Roderick on the Line

Ep. 22: "My Own Dungeon Master"


  hello hi John how are you hi Merlin I'm [TS]

  fine except that my bluetooth keyboard [TS]

  is dead for some reason probably out of [TS]

  batteries [TS]

  who and you know I was my iphone has [TS]

  decided now that it has this new text [TS]

  feature this I message that's different [TS]

  from texting some somehow with Lou [TS]

  instead of green right but if it can't [TS]

  if it can't send its I message over [TS]

  whatever proprietary airwaves it uses [TS]

  then it just sits there like a dumb lump [TS]

  like I have a have a plastic brick in my [TS]

  hand so I was trying to communicate with [TS]

  you [TS]

  yeah but my keyboard was down and my [TS]

  phone was I messaging in incompetently [TS]

  so it's very frustrating for a memorable [TS]

  man it's hard for verbal man not to have [TS]

  anything to type one God you know and [TS]

  that so i was i got on skype and I saw [TS]

  down at the bottom is trying to like [TS]

  figure out how I could send send you a [TS]

  skype message and i saw a little smiley [TS]

  face down at the bottom of the message [TS]

  area and I clicked on it and it was all [TS]

  those emoticons the little the little [TS]

  smiley face with a halo and smiley face [TS]

  with the eyeballs the googly eyes and [TS]

  little smiley face with the devil horns [TS]

  and I was like yeah send him some [TS]

  smileys and he'll know that I'm he'll [TS]

  know that I'm here so i clicked on all [TS]

  these smileys and and without being able [TS]

  to push return [TS]

  uh I couldn't send it could even send a [TS]

  smiley see if I can do that i send you [TS]

  some smiley musical Ali and I see a [TS]

  problem right right so I just thought [TS]

  they were just all these smiley emoticon [TS]

  things where we're piling up down in the [TS]

  bottom but I couldn't send them it was [TS]

  uh [TS]

  I felt I felt like I felt like the the [TS]

  protagonist of metallica's song I wasn't [TS]

  gonna say it [TS]

  I wasn't going to say it but but [TS]

  darkness imprisoning me all I see [TS]

  absolutely yeah I cannot have got skype [TS]

  i cannot i cannot smile [TS]

  oh my gosh John were just couple of [TS]

  seconds and more I have so much to ask [TS]

  you [TS]

  yeah um well first of all gift of the [TS]

  magi as i was just connecting with you [TS]

  and I don't want to talk about computers [TS]

  but I realized that my mouse is in the [TS]

  same sad state is your keyboard its have [TS]

  a very visit teen mouse it's actually [TS]

  from Byzantium all byzantine mouse hole [TS]

  the capital they are all so complicated [TS]

  you have such as such great little [TS]

  headdresses I don't know if it's [TS]

  byzantine rococo baroque or just really [TS]

  fucked up looking but yeah as in the [TS]

  battery things blinking red yeah so we [TS]

  almost like that Richard Pryor gene [TS]

  wilder thing you know its Silver Streak [TS]

  who know know the one where trade goes [TS]

  out of control it crashes through a [TS]

  train station [TS]

  no there's one forget what the call is [TS]

  called wackadoodle or I die job or [TS]

  something [TS]

  we're not home in jail at that guy [TS]

  that's my favorite gene wilder movie [TS]

  deals one of my special words I'm trying [TS]

  I'm trying to not use it too much my [TS]

  friend John another John nativity John [TS]

  Gruber he likes your cockamamie anybody [TS]

  keeps his powder dry it's one of those [TS]

  words it's so special you have little [TS]

  doubt when he needs it [TS]

  another one I got from John's dingus i [TS]

  love that you know you think is the last [TS]

  episode so I can using this one even [TS]

  though I are getting dong is a good is a [TS]

  good substitute for dingus your you want [TS]

  to call somebody ding-dong you when you [TS]

  struggle sometimes to figure out exactly [TS]

  how to frame someone sometimes you'll [TS]

  struggle and pause for a minute and [TS]

  you'll end up on dingdong dingdong yeah [TS]

  although i've heard recently from from [TS]

  close friends that I have my go to work [TS]

  now is horseshit everything is worth [TS]

  shit and you usually say it it's a lot [TS]

  like the Mandarin language on go ping [TS]

  pong here but there's a certain tonality [TS]

  to the way you say our shit again [TS]

  sometimes you can cause as you finally [TS]

  mentally scan the hard disk is your [TS]

  brain for the proper response and USA [TS]

  horseshit [TS]

  ok that's certain [TS]

  it has a certain cello like quality for [TS]

  shit because i believe hand my friend [TS]

  let me play cello the other night i [TS]

  should write this down we're pretty deep [TS]

  in the stock already um I want to get [TS]

  back to motor cars because i know that [TS]

  something you think about I want to come [TS]

  back to metallica um yeah I was at her [TS]

  house pretty late and I've been drinking [TS]

  and I know that's a great time to put a [TS]

  cello and somebody that I said you're [TS]

  everything she was so nice about it and [TS]

  I I sit here now everyday didn't have a [TS]

  clarinet brick [TS]

  no I mean I would never ask to touch [TS]

  somebody's clarinet it's like kissing [TS]

  somebody's bird that's right that's [TS]

  right [TS]

  french kissing somebody's cockatiel who [TS]

  gusting i know i'm sitting here now and [TS]

  you know me you know I drink but I'm not [TS]

  that guy you know i hope i'm not i'm not [TS]

  i definitely don't black out and like [TS]

  like the from wonderful Cosby in the [TS]

  cosby himself remember i'm talking about [TS]

  cocaine how it intensifies your [TS]

  personality and this is what if you [TS]

  would if you're an asshole you know now [TS]

  with me on the kind of person that would [TS]

  love to play a cello when by playing [TS]

  cello I mean try not to break it while [TS]

  I'm playing I guess the cockpit sacado [TS]

  and I sit here every day and I know [TS]

  chels are expensive and and you know so [TS]

  I asked your fuckin you know a firetruck [TS]

  most well-liked you're not guitar guy [TS]

  right even though you do you'll never [TS]

  get our guy at a party right now [TS]

  sometimes I'll get roped into being [TS]

  guitar gonna shower I've seen be shy at [TS]

  parties [TS]

  yeah well some people come up to me and [TS]

  made and they start you know they start [TS]

  leaving a little trail of breadcrumbs [TS]

  and I'm like oh yeah i'll talk to you [TS]

  about that and then pretty soon [TS]

  they've led me down some primrose path [TS]

  and i'm standing in front of a house [TS]

  made of gingerbread who and I'm talking [TS]

  about guitars eating right out of party [TS]

  i'll see how am I talking about guitars [TS]

  I'm thinking I we're at a party once i [TS]

  think was at the end of a teacher and [TS]

  you're very you're very tired and I [TS]

  think he took a nap once at a party that [TS]

  we went together because you're not a [TS]

  party guy [TS]

  yeah I'll take a nap apartment fuck yeah [TS]

  without san mateo where they make a lot [TS]

  of dolls we're at a party and I think [TS]

  you excuse yourself and went and took a [TS]

  nap in someone's room maybe on some cuts [TS]

  if ya [TS]

  yeah i'm still five years old so it [TS]

  doesn't the attack something plaque that [TS]

  says John Roderick slept on a coat here [TS]

  what about you know I I used to be and [TS]

  obviously as we've seen from the [TS]

  impromptu skype jams i still can be [TS]

  guitar guy i truly try not to be but [TS]

  like nobody nobody likes get playing [TS]

  guitar in a party guy [TS]

  oh you're talking about play guitar and [TS]

  a party God know it's one thing it's one [TS]

  thing to talk about entries it's another [TS]

  thing to like go [TS]

  Oh in my case like even today I'm I'm [TS]

  pretty gregarious i like talking to [TS]

  people for a while but like it when they [TS]

  start talking about the intricacies and [TS]

  this is totally have you know what's the [TS]

  word we were just don't do what you say [TS]

  hypocritical order cripple you want to [TS]

  refer to my friend show hypercritical is [TS]

  totally hypocritical of me but I will [TS]

  sit there and suddenly people you know [TS]

  there's like pro drinkers and amateur [TS]

  drinkers any Y and the amateur drinkers [TS]

  will not sure you know what is correct [TS]

  and so they start did the amateur [TS]

  drinkers you know and these are people [TS]

  who don't get out much they know [TS]

  sure they get wasted on st. Patrick's is [TS]

  enormously haha go to my oh and there's [TS]

  the shittiest drunk drivers in the world [TS]

  that's the problem and so this did not [TS]

  happen at this party because it was [TS]

  great it's a bunch of people you know [TS]

  you have people you know it's a nice [TS]

  group we're sitting there and you know [TS]

  watching watching videos from the who [TS]

  and stuff on TV and you're like let me [TS]

  let me get that cello in my hand luke [TS]

  and john let me check out some jello to [TS]

  holy shit i can't believe how much I was [TS]

  that guy that night i was also let's [TS]

  watch a quick one on the stones rock n [TS]

  roll circus guy that night [TS]

  oh that's great i've been going out with [TS]

  you right well a quick one is you know [TS]

  that's the that's the key to watching [TS]

  the rock and roll circus right that's [TS]

  how you understand why no one ever saw [TS]

  the rock and roll circus before just a [TS]

  few years ago can't talk about the [TS]

  rolling stones were so embarrassed that [TS]

  the who kicked their ass all around the [TS]

  block that they're like yeah we should [TS]

  put the kibosh mahal kick their ass [TS]

  I mean it's embarrassing when you know [TS]

  that still god fucking dammit you know [TS]

  the story behind that is what's his head [TS]

  was it without accessories and Lindsay [TS]

  hog or whatever the game it was one of [TS]

  the right side answered didn't 333 [TS]

  lindseyindia guy who directed let it be [TS]

  anyway he um [TS]

  and now i get all these guys confuse you [TS]

  also got it was not Peter Schaffer is a [TS]

  reckless Peter dear Alan is the guy that [TS]

  was married to Liza Minnelli and who's [TS]

  the guy who stole the rolling stones as [TS]

  money they don't have more peterburg [TS]

  Alex Alex Goldsmith was his name doesn't [TS]

  matter [TS]

  full golden Goldwater have a little bit [TS]

  of my kids cold so i'm trying not to [TS]

  cough on [TS]

  yeah so anyway [TS]

  well oh my god I can't believe how deep [TS]

  in the stack we are here's the thing you [TS]

  know I have a cello I have a channel [TS]

  that I want to come back to the cello I [TS]

  ok well here's the thing you want to do [TS]

  and i'll send you whatever tomorrow [TS]

  yeah fax it to me well as so this is a [TS]

  thing was recorded in like something [TS]

  like 1968 wire around circus it was [TS]

  before so quick one was like 66 67 so [TS]

  much that and they the the stones had [TS]

  this TV show you know what no one cares [TS]

  all I'm saying is that you don't look it [TS]

  up well but it's worth you know watching [TS]

  because apparently stones put this thing [TS]

  together this extravaganza for TV I [TS]

  guess probably in England and do you [TS]

  know the story about the taping like how [TS]

  was the taping what really poorly and it [TS]

  ran really really late [TS]

  you can see that in the footage you can [TS]

  see everyone there is just like uh so [TS]

  the universe [TS]

  this isn't as fun as we thought it was [TS]

  gonna be can you say like having a [TS]

  wonderful is ping-pong having to work in [TS]

  clown makeup is probably super fun for [TS]

  about 30 seconds but let's talk to the [TS]

  guys in jackass fucking 5a know the guy [TS]

  with the chainsaw the Juggalos the [TS]

  Juggalos yeah well I mean I I feel like [TS]

  like the Rolling Stones with the [TS]

  jugglers the sixties are you know what I [TS]

  would love to talk about the rolling [TS]

  stones and this is where I differ from a [TS]

  lot of people that I'm not the easiest [TS]

  Rolling Stones fan that's amazing to [TS]

  hear cannot be true who apparently if I [TS]

  got this right i think it was 5am when [TS]

  who went on [TS]

  oh my god and they had sexualizes that [TS]

  performance in a whole different way [TS]

  well it i don't even know it's like [TS]

  there's this few videos that I make a [TS]

  point of watching at least once a month [TS]

  and and you know I really like music if [TS]

  there's any even if i don't need to have [TS]

  my understanding of the importance of [TS]

  rock'n'roll of rock'n'roll renewed on a [TS]

  regular basis watching that though no no [TS]

  we'll just makes us stronger [TS]

  it's like it's like job it's like it but [TS]

  here's the thing about the who I mean [TS]

  that was that whole experience was [TS]

  before cocaine was invented [TS]

  it's an inflection point for the band [TS]

  because it's a beginning he's got the [TS]

  test the best thing is before his next [TS]

  it's after the mod thing and it's right [TS]

  at the point when they became like the [TS]

  really really really good band and the [TS]

  performance is shattering it's sister [TS]

  Mary it's after the mod thing but i [TS]

  seriously doubt that it is after the [TS]

  amphetamine thing focus Pete looks [TS]

  pretty sweaty they are very and feta [TS]

  mean and that is a you can't socks [TS]

  though he's just he's just he's got [TS]

  stupid hair casino here's the things [TS]

  so-and-so still has that stupid-ass [TS]

  haircut with bangs right well stupid ass [TS]

  on anyone but Entwistle on it well this [TS]

  is the name is a snappy dresser [TS]

  he looks like an aircraft carrier he is [TS]

  even he looks like an aircraft carrier [TS]

  in a bowl haircut something could land [TS]

  on him a little miss Abby it is amazing [TS]

  you could land a jet aircraft on him and [TS]

  he would just be like to do but i don't [TS]

  have a huge problem [TS]

  bass players in general protecting a [TS]

  different fucking movie when you watch [TS]

  what he's doing you watch his finger his [TS]

  right hand [TS]

  I don't know what the fuck that guys [TS]

  doing invented by bass playing okay [TS]

  even more so than like the huh you look [TS]

  at modern rock n roll bass playing you [TS]

  mean yeah modern rock and roll base [TS]

  plate right there was talk about their [TS]

  invented the base plate but she plays [TS]

  banjo on smile i just learned that two [TS]

  days ago [TS]

  yeah she's all over they get that yet [TS]

  smile sessions i do have it that the new [TS]

  one [TS]

  you know we played sloop John B just the [TS]

  other day appear very good roots huh [TS]

  that's pretty good song ass and I I've [TS]

  been covering the rolling stones on the [TS]

  ukulele so just bring it all back [TS]

  already take up and eat up all of his [TS]

  core give a sense of that hmmm in the [TS]

  line [TS]

  yeah then he took any ate up all of my [TS]

  corn you know a lot of mix lyrics to not [TS]

  bear close inspection no no no no first [TS]

  of all were talking about were talking [TS]

  about the Beach Boys and second it's a [TS]

  folk song so jumpy has been around [TS]

  forever always future talking about it [TS]

  was like the first mate he got drunk [TS]

  something in the captain's trunk and [TS]

  then he took me up on my corn i'm pretty [TS]

  sure got drunk and did something the [TS]

  captain Strunk you're starting to get [TS]

  with the songs about ok and and [TS]

  so-and-so that performance is something [TS]

  so just to go back a little bit you know [TS]

  you know it starts you start you leave [TS]

  the restaurant you go to a bar you leave [TS]

  the bar and this woman my friend jesse [TS]

  was nice enough to have us into her home [TS]

  and back to this and so here's the thing [TS]

  i'm just realizing this is a moment of [TS]

  Revelation I think what you call it in [TS]

  group called a moment of clarity is that [TS]

  eminem song that's not something I ever [TS]

  ever said but yes get mental clarity [TS]

  that's the face that's what they say and [TS]

  asked is it true that let you pee a nest [TS]

  I don't even after they have a bit only [TS]

  go to convention centers that have a [TS]

  bathroom [TS]

  I've never done that excuse me I have a [TS]

  little bit of a frog in my throat I've [TS]

  never done ask but I think my dad in the [TS]

  seventies we did it we're back when it [TS]

  was really the thing like all the you [TS]

  would go there it's like a hip couples [TS]

  retreat or so you had to do it and it's [TS]

  Werner Herzog or something that's right [TS]

  that the guy was the Admiral donitz yeah [TS]

  and and my dad went and you know I think [TS]

  that's where my dad and his little his [TS]

  little clique of commie retinue but yeah [TS]

  like Jewish psychologists in Alaska over [TS]

  his head before fleece dad turtlenecks [TS]

  they had allotted this gang war a lot of [TS]

  turtlenecks and they actually practiced [TS]

  you know some of the principles of a [TS]

  stride to practice on me but as you know [TS]

  i'm i am impervious and completely [TS]

  bulletproof when people try to practice [TS]

  principles on me i have i have my my [TS]

  principal shield goes if I was gonna [TS]

  have your player care you have a very [TS]

  very complicated multi-page player [TS]

  character sheet but i'm guessing [TS]

  somewhere under your 7 charisma [TS]

  somewhere like it [TS]

  ok i kid i would say you have probably a [TS]

  17 Constitution you have you probably [TS]

  have like a 16 or 18 charisma [TS]

  that's nice view dexterity is very low [TS]

  that I've seen that you have trouble [TS]

  playing the guitar it's true i'm saying [TS]

  somewhere on their would have to have a [TS]

  new field you have to contact gary gygax [TS]

  I think past but there would be a field [TS]

  on there called in previous test em in [TS]

  and principles in general so here's what [TS]

  I'm saying John when you find your [TS]

  business to ask in my bag of holding [TS]

  holding food or surgical askew [TS]

  we've talked about this but there's no [TS]

  way there's no way to out a lot of nerdy [TS]

  men more than making a slightly louder [TS]

  dnd reference at a party and seeing it [TS]

  turns around [TS]

  yeah yep it's quite easy to do and [TS]

  that's why that's where we'll Wheaton's [TS]

  wil wheaton walks around with that [TS]

  t-shirt on with the 20-sided die on it [TS]

  and I think people come people like [TS]

  attacking on buses and that's gotta be a [TS]

  pussy magnet 20-sided die down [TS]

  tell me about it USA vs inhalers and [TS]

  play D&D but the thing is John only true [TS]

  who know what you know here's the thing [TS]

  i played the shit out of the Indians [TS]

  what I did [TS]

  yeah here's the thing about DMV I'm a [TS]

  lot of the people that I talk to that [TS]

  you know the play D&D what got them out [TS]

  of playing D&D was not that they are was [TS]

  not that they grew out of a manner that [TS]

  it was that they felt that they felt [TS]

  like it was a child's game but more at [TS]

  least in my case more that I let my own [TS]

  imagination in terms of going on [TS]

  adventures with elves and finding [TS]

  treasure my own imagination was so much [TS]

  more vivid than any dungeon master in my [TS]

  town could conjure you become a ninja [TS]

  master on some level I became my own [TS]

  dungeon master who when you become your [TS]

  own dungeon master you are no longer [TS]

  playing dnd you don't have to hide the [TS]

  throws my screen anymore right [TS]

  you're just out eventually what it ended [TS]

  up was that I was out in the forest [TS]

  playing swords and sorcery with [TS]

  imaginary friends imaginary dragons with [TS]

  the people there there were not going [TS]

  solo [TS]

  selsella mission i made a sword out of [TS]

  the out of this [TS]

  the stick of wood that was holding up a [TS]

  political sign that said like collect [TS]

  Tom think mayor of Anchorage or whatever [TS]

  and i took the sign and I made a sort [TS]

  out of it and then I was off i didn't [TS]

  need any didn't you don't need no [TS]

  stinkin books I didn't know player [TS]

  player characters I knew what my [TS]

  Constitution was I think people are [TS]

  attracted to dnd i did some of that too [TS]

  and by the way to sounds to me like [TS]

  you're exactly the kind of person all [TS]

  those hysterical articles were about the [TS]

  kind people like there's no way that [TS]

  this is the sewers teenagers in our [TS]

  inner sewers looking at madis yeah [TS]

  if advantage it had decent sewers I [TS]

  would have been down in there [TS]

  alright i would have been fighting a pop [TS]

  goblins spend a lot of my life trying to [TS]

  find ways into other things i would love [TS]

  to find a way into a sewer you kidding [TS]

  me [TS]

  here's the thing i think a lot of people [TS]

  get into D&D in retrospect for two [TS]

  reasons [TS]

  there's a lot of reading and it's an [TS]

  easy relatively easy way to be around [TS]

  other people at a time you know and [TS]

  people who you can see is easier it feel [TS]

  cooler than cool as right and there's a [TS]

  lot of reading i was attracted because [TS]

  there's a lot of reading and they were [TS]

  there were books and it was an easy way [TS]

  to be around other people without having [TS]

  to develop like all the social skills [TS]

  necessary [TS]

  well like when you're actually like when [TS]

  you're little and you're in a church [TS]

  group it's easy enough [TS]

  I mean your school like your kind of [TS]

  thrust into the situation with other [TS]

  people and there's a tacit understanding [TS]

  why you're all there and you don't need [TS]

  to explain college right you can all [TS]

  live in the same dorm right here we are [TS]

  are you gonna borrow that pan right [TS]

  that's like pretty easy and when you get [TS]

  older I think that guitar no here's the [TS]

  thing I I it wasn't even that I thought [TS]

  it was so much I thought it was dorky [TS]

  anymore [TS]

  it'sit's that I think at some point in [TS]

  every D&D guy's life it becomes less [TS]

  about dice and bugbears and more about [TS]

  big breasted ladies and corsets [TS]

  hmm you know I think that our campaigns [TS]

  Lynch's yes bitches we make the [TS]

  transition to wenches you're into a [TS]

  different kind of role playing well when [TS]

  you're you start planning campaigns that [TS]

  have involved like a lot more going to a [TS]

  tavern because the club and there may be [TS]

  like a hot chick in the cave but by and [TS]

  large it's going to be some saucy saucy [TS]

  girl behind the counter and I think that [TS]

  that going hot chick grave always has [TS]

  tentacles forearms is the problem at [TS]

  first [TS]

  well not at first no that she lures you [TS]

  in its not to the game to call it the [TS]

  call was called to the book wasn't also [TS]

  a game there are so many cthulhu games [TS]

  now I are just steps i just saw game [TS]

  called through flux in the future that's [TS]

  it's it's in the future yeah whoo [TS]

  but for me my problem i guess is that I [TS]

  have spent my whole life trying to find [TS]

  ways to get out of being around other [TS]

  people so maybe that's why I bet you [TS]

  just let your guy died [TS]

  no just like I'm I don't want to be here [TS]

  in the second nap on somebody's members [TS]

  only jacket with you some kids [TS]

  yeah can I could take a nap i'm gonna go [TS]

  play in your yard can I go act this out [TS]

  in your yard signs and sitting there [TS]

  it's two in the morning and i'm making [TS]

  people watch videos on the appletv and [TS]

  then at some point I said the jesse is [TS]

  invited to the party [TS]

  oh my god i don't know I I can't even [TS]

  believe I did this I asked her if I [TS]

  could like fiddle with her cello right [TS]

  oh and she was so nice that you do the [TS]

  thing that you do at parties where you [TS]

  eat do you explain to everyone in a kind [TS]

  of loud voice why that they might be [TS]

  giants or that one of the great american [TS]

  rock bands not at this party [TS]

  let's take another I've seen you do that [TS]

  could've been done that would have been [TS]

  the move and would've been around if I [TS]

  hadn't left it would have been around [TS]

  three-thirty i will talk about the move [TS]

  that will eventually talk about the move [TS]

  but she was nice and she let me she said [TS]

  no fucking way and not in her words [TS]

  she's very polite but you fucking want [TS]

  to send a fucking where you touching my [TS]

  elbow [TS]

  you know that's 1,800 bucks for about [TS]

  four a good bow environmental horsehair [TS]

  the bow that I'm gonna send you as an [TS]

  1,800 bucks you can really send me a [TS]

  cello you want to tell oh I'd be so into [TS]

  that if they yeah [TS]

  whoa whoa who is over is over my cello [TS]

  area you're straight you're struggling [TS]

  with deciding whether your cello was [TS]

  actually within arm's reach of your desk [TS]

  [Music] [TS]

  hey I'm open to anything that this is a [TS]

  this is my terrible internation because [TS]

  I don't play friendless instrument [TS]

  sounds like it sounds like a hill giant [TS]

  deciding whether has food poisoning [TS]

  maybe a golem so she gave it to me and I [TS]

  was like it is really out flat public [TS]

  saw sorry and and she actually showed me [TS]

  how to hold possible uncle ron paul and [TS]

  i actually I played it right like almost [TS]

  exactly once and then I put it down [TS]

  because I realized I was being that guy [TS]

  I actually at a cute girls house I i [TS]

  asked her to teach me talk at two in the [TS]

  morning on her very special cello [TS]

  uh-huh has never been more of an act III [TS]

  don't know who it is you put your beard [TS]

  or her asshole who the entry entry [TS]

  anyway that's enough of that i just DNT [TS]

  I you know the funny thing is that with [TS]

  the dnd than I once i was offered I [TS]

  couldn't get back into it you know but i [TS]

  think the girl thing kind of has an [TS]

  effect and I don't want to sound unkind [TS]

  but I think when you talk about the [TS]

  comic-con and stuff i think that that [TS]

  saucy wench thing like if you if you [TS]

  missed your job [TS]

  what's called you know the guy ericsson [TS]

  is an ericsson period you know which is [TS]

  that the dnd period and if you don't [TS]

  make it out of there is a struggle at [TS]

  every level according ericsson right [TS]

  here's the here's the thing that I never [TS]

  understood who is is the presence and [TS]

  this is this has been hammered home to [TS]

  me over the last year to as I have [TS]

  become more and more engaged with nerd [TS]

  culture and more sort of drawn into the [TS]

  nerd nexus is the undeniable presence of [TS]

  nerd studs and nerd like hot girls [TS]

  oh yes yes yes yes even in high school I [TS]

  remember I was taking this some kind of [TS]

  physics class and the kid that shared my [TS]

  my lab partner that's what I'm trying to [TS]

  find my lab partner was this guy who was [TS]

  the entire semester that we have this [TS]

  class together he was working on forging [TS]

  the blade of a broadsword that he was [TS]

  building for himself [TS]

  and every day we would sit and he would [TS]

  he would explain like all the different [TS]

  to all the times he was gonna fold the [TS]

  steel over and how it was you know he [TS]

  was he was going to make this broad [TS]

  sword but it was going to incorporate [TS]

  some Japanese sword technology into it [TS]

  and it never occurred to him and now i [TS]

  guess it never occurred to me to say [TS]

  wyd like why do you need a broadsword [TS]

  you're 16 or whatever you but he was he [TS]

  was fit this guy was he he was in shape [TS]

  and he was he was smart and he was is [TS]

  reasonably funny but he was a nerd all [TS]

  the way you know what I mean like deep [TS]

  inside this he was he was going to end [TS]

  up being the guy that was walking around [TS]

  the town where he lived with this sword [TS]

  that he built himself like strapped into [TS]

  a scabbard on his back and that was just [TS]

  going to be his identity you know that [TS]

  was his plan [TS]

  well i have seen that guy is unusually [TS]

  wearing a duster i have seen I've seen [TS]

  that guy and very very wide hat not that [TS]

  not that exact guy but about his is a [TS]

  his mate I've seen him in several towns [TS]

  either a duster and a either Duster or [TS]

  there was a guy here in Seattle who had [TS]

  a conan sword and rode a pretty hopped [TS]

  up mountain bike and just rode around [TS]

  town all I mean for years [TS]

  conan conan the barbarian coming like a [TS]

  long like a like a broadsword like a [TS]

  really long like a really long sword [TS]

  strapped to his back and he would ride [TS]

  his bike around he had be that big [TS]

  muscles and that was his that was his [TS]

  identity that was his way of integrating [TS]

  himself into the urban landscape he was [TS]

  you know he woke up one day and he was [TS]

  like I'm the broadsword bicycle guy [TS]

  that's me I'm him and everyone will know [TS]

  me my name will ring out from these [TS]

  skyscrapers but so so anywhere you go to [TS]

  these events and you see these girls [TS]

  where you're like this is a this is a [TS]

  cute girl this is not this is not just a [TS]

  cute girl within the nerd world she's [TS]

  legitimately cute girl and she is a nerd [TS]

  and [TS]

  so so those experiences have thrown have [TS]

  cast doubt on what I had always I would [TS]

  have agreed with you for years that you [TS]

  know that there came a time when you had [TS]

  to choose between fantasy and and [TS]

  fantasy that was a little bit sexier and [TS]

  the sexy fantasy leads you into rock and [TS]

  roll and rock and roll leads you away [TS]

  from swords and sorcery and into actual [TS]

  sex whether this is good but the nerd [TS]

  the nerd people were having this [TS]

  parallel existence where they were [TS]

  actually having sex with each other and [TS]

  some of them just stayed over there [TS]

  hmm this is a this is a big topic but so [TS]

  but the the cute nerd girls like are [TS]

  they like with the guys with the the [TS]

  nerds that are there are they they're [TS]

  mostly kind of fun like a fact-finding [TS]

  mission [TS]

  well interesting that you might find [TS]

  interesting that you ask that because [TS]

  generally I think the super cute nerd [TS]

  girls in my experience at least are [TS]

  getting off on being fetish items i [TS]

  never really see them pair up with [TS]

  others also generally do the nice thing [TS]

  about that I don't see anything wrong [TS]

  with that i mean it's fun but that is [TS]

  nice because you can visit with that it [TS]

  isn't like living in LA and like having [TS]

  to be a fetish item as part of your [TS]

  existence you get to go in and it [TS]

  literally is a costume [TS]

  I think I don't think very many people i [TS]

  don't see many I i cannot i cannot [TS]

  imagine like a normal or as we're [TS]

  calling them now Snorks I cannot imagine [TS]

  a snort girl snort girl going to [TS]

  comic-con and dressing like a nerd [TS]

  puppet as it isn't as a tourist act i [TS]

  think to even be aware of comic-con you [TS]

  have to already be in the nerd family [TS]

  until dressing like a Twi'lek at home to [TS]

  sit around watching reality shows all [TS]

  blue [TS]

  I don't know mm I don't know it is a [TS]

  fully developing why don't i'm not [TS]

  trying to sound cynical about this at [TS]

  all i'm saying is very empowering you [TS]

  know I think for some ladies that comes [TS]

  out is sexy nurse at Halloween or [TS]

  whatever and it's an opportunity to do [TS]

  that second in a safe environment right [TS]

  you will use you and be sexy nurse and [TS]

  and go to like some some bar you know by [TS]

  the college I don't think you can dress [TS]

  like sexy Twilight and go to work at [TS] but i think that it becomes [TS]

  more [TS]

  Nick cosplay sexy nurse at a halloween [TS]

  party is one thing but cosplay is [TS]

  definitely more of a lifestyle lifestyle [TS]

  like that's become much that's become [TS]

  much more acceptable i think to be like [TS]

  a character like you're 10 starts on a [TS]

  bike guy like I don't know I got a lot [TS]

  of questions about that that was years [TS]

  ago that was 20 years ago sort of my god [TS]

  maybe who he wasn't i actually found his [TS]

  lair one time I was walking through of a [TS]

  disused part of town a dusty disused [TS]

  block of of town and there's an old [TS]

  building there and you know how I feel [TS]

  about old buildings and I was [TS]

  investigating it with my eyes and I see [TS]

  one of the ground floor storefronts that [TS]

  would have a hundred years ago in the [TS]

  place where you would get gum balls and [TS]

  milk of magnesia was now closed and and [TS]

  but there were all these like news [TS]

  clippings taped in the window of this of [TS]

  this former storefront and so I walk [TS]

  over and start reading the news [TS]

  clippings and I realized that it is [TS]

  sword on a bike guys house it's his lips [TS]

  where he lives he lives in this old [TS]

  store and he used to be a gunner on a [TS]

  unlike add a frigate he was an eight and [TS]

  navy guy and he peeped he'd been a [TS]

  gunner on one of those a hyper-fast [TS]

  Gatling guns that you see on on little [TS]

  frigates and and destroyers where it's [TS]

  the same kind of gun that they put in [TS]

  the a-10 warthog what's that what's the [TS]

  role of about like that as a defensive [TS]

  roller it's a kind of sneak in kind of [TS]

  without being seen roll call their [TS]

  fast-moving little frigates the [TS]

  technical protect you protect a big ship [TS]

  before do that or going to get there you [TS]

  can you can you can fire on shore you [TS]

  know you get up get up close to shore [TS]

  and support mission role and that they [TS]

  all like Bella they'll have a cruise [TS]

  missiles now so they're they're all 400 [TS]

  miles away and just in chicken shits and [TS]

  cruise missiles into your front door [TS]

  because that you could you know what the [TS]

  new Navy is chicken shit for their [TS]

  cruise missiles and their long-distance [TS]

  if you can't see the guy that you're [TS]

  shooting I don't think you have a right [TS]

  to shoot him but that's just my that's [TS]

  just my philosophy but anyway this guy [TS]

  he had put up his greatest hits up in [TS]

  the window of the shop including a [TS]

  couple of news articles about him [TS]

  getting arrested or getting stopped by [TS]

  the police and detained because when he [TS]

  first arrived on the scene because [TS]

  they're like you can't just ride around [TS]

  with this broad sword and he said it's [TS]

  my constitutional right and it made some [TS]

  little news article and so here was here [TS]

  I saw it I saw where he lived and and [TS]

  got a little bit of his backstory have [TS]

  no idea what ever happened with a guy [TS]

  he's in a storefront and there's [TS]

  newspaper articles in the window about [TS]

  himself right but we're facing the print [TS]

  facing inward or outward facing outward [TS]

  it was it was in that visit the thing it [TS]

  wasn't on a busy street who it was it [TS]

  was a street that for people walk down a [TS]

  day but this was his little like this is [TS]

  me it's almost like he wanted to be [TS]

  found out [TS]

  well it's not i don't think he thought [TS]

  of it as his bat cave in the sense that [TS]

  it was hidden behind underneath his name [TS]

  I'm just saying if i were a guy on a [TS]

  boot shows in as a bike rider to carry a [TS]

  sword around with me I don't want to get [TS]

  up too far ahead of myself but that [TS]

  seems to me as somebody with a certain [TS]

  defensive posture he's not attacking [TS]

  parking meters or codes or something [TS]

  he's just got a sword because you never [TS]

  know right she should be right yes to me [TS]

  you know i don't know a lot about you [TS]

  know military material but it seems to [TS]

  me that that compromises his position [TS]

  heavily if he's got clips about himself [TS]

  in the window [TS]

  well i think that what what you are what [TS]

  your what you are the the template that [TS]

  we have now to talk about crazy people [TS]

  like that is all very get there there's [TS]

  so many conspiracies in the air now that [TS]

  we think every crazy person must be [TS]

  convinced that the government is trying [TS]

  to find him and that that that they're [TS]

  watching him from outer space and black [TS]

  helicopters and Illuminati and blah blah [TS]

  blah but i think twenty years ago crazy [TS]

  people [TS]

  [Music] [TS]

  could be heavily armed they could be [TS]

  very militarized and yet still not have [TS]

  taken a total anti-government stance who [TS]

  still be wanting attention rather than [TS]

  trying to pretend that they don't want [TS]

  attention as a way of getting attention [TS]

  you know just to be like i'm not i'm not [TS]

  wearing this sword because i think that [TS]

  this that the government is out to get [TS]

  me i'm wearing this sword because I'm [TS]

  here to protect damsels from dragons who [TS]

  you know he was a he was an older kind [TS]

  of crazy before crazy became so [TS]

  institutionalized food or so more [TS]

  orthodox raso franchised right well and [TS]

  also you know he probably didn't have [TS]

  the resources that we have today to find [TS]

  out more about about craziness and what [TS]

  might fit into i think a lot of a lot of [TS]

  the old-time Orthodox crazies or were [TS]

  really searchers they were there were [TS]

  people I was looking looking for what [TS]

  the answer was and as the cycling got [TS]

  more rapid they sometimes you know ended [TS]

  up in places where you can put clippings [TS]

  on the window we have one of these guys [TS]

  in Tallahassee I think everybody's got [TS]

  colorful people write these are you know [TS]

  guy who runs into Superman outfit you [TS]

  know you gotta you know the whole [TS]

  webpage about that Peter Pan guy few [TS]

  years ago the guy who just like Peter [TS]

  Pan and acted like he was a kid that was [TS]

  a kind of popular thing is going to [TS]

  Tallahassee he went by King love and he [TS]

  wore what started as a fairly [TS]

  resplendent like fairytale idea of like [TS]

  a kind of ermine looking outfit with a [TS]

  big crown very large garrulous [TS]

  african-american man who when you talked [TS]

  about you tell you about his message of [TS]

  love because he was king love it turned [TS]

  out he was this guy who had been a [TS]

  professor at Florida State and you know [TS]

  you can fill in some of the tail details [TS]

  in between you know scholarship in her [TS]

  month but he here's the thing and this [TS]

  is that I don't make this you know sad [TS]

  but you know a lot of times that starts [TS]

  out as kind of a fun thing for us and [TS]

  then it escalates and it like that guy [TS]

  down and down by the salt and see that [TS]

  that painted painted that giant jesus [TS]

  mountain out in the desert who don't [TS]

  know about that he showed up he shown up [TS]

  by the Salton Sea you know 50 years ago [TS]

  or something like that and he and he [TS]

  looked at this hill [TS]

  it's not a mountain it's a hill [TS]

  and he said this hill is my calling [TS]

  these he started getting old buckets of [TS]

  paint and just painting this hill and he [TS]

  painted it's a pretty big hill he [TS]

  painted the whole thing and covered it [TS]

  with message you know with god is love [TS]

  messages visible for miles around [TS]

  um it's it's it's nice to look at now [TS]

  you drive by and you go there's that who [TS]

  but i can't i can't think that it [TS]

  I you know and frankly the world the [TS]

  ways of the world are mysterious perhaps [TS]

  it has brought some people peace who [TS]

  perhaps had brought some lonely [TS]

  travelers closer to God but i think [TS]

  mostly it was a waste of time in pain [TS]

  look at rock-and-rolling that's that [TS]

  didn't end well [TS]

  right the guy started out with the [TS]

  rainbow wig and he wanted you know you [TS]

  could always see him on TV this is the [TS]

  John 313 guy whatever 316 John's sorry [TS]

  I'm sorry [TS]

  16 um yeah anyway that's a well-known [TS]

  story but that didn't create anything to [TS]

  him [TS]

  well you can read about it but basically [TS]

  he started out with he was going to [TS]

  rainbow wig I think he had some problems [TS]

  and then he he started all those two [TS]

  things hard to I mean one doesn't [TS]

  necessarily fall from the other you can [TS]

  wear rainbow working on a problem [TS]

  well we all have our past some of us [TS]

  choose our mind some of us choose [TS]

  broadswords and some of us choose [TS]

  rainbow wigs [TS]

  there are many paths to John 313 that's [TS]

  right by that you know and he really got [TS]

  into it and he started devoting a lot of [TS]

  his effort to getting into the spots [TS]

  like pine field goals or whatever like [TS]

  Orion you would end up on camera and it [TS]

  became a thing you know when we're going [TS]

  to become a thing where the camera guys [TS]

  were intentionally trying not to join it [TS]

  could be i think it finally became a [TS]

  thing where it's like you know it would [TS]

  be like having paris hilton at your [TS]

  party or something right [TS]

  oh he was a star but then it got into [TS]

  the john three sixteen thing anyway I [TS]

  think it ended up with some kind of a [TS]

  standoff involving guns it didn't it [TS]

  didn't end great i'm just saying that [TS]

  escalation it goes up and up and up [TS]

  now how do you how do you separate that [TS]

  from somebody like Howard Finster like [TS]

  somebody who's like a your you know for [TS]

  that matter what I mean William [TS]

  Burroughs like some people are just sort [TS]

  of curiosity [TS]

  well I think this is the thing about [TS]

  comic-con or or or nerd culture as it [TS]

  has expanded and become a genuine like [TS]

  third way or a genuine of [TS]

  a genuine now accepted and and [TS]

  franchised piece of the cultural pie is [TS]

  that so much of that outsider art is now [TS]

  being embraced by what was formerly [TS]

  outsider culture and it is becoming all [TS]

  very inside daniel johnston daniel [TS]

  johnston right or I mean half of indie [TS]

  rock America there's a lot of indie rock [TS]

  that friday roky erickson I mean there's [TS]

  a lot of these characters that you know [TS]

  with a million and there's on it for me [TS]

  there's always been a big question like [TS]

  it's pretty easy to pretend that you're [TS]

  coupe it's it and then there are being [TS]

  on there are plenty of guys like howard [TS]

  finster who were you know there was no [TS]

  pretending you know he was legitimately [TS]

  a kook but you go to go to you go to [TS]

  nerd events and you can see there there [TS]

  are all kinds of people where you almost [TS]

  feel like they were born a kook [TS]

  there's no there's no question about it [TS]

  but as it becomes more and more of a [TS]

  thing becomes more and more of a culture [TS]

  and a viable way you see you see people [TS]

  who maybe weren't born a kook but have [TS]

  met are now choosing to choosing to [TS]

  effect a kind of cookie pneus then maybe [TS]

  isn't even their birthday talking [TS]

  themselves into it [TS]

  yeah like all this is cool i mean this [TS]

  thing's fun and and and pretty soon and [TS]

  I think even more like the guy but the [TS]

  sword guy on the bike today instead of [TS]

  running down the street and have [TS]

  everybody got well there's that guy he'd [TS]

  be waiting at a stoplight and some kid [TS]

  in a area in a wizard tap would run up [TS]

  there [TS]

  do you want to play with the coast of me [TS]

  or whatever and he would get he would [TS]

  get absorbed it people would would maybe [TS]

  falsely identify him as a member of [TS]

  their tribe he might get a record [TS]

  contract with jack city right or he [TS]

  might end up like I'm not I'm no longer [TS]

  the sword guy on the bike i am now this [TS]

  character that is being kind of semi [TS]

  worshipped by a group of nerds who don't [TS]

  understand that I'm legitimately [TS]

  nuts CLA come of the end they turned him [TS]

  into a finished item you saw you I don't [TS]

  you know like to keep our show timeless [TS]

  you know what these two programs that [TS]

  people can listen two years from now and [TS]

  still get your wisdom from so I you can [TS]

  tell me if you don't talk about this but [TS]

  you've actually been a comic-con and I [TS]

  kind of want to hear about that but i'm [TS]

  not sure if only hear about that but I [TS]

  just point out that as recently as i [TS]

  believe last week you were on a cruise [TS]

  ship for people who like Jonathan [TS]

  Coulton right well not just people who [TS]

  like Jonathan Coulton all about is the [TS]

  dominating feet but the galaxy elevator [TS]

  pitch on the cruise jack-up jungkook [TS]

  screws what's called Jatakas crazy Joe [TS]

  Cruz crazy which is named after one of [TS]

  jonathan coulton songs Tom Cruise crazy [TS]

  right which is about a kind of crazy [TS]

  that only Tom Cruise if you had Tom [TS]

  Cruise's travels you'd be time to go [TS]

  straight to do you have another lyrics [TS]

  to songs of course i do I i'm a fan of [TS]

  jonathan coulton you you know what I'm [TS]

  gonna write this down I think you've [TS]

  undergone a transformation almost circle [TS]

  back to that but but i don't see 2003 [TS]

  John knowing all these words that you [TS]

  like to make my job spec then well you [TS]

  know like dead milkmen we know you [TS]

  stipulate you like to look man I do you [TS]

  don't see a senior / i remember you and [TS]

  I have very very uh I remember you [TS]

  giving me that they might be giants [TS]

  lecture before i had toured with they [TS]

  might be giants before I met them in New [TS]

  them and became friends of friends with [TS]

  them early early on in New York my [TS]

  friendship we had a conversation where I [TS]

  think I started out saying yeah I mean I [TS]

  loved the Giants back in the eighties [TS]

  but I mean you know it's kind of it's [TS]

  kind of in the novelty sharp music [TS]

  family black ghetto a catalyst jonathan [TS]

  coulton it's a wagging tail and you [TS]

  jumped up on a coffee table and said my [TS]

  solo [TS]

  you have no idea what you're talking [TS]

  about listen to these words and you and [TS]

  you broke down I probably played you [TS]

  they'll need a crane which sounds like a [TS]

  very peppy song about construction [TS]

  equipment you broke down a few different [TS]

  songs [TS]

  yeah said do you see what's happening [TS]

  here do you see what's happening here [TS]

  who and and you know because i'm a [TS]

  difficult person i think i may be made [TS]

  you work a little bit [TS]

  berger and i think i may be said no [TS]

  thank you had not sure that you so many [TS]

  ways you know me but but I did see [TS]

  immediately what you meant and uh and it [TS]

  then of course going on tour with them i [TS]

  realized that you know their songs [TS]

  couched in the language couched in pain [TS]

  in humorous or sort of novel language uh [TS]

  they might be giants songs are about the [TS]

  human condition and like Jonathan [TS]

  Coulton and that is precisely true [TS]

  jonathan coulton that his songs about [TS]

  monkeys and zombies and robots are [TS]

  really about love and sadness and loss [TS]

  and all the things that make us human [TS]

  and the fact that they are you know the [TS]

  fact that the topics are giggly who is [TS]

  what draws the Nerds i think but what [TS]

  keeps the nerds and what makes him a [TS]

  cultural force and what makes the the [TS]

  Giants of cultural forces that you can [TS]

  listen to this stuff [TS]

  dig in a little bit deeper and realize [TS]

  oh my god this is that the pay those [TS]

  that's in this music is is the fact that [TS]

  the music is is fun to listen to doesn't [TS]

  make it any less meaningful who [TS]

  so you you actually gave me that you [TS]

  gave me that speech about they might be [TS]

  giants before I never met them and it [TS]

  acted it it it truly help me because [TS]

  going on tour with them i was kinda [TS]

  primed to listen to them in a different [TS]

  way and then of course I became friends [TS]

  with them and you know I think they're [TS]

  they're some of the most deeply human [TS]

  people i know helps that they put on a [TS]

  hell of a reaction 2 and 0 [TS]

  it helps that Jonathan Coulton is a is a [TS]

  songwriter like of the of the highest [TS]

  order [TS]

  you know he understands music and how [TS]

  songs are put together so anyway I have [TS]

  been drawn into this nerd culture [TS]

  through becoming an appreciator of some [TS]

  of the highest practitioners of the art [TS]

  if you know what I mean who you know [TS]

  like i am not i have not i'm not such a [TS]

  member of the nerd culture that anybody [TS]

  that stands up [TS]

  with a banjo and wrote a song about a [TS]

  robot is somebody that I'm gonna be like [TS]

  I love songs about robots because [TS]

  actually I do not love songs about robot [TS]

  well there's a thread on this trip they [TS]

  might be giants by think one thing that [TS]

  all Jonathan songs is a sense of being [TS]

  an outsider and not being precisely sure [TS]

  what to do about it and and feeling a [TS]

  little bit misunderstood that's what I [TS]

  like about that like the mad scientist [TS]

  zombie stuff is is the the person [TS]

  writing the song has the awareness that [TS]

  that person is an outsider and knows why [TS]

  but i think it back to the DMV you may [TS]

  feel like an outsider a lot of times in [TS]

  your life and think all of the tricks [TS]

  that I have for fixing this are not [TS]

  working and it's making it worse [TS]

  and this is a this has been a recurring [TS]

  theme for me in in trying to integrate [TS]

  or interact with these people because [TS]

  for many many many years for most of my [TS]

  life I considered myself a nerd and it [TS]

  was because as a young person you talk [TS]

  about six seven eight years old I was [TS]

  precocious and articulate and I like to [TS]

  talk to adults and I didn't like comic [TS]

  books and I didn't like sports and so my [TS]

  peers in school [TS]

  absolutely called me a nerd treated me [TS]

  like a nerd talk to me as a nerd [TS]

  because because of of the simple fact [TS]

  that all kids like comic books and all [TS]

  kids like sports and I didn't like [TS]

  either thing and prefer to sit around [TS]

  you know that it was a party and there [TS]

  were some adults and the kids were off [TS]

  playing I'd go sit with the adults and [TS]

  try and listen to their conversation so [TS]

  as the years went by in high school I [TS]

  mean I i consider myself a nerd i'm sure [TS]

  there are people who went to high school [TS]

  with me that thought I want you know was [TS]

  one of the cool kids but I didn't and [TS]

  and you start to get that [TS]

  self-identification as a nerd when maybe [TS]

  you're not even realizing that you're [TS]

  kind of not want anymore [TS]

  yes a fight absolutely the same i still [TS]

  thought I was one and identified as one [TS]

  and that that self-identification [TS]

  carried on into adulthood well now i'm [TS]

  in a posture where am i meeting all [TS]

  these nerds who like comic books and [TS]

  sports [TS]

  and that is there like we're nerds we [TS]

  like comic books and i still have a very [TS]

  gud a deep reaction to that because as a [TS]

  kid it was precisely not like it was not [TS]

  liking comic books was what mainstream [TS]

  kids did it was precisely not liking [TS]

  comic books that made me feel like an [TS]

  outsider all these people who are 40 [TS]

  years old and still like comic books I [TS]

  understand why they feel like they're [TS]

  nerds but that's that's become so much [TS]

  more acceptable unless you yeah it's [TS]

  it's it's it's super mainstream to be [TS]

  like to be a 40-year old guy who is [TS]

  obsessed with sports or obsessed with [TS]

  superhero look at that Adam Savage guy i [TS]

  mean you know he's made a whole thing [TS]

  out of out of that I think I mean I well [TS]

  he also liked science and that is nerdy [TS]

  and is Mary I i was fortunate to visit [TS]

  his little area that he has a couple [TS]

  times and you visited his area [TS]

  yes I'm not trying to like that guy I [TS]

  tagged along with some people I thought [TS]

  you were talking about that you put your [TS]

  mouse mat areas horse area now no I've [TS]

  never touched Adam Savage horse area but [TS]

  I mean you know he's guide I it see the [TS]

  thing is i consider myself i always [TS]

  think of myself as being like a star [TS]

  wars nerd until I meet real star wars [TS]

  nerds and it's andrea oh my gosh it's so [TS]

  different so different I mean he's got I [TS]

  thought lightsabers were the same and [TS]

  boy was I wrong [TS]

  now I know that and I know Count Dooku [TS]

  has a really different lightsaber just [TS]

  cause it's just my daughter and reading [TS]

  things and watching movies but I think [TS]

  he's got like we got mostly made like [TS]

  machined all the different light sabers [TS]

  he's got all these got lightsabers [TS]

  yeah that even showing stuff i was just [TS]

  on this nerd crews and at work during [TS]

  one of the performances somebody made a [TS]

  total recall reference and in the space [TS]

  of 30 seconds three or four more Total [TS]

  Recall references followed it like boom [TS]

  boom [TS]

  well I was still strong i was standing [TS]

  there on the stage struggling term Total [TS]

  Recall right that's that Arnold [TS]

  Schwarzenegger movie where he was uh [TS]

  it's like he forgot Who and I by the [TS]

  time i'm even putting the plot of it [TS]

  together Total Recall there there has [TS]

  been a total recall mean visited [TS]

  explored and we are on to something else [TS]

  and I'm like that is a kind of [TS]

  absorption and I end and in a kind of [TS]

  love popular culture that i just i [TS]

  simply do not have like i did not go [TS]

  back and watch Total Recall again and [TS]

  again as one of 500 movies that I've [TS]

  watched multiple times so i can't really [TS]

  i mean i can't play at that level I [TS]

  think nerds I think there's I have a lot [TS]

  of attention maybe everybody's got [TS]

  retention about the things they care [TS]

  about but I mean you know I used to know [TS]

  a lot about hip points i didn't have to [TS]

  look that up [TS]

  there's a lot of things I didn't lie low [TS]

  and we're going to say Hitler and I [TS]

  we've been pretty good about avoiding [TS]

  the Hitler for a while you know what you [TS]

  know what I wanted her to know it's like [TS]

  it's like a net down the little book [TS]

  here there's a writer and I might be one [TS]

  you know what I watched last night like [TS]

  I got back from Florida I'm lying in my [TS]

  bed you're in florida [TS]

  well yeah that's where the crews went [TS]

  from where did it's a embarked from Fort [TS]

  Lauderdale [TS]

  oh my god yeah the but if God was going [TS]

  to give america and he would put it in [TS]

  fort lauderdale never come out in cystic [TS]

  American no no God frontier on the way [TS]

  back and American the way they're both [TS]

  of them complete slave barges hell [TS]

  storms yeah they're just flinging [TS]

  calling and calling us on a hell ship [TS]

  yeah you know with the airlines are [TS]

  doing now they're inventing new rules [TS]

  every 30 seconds [TS]

  oh it's just so capricious this sat in a [TS]

  chair and they're like oh you can't sit [TS]

  in that chair because you have a baby on [TS]

  your lap and I was like how is this [TS]

  chair different from anywhere any other [TS]

  chair on the airplane and they said well [TS]

  that chairs behind the next step and I [TS]

  said I understand what you're saying now [TS]

  I understand why a baby camp in an exit [TS]

  row but there's no reason that I can't [TS]

  is a flight risk behind an exit row and [TS]

  then the next Stewart is that comes by [TS]

  says so I had the baby off you know to [TS]

  my to my baby mama [TS]

  and the next door is down the line comes [TS]

  along and says there are too many people [TS]

  in that row they're not enough air [TS]

  they're not of oxygen masks in that row [TS]

  442 lat babies and fight you know i'm [TS]

  just like you just making shit up now [TS]

  absolutely and services are so [TS]

  disempowered that they don't that [TS]

  they're just like the only thing I can [TS]

  do is walk down the aisle and all I I [TS]

  know you love your bureaucracy and you [TS]

  are a huge event I think the thing is [TS]

  when you get to a point where you don't [TS]

  have real power anymore you know they [TS]

  say that in life a real power is not the [TS]

  ability to say no [TS]

  icw say yes and I think when you become [TS]

  a bureaucrat you mainly drive a lot of [TS]

  your power from saying no real power in [TS]

  improv is the ability to say yes yes and [TS]

  yes and right sorry yes but haha [TS]

  there's a famous yes there's a little [TS]

  story where Joan Rivers was doing a [TS]

  scene with mike nichols and you know [TS]

  everybody learns the S&L clothes from [TS]

  the beginning and supposedly mechnical [TS]

  started I was like I can't believe this [TS]

  is why we're getting divorced and [TS]

  remember because we talk about we're not [TS]

  even married she was considered not good [TS]

  at that now here's there's two things [TS]

  first of all yes yes that is ridiculous [TS]

  there are some baby things there's a lot [TS]

  of fairly sensible baby things on one of [TS]

  those but I mean as far as those as a [TS]

  ride like that when they said don't [TS]

  drown your baby in a bucket I was like [TS]

  oh helpful advice thank you [TS]

  yeah but well the air harpies that [TS]

  they're they're very unhappy people but [TS]

  here's the other thing that drives me [TS]

  crazy is the redundancy every statement [TS]

  they make almost every statement made on [TS]

  a plane has a built-in redundancy that [TS]

  makes me flip [TS]

  what's this i hear about your 2 p.s [TS]

  reports you gotta come to or we gotta [TS]

  wait till we come to a full and complete [TS]

  stop [TS]

  yeah oh that is redundant oh you never [TS]

  noticed this and our plane is a hundred [TS]

  percent full oh you never noticed this [TS]

  its mounting oh my ears my ears were [TS]

  attuned to it but now you are causing a [TS]

  new thing for me to be pissed off about [TS]

  so I don't going to stand up routine is [TS]

  just the air travel is just it's so [TS]

  unpleasant whatever here so unpleasant [TS]

  going back to what last night got home [TS]

  and I was like so how long's that's like [TS]

  that's like an hour flight well since we [TS]

  stopped to denver don't get me started [TS]

  a long time i was on the plane all day I [TS]

  get home and I'm sitting there i got my [TS]

  ipad I'm like I'm gonna watch a movie [TS]

  and I can't go on to netflix i'm just [TS]

  i'm i'm i'm promoting product after [TS]

  product here [TS]

  ipad netflix Hitler Hitler I go on [TS]

  netflix and based on the based on the [TS]

  movies I've watched in the past netflix [TS]

  suggest that maybe I would like to relax [TS]

  by watching triumph of the will and i [TS]

  think that's so funny that i watch it [TS]

  pretty isn't it pretty long while lying [TS]

  in bed watching trying for the world it [TS]

  is very long lots of slow motion and [TS]

  lots of martial music most of the most [TS]

  of the film is not speeches most of the [TS]

  films people marching around while the [TS]

  music goes [TS]

  dar-dar-dar-dar an ardor and like slow [TS]

  slow fades between big flapping swastika [TS]

  flags and all these blonde crew-cut guys [TS]

  looking like with the total agile ation [TS]

  at this slumpy little Austrian you know [TS]

  but Paul up of Hitler and and I'm and [TS]

  halfway through the night I'm like what [TS]

  are you doing this is to our long movie [TS]

  a trip to our long propaganda film about [TS]

  Hitler what are you doing [TS]

  couldn't you have watched happy gilmore [TS]

  or something like just go turn your [TS]

  brain off instead I'm like I'm looking [TS]

  at every single and what I'm really [TS]

  fascinated by their tailoring and all [TS]

  the kind of opinions I don't know it's a [TS]

  it's amazing film but not netflix i [TS]

  don't think netflix really understands [TS]

  me as well as it thinks it does we get [TS]

  they suggest it was lots of thomas the [TS]

  train things [TS]

  yeah but yet netflix recommendations can [TS]

  be very odd but in that case John I mean [TS]

  I think you're that's your fighting [TS]

  uphill battles instructor flew past is [TS]

  prologue right up [TS]

  I would worry he started getting lots of [TS]

  like you know Iran vehicles or something [TS]

  and that's next rider Clint Eastwood [TS]

  movies haven't seen a lot of Hitler [TS]

  movies is that whenever using the mean [TS]

  sea no with bread [TS]

  against freaking out good actor but i [TS]

  don't think i've seen many other movies [TS]

  they switch tora tora when I was a kid [TS]

  that was my that was my canonical long [TS]

  movie when I was making Midway's of [TS]

  great movies a good one alright Midway's [TS]

  great except down except there's a scene [TS]

  it's just getting I remember I watching [TS]

  the way in the theaters with my dad [TS]

  because he's a world war two veteran we [TS]

  always went to sea world war two movies [TS]

  and Midway came out in 78 or something [TS]

  like that we go to see the movie you [TS]

  know it's about the Battle of Midway [TS]

  which is the turning point of the war [TS]

  food and there's a scene when the [TS]

  Americans have the Americans have the [TS]

  clouds have parted their up in their [TS]

  airplanes and they see the Japanese [TS]

  fleet and this is the big moment right [TS]

  like they are surprised attacking these [TS]

  three japanese aircraft carriers and [TS]

  this is this is the this is really the [TS]

  turning point in the war [TS]

  japanese don't know they're there and [TS]

  the Americans you know they they they [TS]

  know their planes over and then go into [TS]

  this steep dive in there they're headed [TS]

  down cut to a shot of the deck of the [TS]

  Japanese carrier where all these [TS]

  Japanese American actors are milling [TS]

  around on the deck pretending to be a [TS]

  bunch of sailors just going about their [TS]

  business unaware that the Americans are [TS]

  about to attack them and I imagine as an [TS]

  actor that that's a hard right that's a [TS]

  hard thing for director tell you all [TS]

  right you're on the deck of the aircraft [TS]

  carrier and you're just doing your work [TS]

  you're doing your aircraft carrier work [TS]

  you have no idea that the Americans are [TS]

  about to attack so just act natural [TS]

  so all these guys milling around the [TS]

  deck of the aircraft carrier and the [TS]

  whole sudden one of the guy right in the [TS]

  center of the screen [TS]

  apropos of nothing [TS]

  spins around points to the sky goes by [TS]

  about my job on that as though i mean [TS]

  really busy playing this playing that [TS]

  famous the famous casual oriental [TS]

  coolness about about about playing [TS]

  attacks [TS]

  yeah yeah two seconds before he was what [TS]

  was really that ping-pong it was and and [TS]

  and made it was it wasn't it wasn't just [TS]

  the whole I mean this is from the era [TS]

  when the portrayal of Japanese in war [TS]

  movies was pretty touch-and-go but even [TS]

  tora tora tora like that subtitles like [TS]

  the Japanese people people spoke [TS]

  Japanese yeah and no this was the in [TS]

  this in this film uh there were there [TS]

  were American actors playing the [TS]

  japanese characters if i recall [TS]

  correctly who but definitely this one [TS]

  actor this one guy who two seconds [TS]

  before was just on his way across the [TS]

  aircraft carrier deck probably he was [TS]

  the guy he was an orderly or he was [TS]

  headed somewhere to to change the toilet [TS]

  paper or something and then he spins [TS]

  around points to the sky goes down the [TS]

  Tama and at eight years old I was like [TS]

  well that just took me out of the movie [TS]

  i was really engrossed a second ago but [TS]

  that one scene that guy's terrible [TS]

  acting really and so now I can't watch [TS]

  the movie with that what we're now [TS]

  waiting for that guy like I love him now [TS]

  this is joon 1942 is it really that [TS]

  early was considered a turning point [TS]

  where we still kind of getting our ass [TS]

  kicked up through like 43 what we were [TS]

  accepted [TS]

  well it was a turning point because we [TS]

  think 33 japanese characters in one in [TS]

  one battle and that was the four [TS]

  carriers one Cruiser 248 aircraft for [TS]

  carrier [TS]

  yeah wewe lost 1 in a loss for I'm sorry [TS]

  and they forgive me 3057 Japanese killed [TS]

  ya think is always right but the four [TS]

  carriers in the war in the Pacific was a [TS]

  was a carrier war movie know what's [TS]

  along that's a long drive [TS]

  it is it's a really long drive and and [TS]

  and establishing air superiority [TS]

  through all those archipelagos all [TS]

  through the you know through Southeast [TS]

  Asia like the carriers were going to be [TS]

  the deciding factor and the Japanese did [TS]

  not have the ability that we had again [TS]

  wasn't them [TS]

  we could but we kicked our war machine [TS]

  into gear and we were turning out [TS]

  aircraft carriers like like Lay's potato [TS]

  chips and that was much more of a [TS]

  capital investment on their part and it [TS]

  was much harder for them to replace [TS]

  those characters carriers so yeah [TS]

  looking i don't think at the time they [TS]

  thought turning point of the war who but [TS]

  in retrospect also says here at [TS]

  code-breaking code-breaking was a big [TS]

  part of the war wasn't with the enigma [TS]

  and stuff that's partly how we won right [TS]

  well and in Europe and make my helped us [TS]

  a lot and then they did that thing is [TS]

  they didn't know we cracked it for a [TS]

  long time now is a big part of a rate [TS]

  that's the thing again is this why you [TS]

  don't put your name for this way to put [TS]

  your newspapers in the window [TS]

  you're saying this much more valuable if [TS]

  they don't know what we separate ships i [TS]

  was reading about the potential much as [TS]

  i do I don't know why I always end up [TS]

  reading about awful things I ended up [TS]

  you heard me earlier reference tell [TS]

  ships i I've been reading on that [TS]

  Frederick Douglass autobiography which [TS]

  is a heck of a reed and and reading [TS]

  about slave ships and apparently they're [TS]

  pretty pretty unpleasant to be on what i [TS]

  can tell it's just you were talking [TS]

  about on death march and then you're [TS]

  talking about Frederick Douglass and was [TS]

  like I'm gonna pull this all together [TS]

  my brain was just going to mention that [TS]

  denzel washington movie but I was [TS]

  turning the key and the starter was just [TS]

  not engaging was like how is he gonna do [TS]

  it how we connect those smiley I'm not [TS]

  the scholar that you are but anyway then [TS]

  I ended up reading diversely know how [TS]

  this is the wikipedia problem is you're [TS]

  not even reading these things why I know [TS]

  more about serial killers and I would [TS]

  ever hear my god me too i did i'd done [TS]

  serial killers on wikipedia big time [TS]

  there's a page we can find his killed [TS]

  the most I think it's gary ridgway isn't [TS]

  true [TS]

  I haven't looked in a while Gary [TS]

  ridgway's at this green river guy [TS]

  no it was really he said he still holds [TS]

  the record [TS]

  well the problem is that you never know [TS]

  how many possible 100-plus that's right [TS]

  that's right and ended up reading about [TS]

  the potential march which is all [TS]

  the potential march which is all [TS]

  so apparently pretty unpleasant that was [TS]

  bad and so is it correct that with boys [TS]

  is really gonna be a funny episode is [TS]

  that down and they made it sound like [TS]

  like though the really really horrific [TS]

  things that happen on the potential [TS]

  march we very effectively we yes it was [TS]

  way the Allies the United States used it [TS]

  very effectively to like redouble [TS]

  everybody's effort on how important this [TS]

  was [TS]

  I mean at the time there was whispers [TS]

  about about the camps right yeah but we [TS]

  knew that they were just banning people [TS]

  for no reason [TS]

  yeah and that was now is it true that [TS]

  was a very effective way to redouble [TS]

  people's efforts at a time when we work [TS]

  wasn't going that great one also the [TS]

  soldiers that were bataan death march [TS]

  where precisely the soldiers that [TS]

  MacArthur abandoned when he snuck out of [TS]

  the philippines in the dead of the night [TS]

  escaping the Japanese advance so [TS]

  MacArthur's whole like I shall return [TS]

  business was you know kind of a shadowed [TS]

  or shaded by the fact that a lot of the [TS]

  people that a lot of his army that he [TS]

  left behind got you know got baton [TS]

  so when he when he landed in the [TS]

  Philippines again it had this had the [TS]

  air of like retribution and had like [TS]

  they're it wasn't just that we're here [TS]

  to save our philippine brothers it was [TS]

  we're here to avenge I think that death [TS]

  and mistreatment of all these you know [TS]

  these men to salvage my reputation [TS]

  that's right all these men that I [TS]

  unfortunately had to leave behind when I [TS]

  split early on in the war really made [TS]

  the article he made it sound like you [TS]

  know first of all these were [TS]

  particularly nice people that were [TS]

  running the death march but also that it [TS]

  was a resource thing that they couldn't [TS]

  they couldn't afford ships to transport [TS]

  an instance I mean they could their [TS]

  scrounging food and water from the [TS]

  Landers they went by now there are a lot [TS]

  of people on that March when it is very [TS]

  hard and how low the morale and health [TS]

  was on the people that were being [TS]

  attacked so anyway uh World War [TS]

  dysentery you know dysentery cause a lot [TS]

  of people that's one such a cheerful [TS]

  attitude [TS]

  I know two things about death i know [TS]

  that i have heard that the reason [TS]

  anybody ever dies is is because [TS]

  basically their lack of oxygen that's [TS]

  ultimately what it comes down to it was [TS]

  a gunshot wound or you know obviously [TS]

  autos asphyxiation but that the other [TS]

  one is that diarrhea is the main cause [TS]

  of death in the world with the true [TS]

  yeah i think that is true people become [TS]

  dehydrated and through a process of not [TS]

  having enough hydration from cr2 nerds [TS]

  which is what Hitler pooping out D&D [TS]

  emoticons no emoticons used to be mad [TS]

  about emoticons are you still mad about [TS]

  him [TS]

  did you like you only commit all i'm [TS]

  still waiting myself off them because [TS]

  it's been so automatic since 1990 [TS]

  whatever three going on the Internet [TS]

  let me just be typing I I'm still [TS]

  weighing myself I don't have any [TS]

  something beside emoticon I i I'm gonna [TS]

  cause I'm opposed to primarily because i [TS]

  am a student of language and I don't [TS]

  think that they do any better I'll jolly [TS]

  word fucking brain but also you know my [TS]

  mom's didn't have a lot of things that [TS]

  doesn't make your authority on any of [TS]

  them from my mom's story was that she [TS]

  was a she was the computer programmer in [TS]

  the sixties and seventies and wrote [TS]

  oh and the early sixties and wrote a lot [TS]

  of the code that uh that still drives [TS]

  are our American industries of insurance [TS]

  banking etc etc and during the speech [TS]

  issues like it wasn't like a manager of [TS]

  programmers to and she's hardcore yeah [TS]

  she was details like the excuse like the [TS]

  Carroll k of punch cards right during [TS]

  the y2k era she was getting all these [TS]

  phone calls from people saying like we [TS]

  think that I didn't hear 2,000 [TS]

  everything's going to shut down and [TS]

  nobody knows how to write this code [TS]

  anymore nobody knows how to nobody you [TS]

  understand how it's built will you come [TS]

  back and help us save our save our skins [TS]

  and she was like not for any money in [TS]

  the world up sean connery said it first [TS]

  with the Alcatraz when Sean Connery they [TS]

  brought in to whatever they need an [TS]

  expert on Alcatraz right Sean Connery is [TS]

  an expert on Alcatraz not [TS]

  one was the one where the people took [TS]

  over the island not the not the Native [TS]

  Americans but was Nicolas Cage movie [TS]

  where they had to bring in somebody had [TS]

  been a prisoner there to really [TS]

  understand how the place operated [TS]

  clattering into the prisoner of alcohol [TS]

  controls uh well i think probably I mean [TS]

  no no now you don't talk about tho you [TS]

  gotta bring on no and no but I'm for any [TS]

  money in the world Sean Connery's what [TS]

  she said she said no way am i touching [TS]

  that crap spaghetti code no way and she [TS]

  is or she just had to walk the dog she [TS]

  wrote your mom is a very very well [TS]

  defined schedule understand she's very [TS]

  little sense she said screw you let you [TS]

  know [TS]

  damn the torpedoes some you know some [TS]

  days like to just watch the world burn [TS]

  your mom get that well she did she [TS]

  certainly wasn't gonna go back and help [TS]

  them [TS]

  straighten out there straighten out [TS]

  their problem and it turned out not to [TS]

  be that big of a problem but during that [TS]

  era during that time she talked about it [TS]

  a lot and she was like you know every [TS]

  every a every character every space was [TS]

  so valuable to us at the time who that [TS]

  you know two more two more characters in [TS]

  a line of code was you know that we were [TS]

  trying to we're trying to pare it down [TS]

  to make it as efficient as possible we [TS]

  want then you were just throwing an [TS]

  extra two numbers in there to stipulate [TS]

  the date [TS]

  whereas whereas I have five Twitter [TS]

  applications on the pocket computer [TS]

  yeah and and so you know she was like [TS]

  that's just that's just how it was weird [TS]

  nobody was looking to the year 2001 [TS]

  because there is none of us thought that [TS]

  this stuff would still be running them [TS]

  there was not a single one of us in 1967 [TS]

  that thought that the stuff we were [TS]

  riding would still be running insurance [TS]

  companies in 40 years and so I think [TS]

  that way about emoticons i think that [TS]

  the every emoticon that gets used in the [TS]

  future that will be an emotion and has [TS]

  to get parsed by somebody down the line [TS]

  oh I see what you're saying is anyway [TS]

  that will have longevity some archivist [TS]

  who is going to be really like another [TS]

  smiley face but you don't think they'll [TS]

  have a way to parse that look like [TS]

  regular expressions [TS]

  something that will just come up the [TS]

  machines exactly the logic they used [TS]

  when the one about writing code in the [TS]

  sixties you think there'll be something [TS]

  they'll be some magic floating car that [TS]

  solve this problem [TS]

  I don't think so I what happens is it's [TS]

  good some some schmuck at the library of [TS]

  congress is like God grown man's tweets [TS]

  all have these smiley face that's not [TS]

  fair up if they could find a way to [TS]

  parse out the poop jokes i think i think [TS]

  the last just fine now I've thought [TS]

  about getting a catchphrase i'm trying [TS]

  to think what i really say when I make a [TS]

  smiley face you don't mean they always [TS]

  make it sound so simple you buy one of [TS]

  those internet books in the mid-nineties [TS]

  it would say you know like like smiley [TS]

  face means just kidding or whatever [TS]

  right [TS]

  write it as much as they say in your [TS]

  face smiley faces you is so often used [TS]

  as a take-back like you think it's [TS]

  passive aggressive that's yes [TS]

  yeah I think your fucking face smiley [TS]

  face it's like so you don't think I'm my [TS]

  fucking face [TS]

  Oh see now it's coming together the text [TS]

  the text some of the texts get under [TS]

  your skin has smiling faces and there's [TS]

  a part of it [TS]

  anybody that the people shoot anybody [TS]

  who has my phone number enough to text [TS]

  me knows not to send a smiley face [TS]

  intact [TS]

  not at all no butBut I have started [TS]

  writing in emails i just sent us such a [TS]

  little a message there i've started [TS]

  writing emails like your face and then [TS]

  in parentheses Iraq smiley face emoticon [TS]

  and perfect just the way this does a way [TS]

  of saying I could play along [TS]

  oh my god you sent me a smiley face with [TS]

  a music note such as some others a 8th [TS]

  notes maybe it's that it's animated to [TS]

  this animated on yours [TS]

  anime together notes are it's like 45 [TS]

  notes and let me just found a much [TS]

  bigger problem i hadn't I'm so sorry [TS]

  John had no idea of sending you animated [TS]

  music I'm really sorry about that [TS]

  not animated online you get that new [TS]

  skype probably it's all screwed up no I [TS]

  haven't seen Scott that you do because [TS]

  you told me that my skype was the best [TS]

  skype and not to get a new skype for wow [TS]

  I gotta find out I I you know what I [TS]

  apologize for that you know this is part [TS]

  of the problem being that guy i think i [TS]

  have one wielding power that I don't [TS]

  even understand [TS]

  so this thing now is just gonna sit here [TS]

  and it's a some kind of gift and it's [TS]

  just gonna animate itself 4,000 years [TS]

  ago when you exercise let's hear your [TS]

  text technical expertise on things that [TS]

  it is i'm going to animated gift and [TS]

  some kind of gift problem is there you [TS]

  gotta close to be dead and this thing [TS]

  will still be smiling and dancing around [TS]

  here [TS]

  yeah yeah it's running the air traffic [TS]

  control system slightly but i don't know [TS]

  i need a catchphrase really is a [TS]

  catchphrase [TS]

  well maybe we should maybe we should put [TS]

  it to the voters [TS]

  yeah but you know what I don't think you [TS]

  can know never let people put on a [TS]

  catchphrase like going heavy a second [TS]

  location but now you can't make that [TS]

  stuff up it's like people give [TS]

  themselves nicknames or you know this is [TS]

  really not so different from wearing the [TS]

  Duster but i'm not really sure what the [TS]

  impression is that your supposed to be [TS]

  giving with the Duster a lot of times [TS]

  that's you're taller heavier nerves [TS]

  where the Duster yeah what's the dusters [TS]

  to communicate that they are high plains [TS]

  drifters or that they are road warrior [TS]

  or that they have five subway sandwich [TS]

  it's like it's cooked 5 subway [TS]

  sandwiches in a custom-made leather [TS]

  subway sandwich rolls pretty colored [TS]

  role in the cinco I i think i think the [TS]

  duster and it is a it's a way to stand [TS]

  at the entrance to a parking garage and [TS]

  look like you mean some serious business [TS]

  you know I mean like the Duster is the [TS]

  universal symbol of what i got on under [TS]

  this coat right like you in the cape [TS]

  I mean you see if you see a man the cake [TS]

  and a cape and especially only going to [TS]

  be honest the walgreens Cape you see a [TS]

  man in a walgreens Cape i highly [TS]

  recommend you run for your lives [TS]

  he's gonna need a nap soon that's not [TS]

  without a thing that's not a thing I [TS]

  mean I'm probably the one fully grown [TS]

  man in a walgreens keep that isn't on [TS]

  Halloween that you should walk toward if [TS]

  you see me in a walgreens cape by all [TS]

  means come over and introduce yourself [TS]

  but anyone else hell no you should've [TS]

  asked to play the cello i'm going to [TS]

  send you this cello [TS]

  how would you know how would you send [TS]

  something like that he just ship it went [TS]

  overnight that nose is a real challenge [TS]

  is this like jello it's somewhere [TS]

  between a real and junk cello look at [TS]

  started cello is like once a special ok [TS]

  as it does have a bow [TS]

  it's a german starter challenge has a [TS]

  bow [TS]

  okay and is 908 you the information is [TS]

  on the fingers that you're the bridges [TS]

  and fucked up you know i can understand [TS]

  perfectly useful instrument need to get [TS]

  it setup or refracted or anything out of [TS]

  the usual needed it you know you re [TS]

  friended know it's a it's a perfectly [TS]

  good instrument I've used it on long [TS]

  winters records but it's a it's just a [TS]

  would you like to count out on the back [TS]

  like a bluegrass band how you play it [TS]

  yeah i used an online setting up a [TS]

  corner and not use it as inspiration and [TS]

  sing to it you know it's a lie i'm just [TS]

  i'm i'm starting to look at i'm going to [TS]

  look at my life and realize that I am a [TS]

  hoarder and that i have not become a [TS]

  hoarder who lives like in a can in a [TS]

  shipping container because i still have [TS]

  that there's still the the premise that [TS]

  things are like stacked and ordered in a [TS]

  way but I don't need a cello if I needed [TS]

  if I need to tell apart on along with [TS]

  his record i can have a cello player i [TS]

  can hire a channel player who I don't [TS]

  need to own a cello as a country you [TS]

  might at some point that we think I [TS]

  might need this [TS]

  Oh everything I'm looking at everything [TS]

  I'm like definitely need that the [TS]

  candles your candles and get those [TS]

  candles what if there's a power outage [TS]

  or what if I become a phantom [TS]

  I got a lot of bells here [TS]

  hmm i don't strictly need I'm very very [TS]

  interested in hoarding especially [TS]

  because i've had to clean my office this [TS]

  week I don't want to get into that but [TS]

  it's been but I think if you if you [TS]

  collect things here's the thing is that [TS]

  a lot of people who say they're [TS]

  collectors are hoarders and there's [TS]

  usually ways to tell if you've collected [TS]

  things and you put them in some kind of [TS]

  an order where you can see them and if [TS]

  you selected which ones to keep in which [TS]

  ones to get away with what you mean like [TS]

  if you've got like if you give you [TS]

  collect what like if you collect like [TS]

  bus of Hitler like if you've got five of [TS]

  those and you can arrange them [TS]

  let's just take my opportunities and I [TS]

  want to give you any ideas but have you [TS]

  have a Hitler bust and you five of them [TS]

  and look they're all different friend [TS]

  collected et's odd had to be [TS]

  non-licensed ETS but like a flea markets [TS]

  my friend Dennis would always pick up [TS]

  any tease cookie jars but they had to be [TS]

  he would not buy one set of unlicensed [TS]

  and he had them over the fireplace and [TS]

  was outstanding [TS]

  that's a lot like having a cape to be [TS]

  honest you walk into that place you see [TS]

  like five or six like poorly painted [TS]

  et's start thinking about your life in [TS]

  your case like all your candles being [TS]

  together on your piano [TS]

  yes super creepy but i think that [TS]

  constitutes a collection of the things [TS]

  that you have in boxes that you don't [TS]

  put out [TS]

  oh no except a picture frames that's [TS]

  challenging how are you going to display [TS]

  picture frames that you need pictures [TS]

  that's what I'm sorry but you're not [TS]

  here's the thing and I don't mean to go [TS]

  aldara dog here but you don't want [TS]

  people thinking about what's inside you [TS]

  want them thinking about the frame [TS]

  itself right well that still ahead still [TS]

  it's more complicated than that you have [TS]

  the jury's still out [TS]

  you're not sure if you just you knew [TS]

  that you needed the frames you might [TS]

  need him someday and you'll figure it [TS]

  out later right exactly [TS]

  that's not bad people like my friends [TS]

  and my friend Scott pluff who plays [TS]

  drums in a band you may have heard of a [TS]

  called the spill [TS]

  he has a collection of of not unlike [TS]

  your not your friend who collects [TS]

  unlicensed et's he has a collection of [TS]

  of portraits hanging on a room of a in a [TS]

  room of this house which is a collection [TS]

  of portraits like you've seen a lot of [TS]

  places like if there was a couple of [TS]

  different bars [TS]

  in seattle where they've gone to thrift [TS]

  stores and bought a bunch of oil [TS]

  paintings of old guys are people and you [TS]

  know it's a it's a it's a fairly common [TS]

  decorating meme now right [TS]

  the the mismatch set of thrift store [TS]

  portraits but Scott plus collection of [TS]

  portraits is remarkable because it [TS]

  they're all like found objects but [TS]

  because he has this incredible aesthetic [TS]

  that each one of them is an amazing [TS]

  portrait you know it he did not do the [TS]

  thing where he went to three stores and [TS]

  was like oh there's a portrait of weird [TS]

  guy i'll buy it it's only a dollar who [TS]

  and then suddenly he had a house full of [TS]

  these things like what he's done is over [TS]

  the course of years he has only chosen [TS]

  the most amazing portraits that uh you [TS]

  know up [TS]

  he must have passed on a hundred to have [TS]

  this collection of 12 he must have [TS]

  passed on thousand oh he's discerning is [TS]

  discerning and so what what appears to [TS]

  be you go in there and you're like oh [TS]

  that's cool he's got a quirky set of of [TS]

  these things but if you look at any one [TS]

  of them you're like well now that is [TS]

  incredible that thing and and he's not a [TS]

  hoarder you know he does not fall for [TS]

  the trap of like I collect candlesticks [TS]

  so I have 600 of them [TS]

  he's like I collect candlesticks so i [TS]

  have six of them but each one of them is [TS]

  the best candlestick you ever saw and [TS]

  that's what I aspire to [TS]

  right but it's very hard for me to walk [TS]

  past you know if I'm collecting [TS]

  candlesticks it's very hard for me to [TS]

  walk past one and then once i have it [TS]

  here is what makes me a hoarder it's [TS]

  very difficult for me to go you know [TS]

  what this candlestick doesn't meet my [TS]

  standards so I'm gonna I'm not gonna I'm [TS]

  not gonna throw in the good about the [TS]

  kind of luminary Sophie's Choice you [TS]

  it's a lot of people like one in one out [TS]

  it's not a bad idea unless you have the [TS]

  storage space and you rotate it out like [TS]

  a museum [TS]

  yeah one in one out and that's [TS]

  absolutely how it should be or one into [TS]

  out you know how you decide on you're [TS]

  not picking up a picture frame it seems [TS]

  like you must encounter a lot of picture [TS]

  frames [TS]

  I do and I picture frames you know they [TS]

  come in standard sizes so it's always [TS]

  nice to find them when they're they're [TS]

  weird sizes and I just like you know i [TS]

  like them wear it it's old and some hold [TS]

  its it's obvious that it sat on some [TS]

  grandmother's piano for 60 years with [TS]

  her portrait of her dead son it in that [TS]

  stuff that stuff really speaks to me but [TS]

  I have too many of them right now [TS]

  not gonna lie I don't get into too much [TS]

  detail but for for external reasons that [TS]

  are basically i had there's gonna have [TS]

  to be somebody who comes into my office [TS]

  which is something that doesn't happen [TS]

  like this is this is my secret my secret [TS]

  you know Merlin dungeon like this this [TS]

  is never meant it is it was it's not a [TS]

  studio you don't come in there's no open [TS]

  houses there's no canap├ęs like I sneak [TS]

  in and lock the door right right and and [TS]

  as it happens somebody would have to be [TS]

  in here in the next couple weeks and I [TS]

  had to really scramble to get cleaned up [TS]

  which is good because it was time but it [TS]

  makes me realize how much stuff I [TS]

  tastily keep for absolutely no reason [TS]

  and i don't want to call it a collection [TS]

  but it makes me feel a little whore d [TS]

  and I don't feel good about it but i'll [TS]

  find stuff like in and this is I'm gonna [TS]

  crack about this on Twitter the other [TS]

  day like don't throw that away that's a [TS]

  really nice box [TS]

  I got hoes words have ever come out of [TS]

  your mouth but that's that's a good sign [TS]

  that the crazy is is is in there [TS]

  somewhere [TS]

  let's keep something because it's a good [TS]

  box really like a cardboard box in my [TS]

  case I have I have a collection of cards [TS]

  i love i really you know one of those [TS]

  real rigid ones that they can really [TS]

  stand up its good side sometimes you [TS]

  want a box [TS]

  now you know that you've moved when you [TS]

  move a lot of people to go we gotta go [TS]

  get some big boxes you do not want big [TS]

  boxes especially for books right you [TS]

  want something carry boxes the small box [TS]

  is not something to be treated lightly [TS]

  you know but then you get a storm you [TS]

  get boxes for your boxes in my case I'm [TS]

  sitting there like and I'm sitting there [TS]

  and i already have so many office [TS]

  supplies i have so many folders [TS]

  sometimes when I need to relax i buy [TS]

  notebook or index cards and unwind [TS]

  I know how much you like an index card [TS]

  and so I've got a lot of those and I [TS]

  mean what i would have seemed to have a [TS]

  lot of that I was never aware of it and [TS]

  you don't see this until you have to put [TS]

  it all in one place right [TS]

  you seem like you've got a pretty tiny [TS]

  house so you don't run into this in my [TS]

  case I can't believe how many almost [TS]

  full pads of post-it notes i have don't [TS]

  post it for anything [TS]

  I don't know why have them a huge box of [TS]

  almost full post it notes me know i do [TS]

  really not because i have ever bought a [TS]

  post-it note in my life but because my [TS]

  dad and my mom were both posted note [TS]

  maniacs your mom doesn't strike me as [TS]

  opposed to a person well no she's not [TS]

  now she's moved on you know what she is [TS]

  she well for a long time she was using [TS]

  index chalkboard know now she just uses [TS]

  her phone she's become a complete [TS]

  computer it's all in the computer and I [TS]

  have no context for understanding that [TS]

  really yeah we know posting up people [TS]

  you know you know I'm just telling you [TS]

  it's little things like cats and [TS]

  scrapbooking I'm telling you I'm telling [TS]

  you [TS]

  eventually the post-it notes will eat [TS]

  your face we gonna happen hate your toes [TS]

  your time Patrick toes and put a sign on [TS]

  your toe mr. Mullins please do not eat [TS]

  no it's I think it's a hoarding thing I [TS]

  think I think posting know people you [TS]

  know I think that they're worried [TS]

  they're worried i think i think courting [TS]

  is about the fear of loss [TS]

  well you know morning actually is not to [TS]

  go all I dsm but like it is it is a form [TS]

  of OCD right [TS]

  sure it's just instead of being [TS]

  obsessive compulsive about things you [TS]

  know being in a row or any of those [TS]

  famous haha things it's a compulsion [TS]

  about like losing something like I can't [TS]

  throw out this this box full of diapers [TS]

  because there might be one in there [TS]

  that's an important memory or have [TS]

  diamonds in it or something [TS]

  you've got this but you encounter with [TS]

  people and this is and this is why I [TS]

  worry about scrapbooking you you are [TS]

  kind of scrapbooking john and i think [TS]

  that's something to be aware of just [TS]

  even having a box full of post- you [TS]

  don't use something I would just if I [TS]

  may say something I want to think about [TS]

  well let me ask you this how many shoe [TS]

  boxes of power adapters to you have here [TS]

  in your life near me that near you [TS]

  couldn't handle me put it this way i [TS]

  will anything that's got a USB dingus on [TS]

  it I have a lot of trouble throwing out [TS]

  even if it even if I've got like 500 of [TS]

  them [TS]

  yeah because because they're always be a [TS]

  time right where I feel like I i need [TS]

  that I can't get rid of that and and [TS]

  this is the part of the problem is that [TS]

  when you become this way about stuff is [TS]

  you lose track of how much of it you [TS]

  actually have and that's when it becomes [TS]

  dangerous because not only are you going [TS]

  to keep way more than you need [TS]

  but if you don't know in the past I've [TS]

  been good about this and I go okay [TS]

  everything to us beating us has to go in [TS]

  this box and then by the time don't they [TS]

  look I go holy fucking shit [TS]

  yeah I cannot believe how many USB to [TS]

  like standard USB to mini-usb like male [TS]

  chords I've got it's completely [TS]

  ridiculous idea for that for me it's [TS]

  notebooks be serious [TS]

  this is what I'm alone this i have a [TS]

  serious note book problem and sometimes [TS]

  I'll use them sometimes I'll just pick [TS]

  them up because they're cool and you [TS]

  know it's funny because I make fun the [TS]

  notebook people a lot because you know [TS]

  for that haha you don't actually right [TS]

  in your notebooks have notebooks are [TS]

  right in but i also just collect [TS]

  interesting ones that iphone oh yeah [TS]

  they're beautiful little items aren't [TS]

  they yeah yeah [TS]

  icw collected is is you imagining a trip [TS]

  you're going to take we're going to [TS]

  write every day for you imagine sitting [TS]

  on a park bench and sketching me and [TS]

  maybe that could be could be used to be [TS]

  for me I mean I every i would buy a [TS]

  notebook and I would just look at and [TS]

  say like yeah I'm gonna you know this is [TS]

  the notebook I'm gonna be carrying when [TS]

  I cross the the Hindu cush [TS]

  sex that tantric thing crossing the [TS]

  Hindu cush can do Hindu Kush's is the [TS]

  name of my cosplay character man [TS]

  [Music] [TS]