Roderick on the Line

Ep. 84: "Pedagogical Sex Father"


  hello age on Merlin has gone good mmm [TS]

  good here to be honest i have been [TS]

  recording podcasts on a little bit [TS]

  winded you are a podcast recorder [TS]

  hmm uh-huh all happen i'll have it right [TS]

  here it's just yeah yeah I hear I hear [TS]

  from a lot of people about your podcasts [TS]

  yeah I don't like using that word [TS]

  podcast certainly out nobody found a [TS]

  better one being outcasts [TS]

  yeah it's hell is that tests on ugly it [TS]

  sounds like poop [TS]

  I tried to for awhile coin that you may [TS]

  recall when we first started doing this [TS]

  I tried to separate it and make it into [TS]

  words podcast yeah and I got some angry [TS]

  letters from Germany [TS]

  oh yes is a term of art there [TS]

  well I don't know what I don't know what [TS]

  their problem was I never know what [TS]

  they're for the Germans problem is but [TS]

  that these guys were like no not nine [TS]

  dick house that I guess I'm sorry I [TS]

  didn't know what you know it just it I [TS]

  think of it I think good maybe they [TS]

  didn't like the affectation [TS]

  I don't know what you know we kid we kid [TS]

  about our listeners but i just want to [TS]

  stipulate to the people of Germany there [TS]

  are there's nobody who's more tolerant [TS]

  of the craft of the choices that we give [TS]

  them the government's that's true [TS]

  therefore resilient John you know funny [TS]

  the funny thing is did you know he [TS]

  probably didn't know this but did you [TS]

  know that Germans are far and away the [TS]

  disproportionately largest group of [TS]

  immigrants in America I would not have [TS]

  guessed that but net that does make [TS]

  sense yeah it's like a he take the take [TS]

  the numbers of all the people that have [TS]

  emigrated to the Americas over the years [TS]

  are this America the North America and [TS]

  and the Germans are like overwhelmingly [TS]

  that the largest population and they [TS]

  came over they just stayed quiet they [TS]

  kept moving [TS]

  they got out of the way mhm they got [TS]

  some farmland out there in minnetonka [TS]

  and they started making schnitzel and [TS]

  and then they integrated into the local [TS]

  population because they look just like [TS]

  English English sure if you if pressed I [TS]

  changed their name to Windsor when you [TS]

  yo yo Han york i would have guessed if [TS]

  pressed I would have guessed Irish whose [TS]

  property it and availability heuristic [TS]

  on my part but you know Irish used to be [TS]

  very discriminating against you aware of [TS]

  this [TS]

  no no blacks dogs are Irish is that a [TS]

  real sign that was a real son [TS]

  no blacks dogs are Irishness service i [TS]

  reassured that at the bottom of that [TS]

  list actually I seem to remember I think [TS]

  anyone had a charvel with a picture of a [TS]

  leprechaun with a Buster on it never has [TS]

  no fat chicks no fat chicks [TS]

  how do you know used to be able to get [TS]

  away with that but now that's very [TS]

  unpopular cut all this out i I'm out my [TS]

  last name is German I i come from start [TS]

  to finish [TS]

  mon from all the Germans stock also i'll [TS]

  bet you you know the Germans come in [TS]

  they work hard they don't they didn't [TS]

  cause cause a lot of trouble and they [TS]

  weren't controversial in the way I don't [TS]

  know anything about history John but i [TS]

  think they were controversial compared [TS]

  to a lot of you say they blend in blend [TS]

  to do that you know what I mean [TS]

  well yeah they were you know the Germans [TS]

  i think i think the Irish and the [TS]

  Italians both immigrated to America [TS]

  typically because their countries were [TS]

  having food crises and they were kind of [TS]

  coming over here because it was a last [TS]

  ditch effort or like they put their they [TS]

  went down to the docks and they put [TS]

  their kids on the boat and they said [TS]

  ciao go find go find food in America [TS]

  little really really really excel [TS]

  self-preservation [TS]

  ya like like we are not making it here [TS]

  there are too many of us in Italy and [TS]

  and there's a potato famine here and we [TS]

  are gone [TS]

  whereas the Germans I think maybe moved [TS]

  emigrated to america with a little bit [TS]

  more resources and maybe were able to [TS]

  like get on a wagon train and get out to [TS]

  Minnesota and North Dakota and claim [TS]

  their land and they knew how to use guns [TS]

  so they could defend their land against [TS]

  I don't get the Irish against he gets [TS]

  the Irish were who are coming from [TS]

  a little bit later get out of my [TS]

  cabbages um but yeah it's it's a it's a [TS]

  strange statistic and and you know like [TS]

  the Germans are the silent majority i am [TS]

  not really like that senior like that [TS]

  Godfather Godfather movies the first [TS]

  couple and others that great scene at [TS]

  the beginning of godfather to when a [TS]

  veto arrives at ellis island and there's [TS]

  that long i have no way to know if this [TS]

  is anywhere near real but i love that [TS]

  long cannon-shot we're going across all [TS]

  the people waiting to be processed you [TS]

  know through Ellis Island I thought that [TS]

  was just so wonderfully done it looks [TS]

  like it really looks like it's from [TS]

  whatever you know 1900 or whatever but [TS]

  it also just gives you feel can imagine [TS]

  how monkey balls it must have been in [TS]

  manhattan at that time to be cheek to [TS]

  jowl with all these different people [TS]

  when really like a lot of folks from [TS]

  Europe they're coming from a more [TS]

  homogeneous background has been so [TS]

  strange to be living like right next to [TS]

  people from a different continent that [TS]

  you could have to totally crazy [TS]

  particularly given that the Irish and [TS]

  Italians and a panel and frankly a lot [TS]

  of the Germans and move a lot of the [TS]

  people's all shared a religion i mean [TS]

  they were all cat liquors never [TS]

  pronounced like that [TS]

  did you go in that John my father grew [TS]

  up I up here are in seattle on capitol [TS]

  hill and there were their work at [TS]

  liquors who went to Catholic school and [TS]

  there were public hers who went to [TS]

  public school so you either link to [TS]

  public white guy rhyming slang [TS]

  yeah and then there were the Jews and [TS]

  the Jews went you know the Jews kind of [TS]

  were like in the middle and of course [TS]

  the the the the Japanese bringing up the [TS]

  rear or actually you know heading the [TS]

  basketball team [TS]

  so my dad seattle was was fairly [TS]

  cosmopolitan but also you know that the [TS]

  the main groups were Japanese Jewish [TS]

  italian italian irish and then whatever [TS]

  Episcopalian or whatever the rest of the [TS]

  people were [TS]

  interesting little world when I look at [TS]

  my mom's high school yearbook [TS]

  she graduated in nineteen fifty-four [TS]

  first of all everybody looks 50 like 35 [TS]

  to 50 years of age but its next stage [TS]

  III there's a kid in my in my daughter's [TS]

  preschool I won't name him because he's [TS]

  too I bet in but he looks 50 and I'm and [TS]

  you're one of these you're one of these [TS]

  kids that I see in an old photographs of [TS]

  the Bowery you're like a shoeshine boy [TS]

  like looking up with a Donegal cap [TS]

  yeah he's a he is he is just a couple of [TS]

  like leather boots and and knee-high [TS]

  pants away from being a street ruffian [TS]

  in the foot down the five points huh [TS]

  it is strange i always think I think of [TS]

  a semi- here because it is it was an [TS]

  interesting mix 44 1956 it was an [TS]

  interesting mix of like there are a lot [TS]

  of Jewish people a lot of the essay like [TS]

  you know different kinds of it not so [TS]

  many black people but but they were [TS]

  there it was it was more integrated in [TS]

  the aggregate that I would have expected [TS]

  yeah i think that it's in seattle in [TS]

  particular like the great migration of [TS]

  african-americans came during the war [TS]

  and before that there was a vibrant a [TS]

  small but vibrant community the second [TS]

  big arrival this couple 300 years [TS]

  earlier he had some show up [TS]

  but-but-but here and see I'm in the [TS]

  North well I see you got to do I [TS]

  manufacturing well yeah there they they [TS]

  came from the south to work in the [TS]

  Boeing your airplane factory before that [TS]

  there was a there was a tight-knit and [TS]

  and vibrant black community in seattle [TS]

  and they were that they were such a [TS]

  minority that there was there was not [TS]

  really much racism against them the [TS]

  threat to the threat the white people [TS]

  perceived where the Chinese out here and [TS]

  so because of their numbers [TS]

  yeah right i mean the Chinese were [TS]

  flooding the city and there were [TS]

  anti-chinese riots here and there were [TS]

  like the the Chinese were the terror [TS]

  defying influx and the blacks had a had [TS]

  a work were like a middle-class [TS]

  community there was a prominent guy who [TS]

  owned a waterfront hotel who built a [TS]

  large house at the top of Capitol Hill [TS]

  and his family all lived you know all [TS]

  kind of came up to join them and they [TS]

  but they kind of built in neighborhood [TS]

  so before the war [TS]

  from all accounts there was not a lot of [TS]

  prejudice against blacks here it was all [TS]

  directed it at the bronchi kind of asian [TS]

  and then after the war course then it [TS]

  was like all bets were off there were [TS]

  there were still red line laws here in [TS]

  Seattle meaning like black families [TS]

  couldn't live north of a certain Street [TS]

  all the way just like wouldn't get a [TS]

  mortgage [TS]

  oh yeah they wouldn't get a they would [TS]

  not only were they not get a mortgage [TS]

  they would like yeah you want you you [TS]

  weren't they weren't really even [TS]

  encouraged to walk around after dark [TS]

  north of a surface street and that [TS]

  persisted here until the early seventies [TS]

  yeah my mom I don't know why I remember [TS]

  this but from the time my mom was taking [TS]

  real estate classes shitty the license [TS]

  in ohio and then legislature in florida [TS]

  in both cases she had to take classes in [TS]

  and how they call it the time that [TS]

  steering you have vertical red line to [TS]

  back in the day when they really did [TS]

  when banks you know that comes from [TS]

  banks would actually take a map and with [TS]

  a red whatever they use for markers [TS]

  would draw red lines but if you're in [TS]

  this area you can get a mortgage [TS]

  thanks doc please hold up the map and [TS]

  talk loud because they didn't understand [TS]

  English the whole childhood shakemap [TS]

  them with red lines on it i'm not just [TS]

  being treated like that with my mom and [TS]

  dad bought a house in 60 [TS]

  let's say four in the name in within the [TS]

  the redline neighborhood in a hidden in [TS]

  a neighborhood that was that had already [TS]

  that was that we had always directly [TS]

  Chinese well no that was that way that [TS]

  that they were deciding already was [TS]

  going to be the ghetto and the banks and [TS]

  you know my dad of course was my dad [TS]

  knew knew his banker as as you did at [TS]

  the time if you were if you were [TS]

  prominent a white guy [TS]

  and his banker was like Dave come on you [TS]

  can't buy down in that neighborhood it's [TS]

  you know like basically saying we are [TS]

  conspiring to turn that neighborhood [TS]

  into a shithole like what are you [TS]

  thinking [TS]

  have you been not coming to the meetings [TS]

  and my dad that's possible but that was [TS]

  like now now we're gonna that's the [TS]

  house we want and the you know and had [TS]

  to kind of twist his bankers arm to [TS]

  protect to agree you know to get even [TS]

  I'm gonna say this even my dad couldn't [TS]

  easily get a mortgage in that [TS]

  neighborhood because it was like a [TS]

  citywide plan knows risk is like risky [TS]

  let's turn this neighborhood into a a a [TS]

  bog you know because government doesn't [TS]

  work let's stop fixing up this neighbor [TS]

  I think we can all agree on rightminding [TS]

  together they called steering with [TS]

  movement mom's time because it really [TS]

  was i don't think it it could I could [TS]

  almost repeat i think what they meant [TS]

  was don't gently put your hand on the [TS]

  black family shoulders and like move [TS]

  them over to clifton you know what i [TS]

  mean but I mean really like literally [TS]

  steering wheel like to take you to where [TS]

  houses would be it wasn't legal [TS]

  I mean it was a legal thing that was [TS]

  very much a cultural thing where if [TS]

  somebody want to go to indian hill or [TS]

  something [TS]

  you got no no you don't wanna go over [TS]

  there if you want to go over here that [TS]

  you'll be more comfortable here [TS]

  yeah it's like the scene animal house [TS]

  like Achmed like you need a hug dish and [TS]

  Mohammed and yeah yeah I'm very [TS]

  surprised to learn from you in this [TS]

  conversation that there were any classes [TS]

  in Florida pretending to real estate [TS]

  licensing i think it was mostly it was a [TS]

  nominal sort of you know like realistic [TS]

  thing it was like a game of lawn darts [TS]

  right there they drew a circle and if [TS]

  you could get a dart in the circle you [TS]

  were you were [TS]

  yeah these your lieutenant governor it [TS]

  was education by charts look chocolates [TS]

  well i have i have just recently found [TS]

  in the greater seattle area [TS]

  the bit in the Seattle bedroom community [TS]

  of burien a place called hansa sausage & [TS]

  delicatessen owned by hans and Mary on [TS]

  stewin i'm holding their business card [TS]

  and it is it is a german deli I went in [TS]

  there the other day I was driving by and [TS]

  I was like them that building looks like [TS]

  a that the building is like a big Abel [TS]

  vice you know it looked like a it looks [TS]

  like the Eagles Nest but it was in [TS]

  between two auto shops and I went in and [TS]

  they're all these Germans in there and [TS]

  they're all I you know talking their [TS]

  German talk and I walked over to the [TS]

  deli counter and there's 80 different [TS]

  versts oh my god [TS]

  and I said well what do you got going on [TS]

  here what's so what's the what's the [TS]

  story and the guy was like can be [TS]

  tempted to put up to the list and I said [TS]

  you know you gotta versed sampler it was [TS]

  like you've won seven of us and i got [TS]

  like two pounds of versed sampler where [TS]

  he just went along and it didn't it [TS]

  didn't make it there [TS]

  oh yeah Wow and he went along we cut cut [TS]

  you know three slices of every burst [TS]

  they had he came to the he came to the [TS]

  tongue versed and he held it up and he [TS]

  was like you want the tongue [TS]

  some people don't want the tunnel and I [TS]

  stood there and I said I'm going to be [TS]

  in the am going to be in the don't want [TS]

  the tongue camp it was not it was like [TS]

  em so i left the tongue out but every [TS]

  other kind of worst and I've been [TS]

  working through it here every day like [TS]

  is it is all Marc see you know which is [TS]

  which worst is worst know it was it [TS]

  wasn't it's like guess guess the worst [TS]

  is the game so i'll pull three slices [TS]

  out and I'm like wow you know you smell [TS]

  it it's like what is this this is crazy [TS]

  so i highly recommend that you find the [TS]

  german deli in your neighborhood [TS]

  can go in and get the first sampler [TS]

  because it is a it's truly a journey in [TS]

  meet have you been happy with the but [TS]

  there's also far i have been happy I [TS]

  mean you know anytime I see a nice [TS]

  anytime I see a mental loaf or abalone [TS]

  abalone that has pistachios in it [TS]

  I'm a little wary but this stuff is you [TS]

  know that's all tall either made their [TS]

  or he's got some connection back in [TS]

  Heidelberg the first of all that sounds [TS]

  fantastic but this is so awful the first [TS]

  thing comes to my head is I can't [TS]

  believe it hasn't been co-opted by [TS]

  hipsters it seems like exactly the kind [TS]

  of place where hipsters would sweep in [TS]

  and ruin it [TS]

  well this is what submit this is what [TS]

  why it's in burien it's it's perfectly [TS]

  outside of like the orbit of of hipsters [TS]

  that they have that they haven't found [TS]

  it you know what I mean and it's and [TS]

  it's legitimately like you walk in there [TS]

  there's a there's a shelf with 24 kinds [TS]

  of mustard and I i asked the little [TS]

  hausfrau to come over and talk to me [TS]

  about the mustard and she walked over [TS]

  and she was like you know she kinda [TS]

  tapped on one that was mustered that had [TS]

  been packaged in a little beer stein and [TS]

  she's like that's the hot stuff and I [TS]

  was like sold and then she you know hit [TS]

  another one and she was like that [TS]

  stuff's really good too and I grab that [TS]

  was you know [TS]

  loading up on Monster dwellings they're [TS]

  pretty hot [TS]

  alright I think it's fantastic I i love [TS]

  i love finding stuff like that [TS]

  here's the funny thing that when you're [TS]

  talking about like tongue like you know [TS]

  I might have gone for the tone because I [TS]

  like was it the lingua or whatever the [TS]

  college right now you're talking [TS]

  that's good yes it's real good i but you [TS]

  know when I see something like the [TS]

  things a lot of stuff been like really [TS]

  bastardized and dumb down instantly [TS]

  think of stuff like Bologna [TS]

  I mean it's still going to be you know [TS]

  whatever snouts and and buts or whatever [TS]

  right but you know you can get a pretty [TS]

  good version that had I draw the line [TS]

  headcheese yeah I can't even look at it [TS]

  he's just looks like it's mocking it's [TS]

  mocking you with how much weird shit [TS]

  isn't it [TS]

  if you if you order a hot dog you're [TS]

  probably eating plenty of tongue but [TS]

  this was this was rough chopped and [TS]

  formed into a sausage that was six [TS]

  inches across [TS]

  so it looked like ground bark [TS]

  I like if the second reason I think he [TS]

  did the right thing yeah yeah I want me [TS]

  I'm easing into it I mean I you know I [TS]

  like a little bit of I I'm Polly [TS]

  liverwurst all day but the but the like [TS]

  the rough chopped [TS]

  I mean rough chopped to the extent that [TS]

  there were plenty of taste buds visible [TS]

  haha in your in your to giant log of of [TS]

  like tongues that have been that had [TS]

  been cut out of these beasts [TS]

  yeah and put put into what i can only [TS]

  guess was like a lawnmower and then fed [TS]

  into a sewer pipe and then served on a [TS]

  manhole cover there might be some canary [TS]

  traps in there you never know there [TS]

  might be some joke foods in there that [TS]

  then you can tell you know somebody's a [TS]

  poser if they if they were the wrong [TS]

  thing [TS]

  yeah this seems seems like pro level [TS]

  over but i'm gonna go i'm gonna keep [TS]

  going back to this place i'm gonna go [TS]

  back until until my whole house is [TS]

  decorated in like Baron munchen flax [TS]

  bigger in Munich ilu military time me [TS]

  and old-timey shop we got the the [TS]

  sausages hanging from the ceiling so [TS]

  although that was the bet was the best [TS]

  part is I'm walking out I turn around [TS]

  and I go back to the butcher kind of got [TS]

  this big bag of meat and mi and I look [TS]

  at the guy and he was very friendly and [TS]

  I said did I miss anything [TS]

  what am i missing like giving him the [TS]

  kind of squinty-eyed like you tell me [TS]

  what I'm missing and he nods turns [TS]

  around and goes and grabs a big string [TS]

  of lon da ger off the wall which are [TS]

  those little dried [TS]

  I like turkey sausages and you know [TS]

  there and the time together in a string [TS]

  of sausages but you know they're like [TS]

  they're like Germans I got pepperoni [TS]

  kind of thing [TS]

  yeah it's like it's like that you can [TS]

  keep it at room temperature it's dried [TS]

  and yeah you you pull it out of your [TS]

  pocket and you you'd bite off a hunk and [TS]

  and put it back in your pocket right in [TS]

  your wheelhouse John i have all the [TS]

  things I've seen these lon jaegers in my [TS]

  travels in Germany like if you get out [TS]

  into the country everybody's got one in [TS]

  his shirt pocket [TS]

  they're just they're just like they keep [TS]

  them around because who doesn't want a [TS]

  bite of delicious german pepperoni [TS]

  throughout it looks it looks kind of [TS]

  like a an upscale slim jim [TS]

  exactly and so this any and i say am I [TS]

  missing anything he turns around and is [TS]

  like lon jager and he brings me like a [TS]

  string of them and and I and I plot i [TS]

  purchased like a a fairly long string [TS]

  but when i got home and started like [TS]

  just carrying one around and come [TS]

  chewing on it i realized that i had [TS]

  under ordered by a thousand percent next [TS]

  time that I go I'm going to get many [TS]

  that my whole out it's my Christmas tree [TS]

  is going to be decorated with strings of [TS]

  longer because it's the old so it's it's [TS]

  it's totally it's the perfect it's the [TS]

  perfect meet food [TS]

  it looks like it's almost like you're [TS]

  almost like smoking like you get like [TS]

  get out like a like a three cigar holder [TS]

  and like that it's the state's the size [TS]

  and shape of a chair root em yeah my god [TS]

  this is making me hungry looks really i [TS]

  just had a speaking of the other end of [TS]

  the spectrum i just had a I had a dirty [TS]

  south doesn't hurry so I want to get a [TS]

  dirty self talk about the dirty south [TS]

  right [TS]

  tell me again about the jury say it's a [TS]

  hot dog with chili yeah and cole slaw [TS]

  and BBQ sauce [TS]

  whoa-hoo-hoo mr.right act week and I had [TS]

  to kind of fast so yeah I know I know [TS]

  there's no way that you don't want to [TS]

  savor one of those you want to just want [TS]

  to put it in yet [TS]

  yeah everybody just kind of its real [TS]

  wide because it kind of spreads out the [TS]

  bun it's it's it's definitely like a [TS]

  like I even the fork thing but not gonna [TS]

  hate myself [TS]

  what's up the bone through i have went [TS]

  to a cocktail party last night for a it [TS]

  was a [TS]

  fundraiser because I as i described i'm [TS]

  trying to get more and more involved in [TS]

  local politics and the more involved I [TS]

  get the more I realize even Seattle and [TS]

  and washington state politics are [TS]

  completely gnarly realm of like blood [TS]

  oath and vendetta like half the people I [TS]

  met this cocktail party last night were [TS]

  in the olive oil business it's it is [TS]

  it's just and and you make allegiances [TS]

  and and alliances with people and then [TS]

  later on you regret them hands down down [TS]

  at the left end of the spectrum you [TS]

  still get a lot of vile olive oil [TS]

  industry that's the thing it's all it's [TS]

  all left up here [TS]

  I mean that it is certainly in the [TS]

  circles I travel and it's just like [TS]

  progressives against progressives but my [TS]

  god they go for the jugular and so i'm [TS]

  at anyway I'm at this party last night [TS]

  and there's a there's like a buffet [TS]

  I walked over and I can't eat any of the [TS]

  the starchy stuff but there are these [TS]

  like delicious look like cream cheese [TS]

  filled green peppers and so I gobble a [TS]

  handful of them and like two peppers and [TS]

  I realize their cream cheese filled [TS]

  jalapenos that have not been completely [TS]

  divested of their jalapeno seeds and so [TS]

  I i plow through a you know a baker's [TS]

  dozen of these things before i realized [TS]

  that they are that they are spice [TS]

  grenades [TS]

  I can't believe they're serving these at [TS]

  an event full of normal people like I is [TS]

  that kind of hot where you can take a [TS]

  bite and go that's spicy but then it may [TS]

  not really hit you for a little minute [TS]

  anyway so talk about may not hit you for [TS]

  a while [TS]

  it's really hitting me today oh no you [TS]

  need to go no no i I've mostly a mostly [TS]

  covered all those bases but you know but [TS]

  I'm sitting here I i'm sitting here like [TS]

  a like I am sitting on a porcupine 000 [TS]

  which is which is good it's so it's part [TS]

  of part of growing old [TS]

  that's very centering you know it's [TS]

  really keeping me in the moment it's [TS]

  keeping me focused on the now it's easy [TS]

  to overlook when you're just merely [TS]

  getting older it's easy to overlook how [TS]

  quickly everything escalates [TS]

  yeah that it isn't really just a thing [TS]

  of like suddenly there's this thing [TS]

  that's a little different it see you [TS]

  don't even have time to keep up with how [TS]

  many things are changing [TS]

  yeah I can't see I can't eat I can't [TS]

  drink coffee after nine in the morning I [TS]

  can't climb stairs its I you know I feel [TS]

  like I feel like walking out on an [TS]

  iceberg for an ice floe and just like [TS]

  setting sail but then I realized no I've [TS]

  got 40 more years of this but this is [TS]

  just if you're lucky you will have [TS]

  another 40 years of decline the more you [TS]

  know you might want to sit on the [TS]

  iceberg for awhile today but I since i [TS]

  have since i have stopped eating sugar [TS]

  and pasta and rice i have experienced a [TS]

  total transformation and I rim really [TS]

  enjoying it I'm enjoying every aspect of [TS]

  it but there's this nagging feeling that [TS]

  I have become one of those middle-aged [TS]

  men who is about to say I've never been [TS]

  in such good shape in my life I've never [TS]

  felt so young and you know like and I [TS]

  don't I do not want to do not want to go [TS]

  into my middle-aged with a kayak on my [TS]

  roof rack you know what I mean I see you [TS]

  in some patagonia zipped all the way up [TS]

  is to this morning I woke up and I was [TS]

  inspired to put on some wide wale [TS]

  corduroys [TS]

  that's okay that'sthat's within your [TS]

  I'll yeah but I started Oriole [TS]

  wheelhouse like I've been wearing I've [TS]

  been wearing thin well chords for the [TS]

  last 20 years and to transition to why [TS]

  dwell chords it just feels like I I I [TS]

  don't know I'm starting to feel like a [TS]

  sitcom father I'm I'm starting to feel [TS]

  like like I should be in a state like I [TS]

  should be the father in a sitcom where I [TS]

  a UFO alien is trying to pass as a [TS]

  normal high school kid and he's living [TS]

  with a he's living with the family and [TS]

  he's he looks like he's a he's a [TS]

  handsome kid he's got a good couple of [TS]

  good catch phrases but he gets into a [TS]

  lot of trouble because he's a UFO [TS]

  so you're like your character actor from [TS]

  some late seventies early eighties like [TS]

  comedies and you've got your first or [TS]

  second gig [TS]

  unlike an ABC show yeah exactly this is [TS]

  like this is like it's like 3rd rock or [TS]

  uh what was or Al for what was the one [TS]

  where that the Bigfoot lived with them [TS]

  is a hearing the Andersons area in the [TS]

  hundred well that was a movie right [TS]

  yeah but i mean yet but you it would be [TS]

  kind of john lithgow ask do you think [TS]

  you know I think I am I have for 25 [TS]

  years I've been kind of afraid of ending [TS]

  up like john lithgow in the world [TS]

  according to garp freely [TS]

  yeah it is hmm scraping scraping feeling [TS]

  hesitant to pull this thread is that the [TS]

  more it becomes a lady i just i remember [TS]

  watching that movie and feeling like of [TS]

  all the of all the actors in this movie [TS]

  the one that resembles me physically the [TS]

  most is John with gal and I don't like I [TS]

  don't like to I don't want to end up [TS]

  being john lithgow i do not want to be [TS]

  Michael Caine in hannah and her sisters [TS]

  oh you're get you don't want to become [TS]

  like the neutered old guy the older guy [TS]

  with the weird haircut huh looks a [TS]

  little bit like I like a lesbian [TS]

  those glasses are too busy you know I [TS]

  mean you lose that you lose any kind of [TS]

  you know that looks certain guys get [TS]

  their fifties when they start looking a [TS]

  little bit shiny and kind of like a lady [TS]

  I don't want to get you know I the last [TS]

  time I saw the psychedelic firms ho ho [TS]

  I was like he looks like someone's [TS]

  grandmother she used to be so scary and [TS]

  cool and now he really looks like a [TS]

  grandma now I bet that's really not [TS]

  Richard Butler I bet that's really not [TS]

  what he was shooting for [TS]

  no I don't think anybody don't think any [TS]

  any straight man and probably not even [TS]

  any gay men are trying to look like [TS]

  grandmother's yeah um and so but but [TS]

  also but I but I'm terrified that as I [TS]

  try and take better care of myself like [TS]

  already in the last several weeks then [TS]

  the number of conversations I've had [TS]

  about my food and my health have [TS]

  skyrocketed it's fifty percent of what I [TS]

  talk about two people now even as I [TS]

  stand there saying I am I apologize that [TS]

  i'm talking about my health and my food [TS]

  right now and people like no no I'm very [TS]

  interested I'm like you can't be [TS]

  interested i have overheard a million of [TS]

  these conversations I'm embarrassed for [TS]

  myself but I really have nothing else to [TS]

  say I have nothing I have no other [TS]

  interests right now except in like my [TS]

  food intake and my and the energy that [TS]

  that it that my body is turning that [TS]

  food into and I'm so embarrassed I'm [TS]

  embarrassed for myself I used to talk [TS]

  about so many things [TS]

  the world domination striking fear into [TS]

  the hearts of villagers and now i'm just [TS]

  like quinoa quinoa this is your baby [TS]

  you're having a latent period maybe [TS]

  you're just taking a little bit of time [TS]

  off from affairs of the day [TS]

  yeah yeah okay yeah I great is it is [TS]

  super boring to hear it I hear myself [TS]

  talking about you know the other day I [TS]

  realized you know is I was where the [TS]

  same thing [TS]

  and I want to pick up my daughter at [TS]

  school and I kind of went through my [TS]

  head that I probably should have worn [TS]

  something else that i showed up at [TS]

  school and I looked like I look so silly [TS]

  i was bringing anything like a [TS]

  five-year-old boy like a five-year-old [TS]

  boy was 50 really give that a minute so [TS]

  i think that's the Russell Simmons act [TS]

  right addresses confessing later he'll [TS]

  fit now that I had I i really need a [TS]

  haircut [TS]

  I hadn't shaved in a couple days since [TS]

  then I clean some of this stuff up but I [TS]

  i still need a haircut but I showed up [TS]

  by my hair was too i think i'd take a [TS]

  nap and I woke up and I had to scurry [TS]

  and I pulled on a pair of 34 thirties [TS]

  that haven't really had the full effect [TS]

  they had blown out knees blowing out [TS]

  right pocket to wear my plan underwear [TS]

  was sticking out and for some reason I [TS]

  guess I white my left hand right hand [TS]

  I've read my right hand on my leg a lot [TS]

  because that's what that's a pattern now [TS]

  there's like a a roan kind of patch of [TS]

  former hand dander on my pants and I [TS]

  think I had the presence of mind I [TS]

  didn't put on the purple high-top tennis [TS]

  shoes i think i put on remember the dad [TS]

  shoes I got remember those keen walking [TS]

  shoes everybody made fun of my god i was [TS]

  wearing the dad shoes with blown-out [TS]

  blue jeans plaid underwear and what I'm [TS]

  wearing right now [TS]

  fantastic four short number one the old [TS]

  one and I show up there with a backpack [TS]

  and a rattle look at i got a handheld [TS]

  video game and like what are you doing [TS]

  here [TS]

  you're almost 47 like that's like a no I [TS]

  don't want to overthink this stuff and [TS]

  so the next day want to pick her up [TS]

  I wore khaki pants and I were khaki [TS]

  pants and I War I think I war or that's [TS]

  called the the desert cheese that you [TS]

  are no chuckles yeah [TS]

  clarks I with parents brothers dark dark [TS]

  brown Clark's and as I yeah what do you [TS]

  think huh [TS]

  she's like yeah then look like you is [TS]

  like a parents in court but well i'm [TS]

  finding like I went to bumbershoot and I [TS]

  was wearing my white linen [TS]

  a like my coolest white linen pains to [TS]

  this event because i was i was going to [TS]

  be interviewed on stage a couple of [TS]

  times and I you know and it was a hot [TS]

  very hot day and I wanted to like [TS]

  represent some white linen on the [TS]

  fairgrounds because everybody in seattle [TS]

  is going to be wearing the exact same [TS]

  you know the exact same outfit of Levi's [TS]

  535 jeans or whatever the help and so [TS]

  they take some pictures of me and they [TS]

  posted on the brooklyn vegan website and [TS]

  the first comment like Brooklyn Vegan [TS]

  always treats me really well they're [TS]

  great website of indie rock fans but [TS]

  they have the shittiest New York Stock [TS]

  new york-based commenters and the first [TS]

  comment is nice dockers dude thanks for [TS]

  taking the time and I'm like I'm like at [TS]

  the time what about what I slid into [TS]

  soccer [TS]

  my takeaway was that it no longer [TS]

  matters what I wear to a to a [TS]

  twenty-six-year-old if they look like [TS]

  dockers like a twenty-six-year-old from [TS]

  now until eternity is going to be able [TS]

  to slay me by just saying nice doctors [TS]

  dude [TS]

  yes you arguing back is going to be like [TS]

  no that wasn't on NBC it was on the [TS]

  Dumont Network distinction do because [TS]

  there's no arguing there's no saying [TS]

  like get a life like a fucking my pic [TS]

  nice dockers dude is end is the end of [TS]

  the story it was the first comment and [TS]

  at and as much as as much as I want to [TS]

  while that guy is sleeping like find out [TS]

  where he lives [TS]

  show up at his like miserable studio [TS]

  apartment in Williamsburg with me [TS]

  sharing with four people kick down the [TS]

  door in the middle of the night [TS]

  tell his three screaming roommates shut [TS]

  up and sit in the corner while I [TS]

  flamethrower him with a world war two [TS]

  airplane door and as he's sitting [TS]

  there's no screaming and burning just be [TS]

  like nice doctors too [TS]

  as much as I want to do that course like [TS]

  that's that is all that is a waste of my [TS]

  that is a waste of my resources and [TS]

  Savior miles but but I'm you know I do [TS]

  not want to do not want to go the rest [TS]

  of my life and be wearing you know and [TS]

  increasingly be trying to wear like [TS]

  purple nylon parachute pants just to [TS]

  avoid the nice doctors did comment and [TS]

  then still be completely vulnerable to [TS]

  it like I could be wearing I could be [TS]

  wearing harlequin pans palio cheap ants [TS]

  and some to know [TS]

  twenty-seven-year-old be like nice [TS]

  doctors dude and it's just the it's over [TS]

  because that is the like that is [TS]

  shorthand for you you are too old to be [TS]

  here it is [TS]

  you're too old to be on brooklyn vegan [TS]

  we're both facing something that we only [TS]

  ever saw before from a remove which is [TS]

  when men and women reach an age where [TS]

  they became what they become [TS]

  non-combatants in the game of youth you [TS]

  know and so I think I i think one reason [TS]

  that middle-aged guys especially [TS]

  libidinous middle-aged guys get so [TS]

  fucking weird is it suddenly dawns on [TS]

  them that young girls are not thinking [TS]

  about them like not even like thinking [TS]

  about not looking at anything and then [TS]

  if they do it's it's not your believe me [TS]

  they're not thinking about that they're [TS]

  not they're not done you know and it [TS]

  unless it is some kind of like like one [TS]

  of those freaky gold digger type [TS]

  situations where the creepy old guy and [TS]

  a you know a gal who wants a place to [TS]

  live or something like like cool girls [TS]

  are not looking at us [TS]

  it's and I think for a lot of guys that [TS]

  is extremely hard to accept [TS]

  yeah I don't think that's true with you [TS]

  here but we really are where we have [TS]

  fallen off the radar screen what worries [TS]

  me talk about the purple Polly actually [TS]

  a parachute pants I I'll I think about [TS]

  when I was young and I would say we [TS]

  could see some movies you go and watch [TS]

  you know actors and especially actresses [TS]

  who were once considered very beautiful [TS]

  and maybe that was their primary thing [TS]

  where they obviously lost track of what [TS]

  they actually look like now [TS]

  yeah yeah and they there's something [TS]

  about you know your vision changes over [TS]

  time you actually see things more sepia [TS]

  as you get older because of the cataract [TS]

  out what happen [TS]

  your eyes you think see things more [TS]

  brightly when you're young it's true and [TS]

  and so that's their lipstick starts [TS]

  looking more orange and everything's [TS]

  class xi and they're there they got the [TS]

  zany feet sticking out of their fancy [TS]

  shows any fees when you don't talk about [TS]

  that injection that good for you a for [TS]

  effort but you know it's okay if you [TS]

  wear something more age-appropriate and [TS]

  that's why I started to think more about [TS]

  age-appropriate not doing anything about [TS]

  it but well that's that's that's what [TS]

  that's what's going on with these wide [TS]

  well corduroys see I refuse I refuse to [TS]

  allow because there's a there's a [TS]

  there's a strange component in women [TS]

  yeah where I hear that yes there is and [TS]

  uh and it is that a that older men are [TS]

  inexplicably attracted to be attractive [TS]

  to younger women because they have some [TS]

  set of some sort of quality some [TS]

  inevitable set of like father like a [TS]

  talent that young women admire so I do [TS]

  not allow that they are not continuing [TS]

  to look at me but they're there but [TS]

  they're looking at me [TS]

  they're looking in a different way whoo [TS]

  & and honestly when I was 24 [TS]

  they looked at me only with contempt and [TS]

  derision so that in some ways this is my [TS]

  it's always been a complicated matter [TS]

  for you [TS]

  yeah now I'm finally I am finally [TS]

  blooming into the sort of pedagogical [TS]

  sex father role that I have that a train [TS]

  the whole life for this is my early [TS]

  twenties you know they were just they [TS]

  were like they did say I was I was [TS]

  forever alone and but but my own vanity [TS]

  is so much I mean it was always [TS]

  complicated but it's it's so much more [TS]

  complicated now that i am that I'm [TS]

  conscious of this is the thing out there [TS]

  i think there are a lot of older guys [TS]

  are like well you know uh I am sexually [TS]

  attractive to younger women and i'm [TS]

  going to exploit that [TS]

  fact and be be creepier be but not [TS]

  creepy but the be predatory and I still [TS]

  want you know this is the amazing thing [TS]

  about getting older you do not feel you [TS]

  still feel you still feel young and I [TS]

  mean I remember my dad said actually [TS]

  entitled to be young [TS]

  yeah well my dad was 87 he was like two [TS]

  terrible thing about it is that you can [TS]

  old and you still feel young and I was [TS]

  like oh that's really pathetic be old [TS]

  and he was like fuck you [TS]

  but now I'm time now I'm standing in the [TS]

  one in the doorway of it and I'm like oh [TS]

  right like i do not want to be predatory [TS]

  I want to be appreciated and I want to [TS]

  also be age-appropriate and and I want [TS]

  those if i'm going to have if i'm going [TS]

  to have pedagogical relationships i want [TS]

  them to be appropriate I want them to be [TS]

  I want everybody to agree like yes I am [TS]

  sexually appealing i am a middle-aged [TS]

  man who knows some things a lot and John [TS]

  I don't know why but a lot of women are [TS]

  attracted to you [TS]

  it's very it's very strange i've seen it [TS]

  since want to talk about it it's [TS]

  fantastic some people like others [TS]

  there's one lady fallen tumblr who likes [TS]

  your beard LLC is a beard [TS]

  it's so soft and the and the thing was [TS]

  that you know i have described myself as [TS]

  a young person being more or less like [TS]

  an uncooked scallop that was left in the [TS]

  Sun um and uh those were hard times [TS]

  those were does reduce paying times [TS]

  because inside I knew that I was I that [TS]

  I was I was a swashbuckler and that all [TS]

  of these likes young dark intense guys [TS]

  were you know we're just empty shells or [TS]

  whatever they were you know they were [TS]

  peanuts in the mix nut can of life and I [TS]

  was a [TS]

  filbert or better but i but i but but [TS]

  now I'm you know I'm confronting it all [TS]

  because so the picture is socially there [TS]

  are all these kind of a middle-aged guy [TS]

  who is who is appealing to younger women [TS]

  is also appealing to older women and [TS]

  everybody's mad [TS]

  everybody's mad at me already for other [TS]

  reasons but then that you add this [TS]

  component in and everybody gets extra [TS]

  mad like other guys are mad [TS]

  everybody's mad all the time because of [TS]

  your pedagogy but yeah because it to go [TS]

  G that you exuded because the silver fox [TS]

  is a is a caricature and a lot of a lot [TS]

  of guys that that grow into their looks [TS]

  and grow into their their appeal are uh [TS]

  are not very interesting ultimately or [TS]

  you know what I mean like they are [TS]

  they're kind of their it's it is an [TS]

  exploitative think it I think a lot [TS]

  skies III don't know I can follow this [TS]

  and I think a lot of guys just get a [TS]

  different kind of stick and you know [TS]

  maybe become like that's it just almost [TS]

  everything that deviates from the norm [TS]

  starts to reduce creepy when L like you [TS]

  know some rings you know tomorrow o [TS]

  people to that why did you even say that [TS]

  I know I know I know I'm are now i'm [TS]

  sitting on a porcupine again but for [TS]

  different bringing up with that too but [TS]

  you know but this is the thing this is [TS]

  my challenge like I want to enjoy being [TS]

  appreciated let's say that and I thought [TS]

  and I and I don't want to enjoy being [TS]

  appreciated I want to enjoy being [TS]

  appreciated and I don't want for [TS]

  everyone it's just like nature right on [TS]

  there [TS]

  yeah I don't want I don't want to say [TS]

  like because because i spent a lot of [TS]

  time saying oh miss I I don't think you [TS]

  I don't think you're really in love with [TS]

  me I think that you have unresolved you [TS]

  know and she's like uh huh and what [TS]

  walks across the room and goes home with [TS]

  the guide with a motorcycle while I'm [TS]

  sitting there trying to explain to her [TS]

  like what her what her real one a real [TS]

  problem is and now I'm like okay yeah [TS]

  sure I I accept accept your [TS]

  except your gaze that's that's really [TS]

  good of you you've really gotten yes got [TS]

  any more than that but then I look [TS]

  across the room and there's like a 37 [TS]

  year old woman staring at me with a kind [TS]

  of like uh huh uh huh you got your nice [TS]

  yeah exactly and I'm like what what I'm [TS]

  just I'm just talking to my friend [TS]

  mhm she's like hmm and then you know and [TS]

  then the other guys are giving me the [TS]

  same and it's just like I listen I'm I [TS]

  this these silver fox a metals artwork [TS]

  hard 1i eye-catching you know I had no [TS]

  idea that you were dealing with this [TS]

  much [TS]

  yeah it's a lot of I've even a real [TS]

  gentleman about not bringing it up this [TS]

  you got carry this around with you all [TS]

  the time you go to the store you go to [TS]

  the sausage factory [TS]

  wherever you go you're encountering [TS]

  people who are seeing the pedagogical [TS]

  silver fox [TS]

  yeah but you want to be able to enjoy [TS]

  them enjoying it well and this is the [TS]

  thing a lot of people want to learn [TS]

  right and i want to teach and it's like [TS]

  it's like I'm a it's like them a free [TS]

  radical and I'm going around and I'm but [TS]

  I'm connecting with people some neurons [TS]

  and that it there's an open space and [TS]

  and I'm you know I'm clicking and [TS]

  clicking in i'm just imagining [TS]

  explaining to someone in a very loud bar [TS]

  if you're free why free radical radical [TS]

  she teach seminars up they got how many [TS]

  guys a little bit of money could learn [TS]

  from you [TS]

  I know jumping your white coming oh but [TS]

  this is a but I don't feel like it is [TS]

  transferable knowledge like I feel like [TS]

  some of this sky it's gotta be you gotta [TS]

  put the hours in right we got to put the [TS]

  hours in and you also have to have that [TS]

  that ineffable like like a some people [TS]

  grow out of out of there looks like you [TS]

  were describing people who are famous [TS]

  for being beautiful when they're young [TS]

  and they forget what they look like and [TS]

  they turn into these like handbags as [TS]

  they get older they turn into laundry [TS]

  acres [TS]

  and then there are people like me who [TS]

  grow into their looks as they get older [TS]

  and go from looking like an uncooked [TS]

  scallop to looking like a and like a [TS]

  mighty fur step step on the top of a are [TS]

  you as you see here today because you've [TS]

  been aware how much thought you put into [TS]

  this i'm mostly putting the thought into [TS]

  it right now let's coming out great up [TS]

  don't want to lucky you want to grow [TS]

  into your into your sausage and out of [TS]

  your schedule [TS]

  that's right yeah here he crawl out of [TS]

  your out of your scalp and you become [TS]

  interesting you know and and to whatever [TS]

  degree and this is the problem with the [TS]

  this is but this is one of the [TS]

  stereotypical gender problems which is [TS]

  that older fascinating women who have [TS]

  grown into their looks are not it like [TS]

  widely attractive to young callow men [TS]

  but there is a there is a certain [TS]

  component or certain kind of aspect to [TS]

  sex roles where like fascinating older [TS]

  men are attractive to young women [TS]

  because women young women are kind of [TS]

  more interesting the you will in this [TS]

  world who wants to learn more than young [TS]

  women who has a war to teach the old men [TS]

  it's true you see that young receptacles [TS]

  just waiting to be filled with internet [TS]

  information it's terrible but i am in it [TS]

  you know like this is the subject of so [TS]

  many angry editorials in ms magazine [TS]

  it's the subject of a lot of late 20th [TS]

  century novels it is i mean it's a trope [TS]

  it is a it is a it's something that [TS]

  people are mad at films about why it is [TS]

  what george clooney is 69 years old why [TS]

  is leading lady always 26 that can be [TS]

  real creepy it's tara parents Harris's [TS]

  forward and honoree is 90 [TS]

  yeah and and they pairing with the with [TS]

  whatever that Welsh lady who's living [TS]

  with [TS]

  what's his name Michael Douglas thank [TS]

  you [TS]

  yeah but I mean that's a that's their [TS]

  actual relationship i mean there they [TS]

  are in a relationship together and [TS]

  there's a page but you might see more of [TS]

  those than I do [TS]

  I don't know I I mean more of the angry [TS]

  editorials are more of the film's yeah i [TS]

  guess for the relationships just want to [TS]

  avoid the whole thing to see this is why [TS]

  we haven't talked about it because i [TS]

  know that it makes you no no it's I'm [TS]

  learning a lot [TS]

  I don't I hadn't thought of myself as a [TS]

  silver fox [TS]

  yes um well because you are happily [TS]

  married and so when you get be approving [TS]

  looks I'm sure you deflect them or you [TS]

  unconsciously it's like five things [TS]

  wrong with that I don't get those really [TS]

  hey I know I think I'm much more [TS]

  attractive to men in their late twenties [TS]

  oh right ok no no not that way [TS]

  no I know what you mean though I know [TS]

  what you mean I practically my comic the [TS]

  Marilyn Monroe nerds in some ways yeah [TS]

  they they all [TS]

  yeah this is fine i mean that's that's [TS]

  great that's really that's that that's [TS]

  awesome i mean boy am I couldn't ask for [TS]

  more [TS]

  I yeah I just can't take that much [TS]

  libido my life I i I'm so grateful [TS]

  yeah its opinion I don't know how you do [TS]

  it it's just always there right it's [TS]

  always it's something we're like one of [TS]

  the bathroom like you're always gonna [TS]

  have to go again and the of the libido [TS]

  just builds right back up i like it like [TS]

  a great royal insist [TS]

  yeah well part of it is that I you know [TS]

  I I walk around like mid-period John [TS]

  Wayne you know I kind of like heck hold [TS]

  my arms out a little bit in in case you [TS]

  run into a wall case i need to draw my [TS]

  my oh it's like fire like Justin Worley [TS]

  he's really really drunk and if the [TS]

  American there's a little bit of that [TS]

  laughs at this talk to a party last [TS]

  night I i went all the way to the end [TS]

  and I'm with it [TS]

  I'm with this crowd of like you know [TS]

  like local liberal activist engaged rich [TS]

  mafioso mafiosi [TS]

  and everybody's shit faced and they're [TS]

  not just shitfaced on liquor they're [TS]

  like shit faced on pills and liquor and [TS]

  we're sitting around it's like it [TS]

  chaplaincy the netbook it's fucking [TS]

  terrible [TS]

  we're sitting around a table in there [TS]

  and it's and it's all really really [TS]

  expensive liquor to all these these [TS]

  bottles that have like handmade labels [TS]

  it's like oh this is one of one of a [TS]

  hundred bottles of this this cask and [TS]

  what it's going to say was a fundraiser [TS]

  this is like a strategic meeting was [TS]

  more like having fun hanging out and [TS]

  make a little money for the cause [TS]

  well it's a fundraiser but it's very [TS]

  early in the game and so it was a [TS]

  strategic meeting at this the the the [TS]

  candidate who was at this party went [TS]

  around and pointed out all the other [TS]

  elected officials that were in the room [TS]

  and it was probably seventy seventy [TS]

  percent of the 70 people there were [TS]

  elected officials in Washington state [TS]

  including like high like high [TS]

  mucky-mucks like prosecutors and big big [TS]

  wheels and then there were you know 20 [TS]

  of us who were local the people local [TS]

  local normals are local tattoo taste and [TS]

  and money developer people and so the [TS]

  candidates all bail or the you know the [TS]

  politicians have to get out of there [TS]

  they made their appearance and then the [TS]

  rest of us are sitting around and it's [TS]

  like oh you're the guy that runs that [TS]

  oh you're the guy that runs that we're [TS]

  sitting around and everybody's fucked up [TS]

  and be a little by little they they peel [TS]

  off until there's just this this group [TS]

  around the table and it is at this point [TS]

  like a planning session except everybody [TS]

  so i can loaded and I'm sitting there at [TS]

  the table i'm the only one that's sober [TS]

  but if you if you pan the camera back my [TS]

  body language [TS]

  is I and I became conscious of this like [TS]

  I kind of zoomed out I was like you look [TS]

  like the most fucked-up of all of them [TS]

  like i was slouching in my chair leaning [TS]

  on the leading on the table and half on [TS]

  my hand with one foot up on a potted [TS]

  plant my eyes half-closed slurring my [TS]

  words almost in the in partly in a sin [TS]

  like sympathetic imitation of everybody [TS]

  else had a contact speech impediment [TS]

  right but also i'm i'm i'm most [TS]

  comfortable in that it like where the [TS]

  inhibitions where everybody's [TS]

  inhibitions are so far in the rearview [TS]

  mirror that were that we are seconds [TS]

  away from just tumbling into bed with [TS]

  each other you know I'm lying I'm kind [TS]

  of lying on this table like listen [TS]

  here's what you fuckers need to [TS]

  understand about metro and how it [TS]

  interacts with the sewer system and I'm [TS]

  like why am i why am I Oh what is that [TS]

  why I sound like John Wayne at that [TS]

  commencement the 1968 come commencement [TS]

  who is against Vietnam I don't [TS]

  understand it [TS]

  how could you be against America on says [TS]

  for clapping up and I and I realize like [TS]

  this is this is what you get to that [TS]

  point and that's cut that's kind of what [TS]

  who I really am the rest of the time my [TS]

  my by a my clearer speech and my clearer [TS]

  main it's all just it's it's all just [TS]

  drag it's like straight World drag [TS]

  really what I would really rather be [TS]

  doing is have one hand down the front of [TS]

  my pants and be yelling at somebody [TS]

  about about the school district [TS]

  that's that's when you're in your [TS]

  element [TS]

  yeah yelling yelling it yelling at some [TS]

  state legislature about uh about [TS]

  earmarks with my pants off before i fall [TS]

  i like every time I thought but [TS]

  sometimes don't you get a little weary [TS]

  of being around too intoxicated people [TS]

  does not get on your nerves after awhile [TS]

  I didn't get that feeling [TS]

  ninety-nine percent of the time it does [TS]

  because ninety nine percent of the time [TS]

  people get shit-faced and all they have [TS]

  to talk about is their record [TS]

  collections you know but this end as [TS]

  opposed to millage since that this group [TS]

  of guys it they are that you know [TS]

  they're talking about millions of [TS]

  dollars and and war realms of influence [TS]

  and the more fucked up they get that [TS]

  they just want to talk more and more [TS]

  about the world that they live in which [TS]

  is this world of like the guys from [TS]

  bellagio want to come up and make an [TS]

  investment in this bridge project that's [TS]

  like wait a minute what did you just say [TS]

  the guys from bellagio why do they want [TS]

  to make an investment in this bridge [TS]

  project oh because the you know the [TS]

  there's a lot of money in these big [TS]

  construction projects and I'm like oh [TS]

  right of course there is [TS]

  haha up so the more drunk these guys get [TS]

  and fucked up they they get like the [TS]

  more interesting the conversation gets [TS]

  in a way because their guard drops and [TS]

  then you're talking about some like [TS]

  crazy crazy shit that you know it's [TS]

  never going to make it into the [TS]

  newspaper and unless it's the topic of a [TS]

  federal indictment so setting aside the [TS]

  chili peppers when you get home for an [TS]

  event like that you feel like it was a [TS]

  night well spent [TS]

  I can't tell because this is the this is [TS]

  what I've been experiencing the last [TS]

  year of getting more and more involved [TS]

  in local politics is that I feel at a [TS]

  certain point out of my depth and I'm [TS]

  not used to feeling out of my depth and [TS]

  growing up in a bit with politicians all [TS]

  around [TS]

  I I got used to i got used to [TS]

  interacting out at a surface level with [TS]

  this kind of business and feeling and I [TS]

  guess made the mistake of feeling like [TS]

  if you can talk the talk and if you are [TS]

  chummy with everybody [TS]

  then all these deals just kind of get [TS]

  made and everybody wins and even looking [TS]

  at my dad's life and and my uncle's life [TS]

  and the people that I know who felt like [TS]

  they had been miss dealt time and time [TS]

  again you know my dad always complained [TS]

  about not being ruthless enough it it [TS]

  was his it was his main it was it wasn't [TS]

  a thing he didn't want to be more [TS]

  ruthless he just he just was continually [TS]

  surprised that at the moment when the [TS]

  deal was done and everybody was shaking [TS]

  hands [TS]

  there was always somebody there with a [TS]

  with a knife in the gut and in the end [TS]

  the thing gets taken away or the [TS]

  percentage gets reduced or the you know [TS]

  it's like oh I'm glad we signed this but [TS]

  right before i sign i just wanna I just [TS]

  wanted to insert one really minor little [TS]

  thing that is going to change the nature [TS]

  of this deal and take everybody for a [TS]

  ride you know like that aspect of it [TS]

  my dad rude it and so here i am now like [TS]

  dipping my toes in the water in my [TS]

  mid-forties after years of working in a [TS]

  scummy business the music business but [TS]

  also feeling like time and time again [TS]

  not that I got not that I was rooked but [TS]

  that my nature is such that when [TS]

  somebody says all right great [TS]

  there it is there's the deal I I relax [TS]

  too soon [TS]

  I go great [TS]

  alright we've got a deal shake on it and [TS]

  then you'd then I'm not watching out [TS]

  when two weeks later an invoice comes [TS]

  for all this you know like oh well they [TS]

  were set up charges and then we had to [TS]

  pay the other things like your burglar [TS]

  alarm [TS]

  exactly and in in as I could deep as i [TS]

  could dip into local politics i realized [TS]

  that what what's has seemed to me in 30 [TS]

  years of reading the Daily newspaper as [TS]

  like well that's a simple matter you [TS]

  just get the guys from the waterfront [TS]

  down there and you get the guys from the [TS]

  shipping companies and you put them all [TS]

  in a room and use strike a deal like [TS]

  yeah except the guys from bellagio have [TS]

  an interest in the project and all of a [TS]

  sudden there's a guy from the Army Corps [TS]

  of Engineers here and what the hell is [TS]

  he doing here and nobody's nobody's [TS]

  acknowledging him but I but like a the [TS]

  Chairman looks over at him and he [TS]

  imperceptibly nods and then the Chairman [TS]

  calls a recess you know like all this [TS]

  type of stuff we're like well now when [TS]

  will while I thought we were all thought [TS]

  we had a deal and so I feel out of my [TS]

  depth and people now are starting to say [TS]

  things to me like um there's something [TS]

  in this for you if you back this project [TS]

  because I don't [TS]

  yeah and I don't know to what degree [TS]

  this is the thing when i look at my own [TS]

  voice and [TS]

  voice and [TS]

  own influence in seattle i have a pretty [TS]

  clear idea understanding that i have no [TS]

  influence in seattle beyond like or at [TS]

  least my own perception of it is like oh [TS]

  yeah that guy he's this get people hurt [TS]

  his name but people on the other side of [TS]

  this this door are starting to appeal to [TS]

  my vanity and say listen if you come out [TS]

  in public and endorse this candidate for [TS]

  this idea then there will be a seat at [TS]

  the table for you when we start to talk [TS]

  about it or you know if if this [TS]

  candidate get selected and you are at [TS]

  the table then there will be there's a [TS]

  there's opportunity for you to have here [TS]

  have input you you're going to get [TS]

  patronage right with Colin yeah well i [TS]

  will see I'm not seeking that kind of [TS]

  patrons like I don't want a government [TS]

  job but i will but you know that but I [TS]

  have been identified by people now as [TS]

  somebody who is seeking influence or [TS]

  somebody who is who wields a certain [TS]

  amount of influence and edit and [TS]

  everybody that plays this game at a high [TS]

  level knows that people don't want to [TS]

  wield influence don't ever get enough [TS]

  you know like these the really great [TS]

  politicians could be making a fortune if [TS]

  they if any one of them just went and [TS]

  got a ya got a job at a at a major law [TS]

  firm you know I mean like that the big [TS]

  tall the big government guys here in [TS]

  Washington state they could go down to [TS]

  bogel & gates and be making 350 thousand [TS]

  dollars a year walking in the door and [TS]

  instead they're they're working for a [TS]

  hundred and ten thousand dollars a year [TS]

  as a as a government guy because when [TS]

  they walk in the room their Rockstar [TS]

  everywhere they go [TS]

  and that is the pay you know they are [TS]

  powerful people and when when you get [TS]

  identified as somebody and and and I and [TS]

  unfortunately i am one of these people [TS]

  who would sacrifice money in order to [TS]

  have influenced and its really what I [TS]

  have done my whole life my eye I want [TS]

  the I want the power and I want the [TS]

  recognition and the guys the guys who [TS]

  are like yeah you take the power and the [TS]

  recognition and i will take ten percent [TS]

  off the top of everything that gets [TS]

  built in the in this county like those [TS]

  are the guys that take a helicopter [TS]

  everywhere right because they're wetting [TS]

  your beak [TS]

  oh and all these different places right [TS]

  and so anyway I having been so now I'm [TS]

  starting to feel this like guys coming [TS]

  up to me and saying hey we're really [TS]

  glad that you're here and I'm glad that [TS]

  we can count on your voice in this [TS]

  nyquil whoa whoa hold on [TS]

  like I came to this because i am [TS]

  interested but I haven't you don't have [TS]

  endorsed anything that makes like such a [TS]

  bozo thing to say to somebody unless you [TS]

  knew I mean like it's it's almost like [TS]

  you would just assume you're trying to [TS]

  find another it sounds like they're [TS]

  trying to find this swinger just walking [TS]

  around going so you [TS]

  well yeah but then they lean in a little [TS]

  closer they're like yeah well your [TS]

  endorsement [TS]

  I you know your endorsement matters and [TS]

  if we get it then you have this you are [TS]

  invited you're invited to the to a more [TS]

  inner room [TS]

  yeah and I go oh I want you got here [TS]

  sooner than that John because what [TS]

  they're it's as well just in the sense [TS]

  that you might go to get a better deal [TS]

  you never know but also it's like when [TS]

  you join the mob and our gang and the [TS]

  first thing I do is kill somebody so [TS]

  they got something on you like they may [TS]

  be able to be able to offer you the idea [TS]

  the prospect of something that sounds [TS]

  really good and yeah maybe that will [TS]

  eventually pay off and now you owe them [TS]

  and that's the thing i know so I so I'm [TS]

  confronting the fact that I have I'm [TS]

  very comfortable being in charge and i'm [TS]

  entering a world where I'm not in charge [TS]

  and it's not it's not a corporate [TS]

  structure where the rules are clear and [TS]

  where you play by certain rules and [TS]

  there's a certain amount of intrigue but [TS]

  there's also [TS]

  dress like this is a world where you are [TS]

  not in charge [TS]

  the rules are up to and there is no [TS]

  redress of any kind like if you get if [TS]

  you get if you get 99 percent of the way [TS]

  into a deal and you get boxed out of it [TS]

  her here like you can sue them no [TS]

  because there's because they thought of [TS]

  that already first of all and second of [TS]

  all like there were aspects of the deal [TS]

  that that it's all happening on on a [TS]

  handshake and there's no you know what [TS]

  are you gonna say like oh hey i was in [TS]

  on that and then they kicked me out [TS]

  there like we never heard of this guy [TS]

  like what you know so it's like every [TS]

  high-speed it is absolutely every heist [TS]

  movie and it's how politics are played [TS]

  and in a way it's how it's how an aspect [TS]

  of its an aspect of the way cities run [TS]

  and so so I feel out of my depth i [TS]

  really do i'm in these in these [TS]

  situations i'm looking around these guys [TS]

  and I'm like some of these guys are [TS]

  tougher than me and it's not that it's [TS]

  not I mean they're tougher than me in [TS]

  the sense that if we went out into the [TS]

  parking lot I would be they they do have [TS]

  pinky rings and those picky rings are [TS]

  meant to cut you [TS]

  but but also like they're tougher than [TS]

  me like they have they have bodies [TS]

  buried all over the county and I'm I'm [TS]

  like a I'm fresh blood [TS]

  I'm a new guy that's like sniffing [TS]

  around like a I'd like to be involved in [TS]

  this local government I'd sure like to [TS]

  make the world better for the for the [TS]

  citizens of my County and I'd like to be [TS]

  engaged in the in the process [TS]

  these guys are like yeah man come on in [TS]

  and have you know have a seat at the [TS]

  table and and there's like that there's [TS]

  the smell of blood is in the room just [TS]

  like oh so what's that make you want to [TS]

  do [TS]

  what makes me want to figure it out but [TS]

  but I reflect on my father's life as a [TS]

  as a politician and one met um and I've [TS]

  watched I've watched young politicians [TS]

  that I know personally become [TS]

  middle-aged politicians around here and [TS]

  watch their gaze get Flint here and [TS]

  there smile get more like that there's [TS]

  an element of rigor mortis that comes in [TS]

  to their face and it's like oh wow some [TS]

  something is hard about them and then [TS]

  when you look at the national [TS]

  politicians you really look at them [TS]

  those candid photographs you see every [TS]

  once in a while like a u.s. senator [TS]

  that's been there for 25 years and you [TS]

  just see the like the death that's on [TS]

  them and the-the-the like the capacity [TS]

  for evil [TS]

  that's right behind their eyes and you [TS]

  go fuck like those guys even the [TS]

  gentlest even the friendly ones are [TS]

  terrifying wild animals like they think [TS]

  they've held the ring for too long [TS]

  yeah you get that what Ted Kennedy Tip [TS]

  O'Neill dick cheney name anybody in the [TS]

  Democratic Party or really politics has [TS]

  been around for a long time they get [TS]

  that that flabby too much cortisol [TS]

  stress thing plus the gin blossoms and [TS]

  it's just like oh that's that's the [TS]

  corporately behind it looks like the [TS]

  stress is what i see like that but their [TS]

  their their body and their mind their [TS]

  life has been stressed and then [TS]

  repeatedly stressed so many times just [TS]

  so that it becomes a kind of hardened [TS]

  steel like it just gets here for the [TS]

  flabbiness the tensile strength is I am [TS]

  I I feel like even the even the gentle [TS]

  ones like like barney frank or maria [TS]

  cantwell like in those you remember that [TS]

  picture of Ted Bundy that was taken in [TS]

  the courtroom where he made that [TS]

  yeah ferocious screaming face [TS]

  and he was doing he had to be doing it [TS]

  with the knowledge that he was being [TS]

  photographed and it's like this terrible [TS]

  moment where serial killers never really [TS]

  let their guard down that way and he was [TS]

  performing this kind of what does he [TS]

  will look like on his face but it really [TS]

  isn't it really is a terrible picture [TS]

  who and and I see that I see that same [TS]

  kind of scream just on the Placid faces [TS]

  of of CEOs and high-ranking government [TS]

  people where it's just like because [TS]

  these are the people that say like well [TS]

  10,000 10,000 soldiers are going to die [TS]

  during this invasion but that's the [TS]

  price of establishing this beachhead and [TS]

  you just go right i am i am not at the [TS]

  point where I could consign 10,000 [TS]

  people to die with the will and feel [TS]

  confident that that was that was [TS]

  necessary and without that you can't you [TS]

  can't be in that room it's not that they [TS]

  won't invite you in that room but you [TS]

  are just food but they can smell it they [TS]

  absolutely do and I think they smell it [TS]

  on me right now here in local politics [TS]

  like I am food and they don't know they [TS]

  don't know how much food I am or how [TS]

  good I am like how tasty i am departing [TS]

  a politician is being able to quickly [TS]

  size up what it is [TS]

  somebody once is likely to want and what [TS]

  the minimum amount of it that you could [TS]

  speculatively give to them to bring them [TS]

  over to your side right that's exactly [TS]

  right whether that's a stop sign or you [TS]

  know you're going to change in village [TS]

  or whatever it is that you could you [TS]

  could really size somebody up and then [TS]

  be very warm and how you warm [TS]

  appropriately warm in the way that you [TS]

  presented to them so that they walk away [TS]

  feeling like they got the best deal in [TS]

  the world [TS]

  yeah and I feel amazing as you and trust [TS]

  you that's exactly right and i think [TS]

  that when they look at me [TS]

  their first that that their perception [TS]

  is he doesn't want [TS]

  a concession of any kind he's not trying [TS]

  to get a speed bump put in on his Street [TS]

  he's not trying to get hit his [TS]

  neighborhood school to have staggered [TS]

  opening terms or whatever like this guy [TS]

  is here because he wants to be a player [TS]

  and they had those politicians have to [TS]

  have a different way of dealing with [TS]

  people who want to be players then [TS]

  dealing with the with their constituents [TS]

  or for people who are coming trying to [TS]

  get a deal for their union you know and [TS]

  that that is why I'm that's why I'm [TS]

  nervous or that's why I'm afraid because [TS]

  I feel like showing up at these events [TS]

  wanting to be a player is like showing [TS]

  up in a hobo camp fire and San hey what [TS]

  about us hobos right right guys but just [TS]

  a bunch of hobos here like you're not a [TS]

  player if you were a player you would [TS]

  not be you would be showing up here [TS]

  looking to be a player you know they'd [TS]

  be coming to you but you know he added a [TS]

  this is just thinking about this i think [TS]

  most politicians want to win over every [TS]

  person that they meet maybe compulsively [TS]

  great not to make friends but because [TS]

  it's what they do for a living in the [TS]

  same way that somebody who is a an [TS]

  evangelist for something they believe in [TS]

  whether that's apple or I'll ron Hubbard [TS]

  wants to constantly introduce people or [TS]

  Iran was constantly introduce people to [TS]

  that they really believe it's going to [TS]

  make things better and it's going to get [TS]

  more people on their site but that's [TS]

  that's condition of life for a [TS]

  politician is that they need to minimize [TS]

  the number of people who get onto the [TS]

  other guys side [TS]

  yep and there's no jeans and the whole [TS]

  boat that thing is you never know when [TS]

  you're gonna need that hobo it sure [TS]

  would help to have like I'm or in your [TS]

  camp in somebody else's never tell you [TS]

  the time i was sitting at a time sitting [TS]

  at a table with my dad and his friend [TS]

  judge deck Jack Tanner and his his [TS]

  friend me because is his best friend of [TS]

  his characters for nemesis [TS]

  and in the room walk san francisco mayor [TS]

  willie brown and this is a dinner party [TS]

  it's a dinner to celebrate the life and [TS]

  career of Jack Tanner and Willie Brown [TS]

  the Willie Brown is at the time that the [TS]

  mayor of San Francisco and he has flown [TS]

  up to this dinner to pay his respects to [TS]

  to the judge and he you know he swooshes [TS]

  into the room and he is is $1,500 [TS]

  loafers aren't even across the threshold [TS]

  of the carpet before he is shaking [TS]

  people's hands and kissing people on the [TS]

  missing women on the cheek and slapping [TS]

  people on the back and he makes his way [TS]

  across this room which is full of [TS]

  federal judges and like senators and [TS]

  government and big business people you [TS]

  know and he's walking across the room [TS]

  and he touches every single person in [TS]

  the room making his way across the room [TS]

  to say hello to the judge and you know [TS]

  this is another one of these moments [TS]

  where I'm just a GOG like wow really [TS]

  exudes charisma look at him he's you can [TS]

  tell you feel it when I've been in a [TS]

  room and Willie Brown walks in and you [TS]

  can feel it [TS]

  oh he's beautiful and I'm and my dad is [TS]

  like whoohoo holy should my dad's been [TS]

  watching politician know my dad worked [TS]

  for Kennedy rights over dad's just like [TS]

  wow and Tanner with up like a smirk on [TS]

  his face he goes yeah I look pretty good [TS]

  too and seven thousand dollar suit and [TS]

  my dad and I both look over and he's [TS]

  just furious furious when Brown how [TS]

  Willie Brown l is working his room [TS]

  okay and but also like he's here to pc [TS]

  like he's tanner is furious but also [TS]

  proud because he's here he's here for [TS]

  him a celebrity [TS]

  yeah and but he touches every single be [TS]

  touchy touches 200 people in this room [TS]

  walking across it because everybody [TS]

  wants to enterprise leaning forward just [TS]

  put their hands on [TS]

  and what would that you know what would [TS]

  that be like to live like that all the [TS]

  time and never be able to put your [TS]

  sunglasses down and never put a hoodie [TS]

  up and and run from the from the [TS]

  backstage door to the limo like he's he [TS]

  wants he and this he's not even in [TS]

  California [TS]

  well the browns and he's in seattle or [TS]

  to Coba not even Seattle he's in tacoma [TS]

  doing this and it's just like his he [TS]

  he's going to shake he's going to shake [TS]

  hands all the way to the door of the [TS]

  White House you know it's astonishing [TS]

  it's astonishing to see it and then to [TS]

  search your own like this is what I [TS]

  guess I'm doing I've always seen that [TS]

  and said yeah that could be me that's me [TS]

  i'm just not doing that right now [TS]

  because I'm because i'm too cool because [TS]

  I just you know like I'm really really [TS]

  into Radiohead right now but I could be [TS]

  the mayor of San Francisco and what I'm [TS]

  experiencing now is my my thrift store [TS]

  loafers are over the threshold of the [TS]

  carpet and I'm standing there like and [TS]

  saying to myself to I really want to go [TS]

  in this room with these people is this i [TS]

  mean is this the next thing for me to or [TS]

  do I go to the library right now and and [TS]

  brush the and brush the crumbs off of my [TS]

  wide well quarter roads and just just [TS]

  sink into my easy chair make the [TS]

  occasional cheese dip you know like yeah [TS]

  have some people over [TS]

  watch where you're basically using the [TS]

  Willie Brown Ignatius Riley that's right [TS]

  thank you and your loafers are on the [TS]

  precipice I'm right up the middle [TS]

  because my thrift store loafers are [TS]

  actually very expensive loopers than i [TS]

  thought but it's a very good deal they [TS]

  have a patina already em up but but I'm [TS]

  but i am a i'm a forty-five-year-old [TS]

  amateur in a in a in an arena where [TS]

  people have been have been sharpening [TS]

  their swords and battling with each [TS]

  other real battles all the all the years [TS]

  that I was like a [TS]

  signing t-shirts but they parted the [TS]

  prospect of becoming a little willie [TS]

  brown is is appealing to you if you can [TS]

  pull it off [TS]

  I'm hearing that correctly well it is [TS]

  because because when i think when i when [TS]

  i get when i get back out of the ego [TS]

  realm and the vanity realm and I think [TS]

  about what do I why am I here on earth [TS]

  but when I think about why are human [TS]

  beings here on earth [TS]

  all I come to is like science space [TS]

  travel figure stuff out send out probes [TS]

  go to other planets like make big [TS]

  signals sweep the sky [TS]

  you know it's it's that and a [TS]

  combination of like and do the best we [TS]

  can to to colonize the earth in a way [TS]

  that that is aesthetic and sustainable [TS]

  and i don't mean sustainable it with all [TS]

  the booths all the hippie baggage but [TS]

  like duh sustainable right like don't [TS]

  drown in your own shit I so colonize the [TS]

  planet and make it a make it of you know [TS]

  supertrain it guy Obama to make it as [TS]

  perfect a thing as you can make it as [TS]

  perfect a base as you can and then probe [TS]

  the universe and when i when i get out [TS]

  of my ego world [TS]

  personally I say what am I here to do if [TS]

  not to do that here to make my corner of [TS]

  this all better and how to do that how [TS]

  to do that without having hundreds of [TS]

  millions of dollars of resources how to [TS]

  do that with the with your primary [TS]

  resources being your personality your [TS]

  intellect and your industry like [TS]

  government is certain [TS]

  the one of a handful of viable ways to [TS]

  make it to make a profound difference [TS]

  and so I'm drawn to it [TS]

  I'm drawn to it the the power aspect of [TS]

  it is my weakness but it's also power [TS]

  that I that I would hope to use tu to [TS]

  gaya bomb this this little you know the [TS]

  the little corner of it that I could [TS]

  affect it is that it is the altruistic [TS]

  the core of what I think life is why I [TS]

  think life has value of my life [TS]

  so how to do it without having the ring [TS]

  destroy yeah and it's anyone watching it [TS]

  watching it destroy people that I [TS]

  recognize are even stronger than I am [TS]

  that's gonna be tough it is going to put [TS]

  that racket does it is what it does and [TS]

  yet you can look at people and say wow [TS]

  that person really made a difference [TS]

  there wouldn't be there wouldn't be [TS]

  I mean there are so many things that [TS]

  were that were the product of someone's [TS]

  imagination and someone's industry and [TS]

  and dealing you know the dealing and the [TS]

  someone needs to stride ahead and say [TS]

  follow me and to whatever degree to [TS]

  whatever degree r.r our contemporary [TS]

  idea of what democracy looks like is [TS]

  suspicious of the person that says [TS]

  follow me [TS]

  I believe in that model you know I [TS]

  believe that there are people that I [TS]

  mean I follow people all the time and I [TS]

  think everybody wants to [TS]

  and I'd like to you know I was thinking [TS]

  the other day about this about what it [TS]

  would take it is not without it is not [TS]

  outside of my capabilities to put [TS]

  together a team of people who develop a [TS]

  prototype of a refrigerator-sized [TS]

  appliance that sits next to your [TS]

  refrigerator in in everyone's home and [TS]

  it is like a home super train and you [TS]

  just you feed your you feed your garbage [TS]

  into this box and it produces you know [TS]

  it refines it in your home and then you [TS]

  have all different vertical that John [TS]

  thats you got to really be wheeling and [TS]

  dealing you're dealing with the [TS]

  utilities you got the mineral rights [TS]

  people you certainly got that recycling [TS]

  racket you gotta deal with I mean that's [TS]

  a lot if if you put that in front of the [TS]

  Train that's gonna be you got to talk [TS]

  about politics my friend absolutely one [TS]

  waiting so I'm watching it happen now [TS]

  with the uber car service here in [TS]

  Seattle together I scared everybody [TS]

  scared and and the taxi and limo [TS]

  commissions of every major city in the [TS]

  United States of America there are very [TS]

  powerful lobby talk about being in the [TS]

  olive oil business [TS]

  those are some tough guys and they've [TS]

  been paying some user easiest axes [TS]

  insurance insurance and insurance and [TS]

  crazy and all those little medallions [TS]

  that they have to staple on the battle [TS]

  system like it's 102 thousand bucks to [TS]

  get him down and it's like a liquor [TS]

  license lottery [TS]

  yeah and now over comes along they're [TS]

  like hey we've got a good idea what [TS]

  about it for everybody just did this [TS]

  from their smartphone cannot even matter [TS]

  Kelly ever got a way to get the pink [TS]

  mustache cars there [TS]

  yeah what the hell are those it's a [TS]

  ride-sharing oh my god i hate those [TS]

  stadium to its it yeah it's like Mary [TS]

  Kay cars or something [TS]

  it's a bit if I was I would not join [TS]

  that service person because of those but [TS]

  those little had a beard now [TS]

  nope do not do did you not fake facial [TS]

  hair on your car [TS]

  yeah I mean there's already are a little [TS]

  bit like we already kind of give them [TS]

  too much too much humanity [TS]

  do not start dressing them like their [TS]

  little dogs but do you guys have got car [TS]

  to goes I don't know we definitely [TS]

  Boober we've got the others share to go [TS]

  system which is like some company bought [TS]

  10,000 of those little smart cars [TS]

  painted them blue and white and park [TS]

  them all over the city i'll look at that [TS]

  bike situation [TS]

  yeah and if you if you join this a [TS]

  car2go system you're just walking along [TS]

  you're like I think I want to drive a [TS]

  cost so it's even more informal than zip [TS]

  yeah you go on your phone you're like [TS]

  well there's one around the corner you [TS]

  go over you get in it and you drive it [TS]

  somewhere and get out and you leave it [TS]

  and it's so it's so interesting almost [TS]

  revolutionary ideas whether it's [TS]

  shooting people in tubes or having [TS]

  moving sidewalks are based on this idea [TS]

  that you have to change the [TS]

  infrastructure is interesting that the [TS]

  most disruptive technologies are how to [TS]

  game the legal system really were you [TS]

  know me nor that licensing system [TS]

  however you want to think of it as [TS]

  opposed to changing the infrastructure [TS]

  that you're right on yeah right i mean [TS]

  nobody nobody is saying like let's bless [TS]

  build a maglev cars they're just like [TS]

  you can drive this car whenever you want [TS]

  to just leave it and probably there and [TS]

  this is the great thing about it's like [TS]

  probably there will be another one when [TS]

  you want to get in a car later be great [TS]

  for robbing banks would be amazing why [TS]

  Jason and i were thinking one of these [TS]

  days we should just get like 80 people [TS]

  and we should all just drive all the car [TS]

  to goes out to the very edge of the [TS]

  county and like have a have a [TS]

  15-passenger van drives us all back in [TS]

  it down and then does it again it does [TS]

  does it three or four times until [TS]

  there's like a hundred and fifty of [TS]

  these cars are parked at of on a farm [TS]

  somewhere to be disturbing that would be [TS]

  hilarious but come on you're going to [TS]

  you if you're going to get 80 people [TS]

  together on a project wife is a [TS]

  politician can be fucking her to conquer [TS]

  but i watch the Super situation i'm like [TS]

  right I see the taxi and limo people and [TS]

  the city government struggling to to [TS]

  figure out I mean and and and being [TS]

  violently opposed to this new this [TS]

  interloper [TS]

  but on the other hand i watch my friends [TS]

  use [TS]

  burr and it's like it's a genius a [TS]

  evolution of the concept and every taxi [TS]

  in the country should be some inaudible [TS]

  bye-bye cell phone that's the obvious [TS]

  answer is to get I mean like at least [TS]

  where i live the I call uber and pay [TS]

  twice as much because it'll come it'll [TS]

  show up and with taxis the calling for [TS]

  taxi around here doesn't mean a lot [TS]

  because if they get this bit essential [TS]

  dispatch place they have no skin in the [TS]

  game [TS]

  don't actually show up and whoever gets [TS]

  called out if they find a fair along the [TS]

  way its way cheaper and more efficient [TS]

  for them just grab that fair to drag [TS]

  your ass out to my neighborhood [TS]

  yeah it's like calling for a taxi out [TS]

  your window yeah yeah but you know if [TS]

  you if they would just get their shit [TS]

  together with you know having an actual [TS]

  taxes i would use taxis more I don't [TS]

  like paying for a taxi but i really hate [TS]

  paying for a taxi an hour and a half [TS]

  after it was supposed to be there [TS]

  yeah that's that that's the difference [TS]

  disruptive right now I'm so I've been [TS]

  looking for a car for like I don't know [TS]

  eight years said it and here's here at [TS]

  perpetual class 4a card I am [TS]

  here's what I have open in tabs across [TS]

  the top of my computer [TS]

  I've in 1987 four-wheel-drive GMC rally [TS]

  one ton van 6700 dollars in room it's a [TS]

  four-wheel-drive van i have as 1967 [TS]

  chevy suburban price unlisted my guy you [TS]

  the guy has an Alaska phone number as [TS]

  close it and his name is shane i have a [TS]

  1966 more picture exactly [TS]

  I've in 1965 plymouth fury 34 door and [TS]

  this is one of this one where he spells [TS]

  are the word original Oregon ille or [TS]

  organ any enemy al organi l [TS]

  all i know is its all or oregon the AL [TS]

  won't be disappointed won't last long [TS]

  lean toward well I'm not done yet 1965 [TS]

  Corvair four-door isn't that unsafe at [TS]

  any speed [TS]

  that's right but but it appeals to me [TS]

  this one is this one is like 48 years [TS]

  old or something I mean I I feel like I [TS]

  I feel like it survived this long a [TS]

  Volvo 1967 volvo amazon wagon on 22's [TS]

  and a nineteen eighty cadillac brougham [TS]

  red with a white vinyl top and white [TS]

  leather interior [TS]

  those are the cars that I'm that today i [TS]

  am considering and honestly [TS]

  oh wait there's one more 1967 1967 [TS]

  cadillac fleetwood 60 special 5500 [TS]

  dollars 5500 now what which of these [TS]

  cars which of these cars should I should [TS]

  I zero in on [TS]

  oh and the the four-wheel-drive van is [TS]

  pretty sweet all the silly they're gonna [TS]

  be pretty terrible with gas [TS]

  well yeah okay as long as you're okay [TS]

  with that but that didn't happen to be [TS]

  burning gas i'm going to be putting gas [TS]

  in these things with a pale the the [TS]

  turbo creepiness of a giant white van [TS]

  this is kind of appealing [TS]

  yeah we'll drive that be handy [TS]

  four-wheel drive and that's the [TS]

  absolutely one of the coolest zombie [TS]

  apocalypse cars I've ever seen like it [TS]

  has a it has like up like a welded steel [TS]

  roof rack it's a real i mean you can put [TS]

  50 caliber machine gun on top of it no [TS]

  problem but but then that 65 plymouth is [TS]

  like the kind of car that that if if if [TS]

  there was an an impact on the outskirts [TS]

  of town and and people had been people [TS]

  were kind of gathering around it and [TS]

  there were a couple of National [TS]

  Guardsmen there and there was like a [TS]

  half-buried glowing meat-eor and then a [TS]

  little door open on the top right about [TS]

  that moment [TS]

  four guys in black suits driving the 65 [TS]

  plymouth would drive up all wearing [TS]

  sunglasses and then uh no one there [TS]

  would remember anything having happened [TS]

  ok got it talk to some of your rich [TS]

  political buddies you get a little bit [TS]

  of funding you buy them all by mall and [TS]

  you're gonna have a cool car service [TS]

  where you can have a cool car and pick [TS]

  it up around town haha put a pink [TS]

  mustache on it's like cool car kumar [TS]

  remya Hillerman stretch the pink Hitler [TS]

  mustache [TS]

  I'll haha the taxi you can finally hi [TS]