◼   ► of time staring at the Saturn five

◼   ► rocket yes you do

◼   ► yeah I built the Saturn five

◼   ► model rocket difficult budget uh well

◼   ► shits it was three feet tall house was

◼   ► in SDS it wasn't it was well those were

◼   ► the motors i use I'm sorry but use it

◼   ► but you got like a deal look at the

◼   ► engine rocket I had 40 and collie shit

◼   ► Sherlock

◼   ► it was a massive massive rocket during

◼   ► my model rockets 44 caliber of s these

◼   ► engines it was a big big operation this

◼   ► thing and i launched it successfully and

◼   ► it went away

◼   ► oh it all it went so high that I mean

◼   ► and this was at a model rocketry event

◼   ► where people were shooting when we were

◼   ► in the giant field lady with with we're

◼   ► at a job that I was spacing interesa

◼   ► hello

◼   ► you may know me as Saturn 5 is that your

◼   ► handle on the BBS yeah we were we were

◼   ► uh that but still is I have it I have it

◼   ► on the back of my truck in stick-on

◼   ► letter 75 channel 14

◼   ► breaker breaker we were dying filled

◼   ► with no trees around it we just went

◼   ► away people were launching rockets all

◼   ► day and when and catching them as they

◼   ► returned on their giant parachutes this

◼   ► saturday 5 rocket had huge parachutes it

◼   ► went up so high that it went away

◼   ► oh my no one could I couldn't see it

◼   ► anymore no one could see it anymore and

◼   ► then we couldn't we just couldn't see

◼   ► anything

◼   ► it's like a James Bond local situation

◼   ► where the sky is big and you would have

◼   ► to at some point it has two are not dark

◼   ► but it has two curve over and come back

◼   ► down somewhere something it seems like

◼   ► that it has to blow its it stopped and

◼   ► the parachute comes out and then you run

◼   ► or you get in the car and chase it but

◼   ► it just was gone haha and i spent a lot

◼   ► of time on this rocket and had also like

◼   ► a long time before launching it i

◼   ► completed a long time before launching

◼   ► it and had just had it right

◼   ► found and just would go look at it and

◼   ► caress it tonight scratchbuilt many

◼   ► parts for it and had laborious Lee made

◼   ► it look like a Saturn 5 I mean I mean

◼   ► obviously made out of cardboard but it

◼   ► was a it was something that mattered a

◼   ► lot to me and it just went away i still

◼   ► wonder what happened it was a it was

◼   ► truly a puzzle and the adults agreed

◼   ► that it was a puzzle and everyone was

◼   ► extremely impressed by it it went off

◼   ► like a rocket literally and made a huge

◼   ► noise and what it was just tore ass into

◼   ► the sky and it was a thrilling moment

◼   ► and then it kept going which was also

◼   ► thrilling and then it just kept going

◼   ► and it was like what am i what

◼   ► what now I expected to realize that the

◼   ► universe telling you with that one haha

◼   ► i mean i thought i would retrieve it and

◼   ► launch it again a million times 75 and

◼   ► it definitely like that was the moment

◼   ► that I kind of walked away from the

◼   ► rocket filled with my head held down and

◼   ► people going like it's okay Charlie

◼   ► Brown music playing yeah and you know

◼   ► Mike I was stuck in a tree except it

◼   ► wasn't even in a tree

◼   ► there's no tricky it just because you

◼   ► didn't indicate mean for ya

◼   ► it just went up and up and up and was

◼   ► gone all the ceiling and it wasn't even

◼   ► a thing where that we're email you saw

◼   ► the parachute and it floated off into

◼   ► the next County

◼   ► it just I don't just kept flying it went

◼   ► all the way to have it might still be up

◼   ► there John God wanted it gone so they're

◼   ► short one angel is right beside or five

◼   ► that's right little Saturday Bob and I

◼   ► can only imagine that some kid in some

◼   ► suburban neighborhood some faraway place

◼   ► it was like it was like the Playboy

◼   ► bunny coming in through the window

◼   ► yeah haha oh my god it was like what the

◼   ► 75 just landed in my backyard

◼   ► mmm i think they got out at seven thirty

◼   ► one today and cool they can't get out at

◼   ► seven thirty will get enough to leave

◼   ► the house I see I see what you're saying

◼   ► remember the goal of this mercury

◼   ► mission is 730 unique notice that yeah

◼   ► 730 is we've left the house

◼   ► it cannot have swept second to 3730 we

◼   ► need to be out of house by seven thirty

◼   ► actually

◼   ► it's going to explode but you were

◼   ► saying that 732 was already too late but

◼   ► where does 731 well this is so yesterday

◼   ► I took her in

◼   ► and so I was running the project but as

◼   ► I say that we didn't account for socks

◼   ► now we've actually found some socks she

◼   ► was not happy with the socks at all

◼   ► hmm she likes to save her old socks i

◼   ► say those socks too small with those

◼   ► wishes has no save them put them in the

◼   ► sewing box so now I'm putting socks in

◼   ► the box but no no mouse in the house let

◼   ► me active yeah when you put the socks in

◼   ► the box what's your long-term plan does

◼   ► she want a quilt made out of them went

◼   ► well the socks in the Box much like the

◼   ► clocks are things that I it's like me

◼   ► explaining molecules that's how I feel I

◼   ► feel like I feel like like like I i just

◼   ► want Stickley I don't actually

◼   ► understand molecules but I feel like I

◼   ► feel like I'm constantly every time i

◼   ► say it's 712 that means you have to get

◼   ► out in eight within 18 minutes before

◼   ► the House explodes I feel like I'm

◼   ► saying I think i'm constantly giving her

◼   ► trouble for what a neutron like how many

◼   ► moles the air-conditioning ways like I

◼   ► feel like I'm going well there's a 300

◼   ► molecules in a bit do because again you

◼   ► keep saying that like you just keep

◼   ► saying these words like you keep saying

◼   ► 712 like it's meaningful understand

◼   ► those are all numbers and I'm familiar

◼   ► with like no this represents the passage

◼   ► of time the big black fucking clock is

◼   ► moving all the time I tried to explain

◼   ► molecules to my dad every day and she

◼   ► did that thing where she turned and

◼   ► looked out the window

◼   ► hmm i was like oh did I lose your

◼   ► attention i have where we've gotten to a

◼   ► point i don't know how I let this get to

◼   ► this point we've got to the point where

◼   ► basically my daughter is not paying

◼   ► attention to me or she thinks she's in

◼   ► trouble and that is a needle the disc

◼   ► Mercury program is constantly having to

◼   ► thread

◼   ► those are the two options for example

◼   ► attention to have the conversation about

◼   ► the new plan the new Mercury plan that

◼   ► we're putting in place

◼   ► this is a conversation we had two

◼   ► afternoons ago and it's been real mellow

◼   ► I was okay just come here for a second

◼   ► look what I don't know just just compare

◼   ► minute like I'm doing dishes I just want

◼   ► to talk to you like four seconds they're

◼   ► not in trouble

◼   ► I i had to say you're not in trouble and

◼   ► then and then she's bringing her comic

◼   ► books with her

◼   ► god bless her she was going to read your

◼   ► comics talk and say hey look at me

◼   ► let's just talk from which is what and

◼   ► said you're too you're not in trouble I

◼   ► just want to talk to you in a way where

◼   ► you're not picking out the next parks

◼   ► and rec on netflix i want you to come

◼   ► here and I want to talk to you and

◼   ► you're not in trouble

◼   ► I just want to talk about something she

◼   ► says what I said look morning's

◼   ► morning's are becoming stressful you cry

◼   ► a lot in the morning now it's kind of

◼   ► fake cry but like there's no crying in

◼   ► the morning a lot now just to get to

◼   ► this conversation and now she's scared

◼   ► now she's put down our comic books she's

◼   ► gotten a piece of printer paper and a

◼   ► marker and she started to write down

◼   ► what I'm saying oh my goodness really is

◼   ► she doing it a genuinely or she don't

◼   ► you know she misses your head

◼   ► he thinks season and not the thing is I

◼   ► think you can probably guess I'm not

◼   ► like a and a mad angry yelling add like

◼   ► I'm hot

◼   ► she's pretty rarely in trouble but yet

◼   ► she's so intimidated she brings a piece

◼   ► of paper she starts making a longhand

◼   ► schedule with the title how to make

◼   ► mornings better

◼   ► Oh number one is make a sketch but so we

◼   ► really are cut from the same cloth the

◼   ► same as saying something about logistics

◼   ► use a three by five card know she was

◼   ► picked big piece of printer paper

◼   ► well ordinarily she would just grab one

◼   ► of my expensive fresh notebooks right on

◼   ► one page and then that would be how she

◼   ► did it

◼   ► no no it'sit's the sitting there I'll

◼   ► probably hang on to that because I

◼   ► thought that was fun

◼   ► you don't have to tell you yesterday

◼   ► they got better you know we still we

◼   ► still wrecked my curio yeah but I and

◼   ► then today so again i'm sitting there in

◼   ► my underpants on the steps watching them

◼   ► was like I mean you guys be plus four

◼   ► days is pretty good and like be plus we

◼   ► need p+ like we're leaving we're not

◼   ► late like haha you're not late but

◼   ► you're also not on time

◼   ► oh yeah mercury crashes if you don't

◼   ► leave here at seven by seven tell you

◼   ► gotta get out clock dad daddy isn't

◼   ► crazy things like crazy just organ

◼   ► daddy's gotta play a project plan

◼   ► yes you know my big hack that that

◼   ► differentiates me from everyone else in

◼   ► my family is that I make no assessment

◼   ► of my daughter's costume

◼   ► the only thing I ever say to her about

◼   ► her outfit is you have good style she

◼   ► must take it out herself entirely

◼   ► ok so that must be fun this is the

◼   ► problem with every everyone else in the

◼   ► house which is that for everyone else in

◼   ► the whole family which is that they have

◼   ► opinions about what she's wearing

◼   ► or do you think maybe sometimes they

◼   ► want to like the unintentionally like

◼   ► when a reward her for either being

◼   ► creative or pretty high

◼   ► I feel like at least in the case of her

◼   ► mother her mother has is also someone

◼   ► for whom style and fashion her mother's

◼   ► and her mother's a dish

◼   ► well and you know and like treats her

◼   ► own clothes as as a you know that's the

◼   ► thing she thinks a lot about and yeah

◼   ► does a very good job with and so she has

◼   ► feelings about these costumes and my mom

◼   ► also has feelings about the costumes but

◼   ► all based on practicality like my mouth

◼   ► that's not gonna get the weather is this

◼   ► or this is laid out a day for floor

◼   ► length tulle ya later on to you know

◼   ► later on in the day we have to do this

◼   ► so you need this with that and those

◼   ► shoes don't match with these and my mom

◼   ► is very matching met

◼   ► is very matching met

◼   ► hmm and as you know about me style also

◼   ► matters to me but I am a mixed pattern

◼   ► type idea you're kind of a coaster easy

◼   ► costa rican breakfast of a man

◼   ► absolutely just like if you because if

◼   ► you feel like it goes secret sparkly

◼   ► covered with spots

◼   ► that's right what white soft not about

◼   ► not a problem bring it all in and take

◼   ► the fuck you there's eggs take three

◼   ► kinds of hashing you want white gravy

◼   ► you want sausage gravy or brown gravy

◼   ► what he saw

◼   ► yes and yes and is the a.m some dishes

◼   ► just keep them coming

◼   ► my own my latest thing is can I don't

◼   ► want toast or hash browns

◼   ► can I get one pancake

◼   ► [Music]

◼   ► well now you have not for people have

◼   ► not eat now with you it is a peculiar

◼   ► joy of eating out with you you to have

◼   ► the come to Jesus discussion with the

◼   ► waiter

◼   ► yeah because I I first I thought you

◼   ► were just being a little silly but like

◼   ► where you actually say and listen I

◼   ► don't want to its kind of Ron Swanson

◼   ► where you going to do something I don't

◼   ► want not what the potatoes give me the

◼   ► extra vegetables or something that we

◼   ► didn't know that to hear anything with

◼   ► you two fingers in the eyes look look

◼   ► right here know if they're used to say

◼   ► that if there are any potatoes brought

◼   ► to the table i will send them back and

◼   ► there will be a problem but don't click

◼   ► don't get potatoes near my food

◼   ► yeah that's right i don't want them I

◼   ► don't you know the whole thing where i'm

◼   ► like i love fruit instead of potatoes

◼   ► and then they bring fruit and potato

◼   ► you'd understand you did in stages you

◼   ► just wrecked mercury no no bring us

◼   ► separately bring another plate start

◼   ► over new table potatoes are gone

◼   ► that's right everybody up we're going to

◼   ► start we're going we're going to come in

◼   ► the door against Miguel ron Hubbard like

◼   ► the master moment you begin to get but

◼   ► but the wonderful thing is ninety-eight

◼   ► percent of the time now when I say no

◼   ► toast no potatoes one pancake the server

◼   ► looks up at the sky doesn't food math

◼   ► and and takes a takes her pan or his pen

◼   ► and taps it to their lip and then says I

◼   ► can do that

◼   ► and there's a moment where it feels like

◼   ► it feels like it feels like it might be

◼   ► a scam

◼   ► yeah it was like you it feels like one

◼   ► of those like okay I want to get rid of

◼   ► some of this money can you give me a ten

◼   ► for two twenties or you know whatever

◼   ► Yeah right there would be the other way

◼   ► with ya tonight yeah exactly cannot get

◼   ► how about no potatoes double steak I

◼   ► want to change I want to change this

◼   ► hundred-dollar bill ok now five twenties

◼   ► and 410 actually let's get rid of

◼   ► somebody and you do you have a paper

◼   ► moon on them but they look up and they

◼   ► think and they picture a plate of toast

◼   ► and a picture hash browns and I think

◼   ► they realize that one pancake is less

◼   ► than but they also less than those so

◼   ► it's a deal in that sense or I mean but

◼   ► I also feel like they have to make the

◼   ► toast right

◼   ► oh really this becomes a kind of like

◼   ► existential breakfast algebra

◼   ► yeah that's right i mean there's there

◼   ► it yes there's the food part are you

◼   ► trying to get away with something but I

◼   ► was like you know what

◼   ► not a fan of making toast I would be

◼   ► totally okay just have somebody else

◼   ► make a pancake

◼   ► yeah I all have to do now is ring the

◼   ► bell and say pancake I don't have to say

◼   ► here's the order and now I've got to go

◼   ► make less work and easy custom thing to

◼   ► do

◼   ► I mean that's less work than giving you

◼   ► a coffee refill that might be a better

◼   ► tip also and so-and-so ninety percent of

◼   ► the time they're like I can do that two

◼   ► percent of the time they say that's

◼   ► going to cost you a dollar which is fine

◼   ► if a dollar i'll pay the fucking dollar

◼   ► for a pancake

◼   ► yeah but that but the the real twister

◼   ► is are they going to bring that pan care

◼   ► on a separate plate where it belongs

◼   ► we're going to bring that pancake

◼   ► touching said this is what happened

◼   ► yesterday with where the potatoes would

◼   ► have been where exactly so I was like

◼   ► I'll have the pork cutlet with with eggs

◼   ► and she was like done and I said and a

◼   ► pancake no toast no potatoes a pancake

◼   ► and she was like I can do it and then it

◼   ► came on the same plate which isn't a

◼   ► problem exactly except the port Cutler

◼   ► was covered with white gravy

◼   ► yeah i mean the pancake in that case

◼   ► again not that much more effort putting

◼   ► the pancake on its own on a plate would

◼   ► be a lot more fancy well sure but if

◼   ► you're putting syrup on a pancake you

◼   ► know there's going to be a place in the

◼   ► Middle where you've got syrup white

◼   ► gravy and eggs and I was like oh I see

◼   ► what you're saying

◼   ► I said Emma into this i might be

◼   ► yeah I know I I i see this is why I like

◼   ► a monkey dish I like a separate plate

◼   ► like a monkey i'm not i'm not even that

◼   ► weird about food touching but one of my

◼   ► latest technologies when we go to the

◼   ► diner around the corner you've been to

◼   ► my daughter always get the same thing

◼   ► she always gets the pancakes sausage and

◼   ► scrambled eggs she doesn't meet my new

◼   ► thing is mushroom cheese burger with

◼   ► side monkey dish of white sausage gravy

◼   ► oh hello one wow so now I got I got I

◼   ► got a mushroom cheese burger with

◼   ► crinkle fries

◼   ► yeah and I got a side dish of white

◼   ► sausage gravy so now i can deploy a

◼   ► little dollop of catch up next to the

◼   ► fries a dollop of mayonnaise next to the

◼   ► french fries i'm now deploying three

◼   ► different sauces freely

◼   ► oh my god and you're dipping fries and

◼   ► all three and everything's going in all

◼   ► of them and the burger and all three so

◼   ► you know what you know what you hear

◼   ► what you didn't hear it was me going oh

◼   ► I put a bunch of shit on my burger no no

◼   ► longer it can will be transmogrified

◼   ► into anything if i want to put a french

◼   ► fry on this but i can't i can deploy any

◼   ► of those sauces and in that case the

◼   ► monkey dishes the key

◼   ► yeah we'll see i do this exact thing

◼   ► they're doing i put ketchup on the plate

◼   ► and dip the burger in the catcher

◼   ► because that's the only way that should

◼   ► be the third thought technology you get

◼   ► a dish you think about time and they

◼   ► deploy sauces tactical sauce but then i

◼   ► asked for a couple o jus oh god I gotta

◼   ► start doing that and there's yeah they

◼   ► got a French Dip I don't want that much

◼   ► fucking bread I don't get a french dip

◼   ► but i wish i could get the juice there's

◼   ► there is nothing that you can't dip

◼   ► knows you Sokka french fry knows you

◼   ► that is good but anything I mean you

◼   ► could dip a piece of chocolate cake and

◼   ► a man yeah you take you a mushroom

◼   ► cheese burger it's got some red onion

◼   ► got something made out you dip just just

◼   ► the tip of like you taking a bite and a

◼   ► little tip on the bite Egypt that in

◼   ► a little bit of sausage gravy dip that

◼   ► little to get a little teary sausage

◼   ► gravy

◼   ► this is bananas she's good when you

◼   ► don't have an app that's the this is

◼   ► exactly what this is exactly the kind of

◼   ► like let's put every sauce on it that I

◼   ► that's how i approach dressing

◼   ► ok yes something next pivot and my and

◼   ► muscle my so what I do with with my kid

◼   ► is I make some make some breakfast for

◼   ► her and half the time it's just one egg

◼   ► in a coffee cup which is this point this

◼   ► house have been trying to do too much

◼   ► success it's alec yeah what are you

◼   ► gonna copy come sometimes it's a little

◼   ► bit of granola with with a dollop of

◼   ► yogurt on it like she get that the

◼   ► practice tests

◼   ► she's pretty cool about Shelly and

◼   ► actually a hard-boiled egg even which I

◼   ► wouldn't do there you know like a

◼   ► hard-boiled egg not you wouldn't ask for

◼   ► it if you give me a hard boiled egg and

◼   ► I put it in my pocket and carry it with

◼   ► me on the trail

◼   ► ok like alcohol and jager well Jean

◼   ► right now what we call this little

◼   ► sausages with yellow and jager plan your

◼   ► laundry laundry girl I nagar there we'll

◼   ► get it there will be a time in the

◼   ► middle of the day when I'm hungry and

◼   ► I'm Way out on the trail and there's no

◼   ► place to get any food that i'll pull

◼   ► that takeout

◼   ► I feel very situational situational and

◼   ► contextual about public like a boiled

◼   ► egg that I've just made in my very

◼   ► special wake of a very special way and I

◼   ► go to New York Times I put a put on a

◼   ► hole with a needle you do that on your

◼   ► eggs you get a hard book but the other

◼   ► hand like a bed-and-breakfast of bread

◼   ► bed-and-breakfast like knock on the door

◼   ► they want to give you a hard-boiled egg

◼   ► what is it but with those places in

◼   ► fucking hard boiled eggs that's that

◼   ► snake i do not want no I don't want to

◼   ► rank keep your egg and your German

◼   ► muffin like yeah I don't want it when

◼   ► you when you go downstairs at the german

◼   ► Pensione and there's a bass tick

◼   ► mastic effects if you have a if you have

◼   ► a sticker breakfast and you're just like

◼   ► dark as shown

◼   ► yeah but here's what i want i want some

◼   ► toast with Jam actually

◼   ► I don't get what I want and what I want

◼   ► and I want some cold cuts and one of

◼   ► your heart buns and then get me out of

◼   ► here gonna hit the trail but so anyway I

◼   ► microwave an egg

◼   ► I she eats it we're having a good time

◼   ► in the morning because it's just like

◼   ► you know it's just the two of us without

◼   ► without trying saying too much to

◼   ► provide triangulation like you other are

◼   ► days where you have to get her to school

◼   ► lots yeah like how like roughly how long

◼   ► is it from your walk doors there's no

◼   ► walking it's a it is a half hour drive

◼   ► ok ok all right good ok that's what the

◼   ► problem is it's a half hour dry it's a

◼   ► 20-minute drive if you leave if

◼   ► everybody if it were told way that you

◼   ► needed things to work and people keep

◼   ► moving it out of the way

◼   ► yeah but-but-but traffic changes within

◼   ► that 10 minutes if you don't leave I'll

◼   ► i know this one idea exactly what you do

◼   ► is to get this was the commute down to

◼   ► the peninsula was like within this

◼   ► 30-minute window the traffic would come

◼   ► you could add two hours to the trip by

◼   ► they don't half an hour later if you

◼   ► leave at seven twenty to my house in 722

◼   ► you are you are in the game and you

◼   ► don't understand why I give a b-plus for

◼   ► a failed mercury mission but what you're

◼   ► dealing with every morning 722 722 you

◼   ► into x 7 x star 722 you can stop at the

◼   ► gas station and have an additional

◼   ► breakfast of a couple of chicken strips

◼   ► you could have an emergency travel Joe

◼   ► yeah daddy can get a coffee

◼   ► yeah if you leave to get a map believe

◼   ► it I could I could get a tire pressure

◼   ► gauge which if you leave at seven thirty

◼   ► two haha yeah you're sitting in traffic

◼   ► and yeah well mr. ah yeah so so what I

◼   ► say is at a certain point I look at the

◼   ► clock and I go go get dressed and she

◼   ► lollygag for one and a half seconds and

◼   ► I say what did I say go get dressed and

◼   ► then she disappears

◼   ► now God and reappears often in the most

◼   ► fantastical outfits you will have ever

◼   ► seen i love this already like flowered

◼   ► parents

◼   ► a plaid skirt a you know like a mohair

◼   ► sweater that i didn't know she had some

◼   ► kind of like rain jacket and cowboy

◼   ► boots are you know like cheating him she

◼   ► finds all this stuff and I'm like look

◼   ► at and I go great

◼   ► here we go and the only issue is come

◼   ► out of that room dressed in some costume

◼   ► by this moment and if she doesn't all I

◼   ► have everyone's a real liberal arts

◼   ► approach like how you do this however

◼   ► you want but you have exactly one

◼   ► fitness criterion which is that we I

◼   ► mean by you could ultimately 17 but you

◼   ► say when i see you next you need to be

◼   ► in this state

◼   ► that's right you know you should be

◼   ► headed toward the door and be able to

◼   ► make if I if I get to the door before

◼   ► you do an open it you should be able to

◼   ► continue be able to start throwing your

◼   ► keys through the air

◼   ► yeah at seven 2159 yeah and you just be

◼   ► you walk out of that room and be

◼   ► prepared to keep walking and then and

◼   ► that's the point at which I'm throwing

◼   ► her hastily made lunch into her back

◼   ► back and i'm putting my own coat and hat

◼   ► on and so she ninety-five percent of the

◼   ► time appears in some costume but i think

◼   ► is magical that would drive both of her

◼   ► other caretakers right up the wall for

◼   ► potentially different reasons for

◼   ► different reasons

◼   ► yeah i do not care particularly if her

◼   ► hair is a rat's nest because my hair's

◼   ► around interesting and so I don't worry

◼   ► about how that reflects on you now I'll

◼   ► grab one of those little ponytail rubber

◼   ► bands and I'll throw it onto the top of

◼   ► her head in some way not like a it not

◼   ► so that the ponytail sticking up not to

◼   ► meet with but I grabbed her hair and

◼   ► pull it to the side and put a little top

◼   ► ponytail on it so it hangs down high and

◼   ► tuck your hair behind your ears and go

◼   ► good and she goes down good and we're

◼   ► out

◼   ► and so I think that she likes it because

◼   ► compared to her morning's elsewhere

◼   ► it feels like a team effort yeah

◼   ► and she gets to go to school and the one

◼   ► she's not getting beef

◼   ► no there's no beef she's the only beef

◼   ► is why are you it's 720 145 where the

◼   ► fuck are you

◼   ► right did you get distracted did you get

◼   ► lost in your room you know what happens

◼   ► when you get lost in your room happens

◼   ► that while you're fucking late and then

◼   ► daddy standing at the front door going

◼   ► well let's move

◼   ► yeah but like what if what if she's

◼   ► looking at dust that's falling from from

◼   ► ceiling and look at books that got moved

◼   ► around if she's trying to discern her

◼   ► future she absolutely does and then but

◼   ► at that point it's my problem because I

◼   ► should be on my game enough that at

◼   ► seven-twenty I'm saying let's let's move

◼   ► if I haven't seen you at seven-twenty

◼   ► let's move and often i'm not only yeah I

◼   ► know 7 28 mins me that's the problem

◼   ► yeah and then if I do open her door she

◼   ► absolutely is staring up at the dust

◼   ► coming down staring up trying to figure

◼   ► out what a fucking neutron is marf and

◼   ► and it you know and it's like oh we're

◼   ► late now and that's because i was also

◼   ► staring up at the Panda corner of the

◼   ► room

◼   ► oh boy look at that mhm so i came home

◼   ► daddy is also the problem but we both

◼   ► subject we walk out of that house we

◼   ► both look like polly wachee you know

◼   ► oh yeah

◼   ► [Music]