Roderick on the Line

Ep. 24: "The Wrong Mustache"


  hello hi John how are you hi Merlin I'm [TS]

  sorry again Ruben man i hate being late [TS]

  for things i know we were going to meet [TS]

  at eleven eleven now it's 1125 yeah we [TS]

  now but this podcast can be evergreen [TS]

  anymore all right [TS]

  oh geez I like I let a peek behind the [TS]

  curtain didn't I yeah [TS]

  now people realize that it's not [TS]

  happening simultaneously here's another [TS]

  piece here's another peek okay so a I [TS]

  hate being late for things and I'm sorry [TS]

  and our be computers fucking hate [TS]

  computers [TS]

  mhm oh boy now we're on a topic that we [TS]

  both agree on [TS]

  you know I I'm always late two things [TS]

  too [TS]

  we've talked about this many times yeah [TS]

  that you take you nine minutes and move [TS]

  to believe this is what makes the [TS]

  decision makes this such a compelling [TS]

  experience I think for our listeners [TS]

  that people are helping is that we are [TS]

  very different people you know and I you [TS]

  know I mean in some ways very different [TS]

  I'd say we were pretty different yeah I [TS]

  mean you know are we missing anything [TS]

  95% the same as chimps you and I both [TS]

  are 95% the same as chimps no I think [TS]

  it's more than that I think it's 90 I [TS]

  think it's 97.2 a set like a resistor or [TS]

  is that arithmetic arithmetic was an [TS]

  Aramaic an Aramaic scale on its air make [TS]

  your aromatically on Eric scale where [TS]

  97.2 53 actually it's mixolydian oh [TS]

  sorry i thought we're still in 15 time [TS]

  for the fridge and a light called the [TS]

  snake charmer time and we said hello I'm [TS]

  ritchie blackmore it's time to reset [TS]

  your clock that's not even funny you [TS]

  didn't I did he talks like that the [TS]

  American i don't think anybody talks [TS]

  like that the only be able to talk like [TS]

  that our community theater people who [TS]

  are trying to do a British accent my [TS]

  mother and I let my mother is alive [TS]

  directed a lot of place in Rhode Island [TS]

  you did who your mother-in-law my [TS]

  mother-in-law has a pistol you my [TS]

  mother-in-law that was all she is a [TS]

  pistol is oh darling [TS]

  oh how we never met your mother law now [TS]

  she's back you know she's back here she [TS]

  spent some of her time with family in [TS]

  Florida [TS]

  and other times with family around here [TS]

  so actually gonna go see her tomorrow [TS]

  which is really nice [TS]

  yeah we do i will need all be in the [TS]

  same place at the same time she should [TS]

  be a guest [TS]

  anyway you know a lot of people may not [TS]

  know because they have a life and they [TS]

  don't really research these things [TS]

  science science math a lot of people [TS]

  don't know those things [TS]

  everybody likes politics and nobody [TS]

  looks at civics can I just put it on a [TS]

  card [TS]

  oh my goodness that's a great statement [TS]

  mt11i meet your specific spod cast god [TS]

  damn it you're fucking right this is [TS]

  that this is a podcast about how to be a [TS]

  better citizen according to us and I'm a [TS]

  little bit offended when i go on itunes [TS]

  and it says that this is a personal [TS]

  journal file that was my choice would [TS]

  you rather go somewhere else it's yeah [TS]

  civics is a civics category or education [TS]

  religion [TS]

  mm-hmm I'm trying know what we take that [TS]

  up i come on out Patrick siblings [TS]

  personal journal I don't know that that [TS]

  just that sounds very sounds very you [TS]

  know what was that what was that thing [TS]

  that all the kids were doing lateral [TS]

  livejournal that's where I learned about [TS]

  you [TS]

  yeah i know that's where people talk [TS]

  about stuff I never joined a photograph [TS]

  of you before had any idea who you were [TS]

  you're holding snacks [TS]

  you're not alone whoo-ha other people [TS]

  have photographs of me because I because [TS]

  I'm an archetype I represent a certain [TS]

  kind of approachable cuddly bear [TS]

  yeah yeah I got the ball and statue [TS]

  crossing a statue and teddy bear lovable [TS]

  statuesque teddy bear vagina dentata a [TS]

  cross between a gazelle and a catfish [TS]

  whoo-hoo good eatin fish I that's just a [TS]

  guy selfish that's really more of a [TS]

  description of a baseball wife I've seen [TS]

  Richard got used to write about gazelle [TS]

  fish the silvery blue gazelle fish and [TS]

  shellfish development you know what [TS]

  here's the point that there's an image [TS]

  so the selfish belton that's another one [TS]

  of those great unmade not see Jerry [TS]

  Lewis movie about insufficient you go [TS]

  with the making it Boeing I am [TS]

  here's the thing what people may not [TS]

  realize this is an audio presentation [TS]

  but there is an image that is associated [TS]

  with our visits the I think you've seen [TS]

  before so it's a little logo for the [TS]

  show and you remember what that's from [TS]

  it [TS]

  it's a picture of you with some really [TS]

  creepy looking glasses and meet with a [TS]

  bad haircut looking at you and I took a [TS]

  photograph with my feature phone to call [TS]

  it I my flip phone in about 2,000 bone [TS]

  40,000 five and two photo of you and me [TS]

  at the ucsf computer store because my [TS]

  lady got a discount there and we want me [TS]

  about your computer that day that's a [TS]

  photograph of a camera taking a picture [TS]

  of us on a screen and i took a photo of [TS]

  it for no particular reason that was the [TS]

  early days of computers that could take [TS]

  photographs of you [TS]

  no no this was my fault oh yes so [TS]

  there's getting correct tops laptops [TS]

  that had a camera facing you might have [TS]

  been like a security camera a webcam [TS]

  like a copy underwear cam em because who [TS]

  now when week so we went in there and we [TS]

  got you a laptop a laptop computer and [TS]

  then that was a witch i still have to [TS]

  this thing [TS]

  yeah this is all dead now right 10 [TS]

  minutes till it still works with just [TS]

  over in the corner because I got a I got [TS]

  an ipad yeah god you like it [TS]

  well I do like it but I don't like to [TS]

  advertise things understand but you have [TS]

  big if you have really big fingers [TS]

  remember during you i do you remember [TS]

  during the during the the nineties when [TS]

  bands would put a piece of black [TS]

  electrical tape over the fender logo on [TS]

  their guitars because they didn't want [TS]

  to be advertising you can tell that's a [TS]

  fender [TS]

  exactly Oh what kind of guitar is that [TS]

  oh my life is looking up on the [TS]

  headstock it has that headstock that's [TS]

  literally a fucking trademark offender [TS]

  nobody can tell [TS]

  hey sexy jagwire i'm driving a Jaguar [TS]

  but I put black tape over the little [TS]

  fucking cat it's a Les Paul but a but [TS]

  it's yeah i did my camera when you put a [TS]

  piece of black electrical tape over the [TS]

  word casio well I read about this and at [TS]

  first I thought it was a douche thing [TS]

  and then i thought was kind of smart and [TS]

  cool and now i think it might be do you [TS]

  think it's still kinda cool so he knows [TS]

  it's not using shaving cream so the Viet [TS]

  Cong can smell you that it's you know [TS]

  what can I just say it is almost exactly [TS]

  that [TS]

  not really but kind of almost exactly [TS]

  that which is I got an okay nice camera [TS]

  like you know I don't use as much now [TS]

  that I've got the same brand of an ipad [TS]

  yeah [TS]

  entertainment I've had you know we're [TS]

  fucking fanny pack you like such as [TS]

  picture with an ipad i see these dad's [TS]

  running around the playground and we're [TS]

  fairly back right now they're like [TS]

  they're making the world's saddest [TS]

  independent student film [TS]

  yeah you know what you know what sad [TS]

  dad's hazardous helio Aristotle look [TS]

  over here [TS]

  shut up don't you put a piece of tape [TS]

  over your camera so i have an ok nice [TS]

  camera i have have a in SL are like [TS]

  having sex from it's a trump camera [TS]

  isn't it it's it's a camera it's Trump [TS]

  camera my friends your innards disagree [TS]

  i think it's more camera that I will [TS]

  ever need my whole life because my old [TS]

  camera that i loved like that stolen [TS]

  about this one a couple years ago for my [TS]

  birthday party for myself so anyway it's [TS]

  it says it says that it's a it doesn't [TS]

  matter if it's a canon because only you [TS]

  know the fantasies nikon's so that [TS]

  matter but the front of it has the word [TS]

  cannon on it in a number of whitish [TS]

  things okay how about this [TS]

  erotic next thing you know I know you [TS]

  know this we decide pretty sure to [TS]

  discuss this [TS]

  you know about the style of camouflage [TS]

  that they would paint onto I don't get [TS]

  the terminology wrong with warships that [TS]

  the American team it's an incredibly [TS]

  disorienting right [TS]

  can you describe because it's very [TS]

  angular and it makes it very don't spoil [TS]

  the ending but it's a very difficult [TS]

  from a distance to see what kind of ship [TS]

  it is and if their in-group potentially [TS]

  how many there are right right yeah it's [TS]

  gray and white and like very very very [TS]

  diffused colors and giant trapezoids [TS]

  painted on the sides of these ships you [TS]

  know it's like okay I'm up like a [TS]

  Mondrian pain i'm just going to say but [TS]

  with some weird diagonals thrown in [TS]

  there you'd never expect them it's a [TS]

  little bit like when somebody tries to [TS]

  make an extra key in real life you know [TS]

  what I mean you ever see this kind of [TS]

  things really sad [TS]

  we don't want to expect a battleship [TS]

  mondrian get them true [TS]

  our primary weapon on dreams about it i [TS]

  think it already know all modern art is [TS]

  overrated i went to that that Los [TS]

  Angeles a mocha mocha museum of modern [TS]

  art moma mobile app moma i went to it [TS]

  and I walked around and you know and [TS]

  there's they got the jazz [TS]

  pajamas and they got there this is in [TS]

  the bats and I message on true true two [TS]

  flags online on would come on flags on a [TS]

  lot of flags on plywood but all it's you [TS]

  know it's a museum of modern art they [TS]

  had they had had one of everybody and I [TS]

  know that as a as a cultured person as a [TS]

  public intellectual I'm supposed to be [TS]

  what really a public figure as a public [TS]

  figure but we're not just a public [TS]

  figure main lady gaga's a public figure [TS]

  I'm a public intellectual can i find [TS]

  modern art to be a thought crime [TS]

  ok just really quickly I I'm gonna put [TS]

  that over here in the very very special [TS]

  power to just get this out of the way [TS]

  because it's not that interesting and [TS]

  want to be done with it [TS]

  I heard that one good way to keep your [TS]

  camera from being strike quickly [TS]

  stealable this is going to sound crazy [TS]

  it's like the battleships there you take [TS]

  some gaffers tape [TS]

  yeah which unlike duct tape is that you [TS]

  know a matt tape and it's not as like [TS]

  you know sparingly permanent you just [TS]

  take a little bit to this tape and you [TS]

  put it over the logo but you also put it [TS]

  over any like non-black piece of the [TS]

  front of your camera that will happen [TS]

  this sounds crazy but I swear to god [TS]

  it's like the battleships if you saw me [TS]

  across the room and I don't have a strap [TS]

  also because I roll it just looks like a [TS]

  piece of junk camera made out of tape it [TS]

  doesn't take a camera doesn't here's the [TS]

  thing John this is the thing about is [TS]

  the compassion it doesn't read as a [TS]

  camera what you situate Cameron s an SLR [TS]

  so much by that logo with a flash thing [TS]

  could be no I mean and this little I'm [TS]

  telling you so it just looks like a [TS]

  black pop cam that you're holding up [TS]

  here you really look carefully at it you [TS]

  would see it's a camera but does not [TS]

  stick out like these idiots downtown [TS]

  with a little fucking cameras with the [TS]

  plastic lenses on and i'll get a decent [TS]

  interesting so and that's why I did that [TS]

  but now here's the other thing that's [TS]

  cool about that if you are going to try [TS]

  and be take photos on the sly guy is [TS]

  usually a dick like you are much too [TS]

  unlike upskirt photos and now I know [TS]

  yeah I my mom always used to tell me [TS]

  she's to worry about mirrors and she's [TS]

  never heard of mirrors on shoes that's [TS]

  all that's all technology it's all it's [TS]

  all iphones up the skirt and everything [TS]

  is that fiber now I have a good friend [TS]

  that I caught some guy taking a picture [TS]

  of his girlfriend skirt in in a costco [TS]

  and he beat the shit out of the guy [TS]

  right now Hosko yeah yeah yeah just like [TS]

  because he was walking he was you know [TS]

  he was 15 feet behind or whatever and [TS]

  his lady was up ahead [TS]

  this guy's swoops in and with the phone [TS]

  like up the skirt and it and my buddy [TS]

  just did a flying like a flying tackle [TS]

  react like this guy right out and and [TS]

  then big big brawl in the costco in the [TS]

  and that the creep was trying to break [TS]

  his phone and she's it was a whole whole [TS]

  to do well without value pack of punches [TS]

  yeah it's one of my it's one of the [TS]

  great strategy and then seemed to seem [TS]

  to like arm will be like really dirty [TS]

  things for their own sake [TS]

  it strikes me they're like dirty just [TS]

  dirtiness as a thing and it seems like [TS]

  the upskirt thing is maybe they're just [TS]

  the largest producers of this may be [TS]

  subtracted that they have they are very [TS]

  comfortable with fetishizing a youth [TS]

  young people [TS]

  yes the school girl uniforms yeah and so [TS]

  the upskirt photo is this i think is a [TS]

  side is an adjunct of the like little [TS]

  girl sort of panty fetishism who that is [TS]

  so popular in Asia just part of the [TS]

  dirty things though is I'm really not [TS]

  supposed to have this you can't just [TS]

  walk out and go with like you know [TS]

  heiser vending machine working blah baby [TS]

  you can't say things like that but you [TS]

  can like buy panties from a machine is a [TS]

  correct if you heard this you can by [TS]

  panties well you know here in America [TS]

  you can get pennies online you can buy [TS]

  used panties online using your computer [TS]

  using a computer they will come up [TS]

  thanks sure you can next day air i had [TS]

  someone offer to buy my shoes once now [TS]

  cut me off guard yeah you know the the [TS]

  guitar player the presidents of the USA [TS]

  his shoes are it is his old shoes that [TS]

  he spray-painted gold are at the EMP [TS]

  they're one of the displays that you you [TS]

  pay $25 to go walk around and look at it [TS]

  it's like that Paul Island pay to [TS]

  acquire this you know when that when [TS]

  they were first opening the EMP it [TS]

  seemed like they had billions of dollars [TS]

  who well they did have billions of [TS]

  dollars but the but what it seems like [TS]

  at the time was that the grunge movement [TS]

  was going to be just as famous and earth [TS]

  shattering as every rock movement that [TS]

  had come before it right and so here was [TS]

  here was an opportunity for people to [TS]

  buy basically to buy Elvis's shoes right [TS]

  if you could go back in time and bye bye [TS]

  Elvis shoes [TS]

  by jimi hendrix's shirt like a broken [TS]

  strap from those guys for you know you [TS]

  for 25 bucks or whatever again do it and [TS]

  so it was it was a little too soon after [TS]

  the grunge years and all these guys were [TS]

  still standing around a lot of them [TS]

  didn't have any money anymore and they [TS]

  opened up this rocket museum and [TS]

  goodwill guys just get out lately wanna [TS]

  you wanna buy my works think that they [TS]

  said well it's not that they showed up [TS]

  its like the EMP sent 50 people out into [TS]

  the city like going knocking on [TS]

  practice-based doors and saying hey you [TS]

  guys got any can we buy your old guitar [TS]

  your broken guitar that's over there in [TS]

  the corner you know you look over and [TS]

  there's some $25 three-story target sure [TS]

  about that tube screamer it doesn't work [TS]

  I don't 2,000 bucks you know and they [TS]

  were just throwing it down so the EMP [TS]

  has a mute as a huge warehouse full of [TS]

  all this crap that belongs to these [TS]

  also-ran bands that this kind of itself [TS]

  it sounds like a sad good but it's [TS]

  incredible it's I mean it's truly [TS]

  amazing like they bought Soundgarden's [TS]

  van therefore therefore old ford van is [TS]

  it interesting [TS]

  not at all know what that would sound [TS]

  garden should have done and in any other [TS]

  situation would have done is sold that [TS]

  van for five hundred dollars to some [TS]

  fledgling band who drove it until it and [TS]

  caught on fire and then it would be sent [TS]

  to the crusher who and they would [TS]

  survive only in photographs and and that [TS]

  is how history is made but but in fact [TS]

  this van is preserved hit in a [TS]

  hermetically-sealed warehouse somewhere [TS]

  in seattle on the off-chance who that 45 [TS]

  years from now somebody's like oh man [TS]

  Soundgarden's van it's worth of Fort i'm [TS]

  just imagining the docents work there [TS]

  who probably a very thin bones and large [TS]

  glasses and have to walk by and go you [TS]

  know this is pretty much blue man and [TS]

  van but we're pretty sure can fail [TS]

  meeting here at one point that's yeah [TS]

  that's all we know that it's not it's [TS]

  you know I don't think it may be too [TS]

  early to say but i'm i'm going to say [TS]

  that it's but it's never going to be [TS]

  Elvis's shoes you know what I mean no [TS]

  totally and you know part of this now [TS]

  you're [TS]

  you know how markets work right i mean [TS]

  it's it's beyond supply and demand its [TS]

  you know it the whole diamond racket the [TS]

  way that works is that they deliberately [TS]

  produce only so many to keep it kind of [TS]

  scarce right so in this case you're not [TS]

  even trying to make scarcely had [TS]

  diamonds you're making scarcely out of [TS]

  like Kleenex boxes right now and I think [TS]

  when hard times coming to someone i just [TS]

  read about somewhat some museum just [TS]

  acquire something really squirrely and I [TS]

  forget what it is but you know the thing [TS]

  is if you fall on hard times it becomes [TS]

  like like trading trading pogs a [TS]

  pokémon's 45 Boggs it's like training [TS]

  training pokémon's no fucking line is I [TS]

  know it's a card game with angles to try [TS]

  him on that strain it so no it's like [TS]

  beanie babies people invested a lot of [TS]

  money and just like the tulips exactly [TS]

  beanie babies and then it got so big it [TS]

  was like the tulips everybody was buying [TS]

  and I wouldn't know who I went to I went [TS]

  to I one of these a state sales one time [TS]

  and walking through this house and in [TS]

  the back of the house there's an entire [TS]

  bedroom just full of beanie babies like [TS]

  they've built rat they built the giant [TS]

  industrial strength shelves and bins and [TS]

  bins and bins of beanie babies [TS]

  oh my god it's way over there nicely [TS]

  displayed or was it just dawned on me [TS]

  that it was it was a it was clearly a [TS]

  hoard it was less a collection of marble [TS]

  horde and these people because it was an [TS]

  estate sale obviously they were old [TS]

  people [TS]

  mhm and they had hoarded these beanie [TS]

  babies thinking that that they were [TS]

  going to be worth a ton of money you [TS]

  know this was their retirement this this [TS]

  room there were 10,000 beanie babies in [TS]

  another phrase a sunk cost fallacy you [TS]

  ever heard the term and these [TS]

  enlightened expand point you keep [TS]

  sending me these books about economics [TS]

  and what what what what wait a minute [TS]

  wait a minute [TS]

  not what but you know no I'm like the [TS]

  opposite of that guy now now I'm [TS]

  suspicious of that guy the tipping point [TS]

  guy [TS]

  oh you were you were higher you are an [TS]

  evangelist just hang on one minute right [TS]

  you know what I want to get back to [TS]

  public intellectuals and RG know there's [TS]

  only one place in America where diamonds [TS]

  turns out of that's my phrase that sums [TS]

  up everything I fucking hate about this [TS]

  stuff is some guy gets up there turns [TS]

  out and like he's like he's discovered [TS]

  something amazing like you know any [TS]

  colors you want builders matter the TED [TS]

  Talks all brother i'ma tell you start [TS]

  i'm gonna tell you I can tell right now [TS]

  that you are mad at TED talk i'm gonna [TS]

  tell you a funny story i can tell you on [TS]

  the program but it's it's it's pretty [TS]

  fun here's the thing now [TS]

  yes you are correct i do the right ask [TS]

  you to do at dog know they have it and [TS]

  Hodgman kept kept saying he was going to [TS]

  try and get me in there he never did you [TS]

  know I you know I would do that for him [TS]

  you know well it's harder than it looks [TS]

  your people in there because you know [TS]

  it's all deranged billions in there is [TS]

  good point it's a good point you know I [TS]

  now people like they go to the Ted [TS]

  what's the other ones that was a big do [TS]

  she won the in like Switzerland the data [TS]

  so davos Christ they'll let anybody in [TS]

  there [TS]

  yeah you know a friend of mine a friend [TS]

  of my want to ask a question one time at [TS]

  Ted and it was actually really smart and [TS]

  make stuff she's like we wanted to ask [TS]

  you wanted to ask questions when she did [TS]

  it was during like a time when people [TS]

  could make remarks about something and [TS]

  she totally cock-blocked by cameron diaz [TS]

  ah her question this is my friend who's [TS]

  made a company that makes products i [TS]

  used to use on your site for example [TS]

  like she made something really important [TS]

  and like she and she got caught for [TS]

  Cameron Diaz to get up there and I don't [TS]

  know maybe I'm not a fan of caribbean we [TS]

  talked about this is a problematic [TS]

  um anyway about the diamonds you can't [TS]

  the problem is i think when your Museum [TS]

  falls on hard times or even if you're [TS]

  just trying to get a new prague you can [TS]

  do things like trades like assuming that [TS]

  you don't have a bunch of Nazi art [TS]

  somebody wants back you've got things [TS]

  and you hold it like if you've got to [TS]

  say what you will about any more [TS]

  hallways kids kind of interesting [TS]

  project you know if you've got you [TS]

  discover you think if we used to scratch [TS]

  off some paint you discover you got a [TS]

  van Gogh or something to hang onto that [TS]

  you traded i'm just saying i don't think [TS]

  i don't think that much currency in the [TS]

  beanie babies of the grunge era that's [TS]

  not gonna that's like I retain their [TS]

  value [TS]

  no but you know I was honestly I feel [TS]

  that way about about all modern art [TS]

  ok let's go look [TS]

  but for now where can I just be clear [TS]

  contemporary or modern art where's your [TS]

  line for this [TS]

  oh yeah i'm going to say any are made [TS]

  after tonight [TS]

  tee hee ok mm I don't know what I'm a [TS]

  fan of Jackson Pollock i will say is [TS]

  just one information question and this [TS]

  is not in any way to guide the [TS]

  discussion as you know but give any [TS]

  fucking idea what you're talking about [TS]

  or just be prepared to not along as you [TS]

  talk out of your ass [TS]

  you know I got into a huge argument at [TS]

  the University of Waterloo every answer [TS]

  everything which is that you know if you [TS]

  go to if you go around Europe there are [TS]

  there are there are monuments to world [TS]

  war two all all around Europe and as you [TS]

  can imagine and there and it's not just [TS]

  burned buildings and destroyed churches [TS]

  there monuments that artists have made [TS]

  and there are monuments to world war one [TS]

  also all over your in Flanders Fields [TS]

  they're very into that in Canada they [TS]

  are and where you are please [TS]

  the the monuments to world war one are [TS]

  invariably a very tall obelisks that [TS]

  have a a bunch of figures arrayed around [TS]

  the base i generally some some guys that [TS]

  heroically holding up their bayonets or [TS]

  some you know some nurses tending to the [TS]

  wounded maybe a at the big monuments [TS]

  have like some horses on them some guys [TS]

  maybe somebody's holding a holding their [TS]

  rifle aloft you know they're like [TS]

  monuments that have been made to war for [TS]

  a thousand years because there's [TS]

  somebody in a tri-corner hat holding his [TS]

  sword up and an obelisk and it says to [TS]

  our glorious yourself you're honoring [TS]

  your honoring the sacrifice in a very [TS]

  dignified way of these people who ya now [TS]

  in general world war two monuments [TS]

  around Europe and in America tend to be [TS]

  a giant stone doughnut on some kind of [TS]

  ellipse and with with no words on it or [TS]

  if there are some words on it you know [TS]

  it's it's some like up something obscure [TS]

  in Latin and uh and and this doughnut [TS]

  the stone donut [TS]

  or a stone egg uh it became this motif [TS]

  for world war two monuments because [TS]

  because the the world's mind had been [TS]

  infected with the with a the plague of [TS]

  modern art and it was thought that this [TS]

  doughnut better represented the [TS]

  sacrifice of however 40 million people [TS]

  died in the war that it was so that was [TS]

  such an incredible war and there were [TS]

  some so many lives lost that we could [TS]

  not represent those lives figuratively [TS]

  the only thing that made this large [TS]

  grant-in-aid the only thing they could [TS]

  do it [TS]

  the only thing that could capture our [TS]

  imagination was this was a giant donut [TS]

  and and holocaust monuments are even [TS]

  worse because it's it's even more [TS]

  inconceivable know what happened in the [TS]

  Holocaust right and so the donut is even [TS]

  more like generally a holocaust monument [TS]

  is a fracture donut right a donut that's [TS]

  been that's like kind of crack in it but [TS]

  it could be in that case you're moving [TS]

  into a more heavy-handed kind of [TS]

  abstract nonsense right exactly its [TS]

  abstract nonsense but they couldn't [TS]

  really let the abstraction live on its [TS]

  own and so they had to put a crack in it [TS]

  because then they had a little bit a [TS]

  little bit of actual realistic symbol is [TS]

  a minute and i want you around walking [TS]

  around Europe all these years I came [TS]

  back to the University of Washington was [TS]

  like I was in some seminar and I stood [TS]

  up and he said modern artists crap at [TS]

  all all modern artists crap and as [TS]

  exhibit a I submit this slideshow of [TS]

  world war two Holocaust donuts that haha [TS]

  I find personally offensive I find that [TS]

  you're not they do not symbolize the war [TS]

  they do not honor the dead this is not a [TS]

  bagel [TS]

  oh that's a terrible thing to say no I'm [TS]

  i'm pretty sure it's not a fractured [TS]

  bagel [TS]

  ah yeah okay so then you get to Vietnam [TS]

  and what did they get they got like what [TS]

  is a big letter V I gotta they got a [TS]

  black letter V in a lawn but at least it [TS]

  has names on now see how do you feel [TS]

  about letters and words I i think you [TS]

  know i think this started with fucking [TS]

  Philadelphia and the big love sculpture [TS]

  people fell back in love with words [TS]

  there's a phrase i try to avoid actually [TS]

  used in about words as art well words as [TS]

  way to basically provide a giant [TS]

  footnotes what the fucking thing means [TS]

  did you get if you better if you get a [TS]

  guy not a pietà exactly but the the war [TS]

  version of a PHR one pietà you get like [TS]

  a guy in one of those identifiable will [TS]

  work one helmets like holding up holding [TS]

  his body as he dies right that's [TS]

  incredibly fucking moving can be if it's [TS]

  sculpted well and it does not need in in [TS]

  like giant times new roman have to say [TS]

  sacrifice on it [TS]

  oh right exactly well that is the [TS]

  problem with world war one monument is [TS]

  that they that they actually go around [TS]

  and every panel says loyalty or finality [TS]

  and what war one you say well yeah but I [TS]

  mean all those I mean all called a [TS]

  figurative art you know how reluctant to [TS]

  talk about the Holocaust but i'm going [TS]

  to send you a link here in the robot and [TS]

  this is this is actually you know i can [TS]

  write this down come back to this phrase [TS]

  the exception that proves the rule [TS]

  because i think that might not make any [TS]

  sense [TS]

  this is I assume some exception that [TS]

  proves some rule this is a place that [TS]

  I've been in Miami that is really moving [TS]

  and incredibly fucking scary and freaky [TS]

  em are you there [TS]

  everything okay so this is called the [TS]

  holocaust memorial of the Greater Miami [TS]

  Jewish Federation and it is it's it's [TS]

  weirdly well done and it is super duper [TS]

  creepy [TS]

  so you can see the primary figure is a i [TS]

  don't know how many feet would you say [TS]

  probably about a 30-foot high 31 high [TS]

  human hand without all around and the [TS]

  arm is like from the wrist to what would [TS]

  be the elbow is is just all like [TS]

  desperate skinny people clinging it [TS]

  would you say that's pretty horrific i [TS]

  mean there it gets it gets to the flavor [TS]

  gets the flavor but then there's also [TS]

  like these frozen figures they're almost [TS]

  like Pompeii now I don't know that it's [TS]

  so emotional that like I can see why you [TS]

  would do that they're it but I mean in [TS]

  that case I mean that's this gives you a [TS]

  sense [TS]

  it don't you say obstructing an abstract [TS]

  way but that's very emotionally [TS]

  compelling what I worry about is going [TS]

  away that donors not no absolutely not i [TS]

  mean you know eatin you [TS]

  I'm just saying like if you get too [TS]

  abstract with this stuff and you get in [TS]

  you get into the donuts and in the eggs [TS]

  and the v's I don't know he had a water [TS]

  feature [TS]

  I mean oh yeah water feature is nice do [TS]

  you like water features [TS]

  well water feature reflects the donut in [TS]

  the sky and it causes you to really [TS]

  really think about it [TS]

  oh I don't know what's causing it to [TS]

  reflect and think about it then you see [TS]

  it reflected in the pool and you're like [TS]

  oh right yeah even washington DC yes um [TS]

  i have been to Washington DC [TS]

  well you're always fucking talking about [TS]

  the Baltics in Romania I've been all 56 [TS]

  sounds like I've been to every [TS]

  metropolitan area outer banks now I get [TS]

  it [TS]

  I am never we're married me and my [TS]

  little dog drove around in my camper [TS]

  truck and saw everything in America it [TS]

  sounds like an NBC show from 1978 I am [TS]

  Charles Kuralt now like I'll well-known [TS]

  dog's name was like fluffy or keep it [TS]

  was a call a Roderick and the dog i have [TS]

  been the jet truck [TS]

  I've been everywhere man button and say [TS]

  Claire man you know that he is from [TS]

  Canada who tanks know the man who wrote [TS]

  I think wrote and sings that song and [TS]

  you know a lot of great importance of [TS]

  Canada some of our best Americans are [TS]

  actually from can be very surprising [TS]

  news from Canada's Sloan the band [TS]

  Sloan's from Canada is there a lot of [TS]

  great Americans from from canada and I [TS]

  you know when I meet someone from Canada [TS]

  I don't hold it against them because not [TS]

  immediately could be they could be a [TS]

  great American for all I know [TS]

  yeah the money didn't take a look a [TS]

  sense i'm going to get money when you [TS]

  know what I like the coin so i have to [TS]

  tell you I like a tuning i like i like a [TS]

  coin [TS]

  here's what I used to love about [TS]

  canadian money it was a it was super [TS]

  cheap and your dude first time i was [TS]

  there is a dollar it was one dollar 66 [TS]

  American to up to a loony and here's [TS]

  what I hate about commit a canadian [TS]

  money now it is super cheap it's just if [TS]

  it feels really fucked up that they're [TS]

  doing as well as us to really be wrong [TS]

  super depressant they're nice people [TS]

  though they're super nice people [TS]

  here's the reason i asked like there are [TS]

  a lot of serial killers up there no [TS]

  really yeah you didn't know about those [TS]

  two guys in vancouver that owned a pig [TS]

  farm and they and they a little lady pig [TS]

  doing lady take stuff [TS]

  no no it wasn't lady pigs they would [TS]

  have big parties out of their big farm [TS]

  where they invite all the prostitutes [TS]

  from Vancouver and then they would do [TS]

  bad things and serial killers too and [TS]

  they would kill these girls and then [TS]

  feed them to the pigs and then I [TS]

  interpretation british columbia [TS]

  yeah it was in vancouver yeah and then [TS]

  they would sell the bacon back to this [TS]

  to the to the undisciplined just watch [TS]

  your movie there's no way that is real [TS]

  yeah that they like the unknowing [TS]

  citizens of vancouver we're eating their [TS]

  met because you know and canada of [TS]

  course they have seven flavors of bacon [TS]

  all the vacancy at a hooker bacon [TS]

  well this is hooker bacon they had a [TS]

  little they're selling hooker bacon to [TS]

  him for four years because because that [TS]

  because prostitutes were disappearing [TS]

  off the streets of Vancouver for years [TS]

  because it seemed like once you saw like [TS]

  me go into a van and not come back like [TS]

  you would think twice about going into a [TS]

  van with a bunch foot and all these [TS]

  creeps and these guys were creeps too [TS]

  they were you can just look at you they [TS]

  were creeps but they would have these [TS]

  huge parties these huge like prostitute [TS]

  parties prostitute junkie parties out of [TS]

  their pictures it started out fun [TS]

  oh I think for a lot of people it was [TS]

  all it was always fun but so so one [TS]

  person doesn't make it back [TS]

  oh I get it you're just ok so I'm sorry [TS]

  I apologize i thought it was like [TS]

  punctually I thought they came into some [TS]

  shoot because they thought it was a [TS]

  party they dropped a tiger trap and they [TS]

  end up in some hooker bacon you're [TS]

  saying that a lot of times you're going [TS]

  to have fun you bring your friends back [TS]

  it's a pyramid scheme [TS]

  yeah right you're like oh man there's [TS]

  always dollies drugs and there's lots of [TS]

  hookers and we got to this big farm and [TS]

  it's a blast and then everybody else [TS]

  goes home except for one hooker make it [TS]

  back and then each time but nobody ever [TS]

  puts it together because in vancouver [TS]

  they were adopting a policy of let's [TS]

  pretend that hookers don't exist so [TS]

  that's not good now for a long time they [TS]

  had that policy now I think they have [TS]

  the whole like oh we're watching [TS]

  Barker's now because we lost this is [TS]

  awful you know what you're not making [TS]

  stop no no it's terrible it wasn't very [TS]

  long ago and the thing and and and you [TS]

  know the northwest likes to produce [TS]

  serial killers and so these guys in [TS]

  Vancouver and the Green River Killer [TS]

  were operating somewhat there what was a [TS]

  ton of overlap but they were both out [TS]

  roaming around at the same time and [TS]

  there's there's some question about [TS]

  whether there was ever whether they knew [TS]

  each other a minute I don't know that's [TS]

  exactly what it says that guy storm a [TS]

  stereo just that we've got better [TS]

  reporting tools i want this doesn't seem [TS]

  like we go through times where suddenly [TS]

  like you know for example turns out [TS]

  supposedly there's a lot fewer child [TS]

  abductions today than there were in the [TS]

  forties per capita it's just that it's [TS]

  heavily like over-reported I don't know [TS]

  if that's accurate but in this case it [TS]

  seems like we had a real Golden Age of [TS]

  brutal serial killers in the last like [TS]

  60 years when was that game see the [TS]

  fifties sixties yeah fifties I think you [TS]

  know I used to read games car you see [TS]

  gains car was abandoned by a TMP what [TS]

  would it take to know that Paul Island [TS]

  has finally gone too far [TS]

  it's the incidence rate music project [TS]

  and science fiction museum and serial [TS]

  killer warehouse he wants something like [TS]

  the motor museum but like much more [TS]

  personal something Willie I I wonder [TS]

  about this about the the weather whether [TS]

  there were always I mean clearly there [TS]

  were always serial killers and mass [TS]

  murderers right but whether or not I [TS]

  kind of think that in a mean Jack the [TS]

  Ripper being one example he was very [TS]

  public but if you owned a pig farm in [TS]

  1805 and you were abducting hookers [TS]

  which obviously their workers in 1805 [TS]

  because it is the oldest profession pig [TS]

  farming no hookers okay um you could [TS]

  always go find hookers and there were [TS]

  always big farm and the temptation is [TS]

  always there probably well well no I'm [TS]

  just saying like you you have a lot to [TS]

  take care of on a pig farm you have [TS]

  slopping in the slapping of watering you [TS]

  already were talking about the on the on [TS]

  the bell curve of human being and [TS]

  farmers farmers are busy they got a lot [TS]

  to do they don't have time to run into [TS]

  town and get people magazine they got a [TS]

  really think it through they gotta have [TS]

  something could have lunch and I'm just [TS]

  saying I don't want I don't want to be a [TS]

  you know [TS]

  an insensitive here but I'm just saying [TS]

  if you can improve your bottom line by [TS]

  throwing some sex workers in your meat [TS]

  I mean I would never do that oh yes when [TS]

  you're saying that that some of their [TS]

  motivation might be that it was cheap [TS]

  pig food and I never say anything [TS]

  agrarian I don't know much about it [TS]

  I'm yeah i think it was much more than I [TS]

  think it was what boo i think that [TS]

  feeding it to the pigs was an [TS]

  afterthought they did that on Deadwood [TS]

  you know what's weird about this i'm [TS]

  reading about Robert just right for our [TS]

  listeners who don't have the internet [TS]

  it's robert pickton also known as the [TS]

  pig farmer killer and he's a he's a [TS]

  farmer killer [TS]

  I sure got that pretty close tonight [TS]

  yeah I think that's a on but there's a [TS]

  big black album and so he's 62 now he's [TS]

  a he stole he's still doing fine he's in [TS]

  for life but here's what's interesting [TS]

  is number of victims six 249 that's [TS]

  making such a big surprise 62-49 is a [TS]

  big fucking spread it could be still be [TS]

  some bacon out there that is fucked up [TS]

  that is so fucked up [TS]

  oh but I don't see I don't know I don't [TS]

  know much about the eighteen-hundreds [TS]

  yeah and and farmers in general today [TS]

  starts to farming seems very scientific [TS]

  you know but back then you know I think [TS]

  for a lot more of yourself into it and [TS]

  potentially a prostitute's well this is [TS]

  the thing that they did in the old days [TS]

  like you would have you eat it clear [TS]

  hundred acres right and then you'd have [TS]

  you have a three sons and one of them [TS]

  you'd send in the art well let's say you [TS]

  had five sons one of you send the army [TS]

  level in one of somebody's going to a [TS]

  couple we're gonna die right [TS]

  sure one of them is that the gay one is [TS]

  going to become a priest and and then [TS]

  you've got a couple sons and so you had [TS]

  a hundred acres now you have to give [TS]

  each Sun 50 acres and that you know the [TS]

  daughters like who knows what happens to [TS]

  them they marry somebody sticks in the [TS]

  possible way [TS]

  yeah so then you two sons have 50 acres [TS]

  then those guys have five sons and they [TS]

  send the gay ones into the ministry and [TS]

  the and 12 the army and but eventually [TS]

  the their farms get split up and that [TS]

  pretty soon everybody's got 20 acres and [TS]

  then everybody's got five acres [TS]

  hmm you know a 45 generations down the [TS]

  road everybody's trying to make a living [TS]

  off of these these little little cut up [TS]

  little teeny farms [TS]

  and and and that's kind of that that's [TS]

  the portland oregon model right if you [TS]

  had five acres in portland oregon you'd [TS]

  be the king of the town because you'd be [TS]

  making artisanal pigs and you'd be [TS]

  feeding them artisanal prostitutes or [TS]

  whatever it is that happens down there [TS]

  small-batch they call it but a small [TS]

  batch right small-batch sex workers [TS]

  oh ok first term is sex for sex worker [TS]

  but so then industrialized farming came [TS]

  in and they animate and they took all [TS]

  these farms they bought all cheap huh [TS]

  and they they took all the fences down [TS]

  and then they just had have robots [TS]

  making food now almost the car goes from [TS]

  India can't really call you literally [TS]

  call them in bangalore it's much more [TS]

  expensive to fly them over and feeding [TS]

  pigs that is my voice which I voice over [TS]

  IP which helps a lot [TS]

  I can talk to the pigs and my name is [TS]

  Sandra I'm enjoying volleyball uh hook [TS]

  of bacon and here's the thing i want to [TS]

  go in two directions if I'm a John I [TS]

  want to get back to this up your art [TS]

  problem if we don't pass on to move past [TS]

  that trick sugar i'll talk about [TS]

  whatever thoughtcrime modern art is all [TS]

  day [TS]

  I mean I know I'm just antagonizing [TS]

  people but that's really one of my [TS]

  favorite things to do [TS]

  well I don't want to talk about this [TS]

  diamond mine in Arkansas though you have [TS]

  me thinking about diamonds I don't know [TS]

  anything about the Arkansas has got a [TS]

  time in mind well that's the only place [TS]

  in America where there's a diamond mind [TS]

  it's in Arkansas and you can actually go [TS]

  there and sift through the rocks [TS]

  yourself like like like you go to the [TS]

  museum and look for geodes yeah where [TS]

  you go pan for gold in the Yukon at the [TS]

  pan for gold museum but you can go to [TS]

  this Arkansas diamond mines the people [TS]

  are represented by numeral for 10 for [TS]

  gold pan for gold [TS]

  Pat dig for diamonds but apparently some [TS]

  very recently some guy discovered a six [TS]

  carat yellow diamond 6 carats is a lot [TS]

  of carrots [TS]

  yeah at this like at this a search [TS]

  search for yourself a diamond mine in [TS]

  Arkansas what characters like Joe get to [TS]

  pick your own apples kind of shit and he [TS]

  finds expression six carat diamond I [TS]

  think so [TS]

  holy shit that really changes the whole [TS]

  revenue model it's not about selling [TS]

  t-shirts and marmalade anymore you're [TS]

  going to some fucking Rock [TS]

  I'm thinking every tour I do from now on [TS]

  we're gonna wrap [TS]

  through Arkansas and spend a day at the [TS]

  at the diamond mine they're trying to [TS]

  pay for the whole pay for the record you [TS]

  know you could probably run some basic [TS]

  figures you could do a microsoft [TS]

  microsoft excel the computer thing you [TS]

  could probably figure out like what what [TS]

  the chances are shoma canceled the gala [TS]

  cigar in the backbone of hundred-dollar [TS]

  bills might try and fuck you you're [TS]

  you're gonna have to balance that [TS]

  happens in the entertainment business [TS]

  you know if you seems to me you have a [TS]

  very small band people keep quitting but [TS]

  if you got enough people if you got like [TS]

  what like Donkey you got one of those [TS]

  like 10 person bands or you know like [TS]

  what was the one with the Andrew Berg I [TS]

  remember that the red band they were [TS]

  good you see them for the cauldron hot [TS]

  chili peppers or together they were they [TS]

  were really good the village school in [TS]

  the strippers will never fucking great [TS]

  man down here about to hear a thing [TS]

  about diamond mining if you have a [TS]

  10-person band you literally need to [TS]

  mine diamonds [TS]

  oh I don't keep everybody in macro you [TS]

  know how people smoke is this is this is [TS]

  why you look at people like Billy Bragg [TS]

  and jonathan coulton you go that that's [TS]

  why those guys have so much demo rides [TS]

  right they're going to get our backline [TS]

  you go in there and there's already [TS]

  stuff that got a PA you can plug right [TS]

  in [TS]

  Billy Bragg last time I saw me is find a [TS]

  white helicopter but they don't take [TS]

  white helicopter why doctor was it like [TS]

  a when you play my red-eyes copter [TS]

  iphone branded but why now look after ya [TS]

  yeah because you know is is he's raking [TS]

  it in he's making the making the big [TS]

  dollars if you see if you sing if you [TS]

  sing songs about socialism long enough [TS]

  you're gonna make some serious coin [TS]

  I forget to put up three albums or three [TS]

  books before you make serious money or [TS]

  three so well about social three out [TS]

  here before you hand books about [TS]

  something very right that you're rolling [TS]

  in the dough and then Johnny Marr starts [TS]

  calling nothing wrong with that [TS]

  well I don't you contrast that with the [TS]

  arcade fire everybody thinks all these [TS]

  guys are making a ton of cash but [TS]

  there's 50 people on stage to literally [TS]

  begging not to mention them again they [TS]

  have to pay for the hurdy-gurdy tuner [TS]

  they have to pay for the other going to [TS]

  get their their helmets tuned for the [TS]

  dragon gonna get a helmet tuner by the [TS]

  time it's all done those people are [TS]

  making like 15 gravy reach out the math [TS]

  on this [TS]

  don't don't get me on the steve albini 6 [TS]

  carats is 1.2 grams [TS]

  it's about it's a just about the half [TS]

  the mass of a penny but environment [TS]

  terms that's pretty big you put that on [TS]

  a ring [TS]

  oh you're not gonna do dishes in that [TS]

  that's a fucking big we can have a six [TS]

  carat ring [TS]

  ok you can have a six carat ring all [TS]

  those baseball wives that look like half [TS]

  gazelles have catfish have them at the [TS]

  French manicures [TS]

  yeah yeah that's how you know that's how [TS]

  you tell the baseball wife six carat [TS]

  diamond ring [TS]

  uh-huh yeah that's a lot of carrots ok [TS]

  so anyway and Arkansas so they thought [TS]

  this is going to be a jokey diamond dust [TS]

  industrials most times we used in [TS]

  industry because you can't get full one [TS]

  right using for nail files and stuff [TS]

  right [TS]

  yeah you're using for for those big [TS]

  underground tunneling machines that make [TS]

  the channel for instance the big nose [TS]

  big like screws in a cartoon [TS]

  yeah the big the big screw in a cartoon [TS]

  that's digging under that's digging [TS]

  through the the wall of the underground [TS]

  bank my grandfather comes from time in [TS]

  people [TS]

  no really he's from a diamond people [TS]

  british guiana you grew up like he grew [TS]

  up like within within kool-aid throwing [TS]

  distance between the flavor of James [TS]

  down what would become genistein he's [TS]

  from ya bridge gamma his family and the [TS]

  colonists from London my grandfather is [TS]

  English about that was in British kannur [TS]

  wow yeah what an unusual place to go [TS]

  what an unusually malaria her own place [TS]

  to to go from right now the diamond [TS]

  thing can be very attractive i mean [TS]

  people are gonna go to Arkansas just for [TS]

  BBQ or whatever you know what I mean in [TS]

  this case he came to Ohio to learn to be [TS]

  a dentist with that which i think sounds [TS]

  like a front [TS]

  doesn't that sound a little bit like [TS]

  cover up to come to Ohio to be attempted [TS]

  you're gonna come to from a warm climate [TS]

  he never liked being in Cincinnati he [TS]

  was unhappy until you move back to [TS]

  Florida the year i was born strangely [TS]

  not pretty weird timing so he came from [TS]

  british guiana to Ohio to become a [TS]

  dentist is born in 1901 and he moved and [TS]

  say about he's just a little under 30 [TS]

  help me and he moved to Cincinnati to [TS]

  learn to become a dentist he never [TS]

  became a dentist [TS]

  well you know it's like that maybe maybe [TS]

  he was an elf and and Santa said you're [TS]

  going to make toys and he was like I [TS]

  don't want to make toys I want to be a [TS]

  dentist an analogy always-on hermie [TS]

  hermie I link right one and guitarist [TS]

  books that i love Yukon Cornelius so [TS]

  much the the thing about [TS]

  ohio in 1920 is the president of the [TS]

  most of the indian wars were were done [TS]

  it was a good time to be a dentist you [TS]

  know they caught up with what later they [TS]

  called the Queen City but for a long [TS]

  time was poor accomplice because of the [TS]

  number of pigs pic pic butchery this [TS]

  writer was a big town big pigs [TS]

  well you gotta wonder what they were [TS]

  feeding those pig I didn't want to draw [TS]

  that line to thank you [TS]

  you know Cincinnati they put they put [TS]

  cinnamon in their chili know they sure [TS]

  do buddy [TS]

  yeah it's good stuff but yeah youyou [TS]

  everyone ever week I've never made this [TS]

  naturally for you have i oh you make [TS]

  cincinnati chili my mom's got an [TS]

  airtight recipe yeah yeah it's that [TS]

  skyline what's the other one the other [TS]

  bar in town my ticket [TS]

  yeah you should you know I don't accept [TS]

  this particular going to come down you [TS]

  make me some Cincinnati styles chillin I [TS]

  got a whole plan for us to do something [TS]

  I haven't told you about if I got a plan [TS]

  no I'm gonna take the show around and [TS]

  told you about that yet boy who I like [TS]

  to go on the road you know this week I'm [TS]

  driving down to the salt and see you [TS]

  I think this is another one here made it [TS]

  can kind of see every term here earlier [TS]

  intellectual LARPing is there any chance [TS]

  that a lot of what you're doing is like [TS]

  if you meet people who are poor dear n [TS]

  fairs or do like I look at me I'm I'm in [TS]

  the Army of the Potomac and you like [TS]

  they're not like they don't see them [TS]

  actually really believe that their [TS]

  Gettysburg they're just so just happy [TS]

  just heavy and have authentic buttons [TS]

  you know you don't have been to college [TS]

  o P out of period they call it being out [TS]

  you don't want the wrong but you know [TS]

  what's wrong mustache so that's one of [TS]

  the things that i hate about those [TS]

  things wrong mustache when I when I see [TS]

  when I see some reenactors and some guys [TS]

  got the wrong mustache like that's not [TS]

  the mustache they had because the [TS]

  training issues [TS]

  yeah right you can't just like you can't [TS]

  just Rock any mustache [TS]

  you can't just wear your like steampunk [TS]

  mustache to a civil war reenactment [TS]

  that's not how things are done it was it [TS]

  is unnecessary brass yeah just your [TS]

  looks like oh sure you're mr. curl your [TS]

  mustache up or whatever but but there [TS]

  was no there was none of that them [TS]

  grouping this is a droopy mustache event [TS]

  i have read a lot about this but it's my [TS]

  understanding that that stuff that [TS]

  there's a lot of [TS]

  more authenticity than now going on [TS]

  there's a lot of a lot it's a lot like [TS]

  being at an independent record store [TS]

  camera shop for a comic shop and let's [TS]

  be honest a lot of comic shop it's like [TS]

  it's like a comic shop of the tricorn [TS]

  hat basically yeah but there's a lot of [TS]

  like know your buttons are not aesthetic [TS]

  you wouldn't have a zipper down to fleas [TS]

  John I've heard that some people will [TS]

  get fleas because they're guy would have [TS]

  had fleas but speaking as someone who [TS]

  has some not small experience with fleas [TS]

  you're not you're not immune to please i [TS]

  can set know i can say that is a really [TS]

  stupid thing to do not give yourself [TS]

  fleet you're not going to get a statue [TS]

  buddy you're not gonna hear it and then [TS]

  we're gonna do you think they have [TS]

  make-believe memorials for people who [TS]

  make believe died here here's here's the [TS]

  numbers down that you don't you're [TS]

  reflecting pool as always the number one [TS]

  problem with civil war reenactments how [TS]

  many how many graduate i have for this [TS]

  there are a lot of bling whatever number [TS]

  one problem with civil war reenactments [TS]

  please complete problems Civil War [TS]

  reenactments is that 99% of the soldiers [TS]

  and civil war were 17 to 20 and [TS]

  ninety-nine percent of Civil War [TS]

  reenactors are 55 to 60 65 so you look [TS]

  at your reenactment and there's all [TS]

  these battle guys dressed like privates [TS]

  marching you know like sweat profusely [TS]

  sweating in the Tennessee summer [TS]

  marching over to reenact this battle and [TS]

  it's like there's not one single one of [TS]

  you that looks like a civil war fighter [TS]

  right pictures skinny tennis skinny [TS]

  seventeen-year-old Tennesseans now are [TS]

  all wearing white baseball caps on [TS]

  backwards and they're trying to find the [TS]

  nearest juggalo encampment haha they are [TS]

  not reacting the civil war and that it [TS]

  you know that's what you need basically [TS]

  these federal guys should get their sons [TS]

  like actually happened in the civil war [TS]

  they should force there Suns to reenact [TS]

  ok I i think i understand you're saying [TS]

  there's something much deeper I don't [TS]

  care about your fucking buttons or [TS]

  dysentery [TS]

  there's a deeper problem which is [TS]

  there's no fucking way you would die the [TS]

  first week now what you need to do is go [TS]

  get your kid and compel make your kid [TS]

  you're saying you stay back on the big [TS]

  four [TS]

  arm and make your kid who has both arms [TS]

  you he joins the army of the potomac [TS]

  right he joins the fake Army of the [TS]

  Potomac wasn't killing gets killed by [TS]

  General Sherman's army that's right and [TS]

  and and that would be a true civil war [TS]

  reenactor whoo-hoo [TS]

  that's pretty good yeah um that's the [TS]

  number one problem you could you just [TS]

  stop talking with the number for his [TS]

  problems just stuff your head them [TS]

  mustaches running moustache if you go if [TS]

  you go one watching some reason or no [TS]

  sir I should they should hire me and I [TS]

  just walked down the ramp would be like [TS]

  no wrong wrong mustache [TS]

  yeah you know what frankly i don't care [TS]

  if you get that job but i would like you [TS]

  to go down to the t-shirt barn at [TS]

  whatever mall you have and get federal [TS]

  mustache and maybe it was under cabinet [TS]

  trucker cap John they're gonna think [TS]

  that means something else because nobody [TS]

  wears trucker captain can I can I [TS]

  threatened to change the subject in an [TS]

  organic way by asking you about [TS]

  something you mentioned wants to me is [TS]

  it true that you have a tumblr about [TS]

  juggalos is that accurate [TS]

  I'm i want one so badly but but a you [TS]

  know [TS]

  Seattle is not really just below ground [TS]

  zero [TS]

  you know I really think like Tennessee [TS]

  is where juggalos that's where jugglers [TS]

  really that's the heart of the community [TS]

  between two became Detroit and Memphis [TS]

  it's literally like totally kudzu [TS]

  there's like there's like a juggalo [TS]

  there's a vein of general that runs [TS]

  through our nation our great nation and [TS]

  it starts in Detroit and it ends in [TS]

  Memphis and I can't sell like a [TS]

  speechwriter for the worst parts of [TS]

  Canada effort if you're in street clown [TS]

  makeup trying to figure out is that what [TS]

  it is [TS]

  yeah I go and and and they're proud of [TS]

  their proud of being repulsive and it's [TS]

  it's it's the classic problem of the [TS]

  people being too stupid to realize that [TS]

  they're stupid [TS]

  so that they're proud of the thing [TS]

  therefore precise gambling at that [TS]

  there's a culture dumbfuck erywhere you [TS]

  like you could become lieutenant-colonel [TS]

  of dumbassery like pretty easily because [TS]

  you're respected by your peers for being [TS]

  more into being a dumbass you don't [TS]

  think so you think it's self-aware the [TS]

  other some self-awareness mm seems like [TS]

  an outsider culture i read an article [TS]

  about this is read that article about [TS]

  the about the jungle get together we [TS]

  generally article about juggalos that is [TS]

  like the Holocaust that you can stop [TS]

  reading about i'm super fascinated by [TS]

  the door through things [TS]

  that kinky lady while she was performing [TS]

  yeah yeah that's good articles a really [TS]

  good article very good article I mean I [TS]

  decide what I've seen I've seen a lot of [TS]

  I've seen a lot of things in my time in [TS]

  fact I bet every state i actually [TS]

  actually spent spent some some quality [TS]

  time some intimate time with the young [TS]

  lady that had a gigolo tattoo and she [TS]

  she claimed that it was an ironic [TS]

  judgment that too and I had my doubts if [TS]

  they had like is it like a logo what's [TS]

  the joke is a gigolo tattoo looks like [TS]

  that too is a little guy it's like you [TS]

  remember the pearl jam 10 stick figure [TS]

  there's little stick figure with this [TS]

  guy holding his hands up in the air and [TS]

  he had like dreadlocks he had dreadlock [TS]

  hair it was a stick figure it wasn't [TS]

  even it was just some graffito that they [TS]

  turn into their logo the 10 logo so the [TS]

  juggalo logo is basically that guy the [TS]

  guy with the with some dreadlocks it's a [TS]

  stick figure jobs running which has a [TS]

  Rastafarian yes Chevy Cassandra alright [TS]

  that's not realistic a meat cleaver but [TS]

  as we clear anything so this is the [TS]

  juggalo logo and this young lady uh [TS]

  friend of minor am a lady friend of mine [TS]

  with her i had she does not live in [TS]

  though in the West she is it be clear [TS]

  here necessarily the center of america [TS]

  you you seem to be slightly delusional [TS]

  about a variety of things with women [TS]

  your life which I'm not saying it's a [TS]

  bad thing but like what is your actual [TS]

  relationship that you like me to show [TS]

  too just like how what kind of lady [TS]

  friend with the shoes roshan early fan [TS]

  of the long winters and then in the [TS]

  early days long winters we had we had we [TS]

  out we would they were nice enough to [TS]

  let us stay at their apartment huh [TS]

  and she had a separate area that was [TS]

  hers her room if you will which was for [TS]

  the area that I did ya find no better [TS]

  from the beginning i wish i would have [TS]

  had a set of headaches are a dedicated [TS]

  Roderick zone [TS]

  well you know it depending on the town [TS]

  in our early days of touring depending [TS]

  on the town there was only [TS]

  somebody had to sleep in the van right [TS]

  because i'm paranoid about our van [TS]

  grounds into I did not want to be I did [TS]

  not be want to be one of those bands [TS]

  that had that was like riding home and [TS]

  saying oh should got ripped off [TS]

  ok I hated those bands i handed them [TS]

  because all your shit got ripped off [TS]

  because you were stupid because you park [TS]

  your van full of stuff on the street and [TS]

  then everybody went in and got drunk yet [TS]

  you love you left your equipment and a a [TS]

  econoline in Manhattan [TS]

  yeah orono Manhattan is probably the [TS]

  safest place in the world but like I saw [TS]

  it turns out they're worth of box haha [TS]

  there's a bar here in seattle i used to [TS]

  work at this bar the off-ramp [TS]

  yep and the grunge museum and the crunch [TS]

  museum right and people would play the [TS]

  show they would load their stuff out [TS]

  into the band and this bar was like on a [TS]

  deserted Street next to a freeway and [TS]

  then they would all come back inside and [TS]

  and drink like four beers each such [TS]

  three thirty in the morning they've got [TS]

  a they got a fucking pinata full [TS]

  offenders like sitting in a parking lot [TS]

  yeah and then they would come outside [TS]

  and all they had to do is leave it [TS]

  unattended for 20 minutes I mean what [TS]

  these guys would swoop in break the lock [TS]

  on the van and it would be it'd be empty [TS]

  like yeah [TS]

  all you have to do is turn around and [TS]

  not leave a guy out there seriously so [TS]

  we have sample we built a lexan people [TS]

  that's right we built a bed in our van [TS]

  and we just never left it unattended and [TS]

  some in some towns the fact that one guy [TS]

  could sleep in the bed in the pan ended [TS]

  up being like that guy was the king that [TS]

  night because we were sleeping there was [TS]

  one time [TS]

  oh my god you slept with these peoples [TS]

  house and other sinks were other sinks [TS]

  had clogged but they hadn't stopped [TS]

  putting dirty dishes and and like [TS]

  pouring their beer into the sink so it's [TS]

  like stillwater like every sink was [TS]

  absolutely filled to the brim with [TS]

  Blackwater and you know there's a [TS]

  there's a layer of three inches of a cat [TS]

  vomit on everything and we pulled up to [TS]

  this thing went inside and then the the [TS]

  house was dim right dimly lit and [TS]

  everybody pours into the house like yeah [TS]

  we're partying we're having some [TS]

  after-show party with these people and I [TS]

  got to the top of the stairs and I [TS]

  looked left and I looked right and i saw [TS]

  in all the corner [TS]

  terms of the hallway like that that like [TS]

  skin flakes and pubic hairs had [TS]

  accumulated in like little piles so that [TS]

  you could almost if you were if you were [TS]

  a mouse on a skateboard gonna Jam Trucks [TS]

  juggle a tensile they call it [TS]

  oh and I got to the top of the stairs [TS]

  and I was like hey you guys guess what [TS]

  I'm sleeping in the van tonight and i [TS]

  was i was outside all comfortable in my [TS]

  happy little fan while these guys were [TS]

  being bitten by fleas and probably if [TS]

  there hadn't been a group of us one of [TS]

  them would ended up in pig bacon [TS]

  look look for LARPing there now anyway [TS]

  so this girl this this jungle sighs [TS]

  she's got out she wasn't she claims not [TS]

  to be a juggler she claims to be an [TS]

  ironic juggalo appreciator this is a [TS]

  long time ago 24 she was my first [TS]

  introduction to juggle ilysm I I don't [TS]

  understand tattoos and I and I have to [TS]

  say now I really really don't understand [TS]

  ironic tattoos for ya [TS]

  did you get the thing essentially i used [TS]

  to have a circle jerk shirt had this guy [TS]

  scan on it and it's it looks oddly [TS]

  fingers easy skankin he certainly was [TS]

  not but it's weird it makes you realize [TS]

  the juggalo logo looks a little bit like [TS]

  a cross between the circle jerk skanky [TS]

  guy and and and a swastika is going to [TS]

  have swastik elements but look at the [TS]

  program 10 logo [TS]

  ok let's get on this plastic ality is [TS]

  that what you call it has it has a [TS]

  little plastic ality but so does the [TS]

  Circle Jerks guy for that my favorite [TS]

  Busby Berkeley dance sequence and the [TS]

  Circle Jerks guy is also happens to be a [TS]

  skinhead well yeah it's from like LA or [TS]

  things from like you know the valley [TS]

  maybe you're saying like use a peaceful [TS]

  skimmer he's no no these are great for [TS]

  the chorus hardcore show I ever went to [TS]

  was a circle jerk show and it scared the [TS]

  living shit out of me right let's go as [TS]

  kids kids dancing around that little [TS]

  circle in 1986 with some scary stuff [TS]

  I mean it was violent scary stuff I did [TS]

  that I did that quite a bit that stuff [TS]

  that's lame answer [TS]

  yeah are you Welsh you should probably [TS]

  be Welsh I'm Walsh I could see that was [TS]

  it don't tell me something city show [TS]

  Welshman two doors and one [TS]

  self-destruction you always know which [TS]

  will take even when I was when I was [TS]

  that age I this is I i only know it now [TS]

  in retrospect at the time I didn't [TS]

  realize this but I honestly could only [TS]

  feel things in that in the absolute most [TS]

  extremist sense so if I was feeling bad [TS]

  food only way i could really connect [TS]

  with feeling bad was that I would like [TS]

  to fall I would belly flop on the floor [TS]

  so hard that i would shake glasses off [TS]

  of counters and stuff we like the [TS]

  applicator just growing don't know it [TS]

  was just a just when I got into my late [TS]

  teens I had suppress my emotions for so [TS]

  many years that the only way i could [TS]

  feel emotions was to basically I was [TS]

  never I didn't cut myself I just want it [TS]

  i just went into your night off i went [TS]

  to punk shows and i flailed around and a [TS]

  and punch people and they punch me that [TS]

  was that was one of the ways in which i [TS]

  experienced emotion i just sent you [TS]

  something a link for something called [TS]

  sensory processing disorder [TS]

  I think you might I think you might have [TS]

  gotten that at some point you're 20 some [TS]

  kids have this today it's I think it [TS]

  might be on the spectrum user [TS]

  headbangers right they bang their heads [TS]

  are like little kids you have to run [TS]

  into things [TS]

  yeah i was me that was when I was me but [TS]

  it took many years to develop I did I [TS]

  wasn't like it as a kid how to get [TS]

  started [TS]

  well i suppress my emotions i was one of [TS]

  those i was a modern kid that was like [TS]

  oh I'm fine I'm fine you suppress your [TS]

  emotions and fine I'm fine until when [TS]

  until I was in my twenties until I was [TS]

  in my late twenties actually in my early [TS]

  twenties i was still suppressing my [TS]

  emotions really not what I say [TS]

  expressing my emotions I mean all of my [TS]

  emotions all the time I don't I had I [TS]

  had had I only one like visible [TS]

  expression of emotion and that was that [TS]

  I would that I would get so that [TS]

  basically anything if I felt anything [TS]

  extremely and i'm not even extreme [TS]

  happiness by the only way I could [TS]

  express was to go sit in the corner and [TS]

  stare at the floor [TS]

  that's not funny but that wasn't funny [TS]

  at all [TS]

  I would go sit in the corner and stare [TS]

  at the floor sometimes for hours and [TS]

  that's when you will need that was angry [TS]

  that was sad when I was not actually [TS]

  clear that's not when you couldn't feel [TS]

  an emotion that's when you felt it [TS]

  strongly [TS]

  that's when I was really like feeling it [TS]

  i would go stare at the floor of the of [TS]

  the rest of the time emotions made no I [TS]

  had no I i had no contact with them and [TS]

  then it is why I went through a very [TS]

  long period where people thought it was [TS]

  a real asshole but not not not not 30 [TS]

  days of rest emotions period but during [TS]

  that period immediately afterwards I was [TS]

  like you know what I need to feel I need [TS]

  to start feeling emotion as Fisher's [TS]

  developed and I had no I had no idea how [TS]

  to do it [TS]

  I had no idea how to do it in a socially [TS]

  acceptable way so i would feel these [TS]

  emotions and I would just like go mad [TS]

  and and it was a little bit scary [TS]

  because of course I had grown up I was [TS]

  very big and I was alright and I had a [TS]

  very fierce look that I practiced for [TS]

  many years of not feeling things [TS]

  wow so when I did suddenly have an [TS]

  emotion boy it was a it was terrorizing [TS]

  now I'm I'm much for I'm I've been [TS]

  working on it for a long time now i have [TS]

  emotions all the time I'm having one [TS]

  right now who can give me a rough idea [TS]

  that sort of a knot in my stomach with a [TS]

  little bit of nausea [TS]

  uh-huh and it's happiness maybe said [TS]

  don't you I'm still a little bit just a [TS]

  little bit unclear on well how emotions [TS]

  get it felt you should get some faygo I [TS]

  should you know what i should do I [TS]

  should now that I'm in my forties and I [TS]

  have like basically injured every every [TS]

  single limb in my body now I should go [TS]

  get in a mud bath with a bunch of 20 [TS]

  year-old Tennesseans and really let my [TS]

  feelings come out [TS]

  no I don't think so how do you have a [TS]

  culture like that i mean like one thing [TS]

  I'm I always admire honesty I always [TS]

  admire let's just say i'm very [TS]

  interested in outside our culture's i'm [TS]

  very interested in people he has won one [TS]

  of the few good things about the [TS]

  internet and potentially deadly and [TS]

  dangerous things you can find people who [TS]

  are into the same thing that you're into [TS]

  was great i think anytime you have [TS]

  community people who feel adrift they [TS]

  can meet people like what they like I [TS]

  mean it's easy to make fun of but it's [TS]

  gets kinda cool i mean sometimes you [TS]

  make fun of [TS]

  yeah women sometimes you end up you know [TS]

  on a ranch like you know clicking your [TS]

  guts and stuff but sometimes sometimes [TS]

  showed up at comic-con walking around [TS]

  just like in claiming that you claim to [TS]

  like it there [TS]

  I don't like they say justice bokeh [TS]

  effect about i did like it there [TS]

  you know i was just as both fed so [TS]

  nobody could tell you I was always [TS]

  amazed that people who dress is an [TS]

  extremely minor character that's the [TS]

  ones i really admire yeah those are the [TS]

  geniuses in fact you know what we got [TS]

  some fan mail the other day did we [TS]

  we got some family from we have a way to [TS]

  receive fan mail [TS]

  well a listener in Germany it's already [TS]

  funny sentence packages to Barsoom [TS]

  records my record label forwarded the [TS]

  packages to me and I took the liberty of [TS]

  opening your present is a nice thing [TS]

  there is it also my present was a book [TS]

  with an iggy pop on the cover and it was [TS]

  a collection of short reviews of the 315 [TS]

  best song [TS]

  [Music] [TS]

  [Music] [TS]

  in the world in his it rock and roll [TS]

  5315 best rock and roll songs nice it's [TS]

  a book you know that you keep in the [TS]

  bathroom when you thumb through and [TS]

  you're like oh right I agree that that's [TS]

  something by the seasons in the sun by [TS]

  Carrie Jack's right great song [TS]

  I'm gonna go check and see if it's in [TS]

  the present for you was an action figure [TS]

  it still in the original packaging of [TS]

  course i have not i'm not one MIB it is [TS]

  an action figure from the movie wall-e [TS]

  now and it is the minor character of the [TS]

  robot washer mao mode the robot washer [TS]

  that's my daughter's favorite and [TS]

  probably my favorite i love mo oh my god [TS]

  that's so sweet it's on literally on my [TS]

  Amazon wish list maybe that's where they [TS]

  saw it [TS]

  our fair our fans in Germany sent you a [TS]

  memo [TS]

  oh my god what you have here it's right [TS]

  next to your cello and I got your nausea [TS]

  not I feel terrible but we said about [TS]

  Germany no no internal they had a way to [TS]

  get us things [TS]

  Germany's fine they can take it you know [TS]

  the Germans are used to being cheese [TS]

  they like pastry don't think they like [TS]

  certain pastries they like they like [TS]

  pastries with the with the poppy seeds [TS]

  on glossy street obviously pastries but [TS]

  yet again cake they like cake in Germany [TS]

  shake you love cake you know they like [TS]

  bacon austria through in Germany they [TS]

  let bread with mustard food sounds [TS]

  hearty either heart EP you like [TS]

  literally like toast with honey that's [TS]

  not dissimilar like toast with honey I [TS]

  you know I was thinking the other day in [TS]

  all the gas stations in Germany they saw [TS]

  these hot dogs which they call sausages [TS]

  are versed with whom I saw these really [TS]

  long sausages make the comically huh [TS]

  well I get a perm like an atomic long I [TS]

  mean they have these that they have [TS]

  these jars these glass jars at every gas [TS]

  station in German like the eggs is like [TS]

  that kind of thing yeah yeah it's like [TS]

  it's like a hard-boiled egg next to the [TS]

  bar except it's a glass jar filled with [TS]

  like hot dog water [TS]

  and it has all these these like 18 inch [TS]

  long sausages [TS]

  oh but and you go and get one of these [TS]

  things and then they give you a role to [TS]

  go with this awesome but the role is the [TS]

  size of a baseball [TS]

  so you have this 18 inches sausage and [TS]

  then this baseball-sized role and I for [TS]

  the life of me I mean I've been there [TS]

  I've been there dozens of times and I [TS]

  love these these versts but i do not [TS]

  understand how they're meant to be [TS]

  consumed [TS]

  I don't know if you hold the hot dog in [TS]

  one hand and the role in the other and [TS]

  you take a bite out of one of the Bible [TS]

  yeah I think you have to alternate [TS]

  winner ends or do you do you cut the [TS]

  worst into quarters you cut down [TS]

  lengthwise and then in half and you [TS]

  could you make up just a small incision [TS]

  and fold it to make a triple-dog mm says [TS]

  here and just just quickly I 18 inches [TS]

  is 45.7 centimeters you three times and [TS]

  rivers 945-10 reverse it sounds to me [TS]

  like and he said he said the man was [TS]

  approximately six inches right which [TS]

  would be what than 15 centimeters you it [TS]

  seems to me and by the way that is the [TS]

  worst would be eight and a half credit [TS]

  card with right little this is our I [TS]

  thought we were going to quote your [TS]

  records [TS]

  you're allowed to your the art or so [TS]

  what you're saying is don't want to or [TS]

  could actually you can actually fold [TS]

  this versed in thirds and put it in the [TS]

  bomb can actually he's got a lot of [TS]

  rules to get a lot of rules about a lot [TS]

  of things they do you know we should get [TS]

  into some of them but I've been learning [TS]

  a lot about things that are illegal in [TS]

  Germany and and maybe first folding is [TS]

  not so maybe something that's frowned [TS]

  upon [TS]

  I couldn't tell you used in these gas [TS]

  stations and everybody that's in there [TS]

  you know the Germans are there they're [TS]

  not making a lot of eye contact actually [TS]

  sitting on gas stations the Germans [TS]

  everybody's sitting around this gas [TS]

  station eating these worst and I've been [TS]

  watching them trying to figure out like [TS]

  what the way to do it is everybody's got [TS]

  a different method fucking lucky nuria's [TS]

  it's like eating oreos it maybe it's the [TS]

  German oreo is a is a hot dog in a bit a [TS]

  small bun long hot dog in a small button [TS]

  that's the German or al [TS]

  that whole like eating out of a jar I [TS]

  mean it's such an obvious joke like a [TS]

  Simpsons thing but like I have never in [TS]

  you know and I John we've talked i mean [TS]

  i've eaten a lot of shit from 7-11 I'm [TS]

  not like actual literal shit like I've [TS]

  had some very bad things from the 7-11 [TS]

  never had any desire to reach my arm and [TS]

  is a brine or vinegar what's giving [TS]

  sense of what's up [TS]

  okay i'm sorry i'm being reductive here [TS]

  load i'm doing the intellectual LARPing [TS]

  I don't like let me ask it a question [TS]

  John to your knowledge first of all have [TS]

  you ever eaten eggs out of the jar in a [TS]

  fast food place [TS]

  no but i have eaten a jalapeno pepper [TS]

  out of the jar huh i I've got I I you [TS]

  know I'm very uncomfortable as you know [TS]

  I'm very uncomfortable with open [TS]

  containers of of food any kind of salad [TS]

  bar type scenario ever since nine eleven [TS]

  I can't stop thinking about it with my [TS]

  legs [TS]

  not at all no no i mean i like i like [TS]

  scrambled eggs a cake digs but I don't [TS]

  want me to exile make good eggs [TS]

  I don't like a hard-boiled egg not at [TS]

  all and I don't like a brined and his [TS]

  people way overcooked their eggs [TS]

  including my wife i have a7 method [TS]

  either method first she doesn't listen [TS]

  to this podcast I never she's just she [TS]

  keeps thinking that she's gonna listen [TS]

  to the rubber girl episode but is that [TS]

  the one that's the one you're going to [TS]

  introduce her to right let's start over [TS]

  so start at the top right let's give a [TS]

  revolver [TS]

  I'm saying hey honey on like this [TS]

  darling 12 will get back to them all [TS]

  right that down for later but i do have [TS]

  a bulletproof a cooking method but ok so [TS]

  you've had what did you see I saw this [TS]

  on the internet yeah there somebody [TS]

  saying the actual best way to make a [TS]

  hard-boiled egg is not to boil it all [TS]

  but to put them in the oven to bake the [TS]

  egg turns out in the oven [TS]

  have you considered this i had not but [TS]

  that would not be boiling [TS]

  well no but it would be i mean the egg [TS]

  probably would be boiling inside itself [TS]

  you know the best way to cook cook fried [TS]

  bacon is slowbro staying well you know [TS]

  here's what you do you get you get a [TS]

  rolling boil right this might be [TS]

  starting a great club kilbourne the [TS]

  witness at the Daily Show guy anyway the [TS]

  New York Times guy billboard [TS]

  ok thank you i was actually on his show [TS]

  the craig kilborn show when I was in RB [TS]

  danger [TS]

  no kidding you put that out there i [TS]

  think a harbinger playing sad sweetheart [TS]

  of the rodeo on the great class [TS]

  Jerry's on and it was my first time ever [TS]

  playing the bass through an amplifier [TS]

  you're kidding what outcome on I don't [TS]

  you don't believe that late late show [TS]

  with craig oh my god we were so we [TS]

  searched and you're right in the [TS]

  thumbnail John you were not loose shirt [TS]

  I see your face and I was the keyboard [TS]

  player in the band right and Aaron [TS]

  Hoffman the bass player of harvey danger [TS]

  got sick what we want we got very sick [TS]

  nice guy and he had to go home and we [TS]

  were at the airport at Reagan National [TS]

  Airport in Washington DC where I have [TS]

  been multiple times and we're standing [TS]

  the airport errands like I gotta go I [TS]

  gotta go home I gotta go to the hospital [TS]

  and he did he went to the hospital would [TS]

  have flu and pneumonia [TS]

  haha poor aaron he's such a good guy [TS]

  he's a wonderful man and a great [TS]

  musician whose we and that's all they're [TS]

  good and yes i agree but so we're [TS]

  standing at the airport and then wewe [TS]

  we're we're waiting to get on an [TS]

  airplane to go to Los Angeles to play on [TS]

  the craig kilborn show and the bass [TS]

  player like basically walks across the [TS]

  airport to a different airline and puts [TS]

  credit card down and is on an airplane [TS]

  20 minutes later and is gone like poof [TS]

  and so we're standing there sitting on [TS]

  our guitar cases and the the the bands [TS]

  like what are we going to do we gotta [TS]

  cancel this show and talking back and [TS]

  forth and then they all kind of look at [TS]

  me at once and they're like could you [TS]

  play the bass forty-second Street get [TS]

  out there kid and I was like ye sure [TS]

  although i had never played the bass has [TS]

  got some fruity changes on it doesn't it [TS]

  is a senior straightforward and the net [TS]

  is like a lead guitar player whose own [TS]

  is just playing the bass the key is his [TS]

  bass lines are not easy to hide a lot [TS]

  guy [TS]

  well and just like he plays through [TS]

  distortion box he plays like anyplace [TS]

  melodies so I'm like I can do this and [TS]

  they got the business before nine eleven [TS]

  so they got the base out of the base [TS]

  case it put it in my hand and they said [TS]

  carry this on the airplane [TS]

  listen to the song on your headphones [TS]

  and learning while we fly across the [TS]

  country in a plane seat so I'm sitting [TS]

  in the back of this airplane with this [TS]

  because I walk on the airplane with the [TS]

  base and they're like [TS]

  can we help you put that in an overhead [TS]

  compartment and I said lady I'm supposed [TS]

  to be on national television tomorrow [TS]

  and I did I have never played this [TS]

  instrument before so you are not taking [TS]

  you're not touching this guitar i'm [TS]

  gonna have this with me and they put me [TS]

  in a seat in the back where there was [TS]

  nobody sitting next to me which again [TS]

  does not happen anymore and I spent the [TS]

  whole plane flight with this base in my [TS]

  hand and listening to the song we landed [TS]

  and there was a limo to pick us up and i [TS]

  sat in a limo with the base and my [TS]

  headphones now we got to the hotel and i [TS]

  stayed up basically all night learning [TS]

  basically learning to play the bass my [TS]

  fingers were all blistery and and read [TS]

  and I was like man and in the morning I [TS]

  woke up did it again [TS]

  listen to song playing the bass the limo [TS]

  came to pick us up took us to the craig [TS]

  kilborn show whole way there practicing [TS]

  and we walk in they walk us onto the [TS]

  stage and the guy there's a guy standing [TS]

  there he hands me a cable i plug it in [TS]

  to the base and go full bump and that's [TS]

  the first time i've ever played a [TS]

  amplified base and then I turn and [TS]

  there's a man saying who goes we're on [TS]

  in five four three two and then we start [TS]

  playing the song and i have I had never [TS]

  played it with a band i had never played [TS]

  an amplified bass guitar and that is the [TS]

  that is the version of said sweetheart [TS]

  of the rodeo you'll see on the internet [TS]

  on the craig kilborn scared watching how [TS]

  to go it went great because i was fueled [TS]

  by I had massive waves of adrenaline [TS]

  right so I'm just like well and not only [TS]

  am I not only playing the bass but i'm [TS]

  also singing harmony parts which I had [TS]

  not been practicing right i think is so [TS]

  much like a dream from junior high it [TS]

  was crazy [TS]

  I I used to sing harmony parts from [TS]

  behind the keyboard but as i was [TS]

  learning the bass part i forgot that i [TS]

  also had all these singing parts and [TS]

  then once I was out there and we were [TS]

  playing the song i was playing the bass [TS]

  i just started singing my harmony parts [TS]

  too because i was fueled by such a [TS]

  massive adrenaline way and I went fine i [TS]

  went great [TS]

  um but then also we're after the show [TS]

  we're in the green room and I'm coming [TS]

  down like off of a you know a thousand [TS]

  waves of cocaine power of having just [TS]

  done that made my base debut on national [TS]

  television and everybody looks mean [TS]

  they're like well you know our next [TS]

  shows in buffalo in two days can you [TS]

  learn the rest of the set [TS]

  can you learn the whole set on the base [TS]

  and I was like yes I totally can and so [TS]

  I spent the next two days like floor [TS]

  again on an airplane flying to buffalo [TS]

  in a hotel in Buffalo learning every [TS]

  song and in the Army Ranger said and you [TS]

  know the first night was pretty rough [TS]

  the second night was better and by the [TS]

  third night I felt like yeah I've got it [TS]

  i'll i just learned 15 songs on [TS]

  instrument I've never played for my [TS]

  hands were just every night were just [TS]

  covered in blood because i had and i [TS]

  haven't been able to develop any [TS]

  calluses it was just I just shredded my [TS]

  fingers and after the third show I was [TS]

  like I got it and I quit practicing and [TS]

  that night I went out had some food in a [TS]

  restaurant watched a little TV and the [TS]

  hotel room went to sleep woke up the [TS]

  next day feeling good went for a walk [TS]

  and then we went to the show and I had [TS]

  no recollection of any of the songs i [TS]

  could not remember the first note of any [TS]

  one of the 15 songs and walked out on [TS]

  stage somewhere in Pennsylvania was just [TS]

  like uh nothin it had I stopped [TS]

  practicing and it was kept in my skit [TS]

  was kept in my ram was kept in my rom [TS]

  never wrote to disk it never wrote the [TS]

  desk it was just in it was just there in [TS]

  flash memory and then it was all gone [TS]

  and i had to basically had to start at [TS]

  the start and andrey learn how all the [TS]

  songs went again that night so that by [TS]

  the show the following day I kind of had [TS]

  it all back [TS]

  but there's one show in pencil and thank [TS]

  god this is before people had camera [TS]

  phones there's one show in Pennsylvania [TS]

  with where i was out there just thrown [TS]

  my biggest bass shapes and basically was [TS]

  improvising improvised soloing over the [TS]

  over the entire so you can remember what [TS]

  key it's in and like just paying out on [TS]

  the route a little bit odd [TS]

  it's gonna look I look over the guitar [TS]

  player and he'd be declaring at me and I [TS]

  was just like what is the note was [TS]

  Sean's response you know Sean Sean he's [TS]

  a pro he's a pro he's the frontman right [TS]

  so he's out at the front of the stage [TS]

  he's trying to put on a show and that he [TS]

  was used to the band behind him being a [TS]

  little chaotic so this this wasn't the [TS]

  problem [TS]

  probably that shown Pennsylvania where I [TS]

  didn't remember any of the notes [TS]

  probably wasn't even the worst harvey [TS]

  danger she'll probably in the top with [TS]

  nothing i'm leaving with or without you [TS]

  yeah yeah yeah i mean their thirst shows [TS]

  where I wasn't even in the band that [TS]

  probably rivaled at 44 [TS]

  no I mean certainly number of people on [TS]

  stage who don't know what they're doing [TS]

  I don't think it was even in the top ten [TS]

  be in the audience for any of this hi i [TS]

  saw some harvey danger shows before i [TS]

  was in the band some that were [TS]

  miraculous some that were absolutely on [TS]

  fire and some were they were truly [TS]

  miraculous in another way and then so [TS]

  what good did you get back at Sean later [TS]

  by make him sleep in the van [TS]

  well Sean realized as everyone did [TS]

  pretty early but when we first started [TS]

  going on tour in because it don't know [TS]

  you you better hide Shawna Nelson in the [TS]

  long winter by singer harvey danger in [TS]

  your apartment later became the long [TS]

  winters keyboard player and backing [TS]

  singer [TS]

  and like having like them apples and [TS]

  take that take that [TS]

  yeah the say hello to the new boss same [TS]

  as the old boss but it but at the [TS]

  beginning of those early tours there was [TS]

  a lot of resistance from people to sleep [TS]

  in the family i don't want to leave and [TS]

  I want to sleep in the hotel room and so [TS]

  I was like all right also in the van you [TS]

  know you guys double up in some bed in a [TS]

  super 8 motel but then people realized [TS]

  that now they're young guys they're most [TS]

  of the guy [TS]

  well everybody else in the band besides [TS]

  me was in their twenties and they want a [TS]

  little privacy you have compulsive [TS]

  masturbator in the back they want a [TS]

  little they want a little masturbation [TS]

  time [TS]

  yes and so if you slept in the van that [TS]

  was your opportunity to play with [TS]

  yourself that's also 66 hours of not [TS]

  having to be around the other guys right [TS]

  Charlotte be huge [TS]

  ah oh my god no one is telling no one is [TS]

  trying to tell me stories about the [TS]

  Civil War no one is lecturing me right [TS]

  now about Tippecanoe and Tyler don't [TS]

  touch my tinkerbell poster [TS]

  no one is yelling at me no one is no one [TS]

  is opening a can of tuna fish and [TS]

  spreading it on a pita bread [TS]

  no one is explaining to me why [TS]

  sebadoh is the greatest band in American [TS]

  history i can just sit here and [TS]

  masturbate and enjoy a little alone time [TS]

  sleepytime so the van became like a [TS]

  thing that people would fight over [TS]

  that's it so i keep thinking the whole [TS]

  time you say this answer however [TS]

  sensible but look what [TS]

  there must have been times when that if [TS]

  you like paid off by somebody being [TS]

  there when somebody tried to break in [TS]

  and how many times did that happen and [TS]

  who was there [TS]

  well our drummer Michael our drummer at [TS]

  the time Michael Schilling who is now a [TS]

  professor of literature at cornish [TS]

  College of the Arts nice was in the band [TS]

  one night when a guy jumped up on the [TS]

  back bumper and started shooting [TS]

  roman candles Rockets roman candles Oh [TS]

  Sparky kind [TS]

  yeah well like shooting [TS]

  flaming balls like boom boom roman [TS]

  candles and Michael tells the story it [TS]

  sounded kind of like a fever dream where [TS]

  he uh the thing is we never he came [TS]

  running into the hotel rooms like you [TS]

  guys you guys come out this guy's [TS]

  attacking the van we all went out there [TS]

  and there's nobody there and there's [TS]

  nothing no sign of anything it kind of [TS]

  reminded me of the of the ghost of the [TS]

  civil war debt that i saw when i was [TS]

  sleeping in and out in front of your [TS]

  house [TS]

  yeah so I can't think of a time when [TS]

  somebody when like two thugs and a [TS]

  crowbar snuck up and were gonna try and [TS]

  break into the man but this is also [TS]

  because when I would leave a club with a [TS]

  van full of gear and some dudes i would [TS]

  take a circuitous route to lose any [TS]

  tales that I might have I would use some [TS]

  of my tail losing techniques that I [TS]

  learned in my FBI surveillance manual [TS]

  would lose any tail so what by the time [TS]

  we got to the hotel [TS]

  it's pretty safe pretty secure in the [TS]

  knowledge that we had not been followed [TS]

  just a bunch of people from some kind of [TS]

  black ops shaking their fists at your [TS]

  friend live although dammit [TS]

  well the other thing I would do is if I [TS]

  felt like somebody was really going to [TS]

  if I felt like it was a situation where [TS]

  there are a lot of guys lurking around [TS]

  eyeball in our man i get everybody in [TS]

  the band we drive for three hours after [TS]

  the countryside like in the direction [TS]

  you need to get the direction we need to [TS]

  go okay so it's like you know if you [TS]

  guys want to rip our van that's fine you [TS]

  just have to follow us out into the [TS]

  night at 4am we're gonna pull over at [TS]

  the super eight somewhere and then do [TS]

  your worst [TS]

  there's something on you know I try to [TS]

  be sensitive about these things because [TS]

  i know you are i have to have to imagine [TS]

  somewhat circumspect about what you [TS]

  share in a public forum like this [TS]

  certainly contribute your knowledge and [TS]

  wisdom is something you're you're very [TS]

  generous in sharing but you're the [TS]

  various techniques that allow you to [TS]

  conduct yourself in the way you do now [TS]

  or in some kind of apocalyptic world are [TS]

  things we want to you know you don't [TS]

  tell people the gun sitting right here [TS]

  actually you don't say oh yeah I've got [TS]

  a bunch of like silver ingots i'm using [TS]

  as a like a book stands you know these [TS]

  things called the end of the row books [TS]

  you're a canny man now i need over a [TS]

  cougar ain't getting it over a [TS]

  Krugerrand well they don't make silver [TS]

  crooms overwhelming you don't want you [TS]

  don't gold golden gold Krueger in what [TS]

  they do but you know gold is a lot more [TS]

  expensive than silver I was sure okay [TS]

  it's easier to cash silver to do denny's [TS]

  or something [TS]

  oh I you in cash like see a cna sure [TS]

  like geocaching another thing is before [TS]

  i had had as much exposure to you in [TS]

  general and specifically to your you [TS]

  know it just got your training you know [TS]

  especially not by this personal training [TS]

  autodidactic training but here you're [TS]

  hot-headed exorcism [TS]

  I remember one day were not each stop me [TS]

  I game will cut this out of the city [TS]

  thing that the nose don't know I'm you [TS]

  and I were in public transit going [TS]

  somewhere here in San Francisco and and [TS]

  you would do this thing you would even [TS]

  we didn't we didn't want to talk about [TS]

  that you did this thing but you always [TS]

  do this thing that struck me as being [TS]

  extremely weird and and now I think it's [TS]

  really fucking weird but I understand [TS]

  why you do it which is I would stand up [TS]

  when our stop was coming I would stand [TS]

  up and go stand by the door and you have [TS]

  you would sit there in a way that was [TS]

  not only a stand not you not only one [TS]

  standing up but you kind of acted like [TS]

  you didn't know me like maybe something [TS]

  maybe this guy just happen to be saying [TS]

  there might be turning around looking at [TS]

  you your expression would not change but [TS]

  the doors would open i would i would [TS]

  walk out like an adult and a very last [TS]

  moment like Han Solo jumping through the [TS]

  closing sphincter you would dive through [TS]

  the door but no it's a John just for [TS]

  future reference if we ride meeting [TS]

  together when I stand up and move toward [TS]

  the door and sit next ones are stop [TS]

  thinking you can get on with me up and [TS]

  he said what did you say well you tell [TS]

  me [TS]

  I think he says he said was I don't want [TS]

  people to know my move [TS]

  what's ahead of time because the Chinese [TS]

  lady with the chicken in the six pack [TS]

  bags up you know what I mean that could [TS]

  be like a kind of goldfinger situation i [TS]

  still do that you know when the when the [TS]

  when I was traveling with hodgman and [TS]

  we're sitting in an airport and they're [TS]

  like all right now boarding rows you [TS]

  know 115 and how it stands up and he's [TS]

  like that's us and like that's you [TS]

  usually what I mean we're enroute were [TS]

  both in row two or so nice to each other [TS]

  i might you can get on now if you want [TS]

  that so he's like well I do want i'm [TS]

  like okay bye [TS]

  he knows and he's staring at me all the [TS]

  way down the then i'm just sitting there [TS]

  reading a newspaper [TS]

  I don't get on an airplane maybe i might [TS]

  even take a flight maybe i'm just here [TS]

  making it work here around here or I'm [TS]

  gonna be reading this paper this might [TS]

  not be a paper you keep moving don't [TS]

  worry about me but not when the woman [TS]

  from the airplane actually when they [TS]

  have said final boarding doors are about [TS]

  the club and happy when they have said [TS]

  that three times and the woman at the [TS]

  gate kicks the little rubber foot on the [TS]

  door in order soon get close [TS]

  that's when I stand up and walk briskly [TS]

  to the gate you you hurl your carry-on [TS]

  bag and dot when a lot of times I'll be [TS]

  getting on the plane and they'll [TS]

  actually have to actually be shutting [TS]

  the door i'll be like one more coming [TS]

  through tearing off your fake mustache [TS]

  as you know I'm the last on the plane it [TS]

  means whatever guy was following me [TS]

  didn't make it on the blade that's right [TS]

  maybe next time comrade who I think [TS]

  could find a spot there so Hodgman gets [TS]

  on let me turn this off [TS]

  looks like you he's like oh it's time to [TS]

  board the plane oh yeah no I mean here's [TS]

  the thing John is I get swept up i get [TS]

  swept up like anybody in the whole [TS]

  boarding thing and you know me I'm a [TS]

  Buddhist not really but it's kind of [TS]

  Buddhist you know I like to keep my head [TS]

  about me [TS]

  I don't like to be somebody who's being [TS]

  driven by the anxiety of people around [TS]

  me it's a terrible fucking ideas nowhere [TS]

  to lead your life and you know it so the [TS]

  thing is at every moment of travel with [TS]

  our shopping [TS]

  guess you're not the the thing about [TS]

  traveling is that every step of the way [TS]

  in less you have the right mental [TS]

  attitude about travel you will [TS]

  constantly be going I can't fucking wait [TS]

  to get to the next thing and i'll be [TS]

  angry until I do [TS]

  that's the default state of all [TS]

  travelers so you want to get the fucking [TS]

  Airport you get the fucking Airport you [TS]

  can get your fucking bag checked right [TS]

  security [TS]

  hi dog coffee line fucking what really [TS]

  really you're in you're in seating area [TS]

  for and you're standing there with your [TS]

  six bags why don't you why don't you [TS]

  fucking move and and let this lady with [TS]

  a baby through god damn it makes me mad [TS]

  everybody's but I'm not really hungry [TS]

  right cuz i'm in the moment my head is [TS]

  removed some fucking Buddhist and I said [TS]

  her and i said in my State like a [TS]

  gentleman until they call it right and [TS]

  then I gonna see that that's what i do [TS]

  and then you get in there and [TS]

  everybody's jostling around though [TS]

  you're right in first class with [TS]

  mustache boy so you don't have the [TS]

  situation right but I don't hide your [TS]

  first class seat to pay for that you [TS]

  know sometimes position your musician [TS]

  you can't fight fate for things like [TS]

  that you know sometimes now they give [TS]

  you these like first-class upgrades for [TS]

  fifty bucks social Alaska he finally [TS]

  asked Roxy and Alaska's there but the [TS]

  thing is i'll tell you why I can already [TS]

  tell not to review i can tell it's [TS]

  bullshit first-class always checks in a [TS]

  hundred percent full have to say [TS]

  redundancy everyone nowadays they do [TS]

  always checks in a hundred percent 484 [TS]

  when i travel with john hodgman who I [TS]

  travel is paid for [TS]

  he just peels off one of those [TS]

  novelty-sized builds and builds and [TS]

  builds up a novelty-sized buildings like [TS]

  this one's on me no I did over 60 of [TS]

  those commercials from television you [TS]

  know I know he did I thought of him on [TS]

  the end and we should talk about the [TS]

  shot photo of him on the internet the [TS]

  other day we still doing the show I [TS]

  thought you canceled our valued close [TS]

  door close this out yeah yeah we stopped [TS]

  a long time ago don't worry right now [TS]

  we're still recording [TS]

  and-and-and-and time we still have to [TS]

  keep moustache he had kind of kind of [TS]

  floppy like cool guy hair is he working [TS]

  floppy cool guy hair was he just was he [TS]

  was he like Shemp he just needed they [TS]

  need to kind of spat back down your kind [TS]

  of cool he looks like he's working a [TS]

  look [TS]

  well here's the here's the thing is the [TS]

  thing about 900 here like a lot of [TS]

  people he he he struggled to find of the [TS]

  right haircut for a long time I think [TS]

  because um you know he has a unusual [TS]

  head shape [TS]

  he has a head shape that that you can't [TS]

  just go into a barber and say give me [TS]

  the standard a preppy haircut I don't [TS]

  think you could either you extremely [TS]

  large head [TS]

  well that's why I taught myself how to [TS]

  cut my own hair right he went to Yale [TS]

  and he went to yell so he was used to [TS]

  going to barbers and having barbering [TS]

  done i heard they have a whole [TS]

  skullenbones a salon with that's true [TS]

  stolen bones barbershop [TS]

  yep but so for a long time I think here [TS]

  he was just having his hair cut by [TS]

  somebody and it he would get a different [TS]

  you know it'd be a different experience [TS]

  every time well um in my a sense we've [TS]

  known each other [TS]

  I mean I think at one point his wife [TS]

  even suggested that I cut his hair and [TS]

  he was very very unwilling to have me [TS]

  cut his hair how do you feel about her [TS]

  even offering that up on his people's he [TS]

  was furious at her he was just like no [TS]

  no no no no and partly it was that he [TS]

  didn't want me touching him and partly [TS]

  2.1 bad that was not a thing and she was [TS]

  like but I mean I think you know so he [TS]

  grew his hair a little bit and I think [TS]

  the prospect maybe even the prospect of [TS]

  having me cut his hair was enough to [TS]

  what was enough to cause him to start [TS]

  thinking about it just as he did it had [TS]

  an effect [TS]

  well since that time he has started [TS]

  wearing his hair in what i think is a [TS]

  much much more becoming style for him [TS]

  and you know for me I think like if i [TS]

  cut my hair to short on the sides it [TS]

  really it really exacerbates the bigness [TS]

  of my head doesn't make you look like a [TS]

  juggalo makes me look more like a it [TS]

  makes me look like a guy that used to be [TS]

  in shape now has a 26 inch neck and [TS]

  sells right so its profitability still [TS]

  thinks to himself as being like BP yeah [TS]

  you'd be slipped guys and he's going to [TS]

  those got one of those holiday a graphic [TS]

  tee with like this douchebag German [TS]

  gothic black-letter things on it you [TS]

  know it does outs to see or something [TS]

  like that up that guy [TS]

  yeah right so pretty done date-raped by [TS]

  net hardy shirt how does that work and [TS]

  Hardy is the hotrod guy right behind 10 [TS]

  what about a shower sandals are kinda [TS]

  rapey what I have never you know what I [TS]

  don't have a shower sandals like for you [TS]

  I take my I take my chances i get in the [TS]

  shower and it's like do I am I going to [TS]

  get foot fungus here is that concern [TS]

  that concern is contagion like you gonna [TS]

  tell virus going to get to buyers are [TS]

  going to get jock foot [TS]

  yes and so I take my chances [TS]

  yeah well flip flops and only flip flops [TS]

  either i don't like him I don't like him [TS]

  I don't like anybody in them when i was [TS]

  living in new york it was right during [TS]

  the transition between when girls girls [TS]

  during the nineties you remember all [TS]

  wore big chunky boots on that puts him [TS]

  and I thought that was so sexy little [TS]

  skinny legs [TS]

  yea big chunky boots and a little [TS]

  babydoll dresses who and then right [TS]

  there at the end of the nineties there [TS]

  was this transition all of a sudden they [TS]

  were wearing really expensive flip-flops [TS]

  like expensive flip-flop high heel flip [TS]

  flops I don't think you can do that by [TS]

  your flip-flops that's what that was the [TS]

  new fashion and I was so disgusted by [TS]

  first of all because people's toes are [TS]

  disgusting [TS]

  no absolutely second of all combat boots [TS]

  are sexy [TS]

  I i figured when we got to combat boots [TS]

  and baby doll dresses that we were at [TS]

  the end of fashion who and that girl's [TS]

  this was that this was going to be sexy [TS]

  from here on out [TS]

  ok that somehow there would be like [TS]

  would be like the nasdaq in an 89 that [TS]

  we would just be able to sustain this [TS]

  level of awesomesauce forever [TS]

  yeah right you can wear different [TS]

  dresses your pants and we will see [TS]

  variations on this but at this point [TS]

  taste has changed but the boot the boot [TS]

  boots boots whoo that's we're done [TS]

  it's a great look and then high heel [TS]

  flip flops came in and I was and I'm [TS]

  right on the subways all the time [TS]

  looking at these girls and I'm like you [TS]

  craggy gnarly toes I don't want to see [TS]

  this i want you in boots [TS]

  this it's big you know how cold our [TS]

  neighborhood is like almost all the time [TS]

  like it's 53 in our neighborhood every [TS]

  day because the the winter comes in with [TS]

  a very very unusual climate even for San [TS]

  Francisco San Francisco's got a crazy [TS]

  climate but even i live in a pretty cold [TS]

  neighborhood where there are days will [TS]

  be little bit 50 to 55 it goes up and [TS]

  down but I mean it's Tommy statically it [TS]

  always ends back around 53 or 54 right [TS]

  and these kids if they're not wearing [TS]

  their ugg boots they're wearing they're [TS]

  wearing their fucking flip flops and i [TS]

  think it's i think it's literally an [TS]

  atrocity I wow I was gonna get it's [TS]

  worse than him if there's anything worse [TS]

  than Hitler it's a lot of this modern [TS]

  footwear no i'm not in the really the [TS]

  ugg boots [TS]

  it's like you dress like a hooker onto [TS]

  your hook on her day off and not in a [TS]

  good bacon way like yeah that's that's [TS]

  awful Johnny I'm talking about going to [TS]

  laundromat I'm talking about like [TS]

  walking around the mall and flip-flops [TS]

  that's not appropriate [TS]

  basically if you are a girl between the [TS]

  ages of 13 and sixty you should be [TS]

  wearing combat boots at all times haha [TS]

  but but no no Noah but no on navel [TS]

  piercings no piercings of any kind that [TS]

  maybe your piercings right if your [TS]

  Mexican impressed but now you're you're [TS]

  attractive you represent the apex apex [TS]

  of fashion at least in the last century [TS]

  and you're ready to run if shit goes [TS]

  down at the airport you're not going to [TS]

  get in John's way [TS]

  thank you yes ready you not only are you [TS]

  not going to get in my way but if I grab [TS]

  you by the hand and say come with me if [TS]

  you want to live you come with me if you [TS]

  want to live you have you have the [TS]

  appropriate Footwear that we can you [TS]

  know like team up basically environment [TS]

  and airport i'm scanning to see who [TS]

  which girls have combat boots on and [TS]

  then I'm choosing among those who i'm [TS]

  going to use as a maid to repopulate the [TS]

  world and and that I mean this it's a [TS]

  lot like let's get it dr. Strangelove [TS]

  you're going to need that attraction you [TS]

  know especially as you age [TS]

  um you're gonna need an extremely high [TS]

  level maybe an untenable let's be honest [TS]

  unintentionally high level [TS]

  of of sexual attraction in order for you [TS]

  to be able even do anything toward [TS]

  approaching repopulating the planet [TS]

  yeah i mean that's a big responsibility [TS]

  let me ask you this and you you that [TS]

  they say this is it this is the last [TS]

  call flight 3515 to to seattle the doors [TS]

  closing you throw your bag you hurl [TS]

  yourself through and right behind you [TS]

  up comes a slender girl both no belly [TS]

  button ring don't in a baby doll with [TS]

  big ass combat boots are and she gets up [TS]

  she dusts herself off as she says I i [TS]

  win [TS]

  she's almost certainly a SMERSH agent I [TS]

  really stopping there [TS]

  haha [TS]