Roderick on the Line

Ep. 68: "The Opposite of Sherlock Holmes"


  hello H i hi Merlin has gone man i gotta [TS]

  live with that every week [TS]

  well which part well just the [TS]

  disappointment of knowing you deserve [TS]

  something better and I like to think of [TS]

  myself as a relatively productive person [TS]

  who should be able to make a note to [TS]

  come up with a good song for you [TS]

  well in my whole life I have been pretty [TS]

  a resistant to nicknames who people have [TS]

  always tried to nickname me [TS]

  mmm and it just doesn't stick like i am [TS]

  one of those people who is most mostly [TS]

  known as John Roderick both both both [TS]

  names you know what I mean like people [TS]

  just call me John Roderick yeah and I in [TS]

  college ave through nicknames at me [TS]

  every which way and and it just they all [TS]

  bounced off so i'm wondering whether [TS]

  it's the same with the music I can't be [TS]

  themed I have to imagine that when [TS]

  you're in college [TS]

  you did a lot of nickname friendly [TS]

  material [TS]

  yeah but everybody's always trying to [TS]

  like call me sasquatch ER or you know I [TS]

  mean red dog I got called rad dog that's [TS]

  completely unacceptable for a long time [TS]

  and now when actually kind of worked at [TS]

  the time because I was a rat dog [TS]

  you sound like something that would be [TS]

  like somebody who wants to be a surfer [TS]

  yeah but it was the eighties and yeah I [TS]

  was a skier and like rabid dog that was [TS]

  actually short for a rip-roaring ratdog [TS]

  radical rock and righteously rascal [TS]

  andrey friend Roderick it was a group of [TS]

  you and the reason it's the reason it [TS]

  actually took was that I was a junior [TS]

  and that name was bestowed on me by a [TS]

  bunch of seniors [TS]

  that seniors we would now regard as [TS]

  nerds but at the time i guess they were [TS]

  also nerds then but it wasn't like nerd [TS]

  wasn't cool [TS]

  exactly but they were a whole bunch of [TS]

  older guys and they started calling me [TS]

  this and they would say the whole thing [TS]

  every time [TS]

  ok it's ripping on Red Dog radical rock [TS]

  and righteously Rascal and refrain [TS]

  Roderick and I would you know I kind of [TS]

  had to accept it [TS]

  yeah you don't want to be you know I'm [TS]

  grateful i mean if people feel like you [TS]

  have characteristics that are worth [TS]

  turning into a really long asinine a man [TS]

  who you turn away especially from senior [TS]

  exactly especially from the senior so i [TS]

  think i'll be honest i see it is as very [TS]

  different things I am I like a nickname [TS]

  I like an ending for others [TS]

  I like it to be organic you don't need a [TS]

  nickname your name is Merlin Mann and [TS]

  nobody believes that it's so amazing [TS]

  that I if that was your nickname it [TS]

  would be the best nickname in the world [TS]

  and it's your actual name [TS]

  I'm you know what maybe I'm too close to [TS]

  it it seems like a pretty weird name [TS]

  it is a weird name but it is an amazing [TS]

  name [TS]

  I mean think about think about all the [TS]

  effort the parents our age are putting [TS]

  into giving their kids unique charming [TS]

  tweet little fucked up names [TS]

  yeah and your name is Merlin Mann no one [TS]

  can ever top it you can hit you can name [TS]

  your child [TS]

  bismarck von Smith and google and it the [TS]

  child would still have to like step [TS]

  aside to let Merlin man walking it's [TS]

  pretty good name [TS]

  now I want to find somebody for that [TS]

  well you know we've talked about this [TS]

  before but when I was a kid I really [TS]

  envied people like you name wise is with [TS]

  like John Bob well I mean yeah I e and a [TS]

  fever went through this but I mean I [TS]

  think we all go through times in our [TS]

  lives where I'm pretty much every level [TS]

  we want to be invisible or we want to be [TS]

  at least we want to blend in [TS]

  mm and the very first day of school you [TS]

  know they go through the roll call in [TS]

  alphabetical order and it's like you [TS]

  know and rental right in the middle and [TS]

  Jones you know far more filler Mark [TS]

  Miller oh no I guess Merlin working [TS]

  before [TS]

  hi Jason Craig and Matt Merlin Dean man [TS]

  third oh the kindergartner and me is [TS]

  laughing and it's a pause it otherwise I [TS]

  might as well have like a crazy indian [TS]

  name and no no the other kind you know i [TS]

  might as well be like you know shot [TS]

  great dips into Hep C or something right [TS]

  you know but you know and so but that's [TS]

  the first day you know everybody's [TS]

  nervous and everybody's looking for [TS]

  weaknesses and especially when I'd be [TS]

  like a new kid I would have killed for a [TS]

  Todd I mean Merlin is literally the [TS]

  magician yeah that's the one that's a [TS]

  lot to live up to you didn't turn to [TS]

  people and give and give me the hairy [TS]

  eyeball and and and scare him that you [TS]

  were going to turn them into a toad [TS]

  that's what I've done my sense is that [TS]

  there was not a lot of concern for that [TS]

  but I mean it would also sake now that's [TS]

  for now it's actually a James page you [TS]

  know it's actually Merline man you know [TS]

  yeah well good luck i remember there is [TS]

  an article you know in like the wacky [TS]

  news section in the mid-nineties about [TS]

  this poor bastard he was 10 years old [TS]

  named Bart Simpson [TS]

  oh you know i mean it could be worse [TS]

  think of all those it as those eight [TS]

  offs you know think about little boys [TS]

  named Eichmann as a first name [TS]

  yeah the little one of those on my [TS]

  playground well like meant like when [TS]

  Mary I'd been very like when II ah yeah [TS]

  okay so I got a lot of thoughts on this [TS]

  first of all I just have to say and this [TS]

  is this is why I carry around this shame [TS]

  and pull it out the suitcase whenever we [TS]

  record our program is Dave pics i just [TS]

  can't believe I haven't thought of [TS]

  haven't thought about it more because [TS]

  you're a musical person [TS]

  yeah you know what i like i like hot rod [TS]

  hotrod hot rod of all the nicknames that [TS]

  have ever been given me hot rod was the [TS]

  one that that that stuck the longest and [TS]

  that was that was just that was just my [TS]

  first email address again just like [TS]

  their local place there's a coffee shop [TS]

  and [TS]

  front for the right front for the drugs [TS]

  and the prostitutes and that the guy [TS]

  that owned it was like you neva you need [TS]

  an email address and i was like i don't [TS]

  know what that is and then he showed up [TS]

  one day with it written on a piece of [TS]

  paper you are hot rod at Capitol Hill [TS]

  dotnet tiny tiny acorns John isn't that [TS]

  cool [TS]

  it's amazing and i was like i guess i am [TS]

  this now and then the rest was history [TS]

  and without his name for you or is that [TS]

  something in Parliament you just made it [TS]

  up he was sitting there trying to think [TS]

  of a email address for me that he was [TS]

  because he he was he owned an internet [TS]

  cafĂ© he wanted me to be a patron who I [TS]

  did not understand what why I would have [TS]

  an email address or why I would ever go [TS]

  on the internet it seemed to me at the [TS]

  time it was all newsgroups out of child [TS]

  pornographers and magic the gathering [TS]

  I didn't even know what that was neither [TS]

  and then he showed up one day and and [TS]

  and had this thing written on a piece of [TS]

  paper and I did not know what any of [TS]

  that meant but I am I i wrote in the [TS]

  first email I ever wrote was to a guy [TS]

  named Eric Chamberlain who is still a [TS]

  friend of mine and he is a he is a [TS]

  prolific writer and a sort of a [TS]

  technology visionary type of person [TS]

  right and so he wrote me back within the [TS]

  hour talk about the antechamber dog [TS]

  antechamber dog i'm trying to cover the [TS]

  nickname form old antechamber dog that's [TS]

  what we call them with it with a w-4 dog [TS]

  um Scott pages long he wrote me back [TS]

  like it immediately like some kind of [TS]

  think piece on what it meant that we [TS]

  were emailing one another and I was like [TS]

  oh this is fun [TS]

  the ham radio exactly i wrote in like [TS]

  five pages basically like Benedict [TS]

  addicted are you receiving me [TS]

  that's all I did for a month yeah it was [TS]

  like having a walkie-talkie that went to [TS]

  England don't even remember who the [TS]

  second email i got i would have a friend [TS]

  at Oxford who guy went to school with [TS]

  had gone to school with who was at [TS]

  Oxford and I sent him an email message [TS]

  and then he replied inside of like five [TS]

  minutes which I have to say in [TS]

  retrospect is not a great powder for [TS]

  dealing with your email but having said [TS]

  that I [TS]

  have a nice plug yeah over the inbox [TS]

  zero guy took him five minutes just for [TS]

  his dialectic to reach you he was yeah [TS]

  he's having a biscuit on a lorry he [TS]

  doesn't mind that using some bar might [TS]

  honest crumpet me find me torch Tim [TS]

  you're not from England out of the lift [TS]

  I got a lot of pains on this is just a [TS]

  brief III first of all I I like [TS]

  nicknames when the organic I nickname [TS]

  people you know when they really deserve [TS]

  it I have friends like you know and some [TS]

  of them have really caught on my feet my [TS]

  boots so I i came up with scoots whoever [TS]

  called scott scott simpson scoots for [TS]

  the first time they're really catch on [TS]

  you think [TS]

  well it does it did with me I mean you [TS]

  don't want me when I refer to scoot you [TS]

  know what I mean scoots is like it's [TS]

  like when it's like when your dog is [TS]

  like scoot scoot across the carpet [TS]

  together is being laid trap I think of [TS]

  it as being like the trots [TS]

  yeah the trucks and scoots yeah see I [TS]

  like those in there some like my friend [TS]

  you know John Gruber has a very popular [TS]

  blog of apple stuff and I was calm [TS]

  chairman grouper the Caribbean island [TS]

  it's like a chairman mao kind of joke is [TS]

  communism is funny and that you know [TS]

  I've seen other people using that I [TS]

  think having an affectionate nickname [TS]

  for somebody i think it's an honor when [TS]

  somebody has a nickname for you that is [TS]

  that is flattering [TS]

  yeah you know I think my theme music for [TS]

  you is a kind of nickname because I'm so [TS]

  that man is not it's not a nickname [TS]

  mobile name unless you sing it to the [TS]

  most of the tune of jet Janet Jackson's [TS]

  nasty boys who were privatized by a [TS]

  holiday it's well you're pretty sure [TS]

  it's not HoloNet sweetwater miss hearing [TS]

  people miss hearing the melody of that [TS]

  here is a very good here [TS]

  yeah well you on I think you're one of [TS]

  the very I don't know how you started [TS]

  doing this but you're one of the very [TS]

  very few people apart from my wife and [TS]

  people i knew before college who you [TS]

  call me Merle a lot of moral which is [TS]

  what which is my father's name is sort [TS]

  of a call my dad and I one day first day [TS]

  of school in fourth grade they said I'm [TS]

  gonna read all the names and tell me if [TS]

  there's something else you'd like to be [TS]

  called [TS]

  is a tribute to my late father i said i [TS]

  would like to call tomorrow and i NN you [TS]

  know that stuck for awhile and then I [TS]

  went back to Merlin because I realized [TS]

  it was kinda cool and I wanted to stick [TS]

  out a little bit more [TS]

  Merlin school but you are a mean yeah [TS]

  when I call you Merle it's a yeah that's [TS]

  no no I like it you're talking to the [TS]

  Merle I'm gonna get another thing that [TS]

  I'm interested in the John Roderick [TS]

  thing because I've had friends where you [TS]

  always there's a cadence to the name [TS]

  were you always refer to them by their [TS]

  by their full name trying to think of [TS]

  people in in your in your area that are [TS]

  like that there's some kind of friend [TS]

  Mike Mac see that yeah Mike back and [TS]

  you're never ever gonna call him Mike if [TS]

  you come if you call him if you pointed [TS]

  at him and said mike i would i would [TS]

  fail to see him i would go who imma oh [TS]

  you mean my back [TS]

  yeah I had a friend in college named [TS]

  patty fruit which is a great name fre w [TS]

  patty first and you never called me [TS]

  Patti you never called free you always [TS]

  gotta patti fruit because it feels great [TS]

  it's got nice mouthfeel to it you know I [TS]

  know me I i use nicknames a lot because [TS]

  i have a poor memory and I i call people [TS]

  chief [TS]

  Oh chief for my you know my captain my [TS]

  development said councillor doesn't even [TS]

  matter because everybody was a lawyer [TS]

  consular protection i learned this in [TS]

  church and i think it's it's been it's [TS]

  been shown to be true everywhere if you [TS]

  don't know what to call somebody called [TS]

  him dr. because nobody doesn't want to [TS]

  be called dr. right is better than a [TS]

  church situation if you don't know what [TS]

  somebody's keno you get into the [TS]

  churches and you get into the the [TS]

  religions and there's a lot of messages [TS]

  like it's a lot it's a lot like the [TS]

  Third Reich where you know there's so [TS]

  many different titles university and [TS]

  look at all the titles / / housing [TS]

  Colonel schiessen ison Gruber starts and [TS]

  Blitzen Donner Donner Blitzen Donner [TS]

  Party yeah I think I think it depends [TS]

  like in my in my world I would if I [TS]

  called everybody counselor or dr. [TS]

  neither of those things would work we do [TS]

  in rock-and-roll I guess you say it's a [TS]

  bro oh man you get a kick in the nuts [TS]

  Nords if you say bro [TS]

  yeah I like [TS]

  hm but here's the other thing that it [TS]

  was you should i mean i think you [TS]

  deserve it and I'm gonna work on it [TS]

  um I think I like to think that i'm not [TS]

  a creepy person like most people I like [TS]

  to think I'm not a creepy person in but [TS]

  I i think that your little creepy yeah [TS]

  and I think maybe for about 10 years [TS]

  I hopefully and not like when you first [TS]

  date in my house and I was we're driving [TS]

  around getting breakfast with ken [TS]

  stringfellow i know i was super creepy [TS]

  but like I was like starstruck by all [TS]

  you guys but listen to me said it's my [TS]

  turn I was starstruck by Michael but [TS]

  everybody else is interested in any [TS]

  social situation if ken stringfellow is [TS]

  there he is the creepiest person there [TS]

  and everyone else seems perfectly normal [TS]

  and well adjusted by comparison is true [TS]

  that continent john-boy he's come to [TS]

  hear your phone nearby [TS]

  yes which you would you do put you be [TS]

  good enough to call me at the number [TS]

  where you just call me a minute ago that [TS]

  I call you a minute ago you texted me [TS]

  attack just text that's fine yeah all [TS]

  right hang on a second to stand by i [TS]

  have to open three or four apps first [TS]

  before i get the right one so I usually [TS]

  open what I'm trying to find somebody's [TS]

  it's really it's a lot of right now you [TS]

  got your bicycle parts so I open the [TS]

  maps and then I open twitter just [TS]

  reflexively and then that he's been 40 [TS]

  minutes on wikipedia and then I open the [TS]

  translation page and then I try and [TS]

  figure out how many kilograms it is all [TS]

  right now I'm calling you [TS]

  ok hang up and do it again [TS]

  jungle drums hang up on you get into the [TS]

  beginning of Indian still filming here [TS]

  again filled up the Amazon go ahead [TS]

  I am done if you know this one on on on [TS]

  the iphone had my ringer turned off but [TS]

  the iphone you have the ability to [TS]

  create custom vibrations for people w [TS]

  yeah and your when I feel you in my [TS]

  pockets playing car parts [TS]

  oh how nice just bop ba-bop ba-bop [TS]

  ba-bop sort of a Cuban like a Cuban car [TS]

  parts [TS]

  yeah and now you know now that I said I [TS]

  want to get back to that really super [TS]

  creepy because you're about an [TS]

  inch-and-a-half from my dingus such as [TS]

  it is and I can feel you i can feel [TS]

  literally I can I can feel my favorite [TS]

  song from from your first album [TS]

  literally vibrating my ps2 to do it [TS]

  didn't know if I was singing Merlin Mann [TS]

  to the tune of privatized it would go [TS]

  Anna but uh well but with the that the [TS]

  salient part would be an early and man [TS]

  is watching you [TS]

  eh it's not it's not too early man it's [TS]

  more than man [TS]

  ah there's a name I don't want to break [TS]

  down the fourth or fifth wall but it's [TS]

  at some point like to hear you do a [TS]

  little bit more of that I needs [TS]

  president and what that is taken from as [TS]

  I've described before is nasty boys [TS]

  yes no I i know i'm looking really [TS]

  quickly enough to derail this I'm [TS]

  looking very quickly threw on some of [TS]

  the naughty titles because they're [TS]

  pretty often [TS]

  oh my god there are so many good ones [TS]

  term group for ya [TS]

  and and you can move up and oh man I [TS]

  can't put over from ruben through juror [TS]

  ranks and insignia places a great oh my [TS]

  god what a great page got uniform [TS]

  pictures my lawyers uniforms are so [TS]

  amazing I really man sometimes I will [TS]

  you know those really really a [TS]

  high-definition super great quality [TS]

  pictures of the Third Reich and guys [TS]

  kind of those candid photos where [TS]

  they're all walking in a line headed up [TS]

  the stairs somewhere and he and their [TS]

  the Hitler's in the middle and there's [TS]

  like 15 guys walking abreast and every [TS]

  single one of them has a slightly [TS]

  different kind slightly different take [TS]

  on the double-breasted yes [TS]

  ankle-length leather trench coat your [TS]

  how many bird how many versions of an [TS]

  ankle-length double-breasted leather [TS]

  trenchcoat could there possibly been [TS]

  have enough money to effectively invade [TS]

  the Soviet Union but they found a way to [TS]

  have 6 24 30 different kinds of army [TS]

  insignia seriously crazy like you get [TS]

  different armbands [TS]

  ok so just because you remember the [TS]

  original brown shirts as we've discussed [TS]

  before we're like a hound was on sale [TS]

  and sell its not just going up the [TS]

  ladder here pieces from 39 to 45 you get [TS]

  on vulture vulture and very clear that [TS]

  he's the on farther held her moving [TS]

  helfer arbeit slider that's gonna be [TS]

  workin fer button issues but alright is [TS]

  work i think yes I was work [TS]

  ober arbeit slider is the ohbert's [TS]

  letter [TS]

  yes he's over the arts later he's over [TS]

  the works line but he's got a boss that [TS]

  would be the hop to our bites slider [TS]

  sure then of course you've got the [TS]

  barite shocked slider scheisse and yet [TS]

  the uber barite shop slice slider [TS]

  hop-hop barrage keep going I ison sizer [TS]

  I can't wait for somebody to remix this [TS]

  with a beat down to the light slider [TS]

  barracks slider / slurve these are just [TS]

  a few of them and then you got the you [TS]

  know you get yeah so so in watching that [TS]

  many of these minis and by the way today [TS]

  I got a suggestion on twitter that I [TS]

  want [TS]

  show up which is apparently nine and a [TS]

  half hours long so you know I'm gonna [TS]

  make some time for that but at the end [TS]

  but nick names nicknames can be good you [TS]

  deserve better [TS]

  hot rod i occasionally call you Roderick [TS]

  and that might be a little bit familiar [TS]

  Roderick's fine i call jonathan coulton [TS]

  Colton sometimes these are cool and all [TS]

  John Hodgman Hodgman part of the reason [TS]

  you have to call jonathan coulton Colton [TS]

  is that if you try to shorten his name [TS]

  from Jonathan to John he gets all [TS]

  pinched faced i think that's something [TS]

  from orientation at Yale might have been [TS]

  right but he's like jonathan is a [TS]

  separate name it's actually it's [TS]

  actually pictured Kevin he's not getting [TS]

  he's he's upset about it you can't call [TS]

  him John I think that you want to myself [TS]

  a lot of mikes and Michael's the plant [TS]

  all legit for a minute but they do not [TS]

  like being like yeah i have i've done [TS]

  i've learned not to call Michaels Mike [TS]

  but you know what to talk about my [TS]

  killer [TS]

  come on Mike Schiller hear anything [TS]

  about Michael chilli with michelle that [TS]

  site Schilling Schilling Oh Mike [TS]

  Schilling he would hate that original [TS]

  drummer of the long-winded he's a doctor [TS]

  now right [TS]

  chillin I don't think he's a doctor know [TS]

  is he a a biggie i'm not sure what you [TS]

  know what we've fallen out of touch [TS]

  TS is probably better he was teaching a [TS]

  writing class at a local arts college [TS]

  and he asked me if I would come in and [TS]

  give a lecture to his class and I said [TS]

  of course of course i will and i don't [TS]

  know if that's not the answer he [TS]

  expected i'm not sure why his why his [TS]

  response was to never contact me again [TS]

  but weird but Ino and I haven't heard I [TS]

  haven't heard or seen of him either but [TS]

  you know what people this happens to [TS]

  people they are when they reach a [TS]

  certain age which is to say our age they [TS]

  uh they go to some weird things happen [TS]

  they need somebody to go into a [TS]

  comfortable living room set up where [TS]

  there is a maybe a a sectional couch [TS]

  part of which is called the Shea's and [TS]

  they get a bigger next [TS]

  ordinary television and uh pretty much [TS]

  their needs are met there's a like a new [TS]

  chipotle grill that open down street [TS]

  hate that place for all the beer healthy [TS]

  like formula makes me furious and and [TS]

  Bumi with it when am I gonna see him [TS]

  I'm not good it's not like we're gonna [TS]

  see each other in church I've got an [TS]

  idea but it's it's not super flattering [TS]

  for you and well I can take its ok i [TS]

  although I have to say lately I have [TS]

  realized that i am a little bit i'm a [TS]

  little bit shaky lately [TS]

  me too i've been totally shaky lately [TS]

  you know I think that he takes it [TS]

  personally [TS]

  well I you know me I've I can take a ton [TS]

  of shit a metric ton of shit i'll stand [TS]

  in a row standard room of 400 people [TS]

  were everybody in the room hates my guts [TS]

  and I just and it just bounces off of me [TS]

  but lately not so much i'm i'm like [TS]

  walking around like a like a I like a [TS]

  wounded elk em like like an elk which [TS]

  has been hit with a stone tipped arrow [TS]

  mm but but the arrow has fallen out but [TS]

  I am a little bit lame in my conscience [TS]

  my rear on I should know like Rudolph [TS]

  the red-nosed reindeer where you've been [TS]

  you know kind of discouraged from [TS]

  joining the group that feeling of like [TS]

  being a little bit outside and it's a [TS]

  terrible feeling especially at Christmas [TS]

  it's an awful feeling i I've been [TS]

  feeling I've been feeling sensitive is [TS]

  the wrong word right but i can tell that [TS]

  I'm well this is to just too personal [TS]

  but i but I i can tell I can tell when [TS]

  I'm getting a little bit off track [TS]

  I can feel a little wounded you know [TS]

  what it is I'm starting to realize and [TS]

  how man why am I saying this will all be [TS]

  introduced in court one day I can tell [TS]

  when I start feeling unappreciated that [TS]

  something is wrong i might not be [TS]

  getting enough sleep i might be taking [TS]

  too much or too little medicine or [TS]

  something but I started to notice that [TS]

  as soon as I start feeling like I'm not [TS]

  appreciated i know that i've gotten off [TS]

  track [TS]

  that's your flag because i actually [TS]

  don't fucking care normally right well [TS]

  listen first of all none of this can be [TS]

  introduced in court because as your as a [TS]

  professional [TS]

  him everything you say that means in the [TS]

  strictest confidence said like a priest [TS]

  or a lawyer or what's here what's our [TS]

  what's our affiliation your friend doing [TS]

  a american serial podcast what a i feel [TS]

  kind of I'm kind of a priest lawyer you [TS]

  might be my wartime consigliere [TS]

  yeah that's right haha can I really [TS]

  count on you for that if I had to [TS]

  are you kidding me of course would you [TS]

  go to the mattresses I you know what I [TS]

  had all over town [TS]

  I have some room setup better just empty [TS]

  rooms full of mattresses and I'm that [TS]

  you say just really use up that when you [TS]

  say all over town [TS]

  there might be some in town or there [TS]

  might not be any might be in different [TS]

  places it might be a different town [TS]

  see this is the thing about a safe house [TS]

  yeah you know I'm really idea John I [TS]

  your influence on me is is broad and [TS]

  extremely deep and I i am starting to [TS]

  get way more interested in spy stuff for [TS]

  sure and I'm been thinking a lot about [TS]

  safe houses safe rooms adds a sucker's [TS]

  game room it's just a place for you to [TS]

  be immolated when they burn your house [TS]

  down [TS]

  you're helping them that's right you're [TS]

  just like here let me go in here where I [TS]

  can't be of any where I cannot hurt you [TS]

  recognize thing same thing with security [TS]

  if you show somebody five doors and one [TS]

  has a giant-ass lock that says don't go [TS]

  in here you got a pretty good idea where [TS]

  to start [TS]

  if there's a big vault in any in a [TS]

  somewhat like in a closet I think [TS]

  they're gonna know that'sthat's up [TS]

  there's a pretty good chance that the [TS]

  professor is in there that's right and [TS]

  that's why that's why i have [TS]

  booby-trapped completely random stuff in [TS]

  my house oh that's good so it's like oh [TS]

  you wouldn't think that that my family [TS]

  bible would be our would be like an [TS]

  old-fashioned rat trap on the one hand [TS]

  people who know you're going to say why [TS]

  would John have a Bible let alone a [TS]

  family but then somebody else some [TS]

  smartest is going hide in plain sight [TS]

  boom pow how there's a kid that the [TS]

  people live across the street for me not [TS]

  directly across but it kind of around [TS]

  the corner' their houses on the lot of [TS]

  other corner law there's a kid over [TS]

  there about 30 years old [TS]

  and sometimes people show up to talk to [TS]

  him but they pull up alongside the house [TS]

  on my side of the house and then he [TS]

  comes out and gets in their car with [TS]

  them and they sit there for a while and [TS]

  then you see some lighters going off [TS]

  some pots getting smoked and it's like [TS]

  he doesn't want them parked in front of [TS]

  his house for some reason they pull up [TS]

  in the park [TS]

  basically in front of my house [TS]

  surveillant absolutely well I used to [TS]

  what I used to do is when I would drive [TS]

  up when I would come home and I would [TS]

  see that they were somebody was parked [TS]

  over in this spot because there's no [TS]

  reason to park there unless here unless [TS]

  you're trying to do some I mean this is [TS]

  a basic level drug dealers something [TS]

  really that I mean parked alongside the [TS]

  house [TS]

  don't interrupt the job that's some real [TS]

  like fucking first-grade operative stuff [TS]

  i mean wait a minute let me understand [TS]

  you're gonna be a hundred and ten feet [TS]

  from the front of your house and that's [TS]

  recover [TS]

  yeah around the corner but at the same [TS]

  time like this and foremost drug dealers [TS]

  that's at the top of their imagination [TS]

  like that's is that's that it's legit he [TS]

  could actually be he could actually be [TS]

  thinking like around the corner nobody's [TS]

  ever going to think you know what that [TS]

  is that that is an automotive safe how [TS]

  safe room that makes it so easy to pick [TS]

  up to stoners now [TS]

  well so what I used to do when I pulled [TS]

  up to the house was i would i would pull [TS]

  up in front of my house at night of [TS]

  course I pull up in front of my house [TS]

  but I would just park my car kind of [TS]

  that I would turn the wheels at the last [TS]

  minute so that my car was kind of [TS]

  pointing across the street so that my [TS]

  head lights were shining right in their [TS]

  front window right in the windshield [TS]

  where they were sitting and then i would [TS]

  just sit in my car with the motor [TS]

  running and my headlights just filling [TS]

  their car with awful awful light and [TS]

  they would sit there blinking and kind [TS]

  of and for they would sit there for a [TS]

  long time waiting for me to turn my car [TS]

  off and I would just sit there [TS]

  oh that must be unnerving pi had to [TS]

  blink that's really bad it was bad for [TS]

  them and then eventually they would [TS]

  drive away and for a long time they [TS]

  figured out like [TS]

  oh well for what it forever reason that [TS]

  guy across the street doesn't i like [TS]

  because I would never it's not like i [TS]

  would get out and go over and talk to [TS]

  them i would just sit in my car with the [TS]

  lights on until they drove away [TS]

  it's not about carrying a clipboard [TS]

  that's a great idea I think there's all [TS]

  kinds of ways I fucked with a lot of [TS]

  people John and I've come to me the [TS]

  thing is like you never want to like [TS]

  threaten somebody but the thing is it's [TS]

  like the two guys in the tiger right it [TS]

  seems to be faster than you [TS]

  I just need to get you thinking if i get [TS]

  you thinking I've kind of already won [TS]

  while clipboard is great except that [TS]

  that I clearly live in this place so i [TS]

  cant clipboard is kind of like I'm here [TS]

  to check the water meters in eighth this [TS]

  guy knows where you live [TS]

  well yeah I live across the street from [TS]

  him but the other day I was at the [TS]

  playground with my little girl and this [TS]

  guy shows up with a with like a whole [TS]

  passel of kids and he's the nicest [TS]

  sweetest guy in the world and he's like [TS]

  a good and all these kids they're not [TS]

  his he was the other he has their own [TS]

  tent rentals [TS]

  ok he's you know he's uncle somebody and [TS]

  then so uh another group of kids showed [TS]

  up with a couple of gals at the same [TS]

  park and they all were related to each [TS]

  other and they were all like and none of [TS]

  them lived with their folks they were [TS]

  all living with uncles but they were but [TS]

  he was kind of really great [TS]

  sweet-natured 30-year old stoner uncle [TS]

  to these kids who were charming little [TS]

  kids they were all good behaved her arms [TS]

  are well behaved and like kind of [TS]

  athletic but but but also polite little [TS]

  kids and I was like oh maybe I got this [TS]

  guy all wrong maybe he's just stoner guy [TS]

  who's selling a little weed [TS]

  maybe maybe his his a minute his lady [TS]

  does not like him smoking pot in the [TS]

  house but she suffers exactly she looks [TS]

  the other way it is one time each week [TS]

  he has to hang out in a car and smoke [TS]

  pot and not bother anybody exactly the [TS]

  friend pulls up he says pull alongside [TS]

  the house so the kids don't see you and [TS]

  we're going to go out and smoke pot in [TS]

  the car and all of a sudden I felt like [TS]

  all all of my you know all my sweat [TS]

  think of this guy across the street [TS]

  because I think he's running some [TS]

  operation it turns out he just wants to [TS]

  sit out and listen to the chronic and [TS]

  and have some some pots cheese and i was [TS]

  like that changes everything [TS]

  it doesn't now I like the guy and I [TS]

  don't know what I'm supposed to like [TS]

  half an eye on in though [TS]

  oh absolutely i pulled up in front of my [TS]

  house today and he was out there talking [TS]

  to some guy some guy that was kind of [TS]

  dressed like minister farrakhan I was [TS]

  like listen I don't want any of that [TS]

  kinda want to me like a like the moves [TS]

  limbs guess it's like horn-rimmed [TS]

  glasses in newspaper yet and and and [TS]

  bowties like it's I'm I'm okay with that [TS]

  if that is a pee-wee Herman affectation [TS]

  but i but like you know I don't want I [TS]

  don't want I don't want to see guys [TS]

  standing out here selling newspapers on [TS]

  them it's so you know it is so hard to [TS]

  evaluate their I run into things like [TS]

  that all the time because I'm while I'm [TS]

  not strictly speaking paranoid I I [TS]

  definitely have a flare or an affliction [TS]

  for trying to find the story and so I [TS]

  you know my brain runoff and million [TS]

  directions [TS]

  you know i might kinda like the opposite [TS]

  of sherlock holmes like I will see [TS]

  something and i will start putting [TS]

  pieces together and pretty soon i have [TS]

  taken a long walk off a short piece of [TS]

  logic and I've got but now i'm just [TS]

  looking for evidence about that right [TS]

  you know what I mean the everyday yeah [TS]

  yeah yeah well yeah I see what you're [TS]

  saying [TS]

  well you know and I guess I guess you [TS]

  could just you could go over and [TS]

  confront him directly but you don't want [TS]

  to i mean you have your privacy is a [TS]

  reasonably offenses there's a reason you [TS]

  have an electrified fence you know [TS]

  electrified fences make good neighbors [TS]

  I was standing out in front of my [TS]

  Vietnamese neighbor's house the other [TS]

  day and he has a tree in his front yard [TS]

  that I very very very very much want to [TS]

  cut down with a chainsaw is it a few [TS]

  killer [TS]

  well it's not that it is a cherry tree [TS]

  but it's a volunteer and I don't know if [TS]

  you know this about about a lot of fruit [TS]

  bearing trees but you know they are that [TS]

  they they bear delicious fruit because [TS]

  they are grafted like delicious fruit [TS]

  bearing cherry tree is graphed [TS]

  onto hardy crap cherry roots [TS]

  it's a form of of like floral eugenics [TS]

  well yeah so the trees that have the [TS]

  really great powerful root system make [TS]

  shitty cherries I'm just saying this [TS]

  visit for instance they make shitty [TS]

  cherries but they have great routes and [TS]

  then the trees that make great cherries [TS]

  have shitty roots and they're they're [TS]

  fragile and they blow down in storms so [TS]

  what they do what they do is they they [TS]

  graft the top of a great cherry tree [TS]

  onto the root system of a strong cherry [TS]

  tree and they make super super tree but [TS]

  what happened in this instance is that a [TS]

  is that a under so i have a great cherry [TS]

  tree in my front yard but it's such a [TS]

  big tree that the roots kind of extend [TS]

  under my neighbor's yard and from the [TS]

  roots a volunteer poked up out of the [TS]

  ground and nobody mode it down and it [TS]

  became up its own tree but it came from [TS]

  the route instead it was doing like a [TS]

  sep tember 1939 on you it was doing a [TS]

  little slide in sideways zippy zap right [TS]

  I left over there like Oh Madge no line [TS]

  try this what will just go around the [TS]

  side how's that for imagine a line and [TS]

  so now there's this huge charity in my [TS]

  neighbor's yard which produces the brig [TS]

  bitterest tiniest little shitty pie [TS]

  cherries nobody eats them nobody wants [TS]

  them but this tree is just over there [TS]

  like it's just sucking up my energy just [TS]

  the fact that it's over there every day [TS]

  I walk out there like that see it you're [TS]

  gonna see it every day I have to look at [TS]

  it and you know and it so for a long [TS]

  time in the night i would go out and [TS]

  love limbs off of it haha but it's this [TS]

  big tree I can't you know it like just [TS]

  the just the fact that it's over there [TS]

  really bothered so i started when he was [TS]

  still in Indochina everything would have [TS]

  been different [TS]

  well yeah but you remember my neighbors [TS]

  before before the the Vietnamese my [TS]

  neighbors were from from like s sudan [TS]

  and that I definitely wasn't something [TS]

  they know if the Sudanese are gone [TS]

  so anyway so I was standing out in the [TS]

  street and I was staring at this tree [TS]

  i'm in front of his house staring at I'm [TS]

  just given this tree like them just [TS]

  given it the hairy eyeball just the [TS]

  ugliest looks and I'm kind of hoping [TS]

  that eventually he's gonna come out he's [TS]

  going to say hi [TS]

  I'd i doing you know you're just like [TS]

  come out the door because your neighbors [TS]

  standing there staring at your front [TS]

  yard there's nothing else in his yard [TS]

  except mystery but I couldn't quite I [TS]

  couldn't quite figure out how I was [TS]

  gonna go knock on his door and say [TS]

  listen I got I got a beef with this tree [TS]

  and I know it's nothing to you but I [TS]

  will play i will buy and plant and [TS]

  maintain a better tree for you somewhere [TS]

  else in your yard if you will let me saw [TS]

  this tree down like that's my that's my [TS]

  plan that is my proposal to this [TS]

  continued to play out this scenario in [TS]

  your head and try different versions [TS]

  well I do because the because the [TS]

  problem is there is a language golf he [TS]

  does not speak english so what-what it [TS]

  will in it and what I'm afraid of is [TS]

  that he's going to get some nephew to [TS]

  come out and explain it to me and the [TS]

  nephew will have been you know he will [TS]

  drag his nephew away from playing dance [TS]

  dance revolution or always to look out [TS]

  into the daylight and he's going to say [TS]

  you know tell me what this dummy with [TS]

  the next door neighbor is saying and I'm [TS]

  gonna say listen I want to chop down [TS]

  your tree and i'll plan a better tree [TS]

  somewhere and just the way it is the [TS]

  nephew is gonna be like board and and [TS]

  garbled the translation and I feel like [TS]

  I only have one I don't have one chance [TS]

  to get this message across to this guy [TS]

  because if it comes across the wrong way [TS]

  right if somebody came over to my house [TS]

  and they and they they said i want to [TS]

  chop down this tree in your yard and [TS]

  they and they approach me wrong you know [TS]

  there's not like a student get a second [TS]

  chance [TS]

  soon so so you you have to frame it [TS]

  right and also it's like sales you have [TS]

  to think about as i get older I realized [TS]

  that it helps very much to you can't you [TS]

  know [TS]

  gasps what other people think but you [TS]

  can certainly put yourself in there in [TS]

  there they're simple shoes and and need [TS]

  to try to think about it from their [TS]

  point of view right right it is dead [TS]

  wife plant that right now I know that I [TS]

  know that his dead wife didn't plan it [TS]

  well because i was living there before [TS]

  he was living there [TS]

  ok now yeah you know these are exactly [TS]

  the kind of things it's funny because [TS]

  you're not in the suburbs but these are [TS]

  exactly the kinds of things that that [TS]

  the welding that are making the suburbs [TS]

  literally kill us these kinds of these [TS]

  kind of turf wars like did your dog poop [TS]

  like two inches into my yard the end of [TS]

  this huge in Florida John like did you [TS]

  edge your grass as well as I did you [TS]

  didn't want mean-like did you like are [TS]

  the numbers on the address thing on your [TS]

  house ask you because old people [TS]

  especially for everyone in Florida [TS]

  especially old people are obsessed with [TS]

  these extremely minor things because [TS]

  they this probably doesn't apply to you [TS]

  they don't have that many other things [TS]

  to do so they start noticing things [TS]

  yeah now with you I know you're very [TS]

  busy so this is this is probably [TS]

  something that just became so [TS]

  intolerable you had to notice it [TS]

  the idea of a root in your well but but [TS]

  if what complicates it in this end and [TS]

  you the proper thing is there were a [TS]

  couple of trees over there that bothered [TS]

  me and when the Sudanese people moved [TS]

  out now i'm not i'm not i think the [TS]

  statute of limitations has passed that [TS]

  no just unclear because i might be [TS]

  misremembering but these are the folks [TS]

  where you didn't want to call them on [TS]

  the carpet because they may have been [TS]

  the victims they Medicus Cape to [TS]

  genocide [TS]

  no no I was pretty sure that the diapers [TS]

  pretty sure that the guy there was a [TS]

  there was a there was a man and then he [TS]

  had a couple of wives and then some [TS]

  other they were like five women and one [TS]

  guy living there and he listened to [TS]

  really really really loud sermons from [TS]

  some like 'mom that was broadcasting [TS]

  these like fiery polemical sermons in [TS]

  Arabic and like none of them would shake [TS]

  my hand it was a it was a it was a weird [TS]

  scene over there i didn't get along with [TS]

  them but all those helicopters on [TS]

  although I'm sorry to really with all of [TS]

  those helicopters with no markings are [TS]

  starting to make a lot more sense you [TS]

  know that's the idea not about that [TS]

  rabbi we know you've got a little bit [TS]

  about why are there so many i think you [TS]

  and i counted 16 while i was there why [TS]

  are there so many unmarked helicopters [TS]

  flying over your neighborhood [TS]

  well it's that's not the unmarked ones [TS]

  that worried me it's the invisible ones [TS]

  yeah they make them they make a sound [TS]

  but not where you would expect it right [TS]

  there [TS]

  ventriloquist Telecom has a cloaked [TS]

  helicopter sort of like with the es mi [TS]

  bin Laden helicopter can't you have like [TS]

  a special black hawk with curvy sides [TS]

  that you don't hear coming [TS]

  sure didn't you see the ROI Scheider [TS]

  movie blue thunder now I'm gonna write [TS]

  that down i saw the as zero dark thirty [TS]

  you never saw the ROI Scheider vehicle [TS]

  Blue Thunder taking place in Los Angeles [TS]

  it so it's basically zero dark thirty [TS]

  except in the mid-eighties and in Los [TS]

  Angeles huh [TS]

  I saw light and all that jazz a couple [TS]

  times yeah well this is this is so [TS]

  fueled by the box office success of all [TS]

  that James Joyce Shannon folks and jaws [TS]

  to the shower was propelled and write [TS]

  his own ticket that you could basically [TS]

  good and he he made he made Blue Thunder [TS]

  which is the only reason I know about [TS]

  the blue thunder was AI was a kid in the [TS]

  eighties as your remember with a flight [TS]

  suit with a flight suit and also i was [TS]

  in the Alaska repertory theatre [TS]

  production of hot l Baltimore an award [TS]

  an award winning play about the decline [TS]

  of the inner-city that took place in a [TS]

  in a in a crumbling well once grand now [TS]

  crumbling hotel and I was the paperboy [TS]

  this was a this was a production of [TS]

  hotel Baltimore which features real-live [TS]

  nudity on stage and I was 10 year-olds [TS]

  who [TS]

  was cast in the role of the paperboy I i [TS]

  would seek that out and so every night [TS]

  for the entire run of this play I was [TS]

  you know it was like this was the moment [TS]

  where I was try was trotting the board's [TS]

  literally trotting boards with actual [TS]

  adult actors who had come who had been [TS]

  imported to Anchorage for this you know [TS]

  this like first-run off-broadway play [TS]

  and and I got to see I had to see this [TS]

  woman's boobs every night I don't want [TS]

  to hear I don't hear a single word [TS]

  against the legitimate theater i know it [TS]

  was great and it was that was where I [TS]

  that was where I learned about arlo [TS]

  guthrie because they played Arlo Guthrie [TS]

  and the soundtrack every night but [TS]

  anyway so I one of the actors in my [TS]

  production of hot air Baltimore was one [TS]

  of these guys if you saw him i'm going [TS]

  to find him now if you saw him you would [TS]

  say oh I know I know that guy [TS]

  yeah his name is Jack Murdock and Jack [TS]

  Murdock was a character actor in a lot [TS]

  of television in the seventies 60 [TS]

  seventies and eighties like he was on [TS]

  episode of hawaii five-o or he was on [TS]

  you know he was a oh that guy husband of [TS]

  the gal that was on The Love Boat or [TS]

  whatever and occasionally he's a serious [TS]

  that guy Jack Murdock right you see me [TS]

  you're like oh that guy and so Jack [TS]

  Murdock played like the old guy in the [TS]

  lobby of the Hato Baltimore and hotter [TS]

  Baltimore the that the name of the play [TS]

  as a reference to the eagle burned-out [TS]

  he being burned out at the hotel [TS]

  Baltimore right and and it was one of [TS]

  those like it was one of those verte [TS]

  plays that were popular in the early [TS]

  seventies where was you know it's just [TS]

  straight vernacular and and the message [TS]

  was good morning america how are you [TS]

  don't you know me I'm your native sun [TS]

  which [TS]

  would you say it was it was really real [TS]

  it was so real I mean I was the paperboy [TS]

  and because you don't get realer than [TS]

  that [TS]

  mm but so anyway Jack more so every [TS]

  night I'm 10 years old and 12 years old [TS]

  and we're like the cast is back in the [TS]

  dressing room with the with the big [TS]

  round light bulbs and the mirrors and [TS]

  everybody's getting dressed in their [TS]

  costumes and putting makeup on and [TS]

  they're all telling theater stories and [TS]

  they're all from New York and the girls [TS]

  were all dancers and Jack Murdock's got [TS]

  all these stories about hawaii five-o [TS]

  and you know and Jack Murdock taught me [TS]

  how to play chess [TS]

  are you kidding me no way i was their [TS]

  mascot I was this little kid and they [TS]

  would sit you know he would he would [TS]

  like SAT me down and and taught me to [TS]

  play chess and we played chess every [TS]

  night and he was telling me that he was [TS]

  working his next job after he left [TS]

  Alaska was to go make this movie blue [TS]

  thunder with roy scheider and he just [TS]

  you know he just plays some cop in a in [TS]

  a room somewhere in the cameras panning [TS]

  across room he looks to be a classic [TS]

  character actor classic character he [TS]

  turns around at one point in the movie [TS]

  goes hey that's that's not the right you [TS]

  know button or so I don't know what his [TS]

  line is but he has something he has some [TS]

  it's a speaking part and so when Blue [TS]

  Thunder came out like I knew this guy [TS]

  Jack Murdock he was my he was my buddy [TS]

  and so I want to see it and you know and [TS]

  of course that also a writer and a and a [TS]

  secret helicopter that could run silent [TS]

  run deep and so was i was thrilled my [TS]

  brush with first first brush with [TS]

  greatness that must have been you know [TS]

  what that must be so exciting on so many [TS]

  levels I mean being in a theater in [TS]

  general is so exciting i've been in you [TS]

  know a handful of plays and I wasn't [TS]

  good in any of them but it was I could [TS]

  see why people get so I mean setting [TS]

  aside Fame I can see why the show I [TS]

  could see why people get so excited [TS]

  about it it's really it's it's a it's [TS]

  really an operative Joshua's on [TS]

  operation petticoat let us see all using [TS]

  the blue night with that with that guy [TS]

  Georgia church Kennedy well and I norman [TS]

  Miller is on a two [TS]

  episode wow you didn't get a lot of [TS]

  two-part Barney Miller she was in and [TS]

  and and I i watched all those shows with [TS]

  my dad Barney Miller and operation [TS]

  petticoat I mean I knew all that stuff [TS]

  sure so I recognize him he was the one [TS]

  guy in the cast and I recognize and you [TS]

  know and he became like a pal and not [TS]

  exactly a mentor because we didn't know [TS]

  that not everyone has time for that [TS]

  there's there's a lot of you put on the [TS]

  makeup [TS]

  you gotta do your exercises you put just [TS]

  with this kid is not kind of cool that [TS]

  somebody would be nice to you in that [TS]

  situation they were all super nice and [TS]

  you know it was so what year was that [TS]

  AED 1980s wow so you are like what like [TS]

  ten no twelve twelve 1980 and I mean it [TS]

  was like the character the people that [TS]

  the actors these people who had come up [TS]

  to Alaska to play in this to be in this [TS]

  play were absolutely like a Richard [TS]

  Dreyfuss in goodbye girl I mean they [TS]

  were the same it was basically four [TS]

  years later and the same exact culture [TS]

  of people it was like being at a it was [TS]

  like being on the set of taxi or [TS]

  something [TS]

  I mean the girl though the women were [TS]

  actually wearing leotards huh [TS]

  because that was just what you wore I [TS]

  mean they weren't wearing it on stage [TS]

  they were just wearing it around because [TS]

  leotards were that was the thing then [TS]

  mostly it starts at Edmond good time so [TS]

  I learned a lot but then immediately [TS]

  afterwards I tried out I was flushed [TS]

  with success and having been in this [TS]

  massive production and I auditioned for [TS]

  one for the for the oldest kid in enemy [TS]

  of the people and i did not get the [TS]

  roll-out I I that name rings about what [TS]

  happens in that Gibson you're going to [TS]

  be an instant play sorry and I was and [TS]

  it was like wow this was going to be my [TS]

  this was going to be my big now I was [TS]

  going to go from here to to the big big [TS]

  time that works you like this for music [TS]

  I mean you get a little bit of success [TS]

  you build on that [TS]

  ya know who could give sense of who got [TS]

  your partner [TS]

  they're blond kid some other blonde kid [TS]

  that maybe wasn't so high on himself [TS]

  because he had just been an auto [TS]

  Baltimore they offered me the understudy [TS]

  role but you know i have never been [TS]

  particularly resilient to i'm not one of [TS]

  those like pick yourself up dust [TS]

  yourself off and go back at it you know [TS]

  I was like I didn't get the role in any [TS]

  of the people and everybody can sold me [TS]

  and I rejected their consolation and I [TS]

  was told we can't because you're [TS]

  unworthy or because it just value I [TS]

  student [TS]

  well it was just like I mean there who [TS]

  knows whether they just cast the next [TS]

  kid you know they don't care i think [TS]

  it's pretty capricious John the way [TS]

  these things happening 12 year olds who [TS]

  they're not they're not trying to pick [TS]

  us it's a lot of who you now this is [TS]

  your last chance for special rarely come [TS]

  into it [TS]

  yeah and so but anyway I was like oh it [TS]

  was not so much that I was devastated as [TS]

  I was I took tremendous umbrage at [TS]

  having been at I took umbrage at the [TS]

  idea that there was another 12 year old [TS]

  blonde kid in Anchorage who was as cute [TS]

  as I was or potentially even cuter [TS]

  I was like I was appalled by this and [TS]

  unfortunately for me 12 years old was [TS]

  the last I think probably four days [TS]

  later I stop being cute and I was never [TS]

  to meet again that's so that was it i [TS]

  mean they made the right choice and they [TS]

  picked me I would have gone i would have [TS]

  become uncute onstage in front of the [TS]

  audience they went from night after [TS]

  night they would have been like this kid [TS]

  is becoming hideous what is a little bit [TS]

  more of an awkward homunculus every [TS]

  night just like every night I would have [TS]

  grown a half an inch and my chin would [TS]

  have would have grown dollars [TS]

  yeah weird just like a pimples [TS]

  blackheads [TS]

  so anyway they probably picked an [TS]

  eleven-year-old and they were safe for a [TS]

  year [TS]

  well you know you're certainly right now [TS]

  in the kind of business where you need [TS]

  it kind of really wanted and you gotta [TS]

  put up with a lot but that theater [TS]

  I mean you know you see a chorus line [TS]

  i'm sure [TS]

  I mean you've got a really wanted and [TS]

  you've got to be like you know if you've [TS]

  ever had to go on like nothing you've [TS]

  ever had a job but like when you get a [TS]

  job trying to get a job get the resume [TS]

  and just got to get into this state [TS]

  wants a Zen but you've got to get into a [TS]

  certain certain state where you go like [TS]

  it's my job to just show up a bunch and [TS]

  understand that it's probably not going [TS]

  to work out and then if I if I just keep [TS]

  doing it long enough it'll happen maybe [TS]

  yeah yeah yeah I is there anything worse [TS]

  than a job [TS]

  no well I mean getting a job getting a [TS]

  job is worse than even I don't even have [TS]

  well you know one addendum i mean i [TS]

  think that the only thing worse than [TS]

  having a job is losing a job but that [TS]

  the I think this the secret that we [TS]

  should share with people is that you'll [TS]

  never lose a job if you don't get a job [TS]

  I mean you lose things but you know in [TS]

  America anyway them could be all of [TS]

  North America except for Mexico like you [TS]

  are like what you do when people meet [TS]

  you then you know they don't ask you [TS]

  what you're doing a favorite episode of [TS]

  adventure time is they ask you what you [TS]

  do and they cast really want to know [TS]

  basically how much you make [TS]

  they want to know whether they should [TS]

  suck up to you right you I'm ringing a [TS]

  bell right now [TS]

  oh but i'm leaning back in my chair I [TS]

  can't reach the bell so I'm just hitting [TS]

  the table sound like Chris chef [TS]

  no I was just hitting a roll of toilet [TS]

  paper because it's the closest thing I [TS]

  could reach as rivals ringing a roll of [TS]

  toilet paper like it was a bell [TS]

  because I agree with you mr. ok [TS]

  successes that's a new up huh [TS]

  um but you know I couldn't do that I [TS]

  could do that hated that time in on and [TS]

  i want to counsel my kids about this we [TS]

  always talk about this and how tough it [TS]

  is when you you know when you lose a job [TS]

  especially if you're well first off [TS]

  you're 20 if your twenties and you lose [TS]

  a job [TS]

  it feels like the end of the world [TS]

  whether it's for cause or not because [TS]

  you think like you don't even realize [TS]

  how tenuous your grip on reality is when [TS]

  you're in your early to mid-twenties I [TS]

  really really really believe that [TS]

  yeah and then you get a little older and [TS]

  go and you know I didn't die like I can [TS]

  suck it up for a while and even if i [TS]

  don't have any money like I can [TS]

  definitely find something you know I can [TS]

  always wait on tables as people not [TS]

  I've certainly not all the time but I [TS]

  don't you get a little bit older and [TS]

  like you I maybe not you but I want to [TS]

  know if you met people like this you [TS]

  have accumulated so much of your sense [TS]

  of who you are but how quickly you can [TS]

  kind of shortcut your introduction to [TS]

  someone so so in the case of of this [TS]

  Murdoch fella he could say yeah you may [TS]

  know me from 1984 episode of remington [TS]

  steele up or he's on st. elsewhere he [TS]

  was on boys been in some cases not [TS]

  cheers oh yeah yeah he was the guy i [TS]

  remember seeing him on cheers this is [TS]

  many years later and I was like k Jack [TS]

  Murdock but like you know if you're [TS]

  walking around you're like that you know [TS]

  you're I don't know if your hamburger or [TS]

  something you eat you can you can let [TS]

  people know that like you can good [TS]

  example if your Hindenburg he was a war [TS]

  hero John I know [TS]

  yeah would you pick someone younger [TS]

  if I was you looking for example if i [TS]

  was looking for her daughter Chancellor [TS]

  is a president Chancellor Chancellor [TS]

  Chancellor when you look for someone a [TS]

  little younger [TS]

  well yeah but you can't put a price on [TS]

  war hero [TS]

  that's true oh my god John he was in any [TS]

  which way you can [TS]

  oh my god he haha he's got quite a cv [TS]

  basically that film shorts to wear this [TS]

  sequel to every which way but loose any [TS]

  which way you can I was a talented [TS]

  orangutang up he's got his hands up in [TS]

  the air he did that a lot don't you did [TS]

  I mean like I feel this all the time i'm [TS]

  very interested in the idea of status [TS]

  and and what a part part of what allows [TS]

  me to be interested in status is I'm not [TS]

  personally obsessed with it i'm going to [TS]

  you and I have been in places where were [TS]

  around famous people and I I let me say [TS]

  I tend to unless it's somebody I really [TS]

  like it like you know if it's scott [TS]

  miller i want to run up and meet Scott [TS]

  Miller but apart from that I kind of go [TS]

  into the background because I I don't [TS]

  and you know i don't know you know this [TS]

  is going to get into that theme in our [TS]

  podcast which is this sense that that we [TS]

  have Indian meeting and dealing with [TS]

  young people [TS]

  yeah that we do so much of you and I [TS]

  that I would have to say John that I [TS]

  think that's who are really trying to [TS]

  reach with a lot of this material [TS]

  yeah and a lot of young people i know [TS]

  they are not averse to work they want to [TS]

  work they want to have jobs that where [TS]

  they do fulfilling work in the world [TS]

  they want to make a contribution they [TS]

  feel underused is the problem and they [TS]

  do not see any because because nobody [TS]

  joins IBM anymore as an [TS]

  eighteen-year-old or twenty two-year-old [TS]

  straight out of college and expects to [TS]

  work for IBM for 40 years and [TS]

  everybody's career path is this like a [TS]

  game of Frogger where they're hopping [TS]

  from log to lily pad to log and they [TS]

  don't see a clear path and they feel [TS]

  underused from the beginning and then [TS]

  make it to be 27 28 years old and [TS]

  there's still no path developing there's [TS]

  still no sense that anything they've [TS]

  done adds up to anything or that the [TS]

  next thing they're gonna do is on the [TS]

  road to anywhere [TS]

  uh-huh and so they have this that they [TS]

  have this crushing futility and it isn't [TS]

  that there is it isn't that they don't [TS]

  want to work it's that they want to do [TS]

  valuable work they have no idea how to [TS]

  get there they've got a college degree [TS]

  in something that they don't care about [TS]

  all around them they they perceive [TS]

  incorrectly but they perceived people [TS]

  doing fun things you know they see paul [TS]

  f tompkins being a comedian and they're [TS]

  like why can't I be paul f tompkins and [TS]

  they don't realize that there are 300 [TS]

  million Americans and only one of them [TS]

  is paul left unfinished serious how [TS]

  everybody such a sink there so serious [TS]

  so I'm always in this position of [TS]

  talking to people whether just like [TS]

  but-but-but I am 28 and I have a degree [TS]

  in in in marketing marketing [TS]

  communications communications i have a [TS]

  have a goddamn college degree in [TS]

  communications and i am working as a [TS]

  barista or as a receptionist or as a you [TS]

  know and I and I can't I can't do it [TS]

  anymore i can I don't want to [TS]

  I don't want to quit without knowing [TS]

  what i'm going to do next but there is [TS]

  no next and and yeah I feel for them [TS]

  not every you know not everybody can go [TS]

  be a banjo player who cares we're [TS]

  already saturated especially after [TS]

  supertrain well I got it I got an email [TS]

  from a guy they uh after our last [TS]

  episode who said and this is the amazing [TS]

  thing about this podcast because every [TS]

  time we every time we do anything i get [TS]

  10 emails from people and I'm always [TS]

  astonished at who is listening who this [TS]

  guy says my my job is that I am a [TS]

  researcher at the International Court in [TS]

  The Hague and for the lassie he had for [TS]

  the last however many years my job has [TS]

  been to sit in a room and go over [TS]

  evidence of bosnian of the bosnian [TS]

  genocide well and what they you know [TS]

  what they do is they give me a name and [TS]

  they say find this guy's name in this [TS]

  archive of 1 billion documents God and [TS]

  so he's you know he's he wrote me this [TS]

  thing is like you know I whatever I [TS]

  whenever I think I can't take it anymore [TS]

  you know I look to my left and I look to [TS]

  my right and the people that I'm working [TS]

  with you know are reading the autopsy [TS]

  reports of their relatives and [TS]

  and you know so we he and I had a little [TS]

  exchange on the email basically around [TS]

  the topic of the fact that the more [TS]

  although week although we become [TS]

  obsessed with searching for meaning in [TS]

  these seas senseless acts we feel like [TS]

  if we just watch one more Holocaust [TS]

  documentary or we just read one more [TS]

  book about Bosnia or rwanda we're going [TS]

  to unlock it somehow we're going to see [TS]

  we're going to find that missing puzzle [TS]

  piece that explains how your friends and [TS]

  neighbors how normal human beings who [TS]

  were working in an office two weeks ago [TS]

  are now like chewing on the shin bones [TS]

  of the children who lived next door [TS]

  how what is the key you know and he was [TS]

  saying after all these years of working [TS]

  in this situation reading these [TS]

  documents i come to the same conclusion [TS]

  you do which is that there is no [TS]

  learning more about it you can learn all [TS]

  there is to know [TS]

  and there is no sense you can ever make [TS]

  of it there that you never find a key [TS]

  it's just you just keep it just keep [TS]

  watching Holocaust documentaries you [TS]

  don't ever see you don't ever find it [TS]

  and I said how in the fuck did you get [TS]

  that job you know like where how did [TS]

  that and he he told me his story which [TS]

  is just like he was just gonna need a [TS]

  jock needed a job he was sitting in a [TS]

  bar and he was kind of talking shit out [TS]

  loud in a bar about the world and some [TS]

  guys cycles over to man is like well you [TS]

  know if you really feel that way you [TS]

  should you should do something about you [TS]

  should work [TS]

  you know you should work for this work [TS]

  for that and he got a job [TS]

  initially I think sharpening pencils or [TS]

  or pushing it pushing a cart up and down [TS]

  the hallway and eventually he finds his [TS]

  way into this room where am I you know [TS]

  where he's listening he's got headphones [TS]

  on and he's listening to people testify [TS]

  about massacres [TS]

  seems like one of the mm no let's see [TS]

  one of the worst job in the world but it [TS]

  sounds like a very challenging job [TS]

  because you know i mean what could be [TS]

  worse than having to deal with that [TS]

  subject matter but also have to deal [TS]

  with so much boring paperwork because [TS]

  you know what I mean like he's gotta go [TS]

  you know what I mean like he's gotta go [TS]

  fine you know it's a it's a legal [TS]

  proceeding he can't get a kind of half [TS]

  right i'm pretty sure it's in here [TS]

  somewhere [TS]

  yeah yeah yeah it's only gonna be a lot [TS]

  of like a staple it to the other thing [TS]

  no I mean they're gonna ask questions [TS]

  he's got good lawyers you know but it's [TS]

  0 & but I mean who I'm court but you [TS]

  know Merlin I mean you know are you are [TS]

  are somebody who takes a tremendous [TS]

  amount of pleasure in writing things [TS]

  down on cards and shuffling them around [TS]

  you know who you know how much [TS]

  satisfaction you can get now I don't [TS]

  know if you are a compulsive checkbook [TS]

  balancer but you know there are all [TS]

  these different permutations of this [TS]

  desire to border and any in the world [TS]

  and what what do you think John and some [TS]

  of it something in it that was three [TS]

  times as much money in here [TS]

  some of it is you turn over the card and [TS]

  it's a picture of a pair of red [TS]

  high-heeled shoes whatever that was for [TS]

  if you turn over another card and some [TS]

  brown sandals you turn over another card [TS]

  it's red high-heeled shoes you match the [TS]

  two cards and you pull that were to take [TS]

  game called it's called to match don't [TS]

  you match so so you're playing a game [TS]

  issue match and that is that is a career [TS]

  that whatever the whatever the the the [TS]

  meaning it is that's that's being [TS]

  attached to matching the pieces of paper [TS]

  you can at a certain point turn off the [TS]

  other data and just be like i need to [TS]

  find that I need to find the name that's [TS]

  on this document and find it on these [TS]

  other documents and the fact that these [TS]

  other documents are all about firing [TS]

  squads and mass graves i'm going to [TS]

  leave aside for a little while i'm just [TS]

  going to find I'm gonna find the [TS]

  matching name but for something that [TS]

  field at this is so not meant to be as [TS]

  good as it sounds but it's not that [TS]

  different for being a reference [TS]

  librarian [TS]

  we're like you know finding out the [TS]

  total number of people killed at [TS]

  Treblinka is not that different from the [TS]

  quadratic equation know your information [TS]

  gatherer and your job is to find the [TS]

  best version of truth that we know of [TS]

  and have [TS]

  access to in the time you have for me to [TS]

  find this well and that is why that is [TS]

  why the horror of history is so muted I [TS]

  mean right now world war 2 is still and [TS]

  and Bosnia they're still so horrible [TS]

  because they're the they're still [TS]

  reverberating in living people but i [TS]

  cannot find and believe me I have tried [TS]

  a single person that is that is really [TS]

  horrified by the events of the thirty [TS]

  years war [TS]

  oh the thirty years war was a terrible [TS]

  terrible terrible [TS]

  that's not my problem with becoming an [TS]

  Agincourt buff if there's no [TS]

  reenactments everybody wants to do the [TS]

  speech and then that's about it but who [TS]

  I mean imagine a tank or climbing like [TS]

  there were people that died at Agincourt [TS]

  because they were just buried under dead [TS]

  bodies and and they couldn't move [TS]

  because they were because they were into [TS]

  our member ten-to-one didn't hurt like [TS]

  imagine imagine dying because you are [TS]

  crushed under dead bodies and you drown [TS]

  in the mud like there are terrible [TS]

  terrible things that have happened but [TS]

  over over the over the course of time [TS]

  they just become history and we we write [TS]

  them down on three-by-five cards we file [TS]

  them away and we no longer have an [TS]

  emotional attachment to them [TS]

  I mean when one of the interesting [TS]

  things about slavery in America is it's [TS]

  a hundred and fifty years ago but it is [TS]

  still very present because the because [TS]

  the map the cultural memory continues to [TS]

  be passed down and reinforced but there [TS]

  are a lot of other terrible things that [TS]

  happened in 1860 up that you know that [TS]

  are that have just passed into the into [TS]

  the ether nobody still mad about it [TS]

  well this is this is a very much the [TS]

  part working at need to cut out haha i [TS]

  doubt i mean i think you have to do you [TS]

  have to take my found out found out [TS]

  about scooted forward on what is a [TS]

  screenshot of him in any which way you [TS]

  can that's really really funny you're [TS]

  talking about the jack yeah apparently [TS]

  passed by the way past 2000 190 I [TS]

  remember when he died [TS]

  and i don't know why i think it is that [TS]

  I have honestly I have checked in with [TS]

  Jack Murdock over the years you just see [TS]

  what's doing check-in yeah you like Jack [TS]

  Martin what I was doing I mean I still [TS]

  have my script around you're kidding [TS]

  auto Baltimore's in Samuel French book [TS]

  one of those little like license to like [TS]

  little you know trade country like its [TS]

  saddle bound or likeness simple like [TS]

  yeah that's it oh and i and i still have [TS]

  the program from Michelle that has [TS]

  everybody's picture in it [TS]

  yeah yeah your house man i hope you guys [TS]

  don't have you got a god forbid god [TS]

  forbid John that you ever actually died [TS]

  i hope there is someone who can work [TS]

  through the chain of custody for what's [TS]

  gonna happen with what's in that house [TS]

  because nobody cares they really don't [TS]

  somebody was so manifestly in true [TS]

  somebody would come in here and they'd [TS]

  be like when Allah John job prep here [TS]

  but why did you need two copies of [TS]

  preppy and they don't let Lisa Lisa [TS]

  Birnbaum 1982 yeah they didn't have that [TS]

  they didn't note that one of them was a [TS]

  reference copy and one of them was to be [TS]

  preserved [TS]

  they don't care he fixed mr. macados old [TS]

  BMW by adjusting the anti-sway bar [TS]

  um that song I i remember that line but [TS]

  i don't remember from one it was a wrap [TS]

  kind of a proto rap song about preppies [TS]

  but but here's the thing you know what [TS]

  this is great because we can get away [TS]

  from the Holocaust although i wish we [TS]

  could talk about the Holocaust with that [TS]

  we need to save it for our Hitler and [TS]

  stuff [TS]

  you always liked actually a separate [TS]

  property and learn stuff people keep [TS]

  saying Hitler and stuff it learned stuff [TS]

  but I I don't know people with to hear [TS]

  that they such a bummer [TS]

  it's always a bummer but it's in the [TS]

  context of talking talking about panties [TS]

  and neighbors and if you take it away [TS]

  from that and make it to tell it make [TS]

  its own thing it's gonna be like every [TS]

  other Holocaust podcast on itunes and I [TS]

  think it's gonna drop people and not the [TS]

  cool kind of I don't make their other [TS]

  Holocaust podcasts and I have to imagine [TS]

  I don't want to make it about the [TS]

  numbers John yes definitely [TS]

  those sections they don't even count the [TS]

  Russians I don't want to profit off the [TS]

  Holocaust any more than you do well 20 [TS]

  million yeah yeah I mean I talk about [TS]

  European war that interest i think i [TS]

  think the thing is that the the [TS]

  Holocaust is special it special for a [TS]

  lot of reasons I think it's special [TS]

  because its recent and it's gonna be [TS]

  real fast [TS]

  I think it's special because it's really [TS]

  relatively recent there there are still [TS]

  as you say what am I gotta check this [TS]

  fact is it's so bananas what he say that [TS]

  half of the World War two veterans died [TS]

  everyday is that right [TS]

  oh i would say at least I mean that's a [TS]

  heuristic but you know the people dying [TS]

  fast but nevertheless you will encounter [TS]

  people who grew up you know in the Lots [TS]

  ghetto who were like little kids that [TS]

  are that are still around but I'm it [TS]

  holds a special place because i think it [TS]

  is not funny it if it represents it [TS]

  represents like next to something like [TS]

  watching saw it represents our idea of [TS]

  like just how awful it can really get [TS]

  it's still it's still current it's still [TS]

  weird refresh and the more i think the [TS]

  part that makes a compelling as i sit [TS]

  there and now prepare to watch a 9 and a [TS]

  half hour movie about the Holocaust it [TS]

  is that is that no matter how far you [TS]

  dig you're going to find two things [TS]

  first of all on the one hand going to [TS]

  find something that's increasingly more [TS]

  horrific and disturbing and challenging [TS]

  to your basic idea about what makes us [TS]

  human like the good part of us that [TS]

  makes us human like you're going to find [TS]

  more and more of that and it becomes [TS]

  weirdly compelling it's like looking at [TS]

  autopsy photos or something not just [TS]

  strictly from like a you know for [TS]

  instance am Korean or sensationalist [TS]

  template but i think i think the nuance [TS]

  that gets lost among some of the fans of [TS]

  Hitler and stuff is that you for every [TS]

  one of those you find you're going to [TS]

  find five people who were mostly kind of [TS]

  okay with it and that's the part and and [TS]

  I want to get into the monster but i'm [TS]

  just going to say that's the part that [TS]

  always the images yes image [TS]

  stick with me but the part that really [TS]

  grabs me is that it's okay so it's one [TS]

  thing for us to go like I watched I was [TS]

  Joan of Arc the 1928 Joan of Arc the [TS]

  other night [TS]

  Oh which is pretty pretty good it's [TS]

  weird but it's it's really good and but [TS]

  you know it's it's very very well done [TS]

  but you know you kind of know how it [TS]

  turns out and there's just this is one [TS]

  beautiful woman who keeps looking like [TS]

  she's just done some rush and there's a [TS]

  lot of guys in hats but is so [TS]

  beautifully Castile all everybody dies [TS]

  in the end he said tell me I'm talking [TS]

  about [TS]

  yeah I do yeah it's on the on the the [TS]

  hulu and stuff but anyhow but it is [TS]

  really moving [TS]

  it's a testament to this 19 year old [TS]

  woman who isn't going to back down and [TS]

  then she backs down for a second and she [TS]

  says you know what I'm not going to back [TS]

  down but it's a beautifully balanced in [TS]

  the sense of like she really doesn't [TS]

  want to fucking die at the stake but she [TS]

  also really does like little like [TS]

  anybody in faith she believes in this [TS]

  but she's also like oh god I really [TS]

  don't want to be on fire in front o God [TS]

  nobody wants to die first and i love [TS]

  that I love that she just didn't just [TS]

  like you know bravely go oh you know all [TS]

  NZ you know it was hard for her and then [TS]

  when they tell her she says bring bring [TS]

  them in here i'm going to tell you guys [TS]

  I lied I lied when I sign that I really [TS]

  do believe i was sent by God essentially [TS]

  to do this thing okay fine then we gotta [TS]

  go do this thing and the guy walks in [TS]

  and says i'm here to give you the [TS]

  sacraments and help prepare you and one [TS]

  of my favorite scenes just a shot of her [TS]

  and she's just kind of weeping just a [TS]

  little bit and is like you know soon [TS]

  like it'sit's right now you know it's [TS]

  it's not like it's gonna be like six [TS]

  months of you know appeals like no like [TS]

  you said that and now we have to kill [TS]

  you and like on the one hand it's like [TS]

  it is an amazing scene at the end of her [TS]

  being burned at the stake that's pretty [TS]

  well done for 1928 very hard to watch [TS]

  but but like what ultimately makes that [TS]

  interesting is that like it's [TS]

  interesting because yes this young woman [TS]

  died [TS]

  it's interesting because she did that in [TS]

  spite of her fears but because of her [TS]

  her faith and you know maybe she was not [TS]

  to nose but also what makes that movie [TS]

  it would not be interesting without the [TS]

  30 different old guys staring at her [TS]

  and kind of in kind of laughing and [TS]

  that's and I think that's can get away [TS]

  from this battle draws me into this [TS]

  stuff is the guys walking out of the [TS]

  room full of bodies who are who are just [TS]

  wanted to get back to their strudel day [TS]

  they brush their hands off and they go [TS]

  back to their home and this is why god [TS]

  damn your eyes that like the monster [TS]

  inside has now become something that i [TS]

  think about it really like to talk about [TS]

  something else but everybody's respond [TS]

  but that does that comport it all with [TS]

  your own because i'm coming back to your [TS]

  beer your dude your your email person [TS]

  because like I'm not just doing this [TS]

  because I get off from watching these [TS]

  things I'm looking for something in this [TS]

  i'm searching for y'all and I'm and I [TS]

  don't you know what like the democratic [TS]

  process of previous discussion i don't [TS]

  think there's an answer [TS]

  I don't think there's an end but I'm [TS]

  looking for more in this that's going to [TS]

  tell me something about human beings [TS]

  that the thing about joan of arc of the [TS]

  thing about any prior time in history [TS]

  was that there was the there was [TS]

  opportunity for these individual acts of [TS]

  heroism in these these people that you [TS]

  know that stood on their principles and [TS]

  and you wonder [TS]

  um you know you wonder if Galileo had [TS]

  allowed himself to be burned at the [TS]

  stake wow we would what we would think [TS]

  about him now but what I think one of [TS]

  the reasons that that the Holocaust is [TS]

  still all on our minds all the time is [TS]

  that it was it is that we are still [TS]

  navigating not the not the horror not [TS]

  the inhumanity but the fact that at that [TS]

  moment in time i think around the world [TS]

  let's say 1938 there was a sense that [TS]

  democracy while had be what was an [TS]

  archaic form and that bureaucracy [TS]

  technological bureaucracy was going to [TS]

  free us from the messiness of the mob [TS]

  and that we finally had the machines we [TS]

  finally have the paperwork to live [TS]

  have attacked a technical in it within a [TS]

  technical fashion and we are still [TS]

  navigating those ideas now they're still [TS]

  very present ideas that if you can just [TS]

  get your if you can just get that the [TS]

  apps in the right order on your phone [TS]

  that your life problems are going to go [TS]

  away you know we're all were all looking [TS]

  for like oh if I just had google glass I [TS]

  would be able now I would not have 2x [TS]

  you know and so we are still although I [TS]

  feel like world war two was a giant [TS]

  refutation of the idea that paperwork [TS]

  was going to that paperwork was going to [TS]

  a progress beyond the messiness of just [TS]

  humans through flinging shit each other [TS]

  like if we were to did not demonstrate [TS]

  it [TS]

  I don't know what it takes and yet we're [TS]

  here is because I hate don't do that i'm [TS]

  writing this down [TS]

  yeah and also like like the idea that [TS]

  all of our messiness and all of our [TS]

  crimes against humanity were just a [TS]

  product of our uncover neural uncover [TS]

  nobleness and the fact that we now had [TS]

  in place systems where everybody could [TS]

  be monitored everything could be [TS]

  catalogued that we could be ultimately [TS]

  governed and the what you know the [TS]

  mistake that the Germans the fundamental [TS]

  mistake of Nazism oh god I take that bez [TS]

  campus but you know like the idea that [TS]

  if we just got rid of these people then [TS]

  everybody else was going to live [TS]

  peacefully and comfortably with one [TS]

  another if we just all we have to do is [TS]

  start with a clean slate we just have to [TS]

  raise these villages and build new [TS]

  villages in their place and to a certain [TS]

  extent we were engaged in that same [TS]

  process here in the United States we [TS]

  were raising the lower east side we were [TS]

  raising central Detroit we were building [TS]

  highways and byways and all of these [TS]

  things we needed to get all we needed to [TS]

  do was get rid of the ghettos and put up [TS]

  big apartment buildings and through [TS]

  technology all [TS]

  similarly and bureaucracy we were going [TS]

  to we were going to eliminate all this [TS]

  messy human suffering and so the [TS]

  Holocaust still rings in my head because [TS]

  every day I walk out the door and I see [TS]

  the world still grappling with the fact [TS]

  that really like the messiness of [TS]

  democracy is the only chance we have [TS]

  like it's the only check in balance [TS]

  um is other people's voices other you [TS]

  know that mixing in that and that [TS]

  disagreement and the and and and and [TS]

  goodwill you know the goodwill of trying [TS]

  to arrive at a consensus rather than the [TS]

  goodwill of saying i am going to impose [TS]

  this for your own good [TS]

  so yeah I mean every day I look at my [TS]

  computer and I just c 6-r you looking [TS]

  for if I don't understand when you're I [TS]

  mean maybe not actively but are you [TS]

  you're looking for a little little signs [TS]

  it isn't like oh that guy's gonna have [TS]

  an access to dadeland but like there's [TS]

  something out there where you're looking [TS]

  for some little tickle of there's a [TS]

  little bit with the monster could creep [TS]

  in isn't fair to say well yeah and I'm [TS]

  more and more convinced that that the [TS]

  chaos is the key that the that the that [TS]

  the code is the mess not the order and [TS]

  that anything that looks for that looks [TS]

  for answers in order is how is [TS]

  ultimately going to uncover a new brand [TS]

  of horror ones that we can't even [TS]

  picture yet i mean if you look at all [TS]

  science fiction that prognosticate [TS]

  future horror it all comes as a result [TS]

  of some attempt at creating a new order [TS]

  and what we want none of us can handle [TS]

  is that the mess is the plan you know [TS]

  where the mess is the messages what what [TS]

  protects us and it and the process is [TS]

  the whole it is the end the process is [TS]

  the end I mean not so much unlike sort [TS]

  of i think there should be more props [TS]

  for Brazil because Brazil on the one [TS]

  hand the film on the one hand [TS]

  oh ok but saying that they're talking [TS]

  about the country i was gonna I was [TS]

  gonna say bowl when my baby smiles at me [TS]

  I'll go to Rio now I don't know I I mean [TS]

  like part of what i love about Brazil is [TS]

  that you know it could be seen as I mean [TS]

  I was watching the because apparently i [TS]

  like to do is watch movies now this is [TS]

  see you can't do this if you have a job [TS]

  he can't do it [TS]

  Merlin watching movies is your job part [TS]

  of your job I don't know what I'm [TS]

  looking for I just your little pretty [TS]

  there's no end to it i just keep looking [TS]

  but a but me no part of part of what [TS]

  obviously so great about Brazil and this [TS]

  is so obvious in you know and you [TS]

  haven't seen it [TS]

  2 3 5 7 x is how wonderfully it marries [TS]

  the well-off top my head two things it [TS]

  obviously is very heavily influenced by [TS]

  1984 right 1984 and just this idea that [TS]

  there is this you know it got George [TS]

  Orwell's such a great writer on the idea [TS]

  of how language affects political [TS]

  discourse and how in exact language is [TS]

  one of those you know basic tools [TS]

  there's that wonderful essay that that [TS]

  everybody should read about the use of [TS]

  language in and anyway I don't know you [TS]

  know what I mean I do you making fun of [TS]

  me [TS]

  I'm not no I'm agreeing with you under [TS]

  percent i could google it but I'm trying [TS]

  not to do that [TS]

  it's a look it up later but the point is [TS]

  yes [TS]

  so so huge influence from 1984 but the [TS]

  other part of it is is the instruction [TS]

  of and start to go there but Kafka like [TS]

  the castle like there's something to [TS]

  Brazil which is like like you know in [TS]

  in enmity for there's more the sense of [TS]

  stasis and like this is not going to [TS]

  change like you're always going to be [TS]

  scared [TS]

  we're always going to be at war with [TS]

  Eurasia East Asia yeah yeah rising look [TS]

  at the station and and the goose just a [TS]

  sense of like this is never really going [TS]

  to change until the next reboot of the [TS]

  culture but just somebody comes down and [TS]

  throws a tennis shoe at the big screen [TS]

  with the person throw a tennis racket I [TS]

  think she had a hammer a hammer and [TS]

  that's why we have iphones up but [TS]

  combine that with Kafka and also with [TS]

  with the with like Marx Brothers I mean [TS]

  that's what's crazy about Brazil yeah [TS]

  it's all it's like the scene when [TS]

  they're in the restaurant and there's [TS]

  this one and by the way if you can I can [TS]

  find you SMS dot copy of this if you [TS]

  would like with his a wonderful director [TS]

  directors commentary is a great see no [TS]

  no i've seen Brazil I've never seen with [TS]

  the objective start it i don't you just [TS]

  about had a stroke and lives I've seen [TS]

  anything literally in the entire program [TS]

  right now listen Merlin I've seen Brazil [TS]

  alright a bunch came in a moment I'm [TS]

  finally I don't think it's a big it's [TS]

  amazing [TS]

  did you read my poems but out the scene [TS]

  within the restaurant is the bombing and [TS]

  so they bring up screens like you know [TS]

  like you know folding screens to cover [TS]

  up the area where people are horribly [TS]

  injured so the Tigers don't have to see [TS]

  it very Marx Brothers but um but uh yeah [TS]

  sure i'm going with this but down here [TS]

  is that I'm gonna name five songs and [TS]

  then we should please talk about [TS]

  something else can you feel the love [TS]

  tonight by elton john from The Lion King [TS]

  all i want to do the first major hit for [TS]

  sheryl crow remember that one loser by [TS]

  beck yeah you know all i want to do is [TS]

  basically like a note for note [TS]

  production remix rain remake of a [TS]

  wha what's that song by stealers wheel [TS]

  stuck in the middle with you [TS]

  yeah if you listen to stuck in the [TS]

  middle with you and quite on that I've [TS]

  stopped because you have that Gerry [TS]

  Rafferty records because you [TS]

  yeah that journey right strategies [TS]

  diversity is full of cocaine but I'm [TS]

  telling you listen to stuck in the [TS]

  middle with you and then all i want to [TS]

  do is have some fun side by side and you [TS]

  will see that it's not it's not that she [TS]

  stole the melody but everything about [TS]

  the sound of groups like that that's [TS]

  like that's like I like a slide guitar [TS]

  kind of groove marijuana warm up as long [TS]

  as long as you're drilling me [TS]

  did you ever take Stephen Malcolm mrs. [TS]

  jennifer and the ex s dog and put it up [TS]

  against a yes pilot Smith mm don't have [TS]

  and if dates a man and sixties oh yeah [TS]

  no no it's real and join the ball may [TS]

  from the studio where that was recorded [TS]

  played in the chicks I do that I'm just [TS]

  saying she hot girl boy she got thin [TS]

  arms so anyway backs loser [TS]

  yeah I think he could Scientology's [TS]

  trying to play it off legit i'm doing [TS]

  the first the first I believe number one [TS]

  and two before your Macklemore [TS]

  Macklemore stay i miss you buy a lisa [TS]

  loeb oh right there it is by grace [TS]

  coverup and crisscrossed by the other [TS]

  guys who did what there it is [TS]

  yeah those are all this is all connects [TS]

  the song seemed old but not super old [TS]

  and they're all from the same year that [TS]

  there was a 100-day genocide in rwanda [TS]

  right so we're not talking about horse [TS]

  vessel eat here and we're talking about [TS]

  stuff that like you could hear at a [TS]

  wedding that you would remember from [TS]

  when you were in junior high [TS]

  those songs came out during the war [TS]

  rwandan genocide with 750,000 dead right [TS]

  500,000 to a million 100 days so and and [TS]

  they were not they were not out there [TS]

  with what is it the ps1 was their big [TS]

  rocket but like that anyway they were [TS]

  not they were not out there with rapidly [TS]

  increasing technologies it was all [TS]

  there's a lot of legwork if you like [TS]

  involved in in doing what they were [TS]

  doing I'm trying to say is and that's [TS]

  why that's why to me today I'm old [TS]

  enough now that when I watching for a [TS]

  little [TS]

  of god i want to end this when i watch [TS]

  something where people even like you [TS]

  much a movie like the the pianist or [TS]

  whatever you know these are these are [TS]

  people that had lives and like they had [TS]

  fancy clothes and the vinyl republic was [TS]

  really fun and like humans and you see [TS]

  like where you see like color footage of [TS]

  world war two which I think just started [TS]

  kind of coming out around the time i was [TS]

  in college and it looks completely to [TS]

  its Vietnam and it's just fresh it's as [TS]

  fresh as that it completely brings it up [TS]

  to date and so Merlin how are we going [TS]

  to stop talking about genocide way we [TS]

  don't seem to be able to shake ourselves [TS]

  from this spell do you think we should [TS]

  put a stake in the ground or we do I [TS]

  mean do it [TS]

  do we have to start playing the [TS]

  tambourine halfway through every one of [TS]

  our podcast to like are you asking me [TS]

  literally for the recording of the show [TS]

  what my opinion is I think we're burning [TS]

  or burning it off i think we were away [TS]

  for a while we had things we need to do [TS]

  with scheduling problems and I think [TS]

  about fucking a lot of Hitler got backed [TS]

  up [TS]

  we're burning it off and i think it's [TS]

  going to get back to its gonna get back [TS]

  to total fun very soon [TS]

  oh that's exciting to me because you [TS]

  know that the crows in my yard or doing [TS]

  a lot of crazy stuff [TS]

  well it looks out the window this [TS]

  morning because there were some kids [TS]

  like bouncing a basketball and I you [TS]

  know I don't like a by bouncing a [TS]

  basketball on my street unless i'm [TS]

  looking at him know and I so I open mind [TS]

  our interview are very very famous [TS]

  interview together was completely [TS]

  disrupted by one ball hippie and some [TS]

  chinese people playing basketball to [TS]

  remember that time [TS]

  oh well it's what it's like to go to my [TS]

  window this morning when the curtains [TS]

  yeah and two crows up on the on the [TS]

  telephone wire i'm looking at the kids [TS]

  at the basketball and the crow starts to [TS]

  starts to have something to say to me [TS]

  about being in the window like I'm i'm [TS]

  in the window and he's like I'm start [TS]

  with his mind bullets always liked and [TS]

  he's looking at the other crow looking [TS]

  at me I'm like again I'm in my own house [TS]

  you don't need an alert sounded on me i [TS]

  am I am vigilant one and they are they [TS]

  are being vigilant over me it was for it [TS]

  was at least four layers of vigilance [TS]

  because I'm counting at the drop coming [TS]

  down [TS]

  Thomas for well you know it's really [TS]