Roderick on the Line

Ep. 179: "A Good Box"


  this episode of Roderick on the line is [TS]

  brought to you in part by Casper Casper [TS]

  is an online retailer of premium [TS]

  mattresses that you can get delivered [TS]

  right to your door for a fraction of the [TS]

  price you payin stores to learn more [TS]

  visit Casper dot-com / supertrain and [TS]

  buy cards against humanity this week [TS]

  they ask paul and storm to help me say [TS]

  hi to john good morning John what's [TS]

  going on how are things with you find [TS]

  out about John Roderick ha [TS]

  hello [TS]

  I John the in mint John John John no big [TS]

  bad John is kool maze and say one reason [TS]

  Golan and thank-yous old and sick colon [TS]

  to thank you so praising the coordinates [TS]

  the ninth useful [TS]

  alright great umpire a button-up think [TS]

  that oh you know what fuck you [TS]

  oh god my head all day that's all it [TS]

  takes and he got that you got dr. worm [TS]

  you gotta listen to what a real doctor [TS]

  but is anything he's getting better on [TS]

  the drums you can handle criticism [TS]

  oh man also you know another one from [TS]

  them [TS]

  man it's so loud in here oh yeah it's [TS]

  tough to get stuck in your head another [TS]

  one for me last week to me three days to [TS]

  get rid of [TS]

  listen to what the man set 0 which has [TS]

  so many hooks [TS]

  well the thing is he said no no no do [TS]

  you know what soprano sax I'll allow it [TS]

  I get in so many arguments about that [TS]

  era of paul mccartney that now that song [TS]

  is unimpeachably great absolutely [TS]

  wonderful two hundred percent wonderful [TS]

  the absolutely the best completely [TS]

  conjures the seventies for me makes me [TS]

  feel like a kid again [TS]

  yep nonsensical oh you're not [TS]

  communicate any cogent thought I think [TS]

  he stopped doing a second pass on lyrics [TS]

  I mean it's pure music absolutely pure [TS]

  right music means nothing makes yellow [TS]

  lyrics look like chalk and if this [TS]

  ever-changing well in which we live in [TS]

  no makes you [TS]

  that's terrible nothing works when I was [TS]

  little I thought he was I thought he was [TS]

  just like I just high on prepositions I [TS]

  thought he said in this ever-changing [TS]

  world in which we live in [TS]

  yeah I thought he said that to ya but [TS]

  but even though he's not saying that [TS]

  it's just as bad [TS]

  yeah no man he had they had a run are so [TS]

  good so good the you but it requires [TS]

  that I think that music is supposed to [TS]

  do a different thing than it then I [TS]

  think it is supposed to do what show is [TS]

  this [TS]

  it's not like Buddhism oh it really is [TS]

  that really is [TS]

  did I tell you you speaking of which I [TS]

  got ice when i arrived at the office [TS]

  today there was a pop-up box waiting for [TS]

  me [TS]

  have you heard of your on my other show [TS]

  haha i do is sort of unboxing on bottom [TS]

  unboxing segment yeah yeah I think [TS]

  you're a I think I think I think your [TS]

  chemistry have enough period right now [TS]

  yeah because you you announced your [TS]

  office address yeah it was like 123 [TS]

  make-believe street no down USA [TS]

  yeah that's right [TS]

  one-two-three-four-five [TS]

  one-two-three-four-five Seattle Seattle [TS]

  Street Hotel street seattle town [TS]

  us-american 123 trap Street battle [TS]

  America so you announced on your other [TS]

  program which I which I do listen to you [TS]

  had announced that you want people to [TS]

  send you anything that's not dead with [TS]

  an asterisk right and so people are [TS]

  doing that now [TS]

  yeah I said anybody that's a maker of [TS]

  things that's making stuff and they [TS]

  won't get a crucifix made a pube and [TS]

  they will have they want me to test it [TS]

  out right there like I'm making this you [TS]

  know making these leather watch bands or [TS]

  i'm making this you know this feathered [TS]

  headdress or I'm making you know this [TS]

  these strange Mormon undergarments and [TS]

  I'm just you know I just want to get it [TS]

  out there in the world i'm just not sure [TS]

  how to do that [TS]

  send it to me send it to me and i will [TS]

  test that shit out for you and I'll and [TS]

  I'll talk about it on my program and [TS]

  they had the address here are my program [TS]

  the address here 815 Seattle boulevard [TS]

  good seattle washington [TS]

  united 898 134 office 332 intend to say [TS]

  that's AI just send me your stuff I know [TS]

  you're working on things and you're [TS]

  building banjos out there i know you are [TS]

  a yeah you're working with goods you [TS]

  working with your making some artisanal [TS]

  t a banjo would be awesome [TS]

  yeah feathered headdress my goodness i [TS]

  could see where the feather headdress do [TS]

  you remember a fan of ours came up to us [TS]

  a couple of years ago and I may not [TS]

  handed us two banjos made out of cigar [TS]

  boxes oh yeah that was pretty sweet yeah [TS]

  I still got one of those i still play [TS]

  all the time I tuned it to a kind of [TS]

  like you know raga tuning and I sit on [TS]

  this [TS]

  I sit on the steps i play my daughter to [TS]

  sleep with this cigar box banjo that's a [TS]

  horrifying vision my meltdown [TS]

  yeah i just dropped to my ukulele guitar [TS]

  and I never looked back [TS]

  Oh see dr. from an 80 g sounds very very [TS]

  metal a power now you can play prison [TS]

  colon and something pleasing cold an [TS]

  instant queues alright and it's so loud [TS]

  in here i'm gonna get a good [TS]

  thanksgiving you know it's been a year [TS]

  since I've done by they might be giants [TS]

  presentation ready yeah don't get [TS]

  anything going down down down down [TS]

  that's it I'm done do you want to know a [TS]

  funny thing i would love to know if [TS]

  anything just don't give out any more [TS]

  personal information so i just mention [TS]

  your daughter [TS]

  hi just looked under the keyboard of my [TS]

  computer and there's an envelope [TS]

  oh this is how it starts this is it this [TS]

  is what you've been waiting for [TS]

  we'll see and I don't understand how [TS]

  this would have happened it's posted the [TS]

  third of november so that's that's a [TS]

  while back [TS]

  yeah and it's from waltham massachusetts [TS]

  it's a purple envelope [TS]

  it's addressed to me at 815 Seattle [TS]

  boulevard office number 32 [TS]

  I was in waltham massachusetts not so [TS]

  long ago ms the home of the the email [TS]

  marketing company constant contact [TS]

  really constant contact they make great [TS]

  tell you they do they do it people are [TS]

  constantly contacting them on it [TS]

  yeah junkie so let me talk there waltham [TS]

  massachusetts probably named after [TS]

  waltham abbey a town north of london [TS]

  england LOL Londontown England waltham [TS]

  abbey being an abbey ok [TS]

  purple purple entirely purple envelope [TS]

  verbal envelope was that culturally [TS]

  significant John and sometimes around [TS]

  the it's not ping-pong to say chinese [TS]

  new year you give out a red envelope [TS]

  that's gotta get you don't cut your hair [TS]

  don't sweep the house right bad luck [TS]

  OIC was a purple envelope me well i [TS]

  think in waltham massachusetts this and [TS]

  a purple envelope this particular [TS]

  envelope is the color of let's say a [TS]

  black berry smoothie and I think [TS]

  traditionally in the Massachusetts [TS]

  culture a black berry smoothie colored [TS]

  envelope means may you have many oysters [TS]

  this year is that a harbinger or an omen [TS]

  I think it's a harbinger okay if I got [TS]

  if i had a letter that where they were [TS]

  the envelope was a pretentious like if [TS]

  it had fur me something indicated that [TS]

  there might be some if I may say animism [TS]

  if it was a black envelope with gold [TS]

  foil [TS]

  whoo-hoo right yes you're gonna get [TS]

  invited to a witch's mass or [TS]

  international government organization [TS]

  you've never heard of [TS]

  hello I would open that shit right away [TS]

  and then maybe there would be a curse or [TS]

  maybe I would be a member of a secret [TS]

  institution [TS]

  I think you would have you know what has [TS]

  a clue we have a grind amounts to an [TS]

  elaborate puzzle right exactly i would [TS]

  have to wait too long hope it hasn't [TS]

  expired everything like an offer code [TS]

  and have to go on an adventure what this [TS]

  is the thing I'm not sure whether I am [TS]

  obligated to not open these packages [TS]

  because it's a bit sad because it's a [TS]

  bit on my other show or whether whether [TS]

  every time I walk into my office I just [TS]

  unbox whatever it is this is your main [TS]

  show you can do everything back [TS]

  that's how you know that's how you know [TS]

  it's working that's how you know it's [TS]

  the rhetoric on the line because i don't [TS]

  have a cough button there any can't get [TS]

  your mp3's there on the computer 50,000 [TS]

  53 get three computers and then they say [TS]

  you can listen to your song you can [TS]

  listen to AC news first solo album [TS]

  do you know how many replies i have [TS]

  already gotten to that you have any idea [TS]

  how easy that problem is too fast [TS]

  oh so many people John listen John [TS]

  siracusa will be tearing out his hair [TS]

  it's so easy to fix [TS]

  I think part of my part of the reason [TS]

  i'm here on earth is to be a bugbear [TS]

  literally a Dungeons and Dragons bugbear [TS]

  to John Syracuse's half-orc yeah because [TS]

  what you're really good internet video [TS]

  about the creatures of Lord of the Rings [TS]

  cgpgrey makes these videos that explain [TS]

  complicated things and so I learned [TS]

  about all the many creatures of lord of [TS]

  the rings that has he ever made a video [TS]

  explaining why those dumb Star Wars [TS]

  movies got made [TS]

  no but he you know he's great at is most [TS]

  famous one if its first we got famous [TS]

  for was explaining the difference [TS]

  between the UK the British Isles and [TS]

  what is that it's really good it's a [TS]

  really good video he has a lot of [TS]

  personality in his voice oh he's [TS]

  terrific he really well he's just [TS]

  finally famous he's very very gifted but [TS]

  also he's done great ones I about the [TS]

  history of monarchy in the UK very good [TS]

  how you become the Pope i did not know [TS]

  how you become a pope very interesting [TS]

  yeah you gotta move up through the ranks [TS]

  to become a priest [TS]

  if you're lucky you make the cut you [TS]

  become a you become a bishop bishop then [TS]

  castle / are you mr. Wade sure sure and [TS]

  eventually become one of the Cardinals [TS]

  the Cardinals meet they vote four times [TS]

  a day six days a week to save the day of [TS]

  the week for praying and they put some [TS]

  stuff in the chimney makes a white and [TS]

  got a pope [TS]

  yeah yes Matt nice that's a nice process [TS]

  that's a nice it's a nice it's a nice [TS]

  process it feels really homegrown it [TS]

  feels very it feels very authentic and [TS]

  that is the way that you kind of get to [TS]

  what God is thinking you know one of [TS]

  those videos you learned some stuff [TS]

  here's a question for you [TS]

  you mentioned i think a little bit on [TS]

  the program with dan what's what do you [TS]

  feel is your obligation or promise [TS]

  what is your commitment in terms of when [TS]

  people send you stuff what's gonna [TS]

  happen he might do you write a thank-you [TS]

  note [TS]

  oh it's hard for me to write a thank you [TS]

  note it's always bad [TS]

  I gotta thank you i gotta ask somebody [TS]

  bought me some of my amazon less time [TS]

  any mail the next day [TS]

  that's so good that's really good to do [TS]

  40th anniversary [TS]

  monty python and the holy grail blu-ray [TS]

  box set comes with a catapult and for [TS]

  animals [TS]

  good grief yeah my daughter's loving it [TS]

  what a fantastic gift [TS]

  yeah it's fantastic here's the thing [TS]

  that I don't think thank you thank you [TS]

  have to go as a because i would say [TS]

  jared Thank You Jared thank you that was [TS]

  a great gift [TS]

  Monty Python box set so what is your [TS]

  internal or external what you're feeling [TS]

  so it sounds like part of what you're [TS]

  offering is notes [TS]

  yeah I'm commentary you're going to put [TS]

  this in a cultural context which is [TS]

  something everybody could use that's [TS]

  right I i feel like i am going to give [TS]

  an honest appraisal of the whole [TS]

  experience right like here comes a box [TS]

  if I've talked to you in advance about [TS]

  this i have already forgotten it so i [TS]

  have no idea what's in any box that [TS]

  arrives at my house if I wish I had that [TS]

  printed on the card I could just give to [TS]

  people haha if I've talked to you about [TS]

  this in advance i have already have [TS]

  probably forgotten it yeah so everyone i [TS]

  order stuff on ebay when I order stuff [TS]

  at amazon when people tell me they're [TS]

  gonna send me things I immediately [TS]

  forget it and so every time I arrived [TS]

  home and there's a box on the doorstep [TS]

  I have no idea what it is and it's a [TS]

  wonderful Christmas morning every time [TS]

  so i will so i'll open the box on the [TS]

  on-air and i will be surprised by what's [TS]

  inside and I'll describe the whole [TS]

  experience and then i will i will try to [TS]

  utilize the item as best i can and then [TS]

  explain my experience of using it now if [TS]

  it's if i if I'm trying to use the thing [TS]

  and it's not useful i will probably [TS]

  describe that [TS]

  mm but I feel like a lot of our [TS]

  listeners are making things and they're [TS]

  making things [TS]

  well some of it is in the category of [TS]

  art where it's now difficult to know how [TS]

  to use it you can only appreciate it or [TS]

  not appreciated [TS]

  mm but I will you know i will use my i [TS]

  will use all of my faculties to like a [TS]

  praise the thing okay that's my promise [TS]

  to you [TS]

  okay well I you know I'm here I serve at [TS]

  your pleasure if you want to save that [TS]

  for your show with Dan that's fine if [TS]

  you'd like to open it that would be [TS]

  great to I'm very curious about the [TS]

  envelope [TS]

  well that's the thing it's that the [TS]

  envelope and is more effective more [TS]

  you've got me saying envelope now and I [TS]

  but I normally say envelope is that [TS]

  thing I don't know I say I say I still [TS]

  say aunt like aunt and uncle and I get [TS]

  corrected my daughter [TS]

  although she says aren't where is she [TS]

  from all she goes to yeah she goes to [TS]

  school in San Francisco [TS]

  well now we don't talk about to force my [TS]

  it's my my my wife stone family because [TS]

  they're from New England Cisse aunt on [TS]

  like that's the thing weird [TS]

  ya know any envelope envelope is it not [TS]

  its envelope i guess maybe this one [TS]

  seems like an envelope that purple first [TS]

  was purple seconds from its from the [TS]

  Northeast so it probably came probably [TS]

  came as an envelope [TS]

  what if it's something that you can talk [TS]

  about let's let's i'm going to open the [TS]

  jaw is that John is addressing the [TS]

  envelope i'm using my ikea shears [TS]

  thank you to our team sponsors this week [TS]

  John is opening his mail here we go all [TS]

  my goodness inside the purple envelope [TS]

  is a yellow piece of paper and the two [TS]

  colors contrast against one another [TS]

  delightfully so far so good it's a [TS]

  pretty long letter [TS]

  oh my goodness so it's to pick know you [TS]

  have two pages yellow pages and the [TS]

  first sentences as promised I have no [TS]

  recollection of receiving any promise as [TS]

  promised please find enclosed a few [TS]

  mementos from my recent trip overseas [TS]

  and here it is Merlin it is a stack of [TS]

  saudi arabian money [TS]

  saudi arabian money and a [TS]

  Czechoslovakian stamp not a check stamp [TS]

  or a Slovak stamp but a Czechoslovakian [TS]

  stamp when did when did that stop being [TS]

  a the check place when did you change [TS]

  the name on that [TS]

  well it would have happened after the [TS]

  velvet revolution of 1989 and they split [TS]

  up in the early nineties ok for pretty [TS]

  fast because the slow box went away [TS]

  slovak swatted out from under that check [TS]

  Dominion and they wanted to form what [TS]

  ended up being a totally repressive [TS]

  government while the checks flourished [TS]

  in there [TS]

  Vaclav Havel super-state of poets and [TS]

  playwrights playwrights the slow box [TS]

  were like now we're tired of being ruled [TS]

  by the those damn checks and then they [TS]

  can pay LG remember life under eugene [TS]

  o'neill yeah they elevated a like [TS]

  despotic former communists assholio and [TS]

  then slovakia just was like oh damn and [TS]

  I think they're I think they're [TS]

  recovering now I think they're I think [TS]

  the slovak sauron their way but they [TS]

  think they handicap themselves for the [TS]

  four you get i'm looking at a picture [TS]

  here of a Saudi rai al [TS]

  yeah that's right are ya real reality [TS]

  and it's got its got a picture fell on [TS]

  it [TS]

  mhm and I keep asking myself is that the [TS]

  best picture they had well it's a pretty [TS]

  strange picture and I have to stay it's [TS]

  got to be king fahd al sure uh but then [TS]

  there's one of these four bills i have [TS]

  where it seems like the picture is of [TS]

  King well so i think that the the three [TS]

  bills might be king sound and then this [TS]

  is king fahd his son then there's a kind [TS]

  of a kind of looks like salieri with [TS]

  glasses [TS]

  yeah i guess a different guy you know [TS]

  the famous Saudi ambassador to the [TS]

  United States we have F murray Abraham [TS]

  yeah he's a he's a he's always been like [TS]

  a cultural attaché [TS]

  and.and he's a he's a very expansive [TS]

  personality and he sort of the face of [TS]

  Saudi longtime face of saudi arabia in [TS]

  the United States and I think he was [TS]

  recently recalled or or banished [TS]

  something happened some intrigue [TS]

  oh yes and this picture kind of looks [TS]

  like him but it's it's not because they [TS]

  wouldn't put him on the money i would [TS]

  that be embarrassing [TS]

  it's you know that's the thing about [TS]

  those dynasties right there are so many [TS]

  princes in saudi arabia and which one is [TS]

  going to be the king is is like there's [TS]

  a there's a ton of intrigue there anyway [TS]

  so i took the letter reads on i was in [TS]

  Saudi Arabia so it's very difficult to [TS]

  go to Saudi Arabia i have learned you [TS]

  can't just kill it was not simply walk [TS]

  into Saudi Arabia know because their [TS]

  mentality is we don't need Western [TS]

  tourism here we have all the money in [TS]

  the world and so why you are going to [TS]

  come here and you're going to look ask [TS]

  ants at our other veils and you're gonna [TS]

  try and use your Western powers to screw [TS]

  with us [TS]

  outlook was only right locals only on [TS]

  this Beach so why would we asked you to [TS]

  come here what do you bring we don't [TS]

  need your money so what else are you [TS]

  bringing we don't need your culture [TS]

  either so tell us why we should let you [TS]

  here and very few people can pass that [TS]

  bar i think a lot of think the people to [TS]

  do cover like we are engineering [TS]

  professors or we are loyal mucky-mucks [TS]

  em anyway so this person says I was in [TS]

  saudi arabia for one week which is [TS]

  extraordinary for work i administer a [TS]

  fellowship for Saudi women at MIT [TS]

  wow that's so cool we sponsor Saudi [TS]

  women phd's to come to MIT to conduct [TS]

  research [TS]

  wow that's wow video podcast for you we [TS]

  do a podcast almost every week we can't [TS]

  sponsor anyone [TS]

  well but you know what write that down [TS]

  we should have a scholarship and we can [TS]

  change that that's right down right now [TS]

  we need a scholarship we could sponsor [TS]

  something I get the feeling that all of [TS]

  the applicants would be a men in their [TS]

  early twenties from New Zealand em but [TS]

  we can find work for them in terms of [TS]

  podcasts [TS]

  Germans do and slow box of podcasts and [TS]

  the Balkans John no okay a god that's so [TS]

  cool [TS]

  then what I want a neat project well [TS]

  it's wonderful and you know i have that [TS]

  i have that collection of money from all [TS]

  over and I never would have thought I [TS]

  was going to get saudi arabian money but [TS]

  now i have some just in case really it's [TS]

  really pretty and very complicated and [TS]

  what's nice is that you know a lot of [TS]

  money puts English on itself but oh IC [TS]

  they actually have I thought I thought [TS]

  that this money was going to have no [TS]

  English on it was all going to be in [TS]

  Arabic and a wonderful script but then [TS]

  on the back it does a saudi arabian [TS]

  monetary agency King Abdullah bin [TS]

  Abdulaziz al-saud mhm which is an [TS]

  awesome name to cool name [TS]

  i have 10 rial 5c hard when he gets high [TS]

  score on like stargate also what do you [TS]

  play [TS]

  alright just what you put poop you don't [TS]

  get four letters [TS]

  oh you put a big dik Assad has done it [TS]

  again a damn it damn it he can get all [TS]

  the mutants is right at the top but i [TS]

  don't so I haven't read deeply enough [TS]

  into the letter to know what the [TS]

  significance of the Czechoslovakian [TS]

  stamp is but I but i'm very excited by [TS]

  um can I can make a suggestion [TS]

  yeah see I like the idea that you guys [TS]

  talked about this i know they do this on [TS]

  on RT podcast like they always ask [TS]

  people to say where they're from on the [TS]

  TV podcast always have to see what your [TS]

  area code is I think two things would be [TS]

  helpful [TS]

  where is that person from ya MIP and is [TS]

  it ok to read on the air [TS]

  Oh may I read your letter on the right I [TS]

  think we should just say he says to me [TS]

  I'm gonna read on the air so don't make [TS]

  it weird [TS]

  ok that's right if you're going to if [TS]

  you sent me a weird letter i'm gonna [TS]

  read on the air anyway I did this person [TS]

  has not as good expressly allowed that [TS]

  they can that I can read this on the air [TS]

  and frankly I don't even know if they [TS]

  are podcast listener they may have [TS]

  contacted me separately and said [TS]

  I would like to send you something and I [TS]

  said yeah by all means send it to be [TS]

  awkward conversations by the Keurig [TS]

  machine at MIT time said it to me at 815 [TS]

  Seattle boulevard a town USA 12345 etude [TS]

  to office 322 which I so yeah but you [TS]

  know I have a lot of a lot of fans and [TS]

  friends at MIT sure and sent us this is [TS]

  I mean of course right they're working [TS]

  they're working for DARPA but they're [TS]

  really working for me anyway so that's [TS]

  wonderful that's that that that made my [TS]

  morning [TS]

  that's a nice gift yeah and then that [TS]

  did feel that felt appropriately [TS]

  connected to this program [TS]

  uh-huh and then the box whatever is in [TS]

  the wait a minute now the boxes from [TS]

  amazon prime that's not something [TS]

  somebody made oh they just could be a [TS]

  straight-up reading maybe dildo [TS]

  let me see you save it for Dan shaken [TS]

  but I don't want I don't take your [TS]

  material for Dan this doesn't sound like [TS]

  a dildo [TS]

  what's your sense giving you hate kid [TS]

  you won't give another shake the think [TS]

  it's a book or possibly a blu-ray box [TS]

  set it would be a very light weight [TS]

  dildo and I think one of the criteria of [TS]

  the dildo is that have a little heft [TS]

  should have a little should have good [TS]

  hand feel ya you don't want you don't [TS]

  want to do that's like looking at you [TS]

  know like this doesn't approximate [TS]

  anything [TS]

  well I think if there's anything you [TS]

  don't want a dildo it sits in [TS]

  substantial right regardless of the size [TS]

  i mean i think it should it should have [TS]

  some gravitas [TS]

  yeah right i mean a dildo ultimately [TS]

  like a light dildo it's it's like the [TS]

  field roast of penises [TS]

  what is it was filled with jon is [TS]

  Atlanta jager field roast is a real [TS]

  gross is a product made here in [TS]

  Washington made here in seattle [TS]

  washington which is a meat substitute so [TS]

  in some Seattle restaurants you can get [TS]

  a field roast meatloaf or field roast [TS]

  turkey dinner and it's just a [TS]

  combination of vegetables formed into [TS]

  the shape of a look at westfield roast a [TS]

  big potato [TS]

  yeah and it's a it's delightful it's not [TS]

  especially like [TS]

  meet but it is something that you can [TS]

  eat instead of meat and get in and [TS]

  mexican chipotle that's right and so [TS]

  when I think of a dildo [TS]

  I mean a lot of dildos are our [TS]

  exaggeratedly other they're made of [TS]

  glass they seem like they're somebody's [TS]

  making bongs and then a bong failed and [TS]

  they were like I think about building [TS]

  design starts a bomb i think probably [TS]

  someone's making glass bombs and the [TS]

  ones that don't really like that they [TS]

  don't they're not filled with bong life [TS]

  right [TS]

  collapse upon themselves or their tube [TS]

  honky they're just like right and they [TS]

  move that over to a separate place of [TS]

  the Senate assembly line and there's [TS]

  somebody turning those shape and bones [TS]

  into dildos that is smart operationally [TS]

  that is super smart but you don't want a [TS]

  car by your dildo unless that's your [TS]

  thing [TS]

  well who doesn't exactly mean although [TS]

  if you could put a carbon a dildo and [TS]

  then just like Paul people love [TS]

  marijuana John and they they like doing [TS]

  stuff with dildos I think there could be [TS]

  an opportunity in the market here but [TS]

  here's what about your friend mitc it's [TS]

  just something in the grand for what [TS]

  people are gonna listen to this program [TS]

  and they're going to change the way they [TS]

  are making build bombs and another note [TS]

  we need a grant to go to a separate [TS]

  business it's give scholarships get [TS]

  grants I do i do feel like dildos are [TS]

  are the field roast of of water bongs [TS]

  who but you know what i mean like it's [TS]

  up as a it's a meat substitute yeah and [TS]

  so it has to approximate some of the [TS]

  qualities of the original item you can [TS]

  also get in fun colors a lot like a bomb [TS]

  well and probably just buy yourself a [TS]

  purple dildo that's the thing you can [TS]

  get penises in a lot of colors [TS]

  that's true Hakuna Matata and said I'll [TS]

  say alright I'm opening this box okay [TS]

  once again thank you very much to our to [TS]

  sponsor this week John is open his dildo [TS]

  box [TS]

  alright so it's from amazon prime or [TS]

  second sponsor thank you [TS]

  well it's full of little little bags LOL [TS]

  airbags airbag sure is [TS]

  the first thing we have to do the bags [TS]

  inside is a an actual wrapped box [TS]

  oh is it the blue wrapping paper yeah [TS]

  it's a gift-wrapped box [TS]

  somebody paid extra to have that rap for [TS]

  you that nice and that yeah they did [TS]

  visit dildo shaped at the bottom [TS]

  no it's just a square box at the bottom [TS]

  of the of the amazon box is a is a like [TS]

  a different color yellow [TS]

  I'd say this one is orange an envelope [TS]

  that says keep your gift to surprise [TS]

  that's the gift receipt unwrap your [TS]

  present before opening this envelope so [TS]

  if I open this envelope it will tell me [TS]

  with the gift is you don't do that and [TS]

  also if you're going to use the dildo [TS]

  you know you want to really clean that [TS]

  up for you send it back [TS]

  oh right term here gentlemen I don't [TS]

  know will they take that back i think [TS]

  they have to okay that's the Magna Carta [TS]

  so now here I'm back to have to make [TS]

  another conundrum [TS]

  yeah because there's a little there's a [TS]

  little a climate gift card [TS]

  yeah happy note on the top and it's [TS]

  decorated with snowflakes which means [TS]

  that this is a Christmas present right i [TS]

  think you could open the flap egift card [TS]

  and i'll give you guidance [TS]

  all right here we go it's not [TS]

  handwritten because it was done by [TS]

  others like one crummy little text box [TS]

  you feel that it always gets weird the [TS]

  line breaks are weird and amazon should [TS]

  really fix that [TS]

  alright here we go hi John big fan of [TS]

  all the great shows [TS]

  nice nice reference here is something [TS]

  that works great for refreshing and [TS]

  cleaning guitar strings huh i first read [TS]

  about it here [TS]

  HTTP colon forward slash forward slash [TS]

  bitd ly /a one capital m m capital D I x [TS]

  ! that's aye-aye captain slow k psych [TS]

  capital m capital and capital D [TS]

  lowercase I uppercase X I think it's [TS]

  luke numeral one md and then unclear [TS]

  whether it's an iron L say amazon's [TS]

  gotta get on this thing is IX I frankly [TS]

  anyway from Dmitri battery in ski what a [TS]

  great name up and it may even be Perry [TS]

  in ski-e-o perience Kelly no see this i [TS]

  can't read the Amazons and writing this [TS]

  is terrible [TS]

  alright so this is a guitar string [TS]

  refresher huh in the box i will now have [TS]

  given it away and open [TS]

  yeah from Dmitri like you get that you [TS]

  want to get into r3 sponsors this week [TS]

  amazon prime go oh it's the sticker has [TS]

  kind of become amazing don't appear on [TS]

  more podcast lists the stick [TS]

  well fuck is the AV club for us the [TS]

  sticker is sort of defaced the box which [TS]

  is a pigment really bothers me when I [TS]

  don't know tram is on today no i want to [TS]

  but if you're sending me a box i wanted [TS]

  to be a reusable box i don't want your [TS]

  sticker dunk [TS]

  yes Daddy face the box no its you know [TS]

  they think about boxes like well once [TS]

  the box get there and it gets opened its [TS]

  going right in the recycling it's like [TS]

  not necessarily a hoe not my house on [TS]

  right now we'll talk about boxes right [TS]

  you got a plan so you know i'm just [TS]

  taking the stick them off the box and [TS]

  now you're like a child just hearing [TS]

  into a box of Lucky Charms that's just [TS]

  sad [TS]

  I'm not going to be able to open the box [TS]

  until I get this stick them off and uh [TS]

  huh [TS]

  alright i can open it what John is it is [TS]

  it this is our dice think what is it [TS]

  well I haven't opened it yet okay all [TS]

  right here we go [TS]

  opening the box it's really packaged in [TS]

  a way that indicates someone in a [TS]

  warehouse really cared whose paper there [TS]

  we go [TS]

  unwrapping it it is a can a little can [TS]

  that seems like it would be a seems like [TS]

  the kind of kin that you would use to [TS]

  wax your cross-country skis is aerosol [TS]

  manual it's manual ok it's like yeah [TS]

  it's a manual can old-fashioned [TS]

  cross-country ski wax and it's called [TS]

  the zenith Tibet almond stick and eat [TS]

  and it's and then the label says it's [TS]

  all so new it's not used [TS]

  that's nice all I've seen this stuff [TS]

  oh yeah uses on tables yeah yeah yeahs [TS]

  zenith Tibet almond stick wipeout [TS]

  furniture and flooring quick as a wink [TS]

  quick as a wink and and he is saying it [TS]

  refreshes guitar strings [TS]

  I don't know I putting stuff on guitar [TS]

  strings depression and I don't know [TS]

  inside the little can is a further piece [TS]

  of rapper [TS]

  oh wow strong smelling it has a very [TS]

  citrusy smell this smell more like [TS]

  almonds or Tibet I've never been to [TS]

  Tibet okay it smells like it would work [TS]

  also as a breath freshener [TS]

  yeah well thank you Dimitri for that [TS]

  wonderful gift i will try to put the [TS]

  floor wax on my guitar and see else all [TS]

  experiment with a with a guitar I don't [TS]

  care about that much huh [TS]

  and if it works if it likes licks up my [TS]

  strings and refreshes them i will be [TS]

  very grateful to you [TS]

  yeah thanks to meet you this would [TS]

  really be a good segment for your show [TS]

  with Dan haha we are had our annual go [TS]

  ahead [TS]

  no I was I've been wondering lately how [TS]

  come we're not on more like best podcast [TS]

  list is keep seeing these things best [TS]

  pilot at the 50 best podcast i don't i [TS]

  don't strictly want to be and yet i'm a [TS]

  little surprised that we're not because [TS]

  we were very important program [TS]

  alright and who what the hell are all [TS]

  these other programs we want I don't [TS]

  want a bunch of johnny-come-lately [TS]

  also-rans just showing up because they [TS]

  thought on a website i think the people [TS]

  the people who need to find this will [TS]

  find is provided that you people are [TS]

  telling them repair we had a meeting [TS]

  where listeners yeah it's always our [TS]

  everything always comes back to [TS]

  listeners and so we had our annual [TS]

  carnival this weekend I just the [TS]

  phenomenon toss out and see if I'm alone [TS]

  in this family who's we [TS]

  we are the school my wife is the [TS]

  co-chair of the carnival she put an [TS]

  extraordinary amount of work into having [TS]

  a carnival they raised a lot of money [TS]

  was really great so I was on a cleanup [TS]

  crew and part of my job was breaking [TS]

  down boxes like people bring stuff in a [TS]

  box yeah like donations baked goods [TS]

  whatnot and then one of my Jobs was to [TS]

  break down the boxes and put them in [TS]

  recycling which i happen to love and I [TS]

  find very meditative but i also use it [TS]

  at home it's always an opportunity for [TS]

  me to look for what i will call a good [TS]

  box [TS]

  oh yes you feeling about good boxes oh I [TS]

  have a whole what do you think I keep [TS]

  this office for yeah it's just for [TS]

  Ferrand boxes that I'm like that's a [TS]

  good box [TS]

  I nest them I I very meditative it's [TS]

  almost like Buddhism I meditatively will [TS]

  nest them like Russian dolls to get a [TS]

  good box inside of a larger good box [TS]

  because i love a good box sometimes you [TS]

  come across a regular amazon boxing [TS]

  that's pretty box [TS]

  yeah sometimes maybe something came from [TS]

  costco maybe something's gotta wax [TS]

  coating on it but something that you [TS]

  could actually put like 250 wet swimsuit [TS]

  sin and it wouldn't think oh that's a [TS]

  good that's a good box you know who does [TS]

  not love good boxes my wife see because [TS]

  I'm a collector of good box they don't [TS]

  understand I don't know what there's [TS]

  times when I think it might be a guy [TS]

  thing i'm not sure and I don't want to [TS]

  stipulate that but you you get that [TS]

  feeling I got some really good boxes [TS]

  right here I keep the sum I breaking [TS]

  down and take him outside but then I [TS]

  like a good box because there's going to [TS]

  be a time when you need a good box and [TS]

  if you can use anything more than once I [TS]

  think you're on the right side of [TS]

  history [TS]

  I get into this argument all the time [TS]

  primarily with my mother and other [TS]

  people that I share a living space with [TS]

  her like can we get some of these boxes [TS]

  out of here [TS]

  they say it so simply like it's just [TS]

  like oh hey let's go to the refrigerator [TS]

  and sink we threw out half your produce [TS]

  it like like this one is for its a [TS]

  refrigerator we both agree right that [TS]

  there are too many boxes in here so we [TS]

  both agreed that it's time to get rid of [TS]

  some of these and I'm like wait a minute [TS]

  no no these aren't these are the so [TS]

  clearly those are the boxes that are [TS]

  headed out to the recycling these are [TS]

  the boxes that are organized and hence [TS]

  no they aren't [TS]

  we're not going to get some of these [TS]

  boxes out of here these are employees [TS]

  are important boxes they're like what is [TS]

  anything in them [TS]

  not yet is my god what a question what [TS]

  good what good are they [TS]

  what good are they that's like only [TS]

  keeping the pretty hundred-dollar bills [TS]

  haha yes it's like you know the thing is [TS]

  like yes I mean I'm not ed they don't [TS]

  keep every box like that's not tenable [TS]

  like if something if it's like a generic [TS]

  oddly shaped box of electronics came and [TS]

  I'm more than happy to take that out to [TS]

  the curb right to the curb right to the [TS]

  car but if you got it you got it talk [TS]

  about head [TS]

  p hi gage box that really flaps close [TS]

  right up you know a nice square box [TS]

  particularly a box that can hold an 11 x [TS]

  17 piece of paper gosh there's so many [TS]

  things you could do with that now write [TS]

  a nice big legal sized piece of paper [TS]

  box but also i have a so I also will [TS]

  pull over to the side of the road [TS]

  anytime I see a like an old road case [TS]

  like a plywood road case that was maybe [TS]

  used to carry a surveying implement man [TS]

  or some kind of you know a lot of them [TS]

  will have shaped foam inside where there [TS]

  was a telescope or there was some kind [TS]

  of like router and that's that's [TS]

  practically equipment it's fucking [TS]

  equipment and these boxes are a lot of [TS]

  them really old they have a tremendous [TS]

  like I i hate to use the word patina I [TS]

  don't normally use that in in in the [TS]

  with regard to boxes [TS]

  yeah well I regard to anything i'm going [TS]

  to talk about somethings patina come on [TS]

  yeah but but they are beautifully Warren [TS]

  and they have heavy great gauge latches [TS]

  and I'll take those home I'll across [TS]

  three lanes of traffic to pick one of [TS]

  those up off the street that's all i can [TS]

  do although gonna take my kid up from [TS]

  school every day and you know you see a [TS]

  lot of trash on the red it's it's all I [TS]

  can do not to go pick that up because i [TS]

  know i'm gonna bring it home and then [TS]

  i'm going to get grief about that [TS]

  yeah and then it's like what is that [TS]

  piece of junk and it's a piece of junk [TS]

  what what happens if we need to carry a [TS]

  like a surveillance implement you know [TS]

  what I i think part of it is you know I [TS]

  i did I once sat down as I often do in [TS]

  Microsoft Excel to try and figure out [TS]

  how many times I moved over a certain [TS]

  period of time I just gotta I just had [TS]

  to pick a mental picture of you sitting [TS]

  down within Microsoft Excel it was so [TS]

  beautiful it was that it was just like [TS]

  the bread that scene intron where you [TS]

  just can't [TS]

  yeah and all the sudden I love Microsoft [TS]

  Excel i find it very very absorbing but [TS]

  i will try to figure out how many times [TS]

  I move because you are all trying to get [TS]

  at is that I think that part of the [TS]

  impetus for this is if you move enough [TS]

  you learn some things and like if you're [TS]

  like in college it's 11 a lot of books [TS]

  you know what you learned a lot of books [TS]

  you don't put you don't get a giant box [TS]

  of books there's a certain size i'm [TS]

  gonna say roughly the size of milk crate [TS]

  that's really good for for carrying [TS]

  books around sushi Percy small yes [TS]

  presents an excusable that's right so if [TS]

  you put a bit put too many boxes if you [TS]

  have a big box and you put too many [TS]

  books in it you can't carry the box know [TS]

  people don't understand this you haven't [TS]

  moved a lot so I think in the back of my [TS]

  mind corner of my eye I am always [TS]

  looking out I don't intend to moving i'm [TS]

  going to move but at the same time I [TS]

  still I can't stop saying it like it's [TS]

  it's you know it's just it's like seeing [TS]

  an attractive person or a quarter like [TS]

  you can't pick it up you know you're [TS]

  looking for a book box yeah for me I [TS]

  have a lot of as you know mementos [TS]

  uh-huh and I need memento boxes boxes [TS]

  that are just the right size for like [TS]

  photographs and little notes that people [TS]

  have left me and Saudi Arabian currency [TS]

  and Czechoslovakia and stamps and so the [TS]

  Box doesn't have to be big but it does [TS]

  have to be pleasing yeah you don't want [TS]

  to put your mementos in a box that isn't [TS]

  pleased him [TS]

  yeah i totally agree and i bought boxes [TS]

  like I there are times when I think well [TS]

  I gotta get my stuff put together so get [TS]

  a lot of these where they called bankers [TS]

  boxes [TS]

  tell me about a banker's box now you [TS]

  know it's cheating [TS]

  you know it's like buying bitcoins that [TS]

  mining it like algo SE amazon send me [TS]

  like a multipack of these folded up [TS]

  boxes you know bankers box when you see [TS]

  it like when somebody gets fired the [TS]

  security guard walks amount to carry [TS]

  that box with the handles [TS]

  oh yeah yeah it comes with a nice lid [TS]

  it's real nice and i found some of these [TS]

  recently but they were smaller you can [TS]

  get them in different sizes there that's [TS]

  a real good sized box for all kinds of [TS]

  boxing but i would prefer and say what's [TS]

  nice about it as with books it's nice to [TS]

  have boxes of the same size when you're [TS]

  moving that are labeled clearly IC IC [TS]

  but but I don't know man I think it's an [TS]

  affliction [TS]

  well here's this labeling that you just [TS]

  said here's the thing that we're my mom [TS]

  and I differ my mom will write in black [TS]

  marker indelible ink marker right on the [TS]

  surface of a thing she will write what [TS]

  she's using the thing to store right [TS]

  shield but but directly [TS]

  on the box directly on the box all right [TS]

  on the box like yeah mementos and [TS]

  sometimes she'll buy bags show you buy [TS]

  things at the thrift store there like a [TS]

  makeup bag or pencil bag small bags and [TS]

  she'll write in indelible marker right [TS]

  on the bag [TS]

  oh that makes me uncomfortable pens oh [TS]

  no permanent marker [TS]

  yeah or drill bits right on the outside [TS]

  of a of a bag that had formerly housed [TS]

  some mac cosmetics and it drives me to [TS]

  distraction [TS]

  ya know right right on the thing because [TS]

  then i cannot repurpose it i cannot [TS]

  repurpose the thing if it and you know [TS]

  and I'm sure their listeners that are [TS]

  like just put up just put a label / just [TS]

  put a sticker over it but no no you [TS]

  always know it's there [TS]

  you'll always know underneath the [TS]

  sticker where you wrote kitchen [TS]

  implements there is indelible marker [TS]

  right on the box that says bags right my [TS]

  mom used the box to hold bags you're [TS]

  like a random junk [TS]

  Yeah right and I'm always know it's [TS]

  there and it's just like get that box [TS]

  out of my house because it's it's too [TS]

  filed that's the filed with permanent [TS]

  marker [TS]

  I cannot abide it I got a lot of [TS]

  feelings about boxes and bags before I [TS]

  know I know you do [TS]

  did you know what did you know I have [TS]

  the have the sort of hemp shopping bag [TS]

  thing [TS]

  what are those called the shopping bags [TS]

  yeah okay the hemp shopping bags i have [TS]

  one of those from every South by [TS]

  Southwest never attended because they [TS]

  were swag bags and I use them as my like [TS]

  hippie go to the grocery store bags but [TS]

  you know I start to feel like some of [TS]

  those early you know the South by [TS]

  Southwest 1999 I don't want to use that [TS]

  anymore at the death trader joes I want [TS]

  to keep that somewhere but it's not like [TS]

  you're gonna frame it [TS]

  yeah what do you do you have that then [TS]

  you have to have a box where you keep [TS]

  your special bags well i would i would [TS]

  put those in the superclass of what i [TS]

  call floppy bags really nice thing about [TS]

  flat bags you can put a bunch of fucking [TS]

  bags in another bag that's true [TS]

  what kind of a meta back so I do that a [TS]

  lot so when we get a lot of bags of one [TS]

  kind again you know it [TS]

  let's call it metal storage metal [TS]

  storage so you got stuff you a story [TS]

  that's what I nest my boxes floppy bags [TS]

  i try to have them in something I don't [TS]

  want them up I'm not a monster but I [TS]

  like fold them in some kind of a [TS]

  sensible way you know you should always [TS]

  be able to see which bags which you [TS]

  should be able to know like if I grab [TS]

  this much i'm getting three of these it [TS]

  should be should be sensible [TS]

  that's not like a candy dish yeah I it [TS]

  makes me feel so much better to know [TS]

  that someone else shares this particular [TS]

  sort of this particular wisdom man and I [TS]

  you know it's just it's nice it's nice [TS]

  to know that it's there [TS]

  you know what though I think also this [TS]

  but this might be the proof that I'm [TS]

  crazy but I think it also leaves this [TS]

  bigger thing of mine which is about a [TS]

  certain kind of preparation and i just [TS]

  talked about travel here but like I'm [TS]

  talking about thinking through what's [TS]

  gonna happen right [TS]

  you always bring a jacket do you have to [TS]

  go anywhere else do you have to pick [TS]

  anything up along the way what will you [TS]

  have to do what's your incumbrance going [TS]

  to be at this point in the campaign is [TS]

  we got to think about all that stuff and [TS]

  is honestly I think I'm the only one [TS]

  thinking about that this is why I'm this [TS]

  is why I don't like high heels [TS]

  yeah somebody set of the day high heels [TS]

  and I was like I don't know [TS]

  no high heels find another way because [TS]

  what if we have to climb offense [TS]

  yep and you don't you don't you never [TS]

  you never go to a fancy ball thinking [TS]

  later on tonight we're gonna have to [TS]

  climb offense but you know go to fancy [TS]

  balls something happened something else [TS]

  happens suddenly you're being chased up [TS]

  an alibi Rottweilers yeah what are you [TS]

  gonna do all your high heels clack clack [TS]

  clack clack too bad your Rottweiler food [TS]

  they the area if they are tactical gear [TS]

  it it's the wrong kind of tactic going [TS]

  to get chased by a fucking Rottweilers [TS]

  right that's right Robbie think it'd be [TS]

  nice to have a little pointy though [TS]

  forget your feet into the fence [TS]

  let's let's go it's called this chased [TS]

  chased by Rottweilers across a [TS]

  drawbridge haha man yeah you're doing [TS]

  you're doing some mental calculus [TS]

  yeah good you know the Rottweilers are [TS]

  not going to be happy on the drawbridge [TS]

  eat but your they are not going to have [TS]

  to go all the way across you know the [TS]

  Rottweilers are wearing high heels and [TS]

  they're not going to go across the [TS]

  drawbridge because you and your high [TS]

  heels are going to be like one foot into [TS]

  the drawbridge and stuck [TS]

  God and you know a lot of drawbridges [TS]

  have a grating well that's what I'm [TS]

  talking about [TS]

  yeah that was grading you're not going [TS]

  to get your training you're not gonna [TS]

  get across there in a fucking said hi [TS]

  you and I want to share when I walked [TS]

  out of the house today it's cold here in [TS]

  Seattle that right the temperature has [TS]

  plunged and I'm am walking on the house [TS]

  i'm headed to my meeting with Merlin [TS]

  Mann at my office on Seattle boulevard [TS]

  yep 1 2 3 4 5 & and I'm not that has [TS]

  three office 322 in case you're keeping [TS]

  track think it's 33 2332 um which one [TS]

  which one is that I don't want to [TS]

  confuse people you have 332 sorry [TS]

  walking on the house I look at my basket [TS]

  of hats and I feel like it's a little [TS]

  early in the season even though it's [TS]

  cold little early in the season to bust [TS]

  out of ski hat and I'd cycled through a [TS]

  lot of my like medium temperature hats [TS]

  and I just roof [TS]

  I just reflexively I was feeling bold or [TS]

  something i reached over to my display [TS]

  let's call it a Christmas tree of [TS]

  vintage hats men's hats Tom Waits hats [TS]

  or and these are hats that I've [TS]

  collected over time but I very seldom [TS]

  wear because I just don't see myself as [TS]

  a guy who goes out into the world in a [TS]

  Tom Waits tab [TS]

  yeah this is the tension i love to I [TS]

  love them I love to have them they're [TS]

  beautiful things but I just can't I just [TS]

  can't see myself as like walking around [TS]

  in up in like a funky old hat very much [TS]

  I mean I've done it I've done in a [TS]

  certain amount but it's just it's a [TS]

  bridge too far you I feel like you've [TS]

  described as well in the past with a [TS]

  couple different threads in the past [TS]

  one of them is that every day when you [TS]

  get up there is a question of many [TS]

  questions you ask yourself what is the [TS]

  uniform of the day is a question that [TS]

  you asked okay that's one part that's [TS]

  130 that is terrific question to ask on [TS]

  a lot of levels but then if i may say [TS]

  I think then the other question the [TS]

  answer you're waiting for is witch hat [TS]

  will speak to me and tell me what the [TS]

  uniform of the day is and if they don't [TS]

  speak it's like it's like oh no Thomas [TS]

  Church just as long as it takes you just [TS]

  wait till somebody at the spirit moves [TS]

  them maybe somebody that has not gonna [TS]

  talk [TS]

  that's absolutely right like for [TS]

  instance if you are wearing an overcoat [TS]

  i'm not talking about a jacket talk [TS]

  about an overcoat you can't wear a ski [TS]

  hat the proportions are not right it's [TS]

  just not right [TS]

  make sure pinheaded you wear a ski hat [TS]

  with a jacket but this morning so this [TS]

  is and you're right you're absolutely [TS]

  right looking back in my thought process [TS]

  what's the uniform of the day I i put on [TS]

  a sweater and then I was like I want to [TS]

  go a little bit i'm going to go a little [TS]

  bit higher than a jacket and I put on an [TS]

  overcoat and the overcoat was the one [TS]

  that picked the Hat right and I wasn't [TS]

  aware of that i was walking around the [TS]

  house in an overcoat and I went for my [TS]

  basket of hats and the overcoat said hey [TS]

  pal what the plucky doing and just [TS]

  guided me over to the christmas tree of [TS]

  fedoras the christmas tree of Stanton's [TS]

  Stetsons stack I today feels like a [TS]

  Homburg it's 43 degrees and rainy [TS]

  homburg well so this is a wide brim [TS]

  steps and prob [TS]

  it's an imperial Stetson and it is and [TS]

  and it was formerly owned by HK robins [TS]

  and it was sold this is the wonderful [TS]

  thing it was sold at the Bernie at the [TS]

  Bernie cuts hat store at 310 union [TS]

  street seattle so the Hat is original to [TS]

  Seattle and Bernie nuts is still in [TS]

  business here last haberdasher in [TS]

  downtown but this hat is from 1930 Wow [TS]

  and it's very very worn but but well [TS]

  well one and it's it's a wide brim but [TS]

  the brims turned up all the way around [TS]

  right there it's not like down it's not [TS]

  it's not a come up and see me sometime [TS]

  sweetheart [TS]

  Pat it's more like Jim Norton had it's [TS]

  like hey yeah yeah that's that's that's [TS]

  a good look but it's got a pretty broad [TS]

  brim specially cut in the front right [TS]

  yeah well all around the [TS]

  rim is what two-and-a-half three inches [TS]

  even yeah and it's it's like it's green [TS]

  it's kind of khaki green and it has a [TS]

  very wide ribbon around the brim that [TS]

  was once pink and has now darkened to [TS]

  like dusty rose and the whole hat is [TS]

  dusty sort of dusty like the tom petty [TS]

  video I don't come around here no more [TS]

  well know the one where they ride their [TS]

  motorcycles to the video game parlor in [TS]

  the desert in a post-apocalyptic [TS]

  landscape which one is that it's sort of [TS]

  dusty like that like it's stylish but [TS]

  understated well so I so I walk out of [TS]

  the house I'm sorry I that would be you [TS]

  got lucky you got lucky babe a great [TS]

  video very you know very much ahead of [TS]

  its time and so I walk out and i'm [TS]

  wearing an overcoat and this and this [TS]

  happen it's just like it's been crushed [TS]

  and mushed over the years and it just [TS]

  has so much character and I felt a [TS]

  little bit like do I have this much [TS]

  character [TS]

  yep there's a lot of character here and [TS]

  but you know I caught my reflection in a [TS]

  piece of plate glass window is walking [TS]

  along and I'm like I mean yeah I this is [TS]

  good i go this way I'm a middle-aged guy [TS]

  now I could start wearing that this kind [TS]

  of hat [TS]

  nobody would blink an eye uh-huh but [TS]

  somewhere inside myself I would be like [TS]

  wow this is pretty heavy this feels like [TS]

  something I should if I was going to do [TS]

  this now i should have been doing this [TS]

  all along I don't know it's hard to [TS]

  inhabit a hat but you want it you want [TS]

  it you got it there with you now I got [TS]

  here i'm looking at i'm so proud of it i [TS]

  love the Hat is a thing is photos [TS]

  beautiful do you think you did the right [TS]

  thing I'm you know what I'm gonna walk [TS]

  out of here after after we get done with [TS]

  our program going to walk around the [TS]

  town in this overcoat and hat i'm going [TS]

  to see what happens [TS]

  how long's the overcoat the overcoat [TS]

  itself is a beautiful thing it's a [TS]

  double-breasted overcoat first of all [TS]

  it's also from the forties itself a [TS]

  retired pins right it's a peak lapel [TS]

  double-breasted herringbone [TS]

  overcoat but it's blue a dark blue and [TS]

  uh it's a dynamite overcoat the whole [TS]

  the whole thing is unimpeachable [TS]

  nobody's I mean the only looks i'm going [TS]

  to get our low [TS]

  hot front i'm inside this spacesuit and [TS]

  I'm like do I look like a swing dancer [TS]

  this episode of rock on the line is [TS]

  brought to you by Casper to learn more [TS]

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  looked it up earlier this week and it [TS]

  looks like i have now been sleeping on [TS]

  my own Casper mattress for just about 14 [TS]

  months now and i gotta say i love this [TS]

  thing every night i love the quality of [TS]

  the product i love the quality the sleep [TS]

  that I get but you know what all this [TS]

  over a year later I still am so pleasing [TS]

  Lee stunned at how easy this company is [TS]

  to deal with just how painless they have [TS]

  made this entire process or try to go in [TS]

  and go to one of those mattress places [TS]

  where is wearing neckties and want to [TS]

  lay on the bed like a monster [TS]

  no you don't want to do that you want to [TS]

  go with Casper because with Casper a [TS]

  surprisingly small box magically appears [TS]

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  it's actually that easy and it is [TS]

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  cast Presents special offer to listeners [TS]

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  do apply our thanks to Casper for the [TS]

  great night sleep and for supporting [TS]

  Roderick on the line that's what I want [TS]

  to look like not bound pattern and I'm [TS]

  gonna have bad that and he's Jessica [TS]

  Rabbit [TS]

  no that's not what i want i want to look [TS]

  like a fucking I want to look like a [TS]

  detective lost in time [TS]

  mm-hmm you know I want to look like [TS]

  somebody that the years are irrelevant [TS]

  to write some timeless timeless thank [TS]

  you and and so I mean you know I don't [TS]

  want to i want to get out there and and [TS]

  feel like somebody in the Brian Setzer [TS]

  video so so I don't know I you know the [TS]

  jury's out right [TS]

  you need to be comfortable in your own [TS]

  herringbone I think we can all agree on [TS]

  that at first for sure but at the same [TS]

  time I you know I look at your selfies [TS]

  and you're getting very stately you I [TS]

  could totally see you in that particular [TS]

  uniform of the day I don't think it's [TS]

  weird it would be weird and creepy if [TS]

  like a java programmers 20 dress like [TS]

  that you're right you're right but I you [TS]

  know you know you you do you you know [TS]

  what's right for you [TS]

  the thing is a java programmer in his [TS]

  twenties would be buying all this stuff [TS]

  on some kind of like Australian website [TS]

  right it wouldn't be I mean I've had [TS]

  this for Doran he gets a box-to-box [TS]

  delivered once a month with a thing it [TS]

  has [TS]

  thing right I've had this four-door for [TS]

  25 years and I've worn it plenty of [TS]

  times but not that many times frankly in [TS]

  the 25 years i've owned it i probably [TS]

  wanted 25 times it's not like it was [TS]

  ever a regular part of my thing but I've [TS]

  had it and I look at and i put it you [TS]

  know what I do I put it on I wear around [TS]

  the house and then when it's time to go [TS]

  out of the door I I like I got stopped [TS]

  at the door and I'm like mm maybe I [TS]

  should there have been plenty of times [TS]

  where I've worn it out the door and then [TS]

  talk taking it off to get in my car and [TS]

  throw it on the back seat of the car and [TS]

  then it rolled around with me for a [TS]

  couple of weeks and I never was like I [TS]

  should I should wear the hat out out of [TS]

  the car right uh-huh [TS]

  anyway so here I am bold new world I but [TS]

  somebody said to me the other day [TS]

  whatever happened here's your your [TS]

  hoodies used to wear hoodies all time [TS]

  and now you're always dressed up like in [TS]

  it in a tie my kind of that kind of [TS]

  change gears a little bit and they and [TS]

  they expressed they expressed the desire [TS]

  to see some hoodies in the mix I was [TS]

  like wow somebody out in the world wants [TS]

  me to be a little casual sometimes and [TS]

  and if one person says it then 10 people [TS]

  are thinking it had a thing about you [TS]

  it seems to me is that is the level of [TS]

  thought and a level of commitment where [TS]

  it isn't like you just put on the same [TS]

  sweat pants you wore yesterday and now [TS]

  that's casual wear it seems to me that [TS]

  even when you're choosing sportswear or [TS]

  if you're going to be yachting or [TS]

  pretending the yacht whatever it is that [TS]

  you're going to do you you put a lot of [TS]

  care into that and deciding what casual [TS]

  look you'll be going for [TS]

  well you select from different pieces [TS]

  and parts you say what is the uniform of [TS]

  the day you asked aloud and then and [TS]

  then the answer comes to what somebody [TS]

  was teasing me up in a separate [TS]

  conversation some other number of days [TS]

  ago where they said how long did it take [TS]

  you to put that outfit together and one [TS]

  of the other keys to me is that you [TS]

  should never spend more than five [TS]

  minutes thinking about your own song [TS]

  don't you know any precious no se wake [TS]

  up in the morning you say what's the [TS]

  uniform of the day and then you [TS]

  immediately move toward it and you're [TS]

  putting it you're you're compiling your [TS]

  composing rather composing your [TS]

  composing that uniform of the day [TS]

  I as you also make your way through your [TS]

  house making some microwave coffee [TS]

  it's like a painting made of garments [TS]

  right you're snacking on something and [TS]

  you're like what's the what's the [TS]

  you-know-what what goes over the shirts [TS]

  what goes what is the time but your butt [TS]

  five minutes is all you should put into [TS]

  that pop ow and then you walk out the [TS]

  door and you're committed to you [TS]

  committed to what you've done you put [TS]

  together a thing it's very impression [TS]

  mystic and then you get you enjoying the [TS]

  day and today at just I went that extra [TS]

  something happened the coat pick the hat [TS]

  and then I was on to a different thing I [TS]

  was I'm maybe this is the with some kind [TS]

  of turn [TS]

  yeah i think i think it's i think it's a [TS]

  great way to go i think having that I [TS]

  think confidence is a nice thing to have [TS]

  confidence in knowing that even if it's [TS]

  not perfect you can live with your [TS]

  decisions in a way that you're not [TS]

  constantly looking back that to me is a [TS]

  form of confidence doesn't mean that [TS]

  you're always right [TS]

  it means that you have a level of [TS]

  commitment to say this is the thing that [TS]

  I'm going to do it may not be perfect [TS]

  but i'm not going to second-guess myself [TS]

  all day can't second-guess yourself a [TS]

  guy in a hatchet not be second-guessing [TS]

  is absolutely not people will see that [TS]

  you'll see that a mile away that God [TS]

  doesn't that guy hasn't heard that he [TS]

  doesn't think he has this quality looked [TS]

  up I remember reading some college in [TS]

  this is Tom one of the Tom Wolfe essays [TS]

  his accent arrived mysteriously one day [TS]

  in a box from London intrigued he [TS]

  slapped into his mouth like a set of [TS]

  teeth [TS]

  it seemed right and that's how i feel [TS]

  when i wear a hat that's nice what [TS]

  Garnett and think about an overcoat to [TS]

  is you can wear an overcoat in a in a [TS]

  John bender way your you got an overcoat [TS]

  fingerless gloves contender on bender [TS]

  from from from the breakfast club [TS]

  Oh bender sure bender yeah right you got [TS]

  an overcoat on [TS]

  yeah but you weren't fingerless gloves [TS]

  and a hoodie so that's a whole different [TS]

  we're going different directions are [TS]

  going to put a fedora on with that it's [TS]

  almost like a druid or got not gods but [TS]

  i do it [TS]

  I mean he's got the motorcycle boots [TS]

  he's got the yeah he's he's he's in a [TS]

  that's a different kind of overcooked [TS]

  and then frankly a very [TS]

  eighties overcoat uh-huh because that [TS]

  was the same overcoat I've got here it [TS]

  was from the forties or fifties but it [TS]

  was being really appropriate in the [TS]

  eighties as a like punk rock item [TS]

  remember when you walk into a good i [TS]

  hate to bring this up again but you [TS]

  remember that do you remember you can [TS]

  walk into a goodwill and as a question [TS]

  of which overcoat that fit you and from [TS]

  the fifties you're going to spend four [TS]

  to six dollars on [TS]

  oh do I remember maybe ten bucks but I [TS]

  mean either i just remember I didn't [TS]

  have a lot of dough at the time that I [TS]

  was going to three stores which is a [TS]

  nice combination but i would go in there [TS]

  and I buy a lot of shirts that I wear [TS]

  punk rock t-shirt and then some kind of [TS]

  a slightly ironic vintage shirt over it [TS]

  and this is me in 1986 and i rarely paid [TS]

  more than two dollars for sure but I [TS]

  think what's happening to me now at age [TS]

  47 which let that reverberate for a [TS]

  minute and 10 th i'll be in 10 days I'll [TS]

  be 49 49 and just listen to that coo 47 [TS]

  powerbomb what is that [TS]

  47 49 what kind of ages are these those [TS]

  are ages approximating 50 which is some [TS]

  kind of thing I never thought I would [TS]

  see like Archie Bunker aged right we're [TS]

  getting there at any other time in [TS]

  history we would be fully vested as men [TS]

  trending two old men any other age [TS]

  revealed that right we would be sitting [TS]

  we would be sitting on a on a ragged [TS]

  couch with one hand down the front of [TS]

  our pants and upset a cigar and we be [TS]

  yelling at somebody [TS]

  yeah but here we are not doing that [TS]

  anyway I think what's happening to me is [TS]

  that all through the eighties I was [TS]

  buying those those john f kennedy suits [TS]

  at thrift stores [TS]

  at thrift stores [TS]

  for two dollars and then I don't know [TS]

  what to do with them and put them in the [TS]

  closet and because I never throw [TS]

  anything away [TS]

  I got to be 47 years old I opened opened [TS]

  this like old cedar chest and I had 25 [TS]

  Kennedy suits in there and I things I [TS]

  had all these fedoras that I've been [TS]

  collecting at thrift stores my whole [TS]

  life collecting them as just like oh [TS]

  that's a beautiful old thing it's only [TS]

  two dollars i'll buy it and then but i'm [TS]

  actually walking around town in hoodies [TS]

  so i put in a cedar chest and then when [TS]

  i move i carry the cedar chest from [TS]

  place to place and it's like a [TS]

  sarcophagus for filled with the filled [TS]

  with the like garment history of the [TS]

  united states i got to be in my mid [TS]

  forties and I was like I i can still [TS]

  wear all these clothes that i bought in [TS]

  high school and the same size [TS]

  yeah and so I started wearing them I you [TS]

  know I started wearing this stuff that [TS]

  that I'd that I've been slapping and and [TS]

  so I think part of the fun of it is that [TS]

  these garments even though they're very [TS]

  old and predated me they've also been [TS]

  with me for years [TS]

  they're double old their double old [TS]

  that's right I've been trying these [TS]

  things on and walking around my own [TS]

  house and going like isn't this a cool [TS]

  thing and then taking it off and putting [TS]

  on a hoodie and walking out of the house [TS]

  and I finally was like I'm just gonna [TS]

  walk out of the house in these things [TS]

  and then all of a sudden I was mr. fancy [TS]

  mm and it's it's pretty fun [TS]

  yeah yeah I i hope you find i hope you [TS]

  come to find more comfort with your [TS]

  habits you should you should be [TS]

  comfortable with you with yourself [TS]

  I'm I you know clearly i am but I just [TS]

  but I'm but I'm also the problem is [TS]

  Merlin that thinking is not our friend [TS]

  I've been trying to ask you not to think [TS]

  for a while now thinking is a bad thing [TS]

  thank you never helped anybody got it [TS]

  just takes up all the it just burns all [TS]

  the fuel and it produces nothing but [TS]

  steam [TS]

  ya know people one of the big problems [TS]

  of thinking is people rarely do thinking [TS]

  at the time it would be most useful [TS]

  mm no I mean honestly I mean you know [TS]

  people like still thinking about it [TS]

  well you know thinking about stuff is [TS]

  useful a long time ago like once [TS]

  something is already thinking about [TS]

  audit is it could be it's better than [TS]

  not thinking about it but really a lot [TS]

  of a lot of thinking that would have led [TS]

  into different decisions would have been [TS]

  better a while back [TS]

  that's right but in this case it's like [TS]

  aging wine or something it's like in [TS]

  this case you've got these things that [TS]

  just it's just not ready yet [TS]

  the match is not there yet you have not [TS]

  find found the meal to prepare that wine [TS]

  with or in this case maybe the the [TS]

  herringbone just isn't ready and now [TS]

  it's ready it's ready taken out by [TS]

  jumping him but i think i'm thinking [TS]

  back to a time when I was 12 years old [TS]

  and so in anchorage in the seventies i [TS]

  think i've talked about this before but [TS]

  the culture American culture arrived in [TS]

  Anchorage with a considerable time lag [TS]

  so in 1978 it was likes 1976 everywhere [TS]

  else in 1980 it was still kind of 1978 i [TS]

  like it i can add you know what I mean [TS]

  like we were not we were not on the on [TS]

  the bleeding edge of of culture and so [TS]

  in 1980 ed down in Girdwood Alaska at [TS]

  the alyeska hotel at underneath the six [TS]

  mark bar lounge [TS]

  there was a multi-purpose room and the [TS]

  hotel never quite knew what to do with [TS]

  it and they opened a a youth disco in [TS]

  1980 and on saturday friday and saturday [TS]

  nights it was it something something is [TS]

  poorly translated from russian it [TS]

  that's right under the Indian young [TS]

  people in their companions had spent the [TS]

  evening at the youth in school and if it [TS]

  had you just go and I swear to you right [TS]

  now somewhere in bratislava slovakia yep [TS]

  there is a there is a place that says [TS]

  you just go outside [TS]

  that's one word oh yeah maybe maybe but [TS]

  maybe the disco with AK but it's [TS]

  absolutely youth disco and so this was [TS]

  the youth disco it was 80 and and so [TS]

  most of us work at least a little bit [TS]

  conscious of the fact that disco also [TS]

  sucked by now right the world had turned [TS]

  against Disko but this was a thing no [TS]

  one had ever thought [TS]

  give the youth of Mount Alyeska anything [TS]

  to do on weekend nights and I think [TS]

  that's why most of us were getting drunk [TS]

  and stealing our parents cars huh [TS]

  and so somebody said hey that [TS]

  multi-purpose room at the bottom of the [TS]

  hotel [TS]

  let's turn it into a youth disco and for [TS]

  a couple of years maybe 8282 it was a [TS]

  youth disco and it actually attracted [TS]

  kids huh [TS]

  and they would play disco music and we [TS]

  would all go and we would dance and you [TS]

  know it's a it's a ski resort it's [TS]

  freezing cold outside you have to wear [TS]

  your sorel zovirax to the disco and [TS]

  quite a few of the kids like didn't have [TS]

  a change of shoes so there were dancing [TS]

  and Sorel 'he's but that was all we knew [TS]

  at one night on my way to the youth [TS]

  disco I'm I'm what 12 years old i'm i'm [TS]

  deciding what the outfit of the day is [TS]

  and i put on a deerstalker hat now it's [TS]

  your stalker that number 5 hat know it [TS]

  well yeah it's your stalker is the armor [TS]

  for this the Sherlock Holmes me Sherlock [TS]

  Holmes rai Ignatius Riley no no Sherlock [TS]

  Holmes come a bit building the front [TS]

  bill in the back woo and you're swell 12 [TS]

  years old and Sherlock Holmes hat and an [TS]

  ear flaps the tie on the top with a [TS]

  ribbon for the you know and this [TS]

  particular one was made out of tweed but [TS]

  in addition to being made out of tweet [TS]

  it was made out of up it was made out of [TS]

  patches of tweed so all the patches were [TS]

  slightly different colors and types of [TS]

  tweet things a little ribbon ties on top [TS]

  was a patchwork of weed in a deerstalker [TS]

  with the yet with the ribbon the ties on [TS]

  top and there was one of those around [TS]

  our house because my dad was a little [TS]

  bit of a eclectic kook and I'm sure he [TS]

  bought it in Ireland brought it on me [TS]

  never wore it and i'm walking out of the [TS]

  house i'm going to use disco I wanted [TS]

  like the outfit of the day has got a [TS]

  it's got a crackle offer I've got my [TS]

  I've got my moon boots on right that [TS]

  some of us weren't surrounds a lot of us [TS]

  were moon boots and I was in Boots got [TS]

  my moon boots on I put on the I put on [TS]

  the deerstalker and I head into the [TS]

  youth disco I'm standing there and and I [TS]

  realized that your stalker is not is not [TS]

  very disco right it's not well look too [TS]

  eclectic the moon the moon boots i could [TS]

  own but the Juris Doctor just isn't it's [TS]

  not saying disco to anybody but even at [TS]

  that age I felt like look you walked [TS]

  into this disco in a function gears [TS]

  darker and you're gonna walk out of this [TS]

  just going into your stalker you're not [TS]

  you're not there's nowhere to put it [TS]

  you're not going to take it off and [TS]

  stuff it somewhere and that's what no [TS]

  that's what they know there's no check [TS]

  out the youth disco right and that that [TS]

  is what any normal kid would do any [TS]

  normal kid who made it as far as the [TS]

  front door the disco in a deerstalker [TS]

  which is not very many normal kids but [TS]

  any normal kid at that point would say I [TS]

  your stalker off uh-huh and 20 minutes [TS]

  from now nobody's going to remember it [TS]

  but I was like fuck that I'm I'm here [TS]

  I'm queer get used to it uh-huh and I [TS]

  spent that whole night dancing in that [TS]

  deerstalker hat and it was going well [TS]

  like i was even I was dancing with a [TS]

  girl she had not remarked upon it I felt [TS]

  like this is great and I'm looking [TS]

  around and I'm having a good time and [TS]

  there's a there's a kid and maybe a [TS]

  little bit older than me 14 and he's [TS]

  making out with his girlfriend and that [TS]

  was kind of I was astonishing [TS]

  you know like publicly making out at the [TS]

  youth disco was a little bit of a big [TS]

  deal and so I was looking at him [TS]

  we're dancing i'm looking at mine that I [TS]

  can make it out that's like almost [TS]

  having sex [TS]

  uh-huh and the guy looked he's making [TS]

  out there he looks over sees me looking [TS]

  at him [TS]

  walks over on the dance floor and says [TS]

  hey Sherlock why don't you investigate [TS]

  somebody else [TS]

  oh that is good right Oh 14 years old [TS]

  and this guy's got that kind of fucking [TS]

  kapow now he's probably still working on [TS]

  the ski lift right now [TS]

  hey guys 50 years old and he's he's [TS]

  running a ski lift but at the time he [TS]

  burned me he seems to me and he was [TS]

  right I was fucking Sherlock and I [TS]

  should've been investigating somebody [TS]

  else is investigating the girl I was [TS]

  dancing really really give you something [TS]

  to think about he did and you know and [TS]

  what he did was he there that that deer [TS]

  stalker was already covered in a [TS]

  ectoplasm shame but he then walked over [TS]

  and set that ectoplasm on fire and I [TS]

  didn't even know it burn [TS]

  I didn't even know it will burn never [TS]

  saw it coming and so I walked out of [TS]

  there just steam coming off that have [TS]

  and I never was able to you know it went [TS]

  back into my dad's like hat his own [TS]

  Christmas tree of hats and it just SAT [TS]

  there in every time I walk past it would [TS]

  sing that little song to me Sherlock [TS]

  just like Hawking but that's that's part [TS]

  of the problem that you usually like [TS]

  you're not wearing a lot of novelty bits [TS]

  today i would say the deerstalker let's [TS]

  put it this way if there is a kind of [TS]

  hat that is so closely associated with [TS]

  associate with a person character or [TS]

  even occupation that you can call it [TS]

  that that might be a little gimmicky [TS]

  that hat just has one it was a it has [TS]

  one purpose it to make you look like [TS]

  Sherlock Holmes that's right so they got [TS]

  the elmer fudd hat you got the flaps you [TS]

  get the jug hat with little crown can't [TS]

  really wear a jug head you can wear no [TS]

  more fried because it can also be [TS]

  Ignatius j Riley that's true that's a [TS]

  great look but dad but but you're not [TS]

  doing that though I mean what we like [TS]

  Andre Braugher like that's a good look i [TS]

  would look like Andre Braugher a [TS]

  heartbeat [TS]

  yeah i mean like i can wear the shit out [TS]

  of a hat in the Hat that i'm wearing [TS]

  presently there are enough people out [TS]

  there i mean i-i thought about it on the [TS]

  way to the show and I actually tweeted [TS]

  about it before we started that it if [TS]

  you are when you go to the tattoo parlor [TS]

  you get your 25th tattoo [TS]

  they're obligated to give you a fedora [TS]

  its part it's part of the culture and so [TS]

  there are plenty of people walking [TS]

  around with a fedora with an upturn brim [TS]

  uh-huh and and very few of them have as [TS]

  much story behind their head as i have [TS]

  yeah it's just that I don't see myself [TS]

  as one of those people you know like i [TS]

  don't i'm not wearing creepers and a [TS]

  watch on a chain so i have to be coming [TS]

  from a very different place with it and [TS]

  and it's frankly the and it's unclear [TS]

  with that places you don't think you're [TS]

  a ska band right i am not a saxophone [TS]

  player [TS]

  ah we need to get grants and offer [TS]

  scholarships [TS]

  however the as i understand it the key [TS]

  to getting grants to have a grant writer [TS]

  yep and write themselves and so and I [TS]

  meet people all the time when I say what [TS]

  do you say what a nice to meet you what [TS]

  do you do I'm a grant writer huh [TS]

  and I just fucking drop the scissors [TS]

  right I'm like you're a great writer [TS]

  that's fantastic i'm meeting you in the [TS]

  Rye like I should we should collaborate [TS]

  I need grants and they go oh well you [TS]

  know typically I right medical grants [TS]

  all rights you know perpetrator but I'm [TS]

  like doesn't matter if you can write a [TS]

  grant and helped me a lot of it's like [TS]

  knowing how to format in Microsoft Word [TS]

  yeah yeah well I think it's just filling [TS]

  out a form it's like if you're a [TS]

  scriptwriter like no matter how good [TS]

  your script is if it's not in the format [TS]

  the script needs to be in nobody's gonna [TS]

  read past the first page that's right [TS]

  in this case it didn't need to grant [TS]

  know whether the whether that's for MIT [TS]

  program for women from Saudi Arabia or [TS]

  you know whatever it is we would ask for [TS]

  money for a lot of lines you know intern [TS]

  program for new zealand youth related [TS]

  activities special projects we did we [TS]

  could use a fun for special projects so [TS]

  what like where who what what who would [TS]

  be would be asking for a distraction the [TS]

  robert wood johnson foundation that's [TS]

  nice [TS]

  or the the oven Sarah Williams [TS]

  foundation the MacArthur Foundation look [TS]

  MacArthur geniuses macarthur genius [TS]

  grant ah there's a lot of places that we [TS]

  could go i don't think they like being [TS]

  called a genius grant i think that puts [TS]

  me off the beer a little bit you know [TS]

  you know every once in a while the [TS]

  United States realizes that they never [TS]

  gave any medals of Honor to any [TS]

  african-american soldiers in world war [TS]

  one and they try to write that injustice [TS]

  and they posthumously decide that that [TS]

  four different african-american soldiers [TS]

  from war one actually deserved medals of [TS]

  honor and didn't receive them because of [TS]

  a systemic racism and then they are [TS]

  retro actively awarded the Medal of [TS]

  Honor and it's handed to their [TS]

  grandchildren in a ceremony at the White [TS]

  House [TS]

  thank you for your service that's right [TS]

  thank you for that you know like that we [TS]

  are writing a historic wrong it's a [TS]

  comedy called retroactive continuity [TS]

  Oh exactly back to change the story you [TS]

  say you know actually no magnetic is a [TS]

  magneto was at the ash words exactly or [TS]

  uh as the Mormons do like uh we are [TS]

  retro actively baptized and all of your [TS]

  dead relatives into the normal church so [TS]

  that they can stop being in whatever [TS]

  Mormon purgatory [TS]

  yes area and they now can call utah [TS]

  that's right and now they can enter into [TS]

  the kingdom of heaven even though [TS]

  they've been dead first huge huge retcon [TS]

  next Monster people for that the sponsor [TS]

  people for that I think so i think [TS]

  there's something you go into the temple [TS]

  and you and you do some thing there are [TS]

  curtains you go through so this is like [TS]

  a duck pond [TS]

  you coming to pick a doctors got the [TS]

  name of somebody on their oh wow ok [TS]

  alright that's a sponsor you you've got [TS]

  John johansson love provo utah and like [TS]

  that you get a sponsor him you know what [TS]

  I think it's a duck pond but really you [TS]

  stand on the short you try and throw a [TS]

  ring around the neck of the doc let's [TS]

  get quite program [TS]

  yeah so you're hit you're hooking rings [TS]

  and then you get a ring around a duck [TS]

  who you pull the duck and the name [TS]

  that's under the name that's taped to [TS]

  the underside of the duck is the person [TS]

  that could get into heaven [TS]

  i mean i don't know i don't know all the [TS]

  doctrine of the mormon church but it [TS]

  seems like that's not a lot is a lot of [TS]

  reading so i have so many kids they [TS]

  split up the books between the different [TS]

  individuals it's a lot of scholarship [TS]

  the book of Raymond the book of love [TS]

  it'll kill ya but people you know people [TS]

  love carnival games I I saw it I saw it [TS]

  on Saturday people love carnival games [TS]

  love quotes or ducks [TS]

  I know they do i what [TS]

  my entire youth I i spent at the [TS]

  carnival throwing darts at balloons that [TS]

  stretchy Pepsi bottle like one of the [TS]

  stretchy Pepsi bottle i wanted the the [TS]

  dog leash with the invisible dog [TS]

  remember the invisible dog course we [TS]

  talked about 25 at the and I wanted the [TS]

  coke mirror and I said that said a thing [TS]

  in there maybe fridays coming [TS]

  well that one or are you know i was i [TS]

  was pretty into the band heart and I was [TS]

  like cooking here with that with heart [TS]

  wasn't weird i totally had Barracuda in [TS]

  my head all morning and keep them to get [TS]

  integrated ultraman our town they eat up [TS]

  their work and a cochlear with harder [TS]

  than and then dreamboat annie on it like [TS]

  fucking throw darts at a balloon all [TS]

  afternoon but I'm I feel like retro [TS]

  actively we're gonna get some kind of [TS]

  award 11 our fans get off their asses [TS]

  and stop sending us weird tweets and [TS]

  start putting that energy into giving us [TS]

  itunes recommendations so [TS]

  oh yeah we got some kind of Irving [TS]

  Thalberg award version for podcasting [TS]

  exactly that's going to be like hey you [TS]

  know what these guys invented a thing [TS]

  uh-huh which was a you know slightly [TS]

  different modification on a previous [TS]

  thing and actually long-standing thing [TS]

  but their mom they're mod turned it was [TS]

  like it was like nobody wanted to buy a [TS]

  Segway who which turned the segue into [TS]

  one of those hoverboards and now all of [TS]

  a sudden everything you know I know [TS]

  there are two guys in my neighborhood [TS]

  who drive those hoverboards around there [TS]

  aren't even in sidewalks and act like [TS]

  it's normal [TS]

  they're just like I myself on my hover [TS]

  board with ground effects lights rolling [TS]

  around the neighborhood and I'm like you [TS]

  wouldn't be on a Segway to save your [TS]

  life but you take the take the [TS]

  handlebars off of it and all of a sudden [TS]

  that's the mod that now there are [TS]

  Norwegian guys going through airports on [TS]

  them [TS]

  yep the kids in my neighborhood in the [TS]

  in the hoodies are rolling around on [TS]

  hoverboards I think that's like that's [TS]

  like us i think we are the hoverboard of [TS]

  the segway of podcasting [TS]

  very very well played I I you know thank [TS]

  you for our services i like to say I was [TS]

  don't please don't wait until we die [TS]

  don't get our ancestors give it to us [TS]

  and then let us let us share that with [TS]

  others through our grant program that [TS]

  will do something [TS]

  theoretically imagine trotting out [TS]

  Merlin man's grandkids and John Roberts [TS]

  grandkids and saying hey thank you for [TS]

  your grandparents service you know what [TS]

  it is it's like Bill and Ted's Excellent [TS]

  Adventure is going to be you know [TS]

  Clarence Clemons and George Carlin [TS]

  George Carlin sitting up doing this like [TS]

  weird ritual waving of their hands in a [TS]

  in a windmill of a guitar motion [TS]

  yes there'll be saying thank you thank [TS]

  you [TS]

  lourdes lords and masters and we're [TS]

  gonna be like what good does that do us [TS]

  were fuckin dead our brains or anything [TS]

  I just saying the other day like I'd [TS]

  always known the name Alan to so tucson [TS]

  tucson Todd and and you know I know the [TS]

  name I knew he was kind of famous I [TS]

  never knew why then I heard two [TS]

  different uh you know a posthumous [TS]

  interviews with him in the same day last [TS]

  week I was like god damn it god fucking [TS]

  dammit not only does this guy right to [TS]

  this guy right tons of songs that i [TS]

  really like he's obviously an incredible [TS]

  gentlemen like a desperately talented [TS]

  man with amazing range yeah and the [TS]

  ability to play just anything read his [TS]

  wikipedia page it's like a history of [TS]

  western music oh my gosh it's amazing [TS]

  what you know he wrote down with cream [TS]

  from the dough makes made famous by her [TS]

  about burton digging and other delights [TS]

  yeah the dating game song he wrote that [TS]

  and that's like god damn it why do I [TS]

  only ever learn about these interesting [TS]

  people after they died in and then Terry [TS]

  Gross is out for the day [TS]

  yeah it makes me so sad why you know [TS]

  don't do that with us [TS]

  don't do that don't wait till we die I i [TS]

  was fortunate enough to get introduced [TS]

  willing to saw by Elvis Costello who did [TS]

  a tour [TS]

  oh yeah and a lot of people recommend [TS]

  the album he did and so I I i was at [TS]

  bonnaroo against that they they played a [TS]

  bar when i was on the side of the stage [TS]

  and he said he was an incredible piano [TS]

  player 2 and Elvis was you know they're [TS]

  like you can say a lot of things about [TS]

  Elvis Costello but [TS]

  one of the one of the great things about [TS]

  him is that he definitely puts the [TS]

  spotlight on people that he admires I [TS]

  like this thing with burt bacharach like [TS]

  be so gracious about that so he was just [TS]

  like onstage just like check out the man [TS]

  and uh and there was no denying it and [TS]

  then I was i I was transformed by that [TS]

  but that's but you're absolutely right [TS]

  like I mean we don't you and I do not to [TS]

  our own horn but let's be honest I don't [TS]

  even have a horn but here's the thing [TS]

  the people that should be Tooting our [TS]

  horn are not tuning loud enough they're [TS]

  out there I don't know where they're [TS]

  tuning their tune into each other [TS]

  yeah and it's like yeah you guys already [TS]

  know you guys know who would it [TS]

  you should go down to the student center [TS]

  and you should be wearing a sandwich [TS]

  board says Roger on the line [TS]

  yep and you should be handed out what [TS]

  people are gonna be asking you some [TS]

  questions about what you want a sandwich [TS]

  board you can explain [TS]

  yeah you can say listen I'm not here to [TS]

  tell you about Jehovah i'm going to tell [TS]

  you about a different kind of job you [TS]

  should know somebody with a better [TS]

  marketing plan is probably going to be [TS]

  the one who's on the wikipedia page for [TS]

  Thought technology not gonna be you will [TS]

  be some something headed the briefcase [TS]

  carrying doofus academic yeah it's gonna [TS]

  be where's our and they're [TS]

  gonna be they're gonna be making dollars [TS]

  hand over fist or I hear it all the time [TS]

  people walking around all the great [TS]

  shows and I like what the fuck are you [TS]

  talking about all the great shows and he [TS]

  put on a t-shirt somebody tried looking [TS]

  at an empty inbox on your phone [TS]

  haha where's my bell [TS]

  I I somebody came up to me the other day [TS]

  and they were like and then they leaned [TS]

  in and whispered it's my good friend [TS]

  Kyle MacAllister leaned in and whispered [TS]

  in my ear tips you would know the answer [TS]

  to this is inbox zeros to laughing what [TS]

  did you tell him what you tell cow was [TS]

  like I think there are a lot of people [TS]

  who still aspire to inbox zero over i [TS]

  think it I think it entered into the [TS]

  culture and it became a thing became an [TS]

  aspirational thing sort of like losing [TS]

  10 pounds and all the people are like I [TS]

  we got to lose 10 pounds and this is the [TS]

  year it's like I've really got it really [TS]

  got inbox zero like communism [TS]

  I mean a lot of people heard about it [TS]

  but they never bothered to read anything [TS]

  about what it actually means and so they [TS]

  just man I thought about this the other [TS]

  day the strength of a religion who is in [TS]

  how it is translated to people who are [TS]

  not paying attention who are who are not [TS]

  prepared to read the book and who are [TS]

  not who want her there looking for a [TS]

  religion and they want one that the [TS]

  garbled translation makes sense [TS]

  uh right so wherever the messaging the [TS]

  branding that the bullet points the [TS]

  elevator pitch can all make it through [TS]

  the mangling of something like it [TS]

  doesn't really understand it that's [TS]

  right because every religion is [TS]

  basically a game of telephone and the [TS]

  original story then you know that you [TS]

  whisper it to somebody they whispered to [TS]

  the guy next to them and pretty soon [TS]

  it's like oh well apparently you throw a [TS]

  ring around the neck of a duck in your [TS]

  your say somebody from purgatory your [TS]

  grandfather goes to heaven and your [TS]

  underwear does if that makes sense to [TS]

  people then that's then the religion [TS]

  takes off [TS]

  yeah and if it because nobody is reading [TS]

  the book and if you think about all the [TS]

  religions in the world right now they're [TS]

  all like the product of a game of [TS]

  telephone from the original story and [TS]

  you just go wow that's that's [TS]

  fascinating if I we're going to start [TS]

  really and that's the problem with [TS]

  Scientology obviously you know you stuff [TS]

  happens i know you hated I know you hate [TS]

  in our 20john I know you're pulling the [TS]

  blinds down on your office [TS]

  listen I can cut this show right now I [TS]

  can go back to the last thing well for [TS]

  Roderick said side the word Scientology [TS]

  because they've got a scrobbler was [TS]

  listening to every podcast what's inside [TS]

  donated so far this was somebody pulls [TS]

  up outside your house in a Lincoln [TS]

  Continental and they're like they're so [TS]

  we're looking to talk to you for a [TS]

  second [TS]

  pretty soon I'm not scrubbing floors in [TS]

  a trailer in Florida the breath of the [TS]

  problem with Scientology is the original [TS]

  book sounds like a game [TS]

  and so why was not gonna transplant yeah [TS]

  well you just gotta work up your OT [TS]

  levels [TS]

  oh yeah i right here yeah you know when [TS]

  you get ot for to have any idea you get [TS]

  30-45 you have any idea this is [TS]

  knowledge that will destroy you John [TS]

  ot4 heard that seems i think it survived [TS]

  i think it's OTC 5i feel like that's [TS]

  when they really open the books and [TS]

  that's that's when they've got their [TS]

  version of the dark night of the soul [TS]

  you find out what's really going on with [TS]

  that with the jets and stuff and this is [TS]

  where the right so and that's pretty [TS]

  early in the game right how many ot's [TS]

  are there you can add a lot over time [TS]

  there's a lot about a lot of OT [TS]

  inflation because of me it's like I said [TS]

  Mickey Mouse is about to go on a [TS]

  copyright they always extend copyright [TS]

  like as soon as Tom Cruise like needs [TS]

  needs a little goose and that's Amorites [TS]

  and this is the thing I never understood [TS]

  about the main note again here to your [TS]

  example it's like giving a six-star to [TS]

  General George Washington did they do [TS]

  that you have to give a six-star you [TS]

  look on the page i'm sure you have [TS]

  because we know you have to go to the [TS]

  page on us generals and say the whole [TS]

  history of all the stars the five-star [TS]

  generals you know not many five-star [TS]

  generals you have to be general of the [TS]

  army and we don't let those anymore but [TS]

  six stars come on fuck you [TS]

  yeah they had to make up a design for [TS]

  that's baloney [TS]

  mhm that's bloody i don't i don't [TS]

  endorse it you don't smoke I don't [TS]

  endorse that when you get where does it [TS]

  end where don't know many stars George [TS]

  Washington had fuck you stars [TS]

  barely got out of that [TS]