00:00:00 ◼ ► this episode of rock on the line is [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/0">TS</a>]
00:00:01 ◼ ► brought to you by Squarespace start [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1">TS</a>]
00:00:05 ◼ ► squarespace.com and remember to enter [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/5">TS</a>]
00:00:07 ◼ ► the very special offer code supertrain [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/7">TS</a>]
00:00:10 ◼ ► and check out to get ten percent of [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/10">TS</a>]
00:00:19 ◼ ► hello hi John hi Merlin how's it going [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/19">TS</a>]
00:00:24 ◼ ► good how ru who I'm facing the fan [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/24">TS</a>]
00:00:31 ◼ ► California a Oh John Rother you are [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/31">TS</a>]
00:00:34 ◼ ► yeah it's a no-no it's you know it's [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/34">TS</a>]
00:00:38 ◼ ► like every day I should you know you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/38">TS</a>]
00:00:40 ◼ ► could just take a sharpie and write 51 [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/40">TS</a>]
00:00:41 ◼ ► uh I phone screen that's pretty much 51 [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/41">TS</a>]
00:00:44 ◼ ► 51 degrees 51 degrees with the with the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/44">TS</a>]
00:00:48 ◼ ► yep yep yep yeah it's beautiful here in [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/48">TS</a>]
00:00:51 ◼ ► Seattle because as you know global [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/51">TS</a>]
00:00:53 ◼ ► warming which is really climate change [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/53">TS</a>]
00:00:58 ◼ ► let's see on its climate change we got [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/58">TS</a>]
00:01:00 ◼ ► it we got it we gotta work on that it is [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/60">TS</a>]
00:01:02 ◼ ► turning Seattle into la jolla which is [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/62">TS</a>]
00:01:06 ◼ ► which is wonderful i love that name [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/66">TS</a>]
00:01:09 ◼ ► uh yeah la jolla home of dr. Seuss I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/69">TS</a>]
00:01:14 ◼ ► we're going to have a beautiful day here [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/74">TS</a>]
00:01:17 ◼ ► that's going to have sea lions in it and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/77">TS</a>]
00:01:19 ◼ ► they're going to be a lot of surfers who [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/79">TS</a>]
00:01:20 ◼ ► are very protective of their Beach [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/80">TS</a>]
00:01:26 ◼ ► happening here and we're having a you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/86">TS</a>]
00:01:28 ◼ ► know we're having a great time property [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/88">TS</a>]
00:01:29 ◼ ► values are skyrocketing and we couldn't [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/89">TS</a>]
00:01:31 ◼ ► be more excited about it oh my god what [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/91">TS</a>]
00:01:33 ◼ ► a great time to be a Seattle ition mm oh [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/93">TS</a>]
00:01:36 ◼ ► my goodness you we are we you know just [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/96">TS</a>]
00:01:39 ◼ ► administrivia we we were worried what we [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/99">TS</a>]
00:01:41 ◼ ► could work in recording this week with [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/101">TS</a>]
00:01:42 ◼ ► the with the with the holidays and what [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/102">TS</a>]
00:01:44 ◼ ► nuneaton you know what you know what you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/104">TS</a>]
00:01:45 ◼ ► you hit me hit me on my burner em I said [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/105">TS</a>]
00:01:48 ◼ ► what time i went to wear that was like [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/108">TS</a>]
00:01:50 ◼ ► boom I was like I was pulling into a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/110">TS</a>]
00:01:52 ◼ ► parking lot and I was like you know [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/112">TS</a>]
00:01:54 ◼ ► what's missing in my life you know what [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/114">TS</a>]
00:01:56 ◼ ► is missing right now is Merlin man oh [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/116">TS</a>]
00:01:58 ◼ ► man i need the show and i pinged you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/118">TS</a>]
00:02:01 ◼ ► being you know the thing is I've started [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/121">TS</a>]
00:02:03 ◼ ► to say like helping you what why don't [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/123">TS</a>]
00:02:06 ◼ ► ping ping ping ping and it's surprising [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/126">TS</a>]
00:02:09 ◼ ► how many people get upset about the use [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/129">TS</a>]
00:02:12 ◼ ► of the word ping it like being in [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/132">TS</a>]
00:02:14 ◼ ► transitively paint they don't want to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/134">TS</a>]
00:02:15 ◼ ► bed do not want to ping they do not want [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/135">TS</a>]
00:02:18 ◼ ► to deepen how do you on ping is nice in [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/138">TS</a>]
00:02:22 ◼ ► one way arm thing is nice because it [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/142">TS</a>]
00:02:25 ◼ ► exists without respect to how one pings [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/145">TS</a>]
00:02:29 ◼ ► so that could you call could be an email [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/149">TS</a>]
00:02:31 ◼ ► could be a text and then it has the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/151">TS</a>]
00:02:34 ◼ ► specificity but I'm not uh oh geez [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/154">TS</a>]
00:02:37 ◼ ► Louise of all the stupid stuff that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/157">TS</a>]
00:02:41 ◼ ► people say I ping is far from my biggest [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/161">TS</a>]
00:02:44 ◼ ► well I did the reason I use ping who not [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/164">TS</a>]
00:02:49 ◼ ► just because of its association with him [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/169">TS</a>]
00:02:51 ◼ ► with a very famous panda bear but also [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/171">TS</a>]
00:02:55 ◼ ► because of time let's see one ping [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/175">TS</a>]
00:02:59 ◼ ► Mowgli actually i finally saw that one [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/179">TS</a>]
00:03:02 ◼ ► laughing like yes one ping only oh let [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/182">TS</a>]
00:03:09 ◼ ► thank you um first-time caller the in [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/189">TS</a>]
00:03:13 ◼ ► the process of going to probably should [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/193">TS</a>]
00:03:16 ◼ ► oh geez Wow why don't we wait and we can [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/196">TS</a>]
00:03:18 ◼ ► save it for later I have a lot to have a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/198">TS</a>]
00:03:19 ◼ ► lot to talk about i have never looked up [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/199">TS</a>]
00:03:22 ◼ ► to do you need to be many new chip [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/202">TS</a>]
00:03:24 ◼ ► beetle beetle but by the way your [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/204">TS</a>]
00:03:26 ◼ ► identity kandice impersonation was [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/206">TS</a>]
00:03:27 ◼ ► impeccable shaman amo that's not like a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/207">TS</a>]
00:03:30 ◼ ► WoW building building the bundu gonna be [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/210">TS</a>]
00:03:35 ◼ ► a little bit bow i think it is with his [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/215">TS</a>]
00:03:40 ◼ ► well I think about when you think about [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/220">TS</a>]
00:03:41 ◼ ► the I mean I sometimes try to put myself [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/221">TS</a>]
00:03:43 ◼ ► in to anthony kiedis and see the world [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/223">TS</a>]
00:03:47 ◼ ► through those eyes and imagine the life [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/227">TS</a>]
00:03:51 ◼ ► that he led and I just feel so warm [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/231">TS</a>]
00:03:55 ◼ ► oh ok i'll write something down here um [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/235">TS</a>]
00:03:58 ◼ ► ok anyway so you want to jump you want [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/238">TS</a>]
00:03:59 ◼ ► to jump right in oh I also went out [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/239">TS</a>]
00:04:01 ◼ ► myself a little bit because for what our [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/241">TS</a>]
00:04:04 ◼ ► mama call the autumn of 1988 i really [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/244">TS</a>]
00:04:11 ◼ ► liked the red hot chili peppers mother's [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/251">TS</a>]
00:04:15 ◼ ► yeah if you see me getting mighty see me [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/255">TS</a>]
00:04:17 ◼ ► getting high right knock me down let me [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/257">TS</a>]
00:04:19 ◼ ► down there was none bigger than life [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/259">TS</a>]
00:04:21 ◼ ► I'm not big on life that was good shit [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/261">TS</a>]
00:04:23 ◼ ► it was really good and it had the truck [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/263">TS</a>]
00:04:26 ◼ ► driver key change toward the end I don't [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/266">TS</a>]
00:04:29 ◼ ► yeah they did and you know that was [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/269">TS</a>]
00:04:31 ◼ ► that's one of the things about rock and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/271">TS</a>]
00:04:33 ◼ ► roll right you a band comes up you're [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/273">TS</a>]
00:04:35 ◼ ► like this is interesting this is novel [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/275">TS</a>]
00:04:37 ◼ ► who who knows which direction y trap is [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/277">TS</a>]
00:04:41 ◼ ► who it could go a lot of ways and it [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/281">TS</a>]
00:04:47 ◼ ► this might be the way I mean you know [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/287">TS</a>]
00:04:53 ◼ ► they've sound a lot alike they are the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/293">TS</a>]
00:04:55 ◼ ► very similar in the two great size [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/295">TS</a>]
00:04:57 ◼ ► mhm and there was a there was a quite a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/297">TS</a>]
00:04:59 ◼ ► while there where like like punky punky [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/299">TS</a>]
00:05:02 ◼ ► punky funk seemed like it might be the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/302">TS</a>]
00:05:05 ◼ ► might be the way to go i mean i remember [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/305">TS</a>]
00:05:07 ◼ ► very distinctly in early nineteen [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/307">TS</a>]
00:05:09 ◼ ► ninety-one telling everybody I knew that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/309">TS</a>]
00:05:13 ◼ ► this like sludgy dumb heavy rock thing [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/313">TS</a>]
00:05:20 ◼ ► was really yesterday's news and what was [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/320">TS</a>]
00:05:25 ◼ ► what the music of the future was going [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/325">TS</a>]
00:05:27 ◼ ► to be was upbeat jangly pop and I was [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/327">TS</a>]
00:05:33 ◼ ► correct but it took ten years of sludgy [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/333">TS</a>]
00:05:38 ◼ ► grunge to get to upbeat generally pop [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/338">TS</a>]
00:05:42 ◼ ► yeah i mean with Rachel Paris it was [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/342">TS</a>]
00:05:43 ◼ ► such a weird thing is they were they [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/343">TS</a>]
00:05:46 ◼ ► were kind of their own thing for a while [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/346">TS</a>]
00:05:47 ◼ ► they they had the reputation for being [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/347">TS</a>]
00:05:50 ◼ ► Johnson's and stuff like that and that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/350">TS</a>]
00:05:55 ◼ ► oh yeah right that's why he wants to be [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/355">TS</a>]
00:05:57 ◼ ► knocked down yeah i think it was a shame [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/357">TS</a>]
00:05:59 ◼ ► that was a shame but I'm and we traveled [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/359">TS</a>]
00:06:02 ◼ ► out of town for the weekend and in [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/362">TS</a>]
00:06:05 ◼ ► Sacramento man they got a radio station [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/365">TS</a>]
00:06:07 ◼ ► there that I I didn't realize how much i [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/367">TS</a>]
00:06:10 ◼ ► wish we had here which was like 10 1.1 i [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/370">TS</a>]
00:06:14 ◼ ► think it was and it was a you know a lot [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/374">TS</a>]
00:06:16 ◼ ► of the like where the urban in urban [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/376">TS</a>]
00:06:20 ◼ ► stations will have the throwbacks you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/380">TS</a>]
00:06:22 ◼ ► have like a disco weekend they had like [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/382">TS</a>]
00:06:23 ◼ ► it was all like nineties mostly nineties [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/383">TS</a>]
00:06:31 ◼ ► good stuff it was a lot of stuff that I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/391">TS</a>]
00:06:32 ◼ ► was kind of tangentially aware because [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/392">TS</a>]
00:06:34 ◼ ► my eye I had peak hip hop in probably [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/394">TS</a>]
00:06:36 ◼ ► 1989-90 where I was just it was like [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/396">TS</a>]
00:06:38 ◼ ► almost all listen to it like that and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/398">TS</a>]
00:06:41 ◼ ► listened to and but I you know I I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/401">TS</a>]
00:06:44 ◼ ► wasn't like buying it and i think i [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/404">TS</a>]
00:06:46 ◼ ► bought the house of payne to set was [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/406">TS</a>]
00:06:48 ◼ ► like the last rap thing that i bought [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/408">TS</a>]
00:06:50 ◼ ► but it was it was so crazy because like [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/410">TS</a>]
00:06:52 ◼ ► song after song after song a lot of [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/412">TS</a>]
00:06:55 ◼ ► had only heard sampled yes but Ben stuff [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/415">TS</a>]
00:06:58 ◼ ► i had heard in years like the changing [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/418">TS</a>]
00:06:59 ◼ ► chink chink dr dre and snoop dogg song [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/419">TS</a>]
00:07:02 ◼ ► that's a pretty good song it is more [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/422">TS</a>]
00:07:04 ◼ ► like what far side i forgot about far [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/424">TS</a>]
00:07:09 ◼ ► uh-huh and what was what was the worst [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/429">TS</a>]
00:07:11 ◼ ► side was killer then there was a while [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/431">TS</a>]
00:07:13 ◼ ► we're far side felt like that was the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/433">TS</a>]
00:07:14 ◼ ► future far side was going to be a major [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/434">TS</a>]
00:07:17 ◼ ► almost like picking up the mantle of De [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/437">TS</a>]
00:07:19 ◼ ► La Soul in like you know what so you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/439">TS</a>]
00:07:21 ◼ ► don't have to play in the the kanye west [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/441">TS</a>]
00:07:24 ◼ ► kind of us that gold digger song it's a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/444">TS</a>]
00:07:26 ◼ ► great tune for the first Laura Neil solo [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/446">TS</a>]
00:07:30 ◼ ► record that's that's a bonafide classic [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/450">TS</a>]
00:07:32 ◼ ► classic funny part is that here's the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/452">TS</a>]
00:07:34 ◼ ► funny part so the signal starts fading [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/454">TS</a>]
00:07:36 ◼ ► hmm you know we put more rounds drive [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/456">TS</a>]
00:07:38 ◼ ► there and you know we heard everything [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/458">TS</a>]
00:07:44 ◼ ► everything all the words about this [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/464">TS</a>]
00:07:46 ◼ ► particular band make me laugh Marcy [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/466">TS</a>]
00:07:48 ◼ ► Playground oh bummer and I I guess I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/468">TS</a>]
00:07:53 ◼ ► contemporaries yes in the year that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/473">TS</a>]
00:07:56 ◼ ► didn't exist 1997 right they had a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/476">TS</a>]
00:07:59 ◼ ► my one candy rats male sex and candy be [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/479">TS</a>]
00:08:04 ◼ ► really you do em especially like cells [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/484">TS</a>]
00:08:06 ◼ ► me like he have a like you have a CD of [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/486">TS</a>]
00:08:09 ◼ ► nirvana unplugged is what you smell [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/489">TS</a>]
00:08:11 ◼ ► yeah I had shared a a shuttle bus ride [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/491">TS</a>]
00:08:14 ◼ ► with those guys one time from the hotel [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/494">TS</a>]
00:08:17 ◼ ► to the to the festival and I find that I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/497">TS</a>]
00:08:22 ◼ ► found them to be very smirky no no I'm [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/502">TS</a>]
00:08:26 ◼ ► yeah they were smirky my only point [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/506">TS</a>]
00:08:27 ◼ ► being it's it's funny how like Madeline [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/507">TS</a>]
00:08:29 ◼ ► and I heard that song and were like you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/509">TS</a>]
00:08:31 ◼ ► know it's it really sounds kind of a lot [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/511">TS</a>]
00:08:36 ◼ ► like life on a broad unplugged nirvana [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/516">TS</a>]
00:08:38 ◼ ► unplugged specifically and really kind [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/518">TS</a>]
00:08:41 ◼ ► of win-win was this like was this was [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/521">TS</a>]
00:08:43 ◼ ► like 93 94 97 97 years and Xavier did [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/523">TS</a>]
00:08:50 ◼ ► yeah yeah what was not nearly as fresh [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/530">TS</a>]
00:08:52 ◼ ► as like you know dr. dre computing that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/532">TS</a>]
00:08:55 ◼ ► you know not forget about him well and I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/535">TS</a>]
00:09:03 ◼ ► actually like literally having a music [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/543">TS</a>]
00:09:05 ◼ ► stroke right now like I just said impian [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/545">TS</a>]
00:09:11 ◼ ► went important it's not working i'm not [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/551">TS</a>]
00:09:14 ◼ ► sure i'm much better I feel like I think [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/554">TS</a>]
00:09:17 ◼ ► I pop the stand with us are so well [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/557">TS</a>]
00:09:19 ◼ ► because said ever since you mention it [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/559">TS</a>]
00:09:20 ◼ ► I've been just sitting here with the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/560">TS</a>]
00:09:22 ◼ ► with the with the constant repeat of [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/562">TS</a>]
00:09:25 ◼ ► go straight to the house of payne it's [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/565">TS</a>]
00:09:27 ◼ ► just been shouting in my head and I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/567">TS</a>]
00:09:29 ◼ ► don't remember I don't remember having [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/569">TS</a>]
00:09:33 ◼ ► having earmarked such a loud little [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/573">TS</a>]
00:09:35 ◼ ► place in my brain for that will just be [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/575">TS</a>]
00:09:37 ◼ ► stored the track star like each you and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/577">TS</a>]
00:09:41 ◼ ► then like digest you like / like a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/581">TS</a>]
00:09:43 ◼ ► thousand years 5,000 years like there [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/583">TS</a>]
00:09:45 ◼ ► are these little people that the Sarlacc [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/585">TS</a>]
00:09:46 ◼ ► of my mind ate that I've completely [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/586">TS</a>]
00:09:47 ◼ ► forgotten we're being digested and then [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/587">TS</a>]
00:09:49 ◼ ► suddenly it comes popping up and go oh [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/589">TS</a>]
00:09:51 ◼ ► my god it's just it's like you're there [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/591">TS</a>]
00:09:53 ◼ ► again I had one of those this morning on [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/593">TS</a>]
00:09:55 ◼ ► the was coming into town I saw under a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/595">TS</a>]
00:09:59 ◼ ► bridge there was a homeless person had [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/599">TS</a>]
00:10:01 ◼ ► built a little sort of enclosure for [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/601">TS</a>]
00:10:04 ◼ ► themselves out of Thompson's and bags [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/604">TS</a>]
00:10:06 ◼ ► and shopping carts and so forth and they [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/606">TS</a>]
00:10:08 ◼ ► had a bicycle change to what to the to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/608">TS</a>]
00:10:14 ◼ ► the handle of one of the carts that was [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/614">TS</a>]
00:10:18 ◼ ► elaborate housing construction and the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/618">TS</a>]
00:10:22 ◼ ► bicycle was a very old specialized that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/622">TS</a>]
00:10:28 ◼ ► was a bike i had once owned and as I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/628">TS</a>]
00:10:32 ◼ ► drove past it just caught a glimpse of [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/632">TS</a>]
00:10:33 ◼ ► this bike and I suddenly had this flash [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/633">TS</a>]
00:10:36 ◼ ► back to nineteen eighty-seven it was [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/636">TS</a>]
00:10:40 ◼ ► early days of mountain bikes and I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/640">TS</a>]
00:10:45 ◼ ► wanted to buy a mountain bike and I had [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/645">TS</a>]
00:10:48 ◼ ► a friend but I didn't have any money so [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/648">TS</a>]
00:10:49 ◼ ► i had a friend who had a friend who had [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/649">TS</a>]
00:10:53 ◼ ► a cabin up at Big Lake in Alaska which [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/653">TS</a>]
00:10:56 ◼ ► is quite a ways from Anchorage up to big [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/656">TS</a>]
00:10:58 ◼ ► lake big lake was where all the like all [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/658">TS</a>]
00:11:01 ◼ ► the rich kids their dads all had cabins [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/661">TS</a>]
00:11:04 ◼ ► on big lake and you could fly up there [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/664">TS</a>]
00:11:05 ◼ ► in a floatplane or you could drive up [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/665">TS</a>]
00:11:07 ◼ ► there and it was one of the few lakes [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/667">TS</a>]
00:11:10 ◼ ► you could drive to right at most lakes [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/670">TS</a>]
00:11:12 ◼ ► you couldn't but big lake was accessible [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/672">TS</a>]
00:11:15 ◼ ► it was where the jet skiing happened in [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/675">TS</a>]
00:11:17 ◼ ► the water skiing so forth so I Drive up [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/677">TS</a>]
00:11:19 ◼ ► to big lake with my friend sheffer [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/679">TS</a>]
00:11:24 ◼ ► mountain bike for sale and I get up [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/684">TS</a>]
00:11:27 ◼ ► there and it's this specialized which [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/687">TS</a>]
00:11:30 ◼ ► was not properly a mountain bike but it [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/690">TS</a>]
00:11:32 ◼ ► was one of those early early bikes [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/692">TS</a>]
00:11:37 ◼ ► wasn't i remember being a pretty not [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/697">TS</a>]
00:11:45 ◼ ► stand-up handlebars it was built to look [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/705">TS</a>]
00:11:48 ◼ ► like a mountain bike but it was very [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/708">TS</a>]
00:11:52 ◼ ► very upright riding position and i think [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/712">TS</a>]
00:11:55 ◼ ► it was it was before I don't know if you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/715">TS</a>]
00:11:58 ◼ ► remember this but early days of mountain [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/718">TS</a>]
00:11:59 ◼ ► biking there was a lot of question about [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/719">TS</a>]
00:12:01 ◼ ► what the frame geometry was gonna [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/721">TS</a>]
00:12:04 ◼ ► eventually look like for mountain bikes [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/724">TS</a>]
00:12:06 ◼ ► there were there was some argument that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/726">TS</a>]
00:12:08 ◼ ► a that when you spend more time riding [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/728">TS</a>]
00:12:12 ◼ ► uphill than down so the frame geometry [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/732">TS</a>]
00:12:14 ◼ ► should reflect a riding position that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/734">TS</a>]
00:12:16 ◼ ► was like level if you were climbing and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/736">TS</a>]
00:12:20 ◼ ► there was a lot of different radical [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/740">TS</a>]
00:12:22 ◼ ► design ideas in early mountain bikes [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/742">TS</a>]
00:12:24 ◼ ► before it all kind of settled down to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/744">TS</a>]
00:12:26 ◼ ► the overall general frame and this was [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/746">TS</a>]
00:12:30 ◼ ► like this was actually probably best [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/750">TS</a>]
00:12:33 ◼ ► described as a dad bike for but to my [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/753">TS</a>]
00:12:37 ◼ ► net mid-eighties eyes it looked like a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/757">TS</a>]
00:12:40 ◼ ► mountain bike because it had these q's [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/760">TS</a>]
00:12:43 ◼ ► these visual cues the the straight [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/763">TS</a>]
00:12:45 ◼ ► handlebars the knobby tires the few [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/765">TS</a>]
00:12:49 ◼ ► other things you know shimano components [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/769">TS</a>]
00:12:50 ◼ ► all these things that I was excited [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/770">TS</a>]
00:12:52 ◼ ► about and so the guy only wanted a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/772">TS</a>]
00:12:55 ◼ ► hundred bucks for it because he had [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/775">TS</a>]
00:12:57 ◼ ► bought himself a proper mountain bike [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/777">TS</a>]
00:12:59 ◼ ► and this was just a bike for riding [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/779">TS</a>]
00:13:01 ◼ ► around town but I didn't know the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/781">TS</a>]
00:13:02 ◼ ► difference and I remember I remember [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/782">TS</a>]
00:13:04 ◼ ► buying the so but anyway the first thing [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/784">TS</a>]
00:13:07 ◼ ► we did before any of the the negotiation [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/787">TS</a>]
00:13:10 ◼ ► before any transaction happened the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/790">TS</a>]
00:13:12 ◼ ► first thing we did was we all smoked a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/792">TS</a>]
00:13:14 ◼ ► ton of pot and then we were all really [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/794">TS</a>]
00:13:17 ◼ ► baked and this was at an age I mean I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/797">TS</a>]
00:13:22 ◼ ► was always very strongly affected by pot [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/802">TS</a>]
00:13:25 ◼ ► and.and I would get so stoned that I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/805">TS</a>]
00:13:30 ◼ ► could not function in anyone in any [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/810">TS</a>]
00:13:34 ◼ ► right way I would just I would I would [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/814">TS</a>]
00:13:37 ◼ ► become incapacitated by being too high [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/817">TS</a>]
00:13:45 ◼ ► negotiating a transaction which I could [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/825">TS</a>]
00:13:49 ◼ ► not I could not handle my half of it and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/829">TS</a>]
00:13:54 ◼ ► then I he said you know like here's the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/834">TS</a>]
00:13:57 ◼ ► bike it's a hundred bucks and I was like [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/837">TS</a>]
00:13:58 ◼ ► does the door and he said do you want to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/838">TS</a>]
00:14:01 ◼ ► take it for a test run and I was like [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/841">TS</a>]
00:14:03 ◼ ► yes and I got on the bike and not [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/843">TS</a>]
00:14:05 ◼ ► understanding how mountain bikes worked [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/845">TS</a>]
00:14:09 ◼ ► I assumed that you could just drive [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/849">TS</a>]
00:14:11 ◼ ► anywhere on it and so I i wrote 15 feet [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/851">TS</a>]
00:14:15 ◼ ► up the road off the road into the ditch [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/855">TS</a>]
00:14:17 ◼ ► into what was four feet of standing [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/857">TS</a>]
00:14:21 ◼ ► tractor mud and in my mind's eye I saw [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/861">TS</a>]
00:14:27 ◼ ► loading across the top of this tractor [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/867">TS</a>]
00:14:29 ◼ ► be settling a mean I wasn't as bad as it [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/869">TS</a>]
00:14:33 ◼ ► sounds it's worse on top of my new super [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/873">TS</a>]
00:14:36 ◼ ► mountain bike I was just gonna like go [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/876">TS</a>]
00:14:38 ◼ ► through this stuff a just just floating [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/878">TS</a>]
00:14:42 ◼ ► on top of it like a like a superstar and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/882">TS</a>]
00:14:43 ◼ ► I went right into this tractor mud end [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/883">TS</a>]
00:14:47 ◼ ► owed over the handlebars just into the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/887">TS</a>]
00:14:50 ◼ ► bike into the mud so that you could only [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/890">TS</a>]
00:14:52 ◼ ► see the tips of my shoes and the end of [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/892">TS</a>]
00:14:55 ◼ ► my nose and you have to know that these [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/895">TS</a>]
00:14:58 ◼ ► guys up a big lake they were like true [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/898">TS</a>]
00:15:04 ◼ ► spike water-ski dudes and sheffer was to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/904">TS</a>]
00:15:10 ◼ ► you know they all had Birkenstocks they [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/910">TS</a>]
00:15:13 ◼ ► all knew knew about all this stuff right [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/913">TS</a>]
00:15:17 ◼ ► and so I'm already i'm already reppin [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/917">TS</a>]
00:15:21 ◼ ► that I can't hold my weed because i'm [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/921">TS</a>]
00:15:25 ◼ ► too baked and everybody can tell them to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/925">TS</a>]
00:15:27 ◼ ► baked and I don't know anything about [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/927">TS</a>]
00:15:29 ◼ ► mountain bikes and then i go over the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/929">TS</a>]
00:15:31 ◼ ► handlebars into the by just i rode down [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/931">TS</a>]
00:15:33 ◼ ► the hill into a thing where any normal [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/933">TS</a>]
00:15:36 ◼ ► sensible person would have looked and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/936">TS</a>]
00:15:38 ◼ ► we don't go down what do you think and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/938">TS</a>]
00:15:40 ◼ ► then just splat right and there it's not [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/940">TS</a>]
00:15:45 ◼ ► that they're trying not to laugh it it's [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/945">TS</a>]
00:15:48 ◼ ► so stupid is even funny like think [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/948">TS</a>]
00:15:51 ◼ ► they're not it's not that they're [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/951">TS</a>]
00:15:52 ◼ ► laughing they are they are seriously [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/952">TS</a>]
00:15:54 ◼ ► like what is wrong with this person and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/954">TS</a>]
00:15:57 ◼ ► then I think they get me out of the mud [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/957">TS</a>]
00:15:59 ◼ ► they clean me off I'll take it and then [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/959">TS</a>]
00:16:02 ◼ ► they said somehow we're all standing [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/962">TS</a>]
00:16:05 ◼ ► around right and we're gonna go well i [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/965">TS</a>]
00:16:09 ◼ ► think i think still too although now i'm [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/969">TS</a>]
00:16:14 ◼ ► we're gonna go out on their boat for a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/974">TS</a>]
00:16:18 ◼ ► minute and somehow I screw up their boat [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/978">TS</a>]
00:16:21 ◼ ► like I got in the boat wrong I i sat in [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/981">TS</a>]
00:16:24 ◼ ► the driver's seat and turn on the engine [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/984">TS</a>]
00:16:27 ◼ ► Milton there wasn't any gas in it or [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/987">TS</a>]
00:16:29 ◼ ► decided I burnt suddenly the like the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/989">TS</a>]
00:16:31 ◼ ► boat is the boat motors smoking and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/991">TS</a>]
00:16:34 ◼ ► everybody's yelling at me and i don't [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/994">TS</a>]
00:16:36 ◼ ► i'm not proud of my performance that day [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/996">TS</a>]
00:16:40 ◼ ► and i remember that i remember these [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1000">TS</a>]
00:16:43 ◼ ► guys looking at me and like one of them [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1003">TS</a>]
00:16:45 ◼ ► saying like you know you like the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1005">TS</a>]
00:16:47 ◼ ► dumbest guy I've ever met and and what's [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1007">TS</a>]
00:16:52 ◼ ► amazing about it is that those guys are [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1012">TS</a>]
00:16:55 ◼ ► still alive probably they're no older [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1015">TS</a>]
00:16:57 ◼ ► than I am there in the world somewhere [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1017">TS</a>]
00:17:00 ◼ ► these two guys in their mid forties [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1020">TS</a>]
00:17:03 ◼ ► probably living in Alaska and if my name [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1023">TS</a>]
00:17:08 ◼ ► those two guys have a have one really [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1028">TS</a>]
00:17:11 ◼ ► fantastic story about what an idiot I am [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1031">TS</a>]
00:17:15 ◼ ► and they're not wrong I i am in in that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1035">TS</a>]
00:17:21 ◼ ► respect the dumbest guy either of those [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1041">TS</a>]
00:17:25 ◼ ► wow so that was what I was that that was [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1045">TS</a>]
00:17:28 ◼ ► my little like I'm glad to know that I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1048">TS</a>]
00:17:30 ◼ ► stored that whole very hazy story [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1050">TS</a>]
00:17:34 ◼ ► somewhere in my head to come out at the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1054">TS</a>]
00:17:37 ◼ ► suggestion of this specialized bike that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1057">TS</a>]
00:17:40 ◼ ► I caught out of the corner of my eye on [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1060">TS</a>]
00:17:42 ◼ ► that so that and that Augustine flashing [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1062">TS</a>]
00:17:44 ◼ ► back it all just the entire thing and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1064">TS</a>]
00:17:46 ◼ ► you know and I'm i think I'm i think i'm [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1066">TS</a>]
00:17:48 ◼ ► confusing it with another time that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1068">TS</a>]
00:17:49 ◼ ► Peter no second i went up to big lake [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1069">TS</a>]
00:17:52 ◼ ► and and also got into trouble and pretty [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1072">TS</a>]
00:17:58 ◼ ► much every time I went to Big Lake I got [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1078">TS</a>]
00:17:59 ◼ ► in trouble with somebody and i realized [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1079">TS</a>]
00:18:02 ◼ ► i needed to just stop going to big like [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1082">TS</a>]
00:18:03 ◼ ► it wasn't that was not ever going to be [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1083">TS</a>]
00:18:06 ◼ ► uh-huh i went to a party at a cabin one [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1086">TS</a>]
00:18:08 ◼ ► time a big lake and I showed up and they [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1088">TS</a>]
00:18:10 ◼ ► were all the people that had gone to my [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1090">TS</a>]
00:18:11 ◼ ► high school but they were all the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1091">TS</a>]
00:18:12 ◼ ► beautiful ones and for whatever reason [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1092">TS</a>]
00:18:15 ◼ ► that day for some other reason I'm not [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1095">TS</a>]
00:18:19 ◼ ► sure why but I chose to wear a tuxedo [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1099">TS</a>]
00:18:21 ◼ ► and I showed up at this lake cabin where [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1101">TS</a>]
00:18:24 ◼ ► everyone else is in bikinis and James [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1104">TS</a>]
00:18:28 ◼ ► remember jams of course I did yeah [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1108">TS</a>]
00:18:30 ◼ ► everybody's in jams and bikinis and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1110">TS</a>]
00:18:32 ◼ ► they're all jumping off the dock and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1112">TS</a>]
00:18:35 ◼ ► everything very very Alaskan version of [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1115">TS</a>]
00:18:38 ◼ ► like beach blanket bingo and jen you're [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1118">TS</a>]
00:18:41 ◼ ► in there in the rat pack and I'm there [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1121">TS</a>]
00:18:42 ◼ ► and I'm you know I'm just like I'm [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1122">TS</a>]
00:18:45 ◼ ► probably 25 pounds over my my normal [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1125">TS</a>]
00:18:48 ◼ ► weight and i'm wearing a brown tuxedo [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1128">TS</a>]
00:18:50 ◼ ► and you know and I had long hair and it [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1130">TS</a>]
00:18:55 ◼ ► was just like that people were walking [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1135">TS</a>]
00:18:57 ◼ ► something front and we'll acted and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1137">TS</a>]
00:19:00 ◼ ► looked like Brian Wilson but I didn't [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1140">TS</a>]
00:19:02 ◼ ► have the good sense to either stay in [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1142">TS</a>]
00:19:03 ◼ ► the car or drive back to the town where [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1143">TS</a>]
00:19:05 ◼ ► ever I walked right down on the dock and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1145">TS</a>]
00:19:07 ◼ ► so I'm standing on the dot i'm standing [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1147">TS</a>]
00:19:11 ◼ ► it's an Abercrombie & Fitch ad all [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1151">TS</a>]
00:19:13 ◼ ► around me and it was one of those things [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1153">TS</a>]
00:19:16 ◼ ► i used to get this used to be true all [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1156">TS</a>]
00:19:17 ◼ ► the time my mere presence in the scene [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1157">TS</a>]
00:19:21 ◼ ► bummed everyone else and like about come [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1161">TS</a>]
00:19:26 ◼ ► my mere presence there made sure that no [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1166">TS</a>]
00:19:29 ◼ ► one was going to have sex that afternoon [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1169">TS</a>]
00:19:30 ◼ ► because everybody suddenly lost the mood [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1170">TS</a>]
00:19:34 ◼ ► and so that you know like all the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1174">TS</a>]
00:19:37 ◼ ► dudebros we're looking at me like to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1177">TS</a>]
00:19:39 ◼ ► just like get out of here or something [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1179">TS</a>]
00:19:43 ◼ ► I don't know go for a walk down the dirt [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1183">TS</a>]
00:19:45 ◼ ► road or something I'm like what do you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1185">TS</a>]
00:19:46 ◼ ► mean I that when i was also smoking and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1186">TS</a>]
00:19:51 ◼ ► a you know and probably like drinking [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1191">TS</a>]
00:19:56 ◼ ► everything about it was meant for any [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1196">TS</a>]
00:20:01 ◼ ► for from another place and and probably [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1201">TS</a>]
00:20:04 ◼ ► a place that did not exist maybe a place [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1204">TS</a>]
00:20:09 ◼ ► oh god it's so brutal all i have to do [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1209">TS</a>]
00:20:13 ◼ ► is just see this this bicycle on the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1213">TS</a>]
00:20:14 ◼ ► street today and it's all they're all [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1214">TS</a>]
00:20:18 ◼ ► there's nobody there who kind of pull [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1218">TS</a>]
00:20:19 ◼ ► you aside and go you know you needed a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1219">TS</a>]
00:20:21 ◼ ► couple of these interesting expectations [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1221">TS</a>]
00:20:23 ◼ ► and things even met one just maybe leave [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1223">TS</a>]
00:20:25 ◼ ► those on the counter next nobody could [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1225">TS</a>]
00:20:26 ◼ ► nobody could because because there [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1226">TS</a>]
00:20:28 ◼ ► wasn't a single other person at the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1228">TS</a>]
00:20:29 ◼ ► party I mean my friend Peter loved to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1229">TS</a>]
00:20:32 ◼ ► take me places where he could turn me [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1232">TS</a>]
00:20:35 ◼ ► loose like the elephant man he he he [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1235">TS</a>]
00:20:38 ◼ ► loved he loved you know Peter was always [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1238">TS</a>]
00:20:40 ◼ ► Peter was was he had a good sense of [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1240">TS</a>]
00:20:43 ◼ ► what to do how to handle himself he was [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1243">TS</a>]
00:20:46 ◼ ► not like ever the chicest person but he [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1246">TS</a>]
00:20:49 ◼ ► knew how to be at any party and seemed [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1249">TS</a>]
00:20:54 ◼ ► alright um and what Peter loved to roll [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1254">TS</a>]
00:20:59 ◼ ► me into places and turn me loose and it [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1259">TS</a>]
00:21:03 ◼ ► was and and and people at the party [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1263">TS</a>]
00:21:04 ◼ ► would be like who in five who invited [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1264">TS</a>]
00:21:08 ◼ ► this gorilla and it and you know and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1268">TS</a>]
00:21:11 ◼ ► Peter was happy to claim responsibility [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1271">TS</a>]
00:21:12 ◼ ► but but never but somehow was able also [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1272">TS</a>]
00:21:17 ◼ ► to disavow all my crimes right so he [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1277">TS</a>]
00:21:21 ◼ ► could he could take credit for having [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1281">TS</a>]
00:21:23 ◼ ► brought this monster to the party but it [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1283">TS</a>]
00:21:26 ◼ ► was not his prayer was but I mean he got [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1286">TS</a>]
00:21:28 ◼ ► chased out of a lot of parties to that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1288">TS</a>]
00:21:31 ◼ ► but anyway as my chaperone but it's also [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1291">TS</a>]
00:21:34 ◼ ► it's different to i don't know i may be [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1294">TS</a>]
00:21:39 ◼ ► different kind of thing but I feel like [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1299">TS</a>]
00:21:40 ◼ ► there's this certain kind of feeling [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1300">TS</a>]
00:21:41 ◼ ► were and I am I had when I especially [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1301">TS</a>]
00:21:43 ◼ ► like junior high and so high school I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1303">TS</a>]
00:21:45 ◼ ► was so freaking weird because I kind of [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1305">TS</a>]
00:21:47 ◼ ► wanted to be weird but I didn't realize [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1307">TS</a>]
00:21:49 ◼ ► that the look I was coming up with [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1309">TS</a>]
00:21:51 ◼ ► wasn't really pulled together too well [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1311">TS</a>]
00:21:53 ◼ ► and it combined too many disparate [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1313">TS</a>]
00:21:55 ◼ ► elements and you know this it's it's a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1315">TS</a>]
00:21:57 ◼ ► sort of always feel like I never quite [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1317">TS</a>]
00:21:58 ◼ ► knew how to comb my hair to make it look [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1318">TS</a>]
00:22:00 ◼ ► like other people's hair even when I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1320">TS</a>]
00:22:02 ◼ ► wore what you know theoretically the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1322">TS</a>]
00:22:04 ◼ ► same kinds of clothes other people that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1324">TS</a>]
00:22:06 ◼ ► didn't look right i still look like me [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1326">TS</a>]
00:22:09 ◼ ► and in like it's what I would just I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1329">TS</a>]
00:22:10 ◼ ► would kill for that ability to just be [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1330">TS</a>]
00:22:13 ◼ ► an average person at an event and not [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1333">TS</a>]
00:22:15 ◼ ► feel like a like a bizarre social [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1335">TS</a>]
00:22:18 ◼ ► me too and particularly when when young [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1338">TS</a>]
00:22:22 ◼ ► people started to make out with each [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1342">TS</a>]
00:22:24 ◼ ► other and want to go make out with each [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1344">TS</a>]
00:22:25 ◼ ► other and want to go have sex with each [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1345">TS</a>]
00:22:27 ◼ ► other like I had a perverse pride in [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1347">TS</a>]
00:22:30 ◼ ► being the the last man standing right [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1350">TS</a>]
00:22:36 ◼ ► everybody goes off into the into the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1356">TS</a>]
00:22:39 ◼ ► it's what you want the saddest game of [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1359">TS</a>]
00:22:41 ◼ ► musical chairs yeah and I'm sitting out [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1361">TS</a>]
00:22:43 ◼ ► there you know i'm sitting out there [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1363">TS</a>]
00:22:44 ◼ ► going through the their parents jazz LP [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1364">TS</a>]
00:22:46 ◼ ► is going wow this is a very rare record [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1366">TS</a>]
00:22:49 ◼ ► this this is an extremely rare album we [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1369">TS</a>]
00:22:53 ◼ ► heard you just below her chick low [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1373">TS</a>]
00:22:56 ◼ ► anyway if never felt that never felt a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1376">TS</a>]
00:23:01 ◼ ► net because because then you know when i [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1381">TS</a>]
00:23:05 ◼ ► started to hang out with weirdos [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1385">TS</a>]
00:23:07 ◼ ► I hoped that the weirdos would that I'd [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1387">TS</a>]
00:23:11 ◼ ► find my found my people but of course [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1391">TS</a>]
00:23:16 ◼ ► you know I just still can't eat those in [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1396">TS</a>]
00:23:18 ◼ ► a methodology even to being a weirdo [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1398">TS</a>]
00:23:20 ◼ ► like being a weirdo in there in the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1400">TS</a>]
00:23:23 ◼ ► yeah yeah and the weirdos want to go [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1403">TS</a>]
00:23:27 ◼ ► desperately wanted to go make out with [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1407">TS</a>]
00:23:29 ◼ ► somebody i just did not know how to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1409">TS</a>]
00:23:32 ◼ ► affect that I never felt like I had any [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1412">TS</a>]
00:23:35 ◼ ► access to that I mean people who would [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1415">TS</a>]
00:23:38 ◼ ► just meet at a party and make out and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1418">TS</a>]
00:23:42 ◼ ► I mean I might as well like wanted to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1422">TS</a>]
00:23:45 ◼ ► sprout wings that seems so foreign to me [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1425">TS</a>]
00:23:47 ◼ ► yeah yeah particularly when you could be [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1427">TS</a>]
00:23:50 ◼ ► arguing about LBJ in the well and a lot [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1430">TS</a>]
00:23:55 ◼ ► of times arguing about LBJ in the mirror [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1435">TS</a>]
00:23:58 ◼ ► because you couldn't find anybody else [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1438">TS</a>]
00:24:00 ◼ ► to argue about LBJ with you and the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1440">TS</a>]
00:24:03 ◼ ► field you know the few times where I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1443">TS</a>]
00:24:04 ◼ ► would be at a party there would be an [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1444">TS</a>]
00:24:06 ◼ ► attractive woman there we would start [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1446">TS</a>]
00:24:08 ◼ ► talking we would start talking about LBJ [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1448">TS</a>]
00:24:10 ◼ ► she would be really smart on the topic [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1450">TS</a>]
00:24:14 ◼ ► of LBJ that it made it somehow even [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1454">TS</a>]
00:24:17 ◼ ► worse i would i would have to throw [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1457">TS</a>]
00:24:19 ◼ ► myself off the balcony to get away from [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1459">TS</a>]
00:24:22 ◼ ► fascinating charming woman who wanted to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1462">TS</a>]
00:24:24 ◼ ► talk about LBJ with me so case you might [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1464">TS</a>]
00:24:27 ◼ ► have just been like a temporary safe [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1467">TS</a>]
00:24:29 ◼ ► harbor at the party like somebody to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1469">TS</a>]
00:24:31 ◼ ► talk to and not feel hassles or not feel [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1471">TS</a>]
00:24:33 ◼ ► you know well no she was chief had [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1473">TS</a>]
00:24:35 ◼ ► finally found someone to talk to about [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1475">TS</a>]
00:24:36 ◼ ► LBJ to only on anything more tragic and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1476">TS</a>]
00:24:39 ◼ ► all the more tragic that then i had to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1479">TS</a>]
00:24:41 ◼ ► run out and as I was running out the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1481">TS</a>]
00:24:45 ◼ ► last decision i made as I was running [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1485">TS</a>]
00:24:48 ◼ ► everybody's shoes right so that was [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1488">TS</a>]
00:24:51 ◼ ► never I never given just ran out i also [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1491">TS</a>]
00:24:54 ◼ ► took everybody shoes and then was [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1494">TS</a>]
00:24:56 ◼ ► remembered for the rest of its subtle [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1496">TS</a>]
00:24:59 ◼ ► weaker arrested up the year right as the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1499">TS</a>]
00:25:01 ◼ ► that fucking guy who was told everybody [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1501">TS</a>]
00:25:04 ◼ ► shoes that are fat guy in a brown tuxedo [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1504">TS</a>]
00:25:07 ◼ ► is stuck in the film everybody shoes he [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1507">TS</a>]
00:25:10 ◼ ► was you know he was talking to that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1510">TS</a>]
00:25:11 ◼ ► other weird girl for a long time and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1511">TS</a>]
00:25:13 ◼ ► then he stole everybody shoes including [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1513">TS</a>]
00:25:15 ◼ ► hers like didn't even and didn't do [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1515">TS</a>]
00:25:18 ◼ ► anything with him just put him in the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1518">TS</a>]
00:25:19 ◼ ► trunk of his car and drove around career [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1519">TS</a>]
00:25:20 ◼ ► like there's just no and I have to I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1520">TS</a>]
00:25:24 ◼ ► have to say that it because i went to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1524">TS</a>]
00:25:27 ◼ ► yeah and if I had waited a year maybe my [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1527">TS</a>]
00:25:31 ◼ ► whole life would be different maybe I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1531">TS</a>]
00:25:33 ◼ ► would have been so much better if I had [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1533">TS</a>]
00:25:36 ◼ ► just spent that extra year being a kid [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1536">TS</a>]
00:25:40 ◼ ► you you are me maybe kidding but I think [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1540">TS</a>]
00:25:44 ◼ ► mhm and it was instrumental in our [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1544">TS</a>]
00:25:46 ◼ ► decision to have our kid a holdback we [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1546">TS</a>]
00:25:53 ◼ ► powerfully not kidding i feel like if i [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1553">TS</a>]
00:25:55 ◼ ► had been if I'd gone if I because there [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1555">TS</a>]
00:25:58 ◼ ► were kids I mean I had a good friend in [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1558">TS</a>]
00:26:00 ◼ ► high school who was in 11th grade when i [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1560">TS</a>]
00:26:02 ◼ ► was in 12th grade and he and I had the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1562">TS</a>]
00:26:04 ◼ ► exact same birthday and yeah he was [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1564">TS</a>]
00:26:08 ◼ ► Rico suave in his own grade and I was [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1568">TS</a>]
00:26:14 ◼ ► mean but by senior year I had figured [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1574">TS</a>]
00:26:16 ◼ ► out a way to be a part of the part of [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1576">TS</a>]
00:26:20 ◼ ► the culture and part of the class and to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1580">TS</a>]
00:26:22 ◼ ► be somebody who mattered but uh but I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1582">TS</a>]
00:26:28 ◼ ► mature enough to to play the reindeer [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1588">TS</a>]
00:26:32 ◼ ► gayness you know what I mean I kill him [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1592">TS</a>]
00:26:34 ◼ ► but you think about like even just [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1594">TS</a>]
00:26:36 ◼ ► looking normal I think about I've told [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1596">TS</a>]
00:26:38 ◼ ► you before I think I really see this in [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1598">TS</a>]
00:26:40 ◼ ► 5th graders at my kids school because [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1600">TS</a>]
00:26:43 ◼ ► it's kindergarten to fifth grade and the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1603">TS</a>]
00:26:45 ◼ ► thing is the the standard deviation on [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1605">TS</a>]
00:26:48 ◼ ► maturity and fifth-graders is nothing [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1608">TS</a>]
00:26:51 ◼ ► there are a couple couple guys but [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1611">TS</a>]
00:26:55 ◼ ► especially they're like these three [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1615">TS</a>]
00:26:56 ◼ ► girls who are obviously like in charge [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1616">TS</a>]
00:26:58 ◼ ► of the school and to these girls were [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1618">TS</a>]
00:27:00 ◼ ► taller than I am and they look about 16 [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1620">TS</a>]
00:27:03 ◼ ► and they're in fifth grade and then of [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1623">TS</a>]
00:27:05 ◼ ► course there are there a lot of kids are [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1625">TS</a>]
00:27:07 ◼ ► just random kids with boogers and then [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1627">TS</a>]
00:27:09 ◼ ► there are some fifth graders my daughter [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1629">TS</a>]
00:27:11 ◼ ► my daughter is taller than and she's in [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1631">TS</a>]
00:27:14 ◼ ► it'sit's so you think about that just [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1634">TS</a>]
00:27:15 ◼ ► even if even taking that into account [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1635">TS</a>]
00:27:17 ◼ ► but then imagine adding or subtracting a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1637">TS</a>]
00:27:19 ◼ ► year from that and you can see how [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1639">TS</a>]
00:27:20 ◼ ► completely bananas that can get you know [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1640">TS</a>]
00:27:23 ◼ ► if it you know ways against you the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1643">TS</a>]
00:27:26 ◼ ► the funny thing is like my kid this is [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1646">TS</a>]
00:27:27 ◼ ► her last week of school she's in for [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1647">TS</a>]
00:27:29 ◼ ► ending first grade this week and this is [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1649">TS</a>]
00:27:31 ◼ ► her fifth year of being in school which [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1651">TS</a>]
00:27:34 ◼ ► I sometimes think about and I think how [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1654">TS</a>]
00:27:35 ◼ ► how strange and different that is then [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1655">TS</a>]
00:27:39 ◼ ► when I was a kid where she had three [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1659">TS</a>]
00:27:41 ◼ ► years of preschool we had heard you a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1661">TS</a>]
00:27:43 ◼ ► graduate year in preschool and that was [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1663">TS</a>]
00:27:46 ◼ ► the year we gonna say hey you know still [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1666">TS</a>]
00:27:47 ◼ ► we love this place we really like this [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1667">TS</a>]
00:27:49 ◼ ► she was kind of shy you know and we [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1669">TS</a>]
00:27:51 ◼ ► thought I you know my daughter my uh my [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1671">TS</a>]
00:27:53 ◼ ► wife started school on the early side i [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1673">TS</a>]
00:27:55 ◼ ► started going the late side and we both [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1675">TS</a>]
00:27:57 ◼ ► agree that i had the better deal [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1677">TS</a>]
00:27:58 ◼ ► everybody i know he started later I you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1678">TS</a>]
00:28:01 ◼ ► know I think there's a thing today of [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1681">TS</a>]
00:28:02 ◼ ► like we should put your kid harder put [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1682">TS</a>]
00:28:03 ◼ ► your tiny little four-year-old and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1683">TS</a>]
00:28:04 ◼ ► kindergarten whatever that's everybody's [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1684">TS</a>]
00:28:06 ◼ ► personal choice like if your kid can [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1686">TS</a>]
00:28:07 ◼ ► read really well and therefore it seems [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1687">TS</a>]
00:28:09 ◼ ► like a no-brainer don't hold him back [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1689">TS</a>]
00:28:10 ◼ ► but I think about that now and like it's [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1690">TS</a>]
00:28:15 ◼ ► this I must be honest you stayed at home [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1695">TS</a>]
00:28:18 ◼ ► with your mom mostly or with a family [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1698">TS</a>]
00:28:19 ◼ ► member i did not know that many kids who [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1699">TS</a>]
00:28:22 ◼ ► weren't Catholic that went to school [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1702">TS</a>]
00:28:24 ◼ ► before kindergarten almost all the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1704">TS</a>]
00:28:26 ◼ ► Catholic kids went to preschool or [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1706">TS</a>]
00:28:28 ◼ ► nursery school as they called them you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1708">TS</a>]
00:28:30 ◼ ► know what i mean so much I mean now I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1710">TS</a>]
00:28:32 ◼ ► think about oh my god it's no wonder it [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1712">TS</a>]
00:28:35 ◼ ► I was at home with my mom all day and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1715">TS</a>]
00:28:38 ◼ ► and play my parenting my own little [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1718">TS</a>]
00:28:39 ◼ ► personal reindeer games and talking into [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1719">TS</a>]
00:28:41 ◼ ► the mirror about LBJ and then the hey [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1721">TS</a>]
00:28:43 ◼ ► Here I am and I was a good reader and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1723">TS</a>]
00:28:45 ◼ ► stuff like I was a smart kid but I show [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1725">TS</a>]
00:28:46 ◼ ► up in fifth grade and I was like you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1726">TS</a>]
00:28:48 ◼ ► well I remember just feeling like [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1728">TS</a>]
00:28:50 ◼ ► everybody here I've said this before [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1730">TS</a>]
00:28:52 ◼ ► also but I really feel like everybody [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1732">TS</a>]
00:28:53 ◼ ► here got a manual that I didn't get have [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1733">TS</a>]
00:28:55 ◼ ► no idea how to conduct myself with these [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1735">TS</a>]
00:28:57 ◼ ► other kids i have no idea how to how to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1737">TS</a>]
00:28:59 ◼ ► scrap for status even in kindergarten [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1739">TS</a>]
00:29:02 ◼ ► and now I mean it's weird because I mean [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1742">TS</a>]
00:29:04 ◼ ► that the truth is that those three years [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1744">TS</a>]
00:29:06 ◼ ► of school really good thing for my kids [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1746">TS</a>]
00:29:07 ◼ ► she showed up in kindergarten and she [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1747">TS</a>]
00:29:09 ◼ ► kind of already knew like how a day goes [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1749">TS</a>]
00:29:10 ◼ ► it seems like it seems I mean like [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1750">TS</a>]
00:29:13 ◼ ► criticizing but like that's I mean I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1753">TS</a>]
00:29:16 ◼ ► don't know I feel like I could use that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1756">TS</a>]
00:29:17 ◼ ► I really could have used a remedial [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1757">TS</a>]
00:29:18 ◼ ► course on how to be a little kid and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1758">TS</a>]
00:29:21 ◼ ► that would have that would help for the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1761">TS</a>]
00:29:25 ◼ ► yeah I a remedial course in how to be a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1765">TS</a>]
00:29:27 ◼ ► little kid I think I still would have [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1767">TS</a>]
00:29:31 ◼ ► my second year in college oh well you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1771">TS</a>]
00:29:34 ◼ ► know the thing is you're kind of by the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1774">TS</a>]
00:29:36 ◼ ► time on I'm this broad numbers here but [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1776">TS</a>]
00:29:38 ◼ ► i think by the time if you've got a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1778">TS</a>]
00:29:40 ◼ ► relatively stable home life and like a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1780">TS</a>]
00:29:43 ◼ ► relatively you know stable normal public [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1783">TS</a>]
00:29:45 ◼ ► school i think by 3rd or 4th grade most [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1785">TS</a>]
00:29:49 ◼ ► kids know how stuff should work like you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1789">TS</a>]
00:29:52 ◼ ► pick up an awful lot when you're a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1792">TS</a>]
00:29:53 ◼ ► little kid and if you choose to do [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1793">TS</a>]
00:29:56 ◼ ► something different from what's expected [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1796">TS</a>]
00:29:57 ◼ ► of you you do so with full knowledge of [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1797">TS</a>]
00:29:59 ◼ ► what the consequences or you know ups or [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1799">TS</a>]
00:30:02 ◼ ► downs of that are but I think there's a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1802">TS</a>]
00:30:04 ◼ ► latent period where you get you just get [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1804">TS</a>]
00:30:06 ◼ ► so goofy for a while and then maybe you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1806">TS</a>]
00:30:08 ◼ ► come back and maybe like oh you know [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1808">TS</a>]
00:30:10 ◼ ► sophomore year of high school I kind of [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1810">TS</a>]
00:30:12 ◼ ► got it together or whatever like every [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1812">TS</a>]
00:30:13 ◼ ► kid is different but you're totally [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1813">TS</a>]
00:30:15 ◼ ► second-year college is a bloodbath I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1815">TS</a>]
00:30:18 ◼ ► feel like I feel like my sophomore year [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1818">TS</a>]
00:30:20 ◼ ► in high school was the first one where I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1820">TS</a>]
00:30:22 ◼ ► started to kind of get it together but i [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1822">TS</a>]
00:30:23 ◼ ► remember in grade school through to two [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1823">TS</a>]
00:30:28 ◼ ► kids one when I was in grade school in [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1828">TS</a>]
00:30:30 ◼ ► Seattle like fourth grade and he was he [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1830">TS</a>]
00:30:35 ◼ ► was small but the girls loved him and he [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1835">TS</a>]
00:30:41 ◼ ► was you know quiet and smooth and cool [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1841">TS</a>]
00:30:43 ◼ ► right he he was like the kid in Bad News [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1843">TS</a>]
00:30:49 ◼ ► Bears that drop the motorcycle who he [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1849">TS</a>]
00:30:52 ◼ ► wasn't he wasn't bad it wasn't good [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1852">TS</a>]
00:30:55 ◼ ► he was cool man in fourth grade I can't [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1855">TS</a>]
00:31:01 ◼ ► and I was big even then and loud even [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1861">TS</a>]
00:31:05 ◼ ► then and I i remember going over to his [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1865">TS</a>]
00:31:10 ◼ ► house a couple of times he was nice to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1870">TS</a>]
00:31:13 ◼ ► me but there was there was cool in him [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1873">TS</a>]
00:31:17 ◼ ► that was never gonna rub off on me and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1877">TS</a>]
00:31:24 ◼ ► comfortable with 4th grade girls but he [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1884">TS</a>]
00:31:28 ◼ ► wasn't you know he wasn't playing with [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1888">TS</a>]
00:31:32 ◼ ► them he wasn't playing house with them [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1892">TS</a>]
00:31:35 ◼ ► he was already cool enough that they had [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1895">TS</a>]
00:31:40 ◼ ► crushes on him a whole different a whole [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1900">TS</a>]
00:31:44 ◼ ► different concept like it better like [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1904">TS</a>]
00:31:47 ◼ ► he's got a certain kind of like a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1907">TS</a>]
00:31:50 ◼ ► yep yep he was you know he liked talk to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1910">TS</a>]
00:31:55 ◼ ► his parents i don't i'm not sure if he [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1915">TS</a>]
00:31:56 ◼ ► called his parents by their first names [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1916">TS</a>]
00:31:58 ◼ ► but it felt like that in his home and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1918">TS</a>]
00:32:03 ◼ ► self-possessed in a way that I wouldn't [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1923">TS</a>]
00:32:05 ◼ ► be four decades and then when i moved to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1925">TS</a>]
00:32:08 ◼ ► Alaska there was a another little boy he [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1928">TS</a>]
00:32:11 ◼ ► was very small compared to me and you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1931">TS</a>]
00:32:15 ◼ ► know like his name was Brian nominee and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1935">TS</a>]
00:32:19 ◼ ► a lorry basler loved Brian nominee and I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1939">TS</a>]
00:32:25 ◼ ► love Lori basler and there was this to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1945">TS</a>]
00:32:31 ◼ ► it caused me to not like Brian nominee [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1951">TS</a>]
00:32:35 ◼ ► even though brian amy was perfectly good [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1955">TS</a>]
00:32:38 ◼ ► to me and made no he made no overture to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1958">TS</a>]
00:32:43 ◼ ► Lori basler he just was himself cool and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1963">TS</a>]
00:32:48 ◼ ► small and blond and had long straight [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1968">TS</a>]
00:32:51 ◼ ► hair parted in the middle that he comes [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1971">TS</a>]
00:32:53 ◼ ► with a goodie comb and he was good at [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1973">TS</a>]
00:32:55 ◼ ► roller skating but he was just he didn't [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1975">TS</a>]
00:33:04 ◼ ► understand i mean i could very much [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1984">TS</a>]
00:33:06 ◼ ► understand what Larry Bosler saw him I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1986">TS</a>]
00:33:09 ◼ ► couldn't understand how to make myself [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1989">TS</a>]
00:33:12 ◼ ► b.p different and just just and you know [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1992">TS</a>]
00:33:18 ◼ ► and and the girl who liked me was Chris [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/1998">TS</a>]
00:33:22 ◼ ► Fayette and crisp yet had headgear and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2002">TS</a>]
00:33:26 ◼ ► big freckles and what I think about it [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2006">TS</a>]
00:33:32 ◼ ► now I should have just loved crispy add [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2012">TS</a>]
00:33:34 ◼ ► that would have made everything so much [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2014">TS</a>]
00:33:36 ◼ ► better for me in my life but I couldn't [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2016">TS</a>]
00:33:40 ◼ ► love crispy and I had the lovely basler [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2020">TS</a>]
00:33:42 ◼ ► very badly as a very credible name this [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2022">TS</a>]
00:33:47 ◼ ► episode of rock on the line is brought [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2027">TS</a>]
00:33:48 ◼ ► to you by Squarespace you can start [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2028">TS</a>]
00:33:50 ◼ ► building your very own Squarespace site [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2030">TS</a>]
00:33:52 ◼ ► today by visiting squarespace.com [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2032">TS</a>]
00:33:54 ◼ ► remember when you checkout always use [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2034">TS</a>]
00:33:56 ◼ ► that offer code supertrain for ten [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2036">TS</a>]
00:33:58 ◼ ► percent off gang i have been using [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2038">TS</a>]
00:34:00 ◼ ► square space for over five years now [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2040">TS</a>]
00:34:02 ◼ ► I think they're just the greatest if you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2042">TS</a>]
00:34:05 ◼ ► here's what you have to look forward to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2045">TS</a>]
00:34:07 ◼ ► all their sites look professionally [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2047">TS</a>]
00:34:09 ◼ ► designed regardless of your skill level [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2049">TS</a>]
00:34:10 ◼ ► there is no coding required all of the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2050">TS</a>]
00:34:13 ◼ ► tools are so intuitive and easy-to-use a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2053">TS</a>]
00:34:15 ◼ ► wonderful drag-and-drop interface [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2055">TS</a>]
00:34:17 ◼ ► Squarespace has state-of-the-art [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2057">TS</a>]
00:34:19 ◼ ► technology powering your site ensure [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2059">TS</a>]
00:34:21 ◼ ► security and stability Squarespace is [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2061">TS</a>]
00:34:23 ◼ ► trusted by millions of people some of [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2063">TS</a>]
00:34:26 ◼ ► the most respected brands in the world [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2066">TS</a>]
00:34:27 ◼ ► the crazy part is Squarespace sites [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2067">TS</a>]
00:34:30 ◼ ► start at eight dollars a month and you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2070">TS</a>]
00:34:32 ◼ ► even get a free domain name if you sign [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2072">TS</a>]
00:34:34 ◼ ► up for a year which i can totally [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2074">TS</a>]
00:34:35 ◼ ► recommend John and I have u square space [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2075">TS</a>]
00:34:37 ◼ ► to host rock on the line for three years [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2077">TS</a>]
00:34:40 ◼ ► and they've been just great to work with [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2080">TS</a>]
00:34:41 ◼ ► totally seamless we would love it if you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2081">TS</a>]
00:34:44 ◼ ► would give them a try to so please go [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2084">TS</a>]
00:34:46 ◼ ► start your free trial today no credit [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2086">TS</a>]
00:34:47 ◼ ► card required just visit squarespace.com [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2087">TS</a>]
00:34:50 ◼ ► when you're ready to sign up for [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2090">TS</a>]
00:34:52 ◼ ► Squarespace make sure to use the very [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2092">TS</a>]
00:34:54 ◼ ► special offer code supertrain and you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2094">TS</a>]
00:34:56 ◼ ► will get ten percent off your first [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2096">TS</a>]
00:34:58 ◼ ► purchase our thanks to squarespace for [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2098">TS</a>]
00:35:00 ◼ ► making the web so beautiful and for [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2100">TS</a>]
00:35:04 ◼ ► Squarespace build it beautiful Lori [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2104">TS</a>]
00:35:06 ◼ ► burns like me in cary colomer is not a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2106">TS</a>]
00:35:08 ◼ ► criminal named Carrie colomer yeah she [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2108">TS</a>]
00:35:11 ◼ ► had a twin sister sharing sharing [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2111">TS</a>]
00:35:12 ◼ ► kerikeri and sherry colomer dar I oh my [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2112">TS</a>]
00:35:17 ◼ ► god you don't even know how many times i [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2117">TS</a>]
00:35:19 ◼ ► wrote the name Carrie colomer over and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2119">TS</a>]
00:35:21 ◼ ► over i can i can only imagine i feel [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2121">TS</a>]
00:35:24 ◼ ► close like this close but i just i don't [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2124">TS</a>]
00:35:26 ◼ ► i wasn't i wasn't in her League and you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2126">TS</a>]
00:35:29 ◼ ► know and the thing is what we're [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2129">TS</a>]
00:35:30 ◼ ► describing partly as you you have this [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2130">TS</a>]
00:35:32 ◼ ► get this certain stink on you maybe not [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2132">TS</a>]
00:35:35 ◼ ► in the literal sense but there's a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2135">TS</a>]
00:35:36 ◼ ► certain kind of like we talked about [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2136">TS</a>]
00:35:37 ◼ ► cool like we know who's a Paragon cool [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2137">TS</a>]
00:35:39 ◼ ► maybe Miles Davis like what is cool cool [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2139">TS</a>]
00:35:44 ◼ ► self-possessed and it is not it's not [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2144">TS</a>]
00:35:47 ◼ ► that the thing is acting like a hipster [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2147">TS</a>]
00:35:51 ◼ ► everything is is a kind of a reflection [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2151">TS</a>]
00:35:53 ◼ ► or shadow of cool but the real cool is [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2153">TS</a>]
00:35:56 ◼ ► someone who's their own person that's to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2156">TS</a>]
00:35:58 ◼ ► me that's what cool is I mean to captain [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2158">TS</a>]
00:36:02 ◼ ► there's a lot of people were really cool [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2162">TS</a>]
00:36:03 ◼ ► like but I mean like the things in that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2163">TS</a>]
00:36:04 ◼ ► sense you and I are very cool but that's [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2164">TS</a>]
00:36:08 ◼ ► right the mascara snake it's just it's [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2168">TS</a>]
00:36:11 ◼ ► just that kind of cool in fifth grade [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2171">TS</a>]
00:36:17 ◼ ► headphones when i record i just listened [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2177">TS</a>]
00:36:19 ◼ ► to vibrations but you know buddy and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2179">TS</a>]
00:36:21 ◼ ► here's the thing i'm trying to get at is [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2181">TS</a>]
00:36:23 ◼ ► that like I do in my parlance like I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2183">TS</a>]
00:36:25 ◼ ► spent so many years trying to solve the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2185">TS</a>]
00:36:27 ◼ ► wrong problem but the problem that i [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2187">TS</a>]
00:36:29 ◼ ► wanted to solve was why can't i make [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2189">TS</a>]
00:36:31 ◼ ► girls like me or like you know it starts [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2191">TS</a>]
00:36:34 ◼ ► out as simple as like why don't why [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2194">TS</a>]
00:36:36 ◼ ► aren't all girls into me like I you know [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2196">TS</a>]
00:36:38 ◼ ► I i have lots of trading cards and I'm [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2198">TS</a>]
00:36:41 ◼ ► really cool but then that becomes this [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2201">TS</a>]
00:36:43 ◼ ► more like functional like how do i get [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2203">TS</a>]
00:36:45 ◼ ► girls to like me which is like a hold of [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2205">TS</a>]
00:36:48 ◼ ► in so many ways that horrible it's an [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2208">TS</a>]
00:36:50 ◼ ► understandable question but it's not the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2210">TS</a>]
00:36:51 ◼ ► right question like the the right [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2211">TS</a>]
00:36:53 ◼ ► question which would never occur to me [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2213">TS</a>]
00:36:55 ◼ ► for many years was like how do I become [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2215">TS</a>]
00:36:57 ◼ ► a more interesting version of myself [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2217">TS</a>]
00:36:58 ◼ ► like how I actually increase my nice [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2218">TS</a>]
00:37:03 ◼ ► how do i increase increase my value i [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2223">TS</a>]
00:37:05 ◼ ► guess like but you don't say like what [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2225">TS</a>]
00:37:06 ◼ ► you really look at and make people you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2226">TS</a>]
00:37:08 ◼ ► got you've got you've got them even if [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2228">TS</a>]
00:37:10 ◼ ► you're even if you're working with a six [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2230">TS</a>]
00:37:11 ◼ ► you don't have a wingman you gonna get [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2231">TS</a>]
00:37:13 ◼ ► in there and neg you're learning your [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2233">TS</a>]
00:37:15 ◼ ► learning John megam you know I think in [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2235">TS</a>]
00:37:18 ◼ ► my case the thing that I needed to learn [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2238">TS</a>]
00:37:20 ◼ ► and the thing that I still have that I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2240">TS</a>]
00:37:22 ◼ ► that my whole life I needed to learn was [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2242">TS</a>]
00:37:25 ◼ ► leave it leave it and I just needed to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2245">TS</a>]
00:37:33 ◼ ► learn that when I was four when i was 14 [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2253">TS</a>]
00:37:35 ◼ ► when I was 40 benefit but maybe in that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2255">TS</a>]
00:37:42 ◼ ► relationship and yeah okay cupcake with [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2262">TS</a>]
00:37:44 ◼ ► a designer but what is the others [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2264">TS</a>]
00:37:46 ◼ ► institutions change if I could have just [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2266">TS</a>]
00:37:50 ◼ ► ever ever ever managed just shoot [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2270">TS</a>]
00:37:55 ◼ ► everything would have been fine i just [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2275">TS</a>]
00:37:58 ◼ ► couldn't believe i didn't have any [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2278">TS</a>]
00:38:01 ◼ ► shushing Anna I'm very wise wise a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2281">TS</a>]
00:38:04 ◼ ► partner at one point and she said [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2284">TS</a>]
00:38:07 ◼ ► something about about makeup and she [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2287">TS</a>]
00:38:10 ◼ ► said here's the thing take out take out [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2290">TS</a>]
00:38:12 ◼ ► all the makeup you want to use put it on [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2292">TS</a>]
00:38:14 ◼ ► the counter and then put half of it away [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2294">TS</a>]
00:38:16 ◼ ► and that's how much makeup you should [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2296">TS</a>]
00:38:17 ◼ ► use right and that goes for so many [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2297">TS</a>]
00:38:20 ◼ ► things in the physical world that goes [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2300">TS</a>]
00:38:21 ◼ ► for hair gel that goes for alcohol [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2301">TS</a>]
00:38:23 ◼ ► because for so many things take out all [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2303">TS</a>]
00:38:25 ◼ ► you think you want then put away half [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2305">TS</a>]
00:38:27 ◼ ► and just use that half and stick with it [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2307">TS</a>]
00:38:32 ◼ ► like in life you know like because part [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2312">TS</a>]
00:38:35 ◼ ► of it is like when you go when you have [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2315">TS</a>]
00:38:36 ◼ ► a good party lucky if you get the brown [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2316">TS</a>]
00:38:38 ◼ ► tuxedo or you can have the milk bottle [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2318">TS</a>]
00:38:40 ◼ ► full of whiskey or you can steal the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2320">TS</a>]
00:38:42 ◼ ► shoes but but you don't want to be a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2322">TS</a>]
00:38:45 ◼ ► carny right right so it is like you're [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2325">TS</a>]
00:38:48 ◼ ► right though it's a simmer down you know [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2328">TS</a>]
00:38:50 ◼ ► just slow your roll little bit and like [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2330">TS</a>]
00:38:52 ◼ ► you don't like I'm talking to me now [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2332">TS</a>]
00:38:54 ◼ ► like you don't have to tell them [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2334">TS</a>]
00:38:56 ◼ ► everything you know about the making of [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2336">TS</a>]
00:38:58 ◼ ► Tommy let's keep some of that for later [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2338">TS</a>]
00:39:01 ◼ ► you don't have to talk about everything [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2341">TS</a>]
00:39:03 ◼ ► you know about tom seaver like let it [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2343">TS</a>]
00:39:06 ◼ ► you know this let's sit on that you have [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2346">TS</a>]
00:39:08 ◼ ► yeah yeah for me I think it was well [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2348">TS</a>]
00:39:11 ◼ ► obviously I do not I do not look like an [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2351">TS</a>]
00:39:15 ◼ ► abercrombie & fitch model and so I'd [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2355">TS</a>]
00:39:18 ◼ ► better wear this brown tuxedo because [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2358">TS</a>]
00:39:21 ◼ ► that is very very good armor it's a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2361">TS</a>]
00:39:26 ◼ ► super armor against anybody ever wanting [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2366">TS</a>]
00:39:30 ◼ ► me to take off my clothes and jump in [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2370">TS</a>]
00:39:32 ◼ ► the water and i also hate being in a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2372">TS</a>]
00:39:37 ◼ ► brown tuxedo and a swimming party [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2377">TS</a>]
00:39:38 ◼ ► so I had better be drinking whiskey in [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2378">TS</a>]
00:39:42 ◼ ► copious amounts but I'm not just gonna [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2382">TS</a>]
00:39:46 ◼ ► I'm gonna drink whiskey out of a milk [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2386">TS</a>]
00:39:48 ◼ ► bottle because fuck the world and then [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2388">TS</a>]
00:39:53 ◼ ► I'm gonna steal everybody she was [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2393">TS</a>]
00:39:54 ◼ ► because i'm really in pain and put a lot [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2394">TS</a>]
00:39:58 ◼ ► of game and I and all i could think of [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2398">TS</a>]
00:40:01 ◼ ► to do is steal their shoes because I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2401">TS</a>]
00:40:03 ◼ ► can't you know I can't fight them all [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2403">TS</a>]
00:40:04 ◼ ► there's a distinction that last people [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2404">TS</a>]
00:40:08 ◼ ► making different ways and I know I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2408">TS</a>]
00:40:10 ◼ ► really differ from a lot of my my good [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2410">TS</a>]
00:40:13 ◼ ► smart friends in this one way but I've [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2413">TS</a>]
00:40:15 ◼ ► always I've come to feel that one [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2415">TS</a>]
00:40:17 ◼ ► distinction between being a geek and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2417">TS</a>]
00:40:20 ◼ ► it may have to do a topic but i think it [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2420">TS</a>]
00:40:22 ◼ ► has to do with degree and self-awareness [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2422">TS</a>]
00:40:24 ◼ ► in some ways like an eighth another [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2424">TS</a>]
00:40:26 ◼ ► that's an important distinction but in [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2426">TS</a>]
00:40:28 ◼ ► my head it's one thing to be a geek [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2428">TS</a>]
00:40:30 ◼ ► about something like your kind of a geek [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2430">TS</a>]
00:40:31 ◼ ► about LBJ right you can be a geek about [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2431">TS</a>]
00:40:34 ◼ ► Tom Seaver like you're somebody who has [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2434">TS</a>]
00:40:36 ◼ ► maybe like even like a surpassingly high [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2436">TS</a>]
00:40:42 ◼ ► knowledge especially interest about that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2442">TS</a>]
00:40:44 ◼ ► thing but you know you really want to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2444">TS</a>]
00:40:46 ◼ ► talk about it but that by itself doesn't [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2446">TS</a>]
00:40:49 ◼ ► make you a nerd i think what makes you a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2449">TS</a>]
00:40:55 ◼ ► insensitivity to how much other people [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2455">TS</a>]
00:40:57 ◼ ► care about your geeky topic and like [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2457">TS</a>]
00:41:00 ◼ ► that that's the part where you go from [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2460">TS</a>]
00:41:01 ◼ ► being you know you come up with any kind [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2461">TS</a>]
00:41:03 ◼ ► of disparaging name you want but it's [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2463">TS</a>]
00:41:04 ◼ ► one thing to be really into stamp [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2464">TS</a>]
00:41:06 ◼ ► collecting and nobody ever finds out and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2466">TS</a>]
00:41:08 ◼ ► it's another thing to like buttonhole [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2468">TS</a>]
00:41:11 ◼ ► somebody at a party and tell them about [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2471">TS</a>]
00:41:12 ◼ ► you know every kind of stamp that you've [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2472">TS</a>]
00:41:14 ◼ ► ever seen and what it's called and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2474">TS</a>]
00:41:16 ◼ ► correct them when they get something [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2476">TS</a>]
00:41:17 ◼ ► wrong and all that kind of stuff and its [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2477">TS</a>]
00:41:19 ◼ ► really i think it can be very difficult [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2479">TS</a>]
00:41:20 ◼ ► don't you see being yourself in that but [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2480">TS</a>]
00:41:23 ◼ ► that's definitely true for me and and as [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2483">TS</a>]
00:41:27 ◼ ► a fellow digger in John Roderick I you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2487">TS</a>]
00:41:29 ◼ ► might appreciate I think part of it is [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2489">TS</a>]
00:41:30 ◼ ► like when you get pushback from somebody [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2490">TS</a>]
00:41:32 ◼ ► your inclination is not to go that's a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2492">TS</a>]
00:41:34 ◼ ► good note i should i should i should [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2494">TS</a>]
00:41:36 ◼ ► leave it it's more like you dig in even [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2496">TS</a>]
00:41:38 ◼ ► further like you haven't made your case [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2498">TS</a>]
00:41:40 ◼ ► like that's what i do is so no okay well [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2500">TS</a>]
00:41:43 ◼ ► I'm sorry probably explain this well let [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2503">TS</a>]
00:41:44 ◼ ► me really explain the Tom Seaver [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2504">TS</a>]
00:41:46 ◼ ► situation to you and that's when let [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2506">TS</a>]
00:41:49 ◼ ► that's when you become that's when you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2509">TS</a>]
00:41:51 ◼ ► because you're insensitive to what else [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2511">TS</a>]
00:41:55 ◼ ► is happening in the room and now you're [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2515">TS</a>]
00:41:56 ◼ ► no longer self-possessed now you're just [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2516">TS</a>]
00:42:00 ◼ ► you know years later or maybe it was [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2520">TS</a>]
00:42:06 ◼ ► years earlier i don't remember i'm i'm [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2526">TS</a>]
00:42:09 ◼ ► i'm getting confused now but no it was [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2529">TS</a>]
00:42:17 ◼ ► wait a minute what we talked about here [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2537">TS</a>]
00:42:19 ◼ ► we're talking like ladies ladies [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2539">TS</a>]
00:42:21 ◼ ► ok I was downtown in Anchorage on a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2541">TS</a>]
00:42:28 ◼ ► Anchorage's in full flower in the spring [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2548">TS</a>]
00:42:30 ◼ ► and summer there's really no more [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2550">TS</a>]
00:42:32 ◼ ► beautiful place because they're hanging [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2552">TS</a>]
00:42:34 ◼ ► baskets of flowers everywhere it's part [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2554">TS</a>]
00:42:37 ◼ ► of Anchorage's it's part of Anchorage's [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2557">TS</a>]
00:42:41 ◼ ► identity that when spring comes everyone [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2561">TS</a>]
00:42:44 ◼ ► hangs baskets of flowers everywhere and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2564">TS</a>]
00:42:47 ◼ ► so you have just this proliferation of [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2567">TS</a>]
00:42:49 ◼ ► flowers and because the Sun is up all [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2569">TS</a>]
00:42:51 ◼ ► day like flowers just go crazy and so I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2571">TS</a>]
00:42:54 ◼ ► was downtown was walking on Fourth [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2574">TS</a>]
00:42:57 ◼ ► Avenue right by the fourth avenue [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2577">TS</a>]
00:42:59 ◼ ► theatre right by you know right in the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2579">TS</a>]
00:43:01 ◼ ► center of town and I bumped into some [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2581">TS</a>]
00:43:03 ◼ ► friends and i'm standing and talking to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2583">TS</a>]
00:43:05 ◼ ► them and a little group of people [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2585">TS</a>]
00:43:06 ◼ ► gathered there and we're all out of high [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2586">TS</a>]
00:43:08 ◼ ► school now we're in college and we feel [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2588">TS</a>]
00:43:11 ◼ ► like the young people who are the next [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2591">TS</a>]
00:43:14 ◼ ► generation of young folks and this girl [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2594">TS</a>]
00:43:21 ◼ ► that went to a different school but whom [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2601">TS</a>]
00:43:25 ◼ ► I'd met at debate competitions she went [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2605">TS</a>]
00:43:32 ◼ ► to diamond high school her name was [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2612">TS</a>]
00:43:34 ◼ ► Debbie and she was the star of the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2614">TS</a>]
00:43:40 ◼ ► and she comes along and and we were all [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2620">TS</a>]
00:43:44 ◼ ► standing there and and chatting with one [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2624">TS</a>]
00:43:47 ◼ ► another ended and she was with a friend [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2627">TS</a>]
00:43:49 ◼ ► of a friend and so that's it you know [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2629">TS</a>]
00:43:52 ◼ ► where a group of people in our I mean [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2632">TS</a>]
00:43:55 ◼ ► we're probably 20 and debbie smith and i [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2635">TS</a>]
00:43:59 ◼ ► started talking and we break off from [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2639">TS</a>]
00:44:02 ◼ ► the rest of the group and debbie smith [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2642">TS</a>]
00:44:05 ◼ ► is half she'sshe was she is a half [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2645">TS</a>]
00:44:08 ◼ ► Japanese and very very very very smart [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2648">TS</a>]
00:44:14 ◼ ► person that I will had always been [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2654">TS</a>]
00:44:16 ◼ ► impressed with her at debate meets she [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2656">TS</a>]
00:44:20 ◼ ► was like very together and i was very [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2660">TS</a>]
00:44:23 ◼ ► unimpressive at debate meets because I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2663">TS</a>]
00:44:26 ◼ ► debated kind of like I talk to you now [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2666">TS</a>]
00:44:29 ◼ ► which is to say with no preparation but [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2669">TS</a>]
00:44:33 ◼ ► I understood Robert's Rules of Order but [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2673">TS</a>]
00:44:36 ◼ ► beyond that i believe that i could [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2676">TS</a>]
00:44:37 ◼ ► debate any topic just on the you know [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2677">TS</a>]
00:44:39 ◼ ► like flip a coin and go style and Debbie [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2679">TS</a>]
00:44:44 ◼ ► was very prepared and she and I like [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2684">TS</a>]
00:44:48 ◼ ► wandered off from this group and pretty [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2688">TS</a>]
00:44:51 ◼ ► soon we had arranged to go on a date and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2691">TS</a>]
00:44:57 ◼ ► we went on a date to see the movie born [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2697">TS</a>]
00:45:01 ◼ ► on the fourth of July so whenever that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2701">TS</a>]
00:45:03 ◼ ► movie came out that is when this is [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2703">TS</a>]
00:45:04 ◼ ► happening after feels like making [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2704">TS</a>]
00:45:09 ◼ ► yeah and then she and then we had a good [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2709">TS</a>]
00:45:11 ◼ ► time on the date and we went on a second [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2711">TS</a>]
00:45:13 ◼ ► date in the entire time I'm thinking [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2713">TS</a>]
00:45:16 ◼ ► debbie smith is one of the very very [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2716">TS</a>]
00:45:20 ◼ ► popular together people and then I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2720">TS</a>]
00:45:24 ◼ ► realized that she went to diamonds so [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2724">TS</a>]
00:45:27 ◼ ► she didn't know anything about me and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2727">TS</a>]
00:45:28 ◼ ► somehow to her i seemed like one of the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2728">TS</a>]
00:45:34 ◼ ► one of the good people i seemed like one [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2734">TS</a>]
00:45:37 ◼ ► of the abercrombie & fitch people maybe [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2737">TS</a>]
00:45:40 ◼ ► or it was very confusing but i really [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2740">TS</a>]
00:45:44 ◼ ► enjoyed her i was just overthinking it [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2744">TS</a>]
00:45:47 ◼ ► you know that this is one of those [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2747">TS</a>]
00:45:49 ◼ ► moments where somebody should have just [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2749">TS</a>]
00:45:51 ◼ ► just like just be just be with debbie [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2751">TS</a>]
00:45:53 ◼ ► smith because as much as you're aware [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2753">TS</a>]
00:45:55 ◼ ► that it's a fresh start your also still [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2755">TS</a>]
00:45:57 ◼ ► kind of mentally recalibrating like [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2757">TS</a>]
00:45:59 ◼ ► don't screw this up like you screw this [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2759">TS</a>]
00:46:02 ◼ ► do not screw that you're gonna screw [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2762">TS</a>]
00:46:03 ◼ ► this up and then she and I like liked [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2763">TS</a>]
00:46:07 ◼ ► each other and we made out and we made [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2767">TS</a>]
00:46:11 ◼ ► out again and then it was wonderful and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2771">TS</a>]
00:46:15 ◼ ► there was this and this was happening in [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2775">TS</a>]
00:46:16 ◼ ► the summer so what could be better [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2776">TS</a>]
00:46:18 ◼ ► and then she invited me to a party at [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2778">TS</a>]
00:46:20 ◼ ► her house and I was like I can't wait [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2780">TS</a>]
00:46:23 ◼ ► you know of course I'll come to the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2783">TS</a>]
00:46:25 ◼ ► party and I came to the party and I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2785">TS</a>]
00:46:28 ◼ ► believe that I probably wore a bow tie [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2788">TS</a>]
00:46:30 ◼ ► because it was a party and I was a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2790">TS</a>]
00:46:35 ◼ ► person i was a person who understood [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2795">TS</a>]
00:46:36 ◼ ► that if you're invited to a party where [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2796">TS</a>]
00:46:38 ◼ ► about I at this time and I showed up and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2798">TS</a>]
00:46:42 ◼ ► all of the fashionable people were there [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2802">TS</a>]
00:46:45 ◼ ► and when I arrived it was clear that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2805">TS</a>]
00:46:49 ◼ ► none of them realized that I knew Debbie [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2809">TS</a>]
00:46:52 ◼ ► Smith there was no reason I would have [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2812">TS</a>]
00:46:55 ◼ ► known her and they and so honestly I got [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2815">TS</a>]
00:46:59 ◼ ► out of my car and I bumped into a guy [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2819">TS</a>]
00:47:01 ◼ ► I'd known for years and he had a look on [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2821">TS</a>]
00:47:03 ◼ ► his face and then said just get bully [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2823">TS</a>]
00:47:08 ◼ ► blurted out like what are you doing here [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2828">TS</a>]
00:47:12 ◼ ► like how did you get in here and I was [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2832">TS</a>]
00:47:17 ◼ ► like uh and and I'm thinking to myself [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2837">TS</a>]
00:47:20 ◼ ► I'm Debbie's I'm Debbie's boyfriend or [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2840">TS</a>]
00:47:24 ◼ ► like close to it and so I had this [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2844">TS</a>]
00:47:29 ◼ ► strange this strange feeling of like I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2849">TS</a>]
00:47:32 ◼ ► belong here more than all of these other [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2852">TS</a>]
00:47:34 ◼ ► people but I but at the same time I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2854">TS</a>]
00:47:36 ◼ ► don't and she was really glad to see me [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2856">TS</a>]
00:47:38 ◼ ► and came over and I'm standing there and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2858">TS</a>]
00:47:42 ◼ ► everyone is staring at me like why is he [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2862">TS</a>]
00:47:43 ◼ ► here why is she being affectionate to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2863">TS</a>]
00:47:45 ◼ ► him all of this is wrong and so I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2865">TS</a>]
00:47:49 ◼ ► started drinking now now because it was [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2869">TS</a>]
00:47:54 ◼ ► all I could it was all I understood to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2874">TS</a>]
00:47:56 ◼ ► do even though she was being cool with [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2876">TS</a>]
00:47:59 ◼ ► she was great i was really uncomfortable [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2879">TS</a>]
00:48:02 ◼ ► standing there because I knew all of her [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2882">TS</a>]
00:48:05 ◼ ► friends and I knew them to be people who [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2885">TS</a>]
00:48:07 ◼ ► understood that i did not belong there [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2887">TS</a>]
00:48:10 ◼ ► and they were like trying to communicate [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2890">TS</a>]
00:48:14 ◼ ► to her like what does he do what he why [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2894">TS</a>]
00:48:16 ◼ ► are you with him stop and I mean I'm [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2896">TS</a>]
00:48:18 ◼ ► seeing all this I'm not imagining it and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2898">TS</a>]
00:48:20 ◼ ► she's like what are you talking about [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2900">TS</a>]
00:48:21 ◼ ► he's great like we you know we went to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2901">TS</a>]
00:48:23 ◼ ► the you know he knows all about LBJ and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2903">TS</a>]
00:48:27 ◼ ► I I knew that she was good and that that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2907">TS</a>]
00:48:33 ◼ ► the connection that we had could have [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2913">TS</a>]
00:48:34 ◼ ► survived this because we she was growing [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2914">TS</a>]
00:48:36 ◼ ► out of that crowd anyway she was headed [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2916">TS</a>]
00:48:39 ◼ ► on off on her own path we were all [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2919">TS</a>]
00:48:41 ◼ ► headed on our own path this was all old [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2921">TS</a>]
00:48:44 ◼ ► stuff that we were capable of shedding [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2924">TS</a>]
00:48:48 ◼ ► but I started to get drunk because I was [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2928">TS</a>]
00:48:51 ◼ ► terrified and was already at a point [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2931">TS</a>]
00:48:54 ◼ ► when you're we see said from the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2934">TS</a>]
00:48:56 ◼ ► beginning you're cognizant that there [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2936">TS</a>]
00:48:57 ◼ ► wasn't never going to be a one beer [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2937">TS</a>]
00:49:00 ◼ ► oh no and in a situation like this where [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2940">TS</a>]
00:49:02 ◼ ► it was just like uh you know i'm going [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2942">TS</a>]
00:49:04 ◼ ► to show everybody and I got drunk and at [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2944">TS</a>]
00:49:09 ◼ ► a certain point you know drunk I was [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2949">TS</a>]
00:49:11 ◼ ► like I confronted Debbie and said did [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2951">TS</a>]
00:49:15 ◼ ► you just invite me here to to to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2955">TS</a>]
00:49:20 ◼ ► embarrass me she was like what are you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2960">TS</a>]
00:49:22 ◼ ► talking about she had no idea my history [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2962">TS</a>]
00:49:26 ◼ ► with all these people and because she [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2966">TS</a>]
00:49:30 ◼ ► effortlessly she didn't understand she [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2970">TS</a>]
00:49:34 ◼ ► didn't see them as as exclusive she [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2974">TS</a>]
00:49:40 ◼ ► didn't see them as people who would shun [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2980">TS</a>]
00:49:42 ◼ ► somebody for being fat or for being a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2982">TS</a>]
00:49:49 ◼ ► nerd or for stealing their shoes you're [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2989">TS</a>]
00:49:50 ◼ ► wearing about time for wearing about [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2990">TS</a>]
00:49:52 ◼ ► time like she thought that the boat I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2992">TS</a>]
00:49:54 ◼ ► was charming she didn't understand that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2994">TS</a>]
00:49:57 ◼ ► they saw it as a further example of how [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/2997">TS</a>]
00:50:00 ◼ ► i did not understand how to fit in and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3000">TS</a>]
00:50:02 ◼ ► was never going to and and that the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3002">TS</a>]
00:50:06 ◼ ► whole thing just the whole thing just [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3006">TS</a>]
00:50:10 ◼ ► and you know and Debbie wanted she [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3010">TS</a>]
00:50:12 ◼ ► wanted us to go to get it get away from [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3012">TS</a>]
00:50:14 ◼ ► those people let's go upstairs and let's [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3014">TS</a>]
00:50:15 ◼ ► just and I was and I had I had so much [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3015">TS</a>]
00:50:19 ◼ ► baggage that I was the you know I was [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3019">TS</a>]
00:50:23 ◼ ► the one that that turned it into a a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3023">TS</a>]
00:50:26 ◼ ► turned it into a scene between us about [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3026">TS</a>]
00:50:31 ◼ ► how I was never gonna you know I was [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3031">TS</a>]
00:50:35 ◼ ► never gonna be somebody that she would [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3035">TS</a>]
00:50:38 ◼ ► like and she was like I'm not asking you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3038">TS</a>]
00:50:40 ◼ ► to be anything and it was it was just [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3040">TS</a>]
00:50:44 ◼ ► all this because i saw that stupid [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3044">TS</a>]
00:50:45 ◼ ► bicycle under an overpass today I I'm [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3045">TS</a>]
00:50:49 ◼ ► now I'm reliving 1988 at the last year I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3049">TS</a>]
00:50:52 ◼ ► possible after I would ever want to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3052">TS</a>]
00:50:54 ◼ ► relive I just so much stupid shit nation [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3054">TS</a>]
00:50:59 ◼ ► let's see if i get erased three years if [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3059">TS</a>]
00:51:04 ◼ ► no I think you can raise three years out [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3064">TS</a>]
00:51:06 ◼ ► of your life ok any three years ago man [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3066">TS</a>]
00:51:09 ◼ ► that's going on um what's yeah well I'm [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3069">TS</a>]
00:51:12 ◼ ► not always a word this I mean a lot of [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3072">TS</a>]
00:51:15 ◼ ► terrible decisions in 1988 I've I tried [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3075">TS</a>]
00:51:19 ◼ ► to level up as a grownup in a lot of [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3079">TS</a>]
00:51:21 ◼ ► ways that year and failed colossally in [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3081">TS</a>]
00:51:23 ◼ ► ways that i didn't actually learn much [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3083">TS</a>]
00:51:25 ◼ ► from people who want to learn from your [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3085">TS</a>]
00:51:26 ◼ ► mistakes i think that's a lot of [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3086">TS</a>]
00:51:27 ◼ ► geography I was just down just really [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3087">TS</a>]
00:51:30 ◼ ► okay you pick one up another one uh [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3090">TS</a>]
00:51:33 ◼ ► let's see 87 write a seven any paid [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3093">TS</a>]
00:51:40 ◼ ► either then so I can't think of a better [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3100">TS</a>]
00:51:44 ◼ ► year to erase the 1988 if I could have a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3104">TS</a>]
00:51:48 ◼ ► uh-huh 1988 would be a really yeah [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3108">TS</a>]
00:51:52 ◼ ► really good year to do over and you know [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3112">TS</a>]
00:52:01 ◼ ► I kind of feel like you know maybe 2008 [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3121">TS</a>]
00:52:10 ◼ ► yeah it was just like a year that I i [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3130">TS</a>]
00:52:14 ◼ ► feel like i could have done I could have [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3134">TS</a>]
00:52:17 ◼ ► done so much more in 2008 yeah I'm gonna [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3137">TS</a>]
00:52:23 ◼ ► and I think I'm gonna go with 1980 and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3143">TS</a>]
00:52:26 ◼ ► maybe 2009 where I don't erase it but i [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3146">TS</a>]
00:52:29 ◼ ► wish i could get into over on this [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3149">TS</a>]
00:52:31 ◼ ► yeah maybe 2,000 maybe what I'm thinking [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3151">TS</a>]
00:52:33 ◼ ► 2008 it's actually 2009 is what I'm [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3153">TS</a>]
00:52:36 ◼ ► but you know I feel like it i feel like [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3156">TS</a>]
00:52:38 ◼ ► we should I feel like we should agree on [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3158">TS</a>]
00:52:40 ◼ ► three years later strength in numbers so [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3160">TS</a>]
00:52:43 ◼ ► 88 2009 and then we have to pick one [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3163">TS</a>]
00:52:48 ◼ ► why 1980 1982 was more uh I was more [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3168">TS</a>]
00:52:52 ◼ ► victim of circumstance in 1980 but [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3172">TS</a>]
00:52:55 ◼ ► that's the 79 is when my mom remarried [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3175">TS</a>]
00:52:57 ◼ ► nothing gets me my mom is making the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3177">TS</a>]
00:52:59 ◼ ► best decision she could she marry marry [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3179">TS</a>]
00:53:01 ◼ ► this guy who turned out to be awful and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3181">TS</a>]
00:53:03 ◼ ► we moved to Florida from Ohio so you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3183">TS</a>]
00:53:05 ◼ ► know I went to military school a lot of [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3185">TS</a>]
00:53:08 ◼ ► pop music was cocaine e a lot of very [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3188">TS</a>]
00:53:11 ◼ ► memorable get your home notes and stuff [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3191">TS</a>]
00:53:13 ◼ ► but 1984 me was was a very tough I mean [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3193">TS</a>]
00:53:17 ◼ ► it was it was the year without a clutch [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3197">TS</a>]
00:53:20 ◼ ► I mean it just felt like all the gears [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3200">TS</a>]
00:53:22 ◼ ► are grinding so hard work if every if [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3202">TS</a>]
00:53:24 ◼ ► everything in my life had been perfect [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3204">TS</a>]
00:53:26 ◼ ► you know I and like I was if everything [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3206">TS</a>]
00:53:30 ◼ ► had supported the kind of person i [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3210">TS</a>]
00:53:31 ◼ ► needed to be it still would've been a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3211">TS</a>]
00:53:33 ◼ ► hard year because i was 13 but given [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3213">TS</a>]
00:53:35 ◼ ► what I was up against it's the year I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3215">TS</a>]
00:53:37 ◼ ► kind of gave up on life in a lot of ways [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3217">TS</a>]
00:53:39 ◼ ► in a way that would dog me definitely [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3219">TS</a>]
00:53:41 ◼ ► through high school that I really feel [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3221">TS</a>]
00:53:43 ◼ ► like I didn't I never completely came [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3223">TS</a>]
00:53:45 ◼ ► out of it but I didn't really come out [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3225">TS</a>]
00:53:47 ◼ ► of it really until like I went to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3227">TS</a>]
00:53:48 ◼ ► college was kind of forced to like [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3228">TS</a>]
00:53:50 ◼ ► reboot and I did have that fresh [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3230">TS</a>]
00:53:52 ◼ ► opportunity to to be like you know it [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3232">TS</a>]
00:53:55 ◼ ► helps to get help so I went to a school [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3235">TS</a>]
00:53:58 ◼ ► we're actually I was not a weirdo I was [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3238">TS</a>]
00:54:00 ◼ ► a pretty you straight normal kid but [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3240">TS</a>]
00:54:06 ◼ ► I you know I know if we said if you said [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3246">TS</a>]
00:54:08 ◼ ► the 80 81 school year nineteen eighty [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3248">TS</a>]
00:54:12 ◼ ► starting in September and i have no [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3252">TS</a>]
00:54:14 ◼ ► affection or attachment to that at all [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3254">TS</a>]
00:54:16 ◼ ► well I i could join 481 let's do 81 [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3256">TS</a>]
00:54:19 ◼ ► let's do September in September 8081 [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3259">TS</a>]
00:54:23 ◼ ► over and I'm done with you a hundred [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3263">TS</a>]
00:54:28 ◼ ► yeah and seventh grade was no oh good [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3268">TS</a>]
00:54:44 ◼ ► I you know and all this it feels like [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3284">TS</a>]
00:54:46 ◼ ► when I when I talk about a do-over mi [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3286">TS</a>]
00:54:50 ◼ ► I'm very curious to know like whether [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3290">TS</a>]
00:54:52 ◼ ► that do over would be if if we're going [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3292">TS</a>]
00:54:55 ◼ ► to allow if we're going to appeal to the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3295">TS</a>]
00:54:57 ◼ ► to the parole board and say do-over on [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3297">TS</a>]
00:55:02 ◼ ► are they going to say ok all its just [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3302">TS</a>]
00:55:05 ◼ ► alternate universe John and Merlin your [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3305">TS</a>]
00:55:08 ◼ ► view there it's still it's still your [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3308">TS</a>]
00:55:10 ◼ ► your dumb seventh-grade brain Ryan just [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3310">TS</a>]
00:55:13 ◼ ► you just get it you know we're just [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3313">TS</a>]
00:55:14 ◼ ► going to set you in motion like 30 [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3314">TS</a>]
00:55:16 ◼ ► seconds later so it's a completely [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3316">TS</a>]
00:55:19 ◼ ► different version reason but yeah give [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3319">TS</a>]
00:55:22 ◼ ► me a crack about this on Twitter the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3322">TS</a>]
00:55:23 ◼ ► other day about wishing you could go [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3323">TS</a>]
00:55:25 ◼ ► back and like you know with all the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3325">TS</a>]
00:55:27 ◼ ► stuff you know now after yeah right i [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3327">TS</a>]
00:55:29 ◼ ► mean that's the thing like if I could go [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3329">TS</a>]
00:55:31 ◼ ► back and be my own concierge and you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3331">TS</a>]
00:55:35 ◼ ► know and every week have a sit-down with [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3335">TS</a>]
00:55:37 ◼ ► myself and say listen here and I think [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3337">TS</a>]
00:55:39 ◼ ► we're gonna I don't think we can allow [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3339">TS</a>]
00:55:40 ◼ ► that I think it's a reset of the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3340">TS</a>]
00:55:41 ◼ ► timeline i think maybe result of the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3341">TS</a>]
00:55:44 ◼ ► time later can you actually go back [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3344">TS</a>]
00:55:45 ◼ ► inhabit your earlier self i don't think [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3345">TS</a>]
00:55:47 ◼ ► so i well I think well here's the thing [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3347">TS</a>]
00:55:49 ◼ ► i think you have to go back with the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3349">TS</a>]
00:55:51 ◼ ► same knowledge and stuff that you had at [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3351">TS</a>]
00:55:52 ◼ ► the time I think maybe you get to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3352">TS</a>]
00:55:55 ◼ ► inhabit like an african-american janitor [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3355">TS</a>]
00:55:58 ◼ ► who gets to give you wisdom sometimes [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3358">TS</a>]
00:56:01 ◼ ► oh you're saying that you're saying that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3361">TS</a>]
00:56:02 ◼ ► that there's a morgan freeman character [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3362">TS</a>]
00:56:05 ◼ ► yes but only putting this message on [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3365">TS</a>]
00:56:06 ◼ ► what if what if in the timeline that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3366">TS</a>]
00:56:09 ◼ ► actually that we know of that already [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3369">TS</a>]
00:56:11 ◼ ► what if you already had gone back there [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3371">TS</a>]
00:56:13 ◼ ► and you just didn't listen to morgan [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3373">TS</a>]
00:56:14 ◼ ► freeman because you thought you had it [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3374">TS</a>]
00:56:17 ◼ ► well here's the problem i have known you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3377">TS</a>]
00:56:18 ◼ ► would you know if your morgan freeman i [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3378">TS</a>]
00:56:19 ◼ ► know for a fact that no Morgan Freeman [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3379">TS</a>]
00:56:22 ◼ ► ever deigned to give me advice I was [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3382">TS</a>]
00:56:26 ◼ ► starved for adult advice and and every [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3386">TS</a>]
00:56:29 ◼ ► single like that God maybe maybe should [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3389">TS</a>]
00:56:32 ◼ ► leave the boat home every single God [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3392">TS</a>]
00:56:34 ◼ ► character in my story was busy talking [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3394">TS</a>]
00:56:37 ◼ ► to another kid because I I'm you know [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3397">TS</a>]
00:56:41 ◼ ► I'm walking by in a brown tuxedo and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3401">TS</a>]
00:56:43 ◼ ► they are you know and they're telling [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3403">TS</a>]
00:56:44 ◼ ► somebody to improve their golf swing in [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3404">TS</a>]
00:56:50 ◼ ► no one ever stop me you know the ND and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3410">TS</a>]
00:56:53 ◼ ► the teachers that I had that we're good [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3413">TS</a>]
00:56:55 ◼ ► they didn't understand I mean a lot of [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3415">TS</a>]
00:56:58 ◼ ► them were younger teachers who who felt [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3418">TS</a>]
00:57:04 ◼ ► like the way they needed to approach me [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3424">TS</a>]
00:57:07 ◼ ► and and deal with me was to how do I put [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3427">TS</a>]
00:57:14 ◼ ► like I was so precocious that that that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3434">TS</a>]
00:57:18 ◼ ► the adult response was often like you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3438">TS</a>]
00:57:21 ◼ ► think you're pretty cool don't you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3441">TS</a>]
00:57:22 ◼ ► oh you like you're like they're like a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3442">TS</a>]
00:57:24 ◼ ► little dog and you're like a rat you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3444">TS</a>]
00:57:27 ◼ ► yeah yeah and-and-and their best you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3447">TS</a>]
00:57:30 ◼ ► know they had the best intentions which [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3450">TS</a>]
00:57:32 ◼ ► was to say things aren't what you think [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3452">TS</a>]
00:57:34 ◼ ► they are I think you know the world [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3454">TS</a>]
00:57:37 ◼ ► isn't like you think it is but the way [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3457">TS</a>]
00:57:39 ◼ ► that they approached me was always that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3459">TS</a>]
00:57:41 ◼ ► always in that tone of like hey mr. cool [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3461">TS</a>]
00:57:46 ◼ ► why don't you sit down and listen once [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3466">TS</a>]
00:57:48 ◼ ► in awhile and stop being you know like [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3468">TS</a>]
00:57:50 ◼ ► it was very they were trying to be teams [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3470">TS</a>]
00:57:55 ◼ ► you know they were trying to communicate [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3475">TS</a>]
00:57:58 ◼ ► with me i remember i remember at this is [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3478">TS</a>]
00:58:01 ◼ ► gonna sound terrible but I had a high [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3481">TS</a>]
00:58:04 ◼ ► school teacher who pulled me aside I may [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3484">TS</a>]
00:58:08 ◼ ► have told you about this high school [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3488">TS</a>]
00:58:09 ◼ ► teacher who pulled me aside and said i [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3489">TS</a>]
00:58:12 ◼ ► was in the teachers lounge the other day [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3492">TS</a>]
00:58:13 ◼ ► we were talking about you and I was like [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3493">TS</a>]
00:58:16 ◼ ► really what would say what and he said [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3496">TS</a>]
00:58:21 ◼ ► well you know I was talking to the shop [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3501">TS</a>]
00:58:24 ◼ ► teacher about you and we both agreed [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3504">TS</a>]
00:58:25 ◼ ► that you that you probably get a lot of [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3505">TS</a>]
00:58:29 ◼ ► am i right whoa whoa and I was a virgin [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3509">TS</a>]
00:58:42 ◼ ► well I mean you know i'm not one to talk [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3522">TS</a>]
00:58:46 ◼ ► out of school and he said that's what I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3526">TS</a>]
00:58:52 ◼ ► am i right am i right that's so weird [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3532">TS</a>]
00:58:53 ◼ ► and I was like to totally I mean you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3533">TS</a>]
00:58:57 ◼ ► yes and also haha and also who and he [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3537">TS</a>]
00:59:04 ◼ ► a connection with me but he had read my [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3544">TS</a>]
00:59:09 ◼ ► blog stir and this at this was true of i [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3549">TS</a>]
00:59:13 ◼ ► think a lot of people at my school had [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3553">TS</a>]
00:59:14 ◼ ► read my blaster and my confidence in the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3554">TS</a>]
00:59:16 ◼ ► fact that that uh you know that i did [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3556">TS</a>]
00:59:19 ◼ ► have a lot of friends that you know that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3559">TS</a>]
00:59:23 ◼ ► I was a kid that teachers were talking [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3563">TS</a>]
00:59:27 ◼ ► he had read all that incorrectly which [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3567">TS</a>]
00:59:29 ◼ ► is to say he read it as I was projecting [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3569">TS</a>]
00:59:32 ◼ ► it rather than seeing through it and so [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3572">TS</a>]
00:59:35 ◼ ► he will you know he wanted to be my pal [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3575">TS</a>]
00:59:40 ◼ ► and yet in that moment like i couldn't [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3580">TS</a>]
00:59:46 ◼ ► have felt more estranged from him [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3586">TS</a>]
00:59:49 ◼ ► because now I'm are now I am conscious [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3589">TS</a>]
00:59:52 ◼ ► of I I'm conscious of adults seeing me [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3592">TS</a>]
01:00:00 ◼ ► mhm and I was desperate at that time for [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3600">TS</a>]
01:00:03 ◼ ► somebody to put their arm around my [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3603">TS</a>]
01:00:04 ◼ ► shoulder and say your virgin right cool [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3604">TS</a>]
01:00:08 ◼ ► so she just Shh like just cool it just [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3608">TS</a>]
01:00:13 ◼ ► it's fine it's good to be a version [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3613">TS</a>]
01:00:17 ◼ ► still and you can do that and just be [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3617">TS</a>]
01:00:20 ◼ ► fine and not and it's not that I walked [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3620">TS</a>]
01:00:22 ◼ ► around school haha claiming that i [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3622">TS</a>]
01:00:25 ◼ ► wasn't right it was joint that I had you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3625">TS</a>]
01:00:28 ◼ ► know I was my dad introduced me to this [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3628">TS</a>]
01:00:31 ◼ ► concept when I was really young big man [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3631">TS</a>]
01:00:33 ◼ ► on campus and my dad was like are you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3633">TS</a>]
01:00:34 ◼ ► big man on campus bmoc moc and I was [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3634">TS</a>]
01:00:38 ◼ ► like I don't know what does that even [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3638">TS</a>]
01:00:39 ◼ ► mean and he was like big man on campus [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3639">TS</a>]
01:00:40 ◼ ► you know big man you're the big guy [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3640">TS</a>]
01:00:42 ◼ ► you're the guy on campus the big guy the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3642">TS</a>]
01:00:44 ◼ ► one but there you know BMOC and i was [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3644">TS</a>]
01:00:47 ◼ ► like i guess i'll be i guess is that the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3647">TS</a>]
01:00:51 ◼ ► expectation I can you know like the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3651">TS</a>]
01:00:53 ◼ ► expectation was that ipf I guess that I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3653">TS</a>]
01:00:57 ◼ ► be the BMOC and so I was but anyway so [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3657">TS</a>]
01:01:01 ◼ ► that relationship and I had that kind of [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3661">TS</a>]
01:01:04 ◼ ► relationship with several teachers who [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3664">TS</a>]
01:01:06 ◼ ► were like who recognized that I was [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3666">TS</a>]
01:01:08 ◼ ► flailing but what they saw was what I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3668">TS</a>]
01:01:14 ◼ ► was projecting and not what I was and no [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3674">TS</a>]
01:01:17 ◼ ► there was never that there was never [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3677">TS</a>]
01:01:19 ◼ ► that character that that came into the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3679">TS</a>]
01:01:24 ◼ ► script that was like hey i see what you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3684">TS</a>]
01:01:26 ◼ ► really are and it and and it's fine [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3686">TS</a>]
01:01:29 ◼ ► because you know that that was one of [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3689">TS</a>]
01:01:32 ◼ ► the ways of which one of the primary [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3692">TS</a>]
01:01:35 ◼ ► reasons I didn't trust adults they [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3695">TS</a>]
01:01:38 ◼ ► didn't seem to be any smarter than kids [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3698">TS</a>]
01:01:41 ◼ ► I you're making me feel like I'm [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3701">TS</a>]
01:01:44 ◼ ► realizing something here something [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3704">TS</a>]
01:01:46 ◼ ► something i'm really really really [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3706">TS</a>]
01:01:47 ◼ ► starting to get with my kid that I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3707">TS</a>]
01:01:49 ◼ ► suspect goes to what you're talking [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3709">TS</a>]
01:01:51 ◼ ► about i think it was stuff I've thought [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3711">TS</a>]
01:01:53 ◼ ► about in the past kids of all kinds you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3713">TS</a>]
01:01:57 ◼ ► know young younger than adult age people [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3717">TS</a>]
01:01:59 ◼ ► if there's one thing most all of them [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3719">TS</a>]
01:02:02 ◼ ► from a very very fairly early age it's [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3722">TS</a>]
01:02:04 ◼ ► that they're very resistant to a frontal [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3724">TS</a>]
01:02:06 ◼ ► attack on you know what i mean so going [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3726">TS</a>]
01:02:09 ◼ ► going at somebody had to have the trying [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3729">TS</a>]
01:02:11 ◼ ► to confront kit at one extreme end [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3731">TS</a>]
01:02:13 ◼ ► confronting a can on why they're mostly [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3733">TS</a>]
01:02:15 ◼ ► going to say no i didn't i didn't do [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3735">TS</a>]
01:02:16 ◼ ► that right or in this case you know in [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3736">TS</a>]
01:02:19 ◼ ► for me like stuff like I actually will [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3739">TS</a>]
01:02:21 ◼ ► sometimes like I'm trying to turbo to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3741">TS</a>]
01:02:24 ◼ ► the solution way too early so I'll i was [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3744">TS</a>]
01:02:28 ◼ ► drinking try to encourage my child to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3748">TS</a>]
01:02:30 ◼ ► talk about how she feels about things [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3750">TS</a>]
01:02:32 ◼ ► that's the last thing in the world that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3752">TS</a>]
01:02:34 ◼ ► she wants to do and in your case what [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3754">TS</a>]
01:02:36 ◼ ► you're describing here is like you know [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3756">TS</a>]
01:02:38 ◼ ► they they have this like first question [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3758">TS</a>]
01:02:41 ◼ ► that they're gonna ask you like whether [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3761">TS</a>]
01:02:42 ◼ ► that's what you're getting any pussy but [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3762">TS</a>]
01:02:48 ◼ ► commanded it the it's too on-the-nose [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3768">TS</a>]
01:02:50 ◼ ► it's to it really is the the reaction [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3770">TS</a>]
01:02:53 ◼ ► gift for this would be some guy walking [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3773">TS</a>]
01:02:55 ◼ ► and taking off his jacket with the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3775">TS</a>]
01:02:57 ◼ ► patches on the elbows and turn in the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3777">TS</a>]
01:02:59 ◼ ► seat around backwards so you can have a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3779">TS</a>]
01:03:00 ◼ ► rap session you see that coming a mile [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3780">TS</a>]
01:03:02 ◼ ► off when you're a kid and I think your [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3782">TS</a>]
01:03:04 ◼ ► defenses really pop up when that happens [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3784">TS</a>]
01:03:06 ◼ ► when there is a question that you really [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3786">TS</a>]
01:03:08 ◼ ► want to be asked but it's it's not the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3788">TS</a>]
01:03:10 ◼ ► question and that they're asking did you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3790">TS</a>]
01:03:12 ◼ ► know what I mean yeah the the thing that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3792">TS</a>]
01:03:17 ◼ ► I heard the most from the from the two [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3797">TS</a>]
01:03:23 ◼ ► teachers that I respected the most was [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3803">TS</a>]
01:03:27 ◼ ► and they both said it to me over and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3807">TS</a>]
01:03:32 ◼ ► over and they were friends with each [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3812">TS</a>]
01:03:33 ◼ ► other and they were you know guys in [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3813">TS</a>]
01:03:37 ◼ ► their thirties who were well read they [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3817">TS</a>]
01:03:41 ◼ ► were the English teachers and so forth [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3821">TS</a>]
01:03:44 ◼ ► the thing i heard the most from them was [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3824">TS</a>]
01:03:45 ◼ ► Roderick you're such an asshole and I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3825">TS</a>]
01:03:52 ◼ ► felt a lot of pride in the fact that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3832">TS</a>]
01:03:58 ◼ ► these two teachers basically would talk [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3838">TS</a>]
01:04:03 ◼ ► to me that way like a like sort of [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3843">TS</a>]
01:04:04 ◼ ► appear you're such an asshole and they [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3844">TS</a>]
01:04:09 ◼ ► meant it to be kind of encouraging in [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3849">TS</a>]
01:04:16 ◼ ► of like you're you're growing up now [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3856">TS</a>]
01:04:19 ◼ ► you're not a brat you're an asshole but [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3859">TS</a>]
01:04:24 ◼ ► what it ultimately was was you know it [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3864">TS</a>]
01:04:28 ◼ ► confirmed in me all these things that I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3868">TS</a>]
01:04:36 ◼ ► I didn't want to be an asshole I wasn't [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3876">TS</a>]
01:04:40 ◼ ► even trying to be an asshole i was [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3880">TS</a>]
01:04:41 ◼ ► trying to I was trying to be funny or I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3881">TS</a>]
01:04:44 ◼ ► was trying to be smart or I was trying [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3884">TS</a>]
01:04:46 ◼ ► to be you know is trying to be cool and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3886">TS</a>]
01:04:51 ◼ ► asshole was I don't think that's on [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3891">TS</a>]
01:04:55 ◼ ► anybody's list of of ambitions and what [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3895">TS</a>]
01:05:00 ◼ ► in what I what I what I wish that either [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3900">TS</a>]
01:05:03 ◼ ► one of those guys had done was to say [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3903">TS</a>]
01:05:07 ◼ ► you know the back to say hey look this [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3907">TS</a>]
01:05:12 ◼ ► game we're playing this thing that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3912">TS</a>]
01:05:14 ◼ ► you're in this school this these people [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3914">TS</a>]
01:05:19 ◼ ► like this is small beer life is actually [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3919">TS</a>]
01:05:27 ◼ ► right right right there is a place for [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3927">TS</a>]
01:05:29 ◼ ► you in the world and if if anybody has [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3929">TS</a>]
01:05:34 ◼ ► ever said that like there's no place for [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3934">TS</a>]
01:05:38 ◼ ► you here clearly but there is a place [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3938">TS</a>]
01:05:40 ◼ ► for you in the world I would have you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3940">TS</a>]
01:05:45 ◼ ► know i would have borne everything with [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3945">TS</a>]
01:05:47 ◼ ► so much more calm over and the panic was [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3947">TS</a>]
01:05:53 ◼ ► just this feeling of like there's no [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3953">TS</a>]
01:05:55 ◼ ► there's no place for me here and I don't [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3955">TS</a>]
01:05:59 ◼ ► see any place for me in my parents world [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3959">TS</a>]
01:06:02 ◼ ► I don't see any place for me in the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3962">TS</a>]
01:06:04 ◼ ► world of the newspaper except you know [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3964">TS</a>]
01:06:12 ◼ ► except such Carlson everyone so i'll [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3972">TS</a>]
01:06:15 ◼ ► write a column for a the Anchorage Daily [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3975">TS</a>]
01:06:17 ◼ ► News and a and I feel like I can I could [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3977">TS</a>]
01:06:22 ◼ ► I could see myself in in his column [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3982">TS</a>]
01:06:24 ◼ ► every once in a while it's like there's [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3984">TS</a>]
01:06:30 ◼ ► yeah thats i'm probably put that was [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3990">TS</a>]
01:06:33 ◼ ► what i was trying to get that was like [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3993">TS</a>]
01:06:35 ◼ ► when you go out somebody and you're [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3995">TS</a>]
01:06:37 ◼ ► gonna be helpful right you go in you're [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3997">TS</a>]
01:06:38 ◼ ► gonna be helpful you're gonna come in [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/3998">TS</a>]
01:06:40 ◼ ► and you're gonna like you know same [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4000">TS</a>]
01:06:41 ◼ ► thing that needs to be said and shake [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4001">TS</a>]
01:06:43 ◼ ► somebody up and like the problem is that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4003">TS</a>]
01:06:45 ◼ ► like what what they don't take fully [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4005">TS</a>]
01:06:48 ◼ ► into account is that you are much more [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4008">TS</a>]
01:06:50 ◼ ► maybe i'm being dismissive but I i think [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4010">TS</a>]
01:06:53 ◼ ► you you kids are so much more vulnerable [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4013">TS</a>]
01:06:56 ◼ ► and uh and then they're so vulnerable [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4016">TS</a>]
01:06:59 ◼ ► and they know that they're vulnerable [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4019">TS</a>]
01:07:01 ◼ ► and the very last thing in there were [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4021">TS</a>]
01:07:02 ◼ ► the world that they're gonna do is gonna [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4022">TS</a>]
01:07:04 ◼ ► be breakdown whatever shoddy defenses [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4024">TS</a>]
01:07:08 ◼ ► ok and so you kind of you I mean I and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4028">TS</a>]
01:07:11 ◼ ► now that sounds like an after school [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4031">TS</a>]
01:07:12 ◼ ► special but you kind of need to not it's [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4032">TS</a>]
01:07:15 ◼ ► like almost like treat the kids like a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4035">TS</a>]
01:07:17 ◼ ► I just don't go up and flip it over and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4037">TS</a>]
01:07:18 ◼ ► start rubbing his tummy you gotta go [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4038">TS</a>]
01:07:20 ◼ ► real slow and you've got to just spend [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4040">TS</a>]
01:07:22 ◼ ► some time with that person until that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4042">TS</a>]
01:07:24 ◼ ► you have credibility with them where you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4044">TS</a>]
01:07:26 ◼ ► know maybe you should learn a little bit [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4046">TS</a>]
01:07:28 ◼ ► more about who they are as a person [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4048">TS</a>]
01:07:29 ◼ ► before you come dive bombing in with a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4049">TS</a>]
01:07:31 ◼ ► solution because that's just going to be [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4051">TS</a>]
01:07:32 ◼ ► more off-putting you know and then on [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4052">TS</a>]
01:07:35 ◼ ► top of all kinds of an asshole and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4055">TS</a>]
01:07:36 ◼ ► that's what you call somebody that you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4056">TS</a>]
01:07:37 ◼ ► want to reform its what you want to call [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4057">TS</a>]
01:07:41 ◼ ► well I'm that exact that you hit the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4061">TS</a>]
01:07:43 ◼ ► nail on that is what they that is what [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4063">TS</a>]
01:07:45 ◼ ► they were communicating to me like we [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4065">TS</a>]
01:07:49 ◼ ► you're gonna you're gonna be and when it [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4069">TS</a>]
01:07:51 ◼ ► and and it was like any efforts will be [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4071">TS</a>]
01:07:53 ◼ ► wasted but it was admiring you know this [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4073">TS</a>]
01:07:56 ◼ ► was the crazy thing it was admiring like [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4076">TS</a>]
01:07:58 ◼ ► you are going to you know like what they [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4078">TS</a>]
01:07:59 ◼ ► were saying was you are already on a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4079">TS</a>]
01:08:03 ◼ ► trajectory far away from here but and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4083">TS</a>]
01:08:08 ◼ ► and so all they could say was asshole as [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4088">TS</a>]
01:08:10 ◼ ► they were kicking me out the door for um [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4090">TS</a>]
01:08:13 ◼ ► and there was a 50-50 there was a fifty [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4093">TS</a>]
01:08:16 ◼ ► percent chance that that trajectory was [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4096">TS</a>]
01:08:18 ◼ ► going to go right through juvenile hall [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4098">TS</a>]
01:08:19 ◼ ► right into jail and there and you know [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4099">TS</a>]
01:08:25 ◼ ► and I don't think they wanted to be [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4105">TS</a>]
01:08:26 ◼ ► wrong and say you've got a bright future [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4106">TS</a>]
01:08:31 ◼ ► well it's kinda almost like their way of [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4111">TS</a>]
01:08:32 ◼ ► saying kudos like you wanted to screw it [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4112">TS</a>]
01:08:34 ◼ ► up and you screwed it up real good [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4114">TS</a>]
01:08:35 ◼ ► yeah but without but it like what you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4115">TS</a>]
01:08:39 ◼ ► are saying I mean I'm in a very i'm [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4119">TS</a>]
01:08:43 ◼ ► interesting place with my daughter right [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4123">TS</a>]
01:08:45 ◼ ► now which is that she when when I push [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4125">TS</a>]
01:08:48 ◼ ► her a little bit too much just just to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4128">TS</a>]
01:08:53 ◼ ► sound out a word or two try to climb [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4133">TS</a>]
01:08:57 ◼ ► over the wall herself or to you know [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4137">TS</a>]
01:09:01 ◼ ► what whatever I say you know try again [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4141">TS</a>]
01:09:04 ◼ ► if i say try again three times she [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4144">TS</a>]
01:09:11 ◼ ► surrenders and and we get caught in a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4151">TS</a>]
01:09:18 ◼ ► dynamic where I say well I mean you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4158">TS</a>]
01:09:22 ◼ ► we have to try we have to try again [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4162">TS</a>]
01:09:25 ◼ ► there's nothing wrong with trying again [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4165">TS</a>]
01:09:26 ◼ ► there's nothing wrong with trying and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4166">TS</a>]
01:09:27 ◼ ► not succeeding but it's important to try [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4167">TS</a>]
01:09:30 ◼ ► multiple times and she says no I can't I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4170">TS</a>]
01:09:35 ◼ ► can't do it and gets very emotional and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4175">TS</a>]
01:09:41 ◼ ► I and I'm thinking back to my own [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4181">TS</a>]
01:09:43 ◼ ► relationship with my dad who in those [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4183">TS</a>]
01:09:45 ◼ ► situations was would get mad and would [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4185">TS</a>]
01:09:49 ◼ ► say god damn it get up and do it again [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4189">TS</a>]
01:09:51 ◼ ► and I don't and I don't want to be there [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4191">TS</a>]
01:09:54 ◼ ► and I do do this thing that you're [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4194">TS</a>]
01:09:56 ◼ ► saying where I'm like let's talk about [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4196">TS</a>]
01:09:58 ◼ ► your feelings here and she's just like [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4198">TS</a>]
01:10:01 ◼ ► fuck you talking like a i think a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4201">TS</a>]
01:10:04 ◼ ► process server that the reaction is so [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4204">TS</a>]
01:10:08 ◼ ► go to hell and eventually what we end up [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4208">TS</a>]
01:10:11 ◼ ► doing is sometimes we're just we just [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4211">TS</a>]
01:10:13 ◼ ► sit on the sidewalk for 30 minutes not [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4213">TS</a>]
01:10:17 ◼ ► trying not you know and crying and not [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4217">TS</a>]
01:10:24 ◼ ► succeeding and my and my parenting is [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4224">TS</a>]
01:10:27 ◼ ► not succeeding and I see all kinds of [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4227">TS</a>]
01:10:30 ◼ ► parents who you know whose whose [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4230">TS</a>]
01:10:35 ◼ ► philosophy is well she doesn't want to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4235">TS</a>]
01:10:37 ◼ ► do it then then move on get an ice cream [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4237">TS</a>]
01:10:39 ◼ ► cone and you know and I don't and I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4239">TS</a>]
01:10:43 ◼ ► don't often admire the results of that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4243">TS</a>]
01:10:45 ◼ ► style of parenting and so not i'm [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4245">TS</a>]
01:10:50 ◼ ► absolutely at a at a an impasse and I'm [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4250">TS</a>]
01:10:56 ◼ ► by your insight into the fact that she [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4256">TS</a>]
01:10:59 ◼ ► knows that she's she knows what her [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4259">TS</a>]
01:11:01 ◼ ► vulnerabilities are and she knows that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4261">TS</a>]
01:11:04 ◼ ► those are the last things that she wants [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4264">TS</a>]
01:11:06 ◼ ► to reveal like that feels very native to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4266">TS</a>]
01:11:13 ◼ ► me to that your vulnerabilities are not [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4273">TS</a>]
01:11:17 ◼ ► what you want to probe not the things [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4277">TS</a>]
01:11:20 ◼ ► you had an end to surrender in those [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4280">TS</a>]
01:11:22 ◼ ► moments as she does is very defensive [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4282">TS</a>]
01:11:27 ◼ ► against failure obviously but also [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4287">TS</a>]
01:11:31 ◼ ► defensive against against my involvement [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4291">TS</a>]
01:11:38 ◼ ► and right you know she's such a small [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4298">TS</a>]
01:11:44 ◼ ► baby still that it that all of this is I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4304">TS</a>]
01:11:52 ◼ ► strategizing it it's just coming out [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4312">TS</a>]
01:11:56 ◼ ► this way but I feel like I'm I feel like [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4316">TS</a>]
01:12:00 ◼ ► I really want them to try and not carved [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4320">TS</a>]
01:12:05 ◼ ► big ruts in the ground right and yes and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4325">TS</a>]
01:12:10 ◼ ► I mean this is a huge process for me [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4330">TS</a>]
01:12:13 ◼ ► that I struggle with all the time but if [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4333">TS</a>]
01:12:15 ◼ ► you think about how often with us with [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4335">TS</a>]
01:12:17 ◼ ► anybody but especially with a little kid [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4337">TS</a>]
01:12:20 ◼ ► what so you get your crying what is [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4340">TS</a>]
01:12:26 ◼ ► something that's so emotional that you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4346">TS</a>]
01:12:28 ◼ ► have a good buffer overrun or whatever [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4348">TS</a>]
01:12:31 ◼ ► like there's just too much stuff here [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4351">TS</a>]
01:12:32 ◼ ► and you kind of want to give up but you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4352">TS</a>]
01:12:35 ◼ ► know what i mean it's like you kind of [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4355">TS</a>]
01:12:36 ◼ ► emotionally reached the end of your rope [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4356">TS</a>]
01:12:37 ◼ ► and that's how it comes out but what is [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4357">TS</a>]
01:12:39 ◼ ► the emotion that's so frequently [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4359">TS</a>]
01:12:41 ◼ ► precedes crying its anger like think [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4361">TS</a>]
01:12:45 ◼ ► about how at least my in our case at our [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4365">TS</a>]
01:12:46 ◼ ► house like crying is almost always [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4366">TS</a>]
01:12:48 ◼ ► preceded with anger and I think a lot of [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4368">TS</a>]
01:12:50 ◼ ► times that anger is unconsciously like [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4370">TS</a>]
01:12:56 ◼ ► vulnerability that you have like for you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4376">TS</a>]
01:12:58 ◼ ► and me will try again to do this thing [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4378">TS</a>]
01:13:00 ◼ ► you know they're not gonna die even if [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4380">TS</a>]
01:13:02 ◼ ► they fall but they don't but they're [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4382">TS</a>]
01:13:04 ◼ ► also you as you know as well as I think [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4384">TS</a>]
01:13:06 ◼ ► agreeing that the vulnerability part is [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4386">TS</a>]
01:13:09 ◼ ► the improbable upside down approach that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4389">TS</a>]
01:13:12 ◼ ► I'm trying to really think about and i [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4392">TS</a>]
01:13:13 ◼ ► had to not have a handle on this yet [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4393">TS</a>]
01:13:15 ◼ ► whether it's for my daughter for anybody [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4395">TS</a>]
01:13:17 ◼ ► to junior hire anybody else is that I do [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4397">TS</a>]
01:13:19 ◼ ► really feel like very few things are [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4399">TS</a>]
01:13:23 ◼ ► successful in the wrong run when they're [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4403">TS</a>]
01:13:25 ◼ ► based on fear and depleting security [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4405">TS</a>]
01:13:28 ◼ ► like that can be when you're a grown-up [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4408">TS</a>]
01:13:30 ◼ ► like their stuff you gotta do and you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4410">TS</a>]
01:13:32 ◼ ► want to take care of this like you have [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4412">TS</a>]
01:13:34 ◼ ► the equipment to deal with that but [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4414">TS</a>]
01:13:36 ◼ ► especially when you're younger and you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4416">TS</a>]
01:13:37 ◼ ► have all those vulnerabilities that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4417">TS</a>]
01:13:38 ◼ ► you're acutely aware of like I just try [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4418">TS</a>]
01:13:42 ◼ ► unintentionally becomes less secure [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4422">TS</a>]
01:13:45 ◼ ► rather than more secure because I feel [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4425">TS</a>]
01:13:47 ◼ ► like I'm being supportive when I say hey [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4427">TS</a>]
01:13:49 ◼ ► you know you can do this or I you know I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4429">TS</a>]
01:13:51 ◼ ► know but what I'm really doing is kind [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4431">TS</a>]
01:13:53 ◼ ► of making it about me and I'm kind of [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4433">TS</a>]
01:13:54 ◼ ► making you know when like here's my [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4434">TS</a>]
01:13:56 ◼ ► expectations for what you can do when [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4436">TS</a>]
01:13:58 ◼ ► like what you described like sitting on [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4438">TS</a>]
01:14:00 ◼ ► that's the thing to do is the hardest [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4440">TS</a>]
01:14:02 ◼ ► thing in the world again Shh right [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4442">TS</a>]
01:14:04 ◼ ► there's this time we've got to go like [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4444">TS</a>]
01:14:06 ◼ ► you know what I all of my words are not [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4446">TS</a>]
01:14:08 ◼ ► going to do anything to add to this and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4448">TS</a>]
01:14:10 ◼ ► in a way i'm probably not i'm not aware [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4450">TS</a>]
01:14:13 ◼ ► of i am making this more perilous [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4453">TS</a>]
01:14:15 ◼ ► because now she sees me being nervous [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4455">TS</a>]
01:14:17 ◼ ► and trying to make her feel better [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4457">TS</a>]
01:14:18 ◼ ► why is he doing that well I must have [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4458">TS</a>]
01:14:19 ◼ ► done something wrong or something bad [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4459">TS</a>]
01:14:21 ◼ ► you know what I mean it's like you are [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4461">TS</a>]
01:14:23 ◼ ► reactions to how people do stuff in the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4463">TS</a>]
01:14:24 ◼ ► world ends up having a much user impact [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4464">TS</a>]
01:14:27 ◼ ► than what we think or what we believe or [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4467">TS</a>]
01:14:28 ◼ ► even what we say you know what I mean [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4468">TS</a>]
01:14:33 ◼ ► supportiveness sometimes it just let [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4473">TS</a>]
01:14:35 ◼ ► them you know you don't want you to turn [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4475">TS</a>]
01:14:37 ◼ ► into it you know an idiot or an asshole [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4477">TS</a>]
01:14:39 ◼ ► but I think about things I said to her [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4479">TS</a>]
01:14:41 ◼ ► that I thought were very inspiring and i [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4481">TS</a>]
01:14:44 ◼ ► I've said things in the past like I know [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4484">TS</a>]
01:14:46 ◼ ► you can be a better person than this and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4486">TS</a>]
01:14:48 ◼ ► think oh my gosh what a horrible for [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4488">TS</a>]
01:14:50 ◼ ► what a horrible thing to say I'm trying [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4490">TS</a>]
01:14:52 ◼ ► to say I really do believe in you and I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4492">TS</a>]
01:14:53 ◼ ► know you're a good person but like [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4493">TS</a>]
01:14:55 ◼ ► because to me that's a question I ask [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4495">TS</a>]
01:14:57 ◼ ► myself is this the person that I want to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4497">TS</a>]
01:14:58 ◼ ► be all grown man that's a good question [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4498">TS</a>]
01:15:02 ◼ ► you're not a great question feel [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4502">TS</a>]
01:15:03 ◼ ► supported but it's not yeah yeah and and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4503">TS</a>]
01:15:06 ◼ ► I I don't know how much my parents [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4506">TS</a>]
01:15:12 ◼ ► recognize themselves in me it didn't [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4512">TS</a>]
01:15:16 ◼ ► seem to me like they did recognize [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4516">TS</a>]
01:15:18 ◼ ► themselves very much in me until maybe [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4518">TS</a>]
01:15:22 ◼ ► um and and watching Marlo I'm trying not [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4522">TS</a>]
01:15:28 ◼ ► to recognize myself in her because I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4528">TS</a>]
01:15:33 ◼ ► don't want to put my own struggles on [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4533">TS</a>]
01:15:38 ◼ ► struggles as extensions of mine or or [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4538">TS</a>]
01:15:42 ◼ ► recapitulation of some family line so [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4542">TS</a>]
01:15:47 ◼ ► it's hard not to do and and and so I'm [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4547">TS</a>]
01:15:52 ◼ ► just watching her and saying like what [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4552">TS</a>]
01:15:53 ◼ ► are you gonna do what are you going to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4553">TS</a>]
01:15:57 ◼ ► struggle with and you know and I also [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4557">TS</a>]
01:16:05 ◼ ► wanted to stop yelling in restaurants [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4565">TS</a>]
01:16:08 ◼ ► about stuff about her poop you know so [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4568">TS</a>]
01:16:13 ◼ ► there are things there are certain [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4573">TS</a>]
01:16:15 ◼ ► things well that's the great goals i [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4575">TS</a>]
01:16:17 ◼ ► just say no you do not yell about poop [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4577">TS</a>]
01:16:20 ◼ ► in a Mexican restaurant but but beyond [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4580">TS</a>]
01:16:26 ◼ ► that like do I care if she's a soccer [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4586">TS</a>]
01:16:29 ◼ ► player or not know do i do I want her to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4589">TS</a>]
01:16:34 ◼ ► learn that if she tries something and it [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4594">TS</a>]
01:16:37 ◼ ► doesn't work that someone else will step [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4597">TS</a>]
01:16:39 ◼ ► in and do it for no do I want her to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4599">TS</a>]
01:16:43 ◼ ► learn that if she tried something and it [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4603">TS</a>]
01:16:46 ◼ ► everything comes to a screeching halt [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4606">TS</a>]
01:16:47 ◼ ► and everybody stares at her until she [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4607">TS</a>]
01:16:50 ◼ ► so you know but but I've never I've [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4610">TS</a>]
01:16:54 ◼ ► never helped somebody learn how to do [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4614">TS</a>]
01:16:56 ◼ ► things like this before you know [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4616">TS</a>]
01:16:58 ◼ ► somebody wasn't I mean to do not appear [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4618">TS</a>]
01:17:01 ◼ ► and she's like she's like from another [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4621">TS</a>]
01:17:02 ◼ ► planet right I don't hurt her skill set [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4622">TS</a>]
01:17:07 ◼ ► I'm not teaching her to drive i'm [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4627">TS</a>]
01:17:09 ◼ ► teaching her not to eat glass and you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4629">TS</a>]
01:17:14 ◼ ► know and I don't want to I don't want to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4634">TS</a>]
01:17:16 ◼ ► fill her little heart with fear and I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4636">TS</a>]
01:17:18 ◼ ► don't want to I don't want to make her [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4638">TS</a>]
01:17:22 ◼ ► embarrassed about herself and you know [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4642">TS</a>]
01:17:25 ◼ ► and so far so far we're doing a great [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4645">TS</a>]
01:17:31 ◼ ► I feel like weird we're doing good but [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4651">TS</a>]
01:17:34 ◼ ► this is a new this is a new world where [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4654">TS</a>]
01:17:36 ◼ ► she is asserting herself and the only [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4656">TS</a>]
01:17:39 ◼ ► way she the only power she has is the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4659">TS</a>]
01:17:42 ◼ ► power to um you know it's not the only [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4662">TS</a>]
01:17:47 ◼ ► power but it's very interesting to watch [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4667">TS</a>]
01:17:49 ◼ ► heard learned that she has the power to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4669">TS</a>]
01:17:52 ◼ ► not do something for the power to not [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4672">TS</a>]
01:17:59 ◼ ► uh-huh especially if she knows it drives [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4679">TS</a>]
01:18:03 ◼ ► uh-huh and i used the power to not try [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4683">TS</a>]
01:18:07 ◼ ► that was one of my major powers in my [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4687">TS</a>]
01:18:12 ◼ ► family the power to not try a superpower [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4692">TS</a>]
01:18:15 ◼ ► it was my super power and the power to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4695">TS</a>]
01:18:18 ◼ ► not try is incredibly frustrating for [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4698">TS</a>]
01:18:21 ◼ ► people for other people because it isn't [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4701">TS</a>]
01:18:24 ◼ ► you know it isn't that you're trying and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4704">TS</a>]
01:18:26 ◼ ► fucking up it is that you just aren't [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4706">TS</a>]
01:18:28 ◼ ► even willing to try and that drove my my [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4708">TS</a>]
01:18:33 ◼ ► own people to distraction and it caused [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4713">TS</a>]
01:18:36 ◼ ► me so much additional pain and suffering [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4716">TS</a>]
01:18:39 ◼ ► in my own life over and above this the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4719">TS</a>]
01:18:43 ◼ ► pain and suffering of just failing at [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4723">TS</a>]
01:18:44 ◼ ► something and I don't want I don't want [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4724">TS</a>]
01:18:48 ◼ ► her to have to to endure that the same [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4728">TS</a>]
01:18:52 ◼ ► way i did but i have to you know I have [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4732">TS</a>]
01:18:57 ◼ ► to step back and say she's not reliving [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4737">TS</a>]
01:19:01 ◼ ► your life she's not you know should her [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4741">TS</a>]
01:19:04 ◼ ► her challenges are different so I i said [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4744">TS</a>]
01:19:12 ◼ ► and talk to her but I'm going to start [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4752">TS</a>]
01:19:16 ◼ ► doing that now with this this other [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4756">TS</a>]
01:19:19 ◼ ► understanding that she's not that that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4759">TS</a>]
01:19:24 ◼ ► no no one in their right mind and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4764">TS</a>]
01:19:26 ◼ ► particularly not a four-year-old is [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4766">TS</a>]
01:19:28 ◼ ► going to be unguarded about the things [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4768">TS</a>]
01:19:33 ◼ ► that she knows our her her greatest [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4773">TS</a>]
01:19:36 ◼ ► vulnerabilities and that's just seems [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4776">TS</a>]
01:19:38 ◼ ► that makes so much sense when you say it [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4778">TS</a>]
01:19:42 ◼ ► of course you don't that's not your [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4782">TS</a>]
01:19:44 ◼ ► expectation right i mean i would think [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4784">TS</a>]
01:19:46 ◼ ► so much parenting advice is it is [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4786">TS</a>]
01:19:50 ◼ ► predicated on the idea that your child [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4790">TS</a>]
01:19:52 ◼ ► is an open book and that they're gonna [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4792">TS</a>]
01:19:54 ◼ ► just tell me they're gonna talk about [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4794">TS</a>]
01:19:58 ◼ ► the worst thing in the world I feel like [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4798">TS</a>]
01:20:00 ◼ ► such activities is such a fit such a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4800">TS</a>]
01:20:02 ◼ ► total failure that I thought maybe I'd [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4802">TS</a>]
01:20:06 ◼ ► just watched any TV shows i really [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4806">TS</a>]
01:20:07 ◼ ► thought it could be something where I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4807">TS</a>]
01:20:08 ◼ ► wrap lightly on the door and stick my [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4808">TS</a>]
01:20:10 ◼ ► hand I got hey do you want to talk [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4810">TS</a>]
01:20:13 ◼ ► what hey hey sweetie you know the way [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4813">TS</a>]
01:20:19 ◼ ► communications between father and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4819">TS</a>]
01:20:21 ◼ ► daughter just to start talking about [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4821">TS</a>]
01:20:22 ◼ ► your feelings when you're for yeah you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4822">TS</a>]
01:20:24 ◼ ► know i was thinkin maybe I to come into [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4824">TS</a>]
01:20:26 ◼ ► your room which is the only place where [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4826">TS</a>]
01:20:28 ◼ ► you feel really safe from the rest of [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4828">TS</a>]
01:20:30 ◼ ► the world and I committed confront [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4830">TS</a>]
01:20:32 ◼ ► structure of vulnerabilities and that's [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4832">TS</a>]
01:20:35 ◼ ► just sit on the edge of your bed and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4835">TS</a>]
01:20:36 ◼ ► wrapped you know you know what I'll just [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4836">TS</a>]
01:20:38 ◼ ► be a I'll just be a friendly ear while [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4838">TS</a>]
01:20:41 ◼ ► you talk about all of that and you know [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4841">TS</a>]
01:20:44 ◼ ► what and maybe even i'll make some [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4844">TS</a>]
01:20:45 ◼ ► suggestions maybe I'll tale about how [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEPMaefU/4845">TS</a>]