Ep. 190: "Omertà of the Sea"
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this episode of rock on the line is
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sponsored by cards against humanity they
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asked us not to read an ad so hey enjoy
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hello hi John hi Merlin how's it going
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good all right stay up super duper how
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great let's wrap it up alright how many
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times when I'm talking about
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do-do-do-do-do thanks for tuning in
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again yeah thanks for coming to our
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normally complain about stuff like that
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we are super good right now we've got
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you know what wouldn't be finding that
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would be funny if we just had a week
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where everything was okay
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yeah how we imagine that any measure you
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know what nothing intolerable nothing I
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know it's I've got worse and worse
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months everybody was driving fine
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yep anything about Hitler one on the
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weigh-in today I passed you know there's
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a small traffic jam but not one that I
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was upset about because the the source
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of it was that a cop it pulled over a
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lime green lamborghini diablo oh that's
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and everybody else looks slow down to
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see it and I was like yeah of course of
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oh my god said that person who whoever
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paid for that car probably got to choose
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from many many colors
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well yeah many many colors mean that
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they'll say let's see I mean you had one
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black and yellow red white
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ok but let's assume even you get three
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colors oh and you pick lime-green that's
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just you know that way you talk about a
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fuck you to everybody
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mhm did you notice i'm driving a
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Lamborghini Diablo did you notice man
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oh then that's a nice car to get pulled
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over and it's very luxurious well you
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know I can't imagine that you would ever
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get out of first gear in it in town and
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if you were the type of person that
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would drive one around town like that's
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the thing about a car like that right
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you know driving around town you drive
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it you get out of town you take it out
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on this number to say but the call was
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that with the road you going in Germany
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the steinberger said the rash tag the
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mainspring some wrangle the right gold
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there goes the recycle the original
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the ring shot at the nürburgring in
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nürburgring nürnberg yeah I have a
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couple friends who've driven on the nerd
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bird nürburgring our friend Marco Marco
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has driven on the Nurburgring in his m7
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tourism niners m12 yeah it's pretty nice
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guy i'm giving you believe it's a pretty
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nice car you never been in it
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no I I mean I don't even know that we
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need to address or something like that
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uh-huh I think they probably probably
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she wear something like inside-out
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sweatpants something that wouldn't want
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more of the seats i'm guessing
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inside-out sweatpants maybe a little
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sheep skin like ask chap that strips
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yeah you know everybody says oh assless
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chaps and then all the put the pendants
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early Ferb but what about it just a
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straight-up just that just the missing
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part of said it just lets it down at all
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like yeah like a little just little ass
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ass infront felt like maybe you don't
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want though the weight and performance
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characteristics of full-on chaps maybe
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you just want the part where you're
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asking normally stick out maybe you're
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modest you want to go to a parade and
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ride on the float but you don't want
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your butt cheeks out there
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yeah chaps are meant if you're on a
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horse who and your horse brushes up
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against another horse or a cow or a
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fence a with your horses want to do
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right horse is trying to knock you off
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as best they can John they're doing the
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best they can and if they see a
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low-hanging branch or a cow
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they're going to get up on it and hope
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that they can knock you off and that's
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why you have chaps on right to keep your
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pant legs from getting a braided or
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something I don't know why you wear
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chaps frankly I but there's lots of
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reasons I mean sorta like you're
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describing it's like so like why you
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would wear gloves there's all kinds of
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things you're gonna encounter that could
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take a chunk out of you brush let's say
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brush probably a lot of brushes by very
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coarse point yet parts pointy brush but
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what is the equivalent if you're riding
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around in marco arment m5 it you don't
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you need to protect the car
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uh-huh and so you have some sheepskin
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reverse chaps which I guess we're just
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going to call ass chaps right over or
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he's a loincloth chaps yeah yeah I think
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well except you don't want it on the
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side you want to be cool and breezy on
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the side you're not touching the car on
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the side just wanted you wanted in the
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back you wanted in the back to took to
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give a nice buff to the leather seats
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and not too much it's not too much to
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I don't know why you wanted in the front
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just for us a comfortable place to
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yeah I don't you want to look at
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somebody's while you're driving around
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in your BMW exactly exactly right so
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it's more of a it's like a ass
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it's a it's a it's a it's like a
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polishing rag on the bottom i get a
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modesty skirt on the front like Elega i
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yeah okay great name for a BMW by the
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way the burqa yeah we tried the new be
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taken out on this time Steinberg
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instruction so you're gonna get letters
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yeah i sure am I sure I wasn't gonna ask
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you about yes you get the Germans get
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Marc Armand over here i'll copy up ya
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know soon as soon as you've been
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traveling yeah I've done a lot of
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traveling I'm not done yet because as
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you know the life of an artist is the
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life of an eternal vacation basically
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I've just been on a I've just been on
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two major warm-weather vacations and now
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I'm going on a on a lengthy ski trip
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it's it i can't defend it
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really yeah i don't i don't produce
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anything worthwhile for the world right
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I'm yui marking don't feel like you need
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to defend that John I'm like a game
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designer except they don't even design
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yeah it's true he has much value though
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right i mean you know what we write his
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paper hat my daughters like that a
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favorite video game right now is a game
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where you stare at this same area of a
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backyard of a house and try to make cats
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I'm doing what you would never do in
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real life right and so the answer your
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way for cats to come and then you try to
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track the cats and then that gives you
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the opportunity i don't exactly
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understand claim to understand the game
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i know it is primarily about collecting
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cats you get like pictures of them and
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stuff but then also when you I think
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your reward for attracting cats it is
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you're given the opportunity to buy buy
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goods virtual goods inside the game that
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enables you to attract more cats
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oh sure sure she loves it uh-uh I'm
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wondering now that you say this I've
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always been very curious about
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oh yeah because they're out here i think
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it was a cover up front for something
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well yeah me too but but the more I look
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into it the more it seems that they are
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just out for watching Birds gathering
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gather it was what they're gathering
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having watched a bird collecting the
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experience of having seen a bird
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yeah and different birds so they're like
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did you ever have you ever seen a
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spotted throated warboss yeah sure
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though the third row warthog yeah the
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war or wearing warbling bore blah grow
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long and the other person goes yes and
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then they both have collected having
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seen it over and that's very interesting
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to me and they're not in the
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birdwatchers of the bird photographers
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are different people too so they're not
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even watch they're not even collecting
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having taken a picture of a thing I've
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never had an opportunity to talk about
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this and i haven't actually thought
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about it that much but as you get older
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you start to realize that there are what
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you from isms for example use their
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existential euphemisms for example like
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it let's say you look for opportunities
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like for my wife i think i think going
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to the gym or going to yoga is very much
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about going to the gym and going to yoga
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that's always a part of it but but it's
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also that she's not with us like she
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gets an hour to herself or two hours or
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you're saying yeah I'm just like dad
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saying all we're out of milk
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I'm happy to go to the store and get
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some milk uh-huh because you get a
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second to yourself and maybe you can
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yeah like my grandfather said I'm going
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and he didn't come back for 15 years
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yeah or like that it's all it's a lot
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like that and so I don't know why but as
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I got older I started to think it's not
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that I can't imagine why someone would
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super watching it just it seems a little
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obscure it's one of those things like
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gorilla costumes are quicksand in the
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seventies where it came up so often the
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even as weird as it was like is that
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much quicksand in the world wait a
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minute you are really nailing something
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here have you talked about this before
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I've mentioned another place I'm not the
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only person there is actually her
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podcast a few years ago about what
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happened quicksand is quicksand was
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everywhere it was it was terrified of
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quicksand it seemed like it looked
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around every corner there was certainly
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a period probably half a year wherever I
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would avoid sand because given the
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exposure in the media
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I had to assume that there was quicksand
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out there I just didn't know about and
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also people Gorillaz it's so well about
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that was not true i expected that though
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and-and-and birthday party clowns oh I
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still never met anybody who actually
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looks forward to meeting a cloud
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no but we were going to believe your
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soul to build good John we were led to
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believe that there was a clown culture
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out there that somebody like and I've
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never met anybody who wasn't a clown who
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actually like the clown see I don't mind
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clowns but I had a traumatic clown
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experience as a child of God but i'm
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wondering how quick stand fits into the
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Bermuda Triangle a Bigfoot Loch Ness
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monster sure that the in search of era
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yeah like what how did quick same factor
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into that that's so interesting it seems
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it seems contemporaneous what you're all
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so you're telling this like there was
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this period where there has to be a
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reason why this was and maybe it was
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like post hippie like free new-age
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America was very interested in all kinds
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of like what do concepts about remember
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there's that period even before in
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search of there was that time life set
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of books but there's all this too
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interesting aliens about the you know
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the ETA is coming to visit us
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sure secret Nazi weapons shore
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underground or underwater kingdoms you
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got to get the Sasquatch yep right at
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the Bigfoot Loch Ness monster it was
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everywhere I think this is part of the
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appeal now that we're talking about it
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of the original Indiana Jones movie
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oh remember we all went into that he's
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got a lot of those elements yeah and
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we were asked as ten-year-old kids 12
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year old kids we were primed to think
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that there were little you know little
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secret Mayan temples full of gold idols
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and and secret Nazi weapons in Nazi
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weapons you've also got sort of like a
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like the whole like religious cult
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supernatural component parties into the
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Nazis yes it's all it's all baked into
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the Bermuda Triangle scene now and they
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had snakes in that I don't remember
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there being quicksand but also you know
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quicksand is also a fetish there are
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quicksand fetishists really there are
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people who think it's kinda it's a sexy
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thing for some people
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I get that I get that I grew up with
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enough for something on TV and you're
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gonna want to masturbate to it
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quicksand figures prominently in the
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princess bride in the princess bride
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Oh what's the idea that the heels you
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got the oh that's right yeah you're
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yeah I don't understand i'm still trying
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to parse it is this is coming up more
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and more you know i was just on a cruise
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yeah and I we were invited to visit the
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bridge which I had never had never been
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invited to the bridge before and they
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didn't look at the computer but not it
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no they're sailors up there in various
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uniforms who and there's a captain in
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our case he was a ship captain from
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Winnipeg which right away that should
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ring some alarm bells is a landlocked
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area John yeah they're yeah
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winnipeg doesn't know where a lot of
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doesn't doesn't have this to see in his
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nothing normally when you need to see
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Captain he's either from the Netherlands
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or from the Netherlands all right there
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off from the netherlands in other words
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or from Greece the whole the boats all
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the boats it's like they don't boats
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have their own delaware isn't a delaware
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of boats you always register in it but
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me or what is it is one place where
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everybody registers to think it's the
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bell whereas Nassau yeah something like
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that and then you so you get your boat
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and you act like it's from the Delaware
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of boats and then you hire some some
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tall blond guy to run your book because
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another lender yeah yeah the the
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Nederlanders grow up basically knee-deep
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in water and that's how they become ship
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captains because it's the only way they
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can on the water ya got the water get up
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onto a boat and your people dry out
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the Greeks also there are a lot of
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islands there and they they're all
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Abbott sailors but this guy's Canadians
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oh ok i mean the kid obviously the
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Canadians have a lot of sailors but not
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yeah but don't have any boats right one
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category well this is no you got to get
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that area on the east coast where they
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got a boat almost like there's no boats
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but you don't have sufficient votes to
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sellers not enough but I mean is there
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like a large amount of Navy I in say
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like that like whether we get the
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saskatoon is a place in Canada but
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there's no Navy there you get the Navy
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in Toronto I you're not gonna have a lot
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of maybe although there's a there's a
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there's a lake you have a lake Navy and
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heroin you haven't yeah you'd have
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thought the old heroin maybe but you
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know candy and Canada's Navy is very
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important because Canada needs to
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protect its Arctic sea ways
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Oh like way up there old boy that's that
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that is a gig I would not want
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well yeah except see this is the thing
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about the measure for the quicksand is
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probably not a lot of quicksand when you
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got that no don't know what's up there
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because it has frozen over quicksand
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well but that's the ice recedes there
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might be there might be a a lien a
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civilization that mean that's where
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you're going to find it
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Bermuda triangles yes a big foots quick
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quicksand Mayan temples it could all be
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up there so not a lot of territory
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there's a lot you know I think the
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coastline of canada is like the longest
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coastline in the world or something like
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that because it just is all crazy up
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there but as the chasm and abroad
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well also yeah no true Scotsman but the
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but all the nations of the world are now
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trying to scoot in and out of these
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canadian areas because the sea ice has
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receded and there's oil up there and so
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Canada's got a whole Navy that's all
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worried about that they're not worried
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about pot smuggling anymore because it's
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all coming from Canada
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anyway so this guy's for me a Winnipeg
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and here's the here's the rub are you
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ready ready here's why I got to go to
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the bridge because the captain who was
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65 years old is an enormous wil wheaton
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oh interesting and he hears will
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weakness on his boat and he's like got
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me well we bring him to the bridge
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yeah exactly everything that whistle
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noise well so of course will has the
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communicator sound oh my god wait a
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minute okay own I believe I'm putting
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oh my god and he's akiza kills you he
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was on the star trac yeah in the in the
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eighties that's correct or not you're a
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yeah it was in college he was on the
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star track and and he was he played he
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played Beverly Crusher and he was the
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guy with the crab face right yeah
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he i thought was the one to me talking
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penguin and smoke a cigarette in a long
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oh yeah right that's the that's a guy's
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Balfour that's the name of the bartender
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it was in another color purple
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well and he's the reason better but the
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Middle East is so unevenly defined well
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I didn't bring it up here but in any
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case this is so great we round out the
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guy from Star track is on his boat
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that's right and on the first thing he
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says when we walked onto the bridges he
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points to his captain's cheerios we had
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that modeled off of the enterprise and
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we all you know get courtesy chuckle
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he's super nice guy super nice captain
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he walks around as I say wills phone
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periodically he would get a text and it
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would make the communicator sound and
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the captain would like literally giggle
◼
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what you mean this guy's like 280 pounds
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like sea captain all of his all of his
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I'm talking about like hundreds of
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sailors when he walks by they all cower
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I mean not because then I'm sure not
◼
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because he's mean but because the it's
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the law of the sea right he's the
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that's a pretty big deal on a boat you
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don't step onto the bridge unless you've
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you know unless you like it's his boat
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it's his boat that's how that's how
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captioning works it's a pretty big deal
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►
i think yeah there was a there was a
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there's a button in in some of the
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public bathrooms it says you know in in
◼
►
better emergency push this button but
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don't push this button frivolously
◼
►
because it rings on the bridge but we
◼
►
will come rescue you and we will come
◼
►
hard as a former productivity expert
◼
►
have to tell you that is that is a
◼
►
category terrible idea
◼
►
well it's not like the captain's gonna
◼
►
come but it was just a moment just one
◼
►
song someone in the bathroom having a
◼
►
problem clean with an emergency but it's
◼
►
like it's their way of saying like if
◼
►
you're having an emergency it had better
◼
►
fucking be an emergency right we're
◼
►
gonna send sailors here but so many were
◼
►
walking around the bridge and and you
◼
►
know whenever people are there's not a
◼
►
very small group of us and people are
◼
►
asking and polite questions like what is
◼
►
this knob do and what's the you know
◼
►
what are what's this knob do like
◼
►
nobody's got nobody knows what to say to
◼
►
a sea captain and so so I said what's
◼
►
the weirdest thing you've ever seen come
◼
►
out of the sea and he says I saw sunfish
◼
►
which is an enormous fish are perfectly
◼
►
round fish that floats on the top of the
◼
►
floats on the surface of the sea and
◼
►
they're very rare nobody ever sees them
◼
►
wow I saw one and I didn't know what it
◼
►
was this is not a cryptozoological thing
◼
►
this is like that this has been
◼
►
legitimated by schools and stuff so he
◼
►
has seen one and it is this is guys
◼
►
spent 50 years on the sea or ever since
◼
►
I've seen a sunfish and I didn't know
◼
►
what it was a freak me out because its
◼
►
enormous right it's the size of a
◼
►
trampoline or something right and then
◼
►
he said I saw second one and I knew what
◼
►
it was by that point and I marveled at
◼
►
it was like okay weird creature of the
◼
►
deep and then I said I mean all these
◼
►
years staring out of the sea
◼
►
have you ever seen UFOs
◼
►
just just like that without any kind of
◼
►
like just I was just like all right sci
◼
►
fi star trek captain let's get down to
◼
►
the nitty-gritty you are standing on
◼
►
this bridge staring out at the open sea
◼
►
let's hear UFO shit and at that moment
◼
►
all of his crew like all the junior
◼
►
officers were but they all stare at the
◼
►
shoes I was like oh the captain says
◼
►
I've seen lights over the Bahamas that
◼
►
behaved unlike a ship or plane
◼
►
mmm unexplained lights over the Bahamas
◼
►
you must when you're in like coming up
◼
►
in in whatever the Navy is in Canada you
◼
►
you must see all you must have so many
◼
►
hours you spend visually identifying
◼
►
what something is or what something
◼
►
could be you must get really good at
◼
►
that over its all you do I mean there
◼
►
were there were guys you would know you
◼
►
would know it would be like all day long
◼
►
you're inspecting hot dogs and selling
◼
►
there's a poodle there and you go I
◼
►
definitely know that this does not
◼
►
yeah these guys are standing on this up
◼
►
with this like 200 degree view looking
◼
►
out onto a perfectly flat ocean and you
◼
►
can see to the horizon in every
◼
►
direction and that's all they do they
◼
►
just sit there and stare out and
◼
►
everyone smile they raise some
◼
►
binoculars to their eyes and they look
◼
►
out and see I don't know what flotsam
◼
►
and so when a sea captain tells me
◼
►
unexplained lights over the Bahamas and
◼
►
he says unlike a ship or a plane so that
◼
►
implies that they're kinda down in the
◼
►
ship area but they're not acting like a
◼
►
ship was like okay cat okay see Captain
◼
►
that's a good story and then I said
◼
►
what's the taller I said Jesse a rogue
◼
►
wave and he said I've talked two
◼
►
captains that have encountered rogue
◼
►
waves but I've never seen one so that
◼
►
was interesting that's in a way out of
◼
►
nowhere that's probably high massive
◼
►
wave out of nowhere just sitting on a
◼
►
calm sea and then all of a sudden whoa
◼
►
super wave and the last question he said
◼
►
was what's that what's the tallest see
◼
►
you ever saw and he said I was
◼
►
captaining a freighter I was Captain
◼
►
afraid or out of newfoundland i love the
◼
►
story already and he said I was south of
◼
►
during the perfect storm the outer most
◼
►
famous one for the movie the famous
◼
►
perfect storm and he said the bridge on
◼
►
that ship was 50 feet off the sea and he
◼
►
said I had to lean forward and look out
◼
►
look up out the window to see the crests
◼
►
of the waves my god I was like that's a
◼
►
good story sea captain I'm I'm really
◼
►
warming up to you i want to sit here on
◼
►
the bridge and ask you more questions
◼
►
but then they show up they shuffled this
◼
►
shuffle shuffle the rest of us away but
◼
►
we'll wait and stayed behind to talk
◼
►
I i stayed in the door to watch their
◼
►
exchange and the captain was like it was
◼
►
like to be in stand by me when he was
◼
►
just super fan i love that it was like
◼
►
and was like well you know it's been 30
◼
►
years since stand by me and they both
◼
►
well says he's gracious guy though I can
◼
►
be he handles the situation situation
◼
►
like that well she is amazing that such
◼
►
any such as a good fellow
◼
►
yeah so anyway that was very interesting
◼
►
but it can friend that you know what we
◼
►
were in the Bermuda Triangle while we
◼
►
were having this conversation that's not
◼
►
we were sailing through the Bermuda
◼
►
Triangle while I conjured up a alien
◼
►
stories from the sea captain and I swear
◼
►
all of his staff got really
◼
►
uncomfortable we start talking about
◼
►
UFOs what do you think that is I don't
◼
►
know maybe maybe the sea captain isn't
◼
►
he's not he's not supposed to let there
◼
►
be anything that he doesn't control i
◼
►
can think of a lot of release a handful
◼
►
of reasons I mean what with other first
◼
►
reason if this is a movie was that it
◼
►
was something everybody saw and agreed
◼
►
with and it was a known thing that
◼
►
everybody lots of people had seen and
◼
►
you don't talk about cuz of America then
◼
►
the other one would be and we're pretty
◼
►
sure you didn't really see that and he
◼
►
keeps talking about a lot haha that's
◼
►
the kind of thing where somebody
◼
►
somebody somebody calls the Delaware
◼
►
boats to you know you know say yeah yeah
◼
►
yeah well I didn't get the sense that
◼
►
they were uncomfortable like here he
◼
►
goes again it was a night just like that
◼
►
huh but i do feel like they're there
◼
►
might be some America of the sea like
◼
►
be captaining is don't talk about see
◼
►
captaining where you're like yeah there
◼
►
are fucking aliens living under the
◼
►
ocean behind train hard to train if that
◼
►
were actually the rules of sea captain
◼
►
club haha no you just what you walk
◼
►
around behind another sea captain and he
◼
►
tells you nothing who you follow him for
◼
►
long enough so you get you get even
◼
►
realize that you guys that he was you
◼
►
ok because coming from inside the
◼
►
welcome back did you get to go to that
◼
►
weird island on haiti where the person
◼
►
got lost did you go to that we didn't go
◼
►
to Haiti this time it was a it was there
◼
►
was it was afraid little I i stayed off
◼
►
the st. Thomas because i had had a bad
◼
►
experience last time i went to st.
◼
►
Thomas not a there was nothing terrible
◼
►
about it i just had an enjoyable time
◼
►
uh-huh but I did go to st. Maarten which
◼
►
aisle which I like a lot and I had a
◼
►
very nice time in st. Maarten although
◼
►
wait a minute you brought your family oh
◼
►
absolutely haha the whole gang
◼
►
I I said part of your own merit of the
◼
►
seeds you never bring your family again
◼
►
well you know I i have my room which is
◼
►
provided for me by the choco cruise
◼
►
where I their death in steerage
◼
►
where is much more than they all have
◼
►
cabins right no kinds for normal people
◼
►
are normal you bring the entire
◼
►
complement of women in your life i did I
◼
►
got their break every woman i could
◼
►
think of all thrilled
◼
►
let's see there were 12 345 whoa five
◼
►
family ladies I didn't bring every woman
◼
►
i could think of that would be a hell of
◼
►
a weird cruise but I that spreads the
◼
►
stuff of nightmares look oh my god every
◼
►
single it says it's a bespoke cruise
◼
►
where every single person on there is a
◼
►
woman that you've wronged
◼
►
yeah right i mean i-i depending if there
◼
►
was a code of conduct that everybody had
◼
►
to agree to before we got on the boat
◼
►
maybe it could be fun cruise but if I
◼
►
but I get the feeling knowing the people
◼
►
that I've known they would all agree to
◼
►
the code of conduct with no intention of
◼
►
polling it absolutely not i would not
◼
►
sure and then we can you imagine the
◼
►
kind of breakout receptions that they're
◼
►
having it could be regional it could be
◼
►
I'm it could be a certain industry there
◼
►
there might just be people that you know
◼
►
work to pursue can they would have a
◼
►
meeting over here you know well I mean
◼
►
uh Lido deck on the leader or the ones
◼
►
that would bump into each other on the
◼
►
deck and go oh my god you look exactly
◼
►
like me what does that say oh my god
◼
►
he'd be like no no totally coincidence
◼
►
have the doc martin breakout room
◼
►
everybody free playing games in the
◼
►
basement when maybe look and they all
◼
►
have roadrunner tattoos
◼
►
what if he made you what
◼
►
oh god that we sell off so yeah that was
◼
►
fun and you know end of the family uh
◼
►
the family there were enough family
◼
►
members that they could entertain
◼
►
themselves and my daughter was old
◼
►
enough to go to the what she called be
◼
►
it was the preschool right they have a
◼
►
day of daycare preschool fun place for
◼
►
kids which which she mispronounced as
◼
►
the Aqua nuts who she was like I'm an
◼
►
Aquanaut take me to the Aqua nuts i was
◼
►
like aqua nuts that skeezy is exactly
◼
►
right and that's when our podcast turned
◼
►
into cute things the kids say about the
◼
►
soft-serve machine she ever discover
◼
►
that she knew all about it she knew
◼
►
about it long before we got on the boat
◼
►
was destination for us it was for me
◼
►
last year the up to get soft serve any
◼
►
time you feel like it but i only went
◼
►
there once this time I never want to
◼
►
johnny rockets a single time
◼
►
what I basically just sat on the sand on
◼
►
my balcony and calculated trajectories
◼
►
for 12-pound cannonballs for everything
◼
►
that we passed I was like can I hit that
◼
►
with the 12-pound cannonball could I hit
◼
►
that with a 12-pound cannonball I spent
◼
►
a lot of time doing that mhm uh but uh
◼
►
but yeah I was it was a you know next
◼
►
year I i want to turn this into an
◼
►
advertisement an unpaid advertisement i
◼
►
might add for the Joe Cruz but next year
◼
►
were where to buy out taking over an
◼
►
entire boat uh-huh and leaving from San
◼
►
uh-huh and so it's gonna be bananas
◼
►
it's already bananas and so it's really
◼
►
it's actually a really good idea
◼
►
yeah it's it's gonna be it's gonna be
◼
►
totally crazy and we have discussed at
◼
►
length different stratagems to prohibit
◼
►
sea monkeys from turning it into a
◼
►
clothing-optional cruise because I know
◼
►
they're at least a hundred fifty of them
◼
►
that would take off all their clothes
◼
►
the moment they got on the boat we think
◼
►
oh yeah well it's part of the you know
◼
►
it's part of the sex positivity of of
◼
►
the overarching doctrine of tourism
◼
►
which says hey you know like what's the
◼
►
matter why don't body shame me I want to
◼
►
be naked right now with this door she's
◼
►
my flip-flops the worst shoe of all and
◼
►
so I so I absolutely as soon as it was
◼
►
as soon as we even started talking two
◼
►
years ago about taking over whole boat I
◼
►
was like fucking nerd sex cruise
◼
►
watch out and so then we started all
◼
►
talking about it like what are we gonna
◼
►
do like is if this just turns into a
◼
►
total Pig pile right like a black guys
◼
►
sexperiment I'd be like how's that going
◼
►
to go over their kids on the boat I'm
◼
►
not sure that I want to go every night
◼
►
like there's a game room but what if
◼
►
there was one thing everybody was naked
◼
►
in the game taking 20-sided die up one
◼
►
no I haven't done shower yeah i know but
◼
►
i think we've got I think we have we've
◼
►
covered that now we've discussed it sort
◼
►
of hope someone openly with everybody
◼
►
and said like it's family cruise you be
◼
►
making in your room but you always could
◼
►
have done that family cruise i bring my
◼
►
family as previously noted i'm not sure
◼
►
that makes it a family curse
◼
►
ah-ah-ah-choo call family family and
◼
►
that's a terrible word that gets used to
◼
►
mean too many different things by
◼
►
terrible people right
◼
►
I I you could bring kids on that I don't
◼
►
know if it's the best thing but you know
◼
►
and it's interesting because what that
◼
►
cruise seems to have become over the
◼
►
years is very much its own thing to wear
◼
►
it seems like an actual also credit
◼
►
folks who run it like you know
◼
►
especially with Paul goes through with
◼
►
the work that he does on that I mean I
◼
►
know he's not the only one there's a
◼
►
whole staff but I mean like my god it's
◼
►
just a huge amount of work to make
◼
►
everybody's happy as they can be made is
◼
►
staggering but it really
◼
►
seems like it's become something how do
◼
►
I put this in a nice way it's it's
◼
►
definitely still the Joker cruise right
◼
►
but it's kind of it's really about the
◼
►
folks who go on it now and Johnson
◼
►
doesn't really need to be there for it
◼
►
to be the Joe Cruz I've been saying for
◼
►
a few years now that the final the final
◼
►
iteration of this the final form he will
◼
►
who of the joco crews will be a where
◼
►
Jonathan has become a colonel sanders
◼
►
where he's he's just good he's gone into
◼
►
the illustration of himself
◼
►
I get it he's just a hologram he can't
◼
►
you know you can't wait but you could
◼
►
hire any a competent professional actor
◼
►
singer to have to be Jonathan could just
◼
►
be a guy comes around and seems pretty
◼
►
nervous you're not sure why yet do you
◼
►
remember in the late seventies early
◼
►
eighties when Ronald McDonald suddenly
◼
►
was a woman or look like a woman I've
◼
►
seen the hot japanese version a hot
◼
►
female japanese version of ronald
◼
►
mcdonald I don't remember is it like is
◼
►
it like mr. noodle where suddenly was
◼
►
christened channel with our I'm not sure
◼
►
I get that reference value and
◼
►
assessment street huh well of course I
◼
►
did Sesame Street was mr. noodle off the
◼
►
love of Christ this little late period
◼
►
inside its insight i mean with your
◼
►
child John inside of Elmo's World all
◼
►
segments where I think that was
◼
►
initially that nice guy from even shady
◼
►
past few years ago and then it was Bob
◼
►
Miller one I forget who came first
◼
►
builder when the wonderful talented you
◼
►
know actor and mine guy and then some
◼
►
point they brought in a minute miss
◼
►
noodle arm is noodle which is a
◼
►
Christian channel with the the wonderful
◼
►
actress and singer mr. noodle mr. noodle
◼
►
his problem he's having problems you
◼
►
never you never saw mr. noodle you are
◼
►
shooting can word confetti out of a
◼
►
cannon at me right now I have no idea
◼
►
what any of those words mean I'd
◼
►
recognize them as English birds really
◼
►
up from before my daughter was born I
◼
►
had one exposure to Elmo mhm and I was
◼
►
well he's pretty cute well but this is
◼
►
about that i'm basing all this on one
◼
►
exposure right little kids are really ok
◼
►
alright because i have memories a minute
◼
►
we were not a giant Elmo house
◼
►
okay you kids story you've seen on the
◼
►
I know what an elmo and he basically at
◼
►
the end he sings us and he sings a song
◼
►
about whatever the topic was and he
◼
►
always thinks it to the tune of jingle
◼
►
so you guys jacket jacket jacket jacket
◼
►
jacket jacket or like you know whatever
◼
►
she wants shoebox shoebox whatever is he
◼
►
sings this little song i do not find
◼
►
this cute i'm gonna keep are you know
◼
►
what nevermind you don't get out go
◼
►
ok you know a before my dad's family has
◼
►
no not that I've seen I haven't seen
◼
►
that episode that might be one of the
◼
►
never mind that you don't deserve this
◼
►
sweet story but because we've seen so
◼
►
many Elmo's and we always sing the
◼
►
jingle bells song with my daughter I saw
◼
►
something red she would point to it and
◼
►
and that's how my daughter said read
◼
►
what she said haha tdawg models it was
◼
►
also another key point to describe
◼
►
something as little she got a cute is
◼
►
that that it's cute we're big was ok
◼
►
what's big oh sure that any kids are
◼
►
so mr. noodle 10 i have kept Elmo as I
◼
►
have kept Dora told me you always
◼
►
correct you chose correctly there my
◼
►
yeah well but at but Elmo to like I love
◼
►
elmo and Dora together into a category
◼
►
of thing that I never let pass the
◼
►
threshold and so I have no I have no
◼
►
idea what mr. noodle is oh I do not know
◼
►
the name of Nora's little monkey friend
◼
►
there Dora or whatever and though their
◼
►
little whiny voices and they're
◼
►
massively pedantic version of what a of
◼
►
like how to communicate with kids it's
◼
►
excruciating i do not have it in and now
◼
►
you know that I came downstairs this
◼
►
oh my God we're turning into a fucking
◼
►
dad podcast now our dad our dad jokes
◼
►
have been getting worse and worse at
◼
►
least mine have but now we're talking
◼
►
about our kids at that late but I came
◼
►
downstairs this morning and she was
◼
►
sitting at the table all by herself
◼
►
reading aloud from her dick and jane
◼
►
book all and I i bought the dick and
◼
►
jane book and said listen to it because
◼
►
there's all these like how to teach your
◼
►
kids to read app or whatever you know
◼
►
and I said I learned to read with Dick
◼
►
name as my mother and father before me
◼
►
and she will learn to read from Dick and
◼
►
Jane that's nice can monitor dick dick
◼
►
sees spot spot runs go spot go o.o spot
◼
►
spot that's amazing you have read it you
◼
►
years and you still remember so much as
◼
►
a no go as well set up any a setup for
◼
►
the story because i heard this morning I
◼
►
came downstairs and she's sitting there
◼
►
all by herself at the table reading
◼
►
aloud from chicken chain and I was like
◼
►
there it is there it is all in a
◼
►
nutshell she'll be fine now she doesn't
◼
►
uh-huh she's been we've sent around the
◼
►
right path or even told what to read
◼
►
she's already erased from ready go now
◼
►
Dick and Jane is not a nice feeling
◼
►
though that's what I mean the whole
◼
►
reading thing is a nice feeling
◼
►
it's very nice but but so she recognizes
◼
►
what a dora is she knows what an elmo is
◼
►
too she has seen them
◼
►
she's seen them in the wild right you're
◼
►
walking through a you're walking through
◼
►
a target because a target boy daddy
◼
►
needs a spatula who and she goes what
◼
►
you don't get your spatula is a target
◼
►
you said from like that's not where you
◼
►
get spatulas no no I would love to talk
◼
►
about target we I love going to target I
◼
►
you call it charger no I don't call that
◼
►
are Jason's making any to I was that was
◼
►
funny for like an hour
◼
►
it's like your friends mom who always
◼
►
says thank you like stop doing that
◼
►
that's not funny anymore whose friends
◼
►
mom says thank you thank you
◼
►
what does that mean oh it's it's a lying
◼
►
or somebody says oh i don't know i don't
◼
►
really like Kim Kardashian that much and
◼
►
thank you OIC a confirmative thank you
◼
►
right well I think we've talked about
◼
►
this before but that do you remember in
◼
►
the in the mid eighties when all of a
◼
►
sudden everybody was saying yeah it is
◼
►
oh yeah we discuss this i have I still
◼
►
have a lot of these tix I haven't gotten
◼
►
rid of and I don't want to delve into it
◼
►
too far because i still have a lot of
◼
►
terrible ticks that I'm not proud of you
◼
►
mhm mhm like the sniffing like always
◼
►
slipping not always sniffing you're
◼
►
always sniffing your coffee snapping
◼
►
you've done a hundred and ninety
◼
►
episodes of the show and you still don't
◼
►
clear your throat before you pick up the
◼
►
uh-huh what would that what would that
◼
►
even entail you don't you're talking
◼
►
about like before you pick up
◼
►
I don't know and honestly don't want to
◼
►
think about it too much I don't know
◼
►
I love target i love and especially with
◼
►
the other day we got so much good stuff
◼
►
I can't tell you how much great stuff we
◼
►
got a target have you noticed that
◼
►
target that all the boy clothes and the
◼
►
girl closer lately sequestered from one
◼
►
another you do not want to fucking get
◼
►
me started on this the boy clothes all
◼
►
of cool cars and and rocket ships and
◼
►
skulls and crossbones and the girl
◼
►
closer just like oh no no we walk we
◼
►
walk right past there's no point and
◼
►
here's the other thing like I want to
◼
►
get actually I was gonna get my kid and
◼
►
we so my kid leaves things on the
◼
►
playground she forgets her jackets she
◼
►
forgot jacket jacket jacket you forget
◼
►
your jacket she forgets her water
◼
►
bottles were constantly retweet you know
◼
►
we're working on this right she's great
◼
►
otherwise but so I'm getting more like
◼
►
cheap jackets you know there are like
◼
►
yeah i mean not cheap i mean but you
◼
►
know inexpensive because I figure you
◼
►
know i'm looking for an heirloom jacket
◼
►
and you can you walk into the girls
◼
►
section is like everything's pink la you
◼
►
longer it's all shit it's all you know
◼
►
they have cool belt they have cool belts
◼
►
that are fun if there's some cool
◼
►
underwear but then if you want anything
◼
►
decent you have to go to the boys area
◼
►
because they just assume that every girl
◼
►
is gonna dress like somebody falls down
◼
►
a well and wait to be rescued
◼
►
haha so goddamn annoying and it doesn't
◼
►
go to amazon i say okay I want to get
◼
►
her a new hoodie only together minecraft
◼
►
Cudi I want to get her a hoodie from the
◼
►
cat game i wanna get our machine hoodie
◼
►
I go and I do a search you don't you see
◼
►
under clothes you see men's clothes you
◼
►
see women's clothes and you see boys
◼
►
clothes unless you search for something
◼
►
really insipid and fucking pink and then
◼
►
you get TT he down here there's girls
◼
►
clouds got a ruffle and it's part of all
◼
►
hehe my kids that dress i mean when she
◼
►
dresses like the other day like to go to
◼
►
target she wears like horizontal striped
◼
►
leggings with a foot if really
◼
►
ridiculously Felix loofah skirt and a
◼
►
captain america shirt and a headband
◼
►
that's how my daughter dresses she rose
◼
►
whatever the fuck she feels like and
◼
►
it's unerringly hilarious but she rarely
◼
►
does is go I want to look like somebody
◼
►
it's just it's so i'm not against frozen
◼
►
it's just that I'm so tired of that
◼
►
anyway sorry Donald dad of a daughter's
◼
►
name that it you won't appreciate until
◼
►
you're there let alone let alone go to
◼
►
target to try to find a ray character
◼
►
but you cannot buy a whole big package
◼
►
Star Wars boys you can get three
◼
►
from fucking stormtroopers there's no
◼
►
ray well that that seems like that seem
◼
►
like a truly a cultural moment I was
◼
►
like oh we didn't want we didn't want to
◼
►
put rate characters out there cuz we
◼
►
don't want to spoil the surprise well
◼
►
the movie that the one the star of the
◼
►
movie is in the set now there's honestly
◼
►
a hilarious set of force awakens
◼
►
probably 12 inch size characters and
◼
►
it's got Finn it's got po it's got a
◼
►
console is on it's got a stormtrooper
◼
►
and it's got another storm trooper right
◼
►
oh yeah but there's no running there you
◼
►
know i have had an interesting insights
◼
►
to anonymous stormtroopers in delray
◼
►
leaving that aside which is which is
◼
►
incredible array is one of my favorite
◼
►
characters a contemporary cinema and I
◼
►
you know we're physically she perfectly
◼
►
embodies what that movie needed to be
◼
►
and it would not have been the same
◼
►
yep yeah she's the fan on the screen and
◼
►
it was perfect but i had had an
◼
►
interesting insight you know into the
◼
►
film you know III I hesitated to
◼
►
criticize the star wars movie at all
◼
►
because you know as much as I like it's
◼
►
like good reasons to not do that
◼
►
yeah as much as I like getting letters I
◼
►
i did not want to get any letters about
◼
►
this but i but I was this this was one
◼
►
of those things as i was walking I was
◼
►
walking along and all of a sudden like
◼
►
an acorn fell on my head and I said wait
◼
►
a minute why didn't they do it that way
◼
►
you know that feeling
◼
►
who when you're like we have sure why
◼
►
didn't they do it that way i feel that
◼
►
way about lots of things what was in
◼
►
this case in this case the hand solo son
◼
►
yeah right yeah not a fan whose name is
◼
►
a paco rabanne or whatever Allah Alonso
◼
►
it's funnier if I don't laugh but that's
◼
►
the perfect alonzo morningstar which is
◼
►
your name his name is a rilo kiley yeah
◼
►
friedrich von solution straße it um his
◼
►
first appearance in the film is in his
◼
►
guys right is his guys it's terrible
◼
►
error terrible Darth warmth or yes or be
◼
►
worse mark or whatever and you see him
◼
►
and he appears and you're like okay
◼
►
is the new bad guy who and then as the
◼
►
as the film progresses you see that he
◼
►
is not really in his full he's not fully
◼
►
in his in his he's not and he's not as
◼
►
yeah right like when when Darth Vader
◼
►
and the generals the high-ranking
◼
►
soldiers have encounters you see that
◼
►
they are terrified of him who but when
◼
►
they have no even though we were so
◼
►
effective in this movie's you understand
◼
►
that Darth Vader has a boss but still
◼
►
Darth Vader that everybody scared of
◼
►
everybody scared of Darth and you're not
◼
►
sure what his rank is right he's kinda
◼
►
feels like not a row but not but he's
◼
►
he's almost like a consultant like he's
◼
►
been brought in to make sure you rebuild
◼
►
this fucking death star and this is this
◼
►
yeah right i mean it and I do not alter
◼
►
it further in in the way in a way that
◼
►
he is like he is he's a mini Emperor
◼
►
right but in the new Star Wars movie The
◼
►
the paco rabanne character does not have
◼
►
very much authority right the general is
◼
►
openly contemptuous of him and he
◼
►
doesn't really have a very good report
◼
►
but he's in this like amazing gas mask
◼
►
yeah I like this place so that was cool
◼
►
but then as the as the film unfolds the
◼
►
mask comes off and you see that he's
◼
►
just sort of a callow male model
◼
►
uh-huh it's not I mean it was very clear
◼
►
why Darth Vader wore the mask because he
◼
►
was hideous least disfigure yeah
◼
►
anything before you learned all the you
◼
►
know reckon details of it like you could
◼
►
tell that he was he was he was messed up
◼
►
yeah imagine he needed that to live
◼
►
probably the mask was breathing for him
◼
►
and the stormtroopers wore masks because
◼
►
it wasn't clear whether or not they were
◼
►
robots at first right totally right for
◼
►
the longest time we thought they were
◼
►
robots and then it turned out they were
◼
►
I mean they were there they were
◼
►
basically they were they were like nazis
◼
►
in world war two movie
◼
►
yeah just like generic people to be shot
◼
►
but as the film unfolds then the the the
◼
►
paco rabanne character uses his mask
◼
►
less and less until he just seems like a
◼
►
teenager running around very petulant
◼
►
he's always wearing a bandana
◼
►
it's like he just wears when he feels
◼
►
like it and and it's not
◼
►
explain what the purpose of it is except
◼
►
that it's just an affectation it's just
◼
►
like it's just like a have accepted
◼
►
why didn't they start the movie with him
◼
►
without his mask and that's why nobody
◼
►
respects him yet he's walking around in
◼
►
a cape he's obviously a Jedi but he's it
◼
►
using any single teacher at the very
◼
►
least four cents and if we don't meet me
◼
►
tonight Jennifer sorry I'm sorry I'm
◼
►
sorry I'm sorry I can't believe
◼
►
registered I'm so sorry
◼
►
it's no it's quite all right cutting
◼
►
that out on my own but there's actually
◼
►
you about Star Wars there's a there's a
◼
►
reason that he's there and that's
◼
►
because he has horsepower who write and
◼
►
but the generals are contemptuous of him
◼
►
because he can't quite lift them off the
◼
►
ground and make them choke yet right so
◼
►
so he's it's some kind of thing where he
◼
►
is being groomed by the new emperor
◼
►
right but he's still a kind of a callow
◼
►
teenager and that's why nobody takes him
◼
►
seriously and then over the course of
◼
►
the film we in he inherits the helmet
◼
►
because something I get it right
◼
►
why why do it the the reverse way where
◼
►
we're set up to think like all this guy
◼
►
looks mean he's gonna be mean and then
◼
►
over the course the time were already
◼
►
trying to were already trying to buy the
◼
►
end of the first film we're already in
◼
►
this in this mode of like is he going to
◼
►
be as he savable is he going to be
◼
►
rescuing ball we didn't even set him up
◼
►
as like as like a guy who's bitterness
◼
►
turns him to the dark side increasingly
◼
►
who we already its he's already like oh
◼
►
he doesn't know whether it's bad or not
◼
►
I just feel like come on
◼
►
well I said something a lot of people
◼
►
have said about a lot of things related
◼
►
to star wars that i happen to agree with
◼
►
and we'll make the short because I just
◼
►
I can't handle the email but one of the
◼
►
great things about science something
◼
►
Syracuse and I talked about in terms of
◼
►
like why is how it's like fury fury road
◼
►
in some ways the first Star Wars very
◼
►
little is done to explain what
◼
►
everything means through is so much just
◼
►
pure action and exposition just based on
◼
►
what you're looking at right now that
◼
►
the exposition is that like there's
◼
►
these robots sorry that's just always
◼
►
that's all we have time to explain why
◼
►
there's so much story to get through
◼
►
right then like you know and you know
◼
►
there's all kinds of things that people
◼
►
spent years wondering about and so forth
◼
►
but like what you're describing here we
◼
►
didn't understand what Darth Vader was
◼
►
or how he was and we certainly don't
◼
►
understand what the force was other than
◼
►
there was a lot of hand waving about it
◼
►
some kind of cosmic force but we didn't
◼
►
know how powerful Darth Vader could be
◼
►
because we need how he can you know what
◼
►
his weaknesses work for that matter all
◼
►
we saw was that like oh my god you do
◼
►
not want to tangle with this guy is
◼
►
obviously a very scary i mean you can
◼
►
you know right right but like you know
◼
►
the less we knew the more interesting he
◼
►
was one maybe don't I mean do you
◼
►
remember feeling like Darth Vader might
◼
►
have been a robot a magic robot
◼
►
absolutely very special on the first
◼
►
viewing like it seemed it
◼
►
yeah I always assumed the stormtroopers
◼
►
just because of their movements were
◼
►
whatever the galaxy far away version of
◼
►
human was oh you knew that there were
◼
►
humans inside the Stormtrooper right
◼
►
well they didn't move like robots if
◼
►
they want to Telegraph that the robots
◼
►
it seems they would have handled that
◼
►
differently so Cylons were post first
◼
►
Star Wars yes because Cylons were
◼
►
clearly robot sounds were clearly let's
◼
►
say a ripoff of Stormtroopers but that
◼
►
who were definitely robots
◼
►
yeah right and i think i think that i
◼
►
was i was coming at it from more of a
◼
►
like storm troopers were proto Cylons I
◼
►
see because because again what do they
◼
►
need to ask for masks are uncomfortable
◼
►
yeah oh and and it's never it's never
◼
►
specified like to the masks let them see
◼
►
a terminator style are the are the
◼
►
eyepieces giving them additional
◼
►
information we know we didn't know it
◼
►
doesn't let them breathe on foreign
◼
►
planets where there is an oxygen no
◼
►
don't no idea no idea i love target what
◼
►
we end up getting we got a lot of good
◼
►
stuff we've got some great clothes we
◼
►
did something we don't usually do which
◼
►
we got her got some branded franchise
◼
►
clothing for a property that's not even
◼
►
out yet but I'm all I can already tell
◼
►
we're going to like it so because you
◼
►
want to know you want to know what just
◼
►
no one well I was walking across the
◼
►
room and I accidentally unplugged my
◼
►
ok and when I came back you had
◼
►
completely changed the topic code area
◼
►
all fast that almost never happens like
◼
►
that and I didn't hear the transition
◼
►
right so I was like coming back in plug
◼
►
in my headphones back it's alright says
◼
►
yeah and you were just like anyway just
◼
►
as as if we had been talking about your
◼
►
daughter's clothes the entire time i
◼
►
love target we all kinds of stuff there
◼
►
we can get a spatula got a lot of good
◼
►
stuff what do we get what we can get
◼
►
we got all we got a little letter areum
◼
►
don't you know it's nice to get a target
◼
►
what time do you have a sensitive skin
◼
►
uh I mean it's you know if it doesn't
◼
►
get his feelings hurt like anybody right
◼
►
but I mean your attention but you're
◼
►
essentially a northern European I i know
◼
►
i don't want to say too much here but I
◼
►
i know that you you have to suffer in
◼
►
silence i know for example that your
◼
►
head sometimes is allergic to itself my
◼
►
head and face are both allergic to
◼
►
okay and I cannot abide any kind of real
◼
►
perfume and I cannot use normal soap if
◼
►
I wash my clothes in typical normal
◼
►
laundry detergent i will get an enormous
◼
►
ba complete body heat rash that
◼
►
sometimes swells my skin up so that it
◼
►
is like an inch puffier than it normally
◼
►
is which is that's miserable it is awful
◼
►
it's terrible if somebody else washes my
◼
►
clothes I basically have to wash them
◼
►
again because if I put them on I will
◼
►
get them in everywhere the close touch
◼
►
my skin i will get this awful heat rash
◼
►
that that is like swollen and burns and
◼
►
doesn't go away i have to lay naked on a
◼
►
on a cool sheet and fan myself for the
◼
►
magazine and it is any picture kind of
◼
►
magazine has to be like well like it
◼
►
well now I don't get well anymore
◼
►
I I felt burned bite well yeah but i got
◼
►
it for a while and I was like twelve
◼
►
this is this going to be consistent with
◼
►
horizontal slats are going to get big
◼
►
greasy yeah i'm going to live in a
◼
►
shipping container hooray for me and
◼
►
then after children play into the stairs
◼
►
boob after a while I realized that it
◼
►
was they were just taking pictures of
◼
►
the same house from different angles it
◼
►
see it took me two years to figure that
◼
►
out you know I was a male cyclist door
◼
►
looks familiar that's a really nice deck
◼
►
wait a minute wait a minute why is that
◼
►
child has the same toys what this house
◼
►
as a garage with the same three toys
◼
►
thank you there was absolutely no
◼
►
aesthetic variation and after like five
◼
►
is where Connor keeps his ball and this
◼
►
is kind of a little milk a reading nook
◼
►
a reading nook that shaped like the
◼
►
inside of a parachute not in any era are
◼
►
are crying the day and no over here we
◼
►
have our our mud palace and then those
◼
►
are real things that she's a documentary
◼
►
filmmaker and she's kind of videographer
◼
►
used to make apps now he's working on
◼
►
something you can't talk about you can't
◼
►
talk about it and tyler loves his little
◼
►
ball but here's what I get at target
◼
►
which is sheer free sheer free cheer is
◼
►
a laundry and sheer free cheer free has
◼
►
no no chemicals it has no stopping it
◼
►
has chemical don't know
◼
►
yeah I think you're free is just I think
◼
►
so i think a couple of guys go over a
◼
►
barbed-wire fence to the dumpster
◼
►
outside of a little suction facility
◼
►
nice and they get some bags of human fat
◼
►
and then they render it with lie and
◼
►
that is what cheer free is so it doesn't
◼
►
your clothes don't smell like any kind
◼
►
of perfume and your free get some skin
◼
►
yeah it well yeah it doesn't make my it
◼
►
doesn't make my body attack itself
◼
►
interesting and introduces like anything
◼
►
kind of would call an antibody i don't
◼
►
know i think it might be homeopathy John
◼
►
you might be doing homeopathy i might be
◼
►
might take a little bit of human skin to
◼
►
make your skin not be bothered
◼
►
interesting but it's at such a micro
◼
►
dose that it literally can't do anything
◼
►
maybe it's micro dosing me with LSD and
◼
►
I'm just don't realize that my skin is
◼
►
so maybe you're in your maybe your
◼
►
friend Dick Cheney's bunker I wow I
◼
►
friends just sparkling to be one
◼
►
no no ever since we mentioned that the
◼
►
last time I asked loss again Fred I've
◼
►
had more Fred Durst mentions in my
◼
►
mentions then I ever wanted and I don't
◼
►
want to think about him I do not want to
◼
►
think about him but so I never know
◼
►
what's going to endure when we say it
◼
►
it's we might say that we may see
◼
►
something wrong like something that's
◼
►
not even correct we might say something
◼
►
I ironically like as a joke and that
◼
►
because what people remember it's a lot
◼
►
of responsibility it is a lot of
◼
►
responsibility to have such well to be
◼
►
fucking head phony award-winning podcast
◼
►
that's true so this keeps you so you eat
◼
►
you had a good experience with this and
◼
►
you can buy a big bottle of it at target
◼
►
and getting to target
◼
►
okay yeah I i went to the dermatologist
◼
►
right I've told you this story and the
◼
►
dermatologist said I don't know what
◼
►
your problem is you're allergic to
◼
►
yourself and I said that's a terrible
◼
►
thing to say to somebody that they're
◼
►
allergic to themselves and he said she's
◼
►
right before you sent someone to the
◼
►
fucking Mayo Clinic you don't just trust
◼
►
somebody other office with stuff like
◼
►
that yeah I don't want to be a boy in
◼
►
the bubble and he was like now you're
◼
►
just allergic to your ears skin oil i
◼
►
was like a skin oil he was like yeah you
◼
►
can't you know you have to just you
◼
►
can't just let it sit on your skin
◼
►
because it will just your body your body
◼
►
ah exchanged our story checks out come
◼
►
on give me something you know me
◼
►
something to write on man put your tap
◼
►
tap tap tap it a little so yeah so I go
◼
►
to target for that and that's great and
◼
►
yeah what else did we get we were gonna
◼
►
get bowls i didn't like the bowls
◼
►
oh don't like their blah there's a lot
◼
►
of things we didn't buy their but we've
◼
►
never spent like four hundred dollars
◼
►
that we got a lot of stuff i go up and
◼
►
down the aisles you know did you know
◼
►
this about me that when I go into a
◼
►
store i have to go up and down every
◼
►
aisle every time it's not it's not it
◼
►
doesn't it's not OCD it
◼
►
no certainly not no no no no you're
◼
►
organized you got it you got away you
◼
►
like to do things i want to walk down
◼
►
every aisle and see what's there
◼
►
how are you how are you going to how we
◼
►
gonna live with yourself if you go out
◼
►
of the store you didn't walk down the
◼
►
one I'll that had something who write so
◼
►
when I go to costco whatever I go to
◼
►
costco what's with the anyone who knows
◼
►
me there like please don't go up and
◼
►
down every aisle we're just here for the
◼
►
Trista 75-pound bag of peanut brittle
◼
►
especially accounting for how tall their
◼
►
shelves are it's one thing to just look
◼
►
at eye level but if you look at
◼
►
everything on the shelves at costco and
◼
►
account for the people who get the free
◼
►
that's gonna be a long day my friend
◼
►
what is it's always a long day you go in
◼
►
there and you're like do I need 47
◼
►
think about it think about it mm no do I
◼
►
need what how much do we really need in
◼
►
well it's true but every every once in a
◼
►
while I was what was the last thing I
◼
►
went in there I thought I needed
◼
►
ah it was some kind of like always maybe
◼
►
one of those ladders that folds into a
◼
►
scaffold that folds into a like an
◼
►
origami ladder origami a ladder as seen
◼
►
yeah and those are neat i was like maybe
◼
►
i need that or maybe i need one of those
◼
►
juicers that goes it's 5,000 rpm the
◼
►
turns a little turn bricks into a juice
◼
►
but and it ends up i get the same thing
◼
►
I get you know get spaghetti sauce and I
◼
►
get peanut brittle and then I'm out of
◼
►
there but i still have to go down every
◼
►
aisle don't have to but I mean right
◼
►
mm it's like you have to if I go in and
◼
►
somebody's like you are forbidden from
◼
►
going up and down every aisle I i can I
◼
►
can hang with that if I'm if I'm
◼
►
expressly forbidden i can i can go all
◼
►
right actually seafood and automotive
◼
►
yep garden supplies oh yeah furniture
◼
►
uh-huh i'll definitely office supplies
◼
►
and safe sorry yeah but socks and and
◼
►
bedding with the middle you got that big
◼
►
middle part like the middle part you
◼
►
know Scott has a lot of like for your
◼
►
staple type clothes they got to get
◼
►
pretty good socks again pretty good
◼
►
undershirts all my underwear was from
◼
►
costco until very recently when I gotta
◼
►
I gotta start getting underwear from
◼
►
oh I get it I get internet underwear but
◼
►
Abbott is also the I heard the workout
◼
►
clothes I know how you love to work out
◼
►
there let's get one up close to get they
◼
►
probably have BMW pants and get there
◼
►
let me tell you about the underwear I'm
◼
►
thank you it is lined are not lined it's
◼
►
knitted with microfibers of silver it so
◼
►
people can steal your identity
◼
►
no no silver is anti bacterial or anti
◼
►
like silver scares all the the what the
◼
►
living a biome the biome yeah it KITT
◼
►
scares the biomes and they get out of
◼
►
so the underwear is like a shirt silver
◼
►
I don't want to imply don't want to say
◼
►
it's impregnated with silver now that's
◼
►
that's all thinking but silver is shot
◼
►
three shot through with silver there you
◼
►
go shop through with silver so that and
◼
►
it feels just like normal underwear huh
◼
►
but it created your little secret it
◼
►
creates an inhospitable environment for
◼
►
all the things that might get in your
◼
►
I don't get in there ok so this also i
◼
►
mean let's be honest that you got things
◼
►
like issues of contagion and older but
◼
►
also you keep your junk from becoming
◼
►
allergic to itself but with the silver
◼
►
I'm up I'm waiting I'm waiting to see if
◼
►
that's true but it but it feels like an
◼
►
act it's an extra layer of protection
◼
►
and emits a little secret like I'm
◼
►
wearing silver underwear
◼
►
yeah right and they're very comfortable
◼
►
i don't and and you know and maybe they
◼
►
protect my my nether regions from
◼
►
harmful rays are you worried about that
◼
►
and I'm worried about that are praised I
◼
►
I think about that I think about that
◼
►
yeah i'm very interested what can i say
◼
►
about this dad starts and start track
◼
►
are worried about harmful rays get a
◼
►
Oh John dad you get Joe that's awfully
◼
►
good thing all my goodness thanks I now
◼
►
everyone will be laugh-in yeah at that
◼
►
lay a wreath on that joke I solo most I
◼
►
more like millennial Falcon berg
◼
►
millennial for work I knew that if I
◼
►
released the released the a joke Sam you
◼
►
okay with just come pouring out like a
◼
►
like a burst water balloon become more
◼
►
powerful than you can imagine
◼
►
I don't know what to say exactly about
◼
►
this but I'm mm what's happening
◼
►
well I'm acquainted with someone who's a
◼
►
had and having problems with things like
◼
►
worrying about Ray's oh I'm trying to
◼
►
learn more about it than just haha
◼
►
chemtrails right and it's it's super
◼
►
tough and super interesting there are a
◼
►
lot of raised well but it's also like
◼
►
I'm trying to fly I can do this that's
◼
►
enough said about that except to say
◼
►
that it is very interesting very
◼
►
complicated i actually I came across an
◼
►
interesting thing on the reddit or
◼
►
somebody said you know you think about
◼
►
what people talk about especially what
◼
►
has come to but some people have called
◼
►
paranoid schizophrenia but some kind of
◼
►
like an effective thing but you know
◼
►
your things like people saying they
◼
►
think their voices right they think the
◼
►
queen is talking to them that they hear
◼
►
addressing them there are teams you know
◼
►
the there are actually people who do
◼
►
line hats with aluminum foil because
◼
►
they don't want thoughts and say its
◼
►
order to remove all these things that
◼
►
the sad part of this is the jokes that
◼
►
we make about this is that the horrible
◼
►
truth is that there are people that like
◼
►
believe that more than anything they
◼
►
believe in the entire world right and it
◼
►
is really interesting but there was i
◼
►
just i have a piece and i have read the
◼
►
whole thing yet but somebody's asking
◼
►
with what we now call schizophrenia with
◼
►
those particular symptoms
◼
►
what did people imagined before the age
◼
►
of electricity like you're saying
◼
►
there's so much thought now about like
◼
►
there are raised that are doing this
◼
►
there are ways of making you sexy see
◼
►
certain images insert and remove
◼
►
thoughts like the all lot of those in rh
◼
►
come down to electricity
◼
►
you know what I mean yeah like what
◼
►
people uh if you like hallucinate before
◼
►
well you know they're spiritualism was a
◼
►
big was a big thing right there is a
◼
►
part of the parent schizophrenia is this
◼
►
i don't even know that's exactly the
◼
►
correct term forgive me I don't be i'm
◼
►
really trying not to be insensitive
◼
►
about this cuz you know it's it's close
◼
►
to home but I it's interesting because I
◼
►
a lot of it does involve the parent part
◼
►
of the schizophrenia is that there there
◼
►
it's this very very strong belief
◼
►
essentially that somebody's fucking with
◼
►
you right and that the conflict the
◼
►
complexity of your the way your mind is
◼
►
working is because something is
◼
►
well sure but wouldn't that just be
◼
►
Damon's right i mean before before it
◼
►
was the man like you bewitched or
◼
►
something yeah right i mean i don't
◼
►
think that there's anything specific to
◼
►
it being like other humans who are
◼
►
messing with you except that in the
◼
►
modern age that seems a lot more
◼
►
Damon's right over people using like the
◼
►
sorcery right I guess sorcery would
◼
►
probably okay yeah that checks out
◼
►
Jack's out and a part of it also then is
◼
►
that I think the part that makes this so
◼
►
interesting scary is like the part of it
◼
►
is that it involves somebody who has
◼
►
malicious like ill will for you and is
◼
►
acting upon a person or a group is
◼
►
acting upon this with you know there
◼
►
they are after you and they are
◼
►
organized right and that they're doing
◼
►
it remotely and that they're doing it
◼
►
through some means of obfuscation which
◼
►
obfuscation is part of the very thing
◼
►
that is messing with you so I mean like
◼
►
when you I know maybe I'm being precious
◼
►
about but that's super interesting you
◼
►
break that down into parts can you
◼
►
imagine how excruciating that must be
◼
►
well it's all I believe that more than
◼
►
you believe anything in the world but
◼
►
it's the core of the protocols of the
◼
►
Elders of Zion I mean people have always
◼
►
of a malicious intent to the Jews or two
◼
►
I mean the Jews but and that's you know
◼
►
that was a convenient the Jews were
◼
►
convenient scapegoat for all that kind
◼
►
of paranoia for everyone in Europe for
◼
►
years and years and years decades
◼
►
hundreds of years so and you still see
◼
►
you still see paranoiacs everywhere
◼
►
attributing all that mind control to the
◼
►
bilderberg group or whatever
◼
►
yeah yeah wonder how who oh it was so
◼
►
would you put chem trails in that in a
◼
►
pile in the reckoning
◼
►
I mean the reason that I feel chemtrails
◼
►
is so remarkable is that it
◼
►
it's it seems much more like one of
◼
►
those conspiracies that isn't founded in
◼
►
an actual mental illness but is founded
◼
►
in the you know the pervasive American
◼
►
tendency that a tendency that the most
◼
►
ignorant people are the ones that are
◼
►
most certain about their beliefs right
◼
►
so the people all across the country are
◼
►
absolutely sure that Obama is trying to
◼
►
take their guns or whatever the fuck
◼
►
their current thing is right and
◼
►
chemtrails are just a part of that which
◼
►
is like they're so profoundly ignorant
◼
►
of how things work and so supremely
◼
►
confident that their interpretation or
◼
►
the interpretation of the radio a shock
◼
►
jock that they listen to you see this
◼
►
partly as somebody who's a little bit
◼
►
knowledgeable about aircraft well and
◼
►
how this guy works and how governments
◼
►
work and happy that you don't like like
◼
►
the have you ever worked with government
◼
►
you know the motivation
◼
►
what would be required to have chem
◼
►
trails be a project as big as they say
◼
►
and to keep it all a secret it's just
◼
►
hilarious and what is the benefit
◼
►
I mean what would the benefit of
◼
►
mind-control Pete there's so much mind
◼
►
control already that's just like right
◼
►
and you're just holding it in your hand
◼
►
you're soaking in it right but it's
◼
►
evident it's right in front of you
◼
►
there's no nobody's trying to do it in
◼
►
secret and there's no and nobody's
◼
►
controlling it like every at
◼
►
attempt that they make to exert some
◼
►
sort of i mean i do believe that it is
◼
►
I believe that the narrative that the
◼
►
that the that there is some connection
◼
►
between drugs and guns and inner-city
◼
►
violence that feels like it was seeded
◼
►
by you know seated in some ways
◼
►
unintentionally the results were
◼
►
unintentional in enough to the scale
◼
►
that they were but like the way that the
◼
►
CIA was drug running and paying for
◼
►
Nicaragua and giving getting black
◼
►
well and i think is aids-like and
◼
►
introducing crack as like the dudes like
◼
►
don't disposable e directly to play
◼
►
crack into ghettos idols reasons I don't
◼
►
think they're clever enough i don't
◼
►
think anyone at the CIA is clever clever
◼
►
enough to orchestrate it but I to
◼
►
orchestrate what happened but I do but
◼
►
there's enough stuff that has been
◼
►
documented and the and that narrative of
◼
►
like black power was real it was having
◼
►
a transformative effect and then it was
◼
►
completely like wiped off the face of
◼
►
the earth by this seemingly like like
◼
►
blood wave of drugs that came into the
◼
►
inner cities and the CIA is meanwhile
◼
►
dealing drugs to fund their covert
◼
►
operations just like there's just too
◼
►
much going on there to dismiss it
◼
►
wholeheartedly and here's here's why I
◼
►
think is that I mean there was a time I
◼
►
guess when there were a lot of rumors
◼
►
and you know and understand like the
◼
►
what we knew about what the CIA did
◼
►
before the nineteen seventies was it was
◼
►
more like what we know the NSA does now
◼
►
which is we assume everything but who
◼
►
knows but you know it was it will be
◼
►
years before we learn a lot about what
◼
►
the CI had done years earlier so for
◼
►
example like let's say you heard a rumor
◼
►
about the extent to which the CIA wanted
◼
►
to disrupt humiliate and potentially
◼
►
kill Fidel Castro and it's if you heard
◼
►
you would hear that you might have heard
◼
►
these stories that are so outlandish
◼
►
never going to make his beer trying
◼
►
make his beard fallout yeah like but the
◼
►
thing is that apparently they did huh
◼
►
yeah right i mean this is true didn't
◼
►
like trying to poison his food they're
◼
►
all these different kinds of things
◼
►
aren't shit man look what happened with
◼
►
that with all the guys in people in
◼
►
Russia being poisoned you know like that
◼
►
guy who was basically poisoned by Putin
◼
►
it's like well it doesn't take that many
◼
►
stories where you go up geez like this
◼
►
really is like three days of the Condor
◼
►
it's really this is bad but all of those
◼
►
things you can see you can picture a guy
◼
►
sitting in his desk with a mustache and
◼
►
he's like he's got an assignment he's on
◼
►
assignment because i'm fairly specific
◼
►
assignment to like disrupt with pride
◼
►
bet for a long time a lot of CIA was
◼
►
causing chaos disrupt disruption and
◼
►
lack of trust in a given government
◼
►
yeah right before you say like we're
◼
►
gonna send in troops a lot of it might
◼
►
have been like something as simple as
◼
►
make the electricity go off a lot so
◼
►
people don't trust the government it
◼
►
would be that's an operational thing I
◼
►
could see people doing at ground level
◼
►
except you can picture you can picture
◼
►
five people in a in a meeting room where
◼
►
they closed the door and goes and then
◼
►
they totally flip some switch and the
◼
►
the cone of silence comes down and
◼
►
they're like okay here's what we're
◼
►
going to do but you can't picture five
◼
►
people in a room imagining the scope of
◼
►
we're going to we're going to turn
◼
►
colombian cocaine into a weapon to
◼
►
destabilize the Black Power movement
◼
►
it's just too it's too
◼
►
there there are too many things that
◼
►
have to happen that where the logical
◼
►
explanation is much it is much simpler
◼
►
to say simpler and more cost effective
◼
►
and more secretive way to do it that
◼
►
didn't require all of those contortions
◼
►
is is seeding contrails with chemicals
◼
►
the best way to do whatever it is you
◼
►
think these people are trying to
◼
►
accomplish is that the most effective
◼
►
yeah i'm at nana's it's bananas and also
◼
►
liked the story of the Colombian drug
◼
►
cartels that where they came up
◼
►
organically and found a market for this
◼
►
product and it it you know and there was
◼
►
a like that is a story Simon and we know
◼
►
did with them but there wasn't it's much
◼
►
more plausible that was just capitalism
◼
►
working then that anyone in the CIA had
◼
►
a big plan right and no soldiers came
◼
►
back from Vietnam and they've gotten
◼
►
hooked on heroin in Asia and that was
◼
►
that seems much more organic and natural
◼
►
and and plausible than that they were
◼
►
intentionally hooked on drugs by the CIA
◼
►
trying to ruin the inner city and so
◼
►
there's too many steps in a lot of those
◼
►
conspiracies for it for it to fort for
◼
►
me to believe that five guys in her in a
◼
►
cone of silence had the wisdom to
◼
►
foresee all of this stuff they're just
◼
►
in their line and keep it a secret all
◼
►
those all of those steps five guys could
◼
►
not cause that to happen by the rebels
◼
►
so there's a guy with the mustache and
◼
►
short-sleeved white shirts smoking of
◼
►
cigarette and he's got an idea and it's
◼
►
he's he never has the authority or the
◼
►
budget to pull off a big idea
◼
►
no one could ever say chemtrails and
◼
►
then have access to the black budget to
◼
►
create it right he'd have to take it up
◼
►
to the head office the head office is
◼
►
going to say well we've also we're
◼
►
trying to source trying to foment a
◼
►
revolution in the following six
◼
►
countries and we're trying to make
◼
►
Castro's beard fallout you know will
◼
►
give you a million dollars exploratory
◼
►
funds or whatever but you know so that's
◼
►
the that's the main stumbling block with
◼
►
most of those conspiracies like back
◼
►
trace it to the to the guy in short
◼
►
sleeve shirt that had the diabolical
◼
►
idea and then tell me there's any
◼
►
organization in the world where he can
◼
►
where he can get a powerpoint
◼
►
demonstration up where they give him the
◼
►
the six hundred million dollars to pull
◼
►
off his scheme you know right its and
◼
►
you'll find nobody finds out and nobody
◼
►
finds out why don't you like the way he
◼
►
the army cheated like the Chief of Staff
◼
►
of the Armed Forces doesn't have the
◼
►
authority to and the director of the CIA
◼
►
you know they have access to this money
◼
►
but they don't that it's not like some
◼
►
situation where they just sweep into a
◼
►
room and say here's the plan
◼
►
you know they're there bureaucracies so
◼
►
that's the that's the number one thing
◼
►
that causes me to say 99% of the
◼
►
conspiracy theories would require I
◼
►
would require a Blofeld mhm and there's
◼
►
there just aren't any Blofeld's that we
◼
►
well I mean I sergey brin alright just a
◼
►
magic word no that's okay okay we're
◼
►
gonna do that thing where you from the
◼
►
oh please this is the story of James
◼
►
Tooley Matthews i sent you a link in the
◼
►
robot 1797 he was the first person
◼
►
documented with what we now called
◼
►
paranoid schizophrenia
◼
►
oh and the guy who tended to him was
◼
►
this guy John Haslem who wrote a book
◼
►
about what happened with this fella and
◼
►
the thing that he believed was
◼
►
tormenting him and you'll see that the
◼
►
illustration that was made of this thing
◼
►
called the air low which is the thing so
◼
►
in the pre active electricity age
◼
►
this is the machine that was causing all
◼
►
this trouble so I thought you'd enjoy
◼
►
this but also would like to read you the
◼
►
name of the others lot of people of the
◼
►
book that John has them wrote about this
◼
►
because it's probably my favorite title
◼
►
this is often 1810 john hasn't wrote a
◼
►
book was later shortened to
◼
►
illustrations of of madness the full
◼
►
title original title illustrations of
◼
►
madness exhibiting a singular case of
◼
►
insanity and no less remarkable
◼
►
difference in medical opinions
◼
►
developing the nature of an assailant
◼
►
and the manner of working events with a
◼
►
description of tortures experience by
◼
►
bombs bursting lobster cracking and
◼
►
lengthening the brain embellished with a
◼
►
curious plate haha i love the word is
◼
►
ailment mhm so the heirloom as
◼
►
illustrated here as well as messing with
◼
►
this guy the torments included induced
◼
►
by the Rays of the heirloom included
◼
►
lobster cracking well which is a
◼
►
circular saw you get the lobster
◼
►
cracking under the circulation of the
◼
►
blood was prevented by a magnetic field
◼
►
stomach skinning an apoplexy working
◼
►
with nutmeg grater which involved the
◼
►
introduction of fluids into the skull
◼
►
his persecutors bore such names as the
◼
►
middleman who operated the heirloom the
◼
►
glove woman and sir Archie who acted as
◼
►
quote unquote repeaters or active
◼
►
warriors to enhance Matthews treat
◼
►
torment or record the machines
◼
►
activities and their leader a man
◼
►
bill or the King what you know as you
◼
►
describe that and and this has been true
◼
►
i think of is like an HBO show
◼
►
well yeah Wow actually start writing
◼
►
that script but uh but his description
◼
►
of his tormenters is it equips nicely
◼
►
with how I would describe a some of the
◼
►
cast of voices in my own head like there
◼
►
are like characters or invoices not like
◼
►
hearing voices but like points of view
◼
►
that you can punch of you that have
◼
►
distinct personalities yeah from one
◼
►
another right where were you
◼
►
you're walking along in here and you're
◼
►
quietude and some voice says uh it's you
◼
►
know a dummy over here
◼
►
yeah it's it's imperative that we do the
◼
►
following thing and some other voice
◼
►
that's the dumbest idea we've ever had
◼
►
and after a while II you have to
◼
►
acknowledge that these are separate they
◼
►
have separate viewpoints that and they
◼
►
have personalities enough to express
◼
►
yeah but but i never i do not locate
◼
►
those things outside my body and that
◼
►
whatever their torment it just it seems
◼
►
like a heated discussion there they
◼
►
aren't like and and in a way I don't
◼
►
separate myself from them except at
◼
►
curiously like who are your dogs not
◼
►
telling you to go out and kill the
◼
►
people in your mail route or something
◼
►
but but the different personalities that
◼
►
he describes in that you know just their
◼
►
character their character names their
◼
►
kid their player character named feel
◼
►
very familiar right that the one but the
◼
►
one that's leading the whole thing named
◼
►
bill for the king and over the king and
◼
►
LOL or the King you know uh that the
◼
►
various other sort of sort of traits
◼
►
that are implied by those names so so it
◼
►
it still feels like it still feels like
◼
►
consciousness and personality are on a
◼
►
continuum or on a some sort of bell
◼
►
where the vast majority of people are
◼
►
not aware of a of a chorus of voices and
◼
►
then as the as you get the trail off to
◼
►
a leading edge there are people that are
◼
►
aware of that of that group of voices
◼
►
but are managing them and then at a
◼
►
certain point those voices become become
◼
►
a distinct enough that they feel
◼
►
distinct from yourself
◼
►
well and then there are people that I
◼
►
guess on the other end who have no who
◼
►
have a singular voice very dramatically
◼
►
singular voice that there was that
◼
►
they're aware of everything that people
◼
►
who are aware of as the voice that is
◼
►
them or a singular voice that is
◼
►
external to them know a singular voice
◼
►
that they're aware of as themselves
◼
►
right there is no disagreement within
◼
►
within their own mind that there is a
◼
►
that there's a unity of self and and I
◼
►
guess my confusion is I don't know
◼
►
whether that unity of self perspective
◼
►
is at the at the peak of the bell curve
◼
►
and that's the majority or whether that
◼
►
unity of self is also a pathology at the
◼
►
far end well interesting other end of
◼
►
the scale supernormal quote-unquote or
◼
►
like a uniquely unusual to just have one
◼
►
yeah that that that that the that the
◼
►
mass of people but normal let's say
◼
►
involve some internal deliberation but
◼
►
not enough where you're saying that
◼
►
these are distinctive personalities that
◼
►
are arguing but more that you're like
◼
►
you know the devil and angel on your
◼
►
shoulder right there yeah did there may
◼
►
be two other perspectives that are kind
◼
►
of arguing with you but there's not all
◼
►
these you know i would i would describe
◼
►
my own mind as having between six and
◼
►
twelve voices depending on how quiet i
◼
►
am Who and maybe it maybe your your
◼
►
normal is is to in a good and evil and
◼
►
then there and then and then the other
◼
►
end of it the other pathologies just
◼
►
this hyper confidence in one's own you
◼
►
know the certitude of one's own mind
◼
►
i I don't know enough about and i don't
◼
►
i'm not sure that it's ever been
◼
►
investigated or discussed in that in
◼
►
but yeah but listening to a lot of
◼
►
schizophrenic descriptions i feel a
◼
►
kinship with the words they use I just
◼
►
don't I just don't know what it would be
◼
►
like to externalize that and and and and
◼
►
feel and be victimized by it and you
◼
►
know it here actually hear voices so
◼
►
there's nothing in those voices that you
◼
►
would find yourself feeling that there's
◼
►
a plausible reason to believe they're
◼
►
coming from anything except just what
◼
►
yeah my own my own nothings in like
◼
►
inserted distorted control their just if
◼
►
there's just factions of my own
◼
►
consciousness and it's part of the
◼
►
mystery of consciousness but but what's
◼
►
a what what seems it seems what some
◼
►
troubling is just I mean every once
◼
►
awhile be in the basement of a house
◼
►
usually a strange house i'll have
◼
►
headphones on i'll be playing the guitar
◼
►
into some kind of you know headphone amp
◼
►
I'm all tangled banking and I and it's
◼
►
night stark at night and I'm down in the
◼
►
basement making rock music in my
◼
►
headphones and i will hear John from
◼
►
well and I will flip off my headphones
◼
►
and leap across the room you know
◼
►
spinning in midair in total combat pose
◼
►
and I'm all alone and that's happened a
◼
►
creepy and each time I you know I flee
◼
►
the basement and I go upstairs kind of
◼
►
panting and like what the fuck why do
◼
►
you keep doing that weird voice why do
◼
►
you keep shouting in my ear when I met
◼
►
really having fun playing the guitar but
◼
►
other than that there's you know
◼
►
nobody's ever liked faster pussycat kill
◼
►
right and I and I wouldn't know what to
◼
►
I wouldn't know what to do if that ever
◼
►
happened I don't think I mean I think
◼
►
I'm long past the point where you would
◼
►
have an onset of that kind of mental
◼
►
illness so I am I so I feel like I'm
◼
►
wrestling with what I've got right my
◼
►
cards have been dealt and and it's and
◼
►
it's absolutely manageable
◼
►
well yeah and more curious to me what
◼
►
you're describing also is something i am
◼
►
thinking about an awful lot is that and
◼
►
it's it's very very loosely at length
◼
►
kind of related to certain ideas about
◼
►
mindfulness and maybe Buddhism but like
◼
►
there's what it's one thing to feel bad
◼
►
and it's kind of another thing to feel
◼
►
bad about how you feel bad I feel bad
◼
►
about why you feel bad and it's strange
◼
►
because how manageable it can be to not
◼
►
mind the fact that you don't feel good
◼
►
today and to kind of accepted as like
◼
►
well as you know just days good days and
◼
►
bad days but like the thing that really
◼
►
drives one if you like crazy is this
◼
►
feeling that like you're aware of the
◼
►
badness of how you're feeling
◼
►
it's not getting any better and it's
◼
►
going on over time you know what I mean
◼
►
or you're having this constant you have
◼
►
enough sort of presence of mind to doubt
◼
►
your own perceptions of things to where
◼
►
you don't trust it and you know you
◼
►
I mean that's helped to me it would be
◼
►
one thing to get to wear like you're not
◼
►
even aware of how like you helped me how
◼
►
about your dimension is or something
◼
►
like that that's awful for sure but to
◼
►
like see yourself going oh I I can see
◼
►
where this is heading it's not good
◼
►
that's the that seems like the worst and
◼
►
then you feel bad about of course that
◼
►
was what was you know that was what has
◼
►
been happening to me for for several
◼
►
years right where i would just look at a
◼
►
situation i go there is absolutely no
◼
►
despair inherent in this situation
◼
►
I'm just bringing it I'm bringing
◼
►
despair into my into mundane situations
◼
►
right if you if you're having if you're
◼
►
having a social encounter with something
◼
►
like that the thing is happening right
◼
►
now does not have any like valence on
◼
►
its own like I'm taking this what it is
◼
►
I'm in my own kitchen making a cup of
◼
►
there's no there's no despair it's all
◼
►
it's all in me and and and and in that
◼
►
sense like the the way that paranoia
◼
►
is it is explainable to me or it's it's
◼
►
it's I'm sympathetic to situations where
◼
►
you are you're socializing with other
◼
►
people and you are bringing despair
◼
►
because that that the tension when
◼
►
someone somebody else doesn't understand
◼
►
you the feeling of isolation from other
◼
►
the the feeling that other people are
◼
►
sharing love with each other and you are
◼
►
excluded from that like that all makes
◼
►
sense to me even if it's even if it is
◼
►
wrong but I can see where you would get
◼
►
pulled into that I get pulled into it
◼
►
all the time if there are five people in
◼
►
a room there are always going to be
◼
►
moments where I feel like though like
◼
►
that they are all sharing in something
◼
►
that I'm excluded from you and that's
◼
►
not always true sometimes I feel like
◼
►
I'm in the center of this of friendship
◼
►
but i'm always i'm always vulnerable to
◼
►
getting pulled out of it but if you're
◼
►
just walking in the forest and looking
◼
►
at the moss and you feel that that
◼
►
isolation and that that sense of not
◼
►
belonging then there that that's where
◼
►
that's the the bell ringer for me huh
◼
►
but it's like this is all this is a
◼
►
disease of the mind and i still may not
◼
►
allow the joco crews it's always very
◼
►
complicated because there are a lot of
◼
►
talented people and they're all together
◼
►
and there's a lot of collaboration but
◼
►
there's also a sort of like who's going
◼
►
to sit at the head table who don't know
◼
►
yet on of the absolutely who is
◼
►
you-know-who is Paul Tompkins going to
◼
►
choose to sit with and so everyone and
◼
►
to a greater or lesser degrees people
◼
►
don't care about it but you'll notice
◼
►
that people do care about it because
◼
►
they are first in the dining room to
◼
►
make sure they secure their seat and the
◼
►
right spot and that and and there are
◼
►
times when I can be high above that and
◼
►
just Marvel and laugh and enjoy the way
◼
►
people are and enjoy the kind of social
◼
►
and the kind of social craziness her but
◼
►
there are other times when you're like I
◼
►
would like to sit next to that person
◼
►
and chat and instead I'm sitting over
◼
►
it feels and I feel alone but but on
◼
►
this particular cruise I had a moment we
◼
►
were sailing out of a port like a
◼
►
Caribbean island that I won't name
◼
►
except to say that it's st. Thomas that
◼
►
I've already had a bad experience out
◼
►
and I didn't go ashore so I was on my
◼
►
boat and I was lobbying 12-time
◼
►
cannonballs at the port all afternoon
◼
►
and we're sailing out in the Sun has
◼
►
gone down and we're sailing past st.
◼
►
Thomas which is a beautiful island to
◼
►
appraise from a quarter of a mile right
◼
►
from offshore it's gorgeous and a at and
◼
►
the the harbor of amelie whatever the
◼
►
town is that we go into the it's one of
◼
►
those perfect harbors we're just like
◼
►
this is the most gorgeous place I've
◼
►
surely this town is a tropical paradise
◼
►
and you get onshore and it's just like a
◼
►
by tanzanite whatever there's nothing
◼
►
there but as we're sailing out of this
◼
►
Harbor and I'm what I'm looking at the
◼
►
sunset on the side of the hill and I'm
◼
►
seeing all these Caribbean houses that
◼
►
are perched on the side in a sort of
◼
►
jungle canopy or I'm not it's not jungle
◼
►
it's drier but like a a wooded canopy
◼
►
and it's this beautiful island and I
◼
►
realized that this was for certain
◼
►
number of people that was their home
◼
►
they were they born there and they never
◼
►
do anything else but for a lot of people
◼
►
this is there this is their fantasy this
◼
►
is this this is how they express their
◼
►
this is their ambition they worked all
◼
►
those years in Winnipeg in order to
◼
►
afford to come to this island and live
◼
►
in that house and that and the distance
◼
►
I felt from those people the feeling
◼
►
that I was looking at this hillside
◼
►
where thousands of people's fantasies
◼
►
were expressed in all these vacation
◼
►
homes and I felt no kinship with them i
◼
►
would not have a house there as that is
◼
►
not my fantasy nor my ambition and it
◼
►
and and different strokes for different
◼
►
folks right but but I felt so different
◼
►
from them that I had this sudden like
◼
►
feeling of tremendous loneliness was
◼
►
like how how can that be so how can I be
◼
►
so detached from that whole idea to 21
◼
►
day end up in a home on st. Thomas where
◼
►
there's nothing to do but sit on the
◼
►
porch under a slowly turning fan and
◼
►
drink gin fizzes nothing about that
◼
►
appeals to me and and watching that
◼
►
whole island just sort of like Rob I
◼
►
felt I felt so profoundly alone that I
◼
►
had to get out i had to stop looking at
◼
►
the island had to put on my shorts and
◼
►
get out of my cabin and go find some
◼
►
people and go up to sprinkles and get an
◼
►
ice cream cone because because I felt
◼
►
such a distance from humanity at that
◼
►
point and I don't know whether that's
◼
►
the same reaction or or a you know or an
◼
►
it feels very it feels very crazy in the
◼
►
moment but also i can't find fault with
◼
►
it when i try to explain that I don't I
◼
►
i find no I find no pleasure there and
◼
►
that is and there are and I guess what
◼
►
it was i I just I saw this archipelago
◼
►
of these places kind of stretching to
◼
►
infinity like this is one of the top
◼
►
Human fantasies to retire to a tropical
◼
►
island and I just was like no no no I
◼
►
would rather live in a shipping
◼
►
container buried under sand in the
◼
►
desert her with Fred Durst and dick
◼
►
yeah yeah and it's a yeah and of course
◼
►
one of the voices will always say like
◼
►
what's wrong with you dummy
◼
►
well that's exactly right i quite like
◼
►
what what is what is your problem
◼
►
why can't you enjoy tropical island like
◼
►
everybody else the only person that's
◼
►
that's not spent their whole life
◼
►
looking forward to this getting to do
◼
►
this thing nobody else gets to do that
◼
►
everybody wants to do
◼
►
why are you why are you not first of all
◼
►
why are you such a sad sack like what
◼
►
how can you not be thrilled to be here
◼
►
yeah yeah yeah I mean what's crazy about
◼
►
the joco Cruz is that i love it because
◼
►
my friends are there and we're making
◼
►
fun and I think the sea monkeys are
◼
►
great but to be on that exact same
◼
►
cruise ship going to that exact same
◼
►
itinerary where there were not see
◼
►
monkeys and I was not there with my
◼
►
friends would be my worst nightmare
◼
►
yeah and how can you be how can the same
◼
►
cruise be like so fun and so potentially
◼
►
miserable at the same time it's a it's
◼
►
it's really funny you know it's like
◼
►
what do I want to do I want to go sit in
◼
►
a cafe somewhere a and drink little
◼
►
teeny cups of coffee and read like like
◼
►
I guess really little histories of
◼
►
things read people's film reviews for
◼
►
her she should know why what what is
◼
►
well and it's it's funny cuz i mean i
◼
►
always favored go somewhere that is
◼
►
primarily a place to go for fun and
◼
►
that's different from the everyday stuff
◼
►
and like I always feel like I'm doing
◼
►
wrong and always feel like it takes me a
◼
►
and probably long time to get into the
◼
►
spirit of whatever it is and not just be
◼
►
somebody rolling their eyes on the
◼
►
no matter what I always feel that way I
◼
►
can't ever go anywhere once it looks
◼
►
just called vacation even though it may
◼
►
be something as simple as like just
◼
►
standard hotel for weekend somewhere I
◼
►
can't go anywhere once and be good at it
◼
►
I have to go there like three times to
◼
►
understand how to be somewhere like
◼
►
learn like what expectations to have
◼
►
here is the kind of fears the kind of
◼
►
activities that this place is excels at
◼
►
and here's the many many many other
◼
►
kinds of things that are just not a good
◼
►
idea to try and do here stop trying to
◼
►
get a good internet connection that's
◼
►
not expecting that this will be an
◼
►
authentic hamburger now go sit on the
◼
►
beach and drink a drink
◼
►
that's what this place is good for that
◼
►
might take me three quarters of the
◼
►
vacation to figure out but it also and
◼
►
so it makes me feel like a terrible
◼
►
person but it also makes me a student of
◼
►
all the other people who are doing it
◼
►
way like to get to our cabin we had
◼
►
walked past the guest account the
◼
►
library you know whenever you know I
◼
►
mean like there's an area walk past a
◼
►
little can follow the novel exactly i
◼
►
mean it is it's like a bunch and
◼
►
rulebooks it's up on you know it's it's
◼
►
under some guys boardgames and you would
◼
►
walk by there and see people who like we
◼
►
got a free cruise for doing this so we
◼
►
were there free so any I think least you
◼
►
know I was not felt like I was losing
◼
►
money which is another terrible feeling
◼
►
is going somewhere indication realize
◼
►
you're paying to go to awkward somewhere
◼
►
and but this room probably folks who are
◼
►
paying a pretty good amount of dough to
◼
►
be on this trip and a lot of times it
◼
►
wasn't sea monkeys with other folks who
◼
►
are not affiliated with that part of the
◼
►
group anyway not unusual to walk by and
◼
►
see like three to 10 people like sitting
◼
►
in the deck of a ship like reading a
◼
►
borrowed book in a library so I mean no
◼
►
these are not enough folks who are like
◼
►
like on the deck reading the book they
◼
►
brought these are people who are picking
◼
►
a can follow book off the shelf and
◼
►
reading it in a airless room inside of a
◼
►
cruise ship and I assume they're having
◼
►
yeah they're doing what they want to do
◼
►
right now or for that matter let's let's
◼
►
talk about like the was obviously a huge
◼
►
change in focus i guess over the years
◼
►
is the amount of gaming that goes on
◼
►
there are a lot of people who are like
◼
►
one of the lowest decks of the ship like
◼
►
in in the in a room with artificial
◼
►
lighting playing board games and having
◼
►
the time of their life
◼
►
yeah which is a bit but it's a very
◼
►
lively atmosphere very good arias and
◼
►
warm and every single person I met down
◼
►
there they're all weirdos they were all
◼
►
great they're all playing come to done
◼
►
shower or whatever and they are totally
◼
►
excited to explain everything like would
◼
►
you like to play we would be happy to
◼
►
explain this game to you
◼
►
well as their server social with each
◼
►
other right i mean they're having having
◼
►
so much fun great time because they
◼
►
found they found kindred spirits and you
◼
►
know and they don't have to i'm I I when
◼
►
I look at that game room I i see a lot
◼
►
of those people and I imagine them in
◼
►
their hometown getting a few friends
◼
►
from work over and saying hey you know
◼
►
let me show you how to play settlers of
◼
►
catan and their friends from worker like
◼
►
huh weird okay and they play it and then
◼
►
we play that iphone game we saw on Ellen
◼
►
yeah right the other half hearted
◼
►
about it and they're like me or I mean
◼
►
the and the best situations are ones
◼
►
where it's where it's a couple and they
◼
►
both are really into gaming but that
◼
►
feeling that they're coming from all
◼
►
over where they're like I've kind of got
◼
►
my little game group but you know to the
◼
►
people only come half the time and
◼
►
suddenly they're in a room where
◼
►
everybody is just as everybody
◼
►
recognizes that these games are as fun
◼
►
as I think that they're they're excited
◼
►
but they may be very excited about or
◼
►
even maybe say having developed of one
◼
►
of those games or work on the King so
◼
►
they're excited about that game but
◼
►
they're also excited about many of the
◼
►
other games but there it strikes me that
◼
►
they are equally as excited that
◼
►
everybody here is excited about games
◼
►
yeah yesterday just the idea of a bunch
◼
►
of people and this is a big thing in
◼
►
nerd culture is that there is like a
◼
►
good very big tent for letting everybody
◼
►
in his even vaguely interested in this
◼
►
and like that's ok it's a really nice
◼
►
part of their culture it one of the
◼
►
things that happened on the last cruise
◼
►
and i'm not sure if you were there but
◼
►
it happened again on this cruise was Ted
◼
►
Leo reading aloud from the silmarillion
◼
►
heard about this yeah and he did it on
◼
►
the first cruise and i was there you
◼
►
know kind of sitting at his feet because
◼
►
i want I i wanted to understand what Ted
◼
►
Leo was getting out of it and so I was
◼
►
like all right ne-yo really wants to
◼
►
read aloud from some really and I'm
◼
►
gonna go watch this because I you know
◼
►
like I'm curious about this guy and I
◼
►
want to see what what what he's on about
◼
►
and it turns out ted leo is a very
◼
►
articulate reader and he knows how to
◼
►
pronounce Elvis names
◼
►
wow he's he reads elvish names without
◼
►
any hesitation and he you know he has a
◼
►
kind of east coast accent ec definitely
◼
►
sounds like somebody from the east coast
◼
►
he sounds like a person a Connecticut
◼
►
person and not a fancy Connecticut
◼
►
person but he's reading this is reading
◼
►
The Silmarillion and I was transported
◼
►
like it was like I was a child being
◼
►
read to and I knew enough of this story
◼
►
like I was floating away on it and he
◼
►
was reading from it with such care and
◼
►
such conviction and i think that the
◼
►
cast of people that showed up to that
◼
►
first reading of the similarly and where
◼
►
a lot of you know a lot of the cooler
◼
►
people on the boat who are like ted leo
◼
►
yeah let's go listen to Ted Leo read
◼
►
about the superintendent and somebody
◼
►
might be something like he's here he's
◼
►
catering to the pandering to the nurse
◼
►
yeah he's on this boat and he and and
◼
►
he's got this nerdy thing that he's
◼
►
going to do and haha but he was utterly
◼
►
sincere read this book aloud as though
◼
►
he had read it aloud every day of his
◼
►
life and you know and breezed through
◼
►
that Tolkien ease a sort of almost Old
◼
►
Testament style of writing and and made
◼
►
it can make the story come alive and so
◼
►
this year when he said he was going to
◼
►
do it he was no longer kind of doing it
◼
►
up in the cool bar he was down in the
◼
►
game room in a in a conference room off
◼
►
the side of the game room in a totally
◼
►
windowless place the only reason you
◼
►
would ever go there's because you were
◼
►
on the cruise with like a Midwestern
◼
►
sales force and this was where they were
◼
►
having the powerpoint demonstration
◼
►
right that right the cruise ship has
◼
►
that stuff on there because that because
◼
►
they cater largely to conventions and so
◼
►
I go in the room and at this point
◼
►
almost everybody in the room is not a
◼
►
cool person who's there to see ted leo d
◼
►
something slummy it's a bunch of people
◼
►
that want to hear the silmarillion read
◼
►
aloud and the the room looks very
◼
►
you can hear a pin drop in there and he
◼
►
again reads like so so artfully from
◼
►
this book he's telling the story and you
◼
►
know that we've talked about the
◼
►
silmarillion it's it can be impenetrable
◼
►
but he's telling the story and you can
◼
►
feel the tragedy in it and you can feel
◼
►
and he never missed you never makes a
◼
►
mistake he never gets halfway through a
◼
►
sentence i believe and starts over again
◼
►
he's just like he's he's gifted and I
◼
►
had another expect another one of the
◼
►
10,000 experiences I've had interacting
◼
►
with that group of people it's like this
◼
►
is actually a real thing this has
◼
►
nothing to do with being a nerd
◼
►
this is a this is a beautiful moment and
◼
►
and that's what that's what those are
◼
►
all the touchstones of the jungle cruise
◼
►
for me when I'm with a group of people
◼
►
who are who are enthusiasts about a
◼
►
thing and then I realized that oh
◼
►
they're sharing in a moment of of human
◼
►
beauty that kind of his unrelated it has
◼
►
nothing to do with like the medium it's
◼
►
it's ultimately the message and it isn't
◼
►
a case where the medium is the message
◼
►
that the medium is is just the it's just
◼
►
the box so i think the captain saw we
◼
►
saw those lights fucking infos likessee
◼
►
doesn't I bet John I bet he doesn't tell
◼
►
everybody that story I got a feeling I
◼
►
got a feeling that was kinda special
◼
►
well yeah i think so too and as we know
◼
►
as we left I couldn't think of any more
◼
►
questions that i wanted to have an
◼
►
answer from a sea captain about like
◼
►
what's the weirdest shit you ever saw
◼
►
float up out of the ocean who rogue wave
◼
►
to grab rogue wave have you ever seen
◼
►
anything you couldn't explain and what's
◼
►
the biggest see you've ever been in like
◼
►
what else are you gonna say maybe save
◼
►
somebody from quicksand
◼
►
oh I did I did say you ever pick people
◼
►
up at you ever give her as your scanning
◼
►
this the Seas with your with your
◼
►
pleasure your camera nice captain eyes
◼
►
never find a guy floating and honor on a
◼
►
rikki-tikki-tavi know and he's like yeah
◼
►
we picked people up all the time
◼
►
oh and the other thing i said was GRC
◼
►
dark ships boats that have no callsigns
◼
►
boats that have no running lights danger
◼
►
boats and he said the only boats we see
◼
►
that are like that our Coast Guard boats
◼
►
that are out here lurking
◼
►
oh wow and and when we try to hail them
◼
►
or like Heil boat they go
◼
►
Shh get off and we tease them we teach
◼
►
them by getting on the radio and saying
◼
►
like aloha and they're like ixnay ixnay
◼
►
because they're out lurking around those
◼
►
Islands trying to find like fast boats
◼
►
who but but when I you know it dug a
◼
►
little deeper and I was like no no I'm
◼
►
talking about I'm talking about some
◼
►
dark dark ocean but that the tour of the
◼
►
oh ok i didn't know about this right
◼
►
yeah like just what you see is just the
◼
►
tip of the iceberg you know what I'm
◼
►
saying sure I mean it's like now
◼
►
no no it's just always it's always the
◼
►
Coast Guard this running around without
◼
►
their running SI nai what he's saying
◼
►
that he tells you well that's the thing
◼
►
we were we were pretty chummy at that
◼
►
point and I was you know I was kind of
◼
►
lean in a little bit i was like come on
◼
►
who's out here and he just he didn't
◼
►
blow it off like you know usually
◼
►
somebody in that position if they're
◼
►
going to blow something off because
◼
►
they're not supposed to talk about it
◼
►
they give you a little hint i know i
◼
►
think he's protecting you
◼
►
I think he likes you and he likes will
◼
►
especially well let's be honest let's be
◼
►
I think he's I think he's protecting you
◼
►
he doesn't want you to know too much I
◼
►
mean certainly doesn't want the
◼
►
information trace back to him but he
◼
►
also doesn't this you're not ready for
◼
►
this you're not ready to hear this yet
◼
►
maybe he's saying that he sees
◼
►
unexplained lights you don't think you
◼
►
would give me a little wink as he said
◼
►
like no there's no dark boats out here
◼
►
the darkness might have his wife in the
◼
►
closet with a gun to her head or
◼
►
something or similar whatever boat does
◼
►
in order to like you know I you know get
◼
►
you to do something on the secret form
◼
►
he thinks there may be microphones on
◼
►
the bridge of the freedom of the seas
◼
►
maybe he knows there's microphones on
◼
►
the bridge in the Freedom of the Seas
◼
►
right you might have been very clear
◼
►
about that you know we're listening
◼
►
every time somebody hits the button in
◼
►
the bathroom and my god I wouldn't have
◼
►
to watch that using james earl jones
◼
►
reaches over and pushes the
◼
►
that button and the torpedo explodes
◼
►
just shy of the boat and he says this is
◼
►
the last we're going to talk about this
◼
►
which movies at the dr strangelove dr.
◼
►
Strangelove was the one where the James
◼
►
Earl Jones wrote a submarine down and it
◼
►
exploded in a and it's his grandsons
◼
►
no it's not that yeah i think that
◼
►
captain would give me a little wink he
◼
►
just he seemed he's from fucking
◼
►
Winnipeg true right what does he have to
◼
►
what I mean what's he going back to ya
◼
►
right yeah it goes home or somen feeds
◼
►
his sled-dog or whatever
◼
►
only you understand me up you know my