Roderick on the Line

Ep. 60: "Writ in His Boots"


  hello hi John more than meant hmm John [TS]

  rahner ray [TS]

  yeah just improvising now I'm not it's [TS]

  jazz tune oh its model [TS]

  Yeah right on Runner is not even fridge [TS]

  you don't know what that is from the [TS]

  olean that was that's Moroccan generally [TS]

  set stuff you get on the side of a head [TS]

  to the restaurant right [TS]

  I thought any only was a girl's nipple [TS]

  mmm bop ok i'm just-just introduced the [TS]

  meeting the sub-game a Clank ah my [TS]

  goddess certainly I apologize it's [TS]

  alright i didn't even notice that you [TS]

  were late until now [TS]

  oh yeah you can hear my kaspersky Oh KFC [TS]

  room [TS]

  god I can't even when I walked by I hate [TS]

  myself even thinking about it [TS]

  yeah I think about i think about KFC [TS]

  chickens coming through like a hvac tube [TS]

  dress just like chicken [TS]

  I don't think anything in science color [TS]

  electrics loose but I that's what I [TS]

  imagined it being passed through imagine [TS]

  there's a certain kind of electricity [TS]

  that they refined over the years that [TS]

  can feed kill d feather [TS]

  yeah and then and then I just address [TS]

  the birds parts [TS]

  yeah it's some kind of Wonka thing where [TS]

  there's a fan blades but i'm going to [TS]

  hand and Willy Wonka's like going [TS]

  through a psychedelic I've been up for a [TS]

  live chicken goes in and the fan blade [TS]

  deep bones it right but yeah and and [TS]

  breads it but you know how it works when [TS]

  you take a you know any piece of [TS]

  literature including a children's book [TS]

  and you have to turn into a movie you [TS]

  got up you know have compression editing [TS]

  you cut things out there was actually a [TS]

  little boy from Florida named Johnny [TS]

  chicken [TS]

  who's got a golden ticket to [TS]

  northeastern North Florida haha gotchu [TS]

  account in the book [TS]

  this is in the original i'm pretty sure [TS]

  was named Roland darling [TS]

  roald dahl do-over [TS]

  the roald dahl happy if you tried [TS]

  reading any of those books to your child [TS]

  no my child is pre is pre a literate see [TS]

  but actually funny you should say that [TS]

  turns out you know that term [TS]

  pre-literacy know this is interesting I [TS]

  I always felt like a dope for reading to [TS]

  my kid right well not a dope but I mean [TS]

  I wonder how much was you know getting [TS]

  through [TS]

  I think that helps in getting her into [TS]

  comics distorting her mind but you know [TS]

  it's funny I something at the library [TS]

  who knows libraries today you know let's [TS]

  be honest but there's a thing on there [TS]

  is all the steps of what you go through [TS]

  and one of the stages is called [TS]

  pre-literacy and i was very happy to [TS]

  find out that my reading was not for [TS]

  naught because be just being around [TS]

  books and interacting with books having [TS]

  books around turns out can actually help [TS]

  your child with their literacy I guess [TS]

  it seems obvious in retrospect a library [TS]

  would say that if you go to a Kentucky [TS]

  Fried Chicken there's a story about pre [TS]

  about how you need to introduce your [TS]

  child to fried chicken smelly poultry [TS]

  ism free poultry pre pre a pre [TS]

  masticated chicken teeth land that every [TS]

  child is ready for these 11 herbs and [TS]

  spices but let's tell you a little bit [TS]

  local salon not gonna hurt [TS]

  here's what you do you take the spicy [TS]

  you spit take the spicy chicken and just [TS]

  rub it on your child's top upper lip [TS]

  just rub it rub it rub it on the rubber [TS]

  on her gums [TS]

  I'm sure it's like giving a dog look [TS]

  okay it's like giving a dog a tennis [TS]

  ball flat tennis ball full of peanut [TS]

  butter [TS]

  the child will you no will be driven mad [TS]

  by this I love giving a dog peanut [TS]

  butter and makes my week my dog [TS]

  sometimes you get my chewing gum out of [TS]

  an ashtray at our house and nothing [TS]

  watching so much in that sentence is a [TS]

  standalone ashtray right 11 that was [TS]

  understandable might have just started I [TS]

  just got halfway to a scott walker song [TS]

  i think [TS]

  oh god um ways records insane but I know [TS]

  it's funny that when i go by it is like [TS]

  ago we call it a quarter of last resort [TS]

  I guess I'm learning a lot about in your [TS]

  neighborhood there's a taco bell it well [TS]

  it's it is looking friends got Simpson [TS]

  has dubbed simply calling it he'll which [TS]

  is a KFC / taco bell and your seats a [TS]

  hot component to match tonight [TS]

  thank Christ there is not a pizza his [TS]

  punishment when I was a kid they had a [TS]

  good jukebox and it's cool red red cops [TS]

  sure their pizza was was second to [TS]

  shakeys but still pretty decent my Scout [TS]

  troop went there one day and we got to [TS]

  take a tour of the pizza hut this is as [TS]

  you do in Cincinnati and even then this [TS]

  is 19 what may be 76 77 and they had [TS]

  eight they made no attempt to hide the [TS]

  fact that the dough resided in an [TS]

  industrial garbage can with the lid [TS]

  right around and they would just just [TS]

  stick their pizza hut hands right in [TS]

  there and grab ahold dingus of dough [TS]

  yeah yeah yeahs either when i got when i [TS]

  had the few times i have had occasion to [TS]

  have a pizza hut anything in the last 10 [TS]

  years when you're traveling now you're [TS]

  like your stock that might be honest and [TS]

  receive an airport only place you can [TS]

  park or yeah exactly get on a plane and [TS]

  you get the sense that they have they [TS]

  have one of those like a sort of like [TS]

  grass seed disseminators or or [TS]

  fertilizer be able in one hand you spend [TS]

  her with the app but what they're [TS]

  putting in the top is like is like a [TS]

  government margarine just do you guys [TS]

  open for the Circle Jerks one time [TS]

  they're just heating up this margarine [TS]

  and just like the whole the whole back [TS]

  of a pizza has got to be just three [TS]

  inches thick of cold clammy like knowing [TS]

  that back in the day when you can still [TS]

  be a little bit artist anal about a [TS]

  chain restaurant like knowing that back [TS]

  then I mean can't even imagine I by KFC [TS]

  man it's a black salon it is so I [TS]

  shouldn't work ping pong but the lady [TS]

  who I have no idea how this woman still [TS]

  is the manager of this place i won't say [TS]

  her name she's like oh she's a very [TS]

  plus-size lady african-american lady and [TS]

  she is a god damn fucking first-class [TS]

  riot because she's she's super loud and [TS]

  she's super-mad all the time she's [TS]

  yelling at the employees every and you [TS]

  know in my neighborhood [TS]

  english is the second language including [TS]

  the average people and people come in [TS]

  there and if they are isn't what you [TS]

  have today and and if they are not [TS]

  completely ready chapter and verse they [TS]

  got another pieces they got to know [TS]

  their size they're going to know which [TS]

  style do you want original along with no [TS]

  AC she read them the riot act and then [TS]

  she tells Adam it's and I like her a lot [TS]

  and you know she has to deal with that [TS]

  chicken guy you know the guy comes to [TS]

  eat the chickens but yeah I I every time [TS]

  I go in there though I do hate myself [TS]

  inexplicably even more than usual and I [TS]

  instantly feel transported back to I [TS]

  don't know like childhood was not my [TS]

  week my weakness my childhood weakness [TS]

  fast-food restaurant is arbys ah love [TS]

  Darby's yeah I know but our be talking [TS]

  about arms when we talk about our peace [TS]

  and like liquid beef or there's a [TS]

  there's a liquidity problem so explain [TS]

  that again now it arrives I'm we [TS]

  described it a while back it sounded [TS]

  like you know when you go you go by like [TS]

  a Thanksgiving turkey and it's this kind [TS]

  of avoid thing injection plastic imagine [TS]

  it being like that [TS]

  yeah well I think what happens at an [TS]

  Arby's is that the semi truck backs up [TS]

  ma and they unload like 250 of these [TS]

  brain shaped since cinder blocks of [TS]

  student likea center Center turkey [TS]

  shaped blocks of beef that are like the [TS]

  they're like the brain of a superbeing [TS]

  and then another same color like you [TS]

  know kind of like pinkish gray the beef [TS]

  pods [TS]

  and then the the fashion of their of [TS]

  their manufacture at an Arby's is that [TS]

  they thin slice this frozen beef and [TS]

  then flash fries right so it's super [TS]

  thin slicing of this frozen beef brain [TS]

  and then flash-fried on some kind of hot [TS]

  griddle and that's your RB sandwich and [TS]

  I I knew a kid who worked at an Arby's [TS]

  and he said that if you left one of [TS]

  those frozen beef brains out of the [TS]

  freezer that it it was it became a bag [TS]

  of meat liquid that it was not actually [TS]

  it's not actually because of course [TS]

  there is no brain shaped part of a cow [TS]

  except its brain [TS]

  yeah and it's not as costly that's a [TS]

  variety meet yeah this thing is like a [TS]

  20-pound thing the 20 pounds of 20 [TS]

  bumping that clearly was extruded from [TS]

  an old-fashioned cake frosting machine [TS]

  like war book and then from an arby's [TS]

  pump at but anyway I still when i drive [TS]

  past an arby's and the sign out front [TS]

  says 5rb sandwiches for five dollars i [TS]

  turn into an eleven-year-old and I have [TS]

  to go in and I know everything about it [TS]

  is wrong and i'm going to be sorry but I [TS]

  can't stop myself it is a thing it's a [TS]

  thing I like I don't know like from from [TS]

  childhood or something you know in [TS]

  Hawaii they have figured out a way to [TS]

  make spam seem like a cultural like a [TS]

  cultural imperative like they have to [TS]

  eat spam because it's their culture and [TS]

  they have to act like it's good to have [TS]

  to act like it's good to have to have [TS]

  added have fun with it and put pineapple [TS]

  slices on ya and I just feel like I feel [TS]

  like arbys is my Hawaiian spam our [TS]

  harvest is your Hawaii because I always [TS]

  get a little Swiss cheese on it you know [TS]

  I don't want to talk about it when I [TS]

  couple things first of all like be oh my [TS]

  god so disgusting an a I would love to [TS]

  know actually you know what i would not [TS]

  love to know i would love to not know [TS]

  how your friend discovered that is the [TS]

  idea of taking a frozen beef avoid and [TS]

  letting it get to a point where it [TS]

  melts into liquid does not say a lot [TS]

  about the QA QC well Harvey's you know [TS]

  you know what it's like to work in fast [TS]

  food there's not my girlfriend and my [TS]

  best friend both worked in arbys in high [TS]

  school boys so they know secrets that [TS]

  they're not telling us that smell does [TS]

  not come off i'm curious you have [TS]

  started to do this thing where you say [TS]

  you have a short list of things I said [TS]

  be the a and you start with B hmm what [TS]

  is going on with that i think is right [TS]

  now I think this is it seemed like you [TS]

  didn't go to a good school [TS]

  come on you know which comes first A&B [TS]

  yes but are you doing you're trying to [TS]

  subvert the dominant paradigm well I [TS]

  don't be normative i think yeah I don't [TS]

  know it's it's a the greek probably have [TS]

  a name for it like Malik syllogism kind [TS]

  of things you know those names for [TS]

  fermenting syllogism but yeah who maybe [TS]

  can ron jeremy [TS]

  there's there's a Greek name for almost [TS]

  everything that involves oratory [TS]

  rhetoric and drama right there's a whole [TS]

  awesome wikipedia page of like you know [TS]

  I like Oscar Wilde that you know saying [TS]

  the only thing worse than being talked [TS]

  about is not being talked about there's [TS]

  a name for that you connect the key [TS]

  metonymy all those kinds of weather just [TS]

  like dozens more of those [TS]

  yes for the different devices right the [TS]

  fallacies the World War fallacies well [TS]

  yeah there's the fallacies but there's [TS]

  also like the tips and tricks of light [TS]

  absorption who you know this is the [TS]

  crazy thing about reading the Greeks but [TS]

  the crazy and terrible thing which is [TS]

  that you realize very quickly that they [TS]

  already thought of everything they're [TS]

  already as smart as anybody was going to [TS]

  get 2,500 years ago and everything we [TS]

  think we've invented since then I mean [TS]

  sure science [TS]

  I mean be like yeah but I mean they make [TS]

  maximum like they they fucked every part [TS]

  of the Buffalo they took every little [TS]

  bit of information that they had access [TS]

  to and they they speculated about the [TS]

  things they didn't understand but like [TS]

  they exhausted every resource for trying [TS]

  to figure out the world [TS]

  yep I mean I mean you know so long [TS]

  before we did it's really dispiriting [TS]

  John you think about if you have [TS]

  suddenly there was a collapse of [TS]

  civilization and electricity was gone I [TS]

  I don't know if you ever think about [TS]

  this Merlin but if you do twice a day if [TS]

  you think God twice in a situation where [TS]

  the where the lights go up and we are [TS]

  back we are back to just what we have in [TS]

  books and we have to we have to rebuild [TS]

  civilization we would do such a much [TS]

  shittier job than they did even with the [TS]

  books that they wrote in our hands [TS]

  yeah we would we would do a shittier job [TS]

  it would take us five hundred years to [TS]

  learn to carve stone we would have to [TS]

  start at the beginning we would be we [TS]

  would be we would become to start like [TS]

  before the beginning because we have to [TS]

  unlearn all the shit we learn from [TS]

  Gilligan's Island right we would have to [TS]

  unweave would have to unlearn touch [TS]

  screens and hashtags had get back to you [TS]

  know caressing young men in a bath [TS]

  yeah which is how people are supposed to [TS]

  live is called mentoring it's called [TS]

  mentoring thank you [TS]

  well okay so not to put too fine a point [TS]

  on it but literally this might be the [TS]

  only bee in your bonnet who make a [TS]

  little birdhouse odd that is Norman [TS]

  all-time favorites I know if people [TS]

  don't understand how important as long [TS]

  as people do not understand i don't [TS]

  think how important they might be giants [TS]

  are to use sucking up a little bit now [TS]

  but I know but seriously it's excellent [TS]

  also should say but beyond but that song [TS]

  like they'll be they'll need a crane I [TS]

  don't think people really realize how [TS]

  important those songs are you understand [TS]

  it's it's literally it's it's a [TS]

  nightlight looking at a painting of a [TS]

  lighthouse [TS]

  yeah and and I guess what having [TS]

  self-esteem problems like wondering what [TS]

  it's capable of [TS]

  after killing Jason off and countless [TS]

  screaming Argonauts I know and you know [TS]

  you're about Jason Jason and the [TS]

  Argonauts you're about to cry and I want [TS]

  to I want to just want to let you have a [TS]

  moment [TS]

  I'm your only friend let me take this [TS]

  without your only friend find a little [TS]

  glowing friend somebody just tweeted at [TS]

  me yesterday that the long winters cover [TS]

  of pet name yeah there's a giants is [TS]

  perhaps at their favorite song ever [TS]

  really and that's quite a statement [TS]

  considering that when we covered pet [TS]

  name [TS]

  I felt that that we did not get i [TS]

  enjoyed our cover of America rocked it [TS]

  and I and I did not feel that we got the [TS]

  got the acclaim that was our do because [TS]

  of course the long winters are and also [TS]

  r & m they've been around longer though [TS]

  you know what you should do you should [TS]

  do an echo and the bunnymen get a drum [TS]

  machine side and taken over this i'm not [TS]

  you know what I'm done sucking up to [TS]

  that guy [TS]

  yeah i'm going to say I'm point I don't [TS]

  even know where to begin I got a lot [TS]

  here arbys ok so i am ready to write [TS]

  this down to the comic problem but [TS]

  literally this morning while I was [TS]

  urinating it occurred to me that if we [TS]

  had one of those situations where are [TS]

  the grid went down and we lost it but [TS]

  you know let's let's just say one of the [TS]

  problems is we wouldn't have the [TS]

  internet we would not have Wikipedia at [TS]

  are ready access finding a lot of us [TS]

  have gotten rid of our books sure we've [TS]

  got e right now I haven't I'm you know [TS]

  I'm sitting in a room full of books that [TS]

  serve me well [TS]

  smells like mobs in here learning model [TS]

  but I'm telling you when the grid goes [TS]

  down this this will be the repository of [TS]

  all of all important human knowledge i [TS]

  have the live from New York Saturday [TS]

  Night Live oral history got it you don't [TS]

  want you don't want to you don't want to [TS]

  live in a future escape without that [TS]

  book you know here's the thing you are [TS]

  going to encounter people like chevy [TS]

  chase after the apocalypse and we need [TS]

  to be ready for that [TS]

  yeah if you don't know that they exist [TS]

  how can you be prepared it's like it's [TS]

  like a great creation story in many ways [TS]

  creation greagle prequel yeah cause you [TS]

  haven't I was urinating yesterday [TS]

  occurred to me like what would happen is [TS]

  something like that came along and you [TS]

  know as in the the breakout issue of the [TS]

  New Avengers what if the lights are [TS]

  going off the kind of slowly and like [TS]

  what with the new we had some access to [TS]

  the resources on the internet but only [TS]

  for a certain amount of time we didn't [TS]

  know how long that was this is like that [TS]

  was in yearning for all that long but [TS]

  this is what happens as you do it goes [TS]

  through your mind and i was thinking [TS]

  like if we knew that there was a limited [TS]

  amount of time but didn't know how long [TS]

  like where would be start to make sure [TS]

  we had what we needed [TS]

  assuming we could print it out or [TS]

  whatever but this one is kind of what [TS]

  you're talking about that wasn't going [TS]

  to get their dreams where I think if I [TS]

  was a time traveler [TS]

  and I had two hours to prepare to [TS]

  bookmark as many pages in my iphone as I [TS]

  could before traveling back in time not [TS]

  to a pre electricity time but traveling [TS]

  back let's say I'm time traveling back [TS]

  to nineteen forty haha man that's my [TS]

  responsibility and I need to bookmark as [TS]

  much stuff in my phone as I can but I [TS]

  don't already know that I'm gonna want [TS]

  access to have two hours [TS]

  what do I put in my phone is for you to [TS]

  remember or do we assume in this [TS]

  universe that you would be credible [TS]

  enough for them to believe what you're [TS]

  showing them where is the problem how [TS]

  you so you end up in 1944 there you have [TS]

  no money [TS]

  you're dressed in your dumb modern [TS]

  clothes your sheer shrubby modern [TS]

  clothes you look like there's something [TS]

  wrong with you right people on the [TS]

  street are going to immediately look at [TS]

  you and say what's wrong with that guy [TS]

  whose haircut is weird like you [TS]

  something from the bonus March yeah this [TS]

  is exactly his clothes his clothes are [TS]

  weird [TS]

  something's not right about this guy and [TS]

  you have to establish credibility in [TS]

  1940 in such a way you have to you [TS]

  primarily you have to first establish [TS]

  the baseline of credibility that [TS]

  somebody is going to get you dinner [TS]

  right like you hear it you're in 1940 [TS]

  but you're still you still need to eat [TS]

  dinner [TS]

  you still need a place to stay you have [TS]

  to you have to have contemporary [TS]

  civility [TS]

  yeah i mean i know it sounds silly but [TS]

  that's part of it is you don't want to [TS]

  seem like a nut right and you have to be [TS]

  able to approach somebody and say and [TS]

  and and this includes like finding your [TS]

  forebears like my dad was alive in 1943 [TS]

  that was a lawyer wasn't right now yea [TS]

  he 1941 else he was a maybe competitive [TS]

  with stuffing coffee on his pants but I [TS]

  know where my grandmother and I know [TS]

  where she lived in 1942 I show up at her [TS]

  door knock on the door and say hello to [TS]

  go back to rural Ohio [TS]

  hello you know Mary Louise rochester i [TS]

  am a relative of yours and she's going [TS]

  to say really will come in and i'm going [TS]

  to say yes and I'm going to tell a [TS]

  little bit about the band great way to [TS]

  start [TS]

  yeah and she's gonna go now who are you [TS]

  related to and I'm gonna go well I am [TS]

  your cousin and I'm gonna you know like [TS]

  trickle off some [TS]

  the relative than I that I vaguely [TS]

  remember that she would know that is [TS]

  ambiguous enough that she's not going to [TS]

  be able to check it so then I you know [TS]

  Uncle Calhoun guys until the houses I [TS]

  multiple uncle Ralph's second cousin [TS]

  once removed but you don't have enough [TS]

  to go in and seem possible right and and [TS]

  in the in the manner of the time she [TS]

  would feel obligated to let me stay in [TS]

  the guest room for a night or two but [TS]

  then i'm on my own trying to establish a [TS]

  new life in 1940 with what I know is [TS]

  about to happen [TS]

  how do i what do i do like what know not [TS]

  only what are my historical obligations [TS]

  but like how do I provide a living for [TS]

  myself in that time with what I you know [TS]

  what I know is about to transpire [TS]

  without being a war profiteer or without [TS]

  going to a gambling house and bedding [TS]

  betting all you know betting the ten [TS]

  dollars that i put together on the fact [TS]

  that the Japanese are going to bomb [TS]

  Pearl Harbor on december seven you know [TS]

  got a time-traveling war profiteer got [TS]

  like exactly how do you how do you how [TS]

  do you typically live in the past with [TS]

  the knowledge that you have of the [TS]

  future and and presently features i have [TS]

  my iphone and okay maybe soon can i ask [TS]

  you some questions about this just to [TS]

  have some parameters [TS]

  ok I'm sorry to interrupt you a totally [TS]

  into this but you're going to run be you [TS]

  don't like that it's not that I don't [TS]

  like it I kind of ruined be and say was [TS]

  I'm into and b is this some questions [TS]

  and do you know the first of all do we [TS]

  assume that for the sake of magic your [TS]

  iphone will continue to work for at [TS]

  least a few months inexplicably because [TS]

  i don't know if i want to have 110 back [TS]

  then [TS]

  yeah right i mean that yes they did and [TS]

  you could still plug your iphone if you [TS]

  have an iphone charger you can still [TS]

  plug it into an outlet in 1940 but you [TS]

  don't but you have no internet at home [TS]

  it's just what you've loaded into the [TS]

  thing okay I think that's I think that's [TS]

  plausible ok they don't know you have it [TS]

  are you going to know the specific [TS]

  within like a week or so do you know the [TS]

  specific time that you're traveling to [TS]

  yeah let's say September 1940 [TS]

  determination for the war in Europe is [TS]

  raging to America is taking an [TS]

  isolationist stance [TS]

  the Japanese are moving into manchuria [TS]

  Stalin has made a separate peace with [TS]

  Hitler pop still funny up hilarious very [TS]

  very funny hilarious [TS]

  okay yeah Orson Welles the relevance [TS]

  again just director just to get it out [TS]

  of the way i an't I don't go too far [TS]

  here but are you gonna be around people [TS]

  are you going to go to like your mom's [TS]

  people or your dads people are they [TS]

  around people who might eventually after [TS]

  a couple drinks warm up to the idea that [TS]

  you might be from the future if you make [TS]

  the case [TS]

  well here's the problem i imagine this [TS]

  time traveling happening in place so [TS]

  might the house and I'm sitting in right [TS]

  now existed in 1940 and so all of a [TS]

  sudden I am sitting in the same room i'm [TS]

  sitting in but at the house belongs to [TS]

  somebody else and it's 1940 and I and [TS]

  unfortunately unfortunately for me right [TS]

  now I'm in a green-striped shirt my [TS]

  underwear and a pair of house slippers [TS]

  that are made by bugs [TS]

  oh really yeah d you know when the time [TS]

  comes gonna happen to examine your time [TS]

  in the current universe it's gonna [TS]

  happen it's gonna it's gonna come you [TS]

  could be a surprise [TS]

  it's going to happen in two hours [TS]

  because i have that lot of course I cars [TS]

  have time to change and I don't put some [TS]

  pants on mark a few things and classes [TS]

  that look like they're from nineteen [TS]

  forty because the easy one in some ways [TS]

  if you meet somebody who's probably a [TS]

  lunatic or a comic book writer if you [TS]

  met one of those people and you could [TS]

  say the closing price of us steel is [TS]

  going to be this tomorrow [TS]

  exactly that's one and then you might [TS]

  seem a little like a magician but that's [TS]

  one way you could prove it or you could [TS]

  say like Sears the name of a young [TS]

  person a surprisingly young celebrity [TS]

  maybe who will die tomorrow from [TS]

  emphysema [TS]

  yeah right i would also mark 19 40 [TS]

  deaths but all of the problem with that [TS]

  is that all of those if you think about [TS]

  somebody showing up at your house right [TS]

  now [TS]

  knocking on the door and saying hello [TS]

  Merlin man you are someone who knows [TS]

  about like you who is well-versed in [TS]

  science fiction let me tell you a story [TS]

  I'm your descendant from the future I [TS]

  have come here [TS]

  I know the following intimate details [TS]

  about you and he says two or three [TS]

  things that your great-grandson might [TS]

  plausibly know but that are still like [TS]

  intimate details and then he says [TS]

  tomorrow get less interested in [TS]

  auto-erotic asphyxiation tomorrow [TS]

  Carly Rae Jepsen is gonna die of [TS]

  emphysema and you're like uh-huh okay [TS]

  and then it has that homey maybe lady I [TS]

  don't know I just a name that popped in [TS]

  my room that I thought I read on the [TS]

  internet sometimes and I don't research [TS]

  and then you're like okay sure [TS]

  come in like I'm not going to introduce [TS]

  you to my family quite yet but come into [TS]

  the entryway like come into the anteroom [TS]

  and let's talk about this a little bit [TS]

  longer [TS]

  tell me more about myself from the [TS]

  future and then pretty soon everything [TS]

  that this person says is going to sound [TS]

  like bullshit because they're going to [TS]

  say well in ten more years Merlin man [TS]

  you become a widely known internet [TS]

  celebrity I get it I get it [TS]

  how how how can i verify that and [TS]

  everything he's telling you about [TS]

  yourself in the past except for every it [TS]

  could be could be just like that he [TS]

  researched it on the internet really [TS]

  well tonight so I don't know it's very I [TS]

  spend a lot of time imagining myself [TS]

  walking down the street in 1914 my uggs [TS]

  with my historically inappropriate [TS]

  glasses thinking how am I gonna walk [TS]

  into a diner and tell the guy something [TS]

  that's gonna make him want to give me a [TS]

  turkey dinner without becoming a war [TS]

  profiteer initially you're probably [TS]

  gonna tell you can be like a hobo right [TS]

  you look for chalk marks because and [TS]

  chop some wood gotta work your way up [TS]

  yeah and-and-and the natural place to [TS]

  start is with your family but is that [TS]

  shit is that something you should do [TS]

  should you go to your great ground i [TS]

  think possibly but i also think based on [TS]

  reading some [TS]

  fiction that if you were to meet floozy [TS]

  oh who maybe had a lot of them problem [TS]

  well one that will get floozy I guess [TS]

  that would be like fancy society ladies [TS]

  like maybe somebody from preston sturges [TS]

  film [TS]

  oh I don't know I'm just saying if you [TS]

  met somebody made about how about [TS]

  somebody should have been an heiress is [TS]

  the daughter of somebody powerful who's [TS]

  the black sheep of african-american [TS]

  sheet if you were to get in good with [TS]

  her you know you might be able to bring [TS]

  her around I think about that what's [TS]

  that what's that William Powell movie [TS]

  you know with the famous windpower movie [TS]

  where he goes and poses as a hobo and [TS]

  then it becomes like that matter but [TS]

  there are just a lot of films of the [TS]

  time with that kind of thing happen you [TS]

  got Frank Capra making me and i don't [TS]

  know i'm not sure because you're you're [TS]

  you're gonna try you your your plan is [TS]

  that you want to convince somebody in [TS]

  the past two to believe that you are [TS]

  from the future [TS]

  well yes I think eventually but i think [TS]

  that the thing is before you try to use [TS]

  science you're gonna have to build with [TS]

  ye first of all you know be you're going [TS]

  to need relationships but a you're going [TS]

  to need credibility [TS]

  well the things that are not seem like a [TS]

  kook right 1940 is pre female orgasm [TS]

  when did that give a sense of when that [TS]

  started with the 1964 I think I don't [TS]

  think a woman had an orgasm until Kinsey [TS]

  until the kinsey report because you know [TS]

  you have these a lady that's the thing [TS]

  is they had a lot of accidental orgasms [TS]

  but they thought that it was some kind [TS]

  of consumption was usually horseback [TS]

  riding or dryers like it says you know [TS]

  that they slide down the banister I [TS]

  don't know what we think Peters was [TS]

  before mechanical dryers to so again [TS]

  when he have your crypt aside yes I was [TS]

  not gonna it was like a washboard they [TS]

  had that's a much different orgasm but [TS]

  also so you know women riding every [TS]

  lying down on painting couches wondering [TS]

  what's going on with them and you could [TS]

  arrive in that time and be like listen I [TS]

  know a secret [TS]

  I have a magic secret want to see what I [TS]

  can do and I think that would gain you [TS]

  entrance to the confidence of us of a [TS]

  rich society lady that had maybe like a [TS]

  lot num addiction if you could just get [TS]

  you know through the if you can get [TS]

  through the petticoats [TS]

  to say like I know a thing that you [TS]

  don't know your answer your question [TS]

  here I think you need to come in and [TS]

  seemed like a reliable cocksman is going [TS]

  to cut some wood [TS]

  yeah I'm just I'd show up and I'd cut a [TS]

  rakish figure and i would say listen I [TS]

  know that my glasses seem to be made out [TS]

  of a mysterious substance that looks a [TS]

  little bit like tortoise show you can [TS]

  tell them their goggles i could say this [TS]

  is all just sucks cock and my Maya my [TS]

  slippers are inexplicably complicated i [TS]

  think this slipper had to tell you John [TS]

  I don't want to judge i think the [TS]

  slippers are a fucking non-starter [TS]

  really i think you need to go get some [TS]

  brogues okay now wait a minute this is [TS]

  like one of those minecraft kinds you're [TS]

  gonna have to go in and figure out like [TS]

  how to get because your money is useless [TS]

  right you show you show up with the show [TS]

  up with some Kennedy dollars [TS]

  yeah they're going to say he's not even [TS]

  10 Kennedy is right but here's the thing [TS]

  you have this iphone that that will make [TS]

  you look like a wizard but also make you [TS]

  look like a way to get the internet on [TS]

  it you can't get the internet on it but [TS]

  you can it's a little tiny black box [TS]

  that you push a button and all of a [TS]

  sudden a photograph appears in all of a [TS]

  sudden a little video game appears now [TS]

  tell me that you go you go to the [TS]

  University of Washington and you go into [TS]

  some some commentary on a UNIVAC but you [TS]

  go in someplace where they got to the [TS]

  Difference Engine or whatever you find [TS]

  Richard famine em and you say listen I [TS]

  need to talk to you for just a second [TS]

  and then you open up your coat and you [TS]

  go Boop and he sees it and he goes what [TS]

  the fuck is that and what who the fuck [TS]

  are you and then you go exactly buy me a [TS]

  turkey dinner and we can talk about this [TS]

  okay this is getting boring probably but [TS]

  you could find out what a nerds were [TS]

  about to make that was groundbreaking [TS]

  ah maybe it's maybe like privacy items [TS]

  you go [TS]

  hey split any Adams lately or you go you [TS]

  go oh you know that's a real challenging [TS]

  problem you've got and then let me pull [TS]

  up your phone you should this is a [TS]

  formula or this is the finished product [TS]

  and he's gonna go [TS]

  only he would be able to understand why [TS]

  how much that was a thing he'd be [TS]

  excited he knows he gets it done Brandon [TS]

  is a bad example because in 1940 he was [TS]

  still working in some you'd have to find [TS]

  her me where the hell was he in 1940s he [TS]

  still in Europe [TS]

  I don't know this is coming into [TS]

  manhattan project yeah yeah I bet he was [TS]

  still in your you have to you have to go [TS]

  a lot of those guys got out by them [TS]

  you'd have to go to this is the thing [TS]

  we're establishing a list you go to [TS]

  Wikipedia you-you-you google all the [TS]

  atomic scientists and their ok you're [TS]

  right this is getting boring or you're [TS]

  simple-minded busy so you have to make [TS]

  two lists category colon lose you have [TS]

  never had an orgasm and atomic [TS]

  scientists who are on their way to [TS]

  America and and you know you appeal to [TS]

  both sides we have an arby's near our [TS]

  house it's near the lucky that we go to [TS]

  sometimes for groceries [TS]

  they got a sporting goods store my [TS]

  daughter likes to go to they've got a [TS]

  Ross Dress for Less that we can see from [TS]

  our our back window [TS]

  it's pretty close and i've only been [TS]

  there about two or three times the first [TS]

  of all arby's has gotten a little [TS]

  overwhelming [TS]

  they've moved beyond there and did you [TS]

  know that did you know that RBC center [TS]

  of its acronym or a backronym but did [TS]

  you know that our pieces an acronym [TS]

  Americans roast beef yes sir that's [TS]

  right you can tell from a different time [TS]

  because it's polite [TS]

  yeah well America's roast beef yes sir [TS]

  this can't be yogurt today would be our [TS]

  food would be America's be fuck you that [TS]

  this country's best yogurt you remember [TS]

  when this can be and I can't believe [TS]

  this is a good change to this this [TS]

  country's best yogurt i was very [TS]

  offended by that [TS]

  oh where they had to spell it out no [TS]

  tcby started out as this can't be yogurt [TS]

  and then like two years in they came [TS]

  back they came back around and they were [TS]

  like this country's best yogurt will [TS]

  focus group felt like this can't be [TS]

  yogurt was negative and a negative it's [TS]

  like I don't think of an elephant [TS]

  problem it's pretty good [TS]

  that's the yeah and what about teaching [TS]

  didn't used to just be tgif's didn't [TS]

  they didn't they use retcon to go back [TS]

  and make a TGI Fridays I don't know the [TS]

  answer to that I always thought it was [TS]

  tgifridays tgifridays there's a lot of [TS]

  some [TS]

  application you know what I mean yeah [TS]

  it's that easy I fridays i went in there [TS]

  and they like everywhere including hell [TS]

  the taco bell KFC they greatly extended [TS]

  their product line into areas they just [TS]

  shouldn't even be in order it's got [TS]

  mushrooms fuckin salads you know here's [TS]

  the thing this is this is going to [TS]

  survey when you go into the past please [TS]

  tell people about this okay i think they [TS]

  might have already known about this if [TS]

  you go into that diner obviously don't [TS]

  don't don't you know Michael J Fox your [TS]

  way into a pepsi you want to go in there [TS]

  you want to go in there and do something [TS]

  yes for a beefsteak it right with [TS]

  french-fried potatoes or something you [TS]

  want to sound sensible i'm going to say [TS]

  turkey dinner i'm going to say everytime [TS]

  turkey dinner i think it is a blue plate [TS]

  special be in good shape [TS]

  you're right blue plate special whoo-hoo [TS]

  and then the guys going to say fifteen [TS]

  cents and I'm gonna go uh oh shit my [TS]

  time has Roosevelt on [TS]

  yeah I tell you what laser money it's [TS]

  here in my phone and let me tell you [TS]

  good sir would you like to see a video [TS]

  game that was your fifteen cents is an [TS]

  area with poor scheisse have let me tell [TS]

  you let me ask you this has your wife [TS]

  ever had an orgasm answer i'm going to [TS]

  travel back in time and take that back [TS]

  hm so anyway we went in there and I you [TS]

  know what I got I got the classic I got [TS]

  the thing i always get a first of all [TS]

  when I got Arby's now because of my [TS]

  personality and my problems I over order [TS]

  because i think i'm not gonna be back [TS]

  here sin you get three french dip [TS]

  sandwiches done now you know what id id [TS]

  beef and cheddar beef and cheddar I like [TS]

  it except it's got an onion bun like an [TS]

  onion fine I'm you know if I like onions [TS]

  and you like buns like onions are like [TS]

  buns but I don't want an onion bun on my [TS]

  beef and you don't keep bonds in the [TS]

  house unless you're going to have a BBQ [TS]

  with some creepy but I but listen to [TS]

  show a lot if i go i don't keep guns in [TS]

  the house first of all your apps yet [TS]

  we're spending buns and that's right i [TS]

  have a lot of winners and no buns you [TS]

  get that you get the buns fresh and then [TS]

  the second thing is if i go to a bagel [TS]

  place and I say the first thing I say is [TS]

  give me a sesame seed big if they don't [TS]

  have sesame seed bagels i'm already [TS]

  suspicious [TS]

  I will then go to poppy seed if they are [TS]

  out of poppy seed i will against my [TS]

  better judgment get an everything bagel [TS]

  and if they are out of those then we are [TS]

  done this transaction is over I think [TS]

  that shakes the thing to do isn't it [TS]

  when you go and get everything bagel [TS]

  isn't that kind of mentality and that is [TS]

  exactly right and everything bagel is [TS]

  the most kosher bagel that you can [TS]

  possibly order it is a South it is the [TS]

  worst and I want to sesame seed bagel [TS]

  that's what i want and i am not had the [TS]

  pork chop and milk wine is not when [TS]

  somebody goes and gets a dozen bagels [TS]

  and they come in they're they're like [TS]

  hey I came to the party and I got a bag [TS]

  of bagels and you open it up and you [TS]

  realize that they got onion bagels [TS]

  it's like why are you going to pollute [TS]

  this bag of bagels with these dumb onion [TS]

  bagels like onion bagel should be [TS]

  sequestered to another part of the store [TS]

  onion bagel should come in their own bag [TS]

  and I don't want onion bone on on my [TS]

  beef in check i think yeah [TS]

  huggins onion bagel should be like a jet [TS]

  magazine if you go to want to go enjoy [TS]

  that by yourself that's fine but don't [TS]

  bring it to the conference room because [TS]

  a nobody likes a fucking on your bagel & [TS]

  B it's gonna stink up the room and the [TS]

  bag and it's going to screw up the bagel [TS]

  experience for everybody that's right [TS]

  don't sit on an airplane [TS]

  oh god Reed fhm magazine food you know [TS]

  what I'm saying they see how much longer [TS]

  need ya to America softcore yes for His [TS]

  Majesty's pleasure magazine but i do not [TS]

  want to see a guy fucking hot [TS]

  masturbation [TS]

  yeah what reading one of those like [TS]

  magazines that is ostensibly about [TS]

  stereo equipment and men's fashion but [TS]

  it's really about like jacking off to [TS]

  Carmen Electra who that's not a thing i [TS]

  want to see if you're if you're on an [TS]

  airplane [TS]

  you should you should be required by law [TS]

  to have either a copy of Vanity Fair [TS]

  which is a magazine I do not subscribe [TS]

  to because I feel like giving like to [TS]

  existentially are you don't have come to [TS]

  think I I feel like vanity fair vanity [TS]

  fair although that this is the problem [TS]

  every if every issue of vanity fair has [TS]

  one article in [TS]

  i sent you 1i know you're an article in [TS]

  it i did one article in it that is [TS]

  really interesting to me and I really [TS]

  really want to read it and then white [TS]

  people parties but that's the prop the [TS]

  rest of the magazine like promulgates [TS]

  this middlebrow concept of what high [TS]

  class is all it's like the Olive Garden [TS]

  of a periodic it absolutely is it it it [TS]

  perpetuates this tommy hilfiger ization [TS]

  of america where like the cheapest [TS]

  version of the Hamptons is is like [TS]

  smeared like government mayonnaise [TS]

  like-like-like government margarine [TS]

  across America and people are like [TS]

  that's what I aspire to [TS]

  I aspire to have no taste I aspire to be [TS]

  a person who I'd aspired to be a nouveau [TS]

  riche person who thinks that uh you know [TS]

  who thinks that an interest in the [TS]

  Kennedys constitutes being like a cup a [TS]

  problem person of cultures are calling [TS]

  yourself a Civil War buff [TS]

  oh my god Civil War buff who that should [TS]

  that should be somebody shine she's I I [TS]

  am I i have a pair of cream-colored [TS]

  calfskin clubs waiting to slap anyone [TS]

  across the face who calls themselves a [TS]

  Civil War buff because there's so many [TS]

  of them just because Civil War buff is [TS]

  not a thing [TS]

  ok it is not a thing that you should [TS]

  describe yourself military intelligence [TS]

  you should say you should say you should [TS]

  say so many things before you get to [TS]

  Civil War buff that you just never get [TS]

  to Civil War buff which is saying thighs [TS]

  easiest or scholar is it the Civil War [TS]

  parts just too easy anymore i would say [TS]

  cause player i am becoming more and more [TS]

  I'm becoming more and more enamored with [TS]

  this cosplay need to hit this cosplay [TS]

  thing that's happening across America [TS]

  talk about the comics problem and I'm [TS]

  realizing that cosplay is this over this [TS]

  this umbrella definition that basically [TS]

  is like thirty percent of americans are [TS]

  just cause playing [TS]

  at any given haha oh you're taking it [TS]

  you're taking it broader than some manga [TS]

  character I've never heard of your [TS]

  saying that this it's a costume drama a [TS]

  national scale when I walk into a [TS]

  downtown office building now I stand in [TS]

  the lobby and I watched people come and [TS]

  go and I'm like fully half these people [TS]

  are cosplaying there cause playing gray [TS]

  flannel business people and it's like [TS]

  I'm getting sir I'm glad I'm spending a [TS]

  lot more time downtown lately now that [TS]

  I'm now that cosplay is that idea in my [TS]

  head I think you could definitely travel [TS]

  back to 1978 and rolling joints on a van [TS]

  Halen album and that remark would really [TS]

  blow people out of the room I feel like [TS]

  something like there's a costume made it [TS]

  is see these guys in building away [TS]

  listen man suit is just a modern suit of [TS]

  armor except it's not protecting you [TS]

  against sources say brie brooks brothers [TS]

  chainmail yeah it's protecting you [TS]

  against sign how do I know that you see [TS]

  the same green and I see if i have time [TS]

  travel back to nineteen seventy-eight I [TS]

  would have no trouble establishing my [TS]

  credibility go raisin Mike Anthony could [TS]

  go right to mike anthony and say Bob war [TS]

  waa and you would say I'm the ghost of [TS]

  jack daniel's face future don't do that [TS]

  douchebag thing we plan open a and pump [TS]

  your phys do that you know you know what [TS]

  I do I walk into the first head shop and [TS]

  i would say ready dudes ready ice in [TS]

  your bomb 0247 drop city did [TS]

  ah mind blown and everybody like what [TS]

  what what did he just say ice in the [TS]

  barn and there be a guy already running [TS]

  out the door to the nearest 7-11 to get [TS]

  a bag of ice [TS]

  that's right nobody thought of that [TS]

  before that was not invented until the [TS]

  early eighties don't want that meat [TS]

  there's never historically i added this [TS]

  on Wikipedia but there's never [TS]

  historically been a group is open to [TS]

  improvement opportunities as people in [TS]

  the seventies who did too many drugs [TS]

  that's exactly right [TS]

  thank you well don't know now in in 1978 [TS]

  did they have 64 ounce bottles of Pop [TS]

  well but you have you had to go out and [TS]

  buy with it before 60 now [TS]

  bottles right but they have played in [TS]

  that plastic bottles popular no I think [TS]

  there may have been too especially from [TS]

  kentucky fried chicken and you might [TS]

  have been able to get two liter bottle [TS]

  in my case we have returnable glass [TS]

  bottles like a fucking gentleman and you [TS]

  go out and get an eight pack of 16 ounce [TS]

  coke bottles not to answer your question [TS]

  no I don't think they did well so so [TS]

  that means that the two-liter bottle [TS]

  with the bottom cut off used as a hash [TS]

  bong where you fill the you fill the [TS]

  bottle up with so are you very familiar [TS]

  with this technology I think the thing [TS]

  where you light it under a glass and [TS]

  then suck out the smoke from at the [TS]

  glass you take a two-liter pop bottle [TS]

  you cut the bottom off of it you know [TS]

  just when you push in a bathtub [TS]

  yeah you submerge it in water yeah then [TS]

  you put a bowl on top of it like a bowl [TS]

  made out of tin foil that you've you [TS]

  poke little holes in you put a big block [TS]

  of hash on the top you light it and then [TS]

  you pull the bottle up out of the water [TS]

  creating suction science fills the [TS]

  bottle full of super intense dope smoke [TS]

  and then you put your mouth over you [TS]

  take the bowl of you put your mouth over [TS]

  the top of the bottle and you push it [TS]

  down into the water and it hyper in [TS]

  Pelzer all this dope smoke into your [TS]

  lungs and then you are big to put ice in [TS]

  the water you could i never thought i'll [TS]

  just now [TS]

  no one in no one had invented that in [TS]

  1978 you could be a god among men you [TS]

  get you get so much free weed because [TS]

  you would be like the Johnny Appleseed [TS]

  of weed technology [TS]

  yeah the problem of course is that I [TS]

  don't smoke pot anymore that you would [TS]

  have then I would have but I me now [TS]

  going back then I'm not gonna go back [TS]

  and I'm not going to go to necessarily i [TS]

  teach you about multiverses i guess i [TS]

  don't know you get my other idea i'll [TS]

  get back to potato cakes in a minute but [TS]

  my other idea that I'm already thinking [TS]

  is is defeating the purpose would be if [TS]

  once you see that matter once you've [TS]

  talked them into the fact that you're a [TS]

  time traveler you get a photo of you and [TS]

  that person standing there Jeanne Jeanne [TS]

  Lee holding next week's newspaper that's [TS]

  gonna be hard to do on day one the I [TS]

  think it should focus on the blue plate [TS]

  special to start out and get some decent [TS]

  shoes right [TS]

  but anyway you know what it is boring [TS]

  but that's the kind of thing I think [TS]

  about yeah unfortunately it is me too [TS]

  and I hope that our listeners also like [TS]

  to think about that stuff because we [TS]

  just talked about it for an hour [TS]

  yeah i went to the i went to the filson [TS]

  story yesterday [TS]

  oh that's the waxy pant place actually [TS]

  pans and I had the most amazing [TS]

  experience [TS]

  I'm still trying to parse because it is [TS]

  a little bit of a time traveler [TS]

  experience i went into the filson store [TS]

  where I know a guy I i have a friend who [TS]

  works there and I walk in and he says [TS]

  your name came up yesterday [TS]

  there's a guy who works here at the [TS]

  store who is like the institutional [TS]

  memory of Wilson he's been working here [TS]

  for 15 years he knows everything about [TS]

  filson you can you can show this guy [TS]

  filson garment that was made any time in [TS]

  the last hundred years and he can tell [TS]

  you when it was made it can we can we [TS]

  can we can ID any feel something but he [TS]

  also knows all the history all the [TS]

  legends and I said tell me more this guy [TS]

  seems very interesting to me and my [TS]

  friend said well he claims to know you [TS]

  and I'm like to tell me more [TS]

  and he says he claims to have worked at [TS]

  a pizza parlor with you 20 years ago and [TS]

  I did work at a pizza parlor 20 years [TS]

  ago it was a pizza parlor where like [TS]

  your story about pizza we used to make [TS]

  the sauce in a 50 gallon garbage can [TS]

  with a boat paddle like literally a [TS]

  canoe paddle this is a halogen pizza for [TS]

  those of you in the northwest if you [TS]

  want to know how we make the sauce [TS]

  apology is in the government again is [TS]

  crying at the crying class grants kind [TS]

  you paddle [TS]

  yeah it's the crime clown with the with [TS]

  the pointy hat stirring sauce in a guy [TS]

  its sleep tight [TS]

  haha oh no so anyway I'm standing here [TS]

  in the store and my friend runs into the [TS]

  back and he brings this guy out [TS]

  and this guy is he's bald and he has a [TS]

  great beard and if I passed him on the [TS]

  street I wouldn't recognize him but when [TS]

  I look in his eyes I I realized this is [TS]

  a guy i know i knew him 20 years ago I [TS]

  recognize him he was like a a young mod [TS]

  at the time he is actually the guy who [TS]

  and introduced me to my bloody valentine [TS]

  this kid though when he was 20 and I was [TS]

  22 or something like that and now he's [TS]

  standing in front of me dressed [TS]

  head-to-toe in like filson wall and wax [TS]

  canvas and he is gray and and and and [TS]

  bald but he is he is this kid now we see [TS]

  it in his eyes is easy carriage these [TS]

  are in yeah and so he comes out and we [TS]

  look at each other it's like oh my god [TS]

  hello like I haven't seen you in 20 [TS]

  years and all the staff of Phil sins [TS]

  like it's kinda late in the day they're [TS]

  not very many customers all the staff [TS]

  filson starts gathering around us and [TS]

  this kid this guy who is the [TS]

  institutional memory of filson he turns [TS]

  to his employees are all these people [TS]

  around him and he says the first filson [TS]

  garment I ever saw or was ever aware of [TS]

  John Roderick showed me in 1992 he was [TS]

  wearing a jacket and he and I were [TS]

  hanging out and I said what kind of [TS]

  jacket is that is that a Pendleton and [TS]

  john looked at me like I was stupid and [TS]

  said you don't know about filson what [TS]

  are you some fucking kind of idiot that [TS]

  sounds cute and then he proceeded to [TS]

  explain to me what filson was and one [TS]

  year later I got a job here and I've [TS]

  been working here ever sent you changed [TS]

  his life like he literally change his [TS]

  life and then he said and then I became [TS]

  an Alaskan adventure guide and now I [TS]

  spend four months a year in Alaska [TS]

  guiding people in the backcountry and [TS]

  the rest of the year here at filson [TS]

  like self so he's out he's out there now [TS]

  and like in the shit [TS]

  testing that stuff out he's in the ship [TS]

  and has been for several sense and so [TS]

  I'm standing there in this weird like [TS]

  time warp vortex where this this guy is [TS]

  telling me that a lot of the information [TS]

  that he has which he is the only [TS]

  repository of the legend of filson and [TS]

  all this knowledge of filson gear that [TS]

  because filson was sold some time in the [TS]

  in 2005 sold to a group of investors [TS]

  headed by some douche bag from Ralph [TS]

  Lorenz who tried to turn it into like a [TS]

  national brand and they fired all the [TS]

  old people just trying to like like at [TS]

  are like REI north face off is exactly [TS]

  they tried to north face of fire they [TS]

  tried to offshore the construction of [TS]

  stuff to China all the stuff that was [TS]

  terrible and then someone came in bought [TS]

  filson back from them re-established [TS]

  that they were making all that equipment [TS]

  in seattle again they have lab [TS]

  manufacturing plant in the back of the [TS]

  store where they make all that shit [TS]

  right there and this kid is one this [TS]

  this guy this friend of mine is like one [TS]

  of the only survivors who was there [TS]

  through the whole thing she is he he is [TS]

  the source of the knowledge that makes [TS]

  filson what it is today and he only [TS]

  knows about filter because 20 years ago [TS]

  I made him feel like a dumb ass for not [TS]

  knowing what the brand of the jacket I [TS]

  was wearing which was up which was [TS]

  already a twenty-year-old jacket that I [TS]

  you know that I was wearing as a kind of [TS]

  like well whatever i have whatever my [TS]

  trip is but so so I was in this like [TS]

  weird like what if I never existed [TS]

  what if I didn't you know like now I'm [TS]

  buying filson gear now I'm worshipping [TS]

  this this the last brand that is being [TS]

  made right and yet [TS]

  like right now I feel like I'm i somehow [TS]

  i played a I played a shaping role in [TS]

  the fact that it even exists like it [TS]

  does now and and then I went home and I [TS]

  and I am I played with myself [TS]

  John before I knew you I had a copy of [TS]

  your first record album and it's clear [TS]

  from the many letters that people who [TS]

  sent you [TS]

  was it that John your uh your was your [TS]

  first class bullshitter that you've [TS]

  ruined a lot of people's lives [TS]

  let me ask you this and clearly you've [TS]

  made your peace with that or not but [TS]

  here's the thing like does it occur to [TS]

  you the influence that you may have on a [TS]

  people in a given day because that [TS]

  that's freaky me like if I started [TS]

  thinking about that a lot playing with [TS]

  myself or otherwise that freaks me out a [TS]

  little bit to think about again pick you [TS]

  know Peter Schaffer moments not together [TS]

  like magnets [TS]

  you don't know you don't know who you're [TS]

  going to influence and he certainly [TS]

  didn't wake up in whatever 1991 thinking [TS]

  I'm gonna make somebody feel bad about [TS]

  my jacket and now he's in Alaska [TS]

  yeah it's not kind of its physical not [TS]

  responsibility what's that crazy [TS]

  butterfly effect that it's true of every [TS]

  single person in the world you cannot [TS]

  know how that little encounter on the [TS]

  bus may transform the world and that [TS]

  person is like that guy who looked at my [TS]

  shoes like I i might i'd probably told [TS]

  you this story that guy on the subway [TS]

  where I was so enamored with his court [TS]

  of on boots and he's this isn't like a [TS]

  middle-aged black guy who's like dressed [TS]

  in he's a piece of working-class guy but [TS]

  he's wearing these boots these work [TS]

  boots they're the most gorgeous things [TS]

  I've ever seen in my life and I'm [TS]

  sitting across from him and I'm staring [TS]

  at his boots and he's just kind of you [TS]

  know he's like a 60 year old guy he's [TS]

  just he's just riding the subway back [TS]

  and forth to work but i can see in these [TS]

  boots [TS]

  pick that he has cared he cares about [TS]

  these boots and i'm looking at them and [TS]

  I'm going ok I don't think I've ever [TS]

  seen a thing as fucking foxy as these [TS]

  god damn boots and I can't stop looking [TS]

  at him and then I look up and he sees [TS]

  that I'm looking at his boots and I give [TS]

  him a little like like I i can't i can't [TS]

  keep his gaze i'm so i'm so in all of [TS]

  what these boots are saying about this [TS]

  guy that the kick the meticulous care [TS]

  that he has put into the these boots [TS]

  which he has clearly pad for 28 years [TS]

  and and and he looks at me and he and I [TS]

  any Scottish peace [TS]

  he's so kind in his eyes and I look away [TS]

  like it like it like a young girl and [TS]

  then I looked back at him and he's [TS]

  looking at me still and i looked out of [TS]

  his boots and I give him like this [TS]

  respectful nod like I see your boots I [TS]

  see them I mean you can tell though that [TS]

  he's t takes pride in these and you [TS]

  wouldn't just think you're creeping on [TS]

  the bus oh no he knows what's happening [TS]

  and he gives me an odd like a fucking [TS]

  Buddha and he goes that's right [TS]

  yes and I look away and I swear to you [TS]

  i'm blushing and I'm like this man knows [TS]

  things he knows more about things than i [TS]

  do and you can see it in these god damn [TS]

  boots and then we got to the next stop [TS]

  and I had to get off the subway [TS]

  I couldn't be on the car with him he was [TS]

  doing a mural is your favorite you lose [TS]

  your composure and I got off the got off [TS]

  the subway and I turned around and he [TS]

  was looking at me and I gave him a [TS]

  little bow and was just like i seed to [TS]

  you the subway car [TS]

  IC to you this train it idea i am not [TS]

  worthy to be on this train and the door [TS]

  closes and off he goes into the into the [TS]

  tunnel and the thing is I don't know [TS]

  what this guy does he's a he is a [TS]

  mechanic or something [TS]

  he works with his hands but someone saw [TS]

  him in the world and he knew it he knew [TS]

  that he had been seen and i do not know [TS]

  if he was used to being seen that way he [TS]

  works with some guys they know who he is [TS]

  he just travels the subway into most [TS]

  people's just a guy's just one more new [TS]

  york guy on the subway but I saw him and [TS]

  you know who knows whether he took that [TS]

  knowledge that now he had been [TS]

  recognized and he took that into that [TS]

  subway tunnel and onto the rest of his [TS]

  day and on to the rest of his life and I [TS]

  don't know what happens i don't know [TS]

  whether that is whether recognizing him [TS]

  in that way like activated his powers in [TS]

  a different light to mention that he [TS]

  gets that a lot [TS]

  no no no especially not New York as a [TS]

  shoe city so there's a lot of people who [TS]

  are pretty pleased with their shoes is [TS]

  that had not and i'm sure he I'm sure he [TS]

  gets people that are like oh nice boots [TS]

  but to recognize what to recognize that [TS]

  those boots were communicating something [TS]

  about him I don't I well I don't know [TS]

  i'm not sure i have never seen I have [TS]

  never seen a story of a man ripped in [TS]

  his boots like that one encounter where [TS]

  I was just like those are that is not a [TS]

  boot you can buy that is not a boot yet [TS]

  as a boot you have to make [TS]

  so that butterfly effect we're at its it [TS]

  can be so small I mean with this with [TS]

  this this kid I had no idea that he was [TS]

  so that that filson story and my sort of [TS]

  Alaskan a bravado combined at because i [TS]

  was only 22 that it combined at that [TS]

  time to be something that would make him [TS]

  a person like change the course of his [TS]

  life from being like a little mod rocker [TS]

  kid to becoming an Alaskan hunting guide [TS]

  you you have a moment like that on the [TS]

  subway where you're like I see you I [TS]

  know that you are bigger than you let on [TS]

  and then he gets he gets goes down the [TS]

  road and he's like wait a minute that [TS]

  kids right I'm bigger than I let on my [TS]

  finger [TS]

  I'm bigger I am recognizable the thing [TS]

  that the thing about me that is big is [TS]

  recognizable to people and the problem [TS]

  is that most people don't see it [TS]

  not that i'm not actually that big but [TS]

  he my team might have known that that [TS]

  they were cool and that they were maybe [TS]

  even unique but he maybe had [TS]

  internalized that he was the one who had [TS]

  the foot in those like that there was [TS]

  something bigger going on in Nice [TS]

  footwear but I mean he nodded at me like [TS]

  the fucking boot I swear to you he knows [TS]

  he knows it's just I'm not sure if he [TS]

  knows that that other people can see him [TS]

  uh-huh and that is a and i'm not even [TS]

  sure whether that is a good thing that I [TS]

  that I did by seeing him you know like [TS]

  maybe the awareness that he is visible [TS]

  to the to the world in that way maybe [TS]

  that is maybe that like was a ripple in [TS]

  the in the force something out but [TS]

  anyway I I choose not to think about it [TS]

  and I trust that man has the trust that [TS]

  he has the capacity that he is capable [TS]

  of going and using that power for good [TS]

  because he seemed like one of he seemed [TS]

  like a good wizard [TS]

  mm I bad but you I bet you've had this [TS]

  effect on on [TS]

  certainly on more people than just my [TS]

  the waterproof my bloody valentine guy i [TS]

  bet you bet you bet you've changed a lot [TS]

  of lives [TS]

  well she gave myself credit is what I'm [TS]

  saying my knowledge why bleh male orgasm [TS]

  has definitely changed people's lives he [TS]

  can't prove a negative it's it's good to [TS]

  know because I mean you're gonna save a [TS]

  lot of time and frustration and chasing [TS]

  you know what I mean you shouldn't you [TS]

  shouldn't you know go fracking where [TS]

  there's no gas [TS]

  yeah listen you don't have to reinvent [TS]

  the wheel we know how this is done I [TS]

  don't have orgasm so let's just settle [TS]

  down day-to-day role settle down [TS]

  everybody breathe easy will come outside [TS]

  easy there easy there you're feeling [TS]

  your oats now let's let's just let's [TS]

  just all think about what we've done [TS]

  let's lower the lights [TS]

  um I do i do feel like one of the things [TS]

  one of the powers that we can we can [TS]

  exercise with one another is that power [TS]

  of recognition when you see someone in [TS]

  the world and you see that they are [TS]

  taking great care about a certain aspect [TS]

  of themselves or you see that they are [TS]

  but that they are you know that they are [TS]

  interacting with the world in a way that [TS]

  is more profound then then other people [TS]

  are aware of in the small spaces that we [TS]

  you know that we share with one another [TS]

  when you see those things i have always [TS]

  felt an obligation to acknowledge them [TS]

  to the other person you know like I [TS]

  cannot pass somebody who is who has who [TS]

  has taken the time and energy to Taylor [TS]

  themselves or two or somebody who does a [TS]

  small kindness on the street that no one [TS]

  else notices or someone who just has a [TS]

  certain way of walking off the curb into [TS]

  the street with that is that is more [TS]

  elegant than the than the moment [TS]

  necessitated i pay i pay attention to [TS]

  those things overtly I will you know I [TS]

  spend more time on the street bowing to [TS]

  people and congratulating them [TS]

  and actually impede my progress through [TS]

  the city like it takes me an extra half [TS]

  an hour to get anywhere because when I [TS]

  see somebody who does something or as [TS]

  you know or even is just walking around [TS]

  and looking up at the second story of [TS]

  buildings and noticing the cornices if I [TS]

  see someone doing that I pay them the [TS]

  compliment of noticing it and [TS]

  compliment of noticing it and [TS]

  that is a thing we can all do more of [TS]

  mhm and just say like not only like nice [TS]

  shoes but like haha i see your shoes [TS]

  soon as I wish I i feel i think I never [TS]

  thought of it quite the way you're [TS]

  saying but I definitely feel the same [TS]

  way I mean there's sometimes when you [TS]

  see somebody you're like wow you know [TS]

  what you win today [TS]

  yeah like that you went to that you win [TS]

  today like you you are i wish i could [TS]

  say to like this African American lady [TS]

  who smells really cool and has a giant [TS]

  hat with feathers and has clearly has an [TS]

  extraordinary level of dignity and [TS]

  self-worth and carriage we just wanna go [TS]

  you know what you are so fucking cool [TS]

  and there's no way Adam there's not a [TS]

  great way to say that without sounding [TS]

  creepy i totally agree with you by [TS]

  sending a carriage there's some [TS]

  sometimes you just see the way somebody [TS]

  handles themselves where you know [TS]

  they're just in that Miles Davis says [TS]

  not you know that is black but I mean [TS]

  the cool and like the old sense of the [TS]

  word like their self dest and well this [TS]

  is what i have learned it in my life [TS]

  which is that no one doesn't appreciate [TS]

  being told that they look beautiful [TS]

  today who and it is the easiest [TS]

  compliment to pay and you can say it as [TS]

  you pass someone on the street like you [TS]

  look great today and then you just keep [TS]

  going there's nothing creepy about it no [TS]

  one doesn't like that like if you walk [TS]

  past a 70 year old man who is wearing a [TS]

  suit and walking with a cane and you say [TS]

  you look great today sir over that there [TS]

  is no there is no downside to that you [TS]

  know and the same is true about a 24 [TS]

  year old woman who looks great you can [TS]

  pay her that compliment and it is not it [TS]

  is this world that we're living in we're [TS]

  paying a woman a compliment on the [TS]

  street is some kind of objectifying [TS]

  colonialization of her is a crazy as a [TS]

  crazy upside-down the kind of shit i [TS]

  believe when i was 21 and it's [TS]

  absolutely not accurate [TS]

  yeah I'll take we will raise it whatwhat [TS]

  nobody likes is somebody who is [TS]

  breaching their perimeter and acting [TS]

  creepy and leering like nobody likes [TS]

  that mainly it done and what you're [TS]

  saying i totally agree that you're [TS]

  saying [TS]

  miley addendum [TS]

  is too well first of all stay in motion [TS]

  while you're doing it but I so on also [TS]

  bring some specificity to it like maybe [TS]

  if you say to that guy [TS]

  sir that suit is impeccable yes is one [TS]

  thing or you can just say like DC like [TS]

  you pass that lady that 24 you're [TS]

  letting you know what your hair is [TS]

  awesome because there's nobody who has [TS]

  cool hair and is 24 that doesn't want [TS]

  you to go and you know what I'll do [TS]

  sometimes I will leave off the dependent [TS]

  clause or is it [TS]

  yeah independent clause of I i almost [TS]

  always hate tattoos but and i will say [TS]

  that is a really cool fucking tattoo [TS]

  uh-huh do you know what was that person [TS]

  one here the only here like oh that tues [TS]

  is that that's another tattoo good for [TS]

  you know I mean if somebody is taking [TS]

  the time to do something they appreciate [TS]

  being appreciated [TS]

  yeah that's right and it's and it's and [TS]

  it's a rare moment in the day where you [TS]

  can make it not about you for a second [TS]

  like you know they don't care what your [TS]

  feeling about tattoos is you can just [TS]

  say i love that tattoo your hair looks [TS]

  great you know like well thats maybe [TS]

  that's maybe part of the core of it is [TS]

  there's certainly some smoke some small [TS]

  part of it that is about you the [TS]

  compliment giver part of the problem [TS]

  with the leering and the creepy and in [TS]

  that stuff and getting into the spaces [TS]

  the specificity of you look like you [TS]

  have hard nipples like that's a little [TS]

  too specific but like if the combat [TS]

  compliment is really all about you that [TS]

  giver and you know because this one guy [TS]

  my neighborhood who I hope dies with [TS]

  fire and he just walks around and he's [TS]

  just I want to hate this guy so much he [TS]

  just walks around one AD can i buy you [TS]

  dinner tonight [TS]

  oh yeah it's like understand you want me [TS]

  to suck your cock that's hilarious [TS]

  it's the david cross thing you know if [TS]

  you asked a hundred women maybe one of [TS]

  them is going to want to fuck on a pilot [TS]

  rash [TS]

  let's go the lottery okay but the thing [TS]

  is a eight and you know and there's this [TS]

  definition of love it's a little fruity [TS]

  but one definition of love i think is [TS]

  nice is that you care more about the [TS]

  happiness and Welfare of someone else do [TS]

  you do about your own I think that [TS]

  applies to compliments to and the thing [TS]

  is if that complement is tendered uh [TS]

  with dignity and honesty and enthusiasm [TS]

  and then you fucking move on i don't i [TS]

  don't think there's a world in which [TS]

  somebody doesn't appreciate you know [TS]

  what if that person let's be honest as [TS]

  cool as they might be if they don't [TS]

  appreciate that fuck them [TS]

  that's their problem and it's not and [TS]

  you don't even have to carry it with you [TS]

  because you're already down the street [TS]

  I mean I will say that everyone smile I [TS]

  stop and say madam [TS]

  yeah your d├ęcolletage is raising a [TS]

  volcanic feeling in my in the in the [TS]

  mountain of a man but i am madame masque [TS]

  it was candor your first year first [TS]

  through third petticoats left be non [TS]

  plus [TS]

  and then i said goodnight have left me [TS]

  rigid and curious are you familiar with [TS]

  the female orgasm is it a thing that you [TS]

  have experienced firsthand is that just [TS]

  felt up it is now doom all dignity man [TS]

  fucking dignity it's in short supply [TS]

  because the problem is i just had this [TS]

  this has to do with it everything we're [TS]

  talking about your everything that's [TS]

  important if these misunderstandings [TS]

  about things that are are they seem like [TS]

  shades of grey but they really aren't [TS]

  dignity is not the same thing as being [TS]

  stuck-up dignity is not the same thing [TS]

  as conceit no it isn't an option right [TS]

  and I mean absolutely I've i have seen [TS]

  all kinds of people of different classes [TS]

  you know the thing is a lot of people [TS]

  who are rich have historical dignity and [TS]

  they've never had their ass well and [TS]

  truly kicked right some-some it's easy [TS]

  to have dignity if you've never known a [TS]

  faceplant but there are a lot of people [TS]

  who by virtue of the fact of having been [TS]

  through so many face-plants have a kind [TS]

  of quiet dignity and you could feel it [TS]

  in a room with somebody like that walks [TS]

  in you could beat the fucking DMV and [TS]

  you see somebody who might be like a [TS]

  tubercular Mexican man but like you're [TS]

  like you know what [TS]

  look at the way that carries himself [TS]

  there's no way on my best healthy day [TS]

  that I could carry myself that well and [TS]

  you feel it in the room [TS]

  yeah I honestly I honestly believe that [TS]

  I think dignity as undignified as i may [TS]

  seem sometimes I really honor it and [TS]

  other people i would like to seek it out [TS]

  and myself and get something that we've [TS]

  lost because it feels stancy there is so [TS]

  much we've lost because it feels fancy [TS]

  and I was thinking about this the other [TS]

  day she's we live in a culture now where [TS]

  we we have spent so much time feeling [TS]

  that we have spent so much time at [TS]

  saying to ourselves over and over that [TS]

  narcissism is a is like this loving of [TS]

  oneself that is unbecoming and so all of [TS]

  our narcissism as a culture is directed [TS]

  at hating ourselves and we think that [TS]

  like it makes it more authentic [TS]

  yeah that because we hate ourselves [TS]

  somehow the fact that we are still [TS]

  spending all day long hate thinking only [TS]

  about ourselves somehow it's not [TS]

  narcissistic because it's because it is [TS]

  directed it into this blackness [TS]

  oh and I mean let's go back to the [TS]

  Greeks let's go back to our system [TS]

  doesn't matter what the emotion is if [TS]

  it's an inward turning emotion that you [TS]

  are turning over in your mind for its [TS]

  own sake whether you love or hate [TS]

  yourself if you're obsessed about that [TS]

  you're a narcissist right and so frankly [TS]

  of the two having lived in a culture [TS]

  here in the northwest where for 10 years [TS]

  hating oneself was was basically the [TS]

  only rear the only creative reaction you [TS]

  could have to the world are the only [TS]

  acceptable creative reaction you could [TS]

  have to the world was hating yourself [TS]

  and realizing like you know one of the [TS]

  two I would much rather people walk [TS]

  around if they're going to be thinking [TS]

  about themselves all the time when I [TS]

  love themselves you know I mean and [TS]

  frankly I think the route to thinking [TS]

  about other people comes through loving [TS]

  yourself rather than hating yourself and [TS]

  I've watched so many people artists and [TS]

  otherwise who go down this death spiral [TS]

  of self-hate where they become the most [TS]

  narcissistic the least like lovable the [TS]

  least likable the least useful people [TS]

  over because they are consumed with [TS]

  their with their own failings and I you [TS]

  know I'm guilty of this myself who you [TS]

  know i would add this area and I think [TS]

  it changes with generations and this new [TS]

  generation one of the one of the reasons [TS]

  that people our age is so mad that [TS]

  people our age are so mad at at at 21 [TS]

  year olds is that they seem to be having [TS]

  fun a lot of them [TS]

  and you know it's a generation that [TS]

  maybe is going to turn the tide and be [TS]

  frivolous and be honest aqui [TS]

  but I feel like that is as that's as [TS]

  valid a valid form of of like a [TS]

  self-obsession is as any of the grunge [TS]

  era boohoo and I really do [TS]

  I mean what could also what could be [TS]

  maybe we're both guilty this right now [TS]

  but what could be more narcissistic than [TS]

  criticizing someone for not hating [TS]

  themselves in the same way that you do [TS]

  mmm the one does you know what I mean [TS]

  and that's why I think punk rock is [TS]

  bullshit [TS]

  hmm i'm not gonna write that down you're [TS]

  not going to write your ear have an [TS]

  opportunity to write punk rock is [TS]

  bullshit on a three-by-five cards right [TS]

  now and then give that give that over [TS]

  the Internet to some fan and you're not [TS]

  going to deprive them of that L s.h.i.t [TS]

  got it on LS HIV no that was me [TS]

  pretending like i was finishing writing [TS]

  that town-hall i see hmm but that was [TS]

  like a new apprenticeship like it here [TS]

  said it'd be just be here is my slight [TS]

  addendum to that I agree with you but [TS]

  here's my slight addendum to that is [TS]

  that loving yourself and accepting [TS]

  yourself are far from being the same [TS]

  thing because there are a lot of people [TS]

  who really fucking love themselves to [TS]

  the point of wanting to cry how much [TS]

  they love themselves but they haven't [TS]

  ever really accepted themselves and as [TS]

  Morsi has told us [TS]

  ah why don't you accept why can't you [TS]

  accept yourself like you more than [TS]

  accept them so it's time the tail were [TS]

  told of how you took a child and you [TS]

  made him old you made a mold you made [TS]

  him old Johnny drop back last night i [TS]

  fell out of bed twice you know you know [TS]

  please you're the bee's knees [TS]

  everyone was right and what was your [TS]

  friend in New York City as it fills in [TS]

  yesterday and one of the things that [TS]

  this guy this friend of mine who is the [TS]

  potential institutional memory of pills [TS]

  and said is he said not very long ago [TS]

  Johnny Mark Hyman shot up Johnny [TS]

  marketing and he bought two thousand [TS]

  dollars worth of filson clothes [TS]

  notwithstanding your feelings on the [TS]

  smiths Johnny Marr unbelievable fucking [TS]

  Suey fucking generous the Western man [TS]

  place and now I know he's walking around [TS]

  somewhere wherever that is this [TS]

  waterproof is completely waterproof does [TS]

  he live in Manchester [TS]

  uh yeah I call it bad Chester matches he [TS]

  probably he probably lives in New York [TS]

  where I don't think probably I think it [TS]

  was living in Portland for a while [TS]

  because he was in modest mouse [TS]

  yeah well used to play Billy Bragg to [TS]

  he's done a lot of work he was trying to [TS]

  hate on your part that Rick what you got [TS]

  a 330 what is that [TS]

  that's right you ever put the 330 and [TS]

  try to play his parts Johnny Marr I mean [TS]

  I know you're a really good guitar [TS]

  player I mean I still don't understand [TS]

  how you play shapes especially live but [TS]

  your transplant Johnny Marr part it's a [TS]

  lot more complicated than it seems [TS]

  it's very complicated he's like not the [TS]

  anti p Townsend but he's playing he's [TS]

  covering a lot of ground with some crazy [TS]

  picking and open strings and like just [TS]

  play the beginning of this charming man [TS]

  and try to make it sound right [TS]

  yeah he will not see what happens yep [TS]

  it's the peter buck it's the Peter Buck [TS]

  method of like I'm not doing anything [TS]

  but I i'm actually doing everything [TS]

  yeah yeah was I watching i was i was [TS]

  watching [TS]

  oh yeah Big B Springsteen fan right not [TS]

  really you're gonna you you're getting [TS]

  me in trouble with them are listening [TS]

  public eye but I was what I did you know [TS]

  the heat burns does that mean that he [TS]

  shreds a Bruce yeah a bruiser is one of [TS]

  those guys my understanding of him is [TS]

  that he's not like a technical you know [TS]

  yeah but I'm you closely to the cleaner [TS]

  than Jimmy Page and he can do maybe not [TS]

  print style but he can do some serious [TS]

  pull offs and bends and shit when you [TS]

  want to [TS]

  he approached becoming a rock musician [TS]

  with a single-minded sense of purpose [TS]

  just like the Ben Franklin of working [TS]

  man rock he knew where he was going [TS]

  mm don't you think mmm so-and-so so the [TS]

  the holocaust of working man rock that [TS]

  we live in now is a product of bruce [TS]

  springsteen i do agree with that one of [TS]

  the Holocaust people who write perform [TS]

  their own songs as the Holocaust Bob [TS]

  Dylan much Bob Bob Dylan Bob Dylan Joni [TS]

  Mitchell the beatles and young are be [TS]

  amazing and a responsible for so much [TS]

  shitty music degree [TS]

  before writers of the apartment buffy [TS]

  sainte-marie maybe John by as but [TS]

  definitely Joni Mitchell do you realize [TS]

  how many shitty trilling folk songs have [TS]

  come out do I realize you realize i live [TS]

  in I live in constant fear that i'm [TS]

  gonna walk out the door and some woman [TS]

  with blond hair is gonna go well [TS]

  speaking of which do you realize can you [TS]

  imagine how many shitty bands started [TS]

  because of my bloody valentine can you [TS]

  imagine i have i have stood at the foot [TS]

  of the stage and watched dozens of bad [TS]

  of shitty bands that that started well I [TS]

  does begin called i turn off your pedals [TS]

  and see what you sound like a story [TS]

  about the time I came in to audition for [TS]

  the Western State hurricane now he came [TS]

  in and he was like you know I think you [TS]

  guys are amazing i think you need [TS]

  another guitar player this circuit 97-98 [TS]

  yeah somewhere around there he came in [TS]

  and he he had this really cool les paul [TS]

  he was very cool-looking dude super cool [TS]

  kid and he set up his amp and it is [TS]

  Carrie and he had a ac30 was so cool and [TS]

  and then he starts setting up his pedals [TS]

  and he sets up these pedals in this [TS]

  semi-circle around himself and I'm [TS]

  sitting I'm standing there and I have [TS]

  one you have one petal I have a rap [TS]

  battle [TS]

  your arms are folded your seating you're [TS]

  just waiting I'm just when I'm standing [TS]

  but I'm standing there with my [TS]

  rickenbacker my rat pedal and i'm [TS]

  watching as the pages here that's a [TS]

  chunk to calc as your plugs impact [TS]

  cables and you know it and the and every [TS]

  one of them has a non volt battery and [TS]

  he sets up this semi circle of petals [TS]

  around himself that is that is [TS]

  three-quarters of a circle around him is [TS]

  something like 24 way they're not on the [TS]

  board [TS]

  they're not on a blog and each one of [TS]

  them individually in a semi-circle [TS]

  perfect like he and he keeps kind of [TS]

  adjusting the radius as he goes about [TS]

  this circle is paper great lunch i'm [TS]

  watching him and I'm like and it and I [TS]

  say you know so uh so that's a lot of [TS]

  pedals and he goes well you know every [TS]

  one of them does a different thing and I [TS]

  just use them i use a season to taste i [TS]

  use them as [TS]

  as colour and I'm thinking wow you know [TS]

  this was at a time when I never touched [TS]

  the volume or tone knob on my guitar for [TS]

  any other purpose then then compulsively [TS]

  to make sure they were turned all the [TS]

  way we're like not feeding back [TS]

  no no I never adjusted those knobs in [TS]

  any way other than to have make sure [TS]

  they were turned all the way up and at a [TS]

  certain point I realized that I was so [TS]

  compulsive about touching these knobs to [TS]

  make sure they were all the way up but i [TS]

  just put duct tape across all of the [TS]

  knobs on my guitar so that I couldn't [TS]

  touch them and they were just always I [TS]

  never made any adjustments of any kind [TS]

  to any of my gear I just set all of it [TS]

  on 11 and Ben flu you know and so I'm [TS]

  thinking to myself maybe this is what [TS]

  maybe this guy's one of these guys that [TS]

  knows how pedals work that knows how [TS]

  knobs work and he's the reason he has [TS]

  for delay pedals is that every one of [TS]

  them is set to a different thing maybe [TS]

  this maybe this guy's the head [TS]

  I just thinking maybe it's the edge and [TS]

  he's going to pull out something I've [TS]

  never heard before [TS]

  yeah and so we start playing and the [TS]

  first song we play is unsalted butter [TS]

  western state hurricanes version not [TS]

  long winters version western state [TS]

  version was was more rock and roll but [TS]

  still like bow no don't it's like it's [TS]

  like a tune with a bow bouncing little [TS]

  melody and this guy starts to play the [TS]

  rhythm part and within 45 seconds he has [TS]

  found a reason to turn every petal on [TS]

  it's got the flanger and he's going Wow [TS]

  and so we get to the end of the song is [TS]

  just ripping my face often we get this [TS]

  on I was like well that shit this thing [TS]

  and it that's why don't we move on and [TS]

  we'll we'll try something that's a [TS]

  little bit you know a little bit softer [TS]

  a little bit more melodic this is gotta [TS]

  sort of more about like a it's more a [TS]

  cleaner tone he's like okay great great [TS]

  cool and we start playing you know some [TS]

  we start playing [TS]

  through with love or whatever some song [TS]

  that's like that's got a pretty pretty [TS]

  bouncy beat and it's very cordial and [TS]

  within 45 seconds he's just all and the [TS]

  entire rehearsal was like this he just [TS]

  he season to taste and by season to [TS]

  taste he meant all 21 pedals on at all [TS]

  times but at the end of every song he [TS]

  turned everyone of a month like somehow [TS]

  it's about choc chocolate touch the [TS]

  launchpad of like starting the tune and [TS]

  then hitting each pedal bum like that [TS]

  was his tone was like I don't I really [TS]

  don't think that this is what what is [TS]

  that the obvious reason you already know [TS]

  why I'm asking this they didn't have a [TS]

  board was the first of all it sounds [TS]

  like he's in his mom's basement where he [TS]

  has a lot of control over what he does [TS]

  if he had done that a lot and it played [TS]

  a lot of live shows with that shit he [TS]

  would have a board but also in my head [TS]

  I'm thinking this is 11 points of [TS]

  failure [TS]

  yeah because I mean I i mean i guess you [TS]

  know when i played with pedals in the [TS]

  past maybe I'm old and this technology [TS]

  has improved but there were some things [TS]

  where like if that battery died you lost [TS]

  the signal [TS]

  yeah it was it wasn't just that your [TS]

  face shifter wasn't as good you had you [TS]

  i mean if it was if it went out and did [TS]

  not take this rig on the road it would [TS]

  be impossible [TS]

  I mean if you're okay so if you're [TS]

  Charles bissell who by the way who's [TS]

  they might be giants cover of the [TS]

  endocrine is pretty great but if you're [TS]

  if you're coming boy literally best [TS]

  nickname pedal boy trusted friends like [TS]

  a you you know he does magic with that [TS]

  stuff what he does is very very unusual [TS]

  it doesn't you think I mean I know it's [TS]

  not everybody's taste they want to [TS]

  personally my favorite bands but I mean [TS]

  here's the thing about Charles and you [TS]

  know this from firsthand experience and [TS]

  Charles has a Stratocaster plug directly [TS]

  into a fender twin he makes it sound [TS]

  incredible [TS]

  he's a guitar teacher and he plays like [TS]

  one his playing is impeccable and he [TS]

  does shit that I would never tell [TS]

  anybody in their first five years of [TS]

  guitar playing what if i told you to do [TS]

  that thing we go hog across above the [TS]

  neck [TS]

  yeah like you don't want to do that [TS]

  Charles and Eddie Van Halen nobody else [TS]

  is allowed to do that ever [TS]

  well I do it sometimes when I'm really [TS]

  you know when i'm really 14 your glasses [TS]

  fall off again or I'm really the rusting [TS]

  or that time trusting my pants zipper at [TS]

  the people who probably video of their [TS]

  hurricanes on that TV show when you [TS]

  couldn't go huh yeah and man is that was [TS]

  it was it like that when you guys were [TS]

  always play like was nor was the [TS]

  chuckles all right [TS]

  yah my glasses would fly across the [TS]

  stage or something and-and-and toward [TS]

  the last for the end of the rest and [TS]

  hurricanes run we start we get halfway [TS]

  through Nora and and everybody else in [TS]

  the band would like go to the outside [TS]

  edge of the stage and kind of cower [TS]

  behind their amps because they knew that [TS]

  I was about kind of cycle devil dogs [TS]

  were in the pots that was at a time when [TS]

  I was I had stopped drinking and doing [TS]

  drugs but i still had a tremendous [TS]

  kinetic energy inside me right that only [TS]

  came out in rock and roll and it came [TS]

  out as a kind of violent explosion of [TS]

  clothes like everything together [TS]

  sorry it's either naked gay [TS]

  [Music] [TS]