Roderick on the Line

Ep. 38: "With My Mind Bullets"


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  hello hi John [TS]

  hi Merlin how are you I'm good a little [TS]

  mad now what happened [TS]

  I've got ants a homeboy gets serious [TS]

  ants I've got ants and there they are in [TS]

  the least likely place for ants to be in [TS]

  one's home like ants in the kitchen I [TS]

  understand dance around the bathtub [TS]

  where you eat your sandwiches [TS]

  [Music] [TS]

  I understand that's your something [TS]

  except as a fact of life [TS]

  yeah but I have ants in my in my [TS]

  bathroom sink and I don't understand [TS]

  what they are doing there are they are [TS]

  they eating skin flakes are they spying [TS]

  on me i don't understand it but i've [TS]

  been i've been killing them with my [TS]

  thumb and i have created a kind of Aunt [TS]

  Holocaust is trying to make an example [TS]

  out of them [TS]

  well i feel like i have created a kind [TS]

  of killing field where the answer the [TS]

  answer come later they see the the [TS]

  thousands of skulls of their of the [TS]

  answer came before all the answers were [TS]

  wearing glasses all the ants that had a [TS]

  college education [TS]

  I've squash them all and i would think [TS]

  that the later ants would be would be [TS]

  scared away or would go back to the [TS]

  Queen and say this is bad this is a bad [TS]

  scene up here let's try different sink [TS]

  let's try different things let's get out [TS]

  of this house I don't like your kind of [TS]

  like like insect Kurtz mclovin said [TS]

  Kurds he's not he's not a crazy man he's [TS]

  a great man but anyway they keep coming [TS]

  and I'm I'm i stand there and look for [TS]

  them to get their to the second floor to [TS]

  that sink they would have to be [TS]

  everywhere they would have to be in the [TS]

  walls they would have to be they would [TS]

  have to be in my in my drawers [TS]

  there-there ants in my pants Merlin boom [TS]

  mmm you see you're like a Salvador Dali [TS]

  painting I I'm you hula dance this room [TS]

  that's pretty good [TS]

  you should write that down sure you [TS]

  could use that I could I have I am I I [TS]

  they're just so you know maybe i might [TS]

  be able to help you with this a little [TS]

  bit there are several books but you know [TS]

  Wilson that I have not finished [TS]

  yeah right including elements of style [TS]

  yeah sure ed white and yellow Wilson oh [TS]

  whatever [TS]

  yeah yeah there's a guy i'm fascinated [TS]

  by ants and I have actually a lot of [TS]

  respect France [TS]

  oh right sure they're great no I mean [TS]

  it's funny because in our house this is [TS]

  a big topic of discussion in our home [TS]

  not that this matters here but we have [TS]

  three very very different feelings about [TS]

  ants my while my wife despite we going [TS]

  to call sugar and this little tiny ants [TS]

  that you get when it rains [TS]

  that's right i guess they get money when [TS]

  it gets wet you know a rainy they get [TS]

  pushed out of their little and home they [TS]

  start looking for different places and I [TS]

  guess they get curious you know so now [TS]

  now I'm wait a minute you're telling me [TS]

  they have curiosity I don't know I feel [TS]

  terrible i didn't finish the book but i [TS]

  don't know i don't know much about my [TS]

  underwear and your wife once no ants my [TS]

  wife wants my wife despises ants all [TS]

  right now who's the buddhist doc that is [TS]

  pro and I am somewhere near them the [TS]

  college they call it the spectrum i'm [TS]

  about halfway down the spectrum where I [TS]

  don't like that to me it's like what [TS]

  it's like anchovies and ex-girlfriends I [TS]

  just I don't like being surprised you [TS]

  know right like I don't like ants [TS]

  showing up III have a little bit of a [TS]

  start when I see ants but then i'm [TS]

  mostly okay with it [TS]

  my daughter loves the ants are she came [TS]

  to my office which is written with ants [TS]

  right now and she came up to me and very [TS]

  gently said daddy and she said hold out [TS]

  your hand and she led an ant cross from [TS]

  her hand into my oh she's a nature lover [TS]

  that's we yeah so how could you kill the [TS]

  curious little ants that are just [TS]

  looking for looking for shelter from the [TS]

  storm [TS]

  I hmmm i should finish that book but my [TS]

  feeling is I try to be a good citizen [TS]

  John I mean not a really good citizen [TS]

  but I didn't want to be on the spectrum [TS]

  i try to be like an okay citizen [TS]

  yeah well for instance right now yeah I [TS]

  i started to repair my bathtub [TS]

  I have two bathtubs in my house so one [TS]

  of them was in need of some repair so i [TS]

  started took it apart and i'm sure i [TS]

  started to repair it I've been using the [TS]

  other bathtub which is the lesser of the [TS]

  two bathtubs but i have the one bathtub [TS]

  dismantled a spider has taken up [TS]

  residence in the bathtub love spiders [TS]

  and it's not of the kind of spider it's [TS]

  it's the kind of spider that little that [TS]

  uses a flat web he's made a web in the [TS]

  bottom of the bathtub and I don't know [TS]

  what he's hoping to find maybe he thinks [TS]

  that a monkey is going to fall into it [TS]

  to me like a trapeze ten net like a [TS]

  horse yeah yeah it's kind of horizontal [TS]

  and it's sort of it's a little bit [TS]

  it's like connected to the bottom of the [TS]

  bathtub in multiple places so it's kind [TS]

  of like a it's just a sand trap things [TS]

  work than I've ever done in my entire [TS]

  life [TS]

  well I know but he is driven by his by [TS]

  his genes in a way that you and I are [TS]

  not true we have divorced ourselves from [TS]

  our genetic motivation I playing the [TS]

  culture of nice you know what [TS]

  yeah i think the public schools are to [TS]

  blame but in any case this spider is [TS]

  living happily in my bathtub and this is [TS]

  a bathroom that I don't let other people [TS]

  go into visitors don't come to daddy [TS]

  daddy special bathroom female guests [TS]

  that come to the house are directed to a [TS]

  different bathroom haha because this is [TS]

  this is dad's inner sanctum [TS]

  uh-huh and so there's a spider right now [TS]

  in the bathtub and i have no beef with [TS]

  the spider he's not bothering me [TS]

  he's waiting for monkeys to fall into [TS]

  his net and so and no girl is gonna walk [TS]

  in there and scream and say there's a [TS]

  lighter your bathtub and force me to [TS]

  deal with it so the spider and i have [TS]

  have reached a comfortable reproach [TS]

  meant my only question is why is he not [TS]

  in the middle of the night eating these [TS]

  ants that are that are sharing the [TS]

  bathtub with him for sharing the [TS]

  bathroom with him and I've come to the [TS]

  conclusion that spiders don't you dance [TS]

  I think that's I think that it's a very [TS]

  sound conclusion spiders don't you dance [TS]

  I've never seen a spider in and you know [TS]

  I I haven't either i haven't watched [TS]

  forward enough to say i do think i spent [TS]

  a lot of time watching spiders [TS]

  oh I i am for practical purposes here [TS]

  utilized by spiders my dad's I like them [TS]

  a lot [TS]

  I really like spiders and I don't know [TS]

  if this is so wives tale network ping [TS]

  pong but I for some reason I feel like [TS]

  when I see a spider it feels like good [TS]

  luck [TS]

  I like a spider and I really when I was [TS]

  little I killed you to seattle he could [TS]

  have a good luck also that spider [TS]

  country [TS]

  oh boy is it ever spider spider spider [TS]

  spider that's our state motto spider [TS]

  spider spider welcome to Washington that [TS]

  is a terrific block that I like to do [TS]

  not want to circle back to this but I [TS]

  mean and I want to get to the reproach [TS]

  mom part because I don't understand how [TS]

  you can have one first of all taking [TS]

  part of bathtub sounds like a lot of [TS]

  work it is a tremendous amount of work [TS]

  at the lights [TS]

  that's why it's still taking apart but [TS]

  so where were you think it's like when [TS]

  somebody tries to restore a Fiat haha [TS]

  that's funny [TS]

  it's very easy to take a Fiat apart I've [TS]

  never seen an mg altogether [TS]

  I've only ever seen mg's that somebody [TS]

  started working on and never finished [TS]

  right out of the getting busier finished [TS]

  an mg now they take them apart and then [TS]

  they think that they're gonna drop a [TS]

  chevy 350 and remove and then they have [TS]

  a bucket of parts in the garage so [TS]

  that's what's happened with my bathtub [TS]

  i'm sorry to say I took it apart and [TS]

  then I realized that that there were [TS]

  other things that needed to be fixed [TS]

  while I had the bathtub apart and then [TS]

  pretty soon I was building a seven-sided [TS]

  lighthouse made of dreams but we're way [TS]

  I mean I'd not to put too fine a point [TS]

  on it but where do you enjoy your subs [TS]

  now you don't want to stir the spider [TS]

  obviously you've got you've got a [TS]

  certain is d considering nemesis or or [TS]

  companion you don't want to you don't [TS]

  script as well but like you need a place [TS]

  to have a sub yeah i know i'm having it [TS]

  in the secondary bathtub the lesser [TS]

  bathtub [TS]

  oh IC so the under-construction bathtub [TS]

  or ladies allowed to use the bathroom at [TS]

  the end of construction bathroom is [TS]

  where the spider is living under [TS]

  construction bathroom is is the major [TS]

  bathtub [TS]

  hmmm that has the that has the bubbles [TS]

  it has the electronic bubble low flame [TS]

  it's not there yet jets jets got jets [TS]

  are you kidding me [TS]

  yeah you ever had ladies in there that [TS]

  have hold a drink and like to run your [TS]

  fingers through the hair [TS]

  I have never allowed anyone to bring a [TS]

  drink into my bathtub the other than me [TS]

  because there's no room on my bath desk [TS]

  for more drinks after I object to have a [TS]

  bad debt scores i have a bath this guy i [TS]

  built the bath desk and and what you [TS]

  make it out of [TS]

  well I went to the i went to the thrift [TS]

  store and I found one of those one of [TS]

  those serving trays that if you had a [TS]

  manservant your manservant would bring [TS]

  your breakfast your continental [TS]

  breakfast in your your copy of the [TS]

  london times it's roomy it's nice cake [TS]

  but it wasn't big enough [TS]

  these visa these these trays that that [TS]

  are meant to go on your lap while you're [TS]

  sitting in bed or not did they do not [TS]

  span a bathtub bathtubs carbon why are [TS]

  you you're not talking about i'm sorry [TS]

  you're not talking about a bathtub side [TS]

  table or or like a stool you're talking [TS]

  about something you can literally have [TS]

  go across the bathtub in front of you [TS]

  you can you can do your work you can [TS]

  enjoy a sandwich you work on your [TS]

  memoirs correct in fact so here's what I [TS]

  have a typical when I'm when I'm baking [TS]

  in the major bathtub on a hit that in a [TS]

  typical afternoon i have a large mug [TS]

  coffee then I have a secondary drink [TS]

  either an Arnold Palmer fruity pleaser [TS]

  or a or a smoothie [TS]

  if it's really the hot season and then [TS]

  there then there's the plate with them [TS]

  intentionally have two hot beverages [TS]

  right over your dingus on a tray [TS]

  no one's hot ones called the coffee's [TS]

  hot the smoothies cold ok and then I [TS]

  have that the sandwich which would be [TS]

  the to be the major part of the meal and [TS]

  then i have the lesser meal which is [TS]

  like a scone or snack and then a stack [TS]

  of magazines and then a stack of [TS]

  unfinished crossword puzzles and Sudoku [TS]

  news and then now my my pen and a [TS]

  notepad [TS]

  uh-huh and that that that that that's [TS]

  basically it [TS]

  it's like once I get past the utter [TS]

  insanity of that I I can't believe I [TS]

  don't do that it's incredible and all I [TS]

  had to do i bought this serving tray for [TS]

  a dollar [TS]

  at a thrift store and I added some you [TS]

  know I i beefed it up i added some [TS]

  supporting crossmembers and a nice then [TS]

  I put two big sort of the main supports [TS]

  the main beams though the load-bearing [TS]

  beams who and now I keep it next to the [TS]

  bathtub and when i get in the bath [TS]

  I i start to draw the bath and then I [TS]

  take the tray downstairs and I loaded up [TS]

  with all my bath accoutrements and then [TS]

  bring it bring it up and I climb in the [TS]

  bathroom put my little table down i'm in [TS]

  there all afternoon [TS]

  now do you let some of the water out and [TS]

  then we get more hot water in how do you [TS]

  how do you keep it how do you keep it [TS]

  comfortable that for that whole [TS]

  afternoon when a lesser bathtub yes it's [TS]

  a constant constant that must be [TS]

  miserable John this is this is putting [TS]

  put a serious such if I could say not [TS]

  working for serious change in your [TS]

  workflow it it doesn't because it's [TS]

  because I've worked it out so that [TS]

  they're you know there are so many [TS]

  different kinds of bathtubs you can have [TS]

  there's the one so many where you can [TS]

  leave I used when I grew up in my [TS]

  childhood I which is where you grow up I [TS]

  had an idea i had a bathtub where I [TS]

  could turn the slightest trickle a very [TS]

  hot water just trickled it was like a [TS]

  new it was like I was at a buddhist [TS]

  retreat this water was just like TT and [TS]

  it was very hot and it kept the bath and [TS]

  an even temperature as the bath cooled [TS]

  this little teeny trickle hot water just [TS]

  replenished and rejuvenated these other [TS]

  bills it was a homeostatic trip [TS]

  that's right these other faucets the [TS]

  ones where when you turn it on it's cold [TS]

  and you have to crank it all the way [TS]

  over to full to get it to be hot [TS]

  I don't understand who designed that so [TS]

  terrible design what if you want a [TS]

  little bit of hot he cannot get it and [TS]

  and that seems to be what certainly find [TS]

  in hotel rooms is terribly that's what [TS]

  have you been in a hotel room that first [TS]

  time I saw this at first I couldn't [TS]

  understand it I i often have trouble [TS]

  understanding showers like to come back [TS]

  to your mom's house [TS]

  she's the most confusing shower bath of [TS]

  every stone was little there are seven [TS]

  handed [TS]

  I don't know if you remember what [TS]

  happened there was an incident but but i [TS]

  like the things in a hotel where they [TS]

  got a separate dingus for the [TS]

  temperature and for the pressure so you [TS]

  could have you could have a co2 and [TS]

  talking about you could have a super hot [TS]

  you know you could have that you know [TS]

  what I don't know what I don't know 110 [TS]

  degrees or whatever and then you could [TS]

  have just be a little bit in the shower [TS]

  you know what i mean i think that is [TS]

  very responsible that's an accelerator [TS]

  and the brake or better put it maybe [TS]

  it's an accelerator in the steering [TS]

  wheel brakes brake would be the the [TS]

  drain people should have the power [TS]

  placed into their trust to determine how [TS]

  hot they want their water and how much [TS]

  water they want and this is part of the [TS]

  overall problem of of the sort of [TS]

  paternalism that is rife in America have [TS]

  you noticed how many stop signs there [TS]

  are in America not noticed how many of [TS]

  those stop signs are absolutely [TS]

  necessary [TS]

  6 that's right there are six absolutely [TS]

  necessary stop signs in the entire [TS]

  United States three and three of them [TS]

  are four-way stops and and then some of [TS]

  the other ones we could probably let go [TS]

  in the next five to seven years every [TS]

  other stop side in the country is it is [TS]

  a total waste because when you arrive at [TS]

  an intersection if there is no stop sign [TS]

  there unless you are unless you are a 95 [TS]

  year old man and you are and you left [TS]

  the house that morning thinking how many [TS]

  people can run over before I die you're [TS]

  going to arrive at that intersection [TS]

  you're going to say look both ways if [TS]

  there's another car there you make some [TS]

  determination who's going to go and [TS]

  finally join but here's this freaking [TS]

  stop sign and everybody has to stop it [TS]

  we're all standing there like we're all [TS]

  it being controlled by this piece of [TS]

  aluminum and where were just like cows [TS]

  like I have to stop he stops we all stop [TS]

  now we go one at a time to die i hate [TS]

  this I hate this world [TS]

  yeah we do there's a lot you can do to [TS]

  improve it won't stop signs and I know [TS]

  any of the supertrain there will be no [TS]

  stop signs how we how you handle people [TS]

  we do people people will be educated to [TS]

  to know what to do or world would be [TS]

  some kind of a little crane that's you [TS]

  wouldn't want to impede people's flow [TS]

  i'm guessing it would only want a [TS]

  population that would understand that [TS]

  you don't need a fucking stop sign [TS]

  well what will happen i I'm afraid to [TS]

  say is that will be much harder to get a [TS]

  driver's [TS]

  license haha it would be like medical [TS]

  school how just under medical school [TS]

  it'll be harder to order to get a [TS]

  driver's license candles will be [TS]

  eligible [TS]

  I you know what I want the highest [TS]

  qualified dentists speaking as someone [TS]

  who has had a lot of people hands in his [TS]

  mouth [TS]

  I want the dentists to be I want the [TS]

  dentist to go through like a astronaut [TS]

  training doctors they just I I've yet to [TS]

  meet the doctor the new with health and [TS]

  Kirsten needs a ride she hops right in [TS]

  the dds takes her ring I think when [TS]

  dentists are inventors have to go [TS]

  through astronaut training they will [TS]

  stop naming their daughters Kirsten no [TS]

  kidding [TS]

  no no that's absolutely true I don't [TS]

  just move to texas to become an [TS]

  astronaut you might get the texas since [TS]

  we're super train land to in order to be [TS]

  a dentist you might have to go to Texas [TS]

  for how do you handle the skateboards [TS]

  the skateboard bike problem [TS]

  I mean I cuz I'm not first of all let me [TS]

  just say I think this is a problem i [TS]

  think they don't see stop signs i don't [TS]

  know if it's by virtue of the fact there [TS]

  are few inches off the ground but i [TS]

  don't think people on one skateboards [TS]

  and bicycles [TS]

  I used to think I used to think when I [TS]

  was a smaller person that they were just [TS]

  ignoring them [TS]

  I don't think they might be a little [TS]

  goofy i think they might be on the [TS]

  bicycle spectrum and they do not see [TS]

  stop signs [TS]

  oh they see them if they seldom and [TS]

  every time they run one it is in their [TS]

  minds an active resistance right look at [TS]

  what colors to little cars to John your [TS]

  cars do [TS]

  hey there looking at cars and cars the [TS]

  response when I say this to people like [TS]

  you understand how irresponsible it is [TS]

  to be coming down a twenty20 green angle [TS]

  hill and blow through a stop sign on a [TS]

  busy street i want you know that you [TS]

  know not a four-way like you're going to [TS]

  blow through a stop sign and there's a [TS]

  busy road people are going to be going [TS]

  down there with the kids and their dogs [TS]

  yeah and you blow right through there [TS]

  and any what they say they say well in [TS]

  this seriously this is the response [TS]

  response is oh yeah well you know what [TS]

  cars do em and I just I don't see where [TS]

  we're I mean the supertrain have a [TS]

  solution [TS]

  I mean anything differently what is [TS]

  super train solution for dealing with [TS]

  the bikers here's the thing i spent 15 [TS]

  years living in Seattle with no car and [TS]

  I was one of those pedestrians I'm [TS]

  embarrassed to say now now that I'm a [TS]

  car driver and I Drive everywhere i'm [TS]

  embarrassed at what kind of pedestrian I [TS]

  was I think you can guess [TS]

  I was first of all the kind of [TS]

  pedestrian that that wore a soul patch [TS]

  em and I was the kind of protection that [TS]

  makes you a target right off the bat I [TS]

  was really really this was the nineties [TS]

  yeah but I did have a soul patch [TS]

  how big was that it was intelligible was [TS]

  like anyone is negligible ones that [TS]

  looks like it it might be some kale or [TS]

  something [TS]

  it was it was blond hair and it looked [TS]

  like maybe i just missed it when I was [TS]

  shaving but its lucky be it was there it [TS]

  wasn't pubie is this it wasn't curly it [TS]

  was just a little slit blonde will tough [TS]

  to that I would stroke when I was [TS]

  thinking deep thoughts you can take it [TS]

  deep deep out with a soul patch [TS]

  well I realize that now ok but it was [TS]

  the nineties in any case streets had to [TS]

  be crossed [TS]

  I'm going cross streets and I'm on my [TS]

  feet I don't have a car I don't even [TS]

  it's been so long since I've had a car i [TS]

  don't even remember what it's like I [TS]

  don't I don't look at people in cars as [TS]

  being in the same species as i am like [TS]

  people in cars are people who are eating [TS]

  antibiotic treated beef and i am walking [TS]

  the streets of seattle with a soul patch [TS]

  and i am eating only like lightly [TS]

  steamed vegetables it's like we're [TS]

  different were totally different [TS]

  populations and I would step out in [TS]

  front of a moving car and turn my head [TS]

  slowly and glare at the driver until [TS]

  they not only came to a stop but didn't [TS]

  squeak their breaks like of a driver [TS]

  squeaked their break something out there [TS]

  that's the kind of threat it was well [TS]

  yeah sure [TS]

  squeak squeaker breaks at me there were [TS]

  multiple times where I would put my hand [TS]

  on the hood of somebody's car and I [TS]

  balham as I was walking past like I was [TS]

  such a dick and and it was based on the [TS]

  concept that pedestrians are not only do [TS]

  they have the right-of-way pedestrians [TS]

  are right questions are morally right [TS]

  again it was the nineties i was a young [TS]

  person did not fully understand that one [TS]

  day I would be driving a car and people [TS]

  would walk across the street and look at [TS]

  me [TS]

  not anywhere near with the glare of that [TS]

  with the self-righteous clear that I [TS]

  used people would just look at me [TS]

  sometimes it has i'm waiting on a light [TS]

  and I look at them now and go we looking [TS]

  at [TS]

  keep moving the walkie keep locking [TS]

  walking walk walk down the road at the [TS]

  time [TS]

  oh my god i would i would strive with I [TS]

  would nope across the street taking my [TS]

  sweet time and so with that history with [TS]

  that sordid history when I see a [TS]

  bicyclist who is who has those earplugs [TS]

  those big ear ear rings that are like [TS]

  that are like sink stoppers are you [TS]

  talking about like that grommet loves [TS]

  the grommet lobes I see a guy like that [TS]

  with his bike messenger bag and his is a [TS]

  loud pipes save lives [TS]

  bumper stickers guys these guys bike [TS]

  lock in his back pocket and Casey yeah [TS]

  once they hit your mirror [TS]

  yeah skinny jeans and one of them's [TS]

  rolled up and tucked in his sock when I [TS]

  see one of those guys blow through a [TS]

  stop sign and I go oh oh you little [TS]

  prick i remember what a prick i was and [TS]

  i think mm alright yeah you're you're [TS]

  falling into the same poor logic there i [TS]

  mean there has to be a date on San [TS]

  Francisco IMA kind of a pissy San [TS]

  Francisco pedestrian and but but i'm [TS]

  also I try really hard to be a very [TS]

  considerate driver when it comes to [TS]

  pedestrians because here's the thing you [TS]

  move to a fruitcake city like this [TS]

  because you want a certain theoretical [TS]

  quality of life is my feeling we're [TS]

  living in a society to quit george [TS]

  costanza and and I really think that if [TS]

  you moved to San Francisco my [TS]

  neighborhood my neighborhood is in be [TS]

  your lawful good know your lawful [TS]

  neutral I'm a ranger but the Rangers [TS]

  have to be lawful something not get [TS]

  chaotic i think i'm not sure when you [TS]

  look that up you put a lot of you put a [TS]

  lot of i play think they ultimately you [TS]

  believe in the law people even long i [TS]

  need the law [TS]

  I need I need I need the the monkey web [TS]

  for [TS]

  yeah and i think i think you know what [TS]

  you're saying is that that that there's [TS]

  that this population of bicyclists as a [TS]

  group adopted a kind of anarchic [TS]

  approach to traffic laws and that [TS]

  doesn't suit you ok I must say I'm [TS]

  saying they're assholes [TS]

  I I mean there may be some kind of a [TS]

  deeper Development Shaun but i think i [TS]

  think mostly there's this sense of [TS]

  entitlement that comes from absolutely [TS]

  nowhere and you think do you think that [TS]

  that riding bicycles attracts assholes [TS]

  that's right but this is hansel John you [TS]

  are really onto something I I just hope [TS]

  to god supertrain has an answer because [TS]

  I can't tell the difference [TS]

  it's like do i do this business [TS]

  development exist to attract douchebags [TS]

  or is it that if we didn't have you know [TS]

  with the douchebags you have made you [TS]

  know what I'm saying it's it's a Gordian [TS]

  knot you know I went to college [TS]

  yeah i did not graduate and say well now [TS]

  and I think that business development [TS]

  that is there to at to attract assholes [TS]

  because the you could on orientation day [TS]

  you can walk around and just just by the [TS]

  haircut pick the guys who are majoring [TS]

  in business who you know what I mean [TS]

  they came that way already there was [TS]

  that one is selfish haircuts [TS]

  well or just like just like 22 done why [TS]

  are you wearing your hair like that it's [TS]

  a good for you at freshman orientation [TS]

  you should be here with Pete sustained [TS]

  sweats [TS]

  instead you got your hair all done what [TS]

  is that about [TS]

  it's a it's a thing that it's a thing [TS]

  their parents did to them I i just feel [TS]

  like i said the neighborhood I live in [TS]

  which you've been to numerous times is [TS]

  your in something like the 90 something [TS]

  percent i love walkable neighborhoods [TS]

  look this up on some internet it's very [TS]

  walkable although there is a slight [TS]

  incline if I was a fire was [TS]

  differently-abled might find it hard to [TS]

  get down to the beach and then all the [TS]

  way back up [TS]

  yeah I really think hills our ablest [TS]

  know our original level absolutely no [TS]

  question about it [TS]

  that's funny they recently redid that [TS]

  big park that the soldiers ran out of [TS]

  towards you you know across 30 yeah they [TS]

  did a really great job but it took a [TS]

  long time and it was a good standard we [TS]

  do that well and it's funny it was very [TS]

  it was somewhat melancholy for me [TS]

  because they knocked on the playground [TS]

  you know Polly with my canvas it was but [TS]

  they brought it back up an old man it's [TS]

  great they did you hear the howling of [TS]

  of a Confederate Army that was displaced [TS]

  it's like you [TS]

  we've got to I can't tell if it's a gold [TS]

  shoulder or red-tailed hawk is that [TS]

  right cold shoulder [TS]

  anyway I got this new app for my ipad [TS]

  that helps me identify birds but I [TS]

  couldn't tell if there's that could have [TS]

  been a hawk but you know it could have [TS]

  been that could have been a private for [TS]

  from Virginia I'm not gonna lie me see [TS]

  you know now I got dammit pedestrian [TS]

  pennies i want to come back to this i'm [TS]

  elated if I have a lady friend here in [TS]

  Seattle he has recently attacked by a [TS]

  crow on a downtown street [TS]

  I fucking not a raven a crow crow caws [TS]

  get pretty big i think i confuse my [TS]

  Ravens and crows yeah they have [TS]

  different faces [TS]

  okay can it was a sight but it's a [TS]

  Ravens because if you don't i don't mean [TS]

  to cut you off its just you get you so [TS]

  very close to helping me on so many [TS]

  things and I feel like my stack is [TS]

  getting very thick that Ravens and crows [TS]

  are very different Ravens can actually [TS]

  pick locks Ravens can do simple coding [TS]

  Raven see stop signs i had actually a [TS]

  website website designed by Raven or [TS]

  team of Ravens who crows are slightly [TS]

  less sophisticated but they're they're [TS]

  also very social and it and she was [TS]

  walking downtown and the Raven swooped [TS]

  down in her hair and this is in the [TS]

  middle of a busy downtown street and so [TS]

  she was trying to figure out what this [TS]

  was about with what you know she's like [TS]

  as the Raven protecting its nasty i'm [TS]

  like no it's a raven doesnt nest on a [TS]

  sidewalk in the middle of town [TS]

  Raven's nest far far out of town I don't [TS]

  I couldn't explain what the problem was [TS]

  but but what I didn't second [TS]

  discrimination that's right there there [TS]

  there redlined Ravens are getting Cotts [TS]

  steering is a little shady you know what [TS]

  these houses are nice i think you'd be [TS]

  happier over in this neighborhood [TS]

  yeah there's a lot more Ravens and [TS]

  blackbirds here welcome to our party [TS]

  have you met Mohamed that animal house [TS]

  that's terrible about um but I said to [TS]

  her here's the thing with Ravens [TS]

  r and crows Ravens and crows they talk [TS]

  to each other at night they they compare [TS]

  notes [TS]

  it may not even be that you did [TS]

  something at that moment to personally [TS]

  offended that particular crow it may be [TS]

  that you have been impolite to crows in [TS]

  general and they have targeted they're [TS]

  sharing intelligence that's right they [TS]

  absolutely are like you didn't know you [TS]

  the one are you the one he says you say [TS]

  you say that the Soviets are the ones [TS]

  who won the war in Europe right they're [TS]

  the ones who did all the heavy lifting [TS]

  over there was such a quote you you had [TS]

  a long day of quotes and I couldn't keep [TS]

  up with all of them [TS]

  you think it's like the Allies it's like [TS]

  the Allies we all do different things [TS]

  when the war is over we have very [TS]

  different you know things that we'd like [TS]

  to do and sometimes we go [TS]

  you know I loggerheads about that you're [TS]

  saying you're saying here there's a [TS]

  certain kind of date on that and they [TS]

  share information like the Allies would [TS]

  well but they are all crows are aboard [TS]

  and and a highly sophisticated one that [TS]

  doesn't get mockingbirds mockingbirds [TS]

  are different things but I have very [TS]

  very very I have deep and wide [TS]

  experience with Ravens and crows really [TS]

  growing up in Alaska Ravens are Raven [TS]

  stand four feet tall [TS]

  oh they wear that is chilling they were [TS]

  very very nice outfits when they come to [TS]

  the DMV they are there are completely [TS]

  the they're completely integrated part [TS]

  hey let's just do you want to go any [TS]

  further I have a lot of very good [TS]

  friends who are Ravens some of them are [TS]

  extremely smart and articulate and [TS]

  almost all of them are very clean you [TS]

  know what they're very clean very clean [TS]

  piece you know that's the thing is I'm i [TS]

  really hate to hear the casual [TS]

  discrimination against super articulate [TS]

  some of them some of them sure [TS]

  well you know that is good Ravens and [TS]

  bad Ravens we should probably move on [TS]

  there was a there was an incredible [TS]

  piece written in the in the anchorage [TS]

  daily news in the mid-eighties about [TS]

  this guy who who said well you know we [TS]

  don't really know that much about Ravens [TS]

  we don't know where they sleep at night [TS]

  we don't know really anything about them [TS]

  considering that they live all around [TS]

  think that's correct [TS]

  no I've had in fact in fact in this [TS]

  instance it is and I and I think it's [TS]

  true even of the crows I think somebody [TS]

  in the Raven racket would at some point [TS]

  follow Raven and see where it went to [TS]

  sleep [TS]

  let me tell you okay [TS]

  my mother and I for many many years have [TS]

  at dusk gotten in our cars and chased [TS]

  the crows as they congregate as they fly [TS]

  out of the city congregate they do [TS]

  congregate in trees at the south end of [TS]

  town and once all the crows have [TS]

  gathered in one massive crow the [TS]

  Parliament that's not a murder plot at [TS]

  this point it's a part of it because it [TS]

  is tens of thousands of crows 0 then on [TS]

  right at dusk they all leave together [TS]

  and fly to the mountains and my mom and [TS]

  I chasing after them in our cars talk [TS]

  communicating to each other on our [TS]

  phones we have never been able to [TS]

  successfully find them where they go [TS]

  everywhere in order to get got a [TS]

  mysterious mysterious avian commuters [TS]

  and you and your mom are in some Wes [TS]

  Anderson movie we're driving in separate [TS]

  cars with walkie-talkies and you are [TS]

  literally driving as the crow flies that [TS]

  is right we are chasing them and they [TS]

  elude us every time [TS]

  god damn it but this guy in the eighties [TS]

  he set out he invented a gun that would [TS]

  shoot a net the net gun and he went to [TS]

  to a certain mall in Anchorage where the [TS]

  Ravens all congregated at the dumpsters [TS]

  and he got out of his van and he shot [TS]

  the net gun any captured 10 Ravens and [TS]

  the following day he drove up in the [TS]

  same van and all the Ravens split so he [TS]

  draw all that you say they learned [TS]

  yeah I drove across town in this van and [TS]

  he went to a different mall and he shot [TS]

  his net gun and captured five Ravens and [TS]

  the following day no matter what mall he [TS]

  went to in the city when he drove into [TS]

  the parking lot in that van [TS]

  The Raven split well so he rented assets [TS]

  a new van and he repeated this [TS]

  experiment soon he found that he could [TS]

  not drive into a mall parking lot in any [TS]

  kind of van [TS]

  the Ravens wood split what kind of time [TS]

  frame are we talking about this is over [TS]

  the course of a few weeks are you [TS]

  kidding me [TS]

  he started to arrive in a car then it [TS]

  got to the point that the that if this [TS]

  is his reporting that the Ravens [TS]

  recognized his face citywide so he [TS]

  started wearing masks and then anytime [TS]

  the race is tier VIII this is this is [TS]

  absolutely is that I i have the sources [TS]

  that we could weekly column or a [TS]

  peer-reviewed journals this with this [TS]

  curl a bit [TS]

  this was a big feature in the sunday [TS]

  supplement oh ok well so he said get [TS]

  makeup chrome asks instead how now [TS]

  anytime across he's a person a mask they [TS]

  split he tried cheetos he got a couple [TS]

  Ravens with Cheetos then they wouldn't [TS]

  eat Cheetos anymore he tried and so all [TS]

  summer long [TS]

  he changed these Ravens trying to get [TS]

  enough trying to capture enough Ravens [TS]

  that he could tag them and let them go [TS]

  to have a significant you know a [TS]

  significant sort of case and he said [TS]

  that they thwarted him at every turn he [TS]

  could never he could never get a system [TS]

  down where he was capturing and tagging [TS]

  Ravens because everything he tried to [TS]

  fit within a day every Ravens in the [TS]

  City knew what he was up to and she [TS]

  recently divorced and that's just the [TS]

  beginning to sound like I'm recently [TS]

  divorced man i watch two Ravens once [TS]

  steal a box of Raven sorry box of [TS]

  raisins denies it I just want to raisins [TS]

  steel Ibaka Raven now I think you almost [TS]

  said you wanted nothing i'll cut it out [TS]

  but I i think he said that you once he [TS]

  started to say that you want swatch to [TS]

  Raven steel box of ravens yeah also cut [TS]

  out that he be white thing at the [TS]

  beginning that's embarrassing [TS]

  okay um but haha the Ravens one Raven [TS]

  landed in front of my niece she had a [TS]

  box of raisins and he hopped up to her [TS]

  right just right out of her reach [TS]

  she was an infant or like a like a like [TS]

  a two-year-old and so she drop the box [TS]

  of raisins and started to crawl to the [TS]

  bird and he hopped back just right out [TS]

  of her reach and she's crawling toward [TS]

  him and as he as she gets away from the [TS]

  box of raisins another raven swoops in [TS]

  behind and starts eating the raisins get [TS]

  a partner she turns around and sees the [TS]

  other bird goes back to the box of [TS]

  raisins the other bird start hopping [TS]

  back she follows the bird the first [TS]

  Raven goes it's the raisins and the east [TS]

  and i SAT and watched this happen [TS]

  these two birds ate her entire box of [TS]

  raisins playing this like I'm right here [TS]

  you can i'm right here you can catch me [TS]

  just [TS]

  Oh Here I am Here I am and they back and [TS]

  forth back and forth until all her [TS]

  reasons work on [TS]

  oh my god and now anywhere that she goes [TS]

  in the city she can t raisins [TS]

  that's right even if she's wearing a [TS]

  mask god that's complicated [TS]

  they are very complicated so i told my [TS]

  mother I gotta learn more not as we've [TS]

  kind of been fast and loose with Ravens [TS]

  and crows your interest primarily here [TS]

  is in Ravens it sounds like they're the [TS]

  real trouble [TS]

  well except that in seattle crows are [TS]

  much more are much more common and this [TS]

  has nothing to do with crackles I know [TS]

  there are no graphical stupid compared [TS]

  to the Ravens I would never on honor on [TS]

  a public program say that any bird was [TS]

  stupid because I at this point believe [TS]

  that they're listening so if I said the [TS]

  United you travel a lot John you need to [TS]

  be able to move freely need to keep you [TS]

  under these these birds on your side [TS]

  I don't know whether the ravens in [TS]

  Alaska are communicating with the crows [TS]

  in seattle it's possible they could have [TS]

  a translator [TS]

  I i think based on the the work of this [TS]

  gentleman in the mask i think it's clear [TS]

  that where were their operating on a [TS]

  much higher level than anybody wants to [TS]

  admit it's their world where we're just [TS]

  living in it and I think it's like right [TS]

  you you were attacked by crow on a [TS]

  downtown street what you need to start [TS]

  doing is do what I do which is every [TS]

  time you see a crow particularly across [TS]

  that that flies down and lands at eye [TS]

  level you know the way that sometimes [TS]

  you're walking along and there's [TS]

  suddenly a crow on a on offense [TS]

  I hate that he's looking right at you [TS]

  hate it when that happens you have to [TS]

  look at the crow and say hello crow [TS]

  and.and I do I boom boom you're looking [TS]

  at him he's looking at you you say hello [TS]

  to the peg is a bitch [TS]

  what no you're you're you're showing [TS]

  respect for showing respect but you're [TS]

  also saying I see you motherfucker [TS]

  ok I see you like you don't walk around [TS]

  with a rave a crow or raven flies down [TS]

  and lands on a fence and looks at you [TS]

  and you don't look at him [TS]

  oh whose world isn't no crow crows [TS]

  world's Chris world you need to look at [TS]

  that crow and say I see you and you see [TS]

  me and I say hello crow you don't say hi [TS]

  mr. Crowe let's settle this while it's [TS]

  easy [TS]

  that's right you know any other thing is [TS]

  I've been beguiled by by many animals by [TS]

  hand sand by spiders and crows and [TS]

  ravens and and I've been annoyed by [TS]

  grackles but I you know this is one of [TS]

  those funny things that'll do it some [TS]

  kind of Florida burger with no no no no [TS]

  in Austin Kiki Austin with this [TS]

  deafening birds on the while he rides [TS]

  the grackles lost an APB on everything [TS]

  yeah the grackles of Austin who travels [TS]

  involved i think josh Josh just sign [TS]

  them not long ago I I here's the thing [TS]

  though and you know John you know this [TS]

  you're getting a little older but there [TS]

  are things okay for example you still [TS]

  eat spicy food [TS]

  I used to be able to eat a lot of spicy [TS]

  food now light spicy food i'm going to [TS]

  be reading a lot [TS]

  okay i know that I accept that there are [TS]

  some things that change in life i'm [TS]

  saying one thing that changed my life I [TS]

  used to think very little about birds in [TS]

  general if there's a bird in front of me [TS]

  I'd I'd say that's a bird you know is [TS]

  Macar I I'd you know or whatever you [TS]

  want to talk or or fly around or [TS]

  whatever i got to John bird eyes freak [TS]

  the living shit out of me those BTW and [TS]

  i'm not even talking like you know and [TS]

  after Hitchcock movie [TS]

  I'm just saying that as you look into [TS]

  the eyes of a crew or especially a raven [TS]

  and you try to figure out what is on [TS]

  that birds mind you're gonna be fucking [TS]

  nothing but yellow looking back at you [TS]

  and no matter how big the bird is the [TS]

  eyes will always be BTW and the children [TS]

  me you can pick up my bird eyes I think [TS]

  they're super freaky and I don't get [TS]

  freaked out because I I feel like eatin [TS]

  I feel like I'm meant to be here on [TS]

  earth and there's a standard [TS]

  stand-your-ground not only stand your [TS]

  ground but establish [TS]

  I i established with all animals and in [TS]

  fact all living things including [TS]

  including humans yes I tried to [TS]

  establish that i am here for a reason [TS]

  and you can either aid me or you will be [TS]

  defeated [TS]

  have you thought about putting that out [TS]

  in handing that to people or is this [TS]

  something we should just into it but [TS]

  it's not something into it it's [TS]

  something that I communicate with my [TS]

  mind bullets are you always finding [TS]

  great articles on the web you'd love to [TS]

  read but just don't have the time [TS]

  instapaper saves webpages for reading [TS]

  later for ipad iphone android kindle you [TS]

  can read when you're waiting on line [TS]

  riding the bus eating breakfast or lying [TS]

  in bed you can even read offline great [TS]

  for when you're on a plane or the subway [TS]

  and don't have an internet connection [TS]

  pages are shown without clutter or [TS]

  distractions you can adjust the text to [TS]

  a comfortable size and font and much [TS]

  more read more and read better by [TS]

  reading later with instapaper get it now [TS]

  instapaper dot-com or search for [TS]

  instapaper in the app store [TS]

  John of hey now i got my bell back you [TS]

  know what we just turned a corner we [TS]

  found a corner we turned it i hope [TS]

  there's no birds john III believe it [TS]

  grackles are commonly I'm looking this [TS]

  up now [TS]

  ok people commonly mistake is a common [TS]

  common common grackle which is they [TS]

  mistakenly call starlings grackles [TS]

  crackles our thing our own bird native [TS]

  to the Americas yes starlings are [TS]

  imported from Europe and so we do have [TS]

  starlings in proliferation there's some [TS]

  fruitcake maybe in New York who wanted [TS]

  to have every hear the story i nostri [TS]

  culture it's a true story if you want to [TS]

  have everything shakespeare is this true [TS]

  all the birds of Shakespearean Central [TS]

  Park [TS]

  I didn't dream that no no and he leaves [TS]

  he released a hundred starlings in [TS]

  central park in 18 whatever seems like a [TS]

  terrible idea and now there are billions [TS]

  and billions you get the invasive [TS]

  exotics oh my goodness [TS]

  um can i just have a class teaches a [TS]

  couple quick questions of this will be [TS]

  quick works okay um do you agree that on [TS]

  the basis of your personality and in the [TS]

  background did that you just say based [TS]

  on your learning and you [TS]

  and your personality you feel like you [TS]

  can go head-to-head with an animal in an [TS]

  environment of mutual respect for the [TS]

  most part for the most part there's [TS]

  something you have trouble with or they [TS]

  have trouble with you [TS]

  no no I mean there are ones that are [TS]

  rabid I'm not gonna mess around the [TS]

  rabbit animal i die i met a guy but you [TS]

  could control you can control i'm sorry [TS]

  to interrupt you to control this [TS]

  relationship with the revenue animal [TS]

  probably better than eighty-five percent [TS]

  of other people i'm guessing it's not a [TS]

  total wild card i have i have enough [TS]

  information that I can I can I could [TS]

  deal with a rabid animal better than you [TS]

  tell me you can deal with promoter but [TS]

  you can't deal with a rabid animal rabid [TS]

  animal habitats animals depending on how [TS]

  far the rabies has progressed who you [TS]

  really the only way to deal with them is [TS]

  with the with the blade end of a shovel [TS]

  you have to think about it twice I would [TS]

  I would I would not I would not kill a [TS]

  rabid animal instantly because it might [TS]

  just be a pet that has eaten some [TS]

  laundry soap i would lose everything is [TS]

  really is a real phone phone is it like [TS]

  spittle like am a student would have [TS]

  welcomed you follow me followme really [TS]

  awful [TS]

  okay so I'm gonna check out possibly [TS]

  sort of yes but it sounds to me like you [TS]

  go ahead [TS]

  would you not agree that in amongst this [TS]

  kingdom and these fight these phylum and [TS]

  and the kingdom's me and cameron the [TS]

  other thing to violence who gave us that [TS]

  Genesis papas you got all these [TS]

  different things and it its deep would [TS]

  you not acknowledge that there is a [TS]

  certain power in that ability to compete [TS]

  with them what I'm trying to get at John [TS]

  is when it is finally time and I don't [TS]

  want you talking timeframe that careless [TS]

  when the supertrain generation well and [TS]

  truly arrives in a way that it's no [TS]

  longer a rumor it's just something [TS]

  you're fucking dealing with now do you [TS]

  think that you might like to be in a [TS]

  position where you can harness some of [TS]

  this power somebody to talk to a spider [TS]

  who can make a monkey net or possibly a [TS]

  grackle common grackle or an uncommon [TS]

  rave and somebody who could go out and [TS]

  literally figure things out on your [TS]

  behalf as an agent for you you reaching [TS]

  date on reproach mall [TS]

  hmm is this something that could be part [TS]

  of the the supertrain program i think it [TS]

  absolutely is you know i have said for [TS]

  many years they could get your way John [TS]

  if you're not in front of this i'm just [TS]

  saying you're gonna you're gonna have to [TS]

  face them down and [TS]

  x-men type situation now it is a it is a [TS]

  natural system that we have we have [TS]

  intruded into with are overthinking and [TS]

  we are now separate from animals in a [TS]

  way that is not entirely necessary in [TS]

  this is the this is the problem that and [TS]

  i recently went to comic-con and and [TS]

  comic-con is an extension of this larger [TS]

  problem that I used to see an indie-rock [TS]

  quite a bit which is the the mistaken [TS]

  idea that everyone is an artist and they [TS]

  just need to get if we just clear out [TS]

  all the all the things in the way of [TS]

  certain people that they are the art [TS]

  that they make is beautiful [TS]

  you know what I mean like everyone's an [TS]

  artist and and it's just that we are [TS]

  inhibited and we are we are locked in [TS]

  our small little world and we need to [TS]

  keep going to be free [TS]

  we need to get free and then art will [TS]

  pour forth and I think that that is a [TS]

  terrible idea [TS]

  it is not true at all not everyone is an [TS]

  artist it's a kind of existential [TS]

  alchemy because not every piece of metal [TS]

  can be made into gold [TS]

  mm like too much in fact no metal can be [TS]

  made into gold [TS]

  most likely crazy but but going to [TS]

  comic-con you see a million people who [TS]

  have been told their whole lives that [TS]

  what they are doing qualifies as art had [TS]

  been congratulated uniform now do you [TS]

  think it's doing that are not art and [TS]

  and then now and they now they believe [TS]

  that it's our own people are encouraged [TS]

  to congratulate them for it it's like [TS]

  actually this isn't none of this what [TS]

  you're doing is arc in the same sense [TS]

  like your dog in a little bit more than [TS]

  your last week like you order that you [TS]

  are on the fence with the bronies last [TS]

  week when I was I'm still on the fence [TS]

  with the bros i think there might be [TS]

  stuff in the brownie brownie seemed nice [TS]

  I think there might be stuff in the [TS]

  brownies that I don't understand there [TS]

  still is stuff at comic-con i know i [TS]

  don't understand but there is also it is [TS]

  absolutely the case but there is stuff [TS]

  that is being that has been presented as [TS]

  art which is not our is an etsy kind of [TS]

  thing we make something you make like a [TS]

  brush and I thought your pubes or [TS]

  something that kind of someone made [TS]

  bread knife out of their pubes i'm gonna [TS]

  call it art and I would not bet on it [TS]

  but I would be happy to watch it be [TS]

  built upon that I I like you I'm trying [TS]

  to keep an open mind and I don't want to [TS]

  get ahead of myself but I'm saying if I [TS]

  could eyeball that thing and I saw that [TS]

  and I saw that it definitely was [TS]

  Brezhnev and probably not pubes i would [TS]

  say success thank you here's your ribbon [TS]

  you know what I mean Franco yeah [TS]

  absolutely [TS]

  the thing is if it looks and i think [TS]

  it's going to look a lot more like kids [TS]

  impression if I mean you know long hairs [TS]

  on the address notwithstanding but with [TS]

  animals like take Dances with Wolves a [TS]

  classic example of a man who is his [TS]

  community with a wolf [TS]

  yeah and they find this commonality that [TS]

  they share now he was not he was not [TS]

  setting the wolf on errands exactly [TS]

  yeah but it was only a matter of time [TS]

  before getting the Wolfers snuggling up [TS]

  around around the fire talking just [TS]

  drinking hxp and water world so I didn't [TS]

  see water world's my oyster the line [TS]

  Kevin Costner the line on Kevin Costner [TS]

  stopped in like 80 well I guess 90 [TS]

  didn't dance with rules that's the one [TS]

  that be good fellows right for the for [TS]

  the Oscar I don't follow their awards so [TS]

  follow martin scorsese okay with that [TS]

  martin scorsese a good guy i support him [TS]

  Goodfellows good movie will seem like an [TS]

  obvious thing to commune with I'm just [TS]

  saying like for example in a comic that [TS]

  I have enjoyed at times that called The [TS]

  Avengers there's a team of these [TS]

  characters [TS]

  no nothing hmm i already feel like the [TS]

  select the crows and other birds of [TS]

  washington state of Western Washington [TS]

  yeah I already feel that they and i are [TS]

  working towards a mutual understanding [TS]

  and it's only a matter of time [TS]

  you're already benefiting from there [TS]

  talking to each other already eyeballed [TS]

  you they've seen this John Roderick he's [TS]

  keep an eye on us you know what will [TS]

  keep his fucking beady eyes on him [TS]

  that's right we need him on our team got [TS]

  eyes on me i do not cross do not come [TS]

  and Brussels my hair on a downtown [TS]

  street no crows i am convinced are going [TS]

  a block or two ahead of me and checking [TS]

  it out and make sure everything's cool [TS]

  and then communicating back is it good [TS]

  for both of you [TS]

  I think so you are you doing are you [TS]

  doing each other favors is it something [TS]

  you know I mean we still talk about [TS]

  daytime and I don't know if you know [TS]

  this but the Russians don't have a word [TS]

  for daytime on one of my all-time [TS]

  favorite question ever that is that a [TS]

  sting work the Russians love their date [TS]

  on too [TS]

  he was doing was I think it was during [TS]

  the Reagan years somebody and his [TS]

  cabinet said that the Russians don't [TS]

  have a word for date on somebody had to [TS]

  point out to him that neither does [TS]

  english haha but um but it you know what [TS]

  I'm saying here i'm not going to think [TS]

  of it this way you know you throw me you [TS]

  throw me the head I three the whip right [TS]

  you're saying if i understand correctly [TS]

  that's a movie quote but i understand [TS]

  correctly you're saying that there is an [TS]

  unstated done squawked on talked about [TS]

  relationship mama says really about [TS]

  business development relationship with [TS]

  the birds [TS]

  that's right that's right I did see I i [TS]

  believe that that particularly these [TS]

  birds is beneath their dignity for me to [TS]

  throw them a bread crust [TS]

  ah they want beneath everybody's didn't [TS]

  yet they would they would happily people [TS]

  to that is against a car rather than [TS]

  have a human being like throw them some [TS]

  food and such a chicken in a rat why the [TS]

  fuck would you feel bird so we're making [TS]

  feed themselves but I feel like it is [TS]

  not it is not a case where I am a mole [TS]

  inside of human society on behalf of the [TS]

  birds and I don't believe that they are [TS]

  the birds that I'm communicating with [TS]

  our like betraying their own culture by [TS]

  by reaching out to me I think that they [TS]

  recognize me as a guest cottage kindred [TS]

  spirit and they say there's a human we [TS]

  can deal with let's just keep that on [TS]

  the back burner if we see something that [TS]

  can help him [TS]

  islip it together we've got a man on the [TS]

  inside literally that's right but in the [TS]

  meantime let's just go our separate ways [TS]

  if it comes down to it we can go to this [TS]

  guy for counsel if there's some human [TS]

  bird war we can go to this guy and yeti [TS]

  well I think things things are going to [TS]

  get tough I think i was looking up [TS]

  yeah well you know did you read about [TS]

  the crazy cat lady disease turns out [TS]

  suppose supposedly there it's in their [TS]

  boots in the cat poop [TS]

  yeah that's right and so but there's I [TS]

  i'm like i can't quote this from memory [TS]

  but but it goes something along the [TS]

  lines of you know there's certain [TS]

  animals that need to have a host you [TS]

  know inside of another animal that's a [TS]

  very interesting thing in the nature and [TS]

  if I remember this correctly there's [TS]

  some kind of a bacteria or whatever it [TS]

  is but it's something new it's in cat [TS]

  poop and and the thing is when and i [TS]

  know crazy cat ladies ping-pong so i [TS]

  apologize it colonizes the crazy cat [TS]

  ladies brains [TS]

  so they keep cats so that they become [TS]

  incubators for the cat poop bug right i [TS]

  want to can stipulate one thing just for [TS]

  myself I don't you don't have to agree [TS]

  with this obviously but i would just [TS]

  like to stipulate this you know when I [TS]

  say cat lady [TS]

  it's ok to have a cat it's potentially [TS]

  okay to have two cats are you afraid of [TS]

  getting letters are you afraid you're [TS]

  going to get letters from people with [TS]

  cast know i just wanna try to help [TS]

  people i can't help people in the level [TS]

  you do but I want to help somebody and [TS]

  let you know to get on someone helps [TS]

  some cats so here's something I what's [TS]

  the maximum number of cats that the same [TS]

  person can have three as three charities [TS]

  real iffy 33 is real for crafts cats is [TS]

  over the border into crazy cats are like [TS]

  tattoos like how do you know when to [TS]

  stop [TS]

  like once you've got one you got fucking [TS]

  i might as well get nine you know and [TS]

  you're going to have animals in your [TS]

  house you're already a little unbalanced [TS]

  and so what is the number of tattoos [TS]

  that you can have that is over the line [TS]

  in your crazy person [TS]

  i won ok write some letters [TS]

  mm well not to worry about people and [TS]

  hepatitis A and I have just like I said [TS]

  14 tattoos and I'm a regular leader sir [TS]

  i am a grackle living inside of a man [TS]

  mask but here's my thinking on this and [TS]

  and I just want to get back to the big [TS]

  bacteria or whatever in a second but [TS]

  here's the thing i think if you've got [TS]

  cat a cat that's fine [TS]

  it's really good if you kind of tidy up [TS]

  after for all of our sakes if you find [TS]

  yourself getting closer and closer to [TS]

  the 10 cat level I think I think it's [TS]

  time to start thinking about some stuff [TS]

  right [TS]

  I think when you get to the greater than [TS]

  10 cat level your operation is slightly [TS]

  higher level [TS]

  no here's the thing i think at this [TS]

  point first also John are you aware that [TS]

  scrapbooking when people say scrapping [TS]

  units code for hoarding right [TS]

  scrapbooking is code for hoarding if you [TS]

  ever go show me somebody [TS]

  this is like this is like Dennis and [TS]

  Kirsten if you show me somebody who is a [TS]

  quote-unquote scrapbooker who's not a [TS]

  hoarder [TS]

  I learned this the other day Hugh Hefner [TS]

  has been keeping scrapbooks since his [TS]

  teen years and he's up to like 3,000 [TS]

  scrapbooks he's not likely to the ladies [TS]

  underwear or like what I don't know he [TS]

  clicks eclipse his newspaper articles [TS]

  any that's the four years said okay [TS]

  there was clear the rest is flowers and [TS]

  stuff i don't know what is [TS]

  doing in these but he has he's got a [TS]

  room in that the the Playboy Mansion [TS]

  involved scrapbook she's been keeping [TS]

  since the thirties right why I made this [TS]

  might be the category error i'm gonna [TS]

  have to figure all this out better stuff [TS]

  yeah but here's what I'm saying I mean [TS]

  there's a commonality and all these [TS]

  things i'm sorry to say [TS]

  all I'm saying is when you get to the [TS]

  point when you have greater than n cats [TS]

  whatever that number is the thing is [TS]

  when they die you have to get rid of [TS]

  them [TS]

  that's I think the big problem is first [TS]

  you start cleaning up the poop and then [TS]

  you stopped getting rid of them when [TS]

  they die and i think when you have more [TS]

  than safe 540 cats and they are dying [TS]

  and I think if you're not getting rid of [TS]

  the bodies on a fairly regular basis [TS]

  it's time to start looking at yourself [TS]

  that's what I'm saying I think that's [TS]

  well past time that you should have been [TS]

  looking I'm trying I'm not trying to [TS]

  judge i'm not judging or you're dead [TS]

  cats [TS]

  well you know what happens in the thing [TS]

  is according to this bacteria or [TS]

  whatever theory is affecting the poop [TS]

  that poops in the house you and now you [TS]

  you suppose that that's that is the best [TS]

  kids song I've ever heard you write like [TS]

  that [TS]

  first there's a cat house and then [TS]

  there's five cats in the cats make poop [TS]

  and that seems that the mountains and [TS]

  the houses in and it's like it could you [TS]

  want to be like one of the school bus [TS]

  campfire songs we eventually go like 99 [TS]

  bottles of beer on the wall you know [TS]

  well before that guy in Florida like to [TS]

  like totally changed face-eating as a [TS]

  mean forever just the bath salts will be [TS]

  yea that well but it wasn't bath salts [TS]

  he was just don't tell you how much it [TS]

  touching cats [TS]

  well I'm talking about cats that were [TS]

  eating people's faces when the people [TS]

  died people would died in their house [TS]

  with 15 cats and they can take their [TS]

  face that was the original face-eating [TS]

  yeah that that's definitely up there in [TS]

  the ways i don't want to go [TS]

  there's a there's a slightly [TS]

  fictionalized well the song is a [TS]

  fictionalized version of that song [TS]

  Murray provost bye bye nick lowe and [TS]

  it's about a former silent film star her [TS]

  dog like eight ER after she died [TS]

  oh she was a winner but she became the [TS]

  doggies dinner he was still developing [TS]

  as a leader assistant yeah yeah Nick [TS]

  Cave niklo don't know that would be [TS]

  great [TS]

  you've been white [TS]

  and cabin nipples actor toes the toes [TS]

  pretty that's [TS]

  but you know why we should get into this [TS]

  because we're already doing it so many [TS]

  letters probably more into written in [TS]

  calligraphy um I I guess I guess what [TS]

  I'm trying to get at is this i think [TS]

  there's obviously you know one it's your [TS]

  show I just think there's so much power [TS]

  in these animals and you can be firm or [TS]

  again them and I think you should you [TS]

  should if I don't tell you what to do [TS]

  but I can't tell you what to do but it [TS]

  seems crazy to me not to leverage the [TS]

  way this could benefit everyone [TS]

  especially the people that you [TS]

  eventually want to smite but that's the [TS]

  thing i cannot at this juncture as much [TS]

  foresight as i have as much inside as I [TS]

  have into these creatures and I cannot [TS]

  see the end [TS]

  from where I stand I've been working on [TS]

  my relationships with the raccoons of [TS]

  the Northwest my entire life and I feel [TS]

  like the raccoons and I understand one [TS]

  another but they are inscrutable to me i [TS]

  can I do not have the power to command [TS]

  them and they don't that they don't seem [TS]

  to mean they definitely want to engage [TS]

  we have long conversations but then they [TS]

  they do their little bow and put their [TS]

  little hands together and do the little [TS]

  like the same phenomena state bow and [TS]

  then they are often to the darkness and [TS]

  I'd I just I feel like it is not a [TS]

  relationship that I'm trying to I'm [TS]

  trying to shape or move in any direction [TS]

  i'm just waiting and watching and [TS]

  keeping every once in a while we meet in [TS]

  a dark alley and I say hello and they [TS]

  say namaste and we go our separate ways [TS]

  and even if even if i die and all of [TS]

  this collected wisdom and it all just [TS]

  don't think I I don't think you'll die [TS]

  John well it's it's conceivable if it [TS]

  happens I think what will happen is that [TS]

  that that that someone will take me out [TS]

  i'm sure i've already got a cross hairs [TS]

  on me you think it might be the animal [TS]

  that does it [TS]

  no no not at all the animals know the [TS]

  animals no no and i think i think the [TS]

  animals have probably protected me so [TS]

  thus far in ways you may not even know [TS]

  that's button here [TS]

  the thing now that spider you never know [TS]

  could be Charlotte's Web Wilson type [TS]

  situation it could be something with [TS]

  that monkey net is there because you're [TS]

  not supposed to be in the top maybe [TS]

  there's letting that time and it would [TS]

  be stupid if you liked it [TS]

  you're looking stuff very close to the [TS]

  let you know you can have led you by [TS]

  ingo your walgreens you buy a kit to [TS]

  find how much like you got your bathtub [TS]

  did you know that i didn't know but you [TS]

  know much like we have in our bathtub [TS]

  about shit tons in your bathtub 1928 [TS]

  they don't replace much i think our [TS]

  furnaces original but you know when [TS]

  you're when you first get your kid you [TS]

  worry about it [TS]

  yeah you don't worry about as much later [TS]

  the other did you do you don't you know [TS]

  baby your daughter because of the LED [TS]

  well I mean now we don't want to get [TS]

  into your parenting know we know you [TS]

  don't want to get into my parenting [TS]

  that's a record and Ally my friend but [TS]

  no well as easy in the early days [TS]

  because you get a little bucket you [TS]

  watch it watch the child a bucket and [TS]

  there's no letting buckets by and large [TS]

  as long as you if there is let you [TS]

  remove it [TS]

  did I do a good job as a parent that I [TS]

  never watched my kid in a bucket when [TS]

  she was small enough to go into a bucket [TS]

  I think it depends it depends if you did [TS]

  you do the same core did you just do it [TS]

  down ecology do it from the time she was [TS]

  she was very very little person i just [TS]

  took her in the bathtub with me with you [TS]

  so I had a sandwich I had the coffee i [TS]

  had the smoothie the newspapers and then [TS]

  I had this little uh zygote like a [TS]

  little bouncy see her when she was just [TS]

  such a kind of floating apparatus now [TS]

  she's set on my me huh [TS]

  I don't think that's so bad as long as [TS]

  you don't you know center with the sub [TS]

  she didn't die [TS]

  no all you know Mazel Tov I I don't see [TS]

  a problem in the world with that like [TS]

  yeah although the one the one fear of [TS]

  course the whole time was that she was [TS]

  going to poop but you never did because [TS]

  again i looked at her she looked at me [TS]

  who there was an understanding yes she [TS]

  said namaste [TS]

  I said no poop in the bathtub you never [TS]

  you never got one of those huh [TS]

  she's never pooped on me never had a man [TS]

  on the boat I we had that we had one [TS]

  very tiny one that we all felt a little [TS]

  bit bad about but wasn't I've heard [TS]

  people save me some people to make them [TS]

  they make it sound like you know [TS]

  something happens all the time [TS]

  well there are a lot of people who are [TS]

  doing a terrible terrible terrible job [TS]

  of raising their kids [TS]

  well I think one thing is they let their [TS]

  kids know that it's okay to poop and I [TS]

  think when you send that message out [TS]

  that's going to be reinforced it's [TS]

  something that you know they-they-they [TS]

  I think your child should never know [TS]

  that you poop you you should you should [TS]

  just assume that when they're in the [TS]

  bathroom they're probably having a sob [TS]

  working on some kind of relationship [TS]

  with grackles and raccoons you serious [TS]

  that's daddy's strategy room [TS]

  yeah as they as they say you know with [TS]

  every generation the the parenting style [TS]

  switches you have a generation of strict [TS]

  parents and then a generation of leaders [TS]

  and parents who solutely i personally [TS]

  agree I agree with that yes and and now [TS]

  i am the I'm the new generation of [TS]

  strict parent I do not want my child to [TS]

  think it's okay for them to do anything [TS]

  that's not okay for them that's just not [TS]

  okay [TS]

  it is it guilt is it self-doubt is it [TS]

  fear what was there one governing thing [TS]

  that you've instilled in her with terror [TS]

  guilt self doubt or fear no none of [TS]

  those things I I don't want her to feel [TS]

  guilty or any self-doubt or any fear of [TS]

  anything other than me [TS]

  it's strictly fear of dad she's passing [TS]

  everything through and add filter [TS]

  yeah it's just like what's dad gonna say [TS]

  about this dad your name [TS]

  I think I can't think of a possible way [TS]

  that could go wrong no it's not it's [TS]

  it's foolproof [TS]

  even if you give it if you're killed by [TS]

  the Ravens at some point now they'll [TS]

  probably come in like with the mob they [TS]

  might come in and actually want to take [TS]

  care of her [TS]

  I don't think they always do that a [TS]

  hundred percent you know when i'm going [TS]

  to record because I'm already [TS]

  introducing her to all the birds she [TS]

  know that she has never known a world in [TS]

  which she was not being held up two [TS]

  birds and told to say hi [TS]

  so then the birds know the birds know [TS]

  that she's the Arab don't get--don't get [TS]

  too friendly right don't go nuts [TS]

  yeah you're not going to touch the birds [TS]

  they don't that you don't want that [TS]

  don't they have dander birds who yeah [TS]

  they do have dancer but i'm not talking [TS]

  about there are no birds in my house [TS]

  except for the owls that periodically [TS]

  appear in my bed I I've got that on a [TS]

  car here one day I think well got down [TS]

  there so much we should really have we [TS]

  should have a probably in addition to [TS]

  Hitler's tough couple other properties i [TS]

  think the Owls I mean aren't vowels in [TS]

  any form and I understand these are real [TS]

  owls that were really there [TS]

  I understand that right on you don't [TS]

  think that that's that's telling you [TS]

  something or pushing you in a direction [TS]

  it seems to me this is your I know [TS]

  you're 90 you're not a papist but it [TS]

  seems to me this is your this is your [TS]

  for 40 days in the desert type situation [TS]

  this is the Damascus Road for me [TS]

  yeah i do not but [TS]

  unlike a lot of unlike a lot of profits [TS]

  unlike a lot of people who to Jesus [TS]

  appears on the Damascus Road him who [TS]

  will go unnamed in this podcast who i am [TS]

  not somebody who's going to sit down and [TS]

  write it all down thinking that I know [TS]

  what it is [TS]

  look at that I'm not some Muhammad like [TS]

  person easy to write a Koran god i am [TS]

  gonna get so much you're gonna get so [TS]

  much [TS]

  Abraham at cosplay email you know what [TS]

  you know what I'm going to get a lot of [TS]

  letters [TS]

  I'm gonna get a lot of letters from [TS]

  people who are very very angry that i [TS]

  took mom's name in vain none of whom are [TS]

  actually Muslims they're just a bunch of [TS]

  liberals from bellingham who are upset [TS]

  on behalf of our non monkey what could [TS]

  be more ping pong then apologizing [TS]

  they're protecting somebody on their [TS]

  behalf what could be looking at more [TS]

  ping pong it is the it is the ultimate [TS]

  condescension and it is at the core of [TS]

  our of our left of society now but I [TS]

  don't want to get into that ok i do not [TS]

  know what the Owls want and i am not [TS]

  speculating I'm waiting I'm just waiting [TS]

  John had to tell you for somebody who's [TS]

  pillows turn to owls you seem very very [TS]

  centered about this entire thing [TS]

  well it all is good it all leads to [TS]

  something yeah [TS]

  something yeah [TS]

  and I do it has i am I have to [TS]

  understand at this point that i do not [TS]

  have all the information it's not that I [TS]

  have stopped researching know and I'm [TS]

  all the more reason that I am looking [TS]

  birds in the eye because maybe one day [TS]

  one of those eyes is going to flash me I [TS]

  John I'm gonna need an extra extra extra [TS]

  desk because I just I just had a flash [TS]

  of something like enlightenment or I'm [TS]

  seeing I'm seeing a thread here you're [TS]

  open to bronies you're looking at birds [TS]

  that's right right your jacket first [TS]

  you're checking for spooks in the [TS]

  corners that's correct [TS]

  you've got you've got the Owls there and [TS]

  they're there they're not talking to you [TS]

  because I was don't talk but they're [TS]

  there [TS]

  John I think somewhere in this is a [TS]

  through-line we've got to keep doing [TS]

  this show because I think we're going i [TS]

  III don't know I you're going to be fine [TS]

  either way you have grackles crows and [TS]

  ravens to protect you but I think [TS]

  there's something here that can help a [TS]

  lot of people you have clearly tapped [TS]

  into or been tapped in to buy something [TS]

  very significant well my feelings [TS]

  feelings when you walk around you feel [TS]

  that gravitas you go to the mall and you [TS]

  do you feel that sense that there's a [TS]

  weight on your shoulders that your you [TS]

  could be a very important character [TS]

  well since I was very young I understood [TS]

  that I was an important character but I [TS]

  never felt as a weight it is a [TS]

  responsibility if the weight is a gift [TS]

  the weight is a gift well oh my god [TS]

  sometimes when i cross the street I I i [TS]

  haven't i'm not going to say much about [TS]

  this [TS]

  a friend has not mean sometimes crosses [TS]

  the street [TS]

  knowing that it's gonna be a tough [TS]

  street knowing that it is near the time [TS]

  of day usually you know i am the western [TS]

  part of town people going down the [TS]

  street the Suns in their eyes they're [TS]

  blowing through stop signs top street [TS]

  doesn't hurt to have a handful of [TS]

  pennies [TS]

  whoa ya roar or if they're driving real [TS]

  fast the other direction you hit him [TS]

  with a handful of pennies [TS]

  I wouldn't why I know is I now if that [TS]

  happened to you from God right [TS]

  oh my god well if somebody threw a [TS]

  handful of pennies of my car I would [TS]

  pull up the emergency brake [TS]

  yeah and 24 points like slide stop and [TS]

  be out of the car before the card stop [TS]

  moving [TS]

  good luck chasing through the park up [TS]

  because you know what I mean you know [TS]

  I'm saying it's like the Vietcong [TS]

  they know where the rabbit holes are [TS]

  your heroes you're sitting there you're [TS]

  sitting there and you're white pickup [TS]

  truck going for opinion to my car okay [TS]

  that people you know there are several [TS]

  up any you don't throw a handful of [TS]

  friends I don't throw anything jealousy [TS]

  but your friend your your friends not [TS]

  your friend is not me [TS]

  throws one pen i think you know and [TS]

  here's the thing you get off that one of [TS]

  the streetcars and streetcars that you [TS]

  leave out of now if you did your if you [TS]

  did you're leaping exit you may very [TS]

  well get hit by some dick because the [TS]

  law is so clear here and this is a good [TS]

  law the law is that train stops you stop [TS]

  you do not cross the plain of the back [TS]

  of the Train [TS]

  well your front of your car you sit [TS]

  there like a fucking gentleman don't I [TS]

  every person every old lady every little [TS]

  aged man and his adorable daughter get [TS]

  off of that train and you sit there and [TS]

  you don't make a face but people don't [TS]

  do this well this is wesley pedestrian [TS]

  penny should be a thing here i think if [TS]

  you do that if you if you start even [TS]

  sliding up the doors are closed you [TS]

  should wait until the trains gone [TS]

  I think there's a technique that i have [TS]

  used to great effect over the years [TS]

  adestria pennies and it is it's in the [TS]

  family of throwing the penny and that is [TS]

  if a car goes by you too closely have a [TS]

  car takes a corner and you were about to [TS]

  step off the sidewalk across the road [TS]

  and suddenly this guy right in front of [TS]

  you if you kick the car really hard and [TS]

  then act like an injury talking about [TS]

  you talk about hood and trunk a quarter [TS]

  quarter panel within a quarter in your [TS]

  bills get if you can hit a truck a trunk [TS]

  though they didn't you know what I mean [TS]

  they sped by their busy not looking at [TS]

  you because they're embarrassed right [TS]

  right thing is the trunk [TS]

  it's like a kettledrum but if you kick a [TS]

  quarter panel you can actually you can [TS]

  actually do some damage immediately and [TS]

  a quarter panel the last quarter-century [TS]

  i left the house that's just that's a [TS]

  joke this quarter panel you go boom and [TS]

  then they look in their rearview mirror [TS]

  and you are grabbing your leg and ride [TS]

  any negative 80 [TS]

  Oh half the time the Carl stop and the [TS]

  personal get out and say we got him so [TS]

  sorry [TS]

  and then you can like do the walk it off [TS]

  like so it's cool it's cool [TS]

  watch where you're going and yeah walk [TS]

  it off but other times they speed off [TS]

  and then that haunts them they'd never I [TS]

  would never try to defend pedestrian [TS]

  pennies i don't need to i've never done [TS]

  it but here's what i will tell you John [TS]

  i do not know a lot about life you know [TS]

  about life and i hope you'll tell me if [TS]

  this resonates with you there are very [TS]

  few people who do a bad thing one time [TS]

  oh that's absolutely true I think you're [TS]

  gonna go villains if you're going to go [TS]

  out and make yourself the lady horse I [TS]

  don't think you do that one time [TS]

  yes of course let's be honest you have [TS]

  to have the first time [TS]

  yeah i'm just saying that for all kinds [TS]

  of bad diddling in particular I don't [TS]

  think you just go that's fine i've had [TS]

  my six-pack and now I'm done [TS]

  no no no you don't you ask the late you [TS]

  escalate it goes higher you watching it [TS]

  usually you read any of these books [TS]

  about the Quantico which i think might [TS]

  be a bit of a scam but you read about [TS]

  the Quantico you read about the studying [TS]

  you read about the lecture and you learn [TS]

  that it goes up and up and up to get [TS]

  back to Chikatilo but this is that but [TS]

  it is possible i believe that this is [TS]

  one of the big problems of growing up is [TS]

  you want to say it is possible to learn [TS]

  and grow because you want to be able to [TS]

  learn and grow yourself but at the same [TS]

  time you have to look at other people [TS]

  and realize that it's very unusual that [TS]

  someone learns or grows as they get [TS]

  older [TS]

  really and in my own case back in the [TS]

  soul patch days I was kicking people's [TS]

  quarter panels and pretending that [TS]

  they'd run over my legs well of course [TS]

  you're out you're kicking truth to power [TS]

  but I don't do it anymore because I've [TS]

  learned and grown and so when a car cuts [TS]

  me off now I just liked it i just go you [TS]

  will get yours down the road when the [TS]

  birds come to pick out your eyes [TS]

  in the meantime until you really are you [TS]

  thinking I you so the first of all [TS]

  kudos it sounds to me like you've [TS]

  evolved thank you you get rid of that [TS]

  fucking beard I used to have one I look [TS]

  so stupid i was little haha i had one in [TS]

  the early 2000s an execrable it looked [TS]

  awful you look great in a Mustang I [TS]

  don't know why you don't wear one that's [TS]

  not even that's not even funny segment [TS]

  joke i don't know your mustache is [TS]

  spectacular you look like you look like [TS]

  but the prince and the princess bride [TS]

  you know i was younger i look at roberts [TS]

  what you know when I was younger I i was [TS]

  told by many people that I look like a [TS]

  cross between him and Michael Palin [TS]

  which should you thank you and thank you [TS]

  now is now have a look at ted scurry if [TS]

  you grew a mustache right now you would [TS]

  look immediately like the dread pirate [TS]

  roberts who had aged a little bit except [TS]

  that the catcher's mitt [TS]

  um I boy there's levels to this John [TS]

  there's so many levels to this I you [TS]

  know I'm i guess i shouldn't really push [TS]

  your buttons about this animal issue [TS]

  because it's probably something you [TS]

  can't talk about but I'm fascinated by [TS]

  that I'm trying to grow as a person John [TS]

  Roderick i'm trying i first of all you [TS]

  know what I mean it's like a mountain to [TS]

  Mohammed no offense but like you start [TS]

  out and you're kicking offenders in the [TS]

  soul patch right there you go a little [TS]

  further and it will fuck you the birds [TS]

  gonna pick your eyes out one day I want [TS]

  to reach the point in life where I've [TS]

  given up on the boot is amount of time [TS]

  to sit I'm not gonna do it not the [TS]

  Buddhism I just like just die I'm you [TS]

  know it's boring it's all you got a lot [TS]

  of rules it's got a lot of rules all [TS]

  religions to that's the thing about them [TS]

  ok so anyway I and so you know where i [TS]

  want to evolve to the point where I and [TS]

  this is this is the phrase this has [TS]

  become it's certainly not mantra but [TS]

  it's something I think about the phrases [TS]

  stupid not allowed to stick to me and so [TS]

  now you're you're stupid tough lon [TS]

  yeah that's the kind of call the dr phil [TS]

  ism I'm stupid teflon stupids not [TS]

  allowed to that might be the awesomest [TS]

  rapper name ever [TS]

  stupid tough climbs ECMC stupid teflon [TS]

  up [TS]

  look at me and you can see stupid not [TS]

  allowed to stick to me what am I this [TS]

  fact ways what the fuck kind of wrapping [TS]

  is that I don't know it sounded it [TS]

  sounded like some some really bad [TS]

  sounded like something that would be [TS]

  happening at the gathering of the [TS]

  juggalos sounds like something happened [TS]

  a corporate event really let's break up [TS]

  Bob Henderson to do is wrap up [TS]

  everything about the hold steady now [TS]

  oh and that's going on the card with a [TS]

  religion i'm cutting all of that out you [TS]

  see another bad word about the cold [TS]

  study and you're going to have a record [TS]

  in your house my friend I believe you [TS]

  are needed your raccoon in here already [TS]

  don't you like Bruce Springsteen don't [TS]

  okay so um I'm trying to grow as i like [TS]

  you personally I think he's a super guy [TS]

  i was on an airplane the other day and I [TS]

  next was like [TS]

  yeah so I so what do you do and I'm like [TS]

  I'm a musician he's like oh really what [TS]

  kind of Mandy and I God's rock-and-roll [TS]

  bands like you mean like the boss I got [TS]

  all around fucking here early early in [TS]

  the wild it right away many things in [TS]

  his backpack [TS]

  he's there with his daughter as lawyers [TS]

  like like 13 no idea how lucky he was to [TS]

  have her there is that the daughters [TS]

  looking out the window the whole time he [TS]

  digs in his backpack and produces us a [TS]

  fistful I'm a fistful of a slim jims is [TS]

  like a jerky and I feel like I gotta [TS]

  take a jerk you off this guy [TS]

  it's it's a gesture that's a human [TS]

  gesture on an airplane to offer to you [TS]

  somebody wasn't a branded macho man [TS]

  randy savage style slim jim [TS]

  no no it was just it was just a regular [TS]

  slim just like a trader joes jerky it [TS]

  was not a trader joes jerk you know it [TS]

  was a properly it was a proper like full [TS]

  of chemicals and and whatever those also [TS]

  sweet and salty like for real like [TS]

  teriyaki canada jerky [TS]

  yeah but not even teriyaki flavor this [TS]

  was all standard form nitrate [TS]

  impregnated Jerky's eat it [TS]

  yeah it like a half a dozen of every [TS]

  time I would finish want to be like one [TS]

  another jerky as he's talking to me [TS]

  about the boss I'll John that sounds [TS]

  like a jam up as someone as as people [TS]

  who are into the boss do we're talking [TS]

  to you about the boss as though you they [TS]

  are Mormons and your Mormons but you [TS]

  have never heard of Mormonism right like [TS]

  you obviously understand and art as just [TS]

  as big a fan but they're also repeating [TS]

  everything just in case you didn't know [TS]

  about you just in case you didn't know [TS]

  that Nebraska was his best record and [TS]

  I'm sitting next to this guy's a [TS]

  perfectly nice guy I kept trying to [TS]

  steer the conversation to Dylan because [TS]

  he also wanted to talk about dylan but [TS]

  he kept bringing it back to the boss and [TS]

  I just don't have that much to say about [TS]

  the boss i'm not opposed to the park [TS]

  well i mean i'm going to change the [TS]

  subject to the best of my ability here [TS]

  yeah which is that you know I really [TS]

  don't like steer the conversation guy [TS]

  and it happens on planes and what I'm [TS]

  gonna play nice on a plane this past [TS]

  week and I mean I eat I think it's super [TS]

  important in the first especially before [TS]

  all my god before the flight but [TS]

  especially in the period before the food [TS]

  really up until just the point of right [TS]

  before landing murugan final ism like [TS]

  you have to throw a shape that you are [TS]

  not going to be the talkie person that [TS]

  you're not going to be receptive that's [TS]

  when they go all scream all you're not [TS]

  gonna respond you're not gonna move you [TS]

  don't hear you're not there you're not [TS]

  there but the problem with this flight [TS]

  it was a flight to San Diego and I [TS]

  thought I made the name made the [TS]

  category error of thinking that West [TS]

  Coast flights for me are all really [TS]

  short it's like I got on a plane i'll be [TS]

  in san francisco in our city temporarily [TS]

  they're just like but there's just it's [TS]

  just like I'm just walking through a [TS]

  door basically walk through a door onto [TS]

  a metal tube full of long pigs are far [TS]

  too full of long pigs [TS]

  I'm gonna be on here for a few minutes [TS]

  and then I'm off the other side i'm [TS]

  somewhere else but San Diego's [TS]

  two-and-a-half hours away it was a long [TS]

  it's not a long time san diego might as [TS]

  well be Mexico [TS]

  yeah it's Mexico with volleyball san [TS]

  diego is wow wow it's not even that it's [TS]

  boring it's like it's worse than boring [TS]

  because it's boring and also karate [TS]

  right it's also like karate like a [TS]

  crotch its gravity like a crotch but [TS]

  it's like light like it like a nut [TS]

  butter churn [TS]

  it's it's like you eat you walk past [TS]

  these places and you think there are [TS]

  still bars like that [TS]

  all right there are still bars like that [TS]

  aren't in southern Europe where people [TS]

  are are just are that CD but also boring [TS]

  i was a terrible combination [TS]

  yes ed is is often at least at least in [TS]

  the Fourier of innocent people who [TS]

  choose still cheap things exactly you [TS]

  know i mean it if you see is that am I [TS]

  wrong [TS]

  no that's exactly right i read something [TS]

  once this is pretty good career advice I [TS]

  thought which is and i have broken [TS]

  broken in my entire life but I never [TS]

  never steal anything more expensive than [TS]

  a pencil where you work [TS]

  I think it's true i think when you steal [TS]

  you still big you guys still fucking big [TS]

  you still little you know what I'm [TS]

  saying [TS]

  that would be like that would be like [TS]

  having a wife that you love and uh [TS]

  necking with somebody you know that's [TS]

  what is acceptable gross like I [TS]

  personally I I have no interest I mean [TS]

  like I couldn't live with myself if I [TS]

  did something like that but if I don't [TS]

  you wanna know how I always fucking blow [TS]

  it out your wife is gonna be at that [TS]

  it's going to be the playboy mansion and [TS]

  it's going to be like three days not [TS]

  even all got the Playboy Mansion man [TS]

  ah they could make my pants miller place [TS]

  like that it would be a lot darker John [TS]

  it would be a lot darker that right to [TS]

  be able to be a donkey show and TJ [TS]

  that's my favorite hold steady records [TS]

  uh-uh there's a talking he's up on the [TS]

  stage that donkeys up Terry's filled [TS]

  with rage and tiana yeah i'm reading out [TS]

  of our employee handbook going on the [TS]

  list goes on the list [TS]

  they're so good Bruce cavity in the [TS]

  beaver Brown bow [TS]

  god dammit you get an anti bell for this [TS]

  Oded Bell is so much to cover [TS]

  ok so i think people who steal cheap [TS]

  things are are tedious yeah right and [TS]

  it's petty already you're like you're [TS]

  like Peter Lorre you're like me many [TS]

  people who still big things are are are [TS]

  are petty and small you gotta really [TS]

  steal big to learn my admiration [TS]

  well I this is something we obviously [TS]

  cannot get into but but I you're wealthy [TS]

  rock star but getting something I'm just [TS]

  saying you're not going to a fucking [TS]

  kickstarter for super train people to [TS]

  see that coming a mile off you're going [TS]

  to need some substantial James Bond [TS]

  villain type shit to bootstrap [TS]

  supertrain speaking of which there's an [TS]

  island in the middle of San Francisco [TS]

  Bay a five-acre island uninhabited that [TS]

  recently was on the market for 22 [TS]

  million dollars and the other day i read [TS]

  an article in the real estate section [TS]

  level of a newspaper that will go [TS]

  unnamed that said that the price of this [TS]

  island had been reduced to five million [TS]

  dollars [TS]

  well this is the island veterans haunted [TS]

  John it's over by sausalito like it's [TS]

  between Alcatraz and like over by Angel [TS]

  Island is that these little islands I [TS]

  and I remember hearing that there was [TS]

  enough for second thoughts about the [TS]

  Farallones which would not be a nice [TS]

  place to live but but you're saying [TS]

  right in that super expensive Hebraic [TS]

  area nearer nearer and Angel Island but [TS]

  tiburon like your typical on that kind [TS]

  of area right there is an island for [TS]

  sale over there 45 million dollars and [TS]

  it occurred to me that five million [TS]

  dollars for a lot of people in San [TS]

  Francisco is just the interest payment [TS]

  on their boat [TS]

  I cannot believe that some it's called [TS]

  what is it called Red Rock Island look [TS]

  this up here it is right here [TS]

  well I mean obviously you don't you're [TS]

  selling past the clothes it's a [TS]

  no-brainer [TS]

  I would take the battery i would pick up [TS]

  every island if there is not one [TS]

  available i'd buy it [TS]

  yeah if I work for apple or some other [TS]

  companies out there that it was paying [TS]

  people and when I know where the source [TS]

  of your facts come from when you have a [TS]

  new file card on some phenomena and [TS]

  based on hearing something from one or [TS]

  two people i like to know [TS]

  rare occasionally I will know where that [TS]

  came from [TS]

  anyway in this one instance this island [TS]

  red rock island for sale at examples [TS]

  just obey six acres of rock and it is [TS]

  now only five million dollars i can't [TS]

  believe up first of all I am super mad [TS]

  that I don't have five million dollars [TS]

  because I would be buying that island [TS]

  right now and what an incredible place [TS]

  for your evil genius like you make if [TS]

  you had if you had if you had paper [TS]

  mache and five gay men you could not [TS]

  make a scary-looking villain island in [TS]

  that isn't that incredible village it is [TS]

  literally read it is and it looks like [TS]

  from an angle it looks like a pirate [TS]

  ship you would be living on that island [TS]

  and open i think you would build a [TS]

  one-story house with a lot of glass and [TS]

  a helipad and you would be so evil over [TS]

  there I don't know united into the [TS]

  comics in the Avengers but we should get [TS]

  back to a man at some point but you but [TS]

  do you think most of that would be [TS]

  subterranean I'm just thinking I i of [TS]

  course you mean the what it would look [TS]

  like a mansion but then are ye I see [TS]

  what you're saying you'd have you have [TS]

  hundreds of guys all wearing jumpsuits [TS]

  running back and forth and no brainer [TS]

  you have a tube at all the other guys [TS]

  series of tubes that could get them to [TS]

  various different places you can have [TS]

  one when that goes to the whole foods [TS]

  but one goes to the NY wholly-owned [TS]

  Island in San Francisco is that right [TS]

  I've kidding me that's you know what I [TS]

  just what the fuck is wrong with this [TS]

  city [TS]

  why do I not on this already John [TS]

  there's there's there's no there's no [TS]

  reason the fucking reason that you [TS]

  should not on this island [TS]

  you know I understand you've got you've [TS]

  gotten and your sometimes up sahtain [TS]

  that's right but but this is that you [TS]

  know what you should go you should go [TS]

  talk to your boss and do all your suit [TS]

  up boss you should talk to your contact [TS]

  your field agent [TS]

  you should talk to paul allen about this [TS]

  that's walking around money for him [TS]

  what I'm thinking we could take you what [TS]

  I'm thinking is we have a lot of [TS]

  listeners to this program [TS]

  yeah we have a lot of listeners of this [TS]

  program is how is the racing starter I'm [TS]

  turning the whole thing off what is the [TS]

  right to my work is the right word that [TS]

  I'm looking for the continued [TS]

  constituents about we have a large [TS]

  constituency that right what you say [TS]

  that i would say it said that and some [TS]

  of those people are software [TS]

  billionaires and there's eyes and [TS]

  they're sitting right now in an [TS]

  unfurnished house right on the same [TS]

  couch that they brought from their [TS]

  college dorms and they're looking up [TS]

  they have one poster on the wall and [TS]

  it's a put a poster of a white Porsche [TS]

  it's like something by josh Josh Wheaton [TS]

  I'll best up from a TV show serenity [TS]

  they're sitting in their house there and [TS]

  it's one of those houses where the [TS]

  entryway is like three stories tall but [TS]

  there's no furniture in it and they're [TS]

  like they're sitting on beanbag chair [TS]

  there listening to Roderick on the line [TS]

  and they're thinking god I should buy [TS]

  that island for John Roderick yeah and [TS]

  if it after they should have to turn the [TS]

  show off and they sit down with their [TS]

  vegan wheatgrass and listen to [TS]

  intelligent dance music whatever the [TS]

  fuck that is they take a moment to think [TS]

  they pull out an extremely costly [TS]

  fountain pen that they hardly ever use [TS]

  they walk out by the immaculately gift [TS]

  oh well could be maybe they got it from [TS]

  my with some of their the the stock [TS]

  options you go out to the pool that you [TS]

  never use right here your beer your [TS]

  basic you're basically what's his name [TS]

  Benjamin Braddock right you're basically [TS]

  the graduates you know dad at this point [TS]

  even though you're like 20 you want [TS]

  fucking hoodie right yeah and so you go [TS]

  and you think yourself for a minute you [TS]

  start to get up she started foundation i [TS]

  should change the world [TS]

  I should make a rubber bracelet fuck you [TS]

  buy an island for John Roderick that's [TS]

  right that's just a change the world if [TS]

  I was that if i have that i am the world [TS]

  would beget would that would be the [TS]

  first sign this is your state and land [TS]

  John the thing is you need a foothold [TS]

  the thing is this is not i'm just going [TS]

  to say i don't want to say too much here [TS]

  this is not gonna sustain the level of [TS]

  fucked upness that you're going to be [TS]

  bringing forth the supertrain just and [TS]

  let's be honest right now a train can't [TS]

  get there [TS]

  that's the dressing implementation [TS]

  problem today that they used to think [TS]

  you couldn't find a Paris [TS]

  that's right they used to think you [TS]

  could take a train to Paris but i don't [TS]

  use a rock climbing for this is a [TS]

  foothold this is a place it looks like a [TS]

  fuckin pirate ship it will not cost you [TS]

  know what they do a lot of times done [TS]

  are you telling me if I understand [TS]

  correctly [TS]

  are you telling me they wanted 20-some [TS]

  million dollars for this and then bust [TS]

  it down to five million the comment is a [TS]

  distressed property this is I'm gonna [TS]

  try to move they probably they probably [TS]

  you know what they probably and not a [TS]

  refi you know when people don't pay [TS]

  their mortgage you know they don't sell [TS]

  or yeah you know it's really hard yard [TS]

  possession exactly they went into the [TS]

  yard possession on this they don't do it [TS]

  now that have to pay the electricity [TS]

  they're having to pay for the pirate [TS]

  flag there's no electricity out there [TS]

  not that you know of alright well the [TS]

  thing is I who owned it before them [TS]

  about you you know it's not some family [TS]

  for many many years and I bet you what [TS]

  happened is they go out there and they [TS]

  realize that it's an Indian burial [TS]

  ground or something like that they spent [TS]

  the night on the beach one time and can [TS]

  in a tent in the middle of the night [TS]

  entire army of dead soldiers came and [TS]

  spooked him [TS]

  mm and they were like we can't live on [TS]

  that island let's get out of here and [TS]

  they split the island has been [TS]

  undeveloped all these years but I feel [TS]

  like my experience enables me to go to [TS]

  that Island and make a day Tom's a [TS]

  reproach moment with whatever spooks are [TS]

  there and say listen [TS]

  listen spooks right this island is going [TS]

  to be the headquarter let's talk right [TS]

  of of of super train and a of an evil [TS]

  empire that I building which is not evil [TS]

  it's chaotic good that's they're often [TS]

  mistaken for one another who but I need [TS]

  your help here and the first thing we [TS]

  need to do is like put the kibosh on [TS]

  some of this spookin and get you like [TS]

  back into a comfortable place if that [TS]

  means I have to burn some sage I will [TS]

  mmm i'm not going to have not gonna put [TS]

  up any prayer flags or anything like [TS]

  that you know but if you need like a [TS]

  like a water feature [TS]

  even though we're on an island in the [TS]

  middle of a bay i'll put up a little [TS]

  drippy water feature if that soothes you [TS]

  that calms you get him giving focus and [TS]

  then we can get to work building a [TS]

  network of tunnels and then a and a and [TS]

  a big sort of like a Frank Lloyd Wright [TS]

  style house on the top [TS]

  not Frank Perry about Frank you don't [TS]

  want to look like a like a slinky that [TS]

  somebody stepped on [TS]

  i thinkyou 2007 Glickman now a gem [TS]

  dealer in Thailand what I now it was [TS]

  reading the Glickman mhm but there's a [TS]

  plan haiti's to cut off the top half of [TS]

  the island what a goddamn shame and [TS]

  asshole [TS]

  we're all god dammit John I think you [TS]

  have do you're going to have to burn [TS]

  some fucking serious sage and the [TS]

  nineteen eighties plane was floated plan [TS]

  was floated you know Wikipedia but never [TS]

  implemented to remove the top half the [TS]

  island which would be sold for highway [TS]

  roadbed construction this guy stick it [TS]

  on the supertrain level the island would [TS]

  then be developed with a 10-story hotel [TS]

  and casino 10 stories on that island [TS]

  really or and a yacht harbor on the [TS]

  league which apparently means northside [TS]

  water and power would be provided [TS]

  connected to the San Rafael bridge [TS]

  ok ok so here we go step 0 first of all [TS]

  you got it gets five million dollars [TS]

  plus whatever you get when you have a [TS]

  distressed property John a lot of times [TS]

  you can go in as I understand it your [TS]

  property owner I am NOT yeah you go into [TS]

  someplace and you say oh this seems like [TS]

  a pretty nice place while used to be a [TS]

  lot more expensive i'd like to make some [TS]

  renovations and I'm just thinking the [TS]

  renovations might not be anything [TS]

  you know what they need to not be things [TS]

  anyone sees but put it put a couple [TS]

  power plugs just get you started a place [TS]

  to leave if you want to listen to music [TS]

  or you want to be able to heat up a sub [TS]

  there i'd already be tunnels on that [TS]

  island but not be surprised at all [TS]

  things I I what what the secret to do to [TS]

  do this correctly would be that as [TS]

  you're building a network of tunnels the [TS]

  Frank Lloyd Wright style house that you [TS]

  built on the top you make a big show of [TS]

  making it zero-emission it's green it's [TS]

  a good thing he's asleep and you got [TS]

  solar panels we got a solar-powered [TS]

  elevator [TS]

  everybody thinks that you are a that you [TS]

  are a super good billionaire your house [TS]

  is so green it generates power and you [TS]

  fucking give it away right you get [TS]

  little you give it back to the San [TS]

  Rafael bridge which I don't think is a [TS]

  real bridge but you have those lines [TS]

  lines already no problem we're going to [TS]

  shoot that right back to you [TS]

  you're welcome that's bad that's to you [TS]

  that's from us because we are green and [TS]

  we have the island in san francisco bay [TS]

  and God bless america [TS]

  you can open an educational center there [TS]

  question center the other you [TS]

  the beach is off-limits to anyone but [TS]

  seals you know this education center [TS]

  could teach people a lot about the [TS]

  delicate ecosystem of the bay [TS]

  it will be really useful meanwhile if I [TS]

  got a little help here to kind of you [TS]

  know booster this up a little bit we're [TS]

  gonna have kids out here we should [TS]

  probably get some fortifications there's [TS]

  going to be there's a network of tunnels [TS]

  and and i also get the kids here faster [TS]

  you know you know you gotta sign forms [TS]

  and right on buses how am I gonna get [TS]

  the kids out there want to educate them [TS]

  oh well women now i'm looking at a [TS]

  picture of this island it is right next [TS]

  to the San Rafael bridge like people on [TS]

  the San Rafael bridge can look down into [TS]

  your bathroom in your as yet [TS]

  unconstructed house does that change [TS]

  your strategy at all well I think we [TS]

  just we would have to orient all of the [TS]

  sort of green technology the the the the [TS]

  green technology beard would have to [TS]

  orient it so that it was visible from [TS]

  the bridge so that people can as they're [TS]

  driving to work in san rafael or at that [TS]

  prison there [TS]

  yeah they're thinking god that is the [TS]

  type of billionaire maybe you have [TS]

  children with the disease come and make [TS]

  a man dollar in the side where or maybe [TS]

  sometime alter or a mosaic something i [TS]

  don't think we call them diseases [TS]

  anymore i'm not sure [TS]

  Oh sickness tunities yeah like a like a [TS]

  i think they're called abilities now I'm [TS]

  children with it with abilities to get [TS]

  difficult time finding out what kind of [TS]

  fauna you have on the island [TS]

  I'm sure they have sea lions true that I [TS]

  just think I think it's very interesting [TS]

  is a place called Seal Rock right where [TS]

  there's lots of seals every everything [TS]

  I've seen out in the middle of water in [TS]

  san francisco bay as shit tons of the [TS]

  stupid animals on it [TS]

  I don't see any animals on this John I [TS]

  don't even see any birds I think there's [TS]

  something I think there's there's [TS]

  something awful on Red Rock Island I [TS]

  there's something going on there's my [TS]

  buddy Sean Red Rock Island kind of x-men [TS]

  joke the idea you know what do you have [TS]

  to do to get the Red Rock I'll ok here's [TS]

  left and flied out there right now I [TS]

  just something you could do fly down to [TS]

  San Francisco if you figure out how to [TS]

  get to Red Rock Island here's the thing [TS]

  i bet you that there's not many above [TS]

  apart from my friend Scott there's not [TS]

  that many billionaires that would [TS]

  actually today pony up five billion [TS]

  dollars plus closing costs whatever the [TS]

  fuck that means but you don't think we [TS]

  have enough listeners who are software [TS]

  billionaire is that one of them is going [TS]

  to pony up this money you're taking [TS]

  different pressure saying based on our [TS]

  sampling size of our vast vast [TS]

  constituency [TS]

  yeah there's no reason is no fucking [TS]

  reason not to think that one of them has [TS]

  five billion dollars in checking right [TS]

  now they have going over to live with a [TS]

  catch-all where sometimes five million [TS]

  uses one is a piece of paper one [TS]

  cashier's check right now we need one of [TS]

  these people were these people based we [TS]

  want to buy this from this is that we [TS]

  should probably find a little mama JAMA [TS]

  more intelligence is it is still liquid [TS]

  liquids in in Thailand he's a gem dealer [TS]

  but Clemens dealing germs in Thailand is [TS]

  still look man [TS]

  okay i don't know but what this is stuff [TS]

  you're in san francisco and do the [TS]

  answer to our little footwork on this it [TS]

  seems to me [TS]

  here's the other thing John was 20 [TS]

  million i need to just read this one [TS]

  when i'm not talking to you but [TS]

  apparently while somebody bought the [TS]

  island in 1964 44 [TS]

  nine thousand dollars you spend not get [TS]

  some strings you spend on guitar strings [TS]

  in here forty nine thousand dollars [TS]

  that's your bats going to cost that much [TS]

  fucking guy i've spent that much just [TS]

  lighting my cigars with hundred-dollar [TS]

  bills you don't even look sick sorry I [TS]

  just like him and I thrown out the [TS]

  window and your money 5 which is right [TS]

  next to your cigar butts 49,000 dollars [TS]

  come on as I wheatgrass animals that [TS]

  cost more than that's good that's good [TS]