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Roderick on the Line

Ep. 88: "Grotesquerie Ray"

 

00:00:00   founded my dad [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/0">TS</a>]

00:00:06   [Music] [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/6">TS</a>]

00:00:12   hello Daejeon hi Merlin is going good my [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/12">TS</a>]

00:00:18   feet are cold [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/18">TS</a>]

00:00:19   oh yeah I i am i am wearing a sweater [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/19">TS</a>]

00:00:24   but i forgot to put slippers on slipper [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/24">TS</a>]

00:00:28   Chris yeah I have slippers [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/28">TS</a>]

00:00:29   ok I gotta slippers you got I don't live [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/29">TS</a>]

00:00:32   in California I i have slippers don't [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/32">TS</a>]

00:00:34   talk that way to me in my house you know [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/34">TS</a>]

00:00:36   drafting my house is my house has my [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/36">TS</a>]

00:00:39   house has the original furnace from 1922 [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/39">TS</a>]

00:00:41   and which means there is a chimney blast [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/41">TS</a>]

00:00:45   coming straight up the middle through [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/45">TS</a>]

00:00:46   one of its other words chim-chim blast [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/46">TS</a>]

00:00:50   the battle part of heat of theirs i have [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/50">TS</a>]

00:00:57   i have a couple of pairs and nothing [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/57">TS</a>]

00:00:58   comes out of the other ones nothing [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/58">TS</a>]

00:01:00   yeah well you live in California right [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/60">TS</a>]

00:01:03   it's like our socks like a gentleman [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/63">TS</a>]

00:01:05   like 800 degrees every day [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/65">TS</a>]

00:01:07   oh you can be California was sunny all [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/67">TS</a>]

00:01:09   the time we go swimming and I know my [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/69">TS</a>]

00:01:12   dad used to say that we have cold this [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/72">TS</a>]

00:01:15   winter I ever spent was a summer example [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/75">TS</a>]

00:01:17   this car is over [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/77">TS</a>]

00:01:19   uh-huh i have three pairs of slippers [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/79">TS</a>]

00:01:23   wow why would that surprise me i have an [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/83">TS</a>]

00:01:27   old pair of like elk skin slippers from [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/87">TS</a>]

00:01:32   from the old days from Alaska then I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/92">TS</a>]

00:01:36   have a more modern pair of slippers [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/96">TS</a>]

00:01:38   slippers cy5 put some more modern you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/98">TS</a>]

00:01:42   have a new the the sort of a wishbone [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/102">TS</a>]

00:01:44   suspension and then so i guess you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/104">TS</a>]

00:01:46   better torsion control [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/106">TS</a>]

00:01:48   that's right exactly exactly better [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/108">TS</a>]

00:01:49   cornering and then I have a pair of [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/109">TS</a>]

00:01:51   slippers that were given to me as a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/111">TS</a>]

00:01:53   christmas present it's a classic [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/113">TS</a>]

00:01:55   christmas present gift for a man it's a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/115">TS</a>]

00:01:57   fallback in ya get a slipper and I have [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/117">TS</a>]

00:01:59   a pair of slippers that are the bug [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/119">TS</a>]

00:02:01   brand roof [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/121">TS</a>]

00:02:04   but they don't look like the boots [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/124">TS</a>]

00:02:06   they're just normal slippers but doesn't [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/126">TS</a>]

00:02:08   make you look like a twenty-year-old go [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/128">TS</a>]

00:02:10   and get that yeah you don't look like a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/130">TS</a>]

00:02:12   20 year old girl that doesn't know how [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/132">TS</a>]

00:02:14   to address you look like a normal guy [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/134">TS</a>]

00:02:16   but in slippers that are from Australia [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/136">TS</a>]

00:02:18   is the tired all the time so I put them [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/138">TS</a>]

00:02:21   on when I'm walking around my my my old [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/141">TS</a>]

00:02:23   house in the winter but i forgot today [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/143">TS</a>]

00:02:24   so right now i have a I I just wrapped a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/144">TS</a>]

00:02:27   jacket around haha ah pretty soon that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/147">TS</a>]

00:02:33   voice that Dad voice is not going to be [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/153">TS</a>]

00:02:35   affected [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/155">TS</a>]

00:02:36   no it's gonna be I'm I've here myself [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/156">TS</a>]

00:02:38   transitioning to it all more and more [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/158">TS</a>]

00:02:39   all the time it's just like one where [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/159">TS</a>]

00:02:42   the hell are my slippers understand- [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/162">TS</a>]

00:02:45   three pairs of slippers like it happens [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/165">TS</a>]

00:02:47   to me all the time I started buying [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/167">TS</a>]

00:02:50   multiples of my staple articles of [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/170">TS</a>]

00:02:52   clothing and i still can't find them i [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/172">TS</a>]

00:02:55   have six different carhartt caps and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/175">TS</a>]

00:02:58   it's unusual that i can find one of them [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/178">TS</a>]

00:02:59   i just keep losing them or miss laying [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/179">TS</a>]

00:03:02   them your carhartt cap is such an icon [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/182">TS</a>]

00:03:05   it's like the Swiss Army knife of [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/185">TS</a>]

00:03:06   headgear yeah it keeps you warm you know [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/186">TS</a>]

00:03:09   a lot of the heat escapes you know [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/189">TS</a>]

00:03:11   through the head to the head yeah yeah [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/191">TS</a>]

00:03:13   and you can take a nap in it you can you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/193">TS</a>]

00:03:16   can curl all the way up inside it [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/196">TS</a>]

00:03:18   yeah you can go into a little ball and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/198">TS</a>]

00:03:19   rock just good [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/199">TS</a>]

00:03:21   there's a ladder in there and you just [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/201">TS</a>]

00:03:23   keep climbing up into your hat [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/203">TS</a>]

00:03:25   you know I i was just in New York and I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/205">TS</a>]

00:03:28   took the plunge [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/208">TS</a>]

00:03:30   i don't i'm not even sure I'm going to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/210">TS</a>]

00:03:32   tell you about this because you're gonna [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/212">TS</a>]

00:03:34   lie i'm not sure what your reaction is [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/214">TS</a>]

00:03:36   going to be like to think I'm supportive [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/216">TS</a>]

00:03:38   alright well I took the plunge and i [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/218">TS</a>]

00:03:40   bought some skinny jeans [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/220">TS</a>]

00:03:42   oh wow oh yeah you're struggling if I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/222">TS</a>]

00:03:46   hadn't if I hadn't prefaced that you you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/226">TS</a>]

00:03:49   might have had a different reaction than [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/229">TS</a>]

00:03:50   25 years ago wasn't worried [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/230">TS</a>]

00:03:52   well that's true that's true but now you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/232">TS</a>]

00:03:55   know you're in a transitional period [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/235">TS</a>]

00:03:57   you're having a sexy little Jackson know [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/237">TS</a>]

00:03:58   you kidding me I'll come on be serious i [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/238">TS</a>]

00:04:01   said around all weekend just being [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/241">TS</a>]

00:04:02   envious [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/242">TS</a>]

00:04:03   haha just envious I've been envious of [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/243">TS</a>]

00:04:05   you all my friends like for a week not [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/245">TS</a>]

00:04:07   publicly no no but privately envious you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/247">TS</a>]

00:04:10   guys are you guys are very are sitting [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/250">TS</a>]

00:04:11   around talking about dicks in New York [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/251">TS</a>]

00:04:13   and I'm I'm sitting there watching [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/253">TS</a>]

00:04:14   chinese [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/254">TS</a>]

00:04:14   these depressing so anyway season there [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/254">TS</a>]

00:04:18   you were that you were the missing [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/258">TS</a>]

00:04:19   element [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/259">TS</a>]

00:04:19   haha yeah this is shining comfort [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/259">TS</a>]

00:04:23   no Sean was on point my god he was [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/263">TS</a>]

00:04:25   hilarious and because it's gotten so [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/265">TS</a>]

00:04:27   handsome John giant lovefest oh gosh can [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/267">TS</a>]

00:04:30   we talk about we circle back to that I'd [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/270">TS</a>]

00:04:31   like to hear more about that but it [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/271">TS</a>]

00:04:33   wasn't exactly skinny or they physically [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/273">TS</a>]

00:04:35   skinny they're both right so I'm so [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/275">TS</a>]

00:04:38   here's what happened a year ago Jonathan [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/278">TS</a>]

00:04:40   Coulton and I were playin that christmas [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/280">TS</a>]

00:04:42   show down at the city winery in the in [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/282">TS</a>]

00:04:45   the lower lower part of Manhattan that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/285">TS</a>]

00:04:47   the meatpacking Soho's or wherever the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/287">TS</a>]

00:04:52   hell and I jumped up on stage during the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/292">TS</a>]

00:04:54   soundcheck in a kind of Cavalier Way [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/294">TS</a>]

00:04:56   like yeah I'm a 40-something guy but I'm [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/296">TS</a>]

00:04:59   gonna just I'm not going to take the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/299">TS</a>]

00:05:01   stairs i'm going to jump up on the stage [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/301">TS</a>]

00:05:03   and a and the crush of my pants ripped [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/303">TS</a>]

00:05:07   out and it was during the soundcheck and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/307">TS</a>]

00:05:11   I'm like this is you know this is what [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/311">TS</a>]

00:05:13   it's come to I'm 30-something guy and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/313">TS</a>]

00:05:16   I'm lucky I didn't throw my back out [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/316">TS</a>]

00:05:19   when I jumped up on the stage but i did [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/319">TS</a>]

00:05:21   totally destroyed my kids start to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/321">TS</a>]

00:05:24   really do just enough cognition to know [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/324">TS</a>]

00:05:26   something is going wrong and you make [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/326">TS</a>]

00:05:28   that the category error trying to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/328">TS</a>]

00:05:29   compensate midland well and I don't know [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/329">TS</a>]

00:05:32   when I felt and heard the ripping I was [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/332">TS</a>]

00:05:35   like hernia [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/335">TS</a>]

00:05:36   what did I just rip my groin no thank [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/336">TS</a>]

00:05:40   goodness it was just these old khakis [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/340">TS</a>]

00:05:42   so I said to everybody at the show I was [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/342">TS</a>]

00:05:45   like listen I'm not going to play the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/345">TS</a>]

00:05:46   show with my pants ripped i'm going to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/346">TS</a>]

00:05:48   go out this is like Manhattan this is a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/348">TS</a>]

00:05:50   prime shopping district here the west [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/350">TS</a>]

00:05:53   village I'm going to run over i'm going [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/353">TS</a>]

00:05:56   to get a pair of pants so I run out of [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/356">TS</a>]

00:05:57   the venue and I'm going shop to shop [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/357">TS</a>]

00:06:00   through this sort of west village [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/360">TS</a>]

00:06:03   shopping area and every pair of pants is [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/363">TS</a>]

00:06:05   five hundred dollars [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/365">TS</a>]

00:06:06   like I run into a Ralph Lorenz store but [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/366">TS</a>]

00:06:09   it's some kind of flagship Ralph Lorenz [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/369">TS</a>]

00:06:12   store where all the you know and the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/372">TS</a>]

00:06:15   other that the powerful not like any [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/375">TS</a>]

00:06:18   outlet store you're not gonna get like a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/378">TS</a>]

00:06:20   forty two dollar pair of pants no I was [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/380">TS</a>]

00:06:22   like what [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/382">TS</a>]

00:06:22   where's the sales where's the sale table [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/382">TS</a>]

00:06:24   and the you know the guy in the shawl [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/384">TS</a>]

00:06:26   collar sweater was just like just [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/386">TS</a>]

00:06:29   chewing me out the door like no thank [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/389">TS</a>]

00:06:31   you your patronage is not welcome now [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/391">TS</a>]

00:06:34   public restrooms so I'm wandering around [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/394">TS</a>]

00:06:36   down there and I'm like I gotta find a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/396">TS</a>]

00:06:38   pair of pants and I'm em in this strange [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/398">TS</a>]

00:06:40   world where I I've grown used to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/400">TS</a>]

00:06:42   anywhere in America being able to go 10 [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/402">TS</a>]

00:06:46   feet in any direction and find a ten [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/406">TS</a>]

00:06:47   dollar pair of pants made in china and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/407">TS</a>]

00:06:50   now now I'm in this world where all [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/410">TS</a>]

00:06:52   these pants were hand stitched by some [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/412">TS</a>]

00:06:54   Italian grandmother and I just need a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/414">TS</a>]

00:06:57   pair of pants it's not i I'm not kidding [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/417">TS</a>]

00:06:58   around and then somebody says to me [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/418">TS</a>]

00:07:02   have you been to uniqlo have you been to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/422">TS</a>]

00:07:05   uniqlo and i said i don't know i havent [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/425">TS</a>]

00:07:08   and they were like oh that that's your [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/428">TS</a>]

00:07:10   answer and so I run into this store [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/430">TS</a>]

00:07:13   uniqlo which is this giant sort of H&M [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/433">TS</a>]

00:07:15   style place but all the closer from [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/435">TS</a>]

00:07:19   Japan's County it's like target for [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/439">TS</a>]

00:07:20   hipsters super hip everybody in their [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/440">TS</a>]

00:07:23   super hip and I run around and there [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/443">TS</a>]

00:07:25   have been no pants bigger than a 32 [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/445">TS</a>]

00:07:27   waist but somewhere up in the very back [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/447">TS</a>]

00:07:29   of the store I find these paints and I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/449">TS</a>]

00:07:31   really turned out i really liked them I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/451">TS</a>]

00:07:33   found a pair that fit me it was in some [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/453">TS</a>]

00:07:35   dad on a dad shelf like it I like for [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/455">TS</a>]

00:07:40   the for the dad that I accidentally got [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/460">TS</a>]

00:07:41   dragged into the store there's this one [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/461">TS</a>]

00:07:44   shelf where his daughter you know what [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/464">TS</a>]

00:07:46   were the daughters get some stores have [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/466">TS</a>]

00:07:48   a session with toys [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/468">TS</a>]

00:07:49   the kids can't exactly come over try [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/469">TS</a>]

00:07:51   these like a hardware store with a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/471">TS</a>]

00:07:53   section of toys [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/473">TS</a>]

00:07:54   this is a hipster store with a one shelf [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/474">TS</a>]

00:07:57   for dads and and and like the largest [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/477">TS</a>]

00:08:00   size they carry is 36 so its place to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/480">TS</a>]

00:08:02   have to be kind of fit dad's even and I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/482">TS</a>]

00:08:05   like to think I'm fit that but you know [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/485">TS</a>]

00:08:07   give yourself credit you are also a tall [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/487">TS</a>]

00:08:09   man tall tall i'm told that all fit dad [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/489">TS</a>]

00:08:12   your fear of Falstaff and father [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/492">TS</a>]

00:08:15   yeah i'm not quite fit but tall bad [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/495">TS</a>]

00:08:16   let's see what do you like you're like [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/496">TS</a>]

00:08:17   you're like 62 63 [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/497">TS</a>]

00:08:20   x3 and at them at the most i have to say [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/500">TS</a>]

00:08:23   i was over 240 pounds edging to 250 [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/503">TS</a>]

00:08:28   pounds that's not that bad it's pretty [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/508">TS</a>]

00:08:30   bad because you know I was shuffling [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/510">TS</a>]

00:08:33   around like a golem think that uniqlo [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/513">TS</a>]

00:08:37   number through the streets of prague [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/517">TS</a>]

00:08:39   enacting vengeance and and that's not [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/519">TS</a>]

00:08:43   how I want to live with the next 40 [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/523">TS</a>]

00:08:45   years so anyway so i'm in manhattan [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/525">TS</a>]

00:08:46   again i'm walking around down and on the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/526">TS</a>]

00:08:48   lower east side i'm looking for Todd [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/528">TS</a>]

00:08:49   Barry's house can i I got lost and then [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/529">TS</a>]

00:08:52   I see the uniqlo and I remember I had a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/532">TS</a>]

00:08:54   great time in there so i went in again [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/534">TS</a>]

00:08:57   and I'm standing there I'm looking [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/537">TS</a>]

00:09:02   around and there's this big pile of like [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/542">TS</a>]

00:09:04   skinny jeans a thing that I have been [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/544">TS</a>]

00:09:07   opposed to it so i guess i could say [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/547">TS</a>]

00:09:10   it's been a punchline uniqlo skinny [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/550">TS</a>]

00:09:12   jeans have actually been a punchline for [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/552">TS</a>]

00:09:14   a year for you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/554">TS</a>]

00:09:15   that's right they've been a punchline [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/555">TS</a>]

00:09:16   and and particularly a punch line when [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/556">TS</a>]

00:09:19   an older dad would even fit dad goes [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/559">TS</a>]

00:09:23   into a store like this and thinks to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/563">TS</a>]

00:09:25   himself I'm going to get some of these [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/565">TS</a>]

00:09:26   skinny jeans you know what I'm a young [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/566">TS</a>]

00:09:28   guy and I did excited precisely that I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/568">TS</a>]

00:09:32   was like you know i'm a young healthy [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/572">TS</a>]

00:09:33   fit dad gonna get some of these skinny [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/573">TS</a>]

00:09:36   jeans and I got him and i love them and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/576">TS</a>]

00:09:42   I'm and I don't know what the I don't [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/582">TS</a>]

00:09:44   know what to make of it you know because [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/584">TS</a>]

00:09:45   i want you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/585">TS</a>]

00:09:45   we've talked about this before i'm [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/585">TS</a>]

00:09:47   always trying to gauge like em because [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/587">TS</a>]

00:09:50   i'm inside myself am I missing some [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/590">TS</a>]

00:09:53   crucial q that I have become that I've [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/593">TS</a>]

00:09:56   emerging into self-parody like em I am I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/596">TS</a>]

00:10:01   do not want to be the dad who dyes his [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/601">TS</a>]

00:10:03   hair orange out of spite like a tiny [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/603">TS</a>]

00:10:09   ponytail in the back [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/609">TS</a>]

00:10:10   yeah well I mean about that you know [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/610">TS</a>]

00:10:12   that the tiny ponytail we all know not [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/612">TS</a>]

00:10:14   to do but the butt like this the skinny [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/614">TS</a>]

00:10:17   jeans like you see guys you see older [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/617">TS</a>]

00:10:19   guys who are still wearing like really [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/619">TS</a>]

00:10:21   tailored clothes and you're like that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/621">TS</a>]

00:10:22   guy looks great but then you look over [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/622">TS</a>]

00:10:24   it at the guy over here that's like [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/624">TS</a>]

00:10:26   wearing a nirvana [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/626">TS</a>]

00:10:29   t-shirt and you know it has like a roach [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/629">TS</a>]

00:10:32   clip ear ring and you're like that guy [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/632">TS</a>]

00:10:33   doesn't look great right [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/633">TS</a>]

00:10:35   he's missing he's mr q he's missed some [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/635">TS</a>]

00:10:38   key missed a turn [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/638">TS</a>]

00:10:39   that's right so anyway so I walk out in [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/639">TS</a>]

00:10:42   the skinny jeans and I'm walking down [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/642">TS</a>]

00:10:43   the street about the developed bulb and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/643">TS</a>]

00:10:45   I'm feeling like I'm i am rocking these [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/645">TS</a>]

00:10:48   skinny jeans [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/648">TS</a>]

00:10:49   I'm legitimately rocking them and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/649">TS</a>]

00:10:52   they're comfortable and they're [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/652">TS</a>]

00:10:53   inexpensive so Marlon I feel like I'm on [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/653">TS</a>]

00:10:58   a I'm honored there's some there's some [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/658">TS</a>]

00:11:00   precipice MRI came back here to my house [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/660">TS</a>]

00:11:03   after my trip to new york and i'm [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/663">TS</a>]

00:11:05   looking at the clothes in my closet mom [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/665">TS</a>]

00:11:06   like none of these clothes are skinny [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/666">TS</a>]

00:11:08   enough for me anymore [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/668">TS</a>]

00:11:09   oh all these closer like they're all [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/669">TS</a>]

00:11:11   blousy I don't want I don't want blousy [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/671">TS</a>]

00:11:15   pants now that I'm one of the skinny [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/675">TS</a>]

00:11:16   jean generation I can't walk around his [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/676">TS</a>]

00:11:19   handwriting hitting that one pair of [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/679">TS</a>]

00:11:22   skinny jeans has made and then come [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/682">TS</a>]

00:11:24   easiest time away right it helps you get [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/684">TS</a>]

00:11:26   some time way that's the beauty of [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/686">TS</a>]

00:11:27   travel right come back and now you've [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/687">TS</a>]

00:11:29   got a little bit of perspective I got a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/689">TS</a>]

00:11:31   little bit of perspective and i realized [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/691">TS</a>]

00:11:33   that i have been buying kind of it's [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/693">TS</a>]

00:11:35   hard to buy oversized clothes when you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/695">TS</a>]

00:11:37   are already an oversized person is that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/697">TS</a>]

00:11:39   really true in most in most stores it [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/699">TS</a>]

00:11:42   used to be the largest possible size [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/702">TS</a>]

00:11:44   they had was the thing that I needed to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/704">TS</a>]

00:11:47   buy but now we're living in this triple [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/707">TS</a>]

00:11:50   extra-large world there are a lot of [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/710">TS</a>]

00:11:53   inflation in sizes incredible where you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/713">TS</a>]

00:11:55   go into a store i mean it used to be in [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/715">TS</a>]

00:11:57   the thrift stores like the XL section of [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/717">TS</a>]

00:12:00   any rack was like five or six items that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/720">TS</a>]

00:12:04   you know five or six freakish items at [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/724">TS</a>]

00:12:06   the end of the scale was actually being [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/726">TS</a>]

00:12:08   a half inch neck and any was recently is [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/728">TS</a>]

00:12:10   maybe 10 15 x 15 years ago and an XL [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/730">TS</a>]

00:12:13   even accounting for shrinkage over the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/733">TS</a>]

00:12:15   years and XL in a thrift store would be [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/735">TS</a>]

00:12:18   like a large medium yeah right it barely [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/738">TS</a>]

00:12:20   barely goes over your bellybutton [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/740">TS</a>]

00:12:22   yeah yeah you walk around looking like [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/742">TS</a>]

00:12:24   damien jurado all the time so but now [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/744">TS</a>]

00:12:27   there's quadruple extra larges and I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/747">TS</a>]

00:12:30   realized that I had I have a lot of like [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/750">TS</a>]

00:12:32   coats jackets like a like a sport coats [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/752">TS</a>]

00:12:36   that don't fit me and all their there i [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/756">TS</a>]

00:12:40   bought them about them they're too large [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/760">TS</a>]

00:12:43   and i was i was trying to do I was [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/763">TS</a>]

00:12:45   trying to make my size seem smaller by [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/765">TS</a>]

00:12:47   one had two big jacket it's not that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/767">TS</a>]

00:12:50   that's it that is an error people make [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/770">TS</a>]

00:12:52   yeah and so I look like a little boy who [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/772">TS</a>]

00:12:55   was who somebody hit with a grotesquerie [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/775">TS</a>]

00:12:58   ray over four minutes on this listing a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/778">TS</a>]

00:13:05   couple seconds exactly like hey there's [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/785">TS</a>]

00:13:07   a five-year-old boy and fitted with that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/787">TS</a>]

00:13:09   damn America but the radon you get the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/789">TS</a>]

00:13:13   fighter x and then he just like bro good [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/793">TS</a>]

00:13:16   his clothes get big can address the baby [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/796">TS</a>]

00:13:21   elephant in the room is it i feel like [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/801">TS</a>]

00:13:23   i've seen some photos of you I we have [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/803">TS</a>]

00:13:25   not addressed as directly as we try to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/805">TS</a>]

00:13:26   avoid talking about food and fatherhood [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/806">TS</a>]

00:13:28   would with generally failing all but I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/808">TS</a>]

00:13:31   know now so with your newfound food [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/811">TS</a>]

00:13:35   paradigm you your new technologies about [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/815">TS</a>]

00:13:38   food [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/818">TS</a>]

00:13:39   have you lost a little weight I've lost [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/819">TS</a>]

00:13:41   a little weight [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/821">TS</a>]

00:13:42   ok night night and i have i have more [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/822">TS</a>]

00:13:44   energy i'm i'm back to feeling youth [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/824">TS</a>]

00:13:46   full and but the John a year ago [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/826">TS</a>]

00:13:49   what would have would have been doubly [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/829">TS</a>]

00:13:51   sarcastic because those are jokey pants [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/831">TS</a>]

00:13:52   for for that you would never even be [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/832">TS</a>]

00:13:54   able to wear right yeah well the John of [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/834">TS</a>]

00:13:57   a year ago in skinny jeans would have [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/837">TS</a>]

00:13:59   looked like a like a blue ice cream cone [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/839">TS</a>]

00:14:02   and it ends up looking like a blue [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/842">TS</a>]

00:14:06   double scoop ice cream cone and and now [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/846">TS</a>]

00:14:09   like yes right exactly [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/849">TS</a>]

00:14:11   denim ice cream giant Christians but now [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/851">TS</a>]

00:14:16   I feel like yeah but even in and out of [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/856">TS</a>]

00:14:19   in and out of downtown crowds and I like [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/859">TS</a>]

00:14:24   to think that my legs are one of my best [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/864">TS</a>]

00:14:25   features [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/865">TS</a>]

00:14:27   you've got Stanton's and and so on my k [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/867">TS</a>]

00:14:30   i'm feeling I'm feeling good i wanna i [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/870">TS</a>]

00:14:32   want to have I want to have some clothes [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/872">TS</a>]

00:14:34   that fit me a little bit better and that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/874">TS</a>]

00:14:38   you know this is the funny thing about [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/878">TS</a>]

00:14:39   about like where I am now having having [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/879">TS</a>]

00:14:42   changed my eating enough that I feel [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/882">TS</a>]

00:14:44   better [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/884">TS</a>]

00:14:46   and I feel like I look better in my [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/886">TS</a>]

00:14:48   clothes fit better i'm now I'm now [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/888">TS</a>]

00:14:51   struggling against this this tendency [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/891">TS</a>]

00:14:53   this like this radical tendency to be [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/893">TS</a>]

00:15:01   dissatisfied with where I am now and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/901">TS</a>]

00:15:04   want and set a new goal for myself which [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/904">TS</a>]

00:15:06   is totally unrealistic and soul [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/906">TS</a>]

00:15:11   destroying you know like if if you had [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/911">TS</a>]

00:15:14   told me three months ago that I would [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/914">TS</a>]

00:15:15   look and feel like I do today I would [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/915">TS</a>]

00:15:18   have said that's the goal but having [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/918">TS</a>]

00:15:21   achieved that goal now now I have this [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/921">TS</a>]

00:15:24   like creeping body dysmorphia this is [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/924">TS</a>]

00:15:29   sort of addict behavior where I'm like [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/929">TS</a>]

00:15:31   well alright so I'll I've lost x plus [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/931">TS</a>]

00:15:33   some amount of weight and I feel much [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/933">TS</a>]

00:15:35   better now the goal is to become Jack [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/935">TS</a>]

00:15:38   LaLanne and to swim across San Francisco [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/938">TS</a>]

00:15:40   Bay towing five tugboats with my teeth [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/940">TS</a>]

00:15:43   what up you know like now my goal is to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/943">TS</a>]

00:15:46   become a like a total like freakish hard [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/946">TS</a>]

00:15:52   body exercise nut who talks to everybody [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/952">TS</a>]

00:15:55   about gluten intolerance on the on [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/955">TS</a>]

00:15:57   public transit and you know and Anna and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/957">TS</a>]

00:16:01   I catch myself doing it I'm like why are [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/961">TS</a>]

00:16:03   you doing this why are you sabotaging [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/963">TS</a>]

00:16:04   yourself by taking this good this good [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/964">TS</a>]

00:16:08   thing this is unequivocally good thing [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/968">TS</a>]

00:16:09   that you've done simple and good and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/969">TS</a>]

00:16:12   perverting it into into a mania which [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/972">TS</a>]

00:16:17   you which then you will fail and then [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/977">TS</a>]

00:16:20   like if I hiked I will snatch [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/980">TS</a>]

00:16:23   disappointment from the jaws of victory [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/983">TS</a>]

00:16:25   every time [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/985">TS</a>]

00:16:26   uh-huh so anyway I'm trying to talk [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/986">TS</a>]

00:16:28   myself out of that and just be content [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/988">TS</a>]

00:16:29   to be kind of a you know fit that what [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/989">TS</a>]

00:16:34   you're using your kind of getting out [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/994">TS</a>]

00:16:35   that there are two things here that are [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/995">TS</a>]

00:16:38   worth just separate on the one hand yes [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/998">TS</a>]

00:16:40   you have lost a little weight but let's [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1000">TS</a>]

00:16:43   just say it also you are feeling better [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1003">TS</a>]

00:16:44   you're feeling clearer like me right [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1004">TS</a>]

00:16:47   you're not feeling is I'm in the clear [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1007">TS</a>]

00:16:49   us foggy let's have gone clear you let's [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1009">TS</a>]

00:16:52   say that you have for the sake of [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1012">TS</a>]

00:16:53   argument on clear but it's also like a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1013">TS</a>]

00:16:59   little bit [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1019">TS</a>]

00:16:59   like I wouldn't not say that you were [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1019">TS</a>]

00:17:01   like calcified but like you have made [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1021">TS</a>]

00:17:03   your peace for better for worse like [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1023">TS</a>]

00:17:05   okay I'm John I don't wear skinny jeans [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1025">TS</a>]

00:17:06   and wire and I don't talk about food but [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1026">TS</a>]

00:17:09   you know I don't wear skinny jeans I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1029">TS</a>]

00:17:10   don't want to talk about food and I'm [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1030">TS</a>]

00:17:11   gonna have a heart attack when I'm 54 [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1031">TS</a>]

00:17:13   you know what Dad biology is destiny [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1033">TS</a>]

00:17:15   right but but but the thing is though [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1035">TS</a>]

00:17:18   now also then that's what the thing [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1038">TS</a>]

00:17:20   inside of all of that those two changes [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1040">TS</a>]

00:17:21   there's also just the fact that now you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1041">TS</a>]

00:17:22   know now that change is possible which [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1042">TS</a>]

00:17:24   is like a weirdly risky new proposition [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1044">TS</a>]

00:17:27   where is it used to be like think about [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1047">TS</a>]

00:17:29   what you've been talking about fighting [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1049">TS</a>]

00:17:30   all the time for years fighting becoming [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1050">TS</a>]

00:17:33   calcified about music and culture and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1053">TS</a>]

00:17:35   you know since to stop being progressive [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1055">TS</a>]

00:17:36   in thinking about ideas you don't want [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1056">TS</a>]

00:17:38   to become somebody who's just like stuck [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1058">TS</a>]

00:17:40   in their ways for lack of a better word [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1060">TS</a>]

00:17:41   but it's also a little bit getting scary [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1061">TS</a>]

00:17:43   maybe risky different because now [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1063">TS</a>]

00:17:45   there's this whole world of [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1065">TS</a>]

00:17:46   possibilities out there that unseat your [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1066">TS</a>]

00:17:48   idea of being a blue ice cream cone and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1068">TS</a>]

00:17:51   now you have taken this new information [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1071">TS</a>]

00:17:53   and you don't have security of just [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1073">TS</a>]

00:17:55   being a big lard-ass [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1075">TS</a>]

00:17:56   well that's precisely it and what I come [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1076">TS</a>]

00:17:58   up against immediately or or almost [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1078">TS</a>]

00:18:01   immediately after I began thinking about [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1081">TS</a>]

00:18:03   this work new world of possibility is [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1083">TS</a>]

00:18:08   that there is a hard wall at the end [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1088">TS</a>]

00:18:12   which is mortality and so so I start to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1092">TS</a>]

00:18:17   think like well then I'll just get it [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1097">TS</a>]

00:18:19   out get in the best shape of anybody and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1099">TS</a>]

00:18:21   i'll become immortal and I'll live [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1101">TS</a>]

00:18:24   forever and I'll never get sick and I'll [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1104">TS</a>]

00:18:26   never die and then then you go [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1106">TS</a>]

00:18:28   well no you're actually still 45 but the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1108">TS</a>]

00:18:32   clock is ticking and you are decaying [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1112">TS</a>]

00:18:34   right before your own eyes and doesn't [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1114">TS</a>]

00:18:35   look as cool as you think like you know [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1115">TS</a>]

00:18:37   you and I Jack LaLanne was pretty much [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1117">TS</a>]

00:18:39   always an old guy in our lifetime and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1119">TS</a>]

00:18:42   one every year on his birthday [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1122">TS</a>]

00:18:43   hey he do another like feet where you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1123">TS</a>]

00:18:46   know increasingly less like strictly [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1126">TS</a>]

00:18:48   amazing feats like I'm gonna I'm gonna [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1128">TS</a>]

00:18:50   pull this this locomotive with using [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1130">TS</a>]

00:18:52   only the teeth of my mouth and then next [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1132">TS</a>]

00:18:55   year is like pulling a toy train and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1135">TS</a>]

00:18:57   then you got that he's just able to hold [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1137">TS</a>]

00:18:59   on to the bit you know and yes so [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1139">TS</a>]

00:19:02   amazing feats but a lot of them involved [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1142">TS</a>]

00:19:04   his teeth [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1144">TS</a>]

00:19:05   this is just weird like that's how to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1145">TS</a>]

00:19:07   think you can make stronger real [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1147">TS</a>]

00:19:09   but also every was there ever a point in [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1149">TS</a>]

00:19:11   the like you know the 25 years that you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1151">TS</a>]

00:19:13   and I are aware of that was there ever a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1153">TS</a>]

00:19:14   point like god that guy sure is manly it [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1154">TS</a>]

00:19:16   was more like all well yeah actually got [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1156">TS</a>]

00:19:19   like all grandpa cool grandfather he's [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1159">TS</a>]

00:19:21   trying both because I think he was four [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1161">TS</a>]

00:19:23   foot eleven and also he was always [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1163">TS</a>]

00:19:26   wearing that leotard he was or that full [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1166">TS</a>]

00:19:29   body like high-waisted jumpsuits it was [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1169">TS</a>]

00:19:32   real creepy and shiny creepy shiny jump [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1172">TS</a>]

00:19:36   student and I never remember thinking [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1176">TS</a>]

00:19:38   like Jack LaLanne that there's a guy he [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1178">TS</a>]

00:19:40   kinda looks like george costanza's [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1180">TS</a>]

00:19:42   father who at a buddy's like pulling a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1182">TS</a>]

00:19:45   locomotive with his teeth none of that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1185">TS</a>]

00:19:47   is something I aspire to even as a child [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1187">TS</a>]

00:19:50   it's not like it's not like being like a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1190">TS</a>]

00:19:52   foxy seven-year-old limit [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1192">TS</a>]

00:19:54   it's like mostly you're a 70 year old [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1194">TS</a>]

00:19:55   woman nothing against but you know what [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1195">TS</a>]

00:19:56   i mean like when you watch a claim you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1196">TS</a>]

00:19:58   go while he's pretty strong for an old [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1198">TS</a>]

00:19:59   guy but mostly he's an old guy you don't [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1199">TS</a>]

00:20:01   in his mind he is clinging you know [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1201">TS</a>]

00:20:04   cling to youth and vitality and and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1204">TS</a>]

00:20:08   that's sprightliness that he's with so [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1208">TS</a>]

00:20:09   no well no known for but like we mostly [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1209">TS</a>]

00:20:12   just see somebody getting older and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1212">TS</a>]

00:20:13   older and fighting it [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1213">TS</a>]

00:20:14   have you noticed this about I mean I I'm [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1214">TS</a>]

00:20:17   feeling this way now watching Clint [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1217">TS</a>]

00:20:18   Eastwood age and and like Harrison Ford [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1218">TS</a>]

00:20:23   age and all those Hollywood stars that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1223">TS</a>]

00:20:28   were that were always much older than us [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1228">TS</a>]

00:20:31   but they were in the our whole lives [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1231">TS</a>]

00:20:35   they were kind of in their vital [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1235">TS</a>]

00:20:36   middle-aged they were and they ma [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1236">TS</a>]

00:20:39   persisted in it long past like when they [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1239">TS</a>]

00:20:43   were 60 years old they were still and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1243">TS</a>]

00:20:45   they're all still like Robert Redford [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1245">TS</a>]

00:20:47   that you know they were all still to use [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1247">TS</a>]

00:20:49   that phrase and 76 symbols there are [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1249">TS</a>]

00:20:51   still people we go Harrison Ford it's [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1251">TS</a>]

00:20:53   creepy that is in this movie went with [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1253">TS</a>]

00:20:54   Winona Ryder but he's definitely like a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1254">TS</a>]

00:20:56   handsome handsome yet jack nicholson I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1256">TS</a>]

00:20:58   mean these guys at 60 years old were [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1258">TS</a>]

00:21:00   paired with 24 year-old actresses and it [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1260">TS</a>]

00:21:03   wasn't a hundred percent cool but but it [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1263">TS</a>]

00:21:06   also like use we still we still were [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1266">TS</a>]

00:21:09   projecting a tremendous like a linear in [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1269">TS</a>]

00:21:12   ashton kutcher or something I wasn't [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1272">TS</a>]

00:21:13   something where you go that's kind of [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1273">TS</a>]

00:21:15   strange but now watching them they are [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1275">TS</a>]

00:21:18   like genuinely old people now [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1278">TS</a>]

00:21:21   and it is reflected a like it [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1281">TS</a>]

00:21:24   it reflects to me like watching watching [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1284">TS</a>]

00:21:27   Clint Eastwood cut daughter around like [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1287">TS</a>]

00:21:30   a like an end like a small end is making [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1290">TS</a>]

00:21:35   me making me sad like melancholy yeah I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1295">TS</a>]

00:21:41   just a trailer for the new captain [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1301">TS</a>]

00:21:42   america movie [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1302">TS</a>]

00:21:43   Robert reference in it and you know he's [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1303">TS</a>]

00:21:45   he's still a good-looking guy but he's [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1305">TS</a>]

00:21:47   definitely an old guy now here I didn't [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1307">TS</a>]

00:21:49   look at the Chippendale couch he and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1309">TS</a>]

00:21:55   like Harrison Ford was in that Jackie [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1315">TS</a>]

00:21:57   Robinson movie and I can kind of didn't [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1317">TS</a>]

00:22:00   recognize him at first really well i [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1320">TS</a>]

00:22:02   mean i think he's definitely taking that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1322">TS</a>]

00:22:03   turn around the old lesbian look busy [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1323">TS</a>]

00:22:06   no God no I just look at that website [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1326">TS</a>]

00:22:09   the other day [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1329">TS</a>]

00:22:10   oh my god what is it it's it's men who [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1330">TS</a>]

00:22:13   look like old lesbians is that the site [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1333">TS</a>]

00:22:16   oh my god I cannot see that pretty rude [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1336">TS</a>]

00:22:18   but but I'm taking off your point but it [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1338">TS</a>]

00:22:21   is there is definitely a certain point [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1341">TS</a>]

00:22:23   you get a Robert Evans boy you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1343">TS</a>]

00:22:24   definitely got this is a point that we [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1344">TS</a>]

00:22:26   look at people like wow you know that's [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1346">TS</a>]

00:22:28   ok here's an example like George Clooney [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1348">TS</a>]

00:22:29   George Clooney is still in extremely [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1349">TS</a>]

00:22:31   handsome middle-aged guy Harrison Ford [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1351">TS</a>]

00:22:34   was Harrison for 15 years older [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1354">TS</a>]

00:22:36   something like that maybe no I think [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1356">TS</a>]

00:22:37   he's in his seventies isn't it is that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1357">TS</a>]

00:22:39   right i heard say I clinics was getting [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1359">TS</a>]

00:22:42   divorced she mentioned being his agent [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1362">TS</a>]

00:22:43   divorced so sad [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1363">TS</a>]

00:22:45   that's a lot of work when I just said [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1365">TS</a>]

00:22:46   that when I just said I think he's in [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1366">TS</a>]

00:22:48   the seventies I made that likes crunchy [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1368">TS</a>]

00:22:50   scrunchy nose face this face [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1370">TS</a>]

00:22:52   I know but i'll be up like a UK person [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1372">TS</a>]

00:22:55   because it is 78 it's like kinda shows [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1375">TS</a>]

00:22:59   up in the air like quickly knows I don't [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1379">TS</a>]

00:23:01   know why I did it I never make this is [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1381">TS</a>]

00:23:03   what is that I know exactly what she [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1383">TS</a>]

00:23:04   does it mean when we do that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1384">TS</a>]

00:23:06   yeah it kinda gotta get your locker [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1386">TS</a>]

00:23:07   Roberts ice is actually good secretary [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1387">TS</a>]

00:23:10   it's like somebody handed you a kind of [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1390">TS</a>]

00:23:12   kickbox candy you don't like ya got [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1392">TS</a>]

00:23:15   cashews in it and then your nose goes up [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1395">TS</a>]

00:23:18   and your teeth come out [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1398">TS</a>]

00:23:19   yeah what about that one didn't know [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1399">TS</a>]

00:23:21   that I was what what why that inspired [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1401">TS</a>]

00:23:23   me to to suddenly turn into is something [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1403">TS</a>]

00:23:25   weird like copperfield it is you even as [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1405">TS</a>]

00:23:28   they turn into Chippendale furniture and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1408">TS</a>]

00:23:30   you know Robert rivers always had a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1410">TS</a>]

00:23:31   certain kind of ruggedness [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1411">TS</a>]

00:23:32   you know complexion wise but I but there [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1412">TS</a>]

00:23:36   is there is i don't know what happens [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1416">TS</a>]

00:23:38   even if you'd like don't get plastic [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1418">TS</a>]

00:23:39   surgery you do kind of start to look [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1419">TS</a>]

00:23:40   like a woman you estrogen eyes a little [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1420">TS</a>]

00:23:43   bit yeah well I you know the first time [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1423">TS</a>]

00:23:46   I really saw that in inaction was one of [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1426">TS</a>]

00:23:49   the first time I saw the psychedelic [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1429">TS</a>]

00:23:51   furs right he said either click [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1431">TS</a>]

00:23:54   somebody's grandmother it just looked [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1434">TS</a>]

00:23:56   like you look like a skinny little [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1436">TS</a>]

00:23:58   grandma and and I was so I'm so [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1438">TS</a>]

00:24:01   astonished at the at the gender bender [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1441">TS</a>]

00:24:05   eNOS of it because you know as a rock [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1445">TS</a>]

00:24:07   star [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1447">TS</a>]

00:24:08   you're always gender-bending but not [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1448">TS</a>]

00:24:11   quite all the way to like I'm your [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1451">TS</a>]

00:24:12   grandma you think its substance abuse [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1452">TS</a>]

00:24:14   because you didn't anymore start to get [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1454">TS</a>]

00:24:16   that Keith Moon as young as he was he [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1456">TS</a>]

00:24:18   started to get that little bit i bet [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1458">TS</a>]

00:24:20   it's I bet it's I bet it's riding hard [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1460">TS</a>]

00:24:22   on the body partly i'm still astonished [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1462">TS</a>]

00:24:25   at how young keith moon was when he died [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1465">TS</a>]

00:24:27   and i'm amazed to see I once again i did [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1467">TS</a>]

00:24:29   my my monthly viewing of a quick one [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1469">TS</a>]

00:24:31   while he's away from the rock and roll [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1471">TS</a>]

00:24:33   I want to look good i want you once a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1473">TS</a>]

00:24:35   month because it's the greatest rural [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1475">TS</a>]

00:24:36   parts of all time and really and you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1476">TS</a>]

00:24:38   watch it and but I mean even when you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1478">TS</a>]

00:24:39   look at something like you watch you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1479">TS</a>]

00:24:41   know watching with the giant headphones [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1481">TS</a>]

00:24:42   doing who are you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1482">TS</a>]

00:24:44   what's it like to and said he was like [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1484">TS</a>]

00:24:48   32 or most incredible right look 60 [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1488">TS</a>]

00:24:51   looks so I mean the he went it was funny [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1491">TS</a>]

00:24:53   that like even around starting around [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1493">TS</a>]

00:24:55   Tommy you know I don't know I think [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1495">TS</a>]

00:24:59   maybe I know I keep Richard same thing [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1499">TS</a>]

00:25:01   again [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1501">TS</a>]

00:25:01   suddenly they just look different like [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1501">TS</a>]

00:25:03   within a period like two years they look [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1503">TS</a>]

00:25:04   like completely different people [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1504">TS</a>]

00:25:06   yeah that's that's right but keep [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1506">TS</a>]

00:25:09   continue to be I think gorgeous all the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1509">TS</a>]

00:25:11   way through 82 I mean through that whole [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1511">TS</a>]

00:25:15   fifth that first initial period when he [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1515">TS</a>]

00:25:17   was with a better at one point like [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1517">TS</a>]

00:25:19   feathers in his hair and that was kinda [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1519">TS</a>]

00:25:21   cool but like there's a point even when [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1521">TS</a>]

00:25:22   they're like pretty popular where he [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1522">TS</a>]

00:25:24   look like an old witch [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1524">TS</a>]

00:25:25   yeah and then he started looking more [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1525">TS</a>]

00:25:27   like a pirate he flushed out a little [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1527">TS</a>]

00:25:29   bit yeah [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1529">TS</a>]

00:25:30   Anakin looks like yours and jager [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1530">TS</a>]

00:25:33   haha looks like a fucking slot such it [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1533">TS</a>]

00:25:37   looks like a chariot that somebody [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1537">TS</a>]

00:25:38   stepped out on a strike and yet maybe [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1538">TS</a>]

00:25:42   he'll live forever I mean maybe he is [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1542">TS</a>]

00:25:43   the one [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1543">TS</a>]

00:25:44   yeah you think a lot of that from [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1544">TS</a>]

00:25:45   smoking right there smoking give you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1545">TS</a>]

00:25:47   that kind of drawn look well and again [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1547">TS</a>]

00:25:49   it's another that said it's a factor of [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1549">TS</a>]

00:25:51   like it's a physiological factor of him [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1551">TS</a>]

00:25:55   being literally five-foot-two he is so [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1555">TS</a>]

00:25:59   small [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1559">TS</a>]

00:26:00   all those guys in the rolling stones are [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1560">TS</a>]

00:26:02   so small you know that you could put you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1562">TS</a>]

00:26:05   could put the entire rolling stones in a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1565">TS</a>]

00:26:06   pint glass and and then and then put [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1566">TS</a>]

00:26:10   probably half a can of whipped cream in [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1570">TS</a>]

00:26:14   into like half a spray canister whipped [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1574">TS</a>]

00:26:17   cream and it wouldn't overflow the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1577">TS</a>]

00:26:19   pointless for their that small so they [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1579">TS</a>]

00:26:23   were made you know I think the rolling [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1583">TS</a>]

00:26:26   stones were like bread to chase rats [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1586">TS</a>]

00:26:28   down holes or I mean they are different [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1588">TS</a>]

00:26:30   almost a different kind of human being [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1590">TS</a>]

00:26:33   from the lumbering like stone trolls [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1593">TS</a>]

00:26:37   that were mine ancestors you're so [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1597">TS</a>]

00:26:42   mythic I says here Keith Richards is 59 [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1602">TS</a>]

00:26:46   but I'll bony below me think something [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1606">TS</a>]

00:26:48   at least 59 in Prince boots [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1608">TS</a>]

00:26:51   oh boy Ron would look at that guy [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1611">TS</a>]

00:26:56   now he have you ever watched the videos [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1616">TS</a>]

00:26:58   the youtube videos of run would onstage [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1618">TS</a>]

00:27:02   like shit faced and now no I was in [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1622">TS</a>]

00:27:05   small faces stuff but I've never seen [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1625">TS</a>]

00:27:07   that now there's that there's some like [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1627">TS</a>]

00:27:09   footage of him in the nineties i think [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1629">TS</a>]

00:27:11   where he's on stage and he's just [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1631">TS</a>]

00:27:14   pilotto and you even though he's one of [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1634">TS</a>]

00:27:19   the richest and most successful [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1639">TS</a>]

00:27:20   musicians in the world you want to you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1640">TS</a>]

00:27:23   can't help but feel sorry for him [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1643">TS</a>]

00:27:24   because he is so dogged by his you know [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1644">TS</a>]

00:27:29   by the by the feeling that like he's he [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1649">TS</a>]

00:27:32   has to wake up and drink four bottles of [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1652">TS</a>]

00:27:34   cognac a day because he has never known [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1654">TS</a>]

00:27:37   anything different I mean I don't know [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1657">TS</a>]

00:27:39   where he's at right now but there are [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1659">TS</a>]

00:27:40   some videos on on the Internet of of Ron [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1660">TS</a>]

00:27:43   Wood stumbling around and like just [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1663">TS</a>]

00:27:46   I just don't find that as appealing as I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1666">TS</a>]

00:27:47   used to you know I can see how the like [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1667">TS</a>]

00:27:51   I don't know [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1671">TS</a>]

00:27:52   yeah i'm reading I know you're you're a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1672">TS</a>]

00:27:55   fan of these kinds of accounts to like [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1675">TS</a>]

00:27:56   reading about the making of what's wrong [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1676">TS</a>]

00:28:00   with rocks off the famous one of the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1680">TS</a>]

00:28:02   record of my stuff that's no no you know [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1682">TS</a>]

00:28:05   that one the one the one where like a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1685">TS</a>]

00:28:08   with a French police were like trying to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1688">TS</a>]

00:28:10   like they were like rating keeps house [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1690">TS</a>]

00:28:12   oh my god oh you're talking about you're [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1692">TS</a>]

00:28:14   mad but did a double record of the why [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1694">TS</a>]

00:28:18   did you do that you just you just do you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1698">TS</a>]

00:28:19   just tell you the record out of my mind [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1699">TS</a>]

00:28:22   it was your mean streets it's a tumbling [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1702">TS</a>]

00:28:26   dice its up so wow this is real Exile on [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1706">TS</a>]

00:28:30   Main Street yes on you pushed it you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1710">TS</a>]

00:28:34   actually push that turd back in my brain [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1714">TS</a>]

00:28:37   yeah i got the turtle back in the show I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1717">TS</a>]

00:28:39   had to like but we got two counts of [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1719">TS</a>]

00:28:42   like to them trying to make that record [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1722">TS</a>]

00:28:43   something for Charlie wat was always [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1723">TS</a>]

00:28:45   like a pretty like a normal english guy [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1725">TS</a>]

00:28:47   who drank tea and had a job playing [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1727">TS</a>]

00:28:49   drums you know it just hasn't just been [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1729">TS</a>]

00:28:51   miserable to be an environment like that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1731">TS</a>]

00:28:53   everybody's just all fucked up all the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1733">TS</a>]

00:28:55   time and how many did not make things [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1735">TS</a>]

00:28:57   good no heroin is a bad drug but Charlie [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1737">TS</a>]

00:29:00   I think rented a house like a hundred [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1740">TS</a>]

00:29:02   and fifty miles again in central France [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1742">TS</a>]

00:29:05   or something where he didn't speak any [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1745">TS</a>]

00:29:07   French and he complained the whole time [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1747">TS</a>]

00:29:08   that he couldn't get James T and yeah [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1748">TS</a>]

00:29:11   it's just the I just picture him like [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1751">TS</a>]

00:29:14   walking down to the corner store and and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1754">TS</a>]

00:29:17   saying the guy no Pimm's but it is there [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1757">TS</a>]

00:29:20   like record in the basement I mean it [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1760">TS</a>]

00:29:22   sounds like it's not like the whole [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1762">TS</a>]

00:29:23   thing was just such a debacle it's [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1763">TS</a>]

00:29:25   amazing the record turnout as well as it [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1765">TS</a>]

00:29:26   did but I just don't know when your [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1766">TS</a>]

00:29:28   account stuff like that when I was in [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1768">TS</a>]

00:29:29   you know even in college I go wow that's [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1769">TS</a>]

00:29:32   really cool it's you know to begin back [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1772">TS</a>]

00:29:34   to desis on tits a decadent like you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1774">TS</a>]

00:29:36   just you sit around and you know you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1776">TS</a>]

00:29:38   make rock music in any like don't know [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1778">TS</a>]

00:29:41   what day it is and man that is so [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1781">TS</a>]

00:29:43   ridiculously unappealing this time to me [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1783">TS</a>]

00:29:45   now i'm sure my wife feels ten times [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1785">TS</a>]

00:29:47   more but I think I'll boy will be nice [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1787">TS</a>]

00:29:48   to have a week to just go dick around [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1788">TS</a>]

00:29:50   and not have to be anywhere but [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1790">TS</a>]

00:29:51   man the idea of like sitting around [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1791">TS</a>]

00:29:53   basement in France doing heroin is like [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1793">TS</a>]

00:29:54   just not my idea of fun [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1794">TS</a>]

00:29:56   yeah well I i come up against this all [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1796">TS</a>]

00:29:59   the time because you know I haven't I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1799">TS</a>]

00:30:00   have not uh had like a substance like a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1800">TS</a>]

00:30:05   mind-altering substance I've not had any [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1805">TS</a>]

00:30:08   alcohol or drugs in almost 20 years but [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1808">TS</a>]

00:30:13   i have resolute lira fused to live in a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1813">TS</a>]

00:30:16   sober ghetto of life and so I spend [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1816">TS</a>]

00:30:20   almost all my time around people who are [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1820">TS</a>]

00:30:24   on drugs and some of my very good [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1824">TS</a>]

00:30:27   friends are on drugs like lit like like [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1827">TS</a>]

00:30:30   seriously like still on drugs not so [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1830">TS</a>]

00:30:34   sure you shitting me [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1834">TS</a>]

00:30:35   yeah not just like getting stoned [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1835">TS</a>]

00:30:36   sometime just talking about drinking a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1836">TS</a>]

00:30:38   lot and smoking weed i'm talking about [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1838">TS</a>]

00:30:39   drinking a lot and also taking drugs [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1839">TS</a>]

00:30:43   serious drugs hard drugs and being a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1843">TS</a>]

00:30:45   drug drug person and being in denial [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1845">TS</a>]

00:30:47   about what being a drug person means for [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1847">TS</a>]

00:30:51   them [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1851">TS</a>]

00:30:52   short-term and long-term I mean this is [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1852">TS</a>]

00:30:54   true of some very close friends of mine [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1854">TS</a>]

00:30:56   and also a lot of people that i know [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1856">TS</a>]

00:30:59   socially and and so i'm i'm always in [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1859">TS</a>]

00:31:03   the am [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1863">TS</a>]

00:31:04   oh I'm almost every day I am confronted [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1864">TS</a>]

00:31:07   with the question again like why are [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1867">TS</a>]

00:31:13   people taking drugs do you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1873">TS</a>]

00:31:16   John want to go back on drugs like every [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1876">TS</a>]

00:31:19   day I ask myself would you like to go [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1879">TS</a>]

00:31:22   back on drugs right now [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1882">TS</a>]

00:31:23   hey tried skinny jeans there are drugs [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1883">TS</a>]

00:31:25   all around you all the time would you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1885">TS</a>]

00:31:27   are you interested in taking some drugs [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1887">TS</a>]

00:31:29   and i took a lot of drugs so I don't [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1889">TS</a>]

00:31:33   have us [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1893">TS</a>]

00:31:34   I like when I quit drinking it was right [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1894">TS</a>]

00:31:37   before the single-malt Scotch revolution [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1897">TS</a>]

00:31:40   and the flavored alcohol the artisanal [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1900">TS</a>]

00:31:44   alcohol scene so there are a lot of [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1904">TS</a>]

00:31:47   alcohols that I missed out on you quit [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1907">TS</a>]

00:31:50   you quit around like Rolling Rock [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1910">TS</a>]

00:31:52   getting popular [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1912">TS</a>]

00:31:53   yeah right i started i stopped drinking [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1913">TS</a>]

00:31:55   alcohol in 1994 yeah and immediately [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1915">TS</a>]

00:32:00   afterward [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1920">TS</a>]

00:32:01   like you know wine snobbery was always a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1921">TS</a>]

00:32:03   thing but immediately it seems like [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1923">TS</a>]

00:32:05   immediately afterward in the late [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1925">TS</a>]

00:32:06   nineties it was all that whiskey talk [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1926">TS</a>]

00:32:10   and all the like oh you've got to try [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1930">TS</a>]

00:32:11   this it's from the barrel that is Sir [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1931">TS</a>]

00:32:14   Walter Reilly once piston on his way to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1934">TS</a>]

00:32:16   and it's like a haha well you know I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1936">TS</a>]

00:32:19   drank a lot of whiskey and maybe it [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1939">TS</a>]

00:32:21   wasn't great whiskey and a lot of times [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1941">TS</a>]

00:32:24   it was still worst whiskey was ten hi [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1944">TS</a>]

00:32:27   whiskey out of a gallon plastic jug but [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1947">TS</a>]

00:32:30   I don't you know like i did not have [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1950">TS</a>]

00:32:34   very much melancholy about not savoring [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1954">TS</a>]

00:32:36   the great whiskey's you know but as far [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1956">TS</a>]

00:32:39   as like pharmaceutical drugs go what to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1959">TS</a>]

00:32:44   whatever degree new technologies have [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1964">TS</a>]

00:32:46   produced in new ways of feeling like [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1966">TS</a>]

00:32:48   your hands are like two balloons [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1968">TS</a>]

00:32:52   um I like there's there's no new high [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1972">TS</a>]

00:32:56   that I feel like I missed out on except [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1976">TS</a>]

00:32:58   maybe bath salts or what's that other [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1978">TS</a>]

00:33:02   that that ship they smell sativa or you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1982">TS</a>]

00:33:06   smoked this stuff not sativa us i think [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1986">TS</a>]

00:33:10   something some new suitor pot herbal [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1990">TS</a>]

00:33:13   thing that you smoke and have like like [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1993">TS</a>]

00:33:16   two minute long pcp hallucination God [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/1996">TS</a>]

00:33:21   and and yeah it's really it's really big [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2001">TS</a>]

00:33:25   with it with a certain kind of william [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2005">TS</a>]

00:33:27   gibson adoring cyberpunk always having a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2007">TS</a>]

00:33:30   special dispenser that clicks or [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2010">TS</a>]

00:33:32   something [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2012">TS</a>]

00:33:33   I you know that's the thing i think you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2013">TS</a>]

00:33:34   get a lot of people hooked on drugs it [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2014">TS</a>]

00:33:36   was more like a silicate dick novel yeah [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2016">TS</a>]

00:33:38   if you had a little like a subject some [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2018">TS</a>]

00:33:40   kind of how many look like inhalers well [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2020">TS</a>]

00:33:43   all drugs are headed toward inhaler [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2023">TS</a>]

00:33:45   status i think now people are in hit [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2025">TS</a>]

00:33:47   their inhaling their weed and we're just [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2027">TS</a>]

00:33:49   gonna be we're just gonna it's gonna be [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2029">TS</a>]

00:33:51   like dune where the where everybody [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2031">TS</a>]

00:33:54   walked around the tube in their mouths [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2034">TS</a>]

00:33:55   but in any case so every day I'm [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2035">TS</a>]

00:33:58   confronted a new you know sometimes in [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2038">TS</a>]

00:34:02   the company of people that I that I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2042">TS</a>]

00:34:04   don't just admire but a door [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2044">TS</a>]

00:34:06   who at a certain point in the night our [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2046">TS</a>]

00:34:09   are like fucked up [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2049">TS</a>]

00:34:13   pinned eyeballs and Mike and and not [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2053">TS</a>]

00:34:16   falling down but like not doing good but [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2056">TS</a>]

00:34:19   like not in control of your faculties no [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2059">TS</a>]

00:34:22   longer let's say no not a good [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2062">TS</a>]

00:34:24   conversation it's no longer fun [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2064">TS</a>]

00:34:26   yeah that it becomes it becomes a rescue [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2066">TS</a>]

00:34:28   mission at a certain point like we got a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2068">TS</a>]

00:34:30   chopper this guy out of the LZ and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2070">TS</a>]

00:34:33   getting back to Saigon to triage at [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2073">TS</a>]

00:34:36   saigon being like his or her apartment [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2076">TS</a>]

00:34:38   where they're going to see what they're [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2078">TS</a>]

00:34:40   gonna sit in front of the television [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2080">TS</a>]

00:34:41   until they pass out and so but but but [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2081">TS</a>]

00:34:44   i'm always reflecting internally like it [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2084">TS</a>]

00:34:47   is there something about that that is [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2087">TS</a>]

00:34:49   appealing to me do I pursue this anymore [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2089">TS</a>]

00:34:53   even in my imagination why are my [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2093">TS</a>]

00:34:56   friends even in middle age still so [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2096">TS</a>]

00:34:59   attracted to this and it's it's not an [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2099">TS</a>]

00:35:02   academic question because it comes up [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2102">TS</a>]

00:35:06   over and over my relationships with [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2106">TS</a>]

00:35:08   these people are hamstrung not because [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2108">TS</a>]

00:35:11   there's a gulf between us because I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2111">TS</a>]

00:35:12   don't do drugs but because there's a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2112">TS</a>]

00:35:14   gulf between them and everyone [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2114">TS</a>]

00:35:15   yeah because they are because they are [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2115">TS</a>]

00:35:18   using these drugs as a substitute for [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2118">TS</a>]

00:35:20   for you know for authentic feeling or [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2120">TS</a>]

00:35:24   for growing like a certain point doesn't [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2124">TS</a>]

00:35:26   matter what started out as a substitute [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2126">TS</a>]

00:35:27   for because now it's the load-bearing [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2127">TS</a>]

00:35:29   wall right exactly but this question of [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2129">TS</a>]

00:35:32   like is it glam is keith richards [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2132">TS</a>]

00:35:34   glamorous is is drug-taking glamorous [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2134">TS</a>]

00:35:37   where is the glamour in X and when it [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2137">TS</a>]

00:35:41   becomes you know what it transitions [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2141">TS</a>]

00:35:43   from like I'm 22 [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2143">TS</a>]

00:35:45   what are my limits to like I'm 42 and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2145">TS</a>]

00:35:50   this is my pattern up [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2150">TS</a>]

00:35:54   I mean I don't like I say I see people [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2154">TS</a>]

00:35:57   in all stages of being fucked up and the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2157">TS</a>]

00:36:01   and I don't and I know what it feels [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2161">TS</a>]

00:36:03   like from inside and I honestly don't [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2163">TS</a>]

00:36:05   understand how it retains this hold on [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2165">TS</a>]

00:36:08   people beyond just the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2168">TS</a>]

00:36:11   like the physical need that manifests [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2171">TS</a>]

00:36:14   itself in their minds as an emotional [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2174">TS</a>]

00:36:17   need you know I was watching this [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2177">TS</a>]

00:36:19   special the other day [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2179">TS</a>]

00:36:20   Trey Parker and Matt Stone went to the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2180">TS</a>]

00:36:23   oscars in those dresses remember that no [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2183">TS</a>]

00:36:26   15 years ago or something that they were [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2186">TS</a>]

00:36:29   they were dresses to the Oscars and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2189">TS</a>]

00:36:31   music music it was in all the it was on [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2191">TS</a>]

00:36:33   the third page of every newspaper but [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2193">TS</a>]

00:36:36   they were on LSD [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2196">TS</a>]

00:36:37   oh yeah and-and-and I was watching the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2197">TS</a>]

00:36:41   there was kind of a little bit of [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2201">TS</a>]

00:36:43   footage of them like on the wrist on the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2203">TS</a>]

00:36:46   red carpet it like and clearly tripping [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2206">TS</a>]

00:36:49   balls and I look at that and I go okay [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2209">TS</a>]

00:36:54   that is that's pretty cool that's the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2214">TS</a>]

00:36:56   thing to have done it would be cool to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2216">TS</a>]

00:36:58   have gone to the Oscars on LSD but even [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2218">TS</a>]

00:37:03   even that I mean watching them standing [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2223">TS</a>]

00:37:06   there and like their eyes bugging out [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2226">TS</a>]

00:37:07   and and their their mouths really dry [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2227">TS</a>]

00:37:11   and then knowing that they were that the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2231">TS</a>]

00:37:15   joke was going to wear off when they [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2235">TS</a>]

00:37:16   went in and had to sit in a chair for [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2236">TS</a>]

00:37:18   two two-and-a-half hours or four hours [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2238">TS</a>]

00:37:20   or however long sit in a chair [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2240">TS</a>]

00:37:21   surrounded by a monster lizard people is [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2241">TS</a>]

00:37:26   really it's better to close it it might [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2246">TS</a>]

00:37:32   take away was like even that kinda is [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2252">TS</a>]

00:37:34   only cool to have done it wasn't [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2254">TS</a>]

00:37:38   probably even cool to you by the way I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2258">TS</a>]

00:37:40   think about I never thought about this [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2260">TS</a>]

00:37:42   till just now but i think if i look at [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2262">TS</a>]

00:37:45   the way that I dealt with substances [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2265">TS</a>]

00:37:48   when I was younger I would have said [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2268">TS</a>]

00:37:49   this at the time but think about with [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2269">TS</a>]

00:37:52   most people just think about like even [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2272">TS</a>]

00:37:53   if you're dumb frat-boy think about all [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2273">TS</a>]

00:37:54   the competition about drinking and like [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2274">TS</a>]

00:37:57   who's gonna drink more or who can who [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2277">TS</a>]

00:37:59   can usually like going to not pass out [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2279">TS</a>]

00:38:00   but even in my own case like in a way I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2280">TS</a>]

00:38:03   i think it was me like facing down [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2283">TS</a>]

00:38:06   facing down the substances like I could [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2286">TS</a>]

00:38:09   I could do a lot of this i could take a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2289">TS</a>]

00:38:11   lot of that and what is that every [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2291">TS</a>]

00:38:13   Cheryl relationship that frenemy [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2293">TS</a>]

00:38:15   relationship with substances that made [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2295">TS</a>]

00:38:18   it fun because it is really no fun to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2298">TS</a>]

00:38:20   get your ass kicked by you know taking [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2300">TS</a>]

00:38:23   way too much of something [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2303">TS</a>]

00:38:24   but you can have a fun adversarial [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2304">TS</a>]

00:38:27   relationship with weed where you keep [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2307">TS</a>]

00:38:29   pushing it as far as you can until [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2309">TS</a>]

00:38:30   you're almost a crazy person and that's [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2310">TS</a>]

00:38:32   fun for a while it's just that I think [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2312">TS</a>]

00:38:35   at some i'm gonna guess that some [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2315">TS</a>]

00:38:38   certain point it stops being a social [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2318">TS</a>]

00:38:41   thing and it stops being something where [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2321">TS</a>]

00:38:43   you're a worthy opponent and then the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2323">TS</a>]

00:38:47   substance starttswinning and you sort of [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2327">TS</a>]

00:38:49   our slumped in the backseat while the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2329">TS</a>]

00:38:50   substance drives in some ways where you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2330">TS</a>]

00:38:53   know when you're young like you might [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2333">TS</a>]

00:38:55   want to say all man I've trip and really [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2335">TS</a>]

00:38:56   hard this is really really great i hope [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2336">TS</a>]

00:38:58   it'll trip anymore i'm gonna lose my [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2338">TS</a>]

00:38:59   mind but then as you get older I mean [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2339">TS</a>]

00:39:02   that becomes more about if you like a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2342">TS</a>]

00:39:04   habit it's a company unfortunate choice [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2344">TS</a>]

00:39:06   of words but something that you start [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2346">TS</a>]

00:39:08   doing a lot i don't think it has that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2348">TS</a>]

00:39:10   same spirit anymore i think i think it's [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2350">TS</a>]

00:39:12   become something that you do so much and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2352">TS</a>]

00:39:14   so often that it becomes the equivalent [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2354">TS</a>]

00:39:16   of a vitamin or of reading the paper or [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2356">TS</a>]

00:39:19   something or you know or a coffee [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2359">TS</a>]

00:39:20   whatever it is but I i know i don't feel [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2360">TS</a>]

00:39:22   that I think when i hear something like [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2362">TS</a>]

00:39:24   oh man can imagine going on having a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2364">TS</a>]

00:39:25   week-long binge and just call my god no [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2365">TS</a>]

00:39:28   i can't imagine that making you want to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2368">TS</a>]

00:39:30   take a nap just hearing it right now [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2370">TS</a>]

00:39:32   yeah and and but I didn't that make [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2372">TS</a>]

00:39:34   sense because it seems to me that that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2374">TS</a>]

00:39:36   was at least some cum component of your [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2376">TS</a>]

00:39:38   of your deal was that facing it down and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2378">TS</a>]

00:39:42   like you're not gonna you're not gonna [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2382">TS</a>]

00:39:43   kick my ass buddy i'm gonna kick your [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2383">TS</a>]

00:39:44   ass like you're going to have to knock [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2384">TS</a>]

00:39:46   me out you think you can take me alcohol [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2386">TS</a>]

00:39:48   you're gonna have to knock me out you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2388">TS</a>]

00:39:50   know name and alcohol very seldom could [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2390">TS</a>]

00:39:52   knock me out exactly and that's that's [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2392">TS</a>]

00:39:53   what yeah but don't have an element part [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2393">TS</a>]

00:39:57   of it i always think of it as a as a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2397">TS</a>]

00:39:59   dance with the feeling and I mean those [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2399">TS</a>]

00:40:03   those are early experiences with drugs [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2403">TS</a>]

00:40:07   were this tremendously powerful and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2407">TS</a>]

00:40:09   positive dance with feeling because as a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2409">TS</a>]

00:40:13   young person my emotions were all [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2413">TS</a>]

00:40:16   completely walled off and i did not have [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2416">TS</a>]

00:40:19   a way of expressing joy or fear even or [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2419">TS</a>]

00:40:23   I mean at all emotions got channeled [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2423">TS</a>]

00:40:26   into either depression or you know that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2426">TS</a>]

00:40:32   the sort of this kind of equilibrium [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2432">TS</a>]

00:40:35   or like like a surface sarcasm sarcasm [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2435">TS</a>]

00:40:41   was was my positive emotion and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2441">TS</a>]

00:40:42   depressive repression was my negative 1 [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2442">TS</a>]

00:40:45   when I discovered these drugs it was so [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2445">TS</a>]

00:40:48   exciting because I had a I had a I had a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2448">TS</a>]

00:40:50   relationship with feeling all of a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2450">TS</a>]

00:40:51   sudden and you could drink three bottles [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2451">TS</a>]

00:40:55   and James and be loved and suddenly be [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2455">TS</a>]

00:41:00   available to people and be in a room and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2460">TS</a>]

00:41:04   feel like I feel like a new relationship [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2464">TS</a>]

00:41:08   to positive feelings and then also a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2468">TS</a>]

00:41:13   one-legged a nuanced relationship with [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2473">TS</a>]

00:41:16   negative feelings and so those that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2476">TS</a>]

00:41:18   those early experiences are so we're so [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2478">TS</a>]

00:41:20   amazing to me because like you could [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2480">TS</a>]

00:41:21   acknowledge the negativity without [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2481">TS</a>]

00:41:23   becoming too involved in it Ryder I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2483">TS</a>]

00:41:25   didn't you know I yeah I guess a little [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2485">TS</a>]

00:41:26   bit of temporary distance from something [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2486">TS</a>]

00:41:28   that used to be consuming yeah I could [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2488">TS</a>]

00:41:30   or i could yell at my friend about some [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2490">TS</a>]

00:41:33   things that he was doing that I that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2493">TS</a>]

00:41:36   during normal working hours i would just [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2496">TS</a>]

00:41:38   I would never confront him up just I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2498">TS</a>]

00:41:41   would stare at the floor and he would [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2501">TS</a>]

00:41:42   stare at the floor and but as time went [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2502">TS</a>]

00:41:46   on you know I picture myself at 23 years [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2506">TS</a>]

00:41:51   old up on a couch with my 25th beer in [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2511">TS</a>]

00:41:56   my hand and a pot pipe in my other hand [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2516">TS</a>]

00:41:59   and a tip of chewing tobacco in my lip [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2519">TS</a>]

00:42:04   and a cigarette burning in the ashtray [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2524">TS</a>]

00:42:06   and an eighth of mushrooms wearing off [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2526">TS</a>]

00:42:10   in LA and I'm thinking okay I've gotta I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2530">TS</a>]

00:42:15   and all know it's done what is right and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2535">TS</a>]

00:42:19   then I'm sitting there like just about [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2539">TS</a>]

00:42:21   the need something I need a shot of [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2541">TS</a>]

00:42:23   tequila like it's a graphic it's like an [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2543">TS</a>]

00:42:25   11 band equalizer involving your mind [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2545">TS</a>]

00:42:28   like yeah you're just weak the little [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2548">TS</a>]

00:42:29   that's right feel like I'm laying on [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2549">TS</a>]

00:42:31   this couch and I've got a I've got a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2551">TS</a>]

00:42:32   shield on me and then I've got a garbage [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2552">TS</a>]

00:42:35   can lid on top of that and then a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2555">TS</a>]

00:42:37   blanket and then a one of those silver [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2557">TS</a>]

00:42:40   blankets that keeps you warm in winter [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2560">TS</a>]

00:42:42   and then a big sign that says you know [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2562">TS</a>]

00:42:45   don't touch like how many layers [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2565">TS</a>]

00:42:48   of protection against feeling do I need [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2568">TS</a>]

00:42:51   at a certain point like a like feeling [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2571">TS</a>]

00:42:53   at be having using drugs to reveal [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2573">TS</a>]

00:42:58   feeling to myself and to reveal myself [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2578">TS</a>]

00:43:02   to feeling then I wasn't that what what [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2582">TS</a>]

00:43:06   what alcohol and drugs don't do is equip [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2586">TS</a>]

00:43:09   you to incorporate real feeling into [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2589">TS</a>]

00:43:13   your life and so then those feelings [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2593">TS</a>]

00:43:17   become overwhelming but you're not [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2597">TS</a>]

00:43:20   developing skills to incorporate them or [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2600">TS</a>]

00:43:25   grow in those feelings and so then [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2605">TS</a>]

00:43:27   you're surrounded by intense feelings [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2607">TS</a>]

00:43:29   you can't incorporate and then you're [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2609">TS</a>]

00:43:32   just trying to protect yourself against [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2612">TS</a>]

00:43:36   your feelings and as time went on [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2616">TS</a>]

00:43:39   i'm i'm i'm on this couch under the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2619">TS</a>]

00:43:42   weight of 25 garbage can lids just [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2622">TS</a>]

00:43:46   trying to keep the just trying to feel [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2626">TS</a>]

00:43:49   safe you know and what what the fuck was [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2629">TS</a>]

00:43:52   that dipper chewing tobacco supposed to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2632">TS</a>]

00:43:54   do like I'm so fucked up I can I can't [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2634">TS</a>]

00:43:58   put lift my feet up on the coffee table [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2638">TS</a>]

00:43:59   but I'm like I needed to I just you know [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2639">TS</a>]

00:44:02   what the chiz gonna even me out like the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2642">TS</a>]

00:44:05   chair and I've got my boring I'm already [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2645">TS</a>]

00:44:06   smoking a cigarette and I output a dip [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2646">TS</a>]

00:44:09   in just to like who [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2649">TS</a>]

00:44:11   that's things going to cut the all about [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2651">TS</a>]

00:44:15   feeling part that's interesting [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2655">TS</a>]

00:44:16   yeah but and as time goes on when you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2656">TS</a>]

00:44:18   get to be 40 years old and you have been [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2658">TS</a>]

00:44:20   you've been using drugs and alcohol as [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2660">TS</a>]

00:44:23   your as your substitution for feeling or [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2663">TS</a>]

00:44:28   as your proxy for your actual feelings [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2668">TS</a>]

00:44:31   or as your compressor limiter for [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2671">TS</a>]

00:44:33   feeling compressor limiter for feelings [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2673">TS</a>]

00:44:35   you know it starts to get you start to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2675">TS</a>]

00:44:38   get scared and I think it happens a lot [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2678">TS</a>]

00:44:40   lot lot before you're forty I mean you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2680">TS</a>]

00:44:45   start to get scared pretty early because [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2685">TS</a>]

00:44:47   you don't have another you don't have [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2687">TS</a>]

00:44:50   another way of of of compressing and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2690">TS</a>]

00:44:53   limiting feelings and so consequently [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2693">TS</a>]

00:44:56   they feel like maybe they are on maybe [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2696">TS</a>]

00:44:58   they have unlimited power [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2698">TS</a>]

00:45:00   and if you don't have these things to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2700">TS</a>]

00:45:02   tamp them down or just to look at them [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2702">TS</a>]

00:45:03   through maybe they will may be unleashed [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2703">TS</a>]

00:45:08   they will poison you or destroy you this [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2708">TS</a>]

00:45:10   in the second they get the chance that's [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2710">TS</a>]

00:45:12   what it feels like you know you feel [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2712">TS</a>]

00:45:14   like oh my god these feelings are going [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2714">TS</a>]

00:45:17   to overwhelm me and without you know [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2717">TS</a>]

00:45:20   without my like garbage can lids I'm [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2720">TS</a>]

00:45:26   just I'm just in a lie can just a naked [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2726">TS</a>]

00:45:29   scallop just pulsating on the beach [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2729">TS</a>]

00:45:31   waiting for the Siegel of feelings to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2731">TS</a>]

00:45:36   pluck me from my shell I used to really [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2736">TS</a>]

00:45:41   like i got is planning on sticking the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2741">TS</a>]

00:45:45   other day of the guy i had this this [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2745">TS</a>]

00:45:46   feeling in this thought that I did not [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2746">TS</a>]

00:45:48   want to acknowledge but I I'm guess I'm [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2748">TS</a>]

00:45:51   acknowledging it now by saying it is I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2751">TS</a>]

00:45:54   used to I used to completely poopoo what [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2754">TS</a>]

00:45:57   people would say about you know all the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2757">TS</a>]

00:45:59   kind of scare stuff in the 60s [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2759">TS</a>]

00:46:00   especially about what psychedelics with [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2760">TS</a>]

00:46:02   do you know how would fry your brain and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2762">TS</a>]

00:46:04   and all that kind of stuff and you know [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2764">TS</a>]

00:46:06   I with that said I I knew enough people [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2766">TS</a>]

00:46:09   at my college who did ecstasy every [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2769">TS</a>]

00:46:11   weekend to see that it didn't take more [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2771">TS</a>]

00:46:12   than a few months of doing ecstasy every [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2772">TS</a>]

00:46:14   weekend to be a really different person [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2774">TS</a>]

00:46:16   uh-huh [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2776">TS</a>]

00:46:17   like I don't need to do a spinal tap I'm [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2777">TS</a>]

00:46:19   just here to tell you that you're really [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2779">TS</a>]

00:46:20   you're really you've gotten real goofy [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2780">TS</a>]

00:46:22   like a person but there's I the other [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2782">TS</a>]

00:46:24   day I was just sitting there and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2784">TS</a>]

00:46:25   thinking and i'm like done I'm having a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2785">TS</a>]

00:46:27   lot of really exotic stuff ain't no it [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2787">TS</a>]

00:46:31   was all really mostly over for your auto [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2791">TS</a>]

00:46:35   asphyxiation ya got a special Marc Maron [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2795">TS</a>]

00:46:38   belt I I am I you know what it is i was [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2798">TS</a>]

00:46:42   thinking well I guess what I was [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2802">TS</a>]

00:46:44   thinking was I wonder I wonder in my [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2804">TS</a>]

00:46:45   heart of hearts if problems i ever have [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2805">TS</a>]

00:46:47   with all the seven dwarves of bad [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2807">TS</a>]

00:46:50   emotions you know of like of all the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2810">TS</a>]

00:46:52   anxiety fear worry [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2812">TS</a>]

00:46:54   uh I i always wonder whether there's [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2814">TS</a>]

00:46:57   things about my cognition that got [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2817">TS</a>]

00:46:59   thrown arm off of true [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2819">TS</a>]

00:47:03   bye-bye second docks and I never want to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2823">TS</a>]

00:47:05   think about it i believe it's not i [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2825">TS</a>]

00:47:06   don't feel like racked or anything like [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2826">TS</a>]

00:47:07   that but I do think about that because I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2827">TS</a>]

00:47:10   that's what I enjoyed the feeling stuff [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2830">TS</a>]

00:47:12   she [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2832">TS</a>]

00:47:13   or for me but more I loved just having a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2833">TS</a>]

00:47:16   sense of humor that I've got and having [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2836">TS</a>]

00:47:17   the did I don't know just the dark the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2837">TS</a>]

00:47:20   dark inner world that I've got there [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2840">TS</a>]

00:47:22   would be things about tripping and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2842">TS</a>]

00:47:24   thinking about high school and how [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2844">TS</a>]

00:47:25   stupid something was that just let me [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2845">TS</a>]

00:47:28   know when I smoke pot to laugh at stuff [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2848">TS</a>]

00:47:30   yeah not so much for feeling but there [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2850">TS</a>]

00:47:32   was something about being able to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2852">TS</a>]

00:47:33   reframe an event and think of it a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2853">TS</a>]

00:47:36   different way I'm obviously start [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2856">TS</a>]

00:47:37   laughing really stupid Stephanie that's [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2857">TS</a>]

00:47:38   what I loved but that's what I working [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2858">TS</a>]

00:47:40   well I wonder if my sights got knocked [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2860">TS</a>]

00:47:43   off to the left to the right a little [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2863">TS</a>]

00:47:44   too much from those days everyone giving [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2864">TS</a>]

00:47:47   wonder about that well and I think it i [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2867">TS</a>]

00:47:49   think i think when i say feelings I mean [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2869">TS</a>]

00:47:51   that yet using the drugs to get to that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2871">TS</a>]

00:47:57   to get to that place of two even the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2877">TS</a>]

00:48:00   lightheartedness or the the vision of [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2880">TS</a>]

00:48:03   the world that that the that the drugs [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2883">TS</a>]

00:48:07   provide like it I i still feel like it's [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2887">TS</a>]

00:48:10   all in the language of feelings you know [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2890">TS</a>]

00:48:13   or in the language of like translating [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2893">TS</a>]

00:48:15   your thoughts and feelings into into [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2895">TS</a>]

00:48:18   like up like a thing that you can [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2898">TS</a>]

00:48:24   approximate the thing that you can [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2904">TS</a>]

00:48:25   handle and I mean I i still have I guess [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2905">TS</a>]

00:48:31   what I what I could only describe as [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2911">TS</a>]

00:48:33   flashbacks in the sense that I i revisit [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2913">TS</a>]

00:48:37   the thing that I only ever saw or only [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2917">TS</a>]

00:48:40   ever felt under psychedelic so I don't [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2920">TS</a>]

00:48:43   feel like it's a flashback like oh the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2923">TS</a>]

00:48:45   choppers you know yeah like the song I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2925">TS</a>]

00:48:48   mean that all that vehicle stuff that I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2928">TS</a>]

00:48:50   see is in real time and it's happening [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2930">TS</a>]

00:48:52   now but the but like you know those [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2932">TS</a>]

00:48:55   moments where you realize through [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2935">TS</a>]

00:48:57   psychedelics like how how small and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2937">TS</a>]

00:49:00   inane human endeavor is but also how [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2940">TS</a>]

00:49:05   like how beautiful and how koyaanisqatsi [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2945">TS</a>]

00:49:09   it is that that stuff still happens and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2949">TS</a>]

00:49:13   i'll still see a certain cast of light [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2953">TS</a>]

00:49:15   that kind of excites the excites that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2955">TS</a>]

00:49:18   part of my brain but I don't feel like I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2958">TS</a>]

00:49:20   was broken or even even bent out of true [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2960">TS</a>]

00:49:25   so much as well buy drugs as much as I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2965">TS</a>]

00:49:33   was by the by the punishment that I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2973">TS</a>]

00:49:38   inflicted on myself during those years [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2978">TS</a>]

00:49:40   you know I didn't need to punish myself [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2980">TS</a>]

00:49:42   so hard and it made me a different [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2982">TS</a>]

00:49:45   person by virtue of just the i don't [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2985">TS</a>]

00:49:51   think i have like a cacao our reaction [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2991">TS</a>]

00:49:55   it's kind of the opposite you know I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2995">TS</a>]

00:49:57   like lead with my nose yeah but-but-but [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/2997">TS</a>]

00:50:01   that whole business of scheduling drugs [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3001">TS</a>]

00:50:04   like and I and I see this all the time [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3004">TS</a>]

00:50:06   particularly now that that pot is legal [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3006">TS</a>]

00:50:08   in Washington State this this huge [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3008">TS</a>]

00:50:11   advocacy that people feel that pot is a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3011">TS</a>]

00:50:15   medicine or that it's a sacrament or [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3015">TS</a>]

00:50:20   that it you know Potter's is better than [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3020">TS</a>]

00:50:23   alcohol but worse than cigarettes but [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3023">TS</a>]

00:50:28   maybe better than cigarettes or that LSD [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3028">TS</a>]

00:50:31   is dangerous in San Francisco you can [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3031">TS</a>]

00:50:33   smoke pot a lot more places and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3033">TS</a>]

00:50:34   cigarettes [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3034">TS</a>]

00:50:35   well yeah and now I mean there are [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3035">TS</a>]

00:50:37   people that would never smoke a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3037">TS</a>]

00:50:39   cigarette that are smoking pot of [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3039">TS</a>]

00:50:41   up-and-down well in somebody's house [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3041">TS</a>]

00:50:42   like it's not unusual to be at a party [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3042">TS</a>]

00:50:44   and somebody's park city boy you light [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3044">TS</a>]

00:50:46   up a cigarette right there throwing the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3046">TS</a>]

00:50:48   fireplace yeah but but for me like I I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3048">TS</a>]

00:50:52   never there was a while where I felt [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3052">TS</a>]

00:50:54   just socially the where we all get [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3054">TS</a>]

00:51:00   pressured into thinking of drugs on a on [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3060">TS</a>]

00:51:03   a schedule and heroin and crack or [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3063">TS</a>]

00:51:07   somehow way out in the distance and pot [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3067">TS</a>]

00:51:10   okay and aspirin are up here in the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3070">TS</a>]

00:51:15   foreground and this whole gateway drug [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3075">TS</a>]

00:51:19   idea but for me personally like I have [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3079">TS</a>]

00:51:27   I i tried all those drugs and had a kind [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3087">TS</a>]

00:51:31   of profound experience with each one of [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3091">TS</a>]

00:51:33   them and they each have a kind of [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3093">TS</a>]

00:51:35   magical piece of the puzzle to deliver [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3095">TS</a>]

00:51:38   and i have watched people suffer under [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3098">TS</a>]

00:51:44   all those drugs and the people that I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3104">TS</a>]

00:51:47   know in their forties who are laboring [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3107">TS</a>]

00:51:49   under their marijuana addiction are at [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3109">TS</a>]

00:51:54   just as much a disadvantage as the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3114">TS</a>]

00:51:57   people i know in their forties who are [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3117">TS</a>]

00:51:59   still heroin addicts and are managing [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3119">TS</a>]

00:52:01   that problem that's been the pot people [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3121">TS</a>]

00:52:03   are like God love them they're [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3123">TS</a>]

00:52:05   surrounded by other people who are more [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3125">TS</a>]

00:52:08   than happy to agree with them about how [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3128">TS</a>]

00:52:09   like getting really stoned a couple [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3129">TS</a>]

00:52:12   times a day is just didn't really you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3132">TS</a>]

00:52:15   find a lot of commonality or comedy you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3135">TS</a>]

00:52:18   know I mean like meeting other people [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3138">TS</a>]

00:52:19   like that you kind of check each other [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3139">TS</a>]

00:52:21   on the shoulder and garlic [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3141">TS</a>]

00:52:22   it's cool that we get really wasted like [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3142">TS</a>]

00:52:23   at least once a day and that becomes [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3143">TS</a>]

00:52:26   that becomes totally normal and then you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3146">TS</a>]

00:52:28   surround yourself with that and that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3148">TS</a>]

00:52:29   becomes I don't mean to sound judgey [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3149">TS</a>]

00:52:31   but like i just had met some people that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3151">TS</a>]

00:52:33   just it seems like they're in a constant [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3153">TS</a>]

00:52:34   stupor and don't have any way to realize [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3154">TS</a>]

00:52:36   that they're in a constant super well [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3156">TS</a>]

00:52:38   i'm particularly like over the course of [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3158">TS</a>]

00:52:40   20 years of smoking pot when when like [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3160">TS</a>]

00:52:43   like any drug or like any food if pot is [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3163">TS</a>]

00:52:46   both the reward for a job well done and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3166">TS</a>]

00:52:49   a good day and pot is also the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3169">TS</a>]

00:52:52   consolation for a bad day then what pot [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3172">TS</a>]

00:52:57   is what you are doing instead of having [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3177">TS</a>]

00:53:01   feelings what you are doing instead of [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3181">TS</a>]

00:53:03   sitting there and thinking about what [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3183">TS</a>]

00:53:04   happened today and feeling those [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3184">TS</a>]

00:53:07   feelings again and processing it and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3187">TS</a>]

00:53:09   growing right at the pot is at least [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3189">TS</a>]

00:53:13   interjecting itself where you are [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3193">TS</a>]

00:53:15   intersecting it in between your real [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3195">TS</a>]

00:53:18   lived experience and the very necessary [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3198">TS</a>]

00:53:21   sort of proto dreaming that we all need [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3201">TS</a>]

00:53:25   to do at the end of the day words like [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3205">TS</a>]

00:53:26   today was a bad day i had a bad day [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3206">TS</a>]

00:53:28   today and i don't i'm not going to watch [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3208">TS</a>]

00:53:31   TV right now I'm not going to have a hit [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3211">TS</a>]

00:53:35   of pot or a glass of wine i'm going to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3215">TS</a>]

00:53:37   sit here for a minute and i'm just going [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3217">TS</a>]

00:53:39   to reflect on what [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3219">TS</a>]

00:53:40   and down and if if you're not doing that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3220">TS</a>]

00:53:43   then you then you are in a kind of [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3223">TS</a>]

00:53:48   whirlpool where you're just going back [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3228">TS</a>]

00:53:51   out the next day and hoping that it [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3231">TS</a>]

00:53:53   doesn't happen again but you're not [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3233">TS</a>]

00:53:54   you're not you're not reflecting you're [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3234">TS</a>]

00:53:58   introducing another element into the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3238">TS</a>]

00:54:00   reflection that is supposed to you know [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3240">TS</a>]

00:54:05   that you say to yourself is calming you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3245">TS</a>]

00:54:07   or is making in that glass of wine is [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3247">TS</a>]

00:54:10   necessary to unwind at the end of the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3250">TS</a>]

00:54:13   day and it's like really is unwinding [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3253">TS</a>]

00:54:15   what you need to be doing or do you need [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3255">TS</a>]

00:54:18   to be like wondering what you know like [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3258">TS</a>]

00:54:22   wondering what happened and and and what [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3262">TS</a>]

00:54:25   to do differently so I I feel like like [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3265">TS</a>]

00:54:30   I I know a guy in Seattle who runs a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3270">TS</a>]

00:54:32   multimillion-dollar enterprise and every [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3272">TS</a>]

00:54:37   day he gets up in the morning and he [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3277">TS</a>]

00:54:40   makes a bunch of business decisions that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3280">TS</a>]

00:54:41   are that keep his business going and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3281">TS</a>]

00:54:45   keep the and keep the money coming in [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3285">TS</a>]

00:54:48   and then he goes out to lunch and by two [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3288">TS</a>]

00:54:52   o'clock in the afternoon he has had a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3292">TS</a>]

00:54:55   handful of pills four lines off the back [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3295">TS</a>]

00:54:58   of a toilet he spent six hundred dollars [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3298">TS</a>]

00:55:01   at lunch and consume two bottles of [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3301">TS</a>]

00:55:04   something and then he goes back to work [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3304">TS</a>]

00:55:07   Wow and from a contact high bottom [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3307">TS</a>]

00:55:10   sometimes very very high vada clock to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3310">TS</a>]

00:55:14   six o'clock he continues to make [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3314">TS</a>]

00:55:16   business decisions right but now he is [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3316">TS</a>]

00:55:20   he is basically undoing the work he does [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3320">TS</a>]

00:55:23   every morning and somehow he makes it [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3323">TS</a>]

00:55:25   you know like somehow he gets to the end [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3325">TS</a>]

00:55:26   of the day and he is like little is some [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3326">TS</a>]

00:55:30   wine and unwind after that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3330">TS</a>]

00:55:31   yeah a little bit of white on wine he's [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3331">TS</a>]

00:55:33   borderline date raping his assistant is [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3333">TS</a>]

00:55:36   like everybody in the town is like this [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3336">TS</a>]

00:55:39   guy [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3339">TS</a>]

00:55:40   oh my god like somebody stop him but of [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3340">TS</a>]

00:55:42   course nobody can and because he's a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3342">TS</a>]

00:55:45   millionaire [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3345">TS</a>]

00:55:46   everybody's just like well you know he [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3346">TS</a>]

00:55:48   is a millionaire [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3348">TS</a>]

00:55:49   he is he does make it work somehow [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3349">TS</a>]

00:55:51   and what for whatever however this guy's [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3351">TS</a>]

00:55:54   metabolism works everything about it so [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3354">TS</a>]

00:55:55   they kind of grudging admiration [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3355">TS</a>]

00:55:58   well never seriously I mean we go wow [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3358">TS</a>]

00:56:00   that I mean it hasn't fallen apart yet [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3360">TS</a>]

00:56:02   right but also a kind of a kind of fear [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3362">TS</a>]

00:56:04   that's in everybody of like well I want [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3364">TS</a>]

00:56:06   you know it's one thing to confront a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3366">TS</a>]

00:56:07   guy who is who is that is vomiting on [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3367">TS</a>]

00:56:11   himself on the sidewalk in front of the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3371">TS</a>]

00:56:13   bar but it's another thing to confront a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3373">TS</a>]

00:56:15   guy who's being helped into his limo by [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3375">TS</a>]

00:56:18   his two assistants especially if you and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3378">TS</a>]

00:56:22   I can't afford a limo it yeah right you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3382">TS</a>]

00:56:25   seem like you know ungraceful to to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3385">TS</a>]

00:56:27   point that out say like hey you know [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3387">TS</a>]

00:56:30   what all these you know this limo and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3390">TS</a>]

00:56:32   these two assistants and all these drugs [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3392">TS</a>]

00:56:33   are just garbage can lids that you're [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3393">TS</a>]

00:56:35   piling on top of yourself on the couch [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3395">TS</a>]

00:56:37   and maybe you should have a chew depart [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3397">TS</a>]

00:56:38   hit neck neck be two people should take [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3398">TS</a>]

00:56:41   it too because that's really gonna take [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3401">TS</a>]

00:56:42   the edge off but you know i mean there [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3402">TS</a>]

00:56:46   isn't it there it by the same token you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3406">TS</a>]

00:56:49   know I look at him and I know he's [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3409">TS</a>]

00:56:50   running a business at a level that that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3410">TS</a>]

00:56:53   escapes me [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3413">TS</a>]

00:56:54   do not get up at five o'clock in the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3414">TS</a>]

00:56:56   morning and make six hours of really [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3416">TS</a>]

00:56:57   super good business decisions before [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3417">TS</a>]

00:56:59   taking my first like a handful of [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3419">TS</a>]

00:57:03   percocets [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3423">TS</a>]

00:57:04   I I got up this morning and drank coffee [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3424">TS</a>]

00:57:07   out of a beer mug in the bathtub reading [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3427">TS</a>]

00:57:10   about Sandra Bullock haven't had a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3430">TS</a>]

00:57:12   hadn't haven't had a single sex crime [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3432">TS</a>]

00:57:14   all day not i said i have not I have not [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3434">TS</a>]

00:57:16   made an assistant feel weird about [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3436">TS</a>]

00:57:21   herself [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3441">TS</a>]

00:57:23   I'll in 40 now yeah you're really [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3443">TS</a>]

00:57:25   limiting yourself and i think when i [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3445">TS</a>]

00:57:29   don't know i don't say when it's younger [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3449">TS</a>]

00:57:31   when you're younger but I i think [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3451">TS</a>]

00:57:32   there's there if if you're going to try [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3452">TS</a>]

00:57:34   and summarize a lot of what makes people [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3454">TS</a>]

00:57:39   on accidentally doing toxicants it has [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3459">TS</a>]

00:57:43   something to do with what i would call [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3463">TS</a>]

00:57:45   the possibilities of self when you're [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3465">TS</a>]

00:57:48   very young I think it's hard to really [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3468">TS</a>]

00:57:50   understand all the possibilities of self [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3470">TS</a>]

00:57:52   for better or for worse and in your case [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3472">TS</a>]

00:57:54   that might make you feel less inhibited [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3474">TS</a>]

00:57:56   to say something or feel something or to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3476">TS</a>]

00:57:59   be aware of a feeling that you have [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3479">TS</a>]

00:58:00   that's a certain kind of possibility of [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3480">TS</a>]

00:58:02   self but i mean i think pretty much all [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3482">TS</a>]

00:58:04   the drugs [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3484">TS</a>]

00:58:05   and we're talking about have those [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3485">TS</a>]

00:58:07   qualities to them where you know if you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3487">TS</a>]

00:58:10   do a whole bunch of blow i'm given to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3490">TS</a>]

00:58:11   believe your possibilities of self can [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3491">TS</a>]

00:58:13   seem extremely ambitious you feel pretty [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3493">TS</a>]

00:58:16   good about the future pretty selfie in [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3496">TS</a>]

00:58:19   the first 10 minutes after you do a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3499">TS</a>]

00:58:21   bunch of below if you like the futures [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3501">TS</a>]

00:58:23   pretty but everything in my case you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3503">TS</a>]

00:58:25   know LSD could show me possibilities [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3505">TS</a>]

00:58:28   itself that I would have had access to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3508">TS</a>]

00:58:30   in such a you know incontrovertible like [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3510">TS</a>]

00:58:33   bald way like wow this I feel like I can [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3513">TS</a>]

00:58:36   see this thing with this clarity that I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3516">TS</a>]

00:58:37   couldn't before [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3517">TS</a>]

00:58:38   absolute so I mean I don't know when [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3518">TS</a>]

00:58:40   that turns into something that becomes [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3520">TS</a>]

00:58:41   problematic but I mean I think like [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3521">TS</a>]

00:58:43   you're getting at i'm not i'm not in any [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3523">TS</a>]

00:58:46   way trying to be like a what a prude [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3526">TS</a>]

00:58:48   it's just it like I'm really in some [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3528">TS</a>]

00:58:50   ways I'm really glad that I had a safe [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3530">TS</a>]

00:58:52   place to fuck around with those [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3532">TS</a>]

00:58:55   possibilities of self for a small amount [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3535">TS</a>]

00:58:58   of time [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3538">TS</a>]

00:58:59   yeah and i'm glad i didn't keep trying [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3539">TS</a>]

00:59:02   to figure that out too much too often [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3542">TS</a>]

00:59:04   too much [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3544">TS</a>]

00:59:06   well this is for 20 more years about [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3546">TS</a>]

00:59:08   trying to trying to come up with a like [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3548">TS</a>]

00:59:10   a a cool drug policy for the future [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3550">TS</a>]

00:59:15   because I I really do believe that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3555">TS</a>]

00:59:18   everybody who is curious should try [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3558">TS</a>]

00:59:22   every drug and and should try every drug [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3562">TS</a>]

00:59:28   more than once but there but there is a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3568">TS</a>]

00:59:32   moment where you are with every single [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3572">TS</a>]

00:59:36   drug chasing the dragon and trying to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3576">TS</a>]

00:59:40   recapture the feeling that you that you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3580">TS</a>]

00:59:43   had you know and with with LSD if you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3583">TS</a>]

00:59:47   took LSD a couple of times a week for a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3587">TS</a>]

00:59:50   whole summer you would have a whole [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3590">TS</a>]

00:59:54   variety of experiences and it would be [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3594">TS</a>]

00:59:55   mind-expanding and and I think I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3595">TS</a>]

00:59:55   mind-expanding and and I think I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3595">TS</a>]

01:00:00   would be an overall net positive for you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3600">TS</a>]

01:00:02   but at the end of the summer you would [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3602">TS</a>]

01:00:05   already start to feel like oh this trip [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3605">TS</a>]

01:00:10   isn't getting me to that to the place [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3610">TS</a>]

01:00:13   that some of those trips in mid-summer [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3613">TS</a>]

01:00:16   did you know and with cocaine and with [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3616">TS</a>]

01:00:20   mushrooms and with MDMA and heroin even [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3620">TS</a>]

01:00:26   like all certainly crack like you do it [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3626">TS</a>]

01:00:32   the first time and you're like holy [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3632">TS</a>]

01:00:34   mother of god and then the second time [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3634">TS</a>]

01:00:37   it's like you cannot believe you're [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3637">TS</a>]

01:00:39   there again and there and that that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3639">TS</a>]

01:00:43   climb its it doesn't fall off [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3643">TS</a>]

01:00:46   immediately like that you keep climbing [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3646">TS</a>]

01:00:48   and that's the fifth time you do it it's [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3648">TS</a>]

01:00:50   like that's why the fifth time you do it [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3650">TS</a>]

01:00:54   you have a tendency to think i have [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3654">TS</a>]

01:00:56   found my new band right like that moment [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3656">TS</a>]

01:00:59   that I had really high when i was [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3659">TS</a>]

01:01:01   driving around Anchorage with my friend [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3661">TS</a>]

01:01:02   Peter and I said and we were listening [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3662">TS</a>]

01:01:05   to thick as a brick and I said you know [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3665">TS</a>]

01:01:08   what [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3668">TS</a>]

01:01:08   Jethro tall is going to be my new band [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3668">TS</a>]

01:01:11   i'm going to go down the Jethro Tull fan [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3671">TS</a>]

01:01:14   hole and and that's going to set me [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3674">TS</a>]

01:01:19   apart because there aren't a lot of [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3679">TS</a>]

01:01:20   jethro tull fans that I know that are [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3680">TS</a>]

01:01:22   like deep deep fans and it's going to be [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3682">TS</a>]

01:01:25   me Jethro Tull is gonna be my band Peter [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3685">TS</a>]

01:01:27   was like I don't know that our druids or [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3687">TS</a>]

01:01:29   Wiccans yeah he was like I don't know [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3689">TS</a>]

01:01:31   man are you sure about that and I was [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3691">TS</a>]

01:01:32   like I'm and we were both pretty pretty [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3692">TS</a>]

01:01:34   wasted and i said i'm pretty sure that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3694">TS</a>]

01:01:36   Jethro at all like speaks to me in this [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3696">TS</a>]

01:01:38   way and then of course the next day I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3698">TS</a>]

01:01:41   was like oh my god what was I think [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3701">TS</a>]

01:01:42   throat old can't be my band but you know [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3702">TS</a>]

01:01:45   everybody has that experience on the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3705">TS</a>]

01:01:47   scene of the fifth time they do a drug [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3707">TS</a>]

01:01:48   was just like this is my thing this is [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3708">TS</a>]

01:01:50   my jam who and almost immediately after [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3710">TS</a>]

01:01:53   that you start getting it's diminishing [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3713">TS</a>]

01:01:55   returns [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3715">TS</a>]

01:01:57   so how we could approach drugs as a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3717">TS</a>]

01:02:00   culture and say like listen it's like [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3720">TS</a>]

01:02:03   room Springer [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3723">TS</a>]

01:02:04   her at a certain point you you leave the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3724">TS</a>]

01:02:08   village and you go on your drug odyssey [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3728">TS</a>]

01:02:11   because I meet people all the time who [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3731">TS</a>]

01:02:13   say I have never taken a drug and I go [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3733">TS</a>]

01:02:16   all really [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3736">TS</a>]

01:02:18   Jesus man you should try some drugs [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3738">TS</a>]

01:02:21   their astonishing la don't start now [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3741">TS</a>]

01:02:24   that be what a bummer [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3744">TS</a>]

01:02:25   you really should have 20 years ago yeah [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3745">TS</a>]

01:02:27   but even like a 40 year old who's never [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3747">TS</a>]

01:02:28   taken LSD it's like okay I don't think [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3748">TS</a>]

01:02:31   you should take LSD and get on the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3751">TS</a>]

01:02:33   subway by yourself [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3753">TS</a>]

01:02:34   yeah but if you went out to the beach [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3754">TS</a>]

01:02:36   with I worry about my neuroplasticity [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3756">TS</a>]

01:02:38   John is that right you think you think [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3758">TS</a>]

01:02:40   it would you think it might actually zap [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3760">TS</a>]

01:02:43   you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3763">TS</a>]

01:02:43   I mean I've known some people that one [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3763">TS</a>]

01:02:45   guy in particular that LSD ruined his [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3765">TS</a>]

01:02:48   life and turned him into a startling [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3768">TS</a>]

01:02:51   schizophrenia like chicken pox like [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3771">TS</a>]

01:02:53   gonna do before your 35 there's gonna be [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3773">TS</a>]

01:02:55   problems that's my guess you think you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3775">TS</a>]

01:02:56   would come back from a trip and just be [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3776">TS</a>]

01:02:58   like little bit yeah [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3778">TS</a>]

01:03:00   Baron know I don't know I mean I just I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3780">TS</a>]

01:03:03   just my body and my I would like to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3783">TS</a>]

01:03:07   think my i'll be an unformed mind I I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3787">TS</a>]

01:03:10   definitely have more plasticity and more [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3790">TS</a>]

01:03:12   bounce back in general so I mean I don't [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3792">TS</a>]

01:03:14   know I'm not send the transit to decide [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3794">TS</a>]

01:03:15   people that did the joy and really [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3795">TS</a>]

01:03:17   terror of LSD haha [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3797">TS</a>]

01:03:21   listen have you have you not experience [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3801">TS</a>]

01:03:23   the terror of LSD might just correct you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3803">TS</a>]

01:03:27   terrified you should be terrified at the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3807">TS</a>]

01:03:29   Oscars or disney world it's really fun [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3809">TS</a>]

01:03:31   I do fear that the the the idea because [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3811">TS</a>]

01:03:34   I always held out the possibility like [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3814">TS</a>]

01:03:36   okay I understand that psychedelics are [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3816">TS</a>]

01:03:38   not strictly an addictive drug and when [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3818">TS</a>]

01:03:43   I am 50 years old maybe I'll want to go [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3823">TS</a>]

01:03:45   out to then you know the northern coast [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3825">TS</a>]

01:03:49   and stand on a windswept rock and take [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3829">TS</a>]

01:03:51   some LSD got to connect harbor and see [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3831">TS</a>]

01:03:54   holiday it's yeah well no no just go out [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3834">TS</a>]

01:03:57   and like watch the whales ok but then I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3837">TS</a>]

01:04:00   then I recall those times when I would [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3840">TS</a>]

01:04:04   be sitting when I would be sitting on [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3844">TS</a>]

01:04:07   the quad of my college naked wrapped in [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3847">TS</a>]

01:04:11   a blanket and trying everything i could [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3851">TS</a>]

01:04:16   to keep the complete [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3856">TS</a>]

01:04:18   panic oh my god oh I don't miss that and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3858">TS</a>]

01:04:21   saying like do not panic this is not you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3861">TS</a>]

01:04:25   know this will not last forever dude [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3865">TS</a>]

01:04:26   please do not lose your last toehold [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3866">TS</a>]

01:04:29   with reality and then imagine myself now [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3869">TS</a>]

01:04:32   with with as you're describing like my [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3872">TS</a>]

01:04:35   complete lack of plasticity or her now [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3875">TS</a>]

01:04:38   and just feeling with student recovery [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3878">TS</a>]

01:04:40   on that would be today [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3880">TS</a>]

01:04:41   nonono oh yeah i just i think of like ah [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3881">TS</a>]

01:04:47   like a windham hill album on repeat that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3887">TS</a>]

01:04:50   I somehow couldn't get to turn off and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3890">TS</a>]

01:04:53   having one thought in my head which is [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3893">TS</a>]

01:04:54   that this is the only thought in my head [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3894">TS</a>]

01:04:56   and this may be the only thought in my [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3896">TS</a>]

01:04:58   head that I ever have it and and my [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3898">TS</a>]

01:05:00   brain has stopped working [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3900">TS</a>]

01:05:02   you know I used to really hate to really [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3902">TS</a>]

01:05:04   be into the fact that i could think and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3904">TS</a>]

01:05:06   and and then I would sit there and I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3906">TS</a>]

01:05:08   think this is the last time I'm ever [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3908">TS</a>]

01:05:09   going to think i'm gonna take forever [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3909">TS</a>]

01:05:10   and the thought that I'm thinking is [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3910">TS</a>]

01:05:12   that this is the last time I'm ever [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3912">TS</a>]

01:05:13   going to think i'm gonna take forever [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3913">TS</a>]

01:05:14   haha nicee meanwhile like windham hill [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3914">TS</a>]

01:05:18   violin music is playing just thinking [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3918">TS</a>]

01:05:20   there's absolutely there's no proof in [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3920">TS</a>]

01:05:22   the entire universe to show me that this [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3922">TS</a>]

01:05:25   will never be any different [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3925">TS</a>]

01:05:26   I'm going to lose my mind right now [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3926">TS</a>]

01:05:29   sitting here and there's not a damn [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3929">TS</a>]

01:05:31   thing I can do about it [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3931">TS</a>]

01:05:32   I would I was hitchhiking and ended up [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3932">TS</a>]

01:05:35   in Durango Colorado at one time and got [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3935">TS</a>]

01:05:39   into a pickup truck with a guy and he [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3939">TS</a>]

01:05:41   was like wanna go to a party and I was [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3941">TS</a>]

01:05:44   like absolutely and he said one some [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3944">TS</a>]

01:05:46   acid and I said absolutely and we show [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3946">TS</a>]

01:05:51   up at this party and it's like it's like [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3951">TS</a>]

01:05:53   a on the surface of its a cool scene [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3953">TS</a>]

01:05:55   right it's like a like a country kind of [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3955">TS</a>]

01:05:58   house on some land and there's a bunch [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3958">TS</a>]

01:06:01   of cool cool cats there and and pretty [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3961">TS</a>]

01:06:05   girls and in slough r print dresses and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3965">TS</a>]

01:06:07   dogs lolling around on the porch [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3967">TS</a>]

01:06:11   and I kind of walk into this party and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3971">TS</a>]

01:06:13   the acid starts coming on and I looked [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3973">TS</a>]

01:06:18   and everybody kind of looks at me and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3978">TS</a>]

01:06:20   there is no welcome [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3980">TS</a>]

01:06:22   no one's welcome in I'm like hey hi how [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3982">TS</a>]

01:06:26   are you i'm just i just got a ride with [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3986">TS</a>]

01:06:29   this guy and now I'm here and you know [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3989">TS</a>]

01:06:32   huh young a young person just like you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3992">TS</a>]

01:06:34   guys and everybody was like and so now [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/3994">TS</a>]

01:06:41   I'm out in the woods in this at this [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/4001">TS</a>]

01:06:44   house party and I'm coming on some kind [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/4004">TS</a>]

01:06:50   of strychnine t acid and no one is [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/4010">TS</a>]

01:06:54   friendly like nerves have been lightly [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/4014">TS</a>]

01:06:58   toasted yeah and i felt myself on it [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/4018">TS</a>]

01:07:02   right now I felt myself on the edge of [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/4022">TS</a>]

01:07:04   falling off this precipice of like this [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/4024">TS</a>]

01:07:08   is not gonna go well this is not going [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/4028">TS</a>]

01:07:10   to be fun and I when I sat on the i sat [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/4030">TS</a>]

01:07:14   in a chair on the porch and I'm betting [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/4034">TS</a>]

01:07:15   this dog I'm like dog [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/4035">TS</a>]

01:07:17   you and me we're gonna get through this [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/4037">TS</a>]

01:07:19   together and the dog just walks off [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/4039">TS</a>]

01:07:21   wonderfully alright what it really alone [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/4041">TS</a>]

01:07:27   net up thanks a lot buddy and I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/4047">TS</a>]

01:07:29   basically just meant like walking in the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/4049">TS</a>]

01:07:31   woods and eventually found another house [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/4051">TS</a>]

01:07:34   party and ended up sitting on the living [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/4054">TS</a>]

01:07:36   room floor i'm pretty sure stacking [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/4056">TS</a>]

01:07:40   paper clips for a couple of hours and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/4060">TS</a>]

01:07:44   then the cops came to the party and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/4064">TS</a>]

01:07:47   busted the party and i was so glad to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/4067">TS</a>]

01:07:49   see them like so thrilled that the cops [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/4069">TS</a>]

01:07:53   were there because i felt like the cops [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/4073">TS</a>]

01:07:55   and I had a long-term understanding with [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/4075">TS</a>]

01:07:58   one another it would be like a dog [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/4078">TS</a>]

01:08:00   yeah it's like right the cops i mean at [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/4080">TS</a>]

01:08:02   least i can talk to the cops not sure [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/4082">TS</a>]

01:08:04   you know what you can do but they're [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/4084">TS</a>]

01:08:05   dependable they're dependable and you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/4085">TS</a>]

01:08:07   can say like hey man how's it going out [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/4087">TS</a>]

01:08:08   there a lot of parties tonight and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/4088">TS</a>]

01:08:10   they're just like looking over your [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/4090">TS</a>]

01:08:11   shoulder trying to figure out who's in [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/4091">TS</a>]

01:08:13   his place is like a i'll talk to you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/4093">TS</a>]

01:08:14   guys I mean you know i'm not from here [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/4094">TS</a>]

01:08:17   wanna see my ID [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/4097">TS</a>]

01:08:19   and look at the paper clips [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/4099">TS</a>]

01:08:22   ya wanna see what I've been wanting to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/4102">TS</a>]

01:08:23   see what I've been doing they're over [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/4103">TS</a>]

01:08:25   here that I can I had to do it kinda out [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/4105">TS</a>]

01:08:28   of the way because a lot of traffic [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/4108">TS</a>]

01:08:29   through this party but like the whole [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/4109">TS</a>]

01:08:32   night long just like staving off panic [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/4112">TS</a>]

01:08:34   and and particularly at the beginning [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/4114">TS</a>]

01:08:35   with things like that knowing that like [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/4115">TS</a>]

01:08:37   okay this is an eight-hour thing now for [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/4117">TS</a>]

01:08:39   the next eight hours i'm going to just [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/4119">TS</a>]

01:08:41   be chain smoking camel filters stacking [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/4121">TS</a>]

01:08:43   paper clips and trying to trying to talk [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/4123">TS</a>]

01:08:47   to any receptive pet and just like [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/4127">TS</a>]

01:08:52   hoping that the cops come by are hoping [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/4132">TS</a>]

01:08:54   that somebody interesting like comes [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/4134">TS</a>]

01:08:55   around and not it was an uncool seen I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/4135">TS</a>]

01:08:58   still reflect on that somehow did you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/4138">TS</a>]

01:09:00   get back to where you started out he had [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/4140">TS</a>]

01:09:03   to get a ride from a stranger with [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/4143">TS</a>]

01:09:04   strange as strange as in a strange land [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/4144">TS</a>]

01:09:06   how did you get back to where you were [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/4146">TS</a>]

01:09:08   we started out well this was the thing [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/4148">TS</a>]

01:09:10   about me at that time there was no back [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/4150">TS</a>]

01:09:13   i ended up coming down off of the acid [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/4153">TS</a>]

01:09:18   and i was at someplace and ice went to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/4158">TS</a>]

01:09:21   sleep on the couch and I woke up in the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/4161">TS</a>]

01:09:23   morning and that's where i was i mean i [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/4163">TS</a>]

01:09:26   had my little bag of of my little pack [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/4166">TS</a>]

01:09:29   of underwear and socks and i woke up at [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/4169">TS</a>]

01:09:33   this new house with these new kind of [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/4173">TS</a>]

01:09:35   unfriendly people and you know charmed [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/4175">TS</a>]

01:09:40   my way into a cup of coffee and then I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/4180">TS</a>]

01:09:42   started off walking down the road just [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/4182">TS</a>]

01:09:47   like just like Bruce Banner at the end [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/4187">TS</a>]

01:09:49   of every episode of the incredible hulk [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/4189">TS</a>]

01:09:51   really now you can't find your slippers [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/4191">TS</a>]

01:09:53   haha [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/4193">TS</a>]

01:09:58   [Music] [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEMOoGv0/4198">TS</a>]