Ep. 192: "King of Tahiti"
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this set is the show this episode of
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Roderick on the line is sponsored by
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cards against community this week they
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asked James T green to help say hi to
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hello hi John hi Moreland how's it going
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mmm mmm it's so good to be back
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oh you're sick i belittle sick you right
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you're still sick
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it was a it was a bad one it was a it
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was a virus has snuck past see I got a
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flu shot wasn't a flu virus it was a
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other virus no mystery virus that snuck
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past every all of my defenses and then
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conned me into thinking it was just a
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normal cold for a couple of days
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oh my my battery won't start my family's
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in the car down here to interview for a
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yep yep exactly hey classic fan belt my
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fan belt fuckinf and I got a fan belt
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right here to prove it also must be a
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teacher right so it's one o'clock in the
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morning and i'm usually once again I
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story seemed like a nice virus your
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cleaner articulate sure come on in
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yeah so I had a little sore throat a
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little stuffy nose and then in the
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middle of the night I was a hundred and
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four degrees and then I was freezing
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cold and then I was honored for degrees
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and I was like this is no normal cold
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man and then I had a fever for three
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days and then I went to the doctor
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oh shit i don't do know and I was like
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you gotta be kidding me with this
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let me guess you told you you had a
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virus but dr. it was a she and she said
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you have a virus and she said with us
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like a smirk on her face like she knows
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you're sure it's yeah she was like ya
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know you're sick are ya good you came to
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yeah happens sometimes you good thing he
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came it is a good thing you came because
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it could have been something worse and
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that's why we ordered all these tests
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but she did an amazing thing she hooked
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me up to an IV and gave me a whole bag
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of what is probably you know radon
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medical benefits medical grade right on
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yeah but a plump me right back up and I
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was like oh I was dehydrated in addition
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to being all these other things feverish
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and me shitting me the actually
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connected connected you up to a bag just
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the old me up with what saline and they
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better i felt better i mean i didn't
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feel great no no but I mean I would do
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anything to not feel terrible
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yeah just get hooked up to a bag once in
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awhile and feel better that was the
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thing i SAT there and I was like can you
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throw some vitamin b12 in that too and
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whatever else give me some of that shit
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that Kennedy had all the Kennedy shit
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the addison yes fighter
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yeah give me the give me the Hitler shit
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in the Kennedy shit and I'll go out and
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run for president
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anyway so I'm on the mend but here's the
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here's the caveat which is that i may
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explode into a coughing fit that no one
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wants to hear and as you know i don't
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have a cough button so if it happens I
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don't know whether you can insert some
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hold music or cut it out or whatever it
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is the I think it could probably guess
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what i'm gonna do i'm just gonna listen
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oh but it's so this is a very real cough
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that I have right now which is a which
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is a cough where I am I'm off-gassing
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right examples insurance it's not gas i
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am yeah i'm i'm usin xing it's
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productive cough it up that's exactly
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right it's a productive cough so i'm not
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sure that our listeners around the world
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are prepared for what it sounds like
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when someone in seattle offloads yeah
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you guys think these umbrellas
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yeah offload some of that moisture that
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i collected when they put me on a bag I
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realize you're in a vulnerable place
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right now this is too philosophical of a
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question feel free to secure it going on
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I'm just curious i know you like to
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avoid you know intoxicants strategy for
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purposes of intoxication you don't even
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generally like to take cold medicine
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Howard is saline from a Mad Max bag what
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does that fall on your spectrum of
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acceptable things to bring your body you
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know this is a very good question
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because I'm very
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in toxicants I don't partake of because
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they are they present a risk to me I
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mhm whereas a bag of ceiling it's
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unlikely enough that i'll have a that i
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befriend or street friend that knows how
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to put an IV in and has a bag of saline
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or can make it available and it didn't
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make me feel that amazing it was just
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like oh shit that what that's like I
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just drank six cups of water
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alright if you're still part of this is
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dehydration when you get not even all
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yeah you're just like I don't want to go
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downstairs and drink water and shivering
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I'm just so you and then everybody says
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you gotta keep hydrated got to keep you
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it's like I'm fine I'm fine but I had
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I'd run down so I i'm ok with i'm ok
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with sailing but this is one of those
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this is a deeper question I think you're
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asking is kind of a deeper question
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because yeah go ahead but I i think
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there's two things at least two parts to
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mmm and it started out as one and became
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another winning first watch want to say
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I think the idea that max bags terrific
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idea i think he did the right thing I
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think even you put some vitamins in
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there I don't think that's so bad right
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what I hear you saying is there is a
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time when substances were trouble for me
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and I know to avoid certain i
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deliberately deliberately ingesting
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something to make me feel very different
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on whatever level so obviously this
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nonsense i also think there's something
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to it it's more from your like your
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Alaskan stock which is you're like I
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want to see if I can do this whole thing
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without the epidural like I want to see
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I don't even want something even if it's
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something that's been nine even if it's
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a placebo don't want to placebo because
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i could think I could do without right
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and and you know if I were a woman I
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know that and I were pregnant I know
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that I would want to have the baby the
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old-fashioned way and screaming that's
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right screaming and habits or ruin my
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body as it happens because that's how
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haha and there are plenty plenty of
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people that I respect very much they're
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like are you crazy
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if you have a caesarean section you can
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schedule the moment the baby arrives
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go to the hospital go to sleep and when
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you wake up there's a baby there and
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everything was monitored and it is in
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your you know and you did not get split
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in half by a giant bubble of fat huh
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um and and that makes perfect sense to
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me and it is like that technology is
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here why do why not employ it but i but
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I still personally would not find that
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convincing because I would think that in
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the experience of having a kid there
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would be some mystery that i would
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unlock some lasting reverberation in me
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and the kid that couldn't be duplicated
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if nothing else you might always wonder
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what it would have been like yeah and i
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think the cesarean people are like yeah
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uh-huh okay well i think i can handle
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imagining what are you know you're
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pining for what it was like but I you
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know I was healed in two days and and
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could walk fine immediately and you know
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so forth and so on so there are all
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kinds of arguments like why don't you
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use the most current technology why
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haven't i got LASIK surgery for instance
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walking around with glasses they no
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longer really work for me because my
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eyes are becoming dried-up little corn
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husks why wouldn't I years ago i've
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gotten it gotten gone and gotten laser
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surgery uh-huh and you know there's a
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there's a there's a part of me that
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feels like what if I'm trying to be an
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astronaut and they're scanning me to see
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if I am one of the genetically pure and
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I see some kind of got Academy don't
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think they go oh we've detected in
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cyborg technology
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yeah we've seen that you shaved your
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eyes and if you have to
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save your eyes that means you're not one
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of the one of the goods could be
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something as simple as you can you can't
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handle the your eyes couldn't handle the
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pressure of takeoff or it could just be
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you know what you're not really up for
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this if your eyes shaved you should be
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should be done in the commissary
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well that's the thing it's just the
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nature of the fact that your eyes were
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miss shapen means that you are
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genetically inferior right that because
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the the perfect the perfect aren't
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perfect now of course if they're
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measuring that type of thing they would
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recognize my eyes were misshapen already
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and besides i'm 47 I'm not gonna be an
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astronaut but it but it's that lingering
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sense of like don't modify your closer
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to having your ashes shot on the canon
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essbase than you are to getting to ride
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yeah i'm i'm hoping that one of our
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listeners who works for NASA will name a
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star after me but that was in control he
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was keeping that one in control i added
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oh thank you so there's that and that
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you know and that extends to like I
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don't have any tattoos obviously but I
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can't argue with anybody that does but
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then we get into the category of
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elective surgery which is akin to the I
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shaving but like where is the word is
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the line on elective surgery lay for me
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and or lie i just know which is which
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one would you use in that situation i
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always i used the wrong one entire which
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we're with the line lie
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yes we're with the line lie and you're
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talking about an entire spectrum of
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different kinds of like so what kind of
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surgery which is if we don't take out
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your gallbladder and there's like an
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eighty percent chance you'll die in the
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who and I kind of non-elective you
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we have the technology we can do this
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your chances of living and having a good
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life are better if we do this surgery
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right it's over here right when you get
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them wet very very far far far far far
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end of the spectrum washing in trouble
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yeah but you've got like a re-up of
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something like Botox yeah or you've got
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you know like reflect freshening up a
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listing plastic surgery who and then all
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along the way on the spectrum you got
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all kinds of things where you got stuff
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like you know if there's certain kinds
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of surgery you know sometimes when you
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go into these especially going to like
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these certain kinds of doctors with an
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orthodontist or you go into a a what's
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the what's the what's the doctors to the
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face surgery plastic surgery like more
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plastic surgery then looking like a cat
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lady look like that could be like we we
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help you after a mastectomy to have like
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you know what bus line that you can be
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happy with there's all kinds of things
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and plastic surgery that go way beyond
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just like I'm a horrible person from Los
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Angeles but sometimes I think what they
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will do is they will also get your car
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fixed it's like hey you know as long as
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we're pulling the engine we probably
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want to look at a couple other things
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too because we're not gonna pull the
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engine that many times and there's some
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things where you may not need it but we
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could do it as a precaution you see
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where I'm going with this since we're in
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there anyway so for instance like my
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teeth don't fit together and the doctors
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have been telling me for years that the
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first thing they wanted to do
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from the time I was 17 they're like we
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gotta break this kids jaw and reset it
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in a different place so his teeth
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together and I was like even at the time
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I felt like that seems crazy they're
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like no no it's very routine we just
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break your jaw and move it back and fit
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your teeth together and then we you know
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saw some part of your job and put it
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back together you phrase it like that it
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sounds you know we see it as break your
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jaw it sounds like you know Lu's gonna
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come in and give you a good stock to the
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to the face yeah but it's like cut both
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sides of your John take some part of it
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out but it's serious you know I have a
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person very near and dear to me in my
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life who had a procedure yeah yeah and
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there was it's a its enormous and a huge
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it felt like a huge deal that's exactly
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right and then as I got older they
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started saying that i granted to they
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kept every dentist was like oh we got it
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we got to cut your jaw in half and move
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it back and I was like yeah yeah and
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then I started talking to some some oral
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surgeons who are like no no we don't
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break your jaw move it back anymore
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what we do is we cut off your upper
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yeah entirely we cut your hole we saw
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your top layer of teeth
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off completely from your skull and move
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them forward we move your top teeth
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forward so they fit with your bottom
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teeth because what happened was not that
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your jaw grew too much which is what we
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thought had happened but it was the top
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of your that's that seems really extreme
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the top of your mouth face failed to
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grow enough it seems like mowing your
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lawn by making the neighborhood move
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around under your house
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oh I mean really doesn't that seem even
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I don't know break into saw your jaw or
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cut the top of your head off i mean i
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don't know i don't a bit of both things
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yeah but what they were saying was that
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it would it would make my teeth fit
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better together which would which would
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increase the longevity of my teeth
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because right now the way they fit
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together i'm slowly grinding them apart
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and i'm going to grind my face apart
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until it's just a soul patch touching a
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nose and at every opportunity I've said
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I don't don't want more performant even
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say chin he said soul back just a soul
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patch tickling your nose
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hey guys however harbor I didn't want it
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and you heard the new fastball you know
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the last time I talked to dentist about
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it i was 46 and I said I'm 46 imap
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weight of the goal line and they were
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like you're gonna need those teeth
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I was like yeah i know but i'm hoping
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that technology somewhere along the line
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►
can give me aluminum teeth your teeth
[TS]
◼
►
that are made of Plexiglas that have
[TS]
◼
►
little goldfish swimming in them or
[TS]
◼
►
who r I don't have to you don't have to
[TS]
◼
►
saw either part of my face and they just
[TS]
◼
►
shrug and go well that's what we do and
[TS]
◼
►
I'm like exactly that's what you do
[TS]
◼
►
right it's a failure of your imagination
[TS]
◼
►
that's why you drive a porsche 911
[TS]
◼
►
because you saw people spaces in half
[TS]
◼
►
I don't see it as a necessity but when
[TS]
◼
►
the guy said he was going to move the
[TS]
◼
►
forward I did have a thought which was
[TS]
◼
►
that is gonna make my mustache look very
[TS]
◼
►
oh because it's gonna push my mustache
[TS]
◼
►
out a little bit and I've always felt
[TS]
◼
►
like what now that you mention it I've
[TS]
◼
►
always felt like that my top the area
[TS]
◼
►
between the bottom of my nose in the top
[TS]
◼
►
of my lip was a little too small i had
[TS]
◼
►
always I'd never I guess I had never
[TS]
◼
►
thought of it that way
[TS]
◼
►
you didn't because you really know
[TS]
◼
►
you're introducing something very
[TS]
◼
►
interesting here which is really truly
[TS]
◼
►
thinking about your face as having three
[TS]
◼
►
dimensions right kind of this instead of
[TS]
◼
►
saying like oh here's a here's a rough
[TS]
◼
►
drawing of an oval with some dots on it
[TS]
◼
►
uses a three-dimensional thing you're
[TS]
◼
►
talking about adding architectural
[TS]
◼
►
e-learning more bioavailable mustache
[TS]
◼
►
surface so we hit so what happened was
[TS]
◼
►
from a young age I wanted a mustache
[TS]
◼
►
when I was 17 I wanted a mustache and of
[TS]
◼
►
course God realized that this was
[TS]
◼
►
something I wanted and God was going to
[TS]
◼
►
deny this to me because that's the
[TS]
◼
►
mysterious way that God works it's true
[TS]
◼
►
he wants to put obstacles in front of
[TS]
◼
►
you in order to you know test team and
[TS]
◼
►
so I have studied men's mustaches over
[TS]
◼
►
the years very closely and all the most
[TS]
◼
►
ashes that you'd like the Tom Selleck's
[TS]
◼
►
of the world if you look at Tom Selleck
[TS]
◼
►
he has an enormous area between the
[TS]
◼
►
bottom of his nose in the top of his lip
[TS]
◼
►
it's a fucking soccer field you are
[TS]
◼
►
you're changing the whole way I think
[TS]
◼
►
about mustaches and you're filling in a
[TS]
◼
►
lot of holes for why mustaches look
[TS]
◼
►
yeah so he's got this huge areas got
[TS]
◼
►
this big mustache it looks great and
[TS]
◼
►
then you start looking at men's faces
[TS]
◼
►
and you say uh this area between the
[TS]
◼
►
bottom of the nose and the top of the
[TS]
◼
►
lip is a very crucial area for men to
[TS]
◼
►
look trustworthy and capable if you look
[TS]
◼
►
at door but the Greek he's got a big
[TS]
◼
►
area there like all the guys that you
[TS]
◼
►
instinctively go how this guy is going
[TS]
◼
►
to handle things thinking about thinking
[TS]
◼
►
about Sam Elliott Samuel it's got a huge
[TS]
◼
►
he's got a huge area which can
[TS]
◼
►
accommodate eight a frankly enormous
[TS]
◼
►
mustache you the future
[TS]
◼
►
tried to grow a what-do-you-call-it area
[TS]
◼
►
between your lips in your nose and the
[TS]
◼
►
top of your hunger under knows your mind
[TS]
◼
►
your mustache holder moustache if you're
[TS]
◼
►
you know what I mean the conveyance the
[TS]
◼
►
budget motherfucker your-your-your
[TS]
◼
►
trough you got you got you got your hair
[TS]
◼
►
trough under your nose if that is even
[TS]
◼
►
just on my gosh it's just my co meters
[TS]
◼
►
too small you're not gonna be able to do
[TS]
◼
►
too much with that and so gonna be like
[TS]
◼
►
one of those guys you can't really grow
[TS]
◼
►
a beard but keep trying to grow up here
[TS]
◼
►
and you're like you just feel like a
[TS]
◼
►
gray stop doing that
[TS]
◼
►
yes so I so my whole my whole young life
[TS]
◼
►
21 24 26 I got a big huge beard I got a
[TS]
◼
►
big beard shaped face and I've got this
[TS]
◼
►
little teeny little you know like hand
[TS]
◼
►
strap this little blonde sort of wispy
[TS]
◼
►
little moustache that's in an area too
[TS]
◼
►
small to contain a mustache and there's
[TS]
◼
►
nothing you can do about that nothing I
[TS]
◼
►
can do about it and so all of all the
[TS]
◼
►
I was just like yeah you know Rob
[TS]
◼
►
Delaney the comedian if you look at Rob
[TS]
◼
►
Delaney he's got a huge nose trough huge
[TS]
◼
►
mustache trough doing Rob Delaney is a
[TS]
◼
►
famous TV show right guys on some
[TS]
◼
►
british TV show I look at that guy look
[TS]
◼
►
at that money is a handsome guy
[TS]
◼
►
well see and how much of that handsome
[TS]
◼
►
this is just that area
[TS]
◼
►
yeah so they're talking about this
[TS]
◼
►
enormous song of my face to get my teeth
[TS]
◼
►
fitting together better which seemed to
[TS]
◼
►
me to be a completely like it's just up
[TS]
◼
►
a Porsche conveyance for these for these
[TS]
◼
►
doctors because they're just they're
[TS]
◼
►
sitting in those conferences in in las
[TS]
◼
►
vegas where all but all the oral
[TS]
◼
►
surgeons get together and they're saying
[TS]
◼
►
what's a new thing that we can do i tell
[TS]
◼
►
i totally agree i hate to admit this but
[TS]
◼
►
I and then the problem is i argue with
[TS]
◼
►
our friend John syracuse about this
[TS]
◼
►
because I honestly I don't have any way
[TS]
◼
►
of being able to judge when they're just
[TS]
◼
►
saying some shit vs giving me life
[TS]
◼
►
it is indistinguishable they never give
[TS]
◼
►
you a percentage esta
[TS]
◼
►
how much what they're saying might be
[TS]
◼
►
totally might be total bullshit that
[TS]
◼
►
only makes sense for a little while they
[TS]
◼
►
could be fucking Theodoric of York for
[TS]
◼
►
yeah well and this happens at
[TS]
◼
►
universities all the time right at
[TS]
◼
►
somebody gets up and they give a paper
[TS]
◼
►
they write a book and they're like what
[TS]
◼
►
if X was why what if blue was orange and
[TS]
◼
►
if it if it makes sense then everybody
[TS]
◼
►
suddenly he's like well x is why blue is
[TS]
◼
►
orange and so a dentist gets up at a one
[TS]
◼
►
of these conferences and gives a
[TS]
◼
►
presentation a TEDTalk where he's like
[TS]
◼
►
one time I saw the guy's face in half
[TS]
◼
►
and moved his teeth around and boy the
[TS]
◼
►
results were amazing
[TS]
◼
►
he never had any problems after that and
[TS]
◼
►
then all of a sudden everybody in the
[TS]
◼
►
room is convinced that is that that's a
[TS]
◼
►
key surgery a key thing that as that
[TS]
◼
►
makes modern life better and we need to
[TS]
◼
►
like we need to encourage people that
[TS]
◼
►
have this problem i think half the
[TS]
◼
►
population their teeth put together
[TS]
◼
►
she's got so much feeling about this
[TS]
◼
►
because I mean there are the kinds of
[TS]
◼
►
things but you're talking about the tea
[TS]
◼
►
thing having been around this in my
[TS]
◼
►
household is that there's more to it
[TS]
◼
►
than my teeth don't fit together even in
[TS]
◼
►
the case of my daughter she's got
[TS]
◼
►
retainers because her teeth are going to
[TS]
◼
►
come in we're in a way that's about way
[TS]
◼
►
more than whether she can be a model
[TS]
◼
►
where we are going to be an impact there
[TS]
◼
►
could be there's all kinds of things
[TS]
◼
►
that can happen get TMJ you get all
[TS]
◼
►
these different things that can happen
[TS]
◼
►
so you know you want you want to nip
[TS]
◼
►
that in the bud sure if you are if you
[TS]
◼
►
have to know on whale blubber in order
[TS]
◼
►
to survive a winter you can make it you
[TS]
◼
►
know what those teeth to be strong
[TS]
◼
►
certainly you can advocate for Wales um
[TS]
◼
►
yeah and then yeah that's so but my
[TS]
◼
►
thing was how so all of a sudden I was
[TS]
◼
►
considering this surgery in part because
[TS]
◼
►
so many dentists had recommended it but
[TS]
◼
►
now suddenly him part because it was
[TS]
◼
►
potentially going to increase my
[TS]
◼
►
mustache area now i'm listening and so
[TS]
◼
►
then I had a crisis right like a like a
[TS]
◼
►
like a conundrum like a like a serious
[TS]
◼
►
sort of spiritual crisis how much of
[TS]
◼
►
this now am i considering as an elective
[TS]
◼
►
Oh am I going if somebody said hey we've
[TS]
◼
►
got a new surgery that expands your
[TS]
◼
►
area i would say that's ridiculous but
[TS]
◼
►
what if I get this necessary tooth
[TS]
◼
►
surgery that just coincidentally expand
[TS]
◼
►
my mustache area so only I know until
[TS]
◼
►
until now when i'm reporting it to
[TS]
◼
►
well sort of like you were you know like
[TS]
◼
►
you introduced me to hydrogen peroxide
[TS]
◼
►
in your early days you would use that
[TS]
◼
►
you know as a surfactant and as a
[TS]
◼
►
mouthwash as a debriding agent but also
[TS]
◼
►
as a way to deal with your allergy to
[TS]
◼
►
yourself you remember you discovered as
[TS]
◼
►
a side effect of that you also got super
[TS]
◼
►
cool blonde hair out of it move it was
[TS]
◼
►
wasn't a similar uh black dark night of
[TS]
◼
►
the soul for you it was and you will
[TS]
◼
►
notice that I don't ever put hydrogen
[TS]
◼
►
peroxide on my head anymore didn't know
[TS]
◼
►
you could do it right now
[TS]
◼
►
that's right not because I didn't like
[TS]
◼
►
the blonde hair that it gave me but
[TS]
◼
►
because i know that it will do that and
[TS]
◼
►
so doing it now even to counteract the
[TS]
◼
►
fact that my body is trying to kill
[TS]
◼
►
itself seems like secretly I would be
[TS]
◼
►
doing it in order to go
[TS]
◼
►
oopsie i got blond hair which I don't
[TS]
◼
►
you know like this is the thing with
[TS]
◼
►
taking cold medicine it's like oopsy now
[TS]
◼
►
I'm hi what can I do about a better have
[TS]
◼
►
more cold medicine is good for me
[TS]
◼
►
yeah i'm sick i need cold medicine and
[TS]
◼
►
then you know that i'm i'm i'm riding
[TS]
◼
►
across America on the back of a
[TS]
◼
►
motorcycle with some guy named Steve so
[TS]
◼
►
that's not what I want right now and so
[TS]
◼
►
all these things it's like how much are
[TS]
◼
►
how much of those secondary repairs that
[TS]
◼
►
follow upon a quote-unquote necessary
[TS]
◼
►
surgery you know what he how many
[TS]
◼
►
decisions are getting made in that gray
[TS]
◼
►
space uh-huh so and there are elective
[TS]
◼
►
surgeries that are intentionally
[TS]
◼
►
augmentative and then there are electric
[TS]
◼
►
surgeries where you know like for
[TS]
◼
►
instance my second toe is longer than
[TS]
◼
►
the first two makes you smart
[TS]
◼
►
well yeah it means I'm descended from
[TS]
◼
►
no kidding well it means you're smart i
[TS]
◼
►
means you're smart because you're
[TS]
◼
►
descended from royalty and everyone
[TS]
◼
►
knows they're the smartest QED right
[TS]
◼
►
so excuse me not wrong
[TS]
◼
►
mm-hmm I'm so let's say rather than
[TS]
◼
►
taking pride in the fact that my second
[TS]
◼
►
toe is longer than the first which i do
[TS]
◼
►
because i have somewhat of a set of
[TS]
◼
►
prehensile feet of monkey says a monkey
[TS]
◼
►
toes which enable me to grab and peel an
[TS]
◼
►
orange with my toes that's an adaptation
[TS]
◼
►
that's nice to have no I know what
[TS]
◼
►
people are self-conscious about their
[TS]
◼
►
monkeytoes I feel like that's a mitzvah
[TS]
◼
►
well see this is the thing I feel like
[TS]
◼
►
having a little Donald Trump Towers
[TS]
◼
►
nobody wants those but let's say blue
[TS]
◼
►
but let's say you are somebody who looks
[TS]
◼
►
down at your feet and says oh they are
[TS]
◼
►
grotesque and misshapen if there were
[TS]
◼
►
surgery and perhaps there is to have
[TS]
◼
►
your second toe shortened or all your
[TS]
◼
►
toes short but it's really
[TS]
◼
►
and here's the funny thing about that
[TS]
◼
►
second toe longer thing if you look at
[TS]
◼
►
my feet you realize it is the first toe
[TS]
◼
►
which is too short
[TS]
◼
►
it's not that the second toe is longer
[TS]
◼
►
it's the big toes too small
[TS]
◼
►
that's how that's how all the second to
[TS]
◼
►
longer people get away but that's not
[TS]
◼
►
yeah if your if your big toe was long
[TS]
◼
►
enough you'd have normal-looking feet
[TS]
◼
►
that will not you don't want a big tits
[TS]
◼
►
too long that you know that thumb
[TS]
◼
►
well if my big toe as long as long as my
[TS]
◼
►
second toe it would look like it would
[TS]
◼
►
not only look like a thumb it would
[TS]
◼
►
function as a thumb and i would not be
[TS]
◼
►
living here people are just brothers at
[TS]
◼
►
the same time be I would be in Tahiti I
[TS]
◼
►
would be king of tea and that sounds
[TS]
◼
►
pretty good i wish that might so let's
[TS]
◼
►
say there's an elective surgery that
[TS]
◼
►
shortens my second toe to make my feet
[TS]
◼
►
look normal yeah or an elective surgery
[TS]
◼
►
that in long gates my big toe so that i
[TS]
◼
►
can become king of Tahiti yeah which one
[TS]
◼
►
of those acquits with my idea of of what
[TS]
◼
►
you know personally which one would
[TS]
◼
►
equipped with my sort of validity needs
[TS]
◼
►
given that they are both a kind of
[TS]
◼
►
elective cosmetic surgery which one is
[TS]
◼
►
would keep you sure to your to your
[TS]
◼
►
who write but when you describe the
[TS]
◼
►
palate slicing technique that sounds
[TS]
◼
►
more like we're going to move all four
[TS]
◼
►
toes that aren't your second toe and
[TS]
◼
►
pull them out and make them longer
[TS]
◼
►
mhm boil the ocean model for teeth you
[TS]
◼
►
yeah yeah well I'm so many elective
[TS]
◼
►
surgeries are so so to take this to a
[TS]
◼
►
wired magazine place which I know you
[TS]
◼
►
and I like to do because we thought
[TS]
◼
►
leaders are technologists how many
[TS]
◼
►
articles of you read in Wired magazine
[TS]
◼
►
about enhancement drugs that are going
[TS]
◼
►
to make you better faster stronger
[TS]
◼
►
you're going to be creating apps while
[TS]
◼
►
this was a hot topic in the late
[TS]
◼
►
nineties right and I dipped I dipped one
[TS]
◼
►
of my perfectly normal-sized toes into
[TS]
◼
►
this topic a little bit which is smart
[TS]
◼
►
drugs to this day I continue to take a
[TS]
◼
►
version of smart drugs for things
[TS]
◼
►
oh well they have less of an impact
[TS]
◼
►
because if they're having to fight off
[TS]
◼
►
right right but there was a time when
[TS]
◼
►
this is a very hot topic i feel this is
[TS]
◼
►
like a wired magazine post rave future's
[TS]
◼
►
so bright I gotta wear shades thing
[TS]
◼
►
where you're going to be able to create
[TS]
◼
►
your own personal cocktails putting it
[TS]
◼
►
too clearly but cocktail of different
[TS]
◼
►
drugs that would enable you to to be
[TS]
◼
►
your your best self is your best self
[TS]
◼
►
not with the goal of intoxication or
[TS]
◼
►
enlightenment but just basically what
[TS]
◼
►
unlocking potential that's otherwise
[TS]
◼
►
difficult to access the whole business
[TS]
◼
►
of like the only use ten percent your
[TS]
◼
►
brain business which is not true but
[TS]
◼
►
let's but but a lot of those wired
[TS]
◼
►
magazine think pieces let's call some of
[TS]
◼
►
them think pieces some of them were just
[TS]
◼
►
reportage and some of them were were
[TS]
◼
►
think pieces start out with coverage on
[TS]
◼
►
a scene move his coverage of the smart
[TS]
◼
►
drug scene that's right we've heard
[TS]
◼
►
about let's talk to some of these people
[TS]
◼
►
that's kind of where we are right now
[TS]
◼
►
people want to be robots there's a
[TS]
◼
►
largest general coverage of like oh I've
[TS]
◼
►
got this thing like a hard thing on NPR
[TS]
◼
►
which is like the wired of the 2010 mom
[TS]
◼
►
of a guy who has a thing that he has an
[TS]
◼
►
Augmented antenna for his head to help
[TS]
◼
►
you see colors because he's colorblind
[TS]
◼
►
oh so you know I'm i support that people
[TS]
◼
►
razem I guess he looks like an
[TS]
◼
►
anglerfish like a female anglerfish
[TS]
◼
►
my body's got a henna that helps them
[TS]
◼
►
see colors oh and it's necessary that it
[TS]
◼
►
be an antenna it's not a it's not a
[TS]
◼
►
thing where he was like can you make
[TS]
◼
►
that look like an antenna because i am a
[TS]
◼
►
no it's not a glamour I say anything but
[TS]
◼
►
don't know but no you're right that's
[TS]
◼
►
what starts and then you get into the
[TS]
◼
►
whole like I think he gets into the only
[TS]
◼
►
going to the first person reportage like
[TS]
◼
►
I tried taking piracy them from want to
[TS]
◼
►
see what happens right then of course
[TS]
◼
►
you get into the double thinks the the
[TS]
◼
►
tricky three-part turn american life
[TS]
◼
►
version of like do smart drugs really do
[TS]
◼
►
whoops they do it's not what we expected
[TS]
◼
►
whoops twist again right and that and
[TS]
◼
►
the twist the ultimate twist is always
[TS]
◼
►
if you don't take smart drugs are you
[TS]
◼
►
gonna be able to keep up
[TS]
◼
►
yeah are you going to be are you going
[TS]
◼
►
to be competitive
[TS]
◼
►
are you gonna be still working on your
[TS]
◼
►
first app when the people at your school
[TS]
◼
►
who weren't even as smart as you write
[TS]
◼
►
are already making their sixth or
[TS]
◼
►
seventh app right are you still working
[TS]
◼
►
on your first TED talk when you know
[TS]
◼
►
when the little kids are still sketching
[TS]
◼
►
it out while this guy down the street he
[TS]
◼
►
got a couple shots of saline back in
[TS]
◼
►
2002 and now look where he is yeah he's
[TS]
◼
►
done he's done like six tedtalks he's
[TS]
◼
►
got venture capital funding he's got an
[TS]
◼
►
app that makes apps you know everything
[TS]
◼
►
you know and you're in you're sitting
[TS]
◼
►
there with your dick in your hand
[TS]
◼
►
wondering if you should if you should
[TS]
◼
►
make something for the blackberry
[TS]
◼
►
yeah he said Nicholas he's sitting at a
[TS]
◼
►
cosmodrome somewhere getting ready to be
[TS]
◼
►
blasted up to the ISS yeah right
[TS]
◼
►
Darth Vader helmet put on for which he's
[TS]
◼
►
paid for with the fuckin petty cash
[TS]
◼
►
right and you are driving around in a
[TS]
◼
►
Honda Civic trying to figure out evil
[TS]
◼
►
what a nap is you gotta like 30 MW you
[TS]
◼
►
do you can't even trade your fucking
[TS]
◼
►
three-year-old BMW for a new BMW you see
[TS]
◼
►
this one leaving the leads are weak you
[TS]
◼
►
are weak believe you are wanting to even
[TS]
◼
►
set the time on a Rolex I don't even
[TS]
◼
►
know how you do it i think you need a
[TS]
◼
►
second rolex someone to two-factor
[TS]
◼
►
authentication you have the role you
[TS]
◼
►
send the Rolex back
[TS]
◼
►
yep this is visit there's a very small
[TS]
◼
►
large fee for sending in the Rolex a set
[TS]
◼
►
they send it back but they give you a
[TS]
◼
►
loaner rolling to make sure that the
[TS]
◼
►
time still correct Johnson just taking a
[TS]
◼
►
minute to cough oh you sound like you're
[TS]
◼
►
whoa oh oh oh yeah that was great that
[TS]
◼
►
was uh yeah that was like it was like a
[TS]
◼
►
trout was living in my lungs
[TS]
◼
►
oh and now he's not there anymore huh
[TS]
◼
►
he's in a tissue on the table I think
[TS]
◼
►
tattoo removal is gonna be huge
[TS]
◼
►
well could be huge people have been
[TS]
◼
►
saying tattoo removal is going to be
[TS]
◼
►
huge for 20 years right
[TS]
◼
►
I told you the story about the guy who
[TS]
◼
►
had his who had his arms covered with
[TS]
◼
►
the like hot rod racing tattoos
[TS]
◼
►
the man's ruin tattoos and the tumbling
[TS]
◼
►
dice and the the naked devil girl
[TS]
◼
►
surrounded by a halo of flames and I I
[TS]
◼
►
told you this story don't tell me again
[TS]
◼
►
know not everybody listen to every
[TS]
◼
►
episode and i was i was with them at a
[TS]
◼
►
party and somebody's like we need
[TS]
◼
►
somebody to go on a beer run and I was
[TS]
◼
►
like it you got a car and he said yeah I
[TS]
◼
►
was like all right let's go let's go to
[TS]
◼
►
the beer store i think you know partly i
[TS]
◼
►
picked a more pointed them out because I
[TS]
◼
►
was like this guy's gonna have the hot
[TS]
◼
►
oh right he's got checkered flag cross
[TS]
◼
►
checkered flags on his forearm we get
[TS]
◼
►
out to his car and it's a 92 toyota two
[TS]
◼
►
wheel drive pickup man i was like got in
[TS]
◼
►
the Cardinals really disappointed and I
[TS]
◼
►
couldn't help but say something I was
[TS]
◼
►
like so what's the story man you got
[TS]
◼
►
this Toyota hear you always a place
[TS]
◼
►
hotrod tattoos to race motorcycles
[TS]
◼
►
there's like no so do you have a hot rod
[TS]
◼
►
somewhere no did you ever know
[TS]
◼
►
so what's what's what's with the
[TS]
◼
►
hydrogen's like well this one used to be
[TS]
◼
►
a dancing bear and this one used to be
[TS]
◼
►
you know Pooh they're all cover-ups this
[TS]
◼
►
one was Winnie the Pooh flying a
[TS]
◼
►
and this one over here was a fucking
[TS]
◼
►
smiling sun and this one was you know
[TS]
◼
►
Jerry's hand missing a finger and I was
[TS]
◼
►
like you are fucking kidding me you had
[TS]
◼
►
a hippie tattoos all over and now you've
[TS]
◼
►
got hot rod tattoos covering the Marlins
[TS]
◼
►
look you and I said what are you gonna
[TS]
◼
►
do when heart tattoos are the hippie
[TS]
◼
►
tattoos of the two thousands because the
[TS]
◼
►
nineties are going to make the sixties
[TS]
◼
►
look like the fifties and he was like it
[TS]
◼
►
hadn't even occurred to him right and
[TS]
◼
►
that turns out I was wrong
[TS]
◼
►
hotrod punk-rock hotrod tattoos never go
[TS]
◼
►
he had fucked up the first time and
[TS]
◼
►
gotten hippie tattoos and then he
[TS]
◼
►
decided he didn't want to live in that
[TS]
◼
►
in the rarefied air of rainbow
[TS]
◼
►
gatherings and now he was he'd gone hot
[TS]
◼
►
rod and I'm sure he's still very happy
[TS]
◼
►
with those but uh but I people have been
[TS]
◼
►
saying tattoo removal tattoo removal but
[TS]
◼
►
I just see more and more tattoos all
[TS]
◼
►
that are you think it's like virtual
[TS]
◼
►
reality like we're just going to keep
[TS]
◼
►
hearing about it like every three to
[TS]
◼
►
well I've never really gonna get pay
[TS]
◼
►
it's just like moms and people that
[TS]
◼
►
didn't get tattoos constantly wanting to
[TS]
◼
►
uh-huh because to a certain minority but
[TS]
◼
►
i don't know if it's a minority but i
[TS]
◼
►
think i guess probably still the
[TS]
◼
►
majority but to a certain group of
[TS]
◼
►
people take a moral stand on tattoos and
[TS]
◼
►
they keep wanting to be vindicated right
[TS]
◼
►
be all you're gonna be sorry you're
[TS]
◼
►
going to be sorry and all the people
[TS]
◼
►
with tattoos continue to not be sorry
[TS]
◼
►
and there are plenty of people out there
[TS]
◼
►
who have aged to old age and died
[TS]
◼
►
who had tattoos the entire time and
[TS]
◼
►
we're not sorry a little bit well yeah
[TS]
◼
►
maybe I don't immoral in my case but I
[TS]
◼
►
mean part of it also is like there's
[TS]
◼
►
never is never a good day to be 75 and
[TS]
◼
►
go what the fuck did I do well yeah but
[TS]
◼
►
I this is the weird thing
[TS]
◼
►
what I have discovered in my long
[TS]
◼
►
travels is that there are people who do
[TS]
◼
►
not have a regret right i want to hear
[TS]
◼
►
this but all the reason I mention this
[TS]
◼
►
because my dad who let you know passed
[TS]
◼
►
away and making sense
[TS]
◼
►
before he had a tattoo removed oh what
[TS]
◼
►
was he when he's in Korea got an
[TS]
◼
►
ill-advised tattoo with the name of his
[TS]
◼
►
den fiance and his mother on it he was
[TS]
◼
►
drunk one night in tokyo on leave who
[TS]
◼
►
and got a tattoo
[TS]
◼
►
it's like the worst cliché of all time
[TS]
◼
►
and he was not my mommy loves him he's
[TS]
◼
►
like I got to get this got to get this
[TS]
◼
►
removed i don't remember ever having
[TS]
◼
►
seen it but i guess i don't remember
[TS]
◼
►
exactly when he goes before I would have
[TS]
◼
►
cognizance of the these kinds of things
[TS]
◼
►
and apparently the lake late sixties
[TS]
◼
►
early seventies version of to having a
[TS]
◼
►
tattoo removal was not pretty
[TS]
◼
►
no I think they put us they put a
[TS]
◼
►
grinder on you it was I mean of the
[TS]
◼
►
accounts that I've heard from my mom it
[TS]
◼
►
was just ridiculously unpleasant I guess
[TS]
◼
►
I so part of what i'm saying is yeah I'm
[TS]
◼
►
like to use whatever who cares but what
[TS]
◼
►
I'm saying is like also it like think
[TS]
◼
►
about a world where getting a tattoo
[TS]
◼
►
removed is eighteen ninety percent
[TS]
◼
►
ninety percent effective for most kinds
[TS]
◼
►
of tattoos that are colors that I heard
[TS]
◼
►
colors are really hard but color and
[TS]
◼
►
kind of things not going to well you
[TS]
◼
►
knows what is that from i know that
[TS]
◼
►
colors is colors colors colors so I
[TS]
◼
►
could die for your life when you shotgun
[TS]
◼
►
scatters the fort apache the bronx ilysm
[TS]
◼
►
no I see I stigmatize te and but imagine
[TS]
◼
►
if we got to wear like you still get a
[TS]
◼
►
tattoo and commit to it but that doors
[TS]
◼
►
not closed forever
[TS]
◼
►
let's say it's about as hard as John
[TS]
◼
►
getting his teeth adjusted you go down
[TS]
◼
►
to the bartells and you get it done or
[TS]
◼
►
or somebody have salsa has two saw your
[TS]
◼
►
well i'm thinking like what if it's
[TS]
◼
►
enough we go again that's sure if I want
[TS]
◼
►
to do this and but let's say something
[TS]
◼
►
is really awful like save a tattoo or
[TS]
◼
►
something where like for any variety of
[TS]
◼
►
reasons like you know something outside
[TS]
◼
►
of your control like swastikas on your
[TS]
◼
►
knuckles Bill Cosby tattoo
[TS]
◼
►
let's say you gotta to the cause hmm so
[TS]
◼
►
even though i think we can all still say
[TS]
◼
►
he is easily one of the great stand-up
[TS]
◼
►
comedian of all time I don't know if I
[TS]
◼
►
mhm mhm know yet reasons at that point I
[TS]
◼
►
see what you're saying well you know
[TS]
◼
►
there are a lot of people I know and you
[TS]
◼
►
know who have one tattoo right like
[TS]
◼
►
Hodgman i hope i'm not giving anything
[TS]
◼
►
away here I don't think I am
[TS]
◼
►
he's pretty open about Hardman has one
[TS]
◼
►
tattoo Wow one tattoo which is a which
[TS]
◼
►
is an inexpert tattoo not quite a prison
[TS]
◼
►
tattoo put clothes which is up on his
[TS]
◼
►
shoulder and it is of a diamond tiny
[TS]
◼
►
blue diamond with little raise i guess
[TS]
◼
►
i've never seen him shirtless it's a
[TS]
◼
►
tiny little thing that he doesn't he has
[TS]
◼
►
an explanation for it doesn't buy
[TS]
◼
►
clothes around displaying it for example
[TS]
◼
►
no no it'sit's in the pits in a personal
[TS]
◼
►
area that you wouldn't see unless you
[TS]
◼
►
had seen Hodgman without a shirt on and
[TS]
◼
►
he I think spend a great many years
[TS]
◼
►
where he avoided that opportunity for
[TS]
◼
►
most people here is like most nerdy
[TS]
◼
►
Radecki sure yeah that's right- you know
[TS]
◼
►
for years I would go swimming with
[TS]
◼
►
Hardman and he would swim in an outfit
[TS]
◼
►
back into a nineteenth-century swimming
[TS]
◼
►
costume which is perfectly in character
[TS]
◼
►
also look at like Gibson Girl going to
[TS]
◼
►
the bloomers canada didn't bloomers but
[TS]
◼
►
you know like a like a like an
[TS]
◼
►
old-fashioned weightlifters costume idea
[TS]
◼
►
with the curly mustache caliber and like
[TS]
◼
►
like a weight lifters costume but so he
[TS]
◼
►
has this tattoo and the thing is it is
[TS]
◼
►
it is absolutely ridiculous tattoo but
[TS]
◼
►
he's not ashamed of it he owns it
[TS]
◼
►
because it represents that moment in
[TS]
◼
►
time right and I think there are a lot
[TS]
◼
►
of people that have one tattoo who for
[TS]
◼
►
whom it represents a moment in time and
[TS]
◼
►
they wouldn't have it removed even if
[TS]
◼
►
they could because there it is right
[TS]
◼
►
look at it they say that yeah I was tore
[TS]
◼
►
me um but I wonder if you could just go
[TS]
◼
►
to bartells and get my that's not an
[TS]
◼
►
advertisement for bar teleport tells
[TS]
◼
►
John oh oh I'm sorry well now in that
[TS]
◼
►
advertisement for party drugstore to the
[TS]
◼
►
drugstore in that started in seattle and
[TS]
◼
►
my dad in the in the twenties was a
[TS]
◼
►
delivery boy for bartels he would people
[TS]
◼
►
would order stuff from the pharmacy my
[TS]
◼
►
dad would go in his knickers and his
[TS]
◼
►
lace-up boots that he needed a little
[TS]
◼
►
hook to lace up my goodness he would
[TS]
◼
►
ride his bike to the bartells they put
[TS]
◼
►
the stuff in a basket in the front of
[TS]
◼
►
his bike and he would run this way he
[TS]
◼
►
was the he was the delivery boy for the
[TS]
◼
►
chinatown Jeff japantown neighborhood so
[TS]
◼
►
he would race around and take little
[TS]
◼
►
bags of predicaments in 28 he said he
[TS]
◼
►
would go into these chinese tall's which
[TS]
◼
►
are like secret societies and there'd be
[TS]
◼
►
all these people in smoke-filled room
[TS]
◼
►
playing mahjong then he would walk
[TS]
◼
►
through with his little with his little
[TS]
◼
►
newsboy cap and his knickers and he
[TS]
◼
►
would go and knock on a door in the back
[TS]
◼
►
and they would open it there'd be all
[TS]
◼
►
these guys in a really smoke filled room
[TS]
◼
►
and he would hand handle paper bag to
[TS]
◼
►
one of them filled with who knows what
[TS]
◼
►
and he would give my dad a couple of
[TS]
◼
►
coins and he'd go ride his bike back to
[TS]
◼
►
the bar tells my dad would tell these
[TS]
◼
►
stories endlessly and it's why it's why
[TS]
◼
►
does it happen that like your canonical
[TS]
◼
►
drugstore now so bartels is like all
[TS]
◼
►
over Seattle and you can go to a rite
[TS]
◼
►
aid or what's the other one yes or
[TS]
◼
►
longer and walgreens right the walgreens
[TS]
◼
►
where they come into a neighborhood and
[TS]
◼
►
they plop down there
[TS]
◼
►
quote unquote signature architecture
[TS]
◼
►
with their little hammer or pestle and
[TS]
◼
►
mortar and pestle and mortar pestle it's
[TS]
◼
►
a hammer and pestle that that was the
[TS]
◼
►
Soviet flag with the hammer and pestle
[TS]
◼
►
yeah so bartels is our homegrown store
[TS]
◼
►
here and and you know my dad has a
[TS]
◼
►
connection to it so that that makes it
[TS]
◼
►
again i will i will advertise for free
[TS]
◼
►
for them and if they ever got to remove
[TS]
◼
►
their you gonna put your blessing on
[TS]
◼
►
that well but that's what I wonder I
[TS]
◼
►
wonder if let's say at some point in
[TS]
◼
►
your early twenties you got a giant
[TS]
◼
►
tattoo on your neck of the Virgin Mary
[TS]
◼
►
not because you were Catholic but
[TS]
◼
►
because a giant tattoo of the Virgin
[TS]
◼
►
Mary on your neck looked rad to you
[TS]
◼
►
because you like drive like jehu and
[TS]
◼
►
then at a certain point you're like I
[TS]
◼
►
work now a job i gotta trying to get you
[TS]
◼
►
know I'm trying to date online i'm not
[TS]
◼
►
sure if this is repping what I'm repping
[TS]
◼
►
anymore but then again i think if you
[TS]
◼
►
get a virgin mary on your neck you don't
[TS]
◼
►
you're you keep prepping it
[TS]
◼
►
yeah I think it's definitely become a
[TS]
◼
►
lot more okay um which is good
[TS]
◼
►
I've seen I have seen a lot of that lot
[TS]
◼
►
of there's a cop in our neighborhood
[TS]
◼
►
who's got all porch on ya see I think
[TS]
◼
►
there might be there are certainly right
[TS]
◼
►
now some Germans and Scandinavians
[TS]
◼
►
listening this program who are already
[TS]
◼
►
compiling a list of homeopathic drugs
[TS]
◼
►
that I should have been taking the whole
[TS]
◼
►
time I thought the Germans didn't like
[TS]
◼
►
no wait Germans like st. John's water
[TS]
◼
►
they hate st. John's wort always forget
[TS]
◼
►
my experience of Germans is that they
[TS]
◼
►
believe in herbs and they don't like
[TS]
◼
►
Scientology they do not like Scientology
[TS]
◼
►
but they don't think Jeremy come down
[TS]
◼
►
pretty hard on the Scientologists oh
[TS]
◼
►
yeah i think they made it illegal
[TS]
◼
►
because they are because they have a
[TS]
◼
►
favor about cults but they believe in
[TS]
◼
►
herbs because they are still Animists
[TS]
◼
►
there we discuss relationship just
[TS]
◼
►
certain ideas is a little bit like your
[TS]
◼
►
relationship to certain kinds of
[TS]
◼
►
substances who consider all right go on
[TS]
◼
►
well example you know she saying
[TS]
◼
►
yeah yeah I don't put too fine a point
[TS]
◼
►
on it it's a certain kinds of ideas that
[TS]
◼
►
they would just as soon we set aside
[TS]
◼
►
because you know there's a reason we we
[TS]
◼
►
don't keep you know a bottle of whiskey
[TS]
◼
►
by the refrigerator
[TS]
◼
►
oh because you would have a sip every
[TS]
◼
►
time you went to the refrigerator
[TS]
◼
►
yeah yeah I'm pretty soon the whole
[TS]
◼
►
houses whiskey bottles so if you get
[TS]
◼
►
something that's a little bit like a
[TS]
◼
►
culture you get an idea that's a little
[TS]
◼
►
bit too sticky about a certain kind of
[TS]
◼
►
authoritarianism
[TS]
◼
►
I'm saying now you're making some
[TS]
◼
►
connections yeah actually there was a
[TS]
◼
►
really good episode of a ninety-percent
[TS]
◼
►
visible about this about the what's a
[TS]
◼
►
call this idea in Germany that there's
[TS]
◼
►
is called thanks for the gift shrunk
[TS]
◼
►
even with this idea of shrunk is about
[TS]
◼
►
is about drunken gifts because they do
[TS]
◼
►
have those also give strong and so this
[TS]
◼
►
is the idea that there are certain kinds
[TS]
◼
►
of books in particular that have ideas
[TS]
◼
►
that are so dangerous that we have to
[TS]
◼
►
maintain a copy of these like sort of
[TS]
◼
►
like a virus that you want to keep
[TS]
◼
►
around for experimentation but you have
[TS]
◼
►
to keep it away from the public and this
[TS]
◼
►
is an idea that has continued to endure
[TS]
◼
►
to this day cooling and not spoil the
[TS]
◼
►
ending but you know my conf is is a out
[TS]
◼
►
of copyright now so you can just put all
[TS]
◼
►
kinds of places this idea that goes back
[TS]
◼
►
i think like centuries that what is
[TS]
◼
►
starting 15 eighties the idea that the
[TS]
◼
►
church basically had these certain books
[TS]
◼
►
that they kept a single copy of but like
[TS]
◼
►
you weren't allowed to see right very
[TS]
◼
►
German idea right now or like as chief
[TS]
◼
►
Wiggum says Ralphie why are you so
[TS]
◼
►
interested in DC and daddies forbidden
[TS]
◼
►
closet of mystery who you know saying
[TS]
◼
►
well this was the picture p with the
[TS]
◼
►
Anarchist Cookbook right every time i
[TS]
◼
►
would buy a copy of the Anarchist
[TS]
◼
►
Cookbook my mom would find it on the
[TS]
◼
►
shelves and she would take it and
[TS]
◼
►
destroy it because it was about
[TS]
◼
►
explosives because yeah I was about
[TS]
◼
►
setting Tiger traps and you know
[TS]
◼
►
refighting the Vietnam War and I was
[TS]
◼
►
more interested in like to just the
[TS]
◼
►
clandestine spy craft stuff i don't care
[TS]
◼
►
about the how to make bombs I just
[TS]
◼
►
thought was cool for all the like it was
[TS]
◼
►
that what's that for fantagraphics
[TS]
◼
►
what's the name of that publishing house
[TS]
◼
►
to put out all those books
[TS]
◼
►
yeah well oh those books I don't know
[TS]
◼
►
fantagraphics put out a lot of Dominic's
[TS]
◼
►
oh no you talk about I research survival
[TS]
◼
►
research laboratories but they're so you
[TS]
◼
►
get that little fuck catalog
[TS]
◼
►
yeah the ones that were all about
[TS]
◼
►
vivisection and and general sideshow
[TS]
◼
►
circus and oh there's that research but
[TS]
◼
►
yet anyhow I service doesn't work anyway
[TS]
◼
►
but there's all kinds of stuff in about
[TS]
◼
►
like you know how to hide stuff and all
[TS]
◼
►
that kind of spy stuff that you know
[TS]
◼
►
that you would love is a little kid
[TS]
◼
►
that's what i want to copy i loved
[TS]
◼
►
learning how to make bombs and the in
[TS]
◼
►
Turkish cookbook inspired me to start
[TS]
◼
►
arms and I went through a phase where I
[TS]
◼
►
made a lot of pipe bombs and blue stuff
[TS]
◼
►
up with them until I realized that the
[TS]
◼
►
next thing I blew up was going to be me
[TS]
◼
►
and you'll see you disappointed your
[TS]
◼
►
teacher of memory serves
[TS]
◼
►
yeah and I got in big trouble I got a
[TS]
◼
►
big trouble but uh I feel like I feel
[TS]
◼
►
like that impulse to have a safe room
[TS]
◼
►
that has all the forbidden books is I i
[TS]
◼
►
disagree with that entirely I feel like
[TS]
◼
►
that is a bad that's a bad principles
[TS]
◼
►
that's more like a form of fetishism
[TS]
◼
►
yeah right and I mean it's just a
[TS]
◼
►
ultimately like this is for the dirty
[TS]
◼
►
dirty ideas that i want anyone to know
[TS]
◼
►
about well sure and what inspires is
[TS]
◼
►
like uh then the protocols of the Elders
[TS]
◼
►
of Zion sleaks supposedly and all of the
[TS]
◼
►
people that want to believe that stuff
[TS]
◼
►
have reason to believe that there's a
[TS]
◼
►
secret room with all the secret books
[TS]
◼
►
and so this one snuck out in it and the
[TS]
◼
►
idea that there's a place where books
[TS]
◼
►
like this exists which is a public
[TS]
◼
►
knowledge validates the idea that there
[TS]
◼
►
are that this secret book it must be
[TS]
◼
►
true even though it's it's it's also i
[TS]
◼
►
mean it's not it's not also not
[TS]
◼
►
dissimilar from the reason why a lot of
[TS]
◼
►
us don't want Apple to weaken the
[TS]
◼
►
encryption on their phones people
[TS]
◼
►
don't understand like what's at stake
[TS]
◼
►
here with this right and so you know
[TS]
◼
►
it's like we talked about before like
[TS]
◼
►
you know do you want to have let's say
[TS]
◼
►
you go out and you buy the most secure
[TS]
◼
►
safe that's available and you put in
[TS]
◼
►
your house and you have an entire room
[TS]
◼
►
it's so important an entire room in your
[TS]
◼
►
house and the door says safe on it
[TS]
◼
►
uh-huh and you open up and there's the
[TS]
◼
►
safe yeah well you know and no matter
[TS]
◼
►
how secure that safe is now like
[TS]
◼
►
everybody knows where the safe is
[TS]
◼
►
yeah and all you do is tear the walls
[TS]
◼
►
down to get in yeah you kind of tell ya
[TS]
◼
►
you gotta tear down this wall down this
[TS]
◼
►
wall that's right and then the walls
[TS]
◼
►
came down forbidden things dangerous
[TS]
◼
►
things all these things like week we
[TS]
◼
►
imbue them with power we put them in the
[TS]
◼
►
gift strongly that's exactly and that's
[TS]
◼
►
why no gift wrong you'll get shocked you
[TS]
◼
►
put that stuff out there and let
[TS]
◼
►
everybody has hassle it out with each
[TS]
◼
►
other because yeah right about kids and
[TS]
◼
►
what do you stand on the whole like nah
[TS]
◼
►
no no well you know what I'm saying like
[TS]
◼
►
I i got thought on this one what your
[TS]
◼
►
thought is because I could be very
[TS]
◼
►
interesting point of view there's a lot
[TS]
◼
►
of people who say hey look you know in
[TS]
◼
►
Italy kids have a little wine with
[TS]
◼
►
dinner most kids don't like the taste of
[TS]
◼
►
alcohol but now they've tasted alcohol
[TS]
◼
►
in the house and it's not it's not it's
[TS]
◼
►
not in the gift strong where there have
[TS]
◼
►
to go drive out and find it
[TS]
◼
►
yeah just the idea of the whole idea of
[TS]
◼
►
like I think taking the magic out of
[TS]
◼
►
this forbidden thing he'd ever thought
[TS]
◼
►
on that I support it
[TS]
◼
►
uh I support that although you know
[TS]
◼
►
there's a lot of smugness in Europe
[TS]
◼
►
about drinking because they all say oh
[TS]
◼
►
you mean we give our kids drinks and we
[TS]
◼
►
don't have this alcoholism probably hung
[TS]
◼
►
up like the American that's right or the
[TS]
◼
►
British to our are notorious alcoholics
[TS]
◼
►
and they even though the sort of
[TS]
◼
►
continental Europeans are all smug about
[TS]
◼
►
it but the thing about Cardinal
[TS]
◼
►
Europeans in my experience is that yes
[TS]
◼
►
they do practice moderation but wherever
[TS]
◼
►
their line of what it is moderate intake
[TS]
◼
►
of things is pretty high right so in
[TS]
◼
►
Europe there are a lot of people who are
[TS]
◼
►
just drunk all the time and they don't
[TS]
◼
►
go they don't fantasize it to the point
[TS]
◼
►
where they are you know alcoholics like
[TS]
◼
►
you see in shakes the clown
[TS]
◼
►
but they are picture the picture that's
[TS]
◼
►
often drawn of the role of vodka
[TS]
◼
►
yeah right for Soviet Union yeah that's
[TS]
◼
►
right that's right where people are just
[TS]
◼
►
drinking themselves to death
[TS]
◼
►
sounds pretty bad but in france and
[TS]
◼
►
italy and germany people are just
[TS]
◼
►
fucking drunk all the time they're just
[TS]
◼
►
they keep a lid on it and they managed
[TS]
◼
►
to go to work on Monday night the kind
[TS]
◼
►
of maintenance drinking we're just
[TS]
◼
►
having a little bit all day now they're
[TS]
◼
►
just how they drink with a drink with
[TS]
◼
►
lunch they drink with dinner they drink
[TS]
◼
►
with late breakfast they drink with they
[TS]
◼
►
just drink all the time
[TS]
◼
►
yeah and so that you know so the
[TS]
◼
►
smugness is like yeah right okay you
[TS]
◼
►
guys are all live in life you know
[TS]
◼
►
you're really sucking the marrow out of
[TS]
◼
►
life but you are your you spend all your
[TS]
◼
►
time and in restaurants which are really
[TS]
◼
►
bars and you're just always a little bit
[TS]
◼
►
shitfaced so yeah I think that kids
[TS]
◼
►
should drink a little wine with dinner
[TS]
◼
►
but I also feel like alcohol is a human
[TS]
◼
►
is like this widely accepted waited
[TS]
◼
►
beach checked out most of the time
[TS]
◼
►
right right so two things on this topic
[TS]
◼
►
oh no not Gary no Gary Roscoe Roscoe /
[TS]
◼
►
Skeeter oh no just last week shuffled
[TS]
◼
►
off this mortal coil can eat for are far
[TS]
◼
►
more listeners kill my people who
[TS]
◼
►
schemers so Skeeter and Gary live across
[TS]
◼
►
the street from me neither one of them
[TS]
◼
►
is the leaseholder Gary lives in his van
[TS]
◼
►
in the front yard Skeeter lives in the
[TS]
◼
►
Gary still lives in the vanity area is
[TS]
◼
►
still in the Vale gary has jerry has
[TS]
◼
►
grandfather themselves you ever cast it
[TS]
◼
►
would be this long
[TS]
◼
►
no I goodness and I used all of my
[TS]
◼
►
psionic power to dismember Gary while he
[TS]
◼
►
slept but gary has gary has a matured
[TS]
◼
►
into kind of a lively
[TS]
◼
►
character droke in the neighborhood
[TS]
◼
►
he's never you know oh yeah kara I was
[TS]
◼
►
I'm Gary's best friend he remembers me
[TS]
◼
►
having that you know so not only does he
[TS]
◼
►
remember me but now I have to avoid Gary
[TS]
◼
►
because he's going to strike up a long
[TS]
◼
►
conversation with me about and this part
[TS]
◼
►
of the conversation is about jesus which
[TS]
◼
►
I'm just like Kari look of all the
[TS]
◼
►
things that you shouldn't be
[TS]
◼
►
representing to me right now is the
[TS]
◼
►
power of Jesus old living in your van
[TS]
◼
►
and street drunk guy but Skeeter lived
[TS]
◼
►
Skeeter was gonna marry the matron of
[TS]
◼
►
the house the lady who who owns the
[TS]
◼
►
that's right and the reason she wasn't
[TS]
◼
►
correct me if I'm wrong but over time
[TS]
◼
►
she's been very generous about making
[TS]
◼
►
this a place that's almost like an
[TS]
◼
►
ad-hoc halfway house right people could
[TS]
◼
►
come and kind of like get their legs
[TS]
◼
►
under there she has a generous spirit
[TS]
◼
►
she is always trying to rescue people
[TS]
◼
►
she's a rescue her and so she rescued
[TS]
◼
►
these two ding-a-lings some for some
[TS]
◼
►
reason I have no idea why they may I
[TS]
◼
►
think that she knew Skeeter for a long
[TS]
◼
►
time and and gary is native to the
[TS]
◼
►
neighborhood this is the thing that I
[TS]
◼
►
found out about their long ago
[TS]
◼
►
Gary grew up in that neighborhood I'd
[TS]
◼
►
Gary might have been living in that
[TS]
◼
►
no I remember when he moved in but Gary
[TS]
◼
►
you know as a teenager might have been
[TS]
◼
►
sleeping in that front yard
[TS]
◼
►
well anyways the reason I called Roscoe
[TS]
◼
►
Skeeter was of course because he had a
[TS]
◼
►
neck tattoo of a giant mosquitoes
[TS]
◼
►
sucking blood out of his neck which was
[TS]
◼
►
just like oh like a truffle oil
[TS]
◼
►
no look it was sucking it out like a
[TS]
◼
►
shitty like a shitty tattoo he got in
[TS]
◼
►
Kodiak ok of a mosquito as big as your
[TS]
◼
►
this is a sucking blood out of his neck
[TS]
◼
►
which was just like the first time I met
[TS]
◼
►
him I was like let me guess you uh
[TS]
◼
►
worked in Alaska he was like how'd you
[TS]
◼
►
know man I was like there's only one
[TS]
◼
►
reason you would have a tattoo of a
[TS]
◼
►
mosquito on your neck unless you're from
[TS]
◼
►
Siberia and you don't seem Canadian you
[TS]
◼
►
you worked in Alaskans like i did 25
[TS]
◼
►
years of advertisement every anyway so
[TS]
◼
►
here I and he used to mean
[TS]
◼
►
and the fact that his was quote-unquote
[TS]
◼
►
real name was Roscoe there's no way his
[TS]
◼
►
name was Roscoe his fucking name is
[TS]
◼
►
probably Brian but nobody knew it's
[TS]
◼
►
because he'd been going by roscoe sense
[TS]
◼
►
both sense back in a time when calling
[TS]
◼
►
yourself Roscoe seemed cool right can
[TS]
◼
►
you remember the remember the party in
[TS]
◼
►
1982 we're like I'm Roscoe everybody
[TS]
◼
►
said that's great and then it just stuck
[TS]
◼
►
but Skeeter worked much better for me so
[TS]
◼
►
much so that I started calling Skeeter
[TS]
◼
►
to his face but he you know he didn't
[TS]
◼
►
know what the fuck was up or down and so
[TS]
◼
►
he died of liver failure on now which I
[TS]
◼
►
had been i had watched the decline
[TS]
◼
►
across the street until you know he was
[TS]
◼
►
just experiencing all that i don't know
[TS]
◼
►
if you've ever watched somebody with
[TS]
◼
►
it's not pretty no you get bloated and
[TS]
◼
►
you get a John to see and and all that
[TS]
◼
►
was happening and a couple of times i'm
[TS]
◼
►
talking to him in the street knows i
[TS]
◼
►
came in you know you're past the point
[TS]
◼
►
now like you got to get some help for
[TS]
◼
►
you it's it's a like you're it's not
[TS]
◼
►
it's not a joke anymore obviously you
[TS]
◼
►
know that he was like yeah well I'm
[TS]
◼
►
trying to listen that but he wasn't and
[TS]
◼
►
so I don't think he was about 55 or
[TS]
◼
►
that's all 50 signs as he looked like he
[TS]
◼
►
was a thousand years old but so so
[TS]
◼
►
skeeters gone making Gary top dog like
[TS]
◼
►
Gary now I the yesterday the the boy
[TS]
◼
►
prince has ascended yeah right good
[TS]
◼
►
skier always kept kept Gary down but at
[TS]
◼
►
last is two days ago I I look out my
[TS]
◼
►
Gary's laughs and he's walking up and
[TS]
◼
►
down the street I don't think
[TS]
◼
►
celebrating but I just feel like he
[TS]
◼
►
finally felt released because he Gary
[TS]
◼
►
would tell me in the middle of the night
[TS]
◼
►
I'd run into him in the street and he'd
[TS]
◼
►
be like you know Roscoe threaten me with
[TS]
◼
►
a knife like you know my name is Paul
[TS]
◼
►
and this is between y'all
[TS]
◼
►
he's like no no he like some you know
[TS]
◼
►
some like fish knife was like seriously
[TS]
◼
►
I don't want to hear it
[TS]
◼
►
I don't want to hear you guys are all
[TS]
◼
►
bananas so so that's one that's one
[TS]
◼
►
element that's what happened is a power
[TS]
◼
►
vacuum well so I don't know what's I
[TS]
◼
►
don't know what's gonna happen whether
[TS]
◼
►
you might try to move in
[TS]
◼
►
I don't think she won't have it right
[TS]
◼
►
she won't have him in the house but you
[TS]
◼
►
know he has graduated to like trusted
[TS]
◼
►
handyman um where he's you know I don't
[TS]
◼
►
know if he's ever been up on the roof
[TS]
◼
►
cleaning out the gutters but he's doing
[TS]
◼
►
little little inconsequential chores
[TS]
◼
►
taking out the garbage that type of
[TS]
◼
►
thing but what you know what I worry
[TS]
◼
►
about is that she that she saved some
[TS]
◼
►
other guy that we go back we go back to
[TS]
◼
►
yung skeeter we reset and there's you
[TS]
◼
►
know some next guy i don't i don't know
[TS]
◼
►
I I root for her I think she's a lovely
[TS]
◼
►
person right and I know that he been
[TS]
◼
►
very concerned about her her actual like
[TS]
◼
►
you know Joe kidding and stuff aside the
[TS]
◼
►
concerned about her welfare where you
[TS]
◼
►
know she wasn't on the scene very much
[TS]
◼
►
people seem to be coming in and out of
[TS]
◼
►
the house align there was a bad time
[TS]
◼
►
there there was a bad time with before
[TS]
◼
►
before Rosco lost his agency where he
[TS]
◼
►
was just it seemed to me like he was
[TS]
◼
►
stripping the place right
[TS]
◼
►
anyway that's one that's one side of
[TS]
◼
►
this conversation that I thought though
[TS]
◼
►
that their longtime listeners who wonder
[TS]
◼
►
about the saga I would want to know I'm
[TS]
◼
►
sorry to hear that
[TS]
◼
►
yeah well you know he uh he was colorful
[TS]
◼
►
guy and any he burned brightly uh-huh he
[TS]
◼
►
went on gently into this goodnight the
[TS]
◼
►
other the other side this conversation
[TS]
◼
►
that may interest you is that when i was
[TS]
◼
►
very sick and getting an IV the other
[TS]
◼
►
night the doctor who was convicted and
[TS]
◼
►
gave me a look that communicated to me
[TS]
◼
►
that she might be aware of Russia who
[TS]
◼
►
her patient was because at this point is
[TS]
◼
►
the thing with you and I gotta think
[TS]
◼
►
about is there's lots of people in
[TS]
◼
►
positions of power who are a lot younger
[TS]
◼
►
this who is people running for president
[TS]
◼
►
or younger than me
[TS]
◼
►
should I know I know that I don't know
[TS]
◼
►
that's a new one for me none of them
[TS]
◼
►
qualified but but this doctor was our
[TS]
◼
►
age exactly and she was she didn't get
[TS]
◼
►
it she didn't she almost gave me a look
[TS]
◼
►
like she was a fan not know she was a
[TS]
◼
►
doctor right so she's keeping her she
[TS]
◼
►
was giving me a little bit of the the
[TS]
◼
►
head nod you know professor Roderick
[TS]
◼
►
kind of thing at one point when I had my
[TS]
◼
►
IV about halfway through the bag i was
[TS]
◼
►
like oh I've got to go to the party
[TS]
◼
►
because this bag is filled me up with
[TS]
◼
►
water and so in my little gown I grab
[TS]
◼
►
ahold of my little because there's no
[TS]
◼
►
you know it's off its a hospital so
[TS]
◼
►
there's nobody around right there nobody
[TS]
◼
►
actually monitoring it to the emergency
[TS]
◼
►
room going to the emergency room because
[TS]
◼
►
it was late at night
[TS]
◼
►
yeah and sells drive yourself yeah of
[TS]
◼
►
Shang me which everybody was like what
[TS]
◼
►
are you doing and I was like did I
[TS]
◼
►
return the story about the time I got
[TS]
◼
►
hit with a hatchet and they were like no
[TS]
◼
►
this is the first time we've ever met
[TS]
◼
►
I was like it's a great story remind me
[TS]
◼
►
to tie some time to myself to the
[TS]
◼
►
hospital then with blood running down my
[TS]
◼
►
oh my god anyway so I'm walking down the
[TS]
◼
►
hall with my gown and my IV bag attached
[TS]
◼
►
to me and I'm pushing this little IV
[TS]
◼
►
stand and admitted to the bathroom and
[TS]
◼
►
she is coming the other way looking at a
[TS]
◼
►
chart as doctors do and up until that
[TS]
◼
►
point she had maintained a very
[TS]
◼
►
professional demeanor with me but she
[TS]
◼
►
passed me in the hall she looked up saw
[TS]
◼
►
me and there was a momentary a momentary
[TS]
◼
►
candor that went across her face and her
[TS]
◼
►
and she gave me like this and I wouldn't
[TS]
◼
►
know what to describe it to you as other
[TS]
◼
►
than a look I've seen many times which
[TS]
◼
►
was like a little bit of a titter almost
[TS]
◼
►
a titter I was like oh interesting i'm
[TS]
◼
►
not sure whether she voted for me or not
[TS]
◼
►
hope that she hope every doctor in the
[TS]
◼
►
town did alright because of politics
[TS]
◼
►
politics politics everything music I
[TS]
◼
►
forgot about the politics but she's
[TS]
◼
►
she's my age right so she could have
[TS]
◼
►
been she was 29 she could have been a
[TS]
◼
►
fan of one of my bands but it anyway at
[TS]
◼
►
the end of the thing she's like at that
[TS]
◼
►
point in time I was coughing in such a
[TS]
◼
►
way where it looked like I was gonna die
[TS]
◼
►
like I had to bend over
[TS]
◼
►
hold my lungs with my arms and I was I
[TS]
◼
►
was just copying like like the like the
[TS]
◼
►
alien in the first alien movie just you
[TS]
◼
►
know like my second set of teeth came
[TS]
◼
►
out and is coughing up stuff and it was
[TS]
◼
►
now it was a racking cough extremely
[TS]
◼
►
painful and so the doctor very sort of
[TS]
◼
►
lively prescribes me codeine cough syrup
[TS]
◼
►
and there was a moment where my
[TS]
◼
►
reflexive reply which i have been using
[TS]
◼
►
for 20 years the reflexive reply being
[TS]
◼
►
oh I'm sorry I'm in recovery and so I
[TS]
◼
►
don't do codeine cough syrup and I've
[TS]
◼
►
said that 50 times to various doctors
[TS]
◼
►
and they always go oh totally understood
[TS]
◼
►
and they prescribe me
[TS]
◼
►
imodium or what are you know like yeah
[TS]
◼
►
they give you something narcotic yeah
[TS]
◼
►
but in this case I'm sitting there in
[TS]
◼
►
tremendous pain and i have gone to the
[TS]
◼
►
emergency room for a thing that turns
[TS]
◼
►
out to be a virus right and i went to
[TS]
◼
►
the emergency room in part because I had
[TS]
◼
►
a fever for days and i mistakenly
[TS]
◼
►
said so on the internet which I hardly
[TS]
◼
►
ever do i complained about a symptom on
[TS]
◼
►
the internet and I got 45 replies on
[TS]
◼
►
Twitter and 400 replies on facebook all
[TS]
◼
►
telling me that I needed to eat raw
[TS]
◼
►
garlic but there were this one
[TS]
◼
►
surprising trick
[TS]
◼
►
yeah but there were several several
[TS]
◼
►
people who are like I am a medical
[TS]
◼
►
doctor and if you have fever for days
[TS]
◼
►
you need to go to a doctor immediately
[TS]
◼
►
and so all of a sudden what I knew to be
[TS]
◼
►
true which was that if I just cowered
[TS]
◼
►
under these blankets for two more days i
[TS]
◼
►
would start getting better turned into
[TS]
◼
►
this bug in my mind which was no shit
[TS]
◼
►
you've got pneumonia and you're gonna
[TS]
◼
►
die or or it or rather it is normal to
[TS]
◼
►
go to the doctor under these
[TS]
◼
►
circumstances and so I'm gonna go do it
[TS]
◼
►
and so I called the doctor and they were
[TS]
◼
►
like well the doctors office doesn't
[TS]
◼
►
have any appointments available until
[TS]
◼
►
yeah no big you know big it's not like
[TS]
◼
►
anything out like a health issue or
[TS]
◼
►
yeah so you need to go to be a dick
[TS]
◼
►
about it you need to go to the emergency
[TS]
◼
►
clinic block in clinic which of course
[TS]
◼
►
is you know an emergency room by any
[TS]
◼
►
other definition there you go in there
[TS]
◼
►
and it's every kind of person all
[TS]
◼
►
miserable so she prescribes this coding
[TS]
◼
►
cup syrup and there's a part of me that
[TS]
◼
►
wants to feel like my illness is bad
[TS]
◼
►
enough that it that it justified this
[TS]
◼
►
trip because I don't want to walk out of
[TS]
◼
►
here saying well she gave me a pint a
[TS]
◼
►
saline solution and patted me on the
[TS]
◼
►
head and told me I had a cold so she
[TS]
◼
►
gives me this coating cough syrup she
[TS]
◼
►
prescribes us to be and I'm like well
[TS]
◼
►
yes the seriousness of that medicine
[TS]
◼
►
validates howl in pain and how late lo I
[TS]
◼
►
am and so rather than tell her no I just
[TS]
◼
►
SAT there quietly like everybody I mean
[TS]
◼
►
I think probably half the population
[TS]
◼
►
when a doctor says we're going to
[TS]
◼
►
prescribe some codeine cough syrup a
[TS]
◼
►
silent we were rejoice
[TS]
◼
►
oh my god it's like in the lottery it's
[TS]
◼
►
like oh boy I'm gonna get codeine cough
[TS]
◼
►
a totally agree i haven't taken this
[TS]
◼
►
stuff in 20 years and so
[TS]
◼
►
I went home I fill the prescription and
[TS]
◼
►
i went home and i SAT and looked at this
[TS]
◼
►
bottle of codeine cough syrup and I said
[TS]
◼
►
you sir are problem for me because you
[TS]
◼
►
are no more kotik and I haven't taken
[TS]
◼
►
narcotics in 20 years
[TS]
◼
►
this is a bad scene this is one of those
[TS]
◼
►
scenes you did you did get you did fill
[TS]
◼
►
the prescription you had in front of you
[TS]
◼
►
add in front of me so I'm there I'm like
[TS]
◼
►
an L now here we are and then I went who
[TS]
◼
►
have and I bent over i was in a cough so
[TS]
◼
►
badly that I dropped to my knees and was
[TS]
◼
►
banging my head on the floor
[TS]
◼
►
oh Jesus John with this with this cough
[TS]
◼
►
that was coming from my pelvis and it's
[TS]
◼
►
a virus it's just a thing it's just a
[TS]
◼
►
little thing that was floating in the
[TS]
◼
►
air snuck inside me and is trying to
[TS]
◼
►
kill me but isn't really trying to kill
[TS]
◼
►
me just trying to send me a message
[TS]
◼
►
trying to send me a message that God is
[TS]
◼
►
watching me and then I was expressing
[TS]
◼
►
too much hubris some take me down to
[TS]
◼
►
size and so I poured myself four or five
[TS]
◼
►
millimeters five milliliters of codeine
[TS]
◼
►
cough syrup and I took it and then i
[TS]
◼
►
went to sleep and then I woke up the
[TS]
◼
►
next day and woke up to a racking cough
[TS]
◼
►
and I went downstairs and took five
[TS]
◼
►
milliliters of this officer and now I
[TS]
◼
►
was in this tricky place i was like i
[TS]
◼
►
have now taken five milliliters of
[TS]
◼
►
coding two times prescribed by a doctor
[TS]
◼
►
for they had cold where am i where am i
[TS]
◼
►
right now do i need to go back do I need
[TS]
◼
►
to go to an a meeting for the first time
[TS]
◼
►
in a year and a half and throw my
[TS]
◼
►
20-year coin Adam and say I start over
[TS]
◼
►
oh ok i start over i'm back to zero or
[TS]
◼
►
just chill because it's not like I'm you
[TS]
◼
►
know it's not like it was like whoo than
[TS]
◼
►
halfway through the day I had another
[TS]
◼
►
terrible episode of coughing which as
[TS]
◼
►
you know i do not i don't typically well
[TS]
◼
►
I don't exaggerate it all under any
[TS]
◼
►
no but like when you're it's eat at a
[TS]
◼
►
certain point it's one thing to go like
[TS]
◼
►
an excuse me it's another thing when you
[TS]
◼
►
have this entire like torso rattling
[TS]
◼
►
cough that starts in your pelvis we like
[TS]
◼
►
I will do anything to get this out and
[TS]
◼
►
make it stopped because I'm just gonna
[TS]
◼
►
come back and is it is really really
[TS]
◼
►
oh it's awful it's it's in its you'd
[TS]
◼
►
read it you come to dread it and then
[TS]
◼
►
you're like well if I think about this
[TS]
◼
►
one start coughing because it's going to
[TS]
◼
►
start all over again and it is lazy low
[TS]
◼
►
yeah i would be at the cough would start
[TS]
◼
►
and i would try and sequester the cough
[TS]
◼
►
in my throat like somebody with a with
[TS]
◼
►
bad asthma right i do not want to start
[TS]
◼
►
coughing and I'm trying to keep I'm
[TS]
◼
►
trying to dampen this cop because if it
[TS]
◼
►
goes then I'm just ruined and like
[TS]
◼
►
there's nobody in my house i'm there by
[TS]
◼
►
myself it's not like i'm performing for
[TS]
◼
►
anybody I don't even have a cat
[TS]
◼
►
I'm not putting on a show i am like
[TS]
◼
►
laying on the floor writhing in agony
[TS]
◼
►
so I go to pour another cup of codeine
[TS]
◼
►
cough syrup and this time I give myself
[TS]
◼
►
seven milliliters what's your sense of
[TS]
◼
►
how much that is versus the recommended
[TS]
◼
►
dose beats me probably less well yeah
[TS]
◼
►
there's a cop you know like a one of
[TS]
◼
►
those cough syrup cups and I am just
[TS]
◼
►
putting a tiny little you know you're
[TS]
◼
►
probably well below what they would do
[TS]
◼
►
normally cake i'm certainly well below
[TS]
◼
►
what i would have taken 20 years ago but
[TS]
◼
►
you know it's like it's like three
[TS]
◼
►
30 American Cohen quarters stacked
[TS]
◼
►
that's how much it is
[TS]
◼
►
wow wow and so then I went to seven
[TS]
◼
►
millimeters which was adding another
[TS]
◼
►
quarter now it's a stack of four
[TS]
◼
►
in the bottom of this little cup and
[TS]
◼
►
that amount of escalation when I put two
[TS]
◼
►
more milliliters in that cup just
[TS]
◼
►
unconsciously just not just like well I
[TS]
◼
►
just that was a really bad ones just
[TS]
◼
►
give myself a little bit just juice it a
[TS]
◼
►
little bit then I was like holy shit
[TS]
◼
►
whoopsie-daisy oh no you felt something
[TS]
◼
►
no no i didn't really feel anything but
[TS]
◼
►
like that was that was coming from
[TS]
◼
►
oh just that one extra quarter something
[TS]
◼
►
something hit you and you went ok that
[TS]
◼
►
that's the quarter couldn't do me that
[TS]
◼
►
upping the dose that was not shit okay
[TS]
◼
►
that was not anything I didn't feel it
[TS]
◼
►
any differently but that was me upping
[TS]
◼
►
the dose that was me upping the dose
[TS]
◼
►
hoping that I could scrape the underside
[TS]
◼
►
of feeling something right if I just
[TS]
◼
►
keep going up to milliliters at a time I
[TS]
◼
►
reject John going to get to the
[TS]
◼
►
underside of this it's just it it was
[TS]
◼
►
always right and to the edge
[TS]
◼
►
I'm just like I'm laying on the floor
[TS]
◼
►
coughing I by all rational thought I
[TS]
◼
►
this is a this is a medicine which is
[TS]
◼
►
helping me but i just went I just want
[TS]
◼
►
that little peep peep and i took that
[TS]
◼
►
codeine cough syrup and I put it in the
[TS]
◼
►
farthest darkest corner and was like
[TS]
◼
►
that does not exist that is long gone
[TS]
◼
►
from my world and you know for for about
[TS]
◼
►
a half a day more of racking cough I was
[TS]
◼
►
like you know this little one more
[TS]
◼
►
little shot of that would help me a lot
[TS]
◼
►
and I was like fuck you fuck you fuck
[TS]
◼
►
so I don't know whether I go that when i
[TS]
◼
►
throw my 20-year coin atom or whether
[TS]
◼
►
who gives a shit
[TS]
◼
►
it's not about that but that is the
[TS]
◼
►
that's the furthest little test I've
[TS]
◼
►
made like that's the everyone's well you
[TS]
◼
►
know walk through a party and there'll
[TS]
◼
►
be people smoking pot and i will just I
[TS]
◼
►
won't make it and I won't make an
[TS]
◼
►
attempt to not inhale
[TS]
◼
►
whatever just like yeah I wonder bit but
[TS]
◼
►
if somebody if somebody poured me a
[TS]
◼
►
glass of juice and I put it in my mouth
[TS]
◼
►
and I realize there's alcohol in it i
[TS]
◼
►
will go to the bathroom and spit it out
[TS]
◼
►
so I in 20 years I have never taken a
[TS]
◼
►
quote-unquote accidental drink of liquor
[TS]
◼
►
spit every one of them out and never had
[TS]
◼
►
any coding coughs operating like this
[TS]
◼
►
but this was situation where i was just
[TS]
◼
►
like the combination of factors and all
[TS]
◼
►
of a sudden I'm i tiptoe tiptoe and
[TS]
◼
►
didn't didn't notice it at the time but
[TS]
◼
►
immediately looking back immediately
[TS]
◼
►
recognized the tendency wow I feel about
[TS]
◼
►
that i mean so I mean so just state the
[TS]
◼
►
obvious so you don't have any more than
[TS]
◼
►
I don't want and I don't want that stuff
[TS]
◼
►
near me and and you know how I feel
[TS]
◼
►
about it is people ask me this a lot
[TS]
◼
►
is there a point where you stop thinking
[TS]
◼
►
about having a drink you know is there a
[TS]
◼
►
point of sobriety where stop thinking
[TS]
◼
►
about it and in my experience no right
[TS]
◼
►
there's there's never a time when it
[TS]
◼
►
I mean you live in the world there's
[TS]
◼
►
almost no day in my life where the topic
[TS]
◼
►
of alcohol doesn't come up somehow
[TS]
◼
►
you know I work in bars right but also
[TS]
◼
►
it's the world you drive down the street
[TS]
◼
►
it's just alcohol signs all around
[TS]
◼
►
people just alcohol alcohol so know what
[TS]
◼
►
it the it's not a question of it never
[TS]
◼
►
occurred to you are never coming up it's
[TS]
◼
►
always there and as a somebody who's
[TS]
◼
►
it's constantly there the question what
[TS]
◼
►
if i had a drink
[TS]
◼
►
you know that's the that's the little
[TS]
◼
►
question the little voice what are the
[TS]
◼
►
voices just always saying that it is one
[TS]
◼
►
just point of information it that's sort
[TS]
◼
►
of a it seems like you know AAA seems
[TS]
◼
►
like such a mature culture where there's
[TS]
◼
►
just a huge part son seems to me like a
[TS]
◼
►
huge part of a is yeah we've heard that
[TS]
◼
►
before or yeah we've seen that before or
[TS]
◼
►
you know what you're going through right
[TS]
◼
►
now is very well understood in the
[TS]
◼
►
you're not experiencing anything any
[TS]
◼
►
different than what people have
[TS]
◼
►
experienced some people a dozen times
[TS]
◼
►
yeah and one of those is I can have a
[TS]
◼
►
little bit right no yeah i mean that's
[TS]
◼
►
the big one right that's how people
[TS]
◼
►
that's how people come in today and go
[TS]
◼
►
out of a and that's how people get sober
[TS]
◼
►
for nine months and go out that's
[TS]
◼
►
everybody's desire that nobody wants to
[TS]
◼
►
be a holic every single person that
[TS]
◼
►
wants to quit drinking doesn't want to
[TS]
◼
►
quit drinking they want to drink like a
[TS]
◼
►
normal night so they quit and they're
[TS]
◼
►
like I feel great you know what was the
[TS]
◼
►
problem i was just in a bad way i can
[TS]
◼
►
have a little bit and then there you
[TS]
◼
►
know back to be a wino in no time
[TS]
◼
►
and so a big part of going to meetings
[TS]
◼
►
all the time is to keep that voice at
[TS]
◼
►
bay by reminding yourself what will
[TS]
◼
►
happen and doing that by sitting in a
[TS]
◼
►
room full of people who all are having
[TS]
◼
►
that experience and who are coming in
[TS]
◼
►
they're like I was sober for 20 years
[TS]
◼
►
and I got a bad headache and somebody
[TS]
◼
►
gave me some codeine cough syrup and
[TS]
◼
►
three days later I was on a barge to
[TS]
◼
►
Shanghai right and I was out again for
[TS]
◼
►
for 14 years and now i'm back here in a
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16 days sober and thank you so much
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everybody applauds and you go wow you
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know it's that easy all you have to do
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is slip on the ice one time and you know
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for guys like me who say to themselves
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all you know it's I'm I've been clean
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for 20 years and and I've got a lot of
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willpower and I got this thing licked
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there's no part of me that thinks that i
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can go have a drink you know I'm not a
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I've heard enough stories but it's
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fucking hilarious to see how little it
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took to with how little it took for me
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to do do what I did but so I mean I
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totally take your point but it's also a
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testament to your vigilance that you
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were able to see that you know one more
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quarter was too much don't you were you
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it's it's great that you had the ability
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to catch that again because I've heard a
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thousand stories i ran into a guy that
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I'd known for a long time in the program
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I one time about 10 years ago and he
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looked all bagged up and was like hey
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what happened and he said oh I was
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riding my motorcycle and I got side i
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got t-boned by a car and i flew off the
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motorcycle through the front windshield
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of the car and it's split my helmet and
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oh my god and uh you know it wasn't i
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wasn't sure whether I was gonna live or
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die and i had their they were picking
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glass shards out of my eyes and just
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insane story and he was in the hospital
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all messed up and they had about a
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morphine drip and when he woke up out of
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his stupor he spent a day of a morphine
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drip and maybe called the doctor and he
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was like take me off the morphe man
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the doctor was like are you serious
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you've got glass in your eyeball and he
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said yeah i know but if you keep me a
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►
bit more feed the result for me will be
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worse them suffering through this with
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suffering through this with no pain
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►
killer and he told me that story and I
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was like whoa there's a guy who is
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vigilant because he fell so deep
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and he knows he doesn't want to go back
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right and I don't want to go back and so
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you know there was that was by I wasn't
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even on a day on a morphine drip that
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was just me left alone with you know
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with something like left alone with
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something where i had a justification
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►
and I've been in that situation 30 times
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sicker than I was you know but for some
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►
reason right this moment it was a little
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it was a little check and and probably I
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should go to my first day meeting in a
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year and a half and tell that story
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because I be useful to somebody might be
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useful somebody and it would be useful
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►
to me to just be in a room full of
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people who were like ha ha look at you
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►
look at you that's the hubris
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◼
►
that's your universe right there you're
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►
you breast man he flew too close to the
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►
coding it's huge
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►
how you brucey you were because i don't
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►
want to end up like skater who nobody
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►
does not stand up like skater don't want
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to end up like gary gary is going to
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live forever gonna be over there
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►
listening the Jethro tall he's getting
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one calling 911 on you coming tonight
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►
that's right color well you know he
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►
decided that the house next door where
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►
Gary's van is parked is a house where a
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►
couple of Mexican families moved in uh
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►
and they are you know their large
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►
families and they are limited if it's a
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►
fairly big house and may they are our
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►
great neighbors although they have a
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►
rooster nail which is driving me crazy
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►
oh no it's awful but you know I've I
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►
feel like it's a small price to pay up
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►
everybody everybody in the neighborhood
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►
I think they're probably the best
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◼
►
neighbors this fucking rooster
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►
I don't know why they don't know why the
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►
abbot but Gary at one point decided that
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►
they were coming over and messing with
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►
it was like Gary the last people
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►
that are messing with your van are are
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►
the those families they've got like a
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◼
►
lot of kids they go to everybody in the
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►
house is trying hard they got a foothold
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►
you know what I mean yeah last thing i
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►
want to do is go cause trouble
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►
they're not causing trouble with you
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►
Gary you got nothing of value to anybody
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◼
►
because that this is the way I talk to
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►
carry and then he's all that he starts
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►
telling me about Jesus but so at one
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►
point Gary took two in the middle of the
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►
night standing on the other side of the
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►
fence and shouting into their darkened
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►
house where everyone is sleeping
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►
no like shouting sort of slurs and was
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◼
►
pacing back and forth seen stay out of
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►
my van stay out of my yard I know what
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◼
►
you're doing I know you're coming in and
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◼
►
you're damn banana and I had to go i had
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◼
►
to go told Gary that that was that in
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◼
►
keeping with neighborhood standards
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►
uh-huh you know I don't know what
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►
pornography is but I know what I see it
[TS]
◼
►
so hospitable it's in hospital and also
[TS]
◼
►
nobody's best with your van
[TS]
◼
►
except for fucking notes that you're
[TS]
◼
►
imagining tingly feel better
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◼
►
thanks for letting you out on that one
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►
yeah you you have a bad cough John
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