Roderick on the Line

Ep. 183: "Here Comes Nacho"


  this episode of Roderick on the line is [TS]

  brought to you by cards against humanity [TS]

  this week they ask paul and storm to [TS]

  help me say hi to john this [TS]

  [Music] [TS]

  I got all big on a John I'm Merlin I had [TS]

  a little bit of a technical snafu there [TS]

  you know I gotta tell you John Roderick [TS]

  as I sit here today I think technical [TS]

  snafus might in some ways to find your [TS]

  life these days [TS]

  hmm learning goals now boo I got a lot [TS]

  of snappers I got all I don't pay a guy [TS]

  or a food you're a fool just and manga [TS]

  online man that sounds good so good road [TS]

  to ride as a good road to ride somebody [TS]

  good road you know if I fooled the guy i [TS]

  don't know maybe you get bored when [TS]

  you're driving a train but i don't think [TS]

  i was I don't think it's-- that guy [TS]

  seems like he might call ahead [TS]

  well yeah that's that's exactly right [TS]

  like what keeps it moving you're gonna [TS]

  stop eventually what keeps him from [TS]

  coming down out of his switching tower [TS]

  and walking to have been saying all [TS]

  right you still owe me the money for [TS]

  whatever your pig iron rig and you can't [TS]

  just roll through here with pig iron you [TS]

  gotta stop it man [TS]

  iir our listeners can be familiar with [TS]

  what we're talking about sure they are [TS]

  they real rock outline it's a mighty [TS]

  good line [TS]

  I'm sure every 25 year-old a person [TS]

  working in the tech economy is also [TS]

  familiar with Leadbelly all of his [TS]

  record work sir I'm aware that somebody [TS]

  good road upper technically yeah so you [TS]

  know any big part of a con i think is [TS]

  never admitting it was a con and it [TS]

  comes up with operatives there's a lot [TS]

  of Intel that stays sealed for years [TS]

  even after it seems like you could tell [TS]

  people about it [TS]

  that's right because you don't want them [TS]

  to you never want them to know that they [TS]

  were fooled because the real technology [TS]

  is that you fooled them that food [TS]

  chicken [TS]

  ok this shitty operative well that's [TS]

  exactly right i mean you know he could [TS]

  you can reveal that you had a pen camera [TS]

  you can reveal that yet an umbrella a [TS]

  poison-tipped umbrella but never [TS]

  revealed that it was an operation [TS]

  well yeah and also even something it's a [TS]

  little bit like the stagecraft of [TS]

  illusion and the kind of talking now [TS]

  you're singing my song and the stage [TS]

  graduate pollution and protecting the [TS]

  effect because you know [TS]

  you want people to know well you know [TS]

  that you may not even want them to know [TS]

  they got full you don't want to know how [TS]

  they got fooled you don't want them to [TS]

  know when they got full right that's [TS]

  what this is all really critical and [TS]

  then also I mean obviously a huge part [TS]

  for the operatives must be i don't know [TS]

  i'm not an operative but it seems like a [TS]

  huge party might also be then we don't [TS]

  want you to be able to connect the dots [TS]

  on time and people in places you sound [TS]

  like my listeners know what we're [TS]

  talking about John sure they do you know [TS]

  I often wonder it was a long time ago [TS]

  Merlin when when we first started [TS]

  lowering the third the third wall let [TS]

  alone the fourth wall [TS]

  remember when we first did that one on [TS]

  the Left we just dropped that one of the [TS]

  left when we began this program we [TS]

  almost never addressed our audience or [TS]

  even acknowledged on I I still down [TS]

  still even acknowledge that there was an [TS]

  audience and then as time went on I [TS]

  remember the first time I address the [TS]

  audience I got a lot of angry letters / [TS]

  don't let us know that you know that [TS]

  we're here isn't this isn't a fury road [TS]

  don't miss them but but now I think our [TS]

  audience has become somewhat self-aware [TS]

  but you're just saying this for your [TS]

  other show John haha this is a I [TS]

  actually IIM looking forward to the next [TS]

  episode of your other program because I [TS]

  want to hear what all you got in the [TS]

  mail but we have a lot to talk about [TS]

  well i'm sitting here i mean i'll just [TS]

  give you a little teaser I've got 25 [TS]

  boxes and then that is not counting the [TS]

  envelopes and I just don't know where to [TS]

  begin but the crazy thing is that I got [TS]

  here and there were there were three UPS [TS]

  stickers on the door they're like we [TS]

  tried to deliver this we try to deliver [TS]

  it [TS]

  sorry we've got to send it back and I [TS]

  was like well 25 other boxes managed to [TS]

  get here in the one box that came by UPS [TS]

  that just can't be guys like oh I'm not [TS]

  going to leave this box will hear about [TS]

  one of those broke my heart [TS]

  the one that went back to fargo yeah [TS]

  well yeah so they sent it back to fargo [TS]

  i called the numbers are the TV show are [TS]

  part of the city [TS]

  that's the woman wasn't clear because [TS]

  she was in bangalore and so she said I [TS]

  don't know it's probably seen season 1 [TS]

  she said the [TS]

  the OIC to fargo the TV show right I i'm [TS]

  only here watching fargo the TV show me [TS]

  where far the movie [TS]

  oh dear seems like a complete universe [TS]

  and I didn't want to have to your job [TS]

  oh my goodness alright huh and I really [TS]

  don't recommend that i sent a comic book [TS]

  once that I ask you to read but apart [TS]

  from that I don't make you watch things [TS]

  but the second season of Fargo is a [TS]

  treat [TS]

  you sent me a couple of comic books i [TS]

  said if you come hot guy I yeah uh so [TS]

  you're saying you look at watchman right [TS]

  you're familiar with watchman oh yeah I [TS]

  liked watchman very much of the blue [TS]

  penis man is like it's me a bag face it [TS]

  a peg leg face and angrier AP guy ray [TS]

  and the great ready comic you got one [TS]

  glove lady one glove lady very important [TS]

  key role [TS]

  yep uh yeah it was let's see and you [TS]

  sent me the the guide to the Marvel [TS]

  Universe did I mmm that was probably me [TS]

  that's something i do yeah yeah and i [TS]

  blow i pored over that [TS]

  oh did Hank Pym really hit last or was [TS]

  that just a continuity error [TS]

  I'm tonight with the Fargo TV show I [TS]

  fear it i fear that mean that you know I [TS]

  don't need more more Fargo have a lot of [TS]

  Fargo already in my life [TS]

  well I don't go on about this because [TS]

  its people are already going it's kinda [TS]

  like the new wire where you know [TS]

  everybody's just oh yeah i mean all the [TS]

  white guys are falling all over the show [TS]

  because it is its exquisite I mean the [TS]

  storytelling is great the acting is [TS]

  great but just purely for the just the [TS]

  beauty the gorgeousness of the [TS]

  cinematography and no go ask your policy [TS]

  Newman the music's great they got the [TS]

  whoever is picking the music for that [TS]

  shows awesome AC newman have stopped [TS]

  flirting with me on the internet but I [TS]

  know me too and I've reached out what is [TS]

  ok I don't know he's somewhere up there [TS]

  in upstate New York he's forgotten his [TS]

  he doesn't care about us anymore he's [TS]

  like raisin raccoons or something [TS]

  yeah probably if your breaks my heart [TS]

  that I thought I thought I was getting [TS]

  close yeah you thought you were one of [TS]

  the one of the in crowd [TS]

  yeah that's the man with the in crowd [TS]

  but as so yeah so anyway they said this [TS]

  package back to fargo all the shops of [TS]

  course in Fargo are closed from October [TS]

  thirty-first until March 15 so all I can [TS]

  do is go to the internet and [TS]

  I if you live in Fargo and sent me a [TS]

  package send it again man i know it's [TS]

  really sad i have times that I think I [TS]

  don't know this is this is that this is [TS]

  a classic white wine but the problem of [TS]

  like delivery services is a little [TS]

  vexing to me like most of the time I [TS]

  don't particularly care it's mainly just [TS]

  a dash expectation but sometimes it gets [TS]

  downright frustrating and the classic [TS]

  and when you said you had three of those [TS]

  notices i sometimes feel like maybe the [TS]

  post office in particular since people [TS]

  around with a big pad of those things [TS]

  and they don't actually have the package [TS]

  they just wait for a moment when you go [TS]

  to take a dump and they slap it on the [TS]

  door and run away because I is having me [TS]

  numerous times i know many people have [TS]

  had the experience of like pretty much [TS]

  waiting sitting by the door because you [TS]

  know what thing is going to be delivered [TS]

  when you look away for a second look [TS]

  outside there's notice that they tried [TS]

  me [TS]

  yeah it's like the it's like when some [TS]

  house certain people you're waiting for [TS]

  a phone call and then it goes directly [TS]

  to voicemail and you can you you're like [TS]

  wait a minute i was sitting right here [TS]

  was waiting for the call [TS]

  how did you how did you do that it [TS]

  seemed like there were certain people [TS]

  that had that had special phone skills [TS]

  that could I don't know somehow just [TS]

  send it straight to voicemail when they [TS]

  didn't want to talk interesting i have a [TS]

  weird similar complimentary availability [TS]

  heuristic which is I almost never call [TS]

  anyone [TS]

  you're about the only person who calls [TS]

  me the location call me i don't know why [TS]

  i know somebody I and what happens when [TS]

  I feel a little bit freaky little bit [TS]

  and always great isn't it [TS]

  yeah that's nice that you can do that to [TS]

  me but I I don't get or make phone calls [TS]

  until I'm on a phone call and that's [TS]

  almost invariably when i get a phone [TS]

  call is what I'm already on a call with [TS]

  somebody with you interesting you know I [TS]

  don't understand how it works are [TS]

  watching you [TS]

  I have one couple weeks ago those really [TS]

  weird no big but like I our my internet [TS]

  ramen from amazon it's just really good [TS]

  at the controls about this ramen is what [TS]

  you get me one [TS]

  did I all I did when you did you try it [TS]

  well I haven't tried it yet and and it's [TS]

  it's now now no parties in California [TS]

  gonna be hard to try will cover that we [TS]

  gotta get our that but i had to reup had [TS]

  to do a reup I wanted to six new five [TS]

  packs of Internet ramen because I eat [TS]

  like one today [TS]

  yeah and he's gonna try that boy [TS]

  it's good i said it looks good and i SAT [TS]

  there and I watched i watched on the [TS]

  amazon page and later on when they made [TS]

  the that pretentious handoff to usps and [TS]

  you know your heart really drops when [TS]

  you see that is going to live among the [TS]

  post office [TS]

  mhm i think you know my history with the [TS]

  post office i do i just don't get mail I [TS]

  get a safeway flyer and the mail from [TS]

  people two doors down [TS]

  that's what I get haha we occasionally [TS]

  have this community events outside where [TS]

  we meet around seven o'clock in exchange [TS]

  mail with each other than I was [TS]

  delivered yeah so I ordered my internet [TS]

  ramen and I'm just watching it you know [TS]

  I got a little app here that keeps track [TS]

  of delivery stuff says when it's coming [TS]

  so i can be there and or whatever just [TS]

  now and i watched it and watch it move [TS]

  very slowly very slowly from California [TS]

  very slowly it had to go from just you [TS]

  know 24 have to go from chino california [TS]

  you know too i think somewhere on the [TS]

  East Coast huh [TS]

  because it's the post office and then [TS]

  it's at some more for awhile it i know [TS]

  did whatever packages do it okay it's [TS]

  coming it's on its way here coming back [TS]

  to California now and i watched it and [TS]

  it made the San Francisco like okay this [TS]

  is great project in the next five days [TS]

  and so it SAT there in San Francisco [TS]

  which is not unusual at all because I [TS]

  think sometimes they just get to it when [TS]

  they can of course they're busy people [TS]

  busy they gotta post office to run and [TS]

  then I saw that it was out for delivery [TS]

  and then was still out for delivery and [TS]

  then was out for delivery and then i saw [TS]

  i got a notification that it had reached [TS]

  its final destination and been delivered [TS]

  in chino california [TS]

  yeah so I contacted them and I said yeah [TS]

  I think my internet ramen and they said [TS]

  well said your address was undeliverable [TS]

  and I said that's strange because i had [TS]

  five other things delivered from amazon [TS]

  today because Christmas right [TS]

  yeah so anyway they had me verify my [TS]

  address that absolutely works and they [TS]

  were sent i got it yesterday / saturday [TS]

  Saturday you [TS]

  yeah but not in time for not ever Smith [TS]

  had nothing under the tree [TS]

  I don't print out a picture of ramen and [TS]

  put it into the tree oh that's too bad [TS]

  that's does that no-good christmas i had [TS]

  to it is this year i had to it as here's [TS]

  a picture of your president [TS]

  well thats like you know my dad's famous [TS]

  Christmas present was a was a [TS]

  paper grocery sack stapled closed [TS]

  well what did everything it's like [TS]

  folded over with a staple I don't want [TS]

  any when you saw that into the tree you [TS]

  knew like oh boy here comes and then [TS]

  you'd open it and there'd be a piece of [TS]

  paper the best [TS]

  merry Christmas to read the piece of [TS]

  paper and it's a good for guitar lessons [TS]

  which he would you would never force [TS]

  that lasted over here that's the other [TS]

  side of that kind of president is the [TS]

  first of all there's like so many things [TS]

  wrong with that the wrapping perfect [TS]

  that's right up my alley then there's [TS]

  the there's the whole like uh this is a [TS]

  physical good or evil it's not [TS]

  especially it's not a physical good it's [TS]

  like good for one hug kind of thing I [TS]

  know you're never going to deliver that [TS]

  alright Bobby's dishes they still have a [TS]

  booklet of those from 1975 good for one [TS]

  yeah good for one extra chore and I and [TS]

  somebody gave them to me as a gift like [TS]

  that's that's when it got a good gift [TS]

  there's a bunch of opportunities for me [TS]

  to do extra chores it's like it's like [TS]

  when you look at the ads from movies in [TS]

  the paper and and they almost all say no [TS]

  passes right [TS]

  really you're not gonna be able to use [TS]

  when you're little giveaway stocking [TS]

  stuffers to go to Star Wars it's gonna [TS]

  have to be you know so it's probably [TS]

  that is probably you know you can't [TS]

  you're ineligible to catching your hug [TS]

  after 1977 i ordered a couple of things [TS]

  from ebay if you can imagine that were [TS]

  small small things and these dead [TS]

  soldier pins their little dead soldier [TS]

  pins yeah and both of them they were the [TS]

  first time I've seen this in a long time [TS]

  both things said no tracking available [TS]

  and I was like call you know i kinda [TS]

  like I like kind of like chasing after [TS]

  the packages with the tracking [TS]

  information it's like a little own [TS]

  little personal travel show it to you [TS]

  get to watch it move across this great [TS]

  land of ours [TS]

  yeah no tracking available and I was [TS]

  like um alright and one of them said you [TS]

  know to be delivered in three days and [TS]

  one of them said to be delivered in a [TS]

  month and I I couldn't I couldn't [TS]

  explain why [TS]

  and then I did the thing that I that is [TS]

  the source of so many of these problems [TS]

  what's the source of the 25 boxes [TS]

  problem it's the source of a lot of [TS]

  these problems which is I did all these [TS]

  things then immediately left town for [TS]

  three weeks or a month and so when I got [TS]

  back I was looking forward to getting [TS]

  these two small packages [TS]

  neither of them came no sign of them [TS]

  anywhere and so I contacted both of the [TS]

  seller's through ebay and they but one [TS]

  of them wrote back immediately was like [TS]

  my packages always arrived they never [TS]

  fail to arrive [TS]

  mhm it's a guy he's a guy that's selling [TS]

  dead soldier pins so he can't be wrong [TS]

  right [TS]

  the other person actually did a fair [TS]

  amount of due diligence but said i don't [TS]

  i don't pay extra for tracking it's too [TS]

  expensive [TS]

  hmm i was like well neither thing [TS]

  arrived and how is how is that costs [TS]

  extra [TS]

  i'm not sure i'll just put stamps on it [TS]

  and throw them in the mailbox [TS]

  I don't know but in any case the the two [TS]

  things that had no tracking are the two [TS]

  things that have not arrived [TS]

  yeah and it's just like well so much for [TS]

  that so much for them apples [TS]

  I feel like I suggest not interesting by [TS]

  such a crazy person because i'll say to [TS]

  people especially if it involves money [TS]

  in a check for people who still send [TS]

  checks and I just have to say like [TS]

  please send checks [TS]

  hmm and what one [TS]

  what are you I in this economy [TS]

  ah but you know and i'll just say to [TS]

  people i'll just i'll beg them because [TS]

  like you know that can mean a lot of [TS]

  money to me and like it just probably [TS]

  won't get here and i know you think i'm [TS]

  crazy when I say that but I'll SiC could [TS]

  you send it by I mean literally anyway [TS]

  except the post office and please use a [TS]

  tracking number [TS]

  like I know that's a pain and I'm so [TS]

  sorry but you're still using checks you [TS]

  must be used to inconvenience in life [TS]

  like could you justjust you know just [TS]

  you know cut me a break [TS]

  yeah he'll probably humor me you know [TS]

  but on ya [TS]

  I don't know soldier pins god we have [TS]

  recorded in awhile know what have we not [TS]

  done a show sense a mi was in San [TS]

  Francisco [TS]

  nope can that be true i think it's like [TS]

  three weeks that like that that's just [TS]

  incredible you know you a little bit of [TS]

  a by 4 for the holidays but we tried we [TS]

  tried to record last week that was said [TS]

  yeah have you shared your haven't really [TS]

  shared your saga have you do you want to [TS]

  know I haven't shared the saga you know [TS]

  it's a little i can give a brief [TS]

  thumbnail you left me on a cliffhanger [TS]

  what we're after i left san francisco [TS]

  you mean well the cliffhanger that I [TS]

  heard over your skype line from you [TS]

  sitting in a red truck last week and was [TS]

  a was that it was still in yeah so [TS]

  you're about to find out so what you [TS]

  give people the whole idea that our [TS]

  listeners know what we're talking about [TS]

  here Justin yeah I do because multiple [TS]

  times in the last week i have walked [TS]

  into a cafe or along the road and [TS]

  someone has walked up to me and said [TS]

  how's the RV [TS]

  no kidding and I'm like oh well it's [TS]

  kind of a long story and they just have [TS]

  another talk about that marshmallow [TS]

  fluff ya there [TS]

  yes they're just they're just like you [TS]

  know they're just dropping in on the [TS]

  sidewalk just sort of pop in and say [TS]

  like hi I was there be and then they [TS]

  want to they want me to go like great [TS]

  and then and then they're gone and I [TS]

  grabbed him by the shoulder and start to [TS]

  weep and they're like oh I just what I [TS]

  just wanted to say hi but the long and [TS]

  the short of it i think where we where [TS]

  we left it was you had been here and [TS]

  visited and we have what many listeners [TS]

  have not told us were probably situation [TS]

  peppers mean that's one tasted like [TS]

  batteries [TS]

  thank you to literally everyone for for [TS]

  telling us about thank you everyone [TS]

  I heading back to that place today I [TS]

  think I want to try it again whenever [TS]

  you just you just directly addressed our [TS]

  audience [TS]

  no I don't know that was the second wall [TS]

  I was addressing the second wisely [TS]

  around one over here on the right track [TS]

  but we left it where you have been here [TS]

  and you're going to leave town to go out [TS]

  onto the piece that folks didn't know [TS]

  that I knew off air was that you had [TS]

  serendipitously found like an [TS]

  unbelievable deus ex machina solution [TS]

  for [TS]

  Garvey because you found a blacklister [TS]

  in the east bay [TS]

  that's right who was going to not only a [TS]

  lodge your RV while you're on the east [TS]

  coast but he was actually going to work [TS]

  on it and fix it up a little [TS]

  that's right mm that's right and so I [TS]

  took the RV to him and happily left it [TS]

  there in a in like a holding yard where [TS]

  there were literally 40 other GMC arbys [TS]

  and you know they're they're not the [TS]

  largest RV but when you put 40 of them [TS]

  together it's very impressive and so I [TS]

  would I believe this man and his team of [TS]

  of helper monkeys to be the you know [TS]

  they must be the the worldwide authority [TS]

  on these things or at least the Regional [TS]

  Authority and so I left it there and i [TS]

  went back east to do my rock shows with [TS]

  with the aim and liz phair and Ted Leo [TS]

  jonathan coulton and that was very fun [TS]

  and I had a good old Christmastime back [TS]

  east and then the plan was here was [TS]

  here's where the the wrinkle got wrinkly [TS]

  is what happens when your plan you got [TS]

  about a big plan and that was that i was [TS]

  going to fly to San Francisco my mom and [TS]

  daughter were going to fly to san [TS]

  francisco from Seattle and my daughter's [TS]

  baby mama who was in a conference in [TS]

  washington DC was also going to fly to [TS]

  seattle all of our flights arriving [TS]

  within an hour or two of one another [TS]

  we're going to meet in the san francisco [TS]

  airport take a car to the east bay get [TS]

  in the RV and drive home leaving friday [TS]

  night arriving on sunday in time for a [TS]

  good friends engagement party and then a [TS]

  show that I had booked for sunday night [TS]

  a show where I hosted a sing-along party [TS]

  at Seattle's brand new cloud room [TS]

  rich people place so we all get over [TS]

  there we get in the RV that put the RV [TS]

  repair dudes are having their christmas [TS]

  party so they're they're late but [TS]

  they're also all standing around a bunch [TS]

  of GMC rvs all drunk on punch and it was [TS]

  7pm and it was raining and I was like [TS]

  you know thanks for the you know thanks [TS]

  for the work great to see you guys have [TS]

  a great time you know the owner was [TS]

  telling me about his time in Vietnam and [TS]

  my people were out in the RV already [TS]

  going like babe come on let's go and I [TS]

  get in the RV and off we go [TS]

  and right away I know that there's [TS]

  something wrong with the RV it's just [TS]

  not running right it doesn't have the [TS]

  power that it used to have and one of [TS]

  the things i asked them to address was [TS]

  the path was the fuel system so for them [TS]

  to have monkeyed with the fuel-injection [TS]

  and now it's not producing very much [TS]

  power very concerning to me so I get on [TS]

  the phone with him hes that is Christmas [TS]

  party drunk talking about Vietnam [TS]

  chicken Billy beer and I was like hey [TS]

  you know I'm driving here and the rains [TS]

  coming down and there's something not [TS]

  right with the thing and he's like oh [TS]

  I'll just you know put premium gas in it [TS]

  and you know it's just got to stretch [TS]

  its legs [TS]

  oh so I was like all right let's stretch [TS]

  its legs and I got out there got out [TS]

  there to about nut tree and I calling [TS]

  back from nut tree and I'm like nope [TS]

  it's not that it's starting to backfire [TS]

  there's a problem here it's the mixtures [TS]

  to lean and he says oh well okay here's [TS]

  what you do you get under there and you [TS]

  turn the Ballon wrench one full turn to [TS]

  the right on the fuel injector and I was [TS]

  like what [TS]

  alright so I pull over into a walmart i [TS]

  send everybody inside i take the air [TS]

  cleaner off i turn thing all the way [TS]

  over one turn that won't start at all [TS]

  I calling back at the Christmas parties [TS]

  skidding drunker talking about Vietnam [TS]

  more [TS]

  I said this isn't working he said oh I'm [TS]

  not really familiar with those fuel [TS]

  injectors maybe you should turn it [TS]

  clockwise one turn [TS]

  I was like all right it's this is [TS]

  instilling a tremendous confidence in me [TS]

  in you [TS]

  so I turned its back wanted I mean are [TS]

  you getting the feeling you get the [TS]

  feeling that he's already he's kind of a [TS]

  little bit wild out like his work is [TS]

  done well the problem with the black [TS]

  list is your work is never done [TS]

  alright this is a pay-it-forward economy [TS]

  forward and so everybody on the [TS]

  blacklist knows everybody on the [TS]

  blacklist and things this guy cums not [TS]

  with an unimpeachable reputation but [TS]

  certainly with a legendary reputation [TS]

  and so you know uh from what I [TS]

  understand about this click this [TS]

  community there's no you know no one [TS]

  ever goes away the only people that ever [TS]

  go away are people that that abandoned [TS]

  RV entirely but if people that keep [TS]

  their RVs you see them over and over and [TS]

  over again and so no I think he wants to [TS]

  keep me as a longtime customer but he's [TS]

  also 75 years old and it's the night of [TS]

  his christmas party and should i maybe [TS]

  have described this before but in my [TS]

  experience there are two kinds of people [TS]

  who are incapable of admitting that they [TS]

  did anything wrong and one dick cheney [TS]

  well and dick cheney is sort of it is is [TS]

  a is is kind of one of these archetypes [TS]

  studio engineers and producers people [TS]

  who are making record albums can never [TS]

  say oh shit I fucked that up [TS]

  who if if something goes wrong if they [TS]

  if they push the wrong button if they if [TS]

  they if they got a bad tone and we [TS]

  didn't realize it until later [TS]

  there's always a reason that it's that [TS]

  it was not their fault that they didn't [TS]

  mean they don't even [TS]

  they won't even get into a he said she [TS]

  said you did you won't you know they'll [TS]

  just look right at you and say like [TS]

  that's what you wanted or that's how [TS]

  it's supposed to sound or you know like [TS]

  I just I've never met and I've never met [TS]

  a studio a production person that would [TS]

  say like oh you know what I fucked up [TS]

  and I'm sorry because the problem is [TS]

  that if they say that right even about [TS]

  your tip has some tambourine part like [TS]

  then the artist is gonna for the rest of [TS]

  their lives be like well that record got [TS]

  all fucked up by that guy you know like [TS]

  it's so it's so frost making record [TS]

  albums that that class of people just [TS]

  we'll just full-on stare you down rather [TS]

  than say that they have screwed up okay [TS]

  no Nate number-one engineers engineers [TS]

  and the second group is auto mechanics [TS]

  if you bring a car in and you haven't [TS]

  worked on and you drive 15 feet out of [TS]

  the mechanics shop and the motor blows [TS]

  up the mechanic is going to say well i [TS]

  don't think that the I think the reason [TS]

  that the motor blew up has nothing to do [TS]

  with the work that i did not it because [TS]

  I didn't ever touch [TS]

  I didn't touch that part right I didn't [TS]

  touch the it i was down in there [TS]

  changing all these other things but I [TS]

  never touched that one thing that ended [TS]

  up being the thing that failed and so [TS]

  you take your car to these me you know [TS]

  to it to an auto mechanic over and over [TS]

  and over and they're they're trying to [TS]

  figure out the turn track down problems [TS]

  are trying to trace things but then you [TS]

  drive away and the car runs worse and [TS]

  they're like well I think that problem [TS]

  was always there you know I the the work [TS]

  that i did is is fine right and and what [TS]

  what it did was just uncover this other [TS]

  problem it might be a little bit of like [TS]

  uh in a you know nowadays the way [TS]

  surgery works and this has not so much [TS]

  to do with the blame part but you know [TS]

  it used to be like I remember my grandpa [TS]

  got surgery open-heart surgery in the [TS]

  seventies [TS]

  I mean it's obviously too even today [TS]

  it's a huge deal to get surgery back [TS]

  then the heart surgery was you know what [TS]

  they did your heart was dangerous and [TS]

  scary but was what they had to do to get [TS]

  to the heart that cause a lot of [TS]

  problems [TS]

  there's you know there's always just cut [TS]

  through bones and stuff like get to the [TS]

  heart I guess I mean like it'sit's [TS]

  pretty was pretty serious stuff but the [TS]

  hard coming hard bone heart you got the [TS]

  heart bone you got the auxiliary heart [TS]

  bone and but but what I guess what I'm [TS]

  getting at is in this case with [TS]

  something that old in wherever the [TS]

  condition just moving all those parts [TS]

  around it's probably going to end up [TS]

  causing problems that you didn't have [TS]

  before as you fix the problem that [TS]

  you're there to nominally fix that must [TS]

  be like one reality of it is a massive [TS]

  reality but but what you you know as a [TS]

  customer what you want is the mechanic [TS]

  to do the work then get in the car drive [TS]

  around and and have gotten in the car [TS]

  before so you bring the car in the first [TS]

  thing the mechanic you want them to do [TS]

  is get in it and drive it around and and [TS]

  feel the problem for themselves and then [TS]

  bring it in [TS]

  trace it down fix it get in the car [TS]

  drive around again like you know shake [TS]

  it out a little bit and if it isn't a [TS]

  hundred percent right bring it back and [TS]

  monkey with it again well the problem [TS]

  with that is that shop time is a hundred [TS]

  and twenty dollars an hour for a lot of [TS]

  these places and you know they want to [TS]

  keep your bill down and so they don't do [TS]

  any of that and they you know they they [TS]

  fix it the thing they move it to the [TS]

  back of a lot and that's what happened [TS]

  in this case like they did some work on [TS]

  it and they button it up and if they [TS]

  took it for a test drive it was just [TS]

  like that they didn't know the rig well [TS]

  enough to know but they should they [TS]

  should anyway suffice to say i'm in the [TS]

  parking lot of this walmart i crank this [TS]

  thing this this little bolt now two [TS]

  revolutions to the left increasing the [TS]

  pressure in the fuel injector which is a [TS]

  thing which is a which is a process that [TS]

  should involve like micro adjustment [TS]

  right i mean this is like part of us of [TS]

  fuel injection system where the person [TS]

  that's doing this work with this allen [TS]

  bolt should be moving it [TS]

  very small increments testing it's [TS]

  moving it again take it i can imagine i [TS]

  don't like adjusting my kids retainer [TS]

  like that I feel like I think I'm gonna [TS]

  give her some kind of unnecessary [TS]

  widemouth condition if I get it even [TS]

  just slightly wrong in that case you're [TS]

  talking about some very minut mixtures [TS]

  right and so my family is all [TS]

  entertaining themselves in a Walmart in [TS]

  the middle of the night in nut tree [TS]

  California were like that tree [TS]

  yeah that's great and we always stop at [TS]

  metreon look at is that you right now [TS]

  they got a carousel you gotta stop stop [TS]

  in that tree [TS]

  you know when I was a kid there was a [TS]

  there was a small choo-choo train in not [TS]

  trace still in there [TS]

  no really yes my kid rides it every time [TS]

  oh my god I loved that so funny have a [TS]

  variety of they have this girl kinda [TS]

  famous family style restaurant there and [TS]

  it's a it's a lot of fun i have not been [TS]

  backed up in victory since the seventies [TS]

  add do you remember a restaurant that [TS]

  was kind of out in that area out in that [TS]

  region called Petticoat Junction I don't [TS]

  hide so would have gone there [TS]

  well Petticoat Junction was a restaurant [TS]

  somewhere in that region between chico [TS]

  and and central valley somewhere [TS]

  Sacramento sacramento area and it was [TS]

  Petticoat Junction all the waitresses [TS]

  were in their fifties and sixties and [TS]

  their waitress uniforms were that look [TS]

  like showed ruffled panties under there [TS]

  under their skirts so it was some like [TS]

  it was some truckers version of sexy pre [TS]

  hooter readers yeah sexiness the darker [TS]

  one Bobby jail was that her name Bobby [TS]

  Joe man I loved her in any case [TS]

  Petticoat Junction I've tried and tried [TS]

  and tried to find it [TS]

  I i used to stop there every time I was [TS]

  going up that highway but it wasn't like [TS]

  right off of i-5 it was on some it was [TS]

  on some spur road it was always full of [TS]

  truckers and you know the witches had [TS]

  been doing this a long time they they [TS]

  recognize that part of the show was that [TS]

  was the ruffles panty ruffles sure but [TS]

  petticoat junction is the place where i [TS]

  saw the kid with a with a [TS]

  giant-size coke i'm sure i've told you [TS]

  the story turns I spoke and he was just [TS]

  he was just ripping sugar packets open [TS]

  and pouring sugar packets into the cook [TS]

  and after he had and he was sitting at a [TS]

  table with a big family after he had a [TS]

  big pile of like sugar packet wrappers [TS]

  off to the side one of his distracted [TS]

  parents kind of looked over at him [TS]

  slapped him on the back of the head and [TS]

  said stop doing that I told you to stop [TS]

  doing that and so he grabbed his cock [TS]

  which now had a pound of extra sugar put [TS]

  the coke off the table kind of down in [TS]

  his lap while he went in my back to [TS]

  being ignored and then continue to pour [TS]

  sugar packets into it like under the [TS]

  table and you know he used all the sugar [TS]

  packet that's a stunning image that [TS]

  sticks with you through life and I was [TS]

  just like wow and that happened at [TS]

  Petticoat Junction so it was like I was [TS]

  already my senses were already pretty [TS]

  overloaded [TS]

  uh-huh sure anyway so so I do this [TS]

  adjustment to the to the air cleaner to [TS]

  the peanuts of the fuel system i get the [TS]

  whole family back in a bolt it all [TS]

  together also we're quick check-in know [TS]

  but at this point you're thinking you [TS]

  know you got what like a like a 10 12 [TS]

  hour drive ahead of you [TS]

  yeah yeah but i was thinking like this [TS]

  is this is all still this is saveable [TS]

  everything's going to be fine i'll make [TS]

  this adjustment you know you're still [TS]

  feeling like mostly optimistic [TS]

  no nope I'll a large part of me [TS]

  recognizes that whatever the problem is [TS]

  it is not a thing that you want so [TS]

  desperately in these situations to be [TS]

  able to take the air cleaner off moving [TS]

  Allen bolt one turn and all of a sudden [TS]

  the thing just comes alive but you know [TS]

  if you have any experience at all you [TS]

  know that that's not actually going to [TS]

  happen you have to do it you have to try [TS]

  it because what if what if you know like [TS]

  that he's talking to me over the phone [TS]

  and he's telling me to turn the wrong [TS]

  direction so it's not implausible that [TS]

  they just didn't adjust it right because [TS]

  they don't know what it is it it is [TS]

  infuriating but it's not implausible so [TS]

  but at the same time I'm moving this [TS]

  thing and I just know that there's no [TS]

  no way that this is going to be right [TS]

  now so I bolted back together it [TS]

  actually i have now increased the [TS]

  pressure in the fuel-injection system [TS]

  enough that it feels like okay here we [TS]

  go [TS]

  like its it isn't right but we're [TS]

  getting some more like the mixture isn't [TS]

  lean anymore exactly it couldn't [TS]

  possibly be like here we go and so we [TS]

  headed off down the road it's still [TS]

  backfiring but we're moving and so I'm [TS]

  like what could be causing the mixture [TS]

  to be lien was not backfiring out the [TS]

  back it's backfiring out of in the motor [TS]

  and so I'm like fuel filter what if the [TS]

  fuel filter is clogged [TS]

  what if the fuel pumps bad but i doubt [TS]

  it you know like that seems like that [TS]

  stuff had been gone through anyway this [TS]

  is this is a like a master class in [TS]

  trying to diagnose an automotive problem [TS]

  if you don't really know anything about [TS]

  it a little bit of magical thinking you [TS]

  know just like what if it's good blah [TS]

  blah blah blah blah so I pull into [TS]

  Williams California home of grimaldi's [TS]

  famous Garibaldi's famous Italian no [TS]

  race you're gonna make me look this up [TS]

  again [TS]

  Griselda's Griselda's grands Ella's [TS]

  grams Ella's mannerless in famous grand [TS]

  villas in in Williams California there [TS]

  it is not Garibaldi it's a five foot [TS]

  five point four square miles gaultieri [TS]

  that's it call Thierry's a italian new [TS]

  same words now friends Ellison grant [TS]

  grant and it's one of these places that [TS]

  has i mean when i say it's one of these [TS]

  places I mean that it is a singular [TS]

  place a a town which has literally [TS]

  nothing left at one point it probably [TS]

  was an almond farming town or a or pre [TS]

  almond it was a supreme element economy [TS]

  Amanda might have met the town was built [TS]

  in a pre element economy [TS]

  and then it had a bet on a flush during [TS]

  the big almond years the almond rush but [TS]

  somehow Garibaldi's was built there as [TS]

  this family style trucker restaurant [TS]

  that also happen to have a fully stocked [TS]

  italian-style grocery with 80 kinds of [TS]

  olives and pickled everything and a deli [TS]

  and all these weird Italian candies I [TS]

  mean basically one of those stores that [TS]

  you go into and you're like wow it's [TS]

  Christmas Day and then you walk around [TS]

  here like but I don't want any of this [TS]

  stuff i don'ti pickled asparagus in a [TS]

  jar [TS]

  um I'll have a roast beef sandwich to go [TS]

  please like this you know it's not i [TS]

  don't actually want any of that stuff [TS]

  but there it is in Williams California [TS]

  but they're also happens to be a napa [TS]

  auto parts store in Williams so I I [TS]

  parked the RV in front of the Napa and [TS]

  my entire family sleeps in the RV in [TS]

  front of the Napa and we have a grand [TS]

  old time right we're in this very very [TS]

  weird completely closed a central [TS]

  California town sleeping in the parking [TS]

  lot of an auto parts store but were [TS]

  alive right [TS]

  you're alive and together and it's [TS]

  America and this is the first night that [TS]

  we've ever really liked spent the night [TS]

  in the in the RV my mom I [TS]

  eighty-year-old mom is their [TS]

  four-year-old daughter is there it's all [TS]

  coming together we wake up in the [TS]

  morning go into the Napa place they [TS]

  actually have a garage attached to it [TS]

  and I start talking to a guy named nacho [TS]

  buenas Dias and nacho is great not just [TS]

  boss is like one of these taciturn like [TS]

  cowboy white guys that's worked in an [TS]

  auto parts store for 40 years and he's [TS]

  just like the only the only thing [TS]

  missing was that he was chewing on a [TS]

  chair route and he was just like well [TS]

  you know we can look at it but this is [TS]

  not just boss is not just boss we can [TS]

  look at it but you know shop rates [TS]

  hundred dollars an hour so i mean i'd [TS]

  probably brow look at it but barber I'm [TS]

  like alright thanks a lot mr. friendly [TS]

  like I'm trying to solve you you [TS]

  understand i'm trying to solve a problem [TS]

  I don't nobody goes into that place when [TS]

  things are going great yeah restaurants [TS]

  that's one of those things where like [TS]

  he's dealing with people not dealing [TS]

  with people who are there to say like I [TS]

  just want to check and let you know [TS]

  everything's going great [TS]

  like everybody who's in there just want [TS]

  to get some shit accomplished yeah and [TS]

  he may be a little desperate [TS]

  so here here it is I'm some I'm some big [TS]

  city slicker from Seattle driving a [TS]

  vintage RV look at me it was 40 year old [TS]

  RV with the 80 year old mother dirty [TS]

  doctor of it I come in there with points [TS]

  on my collars and a city slicker haircut [TS]

  and a little poodle dog on a leash and [TS]

  I'm like Audi i think i got a clogged [TS]

  fuel filter would you like a white wine [TS]

  spritzer you're a dude [TS]

  yeah i'm a dude that's right he says not [TS]

  less round is funny [TS]

  so he puts me in the back and here comes [TS]

  nacho and nacho nacho is great not just [TS]

  doing five things right there's like [TS]

  there's a like a thumb [TS]

  there's a dumb puppy face kids trying to [TS]

  get a tire off the rim who doesn't know [TS]

  how to use the Machine and nacho goes [TS]

  over and help them use the machine then [TS]

  at a certain point nachos like down on [TS]

  the ground underneath the underneath the [TS]

  RV a woman comes over and it's not it's [TS]

  not afraid to get his hands dirty [TS]

  no nachos dirty a woman comes over a [TS]

  very clean woman comes over stands there [TS]

  looking down at nacho she's like dressed [TS]

  well very together she stands there next [TS]

  to me with her arms crossed looking down [TS]

  at his feet under my RV [TS]

  and after about five minutes she says [TS]

  nacho he doesn't hear and she says not [TS]

  Joe he wheels himself out from under the [TS]

  RV and she speaks to him in Spanish for [TS]

  two minutes and he goes [TS]

  cez and then she turned on her heel and [TS]

  kind of stomps off gets in her car [TS]

  drives away so she was not chose lady [TS]

  who had come by to give him a [TS]

  dressing-down oh no and he's like for [TS]

  nashik looks at me and kind of drugs and [TS]

  gives a little sheepish eyes but they're [TS]

  not just stands up and he's like we'll [TS]

  listen you know it's not your fuel [TS]

  filter it's not your fuel pump those [TS]

  things are brand-new if the problem is [TS]

  it could be a lot of things and we're [TS]

  going to sit here and tear this thing [TS]

  apart a hundred dollars an hour like I [TS]

  don't know what to tell you don't think [TS]

  that's a very good plan i was like i'm [TS]

  not sure you are given me the straight [TS]

  scoop and I really appreciate it like [TS]

  give me like a handful of things that [TS]

  you think it could be and he kind of [TS]

  give this like I mean you got up your [TS]

  backfire you gotta lean mix and no power [TS]

  Jesus it's like start at the top it [TS]

  could be your radio antenna like that's [TS]

  the problem [TS]

  so that's what oh yeah this is [TS]

  interesting to me this is one of those [TS]

  where situations where as a consumer or [TS]

  user we go into the situation and saying [TS]

  it had the problem is that this thing is [TS]

  not running right there must be a [TS]

  solution for that and like somebody who [TS]

  actually understands the problem domain [TS]

  is going to go well no this is the [TS]

  result of something or some things and [TS]

  it's almost like somebody going to the [TS]

  doctor and saying like you know I you [TS]

  know I have had nausea and headache so [TS]

  therefore I must have this like 10 a lot [TS]

  of different things can cause nausea and [TS]

  headache and not sure knows that [TS]

  yeah and he's looking over his shoulder [TS]

  communicating something very key which [TS]

  is getting out of here [TS]

  yeah yeah yeah yeah that's and he's [TS]

  saying he say you know you can tell that [TS]

  nacho is the only guy in the entire [TS]

  place that knows anything about what's [TS]

  going on except for his charity to and [TS]

  boss who also knows what's going [TS]

  come on but he has graduated to either i [TS]

  own the place or I work for the guy that [TS]

  owns the place and what I'm trying to do [TS]

  is get out of here at the end of the day [TS]

  yeah and so when things come up he's [TS]

  like he gets on the intercom and he's [TS]

  like nacho come to the office and not [TS]

  just like shit okay hang on I gotta go [TS]

  do this and that happens three times [TS]

  while not shows out there talking to me [TS]

  so he so he not sure looks at me and [TS]

  he's like yeah if it were up to me I [TS]

  would sit here with you and go over this [TS]

  and diagnose this and try and figure it [TS]

  out like it's not that hard but I mean [TS]

  it is that hard but it's like this is [TS]

  what you do [TS]

  well I think I get his telegraphing a [TS]

  couple things he's what he's trying to [TS]

  say without putting into words is this [TS]

  there certainly is a way to fix this but [TS]

  there's a for a variety of reasons any [TS]

  kind of happened here and now [TS]

  well or what he's saying is if you want [TS]

  to potentially spend eight hundred [TS]

  dollars here today and be here all day [TS]

  we we might be able to fix some of it [TS]

  right but no guarantee that we will find [TS]

  anything and I can't do it for free or [TS]

  cheap because i got this guy hanging [TS]

  over my head this isn't my shop one day [TS]

  man i'm going to save up the money to [TS]

  open my own shop right now that he's got [TS]

  to please the walking boss that's right [TS]

  so he's standing there and we're [TS]

  standing there and we're doing the old [TS]

  were doing the thing we're kicking the [TS]

  tires right we're standing there were [TS]

  kicking the tires together and I'm going [TS]

  I you know like I'm not afraid to turn a [TS]

  wrench on this thing you just gotta give [TS]

  me some kinda give me a high sign of [TS]

  some kind and he's like I just anything [TS]

  I would tell you would be just as likely [TS]

  to be false as true and you're going to [TS]

  be what under there like adjusting the [TS]

  timing i mean you could do that he's [TS]

  like you could advance the timing a [TS]

  little bit but again that's a like a [TS]

  micro adjustment and you're going to be [TS]

  under this thing like turning the [TS]

  distributor some little bit some five [TS]

  degrees you turn this [TS]

  computer see if that helps and I'm like [TS]

  well fuck 4-4 just under you tell me if [TS]

  I'm just dramatizing this but there's [TS]

  some other some data points here we have [TS]

  to remember now it's a 40 year old RV [TS]

  you've got your entire immediate family [TS]

  in it [TS]

  gifting ages and needs at this moment [TS]

  the family is over Garibaldi's and [TS]

  they're havin they're havin some kind of [TS]

  breakfast breakfast and it's and it's [TS]

  about i want to say this would be about [TS]

  five days before Christmas Eve [TS]

  that's right oh there's that there's [TS]

  that too by the way there's Christmas [TS]

  coming and it is at least here it was [TS]

  cold and rainy cold and rainy [TS]

  I mean we got it wasn't the thing is [TS]

  everyone in California no no the central [TS]

  California and it's it's theirs long [TS]

  spots where nothing much happens except [TS]

  cold and rain and lonely [TS]

  that's what this was so you must have [TS]

  must have at least partly gun into your [TS]

  thinking it was absolutely cold it was [TS]

  absolutely lonely and it was yeah not [TS]

  fun at all and you know and also it [TS]

  seems like nachos in touch with the wife [TS]

  and there's all you know cars are piling [TS]

  up and he's the only one that knows [TS]

  where the light switches right so I say [TS]

  you know what [TS]

  all right I'm just gonna drive it and [TS]

  I'm gonna rap maroc on through what do [TS]

  you think about that nacho and he's like [TS]

  it's as good a plan as any [TS]

  so I five him i go into the office where [TS]

  the guy with the squid-like the Clint [TS]

  Eastwood got the squinty eyes and the [TS]

  cop moustache is like tell you what i'll [TS]

  only charge you 50 bucks [TS]

  what because that's weird you know [TS]

  yeah it's not it's not that weird [TS]

  because I'm not actually a city [TS]

  certified dude I just a you know he's he [TS]

  saw me coming in he was like city dude [TS]

  huh [TS]

  but then you know you get in there you [TS]

  talk about Vietnam a little bit sure [TS]

  everybody's like alright alright alright [TS]

  alright you've got a legitimate problem [TS]

  and it's actually a problem and and he [TS]

  didn't just come in here because the [TS]

  radio would [TS]

  and your you actually are up a creek and [TS]

  like all right here [TS]

  fifty bucks just get out of here wow [TS]

  that's super cool [TS]

  Williams california right through the [TS]

  almond economy is down and these guys [TS]

  are just sitting around you know and for [TS]

  the most part every other vehicle that [TS]

  was in that shop was like a farm truck [TS]

  that somebody kept running with bailing [TS]

  wire and band-aids [TS]

  uh-huh and so you know this is a working [TS]

  this is a working shop nobody's nobody's [TS]

  coming in to repair a dent in their in [TS]

  their mini cooper there's a bunch of [TS]

  Dodge pickup trucks that like the kid [TS]

  the kid that was trying to change the [TS]

  tire to get the tire off the rim you [TS]

  know it's a job that you have to [TS]

  sometimes if you don't have the right [TS]

  equipment you know you use a mallet you [TS]

  gotta you know we'll get a refund the [TS]

  thing this kid's got a ball-peen hammer [TS]

  and he's way he's weighing on it in a [TS]

  way that even I was like he's gonna [TS]

  kneecap himself and not just rolling his [TS]

  eyes at him and I'm like who is this kid [TS]

  he's probably one of the Grimaldi's [TS]

  transplants and and the and then they [TS]

  don't want him working over in the [TS]

  restaurant you know anyway so I'm pile [TS]

  everybody back in the RV and I say [TS]

  listen things aren't going so great with [TS]

  the RV but but what we have is a the [TS]

  power of love ya and be all we have to [TS]

  do is get over the siskiyou use one of [TS]

  the like for worst interstate passes in [TS]

  America and you know past Shasta and all [TS]

  the way to Medford and there's an el [TS]

  nino storm on the way so we have to do [TS]

  is do that which seems pretty simple you [TS]

  know it's more or less flat as far as [TS]

  reading and then from reading to medford [TS]

  how bad can it be [TS]

  only 50 semi-trucks overturn and fall [TS]

  down a ravine on that stretch of highway [TS]

  every year like an Allen wrench how bad [TS]

  i got an element [TS]

  how bad could it be yeah so off we offer [TS]

  motor and you know we're singing songs a [TS]

  lot with its [TS]

  bye bye thanks nacho right i went into [TS]

  grimaldi's walked around could find a [TS]

  single fucking thing i wanted to buy and [TS]

  i was like i'm actually I need a little [TS]

  bit of comfort I i will almost buy a jar [TS]

  of pickled asparagus but no it burned to [TS]

  the ground was recently rebuilt [TS]

  that's right that's right and the new [TS]

  one looks very much like the old one [TS]

  because I've been to the old one and [TS]

  I've been to the new 1i know a few [TS]

  things [TS]

  food food so off we go and then at a [TS]

  certain point and here's the here's the [TS]

  awful [TS]

  there's the awful part of the story and [TS]

  for context we need to go back a little [TS]

  bit how far back way back way back to [TS]

  the nineteen nineties when they're gonna [TS]

  take a dog i'm gonna pack up at the [TS]

  Capitol hey give me some of that coffee [TS]

  huh [TS]

  I'm or break that rusty k to continue to [TS]

  get out i don't actually get ring and [TS]

  for her so it's no back in the nineties [TS]

  my dad is to live in Alaska he calls me [TS]

  up and he says I want to move to tacoma [TS]

  begins with the phone yeah okay head [TS]

  live up here anymore it's too goddamn [TS]

  cold and I said are you gonna do that [TS]

  Dad and he says I bought a truck and [TS]

  immediately I was like he bought a truck [TS]

  oh fuck no have I told you this story [TS]

  you have it but now is this is after the [TS]

  period when your dad used to fly his [TS]

  plane to the same place in California to [TS]

  visit with mechanic [TS]

  yeah energy toward a talker your dad [TS]

  would like to talk to the to the service [TS]

  people that's right he wants to talk to [TS]

  everybody and a certain point I think he [TS]

  is as critical faculties maybe no no his [TS]

  critical faculties were still sharp but [TS]

  his cardiologist took away his pilot's [TS]

  license and listen if your cardiologist [TS]

  takes away your pilot's license never [TS]

  allowed to do that that's pretty fucked [TS]

  up [TS]

  yeah well that's what happens if your [TS]

  cardiologist goes your heart makes you [TS]

  a time bomb in a airplane somehow after [TS]

  this [TS]

  my dad got his cardiologist to reinstate [TS]

  his pilot's license but at this period [TS]

  he did not have his pilot's license [TS]

  because he had had some myocardial [TS]

  infarction [TS]

  yeah of some kind that didn't quite [TS]

  manifest itself so that the rest of us [TS]

  knew about it but his cardiologist [TS]

  independent so he took away his pilot's [TS]

  license so my dad bought a truck he says [TS]

  and he says he wants me to come to [TS]

  Alaska put all of his stuff in this [TS]

  truck and drive it down for him to [TS]

  Tacoma and I'm like oh is that like when [TS]

  you're before the band stuff that you [TS]

  look at the newsstand at this point yeah [TS]

  1998 I mean I had a band abundantly [TS]

  players but I was you know and I had a I [TS]

  had ice [TS]

  believe me i had a spirit of adventure [TS]

  that and maybe even more of one then but [TS]

  I also knew I mean that it was like the [TS]

  number of alarm bells that we're going [TS]

  off i made my inside of my head sound [TS]

  like a pachinko game I was just like oh [TS]

  no ding ding ding teaming just drinking [TS]

  my dad bought a truck that can't be good [TS]

  now this whole cascade of of what [TS]

  probably has already gone wrong and what [TS]

  can't really go right right so not gonna [TS]

  be it's not gonna be a fun relaxing trip [TS]

  no this is this is this isn't this isn't [TS]

  gonna be good anyway I'm dating a girl [TS]

  the time who is from la jolla california [TS]

  and she is a very athletic girl she used [TS]

  to she was a she was a ballet instructor [TS]

  should wake up at five o'clock in the [TS]

  morning and she would run to Lake [TS]

  Washington jump in swim out to the I [TS]

  don't know what two out to the Orca buoy [TS]

  swim back run back up the hill as a [TS]

  prelude to teaching ballet all day she [TS]

  just haven't had one of those [TS]

  metabolisms that was like I don't know [TS]

  she could be 8,000 calories of food [TS]

  today and all she wanted to do was dance [TS]

  and you know just uh [TS]

  if she if if you didn't take her out [TS]

  everyday an exerciser it's like a [TS]

  racehorse you know right i just got like [TS]

  a slinky Alec border collie yeah she [TS]

  would go bananas again we're out a [TS]

  little bit she was that she was a [TS]

  wonderful wonderful lady instead remains [TS]

  a wonderful lady but like she she would [TS]

  actually literally climb the walls and [TS]

  she had some kind of spider-man [TS]

  capability where she could climb the [TS]

  walls [TS]

  wow you would find her like up in a [TS]

  corner of the ceiling nice like come [TS]

  down so she was very she had a lot of [TS]

  energy and she was very excitable I [TS]

  think a good friend of mine the other [TS]

  day who has a similar metabolism said to [TS]

  me that she had shared a euphoria [TS]

  problem so interesting and I was like a [TS]

  runner's high kind of thing [TS]

  well just like a her capacity for [TS]

  euphoria is very she has a very high [TS]

  euphoria generator [TS]

  yeah and maybe a low threshold of [TS]

  euphoria being a problem so you for just [TS]

  like what and then no no she was joyful [TS]

  uh that's something other than joy [TS]

  euphoria in a in a sort of light [TS]

  enthusiastic like something that you [TS]

  might say about someone who is having a [TS]

  religious experience and maybe should be [TS]

  confined to a monastery [TS]

  ok in any case so I fly to Alaska with [TS]

  my girlfriend she's never been to Alaska [TS]

  and was excited to go and we get there [TS]

  we get to the airport my dad picks us up [TS]

  at the airport and we go out and we're [TS]

  walking through the parking garage and [TS]

  uh oh there's a knock on my office door [TS]

  and I think it's mike the the building [TS]

  manager terrific we hold on just yet [TS]

  while means right [TS]

  this has never happened before where [TS]

  there was a knock on the door [TS]

  let's see if it is well what time do is [TS]

  the other guy with the ls like the [TS]

  building manager [TS]

  who's the guest star on the program the [TS]

  first one ever hello everybody [TS]

  yeah he's a hear that you're the first [TS]

  ever guest star on Robert on the one [TS]

  that started opening packages yet no we [TS]

  haven't opened the packages Mike was the [TS]

  one that was good enough to bring the [TS]

  packages in all thanks Mike please don't [TS]

  like i said hi so there's a lot to do [TS]

  well thank you for the key fob were [TS]

  thank you thank you sir but wow he seems [TS]

  nice [TS]

  I you know frankly i'm glad that it was [TS]

  Mike that was the first ever guest on [TS]

  the program because he's a good guy is a [TS]

  good day we had a cameo from the alarm [TS]

  tester one time [TS]

  oh alright okay so Michael is learning [TS]

  services [TS]

  let's not let's not tell Mike that he [TS]

  wasn't the first now nice a good guy [TS]

  yeah good good man i said he does stuff [TS]

  with your packages that's super cool [TS]

  well I mean yeah although they did sit [TS]

  in the hallway for a week before i [TS]

  called it was like hey mike i'm going to [TS]

  take the prison anyway so we get off the [TS]

  weekend off the plane at this point in [TS]

  your RV story in the nineties you and [TS]

  your girlfriend are landing in Alaska [TS]

  that's right so we walked through the [TS]

  airport parking lot and I'm thinking to [TS]

  myself my dad bought a truck please [TS]

  please please please let it be a halfway [TS]

  decent track and walking through and you [TS]

  know it's it's the parking lot of [TS]

  anchorage international airport now [TS]

  renamed the Ted Stevens Memorial Airport [TS]

  and so every vehicle in the parking [TS]

  garage is a truck and we're walking [TS]

  along and I'm like that's a cool truck [TS]

  please let it be that truck and we [TS]

  walked past the truck and I'm like oh [TS]

  look at that truck is that please let [TS]

  that be the truck that's not the truck [TS]

  ohmygod ohmygod that truck that truck is [TS]

  cool [TS]

  that's not the truck that truck yeah [TS]

  okay that truck is fine [TS]

  that's not the truck and then we get and [TS]

  I this it's like it's like you did this [TS]

  on purpose we get past every great truck [TS]

  and then at the far end of the parking [TS]

  garage there's this truck that looks [TS]

  like it's been there for 40 years [TS]

  you know like looks like it lives in the [TS]

  parking garage because no one ever [TS]

  claimed it and because its Anchorage [TS]

  they never told it [TS]

  tall and I'm like oh no no no not that [TS]

  truck no no no please please please not [TS]

  that truck and dance like there she is [TS]

  and it's a it's like a 19-7 d7 Chevy [TS]

  High Sierra half-ton rust bucket that [TS]

  was formerly like when it was brand-new [TS]

  it was like a high a high trim model [TS]

  also is it kind of like one of the [TS]

  earlier like you know suburban guy [TS]

  no it's just a pickup truck but it's got [TS]

  a but it's got a canopy on the back and [TS]

  in 1977 or whatever it had been a high [TS]

  trim model but it's been through so many [TS]

  lives since then and we opened the door [TS]

  and it's just it's completely rusted out [TS]

  it's a garbage truck it has no value and [TS]

  I opened the door and the headliners [TS]

  sagging and it's clear again that it has [TS]

  been owned by people who both smoke and [TS]

  have dogs and big Alaskan dogs which [TS]

  they do not as most Alaskans to travel [TS]

  with back in the back under the canopy [TS]

  they travel not want to be warm and [TS]

  smoke that's right they put the dogs up [TS]

  front and so it's again i have to [TS]

  restate that it is Alaska and so these [TS]

  are wet dogs covered with salt who get [TS]

  in the inside of the vehicle and [TS]

  perspire and mold and it's just like [TS]

  it's almost you almost can't stand to be [TS]

  in the cab and my girlfriend is just [TS]

  like Alaska way and I'm like oh there [TS]

  are so many Alaska's baby and this is [TS]

  not the one [TS]

  this is not the one that i wanted to [TS]

  show you this is the other one the one [TS]

  I've been trying to escape the 1i [TS]

  thought I had achieved escape velocity [TS]

  from [TS]

  and now here I am back in this truck and [TS]

  dad is like I was down at the cafe in [TS]

  Girdwood and some girl that was wearing [TS]

  a Indian blanket said that she had a [TS]

  truck for sale and i said i'll buy it [TS]

  I need a truck so we get back to my [TS]

  dad's place where Indian blanket me [TS]

  literally like way she was wearing any [TS]

  blank and her boyfriend had a sheepskin [TS]

  on who I so he pays you know he plays [TS]

  $1,500 for this thing and it isn't worth [TS]

  forty dollars we get back to his house [TS]

  and he says you know loaded up driving [TS]

  to tacoma I'm gonna fly down to come [TS]

  i'll see you when you get there and so [TS]

  we have a wonderful time she and I [TS]

  loading up his truck and we get on the [TS]

  road and we drive and drive and drive [TS]

  drive and drive and driver were all the [TS]

  way up in a [TS]

  way up in a [TS]

  delta junction and your kindness I think [TS]

  we're sleeping in the cab [TS]

  oh I had had torn out all the headliner [TS]

  and all the soft material to try to get [TS]

  the dog out of it huh [TS]

  anyway we're making it work we cross [TS]

  over into the Yukon and I've been doing [TS]

  all the driving and finally just wiped [TS]

  out and I hand over the driving to her [TS]

  and I'm like no I see just take over and [TS]

  drive for a little while we're up here [TS]

  in the Yukon it's just open highway [TS]

  there's no there's not even any trees up [TS]

  here just you know just a just pointed [TS]

  down the road and I fall asleep and wake [TS]

  up to the sound of the motor seizing and [TS]

  I go one what is happening you know [TS]

  steam and smoke pouring out of it and [TS]

  she's like oh i don't know like all [TS]

  these lights started coming on and I [TS]

  didn't know what they were i just [TS]

  figured it was like we telling me that [TS]

  that things were going great and you [TS]

  know everything that everything you know [TS]

  the oil pressures gone temperatures all [TS]

  pegged I'm just like oh no theres I it [TS]

  wouldn't have occurred to me to say if [TS]

  anything changes right [TS]

  wake me up and pull over to the side of [TS]

  the road and so we here we were with [TS]

  this truck full of my dad stuff and it [TS]

  was just then the motor was just a lump [TS]

  and that was a terrible adventure [TS]

  because we were out in the middle of [TS]

  literally nowhere and had to hitchhike [TS]

  bag and find a guy that had a truck that [TS]

  would tell us back to the town that was [TS]

  made out of shipping containers and they [TS]

  had a phone i guess where they could [TS]

  call to the town that had electricity [TS]

  and running water and that somebody came [TS]

  out from that town and I said to that [TS]

  guy look I don't wanna I don't want to [TS]

  fix this thing i want to send it to the [TS]

  bottom / of a lake and I know you guys [TS]

  have a lake up here that you put old [TS]

  cars [TS]

  what I want to do is buy a truck from [TS]

  you find a truck in this town that [TS]

  somebody will sell me and he was like oh [TS]

  I I've got a truck [TS]

  it's a Ford f-250 and it's got a Chevy [TS]

  motor and I was like sold and bought [TS]

  that truck loaded on my dad's stuff in [TS]

  it drove it down and then had that truck [TS]

  for four years and loved it [TS]

  now fast-forward to redding california a [TS]

  week ago and I say how the rest of the [TS]

  move go [TS]

  oh we got my dad stuff down there [TS]

  unfortunately the stress of that i did [TS]

  not handle that situation as well as i [TS]

  wished i had and if the stress of it [TS]

  caused my lady friend and me to break up [TS]

  man [TS]

  also I'd lost my glasses so i was [TS]

  driving most of the way just sort of [TS]

  orienting myself on large shapes which [TS]

  is normally fine except when the sun [TS]

  goes down then you have the the the [TS]

  depth perception problem because the [TS]

  rods in the cone Sheridan County man and [TS]

  that the Purkinje shift purkinje shift [TS]

  right so so if that was fine because it [TS]

  was Alaska in the summertime and the Sun [TS]

  was up all the time but as we got as we [TS]

  move further south the Sun started to go [TS]

  down periodically and that made it even [TS]

  more difficult to stew to drive by [TS]

  Braille as I was kind of doing [TS]

  I almost hit a Mountie because in Canada [TS]

  when they want to pull you over on the [TS]

  highway a Mountie just steps out into [TS]

  the road and waves at you and I look [TS]

  like old Barry just stick a leg out [TS]

  yeah kind of like they get you on the [TS]

  radar and then up the road there's just [TS]

  a guy who's standing on the side of the [TS]

  road he walks out and flags you down and [TS]

  you pull over [TS]

  wow you know he very politely flags down [TS]

  you pull over very politely he politely [TS]

  gives you a ticket and you politely go [TS]

  on your way [TS]

  canada canada canada yep and I didn't [TS]

  see him and I almost ran him over and [TS]

  then I locked up the brakes and he came [TS]

  running up to the side he was like you [TS]

  almost killed me a and I was like sorry [TS]

  man I didn't see was like didn't see me [TS]

  i was standing in the middle of the road [TS]

  and I was like yeah I didn't want to say [TS]

  like I don't have my glasses on right [TS]

  and anyway that's neither here nor there [TS]

  so in redding california i say are no [TS]

  outside reading south of south of [TS]

  redding several several dozens of miles [TS]

  i say look I need to just take a little [TS]

  nap I've been driving a lot sort of [TS]

  stressed out [TS]

  the thing is running or back nearly net [TS]

  2015 back in 2015 and I hand the [TS]

  controls over to my daughter's mother [TS]

  and say like head on up the highway just [TS]

  pointed down the road and and wake me [TS]

  when you get to the mountains so outside [TS]

  of reading it starts to get mountainous [TS]

  right away and when that happens [TS]

  pull over and wake me up and and i'll [TS]

  drive us through the through the crazy [TS]

  area because the this is an RV and it's [TS]

  you know it can go highway speeds but [TS]

  you eat when you're gonna break you have [TS]

  to be anticipating when you want to stop [TS]

  you know you have to look way ahead and [TS]

  break [TS]

  well in advance so I go back and I go to [TS]

  sleep and when I wake up I i come [TS]

  forward in the RV and I say how's it [TS]

  going and she says great i mean we've [TS]

  been smoking for a little while or and I [TS]

  said what smoking what she said yeah [TS]

  we're just kind of trailing some smoke [TS]

  and I looked in the rearview mirror and [TS]

  we are one of those vintage RVs that is [TS]

  laying down some battle ship level [TS]

  smokescreen and I'm like whoa what whoa [TS]

  pull over pull over pull over and almost [TS]

  immediately [TS]

  the amount of smoke that we are trailing [TS]

  quadruples so that we are just boring [TS]

  smoke out the back and I'm like boerboel [TS]

  overblown and we pull off the side of [TS]

  the road but we are in the mountains [TS]

  we're past redding we are we're fully in [TS]

  the mountains and I'm like how did we [TS]

  get here and she's like well I didn't [TS]

  want to wake you up and I figured what [TS]

  the hell [TS]

  and so where we pull over is down in a [TS]

  hole right at the intersection of old [TS]

  salt lick road and salt lake lake road [TS]

  and there's just smoke pouring out of [TS]

  the RV so that I I you know I spent like [TS]

  everybody out out get out because I'm [TS]

  afraid that it's that it is on fire and [TS]

  i have subjected my lovely family to [TS]

  this adventure thus far but I also now [TS]

  at this point feel like we've crossed [TS]

  some threshold i do not want them [TS]

  immolated in the RV in a sudden flash [TS]

  fire [TS]

  uh-huh so I pull the top off the motor [TS]

  I've got my fire extinguisher their [TS]

  smoke is pouring out but it's not coming [TS]

  from the top of the motor it's coming [TS]

  from underneath and I'm like you know I [TS]

  don't want to i want to send the I don't [TS]

  want to put the fire extinguisher on [TS]

  this thing and like that that's now [TS]

  that's not going to be good because [TS]

  there's no fire so I sit there with the [TS]

  RV filled with smoke just sort of like [TS]

  you know there's something far too [TS]

  broken in me to ever really weep [TS]

  unless unless it's my cat getting hit by [TS]

  car market in that case you know [TS]

  yes i can get it penetrates all the [TS]

  other monster [TS]

  yeah but I am NOT I am NOT a person who [TS]

  in exhaustion and other failure sits and [TS]

  weeps but i am hanging my head because [TS]

  this is a bad situation and we are in a [TS]

  bad place for this to happen [TS]

  and so I say the RV i do not know what [TS]

  is wrong with the RV i do not think that [TS]

  we have blown the head i do not there is [TS]

  no steam i do not feel like we have I do [TS]

  not feel like we have seized the motor [TS]

  there the place that the smoke is coming [TS]

  from makes me think that it is that the [TS]

  transmission has sprayed fluid all over [TS]

  the bottom of the motor and that that [TS]

  that is the cause of the smoke it does [TS]

  not seem like it's the motor but I don't [TS]

  know and I do not want to start it and I [TS]

  do not want to try and drive it so i [TS]

  have quite as where this is where this [TS]

  is where it comes in handy right this is [TS]

  where comes a super-duper platinum [TS]

  top-shelf bar brand triple-a service i [TS]

  have the top triple-a that you've got [TS]

  the secret like triple a black like you [TS]

  have to apply [TS]

  that's right you can you can use this to [TS]

  tell anything i have triple-a that will [TS]

  get that truck out of that lake in the [TS]

  northern Yukon Territories and get it [TS]

  running again like the triple-a i have [TS]

  the triple-a that that will rescue a [TS]

  plane like I have the triple-a that you [TS]

  can use in europe like I have it I have [TS]

  the i have this i have the diamond level [TS]

  triple-a and so I'm like okay we don't [TS]

  have any cell service down in this hole [TS]

  in this mountain so I'm gonna climb up [TS]

  the road and try and get triple-a on the [TS]

  phone and my mom you know as previously [TS]

  characterized is very good in these [TS]

  situations and she's pretty good like [TS]

  navigating her way through a phone tree [TS]

  where I often get frustrated [TS]

  she's just like you know push to talk to [TS]

  her you know push to if you want to use [TS]

  triple a's new 15-percent just found at [TS]

  walmart Simeon on things like that it's [TS]

  almost like that that's her that's a [TS]

  cross word for her like she's ready to [TS]

  just say okay let's do this thing [TS]

  let's figure it out yeah and so all of [TS]

  us grown-up adults are our cycling one [TS]

  of us will walk up to the top of the [TS]

  road call triple-a [TS]

  the other you know I'm monitoring the [TS]

  motor sometimes where paul also playing [TS]

  with the baby and triple-a is still [TS]

  running at this point the I mean it has [TS]

  to be done right [TS]

  no no it's cooked and could you share [TS]

  with our listeners the consequences of [TS]

  the engine on the RV not running anymore [TS]

  oh well when the engine on the RV [TS]

  doesn't run neither do any of the system [TS]

  and no electric no heat no electric no [TS]

  heat [TS]

  I mean there's there's enough so it's [TS]

  stored in the in the in the shore [TS]

  battery that we have we have lights we [TS]

  have fluorescent light bulb the furnace [TS]

  isn't going to run and and we're in the [TS]

  mountains and it's winter and there's a [TS]

  storm coming and so it's it gets very [TS]

  cold so everybody is wrapped in wool [TS]

  blankets and and we get our we get it to [TS]

  play on the phone now I'm a I'm a [TS]

  proponent of triple-a I think everybody [TS]

  should have it but i will say that fully [TS]

  fifty percent of the time you call [TS]

  triple-a you get the worst service in [TS]

  the world and it's because triple-a has [TS]

  no competitors there's not another [TS]

  service where you call it may come [TS]

  rescue you [TS]

  also i think at least when I was younger [TS]

  I i didn't understand what triple-a [TS]

  actually was and it's in some ways [TS]

  triple-a has always been mostly in the [TS]

  insurance business and if you think [TS]

  about it like i remember when i first [TS]

  had to replace service you get a [TS]

  discount get your insurance to triple-a [TS]

  in that sense triple-a is more like an [TS]

  HMO for your car right some ways right [TS]

  in essence isn't perfect analogy but [TS]

  what I didn't realize until i started [TS]

  using it when I gotta go gotta car again [TS]

  and needed it and was that they [TS]

  basically there that's a car that you [TS]

  carry with a number for a call center [TS]

  and then they call it the people right [TS]

  and they pay you know they pay other [TS]

  people to be there triple-a guys and [TS]

  what they're counting on is that ninety [TS]

  percent of the people that use triple-a [TS]

  don't use it they just have it if they [TS]

  need it which they don't [TS]

  and when they do it usually is like come [TS]

  change my tire [TS]

  um it's not a big deal and it's the rare [TS]

  situation where where somebody [TS]

  legitimately is out in the boonies and i [TS]

  am often that guy right a triple-a saved [TS]

  my [TS]

  save my skin when my other GMC my other [TS]

  ill-advised purchase of a GMC vehicle a [TS]

  year ago broke down outside of st. Louis [TS]

  they told me a hundred miles with with [TS]

  everybody in the you know everybody in [TS]

  the cab allow tow truck that's nice and [TS]

  you pay that much more plus and that [TS]

  it's worth it man it's worth I made it [TS]

  he told me a hundred miles and park and [TS]

  and unloaded my vehicle in the parking [TS]

  lot of the sharon and which which you [TS]

  know I'd gotten a room there through the [TS]

  through the priceline as I'm driving in [TS]

  there i was like take us there and it [TS]

  was nice hotel and you know that [TS]

  Sharon's not gonna kick you out if [TS]

  you're staying there [TS]

  so anyway but in this case triple-a you [TS]

  go through all the things you're like [TS]

  hot you know the phone tree and the [TS]

  enter your number and then they get you [TS]

  on the phone and they want to have all [TS]

  this irrelevant information about your [TS]

  birthday and and you know what your [TS]

  favorite color is and and you're like [TS]

  look we're standing on the side of the [TS]

  road can't we work all this out after [TS]

  you get a tow truck on the way here and [TS]

  they're like well we know we have to [TS]

  know you know we have to know like the [TS]

  average rainfall in the Amazon basin and [TS]

  so finally they're like okay tow truck [TS]

  will be there in 45 minutes and an hour [TS]

  and a half went by and we climb back up [TS]

  the mountain call them again and they're [TS]

  like oh sorry we didn't have one piece [TS]

  of information that we needed and so we [TS]

  just didn't send a tow truck [TS]

  we tried to call you but you didn't [TS]

  answer it's like well yeah we don't have [TS]

  cell phone service down in the RV where [TS]

  the baby is [TS]

  and so we aren't standing up here hoping [TS]

  you're gonna call like when yes is not [TS]

  like you're stuck at the mall [TS]

  yeah right i mean if you say 45 minutes [TS]

  you know like 45 minutes and they're [TS]

  like yeah we couldn't do it until we [TS]

  also got this last piece of information [TS]

  but we need you to confirm all the [TS]

  information you added before and then [TS]

  the last piece of information we needed [TS]

  was what are the last four numbers of [TS]

  your driver's license number it's just [TS]

  like you fucking assholes so they they [TS]

  take it and like all right we're going [TS]

  to [TS]

  no it'll be there in 45 minutes and we [TS]

  go back down to the RV we hold under the [TS]

  blankets for an hour and a half and then [TS]

  climb back up the mountain where is the [TS]

  RV well we need to know we tried to call [TS]

  you [TS]

  we need to know the destination that [TS]

  you're taking the RV i'll come on and we [TS]

  couldn't send a truck until we knew the [TS]

  destination and I'm like I don't [TS]

  literally makes no sense it doesn't make [TS]

  any sense but here's what's happening [TS]

  triple-a is calling tow truck company's [TS]

  in the in the larger Reading area and [TS]

  they are all saying ah yeah no no thanks [TS]

  we don't want to take this contract and [TS]

  it's because the amount of money that [TS]

  they're going to get for this job from [TS]

  triple-a does not compensate them for [TS]

  the work they don't feel on this [TS]

  particular day and I'm like really [TS]

  this is optional for them whether or not [TS]

  to take the job at that point at this [TS]

  point it's not so different from why we [TS]

  can't get cabs in my neighborhood a [TS]

  dispatcher calls a cab driver says would [TS]

  you like to drive way the fuck out to [TS]

  the western part of san francisco ok [TS]

  sure they go one block they see somebody [TS]

  else they can pick up they take it there [TS]

  a tow truck driver who's in the busy [TS]

  holiday season is going to make more [TS]

  money for a bunch of little jobs than [TS]

  one huge job they mean I didn't get all [TS]

  their money from ya [TS]

  yep and so they are just not coming and [TS]

  so they say alright so i say look the [TS]

  destination is I don't know I don't know [TS]

  that all the companies in reading it's [TS]

  friday night it's i called you at [TS]

  one-thirty it's now for the number of [TS]

  places that we could have taken it is is [TS]

  rapidly turning 20 please just send a [TS]

  truck we'll figure out where to take it [TS]

  they're like okay we'll be there in 45 [TS]

  minutes or an hour and a half later now [TS]

  it's 530 the Sun has gone down the [TS]

  temperature in the RV is 34 degrees [TS]

  what and a guy comes along in a truck [TS]

  and he says hey I saw you here two hours [TS]

  ago I didn't stop because i had to go in [TS]

  to get my gun cleaned but uh now i'm [TS]

  back to you want to ride somewhere and [TS]

  he takes me down to Mount Shasta town [TS]

  where he has a friend who runs a tow [TS]

  truck operation i get that guy on the [TS]

  phone he says oh yeah triple triple he's [TS]

  been calling me all afternoon but I [TS]

  don't have a I don't ever read big [TS]

  enough to haul that tanker sorry [TS]

  and so I have this nice man take me back [TS]

  to the rig [TS]

  I climb up the mountain I call triple-a [TS]

  this is now that i have i have shortened [TS]

  this story because in and what you're [TS]

  what you're leaving out as a kindness I [TS]

  I imagine is that when you go and they [TS]

  say 45 minutes each time and you turn [TS]

  off your phone and you just quietly wait [TS]

  for what may or may not happen but it [TS]

  probably won't even be 45 minutes it's [TS]

  that feeling of hopelessness [TS]

  yeah that hopelessness and if you you if [TS]

  you start to yell at them they go into [TS]

  hyper trained a customer service mode [TS]

  where they call you sir [TS]

  and they say you know they like customer [TS]

  service you to death [TS]

  oh yeah and so that you don't want to [TS]

  get too polite [TS]

  yeah you can't yell at them you can ask [TS]

  to speak to their supervisor because [TS]

  they are the supervisor and so here's [TS]

  the most amazing thing I call them [TS]

  finally and this is this is the tenth [TS]

  time I've talked to triple-a this day [TS]

  for the 10th time that one of us has [TS]

  talked to triple-a all of the grown-ups [TS]

  have spent time on on the phone and I [TS]

  call them the tenth time and I get [TS]

  someone on the phone who wants to know [TS]

  the last four my social security number [TS]

  and wants to confirm my birthdate and [TS]

  I'm like I was just on the phone with [TS]

  somebody and they and the woman says oh [TS]

  I don't have any record of you in our [TS]

  system as having called today and I do [TS]

  start to kind of yell not really yell [TS]

  but sort of speak authoritative Lee and [TS]

  she says get this she says oh I'm sorry [TS]

  but we could not find a tow truck [TS]

  company in the region who would take the [TS]

  call [TS]

  and I said Who [TS]

  so what's next no big deal to worry [TS]

  about it and she says I'm sorry starting [TS]

  convenience you that's kind of that's [TS]

  kind of it she says and I'm like what do [TS]

  you mean I mean I have triple a diamond [TS]

  platinum are vetoing triple-a i'm in the [TS]

  mountains in a dead RV with my entire [TS]

  family [TS]

  you're telling me that there's nothing [TS]

  more you can do and she says yeah sorry [TS]

  is there anything else I can help you [TS]

  with tonight I'm just like I don't I [TS]

  don't I don't understand you have [TS]

  resources that i don't have can you just [TS]

  talk call a can you call the reading [TS]

  police can you call anybody [TS]

  she's like yeah we've sort of we've [TS]

  tried everything you can call a towing [TS]

  company she said and try to get them to [TS]

  come out and pay the money for them and [TS]

  then apply to be reimbursed was just [TS]

  like okay yeah i definitely don't put [TS]

  that on the poster when you're trying to [TS]

  sign people up for triple-a now and then [TS]

  she and then literally she says is there [TS]

  anything else I can help you with [TS]

  dinosaur has it as if i'm going to order [TS]

  a t-shirt and so I get off the phone and [TS]

  I start calling just I just google I'm [TS]

  above on the top of the mountain on [TS]

  googling tow truck company's and reading [TS]

  I call a couple of them some nice lady [TS]

  tells me to call Keith stowing and I [TS]

  call Keith snowing and i say i'm in an [TS]

  RV i'm stuck on old salt lick road and [TS]

  he's like oh you're that guy [TS]

  yeah they've been calling here are all [TS]

  afternoon [TS]

  um yeah all right we'll come get you and [TS]

  I was like fucking what are you serious [TS]

  and he's like yeah yeah alright we'll [TS]

  come get you [TS]

  we didn't want to do it but yeah alright [TS]

  you call this you talking to us directly [TS]

  that's okay okay and I'm like are you [TS]

  serious right now is like yeah we'll be [TS]

  there in 45 minutes but here's the [TS]

  problem [TS]

  you have to call us through triple-a so [TS]

  call triple-a back tell them that [TS]

  Keith's towing says they'll take the job [TS]

  tell him it's a t13 and and we'll do it [TS]

  I was like oh please don't make me [TS]

  culture bleh i'll just pay you the money [TS]

  and he said you don't want to do that [TS]

  it's going to be very expensive just [TS]

  give a rough idea of like how much I [TS]

  have no idea what he said was very [TS]

  expensive i was just like okay but I [TS]

  don't want to know anymore right [TS]

  I do not want to know anymore you you be [TS]

  paying like the serious rack rate who [TS]

  knows i mean i'd be paying the cost of [TS]

  the vehicle you know so I cultural a [TS]

  again I go through that whole thing [TS]

  again all the phone tree all of the put [TS]

  in your social security number and you [TS]

  can just hear it in my voice it's like [TS]

  the voice that i use with customs people [TS]

  where it's like I know I've got a bag [TS]

  full of Cuban cigars but I'm so mad at [TS]

  you right now that i'm gonna i am going [TS]

  to fucking white privilege you into [TS]

  letting me go through here like just a [TS]

  so mad and I finally say called Keith [TS]

  stowing tellement sati 13 or time [TS]

  telling us atty 13 and she starts to say [TS]

  something I'm like just called Keystone [TS]

  please just keeps telling let me just [TS]

  say it again Keith stowing please [TS]

  so she does and for up an hour and a [TS]

  half later not 45 minutes an hour and a [TS]

  half later now in the middle of the [TS]

  night we are we're conserving our body [TS]

  heat here comes this rig this magical [TS]

  tow truck a magical tow truck that could [TS]

  that could basically like pull down a [TS]

  water tower it is i'm guessing it's the [TS]

  kind of touchy used to toe another truck [TS]

  yeah it's a semi towing tow truck while [TS]

  she shows up the guy that is driving at [TS]

  Travis is a great guy he's wearing [TS]

  camouflage baseball hat pretty sure he's [TS]

  a deer hunter [TS]

  and find out your eyes your new nacho [TS]

  he's that is the is he's not so too [TS]

  he's not a deer hunter in the sense that [TS]

  he plays Russian Roulette he's a deer [TS]

  hunter in the sense that he you know he [TS]

  believes in the Second Amendment rights [TS]

  but he also knows how to backup a [TS]

  semi-truck that's carrying an RV on a [TS]

  mountain road and he looks up he puts [TS]

  the whole family in the cab which was [TS]

  something that triple-a told us 15 times [TS]

  couldn't be done and off we go and i say [TS]

  Travis where we going you got it you [TS]

  know better than I do and he said oh [TS]

  yeah i know these great guys that repair [TS]

  rvs they're just right up the road here [TS]

  takes into running backs us in to the [TS]

  parking lot which he somehow had the key [TS]

  to the fence for backs into this RV [TS]

  repair shop that's just called like [TS]

  Bob's RV repair the whole parking lot is [TS]

  full of RVs backs up and bobs RV repair [TS]

  has plugins and water and all that stuff [TS]

  for rvs so I hop out i plug this giant [TS]

  plug into the side of the RV and all of [TS]

  a sudden we've got power we've got [TS]

  furnace we've got a stove we've got hot [TS]

  water for the shower and so we all sit [TS]

  there we order pizza delivered to the [TS]

  wrecking yard and we spend another [TS]

  family family night [TS]

  Oh in that's right three days before [TS]

  christmas in the parking lot of this RV [TS]

  repair place we walked up to the to the [TS]

  arco station and got some twix bars and [TS]

  and and then in the morning it was [TS]

  sunday morning [TS]

  no one from the RV places you know [TS]

  they're not around at all and so like I [TS]

  left a note on the windshield [TS]

  it was like a bros call me up when you [TS]

  come to work on Monday you know [TS]

  obviously you see this RV that's sitting [TS]

  here belongs to me and then we rented a [TS]

  car we rented a Dodge truck actually had [TS]

  a nice dodge truck [TS]

  and we drove north but by that point the [TS]

  storm had come in and the pass was not [TS]

  closed but an hour-and-a-half wait [TS]

  yeah because all the semi trucks were [TS]

  putting the chains on and so we drove [TS]

  through Klamath Falls fairly significant [TS]

  detour but still faster but in the end [TS]

  we did not get to seattle until 10pm so [TS]

  I missed the engagement party I missed [TS]

  the show [TS]

  so in conclusion the RV still sits in [TS]

  Redding California the problem was the [TS]

  transmission [TS]

  yeah this is not at this point you I'm [TS]

  up-to-date at this point and you and [TS]

  when we talked to them last monday you [TS]

  were still cautiously pseudo optimistic [TS]

  saying like well you know if it's just a [TS]

  thing i'll get back in the truck and [TS]

  drive back down there and pick it up [TS]

  yep so i have that i have the dodge [TS]

  pickup truck and I was like talking to [TS]

  the guys on the phone on Monday morning [TS]

  and I said you know fix the problem and [TS]

  i'll come down and get it i still have [TS]

  the rental truck i can bring it back and [TS]

  they were like well we need you know we [TS]

  need until noon to diagnose the problem [TS]

  in at noon he said I think we've got to [TS]

  figure it out i think it wasn't that big [TS]

  of a deal i think we can have it fixed i [TS]

  think you can pick it up but but we just [TS]

  want to run a one more test so don't [TS]

  leave yet [TS]

  will you no will call you at 22 came [TS]

  around i call them up and how's it going [TS]

  over like well we figured this thing out [TS]

  and that thing out but we just want to [TS]

  take one more look at it let us just [TS]

  look at one more time and then you know [TS]

  then you can come get it and so I was I [TS]

  was just on the threshold of saying you [TS]

  know what I'm just going to start [TS]

  driving right I'm gonna start driving [TS]

  i'll get down there you know one o'clock [TS]

  in the morning I'll Drive it back [TS]

  tomorrow but there was just some [TS]

  hesitation which was based on having [TS]

  watched that thing burn and I was like [TS]

  really you guys it's just it's just that [TS]

  simple and so I waited at 5pm the guy [TS]

  calls me up [TS]

  but he says I'm sending you some [TS]

  pictures I'm like that's not good and he [TS]

  dropped the pan on the transmission and [TS]

  the pan was full of metal chunks that [TS]

  looked like it looked like someone had [TS]

  taken a transmission and hit with a ball [TS]

  peen hammer kinda like that kid back at [TS]

  the napa auto parts store and Williams [TS]

  and the guy was like yeah your [TS]

  transmissions really broken and you need [TS]

  a new transmission [TS]

  yeah and I was like yeah I know what [TS]

  that costs [TS]

  he's like yeah we can probably get a new [TS]

  transmission in here for four thousand [TS]

  dollars [TS]

  whoa and I was like yeah four thousand [TS]

  dollars that's kind of what i thought he [TS]

  was like well you know we gotta do this [TS]

  to it in that to it and there's a list [TS]

  that this and that and and once it's up [TS]

  on the on the rack we might as well do [TS]

  this and that and so yeah four thousand [TS]

  dollars and so I'm in that predicament [TS]

  right now which everyone who's listening [TS]

  this program that is over the age of 25 [TS]

  can identify with and maybe even some of [TS]

  the people who are under the age of 25 [TS]

  which is a decision must be made which [TS]

  for which there is no good path right [TS]

  fix the RV at the cost of four thousand [TS]

  dollars at which point i have put you [TS]

  know what what seems like a bargain the [TS]

  eight thousand dollar RV has now become [TS]

  a thirteen thousand dollar RV which [TS]

  still has all the same problems that it [TS]

  had oh the great thing about the RV [TS]

  repair guys as they were like we fix [TS]

  your fuel injection problem turns out [TS]

  the guys in san francisco put a new [TS]

  distributor on there and have and the [TS]

  coil is fucked up and it was arcing [TS]

  across the like this the spark was just [TS]

  flying around the top of the motor there [TS]

  that doesn't sound safe for efficient [TS]

  now that's not very good and that that's [TS]

  happened to me before a bad coil in a [TS]

  distributor and you're just but it [TS]

  didn't you know what happened to me [TS]

  before the thing barely read [TS]

  this was a situation where it was it was [TS]

  motoring down the highway it was just [TS]

  parking so they were like wow that was [TS]

  an easy fix [TS]

  I was like oh fuck and I said to them [TS]

  listening all confidence can you tell me [TS]

  did the fact that the coil was arcing [TS]

  and the thing was running family did [TS]

  that cause us to put undue stress on the [TS]

  transmission is the transmission failure [TS]

  a result of the bad shop work and there [TS]

  was a long pause and the guy said I [TS]

  understand what you're asking and it is [TS]

  a good question and I can say pretty [TS]

  confidently that know it the [TS]

  transmission damage is has been ongoing [TS]

  for a long time and there's you know [TS]

  there'd be no way to prove that the [TS]

  additional stress caused this damage and [TS]

  and i doubt that it did [TS]

  frankly not not enough that it is not [TS]

  enough that it would be like it wasn't [TS]

  it wasn't a slam-dunk he couldn't he was [TS]

  that that's good though [TS]

  that's good to hear yeah right i mean it [TS]

  just it's like who you want to be mad at [TS]

  and the end result is like I'm at [TS]

  yourself again I'm not be honest how [TS]

  much I mean the elephant the road how [TS]

  much of that do you think was a [TS]

  professional courtesy [TS]

  that is impossible to know right like [TS]

  he's gonna the guy that fixed the truck [TS]

  is in the auto repair business in [TS]

  California and the guys in the RV repair [TS]

  shop are also in the auto repair [TS]

  business in California and so who [TS]

  fucking knows how America [TS]

  oh there might be some American in there [TS]

  but it's also not a thing that I can you [TS]

  know I can't get in there and say I want [TS]

  it towed to a third shop for a third [TS]

  opinion that will be the same as this [TS]

  opinion anyway so here we are [TS]

  I have to either reconcile myself to the [TS]

  fact that the RV and I had a very short [TS]

  but very magical run [TS]

  and that experiment cost me ten thousand [TS]

  dollars because if i try to sell this RV [TS]

  in the current condition to anyone it is [TS]

  probably worth about 1,500 dollars God [TS]

  or I feel pot committed to this [TS]

  experiment and I somewhere find four [TS]

  thousand dollars which I do not [TS]

  presently have and say god damn yes the [TS]

  RV and iĆ­ve already in this short time [TS]

  bonded with one another to the degree [TS]

  that I will never leave a man behind and [TS]

  I'm going to put this new transmission [TS]

  in there and then i will know for a fact [TS]

  that it has a good transmission just [TS]

  like I know for effective as a good [TS]

  water pump and I know that it also has a [TS]

  good alternator and a good battery [TS]

  because i have replaced those things and [TS]

  now good transmission you know it's a [TS]

  big big part of of refurbishing here [TS]

  vintage vehicle and has to be like some [TS]

  part in your mind though you know you [TS]

  want to avoid as they say that sunk cost [TS]

  fallacy right of feeling like you're [TS]

  throwing good money after bad but I mean [TS]

  you know the obvious other thing is like [TS]

  you know who knows what it is after that [TS]

  right i mean it's not a few new so i can [TS]

  share with our listeners what you told [TS]

  me about what you learned I've learned [TS]

  so much which which they want to give [TS]

  the give a joke away but what you what [TS]

  you were taught about what you can [TS]

  expect in the first year of owning a GMC [TS]

  RV all right right so all the old guys [TS]

  that run these things i'll say look you [TS]

  bought an eight thousand dollar RV [TS]

  that's great that means that you only [TS]

  have to put seventeen thousand dollars [TS]

  more into it if you buy a [TS]

  twenty-thousand-dollar RV you only have [TS]

  to put five thousand dollars into it if [TS]

  you buy a ten-thousand-dollar RV you [TS]

  only have to put $15,000 in it the [TS]

  reality is that you're going to pay [TS]

  twenty-five thousand dollars for this [TS]

  thing and every one of them cost $25,000 [TS]

  eventually and what would a little when [TS]

  they said that that just seemed colorful [TS]

  or did that resonate no I understood [TS]

  what they meant and I and I you know and [TS]

  we and they nodded at me and i nodded [TS]

  back but what I expected was that that [TS]

  $25,000 was going to be [TS]

  amateur eyes dover several years [TS]

  yes seventeen thousand dollars a year [TS]

  would be a bit much [TS]

  yeah yeah yeah that is not i did not [TS]

  that's not your budget when I was like I [TS]

  got a thousand dollars lets you know [TS]

  like I used to be like what i thought [TS]

  was great with money i just saved [TS]

  I saved money and that was something [TS]

  that my peers a didn't do most people i [TS]

  knew would get 50 bucks and they would [TS]

  spend it and I was the guy that would [TS]

  save it and so I I always had a cushion [TS]

  and that was part of my apart i was a [TS]

  thing I was proud of always having a [TS]

  cushion but somehow in the last few [TS]

  years i have just started to be like a [TS]

  guy that gets some money and says let's [TS]

  live a little and I got a thousand [TS]

  dollars i bought this RV now I did not [TS]

  have eight additional thousand dollars [TS]

  to rain to monkey around me whenever you [TS]

  like in terms of just don't get too deep [TS]

  on the psychology but part of it would [TS]

  be like if you went to that place and [TS]

  let's let's let's so you Todd that the [TS]

  guy got the sunglasses were that you [TS]

  thought was gonna be this much said okay [TS]

  look just give me a thousand you can [TS]

  have it [TS]

  well if that have 20,000 on it and you [TS]

  bargain down to 16 you probably would [TS]

  have done it right you know i was [TS]

  prepared to pay 14 for it well um but [TS]

  that was assuming i was gonna get a loan [TS]

  for eight and when i discovered that i [TS]

  could buy it for eight [TS]

  well I had I had it so i just bought it [TS]

  in cash right now I could conceivably [TS]

  get alone there are a lot of ways that I [TS]

  could that I could pursue this repair [TS]

  and I and I know that there are probably [TS]

  tons of listeners right now again I'm [TS]

  going to break the fourth wall somewhat [TS]

  and address them directly there are a [TS]

  lot of you who are squirming in your [TS]

  chair and saying why don't you just do a [TS]

  Kickstarter I've been approached by two [TS]

  different people to talk to you about [TS]

  yeah or patreon or something and we'll [TS]

  just we'll just crowds crowdfunded sure [TS]

  and the answer is that I have a certain [TS]

  amount of adult human pride which this [TS]

  is my folly this thing is that my folly [TS]

  and I know that you all want to [TS]

  participate in it something somewhat and [TS]

  at this point there are tens of [TS]

  thousands of people shaking their head [TS]

  side to side going I don't want to [TS]

  participate in this but there are a lot [TS]

  of you who are generous and thoughtful [TS]

  and caring who want to be a part of this [TS]

  folly or at least like save me spill my [TS]

  fat from the fire but I'm a full grown [TS]

  man and I have made this tingling [TS]

  decision and I feel like I need to I [TS]

  need to own it and not be one of these [TS]

  modern people who turns to the Internet [TS]

  every time that there's a problem says [TS]

  help me obi-wan you're my only hope [TS]

  help me distributed obi-wan and so it's [TS]

  not that you know it's not that I don't [TS]

  appreciate the offer it's not that I [TS]

  don't understand how things work but I [TS]

  just have I'm like I that feels like [TS]

  going hand-in-hand to a group of people [TS]

  that I that I don't I would not go ahead [TS]

  and hand too [TS]

  yeah I i still find still find that [TS]

  difficult to do [TS]

  yeah it is different for anything for [TS]

  even for things where it's like there [TS]

  are people i mean like with this program [TS]

  there are people who said that they [TS]

  would be happy to give us money for that [TS]

  something I've certainly thought about [TS]

  but there's something I mean I'm not [TS]

  against it exactly you don't mean it's [TS]

  just I'm not against it I'm not and I I [TS]

  don't want to be critical of other [TS]

  people's decisions because it's a [TS]

  complicated economy and it's it's [TS]

  certainly something I've thought about [TS]

  but there's still some part of it that i [TS]

  feel like i don't know i have resistance [TS]

  yeah it's like making records right I it [TS]

  used to be hard to make records and so [TS]

  you would go and new script and save and [TS]

  you would get a get together enough [TS]

  money that you could rent some amount of [TS]

  studio time and then you would have to [TS]

  budget and figure it out and now it's [TS]

  just like I want to make a record and [TS]

  I'm put it on put it on the internet and [TS]

  and you can sign up to fund me and [TS]

  that's wonderful [TS]

  I appreciate it but it just feels wrong [TS]

  for me personally to do and maybe i will [TS]

  evolve and come around and allow people [TS]

  to [TS]

  I'm fairly certain that I will at some [TS]

  point maybe in the next year I mean it [TS]

  seems dumb to in order to be a cynical [TS]

  is to say leaving money on the table but [TS]

  if it's also part of being a gracious [TS]

  person is accepting gifts when they're [TS]

  given and it was I'm not great at but [TS]

  there's certain certain graciousness and [TS]

  somebody saying look I'd like you to [TS]

  have this is there's a lot of overhead [TS]

  to accepting things from other people [TS]

  that's true tea and you don't get the [TS]

  same vote and this is nothing is any [TS]

  person it's just it's just a I don't [TS]

  know it's just a little bitch I've got [TS]

  that you know once you do that there are [TS]

  a lot of people you don't know very well [TS]

  who end up being on your ad hoc Board of [TS]

  Advisors for life [TS]

  well I'm the thing is you need look no [TS]

  further than our friend Josh and and you [TS]

  know just to keep you know well anyway [TS]

  it's it's complicated it's complicated [TS]

  i'm not opposed to having a the RV be [TS]

  owned in part in common by all of our [TS]

  friends and fans who are like excitedly [TS]

  and vicariously enjoying this insanity [TS]

  which is why wouldn't you gonna say [TS]

  journey but insanity works too insane [TS]

  journey may be partly fueled by my new [TS]

  bipolar medicine and maybe just that [TS]

  this is how I've always lived my life [TS]

  and and now I'm living it that way again [TS]

  consistent with all of the where [TS]

  decisions I've made and really eight [TS]

  thousand dollars you know in nineteen in [TS]

  1991 dollars i was buying old decrepit [TS]

  cars then and driving them until they [TS]

  broke i just push them into a lake when [TS]

  i was done and I didn't have a child [TS]

  that I was sitting on the side of the [TS]

  road going please let this not be the [TS]

  day right that I get the world's worst [TS]

  parent award but anyway so I'm conscious [TS]

  of that and the here and here's the [TS]

  wonderful thing i got an email from a [TS]

  friend who is a concert promoter and he [TS]

  said listen I've been following your [TS]

  saga [TS]

  what if I booked a tour in California of [TS]

  you and some other musicians and we went [TS]

  and played all of the weird rich people [TS]

  towns like mill valley and sausalito and [TS]

  montecito all the places where nobody [TS]

  ever plays but people have more money [TS]

  than God and instead of a transportation [TS]

  budget where I rented a sprinter van to [TS]

  carry you guys [TS]

  what if we just fix the RV and that was [TS]

  the transportation budget for the tour [TS]

  that's honest a and I was like now that [TS]

  feels honest that feels like exactly the [TS]

  kind of deal that would you know where I [TS]

  wouldn't wear I would have a tremendous [TS]

  gratitude to my friends but I would also [TS]

  feel like we had we had done a good [TS]

  trade a fair trade and so that [TS]

  possibility exists the problem is that [TS]

  the guy in reading where the RV sits [TS]

  right now is understandably impatient [TS]

  for me to make it to someone asked [TS]

  what's your sense of the time to make a [TS]

  decision here [TS]

  well he was like so you know send us the [TS]

  deposit will get putting that thing in [TS]

  right tomorrow or he'll start charging [TS]

  what 200 bucks the datastore it [TS]

  well this is what I don't know so I so I [TS]

  call out so i called him on the phone I [TS]

  talked to him on the phone [TS]

  person-to-person station to station and [TS]

  i said i am not currently in a position [TS]

  to have you go right to work on this [TS]

  thing and he got very quiet and just be [TS]

  clear it's at least four thousand [TS]

  dollars [TS]

  yeah i'm going to eat the thing is he's [TS]

  it is not like it's going to turn out to [TS]

  be $1,500 four thousand dollars is what [TS]

  he knows it's going to cost if [TS]

  everything goes ok yeah and he said i [TS]

  have i have included in this budget on [TS]

  an amount that that acknowledges the [TS]

  possibility of cost overruns and so it [TS]

  could be slightly less than this [TS]

  I just didn't want to you know I didn't [TS]

  want to put an amount in here that it [TS]

  ended up like not being anywhere close [TS]

  and I was like I'm grateful to you for [TS]

  that [TS]

  but having said like I I'm not ready [TS]

  exactly to pull the trigger on this he [TS]

  was like well what are we talking about [TS]

  and so he and I had a very slow voiced [TS]

  negotiation where I said what if we [TS]

  started to work on it in February and he [TS]

  was like I could keep it on the lot till [TS]

  the first week of january and we went [TS]

  back and forth like this with a little [TS]

  the little badminton birdie of how long [TS]

  can I keep it at your place besides [TS]

  sucking air [TS]

  I don't not quite sure [TS]

  BRR and so what we settled on was the [TS]

  last week of january i would have a I [TS]

  would have a plan let's look at december [TS]

  until the last week of january so he has [TS]

  little keep it there till January he has [TS]

  allowed it [TS]

  I can get to be on his property until [TS]

  January that's really cool [TS]

  well it's very cool and there and he's [TS]

  like listen I'd I know where your end [TS]

  and I actually pulled the Christmas card [TS]

  I was like it's it's two days before [TS]

  Christmas and he was like Christmas cup [TS]

  he was like i know i know it is and i [TS]

  was like and i and i kinda just you know [TS]

  I just sort of said in that voice that [TS]

  communicated that I was just a regular [TS]

  guy who was just trying to put christmas [TS]

  trees under his spirit of Christmas on [TS]

  the table I was just trying to put [TS]

  christmas trees on the table and and he [TS]

  was like you know we had a regular guy [TS]

  exchange where he was like I know man i [TS]

  feel you and I was like I know right [TS]

  he was like yep two days before [TS]

  christmas and i right [TS]

  yep [TS]

  and so that's where we're at that is [TS]

  where we are at 0 and so I have a month [TS]

  more or less to both decide and having [TS]

  decided conjure up the cash to fix it or [TS]

  conjure up the contract the the the [TS]

  balls to get a get out of it [TS]

  just fold yeah and I just don't I still [TS]

  so what so what my mom advise me it was [TS]

  stopped thinking about it you have some [TS]

  time now just stop tormenting yourself [TS]

  every minute of your life with with [TS]

  these bad thoughts and let's just look [TS]

  for her [TS]

  yeah and she was like it literally is [TS]

  the day before Christmas don't you know [TS]

  don't ruin yourself doing and thinking [TS]

  about a thing that you can't do anything [TS]

  about but now i'm on the other side of [TS]

  Christmas [TS]

  yeah we're in the week between first and [TS]

  I you know I've got to come up with a [TS]

  solution and whatever this whatever this [TS]

  offer of a tour is it's not going to be [TS]

  until spring or summer and and I don't [TS]

  know you know I don't know what his [TS]

  ability is to advance the transportation [TS]

  budget or whether i would that would [TS]

  trend into uncomfortable territory for [TS]

  me [TS]

  I mean I don't know I'm you and I both [TS]

  are somewhat handicapped by our [TS]

  inability to accept generosity [TS]

  yeah sometimes but it's also like this [TS]

  is this is my brains not your brain but [TS]

  my brain is you know because I do live [TS]

  so much inside my own- head that I can [TS]

  come up with a lot of things that won't [TS]

  go well and that makes me procrastinate [TS]

  my arm that's just how I am about all [TS]

  kinds of things but with something like [TS]

  this you know there's just all kinds of [TS]

  on the one hand there there is this is [TS]

  not just you there's all this we don't [TS]

  like feeling it's not even the simplest [TS]

  thing feeling like a failure but it [TS]

  doesn't feel good to walk away from [TS]

  something [TS]

  right thats its own kind of easy way out [TS]

  and you know it's even setting aside the [TS]

  logic and the money and all those kinds [TS]

  of things there's something that makes [TS]

  you feel makes you feel like less of a [TS]

  successful person if your answers to [TS]

  just quit and you want to try and find [TS]

  some clever way to either keep it going [TS]

  or to make it better or you know again [TS]

  that the two things super interesting [TS]

  but I mean yeah you're not gonna get [TS]

  that money for four months and then you [TS]

  got to think about like what are the [TS]

  other things you could get I mean you [TS]

  can get four thousand dollars that's [TS]

  that's not that hard in itself getting [TS]

  four thousand dollars is not an [TS]

  impossible thing but then what does it [TS]

  take to get that 4,000 what else do you [TS]

  are for go to get that or what else do [TS]

  you like [TS]

  agreed to do right to to get that and so [TS]

  that's where it gets complicated further [TS]

  complicated in my head by like okay if [TS]

  you do get that you spend let's say four [TS]

  thousand dollars and as soon as you [TS]

  drive it off the lot something else [TS]

  happens that last part where in that's [TS]

  the self-defeating in my head of like [TS]

  you know you know what if what if this [TS]

  is what this is just the beginning and [TS]

  now you have four thousand dollars [TS]

  yeah it's almost certainly just the [TS]

  beginning the question is like do you [TS]

  how yeah how how far you how far do you [TS]

  roll with that before you say like this [TS]

  this is not the right time [TS]

  yeah right yeah right yeah right like [TS]

  that this is not the right time in my [TS]

  life to have embraced this weird [TS]

  lifestyle choice of being like a RV [TS]

  owner and I mean and you know not to [TS]

  piss in the punch bowl but it's further [TS]

  to the point of why you may not want to [TS]

  believe there is something nice and [TS]

  something sort of it's a wonderful life [TS]

  about you know Harry Bailey walking in [TS]

  with the basket full of money and saying [TS]

  hey everything solved Merry Christmas [TS]

  every time a bell rings there's that [TS]

  feeling but like what if everybody on [TS]

  the internet gets to celebrate with you [TS]

  that your goal was met yay [TS]

  I've been patreon and then something [TS]

  else happens when they are really on the [TS]

  hook huh [TS]

  you have investors already took a you [TS]

  took around and like now you know what I [TS]

  mean it's like then it would it would [TS]

  feel like oh you know what I want to [TS]

  spend that money if he's not actually [TS]

  gonna do this and it's like see it's [TS]

  like now you just end up going people in [TS]

  a different way [TS]

  I don't know that's my head anyway yeah [TS]

  and-and-and mind to a I just don't [TS]

  yeah right i mean i'm i'm almost back to [TS]

  like let's not think about it for [TS]

  another week or so and just hope that I [TS]

  wish I could do that [TS]

  it's such a good idea i wish i could [TS]

  just say there's not that much I can do [TS]

  about this thing right now and I don't [TS]

  need to make a decision about it yet so [TS]

  I just don't think about it i wish i [TS]

  wish i had a way to do that I wish I [TS]

  wish I had that kind of executive [TS]

  control over what my mind decided to [TS]

  focus on [TS]

  yeah i'm i'm i'm learning it and and it [TS]

  is better than like laying in bed in the [TS]

  middle of the night going [TS]

  I am an awful person and this is an [TS]

  awful circumstance [TS]

  get out of my head yeah right like like [TS]

  what what what what good is that gonna [TS]

  do [TS]

  so you're just just to clarify for the [TS]

  listeners and people have been very you [TS]

  know kind and generous and I've you know [TS]

  been emailed like SI by a couple people [TS]

  one person like you have been contacted [TS]

  by also and I just said you know if [TS]

  there's this this sounds Kurt but when [TS]

  people contact me in order to contact [TS]

  someone else which is something happens [TS]

  more than one might imagine i'm finally [TS]

  contacted by sorry to contact someone [TS]

  else and I frequently as frequently as i [TS]

  get that right uh request from somebody [TS]

  i will often just say the same thing [TS]

  which is this what did they say when you [TS]

  ask them because that's probably the [TS]

  same answer [TS]

  like if the answer was they didn't [TS]

  respond then I'm not comfortable being [TS]

  the person to go make my friend respond [TS]

  to somebody else and if they said no [TS]

  then I really really really don't feel [TS]

  like I should do that but just for our [TS]

  listeners then in that case we'll break [TS]

  down the first wall here [TS]

  so you're saying least for now not [TS]

  interested in doing a a crowdfunded RV [TS]

  repair system [TS]

  I you know I think I would I think you [TS]

  and I have talked about like doing some [TS]

  kind of crowd funding or patriotic thing [TS]

  for our program and i think i would be [TS]

  more interested in that at in you and in [TS]

  the two of us continuing to argue about [TS]

  it because we are giving people [TS]

  something whereas what i am what i would [TS]

  be the service I would be providing our [TS]

  listeners and and generous donors by [TS]

  continuing to live in this RV and drive [TS]

  it around the country like a crazy [TS]

  person is less tangible to me and I know [TS]

  there are people who would make an [TS]

  argument like you the enjoyment i get [TS]

  out of watching you Instagram yourself [TS]

  driving this RV around is worth some [TS]

  small donation to the cause like I [TS]

  understand that I understand it but it [TS]

  but it feels to me like a little bit i [TS]

  don't know less honest or less not [TS]

  honest [TS]

  no it'sit's that there's not a good word [TS]

  for it it feels it doesn't feel wrong [TS]

  but it doesn't feel right [TS]

  yeah if you're not it's weird because I [TS]

  mean we're all expect to have these [TS]

  really polarized very strong opinions [TS]

  about things and this is one of those [TS]

  topics where I don't have it sits an [TS]

  impossibly weak position or feeling that [TS]

  i have about it which is just that [TS]

  yeah I could I could see that but then I [TS]

  also see like all these horror stories [TS]

  on Kickstarter were like oh my gosh [TS]

  everything most like the most fun thing [TS]

  of all time [TS]

  apparently is this cooler that like you [TS]

  know has a blender on it and then they [TS]

  didn't deliver to their people before [TS]

  they started selling on Amazon not [TS]

  everybody hates them in like glue sticks [TS]

  there's so many ways in which that [TS]

  exposes you you know this really goes [TS]

  back to probably one of our very first [TS]

  public conversations which is when i [TS]

  interview you for my video show and I [TS]

  made that crack about how like if you go [TS]

  to a software review site and if it's [TS]

  free [TS]

  you'll find these mostly like kind of [TS]

  pretty positive reviews if something [TS]

  changes and nickel for something [TS]

  everything changes everything changes [TS]

  yes as soon as money changes hands the [TS]

  nature of the relationship really [TS]

  changes and it's I think it's one reason [TS]

  a lot of us are happy to like hide [TS]

  behind more of a business model that [TS]

  doesn't you know it [TS]

  ocean that way so i'm not i'm not [TS]

  against it but if you know I guess we [TS]

  can go talk some more smart friends and [TS]

  find out what would be involved in doing [TS]

  that but i'd like to see you get a fix [TS]

  but also don't want you to like be [TS]

  investing in this like I mean none of my [TS]

  fucking business but like I don't also [TS]

  don't want you to have to like be [TS]

  funding this albatross for the rest of [TS]

  your you know near future [TS]

  well and here's the key thing right and [TS]

  i think part of what part of why i went [TS]

  from being a saver a meticulous saver [TS]

  and a a a a saver who saved above all [TS]

  like the highest moral good to me has [TS]

  always been saving money and the and the [TS]

  benefit of money in the bank outweighed [TS]

  the benefit of almost any material good [TS]

  and that became a tyranny over myself [TS]

  and as much as I like as much as I tisk [TS]

  tisk and shook my head and my friends [TS]

  who were buying motorcycles and guitars [TS]

  and and trips and you know and just [TS]

  blowing their money and then sitting [TS]

  around complaining about how poor they [TS]

  were I like had this virtue which was [TS]

  then I saved and i freed myself from [TS]

  that tyranny several years ago by [TS]

  finally acknowledging what I always knew [TS]

  which is that money is fake money is [TS]

  fake and it doesn't actually have like [TS]

  collecting it has no virtue spending it [TS]

  has no virtue it is of its false and [TS]

  what does it represent you know what is [TS]

  the thing that you want and what does [TS]

  that mean [TS]

  and I realized that I wanted leisure or [TS]

  I thought I did and I saved money in [TS]

  order to ensure that i had that security [TS]

  of being able to just take the day off [TS]

  and take the week off that was what that [TS]

  was my highest good and other people [TS]

  wanted material things and that was the [TS]

  and money was just a out a way of of [TS]

  accomplishing those things but that the [TS]

  money itself is just an it's just [TS]

  imaginary [TS]

  and so I started to allow myself to [TS]

  spend money because I was like you know [TS]

  what it comes it goes like fuck it don't [TS]

  sit up don't Scrooge McDuck it or small [TS]

  get where youre don't lock your goal [TS]

  don't small your gold and you're just in [TS]

  there with one eyelid open while the [TS]

  fucking hobbits sneak in and get your I [TS]

  forget the end of that book i read in a [TS]

  long time what do they do they get in [TS]

  there and they get the the the the the [TS]

  dwarves get there [TS]

  valhalla back i don't remember well [TS]

  small doesn't win that's the that's the [TS]

  smokes in an awkward position because [TS]

  the more gold in your horde the more you [TS]

  have to protect the more you have to [TS]

  live and no matter how how good a dragon [TS]

  you are that's still no way to spend a [TS]

  lifetime [TS]

  yeah right so you can sit and say four [TS]

  thousand dollars for this transmission [TS]

  is half the price I paid for the whole [TS]

  RV it's good money after bad it's paul [TS]

  this blah blah blah now I've paid [TS]

  fourteen thousand dollars for this thing [TS]

  that's only worth 14 thousand dollars [TS]

  and herpa derpa derp but ultimately like [TS]

  all of that is just knowing the price of [TS]

  everything in the value of nothing and [TS]

  money is is false enough that i need to [TS]

  constantly remind myself to spend it [TS]

  because fuck it and also you'll make [TS]

  more and also leisure is not a very good [TS]

  goal [TS]

  turns out for me because I spent several [TS]

  years with enough money to allow myself [TS]

  to take the month off and that did not [TS]

  produce good mental health and it didn't [TS]

  produce it didn't produce happiness [TS]

  ultimately yeah [TS]

  also any moneys money's a little bit [TS]

  like status or what you could call power [TS]

  but we all call status money's a little [TS]

  bit like status which is where in some [TS]

  ways the more you get a bit [TS]

  the more you realize what bullshit is [TS]

  now but the less you have it the more [TS]

  incredibly real and important it seems [TS]

  so you know it all seems like bullshit [TS]

  until you don't have it and then it [TS]

  seems and this is this is why I mean [TS]

  what it whereas every conspiracy theory [TS]

  come from [TS]

  in some ways like this conspiracy [TS]

  theories come from trying to explain why [TS]

  the world is the way it is based on what [TS]

  you know what you think and how you [TS]

  think life should be and whether or not [TS]

  that has anything to do with reality it [TS]

  has everything to do with all the facts [TS]

  that are not in evidence and especially [TS]

  all the status you don't have well [TS]

  obviously something must be going on [TS]

  when all those which important people [TS]

  have meetings in the a teddy bear picnic [TS]

  they must be deciding that must be the [TS]

  Jews deciding what movies are going to [TS]

  come out and with interest rates will be [TS]

  like that's the only plausible [TS]

  explanation will know it's actually not [TS]

  but that's if you don't have access to [TS]

  that that's what it seems like it's it's [TS]

  what makes us less empathetic toward [TS]

  other people is this constant leveling [TS]

  of how much status and many other people [TS]

  have and like what they deserve and how [TS]

  much of their own feelings they should [TS]

  be entitled to right i mean sorry that's [TS]

  a little rambling but you know like i [TS]

  said the dignity police are always [TS]

  digging police are always out there [TS]

  looking at other people and trying to [TS]

  figure out what they've heard like [TS]

  Ernest in like what they deserve [TS]

  right i own right and I can't i think [TS]

  very clearly this RV which catches on [TS]

  fire and leeks and has a upholstery the [TS]

  color of pepto bismal both my friends [TS]

  and my enemies seem to agree that it's [TS]

  what I deserve [TS]

  oh my god this just this is went from [TS]

  being about car repaired mythology [TS]