Roderick on the Line

Ep. 16: "Cotton Candy Pink Poofy La-La"


  hello hi John how are you hi Merlin [TS]

  how's every little thing the way I'm [TS]

  scratch that we start over [TS]

  how's it going it's good why did you [TS]

  scratch how's every little thing could [TS]

  sounds like a lyric from a sixties [TS]

  musical how's every little thing how [TS]

  every little thing with you and I nada [TS]

  jus you show tunes man i'll see being [TS]

  shaped his men are really yeah my wife [TS]

  constantia teens you know I came of age [TS]

  in Seattle during the last great the [TS]

  last great waning days of the true like [TS]

  Renaissance of gay America when when you [TS]

  came of age and the gay people still had [TS]

  show tunes and drag and and Barbra [TS]

  Streisand and all these things that that [TS]

  they rallied around and sediment central [TS]

  part that really meant something [TS]

  it was a separate culture and now that's [TS]

  all lost [TS]

  no one cares about those things anymore [TS]

  I don't think except for like 50 year [TS]

  old former drag queens right i don't [TS]

  think there's an ironic i don't see any [TS]

  kind of hipster showtunes I happening [TS]

  although now that we've set it yeah you [TS]

  gotta get out it's not like it's not [TS]

  like listening to soft sell or something [TS]

  it's not something where they're sitting [TS]

  around going to Hawaii NCAA this is but [TS]

  there's a campus is certain campus that [TS]

  I admire a certain campus if you are [TS]

  using your penetrating vision to see the [TS]

  campaigners the relative order to work [TS]

  in the pink on a I demonstrating vision [TS]

  I have an extremely penetrating vision [TS]

  forum that is the way I a son you know [TS]

  what let's talk about the Tea Party [TS]

  alright well as disturbing know you're [TS]

  seriously Iowa really whatever you're [TS]

  about to talk about it on like a deal I [TS]

  don't loathe you feel like particular [TS]

  daughter of politics [TS]

  it's that this is the problem you don't [TS]

  get me started literally I want my [TS]

  daughter [TS]

  uh well look up really really just a [TS]

  four-year-old daughter that that's what [TS]

  you're gonna you're just very concerned [TS]

  about the Santorum she's like these are [TS]

  all results are very concerning to me [TS]

  haha seems like its cues rather heavily [TS]

  toward a very small group of people who [TS]

  are really needy about being asked what [TS]

  they think you know everybody stays [TS]

  undecided because as soon as they become [TS]

  decided nobody cares anymore you don't [TS]

  spend a lot of time in Iowa it's a [TS]

  fascinating state that because the [TS]

  corner of the writers program or about [TS]

  realize your tracks we know there are a [TS]

  lot of like Iowa City you wouldn't [TS]

  expect in the center of iowa iowa city [TS]

  to be a progressive and beautiful little [TS]

  College terrible thank you for asking [TS]

  let me tell you a little story every [TS]

  little thing about iowa's surprising [TS]

  there's people everywhere in towns [TS]

  you've never heard of well there's corn [TS]

  is corn township corn district court [TS]

  city corn corn corn writing program [TS]

  sorry I thought little every little [TS]

  thing i'm going to write that down [TS]

  tell me tell me about sorry yeah you [TS]

  what you're banned you're banned place [TS]

  in Iowa a lot of Cedar Rapids is a very [TS]

  interesting tonight in Iowa it's not [TS]

  like it smells like the rapids that's a [TS]

  real city so you're driving to cedar [TS]

  rapids right which isn't on the way to [TS]

  and Rabbi the kind of river [TS]

  yeah there are Rapids there how would [TS]

  you have cedar rapids unless unless you [TS]

  add liquid trees [TS]

  mmm to continue well anyway cedar rapids [TS]

  i really wanted to go there just because [TS]

  it's one of those towns that that isn't [TS]

  on the way to anywhere it's not like the [TS]

  the interstate doesn't go through there [TS]

  you have to kind of make a little detour [TS]

  and you get you driving to Cedar Rapids [TS]

  and it's the entire town smells like [TS]

  Captain Crunch cereal because they make [TS]

  it there are they makes there's a [TS]

  there's a there's a general mills cereal [TS]

  close too close to a corn gotta stay [TS]

  close to the corner yeah and the whole [TS]

  town smells like crunch berries like I [TS]

  obese i love that smells it was not so [TS]

  why what's not to love [TS]

  and I was like what you mean people live [TS]

  in a town that's mostly contrarians all [TS]

  year round [TS]

  that should be a big theme in our [TS]

  musical every little thing you get to [TS]

  pick what kind of city you live in basic [TS]

  happened and it should happen in cedar [TS]

  rapids i met her in a town that smelled [TS]

  like cheerios there are those are very [TS]

  distinctive smell the whole town now [TS]

  like when you go to busch gardens on if [TS]

  you're into a bush gardens but it smells [TS]

  intensely of hops because of the brewery [TS]

  there and you know it first kind of [TS]

  interesting but then it's really not [TS]

  it's because really overbearing you [TS]

  can't stop noticing you know it's like [TS]

  living with a smoker [TS]

  do you like eventually stopped noticing [TS]

  the crunch do you think I know you've [TS]

  been sleeping have even have been having [TS]

  something I haven't slept in and I can't [TS]

  believe I can't believe that you could [TS]

  become so cynical you could become so in [TS]

  newer to the smell of contraries that [TS]

  you would ever not wake up and think oh [TS]

  right it's so much a part of the culture [TS]

  how could you ever stop really enjoying [TS]

  that on a day-to-day basis right which [TS]

  is why do you go to see so many local [TS]

  bands [TS]

  that's right the local bands are well I [TS]

  used to the young people what they're [TS]

  doing with music the new people the [TS]

  beards the longer beards i'm not i'm [TS]

  afraid that young people aren't doing [TS]

  anything new with music is that is that [TS]

  her radical to say up not only is that [TS]

  true but yes I don't want to interrupt [TS]

  you but I have a house I have something [TS]

  on that but yes I i totally agree [TS]

  I yeah I don't I mean I do go see young [TS]

  bears all the time [TS]

  Cassie question real quick before we [TS]

  lose it how the reception was the [TS]

  reception for a long winter show like in [TS]

  cedar rapids we've never played cedar [TS]

  rapids we we do quite well I'm sorry [TS]

  that I wasn't there wasn't one of your [TS]

  Charles Kuralt adventures we went on a [TS]

  place that's right i was in a i was in a [TS]

  camper with a with my faithful dog [TS]

  Charlie and we're traveling her America [TS]

  old Charlie it in the late fifties early [TS]

  sixties and stealing panties all along [TS]

  the way crunch berries they have [TS]

  invented them yet and this is that smell [TS]

  so great [TS]

  no iowa city we do quite well in Canada [TS]

  because iowa city is a place of [TS]

  discernment and just look at the name [TS]

  like creativity going on my whole city [TS]

  that's right they get they get floods [TS]

  they get tornadoes it's fascinating you [TS]

  know I found from we did we discussed [TS]

  Pittsburgh last week and it didn't cause [TS]

  me to be thinking about Pittsburgh all [TS]

  week [TS]

  another great city there are a lot of [TS]

  great cities in America it's a hell of [TS]

  it it's a hell of a place [TS]

  it really is yeah I never been to Iowa [TS]

  town or Iowa Burke but I've always want [TS]

  to go to Iowa City haha I i avoid making [TS]

  or reading end of your lists partly [TS]

  because I recall [TS]

  well there's nothing bad about them and [TS]

  interact cancer [TS]

  well they're kind of cancer there's the [TS]

  top ten carcinomas according to Rolling [TS]

  Stone but you know I mean for me and [TS]

  this is a blog things all it'll be short [TS]

  but i think a lot of them like so many [TS]

  ways God knows blogs or blog things are [TS]

  typically short [TS]

  hmm the headlines sometimes longer than [TS]

  the post but you know me like I you know [TS]

  you know me but I you know in our [TS]

  interview we did many years ago you [TS]

  talked about how the whole idea and [TS]

  blogging is that have this little thing [TS]

  that's the size of a can of tuna and [TS]

  then you just surrounded with ads I [TS]

  think today [TS]

  like so many of the lists that we find [TS]

  on the global Internet [TS]

  I think they're largely about affiliate [TS]

  links i think it's about linking amazon [TS]

  and making five percent off what people [TS]

  buy think it's what they do it you you [TS]

  go you go and look it's either going to [TS]

  be a list that's made into multiple [TS]

  pages you have to click on this boring [TS]

  so we'll be quick or you see it's a [TS]

  whole bunch of the 500 top albums of the [TS]

  year you will almost never see one of [TS]

  those lists that doesn't have links to [TS]

  somewhere where people make money and [TS]

  that that's not that removes all [TS]

  credibility but you know if the impetus [TS]

  for what you decide to write it is based [TS]

  on getting people to buy something then [TS]

  you're really writing ad copy right [TS]

  rather than producing pros [TS]

  oh my god you have opened up a can of [TS]

  worms that appeared to be a can of tuna [TS]

  surrounded by ads food but which I'm [TS]

  sorry which I write down for that people [TS]

  are can of tuna / worms ads okay i don't [TS]

  know i don't know what shorthand you use [TS]

  on your I think we can't let the circle [TS]

  back to this because I think we may have [TS]

  found a hot spot and I think to be [TS]

  honest with you that relates to the [TS]

  point i was going to make which is that [TS]

  I accidentally looked at a couple list [TS]

  medalists of like what people thought of [TS]

  as the best downs and i downloaded i [TS]

  bought a couple on the itunes store [TS]

  actually did hi there [TS]

  well the tomb I got that I like okay [TS]

  a well one of them was this band called [TS]

  what is it a contingency plan [TS]

  Intercontinental history [TS]

  I don't know what they're called both of [TS]

  those are great band names contingency [TS]

  plan that's opening for intercontinental [TS]

  history that Travis Morrison thing but [TS]

  they were there good but I'm a crack guy [TS]

  the other day on the Twitter about this [TS]

  i mean so much [TS]

  farewell continental it was one band any [TS]

  other was being called yuck and and I [TS]

  can already guess what you i can already [TS]

  guess what you think about yoga if [TS]

  you've ever heard them fine [TS]

  farewell coming out like its patent [TS]

  thing where and if you saw this but you [TS]

  know how CDs and music in general have [TS]

  gotten really really really loud [TS]

  how does not a lot of dynamic range [TS]

  anymore yeah that's like yeah that's one [TS]

  of the the pet peeves of all them people [TS]

  I work with [TS]

  well not just the audio files but [TS]

  certainly like recording engineers the [TS]

  people who are recording engineers and [TS]

  mastering engineers the people who are [TS]

  responsible [TS]

  yeah for me actually the master guys [TS]

  alright the master is our the way to do [TS]

  it [TS]

  they all hate it they despise it you pop [TS]

  album it looks like a rectangle if you [TS]

  have it the way I more like this is [TS]

  terrible but then they do it because [TS]

  it's what people want [TS]

  well yeah and if somebody puts it in and [TS]

  it's not with the Nuremberg defense huh [TS]

  I was just following waveforms right [TS]

  yeah it's a I you know I don't [TS]

  personally hate the Jews it's just what [TS]

  people want right well you know you [TS]

  gotta you gotta vote with your III one [TS]

  of these I don't know it's pretty good [TS]

  it's good pop songs but I had a crack [TS]

  about this on Twitter yesterday on for [TS]

  two days ago whatever but it was it's so [TS]

  I mean I just can't believe how much pop [TS]

  music you can actually hear the pitch [TS]

  correction on [TS]

  I don't know really well it's heavily we [TS]

  don't talk about where they'll put it [TS]

  right on maybe right on the key where [TS]

  it's it really there's not even like [TS]

  glissandos yes it sounds almost like [TS]

  shares song you know believe right or [TS]

  you there [TS]

  it's it but it's that and combined with [TS]

  an extraordinary amount i don't know [TS]

  it's gated a huge amount of compression [TS]

  and so that everybody sounds like their [TS]

  voices exploding and perfect pitch all [TS]

  the time and but this whole record it's [TS]

  like every every instrument is too loud [TS]

  and it's it for people who want to [TS]

  listen to a certain kind of like really [TS]

  loud in your headphones running around [TS]

  music but like it's weird it doesn't [TS]

  sound natural [TS]

  it's you know what I mean it's so I [TS]

  don't say overproduced so heavily [TS]

  produced so good it's a good record like [TS]

  it's fun i can see what people like it's [TS]

  very poppy but I be you can dance to it [TS]

  I I finance that probably dance I like a [TS]

  beat but did you ever dance like no [TS]

  one's watching something I do i do this [TS]

  to increase joy division dance sometimes [TS]

  so yeah [TS]

  oh I just had a mental picture of you [TS]

  doing that he and Kurdistan sort of AI [TS]

  video of it that's the thing that the [TS]

  thing that worries me [TS]

  alright doesn't worry me it's just a it [TS]

  fills my mind with with the ones and [TS]

  zeroes instead of what should be filling [TS]

  my mind which is sleep or or good [TS]

  tidings but it fills my mind that this [TS]

  this question bar on the pop music side [TS]

  you know i i've always been a proponent [TS]

  of the idea that all this stuff is just [TS]

  the technology it's all in a way of [TS]

  making music and people used to do you [TS]

  remember the days when people with [TS]

  Yammer on about gated snares and too [TS]

  much reverb if you'll additionally [TS]

  called that one of the things we're not [TS]

  allowed to talk about yeah and it's one [TS]

  of those things where it's just like you [TS]

  know what it's just a technology it's [TS]

  just it it's just a sound and no untrue [TS]

  John there are no bad sounds well wait [TS]

  but but but I I feel like pop music is [TS]

  becoming I mean that the the generation [TS]

  that we came from which was like embrace [TS]

  the flaw celebrate the flaw celebrate [TS]

  the human nervous that the kids now just [TS]

  are like boring you know we can we can [TS]

  make it perfect and it takes nothing to [TS]

  do we just click click are our little [TS]

  box and and all the waveforms are [TS]

  straight lines and and instant [TS]

  perfection but at the same time those [TS]

  same kids are the compulsively unedited [TS]

  bloggers right i mean that's that same [TS]

  generation are the are the ones who are [TS]

  blogging [TS]

  or writing certainly tweeting with no [TS]

  sense of punctuation no sense of [TS]

  complete complete thought [TS]

  no sense that once you've droned on for [TS]

  five thousand words maybe you should go [TS]

  read it one time and cut-out 2500 of [TS]

  those words to make your thing [TS]

  tighter to make your thing better so on [TS]

  the one hand the culture is speeding [TS]

  headlong into this like over sanitized [TS]

  like oh like lack of lack of any sign of [TS]

  human hands ever being late on the thing [TS]

  just like robot music whoo [TS]

  and on the other hand like the the [TS]

  written culture it is this is this world [TS]

  of people just like it's just it's just [TS]

  spew culture right where there's no [TS]

  there's they haven't done and done the [TS]

  minimum amount of editing to make it [TS]

  even seemed human so it's inhumane in [TS]

  the other way where it's a it's so rude [TS]

  and so scatological it's not even yeah [TS]

  I'm trying event an analogy I I don't [TS]

  completely disagree if I'd love to see [TS]

  anybody write a five thousand word post [TS]

  i don't think that happens anymore if I [TS]

  got all the time u u9 like I'm not [TS]

  reflected in all not a professional blog [TS]

  that's the problem [TS]

  what's a professional blog called Pro [TS]

  blogging and go go anywhere where [TS]

  somebody posts like this is so boring [TS]

  that's 50 times a day when I just talked [TS]

  about the internet on all right sorry [TS]

  you're right you're right but I don't [TS]

  know but not here think of it this way I [TS]

  I kind of lament well as what's weird [TS]

  itunes kinda brought this back but I [TS]

  kind of lament the loss of the single as [TS]

  an art form like either so many bands i [TS]

  like that I the move comes to mind but [TS]

  there are so many bands that or the [TS]

  beatles like a lot of the beatles best [TS]

  stuff never appeared on a proper english [TS]

  album they got glommed together for some [TS]

  American abortions but the there are no [TS]

  yeah what I mean like yesterday and [TS]

  today or whatever is really just a [TS]

  collection of singles in Americans don't [TS]

  deserve good things well and then what's [TS]

  cool is when they put out the proper UK [TS]

  version on CD then they made past [TS]

  masters 12 which was fantastic but their [TS]

  singles collection [TS]

  you didn't like that you know are you [TS]

  kidding i loved it but but we're talking [TS]

  about the Beatles [TS]

  well here's the thing we should reserve [TS]

  that for our podcast and imagine Harlan [TS]

  talk about the big notes i got our hands [TS]

  on a card every week John Paul McCartney [TS]

  the piers think like yesterday we will [TS]

  listen into the cock rock station and [TS]

  they played over the hills and far away [TS]

  which i think is close to the point [TS]

  where legs up on became less interesting [TS]

  but they were still interesting and it's [TS]

  a great song it was a physical graffiti [TS]

  I think so [TS]

  no it's good it's a good song but what's [TS]

  funny is it's got dynamic range to it [TS]

  like it's loud and quiet and at the end [TS]

  i don't know if it isn't making armpit [TS]

  might be electric piano but John Paul [TS]

  Jones plays this like little quiet bit [TS]

  at the end it fades out and then it [TS]

  fades back in and the noise of our [TS]

  kitchen I was like all this is the song [TS]

  went off even 500 hundred times I was [TS]

  like and then it comes back in like you [TS]

  would never hear that today you would [TS]

  never hear something like an errand was [TS]

  the Beatles song that's got the long [TS]

  fade out in the feedback in was not on [TS]

  the walrus or strawberry fields anyone [TS]

  know some get some [TS]

  she's so heavy no it's not no it's not [TS]

  another one another one of the this [TS]

  anyway and then barreled down arrow now [TS]

  while while while while around dude [TS]

  skelter yeah yeah maybe you can do that [TS]

  today because people would flip the [TS]

  channel right and that's that's why I [TS]

  think this way there are the fleet foxes [TS]

  my to it because they're artists i never [TS]

  heard the fleet foxes and it's just [TS]

  these names are just crazy making me [TS]

  anyway if I never got back to you [TS]

  because you're important in this [TS]

  conversation but think of it this way [TS]

  with the whole blog racket [TS]

  the thing is if you want to make any [TS]

  money on a blog you have to post a lot [TS]

  and often and get people to click [TS]

  through and up and so the whole nature [TS]

  of that is to produce these things that [TS]

  aren't even singles which are producing [TS]

  is the equivalent of look at first draft [TS]

  of a jingle and money jingle based on [TS]

  somebody else's song and you might bury [TS]

  the fact that somebody else's long in a [TS]

  link about you know after the jump as [TS]

  they say or whatever like you know and [TS]

  as the way i can read this stuff anymore [TS]

  because it really it really has become [TS]

  such a [TS]

  let's not become such a factory of [TS]

  unpalatable confections like to tell me [TS]

  when I tell me how you how you do with [TS]

  this because because your life I don't [TS]

  have a blog imports everybody open this [TS]

  but you are you are so internet you're [TS]

  so wrapped up in the internet yeah [TS]

  and yet II feel these moments i'm [TS]

  certainly feeling right now where you [TS]

  don't have to step back from the [TS]

  internet very far at all to feel like uh [TS]

  well this could consume my every waking [TS]

  moment or maybe it's absolutely [TS]

  meaningless like maybe none of this [TS]

  matters at all and I I can't think of [TS]

  them [TS]

  I can't think of a precedent in human [TS]

  life where there was something like this [TS]

  that could be so all-encompassing and [TS]

  yet potentially and then this is the [TS]

  thing I think the jury's still out [TS]

  potentially be like me really add up to [TS]

  bacchus yeah but I mean the problem [TS]

  there is that god this is so tedious the [TS]

  problem there is that it's the internet [TS]

  is not the problem that is like that's [TS]

  not like that's kind of like like not [TS]

  liking books or not liking music well I [TS]

  agree with that in the medium it says [TS]

  it's just a medium except it isn't just [TS]

  a medium that books are not a thing that [TS]

  you sit and used to talk to your friends [TS]

  and keep in touch with your grandmother [TS]

  and store all your photos and I mean oh [TS]

  you're saying it's it's not taking on [TS]

  the role of such a broader thing its it [TS]

  people are putting their entire lives [TS]

  nothing and spending their entire lives [TS]

  on the thing I i don't know i'm just i'm [TS]

  going through a really weird phase right [TS]

  now where I'm feeling like because you [TS]

  argue with people you gotta quit arguing [TS]

  with you oh no you didn't argue with [TS]

  people happy sleep have turkey one of [TS]

  those things feel am I answer i'm so mad [TS]

  right now I want to hear about this I [TS]

  don't want to finish one thought that [TS]

  hopefully will bring this together and [TS]

  in some ways which is this is this is [TS]

  what it means to be old what it means to [TS]

  be old is that when you hear some band [TS]

  and you go as I said a hundred times [TS]

  oh they're pretty good well what that [TS]

  really reminds me of his joy division [TS]

  and then I go listen Unknown Pleasures I [TS]

  i listen to this other man at all [TS]

  really cool that's like a [TS]

  fifth-generation Buzzcocks thing and [TS]

  that makes you want to go listen to what [TS]

  singles going steady or whatever and so [TS]

  on and so on this makes you want to go [TS]

  listen inevitably IM back with the same [TS]

  35 albums like that like Pixies I always [TS]

  end up so often going this just makes [TS]

  you want to listen to come on pilgrim [TS]

  sure our or you know or whatever the [TS]

  kids don't have those that access to the [TS]

  source material things change people [TS]

  always talk about the kids I don't know [TS]

  boy so what I'm saying is with the [TS]

  internet and as you call it for me [TS]

  that's about finding trusted sources [TS]

  that you like and twitter is a great [TS]

  example is that you don't have to see [TS]

  well before they added that all the [TS]

  bullshit with the promoted stuff you [TS]

  don't have to say anything on twitter [TS]

  you don't want to see unless you choose [TS]

  to see it but I don't talk about so I'm [TS]

  talking about zooming out a lot further [TS]

  than that to a place where where the [TS]

  question of what makes a valuable life [TS]

  is like did you chop some wood today you [TS]

  know yeah you can keep you can either [TS]

  leave you literally literally do not [TS]

  want to get me started on this because I [TS]

  you know but I I this is what you do for [TS]

  a living you that you don't have [TS]

  anything to drink I'm a dick about that [TS]

  point professionally that's kind of what [TS]

  i do this that's why come here talk [TS]

  about busman's holiday this is but I'm [TS]

  karaoke government but you're right [TS]

  you're right again I'd be remiss not [TS]

  somebody who is this is right with two [TS]

  points i went ahead and i did put a lot [TS]

  of threads together here John using an [TS]

  extraordinary amount of pitch correction [TS]

  and compression I did record a version [TS]

  of my karaoke jam so you can listen to [TS]

  kenny rogers she believes angry and did [TS]

  you use pitch correction and little bit [TS]

  yeah I deliberately over-processed it to [TS]

  make the point but it says she believes [TS]

  in me by Kenny Rogers the other thing [TS]

  depend on this banyak i love it it's [TS]

  great but here's what's funny about that [TS]

  is you listen to the instant the first [TS]

  song comes on it gives me total would [TS]

  because it sounds exactly like teenage [TS]

  fanclub being covered by dinosaur like a [TS]

  dinosaur sound with it like a teenage [TS]

  like everything flows teenage fanclub [TS]

  some you start listening to it and then [TS]

  it sounds a little bit like Sonic Youth [TS]

  it sounds a little bit like at the later [TS]

  teenage fanclub know what's funny about [TS]

  that was funny about that is each one of [TS]

  those bands sounds like other bands [TS]

  before them my teenage fanclub already [TS]

  sounded a lot like sonic youth and [TS]

  dinosaur so it's weird to me that like [TS]

  you talk about recursion [TS]

  I don't know if I'm gonna listen to this [TS]

  album for six months I don't know if six [TS]

  months from now still be listening this [TS]

  because it is like a lot like a [TS]

  highlights reel of the nineties for me [TS]

  the late eighties and early nineties [TS]

  which is my favorite period in music I [TS]

  have to say when I mean that in the [TS]

  mid-sixties but anyway the point being [TS]

  like that's that's the weird thing [TS]

  and this brings me round james joyce [TS]

  which we should come back to but um [TS]

  thats all i want to say about that now i [TS]

  want to hear about what you're angry [TS]

  about [TS]

  I'm always interested in what's burning [TS]

  you up how i had another note here so do [TS]

  you think you're like Charles Kuralt in [TS]

  bristol and to be honest I'm [TS]

  overthinking [TS]

  hmm i'll come back to that what are you [TS]

  angry about John what so let's be in [TS]

  your bonnet 00 i I'm I'm i think i'm [TS]

  just angry at that at the at one of said [TS]

  the fact that I feel like I I'm a [TS]

  non-starter [TS]

  now i I'm I'm not I'm not I'm not making [TS]

  the transition I'm not I'm not I'm not [TS]

  changing gears to get with the times I [TS]

  feel like I am stick-in-the-mud not a [TS]

  stick-in-the-mud exactly not exactly an [TS]

  old fogey [TS]

  no no I feel like a there there's a [TS]

  frustrated contrarian yeah that's it [TS]

  frustrated contrary and i feel like i [TS]

  have been counter you know that the the [TS]

  mistake you make when you see the [TS]

  problem in everything is to is to is to [TS]

  take solace in the in the contrary and [TS]

  that is not a position where you're [TS]

  you're you're making anything it's not [TS]

  an active place [TS]

  yes at each tip it's a passive place [TS]

  it's a it's what teenagers do its what [TS]

  pundits do its what if there's it's a [TS]

  respectable place in modern life you [TS]

  know people people love the guy that [TS]

  sits on the side and and conventions [TS]

  some people some people turn that into [TS]

  art well can look at the Kings look at [TS]

  the kinks think about think about the [TS]

  the classic kinks arc starting [TS]

  especially with something else going [TS]

  through Muswell Hill billies like each [TS]

  one of those records is in some ways a [TS]

  get ready for two saat where it's a a [TS]

  pastoral landscape Ian that's not make [TS]

  it sound like penis you say that's Greek [TS]

  gotta pae in it [TS]

  I am trip tribute am pain am 22 to an [TS]

  old British pastoral life that's what [TS]

  village green Preservation Society [TS]

  fucking means so they I'm just saying [TS]

  and that guy was crazy to like you so [TS]

  you could you could do your emerald city [TS]

  preservation society because I need you [TS]

  know what he had he had a brother that [TS]

  he hated him and that he needed you know [TS]

  he had a brother that he was that he [TS]

  made all that music to really probably [TS]

  just a board is going to provoke it just [TS]

  to make his brother Matt like Oh check [TS]

  it out i wrote another five great songs [TS]

  today younger suckier I think paige i [TS]

  think it was the tommy shaw of the Kings [TS]

  well see him that or Tommy Shaw I [TS]

  thought you were talking about Tommy [TS]

  Stinson I think he's the tommy stinson [TS]

  of the kinks [TS]

  oh the one who keeps a rock and [TS]

  absolutely absolutely get you know [TS]

  that's good but I was a seat i'm shocked [TS]

  as he wanted like Tommy Smith's and you [TS]

  know it could be John do you think [TS]

  everybody named Tommy the band wants to [TS]

  rock more than their people are rockin M [TS]

  or some of the other time is that's all [TS]

  I got [TS]

  well there's Tommy mm-hmm [TS]

  I don't know hmm looks like ladies [TS]

  harmony that's what makes the song [TS]

  things I i think that it i think you for [TS]

  a curmudgeon if a curmudgeon does not [TS]

  have a nemesis then the world becomes [TS]

  the convergence nemesis whereas if the [TS]

  curmudgeon has a nemesis he can he can [TS]

  focus all that energy on a on a solitary [TS]

  point right and then and then the the [TS]

  kind of the smoke clears that he can [TS]

  look at the rest of the world with a [TS]

  little bit more of a if not rosy then at [TS]

  least like open-minded but some kind of [TS]

  sense that like oh I everything I hate [TS]

  IRA positive in this in my asshole [TS]

  little brother or you know how unique [TS]

  you know Jeannie antithesis need a smart [TS]

  heatsink eating somewhere you need [TS]

  somebody who's a worthy a worthy [TS]

  opponent for you that can be your what [TS]

  like your uh which called United [TS]

  whipping boy but like that you know [TS]

  Shirley Jackson lottery type situation [TS]

  yeah but here's the problem but [TS]

  and these days you get into an argument [TS]

  with anybody you can argue with [TS]

  everybody John and what do you get into [TS]

  an argument everybody but you get into [TS]

  an argument with somebody let's say for [TS]

  instance and then a lot of it happens on [TS]

  texting now which I know is a terrible [TS]

  way to conduct an argument but that's it [TS]

  you're not talking about Twitter you're [TS]

  talking about your friends [TS]

  oh yeah thanks to my friends and argued [TS]

  with them because you're not talking [TS]

  about just a random dude who like one [TS]

  song your band-aid followed you and now [TS]

  hates you for talking about Nazis no no [TS]

  i'm talking about the people that occupy [TS]

  my my daily life for your friends and I [TS]

  get into arguments with because they are [TS]

  idiots a lot of times and I'm and I'm [TS]

  here to straighten them out and then we [TS]

  get into a text argument and here's what [TS]

  people do these days they send three or [TS]

  four like whiny bitchy text back and [TS]

  forth and then they go okay you know [TS]

  what that's it I'm done you know what [TS]

  you're talking about [TS]

  wer wer were having an argument and [TS]

  they're like no I'm done kinda wish i [TS]

  could never these people are done will [TS]

  be done or not done this isn't it this [TS]

  isn't like this isn't a pop quiz that [TS]

  you're just like over grabbing an [TS]

  argument like reengage but nobody wants [TS]

  to engage nobody wants to engage in in [TS]

  that in a discourse that is anything [TS]

  other than then constantly reassuring [TS]

  constantly validating right you know [TS]

  their their conversations with other [TS]

  people and the world they everybody [TS]

  structuring their world now so that the [TS]

  news they get and the the texts that [TS]

  they get from their friends are always [TS]

  like you're the best two thumbs up on my [TS]

  god let's get this back to 22 core [TS]

  points which is the bad words and I [TS]

  don't have beat this to death but the [TS]

  fact that you're not gonna be able to [TS]

  help them if they're just looking for [TS]

  you to console them what you have to [TS]

  offer than the penetration of your help [TS]

  in a lot of ways it is to sports them to [TS]

  stay with it maybe maybe to look up all [TS]

  night texting to receive it [TS]

  here's the problem i millions may not go [TS]

  to bed we're not done I am really i'm up [TS]

  a creek right now because I'm realizing [TS]

  that their refusal to stay with it is [TS]

  not only they are not only missing out [TS]

  on the opportunity to have me straighten [TS]

  them out but I'm feeling [TS]

  I'm feeling the loneliness I'm feeling [TS]

  the estrangement from from tribe from [TS]

  having my primary way of engaging with [TS]

  other people to be or you know [TS]

  traditionally being like hey that thing [TS]

  you just did was fucked up and here's [TS]

  why and that's my primary way of of of [TS]

  uh of talking to people and nobody wants [TS]

  to hear any more bodies like out that's [TS]

  it [TS]

  united you said too much and then so I'm [TS]

  i like I doors are closing all around me [TS]

  nobody wants to be my friend anymore [TS]

  now I find that very hard to believe it [TS]

  won't be or at least I can't continue i [TS]

  can't i can't maintain up a thread of [TS]

  conversation that goes through the five [TS]

  stages of conversate of argumentative [TS]

  conversation [TS]

  cool but George Ross thing which are you [TS]

  know like first login bargaining you you [TS]

  start off with a premise that you both [TS]

  agree on the initial premise then you [TS]

  find the thing that you that you [TS]

  disagree about her when you inflate the [TS]

  significance of your disagreement until [TS]

  you really have an all-out war about [TS]

  something and then you resort to ad [TS]

  hominem attacks and then you realize [TS]

  that you're fighting over something that [TS]

  doesn't matter to either one of you and [TS]

  you apologizing have rough sex you know [TS]

  essentially you apologize and take the [TS]

  other one out for coffee or whatever [TS]

  she'll cover whatever or have some rough [TS]

  sex but now you get up to you you start [TS]

  you get up to the ad hominem attacks a [TS]

  place which is the place I don't like to [TS]

  go i'm not an ad hominem attacker [TS]

  that's why I only mention that i only [TS]

  mention that plateau because that's [TS]

  where people that's where that's where [TS]

  most you just worry that so many so many [TS]

  of these cocksuckers are out there [TS]

  working on at hominem attacks they start [TS]

  they start with some ad hominem attacks [TS]

  at me and all I can do is reply in kind [TS]

  John I don't like i'm done i've done i [TS]

  don't want to keep your head up [TS]

  I don't like to give you notes but kind [TS]

  just make one I do not want to become [TS]

  part of the problem [TS]

  I'm begging for notes right now is there [TS]

  a chance the text messages are an [TS]

  imperfect medium for the level of [TS]

  discourse that you're looking for [TS]

  the thing about one thing about text [TS]

  messaging that wasn't really an answer [TS]

  here's the problem favorite actors [TS]

  thinking about sex myths and I'm great [TS]

  at it [TS]

  I am great at carrying on an argument [TS]

  via text messaging and it's just that [TS]

  other people can't keep up and it's so [TS]

  infuriating [TS]

  well you know John I i'll drop some [TS]

  serious science on somebody in a text [TS]

  message him and all they read is that I [TS]

  said something about their mom my no no [TS]

  I said something about your mommy [TS]

  amazon resort to the admin stock up on [TS]

  you know what you need i I don't want to [TS]

  give you a note here but you need you [TS]

  need you need fucking hate when people [TS]

  talk about this movie you need your own [TS]

  version of fight club you need to meet [TS]

  with other assholes who in [TS]

  boo-hoo-hoo-hoo can I do [TS]

  well i don't know i mean apparently the [TS]

  guy was faked the whole time [TS]

  spoiler alert but here's the thing you [TS]

  need if you here's the thing you are [TS]

  essentially saying that people are [TS]

  arguing wrong right now and so you need [TS]

  to find somebody who agrees that you're [TS]

  incredibly broken way of communicating [TS]

  with people is not only acceptable but I [TS]

  really the kind of thing that could be [TS]

  very relaxing [TS]

  so I i saw eventually a somnambulist [TS]

  when you're done when you both literally [TS]

  both of your batteries run out your [TS]

  phones have died you can finally go to [TS]

  sleep for a couple hours before the [TS]

  elegance movies start this is what I'm [TS]

  saying to you John is you need to seek [TS]

  out somebody in an underground culture [TS]

  I'm not saying go to the GoSee fleet [TS]

  foxes or something they even underground [TS]

  still not really here you're saying that [TS]

  it's some kind of dominatrix culture [TS]

  we're not at all not at all it's closer [TS]

  to that stupid fight club thing you need [TS]

  to meet with a lot of broken people who [TS]

  buy things from ikea and then like to [TS]

  hit each other in a basement [TS]

  you need to find somebody who likes the [TS]

  same thing that you do and and in time [TS]

  in the fullness of time John I think you [TS]

  need if I may say i'm not giving you a [TS]

  note here i'm giving you anything that [TS]

  you need to narrow your focus on 21 [TS]

  nemesis not somebody you hate somebody [TS]

  you grudgingly respect who you can text [TS]

  with all night so that you can have [TS]

  friends again [TS]

  thought so there there are so many of [TS]

  those are there a lot of people that i [TS]

  grudgingly respect but the problem with [TS]

  the problem with that is that there's [TS]

  always this shit friction will know [TS]

  hierarchies are so tenuous now like back [TS]

  in the old days if if we lived in if [TS]

  let's say we lived in cedar falls [TS]

  Cedar Rapids let's say we lived in cedar [TS]

  rapids in 1900 right at there would be [TS]

  out there there's a limited number of [TS]

  people in the town [TS]

  nobody's moving anywhere you pick your [TS]

  nemesis you pick your friends eat you [TS]

  can you figure out what the hierarchy of [TS]

  the unit of of the group is everybody's [TS]

  got their everybody's on their maslow [TS]

  trip or whatever and then you then you [TS]

  hash it out on a daily basis but now [TS]

  these hierarchies are all spread across [TS]

  the internet so that if you engage with [TS]

  somebody and they don't like your tone [TS]

  or they don't like your they don't like [TS]

  the cut of your jib or whatever they [TS]

  just they don't have to turn their back [TS]

  on you they just turn their focus three [TS]

  degrees away from you and there are [TS]

  10,000 other people who are buying for [TS]

  their attention you know what I mean [TS]

  this is the problem with with [TS]

  particularly when you become more of a [TS]

  public person yourself then you're in a [TS]

  year in a realm where you're talking to [TS]

  other public people and you all have [TS]

  y'all have only to turn your attention [TS]

  one or two degrees in any direction and [TS]

  a whole new world opens up so nobody has [TS]

  the nobody has the the skin in the game [TS]

  enough to sit and really engage with [TS]

  somebody who is who is counter them you [TS]

  know what I mean I do [TS]

  nobody wants to sit and have somebody [TS]

  make points at their expense for a [TS]

  prolonged period of time which is what [TS]

  to having an argument with me is like [TS]

  just sitting across from me why [TS]

  numerically well what where I enumerate [TS]

  all the reasons that they are flawed and [TS]

  they have to just accept it if they have [TS]

  a brain in their head [TS]

  nobody wants to do that they just turned [TS]

  their attention three degrees there are [TS]

  10,000 other people on Twitter who are [TS]

  there telling them that they're great [TS]

  and that they love their stuff and that [TS]

  there they can't wait for their new blog [TS]

  post or their new book or whatever and [TS]

  and something is lost i'm feeling the [TS]

  loss [TS]

  nobody's talking to me that way anymore [TS]

  I mean even a few years ago you would [TS]

  read reviews of your band that were some [TS]

  of them still pretty scathing I mean [TS]

  obviously I haven't put [TS]

  the record in years but you get you [TS]

  hardly even see intelligent criticism [TS]

  intelligent negative criticism anymore [TS]

  on the internet it's just sand stuff or [TS]

  its or it's a it's like real base-level [TS]

  takedown stuff but i but i'm not talking [TS]

  about the internet now I'm talking about [TS]

  my relationships with people in my own [TS]

  town did this you did this used to work [TS]

  for you i mean III just can't get away [TS]

  from the problem with the texting III my [TS]

  yellow I'll set that aside if you want i [TS]

  cannot think of a worse way short shorts [TS]

  like sending chess moves through the [TS]

  mail i cannot think of a worse way to [TS]

  try and have an intelligent conversation [TS]

  with one of the problems might be who [TS]

  that I have a mental illness no no let's [TS]

  let's really set that aside cause i [TS]

  really liked the show up let me you know [TS]

  i don't i bergen goes you know what [TS]

  asshole you're actually made of wood [TS]

  I'm I'm trying he needs them for the act [TS]

  I'm trying to say to myself don't carry [TS]

  on arguments with people via text [TS]

  messaging but then I do it anyway all [TS]

  just there's a part of me that that that [TS]

  likes to take relationships up to the [TS]

  edge to see what they're made them i [TS]

  think i think that's starting to become [TS]

  clear [TS]

  mhm and that isn't paying off for me [TS]

  right now [TS]

  yeah I true i just keep all these people [TS]

  an ad that I I know or in familiar with [TS]

  that you're having these texts arguments [TS]

  with some of them yes some of them you [TS]

  know in fact most of you probably know [TS]

  not familiar with in someone you're [TS]

  familiar with them whoo-hoo-hoo i texted [TS]

  someone in california the other day [TS]

  notnot the other day last night i texted [TS]

  a friend in California and high [TS]

  considered provoking an argument with [TS]

  them just to see what happened and then [TS]

  at the last minute I realized I was too [TS]

  tired [TS]

  m and so I just kept it at the level of [TS]

  I kept our text exchange at the level of [TS]

  fun banter exhaustion is really all that [TS]

  keeps you civil that that knot or or an [TS]

  argument with yourself [TS]

  about about that you refuse to listen to [TS]

  about what you could be doing wrong with [TS]

  this process you've got a lot of John [TS]

  this is a multi layer cake if I'm [TS]

  missing my friend [TS]

  it really is a you like cake here's what [TS]

  I'm terrified of I am terrified of [TS]

  niceness I do not want to become nice i [TS]

  do not want to get indoctrinated into a [TS]

  world where niceness is the currency and [TS]

  yet i dont i I've never wanted to be [TS]

  intentionally rude or mean not at all so [TS]

  at and I right now I'm stuck in this [TS]

  polarized the the poll from this from [TS]

  the darkside to just you know to just [TS]

  start to get bitter and mean and angry [TS]

  for its own sake I I don't obviously I [TS]

  don't want to go that direction but but [TS]

  everything is so nice now everyone on [TS]

  the other side is so cotton candy pink [TS]

  poofy LA and I just can't relate to that [TS]

  way of talking to each other not not if [TS]

  not anybody that I care about you so I [TS]

  don't know what to do I don't want to [TS]

  become very thought of volunteering [TS]

  somewhere i think if you were to go to a [TS]

  local home for the agent for example [TS]

  maybe a hospice are old people smell bad [TS]

  exactly [TS]

  it gives you all the more ammunition and [TS]

  here's the thing they can't leave these [TS]

  are people who think they're let me just [TS]

  give you okay so hey might be honest I [TS]

  well here's the thing they do you know [TS]

  old man you think you know that's right [TS]

  keep going up [TS]

  here's the thing you know you're korea [TS]

  korea that's that's your feather in your [TS]

  come out of police action that was no [TS]

  police action [TS]

  well there's two things I like about [TS]

  this John and the the United like either [TS]

  of them here's the first one is they [TS]

  don't text index is good this takes you [TS]

  out of your comfort zone or discomfort [TS]

  zone increasingly you're going to get in [TS]

  there with people who literally smell [TS]

  like pee and are very close to death [TS]

  they're not going to be there not this [TS]

  is going to force you into a new medium [TS]

  now what you may or may not like I don't [TS]

  know if this is going to make them [TS]

  worthy adversary [TS]

  I'm just saying you might find an [TS]

  emphasis in a really deeply crippled man [TS]

  with dementia partly because he can't [TS]

  leave [TS]

  he can't he can't not text you back hehe [TS]

  literally is in a bed and mobile [TS]

  sure and you know what he might be [TS]

  spunky you can't get rid of the ruling [TS]

  ideas it back in the sixties he hasn't [TS]

  learned a new things since the johnson [TS]

  administration fee for the waning days [TS]

  you probably hated you before you were [TS]

  born [TS]

  Wow probably hate your dad think oh I [TS]

  like that I like the sound of this [TS]

  well I to start i think if i want to go [TS]

  somewhere [TS]

  yeah I do feel like there's room in my [TS]

  life for selflessness I who mother's [TS]

  room in all of our lives for selfless I [TS]

  don't have a further enough place to set [TS]

  that aside i'm going to write [TS]

  selflessness [TS]

  well let's know it would it would it [TS]

  would help i think getting getting out [TS]

  of your home to argue with people in a [TS]

  different environment is not a bad start [TS]

  you know if you were to go somewhere you [TS]

  know I think part of it is your phone [TS]

  John maybe you should get rid of your [TS]

  phone and you thought about that i have [TS]

  thought about it I maybe I should get [TS]

  rid of money can change your texting [TS]

  plan [TS]

  oh you just make me so mad at AT&T also [TS]

  other at them brother that is a can of [TS]

  what was it worms no you know what i [TS]

  have i have unlimited texting [TS]

  grandfathered in from back when they [TS]

  offered that I fucked up in last line [TS]

  and they want they're always trying to [TS]

  get me to do some new things so I lose [TS]

  my unlimited texting [TS]

  I but I i bought a service from them i [TS]

  added something to my bill and so I lost [TS]

  my grandfather house afrika high-quality [TS]

  services and that's that's the thing [TS]

  they want to do that they want to sucker [TS]

  you every time this I learned this from [TS]

  verizon when I was on them back in the [TS]

  old days [TS]

  who where you know they're like hey take [TS]

  advantage of this great opportunity were [TS]

  offering you I was like that's amazing [TS]

  ok and they said ah but you no longer [TS]

  have free weekends nights and friends [TS]

  because you change your plan and so now [TS]

  you're paying for all these things that [TS]

  you used to this is some old plan you [TS]

  know which it would be a verse to [TS]

  hearing another suggestion [TS]

  yeah no no I I wouldn't be averse okay i [TS]

  think you'll like it because it involves [TS]

  your phone work what if you call [TS]

  companies that made products you don't [TS]

  use and had a beef with them and [TS]

  customer service just to get the ball [TS]

  rolling [TS]

  you know this is the thing that my [TS]

  sister does to great effect love your [TS]

  sister i wish i would have followed her [TS]

  for eight months in college she loves [TS]

  this is so cute i swear to you if you if [TS]

  you have a problem with customer service [TS]

  you can call my sister and ask her to [TS]

  deal with it and she will happily [TS]

  embrace your customer service from [TS]

  Pete's like that we stuck on action line [TS]

  is if you ever had was like on the local [TS]

  news station if you ever need anything [TS]

  done and that's the rule your sister [TS]

  Phyllis here is she is more than happy [TS]

  to wait that thing out and wear him down [TS]

  oh yeah and and and she'll get a [TS]

  customer service person online [TS]

  uh-oh on the phone and you're only [TS]

  hearing one side of the conversation and [TS]

  you're thinking oh my god this person's [TS]

  gonna hang up on her [TS]

  my sister is bab solutely scorched-earth [TS]

  right i mean she's just reading this [TS]

  person the riot act with the biggest [TS]

  smile on her face just having the time [TS]

  of her life and a half an hour later I [TS]

  swear to you the customer service person [TS]

  is giving my sister her home number [TS]

  they're making plans to go snowboarding [TS]

  she has given my sister everything plus [TS]

  that she asked for [TS]

  I mean she wins every time I saw her do [TS]

  this one time we were on a train in the [TS]

  former czechoslovakia but in a Slovakian [TS]

  portion we're in Slovakia and these [TS]

  border guards get on the train so we're [TS]

  just passing through slovakia where we [TS]

  were it was a night train these border [TS]

  guards get on the train and this is [TS]

  early days they were very they were [TS]

  still very like the Warsaw Pact stress [TS]

  out stripes and they're coming through [TS]

  the car and they're checking everybody's [TS]

  visa and they get to our cabin and [TS]

  they're like passports we have our [TS]

  passports were fast asleep you know and [TS]

  they're like your pet your your visas [TS]

  are invalid you're gonna have to get off [TS]

  the train at the next stop [TS]

  and it's three o'clock in the morning [TS]

  and we pull into this station and the [TS]

  stations closed it's like some little [TS]

  teeny village and my sister says we're [TS]

  not getting off this train [TS]

  you know I'm packing my bag i can fuck [TS]

  are we going to do and she's like we're [TS]

  not getting off this train and these [TS]

  guys with machine guns are like no you [TS]

  get off that you have to get off the [TS]

  train you know they don't speak any [TS]

  English [TS]

  and she gets right up in their faces in [TS]

  the in the you know in the hallway of [TS]

  the sleeping car and she's like we're [TS]

  not fucking getting off this train fuck [TS]

  you [TS]

  em and they're like you know it's [TS]

  incredibly fierce stone-faced like Red [TS]

  Army soldier types and you watch these [TS]

  guys absolutely start to quiver in fear [TS]

  as this blonde girl stands on their boot [TS]

  that bhutto's gets right up in their [TS]

  face and then she's like we're Americans [TS]

  we're gonna call it a fucking air strike [TS]

  on you if you if you if you been an [TS]

  eyelash at me right now we are going on [TS]

  to Prague we are going to take this up [TS]

  with that you with your boss at the [TS]

  Embassy we're gonna you know bluck [TS]

  center with my bag and her bag like no [TS]

  no it's ok it's alright [TS]

  oh I'm fine to get off here and she's [TS]

  like you're not moving and you're not [TS]

  moving and the train cars full of people [TS]

  you know gypsies piling into one girl go [TS]

  off on these army guys and then an [TS]

  officer comes and he speaks a little [TS]

  english and she's in his face and pretty [TS]

  soon I swear to you she makes this whole [TS]

  thing like the guards are laughing she's [TS]

  like poking them she's got nicknames [TS]

  forum and you know that pretty soon [TS]

  everybody on the train car is singing a [TS]

  song together and I'm just stand there [TS]

  like I don't know how she does it I do [TS]

  not I do not understand it i watch it [TS]

  happen right in front of me and I don't [TS]

  know where she how she makes the turn [TS]

  but suddenly everybody's not only like [TS]

  how she does it because anybody can do [TS]

  it but like how did she make it work [TS]

  well it makes it work it and and the [TS]

  train keeps moving and we end up with [TS]

  like somebody comes in stamps our [TS]

  passports and it's just like I don't [TS]

  know how this I didn't even know there [TS]

  was somebody on the train that could do [TS]

  that when your north face experience is [TS]

  north face right with the bag problem [TS]

  when that end it was there any seeing [TS]

  the songs [TS]

  Oh No everybody was furious humiliated [TS]

  and furious really really was to get you [TS]

  out of there get the led out of the way [TS]

  but they want to because i was on the [TS]

  phone with corporate headquarters people [TS]

  were telling me up and down your editor [TS]

  the New York Times just couldn't [TS]

  couldn't happen you know when I left [TS]

  there was no like at pat on the back and [TS]

  handshakes I you know I grab my booty [TS]

  and and I I mean I definitely started [TS]

  out the front door [TS]

  triumph full your hair and your sister [TS]

  never has to resort to just like a [TS]

  google me [TS]

  no no sense that it's really i would [TS]

  love to have somebody like that in my [TS]

  life every day but what do you learn [TS]

  from that John is incredibly gifted I [TS]

  don't know what it is that I don't and [TS]

  there are you see people like it in the [TS]

  world and the 10-minute the thing is the [TS]

  10 minutes where she is right up in [TS]

  their face is so excruciating even to [TS]

  witness huh that you have to be prepared [TS]

  to go all the way I think to come out [TS]

  the other side and have everybody [TS]

  befriends the the release of tension [TS]

  when she when she smiles and goes right [TS]

  buddy a like the release of tension is [TS]

  so great at that moment that everybody's [TS]

  just like oh my god I marry me so it is [TS]

  that and with me it's I never I you know [TS]

  I the it's I always try and use reason [TS]

  long past the point of my sister has [TS]

  abandoned reason entirely and is just [TS]

  living in a completely emotional world [TS]

  i'm still trying to reason with the [TS]

  person and the other person's mind shut [TS]

  you know the steel doors shot at a [TS]

  certain point and all they're trying to [TS]

  do is manage you get you out of there [TS]

  store or get you away from them you know [TS]

  so they're not hearing anything [TS]

  listening to reason anymore they're not [TS]

  trying to understand where you're coming [TS]

  from [TS]

  they're just like they're just like I [TS]

  have to deal with this person have to [TS]

  get them away from me i have to get them [TS]

  out of here and by that point it's too [TS]

  late to go to like fully moment full [TS]

  nuclear emotion [TS]

  uh like mushroom cloud because their [TS]

  doors are already shut my sister goes [TS]

  there right away like she gets right [TS]

  inside these peoples world and they [TS]

  can't shut the door behind her she's [TS]

  already like she's already chewing on [TS]

  their cerebral cortex [TS]

  so is there is a chance that I mean [TS]

  setting aside that you're not as let's [TS]

  be honest not as gifted at the at the [TS]

  set as your as your sister is true is it [TS]

  partly that with things like typing on [TS]

  on and costly phone you're not really [TS]

  standing on anybody's boots you know [TS]

  there's logic or emotion or any of the [TS]

  contradictory things you apply to try [TS]

  and get people to i will not climb up on [TS]

  the front of someone's boots for two [TS]

  reasons 1i don't have like a lot of [TS]

  people have a belief system and they [TS]

  will climb up on the front of somebody's [TS]

  boot because they're because their [TS]

  belief system is driving them and I [TS]

  don't have a system of belief i have a [TS]

  dive generalized beliefs i have beliefs [TS]

  that are that are that are discrete from [TS]

  one another but I don't have a system of [TS]

  beliefs that will put me up on [TS]

  somebody's boots and the other thing is [TS]

  that in that situation fully half of my [TS]

  brain is thinking while getting kicked [TS]

  off this train at this tiny little [TS]

  village in Slovakia is going to be a [TS]

  real adventure book and so I'm like [TS]

  gathering my bags with one eye out of [TS]

  the train already like let's get kicked [TS]

  off this train let's find out what [TS]

  happens next what happens next is often [TS]

  that you sleep outside of a train [TS]

  station until the morning and deal with [TS]

  some functionary and get on a new train [TS]

  but that always seems to me more or [TS]

  potentially more interesting or at least [TS]

  as interesting as standing your ground [TS]

  fighting to stay on this train I don't [TS]

  care about this train I don't want to [TS]

  stay on this train necessarily but my my [TS]

  sister is one of those people who if you [TS]

  say you have to get off this train her [TS]

  first instinct is no i don't [TS]

  and that isn't my first instinct [TS]

  my first instinct is to say why oh I do [TS]

  oh well let's make the best of it [TS]

  mhm and that's you know and those people [TS]

  whose first thing to say no i don't [TS]

  well you have to go off the straightness [TS]

  no i don't like those people are [TS]

  incredibly frustrating and a lot of ways [TS]

  of dealing with them in the world [TS]

  she's really closer like somebody in the [TS]

  CIA or or like interrogating somebody [TS]

  well first you got to break them down [TS]

  and then you got to show them a way out [TS]

  I think that's the basis you know about [TS]

  that i mean she and a lot of people a [TS]

  lot of people that I come up against in [TS]

  the world who have tremendous power who [TS]

  you find that that's how they operate [TS]

  that they're just like they they they [TS]

  are not trying to in those moments there [TS]

  just like here's what's going to happen [TS]

  I'm gonna beat you and then I'm gonna [TS]

  make then I'm gonna make you feel good [TS]

  about it but first i have to be first [TS]

  have to own you and beat you and then [TS]

  i'm gonna i'm gonna give you a gonna [TS]

  give you a pass a minute i'm gonna make [TS]

  you fall in love with me at the end [TS]

  stockholm syndrome yeah and for me like [TS]

  meeting other people is never [TS]

  interesting to me [TS]

  what's interesting to me is being right [TS]

  and if the other person is truly right [TS]

  which is so infrequently the case but if [TS]

  they are truly right there nothing gives [TS]

  me greater happiness than to admit that [TS]

  you want to adopt their world the [TS]

  encounter encounter it so infrequently [TS]

  it's very rare i think I'm maybe this [TS]

  show can be a platform for you John [TS]

  maybe our program could be a way for you [TS]

  to meet some people who know who don't [TS]

  know they want to be beaten into [TS]

  emotional logical outcomes yet this [TS]

  could this could be a chance maybe you [TS]

  could maybe you could visit with people [TS]

  maybe some people could text you and you [TS]

  can just do a try on I like to meet [TS]

  people who are right [TS]

  it's so rare yeah it's just it's more of [TS]

  a challenge for you right you want to be [TS]

  you know what you want something on it [TS]

  you don't have to get somebody's [TS]

  punching above their weight right you [TS]

  want somebody who you could you can [TS]

  really really frustrate late into the [TS]

  name [TS]

  well I want somebody who want you want [TS]

  to know why they're being frustrated [TS]

  here's the thing I like people who are [TS]

  right and then I like to show them the [TS]

  other the up the other ways and went [TS]

  into this meeting should be in the CIA a [TS]

  metal is awaited about that for so long [TS]

  I really wanted to be in the CIA and it [TS]

  was only later when I realized that that [TS]

  ninety-nine percent of the people in the [TS]

  CIA you could just as easily be working [TS]

  at verizon for how interesting that [TS]

  there were kids you know like it it's [TS]

  dull work the fact that the you know the [TS]

  fact that the Intel that they're [TS]

  processing is supposedly secret [TS]

  mhm doesn't make it any less just that [TS]

  they're sorting they're sorting through [TS]

  boxes I've been shaped by that for [TS]

  whatever 10 11 years now because I [TS]

  remember after on 911 a talk to hear [TS]

  that phrase HUMINT you know human [TS]

  intelligence and and they're essentially [TS]

  saying it's not any we don't really have [TS]

  a problem of not having data it's just [TS]

  we've got so much data that it's [TS]

  difficult to find a pattern or you know [TS]

  an outlier that would be useful [TS]

  write this you can do much more to track [TS]

  down well I mean if you have more data [TS]

  than you have resources to filter and [TS]

  act upon it [TS]

  like that's a whole different kind of [TS]

  problems your old problems don't go away [TS]

  once you've got all that data you still [TS]

  got it filed the paperwork and you still [TS]

  got a torture the guy in the trailer or [TS]

  whatever but right now you've also gotta [TS]

  go through all of these thousands of [TS]

  pages of people speaking in Arabic you [TS]

  know where or whatever [TS]

  well and just hoping to find that one [TS]

  that one communication where somebody [TS]

  says let's go blow up that thing who and [TS]

  know what that never happens you know I [TS]

  think I think of the premise of the CIA [TS]

  is is like the like the same premise [TS]

  that so many conspiracy theorists have [TS]

  which is that there's somebody on top [TS]

  that has a master plan who the CIA was [TS]

  built to combat the Soviets [TS]

  anime about the cold war isn't there you [TS]

  there was somebody on top there was a [TS]

  master plan but there's no master plan [TS]

  anymore and it's like groups of four and [TS]

  five guys who mostly mostly are [TS]

  incompetent the CIA is an anachronism I [TS]

  don't I i find very little about that [TS]

  organization to respect anymore i think [TS]

  this is I'm i used to have tremendous [TS]

  respect for them to me like we're in [TS]

  central america well all that tremendous [TS]

  work they did in chile and Angola and [TS]

  cola yeah for soccer stadiums that are [TS]

  working on top of their game right up [TS]

  there just the guys you find out some [TS]

  some texts and mobile phone numbers of [TS]

  people in the CIA they might they might [TS]

  be really into it i am this is what I [TS]

  find so concerning about the whole TSA [TS]

  airport deal doesn't appreciate it talk [TS]

  about this but I mean there's something [TS]

  there's something emblematic of what's [TS]

  wrong with so many things when you go [TS]

  through there and you know there's [TS]

  obviously is completely as people say [TS]

  security theater you know it really it's [TS]

  like going to a play it's just that the [TS]

  actors are all like barely high school [TS]

  graduates right and the script is it's [TS]

  like it's like going to an improv play [TS]

  where the script is it where it's really [TS]

  like let's get two words from the [TS]

  audience [TS]

  ok first word you're in charge [TS]

  second word a your charge know like [TS]

  there's no script there's just there's [TS]

  just these high school graduate high [TS]

  school dropout you know it's it's it's [TS]

  it's just it's like it's like tissue [TS]

  paper on top of tissue paper the entire [TS]

  thing is farcical down to the fact that [TS]

  somebody noted the other day a friend of [TS]

  mine mentioned that you know that they [TS]

  shouldn't even have uniforms they're [TS]

  bureaucrats the people who are searching [TS]

  you the people who went through whatever [TS]

  you know a couple weeks of training to [TS]

  have that job god bless I'm glad they [TS]

  got a job but then they're not even [TS]

  there not police officers they're [TS]

  bureaucrats they don't you know whatever [TS]

  whatever you know ability they have to [TS]

  do stuff to you is by making a call [TS]

  there basically they're basically like [TS]

  security guards and their of uniformed [TS]

  security guards to they do I mean you [TS]

  could buy a security guard uniform which [TS]

  I mentioned you probably already have a [TS]

  couple but well I don't get into it [TS]

  again the armory problem let's see the [TS]

  uniforms i have I could I could [TS]

  masquerade as an Air Force colonel [TS]

  okay here's the thing oh I wanna hear [TS]

  this but here i want one thought is like [TS]

  of all you distill all this down take [TS]

  away everything [TS]

  tick tick away take away the the [TS]

  silliness of trying to chase around a [TS]

  shoe bomber so now we can take our shoes [TS]

  off the setting all that stuff like [TS]

  setting aside the lady who has to take [TS]

  off her colostomy bag setting aside like [TS]

  yelling at the the old Indian lady who's [TS]

  got the the water for her pills sending [TS]

  all of that aside all you have to do is [TS]

  see one thing happen to understand the [TS]

  problem which is the special line for [TS]

  people who work at the airport and so a [TS]

  janitor walks by with a giant giant [TS]

  garbage can [TS]

  waves and walks through that's all you [TS]

  need to know that is all you need to [TS]

  know about the entire thing is like [TS]

  there's Gus who's making nine dollars in [TS]

  forty cents an hour walking by with [TS]

  basically what probably like a probably [TS]

  like a 10 now be more intense probably a [TS]

  hundred gallon like a giant you mean [TS]

  those huge things for trash [TS]

  yeah you're looking way to understand [TS]

  why you're taking off my shoes because [TS]

  you think i have one ounce of explosives [TS]

  in my shoe and there's a guy's going [TS]

  through that could have blue boy in [TS]

  there like you've got to be kidding me [TS]

  but that's all you need to know well [TS]

  general i want brought a box cutter [TS]

  accidentally brought a box cutter on a [TS]

  plane and discovered it only when she [TS]

  opened up her laptop casing I don't know [TS]

  why my mom carries a box cutter she [TS]

  might be a sleeper cell but she didn't [TS]

  realize it until she opened it she [TS]

  completely flipped the switch post-911 [TS]

  app so this is like very soon after 911 [TS]

  when when you know when there was all [TS]

  just a complete craziness and down but [TS]

  you know I I mean come on [TS]

  like I had an unbroken stretch like [TS]

  three years where I never set off the [TS]

  beep and then one time I forgot to take [TS]

  a pen out of my pocket and they touch my [TS]

  nads [TS]

  no I got to grab and I got the overall [TS]

  anymore Colin addresses my dad's well [TS]

  that's you know I'm sorry I'm sorry hit [TS]

  that it's sad but it goes on and then [TS]

  keep talking to you it's real creepy [TS]

  it's like one of those apologetic rapist [TS]

  they just as they always say generals [TS]

  are always fighting the last war all [TS]

  brought the problem World War [TS]

  on its imagino line problem yeah imagine [TS]

  it was bad as I thought [TS]

  imagine how long is pretty bad right it [TS]

  was pretty bad it was they spend a lot [TS]

  of money it was very very costly [TS]

  yeah but it was like putting up a really [TS]

  really nice chain link fence with a lot [TS]

  of gates right well I was like putting [TS]

  up a really really nice really like [TS]

  concrete wall between you and your [TS]

  next-door neighbor but then not putting [TS]

  up not continuing the wall around your [TS]

  property [TS]

  it's like doing it but justice I just [TS]

  the side of your house that faces the [TS]

  street [TS]

  yeah just ended at the lot line and so [TS]

  your neighbor just walked around and no [TS]

  no it was a mistake to lock around the [TS]

  right side and up and then came up from [TS]

  behind or like all the guns were pointed [TS]

  in one direction it's the at the thing [TS]

  is if the terrorists want to hurt [TS]

  Americans they're not going to do it on [TS]

  an airplane again there's so many other [TS]

  ways you could do is the problem and [TS]

  this is the problem i mean you can go in [TS]

  you know what I gets a John I'll take a [TS]

  couple things I was wrong about and i [TS]

  thought i was a real future at the [TS]

  company futurist I thought he had this [TS]

  right [TS]

  sorry i was going to say Sloan [TS]

  sorry i was going to say Sloan [TS]

  take a minute here I thought buffets and [TS]

  salad bars would go away i cannot [TS]

  believe we still have buffets and salad [TS]

  bars i thought by facing salad bars were [TS]

  pretty bad idea for you could just go by [TS]

  with an aerosol spray anthrax on setting [TS]

  aside that you're gonna frequently find [TS]

  grubs and screws in the salad that's [TS]

  just happened that's the thing i'm just [TS]

  going to happen because that's that's [TS]

  you know careless whatever you should [TS]

  find grubs in the salad that just [TS]

  happens that's made drug scrubs and [TS]

  screws your fine machine parts in your [TS]

  food show you how i used to work at a [TS]

  pizza parlor and we found little [TS]

  caterpillars in the alternative capital [TS]

  letters all the time also [TS]

  so here's the thing is you go up there [TS]

  and you see you go somewhere like in [TS]

  Tallahassee god bless it [TS]

  chinese buffet right home now no he's [TS]

  not backing down he's healthy [TS]

  well all the presents LOL boy you want [TS]

  to talk about the difficulty of [TS]

  economics and culture all the Chinese [TS]

  food restaurant eventually had to become [TS]

  buffets it was the only way they could [TS]

  beat six dollars you come in boom all [TS]

  you want snuggles you can eat [TS]

  yeah mm you're saying that had to go [TS]

  away but it didn't show me what you [TS]

  remember the anthrax remember that [TS]

  people are afraid to open their mail [TS]

  okay yeah and like a like Johnny type [TS]

  he's can walk in there like stick his [TS]

  hands into the tater tots anytime he [TS]

  wants and really buddy diabetes [TS]

  was the other thing you were wrong about [TS]

  [Music] [TS]