Roderick on the Line

Ep. 08: "The Reptilian Behind the Long Pig Mask"


  hello hi John how are you hi Merlin [TS]

  Merlin Mann six minutes six minutes six [TS]

  minutes John rock here [TS]

  nothing i guess i missed your voice I'll [TS]

  god i miss yours too I kind of make a [TS]

  note here I get more homework I don't [TS]

  prepare for msu to get out that you [TS]

  don't prepare hm i just opened a whole [TS]

  new thing index cards never written [TS]

  anything down for today somebody ask me [TS]

  does he'll use the index cards back said [TS]

  does you really use index cards really [TS]

  does this Stephen Hawking really need to [TS]

  talk like that is that just to get laid [TS]

  oh that that wall in your office which [TS]

  is just 10,000 index cards all taped to [TS]

  the wall with posted notes and other [TS]

  gear on a whiteboard and it's a string [TS]

  with different colored string [TS]

  represented really old ships [TS]

  yeah hence the tensile very distracting [TS]

  that's the other thing is you see it on [TS]

  the seat blowing through a park and you [TS]

  can't you have to chase it you have to [TS]

  have it here see that American Beauty [TS]

  movie remember that i did see it i [TS]

  resisted seeing it and then and then had [TS]

  to cave because it was all anybody was [TS]

  talking about at the time and having [TS]

  seen it I realized I was right [TS]

  apparently I saw it on the ice on a date [TS]

  and I I remember thinking oh this is [TS]

  really really good and then the more I [TS]

  thought about it the less i thought was [TS]

  really great then i saw it again and [TS]

  it's as well as movies like movies I [TS]

  watched in college like I don't incur [TS]

  the wrath here but like like some burn [TS]

  films where it seemed very important or [TS]

  Kenneth Anger like things i watch the [TS]

  time who this is very important not to [TS]

  buy my own that was a little silly [TS]

  yeah it felt like a donnie darko to me [TS]

  oh you're not a dark oh no I but Donnie [TS]

  Darko I liked but Donnie Darko didn't [TS]

  well Donnie Darko didn't have to [TS]

  spacey in it i find it very hard to to [TS]

  put Kevin Spacey and a very important [TS]

  film in the same on the same [TS]

  three-by-five notecard Oh rewind year [TS]

  and you're not press facie it's not that [TS]

  I'm not pro spacey it's just that Kevin [TS]

  Spacey as a movie star not an artiste 01 [TS]

  write that down [TS]

  it's good to come back to that got an [TS]

  auteur ok that's an extra extra at the [TS]

  end artiste is alright yeah next to you [TS]

  at the end of parties and actually while [TS]

  you're at it put an extra at the end of [TS]

  our tour to her astray isn't that that [TS]

  techno band that plays powerbooks that's [TS]

  not to actually share or share Auto [TS]

  share what they called a tourĂ© is a guy [TS]

  actually who lives up here is a sous [TS]

  chef at a restaurant I go to a lot i [TS]

  think that you think that movie a4a [TS]

  wrath of God which we never did round [TS]

  back to actually make another pot and [TS]

  make another note about that you're [TS]

  playing cards one that's of God fresh [TS]

  pack of 100 know what was the other [TS]

  thing then there's another term like [TS]

  that confuses me I have to remember it [TS]

  on our tour operator I see what you're [TS]

  saying [TS]

  soccer yeah soccer yeah oh yeah oh that [TS]

  you know I'm saying that and Huck it's [TS]

  not not a adult a trucker teacher [TS]

  ultra-reliable following went there a [TS]

  lot of bands coming out like Iceland and [TS]

  Finland with funny names orders a busy [TS]

  it is this is a band [TS]

  yeah well you know Ben's from Iceland [TS]

  and Finland always have funny names it [TS]

  was just that the rest of us weren't [TS]

  aware of them did they know they were [TS]

  silly [TS]

  well have you met many people from [TS]

  Iceland I i'm starting to think it's a [TS]

  trying to get might be some kind of a [TS]

  when I caught a collective hysterical [TS]

  like what's called let's go like when [TS]

  everybody thinks they have pox or [TS]

  believes in orgasms for women like with [TS]

  everything where it turns out that it's [TS]

  it's something that we mostly it wasn't [TS]

  real [TS]

  right so it's the collective unconscious [TS]

  all all all freaking us out yes I don't [TS]

  kinda like that that whole tulip thing [TS]

  but Iceland does exist and the people [TS]

  there do believe in ohms [TS]

  and they they do you think they'd let [TS]

  you know more even more than believing [TS]

  in ohms people in Iceland believe in [TS]

  cute and when you meet them in real life [TS]

  they have that kind of they have that [TS]

  Scandinavian like standoffishness that [TS]

  makes you think like oh these people are [TS]

  super deep right but then when they [TS]

  start talking about gnomes and you [TS]

  realize oh no they're just scandinavian [TS]

  Pope's so it [TS]

  hmm it yeah I might need to get some [TS]

  more color thread i got a lot [TS]

  ok so and it was was who is it Eric the [TS]

  Red somebody went up there and said I'm [TS]

  gonna fuck with everybody because i'm [TS]

  going to call the one that's nice i see [TS]

  and I'm gonna call the one that's I see [TS]

  green and did that work did that really [TS]

  work [TS]

  absolutely did people i think you know [TS]

  even when I was a kid into the Greenland [TS]

  sounded nice and Iceland sounded [TS]

  terrible get precisely precisely exactly [TS]

  the same thing would be kind of like me [TS]

  and like when the when the Dutch Holland [TS]

  people the ones that it's that speaker [TS]

  the holidays the holidays it's like when [TS]

  they named it done nice York things do [TS]

  nice nice answer damn yeah New Amsterdam [TS]

  is slightly change it i can't say that [TS]

  again i slam you get green land and out [TS]

  what is back now we can google it and [TS]

  say alright [TS]

  iceland screen and Greenland's ice but [TS]

  back in the old days you know you know [TS]

  you're standing at the at the port in [TS]

  manchester and you had to go on one boat [TS]

  all right at the only wikipedia was at [TS]

  the Library of Alexandria which I think [TS]

  burned down sometimes without twenties [TS]

  thirties actually it was burned and then [TS]

  there was an earthquake and uh and then [TS]

  it sank into the ocean now is that [TS]

  different from the Hanging Gardens of [TS]

  Babylon had a cure song [TS]

  well both of those things well the [TS]

  Hanging Gardens of Babylon are actually [TS]

  one of the seven ancient wonders of the [TS]

  world now just are you positive that [TS]

  they exist is as if you check this did [TS]

  you fact check the the hanging i'm [TS]

  pretty sure i'm going to go on record [TS]

  and say that the Hanging Gardens of [TS]

  Babylon were real [TS]

  ok the library at Alexandria also pretty [TS]

  sure that it was real [TS]

  is that why they invented calculus I'm i [TS]

  think the Arabs invented calculus [TS]

  and the girls to say that and when ya [TS]

  think you're supposed to say that when [TS]

  the library was at Alexandria [TS]

  little-known fact tune it was those were [TS]

  those were Greek sexually [TS]

  oh we know what they're dealing with now [TS]

  yeah the Greeks they didn't invent [TS]

  calculus they can't even balance the [TS]

  checkbook they think they think you [TS]

  covered in making this is an acceptable [TS]

  appetizer [TS]

  yeah the Greeks what you call that a [TS]

  dessert that's just some tissue paper [TS]

  and brown sugar right reserved ignores [TS]

  the whole concept of low locos now is it [TS]

  like hanging plants and the gardener's [TS]

  the entire garden literally hanging like [TS]

  from ropes or colored yarn how does how [TS]

  does the garden hang the Hanging Gardens [TS]

  of Babylon I think we're that the entire [TS]

  city was everybody had like window boxes [TS]

  with with flowers in them [TS]

  oh that sounds lovely that sounds like [TS]

  that sounds like that the country of [TS]

  dutch where they also had the tulip [TS]

  hysteria [TS]

  this is all very related if you have the [TS]

  right kind of colored yarn the tulip [TS]

  hysteria [TS]

  oh sure there's that was like the there [TS]

  was the example everybody used during [TS] days right because suddenly [TS]

  everybody decided I I there's no way i [TS]

  can look this up anywhere but i'm pretty [TS]

  sure that they suddenly it costs a lot [TS]

  of money to get tulip bulbs right in [TS]

  recent times are back in the old days I [TS]

  don't remember it was either a couple [TS]

  decades ago or the 1400 thought it was a [TS]

  long time ago and and suddenly and then [TS]

  that cause hysteria in the same way that [TS]

  you know people wanted sites with fake [TS]

  money in the lake late nineties for [TS]

  joining show that well that's even [TS]

  better when we get that market panic [TS]

  yeah yeah okay sure and then everybody [TS]

  you know buys low sell high [TS]

  that's sure sure you had to have tulips [TS]

  I remember this now network Buffett must [TS]

  spend years telling people it's not [TS]

  pronounced Buffay that was just driving [TS]

  him nuts at a certain point I would show [TS]

  it to change that at some point I was in [TS]

  a rich man for a long time and I think [TS]

  from that point on no one ever made that [TS]

  mistake again [TS]

  that's right i mean you learn once and [TS]

  cut once in popular twice he says he [TS]

  says that the key is the bio and other [TS]

  people are selling and someone other [TS]

  people are buying and I think that's the [TS]

  kind of statement that makes so much [TS]

  sense a lot of people don't understand [TS]

  it either is a tricky think there's a [TS]

  trick [TS]

  it really does it also have that helps [TS]

  to have 1 billion dollars to buy when [TS]

  people are selling and $1,000,000,000 1 [TS]

  billion shares of stock to sell when [TS]

  people are buying seeing an extra clip [TS]

  in the belt [TS]

  yeah i'm saying if you have one thousand [TS]

  dollars to invest to whom buying when [TS]

  people are selling and selling people [TS]

  when people are buying is not isn't [TS]

  gonna make you rich [TS]

  I get it you know everything jack every [TS]

  blackjack strategy works as long as you [TS]

  have a literal unlimited amount of money [TS]

  yeah right i mean see it so you so you [TS]

  make a 20-percent on your investment [TS]

  congratulations now you have twelve [TS]

  hundred dollars get back to work [TS]

  wait for the next market swaying and [TS]

  invest again [TS]

  wow what a percent ok I want to come [TS]

  back now alexandra also they had a bunch [TS]

  of books that got lost there [TS]

  well yeah the library burned and then [TS]

  sank into the ocean so is the earthquake [TS]

  a lot of stuff got lost yeah that's kind [TS]

  of a perfect storm for librarians and [TS]

  it's not just about you know talking [TS]

  talking loud and smudging the covers [TS]

  you're saying literally it did it [TS]

  explode first and then it sounds like [TS]

  they had a pretty rough time as good it [TS]

  was burned it was burned in the course [TS]

  of the city of Alexandria being sacked [TS]

  and war which is a bad thing to burn the [TS]

  library but it's what they did the [TS]

  old-timey people because they didn't [TS]

  appreciate that the collected wisdom of [TS]

  the Greeks and Latins was contained [TS]

  there and i want to open an old wound [TS]

  John but is there a chance is there any [TS]

  to using this is literally in Greece and [TS]

  it is named after the guy who cut the [TS]

  knot it's Alexandria it's increase right [TS]

  no Alexandria in Egypt but it was [TS]

  controlled but Greeks at the time this [TS]

  is very similar to the Iceland and [TS]

  Greenland problem i think if you start [TS]

  naming things the wrong thing and then [TS]

  putting them in different countries [TS]

  potentially other comments i think it's [TS]

  extremely confusing [TS]

  great well it's named after Alexander [TS]

  who at the you know sort of made a name [TS]

  for himself right by talking places and [TS]

  naming those places after himself and [TS]

  cutting a night that is that is the [TS]

  definition of making a name for yourself [TS]

  he and he literally formed it out of [TS]

  letters that he found some places he had [TS]

  pillaged he started with the a maybe [TS]

  start with the ex Alex now [TS]

  okay so you got market panic [TS]

  hanging gardens I want to get back to [TS]

  the cure but uh I got a lot to talk [TS]

  about here now here's my question for [TS]

  you [TS]

  the Iceland green now what was the band [TS]

  that that didn't have a real language [TS]

  there's a band that everybody with web [TS]

  blogs talked about a few years ago when [TS]

  they had a name like new or bunk or [TS]

  something there was a band think my head [TS]

  diuresis then I'm pronouncing that right [TS]

  bonk bonk yeah functions but they're [TS]

  called and they had all their songs are [TS]

  like our very own bar deauxma and it [TS]

  wasn't even like a language you know [TS]

  what I'm talking about right everyone [TS]

  can tell if it's a real language or not [TS]

  can you tell the difference between that [TS]

  an Icelandic I cannot and see I think [TS]

  that's important i think i need to look [TS]

  into this Iceland and Greenland now [TS]

  which one the sugar cubes were there [TS]

  from there from Iceland right from [TS]

  Iceland and they're the ones who believe [TS]

  in ohms absolutely in fact they have one [TS]

  as a singer in the band and the memory [TS]

  serves I nor does not like lobster huh [TS]

  yeah i was talking to behind our it was [TS]

  like the flavor flav the sugarcubes I [TS]

  would you know I i had only a passing [TS]

  pretend gentle glimpse of the sugar [TS]

  cubes as they went by popular culture [TS]

  because I was focused at that point in [TS]

  preserving grunge at the grunge museum [TS]

  here in Seattle we did you start there's [TS]

  a guard you going to do sent like he's [TS]

  got something I was that I was the cook [TS]

  I was the cook at the grounds museum and [TS]

  shoots crunch cut and then I worked my [TS]

  way up to work my way up to assistant [TS]

  manager [TS]

  what's that what's that what's a bill of [TS]

  fare look like a museum scrambled eggs [TS]

  mhm a black jacket black tar heroin [TS]

  uh-huh well the thing is when you're [TS]

  nodding off there's nothing that smells [TS]

  better to you than a cold plate of [TS]

  greasy eggs [TS]

  ah yeah or maybe a hagstrom did they [TS]

  play extremely at all during the crunch [TS]

  period that's funny that you should say [TS]

  that uh hagstrom of course being a [TS]

  Swedish les paul would he agree with [TS]

  that [TS]

  who has come out les paul the titular [TS]

  Les Paul oh no can't get a strong [TS]

  goldtop my pressure as they fell apart [TS]

  pretty easily but that's good thing no [TS]

  extra made great but that's the thing in [TS]

  musical instruments right the everybody [TS]

  always tries to compare the musical [TS]

  instrument that the shoddy musical [TS]

  instruments [TS]

  they're manufacturing to the good [TS]

  musical instrument that doesn't exist [TS]

  anymore so so cali like democratic [TS]

  politics [TS]

  I thought you didn't want to talk about [TS]

  politics like I discuss the tea party [TS]

  I don't know much about angstroms I [TS]

  always thought I systems are great [TS]

  guitars but it's like remember when Kim [TS]

  fail came out and he was playing a guild [TS]

  SG rather than gibson SG and in [TS]

  Soundgarden and at the time speaking as [TS]

  a guitar person it seems like a radical [TS]

  and uncomfortable choice like why is he [TS]

  playing that I don't guess i would get [TS]

  endorsement [TS]

  I mean I said no they don't no no it was [TS]

  something he found in a junk shop they [TS]

  didn't help your pc and be endorsed at [TS]

  the time you certainly could not have [TS]

  been endorsed you if you were a great [TS]

  musician and you had a a musical [TS]

  instrument endorsement [TS]

  I don't think that would have flopped [TS]

  flown very well until Kurt Cobain did [TS]

  his stupid jag staying thing but Hanks [TS]

  rooms were great guitars the problem i [TS]

  knew a guy that had a hagstrom I had [TS]

  friends in its all the bandwidth only [TS]

  play X terms i think i think the fucking [TS]

  chance play extras from florida though [TS]

  yeah fucking chance from san francisco i [TS]

  think they play another max rooms using [TS]

  that but see something has changed in [TS]

  the last 15 years now you get now that [TS]

  could be a thing now you could have [TS]

  right you know like back then that you [TS]

  could that could be a thing [TS]

  thank you get paid to do like how i got [TS]

  a really heavy and pointless PT base [TS]

  that you played ironically game ironic [TS]

  base you can have an ironic base but we [TS]

  were still experimenting with the [TS]

  technology of having female bass players [TS]

  in 1992 right you're not gonna be you're [TS]

  gonna be working with like super high [TS]

  chemical reaction a matter like female [TS]

  bass players and then also try and throw [TS]

  in some like oh and all we plays [TS]

  hagstrom like come on you got you change [TS]

  one factor at a time that's address [TS]

  that's in the science go slow [TS]

  you can only fit so many molecules in [TS]

  the building and at time I think also [TS]

  within a few years all the bass player [TS]

  and kim that's interesting that let you [TS]

  pick that out i'm i'm i'm kind of a I've [TS]

  been talking to some people about the [TS]

  next iteration of the long winters and I [TS]

  was thinking all Kim's Wow [TS]

  boys and girls that's the thing also get [TS]

  her in Smith's cover band if your last [TS]

  name is Kim you're in like you could be [TS]

  like paul kim like you can t he could be [TS]

  anywhere in your name if your name was [TS]

  like the skin bursts EDD you get these [TS]

  actually be in the event you could be [TS]

  kim cameras teen but but uh uh yeah you [TS]

  have to vacuum your name is somehow [TS]

  dimeola shows up and you say you know [TS]

  what for a variety of reasons you're not [TS]

  going to be in the band the one going to [TS]

  give you is you're not named Kim you [TS]

  don't have kids and also you literally [TS]

  have missile and that we could I mean [TS]

  I'm willing but there are people that [TS]

  want to want to play music badly enough [TS]

  that they would be willing to change [TS]

  their name legally complete tattoos and [TS]

  they'll do anything these people are [TS]

  desperate John yeah we were on a train [TS]

  the other day talking about tattoos and [TS]

  this this woman the 75 year old woman [TS]

  comes up the aisle and she says I hear [TS]

  you're talking about tattoos and you did [TS]

  you know that i had a tattoo but he said [TS]

  of course I do ma'am [TS]

  then we all have a book here a book here [TS]

  of all the elderly people adapted and [TS]

  she's a little old lady with like a [TS]

  little gray-haired she's got that that [TS]

  wedge haircut that little old ladies [TS]

  have to wait a minute doing how this and [TS]

  how old is she [TS]

  well she's you know a seventies now or [TS]

  late 60s early 70s it's not like that [TS]

  kind of tattoo no no one and I looked at [TS]

  her too and I was like you don't have [TS]

  that kind of tattoo right and she said [TS]

  no in 1954 1952 or something like that i [TS]

  was living in northern utah and we were [TS]

  all Shepherd down to the health center [TS]

  and each given a tattoo of our blood [TS]

  type underarm what and and she said [TS]

  because we were because they told us [TS]

  that it was in case the North Koreans it [TS]

  bombed America and I and I said how old [TS]

  were you at the time she said for ah I [TS]

  said they gave a four-year-old girl [TS]

  tattoo she said they gave everyone in [TS]

  the town attention [TS]

  and I said because the North Koreans [TS]

  were going to bomb so so so hard reset [TS]

  had something so many confusing things [TS]

  about that anecdote it's bonkers but so [TS]

  as as John is looking it up on his phone [TS]

  I'm thinking wait a minute northern Utah [TS]

  yes even realize they're even in [TS]

  northern part of each other is I've been [TS]

  there but but but I realized oh right [TS]

  that's where the that's where the [TS]

  missile silos were it's one of the [TS]

  missiles were so I was like they weren't [TS]

  they were bullshitting if they said [TS]

  anything about the Koreans but they were [TS]

  definitely preparing for a nuclear [TS]

  apocalypse i I've heard of people who [TS]

  write the phone number on their arms [TS]

  sharpie before they drink and I think [TS]

  that that's smart or you know is so you [TS]

  think that's smart up another suggestion [TS]

  yeah don't drink so much that you forget [TS]

  your phone number that's mark here here [TS]

  we go anyway so Hodgman pulls this up on [TS]

  his phone [TS]

  yes in fact it was a pilot program in [TS]

  like rural indiana northern Utah and one [TS]

  other bumfuck Egypt kind of place and [TS]

  they tattooed everybody in the town [TS]

  including little children with their [TS]

  blood type under their arms in case in [TS]

  case after the big apocalypse you know [TS]

  people were coming into triage with [TS]

  their faces melted off couldn't speak [TS]

  but you can still figure out their blood [TS]

  type it that's your original North [TS]

  created did North Korea have kind of be [TS]

  one type things for candidate they have [TS]

  could they get to us [TS]

  north korea couldn't have thrown a [TS]

  basket of fruit a hundred and fifty [TS]

  yards in 1951 now without permission but [TS]

  the but they were being you know they [TS]

  were being being funded by the Chinese [TS]

  and the it was a prayer was a the first [TS]

  proxy war was the first the first war [TS]

  between the Soviets and the Americans [TS]

  fought before it became fashionable for [TS]

  that became a real thing later write [TS]

  this strikes me as on any number of [TS]

  levels a very duck-and-cover style [TS]

  solution because it seems to me that [TS]

  whether you're for or or agent if you're [TS]

  very near a place that's going to be [TS]

  bombed [TS]

  I that they're not going to be able to [TS]

  find that tattoo sure you would think it [TS]

  to kiss your ass good-bye sit scenario [TS]

  except that i just read a thing the [TS]

  other day that after they exploded the [TS]

  the a bomb on the Bikini Atoll who went [TS]

  obviously back to check it out see the [TS]

  scorched earth situation and numerous [TS]

  rats had survived purely because they [TS]

  gotten like transfusions now i think [TS]

  that i think i think they survived [TS]

  because they are indomitable spirit the [TS]

  hearty they are they cannot that they're [TS]

  there they're planning the big takeover [TS]

  but anyway if you can see if you can be [TS]

  on a tiny I mean it's one thing to be a [TS]

  hero shima and survived because they are [TS]

  presumably like buildings and places to [TS]

  hide but if you're just a rat on a [TS]

  desert island and we blow up a on a bomb [TS]

  and you can you walk out of there huh [TS]

  pretty impressive huh so anyway whether [TS]

  in Utah [TS]

  yeah well know these I gotta learn more [TS]

  about that I don't have Hodgins phone [TS]

  with me this is telling that mustache [TS]

  boy does he like we come back to that I [TS]

  hate to keep bringing this up and we're [TS]

  on a card memory now I mean I know [TS]

  you're pretty good pals with him and [TS]

  it's probably not the kind of thing you [TS]

  bring up but I want to come back to that [TS]

  now here's the other thing now if I live [TS]

  near a lot of like tall icicles [TS]

  stalactites or an unregulated abattoir I [TS]

  think having a blood-related tattoo is [TS]

  is silly but understandable right in [TS]

  saying that if you lived there and [TS]

  unregulated abattoir you might [TS]

  accidentally find your way like into the [TS]

  spilling knives really the same it's the [TS]

  same problem is generic drugs they don't [TS]

  it's not well policed like your or herbs [TS]

  you go on by suggesting you don't know [TS]

  what's in there right that gonna be like [TS]

  that could be cat was in shredded [TS]

  newspaper you're encouraging me to go [TS]

  out and buy some ginseng how many [TS]

  abattoirs have you personally been two [TS]

  ND know whether they are well regulated [TS]

  I've been to a couple but they were in [TS]

  Morocco and I can attest that they were [TS]

  not you're trying to tell as I sit here [TS]

  today you're telling me that you have [TS]

  been [TS]

  in a Moroccan abattoir yes from what [TS]

  kind of what kind of thing that killed [TS]

  in rockingham to our goats goats [TS]

  okay they got a whole system for that is [TS]

  rotating knives in the whole nine [TS]

  no in the Moroccan abattoir they slipped [TS]

  the goats knives with for this little [TS]

  girl's throat first takeaway let's just [TS]

  say step 0 takeaway knives from all the [TS]

  girls a goat's knives and slippery and [TS]

  and the one in your sock it slip he [TS]

  slipped the knives in front of the goats [TS]

  to say see what we can do to your knives [TS]

  and who you thought you thought you were [TS]

  protected by tonight how would have a [TS]

  knife avatar [TS]

  I don't really fully understand these [TS]

  things I mean but again I blood type [TS]

  I mean if all the things that you could [TS]

  choose to put on there I'm taking your [TS]

  build models like Rafael like models [TS]

  when your kid I built so many ravel [TS]

  models i could I still have I still have [TS]

  periodically I'll just get a flash and [TS]

  sometimes I think I'm having a stroke [TS]

  but i'll get a flash of the smell of the [TS]

  ravel modeling glue it will just come [TS]

  it just comes out of some recesses of my [TS]

  mind some it's my brain is offloading [TS]

  some old memory in order to retain the [TS]

  new memory of you know what the chord [TS]

  sequences test tonight you belong to me [TS]

  that's the strongest they say that's the [TS]

  strongest sense of smell ya especially [TS]

  especially of glue I'll get this [TS]

  modeling glue smell you know and that [TS]

  you remember for a while there they they [TS]

  they all the modeling glue smelled like [TS]

  lemons because they don't know what they [TS]

  were trying to dissuade kids from [TS]

  sniffing glue i don't know why that why [TS]

  they would make it smell like lemons [TS]

  right anybody who who who amongst you [TS]

  that's looking for a buzz would want the [TS]

  refreshing smell of citrus no no that's [TS]

  a pollen but not compared to the [TS]

  delicious smell of modeling love that [TS]

  same night in a plastic bag and huffed [TS]

  to ever have thought modeling glue i [TS]

  didn't but when i when i was when i was [TS]

  in Romania last glue huffing and [TS]

  adhesive huffing was a epidemic and out [TS]

  in front of the train station there were [TS]

  all these little kids like really young [TS]

  kids merchants you know just kind of [TS]

  sleeping in like [TS]

  will hollowed-out depressions in the [TS]

  dirt and passing around these bags of 3m [TS]

  adhesive spray adhesive and they have [TS]

  the zombie looks is this in Romania [TS]

  that's right what do you do when he gets [TS]

  difficult he sits in Romania is that [TS]

  well I mean Romanians need to it he's [TS]

  things just like anybody else does [TS]

  isn't it better sure I its transitive [TS]

  intransitive I think it's one of those [TS]

  things like you start noticing like [TS]

  there's just not as much you know once [TS]

  you know in the in the in the cool with [TS]

  cans it just seems like that would be [TS]

  not somebody would notice that there's a [TS]

  lot you know what is interaction find [TS]

  money for something like that you're [TS]

  telling it's an inexpensive hi it's like [TS]

  the air conditioning the freon thing [TS]

  yeah i mean it virgins first of all [TS]

  virgins are not picky about their high [TS]

  well versions are not above stealing 41 [TS]

  and stretching the name [TS]

  yeah that's well yeah o.o i spent into [TS]

  Kenzie incense and Fagan sense that the [TS]

  anti-semitic but I mean the whole nature [TS]

  being an urchin is you're probably not [TS]

  going to go out and get some extremely [TS]

  high-grade drugs i mean you're gonna [TS]

  have a car you know the car with the [TS]

  windows rolled down and you and I'm [TS]

  guessing you probably don't go into the [TS]

  store and comparison shop like you don't [TS]

  go out and say i don't know this [TS]

  adhesive is I mean you just you buy the [TS]

  cheapest thing with the money that you [TS]

  stole from the lady and and i think you [TS]

  get a lot of bang for your buck with a [TS]

  can of spray adhesive at least the last [TS]

  time i was there your typical romanian [TS]

  shopkeeper was not going to keep [TS]

  adhesives spread his legs behind the [TS]

  counter to keep them out of the hands of [TS]

  kids could cost your problem what is [TS]

  your problem [TS]

  well like low for example like today [TS]

  like setting aside the fact that almost [TS]

  everything in walgreens is now behind [TS]

  the counter like if i'm going to buy [TS]

  neutrogena shampoo is yet a little [TS]

  yellow piece of cardboard that says for [TS]

  your convenience please go somewhere [TS]

  else to buy this razor blades good luck [TS]

  the reason I don't shave I mean there's [TS]

  several reasons I don't shave but i'm [TS]

  really tired of going to the counter and [TS]

  asking them for that and now you know it [TS]

  so its first of all it's just a shame [TS]

  that you can't buy ephedrine anymore [TS]

  because that really helped me get a lot [TS]

  done at one point in my life and now you [TS]

  can get pseudoephedrine you have to go [TS]

  to the pharmacy [TS]

  just is probably incompetent let's be [TS]

  honest and then ask them to make a case [TS]

  for one sudafed and prove to them that [TS]

  you're not making crystal meth [TS]

  absolutely and in on earth is like this [TS]

  up in the fruitcake place you lived here [TS]

  you gotta show my driver's license and [TS]

  they're checking now they don't want you [TS]

  buying too much sudafed they don't want [TS]

  you to be completely clear they don't [TS]

  want you breathing clearly yeah well as [TS]

  you know I am NOT above and in fact [TS]

  often relish screaming a lecture at [TS]

  people who are standing behind the [TS]

  counter of somewhere and I have gone [TS]

  because they can do often can't leave [TS]

  that's right and they are they're often [TS]

  standing there asking me for something [TS]

  and I'm yelling back at them what they [TS]

  need to know and I i2mo Emma not just a [TS]

  fan of ephedrine but a I i believe it is [TS]

  one of the things that God made to make [TS]

  life owners more bear haha [TS]

  John this is a whole motherfucking card [TS]

  and I don't have anybody I can talk to [TS]

  about this anymore i go into these [TS]

  formulas in a secret shame and I'm [TS]

  pawing through these these uh [TS]

  antihistamines and i am looking at the [TS]

  list of ingredients and I'm like not a [TS]

  single one of these ingredients is an [TS]

  actual antihistamine these are things [TS]

  these are like fake antihistamines and I [TS]

  my body is not fooled so I go up to the [TS]

  counter and I say where is the [TS]

  pseudoephedrine and they say oh you have [TS]

  to fill out a card or whatever and ie i [TS]

  rant and rave I yell at every pharmacist [TS]

  that makes me go through this process [TS]

  look at me look at me i want the one [TS]

  thing that works [TS]

  it was it's like it's like withholding [TS]

  the polio vaccine you whore why are you [TS]

  helping me [TS]

  you know what it's like to have [TS]

  allergies you have it later [TS]

  you have it right back there you can [TS]

  sell it give me the little red pill that [TS]

  makes life bearable [TS]

  so you're talking about you're talking [TS]

  about the the true for my saying [TS]

  prophylactic purpose you're saying 44 [TS]

  clear nostrils are not saying for [TS]

  twitching and writing [TS]

  more you're talking about freshly [TS]

  clearing out your not so I do not misuse [TS]

  these drugs never misused it all know [TS]

  I'm a drug addicts no no I mean before [TS]

  before you got all that straight now [TS]

  no no hey that compared to a cross stop [TS]

  an epidural is not a very cross with me [TS]

  like a white cross ya know what's in [TS]

  that that's I thought wasn't that's [TS]

  actual speed oh I I've had I've had that [TS]

  for my from my condition [TS]

  yeah i know for your condition and if [TS]

  you take a lot of those now you're now [TS]

  you're really driving a semi dressy idea [TS]

  i think i could get right now you have [TS]

  no idea haha i could take another one of [TS]

  these and just be good and test [TS]

  yeah I have to watch that with that at [TS]

  all boy that adderall just I just think [TS]

  unless you off [TS]

  yeah i mean it i can't touch that stuff [TS]

  with i can't i can't look at any kind of [TS]

  medication and think maybe if i just [TS]

  took to it would help me get this [TS]

  writing assignment done because that's a [TS]

  very slippery slope for somebody [TS]

  yes yes absolutely so so but i but I do [TS]

  take one of those pills during allergy [TS]

  season I take one of them every day [TS]

  whether i wake up with a stuffy nose or [TS]

  not because it is an antihistamine it [TS]

  suppresses the history moon right [TS]

  response and then you don't you end up [TS]

  not going through the agony [TS]

  no that's why the color prophylactic is [TS]

  it's not just about the you know [TS]

  intercourse with the rubber prophylactic [TS]

  as you know I think that's probably [TS]

  because it's got a why in it but you [TS]

  know you're taking it in order to avoid [TS]

  something happening right now that's [TS]

  that's perhaps the notion now i'm almost [TS]

  at that point I've got that generic [TS]

  claritin it a I i can't tell if it makes [TS]

  a difference i can't tell if it's one of [TS]

  those adaptogen des things like vitamin [TS]

  C but it seems to help me [TS]

  all i know is that sometimes I will find [TS]

  myself standing in the kitchen and [TS]

  sneezing like 44 just minutes and [TS]

  minutes and minutes like 16-18 sneezes [TS]

  in a row that's how that's how you get [TS]

  your bacon so flavorful right i mean [TS]

  i've always admired your bacon recipe i [TS]

  just assumed it was that you sneezed on [TS]

  a 16-time if I knew the answer I [TS]

  wouldn't tell you [TS]

  for reasons I'm sure you can understand [TS]

  I don't understand I and then the lady [TS]

  my coffee place brown coffee [TS]

  that's as a replacement there yeah I [TS]

  like to play someone I can every to them [TS]

  this morning i love that place but but [TS]

  Ariana there she just gave me some stuff [TS]

  she got a whole foods she claims is a [TS]

  chinese herb is there some kind of [TS]

  Ukrainian like refugee or Russian broad [TS]

  I meet you mean like a like a like a [TS]

  fishnet stocking mate exhalation well or [TS]

  just an immigrant woman from the east [TS]

  I don't want to speak out of school that [TS]

  I believe she is her parents are from [TS]

  China and Afghanistan which is very [TS]

  interesting [TS]

  wow that's exotic right now see now my [TS]

  shrink has got me worried about the [TS]

  whole herb thing because 80 in the same [TS]

  way that he's got me worried about the [TS]

  whole generic drug thing he says the [TS]

  whole generic drug thing he says it's [TS]

  these are my words not his because he's [TS]

  a professional complete horseshit there [TS]

  in 20 [TS]

  well the thing is it's the worst kind of [TS]

  horse shit because you don't know if [TS]

  it's your shit is a where is this your [TS]

  shrink that saying this or there's this [TS]

  the voice of your shrink that you're [TS]

  picking up in your tin foil helmet [TS]

  let me check my wall let's go back to [TS]

  the wall to talk more about this index [TS]

  cards [TS]

  I got a lot of stuff here wouldn't help [TS]

  right index cards on the index card but [TS]

  I really need to get some straighten out [TS]

  my life John that you just right index [TS]

  cards on an index card like rusted out [TS]

  the wall / art / adhesive okay um [TS]

  national problem [TS]

  ok sergeant saying you're well I see now [TS]

  I've taken the ginseng and my shrink [TS]

  just he says he says just don't even [TS]

  touch that stuff because you don't know [TS]

  how much of anything is in there is [TS]

  totally unregulated he says this is the [TS]

  problem with especially I must say [TS]

  antidepressants [TS]

  now now apparently you go and take one [TS]

  of those name-brand depressants and it [TS]

  may work or not work for a person but it [TS]

  can work now a lot of the stuff you [TS]

  don't know what's in there [TS]

  supposedly it says the problem is this [TS]

  is so boring there's no way to actually [TS]

  check this stuff out now hits full of [TS]

  rodin pairs and stuff I mean what I mean [TS]

  what's in it it could be just it's just [TS]

  like when you go to some yoga feeling [TS]

  some yo says to you all [TS]

  yoyo being people who disagree with me [TS]

  about this is all no generics are [TS]

  exactly the same as regular drugs each [TS]

  one of these [TS]

  has like for example point zero one [TS]

  percent of this active ingredient so in [TS]

  the the other 98 / 99.9 sentencing [TS]

  exactly i don't okay now here's the [TS]

  stabilizers and so in the absence of [TS]

  ephedrine and the absence of so you're [TS]

  what is it you're taking every day [TS]

  well I pseudoephedrine i mean i would [TS]

  take an afternoon like sudafed like [TS]

  sudafed to actuation that's ok I i [TS]

  started on the ephedrine in in college [TS]

  because the place that I've got my mom [TS]

  liquor obviously also have little [TS]

  bottles of ephedrine Tom and you could [TS]

  buy a bottle back in the seventies close [TS]

  closest would be 1986-87 88 you could [TS]

  buy a 50 of these little tiny white [TS]

  unadulterated affections for two dollars [TS]

  and ninety-nine cents 25 milligram [TS]

  ephedrine you getting hit 50 this 4 [TS]

  2nite now you're asking how do I know [TS]

  this because I've made a spreadsheet a [TS]

  few years ago because i was getting [TS]

  concerned about the historical cost of [TS]

  dancing medicine i called dancing [TS]

  medicine because you can take a lot in [TS]

  dance or drive really far do you still [TS]

  get do still import these things we [TS]

  don't need to i have the atd medicine [TS]

  now and I don't know self-medicate with [TS]

  these that's nice [TS]

  ok so i think that's a happy ending ok [TS]

  so what I just found a place across the [TS]

  street is a handjob place we should get [TS]

  back to that really how it certainly [TS]

  I've had I've had the feeling for a [TS]

  while and i just got confirmation from [TS]

  the Merchants Association guy [TS]

  yes far where the firemen drink all the [TS]

  races farm barn let's change now [TS]

  oh now it's citation kids with funny [TS]

  haircuts it's really costly it's really [TS]

  costly shouldn't so i may I share this [TS]

  google doc a few years ago that i'm [TS]

  happy to share with people now here's [TS]

  the problem you know they made it [TS]

  illegal you couldn't buy the ephedrine [TS]

  anymore i thought we were talking about [TS]

  handjob still and i think those are [TS]

  still legal I think they're you notice [TS]

  things like weed where you know you [TS]

  might as well regulated you know and you [TS]

  know that attacks and stuff so so [TS]

  everybody wins [TS]

  i use their time in San Francisco taxes [TS]

  handjobs idea what if they could i I [TS]

  don't know how will they follow the [TS]

  stuff I'm just saying that a lot of nail [TS]

  places just saying because your places [TS]

  like where my fingernails any place we [TS]

  can go in there and they do things to [TS]

  you like a spot type situation first of [TS]

  all [TS]

  be very careful as let diseases you can [TS]

  catch a place like that these places are [TS]

  costs because I can't breathe in a nail [TS]

  salon [TS]

  yeah it's a very inexpensive business to [TS]

  start and that's why a lot of people who [TS]

  came here after the Vietnam War open [TS]

  them [TS]

  there's nothing on NPR about this well I [TS]

  think they also use that solution to [TS]

  electroplate like truck bumpers and [TS]

  stuff it's very what is that what does [TS]

  that do to a bummer when you [TS]

  electroplated but plates it haha put [TS]

  chrome on the bumper with a casual and [TS]

  all right so very it's a very toxic [TS]

  process to chroma bumper is that right [TS]

  I'm not that's not a euphemism [TS]

  now what sounds like it now but that's [TS]

  after it let's just say for the sake of [TS]

  argument that some ladies suck the [TS]

  chrome off a bumper and you literally go [TS]

  somewhere in these electricity to [TS]

  replate it [TS]

  that's right that sounds like a raccoon [TS]

  me John that sounds that sounds like a [TS]

  lady is good fellatio and some people [TS]

  from Southeast Asia could easily turn [TS]

  them into hell of a racket [TS]

  oh and then her brother is running the [TS]

  electroplating sure what about what [TS]

  about removing golf balls from garden [TS]

  hoses constant cycle house golf bug in [TS]

  the garden has asked yourself that guy [TS]

  shack I was I was I was walking in the [TS]

  neighborhood not runner-up not very long [TS]

  ago uh my neighborhood I didn't normally [TS]

  go to and I i saw donut shop for up the [TS]

  street and across the way and was [TS]

  walking to this donut shop the streets [TS]

  were abandoned her deserted not [TS]

  abandoned they were so using them but it [TS]

  but they were deserted at the time I'm [TS]

  walking across the street and here comes [TS]

  a car the other direction and as I'm [TS]

  halfway across the street [TS]

  this car slows down and I see that it's [TS]

  a guy I know and he sees me and we kind [TS]

  of look at each other but it's but he [TS]

  doesn't stop it just keeps driving and I [TS]

  was like what was he doing up here this [TS]

  is a weird neighborhood for for either [TS]

  of us to be in my child to the store now [TS]

  now them all [TS]

  we also have I head over to the donut [TS]

  shop I haven't done or whatever few days [TS]

  pass i bump into this guy rock club and [TS]

  I go hey how's it going he was like hey [TS]

  I saw you up at the ceiling up there and [TS]

  in you know weird neighborhood weirdo [TS]

  neighborhood I was like yeah what were [TS]

  you doing up there and he said well I [TS]

  was trying to think of what you were [TS]

  doing up there and then I realized [TS]

  there's only one reason to be in that [TS]

  neighborhood and that's the fifty-dollar [TS]

  lunchtime hand job at the at the strip [TS]

  club that's up around the corner from [TS]

  there [TS]

  $50 lunchtime handjob and I went I just [TS]

  like stone face like and and he said oh [TS]

  oh oh no did I say that I meant I meant [TS]

  that donut event that you were just up [TS]

  there to see a friend [TS]

  anyway good to see you bye there should [TS]

  be there should be like you talked about [TS]

  with the handkerchief codes there should [TS]

  be some way to make sure we're always [TS]

  talking about the same thing that's the [TS]

  thing and what was terrible about this [TS]

  exchange was that he was so excited to [TS]

  have found another another somebody he [TS]

  could look for me it's like me with the [TS]

  dancing medicine John I thought we were [TS]

  simpatico and now it turns out on mom [TS]

  you know I'm fucking elliott smith and [TS]

  your mother Teresa or something else [TS]

  well I'll tell ya I as you were talking [TS]

  about the two dollar 50 cent bottle of [TS]

  epidemic in 1986 299 i was able to [TS]

  transport myself to my 1986 self [TS]

  whoo-hoo and I was thinking wow that's a [TS]

  good that sounds cool [TS]

  that's good deal well you get really hot [TS]

  I'm not gonna dwell on this because this [TS]

  is this is not interesting and it [TS]

  reveals way too much about me but I did [TS]

  take the time according to google docs [TS]

  660 days ago to calculate I took all my [TS]

  receipts for having bought these from [TS]

  suit illegal places over the years [TS]

  because I was appalled by how expensive [TS]

  the ephedrine was getting and then I did [TS]

  a cost calculation based on milligrams [TS]

  turns out 1988 i was paying six cents [TS]

  6.6 sense for for an equivalent unit so [TS]

  yeah yeah it goes up to a dollar 46 you [TS]

  want 2080 believe that it's so much [TS]

  harder to get high now white and can I [TS]

  just say I I don't come from merchant [TS]

  people but like I can understand the [TS]

  huffing I can understand if you're going [TS]

  out and you're having to go to one of [TS]

  these legs on sparks supplement sites [TS]

  and go drop third in one case where has [TS]

  been your 5995 448 count and that's cut [TS]

  with wife innocent which is that cough [TS]

  medicine bullshit nobody needs one more [TS]

  dollar bill you're part of the problem [TS]

  John is they don't want you doing this [TS]

  huffing and so then they add stuff [TS]

  remember [TS]

  over in the like in the in the science [TS]

  you know when they add the garlic smell [TS]

  so the Bunsen burners stink and tell us [TS]

  they're leaking sink the assault the [TS]

  sulfur smell is this offer [TS]

  I don't think they had garlic that's [TS]

  that sounds pretty nice but maybe it's [TS]

  been a long time selection more [TS]

  artisanal science progress snifter [TS]

  Bunsen burner sniffing Bunsen burner [TS]

  just talk about like I totally would've [TS]

  been drinking sterno been drinking [TS]

  hairspray [TS]

  I mean you know there's always somebody [TS]

  wants to that's why they put the nasty [TS]

  chemical in the rubbing alcohol you [TS]

  could get eaten should face on rubbing [TS]

  alcohol if it didn't have that that [TS]

  whatever the hell that stuff is they put [TS]

  in it so you can't drink it right they [TS]

  call that to caucus dropping well now [TS]

  whatever they have to add something in [TS]

  because a potentially a presidential [TS]

  candidates wife is abusing it's not [TS]

  funny [TS]

  the anyway the point is that the price [TS]

  went way up i'm glad i got the help and [TS]

  I do that for the urchins I now they're [TS]

  not going to be able to walk up to for a [TS]

  variety of reasons the artists are not [TS]

  going to walk up to a strip mall and be [TS]

  able to just go buy some whippits you [TS]

  know and again you go by the whippets [TS]

  you're going to be burning through the [TS]

  whip-it superfast and then you're going [TS]

  to want more with its and honestly [TS]

  speaking not i mean i can't speak for [TS]

  merchants exactly but if you're living [TS]

  in a hollowed-out depression in the [TS]

  ground in front of a Romanian study the [TS]

  whole you can afford a whole I don't [TS]

  think that the 35 seconds of euphoria [TS]

  that a whippet provides is quite enough [TS]

  a consciousness alteration to really [TS]

  like smooth over the bumps in your life [TS]

  whereas if you're having you all day [TS]

  you're killing brain cells by the [TS]

  hundreds of thousands and I and I think [TS]

  that that that's maybe much more [TS]

  comforting to them if I understand you [TS]

  correctly you're saying there's there's [TS]

  something like a sliding scale where if [TS]

  you're if you're living it literally in [TS]

  a pro whole your your dreams you're [TS]

  dreaming of adhesives and new and a [TS]

  proper proper holes at some point you're [TS]

  saying you want something really really [TS]

  solid it's just going to let right we're [TS]

  going to you can form you conform to the [TS]

  whole uh huh and I got high that you can [TS]

  count on ya goin with it is a high that [TS]

  like if you're at apart if you're at a [TS]

  party in a suburban house [TS]

  and there's a girl at the party that you [TS]

  have a crush on and she's talking to [TS]

  your friend not even flirting with him [TS]

  but just talking to him who and that is [TS]

  causing you psychic pain just because [TS]

  you're a teenage kid and you think that [TS]

  just that the fact that she's talking to [TS]

  me means that they're in love and that [TS]

  she's never gonna she's never gonna see [TS]

  you across the room she never going to [TS]

  taking tips for the person to think this [TS]

  isn't a flash it all happens at once I [TS]

  mean you're carrying this baggage around [TS]

  all the time and just activates it [TS]

  activates with because it's not a [TS]

  trigger word a trigger a trigger site [TS]

  here's the group you see the girl [TS]

  Freddie minutes and then your heads [TS]

  going here we go again and she's doing [TS]

  anything else if she is making top ramen [TS]

  in the kitchen [TS]

  you're convinced that she is in love [TS]

  with that top ramen and not you a whip [TS]

  it is the precise dose of drugs that you [TS]

  need to make it through that experience [TS]

  if you're living in a depression in the [TS]

  ground [TS]

  you need a stronger dosage of alteration [TS]

  of altered states i'm learning like I I [TS]

  know you're you're somebody who doesn't [TS]

  do stuff with intoxicants anymore but a [TS]

  can i just say i am learning a lot and [TS]

  be it seems to me that you have the [TS]

  basis for what could be something like a [TS]

  very disturbing Almanac or possibly [TS]

  unlicensed medical practice because it [TS]

  strikes me that especially given the [TS]

  fact that you do tend to know what's [TS]

  right for people a lot of the time it [TS]

  seems to me that you could if you chose [TS]

  to you put in and the stranger you put [TS]

  an end the seattle weekly maybe you can [TS]

  leverage erect reverb thing for this [TS]

  seems to me you could start finding [TS]

  people who have fundamental personality [TS]

  problems and potentially connect them up [TS]

  with the kind of drug ish item and dose [TS]

  that would either make it better or [TS]

  worse depending on what they need [TS]

  have you thought of this at all yeah [TS]

  well I have long felt that that a [TS]

  psychedelic mushrooms are an underused [TS]

  mind altar in terms of solving people's [TS]

  psychic trauma and a lot of people don't [TS]

  they don't find mushrooms either because [TS]

  they think mushrooms are some kind of [TS]

  hippy drug or when you eat mushrooms [TS]

  that makes you vomit [TS]

  or they are put off by the [TS]

  hallucinations and put off by the fact [TS]

  that sometimes your friends will turn [TS]

  into lizards grunting karkat's yeah [TS]

  cartoon cats or big a bug-eyed will you [TS]

  feel really see the reptilian behind the [TS]

  behind the long pig mask but but [TS]

  mushrooms in proper doses and used the [TS]

  unders Creek you know just the tradition [TS]

  can be a very they can be very good for [TS]

  people i think I don't mean like take [TS]

  mushrooms every day for a year I just [TS]

  mean like it take mushrooms once and [TS]

  then you think about it for a year and [TS]

  then you take it again and then you're [TS]

  probably that's probably enough you [TS]

  should be done at that point but right [TS]

  with the right with the right if I think [TS]

  I think it would aid to the it's an aide [TS]

  to to get going in conjunction with [TS]

  counseling take some mushrooms can swing [TS]

  by your argument by you [TS]

  yeah because you potentially I [TS]

  understand this the scale you're gonna [TS]

  have to get some assistance interns [TS]

  merchants maybe but you're saying [TS]

  potentially you would prescribe people [TS]

  something like a certain amount of [TS]

  mushrooms he told to just back the fuck [TS]

  up and take it and then you would you [TS]

  talk to them before after during which [TS]

  would be fucking with them would you be [TS]

  wearing what you described as a long pig [TS]

  mask [TS]

  well what how would you be interacting [TS]

  with them with you just being follow-up [TS]

  but the thing that I'm speaking on [TS]

  speaking as somebody who has fucked with [TS]

  a lot of people who were on mushrooms i [TS]

  can say that it is very hard to tell in [TS]

  advance who is going to benefit from [TS]

  being fucked with while on mushrooms and [TS]

  who is really going to be traumatized by [TS]

  that [TS]

  yeah like college I would I would I [TS]

  would tend to to be very gentle with [TS]

  people while they were on mushrooms [TS]

  unless they indicated that they could [TS]

  but they really desire to be messed with [TS]

  that like that like a safe word or [TS]

  grinders or something that lets let's [TS]

  letz you know they're ready for four [TS]

  more of John's medicine [TS]

  yeah in most cases i think i think safe [TS]

  words are good the problem is that that [TS]

  most people are taking mushrooms are in [TS]

  a group of people who are also all on [TS]

  mushrooms so it's so there's a tendency [TS]

  to forget the safe word or ignore it [TS]

  that's a good point but it's also the [TS]

  same way that like you don't let it [TS]

  anymore the big problems with drunk [TS]

  driving [TS]

  apparently is it like if you have three [TS]

  or four drinks you go you know what I [TS]

  probably shouldn't drive if you have a [TS]

  hundred and sixty drinks you may become [TS]

  imbued with the power of believing that [TS]

  you're the greatest driver in the world [TS]

  right right you forget [TS]

  yeah and it just strikes me i know that [TS]

  if i could say i don't speak out of turn [TS]

  it strikes me that a lot of in addition [TS]

  to people not being exposed to things [TS]

  you share with them they're also getting [TS]

  there getting crossed cross-channel [TS]

  noise they're getting advice from [TS]

  different people could you potentially [TS]

  be in a position where you would have to [TS]

  argue with a theoretical cartoon cat [TS]

  about what's best for the person is [TS]

  being fucked with no I don't think so [TS]

  although you don't want to be in a [TS]

  controlled laboratory environment we [TS]

  don't want to be standing there in a lab [TS]

  coat now I think that we should be out [TS]

  at look push in Washington on the coast [TS]

  this is going to take the top spot and [TS]

  clapping oh now look pushes a real place [TS]

  here and in Washington State and you [TS]

  watch the whales kind of cresting there [TS]

  and i rather than a rather than a lab [TS]

  coat i think i should probably be in a [TS]

  furry sweater and maybe a cowichan hat i [TS]

  see a vest sweater vest well it's not [TS]

  under nice when I don't know no more [TS]

  like Mamas and the Papas getting on the [TS]

  on the bus kind of like a fussy vest in [TS]

  like a light day yak best I've seen you [TS]

  in dennis hopper mustache and yak best [TS]

  and a dennis hopper mustache so they [TS]

  feel like they're in good hands and I [TS]

  feel like there's a spiritual component [TS]

  to it but because here's here's their [TS]

  guy just confessed anybody they don't [TS]

  give a yak best and butt and then then I [TS]

  just walked them through being high and [TS]

  then as they as they came down the other [TS]

  side be like yeah right am i right [TS]

  and then the next day we could talk [TS]

  about some of the stuff that went on and [TS]

  then you follow up a few times are you [TS]

  feeling now about that I feel now about [TS]

  that would the value that you saw me do [TS]

  you really care how they feel though I [TS]

  mean or is it just to such as part of [TS]

  the thing in order if you get the final [TS]

  payment you have to make them feel like [TS]

  they're listen to well here's the [TS]

  problem [TS]

  the thing is that drugs are not [TS]

  inherently bad drugs are just drugs they [TS]

  just aren't they do they drug you they [TS]

  do things to you that are druggie [TS]

  but we demonize them and and in so doing [TS]

  we've done the thing that we always do [TS]

  in paternalistic societies which is that [TS]

  there are certain number of people who [TS]

  are too stupid to live too stupid to [TS]

  make their own choices and in order to [TS]

  protect those people from the from their [TS]

  own stupidity we remove the option from [TS]

  everybody else of doing things that [TS]

  they're perfectly capable of doing [TS]

  without harming themselves right so [TS]

  there are certain kids who are too [TS]

  stupid like nobody's allowed to build [TS]

  models anymore because I get my tan put [TS]

  a bag on his head right and kids under [TS]

  kids under 21 are not allowed to drink [TS]

  in bars because because seven percent of [TS]

  them would not be able to handle it [TS]

  whereas 93% would be fine you know they [TS]

  go watch a rock show have a beer [TS]

  nothing bad is going to happen but [TS]

  that's seven percent ruins it for [TS]

  everybody and this is the thing with [TS]

  drugs to I mean there's a certain [TS]

  percentage of people that said they [TS]

  don't use them wrong and a and the great [TS]

  majority of the vast majority of people [TS]

  who would use them you know it's [TS]

  somewhere on the sliding scale of from [TS]

  good to like neutral though they are [TS]

  prohibited from you so I feel like drugs [TS]

  used improperly or INXS are you know are [TS]

  bad just like television used in excess [TS]

  is bad or the Bible used in excess is [TS]

  bad but these things aren't inherently [TS]

  bad and I i think if there were those [TS]

  and the problem is that this is what [TS]

  Timothy lyrics had 40 years ago except [TS]

  he was such a stoner he was goofy he [TS]

  absolutely law absolutely squandered the [TS]

  opportunity was given and a lot of the [TS]

  drug gurus squandered that opportunity [TS]

  by becoming drug dipshit you know [TS]

  yeah i mean i think if you're trying to [TS]

  help somebody in a clinical basis it [TS]

  shouldn't seem too much like you're at a [TS]

  party and kind of confused [TS]

  yeah and uh but it's gonna it's gonna [TS]

  Sully it's gonna sell me the real [TS]

  penetration of your wisdom if it is [TS]

  really struggling if you're giggling a [TS]

  lot you certainly certainly shouldn't [TS]

  say things like you know we're going to [TS]

  open everybody's mind and then it's [TS]

  gonna be the end of war because you just [TS]

  sound like an asshole not just crazy dry [TS]

  talk but that but the problem is now we [TS]

  have this incredible we have this [TS]

  incredible up resource of all these [TS]

  people like me who have used drugs and [TS]

  now are not on drugs and the only way we [TS]

  can think of as a culture to utilize the [TS]

  collective wisdom of all these former [TS]

  drunks and drug addicts is in this like [TS]

  this recovery industry where all these [TS]

  brilliant people who have used drugs [TS]

  have to kind of secretly pretend have to [TS]

  have to have to publicly pretend that [TS]

  oh that was bad though yes the campsite [TS]

  try to engage a people right right like [TS]

  you you can go there and like you know [TS]

  you can you know act like you don't [TS]

  shoot anymore whatever but that may not [TS]

  really stick you can keep it up for a [TS]

  while but you're still gonna be thinking [TS]

  about adhesives well except that no I'm [TS]

  i mean i'm not interested in doing drugs [TS]

  anymore and most people that you not use [TS]

  it to people you're helping the but with [TS]

  the people that I mean were the the [TS]

  people who formerly used drugs are have [TS]

  a collective wisdom that is worth more [TS]

  to the population at large [TS]

  who then it is being confined simply to [TS]

  talking to people who are also [TS]

  struggling with drugs you know what I'm [TS]

  saying like I think it's a little it's [TS]

  very unsubtle because basically what [TS]

  you're saying is there's these million [TS]

  different things that could be [TS]

  problematic and then there's one way [TS]

  that we've all just agreed is normal and [TS]

  and so so it doesn't matter what [TS]

  happened in the past we're going to [TS]

  re-route you into this one thing which [TS]

  is the normal that's part of what you're [TS]

  saying I mean it's a little bit of what [TS]

  I'm saying but I want that but the there [TS]

  there's there's so much paranoia about [TS]

  drug use on on the part of normals right [TS]

  i mean for for every kid who is who is [TS]

  who has a drug problem who needs someone [TS]

  to step in and say kid you need to find [TS]

  you need to find help for your drug [TS]

  problem is a better outlet for every kid [TS]

  like that there are five kids who really [TS]

  should get high one [TS]

  right you know and they're so scared of [TS]

  what's gonna happen if they get high one [TS]

  time or they got high and it was bad and [TS]

  there was nobody there to help them [TS]

  figure out what was happening that those [TS]

  five kids are becoming those five kids [TS]

  that don't have never gotten high or [TS]

  four got high and had a bad experience [TS]

  they grow up to be just as big a part of [TS]

  the problem in America as the kid who's [TS]

  struggling to to not die of drugs you [TS]

  know and and the people that are off [TS]

  drugs now and I think eventually i think [TS]

  doing drugs should be a phase if you are [TS]

  45 years old and you are still getting [TS]

  high or frankly in my opinion drinking [TS]

  yourself to sleep every night you should [TS]

  stop doing those things you know but [TS]

  there's a lot more try something or try [TS]

  something different or well yeah you're [TS]

  right it was your best the different [TS]

  components something this is my this is [TS]

  my point John is that you know you end [TS]

  up in a proto hole and a lot of ways [TS]

  like think about the times i don't know [TS]

  if you've ever remember like in high [TS]

  school having to go to like your [TS]

  guidance counselor I don't think i ever [TS]

  got any really great advice from my [TS]

  guidance counselor's two pieces of [TS]

  advice my guidance counselor gave me [TS]

  that stuck with me [TS]

  one of them was that I should probably [TS]

  uh I should probably join the air force [TS]

  in particular because he'd been in the [TS]

  Air Force he says I have seen you in the [TS]

  Air Force [TS]

  yeah you have to be at the mustache you [TS]

  have that blond mustache Air Force [TS]

  mustache [TS]

  it's true it's true and I you know what [TS]

  he says he says he says you get free [TS]

  clothes and and three squares a day [TS]

  nothing wrong with that [TS]

  three glasses but i mean this is this is [TS]

  this is a problem with taking your [TS]

  advice from a guidance counselor the [TS]

  other one was that he said I should [TS]

  probably go to community college because [TS]

  you essentially get the same education [TS]

  at a community college that you get as [TS]

  any college in America which is in part [TS]

  true and impart a dish is dangerously [TS]

  untrue [TS]

  yeah but that's the thing right here [TS]

  here's here's where I try to make a [TS]

  point you go to a guidance counselor [TS]

  who's really into community colleges in [TS]

  the Air Force you're going to get a [TS]

  certain kind of answer [TS]

  yeah this is his answer is if I could [TS]

  make a big leaf here is not going to be [TS]

  like you need to see a couple cartoon [TS]

  cats and then have somebody talk to you [TS]

  about it [TS]

  so what I'm saying is because of the [TS]

  wisdom that you have leaned over the [TS]

  years often to your detriment you have [TS]

  not to share [TS]

  it's more than like some kind of like [TS]

  you know I'm gonna go on and do my PSA [TS]

  into work off the sentence there's [TS]

  something much more profound going on [TS]

  here mr. and then the difference between [TS]

  your dumbass Florida guidance counselor [TS]

  and me is that i highly recommend that [TS]

  you join the airforce ok go to a [TS]

  community college take some mushrooms [TS]

  and then come talk to me because until [TS]

  you've done those three things you're [TS]

  not ready but if you have been in the [TS]

  Air Force gone to community college [TS]

  taking mushrooms and you have some [TS]

  questions [TS]

  I'm somebody that you can talk to and [TS]

  that's also true if you have not joined [TS]

  the air force or going to community [TS]

  college or taking mushrooms you can come [TS]

  talk to me them to your ear like i like [TS]

  i don't like a cross between a like a [TS]

  dell customer support person and like [TS]

  the blind guy and confu and but I mean [TS]

  like like like plus huffing and see that [TS]

  this is the and I know you're not going [TS]

  to be into this John and I understand [TS]

  this is all the more reason you should [TS]

  hear me out because maybe you should be [TS]

  the one he's grabbing the pot with your [TS]

  forearms and getting and getting heat [TS]

  tattoos but I can walk across the rice [TS]

  paper and not know I see that this is [TS]

  the thing this is the thing John is I [TS]

  always think i could walk across the [TS]

  rest but i think i would tear the shit [TS]

  out of that rice paper [TS]

  yeah well you need to clip your nails [TS]

  something about having a very have a [TS]

  very light footfall I don't think that [TS]

  will be a problem at all i don't cowboy [TS]

  boots but here's i'm sure i guess their [TS]

  mind being this point to death I'm just [TS]

  saying that there are a lot of people [TS]

  out there that probably should be a [TS]

  little bit fucked up on a slightly [TS]

  different kind of drug [TS]

  maybe you could help people from an [TS]

  economic standpoint maybe you could help [TS]

  them [TS]

  the thing is you have a peculiar truly [TS]

  peculiar disturbing ability to know in [TS]

  your heart whether it's right or wrong [TS]

  what's fucked up about somebody like and [TS]

  you tell them that but it doesn't always [TS]

  think in and I'm thinking it could be [TS]

  because they're all fucked up on [TS]

  margaritas and what you could say to [TS]

  them is listen Johnny when you sober up [TS]

  we're going to get you fucked up on [TS]

  something that would be much more useful [TS]

  t exactly right and maybe that could be [TS]

  some kind of like cocaine that's been [TS]

  cut with broken glass and cheerios it [TS]

  could be something where you take them [TS]

  and get you get some Scotch Guard I got [TS]

  a lot of people i think to just benefit [TS]

  from like sustained holding of their [TS]

  breath all just and let me speak with [TS]

  students circle [TS]

  no I go to I go to a lot of mexican [TS]

  restaurants [TS]

  I look in the bar portion as I'm walking [TS]

  through to get to the restaurant portion [TS]

  i look in there and I see all those gals [TS]

  in there with the big cock there I see [TS]

  cocktails and I think you just need to [TS]

  hold your breath as long as you can then [TS]

  do it again ever thought about building [TS]

  models but I yeah there's there are so [TS]

  many ways to change your to you know to [TS]

  alter your state's yeah and and every [TS]

  person has their own way like for me my [TS]

  i mean i'm a i-i-i take a lot of bands [TS]

  and I'm gonna yeah you really do it [TS]

  seems like it's a it's not even [TS]

  prophylactic it seems like it's extra [TS]

  hygienic and hyper hyper o.o over [TS]

  hygienic it's not a cleaning thing it's [TS]

  a little cleaning and in fact sometimes [TS]

  I will eat a meatball sandwich in the [TS]

  bathtub and that is not a clean process [TS]

  that is that is hereby give it a tray or [TS]

  slit i have a small radio be available [TS]

  there's there's going to be collateral [TS]

  damage but it isn't about being Queen [TS]

  it's not the city but it's about getting [TS]

  mentally clean you understand I mean [TS]

  you're in there and you are isn't a hot [TS]

  sandwich it's a hot sandwich in a hot [TS]

  tub so this timing involved you got into [TS]

  waters the waters the right temperature [TS]

  and you're in yours [TS]

  I had I had a piece of pumpkin pie in my [TS]

  bathroom and it was exactly it was what [TS]

  I needed at my own psychopharmacologist [TS]

  I said today your dosage is one hour in [TS]

  the bathtub a slice of pumpkin pie and [TS]

  the crossword puzzle from New York [TS]

  Magazine you're operating on a whole [TS]

  different level than my guidance [TS]

  counselor you should be in every school [TS]

  in America [TS]

  well I've been saying that yeah i mean [TS]

  could you pass a background check for [TS]

  something like that you know here's my [TS]

  feeling about background checks you go [TS]

  in and you just lay it on the line you [TS]

  just tell them the truth [TS]

  they're not so interested as much and in [TS]

  what you're doing is whether you're [TS]

  lying about it [TS]

  right exactly and they're afraid your [TS]

  background checks date back to a time [TS]

  when when uh the cultural norms were so [TS]

  stratified at that that the threat of [TS]

  blackmail was a real that was a real [TS]

  fear that people had you know if you [TS]

  were gay or if you had smoked marijuana [TS]

  cigarette or if you had talked to a [TS]

  communist and that information came out [TS]

  it can be compromised you could be it [TS]

  could be really be used against you [TS]

  because your fear of being revealed [TS]

  would cause you to you know make really [TS]

  bad choices be under this person's [TS]

  thought movie but the fact is no one [TS]

  could say anything about me in public [TS]

  that I haven't already said you know [TS]

  there i don't have have no secret that [TS]

  if somebody cannot said that John [TS]

  Roderick back in 1993 rolled around in [TS]

  bed with a guy who and then they touch [TS]

  each other's PP soon I was it you have a [TS]

  sob at the time i would go [TS]

  it was great it was amazing he was a [TS]

  dancer [TS]

  dancer [TS]

  he really was it was a dancer is this a [TS]

  hypothetical no no this is a hundred [TS]

  percent true have two new cards and that [TS]

  and also because i was at 1993 1993 also [TS]

  he was african-american and a dancer 23 [TS]

  so a hundred games very handsome guy and [TS]

  I think right now he's probably working [TS]

  he's probably Paula Abdul stirrup pants [TS]

  advisor club is it step it's right [TS]

  because he was actually a gay person and [TS]

  i was i was a pedestrian I was a I [TS]

  wasn't an interloper or a and you're [TS]

  just you're just a pedestrian or just [TS]

  checking out the crosswalk happened was [TS]

  I was I was a young guy and I was like [TS]

  so what's so what's this all about what [TS]

  is this what goes on here and and you [TS]

  know so somebody's going to come up to [TS]

  me in a trench coat and say I know what [TS]

  you did and i'm going to say to you [TS]

  because it was who wasn't so bad that's [TS]

  not something somebody is gonna be able [TS]

  to come up to you and say okay so I i [TS]

  know i know that you touched ways with [TS]

  Paula Abdul is efrain American stirrup [TS]

  wrangler and therefore you have to give [TS]

  me fifty dollars a month or what I guess [TS]

  you're not allowed to play benefits in [TS]

  Seattle and I'm right or you're going to [TS]

  start passing us microfiche that's a [TS]

  slippery slide around all ah that's that [TS]

  that's that's bad for everybody and so [TS]

  this is this is the problem see you you [TS]

  are so you have so much honesty to share [TS]

  with other people that I think you know [TS]

  you don't want to put your candle under [TS]

  a bushel basket [TS]

  I mean you know and unless he's a dancer [TS]

  I guess what is what my candle a lot of [TS]

  places and they have but not but [TS]

  nowadays you know you know I have this [TS]

  pile of possibilities [TS]

  you got a Bath coming up i do I have you [TS]

  have there [TS]

  the leaves are falling from the trees [TS]

  somebody's got a rake those I could hire [TS]

  one of the guys that drive by my house [TS]

  every day with a in a truck with a big [TS]

  sign on the side that says will rake [TS]

  your leaves haha [TS]

  now wait a minute later I want to do [TS]

  that work myself because I that's how I [TS]

  feel connected to the earth got John [TS]

  connected a lot of thoughts the first of [TS]

  all you're in the handjob district [TS]

  there's something with a dancer and now [TS]

  you're going to hire a guy to regulate [TS]

  except you want to take care of yourself [TS]

  now is that something you do in the bath [TS]

  I don't rake my leaves in the bath I [TS]

  wouldn't either way we're utilizing what [TS]

  I'm saying and turning it into something [TS]

  dirty no I'm just slicing yourself a [TS]

  little bit if I could get a decent [TS]

  meatball sub every time I draw a bath [TS]

  who if I could just like wave a wave a [TS]

  magic wand [TS]

  yeah now wait a minute now I'm utilizing [TS]

  know it's a magical thinking which we [TS]

  never got back to but this is the [TS]

  problem this is what Buddhism tries to [TS]

  address you know it says it's okay to [TS]

  want the bathroom okay want the meatball [TS]

  sub but it's not bad to have goals that [TS]

  you know maybe like to start your own [TS]

  rally freaking business [TS]

  I don't know your records not out but [TS]

  I'm just saying I'm just know just for [TS]

  the sake of argument i'm saying that [TS]

  this is the problem right this is the [TS]

  Duca as they say you know but I'm did [TS]

  the fifty-dollar see my kind of a lot [TS]

  for a hand job i know are you getting [TS]

  that seems like a bargain price you [TS]

  telling me this is a lunchtime special [TS]

  i'm saying that the type of guy that [TS]

  wants a hand job at lunch from another [TS]

  person [TS]

  yes who isn't just willing to go into [TS]

  the stall in the bathroom where he works [TS]

  and get a self-administered handjob [TS]

  talking about like a leaf raker or dance [TS]

  wrangler i'm talking about professional [TS]

  shall be a yeah I'm talking about you [TS]

  know i'm talking about an unregulated [TS]

  abattoir okay but you're talking about [TS]

  the lady at the desk or something it's [TS]

  not going to be the lady at the desk [TS]

  it's going to be a professional nail [TS]

  salon employee okay and that there's a [TS]

  certain you know I think that you forget [TS]

  because you haven't had sex since 2001 [TS]

  the least but another 911 fuck with my [TS]

  balls part of the appeal of having sex [TS]

  is the is the idea of taboo or the the [TS]

  badness you are being a bad boy you're a [TS]

  bad boy and to just sit in dirty dirty [TS]

  sub to just sit in the in the stall at [TS]

  work and self administer a handjob [TS]

  there's there for a lot of guys that's [TS]

  enough badness they're being bad and you [TS]

  to set the feet though that part of the [TS]

  badness is but something I [TS]

  self-administering nah I understand your [TS]

  imaginary friend [TS]

  i I'm sorry I missed want your hand but [TS]

  that would count as a handjob to really [TS]

  write know that would count as [TS]

  masturbated ok I i'm dead i was actually [TS]

  go and get a hand job is to take several [TS]

  steps to ward being dirty [TS]

  that in and of itself is the appeal i [TS]

  think to most guys a hand job itself the [TS]

  woman that is administering it where the [TS]

  man those are secondary [TS]

  it's it's the steps that they take to [TS]

  get there and to be dirty that are the [TS]

  things that are really turning them on [TS]

  doesn't make it less dirty to get a [TS]

  discount because does not seem like a [TS]

  little bit all it makes a dirtier you [TS]

  getting a discounted handjob that simple [TS]

  come on use your brain that started you [TS]

  know my problem is like a ball of all [TS]

  the things I've done I like my and I've [TS]

  intercoursed you know in the past and [TS]

  I've done things that are weird but I've [TS]

  never I've never to my knowledge [TS]

  compensated someone for a specific thing [TS]

  you know I've help with the rent or I've [TS]

  you to pick the flowers or something but [TS]

  i haven't I don't think I've ever [TS]

  specifically gone into a place that it [TS]

  was intentionally built with handjobs in [TS]

  mind and said i'd be interested in this [TS]

  can you give me a little break on it [TS]

  today it is lunch [TS]

  well except your wedding chapel right i [TS]

  mean that's the that's all wedding [TS]

  chapel is running job right there [TS]