Roderick on the Line

Ep. 100: "Tertiary Lobster Fork"


  hello hi John [TS]

  I'm Merlin has gone good good good good [TS]

  are you going [TS]

  I didn't get hella have a dusky voice [TS]

  from having cold [TS]

  oh you doing a husky voice sound esky [TS]

  you do you sound like a stage manager of [TS]

  a southern theatre company [TS]

  listen I'm glad y'all gonna be out here [TS]

  we're gonna need to get them max and we [TS]

  need to take a sweep out that whole area [TS]

  for y'all get out there and sweep up [TS]

  that whole area that take and take and I [TS]

  I grew up did you do with that was that [TS]

  in parlance when you were a child take [TS]

  and take and is that purely a southern [TS]

  nothing [TS]

  yeah I don't know what that means a [TS]

  unique you any you need well first of [TS]

  all you always say you need to anything [TS]

  you need to take move them boxes [TS]

  otay can move the boxes no one here who [TS]

  didn't speak that way up here i may just [TS]

  do this all the time but my favorite is [TS]

  the kind of southern family has a [TS]

  voicemail desk like that but a little [TS]

  bit of family [TS]

  emily is permanently family now and not [TS]

  its kind of Georgia think yeah right [TS]

  sure that there's a there's that there's [TS]

  that that southern there's that southern [TS]

  twang that almost sounds like like [TS]

  Brooklyn nasal you know yeah yeah yeahs [TS]

  the it's it's it's sort of almost a [TS]

  jersey squeak when you got me thinking [TS]

  about this many many episodes ago [TS]

  talking about how many have taking and [TS]

  taking them [TS]

  sorry I'm sec you got me thinking about [TS]

  this with the number of people in the [TS]

  South there from you know the British [TS]

  Isles from Scotland right in Ireland and [TS]

  now it's funny I do kind of notice the [TS]

  similarities may be funded to have a [TS]

  language person sit down taking taking [TS]

  sit down with you and not be able to [TS]

  illustrate those similarities i would [TS]

  like to sit with a language person and [TS]

  like taking sit and talk to take and sit [TS]

  with the language person for a long time [TS]

  i would love to talk to a language [TS]

  person and I love language people you [TS]

  know that harder [TS]

  my mother the pedantic people that are [TS]

  out there language people bother me in [TS]

  the least [TS]

  oh yeah the real language people mmm i [TS]

  love language stuff I do too i really [TS]

  like the language stuff i hope my [TS]

  daughter loves words how could she not [TS]

  well I am I don't even know the word [TS]

  probably hyperlink google mega mega [TS]

  lingual look it wasn't nice laminate [TS]

  word for literally never stops talking [TS]

  mondo Mart mondo verbal yeah you know [TS]

  there's not that many things I I don't [TS]

  really care how she turns out by a large [TS]

  but I i hope that she hopes she likes [TS]

  music and how she likes words [TS]

  yeah we got a lot of words going on [TS]

  around here we're trying to get wordy [TS]

  were just kids were d is a worthy little [TS]

  baby and we're trying to you know I one [TS]

  of the things that one of the things [TS]

  that made me who I am because that a [TS]

  pretty young age I think probably like [TS]

  pre memory i realized that [TS]

  yeah they listening was was the secret [TS]

  like listening [TS]

  Oh overhearing adults like listening in [TS]

  on adult conversations was going to be [TS]

  the was going to be where all the real [TS]

  information was exchanged you know and [TS]

  so I was a not an eavesdropper but i [TS]

  would your kid right nobody expects that [TS]

  you know what's going on i would just go [TS]

  sit on somebody's lap and just sit [TS]

  quietly and listen to the adults talk [TS]

  they kind of forget your they're [TS]

  absolutely forget I think they get used [TS]

  to i know this is true for me [TS]

  we're like I think you get so used to [TS]

  kick it with little kids when they hear [TS]

  anything they start remarking on it or [TS]

  they try to change the subject or they [TS]

  wanna cookie or something for little [TS]

  kids around it doesn't say anything they [TS]

  could pick up a lot of information [TS]

  well it worked for me until I was about [TS]

  15 i will just come sit in the room and [TS]

  sit quietly and listen to them and I you [TS]

  know I I knew enough to know that my [TS]

  contribution was not valued my is when [TS]

  they were talking about politics or or [TS]

  economics or something I died [TS]

  don't have any doctor but I would just [TS]

  sit and listen I listened until I [TS]

  listened until I didn't understand and [TS]

  then I listen more and so what I'm [TS]

  trying I'm trying to impart that to my [TS]

  daughter because it's a because it's the [TS]

  core of my understanding of the world [TS]

  right and my little girl right now [TS]

  thinks that heard the first thought that [TS]

  comes into her head is the most [TS]

  important thought that anyone's ever had [TS]

  and we could be you know we could be [TS]

  standing in a house that's on fire [TS]

  talking about exit routes and she would [TS]

  say an orange is like an apple and I [TS]

  think that that you know we should all [TS]

  stop what we're doing and and and [TS]

  appraise the wisdom of that idea so I'm [TS]

  trying to explain to her but basically [TS]

  through through enforcement but she [TS]

  needs to shut up just shut up and listen [TS]

  who but it's for her own good should get [TS]

  a lot more intelligence that was right [TS]

  you just after shall gather more [TS]

  intelligence it's how you gather [TS]

  intelligence refresh shut up i think [TS]

  i've done that with well you know for [TS]

  some reason don't think of Daniel [TS]

  Plainview you know that movie can watch [TS]

  because the music that with a little kid [TS]

  and and whatever Daniel speaks his son [TS]

  listens his son sits there in silence [TS]

  and is clearly listening to everything [TS]

  that he's saying a man that can imagine [TS]

  have a little kid that would just sit [TS]

  there and I certainly think about what [TS]

  you had to say you know that's my dream [TS]

  all i want to do is teach all i want to [TS]

  do a child but right now she is [TS]

  resistant to being educated by me which [TS]

  is why I'm I'm well I'm taking my show [TS]

  on the road [TS]

  who gonna go teach the town it's about [TS]

  something i heard about talk about that [TS]

  yeah I I am i mean i i've said this with [TS]

  em I want to say with Jasper truthfully [TS]

  I you know when I say that my daughter I [TS]

  don't know how to get her into the [TS]

  please and thank you brute but i really [TS]

  believe in the please and thank you root [TS]

  it served me well i learned i think i [TS]

  told you this at a young age it became [TS]

  somewhat obsessed with etiquette [TS]

  uh-huh and you know I was a very lonely [TS]

  kid now would read any reference book [TS]

  that I could put my hands on [TS]

  did you read that Miss Manners now she's [TS]

  a poser but that Miss Manners book that [TS]

  first one she put out that's like that's [TS]

  like six inches fat for me that was Amy [TS]

  Vanderbilt o.a.r Evander bill yeah yeah [TS]

  the week [TS]

  advocate told you this was before I [TS]

  think it's either Amy Vanderbilt or who [TS]

  is the other really famous etiquette [TS]

  person [TS]

  well what's above yeah the other one [TS]

  post Emily Post Emily Post we had a [TS]

  hardcover etiquette book at our house I [TS]

  don't know how my fat it's always [TS]

  interesting to ponder like how anything [TS]

  ended up in your family like sometimes [TS]

  you look back you like what do we have [TS]

  that in our house that's weird [TS]

  and we have this book that was like you [TS]

  say was it seriously was at least like [TS]

  three-and-a-half inches thick [TS]

  hardcover book from the early sixties [TS]

  with illustrations by mr. andy warhol [TS]

  interestingly know I really yeah yeah [TS]

  backgrounds just an illustrator and but [TS]

  i read that thing man [TS]

  I I knew from tiny Forks you know I [TS]

  don't know everything I knew about like [TS]

  you do your IUD your napkin and fold in [TS]

  half for dinner you folded in quarters [TS]

  for lunch and you all this stuff [TS]

  backwards and forwards you know like you [TS]

  I knew how to make a UH Hospital corners [TS]

  on a bed that's right you all this stuff [TS]

  when I was like nine got weird you have [TS]

  to know how to make Hospital corners if [TS]

  you're ever going to learn to [TS]

  short-sheet about see nobody gets their [TS]

  bed short-sheeted anymore and I think [TS]

  something's lost people don't understand [TS]

  education is not a buffet you have to go [TS]

  in and work through the courses you can [TS]

  start with the forks on the outside you [TS]

  move in that education works [TS]

  you understand that reference i can help [TS]

  you looking at my looking at my [TS]

  bookshelf right here next to my desk i [TS]

  have here the there the first four books [TS]

  of the New York Times guide to essential [TS]

  knowledge who which is a 3-inch wide [TS]

  book the second book the and Landers [TS]

  encyclopedia [TS]

  haha whoa is that you need a little [TS]

  guidance is good at index and Landers [TS]

  encyclopedia a to z and this book was [TS]

  published in 1978 cock stone-cutting [TS]

  page 128 a busy as you know up to [TS]

  nineteen seventy-eight the second or the [TS]

  third book is the readers encyclopedia [TS]

  edited by william rose [TS]

  uh what is his name of william rose [TS]

  bennett and then the the fourth book I [TS]

  swear to you my friend is Miss Manners [TS]

  guide to excruciating Lee correct [TS]

  behavior nice [TS]

  and you know Miss Manners sure she she [TS]

  was a she was a you know what just ice [TS]

  and come lately i spoke I spoken [TS]

  advisedly and for that i apologize i've [TS]

  always enjoyed her most on talk shows I [TS]

  thought she was a wonderful talk show [TS]

  guest [TS]

  she's a very witty writer and she makes [TS]

  a proxy to she's pretty foxy and she [TS]

  makes the she makes the etiquette seem a [TS]

  mission its it goes down with this spoon [TS]

  full of sugar and she can but she can be [TS]

  a bitch to and that the game man [TS]

  don't hate the player you know you would [TS]

  think in high school that I would have [TS]

  been sitting around just learning to [TS]

  roll doobies and and flicking my [TS]

  switchblade into a log but in fact you [TS]

  would think i was reading Miss Manners [TS]

  appreciating me correct bigger [TS]

  front-to-back I find those books [TS]

  extremely calming I think I used to [TS]

  really like because it might somewhat [TS]

  turbulent and we're childhood I i think [TS]

  i really enjoyed things like the Brady [TS]

  Bunch as a cultural touchstone and i [TS]

  enjoyed reference books i enjoyed things [TS]

  that showed that there was a gentle [TS]

  order to life [TS]

  yes yeah I really really did I think I [TS]

  still part of me that looks at that [TS]

  doesn't just kind of calculator honestly [TS]

  there's a part of me that says like wow [TS]

  you know ideologies to really work for [TS]

  us well in the sense that like the sense [TS]

  that Miss Manners had which was like oh [TS]

  dear oh my dear did you really just fold [TS]

  your napkin across your did you really [TS]

  just tuck your napkin into your shirt [TS]

  oh oh darling and she could just hear [TS]

  her like gently like and I don't think [TS]

  she would even reach out and take the [TS]

  napkin away herself she would always [TS]

  keep her hands to herself but she would [TS]

  just indicate to you she is the napkin [TS]

  tongue that was provided shape and and [TS]

  the feeling like oh there's a right way [TS]

  there's a right way the wrong way and [TS]

  and like [TS]

  I i was sitting up at a fancy dinner the [TS]

  other day and I had my elbow on the [TS]

  table [TS]

  all I still felt that when i do that [TS]

  stuff and I LT and I felt bad I felt bad [TS]

  and then i realized that i was i was [TS]

  going to keep my elbow there i was going [TS]

  to keep it there knowingly foo and I [TS]

  because because i had a mind to and that [TS]

  if there was you know if there was any [TS]

  rogue at this dinner party who could [TS]

  have a mind to keep his elbow on the [TS]

  table it was gonna be me but you had to [TS]

  know you didn't i mean i had a [TS]

  constellation of of thoughts rolling [TS]

  through my head and that you know that i [TS]

  was somewhat playing the ribbon [TS]

  riverboat captain by putting my elbow up [TS]

  there and leaving it there and that the [TS]

  problem was there was no one else in the [TS]

  room that was even that could even tisk [TS]

  tisk at me so I was making appreciate [TS]

  what a what a subtle key that was for [TS]

  you to make that shits decision to have [TS]

  a mind to put 100 up there [TS]

  no I was your ID as man you know exactly [TS]

  what you're doing exactly i was dying to [TS]

  be tisk tisk by somebody so that i could [TS]

  twirl the end of my mustache and like [TS]

  dip dip my white dinner jacket in the [TS]

  consomm√© but no-one tisk tisk to this [TS]

  is sickening [TS]

  no one knows up there's no one knows no [TS]

  one knows that you're doing that you're [TS]

  sure that you're playing at social [TS]

  social cultural mores no one even knows [TS]

  that anymore [TS]

  you can't even if you can't even respond [TS]

  stuff because nobody nobody knows the [TS]

  tune okay i'm gonna give you and give [TS]

  you two bullets on this and this side I [TS]

  honestly feel that I should feel [TS]

  terrible about having said this bullet [TS]

  number 12 my daughter but it's really [TS]

  true which is first of all the please [TS]

  and thank you think it's such a simple [TS]

  bit of social lubricant and nobody no [TS]

  matter what even if you're being like a [TS]

  a photo civil British person like it's [TS]

  still nice to say please and thank you [TS]

  it's not just call someone sir or ma'am [TS]

  or miss or something that gets really [TS]

  really nice but I've told you the truth [TS]

  I said I said you know Ellie you will [TS]

  get away with so much in life if you can [TS]

  learn to genuinely say please and thank [TS]

  you for things because people if you [TS]

  want something done ask for it as a [TS]

  favor and somebody's much more likely to [TS]

  do it could you please pass me the salt [TS]

  it sounds so much better than give me [TS]

  the salt and really does [TS]

  that's that's I mean and you know I mean [TS]

  truthfully I think it's just something [TS]

  it's going to be a while before she [TS]

  learns that that's just a nice thing to [TS]

  do and that she'll appreciate it too and [TS]

  it but you know honestly you'd get away [TS]

  with a lot but bullet number two this is [TS]

  huge and I did not get this I i was [TS]

  looking through I was like I know you're [TS]

  a Buddhist it was like looking through [TS]

  the text you know I i'm looking for the [TS]

  part about how to lose my ego but not [TS]

  learning that the real point that the [TS]

  brutal Battle my boot of them [TS]

  that's right that's what is that number [TS]

  12 wrong 12 huh [TS]

  I look there get him up there looking [TS]

  back don't talk about bike club that's [TS]

  number 16 there are no harmony but uh [TS]

  this is Africa where i first read this [TS]

  but I promise is one of those things [TS]

  that probably had to read 11 times [TS]

  before really sunk in and this is what [TS]

  makes with Judith Judith manners [TS]

  what's-her-name you know the leading up [TS]

  yeah miss manners but dude Martin cheers [TS]

  me up you're just matters is that you [TS]

  learn that the point of etiquette [TS]

  I'm going to say this slowly and [TS]

  carefully even though I know you know [TS]

  this for our listeners the point of [TS]

  etiquette is not to be fancy [TS]

  it's not to be prescriptive it's not to [TS]

  have a bunch of rules for no reason [TS]

  other than to try and make people feel [TS]

  bad no quite the contrary and take it [TS]

  exists to make true etiquette when you [TS]

  get down to the real like like black [TS]

  diamond level of etiquette [TS]

  it's not about rules it's about doing [TS]

  everything you can to make other people [TS]

  feel comfortable [TS]

  that's right and that's what people [TS]

  don't understand if all they do is read [TS]

  the rules and correct people on whether [TS]

  using the right tertiary lobster fork [TS]

  then they're missing the point the point [TS]

  is not to make somebody feel bad about [TS]

  their fork [TS]

  the point is to now we know that at this [TS]

  point in the meal if we've all read the [TS]

  same book we know which ones that these [TS]

  to use and we we can enjoy this but [TS]

  ultimately it's not making somebody feel [TS]

  welcome and not make it a big deal [TS]

  even you know [TS]

  even if they put a glass in your table [TS]

  is not a coaster like find a way to make [TS]

  them feel at ease about that you can [TS]

  make them feel at ease but you're both [TS]

  trying to make each other feel at ease [TS]

  and that's what etiquette is that it [TS]

  that is the that is the judo of Miss [TS]

  Manners because I was trying to get out [TS]

  of a second ago [TS]

  not only was she not reach out to end [TS]

  and like touch your napkin but she would [TS]

  she would see would somehow make it seem [TS]

  like a your idea and that she that you [TS]

  know that she was there to help you or [TS]

  she was there to the as you're saying [TS]

  make it easier gently got my toward this [TS]

  thing that's very sensible get you a [TS]

  coaster [TS]

  oh let me help you you know she it's a [TS]

  varied it's a very gentle but firm kind [TS]

  of knowledge of the way things are and [TS]

  you're right it's like it's like the [TS]

  rules of language with this debate is [TS]

  happening all the time why why it [TS]

  doesn't language why does an English now [TS]

  just become a free-for-all why why do we [TS]

  follow these archaic grammar and [TS]

  spelling rules wide why don't be [TS]

  everybody just be talking how they like [TS]

  be and you know of course i am on the [TS]

  side of I am on the side like like the [TS]

  members of the french academy i believe [TS]

  that the language evolved just fine [TS]

  right up until the point that i decided [TS]

  that it should stop the who but no i [TS]

  mean i love i love the evolution of [TS]

  English but the core rules [TS]

  I adhere to and I espouse yep and I mean [TS]

  I think we can all anybody you know is [TS]

  done a little bit of book-learning may [TS]

  even been to college will appreciate the [TS]

  fact that the language evolves it always [TS]

  has evolved it will evolve but you know [TS]

  II it let's put it in the simplest way [TS]

  possible [TS]

  it's nice to know the rules before you [TS]

  break them and its really nice to know [TS]

  the rules before you unknowingly break [TS]

  them because all the older I get and the [TS]

  more I don't always speak with precision [TS]

  but when I do speak with precision and [TS]

  helps me think with precision because [TS]

  words mean things and this these five [TS]

  words that people use almost [TS]

  interchangeably really mean different [TS]

  things and the subtlety of the [TS]

  differences in their me [TS]

  thing is really amplified when you use [TS]

  them correctly somebody something that [TS]

  is I think it really does matter it [TS]

  doesn't matter [TS]

  somebody asked me the other day you know [TS]

  i'm somewhat not notorious but it [TS]

  Phyllis naughty not even infamous but [TS]

  there-there water but they don't even [TS]

  think lauded that I there are three to [TS]

  five percent of the words in English [TS]

  that I pretty clearly mispronounced and [TS]

  someone said to me the other day like [TS]

  you always say that word wrong and you [TS]

  know that it's wrong because like other [TS]

  people have surely corrected you why do [TS]

  you do it [TS]

  why do you still say that and so many [TS]

  other words like wrong and I thought [TS]

  about it and I said well I do not prefer [TS]

  the way that everyone else pronounces it [TS]

  and and she said but I mean that's how [TS]

  it's pronounced and I said but I'd I [TS]

  just don't prefer it be something [TS]

  borrowed the equal a little bit at the [TS]

  word she was referring to was the word [TS]

  that everyone I guess agrees is [TS]

  pronounced comely her which I do not [TS]

  prefer i prefer to say calmly she sounds [TS]

  much nicer she's a comb lee young woman [TS]

  comely does not sound like a compliment [TS]

  come way is a disgusting word coldly is [TS]

  a beautiful work and it is not a comely [TS]

  young woman selling the victim of [TS]

  unexpected bukkake that's right a comb [TS]

  lee young woman is the opposite of a [TS]

  homely young woman she's calmly that's [TS]

  good and that it is how I've always [TS]

  preferred it is your prerogative and [TS]

  that's right and so and so when people [TS]

  say comely i flinch a little roux and [TS]

  when I say calmly it usually like around [TS]

  and this is the problem because around [TS]

  the room it takes people a second [TS]

  to figure out what i'm saying let the [TS]

  guys they gotta think a little piglets [TS]

  right that's a little mobile forgive me [TS]

  I made you think a little bit and so my [TS]

  hat there are so many words like that in [TS]

  my like private lexicon that I just [TS]

  mispronounced because my pronunciation [TS]

  is the one I prefer yeah I i can't [TS]

  remember if I invented this probably [TS]

  hurt read this somewhere grudge [TS]

  pronouncing em hard to see you [TS]

  oh you're very good at that I think I [TS]

  care of some things that I will always [TS]

  say a certain way and I'm happy that [TS]

  other people are starting to to pick it [TS]

  up [TS]

  artisanal are saying I don't know it's a [TS]

  artisinal that's just that's that's [TS]

  that's that's disgusting [TS]

  are you saying that it's not artisinal [TS]

  it all baked goods artisinal otherwise [TS]

  it wouldn't be baked goods what was [TS]

  wrong with you know I really you you've [TS]

  hired artisans is that what you did you [TS]

  hired an artisan know you never hire [TS]

  nervous and you know you hired some you [TS]

  got to come in and make your buns [TS]

  you don't know what an artisans there we [TS]

  don't know it feels themselves that's [TS]

  right it's like you can call yourself a [TS]

  poet you can see you're right verse but [TS]

  should never say you write poetry [TS]

  yeah let your teacher let your teacher [TS]

  praised you don't press yourself [TS]

  yes you know what we should write a book [TS]

  John I don't want to make a big deal [TS]

  about it but I'm just saying there's a [TS]

  lot of ways that we can help people but [TS]

  what I don't understand for my as far as [TS]

  i can tell from my whole life i have [TS]

  said saw Squatch that's it that is the [TS]

  received pronunciation that i received [TS]

  sauce one Sasquatch during that during [TS]

  the Bigfoot during the Bigfoot flare-ups [TS]

  in the sounds of the seventies Bigfoot [TS]

  flare-ups that's right there had been [TS]

  Bigfoot's before big feet before [TS]

  sorry bro she might think it's big speed [TS]

  big it's pig's feet justice gentle [TS]

  person [TS]

  Bigfoot's big feets with had been seen [TS]

  historically and then there was a rash [TS]

  there was a rash there was a there was a [TS]

  rash their members and underage boys in [TS]

  search of in search of hundred percent [TS]

  with the Bigfoot screaming in the dark [TS]

  and now the screen out that it was like [TS]

  the Bigfoot Bigfoot that with the blurry [TS]

  footage that's that's in Washington [TS]

  right yeah that's in Washington say we [TS]

  have a lot of Bigfoot here big feets [TS]

  persons [TS]

  and and so I always said sasquatch [TS]

  yeah but apparently somewhere along the [TS]

  line everyone else in the world agreed [TS]

  that it's pronounced Sasquatch which i [TS]

  think is a terrible terrible [TS]

  pronunciation sasquatch [TS]

  it's vulgar Sasquatch comely Sasquatch [TS]

  it's it's a saw Squatch saw Squatch it's [TS]

  not so much prettier [TS]

  isn't that Muhammad delicious soft [TS]

  cheese wouldn't you rather be a [TS]

  Sasquatch of the Sasquatch and what I [TS]

  can [TS]

  what about words were losing like [TS]

  niggardly this very very difficult to [TS]

  get away with niggardly today [TS]

  well yeah the problem is that it that [TS]

  it's a word that it's a great word that [TS]

  so many dummies have have so many [TS]

  dummies have blanched at it that the [TS]

  people in between the non dummies who [TS]

  know what the word means still feel it [TS]

  since India airy because non dummies [TS]

  have made a practice of worrying about [TS]

  what dummies think this is this is the [TS]

  book this is that like half the problem [TS]

  with the modern age they're all these [TS]

  middle these middle non dummies who are [TS]

  who are like walking around on pins and [TS]

  needles because some dummy might [TS]

  misunderstand just to capture as well i [TS]

  think that one appendix in our book is [TS]

  definitely going to be the taxonomy of [TS]

  dummies [TS]

  oh it's going to be like a big pyramid [TS]

  we could go on and on about dummies but [TS]

  it used to be this is the thing [TS]

  middle-middle let's call the middle [TS]

  dummies middle dummies used to aspire to [TS]

  attract the the praise of non dummies [TS]

  and now middle dummies only inspire our [TS]

  middle name is now only act in fear of [TS]

  like a and in fear of the dummies you [TS]

  see what I'm saying I think so yeah I'm [TS]

  not really explaining it very well but [TS]

  it used to be that the middle that the [TS]

  middlebrow aspired to the highbrow and [TS]

  neither one concern themselves at all [TS]

  with the lowbrow but now the lowbrow [TS]

  dominates and the middlebrow is is on [TS]

  pins and needles at the prospect of [TS]

  offending the lowbrow [TS]

  so they did they devote all their energy [TS]

  because you know that because the [TS]

  highbrows out of fashion the highbrow [TS]

  has all these overtures of are all these [TS]

  a like these like native negative [TS]

  connotations of exclusivity and wealth [TS]

  and and privilege that there is a [TS]

  privilege [TS]

  yeah but also warring with the middle [TS]

  dummy middlebrow thinking I kind of want [TS]

  to appear a little fancy made me so I'm [TS]

  when I want using middle-middle would [TS]

  save middle dummies middle brother [TS]

  Tommy's I think of like what's a good [TS]

  example were coming [TS]

  um who shall attend the opening of the [TS]

  rectory [TS]

  yeah whom shall with Margaret and I was [TS]

  like well you got like three problems in [TS]

  that one like there's there's like goes [TS]

  several different things in that [TS]

  sentence that didn't really need to be [TS]

  that way I really feel like home shell [TS]

  would be a great DJ named DJ DJ whom [TS]

  shall yeah lets you know I've never been [TS]

  worried about fancy you know like fancy [TS]

  is this and I think that this goes back [TS]

  to the to what you were talking about [TS]

  before the the great influx of Irish [TS]

  into Appalachia like there's uh there's [TS]

  all this appellation worry about about [TS]

  being too big for your britches this [TS]

  sort of Nashville concern that you not [TS]

  act above your station and that has the [TS]

  the whole class structure that that used [TS]

  to be a part of is gone now and there's [TS]

  just this this residual sort of grease [TS]

  stain in the culture of of uh of of a [TS]

  feeling that that that that lines up [TS]

  with all these other aspects of the [TS]

  culture where the lower the the lower [TS]

  and the cruder is considered more real [TS]

  the more the more vulgar is the reeler [TS]

  oh yeah yeah because it's it's the [TS]

  language of the quote-unquote people is [TS]

  closer to the truth and it's not trying [TS]

  to cover up half-truths with with fancy [TS]

  words right and so that has that has [TS]

  this false friend in a in a kind of like [TS]

  in the humility or the you know that the [TS]

  desire not to be a not to brag or to be [TS]

  sure to put on airs and that the the [TS]

  false friendship with with the idea that [TS]

  vulgarity is closer to truth has [TS]

  produced a culture wide sense that that [TS]

  we should I mean seriously that people [TS]

  should be a flying in their pajamas [TS]

  which is which is as you know that the [TS]

  beginning of the end and I'm speaking [TS]

  now as a as the the human envoy for the [TS]

  UFOs yeah yeah somebody who gets gets [TS]

  out of the shuttle to the airport [TS]

  vehicle with the buckwheat pillow [TS]

  already around the neck you know that's [TS]

  that does not this is not a society that [TS]

  is ready for any kind of serious [TS]

  advancement [TS]

  yeah no not at all because these are [TS]

  people who are who one of these days are [TS]

  going to go through airport security and [TS]

  it's going to that it's going to just [TS]

  direct them right into the Soylent Green [TS]

  grinder [TS]

  I used to think it was just peculiar to [TS]

  this show that you would talk about the [TS]

  airport security locking but I'm [TS]

  starting to think that that whatever [TS]

  comes from the supertrain generation [TS]

  there's going to be something involving [TS]

  something like the TSA line because that [TS]

  seems to me that that is the nexus for [TS]

  everything that drives you crazy about [TS]

  the contract they are tits it's just [TS]

  like it's just like the walgreen [TS]

  situation they're training us they're [TS]

  training us through this gradual [TS]

  increase in indignity to just go into [TS]

  the hopper just go through the the [TS]

  branding cage into the you know they're [TS]

  just feeding us through what one after [TS]

  another and now they're looking at [TS]

  x-rays of us naked and we just we just [TS]

  say okay and then that's great stranding [TS]

  cage and the indignity has become [TS]

  patriotic absolutely and then pretty [TS]

  soon after the after that after the [TS]

  x-ray they're going to have us [TS]

  walkthrough a darkened tunnel [TS]

  just a short dark and Tommy will be able [TS]

  to see the end and then pretty soon it's [TS]

  gonna get a little bit longer that's [TS]

  gonna have a turn it so you can't see [TS]

  the light at the end but it's ok you can [TS]

  trust us like I've got a temple grandin [TS]

  think that we just have to send you [TS]

  through this dark tunnel that has a turn [TS]

  halfway through and then at a certain [TS]

  point the turn is going to get closer so [TS]

  it's you're gonna have to you're gonna [TS]

  have to get through a little like little [TS]

  gate or a little kind of like [TS]

  uncomfortable squeeze in the middle [TS]

  that's right the Patriot tunnel has two [TS]

  let's find that your address the [TS]

  problems with terrorism [TS]

  that's what we have to do and then one [TS]

  day you're going to turn your squeeze [TS]

  through that little gap and turn the [TS]

  corner right into the right into the saw [TS]

  blades don't call it an abattoir that's [TS]

  a little too fancy [TS]

  it's called it's a freedom knife room [TS]

  right into the saw blades I elected to [TS]

  have a pat-down search the other day [TS]

  nice and it was so invasive and and [TS]

  characterized by a kind of like finality [TS]

  like I said alright I'm you know what [TS]

  I'm not going to go through your x-ray [TS]

  machine I'm i gotta i'm on a layover [TS]

  here I got three hours to kill [TS]

  I'm going to see what this i'm going to [TS]

  get the pat-down how do you like them [TS]

  apples right and so the first thing they [TS]

  do is kind of trying to dissuade you [TS]

  like oh it's gonna be a long time so [TS]

  yeah I know it's gonna be a long time [TS]

  like I'm I'm i got all the time in the [TS]

  world [TS]

  you guys put your leather gloves on and [TS]

  let's go and so then they assure you [TS]

  through the little gate and they hold [TS]

  you over on the side while all the other [TS]

  people go by and I'm standing there with [TS]

  a kind of superior look on my face like [TS]

  I got the time [TS]

  let's go through the pat down and then [TS]

  here comes the guy and he's talking to [TS]

  somebody across the room and he puts his [TS]

  puts his plastic gloves on and then he [TS]

  starts giving you a full-on fucking pat [TS]

  down like he doesn't do that date rape [TS]

  the explanation usually do the date-rape [TS]

  the explanation likes or I'm going to be [TS]

  formally touching your generals yeah [TS]

  right i'm gonna run the back of my hand [TS]

  across your anus [TS]

  maybe some of that but I mean like right [TS]

  away they go into your pants now right [TS]

  don't go into your pants a little bit [TS]

  they do and right away I regretted I [TS]

  regretted coming over like this was so [TS]

  much more vulgar then what and then [TS]

  whatever year of my life i'm going to [TS]

  lose by being irritated by a teenager [TS]

  operating a machine made by Halliburton [TS]

  and sold to the government you know 450 [TS]

  times but its list price should be right [TS]

  but this guy you know some dope is just [TS]

  like he's just pressing on me in a way [TS]

  that is transparently unnecessary like [TS]

  honestly I'm you know like I understand [TS]

  that that you have to do it because [TS]

  people could self-select and then be [TS]

  covered with plastic explosives but like [TS]

  this is a that there's a punitive aspect [TS]

  to the way that they do it like it is [TS]

  clearly punishment meant to dissuade you [TS]

  from ever doing this again yeah if the [TS]

  kurt vonnegut alien were to like write a [TS]

  paragraph on what he or she alien was [TS]

  seeing they would basically say that [TS]

  they're there is a system that is in [TS]

  place to make sure that everybody will [TS]

  follow in a necessary rule and anybody [TS]

  who doesn't follow the unnecessary rule [TS]

  will be made uncomfortable in front of [TS]

  other people for not following a [TS]

  necessary role that's what it really [TS]

  looks super super uncomfortable and you [TS]

  know I like spent the rest of the [TS]

  afternoon [TS]

  kind of like a fugitive Edward punitive [TS]

  it's it really it really feels like [TS]

  we're going to make an example of you go [TS]

  away some of your time you know how you [TS]

  can eat this is for me to be so much [TS]

  easier if you just go through the porno [TS]

  scanner but now i'm gonna make this a [TS]

  little uncomfortable for you but not [TS]

  uncomfortable enough that like it's [TS]

  actionable it's going to just be really [TS]

  humiliating for you so I'm traveling [TS]

  with my family of the day and I had [TS]

  encouraged them all to get get the [TS]

  pre-check card back when I believe that [TS]

  there was any value to the pre check on [TS]

  this story on another ship tell this is [TS]

  where you go John has been approved for [TS]

  black diamond lane [TS]

  yeah and we get to the airport and we [TS]

  print out our tickets were all traveling [TS]

  together we're sitting next to each [TS]

  other now [TS]

  there's four of us and two of the people [TS]

  have pre check on the top of their [TS]

  ticket but I and my three-year-old [TS]

  daughter do not have pre-check and so we [TS]

  get to the we get to the woman at the [TS]

  security desk and she points half of our [TS]

  party down the pre-check lane and half [TS]

  of our party into the other leg and I [TS]

  said you know we're all traveling [TS]

  together and she said doesn't matter and [TS]

  I said you know this is a three-year-old [TS]

  girl like do you honestly believe that I [TS]

  would I mean is there a terrorist in the [TS]

  world who would who would take his [TS]

  three-year-old as a as a false as a [TS]

  false flag as a as a beard a bomb beard [TS]

  three-year-old baby that this person has [TS]

  already their mind is already shut off [TS]

  sir I'm gonna get this individual to [TS]

  move out of the pre-check lane now and [TS]

  so you know so right away you're just [TS]

  you're in the hopper and if you make any [TS]

  fuss about it you just it's there's only [TS]

  one option which is that you don't fly [TS]

  today like the police come because [TS]

  either you acquiesce or you don't fly [TS]

  and we get all the way you know what I'm [TS]

  standing there and I'm like taking my [TS]

  belt off and i'm taking my wallet out [TS]

  and I'm just feeling like so much i'm [TS]

  just feeling that that perfect storm of [TS]

  resentment and frustration and Bend [TS]

  powerlessness little bit of resignation [TS]

  well but i can't succumb to resignation [TS]

  that's that is the that is the flaw in [TS]

  me I mean the word the word that comes [TS]

  to mind this is not a word that i use [TS]

  lightly because it the connotations but [TS]

  i think it's it's frankly depressing [TS]

  it makes me depressed it makes me [TS]

  depressed how much clothing I have to [TS]

  take off to go get on a plane and then [TS]

  stand there in and get dressed in front [TS]

  of other people I'm not like a modest [TS]

  person but there's something actually [TS]

  depressing to me that this is this is [TS]

  what it's come to [TS]

  it's deeply depressing and and and it is [TS]

  and he you sit there and you feel like [TS]

  you could not you could not design a [TS]

  system that is more sort of like it's [TS]

  just the lowest level of the basement [TS]

  right you can't complain about it [TS]

  because it's such a low level it's such [TS]

  a like mild shock you can't really [TS]

  enlist I mean even the fact that you and [TS]

  I are devoting this much time to talk [TS]

  about it [TS]

  there will be a certain number of people [TS]

  who roll their eyes and say whatever [TS]

  firstworldproblems whatever [TS]

  yeah people who don't travel yeah wh-who [TS]

  like to say first world problems in [TS]

  response to things that they don't want [TS]

  to think about but like culturally to [TS]

  have arrived at a place where there is [TS]

  no there is no way that you can assure [TS]

  the world you cannot either there are no [TS]

  bona fides right you cannot say can we [TS]

  just accept that I am no threat to [TS]

  everyone like it is not necessary to [TS]

  assume mrs. the thing i guess it is not [TS]

  necessary for a civilized society to [TS]

  assume a priori that every person is a [TS]

  threat until proven otherwise [TS]

  and the and it isn't a one-to-one [TS]

  correlation that either everyone is a [TS]

  threat or we have to we have to target [TS]

  people by race you know and this is the [TS]

  this is the premise that's kind of [TS]

  advanced us like well either everybody [TS]

  has to suffer or weed or or we have to [TS]

  resort to profiling because those are [TS]

  the only two options [TS]

  it's like no those aren't the only two [TS]

  options they really aren't like there [TS]

  are a lot of people of all races colors [TS]

  and creates that are no threat the vast [TS]

  vast majority of the number of people [TS]

  who are threat are such a tiny miniscule [TS]

  percentage percentage of a percentage [TS]

  and that that are only as happy as a [TS]

  people as a civilization that that the [TS]

  only solution to that tiny percentage is [TS]

  that every single person [TS]

  who wants to move about shall be treated [TS]

  shall be debased and treated as a [TS]

  criminal like it was that each person [TS]

  who wants to travel for pleasure or [TS]

  business needs to be mugged by a cop [TS]

  before they could just move you move to [TS]

  the next stage to the next stage of what [TS]

  is going to be a further debasing [TS]

  process like you know now you have been [TS]

  now you have been x-rayed and fingered [TS]

  and now you have to go sit in a broken [TS]

  chair in a fart tube and maybe you'll [TS]

  get half a can of club so that while the [TS]

  plane sits for three hours on the top [TS]

  like like this process is like it speaks [TS]

  to a brokenness in the grand experiment [TS]

  which I am of which I am a vocal [TS]

  proponent of you know the idea that we [TS]

  as human beings are evolving positively [TS]

  and we and culture is evolving [TS]

  positively and we are we are building on [TS]

  what we have made and we are creating [TS]

  that we are working toward a utopia or [TS]

  working toward a betterment of our [TS]

  condition as people and I I've always [TS]

  believed in it and this kind of like [TS]

  like bass police state ism is so [TS]

  antithetical to it and it it is [TS]

  depressing it is humiliating and it is [TS]

  infuriating and I cannot resign myself [TS]

  to it i don't i don't know how to [TS]

  protest [TS]

  which is part of the part of what see [TS]

  Millie ating but I can never just I can [TS]

  never walk up to that security line and [TS]

  just turn into a cow because because I [TS]

  really do feel like there will come a [TS]

  day when they will like when they're [TS]

  going to start hurting a certain [TS]

  percentage of the people over into a [TS]

  dark room and you never see him again [TS]

  totally and it's it's part of the [TS]

  problem is that it's a proxy war [TS]

  I think you need to be very careful in [TS]

  life about how many proxy wars you [TS]

  decide to fight because when you start a [TS]

  proxy war you your you go beyond some [TS]

  kind of in like an initial problem [TS]

  whether that's on a proxy war starts out [TS]

  with a good enough idea which is that [TS]

  there's this thing out there this really [TS]

  really bad thing that happened [TS]

  it's really really bad thing that almost [TS]

  happened and now we're going to put all [TS]

  this stuff in place to make sure that [TS]

  never happens again even though we [TS]

  really know it's never gonna change [TS]

  what's already happened [TS]

  it can try it's already happened but now [TS]

  there's going to be this whole new set [TS]

  of of new I mean how many people who [TS]

  died in a having a department store [TS]

  bombed in the eighties by the IRA really [TS]

  had that strong of an opinion one way or [TS]

  another about how things went with the [TS]

  troubles that's an extreme example but [TS]

  in this instance now you know I mean [TS]

  that the most obvious example being like [TS]

  the underwear bomber the shoe bomber or [TS]

  the whatever bomber [TS]

  I mean our response to something that [TS]

  didn't even work like a bombing tactic [TS]

  that didn't even work that was really [TS]

  implausible to begin with is to not [TS]

  everybody take their shoes or whatever [TS]

  so now we've got this entire force of [TS]

  people who aren't even cops r sub cops [TS]

  are there barely security guards they [TS]

  know it doesn't work [TS]

  this is well-documented they know that [TS]

  all this stuff is theatrical but they [TS]

  have to take extremely seriously and now [TS]

  there they are I you know different [TS]

  screen but perhaps perhaps I think [TS]

  someone understandably they're mad at us [TS]

  if we don't play along because they're [TS]

  just doing their job [TS]

  we're trying to do our job just being [TS]

  normal people but now that proxy war is [TS]

  is it's taking on this just the basic [TS]

  dignity of being just a normal American [TS]

  who can move freely and trying to as you [TS]

  say put us through this little this [TS]

  little sluice of indignity to make us [TS]

  kind of kowtow to this the basic concept [TS]

  that we are being protected by doing [TS]

  this and we are not being protected by [TS]

  doing that now that's that's the that's [TS]

  the really galling part of this if you [TS]

  honestly thought there's 2,500 people in [TS]

  this line right now and we know that one [TS]

  of them has explosives in their ass [TS]

  by all means why would say maybe just [TS]

  cancel the flight if you know that I [TS]

  don't really know that but you really [TS]

  going to search everybody's ass for a [TS]

  balloon full of explosives [TS]

  no because you know it's all bullshit [TS]

  you know that none of that stuff is true [TS]

  and it is about more than just [TS]

  firstworldproblems it's about this is a [TS]

  country where you used to be able to [TS]

  move freely and be able to to do stuff [TS]

  now you show up on lists and you don't [TS]

  know why and you can take it off the [TS]

  list but the proximal part I think [TS]

  becomes important because now like every [TS]

  kind of proxy war that you start out by [TS]

  salt non non solving a problem or a [TS]

  non-problem and now on top of that [TS]

  you've got all of these new problems as [TS]

  a result of that [TS]

  well the primary new problem is I i [TS]

  cannot be alone in in traveling through [TS]

  airports and basically thinking the [TS]

  entire time about all the different ways [TS]

  i would i get all the different ways I [TS]

  could sneak a bomb through here if I [TS]

  really wanted to that that's that was [TS]

  just that was just going to say this is [TS]

  this to me became extremely icy this now [TS]

  probably one of the three times the [TS]

  travel i see this exact same thing [TS]

  happening each time it blows me away is [TS]

  that you'll be standing there and [TS]

  watching people you know seeing little [TS]

  kids get search for bombs and then [TS]

  somebody pushing a what i would estimate [TS]

  to be probably a 100 gallon garbage pail [TS]

  on Wheels is waived through yeah because [TS]

  they're an employee now they have a pass [TS]

  and they've been checked and stuff yeah [TS]

  so somebody making ten dollars and fifty [TS]

  cents an hour gets gets wave through [TS]

  it's not a question of class it's a [TS]

  question of just read one fucking spy [TS]

  novel and figure out how you would do it [TS]

  you know what you would do you go to [TS]

  just go to pilot and have them do it [TS]

  it's not gonna be it's not gonna be the [TS]

  old lady with the medicine and the [TS]

  gallon of water who doesn't understand [TS]

  the 3-ounce rule [TS]

  yeah anyway I everybody's like the last [TS]

  or exactly but that but then that that's [TS]

  what you have these knock-on effects [TS]

  proxy wars maybe not the best term for [TS]

  it but I think when you when you try to [TS]

  have these little of the dramatis [TS]

  persona of people who are trying to have [TS]

  a life play out these little political [TS]

  plays and then act you know we're not [TS]

  supposed to act like we know anything's [TS]

  fucked up about it [TS]

  I mean how can [TS]

  an intelligent person do that for ten [TS]

  years and feel great about it and feel [TS]

  really proud [TS]

  well I the thing that concerns me is [TS]

  that something i really do feel this way [TS]

  something has been lost in in the course [TS]

  and just the span of my adult life where [TS]

  the where the idea of a of living by [TS]

  example has as almost like completely [TS]

  gone awry in our culture and has been [TS]

  replaced by this like this cultural war [TS]

  of that that's that's happening in a [TS]

  thousand different ways that don't need [TS]

  to be detailed but but the the the idea [TS]

  the idea that that at as the United [TS]

  States in our role in in what we used to [TS]

  think of as our role as like the [TS]

  aspirational nation where no matter [TS]

  where you lived in the world right you [TS]

  would aspire to come to America to live [TS]

  free and have opportunity we should that [TS]

  impossible things can happen and it [TS]

  could be sustained at scale [TS]

  yeah and possible things and all the [TS]

  criticisms of that that America's wealth [TS]

  is a result of exploitation of a nun [TS]

  exploited country that we stole from [TS]

  people and center etc etc all those [TS]

  taken in and and you know like accepted [TS]

  and assumed as valid criticisms still [TS]

  the United States as a democratic [TS]

  experiment was for a very long time the [TS]

  place where human ideas taken from all [TS]

  around the world were sort of put into [TS]

  practice like let us try these ideas and [TS]

  there are there are innumerable ways [TS]

  that there were secret societies and [TS]

  that the whole thing was just a CIA you [TS]

  know like a fake radio station the [TS]

  entire time etc etc but in but in actual [TS]

  fact like the human experience the human [TS]

  experiment [TS]

  was and is still being played out in [TS]

  America better than anywhere else and [TS]

  more on a greater scale and with like [TS]

  with more factors right there's no other [TS]

  place in the world that has as many [TS]

  people of different races cultures and [TS]

  creeds who all trying to come to a [TS]

  consensus live according to common rules [TS]

  and end with a system that allows those [TS]

  rules to evolve in real time to reflect [TS]

  new ideas and new cultures coming in you [TS]

  know there's that the the rules in [TS]

  america are so much different than they [TS]

  were 20 years ago and for the better [TS]

  because of the influx of all these new [TS]

  ideas and we are like uniquely flexible [TS]

  to assimilate all these different new [TS]

  concepts and and a lot of that [TS]

  flexibility is because of our diversity [TS]

  but something is something is lost now [TS]

  that we are not we are no longer leading [TS]

  by example in terms of assuming like [TS]

  taking acceptable risks that yes people [TS]

  are gonna get hurt that yes it is messy [TS]

  that yes every once in a while every [TS]

  once in a while somebody is going to [TS]

  sneak through with an underwear bomb you [TS]

  know in all in all frankness because you [TS]

  cannot eliminate all crazies you know [TS]

  you cannot you cannot stop all predators [TS]

  and it's crazy to try and so somewhere [TS]

  somewhere on the scale the the practice [TS]

  of of democracy and the practice of [TS]

  freedom has to look like it you know it [TS]

  has to this is my this is my beef with [TS]

  washington DC right now you remember [TS]

  going to washington DC when you were a [TS]

  kid he walked right up you driving down [TS]

  Pennsylvania Avenue standing on the [TS]

  sidewalk get your picture taken in front [TS]

  of the White House it was fun it was [TS]

  open and democratic looking [TS]

  you know the President of the United [TS]

  States lives right there in that house [TS]

  yeah with glass windows yeah and yes [TS]

  there's a fence because he doesn't want [TS]

  people playing frisbee on the lawn but [TS]

  that fence is like just offense and yes [TS]

  there are security people but you don't [TS]

  see them and this is the end and there's [TS]

  the capital where were all the [TS]

  government is he like it's all right [TS]

  here laid out in this beautiful city [TS]

  it's not it's not deep inside a a player [TS]

  yea even even if there are bonkers but [TS]

  but the appearance of of america was [TS]

  like very appealing and very open and [TS]

  that was intentional even even as we [TS]

  were fighting wars and into China on the [TS]

  sly but now you go to Washington DC and [TS]

  it looks like an armed camp everywhere [TS]

  you go there are black SUVs full of [TS]

  black-clad machine gun carrying secret [TS]

  service and land park police and fifty [TS]

  different kinds of cop the entire area [TS]

  around the White House is barricaded [TS]

  with tank traps [TS]

  I mean seriously like tank traps and [TS]

  black hawk helicopters are flying over [TS]

  the city at all times and again it is as [TS]

  you're saying complete security theater [TS]

  but it's one hundred percent the wrong [TS]

  impulse that isn't the theater that we [TS]

  need to be playing our theater needs to [TS]

  be the theater of confidence and and [TS]

  calm right and to play this theater of [TS]

  like of of a security state is it's [TS]

  deeply anti-american it is profoundly [TS]

  anti-democratic and like fills me with [TS]

  rage because it's an insult that I think [TS]

  your borders on treason an insult to the [TS]

  idea of America and that the thing that [TS]

  I love about America and the America [TS]

  that I would die to defend you know and [TS]

  I and and [TS]

  all of the like Eagle tattoos and [TS]

  freedom chance or whatever are our [TS]

  garbage jingoism if you can't walk down [TS]

  the street in washington DC without [TS]

  feeling threatened by our own police if [TS]

  you can't fly from seattle to san [TS]

  francisco without feeling like you are [TS]

  not just under surveillance but like [TS]

  presumed guilty right can demonstrate [TS]

  demonstrate test that you're not a [TS]

  threat it's true it's that it is that [TS]

  it's antithetical to the American Way [TS]

  and end into the american way that [TS]

  existed all the way through the Reagan [TS]

  years all the way really through the [TS]

  Clinton years and again I hear the [TS]

  chorus of of finger waggers who want to [TS]

  tell me all about the secret secret like [TS]

  behind-the-scenes governments and all [TS]

  that but I'm talking about the [TS]

  appearance the the temperature on the [TS]

  street the feeling that America had that [TS]

  other places didn't you know if you got [TS]

  off the subway in berlin in 1987 yes [TS]

  there were there were armed police [TS]

  standing around because the presumption [TS]

  then was that there were a million [TS]

  Soviets on the other side of the fence [TS]

  but in America there were not tank traps [TS]

  around the White House you know if the [TS]

  tanks get that far [TS]

  he didn't hear and I know that the tank [TS]

  traps are there to keep to keep Timothy [TS]

  make V and his freightliner van truth [TS]

  from getting up close enough to the [TS]

  White House to like break the windows [TS]

  but but it's a you know they're there is [TS]

  a way to close pennsylvania avenue and [TS]

  decorate it with flowers you know there [TS]

  are ways to do these things and make it [TS]

  not appear that you are that you're [TS]

  playing a video game [TS]

  it seems like it's such a dick cheney [TS]

  move it is it is and that's what I [TS]

  because that's what I think his legacy [TS]

  that then some ways like one of his many [TS]

  wonderful legacies for this country is [TS]

  going to be shit like that [TS]

  just you know that the entire theatrical [TS]

  thing that is going to keep you know [TS]

  will pretty much any c- attacker from [TS]

  really doing anything to us what you [TS]

  remember that scene in California a few [TS]

  years ago where those two bank robbers [TS]

  had machine guns and they walked down [TS]

  the street some supposedly with impunity [TS]

  just firing their machine guns all [TS]

  around and the cops the the story that [TS]

  the cops told you have enough firepower [TS]

  day when Carly outgun yeah and and like [TS]

  2,000 cops were outgunned by one guy and [TS]

  a machine gun and his friend driving a [TS]

  car and so the the response from law [TS]

  enforcement nationwide to that was [TS]

  listen the bad guys have these really [TS]

  powerful guns and so we need to we need [TS]

  to Double Down we need to militarize [TS]

  because there are these these bad guys [TS]

  with guns now look through the history [TS]

  of America there have always been bad [TS]

  guys with guns they have always had as [TS]

  as modern a gun as you could have right [TS]

  i mean the sniper in the clock tower in [TS]

  austin back in the sixties was a Marine [TS]

  sniper with a sniper rifle just shooting [TS]

  at students like its it was never a [TS]

  question of firepower but because this [TS]

  guy's gotta gotta automatic or [TS]

  semi-automatic weapon you felt it [TS]

  immediately like all of a sudden the [TS]

  cops wearing black fatigues everywhere [TS]

  and they're driving around in in SUV's [TS]

  with blacked out windows and the police [TS]

  have always wanted that but there were [TS]

  civilian checks on that kind of thing [TS]

  like the civilian population said in [TS]

  general we don't want the police driving [TS]

  around in tanks looking like just stop [TS]

  oh it's not what we want we want police [TS]

  walking swinging their billy clubs and [TS]

  harassing teenagers but sitting in soda [TS]

  fountains and we you know we like we [TS]

  want the police to be to protect us to [TS]

  look like they protect us to look like [TS]

  members of the community and in the last [TS]

  15 years [TS]

  the police have have through the this [TS]

  sort of hero-worshipping cult and the [TS]

  the general militarizing of the United [TS]

  States now everywhere you look the cops [TS]

  have their have combat boots on their [TS]

  pants are bloused they're carrying like [TS]

  sometimes three guns and they look like [TS]

  paratroopers and particularly at any [TS]

  kind of big gathering all of a sudden [TS]

  they even the cops that are in normal [TS]

  uniforms run home and get their [TS]

  paratrooper outfits on and what and what [TS]

  kind of job you dressing for at that [TS]

  point exactly what you're my kid is lost [TS]

  in a department store or something or [TS]

  something something happens in like [TS]

  somebody has to go up and ask for help [TS]

  with something you are now walking up to [TS]

  somebody in paramilitary gear with three [TS]

  guns like what is that person's job [TS]

  what is their job and what do they think [TS]

  their job if you saw you if you spent 25 [TS]

  years of your life walking with three [TS]

  guns and body armor all the time you're [TS]

  not going to think of yourself as a [TS]

  community police office that's exactly [TS]

  the right of yourself basically is Army [TS]

  Reserve and if you if you are coming to [TS]

  a peaceful gathering in your town in the [TS]

  town square and you show up and there [TS]

  are a line of cops dress like army [TS]

  rangers on night patrol do you go to [TS]

  them for help if you if you lose your [TS]

  wallet or do you mean do you like stand [TS]

  on the other side of the square and I [TS]

  them warily like not take it a step [TS]

  further for that matter if you think [TS]

  something is kind of odd or something [TS]

  you know you want to make a note about [TS]

  to somebody i'm usually something you [TS]

  want to say something [TS]

  well kind of but I mean yet obviously [TS]

  obviously if you find this terrorist [TS]

  that you have to tell them about it but [TS]

  just something as simple as like I would [TS]

  be I would be it seems to be inadvisable [TS]

  to go to to go to that particular arm of [TS]

  law enforcement anything but like a [TS]

  desire for deadly enforcement i mean [TS]

  that that that you know the the finer [TS]

  tools are not going to get used nearly [TS]

  as much as like pepper spraying three [TS]

  guns [TS]

  that's exactly right like that like [TS]

  these are not police who are who are [TS]

  projecting that they are helpful or that [TS]

  they are kind or the day are thoughtful [TS]

  or considerate you know the area that [TS]

  they even human [TS]

  they basically they likes nitin [TS]

  stormtroopers a loaded term but in a [TS]

  sense of being like an anonymous [TS]

  enforcer of some kind of in order that [TS]

  you never even heard right so fast [TS]

  forward a couple years from now where [TS]

  the technology to have one in three of [TS]

  those people be a robot but that you [TS]

  mean we really are like like like [TS]

  somebody's i read on Twitter the other [TS]

  day that somebody's I thought really [TS]

  really smart comment that people are [TS]

  always bitching that we were promised [TS]

  flying cars but if you were born anytime [TS]

  after nineteen seventy what you are [TS]

  really promised by science fiction was a [TS]

  dystopian police state and in fact II [TS]

  the price of the promises of science [TS]

  fiction are coming true so quit your [TS]

  bitching and it was it was a very clever [TS]

  tween but also like it really resonated [TS]

  with me like oh right [TS]

  if you were born in nineteen thirty [TS]

  maybe you were promised flying cars they [TS]

  are like a house of the future yeah [TS]

  right like this lesson kinda like [TS]

  high-tech leisure that was all like [TS]

  World's Fair 1962 popular science kind [TS]

  of stuff and by the time 1980 came [TS]

  around science fiction was just like oh [TS]

  yes it's going to be a cesspool ruled [TS]

  from on high by robots and either you [TS]

  are either you're living in a space pod [TS]

  you're needed here living on Elysium or [TS]

  you're not you know and and I feel like [TS]

  the the the solution [TS]

  you know we have to start now and we [TS]

  have to start now by not resigning [TS]

  ourselves to to these minor indignities [TS]

  up on behalf of the TSA like it is [TS]

  possible to roll back the police state [TS]

  mentality [TS]

  but it requires that we have that we [TS]

  resume a mentality that like cultural [TS]

  wide agriculture wide a mentality that [TS]

  that favors peace and tranquility and [TS]

  consensus over divisive pneus [TS]

  and-and-and in a way that means that our [TS]

  hyper hyper worship of individuality [TS]

  needs to be somewhat tempered you know [TS]

  the idea that every single person has a [TS]

  right to whatever their to whatever [TS]

  myriad like bullet points they can come [TS]

  up with to describe their own individual [TS]

  identity like that premise that each [TS]

  person's individual identity identity is [TS]

  it is a is a status rather than that we [TS]

  each are that our status is derived [TS]

  through the like the the welfare of the [TS]

  group you know that no one of us has a [TS]

  status greater than another if the [TS]

  lowest part or if any if any quadrant of [TS]

  the group is not like well cared for [TS]

  then we all lose status and that is a [TS]

  then we all lose status and that is a [TS]

  that's a lost art and it it was never [TS]

  articulated before because it was [TS]

  presumed in a lot of ways and on all [TS]

  sides now every single person has every [TS]

  single person in America it has this [TS]

  kind of strange combination of like [TS]

  Appalachian frat boy like rebel status [TS]

  you know what I mean every single person [TS]

  is a rebel now and if everyone's a rebel [TS]

  there will never be any peace we all we [TS]

  deserve to live in a police state [TS]

  because we're all rebels all the time [TS]

  and I'm stealing cultural pop-culture [TS]

  rebels or you mean like like a going to [TS]

  the compound kind of rebels [TS]

  I mean I mean we easily been talking [TS]

  about like like just coming up with the [TS]

  multi-purpose artisanal entitlement what [TS]

  one person at a time i mean it when you [TS]

  think about it the one thing that [TS]

  unifies a like a newly out trans sex [TS]

  worker and a Alabama frat-boy investment [TS]

  banker deacon in his church the the the [TS]

  one thing that unifies them is that [TS]

  neither one of them is going to let [TS]

  anybody tell them what to do [TS]

  neither one of them is going to let [TS]

  anybody define them right and culturally [TS]

  now we that this dominates our [TS]

  conversation on every side of the [TS]

  political spectrum [TS]

  nobody's going to tell me who I am or [TS]

  what I can do and I can be anybody I [TS]

  want to be and you're you're not the [TS]

  boss of me like that's the that is the [TS]

  American consensus now and it is dull [TS]

  it's dull and Italy it leads us down [TS]

  this path where we are children and so [TS]

  the cops are doing what comes natural to [TS]

  them which is we need more guns we need [TS]

  more Thor tie so that's the cops that's [TS]

  what they will always do its what [TS]

  they've always done right but there's no [TS]

  one to stop them now they're never going [TS]

  to say you know what you have two [TS]

  minutes [TS]

  it's not the cops job to say we need to [TS]

  have a more civil society and when so as [TS]

  police we're gonna we're going to [TS]

  accomplish that by putting our guns away [TS]

  like the cops are never gonna do that [TS]

  right that has to come from that has to [TS]

  come from well and it has to come from a [TS]

  new a new coalition of people from all [TS]

  walks of life who say no my you know my [TS]

  individuality does not take precedence [TS]

  you can tell me what to do i will i do [TS]

  agree that although this law does not [TS]

  seem to apply directly to me although i [TS]

  don't have any kids and I am being taxed [TS]

  for the public schools [TS]

  I'm gonna just I'm just gonna I'm not [TS]

  I'm not [TS]

  it's not that I'm gonna just give stop [TS]

  complaining about my taxes to the public [TS]

  schools i'm going to group i'm going to [TS]

  gratefully give my tax money to the [TS]

  public schools to educate my neighbor's [TS]

  kids because that's how you make [TS]

  better world 20 years from now and no [TS]

  one's preaching that anymore you know [TS]

  that I think that used to come from that [TS]

  used to come from the youth from the [TS]

  church's it used to come from the from [TS]

  the from just this your your your normal [TS]

  sense of community it wasn't a thing you [TS]

  could even reasonably argue it was just [TS]

  the john birch society and the wingnuts [TS]

  way way out there would ever argue that [TS]

  we shouldn't be taxed for public schools [TS]

  I I guess I just feel like the the stuff [TS]

  the stuff that involves me and all this [TS]

  there's there's a you know it's always [TS]

  the the boogeymen of the various [TS]

  dystopian futures that we call out and [TS]

  worried about but there's something like [TS]

  particularly enduring about Kafka to me [TS]

  because in a cough go [TS]

  navalur Kafka story it's the the part [TS]

  that's the most disturbing as you don't [TS]

  know why it's happening that that's the [TS]

  thing that's the thing that really gets [TS]

  me so I take your point in particular [TS]

  about things like the police that's [TS]

  their job right i mean the police are [TS]

  always going to want things that make it [TS]

  easier or less difficult to do police [TS]

  work the people who gather intelligence [TS]

  are always going to want everything they [TS]

  need to make it less difficult to gather [TS]

  intelligence is never going to be a day [TS]

  when they say you know what we really [TS]

  need all these phone records the part [TS]

  the part that I find so troubling and [TS]

  the part that I think is going to lead [TS]

  to more and more credibility problems at [TS]

  various many many different levels is [TS]

  that this whole like well this is just [TS]

  how it is that that's the dick cheney [TS]

  this of it you know is the like is like [TS]

  wait no wait a minute wait a minute no [TS]

  I've got photos here of what cops look [TS]

  like 20 years ago I got photos now what [TS]

  they look like now there's still [TS]

  probably real good people but I can't [TS]

  tell because they're wear masks and [TS]

  right here [TS]

  why is that and when do we get to is [TS]

  that just how it's gonna be now and and [TS]

  why is it why is it that this person got [TS]

  picked out of line and not that person [TS]

  why is it suddenly I mean it's just so [TS]

  much opacity to this all-consuming need [TS]

  to control all things that I i mean i [TS]

  don't have a prediction on what that's [TS]

  going to lead to like a revolution or [TS]

  something but i think it's certainly [TS]

  hurts the credibility of of anybody [TS]

  who's trying to do something good in [TS]

  government [TS]

  is when you increasingly say things like [TS]

  you know you you can't fly and I can't [TS]

  even tell you whether you are on a list [TS]

  and what you can or can't you do about [TS]

  it i'm not even having this conversation [TS]

  with you right now that's that then that [TS]

  to me that's why kafka kafka ask [TS]

  component of this is what makes it so [TS]

  deeply troubling it's one thing to say [TS]

  like okay there's a real bad guy [TS]

  there's this classic villain who's doing [TS]

  all this bad stuff to that but I don't [TS]

  get that feeling at all it's more like [TS]

  again though whatever the hunterian like [TS]

  finality of evil thing it's just a bunch [TS]

  of people doing their fucking job [TS]

  it's their job is to create more and [TS]

  more opacity about this non solution to [TS]

  what's increasingly starting to seem [TS]

  like an unsolvable problem what's the [TS]

  problem the problem is security [TS]

  what was that mean yeah like what I mean [TS]

  how much further do we have to go [TS]

  I mean how much further will we go in [TS]

  these directions where things just keep [TS]

  getting weirder and like the more that [TS]

  we asked questions about the more the [TS]

  more suspicious that we've seen and then [TS]

  i'm not i'm not a wing night i'm not out [TS]

  here saying like I don't even have a [TS]

  conspiracy theory i just don't [TS]

  understand how how you can be a reason [TS]

  member of a democratic society when [TS]

  you're just not allowed to have basic [TS]

  information about why things are [TS]

  operating the way they're operating and [TS]

  that what what's what's terrifying or [TS]

  what is what is so dispiriting is when [TS]

  Obama was running for election the first [TS]

  time all this stuff was true it was all [TS]

  happening all around us [TS]

  i mean the the fact that that the [TS]

  Department of Homeland Security is even [TS]

  called that like it was I thought that [TS]

  it was the I thought it was the broadest [TS]

  parody in the world until I realized [TS]

  they were serious yes like homeland [TS]

  security [TS]

  it's as not see a thing you could say [TS]

  anything he just it's like father llegan [TS]

  honesty file and got crossed off [TS]

  fatherland security is exactly what it [TS]

  is and so so but we've accepted that we [TS]

  don't even say Homeland Security with a [TS]

  sneer anymore but what Obama was running [TS]

  he was really selling it to us that it [TS]

  was time for a change and I mean [TS]

  obviously that was his slogan but also [TS]

  like you [TS]

  yes it is time for the left and the [TS]

  left's traditional relationship to the [TS]

  cops and to the army to step in here and [TS]

  we need to we need to cleanse our [TS]

  palates we need to have a juice fast [TS]

  nationwide juice fast and we are going [TS]

  to poop out some hard and fecal matter [TS]

  and we're going to come out the other [TS]

  side and we are going to demilitarize [TS]

  really was a big part of his message and [TS]

  closing Guantanamo and all the other [TS]

  like restoring the rule of law actually [TS]

  one point say that he was going to have [TS]

  the most open administration [TS]

  yeah it wasn't an actual words that came [TS]

  out of his mouth that they were with me [TS]

  and even as the the number of these like [TS]

  National Security Letters has gone off [TS]

  the charts and the numbers are just not [TS]

  not adding up [TS]

  well and the tenant it isn't just that [TS]

  but like he did he he he eliminated not [TS]

  a single thing and so when you look now [TS]

  at at at without that the past six years [TS]

  and you realize that obama and his [TS]

  administration have us have accepted all [TS]

  of those george bush era like [TS]

  militarization as fait accompli you you [TS]

  know that a Hillary Clinton [TS]

  administration is not going back is not [TS]

  going back any of that stuff off either [TS]

  like she she has to appear to be as [TS]

  hawkish as the most hawkish Democrat [TS]

  because she you know to the [TS]

  traditionally that would be the number [TS]

  one attack you would make on a on a [TS]

  female president is that she's not tough [TS]

  enough you know she's not going to roll [TS]

  back any of these security platforms so [TS]

  what you what you could have come to is [TS]

  that really the Democratic Party the [TS]

  left the left choice in America is now [TS]

  as invested in a police state as the [TS]

  right and it isn't it isn't working [TS]

  anymore they're really does need to be a [TS]

  new conversation where we start with the [TS]

  premise that we are not at we are not at [TS]

  in constant war will instruct the [TS]

  premise that this guy's this is fucked [TS]

  up [TS]

  it's just that it doesn't feel like [TS]

  there's any everybody seems to be kind [TS]

  of grimly nodding along about this [TS]

  horrible situation that nobody likes but [TS]

  we have to deal with and I just don't [TS]

  feel like there's been like a collective [TS]

  exhaling where everybody goes you know [TS]

  what this is fucked up right [TS]

  we need that we need to we need to get a [TS]

  couple things we need to get our mind [TS]

  right about a few things [TS]

  yeah we don't want to be we don't want [TS]

  to be dummies we don't want to get [TS]

  attacked like because of carelessness [TS]

  but like our AO but I mean how much [TS]

  longer can we keep moving in this [TS]

  particular direction and you know just [TS]

  close your eyes and think of England you [TS]

  know it's like there's something's got [TS]

  to happen we just go look at its fucked [TS]

  up the exhale [TS]

  yeah i mean III don't know what that [TS]

  looks like and is a fucking hate [TS]

  politics knowledge but i don't know i [TS]

  don't know what I don't know what the [TS]

  what what kind of solution you can have [TS]

  because that that's a conversation [TS]

  nobody wants to have nobody wants to be [TS]

  the one who stick their head up [TS]

  especially to try to get into office [TS]

  everyone's just like you say nobody [TS]

  wants to stick their hand up and go you [TS]

  know what this is this is pretty fucked [TS]

  up [TS]

  well and what it was having a week isn't [TS]

  here the other thing that John is like [TS]

  we can't even really know how much [TS]

  terrorism has been stopped because then [TS]

  that would be alright secure them to let [TS]

  us know what's actually happened [TS]

  yeah I would it would be dangerous [TS]

  because not every third person walking [TS]

  through an airport is thinking now if I [TS]

  had a coke if I let's see if I had three [TS]

  shampoo bottles that were full of the [TS]

  three components that make plastic [TS]

  explosives and my friend had three [TS]

  shampoo bottles like how many terrorist [TS]

  plots have been foiled like okay let's [TS]

  assume all of them or I mean it's it is [TS]

  irrelevant ultimately to the to the [TS]

  question of and this is the this is the [TS]

  question of automating armies you know [TS]

  and this was the problem with the [TS]

  invasion of afghanistan in the first [TS]

  place before we even invaded Iraq there [TS]

  was from Rumsfeld [TS]

  this like a hard-on for technology where [TS]

  he felt like he wasn't going to have to [TS]

  put American lives at risk in order that [TS]

  it was going to be thought it was kinda [TS]

  thinking in it seems like he thought it [TS]

  was going to be basically like the [TS]

  Allies rolling through Europe in World [TS]

  War two but with like space lasers [TS]

  Spacely dragon and give us flowers and [TS]

  there are the Americans little American [TS]

  flags being waived and our guys would [TS]

  have the big bubble helmets on and walk [TS]

  around space lasers space lasers and [TS]

  maybe talking to each other on heads-up [TS]

  displays and the Taliban would lay down [TS]

  their guns or their sharpened sticks or [TS]

  whatever it was that he thought they had [TS]

  and we would be greeted in Afghanistan [TS]

  like liberators and conquering dollars [TS]

  finally the Americans are here because [TS]

  everybody knows in Afghanistan and [TS]

  Pakistan traditionally they welcomed [TS]

  invaders and yeah but that but the idea [TS]

  and and the military keeps moving in [TS]

  this direction like it would be good for [TS]

  business is an American invasion you [TS]

  know you know what people love ya [TS]

  they love to see American invaders [TS]

  particularly robot engagement i can [TS]

  actually see their faces but I bet their [TS]

  nights but like with their the the [TS]

  military's talking about this like a [TS]

  one-in-three one in four soldiers now [TS]

  being a robot in the next 20 years a [TS]

  serious [TS]

  oh yeah this is this is their new this [TS]

  is that this is the big position paper [TS]

  now that the and a big part of that is [TS]

  like to be the support staff can be to [TS]

  be replaced with robots oh no not drone [TS]

  planes but like drawing people from [TS]

  people absolutely about copy like more [TS]

  like a drone vehicle that yes vehicle [TS]

  person but it would be a situation where [TS]

  they could reduce the living humans that [TS]

  was that constituted a brigade and still [TS]

  have a brigade strength who of force [TS]

  because they would replace the humans [TS]

  that they're taking out with robot [TS]

  helpers and you know and then robot [TS]

  friends and then yeah robots you know [TS]

  first row first the robot cooks yeah and [TS]

  then the robot ninjas [TS]

  ok maybe yeah maybe maybe they could use [TS]

  like farm equipment they could kill two [TS]

  birds with one stone given maybe they [TS]

  can have robot farm soldiers well even [TS]

  with it will be a grenade thrower and [TS]

  then he'll be pulling a plow [TS]

  yeah or maybe he could help pull out [TS]

  some you know some of the natural [TS]

  resources get out some of those metals [TS]

  right it looks like super training also [TS]

  digging diamonds it's a little bit of a [TS]

  military diamond taking soldier bot [TS]

  yeah but but what that person with that [TS]

  presumes is that whatever foreign policy [TS]

  work were trying to effect is not worth [TS]

  in american life and if and if we can [TS]

  remove American lives from the equation [TS]

  then we no longer have a problem at home [TS]

  because we no longer have moms on the TV [TS]

  crying about their dead is interesting [TS]

  and if we if we are no longer losing [TS]

  soldiers and if robots are cheaper than [TS]

  soldiers and they are then it's not it's [TS]

  not like we would never reduce the [TS]

  defense budget we would just have more [TS]

  and more soldiers more and more robot [TS]

  soldiers and with with less and less [TS]

  political cost less and less investment [TS]

  and how much much lower threshold of of [TS]

  engagement like already we are bombing [TS]

  people from drones and that and despite [TS]

  you know we have a we have a listener on [TS]

  the line who is a drone pilot were you [TS]

  aware of that really talking about that [TS]

  yeah and he has a BS very strong [TS]

  feelings that the drone program is [TS]

  ethical and that you know under tight [TS]

  control and is a you know is a service [TS]

  to our country and he he's written a [TS]

  book about it that he sent me and it's a [TS]

  very interesting book but this the [TS]

  standard the ethical standard for what [TS]

  it takes now 44 American technology to [TS]

  kill somebody [TS]

  i mean it's it's been on the on the way [TS]

  for a long time but but and it away [TS]

  carpet bombing [TS]

  car bombing a city from 50,000 feet and [TS]

  like drone attacking somebody in the [TS]

  desert of Yemen that there's not a you [TS]

  know you can't really make a case that [TS]

  carpet bombing is any more discreet [TS]

  certainly but you know we're right up [TS]

  against the Monroe Doctrine here you [TS]

  know we r we r do we are essentially [TS]

  assassinating heads of state of non [TS]

  states in in in contravention of like [TS]

  our own law and and what we are and what [TS]

  we're trying to do is eliminate our [TS]

  investment in the sense of if we can [TS]

  take our soldiers out if we can take our [TS]

  human cost away and this is true of the [TS]

  it in the police to like they are not [TS]

  willing to put a policeman in a [TS]

  situation where he might get injured [TS]

  because it looks bad and it feels bad [TS]

  and so in order to keep the policeman [TS]

  safe they militarized them to the point [TS]

  that we are now facing a wall of [TS]

  black-faced like armored cops and every [TS]

  step of the way it's like right i don't [TS]

  want a policeman to get hurt either but [TS]

  actually the risk of getting hurt is [TS]

  part of the job of being a policeman and [TS]

  if you and and and and the reality is if [TS]

  you send one cop in his shirtsleeves [TS]

  into a group of agitators nine out of [TS]

  ten times he's going to be able to [TS]

  relate to them on a human level and [TS]

  defuse the situation and if you send 25 [TS]

  cops dressed as robots to confront those [TS]

  agitators ninety-nine percent of the [TS]

  time it's going to turn into a fight [TS]

  and the and the risk has to be that one [TS]

  cop 1 out of 10 * is going to get hurt [TS]

  and if you're not willing to take that [TS]

  risk then you set up a situation where [TS]

  worth what we're all fighting always all [TS]

  the time and nobody saying please and [TS]

  thank you [TS]

  mmm [TS]