Ep. 83: "The Roderick Group"
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hello hey john i'm marilyn is going to
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ja don't take your love to town
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mmm god it's early 50s he is a word is
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that the worm has turned
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I just looked that phrase up not but two
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yeah German know what Shakespeare ah I
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knew that it was Shakespeare but i
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thought i thought that it meant i've
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been using of course as we all have
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forever and I thought that it meant now
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the now the jig is up now the shoes on
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the other foot now the you know what I
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mean it's like with the switcheroo has
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been pulled a switcheroo has been pulled
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that's exactly right but in fact in
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Shakespeare it means literally that even
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the worm one day will rise up if you
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insult him enough if you dance if he who
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if you step on the worm even the worm
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will turn and I i think i like that one
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I liked it better to and i was
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astonished at how how neutered the term
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had become over the centuries you know
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if you just sort of like oh the worm has
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murmur but in fact it means no the worm
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and fight you even the worm
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oh it's it's really killing its gnarly
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yeah so all of a sudden I no longer feel
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like I can use the worm has turned in
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the mundane events of my normal life I
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have just I have to save it until I am I
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mean it's like it's some shit that a
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that so that a superhero would say when
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they had almost completely been
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vanquished I don't want to talk about
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comic books but no I don't know it's a
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heavy it's a heavy i think it's good
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enough i don't know if this is the
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chrome uses the term correctly it's
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gonna keep my powder dry i like it so
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much that i'm only gonna use it a couple
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yeah yeah that's always going to be if
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I've really let's say I'm talking to
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like a doorman or something and I just
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want to say that's enough
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mmm the water my friend has turned
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except in almost every instance that i
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normally use it the other person is the
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worm and now I'm realizing i am i'm
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basically calling their I'm calm I'm
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singing their their anthem and in fact I
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should let them say the now serve the
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that's about the security guard you know
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in which every episode that was she
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should have said the worm has turned
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you're a lot like Samuel Jackson in so
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many ways in Pulp Fiction you know where
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at the end he you know he's been saying
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that bible verse over and over and he
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realized it means something else he said
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now that's right i just realized the
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worm has turned is some cold-blooded
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yeah exactly and he's going through a
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transitional period
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yeah yeah that's right he's the baby's
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late may be laying his guns down
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you're kind of going through it right
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your kind of a kind of worm is turning
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into a butterfly
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I'm feeling I'm you know I've been
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laying my guns down lately and I really
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don't know what's going to come of it
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someone wrote me a very nice letter the
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other day saying you know I think that
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people's the we all joke like that this
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podcast is helpful to people but then
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there's the there's the next level with
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which is people saying all kidding aside
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it really does help and then there's the
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you know their multiple levels of
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are you really kidding there's people
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checking our word shorts that's not
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really kidding aside
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yeah there's people that are mad at us
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for every other thing we say yeah you
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know I got a lot of that only talk about
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the show on the show but I i saw a lot
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of nice response to that too it's it's
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almost like you're your follow-up on the
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well stroll in some ways I just like to
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congratulate cut all this out that well
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but but uh but I got a lot of got a nice
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letter from somebody saying that you
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should you should legitimately like
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compile your thoughts into some kind of
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volume because if they if those thoughts
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were all in one place that would be a
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very helpful manual for people natural
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do agree I agree with that
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well no and this is the problem up
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because i am i'm more and more all the
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time i am announcing my own code in the
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sense that I although well this is the
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problem although people are terrible
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drivers and although they are bad
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citizens and although they need
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corrective measures and many many many
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many many people every day should get a
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light punch in the nose some should get
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a stronger punch in the nose but i but I
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no longer feel confident that that may
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be history isn't against us like that
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that what seems to us to be a passing
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phase which is that this that the
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culture is like so concerned with in the
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in the parlance of merlin mann like
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where's my parade this like where's my
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parade culture and the and the egg like
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overwhelming focus on rights that are
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being infringed upon and and you know
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like a constant kind of licking of our
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wounds and and doubling down on our like
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our Pete you know like p IQ you e huh
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but it seems like with every passing day
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this is the language now this is the way
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that people think
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and speak that the the the insidious in
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the summit doesn't doesn't mean that it
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isn't the new truth and more and more I
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feel like I don't want to be on the
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wrong side of history even if I feel
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like history has turned to turn wrong
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like I I need to be able to i need to be
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able to say to people like that there's
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a better way or there's a more elegant
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way without just without fuming so much
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you know what I mean I feel like I feel
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like a fume and that that isn't that
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isn't am what at an infertile response
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to anything really fuming is the is the
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most neutered response and I need to be
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more active and I don't and I so I have
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to engage have to engage this culture on
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its terms and I resent it
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well you know the attitude that you have
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had fairly recently historically makes
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um if if you're in a in a club and
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somebody slaps you with a white glove
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your entire and you like you're totally
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entitled to get that person to punch in
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it's just it's like a lot of people who
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don't really know you are emailing your
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gloves and that doesn't scale well and
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also like I like it seems almost like
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the like the kind of apocryphal guy who
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who believes in a gentleman's handshake
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and then the unscrupulous developer
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shows up with bulldozers and tears down
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because the guy didn't read the fine
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print and although we all agree that the
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guy who didn't begin the guy who
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believes in a in a gentleman's agreement
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is like morally ethically the hero of
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that of that poem he still got his house
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torn down and he still is
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you know like you have to learn the you
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have to learn to read the fine print it
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seems like now more and more the fine
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print is oversensitivity hyper
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consciousness of language to the
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exclusion of meaning and uh you know and
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a complete focus on the surface of the
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the surface like realms of umbrage and
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insult and very little interest in the
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it in general ism and in well that's
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that's what sells
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I mean it's you know why don't you but
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the but these are these are the college
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kids these are the kids that used to sit
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in and debate mean even 20 years ago sit
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and debate the finer points of yeah but
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there's a part of the problem with that
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is that right now are transgender rights
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are indistinguishable from liking
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android and people want to have the same
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kind of you know incredibly heated
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argument that goes nowhere basically
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comes down to i wish more people agree
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to be like me and and that is generally
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not a fruitful way to go and I think
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history is boring that out part of the
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problem with the parade thing in my
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opinion is that you know if you want to
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parade go start your own fucking parade
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and don't care who comes and don't care
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who likes it or not that's that that is
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you know where thats empowerment
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empowerment is not sitting around and
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waiting for people to use the right word
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to make you feel like a whole human it's
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going out and living your life the way
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that you want and being imperturbable
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about the people who see you is less
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than you want to be and and there's no
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amount of parsing language is going to
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fucking improve that it's just it can't
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maybe in time everybody will evolve with
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the best way for that to evolve as
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everybody who wants to be in that parade
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all walking in the same direction
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don't worry about it likes it or not
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yeah unfortunately if I had chosen to
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well if I have if I had chosen in
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college to be an electrical engineer i
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would take the job John that isn't it
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how it's a good paying job I would be
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now living in a culture of Engineers
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specifically electrical engineers and
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within the within our flights right
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that's like being the car radio dr.
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official engineer within our culture us
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electrical engineers sitting around at
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are drafting tables and our autocad
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terminals and you know whatever our bar
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function machines the culture of our of
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our profession in our our side of the
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world you know generally electrical
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engineers tend to be very
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process-oriented and you know and and
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within that I would be able to pretty
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much adopt you know with whatever kind
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of worldview I wanted to and and
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maintain it regardless
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irrespective of what the outside world
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is doing because I'm living in my
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electrical engineer igloo or my my
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Trapper minor trappers ball gang or
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whatever but you know i have chosen to
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be someone who is engaged with the
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culture specifically the leftist culture
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not just in America but in the world and
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the progressive you know i have chosen
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to be a progressive this is the problem
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i have chosen to be a progressive I am
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NOT a long time I am a person who is who
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spent his whole life engaged in the in
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the culture of ideas and this is the
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this is where the culture of ideas seems
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to be trending and I mean you know so
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often I get letters or you and I get
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letters from people who work in
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and who appreciate what we do and yet at
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the end of the at the end of the page
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they always feel very good naturedly
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like they need to just kind of add like
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one little tag sentence one little tag
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at the end saying something about you
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know how we need to take more feminist
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theory classes or how ping pong is this
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ping-pong or whatever you know some
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little just like good-natured but still
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pointed lecture that we're doing it
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wrong and and all you know and it's all
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it always comes from the same place that
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we are we that the they love that we are
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thinking outside of the of the the
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mental block or the the mental apartment
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blocks but that in the end they're also
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confident that that we're doing it wrong
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that we are that that we are at that
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joke racism isn't funny that that joke
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that joking isn't funny when it is about
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these uber serious topics of identity
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and like and pick
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because I'm because i have chosen
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progressivism as my language like I
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can't make myself involved horrible to
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that you know what I mean like I can't
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say you don't get it you're not you
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don't dig it like you're not hip or
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whatever like i have to engage
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progressives on their turf and but don't
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you I mean there must be things that you
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enjoy except for this one thing it's
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just that you don't feel the need to i'm
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not trying to sound ungrateful for
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somebody and liking it I mean I I can
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speak for myself it's just it doesn't
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bother me because it's everybody's
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entitled to an opinion for sure and it's
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nice that people want to make some kind
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of connection but take to maybe maybe to
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your point I think I you know I'm not
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crazy about that word brand but it's
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hard to get away from we have a personal
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brand about how we want the world to see
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us and what things we choose you choose
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to associate ourselves with and part of
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brand is in some ways story and his
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first story to make sense it has to have
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a beginning a middle and an end and the
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stories that we tell ourselves have to
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make sense and they have to not have
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plot holes and the rebranding because
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when you have a story in your head about
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how something goes your beer as much as
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you might really enjoy something or
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really you know not just this but
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whatever it might be something you
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really enjoy but you know when you find
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out the dome lawyers drove drunk you
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can't help but have that like not sit
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right in your head if you turn it over
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because it doesn't fit the story doesn't
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fit the brand i think that's what it is
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and I think that gets heavily amplified
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on the web and social media interactions
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because that's this we don't you know we
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stopped noticing you know the huge
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amount of DNA that has us similar
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meaning mostly you know people who can
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afford to have a computer and an
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internet connection and it goes into
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that narcissism of minor differences
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about this one thing we can't reconcile
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in that story and that's what people get
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fixated on and you know and that's
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integration sit around singing Kumbayah
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I'm saying just you know it can be just
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like do their own thing to be fucked up
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and have that be ok
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like it's white what why do you know ill
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there's always been bad parties and
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we've always had the ability to walk
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you know you you need a better class of
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people and your races friend you and
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your racist friend nothing if I seem a
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little distracted these cuts there
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beeping when i first moved into this
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house my neighbors said you gotta get an
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alarm have to get an alarm for your
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house because there are a lot of
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Breaking and enterings and I was like
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mmm yeah I have my own security system
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in the form of Tiger traps
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it's in the umbrella stand by the book
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but but they were like no no you know
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like a good friend of mine his house got
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broken into like three times and he has
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dogs and i think that the feeds just
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like actually threw some steaks up on
[TS]
◼
►
the porch the dogs ran out on the porch
[TS]
◼
►
to get the stakes let's see mister the
[TS]
◼
►
cat ran in shut the door behind the dogs
[TS]
◼
►
and then took everything and so I was
[TS]
◼
►
like okay I'm gonna get an alarm system
[TS]
◼
►
but then it and then it was that's that
[TS]
◼
►
same process that you go through anytime
[TS]
◼
►
you want a service now just like
[TS]
◼
►
ordering the heart rate of phone or the
[TS]
◼
►
internet or whatever it's like a whole
[TS]
◼
►
menu of different expect you know
[TS]
◼
►
different services and attendant charges
[TS]
◼
►
none of them are the right the menu is
[TS]
◼
►
never right it's like wait a minute
[TS]
◼
►
it's like the Wright brothers when i get
[TS]
◼
►
like looking in the age of paper planes
[TS]
◼
►
and bicycle engine it is I thought about
[TS]
◼
►
doing that and i found it was like
[TS]
◼
►
buying an Adobe product it was
[TS]
◼
►
completely inscrutable the options and
[TS]
◼
►
the names and the features and benefits
[TS]
◼
►
i find it totally overwhelming it's the
[TS]
◼
►
worst and it's a you know I cancelled my
[TS]
◼
►
cable because I was insulted that
[TS]
◼
►
internet cost whatever it costs a
[TS]
◼
►
hundred dollars and cable was five
[TS]
◼
►
dollars extra it's like why I don't
[TS]
◼
►
subscribe to the new york times because
[TS]
◼
►
they're like the sunday New York Times
[TS]
◼
►
eight dollars of dollars a month and
[TS]
◼
►
then you can get it every single day of
[TS]
◼
►
the week for eight dollars and
[TS]
◼
►
twenty-five cents you're like fuck you
[TS]
◼
►
you know what that's just that I think
[TS]
◼
►
that's right it's User so but but my
[TS]
◼
►
friends were like you got to get this
[TS]
◼
►
alarm system so i got an alarm so
[TS]
◼
►
system installed but I don't have a
[TS]
◼
►
landline so yeah I had to get an alarm
[TS]
◼
►
system that was cell phone-based so when
[TS]
◼
►
somebody breaks into your house it over
[TS]
◼
►
the seller for your convenience over the
[TS]
◼
►
cellular wires it sends an alert and I
[TS]
◼
►
knew that it was I knew that it was a
[TS]
◼
►
placebo you know I knew that this thing
[TS]
◼
►
would never protect me from burglary or
[TS]
◼
►
from fire from anything but it was a
[TS]
◼
►
thing that every time I leave the house
[TS]
◼
►
I push the buttons on the wall
[TS]
◼
►
it gives me a reassuring series of beeps
[TS]
◼
►
and I walk out of the house secure in
[TS]
◼
►
the knowledge that there is a fake thing
[TS]
◼
►
guarding my house and that that that
[TS]
◼
►
that this fake thing is going to act
[TS]
◼
►
somehow as a deterrent against whatever
[TS]
◼
►
like methi burglar once in my house but
[TS]
◼
►
but I knew the whole time it is a
[TS]
◼
►
cheap-ass system if it went off
[TS]
◼
►
none of my neighbors would hear it let
[TS]
◼
►
alone respond to it
[TS]
◼
►
the company itself probably probably the
[TS]
◼
►
alarm would there be so many dropped
[TS]
◼
►
calls that it would take 20 minutes to
[TS]
◼
►
send the message and then the cops would
[TS]
◼
►
be here four hours later but just
[TS]
◼
►
recently the alarm has decided after 45
[TS]
◼
►
years of being in my house that it is
[TS]
◼
►
having a malfunction and now it just
[TS]
◼
►
beeps at random times and i called the
[TS]
◼
►
company and went through a whole process
[TS]
◼
►
with the put their customer service
[TS]
◼
►
she tried everything she could to fix it
[TS]
◼
►
from a from a long distance to no avail
[TS]
◼
►
and now it wakes me up in the middle of
[TS]
◼
►
the night right now it's beeping
[TS]
◼
►
downstairs eat and I feel like I not
[TS]
◼
►
only do I feel like ripping it out of
[TS]
◼
►
the wall but I feel like ripping I feel
[TS]
◼
►
like ripping like America out of the
[TS]
◼
►
wall you know there's there there
[TS]
◼
►
this is the model that this company has
[TS]
◼
►
this company knows that it is a shit
[TS]
◼
►
service for for the for those keeping
[TS]
◼
►
track it is called monitronics that is
[TS]
◼
►
the name on the tracks at a local
[TS]
◼
►
company or no it is not it so it's one
[TS]
◼
►
of these like it's a it's a national
[TS]
◼
►
company it is probably owned by a series
[TS]
◼
►
of offshore shell companies and and
[TS]
◼
►
ultimately it is owned by General
[TS]
◼
►
Electric or by album it's probably owned
[TS]
◼
►
by Albert and it is it is a it's a
[TS]
◼
►
pyramid scheme kind of company where
[TS]
◼
►
they are true what they're trying to do
[TS]
◼
►
is get more customers all the time
[TS]
◼
►
they're not trying to provide service
[TS]
◼
►
you know like they're out there just
[TS]
◼
►
just steps just like going going door to
[TS]
◼
►
door trying to recruit people into their
[TS]
◼
►
listen to that it doesn't really do it
[TS]
◼
►
that often is it really going that often
[TS]
◼
►
well it is never done this before
[TS]
◼
►
until I sat down to do this podcast and
[TS]
◼
►
all the sudden I was like that thing
[TS]
◼
►
just beeped out twice and now it's it's
[TS]
◼
►
every I think it's happening every 45
[TS]
◼
►
seconds be mindful right and that's and
[TS]
◼
►
so right now it's like it is really
[TS]
◼
►
keeping me in the present but but but
[TS]
◼
►
it's an example like I remember you
[TS]
◼
►
remember when I when I left verizon and
[TS]
◼
►
I had been on verizon the verizon had my
[TS]
◼
►
first cell phone and I was on verizon
[TS]
◼
►
for eight years or something like that
[TS]
◼
►
and I wanted to get an iphone and they
[TS]
◼
►
didn't have it and I said to the lady
[TS]
◼
►
and I called him up and I was like I've
[TS]
◼
►
been on month-to-month for like five
[TS]
◼
►
years now I'm canceling my service
[TS]
◼
►
because i want to get an iphone and I
[TS]
◼
►
have to go to AT&T I don't like them any
[TS]
◼
►
better but i but I want to I want to I
[TS]
◼
►
want to make this move
[TS]
◼
►
and she said well you came in a year and
[TS]
◼
►
a half ago because you dropped your
[TS]
◼
►
phone in the bathtub and at that time
[TS]
◼
►
you signed a new contract and so you're
[TS]
◼
►
not on month-to-month you are under
[TS]
◼
►
contract to us and it's going to cost
[TS]
◼
►
you three hundred dollars to get out of
[TS]
◼
►
this contract I was like I did no such
[TS]
◼
►
thing I dropped my phone in the tub and
[TS]
◼
►
i came in and i paid someone and she's
[TS]
◼
►
in Russia can that you didn't read the
[TS]
◼
►
fine print didn't read the fine print
[TS]
◼
►
and they did not you know that there
[TS]
◼
►
that's their game they didn't tell me
[TS]
◼
►
that I was signing a new contract they
[TS]
◼
►
said well we give you this brand new
[TS]
◼
►
phone for only twenty-five dollars and I
[TS]
◼
►
was like shocks you guys are nice and so
[TS]
◼
►
I was so mad and I'm talking to this
[TS]
◼
►
woman on the phone and I was like this
[TS]
◼
►
is your idea of customer service like
[TS]
◼
►
I'll never use verizon again and she
[TS]
◼
►
said quite wisely you are calling to
[TS]
◼
►
cancel your verizon service
[TS]
◼
►
why what I think you were going to use
[TS]
◼
►
verizon again and ice and I I thought
[TS]
◼
►
about a person I was like you know life
[TS]
◼
►
is long lady like there's there's
[TS]
◼
►
another 50 years of me interacting with
[TS]
◼
►
phone companies and you are you're
[TS]
◼
►
you're you're like you're burning this
[TS]
◼
►
bridge right now with me over some
[TS]
◼
►
couple hundred bucks but that's here you
[TS]
◼
►
know that's your attitude and your
[TS]
◼
►
attitude is that next next time you'll
[TS]
◼
►
have the iphone and then I'll just like
[TS]
◼
►
a little patient lamb i'll just be led
[TS]
◼
►
over to be tied up at your Corral that
[TS]
◼
►
was kind of a tortured metaphor
[TS]
◼
►
yeah I anyway so this miss monitronics
[TS]
◼
►
thing and I just I feel like I don't
[TS]
◼
►
know it's a i'm back to wanting to put a
[TS]
◼
►
flamethrower to everybody and I'm I just
[TS]
◼
►
don't feel like that's I can't continue
[TS]
◼
►
to be my my method
[TS]
◼
►
well ma I i like that continues sounding
[TS]
◼
►
very sage and and and distant from these
[TS]
◼
►
things about it that much mean
[TS]
◼
►
incredibly emotional it makes me want to
[TS]
◼
►
tear America out of the wall and because
[TS]
◼
►
every single one of the shit storm
[TS]
◼
►
there's not one of them that you can get
[TS]
◼
►
mobbed up with it's going to be good i
[TS]
◼
►
mean ask how many people you see walking
[TS]
◼
►
around in a verizon sure
[TS]
◼
►
and being really happy like he just
[TS]
◼
►
doesn't have the verizon tattoo sure
[TS]
◼
►
what it's all your eyes and can judge me
[TS]
◼
►
it's all the startups down in San
[TS]
◼
►
Francisco just like disruptive to shovel
[TS]
◼
►
that shit out the door and then you know
[TS]
◼
►
and let people let you know just like
[TS]
◼
►
let people deal with it i guess and
[TS]
◼
►
we'll we'll have we'll have our we'll
[TS]
◼
►
have our hundred million dollars and
[TS]
◼
►
will be under the next garbage pile i
[TS]
◼
►
had a similar calling experience as long
[TS]
◼
►
as we're talking about customer service
[TS]
◼
►
really get back to food & parenting but
[TS]
◼
►
Deion this one's really killed me
[TS]
◼
►
I at some point something happened I
[TS]
◼
►
don't know later on I want to like do
[TS]
◼
►
something different with my myphone find
[TS]
◼
►
out if i'm eligible for a thing and they
[TS]
◼
►
go oh well you know your seems you you
[TS]
◼
►
actually you just reach up your contract
[TS]
◼
►
you know a few months ago and I was like
[TS]
◼
►
oh my like what an auto- thing and like
[TS]
◼
►
you know you each you know when you you
[TS]
◼
►
changed your options
[TS]
◼
►
I asked you to drip login pin close even
[TS]
◼
►
better i added a service i add a
[TS]
◼
►
tethering so that I could use my phone
[TS]
◼
►
you know to to connect you know using
[TS]
◼
►
the ipad i could tether my phone so I i
[TS]
◼
►
asked them to charge me extra for
[TS]
◼
►
something that's really pretty much
[TS]
◼
►
invisible non-service and that renewed
[TS]
◼
►
my contract with them which it yeah but
[TS]
◼
►
that's really gracious of them to you
[TS]
◼
►
know but you know you pay for it and
[TS]
◼
►
then you get that and you know that's
[TS]
◼
►
like the whole thing you know that the
[TS]
◼
►
part that I can't reconcile on this
[TS]
◼
►
story is that like I really wish I could
[TS]
◼
►
just deal with people and have a
[TS]
◼
►
relationship that didn't feel like I
[TS]
◼
►
constantly have to monitor like exactly
[TS]
◼
►
how and when I'm being fucked
[TS]
◼
►
yeah it and whether that's something
[TS]
◼
►
like a company who keeps emailing me
[TS]
◼
►
stuff even though I never signed up for
[TS]
◼
►
anything Jonny silly stuff like that but
[TS]
◼
►
I mean you know you think about what you
[TS]
◼
►
pay for phone it really really adds up
[TS]
◼
►
and it makes me it makes my world small
[TS]
◼
►
because i do stuff like right now I have
[TS]
◼
►
my phone forward to google voice just
[TS]
◼
►
because I don't get real phone calls
[TS]
◼
►
yeah the vast majority of calls that I
[TS]
◼
►
get like this afternoon i got a phone
[TS]
◼
►
call I don't know what it's about i
[TS]
◼
►
don't speak spanish i think it might be
[TS]
◼
►
about 35 mortgages you don't have a
[TS]
◼
►
I got a phone domino's I get you know I
[TS]
◼
►
had a guy come and fix my aunt problem i
[TS]
◼
►
finally had a disturbing that's great
[TS]
◼
►
well wait wait for it like the guy cums
[TS]
◼
►
he's like and the woman on the phone I
[TS]
◼
►
said how much is a costume and she says
[TS]
◼
►
well answer really hard to eradicate
[TS]
◼
►
will have a guy come out with a free
[TS]
◼
►
estimate was like a free estimate so the
[TS]
◼
►
guy comes out and of course like he
[TS]
◼
►
comes out at eight thirty in the morning
[TS]
◼
►
and I have somewhere to be that one did
[TS]
◼
►
I have somewhere to be that one day at
[TS]
◼
►
nine you know 915 and I'm like alright
[TS]
◼
►
alright let's hurry this along like what
[TS]
◼
►
what's the story and he's like oh yeah
[TS]
◼
►
you got ants all right I said yeah how
[TS]
◼
►
much how much you get rid of the ants
[TS]
◼
►
and he was like well it's a 275 dollar
[TS]
◼
►
process uh and I was like fine you know
[TS]
◼
►
what you're here i'm not going to
[TS]
◼
►
comparison shop i'm not going to send
[TS]
◼
►
you away get rid of the ants and like
[TS]
◼
►
like let's let's get this happening the
[TS]
◼
►
ants have been driving me crazy all
[TS]
◼
►
summer and so he pulls out this
[TS]
◼
►
paperwork and he's like all right well
[TS]
◼
►
let's get you signed up for a plan i'll
[TS]
◼
►
come on i was like what what you're
[TS]
◼
►
you're an exterminator like you either
[TS]
◼
►
you got dirt on the knees your pants
[TS]
◼
►
what would talk about what's right there
[TS]
◼
►
in the name once you get rid of the
[TS]
◼
►
answer i don't need a plan
[TS]
◼
►
he says answer really hard to get rid of
[TS]
◼
►
usually what happens is we kill the ants
[TS]
◼
►
then they come back always helping you
[TS]
◼
►
and if you if we signed up for a plan
[TS]
◼
►
that every time we come back it's just a
[TS]
◼
►
$79 charge but if we don't if we don't
[TS]
◼
►
send you up for a plan then every time
[TS]
◼
►
we come back you have to charge $300
[TS]
◼
►
again and I was like so what's the plan
[TS]
◼
►
he was like well the plan is for forty
[TS]
◼
►
nine dollars a month we keep the ants
[TS]
◼
►
I was like soon so every six months i'm
[TS]
◼
►
paying for a visit essentially i pay you
[TS]
◼
►
forty nine dollars a month forever or
[TS]
◼
►
until at what point do you feel like
[TS]
◼
►
it's cut you you are confident that they
[TS]
◼
►
won't come back and he's like well ants
[TS]
◼
►
are really hard to eradicate
[TS]
◼
►
and I was like listen man i did not i
[TS]
◼
►
had you here to kill Samantha I did not
[TS]
◼
►
think I was joining a club or or a cult
[TS]
◼
►
or whatever whatever you think whatever
[TS]
◼
►
kind of thing this is like a plan
[TS]
◼
►
seriously you think i'm going to sign up
[TS]
◼
►
and have you just like auto deduct 50
[TS]
◼
►
bucks a month and and you hope that I
[TS]
◼
►
I mean that's what they all do that's
[TS]
◼
►
that that's the whole business model now
[TS]
◼
►
half of american companies their
[TS]
◼
►
business model is let's hope they've
[TS]
◼
►
let's hope they sign up for direct pay
[TS]
◼
►
and forget about i think yeah I think
[TS]
◼
►
recurring revenue is really huge
[TS]
◼
►
incorporate in there yeah right so i
[TS]
◼
►
would just sit here like a like a you
[TS]
◼
►
know like a milk cow for the next 20
[TS]
◼
►
years while this company is just like oh
[TS]
◼
►
you know we have you just 50 bucks a
[TS]
◼
►
month in the hands never come back and
[TS]
◼
►
I'm like wow I'm so lucky it's just like
[TS]
◼
►
so the guy killed the ants
[TS]
◼
►
it's been two weeks i haven't seen aunt
[TS]
◼
►
but i'm starting to wonder whether the
[TS]
◼
►
ants aren't but there's not i mean i
[TS]
◼
►
wouldn't be I wouldn't be surprised to
[TS]
◼
►
catch that guy in my bushes with the
[TS]
◼
►
bucket advanced yeah I'm answer
[TS]
◼
►
complicated problem John nobody really
[TS]
◼
►
knows where it's come from i went out
[TS]
◼
►
the other day and there were ants I saw
[TS]
◼
►
hive advance in my I saw hi Vance in my
[TS]
◼
►
driveway and I went in the house it was
[TS]
◼
►
that they were the same lands when in
[TS]
◼
►
the House very patiently put the mail in
[TS]
◼
►
my mail jar i put the keys in the key
[TS]
◼
►
cup took my coat off took my shoes off
[TS]
◼
►
put on my loafers put on my cardigan
[TS]
◼
►
sweater went into the kitchen boiled a
[TS]
◼
►
pot of boiling water
[TS]
◼
►
when the water was boiling hot I carried
[TS]
◼
►
it out into the driveway and I poured
[TS]
◼
►
the boiling water down the and whole uu
[TS]
◼
►
she should offer to do that for other
[TS]
◼
►
people it was fifty dollars a month it
[TS]
◼
►
was total carnage
[TS]
◼
►
I'll i heard good i heard a million
[TS]
◼
►
souls screaming out all at once
[TS]
◼
►
yeah and then go silent and I I felt no
[TS]
◼
►
remorse i felt only at Pikeville only
[TS]
◼
►
piece we were driving back from my
[TS]
◼
►
sister-in-law's yesterday and listening
[TS]
◼
►
we listen to pretend to fall all the way
[TS]
◼
►
through and at some point turned around
[TS]
◼
►
and said why don't you know that that's
[TS]
◼
►
that's Uncle John you should just know
[TS]
◼
►
that in my household you are known for
[TS]
◼
►
doing something podcasting with me she
[TS]
◼
►
knows that my daughter and you know we
[TS]
◼
►
played your records a lot but mainly
[TS]
◼
►
what she knows you for something that
[TS]
◼
►
she can recite from memory which is also
[TS]
◼
►
sometimes say so what are we going to do
[TS]
◼
►
and she says you go outside and take off
[TS]
◼
►
your clothes and throw garbage can
[TS]
◼
►
through the window and you set the place
[TS]
◼
►
on fire haha that that that is what you
[TS]
◼
►
are known for that but that is your
[TS]
◼
►
claim to fame in our home but your
[TS]
◼
►
reason I'm right we went to that place
[TS]
◼
►
that I when you first suggested that as
[TS]
◼
►
a palliative for dealing with the stuff
[TS]
◼
►
on her burger last time we went to that
[TS]
◼
►
place here in our neighborhood to get
[TS]
◼
►
her a burger i said i looked and looked
[TS]
◼
►
in the woman's eyes said I said this is
[TS]
◼
►
my daughter she's five
[TS]
◼
►
it's very very important that when you
[TS]
◼
►
make her burger it have exactly three
[TS]
◼
►
things on it it should have some bread
[TS]
◼
►
in the form of a bunt it should have a
[TS]
◼
►
meat burger and should have cheese and
[TS]
◼
►
there should be absolutely nothing else
[TS]
◼
►
on there that's it and then of course
[TS]
◼
►
daughter indicated to her what would
[TS]
◼
►
happen if they got her she said that
[TS]
◼
►
yeah she says or we're gonna go outside
[TS]
◼
►
take off our clothes for garbage can
[TS]
◼
►
through the window and set the place on
[TS]
◼
►
fire haha i said nah she's not really
[TS]
◼
►
gonna do know who kids say the darndest
[TS]
◼
►
things you know the thing about stories
[TS]
◼
►
John you know we get to tell our own
[TS]
◼
►
story for a while but if the story is
[TS]
◼
►
really good eventually it's not our own
[TS]
◼
►
more it becomes somebody else's story
[TS]
◼
►
that's right it goes out into the stream
[TS]
◼
►
down or returns worms we've got analysts
[TS]
◼
►
right think they're animals at the
[TS]
◼
►
phylum get worms she got ants I think I
[TS]
◼
►
just morally in biology
[TS]
◼
►
I find that hard to believe oh my
[TS]
◼
►
goodness i was telling my lady today how
[TS]
◼
►
when I was in seventh grade was a
[TS]
◼
►
military school I have perfect grades
[TS]
◼
►
and perfect department had straight a's
[TS]
◼
►
like a lot of people and I had was the
[TS]
◼
►
only person in my entire company in
[TS]
◼
►
military school that didn't have a
[TS]
◼
►
demerit all year
[TS]
◼
►
wow yeah whatever this really hundred
[TS]
◼
►
twenty kids or something yeah you're
[TS]
◼
►
born again hard mmm i was scared and I
[TS]
◼
►
was yeah and then i went to consumer
[TS]
◼
►
math in 8th grade and so it's pretty
[TS]
◼
►
much all downhill from there
[TS]
◼
►
you know I reflect often on my my cadet
[TS]
◼
►
years in the Civil Air Patrol and and I
[TS]
◼
►
you know I think they're there were
[TS]
◼
►
there were a couple of points along the
[TS]
◼
►
way where I could have right my life
[TS]
◼
►
could have gone a very different route
[TS]
◼
►
but but uh you know I was in the Civil
[TS]
◼
►
Air Patrol in Alaska in the seventies
[TS]
◼
►
and most of the facilities that we were
[TS]
◼
►
afforded by the air force at the time
[TS]
◼
►
were either built well generally had
[TS]
◼
►
been built in world war two like we that
[TS]
◼
►
if the Air Force built a new building
[TS]
◼
►
they moved into it and they abandoned
[TS]
◼
►
the old world war two building and then
[TS]
◼
►
the Civil Air Patrol was you know given
[TS]
◼
►
access to these kind of shabby places
[TS]
◼
►
and so there was that kind of weird
[TS]
◼
►
military mothball smell to everything
[TS]
◼
►
and a kind of you know like the doors
[TS]
◼
►
all shut really solidly but there was a
[TS]
◼
►
sense there was a sense that there was
[TS]
◼
►
black mold in the walls and it did not
[TS]
◼
►
none of it filled me with a feeling that
[TS]
◼
►
the that that pursuing a career in the
[TS]
◼
►
military was like going to be a safe and
[TS]
◼
►
developing environment you know what I
[TS]
◼
►
mean it was it felt very it was always
[TS]
◼
►
very cold in those places and
[TS]
◼
►
not unfriendly but but like
[TS]
◼
►
disinterested that was the thing being
[TS]
◼
►
on a military base as a as a as a young
[TS]
◼
►
kid or as a as a person in his early
[TS]
◼
►
teens the they were completely
[TS]
◼
►
disinterested in me in my thoughts in
[TS]
◼
►
who I was like I was being judged
[TS]
◼
►
entirely on how on you know obviously
[TS]
◼
►
done on the conformity how well you know
[TS]
◼
►
my department exactly as you say and I
[TS]
◼
►
didn't i guess i didn't whatever it is
[TS]
◼
►
that people find in the military culture
[TS]
◼
►
the-the-the-the like they they want the
[TS]
◼
►
challenge or they you know they want to
[TS]
◼
►
excel or succeed in a realm where
[TS]
◼
►
excellence is measure a bowl
[TS]
◼
►
you know those things were not
[TS]
◼
►
communicated to me in an appealing way
[TS]
◼
►
and I just I just always felt like a
[TS]
◼
►
strange in that environment and I and
[TS]
◼
►
and although i was the biggest military
[TS]
◼
►
like army nutcase as a kid I I didn't
[TS]
◼
►
you know I and and I went into that
[TS]
◼
►
cadet program with this but the real
[TS]
◼
►
passion for it I kind of came out the
[TS]
◼
►
other side not not disillusion but just
[TS]
◼
►
disaffected like it sounds like it
[TS]
◼
►
wasn't a good cultural fit it wasn't and
[TS]
◼
►
that was even before I mean it's not
[TS]
◼
►
like I went to boot camp and said wait a
[TS]
◼
►
minute this where there's no room in
[TS]
◼
►
here for my artistic sensibility you
[TS]
◼
►
know i was i was 12 and I guess I guess
[TS]
◼
►
what it ended up being was that I just
[TS]
◼
►
didn't get off on it and I watched other
[TS]
◼
►
kids really get off on it but I kind of
[TS]
◼
►
you know my dad was a member of another
[TS]
◼
►
organization so you he was a he was a
[TS]
◼
►
colonel in the Civil Air Patrol because
[TS]
◼
►
he was the wing legal officer and that
[TS]
◼
►
believe it or not to wear a white
[TS]
◼
►
turtleneck as its uniform
[TS]
◼
►
well what a white turtleneck with up
[TS]
◼
►
with a blue blazer and like a nothing
[TS]
◼
►
like a kernel of spanish language
[TS]
◼
►
literature it with it was incredible he
[TS]
◼
►
was the only one of everybody else was
[TS]
◼
►
in the Air Force uniforms and he was in
[TS]
◼
►
this white turtleneck with a blue blazer
[TS]
◼
►
and then a crest like a like a I think
[TS]
◼
►
it looks so good in that right an eagle
[TS]
◼
►
grasping a propeller in gold braid on
[TS]
◼
►
his on the pocket of his jacket he would
[TS]
◼
►
it was such a badass but and and you
[TS]
◼
►
know courses wing legal officer like
[TS]
◼
►
everything my dad did he assumed that
[TS]
◼
►
eighty percent of the rules of the
[TS]
◼
►
organization didn't apply to him
[TS]
◼
►
this is emmanuel headed to private train
[TS]
◼
►
car from its employees but my dad was
[TS]
◼
►
also a member of a of a secret
[TS]
◼
►
organization called the quiet Birdman
[TS]
◼
►
the same as much as you can say is this
[TS]
◼
►
aviation-related that's correct the
[TS]
◼
►
quiet Berman was an organization founded
[TS]
◼
►
after World War one
[TS]
◼
►
founded by like former World War one
[TS]
◼
►
fighter aces and it was a group that
[TS]
◼
►
started meeting in some italian
[TS]
◼
►
restaurant in New York City you know in
[TS]
◼
►
and it was a it was a group that you
[TS]
◼
►
could not join you had to be you had to
[TS]
◼
►
be tapped yet to be invited by the
[TS]
◼
►
current membership and then once you
[TS]
◼
►
were tapped you were a life member and I
[TS]
◼
►
think it only costs a dollar to join and
[TS]
◼
►
then you have you were a life member and
[TS]
◼
►
like Eddie Rickenbacker and Charles
[TS]
◼
►
Limburger members and neil armstrong I
[TS]
◼
►
mean it's one of these groups of loud
[TS]
◼
►
Gordon Cooper no one no they don't they
[TS]
◼
►
don't talk about it you're not supposed
[TS]
◼
►
to talk about the quiet Birdman that I
[TS]
◼
►
really cool I keycard to well yeah and I
[TS]
◼
►
so this is the thing I still have my
[TS]
◼
►
dad's all my dad's quiet Birdman stuff
[TS]
◼
►
and I've talked to other children of
[TS]
◼
►
quiet Birdman service Africans who have
[TS]
◼
►
path who have passed on to the next
[TS]
◼
►
dimension of flown into up into the
[TS]
◼
►
clouds and not come down and they have
[TS]
◼
►
they claim that when their fathers died
[TS]
◼
►
someone from the quiet Birdman showed up
[TS]
◼
►
and collected the membership card and
[TS]
◼
►
all their paraphernalia
[TS]
◼
►
so that didn't happen in my case and and
[TS]
◼
►
I challenge any listener who is a member
[TS]
◼
►
of the quiet Birdman to try and come get
[TS]
◼
►
we're gonna you're ready to go
[TS]
◼
►
nose-to-nose with the old monitronics
[TS]
◼
►
that's right here ready to be ready
[TS]
◼
►
people if you're ready to deal with with
[TS]
◼
►
the the grab 45-second beeping come at
[TS]
◼
►
me come at me bro what's up
[TS]
◼
►
so quiet permit so my dad would go to
[TS]
◼
►
these quiet Birdman meetings and of
[TS]
◼
►
course in Alaska there are a lot of
[TS]
◼
►
quiet Birdman because that's where old
[TS]
◼
►
astronauts go to retire and he would go
[TS]
◼
►
off to these meetings and I would you
[TS]
◼
►
know was like it was like he was with
[TS]
◼
►
his fraternity i would say you know why
[TS]
◼
►
don't you show me the fight gamma delta
[TS]
◼
►
handshake and he would say never he
[TS]
◼
►
never did I i asked him on his deathbed
[TS]
◼
►
to show me his fraternity handshake and
[TS]
◼
►
he said no chance it for him
[TS]
◼
►
it died with it oh but the quiet Birdman
[TS]
◼
►
he was even more secretive about and I
[TS]
◼
►
was like what happens at those meetings
[TS]
◼
►
he said and we just said get everybody
[TS]
◼
►
out everybody else gets drunk and then
[TS]
◼
►
we all tell dirty jokes and I was like
[TS]
◼
►
really thats he's like pretty much like
[TS]
◼
►
seriously you you you get all dressed up
[TS]
◼
►
and you go off to the secret meeting in
[TS]
◼
►
a hotel somewhere just sit around talk
[TS]
◼
►
dirty jokes with astronauts that I don't
[TS]
◼
►
believe it it doesn't sound like you for
[TS]
◼
►
a second and he was like well it's just
[TS]
◼
►
it's just it's just plausible enough
[TS]
◼
►
that like somebody who wasn't thinking
[TS]
◼
►
about a lot would believe it but I'm
[TS]
◼
►
guessing they were there was a serious
[TS]
◼
►
fucking rock is going on with the quiet
[TS]
◼
►
Bergman well that's what I'm thinking
[TS]
◼
►
too and you know my dad had nothing
[TS]
◼
►
maybe like you can't like a black bag
[TS]
◼
►
type thing like they might have been out
[TS]
◼
►
doing some stuff you know a little many
[TS]
◼
►
missions there were plenty of
[TS]
◼
►
opportunities for him to go sit around
[TS]
◼
►
with drunks and listen to dirty jokes he
[TS]
◼
►
didn't like it i mean that's right he
[TS]
◼
►
did need to go to this this stupid thing
[TS]
◼
►
and then you know the other all the
[TS]
◼
►
other shit that my dad was into I i
[TS]
◼
►
wonder what the quiet Berman were up to
[TS]
◼
►
and the the problem is if you try and
[TS]
◼
►
figure it out you go online it's true
[TS]
◼
►
it's like the it's like the Bohemian
[TS]
◼
►
Grove you get out you get a get a
[TS]
◼
►
glancing overview on the internet like
[TS]
◼
►
oh yeah that's right it's an
[TS]
◼
►
organization and here
[TS]
◼
►
the members and everything else is
[TS]
◼
►
secret so go fuck yourself yeah and you
[TS]
◼
►
go well no seriously what why in the
[TS]
◼
►
hell would warren buffett go sit out in
[TS]
◼
►
the trees with Henry Kissinger for a
[TS]
◼
►
week like what is in it for him
[TS]
◼
►
they're like all we tell dirty stories
[TS]
◼
►
and i'm getting teenager rules i don't
[TS]
◼
►
know i don't know but I'm not buying it
[TS]
◼
►
so i don't but the thing is I but i'm
[TS]
◼
►
i'm i'm scared enough of the
[TS]
◼
►
organization that it's not like i would
[TS]
◼
►
try to impersonate a quiet Birdman no I
[TS]
◼
►
think the average age of course the
[TS]
◼
►
quiet Bergman is probably 84 and they
[TS]
◼
►
would know in an instant
[TS]
◼
►
you know they would it would i'd walk in
[TS]
◼
►
the door and they go hmm what's this a
[TS]
◼
►
flapper an aileron might be like uh and
[TS]
◼
►
they're like that show me your hands
[TS]
◼
►
she'll be here instance that I I'm the
[TS]
◼
►
one the first one in three generations
[TS]
◼
►
to not well as much as i can say is you
[TS]
◼
►
know right now I'm not in any secret
[TS]
◼
►
organizations and my grandfather was in
[TS]
◼
►
scottish rite rite as well as my father
[TS]
◼
►
really really people lay my my my mom
[TS]
◼
►
was in rainbow girls it and her
[TS]
◼
►
let's just say quote unquote boyfriend
[TS]
◼
►
was a figure skater was in demolay and
[TS]
◼
►
they love to dance but know that then
[TS]
◼
►
Saudi male looking very rhythmic people
[TS]
◼
►
he yeah he went over to the other side
[TS]
◼
►
young-hee so so anyway it but it's it's
[TS]
◼
►
really strange the things weird to me is
[TS]
◼
►
that like with secret organizations is
[TS]
◼
►
like you know it's a secret organization
[TS]
◼
►
and you're not allowed to talk about
[TS]
◼
►
stuff but people they still it isn't
[TS]
◼
►
secret enough that like you don't know
[TS]
◼
►
what the logo looks like you know what I
[TS]
◼
►
mean if you're in like for example I I
[TS]
◼
►
think about was before but I had on my
[TS]
◼
►
dad's old lighters on display in my
[TS]
◼
►
office my first job I had a private
[TS]
◼
►
office with all you know that decorated
[TS]
◼
►
so I had like 15 really cool lighters is
[TS]
◼
►
lighter from Korea and stuff like that
[TS]
◼
►
and one of them had the you know the
[TS]
◼
►
symbol with the compass around the the g
[TS]
◼
►
in it mmm know what is that that's
[TS]
◼
►
Freemasons that nothing that's the
[TS]
◼
►
Freemasons yeah yeah so
[TS]
◼
►
and a guy a local printer came in to
[TS]
◼
►
talk about a job we were getting time he
[TS]
◼
►
comes anyone going I mean brown and
[TS]
◼
►
written or two up and better
[TS]
◼
►
productivity goes are you a Mason said
[TS]
◼
►
no no I dad died I've got his lighter is
[TS]
◼
►
like you thinking about coming to Mason
[TS]
◼
►
who ok but he he said it like he was
[TS]
◼
►
like he was offered me a lollipop in a
[TS]
◼
►
white van and and I was like umm hmm now
[TS]
◼
►
I not you know it's nothing I've ever a
[TS]
◼
►
slide his card across my desk and says
[TS]
◼
►
you will let me know when you're ready
[TS]
◼
►
wow i'm still not ready still not a man
[TS]
◼
►
nope but not buried the lighter i don't
[TS]
◼
►
want to eat haha
[TS]
◼
►
the thing about the military you know I
[TS]
◼
►
had a guy in sixth grade a year before I
[TS]
◼
►
did military so I think the only thing
[TS]
◼
►
that made military school appealing to
[TS]
◼
►
me was maybe some some some teen
[TS]
◼
►
comedies I'd scene involving you know
[TS]
◼
►
military school and a book i got on the
[TS]
◼
►
library and 6th grade on West Point and
[TS]
◼
►
I it was it all seemed extremely orderly
[TS]
◼
►
i learned how to make Hospital corners
[TS]
◼
►
I learned on it i was really into it for
[TS]
◼
►
a while right corner on your bed I did I
[TS]
◼
►
tell you I knew exactly like that little
[TS]
◼
►
how long the flaps should be at the top
[TS]
◼
►
etcetera etcetera etcetera and today I'm
[TS]
◼
►
a push pick you know I can barely find
[TS]
◼
►
work on my desk to put the mic to
[TS]
◼
►
deliver short-sheeting guys bed now I
[TS]
◼
►
was aware of the technology but I never
[TS]
◼
►
this is this is the thing I have you
[TS]
◼
►
know when I was in the Civil Air Patrol
[TS]
◼
►
he doesn't seem like it would work it's
[TS]
◼
►
just who doesn't look in their bed but
[TS]
◼
►
we short-sheeted people's beds all the
[TS]
◼
►
time and your bed you know you like you
[TS]
◼
►
pull it pull open the sheets and it's
[TS]
◼
►
not like it's not like it catches you
[TS]
◼
►
where you like you you go to slide into
[TS]
◼
►
your bed guy like Molly inconvenience me
[TS]
◼
►
yeah but you know you pull open your
[TS]
◼
►
sheets and that are it's not a bet it's
[TS]
◼
►
I mean it and it was hilarious and I
[TS]
◼
►
learned I learned this technology when I
[TS]
◼
►
when I was 12 years old
[TS]
◼
►
12-13 years old and I have never in the
[TS]
◼
►
rest of my life 30-odd years since then
[TS]
◼
►
I've never had the opportunity to
[TS]
◼
►
short-sheet somebody's bed and i'm
[TS]
◼
►
always looking for it all right because
[TS]
◼
►
who makes their bed like those cruises
[TS]
◼
►
that sheets right can you short-sheet
[TS]
◼
►
jonathan coulton is bad i guess i guess
[TS]
◼
►
i could if i could get into his room but
[TS]
◼
►
I mean all those room everybody's got a
[TS]
◼
►
keycard you think he'd be frustrated i
[TS]
◼
►
think that he would I think he might get
[TS]
◼
►
lucky he might have a moment of
[TS]
◼
►
reflection for like 150 would I think he
[TS]
◼
►
would think about that for awhile i want
[TS]
◼
►
more about how somebody got my room
[TS]
◼
►
well that that's the thing i think i
[TS]
◼
►
think it would be most effective on Paul
[TS]
◼
►
sabores bed but but but but like this it
[TS]
◼
►
seems unfair it seems like
[TS]
◼
►
short-sheeting once you learn it you
[TS]
◼
►
should be able to use it the rest of
[TS]
◼
►
your life and this is just like I still
[TS]
◼
►
think about it I me but you know what
[TS]
◼
►
I'm gonna miss Cruz this cruise this
[TS]
◼
►
year I'm a minute's get look for the
[TS]
◼
►
opportunity to short-sheet simple I know
[TS]
◼
►
you're going through a transitional
[TS]
◼
►
phase i'm just gonna talk with are
[TS]
◼
►
probably end up cutting this out but i
[TS]
◼
►
just want to say you have so far today
[TS]
◼
►
you have revealed the brand name of your
[TS]
◼
►
home security system you indicated that
[TS]
◼
►
you have let's be honest purloined quiet
[TS]
◼
►
Birdman credentials and now you're
[TS]
◼
►
talking about what kinds of pranks
[TS]
◼
►
you're going to deploy you you might
[TS]
◼
►
want to think about playing a little bit
[TS]
◼
►
closer to the vest
[TS]
◼
►
well I'm do I feel like I feel like it's
[TS]
◼
►
maybe open book season for me
[TS]
◼
►
good for you like this business of the
[TS]
◼
►
the guy saying when you're ready to be a
[TS]
◼
►
I do feel like there was some important
[TS]
◼
►
moment important moment in the fifties
[TS]
◼
►
montage of my young life where I should
[TS]
◼
►
have gone through some kind of fraternal
[TS]
◼
►
hazing where we're peers slightly older
[TS]
◼
►
dressed in robes paddled me or put hot
[TS]
◼
►
wax on me or made me perform some kind
[TS]
◼
►
of ritualistic nothing just that weekend
[TS]
◼
►
well you yeah except that the the
[TS]
◼
►
germany that I experienced that was all
[TS]
◼
►
by myself i wasn't i was in that was in
[TS]
◼
►
these hallowed halls but there was
[TS]
◼
►
nobody there to drip hot wax what do you
[TS]
◼
►
think you aren't uh it's your father
[TS]
◼
►
obviously walk down some very secret
[TS]
◼
►
corridors of power
[TS]
◼
►
why do you think you were not drawn into
[TS]
◼
►
protecting you no no I think it I think
[TS]
◼
►
that it was clear from the beginning
[TS]
◼
►
that i was to lippy as my dad would say
[TS]
◼
►
you to lippy and which makes ass to
[TS]
◼
►
yeah by which he meant like like the
[TS]
◼
►
presumption of somebody who talks as
[TS]
◼
►
like as much and as floridly as i do and
[TS]
◼
►
did I is that I'm not you know I'm not
[TS]
◼
►
stoic enough not the you know not John
[TS]
◼
►
McCain e-enough although I guess he was
[TS]
◼
►
a he was a challenge so you're kind of
[TS]
◼
►
not strictly speaking a team player not
[TS]
◼
►
that's right now you're against the team
[TS]
◼
►
but they're not ready to know there's no
[TS]
◼
►
I mean I definitely wouldn't leave a man
[TS]
◼
►
behind no but I'm also not i mean if
[TS]
◼
►
somebody seriously if I was being
[TS]
◼
►
interrogated in a in a foreign prison I
[TS]
◼
►
would just instinctively have a lot more
[TS]
◼
►
to say a lot more I wanted to say than
[TS]
◼
►
just my name rank and serial number
[TS]
◼
►
you know what I mean like that seemed so
[TS]
◼
►
limiting and maybe some of the things i
[TS]
◼
►
would say would be obfuscating maybe it
[TS]
◼
►
would appear oh maybe I would create a
[TS]
◼
►
hole and create a whole mind picture in
[TS]
◼
►
my interrogators a little notebook where
[TS]
◼
►
he would be you know they'd be still did
[TS]
◼
►
they be teasing out all the the hidden
[TS]
◼
►
meanings for years I don't think you can
[TS]
◼
►
under you can understate a 20-minute I
[TS]
◼
►
don't think you can overstate the value
[TS]
◼
►
of someone who appears to be cracking
[TS]
◼
►
under pressure and flooding them with
[TS]
◼
►
misinformation also get double reverse
[TS]
◼
►
mindfuck and that would be me I mean I'm
[TS]
◼
►
no i'm not going to the game
[TS]
◼
►
participation you tend to crack under
[TS]
◼
►
yeah standard attention to that would
[TS]
◼
►
definitely pretend pretend to crack
[TS]
◼
►
under pressure the problem is then they
[TS]
◼
►
go they try to get some of this stuff
[TS]
◼
►
like it you gotta give them some real
[TS]
◼
►
didn't you gotta give him the easy steps
[TS]
◼
►
got to be real so that they can go can
[TS]
◼
►
go ahead and say like oh well he must be
[TS]
◼
►
telling the truth so until they haven't
[TS]
◼
►
used that thing in months back way
[TS]
◼
►
uh-huh and then you know I I mean I feel
[TS]
◼
►
like there's there's always been a role
[TS]
◼
►
for me in America's intelligence
[TS]
◼
►
services but they have this that they're
[TS]
◼
►
so fixated on like have you ever done
[TS]
◼
►
drugs like what do you all you're gonna
[TS]
◼
►
get is squares if that's your the fact
[TS]
◼
►
that your lips I've been holding off
[TS]
◼
►
saying it John because i don't want to
[TS]
◼
►
do anything to you know I don't hurt
[TS]
◼
►
your feelings but if you ever wondered
[TS]
◼
►
if maybe that was just something to
[TS]
◼
►
scare off the people who are really
[TS]
◼
►
serious because again I mean I really
[TS]
◼
►
we've covered this a little in the past
[TS]
◼
►
but I i think being somebody who's found
[TS]
◼
►
new levels of rock bottom might be just
[TS]
◼
►
the sort of person you would want a
[TS]
◼
►
certain very particular kind of mission
[TS]
◼
►
know maybe you're not going to go into
[TS]
◼
►
like Bosnia and give out frosted flakes
[TS]
◼
►
but you know you there might be
[TS]
◼
►
something extremely specific and you
[TS]
◼
►
know with all the NSA information stuff
[TS]
◼
►
there this might be actually unique
[TS]
◼
►
opportunity right now people would know
[TS]
◼
►
exactly what kind of mission you would
[TS]
◼
►
be right for you still want to do it
[TS]
◼
►
well this is the problem that the as
[TS]
◼
►
soon as I became familiar with the idea
[TS]
◼
►
that there were agents and then those
[TS]
◼
►
there were operated on for stripes i'm
[TS]
◼
►
gonna get so many letters that's enough
[TS]
◼
►
I don't want to be run by somebody else
[TS]
◼
►
I mean you know maybe yeah sure somebody
[TS]
◼
►
like maybe director of operations but I
[TS]
◼
►
want to reply i don't want to be I don't
[TS]
◼
►
want to be an asset
[TS]
◼
►
you know I mean I'm nobody's fucking
[TS]
◼
►
assets on my own asset and this is the
[TS]
◼
►
problem i don't want to be recruited by
[TS]
◼
►
some dingaling at you know and not have
[TS]
◼
►
the full picture and just be out you
[TS]
◼
►
have to really be a company man you
[TS]
◼
►
would really have to give yourself a
[TS]
◼
►
first of all a lot of its just gonna be
[TS]
◼
►
extremely tedious a letter at the safe
[TS]
◼
►
house for four years and then all of a
[TS]
◼
►
sudden you're your digital watch beeps
[TS]
◼
►
three times and you're like huh
[TS]
◼
►
just as like somebody blows the door and
[TS]
◼
►
that's your signal to go watch something
[TS]
◼
►
with binoculars for two years but you
[TS]
◼
►
think I mean if you actually get a lot
[TS]
◼
►
of what that stuff is here here's the
[TS]
◼
►
thing a lot of these secret
[TS]
◼
►
organizations like the quiet Birdman the
[TS]
◼
►
Freemasons their kind of dying on the
[TS]
◼
►
vine that get those guys are that they
[TS]
◼
►
they were not successful at recruiting a
[TS]
◼
►
new generation but what if we started
[TS]
◼
►
kind of like our our our guest house
[TS]
◼
►
hostel for snipers for snipers what if
[TS]
◼
►
we started a secret organization that
[TS]
◼
►
was actually an intelligence service
[TS]
◼
►
like a civilian intelligence service
[TS]
◼
►
sort of a Halliburton but of of like
[TS]
◼
►
made up entirely of british guys with
[TS]
◼
►
explosives in their suitcases and like
[TS]
◼
►
renegade kind of Captain Haddock style
[TS]
◼
►
surly retired retired agents that never
[TS]
◼
►
were actually employed but that's like
[TS]
◼
►
you don't really think so it could be
[TS]
◼
►
it's not governmental in nature right
[TS]
◼
►
it's it's not strictly private nature
[TS]
◼
►
it's my private nature is obviously it's
[TS]
◼
►
got to be as extreme secrecy maintain
[TS]
◼
►
its all about it's all about different
[TS]
◼
►
levels of clearance different you know
[TS]
◼
►
that he get all the spy craft all the
[TS]
◼
►
tunnel digging in the fake IDs
[TS]
◼
►
counterfeit money
[TS]
◼
►
the false passports the you know the
[TS]
◼
►
like all the all the snow the spy craft
[TS]
◼
►
but without maybe expertise or danger
[TS]
◼
►
yes I think it's a great idea i don't
[TS]
◼
►
have a facebook group or sell t-shirts
[TS]
◼
►
but it's something where I think it's
[TS]
◼
►
something a lot of people late in life
[TS]
◼
►
would be interested in i think a lot of
[TS]
◼
►
us have made these I'm gonna say fits
[TS]
◼
►
the fifth or sixth grade
[TS]
◼
►
the guy had a variety of these
[TS]
◼
►
organizations alright spend a lot of
[TS]
◼
►
time coming up with work charts deciding
[TS]
◼
►
you know who is going to be vice
[TS]
◼
►
president under me and stuff like that
[TS]
◼
►
but at ya and certainly I have to think
[TS]
◼
►
that it would be something I don't know
[TS]
◼
►
like an 18 type thing where because of
[TS]
◼
►
our various connections in our various
[TS]
◼
►
industries that were involved and we
[TS]
◼
►
would know people who need help right
[TS]
◼
►
you young people you you would actually
[TS]
◼
►
be able and it will be like a reverse
[TS]
◼
►
hey we wouldn't you know we would not be
[TS]
◼
►
advertising the yellow pages but we
[TS]
◼
►
could go to people and say you you need
[TS]
◼
►
a little bit of help
[TS]
◼
►
yeah from the Roderick group right from
[TS]
◼
►
the Roderick group I like things like
[TS]
◼
►
that so much i cannot tell anything
[TS]
◼
►
about what they do
[TS]
◼
►
yeah and the business card just says the
[TS]
◼
►
robbery group like me and the rand
[TS]
◼
►
corporation doesn't rain corporation
[TS]
◼
►
sound like they make cogs the other ran
[TS]
◼
►
the the RAND Corporation for a long time
[TS]
◼
►
I thought they made crackers router and
[TS]
◼
►
curve and then I realized all the other
[TS]
◼
►
end crew the rand corporation is this
[TS]
◼
►
like fully Illuminati I wonder how long
[TS]
◼
►
the robbery group would have to be an
[TS]
◼
►
operation before the Illuminati
[TS]
◼
►
contacted us but for like an acquisition
[TS]
◼
►
or merger or just or just you know
[TS]
◼
►
initially to feel this out see below
[TS]
◼
►
royal actually blocking us out because
[TS]
◼
►
we were usually are you seeing like
[TS]
◼
►
what's involved it's just somebody to
[TS]
◼
►
take seriously it's just somebody's
[TS]
◼
►
family we need to take to Brazil or
[TS]
◼
►
something right and then when they
[TS]
◼
►
realize that we're that where an
[TS]
◼
►
imminently serious organization with a
[TS]
◼
►
great font and and you know really
[TS]
◼
►
nice-looking flowcharts and that would
[TS]
◼
►
be really important today it's a very it
[TS]
◼
►
to the Millennials are very visual
[TS]
◼
►
I don't need that we would need a great
[TS]
◼
►
logo and and and yeah person alex a way
[TS]
◼
►
from facebook i'm gonna count anymore
[TS]
◼
►
you have to manage that we are something
[TS]
◼
►
that division bad at that I love helping
[TS]
◼
►
people though i would say this is
[TS]
◼
►
chapter for a long long time I really
[TS]
◼
►
felt when I want to search my feelings
[TS]
◼
►
this is the thing so you know sometimes
[TS]
◼
►
late at night i sit down i sit down
[TS]
◼
►
indian style or what's the what's the
[TS]
◼
►
non-offensive what's the politically
[TS]
◼
►
correct Native American stuff native
[TS]
◼
►
american-style but I bet it but I
[TS]
◼
►
thought it was dot Indian not Indian
[TS]
◼
►
style is dot indian or is that will
[TS]
◼
►
like dot en mi the dot dot yet top-level
[TS]
◼
►
IM yeah okay dot biz
[TS]
◼
►
no you know I sit down and I and I and I
[TS]
◼
►
and I and I focus on my third eye and I
[TS]
◼
►
say what am I here for
[TS]
◼
►
I've gotten a lot of conflicting
[TS]
◼
►
messages over the years retired from
[TS]
◼
►
yeah that's right for myself to retire
[TS]
◼
►
director of CIA was I didn't think it
[TS]
◼
►
was a false flag for a long time
[TS]
◼
►
my mind is trying to tell me something
[TS]
◼
►
that that that just wasn't possible but
[TS]
◼
►
what I was really getting at was and I
[TS]
◼
►
think we may have mentioned this to you
[TS]
◼
►
before when the UFOs come they are going
[TS]
◼
►
to need a human envoy we're gonna need
[TS]
◼
►
someone to represent humanity that has
[TS]
◼
►
everyone's best interests at heart you
[TS]
◼
►
know they think they can pick somebody
[TS]
◼
►
from the united nations are from the
[TS]
◼
►
internet or the United States certainly
[TS]
◼
►
I mean you know the cable channel all
[TS]
◼
►
those people are compromised
[TS]
◼
►
they're all compromised and the thing is
[TS]
◼
►
the UFOs I I'm fairly confident have
[TS]
◼
►
have vetted me completely now with the
[TS]
◼
►
with the vowel ambassadors and I feel
[TS]
◼
►
like it's all part of the application
[TS]
◼
►
process of gradual slow you know as I as
[TS]
◼
►
I build more and more people that are
[TS]
◼
►
that you know that understanding my word
[TS]
◼
►
it is it's all in service of this this
[TS]
◼
►
you know this i'm going to this future
[TS]
◼
►
calling where they they arrived right
[TS]
◼
►
and there's a third suddenly just as you
[TS]
◼
►
see it as you've seen so many times
[TS]
◼
►
giant motherships hovering over all
[TS]
◼
►
Earth's all the capitals of the earth
[TS]
◼
►
and everyone in singapore and everyone
[TS]
◼
►
in st. Petersburg that all run outside
[TS]
◼
►
and they're looking up in here these
[TS]
◼
►
inscrutable you know humming mother
[TS]
◼
►
ships and there's a couple of days where
[TS]
◼
►
everybody freaks out but there's no
[TS]
◼
►
communication from them it's just like
[TS]
◼
►
what do they want what they want and the
[TS]
◼
►
f-16s go up but they the vaporized or or
[TS]
◼
►
even know that just the instruments go
[TS]
◼
►
haywire nobody's hurt right limb the
[TS]
◼
►
planes land under their own power guided
[TS]
◼
►
and and just as you know just as as
[TS]
◼
►
everyone is just as all the world's
[TS]
◼
►
governments and all of our technology
[TS]
◼
►
are revealed to be impotent against
[TS]
◼
►
these superior phones than all the
[TS]
◼
►
television sets and all the radios all
[TS]
◼
►
crackle at once and they all come on and
[TS]
◼
►
they're all it's all uh it's all just
[TS]
◼
►
sort of a green screen and then and then
[TS]
◼
►
Boop translated translated into all the
[TS]
◼
►
languages of the earth which I speak
[TS]
◼
►
fluently because of the because the
[TS]
◼
►
babelfish that's been put inside mine if
[TS]
◼
►
you put like by the collarbone keep a
[TS]
◼
►
little implant does have a double
[TS]
◼
►
fishing implant and I say people of
[TS]
◼
►
hello i am a fellow earthling i have
[TS]
◼
►
been charged with this task and be able
[TS]
◼
►
to ask to speak on behalf of the roof
[TS]
◼
►
owes who have come in peace and they
[TS]
◼
►
seem threatening but they assure me they
[TS]
◼
►
are not and so as the speaker now for
[TS]
◼
►
them and speaker
[TS]
◼
►
them and speaker
[TS]
◼
►
of us to them send me your questions in
[TS]
◼
►
self-addressed stamped envelopes to the
[TS]
◼
►
Roderick group dot biz for some reason I
[TS]
◼
►
keep thinking of a I know you're crazy
[TS]
◼
►
about the opening music there will be
[TS]
◼
►
blood imagine the scene when Daniel goes
[TS]
◼
►
back out and he's going he goes to the
[TS]
◼
►
guy anyways start buying land and he
[TS]
◼
►
wants to find out what's available what
[TS]
◼
►
parcels with this person is going to
[TS]
◼
►
need to do that who's holding out
[TS]
◼
►
I I know it's not exactly equivalent but
[TS]
◼
►
I kind of see you in that position where
[TS]
◼
►
you're kind of the real estate agent for
[TS]
◼
►
earth day would come in there or hearts
[TS]
◼
►
and minds right you did they come to you
[TS]
◼
►
and you're able to give them the lay of
[TS]
◼
►
the land so everybody gets paid and
[TS]
◼
►
hopefully not vaporize story instrument
[TS]
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screwed up but you would be able to act
[TS]
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both ways between them that the biggest
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problem I think you having credibility
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with aliens is a foregone conclusion but
[TS]
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how would you how would you would you
[TS]
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feel like you needed to build that
[TS]
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these are the Earthlings before you got
[TS]
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the go-ahead for you think UFOs here's
[TS]
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what what Earthlings would recognize in
[TS]
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me automatic it you know instantaneously
[TS]
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is that I'm a straight shooter right and
[TS]
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so the the ufos often have to appear to
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humans in the form of their dead
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father's something they would understand
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right but in my case that the they
[TS]
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recognize that they can appear to me in
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their natural state and i will
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comprehend even if it even if their
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natural state is just a you know energy
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ether or a bean pot or whatever it is
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that the aliens are in their natural
[TS]
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environment maybe it's a train on a sort
[TS]
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of a transdimensional z28 or whatever
[TS]
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whatever it is not a dance haha if
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they're ants I'm gonna have some
[TS]
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splainin to do but they surely they
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already know and maybe that's why maybe
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that's why they're sending me these
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encoded messages because they recognize
[TS]
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that i'm not i'm not a patsy maybe you
[TS]
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know that such a lonely job though the
[TS]
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►
MS the emissary between Gerald's
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ultimately would be but that is the kind
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of sacrifice and prepared to make for my
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people and I think the citizens of earth
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would would you know I
[TS]
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►
say you're referring to the Earthlings
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as your paper things right i would say
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Earthlings listen with we don't have a
[TS]
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lot of bargaining room here because like
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they they have superior technology and
[TS]
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they've really caught us with our pants
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down but you know I'm counting on them
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having a sense of humor and I'm counting
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on them you know recognizing that that
[TS]
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that we we have lots to offer were good
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►
dancers we we have students lots of
[TS]
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►
different spicy food and I'm gonna give
[TS]
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►
him a tour of some you know some cool
[TS]
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►
spots that i've seen over the years i'm
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gonna take them into the medina and fez
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and show him around a lot of spices in
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there a lot of thought of good sights
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►
and smells you know like come tour guide
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►
like like a love boat style
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►
ok so part of it is you're like this
[TS]
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►
your earth's Milton so you're gonna go
[TS]
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up and you're gonna explain the way the
[TS]
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►
ways of humans to to the UFOs help help
[TS]
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►
them understand how to use facebook and
[TS]
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things like that
[TS]
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►
yeah i'm gonna say listen you maybe you
[TS]
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►
you may have arrived here thinking that
[TS]
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►
you're gonna mind the molten platinum
[TS]
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►
core of our planet and to spoil spoil us
[TS]
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►
you're basing this base you know on on
[TS]
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►
having watched our television channels
[TS]
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►
and you're like space outpost but
[TS]
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►
there's a lot more to us than that a
[TS]
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►
cable there and I'm gonna say you know
[TS]
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►
I'm gonna say listen I'm gonna make a
[TS]
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►
white castles lab out of India sacred
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►
cow just for you
[TS]
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►
I'm gonna take you down to Florida
[TS]
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►
finished look ya up for pretty cheap
[TS]
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►
places like Nevada been really Florida
[TS]
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►
if they could set up operations in
[TS]
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►
Florida I'd be okay with that
[TS]
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►
the thing is if they change the tides
[TS]
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►
even buy a few meters all Florida's
[TS]
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►
underwater it's just a sec that's why
[TS]
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►
you want buildings that her a foot or
[TS]
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►
two above i think that would give you at
[TS]
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►
least a couple of centuries of safety
[TS]
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►
you can just lift it up like hunter
[TS]
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►
buildings are not a bad idea you know
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►
we're so close to having endless
[TS]
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►
renewable energy is it sorry Cloud City
[TS]
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►
yeah Cloud City yeah yeah
[TS]
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►
precisely you know I think that
[TS]
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►
read such so yesterday I threw some
[TS]
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►
crumpled aluminum foil in the recycling
[TS]
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►
side of my of my bicameral garbage can
[TS]
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►
and then it said it had food on it
[TS]
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►
matter in it had food matter in it and I
[TS]
◼
►
said listen this super train is not
[TS]
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►
going to happen because we wait for it
[TS]
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►
it's gonna happen because we start
[TS]
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►
throwing food soiled aluminum foil in
[TS]
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►
our recycling until they start recycling
[TS]
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►
it i'll let you come with me
[TS]
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►
that's right oh that's good it's like so
[TS]
◼
►
again back to making your own parade
[TS]
◼
►
except in this case it's got aluminum
[TS]
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►
foil with a little bit of meat on it or
[TS]
◼
►
let them put in landfills there's more
[TS]
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►
raw aluminum for us when the when the
[TS]
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►
look we're gonna roll up to these public
[TS]
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►
parks and they're going to be full of
[TS]
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►
like fully processed aluminum that for
[TS]
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►
whatever reason had a little spaghetti
[TS]
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►
sauce on them and were deemed like
[TS]
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►
unusable super train is going to fix all
[TS]
◼
►
I mean in the end it's a good thing but
[TS]
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►
you know this is this is how this is how
[TS]
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►
evolution works and in technology and
[TS]
◼
►
culture UFOs and trains is that it
[TS]
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►
they're really it takes it takes it
[TS]
◼
►
takes somebody with a certain vision to
[TS]
◼
►
be able to see something the way it's
[TS]
◼
►
not i think you have that and that's why
[TS]
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►
I think when I really search my feelings
[TS]
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►
when I really sit down and say what am I
[TS]
◼
►
here for our director of the CIA maybe
[TS]
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►
Bufo envoy absolutely
[TS]
◼
►
and it may already be happened you know
[TS]
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►
I mean I may already be part of the
[TS]
◼
►
softening of me that's been that's been
[TS]
◼
►
happening the last couple of months it
[TS]
◼
►
might be that they're just that they
[TS]
◼
►
that they felt like I was just a little
[TS]
◼
►
too acerbic and they're starting to show
[TS]
◼
►
me trying to put obstacles in front of
[TS]
◼
►
me like like security guards and an
[TS]
◼
►
pi just waiting for you get off the
[TS]
◼
►
sugar a little bit so that you're you're
[TS]
◼
►
receptive to their wisdom
[TS]
◼
►
hey so I started trying to do this cheat
[TS]
◼
►
day cheat day by saturday's we're going
[TS]
◼
►
to be a cheat day where I ate like I
[TS]
◼
►
used to eat I would eat I would eat a
[TS]
◼
►
largely carb-free diet all week long and
[TS]
◼
►
then on saturdays I would you know ID
[TS]
◼
►
carbs and I'm telling you now Marlon I
[TS]
◼
►
don't like them now I had a cheat day on
[TS]
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►
on saturday and i mean it all tastes
[TS]
◼
►
fine taste pretty good but then I feel
[TS]
◼
►
like shit i feel like shit for three
[TS]
◼
►
days afterwards and i think i think even
[TS]
◼
►
though i have granted myself the the
[TS]
◼
►
cheat day option i think i'm still not
[TS]
◼
►
going to eat wheat on cheat day I can't
[TS]
◼
►
even believe I'm saying this I feel like
[TS]
◼
►
I've become a crazy person I really
[TS]
◼
►
maybe the UFOs are really monkeying with
[TS]
◼
►
well yea year ago if you had said i
[TS]
◼
►
would volunteer you i would give myself
[TS]
◼
►
one day a week where I could eat pasta
[TS]
◼
►
and I wouldn't i would issue it
[TS]
◼
►
uh-huh even on my cheat day at work and
[TS]
◼
►
imagine using the phrase cheat a shit
[TS]
◼
►
listen to me I you know I sound like I
[TS]
◼
►
sound like somebody sound like a guest
[TS]
◼
►
on the dr phil program that something is
[TS]
◼
►
happening to me i don't know what it is
[TS]
◼
►
that they're putting estrogen in my food
[TS]
◼
►
and now this now this beeping alarm
[TS]
◼
►
downstairs is starting to make sense
[TS]
◼
►
it's like you're going to cry are you
[TS]
◼
►
it's some kind of thing therefore the
[TS]
◼
►
green it's all its doing my man what's
[TS]
◼
►
happening i'm starting to crack
[TS]
◼
►
hope I don't want to cheat that you
[TS]