Roderick on the Line

Ep. 129: "Museo De Garbagemen"


  hello ipod hi Merlin how's it going [TS]

  early in the morning Charlie was merely [TS]

  things are good i made the mistake this [TS]

  morning of getting a quad americano and [TS]

  thanks for expressions with water [TS]

  um yeah and it's too much it's too much [TS]

  it you start the day you start the day [TS]

  just on a on a jeep ride down a Costa [TS]

  Rican mountain road John Roderick for [TS]

  quantum Aeronautics and never have a [TS]

  feeling like you really need to reach [TS]

  your destination so I'm sitting here and [TS]

  I'm you know I'm simultaneously agitated [TS]

  and excited yeah but also you [TS]

  oh yes cramping and you know one foot is [TS]

  going through and if you're still eating [TS]

  the glutens how much worse that would be [TS]

  it's a lot to ask your body did [TS]

  it's a deal with write it right away and [TS]

  last night the last thing I ate before I [TS]

  went to bed with it was a bunch of [TS]

  indian food so I have so much to say [TS]

  about this [TS]

  yeah that's that's funny you should say [TS]

  that this is a terrific topic [TS]

  um yeah I woke up and I you know I had a [TS]

  good night's sleep i got up and my part [TS]

  too if you like is that I had two small [TS]

  cups of espresso they were not large but [TS]

  they were pretty intense demitasse yeah [TS]

  and actually one of things I want to [TS]

  talk to you about is a new workflow that [TS]

  I've been doing that's really a bad idea [TS]

  oh yeah but I love what you're about bad [TS]

  new workflow yeah well it's about time [TS]

  lifehack i am well first I have [TS]

  something on my list i want to share [TS]

  with you which is that i have discovered [TS]

  a brand of canned chili that I like wait [TS]

  a minute hold the presses [TS]

  yeah lay it on me well the problem is i [TS]

  want [TS]

  it suggests should we should we as men [TS]

  responsible for podcast yes up and I the [TS]

  problem is my workflow I don't know how [TS]

  this happens but i have had my first [TS]

  dinner at night and with my family and [TS]

  then nigga you know they go off to sleep [TS]

  and I'm sitting there you send them off [TS]

  to send them off site thanks thanks for [TS]

  your time [TS]

  huh well we'll circle back in the [TS]

  morning and then I go and I watch you [TS]

  know whatever is on TV on my version of [TS]

  TV so I'm sitting there and watching [TS]

  homeland and say hmm you know it's 1024 [TS]

  long time since my last dinner at his [TS]

  first dinner and then I think I think [TS]

  you know it's a way to myself I should [TS]

  have a little snack and I this is part [TS]

  of the workflow the part of the workflow [TS]

  is deceiving myself into thinking maybe [TS]

  I'll have a piece that maybe have half a [TS]

  piece of fruit [TS]

  aight or maybe you know maybe I could I [TS]

  could have something that we very simple [TS]

  it wouldn't make dishes i think one [TS]

  slice of frozen bacon and then I see the [TS]

  collection of wolf brand can chili [TS]

  staring me in the face [TS]

  wolf brand apart into a bowl and about a [TS]

  hundred and eighteen seconds later i'm [TS]

  literally eating a can of chili at [TS]

  ten-twenty of name and I can eat the [TS]

  whole thing if there's leftover rice [TS]

  leftover noodles leftover anything i'll [TS]

  put it over leftover chili I don't [TS]

  fucking care of course I'm sitting there [TS]

  I'm sitting there watching watching [TS]

  television in Chile 1020 right now that [TS]

  that's the part 1 because the part two [TS]

  is gonna get up in the morning and i [TS]

  have two espressos sure so you're still [TS]

  our there's a lot to talk about here for [TS]

  sure your powered by yesterday's chili [TS]

  and then you put some you put like [TS]

  high-octane fuel right on top of that [TS]

  but I mean like if it's almost like a [TS]

  little kid science class we first make [TS]

  the baking soda volcanoes you know what [TS]

  I mean it's like baking soda before bed [TS]

  a nice nice nice big cup of vinegar in [TS]

  the more ya outside of Krakatoa I at a [TS]

  certain point in the in the you know in [TS]

  the in the pump chili years I got very [TS]

  suspicious of what was in canned chili [TS]

  such that even though in the course of [TS]

  the typical day in modern life there are [TS]

  25 different things you put in your body [TS]

  where you cannot possibly know what [TS]

  has gone on yeah and the more convenient [TS]

  that food is the smaller the ingredients [TS]

  are on the label and the lesson of care [TS]

  right now you just need to get to the [TS]

  next thing so yeah that's something on [TS]

  your face [TS]

  ok I'll eat this and you know it was [TS]

  that it's probably its I mean definitely [TS]

  some portion of this has been extruded [TS]

  from an extruder but I'm gonna eat it [TS]

  but chilly just just started to like [TS]

  that I would stand in the grocery store [TS]

  chili oil and I would look at these cans [TS]

  of chili and it's been reading the back [TS]

  i'm searching the label for clues and I [TS]

  just started to feel like this [TS]

  particular product it's too easy to [TS]

  sneak 20-percent rodent hair all right [TS]

  into this product it's just too easy as [TS]

  they're cooking up this chilly for [TS]

  everything to be in it and i got i can't [TS]

  really stay get scared and it was it was [TS]

  just like freaked out about it at you [TS]

  know you get those little I don't have [TS]

  to tell you you get a little thing on [TS]

  the horizon you get a little point on a [TS]

  little little spot on the vanishing [TS]

  point who the just it's like somebody [TS]

  standing there with a mirror in the hot [TS]

  Sun you're like what is that / ah and so [TS]

  I started going to the hippie store and [TS]

  buying vegan chili which is taking its [TS]

  healthy it's got to be there's got to be [TS]

  good stuff in here right it's terrible [TS]

  it's that it's it's awful but it is you [TS]

  know i have discussed this i think [TS]

  before it's a chilly base and then it's [TS]

  got the beans got vegetables and it's [TS]

  got some kind of fake meat in the form [TS]

  of of soy a textured vegetable protein [TS]

  can write yeah and then you know that I [TS]

  throw a couple pounds of hamburger that [TS]

  I have sourced and I feel like a beta i [TS]

  feel like i made a kind of like workable [TS]

  compromise but it means that chili is [TS]

  now an involved process for me I can't [TS]

  just go get because it can of this vegan [TS]

  stuff we just pop it open at ten twenty [TS]

  at night [TS]

  throw it over some leftover rice your [TS]

  spear really sad [TS]

  Oh me I mean it completely changes the [TS]

  equation because you might as well go [TS]

  make a beef wellington [TS]

  yes now now first of all you're making [TS]

  dishes I don't like making dishes nope [TS]

  and not a 10 out of 10 20 at night but I [TS]

  hundred percent agree [TS]

  I you know you got me into the idea of [TS]

  canned chili a few years ago and i've [TS]

  been i've been exploring it quietly on [TS]

  my own and based on what's easy to get [TS]

  because i don't want to go anything too [TS]

  complicated obviously personally I don't [TS]

  wanna go down the vegan chili right i [TS]

  don't know browning meat it's 930 at [TS]

  night [TS]

  nope you know and you know what is [TS]

  around that you could bring on that and [TS]

  having your freezer sure but the thing [TS]

  about wolf brand chili [TS]

  mhm I I like it I like it in concept [TS]

  there's a there's a little bit like wolf [TS]

  brand it's a little bit on the nose [TS]

  well but I feel like it if you are [TS]

  endorsing wolf brand chili and you feel [TS]

  like they're feel like they're high [TS]

  quality of ingredients and I'm and a [TS]

  minimum like a workable percentage of [TS]

  like mice and rats that have fallen into [TS]

  the machines [TS]

  uh-huh then yes I mean stress probably a [TS]

  Texas rounding error i don't think they [TS]

  deliberately put a lot in but wash on [TS]

  there just so this is a perfect topic so [TS]

  many angles on this guy i was just [TS]

  reading about different kinds of kin [TS]

  chilies and i learned that i could get [TS]

  the wolf chili which is one of those [TS]

  like how like a fake cult food it's one [TS]

  of those things like course kind of [TS]

  thing where you can get outside [TS]

  ah of course you were reading up on [TS]

  canned chili that you never occurred to [TS]

  me to do well yeah but let's let's take [TS]

  a step back side can be there guys [TS]

  bootleg wolf chili [TS]

  well now i think i think Smokey and the [TS]

  Bandit blue doors open and now you know [TS]

  because of distribution improvements in [TS]

  the internet you can get wolf chili [TS]

  places now places like California but i [TS]

  want to buy something you said which is [TS]

  really true and I don't want to you know [TS]

  go too far back into the pump chili [TS]

  thing but it's worth repeating for new [TS]

  people is that is if you think about the [TS]

  18 not it's not food chain it's not a [TS]

  pyramid but if you think about the idea [TS]

  of like up here you got the couch and [TS]

  grass that's kind of the canonical cow [TS]

  and then at some point that cow gets [TS]

  made up into different images muscles [TS]

  get sliced up into different kinds of [TS]

  cuts into oh well this is a fillet this [TS]

  is a flat iron steak like this probably [TS]

  not [TS]

  surpassing number of sewing needles and [TS]

  rat poop in this exotic meats yes [TS]

  yeah but then it gets you further and [TS]

  further down the line it's been sluice [TS]

  more and more ways [TS]

  pretty soon you got stuff like chicken [TS]

  nuggets which are made out of all the [TS]

  parts of chicken that we couldn't just [TS]

  serve as a piece of chicken but we don't [TS]

  throw it away right there's a guy in [TS]

  knee-high boots [TS]

  yep with a hose chicken boots with a [TS]

  hose and he's spraying the chicken [TS]

  nuggets parts into a hole in the floor [TS]

  haha and then underneath that whole [TS]

  floor there's some machine that's making [TS]

  chicken nuggets [TS]

  yes we're friends call that role the [TS]

  hoser [TS]

  I draw the line at that guy alright and [TS]

  then on the other if you want to sit [TS]

  down a different branch you've got [TS]

  variety meats you've got all the [TS]

  different pieces like when you go to go [TS]

  to the grocery store you'll see like you [TS]

  know not prominently displayed because [TS]

  you know you can get the hood of the pig [TS]

  you can get the snout of the pig was a [TS]

  lot of folks in my neighborhood are [TS]

  making that into food for the family [TS]

  that's like a totally that's like a [TS]

  normal thing but you know you're right [TS]

  though the thing with chili is chili is [TS]

  like the result of a board meeting [TS]

  chilis like somebody said we got all of [TS]

  this like Grady meet we're not sure what [TS]

  to do with how could we use not too much [TS]

  of that plus flavors to put stuff in a [TS]

  can [TS]

  yeah so I mean if you start from the [TS]

  concept as Chile not as this great [TS]

  country frontier food you know with [TS]

  farm-to-table beef you start kind of [TS]

  reverse engineer your chili you're going [TS]

  to realize there's a lot of stuff in [TS]

  there that's based on like financial [TS]

  expediency [TS]

  well it's true but I had a very [TS]

  interesting conversation about a school [TS]

  year and a half ago with my good friend [TS]

  Kurt timber meister I've ever introduce [TS]

  you to Curt timber meister I don't think [TS]

  I know Curt Curt timber meister a is a [TS]

  is a man of certain age and he used to [TS]

  own a cafe in seattle called the cafe [TS]

  city M which was kind of French food but [TS]

  done in the style of the early nineties [TS]

  which is to say you know he had chili [TS]

  key lays on his menu it wasn't like it [TS]

  wasn't authentically French it was [TS]

  French ish [TS]

  dude who and that was a cafe that i [TS]

  spent sometimes five days a week in I [TS]

  would just go I'd sit the sit at a table [TS]

  it was you know back when you could [TS]

  smoke in a cafe so I would sit in the [TS]

  back and I would smoke and drink coffee [TS]

  and then I would have food and people [TS]

  would come visit with me my friends were [TS]

  there i would sometimes get mail there [TS]

  it was like what my little home pad [TS]

  thank you like a little like a Pacific [TS]

  Northwest Hemingway yeah what he was [TS]

  able to court [TS]

  there was no drinking there's no alcohol [TS]

  drinking it was post alcohol times but [TS]

  um but it wasn't yet all day long you [TS]

  could sit in there and been and and that [TS]

  the constituency would turn over a [TS]

  couple of times in the morning you have [TS]

  your morning friends and then the [TS]

  afternoon friends would come in and then [TS]

  you could even take it into the evening [TS]

  friends just in this one place anyway at [TS]

  a certain point at the end of the [TS]

  nineties curtain burmeister decided that [TS]

  he had was fed up with running a cafe [TS]

  fed up with Broadway and he took his he [TS]

  sold his business he took the money he [TS]

  took the ferry boat over to Vashon [TS]

  Island which is the hippie island off [TS]

  the off the coast of Seattle here and he [TS]

  bought himself fifty or a hundred acres [TS]

  of farm and there was a little old cabin [TS]

  on it and he started to he got a couple [TS]

  of cows you got a couple of pigs got [TS]

  some chickens and he started to be a [TS]

  gentleman farmer and a certain point he [TS]

  started having a dinner at his house [TS]

  where the premise was he he invited the [TS]

  first group of people to the dinner and [TS]

  then the subsequent dinner you had to be [TS]

  either a member of that first group or [TS]

  recommended by somebody in the first [TS]

  group who write it became a kind of like [TS]

  pyramid scheme of guests where you had [TS]

  to be somehow connected to somebody who [TS]

  already been at the dinner [TS]

  IDK yet actually come with them i think [TS]

  you have to be their guest and [TS]

  everything at the dinner [TS]

  Curt grew on his own property [TS]

  Wow except for the coffee the sugar the [TS]

  salt and the wheat and [TS]

  think and he tried to source those [TS]

  things from within 30 miles of Vashon [TS]

  Island anyway it became a very early one [TS]

  of these it was like one of the first of [TS]

  these events where everything that were [TS]

  eating at the table is y unos communal [TS]

  style meal everything it was made here [TS]

  like actually grazed here on this farm [TS]

  so we know exactly know everything that [TS]

  these cows have ever eaten and then the [TS]

  milk and the cheese we made from you [TS]

  know that it's all from that these same [TS]

  cows and considerate center like and it [TS]

  was it was a it became as you can [TS]

  imagine a really understand it must be a [TS]

  hot ticket [TS]

  it was a hot ticket and and so at a [TS]

  certain point it got out of control and [TS]

  Kurt started making people write essays [TS]

  to see if they can you know like it [TS]

  because because he would announce a [TS]

  dinner there were hundreds or 50 seats [TS]

  at the table and their be 5,000 people [TS]

  wanting to go a lot of work [TS]

  yeah so it became it became a lot of [TS]

  work and eventually he stopped doing [TS]

  that now he does now he's just making [TS]

  artisanal cheeses and selling them in [TS]

  any edges he's opening a little store [TS]

  here in Seattle where he just sells his [TS]

  artisanal cheese but I what the heck was [TS]

  i have the the provenance of chili [TS]

  alright so I'm on a radio program at one [TS]

  point about a year and a half ago and [TS]

  we're talking about the gray that gray [TS]

  beef that was on the cause celeb a year [TS]

  or two ago [TS]

  you know what i'm talking about the OPA [TS]

  think pink slime pink slime time I shall [TS]

  gosh am talking about pink slime on the [TS]

  radio and the its public radio so the [TS]

  public radio of this Luke no it's not [TS]

  Luke Luke is hardly public radio this is [TS]

  like actual like Public Radio so that is [TS]

  what is that where the public has a [TS]

  component in it it's not just look [TS]

  burbank talking [TS]

  and the host says what pink slime am i [TS]

  right am i right [TS]

  nobody likes pink slime the worst let's [TS]

  go to let's go to euchre temper meister [TS]

  a gentleman farmer legendary sort of [TS]

  epicurean and you know natural food [TS]

  advocate how do you feel about pink [TS]

  slime pretty bad right and kurta my [TS]

  stream and I respect greatly said [TS]

  actually if i had the technology to [TS]

  create pink slime we're on our farm i [TS]

  would do it in a second and you could [TS]

  hear across the attal the collective [TS]

  gasp of all the people who were like [TS]

  what our hero curtain burmeister pink [TS]

  slime and he said listen there's nothing [TS]

  about pink slime that you're not eating [TS]

  already it's just all the parts of the [TS]

  cow that you can't scrape off [TS]

  I mean you know if I could sit with an [TS]

  exacto knife and scrape all the little [TS]

  bits of beef out of all the little [TS]

  corners it's just saying it's just the [TS]

  beef that was right next to the beef [TS]

  that we cut off like a natural result of [TS]

  peak beef like you can't afford to waste [TS]

  any of this week we could use this for [TS]

  something [TS]

  yeah right look look look at photos here [TS]

  of it and it looks it is pink and [TS]

  extruded and it looks kind of like so [TS]

  it's all those pieces they did where the [TS]

  slurry it all together and then it comes [TS]

  out like soft-serve I guess they boil [TS]

  the boil the cow or somehow they get [TS]

  that look those little bits out whom [TS]

  they much it all together and it becomes [TS]

  a kind of toothpaste of liking of beef [TS]

  but Kurt a guy that you know that i [TS]

  would expect if he had if he had real [TS]

  issues with pink slime he would you know [TS]

  he'd be all over it was it wasn't it was [TS]

  a softball pitch to him and he was like [TS]

  listen as a farmer as somebody who like [TS]

  routinely butchers a cow and feels [TS]

  pretty bad about all of the stuff that [TS]

  just goes into dog food [TS]

  like if I could scrape all that stuff [TS]

  off and put in Chile I would do it and [TS]

  it's not bad for you and it's not you [TS]

  know it's it's not i think i think it [TS]

  gets bad when you start bleaching it and [TS]

  colouring it and yeah i mean if the the [TS]

  i would say the main beef if you like [TS]

  with pink slime would be that you're not [TS]

  sure what parts came it came from wells [TS]

  in there and you get into the Mad Cow [TS]

  thing where if you've got a whole bunch [TS]

  of different cows from different places [TS]

  imagine to make pink slime with [TS]

  economies of scale you're gonna have to [TS]

  have counter is there's going to be [TS]

  brains in there there's going to be [TS]

  eyelashes I mean that's not stuff that I [TS]

  want [TS]

  ok but it's very hard for me living in [TS]

  an industrial society to know where to [TS]

  draw the line [TS]

  oh yeah because you know you go to [TS]

  places like for instance up here in the [TS]

  northwest we have a thing called taco [TS]

  time which is a chain but it's a night [TS]

  it's a nice chain i said i said i [TS]

  described taco time as fast food to my [TS]

  mom the other day and she was offended [TS]

  she was like taco times not fast food is [TS]

  it like an in-and-out burger thing [TS]

  yeah yes it's precisely that it's a it's [TS]

  a higher cut of a fast-food mhm but [TS]

  they've got 25 locations or something [TS]

  like that they are not they are not [TS]

  petting and cooing to their cows and [TS]

  calling them by name as they lead them [TS]

  into into like a lavender scented [TS]

  abattoir they're buying beef on the [TS]

  market you know and you're and you are [TS]

  dependent on somebody up the up the food [TS]

  chain that you didn't that you never met [TS]

  that guy in the boots with the hose was [TS]

  like well you know do we throw do we do [TS]

  we throw the eyelashes away or do we put [TS]

  them in the pan burger [TS]

  uh-huh well I've tried to in my [TS]

  experimenting with the different chilies [TS]

  i am a little bit of a label reader [TS]

  mhm and I mean just on the face of it [TS]

  was the other one the other brand that [TS]

  I've been getting that's like okay good [TS]

  well first of all I mean let's be honest [TS]

  like on the face of it you look at [TS]

  canned chili and i haven't had a dog and [TS]

  a pretty long time but you know I think [TS]

  if you dumped out a thing of dogs you [TS]

  know i'm thinking the seventies dog food [TS]

  so i might already be on the wrong page [TS]

  but I mean if you dumped out what I [TS]

  remember canned dog food [TS]

  me like you dumped that out and then [TS]

  dumped out you know even premium canned [TS]

  chili next to it I i wonder how [TS]

  different they look [TS]

  yeah yeah they're not even adult food [TS]

  that's true that's true then might be [TS]

  eyelashes but like with this I mean like [TS]

  for example was the other brand I've [TS]

  been getting 12 beginning for a while [TS]

  that's really easy to get is checking my [TS]

  online grocery shopping list here [TS]

  stags a stag yes which is you know which [TS]

  is fine but you know the first [TS]

  ingredient is water [TS]

  you know I think the second ingredient [TS]

  is you know the thing is the meat [TS]

  doesn't show up for her blanket but you [TS]

  know the first the first ingredient on [TS]

  the on the on the wolf chili is you know [TS]

  meat is that right yeah that crazy i [TS]

  don't see how that's even possible but [TS]

  it's got chunks and it's got ground and [TS]

  you know I'm sure I'm sure the process [TS]

  of making that is is horrific but uh but [TS]

  but I enjoy it [TS]

  I i think it's i think it's good i mean [TS]

  it's canned chili we expect you know you [TS]

  know a lot of our listeners a lot of our [TS]

  listeners to this program are in foreign [TS]

  countries like Australia New Zealand [TS]

  just that right [TS]

  the United Kingdom and although our [TS]

  neighbors to the north in Canada listen [TS]

  to the program we share a culture with [TS]

  them [TS]

  the Canadians are Canadians have great [TS]

  plains they have cowboys they have chili [TS]

  but I'm i wonder if Chile particularly [TS]

  canned chili is the thing that they have [TS]

  in Germany or the united kingdom [TS]

  that's a good question people may be [TS]

  listening to this program and scratching [TS]

  their heads and going we've been talking [TS]

  about Chilean awful lot because you know [TS]

  I remember the first time I went to the [TS]

  United Kingdom and i ordered a root beer [TS]

  this is a long time ago and nobody knew [TS]

  what i was talking about and finally [TS]

  some guy leaned over and he was like [TS]

  listen mate he said in an English accent [TS]

  said listen root beer is another North [TS]

  American thing we don't have it here we [TS]

  make it tastes gross it tastes like [TS]

  medicine who was like tastes like [TS]

  medicine [TS]

  nothing to talk to somebody from the UK [TS]

  that root beer is amazing are you [TS]

  kidding me with you people don't know [TS]

  what this is back when you couldn't even [TS]

  get a you couldn't find a taco in all of [TS]

  Europe but I was like root beer you [TS]

  gotta get hip to repair their like now [TS]

  we've had it with you know it [TS]

  there are places that are like you've [TS]

  got a drink American root beer and it's [TS]

  a whole thing it's kind of like you know [TS]

  fish and chips or whatever inc you know [TS]

  like that the weird export and no one in [TS]

  the United Kingdom liked it so then [TS]

  accept fast forward several years I was [TS]

  there on to her and I was staying I'm [TS]

  staying with the weather a good friend [TS]

  who lives there and he said as we're [TS]

  driving back to his house he was like [TS]

  listen mate I've got some I got a big [TS]

  surprise for you and I was like really [TS]

  tell me more and he said I got you some [TS]

  root beer I know how much you like it [TS]

  and i actually was excited when I got [TS]

  back to his place and there and he had [TS]

  root beer and it was honestly called [TS]

  something like American root beer USA [TS]

  style American root beer and I drank it [TS]

  and it tasted like medicine it was [TS]

  terrible [TS]

  it tastes like cough syrup interesting [TS]

  but they haven't haven't gotten the good [TS]

  stuff because like what is the matter [TS]

  with you guys you don't like oh you come [TS]

  over to America I know English people [TS]

  have been to America you surely have had [TS]

  a hires root beer [TS]

  it's just a simple canned like we can [TS]

  ship it to you if if if you're too [TS]

  confused I've never had a decent root [TS]

  beer in in Europe in the in all the [TS]

  years that's weird [TS]

  and when I talk about it together now [TS]

  maybe that's changed in the last four [TS]

  years and maybe there's been a root beer [TS]

  revolution and everybody that's [TS]

  listening to this podcast that's 25 [TS]

  years old is like what are you talking [TS]

  about mate love an American rape ya [TS]

  route Barry kidding me that we've always [TS]

  had it but the truth is no they have no [TS]

  roof you're there and I can be I don't [TS]

  even I can't even imagine what's going [TS]

  on in Australia there they probably [TS]

  flavor it with scorpions for something [TS]

  we're in New Zealand man that changed [TS]

  the way I think about bacon you know [TS]

  we're over here they they call what [TS]

  we've got here streaky bacon continue [TS]

  their beacons like ham and it's good [TS]

  it's real good i like Irish bacon too [TS]

  but the the bacon I got in New Zealand I [TS]

  be [TS]

  you know what I wasn't eating at [TS]

  McDonald's where they have the best [TS]

  mcdonalds in the world i was seriously a [TS]

  cut above the mcdonalds is a streaky [TS]

  bacon my college class turkey bacon this [TS]

  is the junk we here and like I don't [TS]

  want you know when i try to buy like a [TS]

  halfway decent bacon and it's just a big [TS]

  piece of fat [TS]

  yes it's a mean like that as that that [TS]

  much higher up the food chain than a [TS]

  wolf chili when I will have in Romania [TS]

  when you get bacon it's just fast it's [TS]

  just the rind and they eat it kind of [TS]

  like raw ish we not not really cooked [TS]

  down because you know if you cook though [TS]

  if you cook the ride down it just you [TS]

  cook it down the stairs so you'll show [TS]

  up at somebody's house and they'll be [TS]

  like you know they'll give you a little [TS]

  appetizer or you or you go into a [TS]

  restaurant and bacon is on the menu and [TS]

  you order it and it's just the fatty [TS]

  ride that you're meant to kind of sit [TS]

  and chew on our-our-our this for fatty [TS]

  right at one point I was talking to a [TS]

  guy and I said hey what's the deal [TS]

  what's the deal with your bacon like if [TS]

  you could you just move the knife over a [TS]

  little bit you'll get nice to get some [TS]

  meat on there and he thought about it [TS]

  for a little while and he said the [TS]

  American pigs have have meat on their [TS]

  bacon but romanian pigs don't i don't [TS]

  have any like a life of leisure they [TS]

  don't have me on the record no and then [TS]

  I got developed it was the opposite he [TS]

  felt he felt it was it was clear to me [TS]

  that this guy was a butcher at was a a [TS]

  poet and not a butcher and did not [TS]

  understand that you know that yes [TS]

  romanian pigs also had meat it was he [TS]

  was expressing he was expressing a sort [TS]

  of collective inferiority complex of his [TS]

  nation that he was sure that the bet [TS]

  that the answer to my question was that [TS]

  Romanian pigs didn't have as much meat [TS]

  because they were they were you know [TS]

  lesser lesser pigs how bet that chili I [TS]

  mean chili definitely seems like a what [TS]

  Southwestern regional version but look [TS]

  of a certain kind of food like a goulash [TS]

  kind of food that you can get lots of [TS]

  places maybe it's a kind of goulash when [TS]

  you say [TS]

  I would have would the the addition of [TS]

  beans is is the thing like if you put [TS]

  beans in goulash in Hungary they would [TS]

  be I think upset they would be mad [TS]

  that's not canonical I don't know I'm [TS]

  it's going to be interesting to hear i'm [TS]

  sure we're going to get lots of the [TS]

  replies from our help people reply to us [TS]

  we don't have an email address you know [TS]

  I suggested to you the the other day [TS]

  that we do a reader mail but then we [TS]

  have to we have to have email you know [TS]

  what here's what I'll do I'll go in and [TS]

  I'll go into the content management [TS]

  system and i will make it very easy for [TS]

  people to contact you [TS]

  haha can you imagine that the reader [TS]

  mail that we would get I think people [TS]

  will find a way to contact you no matter [TS]

  what [TS]

  yeah when you ask them to contact you [TS]

  they will stay will surely contact you [TS]

  I have so many things to ask of our [TS]

  listeners but i never do I never depart [TS]

  partly it's because because I feel like [TS]

  a university we could do the opposite of [TS]

  our listeners male we should just we [TS]

  should just get send them little male a [TS]

  grown-up you should individual just ask [TS]

  rhetorical questions in an aha ok i [TS]

  pulled up just quickly close this thread [TS]

  excited yeah I gotta get the ingredients [TS]

  first a guy got the ingredients for wolf [TS]

  and they're young they're both pretty [TS]

  good [TS]

  the wolf so and as we know here in the [TS]

  states the ingredients go in the order [TS]

  of how would you describe it what [TS]

  there's the most of in it sure is not [TS]

  for eating green one that's a good thing [TS]

  I'm they're probably people who don't [TS]

  know that that that's the first [TS]

  ingredient you see is what there is the [TS]

  most of by I guess mass right and a lot [TS]

  of times that is sugar or water water [TS]

  and sugar [TS]

  yea high fructose corn syrup know so so [TS]

  so for the stagg chili number one [TS]

  ingredient water now number two beef [TS]

  number three tomatoes for beans number 5 [TS]

  kidney beans so I guess those are [TS]

  technically beans [TS]

  I don't know tomato paste hydrated [TS]

  onions not too bad all the way down the [TS]

  line you end up with bell peppers and [TS]

  spices wolf chili number one ingredient [TS]

  meet ingredients / n beef comma pork [TS]

  number two [TS]

  diced tomatoes in juice number three [TS]

  prepared pink beans b-stock green bell [TS]

  peppers tomato puree onions [TS]

  I'm pretty certain they get less than [TS]

  you go down to the less than 2% of you [TS]

  got soy flour salt flavor and sugar [TS]

  right but you know first ingredient meet [TS]

  that's pretty good [TS]

  that is good and uh he didn't say [TS]

  eyelashes anywhere on there that might [TS]

  be the two percent but you know the [TS]

  thing is what I was a you know I was [TS]

  waiting for you to finish your job your [TS]

  activities earlier i was reading up arm [TS]

  look at wikipedia and learning about [TS]

  wolf chili they used to have a Model T [TS]

  you can look this up is a wonderful [TS]

  hilarious silly wikipedia entry they had [TS]

  a Model T that where they made it like a [TS]

  fake and it looks like like like the [TS]

  wienermobile before going over there we [TS]

  have a big can of chili and right behind [TS]

  the big can get a wolf in a cage and [TS]

  then we drive around a Model T with fake [TS]

  and chili and a wolf while it on the [TS]

  nose but pretty amusing that is amusing [TS]

  but that would knock them dead at a [TS]

  County Fair imagine to take them on the [TS]

  road how complicated that would be you [TS]

  have to like get gas like maintain the [TS]

  model t make sure the can was up to [TS]

  snuff and owned by the way to deal with [TS]

  a wolf [TS]

  you know the thing about a wolf is [TS]

  speaking as somebody who's been [TS]

  proximate to some wolves even wolves in [TS]

  cages even wolves that are changed to a [TS]

  cement floor when we really you are [TS]

  I would play the DNG module of your life [TS]

  at something when you are standing next [TS]

  to a wall even a wolf chained to a [TS]

  cement floor in a Cal Worthington for [TS]

  auto dealership [TS]

  the wolf is terrifying and and the you [TS]

  are at energies are being communicated [TS]

  to you and your body that are [TS]

  prehistoric and you know in your in your [TS]

  adult mind that the wolf cannot get you [TS]

  but you are never ever ever so a aware [TS]

  of of of being prey it was going to say [TS]

  it's what what really that it is like [TS]

  the canonical predator there's nothing [TS]

  about a wolf that isn't predatory yeah [TS]

  and and if you're if you're standing it [TS]

  near a a bear of like a a wild bear i [TS]

  even change a concrete floor and even if [TS]

  it's changing economy forever if a [TS]

  bear's change or concrete floor and he [TS]

  could escape his chains all of a sudden [TS]

  he would he would plow through some [TS]

  people but his main goal would be like [TS]

  get out right and if you're and I've [TS]

  encountered quite a few bears in nature [TS]

  and the bear unless the bear has no [TS]

  other option really they just turn and [TS]

  run like they don't even big bears they [TS]

  just turn and run and those bears you [TS]

  know the Bears that attack people in [TS]

  Alaska it's almost always a case where [TS]

  somebody is down at a salmon choked [TS]

  fishing stream and they're plowing [TS]

  through head high brush and they you [TS]

  know they come in between a bear and [TS]

  something else and it's just like he [TS]

  even people who are aware of all the [TS]

  dangerous you know they kind of like oh [TS]

  shit i forgot my tool kit back in the [TS]

  truck I'll be right back and they they [TS]

  forget their precautions they don't make [TS]

  enough noise they don't ring a bell or [TS]

  whatever and I've run into bears like on [TS]

  a trail where it's like here comes a [TS]

  bear and here comes me and uh porcupine [TS]

  in that situation will stand its ground [TS]

  and and force you to move off the trail [TS]

  as the while the porcupine walks along [TS]

  right like a porcupine will face you [TS]

  down but a bear will turn and split [TS]

  right [TS]

  nope but a wolf roof like a wolf in a [TS]

  place like that with it broke its chains [TS]

  it just gives you the feeling that it [TS]

  would go around and personally shred [TS]

  each person in the place on his way to [TS]

  the door like clothes feel like that [TS]

  like that like it like a imagine if like [TS]

  you had like an arnold schwarzenegger [TS]

  like a terminator but like in a group [TS]

  that could communicate like wolves seem [TS]

  to always have a plan for like Maximum [TS]

  Destruction yeah yeah they're interested [TS]

  you're trying to get away then [TS]

  the that's what's amazing is like one [TS]

  glancing blow from a bear could like [TS]

  knock your car over there stood the [TS]

  heads on those things are enormous [TS]

  they're so strong but he's going to get [TS]

  on with their thing they want to get out [TS]

  of count Worthington's ford dealership [TS]

  and just go back to their honey bunny or [TS]

  whatever [TS]

  Yeah Yeah Yeah right there not a wolf [TS]

  the wolf is going to take out as many [TS]

  people as you can [TS]

  he's like a CIA agent I just yeah I feel [TS]

  like I feel like driving around in a [TS]

  Model T that's shaped like a can of [TS]

  chili pulling a wolf in a cage you you [TS]

  are every time you you pull over to get [TS]

  gas [TS]

  you're going to sit in the cabin that [TS]

  car and you're gonna be like okay I'm [TS]

  getting out now right and i'm gonna go [TS]

  back and put gas in the car and the wolf [TS]

  is going to be right there and he's [TS]

  gonna be staring at him he's had [TS]

  Johnny's had a lot of time to think he's [TS]

  had a lot of time to work the angles did [TS]

  you have to test the tensile strength of [TS]

  the cage to look at that farcical lock [TS]

  you have like with the bread ty holding [TS]

  on [TS]

  yeah he's sitting there and he's just [TS]

  you know he's just staring at you while [TS]

  you're pumping gas is just breathing [TS]

  like oh just breathing fumes and he and [TS]

  he's just thinking to himself like one [TS]

  day motherfucker [TS]

  one day one day you're gonna forget to [TS]

  put that lock back on one day you're [TS]

  gonna read in a region it's like it's [TS]

  like how did Hannibal Lecter do it [TS]

  diverged in for the keys or whatever and [TS]

  all of a sudden he's played and hanging [TS]

  up in the inside the cage and Hannibal [TS]

  Lecter is wearing his skin and it's just [TS]

  exactly what was thinking that exact [TS]

  same shit just like he might drive [TS]

  around like he's got a really long game [TS]

  where he would actually learn to drive [TS]

  from here to observe he would later the [TS]

  skin of the wolf truck driver and go [TS]

  around and just quietly slowly cause a [TS]

  huge amount of very confusing [TS]

  destruction [TS]

  listen this is historically based think [TS]

  about the wolves that that literally [TS]

  where sheep's clothing they don't [TS]

  literally bursting yeah the what you [TS]

  think that's just some added shut that [TS]

  was an analogy didn't you ever see the [TS]

  clip the Bugs Bunny cartoon I'm sorry [TS]

  you know it's we did we watch them on [TS]

  the first chronicles of narnia movie [TS]

  last night and it rejuvenated my my [TS]

  extreme fear of wolves [TS]

  yeah they're they're really scary and [TS]

  this lab we should get the Coyotes you [TS]

  get like this coyotes in Golden Gate [TS]

  Park as coyotes in my neighborhood I see [TS]

  them all the time like now what you [TS]

  doing a wolf or coyote well a lot of [TS]

  difference between a coyote looks like a [TS]

  looks like a kind of wild dog face box [TS]

  yeah like a big box like a like whenever [TS]

  you see a coyote there's always like a [TS]

  double-take triple take thing where [TS]

  you're like that's weird dog that can be [TS]

  like an Australian sheepdog or something [TS]

  well yeah you know the thing about dogs [TS]

  as i understand it is that we've bred [TS]

  them into all these breeds for our [TS]

  particular needs and for our friendship [TS]

  and whatever other myths were telling [TS]

  ourselves about dogs but if you take if [TS]

  you take some dogs of everybody let's [TS]

  say you take a like a miniature bulldog [TS]

  and a shar-pei and a great day and a and [TS]

  a husky and you let him run free and [TS]

  they made with each other that first [TS]

  generation of dogs will be pretty [TS]

  weird-looking and then the second [TS]

  generation of dogs will start to look [TS]

  like all the same kind of like general [TS]

  serve dog and then by the third [TS]

  generation they will all have reverted [TS]

  immediately reverted to that kind of [TS]

  East African dog if you go online and [TS]

  you look new google like one of those [TS]

  like prototypical fucking dogs yeah [TS]

  google ethiopian dog or something and [TS]

  you're going to get this check sort of [TS]

  yellow a dog with big ears that's got [TS]

  like kind of long legs God and it just [TS]

  looks like a just like it you heard dog [TS]

  and if you leave dogs alone and just let [TS]

  him meet with each other and don't [TS]

  monkey with them it's only a few [TS]

  generations before all that specialized [TS]

  breeding is just wiped out and they're [TS]

  back to her dog so a coyote is kind of a [TS]

  like to me at least a variation on the [TS]

  her dog and I think even maybe a little [TS]

  bit smaller than ethiopian [TS]

  her dog i found an infographic [TS]

  discussing the differences between the [TS]

  wolf and the coyote and it's pretty [TS]

  clear the coyote looks like a big dog [TS]

  yeah it's got the small nose pad narrow [TS]

  snout long years with pointed tips the [TS]

  wolf you got a large nose pad which is [TS]

  super cute rod snout and the short years [TS]

  with rounded tips and incredible [TS]

  intelligence behind the eyes that is [TS]

  coyote looks as they would say wiley but [TS]

  the wolf looks fucking tough very tough [TS]

  and very much bent on planning your [TS]

  instruction Plata County was being kind [TS]

  of in the mind of a jackal [TS]

  yeah right yeah that's that that's close [TS]

  to her dog and when I see coyotes in my [TS]

  own neighborhood i am always like you [TS]

  know you do catch your breath and go [TS]

  like oh wow look at that anything was [TS]

  just wild animals move give us [TS]

  yes something really like the thing is [TS]

  there's a dog out there the doctor just [TS]

  be acting like a fucking dog and running [TS]

  around being stupid right you'll see it [TS]

  when you see like a coyote or even a [TS]

  raccoon for that matter and they freeze [TS]

  and they look at you and the way they [TS]

  scurry away is is so chilling so chilly [TS]

  yeah the the cut the coyote when he runs [TS]

  he has that kind of loped that like cup [TS]

  up top where they just have a confidence [TS]

  they have a confidence that is that is [TS]

  inspiring and when I go out for late [TS]

  night walks in my neighborhood was late [TS]

  night walks where I expect to be [TS]

  covering some ground so I'd and so I [TS]

  don't bring a seminar I do have my my [TS]

  staff [TS]

  let's call it my walking staff and I am [TS]

  mindful uh because I that I'm much more [TS]

  I'm much more worried that someone's [TS]

  some asshole Rottweilers going to get [TS]

  out [TS]

  not the Rottweilers an asshole but some [TS]

  assholes with Rottweiler anime [TS]

  Rottweilers are very susceptible lets [TS]

  the pickle problem I mean you know [TS]

  proximity to assholes his dad for some [TS]

  yards right and so i'll be walking [TS]

  through this neighborhood and it's just [TS]

  like and I know that there are some [TS]

  assholes in this neighborhood and I know [TS]

  that they have Rottweilers are pit bulls [TS]

  and if I have one of them gets out and [TS]

  this is and we just have one of these [TS]

  encounters i need to be prepared to use [TS]

  a combination of my staff and my wits [TS]

  who and my SAS dagger roof to smoke [TS]

  bombs you can throw and help you [TS]

  disappear like that man i do to dispatch [TS]

  this dog but when when I think about a [TS]

  coyote [TS]

  I'm I'm a hundred percent sure that no [TS]

  coyote whatever attack me but I but you [TS]

  know I I want to be prepared for like [TS]

  what if you twist an ankle and fall down [TS]

  a slope [TS]

  oh and he brings a friend yeah and then [TS]

  there's coyotes around and they're like [TS]

  you know all the same your late-night [TS]

  chili yeah you can't hear you [TS]

  they can't hear you up on the highway [TS]

  because the cars are two out and you're [TS]

  down there and your senior staff is out [TS]

  of reach that the role of Shaving throw [TS]

  what the hell that's right what the hell [TS]

  are you gonna do you know you need to be [TS]

  prepared but that's what did I put that [TS]

  cat I told you about this deny the cat [TS]

  that we had in our backyard [TS]

  I like an American cat well I i have to [TS]

  say i'm pretty well kind of i'm kind of [TS]

  fascinated by a semi domestic animals [TS]

  that really probably are kind of a bad [TS]

  idea to have around the obviously [TS]

  someone's this tragic it's really tragic [TS]

  what can happen when you when you get [TS]

  the wrong kind of dog around the wrong [TS]

  kind of people think for example about [TS]

  how I guess with my daughter [TS]

  we're like big dogs are not freaked out [TS]

  by a child little dogs are very freaked [TS]

  out by a child [TS]

  yeah haven't you ever seen this but the [TS]

  little dogs are very intimidated by [TS]

  something that's kind of their size and [TS]

  that's that's when you get bitten stop [TS]

  big dogs could give a fucking good [TS]

  writing they don't care but but now i [TS]

  know we had a think it was about this we [TS]

  had this weird situation worth suddenly [TS]

  there was this huge we've been having a [TS]

  lot of crows lately and I'm really [TS]

  trying to keep my cool about it trying [TS]

  to stay inside keep my face where they [TS]

  can't see I'm kind of worried that [TS]

  they're building a nest in our chimney [TS]

  and my daughter has now started to she [TS]

  knows how freaked out i am by crows and [TS]

  she's been provoking me she's saying [TS]

  look that one recognizes you [TS]

  I'm like that's not even funny like [TS]

  don't even joke like this is like a [TS]

  phobia for me so women are you telling [TS]

  me you don't go out and routinely say [TS]

  ICU crow ICU [TS]

  I mean I feel like I think the problem [TS]

  is I don't know how much they've seen of [TS]

  me that I'm not even aware [TS]

  I don't want to seem to place citrus so [TS]

  I don't want to be I don't want to be [TS]

  like like paul reiser and aliens kind of [TS]

  guy where they see me as having you know [TS]

  the cross called a two-faced somebody on [TS]

  the one hand like is not this is is [TS]

  respectful at other times is not [TS]

  respectful to our cruise I try to always [TS]

  be respectful mainly I stay out of their [TS]

  way to the first there's no crows and [TS]

  then suddenly there's lots of crows [TS]

  there's been eating like a member went [TS]

  out it [TS]

  yes I woke up this morning opened my [TS]

  open my curtains looked out the window [TS]

  at the two crows that were having a [TS]

  conversation on the on the wire out [TS]

  front of my window they both turned [TS]

  their attention to me and I said to each [TS]

  of them in turn ICU crow ICU crow and [TS]

  they saw me and we like we understand [TS]

  each other like like like respectful [TS]

  mature predators do you guys have an [TS]

  understanding [TS]

  I think you have to do that over and [TS]

  over again because yeah the memo does go [TS]

  out and they are they know a lot more [TS]

  about you than then you would be [TS]

  comfortable John their science about [TS]

  this is how there's actual science i [TS]

  think it's probably true the raccoons as [TS]

  well but anyhow I've been you know I [TS]

  don't like to talk about it because you [TS]

  never know I don't want people running [TS]

  around trying to cross scare me but you [TS]

  know there's been a lot of crows at our [TS]

  house and we come home and walk my [TS]

  daughter home from school and there will [TS]

  be six crows just sitting on top of our [TS]

  house where they can very easily and now [TS]

  stop oh yeah yeah um as long as i'm at [TS]

  this you know i might as well just get [TS]

  it all out about four or five saturday [TS]

  mornings ago I remember very [TS]

  specifically I woke up I heard keep it [TS]

  open and there's a kind of sound where [TS]

  you go [TS]

  that could be far away or close any kind [TS]

  of sound where you go oh I'm hearing [TS]

  that signal exactly without that's been [TS]

  the wall then I'm here yep and I'm [TS]

  hearing like the the plate reverb [TS]

  version of that comeback outside it's [TS]

  close its that the trip is coming from [TS]

  inside the house [TS]

  yeah and then some slain in bed thinking [TS]

  okay no big deal no big deal temper [TS]

  temper [TS]

  jupiter mater apple and I'm like and [TS]

  then Hatcher true trip and I as God is [TS]

  my witness I was positive that there was [TS]

  a bird that had gone through our chimney [TS]

  landed in like where the fire goes part [TS]

  of the chimney but in two weeks to have [TS]

  the guts to go look and yes there was a [TS]

  dead bird that had come down our chimney [TS]

  Wow and had died in your fireplace [TS]

  it looked yeah yeah yeah ooo yeah I [TS]

  think it was injured or something it [TS]

  might have been i look at its ok i just [TS]

  swept into a bag and ran outside [TS]

  screaming it was the worst idea on the [TS]

  surface of saying that we have been [TS]

  menaced by crows for a while and I've [TS]

  known to keep my distance [TS]

  it's a long story short I was at the [TS]

  office and this happened while you are [TS]

  recording a podcast actually a few weeks [TS]

  ago but nobody but that dead bird in the [TS]

  fireplace was not a crow I i don't think [TS]

  that was really little I think was a [TS]

  baby so I hope it didn't fall out of a [TS]

  nest up there [TS]

  ok but like our archenemy just goes [TS]

  straight up I mean it's like a Santa [TS]

  type situation it's in there is not [TS]

  anything in between [TS]

  so anyway I get it I get a photo from my [TS]

  wife and she's like wow there's a lot of [TS]

  crows outside this is well we're [TS]

  podcasting remember are the few couples [TS]

  guys kind of distracted and I told you [TS]

  afterward this is why and they were like [TS]

  literally like over a dozen crows [TS]

  swarming in our backyard [TS]

  I mean it was it was something like from [TS]

  the Old Testament there was a fuck ton [TS]

  of crows and they were squawkin and they [TS]

  were mad someone special like that's [TS]

  crazy and went great you know trigger [TS]

  warning [TS]

  hello can you just not send me a bunch [TS]

  of crows in the backyard because i know [TS]

  i'm going to come home and there's gonna [TS]

  be problems and then she sent me another [TS]

  photo she's like do you see a cat in the [TS]

  tree and I was like what what and I went [TS]

  and I look I'm talking to you I'm trying [TS]

  to have a conversation like a grown-up [TS]

  with you but I go and look and i zoom in [TS]

  my hand to God there is a cat a really [TS]

  super funky looking cat in the tree in [TS]

  our backyard that is being menaced by [TS]

  the crows [TS]

  mmm i get another message that cat [TS]

  apparently just went fucking hammer and [TS]

  tongs on a nest full of baby crows it [TS]

  has kro guts on its face its Licking [TS]

  itself and the crows are losing it [TS]

  Wow now flash forward a little bit I i [TS]

  shared this with the internet I said can [TS]

  you hear some photos could you tell me a [TS]

  little bit about this cat and I found [TS]

  out it's one of these monster cats its [TS]

  habits a cross between a wildcat and a [TS]

  domestic cat right what kind was it [TS]

  called a Savannah cat yes I know the [TS]

  savannah cats better be around Savannah [TS]

  can I have I had a friend that had one [TS]

  they're very freaky cats they're super [TS]

  freaky and I got kind of a little bit [TS]

  obsessed with the perfect all cats [TS]

  because the first thing the freaking out [TS]

  about it was that it climbed up a tree [TS]

  even before you climb the tree and was [TS]

  pretty calm about it it was just ok [TS]

  being in a tree and being photographed [TS]

  and then ate some crows and you noted [TS]

  but it went down the tree it didn't a [TS]

  fireman [TS]

  it was fine it's like a fucking jungle [TS]

  cat climb down the tree you have a wild [TS]

  Savannah cat in your backyard who is [TS]

  eating birds let's just what it feels [TS]

  like it yeah and so I just went out and [TS]

  you know is the internet about this and [TS]

  we got it narrowed down to either a [TS]

  bangle bangle your hat or a Savannah cat [TS]

  or possibly this other kind but I'm [TS]

  pretty positive it's the Savannah cat [TS]

  which is like a cross between how do you [TS]

  say the servile yeah servile a servile [TS]

  and like a domestic cat and are you [TS]

  ready for this you know what they cost [TS]

  to 238 thousand dollars yeah yeah I know [TS]

  there are big surprise there like there [TS]

  are conjugate Kanye pipeline a pet and [TS]

  here's another thing as I got more [TS]

  obsessed and kept looking at this and [TS]

  now i think this is a worthy adversary [TS]

  for the crows because here's the thing [TS]

  about 38,000 dollar house cat and it [TS]

  will it knows its name [TS]

  come on it is called and turns out you [TS]

  can walk in on a leash [TS]

  yeah yeah yeah no I know these I know [TS]

  these cats you know the first time I was [TS]

  in Telluride Colorado there was a woman [TS]

  there just calmly could be walking down [TS]

  the street with a mountain lion on a [TS]

  leash telluride and that was a real [TS]

  eye-opener how big he was didn't really [TS]

  read as a fucking mountain lion it's as [TS]

  big as a pittsburgh as a golden [TS]

  retriever domestic can you make him not [TS]

  at all i can't imagine it was [TS]

  domesticated but this was one of these [TS]

  women that was wearing like a navajo [TS]

  coat and a and a wide brim like outback [TS]

  style hat with a with a bunch of buckles [TS]

  on it and so she had obviously a pretty [TS]

  high opinion of herself and she had a [TS]

  mountain lion on a leash and I just I [TS]

  cross to the other side of the street I [TS]

  was like as you do [TS]

  the sidewalks are yours and she was kind [TS]

  of a legendary character i guess in [TS]

  Telluride for a while but yeah these [TS]

  cats sometimes extremely colorful John [TS]

  like it this tell you what [TS]

  but these can you know they're like as [TS]

  you as you move higher up the cat ladder [TS]

  you get some smartass cats who but I [TS]

  wouldn't trust a kamiak at those long [TS]

  legged cats like the first word that I [TS]

  did not want to use in describing a cat [TS]

  is tall [TS]

  I don't want to hear about at all cat I [TS]

  don't want to see a tall cat and those [TS]

  cats you know they can they walk in and [TS]

  they've got coyote legs [TS]

  oh they did that thing is these are [TS]

  these animals lightly it's like we're [TS]

  describing with the crows of the records [TS]

  or whatever you can tell when an animal [TS]

  is a domestic animal [TS]

  yeah because it looks stupid yeah and it [TS]

  looks like it wants to make you happy [TS]

  for no particular reason or it looks low [TS]

  key you can see because Candice dole [TS]

  witness and you pull out the laser [TS]

  pointer or you're playing little mouse [TS]

  on our magic wand to make it entertain [TS]

  you for a while [TS]

  here's here's the thing that I [TS]

  understand this is everything I know [TS]

  about cats it basically in a sense is [TS]

  that the way that we have cats in our [TS]

  house that don't kill us the first [TS]

  chance to get is that we keep them in [TS]

  finalized you keep a cat kitten if you [TS]

  never let a kitten get beyond kitten [TS]

  this it will mostly be okay and not kill [TS]

  you in your sleep [TS]

  yeah and if you don't outdoor cat can [TS]

  burn off a lot of that wild animal [TS]

  energy and then again it brings homer [TS]

  and stuff like that but mostly that's [TS]

  that's with cats and dogs it's a [TS]

  combination of breeding and then [TS]

  continuing to treat them like somebody [TS]

  who always knows where their next meal [TS]

  is coming from and never has any [TS]

  challenges like that [TS]

  yeah although this fat of this fat go [TS]

  like golden cat that has been living in [TS]

  my backyard for the last couple of years [TS]

  has a has a kind of outdoor cat savvy [TS]

  and I told you about the possum that's [TS]

  living under my house now have an eye [TS]

  I was advising not gonna bring it up by [TS]

  you saw you mentioned on twitter and I [TS]

  was immediately terrified for everyone [TS]

  involved [TS]

  there's a possum living under my house [TS]

  and i'm not a hundred percent thrilled [TS]

  about it and the other day I was lying [TS]

  in bed and I heard the possum in the [TS]

  wall [TS]

  I was like okay all right we gotta get [TS]

  you found a way in [TS]

  he did it and I'm like we got to get you [TS]

  out of here and I and I want to I so I [TS]

  went online and I looked in there are [TS]

  all kinds of like possum protection [TS]

  societies who say things like don't hurt [TS]

  the possum or skerritt or even trap it [TS]

  or anything you just want to lead the [TS]

  possum out you want to win you want to [TS]

  wait until the possum comes out which it [TS]

  will surely do at night and then in the [TS]

  middle in the middle of the night you [TS]

  should go out and seal up all the [TS]

  entrances to your house under the house [TS]

  where the possum gets in and then the [TS]

  possible just find somewhere else to be [TS]

  shuts that sounds to me like somebody [TS]

  who came up with that has never actually [TS]

  tried it [TS]

  that's the theory and the theory but [TS]

  what I discovered was that cats outdoor [TS]

  cats that have some natural savvy and [TS]

  possums have a kind of professional [TS]

  courtesy for one another and they will [TS]

  eat out of the same bowl at the same [TS]

  time and it when they encounter each [TS]

  other in the wild or in the backyard the [TS]

  wild of my backyard they just like tip [TS]

  their hats to one another and say [TS]

  counselor counselor like spooks right so [TS]

  i like-like-like operatives operatives [TS]

  right now they need to they need to not [TS]

  you know cause dust-up and have been mix [TS]

  them up out here in the yard we need to [TS]

  keep things mellow yeah they got [TS]

  projects actually courtesy the cat is [TS]

  trying to eat [TS]

  uh maybe let's say moles and throughs [TS]

  and the possum is trying to crickets and [TS]

  slugs and maybe also shrews I mean you [TS]

  know I think there's a little bit of [TS]

  overlap but anyway so I so when I [TS]

  realized the possum was going in and out [TS]

  of this hole in my house [TS]

  I of course turned off all the lights [TS]

  and sat in a chair just staff in your [TS]

  lap facing the whole wasn't just someone [TS]

  who's night goggles because i wanted to [TS]

  know I let my eyes accustomed to the [TS]

  dark [TS]

  we outside you like sit on the porch [TS]

  well the first night I SAT where I could [TS]

  look through a glass door at the hole [TS]

  and then the second night I opened the [TS]

  door so that I had a clear view i was [TS]

  still sitting inside but I was sitting [TS]

  in the dark facing the hole through the [TS]

  open door until uh until a friend came [TS]

  and they were like are you just trying [TS]

  to get the possum to come in the house I [TS]

  was like no I feel I feel like if the [TS]

  possum like entered the house I would [TS]

  stand up and make it aware of me but [TS]

  anyway so I'm sitting I'm watching the [TS]

  hole and then so I'm being quiet [TS]

  along comes the fat cat that lives in my [TS]

  backyard the cat sets up station sitting [TS]

  on a like a sitting on a on a picnic [TS]

  bench outside and the cat sits down on [TS]

  the picnic bench and is staring at the [TS]

  whole too and I'm like so we sit there [TS]

  in silence the cat is not aware that i'm [TS]

  there i SAT there for like 10 minutes [TS]

  and I'm staring at this cat the cat is [TS]

  staring at the possum hall and we're [TS]

  waiting we're waiting for the freaking [TS]

  thing to arrive and I feel like I I was [TS]

  offended because like i've been i've [TS]

  been a generous host to this cat have [TS]

  allowed him to set in my backyard I've [TS]

  never once gotten the wrist rocket out [TS]

  and sent a marble up his butt and and [TS]

  now here is he's just waiting for his [TS]

  friend to show up and they're gonna [TS]

  being perfidious he should be more [TS]

  loyalty do you think he's in league with [TS]

  the possum [TS]

  I feel like the cat should like have [TS]

  kept the possum from living always looks [TS]

  like he should just casually Menace the [TS]

  possum enough to make it inconvenient to [TS]

  live under your house [TS]

  yeah because I we fucking are going [TS]

  through the nest or something going [TS]

  maybe turning stuff up and down teehee [TS]

  the possums chili or something like that [TS]

  so you mess with a little bit exactly [TS]

  like i have i've been host to this cat [TS]

  eye every time I see him in the yard iku [TS]

  to him and I say cats originally John [TS]

  rising it like this time we got them [TS]

  when i first bought the house the people [TS]

  that lived in the house before me had [TS]

  allowed rap [TS]

  to invade the whole my roof and so when [TS]

  I first bought the house one of the [TS]

  first things I had to do was put on a [TS]

  hazmat suit and go up into the attic [TS]

  with a shop vac the loudest thing that [TS]

  man has ever invented a shopback is [TS]

  louder than an f15 and i'm in a hot and [TS]

  sweaty crawlspace with us with a with a [TS]

  hazmat suit on a shot back and I am shop [TS]

  backing up all of the rap to try to us [TS]

  and i got like 25 bags of insulation out [TS]

  of the roof of my house that I felt had [TS]

  been contaminated by rats by their [TS]

  pellets [TS]

  yeah and their rat urine and there r & [TS]

  eyelashes [TS]

  oh and they don't have to trim their [TS]

  nails up there all that stuff that ends [TS]

  up in Chile in other countries [TS]

  insulation 25 bags of insulation and [TS]

  brat junk that I put out by the curb and [TS]

  this is your word to the wise the [TS]

  garbage man came by I'm standing there [TS]

  next to the stuff the garbage man shows [TS]

  up and I was like hey guy i got like a [TS]

  little bit over the over the one can one [TS]

  bag limit here at 25 bags full of this [TS]

  garbage [TS]

  what we gotta do how do we work this out [TS]

  the garbage man said he had twenty bucks [TS]

  sounds like I got I got twenty bucks [TS]

  that's a really good deal [TS]

  he was an amazing deal and I gave him 20 [TS]

  bucks and he didn't even want me to hold [TS]

  uh-huh come in the he was like I got it [TS]

  and then the garbage went away so this [TS]

  whole business now if you if you go and [TS]

  you read the manual it says like every [TS]

  extra bag over your one bag is twenty [TS]

  dollars or something like that [TS]

  this was i was looking at i was looking [TS]

  at six hundred dollars what all was said [TS]

  and done to take this stuff to the dump [TS]

  or without many people by the way [TS]

  there's hazmat stuff here and this is [TS]

  totally gross stuff don't but I mean [TS]

  he's garbage man he's like yeah it's all [TS]

  gross stuff I don't want to look at [TS]

  anybody's garbage [TS]

  except if it's full of like vintage [TS]

  Barry Bonds [TS]

  vintage bearer bonds or I had a friend [TS]

  who was a garbage man actually for a [TS]

  while and he said that the old garbage [TS]

  men like the guys that have been doing [TS]

  it for a long time they all had photo [TS]

  albums full of homemade porn and it's a [TS]

  garbage man thing you're looking for [TS]

  Polaroids of people who used to at least [TS]

  be looking for Polaroids of people in [TS]

  there altogether having doing you know [TS]

  doing weird things because before [TS]

  digital before digital cameras huh [TS]

  the only way you could do it did you [TS]

  wouldn't have it processed would have to [TS]

  have a process you could make and so all [TS]

  these guys one of the things that all of [TS]

  us really secretly deeply fear in our [TS]

  hearts is actually worse than we thought [TS]

  haha people people do what your amateur [TS]

  porn and the garbage man who go through [TS]

  garbage to getting home and being and [TS]

  the thing is out there somewhere there [TS]

  are all these sixty-five-year-old [TS]

  garbageman and they all have somewhere [TS]

  in there crawl space multiple photo [TS]

  albums full of what is essentially the [TS]

  history of Polaroid porn the history of [TS]

  home it it should be in the library of [TS]

  fucking Congress the stuff where the ken [TS]

  burns for Polaroid porn [TS]

  yeah but no one has ever no one is even [TS]

  aware that it exists that no one has [TS]

  gone around and surveyed all the old [TS]

  garbage men around the country and said [TS]

  listen we know you've got some freaky [TS]

  shit we'd like it would like it all in [TS]

  one place at the Museum at the museo de [TS]

  garbageman and come on come out of the [TS]

  woodwork like what's let's have you do [TS]

  one of those public radio kind of things [TS]

  we're always trying to say hey if you're [TS]

  done with your car if you're about to [TS]

  die [TS]

  leave us some stuff the vintage Polaroid [TS]

  museo could just say anonymously [TS]

  listen we don't care we don't care who [TS]

  it came from we just want to get code [TS]

  and we want the port [TS]

  yeah they would come in the wait a [TS]

  minute value-added they will clean the [TS]

  porn out after you die [TS]

  so when you die your family will not [TS]

  have to see all your horrible your your [TS]

  family will never know your family [TS]

  doesn't need to know there's no no she [TS]

  should die an honorable man and in this [TS]

  case it's a service where you get you [TS]

  get a dedicated maybe a bonding agent [TS]

  somebody who you can trust to get all of [TS]

  you know what here's the value-add if [TS]

  you've got if you've got retail German [TS]

  dungeon porn [TS]

  we will take care of that too but the [TS]

  thing is it's got to be it's gotta be [TS]

  annotated like with like the point have [TS]

  the annotated rights right and then so [TS]

  what we need an army of interns but of [TS]

  course the intern laws have changed so [TS]

  we have to we have to get a grant of [TS]

  some kind to pay for them but they need [TS]

  to they need to be cataloging and [TS]

  scanning this in think of the resource [TS]

  that a website with all of guard all the [TS]

  garbage man porn from around the world [TS]

  wait a minute think about the porn that [TS]

  German garbage men have it literally [TS]

  covered with shit think about that think [TS]

  about the photo albums that gardens just [TS]

  from stuff in the background just from [TS]

  stuff like you know my eye I'm not super [TS]

  into porn but i do love looking at the [TS]

  backgrounds and I think you could learn [TS]

  so much about the history of a society [TS]

  from we're naked people SAT still for a [TS]

  while yeah their shoes the televisions [TS]

  in the background all the I mean you [TS]

  know like out the window you see the [TS]

  Berlin Wall coming down like there's a [TS]

  lot of there's a lot of history there's [TS]

  a lot of history that's just being [TS]

  that's just being wasted squandered [TS]

  those guys are dying their wives are [TS]

  finding that stuff they're going through [TS]

  gross and they're throwing them into the [TS]

  garbage but modern garbage men are [TS]

  probably not searching the garbage for [TS]

  corn like governor of the terrible [TS]

  independent film in this somewhere but [TS]

  you know what is going on in the things [TS]

  you want to give these people [TS]

  you want to give these people [TS]

  their anonymity you want to give them [TS]

  maybe a code name but it would be nice [TS]

  to know [TS]

  see this is the trouble with big data is [TS]

  you probably will be eventually be able [TS]

  to figure out that you always Karl that [TS]

  will analyze these photos right it has [TS]

  too bad they have to start dying and i [TS]

  think the garbageman probably a lot of [TS]

  them die young because they're like [TS]

  sucking on rap dumb of full lives hard [TS]

  work [TS]

  oh my gosh that's miserable um so I'm [TS]

  gonna I've captured that here that we [TS]

  need to have some kind of a museum for [TS]

  that so you went up into your wearing [TS]

  hazmat suit and you gotta shop back [TS]

  alright so i cleaned out a house all of [TS]

  that and so nice and I feel like so i [TS]

  made the house wrap proof for the most [TS]

  part at the time that resistant [TS]

  resistant and i added to the mix a [TS]

  couple of cats my dad's cat puppy was [TS]

  living with me at the time and puppy was [TS]

  a white a long haired white cat who [TS]

  actually was a ferocious Raptor and then [TS]

  I had my young cat Lewis who was [TS]

  learning how to wrap from puppy and you [TS]

  know we clean out all the rat stuff but [TS]

  then there were some rats that still [TS]

  thought that this was their turf or [TS]

  whatever and so the two cats then really [TS]

  cleaned up Dodge City and there were no [TS]

  rats around [TS]

  I mean I ever for a row about six months [TS]

  there seven years ago I would see some [TS]

  dead rats out in the street and I think [TS]

  that puppy didn't even allow rats to die [TS]

  on my property puppy-like was Japanese [TS]

  done until the rats off the property [TS]

  that's right so then no rent no rats for [TS]

  four years and years and years and puppy [TS]

  is gone and Lewis is gone but this red [TS]

  cat I feel like has the has inherited [TS]

  the responsibility and then I saw this [TS]

  hole under the house and it had been a [TS]

  hole before and that I had filled [TS]

  thought it wasn't it was a it's a it's [TS]

  it's a new hole and it was a big hole [TS]

  bigger than a rat and I thought that the [TS]

  redcat was using the whole and i [TS]

  actually saw the redcat go in the hole [TS]

  one time so I was like okay this is a [TS]

  cat hole and he's making a famous famous [TS]

  back at whole like the kind of place [TS]

  where in a min inch and young children's [TS]

  fiction where a cat might go to have [TS]

  kittens [TS]

  yeah the cats under the house the cat is [TS]

  taking care of it if there's mean I [TS]

  don't mind Academy of the houses as long [TS]

  as it's you know not climbing the walls [TS]

  are peeing on everything [TS]

  now it turns out it's a possum hole and [TS]

  the cat is sitting out in the backyard [TS]

  watching the possum hall with me and [TS]

  eventually before the possum arrived [TS]

  this particular night I couldn't keep it [TS]

  inside anymore and I said hey and the [TS]

  cap you know startled looks over at me [TS]

  and I'm like what the fuck [TS]

  like seriously what are you doing [TS]

  I I put a lot of trust in you and the [TS]

  cat is like really eyeballing me now [TS]

  because he will freak out cats don't [TS]

  like that when you just like being [TS]

  confronted like that [TS]

  yeah when you're sitting staring a hole [TS]

  with them for 15 minutes and they're not [TS]

  aware you're there and uh and so i [TS]

  thought i gave him a good talking to [TS]

  like you know I I i entrust you to keep [TS]

  uh I could to keep marsupials out of the [TS]

  basement and and now you're just sitting [TS]

  here like waiting from to show up and [TS]

  you guys going to get a milkshake or [TS]

  something and eventually the cat-like [TS]

  couldn't take it couldn't take the heat [TS]

  uh-huh and and split and i never did see [TS]

  the possum that night so it's really [TS]

  seems like he might be working with him [TS]

  i mean i don't i don't wanna say cuz [TS]

  that's not that's not unkind thing to [TS]

  say about it [TS]

  the yard cat but it kind of feels like [TS]

  he might have been like like think maybe [TS]

  that possums the boss now I'm a little [TS]

  bit worried about that i'm a little bit [TS]

  worried about exactly that and I don't [TS]

  want like like top dog in my backyard is [TS]

  not a possum cat [TS]

  well not Academy more cats been demoted [TS]

  so wrong i suggested the Savannah eat [TS]

  the Savannah cat I'm sorry I misspoke [TS]

  it's up to 20 1822 thousand dollars is [TS]

  what it costs and here's the thing is [TS]

  you can stop options and they are rated [TS]

  f1 f2 f3 through f5 depending on what [TS]

  percentage of servile they have are they [TS]

  like tornadoes where f5 is the best or [TS]

  they like like know everything that [TS]

  everyone is just like Deftones I see ya [TS]

  everybody gets it backwards if you get [TS]

  an f1 you get yourself an f1 and like a [TS]

  light of this is this is not gonna be [TS]

  cheap you get yourself an f1 and you're [TS]

  guaranteed a Savannah cat is over fifty [TS]

  three percent survival you can just read [TS]

  it's a breeder right you're not going to [TS]

  pay twenty two thousand dollars for [TS]

  catholic and i think he wants and papers [TS]

  and provenance to know what you're [TS]

  looking at you're looking at a cat that [TS]

  might be around 30 pounds its long leg [TS]

  it's adapted you can get along with [TS]

  children [TS]

  mike is 30 pounds wow [TS]

  but you can walk around on a leash well [TS]

  here's what you're looking at you're [TS]

  looking at and it seems like quite a [TS]

  spread i'm at the a1 Savannah's calm [TS]

  here so I don't have invented these [TS]

  numbers we are at for f1 male you're [TS]

  looking at twelve to twenty two thousand [TS]

  dollars for every one female you're [TS]

  looking at twelve to thirty five [TS]

  thousand dollars because I guess you [TS]

  could breed them but i think i could I [TS]

  just want to say I i think that picture [TS]

  changes if you're walking around at [TS]

  night with a half wild animal while [TS]

  you're carrying a staff I think I think [TS]

  there's gonna be some changes in the way [TS]

  those animals look at you gonna say [TS]

  you're serious [TS]

  their first of all that you've [TS]

  demonstrated you can get along with with [TS]

  a half wild animal already and get it on [TS]

  a leash [TS]

  yeah the thing is it in my neighborhood [TS]

  if I start walking around with a long [TS]

  legged cat you basically at all cat on a [TS]

  leash [TS]

  yeah I had better also be wearing a fur [TS]

  homburg right like I'm not I'm not gonna [TS]

  just walk around Yusei be culturally [TS]

  insensitive Vivian and I'm a white a [TS]

  white any rock guy walking with the cat [TS]

  I'm not gonna have a tall cat on a leash [TS]

  and just be wearing some filson jacket [TS]

  right because you gotta digits [TS]

  yeah you gonna be ripping a certain [TS]

  lifestyle and in Jennifer home burgers [TS]

  that is the minimum of like how much how [TS]

  fly you would have to be to be pulling [TS]

  off at all cat [TS]

  ok here's the other thing is like let's [TS]

  let's for a moment set aside the price [TS]

  of getting an f1 savannah cat and I [TS]

  think this changes completely if you [TS]

  have two of them if let go in San [TS]

  Francisco [TS]

  what if you had to what you had to [TS]

  savannah cats on leashes walking around [TS]

  you [TS]

  oh my god it would be worth the 50000 [TS]

  dollars because you would be legendary [TS]

  I mean I'll you incredibly weird [TS]

  expensive cats that act like dogs [TS]

  I would need an ankle length fur coat [TS]

  fur hopper to savannah cats on a leash [TS]

  and like a diamond-tipped walking stick [TS]

  sword cane you would be you would be [TS]

  like a magic user that would be a good [TS]

  look [TS]

  are you kidding me that would be [TS]

  dynamite Seattle would not be big enough [TS]

  for two hold me problems you couldn't [TS]

  really couldn't be could rock that look [TS]

  in a place like Los Angeles you would [TS]

  have to move to a like jackson hole [TS]

  wyoming yeah if you're going to if [TS]

  you're gonna wear full of an [TS]

  ankle-length for code and have to [TS]

  savannah cats on a leash [TS]

  you're gonna need to live in in a resort [TS]

  town telluride Jackson Hole you know [TS]

  like that at the outside thing i guess [TS]

  so i guess i'm thinking i'm thinking [TS]

  comics I think of things in common like [TS]

  soccer or the watchman there's there's a [TS]

  great tradition of scary dudes with [TS]

  giant fucking cats you know like like [TS]

  what's-his-name in the watching he's got [TS]

  a giant a giant giant cat III think [TS]

  that's like a lap cat write it like he [TS]

  doesn't know his cat it's like it it's [TS]

  really really really big it's an [TS]

  artificially I'm here's what I'm saying [TS]

  John I'm not saying you should become a [TS]

  supervillain I think either [TS]

  you should be perceived as a [TS]

  supervillain but I think you're gonna [TS]

  get a lot of respect from other [TS]

  reprobates if you if you have to [TS]

  describe costume into very large cats i [TS]

  think so too but I mean I really i'm i'm [TS]

  increasingly concerned about like like [TS]

  this is the thing sometimes sometimes in [TS]

  my neighborhood I will go by somebody's [TS]

  house and they will have a really [TS]

  expensive car who and the house is yeah [TS]

  nothing [TS]

  yeah and you go like right okay so when [TS]

  you're in the car and you're rolling [TS]

  around you're repping a certain high [TS]

  style [TS]

  yeah but you better not ever bring [TS]

  anybody home [TS]

  it's like it's it you you put all your [TS]

  you put all your ducks in one car basket [TS]

  in one car basket [TS]

  um and I you know I feel like everything [TS]

  that you rep at every level has to be co [TS]

  measure it with all the other things [TS]

  they rapin you can't you can't just rep [TS]

  you can't you can't be off the scale in [TS]

  one department and then let everything [TS]

  slack that makes sense it's a kind of [TS]

  bizarre personality compartmentalization [TS]

  like you don't want to have to have this [TS]

  one thing you hope everybody looks at [TS]

  and then oh by the way don't look at all [TS]

  this over here right now so sense if you [TS]

  come into my house and you're like this [TS]

  guy's kind of a weird a collector of [TS]

  things and sort of it's not you know [TS]

  he's not all the way to like if you go [TS]

  into a man's house like going up the [TS]

  stairs there are 25 Santa Claus dolls [TS]

  from that 19th century that are all made [TS]

  of bone china and super creepy who and [TS]

  it's like right i'm in Michael Penn and [TS]

  aimee mann's house of course there are [TS]

  creepy Santa's everywhere and if you say [TS]

  something like I just happened and you [TS]

  know in the kitchen there are a bunch of [TS]

  paintings of US presidents and if you [TS]

  comment on them you realize that oh amy [TS]

  has painted [TS]

  all of those Wow and she's very good and [TS]

  she just picks a president and paints [TS]

  paints the President and then it goes up [TS]

  on the kitchen wall it's like right [TS]

  these people are living a very very high [TS]

  level of meeting expectations like I'm [TS]

  going to aimee mann cells and Michael [TS]

  pens house what's it going to be like I [TS]

  hope it's not a tract house out in [TS]

  pasadena right and then you realize that [TS]

  no it is a tutor home and it is full of [TS]

  I said to them at one point I was like [TS]

  you know the only thing that this house [TS]

  is missing are some like Napoleon hats [TS]

  like you need some feathered Napoleon [TS]

  hats and Michael pen stands up grabs my [TS]

  hand leads me into the next room and [TS]

  points up to the top of the bookshelf [TS]

  where there are 10 feathered Napoleon [TS]

  and I was just like well okay then I'll [TS]

  see myself [TS]

  James set match right like they are [TS]

  living to measure it with your [TS]

  expectations that they do not disappoint [TS]

  and if you come into my house and you [TS]

  look around you know there are no there [TS]

  there [TS]

  I have just not lived long enough for [TS]

  vibrantly enough to have 10 Napoleon [TS]

  hats but they're they're definitely like [TS]

  if you if you see the things that are in [TS]

  my house and then you think to yourself [TS]

  I hope that the person that owns these [TS]

  things has some opinions about things I [TS]

  would hate it if this guy would just [TS]

  have no opinions about anything right [TS]

  then you will find that I the the [TS]

  opinions i have about things match the [TS]

  number of kooky cookie globes that are [TS]

  under my piece not so different from [TS]

  going back if you have says good going [TS]

  back to the guy who puts all the meat [TS]

  stickers in is in his diary like you [TS]

  don't want to become you don't become [TS]

  like an intellectual fetishist or a [TS]

  cultural fetishes you don't become just [TS]

  the one person who like is covered with [TS]

  tattoos like it's not that interesting [TS]

  right now you don't become the one [TS]

  person who just has a room in their [TS]

  house dedicated to Elvis like that [TS]

  doesn't seem well rounded it doesn't [TS]

  seem actually all that interesting [TS]

  artistic a bunch of out like salt [TS]

  shakers that look like owls for instance [TS]

  well I mean it'd be nice to have but you [TS]

  think we should be a leveling [TS]

  among all your quirkiness that supports [TS]

  a larger personality well you remember [TS]

  you remember the story I told about the [TS]

  guy that had a bunch of tattoos and then [TS]

  we went we were going on a beer run and [TS]

  we went out to his car and it was a [TS]

  two-wheel drive toyota pickup and I was [TS]

  like you're ready you're repping a whole [TS]

  thing here that he had that the absolute [TS]

  minimum car i was expecting you to drive [TS]

  would be a 72 el camino i right ok but I [TS]

  was I really expected a 65 GTO is it [TS]

  anything your dad would give you when [TS]

  you go to college [TS]

  yeah you're telling me this is a [TS]

  two-wheel drive toyota king cab pickup [TS]

  like no sir no sir [TS]

  shame shame shame so yeah I don't feel [TS]

  like if you if you have if you have [TS]

  crossed checkered flags on a on a circle [TS]

  of fire tattoo on forearm don't drive a [TS]

  toyota of any kind [TS]

  it's just it just doesn't it just [TS]

  doesn't square and I feel like I feel [TS]

  like we each of us have to we have to [TS]

  like measure the degree of commitment [TS]

  that we have to who we are and then make [TS]

  sure that everything lines up right [TS]

  yeah sure also you know you have to [TS]

  wonder about you know any solution or [TS]

  perceived solution to a problem that [TS]

  involves adding more animals because i [TS]

  think i think that doesn't always end [TS]

  well [TS]

  no no no everyone thing to say like you [TS]

  could borrow like a litter of vicious [TS]

  cats for a little while but you don't [TS]

  have to be taking care of those cats [TS]

  because then the dander gets into your [TS]

  system and pretty soon you're not [TS]

  thinking straight [TS]

  and this is where I feel like the chin [TS]

  chilla is the real hack listening the [TS]

  chinchilla is the super happy because a [TS]

  chinchilla is hypoallergenic look at [TS]

  that little face a chinchilla does not [TS]

  have dander it's not it's not an elk [TS]

  allergic animal it's like it looks like [TS]

  kind of like a small rabbit that's [TS]

  actually a mouse right it's a small [TS]

  around if it's actually a mouse that's [TS]

  exactly right and very fuzzy it's [TS]

  because he's got short manageable hair [TS]

  it's so soft because what is the what is [TS]

  the nicest for jacket you can buy it's a [TS]

  chinchilla and this is a live one of [TS]

  those [TS]

  they are incredibly chill little dudes [TS]

  easy to own naughty not expensive to own [TS]

  easy to care for and yet it's a [TS]

  chinchilla it's not like a guinea pig or [TS]

  a mouse or something so it wraps a lot [TS]

  it fights all up at a much higher weight [TS]

  because it's technically an exotic thing [TS]

  so you can be a kook only chinchilla but [TS]

  the chinchilla itself is like a very [TS]

  manageable the word is that the word is [TS]

  it out on Csilla ownership I think maybe [TS]

  these are amazing I mean especially if [TS]

  you get a really big one we kind of need [TS]

  if you'd probably like that you would [TS]

  get a lot of people going what is that [TS]

  what the fuck is good and forever kind [TS]

  of looks like a rat it kinda looks like [TS]

  a guinea pig [TS]

  it kind of looks like a bunny it kind of [TS]

  looks like a mouse and then you really [TS]

  and probably big that could really that [TS]

  would be super fun things then you put [TS]

  in your arms and it has that softness [TS]

  where it's like improbably soft like you [TS]

  cannot maintain a bad mood while you're [TS]

  holding a chinchilla and you're never [TS]

  going to sneeze either like it's that [TS]

  it's the best of all possible worlds i [TS]

  feel like the tension out imagine [TS]

  walking down the street with a couple of [TS]

  big chinchillas on a leash like to look [TS]

  at that pretty pretty small legs they do [TS]

  I mean you wouldn't it wouldn't be a [TS]

  long walk like they did you just [TS]

  carrying it though like again like a [TS]

  superplex just gently putting your chin [TS]

  chilla in a white suit but you're gonna [TS]

  want an extra hand for your staff is the [TS]

  problem i know i feel like i feel like [TS]

  if you had a chinchilla what you would [TS]

  be doing as you'd be sitting in a baby [TS]

  sitting in a bind the desk in a big [TS]

  chair in a darkened room and you just be [TS]

  putting in June chilla and people would [TS]

  be coming and asking you for favors on [TS]

  the day of your daughter's what [TS]

  initialization disrespect [TS]