Roderick on the Line

00:00:00 ◼   ► this very special bonus episode of [TS]

00:00:01 ◼   ► Roderick online is sponsored by cards [TS]

00:00:03 ◼   ► against humanity they asked us not to [TS]

00:00:05 ◼   ► read an ad so hey just enjoy the show [TS]

00:00:07 ◼   ► [Music] [TS]

00:00:13 ◼   ► ladies and gentlemen welcome to verdi [TS]

00:00:15 ◼   ► club how we all doing tonight [TS]

00:00:19 ◼   ► SF sketchfest proudly presents Roderick [TS]

00:00:23 ◼   ► on the line [TS]

00:00:28 ◼   ► you're listening to a live performance [TS]

00:00:30 ◼   ► of Roger online that was recorded on [TS]

00:00:33 ◼   ► january 23rd 2015 at very club in San [TS]

00:00:36 ◼   ► Francisco as part of the SF sketchfest [TS]

00:00:38 ◼   ► comedy festival thanks to kill Stratton [TS]

00:00:42 ◼   ► for inviting us to very club for hosting [TS]

00:00:44 ◼   ► us and a very club stage manager robert [TS]

00:00:47 ◼   ► west for recording and introducing us [TS]

00:00:49 ◼   ► somebody put some index cards on our [TS]

00:00:52 ◼   ► stage some notes next is going on [TS]

00:01:00 ◼   ► it's going great i'm in san francisco [TS]

00:01:01 ◼   ► which is amazing I've sort of perfected [TS]

00:01:05 ◼   ► this career path of going places where I [TS]

00:01:08 ◼   ► don't really get paid very much to [TS]

00:01:11 ◼   ► entertain people with my lifeblood [TS]

00:01:13 ◼   ► basically spilling it out on the stage [TS]

00:01:16 ◼   ► night after night exposure and I was [TS]

00:01:20 ◼   ► thinking about it being good exposure [TS]

00:01:21 ◼   ► the other day and then I realized i'm [TS]

00:01:22 ◼   ► i'm dying and you owe me if you're near [TS]

00:01:27 ◼   ► dying exposures what you want to avoid [TS]

00:01:29 ◼   ► right that's like what you're out too [TS]

00:01:31 ◼   ► long in the cold right you're fucking [TS]

00:01:32 ◼   ► dead that's exposure right right right [TS]

00:01:34 ◼   ► yeah avoid that I was just a inside [TS]

00:01:36 ◼   ► under a blanket like a gentleman i was [TS]

00:01:38 ◼   ► sitting in mice the shower of my hotel [TS]

00:01:40 ◼   ► room today one of those hotel rooms that [TS]

00:01:43 ◼   ► doesn't have a bathtub [TS]

00:01:44 ◼   ► ah so basically you know that it's a [TS]

00:01:47 ◼   ► hotel room made out of shipping [TS]

00:01:48 ◼   ► containers [TS]

00:01:50 ◼   ► it's this new fashion right no no [TS]

00:01:53 ◼   ► bathtubs what bathtubs are for old [TS]

00:01:54 ◼   ► people are for people with the psoriasis [TS]

00:01:57 ◼   ► sometimes SMS their doors or windows [TS]

00:01:59 ◼   ► were like yeah what was the one ace yes [TS]

00:02:02 ◼   ► you got an ace and it's more like a [TS]

00:02:04 ◼   ► scrim yeah the the agency had this drop [TS]

00:02:07 ◼   ► a really serious deuce inside the ACE [TS]

00:02:09 ◼   ► you would smell it two rooms and need [TS]

00:02:12 ◼   ► direction all of those hotels presume [TS]

00:02:15 ◼   ► that you are there with your you you [TS]

00:02:18 ◼   ► were there on the like 3rd weekend of [TS]

00:02:19 ◼   ► your new relationship and you want to [TS]

00:02:21 ◼   ► watch the other person shower and shit [TS]

00:02:23 ◼   ► right yeah I love her so much and what [TS]

00:02:27 ◼   ► they call it the tray just one yeah [TS]

00:02:28 ◼   ► that's right there and we're going [TS]

00:02:31 ◼   ► downtown buddy i just want to see her [TS]

00:02:33 ◼   ► just like shave under her arms and yeah [TS]

00:02:36 ◼   ► just like with no self conscious the [TS]

00:02:38 ◼   ► shine [TS]

00:02:40 ◼   ► wow yeah so I'm sitting in the shower [TS]

00:02:44 ◼   ► and of course I'm doing what I do when [TS]

00:02:45 ◼   ► I'm in the shower which is imagining [TS]

00:02:47 ◼   ► what if our alien overlords finally did [TS]

00:02:52 ◼   ► come appoint me as the human spokesman [TS]

00:02:54 ◼   ► and what I would ask in return and I [TS]

00:02:59 ◼   ► think what I would first ask is that [TS]

00:03:01 ◼   ► they go over meat head to toe with some [TS]

00:03:03 ◼   ► kind of scanner that takes away all the [TS]

00:03:05 ◼   ► cancer and the proto cancer and proto [TS]

00:03:09 ◼   ► cancer and and and whatever else all the [TS]

00:03:12 ◼   ► protozoan that have come in to my meet [TS]

00:03:15 ◼   ► all the thetans all the feelings that [TS]

00:03:19 ◼   ► are in me and then you know some minor [TS]

00:03:21 ◼   ► mahdi minor body modification that would [TS]

00:03:23 ◼   ► be simple for them to do right I've [TS]

00:03:25 ◼   ► always felt like I you know all my [TS]

00:03:27 ◼   ► height is in my face from the waist up [TS]

00:03:29 ◼   ► and I've always felt like [TS]

00:03:31 ◼   ► proportionately i have a my legs are [TS]

00:03:33 ◼   ► disproportionate to my torso and so [TS]

00:03:36 ◼   ► right just a little it's just it's one [TS]

00:03:38 ◼   ► of these even a little bit hard on [TS]

00:03:39 ◼   ► yourself it's one of these things that [TS]

00:03:41 ◼   ► are you alive that bad [TS]

00:03:42 ◼   ► no it's not it's not it's not gruesome [TS]

00:03:44 ◼   ► it's like if and until you pointed out [TS]

00:03:48 ◼   ► your like Dorf I mean like it's like if [TS]

00:03:50 ◼   ► you pointed out now if you look at me [TS]

00:03:52 ◼   ► thinking John because I'm pretty fucking [TS]

00:03:53 ◼   ► shortly well this is and this is that [TS]

00:03:55 ◼   ► what it does it gives me a low center of [TS]

00:03:57 ◼   ► gravity it makes me very difficult to [TS]

00:03:58 ◼   ► tackle have short everything have a [TS]

00:04:00 ◼   ► short torso i have short legs short [TS]

00:04:02 ◼   ► everything you have a long penis though [TS]

00:04:04 ◼   ► yes [TS]

00:04:05 ◼   ► but it's mainly the circumference right [TS]

00:04:07 ◼   ► right yeah I've seen it right so I think [TS]

00:04:10 ◼   ► we've been friends for a long time [TS]

00:04:12 ◼   ► yeah John i spent a lot of time in our [TS]

00:04:14 ◼   ► underwear continuously got pair [TS]

00:04:16 ◼   ► programming Merlin introduced the [TS]

00:04:20 ◼   ► concept to me as let me show you what is [TS]

00:04:22 ◼   ► on netflix yeah and i will let the [TS]

00:04:25 ◼   ► marathon of free-balling what's netflix [TS]

00:04:28 ◼   ► Merlin let's make them some butter so so [TS]

00:04:33 ◼   ► anyway I would have the aliens just you [TS]

00:04:35 ◼   ► know extend my leg by a couple of [TS]

00:04:37 ◼   ► centimeters just put me in proportion [TS]

00:04:39 ◼   ► that's nothing for them that's a [TS]

00:04:40 ◼   ► rounding error it's just a work and if [TS]

00:04:43 ◼   ► I'm gonna be standing up in front of all [TS]

00:04:44 ◼   ► humanities saying on behalf of our alien [TS]

00:04:47 ◼   ► overlords here's the plan [TS]

00:04:49 ◼   ► quid pro quo I want to look right bring [TS]

00:04:51 ◼   ► it yeah and then what you know some [TS]

00:04:54 ◼   ► other minor modification what I want [TS]

00:04:55 ◼   ► that front tooth back [TS]

00:04:57 ◼   ► yeah and how hard is that gonna be for [TS]

00:04:59 ◼   ► them right you correct your vision [TS]

00:05:00 ◼   ► because you like glasses [TS]

00:05:02 ◼   ► that's a really good question yeah you [TS]

00:05:04 ◼   ► could still have glasses i get asked [TS]

00:05:07 ◼   ► this a lot why don't you get surgery [TS]

00:05:08 ◼   ► uh-huh [TS]

00:05:10 ◼   ► I mean we had surgery to fix every [TS]

00:05:11 ◼   ► little problem why don't you get eye [TS]

00:05:13 ◼   ► surgery we gotta grow old with and I [TS]

00:05:15 ◼   ► don't you get that surgery where they [TS]

00:05:17 ◼   ► had two centimeters to your leg but I've [TS]

00:05:18 ◼   ► read about this i had a friend had a [TS]

00:05:21 ◼   ► friend elementary school they did that [TS]

00:05:22 ◼   ► to her oh she was nearly elfin she was [TS]

00:05:26 ◼   ► tiny not in the Middle Earth way she was [TS]

00:05:29 ◼   ► a little girl [TS]

00:05:30 ◼   ► mmm that's so and she was not really [TS]

00:05:36 ◼   ► super normative she was not growing in [TS]

00:05:38 ◼   ► the way they had anticipated she was off [TS]

00:05:39 ◼   ► the graph and there's apparently some [TS]

00:05:41 ◼   ► kind of horrific medieval 1970 surgery [TS]

00:05:44 ◼   ► where they could stretch your bone yeah [TS]

00:05:46 ◼   ► right they would like that rivers colon [TS]

00:05:48 ◼   ► surgery right they give you an [TS]

00:05:49 ◼   ► exoskeleton and then every day they [TS]

00:05:51 ◼   ► would they would turn the knob right and [TS]

00:05:54 ◼   ► it was just like neca reparation yeah [TS]

00:05:57 ◼   ► yeah and then you get a little bit [TS]

00:05:58 ◼   ► taller but not a lot i don't think they [TS]

00:06:00 ◼   ► can add like six inches to you but you [TS]

00:06:01 ◼   ► you're already pretty tall [TS]

00:06:03 ◼   ► it seems to me that just maybe standoffs [TS]

00:06:04 ◼   ► images not big no-no nothing that would [TS]

00:06:07 ◼   ► take away the essential John this but [TS]

00:06:09 ◼   ► how do you have that missing tooth along [TS]

00:06:11 ◼   ► with that [TS]

00:06:11 ◼   ► well i still have it it's just that I [TS]

00:06:12 ◼   ► have some [TS]

00:06:14 ◼   ► I just have some kind of like the [TS]

00:06:16 ◼   ► opposite of someone on hija [TS]

00:06:17 ◼   ► I like you have a cosmetic i want i went [TS]

00:06:20 ◼   ► into ikea and bought one of those [TS]

00:06:21 ◼   ► Chinese screens and cut it down and then [TS]

00:06:23 ◼   ► like a little bit think bone stuck it in [TS]

00:06:26 ◼   ► know this tooth that's in the center [TS]

00:06:28 ◼   ► here is just is just held in with epoxy [TS]

00:06:31 ◼   ► no seriously it wasn't so much its epoxy [TS]

00:06:36 ◼   ► between the duties so many foods how is [TS]

00:06:38 ◼   ► it in there i have drained myself to not [TS]

00:06:40 ◼   ► eat with that too [TS]

00:06:42 ◼   ► you're like my daughter with the missing [TS]

00:06:43 ◼   ► teeth to go around you like I going and [TS]

00:06:45 ◼   ► yeah I don't ya I'm not strategy i'm a [TS]

00:06:50 ◼   ► night [TS]

00:06:51 ◼   ► yeah i think it's an easy sell I think [TS]

00:06:53 ◼   ► aliens come in they want an insider and [TS]

00:06:55 ◼   ► they are going to just roll out the red [TS]

00:06:57 ◼   ► carpet whatever it is but I said this [TS]

00:06:58 ◼   ► before but i think it's going to be a [TS]

00:06:59 ◼   ► little bit of like you know throwing the [TS]

00:07:01 ◼   ► head of three the whip type situation [TS]

00:07:02 ◼   ► you're gonna have to get some of the [TS]

00:07:04 ◼   ► locals involves some of the natives [TS]

00:07:05 ◼   ► little bit little fixes little bit [TS]

00:07:08 ◼   ► Superman you know you are this audience [TS]

00:07:12 ◼   ► especially has watched as watched enough [TS]

00:07:15 ◼   ► x-men comic books [TS]

00:07:20 ◼   ► right to know Nick dependent to know [TS]

00:07:25 ◼   ► that a certain point you go grab any [TS]

00:07:29 ◼   ► raccoon and you nail him to a board and [TS]

00:07:31 ◼   ► you change his skeleton and then he [TS]

00:07:34 ◼   ► becomes friends with the tree and and [TS]

00:07:37 ◼   ► then you've been reading wikipedia and [TS]

00:07:40 ◼   ► this they scare up some trouble in the [TS]

00:07:43 ◼   ► universe and I feel like I feel like if [TS]

00:07:45 ◼   ► they can do that to a raccoon why [TS]

00:07:46 ◼   ► wouldn't they do it to an already [TS]

00:07:47 ◼   ► eighty-six percent specimen like myself [TS]

00:07:50 ◼   ► right right start with like start with a [TS]

00:07:53 ◼   ► good baseline see first here's the thing [TS]

00:07:57 ◼   ► first there was gonna want to do [TS]

00:07:58 ◼   ► whatever it takes to keep you alive if [TS]

00:07:59 ◼   ► you're the emissary right they need you [TS]

00:08:02 ◼   ► there they trust you for some reason [TS]

00:08:03 ◼   ► would you know would you know before [TS]

00:08:05 ◼   ► they do the treatments would you know if [TS]

00:08:07 ◼   ► they had already given you tasks to find [TS]

00:08:09 ◼   ► out the extent to which you are able to [TS]

00:08:10 ◼   ► be the emissary then how will you know [TS]

00:08:13 ◼   ► they know they know it's not that they [TS]

00:08:15 ◼   ► trust me it's that they trust that you [TS]

00:08:17 ◼   ► trust me Grasso they're not scanning me [TS]

00:08:21 ◼   ► they're scanning you [TS]

00:08:23 ◼   ► yes who do we trust and then they are [TS]

00:08:26 ◼   ► saying this name keeps coming up John [TS]

00:08:30 ◼   ► Rowley clubs or yeah there's a lot like [TS]

00:08:33 ◼   ► we don't trust John water and we don't [TS]

00:08:35 ◼   ► like him he's so tall but everybody [TS]

00:08:39 ◼   ► seems to say like all the people we [TS]

00:08:40 ◼   ► admire most all the all the computer [TS]

00:08:43 ◼   ► maths people who are gonna you know [TS]

00:08:46 ◼   ► we're going to help us keep the the [TS]

00:08:47 ◼   ► hydroelectric projects running all seem [TS]

00:08:49 ◼   ► to listen to this one podcast so we [TS]

00:08:52 ◼   ► better we better bioengineer the one guy [TS]

00:08:55 ◼   ► into like a super super human [TS]

00:08:58 ◼   ► that's what I'm just speculating it [TS]

00:09:01 ◼   ► sells itself [TS]

00:09:02 ◼   ► yeah so that's what i was doing today [TS]

00:09:05 ◼   ► sitting in the Charmin a lot of people [TS]

00:09:06 ◼   ► masturbate in the shower I might never [TS]

00:09:08 ◼   ► end never understood that [TS]

00:09:10 ◼   ► masturbating in the shower love [TS]

00:09:12 ◼   ► masturbating the shower thing seems like [TS]

00:09:13 ◼   ► a real key rail [TS]

00:09:15 ◼   ► it's just it's just it's one of those [TS]

00:09:16 ◼   ► things like playing quarters we're like [TS]

00:09:18 ◼   ► if you really need a game to drink seems [TS]

00:09:20 ◼   ► pretty weird i really like to enjoy more [TS]

00:09:23 ◼   ► of this alcohol but i cannot pass the [TS]

00:09:25 ◼   ► coin like you can masturbate literally [TS]

00:09:28 ◼   ► anywhere [TS]

00:09:29 ◼   ► do you remember that this is a darkroom [TS]

00:09:33 ◼   ► people do you remember the first time [TS]

00:09:38 ◼   ► you had sex in a hot tub and remember [TS]

00:09:40 ◼   ► the first time I tried me right right [TS]

00:09:43 ◼   ► now this is you know this is this is the [TS]

00:09:45 ◼   ► this is the quickest version of snipe [TS]

00:09:47 ◼   ► hunting we say that like smiling right [TS]

00:09:49 ◼   ► everyone stop funding and you go [TS]

00:09:51 ◼   ► no but I'm gee whiz I sure i'm willing [TS]

00:09:52 ◼   ► to try it take this sack you run out in [TS]

00:09:55 ◼   ► the woods and such and you catch a snipe [TS]

00:09:57 ◼   ► asking somebody that nobody has ever had [TS]

00:10:00 ◼   ► sex in a hot tub that is my pieces [TS]

00:10:02 ◼   ► well it turns out the way to have sex in [TS]

00:10:04 ◼   ► a hot tub is to have sex just out of a [TS]

00:10:06 ◼   ► hot tub [TS]

00:10:07 ◼   ► all right have to just get the sex parts [TS]

00:10:11 ◼   ► just above the water yes [TS]

00:10:13 ◼   ► the water's been treated there's redwood [TS]

00:10:15 ◼   ► a terrible idea why would you why would [TS]

00:10:17 ◼   ► you do that it's great because it seems [TS]

00:10:19 ◼   ► so sexy when you are just starting [TS]

00:10:22 ◼   ► having sex there's a lot of things that [TS]

00:10:24 ◼   ► seem really sexy when you start having [TS]

00:10:26 ◼   ► sex that just just leave them on the [TS]

00:10:29 ◼   ► dresser do not touch him don't do it but [TS]

00:10:31 ◼   ► there's so many of those a good friend [TS]

00:10:34 ◼   ► of mine said that she finds any [TS]

00:10:37 ◼   ► representation of sex in a shower to be [TS]

00:10:41 ◼   ► repulsive and I was like any [TS]

00:10:44 ◼   ► representation [TS]

00:10:45 ◼   ► what about that one where the octopus is [TS]

00:10:47 ◼   ► having sex with the girl [TS]

00:10:49 ◼   ► the Japanese comic book and she was like [TS]

00:10:54 ◼   ► I haven't seen that I was [TS]

00:10:55 ◼   ► on my way over [TS]

00:11:00 ◼   ► you know what it is it's a failure of [TS]

00:11:02 ◼   ► imagination right lack of exposure [TS]

00:11:06 ◼   ► yeah I don't know people having sex too [TS]

00:11:08 ◼   ► many places in the marijuana [TS]

00:11:10 ◼   ► what a mess haha oh yeah that marijuana [TS]

00:11:16 ◼   ► oh you know it used to be that you could [TS]

00:11:18 ◼   ► reliably have a live podcast in an [TS]

00:11:21 ◼   ► italian social hall in front of a bunch [TS]

00:11:22 ◼   ► of nerds in san francisco and be [TS]

00:11:24 ◼   ► confident that none of them had ever had [TS]

00:11:26 ◼   ► sex or smoke marijuana they're saving [TS]

00:11:30 ◼   ► themselves right but now I feel like [TS]

00:11:32 ◼   ► everybody in this place is probably [TS]

00:11:34 ◼   ► baked they're probably having [TS]

00:11:37 ◼   ► intercourse with the doobie right now [TS]

00:11:38 ◼   ► yeah and while they're there all baked [TS]

00:11:39 ◼   ► and they're probably finger banging the [TS]

00:11:41 ◼   ► person sitting next one is no question [TS]

00:11:43 ◼   ► man or woman why not friday night [TS]

00:11:45 ◼   ► surgery it's rare let's do it if we met [TS]

00:11:50 ◼   ► know these kids today [TS]

00:11:54 ◼   ► the reason I don't you like some reason [TS]

00:11:55 ◼   ► I don't use uber I was having this [TS]

00:11:57 ◼   ► conversation earlier today I used uber [TS]

00:11:58 ◼   ► one time because i believe and i believe [TS]

00:12:01 ◼   ► in the concept of uber it's a disruptive [TS]

00:12:03 ◼   ► technology and you know how i feel about [TS]

00:12:06 ◼   ► this run their knowledge that is really [TS]

00:12:08 ◼   ► hard I just want it i detect technology [TS]

00:12:11 ◼   ► isn't disruptive I got no time for you [TS]

00:12:15 ◼   ► know what it is it's [TS]

00:12:15 ◼   ► counter-revolutionary its counter [TS]

00:12:17 ◼   ► disruptive revolutionary but not them [TS]

00:12:19 ◼   ► the other ones is low we called legacy [TS]

00:12:21 ◼   ► industries the legacy industries were [TS]

00:12:22 ◼   ► carrying like a baby [TS]

00:12:24 ◼   ► we should all be out there trying the [TS]

00:12:25 ◼   ► truly revolutionary disruptive companies [TS]

00:12:27 ◼   ► when the legacy industry looks back on [TS]

00:12:29 ◼   ► the beach and they see one set of tire [TS]

00:12:31 ◼   ► prints it's me scurrying like a fucking [TS]

00:12:33 ◼   ► baby it's okay cabbie we're good so i [TS]

00:12:39 ◼   ► used uber one time and I was like I [TS]

00:12:42 ◼   ► looked at my uber that i downloaded the [TS]

00:12:44 ◼   ► app and I was already insulted it blinks [TS]

00:12:49 ◼   ► you had apps the blimp I because I [TS]

00:12:52 ◼   ► learned it starts to go just like that [TS]

00:12:55 ◼   ► shut up not doing anything poop and then [TS]

00:12:57 ◼   ► it said oh you have to go from you know [TS]

00:12:59 ◼   ► point A to point B is going to cost [TS]

00:13:01 ◼   ► thirty bucks and I was like okay good [TS]

00:13:02 ◼   ► let's like let's do it and then I made [TS]

00:13:05 ◼   ► the fatal error I was like you know what [TS]

00:13:06 ◼   ► actually I want to suburban i wanted i [TS]

00:13:10 ◼   ► don't know I shall require a suburban i [TS]

00:13:13 ◼   ► don't i don't wanna make this trip in a [TS]

00:13:14 ◼   ► previous i see that there is a suburban [TS]

00:13:16 ◼   ► option and I'm going to take it and then [TS]

00:13:18 ◼   ► somewhere in the transaction some kind [TS]

00:13:23 ◼   ► of surge pricing came in and by the end [TS]

00:13:27 ◼   ► of the thing and then you know the guy [TS]

00:13:28 ◼   ► is very nice and he gives you two [TS]

00:13:30 ◼   ► bottles of dasani water that you toss [TS]

00:13:31 ◼   ► immediately out the window [TS]

00:13:33 ◼   ► why because the sunny water is just coke [TS]

00:13:35 ◼   ► water full of salt and impurities asked [TS]

00:13:38 ◼   ► her what kind of animal haha Iraq who [TS]

00:13:42 ◼   ► are tracking a dead raccoon you're [TS]

00:13:45 ◼   ► welcome mom and so so then the bill [TS]

00:13:49 ◼   ► comes what like a day later or two days [TS]

00:13:51 ◼   ► later somebody $225 want me to drive [TS]

00:13:54 ◼   ► across town during some kind of search [TS]

00:13:55 ◼   ► surge pricing some sort of serve because [TS]

00:13:58 ◼   ► surge and I was just like this is [TS]

00:14:00 ◼   ► bullshit fuck this company how was the [TS]

00:14:02 ◼   ► suburban was it nice my superb yeah [TS]

00:14:05 ◼   ► leather seats shocking i had to do a [TS]

00:14:09 ◼   ► thing to go to Portland last weekend and [TS]

00:14:12 ◼   ► 48 port 1 i'm not saying they said do [TS]

00:14:15 ◼   ► you want us to get you the airport I [TS]

00:14:16 ◼   ► said no problem i'll just get an uber [TS]

00:14:18 ◼   ► and an important nuber is just like a [TS]

00:14:25 ◼   ► green subaru outback like a 17-hour an [TS]

00:14:28 ◼   ► 89 subaru outback right yeah that's [TS]

00:14:30 ◼   ► being pulled by six fixes are not Santa [TS]

00:14:34 ◼   ► everybody's got fucking neck tattoos and [TS]

00:14:37 ◼   ► Macklemore haircut [TS]

00:14:39 ◼   ► whatever [TS]

00:14:44 ◼   ► now now i know seriously what we're [TS]

00:14:45 ◼   ► doing in Portland why are you say don't [TS]

00:14:47 ◼   ► have over there they don't have over [TS]

00:14:49 ◼   ► when you can't pump your own gas works [TS]

00:14:50 ◼   ► out well I know that only remember all [TS]

00:14:53 ◼   ► that you know Portland shot him down [TS]

00:14:54 ◼   ► portland is the last place where Maoist [TS]

00:14:57 ◼   ► job work work programs are still in [TS]

00:14:59 ◼   ► effect that it is it working it seems [TS]

00:15:02 ◼   ► like people are doing pretty well people [TS]

00:15:03 ◼   ► keep moving there [TS]

00:15:04 ◼   ► yes very flat they keep moving there and [TS]

00:15:07 ◼   ► they work at a gas station and then they [TS]

00:15:09 ◼   ► graduate to like the dreamcatcher [TS]

00:15:10 ◼   ► factory and they work work their way up [TS]

00:15:13 ◼   ► but it's not a hierarchical system there [TS]

00:15:15 ◼   ► ma'am can I get to be a hog waxer you [TS]

00:15:19 ◼   ► can you can become a Macklemore shiner [TS]

00:15:21 ◼   ► you can just move all the way up joint [TS]

00:15:23 ◼   ► roller fixing analyst joint roller to [TS]

00:15:25 ◼   ► the mayor jim joint roller to the mayor [TS]

00:15:28 ◼   ► to bracket you know Portland is an [TS]

00:15:31 ◼   ► amazing place and I guy I give it a lot [TS]

00:15:33 ◼   ► of shit because uh because it feels like [TS]

00:15:35 ◼   ► us like a younger sibling that hasn't [TS]

00:15:38 ◼   ► really been to college yet or it's like [TS]

00:15:42 ◼   ► Seattle it's like if Seattle had never [TS]

00:15:43 ◼   ► gotten this ass kicked [TS]

00:15:45 ◼   ► yeah well no Portland got its ass kicked [TS]

00:15:47 ◼   ► it's like if Seattle's balls never drop [TS]

00:15:50 ◼   ► oh right which is amazing but I mean I [TS]

00:15:53 ◼   ► can't really talk about that they're in [TS]

00:15:55 ◼   ► there but we can't find them [TS]

00:15:56 ◼   ► yeah that's my one of the conditions and [TS]

00:15:59 ◼   ► its really it's a really nice town [TS]

00:16:01 ◼   ► what were you doing there I can't say [TS]

00:16:02 ◼   ► are you so cryptic about your job why [TS]

00:16:04 ◼   ► are you so asking about questions [TS]

00:16:06 ◼   ► Jesus when I first met Merlin he had a [TS]

00:16:12 ◼   ► pc thats [TS]

00:16:15 ◼   ► you know and I his job was riding [TS]

00:16:22 ◼   ► computer maths uh for the like the early [TS]

00:16:27 ◼   ► internet which was some kind of thing [TS]

00:16:29 ◼   ► where you like you did the little when [TS]

00:16:31 ◼   ► you met me I had a pc and my job was [TS]

00:16:34 ◼   ► writing computer mass for the N yeah you [TS]

00:16:36 ◼   ► did the little you're like would you [TS]

00:16:38 ◼   ► like a website what if a little man came [TS]

00:16:39 ◼   ► out carrying a flag and said you know [TS]

00:16:41 ◼   ► like hey click attracted little animated [TS]

00:16:45 ◼   ► gif gifs and it's been a gov hag and now [TS]

00:16:52 ◼   ► whenever I ask you about your job or [TS]

00:16:54 ◼   ► what you're doing you're like me sorry [TS]

00:16:56 ◼   ► can't talk about it [TS]

00:16:57 ◼   ► need-to-know information John need to [TS]

00:16:59 ◼   ► know yeah those are crazy days I am [TS]

00:17:03 ◼   ► it was so fun to be there for you [TS]

00:17:09 ◼   ► haltingly accepting the idea the [TS]

00:17:12 ◼   ► internet might exist and then having to [TS]

00:17:14 ◼   ► slowly so slowly confront what it might [TS]

00:17:18 ◼   ► mean if you actually looked at it and [TS]

00:17:20 ◼   ► got involved in it because you were I [TS]

00:17:22 ◼   ► mean not exaggerated but you were pretty [TS]

00:17:24 ◼   ► skeptical about every aspect of it still [TS]

00:17:27 ◼   ► and now know you're so excited now [TS]

00:17:30 ◼   ► you're loving it [TS]

00:17:31 ◼   ► I the truth be told I go on twitter i go [TS]

00:17:37 ◼   ► on what a some other day when i go on at [TS]

00:17:41 ◼   ► ebay because sometimes there are belt [TS]

00:17:44 ◼   ► buckles there [TS]

00:17:45 ◼   ► and then sometimes i go on the I go on [TS]

00:17:49 ◼   ► the google and-and-and like a google [TS]

00:17:52 ◼   ► questions about the seahawks to try and [TS]

00:17:56 ◼   ► figure out what everybody's yelling [TS]

00:17:57 ◼   ► about [TS]

00:17:58 ◼   ► but the football team I'm very happy [TS]

00:18:01 ◼   ► about them while hate crime down you are [TS]

00:18:04 ◼   ► you of what are you what's your feeling [TS]

00:18:09 ◼   ► on something other than one of those [TS]

00:18:10 ◼   ► little moo-cows that when you turn it on [TS]

00:18:14 ◼   ► you like a 49ers fan [TS]

00:18:20 ◼   ► oh I bleed whatever their colors are up [TS]

00:18:24 ◼   ► i assume is how we would have to be a [TS]

00:18:30 ◼   ► 49ers fan because Wow [TS]

00:18:34 ◼   ► Oh settle down you think you're better [TS]

00:18:36 ◼   ► than me you sound like a cowboys fan [TS]

00:18:44 ◼   ► think you're better than me [TS]

00:18:45 ◼   ► nighters on the local team you have [TS]

00:18:52 ◼   ► football's so I but i know i'm very [TS]

00:18:56 ◼   ► excited about it because of the [TS]

00:18:57 ◼   ► athleticism and has competitive spirit [TS]

00:18:59 ◼   ► dynamism and the it's an opportunity for [TS]

00:19:02 ◼   ► tribalism which is a thing i'm very [TS]

00:19:04 ◼   ► interested in branding and I was just I [TS]

00:19:08 ◼   ► was just in Africa [TS]

00:19:11 ◼   ► um I'm not signaling we will be doing [TS]

00:19:13 ◼   ► i'm not saying on the tribalism I'm [TS]

00:19:15 ◼   ► segwaying on the i'll take it how big i [TS]

00:19:19 ◼   ► want to know I want to know what one [TS]

00:19:20 ◼   ► privileged white man learned from going [TS]

00:19:21 ◼   ► to Africa I'm I i I'm segwaying on the [TS]

00:19:26 ◼   ► i'm sorry i was just hope that my talent [TS]

00:19:28 ◼   ► when I wanna when when we're doing our [TS]

00:19:30 ◼   ► podcast sometimes I play with the bill [TS]

00:19:32 ◼   ► you do that really did it doesn't make [TS]

00:19:33 ◼   ► any noise I just I just do this and I [TS]

00:19:37 ◼   ► started doing that I don't know it's not [TS]

00:19:39 ◼   ► okay right [TS]

00:19:40 ◼   ► um I i was there and i realized that [TS]

00:19:44 ◼   ► there are no people in the US armed [TS]

00:19:47 ◼   ► forces from the west coast or the east [TS]

00:19:51 ◼   ► coast they are all from Texas and [TS]

00:19:53 ◼   ► Georgia like they pulled the plug on [TS]

00:19:58 ◼   ► georgia and all the soldiers everybody's [TS]

00:20:00 ◼   ► from there and they are a lot of them [TS]

00:20:02 ◼   ► stationed in california but their [TS]

00:20:04 ◼   ► football loyalties are all four teams [TS]

00:20:08 ◼   ► that are in the american south blvd [TS]

00:20:11 ◼   ► atlanta peaches [TS]

00:20:12 ◼   ► yep the Dallas dustbowl yeah the the [TS]

00:20:15 ◼   ► Florida swamps [TS]

00:20:17 ◼   ► arkansas apologies so I was there [TS]

00:20:20 ◼   ► Alabama reparations i was there in the [TS]

00:20:22 ◼   ► West Virginia no we're not Virginia [TS]

00:20:24 ◼   ► there is no west virginia football team [TS]

00:20:28 ◼   ► yeah sure you get the coal mining coal [TS]

00:20:31 ◼   ► miners daughter haha they have a giant [TS]

00:20:34 ◼   ► Loretta Lynn carrier yeah they're little [TS]

00:20:36 ◼   ► butt brother can take a hit [TS]

00:20:39 ◼   ► um I'll come on you come up that way you [TS]

00:20:44 ◼   ► know what they're made of tough stuff [TS]

00:20:45 ◼   ► those girls [TS]

00:20:47 ◼   ► yeah anyway so I'm there and I'm like [TS]

00:20:48 ◼   ► well seahawks right and I was just [TS]

00:20:51 ◼   ► greeted with i mean i was already [TS]

00:20:52 ◼   ► greeted with a wall of military like [TS]

00:20:55 ◼   ► hula hula who are right but no there [TS]

00:20:58 ◼   ► were no Seahawks fans i was very soon [TS]

00:21:00 ◼   ► not at all [TS]

00:21:01 ◼   ► oh just it was I mean I guess everybody [TS]

00:21:03 ◼   ► hates the Patriots right haha for this [TS]

00:21:08 ◼   ► this i'm really really pandering to this [TS]

00:21:10 ◼   ► audience on what's up with their heads [TS]

00:21:12 ◼   ► up with their team new england i right [TS]

00:21:15 ◼   ► thanks Obama wear their clothes are [TS]

00:21:20 ◼   ► primarily white football [TS]

00:21:25 ◼   ► thanks for coming tonight was my [TS]

00:21:27 ◼   ► pleasure [TS]

00:21:29 ◼   ► it's a great place to do this this is [TS]

00:21:31 ◼   ► amazing i want to take your fabric i [TS]

00:21:32 ◼   ► wanna hear about the rains down in [TS]

00:21:33 ◼   ► africa the weekend here i did not know [TS]

00:21:35 ◼   ► what we were walking into here but what [TS]

00:21:37 ◼   ► I was surprised that was I assumed every [TS]

00:21:39 ◼   ► italian social club had a big white [TS]

00:21:41 ◼   ► wedding cake on the stage at all times [TS]

00:21:43 ◼   ► right i want to have the personality [TS]

00:21:45 ◼   ► Spencer just keeps popping back up but [TS]

00:21:47 ◼   ► where's the freaking cake and Mama comes [TS]

00:21:50 ◼   ► up to sing and unknown and i feel like [TS]

00:21:53 ◼   ► these chandeliers are very similar to [TS]

00:21:55 ◼   ► the chandelier that hung over our dining [TS]

00:21:58 ◼   ► room table in the 70s those in a smaller [TS]

00:22:01 ◼   ► version hungover every rental home in [TS]

00:22:03 ◼   ► Florida in the nineteen eighties is a [TS]

00:22:05 ◼   ► little bit like very reminiscent yeah [TS]

00:22:07 ◼   ► this this this place is amazing it is [TS]

00:22:10 ◼   ► really it's been affected by every [TS]

00:22:13 ◼   ► problematic design problem with the last [TS]

00:22:15 ◼   ► 60 years and yet the photos the ladies [TS]

00:22:17 ◼   ► room is upstairs [TS]

00:22:18 ◼   ► you're welcome and there are some [TS]

00:22:19 ◼   ► amazing photos on the wall it's [TS]

00:22:21 ◼   ► fantastic well and this green velvet [TS]

00:22:23 ◼   ► green though i just bought a green [TS]

00:22:29 ◼   ► velvet suit on ebay really i'm amazed I [TS]

00:22:33 ◼   ► was on there looking at belt buckle and [TS]

00:22:36 ◼   ► i love it and i don't know what you know [TS]

00:22:38 ◼   ► I don't know what happened i click the [TS]

00:22:39 ◼   ► hyperlink it was a you know it was x.x [TS]

00:22:44 ◼   ► HTML [TS]

00:22:45 ◼   ► yes of valid happened down and suddenly [TS]

00:22:50 ◼   ► i was looking at green velvet suits and [TS]

00:22:51 ◼   ► I was like that was my size and I just [TS]

00:22:53 ◼   ► bought it just spontaneously which is [TS]

00:22:55 ◼   ► why I shouldn't go on ebay and it came [TS]

00:22:57 ◼   ► in the mail and it fits and I feel like [TS]

00:22:59 ◼   ► a couch and I'm like I'm so happy and I [TS]

00:23:05 ◼   ► almost thought about it almost thought [TS]

00:23:07 ◼   ► about wearing a tutu the show but then I [TS]

00:23:09 ◼   ► felt like it [TS]

00:23:10 ◼   ► that's not really a travel suit you know [TS]

00:23:12 ◼   ► like yeah right like you get you're [TS]

00:23:13 ◼   ► traveling you're you're wearing down the [TS]

00:23:15 ◼   ► velvet now that that's an in-situ at [TS]

00:23:19 ◼   ► home kind of soup do you wear that you [TS]

00:23:21 ◼   ► wear that I mean the problem is that a [TS]

00:23:22 ◼   ► lot of people and i'm sure people in [TS]

00:23:23 ◼   ► this room have made this mistake you [TS]

00:23:25 ◼   ► think green belt is a Christmas right [TS]

00:23:27 ◼   ► it's not accurate but you don't want to [TS]

00:23:29 ◼   ► wear your green velvet suit on Christmas [TS]

00:23:31 ◼   ► or Easter that is just too on the note [TS]

00:23:33 ◼   ► on the nest yeah you want to wear your [TS]

00:23:35 ◼   ► green velvet suit to say [TS]

00:23:37 ◼   ► the Rotary Club meeting or while you're [TS]

00:23:41 ◼   ► reading bible verses to the girl didn't [TS]

00:23:43 ◼   ► hurt man tension on the elliptical my [TS]

00:23:51 ◼   ► man dungeon [TS]

00:23:53 ◼   ► I love it so you're not so Luke says [TS]

00:23:57 ◼   ► you'll notice that they have they have [TS]

00:23:59 ◼   ► the nineteen eighties are deco like pho [TS]

00:24:03 ◼   ► art deco chandeliers [TS]

00:24:05 ◼   ► yeah but on the stage they replaced the [TS]

00:24:07 ◼   ► analog lights with digital lights yeah [TS]

00:24:10 ◼   ► it's it's it was like leds right they [TS]

00:24:13 ◼   ► are led to the green like the stage [TS]

00:24:16 ◼   ► they're all the colors all the colors of [TS]

00:24:18 ◼   ► the rainbow if the rainbow has three [TS]

00:24:20 ◼   ► color and it creates a very lifelike a [TS]

00:24:27 ◼   ► glow if you live in an operating room I [TS]

00:24:32 ◼   ► it feels a little bit hall of presidents [TS]

00:24:33 ◼   ► to me wow well it's like it's like in [TS]

00:24:36 ◼   ► the leg put this 10 and it's not a mean [TS]

00:24:38 ◼   ► way but like if every town has like the [TS]

00:24:40 ◼   ► nice community theater and the other one [TS]

00:24:41 ◼   ► and that one decided to have the challah [TS]

00:24:43 ◼   ► president has a show for the whole [TS]

00:24:45 ◼   ► president yes are you talking about is [TS]

00:24:47 ◼   ► that that's the show at chuck-e-cheese [TS]

00:24:48 ◼   ► right where they play banjos right [TS]

00:24:50 ◼   ► Calvin Coolidge i will not be remembered [TS]

00:24:53 ◼   ► when bus your tray but this is you know [TS]

00:24:58 ◼   ► these things these LED lights they are [TS]

00:25:00 ◼   ► really solving a problem that it's like [TS]

00:25:02 ◼   ► solving a non-problem I feel like yeah [TS]

00:25:04 ◼   ► I'm against in general [TS]

00:25:07 ◼   ► LED lights in my own home I am very much [TS]

00:25:11 ◼   ► like many things in our culture today [TS]

00:25:12 ◼   ► very much in favor of you doing it if [TS]

00:25:16 ◼   ► that's what turns you on [TS]

00:25:17 ◼   ► yes you want to have if you want to [TS]

00:25:18 ◼   ► change your lightbulbs or two LEDs and I [TS]

00:25:20 ◼   ► don't want to be one of these people [TS]

00:25:21 ◼   ► that's like has a conspiracy theory [TS]

00:25:23 ◼   ► website talking about well I can't [TS]

00:25:25 ◼   ► frankly i do but i can help you with [TS]

00:25:26 ◼   ► that but I don't want it to be about I [TS]

00:25:29 ◼   ► don't want to get it to be about light [TS]

00:25:30 ◼   ► bulbs obviously it's gonna be about [TS]

00:25:31 ◼   ► chemtrails to keep your powder dry but [TS]

00:25:34 ◼   ► this whole led thing it just feels like [TS]

00:25:36 ◼   ► that whole thing that we've it's like [TS]

00:25:37 ◼   ► recycling paper towels or whatever we're [TS]

00:25:39 ◼   ► talking about 15 years ago it's like [TS]

00:25:41 ◼   ► really paper towels really see I was you [TS]

00:25:43 ◼   ► I'd all the whole recycling thing that's [TS]

00:25:45 ◼   ► gonna like Penn Jillette but I I don't [TS]

00:25:47 ◼   ► understand how that is viable [TS]

00:25:50 ◼   ► someone drives around a fucking truck [TS]

00:25:52 ◼   ► picks up your Rolling Rock bottles and [TS]

00:25:55 ◼   ► then what does that get made into a park [TS]

00:25:56 ◼   ► bench like a helmet like what happens [TS]

00:25:58 ◼   ► with that gets made into helmet [TS]

00:26:00 ◼   ► have you noticed how many kids are [TS]

00:26:02 ◼   ► wearing helmets now glass helmet haha [TS]

00:26:04 ◼   ► class 10 mile of glass helmet my [TS]

00:26:08 ◼   ► cyclists there from there from homburg [TS]

00:26:11 ◼   ► means gutenberg sound I I this is the [TS]

00:26:15 ◼   ► thing when i was a kid [TS]

00:26:16 ◼   ► no kids wore helmets know what was the [TS]

00:26:19 ◼   ► crucifer you the first time you saw [TS]

00:26:20 ◼   ► somebody in a helmet [TS]

00:26:21 ◼   ► I it was about read his friend died for [TS]

00:26:24 ◼   ► not working on it was a back then our [TS]

00:26:26 ◼   ► heads would explode like melons and we [TS]

00:26:28 ◼   ► thought it was part of the process [TS]

00:26:30 ◼   ► the old man is standing on a car seat [TS]

00:26:32 ◼   ► when people wore helmets were test [TS]

00:26:34 ◼   ► pilots and cops like my motorcycle cops [TS]

00:26:36 ◼   ► right right and now I was in park slope [TS]

00:26:39 ◼   ► i'm not very long ago in like the kids [TS]

00:26:40 ◼   ► wearing helmets in the grocery store and [TS]

00:26:45 ◼   ► it's part of the pits pits Brooklyn it's [TS]

00:26:47 ◼   ► part of the problem but it's happening [TS]

00:26:48 ◼   ► here to I'd must be yeah I got mixed [TS]

00:26:51 ◼   ► feelings [TS]

00:26:52 ◼   ► I got mixed feelings because on the one [TS]

00:26:53 ◼   ► hand like I wish you could be a little [TS]

00:26:55 ◼   ► kid in a very very heavy pontiac like [TS]

00:26:58 ◼   ► standing on the seat while your father [TS]

00:27:00 ◼   ► drives and smokes that's an indelible [TS]

00:27:02 ◼   ► wonderful memory for me lot of problems [TS]

00:27:04 ◼   ► with it [TS]

00:27:05 ◼   ► let's be honest what was the first time [TS]

00:27:07 ◼   ► somebody went around the corner and the [TS]

00:27:09 ◼   ► door opened and you fell out [TS]

00:27:10 ◼   ► well how many times I mean that's just [TS]

00:27:13 ◼   ► how you do [TS]

00:27:14 ◼   ► yeah yeah one time we lost my sister [TS]

00:27:16 ◼   ► right out the door and fortunately it [TS]

00:27:20 ◼   ► was like into a patch of gravel and so [TS]

00:27:22 ◼   ► she just she's she's an athlete she [TS]

00:27:25 ◼   ► patio lid and roll and I think she was [TS]

00:27:27 ◼   ► crying mostly because she was startled [TS]

00:27:30 ◼   ► what what block it off Susan you're [TS]

00:27:33 ◼   ► gonna write your dad just listen to big [TS]

00:27:35 ◼   ► band music really loud [TS]

00:27:37 ◼   ► no that was my mom's car actually uh you [TS]

00:27:39 ◼   ► know that that was one of the my mom's [TS]

00:27:41 ◼   ► car she had a Dodge daughter dodge dart [TS]

00:27:43 ◼   ► swinger and unfortunately I think what [TS]

00:27:46 ◼   ► her version of reality was that we hung [TS]

00:27:49 ◼   ► on the doors and swung on the doors and [TS]

00:27:53 ◼   ► ruined the hinges or something [TS]

00:27:55 ◼   ► now I don't ever remember a single time [TS]

00:27:57 ◼   ► swinging on the door sounds like you but [TS]

00:28:01 ◼   ► I mean think about how fun that is [TS]

00:28:04 ◼   ► it's just a one-way trip and it's pretty [TS]

00:28:06 ◼   ► short like you can't really like where [TS]

00:28:07 ◼   ► am I going [TS]

00:28:08 ◼   ► bonk yeah so I don't remember doing it [TS]

00:28:11 ◼   ► but mom always swore that the doors were [TS]

00:28:13 ◼   ► sprung that was the terms you use these [TS]

00:28:15 ◼   ► doors are sprung their sprung because [TS]

00:28:18 ◼   ► you hung on them and swung around you [TS]

00:28:20 ◼   ► remember when you started wearing [TS]

00:28:21 ◼   ► seatbelts remember this here's the thing [TS]

00:28:23 ◼   ► i don't remember seatbelts being in cars [TS]

00:28:25 ◼   ► i remember we bought a car that went [TS]

00:28:27 ◼   ► beep when you sat in it without putting [TS]

00:28:29 ◼   ► Suppan my mom took it the Pontiac [TS]

00:28:31 ◼   ► dealership and disconnect and reconnect [TS]

00:28:32 ◼   ► could just shut off that Deeping up my [TS]

00:28:36 ◼   ► recollection is that top saving my [TS]

00:28:38 ◼   ► family start and starting in about [TS]

00:28:41 ◼   ► nineteen eighty-eight I had a very clear [TS]

00:28:44 ◼   ► sense that you wore a seatbelt in [TS]

00:28:46 ◼   ► european cars but not in American cars [TS]

00:28:51 ◼   ► that's back when European cars came with [TS]

00:28:55 ◼   ► an O God handle right american cars did [TS]

00:28:57 ◼   ► not at night right if you got a German [TS]

00:28:58 ◼   ► car or you know if you have japanese [TS]

00:29:00 ◼   ► crack any kind of like an import car [TS]

00:29:01 ◼   ► they would they were way more swinging [TS]

00:29:03 ◼   ► on the road he kind of needed that [TS]

00:29:05 ◼   ► yeah you have to hold on to something [TS]

00:29:06 ◼   ► enables 80 runs from pwc have little [TS]

00:29:08 ◼   ► straps you hang onto of course yeah [TS]

00:29:11 ◼   ► oh my god the times other times i have [TS]

00:29:12 ◼   ► hanging onto the strap of everybody [TS]

00:29:14 ◼   ► everybody inside is intoxicated from the [TS]

00:29:16 ◼   ► gas fumes [TS]

00:29:18 ◼   ► it's the gas from the heater right the [TS]

00:29:20 ◼   ► gas it's not the gas from the motor [TS]

00:29:21 ◼   ► because that's behind but the [TS]

00:29:22 ◼   ► gas-powered heater that's right under [TS]

00:29:23 ◼   ► than I my bus had an engine in the back [TS]

00:29:25 ◼   ► and I smell that gas good and strong i [TS]

00:29:28 ◼   ► had a bus and it caught on fire and ice [TS]

00:29:30 ◼   ► melt that [TS]

00:29:31 ◼   ► you know what I learned it's really [TS]

00:29:33 ◼   ► super important to change the oil in a [TS]

00:29:35 ◼   ► VW super duper important to a too little [TS]

00:29:40 ◼   ► too late otherwise you get this [TS]

00:29:42 ◼   ► expression from your girlfriend [TS]

00:29:44 ◼   ► we are recording this to put out as a [TS]

00:29:49 ◼   ► podcast so I was making a face the [TS]

00:29:51 ◼   ► ghosts but it's and my wife Camille mm [TS]

00:29:55 ◼   ► no I definitely remember feeling a very [TS]

00:29:58 ◼   ► clear distinction between cars you wore [TS]

00:30:00 ◼   ► seat belts in cars you didn't and I feel [TS]

00:30:02 ◼   ► like cars you didn't wear a seatbelt in [TS]

00:30:04 ◼   ► were cars where if the if your if your [TS]

00:30:07 ◼   ► significant other was in the other chair [TS]

00:30:09 ◼   ► if it was just like a big upholstered [TS]

00:30:12 ◼   ► couch and they could like scooch over as [TS]

00:30:15 ◼   ► you were driving aids you don't want to [TS]

00:30:17 ◼   ► seat belt in there no way but if you [TS]

00:30:19 ◼   ► were in a car that bucket seats and [TS]

00:30:21 ◼   ► they're gonna emergency break in between [TS]

00:30:22 ◼   ► and there was no chance of like [TS]

00:30:24 ◼   ► migratory like sex but yes why not put a [TS]

00:30:29 ◼   ► seatbelt on most of the cars had the [TS]

00:30:32 ◼   ► best seat fancy big bench these is on [TS]

00:30:35 ◼   ► chrysler imperial it was a chrysler [TS]

00:30:37 ◼   ► newport Imperial it was at a time in the [TS]

00:30:41 ◼   ► Chrysler model range where they were [TS]

00:30:43 ◼   ► just throwing all the names it that was [TS]

00:30:45 ◼   ► likely to be a greater all good yeah [TS]

00:30:47 ◼   ► here's be a Chrysler Imperial now [TS]

00:30:48 ◼   ► there's going to be a chrysler newport [TS]

00:30:50 ◼   ► can make them both limited-edition [TS]

00:30:52 ◼   ► chrysler newport imperial and and that [TS]

00:30:55 ◼   ► had a seat [TS]

00:30:56 ◼   ► I mean seriously if you were sitting in [TS]

00:30:57 ◼   ► the passenger seat of the Chrysler you [TS]

00:30:59 ◼   ► would be further away from me than you [TS]

00:31:00 ◼   ► are now she's i remember i could lay [TS]

00:31:03 ◼   ► down in the back of our pontiac till I [TS]

00:31:05 ◼   ► was about 11 just like all the way [TS]

00:31:07 ◼   ► across without touching on either side [TS]

00:31:08 ◼   ► now that big-ass call damn America [TS]

00:31:11 ◼   ► what's happened to us what is happening [TS]

00:31:15 ◼   ► we have fallen so far and our podcast [TS]

00:31:18 ◼   ► has fallen so far we are just now of old [TS]

00:31:21 ◼   ► man how does anybody get sex but now [TS]

00:31:25 ◼   ► I don't think you're allowed to have sex [TS]

00:31:26 ◼   ► now except in like constrained [TS]

00:31:29 ◼   ► circumstances you have to share a banana [TS]

00:31:31 ◼   ► seat I think it's antioch rules all the [TS]

00:31:32 ◼   ► time now what is that [TS]

00:31:34 ◼   ► antioch rules you have to like fill out [TS]

00:31:35 ◼   ► a form oh can I get another I they were [TS]

00:31:39 ◼   ► right as can I go to second and a half [TS]

00:31:41 ◼   ► base yeah there is no second and a half [TS]

00:31:44 ◼   ► base there there you don't understand [TS]

00:31:47 ◼   ► baseball [TS]

00:31:48 ◼   ► no I don't know people keep reading [TS]

00:31:51 ◼   ► I keep seeing people with happy smiles [TS]

00:31:53 ◼   ► on their faces they might want to have [TS]

00:31:54 ◼   ► the same people must be the same people [TS]

00:31:56 ◼   ► i don't think new people are dependent [TS]

00:31:57 ◼   ► on oil into the intercourse thing I [TS]

00:31:59 ◼   ► think it's because the same people just [TS]

00:32:00 ◼   ► repeating it over and over that's all I [TS]

00:32:03 ◼   ► can figure was the last time you saw [TS]

00:32:04 ◼   ► somebody with more than one or two kids [TS]

00:32:07 ◼   ► rarely well no in San Francisco you live [TS]

00:32:10 ◼   ► in a big city big in bruns a small part [TS]

00:32:12 ◼   ► of the big city in San Francisco if [TS]

00:32:15 ◼   ► you're in a couple you need to have two [TS]

00:32:17 ◼   ► kids and one dog or one kid and two dogs [TS]

00:32:20 ◼   ► you could potentially have two kids and [TS]

00:32:23 ◼   ► two dogs that is within the zoning but [TS]

00:32:26 ◼   ► if you have two dogs in one kid you [TS]

00:32:28 ◼   ► better be working on another fucking kid [TS]

00:32:29 ◼   ► well you know I have you they come in [TS]

00:32:31 ◼   ► pairs have one kid you have one kid far [TS]

00:32:35 ◼   ► as i know my kid the other day said I [TS]

00:32:38 ◼   ► want a sister and I said you might get a [TS]

00:32:44 ◼   ► brother if you're not careful [TS]

00:32:51 ◼   ► and she said that's fine because she has [TS]

00:32:57 ◼   ► no idea what words mean but she said [TS]

00:33:05 ◼   ► this I want a sister in earshot of her [TS]

00:33:08 ◼   ► mother who then looked at me with arched [TS]

00:33:11 ◼   ► eyebrows signifying all of eternity and [TS]

00:33:18 ◼   ► then I was like running up a sandy hill [TS]

00:33:21 ◼   ► happened [TS]

00:33:26 ◼   ► it's such an innocent request run up a [TS]

00:33:31 ◼   ► sandy hill thinking of all kinds of [TS]

00:33:32 ◼   ► things and I was like I have to have a [TS]

00:33:34 ◼   ► plane to catch [TS]

00:33:36 ◼   ► so that's where we left it [TS]

00:33:41 ◼   ► when i get back to Seattle they're going [TS]

00:33:43 ◼   ► to show up at the airport baby in the [TS]

00:33:45 ◼   ► car seat baby's momma and they're both [TS]

00:33:48 ◼   ► gonna be arching their eyebrows at me [TS]

00:33:49 ◼   ► I'm gonna be standing there with a [TS]

00:33:50 ◼   ► guitar in one hand and a suitcase in the [TS]

00:33:52 ◼   ► other was supposed to have an answer [TS]

00:33:54 ◼   ► turn on your heel and walked back on the [TS]

00:33:56 ◼   ► plane [TS]

00:33:57 ◼   ► wow what an awkward conversation well i [TS]

00:34:00 ◼   ► don't know i mean people have been [TS]

00:34:01 ◼   ► happening for thousands of years [TS]

00:34:03 ◼   ► yeah I guess so what do you do what do [TS]

00:34:05 ◼   ► you want to work what do you do when [TS]

00:34:06 ◼   ► your kids I want a brother or sister [TS]

00:34:08 ◼   ► I think the stroke haha that's really [TS]

00:34:11 ◼   ► interesting first down [TS]

00:34:15 ◼   ► I you know it's the same as when she [TS]

00:34:17 ◼   ► wants a pet like it a lot of fucking [TS]

00:34:18 ◼   ► work honey [TS]

00:34:19 ◼   ► like you know she she thinks like I want [TS]

00:34:21 ◼   ► a cat i want a dog i want to whatever [TS]

00:34:23 ◼   ► and it's like like yeah you know I can't [TS]

00:34:25 ◼   ► get you to finish a bath like what do [TS]

00:34:27 ◼   ► you know how much work it is to have [TS]

00:34:29 ◼   ► another person in the house that you buy [TS]

00:34:31 ◼   ► things for i love that extraordinary i [TS]

00:34:33 ◼   ► love that thinking what if I just say [TS]

00:34:34 ◼   ► you'll have to clean up after your [TS]

00:34:38 ◼   ► little brother you're gonna have to feed [TS]

00:34:39 ◼   ► him and clean and clean his cage [TS]

00:34:40 ◼   ► well I think the kennel McLean [TS]

00:34:44 ◼   ► mechanical kennel yeah that well i mean [TS]

00:34:46 ◼   ► i think it's it's something where like [TS]

00:34:47 ◼   ► if you really want to address the [TS]

00:34:50 ◼   ► question and break their spirit make [TS]

00:34:51 ◼   ► them earn it in a way you know they [TS]

00:34:53 ◼   ► can't haha just kidding me that's all I [TS]

00:34:57 ◼   ► was raised [TS]

00:34:58 ◼   ► it's like like finally somebody that i [TS]

00:35:02 ◼   ► cannot think it's I mean it's not going [TS]

00:35:06 ◼   ► to be consistent it's not going to be [TS]

00:35:07 ◼   ► forever but like it's so fucking obvious [TS]

00:35:09 ◼   ► with everything that she's trying to do [TS]

00:35:10 ◼   ► too much about the compromises right [TS]

00:35:12 ◼   ► when she says daddy i have a compromise [TS]

00:35:14 ◼   ► yeah tonight instead of a bath i will [TS]

00:35:16 ◼   ► have chocolate and watch Goldfinger [TS]

00:35:18 ◼   ► again [TS]

00:35:19 ◼   ► I say that's very compelling but i am [TS]

00:35:22 ◼   ► not really sure which part of that [TS]

00:35:24 ◼   ► constitutes a compromise [TS]

00:35:26 ◼   ► okay i have five chocolates and going [TS]

00:35:29 ◼   ► for that but know that my daughter has [TS]

00:35:33 ◼   ► just recently started saying to me daddy [TS]

00:35:37 ◼   ► I like all boys except warm and I go [TS]

00:35:45 ◼   ► I'll bite who's the one boy you don't [TS]

00:35:50 ◼   ► like she says daddy so precious and i [TS]

00:35:58 ◼   ► say i've been dealing with your kind for [TS]

00:36:00 ◼   ► a lot longer than you've been alive [TS]

00:36:03 ◼   ► anything else I know how this ends [TS]

00:36:08 ◼   ► you have a baby with me wait a minute [TS]

00:36:10 ◼   ► it's rather exceptional know [TS]

00:36:15 ◼   ► ah yeah but like I love you like that i [TS]

00:36:21 ◼   ► can just see it coming from a mile off [TS]

00:36:22 ◼   ► and you know most the time I want to be [TS]

00:36:24 ◼   ► a good steward of that kind of thing I [TS]

00:36:26 ◼   ► don't want to punish the child for being [TS]

00:36:27 ◼   ► ambitious with me she could fool me but [TS]

00:36:29 ◼   ► i do have to be able to draw the line a [TS]

00:36:30 ◼   ► little bit because there are things [TS]

00:36:31 ◼   ► where that's you know compromise and so [TS]

00:36:34 ◼   ► you get to be like a like a Greek god [TS]

00:36:37 ◼   ► and come up with tasks that must be [TS]

00:36:40 ◼   ► performed [TS]

00:36:40 ◼   ► Oh whoo haha oh you you want to have a [TS]

00:36:46 ◼   ► baby brother [TS]

00:36:49 ◼   ► oh right well since when do greek gods [TS]

00:36:51 ◼   ► talk like southern lawyers [TS]

00:36:53 ◼   ► depends on the firm you're hiring oh you [TS]

00:36:59 ◼   ► want a big brother all that that's an [TS]

00:37:01 ◼   ► interesting idea maybe we'll start with [TS]

00:37:06 ◼   ► a cat and you clean your room every [TS]

00:37:08 ◼   ► night for six weeks was young knows it [TS]

00:37:13 ◼   ► he just set her up for failure I'm gonna [TS]

00:37:15 ◼   ► put a magnet here do anything doesn't [TS]

00:37:19 ◼   ► matter it's obvious after a day failure [TS]

00:37:21 ◼   ► crying tears insult me by buying me [TS]

00:37:25 ◼   ► something I hope it's not alive because [TS]

00:37:26 ◼   ► obviously you can't take care of it [TS]

00:37:28 ◼   ► I'm moving the magnet it's the thing [TS]

00:37:33 ◼   ► also with money she's decided she wants [TS]

00:37:35 ◼   ► to you know who fucking cares it's a kid [TS]

00:37:36 ◼   ► I know shut up but I i think i'll be [TS]

00:37:38 ◼   ► over in a second but it's really super [TS]

00:37:39 ◼   ► annoying she she's discovered things [TS]

00:37:42 ◼   ► like money everything now and she wants [TS]

00:37:44 ◼   ► more of stuff and she wants to have a [TS]

00:37:46 ◼   ► mansion she wants to be she has a heist [TS]

00:37:49 ◼   ► that she's working on pulling off so she [TS]

00:37:50 ◼   ► can buy a boat look yeah yeah well I but [TS]

00:37:55 ◼   ► the thing is i candidly I'm trying to [TS]

00:37:57 ◼   ► explain to her how to get away with [TS]

00:37:59 ◼   ► stuff in life and I want to do in a [TS]

00:38:01 ◼   ► useful way but please and thank you [TS]

00:38:03 ◼   ► honey [TS]

00:38:04 ◼   ► terrific way to get away with stuff also [TS]

00:38:08 ◼   ► if you're going to have a heist don't [TS]

00:38:09 ◼   ► tell me about it even if you're going to [TS]

00:38:11 ◼   ► have a heist if you're gonna jump out a [TS]

00:38:13 ◼   ► window and you need me to have a [TS]

00:38:14 ◼   ► mattress out there that you can jump on [TS]

00:38:16 ◼   ► you should get somebody else involved [TS]

00:38:18 ◼   ► cuz i'm totally not going to do that I [TS]

00:38:20 ◼   ► don't want you to be at our house with [TS]

00:38:22 ◼   ► the treasure that you stolen so don't [TS]

00:38:24 ◼   ► tell me about the plan see I'mI'm first [TS]

00:38:26 ◼   ► of all I want to succeed but you know [TS]

00:38:28 ◼   ► not not at my peril [TS]

00:38:30 ◼   ► I'm hoping that that my daughter is [TS]

00:38:32 ◼   ► interested in pulling off some heists [TS]

00:38:33 ◼   ► Kanye and I really want her to tell me [TS]

00:38:36 ◼   ► about it because finally somebody around [TS]

00:38:37 ◼   ► here we have a good plan for a fucking [TS]

00:38:39 ◼   ► heist [TS]

00:38:40 ◼   ► right like that's part of my problem i'm [TS]

00:38:42 ◼   ► waiting around for somebody to come to [TS]

00:38:44 ◼   ► me and say like here's the bank here's [TS]

00:38:45 ◼   ► where we dig the pole in the swimming [TS]

00:38:47 ◼   ► pool of the club next door [TS]

00:38:49 ◼   ► right right here's the deal we buy a [TS]

00:38:51 ◼   ► hardware store but everybody's always [TS]

00:38:54 ◼   ► waited for 15 years and suddenly we move [TS]

00:38:59 ◼   ► into the baby clothes store next door [TS]

00:39:01 ◼   ► and wait wait wait we retire we get a [TS]

00:39:06 ◼   ► facelift we come in we would address [TS]

00:39:08 ◼   ► outside the window get the treasure and [TS]

00:39:09 ◼   ► go back to the house [TS]

00:39:10 ◼   ► he's got a very very long con idea of [TS]

00:39:12 ◼   ► how heists go suite 260 yeah I love a [TS]

00:39:16 ◼   ► long con [TS]

00:39:17 ◼   ► i I just introduced flow to the idea of [TS]

00:39:21 ◼   ► money [TS]

00:39:21 ◼   ► come on up by a bloop it now oh right [TS]

00:39:24 ◼   ► sorry but I just said her name [TS]

00:39:27 ◼   ► that's not a thing that we typically do [TS]

00:39:28 ◼   ► forget it erase your minds do you mean [TS]

00:39:31 ◼   ► wow [TS]

00:39:32 ◼   ► um i'm using my powers given to me by [TS]

00:39:34 ◼   ► our alien overlords to selectively erase [TS]

00:39:37 ◼   ► your mind I will help you with my former [TS]

00:39:40 ◼   ► cancers butt so anyway not to I'm [TS]

00:39:46 ◼   ► keeping my work you have melanomas on [TS]

00:39:48 ◼   ► your face maje my collection of my [TS]

00:39:51 ◼   ► former cancers is one of my favorite [TS]

00:39:53 ◼   ► collection i love that that slow EPA i [TS]

00:39:55 ◼   ► just bought one of those little curio [TS]

00:39:57 ◼   ► boxes and I have each little cancerous [TS]

00:40:00 ◼   ► blob in there she'll spend it looks like [TS]

00:40:03 ◼   ► the good looks like the box of rocks [TS]

00:40:04 ◼   ► they give you when you take intro to [TS]

00:40:06 ◼   ► geology every one of them is new number [TS]

00:40:08 ◼   ► two name little personal cancer GIS and [TS]

00:40:11 ◼   ► smells bar but i but i was so not to [TS]

00:40:15 ◼   ► bring it back to my recent trip to [TS]

00:40:17 ◼   ► Africa which obviously i'm going to talk [TS]

00:40:18 ◼   ► about but I was a was embedded in our in [TS]

00:40:22 ◼   ► the 10 this happens embedded you know [TS]

00:40:25 ◼   ► what you know what Dan Benjamin maybe [TS]

00:40:27 ◼   ► wants to start a podcast network [TS]

00:40:30 ◼   ► I bet it's already recording some way up [TS]

00:40:35 ◼   ► every show is four-and-a-half hours long [TS]

00:40:38 ◼   ► here's here's the thing about olive jars [TS]

00:40:43 ◼   ► every show is born hours long because [TS]

00:40:46 ◼   ► dan Benjamin didn't invest in a bell [TS]

00:40:48 ◼   ► haha i ever tell you about the time I [TS]

00:40:53 ◼   ► learned to drive a gene in and then in [TS]

00:40:56 ◼   ► it anyway in the when your when your [TS]

00:40:59 ◼   ► embedded what you get when your embedded [TS]

00:41:01 ◼   ► with the Special Forces team as I've [TS]

00:41:03 ◼   ► recently been this is part of a military [TS]

00:41:06 ◼   ► culture that maybe you a you hippies [TS]

00:41:10 ◼   ► won't know anything about but the [TS]

00:41:12 ◼   ► concept of the challenge coin are you [TS]

00:41:14 ◼   ► familiar with the challenge coin [TS]

00:41:16 ◼   ► challenge coin different outfits have a [TS]

00:41:18 ◼   ► coin that represents them and they can [TS]

00:41:20 ◼   ► trade them with others and it's thing [TS]

00:41:22 ◼   ► right yeah right i think it started with [TS]

00:41:24 ◼   ► an emblematic of your group started with [TS]

00:41:26 ◼   ► the seals and if you if you if you met [TS]

00:41:29 ◼   ► somebody to borrow your like you know [TS]

00:41:31 ◼   ► I'm seal or whatever and you couldn't [TS]

00:41:33 ◼   ► produce the challenge coin then they [TS]

00:41:34 ◼   ► would give you a swirly Oh or worse some [TS]

00:41:38 ◼   ► kind of stealing six World SEAL Team six [TS]

00:41:41 ◼   ► Worley which is designing not based on [TS]

00:41:44 ◼   ► their audience reaction i fear that you [TS]

00:41:45 ◼   ► do not know what swirlies are well I [TS]

00:41:48 ◼   ► think these guys have had since haha IC [TS]

00:41:52 ◼   ► chocolate swirly IC lemons swirly they [TS]

00:41:56 ◼   ► were just having a trigger problem right [TS]

00:41:57 ◼   ► there they're like oh really well you [TS]

00:42:01 ◼   ► always have a trigger warning for [TS]

00:42:03 ◼   ► restrooms God will be in junior high [TS]

00:42:06 ◼   ► anymore [TS]

00:42:07 ◼   ► uh so anyway Lynch coin challenge coins [TS]

00:42:10 ◼   ► have now proliferated in the military [TS]

00:42:13 ◼   ► everybody's got one although it seemed [TS]

00:42:15 ◼   ► like only officers at who [TS]

00:42:17 ◼   ► but every time I went to shake hands [TS]

00:42:19 ◼   ► with some kind commanding officer there [TS]

00:42:22 ◼   ► was a coin in his hand that was meant [TS]

00:42:25 ◼   ► for me [TS]

00:42:25 ◼   ► you're like Thank You commander for [TS]

00:42:28 ◼   ► having us on the base whoa think they [TS]

00:42:30 ◼   ► give them away to be they will they give [TS]

00:42:32 ◼   ► them away to special friends [TS]

00:42:33 ◼   ► so for instance a part of me that was a [TS]

00:42:36 ◼   ► sorry bad ring so i would say i'd be [TS]

00:42:38 ◼   ► like hello nice to meet you and then no [TS]

00:42:42 ◼   ► you gotta shake the hand well we're [TS]

00:42:43 ◼   ► going home [TS]

00:42:44 ◼   ► I don't know her then you feel the bond [TS]

00:42:46 ◼   ► of the coin or something [TS]

00:42:47 ◼   ► yes Wow and then walk take the coin and [TS]

00:42:50 ◼   ► then they give you a look [TS]

00:42:52 ◼   ► just in case you missed that they just [TS]

00:42:54 ◼   ► handed you a coin they also give you a [TS]

00:42:57 ◼   ► look like i just handed you a coin so [TS]

00:43:01 ◼   ► you're like 10 the idea what face to [TS]

00:43:03 ◼   ► give him in return for that but I mean I [TS]

00:43:05 ◼   ► he's giving you a coin face like what [TS]

00:43:07 ◼   ► are you doing response is super gay no I [TS]

00:43:09 ◼   ► have just sort of a general gratitude [TS]

00:43:11 ◼   ► face that I try and wear all the time he [TS]

00:43:13 ◼   ► shot just sort of like but might I [TS]

00:43:18 ◼   ► totally get thank you for your challenge [TS]

00:43:20 ◼   ► coin general ji gratitude coin also [TS]

00:43:22 ◼   ► expresses my reluctance to feel [TS]

00:43:24 ◼   ► gratitude [TS]

00:43:25 ◼   ► so I can only see how I I didn't have [TS]

00:43:29 ◼   ► anything for you and so right exactly [TS]

00:43:31 ◼   ► that was another I was like how indebted [TS]

00:43:33 ◼   ► MIT you now but now so now because i [TS]

00:43:36 ◼   ► went on this tour of various military [TS]

00:43:38 ◼   ► bases i have us a collection of these [TS]

00:43:40 ◼   ► coins some of which are the size of [TS]

00:43:42 ◼   ► eisenhower dollars and they're all they [TS]

00:43:45 ◼   ► all have lots of colors on them and Bend [TS]

00:43:48 ◼   ► and Dragons and demons and people [TS]

00:43:51 ◼   ► holding pitchforks and like death from [TS]

00:43:52 ◼   ► above and all this stuff even lucky to [TS]

00:43:54 ◼   ► even the guys that then the you know [TS]

00:43:56 ◼   ► like the cooks master whatever the night [TS]

00:43:58 ◼   ► that from above like salsbury steak from [TS]

00:44:00 ◼   ► above and so I have all these things and [TS]

00:44:04 ◼   ► then I realized that this is a whole [TS]

00:44:05 ◼   ► other on a shingle happen [TS]

00:44:06 ◼   ► this is a whole culture right and your [TS]

00:44:08 ◼   ► men to come that and and the CIA has [TS]

00:44:11 ◼   ► them and everybody in the government has [TS]

00:44:14 ◼   ► challenged called a terrible idea i know [TS]

00:44:15 ◼   ► when if somebody slips you there like [TS]

00:44:17 ◼   ► thanks for you know thanks for many that [TS]

00:44:19 ◼   ► advertises yeah like you're here [TS]

00:44:21 ◼   ► oh shit oh you're in the CIA old Hawk I [TS]

00:44:24 ◼   ► shouldn't be better if anything for you [TS]

00:44:25 ◼   ► but so now i have these challenge coins [TS]

00:44:28 ◼   ► and I was like I you know these are like [TS]

00:44:30 ◼   ► important to people and I feel like this [TS]

00:44:32 ◼   ► would be the type of thing that was [TS]

00:44:34 ◼   ► important to me if it didn't feel a [TS]

00:44:37 ◼   ► little perfunctory and the pump turi [TS]

00:44:42 ◼   ► nature of it you know a couple of them [TS]

00:44:44 ◼   ► just said like commanding officer was [TS]

00:44:48 ◼   ► like did you get this in one of those [TS]

00:44:50 ◼   ► games where the robot arm comes and [TS]

00:44:53 ◼   ► you were looking for at nrt McPhee thing [TS]

00:44:55 ◼   ► that right get for a kids party ending [TS]

00:44:57 ◼   ► officer one gross and challenge cause I [TS]

00:45:00 ◼   ► get your name honored at least or [TS]

00:45:01 ◼   ► something [TS]

00:45:02 ◼   ► yeah so I came back and I have this [TS]

00:45:04 ◼   ► little bag of coins that was actually [TS]

00:45:05 ◼   ► pretty substantial coins and I was like [TS]

00:45:08 ◼   ► you know daughter [TS]

00:45:10 ◼   ► hello daughter nice to see you here's [TS]

00:45:13 ◼   ► some money [TS]

00:45:14 ◼   ► I brought you and she was pretty into it [TS]

00:45:17 ◼   ► until she started to see all the like [TS]

00:45:19 ◼   ► flaming skull heads on them and I was [TS]

00:45:22 ◼   ► like never forget you know what your [TS]

00:45:27 ◼   ► father had to do to get the stuff that's [TS]

00:45:30 ◼   ► right [TS]

00:45:30 ◼   ► unhooks false and pick up every morning [TS]

00:45:33 ◼   ► remember to thank me for my service if [TS]

00:45:37 ◼   ► you are we're going to make your own [TS]

00:45:38 ◼   ► challenge going to have a sense of what [TS]

00:45:40 ◼   ► the design might be what my challenge [TS]

00:45:42 ◼   ► going well you know if it's it could be [TS]

00:45:44 ◼   ► for your vocation it just could be for [TS]

00:45:46 ◼   ► your aspirations but it'd be kind of [TS]

00:45:48 ◼   ► cool and super creepy if when you met [TS]

00:45:51 ◼   ► people you handed them a coin they [TS]

00:45:52 ◼   ► didn't ask for i feel like i only put it [TS]

00:45:55 ◼   ► on them but then give you the gratitude [TS]

00:45:56 ◼   ► face fucking I feel like mine would have [TS]

00:45:58 ◼   ► a raven on one side kind of giving you [TS]

00:46:01 ◼   ► the hairy eyeball and then a GMC RV on [TS]

00:46:05 ◼   ► the other side also giving you the area [TS]

00:46:08 ◼   ► and just you have to figure out what [TS]

00:46:10 ◼   ► that meant I like a coin you gotta [TS]

00:46:13 ◼   ► figure out that's a good idea alright [TS]

00:46:14 ◼   ► are calling that you take back to your [TS]

00:46:16 ◼   ► room and you you take out a typo [TS]

00:46:18 ◼   ► understand just said cousins little to [TS]

00:46:20 ◼   ► deliver a type of work from some very [TS]

00:46:22 ◼   ► conflicting information on it yeah weird [TS]

00:46:24 ◼   ► spell wi ER d uh you know the every [TS]

00:46:30 ◼   ► night [TS]

00:46:31 ◼   ► Roderick challenge going when I'm [TS]

00:46:34 ◼   ► traveling with my passport [TS]

00:46:35 ◼   ► every night I can't help ya i go back to [TS]

00:46:38 ◼   ► my room and look at all the stamps on my [TS]

00:46:39 ◼   ► passport he kept traveling with your [TS]

00:46:42 ◼   ► passport right in [TS]

00:46:43 ◼   ► did you bring your passport just two [TS]

00:46:46 ◼   ► come to this part of san francisco [TS]

00:46:48 ◼   ► like well I'm leaving the sunset I [TS]

00:46:51 ◼   ► better bring my passport let me see it [TS]

00:46:54 ◼   ► oh I can't see you oh yeah I guess so [TS]

00:46:57 ◼   ► what I want to do in portland I didn't [TS]

00:47:00 ◼   ► get your question if you gotta run the [TS]

00:47:01 ◼   ► fuck out of the country where do you [TS]

00:47:03 ◼   ► want your passport isn't home then once [TS]

00:47:05 ◼   ► that deposit but it's in the middle of [TS]

00:47:07 ◼   ► all know it's by your ass and you're [TS]

00:47:11 ◼   ► running toward the door I guess you know [TS]

00:47:13 ◼   ► carriers all this is the ultimate a [TS]

00:47:14 ◼   ► small bag [TS]

00:47:16 ◼   ► yes read the front page read the overly [TS]

00:47:19 ◼   ► well you know I mean or do you know what [TS]

00:47:21 ◼   ► it says not that whoa hello Charles [TS]

00:47:24 ◼   ► Nelson Reilly pig has taken prednisone [TS]

00:47:25 ◼   ► boom huh [TS]

00:47:29 ◼   ► shoot the camera over here what does it [TS]

00:47:31 ◼   ► say listen everybody else but the [TS]

00:47:33 ◼   ► incaviligia lot of water with the blood [TS]

00:47:35 ◼   ► talking about this on maybe Bionic there [TS]

00:47:36 ◼   ► with the different things that are [TS]

00:47:37 ◼   ► inside of the passports the Secretary of [TS]

00:47:40 ◼   ► State you got a little drunk media [TS]

00:47:42 ◼   ► secretary of state of the United States [TS]

00:47:44 ◼   ► of America hereby request all whom it [TS]

00:47:46 ◼   ► may concern to permit the citizen / [TS]

00:47:49 ◼   ► national start a little Patriot song [TS]

00:47:51 ◼   ► pointed yeah dude don't forget a [TS]

00:47:55 ◼   ► periodic using it seemed like you mean [TS]

00:47:58 ◼   ► it [TS]

00:47:58 ◼   ► you have to be a little drunk and also [TS]

00:48:00 ◼   ► be Andrew Jackson but I don't care for [TS]

00:48:04 ◼   ► Native American old hickory that called [TS]

00:48:08 ◼   ► me [TS]

00:48:08 ◼   ► yeah world's first andrew jackson [TS]

00:48:12 ◼   ► reenactor I'm not know don't get me [TS]

00:48:15 ◼   ► wrong I'm not personally acquainted with [TS]

00:48:20 ◼   ► the history miss Jackson my accent tends [TS]

00:48:23 ◼   ► to change every 12 to 17 minutes to [TS]

00:48:27 ◼   ► bruin Thailand to be about time to [TS]

00:48:31 ◼   ► tiptoe well Tyler to tyler perry's [TS]

00:48:34 ◼   ► tippecanoe request all who may concern [TS]

00:48:38 ◼   ► to permit the citizens / national United [TS]

00:48:41 ◼   ► States named herein to pass without [TS]

00:48:43 ◼   ► delay or hindrance and in case of need [TS]

00:48:46 ◼   ► to give all lawful aid and protection [TS]

00:48:49 ◼   ► also all fucking bag [TS]

00:48:52 ◼   ► Hey look at that no no let me show you [TS]

00:48:55 ◼   ► what let me show you some shit that you [TS]

00:48:57 ◼   ► need to know oh look at that [TS]

00:48:58 ◼   ► that's right we have the same wallet [TS]

00:48:59 ◼   ► because I gave your mom then she gave it [TS]

00:49:01 ◼   ► to you yeah I don't remember buying his [TS]

00:49:04 ◼   ► mother a wallet and gave my mom a men's [TS]

00:49:06 ◼   ► wallet as a as a thank you gift I got [TS]

00:49:09 ◼   ► her some driving gloves a crop and weird [TS]

00:49:14 ◼   ► i don't remember them and she was like [TS]

00:49:15 ◼   ► all right thing i want i said i don't [TS]

00:49:17 ◼   ► know what to do with this and I'll take [TS]

00:49:18 ◼   ► it and now I've had it for years and [TS]

00:49:20 ◼   ► look at this [TS]

00:49:21 ◼   ► Oh wonder twin powers activate shape of [TS]

00:49:25 ◼   ► a nice monkey i love you anyway you [TS]

00:49:29 ◼   ► carry around your passport [TS]

00:49:31 ◼   ► yeah I carry around these items what [TS]

00:49:36 ◼   ► with the state of washington state of [TS]

00:49:38 ◼   ► Washington offers this is not flattering [TS]

00:49:40 ◼   ► John know that is that what it's not [TS]

00:49:42 ◼   ► meant to be flattering it's meant to be [TS]

00:49:44 ◼   ► intimidating i want police when they [TS]

00:49:47 ◼   ► look at my driver's license to be scared [TS]

00:49:49 ◼   ► work in a cafeteria at the State [TS]

00:49:51 ◼   ► Department it's not a cafeteria in the [TS]

00:49:54 ◼   ► studio there's not a gluten-free option [TS]

00:49:56 ◼   ► this this picture says to any police [TS]

00:50:00 ◼   ► officer in the United States I know your [TS]

00:50:02 ◼   ► boss Nick compare now [TS]

00:50:06 ◼   ► yes it is intimidating corrected nick [TS]

00:50:12 ◼   ► says intimidating yes [TS]

00:50:13 ◼   ► this says this says go ahead give me a [TS]

00:50:16 ◼   ► ticket right go ahead and also give a [TS]

00:50:18 ◼   ► ticket to the bags under my eyes [TS]

00:50:20 ◼   ► go ahead go ahead give me a ticket I'm [TS]

00:50:22 ◼   ► and I have your badge number memorized [TS]

00:50:24 ◼   ► and then this this is troubling but [TS]

00:50:27 ◼   ► anyway this is a state of Washington I [TS]

00:50:29 ◼   ► get Ghost which actually has passport [TS]

00:50:32 ◼   ► information on the back it's called an [TS]

00:50:33 ◼   ► enhanced driver's license and it allows [TS]

00:50:36 ◼   ► you to travel out of the United States [TS]

00:50:37 ◼   ► by any land or sea border without a [TS]

00:50:40 ◼   ► passport [TS]

00:50:41 ◼   ► alright so when it's time for me to bail [TS]

00:50:44 ◼   ► I'm not standing around holding my [TS]

00:50:46 ◼   ► fucking pants or nah [TS]

00:50:49 ◼   ► oh I'm waiting in line at the airport I [TS]

00:50:52 ◼   ► have a muni clipper card with iron man [TS]

00:50:56 ◼   ► on it with that which if you have seven [TS]

00:51:03 ◼   ► hours to square can get you to the [TS]

00:51:05 ◼   ► oakland airport haha family with [TS]

00:51:09 ◼   ► anything now focus your partner my [TS]

00:51:13 ◼   ► daughter's the captain america one [TS]

00:51:14 ◼   ► that's can't i'm really glad that you [TS]

00:51:17 ◼   ► have your written and raised your kids [TS]

00:51:19 ◼   ► to like all the things that you like it [TS]

00:51:23 ◼   ► because it is true it's really tricky a [TS]

00:51:32 ◼   ► fan of Wilberforce she likes Wilberforce [TS]

00:51:34 ◼   ► and all the Marvel characters and she [TS]

00:51:36 ◼   ► likes to hook them shock but not as for [TS]

00:51:40 ◼   ► work you know I hear you dropping [TS]

00:51:44 ◼   ► references from time to time you talked [TS]

00:51:45 ◼   ► about storm on a podcast together didn't [TS]

00:51:47 ◼   ► know I'm an American [TS]

00:51:49 ◼   ► yeah it's not that I don't know what [TS]

00:51:51 ◼   ► happens in comic books yes when I got [TS]

00:51:53 ◼   ► off the airplane here in san francisco i [TS]

00:51:55 ◼   ► was walking through the terminal there [TS]

00:51:57 ◼   ► was a very well-dressed 52 year old [TS]

00:52:00 ◼   ► black guy in like great close everybody [TS]

00:52:03 ◼   ► in the san francisco airport has great [TS]

00:52:04 ◼   ► clothes on this guy was like really put [TS]

00:52:06 ◼   ► together my environment admiring his his [TS]

00:52:09 ◼   ► glasses I'm admiring the cut of his jib [TS]

00:52:11 ◼   ► and I look down in his lap is full of [TS]

00:52:15 ◼   ► graphic novels this and he is reading [TS]

00:52:18 ◼   ► some graphic novel about some ghost girl [TS]

00:52:20 ◼   ► because that's what they're all about [TS]

00:52:24 ◼   ► every graphic novel is about some ghost [TS]

00:52:27 ◼   ► girl and I was like sir you are a grown [TS]

00:52:33 ◼   ► person stopped reading comic books and [TS]

00:52:36 ◼   ► then then he was like I'm a billionaire [TS]

00:52:38 ◼   ► I can do what I want I could have you [TS]

00:52:42 ◼   ► acquired I could have you actually hired [TS]

00:52:45 ◼   ► by the time you get your fancy boy [TS]

00:52:47 ◼   ► shoeshine I live in San Francisco where [TS]

00:52:49 ◼   ► all billionaires now okay [TS]

00:52:51 ◼   ► oh wow somebody made a horse sound oh [TS]

00:52:56 ◼   ► it's not just a billionaire that brought [TS]

00:52:57 ◼   ► his horse to the show I bring a [TS]

00:53:00 ◼   ► different horse to every show haven't [TS]

00:53:02 ◼   ► killed in the end I don't need the horse [TS]

00:53:05 ◼   ► horse didn't need the show next issue i [TS]

00:53:10 ◼   ► work at Google I take my horse on the [TS]

00:53:12 ◼   ► bus [TS]

00:53:13 ◼   ► oh I ride my horse out of the elevator [TS]

00:53:19 ◼   ► into the bus could be could be like a [TS]

00:53:21 ◼   ► special-needs horse like it helps you [TS]

00:53:23 ◼   ► feel anxiety is the redhorse yeah right [TS]

00:53:25 ◼   ► so if you just hate just get on all [TS]

00:53:27 ◼   ► fours and you like you're checking your [TS]

00:53:28 ◼   ► phone and just like with your phone and [TS]

00:53:30 ◼   ► like a fucking Clydesdale it's a it's [TS]

00:53:34 ◼   ► it's broken it's for anxiety [TS]

00:53:37 ◼   ► it's your anxiety horse um actually it's [TS]

00:53:39 ◼   ► a prescription horse have a card for it [TS]

00:53:43 ◼   ► it has it [TS]

00:53:44 ◼   ► yeah it has a blanket that you've [TS]

00:53:46 ◼   ► scrawled in sharpie like the surface [TS]

00:53:48 ◼   ► force don't let me caution you don't get [TS]

00:53:51 ◼   ► me and I'm a service orbit you know what [TS]

00:53:54 ◼   ► every horse that's what it's there for [TS]

00:53:56 ◼   ► that's the whole body horses service or [TS]

00:53:58 ◼   ► whether there's some horses that are [TS]

00:53:59 ◼   ► just like free you mean just like at [TS]

00:54:04 ◼   ► liberty horses yeah just free horses i [TS]

00:54:05 ◼   ► mean i guess there are wild palominos [TS]

00:54:07 ◼   ► right but of course they're just picking [TS]

00:54:09 ◼   ► up work where they can I wandering [TS]

00:54:11 ◼   ► through town drinking cheap coffee just [TS]

00:54:13 ◼   ► like a jobber like a what's up Nate [TS]

00:54:15 ◼   ► horse I thought they'd be different for [TS]

00:54:16 ◼   ► me [TS]

00:54:17 ◼   ► anybody horse in fact i was at 14 [TS]

00:54:19 ◼   ► mission and i think i saw horse that was [TS]

00:54:20 ◼   ► just like me towards new horse in town [TS]

00:54:22 ◼   ► yeah he just comes to town to get some [TS]

00:54:24 ◼   ► it gets on bart gets on horse part it [TS]

00:54:27 ◼   ► pulls into the station i was told when [TS]

00:54:30 ◼   ► you when you walk down mission do not [TS]

00:54:32 ◼   ► look did not make eye contact with any [TS]

00:54:34 ◼   ► horse that's just trying to talk to no [TS]

00:54:36 ◼   ► no now that do a three course [TS]

00:54:38 ◼   ► money here and watch that I don't know [TS]

00:54:40 ◼   ► their second horsey horse paperback [TS]

00:54:44 ◼   ► Horst Wessel while horse vessel eating [TS]

00:54:46 ◼   ► he sure did [TS]

00:54:47 ◼   ► yes yeah that was bad got close to [TS]

00:54:53 ◼   ► Hitler got real good lately attention [TS]

00:54:56 ◼   ► generation supertrain we have an [TS]

00:54:58 ◼   ► exciting new thought technology for you [TS]

00:55:01 ◼   ► because right now for the first time [TS]

00:55:02 ◼   ► ever [TS]

00:55:03 ◼   ► Roderick on the line has shirts shirts [TS]

00:55:06 ◼   ► that you can buy and then where these [TS]

00:55:08 ◼   ► are small batch single cask artists anal [TS]

00:55:11 ◼   ► t-shirts and hoodies featuring our [TS]

00:55:13 ◼   ► brand-new Roderick on the wine logo [TS]

00:55:15 ◼   ► lovingly crafted by our pals at cotton [TS]

00:55:17 ◼   ► bureau to see them for yourself you can [TS]

00:55:19 ◼   ► find a link shown us for this episode or [TS]

00:55:22 ◼   ► just dial up bit ly / supertrain shirt [TS]

00:55:26 ◼   ► here's the thing this is a very limited [TS]

00:55:28 ◼   ► time offer the last possible second to [TS]

00:55:31 ◼   ► buy this shirt passes on februari 6 2015 [TS]

00:55:34 ◼   ► at 2pm so please act now go to italy / [TS]

00:55:39 ◼   ► supertrain shirt and pick up this [TS]

00:55:41 ◼   ► one-of-a-kind item for the very first [TS]

00:55:43 ◼   ► time available to you John and I thank [TS]

00:55:45 ◼   ► you in advance for having a torso and [TS]

00:55:48 ◼   ► excellent taste [TS]

00:55:49 ◼   ► I'm not against i'm not against i'm not [TS]

00:55:53 ◼   ► against horses are sweet my daughter [TS]

00:55:57 ◼   ► would probably have a horse if she could [TS]

00:55:58 ◼   ► course every daughter would have a horse [TS]

00:56:00 ◼   ► of course because because horses are [TS]

00:56:04 ◼   ► like a sex totem for girls [TS]

00:56:07 ◼   ► yeah we're girls represent Sigmund Freud [TS]

00:56:10 ◼   ► yeah but yes it's not it's not that it's [TS]

00:56:12 ◼   ► a prosthesis for Sigmund Freud forward [TS]

00:56:14 ◼   ► to Freud process strapon Froy yeah they [TS]

00:56:18 ◼   ► love horses [TS]

00:56:19 ◼   ► I find them how many people a lot of [TS]

00:56:20 ◼   ► people do kind of use me as a fried [TS]

00:56:23 ◼   ► prawns see because you're means are [TS]

00:56:27 ◼   ► unsound you haven't aged well limited [TS]

00:56:29 ◼   ► know because I look like I look like [TS]

00:56:33 ◼   ► Freud if Freud was hit with The Dig Dug [TS]

00:56:36 ◼   ► pump couple of times [TS]

00:56:38 ◼   ► I like will wake up wake up [TS]

00:56:43 ◼   ► whoa and then but then you get away [TS]

00:56:45 ◼   ► right well in food in my back and I [TS]

00:56:48 ◼   ► believe I footage yeah and that's rides [TS]

00:56:52 ◼   ► happen [TS]

00:56:53 ◼   ► you're just using you just paralyzing [TS]

00:56:56 ◼   ► the fried so you can keep digging [TS]

00:56:57 ◼   ► tunnels [TS]

00:56:57 ◼   ► yeah that's a penis yeah that would be [TS]

00:57:01 ◼   ► super weird because of what they look [TS]

00:57:03 ◼   ► like big dogs what you said one time I [TS]

00:57:06 ◼   ► was at the Tastee Freez yeah 1989 chili [TS]

00:57:09 ◼   ► dog I was not I have never I like a [TS]

00:57:12 ◼   ► chili dog never sucked on one I have [TS]

00:57:14 ◼   ► never seen anyone stuck in a chili dog [TS]

00:57:16 ◼   ► and have never had learned because [TS]

00:57:18 ◼   ► something you didn't write a song i [TS]

00:57:19 ◼   ► think that fucking ding-a-lings wrote [TS]

00:57:21 ◼   ► those lyrics because he thought I don't [TS]

00:57:22 ◼   ► know what caused the Indiana but anyway [TS]

00:57:25 ◼   ► Tastee Freez i was at the Tastee Freez [TS]

00:57:27 ◼   ► and it was early in the eighties and the [TS]

00:57:29 ◼   ► guy was playing dig dug and he was a guy [TS]

00:57:31 ◼   ► that like was wearing his hat is [TS]

00:57:33 ◼   ► baseball hat on backwards he had a [TS]

00:57:34 ◼   ► toucan in there he was like he was he [TS]

00:57:37 ◼   ► was like one of the tough kids he was [TS]

00:57:38 ◼   ► like the kid in Bad News Bears the road [TS]

00:57:40 ◼   ► motorcycle check your Haley that's right [TS]

00:57:43 ◼   ► jack your land your shock and watchmen [TS]

00:57:45 ◼   ► and remember and remember and and he's [TS]

00:57:50 ◼   ► playing dig dug and dig dugs you know [TS]

00:57:52 ◼   ► got a little song that happens while [TS]

00:57:54 ◼   ► he's diggin love theme from doing down [TS]

00:57:57 ◼   ► there anybody know the theme from big [TS]

00:57:58 ◼   ► Doug no no no you know it's not [TS]

00:58:01 ◼   ► hysterical laughter it's some kind of [TS]

00:58:05 ◼   ► little song that happens and it changes [TS]

00:58:07 ◼   ► with a walk with what changes as he digs [TS]

00:58:09 ◼   ► and different things when he's pumping [TS]

00:58:11 ◼   ► up dragons the difference change song [TS]

00:58:13 ◼   ► changes and i'm watching the game and [TS]

00:58:15 ◼   ► I'm you know and this is the thing that [TS]

00:58:16 ◼   ► we used to do in the eighties which is [TS]

00:58:18 ◼   ► sit and watch somebody play a video game [TS]

00:58:19 ◼   ► for hours just like yeah yeah go go and [TS]

00:58:22 ◼   ► you can afford it I couldn't play video [TS]

00:58:24 ◼   ► games its cost a whole quarter [TS]

00:58:25 ◼   ► ridiculous you could buy five mini [TS]

00:58:28 ◼   ► hershey kisses for are many reasons [TS]

00:58:31 ◼   ► pieces no not pieces reeses cups [TS]

00:58:34 ◼   ► yeah boy this is really this 112th one [TS]

00:58:36 ◼   ► of the most amazing stories I've ever [TS]

00:58:37 ◼   ► told but [TS]

00:58:39 ◼   ► so I'm said i'm watching this kid play [TS]

00:58:42 ◼   ► let me unwind and nail for kidding about [TS]

00:58:47 ◼   ► the equivalency of entertainment to a [TS]

00:58:50 ◼   ► young man in the early and I so i'm [TS]

00:58:53 ◼   ► watching this guy play i'm sitting I've [TS]

00:58:54 ◼   ► been sitting here for 45 minutes and [TS]

00:58:56 ◼   ► this is not a guy that would give me the [TS]

00:58:57 ◼   ► time of day normally but i'm ben i get [TS]

00:59:00 ◼   ► to be proximate to him because i'm [TS]

00:59:02 ◼   ► watching him play dig dug and a certain [TS]

00:59:04 ◼   ► point I go you know you could probably [TS]

00:59:06 ◼   ► like the way a song if you just dig dug [TS]

00:59:13 ◼   ► in the room in the right order [TS]

00:59:16 ◼   ► you could like make it into a song [TS]

00:59:17 ◼   ► because the music changes and it was the [TS]

00:59:22 ◼   ► first time that I ever felt that feeling [TS]

00:59:25 ◼   ► of like walking into a Western bar [TS]

00:59:28 ◼   ► wearing it like it really dude costume [TS]

00:59:32 ◼   ► and all this all the Cowboys just turned [TS]

00:59:36 ◼   ► their heads real slowly New York's [TS]

00:59:39 ◼   ► anything happen and it looked me up and [TS]

00:59:42 ◼   ► down and then went back to what they [TS]

00:59:45 ◼   ► were doing i was just no boy and I just [TS]

00:59:48 ◼   ► slunk and respond on at all no not him [TS]

00:59:52 ◼   ► and not that not his acolytes and not [TS]

00:59:54 ◼   ► his like little henchmen like everybody [TS]

00:59:57 ◼   ► just turn real slowly and there are only [TS]

00:59:59 ◼   ► [TS]

01:00:00 ◼   ► so I don't know where they learn that [TS]

01:00:01 ◼   ► move i think it was just instinctively [TS]

01:00:02 ◼   ► was like that's rough and I knew right [TS]

01:00:07 ◼   ► then that I was not made for this world [TS]

01:00:09 ◼   ► i can brutal see that's how I that's how [TS]

01:00:14 ◼   ► I became Who I am today [TS]

01:00:16 ◼   ► yeah someone who is prepared to fight [TS]

01:00:18 ◼   ► for justice [TS]

01:00:19 ◼   ► yeah in every word indeed especially [TS]

01:00:23 ◼   ► justice for me the most important kind [TS]

01:00:27 ◼   ► of Justice happen a lot of people [TS]

01:00:30 ◼   ► mm so uh so how was the fact that it [TS]

01:00:37 ◼   ► gives some texts [TS]

01:00:39 ◼   ► yeah haha pretty good shower so that we [TS]

01:00:44 ◼   ► can avoid a couple topic i really i [TS]

01:00:48 ◼   ► really want to ask questions of the [TS]

01:00:50 ◼   ► audience but I'm afraid to break the [TS]

01:00:53 ◼   ► fourth wall because we're whenever i do [TS]

01:00:55 ◼   ► that on the program I get angry emails [TS]

01:00:57 ◼   ► now with picture of the fourth wall [TS]

01:00:59 ◼   ► that's fine we don't have an audience [TS]

01:01:00 ◼   ► Mike but I can give him mine [TS]

01:01:02 ◼   ► oh I mean I don't feel like I felt like [TS]

01:01:03 ◼   ► I want to do it like so much that I want [TS]

01:01:05 ◼   ► to do [TS]

01:01:06 ◼   ► yeah right but what it's like it's like [TS]

01:01:07 ◼   ► it's like doing a song based on dig dug [TS]

01:01:09 ◼   ► you did good dick tip as they make their [TS]

01:01:13 ◼   ► kids at his name [TS]

01:01:13 ◼   ► yeah if chicken tikka tikka when you [TS]

01:01:15 ◼   ► inflate the Freud haha dick good on me [TS]

01:01:23 ◼   ► have some times didn't we [TS]

01:01:25 ◼   ► um yeah it's a it's funny because when [TS]

01:01:27 ◼   ► we do this program over the phone you [TS]

01:01:30 ◼   ► usually have to go to the bathroom by [TS]

01:01:32 ◼   ► this point and you like ring the bell on [TS]

01:01:35 ◼   ► me [TS]

01:01:35 ◼   ► totally yeah well I literally peed [TS]

01:01:36 ◼   ► myself twice we can I i'm glad i had a [TS]

01:01:39 ◼   ► quickie they're finally just so you guys [TS]

01:01:40 ◼   ► know can I say something real quick of [TS]

01:01:43 ◼   ► the building no I totally did not do [TS]

01:01:44 ◼   ► that to the bathroom [TS]

01:01:47 ◼   ► i feel like i don't i should i should [TS]

01:01:51 ◼   ► not have to say this but i I've been in [TS]

01:01:54 ◼   ► the bathroom twice [TS]

01:01:55 ◼   ► someone is really in the bathroom and it [TS]

01:01:56 ◼   ► was not me it seemed like me I walked [TS]

01:01:59 ◼   ► out and it the bathroom was bad and the [TS]

01:02:01 ◼   ► toilet was running he came up to the [TS]

01:02:04 ◼   ► dressing room [TS]

01:02:05 ◼   ► super anxious that someone in the [TS]

01:02:06 ◼   ► audience was gonna blame him for syncing [TS]

01:02:08 ◼   ► up about it and I was like is that not a [TS]

01:02:11 ◼   ► point of personal pride for all men if [TS]

01:02:13 ◼   ► it well if it had been me [TS]

01:02:15 ◼   ► yeah I would have done a little [TS]

01:02:16 ◼   ► differently but if that had been me I [TS]

01:02:19 ◼   ► would have been out front and fucking [TS]

01:02:20 ◼   ► brochures and offering that like take my [TS]

01:02:22 ◼   ► picture like this is this is bad this [TS]

01:02:25 ◼   ► boat has flipped in here like something [TS]

01:02:28 ◼   ► terrible and unnatural has happened in [TS]

01:02:30 ◼   ► here right before we took the stage I [TS]

01:02:32 ◼   ► felt like there was a distinct [TS]

01:02:34 ◼   ► possibility that i would be crop dusting [TS]

01:02:36 ◼   ► the show the entire time but since I've [TS]

01:02:38 ◼   ► been sitting here I've been a complete [TS]

01:02:40 ◼   ► person and I haven't lost any nothing's [TS]

01:02:42 ◼   ► good nothing's gonna put some coffee in [TS]

01:02:44 ◼   ► and yeah things going out so I'm good so [TS]

01:02:47 ◼   ► I feel like I'm only good i'm only [TS]

01:02:48 ◼   ► growing you wanna give people an [TS]

01:02:49 ◼   ► opportunity we got a few minutes right [TS]

01:02:51 ◼   ► people the opportunity to say things you [TS]

01:02:53 ◼   ► could visit with them they can talk with [TS]

01:02:55 ◼   ► you which is that is that something that [TS]

01:02:56 ◼   ► you would like like when people in the [TS]

01:02:58 ◼   ► audience is you haven't come up to that [TS]

01:03:00 ◼   ► those of you who have been listening [TS]

01:03:02 ◼   ► this program for a long time and I've [TS]

01:03:03 ◼   ► had very little opportunity to [TS]

01:03:04 ◼   ► contribute your own that is by design [TS]

01:03:07 ◼   ► and unfortunately in this setting only [TS]

01:03:12 ◼   ► the boldest are going to risk doing this [TS]

01:03:16 ◼   ► and that bodes ill yeah [TS]

01:03:18 ◼   ► oh you're right right only the whole we [TS]

01:03:21 ◼   ► should have combined people yeah and so [TS]

01:03:22 ◼   ► they're usually like having having hello [TS]

01:03:24 ◼   ► mrs. easy dr. Roderick the pair o [TS]

01:03:29 ◼   ► without deference and respect but yeah [TS]

01:03:32 ◼   ► baby why don't we try we try to call up [TS]

01:03:34 ◼   ► by Jason thing first no no okay Jason is [TS]

01:03:37 ◼   ► in the audience that at least he was [TS]

01:03:39 ◼   ► here Jason [TS]

01:03:41 ◼   ► haha do you want to do you want to you [TS]

01:03:46 ◼   ► you said before the show that you [TS]

01:03:47 ◼   ► thought you might have called the show [TS]

01:03:48 ◼   ► in some way [TS]

01:03:50 ◼   ► alright okay thanks Jason [TS]

01:03:56 ◼   ► oh thanks man thanks Ted what would you [TS]

01:03:59 ◼   ► invest in the program all that is wow [TS]

01:04:03 ◼   ► you know what I'm just glad i have room [TS]

01:04:05 ◼   ► to grow [TS]

01:04:05 ◼   ► haha you know Merlin Merlin sometimes to [TS]

01:04:08 ◼   ► adopt a supporting role and other times [TS]

01:04:10 ◼   ► he's more of a you know more of a leader [TS]

01:04:12 ◼   ► in a challenge thank you John [TS]

01:04:13 ◼   ► yeah haha let's take let's take some [TS]

01:04:18 ◼   ► questions what do you think i would say [TS]

01:04:19 ◼   ► anything questions for John and [TS]

01:04:21 ◼   ► gentlemen when the teacher I know I know [TS]

01:04:25 ◼   ► Matt's here have a lot of questions so [TS]

01:04:27 ◼   ► I'm not gonna walk out you don't pretend [TS]

01:04:29 ◼   ► they come on up come on [TS]

01:04:30 ◼   ► I what's your name I've been everybody [TS]

01:04:34 ◼   ► going down i have a question when you [TS]

01:04:36 ◼   ► were at sea for a couple years ago you [TS]

01:04:39 ◼   ► mentioned having some sort of bizarre [TS]

01:04:41 ◼   ► acupuncture experience oh yes [TS]

01:04:44 ◼   ► yeah by your hair I recognize you as an [TS]

01:04:46 ◼   ► actual computer acupuncture extra [TS]

01:04:48 ◼   ► puncture Asher Astrakhan surest so it's [TS]

01:04:51 ◼   ► actually I was wondering if you had any [TS]

01:04:53 ◼   ► other similar experiences you talk about [TS]

01:04:55 ◼   ► spiritual experience [TS]

01:04:56 ◼   ► maybe but they might be drug-related [TS]

01:04:58 ◼   ► physio spiritual drug experiences you [TS]

01:05:01 ◼   ► can Co pseudo struck spiritual drug [TS]

01:05:04 ◼   ► spirituals I've had or are you know a [TS]

01:05:08 ◼   ► key and needles or direct to write [TS]

01:05:10 ◼   ► oh wait a minute hold on that's a great [TS]

01:05:12 ◼   ► question how do you want to follow up [TS]

01:05:14 ◼   ► uh-hum I yeah I had a lot of i have i've [TS]

01:05:17 ◼   ► had a lot of spiritual experiences on [TS]

01:05:19 ◼   ► drugs [TS]