Ep. 50: "Check Your Six"
◼
►
Roderick on the line is unabashedly
[TS]
◼
►
sponsored by a glue software a digital
[TS]
◼
►
workplace that helps you work better
[TS]
◼
►
with other people sign up for a free
[TS]
◼
►
30-day trial and a glue software.com /
[TS]
◼
►
find your doc hello icon
[TS]
◼
►
i'm ron has a gun mmm do good you caught
[TS]
◼
►
me in the middle of a peanut butter
[TS]
◼
►
sandwich did I caught you
[TS]
◼
►
yeah i mean i was sitting here expecting
[TS]
◼
►
your call but I thought in the meantime
[TS]
◼
►
I would have a peanut butter sandwich
[TS]
◼
►
kind of but you get for something like
[TS]
◼
►
that all people are sandwich button they
[TS]
◼
►
were one of those elephants expands my
[TS]
◼
►
oh you you know music is still to get
[TS]
◼
►
thai pretty sweet
[TS]
◼
►
okay um you know years of making music
[TS]
◼
►
records I've learned that I think they
[TS]
◼
►
call the call music music records i
[TS]
◼
►
learned to think of vocals as a kind of
[TS]
◼
►
like a digital graph you know what I
[TS]
◼
►
mean like you you see the you see the
[TS]
◼
►
the the visual of a of the waveform of a
[TS]
◼
►
radical instrument and so my first my
[TS]
◼
►
first thought is is there is there a
[TS]
◼
►
filter we could put on that would just
[TS]
◼
►
take out all the smacking and the food
[TS]
◼
►
sounds that's not so really it's a very
[TS]
◼
►
very good question is certainly
[TS]
◼
►
something that I thought about you know
[TS]
◼
►
as you know as somebody who's made lots
[TS]
◼
►
of music records you know that there are
[TS]
◼
►
various sorts of things I believe they
[TS]
◼
►
call the filters with letters that will
[TS]
◼
►
filter is I think the music filters the
[TS]
◼
►
colors filters that intelligently go out
[TS]
◼
►
and find certain kinds of things you
[TS]
◼
►
know you pick if you get the home you
[TS]
◼
►
can pick one area getting rid of home
[TS]
◼
►
safe take out this this is a list of
[TS]
◼
►
music frequency you get rid of hiss hiss
[TS]
◼
►
exactly what can you get rid of the
[TS]
◼
►
peanut butter and the streetcar meet up
[TS]
◼
►
in the streetcar or the great Aesop's
[TS]
◼
►
fables now won one of the things I need
[TS]
◼
►
to say right before we start our is that
[TS]
◼
►
a yeah last night i was eating I i was
[TS]
◼
►
eating some food
[TS]
◼
►
and-and-and might die broke my tooth off
[TS]
◼
►
like I wasn't gonna I was gonna I was
[TS]
◼
►
gonna write it off the peanut butter and
[TS]
◼
►
then I was gonna ask if you had your we
[TS]
◼
►
had your your the Dodgers all done right
[TS]
◼
►
you said you're done with that
[TS]
◼
►
yeah but now I know I'm missing my tooth
[TS]
◼
►
again that one tooth the one tooth the
[TS]
◼
►
big one no no no the one my achilles
[TS]
◼
►
I'm so sorry John is that must feel
[TS]
◼
►
weird to have that back but my back I
[TS]
◼
►
mean not not their backpack being up
[TS]
◼
►
there it's a it's not that weird that
[TS]
◼
►
he's running my tongue over all the time
[TS]
◼
►
yeah i'm doing that but I did that I did
[TS]
◼
►
that when I had a fake tooth in there
[TS]
◼
►
anyway I'm noticing i'm noticing i don't
[TS]
◼
►
have the plosives power that I normally
[TS]
◼
►
have 1i when I say words that start with
[TS]
◼
►
l like fake tooth you hear hear the it's
[TS]
◼
►
like a lost I lost some of my father
[TS]
◼
►
power right answer for you but we should
[TS]
◼
►
we should do maybe we should try to
[TS]
◼
►
avoid words start with that letter M or
[TS]
◼
►
you know what you're John water your
[TS]
◼
►
fucking John roddick you should drive
[TS]
◼
►
that train right into the right into the
[TS]
◼
►
tunnel we just really hit the ass hard
[TS]
◼
►
right yeah you know what your own God of
[TS]
◼
►
trying to use as many f words we can now
[TS]
◼
►
I I think I i think i've asked you about
[TS]
◼
►
this but it's worth sharing with our
[TS]
◼
►
audience and curious now for those who
[TS]
◼
►
don't know John John you have that
[TS]
◼
►
memory serves it's like a whole like
[TS]
◼
►
diagonal it looks like somebody cut a
[TS]
◼
►
peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwich in half
[TS]
◼
►
diagonally accepted your tooth right
[TS]
◼
►
you've got a whole that kind of half a
[TS]
◼
►
tooth missing right
[TS]
◼
►
no no I have an entire tooth missing in
[TS]
◼
►
fact missing all the way oh that's right
[TS]
◼
►
yeah it look at hobo costume it's it's
[TS]
◼
►
like it's the bits may be the best hobo
[TS]
◼
►
costume the world has ever known in fact
[TS]
◼
►
I've definitely thought about going down
[TS]
◼
►
to hollywood in this state and little
[TS]
◼
►
bit on the nose but hey listen you need
[TS]
◼
►
do you need to cast someone who looks
[TS]
◼
►
like he's not thriving right now haha
[TS]
◼
►
I am that actor yeah I really that's so
[TS]
◼
►
easy for me it's kind of a running joke
[TS]
◼
►
with a lot of my friends that I you know
[TS]
◼
►
which is you know like i have a home and
[TS]
◼
►
I was seriously just come back to this I
[TS]
◼
►
want us to have a starting a lot more
[TS]
◼
►
nuanced letting that term is abused em
[TS]
◼
►
and yeah yeah well i think you're right
[TS]
◼
►
i think know it's a huge a friend's I
[TS]
◼
►
like to come on right that I'm gonna
[TS]
◼
►
capture that here that were going to
[TS]
◼
►
come back to hobos bombs all those let's
[TS]
◼
►
let's shoot for nuance I'm gonna but
[TS]
◼
►
while you're writing a nice that the
[TS]
◼
►
same can go right ahead was hurt doesn't
[TS]
◼
►
hurt does it hurt is exposed nerve or
[TS]
◼
►
don't hurt no there's no truth there now
[TS]
◼
►
to think so just nerve yeah nothing
[TS]
◼
►
their mother hobos bombs homeless and
[TS]
◼
►
Street rats ok I'm now about typical
[TS]
◼
►
street rat is they're gonna leave one of
[TS]
◼
►
their ideas you sure this is a good time
[TS]
◼
►
while you were talking you were you
[TS]
◼
►
running a card so I thought maybe I'd
[TS]
◼
►
have a I another bite of the sandwich
[TS]
◼
►
oh man are you gonna hear it this week
[TS]
◼
►
now you lost that is quite a while ago
[TS]
◼
►
you know they call it a crown is that
[TS]
◼
►
what they call it to put in there what
[TS]
◼
►
they call the thing they put our bridge
[TS]
◼
►
what do you have
[TS]
◼
►
what is it you haven't lost a tooth am I
[TS]
◼
►
am I not told you this whole just bring
[TS]
◼
►
story is the story that I think it is
[TS]
◼
►
that I've been wanting to hear for a
[TS]
◼
►
good it could be yeah well I'd like to
[TS]
◼
►
hear that screaming write that down and
[TS]
◼
►
write down that one story my question to
[TS]
◼
►
you is this and and I i don't know i'm
[TS]
◼
►
sure most of our listeners at this point
[TS]
◼
►
like me like I like myself most opposed
[TS]
◼
►
to our most listeners to like you more
[TS]
◼
►
thank you very much thank you i don't i
[TS]
◼
►
want you to know that and I want you to
[TS]
◼
►
do either way of quantifying that
[TS]
◼
►
something is that just a gut feeling I
[TS]
◼
►
feel like the number of tweets that I
[TS]
◼
►
read that say i love merlin man who is a
[TS]
◼
►
good indicator of how many people out
[TS]
◼
►
there in the world love merlin I think
[TS]
◼
►
we're on a different twitter haha shit
[TS]
◼
►
we should double check i think a lot of
[TS]
◼
►
your fans send me their appreciative
[TS]
◼
►
tweets that is so nice
[TS]
◼
►
only got like we don't want to blow
[TS]
◼
►
Merlin's mind we have no we don't wanna
[TS]
◼
►
bug and we know he's busy but
[TS]
◼
►
once again why don't we send John
[TS]
◼
►
Roderick some nice Merlin beamed a
[TS]
◼
►
bittersweet for you John
[TS]
◼
►
on the one hand yeah you know we're pals
[TS]
◼
►
i like to think and you look out for me
[TS]
◼
►
and my welfare you're happy to see me
[TS]
◼
►
doing well and are probably a little bit
[TS]
◼
►
sad when I'm sad but there must be a
[TS]
◼
►
little bit galling because you probably
[TS]
◼
►
know it's you know you should be having
[TS]
◼
►
to carry my mail so no I might my
[TS]
◼
►
theoretical fan mail you got you you
[TS]
◼
►
should be the one receiving compliments
[TS]
◼
►
you doing is helping people it doesn't
[TS]
◼
►
it doesn't bother me at all in fact that
[TS]
◼
►
calling at all in fact i enjoyed because
[TS]
◼
►
I I'm my inboxes is so crowded with fan
[TS]
◼
►
mail directed to me that's a good point
[TS]
◼
►
it's nice to see fanmail directed to
[TS]
◼
►
someone else every once in a while just
[TS]
◼
►
to just to realize that there are other
[TS]
◼
►
people in the world
[TS]
◼
►
easy you've taken a variable broadview
[TS]
◼
►
to this and i just i'm very grateful for
[TS]
◼
►
that so here's the thing i like me and
[TS]
◼
►
people who love me I think the world has
[TS]
◼
►
finally I i'm gonna guess you never
[TS]
◼
►
expected this i'm going to guess that
[TS]
◼
►
you never expected how many people that
[TS]
◼
►
should have known about your band along
[TS]
◼
►
winners a long time ago
[TS]
◼
►
it's turns out surprising to learn how
[TS]
◼
►
many people had not heard of the band or
[TS]
◼
►
had not associated you with the band or
[TS]
◼
►
that one song they heard in that one
[TS]
◼
►
place and I don't know if you see this
[TS]
◼
►
on the Twitter that i get i see a lot of
[TS]
◼
►
people definitely means interacting with
[TS]
◼
►
people is that is it a lot of people now
[TS]
◼
►
are like they go out there like oh gosh
[TS]
◼
►
John has been helping me and terrifying
[TS]
◼
►
me with his train and now i just went on
[TS]
◼
►
itunes and I bought every long winters
[TS]
◼
►
album and I can't stop listening to them
[TS]
◼
►
so yeah that's lovely
[TS]
◼
►
it is lovely it is lovely and now that
[TS]
◼
►
we're done congratulate yourselves my
[TS]
◼
►
point being I think the people who are
[TS]
◼
►
new to the John Roderick scene they may
[TS]
◼
►
not realize that for a surprisingly long
[TS]
◼
►
time I you look horrifying not know in a
[TS]
◼
►
good way like you had the one that
[TS]
◼
►
picture of you and my daughter that I
[TS]
◼
►
treasurer of the several that i have is
[TS]
◼
►
you really looking like it's something
[TS]
◼
►
like Memphis Yeti em you gotta get
[TS]
◼
►
creepy Elvis glasses you have like when
[TS]
◼
►
I say dishwater blonde I mean maybe like
[TS]
◼
►
hydrogen peroxide and literal dishwater
[TS]
◼
►
to your shoulders is memory serves creek
[TS]
◼
►
and just be clear you got super creepy
[TS]
◼
►
smoky glasses molestie and then you're
[TS]
◼
►
yeah and you know here's the thing you
[TS]
◼
►
rock that look not for a week or a month
[TS]
◼
►
you didn't you didn't go buy some kind
[TS]
◼
►
get the fucking walgreens you write a
[TS]
◼
►
fucking giant ass you you were Santa
[TS]
◼
►
with a missing tooth memory serves
[TS]
◼
►
yeah for several years because I felt I
[TS]
◼
►
felt like here's the thing
[TS]
◼
►
who there are a lot of there are a lot
[TS]
◼
►
of cosmetic improvements that one can
[TS]
◼
►
make to one cell to mask the the inner
[TS]
◼
►
critic esker that the inner inner
[TS]
◼
►
testiness and in my case I i arrived at
[TS]
◼
►
a point where there just was there was
[TS]
◼
►
not enough spackle on the earth to
[TS]
◼
►
smooth out the cracks in me and I just
[TS]
◼
►
thought i would let it roll
[TS]
◼
►
I just like that you know for many many
[TS]
◼
►
years during the grunge years when I was
[TS]
◼
►
when I was a terrible person and and on
[TS]
◼
►
drugs and doing a doing it but like 11
[TS]
◼
►
mm charitable no no I was never on
[TS]
◼
►
charitable but but i but i don't but i
[TS]
◼
►
just was not I was not a living the life
[TS]
◼
►
that you could they that that you could
[TS]
◼
►
see you could she could show to st.
[TS]
◼
►
Peter let's say I was not I was not
[TS]
◼
►
living a lie i was living a life that
[TS]
◼
►
will be able to get forward to that guy
[TS]
◼
►
open up the book and put your glasses
[TS]
◼
►
can make said here we go let's take a
[TS]
◼
►
I was going to I was going to be I was
[TS]
◼
►
gonna bash wall i was gonna be touching
[TS]
◼
►
my toes together and staring at the
[TS]
◼
►
floor is not only that you're gonna
[TS]
◼
►
definitely going to help it was going to
[TS]
◼
►
take a really fucking long time you sit
[TS]
◼
►
there and listen to that they were going
[TS]
◼
►
to talk about a lot of stuff and I was
[TS]
◼
►
oh yeah that got about the yeah yeah
[TS]
◼
►
yeahs no no I mean yes but come on give
[TS]
◼
►
it a nine ease the guy some slack but
[TS]
◼
►
during that entire time i looked like a
[TS]
◼
►
cop you know like I was as I was a
[TS]
◼
►
straight looking as a guy could be i had
[TS]
◼
►
short hair i was i was fresh-faced I had
[TS]
◼
►
you know I blue eyes that they looked
[TS]
◼
►
innocent i mean i would go to i would go
[TS]
◼
►
to situations all the time where I would
[TS]
◼
►
walk in the door and some guide dressed
[TS]
◼
►
all in black sitting behind a table
[TS]
◼
►
covered with drugs would stand up and
[TS]
◼
►
yell at the guy who brought me what you
[TS]
◼
►
your copier man and then have to stand
[TS]
◼
►
there in the doorway while you know
[TS]
◼
►
while everybody jumped out the windows
[TS]
◼
►
and my friend was like no no man i know
[TS]
◼
►
i'm i know he's cool he's cool
[TS]
◼
►
I was like I was the I was the
[TS]
◼
►
undercover cop that everybody can i call
[TS]
◼
►
you mean he's still very filling in as
[TS]
◼
►
your job gotten hotter than fresh
[TS]
◼
►
pumpkin chili tired of kissing the wrong
[TS]
◼
►
bird mired down by your managers fear of
[TS]
◼
►
even the slightest prison in corporate
[TS]
◼
►
well you're not alone igloo software
[TS]
◼
►
understands your pain igloo helps you
[TS]
◼
►
work better with other people by keeping
[TS]
◼
►
your team your files and your
[TS]
◼
►
conversations together in one digital
[TS]
◼
►
you can even work from home and you're
[TS]
◼
►
altogether sealed to your red leather
[TS]
◼
►
chair just steps away from all your
[TS]
◼
►
favorite globes candlesticks and cowboy
[TS]
◼
►
boots as you do so go to glue
[TS]
◼
►
software.com / find your duck and sign
[TS]
◼
►
up for your free 30-day trial bring your
[TS]
◼
►
team in from the cold by getting inside
[TS]
◼
►
the igloo in any case so might be
[TS]
◼
►
diarrhea medicine it might be digitalis
[TS]
◼
►
but you never know it might be a penny
[TS]
◼
►
never know so many many years later when
[TS]
◼
►
all of that behavior came home to roost
[TS]
◼
►
which is to say that the that but the
[TS]
◼
►
decisions I made during my youth when i
[TS]
◼
►
felt that i was going to live forever
[TS]
◼
►
and that nothing could ever hurt me all
[TS]
◼
►
those things were saving up their
[TS]
◼
►
consequences for right about the time I
[TS]
◼
►
turned 40 and basically the day I turned
[TS]
◼
►
40 everything that was in me that was
[TS]
◼
►
held together with with bailing wire and
[TS]
◼
►
toothpaste it all broke it ones
[TS]
◼
►
my tooth fell out and you know my knees
[TS]
◼
►
gave out and my it was it was it was it
[TS]
◼
►
was a catastrophe and now I'm living now
[TS]
◼
►
I'm living in the post consequences
[TS]
◼
►
world where I realized that everything
[TS]
◼
►
you do in your youth just lights the
[TS]
◼
►
fuse all the all the all the scars they
[TS]
◼
►
just they just wait kind of dormant
[TS]
◼
►
until they're there they're just comes
[TS]
◼
►
that one moment where all your
[TS]
◼
►
connective tissue stops working in here
[TS]
◼
►
and you're just a spear of pile of bones
[TS]
◼
►
just 34 years ago
[TS]
◼
►
yeah yeah so so I i knocked out my front
[TS]
◼
►
tooth half a dozen times but it finally
[TS]
◼
►
had no there there there was it finally
[TS]
◼
►
was so corrupted so it had been broken
[TS]
◼
►
so many times that there was nothing
[TS]
◼
►
left to cap and they had to just extract
[TS]
◼
►
this this little bit of a route that was
[TS]
◼
►
left and most people you see who are
[TS]
◼
►
missing a tooth they there
[TS]
◼
►
I tooth is gone because they were using
[TS]
◼
►
it to they were using their tooth to
[TS]
◼
►
check the veracity of a gold coin or
[TS]
◼
►
something but you don't see a lot of
[TS]
◼
►
people whose main front though the
[TS]
◼
►
largest toothed in their in their face
[TS]
◼
►
the most visible one their main front
[TS]
◼
►
tooth is missing that is not a that's
[TS]
◼
►
not a charming missing tooth that's much
[TS]
◼
►
more of a like that you've been drinking
[TS]
◼
►
hairspray kind of missing tooth
[TS]
◼
►
Oh up so everybody ok it's a it's a poor
[TS]
◼
►
yeah that's right that's what that's
[TS]
◼
►
what's so interesting and you think for
[TS]
◼
►
one fucking second you're getting away
[TS]
◼
►
from this unit because this is really
[TS]
◼
►
super interesting but it's this is going
[TS]
◼
►
to sound strange but it's almost
[TS]
◼
►
shockingly medieval in a way a feeling
[TS]
◼
►
of going like oh my gosh there's all
[TS]
◼
►
this shit inside of me and all of this
[TS]
◼
►
fake connective tissue holding me
[TS]
◼
►
together and believing brother I
[TS]
◼
►
understand your arm
[TS]
◼
►
there's all this inside of me but I can
[TS]
◼
►
shave and i can put on a tie or i can do
[TS]
◼
►
whatever i can become the shockingly
[TS]
◼
►
normal-looking person is quivering and
[TS]
◼
►
God yeah but then you lose your fucking
[TS]
◼
►
front tooth and get us a medieval it's
[TS]
◼
►
you know there's almost this idea of you
[TS]
◼
►
know you think about a time even when
[TS]
◼
►
the sixteen hundreds where you would try
[TS]
◼
►
and make a lady flow to see if she was a
[TS]
◼
►
witch or whatever their thirties there's
[TS]
◼
►
this weird Theodoric of York feeling
[TS]
◼
►
about like there was a time when you
[TS]
◼
►
really thought that you could look at
[TS]
◼
►
somebody and tell a lot about their
[TS]
◼
►
morality you know juror phrenology I
[TS]
◼
►
mean for knowledge Asher like they did
[TS]
◼
►
it with a they got the plague and they
[TS]
◼
►
didn't let if somebody was running their
[TS]
◼
►
hands over my head trying to discern my
[TS]
◼
►
character her it would be like running I
[TS]
◼
►
mean running your hands through my hair
[TS]
◼
►
is like running your hands over a model
[TS]
◼
►
I mean there are so many crisscrossing
[TS]
◼
►
scars up on my scalp and and various
[TS]
◼
►
like you know place where I come from
[TS]
◼
►
traumatic injury
[TS]
◼
►
yeah no shit yeah let's talk about the
[TS]
◼
►
time I got I got jumped by three guys
[TS]
◼
►
with ax handles still think you that
[TS]
◼
►
sounds like an Alaska story
[TS]
◼
►
no no that happened in seattle now way
[TS]
◼
►
but you know so when I shave my head but
[TS]
◼
►
I look like you know I like george the
[TS]
◼
►
animal' steele you got that whole puppy
[TS]
◼
►
typography thing going on
[TS]
◼
►
I do and you know other browsers used to
[TS]
◼
►
cut themselves that's why there's this
[TS]
◼
►
card they cut themselves the tiny bit of
[TS]
◼
►
razor blade to get on that plane going
[TS]
◼
►
to get the facebook on your life you do
[TS]
◼
►
not if you cut your eyebrow just a
[TS]
◼
►
little bit you know any head when you
[TS]
◼
►
bleed a live normally doing this with
[TS]
◼
►
residents believe you but the parties
[TS]
◼
►
but you gotta have a distraction before
[TS]
◼
►
you get to the pickles want to talk
[TS]
◼
►
about how much was bleeding you do out
[TS]
◼
►
of a head wind up your guy so you shaved
[TS]
◼
►
no I don't shave my head I don't think
[TS]
◼
►
about the accident ah okay so the axe
[TS]
◼
►
but the accident you were jumped in when
[TS]
◼
►
I hear the word jump
[TS]
◼
►
I think of you were surprisingly
[TS]
◼
►
attacked by three guys at one time and
[TS]
◼
►
it's completely unfair fight
[TS]
◼
►
yeah that's that's kind of a description
[TS]
◼
►
of what happened I was I was I was
[TS]
◼
►
heavily intoxicated and but I was
[TS]
◼
►
intoxicated on a cocktail of intoxicants
[TS]
◼
►
very lucid while also being very
[TS]
◼
►
intoxicated yet at that bar and and I
[TS]
◼
►
was on the street and these guys these
[TS]
◼
►
guys were I i think this was during the
[TS]
◼
►
era of gay bashing
[TS]
◼
►
uh-huh but this was a this was a thing
[TS]
◼
►
that that people from the sticks would
[TS]
◼
►
come into town and gay bash and so I
[TS]
◼
►
don't know why these guys were so
[TS]
◼
►
heavily armed but I was in all honesty I
[TS]
◼
►
was standing on the street with a
[TS]
◼
►
lighter lighting posters on a phone pole
[TS]
◼
►
on fire and watching the posters bird
[TS]
◼
►
and I wasn't are you enjoying a
[TS]
◼
►
hallucinogen out you know that I'll get
[TS]
◼
►
you I'll get to the bucket to that size
[TS]
◼
►
but first first post attorney so i'm
[TS]
◼
►
watching I'm just standing on this on
[TS]
◼
►
this on the street watching a bit
[TS]
◼
►
lighting posters on this phone poll on
[TS]
◼
►
fire and and a couple of cops pull up
[TS]
◼
►
and they say hey knock that off and and
[TS]
◼
►
I was like oh yeah man hey hey
[TS]
◼
►
why why why do pigs have to like step on
[TS]
◼
►
my scene or whatever it is the least
[TS]
◼
►
however we talked back then and the cops
[TS]
◼
►
are like listen if you don't knock it
[TS]
◼
►
off and then was it was a busy friday
[TS]
◼
►
night they're like we got shit to do
[TS]
◼
►
that you your your small potatoes but if
[TS]
◼
►
you don't knock it off we're going to
[TS]
◼
►
get out of the car and we're gonna we're
[TS]
◼
►
gonna like I put handcuffs on you and I
[TS]
◼
►
was like those sorry sorry I'm burning
[TS]
◼
►
your phone pole cop and so I I've
[TS]
◼
►
momentarily stopped in the cops drove
[TS]
◼
►
away and then I immediately liked
[TS]
◼
►
started doing this again i don't know
[TS]
◼
►
why i was i was i was 22 years old
[TS]
◼
►
there's no excuse for standing on the
[TS]
◼
►
street corner this is the kind of petty
[TS]
◼
►
a delinquency that a thirteen-year-old
[TS]
◼
►
should have grown out of but here i am
[TS]
◼
►
and i'm i'm on a variety of intoxicants
[TS]
◼
►
and I'm I'm lighting
[TS]
◼
►
the phone poll on fire because it was
[TS]
◼
►
fascinating to me
[TS]
◼
►
suffice to say so anyway I stand out
[TS]
◼
►
there i am doing it a little bit longer
[TS]
◼
►
and all of a sudden there's these three
[TS]
◼
►
guys and they have their bats and
[TS]
◼
►
they're like what are you doing man and
[TS]
◼
►
I turn around I engage them in
[TS]
◼
►
conversation like I'm just like in this
[TS]
◼
►
phone poll on fire and they're like will
[TS]
◼
►
fucking knock it off and that was a
[TS]
◼
►
challenge that I felt I really needed
[TS]
◼
►
just really needed to stand my ground
[TS]
◼
►
because this was important work I was
[TS]
◼
►
doing and who are these three guys to
[TS]
◼
►
tell me to knock anything off so I was
[TS]
◼
►
like you know why don't you knock off
[TS]
◼
►
telling people what to do and I i
[TS]
◼
►
noticed that they have bats I mean I am
[TS]
◼
►
I'm acutely aware but I all but I also
[TS]
◼
►
feel like I'm in command of the
[TS]
◼
►
situation and they kind of circle around
[TS]
◼
►
me you know in a triangular-shaped
[TS]
◼
►
grouping and i'm in the center of it and
[TS]
◼
►
I'm i feel like i have this matter quite
[TS]
◼
►
in hand and I start to lecture them on
[TS]
◼
►
how cities work and how phone poles are
[TS]
◼
►
coated with creosote and so are
[TS]
◼
►
inherently not flammable and at a
[TS]
◼
►
certain point they are no longer
[TS]
◼
►
interested and one of the guys that it
[TS]
◼
►
has circled around while you're there
[TS]
◼
►
just arguing argumentative Lee arguing
[TS]
◼
►
with me because they already know what
[TS]
◼
►
they're going to do and this was before
[TS]
◼
►
I you this was before I had learned to
[TS]
◼
►
protect my six and somebody gotta get
[TS]
◼
►
around behind me and just took a massive
[TS]
◼
►
swing like he was swinging for the
[TS]
◼
►
outfield and hit me on the back of the
[TS]
◼
►
head with a but the what turned out
[TS]
◼
►
later be accidental
[TS]
◼
►
God and then once i was down all three
[TS]
◼
►
of them just stood over me and just just
[TS]
◼
►
pounded on me like they were tenderizing
[TS]
◼
►
them side of beef and at this point i
[TS]
◼
►
was aware that i was in trouble so I was
[TS]
◼
►
yelling and I was crawling to try and
[TS]
◼
►
get under a car and they were just going
[TS]
◼
►
to town on me and they broke both my
[TS]
◼
►
Wow and they I mean often cop from top
[TS]
◼
►
to bottom I was just I was just a black
[TS]
◼
►
black and blue but but mostly black
[TS]
◼
►
I crawled under this car and some girl
[TS]
◼
►
up the street started screaming and
[TS]
◼
►
eventually somebody nearby scream loud
[TS]
◼
►
enough that these guys can it took one
[TS]
◼
►
last walk each and ran off into the dark
[TS]
◼
►
and so then the cops came back the cops
[TS]
◼
►
who had yelled at me 10 minutes before i
[TS]
◼
►
came back and the aid car came and I was
[TS]
◼
►
kid I was laying there convinced that i
[TS]
◼
►
was holding the holding the back of my
[TS]
◼
►
skull on I haven't got my hands up and I
[TS]
◼
►
was like you know I can't move my hands
[TS]
◼
►
and the aid car guys were like you know
[TS]
◼
►
you got a movie and we got to see what
[TS]
◼
►
was going on I was like no I can't
[TS]
◼
►
because if I do the back my it's going
[TS]
◼
►
to fall off and make it card guys you
[TS]
◼
►
know they were all shining lights in my
[TS]
◼
►
face and they were like are you on any
[TS]
◼
►
kind of drugs i was like no I just had a
[TS]
◼
►
beer and you know they're looking at my
[TS]
◼
►
pupils they're like mmm
[TS]
◼
►
now we need to you need to tell us like
[TS]
◼
►
what you're what drugs you're on and I'm
[TS]
◼
►
like no I just have just had a beer but
[TS]
◼
►
I can't move my hand because my my my
[TS]
◼
►
head is is going to you know fall off or
[TS]
◼
►
fall apart so they take me to the
[TS]
◼
►
hospital and the doctor in the emergency
[TS]
◼
►
room again kinda says listen we need to
[TS]
◼
►
know what your on your ear obviously
[TS]
◼
►
like on some drugs and we need to know
[TS]
◼
►
what they are because we can't treat you
[TS]
◼
►
you can't give you more drugs unless we
[TS]
◼
►
know what drugs you're on we can't treat
[TS]
◼
►
you unless we know what's going on and I
[TS]
◼
►
had it in my head that if you told the
[TS]
◼
►
doctor that you had taken some drugs
[TS]
◼
►
that that would somehow I still like
[TS]
◼
►
still added in my mind that my permanent
[TS]
◼
►
record was something i need to be
[TS]
◼
►
worried about you know like that i was
[TS]
◼
►
going to that this was going to go down
[TS]
◼
►
on my permanent record and I wasn't
[TS]
◼
►
going to get into graduate schools i
[TS]
◼
►
don't know what i thought my permanent
[TS]
◼
►
record was but I had I had grown up
[TS]
◼
►
being told that your transcript was this
[TS]
◼
►
thing you need to worry about so much
[TS]
◼
►
and I didn't want to tell some doctor in
[TS]
◼
►
the emergency room
[TS]
◼
►
what drugs that was on because he was
[TS]
◼
►
going to write it down on a piece of
[TS]
◼
►
paper and then it was then the then I
[TS]
◼
►
love the CIA was never going to let me
[TS]
◼
►
be the president of the united states
[TS]
◼
►
and so I kept insisting that no I'd only
[TS]
◼
►
had a couple of beers and so the doctor
[TS]
◼
►
goes okay you know what kid that's fine
[TS]
◼
►
and he turns to the nurse next to him
[TS]
◼
►
and he said don't get many anesthesia
[TS]
◼
►
and so they proceeded to sew up my head
[TS]
◼
►
and my hands which were you know they
[TS]
◼
►
were they were broken but they were also
[TS]
◼
►
like I i think i showed you a scar on my
[TS]
◼
►
finger one time where one of that one of
[TS]
◼
►
the bats hit my finger as it was trying
[TS]
◼
►
to protect my head and the finger meats
[TS]
◼
►
like squirted out the other side so they
[TS]
◼
►
had to push all that finger me back
[TS]
◼
►
inside and sew it up and they they just
[TS]
◼
►
did it they did it all without even
[TS]
◼
►
giving me a topical anesthesia so I was
[TS]
◼
►
thinking they're being sewed like a like
[TS]
◼
►
a like a rag doll like three different
[TS]
◼
►
people running thread through me a time
[TS]
◼
►
and then they rolled me out on a
[TS]
◼
►
blood-soaked gurney into the hallway of
[TS]
◼
►
Harborview emergency room was its harbor
[TS]
◼
►
view is like the the one level for
[TS]
◼
►
trauma center in the northwest but it's
[TS]
◼
►
hospitals where you will roll down to a
[TS]
◼
►
halt and they'll be just kind of one
[TS]
◼
►
lightbulb flickering above you like
[TS]
◼
►
flickering and sometimes it goes out and
[TS]
◼
►
then the power comes back on and the and
[TS]
◼
►
the hallways are just on friday and
[TS]
◼
►
they're just full of people like
[TS]
◼
►
motorcycle wreck gunshot wound
[TS]
◼
►
motorcycle wreck gunshot wound and so
[TS]
◼
►
they roll me out into this hallway and
[TS]
◼
►
they just let me sit there as the as the
[TS]
◼
►
blood on my gurney coagulates while
[TS]
◼
►
while people who are really in trouble
[TS]
◼
►
are wheeled past me screaming and I was
[TS]
◼
►
on hallucinogens among other things and
[TS]
◼
►
so it wasn't your trippin while they
[TS]
◼
►
were selling up your head without
[TS]
◼
►
yeah there was a really it was a hell of
[TS]
◼
►
um I really like it
[TS]
◼
►
I learned a lot that night about about
[TS]
◼
►
everything about everything
[TS]
◼
►
certainly about mortality ok but a but
[TS]
◼
►
yeah so that was that that was
[TS]
◼
►
definitely that was definitely when I
[TS]
◼
►
started checking my six if you notice i
[TS]
◼
►
mean checking your sixes like it's
[TS]
◼
►
fighter pilot terminology that means
[TS]
◼
►
look behind you like a twelve o'clock is
[TS]
◼
►
straight ahead and sixes visit hundred
[TS]
◼
►
eighty degrees behind you right
[TS]
◼
►
check your six so yeah my check my six
[TS]
◼
►
now and so should you
[TS]
◼
►
Merlin was thinking about it and
[TS]
◼
►
thinking about my sex right now it
[TS]
◼
►
should yeah right about that I tried to
[TS]
◼
►
think too much about my sex better
[TS]
◼
►
that's probably a a terrific reason to
[TS]
◼
►
check it yeah well you don't want to you
[TS]
◼
►
don't want to get to a to a position
[TS]
◼
►
where you're here now forced to check
[TS]
◼
►
your six together double-dog CWI's kind
[TS]
◼
►
of six the devil dogs are on your six
[TS]
◼
►
and until you're checking your sex
[TS]
◼
►
because you know that they're okay and
[TS]
◼
►
then they are mice they aren't my six
[TS]
◼
►
per se it's a notional concept right
[TS]
◼
►
there hanging hanging by the six there
[TS]
◼
►
on your six yeah yeah
[TS]
◼
►
and so when you're when you're looking
[TS]
◼
►
over your shoulder I mean that's why
[TS]
◼
►
when I sit in a restaurant when I go
[TS]
◼
►
into a restaurant I always liked pick my
[TS]
◼
►
rather judiciously who did you get the
[TS]
◼
►
only time Malcolm X this is the only
[TS]
◼
►
city where you can see the door
[TS]
◼
►
that's right you want to see where you
[TS]
◼
►
can see the door but also sit where like
[TS]
◼
►
you're not going to get it nobody's
[TS]
◼
►
going to surprise you on your six
[TS]
◼
►
uh-huh I mean you're there can be people
[TS]
◼
►
behind me I just wanna I just wanna know
[TS]
◼
►
who they are just like the bulleted the
[TS]
◼
►
booth is nice i like take a bank at
[TS]
◼
►
every chair challenge that said that's
[TS]
◼
►
that's terrific and i'm not even that's
[TS]
◼
►
not even how I lost my to my tooth yeah
[TS]
◼
►
but it's still still got a couple more
[TS]
◼
►
trips before thanks
[TS]
◼
►
settle down until until about what point
[TS]
◼
►
where things like that happening about
[TS]
◼
►
what era year uh 1994 was the last time
[TS]
◼
►
I was going but I was about to say 1994
[TS]
◼
►
was the last time i went to jail but
[TS]
◼
►
there were a couple of there were couple
[TS]
◼
►
of things that hung out a couple of
[TS]
◼
►
couple of bench warrants that were still
[TS]
◼
►
periodically active into 1995 so so so I
[TS]
◼
►
so I went to jail I went to jail on
[TS]
◼
►
things that happened before 1994 a
[TS]
◼
►
couple of times when I like because it
[TS]
◼
►
took me it took me a year to get it took
[TS]
◼
►
me a couple years to get a fully
[TS]
◼
►
functioning set of credentials like your
[TS]
◼
►
normal ID and stuff that would end to
[TS]
◼
►
have all that stuff cleared so that
[TS]
◼
►
every time I got stopped by a cop he
[TS]
◼
►
oh hello and pulled me out of the car
[TS]
◼
►
and take me downtown
[TS]
◼
►
there was one time they they actually
[TS]
◼
►
pulled one of those they pulled one of
[TS]
◼
►
those this is the this is the thing that
[TS]
◼
►
they're doing in cities now where they
[TS]
◼
►
said that he send letters out to
[TS]
◼
►
everybody that has an outstanding
[TS]
◼
►
it's like you want a thousand dollars
[TS]
◼
►
that that's from the simpsons that's not
[TS]
◼
►
no really happy and kind of take out
[TS]
◼
►
your free ballot this area and then
[TS]
◼
►
everybody comes down there like you're
[TS]
◼
►
arrested you're arrested your that's did
[TS]
◼
►
like it they totally actually totally do
[TS]
◼
►
that and may they they got me it was a
[TS]
◼
►
legitimate it wasn't a scam it was a
[TS]
◼
►
legitimate thing where I went into the
[TS]
◼
►
to the comptroller's office trying to
[TS]
◼
►
get four hundred dollars that somebody
[TS]
◼
►
had one time a guy we were i was driving
[TS]
◼
►
a car with a guy one time over in
[TS]
◼
►
bellevue and he was an african-american
[TS]
◼
►
gentleman and we see and i would have
[TS]
◼
►
gone over there to go to the movies
[TS]
◼
►
because they had a good movie theater
[TS]
◼
►
and we were driving back through you
[TS]
◼
►
know at night through bellevue and we
[TS]
◼
►
got pulled over and we weren't doing
[TS]
◼
►
it was a case where the my friend was
[TS]
◼
►
convinced as it was happening that it
[TS]
◼
►
was a case of them pulling us over
[TS]
◼
►
because he was black and I was white and
[TS]
◼
►
we were driving in a car right now I
[TS]
◼
►
can't be up there obviously up to no
[TS]
◼
►
something something isn't right
[TS]
◼
►
something's not Dutch with this so the
[TS]
◼
►
bellevue cops pulled us over and I was
[TS]
◼
►
like what that's crazy and he's like no
[TS]
◼
►
I swear that's what's happening right
[TS]
◼
►
now like oh my god
[TS]
◼
►
and so the cop comes over and he's he's
[TS]
◼
►
very condescending to the driver my
[TS]
◼
►
friend but everything checks out and
[TS]
◼
►
then the cop asks for my ID at which
[TS]
◼
►
point he finds that there's a warrant
[TS]
◼
►
for my arrest and so he varies very
[TS]
◼
►
happy about this because to the
[TS]
◼
►
policeman it seems like a very ironic
[TS]
◼
►
situation but the white guy is going to
[TS]
◼
►
be the one that he's going to have to
[TS]
◼
►
arrest and he's he's indicating this to
[TS]
◼
►
us like he's he thinks this is hilarious
[TS]
◼
►
i look at this is a little bit racist oh
[TS]
◼
►
Henry moment yeah exactly like this
[TS]
◼
►
that's the one kid that i'm going to
[TS]
◼
►
arrest what do you know and you know and
[TS]
◼
►
we're both like new
[TS]
◼
►
that's that's hilarious the Conte and I
[TS]
◼
►
and I'm and and I'm I'm glad that I get
[TS]
◼
►
to go to jail tonight to make two you
[TS]
◼
►
know to make this a story that you're
[TS]
◼
►
going to tell this weekend at the bar
[TS]
◼
►
and so I go to jail and my friend his
[TS]
◼
►
name was Howard I said to him as they're
[TS]
◼
►
putting as the cops put him in his car I
[TS]
◼
►
say yeah here's my ATM card
[TS]
◼
►
go get the bail money which is four
[TS]
◼
►
and so Howard goes and gets the bail
[TS]
◼
►
money but of course Howard and not
[TS]
◼
►
having been through this before
[TS]
◼
►
bails me out under his name rather than
[TS]
◼
►
because it was my money bailing me out
[TS]
◼
►
under under my name where or stimulating
[TS]
◼
►
the best so he's the one responsible for
[TS]
◼
►
the recognizance or the well I mean this
[TS]
◼
►
isn't his so bail is a certain amount of
[TS]
◼
►
money in as an insurance that you will
[TS]
◼
►
show up for court is the idea right
[TS]
◼
►
right and no he's not responsible for me
[TS]
◼
►
but if but they assume if he put 400
[TS]
◼
►
bucks up it's his money he's going to
[TS]
◼
►
make himself responsible in this case it
[TS]
◼
►
was my money I showed up for my court
[TS]
◼
►
date and so now I wanted my bail
[TS]
◼
►
refunded and they said oh that's not
[TS]
◼
►
your bail that towered that's Howard's
[TS]
◼
►
money and only howard can come get the
[TS]
◼
►
well suffice to say how it was kind of a
[TS]
◼
►
preppy guy and this experience of me
[TS]
◼
►
getting arrested in his car kind of
[TS]
◼
►
soured hour but not nuts our friendship
[TS]
◼
►
but it soured his interest in going with
[TS]
◼
►
police stations or city courts or
[TS]
◼
►
anything like that and so Howard kept
[TS]
◼
►
dodging my phone call and you know and
[TS]
◼
►
like oh yeah totally i'll help you that
[TS]
◼
►
many would then add many disappear and I
[TS]
◼
►
wouldn't hear from howard for a long
[TS]
◼
►
time the missiles at a time when $400
[TS]
◼
►
met quite a bit meant a lot to me anyway
[TS]
◼
►
I went down to the court one time to
[TS]
◼
►
explain to them at great length that was
[TS]
◼
►
my money not Howard's they were they
[TS]
◼
►
were not interested in my story and also
[TS]
◼
►
while i was there they discovered
[TS]
◼
►
another war by God but the woman behind
[TS]
◼
►
the counter who discovered this did not
[TS]
◼
►
she was not empowered to arrest me she
[TS]
◼
►
can't hit a button in some martial comes
[TS]
◼
►
out or something so what she did she
[TS]
◼
►
said oh here's what you need to do you
[TS]
◼
►
need to go across the street
[TS]
◼
►
two and Tamia card with an address on it
[TS]
◼
►
she said you need to go across the
[TS]
◼
►
street to this place and they'll refund
[TS]
◼
►
your money and i was like wow awesome i
[TS]
◼
►
like it finally worked i i i finally I
[TS]
◼
►
finally met someone at the at the police
[TS]
◼
►
department who understands and who cares
[TS]
◼
►
about me and I was gonna fill out a
[TS]
◼
►
comment card on that now I thanked her
[TS]
◼
►
profusely I was like ma'am thank you for
[TS]
◼
►
resolving this issue
[TS]
◼
►
this has been an albatross has been
[TS]
◼
►
hanging over my head for for many months
[TS]
◼
►
i really appreciate your help and she
[TS]
◼
►
was like my pleasure and I will i took
[TS]
◼
►
the card I walked out of the door the
[TS]
◼
►
courthouse i walked up the street two
[TS]
◼
►
blocks across the street to a storefront
[TS]
◼
►
that was like kind of a had frosted
[TS]
◼
►
glass windows and I was like go
[TS]
◼
►
this must be the city accountants office
[TS]
◼
►
or something and I walked in the door
[TS]
◼
►
and it's like the set of barney miller
[TS]
◼
►
know there are there is a room with
[TS]
◼
►
desks and a bunch of guys with pistols
[TS]
◼
►
and and like shoulder holsters with
[TS]
◼
►
their jackets off sitting on the desks
[TS]
◼
►
drinking coffee smoking cigarettes and
[TS]
◼
►
chatting with the extension casting it
[TS]
◼
►
really was and I walked in the door and
[TS]
◼
►
I was like oh and may have everybody in
[TS]
◼
►
the room turns and looks at me and goes
[TS]
◼
►
hey come on in buddy how's it going to
[TS]
◼
►
see you like this is not the first time
[TS]
◼
►
that somebody's somebody was a young man
[TS]
◼
►
obviously not knowing what he's there
[TS]
◼
►
and this is this has happened before
[TS]
◼
►
Janice's done this before
[TS]
◼
►
yeah every single person that walks in
[TS]
◼
►
that door is a is about to be arrested
[TS]
◼
►
and they didn't know it
[TS]
◼
►
this is the this is the gag and I'm sure
[TS]
◼
►
these guys all the time have to have to
[TS]
◼
►
sprint down the street after somebody
[TS]
◼
►
returns around the doorway and runs and
[TS]
◼
►
then I said then they sit down in a
[TS]
◼
►
chair I'm like oh man god what a writ
[TS]
◼
►
water rep and they're like good to see
[TS]
◼
►
you hey we got a computer printout here
[TS]
◼
►
that says bloody bloody blah so anyway
[TS]
◼
►
that's it was a it was a real was a real
[TS]
◼
►
prank you ever get your money back
[TS]
◼
►
it's one of those things where I Howard
[TS]
◼
►
is going to get a letter someday the 15
[TS]
◼
►
years from now that says we have
[TS]
◼
►
undiscovered moneys for you and he's
[TS]
◼
►
gonna be like what could this possibly
[TS]
◼
►
be and he's not gonna remember and I
[TS]
◼
►
have not spoken to her in years that
[TS]
◼
►
four hundred dollars just that's i have
[TS]
◼
►
just decided that that is four hundred
[TS]
◼
►
dollars i'm never i'm not going to
[TS]
◼
►
pursue I just wanted to go out into the
[TS]
◼
►
world and pay for some pay retribution
[TS]
◼
►
in some way for some crime I committed
[TS]
◼
►
against the city the people of the city
[TS]
◼
►
yeah like Ben Franklin says you know
[TS]
◼
►
it's a child every day if it that you
[TS]
◼
►
don't know what it's for they will I'm
[TS]
◼
►
sure you can find a good use for this
[TS]
◼
►
country you could recreate so this this
[TS]
◼
►
phone call if nothing else it's to pay
[TS]
◼
►
for all the parking meters that I didn't
[TS]
◼
►
put quarters in when I just ran into a
[TS]
◼
►
drugstore whatever he's down he's got
[TS]
◼
►
some interesting threads to this um I
[TS]
◼
►
hope it's interesting i think it's super
[TS]
◼
►
interesting people are gonna be
[TS]
◼
►
terrified by this but the you know that
[TS]
◼
►
thing of you you talking about your
[TS]
◼
►
morning on your permanent record which I
[TS]
◼
►
by on one level but there's also just a
[TS]
◼
►
sense of like you know not the invasion
[TS]
◼
►
is the wrong word but there's the sense
[TS]
◼
►
of like I'm running and I'm still
[TS]
◼
►
running and like well of course I'm not
[TS]
◼
►
gonna tell them i'm trippin like I'm not
[TS]
◼
►
fucking stupid i may be high but I'm not
[TS]
◼
►
high you know about that but the
[TS]
◼
►
permanent record thing has had a had a
[TS]
◼
►
more profound effect on me then then
[TS]
◼
►
that might be obvious really close to
[TS]
◼
►
say though is like a cubic we do the
[TS]
◼
►
same thing as the four hundred dollars
[TS]
◼
►
there's times when a roll of quarters
[TS]
◼
►
makes all the difference i mean big time
[TS]
◼
►
you know i mean its end and so I mean
[TS]
◼
►
but there's this this ongoing threat of
[TS]
◼
►
like again you're your body's like all
[TS]
◼
►
mostly held together you're walking
[TS]
◼
►
around you're kind of keeping it
[TS]
◼
►
together on some level you're not like
[TS]
◼
►
you know change in a dungeon somewhere
[TS]
◼
►
but like yeah you're out and about but
[TS]
◼
►
at the same time like you're on the edge
[TS]
◼
►
and you're going to be always looking
[TS]
◼
►
for that tiny little adjustment he keeps
[TS]
◼
►
you free and moving and you know drunk
[TS]
◼
►
or whatever right over the thing that's
[TS]
◼
►
going to the other way and that's
[TS]
◼
►
absolutely true but because i have it
[TS]
◼
►
there was a simultaneous narrative going
[TS]
◼
►
the whole life that was instilled by my
[TS]
◼
►
my my my father primarily because my dad
[TS]
◼
►
was a politician my uncle was a
[TS]
◼
►
politician my great-uncle was a
[TS]
◼
►
politician my great uncle who raised my
[TS]
◼
►
dad they were all politicians and their
[TS]
◼
►
ambition for me was to also be a
[TS]
◼
►
politician and two and i think to be
[TS]
◼
►
finally up like a politician on a
[TS]
◼
►
national scale like these guys were all
[TS]
◼
►
local politicians in the northwest and
[TS]
◼
►
they were in the back rooms smoking
[TS]
◼
►
cigars and handshakes and making the
[TS]
◼
►
making the port run and you know in
[TS]
◼
►
trading suits and tires with each other
[TS]
◼
►
but they have had ambition for me that I
[TS]
◼
►
would go on to national office and that
[TS]
◼
►
that would somehow validate our
[TS]
◼
►
political dynasty
[TS]
◼
►
oh you're like the not jack not Ted here
[TS]
◼
►
like the the good candidate you're like
[TS]
◼
►
the community that Joe just he died in
[TS]
◼
►
the war I got a job in the world Joe is
[TS]
◼
►
like the chosen one he was the one that
[TS]
◼
►
that I was gonna be big
[TS]
◼
►
he was anointed and Joe died in a
[TS]
◼
►
you told me about this what they fucked
[TS]
◼
►
him over with his aircraft right now I
[TS]
◼
►
don't think they fucking motor was
[TS]
◼
►
getting into it was one of those like we
[TS]
◼
►
don't know what happened but he was in a
[TS]
◼
►
he was in a bar right loaded with
[TS]
◼
►
explosives that his job was to fly it
[TS]
◼
►
over and and like bail out of it and
[TS]
◼
►
after he pointed it at 0 and a 1 a damn
[TS]
◼
►
i don't i don't remember what it what is
[TS]
◼
►
what this bucket i think was a damn he
[TS]
◼
►
was using this in Europe it was in
[TS]
◼
►
yeah he was flying a bomber loaded with
[TS]
◼
►
explosives and he armed the bombs he
[TS]
◼
►
armed explosives after he was over the
[TS]
◼
►
English Channel and either set either
[TS]
◼
►
slipped on a banana peel and pushed the
[TS]
◼
►
wrong button or somebody in one of the I
[TS]
◼
►
think he was here there was a chase
[TS]
◼
►
plane that was supposed to after he Bob
[TS]
◼
►
after he dived out the chase point was
[TS]
◼
►
supposed to follow the bomber down and I
[TS]
◼
►
whatever maybe there's a short in the
[TS]
◼
►
electrical system but the thing blew up
[TS]
◼
►
into a million billion trillion pieces
[TS]
◼
►
what a failure on so many levels yeah
[TS]
◼
►
you said you touch my chicken shit thing
[TS]
◼
►
to do but then it's also i mean i don't
[TS]
◼
►
know who might say I'm not in the
[TS]
◼
►
service but like then it's also like
[TS]
◼
►
that what a waste of a dude and like
[TS]
◼
►
what a what a what a waste of a plane to
[TS]
◼
►
yeah i mean you can put those bombs to
[TS]
◼
►
good use i mean that is that is in on
[TS]
◼
►
civilians it is a strategic target to
[TS]
◼
►
hit a damn i guess
[TS]
◼
►
oh yeah big deal it's a getting a damn
[TS]
◼
►
is a big deal and war because it's all
[TS]
◼
►
it's all that electricity electricity
[TS]
◼
►
and plans you know but Anna and and if
[TS]
◼
►
he's in the dad will send a big tidal
[TS]
◼
►
wave down the valley that can and
[TS]
◼
►
particularly if you believe the plot of
[TS]
◼
►
force 10 from navarone that's what
[TS]
◼
►
Harrison Ford right yeah let's get any
[TS]
◼
►
the water from the dam can knock out the
[TS]
◼
►
bridge where the Germans are coming
[TS]
◼
►
across to attack the partisan see now
[TS]
◼
►
that you get a twofer a twofer
[TS]
◼
►
okay so you were Joe you're going to be
[TS]
◼
►
talking there's different just senior
[TS]
◼
►
and you told me you were going to be
[TS]
◼
►
judging i was gonna be Joe Jr and so
[TS]
◼
►
anyway even at the even at the point
[TS]
◼
►
when I was living very much in a kind of
[TS]
◼
►
hand to mouth or like hand to drugs to
[TS]
◼
►
mouth way there was always a narrative
[TS]
◼
►
in the back of my head that I needed to
[TS]
◼
►
protect my reputation because i needed
[TS]
◼
►
to be able to because when they
[TS]
◼
►
investigated me for top secret clearance
[TS]
◼
►
right I needed to be able to pass up
[TS]
◼
►
because i was one day going to be a
[TS]
◼
►
united states senator and these two and
[TS]
◼
►
these two totally incompatible
[TS]
◼
►
narratives the one where I was like a
[TS]
◼
►
scrounging in the carpet for invisible
[TS]
◼
►
crack rocks that i might have that
[TS]
◼
►
matter dropped and ended up you know
[TS]
◼
►
smoking somebody's dog dander because i
[TS]
◼
►
was sure that it was some kind of drugs
[TS]
◼
►
that had fallen in the carpet that
[TS]
◼
►
narrative simultaneous with this but I
[TS]
◼
►
can't let anybody know because i'm going
[TS]
◼
►
to be a united states senator one day it
[TS]
◼
►
there there's a there's still a version
[TS]
◼
►
of it in me now and I and I know
[TS]
◼
►
I think about this sometimes that I'm on
[TS]
◼
►
record now and the problem would not be
[TS]
◼
►
that I'm now on record admitting to
[TS]
◼
►
having done a a a cornucopia of drugs
[TS]
◼
►
literally a horn of plenty of drugs
[TS]
◼
►
thanksgiving decoration full of drugs
[TS]
◼
►
some of which people have never even
[TS]
◼
►
heard of full of games and many pumpkins
[TS]
◼
►
and handbags and I just week and you
[TS]
◼
►
know I did I did every kind of squeak
[TS]
◼
►
well now i'm looking up later fuck yeah
[TS]
◼
►
I told you but anyway it's not it's not
[TS]
◼
►
as the Cornucopia itself is not the
[TS]
◼
►
problem in the admission of cornucopia
[TS]
◼
►
well but even if but but that isn't even
[TS]
◼
►
the primary problem the primary problem
[TS]
◼
►
for me being elected to the United
[TS]
◼
►
States Senate is that i have yet but I
[TS]
◼
►
have gone on record a thousand times
[TS]
◼
►
saying a seattle is a dumpy little
[TS]
◼
►
shithole and and you have people who
[TS]
◼
►
believe in God are dumbasses and you
[TS]
◼
►
know that everybody that doesn't know
[TS]
◼
►
how to drive in snow should be taking a
[TS]
◼
►
late line up against a wall and shot etc
[TS]
◼
►
etc so that it's storming the embassy if
[TS]
◼
►
there are numerous there are numerous
[TS]
◼
►
numerous closets with numerous bones
[TS]
◼
►
yeah if there is an opposition
[TS]
◼
►
researcher was was given the task of
[TS]
◼
►
educating not leave any I'm just imagine
[TS]
◼
►
the process of vetting you like whether
[TS]
◼
►
the guys in the back room with the
[TS]
◼
►
cigars i got like as John Martin
[TS]
◼
►
Roderick I think it'd be a fella that's
[TS]
◼
►
right and just runs the basic checks
[TS]
◼
►
Ollie said fucking cornucopia an
[TS]
◼
►
opposition researcher would be rolling
[TS]
◼
►
on the floor laughing within 30 seconds
[TS]
◼
►
of trying to dig up some dirt on me
[TS]
◼
►
because how am I going to run for how I
[TS]
◼
►
can run for office in seattle out having
[TS]
◼
►
said all the things that I've said we're
[TS]
◼
►
just pointing out all the ways that you
[TS]
◼
►
can help it you know it's like my mom
[TS]
◼
►
would say when I got a c-minus he knows
[TS]
◼
►
room for opportunity to improve well and
[TS]
◼
►
it's what i would do at what what I've
[TS]
◼
►
always imagined is what Bill Clinton
[TS]
◼
►
should have done when they asked him
[TS]
◼
►
whether or not he'd slept with Monica
[TS]
◼
►
you know I i never understood why he
[TS]
◼
►
didn't look at wedding face down the
[TS]
◼
►
cameras and say that's not a none of
[TS]
◼
►
anybody's business next question instead
[TS]
◼
►
instead of instead of falling back on
[TS]
◼
►
parsing words it's very hemming and
[TS]
◼
►
hawing and saying like well you know
[TS]
◼
►
about Peppa to depict I like that
[TS]
◼
►
they're there is there will come a time
[TS]
◼
►
and we've already seen it was wet with
[TS]
◼
►
the Barack Obama's admission not only
[TS]
◼
►
having smoked marijuana but have done
[TS]
◼
►
cocaine and he you know he admitted to
[TS]
◼
►
it in his book and then he said I had
[TS]
◼
►
it's a it's not a pertinent question is
[TS]
◼
►
that it doesn't bear on my ability to
[TS]
◼
►
govern next question right and if Bill
[TS]
◼
►
Clinton had just said that's not
[TS]
◼
►
anybody's business and if they had
[TS]
◼
►
continued to throw questions at him she
[TS]
◼
►
said alright the press conference is
[TS]
◼
►
over i'll be back when you can figure
[TS]
◼
►
out i'll be back when you the press
[TS]
◼
►
corps have grown up enough you can
[TS]
◼
►
figure out some reasonable questions to
[TS]
◼
►
ask the President of the United States
[TS]
◼
►
goodbye right and if he doesn't come
[TS]
◼
►
back when you're ready to ask a grown-up
[TS]
◼
►
question about running the world
[TS]
◼
►
yeah because what would it would end up
[TS]
◼
►
being Clinton's undoing was not that he
[TS]
◼
►
slept with Monica Lewinsky that he lied
[TS]
◼
►
about it and so there will come a time
[TS]
◼
►
well so he lied about it in an age where
[TS]
◼
►
is the line about it was not something
[TS]
◼
►
that he could count on everybody to help
[TS]
◼
►
him paper over we were was ok for us to
[TS]
◼
►
not make a big deal of how much help
[TS]
◼
►
Britain Got walking up to the lectern
[TS]
◼
►
and we had our reasons right there was
[TS]
◼
►
there was just a kind of decorum at the
[TS]
◼
►
time where you know Kennedy got so much
[TS]
◼
►
more tail than Clinton do you think I
[TS]
◼
►
mean community had a lot of lot of
[TS]
◼
►
intercourse but the problem with Kennedy
[TS]
◼
►
wasn't that he wasn't just that he had
[TS]
◼
►
intercourse with her that he had that he
[TS]
◼
►
made congress with a lot of young ladies
[TS]
◼
►
but Kennedy was completely doped up 24
[TS]
◼
►
hours a day because of the was Addison's
[TS]
◼
►
yeah i mean he was in he was in
[TS]
◼
►
excruciating pain right barely he could
[TS]
◼
►
barely walk and dr. feelgood was
[TS]
◼
►
shooting a cocktail event Federman's
[TS]
◼
►
asset that's the other cover-up thing
[TS]
◼
►
that's so interesting the joe i think
[TS]
◼
►
didn't have to have a big role in that
[TS]
◼
►
of like nobody ever finds out that like
[TS]
◼
►
every every place the president ever
[TS]
◼
►
goes is is full of all kinds of drugs
[TS]
◼
►
for helping him get by but then all
[TS]
◼
►
kinds of stuff in case he just goes tits
[TS]
◼
►
up and if that's a serious security risk
[TS]
◼
►
during like the cuban missile crisis
[TS]
◼
►
like this would have been nice to know
[TS]
◼
►
yeah well i know i mean if you if you
[TS]
◼
►
think about now like john-john Kennedy
[TS]
◼
►
would not only would he never be elected
[TS]
◼
►
president States but john kennedy from a
[TS]
◼
►
very young age would have been treated
[TS]
◼
►
as a special little flower who needs it
[TS]
◼
►
needs a little cup with his medication
[TS]
◼
►
in it every day at lunch and every day
[TS]
◼
►
you know like John Kennedy way like i
[TS]
◼
►
said he'd be seen as kind of a fag
[TS]
◼
►
because your books and read books and
[TS]
◼
►
stuff is maybe I think about who john
[TS]
◼
►
kennedy was he is entirely the product
[TS]
◼
►
of a being bullied by his father and his
[TS]
◼
►
older brothers and of course we've made
[TS]
◼
►
that illegal now you can't bully a kid
[TS]
◼
►
and and also he was frail and teased and
[TS]
◼
►
so he you know he fought and fought and
[TS]
◼
►
fought against being frail and and sick
[TS]
◼
►
and bullied and he became president the
[TS]
◼
►
united states but that we've made all
[TS]
◼
►
those things illegal now so well he got
[TS]
◼
►
only a lot of help from Kennedy would be
[TS]
◼
►
a lot of Health getting into office
[TS]
◼
►
right now he'd be somewhere
[TS]
◼
►
riding on his blog about his struggles
[TS]
◼
►
with the you know he put his struggles
[TS]
◼
►
to get get the right ad cocktail
[TS]
◼
►
yeah and treasurer and yeah but I get a
[TS]
◼
►
lot of people there's a lot of there's a
[TS]
◼
►
lot of people in their fifties in the
[TS]
◼
►
South right now riding around on boats
[TS]
◼
►
it there Sheriff grandfather's got spot
[TS]
◼
►
with Joe Kennedy's money
[TS]
◼
►
oh don't worry it's gonna be fine you're
[TS]
◼
►
fine you're gonna get you're gonna carry
[TS]
◼
►
you but no problem
[TS]
◼
►
they're all nickname Gator it said the
[TS]
◼
►
other Gator here's the problem it's 47
[TS]
◼
►
minutes and 56 seconds too late to make
[TS]
◼
►
this funny show but like this is the
[TS]
◼
►
thing and this is why i think the Senate
[TS]
◼
►
might be a waste of your time but it's
[TS]
◼
►
certainly we should be in Special Forces
[TS]
◼
►
it certainly is you being elected I
[TS]
◼
►
think it's probably just a bad idea for
[TS]
◼
►
a variety of reasons logo i think that i
[TS]
◼
►
think would be a tremendous idea the
[TS]
◼
►
problem is that what that you got to get
[TS]
◼
►
elected you should order the line is you
[TS]
◼
►
got to have stupid people like you
[TS]
◼
►
yeah but stupid people
[TS]
◼
►
always like me are you kidding me right
[TS]
◼
►
stupid people think i'm aware you feel
[TS]
◼
►
like you really get on with stupid
[TS]
◼
►
people i mean i can get on with all
[TS]
◼
►
kinds of people that could you adjust
[TS]
◼
►
these no you don't you don't adopt a
[TS]
◼
►
patois but you feel like you adjust are
[TS]
◼
►
you able to convincingly uh what's
[TS]
◼
►
squelch down your belt and strong when
[TS]
◼
►
I i think it has to do with
[TS]
◼
►
understanding for spending a lot of time
[TS]
◼
►
trying to understand someone who does
[TS]
◼
►
not want to make a mental effort but
[TS]
◼
►
prefers to make an emotional effort to
[TS]
◼
►
but prefers to interact with the world
[TS]
◼
►
strictly on our kind of like immediate
[TS]
◼
►
emotional basis her and not sit and
[TS]
◼
►
think about even the basic building
[TS]
◼
►
blocks of a what their experiences but
[TS]
◼
►
just react to it emotionally and
[TS]
◼
►
immediately and I've tried to explain my
[TS]
◼
►
thinking again was in while in
[TS]
◼
►
simplified version taking taking many
[TS]
◼
►
things at face value without considering
[TS]
◼
►
in my case one of my obsessions is what
[TS]
◼
►
is whether it's a compliment or an
[TS]
◼
►
insult or to be honest guys with ax
[TS]
◼
►
handles like what's really going on
[TS]
◼
►
there like that what is being said and
[TS]
◼
►
what's being not said when the whole
[TS]
◼
►
time you're telling a story and all I
[TS]
◼
►
could see was scared guys like they're
[TS]
◼
►
not real tough guys like real tough guys
[TS]
◼
►
wouldn't need three of them in ax
[TS]
◼
►
handles like they were scared and they
[TS]
◼
►
kept hitting you after they couldn't
[TS]
◼
►
stop because now they're adrenalin was
[TS]
◼
►
high and they realize they could do it
[TS]
◼
►
yeah you know and that's Matt and they
[TS]
◼
►
weren't listening to me as I was
[TS]
◼
►
patiently explaining to them all the
[TS]
◼
►
lighting this poster on fire a wasn't
[TS]
◼
►
their business and be wasn't really a
[TS]
◼
►
bigger reason that you guys can have
[TS]
◼
►
just found something to do together as a
[TS]
◼
►
project right now i mean i think that
[TS]
◼
►
the Venn diagram for that you certainly
[TS]
◼
►
had time to dry but I mean like that
[TS]
◼
►
with there's a lot more to it and that's
[TS]
◼
►
all that's one of the four of us take
[TS]
◼
►
these bats and this lighter who and go
[TS]
◼
►
like make a make a fire someone soup
[TS]
◼
►
right i have some fun
[TS]
◼
►
it's like if you get but the dumb people
[TS]
◼
►
think they don't like Saddam I mean you
[TS]
◼
►
know that stupidly abled are na ah i
[TS]
◼
►
think it's it's not i feels to me like
[TS]
◼
►
it feels like even with my friends who
[TS]
◼
►
are really really smart and are so into
[TS]
◼
►
the politics you know they are they're
[TS]
◼
►
so smart people let me just stipulate
[TS]
◼
►
but along the line especially in
[TS]
◼
►
politics there's just so much branding
[TS]
◼
►
and looking for somebody that says
[TS]
◼
►
something you can agree with without
[TS]
◼
►
doing any of your due diligence on how
[TS]
◼
►
that you know comports with what they've
[TS]
◼
►
done in their life you know what I mean
[TS]
◼
►
and like you're not out there going like
[TS]
◼
►
well here's a chart showing like what i
[TS]
◼
►
should say this week you would be
[TS]
◼
►
somebody you could go out there and say
[TS]
◼
►
like believe me I understand being
[TS]
◼
►
I've been pretty fucked out now that
[TS]
◼
►
that but also immediate all politics is
[TS]
◼
►
local as the is the phrase and one of
[TS]
◼
►
the things that I learned growing up in
[TS]
◼
►
surrounded by people in politics was
[TS]
◼
►
that but the e you get so you get so
[TS]
◼
►
much of of what is what ultimately is
[TS]
◼
►
national politics but ultimately is all
[TS]
◼
►
this like what are we going to do with
[TS]
◼
►
our bodies what are we going to do with
[TS]
◼
►
this what are we gonna do with that that
[TS]
◼
►
these different versions of a of what we
[TS]
◼
►
imagine his government and it all comes
[TS]
◼
►
down to ultimately different ideas of
[TS]
◼
►
public land use policy you know it all
[TS]
◼
►
comes down to zoning in a way and zoning
[TS]
◼
►
is a way that you can really get inside
[TS]
◼
►
your neighbors heads and zoning is a way
[TS]
◼
►
that you can start to understand why
[TS]
◼
►
stupid people are so mad all the time
[TS]
◼
►
because when you're trying to govern a
[TS]
◼
►
city you're looking at zoning and you're
[TS]
◼
►
saying this is going to be our business
[TS]
◼
►
district this area over here is the
[TS]
◼
►
these are going to be farms and if a guy
[TS]
◼
►
wants to build a skyscraper out here on
[TS]
◼
►
we're not going to let him do it because
[TS]
◼
►
we don't have the infrastructure there
[TS]
◼
►
that's not where you get to build
[TS]
◼
►
skyscrapers so we're workin finding the
[TS]
◼
►
skyscrapers to downtown
[TS]
◼
►
well so the guy that owns the farm says
[TS]
◼
►
who the hell are those guys downtown to
[TS]
◼
►
tell me I can't build a skyscraper here
[TS]
◼
►
because not so much about skyscrapers as
[TS]
◼
►
that this larger states rights it should
[TS]
◼
►
become the state's rights not expressly
[TS]
◼
►
know what I mean that's exactly states
[TS]
◼
►
like note in the states rights and
[TS]
◼
►
decoded sense of I'm the south and
[TS]
◼
►
nobody's gonna fucking tell me
[TS]
◼
►
to do right and that happens everywhere
[TS]
◼
►
you go and watching it here in seattle
[TS]
◼
►
where for a long time there was no there
[TS]
◼
►
was no zoning and people were just going
[TS]
◼
►
out and they were buying 500 acres of
[TS]
◼
►
farmland right on the edge of town and
[TS]
◼
►
they were building a cookie cutter
[TS]
◼
►
development as fast as they could nail
[TS]
◼
►
it on her until there were no farms left
[TS]
◼
►
and so the city so everybody's
[TS]
◼
►
complaining to the city why are you
[TS]
◼
►
letting them do this with your they're
[TS]
◼
►
ruining the city and so the city says
[TS]
◼
►
okay I you can't do that anymore
[TS]
◼
►
you can't be can't we're going to
[TS]
◼
►
preserve that farmland and we're going
[TS]
◼
►
to concentrate development downtown
[TS]
◼
►
well I'm instantly every farmer within
[TS]
◼
►
400 miles of seattle was infuriated not
[TS]
◼
►
but not because most of them ever
[TS]
◼
►
intended to build a subdivision on their
[TS]
◼
►
farm but because the city had just taken
[TS]
◼
►
away that possibility but it said you
[TS]
◼
►
know it's like passing a law that says
[TS]
◼
►
it's illegal it's still legal for you to
[TS]
◼
►
win a lottery up to a hundred and
[TS]
◼
►
seventeen dollars but you're not allowed
[TS]
◼
►
to win a lottery over 15 million dollars
[TS]
◼
►
think about that for a second right you
[TS]
◼
►
go to somebody you know what here's the
[TS]
◼
►
thing you can keep playing for somebody
[TS]
◼
►
whoa whoa nobody's gonna take my way my
[TS]
◼
►
right to win a hundred and seven in
[TS]
◼
►
there are millions and millions of
[TS]
◼
►
millions of dollars even there's no
[TS]
◼
►
fucking way in the entire world that
[TS]
◼
►
they're ever gonna win the lottery the
[TS]
◼
►
fact that you've taken away their right
[TS]
◼
►
to do that every component to be small
[TS]
◼
►
potatoes is is philosophically at odds
[TS]
◼
►
with those folks now
[TS]
◼
►
well not just that but but you're at
[TS]
◼
►
you're going to if you want to each one
[TS]
◼
►
of these farmers and set down in the
[TS]
◼
►
living room you said listen do you want
[TS]
◼
►
to see a world where there are no more
[TS]
◼
►
farms they would say of course not right
[TS]
◼
►
it's like selling somebody a vacuum
[TS]
◼
►
cleaner you just get them to say yes
[TS]
◼
►
five times and somewhere around the 7th
[TS]
◼
►
or 8th time they will buy a fucking
[TS]
◼
►
vacuum cleaner is what they've gotten so
[TS]
◼
►
used to saying yes would you say that
[TS]
◼
►
the life of your children is more
[TS]
◼
►
important than the fat cats on Wall
[TS]
◼
►
oh my god yes what the fuck is an
[TS]
◼
►
infraction and then people use that same
[TS]
◼
►
sentence to sell both political views
[TS]
◼
►
absolutely absolutely but but if you go
[TS]
◼
►
to if you go to America and you say we
[TS]
◼
►
do you want to see the death of the
[TS]
◼
►
family farm in your lifetime
[TS]
◼
►
they're all going to say no if you say
[TS]
◼
►
okay in that case eat
[TS]
◼
►
where we have passed a law that you can
[TS]
◼
►
no longer develop your property they're
[TS]
◼
►
going to say well I want that line drawn
[TS]
◼
►
right on the other side of me you know
[TS]
◼
►
that restriction placed right on the
[TS]
◼
►
other side of my opportunity to develop
[TS]
◼
►
my farm and make a hundred million
[TS]
◼
►
dollars even if I never do it how many
[TS]
◼
►
people would stop to think that if you
[TS]
◼
►
really want to keep family farms alive
[TS]
◼
►
you probably shouldn't let fucking
[TS]
◼
►
skyscrapers people don them right now a
[TS]
◼
►
lot of family farm anymore it's like if
[TS]
◼
►
you agree if we agree you're gonna have
[TS]
◼
►
to make this sacrifice we all make
[TS]
◼
►
sacrifices you as a farm owner are going
[TS]
◼
►
to have to make this sacrifice and
[TS]
◼
►
that's the point at which right
[TS]
◼
►
most people don't want to be the one
[TS]
◼
►
hand and most people walk away from that
[TS]
◼
►
encounter not thinking about the big
[TS]
◼
►
picture but saying to themselves and
[TS]
◼
►
this is the narrative of the whole of
[TS]
◼
►
all conservatism which is why am I the
[TS]
◼
►
one that has to make the sacrifice right
[TS]
◼
►
if you listen to anyone on the
[TS]
◼
►
conservative spectrum talk about being
[TS]
◼
►
asked to make sacrifices they all they
[TS]
◼
►
all speak about it in language as though
[TS]
◼
►
they are the only one who ever had to
[TS]
◼
►
make a sacrifice and so so that's the
[TS]
◼
►
difference between you know that that is
[TS]
◼
►
where local politics expands to national
[TS]
◼
►
politics and that is a that is a world
[TS]
◼
►
I've spent my whole life trying to
[TS]
◼
►
understand so I feel like I could I
[TS]
◼
►
could I could easily run for office and
[TS]
◼
►
at least make myself understood to those
[TS]
◼
►
people because I because I understand i
[TS]
◼
►
can put myself any of us can put
[TS]
◼
►
ourselves in the shoes of feeling like
[TS]
◼
►
that kid on Christmas morning and all of
[TS]
◼
►
your brothers and sisters got a present
[TS]
◼
►
but the family ran out of money and
[TS]
◼
►
you're the one that doesn't get right on
[TS]
◼
►
it and let the risk of falling into this
[TS]
◼
►
but you know what lake off identifies in
[TS]
◼
►
that and I don't think an elephant book
[TS]
◼
►
the conservative model of government as
[TS]
◼
►
a family or nation as a family you know
[TS]
◼
►
that'sthat's paradigm that was very
[TS]
◼
►
effective like You Don't Tell I don't
[TS]
◼
►
need a permission slip to invade
[TS]
◼
►
Afghanistan are necessary iraq so forth
[TS]
◼
►
but i mean i think that family thing
[TS]
◼
►
think of it this way this is where it
[TS]
◼
►
becomes valuable to me is like imagined
[TS]
◼
►
like if you are a parent and you had god
[TS]
◼
►
forbid you had a bunch of kids under the
[TS]
◼
►
age of six like do they get to vote
[TS]
◼
►
about whether you're going to have mms
[TS]
◼
►
like do they get of
[TS]
◼
►
but in that we would you say to them is
[TS]
◼
►
in the school is just a reminder on how
[TS]
◼
►
liberal you are because I know a lot of
[TS]
◼
►
money to bring your own bag lot of
[TS]
◼
►
hippie a lot of hippie parents around
[TS]
◼
►
here in Seattle they're like you want
[TS]
◼
►
you to stick of butter / dinner the
[TS]
◼
►
rights as long as vegan butter smeared
[TS]
◼
►
on a spider sugar the um no but i guess
[TS]
◼
►
i'm saying is a sound making them
[TS]
◼
►
business terribly mixed metaphor here
[TS]
◼
►
but but you know what i want is a
[TS]
◼
►
candidate and I've seen if they feel
[TS]
◼
►
like sometimes people like barney frank
[TS]
◼
►
or like people not just click because
[TS]
◼
►
the gate park because the
[TS]
◼
►
straight-talking part the occasional
[TS]
◼
►
straight-talking part of the politician
[TS]
◼
►
we're so what are my values if it is a
[TS]
◼
►
value it at least value in the sense if
[TS]
◼
►
I know when I'm fucking up at it i think
[TS]
◼
►
and i definitely see what other people
[TS]
◼
►
are fucking about it is like everything
[TS]
◼
►
that you are your green ok your green
[TS]
◼
►
for what cost to you know know that
[TS]
◼
►
green for like how much money it saves
[TS]
◼
►
you right and this is why bit with the
[TS]
◼
►
fucking hotels you go in and every
[TS]
◼
►
single thing they do to be green save
[TS]
◼
►
some money right and it does not save
[TS]
◼
►
you anything or well it's absolutely or
[TS]
◼
►
more stimulated this point if they
[TS]
◼
►
wanted to be green
[TS]
◼
►
why don't they spend whatever it takes
[TS]
◼
►
to become become completely solar light
[TS]
◼
►
why don't you what would it cost not for
[TS]
◼
►
you just to get more insulation to save
[TS]
◼
►
you money I get it but you don't get to
[TS]
◼
►
call yourself green just because you
[TS]
◼
►
save money you get to call yourself
[TS]
◼
►
green when you give things up
[TS]
◼
►
mhm including money including money and
[TS]
◼
►
that's the thing is fucking politics
[TS]
◼
►
that drives me bananas
[TS]
◼
►
there's two things in politics first of
[TS]
◼
►
all politics as pro wrestling it is
[TS]
◼
►
about as valuable to follow politics as
[TS]
◼
►
it is to follow for wrestling if you
[TS]
◼
►
enjoy you should do it but if you care
[TS]
◼
►
if i can change yourself get out there
[TS]
◼
►
be a man about it don't worry about
[TS]
◼
►
Twitter you don't time for twitter you
[TS]
◼
►
got to change the world gum we go now
[TS]
◼
►
here's the second one the second one is
[TS]
◼
►
what the fuck that you give up because
[TS]
◼
►
your ex so if you really care a lot
[TS]
◼
►
about anything I want to know what you
[TS]
◼
►
gave up for that not just even money you
[TS]
◼
►
know what I mean like I'm not for the
[TS]
◼
►
parent park ever comes in case somebody
[TS]
◼
►
comes up and goes what about the values
[TS]
◼
►
of the green space
[TS]
◼
►
of the green space
[TS]
◼
►
there what are we going to do for our
[TS]
◼
►
children and then the schools and it's
[TS]
◼
►
like I want to have politician can fire
[TS]
◼
►
straight back at that person and say
[TS]
◼
►
that's an excellent question let me ask
[TS]
◼
►
you what you're willing to pay for that
[TS]
◼
►
right and let me show you here's the way
[TS]
◼
►
it works we have this much pie and we
[TS]
◼
►
can cut it up in all kinds of ways but
[TS]
◼
►
every day I spend every day figuring out
[TS]
◼
►
who to disappoint least today right well
[TS]
◼
►
helping the most people and just because
[TS]
◼
►
you stood up there with your little
[TS]
◼
►
funny bag and give me some remarks but
[TS]
◼
►
you know I want somebody can fucking
[TS]
◼
►
take that person down and say here's why
[TS]
◼
►
we do that and then people like I think
[TS]
◼
►
you Harvey Milk was kinda like this you
[TS]
◼
►
can you get maybe it's all just a punk
[TS]
◼
►
bitch nobody straight-talking you can
[TS]
◼
►
say here's what that cost child probably
[TS]
◼
►
that though is that that that you do get
[TS]
◼
►
politicians like that like chris
[TS]
◼
►
Christie or even Mitt Romney with his
[TS]
◼
►
it's just that well as soon as you start
[TS]
◼
►
quote-unquote straight talking with
[TS]
◼
►
people you start saying things that you
[TS]
◼
►
know that the opposition is like here he
[TS]
◼
►
I mean you-you-you see straight that
[TS]
◼
►
that the gift is to be able to say those
[TS]
◼
►
things in a way that the way where you
[TS]
◼
►
don't end up hanging by your own rope
[TS]
◼
►
when straight talk straight talk first
[TS]
◼
►
of all what pass i'm gonna shut up after
[TS]
◼
►
this fucking cares I don't care about
[TS]
◼
►
politics by what passes for population
[TS]
◼
►
today really bugs me because it is the
[TS]
◼
►
kind of populism that basically says if
[TS]
◼
►
there's any other single person in the
[TS]
◼
►
world that has the tiniest thing that
[TS]
◼
►
you don't whether you want it or not
[TS]
◼
►
like they're a dick and you're awesome
[TS]
◼
►
and you're fucking martyr and that
[TS]
◼
►
driving that is not populism that is
[TS]
◼
►
just selfish and stupid and Prevention
[TS]
◼
►
behavior like everybody's got problems
[TS]
◼
►
and if when you grow up you realize that
[TS]
◼
►
everybody's got different problems and
[TS]
◼
►
you can't always understand other
[TS]
◼
►
people's problems but that is exactly
[TS]
◼
►
the kind of attitude that opens us up to
[TS]
◼
►
these charlatans and so all these people
[TS]
◼
►
who can sell us on that emotion without
[TS]
◼
►
ever causing us to think a little more
[TS]
◼
►
well what do they have to gain by
[TS]
◼
►
sending nicely populism that's always
[TS]
◼
►
been popular really think so
[TS]
◼
►
Andrew Jackson ran a campaign
[TS]
◼
►
oh well I'm based on even more somebody
[TS]
◼
►
who drops the g's and touch their
[TS]
◼
►
suspenders and says oh gosh oh golly
[TS]
◼
►
makes it sound like a regular dude and I
[TS]
◼
►
yeah yeah I mean populism is by by by
[TS]
◼
►
its very definition of appeal to the the
[TS]
◼
►
bassist emotions of the largest number
[TS]
◼
►
of unformed people there is no I mean I
[TS]
◼
►
there is no populism that isn't that
[TS]
◼
►
gross ultimately end up and the the
[TS]
◼
►
problem is a I mean we were all raised
[TS]
◼
►
to think that one day through education
[TS]
◼
►
we were going to create a nation of
[TS]
◼
►
philosopher Kings where everybody was
[TS]
◼
►
going to be hyper informed we were all
[TS]
◼
►
going to sit around reading alexandre
[TS]
◼
►
dumas and talking about the talking
[TS]
◼
►
about like a the the rarefied little
[TS]
◼
►
adjustments we needed to make two are
[TS]
◼
►
finely oiled comic you know complete
[TS]
◼
►
perfect democracy right and in fact that
[TS]
◼
►
education has dare i say not produce
[TS]
◼
►
this situation and as we hurtle forward
[TS]
◼
►
we we have a we have a we have a mass
[TS]
◼
►
electronic communication system that has
[TS]
◼
►
produced the the the appearance of
[TS]
◼
►
information and we have 200 million
[TS]
◼
►
people in America who feel like they are
[TS]
◼
►
informed because they because they are
[TS]
◼
►
being told things all day they're
[TS]
◼
►
they're watching and listening to people
[TS]
◼
►
telling them things and they see it with
[TS]
◼
►
their own eyes and they believe that
[TS]
◼
►
they have I mean at least in 1830 you
[TS]
◼
►
had people out plowing the fields and if
[TS]
◼
►
you came up to them and said what do you
[TS]
◼
►
think about this they say listen I've
[TS]
◼
►
never heard of it i don't know what
[TS]
◼
►
you're talking about like i have two
[TS]
◼
►
books in the house the Bible and the
[TS]
◼
►
other Bible and that's all I know your
[TS]
◼
►
name but now you walk up to to the to a
[TS]
◼
►
person with a with almost no capacity to
[TS]
◼
►
be interested in things enough to
[TS]
◼
►
self-educate themselves beyond just the
[TS]
◼
►
thinnest like one molecule deep
[TS]
◼
►
understanding of things but they know it
[TS]
◼
►
would they know one molecule deep about
[TS]
◼
►
1 million things because they're
[TS]
◼
►
watching it on TV they know who won the
[TS]
◼
►
Oscars they know you know they know the
[TS]
◼
►
that they know that scoochie just had a
[TS]
◼
►
baby or whatever in New Jersey good for
[TS]
◼
►
scoochie you know scoochie is my
[TS]
◼
►
favorite character on that show
[TS]
◼
►
now what she had hoped the people yeah
[TS]
◼
►
that's the the show about them with
[TS]
◼
►
their there's they're doing their thing
[TS]
◼
►
and so she just had a baby and everybody
[TS]
◼
►
oh yeah who's an Oscar Wilde that you
[TS]
◼
►
know people seneca someone who knows the
[TS]
◼
►
the price of everything and the value of
[TS]
◼
►
nothing and that's why it reminds me so
[TS]
◼
►
much of sports is that people people who
[TS]
◼
►
feel extremely well-informed about
[TS]
◼
►
politics by tuning into the people that
[TS]
◼
►
they normally agree with and I basically
[TS]
◼
►
reading sports scores it does not make
[TS]
◼
►
you an effective part of the body
[TS]
◼
►
politic it makes you a sports fan
[TS]
◼
►
it makes you somebody who knows the box
[TS]
◼
►
scores and who's leading in the National
[TS]
◼
►
League Eastern Division you know who has
[TS]
◼
►
been with two and a half games ahead and
[TS]
◼
►
you know that this guy you know is going
[TS]
◼
►
to have ACL surgery that doesn't make
[TS]
◼
►
you a fucking expert and it doesn't it
[TS]
◼
►
doesn't it doesn't you know what I mean
[TS]
◼
►
it's like what you need to get past this
[TS]
◼
►
point of seeing these these two pro
[TS]
◼
►
wrestlers as the answer to any problem
[TS]
◼
►
you know i mean like it's just not how
[TS]
◼
►
it works its and it's anyway and I guess
[TS]
◼
►
the reason I'm so crank your defensive
[TS]
◼
►
about it is I need a John Roderick I
[TS]
◼
►
need somebody to make me care about
[TS]
◼
►
politics and to be willing to bring my
[TS]
◼
►
bag or or or for that matter demand a
[TS]
◼
►
bag depending on how it works out
[TS]
◼
►
according to you and I defer to you on
[TS]
◼
►
this but you know it just it just drives
[TS]
◼
►
me bananas that I I feel like we're
[TS]
◼
►
amongst my friends I'm the one who's the
[TS]
◼
►
dick because i'm seeing the matrix you
[TS]
◼
►
know and it but if you say anything
[TS]
◼
►
about that to people they get so mad I
[TS]
◼
►
remember I remember me and it wasn't
[TS]
◼
►
very long ago at all in the election
[TS]
◼
►
cycle really let's say half way through
[TS]
◼
►
they say about 2010 when the Democrats
[TS]
◼
►
got their asses handed them and I've
[TS]
◼
►
said this maybe twice
[TS]
◼
►
how are those hope posters working out
[TS]
◼
►
for you is a fucking human being from
[TS]
◼
►
Chicago is a good man he seems like a
[TS]
◼
►
good man but he's a fucking politic from
[TS]
◼
►
piece of politician from Illinois with
[TS]
◼
►
not that much experience people get mad
[TS]
◼
►
imagining on a poster like they're like
[TS]
◼
►
everyone kind of said the same thing and
[TS]
◼
►
then they say they're not listening to
[TS]
◼
►
what you're saying they're just hearing
[TS]
◼
►
you say something that sounded like
[TS]
◼
►
something sheets well I'm
[TS]
◼
►
what I'm saying is that like I would
[TS]
◼
►
never have a poster of a lawyer with the
[TS]
◼
►
word love on it haha
[TS]
◼
►
because that's not why I hire a lawyer
[TS]
◼
►
I don't I don't I don't go out and hire
[TS]
◼
►
a hitman for the mob because he talks
[TS]
◼
►
about his feelings like I want a
[TS]
◼
►
president I want fucking lungs accepting
[TS]
◼
►
Vietnam I want to Lyndon Johnson in
[TS]
◼
►
there I want somebody with good
[TS]
◼
►
rolodexes how to connect to kick
[TS]
◼
►
somebody's ass and knows how to order a
[TS]
◼
►
pair of pants those balls are
[TS]
◼
►
comfortable but I was we as we get as we
[TS]
◼
►
get set for God's sake except for
[TS]
◼
►
vietnam vietnam was a problem i just
[TS]
◼
►
stipulate as we get deeper and deeper
[TS]
◼
►
into the into this experiment of of pure
[TS]
◼
►
democracy and America is an ongoing
[TS]
◼
►
experiment it's 200 years in and it
[TS]
◼
►
keeps it keeps six or rewriting its own
[TS]
◼
►
rulebook but it is unprecedented in
[TS]
◼
►
human history that there was ever a
[TS]
◼
►
nation like this that was ever governed
[TS]
◼
►
like this and as we move forward we we
[TS]
◼
►
keep thinking that America is a thing
[TS]
◼
►
that once was perfect and we are
[TS]
◼
►
corrupting it or America was on a path
[TS]
◼
►
to being perfect and we have gone off
[TS]
◼
►
the path right but in in fact America is
[TS]
◼
►
this this petri dish that all the world
[TS]
◼
►
is watching and the world isn't what has
[TS]
◼
►
been has been for for 200 years like
[TS]
◼
►
cartoon of your holy shit i can't
[TS]
◼
►
believe we pulled that off for another
[TS]
◼
►
another five years right and the world
[TS]
◼
►
is watching it not just in admiration
[TS]
◼
►
but you know the world takes takes from
[TS]
◼
►
us some of the results of our experiment
[TS]
◼
►
and they take it over to their own
[TS]
◼
►
places where they have recently deposed
[TS]
◼
►
King and they say well we don't really
[TS]
◼
►
like everything about the Declaration of
[TS]
◼
►
Independence and the and the US
[TS]
◼
►
Constitution but we're going to take
[TS]
◼
►
some things we're gonna do this we're
[TS]
◼
►
and meanwhile we are prepared slogging
[TS]
◼
►
along trying to make this experiment
[TS]
◼
►
work and the further we go up this one
[TS]
◼
►
particular path the more everybody
[TS]
◼
►
starts to say boy you know oligarchy
[TS]
◼
►
in contrast to pure democracy and that
[TS]
◼
►
is just that's a coarse adjustment you
[TS]
◼
►
know we 50 years ago lived in a kind of
[TS]
◼
►
all the particle system where we had
[TS]
◼
►
people like Lyndon Johnson who were
[TS]
◼
►
taking care of things and we trusted FDR
[TS]
◼
►
and we trusted we trusted this sort of
[TS]
◼
►
group of who / who were almost all look
[TS]
◼
►
incredibly competent scumbags
[TS]
◼
►
yeah right i mean about so that's I mean
[TS]
◼
►
the but you know you said no it's like I
[TS]
◼
►
i mean i think their heroic I think
[TS]
◼
►
they're in heroic people but like once
[TS]
◼
►
you know about how that sausage got made
[TS]
◼
►
like you know they did some shit
[TS]
◼
►
yeah well but you think about you think
[TS]
◼
►
about somebody like Gandhi who was
[TS]
◼
►
incredibly competent and not a scumbag
[TS]
◼
►
he worked his whole life to free India
[TS]
◼
►
from British oppressive oppression I'm
[TS]
◼
►
missing a tooth and narrate the day and
[TS]
◼
►
the you know literally the day he he
[TS]
◼
►
achieved independence from britain all
[TS]
◼
►
of a sudden Pakistan once independence
[TS]
◼
►
from India and their plunged into what
[TS]
◼
►
is effectively a a civil war and a
[TS]
◼
►
religious war that that persists to this
[TS]
◼
►
day and it has become like the nuclear
[TS]
◼
►
flashpoint of the world and all of that
[TS]
◼
►
is a about the whole india-pakistan
[TS]
◼
►
Andy and we one might argue the problem
[TS]
◼
►
with Afghanistan is Pakistan and India
[TS]
◼
►
fighting kind of a proxy war in
[TS]
◼
►
Afghanistan and that whole problem is a
[TS]
◼
►
result of Gandhi freeing india from
[TS]
◼
►
British oppression
[TS]
◼
►
so even the best you know even the best
[TS]
◼
►
system even the even the the man with
[TS]
◼
►
the most integrity in human history
[TS]
◼
►
cannot produce a situation that isn't
[TS]
◼
►
that doesn't you know dissolve into in
[TS]
◼
►
this case not just Muslim vs Hindu but
[TS]
◼
►
you know it well I i'm not saying we
[TS]
◼
►
should return to the Raj i'm not saying
[TS]
◼
►
that that that that freeing india from
[TS]
◼
►
British oppression was a bad plan
[TS]
◼
►
it's just that now look now the now the
[TS]
◼
►
cats are out of the bag and people are
[TS]
◼
►
going to do what they're going to do and
[TS]
◼
►
but you're also you're also getting to
[TS]
◼
►
another big problem at least in my
[TS]
◼
►
estimation which is to never people who
[TS]
◼
►
may be people who aren't as fucked up
[TS]
◼
►
and liberal artsy is me who took don't
[TS]
◼
►
take into account how many how life is a
[TS]
◼
►
tile puzzle is like one little space if
[TS]
◼
►
you want to get that in order from like
[TS]
◼
►
12 15 you gotta move a lot of fucking
[TS]
◼
►
tiles around its super inconvenient and
[TS]
◼
►
if your only goal in life is to make
[TS]
◼
►
sure that number number for always stays
[TS]
◼
►
in the upper right-hand corner there's
[TS]
◼
►
gonna be so much work involved in moving
[TS]
◼
►
all those towels around and if you will
[TS]
◼
►
you sit around thinking i want for to
[TS]
◼
►
always stay there and don't you dare
[TS]
◼
►
fucking touch it
[TS]
◼
►
well that's not how it's going to work
[TS]
◼
►
everybody else wants their tile
[TS]
◼
►
someplace to there's a lot of people who
[TS]
◼
►
just want the tiles they move they don't
[TS]
◼
►
really care what the numbers are those
[TS]
◼
►
doing that lawyers and so but you know
[TS]
◼
►
and get to get for backup to back corner
[TS]
◼
►
in my hand to go and do somebody
[TS]
◼
►
somewhere real farm you might have to
[TS]
◼
►
just shut the fuck up and let somebody
[TS]
◼
►
else being for for a little while if you
[TS]
◼
►
ever want to have it back and and that's
[TS]
◼
►
all the Rubik's Cube and again this
[TS]
◼
►
apply this to me this disc gets to this
[TS]
◼
►
really cynical I don't know it's just
[TS]
◼
►
it's a weak spot that a lot of us have
[TS]
◼
►
an American because we also think you're
[TS]
◼
►
smart and special which is that if we
[TS]
◼
►
have if we have a lot of us if we find
[TS]
◼
►
somebody who will tell us that your
[TS]
◼
►
number for tile will always get to stay
[TS]
◼
►
in the upper right-hand corner and I
[TS]
◼
►
will defend all the people who think
[TS]
◼
►
your tires should move you're gonna miss
[TS]
◼
►
understand so many things about how the
[TS]
◼
►
setting aside the fact that they're
[TS]
◼
►
still you know what 14 other people who
[TS]
◼
►
want their tiles to move and so in this
[TS]
◼
►
is why i say well I in green is one that
[TS]
◼
►
drives me crazy because I think it's so
[TS]
◼
►
fucking cynical to say that and people
[TS]
◼
►
say when my question always is well
[TS]
◼
►
green at the cost of what right and in
[TS]
◼
►
this instance you could say to somebody
[TS]
◼
►
you can basically you treat them like a
[TS]
◼
►
child you treat them like a child he
[TS]
◼
►
took them almost like in my case like a
[TS]
◼
►
toddler right with my daughter three in
[TS]
◼
►
the afternoon I come home and I'm lucky
[TS]
◼
►
and we get to hang out and I end and
[TS]
◼
►
there's this whole list of things that
[TS]
◼
►
we could do that come up well you know
[TS]
◼
►
we could play some wii we could go to
[TS]
◼
►
the library we could read this comic hey
[TS]
◼
►
you know we have enough time that we
[TS]
◼
►
could go to the embarcadero are likely
[TS]
◼
►
to the ferry building we could and
[TS]
◼
►
there's all these things and they rent
[TS]
◼
►
themselves a little bit over two over
[TS]
◼
►
we could get a chocolate chip cookie we
[TS]
◼
►
could play in the backyard but the thing
[TS]
◼
►
is at seven o'clock when we still
[TS]
◼
►
haven't left the house she still thinks
[TS]
◼
►
we're going to get a chocolate cookie at
[TS]
◼
►
embarcadero and I'm saying you heard you
[TS]
◼
►
like blood ginger you all you heard it
[TS]
◼
►
all the stuff that you wanted to hear
[TS]
◼
►
and you cannot hear any of the parts
[TS]
◼
►
about these the really important part
[TS]
◼
►
because maybe I said it wrong but what I
[TS]
◼
►
really needed to say is we need to get
[TS]
◼
►
the fuck out of the house by 3 15 to do
[TS]
◼
►
yeah and now I'm the dick because i'm
[TS]
◼
►
not gonna give you a cookie well that's
[TS]
◼
►
politics to me today is everybody hears
[TS]
◼
►
all the ways that they're gonna they're
[TS]
◼
►
gonna get to call themselves green and
[TS]
◼
►
get the vegan meals but they're not
[TS]
◼
►
willing to pony up the dough to do it i
[TS]
◼
►
want me to sell it about to cfl light
[TS]
◼
►
bulbs that last week for the 99 cents
[TS]
◼
►
some green now i don't mean to suggest
[TS]
◼
►
that this is where this sorry child was
[TS]
◼
►
your relationship with your daughter
[TS]
◼
►
yeah but this is why a punch in the nose
[TS]
◼
►
is such an effective problem solver and
[TS]
◼
►
they just they just took that away from
[TS]
◼
►
you woke up one day and that was the day
[TS]
◼
►
they took that away from us
[TS]
◼
►
I'm sorry they took it he took it away
[TS]
◼
►
from from the people who might have that
[TS]
◼
►
coming because obviously there's a
[TS]
◼
►
there's often a guy who's standing on
[TS]
◼
►
his number four square and he's like I
[TS]
◼
►
moving my family's been in the top
[TS]
◼
►
right-hand corner that's right since at
[TS]
◼
►
six and and at a certain point you
[TS]
◼
►
realize you cannot appease this person
[TS]
◼
►
you cannot make it right
[TS]
◼
►
they will never be satisfied who and you
[TS]
◼
►
still need to move that thing out of the
[TS]
◼
►
top right corner you need to get you
[TS]
◼
►
need occupy square number four and
[TS]
◼
►
ultimately in times past a punch in the
[TS]
◼
►
nose was warranted a response this guy
[TS]
◼
►
in the nose and then it's like you said
[TS]
◼
►
whether it should give you some clarity
[TS]
◼
►
like having your head said why you're
[TS]
◼
►
it just gives a little bit a little bit
[TS]
◼
►
quick clarity anything but it's the
[TS]
◼
►
thing is the thing about eminent domain
[TS]
◼
►
or it's the thing about Oleg arche at a
[TS]
◼
►
certain point we elect people because we
[TS]
◼
►
trust that we don't have all the facts
[TS]
◼
►
and that these people are going to be
[TS]
◼
►
more informed than we are and they're
[TS]
◼
►
going to make decisions on our behalf
[TS]
◼
►
and in America now we elect people and
[TS]
◼
►
then we second-guess their every move
[TS]
◼
►
because we think that we are we all pick
[TS]
◼
►
the were the smartest people in because
[TS]
◼
►
because we heard there might be a cookie
[TS]
◼
►
coming even though we didn't understand
[TS]
◼
►
how much was involved before you got
[TS]
◼
►
here that i got elected because he
[TS]
◼
►
promised us a cookie and now where's our
[TS]
◼
►
home the fact that we that we we can't
[TS]
◼
►
all manage these things and we hire
[TS]
◼
►
people basically yeah be representatives
[TS]
◼
►
to go figure this stuff out for us and
[TS]
◼
►
if we're not the problem is that we used
[TS]
◼
►
to at least sometimes hire people that
[TS]
◼
►
we thought were better than we are but
[TS]
◼
►
in a mirror is better than anybody now
[TS]
◼
►
John that's right in America now that if
[TS]
◼
►
there is no one better than and anybody
[TS]
◼
►
who just wants to stand up and say I'm
[TS]
◼
►
the best there and so we hire people to
[TS]
◼
►
go to public office for us who are you
[TS]
◼
►
know who believe that though that the
[TS]
◼
►
world was created in seven days or who
[TS]
◼
►
believe that all you have to do is
[TS]
◼
►
implement a 2-percent across-the-board
[TS]
◼
►
tax and all of our bills will go away or
[TS]
◼
►
uh you know the believe that ron Hubbard
[TS]
◼
►
uh oh gotta make time he thinks ezc123
[TS]
◼
►
and weekend i'm sorry please continue
[TS]
◼
►
no no it's not just want to make sure to
[TS]
◼
►
make sure that was two things we have to
[TS]
◼
►
come back to you if we don't think we
[TS]
◼
►
have time for Howard's involves we
[TS]
◼
►
should say that but what I want to ask
[TS]
◼
►
you is this is a two-part question
[TS]
◼
►
answer it you know as you do but if you
[TS]
◼
►
had your druthers today if if you knew
[TS]
◼
►
in your heart or thought in your heart
[TS]
◼
►
maybe maybe you're just going to push a
[TS]
◼
►
rock up the hill but let's say you are
[TS]
◼
►
going to run for offers at what level
[TS]
◼
►
will you run for office and given where
[TS]
◼
►
you're running can you give me some
[TS]
◼
►
basic planks in the edge on Roderick
[TS]
◼
►
platform i'm just going to say to start
[TS]
◼
►
out i don't want to I don't want to piss
[TS]
◼
►
in your punch bowl but i think the whole
[TS]
◼
►
idea of you even even conceding that you
[TS]
◼
►
need to be elected for something as a
[TS]
◼
►
goddamn Holocaust well anything without
[TS]
◼
►
going in with a plan like yours a man a
[TS]
◼
►
plan a canal supertrain it's fucking
[TS]
◼
►
depressing as hell that you need to
[TS]
◼
►
consider asking somebody to do you the
[TS]
◼
►
favor of voting for you the the thing is
[TS]
◼
►
though that if you get elected say for
[TS]
◼
►
instance mayor of Seattle who you have
[TS]
◼
►
you have into you know instantaneously
[TS]
◼
►
all these agencies all those people
[TS]
◼
►
working for you who are trying to try to
[TS]
◼
►
run the city efficiently but also our
[TS]
◼
►
you know our kind of open to reform I
[TS]
◼
►
mean people are used to a new mayor
[TS]
◼
►
coming in already netiquette in its
[TS]
◼
►
infrastructure but you can always clean
[TS]
◼
►
house you do a little you do a little
[TS]
◼
►
housecleaning who i think that you know
[TS]
◼
►
I don't want to say that being married
[TS]
◼
►
the dead-end job but I think that's not
[TS]
◼
►
see now that's the kind of dependent
[TS]
◼
►
clause that gets a Manoff i have been
[TS]
◼
►
running for mayor of Seattle would be
[TS]
◼
►
would be a fascinating journey to go on
[TS]
◼
►
and I didn't being mayor of Seattle
[TS]
◼
►
given what I know about the city which
[TS]
◼
►
is everything you know there are some
[TS]
◼
►
there are some changes i would make
[TS]
◼
►
there are a lot of things about the way
[TS]
◼
►
Seattle runs that I would leave alone
[TS]
◼
►
that would just let Seattle run but
[TS]
◼
►
there are there are quite a few i mean
[TS]
◼
►
their relationships you have to maintain
[TS]
◼
►
and our present mayor is a is very
[TS]
◼
►
he's the hippie and so he has you know
[TS]
◼
►
he has hippie values and that squares
[TS]
◼
►
with what everybody around here if you
[TS]
◼
►
want something selfish and duplicitous
[TS]
◼
►
that's a good place to look
[TS]
◼
►
but but the thing about Seattle is there
[TS]
◼
►
there are a lot of people in Seattle who
[TS]
◼
►
are hippies who and I think that they
[TS]
◼
►
have a tendency to not you know to run
[TS]
◼
►
roughshod over the mirror to to do not
[TS]
◼
►
respect him and you know we hear in
[TS]
◼
►
these it's like they're too many bike
[TS]
◼
►
lanes kind of arguments now it's like
[TS]
◼
►
they're really are there too many bike
[TS]
◼
►
lanes and then what it and his problem
[TS]
◼
►
is that he he believes that we should
[TS]
◼
►
have more bike lanes any believes that
[TS]
◼
►
is self-evident he doesn't have to
[TS]
◼
►
explain it there are doing not they're
[TS]
◼
►
not is so he's saying there's not enough
[TS]
◼
►
streets that have a bike lane or we need
[TS]
◼
►
like five across on this road
[TS]
◼
►
I think our present there would be would
[TS]
◼
►
be gratified if there were only bikes
[TS]
◼
►
and the only cars then only it's a
[TS]
◼
►
fascinating conversation to have but so
[TS]
◼
►
I i think that I would run for mayor of
[TS]
◼
►
Seattle ok but ultimately my father will
[TS]
◼
►
not rest my mind my ancestors will not
[TS]
◼
►
rest until I'm a United States Senator
[TS]
◼
►
that's a harder job to acquire I don't
[TS]
◼
►
even know how to frame this but you know
[TS]
◼
►
that is yet John that is that is a great
[TS]
◼
►
goal or you are aging a little bit i
[TS]
◼
►
think that's actually more than a one
[TS]
◼
►
admit is going to be your people people
[TS]
◼
►
will probably care less about your
[TS]
◼
►
trippin but I mean you're pretty old to
[TS]
◼
►
get office at this point but it's true
[TS]
◼
►
it's it's a pretty old to start at the
[TS]
◼
►
bottom unless you unless you you do
[TS]
◼
►
something heroic recently Sonny Bono
[TS]
◼
►
you got elected to the United States
[TS]
◼
►
maybe he know he wrote needles and pins
[TS]
◼
►
well see ya that's what something costs
[TS]
◼
►
arts and I have always felt that the
[TS]
◼
►
the my entree into the jobs that I've
[TS]
◼
►
always wanted which are united states
[TS]
◼
►
senator a professor of a history
[TS]
◼
►
americas haha what if you want to be
[TS]
◼
►
yeah I'm sorry that's so awesome you
[TS]
◼
►
want to be a professor of history
[TS]
◼
►
emeritus yes would you if you had your
[TS]
◼
►
druthers I would hear third one too but
[TS]
◼
►
if you could you would skip over the
[TS]
◼
►
ignominious career of being a professor
[TS]
◼
►
fisting just being an American correct
[TS]
◼
►
crap i am I have no interest in being a
[TS]
◼
►
professor of history teaches survey so
[TS]
◼
►
forward-thinking I want to be a
[TS]
◼
►
professor of history and a lot of work
[TS]
◼
►
yeah or or a retired general of the army
[TS]
◼
►
and in order to get to those three jobs
[TS]
◼
►
the standard model that you started both
[TS]
◼
►
you started local level and you work
[TS]
◼
►
your way up through the ranks you don't
[TS]
◼
►
get to here's the thing you might have
[TS]
◼
►
to be you might have to be an assistant
[TS]
◼
►
alderman before your alderman you have
[TS]
◼
►
an alderman then you're going to be a
[TS]
◼
►
lawyer for a couple years become a
[TS]
◼
►
lobbyist then you might run for mayor
[TS]
◼
►
yeah I'm not interested in any of those
[TS]
◼
►
things that see this John that is just
[TS]
◼
►
that can I just say John and no offense
[TS]
◼
►
to anybody in politics that you know but
[TS]
◼
►
that's just undignified having to work
[TS]
◼
►
your way up like we'll wait what-what
[TS]
◼
►
are you in elementary school three
[TS]
◼
►
different things I I don't need to know
[TS]
◼
►
where the bodies are buried
[TS]
◼
►
I'll have people for that yeah well I
[TS]
◼
►
yeah so so using Sonny Bono as a model
[TS]
◼
►
which you know or or the guy who played
[TS]
◼
►
a Cletus on on Dukes have my thanks to
[TS]
◼
►
get cooter cooter right the guy who
[TS]
◼
►
played cooter um you know you got his
[TS]
◼
►
real name by the way is Joseph Regina he
[TS]
◼
►
you just parlay your fame in a different
[TS]
◼
►
vernacular who and then at a certain
[TS]
◼
►
point you start saying you know you pull
[TS]
◼
►
an arnold schwarzenegger you start
[TS]
◼
►
talking like you know about stuff and
[TS]
◼
►
enough people go oh that sounds
[TS]
◼
►
they're pretty soon you're the governor
[TS]
◼
►
of california is not a bad example I
[TS]
◼
►
think he's a better example incentive
[TS]
◼
►
bonus a bonus seems like whatever but
[TS]
◼
►
Arnold Schwarzenegger
[TS]
◼
►
you know say what you will about that
[TS]
◼
►
guy there's a lot to say about that guy
[TS]
◼
►
but you know what he worked really
[TS]
◼
►
really hard adventure
[TS]
◼
►
well that's a lot of work being arrested
[TS]
◼
►
about travel but I mean you know you go
[TS]
◼
►
back and read a little bit about his bio
[TS]
◼
►
he worked really sure he took steroids
[TS]
◼
►
and stuff but he still he worked really
[TS]
◼
►
hard as I broke up with the razor blade
[TS]
◼
►
to buy better million times you get paid
[TS]
◼
►
a little extra for that doesn't feel so
[TS]
◼
►
that's my plan i kinda like I feel like
[TS]
◼
►
rather than going to work outside the
[TS]
◼
►
system this is the part of him
[TS]
◼
►
struggling to understand you're gonna
[TS]
◼
►
work inside of an electoral system where
[TS]
◼
►
where where people who have no business
[TS]
◼
►
voting are theoretically the one that
[TS]
◼
►
are going to give or take a job from you
[TS]
◼
►
yeah you know I John that's it because I
[TS]
◼
►
admire the system you know ultimately
[TS]
◼
►
all the stuff that I say that sounds
[TS]
◼
►
like I am and I i'm interested in
[TS]
◼
►
running a a monarchy basically i really
[TS]
◼
►
admire I admire the American system with
[TS]
◼
►
with all its faults and i think
[TS]
◼
►
absolutely let me think let me ask you
[TS]
◼
►
this I don't even numbers up a way to do
[TS]
◼
►
this on hope life is how would you feel
[TS]
◼
►
about being a retired senator here's my
[TS]
◼
►
thinking you could become lets you skip
[TS]
◼
►
over being a senator let's be honest
[TS]
◼
►
it's a lot of working you're not going
[TS]
◼
►
to get it but if you were a retired
[TS]
◼
►
senator and you could be look at jimmy
[TS]
◼
►
carter right right now senator but in
[TS]
◼
►
this case I think he needs some
[TS]
◼
►
conventional wisdom that is fairly
[TS]
◼
►
undistinguished term in office it has
[TS]
◼
►
almost been out shown by the massive
[TS]
◼
►
amount of of good stuff he's done since
[TS]
◼
►
right so I think it's time for you to
[TS]
◼
►
put your past behind you
[TS]
◼
►
Tom openly about the fact that you've
[TS]
◼
►
done some kind of silly things in the
[TS]
◼
►
past and and get past this whole
[TS]
◼
►
election electoral process which is as I
[TS]
◼
►
say in my opinion a little and dignified
[TS]
◼
►
and you go straight to being an elder
[TS]
◼
►
non statesman well for instance uh but
[TS]
◼
►
David Petraeus the former general of the
[TS]
◼
►
army general petraeus who is a who is
[TS]
◼
►
right now director of the Central
[TS]
◼
►
Intelligence Agency who and who is being
[TS]
◼
►
courted to become the President of
[TS]
◼
►
Princeton University now this is a
[TS]
◼
►
career path that I would like to
[TS]
◼
►
inject myself into that is that's
[TS]
◼
►
opportunities you're not going to get in
[TS]
◼
►
till you've had a job and left it right
[TS]
◼
►
so he he was genuine right everybody
[TS]
◼
►
here for people before you can call
[TS]
◼
►
yourself an author right you got to be a
[TS]
◼
►
marine before you can be a marine right
[TS]
◼
►
i don't want to I don't whatever
[TS]
◼
►
whatever Petraeus did when he was a
[TS]
◼
►
lieutenant who well whoever's boots
[TS]
◼
►
shined to get promoted to captain I'm
[TS]
◼
►
not interested in shining those boots no
[TS]
◼
►
but uh and and frankly you know all the
[TS]
◼
►
wars he waged there during the Bush
[TS]
◼
►
yeah you know take them or leave them
[TS]
◼
►
but now to be retired general of the
[TS]
◼
►
army director see is a nice position
[TS]
◼
►
John considering a move over to be
[TS]
◼
►
President of Princeton you would want to
[TS]
◼
►
interview you or that would be so easily
[TS]
◼
►
with the concept of the club test you
[TS]
◼
►
know the clapping is no see LEP it's a
[TS]
◼
►
college level examination program and
[TS]
◼
►
basically the idea is if you go in at
[TS]
◼
►
certain kinds of schools not the kind of
[TS]
◼
►
schools even I was going to but it's not
[TS]
◼
►
as you can go in and take a test called
[TS]
◼
►
the clap and say you know what I'm going
[TS]
◼
►
to skip over all these distribution
[TS]
◼
►
requirements because I can demonstrate
[TS]
◼
►
its kind of like a smart person GED like
[TS]
◼
►
you going to do you know what I really
[TS]
◼
►
don't need to take composition you know
[TS]
◼
►
101 easy take a clap and so you can go
[TS]
◼
►
straight to skip straight over the stuff
[TS]
◼
►
that all the civilians have to take and
[TS]
◼
►
use call clapping out so I wonder I
[TS]
◼
►
don't know this could be part of the
[TS]
◼
►
supertrain program over something you
[TS]
◼
►
might want to initiate one of your own a
[TS]
◼
►
pilot programs internally but I think
[TS]
◼
►
you should be able to click over certain
[TS]
◼
►
jobs just clip out of having ever been
[TS]
◼
►
in the army but still be still have
[TS]
◼
►
people call me general
[TS]
◼
►
mmm that sounds good general Roderick
[TS]
◼
►
the problem with that though is what my
[TS]
◼
►
freshman year in college they gave a
[TS]
◼
►
writing test to the entire freshman
[TS]
◼
►
class who to place us somewhere in the
[TS]
◼
►
you know it was one of those writing
[TS]
◼
►
tests are you ready four essays and they
[TS]
◼
►
and you get a scorp one through five or
[TS]
◼
►
something like that and that's how they
[TS]
◼
►
know how how smart you are fucking
[TS]
◼
►
finally go up and I was like this is
[TS]
◼
►
this is amazing I can't wait to take
[TS]
◼
►
this test and i sat and i wrote a big
[TS]
◼
►
disquisition you know I forget what the
[TS]
◼
►
topic was some dumb thing that I sky
[TS]
◼
►
ignored completely and i wrote a big
[TS]
◼
►
disquisition on how
[TS]
◼
►
uh you know how everybody needed to to
[TS]
◼
►
just adopt the 15 planks of Roderick ism
[TS]
◼
►
and and the world would be made a better
[TS]
◼
►
place and I got a0 out of 5 on my
[TS]
◼
►
writing exam and the the kid that I
[TS]
◼
►
thought was the dumbest kid in our whole
[TS]
◼
►
dorm the the kid that just that that
[TS]
◼
►
that spoke as though he had been which I
[TS]
◼
►
knew him to have been hit on the head
[TS]
◼
►
1,000 times with a little cross rackets
[TS]
◼
►
he got a five and i got a0 and I was
[TS]
◼
►
like mhm mhm so that's how it works
[TS]
◼
►
that's how you make a super found a
[TS]
◼
►
shower that their family so you know I
[TS]
◼
►
so my senses I would try and clip out of
[TS]
◼
►
having ever been in the Army and go
[TS]
◼
►
right to being director of CIA and and I
[TS]
◼
►
would get a zero because somehow I
[TS]
◼
►
wouldn't have liked filled up there's
[TS]
◼
►
got to be something we're all these
[TS]
◼
►
things that you you look at his deficits
[TS]
◼
►
and let's be honest and the world and
[TS]
◼
►
the body politic looks at his deficits
[TS]
◼
►
but some of this stuff saying what you
[TS]
◼
►
said so candidly about about the city in
[TS]
◼
►
which you would theoretically govern yes
[TS]
◼
►
I could see how that could cause
[TS]
◼
►
problems but it's a shame that you can't
[TS]
◼
►
get some kind of you know like like with
[TS]
◼
►
clapping that you can't get some kind of
[TS]
◼
►
special credit for what you've survived
[TS]
◼
►
and what you put other people through
[TS]
◼
►
because it seems to me you know Petraeus
[TS]
◼
►
I mean I'm sure wasn't all just you know
[TS]
◼
►
beer and skittles de probably had to do
[TS]
◼
►
some shit some LBJ kind of shit right
[TS]
◼
►
yeah I think you did I don't know I
[TS]
◼
►
don't know I just say it's very
[TS]
◼
►
troubling me John I don't you know what
[TS]
◼
►
I think it is Merlin I know that without
[TS]
◼
►
and you you're ahead of me on this you
[TS]
◼
►
you you're aware of this in a way that
[TS]
◼
►
I'm only now just it's just dawning on
[TS]
◼
►
me but it might be that we have kept our
[TS]
◼
►
way into having a podcast her we talk to
[TS]
◼
►
each other back and forth
[TS]
◼
►
oh and that that is the thing that 25
[TS]
◼
►
years from now people will be like oh
[TS]
◼
►
man if I could just clip into a podcast
[TS]
◼
►
oh you're saying we're uh we were
[TS]
◼
►
generals of a kind were already there
[TS]
◼
►
how the fuck does guys get a podcast
[TS]
◼
►
we are effectively well how is he on the
[TS]
◼
►
board of exxonmobil what did you know
[TS]
◼
►
kind of thing right Zach what we make it
[TS]
◼
►
we make it look so easy to only did we
[TS]
◼
►
really do show up you got a broken
[TS]
◼
►
fucking 232 sandwich you talk about
[TS]
◼
►
getting your ass kicked with an asset
[TS]
◼
►
and has his handle
[TS]
◼
►
get your ass kicked it I gotta pee so
[TS]
◼
►
bad and a half later what the guy says I
[TS]
◼
►
really have to pee and then the show's
[TS]
◼
►
already people once and I I feel the
[TS]
◼
►
liter bottle and drink a couple minutes
[TS]
◼
►
ago while we were sitting here talking
[TS]
◼
►
you peed i muted it
[TS]