Roderick on the Line

Ep. 31: "Our Orange Franklin"


  hello hey John [TS]

  hi Marilyn how's it going good [TS]

  yeah that's early literally I don't have [TS]

  enough coffee i just got a coffee but I [TS]

  don't like it's like a coffee [TS]

  yeah I have that problem a lot but I am [TS]

  I can look I can overlook at in [TS]

  situations like this work early [TS]

  seems like in your line of work you [TS]

  first of all I mean as as well again I [TS]

  wouldn't cut this out if we have to but [TS]

  a man of your stature who's learned to [TS]

  harden himself to the world in so many [TS]

  unnecessary ways it seems to me that in [TS]

  your line of work you can't afford to [TS]

  become a coffee snob right you're [TS]

  surrounded by by a certain kind of [TS]

  coffee snobbery and yet as a man you [TS]

  don't know we're gonna wake up tomorrow [TS]

  you might need to go on the run [TS]

  you might need to go play a gig [TS]

  somewhere you might be a holiday inn [TS]

  express em right you need your coffee [TS]

  right now right [TS]

  you need your coffee but you can't sit [TS]

  around and spend three hours i tried to [TS]

  find an artisanal coffee place i might [TS]

  be a holiday inn express where the [TS]

  breakfast consists of a crescent [TS]

  actually a little piece of the moon a [TS]

  crescent and son some some jam and jelly [TS]

  but that is all sort of in the marmalade [TS]

  family no no raspberry jam just like [TS]

  orange Jam can just be really honest 50 [TS]

  john and i want to live on any fucking [TS]

  continent where that's a breakfast i'm [TS]

  afraid that the only place that that is [TS]

  a breakfast is in the American middle [TS]

  section really like if you go to Europe [TS]

  you can europe with numerous times you [TS]

  go and that's that is that the titular [TS]

  continent of the breakfast is that is [TS]

  that accurate [TS]

  yes well be so the continental breakfast [TS]

  that does have the patience or even the [TS]

  word makes me angry and hungry [TS]

  it does have these elements except it [TS]

  has been perverted and pasteurized in [TS]

  America in in Europe the continental [TS]

  breakfast has fresh orange juice part of [TS]

  delicious coffee a hard-boiled egg some [TS]

  blood sausage maybe a piece of a like [TS]

  calf brain sliced thin and then there is [TS]

  a not a crescent roll but like [TS]

  a call Saul or a hard brown nutty roll [TS]

  some kind of German you know like [TS]

  doorstop role does the store stop in the [TS]

  store stopping and then several platters [TS]

  of a of you know that kind of meat that [TS]

  has olives and pistachios in it [TS]

  yeah you're talking about me it'sit's [TS]

  yes yes so it's almost like a breakfast [TS]

  and pasto yeah precisely yeah a ipod [TS]

  nano breakfast on the continent is a [TS]

  wonderful thing but here in America and [TS]

  help breakfast is some minute maid and a [TS]

  crescent with some marmalade well and [TS]

  there's you don't get an egg [TS]

  now that's the whole point they would [TS]

  then that I think they would a priori [TS]

  say that that is no longer a continental [TS]

  breakfast because that what you just [TS]

  difference on the car there's three [TS]

  things you just described about a [TS]

  preference on the continent 900 [TS]

  understand you're not going to get thin [TS]

  slice calf brains everywhere you may [TS]

  have to accept like a lamb or something [TS]

  but you three things they thought ahead [TS]

  they tried they spent money and I think [TS]

  those three things are completely absent [TS]

  from what they call a continental [TS]

  breakfast in America because it seems to [TS]

  me that you don't need to think ahead [TS]

  these Ivy you don't have to prepare very [TS]

  much [TS]

  you don't have to do things like get [TS]

  oranges to squeeze you certainly don't [TS]

  have to try you just have to get a [TS]

  retiree to come in 25 which she probably [TS]

  do anyway we're here [TS]

  this is it says she and and spend spend [TS]

  money you got us been a little too if [TS]

  you want to have a kid if you don't have [TS]

  a you know a calf brain you got to find [TS]

  a calf and a lot of people are going to [TS]

  that seven in the morning [TS]

  generally in Germany what you have that [TS]

  you don't have here in America is that [TS]

  you have frauen math you have these [TS]

  frauen whoo-hoo [TS]

  they are Frau's just translate frown [TS]

  into English ok and further Frau's and [TS]

  they they take a little pride in what [TS]

  they're doing they're wearing some like [TS]

  a costume and they have sometimes they [TS]

  would a daily in their hair and they [TS]

  come in they make sure that you're [TS]

  comfortable they make sure that you have [TS]

  enough coffee like you don't ever sit [TS]

  there like a totality engagin [TS]

  mm no I'm sorry about various just say [TS]

  but Varian for help for is that right so [TS]

  it's a it's a very informal help for we [TS]

  don't have those in America you know now [TS]

  step we just have all the ladies here is [TS]

  that you know this is funny your word [TS]

  guy but you know as soon as you said you [TS]

  know Franklin right that's the plural [TS]

  that's women with my front line is is a [TS]

  girl throw line [TS]

  yeah throw line okay and then you know [TS]

  in in America we have all kinds of words [TS]

  for women that have different you know [TS]

  connotations some of them silly some of [TS]

  them and but then you know I heard about [TS]

  in France maybe this is just one city in [TS]

  France but I heard that they gave not [TS]

  only done away with Mademoiselle but [TS]

  they banned Mademoiselle have your one [TS]

  now craw it's it's it's it's only sir [TS]

  lala salama damn now you're either a [TS]

  monster or you're my damn Mademoiselle [TS]

  was seen as I think being you know that [TS]

  diminutive what's the word that you [TS]

  something insulting you know it's a it's [TS]

  like it's like it would be like calling [TS]

  somebody a girl or you know what I mean [TS]

  or or try to give a good example [TS]

  well miss in America I like Miss yeah [TS]

  but it but remember there was a whole [TS]

  movement to replace it with moves MIT [TS]

  layout and now look at you last time you [TS]

  consciously use the word mins [TS]

  oh I i hate use miss and ms both very [TS]

  often and for completely opposite [TS]

  reasons to use moves as a YouTube ms [TS]

  like ironically nice to meet you Miz [TS]

  we'll see [TS]

  excuse me move these and you're standing [TS]

  on my white loafer I think Miz is the [TS]

  young woman's version of dr. right if [TS]

  you call it call anybody dr. very few [TS]

  people are gonna be mad if you call them [TS]

  doctor so I like this on and learn this [TS]

  put this church which I know you didn't [TS]

  go to which I don't want to get into [TS]

  been to church if you never know what to [TS]

  call somebody in anybody especially like [TS]

  an old man thinks is important you [TS]

  always call him doctor because he's [TS]

  probably one of those dipshits that's [TS]

  god bless him speak [TS]

  who's been to the seminary mm well I see [TS]

  that right [TS]

  no but here's the thing and this is very [TS]

  widely accepted at least in the Midwest [TS]

  in the you know the church of christ [TS]

  area and you call you call your Minister [TS]

  of that area though where the river [TS]

  comes through town and right and just do [TS]

  the guilt falls right off the trees you [TS]

  call you call your Minister Dr they [TS]

  called the land of milk and apologies [TS]

  huh and so you say your ministry you say [TS]

  what you just said you know there's this [TS]

  one guy who's like insisting on being [TS]

  dr. Cottle and he was like he was he was [TS]

  the the the wise man of our church she [TS]

  was like the head of the elders yeah the [TS]

  elders and you get deacons it's kind of [TS]

  like they congress right [TS]

  the elders are like the Senate and the [TS]

  deacons are kind of like you know the [TS]

  house of Congress and their the [TS]

  governing body and then you got the the [TS]

  head Minister which is you know [TS]

  obviously like the President and so [TS]

  anyway but being a doctor Carter all you [TS]

  call mr. Connell you'd be in trouble [TS]

  I'll be calling like calling you know [TS]

  somebody with a PhD mr. it's just not [TS]

  done right so here's what here's the [TS]

  thing you meet somebody especially in [TS]

  these religious circles are obviously in [TS]

  the in circles of the academia you call [TS]

  from a dr. you never go wrong worst case [TS]

  that are they saying no you know dr. [TS]

  Katz is my father's name call me John or [TS]

  whatever right now with a lady if you [TS]

  call her ms if it's a young lady a woman [TS]

  young woman not done over girl you call [TS]

  her and call her to call her mrs. Katz [TS]

  she's gonna be happy to call Miss cats [TS]

  your open your open a whole box of cats [TS]

  sure you sure are where my dad's version [TS]

  of that was to call everybody counselor [TS]

  said that's awesome there was a ninety [TS]

  percent chance that everybody he met on [TS]

  the street was a lawyer look so you go [TS]

  all right counselor there is our well i [TS]

  finally go around the back i finally go [TS]

  around the bend and started happening [TS]

  the hobo that I clearly want to be and I [TS]

  really lose and start throwing fucking [TS]

  rice birds i'm gonna start calling [TS]

  everybody your honor when I go to the [TS]

  KFC and demand my free chicken and eat [TS]

  angrily i'm going to say that I get your [TS]

  order [TS]

  yeah like your highness now let's come [TS]

  back to someone come back to your [TS]

  highness and what's this two of those [TS]

  there's your hot and your highness and [TS]

  your majesty and I don't know the [TS]

  difference between those are going to [TS]

  get back to that ok sorry I'm talking a [TS]

  lot because i have i mentioned another [TS]

  program i have a pinched nerve and I'm [TS]

  in excruciating pain [TS]

  right now you could tell kitchen also [TS]

  you're trying to talk away the pain I've [TS]

  done for 45 years and has no I'm sorry [TS]

  you have a printer better very painful [TS]

  could go back to that I'd like to get [TS]

  your advice because i don't mean to do [TS]

  synergy between programs but I there was [TS]

  no suggestion i do acupuncture like a [TS]

  circle back to that and here's the thing [TS]

  you're in a restaurant you get a frow [TS]

  you got you got a comedian far out how [TS]

  do you say that in 304 out a like on [TS]

  Spencer's not have some fro and it's so [TS]

  if it's a like eight ish thish is male [TS]

  right to take the tables boy [TS]

  yeah beer you've already exceeded my [TS]

  useful German i can say is a slide beer [TS]

  danke I can spit current email fucking [TS]

  the station house [TS]

  mmm i learned how to say i'm going to [TS]

  ask where things are the attack was the [TS]

  word the word current senior vagan [TS]

  vocally attack [TS]

  ya know I have my German is just sits [TS]

  confined to the absolute minimum good at [TS]

  least listen to people talk German oh [TS]

  gosh you know jerm jerm you know why I'm [TS]

  not gonna go ping pong [TS]

  I'm just saying three languages three [TS]

  languages oh thanks to them everybody's [TS]

  or everybody sounds mad [TS]

  no matter what oh right i don't see if [TS]

  you can get some one of them Germans [TS]

  that's where the other two and one of [TS]

  them technically a culture with two [TS]

  languages and the third one is a culture [TS]

  whose former incarnation had 10 times [TS]

  would like to try and guess first one is [TS]

  German what is the second one a stand-up [TS]

  comedian [TS]

  what is the deal with the former Soviet [TS]

  Union figure out stand-up comedians is [TS]

  that their delivery [TS]

  the only other time that human-being [TS]

  speak that way is when they're furious [TS]

  what what is the deal what is the deal [TS]

  like Ally the rocket scientists that are [TS]

  coming up it's it's like they speak that [TS]

  they have a big smile on their face but [TS]

  they are they're talking like we just [TS]

  hit their car [TS]

  okay number two um this is kind of true [TS]

  with Cantonese but it's really true with [TS]

  mandarin i really enjoy I i try to ask [TS]

  people to try to explain this to me [TS]

  because there's a musicality to a [TS]

  certain [TS]

  it sounds really stupid because I don't [TS]

  speak mandarin it's really hard to speak [TS]

  mandarin i've learned just enough to say [TS]

  shot but between two people speak [TS]

  mandarin it's it's beautiful like when [TS]

  there seems to be like a familiar [TS]

  version of mandarin it's very musical [TS]

  ever noticed this is it will take that [TS]

  high but that's got a really beautiful [TS]

  sound to it but isn't isn't Mandarin a [TS]

  tonal language of super tonal yes you so [TS]

  it is it's the pitch you might need to [TS]

  say you might mean to say fri waitress [TS]

  and say you're your cock sucker [TS]

  sure just because you changed your [TS]

  register a tiny bed yeah that's it [TS]

  that's amazing I I am I i would I will [TS]

  never understand how to speak a tonal [TS]

  language no but when folks every three [TS]

  hours because i'm a nice big indie rock [TS]

  that's that's extremely don't know food [TS]

  okay the third ones Russian Russian [TS]

  people always want yelling at each other [TS]

  so the indie rock is a tonal language [TS]

  Russian people are always yelling at us [TS]

  we used to go to a why we had a ymca [TS]

  before we had a child and didn't have [TS]

  time to do anything we go to the y530 [TS]

  the morning go to why we do our workout [TS]

  and I would go and sit in the sauna [TS]

  where everyone would spit and that's [TS]

  Russian and Chinese people by the way [TS]

  that's a commonality through all the [TS]

  cultures and lots of spinning right [TS]

  writing floor in front of you and into [TS]

  guys who are obviously was always very [TS]

  kind of heavy like big big Russian guys [TS]

  russian guys are big a lot of time and [TS]

  you tell your pals but but they sounded [TS]

  like they're trying to split a woman I [TS]

  mean it was their furious it sounded [TS]

  furious but that's just that's how the [TS]

  language that you know it is that [TS]

  consonant sound so much consonant sound [TS]

  in Russian and German you think [TS]

  well yeah but our but it may also be [TS]

  that the the culture is one of of like [TS]

  argumentative pneus there's lots of [TS]

  languages like this Italian people you [TS]

  know famously in in stereotypes talk [TS]

  with this do you think there's any [TS]

  language everybody sounds like they're [TS]

  getting along is that Bellingham ease [TS]

  where everyone sounds like they're [TS]

  getting along and i have never heard [TS]

  what when you are in Scandinavia it is [TS]

  and people are talking it's it's just [TS]

  like the sound of a well-oiled machine [TS]

  is it really sound like the like the way [TS]

  they make fun on prairie home companion [TS]

  is really very different very different [TS]

  is really like that one eternity swedish [TS]

  chef I'm trying to subtly to it but when [TS]

  i was very slow whenever they have like [TS]

  a Lutheran minister for sand [TS]

  yeah just hire definitely defeated in [TS]

  sounds very like that [TS]

  yeah it's a pretty close no no it'sit's [TS]

  more German sounding than that [TS]

  ok it's not it's not quite so blue blue [TS]

  blue but but but you know they don't [TS]

  they don't raise their voices really at [TS]

  each other I think it's a lot of things [TS]

  you can get wrong and it doesn't require [TS]

  tonality the other example let's say [TS]

  you've got you've got to compete for out [TS]

  and you would like a little bit more [TS]

  foster and so you can you call to the [TS]

  lid to the waitron at your restaurant [TS]

  now here's the thing and what do you say [TS]

  like if there's a lady in her fifties at [TS]

  a Waffle House and you want her to come [TS]

  over to the counter and we'll give you [TS]

  some more of that coffee they got what [TS]

  if you would like to get her attention [TS]

  ok you're right you're always i say miss [TS]

  that's exactly what I say there's no [TS]

  other thing you need to say that Miss [TS]

  because miss is the waitress version of [TS]

  ms yeah sure you see Miss because if you [TS]

  say madam like what the fuck does that [TS]

  mean for lady or my grandfather used to [TS]

  do you don't do that that's my [TS]

  grandfather tri-gate you say miss [TS]

  because it's based on the on the [TS]

  old-fashioned assumption that if you are [TS]

  a fifty-year-old waitress it's because [TS]

  you never found a husband and this is [TS]

  why it's good to know this story because [TS]

  here's the thing [TS]

  old people like people like to act like [TS]

  they're young and young people like to [TS]

  act like they're important right well I [TS]

  put that poor because i have an [TS]

  extraordinary amount of pain right now [TS]

  but don't stop people like to feel young [TS]

  right and young people like to feel [TS]

  important and so we would like to feel [TS]

  like you think they're young young [TS]

  people like to feel like you're trying [TS]

  to play along with that there's no other [TS]

  person because fuck you do that you go [TS]

  you knew you know when you make the day [TS]

  it's a nice thank you that you orange [TS]

  looks great on your lips but I find that [TS]

  this thing that you're talking about [TS]

  what the young people where they want to [TS]

  feel important to it you can you can [TS]

  really you can put a stop to that pretty [TS]

  fast as you have a couple tricks for how [TS]

  you like to do them [TS]

  I you know when they say something when [TS]

  they went when you say miss and they go [TS]

  um um it's ms or whatever just you just [TS]

  keep looking at him for a while without [TS]

  saying anything back [TS]

  it's not you're not stared at him it's [TS]

  not a hard look is that is they're just [TS]

  there [TS]

  yeah you're just letting that hang in [TS]

  the air for a while so that all the all [TS]

  the other sort of attending thoughts [TS]

  like what what did you just say you know [TS]

  it also says it says it says I'm just [TS]

  here and you know what I'm not thinking [TS]

  about this but now you are but you just [TS]

  let it sit there for a second and then [TS]

  so you share another person might as [TS]

  well have said no please call me [TS]

  Superman or lex luthor 37 no actually [TS]

  it's Lex Luthor and you just sit there [TS]

  with no expression on your face and let [TS]

  them marinate on that form it [TS]

  yeah i mean there are plenty plenty of [TS]

  things that i will that I welcome being [TS]

  corrected on-site gonna get evaluated a [TS]

  very small card for this i'm guessing [TS]

  and guessing planning means almost none [TS]

  but there are certain other plenty [TS]

  plenty of things that I did that I that [TS]

  I am better welcome correction but what [TS]

  people people in the world who the [TS]

  second guess my word choice that is one [TS]

  that I i really i do not welcome other [TS]

  people's input into the words that I [TS]

  have chosen you know what I mean like I [TS]

  choose I choose my words and then it's [TS]

  not like a I don't need I don't need a [TS]

  copy editor like standing out on the [TS]

  other side with a liquor you know some [TS]

  kind of commentary i feel that i feel [TS]

  that way sometimes because I but don't [TS]

  worry I'm very careless and fast talking [TS]

  about a lot of things but sometimes I've [TS]

  chosen a word very carefully because it [TS]

  means not only does it mean this thing [TS]

  as closely as possible to what I'm stuck [TS]

  trying to say but perhaps more [TS]

  importantly it doesn't mean these ten [TS]

  different things and that's why didn't [TS]

  choose any of those 10 different words [TS]

  yeah yeah i said i had was in a [TS]

  conversation with a with the young lady [TS]

  the other day I said I wasn't a [TS]

  freightliner I'm not without it was a [TS]

  Miss ok and and I said something to the [TS]

  effect of where i was talking about a [TS]

  third person I was like you know he's a [TS]

  really nice guy better [TS]

  is it you know it is his arrogance gets [TS]

  in his way sometimes and she said don't [TS]

  you mean his excitability what's that [TS]

  doesn't that doesn't make a lick of [TS]

  sense [TS]

  no it doesn't but she was trying to [TS]

  because it's self-importance she could [TS]

  have said pride she was trying to find [TS]

  she was changing the topic is what the [TS]

  fuck she was doing was trying to steer [TS]

  me in the direction of being nice and if [TS]

  you don't you don't you mean enthusiasm [TS]

  yeah and in the process of trying to do [TS]

  that she was also like that you know [TS]

  butchering the meaning of what i was [TS]

  saying whatever but you but that kind of [TS]

  corrective that way that you would talk [TS]

  to a kindergartener whatever you know [TS]

  there's a visible surprisingly common [TS]

  now and I i did that thing right [TS]

  I just SAT there expressionless and the [TS]

  room got quiet and I said I know the [TS]

  difference between those two words and I [TS]

  can't stand with you that my guest and [TS]

  then she she looked down into her lap [TS]

  they say anyway we're at along i think [TS]

  you meant to send it to say I'm sorry [TS]

  let's a as as joss whedon would say [TS]

  let's get in a time machine and go back [TS]

  30 seconds before you said that [TS]

  what's that from I just read that in [TS]

  Wired magazine the other day some some [TS]

  guy it was you know some guidance [TS]

  production staff said right here i think [TS]

  we should put a line with it where he [TS]

  says like I'm getting too old for this [TS]

  shit [TS]

  sweet and said let's get in a time [TS]

  machine and go back 30 seconds before [TS]

  you told me where a line should go [TS]

  before you said that the line should be [TS]

  I'm getting too old for this shit that's [TS]

  that that's a lot of wonderful way for a [TS]

  person in power to say something that's [TS]

  really good [TS]

  yeah because it's so much nicer than [TS]

  your an idiot right you don't like [TS]

  throwing your coffee in his face [TS]

  this year you're fired [TS]

  who is this guy like a lot of people [TS]

  secretly one time machines it makes me [TS]

  crazy [TS]

  I mean I have a it makes us do not have [TS]

  a time machine it makes you nuts that [TS]

  people want time machine I don't get [TS]

  that doesn't talk about politics but you [TS]

  know just people man fucking people [TS]

  people service that's it helpful [TS]

  ok so you don't think ahead you've got [TS]

  friends not your highness Your Majesty I [TS]

  can probably just look this up if you [TS]

  ever dealt directly with royalty in your [TS]

  quarters of power you know well TTYL t [TS]

  monarchy you use different words for [TS]

  this as well you are you a few episodes [TS]

  ago you refer to a barren and is not [TS]

  somebody who can't have children but [TS]

  somebody who is part of the European [TS]

  yeah i think he said aristocracy right [TS]

  aristocracy monitor these are different [TS]

  terms of what is what is an aristocrat [TS]

  risk the Aristocats what is the way [TS]

  so what is an aristocrat somebody born [TS]

  born into 10 to power with blood [TS]

  yeah an aristocracy is that is a as a as [TS]

  part of the lola garki the the ruling [TS]

  tribes a monarch is a is a king or ruler [TS]

  a single a single love pontiff right the [TS]

  higher the hot guy guy the normal one or [TS]

  two out workout or or gal you're right [TS]

  you're absolutely right or gal stock but [TS]

  they you know the there are a lot of [TS]

  words that to describe all this all the [TS]

  all the permutations of like born born [TS]

  class and they can get very confusing [TS]

  you can say you can kind of say the [TS]

  wrong thing pretty fast in that world [TS]

  right the only time you know like most [TS]

  Americans I was um I've always been [TS]

  fascinated by European nobility and I [TS]

  like em overawed by it in one way in the [TS]

  sense of like wow really [TS]

  yarra your Viscount how man [TS]

  cool i think you meant to say Vikan [TS]

  uh-huh [TS]

  but on the other hand like I'm an [TS]

  American right so the second that [TS]

  somebody stepped in front of me my in [TS]

  line at the post office because they [TS]

  were you know because they were an [TS]

  aristocrat I would be like what no way I [TS]

  step to the side fool but I was in a [TS]

  little town in germany at one point and [TS]

  was you know is casting in my hotel room [TS]

  and it was afternoon and I heard I heard [TS]

  the dulcet tones of some tubas off in [TS]

  the distance and you know nothing [TS]

  attracts me nothing gets me down out of [TS]

  my hotel room like the sound of tubas in [TS]

  a small german town because when the [TS]

  Germans get the tubas it's something's [TS]

  gonna happen you know what I mean that [TS]

  is that's how they get going that's how [TS]

  that Sami starts with two mins that's [TS]

  how the shit starts in Germany and flew [TS]

  boom boom boom boom [TS]

  and if you hear that off in the distance [TS]

  you're like ok they're getting there [TS]

  later hosing on and they are loading [TS]

  their gun pretty soon they're gonna be [TS]

  retailing the factories so I come down [TS]

  my hotel room and i'm walking around [TS]

  this town i'm following the sound of the [TS]

  tubas and and they're all coming from [TS]

  behind this tall wall i'm i'm going to [TS]

  circle around this wall trying to find a [TS]

  way in and pretty soon I kind of find [TS]

  this town hall building and go through a [TS]

  gate and overhead or whatever and I find [TS]

  I get into this this this big yard and [TS]

  the yard is full of guys all dressed in [TS]

  these pretty elaborate costumes and the [TS]

  tubes are going and the beer is flowing [TS]

  and I walk over and you know kind of [TS]

  trying to make myself in conspicuous [TS]

  over on the side and just kind of [TS]

  watching what everybody's doing their [TS]

  they're wearing you know hats with big [TS]

  feathers in them and milk very military [TS]

  uniforms and so I'm standard for a while [TS]

  and I can tell that they that that [TS]

  they're watching me like people are [TS]

  looking at me out of the corner of my [TS]

  eye [TS]

  the corner of their eyes from boom and [TS]

  eventually and I'm just kind of walking [TS]

  around like do to do to do and i noticed [TS]

  the bartender's there you know they have [TS]

  a kind of trailer that serving beer and [TS]

  the bartenders are teenagers to these [TS]

  two teenage boys but 15 years old [TS]

  servant beer and eventually a guy comes [TS]

  over and he's like you know what are you [TS]

  doing here you are you're not from here [TS]

  these teeth speaks a little bit like [TS]

  yeah yeah check 29 he speaks a little [TS]

  bit like like schultz from Hogan's [TS]

  Heroes except the higher pitch that's [TS]

  not saying what are you doing [TS]

  and I said are you know just coming [TS]

  through town he said this is a private [TS]

  event and I was like oh uh I'm sorry you [TS]

  know i believe it was like very it's [TS]

  okay you know you can come have maybe [TS]

  one BR and then then you go because it's [TS]

  this is private and so I he takes me [TS]

  over the bar and you know night I get a [TS]

  coke which everybody thinks it's [TS]

  hilarious [TS]

  now all these guys are talking to me and [TS]

  it and it's and there it is a it's it's [TS]

  shoots and fest who should invest which [TS]

  is a which is the shooting festival [TS]

  where everybody dresses up like a sort [TS]

  of like Napoleon and then they and it's [TS]

  it's like a it's a sort of a summer [TS]

  festival but they have is it a is it a [TS]

  funky number is kind of like we're [TS]

  having a taking the mickey out kind of [TS]

  fun thing or is it is a solemn no no [TS]

  it's very fun they're having a it is a [TS]

  it is a just a big beer drinking [TS]

  occasion which uh which most holidays in [TS]

  Germany are but but but it's kind of a [TS]

  tradition you know it's one of those [TS]

  festivals in Germany where it's rooted [TS]

  in the idea that they're all they're all [TS]

  hunters who and so anyway so I'm I'm [TS]

  they're the shit and fast and then all [TS]

  of a sudden everybody gets really [TS]

  excited and we alternate we're looking [TS]

  back at this city hall thing [TS]

  and on the balcony of the city hall this [TS]

  very well-dressed man steps out with a [TS]

  with an attractive young lady and a [TS]

  couple of little girls and they step out [TS]

  on the balcony and everybody goes our [TS]

  Robert Robert barrar and they all kind [TS]

  of runaround and they get and they they [TS]

  form up in ranks and the guy that it has [TS]

  sort of appointed himself as my my tour [TS]

  guide he's like ah it's the it's the [TS]

  Duke the Duke a real Duke he's like yes [TS]

  it's the Duke and and that and I was [TS]

  like is that the city hall and he's like [TS]

  no that's the Dukes house and this is [TS]

  the big moment you know and the Duke [TS]

  comes out and I learned very shortly [TS]

  that the two teenage boys who are [TS]

  serving beer or the Duke sons how that [TS]

  is not a mini Duke like guys some kind [TS]

  of yeah it's like a petite Duke i know [TS]

  i'm not sure they're the pro probably [TS]

  those two guys right now or down in [TS]

  Kurra Sal somewhere killing American [TS]

  girls on the beach someone HD but a butt [TS]

  so the Duke is there and then all these [TS]

  guys at which they're all the [TS]

  townspeople you know from around this [TS]

  area they all form up in ranks and start [TS]

  marching around the the yard and as they [TS]

  and so they're marching now and they're [TS]

  all drunk and as they walked past the [TS]

  Dukes part portion of the house like [TS]

  they're marching in a square basically [TS]

  marching up and down the square and as [TS]

  they walk past the Duke they break into [TS]

  goose-stepping all come on this YouTube [TS]

  is still playing at this point where I [TS]

  swear to god yes the tubes are playing [TS]

  purpepulons you know there's some other [TS]

  horns and they they're there [TS]

  goose-stepping the only time in my [TS]

  entire life when I've seen like real [TS]

  spending the last 30 years this happened [TS]

  on this happened 10 years ago and you [TS]

  know and it and there's nobody at this [TS]

  party except the people and me I'm the [TS]

  only outside observer and I was really [TS]

  like flabbergasted [TS]

  I was by primarily flabbergasted that I [TS]

  was meeting these [TS]

  these German aristocrats and then the [TS]

  goose-stepping really put it over the [TS]

  top and did that nobody nobody like kind [TS]

  of anyone [TS]

  Russell around kind of uncomfortably no [TS]

  no but as the evening progressed after [TS]

  the goose-stepping and then just turned [TS]

  into like some serious drinking at that [TS]

  point I had many long conversations with [TS]

  those guys about how about how they [TS]

  missed Hitler he wasn't that bad [TS]

  for real too bad about the g is it okay [TS]

  is it a little bit like states rights [TS]

  kind of thing is look the thing is in [TS]

  reading this book and you know how to do [TS]

  everything and you stuff started eating [TS]

  like it or not you start to realize that [TS]

  part of the whole thing with the south [TS]

  is they just didn't like being pushed [TS]

  around [TS]

  sure didn't like their primary but isn't [TS]

  awful that we can talk about this [TS]

  without some kind of like implicit [TS]

  apology it's fucking history people did [TS]

  not like having their livelihood [TS]

  threatened him [TS]

  first of all by anybody nobody nobody [TS]

  likes that right but then the whole idea [TS]

  of of somebody in in the North like [TS]

  telling them that they're wrong [TS]

  modern Christian mm and doing something [TS]

  that must be stopped and then having a [TS]

  law about it stopped pretty poorly with [TS]

  a lot of people in the South setting [TS]

  aside the fact that the only human [TS]

  beings which is not super cool to do em [TS]

  and is that kind of the case here didn't [TS]

  I did they miss the certainty i mean [TS]

  that they missed the snappy outfit where [TS]

  they miss you know it's only strictly [TS]

  didn't miss genocide that doesn't come [TS]

  up you know just the third rail [TS]

  yeah we got nobody driving driving the [TS]

  tri-rail nobody in freaking horse for [TS]

  whatever town is in you know was [TS]

  conscious of genocide there the you [TS]

  talking about people that have lived in [TS]

  the same 600 person town their whole [TS]

  lives right you know they they're just [TS]

  they just remember when they were on top [TS]

  and it always every every person in the [TS]

  world thinks that 30 years ago was [TS]

  better than now [TS]

  or 40 years ago was better than now you [TS]

  know it's it's just that's a really can [TS]

  modern and perhaps contemporary conceit [TS]

  how do you mean well it seems to me that [TS]

  there was a time when people understood [TS]

  for a variety of reasons maybe it's [TS]

  because they didn't read a lot of books [TS]

  about history maybe it's because [TS]

  somebody ever their family had always [TS]

  farmed and they've always had a couple [TS]

  kids die every generation there was [TS]

  probably for for a lot of people for a [TS]

  hundred years things kind of state [TS]

  mostly the same is like they SAT around [TS]

  and let you know I wish Norman Lear was [TS]

  still making TV shows there is there's a [TS]

  lot of you know sameness there is a [TS]

  saying the same hymns you don't mean [TS]

  yeah but there was always I can't [TS]

  imagine that throughout history there [TS]

  wasn't always a guy who came into the [TS]

  town and said it's the latest greatest [TS]

  saddle this is the newest way to make us [TS]

  make a horseshoe and i'm going to [TS]

  revolutionize the way you make [TS]

  horseshoes and as soon as that was that [TS]

  was adopted the new horse she was [TS]

  adopted [TS]

  there was some guy sitting on a hay bale [TS]

  that was like man in my day or [TS]

  shoemaking was a art you know they're I [TS]

  I think you can you improve this because [TS]

  it's already as good as it can get [TS]

  I think sentimentality is basic is a [TS]

  basic human if it wasn't you know you [TS]

  read books going back all the way and [TS]

  people are like boy is there any like it [TS]

  used to be [TS]

  it's just the most common the most [TS]

  common response i think to 2am and that [TS]

  it in America to the the the south by [TS]

  the time of the Civil War you know this [TS]

  conflict between the North and the South [TS]

  had been going on from the very [TS]

  beginning it was already a hundred and [TS]

  fifty years old so the South wasn't just [TS]

  like don't push us around the south will [TS]

  savory savory i mean i started in like [TS]

  what like 1640 something like that it [TS]

  was it you know it's been around for a [TS]

  while but then i'm pretty sure it was in [TS]

  the north in some places for awhile it [TS]

  was just that most if I again I'm not a [TS]

  historian but if i remember correctly [TS]

  it's just that all the northern states [TS]

  had stopped doing it [TS]

  gone you know this is kind of fucked up [TS]

  they had done that pretty long time [TS]

  before the Civil War [TS]

  oh yeah a very long time but the [TS]

  conflict between the North and the South [TS]

  was much it was rooted in in the fact [TS]

  that the South was settled by care i say [TS]

  it aristocracy you know the the people [TS]

  that settled in virginia were generally [TS]

  the second and third sons of royalty in [TS]

  the in the UK who were not in line to [TS]

  inherit the mansion that's like sweat [TS]

  Scotland and stuff like his last [TS]

  Scottish people in the South right well [TS]

  the Scottish people came to the South [TS]

  much later the original Virginians were [TS]

  all from from southern England who and [TS]

  they were you know they were the they [TS]

  were rich they were the Cavaliers they [TS]

  had class they had money they rode [TS]

  horses and they farmed and they were you [TS]

  know they were people they were sword [TS]

  fighters and they were they had [TS]

  gallantry those were the people that [TS]

  settled but you came down for a lady [TS]

  right exactly the people that settled in [TS]

  the north for Puritans and we're very [TS]

  like a had a extremely different culture [TS]

  uh that was very dismissive of that [TS]

  cavalier kind of the kind of gallantry [TS]

  and they were they were much more you [TS]

  know they had they had a work ethic they [TS]

  were industrious and that so that [TS]

  conflict in the in america between the [TS]

  sort of prudish finger-wagging north and [TS]

  the swash buckling South was written in [TS]

  it written in the cards from the very [TS]

  beginning this is a really productive [TS]

  and you should correct me on this if i'm [TS]

  wrong but at one reductive way in my [TS]

  mind but what you're saying is that a [TS]

  lot of people in what we call in North [TS]

  arrived here looking for religious [TS]

  freedom or freedom from religious [TS]

  persecution [TS]

  I wonder if on some level people in the [TS]

  South came here looking for [TS]

  entrepreneurial freedom absolutely other [TS]

  people from the South headed for a long [TS]

  time no interest in breaking ties with [TS]

  the United States or with the with the [TS]

  United Kingdom or I guess England and [TS]

  you know they were just [TS]

  it in the choice was either stay in [TS]

  England and be the third son of the Duke [TS]

  or come to America and be the new you [TS]

  know the new Prince of your 50,000 acre [TS]

  farm in Virginia so totally different [TS]

  cultures and cultures that did not see [TS]

  the CII work attempts with a [TS]

  contemptuous of each other from the very [TS]

  start [TS]

  you know again I think you see that you [TS]

  see that in the continental congress [TS]

  when they're trying to write the [TS]

  Constitution you know the the attitudes [TS]

  of of delegates from the Carolinas vs [TS]

  massachusetts they're just coming from a [TS]

  completely different place [TS]

  yeah it's amazing that could happen at [TS]

  all can return to the sentimentality and [TS]

  think for one second because there's [TS]

  something you talked about man [TS]

  yes please he said something after we [TS]

  stopped recording a few years ago and I [TS]

  wish we could talk more about it because [TS]

  he should just tell the story but is [TS]

  that wonderful a wonderful phrase we've [TS]

  all heard attributed to people who lived [TS]

  under Stalin and people who lived under [TS]

  Mussolini and I remember you tell me [TS]

  which one it is but there's a phrase [TS]

  here right what's that phrase [TS]

  oh yeah right I who I learned this is [TS]

  upfront with the straight version with [TS]

  the straight version everybody knows all [TS]

  the straight version is you know [TS]

  yeah sure Mussolini was was a bastard [TS]

  but at least the trains ran on time [TS]

  right at least the trains run on time [TS]

  that's the thing that everyone always [TS]

  says about fascism it's the it's the the [TS]

  apology for fascism that despite all the [TS]

  concentration camps and despite all of [TS]

  the you know the marching through the [TS]

  streets with torches at least the [TS]

  transform Africa and it's usually in my [TS]

  mind anyway it's spoken in the voice of [TS]

  the oppressed people who shrugged their [TS]

  shoulders in their simple peasant garb [TS]

  and go well it's bad news but at least [TS]

  at least he made the trains run on time [TS]

  rain right and also if it's I think in [TS]

  some ways it's primarily spoken by [TS]

  intellectuals who are trying to find who [TS]

  are trying to say like that that the [TS]

  that the good side of fascism [TS]

  that there is a good side to fascist you [TS]

  know it's a day it's the classic sort of [TS]

  New York response like always the trains [TS]

  run on time it's you can't you can't [TS]

  dismiss dismiss fascism out of hand [TS]

  it's surely think that's what they're [TS]

  saying it's well it's shorthand for [TS]

  shorthand for trying to understand like [TS]

  how did how did how did these systems [TS]

  but seemingly work how was their Soviet [TS]

  they can actually give it is in a given [TS]

  you an excuse for not excuse i think of [TS]

  it as a reasoning for culpability we go [TS]

  like oh my gosh how could people sit [TS]

  around all these awful things happen you [TS]

  know the rape of nanking or I know in [TS]

  their tracks run exactly well you know [TS]

  the peat the reason that people didn't [TS]

  repeal was that they didn't have the you [TS]

  know they didn't write the weapons and [TS]

  the trains run on time right that is [TS]

  exactly right [TS]

  excuse excuse for culpability in any [TS]

  case my friend what my friend Wesley [TS]

  states the author and performer under [TS]

  the name John Wesley Hardin his father [TS]

  is a was a professor and his father [TS]

  lives in Italy and his father had this [TS]

  tremendous insight recently and is [TS]

  speaking to Italians that Wesley [TS]

  communicated to me which was that [TS]

  initially that statement was spoken [TS]

  ironically that the Italians were saying [TS]

  not only did fascism do all these you [TS]

  know commit all these brutalities but [TS]

  the trains didn't run on time the trains [TS]

  have never run our time they didn't run [TS]

  on time for Mussolini in front of it [TS]

  they're not running on time now it was [TS]

  it was spoken ironically at least the [TS]

  train [TS]

  well at least the trains from which [TS]

  completely completely changes the [TS]

  meaning it flips it absolutely upside [TS]

  down and and when one was explained this [TS]

  to me [TS]

  I burst into tears it was so it was so [TS]

  profound the understanding that but that [TS]

  trains never ran on time and that [TS]

  somehow that had been garbled in [TS]

  translation and my entire life people [TS]

  have been saying it to me [TS]

  as you know as this apology for fascism [TS]

  or this excuse for culpability as you [TS]

  say and and to understand that no that [TS]

  was that was meant ironically and always [TS]

  was [TS]

  you would never an Italian would never [TS]

  say that with unconscious of the fact [TS]

  that that that they were being sarcastic [TS]

  i just i cried and cried i was so happy [TS]

  I was so happy and so just devastated [TS]

  like oh my god for the 412 of like just [TS]

  the just the tinge of pronunciation you [TS]

  flew for the 12 that i've been i've been [TS]

  walking around under this [TS]

  misapprehension my whole life is amazing [TS]

  trains never rent on time yeah yeah and [TS]

  you think they you know what we should [TS]

  we should avoid the Hitler talk [TS]

  no no we have been a long time since we [TS]

  talked about Hitler I was thinking about [TS]

  that I was realizing that both the [TS]

  ping-pong and Hitler had largely fallen [TS]

  to the side now trying to decide that [TS]

  you know it's not that it's good or bad [TS]

  was always observing and I was merely [TS]

  observing it [TS]

  I you know i'll talk about it all day [TS]

  now don't get me started [TS]

  yeah I know I know how you feel about [TS]

  Hitler um I've been listening carefully [TS]

  everything you said but I just sent you [TS]

  like I've been also been reading about [TS]

  the different titles for wealthy and I [TS]

  can I just make 11 [TS]

  first of all year you are you are the [TS]

  person I've got this quote from a couple [TS]

  times but you're the one who I free a [TS]

  free quote you having said even Bono has [TS]

  a boss [TS]

  yeah right in the context of saying well [TS]

  you know everybody's got somebody that [TS]

  they've gotta please [TS]

  well you know what in fucking royalty [TS]

  there's always somebody who's over you [TS]

  I'm realizing in in the sense of this [TS]

  page i sent you was what royal noble and [TS]

  chivalric ranks and farcical how many [TS]

  different than what are.what bureaucracy [TS]

  there is to this stuff you think [TS]

  yourself okay well obviously at the top [TS]

  you got a king [TS]

  let's say but you know what you can have [TS]

  a High King a hiking is a king who rules [TS]

  over lesser kings and you're saying [TS]

  yourself will obviously if you're the [TS]

  high king in a charge of other kings and [TS]

  then and then you got the Emperor mm [TS]

  you're the caesar in this cases are you [TS]

  got somebody who's in time and come on [TS]

  that's that that is that's that seems to [TS]

  me like noble inflation [TS]

  well I'm not only that they have a noob [TS]

  Emperor it certainly in Europe you have [TS]

  all those situations where you Queen [TS]

  Victoria and the and + Tsar Nicholas and [TS]

  and Frederick Wilhelm they were all [TS]

  cousins they were like first cousins [TS]

  they all had a bailar the same [TS]

  grandmother [TS]

  I mean how and and you're fighting all [TS]

  the fighting World War one and it's it's [TS]

  like you're your it's like a family [TS]

  dispute and everybody's a little German [TS]

  right is that what it is isn't there a [TS]

  lot like my friend my friend grant I [TS]

  think you've met is from South Africa [TS]

  but he's somehow weirdly related to a [TS]

  German royalty it's like an almost [TS]

  everybody on the planet is somehow [TS]

  almost German royalty i think yeah the [TS]

  Germans had a lot of well that's the [TS]

  amazing thing about it they had a lot of [TS]

  little principalities and little little [TS]

  uh the the nobles their kind of held [TS]

  onto their autonomy a lot longer like [TS]

  the it in the UK there was a the King of [TS]

  England right and he and so you could be [TS]

  you could be the Duke of umbria or [TS]

  whatever but the king was in charge in [TS]

  in in in Germany I think they they [TS]

  maintained they maintained their little [TS]

  borders a lot longer so if you have a if [TS]

  you had a third daughter and you were [TS]

  trying to marry her somebody and and [TS]

  somebody said i am the Prince of [TS]

  Yugoslavia and someone else yeah I'm the [TS]

  you know I'm the Viscount of some German [TS]

  hole-in-the-wall some some bend in the [TS]

  river here in the ring gear i think you [TS]

  picked the German over the Bugis love in [TS]

  general for your third thing I think [TS]

  you're looking two tickets to the [TS]

  journey got some German royalty who [TS]

  wants some French or English land based [TS]

  on everything I've seen on television [TS]

  I'm pretty sure and in films i think [TS]

  you're always start with the German and [TS]

  then you end with a farm somewhere in [TS]

  England or France you know that's [TS]

  accurate at the Catherine about [TS]

  aquitaine you know you got that's but I [TS]

  can't think of any other ones but listen [TS]

  of course that I want to save you some [TS]

  trouble here because not enough to make [TS]

  the same error [TS]

  did you know the distinction between [TS]

  your [TS]

  finest in your Majesty are you aware of [TS]

  this i had to look it up no tell me I [TS]

  see here's the thing and then you get [TS]

  your Royal Highness write your royal [TS]

  majesty and all this stuff here here's [TS]

  the according to wikipedia which is [TS]

  always right [TS]

  this is the distinction Your Majesty is [TS]

  the second person form of address for [TS]

  somebody who is greater than a prince or [TS]

  princess your highness is the second [TS]

  person population which i think is also [TS]

  a mountain chain for someone who is the [TS]

  king or queen [TS]

  I think that's I think that's what it is [TS]

  your highness yeah sounds like maybe you [TS]

  would say to somebody about weed from [TS]

  thank you your highness but what is so [TS]

  who is higher than a prince or princess [TS]

  except for a king [TS]

  well if you like I can go through this [TS]

  we've got you got you got I'm going [TS]

  strictly English and avoid all this this [TS]

  is this Arabic stuff and unwind icons in [TS]

  the Maharajah's and I'm going soft stars [TS]

  in the Caesars in the once you get your [TS]

  you got your kings and your Queens [TS]

  they're pretty high up in a few i'm [TS]

  leaving out the hiking thing is frankly [TS]

  that sounds fucking made up [TS]

  I mean it's kind of like it's kind of [TS]

  like a special olympics of loyalty [TS]

  you're just trying to it's almost like [TS]

  the kim jong-il thing like you just give [TS]

  yourself titles another my caring i [TS]

  think you are in a george RR martin book [TS]

  is a science fiction [TS]

  I don't know I've never read them I just [TS]

  was 420 420 I was hoping that would [TS]

  connect with with our audience our [TS]

  campus is open there we go [TS]

  yes a reference to the thing that I know [TS]

  well you get injures get the kings and [TS]

  queens and then you got the princes and [TS]

  princesses and everything fucking falls [TS]

  apart you got Archduke's Grand Princess [TS]

  Dukes princess doll fans and in Infante [TS]

  and that's with Infante as though the [TS]

  Spanish what the what the what the blood [TS]

  disease electors Marcus's mark graves [TS]

  and Marquis MIT land grades count v [TS]

  kant's fri hairs that's a high-level [TS]

  bear and then you got parents from there [TS]

  you go to baronet dom dom ness nights [TS]

  patricians nobles Esquire and then if [TS]

  you're just a regular fucktard I guess [TS]

  you're a gentleman [TS]

  mhm and I'm just I'm just fucking scan [TS]

  in this this is a very extensive article [TS]

  but there's always ever you know bottle [TS]

  bot we're gonna fit in this bond is a [TS]

  prince [TS]

  no i don't well in in rock-and-roll yeah [TS]

  yeah Bono's a Duke for sure [TS]

  ok so he's got a Duke has a Duchy [TS]

  right the Duke is is I always think of [TS]

  the Duke as being the highest nobility [TS]

  under the royal family under the prints [TS]

  on you know the king and the prince are [TS]

  part of the are the leading family but a [TS]

  Duke is the next highest he has the I [TS]

  mean I guess an Archduke an Archduke [TS]

  function from this is fucking ridiculous [TS]

  Johnny statcom job i moved to california [TS]

  to work at calm and of course it was a [TS]

  debacle but you know you know how I like [TS]

  on The Daily Show [TS]

  I mean I i hope people get this bit but [TS]

  it's a great because every correspondent [TS]

  is a senior correspondent uh-huh right [TS]

  you know we've got our senior you know [TS]

  I'll electoral election food [TS]

  correspondent or whatever and at one [TS]

  point this is this more the great [TS]

  indignity that brought it upon myself in [TS]

  my quote unquote career so as I've been [TS]

  at the dot com and i've been there for [TS]

  the grandson of like approximately like [TS]

  nine months you know and i was making [TS]

  pretty good bank especially if you have [TS]

  a ping-pong table that don't say that [TS]

  it's called table tennis [TS]

  actually that's a funny story is that [TS]

  was when our boss who might as well have [TS]

  had a snidely whiplash mustache in giant [TS]

  bags with dollar signs running out of [TS]

  the place [TS]

  finally he was so used to being like a [TS]

  guy who made the trains run on time that [TS]

  when he keep he had that my boss had to [TS]

  gradually say it had to say to him he [TS]

  didn't gradually say this but he was [TS]

  gradually accepted he said look you know [TS]

  that these people here and working [TS]

  online you know it's California you [TS]

  should you should get some silly stuff [TS]

  for the office and bob was like actually [TS]

  lessons Prince Bob said you know you're [TS]

  kidding me like like a fruit loops [TS]

  dispenser precisely what ya almost that [TS]

  silly but yet understand this is a man [TS]

  who owned all his businesses in Florida [TS]

  uh-huh right in Florida was as united [TS]

  states rights stay any pretty much treat [TS]

  people like states rights you know [TS]

  servants and so with the idea of yes we [TS]

  had a ping-pong table we had 88 in [TS]

  electronic dartboard that made noises [TS]

  mm-hmm and these were brought in and put [TS]

  in in the middle of the room in the same [TS]

  way you know it was it was what I mean [TS]

  it was like it was like some kind of a [TS]

  fat from the sixties kind of thing we [TS]

  could get it you bring it in [TS]

  nobody touches it just takes up space if [TS]

  you're sitting there playing fucking [TS]

  thing or Bob could hear the dartboard [TS]

  going school are like you might as well [TS]

  been sitting there doing bong hits in [TS]

  the office you know but uh but so is [TS]

  this job and you know i was already [TS]

  making pretty pretty ok do for it but [TS]

  like I was greedy and I wanted more and [TS]

  because we had our comm you know IPO [TS]

  cash out yet right and what I was able [TS]

  to negotiate even though i did not have [TS]

  any reports any direct reports no one [TS]

  worked for me I did I was a web producer [TS]

  and I did get a promotion to senior web [TS]

  producer [TS]

  yeah so me and the other web producer [TS]

  but got to be senior producers even [TS]

  though we were the only two web [TS]

  producers right but that's the kind of [TS]

  candy what is called High King of Kings [TS]

  mmm that's so that's a you were you were [TS]

  you're an art students count i think its [TS]

  weak on whatever you know what I love [TS]

  about you though i love that you know [TS]

  all of this shit so well and no [TS]

  seriously no no set aside your [TS]

  mispronunciation I'm sorry to correct [TS]

  you on that 1i fuck you mean I think you [TS]

  mean pass the Dutchie but you've got you [TS]

  so I don't know if I'm I'm getting this [TS]

  right but it seems that you know fucking [TS]

  shit tons about all of this stuff you in [TS]

  your and you don't particularly love any [TS]

  of it like you think it's probably silly [TS]

  that there would be a Duke University [TS]

  great what Fernanda just been a Duke we [TS]

  have stayed out of trouble [TS]

  oh well yeah probably if you just better [TS]

  to he was you know he was next in line [TS]

  just wrapped up right wasn't totally [TS]

  trumped-up how do you mean well I don't [TS]

  know anything much about Walker [TS]

  1accepted the geography of your piece to [TS]

  be much more interesting not before one [TS]

  did more one you got a lot of [TS]

  consolidation that was really confusing [TS]

  and then we can go back to the last few [TS]

  years right [TS]

  oh well after world war one that was the [TS]

  big point the big point of woodrow [TS]

  wilson's like solution to your problem [TS]

  multi-point plan as big as that's right [TS]

  is 12-point plan was woodrow wilson at [TS]

  the end of the war said here's the [TS]

  problem with the world all these [TS]

  different groups of people all these [TS]

  ethnicities don't have autonomy they [TS]

  don't rule their own countries and so [TS]

  we're going to [TS]

  we're going to give everybody like [TS]

  authority over themselves that was his [TS]

  house his initial idea and of course [TS]

  everyone else on the victorious side in [TS]

  world war one did not like that idea at [TS]

  all and they kind of Thornton him but it [TS]

  was the justification they used it as a [TS]

  justification to do what they wanted [TS]

  they perverted his idea and Wilson was a [TS]

  was an innocent and so he just got [TS]

  walked all over but before the war there [TS]

  was no austria was awestruck [TS]

  austro-hungary controlled all of Central [TS]

  Europe and they just dismantled it they [TS]

  just took it apart they took hungary [TS]

  absolutely part they gave part of [TS]

  Hungary to Slovakia part of Hungary to [TS]

  Ukraine part of hungry a big part of [TS]

  hungry to Romania part of hungry too [TS]

  became Yugoslavia part of Hungary and [TS]

  they might have even given part of [TS]

  hungry to Austria and France to France [TS]

  got sliced up like a fucking birthday [TS]

  cake right well they want me don't you [TS]

  have things like saxony or you've got a [TS]

  sexy but you gotta like alone which is [TS]

  kind of German kind of French right [TS]

  strasburg went back and forth many many [TS]

  times after world war one that that area [TS]

  went back to France and then the Germans [TS]

  wanted it back in world war two was a [TS]

  big part of part you know when you when [TS]

  you talk to people in Hungary about [TS]

  World War two [TS]

  it's the it's the most amazing kind of [TS]

  cultural disconnect because every you [TS]

  think coming from America you think [TS]

  everybody's got the same story about [TS]

  World War to write the Germans were bad [TS]

  and then we all fought them the end [TS]

  right I'm it it's a it's a it's a story [TS]

  that we have talked to us from the very [TS]

  beginning and end it you don't really [TS]

  even have space in your American mind [TS]

  for for many different narratives but [TS]

  there are so many different stories [TS]

  about world war two depending on where [TS]

  you are and the Hungarians think of [TS]

  world war two as being a very very very [TS]

  minor [TS]

  episode relative to world war one which [TS]

  is the big war to them and world war two [TS]

  is just a continuation of it because [TS]

  Hitler went to the Hungarians and said [TS]

  I'm going to give you back all the all [TS]

  the land that they took from you and the [TS]

  Hungarians were like whatever you say [TS]

  because we are still really pissed about [TS]

  this when everybody's got it's almost [TS]

  like you know if you go back far enough [TS]

  is setting something on history is [TS]

  written by the victors or whatever I can [TS]

  you know you can you're not taking [TS]

  account stuff like what like Armenians [TS]

  and in Turks you're not taking into [TS]

  account linking all of these really [TS]

  really giant uh things that just [TS]

  affected millions and millions of people [TS]

  that everybody has it isn't like [TS]

  somebody 10 like you say Hitler Hitler [TS]

  was good and there's bad i mean it is [TS]

  very nuanced many people who worked at [TS]

  BWW probably thought it was pretty great [TS]

  em right well and also the Germans that [TS]

  lived in the czech republic or lived in [TS]

  the check part of Czechoslovakia oh yeah [TS]

  they feel like they're going home huh [TS]

  yeah they were like career my friend's [TS]

  name my friend grant who is from and by [TS]

  the way I'm this week i will have to [TS]

  change this into the history section [TS]

  from philosophy and we're going to do [TS]

  that every week I might do that but [TS]

  grant i'm gonna set the grant grant my [TS]

  first met him you know 1986's like oh [TS]

  yeah you felt South Africa you guys must [TS]

  really love the ANC he's like well [TS]

  actually a lot of the people you know [TS]

  think of them as a terrorist [TS]

  organization because a lot of what they [TS]

  did was blowing things [TS]

  it isn't that we think you know it isn't [TS]

  that you know we're sitting here why [TS]

  people and we we love or hate black [TS]

  people it's a lot more complicated and [TS]

  that's because you might be really [TS]

  pulling for apartheid to go away but [TS]

  then you're shit gets blown up a lot [TS]

  more do it than that [TS]

  yeah i mean the the politics in south [TS]

  africa that that keeps me up at night [TS]

  there's so much to so much to not [TS]

  understand about that about that part of [TS]

  the world you know who I blame and can [TS]

  be honest the Dutch Wow one of the [TS]

  numerous reasons i do not want to get [TS]

  started on the Dutch strong words i keep [TS]

  thinking about that lady in the window I [TS]

  really haunts me like I'm sure as I [TS]

  imagined it haunts you and your lady [TS]

  number two I don't bring this up again [TS]

  but your lady number two from Amsterdam [TS]

  yeah [TS]

  once we're gonna talk about besides been [TS]

  pinched nerve there was one other thing [TS]

  we're going to talk about I don't take [TS]

  my pensioner but there was something [TS]

  else we're going to talk about tubas [TS]

  tubas the one with the notecards yeah [TS]

  yeah well you know I've been trying to [TS]

  listen listen carefully don't write it [TS]

  all down trains on time [TS]

  Virginians yeah according to that book [TS]

  picking richmond is the capital was kind [TS]

  of a weird idea but it was it was hard [TS]

  to defend but you know then [TS]

  and again in Richmond let you know what [TS]

  we should talk about poop but I don't [TS]

  mind hotels that did the side sometimes [TS]

  think too much about hotels but you know [TS]

  if you're you know what I like I like a [TS]

  place i like i like a marriott i love a [TS]

  marriott I you know one sure there's [TS]

  going to be bad marriott's bad [TS]

  everything is run by mormons given [TS]

  answers that big portrait of the two [TS]

  Mormons in every marriott I hadn't [TS]

  noticed that i hardly ever stadium area [TS]

  is that right where do you like to stay [TS]

  well you know I've been turned into [TS]

  these Clinton hotels recently cleaned up [TS]

  it clinically Clinton Clinton it's they [TS]

  run all the hotels where you walk in and [TS]

  there's like a there's not just one [TS]

  superfluous to shaped fuck pillow there [TS]

  like four at 0 UT it's a boutique hotel [TS]

  boutique hotel with for free fuck [TS]

  billows per room and some kind of it's [TS]

  not it's not quite ironic art but it's [TS]

  like a framed tarot card on the wall oh [TS]

  god it looks like oh god what's that [TS]

  magazine where it's all horizontal wood [TS]

  well it looks like 12 it's not that's [TS]

  the thing it's not dwell because there [TS]

  are too many for pillows it's a it's [TS]

  like baroque baroque dwell right so it's [TS]

  just blew my mind so first fathers and [TS]

  there's if there is a definitely a [TS]

  tubular fuck pillow indicator where you [TS]

  can walk in the night we know you enjoy [TS]

  a pillow and and so you can go in there [TS]

  first father's these pills all over the [TS]

  bed and so that's part of what [TS]

  distinguishes alcohol as architectural [TS]

  is a level service you see on the [TS]

  homepage there is a picture of a man [TS]

  very happily drizzling honey from a very [TS]

  high height under what looks like a [TS]

  lobster leg and it's super creepy hula [TS]

  captain it's kimpton hotels and [TS]

  restaurants captain captain yeah so it's [TS]

  a chain of like I [TS]

  a boutique II boutique hotels is it the [TS]

  w kind of thing where they get a [TS]

  urine-soaked hobos hotel and then clean [TS]

  up with some green apples [TS]

  yeah that's the same thing sometimes [TS]

  they'll have a bust of a of Benjamin [TS]

  Franklin but they'll paint it orange [TS]

  they took an eternity race what Lauren [TS]

  says it is it is it all your weight is [TS]

  this is Mae right may the month [TS]

  yeah well right now I get good because i [TS]

  can i can say it I i want silence my [TS]

  visit postmodern how you feel about [TS]

  postmodern I don't even know you know [TS]

  when you just said that I don't even [TS]

  know what that means anymore i think i [TS]

  ever knew it you just used to feel like [TS]

  I really knew what that meant [TS]

  of course she did but I you just said [TS]

  that in that way and i'm just i don't [TS]

  have any idea what postmodern means [TS]

  anymore [TS]

  I i I'm not sure I knew what it meant in [TS]

  1988 but I'm definitely sure I don't [TS]

  know what it means now I think that it [TS]

  doesn't mean anything i think it's like [TS]

  farfegnugen can bring you can be perfect [TS]

  nude means the joy of driving and yeah [TS]

  but I mean that's a pretty fucking [TS]

  elastic resource John but what about [TS]

  hospital about hospitality on it was it [TS]

  like hospitality on oh you know i don't [TS]

  think i ever knew and hospitality ah no [TS]

  means but I i did I you know what builds [TS]

  very recently I've never been to Miami [TS]

  who is that considered a hot seat of [TS]

  hospitality know what would you call me [TS]

  i don't know what hospitality and I was [TS]

  hospitality i know i think is the spirit [TS]

  of what they would like you to think [TS]

  you're getting an olive garden oh it's [TS]

  an all of garden is an olive garden [TS]

  thing and as my friend remember which [TS]

  one of my friends I think was a plaid [TS]

  but somebody recently pointed out i had [TS]

  never noticed this in 20-some years of [TS]

  going to olive garden in your head can [TS]

  you imagine what the sign / logo looks [TS]

  like it says olive garden and kind of [TS]

  like green letters always surrounded on [TS]

  all lovey write your ticket scholars [TS]

  right you know you're fucking grapes [TS]

  uh-huh so think about that for a minute [TS]

  whoa mhm and olive garden [TS]

  mhm there are no all of c-notes [TS]

  front know it's got a good i'm looking [TS]

  now at the internet website for them my [TS]

  god this place now let me just say yeah [TS]

  you may heart you might find this hard [TS]

  to believe but i have only ever been to [TS]

  the olive garden one time you're [TS]

  dangerously close to that guy right now [TS]

  i know i don't know the TV turns out it [TS]

  turns out it's something I need to [TS]

  really know about the thing and olive [TS]

  gardens are not uh they said there were [TS]

  that I don't think there was an olive [TS]

  garden in Alaska now in fact i know that [TS]

  there wasn't because I we would have [TS]

  gone to it it would have been more [TS]

  costly there in Hawaii anyway but you [TS]

  know you know I you know I'm surprised [TS]

  with you I mean you enjoy you enjoy a [TS]

  hearty meal I do after I think I [TS]

  mentioned this to you before when I was [TS]

  in college we discovered something that [TS]

  you could order when I say off-the-menu [TS]

  I mean you know what would save on menu [TS]

  as they would say in Germany you can [TS]

  order salad and breadsticks was like six [TS]

  bucks and was unlimited salad [TS]

  breadsticks you get fucking ball of [TS]

  alfredo sauce for a buck or two and four [TS]

  like eight dollars you get free refills [TS]

  and use it for four hours just getting [TS]

  high on breadsticks and free salad [TS]

  refills and putting out Fredo sauce on [TS]

  your salad [TS]

  no no you said a dipping sauce [TS]

  no no you said a dipping sauce [TS]

  I see are you just sitting here with a [TS]

  spoon like a tablespoon now you dip your [TS]

  bread stick in it BTW jerk [TS]

  I'm just surprised because it seems to [TS]

  me that you're a man who can't find my [TS]

  say you're a man who can put away some [TS]

  groceries and i don't mean in a cabinet [TS]

  there's a place here in Seattle called a [TS]

  what the hell is that called [TS]

  mmm the Napoli to do italiano restaurant [TS]

  is a chain 14 madura it's a chain one [TS]

  where they have you know they serve a [TS]

  big platters this of spaghetti [TS]

  what's it called Beppo bit about that [TS]

  but booka you do but Babu and I place [TS]

  this shit happen but about that you look [TS]

  nice that we have you look nice today [TS]

  summit at the one here in town and it [TS]

  was it was one of the silliest meals [TS]

  I've ever had in my life [TS]

  yeah just a fake high service thing yeah [TS]

  yeah I'm we have I I've even marry few [TS]

  times that's one that is the novel olive [TS]

  garden equivalent yeah but it thinks [TS]

  it's putting on airs [TS]

  you know I think we're not olive garden [TS]

  isn't putting on airs but that place was [TS]

  when Adam and Scott and I went it was [TS]

  really expensive and had that you don't [TS]

  even get me started on the fucking fake [TS]

  high surface thing it makes me a plastic [TS]

  but i really hate that whole house the [TS]

  moon was gonna get you anything yeah how [TS]

  about you three Phil literally [TS]

  everything on the table [TS]

  how about you how about you just bring [TS]

  me more of everything without saying a [TS]

  word that's what I'd like more of a [TS]

  dickhead [TS]

  yeah they do the depo they do the thing [TS]

  where as their seating you they walk you [TS]

  through the kitchen [TS]

  how come on has a kind of like mr. [TS]

  Sinatra let's take a walk through the [TS]

  kitchen and I'll show you you know show [TS]

  you where the the raviolis could made me [TS]

  call you the tracking shot at hear me [TS]

  yeah exactly [TS]

  Peter you're made to feel like hey get a [TS]

  table in design a look at the young yeah [TS]

  it actually selling that's because the [TS]

  floor is just is that it's just worn [TS]

  down into a trough from all that after [TS]

  the value of these tourists walking [TS]

  through the quoting jug table up front [TS]

  yeah because you know what I really what [TS]

  I really want to know is that a lot of [TS]

  strangers have passed where my food is [TS]

  being made [TS]

  yeah we're walking through there just [TS]

  sneezing didn't make you wash your hands [TS]

  before you go in [TS]

  no no it's like right inside the front [TS]

  door lock that like if you're if you're [TS]

  like if you're like a dim sum place and [TS]

  you need to go to the bathroom like we [TS]

  don't really have a publication you know [TS]

  but seriously i have explosive diarrhea [TS]

  that was sure you gotta walk through the [TS]

  kitchen right see that's fine that's why [TS]

  I'm going there is a mop bucket that's [TS]

  fine that's a real working kitchen they [TS]

  have this they have this makes so that [TS]

  you could you can't get your hands out [TS]

  to touch the food it's one it's one of [TS]

  those like and here is where Jefferson [TS]

  slept kept keep moving keep moving you [TS]

  know there's like a red have you seen [TS]

  our orange Franklin but it's there's a [TS]

  like a red velvet rope [TS]

  you know John I know you don't feel it [TS]

  strongly I suspect that you do not feel [TS]

  anywhere near as strongly as i put their [TS]

  you know all the things where you get [TS]

  really heated up this is absolutely on [TS]

  my list and it it makes me it makes me [TS]

  completely crazy because you know it is [TS]

  uniformly like a shitty hotel a shitty [TS]

  chain hotel a shitty chain restaurant [TS]

  will cut corners on every conceivable [TS]

  thing and then act like they're doing [TS]

  you a favor [TS]

  mm you know it's all fucking microwaved [TS]

  you know anyway have fucking people i [TS]

  find it very hard to eat in a chain [TS]

  restaurant but here in here in Seattle [TS]

  so for instance there is no there is no [TS]

  outback steakhouse or red lobster or [TS]

  similar or a claim jumpers lame campers [TS]

  any of those places there there are not [TS]

  of those places in seattle proper but [TS]

  they are all located just south of town [TS]

  in the southcenter mall area [TS]

  whatever you give a sclerotic make [TS]

  stuffing tins what about what about that [TS]

  one of what about DJ angina [TS]

  yeah there's a there's a shares as [TS]

  cherries there's a Terry's and there's [TS]

  an apple [TS]

  he is there's a Appleton's they're all [TS]

  on the same road it's like on the walls [TS]

  it's like an autumn alright you got all [TS]

  the shitty like bourbon chicken places [TS]

  all-in-one knowing one fucking pathetic [TS]

  district exactly if it if you can tell [TS]

  me the difference between a claim [TS]

  jumpers and a Outback Steakhouse i will [TS]

  put in with you but they're right next [TS]

  to each other and have like an Outback [TS]

  Steakhouse but Mr well you know you walk [TS]

  into an Outback Steakhouse and its exact [TS]

  same thing that's the girls like hi [TS]

  welcome to the place it down now can i [TS]

  what is the first load of shit i can [TS]

  sell you rein it in the next 45 minutes [TS]

  where I'm going to be super friendly to [TS]

  you as I try and force bloomin onions [TS]

  onions yes and and upgrade you to a mud [TS]

  pie milkshake and then get you the fuck [TS]

  out of here so I can get another load of [TS]

  fat floor 14 chapter four turnovers [TS]

  tonight [TS]

  yeah fair dinkum and so you know going [TS]

  into those places it's just like I just [TS]

  bored it's more damage to my psyche then [TS]

  I mean the food is a terrible i mean i [TS]

  eat up stake at outback steakhouse [TS]

  whatever but but yeah that'll Seattle [TS]

  buddy I don't keep bringing this up but [TS]

  you know first of all we are family that [TS]

  needs to come to Seattle and visit you [TS]

  busted too but you know I'm gonna give [TS]

  you a letter and her to fix el gaucho [TS]

  and we got articles actually got a [TS]

  gaucho oh my god i was out the other [TS]

  night with the some mutual friends of [TS]

  yours and mine some rock positions and [TS]

  how they still a mutual friends [TS]

  yeah absolutely in fact your name came [TS]

  up a with one of the mutual friends he [TS]

  was like I'm gonna call Merlin I'll i [TS]

  miss Merlin ah yeah yeah but we were we [TS]

  were we just got out of the movie we [TS]

  went to see The Avengers at the big at [TS]

  the big Paul Allen owned superplex all [TS]

  have to want the funny letters he took a [TS]

  picture of the simpsons cinerama [TS]

  panorama right and we we were out on the [TS]

  street it was like a there were four [TS]

  guys four for bachelor guys out on the [TS]

  road let's get some steaks and I said [TS]

  let's go to work out but it was not [TS]

  could go down culture so we went up to [TS]

  this one of these new fancy restaurants [TS]

  where the waitresses have neck tattoos [TS]

  but but the stakes are like $45 this is [TS]

  this is the universe itself [TS]

  I mean obviously it's a new thing it's [TS]

  like all right I get you where you're [TS]

  coming from I guess I had a $45 take it [TS]

  at at twelve o'clock at night and it was [TS]

  no el gaucho there was no man in a [TS]

  tuxedo who's cooking that steak on a [TS]

  cigar [TS]

  ok i'll show how does it compare to 13 [TS]

  coins 13 coins that are they going [TS]

  downhill house it's mostly rappers there [TS]

  and then the middle and I 13 coins right [TS]

  13 coins that is definitely like a the [TS]

  clientele is it is part of the fun but [TS]

  but which isn't get you can get a full [TS]

  like fake fancy meal at x three in the [TS]

  morning right through the more you get [TS]

  steak Oscar with the with crab and they [TS]

  weren't wearing tuxedos and suits and [TS]

  stuff right and so it's the 13 coins is [TS]

  the is the go-to if you're if it for me [TS]

  if I want to bring somebody from out of [TS]

  town and show them a restaurant where at [TS]

  three in the morning if you make it gets [TS]

  you can get steak Sinatra with fried [TS]

  clams and and cheese board over it while [TS]

  the guy sitting at the table next to you [TS]

  is wearing a pink suit with Dora this is [TS]

  the guy the boots are very private you [TS]

  can see who's in a booth until you're [TS]

  right next to it and staring into the [TS]

  booth is very awkward but it will [TS]

  frequently be like a small entourage [TS]

  that is obviously there with somebody [TS]

  who is or considers himself a wrapper [TS]

  around ya rapper or Lord star maps the [TS]

  sex professional management professional [TS]

  management sex management professional [TS]

  yeah you often see girls in in very tall [TS]

  lucite shoes right I'm ringside shoes [TS]

  that actually have live goldfish and [TS]

  they still do that case don't do that i [TS]

  don't know i'm sure i've always wanted a [TS]

  pair of everything with you like I think [TS]

  maybe twice and I'm I'm always really [TS]

  really struck and but there is very [TS]

  civil [TS]

  yeah everybody's everybody's on their [TS]

  best behavior but it but lately i have [TS]

  felt the the quality of the food has [TS]

  declined from its former glory of [TS]

  one quart of half and half off [TS]

  everything oh I'd love it [TS]

  I'd like a like a Spanish omelet please [TS]

  alright let's put a quart of half and [TS]

  half and you know it's beautiful there [TS]

  they have a half part is it's half beef [TS]

  and literally have a cream but it's like [TS]

  a two ways huh [TS]

  I I feel like there's they've started to [TS]

  skimp on the half an hour that's no good [TS]

  yeah but i but I that could have just [TS]

  been an off night how to compare to 21 [TS]

  and neck tattoo jazz [TS]

  well the thing about neck tattoo jose i [TS]

  walked in this is this is the thing [TS]

  about Capitol Hill you walk into a place [TS]

  and why wasn't i wasn't my foot wasn't [TS]

  even in the door before somebody was [TS]

  like John hey you know I'm so I'm [TS]

  walking down the middle because that's [TS]

  just simply because your rock and roll [TS]

  celebrity because that's like your old [TS]

  neighborhood the old neighborhood and if [TS]

  it's if it's a new restaurant with $45 [TS]

  takes and the waitresses have neck [TS]

  tattoos [TS]

  it's a pretty safe bet that that's going [TS]

  to be full of people didn't they [TS]

  probably know and/or hate you [TS]

  yeah you know actually a very [TS]

  interesting experience later on at night [TS]

  who I was standing out in front of a of [TS]

  a rock club and people were pouring out [TS]

  and a little group of people gathered [TS]

  who decided that they were they actually [TS]

  constituted a club which was the I hate [TS]

  John Roderick club [TS]

  there's our little like fear for guys [TS]

  were like we all hate you but they uh [TS]

  they just said they would they leave [TS]

  they wouldn't go away they stood there [TS]

  and wanted attention that's so creepy [TS]

  i wiII you know we're mad at you i don't [TS]

  like that time what you're talking about [TS]

  that's the real talk about this before [TS]

  the I know everything you like to do to [TS]

  reach the creepy email like I get this [TS]

  at that place's and it's like the person [TS]

  who's like hey how's it going [TS]

  we know everything you do and here's for [TS]

  jokes about that but your dick [TS]

  yeah well it's really really nice [TS]

  meeting you but I have to go kill myself [TS]

  in another part of the building right [TS]

  now but I'm gonna here's the thing [TS]

  though this is really it's great to meet [TS]

  you I'm so glad you've taken the time [TS]

  but I'm going to find a stroke in a [TS]

  minute and i would like you to go get [TS]

  fake help and I'm going to run away cuz [TS]

  it wasn't a stroke [TS]

  in your insane yeah that's nice now the [TS]

  thing is John here's the thing in all [TS]

  boils but to say something like I said [TS]

  it has been set turns out [TS]

  turns out it has been said not by me [TS]

  let's put it this way [TS]

  yeah I i'm talking about women but i'm [TS]

  gonna say it's all about all people that [TS]

  sometimes people people one way that you [TS]

  can you can get to somebody whether it's [TS]

  to make them pay attention to you this [TS]

  is a classic kind of those fucktards in [TS]

  the seduction community all you don't [TS]

  have to make somebody like you or love [TS]

  you you just have to make somebody feel [TS]

  strongly about you [TS]

  mmm this is this is one thing and this [TS]

  is probably way so many women have the [TS]

  have the terrible taste to be to be [TS]

  obsessed with you [TS]

  Emmy for everybody involved it's a [TS]

  terrible terrible idea to be obsessed [TS]

  with you but you know I'm saying and you [TS]

  certainly had this experience you know i [TS]

  mean because a lot of people will trust [TS]

  me you try and read and reach a person [TS]

  by saying oh I'm going to give you this [TS]

  one pole of the feeling strong thing I'm [TS]

  trying to make you love me but the thing [TS]

  is you know the opposite of love is [TS]

  indifference you know it's not hate [TS]

  right and so if you make somebody but [TS]

  you get somebody good fucking man in [TS]

  this case you got these you guys get [TS]

  these little motorcycle boys out here [TS]

  trying to act all tough about you but [TS]

  know what you really you're going to [TS]

  fucking have like a human with John [TS]

  Roderick haters club like that takes a [TS]

  lot of goddamn work what are you the [TS]

  secretary/treasurer of your pants [TS]

  asshole but take that fucking hat would [TS]

  you be doing the problem with the jar [TS]

  aggregators club is that the purpose of [TS]

  your focus of your anger in this case [TS]

  nominally John Roderick doesn't care [TS]

  exactly so yeah that's right yes [TS]

  yeah you know what if I had any idea who [TS]

  you are i might have to consider whether [TS]

  this is something i need to think i'm [TS]

  pretty sure this is not going to impede [TS]

  my progress down the sidewalk it's like [TS]

  it's like a cat is the cat the cat is [TS]

  like plz notice me so I can ignore you [TS]

  know the cat comes into the room and [TS]

  will not be happy until you notice it so [TS]

  that it can then transitively ignore you [TS]

  and that the same thing with these [TS]

  little boys how old are they [TS]

  these animal indie-rockers oh no no I [TS]

  bit young indie-rockers don't don't [TS]

  the young entry in New Yorkers are are [TS]

  mostly respectful not usually as you [TS]

  like they're orange Franklin yeah that's [TS]

  right these are the [TS]

  middle-aged indie-rockers who have lived [TS]

  long enough to imagine that they have [TS]

  some beef with me [TS]

  they then I did something to them at [TS]

  this point oh they're trying they're [TS]

  trying to make you steam [TS]

  well they're just trying they're trying [TS]

  to express the thing they're trying to [TS]

  express the like the I remember when [TS]

  your band opened for my band energy [TS]

  oh that is not what I expect I'm sorry I [TS]

  apologize i thought these were going to [TS]

  be kids in skinny jeans you're talking [TS]

  about about people who have profound [TS]

  personal problems and they smell like [TS]

  cats and other people think the young [TS]

  kids in skinny jeans they come up and [TS]

  give me one white rose [TS]

  I mean they're very they're all very [TS]

  good you know that even if it has a [TS]

  simple as a symbol of the evidence of [TS]

  the French Resistance right yeah you [TS]

  think even if they go home and they're [TS]

  like you know mad about music or [TS]

  something like that they appreciate that [TS]

  you are you where you consider an elder [TS]

  statesman in seattle going on i'm [TS]

  genuinely an old man to them get out [TS]

  there just like Oh swami you know oh [TS]

  hello old person here is a I brought you [TS]

  a flower [TS]

  it's like Dylan going to visit Woody [TS]

  Guthrie yeah no it's just the old it's [TS]

  just the like the the guys that are 35 [TS]

  to 45 who I have been playing guitar for [TS]

  a long time some of them have been very [TS]

  successful but for whatever reason they [TS]

  feel like it isn't even a case where I [TS]

  stole their girlfriend it's just a case [TS]

  of like I shouldn't I shouldn't have I [TS]

  shouldn't be entitled to be the way I am [TS]

  let me just be clear should be there are [TS]

  people whose girlfriends I have stolen i [TS]

  just want to be very clear that this is [TS]

  not the case here probably not the case [TS]

  now while you're your dining partner can [TS]

  you imagine how it must be for him [TS]

  because it's so it becomes so hip to you [TS]

  know and don't eat enough the kids say [TS]

  hip anymore they probably say you know [TS]

  you know it's delicious or something ok [TS]

  hit but they but when they accidentally [TS]

  put like seven P's of the end you see I [TS]

  could see them actually having won t but [TS]

  then it's all lower case and has 14 [TS]

  inches announce them doing that [TS]

  have you noticed this about you know i [TS]

  don't i don't understand what is so [TS]

  fucking hard about using [TS]

  in this case yeah nothing about multiple [TS]

  letters multiple letters sticks they're [TS]

  doing this thing where they were every [TS]

  word has like so a word like hip which [TS]

  has three letters they write it with 15 [TS]

  letters but they're all just hhhh iiii [TS]

  people but it doesn't it is I don't [TS]

  think mint condition like a rage comic [TS]

  by no I don't think it is i don't think [TS]

  it's me yeah is that nobody hit the [TS]

  pop-up damn it sounds like you're [TS]

  describing the medical privacy law [TS]

  Piplup haha i don't understand it but I [TS]

  see it all the time now [TS]

  yeah the young people and but when you [TS]

  talk to them they speak like normal you [TS]

  is that I i think that's it I gotta tell [TS]

  you I I never saw this coming John I [TS]

  think it was a tough transition but I [TS]

  I'm so happy to be at a point where you [TS]

  look down my nose at this stuff [TS]

  it feels so good it feels so it's like [TS]

  becoming you know they say a lot of [TS]

  women don't really discover their time [TS]

  so I'm gonna say when they see a lot of [TS]

  people don't really discover their true [TS]

  power in life until they stop being in [TS]

  the game as based on their sexual [TS]

  attraction that a lot of people that [TS]

  when I mean women did they get super [TS]

  powerful after they get like menopause [TS]

  like you know what fuck everybody for [TS]

  you and I'm totally i love that I love [TS]

  that when women get to an age where [TS]

  they're like rather than ones who were [TS]

  like hanging out with lucite heels and [TS]

  like pulling a face back like the lady [TS]

  in Brazil you know yeah yeah yeah i like [TS]

  i love the fuck you lady in her fifties [TS]

  i fucking love that will see now this is [TS]

  the problem maybe one of the problems [TS]

  with being a guy is that that as you get [TS]

  older as it as a hand particularly a man [TS]

  with certain stature you get more [TS]

  attractive huh [TS]

  because you're your gray hair and wisdom [TS]

  that's in your face but just to get [TS]

  crazier makes you more appealing so [TS]

  you're never free [TS]

  you're never free of being yeah sexual [TS]

  section how highly sexualized sexually [TS]

  charged object of being a highly [TS]

  sexually charged kind of statute you [TS]

  need for that to really become a problem [TS]

  more than I have I think you sandbagging [TS]

  your sand bagging your stature I [TS]

  thinking about you don't need a larger [TS]

  stature I think you're I think your [TS]

  problem if it's not a problem i think [TS]

  your challenge is that you make a lot of [TS]

  men and bye-bye men i mean people but [TS]

  you make a lot of men feel strong [TS]

  feeling [TS]

  eggs and they may not understand their [TS]

  strong feelings and confuse them they [TS]

  say that a lot of lot of people by which [TS]

  i mean women and men confuse their [TS]

  strong emotions and therefore what kids [TS]

  started hate can feel like love or my [TS]

  school so you just blew my mind right [TS]

  right in difficulties so this whole [TS]

  group of people that's like I hate drama [TS]

  club they all have chubbies yeah well I [TS]

  mean you know as much as they can in [TS]

  this tight pants you know what I mean [TS]

  how do you have a club about [TS]

  indifference i guess i'll be the Senate [TS]

  a club out in different waka waka flocka [TS]

  but what have you heard what are the [TS]

  what is going on with these nut jobs in [TS]

  Congress am i right haha Hotel soaps [TS]

  really oh but you have to sound angry or [TS]

  come on [TS]

  so you're saying you're saying you could [TS]

  take like a yelling match and by doing [TS]

  in a slightly different tone of voice [TS]

  you do beer turns into bad stand-up [TS]

  comedy [TS]

  yeah right like that for instance you [TS]

  sent me this royal and no branks sure [TS]

  now i'm gonna read it to you as though [TS]

  I'm angry traditional ranked among [TS]

  European royalty peers of nobility it's [TS]

  rooted in late antiquity of the middle [TS]

  and it's basically stand-up it it's [TS]

  funny it all becomes stand-up comedy and [TS]

  you just read something you read [TS]

  anything or say anything like really mad [TS]

  like somebody just hit your brand-new [TS]

  car that's that's just stand up all the [TS]

  bad symp i have historically thought [TS]

  that the catchphrase and I've got to [TS]

  stop looking at this that the olive [TS]

  garden page has something called a [TS]

  slider which is if you've ever seen as [TS]

  you land on a webpage and as a picture [TS]

  keeps changing and I think I might be [TS]

  having up a good grand mal seizure know [TS]

  what's the little grandma seizures that [TS]

  her name was the other one was a little [TS]

  seizure petite small amplitude mall see [TS]

  what's the line it's French for orgasm [TS]

  at your grandmas the teachers just under [TS]

  to do and what's a petite mort seizure [TS]

  there's a little guy that's the people [TS]

  in the village which guy comes at the [TS]

  ball [TS]

  when you listen back you're gonna laugh [TS]

  thats olive garden I thought [TS]

  historically a friend [TS]

  okay you're laughing on the inside [TS]

  looking like a clown [TS]

  which one is that the next Congress [TS]

  that's a hundred gardens my back I have [TS]

  such a pain in my back right now [TS]

  olive garden I thought that their [TS]

  catchphrase or their whatever their [TS]

  service mark was hospitality on oh ! i'm [TS]

  seeing now here on the page and this [TS]

  with this epileptic website of theirs [TS]

  ah this is the register trademark next [TS]

  to their logo when you're here you're [TS]

  family which i think it by extension [TS]

  means and when you leave [TS]

  fuck you in the eye on your family buddy [TS]

  when you leave here [TS]

  don't let the door hit your ass you know [TS]

  well that's it that's why the trying to [TS]

  get you out because while you're there [TS]

  you're family you know it's all about [TS]

  turnover second is removing the heart of [TS]

  Galliano into into google just because [TS]

  I've never i have no idea what this [TS]

  means [TS]

  first thing that comes up all the [TS]

  hospitality know ! registered trademark [TS]

  and i said i look at that goes to the oh [TS]

  boy oh boy oh boy here is everything [TS]

  that's wrong with almost everything [TS]

  there's a hospitality are no mmmm that [TS]

  sounds like the worst superkick ever [TS]

  gotten oh man would you like more breath [TS]

  fix it said in the urban dictionary that [TS]

  you give somebody else patel iana oh ok [TS]

  that you do you stick your finger into [TS]

  their pasta and turn it around and all [TS]

  your friends jumped out of the closet [TS]

  mission on her chest and it goes [TS]

  hospitality on oh and that a netting [TS]

  ningun anything huh [TS]

  now leave because you're not family [TS]

  anymore well apparently hospitality know [TS]

  is is a subset of authentic Conte what [TS]

  is which is derogatory slang referring [TS]

  to the average American commercial idea [TS]

  of what mexican food should taste like [TS]

  this olive garden Roberto echo that [TS]

  where we are on an urban sure now [TS]

  ok Conte and and hospitality on is a [TS]

  subset of that along with Oliver cement [TS]

  I don't even know what the car you [TS]

  pronounce that so [TS]

  pumpkin there that's it [TS]

  no no we're done now Oh blumpkin [TS]