Roderick on the Line

Ep. 184: "Mr. Choƶde"


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  hello I John hi Marilyn

  how's it going good i'm sorry I'm late

  that's ok i can't keep forgetting when

  the winter time that I have to warm up

  my truck for an hour-and-a-half how cold

  is it there

  oh right now it's not that cold it's you

  know it's in the in the cold range but

  it's not like cold cold but the truck

  doesn't know that the truck doesn't

  think for itself

  it's not really that useful i'm gonna go

  with this home for its 48 it's 44 th 42

  let's say I'm just going to check the


  ok let's see what the internet says uh

  like 42 well first of all when you go to

  this website and search for weather in

  seattle washington

  it gives you the address of 490 james

  street I don't know where that is 490

  dreams probably reveal too much already

  they say it downtown 3700 and overcast

  and it feels like 37 so so I'm my

  calibration is five degrees off and I'm

  gonna have to i'm just going to have to

  chalk that up to feeling like to be an

  optimist I love that about you right

  you're always looking on the bright side

  it's like sporty now it's 42 it's not 37

  you know 37 is pretty cold

  yeah it's cold you're gonna have a

  scattered scattered light rain until

  about three o'clock and then it will be


  I think that's consistent with in my

  experience doesn't say anything about

  like road rage e fat middle-aged guys

  and f2 fifties yeah it says here you can

  look for that started a little bit for

  for my it will reach its peak at about 5

  35 mm and the probably some injuries by

  seven and I got a little glimpse of this

  morning but didn't I just turned my

  windshield wipers on a way it went

  Stillson that Delia Smith song uh-huh oh

  dear well what did what are you driving

  now to to get to where you go if I could

  ask well you know I've got my god 1979

  GMC Suburban which is which

  you know I'm doubling down on on the

  vintage GMC sure family thank you but

  the GMC only has an AM radio and so if i

  want to it and it only has one speaker

  and it's in the middle of the dash

  yeah and the one speaker was I think


  sign to communicate only in beeps in

  World War two

  it was it was the spinach is stuff still

  sounds pretty good

  the Bible stuff is good there is a great

  station in seattle called kxi that

  always used to play big band music but

  as the big band generation has died

  now the old people are that strange

  strange generation born in the thirties

  which nobody cares about they don't have

  a name their the Lost Generation well

  that's a shame it's terrible at their

  pre baby boomers but their post greatest

  generation and they swear to you Merlin

  had the worst music of many people ever

  let's see yeah you know they're sort of

  like an early version of our generation

  the inbetweeners generation if you're

  born in the thirties you're gonna be you

  know what you're gonna be you're gonna

  be the people who screamed Frank

  Sinatra's what you're going to be that's

  exactly right von Monroe but Frank

  Sinatra's early stuff you don't know I

  mean I mean yeah I mean like now it's a

  natural one point out right when you

  offer so not yeah tell me about people

  forget about you i think a lot of people

  don't really know about Frank Sinatra

  mmm i think you're right

  well i mean i think there's two at least

  two maybe three interesting things a lot

  of people don't know about Frank Sinatra

  the first of all they don't realize that

  he was mayor rudy vallee before him but

  he was one of the original giant in like

  a national teen heartthrobs you probably

  are big pop star that's right and and

  that but basically you know as we know

  from the Godfather that he was working

  for I would say Tommy Shaw when I mean

  to say to me don't see it would be kind

  of Greater Tommy shot had a big Lear get

  a wood and Frank Sinatra was the singer

  Oh mom here with my long arm of the

  lobby mom

  yeah but and so he's under contract damn

  he was basically he was just another guy

  working for them and then you know and

  then the dawn got him out of the


  don was with mr. Woltz put the put the

  hook for suhoor said mr. Woltz is a bed

  my goodness my goodness what a wonderful

  seen Frank Sinatra and then I had a

  funny CD of his in the eighties excuse

  me in there

  yeah the late eighties which was no mr.

  mr. wall

  you haven't yet a CD of his immediate

  she was the best piece of ass I ever had

  she yeah kind of heroin

  yeah that's a shame what happened that

  girl he ruined her listen Frank Sinatra

  you fucked my wife

  haha on the box he had several

  interesting things happen one of them

  was it like at one point you know

  there's a big strike the musicians went

  on strike in the forties you know about


  well you have a big musician strike in

  the 1940s but I hate you

  god dammit the musicians went on strike

  and so they're debating like what are we

  gonna do we cannot record and so there's

  this reference columbia there's this

  really weird series of songs he did

  that's just him one recorded because

  that is a hatter room for three hours

  one take one and done but yeah and so he

  had a record recordings of him with

  basically just acapella background

  singing my super interesting and then

  what people don't realize is he was a

  wash up

  he was and so that's that can it always

  comes back all roads lead back to the

  Godfather because because the story

  apparently was true that like if he

  needed that role he needed a humanistic

  Golden Arm well before that though it

  was from here to eternity

  I think that's the movie they're

  referencing as a romantic lay in the

  godfather and so what was she like his

  career was on the skids and he was what

  he was maybe his thirties and then he

  went to jail for a they arrested him

  you are so excited to tell the story of

  Frank Sinatra's American icon is a

  horrible human being and and recording

  something her public radio he's the

  reason his family his estate is the

  reason why we get all this

  what why there's more careful control of

  the IP on dead people bitching about

  that you put your body on my mind here

  with the tendrils of the Frank Sinatra

  stina Sinatra since his death circa

  nineteen ninety has run his empire and

  basically what they're running into was

  that Frank Sinatra's was was like being

  put on everything they said this has to

  stop long story short you can send

  planet money on this very good program

  and they basically came up with this new

  new kind of law that said that you know

  that that's why the Elvis family you

  know the other's family puts is a put

  his face on everything now but their

  money they control that

  sure sure

  sure where's the James Dean family and

  Marilyn Monroe family so they end up on

  unlike cocaine mirrors all across

  America and all those in a red jacket

  point all those all those pictures that

  i see i I'm astonished at least have

  such a such a tremendous life in a very

  life but those pictures of like Marilyn

  Monroe James Dean bob marley john lennon

  and roy orbison or something all playing

  pool you know it's not like it's like

  dogs playing poker yeah called the

  legends well sure you know if it has

  been got heaven must be held a man that

  kind of thing yeah Jimi Hendrix's in

  there sometimes you know it's like so

  weird to me when people do that

  yeah and you see them you see these like

  it's not really a poster I'm used to

  seeing it as an illuminated mirror in a

  certain kinds of the kind of painting in


  yeah yeah it's a painting right it's

  like it's like if somebody I think what

  happened is somebody noticed that the

  Traveling Wilburys had happened and they

  were like what if what if we had the

  ultimate traveling wilburys it's like

  musical fan thick musical fanfic that's

  exactly right but I mean value that

  bandwidth sound awful horrible because I

  wouldn't with James Dean do play the

  drums I think bongos

  what are you up there for he would be in

  the davy jones part he would be the one

  with maybe like six maracas or five

  tambourines member david jones always

  had way too many percussion instruments

  that were a lot of tambourines well and

  everything is I always wanted him to

  where Ricky Ricardo shirt how man Ricky

  Ricardo was a talented guy

  I you know I miss all these heroes the

  thing about the 1930s i was watching

  band with Ricky Ricardo and James Dean

  and and maybe I'm really works and broke

  be playing groans I don't like the

  honeycombs will be totally cool

  Frank's another right to take it is

  happening right back

  he was the most was that he's the only

  one of those guys will remember but

  there which one there were dozens of

  crooners oh sure it'll get the critters

  and they were making music they were

  making this treacly terrible music you

  got Chuck hatman you've got Michael

  Michael microphone you got to Bobby Byrd


  bobby socks bobby socks for do they call

  bobby socks for sure i love you i said

  12 times we had to change it Bobby to

  bobby socks ready you know because of

  recent changes to Bobby suck UK but I

  but so that is the music that I can hear

  in my truck so as per usual I'd

  generally leave the radio off when I'm

  traveling in the truck

  yeah you know that's to me that's a

  little bit like reggae I can take a

  little bit of that thing a little bit of

  that and there are some kinds of things

  there's a show i like a lot of uh on

  public radio called fascinating rhythm

  and it's this guy who goes in and does

  like it's basically music of the early

  to mid-twentieth century there's

  something traumatic and he'll play stuff

  like you know Bill Murray the original

  memory like the old Irish crooner who

  play these old songs from likes like

  like cylinders and 78 and stuff like

  that i enjoy that I went I enjoy that

  but like like reggae a little bit goes a

  long way from me

  sure William William Murray was my

  father are bilmar touch dr. Murray like

  yeah so yeah story tears in his eyes I

  guess that was what was so amazing about

  Nelson Riddle right we think of nelson

  riddle is being kind of corny now but at

  the time those Nelson Riddle

  arrangements were like sweeping the

  slate clean of all these dumb violin or

  dislike lame-ass a soft music yeah well

  he's a tree actually I mean I'm not a

  scholar of this era but uh so right now

  get on there let's fall in love by Dan

  diana krall is playing on kxi right now

  miss you know 5654 afternoon drive is

  coming up there

  so what's crazy is that that John cash

  has become a major major figure in the

  he has a radio program it's it's the

  very first banner on the page it's him

  superimposed very poorly in Photoshop

  over the city of seattle looking like

  you sleeping it off a little bit yeah

  and it's one of those syndicated

  programs where he comes on and he's he's

  a friendly guy he's got a voice that's

  that makes you trust him right away

  sure and he's like hey these are this

  you know these are the sweet sounds of

  your of our youth or something this is

  that this was the sound of our lives

  yeah heading and how the hell is our

  jaunt ashes like 50 right i mean he's

  not a member of this lost generation or

  but he's really selling them

  usually selling his 63 from Garden City

  New York was married he was married to

  Connie sellecca nothing wrong with that

  you know I was a little bit late getting

  in here and it seems like you've had an

  extra cup of coffee or something because

  you are you are checking the internet

  with some alacrity sorry I'm so sorry

  no no it's fantastic it's 144 any james

  street is the Metropolitan management

  company just so you know right yeah

  that's not that's when you ask for

  weather in seattle they tell you about

  the Metropolitan management oh they got

  one star on yelp just say no well I I

  feel like I feel like what you what you

  expect is that they are gonna give you

  the the temperature at the airport

  that's what they usually do yeah

  but-but-but 490 James I wonder how much

  they paid to be the weather source

  oh you think that's a placement yeah I

  feel like that sort of like costco field

  or something

  ok I search for SCA and it gives the

  search engine optimization back with the

  fucking my bell rings my bell

  where am I don't know where's my bell

  holy shit my business is still my bell

  oao time back here then right mine's not

  hiding minus full-on missing search

  engine optimization yeah haha at the

  seattle airport at 1773 international

  boulevard is 36 degrees but it feels

  like 33

  wow that's probably that accounts for

  that is accounted for by the by the wind

  that they get up there they are again a

  little bit of light rain 10 minutes that

  will end in about 15 minutes

  did you know that a fighter plane taking

  off from the deck of an aircraft as a

  word problem John ok a fighter plane

  takes off from an aircraft carrier okay

  30 knots and a train leaves minneapolis

  headed the other way and it's going well

  it's going 11 not some had two units the

  miles on my head what

  at what point does the fighter plane

  overfly the railroad train if you have

  no idea where the fighter five-thirty

  p.m. at 490 james street

  Wow yep you have some mad skills is

  common core

  I learned the common core system but I

  feel like that was an imaginary number

  oh yeah

  solve for x so we got music Frank

  Sinatra yeah whatever hands that that

  that what I didn't realize is that a

  fighter plane needs to be a means to

  have a 30-knot headwind in order to

  successfully take off from an aircraft

  carrier but not coincidentally 30

  minutes is the speed that an aircraft

  carrier can can reach when it's really

  gonna die soon as engineers are smart

  see isn't that nice going on so they

  just even if there's no wind at all they

  can get 30 not headwind bye-bye kicking

  it into high gear and understand this 30

  knots is 34.5 two three four miles per

  hour but why do you need too many

  different things so close it's so close

  it was close

  well it's not now and not is based on

  these to put actual knots in ropes and

  that's how they would make sure how far

  apart it was yes as long as two knots on

  the Kings rope they'd spit out the back

  of the ship

  uh-huh maybe like what we're traveling

  you know 11 knots

  how many fathoms in a knot who these are

  these are things I yeah there's there's

  a very small part of me that feels like

  I should have this information but a

  much larger part that is glad that i

  don't i'm glad that i don't have this

  clogging up my brain pipes and that

  indeed how many knots are in a league

  they found a fathom is six feet now

  story is 10 feet i would call when I say

  like it's 100 feet

  I think of that as being 10 stories yeah

  i think it's about 10 feet

  yes actually 10 stores ok alright feat

  speed two-story so if it's like 800 feet

  that's like an 80 story building what

  that's crazy there are nearly 80 story

  building there's probably some kind of

  us the key action at a distance thing

  like when it gets further up it

  compresses like a forced perspective I

  wonder about that

  yeah I don't know do you think that you

  think that that skyscraper builders are

  still using Greek like perspective in

  their constructions great person a great

  perspective perspective that sounds like

  a shell on c-span that not many people

  watch a great perspective would be a

  great show i'm actually thinking about

  starting a show a new show him to to

  really flesh out my my nascent empire of

  podcasts oh that's a great idea a new


  ok a new show that talks about the Greek

  perspective the so will a lot of

  directions with that will have guests

  can have spanakopita and all we all.we

  that the only thing that needs to tie

  the episodes together is what's the

  Greek perspective it's just it just has

  to be something Greek about it

  somebody talks about something nobody

  talks about you know whatever it is

  pressing suits or or repointing a brick


  yeah and that's like what's the Greek

  perspective on this right because

  they've been around for a pretty long

  time they had a lot of time to look at

  things so they would have a perspective

  on a lot of things we could look at the

  old Greek perspective we could look at

  the new Greek playing classical Greek a

  modern contemporary Greek sort of that

  middle period Griffin huge now you can

  do that show with Diana you can do that

  with something on your own you think I

  feel like you know I've got a podcast

  with you that i'm very happy with and I

  got a podcast with damn I've got also

  happy with and now I feel like that we

  need some new blood in here is your

  chance to do bring in sometimes our user

  touches her case it could be on the

  Greek perspective

  well I wonder you know cirque use' right

  well he's mine yours is almost Greek

  yeah i mean that's the italian is kinda

  between Jewish Greek it's a little bit

  in between that's interesting between

  Jewish and Greek sort of Italian that

  would be another show you have a whole

  empire here you could be like you could

  be like Jesse throwing just need to get

  that creepy beer

  yeah bye-bye to show called between

  Jewish and Greek that's said it by it

  listen if I were gonna have a 3some

  that's where I want to be

  oh dear uh oh my goodness i don't like

  talking about sex not well you know

  there's so many things i don't like

  talking about um it's been awhile you

  know i'm still haven't been able to get

  I haven't been able to arrange a time

  yeah to have a podcast with dan in the

  last couple of weeks actually tricky

  sometimes it's really tricky and spread


  it's been cool frustrating a nice to

  have these boxes keep stacking up I've

  got a lot of and that's the whole point

  that's the MacGuffin that's a great

  perspective is that you you can't open

  those until you're on his program i feel

  but I don't feel that way I feel like

  I've gotta get gotta get this kind of

  start working through this mail but I

  don't I don't


  look here's the thing i have i have i

  have three things we have talked about

  today we've already talked about Frank

  Sinatra so that's settled

  good we got to get up the energy mcrp

  and we have to pick up our show at

  sketchfest that leaves us ample time for

  you to open the box

  oh thanks Merlin that's fantastic don't

  know how it is you want to get loaded up

  you got to spend a penny if you want go

  ahead and open a box that's right take a

  penny leave a penny leave a penny

  uh okay let's talk about our show at

  sketchfest was very excited about it's

  only what our fourth live Robert on the

  line show in capital over yells at


  I'll remember that really loud that room

  was ok yes don't yell at them and tell

  them on it was very distracting member

  we fed we've had mixed success with live


  alright the first one ever when we were

  in the when we were in the terrarium

  whereby stuff tape loser maybe just

  maybe as a dick i'm not sure we're by

  some kind of a stuffed animal

  yeah and then that people were having a

  party drinks in the back of the room and

  shuck and jive and playing grab-ass

  that's right we had a very attentive

  audience sitting in chairs and then in

  the back it was like a meet-and-greet

  for some software ding-a-lings ya like

  hey you guys shut up back there

  yeah and then the whole room erupted and

  they were not they were not that

  receptive to your message

  well those guys weren't but you know

  they're great they're not listening to

  anybody right there young geniuses

  there's not

  hmm there's not that many venues in san

  francisco where you can perform in a

  room with like penguins

  so that's a nice thing about that room

  people are there to see the Penguins

  let's be honest I feel like we could

  maybe we could be the ones that change


  yeah like penguins live penguins in

  every venue in San Francisco creek

  perspective we're gonna be at sketchfest

  this week this friday in four days from

  now this will come out loud today is

  Monday this will come out later today

  there's not really really particularly

  good URL that I can give to you for this

  i made a URL for this that is a kind of

  inscrutable ah mr. you can go to my

  Maker you know I'm a maker on my

  makerbot you can go to i dash 0 dot us /

  r2r OTL dash SF SF dash 16 but i don't

  recommend it

  you can search for water on the line

  best you know

  iOS will probably added three times me

  today it has auto corrected sketchfest

  just three times today so you know buyer


  but friday January 8 730 p.m. 2 9pm john

  and i will be appearing to do live rock

  on the line and a wonderful venue that I

  really like a lot called the swedish

  american all that place to eat in there

  oh yeah well we used to obviously play

  you that Kevin Keeley the cafe du nord

  yeah I didn't order two thousand times

  but i went up i saw a I saw let's see a

  couple of bands up in the swedish

  american portion including putting like

  an acoustic spoon so smooth i would love

  that split up there playing acoustic it

  was it was it was great i look at your

  man named jason brown skirt is he seems

  like a nice guy he's a very good driver

  he's a very good drummer and a very very

  nice guy i think these are generations

  Ringo I'm gonna say nice guy and spoon

  nice all that doesn't seem too hard

  right at the end of the other guy right

  over here

  a lo where's the super ghetto soup so

  yes I'm very excited about it because

  last year at the the second sketch

  sketch fest we did I had a wonderful

  wonderful time at that show i was really

  nice to give me a bourbon and and I

  remember when we met that lady who

  wanted to meet you and we took her away

  from her husband brought upstairs wasn't

  that wonderful so much worse than it was

  that really sounded terrible when you

  put it that way

  no but it was a it was a wonderful time

  we had a nice chat we had a nice chat

  look at the photo here on the page you

  can see us holding microphones and there

  was Green a very dynamic is very Italian

  was very Italian the one thing I regret

  from that show is that some one made a

  whole stack of here we go

  five-card I'll porch on you think about

  stuff if you remember stuff you did

  yeah well she's so she made this whole

  stack of these things that are the eye

  from what i can tell all had each three

  by five card had a reference to

  something from the program or or you

  know like so an extrapolation from from

  that and she had placed them carefully

  at the front of the stage

  I think she got other people to fill

  them out to I think that's true

  crowd-sourced it they were in different

  handwriting and she intended it as as a

  nice gift or maybe you know something

  that we would either treasure or

  utilize and I walked on the stage and I

  saw this thing and I recognized it as

  some kind of some sort of offering but i

  assumed immediately that it was an

  attempt to usurp what we were gonna do

  yeah bye-bye you know by a UH asserting

  some sort of fan ownership over over us

  or the show and so I actually naturally

  just saying that so I kicked the pile of

  cards into the audience and it was a

  purpose or Die kick it or did I pick it

  up and throw it

  I think you flung it is part of you we

  describe this we talk about this in an

  episode you like to come out on the

  stage you complain about things you move

  chairs around you you berate staff

  because that's part of your as part of

  your prep

  yeah I come out I say the lights are

  terrible and what these aren't where the

  chairs belong and you know move around

  and I'm like what the hell is this stack

  of cards i picked it up I guess in my

  throat and warming yeah you're that room

  was made for you

  yeah but then later I but later I saw

  the young woman picking up the cards God

  the kind of broken-hearted look on her

  face I was so I felt like I was such a

  villain would you recognize her if you

  saw her again

  mm I because i think i might I mean

  maybe if her face wasn't so pained the

  next time I saw her that maybe I


  well I think it's very unlikely that she

  will come to the show this year but if

  she were to come to the SF sketchfest

  performance of rock on the line and

  SwedishAmerican hall friday january

  eight from 730-9 p.m. in san francisco

  california now in central California

  should say that it's in a great area

  that's accessible by muni pretty safe

  it's near safeway and I don't see now if

  we know her name we can put on the list

  right see better feel of you can just

  say look for a lady with the pain look

  on her face is that most of our fans

  well I'm the thing is now that you've

  said that there were going to get like

  11 people that's like I'm lady will have

  them fight while the fight shirtless

  with sticks that neighborhood didn't

  used to be good that gas station on the


  yeah look yeah there's some pretty you

  get a lot of people that's a very

  interesting area cause it's kind of it's

  on the edge of the castro and kind of

  kind of get near duboce triangle a

  little bit it'sit's but yeah it's it's

  changed a lot they get the

  walgreens is way nicer now you know i

  love that you decide the quality of an

  area by how nice the walgreens don't

  decide anything I'm an observer alright

  okay that's right here's what I'm going

  to say though we have worked as I had

  time but first of all anybody who hasn't

  come please come please sell the place

  out otherwise you won't be as funny but

  if that lady does come there and

  approaches us uh I don't see that you

  apologize i will apologize to her and

  we'll try to do something nice for her

  yeah it will be very hard for me to

  apologize of course is it that's not

  part of my brand but you can do it it's

  a big city apology but listen I'm all

  I'm sorry you're upset I'm already

  talked about on two programs which is my

  way I mean that's worth like a well shit

  what is that worth

  I mean you apologized via sleepless

  nights I say I think that's probably

  worth 4 grand 4 grand worth of dollars

  now just by just by referring to it and

  saying that I've been fretting about

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  anyway I let's close this up by saying

  please uh SF sketchiest please let the

  sketchiest at a speech American also on

  Market Street words it was the exact

  address everything is where this is it

  Sanjay 2174 market street right in the


  it's kind of in the middle of a it's not

  exactly the castro its kind of the

  castro yes castro its courage

  yeah yeah but it's a it's a it's a great

  place and will be there doing yoga up

  comedy I also i guess i'm doing a thing

  with thrilling adventure hour and a very

  interesting thing I learned was good

  really adventure I just don't let

  something like doing that well you know

  it's one of those things where they quit

  doing and then we keep doing it

  he can't be stopped they write a lot of


  yeah that team akron black benz

  compulsive and one of these and he

  listened to our show you know that who

  Ben yeah man or the other bed the other

  bed does the the Big Ben Big Ben I get a

  lot of people listen to our show that

  people used to listen to our show

  I'm always surprised i want to kind of

  people used to listen to this show the

  number of people to continue to listen

  to our show you know and I think we're

  expanding into the billionaire class I

  you know we keep mentioning that now I

  feel like they've got a yeah they're

  putting it there putting us all over the

  overhead speakers their facebook now I'm

  just gonna say this and then I don't

  want to talk about it but I'm going to

  say this

  alright i keep noticing and we have a

  large trans audience is alright um yeah

  I maybe just cuz i notice it more but a

  I that makes me feel good I like that

  yeah i like to do you too I don't know

  why I mean it's just a cool thing and

  that's all just see more trans people

  that makes me happy right now I 2174

  Market Streets 51 degrees most exciting

  it feels like 51 degrees it's much nicer

  in san francisco today that it isn't

  Seattle are much warmer have some

  scattered light rain this morning

  does your mom know about forecast dot IO

  she wishes weather person right now yeah

  she follows the weather like like

  nobody's business forecast that is

  really cool because it use this thing

  this thing called dark sky where can

  actually tell you when it's gonna like

  when it's about to start raining and

  when it's going to stop dark sky was one

  of my favorite Grateful Dead songs don't

  do do do people do doop do I was the

  biggest hit against it and boot it was

  called Cooper do 1987a the skeletons in

  the video very end of their career or

  the the trailing off their career

  because the garden started their shitty

  career coming up to SF sketchiest it's a

  it's gonna be you you know you pile on

  so much and I i give you the Grateful

  Dead idea i say nothing

  you sit there on the internet and you

  say terrible things about bands and then

  I don't say anything I know and silent i

  just favorite AC news tweets and I said

  nothing you

  I know the thing is a lot of people

  think that I'm trolling when I go online

  and I say there's nothing good about the

  Smith you but I i am trolling first of

  all but yeah I and I'm trolling just

  with the biggest like most delighted

  smile on my face yeah but i but I know

  but it's also one hundred percent John

  doesn't know what he's talking about

  John doesn't know la la

  the thing about Morrissey is he only

  ever learned five notes

  mm and he utilized them in every melody

  of everything turns out your dick that

  but it's kind of true no no kind of any

  number of nodes allah i don't know every

  time you go after the smiths I imagine

  you are secretly are not secretly just

  trying to needle Shawn Nelson well colin

  Meloy to really course the barest miss


  yeah because that Colin also you know a

  lot of his melodies are within a range

  of a pretty narrow range but he Colin's

  melodies I like i think is the key is

  extruded violin columnar


  yeah I'm trying to I'm trying to pull

  I'm trying to pull the pigtails of a lot

  of how haha it and and i got i roped

  roped AC newman in and he was he was

  really mad he's back

  yeah hello he's changing his water

  filters but i don't but i do feel i do

  fit the thing is my sister listen to

  Duran Duran and the smiths compulsively

  during that era is you're obligated to

  not like them

  well no but here's the thing i heard

  that music through the wall in equal

  portions probably a little bit more and

  ram but Sharon sometimes Smith that's

  pretty cool

  well I mean it because if she's in

  Durand Durand but I wasn't later than

  1986 are always very early with so using

  this miss when they were still kind of

  your hope for sure because she was one

  of those platoons one of those almost

  famous type of children who was working

  at the coolest record store in Anchorage

  when she was like 13 man and she had

  just she waltzed in there and with that

  with that confidence that she has and

  she was like I'm working here now and

  the rest of the staff who were all in

  their twenties adopted her and suddenly

  she gone from this girl that was playing

  soccer in knee-high stripy socks to

  being somebody who had platinum hair

  with the and was wearing vintage thrift

  store dresses and working on the coolest

  record store in town I was like who the

  hell is she said I did you ever see any

  of your sister and your daughter I i

  feel like i see they got a lot of moxie

  but the other do they have a totally the

  somewhat similar kinds of moxie a ton of

  moxie and one of the things that very

  much surprises me when when when my kid

  was born I was like my sister is going

  to try and corrupt her constantly she's

  going to be over here to teaching her

  hip hop terminology and encouraging her

  to like become a skater and what it

  turned out is my sister is one of the

  one with the chief disciplinarians in my

  daughter's life she just my sister just

  Brooks no monkey business

  Wow and and so they have all these sort

  of you know they have a close

  relationship and they have all these


  attacks where where Susan is like listen

  you can't do that you can't get away

  with that here that's so great

  you sit up straight in your chair this

  type of thing and she listened

  om solutely because it's coming from

  Susan which is like you know she's she's

  just enough outside outside the the core

  machine that she can have she has the

  greater impact but you know I always had

  this fear that that Susan would be there

  like you know skater boys are the cutest

  boys right right

  you never know just seating just just

  sowing the seed of just I was your

  turkey wish i could collaborate more

  with the people who are slightly outside

  the core because they have the hugest

  impact you my brother-in-law and

  sister-in-law you know like my daughter

  adores them and and and like they're so

  influential in her village my daughter

  my daughter who only eats a couple

  things at home will try almost anything

  if auntie susie makes it soon and then

  like an a no and then she gets to watch

  100 movies with the f-word and stuff and

  like she gets to be growing up there and

  you know it's like I wish i wish i could

  see them certain ideas like hey would it

  be great if we brush our teeth without

  you know without be cool hey thumbs-up

  skater boy

  hey guys we put your retainers and

  that's awesome radical shaka-brah and

  shaka-brah yeah I didn't reach bra if i

  lived in san francisco i would be one of

  the people slightly outside of your core

  that had an enormous influence on your


  oh man but unfortunately i live far

  enough away that every time I come it's

  like Uncle John is here

  Oh like hide all the breakable things oh

  no well she left she loved the RV she

  thought it smelled kind of funny

  well I which she thinks everything

  smells funny but i noticed that i didn't

  notice that she's not a small thing but

  she really liked that she really wants

  all you can say we're getting a cat

  what yeah we should not talk about that

  at some point we're adopting a cat

  well so the reason the RV smells funny

  is that i routed the exhaust through the

  cabin her for performance issues yeah

  just that's right it just seemed like a

  shell pipe was superfluous to my needs

  and I got open carry laws you know you

  have all kinds should have an open

  beverage you know and you get a little

  bit of a little bit of the exhaust in

  there and comes down calms you down


  Shh you're not gonna make it over the

  mountains but Shh

  alright you're getting a cat yeah that

  seems uh I don't know I've never seen

  you to have a pet that's you know that's

  very interesting

  I i think in life well in life it's

  important to look at patterns of what

  people show interest in before you try

  to push them into things

  this is why I've never been a huge fan

  nothing against the Girl Scouts accepts

  an organization i love like we kind of

  pushed her into Girl Scouts without

  ain't she never had any interest in any

  girl scout things and she's so 100 a

  little bit against the Girl Scouts yeah

  you said nothing against the girl of

  course i did that's what you did the

  internet little bit of god there's no

  obstacle course to the worst

  oh my god it's the worst are you get a

  pass for selling cookies that's pretty

  weird but in this case she really really

  really has wanted a pet

  yeah and I i have been pretty adamant

  about this that you know this is not a

  toy like all the toys that you open and

  play with for a minute and put away

  because you know the phone is opening

  not actually caring for enjoying

  collecting yeah that ain't gonna work

  with an animal you know setting aside

  you know all of the money that it takes

  to have a pet that I don't matter how

  many ppl account for until it's too late

  you're expected to have surgeries for

  your animals nowadays yeah you know

  about this right now you spend sixty

  thousand dollars keeping some dumb

  14-year old cat alive

  it's like you know what right i made

  into the Soylent Green Machine we won't

  even notice the fur

  I couldn't agree more it's like another

  certain kinds of things I don't need and

  one of them is a catalyst for a very

  very very long

  the cabinet's blind and smells bad and

  it didn't bones and it's like I had

  friends who love their pets so much a

  friend who had this incredibly senile

  angry blind deaf incontinent dog and

  this dog would just walk around the

  house periodically barking at nothing

  bump into something and shit yeah blood

  the market it's not just go half

  I dated a girl who decided

  in her infinite wisdom that the

  additional dog that she needed in a disk

  in addition to her shih tzu was a great

  dane 02 see that that's like buying a

  bunny an Easter like to know what you're

  in for the Great Dane so she bought she

  gots not a beginner dog she rescued a

  Great Dane who was i think already nine

  which is already two years older than

  any great dane should live and she and

  this dog was lovely

  I mean it just a delightful creature one

  of what a God shined upon this dog i

  really liked the dog but she let the

  dogs sleep in her bed I had the dog wage

  400 pounds it was the size of a horse

  know they are there and I I every great

  day and I have met personally was great

  and call but I mean my sense is that I

  mean obviously is true for things like

  police dogs or shooting guard dogs but

  there are certain kinds of dogs that a

  lot of people think oh you know I like

  that dog from Frasier but like if you

  get one of those one of those little

  Jack Russell terriers

  look man they are there there's pugs pug

  super sweet but they want all the

  attention all the time or an australian

  shepherd I mean you they will be heard


  the only reason to have an australian

  shepherd is if you have a sheet problem

  or like a like a border collie like they

  will hurt your coffee table they can't


  yeah I do personally have a sheep

  problem always breaking an infestation

  yeah but I still don't need a bios don't

  need one of those I just died i call

  them with a helicopter this episode of

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  here's the thing about that great thing

  is that she she left the Great Dane

  sleep in her bed and then the great

  things started to shift the bed oh god

  now but she's already made it ok to be


  that's right so she's cleaning up great

  dane shit what which I mean I don't know

  if you've ever seen a Great Dane take a

  shit copious but it yeah it's like it's

  like shitting out a printing press later

  about me to fuck

  it's like a 3d printer for fix yeah Wow

  and angel maker just like oh you know

  and she spent the whole day cleaning it

  up and then and then climb in bed with

  her night and it would all happen again

  and I was just like what dingaling he

  sleep in there doesn't he know doesn't

  he know from pooping and bad think that

  he's just so old that he doesn't know he

  just does its not under his power and I

  was like us in this this great dane

  could feed a family of four from month

  just send him to the hamburger machine

  and she was just like you

  there's a reason you're not my boyfriend

  anymore you are a monster here okay so

  here's here's a life hack

  yeah are you ready yeah I'm ready I mean

  I know that you are generally receptive

  to my life hacks but this is a major

  ones I love life hacks i went to a

  christmas party that's thrown by my good

  friend Cal and last year at the

  Christmas party he had a camel and a


  and the kids all get camel rides always

  let's get friendly

  yeah and or drunk it's not a classic

  donkey show not a classic no it's not

  it's not a tijuana donkey show

  it's a happy donkey show and the kids

  all wait they line up the guy that owns

  the camels and donkeys a great kind of a

  rancher type guy and all the kids ride

  the the donkey and the camera while the

  adults get drunk and eat chili itself

  and its energy creates a Christmas Eve

  party that he has every year and it's a

  fantastic something for everybody

  yeah that's right get drunk eat chili

  and forget about the kids because they

  are all patiently waiting in line to

  ride a camel even the terrible kids are

  willing to wait in line to ride a camel

  but in the in the intervening year the

  camel died and so everybody's going to

  Calais christmas party expected i picked

  there are not a lot of camels available

  you can't just go just go replace a

  camel I don't think you go to pets

  petsmart Campbell so the so the camera

  is not going to be there and we're all

  like what's going to happen I mean the

  donkey is great he's a super nice donkey

  but that's going to put it going to put

  extra pressure on the donkey spray and

  and also you know the goal of the of the

  passes to distract the kids so the

  adults can get drunk and chili yeah so

  the rancher shows up this year he's got

  the donkey he also brought to Wallabies

  and a kv what is that

  well so this is the life hacks ok v is a

  giant a guinea pig I katie is a giant

  guinea pig that looks like you cross the

  guinea pig with the deer home so it's

  how you spell that

  see avy huh so so I get there and I'm

  like oh my god it looks like a jack

  rabbit guinea pig wallaby

  yeah that's right so I'm better at is

  really cute and weird with the Wallabies

  at first because you know they're cute

  to mail a letter recognizable and I'm

  looking over at this kv which is big

  it's the size of a dog

  but it's a guinea pig dear jack rabbit

  I'm like that's it what does that little

  creature so so I the Wallabies are kind

  of you know skittish and you can pet him

  for a little bit but they then they do

  that weird little hop walk that

  kangaroos and wallabies do they kind of

  yeah we're done here

  mallorca from there somewhere else and

  so I go and I start and nobody's paying

  any attention to the KP like the kids

  are all thinking about the Wallabies but

  i'm looking at this guy and he's in the

  photos they look kind of anxious

  well they do they look a little poised

  right poised to to flee that they

  definitely look like prey

  yeah but this guy was in was incredibly

  chill like so chill and so I'm i start

  petting him and he responds very well to

  being petted and we just get this

  symbiosis going so that I step into the

  enclosure and then I'm like don't ever

  take this kv away from me this all kb is

  a very good friend so I go over to the

  eventually when when the KP is like

  communicating to me like let's take a


  I get out of there and I go over and

  talk to the ranch again I'm like what's

  up with this kv and he's like oh my god

  they're amazing

  we bottle-fed that one and it lives in

  the house that's crazy lives in the

  house he's like that's like a cuddly a

  little pal I'm he said don't put them

  outside because they can dig out of

  anything you could they can dig 14 feet

  down go under offense

  wow they can dig under a pipeline of

  foragers right there you know

  vegetarians anyway and i was like so I

  set so i said so you're telling me that

  I kb you can get a kayvyun you can keep

  it as a pet he's like oh yeah they're

  like they're like hoppy cats

  it's a cap that hops and I said that's

  the pet for me Katy a short tail is a

  new project short-tailed rough haired

  south american road

  oh yeah I'm taking this medication still

  yes sure

  and I don't think I've made a bad

  decision sense and I feel like kv a kb a

  pet kv yeah is a way to get into the pet


  but without all the cat you know cat is

  just gonna think about it now that I say

  the word cat before

  yeah for you heard about a kb you said

  the word cat we both like okay sure but

  now post kb the Patagonian mara it's

  also known as its accents you got in

  South America and it is really freaky

  but cool lookin it's very cool and

  they're very very soft soft kv little

  soft kb that wants to kind of curl up

  with you on the couch on and they're

  monogamous that's nice

  oh that's right they mate for life like

  swans like swans it's like basically the

  Swan of guinea pigs

  whoo-hoo and it's the force looks like a

  different animal from every angle

  yeah that's the fourth largest rodent in

  the world now that makes me happy bear

  is that Rodin capybaras also sort of a a

  rodent Habanera i'm not sure if a

  capybara would be a good pet though now

  I've seen this is the zoo and man they

  are pretty freaky looking at look at

  that looks prehistoric but a kv now

  what's involved in kv ownership even

  look at me look at this has gotten onto

  the usenet online forums to find out

  about this

  no you know that's not my tendency know

  my tendency is just to go get a case

  write a check brake is set and then and

  then once i have a KPI will learn i will

  learn the hard way for myself all the

  all the things I mean if he can he wants

  to dig under a pipeline to escape

  I wonder how they are with your

  upholstery alright

  the captain's very gonna try on maybe

  you should just rent one for a week and

  see how it goes

  that's a good idea the thing is i pad

  just like your daughter part of the

  thrillers unwrapping the baby kv yes

  your bottle feeding them until they bond

  with you and feel like I don't want to

  dig out of here I want to dig you

  I think you're getting this loser kid at

  that party that you get to meet the kv

  she did but she was more interested in

  the donkey and that's understandable

  because you can't ride a kv donkeys are

  such an interesting sighs if they were

  much bigger much smaller they wouldn't

  be as interesting they're very

  interesting size m because you don't use

  it without the well we have a kind of a

  pending by the petting zoo but then it

  has like a pen around of stuff that you

  can just look at the donkeys are always

  very interesting-looking to me

  got to me too there you know and they're

  very Hardy yes you can you can go you

  can go down to the grand canyon with


  yeah did you know a cab American rate

  can weigh a hundred pounds and grow to

  be four feet long

  is that right a hundred pounds it's a

  great it's bigger than you think and

  wasn't carrying one of those ones they

  thought was extinct but then they found

  him again

  look at that rock LOL you should look at

  this John rock cavies Rockies are so


  let me see what took a rock cavies the

  client Brazil and they are very furry

  lookin rock easily more like more

  prairie dogs all look at the Rockies i

  will be such a great super genius

  supervillain sit in the chair pet in one

  of those that's exactly what I'm saying

  exactly what I'm saying you got you got

  a rodent that mates for life so you get

  a mom and pop rock kv yeah they sit in

  your lap and you pet them whilst explain

  it to James Bond how you're going to

  you're gonna take him limb from limb

  huh some pedophilic behavior has also

  been displayed with adult male escorting

  juvenile males so they groom the Rockies

  it's been observed I think it's a great

  idea I think you need a project

  well no but I'm suggesting this I mean

  think about this what if you and I both

  had rock kb's then that that only were

  like friends

  well I'm and it's sort of like super

  genius super super spooky genius action

  that just look at your a look at your

  phone look at the photos i sent all

  right you get an idea what we're in for

  here look at this thing you know you've

  already picked out a cap

  oh no we're all about Octavio know it's

  a known cat it's a it's a great setup

  all the way around it's a known great

  cat you see that um let's see here it

  looks it looks kinda like something dust

  with you go to war with the cap that you

  have not kept that's right that Donald

  Rumsfeld on cats

  oh my goodness this cat is absolutely

  like a Swifter or or that thing my mom

  uses to take dust-up the top of the land

  a cat it's a it's a it's a Persian cat

  with a little smash face and it just

  sits in your lap me Pettitte

  what's a smash face cat see these people

  have three or four cats and they have

  one cat they refer to as the bad cat the

  name of the cat is bad cat

  I'm glad cat is mean to this cat and so

  this cat needs a place to live it's the

  sweetest cat in the world and so we're

  gonna get next month

  oh you can see that it's a sweet cat

  because it's kind of hunkered down like

  it's afraid of the eagle is gonna grab


  yeah it's got that look yeah i'm just

  like please don't place that we can put

  in the Eagles look at that face you see

  that face i do see that face

  it's a very nice pace i mean it has that

  it has that quality that small dogs have

  where you're not sure what their that

  the the one we be eyes are causing the

  discoloration and they don't know what

  that it's whether you know the thing

  about little dogs where it's like I

  don't know like poodles poodles get this

  brown deer to put spaces like are you

  sweating or over are your eyes your eyes

  have extra matter i don't know why that

  happens leaking out lolz brown eyes

  yeah I find kind of off-putting oh they

  call that a polite to your stains

  delight ear sting but they were great

  you ever update i'll love them there's a

  smiths they're here to proceed are

  utilized for that to your state's or

  uh-oh more bets

  that's for sure mmm your pets pets for

  short as a common troubling issue in

  which the hairs around the dog's eyes

  become discolored look

  ya knows it could have been one or both

  eyes but you would like to your stains

  what causes things what constitutes

  you're staying here students develop

  over time and there are several reasons

  why this occurs this is great writing

  for some poodles more than one of the

  causes will be at the root of the cock

  problem haha ok go on Wikipedia writer

  no that's not this is a small poodle better even better look good

  with your edited it could be it could be

  a red yeast infection could be a tear

  duct tissue an ear infection could be

  teething stuff for the water could be

  artificial coloring and food

  I don't want any of that explanation

  know that I want one explanation for

  your pets

  yeah good light ear stating is a result

  of poodles having bad dreams

  I think struggle i would tell you that's

  muscular riding bad that's right yeah

  put a lot polite you're standing as a


  bad dreams and pools omit needless words

  um so anyway that's happening and you

  have any updates on the RV still

  pondering so that time you know you're

  one sorry you're in the moment you're

  not thinking about right

  no I can't I can't continue to be in the

  mode of not thinking about it because

  the man the RV the guy that is storing

  the RV is giving me the very very

  friendly but firm voice when he talked

  to me on the phone which is yes we

  agreed that you can keep it here until

  until februari but that is contingent on

  you getting mixed here on you moving


  yeah he doesn't what I mean I'm guessing

  he doesn't want to hear on january 31st

  is oh sorry i'll come pick it up in a

  week or so right and that and that

  worries me because you know what I don't

  want is for him to suddenly say like

  well if you want it then you have to pay

  me 100 dollars a day for storage right

  Tom and we did we have no agreement

  about that and there's nothing I don't

  think keeping him from doing that and in

  the probably with the reading cops or

  the reading sheriff's office it would be

  harder for me to negotiate with them

  then this guy who's like I put a lien on

  the vehicle and now you have to come to

  the reading courthouse know sometimes so

  uh so I but I'm not accusing this guy of

  that in advance but it just feels like

  he is saying he sent me some paperwork

  today is like well fill out this

  application for a napa no interest car

  repair loan and we'll just get right on

  it you can give me fifteen hundred

  dollar deposit tomorrow

  he's good he's moving right and so you

  can play them i'm talking to other

  people on the on the black list it's

  already going to be very hard for me to

  go down there and here's the crazy thing

  the the transmission was throwing chunks

  for sure but it wasn't

  I've I've run a transmission out of a

  vehicle to the point where it wouldn't

  go into gear and wouldn't move because

  the transmission had disintegrated who

  this thing never stopped running under

  its own power

  it was thrown smoke everywhere

  but there's a part of me that's like

  yeah everybody that looks at it says it

  needs a new transmission it surely does

  but will this transmission get it to

  seattle that is it something that none

  of us have addressed and if the thing

  was in seattle i could i would have that

  six months of you know of time to gear


  so this is figures into your decision

  making but it doesn't help with his need

  to get an answer

  yeah and if I say to him hey what are

  the possibilities of me just making it

  home limping at home he's gonna say he's

  it that's gonna change our relationship

  yep he he wants you to come back with

  something decisive you want you to come

  back with get started with work on this

  and i'll pay what it costs or I'm coming

  to get it tonight

  right right and you know and because he

  doesn't want to be you know my dad I'm a

  long way away and you know he's in he's

  in reading where you know the thing

  about about cathedrals yeah you can get

  to be a you can have a detrimental with

  this is you think you have to be in a

  city to have a cathedral

  oh interesting that's not what i was

  saying but yeah that's uh no idea that

  you told me this right

  I didn't think you do have to be well

  you have to be a yeah township or Lord

  ship or a or a sailing ship tama

  cathedral ok but I know what I'm saying

  about cathedrals is the reason the

  cathedrals and and old architectures so

  beautiful is that it was built at a time

  when labor was cheap and material was

  expensive oh now that's true yeah so you

  have these guys and it was like well

  this is this it

  it took a lot to get this stone here but

  it didn't take a lot to get you Italian

  stone carver so I spend some time making

  this stone look pretty

  yeah with your little cherubims and your

  car gore gargoyle limbs

  mhm and and now we have the problem of

  materials being cheap because they're

  all made out of glue and wood shavings

  right but we have made labor very

  expensive so it's like oh we

  got all this garbage lumber and garbage

  particle board but the you know the

  Carpenters are getting paid

  thirty-five dollars an hour so let's

  just throw this thing up as fast as we

  can right well in Redding California

  there's one thing I know which is that

  property is cheap not super cheap it's

  not like you can move to reading anymore

  and just by 40 acres right in the center

  of town and have a sheet problem

  yeah but so this guy if this RV was

  sitting at an RV place in downtown

  Seattle they would be like we need every

  square inch

  get your damn RV out of here by tomorrow

  but in reading discs i could Cisco could

  stack rvs for a year right so so in a

  way he is creating a false sense of

  urgency because it's just like you know

  what push that thing out to the back of

  but the back 40 and forget it's there

  yeah i mean but I'm he's been pretty

  cool what you think I do think he's been

  cool i do think he's been cool but yeah

  I needed dad right now he's like listen

  son just relax take the winter to think

  about it there's no one there's no way

  I'm going to be able to tow it anywhere

  I can't tell it to san francisco anyone

  to see us certainly thought of this but

  he is there any chance you could get a

  little help from the black list in the

  internet to find a place where you could

  store it for a couple months and it'll

  just be down to getting it towed

  somewhere that's not costly and with

  that's him or somewhere else

  you at least have a little bit of leeway

  to think about this without all the


  well that's a good question Merlin and

  you know what I'm going to get I'm gonna

  get on the phone this afternoon you've

  just inspired in front of me no know

  that there's a guy let's just call him

  let's just call him what he is here I

  his name is Greg birch he's a dentist

  oh yeah great keep email me yeah great

  birch the dentist who has a pretty

  famous family member that's right who

  had whose grandfather was the birch who

  was sort of like one of the head dudes

  at the GMC RV how important was it John

  he was very important he designed the he

  designed an aftermarket screen door

  he's so important he was important that

  that the 23 inch

  that the 23 inch

  I'm sorry 23-foot version of the GMC RV

  is called is named after him for

  children it's called the burger chain

  and the they made much fewer 23-foot rvs

  than 26-foot rvs but one of them is

  named after the man for children so

  great birch who lives up in Northern

  northwestern Washington and has a

  thriving dental practice there he's been

  very helpful in my GM cr-v odyssey he's

  a he's a young guy the rare young GMC RV

  owner and dentist and dentist and legacy

  and so he wrote me yesterday texted me

  even that he said listen I've been

  talking a mani and I think we might have

  a plan

  so when i get off the phone with you I'm

  gonna call great birch he's gonna he's

  probably going to leave some patient in

  a chair with suction happening on is

  especially be right back

  just that you know just closed and spit

  and I'll be right back and he's going to

  sit and walk around the dental office

  talking to me on the phone and saying

  here's the plan i cooked up with Manny I

  don't know what that plan is going to be

  man is a little bit crazy you know he's

  talking about when he tell you I met me

  now Manny is a guy who bought who did by

  10 acres of land in a san jose

  california back when you could buy 10

  acres of land in san jose for $15,000

  well and his 10 acres is way up the hill

  to the east of san jose and has a

  panoramic view of san jose california

  which now as you know is part of the

  part of the silicon valley family of

  towns and he sits up there in his like

  in his eagles nest

  and works on GMC RVs and who knows if i

  lived up there I would shoot flaming

  crossbows down into this crossbow bolts

  down into san jose every night but I

  don't think he does but he does have you

  know he's got this this very strange

  ranch campus up there is a compound it's

  very it is a compound i would say it has

  it has it has a gate probably shouldn't

  say too much

  no no so he's up there and he's and he

  rebuilds gmcr RV transmissions my

  impression is just for the fun of it

  Wow um like a lot of these gmcr be

  people you ask them what they did and

  they're like oh I was a you know an

  aeronautical engineer and I was a test

  pilot for Boeing and or whatever and now

  i read that i restore these turbo 400

  transmission in my garage but you know I

  don't want anything I don't want

  anything out of them and I sell them for

  a thousand bucks just to cover my costs

  like huh that's weird I mean have you

  even seen Downton Abbey I mean how

  why is this relaxing but I but it is


  yeah so Manny but you know I went up to

  mannys place and the first thing ma'am

  he said was a disarming is a piece of

  junk who I was like nine out of ten

  people nine out of ten old guys that I

  talk to about it said all you got a good

  deal but man he says a piece of garbage

  and I'm like well thanks Manny

  why do you say that and then he walked

  me over to his GM cr-v which he had

  built with he'd built with pullouts with

  like slide outs in the style of a new RV

  he gutted the interior and built it all

  this is that that's his real like labor

  of love

  yeah he's like one of these guys that

  wants to update the GMC RV to make it a

  space capsule and I'm like well I want

  to I want to keep it stock like original

  to the seventies and he got a look on

  his face like I had said I want to fill

  it with fucking sheep dip and I want to

  live inside of it naked and piss on


  he was like why the fuck would you want

  to keep it original like she was

  offended right and I said this is a

  classic rift in the

  in the blacklist community i believe it

  is and i think that most of them are

  older people who want their GMC rvs to

  continue to be contemporary ok which

  means a lot of that weird RV upholstery

  that's like big flowers or like and and

  new furniture and new lighting

  yeah sure and I'm like nah nah man its

  vintage I wanted to look like somebody's

  rec room from 1974 like i wanna i wanna

  fuckin have a shag carpet in a round bed

  and they're just offended by it they

  just feel like that's so go show its

  ghosh its counter to their their

  aeronautical engineering background

  because blah blah blah

  yeah and so anyway so i know to feel I

  know to discount somewhat his feeling

  that my RV is junk because he looks at

  things like that's like old it's just

  it's a stock it hasn't been updated but

  I but it did get inside my head

  his comment so that i'm walking around

  and I'm discounted the nine out of ten

  dentists surveyed who feel like

  sugarless gum is there their

  recommendation for patients who come who

  I've got this one dentist that's like

  not fucking sugar gum and so when I

  think about repairing the RV I'm like

  maybe it's a piece of junk maybe man is

  right so maybe the the other four five

  dentists are being supportive

  mmm being nice because that's how you

  rolling on the blacklist

  yeah they're being nice or they're being

  just you know they're just they're doing

  that old man mechanic thing where

  they're like well it's up to you

  uh-huh you go look my RV is on fire

  should I put it out there like well

  that's up to you and you know that's a

  personal decision like no give me some

  advice here the gear you've got 11 of

  these tell me what I should do well you

  know you can either save it or not

  well looks like your cars are far it's

  like rock you give me a give me like a

  little piece of fatherly advice right

  and these are the same guys that you

  know that's what exactly what they say

  to their sons to they kicked him out of

  the nest and they're like well better

  secret swim

  huh anyway so that's the update and I'm

  still you know i'm still still pawn over

  and I'm still thinking about what

  whether or not i got a lot of responses

  last week from people who listened to

  last week's podcast expressed a lot of

  respect for our opinion are for our

  feelings about crowdsourcing and then

  ultimately said but you're nuts

  please accept our money please take my

  money or whatever it is that they say


  and so I'm still considering some

  version of that

  oh wait nevermind


  I have been setting up Marlon an ebay

  store I've been setting up an ebay

  students amazing and now right

  I've never done this before i'm setting

  up an ebay store you're gonna tell your

  stories and I'm gonna tell so i'm going

  to tell some stories about some coats

  and pants and boots and then I'm gonna

  I'm gonna put those codes pants and

  boots for sale up to the people and say

  listen here's a coat

  here's the story of it mhm here's my

  opinion about this coat here my feelings

  about it

  basically you buy the story comes with

  the coat and you can eat a bit on it or

  not the the starting starting price is

  going to be 0 or 99 cents or whatever

  like it's it's pure auction know kind of

  reserved and you can just go to town on

  it some of these items I've worn for

  years some of them are are are pieces

  that I've had in my in my collection and

  Warren periodically and I might even I

  might even everyone's want to sell one

  of my dad's shirts

  this is very interesting John because my

  dad's shirts don't actually fit me and

  I've worn them for years and always kind

  of tugged at the collar shirt tucked up

  the cuffs because they're just sort of

  an inch or even a half an inch too small

  in every direction and so it's like I'm

  gonna sit on these insisted on these dad

  shirts until what my daughter grows up

  and doesn't know how how are you gonna

  do the fulfillment

  well i'm making a commitment to apply

  that i'm going to get a kv I'm gonna get

  a kv and i'm going to actually mail

  these things to people you know I'm not

  gonna put I'm not gonna put 400 things

  up there at first I'm just going to put

  20 things babies baby steps see what

  people think you'll find at least one of

  the that's a real dinner though you

  should put up one that's gonna be the

  one that everybody talks about links to

  well just don't you think you need one

  like Marky anchor item

  well this is that I mean there are so

  many right I like I'm putting up my

  leather jacket that i bought in high

  school that I wore to Soundgarden's bad

  motor fingers just the water liquid

  paper on it

  let's get the liquid paper on it you're

  kidding Soundgarden's a bad motor

  fingers of LP release party both of them

  there were two parties i went to both

  I've seen you know I've seen David Yau

  and his his spectacular band the David

  Yao's yet have jesus lizard jesus lizard

  thank you have seen you know I saw babes

  in toyland really racist or pretend

  racist now I think he's pretend races

  okay i still have not a bit i need to

  get that out there might be a bit i mean

  you know he takes his dick out on stage

  he did liquid paper you know some of the

  liquid paper has been liquid paper gets

  brittle over the years John well some of

  it has been painted over a with white

  paint pen and then some and then that

  felt like too much so some of that was

  painted over with indelible black pen

  here curator so there's there's white on

  it there's old white on it there's a

  there's and then there's black there's

  there's black on it

  if this jacket has been through

  everything with me but it just isn't

  just not gonna it's not gonna go all the

  way to my death and partly it's because

  it's too big

  the jackets too big it's always been too

  big it's a 48

  Wow jacket that I got as a 48 at the

  time because the two women in that

  yeah i thought i was gonna I thought I

  was gonna wear a bunch of a big a Irish

  fisherman sweater under my black leather

  motorcycle jacket and you know that ends

  up being yes if i was going to if I was

  gonna work on the deck of a cross the

  Pacific freighter maybe i would need

  that much for bulletproof protection but

  I've never had never taken that job so

  anyway so that is you know that's one

  that's one item that's going up there

  but is that more is that more of a of a

  of a tentpole item then like one of my

  dad's shirts that says Roderick honored

  on the on the tail where his dry cleaner

  wrote his name in my heart I don't know

  you're going to decide what you need

  some kind of fish food you know that

  look at cycling like an auction house to

  do you need one really big guy we got

  you know here's Elizabeth Taylor's


  right right right right knee like some

  you need some Taylor pants hmm what's it

  gonna be what's it gonna be you know

  you'll get you'll get it but I i will

  continue say as I've said you off there

  because i love you just get the

  infrastructure right that's the hardest


  so that's the thing I'm you know this is

  what we have a soul bells yet because

  the year the fulfillment in fulfillment

  sometimes these things up i'm ironing

  them i'm taking photographs of them and

  then my my senses that i'm just going to

  get those priority mail envelopes and

  i'm going to put more boxes i'm gonna

  just put the stuff in the boxes and put

  little post-it notes on it that tells me

  what's in the box

  this is the code for this is the boot

  and then they'll all be stacked they're

  pretty boxed and when they sell i'll

  just all have to do is just write the

  name on it and then take it to the post

  office they're telling the story on a

  card now be kind of cool

  wow that's an extra step but that's well

  yeah but that's what you're selling your

  selling the story on a card that's what

  makes it artisanal isn't it

  oh absolutely you can't have small batch

  cards mmm

  type it up in the car but maybe i'll use

  my cursive typewriter which I i hardly

  ever get a chance to do I like a corset

  typewriter got a cursive but i think i

  think if you found especially it's an

  old index cards and typed up a paragraph

  on the item i think now you get yourself

  us to do you think I don't have a stack

  of old index cards you because i don't

  have a house train your ID on him a

  shoebox full of index cards that are in

  a minute discontinued sighs the eastern

  better cards are not three by five three

  and a half by five and a half

  oh my goodness let's go out

  yeah yeah the only the only file

  cabinets that can they can hold them are

  all made of oak so what's your time

  frame on this

  well so my ebay name is Morgan rides

  free all one word

  morgan writes free ok because because my

  middle name is Morgan as you know and

  when I was a teenager and I was hopping

  freight trains I realized that all the

  hobos had little tags that they wrote on

  the trains to indicate that schooling on

  the trains and John Hodgman kind of blew

  this up with his you know 500 OBO names

  yeah but you know hobo names were things

  that they actually kind of scroll door

  sometimes like scratched into the rust

  of of of freight trains to you know to

  communicate with each other and to just

  say like Kilroy Was Here right sure

  and so I needed something like that but

  I was 17 and I was like it was a

  dangling and I was like what's my hobo

  name and I didn't and I couldn't decide

  thing is I feel like your hobo name is

  something that your fellow hobos

  bequeath to you or or or bestow upon how

  you don't choose a name you earn it

  i'm not sure i have i tried to the best

  I could avoid other hobos because it

  seemed like they were predators and I

  was just a boy

  oh it's just that we're back to the big

  rock candy mountain now

  mmm grooming so I didn't want to be

  groomed you will be greeted by a hobo

  i dunno if I'm gonna bring by a homo i

  know i know it's yeah there's candy in

  the mountains follow me follow me follow


  ya see that if I heard that music on kxi

  and John Tesh told me it was from 1950 i

  would fucking believe it i would be like

  are like that's something in my throat I

  go back to choke in any case i I'm so

  more morgan rides free and fr your

  interview got that good good feedback

  great buyer prompt payment valued

  customer highly recommended

  yes either you go boom boom boom morgan

  writes free was my hobo name shortened

  shortly to Murph oh oh it's a with an


  yeah or I know acronym acronym person to

  deal with a plus i think it should

  probably been morph fast player

  yeah but like the comparative history of

  ideas always called it called itself kid

  and it really should have been chod well

  jotter or shud chod chod childhood but

  like the new yorker diuresis over it

  showed to mr. Joe owed Joe code bitch

  oh um so I'm so Murph with my stupid

  stupid its joke and it's just stupid

  jokes up here we are

  I got was this the other day Emily news

  bomb was writing a review of the

  jennifer jones television program who

  and she referred to jonathan coulton

  lyrics as though Jonathan Coulton was a

  universally understood contemporary

  music reference she just played it off


  she's just like all that Jennifer Jones

  kinda reminds me of the lyrics to

  Jonathan Colton's mad scientist story

  Skullcrusher mountain and then she's

  quoted a long passage of his lyrics and

  I read this thing and she was making all

  kinds of references to the internet to

  like insider internet kinda talk the the

  whole sjw a like yeah you know she's

  keeping up she's on the fortune and i'm

  reading I'm reading this thing and I'm

  like who the fuck is the audience for

  this it's like she's writing it's like

  it's like she thinks that I em the em

  right up the middle of who the new

  yorker readers are right and then I got

  a cold chill and once you realize the

  call is coming from inside you that's

  right i am you are mister mister chose

  the new yorker is actually now designed

  for us for you it's very yeah like Latin

  of I know

  oh my goodness that's true and so my

  whole life I have thought of the new

  yorker reader as this personally old

  Tweety fop yeah who has a lot of

  pictures on the top of his p.m. and i

  get a lot of right and maybe it maybe a

  Tony Award yeah like on a shelf

  somewhere and he's sitting there

  absent-mindedly tinkling on the piano

  and and reading The New Yorker and now I

  realize that no you're you're right up

  the middle New Yorker reader is a guy

  with the GMC RV is considering buying a