Roderick on the Line

Ep. 191: "My Weird Money"


  this episode of rock on the line is [TS]

  brought to you in part by braintree code [TS]

  for easy online payments to learn more [TS]

  visit braintree payments calm / [TS]

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  checkout to get ten percent off square [TS]

  stays [TS]

  hello hi John I'm Merlin how's it going [TS]

  good good good good [TS]

  mmm SI get the coins there no that's my [TS]

  keys I I couldn't find my keys this [TS]

  morning so I picked up my other keys [TS]

  know when I got here my fob didn't work [TS]

  and then I reached in my pocket and the [TS]

  my first set of keys was right in my [TS]

  pocket right we're like I look they're [TS]

  16 times [TS]

  hmm how's that possible what happened [TS]

  somebody's gotta remember lots and lots [TS]

  it could be gremlins could be gremlins [TS]

  got thoughts on this [TS]

  noms who you know it's like they say on [TS]

  the Internet where first used a banner [TS]

  ads and then people develop banner [TS]

  blindness they called it which is you [TS]

  got so used to seeing this certain size [TS]

  ad unit that your mind kind of [TS]

  unconsciously skip past it [TS]

  oh yeah I'm i skipped past those certain [TS]

  sized ad units you do that unconsciously [TS]

  yes good all right did you do that [TS]

  unconsciously on purpose i do that [TS]

  unconsciously and consciously both [TS]

  that's terrific [TS]

  alright i wish i could do that well you [TS]

  don't you see them they are like in your [TS]

  eyes [TS]

  no no hmm now the bane unconsciously [TS]

  that's good [TS]

  my problem is that these days it's the [TS]

  easy pop over javascript window take [TS]

  over the world to get the app for the [TS]

  newsletter bohol well are we gonna talk [TS]

  about this today is that what you want [TS]

  to do today I'm writing down one word [TS]

  and running down Forbes one of Forbes [TS]

  Time magazine time when I can't sleep I [TS]

  can't see Forbes anymore they won't let [TS]

  me look at their website the venerable [TS]

  Time magazine has become a clickbait [TS]

  bullshit party [TS]

  ok i'm making click click bullshit okay [TS]

  great that sounds good [TS]

  ok so here's my thought well shit I have [TS]

  to write these down i know i know what [TS]

  did you do it now while you're typing [TS]

  them instead of writing them on a card [TS]

  was gone totally digital do everything [TS]

  digital now night when I want to leave a [TS]

  note in my daughter's lunchbox I do not [TS]

  a brand-new I [TS]

  iphone 6s plus so so DNA code to a [TS]

  paperless office there no should not a [TS]

  scrap paper here you've been here [TS]

  haha i wanna have a dial has Marvel [TS]

  dolls with dead dark eyes and a computer [TS]

  well that must be much more efficient i [TS]

  got a thought on this is this is this is [TS]

  a thousand flowers will bloom here [TS]

  because this leads to large larger [TS]

  thought technology for me I think when [TS]

  you look in your pocket 16 times and you [TS]

  don't notice your keys i think that's [TS]

  kind of like a form of banner blindness [TS]

  excluding magic which is something i [TS]

  think we could also talk about yesterday [TS]

  i tried to explain the difference [TS]

  between science fiction and fantasy to [TS]

  my daughter I'd like to get your [TS]

  thoughts on how well it was just okay [TS]

  don't know what you use when you say [TS]

  magic to me with a cat or well like the [TS]

  Magic's yeah magic come back to have got [TS]

  clickbait bullshit party and magic okay [TS]

  i think one thing that happens is a [TS]

  scene okay let me put a little bit here [TS]

  because I struggle with my family [TS]

  yeah well you know I really really like [TS]

  my family and they're great we get a lot [TS]

  of wonderful mostly get along pretty [TS]

  well but one thing that drives me a [TS]

  little bit crazy about my family is that [TS]

  they don't understand the basic [TS]

  innovations required to find something [TS]

  that they can't find oh yeah and so you [TS]

  know like the famous Mutt and Jeff comic [TS]

  they keep looking by this 111 lat [TS]

  because that under the lights good [TS]

  that's where the light is right okay so [TS]

  every morning that the following happens [TS]

  in our house [TS]

  ok brush teeth and hair I don't know [TS]

  where my hairbrushes ok alright i told [TS]

  you this before but we now have [TS]

  purchased I now have we have five of the [TS]

  kind of hair brush my daughter likes I [TS]

  figured we could deploy them tactically [TS]

  around the house and the law of averages [TS]

  would indicate would just turn up like [TS]

  scissors and scotch tape though it just [TS]

  disappears into some black hole [TS]

  presumably in my daughter's room [TS]

  well here's a here's a life hack right [TS]

  here yeah I'm ready [TS]

  yeah put on a chain like a bank well [TS]

  that's exactly what i was going to say [TS]

  except do it like a Midwestern gas [TS]

  station and and attach it to a license [TS]

  plate [TS]

  Oh hairbrush on a chain attached to an [TS]

  old license plates [TS]

  that's pretty hip not gonna get lost its [TS]

  guys got a throwback vintage quality to [TS]

  it huh clangs when she's brushing her [TS]

  hair [TS]

  kids love that and she can learn about [TS]

  geography chance change it up and it's [TS]

  like to play from Georgia it's a plate [TS]

  from massachusetts live free or die and [TS]

  so I i know there's no point [TS]

  my saying this to my daughter but I say [TS]

  I need the there's a couple facts and [TS]

  evidence the same facts and evidence we [TS]

  talk about every day no five of these [TS]

  which is not helping [TS]

  and you are literally the only person in [TS]

  the house that uses this hairbrush which [TS]

  means you're the only person who has any [TS]

  agency over what politte gets dropped [TS]

  into em and so then and this is where [TS]

  the whole family problem kicks in [TS]

  because then the the great quest begins [TS]

  its look a bit like a bildungsroman or [TS]

  Joseph Campbell you start wandering [TS]

  around the house looking for brushes and [TS]

  my wife and my daughter are like a [TS]

  confused rumba they both tend to circle [TS]

  in these two areas my wife keeps [TS]

  checking on the the table in the front [TS]

  hallway because that's where frequently [TS]

  where things end up just keep looking [TS]

  there [TS]

  my daughter just walks in a circle in [TS]

  her room kind of making a noise like [TS]

  this where and meanwhile i am i'm under [TS]

  the coffee table i am under the dining [TS]

  room table i'm looking behind the cat [TS]

  box because you know what we've already [TS]

  looked at places where it should be [TS]

  right in the to rumba of the house are [TS]

  are still you know like sharks in that [TS]

  area [TS]

  oh you just said cat box i just [TS]

  remembered that you have a cat now like [TS]

  a daughter [TS]

  whoa we have two cat boxes and in case [TS]

  the cat losses the first one one in the [TS]

  chamber but that doesn't do you think [TS]

  this week is my thinking is look you [TS]

  know we've already tried all the places [TS]

  where it should be and that's the [TS]

  problem the problem is that and then of [TS]

  course people say things like it's [TS]

  always the last place you look because [TS]

  normally people keep looking for 15 [TS]

  minutes after they found something that [TS]

  you just I think that's a eugene mirman [TS]

  bit [TS]

  oh really i know i don't think so but [TS]

  you sounded just like him [TS]

  Oh which is great to watch Bob's Burgers [TS]

  uh no I don't have to be okay [TS]

  neither am i watching my daughter's [TS]

  lunchbox for here's here's i see i'm all [TS]

  about life hacks you know me I'm all [TS]

  about solving problems i took a while [TS]

  but it seems to me that you are as we [TS]

  speak one of our great nations foremost [TS]

  progenitors of life hackery that's right [TS]

  you're always so you know what is the [TS]

  thing is you find a better way and you [TS]

  notice it and then you share it [TS]

  that's what I want to do no ads no ads I [TS]

  want to spread the love and here's [TS]

  here's my students my thought you're [TS]

  already clearly fully devoted to raising [TS]

  your daughter as a as a nerd as a [TS]

  I was like yeah because on the way to [TS]

  the new animated disney movie i talked [TS]

  about the difference i find magic and [TS]

  you're you're you're like pot committed [TS]

  to this right now uh when I pre actually [TS]

  actually actually am it's actually she [TS]

  knows she knows that this is the thing [TS]

  we're doing when she was 18 months old [TS]

  she was already wearing spider-man [TS]

  pajamas I looked at you with confusion [TS]

  and what is what is that was so it's [TS]

  already too late i can see it in your [TS]

  eyes what color spider-girl she [TS]

  spider-man let her be spider-man [TS]

  so my question is why have you not [TS]

  introduced the fanny pack into her [TS]

  universe does she not have a fanny pack [TS]

  oh dear fanny pack and is where the [TS]

  where the the hairbrush goes where the [TS]

  iphone goes the the the tiger balm the [TS]

  what else goes in a fanny pack your diet [TS]

  includes keys maxi pad you know the keys [TS]

  keys to the house the keys to the to the [TS]

  the barn you get you can put you like [TS]

  white cat you could drink chick you [TS]

  Caleb are key [TS]

  it's a couple of a couple of dead I [TS]

  dolls in there you probably carry a [TS]

  little well i mean she doesn't have [TS]

  comic books anymore would all be on her [TS]

  fone bone oh she's got comic books buddy [TS]

  all right we'll open a packet is big [TS]

  enough and fanny pack could be made out [TS]

  of supple a like goat skin right don't [TS]

  measure such a look like she's home [TS]

  school and here's the thing she'll know [TS]

  the difference between sci-fi and [TS]

  fantasy at that point just plain sight [TS]

  arena left well because you have people [TS]

  on the bus will say hey I want to talk [TS]

  about sci-fi fantasy she'll be part of a [TS]

  guild before you won't even have to do [TS]

  anything [TS]

  mhm so that's what I think it should be [TS]

  I think fanny pack is the way is the way [TS]

  to go baby packing packing packing [TS]

  packing so anytime things get confusing [TS]

  he's introduced another fanny pack just [TS]

  fanny pack and we'll be back in TM and [TS]

  you have a you have a fanny pack for for [TS]

  dress-up days you have a fanny pack for [TS]

  you know for sure you get one for you [TS]

  can wear to work day evening it slightly [TS]

  fancier the smaller one you keep a [TS]

  lipstick in there I'm the one that you [TS]

  were around the house is made out of the [TS]

  same material as your sneaky terry cloth [TS]

  yeah take like a fanny pack [TS]

  yeah I hear you I should see how she [TS]

  feels about fanny pack [TS]

  I my thing is I feel like in the absence [TS]

  of organization one of the worst things [TS]

  you can do is introduce more containers [TS]

  oh I see what you're saying way wait no [TS]

  no no [TS]

  yeah Merlin no I object [TS]

  this is dino and that that's kind of [TS]

  your problem shut up I don't want to [TS]

  talk about this anymore [TS]

  this episode of rock on the line is [TS]

  brought to you in part by Squarespace [TS]

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  Roderick online our thanks to [TS]

  squarespace for supporting rock on the [TS]

  line and all the great shows [TS]

  somebody said to me the other day about [TS]

  some product sunglasses do you want the [TS]

  box and I was like oh cool i want the [TS]

  box [TS]

  yes I want the box an animal god that's [TS]

  such a good size you can put so many [TS]

  things you put sunglasses in their [TS]

  regular glasses things that are smaller [TS]

  than sunglasses you put pins you can put [TS]

  wheat pennies i was at the store the [TS]

  other day and is there there's a little [TS]

  test little bit like a little buy it now [TS]

  kind of thing next to the cash register [TS]

  with it usually has candy bars and a USB [TS]

  Drive yeah right thumb drives and this [TS]

  one had little American flag pins so i [TS]

  bought two look like you could never [TS]

  have kind of thing I gotta tell you [TS]

  that's the kind of thing where you [TS]

  should just buy a whole box [TS]

  it looks so much cooler on if you move [TS]

  some of your little tiny president's you [TS]

  can just put an entire full box when [TS]

  that building that look cool i've done [TS]

  with two things in my life one time I [TS]

  bought a whole box of carmex so i can [TS]

  have the box [TS]

  oh that's nice that made me feel like I [TS]

  think I got it gotten like a grant check [TS]

  around the time and I thought you know [TS]

  what [TS]

  carmex for everyone i will have comics [TS]

  in my home but alright thanks to people [TS]

  a step-by-step carmax problem like most [TS]

  Americans I remember it so i can tell [TS]

  you you're putting out like a cannonball [TS]

  other the worst and you know they'd like [TS]

  the internet it it creates the problem [TS]

  it solves and then the other want to do [TS]

  that with was you know the trees on your [TS]

  mirrors your car don't smell you know [TS]

  those uh those little pine tree things [TS]

  you hang on your rear-view mirror i know [TS]

  i just arrived on earth [TS]

  okay well those are coming for those [TS]

  little late nineteen eighties when I was [TS]

  pretty into those they don't remember [TS]

  they came on a really cool like [TS]

  completely vintage retro look hardboard [TS]

  stem yeah i mean it looked like on it [TS]

  wasn't even like fake retro it looks [TS]

  like they literally had not like CarMax [TS]

  it looks like they hadn't updated in [TS]

  years right and he's out one of those [TS]

  well they were like fight a lot of times [TS]

  you go into the store and see the kid [TS]

  his 50 nearby these five can also take [TS]

  the stand [TS]

  oh yeah yes i've done that i have owned [TS]

  fanny packs [TS]

  um alright I'm here I'm listening yeah [TS]

  i'm sorry i'm just trying to pop stack [TS]

  here we got a lot to cover got magic get [TS]

  Barton Keyes well pop the stack [TS]

  that's a giant turkey the term um fanny [TS]

  pack and you so anyway I you know I'm [TS]

  alone in this [TS]

  I but the thing is everybody else in the [TS]

  family does everything so much better [TS]

  than me that I really can't get that [TS]

  kept us from high ground about the hair [TS]

  brushes i literally bought more i went [TS]

  to amazon i bought three of this brush [TS]

  we keep in the closet if we don't tell [TS]

  her it's right oh that's a good one but [TS]

  seeing you know this is and this goes [TS]

  back to the question was gonna ask you [TS]

  which from the very beginning which is [TS]

  do you when you arrive at your home when [TS]

  you take off your pants do you generally [TS]

  put your pants and life related stuff in [TS]

  the same spot every time because i think [TS]

  that's important [TS]

  uh do i do it because you think it's [TS]

  important no and start over [TS]

  um week I understand what you are asking [TS]

  I have a key bowl my life changed when i [TS]

  introduced one technology into my house [TS]

  which is a bowl that we liked a lot that [TS]

  had a small crack in it so it no longer [TS]

  had the performance characteristics of [TS]

  an eating Bowl that's right had great [TS]

  characteristics of the stuff from your [TS]

  pockets bowl [TS]

  yeah it's always in the same place in my [TS]

  home and it's always exactly where I [TS]

  take off my car hard hat i stick my [TS]

  wallet my passport my notebook my [TS]

  headphones my pen my keys and anything [TS]

  else I have in their maxi pads or [TS]

  whatever I stick them all into the Hat [TS]

  and hackers in a dish i have several [TS]

  coffee mugs all of which have either [TS]

  broken their handles or have cracks in [TS]

  them and make them unusable that are all [TS]

  filled with different collections of [TS]

  vintage ballpoint pens you see you kind [TS]

  of organized separate amount for sure [TS]

  and then everyone will have to go [TS]

  through and column you know the picture [TS]

  over here the paper makes her over here [TS]

  when I don't do it by brand i do it by [TS]

  sort of you know like this will say like [TS]

  Al's defunct auto supply place [TS]

  Barney's typewriter repair shop I mean [TS]

  all these things that like don't exist [TS]

  anymore but they used to give away pens [TS]

  but I i have a qia promotional pens [TS]

  emotional pain but the funny one like a [TS]

  my kids a orthodontist gives us one of [TS]

  those funny ones that got a bend in it [TS]

  yeah I don't you be funny for a [TS]

  chiropractor not sure what it means for [TS]

  three ghosts [TS]

  I well your teeth are all fucked up is [TS]

  what it means but here's what you'll [TS]

  give me all of the money but no I don't [TS]

  have any funny pins i don't want to [TS]

  fucking funny pin no keep your funny pin [TS]

  somebody somebody else in the world's [TS]

  got a collection of funny pens [TS]

  yeah and if i get if i was part of a [TS]

  network which I should be when I found [TS]

  one of those things i could give it to [TS]

  that guy and he could give me good that [TS]

  would be Jason version of the black list [TS]

  is a way to share the dumb shit you have [TS]

  that somebody else said you have to have [TS]

  promotional pens from auto parts stores [TS]

  uh I want those remember somebody that's [TS]

  gonna be part of your estate someday [TS]

  someone will be paid to write all that [TS]

  on a piece of paper in general by it or [TS]

  sure but I so i have a bowl and it's a [TS]

  silver bowl and it is full of keys and [TS]

  then i have one of those long long sushi [TS]

  plates that's meant long thin sushi [TS]

  plate that's meant to have like a dragon [TS]

  roll all I could get too cocky or a [TS]

  rainbow roll on a big long rainbow roll [TS]

  plate except it's really no really nice [TS]

  you can you can find those that are like [TS]

  gorgeous look curved up on the sides [TS]

  turned up on the sides got dimples its [TS]

  hand you know that the blaze is like [TS]

  intentionally uneven what sabe and a [TS]

  little wabi-sabi and that so that's not [TS]

  much longer plate than the silver ball [TS]

  where my active keys go and the the [TS]

  wabi-sabi plate is for inactive keys now [TS]

  inactive keys are interesting inactive [TS]

  keys are the two vespa keys which I'm [TS]

  not currently driving because it's [TS]

  winter and also they're not running but [TS]

  they're the only two keys to those to [TS]

  vespers that exists in the world i have [TS]

  never had duplicates made in owning [TS]

  those things for 35 years I have never [TS]

  had a spare key made [TS]

  so I cannot lose those best cookies then [TS]

  that the spare keys for the RV the spare [TS]

  keys for the house or in the inactive [TS]

  wabi-sabi [TS]

  plate and then there are a couple of [TS]

  heirloom keys [TS]

  oh I got this right like when I was a [TS]

  kid I was a latchkey kid I wore a house [TS]

  key around my neck on a red piece of [TS]

  yarn and i still have the key on the [TS]

  yarn and I keep that in my interactive [TS]

  key why we saw be played just because [TS]

  conceptually this is really smart you [TS]

  got the active keys and get the inactive [TS]

  it was an active keys what he calling [TS]

  inactive wabi-sabi keys [TS]

  yep but you know where they are there's [TS]

  one place where that stuff goes [TS]

  yep then I have no it doesn't go [TS]

  anywhere else it does not when I walk in [TS]

  the door the keys go clink I hear the [TS]

  satisfying clink of that so did John I [TS]

  meet people who do not adhere to this [TS]

  system and I just can't imagine what [TS]

  chaos their life must be here's another [TS]

  life hack [TS]

  I we look like make the life hacks [TS]

  episode i think we're gonna have enough [TS]

  that we could probably we could probably [TS]

  monetize this ok alright what will hack [TS]

  it well we should come up with the [TS]

  website for growth Hackett i have a [TS]

  giant not giant that's that's a that's a [TS]

  misnomer but i have a remember those old [TS]

  plastic pictures from the seventies that [TS]

  we made kool aid in or you would take up [TS]

  that you take a container of frozen [TS]

  orange juice concentrate and you would [TS]

  plop it in a bit plastic picture and [TS]

  then you had three cups of water and a [TS]

  friend temper with the attorney top [TS]

  there you go it's the tupperware one [TS]

  with the tourney top that exact size and [TS]

  shape but it's made out of blueglass [TS]

  translucent blue glass and that is [TS]

  sitting right next to my door front door [TS]

  and into that goes every receipt that I [TS]

  have accumulated during the day [TS]

  oh so all the receipts in my pockets in [TS]

  my wallet every little note of a [TS]

  transaction of any kind first thing I do [TS]

  when I walk in his open it up dump all [TS]

  of the receipts on you know like I make [TS]

  no attempt to organize them or flowers [TS]

  for its just respect I'd say it's a [TS]

  receptacle [TS]

  that's right and all mail that I don't [TS]

  want to open right that second [TS]

  wow you know you just you just made [TS]

  yourself an inbox [TS]

  Kapow it all goes into the blue jar you [TS]

  are literally getting things done [TS]

  trademark and and the blue jar is not a [TS]

  inbox it's not a pile of [TS]

  undifferentiated mail it's not a it [TS]

  doesn't look like some garbage [TS]

  it's a beautiful blue Vaz that is just [TS]

  tinted darkly enough that you can't [TS]

  really tell that it's full of envelopes [TS]

  and receipts so it's decorative and it [TS]

  makes me feel and also it's just small [TS]

  enough that after it's got let's say 11 [TS]

  envelopes in it you gotta do something [TS]

  about it it's it's it's got all kinds so [TS]

  it's it's decorative its functional and [TS]

  it's super functional because when it's [TS]

  full you know it's time to look at your [TS]

  mail [TS]

  yeah you look at email you got to do [TS]

  something you got to go in there and [TS]

  then sorted out and flatten all those [TS]

  receipts out and write little words on [TS]

  them so those are those are systems the [TS]

  wallet in the pants system is leave the [TS]

  wallet in yesterday's pants [TS]

  yeah because today [TS]

  hmm i am not so far from yesterday that [TS]

  i can't remember yesterday's pants it it [TS]

  works especially if you wear the same [TS]

  pants every day but it's got problems [TS]

  what happens is it can fall out at my [TS]

  wallet cannot fall out of my pants you [TS]

  got like grip tape on there [TS]

  no I have you know a big wallet you get [TS]

  a big wallet i got a big wallet i'm also [TS]

  a big man and I where Taipans in tight [TS]

  pants so the wallet is somewhat you know [TS]

  you know the way if you wet a piece of [TS]

  paper and you lay it over something then [TS]

  the paper dries it dries it can you know [TS]

  the new shape of the paper is the shape [TS]

  of the thing that you later on who [TS]

  that's true of my pants [TS]

  my pants were like wet paper at one [TS]

  point and now they are dried into the [TS]

  shape of my wallet [TS]

  okay right right my pants right well [TS]

  this is the thing I'm sure our listeners [TS]

  we should share with them that you know [TS]

  it the light one of the big life [TS]

  accident if it works for you go with it [TS]

  if you don't mind your paper your pants [TS]

  being like paper keep your wallet there [TS]

  except there's a corollary to that which [TS]

  is if it works for you but it's wrong [TS]

  don't do it that's true that's like Jack [TS]

  right right yeah i guess for me it seems [TS]

  to me like you're carrying a utility [TS]

  belt worth of stuff your what did you [TS]

  say you're like my my wallet and my [TS]

  flashlight and my my multi-tool got a [TS]

  blackberry might find knows member [TS]

  nataliemarie nunchuck ooh I sunglasses [TS]

  and might slightly less tinted [TS]

  sunglasses and my normal glasses yeah [TS]

  that's true hair bows and you're just [TS]

  you're unloading your your pockets every [TS]

  day and it seems like frankly you're [TS]

  asking yourself why not the backpack [TS]

  well or the or the fanny pack the [TS]

  utility belt I just don't know about [TS]

  what if you had a police utility belt [TS]

  where your flashlight with that would be [TS]

  that we leather on it that we leather [TS]

  several pockets can see on the cops near [TS]

  her house and I admire and i think [TS]

  that's that's nice because you can take [TS]

  that off and everything is in there [TS]

  so what would so what kind of life would [TS]

  that be if you showed up at some [TS]

  software devcon some sort of you know [TS]

  group group meet for whatever calling it [TS]

  now [TS]

  openoffice plans don't think the spark [TS]

  if it's for something by george orwell [TS]

  and crew concept pack you got a group [TS]

  group pack write bak TM got a belt khan [TS]

  and you show up and and you're wearing a [TS]

  utility belt that's got a little like a [TS]

  holster for everything but it's not like [TS]

  a jokey look at me i'm batman Bell this [TS]

  is a real this is a grown man's utility [TS]

  belt Batman utility belt maybe maybe you [TS]

  have or we have one of our friends our [TS]

  fans who makes this type of thing to [TS]

  make like an artisanal know it exists [TS]

  start with start with the filson double [TS]

  belt right and then build out from there [TS]

  and all of a sudden [TS]

  who's the superhero right look yeah you [TS]

  look like a cross between a comic book [TS]

  nerd and Cyclops from the x-men comics [TS]

  you know there are at least if i'm not [TS]

  mistaken [TS]

  see I don't know I don't know your whole [TS]

  universe here I don't know which [TS]

  university are in white fellow writer [TS]

  616 whether it's Universal or yeah [TS]

  Marvel only sony new line [TS]

  but my question is there are some [TS]

  superheroes who have supernatural powers [TS]

  that they get from UFOs or are or [TS]

  mutants or magic this gets to my [TS]

  conversation magic with a que magics [TS]

  with the k-9s then there are superheroes [TS]

  that have technology-assisted superhero [TS]

  powers [TS]

  yes that they have a they are [TS]

  billionaires usually and disturbed and [TS]

  they have a lab and they build some like [TS]

  Doc I or you could just be a rich psycho [TS]

  rich psycho and so then there are [TS]

  they've got their robot arms and they're [TS]

  out fighting somebody that's got that's [TS]

  got like many magical UFO power and [TS]

  somehow they're evenly matched enough [TS]

  that that the comic book never ends with [TS]

  the like the gruesome death of one of [TS]

  the other you don't see you really like [TS]

  a three-page comic we just write the [TS]

  living shit out of somebody gonna knock [TS]

  and it's like laser eyes [TS]

  oh the next time true believers up so [TS]

  you need to start embracing the fact [TS]

  that you that you you're probably not [TS]

  going to become a mutant at any time but [TS]

  you could any more of them you're not [TS]

  going to come from using a useful way [TS]

  right but you could be like a like a [TS]

  crazy scientist style superhero and I [TS]

  think that starts with the utility belt [TS]

  yeah cuz cuz that the rejection of your [TS]

  peers is a nice way to get you good and [TS]

  angry about using your science see [TS]

  really good you know what we could do [TS]

  that right into my daughter I could use [TS]

  the guys like a boy named sue type [TS]

  situation yeah you make her crazy i'll [TS]

  make horrible i'm a carmaker completely [TS]

  objectionable the key thing also is to [TS]

  make somebody the kind of nervous even [TS]

  nerds don't like well what about what's [TS]

  the story with the green onion or [TS]

  whatever the guy that with the buttons [TS]

  please ring in the onion fists and vista [TS]

  lantern and that gives an onion powers [TS]

  yeah exactly the one that was writing [TS]

  like this the the it's not a surfboard [TS]

  it's more like one of those hoverboards [TS]

  except it's green and he's mean he's got [TS]

  a long chin [TS]

  yeah that's the guy that's in Deadpool [TS]

  now there's no she was the key play the [TS]

  green onion few years ago [TS]

  well so that's army green onions event [TS]

  that and then but he's got a lead on [TS]

  he's also be he would be great giveaway [TS]

  that iron be coming from very come [TS]

  agreed I the green onion uh he's a [TS]

  mutant who also uses technology now [TS]

  that's all separate category think he [TS]

  got gifted with space powers [TS]

  oh and this is this is that's an [TS]

  interesting edge case we're talking to [TS]

  my daughter about this which we should [TS]

  come back to later [TS]

  yeah uh but I think you feel how I see [TS]

  what you're saying that I see what [TS]

  you're saying the the the pouches and [TS]

  and belt deployment is a good idea see I [TS]

  think of this in these layers or [TS]

  concentric circles and like IE and this [TS]

  is a little bit of that means to be a [TS]

  george carlin pit but it ends up kind of [TS]

  being that but you've got the stuff that [TS]

  you always have to have on you looking [TS]

  at the most most basic level for me okay [TS]

  look for example i had to run home right [TS]

  before we started recording our program [TS]

  to pick up something that amazon had [TS]

  left I didn't bring even my usual go [TS]

  pack [TS]

  I brought my phone right with my [TS]

  headphones on because listen to a [TS]

  podcast as you do your golden lasso [TS]

  gotta go last night about my keys [TS]

  because that's really all I needed to [TS]

  like you know good cover that small [TS]

  distance botanic and this paddle ball [TS]

  game and this trip my favorite chair but [TS]

  it's normally I have all the things i [TS]

  described like that I store my hat at [TS]

  home that's on my body now there are a [TS]

  lot of people you let something like [TS]

  let's go back yeah what you store them [TS]

  in your hat sure storm hackles echoes in [TS]

  the bowl [TS]

  oh you put the stuff in the Hat the Hat [TS]

  goes in the bowl yeah i have about eight [TS]

  carhartt caps but i have one going at a [TS]

  time but didn't you just tell me that [TS]

  that that container fatigue is a problem [TS]

  yes I had another container ok well [TS]

  here's what I think container fatigue is [TS]

  a problem like for example you go like [TS]

  oh I keep losing my keys or I keep [TS]

  forgetting my wallet i'll keep my wallet [TS]

  in this container and i'll keep my keys [TS]

  in this container and now I'm organized [TS]

  i see so that hat is like a catch-all [TS]

  the problem is and the United shaking a [TS]

  little bit into a different life happy [TS]

  part of my life but I think part of the [TS]

  problem is when somebody somebody starts [TS]

  with the idea of wanting to be as they [TS]

  say organized and most people think of [TS]

  organization as taking all of the [TS]

  unnecessary shit in their house roughly [TS]

  sorting it into piles and then buying [TS]

  new clear plastic boxes to stick it [TS]

  that's not organization well wait a [TS]

  minute what if you take all the stuff in [TS]

  your house [TS]

  roughly sorted into piles and then put [TS]

  in vintage cigar boxes that's different [TS]

  that's different but that's thank you [TS]

  because you know part of before you [TS]

  organize you have to you have to like [TS]

  throw out you have to give away like you [TS]

  should only keep these things that are [TS]

  very valuable to you except in your case [TS]

  it's valuable [TS]

  well yeah I'm the thing is when i'm [TS]

  organizing stuff in my house it with it [TS]

  I have no intention of trying to to work [TS]

  more efficiently or to have things be [TS]

  more useful [TS]

  I'm just organizing them for the pure [TS]

  joy of the act of sorting things into [TS]

  boxes that's like that's like sudoku you [TS]

  know for pens that's exactly what it is [TS]

  in fact when I first started playing [TS]

  sudoku a good friend of mine Chris [TS]

  camellia looked over my shoulder for a [TS]

  while he was like it's like doing the [TS]

  dishes you've given yourself that you've [TS]

  given yourself a pointless chore but you [TS]

  don't even have clean dishes at the end [TS]

  I i had a work-study job my first [TS]

  semester in college working at the [TS]

  library so i worked at the desk which [TS]

  has been super easy but the one part [TS]

  that I kind of enjoyed was shelving [TS]

  books because I there's something you [TS]

  know I'm just saying man like we like to [TS]

  think we're like oh you know the the [TS]

  smartest kid in the class but like it's [TS]

  really sometimes it's nice to do [TS]

  something a little bit mind-numbing now [TS]

  we're back to csikszentmihalyi and the [TS]

  graph but I just say except me hiding [TS]

  behind the graph remember you got your [TS]

  challenge vs your skill [TS]

  oh IC like the thing is though it was [TS]

  really I I thoroughly enjoy arriving in [TS]

  the evening and therefore the evening [TS]

  till closing time at the library and [TS]

  somebody's already prepared a like a [TS]

  professional librarian has prepared a [TS]

  large cart full of books that have to go [TS]

  on the shelves and then losing time [TS]

  yeah you don't have to get books just [TS]

  give us your school ID no school ID had [TS]

  my ass are securing a broad what [TS]

  yeah all those older days four days so [TS]

  and I would do my thing i would go in [TS]

  like a lot of people hated this is [TS]

  considered a drudgery but i love i love [TS]

  the ritual of get the cart go over the [TS]

  elevator go upstairs and then you go to [TS]

  start the acer liquid phase I was going [TS]

  to be I was a beam it later but you are [TS]

  then you go all the way through and you [TS]

  and so what you get to do you get to [TS]

  like see you pick up a book and you look [TS]

  at it for a second and you know this is [TS]

  not complicated work [TS]

  nobody's really like as long as you [TS]

  don't throw the books away you're not [TS]

  gonna get in trouble you can take as [TS]

  long as you want you look at the books [TS]

  you open up your love you pull out the [TS]

  card to see like when I first arrived in [TS]

  the first class you know [TS]

  oh I stole a car from a book once a book [TS]

  of The Collected Poems of AE Housman [TS]

  that have been checked out my best [TS]

  friend's dad in 1966 that's friend mr. [TS]

  you don't get that anymore [TS]

  sometimes i will buy books that [TS]

  remainder sales that still have the card [TS]

  and that love the Cardinal pencils are [TS]

  smeary when that weird thing where it's [TS]

  like this book was checked out seven [TS]

  times between 1953 in 1956 and then it [TS]

  wasn't checked out again until nineteen [TS]

  seventy-eight who it's like why was this [TS]

  book so popular for three years in the [TS]

  fifties and then sat on the shelves for [TS]

  25 and that's that's part of your [TS]

  education and it's free it's free [TS]

  mm so you get to pick up the book you [TS]

  look at me saying this is an interesting [TS]

  book you look at the table of contents [TS]

  like a gentleman flip through the index [TS]

  this is how you start a book that's when [TS]

  you go okay i'll put on the shelf and [TS]

  you go to be n then this or 335 you go [TS]

  any fighting you say it was a make or [TS]

  Mac like where does it go to go here we [TS]

  do that anybody's ever color plate to do [TS]

  it when you do that over and over again [TS]

  like 80 to 200 times that's a nice way [TS]

  to spend an evening [TS]

  oh that's the sweetest thing about the [TS]

  car all day you get to go to put books [TS]

  on shelves literally the sexiest [TS]

  conversation we've ever had [TS]

  so satisfying and that thing is that [TS]

  it's a job that anybody could do but it [TS]

  isn't a job that anybody wants to do [TS]

  it's a job that anybody could do all [TS]

  these people coming from Mexico taking [TS]

  our bookshelf hard requires that you [TS]

  know the alphabet [TS]

  uh-huh but it's a job that it's a job [TS]

  that is so specific and weird that it [TS]

  actually is not only a major but like [TS]

  you can get advanced degrees in the best [TS]

  librarians the best really are so that [TS]

  librarians and project managers should [TS]

  run everything they're so smart i'm [TS]

  continually surprised by how many [TS]

  librarians I know because I don't [TS]

  actively go to librarian events right [TS]

  it's not like i said it's not like I sit [TS]

  on library steps and and then you know [TS]

  and like ask people what [TS]

  I'm as you librarian hey do you have a [TS]

  light [TS]

  I mean uh so but still like librarians [TS]

  they're all around me i know so many [TS]

  librarians and i don't think i know a [TS]

  single like a rifleman my might [TS]

  in any case I I feel like I feel like [TS]

  the utility belt because she left for [TS]

  the library you have library life hacks [TS]

  that you just don't know when your car [TS]

  like that show I don't have anywhere to [TS]

  put these things go ahead but that's [TS]

  right that's not my daughter this [TS]

  because she's not taught in schools like [TS]

  like pretty ready gonna get a book off [TS]

  the shelf [TS]

  you don't know if you're gonna want it [TS]

  Dez look at the book you take the book [TS]

  directly to the right of that book and [TS]

  you turn that book down on its spine [TS]

  check out the book and you look at it he [TS]

  can get gas where the book goes back on [TS]

  the shelf every Merrill maybe pick up [TS]

  his little buddy flipping over and [TS]

  you're done no harm no foul [TS]

  it was that your goals anymore it's just [TS]

  simple as life back in the world will [TS]

  change your life to do that in [TS]

  bookstores too because you know [TS]

  bookstores you're looking around like [TS]

  where is this where is a where's Jesus [TS]

  son again it's a very small book big [TS]

  books all around it that Chris for Lamb [TS]

  who wrote that [TS]

  no this is the Sun is that the one about [TS]

  Brazil know it's the one about it really [TS]

  jesus doesn't even appear in the price [TS]

  it is it the guy from almost famous [TS]

  he was in the film adaptation and this [TS]

  is the book [TS]

  yeah the books by Denis Leary Denis [TS]

  Leary yeah that's not the guy from the [TS]

  TV show [TS]

  no it's not guy who owns the restaurant [TS]

  different guy different gyno doctor en [TS]

  theories it's actually it's Roman [TS]

  Johnson Roman Johnson aroma Johnson [TS]

  wrote it [TS]

  dennis lehane Dennis Roman Johnson ok [TS]

  Dennis Roman Johnson methylation that [TS]

  the Denis Leary we know is the guy with [TS]

  the restaurant the Denis Leary we know [TS]

  is the guy with the restaurant [TS]

  you got a nicer he's a nice guy and that [TS]

  guy on some nice restaurants and once I [TS]

  think it once you once you pass owning [TS]

  like five restaurants who we got to be [TS]

  mad about it anymore [TS]

  a lot of miles on this time I think one [TS]

  restaurant you're mad all the time too [TS]

  strands who you're even matter three [TS]

  restaurants you can't there just there's [TS]

  there's so much to be mad about you [TS]

  can't be that mad [TS]

  it's like drug habits are children once [TS]

  you get enough of them it all just kind [TS]

  of evens out [TS]

  yeah you're fighting five restaurants in [TS]

  town anymore now you're just so you're [TS]

  sitting on a porch somewhere mode2 leave [TS]

  out what about a Chewbacca style utility [TS]

  I thought about it seat so you're not [TS]

  see you know what I'm talking about my [TS]

  talk about Cyclops he's alright he's the [TS]

  guy from the x-men wear the shoes the [TS]

  beam out of sunglasses [TS]

  oh i thought we were talking about the [TS]

  Cyclops that turns your wife into a [TS]

  pillar assault if she looks back as [TS]

  she's running away from your burning [TS]

  time you tell me Cyclops's in the book [TS]

  of show i'm saying that Cyclops lives on [TS]

  the Isle of roads LOL of course a giant [TS]

  maze constructed to hide the snake hair [TS]

  lady right and if you can answer the [TS]

  riddle like a fanny pack if you any of [TS]

  these questions you get his pot of gold [TS]

  and with the bottom of the pot of gold [TS]

  is in its actually a fanny pack of Kool [TS]

  and they leave a dollar bill into your [TS]

  pillow and now I know what I'm sorry i [TS]

  was confused you talk about that neil [TS]

  gaiman book new gods you go to on google [TS]

  go to google and Cyclops this guy Rob [TS]

  life felt the guy who invented Deadpool [TS]

  can't defeat to save his life he he also [TS]

  did a reboot of Cyclops to Cyclops has [TS]

  many many pouches and you can see he's [TS]

  got boys got quite a johnson onto but in [TS]

  one redo of 90 Cyclops he had all these [TS]

  pouches in the question how long has [TS]

  been what does he have in all of those [TS]

  pouches Cyclops got a lot of pouches [TS]

  you're saying alright I'm going to [TS]

  church I see some old-fashioned [TS]

  Cyclops's or Cyclops I you see he's got [TS]

  a little bit of ice got a Chewbacca [TS]

  suspender type situation hey I'm looking [TS]

  out here it's a marvel vs capcom I don't [TS]

  know what Capcom is see now if I the [TS]

  searches Cyclops on image [TS]

  oh there's a horrible photo on here so [TS]

  he's gotta being known as a kid with 1i [TS]

  this is awful [TS]

  he's what's really is terrible this [TS]

  Cyclops they are you talking about the [TS]

  Cyclops from the island of Rhodes it has [TS]

  one of the horn [TS]

  yeah I'm but I'm now looking at the one [TS]

  you're talking about which is a guy and [TS]

  like yellow panties and he's wearing a [TS]

  kind of you [TS]

  y shaped it's a new way sunglasses and [TS]

  tousled hair [TS]

  ok I see him yeah same he's very his [TS]

  musculature [TS]

  is impossible yeah right you see this a [TS]

  lot right where it's like no one could [TS]

  have risks that uh huh [TS]

  I mean his wrists alright yes our have a [TS]

  greater circumference that his needs [TS]

  how do you how would you draw that i [TS]

  would i would go back to I would go back [TS]

  to draw our school we got to talk about [TS]

  but also bring back to the the artist [TS]

  rob liefeld at some point is he's done [TS]

  some very special things with the human [TS]

  anatomy [TS]

  it's ok it is his people they look like [TS]

  oil oil barrels with oak trees forearms [TS]

  and in little ballet feet you can trophy [TS]

  goes way out of his way to find a way to [TS]

  not have to drop because when he does it [TS]

  it looks like it looks like a half a [TS]

  slipper falling off somebody's foot my [TS]

  question about Cyclops yeah the [TS]

  superhero is when he takes his glasses [TS]

  off and we see the laser beam you know [TS]

  it's never really clear what his Anatomy [TS]

  is does he has to wear the sunglasses [TS]

  because the Ruby quartz crystals in that [TS]

  enable him to control he has this little [TS]

  lever on the side that he uses to turn [TS]

  it to be able to turn the visor on or [TS]

  off because he with the glasses off the [TS]

  pending court what story of course he [TS]

  can control the beam shoots off you know [TS]

  with maximum power just like a microwave [TS]

  with no door was he a little baby but [TS]

  was like that he's got a brother they're [TS]

  both means he saved him from falling out [TS]

  of a plane but I mean when he was a baby [TS]

  what is when he was first born will use [TS]

  count everybody know most beings develop [TS]

  their powers around puberty [TS]

  oh so there was a day when he was normal [TS]

  kid walking around and then in the next [TS]

  morning he woke up any laser the ceiling [TS]

  of his bedroom he dated laser some [TS]

  things unintentionally ok pry just woke [TS]

  up one day with headaches and she was [TS]

  facing through walls [TS]

  he fell through the floor we'll see i'd [TS]

  be super into that fall through the [TS]

  floor but like laser eyes has always [TS]

  been a confusing thing for me don't want [TS]

  it because it seemed but but also they [TS]

  call them Cyclops but does he still have [TS]

  two eyes so that two eyes the Cyclops [TS]

  refers to the sunglasses pressure [TS]

  activated write the sunglasses so why [TS]

  didn't Professor X make like bicameral [TS]

  sunglasses for him while he has some of [TS]

  those sunglasses that he can wear when [TS]

  he's in civvies so if you're taking the [TS]

  kids to the museum's you know he works [TS]

  school so you can take the kids to the [TS]

  museum or something he works undercover [TS]

  at school [TS]

  well like they don't know he's a mutant [TS]

  it doesn't work very well because they [TS]

  still there still blow up the school [TS]

  every few years but sometimes the other [TS]

  their teachers you know it's the [TS]

  school's been running different times by [TS]

  Professor X by storm [TS]

  oh there's their teachers at a mutant [TS]

  school so I think I'm squeal school [TS]

  well yes I wonder where marker lives in [TS]

  Westchester County yeah but it's like [TS]

  behind a bit like a private school is a [TS]

  lot of problems 2 for example their [TS]

  basketball court has a giant jet under [TS]

  it and the Jets so if you live in [TS]

  Westchester Counties you just noticed a [TS]

  giant blackjack find out somebody's [TS]

  right that's right i mean there are a [TS]

  lot of david letterman's got a giant [TS]

  black jet that's got a Chevy motor in it [TS]

  but uh huh what we know who they think [TS]

  they're fooling i don't know i don't [TS]

  like let's do you think you're cool and [TS]

  you think it's over you know what is [TS]

  vanity is pure vanity I've had a fanny [TS]

  pattern with the what though the gambit [TS]

  but just recently died that used to play [TS]

  with prince whose at vanity [TS]

  oh I think about Polonia personnel [TS]

  Apollonia vanity who died [TS]

  vanity done what I think it was vanity I [TS]

  believe if apollonia died for that would [TS]

  be a whole other follow chili a favor to [TS]

  my one-time is kind of confusing [TS]

  you can't be serious did you know that [TS]

  little b the basedgod follows me on [TS]

  Twitter [TS]

  no kidding little little B little B why [TS]

  is God [TS]

  follow me on twitter i don't know what [TS]

  I'm not sure what we're talking about [TS]

  here and I but I got followed by an [TS]

  actress who's a adult work I've seen [TS]

  before the other day I'm really was [TS]

  can't say wouldn't say it's too much but [TS]

  a little bit older [TS]

  was it Annie sprinkle know I think I [TS]

  think she's gone legit now she's in [TS]

  legitimate theater know [TS]

  Oh Annie sprinkle is a is a renowned [TS]

  academic I'm not gonna get into this [TS]

  conversation did see I wasn't this is [TS]

  the first time in our whole friendship [TS]

  that you have admitted that you even [TS]

  know what adult material is oh no I mean [TS]

  you know you you're an adult you got [TS]

  about these things [TS]

  adult material i'm aware of the material [TS]

  right it used to be that there were [TS]

  newsstands that were just out on the [TS]

  sidewalk 10 kiosks and that they sold [TS]

  adult material in addition to the [TS]

  Washington Post so it's mainly vanity [TS]

  that you don't wear a Chewbacca style [TS]

  pouch belt but you know I've had that [TS]

  does not far off that for a long before [TS]

  i got all [TS]

  in my back hurt i would have messenger [TS]

  bag which is a terrible design for [TS]

  walking around the city it's not a [TS]

  design and what all you have to do is [TS]

  put one cell phone case and like in a [TS]

  beeper case [TS]

  yeah on your on the strap of your [TS]

  messenger bag and you're basically a [TS]

  Chewbacca ha ha ha [TS]

  um I remember one time I was at your [TS]

  house and there was a what'swhat's the [TS]

  messenger bag company that may have the [TS]

  little swirl for a logo in back to [TS]

  Timbuktu we have many many I know um we [TS]

  have a contractor but we had a [TS]

  contractor bag full of Timbuktu bags so [TS]

  it's a bag full bags i have a closet [TS]

  full of bags full of bags you got a [TS]

  closet full of closets what I wanted to [TS]

  my favorite pink floyd album i wanted [TS]

  haha this episode of rock on the line is [TS]

  brought to you in part by braintree code [TS]

  for easy online payments to learn more [TS]

  right now please visit braintree [TS]

  payments calm / supertrain if you're on [TS]

  mobile app developer and I know many [TS]

  probably dozens hundreds of you are [TS]

  please go and check out braintree his [TS]

  brain tree is the payment solution [TS]

  that's used by companies like uber [TS]

  Airbnb hotel tonight [TS]

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  can add a similar experience to your own [TS]

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  you'll be prepared as your company grows [TS]

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  Rangers even helping solve the problem [TS]

  of mobile cart abandonment by offering a [TS]

  best-in-class mobile checkout experience [TS]

  with brains you're going to get a full [TS]

  stack payment solution [TS]

  I mean support for all payment types [TS]

  your customers might want to start [TS]

  accepting paypal Apple pay Bitcoin venmo [TS]

  credit cards and more all with this one [TS]

  single integration they tell me it [TS]

  really is just a few lines of code that [TS]

  you drop into your app and then that's [TS]

  just going to go [TS]

  it's that easy and if you have any [TS]

  problems you can go contact us some of [TS]

  the nerds and boffins at braintree and [TS]

  they will help you out with their [TS]

  problem they are that useful there that [TS]

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  works across all platforms with superior [TS]

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  fast payouts to learn more and for your [TS]

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  and for supporting Roderick on the list [TS]

  i want a basement full of closets full [TS]

  of bags full of bags that's my dream was [TS]

  like the golden compass like what would [TS]

  I got world would that be the only [TS]

  pretty badass that would be fucking [TS]

  killer if I went downstairs and I was [TS]

  looking at a real estate listing the [TS]

  other day and had a big basement and I [TS]

  was like if i owned that big basement I [TS]

  would immediately build closets and [TS]

  those closets would have shelves and [TS]

  those shells will be full of bags and [TS]

  inside those bags with the bags think [TS]

  about like when you go to storage [TS]

  facility rental storage facility and you [TS]

  can pick what size you want to get the [TS]

  rolly door with a lock on it [TS]

  imagine like a bespoke home version of [TS]

  that innovation [TS]

  well I so this is the thing because of [TS]

  course as you know I spent a lot of time [TS]

  thinking about what I would do if I [TS]

  suddenly had five million dollars and [TS]

  euros duffel bag in a tree to double bag [TS]

  in the tree here i am now I've got a [TS]

  duffel bag full of euros and the reason [TS]

  i pick your nose is first of all euros [TS]

  coming larger denominations right there [TS]

  are 500 euro notes that are in regular [TS]

  circulation so if you are in Europe and [TS]

  you pull out of 500 euro note nobody [TS]

  blinks an eye [TS]

  so in all these games are talking about [TS]

  getting rid of the hundred in America [TS]

  which is insane that's insane we can be [TS]

  pains we got pennies but they want to [TS]

  get a hundred a fantastic bill [TS]

  yeah they should they should they should [TS]

  make a five-hundred-dollar bill they [TS]

  should totally make a [TS]

  five-hundred-dollar bill so in gangster [TS]

  movies and in all these movies where [TS]

  people are like here's a briefcase full [TS]

  of money and they open it up it was a [TS]

  bunch of hundreds i'm like if you were [TS]

  if you were doing that in Euros that bag [TS]

  could contain five times as much money [TS]

  yeah that's right you could have one bag [TS]

  that was like really full of money right [TS]

  a lot of money and so I always want my [TS]

  my my my fantasy bag of money is all [TS]

  is full of euros also euros are worth [TS]

  more than dollars which I which I object [TS]

  to personally [TS]

  yeah but I was just in canada and their [TS]

  dollar has absolutely fallen through the [TS]

  floor I don't know really because for a [TS]

  lot i first went to Canada we made a [TS]

  killing it was like a dollar sixty to [TS]

  the dollar and we were living large and [TS]

  then for a long time they had us they [TS]

  have speed pad they were at parity with [TS]

  us and they were looking down over there [TS]

  northern border around even imagine that [TS]

  having the same that's just unbelievable [TS]

  it was wonderful for them they were so [TS]

  glad they were like haha we are a real [TS]

  country now and then [TS]

  now their dollars just back down to [TS]

  being like the australian dollar no [TS]

  offense you're not gonna get that funny [TS]

  and and so it's back to being like every [TS]

  everywhere i went in Canada when I would [TS]

  buy something the person behind the [TS]

  counter would make some comment about [TS]

  like well must be nice i was like i mean [TS]

  i still have to pay for things and [TS]

  they're like yeah I know but are our [TS]

  dollars just pretend money again I'm [TS]

  like no it still costs money [TS]

  it's just less money right now US dollar [TS]

  is 1.33 canadian dollars [TS]

  yeah i think was a dollar sixty-nine [TS]

  2001 went to canadian for their what [TS]

  there was a time when it was appalling [TS]

  but yeah so anyway in a in any case and [TS]

  anyway who i am always thinking about [TS]

  those storage container facilities [TS]

  because when you have a ton of euros in [TS]

  duffel bags [TS]

  what do you do put them in your house [TS]

  yeah no it's too much it's too much [TS]

  matter to put in a safe-deposit box but [TS]

  you can't put them in a bank because you [TS]

  don't you don't have receipts for it [TS]

  right the tax implications of suddenly [TS]

  and it gets weird when you start dealing [TS]

  with large amounts of cash it gets weird [TS]

  that's why that's why there's such a [TS]

  thing as money laundering right sure [TS]

  so how are you going to launder this [TS]

  money that you got because you you [TS]

  encountered like a drug dealer shootout [TS]

  somewhere or you've been given this [TS]

  money in a duffel bag by a rich young [TS]

  industrialist has been listening to your [TS]

  podcast and credits the podcast with [TS]

  having given him this [TS]

  I need to become a billionaire he's [TS]

  probably got duffel bags of euros pack [TS]

  and just sitting around like so much [TS]

  carmax well it ready to dispense it to [TS]

  the did that person who thinks deserves [TS]

  it [TS]

  well presumably if he's listening to the [TS]

  right podcasts he has a whole set of [TS]

  filson luggage full of euros [TS]

  uh-huh and he's got it there with with [TS]

  the couple of guys in mind to give it to [TS]

  me just isn't he's waiting for the right [TS]

  moment right is waiting for the right [TS]

  moment but when that arrives [TS]

  how do you account for what do you do i [TS]

  don't so so what I want is a cared no [TS]

  more attention with others like you know [TS]

  for me this month that's once again [TS]

  every time i see well once again once a [TS]

  girl i said my Imperator furiosa once [TS]

  again anyway what I want but I'm i want [TS]

  some kind of storage facility where I [TS]

  have ready access to my weird money but [TS]

  where it's secure right i don't want the [TS]

  building to be I don't wanna at this is [TS]

  like one of those things where you say [TS]

  you make some deal with the with Jeannie [TS]

  where you say jeanie i want to live [TS]

  forever and then the new cancer [TS]

  yeah or the genies you know cuts off [TS]

  your arms and legs right it's like great [TS]

  now you live forever haha but it puts a [TS]

  dick on your forehead [TS]

  yeah I'm a fucking Jeannie booya and you [TS]

  don't want you don't want to have like I [TS]

  got all the money in the world and then [TS]

  my glasses broke and I'm all alone every [TS]

  my books or whatever you know you know I [TS]

  know what nme here's the thing i mean [TS]

  maybe a in terms of like the Henry type [TS]

  situation is it possible that that [TS]

  duffel bag was in the tree [TS]

  not because of malfeasance or [TS]

  nonfeasance but because they thought [TS]

  that was a pretty canny place to store [TS]

  some euros [TS]

  uh-huh right right you want to hide in [TS]

  plain sight it finds a lot like your the [TS]

  keys in your pocket last place you would [TS]

  look but that the terrible thing about [TS]

  the euros bag of euros is that you you [TS]

  would the genie would clay pit with the [TS]

  typographical error any give you a [TS]

  judgment bag full of greeks in which its [TS]

  you're better use your bag of euros you [TS]

  have a lifetime supply of euros joke's [TS]

  on us tavros the the terrible thing [TS]

  about it as you know would be if like [TS]

  for instance if you had a duffel if you [TS]

  have a timbuk2 bag let's call it full of [TS]

  euros that was in your house right now [TS]

  how calm would you feel right this [TS]

  moment this is the problem with money [TS]

  you know money most things to worry [TS]

  about [TS]

  you may not feel very calm know you [TS]

  would feel very stressed out about it [TS]

  you're very you're very exposed because [TS]

  you've got this money and it's sitting [TS]

  there and and so then you're like well i [TS]

  gotta move the money i gotta move the [TS]

  money to somewhere but then you're [TS]

  moving the money you do you don't feel [TS]

  comfortable doing that then you get the [TS]

  money somewhere let's say you [TS]

  let's say you know if you can see it and [TS]

  know and look and check in on it it's [TS]

  not really safe because it's too close [TS]

  and you can put it somewhere that you [TS]

  don't see it we're really is straight [TS]

  safe and it's obscured from where you [TS]

  can see it now you feel unsafe because [TS]

  you can check on it [TS]

  sure you go to the storage space and the [TS]

  two guys that are parking cars and [TS]

  Ferris Bueller's Day Off are working [TS]

  there [TS]

  sure and they're like what country do [TS]

  you think this is [TS]

  and then you go away or exotic just [TS]

  another simple duffel bag heist and they [TS]

  realize there's money in it and they [TS]

  realize there's a lot of money and a lot [TS]

  of euros and so where is it safe so then [TS]

  you become like this weird person we're [TS]

  all of a sudden this great bounty your [TS]

  wonderful money that's supposed to make [TS]

  you this supposed to free you from [TS]

  supposed to go to the you're supposed to [TS]

  go to the the Batman bank there or have [TS]

  the Joker watching for you [TS]

  well see but that's the thing that [TS]

  turned out remember the movie where they [TS]

  put all their money in the banks in [TS]

  Panama and then Johnny Depp all of a [TS]

  sudden didn't have his money anymore [TS]

  oh well you're wearing that black mass i [TS]

  think no I think there's that that this [TS]

  is this is a real story of like the [TS]

  big-time drug dealers of the of the [TS]

  eighties they kept all their millions [TS]

  and millions of dollars in noriega [TS]

  spanks because noriega was like sure man [TS]

  interesting i didn't know that [TS]

  and then there was one day where noriega [TS]

  just nationalize the bank's it was like [TS]

  oh [TS]

  we're nationalizing the banks and the [TS]

  drug dealers were like what I had like [TS]

  80 million dollars in there and he's [TS]

  like what you gonna do about it and it's [TS]

  like a whole you you uh hello [TS]

  your call is important to us you damn [TS]

  well do you know that you it is not me [TS]

  your call is important to us and then [TS]

  that come for a ride with me in my [TS]

  little mule i will take you to your [TS]

  money [TS]

  it is in this abattoir so anyway so at [TS]

  the end of this whole fantasy I'm just [TS]

  like you know what you should never have [TS]

  more money than you can carry in a [TS]

  Chewbacca bandolier oh right because you [TS]

  get you should it's like it's like [TS]

  sewing Krugerrands into your vest if you [TS]

  had the but the problem with the crew [TS]

  grand vest is a borrow your vest [TS]

  well not only that but how what if you [TS]

  want if you have to cross a river right [TS]

  now you got two career and vest on and [TS]

  it's one of these it's like it's like a [TS]

  biblical story right where you drown [TS]

  because you don't want to take your your [TS]

  career and vest off and then whose only [TS]

  true values property [TS]

  I've seen that exact thing is on my [TS]

  jacket this morning was the exact quote [TS]

  was that quote that's a quote from you [TS]

  it's something you set your family [TS]

  instead she was like the only yeah the [TS]

  only wealth is the only true wealth is [TS]

  probably true wealth is properly so [TS]

  we're waiting for the train to come and [TS]

  i say i don't know this is exactly the [TS]

  right definition but here's my [TS]

  understanding of this you got science [TS]

  fiction and you have fantasy and science [TS]

  fiction is the inside of that universe [TS]

  and almost everything that's happening [TS]

  is explainable even if it's not [TS]

  explainable by the kind of science we [TS]

  know or have today there's something [TS]

  that's explainable it's internally [TS]

  consistent yeah right there's reasons [TS]

  that stuff happening aren't magic and [TS]

  then fantasy that she goes out the [TS]

  window and there's tons of fuck tons of [TS]

  magic right in that you think that's [TS]

  even close [TS]

  let's see I think it's pretty close to [TS]

  take a lord of the rings that's not that [TS]

  much science in that start walking [TS]

  around what about worlds in which the [TS]

  like for instance the movie Avatar [TS]

  is within the setup of it is science [TS]

  fiction because it's explicit explains [TS]

  kind of the the premise of being able to [TS]

  inhabit a I don't know there's a lot of [TS]

  designer i feel that i've never seen [TS]

  I'll I'm not sure it's such a garbled [TS]

  idea that i'm not sure i could explain [TS]

  it but but then within the actual film [TS]

  it's really a fantasy movie because like [TS]

  a lot it's just like magic but that but [TS]

  there's also science it's like science [TS]

  fiction fantasy i'm sorry to say no no I [TS]

  know know it'sit's you know what it's [TS]

  two great tastes that taste great [TS]

  together [TS]

  there's there's there's not that's fine [TS]

  i mean it's all kind of stuff i like we [TS]

  have both I you watching that that James [TS]

  Franco go back and save Kennedy show [TS]

  James Franco is a personal bugbear for [TS]

  sure [TS]

  alright he's like he's what he's like [TS]

  one hair in a delicious dessert [TS]

  it's like this is a delicious your God [TS]

  is around the hair lap but you're like [TS]

  lap well i got this hair on my company [TS]

  and it's called James Franco em but also [TS]

  the desert is called James Franco so [TS]

  what do you do Tom Hardy who is a desert [TS]

  with no hair [TS]

  mm absolutely right everything I see Tom [TS]

  Hardy and even if the rest of the movie [TS]

  is fucking shambles now I know tom hardy [TS]

  stands in the center of it and is tom [TS]

  hardy and I go [TS]

  he's my new he's my Scarlett Johansson [TS]

  em James Franco's to Winky he's winking [TS]

  all the time I don't want to get winked [TS]

  at by somebody you know it's a little [TS]

  winky it's interesting idea though it's [TS]

  got him and chris cooper and it's just [TS]

  it's a stephen king book or story and I [TS]

  and I enjoy enjoy stephen king and chris [TS]

  cooper and basically no it doesn't [TS]

  matter you can watch it's just Franco [TS]

  all over you don't know what but they go [TS]

  back and save Kennedy basically Chris [TS]

  Cooper owns this is the premise it's not [TS]

  doing anything [TS]

  the premises that we discover that Chris [TS]

  Cooper who is the owner of a diner that [TS]

  the teacher James Franco's to he [TS]

  discovers that basically Chris Cooper's [TS]

  diner has this closet can get anything [TS]

  out of closets where you walk into it [TS]

  and you come out exactly the same time [TS]

  11 something am [TS]

  in the state and 1960 every time it's [TS]

  interesting in or you can come back if [TS]

  you come back you start over and [TS]

  nothing's changed only been gone for two [TS]

  minutes now first of all I have many [TS]

  faults but one of them is I love [TS]

  anything related to time travel [TS]

  I love time travel stuff i love it look [TS]

  did you see predestination [TS]

  no I don't have a TV okay i'll send my [TS]

  daughter's phones and that's an [TS]

  interesting premise and I especially [TS]

  like the premise of its two minutes here [TS]

  and when you come back at three sets so [TS]

  if you have to and I haven't gotten to [TS]

  him hitting the panic button yet but if [TS]

  he hits the panic button he comes back [TS]

  everything that he's created in that [TS]

  making 60 world resets is there a long [TS]

  time line type situation so but is there [TS]

  a button you can push where everything [TS]

  that we created in that universe becomes [TS]

  true and his contemporary way I see just [TS]

  stays there always stays there and lives [TS]

  his life again because he goes there in [TS]

  1960 because there's all kinds of stuff [TS]

  he's gonna have to do in the run-up to [TS]

  this has got to go create this world [TS]

  he's got to make bets is going to let [TS]

  make money and it's this whole like [TS]

  little world building thing and I'm sure [TS]

  the juncture cases of the world by many [TS]

  problems with this but I thoroughly [TS]

  enjoyed it [TS]

  well I'm the thing about mom the thing [TS]

  about this is that why would you bother [TS]

  saving kennedy at that point why [TS]

  wouldn't you just go to Las Vegas and [TS]

  bet on Kennedy dying chris cooper i was [TS]

  in vietnam his character from 6173 his [TS]

  main thing is I want to I want to save [TS]

  my friends and make sure that it never [TS]

  happened I'll see that's just at that [TS]

  always feels like small potatoes if you [TS]

  have time travel [TS]

  it's it this feels like that movie where [TS]

  Matthew McConaughey is is like throwing [TS]

  books off the shelf that's right there's [TS]

  a sand on the floor to talk to Murph it [TS]

  yeah he throws the center for its like [TS]

  of all that you are in a parallel [TS]

  universe where you're like [TS]

  multi-dimensional and you're trying to [TS]

  tell your daughter that you miss her [TS]

  fuck you screenwriters and look you up [TS]

  you know myself I'm gonna watch it again [TS]

  give another chance i'm gonna watch the [TS]

  second two-thirds I'm gonna make it [TS]

  through the whole movie [TS]

  I keep telling myself that but every [TS]

  time I look at the poster angry your [TS]

  garbage so if you're give you can go [TS]

  back to nineteen sixty really your your [TS]

  friends the five guys that you knew in [TS]

  Vietnam that's the extent of your of [TS]

  your vision interesting that is yours [TS]

  you're saying think big like you to get [TS]

  your not doing true time traveler [TS]

  thinking you know let's go back and make [TS]

  sure I dont still [TS]

  milk on my shirt thinking yeah you're [TS]

  saying like think big big yeah who the [TS]

  fuck are you [TS]

  fuck are you [TS]

  your friends are nobody's you are nobody [TS]

  yeah you have this incredible [TS]

  opportunity to go back to nineteen sixty [TS]

  and do amazing things crafty things I [TS]

  realize this is this is the last spring [TS]

  on you do you have just a very would you [TS]

  invent the euro [TS]

  Oh what would you do if you could go [TS]

  back to know if you had a closet in a [TS]

  diner you could walk in to save had a [TS]

  nice breakfast you evacuate your bladder [TS]

  you walk into the closet [TS]

  well what do you bring with you and what [TS]

  do you do once you're there dr. can [TS]

  bring your phone but o get a connection [TS]

  i can bring my phone you can bring you [TS]

  can bring money that would work at the [TS]

  time [TS]

  ok but I can everyone also things that [TS]

  that guy has brought back from his [TS]

  previous trips can be used to but i [TS]

  cannot access the contemporary internet [TS]

  while i'm there in 1960 you're gonna [TS]

  need to print it out you can bring maps [TS]

  you can bring printouts you could bring [TS]

  three ring binders no boy remember you [TS]

  gotta carry that around like a lunatic [TS]

  right right right also there's a guy [TS]

  there he keeps wandering around every [TS]

  time you go and appear there the guy [TS]

  says you don't belong here [TS]

  oh there's one guy that can see with his [TS]

  uh they lived in his glasses [TS]

  Jackson's got a hat yeah so what no you [TS]

  don't belong here setting her to don't [TS]

  belong here i hear the wind blow [TS]

  please pass the milk pls being dirty [TS]

  you don't belong here something on my [TS]

  that's when I my god is so great and you [TS]

  know what's great with that album you [TS]

  put it on you put it on shuffle [TS]

  I'll put it on trouble the other night [TS]

  shuffle and like a seven-second song [TS]

  would come on even though they found [TS]

  Arkin corridors I walk so so let's not [TS]

  let's not worry too much about what you [TS]

  bring with you with your bags unless you [TS]

  want to talk about that but what do you [TS]

  what's what's your general idea for a [TS]

  plan if you're thinking big and 1960 oh [TS]

  oh it's so fun [TS]

  Oh are what matters what really matters [TS]

  you know 1960 you could you could stop [TS]

  Pol Pot 1960 you want to pop it but not [TS]

  being run vietNamNet large well but [TS]

  they're saying don't save your buddy [TS]

  stop the whole stop the whole everything [TS]

  exactly if you're gonna you're gonna [TS]

  stop the Vietnam War you have to go back [TS]

  before nineteen sixty first of all who [TS]

  has hit within himself in it without [TS]

  making this an incredibly dreadful hard [TS]

  science fiction thing that only losers [TS]

  watch the basic idea is that if i go [TS]

  back to keep kennedy from getting [TS]

  assassinated Johnson will not become [TS]

  president & Johnson will not get into [TS]

  this long slog of Vietnam that well yeah [TS]

  but this is that whole fantasy world [TS]

  where Kennedy wouldn't have gotten us [TS]

  into Vietnam like that the whole [TS]

  business of like he was he was [TS]

  rethinking Vietnam right before no he [TS]

  wasn't [TS]

  mm we were in Vietnam we were going deep [TS]

  in Vietnam is being cocktail waitresses [TS]

  to a time it's like where's the soup [TS]

  um listen you don't tell me I'm not [TS]

  darling it's not like they say I'm smart [TS]

  and I got stepped over [TS]

  you don't hit my brother you understand [TS]

  what are you Italian stallions are all [TS]

  the same i buy you out my green he was [TS]

  still in diapers more green my kids [TS]

  don't talk to a guy like Moe Greene like [TS]

  that [TS]

  did I ask when Moe Greene that I know if [TS]

  I as who gave the order [TS]

  I said nothing because it was business [TS]

  anyway I went back to the maybe just sit [TS]

  there are so many things that you could [TS]

  do in 1960 you could not stop the [TS]

  Vietnam War [TS]

  I'm afraid yeah you could do anything [TS]

  could alter the course of it hopefully [TS]

  to save your four friends that are [TS]

  outside of da nang how lonely you gonna [TS]

  turn over all these big hard things [TS]

  before you admit your way of becoming [TS]

  fixing everything that's wrong in your [TS]

  family and make me rich forever [TS]

  is that what it would ultimately be when [TS]

  you focus on fixing your family being [TS]

  rich forever problem is that there's no [TS]

  way you could fix my family if you went [TS]

  back to nineteen sixty you would you [TS]

  have to go back to 1760 and like and [TS]

  just stop the whole thing right to grab [TS]

  somebody and thrown down a well throw [TS]

  Hitler baby I'm you know like [TS]

  what would you do there's just so many [TS]

  of directions you could go [TS]

  tick-tock there was so they're so much [TS]

  so so much energy and so many resources [TS]

  were wasted during the Cold War but i [TS]

  still don't fully understand whether or [TS]

  not it was necessary right whether [TS]

  whether it was the lesser of Evil's [TS]

  Italy we would not have had the same [TS]

  space program in the same way [TS]

  well right or just whatever like the [TS]

  whatever the teleplay between capitalism [TS]

  and collectivism that we've been trying [TS]

  to work out for the last hundred fifty [TS]

  years or or longer [TS]

  what I whatever however that soap opera [TS]

  needed to play out [TS]

  yeah was the Cold War a lot better than [TS]

  other options and maybe I mean this is [TS]

  the whole like butterfly flaps its wings [TS]

  problem you get in there 1916 here like [TS]

  I'm gonna solve the Cold War and then [TS]

  you inside a nuclear war right right i [TS]

  mean youyou remember at the end of at [TS]

  the end of the movie where the aircraft [TS]

  carrier goes back to Pearl Harbor de mi [TS]

  mi just it was this some parallel [TS]

  nineteen eighties that you didn't come [TS]

  along for a TV movie [TS]

  oh no it was a it was a movie movie and [TS]

  it was called the time i was called Time [TS]

  Bandits or a no it was called [TS]

  time-travel aircraft carrier the final [TS]

  countdown the final countdown [TS]

  do I it was a movie about a a [TS]

  nuclear-powered aircraft carrier that [TS]

  Chad Katharine Ross nothing about that [TS]

  was a Douglas senator martin sheen [TS]

  charity know who um and they go through [TS]

  a time storm and they arrived on the [TS]

  other side of the time storm having [TS]

  thought wow that was quite a storm em [TS]

  and then all of a sudden on their radar [TS]

  screens I'm don't want to give too much [TS]

  away but they are back in time and then [TS]

  they have the they have a quandary [TS]

  merlin which is they have F for teens [TS]

  they have 1987 technology or 1984 [TS]

  technology whatever ff14 I get it [TS]

  what do they do what you like most [TS]

  movies them debating this to go well [TS]

  there's a lot of flying around I mean [TS]

  there's some exciting footage it's one [TS]

  of those films where they had they had [TS]

  five a-six Texans that they painted like [TS]

  zeroes and then they try to make those [TS]

  five a-six Texans look like 700 zeros my [TS]

  flying back and forth across the screen [TS]

  all the time you're like that's the same [TS]

  plane I just I mean I mean it's a good [TS]

  it's a good paint job but hey it's not a [TS]

  0 and b you can't fool me because I you [TS]

  never see more than five planes at a [TS]

  time uh-huh [TS]

  but hey that's no fault of theirs there [TS]

  are probably a lot fewer a six texts [TS]

  painted like zeroes now than there were [TS]

  then yeah so like doctor who with the [TS]

  cyber manually show a few at a time and [TS]

  i'll show you at the time right or it's [TS]

  like thusly stacks how many feet are how [TS]

  many stacks easier once I can't say [TS]

  tonight I cannot use the word Sleestak [TS]

  in a sentence and not get my tongue all [TS]

  time I stacks and this rather lakers [TS]

  lakers please text you know that they're [TS]

  played by lakers LA Lakers fast break [TS]

  family Lakers played this lease tax i [TS]

  didn't know that don't verify that the [TS]

  head but I so yes at the end of the well [TS]

  I don't want to give too much away [TS]

  because i'm assuming that a lot of our [TS]

  honest trailers on a movie from 1980 [TS]

  with machine [TS]

  yeah are there you're gonna go back and [TS]

  watch the final countdown now but it it [TS]

  addresses it's a it's a it's an early [TS]

  version of addressing some of these time [TS]

  travel quantities [TS]

  it's like if I could go back to nineteen [TS]

  sixty with an aircraft carrier if i go [TS]

  back to nineteen sixty with my iphone [TS]

  and it worked like a sports Almanac or a [TS]

  sports Almanac about you make that's [TS]

  right you go back and make bets right [TS]

  you you would have to be really dumb to [TS]

  not get rich huh [TS]

  but you're also flapping your butterfly [TS]

  wings and then all of a sudden you know [TS]

  like Nancy Reagan's got two heads or [TS]

  whatever [TS]

  yeah that's a good point also i cannot [TS]

  spoil this one but this one this got to [TS]

  make money to keep yourself alive [TS]

  so basically he makes a bet with some [TS]

  small-town bookies on 35 to 1 bat and [TS]

  when [TS]

  and so you don't do anything too [TS]

  suspicious but that's going to arouse [TS]

  like a lot of interest if you do [TS]

  something that is only explainable by [TS]

  magic or graft so now I think about this [TS]

  all the time as you [TS]

  as I'm sure you do too which is you are [TS]

  transported back night not to 1960 but [TS]

  to 1972 in which world you are already [TS]

  alive you are what five years old in [TS]

  1972 something like that right okay so [TS]

  yeah here you are you're 48 49 whatever [TS]

  song 49.9 almost 50 let's just call this [TS]

  rounded up to 50 you go back in time [TS]

  there's already a Merlin man he's six [TS]

  years old [TS]

  yeah I know right but the only people [TS]

  you know in this world are your parents [TS]

  you don't know anybody in 1972 except [TS]

  for your mom and dad you now don't know [TS]

  anybody back then except your mom and [TS]

  dad and your uncles and aunts and [TS]

  whatever grandma get from the [TS]

  neighborhood so what are you gonna do [TS]

  you're gonna you're gonna go back to [TS]

  nineteen seventy-two and just ignore the [TS]

  fact that your whole family is there and [TS]

  just go live in a in a in the townhouse [TS]

  somewhere and make sports bets know your [TS]

  that first day you arrived with not a [TS]

  good feeling about these 75 Reds like [TS]

  how would you go introduce yourself to [TS]

  your own mo now this is this your actual [TS]

  point this I thought about a lot [TS]

  what how would you prove that you were [TS]

  who you were given that she would almost [TS]

  certainly recognize you in the sense of [TS]

  recognize something about yeah and like [TS]

  and also i mean there's all kinds of [TS]

  things i was thinking about taking into [TS]

  account the bootstrap paradox and all [TS]

  these kinds of problems like is there a [TS]

  way that I could see myself with some [TS]

  kind of a little test [TS]

  yeah and you know what that test is that [TS]

  nobody else could know and I haven't [TS]

  come up with one of those but it was a [TS]

  horrible right here like hi uh mrs. man [TS]

  hi uh um I came out of your vagina have [TS]

  a moment I i am a relative right I'm a [TS]

  relative of yours [TS]

  this arrogant movie and high it was [TS]

  their movie about that sounds like a [TS]

  movie [TS]

  it should be a movie has a movie been [TS]

  made them that where this happens I [TS]

  don't have a TV right but like I either [TS]

  do I but I got a guy you know you're [TS]

  like I'm a relative and he and i can say [TS]

  some gonna be holding my finger up under [TS]

  my nose like a mustache [TS]

  hello fella who would perhaps you uh [TS]

  with a point with a monocle know when [TS]

  you you would and you would first of all [TS]

  tease tease your way into the house by [TS]

  saying i am the son of and Maisy Glotz [TS]

  he's gonna know amazing losses right [TS]

  right and she's gonna go oh really and [TS]

  you're like yes distant relative Maisie [TS]

  lots i am her son i can say that I'm [TS]

  gonna go work on a mission somewhere I [TS]

  work in a Christian angle and family [TS]

  angle [TS]

  mm-hmm and so then you're invited into [TS]

  the house and then you sit down here [TS]

  like you know funny and i have 25 [TS]

  minutes alone with your child [TS]

  well not that you're not there yet right [TS]

  there no you're like um how do you [TS]

  believe in mysteries [TS]

  you suck at the you how do you feel [TS]

  about taking a hard look happy Percy the [TS]

  movie about time travel they pick a card [TS]

  out of the deck and it's late it's a [TS]

  Polaroid of them holding up the hard wow [TS]

  wow [TS]

  like how do you get everything about my [TS]

  mom and you don't want to come off as [TS]

  David Blaine basically you don't like go [TS]

  like what the fuck was that [TS]

  well it's not that you don't want to [TS]

  come off like you're a scam artist right [TS]

  because because the only people that [TS]

  were the only person i would try to do [TS]

  this would be somebody was trying to rip [TS]

  your your parents to get their hands on [TS]

  the man fortune [TS]

  yeah so the man fortune exactly the [TS]

  fortune of like chick comics that are in [TS]

  the garage but much but you know my mom [TS]

  was always into science fiction all the [TS]

  way back so I i have an in with us on [TS]

  this idea when I'm eventually [TS]

  transported back in time that I can go [TS]

  to my mom and say look you know like [TS]

  let's say initially like i'm the [TS]

  grandson of you know of [TS]

  Henry pretty or something like that [TS]

  should be like really think I know all [TS]

  the grandsons depending pretty I'm like [TS]

  wow I'm one of these I'm a lot long-lost [TS]

  grandson and she would look at me and [TS]

  she would see in my face a resemblance [TS]

  enough to her people that that some [TS]

  bullshit story like that would get me in [TS]

  the door and then I could say listen I [TS]

  know you like science fiction don't ask [TS]

  me how but let's imagine a fantasy [TS]

  science fiction scenario where time [TS]

  travel was possible [TS]

  are you with me so far mm but way her [TS]

  but wait there's more [TS]

  and you know and just lead her down oh [TS]

  yeah it's really very subtle [TS]

  yeah right where she's like yeah I [TS]

  believe in science fiction oh do you [TS]

  believe in [TS]

  say for instance past lives you know I [TS]

  would like I'd be in her head already [TS]

  right use her own tendencies to make the [TS]

  case that it was possible that i was her [TS]

  own son appearing back in time I mean [TS]

  she's always gonna she's always gonna be [TS]

  like because then you're like dropping [TS]

  out family secrets little by little to [TS]

  prove your case [TS]

  yeah that's that's so creepy well it is [TS]

  it be massively creepy other thing is at [TS]

  any moment she could stand up and go [TS]

  who are you by God get out of my house [TS]

  I'm calling the police [TS]

  yeah you don't want that it's over it's [TS]

  over at that point it's over you can [TS]

  never gonna get back in that we have to [TS]

  slow slow because I think here's the [TS]

  problem is i think when people first [TS]

  more the scenario over in their head I [TS]

  know you're not doing this I think the [TS]

  main promise people think okay if I [TS]

  overwhelm them with a huge amount of [TS]

  information that is incredibly specific [TS]

  and could not be coincidental [TS]

  there's no way they won't believe you [TS]

  say listen I know this is hard to [TS]

  believe but I'm your son and the door [TS]

  bells about to ring and some is going to [TS]

  show you a magazine thing or you know or [TS]

  you don't mean or whatever it is you [TS]

  know exactly tonight sanford and son is [TS]

  there is a rerun you know wow that's [TS]

  crazy as you know that [TS]

  yeah whatever every screenplay that [TS]

  whatever do this you would always be [TS]

  transported back in time on some [TS]

  momentous day in your life right or the [TS]

  day before momentous day [TS]

  right like yeah tomorrow is the day that [TS]

  uncle Charlie loses his arm and I can [TS]

  either stop it or use it to prove break [TS]

  tonight from the future for keeping me [TS]

  company when anyone about another talent [TS]

  huh 3100mah I don't know Marilyn I don't [TS]

  have a problem is that i have spent so [TS]

  much time mental energy like I have [TS]

  consumed bushels of food to give me the [TS]

  strength and power so that i can power [TS]

  the engine of my brain to think about [TS]

  time travel scenarios where I [TS]

  reintroduce myself to my mom like what [TS]

  possible good can come of that why a why [TS]

  did Jesus make me this way [TS]

  uh-huh what are we doing here on this [TS]

  planet if this is the kind of Ouroboros [TS]

  that like occupies my days I could be [TS]

  out digging I could be building habitat [TS]

  for humanity [TS]

  uh-huh but instead this and i'm not even [TS]

  I don't even have a utility belt I think [TS]

  you could go to your mom as she exists [TS]

  today in this universe and you could go [TS]

  and say look I gotta be honest with you [TS]

  there's a reason i have been working [TS]

  much I've been thinking a lot about what [TS]

  happens if i could go back in time and [TS]

  meet you [TS]

  so I think you do they call it social [TS]

  engineering you go to your mom of this [TS]

  year as far as we know she might have [TS]

  trouble here too we don't know but you [TS]

  go to her as she is now she appears to [TS]

  you and you say help me work this out [TS]

  you give me something what can i say to [TS]

  you i tell me a family secret [TS]

  it's probably think you're trying to get [TS]

  your PIN code or something but it you [TS]

  get her to help you figure out how a [TS]

  little mercy would do it [TS]

  whoo that's an interesting interesting [TS]

  interesting i'm wondering if there is [TS]

  still stuff that my mom is willing to [TS]

  tell me that she hasn't told me right [TS]

  like my dad was never going to tell me [TS]

  the five gamma delta secret handshake [TS]

  I could have tortured him with a [TS]

  branding iron when he never would have [TS]

  given it away not because anybody gives [TS]

  a shit but just because the five gamma [TS]

  delta secret handshake is the thing that [TS]

  he decided he was going to take to his [TS]

  tab [TS]

  even though they're I mean right now in [TS]

  seattle there five thousand total [TS]

  ding-a-lings you spend your time travel [TS]

  back to the fire game up get beta a [TS]

  meeting where he learned it [TS]

  mm-hmm and you become a brother except [TS]

  well that's the thing but I don't [TS]

  that's a lot of work just to learn this [TS]

  one dumb thing yeah at all it would [TS]

  prove is that I was a five-game a delta [TS]

  which like or Fiji as they call [TS]

  themselves but like my mom [TS]

  I mean I know a lot of secrets about her [TS]

  i could go back and say like hey mom [TS]

  what about this say what about that like [TS]

  but nothing really that you wouldn't [TS]

  mean that the only way you the only way [TS]

  you could prove it is to tell them a [TS]

  story about something that happened to [TS]

  them when they were all by themselves [TS]

  who that you that you can guess they've [TS]

  either never told anybody or you know [TS]

  told so few people that it couldn't [TS]

  possibly be a thing that you knew or [TS]

  you've seen and enjoyed the film looper [TS]

  back when you have a TV [TS]

  don't talk to me about time trap I don't [TS]

  swell that can enjoy that movie a lot [TS]

  though we are talking we are well we'll [TS]

  cut all this out of time travel [TS]

  yeah but uh there's there's a something [TS]

  I've never seen before that they do in [TS]

  that movie that involves things that [TS]

  happen in the past [TS]

  mmm that are then become part of the [TS]

  present because it happened in the past [TS]

  right [TS]

  they tortured again the past and then [TS]

  results that are happening to the guy in [TS]

  the pro yeah he's sitting there as yeah [TS]

  hard drive so much anymore late sorry [TS]

  Leslie [TS]

  well here's an idea here's a question I [TS]

  post whatever kind of your mom's finger [TS]

  and said look at your finger you say [TS]

  that i just did that [TS]

  oh no that's terrible i'm going to call [TS]

  my mom's finger come on that completely [TS]

  spoiled at me for that terrible but here [TS]

  is the question what could somebody tell [TS]

  you what if somebody shows on about it [TS]

  about a middle-aged guy shows up on a [TS]

  man i'm sorry a middle-aged woman [TS]

  beautiful woman wearing a fanny pack who [TS]

  and a and a and a bat man costume and [TS]

  shows up on your door and says I am your [TS]

  daughter who from the new future [TS]

  how would she proved that to you I say [TS]

  where's your hairbrush [TS]

  she says I don't know [TS]

  love you honey [TS]

  yes and yes and yes [TS]