Roderick on the Line

Ep. 03: "The Viet Cong Can Smell the Soap"


  hello hi John how are you I'm well [TS]

  Merlin how are you [TS]

  oh you're sick right I'm sick and I i'm [TS]

  having a peanut butter sandwich so that [TS]

  that makes it sound like I'm sicker than [TS]

  I am [TS]

  oh man i know well you know when i get [TS]

  sick it's never a small matter i'm not i [TS]

  don't get sick for two days I get sick [TS]

  for 420 days and it's a it's like a it's [TS]

  like it's like merging my people out of [TS]

  Egypt I have to go through all this [TS]

  stuff it doesn't matter if it doesn't [TS]

  matter if everybody else got the same [TS]

  cold and they're all over it by the [TS]

  weekend [TS]

  I have to go through this long march [TS]

  across the this season after part the [TS]

  plagues have to come [TS]

  it's it's frustrating you get sick hard [TS]

  i do i get sick heart I you know that's [TS]

  part of being extreme food is part of [TS]

  non no compromise lifestyle that I have [TS]

  adopted since I was a young man no fear [TS]

  this is no fear based lifestyle program [TS]

  surely a bird of totally burly like [TS]

  shrimping you know where I got hurley [TS]

  you got to Lee to lay how do you say [TS]

  that what you want is on your car right [TS]

  totally is that doesn't matter where you [TS]

  put a bird on it [TS]

  oh I was like something I've frito-lay I [TS]

  think about going to get that thing you [TS]

  know it's against like the carabiners [TS]

  right when you got one of those things [TS]

  on your car [TS]

  I don't you put in some kind of board [TS]

  support is a movement related board [TS]

  oh you know where I guess you like you [TS]

  like board related movement so much and [TS]

  you go somewhere and deliberately by a [TS]

  big black box and put on top is a tool a [TS]

  tool that's the kind of like oh I see [TS]

  what you're saying it's a board carrying [TS]

  missiles aboard carrying box on your car [TS]

  you have any stickers on you're still [TS]

  the same van as you get some different [TS]

  the van blew up I'm afraid to say I [TS]

  didn't have any stickers on it but when [TS]

  I was it when I was a teenager I [TS]

  definitely had a Chrysler Imperial a 74 [TS]

  chrysler imperial when I was a kid and [TS]

  also also known as a pussy magnet [TS]

  boy we call it the boat because he [TS]

  didn't use words like pussy know in high [TS]

  school except to describe wimps but my [TS]

  car had so many stickers on the back and [TS]

  they were all stickers they were all [TS]

  like Solomon binding stickers you know [TS]

  they were up there about ski equipment [TS]

  and it was it's a private language right [TS]

  i mean one of those cars we drive past [TS]

  you and it would seem like they just had [TS]

  they had chosen random letters and [TS]

  numbers to put on the stickers on the [TS]

  back of their carpet but I was [TS]

  communicating very definitely that from [TS]

  the back of my car you could tell that i [TS]

  thought if you had tyrolia bindings on [TS]

  your skis that you were pussy mean [TS]

  really that was that will come through [TS]

  and be like a red sox affiliation keeps [TS]

  would see that instantly and you could [TS]

  say like you know ty Cobbs racist and [TS]

  everybody would know you probably didn't [TS]

  like whatever team he was on against the [TS]

  Yankee's runs out [TS]

  wow so I mean if you had given me a pair [TS]

  of skis with tyrolia bindings on them in [TS]

  1984 I would have refused them because [TS]

  you're not a pussy because I'm not a [TS]

  pussy and I'm not going to i'm not going [TS]

  to use that brand there are only four [TS]

  brands of ski bindings but I had chosen [TS]

  sides and I expressed that partisanship [TS]

  through stickers on the back of my [TS]

  Chrysler and they're all but those are [TS]

  all its so guys five shows that's so [TS]

  interesting to me because it's if you [TS]

  think about have you ever seen an [TS]

  Atlantic Records bumper sticker [TS]

  mmm i'm gonna guess not no great label [TS]

  right put a lot of great stuff wasn't [TS]

  the R&B and then they did the led [TS]

  zeppelin but you then eventually your [TS]

  buddies right with the respect of cabs [TS]

  on atlantic yeah I had an SST records [TS]

  are right when you do see punk-rock [TS]

  bumpers [TS]

  but that's the thing I mean it'sit's to [TS]

  me this sounds ridiculous because I [TS]

  don't understand why people ski I mean [TS]

  right it's not like you can just buy a [TS]

  scissor jack and hit your leg till it [TS]

  broke [TS]

  hmm i don't know how that works on my [TS]

  mechanics and fresh air you look that's [TS]

  that's already a date-rape right there a [TS]

  lot of date rape and skiing [TS]

  well there's a lot of drinking and [TS]

  skiing and wherever there's drinking [TS]

  dances a fun date rape silent epidemic [TS]

  mm ok although no way that's not true [TS]

  because there's a lot of drinking in [TS]

  rugby but there are no girls and rugby [TS]

  so I think the date rape is a lot lower [TS]

  in rugby because it's us it's a [TS]

  100-percent male environment and I know [TS]

  there's female rugby so sure I'm and and [TS]

  put this is probably out somewhere [TS]

  there's probably a female Steely Dan [TS]

  fancy that's exceptional person [TS]

  right exactly I don't rugby players and [TS]

  Mail rugby players i don't think i've [TS]

  ever met [TS]

  do you think there's more date rape in [TS]

  rugby and lacrosse no no lacrosse is [TS]

  weighed eight rapier than rugby party [TS]

  equipment you can on a sports basement [TS]

  you know I'll but like crosses [TS]

  I mean I don't really think there's the [TS]

  cross on the west coast is there [TS]

  LaCrosses is the cross is big where my [TS]

  ladies from back in Rhode Island [TS]

  ya see and Rhode Island to me when I [TS]

  think of going to school in Rhode Island [TS]

  I think of it being basically a series [TS]

  of rapes right that you have to get [TS]

  through in order to to graduate a life [TS]

  with a lot of food with eggs in it there [TS]

  because of the Portuguese that's [TS]

  something i didn't know although i did [TS]

  know that the Rhode Island mafia is a it [TS]

  was a kind of a terrifying local mafia [TS]

  if you will [TS]

  they weren't behind never became like a [TS]

  big mafia but they were I don't carry [TS]

  side out the headlines in the same way [TS]

  that that the five families did right [TS]

  they were they were small they were they [TS]

  were an artisanal mafia em Arsenal the [TS]

  now is that glucose glucose is the club [TS]

  there right you played a loop us [TS]

  I never played at lupos the onlyshow [TS]

  i've ever played in Rhode Island have to [TS]

  confess was when i was in harvey danger [TS]

  and we played in a we played in only [TS]

  like the david byrne school did you play [TS]

  at the [TS]

  no resting now are you kidding there's [TS]

  not that many cities besides providence [TS]

  rhode island there aren't and Providence [TS]

  even really is stretching the limits of [TS]

  the definition of the city [TS]

  I I don't want to go down tangent John [TS]

  but I and I have a lot of people will [TS]

  literally have computers and stuff in [TS]

  and read on so we're probably clear life [TS]

  and got eggs in their food and yeah a [TS]

  lot of parties lot of you know um I [TS]

  might get stretch and stretch the [TS]

  Colorado State it's kind of like on [TS]

  liechtenstein the country you can rent [TS]

  liechtenstein known as you know that we [TS]

  should circle back to that 20 grand that [TS]

  you can write liechtenstein did you know [TS]

  what you know it's a great country [TS]

  liechtenstein is that the one with the [TS]

  stamps isn't standard sale about the [TS]

  stamps welcome studies about banking mm [TS]

  it's about it's about i mean if the [TS]

  Swiss are too revealing for you [TS]

  oh I get anybody a victim stone right [TS]

  it's like I it's like a mattress nobody [TS]

  even as exists [TS]

  yeah but the problem with liechtenstein [TS]

  is that it's really just gets its [TS]

  release part of Switzerland that they [TS]

  just are allowing to kind of they use [TS]

  the swiss franc yeah i like the Vatican [TS]

  yeah that's right it's a it's like a [TS]

  Vatican for the vacuums Vatican's in [TS]

  Luxembourg that's right Luxembourg is [TS]

  the one with the stamps luxembourg [TS]

  philately hmm that doesn't sound right [TS]

  at all [TS]

  luxembourg is a great country is that [TS]

  really really little one is that the one [TS]

  with the mouse that roared with Peter [TS]

  Sellers Luxembourg is very very small [TS]

  it's small but it's got a fascinating [TS]

  history you know they speak french they [TS]

  speak Dutch they speak German especially [TS]

  like mirrors like that it's like the [TS]

  mirrors the shadow cabinet Switzerland [TS]

  right so it's really can't decide what [TS]

  they speak right well switzerland is [TS]

  someone's a wonderful country they speak [TS]

  German Italian and French but uh but no [TS]

  the election burgers tiny tiny town a [TS]

  tiny tiny country and then that the city [TS]

  of luxembourg luxembourg as a country [TS]

  and it's also a city the city of [TS]

  Luxembourg is like a train set it [TS]

  seriously is you stand in this and that [TS]

  they built it and on this ravine and [TS]

  it's always kind of shrouded in fog and [TS]

  it looks like people [TS]

  takin a likin out of a bag and glued it [TS]

  to little pieces of rock that they made [TS]

  out of out of a felt it's um it's a [TS]

  beautiful place if I was ever going to [TS]

  go on a honeymoon somewhere and it [TS]

  wasn't to a beach i would go on a [TS]

  honeymoon to luxembourg because you feel [TS]

  like a princess there even the groom [TS]

  yeah feels like a princess and [TS]

  Luxembourg it says it right there on the [TS]

  side when you come in this is what I'm [TS]

  learning so much i don't get off topic [TS]

  but alright have you no no i wasn't sure [TS]

  what the topic is you had so many have [TS]

  you on never used wolfram alpha I think [TS]

  it's something you need to know about I [TS]

  don't even know what you just said we [TS]

  have one worker for I'm gonna certainly [TS]

  speak fanatically but there's a there's [TS]

  a website if you will from like wolf RAM [TS]

  from is a word and then search for alpha [TS]

  and it's kind of like Google full form [TS]

  is a word that's the guys name he's [TS]

  going to invented a program for doing [TS]

  math he's really weird but you're gonna [TS]

  III many times like when i was able to [TS]

  look up what it costs to sleep on a [TS]

  board in San Francisco 18-49 I did that [TS]

  on here [TS]

  Oh wolfram alpha is a website and see [TS]

  there you go in and say things like oh [TS]

  good you go in and say something like [TS]

  out like I just entered in Liechtenstein [TS]

  and in the word san francisco and i can [TS]

  tell you and then it wasn't much stuff [TS]

  did you mean this did you mean that what [TS]

  it says here is that liechtenstein are [TS]

  you ready for this [TS]

  first of all San Francisco as you know [TS]

  46.8 seven square miles [TS]

  that's right so we're about to set [TS]

  working to seven by seven more or less [TS]

  concerned that goes down that goes down [TS]

  to that doesn't go all the way to palo [TS]

  alto no no it's literally the clan since [TS]

  the glans of the penis if you envision [TS]

  that Peninsula the painting you can't [TS]

  spell peninsula that penis not [TS]

  liechtenstein so that was about 7 46 [TS]

  well you know depends depends on whether [TS]

  I've been drinking 46.8 seven square [TS]

  miles in san francisco and by the way to [TS]

  your point about liechtenstein it is [TS]

  that is as san francisco county is also [TS]

  San Francisco the city which seems weird [TS]

  i don't know why even have a county if [TS]

  it equals the city right right as it is [TS]

  right for this you get that in your head [TS]

  down Sinai ready for this [TS]

  point seven eight square miles right [TS]

  send you a link for that [TS]

  that's when he doesn't that I mean I'm [TS]

  not even sure i'm not sure how you get [TS]

  like to the whatever the DMV of [TS]

  countries is I'm not even sure how you [TS]

  get in there and like have them take you [TS]

  seriously when they say are you sure you [TS]

  didn't leave off like 700 the great [TS]

  thing about liechtenstein is that the [TS]

  western border is a river right so you [TS]

  hear you know that you're in [TS]

  Liechtenstein could you go across the [TS]

  river and then hit the ground [TS]

  immediately starts barking up into a [TS]

  mountain and the entire you actually get [TS]

  in there you go on your walk [TS]

  no I didn't go there when i walk but [TS]

  I've been there yeah wow ok and then it [TS]

  the country just sort of Arc's up the [TS]

  side of this mountain and then the the [TS]

  border with Austria which is on the [TS]

  eastern side is just up there in the [TS]

  misty clouds somewhere so the whole [TS]

  country is basically just the western [TS]

  side of a love of the Alps it's just the [TS]

  western side of them of this mountain of [TS]

  this long range of mountains it's just a [TS]

  little bigger than a zoo right i mean [TS]

  you can you can stand on the one side of [TS]

  the river and see the entire nation of [TS]

  liechtenstein way it's like pigs [TS]

  remember the dead the morning after I [TS]

  met you your band and ken stringfellow [TS]

  and my wife and I went to twin peaks and [TS]

  we went up there and you can see the [TS]

  entire city of San Francisco formulation [TS]

  full day that was the first time I'd [TS]

  ever been up there [TS]

  yeah i was heavier than i have a photo [TS]

  that orange hair and ken stringfellow [TS]

  had green hair [TS]

  you did have Oringer ken stringfellow [TS]

  did have green air and that was it was [TS]

  not be coming on either of you your old [TS]

  man and you should have stopped that so [TS]

  that's true that's true and i'm still in [TS]

  a nice don't really completely [TS]

  understand how he was outside during [TS]

  daylight [TS]

  you got to tell me about it [TS]

  that's a nasty cold John you you get [TS]

  sick hard i do i do it i want to correct [TS]

  something [TS]

  according to the guardian UK reporting [TS]

  for the guardian UK and mean send mass [TS]

  clarifies liechtenstein for hire 70,000 [TS]

  dollars a night that is not a huge [TS]

  amount of money i bet you've gotten [TS]

  nearly that four shows sometimes you can [TS]

  rip liechtenstein for 70 grand [TS]

  liechtenstein rental skates like you [TS]

  know like in in the michael moore movie [TS]

  when you can like go to the benefit [TS]

  we're like a rich person in jail [TS]

  same deal here you go in and I think it [TS]

  includes a few things look at that looks [TS]

  like he tried the Snoop Dogg tried to do [TS]

  a music video [TS]

  they're on different and weird 35 [TS]

  thousand inhabitants [TS]

  wow that sounds pretty comfortable that [TS]

  sounds like a like a couple in a [TS]

  four-bedroom house that sounds very [TS]

  comfortable it's nice i mean there and [TS]

  it's not a poor country there's now [TS]

  there's no ghetto and Liechtenstein [TS]

  kinda mention one thing and passing this [TS]

  little circles back to something as I'm [TS]

  quoting here from this article visitors [TS]

  could also try cross-country skiing [TS]

  snowboarding and snowshoe hiking to [TS]

  explore the picturesque landscape so [TS]

  they do have skiing licks in [TS]

  Liechtenstein yeah i bet they do [TS]

  it's the whole country's on a mountain [TS]

  like I said yeah but I mean like they're [TS]

  putting that to use and I just sitting [TS]

  around staring the mound trying to [TS]

  figure out what to do twin peaks i think [TS]

  that the primary industry up there is [TS]

  chinese ladies selling San Francisco [TS]

  fleeces to people who refuse to believe [TS]

  that it's cold all the time up there you [TS]

  know women i heard just something very [TS]

  recently that they were building a big [TS]

  stem cell research center are like that [TS]

  kind of hug to the side of twin peaks is [TS]

  that not true [TS]

  are you kidding me no like a giant [TS]

  secret stem cell research laboratory [TS]

  laboratory territory now they're calling [TS]

  it that's up there on the other like [TS]

  hanging on the mountainside that seems [TS]

  to be I mean you know I follow sort of [TS]

  the stem cell right seen and that was [TS]

  all the all abuzz all the guys now I i [TS]

  followed the the Twin Peaks news i mean [TS]

  they have a newsletter article for the [TS]

  newsletter very small circulation [TS]

  it's in Chinese though it might be in my [TS]

  head [TS]

  oh the problems you want to read it [TS]

  again an hour later why is it always [TS]

  funny I don't want to be funny John [TS]

  that's racist [TS]

  well I mean it depends i mean its [TS]

  original but not racists racial traits [TS]

  show Rachel yeah like Rachel Rachel [TS]

  Weisz do you see you at the college like [TS]

  in your way right sort of okay well i [TS]

  was going to try and drop some kind of [TS]

  science but I remember if i'm [TS]

  remembering like what you guys duh that [TS]

  the university of washington which is [TS]

  your alma mater i believe ya you were [TS]

  when you deal with dewey decimal or like [TS]

  library of congress i'm guessing library [TS]

  of congress you at [TS]

  well yeah there are multiple libraries [TS]

  at the YouTube but hold on different [TS]

  systems that's like that's like that's [TS]

  crazy there well I think the I think the [TS]

  oh I think they have standardized it now [TS]

  ok now i would have to look this up and [TS]

  look this up after our visit god i wish [TS]

  i could give you some theraflu I mean [TS]

  that's just--that's awful John well I [TS]

  just drank a whole lot of robitussin [TS]

  which is something i don't know i don't [TS]

  like to take medicine now as as you know [TS]

  because it it goes against my core [TS]

  values that you're perfect [TS]

  well that I'm perfect and that also i [TS]

  can endure any pain and also that drugs [TS]

  are bad so that that's kind of a perfect [TS]

  storm right that's the but that's the [TS]

  the Trinity for me who I am perfect and [TS]

  drugs are bad experience more properly a [TS]

  storm of your perfection [TS]

  well you have to get close to really [TS]

  feel this feel the wind really get a [TS]

  good whiff of the i.m i agree with you i [TS]

  think i think it you're like a marine [TS]

  right you want you you tonight [TS]

  oh sorry yeah i mean not like the [TS]

  adjectives like you you cannot get the [TS]

  child cold enough for the bed hard [TS]

  enough right you like it or in my case [TS]

  talking shaped enough [TS]

  yeah well you know that's why I I [TS]

  originally started shaving without [TS]

  lather and then I then I progress to [TS]

  just shaving without water like that's [TS]

  like that's like a punishment in english [TS]

  movie isn't it no no because I read it [TS]

  in a special forces handbook i got a [TS]

  sister I found some old Special Forces [TS]

  handbook from the sixties and they said [TS]

  don't use lather because the Vietcong [TS]

  can smell the soap song will identify [TS]

  you in the jungle by the smell of your [TS]

  detergent and they'll find you and I [TS]

  said I don't that's not what I want I [TS]

  don't want the Vietcong finding me [TS]

  that's an enemy without a cold if you [TS]

  can smell that that's that's astounding [TS]

  well they're very attuned to their [TS]

  environment the vehicle and they hide so [TS]

  well that really in the pnw there might [TS]

  be Vietcong around you right now just [TS]

  waiting to get a whiff and go you know [TS]

  what that's an American wherever i go i [TS]

  assume there are Viacom I don't think [TS]

  that's bad i think i think that's it's [TS]

  self-preservation [TS]

  agreed I so anyway and stop using ladder [TS]

  because I didn't want to give off this [TS]

  scent that think that betrayed my my [TS]

  location and then after awhile I was [TS]

  like I'm just I'm shaving with with with [TS]

  water [TS]

  what would happen if I started shaving [TS]

  with cold water and they tried that and [TS]

  it was painful and then i said what [TS]

  would happen if I just stopped using [TS]

  water and just shaved dry and it's also [TS]

  painful but there's a there's a beauty [TS]

  to it there's a and then of course [TS]

  eventually I just stopped shaving that's [TS]

  what I was my question [TS]

  I mean if you're in Special Forces I [TS]

  appreciate that you're taking that time [TS]

  working that hard for us boo is [TS]

  everything you just wouldn't shave I i [TS]

  stopped shaving at a certain point i [TS]

  mean i always show you now you must [TS]

  actually people that the whatever they [TS]

  were there a time like airborne or just [TS]

  like all right well here's the problem [TS]

  with airborne they are they wouldn't [TS]

  shave that I you know I'm not not [TS]

  airborne but I'm not about Special [TS]

  Forces like the seals and LOL Cats [TS]

  higher up [TS]

  translate black ops kind of thing that's [TS]

  right those guys they wouldn't shave [TS]

  those guys would have beard they have [TS]

  Taliban beards if they could get away [TS]

  with it but they're part of a corporate [TS]

  structure and they have to make it they [TS]

  have to go back to the base and some [TS]

  candy-ass general has never been out in [TS]

  the shit storm probably tonight by [TS]

  jeffrey chance you know a he says I [TS]

  don't like how long your sideburns are [TS]

  and these guys have to go fucking shame [TS]

  it's it's it's ridiculous is you notice [TS]

  Dirty Dozen that's not thinking of Dirty [TS]

  Dozen Dirty Dozen is the one where [TS]

  James copper is that after i like it was [TS]

  Julie marvin lee marvin oh it was Lee [TS]

  Marvin Marvin is going to make i think [TS]

  george kennedy go and shave the guys [TS]

  because they grow beards isn't that the [TS]

  Dirty Dozen you think I'm gonna shave [TS]

  them dry shaving or whatever and and the [TS]

  keeper southern ones dad is in that he [TS]

  plays the crazy and it was crazy [TS]

  not as crazy as Telly Savalas Telly [TS]

  Savalas coach acting really crazy one [TS]

  that's a good movie [TS]

  it gets its use whatever it's a seems [TS]

  formula but yea it's going on [TS]

  well it's like stagecoach you know if [TS]

  you're stagecoach but you will see [TS]

  stagecoach you realize like this is I I [TS]

  realize it's another great westerns [TS]

  right to get the Shan High Noon very [TS]

  overrated in my opinion the stagecoach [TS]

  you watching oh this is where all this [TS]

  came from em when you watching like why [TS]

  this is such a cliche but it wasn't it [TS]

  was like 1939 I think that's what's [TS]

  happening the Dirty Dozen and it was the [TS]

  first one to have like bearded whack go [TS]

  that I got was talking about this the [TS]

  other night I i was a I mean I was an [TS]

  Anglophile as a kid right [TS]

  I really really liked England for some [TS]

  reason what era [TS]

  oh just you know England if you put if [TS]

  you put if you put a Union Jack on [TS]

  something i would buy it and I and in [TS]

  that sense I was a pro mod but it was [TS]

  but it was a long time before I was [TS]

  aware that it was just England you you [TS]

  know ye old castles and so forth and I [TS]

  think the reason for that is that every [TS]

  movie I saw as a kid there were the [TS]

  American guy there was always a team of [TS]

  guys right there was the American guy [TS]

  who was kind of officious and handsome [TS]

  and kind of a kind of penis and then [TS]

  there was some kind of ready guy from [TS]

  Yugoslavia who was like a who is good [TS]

  with a knife and then the british guy [TS]

  was always a little bit faggy and he [TS]

  carried a briefcase that was for [TS]

  explosives and he always had a he always [TS]

  had a quip and the other guys were [TS]

  always saying come on come on the [TS]

  cherries are coming and he would say [TS]

  just one more second old chap and I'll [TS]

  have this wide right up and then then he [TS]

  would blow up the bridge right it was [TS]

  always the british guy ended up the cool [TS]

  as a cucumber [TS]

  it was cool as a cucumber he had a [TS]

  little bit of it was ready mix [TS]

  Ali a little bitty thing to say right [TS]

  before he blew up the bridge and as a [TS]

  seven or eight year old boy that is the [TS]

  guy I wanted to be [TS]

  yeah i did not want to be there the [TS]

  American hero with the square jaw and I [TS]

  certainly didn't want to be the ratty [TS]

  guy with the knife and I didn't want to [TS]

  be the you know I didn't want to be the [TS]

  fight of the kind of guy that was a [TS]

  little twisted [TS]

  you know I wanted to be this wanted to [TS]

  be this slightly effeminate British [TS]

  explosives expert that had a little quip [TS]

  with it and took it right to the very [TS]

  edge and here came to Jerry's and all [TS]

  they were halfway across the bridge and [TS]

  boom that's like I'm i totally agree [TS]

  it's kind of like um why don't I i think [TS]

  if you took if you took out the part [TS]

  about being cool and having a bomb [TS]

  that's pretty much me like faggy [TS]

  briefcase and equip like kind of a kind [TS]

  of a smartass I think that was that was [TS]

  me and we accept the indie books instead [TS]

  of a bomb i was totally with you though [TS]

  I'm thinking like you get David Niven [TS]

  right you got Alec Guinness thank you [TS]

  yes Alec it's like and here's the thing [TS]

  this is where we tied together Alec [TS]

  Guinness in Bridge on the River Kwai [TS]

  right thats why u shape shape because [TS]

  you're fucking Alec Guinness and you're [TS]

  not gonna let that guy push you around [TS]

  right you shape because again can I just [TS]

  say English guys slaughterhouse-five the [TS]

  English guys in a slaughterhouse five [TS]

  they kept our wire they told they told [TS]

  billy pilgrim you got to keep your [TS]

  dignity and every morning I get up I do [TS]

  rigorous exercise and i evacuate my [TS]

  bowels that might be exact quote but [TS]

  it's close to be calm and carry on [TS]

  precisely precisely and you think that's [TS]

  part of your it seems like that might be [TS]

  part of your eat this maybe not about [TS]

  shaving maybe not about bombs maybe not [TS]

  about evacuating your bowels but there [TS]

  are certain things you set a standard [TS]

  for yourself and and that's something [TS]

  that that that's a light that [TS]

  illuminates the path for you [TS]

  it illuminates the path that's precisely [TS]

  true if i wake up in the morning and I [TS]

  think everything is nuts and i am also [TS]

  nuts the fact that i can go in and if I [TS]

  chose shave without using water gives me [TS]

  some clarity [TS]

  it enables me to say I can handle this [TS]

  whatever if there are Vietcong in my [TS]

  apple trees they're not going to smell [TS]

  me today [TS]

  because I shaved without using detergent [TS]

  it and you really shouldn't you should [TS]

  have been in Vietnam that well I thought [TS]

  about it I mean I what I think i would [TS]

  like to be any kind of i think i'd like [TS]

  my father before me I realized something [TS]

  about my dad as I was growing up I [TS]

  realized that he had read so many books [TS]

  about the CIA that in his imagination he [TS]

  was living a parallel life where he was [TS]

  in the CIA [TS]

  mhm and I i didn't i didn't know that [TS]

  until much later in life [TS]

  existential hypochondria we read about [TS]

  it is easy to read about the disease so [TS]

  much you're pretty sure you got it yeah [TS]

  right exactly and he had he thought he [TS]

  was he thought he might be having a i [TS]

  might as well have a second life he had [TS]

  read so many John licari books where you [TS]

  know where Smyly who walked across that [TS]

  the Teva river and handed some guys on [TS]

  microfiche that he believed in some way [TS]

  that he had done these things and that [TS]

  his actual life was just just the front [TS]

  Justin cover for this real life that he [TS]

  led since world war two [TS]

  he was a World War to vet my dad and i [TS]

  think i think that that that starting [TS]

  somewhere back then he just had this [TS]

  sort of i mean a very faint sense [TS]

  impression that he had actually been on [TS]

  a secret mission the whole time and for [TS]

  all I know he was he couldn't really [TS]

  tell with my dad maybe he was on a [TS]

  secret mission the whole time but i have [TS]

  the same thing i mean i've been i've [TS]

  been sharpening my knives for so many [TS]

  years that I i'm not sure that i haven't [TS]

  it's the chuck barris problem i'm not [TS]

  sure that I i will have been a spy this [TS]

  whole time [TS]

  that's it and that some I'm some sort of [TS]

  manchurian candidate waiting for the [TS]

  waiting for the right combination of of [TS]

  of whistles and tweets and i'm going to [TS]

  be activated [TS]

  and go to go to work mhm [TS]

  it's like it's like I thought your [TS]

  you've got I'm just saying you might [TS]

  have missed an opportunity here and [TS]

  maybe you maybe you're meant to feel [TS]

  like you missed an opportunity cuz i [TS]

  think you might be a kind of sleeper [TS]

  cell as you're describing like your [TS]

  father before you possibly maybe not you [TS]

  might be a sleeper cell you might be in [TS]

  better shape than you think you might [TS]

  actually be like what 60 you don't know [TS]

  it may be again maybe there are Frank [TS]

  Sinatra making you a little bit and [TS]

  you're going to go you know go off and [TS]

  take some people out you started [TS]

  loosening about now it just strikes me [TS]

  that you're paranoid almost to the point [TS]

  of being a diplomatic not you like guns [TS]

  your little paranoid and and I think [TS]

  it's fair to say you feel really [TS]

  underappreciated and often ask where's [TS]

  my parade [TS]

  mm so i don't i don't need email i'm [TS]

  just saying this this could be something [TS]

  to think about any metal mount ceiling [TS]

  mount well that's why it's why I cried [TS]

  through the truman show but I want to [TS]

  see the truman show i sat down and I was [TS]

  not a jim carrey fan I got dragged to [TS]

  this movie by some people that thought [TS]

  we were going to see that Ace Ventura [TS]

  pet detective [TS]

  they're like I'm not this jim carrey guy [TS]

  let's go see this new movie we all went [TS]

  to this man I was just you know it was [TS]

  either batter in alcoholics Anonymous [TS]

  meeting I was I'll go to the movie with [TS]

  you fine right and i sat down already [TS]

  po-faced just waiting for this to be a [TS]

  terrible movie where he he did his with [TS]

  the whole time and and the movie starts [TS]

  and before the credits or even over i'm [TS]

  balling I ball through the whole film [TS]

  and I can we get to the end and the [TS]

  lights come up and my friends are like [TS]

  oh that wasn't very funny and I just I [TS]

  stood up and said I have to go and when [TS]

  I walked the city streets for hours [TS]

  trying to figure out why the hell the [TS]

  truman show affected me so strongly and [TS]

  it's because i'm entering candidate [TS]

  hmm well it got a little bit too close [TS]

  little too close [TS]

  something guy waged out a little bit you [TS]

  saw the camera basically I did I did I [TS]

  saw the glint of the camera lens but [TS]

  then when I turned to look it was gone [TS]

  I could not put my finger on it now but [TS]

  the Clint yeah I felt that way about [TS]

  Synecdoche New York I can't even watch [TS]

  the trailer for that without crying I [TS]

  can't watch [TS]

  schenectady new york because it's a [TS]

  terrible movie now I 3accepted it is [TS]

  probably one of the greatest movies ever [TS]

  made and I people feel strongly about it [TS]

  it's like The Smiths of movies i I just [TS]

  I don't know if I get it is like the [TS]

  smiths in the sense that I do forgive my [TS]

  friends who are incorrect by not liking [TS]

  this messy [TS]

  I don't dismiss on Allison I like I'm on [TS]

  Shawn Nelson level but i like about [TS]

  colin Meloy level I don't think I like [TS]

  anything on a column while level know [TS]

  your loss [TS]

  yeah but he's realized i'm talking to [TS]

  you on a radio and i just took a bite of [TS]

  a peanut butter and jelly sandwich [TS]

  that's that's disadvantageous to the [TS]

  listener [TS]

  mhm because no one wants to hear a sick [TS]

  person sandwich stick person had a [TS]

  peanut butter sandwich into a microphone [TS]

  I think for yourself short that's [TS]

  terrible [TS]

  I i like the guy that there i'm actually [TS]

  I think there's probably one girl out [TS]

  there that would listen to meet up being [TS]

  understanding which into a microphone [TS]

  don't say oh yeah that won't because [TS]

  then that not now there's gonna be like [TS]

  five girls who like ones into it for [TS]

  more scared I'm gonna wonder i wonder [TS]

  what I was like all five more like [TS]

  that's me but one of them is like that's [TS]

  me [TS]

  I like ski bindings yeah and I can't [TS]

  even tell you what section this is a [TS]

  Naiad but like I just remember something [TS]

  like like the BN spent a lot of time [TS]

  like the biens first of all I had a hard [TS]

  time at first Learning Library of [TS]

  Congress because I come from the dewey [TS]

  decimal system but then pretty soon I [TS]

  look back on what the fuck is that what [TS]

  is doing decimal you've got to be [TS]

  fucking kidding me that's the most [TS]

  stupid like it just didn't make any [TS]

  sense you know and then i made a fancy [TS]

  school and alone the library of congress [TS]

  and never look back [TS]

  right that not the same thing with some [TS]

  procedures [TS]

  what's that it's like inches and miles [TS]

  somebody just somebody stuck their pinky [TS]

  out and said that's how long it is [TS]

  mm oh yes I understand it's not related [TS]

  to anything [TS]

  oh you mean inches and miles vs [TS]

  something like centimeters where there's [TS]

  something in a bell jar [TS]

  under this thing weighs a gram and [TS]

  that's the gold standard for measurement [TS]

  right right i can get behind that I also [TS]

  like the books I like we're near the [TS]

  beginning was pretty into that [TS]

  here's what I did and I did it from the [TS]

  beginning and this is another thing I [TS]

  learned from my dad [TS]

  I would walk into a library and I [TS]

  whatever their system was I would ignore [TS]

  it and I would go to the librarian and [TS]

  say here's what I need and then I would [TS]

  sit in the chair and read a magazine [TS]

  with the library and found all the [TS]

  things [TS]

  oh no it was no I no carts for you it's [TS]

  a certain kind of you have to have a [TS]

  certain kind of of authority to walk in [TS]

  as a child to the library and get the [TS]

  librarian to do research like you're [TS]

  like you're ordering a french dip or [TS]

  something you're just like you'll need [TS]

  these [TS]

  Henry exactly every house go you assume [TS]

  that they that that's what they want to [TS]

  be doing and then they most of the time [TS]

  they do so I would i spend a lot of time [TS]

  at libraries waiting for people to bring [TS]

  me the books that i passed for they seem [TS]

  eager to please which I like [TS]

  well I bread think about being a [TS]

  librarian i mean i've i've loved a lot [TS]

  of librarians and it's a job that I that [TS]

  I i think i would be i would excel at [TS]

  that girl that girl was a library and I [TS]

  think we are you Barbara Gordon oh yeah [TS]

  oh yeah that explains a lot of that [TS]

  can't make you love a library I don't [TS]

  know what will that girl [TS]

  oh haha i did say you know it's good i [TS]

  mean i think that's a big part of the [TS]

  liberal arts is learning you've learned [TS]

  how to use a library i think that's big [TS]

  but again back to the ski bindings I [TS]

  think that and I'll speak for myself I [TS]

  don't like being the way I am but I look [TS]

  down my nose now Dewey Decimal take my [TS]

  daughter to our little library here and [TS]

  yeah you know like what are most books [TS]

  right in their novels there's a lot of [TS]

  novels [TS]

  well that's a no that's a whole section [TS]

  that's called F really that fits the [TS]

  decimal system like that you did not [TS]

  occur to you when you put it together [TS]

  there's a whole bunch of things called [TS]

  novels you all shit we're gonna need [TS]

  something for novels in our side decimal [TS]

  system so let's create eff you eff it [TS]

  doubles you know it's like that story [TS]

  about the it's probably a urban myths [TS]

  often look it up but that story about [TS]

  the you know [TS]

  engineering firm architects that we're [TS]

  having the the grand opening [TS]

  groundbreaking you know and I'm sorry [TS]

  but the grand opening I guess for this [TS]

  big beautiful glass glass library that [TS]

  is finally complete and spices this is [TS]

  amazing [TS]

  I can't believe this is strong enough to [TS]

  hold that many tons of books and the [TS]

  guys I ran out of the building because [TS]

  they never thought about having books in [TS]

  there and it sounds like bullshit but [TS]

  it's a great story [TS]

  have you been to the Seattle the [TS]

  downtown Seattle library the ugly one [TS]

  thank you no no I'm sorry is it sits [TS]

  brutalist is a brutalist architecture [TS]

  what is it i thought was is it [TS]

  yeah i think it's the white one kind of [TS]

  weird white one it's not white it's it's [TS]

  made out of glass it's a rim cool house [TS]

  design and it's one of these it's one of [TS]

  these public buildings that was built to [TS]

  to give the city of seattle some [TS]

  julienne its crown so that tourists from [TS]

  around the world would come look at our [TS]

  REM cool house building and on the [TS]

  outside it looks like a piece of Road [TS]

  tar made out of glass that you know that [TS]

  has no no no two parallel lines and on [TS]

  the inside people come in you you're [TS]

  standing in the library and you have to [TS]

  move out of the way of the crowds of [TS]

  sheep Walker being heard through to look [TS]

  at your glorious you know architectural [TS]

  edifice hear that to me looks like a [TS]

  spaceport in a a a minor planet in the [TS]

  data bus system that has been neglected [TS]

  for 800 years and it's you know it's [TS]

  already the light bulbs are burning out [TS]

  and the stair treads are getting worn it [TS]

  already looks like shit but people have [TS]

  been hurt through this thing like it's [TS]

  some kind of thing they need to see [TS]

  through their lives to be complete and I [TS]

  stand in the in the lobby of it and I [TS]

  and I do this on a weekly basis I go [TS]

  there and I shake my fist and scream and [TS]

  top of my voice and say it's a goddamn [TS]

  library it does it should that where are [TS]

  the books you can't even see the books [TS]

  there are no books it's a it's a they [TS]

  tried to make it some this is from 2004 [TS]

  wells library Cass [TS]

  ya know it's a picture it's brand-new [TS]

  and here's the track is off [TS]

  Paul it's terrible here's the tragedy [TS]

  the original library that was on that [TS]

  step that ground huh was a carnegie [TS]

  library that was built it looks like oh [TS]

  my gosh chicago-style kinda it's [TS]

  gorgeous chicago-style like [TS]

  federal-style it's beautiful it looks [TS]

  like the San Francisco mint building [TS]

  right it's a giant arches it's double [TS]

  columns it's beautiful [TS]

  can you imagine reading a book in that [TS]

  building I'd read books that building [TS]

  like that is nice [TS]

  can't imagine it because they toured the [TS]

  freaking thing down before i was born in [TS]

  order to build the second incarnation of [TS]

  the Seattle library which looks like [TS]

  which looked like a regional post office [TS]

  it was built in that you know the [TS]

  original internationalist style which is [TS]

  an architectural style developed to [TS]

  compete with the Soviet Union in who can [TS]

  make the ugliest building in the world [TS]

  huh [TS]

  and it was a building that I swear to [TS]

  you you wouldn't even be with drive past [TS]

  at 60 times thinking I keep grabbing [TS]

  past this department of motor vehicles [TS]

  where is the library and that library [TS]

  was there my whole childhood and then [TS]

  they finally tore it down [TS]

  that was the library where you would get [TS]

  on an escalator and you'd be on the [TS]

  escalator and pretty soon you'll be on [TS]

  another escalator and pretty soon you'd [TS]

  be and you never saw a book once he was [TS]

  just you were going up escalators and [TS]

  down escalators so they built this room [TS]

  cool house building and it's one of [TS]

  these buildings in seattle if you say a [TS]

  bad word about this library seventy-five [TS]

  percent of the people in the town [TS]

  well will react as if you told them that [TS]

  their kid was ugly they get this look on [TS]

  his face like what no afraid Billy [TS]

  mommy's gonna send them into the corn [TS]

  oh that's a he's the genius it's a [TS]

  beautiful you know i just got to see the [TS]

  first fucking meeting I had with that [TS]

  guy i would see those eyeglasses and i [TS]

  would say thank you for your time [TS]

  you know I your man appreciates my [TS]

  glasses you can tell a lot about a [TS]

  person somebody walks in with glasses [TS]

  like that i would say no thanks and then [TS]

  what do you get out of it you got it [TS]

  looks like somebody's first was first [TS]

  semester and graphical arts class and [TS]

  they took something their first [TS]

  orthogonal drawing and made it out of [TS]

  chain-link fence it's an abortion of a [TS]

  building that [TS]

  ridiculous somewhere along the line here [TS]

  we have decided that if an architect if [TS]

  an architect doodles on a napkin that [TS]

  that is sufficient for him to be [TS]

  that's all the architect himself needs [TS]

  to do noodles on a napkin and then we're [TS]

  and then his team of young hungry [TS]

  assholes goes and converts that into [TS]

  some some kind of broken Rubik's Cube [TS]

  and then we spend 200 million dollars to [TS]

  put it in the center of our town [TS]

  I swear to you Merlin if you go to the [TS]

  Seattle library in pursuit of a book the [TS]

  the Sisyphean journey that you will go [TS]

  on to find the book you have to go [TS]

  through six or seven different its kind [TS]

  of different followers [TS]

  well yeah the books are the books are [TS]

  six stories up in a catacomb that you [TS]

  have that you can only access by [TS]

  elevator i'll come on [TS]

  yeah and then the rest of the library [TS]

  itself is like I say it's a spaceport [TS]

  you just keep waiting [TS]

  you keep waiting for the next barge the [TS]

  next transporter barge to you know CEOs [TS]

  to arrive and take all these people all [TS]

  these like you know the lobby full of [TS]

  tourists and homeless people [TS]

  masturbating and that they all just get [TS]

  hurt it onto the barge and off they go [TS]

  and ruin fills up again [TS]

  yeah I you know I you know more about [TS]

  all this stuff than I do i I don't I [TS]

  don't have a comfortable commenting [TS]

  accepted this is just really early awful [TS]

  i think empirically awful i just sent [TS]

  you a link to something I was at [TS]

  University of wisconsin-madison and they [TS]

  have a building there that I think [TS]

  you'll really enjoy [TS]

  it's called the it's called the moss [TS]

  humanities building and it's considered [TS]

  to be a is for better for such a great [TS]

  example of what they called brutalist [TS]

  architecture and boy is it ever brutal [TS]

  it's it first of all [TS]

  apparently it was designed and built a [TS]

  time when they're very worried about [TS]

  student riots so i'll show you as I'll [TS]

  show you in this photo you getting these [TS]

  in [TS]

  little robot logo links yeah I had [TS]

  something beautiful yes everybody's [TS]

  throat by today they built originally [TS]

  had like a ramp that Evel Knievel would [TS]

  use to jump something and then fall [TS]

  imagine that is kind of like around the [TS]

  building so make sure it's a bunker [TS]

  it's a kind of Bunker exactly like but [TS]

  you can see even in the picture i just [TS]

  sent you can see the mildew [TS]

  apparently this place was so poorly [TS]

  designed they put the music department [TS]

  in the basement and so the cellos are [TS]

  wilting think it's just pure like it's [TS]

  like that sick building syndrome all [TS]

  over the place like all this crap don't [TS]

  know none of the dorms at my college [TS]

  were built by idesign my IM Pei and who [TS]

  is another one of these yo-yos so I mean [TS]

  like we had to buy the if you want to [TS]

  replace the door and had to come from [TS]

  Germany you know some people here like [TS]

  the doors gonna change some toilet paper [TS]

  that six thousand dollars you know that [TS]

  they don't think this stuff through and [TS]

  it's heinous it's like willfully heinous [TS]

  you know it's like it's like you know [TS]

  the Duchamp journal thing except not [TS]

  people get to play cello in that that [TS]

  the universities all around the world [TS]

  were on America built this kind of [TS]

  architecture during that era university [TS]

  of washington the main square the [TS]

  University of Washington is literally [TS]

  designed so that you can turn a fire [TS]

  hose on a kid at one end of the square [TS]

  and hose him all the way across the [TS]

  square and off the university like it is [TS]

  designed to be able to fire hose project [TS]

  designed by terry gilliam basically a [TS]

  Bigfoot comes down they were building [TS]

  all these university campuses after [TS]

  basically they were forced to let blacks [TS]

  into the university's right this is they [TS]

  integrated the schools they were warrant [TS]

  and then they were like oh shit [TS]

  now there are blacks in the universities [TS]

  and what are they going to do they're [TS]

  going to start protesting we need to we [TS]

  need to open these room open this area [TS]

  up so we can really get a good shot with [TS]

  our fire hoses they hate fire hoses [TS]

  well that's true i mean basically all [TS]

  ethnic people hate fire hoses I think [TS]

  they think the black really don't like [TS]

  fire resistance from the time but they [TS]

  got a good reasons to not like the [TS]

  services I there are some there are some [TS]

  iconic pictures that would give us write [TS]

  a good reason whatsoever the red cool [TS]

  house of the firehose design was [TS]

  probably had that he probably called an [TS]

  idea board if I cut some things out of [TS]

  magazines you cut up some ribbons and [TS]

  shit cut like a Marmaduke put it up [TS]

  I find this very compelling argument for [TS]

  the functionality of the space [TS]

  shut up classes makes me so angry I [TS]

  don't you see how ugly that building is [TS]

  that it's terrible and i guarantee that [TS]

  they tore down a beautiful you know [TS]

  Gothic Revival lot of the library [TS]

  building or student center or something [TS]

  they tore it down thinking that it was [TS]

  obsolete and may and write that a tad [TS]

  bit every University ever went to I was [TS]

  always in I was always in some wing of [TS]

  the humanities where you know there are [TS]

  there are the practical sciences and [TS]

  then there are the humanities which are [TS]

  impractical and then as you move further [TS]

  clouds on the the fruity arts approve [TS]

  yards as you move further out in the [TS]

  humanities it gets less and less and [TS]

  less practical you go past the poetry [TS]

  department which is which one would [TS]

  think is the is the height or the apex [TS]

  or the the furthest out on the wing of [TS]

  the impracticality but no you can go [TS]

  further and that's where i lived at the [TS]

  University way out there and invariably [TS]

  the classrooms that they would assign us [TS]

  for our comparative history of ideas [TS]

  lecture halls were always in the science [TS]

  buildings that were slated for [TS]

  demolition because the English [TS]

  department has all the rooms at the [TS]

  school with the leaded glass windows and [TS]

  the and the book is your finger speakers [TS]

  crashing and the smell of formaldehyde [TS]

  you're trying to you're trying to think [TS]

  about Alexander Pope Oh way worse than [TS]

  that I mean you're out there where the [TS]

  wires are hanging from the ceiling and [TS]

  that there are Bunsen burners that have [TS]

  been left on because if they turn them [TS]

  off the gas will weaken the building [TS]

  will explode so we have the fire [TS]

  department [TS]

  it's like it's like a really dangerous [TS]

  italian restaurant and these are the [TS]

  rooms allocate for the you know for the [TS]

  comparative history of ideas because the [TS]

  because those buildings were built for [TS]

  two years ago at the data that goes with [TS]

  the height of technology at the time now [TS]

  they've fallen apart the science [TS]

  departments are having new buildings [TS]

  built for them and say what is it just [TS]

  me or are the science people always [TS]

  getting a new building they get new [TS]

  buildings science people get new [TS]

  buildings of my sculptures for that [TS]

  building before the throw a bone to the [TS]

  literature people if you went to [TS]

  Stanford right now and declared an [TS]

  English major [TS]

  I bet you they would just chain you to a [TS]

  bike rack [TS]

  no yeah we have 11 quanta type and where [TS]

  this little one of those little desks [TS]

  not even a full desk it's like each [TS]

  government put your left arm on it [TS]

  yeah and everyone has to share it one [TS]

  death while while there while they're [TS]

  busy busy [TS]

  scraping the land in order to build a [TS]

  new I don't know applied sciences [TS]

  building right and that's that [TS]

  universities are just they don't care [TS]

  about books show up ago we won't need a [TS]

  new hydrogen collider and you go sounds [TS]

  great and somebody goes it was a [TS]

  hydrogen collide and like don't be a [TS]

  dick its cycles it's not you know what [TS]

  to me this is the Dewey Decimal people [TS]

  this is the REM koolhaas people we've [TS]

  seen this again and again John and it's [TS]

  the way people think I think I mentioned [TS]

  this to you that mas building is the [TS]

  humanities building cellos cold wet [TS]

  cellos nobody likes a wet cello look [TS]

  good you going to put the thought that [TS]

  through you get some guy here is sitting [TS]

  around doing whatever whatever organic [TS]

  chemistry is like that couldn't be in a [TS]

  wet building [TS]

  let's see this is the this is the thumb [TS]

  literally in the eye of the liberal arts [TS]

  this is what we're dealing with [TS]

  and I think this is why the the Congress [TS]

  people are always going to be the duties [TS]

  the congressman in that library of [TS]

  congress occurs [TS]

  that's the look terrible on a jacket [TS]

  believe what looks like the consulate [TS]

  cons locks the locks honors honors locks [TS]

  of the locks always great like the [TS]

  Socialists in what is which one is that [TS]

  as something that has Sen hmm well in my [TS]

  high school the lotions could call the [TS]

  lotion some lotion the lotions versus [TS]

  the duties [TS]

  so I think it Dewey ram cool house to me [TS]

  like he acts like he's a lush but I [TS]

  think he's totally a dewy I think he [TS]

  comes into guys wrap black dot block he [TS]

  comes in this picture is just making me [TS]

  angrier and angrier i will post this is [TS]

  shown it's it's him bending over [TS]

  he was some kind of fucking german Steve [TS]

  Jobs these goofy glasses and he's [TS]

  looking at this little model I even hate [TS]

  looking at the model of the Seattle [TS]

  library its it without daily basis in [TS]

  with the kids Loescher doing [TS]

  mm he's very sensitive and that makes [TS]

  the mud do we probably a dewy mm I think [TS]

  if you've been doing the kind of the [TS]

  children moisture that people like you [TS]

  and I have you noticed a Richard Hugo [TS]

  big Loesch super-low see him do it a lot [TS]

  of cello moisture [TS]

  40-44 here where there's the problem [TS]

  with losses though who don't know how to [TS]

  stand up for ourselves you know there [TS]

  was decided that that campus and i'm [TS]

  sure some Tweety some tweety tweety [TS]

  fucking te guy came in some twenty do he [TS]

  came in and said well I'm actually I i [TS]

  think we would like some windows in the [TS]

  music department and they're like sounds [TS]

  name all you're saying is he was too [TS]

  little too moist of a lush they're all [TS]

  too moist he didn't do we up to do is [TS]

  it's just like the Republicans right [TS]

  this is the conservative not to go [TS]

  political but the thing is does those [TS]

  guys stick together right [TS]

  well there was a time here not to go [TS]

  back to my dad again I'm always talking [TS]

  about my but you cannot talk too much [TS]

  about your dad as far as I'm concerned [TS]

  but my dad was a was part of an era [TS]

  where where he was a vigorous liberal [TS]

  democrat you know what I mean he was a [TS]

  Democrat and a liberal and heat and he [TS]

  defended those principles with a kind of [TS]

  with a kind of vigor that is utterly [TS]

  absent from that wing of the political [TS]

  spectrum now you know my dad would get [TS]

  into fights in bars on the waterfront [TS]

  over liberal politics you know [TS]

  liberalism was was a thing that was that [TS]

  that that it was muscular is very [TS]

  muscular Union see [TS]

  you had rankings you have you had you [TS]

  had the sort of people who but who if if [TS]

  they didn't believe in communism exactly [TS]

  they did believe that social justice was [TS]

  sweeping the world and it was an active [TS]

  and and muscular political philosophy [TS]

  and that now is completely gone her or [TS]

  anyone who has anyone who has a modicum [TS]

  of liberal thought in their mind has [TS]

  been so so a cultured to thinking that [TS]

  they need to apologize for themselves [TS]

  for existing first and foremost you know [TS]

  I'm sorry pardon me I i know that this [TS]

  is just my opinion but here [TS]

  here are some ideas that i that i had [TS]

  and i am sorry if they offend you [TS]

  this this kind of like constant [TS]

  reflexive apology [TS]

  it is so panty wasted was very [TS]

  undignified it's undignified and end it [TS]

  and it presumes that your ideas aren't [TS]

  strong it presumes that you're that [TS]

  you're that you're the tenants of your [TS]

  philosophy are worth our were standing [TS]

  and and and actually you know putting [TS]

  your hand up about but yeah you get to [TS]

  be like a creepy kid in junior high is [TS]

  always getting his ass kicked and so [TS]

  then he becomes very you know receding [TS]

  around people but he's fine [TS]

  you know like fucking a cat and killing [TS]

  it becomes things right so I all the [TS]

  muscularity his personality goes into [TS]

  cat fucking and cat homicide think I [TS]

  think that's a capital cat offense that [TS]

  leads to harder crimes heart you can get [TS]

  a seeking a super-hard crimes out of a [TS]

  cat i think that's that's where it [TS]

  starts that you start to look for the [TS]

  people who are killing the cats you're [TS]

  going to find a seriously failed Loesch [TS]

  you know where you find those fortune [TS]

  all sure they make a picture of it [TS]

  yeah I I i actually agree with you and [TS]

  if I as I don't you know I'm not a [TS]

  physician but I think right now have you [TS]

  considered the fact that you are so ill [TS]

  right now that you get 60 hard could be [TS]

  somewhat related to to tell the boys [TS]

  jure maybe you've been in too many maybe [TS]

  you got sick building syndrome [TS]

  you got the same problem is the people [TS]

  in the random awesome massey humanity [TS]

  oh my god is writing the name moss sea [TS]

  moss but it's spelled with an e on its [TS]

  it says it right on there could you [TS]

  fucking only a do [TS]

  would name a humanities building massey [TS]

  oh it's literally a thumb in the eye of [TS]

  the liberal on Paul Massey it's so wet [TS]

  that has a moss [TS]

  so you're saying i have some kind of [TS]

  congenital black mold syndrome from [TS]

  spending all those years in the basement [TS]

  of humanity's buildings i'm saying you [TS]

  start out and think of it as a [TS]

  concentric circle at the mill you got [TS]

  all the duties you agree that [TS]

  everything's okey-dokey and let's talk [TS]

  about chemistry whatever that means you [TS]

  start moving on concentric circles you [TS]

  go further and further way right get [TS]

  somebody teaching Conrad and that people [TS]

  put up with that you go a little further [TS]

  you got the people intelligent bad word [TS]

  said about Conrad see that everybody [TS]

  agrees with that but you go a little bit [TS]

  further out i think you get to the [TS]

  poetry department where everything is [TS]

  made out of feathers and memories of [TS]

  chicken soup and let you go a little bit [TS]

  further out and hearing the comparative [TS]

  idea section [TS]

  yeah everything's wet you're chained to [TS]

  a bike rack is not a fucking ram cool [TS]

  house and seitan mm you know I'm saying [TS]

  you're looking across the campus at the [TS]

  glittering towers of the the new physics [TS]

  building right and you've got then [TS]

  you've got constant junk divide us to [TS]

  bring the assumptions like Brigadoon and [TS]

  you keep all your box right next to you [TS]

  because you don't want to have to go up [TS]

  six stories fucking REM koolhaas put in [TS]

  an elevator [TS]

  thanks for a cool house with a gram he [TS]

  touch [TS]

  absolutely okay and what do they speak [TS]

  is it looked and finally speak Dutch [TS]

  no they don't speak Dutch and [TS]

  Liechtenstein which was that was at [TS]

  Luxembourg but well you know in [TS]

  Luxembourg there's just a tiny tiny tiny [TS]

  little bit of dutch ish German you know [TS]

  that there's a there's a there's a [TS]

  there's a there's such a thing is there [TS]

  such a thing John really as duchess [TS]

  German there is there's a continuum from [TS]

  German to duck swear that if you're in [TS]

  let's say you're in Venters bike in the [TS]

  Netherlands you're not even trying at [TS]

  this point and you're speaking Dutch [TS]

  with such a German accent in inventors [TS]

  bike that you more intelligible to the [TS]

  Germans across the border than you are [TS]

  to the to the Dutch say in 10 hog [TS]

  the language is very it's a bit its I'm [TS]

  gonna find him I'm gonna find a place [TS]

  that sells maps and I'm gonna buy one [TS]

  and I'm gonna I'm gonna listen to this [TS]

  mhm and all yes I think you're thinking [TS]

  of the valley near farfegnugen know how [TS]

  i look at this time let's design design [TS]

  61.7 a square miles luxembourg a bulky [TS]

  998 square miles Luxembourg's got farms [TS]

  I mean Luxembourg's a proper country [TS]

  more than one it's a dookie let's be [TS]

  honest right it's a teaching but but say [TS]

  it back in the old days right yet a [TS]

  bishop had a bishop in monster which is [TS]

  in Germany but that Bishop was [TS]

  responsible for for ministering to his [TS]

  flock throughout all of what they called [TS]

  moon stir lond which is this area that [TS]

  encompass Germany but also part of the [TS]

  netherlands and part of luxembourg [TS]

  little bit of what's now belgium so this [TS]

  Bishop was the head ecclesiastical [TS]

  Authority but also sort of the because [TS]

  the Big Cheese government she's doing do [TS]

  your lush the bishop and while there [TS]

  were several bishops of monster but you [TS]

  could be either one [TS]

  it was my camera mmm i'm gonna say that [TS]

  they were all i'm going to say they were [TS]

  well [TS]

  oh yeah i think you could be either huh [TS]

  IC yeah i see a political I see a [TS]

  political religious person is frequently [TS]

  being a dewy well sure but some of them [TS]

  some of them were were total OSHA's I [TS]

  mean you know you get you yet you had to [TS]

  be a bean counter [TS]

  mmm minutes it's like it's like the [TS]

  Pope's write some of the popes were poor [TS]

  total lotions the board Gia's or [TS]

  whatever they were they were it was date [TS]

  raped from head to toe and then I [TS]

  appreciate the Borgias where the people [TS]

  and analyse and now i'm pretty sure make [TS]

  it up I think you're talking about the [TS]

  people in the in Florence isn't the [TS]

  Borgias you don't think there were bored [TS]

  you Pope's who's the guy to play piano [TS]

  that's Victor Victor uh structure port [TS]

  or and has nothing he has nothing to do [TS]

  with senor wences is that right [TS]

  I don't think he does know that's a [TS]

  difference [TS]

  seemed like they should have worked [TS]

  together at some point I think they were [TS]

  both on the Dean Martin program if it's [TS]

  Sullivan they're both mine and sultan [TS]

  episode 15 plus they're both amusing in [TS]

  a way that made a lot more sense to our [TS]

  grandparents i love senor wences still [TS]

  picture board he was a great piano [TS]

  player he was a comedian that was that [TS]

  was very amusing very amusing you you [TS]

  could you be very easy a funny guy and [TS]

  then you say oh look at piano and you [TS]

  sit down and you dazzle your guests no [TS]

  coward noel coward right Steve and I owe [TS]

  you [TS]

  yok and maybe you know quarter before [TS]

  the horse fell on him Cole Porter's [TS]

  yours no more than 180 I like that man [TS]

  horse right now he said he was stuck [TS]

  under a horse he wrote a song with a [TS]

  horse on it [TS]

  did you know that no I didn't know that [TS]

  but I didn't know that his house in in [TS]

  connecticut was for sale [TS]

  Cole Porter's house you could buy it huh [TS]

  it's like a regular house is like a cool [TS]

  house no it's a cool very cool house but [TS]

  now i'm sorry the house right that [TS]

  generally cool house [TS]

  yeah you know there's just so much see [TS]

  this is this is what george orwell [TS]

  talked about in that essay i'm just [TS]

  saying cool house he put school in his [TS]

  name and house in his name and now you [TS]

  can't help but thinking of him when you [TS]

  see an actual cool house was bullshit [TS]

  you can I just say it's funny enough to [TS]

  me that the people who are so obsessed [TS]

  with these three digit numbers are the [TS]

  duties when it's our cellos that truly [TS]

  have the dew on them aren't playing [TS]

  cello III III think I i I'm not sure I [TS]

  could I couldn't Pepsi challenge even a [TS]

  violin or viola you know but I'm just [TS]

  saying this is partly ok this is this is [TS]

  what the lake I talks about right this [TS]

  is this is it all gets very confusing [TS]

  because those guys stick together we're [TS]

  confused in moist right this is what [TS]

  happened to Gore because of Florida you [TS]

  know we don't stick to our guns and I [TS]

  just think it's a shame to have to walk [TS]

  so far to think about ideas that's not [TS]

  right [TS]

  you're paying tuition like anybody else [TS]

  right well but this this goes back to [TS]

  all the complaining all the liberal [TS]

  complaining which is that at the at the [TS]

  at the core of it if you have you [TS]

  support capitalism if you believe that [TS]

  capitalism is the highest form of of [TS]

  economic evolution [TS]

  you believe the capitalism is ultimately [TS]

  value neutral or good even even better [TS]

  than value-neutral good if you believe [TS]

  capitalism trends toward good then all [TS]

  this stuff just follows from it you [TS]

  can't you can't argue against the [TS]

  comparative history of ideas being put [TS]

  into a wet mop bucket at the bottom of a [TS]

  well without without ultimately having [TS]

  to say what have the comparative history [TS]

  of ideas graduates ever produced in [TS]

  terms of money that would enable us to [TS]

  keep the lights on at this university [TS]

  and the answer is nothing and so here's [TS]

  your wet mop bucket [TS]

  mhm have a peanut butter and jelly [TS]

  sandwich and trying to get over your [TS]

  cold if you if you believe in capitalism [TS]

  and you believe that all things are [TS]

  being gradually sucked into the to the [TS]

  orbit of the black hole of capital [TS]

  capitalist thought then you have to have [TS]

  you have to prove have to prove with [TS]

  some kind of bottom line what did this [TS]

  urn us what it does make for us [TS]

  what did this create any wealth for [TS]

  metrics metrics and you cannot and and [TS]

  that's the problem with us pantywaists [TS]

  we stand and say but what about the [TS]

  wealth of ideas and there's somebody [TS]

  special in that voice there's someone [TS]

  with the best classic classic lotion [TS]

  voice yeah what about the wealth of [TS]

  ideas and the guy with the aluminum [TS]

  baseball bat who started a company to [TS]

  manufacture aluminum baseball bats wax [TS]

  you on the back of the head your back in [TS]

  the mop bucket and life goes merrily [TS]

  along with something something in the [TS]

  center of campus is very fine with the [TS]

  Erlenmeyer flask which literally have [TS]

  numbers right on them they can count [TS]

  they know how much is in this titration [TS]

  whatever the fuck that means you come to [TS]

  us we're sitting with a big free ebook [TS]

  you go on 30 pages and they say what [TS]

  does that literally even mean right does [TS]

  it literally what does it literally mean [TS]

  you know and they want to look at thirty [TS]

  percent of pie graph and you know i'm [TS]

  looking at this book it's a pretty big [TS]

  book and they say they say that well [TS]

  what is the value that please get back [TS]

  in your mop bucket getting your mop [TS]

  bucket boy that i have this experience [TS]

  every time I go to a professional sports [TS]

  game witches instead it's a wednesday [TS]

  afternoon [TS]

  I'm sitting them in the Mariners stadium [TS]

  watching a baseball game and I look [TS]

  around and if the team is doing well if [TS]

  the team's even doing it passably well I [TS]

  mean the Mariners never really do well [TS]

  but if they're doing passably well I [TS]

  look around it's three o'clock in the [TS]

  afternoon on Wednesday and there's [TS]

  40,000 people in the stadium and I think [TS]

  what was the last time there was a rock [TS]

  concert in this town that had 40,000 [TS]

  people at it in the middle of the day in [TS]

  the middle of the day on a wednesday and [TS]

  the answer is well Kenny Chesney is the [TS]

  last time that that happened and then I [TS]

  ask it again [TS]

  Kenny Chesney not a rock artist was the [TS]

  last rock concert that had 40,000 people [TS]

  in the middle of Seattle and in all [TS]

  honesty i think the last time that [TS]

  happened was well maybe you too but [TS]

  before that it was the rolling stones of [TS]

  the kingdom in 1975 I was gonna say [TS]

  pearl jam i can see Pearl Jam or seven [TS]

  minutes sound is the Pearl Jam drawing a [TS]

  bunch of people in the middle of the day [TS]

  at the height of their powers perhaps [TS]

  business program station on satellite [TS]

  radio [TS]

  did you know that i'm sure there is a [TS]

  priest ringing I'll bring Bruce [TS]

  Springsteen Elvis Grateful Dead Pearl [TS]

  Jam has their own station on a satellite [TS]

  think the program's put out 10 10 [TS]

  think the program's put out 10 10 [TS]

  albums or something I mean you could you [TS]

  could play you can have a pearl jam [TS]

  radio station that never played the same [TS]

  song to thank you think they're out in [TS]

  1000 was at their second album the [TS]

  second i was ten worst album the first [TS]

  up was 10 [TS]

  yeah let me down hits the bull bear bear [TS]

  breathe i don't know i don't like saying [TS]

  that but just sometimes we'll just be [TS]

  driving around go [TS]

  I mean yo son I don't not happy doing [TS]

  that but it just comes out i think they [TS]

  could probably do it [TS]

  the other question Jon I know you don't [TS]

  have a job you I mean you have a job of [TS]

  a kind that you're an extremely busy [TS]

  rock artist [TS]

  what do you think most people do for a [TS]

  living do you think they're playing [TS]

  hooky from something else to come and [TS]

  watch sports other sports people because [TS]

  many costs money to go to the the King [TS]

  down the mirror dome [TS]

  I know but they're all down there all [TS]

  down at those offices and their boss [TS]

  also wants to go to the game [TS]

  it's like they're to go to a mariners [TS]

  game in the afternoon is not to be [TS]

  skipping work it is to be it is to say i [TS]

  am and i am someone who i am a [TS]

  Renaissance man [TS]

  kaalia kaalia de yeah not only my work [TS]

  but I'm also us i'm also going to the [TS]

  sports i am like a Greek god I i do the [TS]

  work and I do the sports and then I do [TS]

  that I go to the movies and I have all [TS]

  of the I have everything I need I am all [TS]

  the culture that I need I have a wife [TS]

  we eat food we are complete [TS]

  mhm and it's it's it's we who are not at [TS]

  the sports game [TS]

  who are the the faulty ones we are the [TS]

  broken ones who are not living according [TS]

  to a platonic ideal because we shun the [TS]

  sports and we shun the well in my case [TS]

  the wife [TS]

  mhm mhm and we shun the work and so what [TS]

  are we but a but a a sick sick sick and [TS]

  under hail one hearty denizen of mop [TS]

  buckets [TS]

  [Music] [TS]