Roderick on the Line

Ep. 23: "Flange of the Angel Curve"


  hello hey John how are you I'm Merlin [TS]

  was going it's going pretty good [TS]

  yeah my mouth a little dry was that [TS]

  well you know I quit drinking coffee and [TS]

  without coffee in the morning it's [TS]

  nothing else seems good so i don't so [TS]

  don't eat breakfast I don't have juice i [TS]

  just kind of sit in [TS]

  I would know first of all I got to say [TS]

  that I don't know if you're looking for [TS]

  a little i should go on the side but you [TS]

  being sad and saying that line in a [TS]

  commercial could be like the best thing [TS]

  that ever happened to the company [TS]

  industry without coffee [TS]

  nothing in life soon good without coffee [TS]

  is delicious lubricating mouth listeners [TS]

  John Rother it doesn't know what to do [TS]

  with himself in the morning [TS]

  my mouth is dry and my taste buds aren't [TS]

  thrilled like they normally are you need [TS]

  coffee now i have to tell you like [TS]

  there's things i think the hardest part [TS]

  for me with any kind of habit and I have [TS]

  many many bad habits i've been adding a [TS]

  couple of week on and you're [TS]

  skateboarding again a terrible habit i [TS]

  can keep with the Garlett sucks i'm [TS]

  doing that doing a 720 they call it the [TS]

  720 uh yeah they do call was about the [TS]

  720 okay all the 720 without a [TS]

  Nicaraguan my mouth need you know [TS]

  someone in the cigar goes a little bit i [TS]

  literally just find twice while I blew a [TS]

  guy from Central America a big [TS]

  Nicaraguan the big ring gauge 52 don't [TS]

  seem like your argument I don't smoke [TS]

  but here's here's the thing keep their [TS]

  stuff around the house or wow no no abre [TS]

  la puerta a problem where job putting up [TS]

  some kitchen cabinets are my Spanish is [TS]

  poor John my god that's funny you live [TS]

  in California and yours [TS]

  I should really be focusing on the [TS]

  mandarin my Cantonese you hear michael [TS]

  here with my fake am I think Mandarin oh [TS]

  my god i don't really talk [TS]

  up that's your fake Mandarin that [TS]

  sounded like to fool ooh la la you eaten [TS]

  in my neighborhood there's probably [TS]

  there's a lot of like money hands and [TS]

  cthulhu in a lot of the food you don't [TS]

  want this morning speaking of money [TS]

  hands and concealer is this morning I [TS]

  went to that place to place you enjoy [TS]

  here in wichita my god I love that place [TS]

  he's such a sweet guy it's the dirtiest [TS]

  food I've ever eaten I've eaten some [TS]

  dirty food i'm gonna mention them by [TS]

  name because i don't know but i would [TS]

  like you know I've learned a couple [TS]

  things about my neighborhood actually [TS]

  I'd like to share for songwriting [TS]

  espanol [TS]

  so you say that in Spanish he said who [TS]

  espanol [TS]

  yeah on you lo siento most i want to [TS]

  start off by saying lo siento that's [TS]

  less than to just rolls off my lingua [TS]

  hate got one season was a issue yours [TS]

  lo siento primera listing ended second [TS]

  oh so español it's hard i'm sorry i [TS]

  don't come back to your mouth also have [TS]

  a good friend who's living in France now [TS]

  who has a child with a French lady [TS]

  anemia and here [TS]

  well that would be if you had a [TS]

  childhood Spanish lady had trouble with [TS]

  the French lady it's something else they [TS]

  start a war that kind of thing that a [TS]

  media but but I said that so how how's [TS]

  your friends and he said I don't speak [TS]

  French and I said well your daughter is [TS]

  like seven years old now how's her [TS]

  English he said not so good at analyze [TS]

  that [TS]

  so how's that working he said well like [TS]

  a lot of French people my daughter [TS]

  thinks that I'm kind of stupid big [TS]

  French i think by some measures I don't [TS]

  want to sound some callow but by some [TS]

  major she's stupid [TS]

  I think that's purely a French don't [TS]

  think he's just this stupid [TS]

  I mean I think that's pretty fucking [TS]

  download doesn't learn to speak to you [TS]

  know what I'm saying it's like having [TS]

  it's like having a deaf daughter and not [TS]

  bothering to learn how to sorry not [TS]

  different [TS]

  oh that you think i don't know which a [TS]

  deaf child you should learn to sign do [TS]

  you think what else I don't know it's [TS]

  like I don't know I'm remember immersion [TS]

  I don't know [TS]

  because i'm not here to judge that's not [TS]

  matter slices it the deceased Iran's [TS]

  license a deaf child no connection hard [TS]

  that would be on him he wanted to [TS]

  explain something about like what kind [TS]

  of wood was used in the room was [TS]

  recorded in and maybe going to look at [TS]

  the voice but not anywhere Spanish for [TS]

  mouth mouth and talk about your mouth [TS]

  being dry okay [TS]

  poka poka poka poka his mouth Pocoyo [TS]

  well so what [TS]

  what's but mouth in Chinese in fig [TS]

  Mandarin be serious you really wanna [TS]

  know I don't wanna hear it don't do it [TS]

  up and come back to your mouth but don [TS]

  so this place that we go you've been [TS]

  there [TS]

  yeah uh yeah and so it's you know dim [TS]

  sum is a kind of dumpling i know i know [TS]

  people who live on the on the two sides [TS]

  of the country now this but you know [TS]

  it's it's a very popular Chinese like [TS]

  most Americans another was that another [TS]

  anti Oklahoma City joke but you just [TS]

  made no no giving people in the middle [TS]

  of America and everyone can dokie [TS]

  they're good people 10-15 years from now [TS]

  when they get computers and wires god [TS]

  they're gonna get mad [TS]

  uh-oh guys will get wires your mama care [TS]

  at me [TS]

  Thank You wires in oklahoma city I love [TS]

  that some small haggar right [TS]

  ya know get wired be there when they get [TS]

  wires in Oklahoma on fire today it's in [TS]

  flagellation spinach and play go and I [TS]

  drink I drink like a like two [TS]

  tablespoons of coconut I'm like a [TS]

  throwaway I can't drink sweet things [TS]

  anymore [TS]

  oh really you you're quitting pop you [TS]

  know I've been offered for a long time [TS]

  goddammit that So You Think actual like [TS]

  carbonated water in cannes you've been [TS]

  drinking that front mount a sodastream [TS]

  and so I've just been down in those 12 [TS]

  packs from lucky [TS]

  yeah it's crazy it's like I'm on the [TS]

  past again I used to be able drink a lot [TS]

  of beer John I don't you know that [TS]

  I never saw you during your your many [TS]

  many cans of paps phase [TS]

  yeah you know it's weird i have a lot of [TS]

  really problematic things but I i think [TS]

  i might be a you can tell me if this is [TS]

  the kind of things to come up in [TS]

  meetings but like I can just an honor [TS]

  flight today I can't drink beer like it [TS]

  makes me really really tired but I used [TS]

  to be a guy who could just drink a whole [TS]

  lot of beer you know what let's not get [TS]

  into it now let me ask you this as a man [TS]

  in his forties yes is there anything [TS]

  that doesn't make you tired haha man i'm [TS]

  saying my god John that's the question I [TS]

  never would have expected at least want [TS]

  to hear the chatter and laughter you [TS]

  everything makes me tired sleeping makes [TS]

  me tired i know a single thing that even [TS]

  the things that you love the most [TS]

  do they not oh my god the worst I you [TS]

  know the thing is a kid as you know I'm [TS]

  a bad parent and I my daughter I are [TS]

  really super into Star Wars i swear i [TS]

  got like she's she's into it too I swear [TS]

  to god I'm sure I will you know what I'm [TS]

  not being that guy yeah my dad is an old [TS]

  fan shutter a lot of dads out there who [TS]

  are doing some questionable things but [TS]

  and justifying but by saying she's into [TS]

  a2 yeah yeah it's not football [TS]

  this is angela Skywalker totally [TS]

  different help the Anakin Skywalker so [TS]

  one of the things I'm doing I don't [TS]

  don't tell her I said this but on [TS]

  there's really only kind of two things [TS]

  in life that I really if I had my [TS]

  druthers that that she would like you [TS]

  know students i wish you know one of [TS]

  them is not start worse it's really I i [TS]

  really hope that she likes to unite [TS]

  again let me just stipulate this is not [TS]

  me saying I hope she's like me in two [TS]

  ways because I hope she likes to read [TS]

  and I hope she likes music and she's [TS]

  kind of into reading and she's kind of [TS]

  into music and you know me like I don't [TS]

  push her into anything but really she's [TS]

  still a zygote you can't tell what she's [TS]

  got a very of all of my many many [TS]

  problems in life I was a very early [TS]

  reader so I mean it is ok but you were [TS]

  very early reader but there was a there [TS]

  was a there was a decided minimum of [TS]

  other things to distract you right i was [TS]

  also there is very very lonely John so [TS]

  maybe she's got she's got a million [TS]

  things besides reading that she can a [TS]

  million ways she can input information [TS]

  and I think this is this is going to be [TS]

  the fifth card I don't return to this [TS]

  but really I think literacy as a concept [TS]

  is changing i loath to admit that but I [TS]

  really think it's true we should come [TS]

  after that so here's the thing i bought [TS]

  a bunch of star wars books some of them [TS]

  are awesome like visual encyclopedia you [TS]

  know the school DK books they've got [TS]

  about all different things I don't do [TS]

  not know anything about the car wars [TS]

  books [TS]

  John just just just really i don't know [TS]

  a thing about the trying to try and see [TS]

  past your numerous counteracts and just [TS]

  stay with me [TS]

  Nancy Drew Hardy Boys means you really [TS]

  that's what I need to go well she's a [TS]

  little girl Nancy Drew solves mysteries [TS]

  disappear Brown I know but I did 20 what [TS]

  was his name [TS]

  the little boy who solved solved the [TS]

  detective stories and smoke cigarettes [TS]

  and his name was a close family and [TS]

  Socrates oh you have his name [TS]

  you know my keyboard is still dead on my [TS]

  computer I look it up on the Internet [TS]

  written that down here and we really [TS]

  need to talk about that now I mean not [TS]

  because it's about computers because I [TS]

  you're like a man who has a dry in [TS]

  missing mouth at this point [TS]

  yeah I said in front of my computer and [TS]

  I could move the mouse i can click on [TS]

  things but the Internet has been try [TS]

  this at home [TS]

  the internet has been reduced to just [TS]

  things i can click on i can i can add no [TS]

  text of my own [TS]

  this is the funny thing I mean obviously [TS]

  you've always need to type letters but [TS]

  the original Macintosh they designed [TS]

  every application so that short of the [TS]

  times when you had actually make words [TS]

  you you know you wouldn't need the [TS]

  keyboard but obviously if you want to [TS]

  have words and search for things i don't [TS]

  find porn without without typing well I [TS]

  have to go to these i have bookmarked [TS]

  all these automobile sites who are [TS]

  dealing with classic cars and so I go [TS]

  there and then I just have to click on [TS]

  things and hope that if i click on [TS]

  enough advertisements i will click [TS]

  through to some porn [TS]

  I mean ice like that the hundred [TS]

  thousand monkeys yeah right you click on [TS]

  click on the add for motor oil [TS]

  eventually had will find something tank [TS]

  yeah even the on that page you see an ad [TS]

  for you know getting your tires rotated [TS]

  very they call it bubble sorting your [TS]

  kind of going through and you're just [TS]

  saying less is more that that's good [TS]

  that's really good just for that pretty [TS]

  soon it's like oh did you mean get your [TS]

  tires rotated and you're like wow I'm I [TS]

  I don't know what you're saying but yes [TS]

  click and then you're on my like wrote [TS]

  in quotes rotate your tires right if [TS]

  you're ready those kind of like New [TS]

  Yorker ads for like buckwheat pillow and [TS]

  put lights you know you're going the [TS]

  wrong way your tire so I got checked out [TS]

  get out [TS]

  let's get to skate when you skate key on [TS]

  ah fuck boca oh so anyway I got the star [TS]

  wars books and you know she's always [TS]

  saying this day I had had lunch with [TS]

  this the sky is that kind of like a [TS]

  friend of mine is like kind of a hero of [TS]

  mine actually worked on some star wars [TS]

  movies great guy and we're talking about [TS]

  like what you showed your kids because [TS]

  he's got a kid is just a little younger [TS]

  than my daughter and I was saying like [TS]

  you know I accept my bad Parenthood but [TS]

  I I'm really okay with her watching Star [TS]

  Wars movies and pics are not partly [TS]

  because you know what I like them [TS]

  it's not a dora the explorer and you [TS]

  have a deal with dora the explorer at [TS]

  all [TS]

  no my child is is still too young to [TS]

  understand what any of these things are [TS]

  she the only time she's like something [TS]

  that's like saying I just hope I just [TS]

  hope i get her away from mumps and [TS]

  rubella like you proactively get in [TS]

  front I I understand the theory and you [TS]

  know and i have i've spoken to many of [TS]

  my my wired friends not friends who work [TS]

  at wired but i don't want to say cyber [TS]

  friends for cyber friends let's say [TS]

  cyber friends and you know there are [TS]

  there a lot of there are a lot of [TS]

  opinions but they seem to break into two [TS]

  camps one of the camps is I as the [TS]

  father i'm going to curate her digital [TS]

  life so that she gets only the best Star [TS]

  Wars crap and the other fathers are like [TS]

  that uh ten years from now they're only [TS]

  gonna be books so just give him the [TS]

  given the gadgets and let them figure my [TS]

  friends am i think half are [TS]

  ideologically reductive and i think the [TS]

  other half are reductively illogical [TS]

  that is a false dilemma you wanted to [TS]

  know your college you didn't graduate [TS]

  from that's a nice mm i do both I way [TS]

  I'm helping I'm helping I don't want to [TS]

  watch dora the explorer i'm in the third [TS]

  school which is that that until she's 16 [TS]

  or her afternoons are going to be sent [TS]

  been chopping firewood cutting trail we [TS]

  got a lot of trails around here that [TS]

  need improvement to read the Bible I [TS]

  mean like we got it you got to get out [TS]

  there in the woods you got to cut some [TS]

  trail you gotta concentrate i like that [TS]

  term you know I mean you play that up [TS]

  just make that up no customer that's so [TS]

  that's an old that's a whole day old [TS]

  trapper miner 49er have no idea what it [TS]

  means but I can't think of a possible [TS]

  place that wouldn't apply exactly [TS]

  exactly your lines right one right now [TS]

  no you're in line mcdonalds taking [TS]

  telling you come on asshole cut some [TS]

  trail right here with your lady as you [TS]

  do and you say you know what let's let's [TS]

  let's put this one away and cut some [TS]

  trail [TS]

  let's cut the aid baby let's cut some [TS]

  trail like it exactly you want to cut [TS]

  some trail so anyway that's my mind was [TS]

  my philosophy is the only the only video [TS]

  screens that she's gonna see in her life [TS]

  are going to be when she's over at her [TS]

  friends houses where her parents don't [TS]

  understand how life works absolutely or [TS]

  when she's after you've been like [TS]

  indicted or something in that solution [TS]

  the judge is on the other monitor or [TS]

  something like that yeah [TS]

  or when she's trying to get my attention [TS]

  and I'm looking at my phone why they [TS]

  call it social only those things that [TS]

  you don't think she's going to see a [TS]

  screenshot screen time [TS]

  so anyway sorry star wars books that's [TS]

  all the screen time things complicated [TS]

  it really is and you know it's funny [TS]

  though because I sometimes get these [TS]

  cautionary tales I try so hard to not [TS]

  like sometimes in the morning I like [TS]

  look at my computer something i'm tired [TS]

  of waking up even with my coffee which [TS]

  yeah what's the best part of waking up [TS]

  your computer in the morning we got come [TS]

  back to this right now on your card [TS]

  I understand you're doing that John was [TS]

  talking more about you said you stopped [TS]

  for a while you're sleeping better [TS]

  oh yeah the you know I quit drinking [TS]

  caffeine because I anything because [TS]

  anything that makes me have a have an [TS]

  edge over the week I I like to like to [TS]

  try so I see all the people in Seattle [TS]

  that wasn't within within your [TS]

  boundaries within some boundaries within [TS]

  within a few boundaries boundaries are [TS]

  secondarily physical and pharmacological [TS]

  but if i may say you cut a lot of trail [TS]

  with your boundaries you that's just [TS]

  part of a much larger thing that I've [TS]

  been something much larger system i [TS]

  think yeah well I was you know the other [TS]

  day I was at a hotel in los angeles and [TS]

  i was i was we were having a little [TS]

  salon there and there's a there was a [TS]

  fellow there who is a famous podcast [TS]

  Empire type of character who's also a [TS]

  very snappy dresser [TS]

  and he starts to break this is this [TS]

  little mustache boy he started to berate [TS]

  me know what the deal is with that guy [TS]

  because i'm sitting in the lobby of this [TS]

  fancy hotel and I'm dressed in that in [TS]

  at in an outfit that is generally you [TS]

  know what it is like casual cool just [TS]

  wearing your jacket from the prisoner [TS]

  because i was wearing some my white [TS]

  piping South OTT with you what you had [TS]

  some white piping and Syria that reads [TS]

  as the prisoner is that is that what [TS]

  you're looking for [TS]

  oh I it's a hell i always like to feel [TS]

  like i might walk into a train station [TS]

  bathroom and it's actually a portal to [TS]

  wizard school for me might be easy [TS]

  steampunk and I want to talking to [TS]

  mustache make penny farthing and he he [TS]

  starts to break me because I'm wearing [TS]

  white athletic socks with my with my [TS]

  outfit of otherwise of careful [TS]

  discernment and I said well white [TS]

  athletic socks are more than a matter of [TS]

  personal style they are it's a survival [TS]

  students a survival technique and he [TS]

  hugged he thaws and all the people at [TS]

  the table you know gonna fall in that la [TS]

  style we're all wearing clothes that you [TS]

  know that they couldn't survive for 20 [TS]

  minutes in the desert inn and I said [TS]

  listen you never know when the [TS]

  apocalypse is going to come it could [TS]

  come at any time it could come right now [TS]

  while we're sitting here and you're [TS]

  wearing your expensive men's hoser II [TS]

  and she's wearing four-inch high heels [TS]

  and then all of a sudden we're not [TS]

  sitting here with waiters bringing us [TS]

  calamari we are trekking across a [TS]

  waterless burning deserts cape and my [TS]

  white socks are going to wick away [TS]

  moisture and they're going to keep my [TS]

  feet comfortable and one-by-one you [TS]

  you people are going to drop off and [TS]

  become hyena food and you're gonna say [TS]

  now he had he had the white piping on [TS]

  his jacket looked pretty good but it was [TS]

  the White Sox that ended up being the [TS]

  deciding factor [TS]

  is I think you're right and I I'm just [TS]

  thinking I don't know quite how to [TS]

  express my admiration it's nice to be a [TS]

  table with you when the room really [TS]

  changes but it's a nice feeling because [TS]

  it is it isn't leave that you're just [TS]

  simply a disturbing outside of crack [TS]

  it's that youryour you have wisdom as [TS]

  you know i mean as certainly as our [TS]

  listeners now you're bringing a lot of [TS]

  wisdom helping people but you have a way [TS]

  of really reframing things for people [TS]

  and when I can be a little disruptive [TS]

  especially if they can't leave well this [TS]

  is the thing with their second try to [TS]

  run in heels like that that I calculus [TS]

  so it's terrible they have to take them [TS]

  off and then they're in their pantyhose [TS]

  and you can't run across he's burning [TS]

  answer going anywhere fancy house [TS]

  anymore [TS]

  well in any case every time I see a girl [TS]

  with a belly button piercing I say the [TS]

  same thing which is what if you and I [TS]

  need to get over a chain-link fence [TS]

  really fast like do you think your belly [TS]

  button piercing is like how these women [TS]

  you manage people [TS]

  well it might be the greatest opening [TS]

  let me ask you a question excuse me miss [TS]

  let me ask you a question belly button [TS]

  pierced what if we have to get over a [TS]

  chain-link fence and ready to help you [TS]

  know if that gets snagged we're both in [TS]

  trouble and I'm not saying that you're [TS]

  in trouble and I'm gonna because when [TS]

  i'm with you right i gotta-i gotta stick [TS]

  around I gotta fend off whatever [TS]

  whatever devil dogs it is because now [TS]

  you better you come to rely on her [TS]

  well or at least you know I'm not a [TS]

  mount I'm not a monster she might you [TS]

  may know the combination for something [TS]

  you need to be exactly [TS]

  yes and now she's hanging upside down by [TS]

  her belly button piercing from the top [TS]

  of a chain-link fence [TS]

  yeah and I'm then I got to go back over [TS]

  the fence and i gotta i don't know i [TS]

  gotta fight fight off whatever it is [TS]

  that's chasing us [TS]

  it's really you got to think about these [TS]

  things well if you're not thinking about [TS]

  it you will have to eventually right and [TS]

  my wife watch out i kind of watches a [TS]

  half [TS]

  she's more into it tonight and I half [TS]

  watch that show the walking dead it's [TS]

  really good but you know I think I I [TS]

  don't want to get the whole internet [TS]

  zombie thing but I'm just saying once [TS]

  you think even just kind of a little bit [TS]

  about what you would do if you were [TS]

  suddenly surrounded by zombies [TS]

  I think suddenly you're getting a lot of [TS]

  your piercings you know I think you're [TS]

  doing a lot less like harajuku cosplay [TS]

  like with funny shoes and complicated [TS]

  hair that that's not going to stand up [TS]

  well you're gonna be in situations where [TS]

  you [TS]

  you have to make a lot of instantaneous [TS]

  decisions where you you see down this [TS]

  tunnel of the future all the options [TS]

  that you all the branches you might have [TS]

  to deal with and if you're sitting there [TS]

  thinking about a lot about a piercing [TS]

  John M piercings [TS]

  well and that that's why I walk around [TS]

  with that look on my face that I have on [TS]

  my face [TS]

  most of the time which is which is a [TS]

  look that's been carefully crafted to [TS]

  suggest that if the shit goes down [TS]

  suddenly and I'm in an airport for [TS]

  instance and everyone in the room goes [TS]

  from being there like I'm a civilized [TS]

  person in an airport person to being [TS]

  there [TS]

  yeah person as as they transform I want [TS]

  them as they're scanning the room for [TS]

  the person to that for the person [TS]

  closest to them but they're going to [TS]

  either glom onto right or try and [TS]

  cannibalize I want them to look at me [TS]

  and then choose the next person you're [TS]

  not planning your not panicking and if [TS]

  you are the first of all like the city [TS]

  they're scanning their suddenly scanning [TS]

  their everybody scaring everybody phones [TS]

  about to run out [TS]

  they've been writing on facebook there's [TS]

  nothing left that sandwich that they [TS]

  bought in like a triangle applying the [TS]

  triangle I hate the plastic triangle [TS]

  isn't so much a question triangle that's [TS]

  living and and the thing is that's gone [TS]

  now [TS]

  right on the front you're in a room with [TS]

  1600 people answering the MV and the the [TS]

  facade is suddenly gone [TS]

  oh no that the White Sox are off and the [TS]

  thing is all those fucking energy drinks [TS]

  your giant fucking energy drinks that [TS]

  you drank and never made anything good [TS]

  with there are gone [TS]

  the ice is melted and now there's gonna [TS]

  there's going to be had to be some [TS]

  serious decisions you look at one man [TS]

  that room you see the statuesque man [TS]

  that's a little bit like the guy from [TS]

  the prisoner and you're going to think [TS]

  you're going to think twice about going [TS]

  over there [TS]

  yeah that's not the guy who's back [TS]

  you're going to jump on and say carry me [TS]

  out of here you can call or carry Gorp [TS]

  or what kind of body we carry with you [TS]

  in the event of oh yeah I always have a [TS]

  I always have my eye on I got a little [TS]

  pouches I don't reveal too much John I [TS]

  mean for any variety of reasons i know [TS]

  that there are certain things that we're [TS]

  just not gonna talk about in right i [TS]

  hope that i am respectful of those [TS]

  things but i think i think you are [TS]

  you're very good [TS]

  um I mean I'll talk all day about the [TS]

  makeshift makeshift weapon [TS]

  you can improvise I don't know what I'm [TS]

  gonna haha i write it down you can only [TS]

  how to start a sharper image can be [TS]

  someone somewhere in America somebody [TS]

  sitting at a console in a giant tsa [TS]

  warehouse their computer just turned red [TS]

  and when alert alert alert right [TS]

  whatever weapons airport terminal what [TS]

  happens every single time I'm in line at [TS]

  the TSA think i'm watching a little bit [TS]

  of tsa theater and and then and then [TS]

  some [TS]

  a recent immigrant pushes a 50 gallon [TS]

  bucket through a separate lane for the [TS]

  airport employees right and this guy he [TS]

  kinda he just does this kind of like the [TS]

  wave and he's pushing a giant giant [TS]

  giant uninspected bucket there looking [TS]

  at old peoples wheelchairs right to make [TS]

  sure that they don't have munitions that [TS]

  they're taking five year old shoes off [TS]

  and sniffing them [TS]

  that's right I got to I got my I got my [TS]

  man bag touched pretty much that goes [TS]

  through with a 50 gallon bucket full of [TS]

  maybe lard maybe c4 explosive well in [TS]

  like it's just full of garbage like [TS]

  they're going to go through and inspect [TS]

  every piece of garbage going in and out [TS]

  I'm just saying like you know the thing [TS]

  is it's like the right with the [TS]

  spiderwebs catching the wasps buzzing [TS]

  wasps rai got nothing [TS]

  um not another weapons in the airport [TS]

  for example and I blame you for this i [TS]

  found myself and then that is such an [TS]

  important phrase in my life that so [TS]

  often I find myself doing you do find [TS]

  yourself it's it's a passive [TS]

  construction but at the same time that [TS]

  is what happens I want to understand [TS]

  your influence I for some reason i think [TS]

  i took my a.d.d medicine too late [TS]

  I wasn't sleeping well and I woke up is [TS]

  about four and it's an awful period [TS]

  between like oh I really need to go back [TS]

  to sleep which would be a 2 a.m. where i [TS]

  might as well get out which is a 5am no [TS]

  problem for me i can write it with you [TS]

  between those two places it's a weird [TS]

  time and and you know it's like oh do [TS]

  this so I did this thing I almost never [TS]

  do i picked up the ipad and i started [TS]

  reading about trying for the world haha [TS]

  okay and let our clock in the morning we [TS]

  may need to have an offshoot sort of [TS]

  Laverne and Shirley to our happy days [TS]

  but we just talked about Nazis because I [TS]

  gotta tell ya I think there's just so [TS]

  much a world war two in general [TS]

  obviously the Nazi specifically don't [TS]

  even know what angle you begin with is [TS]

  so fascinating the angle i chose this [TS]

  night was to learn more about the major [TS]

  figures right okay you know i'm a nerd [TS]

  very interesting instrument very [TS]

  interested in the essay in general but [TS]

  ice finally sat down and read the entire [TS]

  wikipedia entry for Goering Goebbels and [TS]

  Hitler oh my god and I learned one night [TS]

  only on doing sighs and in again it's [TS]

  like watching The Wizard of Oz it's like [TS]

  I know how this goes but it's so [TS]

  interesting to see it again now that I'm [TS]

  older [TS]

  yeah now now here's why do I mention [TS]

  this because I'm really sorry that I [TS]

  ever met you but also one of them i [TS]

  think i want to say who's a snappy [TS]

  dresser that was gearing during yeah you [TS]

  want me to snappy dresser for a [TS]

  400-pound he's very very happy man have [TS]

  you read about some of his outfits [TS]

  oh absolutely and all medieval hunting [TS]

  outfit with oversized type it [TS]

  yeah well I mean my favorite has to be [TS]

  the you know the his powder-blue Air [TS]

  Force reichsmarschall outfits I made [TS]

  designers own flat [TS]

  yeah he did I was like have you ever [TS]

  seen pictures of during this house is on [TS]

  vacation of gearing is uniform and and [TS]

  it looked like it might have had a [TS]

  preschool in it it was very very large [TS]

  and it it had that you know that fact [TS]

  that fact think it's not simply a long [TS]

  drapey jacket but it has it actually has [TS]

  the shape of a very very large man [TS]

  because I becomes it becomes like a like [TS]

  a tent that might be used in the desert [TS]

  but I like a baseball glove right like [TS]

  if you wear a glove long enough it looks [TS]

  a little bit like your hand and this [TS]

  looks a lot like caring [TS]

  um anyway I think I want to say Hitler [TS]

  who seems like maybe the most troubling [TS]

  of those characters he caused a lot of [TS]

  trouble I don't have you know that my [TS]

  yeah oh yes I mean girls you know these [TS]

  guys are famous right and who was the [TS]

  one that had the cyanide embedded in his [TS]

  tooth i think that might notice on [TS]

  Hillary thought really thought he was [TS]

  gonna get away with it he weaseled out [TS]

  at the end and he dressed up like [TS]

  somebody else and you had a whole bill [TS]

  right exactly have tried to like sneak [TS]

  out now caring like to hang himself [TS]

  relevant United himself in prison after [TS]

  but he SAT through the whole Nuremberg [TS]

  trial he SAT through it all with ass [TS]

  with a smirk on his face and then after [TS]

  they sentenced him to death [TS]

  only then did he kill himself in prison [TS]

  I just can't just rush to get date was [TS]

  like that was like any encourage things [TS]

  like the day before he was supposed to [TS]

  be hanged I mean you heard anniversary [TS]

  of the day the day up they found a [TS]

  minute [TS]

  greenhouses great Holly something in [TS]

  Curtis in reverse he just the he just he [TS]

  just robbed all of us of the pleasure of [TS]

  killing him for vengeance didn't like [TS]

  slipping on Melissa bitch too [TS]

  or was the other guy know is the rectum [TS]

  lot of chatter makka blogger study kill [TS]

  himself in prison [TS]

  one of the guys yeah I think he just [TS]

  died I think he died he died her he died [TS]

  of heart sickness because he realized [TS]

  and was sad he was sad to death didn't [TS]

  just become an herbalist I think that [TS]

  was Melissa bitch he became a respected [TS]

  Ervil herbalist who went here and join [TS]

  us beard should say because he looks a [TS]

  little bit like you all those people in [TS]

  the ball in the Balkans you know they're [TS]

  all just almost anybody in the Balkans [TS]

  the president of any one of those [TS]

  countries could be an astrologer at the [TS]

  drop of a hat you know what I mean that [TS]

  it was into that stuff too [TS]

  i'm using ones with the OG called not [TS]

  more than mythology the shawl or like [TS]

  our cannot arcane was a cult [TS]

  he's very into the occult yeah and [TS]

  pseudoscience John you get a lot of [TS]

  dental work done you've had a lot of [TS]

  dental issues in the past i believe as [TS]

  we speak you have some orthodonture I [TS]

  don't want to my entire life my entire [TS]

  life is like the working script of [TS]

  marathon man that's rough i actually had [TS]

  an orthodontic appointment today and I [TS]

  cancelled it at the last minute and lied [TS]

  to them and told them that I was still [TS]

  in Los Angeles you you finally got into [TS]

  their good books and you fuck that up [TS]

  well because because I just a I'm so [TS]

  exhausted i've had i've had braces for i [TS]

  think a lot longer than I need to have [TS]

  the only reason that I that I've had [TS]

  them for so long as that I keep not [TS]

  following through on all the [TS]

  appointments because it got do [TS]

  adjustments and that's just you just [TS]

  pushing out the project right it's that [TS]

  you've got to have that adjustment for [TS]

  so long before the next adjustment right [TS]

  and i just keep skipping appointments [TS]

  and they're like well we gotta do we [TS]

  have to do it we gotta wait another nine [TS]

  months or something haha [TS]

  have you ever have you ever priced out [TS]

  if you can say and if you can't just cut [TS]

  this out like something like this old [TS]

  however price to having all my [TS]

  stepfather who as it happens with jelly [TS]

  bellies [TS]

  we think about that and I want to read [TS]

  by Himmler my stepfather who by the way [TS]

  was an execrable Serb is a general [TS]

  surgeon my stepfather's a Serb I didn't [TS]

  realize that yeah there's a certain he [TS]

  had to get all he had all his teeth [TS]

  pulled and false teeth big big false [TS]

  teeth like tony robbins a lot of people [TS]

  in the old days had all their teeth pole [TS]

  it just made sense [TS]

  well my mom describes it as like before [TS]

  there was before those dental hygiene or [TS]

  before there was a full understanding of [TS]

  how infection works that the your teeth [TS]

  were the source of all these mysterious [TS]

  infections and people would people would [TS]

  routinely die or have chronic pain [TS]

  because of what was going on in the [TS]

  roots of their teeth and so so dentists [TS]

  and doctors would routinely recommended [TS]

  that you have all your teeth polls in [TS]

  order to like as a health restorative it [TS]

  sounds medieval but actually the place [TS]

  where I the dentist who was nice enough [TS]

  but I eventually couldn't stand going [TS]

  there anymore [TS]

  his mother who is his dental hygienist [TS]

  constantly gave me this article every [TS]

  time I went in about how if you didn't [TS]

  flossing your teeth clean enough to get [TS]

  a heart attack and apparently this is [TS]

  science now is that is that there's [TS]

  something there's something I know it's [TS]

  plaque or whatever but there actually is [TS]

  turns out there's actually some [TS]

  connection between what you're [TS]

  describing here it's not just the dark [TS]

  of your stuff to the question to you is [TS]

  again like so many things i say we will [TS]

  cut this out if it's problematic [TS]

  have you ever gotten I've ever got an [TS]

  estimate on what it would cost to have [TS]

  cyanide or something similar embedded in [TS]

  a tooth from okay it's okay don't say [TS]

  you know what don't say no well here's [TS]

  the thing i have never ever felt [TS]

  suicidal and in the hospital reason all [TS]

  the more reason to have it there it's [TS]

  like Nietzsche says right but my feeling [TS]

  is my feeling is in those moments fight [TS]

  the guards you know what I mean fighting [TS]

  the guards to death like don't sit in [TS]

  your prison cell and take your take your [TS]

  stuff so you're saying that's a pussy [TS]

  way out it's totally pussy when they [TS]

  come for you on that day and they lead [TS]

  you down a peg or karate in a tooth with [TS]

  a small very very thing right [TS]

  happy little wire that you suddenly sick [TS]

  people out of your be to get a point at [TS]

  that danger [TS]

  I mean even in a situation like that [TS]

  where there is no way that that that fat [TS]

  old lady [TS]

  mass Hermann Goering is going to be able [TS]

  to fight these young American guards in [TS]

  this prison castle he should at least [TS]

  give the old college try and you know [TS]

  and then throw himself off a balcony or [TS]

  something but like students cyanide come [TS]

  on and work that's that's the pussiest [TS]

  way this is just like General Grievous [TS]

  in Star Wars who's his are used to be a [TS]

  more organic and asthma mostly a robot [TS]

  with two opposable thumbs on each hand [TS]

  and the dislocated shoulder second fight [TS]

  with four lightsabers [TS]

  but the point is it's a lot like the [TS]

  Nazis because he's a coward ultimately [TS]

  the colored are you telling me that [TS]

  somewhere inside of that General [TS]

  Grievous thing there is some kind of [TS]

  living organism that's the theory that [TS]

  is actually i was reading on wikipedia [TS]

  that he's apparently secretly [TS]

  embarrassed that he's part like mostly [TS]

  cyborg George Lucas expects us to [TS]

  believe that that CGI creation has the [TS]

  heart of a human being [TS]

  got that cough to you Reza know because [TS]

  i never have watched those movies i've [TS]

  only seen them when i'm sitting on an [TS]

  airplane and I look over and some poor [TS]

  kid his dad has put it on a ipad who to [TS]

  try and keep him quiet and I look and I [TS]

  see what is that stupid thing that's the [TS]

  dumbest looking thing I ever saw [TS]

  fascinating coffee now let's to do with [TS]

  Star Wars event then Harrison Ford in [TS]

  American Graffiti did you stop the [TS]

  coffee all at once to taper I'm getting [TS]

  it all at once i could see you being man [TS]

  who pulls your own teeth and you just [TS]

  stopped buying coffee it's not even in [TS]

  the house or did you keep it in the [TS]

  house and have a tempting just to make [TS]

  you stronger [TS]

  no experience the house i have coffee [TS]

  all over the place and I'd like that [TS]

  around just so strong [TS]

  well that's what you have to build that [TS]

  strength you can't you didn't just trip [TS]

  into it [TS]

  this is part of this is all part of part [TS]

  of the larger practice when I quit [TS]

  smoking when I could drinking like with [TS]

  all those things you gotta quit them [TS]

  cold turkey and then sit there with the [TS]

  perspiration dripping down your forehead [TS]

  and really be in the middle of your [TS]

  suffering you have to own your suffering [TS]

  because that is how you feel like [TS]

  exactly what I hold the thing had over [TS]

  you now you have to get to you have to [TS]

  explore every little last corner of the [TS]

  of the power that that whatever that was [TS]

  of the power that had over you [TS]

  to understand what you're quitting you [TS]

  know a lot of people are like oh I quit [TS]

  this or that but I took a bunch of [TS]

  medication during the turn to come down [TS]

  period or whatever it's like no no the [TS]

  comedown period is the soul of quitting [TS]

  something you gotta be in it and and [TS]

  feel like all the nerve endings fraying [TS]

  and feel the headache feel the you know [TS]

  feel the craving and-and-and by like [TS]

  suffering through that then you know [TS]

  what the limits of craving archives [TS]

  craving has limits [TS]

  there's no there's no I mean unless you [TS]

  are a san diego mom in which case there [TS]

  are no limits your cravings but I don't [TS]

  know that reference with you if you're a [TS]

  southern california power-walking mom [TS]

  ha ha yr sea ice is out there power [TS]

  walking around an outfit eyes catalogs [TS]

  and stuff yeah just power walking down [TS]

  to the to the boutique and getting a [TS]

  getting a mani-pedi whatever you're [TS]

  craving is bottom was clearly that's how [TS]

  something that Southern California [TS]

  states and business but realize is my [TS]

  tradition i will not discuss Buddhism on [TS]

  here but you're describing something [TS]

  somewhat similar to that I will also say [TS]

  I'm really fucking glad I never had to [TS]

  guard you at Nuremberg [TS]

  you seem like you'd be a real handful [TS]

  well because the first thing you do is [TS]

  through the whole trial you trying to [TS]

  get inside your guards minds [TS]

  that's right so that they were so they [TS]

  get a little bit of the stockholm [TS]

  syndrome in Reverse where they're [TS]

  guarding you but then they start to feel [TS]

  like I mean I obviously i think the [TS]

  Nazis were deplorable but if I were I'm [TS]

  not so you'd like the stormtroopers in [TS]

  Star Wars i think i think they're [TS]

  they're not always a good shot and [TS]

  they're not that bright [TS]

  a lot of them and I think they're easily [TS]

  swayed by the dark side or in your case [TS]

  bye-bye really just the force in general [TS]

  you have I think you might have the [TS]

  force more than you're willing to admit [TS]

  well I don't talk about the force that's [TS]

  a good idea [TS]

  that's not a good idea but aren't clear [TS]

  on the stormtroopers clones isn't that [TS]

  the whole theory [TS]

  spoiler alert yes that I just learned [TS]

  this recently myself when i made the [TS]

  excursion into those movies as [TS]

  fascinated to learn that I learned about [TS]

  order 66 which is just really is i still [TS]

  have a lot of questions i'm logged in [TS]

  the first end up in the first three [TS]

  movies by which I mean the second three [TS]

  movies or I don't know how to talk about [TS]

  it [TS]

  talk about coffee the original movies [TS]

  there was no mention of that being [TS]

  clones [TS]

  isn't that where am i right isn't that [TS]

  sort of revisionism or or what was the [TS]

  clone talk in the books before the [TS]

  movies you want to bring up religion [TS]

  we're talking about Star Wars gonna [TS]

  bring up religion yes i do be careful [TS]

  buddy you got that you got you got three [TS]

  sources that is dangerously close to [TS]

  electric outlet right now my phone to [TS]

  threaten me with you talking about [TS]

  religion but you know what you could [TS]

  turn that right around and ruin the rest [TS]

  of my afternoon i'm very aware of that [TS]

  you're absolutely right and but you know [TS]

  what this interesting talking about [TS]

  stars and other places no but the truth [TS]

  is he had an idea in mind fairly early [TS]

  on but for example the the secret of [TS]

  star wars that we never mentioned [TS]

  because you never know who might not [TS]

  know the best sticker star wars that [TS]

  idea did not even appear anywhere until [TS]

  nineteen seventy-eight so during a [TS]

  product or after the movie still [TS]

  oh yes they were still just still [TS]

  writing one of the awful scripts for you [TS]

  know [TS]

  yes b-but i just i just read in the [TS]

  newspaper yesterday that the guy that [TS]

  did all the paintings that that [TS]

  established all the look of Star Wars [TS]

  just done with Macquarie alpha probably [TS]

  had arguably the person with the single [TS]

  largest influence on y star wars was [TS]

  cool and look the way it did [TS]

  huge is to keep calm and Starkiller i [TS]

  was going to look Skywalker's name i [TS]

  just mentioned another show we should [TS]

  move on and so you just stop the coffee [TS]

  that didn't get like a little [TS]

  ridiculously when I've done that before [TS]

  I get totally wang headache [TS]

  oh it's the worst you're not just [TS]

  waiting headache but you're psychotic I [TS]

  get psychotic you feel your uh your [TS]

  capillaries right throughout your body [TS]

  you can feel you the one time I had [TS]

  acupuncture I was lying on my [TS]

  acupuncture bed in this room that [TS]

  smelled like lavender and put it like [TS]

  weird [TS]

  bing-bong jazz plan and i'm going to [TS]

  have cucumber water close cucumber water [TS]

  and I had everything I had the whole [TS]

  thing and and and she's but my [TS]

  acupuncture is putting the needles in me [TS]

  and I'm sitting there kind of thinking [TS]

  like [TS]

  this is this is baloney and then all of [TS]

  a sudden I feel you know those diagrams [TS]

  that used to see an old encyclopedias [TS]

  where shows you your circulatory system [TS]

  like the visible mankind Invisible Man [TS]

  stuff for you were all of a sudden you [TS]

  just see the outline of the human body [TS]

  as as as like described by the [TS]

  circulatory system and the nerves [TS]

  mhm also I could feel that it wasn't [TS]

  abstract it was not abstract I could [TS]

  feel it it was it became the primary [TS]

  feeling i had so i would I no longer [TS]

  felt like the weight of my body or [TS]

  whatever I just felt my skin and my [TS]

  circulatory system i could feel every [TS]

  inch of it and i SAT there for a minute [TS]

  or two and I went wow that's a fantastic [TS]

  sensation [TS]

  I'm III don't know what to make of it [TS]

  and I'm i can mold it over and then she [TS]

  starts taking the needles out and I said [TS]

  what are you doing what were you [TS]

  why are we stopping and she said it's [TS]

  been an hour at that must have freaked [TS]

  you out [TS]

  I said what what it's been it's been [TS]

  three minutes and she said it has been a [TS]

  nap [TS]

  it's been an hour and 10 minutes [TS]

  actually we went over and I was like oh [TS]

  ok i don't know what that is [TS]

  I don't know what I don't know I don't [TS]

  it didn't actually help with my neck [TS]

  pain that I've that there's the reason I [TS]

  came here like I walked out with just as [TS]

  much neck pain as i had when i walked in [TS]

  so maybe you who maybe put that 15 [TS]

  needle in like just a micrometer to the [TS]

  side and you connected with my time [TS]

  traveler muscle or whatever but that was [TS]

  amazing and I talked to the streets the [TS]

  streets of vern I think this is a great [TS]

  thing but kind of like taking MDMA it's [TS]

  not a thing that i know there's not a [TS]

  thing that is predictable reliable [TS]

  enough for me to go back do this all the [TS]

  time because I you know you just like [TS]

  you sent me [TS]

  you just sent me through space would you [TS]

  try it again oh absolutely but I [TS]

  wouldn't i do not think based on that [TS]

  one experience i didn't think i would go [TS]

  with a pain in my neck and say hey can I [TS]

  get acupuncture for this pain in my neck [TS]

  because it seems like it seems like it's [TS]

  just like you should go to acupuncture [TS]

  all the time didn't work for adventure [TS]

  or prophylaxis yeah for adventure right [TS]

  i mean whatever that is if you can do [TS]

  that if you put little pins in somebody [TS]

  and make them feel their circulatory [TS]

  system you can do a lot of crazy shit [TS]

  and maybe if it's an 80 year old Chinese [TS]

  man he knows exactly how to do it and [TS]

  and and and you can suddenly flyer you [TS]

  can lucid dream or whatever it is but uh [TS]

  didn't get up early to get up earlier [TS]

  you could yeah you could look at get [TS]

  develop a work ethic but you wouldn't [TS]

  want to start depending on that because [TS]

  you never know one day the airport my [TS]

  collapse and 70 80 year old Chinese man [TS]

  with needles right exactly you're not [TS]

  going to carry him along with myself [TS]

  must put your hand on a wooden beam [TS]

  sometimes then you must be thinking hard [TS]

  about what if this works it works too [TS]

  well right then you're back where you [TS]

  were before [TS]

  well I guess I yeah exactly exactly what [TS]

  I refractive you think that's real [TS]

  I've never done that and i did a website [TS]

  for a chiropractor of many years ago and [TS]

  and like every chiropractor I've met [TS]

  that there's nobody is just a [TS]

  chiropractor like they're all [TS]

  evangelists right and the thing is to be [TS]

  dead honest like I just either so little [TS]

  i needed to understand about [TS]

  chiropractic to make a three page [TS]

  website [TS]

  well and it feels a little tony robbins [TS]

  doesn't get any better is it feels like [TS]

  that it feels like that religion we [TS]

  don't mention because i don't want to [TS]

  get you to sign up for 20 sessions and [TS]

  you will be happier and more secure [TS]

  secure obviously it seems a little [TS]

  fantastical to hook someone up to a box [TS]

  and then tell them how many years of [TS]

  payments are going to need to fix them [TS]

  that seems a little little wacky to me [TS]

  but in this case this guy and the thing [TS]

  is a virus will never read the secret [TS]

  can I just literally beg you to never [TS]

  bring them back up again it's I'm not [TS]

  proud a per se about having been [TS]

  involved in the South self-help industry [TS]

  and it's been something that's being [TS]

  very troubled relationship [TS]

  yeah mentally with that for a long time [TS]

  right but boy I just [TS]

  yeah boy that book makes me and you know [TS]

  in fact that Oprah but like push that [TS]

  book with all that Oprah [TS]

  oh that Oprah coming coming coming this [TS]

  coming this this father the Dumont [TS]

  Network show that Oprah um here's the [TS]

  thing anybody so I couldn't even be [TS]

  caffeine and I felt I felt my [TS]

  circulatory system again [TS]

  oh it was not pleasant it was unpleasant [TS]

  my circulatory system was protesting it [TS]

  was rebelling against me yet [TS]

  second-order Mandarin needles every [TS]

  every little inch right I every look [TS]

  every little corpuscle in my body was [TS]

  saying you want you did what God give us [TS]

  our magic juice you bastard and my [TS]

  friend gets migraines and he's [TS]

  explaining to me and actually it's my [TS]

  shrink about this because I was trying [TS]

  to get this guy some help business is [TS]

  actually like a famous migraine guy at [TS]

  the at the replace regular my shrink is [TS]

  and I he helped you with migraines and [TS]

  apparently and I I don't get this wrong [TS]

  but one reason migraines are so [TS]

  difficult to treat is that they involve [TS]

  three different systems i guess there [TS]

  are other things like this but you know [TS]

  if you've got there's all kinds of [TS]

  things that you can fix with fairly [TS]

  blunt object right if you've got a basic [TS]

  tension headache like taking advil will [TS]

  probably help a little bit but I'm a [TS]

  migraine apparently combines the [TS]

  circulatory system your muscles and and [TS]

  neurology you know your kind of i'm [TS]

  sorry to be getting this wrong tom if [TS]

  you ever hear this but you know what i [TS]

  mean it's not as simple as going to know [TS]

  your neck is too tight so now you have a [TS]

  headache right it's very difficult to [TS]

  get that combination of things fixed and [TS]

  I think that's why people get so [TS]

  frustrated you know what I mean and I [TS]

  mean if you had a migraine [TS]

  no but my mom gets them and I recognize [TS]

  that they are but they're nightmarish [TS]

  that the thing is for me it's like when [TS]

  I when I tried I any squirrely change in [TS]

  diet I i do I very uncomfortable for [TS]

  with any of those diets that mean I [TS]

  can't have coffee with cream or vodka [TS]

  Murnau tequila I really like tequila now [TS]

  but like that's always been found in [TS]

  overtime that's been that's been pretty [TS]

  reasonable for me not my buffet diet [TS]

  choosing on but there are ones like [TS]

  every day like one of those cleanses or [TS]

  something like that [TS]

  I you know there's a while [TS]

  back in the early nineties where there [TS]

  was a there was a restaurant on Broadway [TS]

  called the gravity bar and their voice I [TS]

  wish that were exactly what it sounds [TS]

  like depend we have to get going and get [TS]

  like an extra tenth of a gee your hair [TS]

  well that's kind of that's kind of what [TS]

  it was like you go in and you get it was [TS]

  a raw vegetable bar they would steam [TS]

  they would steam vegetables just for a [TS]

  second you know we could get them wrong [TS]

  but you could also get them like steamed [TS]

  and then with a little side of tahini [TS]

  it's just like a salad bar with the [TS]

  philosophy except except well yeah right [TS]

  exactly a it except that it looked like [TS]

  it was it will look like it was in the [TS]

  future and it only hired the most [TS]

  beautiful like fresh-faced kind of kind [TS]

  of those girls that that have a little [TS]

  bit of a light a light coating of [TS]

  perspiration on fri now I still a little [TS]

  because they're just they glow this come [TS]

  with their wedding without a little bit [TS]

  Brown like slightly darker skin [TS]

  sometimes and so I would go into the [TS]

  gravity bar mean believe me I didn't eat [TS]

  another vegetable in any other component [TS]

  or capacity in my life but this place I [TS]

  would go and I would have these and they [TS]

  were actually delicious meals that was [TS]

  where I learned to drink wheatgrass [TS]

  juice which I love to this day but I so [TS]

  the gravity bar was you know it was like [TS]

  going to a spaceport and sitting in and [TS]

  talking to the beautiful girls behind [TS]

  the counter and eating these vegetables [TS]

  with with tahini and everybody else that [TS]

  was in the gravity bar was also in space [TS]

  with you and that you know i would take [TS]

  would sit and take like a shot of [TS]

  wheatgrass juice like I was in an old [TS]

  west saloon and I was daring all the [TS]

  people around me like come on who's [TS]

  gonna drink with me who's gonna have [TS]

  another shot of wheatgrass youth you [TS]

  know people are like like burping these [TS]

  big gathering their handbags and quietly [TS]

  shopping out in their party and I'm like [TS]

  it I love it it's better than carrot [TS]

  juice in fact give me a carrot juice [TS]

  give me a carrot juice chaser and [TS]

  identidade some girls that work there it [TS]

  was a it was a very it was a it was a [TS]

  very out a productive time there's a [TS]

  lady you we were once I want to visit [TS]

  their lady you've been with for a pretty [TS]

  long time in the work [TS]

  in a restaurant a nice restaurant was a [TS]

  café café con place right around nice [TS]

  cafe nice restaurant cafe again will cut [TS]

  this out of its problematic but is it is [TS]

  it and I getting that a lot of women in [TS]

  your life are people who were able to [TS]

  give you food or drink and a early on [TS]

  the I'm just saying like okay so you [TS]

  didn't go with the Chinese noodle guy [TS]

  i'm guessing you didn't like fine girl a [TS]

  reiki instructor or some of the works [TS]

  tsa it seems like a lot of lot of these [TS]

  people who have been touched by your [TS]

  presence where women who worked in the [TS]

  food service our coffee gallery business [TS]

  well it's true I later on I started to i [TS]

  started to date girls who worked in [TS]

  library science which was a nice [TS]

  thousand nice trend first so they want [TS]

  to help someone is there something they [TS]

  speak with this week softly which is [TS]

  which is nice when you're when you're [TS]

  when you have tendency to get agitated [TS]

  but in any case this gravity bar the one [TS]

  thing as I spent more time there I [TS]

  started to notice that they had a small [TS]

  shelf of books and you know being [TS]

  someone who has never shied away from [TS]

  small shelf of books i started to go [TS]

  over and and you know and ask questions [TS]

  about these books and then eventually I [TS]

  bought one which was about the souper [TS]

  miracle cleanse this is the super [TS]

  miracle class of 25 years ago or [TS]

  whatever where the we're reading this [TS]

  guy's story it was the story of how he [TS]

  went on this fast and a and then started [TS]

  taking these cleansing herbs and out of [TS]

  his body the way he described it was [TS]

  that our intestines and our inner [TS]

  workings are caked with hardened fecal [TS]

  matter which constricts our constricts [TS]

  our pipes until all of our pool is just [TS]

  going through this tiny little aperture [TS]

  because all of this hardened a black [TS]

  bile poo is still in us is like it's a [TS]

  little spackle that fills up every [TS]

  imagination of you got right [TS]

  Wow well said you read it anyway so so [TS]

  coffee is coffee enema guy [TS]

  this isn't coffee and my guy although I [TS]

  did date a girl who who had wheatgrass [TS]

  animals as part of a treatment starts [TS]

  like a bicycle energy when it comes out [TS]

  that she was she was in New York and she [TS]

  doing here candle i tried some of your [TS]

  candle but I felt like it was but [TS]

  there's nothing a q-tip case scam so i [TS]

  continued but in any case so he's [TS]

  talking the story about you know he's [TS]

  sitting in a bathtub and he's is [TS]

  extruding this hard and fecal matter [TS]

  that is like the bicycle inner tube [TS]

  accept pay them it up [TS]

  roofing tar made of like made of like [TS]

  like Carter Administration era beef it [TS]

  there [TS]

  yeah and I'm thinking to myself wow this [TS]

  is this seems extreme this is like if [TS]

  that's really any I'd like to get out [TS]

  and he goes on and on about like and [TS]

  then you know as the stuff comes [TS]

  cleaning off of the walls of your [TS]

  insides it's it's pink life is restored [TS]

  and all and now all you need to do is e1 [TS]

  broccoli floret a day but it's vitamins [TS]

  are transmitted to you without you know [TS]

  like instantaneously and automatically [TS]

  become more efficient become more [TS]

  efficient and he was at and I was like [TS]

  this is incredible i'm really into this [TS]

  but then at the end of the last chapter [TS]

  of the book which i think most people [TS]

  don't get to he talks about the last day [TS]

  of his fast walking up and sitting [TS]

  indian-style on the top of a mountain or [TS]

  something and angels visit him and they [TS]

  tell him that he's a good man and they [TS]

  tell him how to juggle four beanbags [TS]

  tell me how you know like they tell him [TS]

  all these magical things and they tell [TS]

  him that they could only visit him now [TS]

  because his is colon is pink and that's [TS]

  that's why [TS]

  angels don't visit us all because we [TS]

  because they get their primary interface [TS]

  with us is our colon this book this book [TS]

  is just that much more horse shit i [TS]

  doubt any of this stuff happened to him [TS]

  he talked about be talking about getting [TS]

  a tapeworm out where he sat in a bathtub [TS]

  full of warm milk and that's at the cape [TS]

  or lights the milk better and some [TS]

  clothes online its little head out of [TS]

  your butt to drink the bathtub milk [TS]

  and then once he's wants his head comes [TS]

  out you wait you don't jump on him right [TS]

  away [TS]

  you got a real gentle-like don't you [TS]

  know jump on facility will spook him but [TS]

  once he gets comfortable and it kind of [TS]

  sticks little bit more relaxed all that [TS]

  warm milk like I was like oh this milk [TS]

  is amazing sleepy little worm and you [TS]

  grabbed his head and you wrap it around [TS]

  a pencil and Men you're twisting the [TS]

  pencil because the tapeworm is 45 feet [TS]

  long and you have to keep this and you [TS]

  have to keep this pencil with the first [TS]

  foot and a half of a tapeworm not [TS]

  wrapped around it you have to keep it [TS]

  hanging out of your butt or however long [TS]

  for whatever though for the week that it [TS]

  takes for you to gradually whisk the [TS]

  paper mouth you keep crudite near the [TS]

  top to nourish yourself i guess you said [TS]

  in there and you burn that you're [TS]

  complaining John you gotta clean and [TS]

  clear your calendar [TS]

  well either that or if you have stuff to [TS]

  do if you have to go to work or whatever [TS]

  you get out of the tub and you put on [TS]

  those like magic hammer pants haha he [TS]

  could work [TS]

  you sit on one of those chairs with the [TS]

  ceiling charity but never touches the [TS]

  thing and the milk go bad [TS]

  well I think you drink the milk you you [TS]

  may be filled up with smoke a few times [TS]

  but you're like oh what a day at work I [TS]

  gotta get home to my milk bath and twist [TS]

  the blue you know another foot and half [TS]

  of this taken home persuade my tape or [TS]

  so I so I got to that point and and I [TS]

  suddenly guys I found myself sitting on [TS]

  a stool in a in a vegan restaurant [TS]

  reading a book about a guy who had fled [TS]

  like discharge 40 pounds of a but tar [TS]

  and the comment could talk to angels and [TS]

  I was like you know what this whole [TS]

  thing is a scam I'm going across the [TS]

  street to get a bacon burger it's a [TS]

  cautionary tale [TS]

  yeah I mean I I can see the appeal of [TS]

  that and i gotta say first of all every [TS]

  time i hear those stories and and I did [TS]

  have a friend and ex that worked at one [TS]

  of those really loopy far-out health [TS]

  food stores what you're saying that he [TS]

  was in the band X could be could be was [TS]

  named DJ bonebrake is that his name but [TS]

  um but she worked at a place where [TS]

  people were very into coffee enemas [TS]

  they would run off these things for you [TS]

  and you know and the people photograph [TS]

  the thing is do you get deep into this [TS]

  stuff you get even to start [TS]

  photographing it and become something [TS]

  almost like hustler are people showing [TS]

  each other their bicycle inner tubes but [TS]

  see i see you in all of this i see a [TS]

  cautionary tale [TS]

  I mean at this point so I'm thinking of [TS]

  like remember the ads there was a shell [TS]

  ubiquitous shell gas station ads were [TS]

  kids and had the booklets you could get [TS]

  about how to drive safer and stuff but [TS]

  they always were like showing well they [TS]

  may also give you cars gonna give you a [TS]

  little of a little um didn't give your [TS]

  cars that one of those gas stations in [TS]

  the seventies would give you a little [TS]

  haha matchbox something funny like a BP [TS]

  kind of thing I don't think we're always [TS]

  find out let's find out [TS]

  but you see those animations like the [TS]

  Pistons going in and out in this basic [TS]

  animation and they show you how if you [TS]

  didn't use techron in your gas like you [TS]

  get all gummed up i think we have you [TS]

  ever seen the movie emmanuelle i guess [TS]

  i've seen several Emmanuel Emmanuel [TS]

  Emmanuel goes to South Africa you know [TS]

  that's how it was at the during part [TS]

  time I was a little bit later but during [TS]

  apartheid yeah that amanda was black [TS]

  emmanuelle is what it was was always [TS]

  block emmanuelle yeah but he's always [TS]

  manuelle like soweto it's the it's soft [TS]

  core pornography so you so there's [TS]

  there's more much more plot than you [TS]

  want maybe her course often i have [TS]

  Showtime buddy and much more much more [TS]

  plot that you want and not as much sex [TS]

  as you can tell it's kind it's kind of [TS]

  like it's almost like a traveling in [TS]

  English travel documentary that happens [TS]

  to have boobs in it right that happens [TS]

  at boobs but in every tear every [TS]

  instance when they would start to have [TS]

  sex there be all the heavy petting and [TS]

  the kissing the boob kissing which is [TS]

  what happens in sex [TS]

  yes and then they then the the man would [TS]

  mount the the female in the movie [TS]

  particular Emmanuel and they would [TS]

  always cut at that point to either a [TS]

  video demonstration of how internal [TS]

  combustion engine works or a scene of a [TS]

  steam locomotive you know power across [TS]

  the the verdant a belt or one rocket [TS]

  tests and excellent rocket X and and and [TS]

  then that the filmmakers never seem to [TS]

  understand never seem to acknowledge [TS]

  that that that this was hilariously [TS]

  funny like it always because they would [TS]

  back to them kind of having serious [TS]

  you're not making a joke about like a [TS]

  cartoon thing that this was a loser [TS]

  think you got some off-brand emmanuelle [TS]

  but that's not what I remember I don't [TS]

  remember any texture on my fingers later [TS]

  I think these are the later Emmanuel's [TS]

  the early manuals with those more pure [TS]

  yeah it's just they just closed Sudan [TS]

  the boob kissing brother i love that the [TS]

  kissing but the later ones had bad steam [TS]

  locomotives and some some some techron [TS]

  demonstration I think the technology [TS]

  demonstration now in this instance I [TS]

  think that becomes part of our mental [TS]

  model for how it works inside we know [TS]

  it's very confusing we know the poop [TS]

  comes out so it must be all bad news in [TS]

  there i'm not saying it's bad to get rid [TS]

  of that but like you know the holders i [TS]

  was reading one you know you do lemon [TS]

  juice and salt and there's just [TS]

  something about that you know it's even [TS]

  before you get to that last chapter [TS]

  you know it it's a slow soak in a warm [TS]

  milk a bath to get you to that point in [TS]

  the book and then you get to the end and [TS]

  at this point I'm just I'm thinking that [TS]

  ancient shits all that's keeping the [TS]

  Angels off my Mountain at this point [TS]

  like I want that in there [TS]

  I want that impacted you know I i really [TS]

  want to limit the number of angels [TS]

  unknown regardless of how I'm sitting [TS]

  well this is the thing because you get [TS]

  your up on your mountain here come the [TS]

  angels and you're like okay I still have [TS]

  enough presence of mind to know that [TS]

  this is unusual and you know I spent my [TS]

  whole life trying to stay within the [TS]

  within the bounds right [TS]

  like here's the bell curve and I'd I [TS]

  don't want to be one of you too far to [TS]

  the right on the angel felker I don't [TS]

  want to be on the flange in either [TS]

  direction on the angel bell curve and so [TS]

  if scraping the poop out of my insides [TS]

  puts me all the way out on the on the [TS]

  the far end of this I think maybe i want [TS]

  that i want the boot back [TS]

  yeah 11-8 it you know what I mean right [TS]

  part of me I mean how do i how much you [TS]

  know like whether or not I'll be [TS]

  surviving off that poop with the pockets [TS]

  it's all in there you know there's also [TS]

  the I this guy said this gets it like a [TS]

  crayon came out of him a crayon 38 when [TS]

  he was six years old [TS]

  is that how he'd haha [TS]

  you're telling me that crowns but in [TS]

  their 40 years [TS]

  [Music] [TS]