Roderick on the Line

Ep. 182: "House Trotter"


  I John hi Merlin how's it going good how [TS]

  are you this is this is weird this is [TS]

  where telling what we're doing so so as [TS]

  some of you as the regular listeners to [TS]

  this podcast know i'm driving across the [TS]

  West in my gmcr be and that the the trip [TS]

  has taken me to the san francisco [TS]

  california where one Merlin man lives [TS]

  and works and we are doing our [TS]

  first-ever podcast we're in the same [TS]

  room looking at each other [TS]

  it wasn't a hickey live event for like a [TS]

  fake company thing oh yeah we do that [TS]

  we've done live singing but even then [TS]

  we're not looking at each other we're [TS]

  both looking at the audience come riding [TS]

  the faders over here and you're in my [TS]

  nuts lately yeah meeting Marlins special [TS]

  not blend which you you you gave me the [TS]

  whole recipe for I won't reveal it to [TS]

  the audience [TS]

  yeah yeah yeahs fancy pancy not yeah put [TS]

  these together on my own with a variety [TS]

  of different walgreens premium that [TS]

  suggested you know we don't usually eat [TS]

  on the program better goddamn train [TS]

  since we're here in beautiful San [TS]

  Francisco why not too sure that sounds [TS]

  nuts already invented free love [TS]

  everything is ok here in trucks right so [TS]

  we're having a great time we moved out [TS]

  like nuts [TS]

  we're here together i'm in your office [TS]

  for the first time in all the years I've [TS]

  never been in this i don't have an [TS]

  office job [TS]

  oh yes I do yes I do but it is [TS]

  undisclosed location Yeah Yeah right [TS]

  I mean no one remembers your repurpose [TS]

  not to some marine layer over here by [TS]

  the Chrysler Building yeah well I just [TS]

  heard a strange sound rumbling it's like [TS]

  I somehow managed to get an office right [TS]

  next to wear a fucking Street car going [TS]

  by drawing now you're in the room 400 x [TS]

  0 nee so yeah they like rate i'm here in [TS]

  the room I see all of the lb x-men [TS]

  paraphernalia that i thought was just [TS]

  part of a bit but it's gotten really [TS]

  keep describing from see there's [TS]

  microphones there's there's a box is all [TS]

  hello it's a it's a character called arm [TS]

  I like a pupil list girl and here's her [TS]

  friends robot our message right and [TS]

  pupils girl and robot arms are in an [TS]

  adventure [TS]

  that's called these legs are impossibly [TS]

  long yeah and they're running and they [TS]

  look like kind of like gold plated [TS]

  skeleton you get you can tell they've [TS]

  been through some stuff but there but [TS]

  they have like wedge clogs [TS]

  yeah they have like wedgie clogged [TS]

  choose what you got there is a giant [TS]

  Phoenix nigga Dark Phoenix Phoenix and [TS]

  dark phoenix yeah and they're good 14 [TS]

  inches tall [TS]

  yeah they're huge and like [TS]

  disproportionate like we're even worse [TS]

  than Barbies these these are [TS]

  physiologically they could not stand on [TS]

  their own they're very powerful women [TS]

  but they have that I think that the [TS]

  thing that sticks out to me is that if [TS]

  you were going to be super heroing I [TS]

  don't think you need high heels for them [TS]

  that's right wrong kind of boots right [TS]

  please no not you could not climb a [TS]

  fence not gonna fight some crime or [TS]

  whatever so what so Phoenix is a crime [TS]

  fighter [TS]

  uh-huh is she a detective or something [TS]

  or she's a detective detective she does [TS]

  she does she like have the power of of [TS]

  smell should be Miller probably the most [TS]

  powerful super hero in the universe not [TS]

  that it matters penises penises Dark [TS]

  Phoenix yeah [TS]

  Oh what like Phoenix are like this is [TS]

  nice [TS]

  by greenfield she's a great Phoenix had [TS]

  some issues over time she she said [TS]

  sometimes for me to just be Marvel girl [TS]

  but then something happened and she got [TS]

  stuck in a cocoon under a lake for a [TS]

  whole bunch of years and Roses Phoenix [TS]

  only it wasn't really her it was [TS]

  actually his avatar this thing called [TS]

  the Phoenix force and that you can make [TS]

  16 extension dark penis penis and she [TS]

  basically a two-planet did she ever find [TS]

  a Balrog trip going up high smiling out [TS]

  with see and be inside the jam cr-v you [TS]

  did you have your whole family there but [TS]

  you-you-you like really adopted it you [TS]

  you like you went for right away you're [TS]

  like I could live in this I want to live [TS]

  in this right now [TS]

  why what is wrong with my life that I [TS]

  don't have one of these I'm not living [TS]

  in I wonder if it's not exclusively but [TS]

  i wonder if it's partly just like the [TS]

  dream of us of a boy from the nineteen [TS]

  seventies it's got its it's such a [TS]

  seventies dream to have [TS]

  the house you really enjoy that Dark [TS]

  Phoenix aren't you well maybe ambulating [TS]

  her the other thing I'm finding about [TS]

  this dark phoenix is that she would be [TS]

  really impossible to play with like if [TS]

  you want to put her in a seated position [TS]

  like she's collectible you want to sit [TS]

  in a chair her legs immediately spread [TS]

  into jus like more gentle with her [TS]

  joints you know what I mean like the [TS]

  only reason a person would ever sit like [TS]

  this is that they were having a [TS]

  gynecological exam [TS]

  this is not a natural way for a person [TS]

  or doll to see how do you know that's [TS]

  not a special offer from like a comic [TS]

  con with a special gynecology edition of [TS]

  phoenix oh no you rose from the ashes of [TS]

  who to have a speculum and maybe she's a [TS]

  pap smear [TS]

  uh-huh super pap smear and what is that [TS]

  what's the deal with her hair she [TS]

  doesn't need all this hair she does [TS]

  she's the most powerful super hero in [TS]

  the universe you don't mean any hair [TS]

  loss means you can have as much hair as [TS]

  you want you know it's like I movable 47 [TS]

  movable object so this is the soup that [TS]

  so this is the big question if you had [TS]

  all the power in the universe would you [TS]

  have a all the hair in the world or [TS]

  would you have be no hair was a part of [TS]

  me that thinks that for a long time I [TS]

  would just use all the power universe to [TS]

  make people not care about what my hair [TS]

  looks like me but I think eventually I [TS]

  would get incredibly fucking elaborate [TS]

  hair because I could so let's say this [TS]

  girl dark phoenix yeah comes up against [TS]

  naked blue giant man from the other [TS]

  comic book the naked penis man attacked [TS]

  dr. manhattan from the comic book with [TS]

  the guy with the like bag over his face [TS]

  with a scarecrow [TS]

  um so who's more powerful I'll dark [TS]

  phoenix or a penis man [TS]

  uh-huh you know I'm gonna have to legal [TS]

  a single find their wiki is there we [TS]

  can't let me check my there I say yeah [TS]

  in the universe [TS]

  I feel like dark phoenix can't even [TS]

  fucking sit down so I'm gonna give this [TS]

  one to be this me maybe he doesn't need [TS]

  to sit down John I don't know even the [TS]

  most powerful creature in the universe [TS]

  if she--if of the most powerful creature [TS]

  still has articulated joints yeah and [TS]

  isn't just a like a like a model of that [TS]

  personal sitting or oh my god it's [TS]

  brutal and on [TS]

  yeah this is I i feel like these things [TS]

  are these would only be collected by did [TS]

  you want to open your mail or anything [TS]

  while you're hairy people drink [TS]

  different email with I didn't know [TS]

  here's the great story [TS]

  here's a great story so I get an email [TS]

  from the woman who has the office next [TS]

  to mine in my office building right and [TS]

  she said hey um I don't know if you [TS]

  haven't been around in a couple of days [TS]

  but there is a giant stack of boxes [TS]

  leaning against your office door what [TS]

  and I was like how many boxes and she [TS]

  was like more than a dozen boxes and [TS]

  they are basically starting to block the [TS]

  hallway and I said oh right [TS]

  not very long ago I gave out the the [TS]

  physical address of my office and told [TS]

  people to send me the things that they [TS]

  make and then I left town in an RV with [TS]

  no clear return date food and so I [TS]

  called the building manager and I said [TS]

  hey um which check to see if there are a [TS]

  bunch of boxes outside my office door [TS]

  and he went up and he was like here I [TS]

  said you have a key to my office would [TS]

  you put those things in my office and he [TS]

  said yes and then it happened again and [TS]

  he put those in my office so when i get [TS]

  back to the office [TS]

  there's gonna be a lot of mail to open [TS]

  and you're gonna get a talking-to i [TS]

  think from the from the building manager [TS]

  well you know it's not your mom John [TS]

  thing is it's an art space and I'm the [TS]

  one guy that doesn't routinely spray [TS]

  freon into the halls ok alright you know [TS]

  like your losses and minuses [TS]

  yeah right and walk down the hall and [TS]

  it's like Oh somebody has pushed out [TS]

  into the hall like several mannequins [TS]

  that have been made into a very awful [TS]

  art and they're just gonna sit there for [TS]

  seven months huh [TS]

  he has made another woman of Port jobs [TS]

  right so i have a bunch of boxes in the [TS]

  hall and and its credit to my space that [TS]

  nobody are presumably nobody stole any [TS]

  right i mean maybe somebody walked by [TS]

  was like I'm gonna take one of those he [TS]

  has 12 boxes i'm going to take one but i [TS]

  don't think so i don't think they did [TS]

  you regret giving out the address [TS]

  well I haven't haven't really opened any [TS]

  of these boxes so i have no idea if I [TS]

  open these boxes and I have 12 new [TS]

  poorly made wallets what I'm gonna be [TS]

  like that was a weird experiment but if [TS]

  i open the box and there's like salt and [TS]

  pepper shakers carved out [TS]

  of precious Rock right and there's like [TS]

  somebody made me a bunch of custom [TS]

  underwear that says like look who's [TS]

  talking to or whatever it is that people [TS]

  are making seven-sided lighthouse made a [TS]

  dream if somebody made one of those are [TS]

  annual out of real dreams popsicle [TS]

  popsicle stick [TS]

  Lincoln Logs may be careful Tower made [TS]

  out too quick yep [TS]

  yeah i'm gonna be psyched because i'll [TS]

  just be like my office now looks cool it [TS]

  doesn't just have a bunch of like vote [TS]

  Roderick paraphernalia that's sad [TS]

  it's wet and sad now and i would like a [TS]

  seven sideline house made of Dreams [TS]

  people can come over here and feel like [TS]

  this is great and if you know if there [TS]

  are a couple of wallets i'll stop [TS]

  admitting office 332 washington avenue [TS]

  in any town USA 12345 send all the cards [TS]

  and letters cards and letters nothing [TS]

  dead cards and letters right we have [TS]

  crazy lunch i'm still on some I'm way [TS]

  off my game today for a number of [TS]

  reasons I've had a lot of coffee but [TS]

  also we had incredibly weird lunch do [TS]

  you want on butter's should i ahh you [TS]

  should talk about it so knowing that [TS]

  you're not as much of a fan of secret [TS]

  salt as i am right well years and years [TS]

  ago when i first started coming to this [TS]

  beautiful part of san francisco back [TS]

  when I would stay at your house [TS]

  sometimes for many many many nights [TS]

  before you don't never never more than [TS]

  two or three weeks [TS]

  yeah right but I thought that would be [TS]

  unusual for a lot of people to have a [TS]

  houseguest show up and Lee and stay for [TS]

  two weeks [TS]

  sort of like AE but we had fun right [TS]

  times man and you know you you get you [TS]

  get a man like John Ryder canales you [TS]

  can throw you can throw mountain now [TS]

  we're going to fill them out [TS]

  good luck but you get a forklift so I [TS]

  even all the way back then we there was [TS]

  a little dim sum place then you've [TS]

  referred to in many many many of your [TS]

  other programs and it's a dirty little [TS]

  tiny little dim sum place where the man [TS]

  counts the money and then to handle the [TS]

  dick he never has more than five dollars [TS]

  in money in the cash drawer if you have [TS]

  to make if he has to make change for [TS]

  anything he literally reaches under a [TS]

  filthy counter grabs filthy money and [TS]

  then this filthy hands that filthy thing [TS]

  the thing that distinguishes this place [TS]

  is so well-known [TS]

  neighborhood I because they had a cat [TS]

  Oh intelligence all in the kitchen and [TS]

  they didn't mind it so it's clear down [TS]

  just to be clear here it's not that they [TS]

  welcomed the cats in the pigeons into [TS]

  the kitchen and it's not that they were [TS]

  mad about it [TS]

  they merely didn't mind somewhere in [TS]

  between yeah it was it was yeah it was [TS]

  just it was just a situation that they [TS]

  just don't sort of irrelevant to them i [TS]

  remember going in there in ordering dim [TS]

  sum at one point he reached into his [TS]

  pocket and put it put it in the in the [TS]

  container for us but we had the many [TS]

  great dim sums and let this is something [TS]

  maybe I've never revealed yeah but that [TS]

  place was the first dim sum I overhand [TS]

  you can see became i became a ritual you [TS]

  would come to town no matter what would [TS]

  always go there and get probably 15 [TS]

  pounds of himself right a dollar amount [TS]

  of them something that seemed impossible [TS]

  for us to actually manage to eat through [TS]

  and yet we did it every time [TS]

  yeah even if you did the math you said 5 [TS]

  10 15 25 40 per person we still managed [TS]

  to do it and and they emit rarely cost [TS]

  more than like ten dollars no matter how [TS]

  much we got right because the thirty [TS]

  cents apiece yeah and so like it's the [TS]

  place that with the place that I first [TS]

  had dim sum I mean I know the place that [TS]

  I promotion antis the place that I first [TS]

  had thai food [TS]

  I mean I know these places i remember [TS]

  the occasion and remember that and you [TS]

  introduced me to dim sum and we went [TS]

  there today to have our beautiful John [TS]

  and Merlin dim sum lunch and what [TS]

  happened [TS]

  it's got it got it somebody is in there [TS]

  i was there as recently as I want to say [TS]

  a week and a half ago I went in there [TS]

  grabbed six books on my out the door [TS]

  good to go how's your daughter she's in [TS]

  school have a nice day go [TS]

  Bob's your uncle bob's your uncle yeah [TS]

  yeah and and we went in it was it was [TS]

  they were getting it getting it they had [TS]

  all the lights on it wasn't dark and [TS]

  weird like it used to be over there for [TS]

  the first of about four occasions this [TS]

  particular afternoon I said something to [TS]

  someone they stared at me like I was [TS]

  from another planet you said is this [TS]

  place gone for good or you just [TS]

  remodeling and the guy turned he was on [TS]

  a ladder he literally staring at me [TS]

  turned and looked at you and said no he [TS]

  didn't even make a handshake and speak [TS]

  English [TS]

  he just he looked at me as the like I [TS]

  had an umbrella forehead yeah right and [TS]

  then you finally found somebody who had [TS]

  would answer you [TS]

  yeah and he said yeah it's going to be a [TS]

  coffee shop shop because you know if if [TS]

  you have a chance for one thing that we [TS]

  need more around here right it's a [TS]

  coffee shop coffee shop with you some [TS]

  more bubble tea [TS]

  some more Irish bars and a problem or [TS]

  coffee on another walgreens if they put [TS]

  another walgreens on this block but then [TS]

  so we went we went up the street we were [TS]

  looking for a good lunch and we went [TS]

  into a place that kind of smells like [TS]

  propane [TS]

  yeah and they didn't seem like not so [TS]

  much and then we went into a place that [TS]

  was a really big [TS]

  by comparison to the other restaurant [TS]

  mean it was it's it's palatial animal 33 [TS]

  tables out of 30 in this place occupied [TS]

  also almost completely empty [TS]

  we sat down the first thing that [TS]

  happened was a table of six white people [TS]

  stood up and left without having ordered [TS]

  and as they walked by each person made [TS]

  sustained and uncomfortable eye contact [TS]

  with us yeah with a weird like Manson [TS]

  Family smile [TS]

  yeah it had a real text Watson kind of [TS]

  feeling today were all different ages [TS]

  there was like a hippie mom yep there [TS]

  was a young guy there was an old man i [TS]

  think the last guy was kind of a father [TS]

  figure in the family and he he had a [TS]

  real real enduring look at us [TS]

  yeah yeah like the sort of bhagwan look [TS]

  and so we were like what do we do [TS]

  Merlin looked at the menu shows some [TS]

  items show some other items that there [TS]

  were some you know there was a there was [TS]

  a bullfrog on the dish on the menu idea [TS]

  just trying to find the menu real quick [TS]

  is out there are some of them there's [TS]

  one was a it was venting chicken didn't [TS]

  wanna write which would be good for [TS]

  something there was there was garlic [TS]

  strings grow extremes there was the one [TS]

  that started with was like acid reflux [TS]

  other than acid drops pork buns they got [TS]

  the drops was the name of that acid [TS]

  drops yeah anyway so so we ended up [TS]

  ordering as it as the droplets beans [TS]

  pork has the droplets beans pork acid [TS]

  droplets drop beans pork havin ass [TS]

  addresses that was beans pork [TS]

  yeah great guided by voices two three [TS]

  four and down so we ordered this food [TS]

  the waiter kind of made some suggestions [TS]

  we ordered it came it was delicious but [TS]

  it was so flavored with msg & cumin and [TS]

  inexplicably cumin which is not normally [TS]

  attorney asked tons of cumin [TS]

  the distinguishing characteristic is [TS]

  everybody we encountered was staring at [TS]

  us but also everyone in this restaurant [TS]

  the diners and the wait staff alike not [TS]

  only in this case the wait staff seemed [TS]

  not only as though they had not been [TS]

  waiters for more than an hour so it [TS]

  seems like maybe they just never been to [TS]

  a restaurant they didn't know how to [TS]

  restaurant [TS]

  well I the right the waiters didn't they [TS]

  also walked by and sustained eye contact [TS]

  with us with no not attempting to fill [TS]

  our water glasses or asks any questions [TS]

  just pacing the restaurant what about [TS]

  Cheryl Tiegs act like staring [TS]

  yeah and then I thinking back to the the [TS]

  original customers that left as soon as [TS]

  we walked in they seemed like people who [TS]

  were approximating what they thought [TS]

  being a human being was yeah if you have [TS]

  a really above average an alien doing a [TS]

  really above average impersonation of [TS]

  human yeah if you put on human suit yeah [TS]

  not for the first time but this was the [TS]

  first time they like you you tried out [TS]

  the human suit a few times you'd wanted [TS]

  on the train [TS]

  yeah you did to put on human suit like [TS]

  you're not ready to join a summary get [TS]

  you could pass among the other grades [TS]

  right right just walking around not [TS]

  trying to interact with me because that [TS]

  Phil not like I still human totally [TS]

  human being he doesn't is not he's not [TS]

  he's not so comfortable in the human [TS]

  suit that he's going to get a job in an [TS]

  office but this was like all right you [TS]

  know what let's take five of us out to a [TS]

  restaurant and see how it plays in the [TS]

  afternoon will be a great place to test [TS]

  that out and then you and I walk in and [TS]

  they're like I don't think we're ready [TS]

  to like be in a restaurant with these [TS]

  two guys right you know they're like oh [TS]

  my god i don't have no idea how deep [TS]

  this goes right if they were they were [TS]

  in there they were trying it out the [TS]

  waiters are also praised and so they [TS]

  were just like let's see how this played [TS]

  the whole restaurant is just like it's a [TS]

  front let's test this XP on the front [TS]

  it's it's more like a like one of those [TS]

  little towns you go to when you're going [TS]

  act like you're attacking the Russians [TS]

  you go somewhere or little safety town [TS]

  where you bring your bike it's an entire [TS]

  simulacrum town right safety town safety [TS]

  where you come in and you interact with [TS]

  other people so you know you all know [TS]

  it's a drill you all know it's an [TS]

  exercise right you can dance if you want [TS]

  to [TS]

  yeah so you can leave stuff behind but [TS]

  you want to be able to fit in you want [TS]

  to pass you don't get clocked exactly [TS]

  and so we walk in and it's they were not [TS]

  expecting us they knew we were headed to [TS]

  do [TS]

  some but somehow the whole thing like [TS]

  they didn't coordinate the gutting of [TS]

  the dim sum place with you and me being [TS]

  on the street my god they should have [TS]

  seen this coming and we walk in there [TS]

  like holy shit this is not part of the [TS]

  plan [TS]

  what we're going to do is sit in here [TS]

  and people are gonna walk by and look in [TS]

  at us feel uncomfortable about this [TS]

  restaurant and not come in and that was [TS]

  going to be what we did today like [TS]

  somebody had left off the sheet the fact [TS]

  that if this was an actual restaurant [TS]

  there might be people who come in and [TS]

  want to eat their right they should more [TS]

  than simply prepare yourselves for this [TS]

  and the last time diners the last thing [TS]

  they thought was it would be you and me [TS]

  alright if it was just a couple of [TS]

  Snorks just like some normals who came [TS]

  in and were like oh you need some food [TS]

  and look at our phones isn't I did not [TS]

  there is not a single thing I said to [TS]

  anyone in that place that they would not [TS]

  have heard 40 times a day if they were [TS]

  waiters but they looked like they had [TS]

  never heard it like like like for [TS]

  example they never actually heard what I [TS]

  would describe as human voice well and [TS]

  you said do you have t.i said first ever [TS]

  said i will I said we'd like some tea [TS]

  jasmine tea and the i think its response [TS]

  was t Yeah right right [TS]

  like a like a young Chinese guy had [TS]

  never heard of tea and so so get this [TS]

  guy over here [TS]

  yeah so then we ordered this food and it [TS]

  adds it had all the wrong flavors for [TS]

  Chinese food like like they were back [TS]

  there like like the waiter comes back [TS]

  and he's like holy shit they want food [TS]

  they would feel like [TS]

  only I don't get it twisted what is a [TS]

  good book [TS]

  telephone telephone room and so he opens [TS]

  the book is like cumin capers fish and [TS]

  like a milk you threw it all in a pot [TS]

  and then it came out and I feel now like [TS]

  I have like I've been sucking on 2d [TS]

  batteries all afternoon [TS]

  there's some there's so much msg in my [TS]

  body that my tongue is just like swollen [TS]

  and let and and full of like I don't [TS]

  know like corpuscles I don't even want [TS]

  yeah I to tell you what is it you mean [TS]

  like you got an extra retina I I started [TS]

  really experiencing meals from my [TS]

  childhood i started i started tasting [TS]

  things that I had tasted in years [TS]

  it suddenly reawakens kind of nine volt [TS]

  energy on my tongue you're like otter [TS]

  pops [TS]

  the 10 human counterparts and humid with [TS]

  Cuban food like that never heard of it [TS]

  well so anyway I do feel like that that [TS]

  uh that warrants some more investigation [TS]

  i kinda wanna go back but you know from [TS]

  experience [TS]

  yeah you know place especially like a [TS]

  lot of Asian restaurants but especially [TS]

  a Chinese restaurant [TS]

  it pays to go in and get a group of [TS]

  people trapped bunch of different things [TS]

  at least one thing will be good at this [TS]

  is not a Chinese thing but like it's the [TS]

  kind of food is usually very conducive [TS]

  to sharing family-style order in their [TS]

  obvious right or six things for for the [TS]

  two of us right and ago and the guy [TS]

  finally the guy he gets real you know [TS]

  greater get to his credit says ah I [TS]

  think that's enough [TS]

  yeah we ordered three things like that's [TS]

  that's that's plenty and he was right to [TS]

  fish arrived in what I can only describe [TS]

  is I want to say a terrine it was [TS]

  actually more of a punch bowl [TS]

  it was screaming punchbowl was the type [TS]

  of thing that if you went into a fancy [TS]

  house it would be sitting on the table [TS]

  in the entryway filled with dried [TS]

  flowers or yeah right now or or 7,000 [TS]

  starlight mints or colored marble [TS]

  imagine like you have a pretty good [TS]

  sized hands and it was you're given a [TS]

  job on a game show and was your job on [TS]

  that game show to as quickly as possible [TS]

  stick your hands into this into this [TS]

  confuses food and take out everything [TS]

  that was a large flavor fish a man with [TS]

  large hands it would take two minutes [TS]

  for the media that this was astonishing [TS]

  to me it was like four fish you get a [TS]

  big bowl of this and the first time I [TS]

  dug into it was like oh there's some [TS]

  kind of bean sprouts in the bottom but [TS]

  but they're not real bean sprouts [TS]

  there's some other kind of sprout and I [TS]

  was like oh this is a thing where [TS]

  there's like four pieces of fish on top [TS]

  of a giant answer that's how they get [TS]

  you right under layer of sprouts yeah [TS]

  but then we kept digging into this thing [TS]

  and there were there were like the flesh [TS]

  of 15 fish and 15 good-sized fish were [TS]

  in this terrain you can you can put away [TS]

  some groceries and I i think they did [TS]

  you finish all of it so at the end I [TS]

  blacked out toward the antenna and I was [TS]

  like I'm not gonna leave I leave some [TS]

  sprouts in this bowl but I'm gonna leave [TS]

  any fish right you take that challenge [TS]

  and then I what I i went for it and my [TS]

  plate was piled high with with the human [TS]

  fish for the sixth time [TS]

  and I just was like I I don't think [TS]

  there's a bottom to no mas [TS]

  I cannot guess I can't get all the fish [TS]

  out and then that was trying to find of [TS]

  wine down we got some stuff to do we get [TS]

  to ride in the RV we need to get going [TS]

  yeah and so stuff to do i if i remember [TS]

  correctly I i think i did two things [TS]

  that are usually fairly well understood [TS]

  when it's the end of the meal so one of [TS]

  the things I did was I held my hand up [TS]

  in the air like I had a make-believe pen [TS]

  and I i made a signature what am i doing [TS]

  John kind of square doing oscillating [TS]

  signing was a sign sign the check now I [TS]

  would like to check but just to put a [TS]

  belt on those suspenders I also turned [TS]

  to the man and I said can we have the [TS]

  check please that's right and what [TS]

  response you get [TS]

  I got a blank I you know I got me a [TS]

  mambo dogface to the banana patch but I [TS]

  got I got I got a dead-eyed shark look [TS]

  like I just said things that weren't [TS]

  even looking like he'd been talking to [TS]

  to look a like a book about lean like a [TS]

  whale right yeah we're like it like you [TS]

  were Beetlejuice and all of a sudden [TS]

  your hat turned into a merry-go-round [TS]

  and you're like doing meanwhile oh um I [TS]

  can't I can't explain it except that I [TS]

  mean this neighborhood is gentrifying [TS]

  fast yes faster than I expected and but [TS]

  this doesnt sit this is no justification [TS]

  i ever saw [TS]

  I almost back to that is I you know if I [TS]

  allow myself to adopt that thought [TS]

  technology a whole lot of shit in this [TS]

  neighborhood [TS]

  something's making a lot more sense yeah [TS]

  i just got about one of our sponsors [TS]

  this week [TS]

  hush whoa we're going to do like all [TS]

  right we're sitting in the room together [TS]

  yeah you're going to live live live read [TS]

  of the sponsor and isn't it and you are [TS]

  encouraged to to join into it to flush [TS]

  it out before you do I'd like everyone [TS]

  to hear that i'm i'm drinking one of [TS]

  Merlin man's who famous Saltzer waters [TS]

  in a can the Refresh e seltzer water [TS]

  like to thank our sponsor for this [TS]

  episode safeway seltzer water [TS]

  hi enjoying it I haven't tasted it yet i [TS]

  just opened and everybody in 50 mm um [TS]

  it's good it tastes it tastes good it [TS]

  does not taste like was filtered through [TS]

  a dead raccoon or no taste the cumin [TS]

  uh-huh no taste of giving it its rinsing [TS]

  it out but it goes great with Merlin [TS]

  special blend of nuts i got your I got [TS]

  your chaser right here look [TS]

  some hydrogen that one quart of hydrogen [TS]

  peroxide another one haven't opened yet [TS]

  it's a cure-all [TS]

  yes for me I just keep right here just [TS]

  me and swish swish and then into the [TS]

  spit bucket with him up there goes haha [TS]

  it's literally as bitbucket it's a five [TS]

  gallon can of like spackle once you [TS]

  start with the hydrogen peroxide you'll [TS]

  never look back that's right you feel [TS]

  dirty you feel dirty in the mouth if you [TS]

  don't have a little bit of hydrogen [TS]

  peroxide use it for every user for [TS]

  everybody would all be about 90 for [TS]

  everything is it is contact lens [TS]

  solution it's not know that right mrs. [TS]

  safety [TS]

  ladies and gentlemen are today i would [TS]

  say about our once part of our show [TS]

  which is Casper tony lacasse me so now i [TS]

  have not one but two casper mattresses [TS]

  in my house and they are mom ok put a [TS]

  pin in that because Casper is an online [TS]

  retailer premium mattresses out like [TS]

  John i know i only have one casper [TS]

  mattresses I don't know how you got away [TS]

  with two but they're online retailer [TS]

  premium mattresses and you get delivered [TS]

  to your door for a fraction of the price [TS]

  that you pay in stores and I I'm telling [TS]

  you you do not want have you actually [TS]

  tried to go and buy a mattress in a [TS]

  store i have a you know I used to go [TS]

  routinely to department stores and just [TS]

  lay on the mattresses because it just [TS]

  was a thing to do in the afternoon so [TS]

  this is just during that period where [TS]

  you would place to lay down the thing is [TS]

  they won't kick you off the mattress [TS]

  because they think you might be testing [TS]

  it you can lay there for 12 minutes [TS]

  before someone comes along and as long [TS]

  as you leave a spot or something I and [TS]

  then they're like hey can I help you [TS]

  with something you're like just testing [TS]

  the matter what do you think you're [TS]

  better than me but then those mattresses [TS]

  are like 35 hundred dollar super [TS]

  expensive and they're super gross [TS]

  because the thing is you think you're [TS]

  the first but you think you think you're [TS]

  the first person to go lay on the [TS]

  disgusting mattress in the store [TS]

  sorry Johnny you are the latest one is [TS]

  what that is right cancers mattress is a [TS]

  one of a kind of mattress it's a new [TS]

  hybrid mattress that combines premium [TS]

  latex phone with latex say what I didn't [TS]

  even know that it's a new kind of hybrid [TS]

  mattress Jonna combines premium latex [TS]

  phone from with memory foam it's a [TS]

  hybrid it's a new kind of hybrid matters [TS]

  that combines premium latex phone with [TS]

  memory foam and she doesn't have a it [TS]

  doesn't have a battery pack I didn't [TS]

  look inside [TS]

  no it's a new kind of hybrid mattress [TS]

  that combines premium latex phone with [TS]

  memory foam latex foam and memory and [TS]

  memory foam that means it's got just the [TS]

  right sink and just the right balance [TS]

  it does a lot of time to get the best [TS]

  but not the sink or the worst is the [TS]

  same without the bound can just [TS]

  literally begging to get me started on [TS]

  that thing is like this is starting to [TS]

  sound a little bit like a real doll in [TS]

  the shape of a matter best the two [TS]

  technologies come together for better [TS]

  nights and brighter days i have now had [TS]

  mine I checked it's been over every 14 [TS]

  months now Wow 14 months so what you ask [TS]

  you a question job so I piled onto that [TS]

  mattress III so it it shows up shows up [TS]

  in a box it's literally about it's a box [TS]

  on the on the front porch [TS]

  it's a little bigger than a two drawer [TS]

  file cabinet yeah right the boxes I I [TS]

  showed up I was like no there's no way [TS]

  that there's a king-size mattress in [TS]

  that box is one thought that everyone [TS]

  has no way is that a bad no way [TS]

  and what is that a bit and I and they [TS]

  said over the mattresses on its way and [TS]

  then two days later there is on the [TS]

  front porch I'm like you think shame on [TS]

  me [TS]

  shame on me for falling for these [TS]

  hucksters and Casper yeah and so I slept [TS]

  the thing inside and I let it sit there [TS]

  in the entryway for a couple of days i'm [TS]

  not sure what to do and she do a couple [TS]

  of days to a couple of weeks and people [TS]

  are like what's the big box and I'm like [TS]

  a king size mattress they're like no way [TS]

  so i finally that John are the other [TS]

  things in this is really interesting [TS]

  size mattresses which is this tiny box [TS]

  so i unpack it and the mattress goes the [TS]

  warning [TS]

  it's like a it's like one of those [TS]

  mushrooms in the forest that comes up [TS]

  out of the ground and all of a sudden [TS]

  it's like this enormous mushroom [TS]

  mushroom like a giant mushroom like a [TS]

  magic mushroom time punishment I flip it [TS]

  out and I'm like I've stayed on [TS]

  listen I've been a touring musician for [TS]

  15 years I've slept on a lot of [TS]

  mattresses john robert forecaster [TS]

  mattresses around the around the country [TS]

  and around the world and I looked at [TS]

  this thing and I was like all right well [TS]

  you know when is the ones this match [TS]

  gonna rise up and buy my by biting me on [TS]

  the way and I get on this thing then [TS]

  like it's not there it's not it's not [TS]

  it's not a heavy it's not think it's not [TS]

  there's no baloney [TS]

  I'm just like oh I'm on this mattress [TS]

  and then I'm just like having some [TS]

  mattress time yes and then here's the [TS]

  here's the here's the crazy thing [TS]

  yeah i was putting this mattress in the [TS]

  guest room yeah but then I started [TS]

  sleeping in the guest room turns out and [TS]

  since the caps casper mattresses arrived [TS]

  in the guest room [TS]

  I have not slept in my actual bed oh my [TS]

  goodness and sleeping on the Casper in [TS]

  the guest room I wake up every morning [TS]

  like where am I [TS]

  I I sleep in mind every day I think I [TS]

  know why it's so comfortable because [TS]

  it's a new kind of hybrid model combines [TS]

  premium latex foam with memory foam [TS]

  well I support it to the top of the box [TS]

  shows up you open this thing in it [TS]

  inhales any of this beautiful beautiful [TS]

  mattress it's you know the thing is it's [TS]

  not it's not too hard not too soft it's [TS]

  not a kind of hybrid match i collect i [TS]

  like i like a firm mattress [TS]

  I don't like a I don't like a bus [TS]

  segment is the thing i think from [TS]

  watching cartoons and seeing thirties [TS]

  movies we think you know a hobo time you [TS]

  think you want a soft bed is off below [TS]

  that the last thing in the world that [TS]

  you don't want to talk about [TS]

  particularly particularly when you are a [TS]

  big man you want to you want a firm [TS]

  mattress on a big mattress big boy bed [TS]

  and you know i'm i'm often uh five [TS]

  guests right right i mean you want a [TS]

  mattress that shoot people out of bed [TS]

  are you sure i don't like people to [TS]

  stick around in bed i wanted to go sleep [TS]

  in their own bed [TS]

  it's a new kind of hybrid that combines [TS]

  this mattress can accommodate three [TS]

  people let's just say that right [TS]

  what size is that it's I swear the King [TS]

  one who [TS]

  so here's the crazy thing yeah right i [TS]

  think they're gonna find out what [TS]

  happened so i'm gonna be knocking on [TS]

  your door buddy [TS]

  so then I got a second one through you [TS]

  know by hook or by crook let's say let's [TS]

  say I was not a scam [TS]

  I wasn't trying to scam anybody i was [TS]

  just like hey Here I am Here I am I'm [TS]

  doing these podcasts plural [TS]

  yeah and the podcast to match to podcast [TS]

  to match that's the that's the old [TS]

  exchange rate and so that the next one [TS]

  when the Talmud next one I was like it's [TS]

  really more of a it is a product an [TS]

  Ashkenazi uh [TS]

  that's the park in here the the is it [TS]

  right for a man to have two mattresses [TS]

  in exchange for to podcast so here's one [TS]

  here's one here's what i did on the [TS]

  second the second mattress I was like [TS]

  you know what I want to California king [TS]

  I've never been before and I'm big man i [TS]

  want it say yeah I don't think I've ever [TS]

  even seen one if I had a california king [TS]

  i might not even shoot people on my bad [TS]

  i might welcome them into my bed get [TS]

  their little zip code [TS]

  yeah that's right you go over to that [TS]

  side of the mattress i'll see you in the [TS]

  morning [TS]

  so this California King arrives on the [TS]

  front porch [TS]

  it's still like an impossibly small box [TS]

  for what it were pretends to be right up [TS]

  or tends to be but uh but I've seen this [TS]

  in action so I know I know it's possible [TS]

  and I move the california king into the [TS]

  living room but the problem is in order [TS]

  to install this california king in my [TS]

  house I have to actually get rid of my [TS]

  actual bed [TS]

  oh you got a word problem right now you [TS]

  got you got some kind of thing where you [TS]

  got this is not gonna be easy a single [TS]

  answer for this to go to trial game too [TS]

  kind of existential tile game I've got a [TS]

  queen size sleigh bed and the sleigh bed [TS]

  creaks when you are when you move [TS]

  trigger vigorously yes and that can be [TS]

  funny [TS]

  depending on who your houseguest is your [TS]

  Majesty but it can also be kind of a [TS]

  pain in the ass just very much [TS]

  distracting right here just like what is [TS]

  come on this can't be real this is like [TS]

  something that adds an element [TS]

  competition it's like that's like the [TS]

  movie delicate testing this is somebody [TS]

  down there somebody like cutting up some [TS]

  pork and a french movie with their the [TS]

  garbage can that's right that's right in [TS]

  the garbage can [TS]

  the the one with the tape recorder that [TS]

  says who have you been sleeping boots [TS]

  that's good movie at the galaxy frog in [TS]

  it i think i feel like i feel like i'm [TS]

  mixing up consistently and you say no [TS]

  but kinda but that's a queen-size bed [TS]

  and here's the here's the thing in the [TS]

  in the in the sleigh bed there is a [TS]

  mattress that i have had since uh since [TS]

  basically three weeks after I quit [TS]

  drinking which was 21 hours i think the [TS]

  international matches authority would [TS]

  tell you you should be changing that [TS]

  little fellow a little more you should [TS]

  change that mattress long time ago but [TS]

  here's what happened [TS]

  I got sober and i was like i needed i [TS]

  need to get an apartment i haven't had [TS]

  an apartment for a while to get key i [TS]

  should buy a toothbrush one of these [TS]

  days and I need a mattress so I I went [TS]

  out to one of those places like keep [TS]

  mattresses on the side of the road and [TS]

  there was a there was a shipping [TS]

  container and you could go in the [TS]

  shipping container and walk down the [TS]

  dark like no lights in it and pick your [TS]

  mattress out of there in the solitary [TS]

  450 shoot somebody off of pit and there [TS]

  was no so they were all stacked up like [TS]

  mattresses stand on end [TS]

  Wow and so I walk through and I'm [TS]

  looking at these things and i pointed [TS]

  out there and that what this is at a [TS]

  time [TS]

  kinda like remember one Gibson Les [TS]

  Paul's were judged by how heavy they [TS]

  were oh yeah like all the heavier the [TS]

  les paul the more sustained and now if [TS]

  you go to get some company they they [TS]

  sell you the lightest Les Paul that's [TS]

  the sign of quality the light ones [TS]

  because they can still get the [TS]

  performance characteristics or without [TS]

  the way if you're playing for a long [TS]

  time on stage that becomes be on the [TS]

  lighter guitar apparently although I [TS]

  feel like a heavy guitar still good [TS]

  anyway I'm walking through this thing's [TS]

  that's silly ad that's the that's the [TS]

  only comparison i have so I'm like I [TS]

  want the heaviest mattress here a smile [TS]

  and pulling these light matches out no [TS]

  no no and then I come to a mattress that [TS]

  is a purple paisley and be weighs as [TS]

  much as a honda civic now even with [TS]

  paisley that's a mattress that for a man [TS]

  like you at that time that's the future [TS]

  not the past [TS]

  all right that's exactly right i felt [TS]

  like I'm i got a toothbrush now I've [TS]

  been sober sober for three weeks i'm [TS]

  getting a purple paisley mattress that i [TS]

  had that treat myself to a mattress out [TS]

  of shipping containers right for people [TS]

  can't lift this mattress and I brought [TS]

  home it was firm like you were sleeping [TS]

  on a Honda Civic em but I've had it for [TS]

  20 years literally every good thing [TS]

  that's ever happened to me has happened [TS]

  on that mattress every bad thing that's [TS]

  ever happened to me has happened on that [TS]

  mattress it is that mattress now is I [TS]

  would say uh i would say it is the color [TS]

  of Oklahoma as seen from the air and it [TS]

  is so knackered right yeah it has [TS]

  everyone I've ever known has left a part [TS]

  of themselves in one or the other side [TS]

  of this mattress literally every person [TS]

  i've ever been [TS]

  I've ever been close to and you know at [TS]

  some point in their sort of right after [TS]

  I quit drinking i got scabies um because [TS]

  I still is and still is trafficking with [TS]

  people that I knew the old days there [TS]

  but this is not a cats purr question no [TS]

  no no this is this matches i got a [TS]

  shipping container anyway i sterilized [TS]

  it somehow I think bye-bye like pouring [TS]

  a hydrogen peroxide on it which was the [TS]

  only multi-tool I hadn't yeah sure [TS]

  and ya literature I mean I can see it's [TS]

  like a Rorschach test of my entire life [TS]

  oh and so I'm very reluctant to get rid [TS]

  of it except it is past its expiration [TS]

  date [TS]

  the problem is it still weighs 700 [TS]

  pounds i can't just slap it down the [TS]

  stairs and move it outside [TS]

  I said that's it that's the challenge so [TS]

  the whole thing's gotta go my whole room [TS]

  he's gotta change I've got this [TS]

  california king waiting in its cocoon [TS]

  down in my entryway and I'm like so [TS]

  excited about it but I also there's a [TS]

  there's an uphill climb before i can [TS]

  like deploy this in life [TS]

  the crazy part is if you get your Casper [TS]

  mattress for some reason we could just [TS]

  not the Paisley mattress John's over 20 [TS]

  years [TS]

  halfway through the read listen if [TS]

  anybody wants to come by be the last one [TS]

  to sleeping on a mattress this could be [TS]

  a promotion with Casper maybe cast which [TS]

  is what contest be the last one to leave [TS]

  your mark on John's Paisley that's right [TS]

  yeah that's right you can take it with [TS]

  you when you go you should please [TS]

  imagine what like in the crime lab what [TS]

  they would have to deal with in terms of [TS]

  there's no control on he even imagine [TS]

  you could create you know basically you [TS]

  could repopulate the planet [TS]

  I just taking the DNA out of this [TS]

  mattress and saying like well there's I [TS]

  mean we have 400 completely separate DNA [TS]

  and probably 4,000 DNA's that have [TS]

  combined unnatural my god the island of [TS]

  dr honor you get this casper mattresses [TS]

  the one of the glass [TS]

  super-clean nitrous incredibly clean [TS]

  it's a lot nice living in a [TS]

  hermetically-sealed background God and [TS]

  you get in your house and you sleep on [TS]

  it for a hundred knights and if you are [TS]

  not satisfied for some reason you can [TS]

  send it back because that is their [TS]

  policy is free delivery paints returns [TS]

  it's made in America and get sleep [TS]

  glorious sleep all of that is incredible [TS]

  all the amazing the prices are bananas [TS]

  on these things he started with five [TS]

  hundred dollars for twin size up to 954 [TS]

  a king-size mattress that is like about [TS]

  half of what you pay in my experience [TS]

  dynamite dynamite [TS]

  I don't you know the thing is now i'm [TS]

  thinking rather than take the Paisley [TS]

  mattress out i feel like i should give [TS]

  it to a lab because there may be new [TS]

  strains of penicillin they could pull [TS]

  out of it or potentially like like [TS]

  painkillers you solve crimes [TS]

  sure well I don't think they're there [TS]

  weren't any real crimes man on that [TS]

  mattress somewhere incredible part is [TS]

  that it is a list of this show you can [TS]

  go to Casper calm / supertrain and use [TS]

  the very special offer code supertrain [TS]

  wait a minute and you get fifty dollars [TS]

  towards the purchase of any mattress my [TS]

  ship has been tastic terms and get [TS]

  supplies and test so glad I brought you [TS]

  and that's thanks to Casper for a great [TS]

  night sleep and for supporting Roderick [TS]

  online Thank You Casper you have you [TS]

  have revolutionized my life and and I [TS]

  feel like if you like when i finally get [TS]

  rid of that that old mattress it's the [TS]

  beats the dawn of a new age I have to be [TS]

  honest with you I don't know it might be [TS]

  a gas leak [TS]

  I think something's happened to me in [TS]

  the last 15 minutes do you are you [TS]

  feeling anything with the msg and the [TS]

  human my tongue has the swelling has [TS]

  gone down I still feel like there's I [TS]

  still feel like I have a battery in my [TS]

  mouth but it's just a triple a battery [TS]

  I feel like I'm falling down very very [TS]

  very very slowly [TS]

  you had the feeling he wasn't really [TS]

  going down yeah exactly like oh no I'm [TS]

  fine i think is i'm falling down but it [TS]

  might take me a week and a half now that [TS]

  you mention it I feel like I have an [TS]

  extra stomach [TS]

  yeah well you you sound both very close [TS]

  and very far away right now [TS]

  yeah well it might be it might be the [TS]

  extra stomach like I've never felt like [TS]

  I had two stomachs beforehand [TS]

  isn't weird strange i'm gonna miss that [TS]

  damn somebody I'll tell you what I miss [TS]

  it already [TS]

  so we had lunch and welcome back to [TS]

  Sunday afternoon with John Merlin who [TS]

  and we went to the 0 which the walgreens [TS]

  got some guts math half went to the [TS]

  walgreens we saw a very very interesting [TS]

  thing at the walgreens yes which I don't [TS]

  I don't mean to say i don't mean to say [TS]

  that like weird line that couldn't [TS]

  figure out whether it was a line or not [TS]

  like well everyone that join the line [TS]

  was like is this the line oh no no one's [TS]

  ever know where the line is that is a [TS]

  bunch of people standing around in there [TS]

  are some castor just let me talk about [TS]

  this walking in the past that it sounds [TS]

  so if you just listen to the program's [TS]

  you think I'm exaggerating left it with [TS]

  this is the walgreens where we bought [TS]

  the Cape [TS]

  yes we're then we went and had a night [TS]

  with John tonight with the Cape [TS]

  yes yes yes we took photos of you but [TS]

  but you know what you would you not [TS]

  agree that there is there is some kind [TS]

  of something a little bit Grimm brothers [TS]

  about this walgreens this walgreens I've [TS]

  been to a lot of walgreens let's be [TS]

  honest answers first of all it's an [TS]

  urban walgreen so it doesn't have the [TS]

  full like it doesn't stretch out like a [TS]

  normal water now it's very compact they [TS]

  probably don't have what you need and if [TS]

  they do have something that's like what [TS]

  you need [TS]

  they might have one of it or be out of [TS]

  it huh and everyone knows where the line [TS]

  is everything everytime we can like [TS]

  write because there's some machines that [TS]

  you can get your copies made all your [TS]

  photos made prescription there maybe for [TS]

  cash registers registers open or just [TS]

  the pharmacy and then no one's gonna [TS]

  reach out [TS]

  yeah there's sort of a grouping of [TS]

  people and no one's in charge and then [TS]

  it got endcaps people are fighting to [TS]

  get to the end caps and because it's the [TS]

  holidays I here in San Francisco there's [TS]

  an end cap full of sharper image branded [TS]

  products that's right which I couldn't I [TS]

  mean I stripper image has really fallen [TS]

  from its early days as a as a thing that [TS]

  was expected james bond company [TS]

  yeah really like you were CEO and you [TS]

  wanted something on your desk and said [TS]

  I'm an asshole some little bit like you [TS]

  get that is where the balls are going [TS]

  obsidian Yeah right and I'm sitting I'm [TS]

  an asshole look at me [TS]

  look at me and then they moved into [TS]

  massage chairs and air filters well [TS]

  there was a while didn't have a [TS]

  submarine was like Hammacher Schlemmer [TS]

  slam slam your hammer slammer consumers [TS]

  for they had all of those things that [TS]

  hammer slicer and and now I think I [TS]

  don't even know there's still a company [TS]

  I think they might just like PR card and [TS]

  I think just by their name to put on [TS]

  yeah it's a brand and you can just like [TS]

  yeah it's did you just put it on with [TS]

  like one of those price guns seriously [TS]

  think I love dad I want to make his day [TS]

  special yeah I want to get him something [TS]

  nice from the sharper image and cap & [TS]

  Cabot the walgreens is it would say i [TS]

  love you daddy [TS]

  yeah so we're looking at this work I [TS]

  mean you know absolutely looking at [TS]

  because we're just two guys that can't [TS]

  find it with long as we think we're in [TS]

  line but we're not sure and and then I [TS]

  notice that there's a flask sharper [TS]

  image flask an email kind of lasting put [TS]

  your back pocket down your back pocket [TS]

  plastic might take to a football game up [TS]

  lid on it is something that you know [TS]

  it's not like I'm an alcoholic it's just [TS]

  like I just want to carry somebody [TS]

  saying you're walking on you would have [TS]

  a little nip i went a little miss [TS]

  designed the small paperback book you [TS]

  can put that in your pocket enjoy a [TS]

  little bit of just something if you may [TS]

  be out in a duck blind or you're sitting [TS]

  at sitting up under Pendleton blanket at [TS]

  the at the college game which in your [TS]

  vest pocket polo flash flash give [TS]

  somebody give the guy next to you and [TS]

  nip put a little bit in your coffee [TS]

  maybe [TS]

  sure right doesn't mean you have a [TS]

  drinking problem just means that you [TS]

  want a little you just want like eight [TS]

  ounces Merry Christmas but this flask is [TS]

  characterized by a unique it has a [TS]

  unique quality that other flash don't [TS]

  which is that it is a 40-ounce flat [TS]

  40-ounce baskets about the size of a [TS]

  professional frisbee [TS]

  yeah that's right it's about so it's a [TS]

  disciple 175 [TS]

  yeah but it's shaped in every other way [TS]

  my hip pockets like a hip flask [TS]

  yeah and so we stared at it we picked it [TS]

  up off the shelf and passed it back and [TS]

  forth between yes tried to we tried to [TS]

  imagine how how bored we try to compute [TS]

  if you can put an entire liquor bomb [TS]

  into this which you could well I'd also [TS]

  as it happens there is a standard [TS]

  alcohol unit that is 40 ounces alone a [TS]

  lot of people think of malt liquor they [TS]

  think of a quart of malt liquor right [TS]

  but we're talking about a 40 do you [TS]

  no how many ounces is 40 ounces mm it's [TS]

  yeah it's a lot of a lot of that I can't [TS]

  do the math that fast but and so if [TS]

  you're holding this flask you'd base [TS]

  basically in scale you would like an [TS]

  alcoholic child it's more that's right [TS]

  it's more than a leader it's like to [TS]

  love 1.2 leaders and and just imagining [TS]

  like you would have to you would have to [TS]

  either have a friend help you carry it [TS]

  yes you can put it in the back pocket of [TS]

  your films and jacket but it wasn't [TS]

  co-branded with filson no that's just a [TS]

  little thing i'm doing [TS]

  whoo-hoo and is honestly I almost bought [TS]

  it and I still think maybe i want to buy [TS]

  it looks so good because on the [TS]

  passenger seat [TS]

  yeah it goes with the RV right it just [TS]

  go sleep and the thing is i would fill [TS]

  with acetone or benzene yeah something [TS]

  that you need if you want to and like [TS]

  prime a fuel-injection system [TS]

  30-5 search for 1.5 liters / no by all [TS]

  means are taking it [TS]

  it's full of acetone we have plenty of [TS]

  time to look at it it's a fantastic [TS]

  thing and the more I think about it the [TS]

  more I like once you get it you get it i [TS]

  feel like i wanted i mean I'm you know [TS]

  what I'm just gonna buy it for christmas [TS]

  that's sweet of you yeah you got to wrap [TS]

  yourselves that alright yeah ok I'm [TS]

  going to wrap it haha i don't want to [TS]

  make it John feeling I'm feeling i think [TS]

  i had too much human do you want some [TS]

  special month when I live in upland you [TS]

  know I'm surprised as sitting here [TS]

  looking at you [TS]

  yeah that the this is this is spills [TS]

  like a normal podcast it feels like [TS]

  sitting around with you talking if I [TS]

  were hallucinating from the food i would [TS]

  be feeling pretty good [TS]

  somebody asked me the other day whether [TS]

  we look at each other when we podcasting [TS]

  I was like no yes I'm you get questions [TS]

  that are hard to answer because they're [TS]

  so wrong we're not even right yeah I [TS]

  like it will ask me how long it i have [TS]

  been asking the past how long it takes [TS]

  to write in episodes haha that's [TS]

  difficult to answer you know somebody [TS]

  asked me the other day like how much [TS]

  preparation i do before on the line I'll [TS]

  get all got rehearsal you got scheduling [TS]

  you got the fittings get to the fittings [TS]

  know sometimes I put on a shirt but I i [TS]

  remember the first time you called me on [TS]

  skype and I or maybe I called you or [TS]

  something like that but it was like I i [TS]

  push the video button [TS]

  because i didn't know what i was doing [TS]

  my nightmare and you were you started [TS]

  yelling no no no video no video and I've [TS]

  never since then I've never used video [TS]

  skype I why don't even I don't even [TS]

  touch it the button that button just [TS]

  feels like like like some kind of flush [TS]

  button [TS]

  I don't trigger people but I happen to [TS]

  know that I share an electronic fear [TS]

  with with other people a lot of my [TS]

  friends have this your biggest fear is [TS]

  your phone starts ringing it's a weird [TS]

  ringtone oh my god it's a FaceTime [TS]

  clearly call you pick it up [TS]

  unknown caller requesting a video call [TS]

  haha that happen to us triggering yes [TS]

  somebody in trinidad and tobago Kaponi [TS]

  alexa turn office lights off yeah also [TS]

  just so you know anybody who has a an [TS]

  Amazon echo in the house you turned off [TS]

  their life [TS]

  why do exactly that's great alexa uh [TS]

  open garage door couldn't find a [TS]

  divisive group named garage door moving [TS]

  profile alexa who's John Roderick Oh [TS]

  John Roderick is an American musician [TS]

  writer podcaster and politician I'm a [TS]

  podcaster and politician that's Thank [TS]

  You election [TS]

  thank you oof that's a good work here [TS]

  writing I feel like when do I feel I [TS]

  actually feel a little bit we look like [TS]

  my like my arm like my eyelids are [TS]

  sweating yeah i'm starting to get the [TS]

  Rosicrucians of msg as I said that group [TS]

  of friars that you can get the tear out [TS]

  of magazines that they have a monastery [TS]

  important the Rosicrucians the [TS]

  Rosicrucians of different from rosacea [TS]

  that's what I English boy spanglish boys [TS]

  had their oh yeah rosacea is a show [TS]

  that's how you tell a German from a [TS]

  group of other white people [TS]

  it's alright yeah i got that capillaries [TS]

  yeah the capillary start to burst at a [TS]

  young age the uber storm capillaries [TS]

  scheisse [TS]

  well it's dark in here now it is dark [TS]

  shop alexa turn on [TS]

  those lights ok ok it's pretty Boyce's I [TS]

  I feel like she should be more [TS]

  respectful of course needs to I think I [TS]

  think she should say okay or I think she [TS]

  should say yes sir or yes mr. Roderick [TS]

  or yes mr. man [TS]

  mhm like okay just feels like what the [TS]

  food the fucker you used to get that [TS]

  with my gps where I really felt like I [TS]

  knew in my head to to a near certainty [TS]

  that there's no way the voice was [TS]

  actually getting frustrated with me but [TS]

  still we go [TS]

  recalculating I just don't I just felt [TS]

  like decades of disappointment in the [TS]

  place is like make a u-turn when [TS]

  possible [TS]

  recalculating make a u-turn well the [TS]

  thing i love about the new gps is is [TS]

  that they have started to do like given [TS]

  normal traffic there you are on the [TS]

  fastest route except for like at the one [TS]

  of them said to me today except for some [TS]

  traffic was like some how do you know [TS]

  about some traffic you don't know you [TS]

  don't know how much traffic is some [TS]

  traffic you're you're like a you're an [TS]

  algorithm another man start don't start [TS]

  put using like it with me started using [TS]

  mitigating words ray like maybe you'll [TS]

  get there at that it's like Oh for your [TS]

  drive home [TS]

  it's going to be a little bit busy huh [TS]

  and I thought is that I feel like it's [TS]

  the you know what it is it's casual [TS]

  Friday everywhere [TS]

  yeah and they're all the people that are [TS]

  making these robots for us they're like [TS]

  oh what we want is a robot that's really [TS]

  cash so it's serious as who's John [TS]

  Roderick oh my god says who's your [TS]

  daughter turned on what my gosh it Bob's [TS]

  your daughter that's not the influence [TS]

  is really horrifying [TS]

  who's John Roderick 00087 just pull up [TS]

  your card lets you got anything [TS]

  yeah I want to hear her voice wikipedia [TS]

  John Roderick I just because all it [TS]

  isn't this photo of you look at that is [TS]

  early and that's a home haircut huh [TS]

  is there a nice photo or 40 just having [TS]

  a 47 i did i just turned 40 I was back [TS]

  in September 47 it turns out when people [TS]

  uh [TS]

  this is something i didn't know but that [TS]

  middle-aged white men are afforded [TS]

  certain uh privileges in our society I [TS]

  don't think that's accurate and and as a [TS]

  right when i turned 47 all the sudden I [TS]

  started getting treated differently i [TS]

  was already traded with a lot of respect [TS]

  just by General by the general [TS]

  population after carrier mom's groceries [TS]

  yeah yeah right exactly but Meryl I just [TS]

  feel like I feel like the police are [TS]

  very respectful i gotta pull I gotta [TS]

  park are not a parking a speeding ticket [TS]

  driving through pepperdine university [TS]

  the other day in my RV and I was like [TS]

  you know the this is a college campus in [TS]

  there is no part of it where you can [TS]

  drive an RV 60 miles an hour and that I [TS]

  was like did you break that question in [TS]

  two parts like you know I suppose I do a [TS]

  lot of things are suffering do you mean [TS]

  no place that's very poorly worded he [TS]

  said when when you tried to stop it you [TS]

  actually skidded to a stop but I was [TS]

  like that was a big hill so I got a [TS]

  speeding ticket but and so he handed me [TS]

  the ticket to sign and I was very [TS]

  frustrated with him because I was like [TS]

  I'm in an RV like I want some special [TS]

  dispensation here i just bought this [TS]

  thing i'm driving to California doing [TS]

  you a favor [TS]

  absolutely should be excited for you I'm [TS]

  bringing commerce to you yes and so he [TS]

  handed me the ticket to sign and I was [TS]

  feeling I was feeling very much like one [TS]

  of those guys that's like I know my [TS]

  rights only one of the YouTube guys [TS]

  youtube guys it's like I don't have to [TS]

  open my window more than one inch that's [TS]

  just to be able to pass documents [TS]

  through that's right and so the cop [TS]

  hands meeting design and I drew and x su [TS]

  on my signature internet and handed it [TS]

  back to and he was a California state [TS]

  highway patrolman Oh chip and he said [TS]

  sir is that your signature and I said [TS]

  they called me mr. X is that no let me [TS]

  hand it back to me and I scrawled some [TS]

  like battleship with gyro definitely [TS]

  here [TS]

  Mildred you're not gonna believe what [TS]

  just happened I felt like a man decides [TS]

  to get wrong [TS]

  come on X you should have you been Jimmy [TS]

  was last time somebody sign the ticket X [TS]

  doesn't matter they'll be signed for [TS]

  credit card you draw a tree on there i [TS]

  can do it all the time you draw to draw [TS]

  pictures of penis [TS]

  I don't really that's not my style [TS]

  that's not you but I do not make any [TS]

  attempt to replicate my actual signature [TS]

  looks terrific [TS]

  I go Lou and a lot of times i make that [TS]

  sound and I look at the cashier as I'm [TS]

  drawing it right I don't look at what [TS]

  i'm doing i just go really really rude [TS]

  and they always laughing think I'm [TS]

  charming people who deliver our [TS]

  groceries will have to sign for [TS]

  something they've stopped even asking me [TS]

  they just signed himself now and I say [TS]

  did you want me to sign sign that and [TS]

  they go [TS]

  that's right I'll do it well so this is [TS]

  the crazy thing is that people continue [TS]

  to send us PDFs on the internet and say [TS]

  we need you to sign this in fact it back [TS]

  and I'm like you bastards [TS]

  you bastard his fax it back i will not [TS]

  sign it and they're like well sorry but [TS]

  we can't [TS]

  yeah it's disgusting state of affairs [TS]

  generalizing like a little bit about a [TS]

  sponsor this week another sponsor this [TS]

  is braintree braintree is code for easy [TS]

  online payments you learn more by going [TS]

  to braintree payments dot-com / [TS]

  supertrain [TS]

  he's braintree before I you have you [TS]

  just didn't know it [TS]

  what happened when was it all the time [TS]

  you get John if you forgive me use the [TS]

  number 0 answers yes yes yes have you [TS]

  ever been to an Airbnb oh yes i just [TS]

  recently was never I get on livingsocial [TS]

  whatever that is [TS]

  livingsocial all the times that like oh [TS]

  yes i do go there and we've got monetary [TS]

  delivered mantri terrible name for [TS]

  company we've got mantri oh yes we have [TS]

  you know that we should get on that [TS]

  today instead of the eat those batteries [TS]

  they they are the payment solution used [TS]

  by companies like that did you know that [TS]

  braintree braintree braintree is is [TS]

  behind the scenes making all this [TS]

  commerce happen that's an excellent [TS]

  question John appreciate you asking me [TS]

  that [TS]

  what you do is you drop in some code and [TS]

  get a full stack payment solution [TS]

  uh code like like computer code code for [TS]

  easy online payments so if your mobile [TS]

  app developer you gotta check out [TS]

  braintree here's the deal they made the [TS]

  payment experiences in so many bf's all [TS]

  the great app seamless and magical and [TS]

  now you can add a similar experience to [TS]

  your own app so this is this the [TS]

  braintree is it isn't it is a thing that [TS]

  you would use if you were building a nap [TS]

  yes to build in the functionality of [TS]

  online payments that's an excellent [TS]

  question [TS]

  Casper's mattress is a one-of-a-kind [TS]

  hybrid mattress IC right and right and [TS]

  so bring tree is not it's not a thing [TS]

  that a consumer would you yes it's [TS]

  absolutely the consumer uses not being [TS]

  consumed by cause here's how it works [TS]

  you've made a nap and I need to figure [TS]

  out a way how to do what make money with [TS]

  it yet so what you want to do is you [TS]

  would have a way to drop in just a tiny [TS]

  bit of code with that one easy [TS]

  integration you can now have you can now [TS]

  payments through what you got you got [TS]

  paypal Apple pay right [TS]

  bitcoin just so you saw me use Apple pay [TS]

  today first time you've ever seen it i [TS]

  did see you use Apple pay at the [TS]

  walgreen Bitcoin venmo cards credit [TS]

  cards and more always that one single [TS]

  integration across all platforms [TS]

  superior fraud protection customer [TS]

  service and fast passed on my eyes are [TS]

  literally salivating right now I can see [TS]

  you can see their movie series fast i'm [TS]

  extremely uncomfortable with this but I [TS]

  have to continue because it's so [TS]

  important for you to know that you can [TS]

  learn more and get your first $50,000 [TS]

  American and transactions be free by [TS]

  going to braintree payments dot-com / [TS]

  super trains you know that I didn't know [TS]

  and it and it's a it's like a [TS]

  symptomatic of our age yes if that [TS]

  $50,000 in payments to your app would be [TS]

  considered a like lost leader for this [TS]

  company i'm not here to tell Brandi what [TS]

  their model is I know that they're there [TS]

  a terrific company get the simple [TS]

  integrations you can get ready to [TS]

  receive those payments quickly and [TS]

  here's the thing branches continuous [TS]

  support that means fast payouts means [TS]

  you'll be prepared as your company grows [TS]

  from your first dollar in my case to [TS]

  your billion-dollar in John's case you [TS]

  find out more about this right now [TS]

  please go and have a look at you know [TS]

  what to say the truth [TS]

  turns out off the record i work with [TS]

  these folks in the past so what I've [TS]

  been in visit with them very fantastic [TS]

  group you know the the to my favorite [TS]

  two words in the English language I [TS]

  didn't realize it until you just said [TS]

  you've asked to pay out fast payouts i [TS]

  love fat [TS]

  oh my gosh I'll I can't even tell you [TS]

  what a difference it makes for fast path [TS]

  when I was back in the day when I was [TS]

  getting slow payout was literally this [TS]

  class I was like I was like what the [TS]

  what the what [TS]

  yeah you know you're sending your [TS]

  sending postcards to people you're [TS]

  calling him on the telephone said hey [TS]

  you know the guy over here you're taking [TS]

  out ads on a blimp sand-like pay me full [TS]

  page and variety for full pigeon variety [TS]

  sure pay me pay me fast payouts Amy a.m [TS]

  fucker or whatever [TS]

  yeah right fast payouts fast payday i [TS]

  love a fastpass braintree payments calm [TS]

  / supertrain fat [TS]

  ask paths think we should start over [TS]

  uh with what I can't you mean the whole [TS]

  pod guys can't tell you about getting [TS]

  running on the line I can't afford one [TS]

  can't i can't tell if I either can't [TS]

  feel my eyelids or if I feel them too [TS]

  much your pupils are literally the size [TS]

  of pies i think is I've never tasted [TS]

  cumin in chinese food before you've [TS]

  never tasted human and Chinese are just [TS]

  let me walk that back [TS]

  I've never tasted cumin ok chinese food [TS]

  before there were all kinds of little [TS]

  berries now that I'm thinking about it [TS]

  there were little berries in that fish [TS]

  dish like little strange little berries [TS]

  not not like lychee fruit but like [TS]

  little uh name and number there were [TS]

  numbers they were being numbers i think [TS]

  there might be some being there might be [TS]

  I think it was a hot pepper nubbin there [TS]

  are a lot of there was a kind of a [TS]

  blooming flower blooming blooming onion [TS]

  feeling like there's something rolling [TS]

  out of the broth [TS]

  maybe it was royal jelly it was heavily [TS]

  and brought it does that mean by the [TS]

  bees [TS]

  yeah but and I feel like to get out of [TS]

  the Queen's hive feel like there might [TS]

  have been some B's you might have had [TS]

  that on your old mattress that's what [TS]

  for sure I did [TS]

  that's why my tongue feels like i was [TS]

  licking a battery it's because the [TS]

  movies in the food and they were then [TS]

  that's actually like beaver them myself [TS]

  right [TS]

  do you feel now that I've said it do you [TS]

  feel like you had some bee venom today [TS]

  you know what I couldn't promise you I [TS]

  had no I feel I feel super-weird I think [TS]

  something's happened I don't get food [TS]

  poisoning is nothing like food poisoning [TS]

  i think i might have like a third eye [TS]

  I feel like I'm seeing stuff that I did [TS]

  not I'm feeling stuff that i did not [TS]

  feel before we had a lot of food we did [TS]

  you know you look just like the baby in [TS]

  eraserhead oh my god so do you [TS]

  thank you what is that was that garlic [TS]

  on the beans we have the green beans [TS]

  they're not not the number being the [TS]

  canonical beans green beans would like [TS]

  without a garlic on it that's the thing [TS]

  it didn't taste like garlic it tasted [TS]

  like what 9-volt batteries just like a [TS]

  one who phone might think of garlic [TS]

  tasted like I i don't i cannot account [TS]

  for the thing is I'm pretty invulnerable [TS]

  to food poisoning [TS]

  yes or ecoli really oh wait you have [TS]

  reason for this right and also you dare [TS]

  text you can get your tix right well so [TS]

  I do test positive for the antibodies [TS]

  for Lyme disease but I've never actually [TS]

  contracted Lyme disease or maybe i have [TS]

  lyme disease all the time but it hasn't [TS]

  made me see your still narrowing these [TS]

  things down yeah it's just made me [TS]

  impervious I'm sort of like Dark Phoenix [TS]

  where I'm impervious to live disease but [TS]

  I can't bend my legs or sit but i have [TS]

  great hair and I'm fighting crime in my [TS]

  high heel samples [TS]

  it's sort of like that yeah yeah yeah so [TS]

  yeah there are a lot of things I you [TS]

  know I ate a jack-in-the-box one many [TS]

  years ago really right during the e.coli [TS]

  thing that killed like a bunch of kids [TS]

  and I got very sick but didn't kill me [TS]

  because I'm strong like bull [TS]

  probably but it actually made you [TS]

  stronger i think it did I think it made [TS]

  me impervious to that everything people [TS]

  get food poisoning all around me and [TS]

  everything I just affects you [TS]

  I just assimilated into my muscles i [TS]

  think it's because they're so because [TS]

  I'm sleeping on a bed of penicillin [TS]

  haha china i'm just going to the menu [TS]

  quickly here i'm just looking at some of [TS]

  the items see this is what's amazing is [TS]

  that normally I said in front of a [TS]

  computer and look at pictures of old [TS]

  cars [TS]

  I know but I'm seeing you scroll through [TS]

  unix databases are you on the dark web [TS]

  right now didn't say is this is ours is [TS]

  a tour [TS]

  I'm is a called working John ah here's a [TS]

  couple of these gonna give you does not [TS]

  working i'm looking at a Chinese menu [TS]

  and picking up and used to have you seen [TS]

  how fairly randomly these choices have [TS]

  been you've seen me make a few choices [TS]

  from this menu and paste [TS]

  from this menu and paste [TS]

  yeah that's right most online menu and [TS]

  i'm copying pasting just the ones that I [TS]

  could see why I'm very carefully listen [TS]

  to what John is saying you are so many [TS]

  items that are available on the menu [TS]

  today you got the picture of a 13 at the [TS]

  boil bullfrog stunning double stunning [TS]

  double pepper fish head stunning stubble [TS]

  pepper efficient sauerkraut tofu soup [TS]

  yeah this is whatever you actually [TS]

  saying you didn't want to try house [TS]

  Trotter I don't want the house track I [TS]

  know for sure I don't I've had it [TS]

  if this Robin dictionary that house [TS]

  Trotter don't want to be stronger [TS]

  yeah I had I had how stronger i bet i've [TS]

  had a hairy monk fish then and I had a [TS]

  cleveland steamer and I don't want to do [TS]

  acid acid drops beans pork [TS]

  yeah i heard various about that acid [TS]

  drops beans pork marinated fountain [TS]

  marinated fountainhead marinated [TS]

  fountain [TS]

  I was just talking to somebody the other [TS]

  day who is a medical examiner in Arizona [TS]

  so nice [TS]

  actually I was talking to someone who [TS]

  knows a medical examiner in there some [TS]

  good enough for podcast and um and the [TS]

  medical examiner said that one of the [TS]

  most common ways for people to die in [TS]

  Arizona is that they get they get drunk [TS]

  and they fall into the swimming pool [TS]

  um so here that it seems like they would [TS]

  know about that and take precautions i [TS]

  can think of at least two things that [TS]

  would help that from happening [TS]

  what are the two don't get too drunk and [TS]

  stay away from your fucking pool that's [TS]

  right if you are too drunk [TS]

  don't get near pool maybe maybe get [TS]

  serious like remind you if I get super [TS]

  fucking drunk don't go near the pool [TS]

  your what are you feeling what is [TS]

  whether the maybe maybe it's like eating [TS]

  right maybe wait half an hour before you [TS]

  go and so here they are their living by [TS]

  themselves somewhere in Arizona that [TS]

  could get too fucked up on little tiny [TS]

  bottles of ships regal who and then they [TS]

  walk out the back door they stumble and [TS]

  fall into the swimming pool and died and [TS]

  this is this is not just a thing that [TS]

  has had an isolated occurrence it's not [TS]

  like spontaneous human combustion it's a [TS]

  cleaning the gun hurt yourself kind of [TS]

  thing like it happen this happens all [TS]

  the time [TS]

  I'm so according to this friend of mine [TS]

  who knows a medical examiner the medical [TS]

  examiner said that what happened [TS]

  when these people fall into the swimming [TS]

  pool dead from drinking is that it's [TS]

  very hot climate and that if they live [TS]

  alone and are not discovered very soon [TS]

  their bodies undergo decomposition no [TS]

  floating in the pool and when they are [TS]

  finally discovered by the medical [TS]

  examiner they are a skeleton and then a [TS]

  very thick sludge across the entire top [TS]

  like a 2-inch like sludge across the [TS]

  swimming pool pounds that take [TS]

  well I don't know I'm not a medical exam [TS]

  now but the it decays and your flesh [TS]

  just like liquefies in the water and [TS]

  went through the process of [TS]

  decomposition oh my god and the skeleton [TS]

  just sort of i and this is the the first [TS]

  question I had of course natural [TS]

  question i'm sure it's the first [TS]

  question you and all of our listeners [TS]

  are thinking yes does the cat skeleton [TS]

  sink to the bottom or does the skeleton [TS]

  float in the sludge i would probably I [TS]

  was imagining it floating two feet below [TS]

  the surface right just a little bit just [TS]

  skeleton sort of mostly intact still [TS]

  held together with the ligaments and [TS]

  just sort of floating it's not just [TS]

  bones is so that's that meat not mean [TS]

  that muscles yeah it's just the whistle [TS]

  whistle the crystals probably holding it [TS]

  together and gristle [TS]

  I mean I but this is the thing i don't [TS]

  know maybe the heavy bones break break [TS]

  and fall like the head of Famer [TS]

  Yeah right right right so but the [TS]

  medical examiner comes and it's like [TS]

  okay there's like this like this the [TS]

  sludge this sort of oily like top [TS]

  surface that we have to see what's let's [TS]

  get on soup you have to skim it when [TS]

  you're going to saving at the baguette [TS]

  baguette a get you taken back to HQ [TS]

  right she bagged it you take it because [TS]

  some some relatives going to want that [TS]

  to bury it with with an American flag [TS]

  over the casket yeah yeah good thanks [TS]

  for service [TS]

  that's right and so I've been thinking [TS]

  about that all day of cheese and feeling [TS]

  like that's kind of an interesting sort [TS]

  of phenomenon that doesn't actually [TS]

  sound like that bad of a way to go white [TS]

  oil sausage philippine sweet intestine a [TS]

  lot of my sweet intestine to be made in [TS]

  the Cambodian style large pan of chicken [TS]

  haha [TS]

  uh-huh and one another one remember [TS]

  specifically Nixon was half 1111 meat [TS]

  section I didn't want 11 meat section [TS]

  either [TS]

  yeah I I you know I don't like meat [TS]

  section from the LaVon I i prefer your [TS]

  sorry butt so I the other poke the [TS]

  second poke the second one having any [TS]

  way you can actually see our thanks to [TS]

  braintree for supporting our online next [TS]

  victory [TS]

  yeah thnkx for a speedy p-speed payment [TS]

  fast payouts I don't feel like myself [TS]

  John maybe it's just more nuts i don't i [TS]

  don't feel right [TS]

  nothing is you look great i took a [TS]

  picture of you earlier today that was [TS]

  like a sort of a comedy picture you know [TS]

  where you looked a little bit like hey [TS]

  man just gonna finally figured out where [TS]

  you got that from what I totally got it [TS]

  what dan Aykroyd and trading places in [TS]

  my rights exam you didn't he didn't even [TS]

  identified it before [TS]

  that's it here in Santa cost ya he pulls [TS]

  the salmon out of the seven girls yeah [TS]

  I've been using that for years i did not [TS]

  know them with that [TS]

  oh my god that movie is so good he's not [TS]

  ceased and thank you this Merlin special [TS]

  blend [TS]

  he's standing outside the restaurant [TS]

  looking in and he pulls the people's the [TS]

  ruthless compassion is because got a [TS]

  whole fish he just needs a covered went [TS]

  to better care Santa arrow i watched a [TS]

  hotel room [TS]

  listen is great i thank you thank you [TS]

  for getting that my god my god [TS]

  mm you know give me people pay us for [TS]

  the show admit the bonus episode how so [TS]

  how how would this be a bone alright [TS]

  people would have to pay extra [TS]

  yeah maybe like you have to patreon me [TS]

  because this isn't normal it's not [TS]

  economical episode this is like you [TS]

  Senora know you mean like this like a [TS]

  special like a like a like a like a [TS]

  giant-size x-men like this is only [TS]

  happen once a year an annual yeah I [TS]

  don't get the x-men she's in x-men who [TS]

  that Marvel girl AKA his kid girl you [TS]

  got working in their hear you talking [TS]

  like Romo so which one is in the x-men [TS]

  is that the the dark one of the [TS]

  Greenland [TS]

  same person lion also spider woman's she [TS]

  also can't sit down oh my goodness her [TS]

  butt cheeks are larger than life I said [TS]

  I support this character of the black [TS]

  queen how many versions Phoenix happen [TS]

  why does she [TS]

  this looks like the this she looks very [TS]

  much like the Red Queen in Game of [TS]

  Thrones yeah except the Red Queen would [TS]

  not wear this terrible black diaper I [TS]

  like marble girl and this is Iron Fist [TS]

  ok so iron fist is for dorks the only [TS]

  person that will play with iron fist [TS]

  totally [TS]

  this is a badass whole fucking he stuck [TS]

  his hands into a Dragonman he had he [TS]

  looks like it looks like powder blue [TS]

  Batman except instead of a bat symbol [TS]

  it's exactly the bat symbol except the [TS]

  bad has a long neck and it's a dragon so [TS]

  this guy is a total frickin door total [TS]

  badass now marvel he's got a netflix [TS]

  show coming [TS]

  what the dingling here now fist iron [TS]

  fist why don't we calm dragon boy [TS]

  write that down so Marvel girl is great [TS]

  she looks like somebody that would be in [TS]

  the sixties Batman show [TS]

  yeah and she has knee high stockings [TS]

  I think those are boots oh well I prefer [TS]

  to think of them as knee-high socks all [TS]

  right she's not wearing pantyhose [TS]

  she has a little skirt and underneath [TS]

  the skirt you can see her panties which [TS]

  are she has green panties and she's just [TS]

  really got a nice body very cute very [TS]

  lovely girl original she has oh well [TS]

  that's a little bored to be a mirror but [TS]

  she's still very pretty redhair some [TS]

  kind of stupid green Batman master that [TS]

  you might wear to a like a Venetian New [TS]

  Year's Eve party huh [TS]

  I think she's my favorite so far and [TS]

  there's then there's the queen is not [TS]

  wearing her her cape and that one well [TS]

  she's business after she's been brought [TS]

  into the Hellfire Club in there [TS]

  controlling your mind i see she's [TS]

  wearing a bra now which is like okay [TS]

  yeah put on a shirt and then she has [TS]

  some gloves that go all the way up to [TS]

  the top of her arm heart superhero in [TS]

  pretty [TS]

  pretty hot though and then in her than [TS]

  her pants are like diapers with some of [TS]

  it like black she's diapers with black [TS]

  stockings coming out of them as you know [TS]

  that's and somebody somebody in Berlin [TS]

  and that their special thing I remember [TS]

  she's wearing her hair in a bun [TS]

  mrs. Garrett was like oh I'm gonna do [TS]

  some superhero and how many of my hair [TS]

  up in a bun [TS]

  she's like hot mrs. Garrett and then a [TS]

  dog collar so that is absolutely some [TS]

  fucked-up thing that only a German would [TS]

  understand [TS]

  so anyways Hanley and then here is [TS]

  Batgirl know it's awful lot of crisis [TS]

  can't 10 Catwoman or no spider-woman [TS]

  know what I say spider professor catgirl [TS]

  know she spotted it can't feel my I'll [TS]

  it has spider girl has like that wings [TS]

  spiders don't have we should do what I [TS]

  think they don't see it flows really [TS]

  spider-girl why don't you have witnesses [TS]

  spider-woman it's not a the third know [TS]

  wings on a spider [TS]

  she's English other wings on English [TS]

  spiders don't fly have them [TS]

  ok so that that explains that [TS]

  yeah but more than any other of the [TS]

  superhero dolls that you've handed me [TS]

  what with the possible exception of [TS]

  Marvel girl who she has a very [TS]

  anatomically correct and interesting [TS]

  they frequently draw her a friendly draw [TS]

  her bosoms a little on the large side no [TS]

  not it's not my favorite thing they do [TS]

  about her but sometimes i make her [TS]

  bosoms a little large a costume the [TS]

  whole design of the costume does not [TS]

  evoke a spider as much as it evokes a [TS]

  bustier yeah and its really pointing a [TS]

  lot of vectors at her boobs [TS]

  she's got a lot of powers but then you [TS]

  should know about pheromone you turn [TS]

  around and her name is so absolutely [TS]

  crafted I mean there is somebody making [TS]

  a hundred eighty thousand dollars a year [TS]

  at Marvel whose only job is to use a [TS]

  putty knife to make this crap the spider [TS]

  and make this ass so that it looks like [TS]

  something from us from like a seventies [TS]

  Playboy and it's it feels like if this [TS]

  was really your superhero costume you [TS]

  would spend half of your superhero I'm [TS]

  just pluck it out pulling it out of your [TS]

  butt chance i would find it hard to [TS]

  focus [TS]

  yeah you're like I'm sure I can shoot [TS]

  electricity [TS]

  she has a lot more money than pirate [TS]

  powers of spider-man [TS]

  I don't remember him having the power to [TS]

  shoot electricity little plus she can do [TS]

  electricity stuff pheromones she can [TS]

  basically she's very persuasive with [TS]

  anybody but especially men because she's [TS]

  pheromones spiders i do not find are [TS]

  very persuasive when I don't [TS]

  particularly interesting far as you [TS]

  remember why would they call her spider [TS]

  going not like electricity Batgirl or [TS]

  like persuasive a butterfly girl who [TS]

  only these are butterfly wings either [TS]

  they are just full-on bat wings there's [TS]

  no other way to describe them yellow bat [TS]

  wings so she's electricity but girl here [TS]

  but that girl that girl [TS]

  about Batgirl just decided a couple of [TS]

  breaking announces got a few more dishes [TS]

  for the place where we had lunch tomato [TS]

  lettuce elucidate Morgan she's my auntie [TS]

  awful good well they're recommending [TS]

  homemade blend they're cutting the [TS]

  chemistry right out of my get away we [TS]

  know there's a whole another dollar [TS]

  that's a diff that's different smaller [TS]

  Spider Woman Spiderman was different [TS]

  scale John I don't feel like these wings [TS]

  are functional yet to item I to which is [TS]

  Christmas present the mum this is under [TS]

  northeast tasty hot spicy section is [TS]

  called northeast tasty hot spicy let me [TS]

  just a reference the smaller background [TS]

  yeah everything about her is different [TS]

  the color of her costume is different [TS]

  yeah the way the wings work the color of [TS]

  the wings and everything is different [TS]

  except the shape of her ass which is [TS]

  exactly this exquisite this is yeah it's [TS]

  a smaller version and it's just the [TS]

  identical and they wanna make sure it's [TS]

  not out of period northeast tasty hot [TS]

  spicy get item i ate parsley parsley [TS]

  yeah I 18 which is mutton I 16 you've [TS]

  got you've got lunch and me I don't [TS]

  remember business section called [TS]

  northeast tasty hot spicy [TS]

  I don't know what these items are we [TS]

  should just as parsley i'm guessing this [TS]

  is something from northeast China that [TS]

  we don't normally income yeah [TS]

  this and i know i'm trying to think of [TS]

  what is happening in northeast China [TS]

  it's like what's going on up there [TS]

  raves the house music is that where it [TS]

  is [TS]

  Northeastern's Manchester i'm thinking [TS]

  is you're right i got homemade meat [TS]

  droppings vermicelli corn segment your [TS]

  tricorn segment I think that when I [TS]

  think the word segment home thinking of [TS]

  something from the insect day genus oh [TS]

  except IE yeah house Trotter know you [TS]

  know that better [TS]

  I honestly can barely feel my eyes at [TS]

  all which is a good opportunity to say [TS]

  hey you know I would let you know this [TS]

  episode of rotting on the line is [TS]

  brought to you in part by our friends at [TS]

  Squarespace while we are three sponsor [TS]

  episode yeah 3 sponsors let's talk about [TS]

  Squarespace Squarespace circular or [TS]

  aspects ways you can learn more about [TS]

  Squarespace by point your browser to [TS] John did you know John [TS]

  John we're going to Instagram what you [TS]

  doing [TS]

  um no I'mI'm just don't take any photos [TS]

  that identify my location [TS]

  okay all right no go ahead fine um look [TS]

  handsome for it to another kind you want [TS]

  to photograph all right here of you in [TS]

  action this is the thing I've never done [TS]

  a picture of you while you were part [TS]

  lies podcasting from hydrogen peroxide [TS]

  or people want to hear hold up the [TS]

  hydrogen peroxide people want to know [TS]

  what really happens here behind the [TS]

  scenes [TS]

  alexa deploy hydrogen peroxide just [TS]

  fucking turned herself off my good old [TS]

  man that was soup all my god what just [TS]

  happened I don't know [TS]

  did you hear it too yeah she came alive [TS]

  she thought about it and then she went [TS]

  we blew I've been a huge fan and [TS]

  evangelist of Squarespace now for over [TS]

  five years John if you're aware of this [TS]

  but our site is hosted on Squarespace I [TS]

  didn't know that [TS]

  yes I do quite a bit of corresponding [TS]

  with the people at Squarespace tell ya [TS]

  design things i do that sign a few [TS]

  things i sent him back right [TS]

  I bring them out Squarespace is terrific [TS]

  and and i've been using for years and if [TS]

  you listen to this podcast right now [TS]

  which I have to assume you are because [TS]

  you are you are listening that because [TS]

  of my Squarespace that is where we host [TS]

  this podcast is where our show lives i [TS]

  can tell you is the first place i [TS]

  recommend for anybody wanting to do what [TS]

  we do [TS]

  that means if you want to have a blog if [TS]

  you want to if you want to have a [TS]

  portfolio gallery check if you have an [TS]

  online store you can do all that they [TS]

  have an ecommerce package that is out of [TS]

  control of your digits where this story [TS]

  you know ecommerce is a thing that still [TS]

  intrigues me [TS]

  you can tell he's got nothing but i [TS]

  would say it's my fight not even a joke [TS]

  it's not easy that's not even a joke you [TS]

  know you can't pull the wool over her [TS]

  eyes get big and yeah she's big and she [TS]

  doesn't take shouldn't take a lot of [TS]

  monkey does not suffer fools which is a [TS]

  problem for me let me ask you a question [TS]

  Squarespace let's say someone is [TS]

  listening to this podcast far far far in [TS]

  the future this is the thing we've [TS]

  considered before thing that I think [TS]

  about all the time you think about a lot [TS]

  let's say seven hundred years from now [TS]

  someone is thinking about the 21st [TS]

  century and they're like scouring [TS]

  through all the data who maybe they have [TS]

  a super intelligence this person [TS]

  alright and they are like listening to [TS]

  be a 25 podcast a time and you get to [TS]

  this ad read where you say if you're [TS]

  listening to this podcast which you are [TS]

  and they're gonna think about that [TS]

  consider that with their super [TS]

  intelligence and they're gonna be like [TS]

  incontrovertible who and then you say [TS]

  you're listening to this on Squarespace [TS]

  my question to you is will they still be [TS]

  listening to it on Squarespace [TS]

  I'm gonna say yes uh-huh i'm gonna say [TS]

  yes because its course this is really [TS]

  smart and I have not read as much [TS]

  science science fiction as you have but [TS]

  i think there may come a day when [TS]

  Squarespace i don't know i did i do not [TS]

  proprietary here's the thing you can put [TS]

  whatever you want to squarespace it [TS]

  doesn't even have to be good really it [TS]

  should be good just because you care a [TS]

  lot [TS]

  oh my god child is build assaults are [TS]

  home like I don't know I wasn't a woman [TS]

  listening to this the the squarespace [TS]

  facing that's so intently that I spilled [TS]

  the Seltzer on the spider girl boom on [TS]

  the spider girls but which got its got [TS]

  electric I'm thinking why didn't I think [TS]

  of this before [TS]

  pheromones so Squarespace you're saying [TS]

  seven hundred years from now you're [TS]

  saying Squarespace has become self-aware [TS]

  yes also the sites are professionally [TS]

  designed masterpieces look great right [TS]

  out of the box that's regardless of your [TS]

  skill level zero coding nerdery required [TS]

  it's so great to use they have easy [TS]

  intuitive easy-to-use tools that take [TS]

  all the pain out of getting your stuff [TS]

  up [TS]

  they also have state-of-the-art [TS]

  technology powering your site that [TS]

  ensure security and stability even if [TS]

  you get a link from a major internet [TS]

  personality like John Roderick I wish [TS]

  that I had something that would take [TS]

  some of the pain out of getting my stuff [TS]

  up to throw a lot of lumber I do [TS]

  whoo-hoo mhm I trouble would you give [TS]

  you give me a linky take Sam I'll tell [TS]

  you what [TS]

  yeah how do you feel like how do you [TS]

  feel Squarespace is going to receive [TS]

  this ad read bury the needle what time [TS]

  and what do i wear a crazy part is [TS]

  Squarespace plant start very affordable [TS]

  eight dollars eight dollars per month [TS]

  are you kidding me eight dollars per [TS]

  month you can't even smoke cigarettes [TS]

  for eight dollars a month it's a new [TS]

  kind of hybrid mattress that price even [TS]

  includes a free domain name if you sign [TS]

  up for a year which you should totally [TS]

  do so you can check these folks I [TS]

  honestly i'm using for years I you know [TS]

  the thing is you meet people and then I [TS]

  got against think my eight people may be [TS]

  that voice breaking stop at me this day [TS]

  for Shaq why should not get on mr. [TS]

  Goddard I don't know how to host my web [TS]

  comedian auction page for high school [TS]

  side my church once online [TS]

  when do I get that and you know used to [TS]

  be good right give me the ftp password [TS]

  I'll go take care of everything give me [TS]

  your password files and i get no more my [TS]

  God if I could if I had a dollar for [TS]

  everytime i said how many times you [TS]

  agree to take 150 pounds for me all your [TS]

  ftp is all you're going on and you're [TS]

  actually to make the great ftps and i'll [TS]

  put them all together in 45 you gotta [TS]

  chip Spider Woman is angry [TS]

  you gotta check these guys out and tell [TS]

  your friends about it you can start your [TS]

  free trial today with no credit card [TS]

  required by visiting we [TS]

  decided to sign up for Squarespace make [TS]

  sure to use the very special offer code [TS]

  supertrain whoa super train hit you've [TS]

  never heard our show and he doesn't if [TS]

  you put the word supertrain into the [TS]

  internet and himes it [TS]

  yeah yeah then the the spider girl [TS]

  becomes for your kind of hybrid mattress [TS]

  so make sure to use the offer code [TS]

  supertrain you ten percent off your [TS]

  first purchase our thang Squarespace for [TS]

  supporting rod online and all the great [TS]

  show you basically can't afford not to [TS]

  do it [TS]

  you literally cannot afford not to use [TS]

  Squarespace not to use Squarespace fresh [TS]

  mushrooms lunch and meet you but [TS]

  something called yuba isn't that a city [TS]

  in Arizona think it's you or Zuma zuma [TS]

  might be any young album I thought Zuma [TS]

  was that weird vodka drink that tasted [TS]

  like like treacle what's comes a time [TS]

  that's the country album i'm not sure [TS]

  but i don't wrinkle the was staying in [TS]

  it [TS]

  right that's true i do know that [TS]

  northeast China is called Manchuria [TS]

  Manchuria so this korean food you're [TS]

  looking at [TS]

  oh and they all about this how about [TS]

  this oh my god what do I begin John [TS]

  these days so goddamn weird to have [TS]

  anything like pot stickers or is adored [TS]

  him some potstickers are doing and what [TS]

  was the noise it is facing maybe try the [TS]

  guy laughing literally laughed he [TS]

  laughed uncomfortably but what it was a [TS]

  lad was it like as if I'd asked for a [TS]

  cock in a 7-up feels like it's like pop [TS]

  stickers potstickers an unusual thing to [TS]

  ask for you want to think which is what [TS]

  you want what you want to you that what [TS]

  t we don't have that in Manchuria [TS]

  already check a check for what you want [TS]

  to do is see pretty checkmark next to [TS]

  your name you want to be verified by us [TS]

  you want a pepsi you gotta pay me it's [TS]

  not free pepsi free yeah [TS]

  homemade you like Kipling I don't know [TS]

  I've never could never get old homemade [TS]

  should do punch lines from our favorite [TS]

  jokes when you find so anyway thank you [TS]

  to cast by the soup and this guy over [TS]

  here we got to get you over here [TS]

  stand back Eve I don't know how big this [TS]

  thing gets stand back [TS]

  that's good that's where the all-time [TS]

  greatest joke Stan backe I don't have a [TS]

  big this thing gets yeah that's pretty [TS]

  good yeah ever since I've been taking [TS]

  this bipolar medication [TS]

  yeah so somebody tweeted me I so we [TS]

  talked about we get and then somebody to [TS]

  me they're like I'm on that same [TS]

  medication but I makes me horny all the [TS]

  toes and I was like this is a la sonya [TS]

  ville what's likely it's nylon cha to [TS]

  Montmartre Gil it's a la loire en la a [TS]

  train [TS]

  Peter Lawford ssin and I was like nikto [TS]

  are also known as lamotrigine [TS]

  lamotrigine dancing for luck to change [TS]

  and I said I don't see a world in which [TS]

  being horny all the time is like a bad [TS]

  side effects i don't know how the time [TS]

  is pretty good [TS]

  that's a thing that a lot of people [TS]

  would appreciate sure I mean there's a [TS]

  lot of folks I don't want to put too [TS]

  fine a point on it a lot of guys would [TS]

  take a whole different medicines to get [TS]

  more that's right people are buying [TS]

  medicine line from Russia because it [TS]

  promises to make you horny my pants fit [TS]

  too well most the time and this guy [TS]

  wrote me back and he said well I'm [TS]

  single it doesn't help me an odd [TS]

  response that's really funny [TS]

  let me recommend masturbating which is [TS]

  amazing is that this is still part of [TS]

  the square spoon and read i think it's [TS]

  i'm not really sure where any of you had [TS]

  to stop at this home so I feel like it's [TS]

  a new kind of hybrid mattress house [TS]

  Trotter if you are horny all the time [TS]

  you can solve that problem is with a [TS]

  very pleasurable activity that you can [TS]

  do almost anywhere this is the one [TS]

  surprising tip for somebody's horny [TS]

  you won't believe what happens next if [TS]

  you're horny yes you don't have to fuck [TS]

  a gatorade Bob keeping you don't have to [TS]

  cut you don't have to cut a hole in the [TS]

  drywall is it [TS]

  somewhere like a funny officers were [TS]

  like sexy outfit the gatorade bottle [TS]

  right the gatorade bottle is made to [TS]

  look like human but sales made to look [TS]

  like spider woman's butt and it and they [TS]

  could actually sell those huh [TS]

  no you can just you can turn off the [TS]

  lights even have you see like where you [TS]

  can buy a foot that you can fuck you can [TS]

  use all kinds [TS]

  yeah yeah outside of Germany now is I'm [TS]

  pretty sure you can get it if it's a [TS]

  boost Schieffer services Joseph [TS]

  Pacifican ya know ? low starting soon [TS]

  houston shooting footage yeah haha well [TS]

  she's looking through swimmer you know [TS]

  when they start with these just like [TS]

  fucking foot so it's a it's a it's a [TS]

  thing if you like to fuck feet and it's [TS]

  a place like a like a oh my god [TS]

  so wait a minute you're not meant to put [TS]

  your penis between the toes know there's [TS]

  a MacGuffin inside the MacGuffin you [TS]

  start out thinking it's Puckle foot its [TS]

  thing you rub on yeah you're right i did [TS]

  i'm talking about real it'll be a little [TS]

  too organic and I don't feel about the [TS]

  story about the posies the poses on tour [TS]

  in spain and the drummer was asleep in [TS]

  his bed and he woke up in the bass [TS]

  player and his dick between his toes and [TS]

  was just it was just fucking his foot [TS]

  and the drugs like the drummer's like [TS]

  what are you doing in the database was [TS]

  just laughing and he's like I'm fucking [TS]

  your foot [TS]

  he's just fucking his foot are you [TS]

  kidding was sleeping this is the poses [TS]

  this is why you shouldn't look how long [TS]

  ago I was a while back [TS]

  ok I mean it's not not not the new Posey [TS]

  not getting oranger uh no no pre him but [TS]

  this is different than that yeah this is [TS]

  this is real super specialized yeah this [TS]

  is a foot which looks like a severed [TS]

  foot and you can see what the name of [TS]

  what the item is called it's no it's [TS]

  called I can tell this is real estate [TS]

  fools God is on gizmodo and they have [TS]

  their renowned for their sense of humor [TS]

  right saying you can't be wrong [TS]

  uh and so instead of this is almost to [TS]

  the thing is it's called The Jackal the [TS]

  gentle and what it is is it's the it's [TS]

  you're not putting your actually where [TS]

  the where the bone would be where the [TS]

  leg bone is connected to the ankle bone [TS]

  I don't think you want to overcomplicate [TS]

  this if you if you cut off a foot just [TS]

  above the ankle and put a vagina [TS]

  it struck it nothing would be if you put [TS]

  a an anatomically correct vagina inside [TS]

  the top of a severed foot right you [TS]

  would have this device with Scott [TS]

  toenails and everything John yeah yeah [TS]

  it's a no it's a very accurate foot and [TS]

  it does not look like a lady's foot now [TS]

  it doesn't and it looks like somebody's [TS]

  cousins foot so you see it looks like a [TS]

  hobbit foot frankly shave topic and you [TS]

  would use this pleasure yourself but I [TS]

  don't have a foot fetish missed because [TS]

  it really for a foot fetishes [TS]

  it's for a disembodied your ankle with a [TS]

  vagina infectious somebody who wants to [TS]

  have sex with every part of your body [TS]

  one at a time like after but like to [TS]

  have this a doctor Moreau level of [TS]

  authenticity to think where they would [TS]

  normally be just the rest of a person [TS]

  yeah there's a there's a absolute [TS]

  uncanny valley problem here and I can [TS]

  only imagine the most foot fetishists [TS]

  would want to put a sock and shoe on it [TS]

  sure where you just get something just [TS]

  looks like a regular foot without a [TS]

  vagina on it you know it's a little bit [TS]

  a little bit of you know chocolate [TS]

  peanut butter six situation except once [TS]

  the vagina yeah if you just want to like [TS]

  worship foot yes [TS]

  you don't want a general on it yeah the [TS]

  genes-- belong in a certain place that's [TS]

  true yeah well which is to say that the [TS]

  top of the Gator house Trotter tasty [TS]

  craw fish [TS]

  you see I can name every kind of chinese [TS]

  food we got chron fish the canyon and [TS]

  hawthorne sugar coasted hard [TS]

  what the fuck does that mean chief for [TS]

  Hawthorn sugar-coated Hawes was a haha [TS]

  it's some kind of Trotter oh look how [TS]

  strong a whole different from us and [TS]

  adding a hot it is very much isn't a [TS]

  haul some kind of a pig's foot snow [TS]

  cotton hummus but what is hawthorne what [TS]

  haha that's where the beach boys are [TS]

  from right so what does that have to do [TS]

  with the sugar-coated Paul might be like [TS]

  i might be like this and a brown sugar [TS]

  daddy or sugar damn right [TS]

  what the guys are really know what I [TS]

  would like everyone to call me sugar [TS]

  daddy from now [TS]

  God will feel good chicken gizzard [TS]

  string you look great [TS]

  I don't know what how to make straight [TS]

  out of a chicken I see I'm trying to [TS]

  figure out they just define replacing [TS]

  forget to string beans but there's but [TS]

  yes you can give some strings [TS]

  ok John this is under northeast Xianyang [TS]

  tasty barbecue so we're going to assume [TS]

  that this is Manchurian you're assuming [TS]

  that yeah i'm gonna i'm going to assume [TS]

  that this mentor that's that's one [TS]

  candidate northeast shin yang tasty BBQ [TS]

  you got mutton kidney he gonna need some [TS]

  strings and got heart-shaped string [TS]

  chicken skin string you got chicken [TS]

  gizzards string you got prawn string you [TS]

  have veggie string garlic string.h 25 [TS]

  baked bread pieces i think that's bread [TS]

  baked bread pieces but it's been pieced [TS]

  it but I mean that's like bread isn't it [TS]

  I don't know greatest thing since sliced [TS]

  bread bacon mushroom roll [TS]

  see now we're starting to sound good [TS]

  except none of this sounds like any kind [TS]

  of chinese whatever h15 croaker croak [TS]

  Coker's h15 but that's not the one [TS]

  that's a dollar net the dollar [TS]

  ninety-eight broker is different from [TS]

  boiled bullfrog always gather up the [TS]

  menu now that no Trotter that house [TS]

  trying to tell city Trotter a croaker [TS]

  yeah okay broker is a quarter something [TS]

  they put on your carpets already got it [TS]

  figured this is the section called drink [TS]

  beer and drink beer this sectional drink [TS]

  beer wait a minute is it drink beer or [TS]

  is it during the actuation all lowercase [TS]

  drink beer so how would you pronounce it [TS]

  you're just doing a kind of flat drink [TS]

  beer drink beer I would say it's a total [TS]

  language that's true drink beer [TS]

  I 28 master iced tea I 30 master Sydney [TS]

  candy do not have that guy doing demo [TS]

  your Public Library [TS]

  master master master city candy is [TS]

  absolutely the most expensive dom top [TS]

  entire Northwest 1500 always pretty from [TS]

  both sides coming and going [TS]

  coconut palm curd is under drink beer [TS]

  you can get coconut palm Kurt honey [TS]

  jasmine tea [TS]

  fuck you that jasmine tea it says it [TS]

  right Gail sure why did we read this far [TS]

  down menu [TS]

  you should we should go back there with [TS]

  our 40-ounce flask and whack that guy [TS]

  right in the head [TS]

  freshly baked your human skin off you [TS]

  UFO freshly watermelon juice freshly [TS]

  watermelon juice coconut palm cord [TS]

  courtesy phone Kurt hawthorne [TS]

  sugar-coated Hawes yeah I want driving [TS]

  acid droplets meat fried beans acid [TS]

  droplets meat fried beans if I was still [TS]

  in college yeah yeah all-you-can-eat go [TS]

  down to the beach me to stand on stand [TS]

  on top of some like stomping oil fire [TS]

  soup oil fire like something off the [TS]

  coast of Santa Barbara one imagines [TS]

  maybe that's a fracking related dish oil [TS]

  oil fires 8th house Trotter I feel like [TS]

  a lot of these dishes are going to make [TS]

  me have a bad time two hours later when [TS]

  I have to pee [TS]

  maje sought a goat that's Hawaiian this [TS]

  seems like a lot of different kinds of [TS]

  food having this one restaurant [TS]

  especially with two waiters that don't [TS]

  appear to have ever seen another living [TS]

  person g9 griddle smelly gene I little [TS]

  smelly fish g9 is actually my that's [TS]

  that's actually my rating as a federal [TS]

  employee [TS]

  oh god I don't feel good I don't think [TS]

  I'm right [TS]

  air drying dried beef air-drying dried [TS]

  beef air-drying dry griddle Australian [TS]

  beef grilled Australian smelly griddle [TS]

  Australia because little spicy lamb [TS]

  belly griddle smelly spicy cauliflower [TS]

  Trey smelly call it works so many levels [TS]

  yeah from now on put the word smelly in [TS]

  front of every fortune cookie in bed [TS]

  thank you so much to our three sponsors [TS]

  this week I want to thank braintree you [TS]

  can find out more about braintree by [TS]

  going to braintree payments calm / [TS]

  supertrain Thank You braintree for your [TS]

  fast payments lockbox and thank you too [TS]

  I to Casper for their wonderful [TS]

  mattresses John's got to the mattresses [TS]

  you make another one [TS]

  Thank You Casper for uh for taking me [TS]

  away from my penicillin best Casper [TS]

  becomes super trick and finally to are [TS]

  very old very dear friends not that old [TS]

  but dear friends at the squarespace you [TS]

  learn more about them at [TS]

  with an offer code supertrain aah chak [TS]

  Squarespace please don't send me anymore [TS]

  PDF spare space like in this house [TS]

  Trotter we should get out of this [TS]

  wheelhouse traveling to go by I want you [TS]

  to go buy me that 40-ounce flask which [TS]

  I'm going to fill with acetone yeah and [TS]

  then we should go get that smelly house [TS]

  Trotter that's gonna that's really going [TS]

  to cut some of the msg you are the color [TS]

  of a tomato I don't feel right but i [TS]

  absolutely and I food does not bother me [TS]

  know sometimes fried chicken makes me [TS]

  sleepy [TS]

  I could feel my forehead it's about an [TS]

  eighth of an inch away from my head [TS]

  right now I see you're never had like [TS]

  right out here and it's both both num [TS]

  and sensitive i feel like that is I feel [TS]

  like it's a third I think I have a face [TS]

  flu [TS]

  yeah well a top face flu oh I'll cost [TS]

  you a little extra if I feel a little [TS]

  bit [TS]

  fine yeah because I'm good at processing [TS]

  all kinds of pollutants [TS]

  yeah you are really your flight I'll be [TS]

  fine I'll be fine i I'll be fine you're [TS]

  willin ya little smelly fish [TS]

  yeah okay little smelly fish marinated [TS]

  fountain good isn't grill smelly fish [TS]

  something is not a song by phoebe is it [TS]

  is that as like a kill rock stars kind [TS]

  of think yeah songs by phoebe how she go [TS]

  um sautéed pigs intestines f-14 I want [TS]

  to thank you to I want to thank you for [TS]

  giving me your special blend [TS]

  yeah I want to thank you for the fizzy [TS]

  water yes I want to thank you for Alexa [TS]

  thank merlin Wow not even it's not even [TS]

  sound Alexa who is Merlin Mann Merlin [TS]

  man 3 wrote the blog 43 folders while [TS]

  jesus fucking christ that's it that's it [TS]

  that's the whole thing Merlin d man [TS]

  wrote flee wrote I thought she said [TS]

  Merlin detail 03 / Lindy Man 3 the third [TS]

  wrote wrote the blog 43 folds can [TS]

  everybody [TS]

  wow you're so much what you are and what [TS]

  you're in runs that you're being that's [TS]

  not going to really try [TS]

  yeah okay everyone thank you so much and [TS]

  thank you for enjoying this special [TS]

  episode starts crawling on the floor for [TS]

  paying extra sure my for being extra for [TS]

  this special deluxe the holiday episode [TS]

  again feel like removing my mic and I'm [TS]

  walking through Merlin's forest of old [TS]

  hard drives to give you this final bell [TS]

  the good bell house Trotter [TS]