Roderick on the Line

Ep. 170: "The Wilder Universe"


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  hello I John hi Merlin how's it going [TS]

  good [TS]

  happy slightly belated birthday [TS]

  oh thank you text you on the day but you [TS]

  know you did [TS]

  yeah how Janet birthday how did I have a [TS]

  good birthday i'm sorry i'll take to a [TS]

  good birthday I did I you know I'm not a [TS]

  I'm not a big birthday celebrate ur but [TS]

  I have a family but who care about you [TS]

  so I'm obligated [TS]

  yeah to allow them to celebrate me and [TS]

  grudgingly celebrated so I do i submit [TS]

  to being celebrated but I was you know I [TS]

  was in Portland one of my one of my [TS]

  favorite northwestern rivertown your [TS]

  important portland oregon nice and there [TS]

  and then there's in the middle of the [TS]

  XOXO festival [TS]

  how was that oh it was fun and I go to [TS]

  that you did it [TS]

  oh my god I totally did you did in fact [TS]

  I saw you in person ate ramen with you [TS]

  real life Merlin man i saw just a couple [TS]

  of days ago [TS]

  not only did I cmi pingdom boo couple of [TS]

  times we had a high-level conversation [TS]

  in a hotel lobby [TS]

  we did we did we did have Robin we saw a [TS]

  lot of internet people oh my god so many [TS]

  internet people who us [TS]

  I won't talk about that I'm so [TS]

  overwhelmed a very nice man gave me a [TS]

  very nice book stories who gave me a [TS]

  book and you say he's a use a wonderful [TS]

  fellow from baltimore he gave me a book [TS]

  he said I thought that you would like [TS]

  this book it was wrapped in brown paper [TS]

  with type of the string like like he was [TS]

  someone who knew how to do things right [TS]

  when somebody has your packages wrapped [TS]

  very nicely in brown paper you're like [TS]

  oh you know how to do things i totally [TS]

  agree i think if somebody gives you [TS]

  something it should be wrapped in brown [TS]

  paper probably with string because [TS]

  nobody needs to know what's in there [TS]

  you have an easy especially if it's a [TS]

  gift you don't know what it is you know [TS]

  you should be able to open that in your [TS]

  repose that's exactly right and I was [TS]

  sitting I was sitting later at a table [TS]

  with the the armaments Marco and Tiffany [TS]

  and with the biorhythms missed math love [TS]

  that guy and a couple of Andy's various [TS]

  Andy's 1 and e 1 and e in particular on [TS]

  XOXO Andy and and I had this this [TS]

  package wrapped with brown paper and [TS]

  they were all speculating what it was [TS]

  and I didn't have to reveal and then [TS]

  there was some talk about like maybe he [TS]

  just came with a with a book in a brown [TS]

  paper wrapper and he was just waiting [TS]

  for somebody to give it to and I said no [TS]

  well or maybe there's a card in here [TS]

  addressed to me with a nice note and [TS]

  they're like probably not probably just [TS]

  walked around with a book and then he he [TS]

  figured out to give it to somebody [TS]

  let's speculate you know you're under no [TS]

  obligation to break the tension [TS]

  yeah I said I guess you'll never know [TS]

  but in fact there was a nice note [TS]

  yeah the book is called so jesus i was i [TS]

  I've been thinking about it all the last [TS]

  day [TS]

  it's called low freaking frag remember [TS]

  it [TS]

  yeah it's one of those book titles like [TS]

  that down the street here there's a [TS]

  railroad well there's a rail road here [TS]

  in Seattle her sort of a famous one [TS]

  Burlington Northern and they bought the [TS]

  Santa Fe Railroad not very long ago [TS]

  well a long time ago and now it's called [TS]

  the Burlington Northern Santa Fe but [TS]

  they have a system where they park their [TS]

  locomotives way out by the airport then [TS]

  they drive people to drive the engineers [TS]

  and the brakeman in the I guess the old [TS]

  shovelers they drive out there in vans [TS]

  and the company that owns the Vans is [TS]

  called something like transportation [TS]

  company limited it looks like an FBI van [TS]

  that and I'm like transportation company [TS]

  is really only it's called professional [TS]

  transportation items that sounds [TS]

  completely made up and I was like that's [TS]

  not real and I and I I i took the time [TS]

  to google it like a professional [TS]

  transportation inc really and it was [TS]

  like / yes professional transportation [TS]

  inc is really what it's called and it's [TS]

  owned by it's a subsidiary of like a [TS]

  company incorporated or like business [TS]

  business enterprise incorporated I'm [TS]

  just like this [TS]

  the people that work for railroads need [TS]

  to jazz up their game a little bit yeah [TS]

  but this book that he gave me has a [TS]

  similar title it's like systems design [TS]

  systems [TS]

  pink is it really big [TS]

  it's a very big book is it design [TS]

  patterns is it design patterns that the [TS]

  name of the book let me design it for [TS]

  somebody like a really really big book [TS]

  about how you make spaces [TS]

  it's a very big book about spaces might [TS]

  be different patterns which is a very [TS]

  good book but it's from its from the 786 [TS]

  from the seventies it's probably is [TS]

  probably a book called design patterns [TS]

  it's really really famous you are [TS]

  familiar with this but I have a copy of [TS]

  it it's really as well as if it's the 1 [TS]

  i'm thinking of its really it's like a [TS]

  like a really simple looking cover and [TS]

  Christopher Christopher forget him he's [TS]

  the guy who invented the idea of design [TS]

  patterns design patterns [TS]

  yeah which are now huge in all kinds of [TS]

  disciplines and it's a really really [TS]

  interesting book because it's really [TS]

  more evil you it's like reading a [TS]

  cookbook you wouldn't read it it's all [TS]

  the way through it's more like a [TS]

  reference book and it's got things like [TS]

  you know this place to sit by a window [TS]

  like that's a pattern like you know [TS]

  having these having closely grouped [TS]

  houses with access to retail and things [TS]

  like that it's all these ideas the [TS]

  things that tend to work when we make [TS]

  public and private places so you are [TS]

  describing exactly what this book is but [TS]

  i have just looked up the book design [TS]

  patterns on the internet and that is a [TS]

  book [TS]

  subtitled elements of reusable [TS]

  object-oriented software [TS]

  well yes that and it does not look like [TS]

  the book that i have Christopher [TS]

  Alexander oh sorry to be a pattern [TS]

  language foreign language now we're [TS]

  talking about the book a pattern link so [TS]

  its first hehe first use it to talk [TS]

  about architecture and communities and [TS]

  it's super interesting book and yes what [TS]

  you're describing has been its today I [TS]

  would say arguably more famous for its [TS]

  use in software design [TS]

  I mean roughly speaking of design [TS]

  pattern i've heard it described as [TS]

  designed a pattern is this a is method [TS]

  that you know tends to work for in [TS]

  certain contexts and then you also have [TS]

  your anti-patterns right you ever use [TS]

  that phrase anti-pattern an anti-pattern [TS]

  is something that seems like it works [TS]

  for seems like it would work but doesn't [TS]

  actually work [TS]

  oh there are so many of them all man [TS]

  this book is good this you talk about [TS]

  this is this is maybe one of the [TS]

  original great thought technologies [TS]

  it's really good well I'm just thumbing [TS]

  through it I was like oh I'm very [TS]

  interested in that I'm very interested [TS]

  in that and i'm also very interested in [TS]

  that so unless and really just for what [TS]

  it's worth you might want to go check [TS]

  that's a very costly book i received it [TS]

  as a gift as well it's a very costly [TS]

  book I'm i couldn't be more thrilled you [TS]

  know I got I got another book while I [TS]

  was down in portland now and I saw that [TS]

  two very very thick have to go the [TS]

  orange room or the purple room or the [TS]

  Pearl room to pick it up [TS]

  well so we were in the gold room for a [TS]

  while the purple room is where where you [TS]

  spent quite a bit of time I pretty sure [TS]

  to where I'm going I picked up the book [TS]

  somewhere and the pink pink we have to [TS]

  go to IDC us top floor were only cranky [TS]

  people work right that's right that's [TS]

  right where the carpeting stopped and [TS]

  then all of a sudden it was just metal [TS]

  doors clanging that's one of my favorite [TS]

  shel silverstein books for the carpet [TS]

  and ok if you don't eat [TS]

  oh oh yeah called brazilian lose them [TS]

  uh you're gonna I think that is a book [TS]

  that you don't oversell it but it's a [TS]

  book he might find rather absorbing what [TS]

  you know so I've been curating several [TS]

  libraries as you know and the one I've [TS]

  been spending the most time on recently [TS]

  has been the library for [TS]

  the downstairs bathroom oh wow and the [TS]

  library on for the downstairs bathroom [TS]

  now has sort of matured and I feel like [TS]

  if you if you spend any time in the [TS]

  downstairs bathroom at my house you are [TS]

  going to find something that's the one [TS]

  in the back by the kitchen that's what [TS]

  that's one of the back by the kitchen [TS]

  you're going to find something to engage [TS]

  you and thrill you in the downstairs [TS]

  bathroom library but i feel like that I [TS]

  feel like that library is complete now [TS]

  this this new set of books is definitely [TS]

  like I'm afraid that they're both a [TS]

  little too heady for the the night table [TS]

  I think it's gonna be hard to sit up in [TS]

  bed and read either one of these books [TS]

  to the way six pounds and you know like [TS]

  this is the this is the problem with [TS]

  this kind of book right you know it's [TS]

  not a thing that you read to put [TS]

  yourself to sleep you have to state give [TS]

  to stay focused you have to read them [TS]

  with good posture who so i feel like its [TS]

  back [TS]

  these are both going to end up in the [TS]

  kitchen library who this might be like [TS]

  wow [TS]

  while pasta is boiling the override are [TS]

  sitting at the dining room table with [TS]

  the with a mug of something you know [TS]

  fall is here [TS]

  mhm I was once i was i was actually with [TS]

  tiff tiff tore my outfit apart [TS]

  what oh yeah well first of all as you [TS]

  know I was way overdressed in terms of [TS]

  layers for all that was warm it was Jane [TS]

  she she gave me a like a pretty serious [TS]

  browbeating for wearing a penalty in [TS]

  shirt was 84 and pointed out that my [TS]

  clocks were made of suede and that's [TS]

  actually a fall shoe [TS]

  she's right about the suede Clark's but [TS]

  i but I feel like later days coming on [TS]

  what she doesn't understand about the [TS]

  northwest is that the Pendleton shirt is [TS]

  a year-round shirt because the wool [TS]

  really breathe who and and we just where [TS]

  the wall all year even when it's 92 an [TS]

  executive assistant it's always there [TS]

  yeah she's from the east coast they have [TS]

  different ideas about things [TS]

  Oh John have so many different ideas [TS]

  about things there [TS]

  you know what I mean like they are [TS]

  probably what she probably has something [TS]

  to say about ultra suede and I don't [TS]

  even a know what ultrasuede is now and [TS]

  be could not tell you a single time when [TS]

  you are meant to wear ultrasuede is [TS]

  ultra suede suede as pleather is the [TS]

  leather I think you know my mom from [TS]

  Ohio used to have all kinds of things to [TS]

  say about ultra suede and I guess [TS]

  to my eternal shame I tuned it all out [TS]

  because now i don't i still don't know [TS]

  what it is i think it is a manufactured [TS]

  suede it sounds like a band from about [TS]

  Oh wouldn't that have been a good to bad [TS]

  about that other band name suede but [TS]

  that doesn't dissuade most of you who [TS]

  like to copy old band names including [TS]

  bands in the northwest who have called [TS]

  themselves western state huh [TS]

  even though i already had a popular band [TS]

  called me and said hurricane you you're [TS]

  almost on the label [TS]

  we're almost on a label there are bad [TS]

  there's a band called a long winter [TS]

  yeah and I think there are metal band i [TS]

  know that that's long winters stare LOL [TS]

  ok yeah cuz I used to find out we call [TS]

  it the namespace pollution is to find it [TS]

  difficult to find you and miss the [TS]

  amongst many other Long's and winters's [TS]

  yeah so long winters stare was actually [TS]

  a fairly like a prog metal band or [TS]

  something they were above a a viable [TS]

  metal band for a time in mind but and we [TS]

  may even have enough for a time we may [TS]

  even have intruded on their space [TS]

  because they may have pre-existed the [TS]

  long winters [TS]

  uh-huh so i may be on stick thin ice [TS]

  here complaining about this this [TS]

  pollution that you're talking about but [TS]

  then later on another band some other [TS]

  like dumb non-viable indie rock band [TS]

  called themselves a long winter or and [TS]

  that forced me forced me over to get a [TS]

  copyright attorney and to register the [TS]

  trademark the long winter which then a [TS]

  cost me a lot of money be caused me to [TS]

  have to deal with attorneys [TS]

  yep [TS]

  including copyright attorney is Jonathan [TS]

  I could say it's it's a kind of meal [TS]

  I've had copyrights it is costly does [TS]

  take attorneys and then you gotta update [TS]

  them and keep all they read made such a [TS]

  bunch of baloney but this updating its [TS]

  just like a the biggest deal of all like [TS]

  well you've been pouring money into this [TS]

  thing is it's one of those things it's [TS]

  like my my late great friend Leslie Hart [TS]

  police to say I don't like buying toys [TS]

  for my toys in this case like I don't [TS]

  have to buy phone and in a case and then [TS]

  a cable and all that stuff [TS]

  ultimate heels right and in this case [TS]

  what is a copywriting a copyright thing [TS]

  is something that enables you to have a [TS]

  standing in costly lawsuits that you [TS]

  can't afford that's right and saying [TS]

  it's like it's like the cover fee after [TS]

  15 years of paying these lawyers to [TS]

  basically file a piece of paper that any [TS]

  idiot could do but that I just didn't [TS]

  want to do myself for that you know [TS]

  maybe it's impossible to do [TS]

  who knows doesn't seem like it should be [TS]

  but they have the they have although [TS]

  they have all that bad that Bank of [TS]

  switches at that every lawyer has the [TS]

  story and they can turn on the switch [TS]

  and you can't that's how they make money [TS]

  is they take something really [TS]

  inconvenient nobody wants to do and they [TS]

  have the the knowledge and scale to did [TS]

  to do it for nickels charges a whole [TS]

  bunch my god bless them but then I got a [TS]

  registered letter from the estate [TS]

  Laura Ingalls Wilder what who you may or [TS]

  may not know wrote a book called a long [TS]

  winter as part of her series of books [TS]

  about life on the prayer houses prairies [TS]

  littleness and they said oh oopsie Daisy [TS]

  we forgot to copyright a long winter [TS]

  because didn't occur to us because we're [TS]

  her estate and who knows who we are [TS]

  we're just a room full of lawyers to but [TS]

  now we're thinking of developing a long [TS]

  winter her less famous book about life [TS]

  on the Prairie where did think about [TS]

  developing it into some various products [TS]

  maybe a movie maybe you know it's [TS]

  working what sort of the marvel universe [TS]

  except it's the Laurel angle wider [TS]

  Wilders universe and we want to make [TS]

  sure that we have the [TS]

  sorry something imagine say we describe [TS]

  the marvel universe of the DC universe [TS]

  huh yeah that's right in there like and [TS]

  they honestly said in this letter you [TS]

  know we don't think that there will be [TS]

  any confusion between a long winter and [TS]

  the long winters so we're just hoping [TS]

  that you won't mind as the cover over it [TS]

  we just avoid any unpleasantness [TS]

  that's right let's avoid any [TS]

  unpleasantness what will it take for you [TS]

  to not mind but then they proceeded to [TS]

  list some of the other things that they [TS]

  wanted to do is they were exploring the [TS]

  the new a Wilder universe which was [TS]

  maybe we'll do a Broadway show a long [TS]

  winter [TS]

  oh now it's like the Apple problem no [TS]

  they get into music that's right and I'm [TS]

  like whoa whoa whoa i was thinking about [TS]

  doing a lower Broadway show what if i [TS]

  wanted to do a Broadway show me tell you [TS]

  Wilders and Engels is I'm thinking about [TS]

  doing a lot of stuff that's right and [TS]

  they were like what if we had a Broadway [TS]

  show that had a sound track record what [TS]

  if it was a musical set on the prairie [TS]

  and so then my team of lawyers who had [TS]

  been sitting dormant inside their [TS]

  chrysalis their Christmas you know [TS]

  struggle to open on stage and they [TS]

  inside and they're trying to play the [TS]

  baseball while but eventually they were [TS]

  animated and said well if you listen the [TS]

  state of of famous american author if [TS]

  you want to use a long winter [TS]

  you're gonna have to talk to us here [TS]

  have to come through us you're going to [TS]

  pay us some like fuck you amount of [TS]

  money that's like getting a bodyguard [TS]

  that picks fights [TS]

  it's exactly what I want answers as a [TS]

  man like everything's fine everything's [TS]

  you know this does not need to be [TS]

  complicated it's not this could this is [TS]

  something you could settle with a couple [TS]

  calls [TS]

  yeah this is fine and you know she is a [TS]

  beloved American author loved by people [TS]

  everywhere I do not want i'm not the [TS]

  thug in this story but I just I just got [TS]

  the copyright for the band name because [TS]

  of these dorks who decided to call their [TS]

  band a long winter and I wanted to [TS]

  to send them a letter that said hey shut [TS]

  it down [TS]

  dopes and now i am now I'm dealing with [TS]

  the ghost of Laura Ingalls Wilder [TS]

  suddenly here mr. / yeah and she and i [TS]

  know i mean i presume that that estate [TS]

  you know it's not like they have 500 [TS]

  million dollars who write I don't even [TS]

  think they have 50 million dollars [TS]

  I would be surprised if they had five [TS]

  million dollars she had got to be no way [TS]

  I'm sorry her stuff came out here's 10 [TS]

  the long winter novel came out in 1940 [TS]

  so it's still in copyright still in [TS]

  copyright i think yeah but i had the [TS]

  trade markers all right you know who [TS]

  knows he knows it's but they sought I [TS]

  think they actually before they sent me [TS]

  that letter they saw that I owned it and [TS]

  went before a hearing officer of some [TS]

  kind and said this isn't a problem right [TS]

  we had this thing is he came along as [TS]

  that thing this isn't this is an issue [TS]

  and the hearing officer said actually it [TS]

  is it is a story it could be or it could [TS]

  be right [TS]

  you don't already have the shirts [TS]

  printed up right exactly who so they [TS]

  came to me all with hat in hand because [TS]

  already they had talked to somebody and [TS]

  so my lawyers you know they all had they [TS]

  looked up from their meal of raw meat [TS]

  that they were having at some giant [TS]

  table in new york city and they're like [TS]

  she'll you know try and join them today [TS]

  what should we do master I can find many [TS]

  things and that was exactly right and [TS]

  also my copyright lawyers were the only [TS]

  lawyer I ever had and I've had appealed [TS]

  lawyers including some that were [TS]

  indicted in federal court but these were [TS]

  the only lawyers i had that every time [TS]

  they sent me a letter [TS]

  they charged me three hundred dollars [TS]

  they would send me a letter saying hey [TS]

  uh we don't get reluctant to respond [TS]

  it's time for us to send you a letter [TS]

  again here is the response generates a [TS]

  bill [TS]

  yeah well so yeah exactly that I didn't [TS]

  even it wasn't even a response i was [TS]

  just sitting there minding my own [TS]

  business and they were here is a letter [TS]

  and then an invoice came three hundred [TS]

  dollars because we said if any invoice [TS]

  for free and I would yeah i would I each [TS]

  time i would call them and yell and say [TS]

  you can't charge me three hundred [TS]

  dollars to send me a letter and they're [TS]

  like oh well you know German if I'm [TS]

  gonna send you up i'm gonna forward you [TS]

  over the building you know I've back and [TS]

  forth back and forth a couple of those [TS]

  things i got them couple of times i got [TS]

  that $300 credited to me but I'm sure [TS]

  that they charged me somewhere else [TS]

  anyway so they were like four up for the [TS]

  low low price of 12 thousand dollars [TS]

  worth of registered letters we can [TS]

  probably get them to give you twenty [TS]

  thousand dollars for the right i mean am [TS]

  I wrong it seems like to me like no no [TS]

  the thing is i have a preference you not [TS]

  use the name and then if you agree to [TS]

  the name for what sounds like a lot of [TS]

  money in that case I mean what that [TS]

  think it's really huge the lawyer see it [TS]

  as a here's how we get paid thing you [TS]

  see it more as they don't use my thing [TS]

  thing [TS]

  yeah right i wasn't i didn't like [TS]

  register this trademark so i could so I [TS]

  could squat on it and exploit people [TS]

  like me haha it's probably gonna cost [TS]

  you six hundred dollars to explain that [TS]

  to your lawyer's well and the exactly [TS]

  and this is the babies are all these [TS]

  internet squatters a ride like the [TS]

  domain squatters yeah that we used to [TS]

  think that was a really low class thing [TS]

  to do since squad on somebody's going [TS]

  over you know the way they buy patent [TS]

  portfolios and just wait for somebody to [TS]

  get successful and then send him a text [TS]

  and say by the way you you now OS this [TS]

  amount of money plus feature profits [TS]

  well listen let's be honest we are [TS]

  podcasting right now which is a thing [TS]

  that was invented by a guy and we owe [TS]

  him probably hundreds of thousands of [TS]

  dollars i think they finally kind of [TS]

  mostly settled that that was a huge [TS]

  thing and some of our friends received [TS]

  letters about that balloon the idea and [TS]

  anyway there's this american life about [TS]

  patent [TS]

  trolling that's amazing but yeah [TS]

  basically these folks around do that [TS]

  they they by other people's patents so [TS]

  it's not even the people who like and of [TS]

  course all the patent descriptions it's [TS]

  a total shitshow like all the stuff [TS]

  there's all kinds of stuff that has a [TS]

  patent like hyperlinks have a patent [TS]

  mhm like if you make a webpage for the [TS]

  link on your supposed to pay somebody [TS]

  alright feliz oh absolutely and I think [TS]

  if memory serves there was one that was [TS]

  the the patent that was being pursued on [TS]

  podcast was so asinine that if you'd [TS]

  ever heard or especially if you ever [TS]

  made a podcast you look at that and go [TS]

  that's not this it had to do with audio [TS]

  books and was this idea from like the [TS]

  eighties em I mean I hold the patent for [TS]

  farting in a shot glass is ahead that [TS]

  right that's a bit in your portfolio and [TS]

  I think people are doing that all the [TS]

  time and I'm not getting any money for [TS]

  it i mean i've been to Germany I know [TS]

  people are farting shot glasses [TS]

  worldwide and getting a fuckin sent this [TS]

  episode of Roderick on the line is [TS]

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  start accepting paypal Apple pay Bitcoin [TS]

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  integration across all platforms with [TS]

  superior fraud protection customer [TS]

  service and mhm [TS]

  fast payouts buddy to learn more and for [TS]

  your first fifty thousand dollars in [TS]

  transactions fee-free please go to [TS]

  braintree payments dot-com / supertrain [TS]

  thanks to braintree for taking the pain [TS]

  out of mobile payments and for [TS]

  supporting Roderick on the law so [TS]

  suffice to say i eventually called these [TS]

  lawyers and I said seasoned assists [TS]

  I'm sorry I ever engaged in this is [TS]

  Laura Ingalls Wilder's a state wants to [TS]

  wants to make a Broadway musical based [TS]

  on the long winter [TS]

  first of all Godspeed like it's gonna be [TS]

  a fuckin flop and that universe is not [TS]

  real I mean they're just that's just a [TS]

  rumor mill where is very big [TS]

  our house is there a little that's a [TS]

  team floor that's a room for lawyers [TS]

  also farting and shot glasses right [TS]

  coverage position sitting around like [TS]

  huh [TS]

  what can we do to justify how many [TS]

  billable hours can we come up with here [TS]

  like a we should go out and see if [TS]

  anybody has any competing copyrights [TS]

  with the increased with all of the books [TS]

  that she wrote and then we can charge [TS]

  the estate for all of these registered [TS]

  letters so I said stop doing this and [TS]

  then I I got a couple of our [TS]

  three-hundred-dollar letters from member [TS]

  and I said come by you know what I I i [TS]

  feel like i have established myself as [TS]

  the long winters and people know what it [TS]

  is and if other enterprises intrude upon [TS]

  that space let the chips fall where they [TS]

  may [TS]

  yeah I I'd I i do not want another [TS]

  Remora attached to my soft white [TS]

  underbelly [TS]

  so go you know go take a flying fuck at [TS]

  a rolling doughnut you lawyers and they [TS]

  presumably did back in the chrysalis and [TS]

  they're like move [TS]

  they're suing somebody right now they [TS]

  don't care about me kind of awful [TS]

  business so anyway all by way of saying [TS]

  if you actually know if you or anybody [TS]

  else is interested in it was pursuing a [TS]

  musical adaptation of the a little house [TS]

  on the prairie universe it you may find [TS]

  a ready audience somewhere [TS]

  yeah careful this might come up in court [TS]

  someday how the wild universe [TS]

  no I had a funny a Portland thing what [TS]

  happened to have fun important thing [TS]

  that I was not witness to my ad a to UM [TS]

  funny important things happen at the [TS]

  airport yesterday [TS]

  now let's just let's just preface this [TS]

  by saying anymore a huge huge deal at [TS]

  XOXO analysis that's not accurate you [TS]

  are a massive massive star in this [TS]

  environment [TS]

  thank you here's what i will say is um [TS]

  you know I I get overwhelmed sometimes [TS]

  but like you know how I'm always [TS]

  cracking wise and you know I think they [TS]

  saw this several times even during our [TS]

  just our time together at retail and [TS]

  restaurants I'm always ready to leave [TS]

  all the time [TS]

  oh that's right I'm always very close to [TS]

  leaving all the time or I'm always near [TS]

  the door like a communist near the door [TS]

  you know this about me 18 foot out the [TS]

  door in this case I don't mean like [TS]

  whatever but I i just i would mean this [TS]

  as a way of telling a funny story and [TS]

  it's not a bragging thing but it's a [TS]

  really nice thing like when I walked up [TS]

  to the venue to like get my badge and [TS]

  you know there's I knew so many people i [TS]

  standing in line I knew like four people [TS]

  just standing in line [TS]

  I got up to where you get the badges and [TS]

  I go to the whatever k through c-section [TS]

  and and the the guy [TS]

  oh gosh what was his name you got a [TS]

  photo with i took a photo of you with [TS]

  him you know I such a nice guy and and [TS]

  he was like he he he greets me with with [TS]

  a catchphrase is like whoa you totally [TS]

  know what my shows how are you gonna [TS]

  introduce myself because i am this guy [TS]

  from the internet and he's a volunteer [TS]

  there is a really nice guy and one [TS]

  standing there this guy walks up wearing [TS]

  a rock on the line shirt and and I did I [TS]

  just [TS]

  nothing to learn from my friend John [TS]

  Gruber you walk up to the guy gave him a [TS]

  little pat and i said that is a really [TS]

  handsome shirt and it goes all your mom [TS]

  man i'm andy mcmillan the co-founder of [TS]

  XOXO it's like you shitting me exactly [TS]

  what should we go to stop the fighting [TS]

  fires HR no no no he's not like that so [TS]

  much but but he was wearing a runner on [TS]

  the line shirt and I was like guys boner [TS]

  town like oh my god you're totally [TS]

  wearing that shirt that's so cool but [TS]

  and then like I walked in and I swear to [TS]

  god I don't think I got more than 10 or [TS]

  15 paces in in half an hour because I [TS]

  kept seeing so me this is not [TS]

  recognizing Merlin think it's more like [TS]

  oh my god there's like a uh well anyway [TS]

  it doesn't matter who but like a bunch [TS]

  of people that I have not seen in like [TS]

  eight years it was incredible it was so [TS]

  fun [TS]

  yeah and that was that was that was all [TS]

  the time and it has wonderful it was it [TS]

  does get a little overwhelming but like [TS]

  to just walk around it's like all these [TS]

  I don't want to name drop but like just [TS]

  a bunch of people that I had never met [TS]

  before or people i had met or just known [TS]

  on the internet for like 10 or 15 years [TS]

  and that's you know that obviously the [TS]

  programming for this thing is great it's [TS]

  fantastic but it talk about a [TS]

  high-quality crowd i think the phrase I [TS]

  used was it's very extremely low level [TS]

  of ding-a-lings at this thing like it is [TS]

  some really really cool people and I i [TS]

  loved it was I was amazing i had that [TS]

  experience you know where they say of [TS]

  course if you look around the room and [TS]

  you can't figure out who the [TS]

  ding-a-lings are that maybe you're the [TS]

  dingle oh yeah right now I was like am I [TS]

  the dingling oh yeah there's so there [TS]

  are so few dealings here uh that I must [TS]

  be getting old me and it was like and [TS]

  then I kept seeing people who were there [TS]

  that I that I didn't get a chance to [TS]

  meet and awkwardly introduced myself to [TS]

  but like you know the guy who you've [TS]

  heard me talk about the show adventure [TS]

  time the guy who makes it make created [TS]

  adventure time was there always wanted [TS]

  to meet him and ward was like there for [TS]

  the second year in a row it's bananas i [TS]

  meant to meet him last night i meant to [TS]

  meet him this year you know your friend [TS]

  John Gruber studiously avoided meeting [TS]

  me i didn't see john and aimee until I [TS]

  was in the airport and I walked down the [TS]

  terminal the c-terminal flipping the [TS]

  bird at the boats walking down the [TS]

  airport they weren't we had a nice visit [TS]

  business anyway so just enjoy the camper [TS]

  outer Janet's John's to go and camp out [TS]

  and like have people come to him [TS]

  oh and that's not that's not how you [TS]

  roll well that's what I should have done [TS]

  things John Kruk John Gruber deserves [TS]

  that I come to him and all come on no I [TS]

  think I should go I think I should make [TS]

  that approach you know I think I should [TS]

  I should be the one that Walters over [TS]

  while he camps [TS]

  let's let's focus on getting you and [TS]

  John syracuse together that's that's [TS]

  something that needs to really happen [TS]

  well I'm just you know I've I you know I [TS]

  recently ran for office where I was [TS]

  dressed down every day that you were [TS]

  very diverting I didn't know by various [TS]

  constituencies and let you know I like [TS]

  on one hand I have a little bit of a [TS]

  thick skin now but I just feel like John [TS]

  group is going to pick from sorry John [TS]

  siracusa has a very long list of things [TS]

  that he wants to talk to me about [TS]

  well I'm you know I'm worried I'm gonna [TS]

  really get excoriated you know I'm not [TS]

  gonna let the cat out of the bag but we [TS]

  got something special coming [TS]

  oh that's almost say about them what [TS]

  happened at the airport [TS]

  well I'll just close by saying that you [TS]

  know it's it's it's so lame to sit [TS]

  around and talk about something great [TS]

  that happened that other people didn't [TS]

  get to do [TS]

  oh yeah I don't everybody you have no [TS]

  but I just would like to say it was I [TS]

  didn't go to that that that many events [TS]

  i was there mostly for the people and to [TS]

  do the one performance thing i did but [TS]

  it was a it was really great and the [TS]

  people who run that thing really care a [TS]

  lot about every single person having a [TS]

  really good and and safe time there so I [TS]

  just wanted to salute the entire XOXO [TS]

  but in the fullness of time I'd have to [TS]

  fly back to my family which was really [TS]

  keen to do and I'm at the airport so [TS]

  excuse me [TS]

  portland portland thing number two which [TS]

  I mentioned on the tutor you don't see [TS]

  if you're not following me right now I'm [TS]

  not sure why don't follow you did like [TS]

  months ago [TS]

  no but I was at this isn't so thing [TS]

  number two is that I'm in the terminal [TS]

  and he knows of fives player in the sea [TS]

  area there's like a personal place [TS]

  Harper's person plays guitar and doing [TS]

  the sea area there's a guy playing the [TS]

  vibes [TS]

  yeah i'm part of the Seattle music [TS]

  Commission and we have made the SeaTac [TS]

  Airport a safe place for bobs [TS]

  you got a code of conduct so you can't [TS]

  say anything whether your pro or anti [TS]

  vibes whether you believe in God or not [TS]

  believe in god it's a question of you [TS]

  just you're not like stare at somebody's [TS]

  fives are you can start them [TS]

  appreciatively well what about this [TS]

  should've I have a different color [TS]

  lanyard [TS]

  yeah it's gonna say that is that is that [TS]

  a fungus a colored if the vibes have to [TS]

  buy players wearing a red lanyard that [TS]

  means no stare don't photograph the [TS]

  vibes [TS]

  did you enjoy the vibes well I've heard [TS]

  the five player before because i was [TS]

  important about a month ago in the the [TS]

  fellow was also there and it's cool like [TS]

  that guess they volunteer and then they [TS]

  get tips [TS]

  it's pretty cool but it's a lot of a [TS]

  like Nutcracker like don't don't pump [TS]

  but Blanca Blanca do which is like you [TS]

  know it was a perfect thing to plan [TS]

  vibes in an airport and then you hear a [TS]

  little bit of a daughter or Python gob [TS]

  which is one my favorite songs just a [TS]

  joy of man's desiring and this goes on [TS]

  and he plays a lot of classics and a lot [TS]

  of kind of swing and jazz stuff [TS]

  sure and then I'm sitting there sitting [TS]

  there in here see don't intent intent on [TS]

  down and then no no they're not Donna [TS]

  he's playing needle in the hay migration [TS]

  really exquisite a perfect [TS]

  dolorous probably you know what's so [TS]

  great about that song that song as quiet [TS]

  as is it's so intense and so like it's [TS]

  more intense than a lot of metal songs [TS]

  just in that 44 like stroke on that song [TS]

  and I was like I'm hearing this am I [TS]

  having a stroke he was totally playing [TS]

  needle in a hay like how many airports [TS]

  gonna go to where somebody please [TS]

  Annalise missing on vibes only one and I [TS]

  when I went and I gave my five and I [TS]

  said thank you very much for Gary's [TS]

  girls it turns out turns out somebody [TS]

  told me he played at the premiere of [TS]

  heaven adores you the the pretty good [TS]

  elliott smith movie and with it wasn't a [TS]

  dry eye in the house [TS]

  that's my second Portland experience was [TS]

  pretty great [TS]

  so the vibes uh so I i know of vibes [TS]

  player here in Seattle uh actually our [TS]

  good friend who has never listen to the [TS]

  show Shawn Nelson data trip for a while [TS]

  she was a she's a spectacular vibe [TS]

  parents never listen to show at all [TS]

  I can't imagine that you'd think he'd at [TS]

  least as you have an internet listens [TS]

  for references to him I don't think he [TS]

  does have an intern I think I would know [TS]

  he's never mentioned he's never [TS]

  mentioned the not not crediting him for [TS]

  all the great shows it may be that he [TS]

  it's hard to know hard to plumb the [TS]

  depths of Shawn Nelson he may listen to [TS]

  every episode and I just never it's [TS]

  never come up and just sit in a sit-in a [TS]

  wingback chair clenching his fists and [TS]

  wingback totes cable and and chewing [TS]

  knowing on the energy and I was pipe is [TS]

  meerschaum pipe but no I don't think [TS]

  that he I don't think that he could [TS]

  stand to listen to you and me talk like [TS]

  we do but he didn't listen to two of [TS]

  your ex-girlfriends have a show you like [TS]

  you know what that's not for me [TS]

  yeah that's not for me that's for others [TS]

  rather people but i did i ever tell you [TS]

  about my dad's vibes I wanna hear about [TS]

  your dad i also want to also attend my [TS]

  wife my story number one about whatever [TS]

  i don't know let's go back to snows [TS]

  really it's really fast and groupers I [TS]

  don't want to do about it because it's [TS]

  creepy but um I went to the security [TS]

  line I can't say I i like the portland [TS]

  airport that's pretty good story pretty [TS]

  good ass airport [TS]

  sometimes the TSA people they're super [TS]

  nice and super helpful there's sometimes [TS]

  a little too performing for my liking [TS]

  mm and it's one of the airport is the is [TS]

  like the Burbank Airport it so according [TS]

  to something i heard announced over the [TS]

  PA it was some kind of a phony-baloney [TS]

  award a as an airport for my best [TS]

  airport for travel and leisure this is [TS]

  another thing i learned being on the [TS]

  Seattle music Commission airports have [TS]

  their own not i think there are multiple [TS]

  airport awards so sure and and awarding [TS]

  organizations like who's real who's who [TS]

  among american high school students [TS]

  really are great for get you to buy the [TS]

  book got legends yoga nominated for [TS]

  who's one of those elements that was [TS]

  your lights down the dollar book that's [TS]

  it my that's in my bathroom library the [TS]

  zoo American high school students 1978 [TS]

  anyway I felt it up too much but it was [TS]

  just funny because i was in the line and [TS]

  there's this one super loud woman I [TS]

  think consider yourself extremely funny [TS]

  sth goes good one and she's cracking [TS]

  wise and she's like talking to people [TS]

  and many fun [TS]

  sure and i'm getting in the line and I [TS]

  hear Carrie Brownstein Kerri Browns day [TS]

  whoa and I turn and I see this wisp of a [TS]

  woodland creature with a roller bag like [TS]

  sprinting toward the screaming woman [TS]

  taking a card out of her hand sink thank [TS]

  you very much and then so basically [TS]

  Carrie Brownstein had gone through tsa [TS]

  pre and had left her driver's license [TS]

  and this woman in Portland with somebody [TS]

  who I have to guess it's kind of a [TS]

  private cris start screaming Gary Brad [TS]

  they are young and so the woodland [TS]

  creature called oh my god she is so cute [TS]

  she would fit in a vest pocket she is [TS]

  she I personalized or I love later Kenny [TS]

  i love i love Portlandia I just think [TS]

  she's amazing and she's tearing ass to [TS]

  get somewhere far away from where this [TS]

  happened to you and the woman you're [TS]

  killing Carrie Brad stain someone says [TS]

  to her she was oh I didn't know oh of [TS]

  course as you can imagine like half of [TS]

  the people in line like strain their [TS]

  next to turn right like right i mean so [TS]

  I talked about a sighting [TS]

  I mean if you're in portland want to see [TS]

  Carrie Brownstein walking around it's [TS]

  exactly what you want to see you look [TS]

  nice she looks really nice [TS]

  that's the second because I I knew that [TS]

  she was there because turns turns out [TS]

  turns out during XOXO festival uh the [TS]

  internets Jesse thorn and Jordan Morris [TS]

  of maximum fun of the the Jordan Jesse [TS]

  sure they call it Jordan Jesse show the [TS]

  just Jordan Jesse go go show jordan and [TS]

  Jesse go [TS]

  they were playing a show of their own [TS]

  podcast in portland that same time that [TS]

  we were there Alan was she guessed well [TS]

  I don't can't imagine I don't know who [TS]

  nose but I said that seems funny that [TS]

  they were in portland at the same time [TS]

  so i texted Jesse thorn I was like [TS]

  really important he was like yes I am I [TS]

  my flight has been delayed and i was now [TS]

  i'm sitting at powell's books or [TS]

  something like that and I said well I'm [TS]

  not going to come over there to see you [TS]

  if you didn't make any attempt to come [TS]

  see me over but you should put all that [TS]

  in a pamphlet some point just as I [TS]

  thought yeah I said but go screw [TS]

  yourself and also up your nose with a [TS]

  rubber hose and he said well yeah that's [TS]

  right and I said I you know I'm sitting [TS]

  with some internet people who are fairly [TS]

  prominent on the internet one of them [TS]

  even has a pink iphone that I'm not [TS]

  allowed to touch and Jesse thorn wrote [TS]

  back and said last night I was hanging [TS]

  out with carrie brownstein I i I'd like [TS]

  to see some documentation of the house [TS]

  that's exactly right i don't know [TS]

  whether he was in the same theater area [TS]

  of town with her whether they were [TS]

  hanging out I don't know [TS]

  mm I think he was hanging out with her [TS]

  very much the same way that I was [TS]

  hanging out with which we happened to be [TS]

  in the same building [TS]

  I don't know you know he's a he's a he's [TS]

  a you know it's kind of a big deal so [TS]

  anyway that's why I was my portland [TS]

  story and and she seemed nice [TS]

  every every impression I have of her is [TS]

  that she's very nice [TS]

  I there's a big guy interview with her a [TS]

  few weeks ago maybe a couple months now [TS]

  and I don't know she just she's very [TS]

  thoughtful [TS]

  yeah um yeah yeah yep smart and nice you [TS]

  know it's it's a it's it's good to be [TS]

  successful that's another thing that [TS]

  that you know you don't have to [TS]

  some people get successful and then [TS]

  there then they turn into monsters [TS]

  because they were always monsters [TS]

  yeah it's always just inside all of this [TS]

  John that's right but sometimes you get [TS]

  to be successful and then you get to be [TS]

  really nice because now you are able to [TS]

  be nice [TS]

  you don't have to be mean because you're [TS]

  successful um just you can just wear it [TS]

  with grace [TS]

  it seems like she's in that count yeah [TS]

  I'm kind of don't be surprised by [TS]

  pleased to hear that how comfortable you [TS]

  are spending time on purpose with [TS]

  internet people [TS]

  you seem like you really come a long way [TS]

  with that I have well I realized at a [TS]

  certain points [TS]

  I don't know when but I realized that I [TS]

  was sort of an Internet person i guess [TS]

  people recognize me from the internet [TS]

  yes of among other places I can't read I [TS]

  can't fight it anymore i'm still not [TS]

  allowed to touch the pink iphone but I [TS]

  can sit around and talk about i mean [TS]

  like for instance Marco sat next to me [TS]

  and told me about his microphone [TS]

  reviewing oh yeah he did a long set [TS]

  series of reviews about microphones and [TS]

  he did one on headphones and now he's [TS]

  done one on microphones with a with a [TS]

  bent toward helping podcasters who [TS]

  famously don't know anything about how [TS]

  things sound not to to get better at [TS]

  choosing like it very opinionated but I [TS]

  thought extremely useful and I've been [TS]

  in the I've been in the pro audio [TS]

  circles for many years and have a be [TS]

  tested some very expensive microphones [TS]

  some microphones that even the top [TS]

  podcasters would never get their grubby [TS]

  little hands near her microphones that [TS]

  even Marc Maron couldn't have in his [TS]

  even eat just a large marin even even [TS]

  the guy that used to be the second [TS]

  banana on the late night talk show host [TS]

  where the shattering show champion [TS]

  jumping on trampolines and bikinis who [TS]

  even that ding-a-ling can't get it can't [TS]

  get the mic [TS]

  these are microphones these are these [TS]

  are top should these are microphones [TS]

  that costs more than a car hope's [TS]

  diamonds of microphones these are [TS]

  microphones built in pre-war Germany [TS]

  oh man there are mics these are the [TS]

  v-star that's exactly what they call [TS]

  them they bring us i'm on my mark likes [TS]

  these are the microphones that were [TS]

  manufactured in Japan after the war to [TS]

  be better than every other thing you [TS]

  know Japan went through a long period [TS]

  there where everything they made they [TS]

  tried to make better than every other [TS]

  thing and smaller and some of the well [TS]

  these microphones are not smaller that's [TS]

  one thing that they didn't get right [TS]

  they made these microphones enormous i [TS]

  have a baby those microphones and so I [TS]

  was able to sit and talk to Marco about [TS]

  microphones where I was coming from some [TS]

  place of you know fair loves coming in [TS]

  from a knowledgeable place and then I [TS]

  said give me your opinion of my tone [TS]

  Marco and he was uncomfortable he thinks [TS]

  the sm7b is problematic because it takes [TS]

  so much to drive it that you have noise [TS]

  with it i still never heard the noise i [TS]

  don't know what that noise is that he's [TS]

  talking about he said two things one me [TS]

  he has a he his noise floor he has a he [TS]

  has a different standard of noise floor [TS]

  he likes he likes it he likes the [TS]

  background to be completely dark and [TS]

  that we have a little too much noise for [TS]

  his taste but what about the coughing no [TS]

  he wonder you at some somehow he didn't [TS]

  believe that my whole that what Mike off [TS]

  button was was just to turn the mic 90 [TS]

  degrees ago and then turn it back on [TS]

  this episode of Roderick on the line is [TS]

  brought to you in part by Squarespace [TS]

  you can learn more about Squarespace [TS]

  right now by pointing your web browser [TS]

  at as many of you know [TS]

  I've been a huge fan and evangelists a [TS]

  square space for many years now it's not [TS]

  only the place that I use for hosting [TS]

  many of my own sites and yes my own [TS]

  podcasts it's also the first place i [TS]

  recommend for anyone wanting to do the [TS]

  same [TS]

  Squarespace sites are professionally [TS]

  designed masterpieces they look great [TS]

  right out of the box regardless of your [TS]

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  of getting your stuff up [TS]

  Squarespace has state-of-the-art [TS]

  technology powering your site that [TS]

  ensure security and stability even if [TS]

  you get a link from Roderick on the line [TS]

  Squarespace is stressed by million [TS]

  the people and some of the most [TS]

  respected brands in the world the nutty [TS]

  part is that Squarespace plans start at [TS]

  a very affordable eight dollars per [TS]

  month and that price even includes a [TS]

  free domain name if you sign up for a [TS]

  year but you should totally do please [TS]

  check Squarespace out and tell your [TS]

  friends about it you can start your free [TS]

  trial site today with no credit card [TS]

  required by visiting and [TS]

  when you're ready to buy make sure to [TS]

  use that very special offer code [TS]

  supertrain and you will get ten percent [TS]

  off your first purchase our thanks to [TS]

  squarespace for supporting rod on the [TS]

  line and all the great shows [TS]

  Squarespace build it beautiful but then [TS]

  the other thing he said was that he was [TS]

  going to talk to you about rolling some [TS]

  of the base off and that's a good idea [TS]

  of me that maybe there's just a little [TS]

  too much bass yeah yeah I i can do that [TS]

  it's in GarageBand I don't think he even [TS]

  has a copy of GarageBand probably yeah I [TS]

  feel like and for me I feel like that [TS]

  base is part of the appeal for some [TS]

  people that that the the way why my [TS]

  voice kind of reverberates not just in [TS]

  their ear bones but down in their pelvic [TS]

  bones i'm sure that's part of the reason [TS]

  he was house huh and what they took off [TS]

  the base and your voice might stop at [TS]

  their abdomen and that's not far enough [TS]

  you know I don't ever be just an idea up [TS]

  here [TS]

  yeah that's me yeah that's your that's [TS]

  what I got this district that's your [TS]

  domain automobile automobile counterfeit [TS]

  money machine [TS]

  oh hello hello America and all the ships [TS]

  at sea [TS]

  let's go press M times Goodwin get you [TS]

  gonna go into my sinuses are message on [TS]

  I have a lot of sinus problems right now [TS]

  well you were travelling travelling [TS]

  anything is between going to places with [TS]

  air conditioning which I don't have [TS]

  and I'm not around and being being in [TS]

  the fart tube the far too will really [TS]

  dry you out so i got a lot of typography [TS]

  happening right now what's amazing about [TS]

  these tech conferences is that they are [TS]

  basically they they're basically a [TS]

  events where an entire group of people [TS]

  that just by definition do not travel or [TS]

  do not know how to travel or do not like [TS]

  traveling or going out [TS]

  travel but but the unifying [TS]

  characteristic is that they do not [TS]

  travel well are all asked to gather in a [TS]

  faraway place like everybody there was [TS]

  like oh you know nobody knows how to [TS]

  pack music is being around people [TS]

  veterans of World War two [TS]

  they're more likely to get on a plane [TS]

  and some of these folks in the early [TS]

  twenties [TS]

  yeah yeah that's right and you can just [TS]

  you can see it in their body language [TS]

  they're just like now I'm standing in a [TS]

  big field and surrounded by people and [TS]

  there's no corner I can back into the I [TS]

  don't have my special chair but still [TS]

  everyone overcomes it and I'm sorry to [TS]

  hear that you have sinus problem i'll be [TS]

  alright [TS]

  ok it was good as alaska airlines which [TS]

  is a great airline I i was able to [TS]

  upgrade from my seat in the back of the [TS]

  fork tube into a seat like a row six [TS]

  seat for sixteen dollars American mm [TS]

  laughs does that you can upgrade used to [TS]

  be time was you could upgrade to first [TS]

  for like fifty bucks yeah now I don't [TS]

  you can fly a lot but you fly first [TS]

  class most places and that's that's that [TS]

  starts around twelve hundred dollars [TS]

  yeah i'll ask you used to have used to [TS]

  have a lock on good times and as you [TS]

  know sitting in the front of the plane [TS]

  that means everyone else on the plane is [TS]

  behind your fart orifice right let's go [TS]

  backward [TS]

  maybe you could license your shot glass [TS]

  idea to the airline's em it could be [TS]

  something like you know what version you [TS]

  get the red you say oh I want some pop [TS]

  chips and I want that weird salami box [TS]

  and also give me fuck that give me a [TS]

  shot glass like a fart in i'm wondering [TS]

  whether at the back of a plane where all [TS]

  of you know all of the farts are killer [TS]

  accumulating and now presumably [TS]

  condenser that if you think about the [TS]

  physics and the movement of the plane [TS]

  that would be entirely natural and that [TS]

  usually maybe the planes at a slight [TS]

  incline it just makes total all the [TS]

  parts are gonna go to the back of the [TS]

  plane reservations buttressed by the [TS]

  fact that people are route literally [TS]

  ruining that bathroom every couple [TS]

  minutes back there [TS]

  hello but trust ya but rest it creates a [TS]

  day and physical parts inc [TS]

  so here's my question to you right if we [TS]

  understand that farts are actually do [TS]

  have [TS]

  up an element of particulates room to [TS]

  get a valence and they gotta wait so how [TS]

  many farts before you could actually [TS]

  condense them down to something with [TS]

  like two product like to make like a [TS]

  puck comical how farts would you have to [TS]

  accumulate and condensed before you [TS]

  could make a puck and then what would [TS]

  that puck be good for that's ever that's [TS]

  a really good question i think the most [TS]

  difficult part I think getting farts [TS]

  first we're getting far it's not a [TS]

  problem but then gathering them is the [TS]

  secondary problem the primary problem is [TS]

  how do you remove things like dander [TS]

  from from from the fart collector would [TS]

  you have a filtering unit right now iím [TS]

  what it look like i don't know i think [TS]

  it would be a kind of viscous light [TS]

  brown not an orb exactly but like an [TS]

  undulating egg shape [TS]

  oh who it is because you're gonna say [TS]

  that it has i see I always imagined that [TS]

  it was like yeah what would get you [TS]

  distill it down and it would be kind of [TS]

  like a brick but you're saying you know [TS]

  you're saying it's like a like like [TS]

  water in zero gravity [TS]

  like imagine a like a like a up a bit of [TS]

  mercury that you could hold easily in [TS]

  the palm of your hand except it's made [TS]

  out of farts [TS]

  mm I don't you want to hold it in your [TS]

  hand we need to the right containment [TS]

  facility for that [TS]

  see I think about this a lot because [TS]

  this is sort of an adjunct of supertrain [TS]

  thinking that's called supertrain [TS]

  thinking supertrain to point out who [TS]

  where let's say you have a sports [TS]

  stadium now that the fashion in sports [TS]

  stadiums now is to is to destroy the [TS]

  multimillion-dollar covered sports [TS]

  stadium that your town built in the [TS]

  seventies and eighties to wreck it and [TS]

  rebuild a sports stadium that is open to [TS]

  the air [TS]

  yeah that looks old that looks old [TS]

  old-timey you're right we did that here [TS]

  in Seattle we had a perfectly fine [TS]

  cement-like bunker that we tore down and [TS]

  built to fake old open stadiums to [TS]

  replace it but back when you had a back [TS]

  we had a concrete domed sports stadium [TS]

  where you had climate control [TS]

  oh right how much like human moisture [TS]

  could you and did they process and what [TS]

  did it ultimately like why we not [TS]

  collecting that and studying it like all [TS]

  of the all of the moisture-laden breadth [TS]

  of 50,000 sports fan that got all those [TS]

  wet mouth [TS]

  exhaling yeah and that and all that wet [TS]

  air was sucked into some duct somewhere [TS]

  and taken down to a basement room where [TS]

  was condensed into what can I can only [TS]

  imagine is like buckets and buckets of [TS]

  like everyone's hopes and fear [TS]

  yes and then and then in memories [TS]

  because you're creating memories when [TS]

  you're with your family watching sports [TS]

  you're creating memories so like like an [TS]

  old man's shirt there should certainly [TS]

  be a way to to mind that to liberate the [TS]

  memories and the moisture in some kind [TS]

  of a containment facility also for [TS]

  anyone who's having trouble imagining [TS]

  this for thinking it's some kind of [TS]

  sci-fi thing have you ever had a huge HD [TS]

  humidifier in your house [TS]

  hello I can say I've had a dehumidifier [TS]

  my house and the EU bring this big thing [TS]

  that used to be the size of a file [TS]

  cabinet you bring your house a big coil [TS]

  on the back and it would take the [TS]

  moisture out of the air and then you [TS]

  know what happened it would drip off the [TS]

  little coils into a bucket [TS]

  me after like a week of that or even a [TS]

  couple days of that you cannot even [TS]

  believe how much moisture is being [TS]

  pulled and let me ask you this you're [TS]

  walking around your home are you [TS]

  noticing are you feeling moisture it's a [TS]

  little muggy in here but you would never [TS]

  guess that you could make a bucket just [TS]

  imagine if you do that with hearts and [TS]

  memories if you pulled all the parts in [TS]

  memory first of all if you did it start [TS]

  for stadium all those parts of memories [TS]

  probably are four percent alcohol right [TS]

  right and uh you know it seems to boil [TS]

  off the water superset memories it and [TS]

  it's the ppm the ppm level got 50,000 [TS]

  people in there you probably got it [TS]

  basically a dumpster of wet dumpster wet [TS]

  member its of what memories and fears [TS]

  right and what you just dump them into [TS]

  the bay by that really seems like a [TS]

  waste because if we learn anything from [TS]

  if we learned anything from fury road is [TS]

  that something you're going to [TS]

  that water and you might even want the [TS]

  memories if you absolutely want the [TS]

  memories that is our patrimony right [TS]

  that's like oh absolutely nobody reads [TS]

  anymore John you know exactly you buy [TS]

  you buy well yeah you buy garlic fries [TS]

  you get garlic fries you get a hat you [TS]

  get me get Shero but like you know how I [TS]

  if you are going to remember that we [TS]

  probably won't remember that but because [TS]

  again [TS]

  see also alcohol right but i'm thinking [TS]

  you could get three-and-a-half ounces of [TS]

  memories out of most sporting events [TS]

  especially if it's baseball because [TS]

  people have lots of memories about [TS]

  baseball what are you talking about [TS]

  three-and-a-half ounces per person [TS]

  HT guy by volume our way up well they're [TS]

  right right so we should really go to [TS]

  the metric system speaking is that's [TS]

  true so we should have a long time [TS]

  without you're like the only country [TS]

  that doesn't do you know what I tried I [TS]

  made I did my part in the seventies it's [TS]

  so hard to be the only person doing [TS]

  something you're just sitting there like [TS]

  I'm a little kid you've already tried to [TS]

  you know you've already tried to like [TS]

  change the world through little kids and [TS]

  you Americans love to love 22 to John so [TS]

  many more security filmstrips so many [TS]

  filmstrips about the metric system [TS]

  oh just forcing the kids and the kids [TS]

  were like were there were ready 60km can [TS]

  I please have to have nine centimeters [TS]

  of red vines [TS]

  yeah i would like to have one and a half [TS]

  grams of of protein powder 7 750 [TS]

  milliliters of liquor [TS]

  please and thank you and then the adults [TS]

  who were in charge you know what [TS]

  happened we elected Reagan President and [TS]

  the and reagan was elected president on [TS]

  a platform of no metric system you know [TS]

  what good luck trying to get Ronald [TS]

  Reagan to even understand the mattress [TS]

  he's probably when the suckers that's [TS]

  constantly in the mental calculations [TS]

  that's the wrong way to do the metric [TS]

  system Reagan was using Imperial weights [TS]

  is using you know the Scottish like x el [TS]

  tio NE tom is today's yeah Tony's if [TS]

  anything over 50 mega tone a bomb yeah [TS]

  anyway you know and like he was [TS]

  measuring distance in furlongs yeah you [TS]

  know forget it [TS]

  so we we missed our opportunity how [TS]

  Ted's now that's right how many many [TS]

  hogsheads and barrels of memories is it [TS]

  going to take to get one aircraft [TS]

  carrier that's those are the questions [TS]

  he was asking and now we're anachronism [TS]

  but we're the ones that are you know [TS]

  we're the ones that are going to that [TS]

  are building a manned mission to Mars [TS]

  huh [TS]

  so we're going to take inches and feet [TS]

  to Mars and not going to be so confused [TS]

  up there you imagine that can measure in [TS]

  the Gracie that we're still using that [TS]

  nonsense i mean i will be talking about [TS]

  like you know cubits and you get there [TS]

  I mean but the problem is that they're [TS]

  measuring everything according to atomic [TS]

  clocks who of their own device imagine a [TS]

  lot of what we do seems pretty quick to [TS]

  the grace so quaint because it's all [TS]

  right there it's all written in the in [TS]

  the fabric of the universe like it's [TS]

  there's not the metric system isn't any [TS]

  I mean I guess it is it's a little bit [TS]

  more tied to the fabric of the universe [TS]

  question and it's not just the distance [TS]

  do you hear elbow and your middle finger [TS]

  it's a little bit more gonna get the [TS]

  memories though the memories part of [TS]

  what would make the think it depends on [TS]

  what you're going to use the memories [TS]

  for the water obviously one has been [TS]

  purified can be used for lots of [TS]

  different things but part of what makes [TS]

  the memory special is that they are [TS]

  unique or at least differentiated is [TS]

  should we make any attempt to keep them [TS]

  in in silence by different type of [TS]

  memory by age of memory the accuracy of [TS]

  memory or does it just become part of [TS]

  the same large emotional slurry know [TS]

  their whole usefulness is it is it in [TS]

  the ability to cross-reference them [TS]

  right so if you're having if you're if [TS]

  you want to if you want to access you [TS]

  know somebody's memory bad memory of a [TS]

  clown at a birthday party [TS]

  yeah you know you can come out that what [TS]

  will get 13 cut to the 23 of those a [TS]

  typical baseball game absolutely oh my [TS]

  god i have one [TS]

  yeah right i would say i would i would [TS]

  estimate there were 500 bad clown [TS]

  memories at any at any birthday [TS]

  I'm sorry any baseball game at 500 bad [TS]

  clown memory cloud memories that that [TS]

  rise up to level like that's a bad [TS]

  memory [TS]

  and I don't like like that's a bad club [TS]

  right but you need to be able to get to [TS]

  that by obviously you're going to you [TS]

  want to search bad clowns but you're [TS]

  also going to want to search bad [TS]

  memories childhood memories you know [TS]

  traumatic events right now is the circus [TS]

  related memories [TS]

  yep yeah and then you you're saying it's [TS]

  a cross-reference there's there's like a [TS]

  kalica implicit database that combines [TS]

  all all the different clan member don't [TS]

  have to be this is this is the promise [TS]

  of the internet that we keep failing to [TS]

  realize [TS]

  realize [TS]

  yeah like it's all its supposed to be [TS]

  all there and and I'm i continue to be [TS]

  astonished at how poorly so many people [TS]

  search the internet it seems to me that [TS]

  most things i want to find it takes two [TS]

  or three stabs at most to figure out the [TS]

  magic combination of words right that's [TS]

  going to get the thing I'm looking for [TS]

  in the top three search results and I [TS]

  think I know why it's not because you [TS]

  don't know what you're looking well it [TS]

  may be partly you don't know what you're [TS]

  looking for I think it mainly is that [TS]

  the first search you do on something is [TS]

  where you learn how the computer thinks [TS]

  about that's exactly right [TS]

  what words is the computer thinking who [TS]

  because I you know I ask questions of [TS]

  the computer in full sentences like you [TS]

  do [TS]

  that's adorable yes you would say what [TS]

  is the weight in grams of an average [TS]

  clown bad clown memory [TS]

  absolutely i would type that in and then [TS]

  I would you know the first set of search [TS]

  results would be all like vape pens [TS]

  uh-huh and I'd be like what is this [TS]

  about why am i getting vape pen results [TS]

  oh right [TS]

  grams and clowns gram grams and clowns [TS]

  sent me right to some juggalo drug [TS]

  dealer sites and I was like fuck right [TS]

  okay modified search you know and then [TS]

  he he come at a different way like I'm [TS]

  not actually it the salient point is not [TS]

  the clown memories [TS]

  specifically I want to get at this [TS]

  through the memory like the weight of [TS]

  memories for some reason and now I can't [TS]

  stop thinking it was really creepy clown [TS]

  vaping and just got like five times of [TS]

  course right now your hands on a break [TS]

  is he's not break sitting out back with [TS]

  his head and then go like magnets how do [TS]

  they work [TS]

  i'm so baked so yeah but you know I try [TS]

  to ask full sentences the computer [TS]

  because I understand that the computer [TS]

  is learning and you know if you want to [TS]

  learn like good grammar and punctuation [TS]

  that's right i wanted to learn to be [TS]

  able to answer my question so the other [TS]

  day [TS]

  out so I had a nice experience in [TS]

  portland i decided that i was going to [TS]

  go up to the Alberta neighborhood which [TS]

  i have watched evolved over that my 25 [TS]

  years of going to portland from a street [TS]

  that had nothing of interest on it to a [TS]

  street that was you know being [TS]

  rehabilitated and colonized and now it's [TS]

  a street where there are bars and their [TS]

  artisanal ice cream places and there are [TS]

  places where they make handbags out of [TS]

  sales and there are places where they [TS]

  sell space pens and little books of [TS]

  waterproof matches all a quadruple the [TS]

  price of what they should be places [TS]

  where that's all locally sourced it's [TS]

  all locally sourced people places where [TS]

  there was a there's a store where they [TS]

  were selling simple lighters that were [TS]

  carved out of wood which seemed to me to [TS]

  be [TS]

  haha that's a terrible and the wooden [TS]

  lighter [TS]

  yep ok dash wax and all this all the [TS]

  above that's the hitch wax cases [TS]

  mustache wax cases carrying look Karen [TS]

  that mustache wax case box bags [TS]

  yeah and then a lot of things that that [TS]

  that like Seattle can't do this anymore [TS]

  and San Francisco can't either which is [TS]

  that there used to be a whole sub [TS]

  economy for people who wanted to spend [TS]

  all their time in thrift stores and they [TS]

  could go pick stuff out of three stores [TS]

  and then they could sell it for [TS]

  instead of for two dollars they could [TS]

  sell it for twenty dollars and open a [TS]

  little store and just sell their vintage [TS]

  stuff that they curated well now that a [TS]

  typical storefront in San Francisco is [TS]

  seventy thousand dollars a month and a [TS]

  typical storefront in seattle is [TS]

  seventeen thousand dollars a month you [TS]

  can't have a store like that anywhere [TS]

  but in portland you still can [TS]

  you can still go pick up other people's [TS]

  garbage Spaniard you know weekends at [TS]

  garage sales and thence not even clean [TS]

  it but just arrange an artfully in a [TS]

  storefront on a cool street and sell it [TS]

  for you know for thirty bucks instead of [TS]

  13 and so there's still enough of those [TS]

  that i was kind of one [TS]

  around it and you know and I they make [TS]

  me mad because they are all curated by [TS]

  someone else and so their aesthetic is [TS]

  always wrong huh [TS]

  and the ship that they choose them that [TS]

  they think is cool is not cool and then [TS]

  I think I should have a store it would [TS]

  be the coolest or the world and then I [TS]

  start that I'm daydreaming and then I'm [TS]

  imagining myself working at a store and [TS]

  then I'm super depressed because I [TS]

  realized that anytime you open a [TS]

  business you're just giving yourself a [TS]

  bad job you want to do it you wouldn't [TS]

  take that as a job in somebody else's [TS]

  store know why would you want to do it [TS]

  on your own every friend that I've ever [TS]

  had that's like I'm gonna open a cafe [TS]

  I'm like really do you like working in a [TS]

  cafe and they're like well no that's why [TS]

  I'm gonna open one and I'm like well [TS]

  you're giving yourself an 18 hour a day [TS]

  job at a cafe the fact that you're the [TS]

  owner doesn't change the fact that [TS]

  you're working you're going to there [TS]

  more than anybody else that you you are [TS]

  the person that has to has to work there [TS]

  anytime anybody else is sick but also a [TS]

  normal shift every day and also at the [TS]

  end of the day when it's not profitable [TS]

  you are the one that cries so do not [TS]

  open a business unless that is the best [TS]

  job you ever had anything it shaking and [TS]

  crying crying and vaping if that but so [TS]

  I walk into one of these stories and I'm [TS]

  looking around I'm like only got a bunch [TS]

  of woolrich shirts and a bunch of you [TS]

  know like timber land shoes that are all [TS]

  pre-owned timberland shoes [TS]

  come on those should go right in you [TS]

  know the big the big but the the [TS]

  technology now in in garbages to shred [TS]

  the there's big have you seen those big [TS]

  shredders real and washing machine into [TS]

  it is not a shredder like a paper [TS]

  shredder but it's almost like a toy [TS]

  story 3 you make it into the benefits of [TS]

  stuff they're like the size of it done [TS]

  yeah right next is that you can just [TS]

  throw you could throw you could throw a [TS]

  Chrysler Imperial into it and it just [TS]

  the shredder just just reduces it down [TS]

  to confetti and that's where all used [TS]

  timberland shoes should go i mean new [TS]

  timberland shoes it's fine you getting [TS]

  me anywhere that's fine but it once [TS]

  they're used right into the shredder and [TS]

  they should become a park bench [TS]

  or some tarmac like that's what that [TS]

  stuff is good for it there's not [TS]

  something you should buy use so I'm [TS]

  walking around the store and sneering at [TS]

  it and then in the bag i see are a rack [TS]

  of men's clothes where I see some [TS]

  Pendleton shirts and I'm thinking about [TS]

  Pendleton's because I just seen you [TS]

  let's go see if there's any Pendleton [TS]

  insurance for Merlin here I flip through [TS]

  you know Pendleton there are a lot of [TS]

  different kinds of pedals you i bought a [TS]

  panel tonight like from like 15 feet [TS]

  away the other day might look you don't [TS]

  get a windows all the penalties twenty [TS]

  percent off as i can tell just by [TS]

  looking it didn't have the name on it [TS]

  yeah I could see a Pendleton shirt from [TS]

  a hundred and fifty yards away so I [TS]

  could see a movie I can see a penalty [TS]

  charge moving in a car on a guy that [TS]

  also has a jacket on [TS]

  I could tell you probably within 10 [TS]

  years of of what of its era someday [TS]

  you're gonna find the perfect job I [TS]

  really someday my you know what I should [TS]

  just be uploaded to the board and then [TS]

  all of the knowledge I've acquired a [TS]

  would find they would absolutely find a [TS]

  use for your disparate but related [TS]

  skills [TS]

  hmm what would that be nice anyway my [TS]

  dad alberta so I'm flipping through [TS]

  these shirts and alberta looking at him [TS]

  and I'm like me [TS]

  no no no I've got an idea of the [TS]

  Pendleton shirts that I'm gonna get for [TS]

  you and these were not them and then I [TS]

  see this fabric at the end of the racket [TS]

  like what is well hello what is that and [TS]

  i go and i find this suit and it is a [TS]

  very very curious suit it's the one suit [TS]

  in the entire store the one men's suit [TS]

  and I'm thinking what is this day what [TS]

  is this doing here and be like how did [TS]

  this survive here and I take it and I [TS]

  take immediately grab it and take it and [TS]

  try it on and it fits me perfectly and [TS]

  now I'm trying to I'm trying to discern [TS]

  their note no visible tags I'm trying to [TS]

  discern the suits the symptom him I'm [TS]

  suit whispering to it rubbing my hands [TS]

  on and I wanted to tell me its stories [TS]

  what are your stories what are your [TS]

  storage suit is not telling me any [TS]

  stories i come out and and my friend [TS]

  that I'm walking around with looking at [TS]

  stuff looks at the suit and she says [TS]

  it's an 80 suits and I said I think I [TS]

  mean I know why you think it's an 80 [TS]

  suit but the suits in the eighties it's [TS]

  a kind of speckled wool suits in the [TS]

  eighties were imitating a kind of [TS]

  forties fifties suit and i think this is [TS]

  one of those oh and she said now can't [TS]

  be it's too nice its to its and two good [TS]

  condition i was like i know but i but I [TS]

  feel like there is but there's enough [TS]

  about this its vibing me it's [TS]

  reverberating that it's real truth lies [TS]

  many decades ago and so i take this soon [TS]

  i bring it home and fondling and I'm [TS]

  some fucking with that I'm trying to [TS]

  figure it out and I find sewn in the [TS]

  pocket of one of those like unionmade [TS]

  labels and I say there's gotta be a code [TS]

  and i know there is but I've never taken [TS]

  the time to figure out what the codes [TS]

  are but I now I'm now I'm ready since [TS]

  there's no other identifying marks on [TS]

  the suit i'm ready to figure out I'm [TS]

  ready to figure out the code of this [TS]

  union label and so I go to the computer [TS]

  machine and I asked some questions in [TS]

  full sentences over and very quickly i [TS]

  am at as you can imagine a specialist [TS]

  site where nerds haberdashers basically [TS]

  like any group of any group of nerds who [TS]

  have decided that they are interested in [TS]

  fashion which I which I believe it a [TS]

  group of those are called a fedora [TS]

  anytime you see a fedora of nerds you [TS]

  know that they're probably sitting [TS]

  around talking about their either all [TS]

  wearing dusters [TS]

  yeah or a you know or there were there [TS]

  twirling their their handlebar mustaches [TS]

  but so a fedora of nerds had been made a [TS]

  website and it had all of the Union [TS]

  labels that have never been so [TS]

  second item of clothing and the chart [TS]

  that's what you're looking for and I was [TS]

  looking for and how to date things by [TS]

  tiny little variations in these labels [TS]

  like in 1948 the label changed but that [TS]

  in 1961 that exact same label they added [TS]

  a tiny little registered trademark [TS]

  symbol down in the corner so if it has [TS]

  the registered trademark symbol you know [TS]

  it was manufactured after 1961 but if it [TS]

  doesn't you know it was made between 48 [TS]

  and 61 and that is what was true of this [TS]

  suit and i was i was absolutely right it [TS]

  was a it was a an old but somehow you [TS]

  know meticulously cared for speckled [TS]

  wool black suit that i got for thirty [TS]

  bucks 35 bucks that's amazing up on [TS]

  alberta and now what am I supposed to do [TS]

  with that now here I am I got another [TS]

  great thing [TS]

  the world doesn't care everybody else is [TS]

  wearing yoga pants and their their [TS]

  parting shot glasses and not even paying [TS]

  me my royal oh no oh boy oh so in the [TS]

  end maybe you were actually more curious [TS]

  about the provenance then having it as [TS]

  menswear the thing is that I I feel like [TS]

  I rescued that suit from that dumb store [TS]

  full of used timberland boots and [TS]

  woolrich jackets huh i found this thing [TS]

  that was like a surprise a little prize [TS]

  egg that was it was like a fabergé egg [TS]

  that was in a store called eggs and such [TS]

  and the people that own that were like [TS]

  look a pretty egg we'll put it in our [TS]

  eggs and such store and it's like no [TS]

  fuck you this is a real thing [TS]

  this doesn't belong here with you and [TS]

  your wooden lighters this belongs with [TS]

  me it belongs in in my curated [TS]

  hermetically sealed a like menswear [TS]

  closet of stuff that there is no [TS]

  appropriate place to where [TS]

  here's the thing you are one of the one [TS]

  of the we had several interesting retail [TS]

  experiences together i think one of the [TS]

  interesting retail experiences we had [TS]

  was there was what looked like kind of a [TS]

  fancy shoe store a men's and ladies kind [TS]

  of fancy shoe store [TS]

  oh this was interesting and we went in [TS]

  there and it's a very nice man i think [TS]

  his name was jordan and he was very [TS]

  enthusiastic and he asked the question [TS]

  that for some reason lots of people ask [TS]

  me lots of times is this your first time [TS]

  here like a little bit about how ruth's [TS]

  chris works like in this case he's like [TS]

  that so many people ask me if this is my [TS]

  first time there like there's something [TS]

  I could do horribly run well we have [TS]

  over by the bathrooms we have an [TS]

  abattoir with a wheelchair on it you [TS]

  don't want to go in there have you ever [TS]

  been to a store before will let me tell [TS]

  you this work we have various goods on [TS]

  what we call shelves here so when [TS]

  there's much shoes and the shoes but he [TS]

  explained to us [TS]

  yeah that this was actually the it's not [TS]

  even really exactly a story its mother [TS]

  showroom he explained that we could not [TS]

  buy any shoes here you go on the [TS]

  internet for that [TS]

  yeah because just the place to see shoes [TS]

  now now I just out of curiosity job with [TS]

  those shoes from far away [TS]

  um well it's funny the shoes were from [TS]

  all over but was it a local company [TS]

  kylie with local companies the company [TS]

  was headquartered just a few miles [TS]

  outside of 10 miles at a thai guard [TS]

  Oregon it's locally sourced shoe [TS]

  purchases shoes are from China but [TS]

  there-there purchased not very far from [TS]

  here [TS]

  yeah and he pronounced i guard or Oregon [TS]

  as Tiger now and I was like Tiger a [TS]

  minute took me a second to realize like [TS]

  and maybe this is a thing where I call a [TS]

  thai garden it's really called Tiger all [TS]

  I i get that they know an event like [TS]

  XOXO is when you realize how many things [TS]

  you pronounce wrong but ok so on the one [TS]

  hand this is a very interesting idea [TS]

  it's very sandy if you're already aware [TS]

  of a tiger shoes darko like you it's [TS]

  going to be nice to be able to go and [TS]

  look at the goods in person if you've [TS]

  never heard of her shoes co like it's [TS]

  really want to walk into a place where [TS]

  it's a bunch of shoes and some ipads [TS]

  yeah and the idea is that you go in [TS]

  there and then you can actually buy what [TS]

  you will know delivered to show up at [TS]

  your house so i guess i want to point [TS]

  that was an interesting [TS]

  I thought technology but is that the [TS]

  kind of thing that could work for your [TS]

  collection I feel like we return to this [TS]

  maybe three times a year is how do we [TS]

  curate what John has at one point you [TS]

  talking about ebay another point i think [TS]

  we have the idea of an assistant coming [TS]

  in capturing some of your stories and [TS]

  put them somewhere [TS]

  is there anyway and the reason i mention [TS]

  this is that you are [TS]

  I if I may say becoming a little bit [TS]

  more comfortable with even the idea of [TS]

  internet people [TS]

  somebody might be able to help you make [TS]

  a site to curate your collection could [TS]

  be a retail component could it be a [TS]

  series of museums like subways we should [TS]

  have a franchise John museums everywhere [TS]

  we're like certain special items might [TS]

  be available for viewing their well it's [TS]

  so here here that the the challenges [TS]

  that I have identified are really it's a [TS]

  primary challenge catches that if I went [TS]

  on etsy i could put up some things and [TS]

  say here are some things i'm selling and [TS]

  I hear the stories hear my stories every [TS]

  one of these things every story hi [TS]

  that's nice isn't it I think the story [TS]

  about that here's the story of this [TS]

  thing and i have i have researched the [TS]

  story of some of these things but also a [TS]

  lot of these garments have my own [TS]

  stories I have done I have I have you [TS]

  know I've watched the seat beams glitter [TS]

  off of 10 Hauser gate in this shirt I [TS]

  was wearing this shirt watching attack [TS]

  ships burn off the shoulder of Orion and [TS]

  so this shirt not only is a cool shirt [TS]

  from the sixties but also i have filled [TS]

  the shirt with my own crazy shit that I [TS]

  want you to know about and you can buy [TS]

  this shirt just because you think that [TS]

  Gant is a cool menswear label for people [TS]

  that like Ivy League preppy shit but [TS]

  also there's this other element which is [TS]

  that you're not just buying some dumb [TS]

  shirt from from a guy like they're still [TS]

  that happened I feel like you're buying [TS]

  a shit you're buying a story and getting [TS]

  a shirt that's right but problem with [TS]

  etsy is that you price the thing and [TS]

  when i go on etsy I feel like everything [TS]

  is overpriced it's very rare [TS]

  rarely do i see a thing where i'm like [TS]

  oh that's the correct price of that item [TS]

  so each crucifix made a pube seven [TS]

  hundred dollars here's a high that seems [TS]

  yet so you made this Eiffel Tower with [TS]

  popsicle sticks and you think it's worth [TS]

  nine hundred dollars you are wrong on [TS]

  ebay it seems much more like the actual [TS]

  proper price of things can be determined [TS]

  but more than that the marketplace it's [TS]

  a marketplace and as we know in America [TS]

  the market is the highest moral order [TS]

  and so the market will decide and if it [TS]

  turns out that two guys who are members [TS]

  of different for don't fedoras one guy [TS]

  stories of the doors of nerds [TS]

  yeah one guy who's a member of like some [TS]

  new zealand fedora and one guy is a [TS]

  member of some like Brighton fedora they [TS]

  both decide that they want this [TS]

  particular thing and they want to get up [TS]

  to seven thousand dollars because [TS]

  because they're both fans of rhetoric on [TS]

  the line and they and they know for a [TS]

  fact that i watch The Seagull click [TS]

  beans glitter off Tannhauser gate in [TS]

  that shirt then that's what the market [TS]

  will bear em but I feel like putting the [TS]

  stories attaching the stories to the to [TS]

  the items within ebay is a violation of [TS]

  the ebay unwritten terms of the ebay [TS]

  unwritten terms are we're here slapping [TS]

  stuff we're here trading we are [TS]

  basically like a trading town the border [TS]

  town [TS]

  ok so in order to make it a marketplace [TS]

  I mean take something like that get in [TS]

  the slacker the kids trying to sell [TS]

  Madonna pap smear right and so you could [TS]

  sell a pap smear and maybe mention that [TS]

  Madonna's involved but you would not be [TS]

  primarily selling it as Madonna pap [TS]

  smear like in your case the story is not [TS]

  what's being sold it should be this good [TS]

  that we could you could you can evaluate [TS]

  versus another Gant shirt based on [TS]

  quality and it actually that's the [TS]

  criteria on even that this is against [TS]

  shirt [TS]

  how is it priced how does it compare to [TS]

  these other games shirts ebay people do [TS]

  not want to be bothered to wade through [TS]

  like some guy talking about all the [TS]

  shitties fuckin seen wearing this shirt [TS]

  nobody gives a shit would just be like [TS]

  what I i had searched I'd save search [TS]

  term dance and now i'm reading [TS]

  somebody's fucking blog [TS]

  screw you and I think that it you know [TS]

  within ebay of course he'd get some [TS]

  you'd get some three star ratings or [TS]

  something and then you'd be ejected from [TS]

  the community and sent to a prison park [TS]

  so do they have different private agents [TS]

  to do that [TS]

  take care of that form i'm sure what I [TS]

  imagined there'd be a knock on my door [TS]

  have to swear out a warrant [TS]

  yeah they just be like listen you've [TS]

  gotten too many three star reviews from [TS]

  people that feel like you know but once [TS]

  the one starts or1 States sing out a [TS]

  heavily armed or of nerds [TS]

  yeah they would one-star review of a [TS]

  national park there i went ahead to [TS]

  yellowstone in there were many bears [TS]

  there one star is in their way that they [TS]

  can make the Bears walk around more [TS]

  yeah so how do i get the how do i get be [TS]

  like crafts fair at an elementary school [TS]

  where people are selling the garbage [TS]

  that they made and boring the shit out [TS]

  of you with their long stories vibe of [TS]

  at sea with the let the market decide [TS]

  what this thing is work right vibe of [TS]

  ebay because i think that some of my [TS]

  items there might be two nerds bidding [TS]

  for it but [TS]

  then there's there's something like [TS]

  clothes nerd who doesn't even care about [TS]

  the stores why it needs to be more of a [TS]

  museum and less of a store because if [TS]

  you want to even a garage sale and you [TS]

  say oh how much of these uh pretty [TS]

  fucked up looking souvenir spoons and [TS]

  they go well actually i can't just tell [TS]

  you the Yogi Bear spoon [TS]

  it's these these are these are part of [TS]

  my leg grab my grandmother had cancer [TS]

  and what she has i inherited these [TS]

  they've been very precious to us [TS]

  instagram has cancer spoons so I can't [TS]

  break up the cookbooks we can't break up [TS]

  the collection I'm so worried that this [TS]

  is me I'm so worried haha i just want [TS]

  the yogi bear it's so weird this is be [TS]

  no no no no no you don't wanted this [TS]

  isn't just an eighties brooks brothers [TS]

  shirt [TS]

  this is the shirt that my dad wore when [TS]

  he went into court to sue my mom its [TS]

  custody [TS]

  it's an airlift and they're just backing [TS]

  out of the room and see if your lawyers [TS]

  want to buy it [TS]

  well you know what i should give them [TS]

  each a parting gift one brooks brothers [TS]

  shirt and then they bail for and then [TS]

  today it's about 33 dollar bill for [TS]

  opening the package so i do i need to [TS]

  find I feel like they're I feel like [TS]

  there are so many people out there that [TS]

  can help us and it just as we have [TS]

  helped them but how do you put this is [TS]

  that this is this is the job the [TS]

  matchmaking service that somebody needs [TS]

  to come up with it's an app it's an app [TS]

  that comes pre-loaded on your pink [TS]

  iphone 6s that connects the underused [TS]

  nerd to the person who desperately needs [TS]

  the one nerdy skill all right right like [TS]

  how who is the who is the video editor [TS]

  who needs to get paired with the person [TS]

  that has right it's a gallon hours and [TS]

  foot and meets careerbuilder [TS]

  meets history and religion future [TS]

  history right because here's the thing [TS]

  also is when you say something like oh [TS]

  yeah well here's this here's the thing [TS]

  that I got in nineteen eighty that was [TS]

  already 20 years [TS]

  old and then I worked for 25 years and [TS]

  not somebody else is gonna wear after [TS]

  that it's about provenance yep and the [TS]

  thing is that if i put something on a [TS]

  hanger and put a price tag on it at my [TS]

  store and the person comes up is like [TS]

  I'd like to buy this pink shirt no you [TS]

  know funny story I saw ed become the new [TS]

  bohemians in that shirt but an [TS]

  eighty-five percent chance that the [TS]

  person's going to put it back on the [TS]

  rack and run out of the store like they [TS]

  don't want that [TS]

  that's too personal but there is someone [TS]

  in the world that once the shirt that I [TS]

  saw a zebra telling the New Bohemians [TS]

  and other side question about it might [TS]

  even be easy bruh kill herself [TS]

  are you what you are like yeah so who do [TS]

  i do we find how do we how do we match [TS]

  the thing with the story to the person [TS]

  that once other so many levels to this i [TS]

  mean i said before you need a master's [TS]

  thesis about you and I mean that there's [TS]

  got there so many levels to this giants [TS]

  about emerging technologies and personal [TS]

  histories and farts and memories and [TS]

  baseball stadiums and family and in [TS]

  spoons and cancer it's about everything [TS]

  thank you well and a lot of you know a [TS]

  lot of people are listening and they're [TS]

  like well maybe I do want one of these [TS]

  shirts i didn't know that I did until [TS]

  until now I didn't realize I definitely [TS]

  didn't want it until you mentioned it to [TS]

  become the new bohemians but now i do [TS]

  but i am not a giant man i do not need a [TS]

  shirt with a 17 and a half inch neck and [TS]

  to them I say you were sleeping sure do [TS]

  you want to sleeping shirt that smells a [TS]

  little bit like me and a little bit like [TS]

  youtube account a lot less like youtuber [TS]

  Kelvin me but still collecting patchouli [TS]

  and hoagies still still yeah do you want [TS]

  to do you ensure that you want to strip [TS]

  it smells a little bit like a meatball [TS]

  sandwich and a lemon and a little bit [TS]

  like someone's burning sage Chompy in [TS]

  the shallow water before I get too deep [TS]

  never stop you there Oh [TS]