Roderick on the Line

Ep. 203: "Killing Me to Death"


  this episode of Roderick on the line is [TS]

  brought to you by cards against humanity [TS]

  they were too busy watching the apple [TS]

  keynote to write up any copy so hey just [TS]

  enjoy the show [TS]

  [Music] [TS]

  hello I John hi Merlin how's it going [TS]

  pretty good but deep pretty good baby [TS]

  bootie be the telemetry a little bit yep [TS]

  I'm just figuring out what went to [TS]

  launch my rocket [TS]

  oh man how to give your rockets to get [TS]

  Rockets begin around Rockets you but you [TS]

  know what I i don't think i've ever [TS]

  known you to launch a rocket it seems [TS]

  like you keep your powder dry as they [TS]

  used to say it's true I I was going [TS]

  through my stuff the other day and there [TS]

  was like a there's a couple of ammo [TS]

  boxes buried in my closet and I was like [TS]

  what's in this these ammo boxes and I [TS]

  opened them up there full of rockets [TS]

  I'll see this is your supposed to just [TS]

  get those to put your cassettes in yeah [TS]

  i know i know but i always but i always [TS]

  put fireworks and then I used to have a [TS]

  I used to have a big huge ammo box you [TS]

  know one of those 50 caliber ammo boxes [TS]

  and full of fireworks and I was out [TS]

  there is a long time ago I was out with [TS]

  a friend we were shooting off fireworks [TS]

  of a long time huh [TS]

  it was a long time ago and he said [TS]

  people behind this childish things there [TS]

  that i was standing out there lighting [TS]

  off fireworks and my friend who was a [TS]

  little bit of a he was a little bit of a [TS]

  stinker if you know what I mean you [TS]

  little stinker all of a sudden he was a [TS]

  little he was a big guy but he was a [TS]

  little stinker and all of a sudden he [TS]

  says he John oh no it looks like there's [TS]

  something burning [TS]

  he was being completely was trying to be [TS]

  completely sincere and I looked back and [TS]

  there was smoke coming from my fireworks [TS]

  box [TS]

  oh no it was like what the fuck and then [TS]

  all of a sudden all my fireworks started [TS]

  going off and we just SAT there [TS]

  dumbstruck ah as an entire entire ammo [TS]

  box full of like every kind of fireworks [TS]

  and firecrackers bottle rockets that [TS]

  kind of stuff shoot [TS]

  off stuff exploding in the thing just it [TS]

  was there must have been a moment there [TS]

  where you thought the two words nobody [TS]

  likes to think which is oh shit yeah [TS]

  like despite yourself you go like oh [TS]

  this is it this is it this is this is it [TS]

  this is going to be you know the you [TS]

  know this could be for the second maybe [TS]

  the first paragraph of my obit the last [TS]

  thing he saw was smoke coming out of an [TS]

  ammo box full of fireworks [TS]

  I was far enough away that I wasn't I [TS]

  wasn't fearing for my life because you [TS]

  know you want you wanna you want to [TS]

  light the fuse and then get away [TS]

  that's the only instructions you need [TS]

  let the fuse getaway do not holding [TS]

  hands whoo-hoo [TS]

  so I was far enough away you know I knew [TS]

  enough not to be lighting fireworks off [TS]

  next to the box but I but my friend [TS]

  pretty sure through well very sure he's [TS]

  a little stinker these little stinker [TS]

  oh and so a is there was Matt oldest the [TS]

  Norwegian that gives you any indication [TS]

  that's kind of a stinker name [TS]

  yeah one of the lessons that Scott would [TS]

  do no no Norwegians Carol Norwegians are [TS]

  one of the last groups of people move in [TS]

  the world that you can just be openly [TS]

  racist about oh yeah he's gonna stand up [TS]

  for them know what you want from your [TS]

  way when you get to get you like a large [TS]

  what about mads mikkelsen is here in [TS]

  Norway no I wouldn't say well maybe I [TS]

  mean that he's a Swedish have a lot of [TS]

  maps up there surely got largest they [TS]

  got Eric's got errands to get that to [TS]

  use probably what I mean [TS]

  uh-huh anyway so I lost all the [TS]

  fireworks that day and then I chased [TS]

  Matt around the reservoir threatening to [TS]

  kill him but Matt was the number one guy [TS]

  on our cross-country running team [TS]

  oh man you brought you brought a knife [TS]

  to fireworks fight yeah so I'm chasing [TS]

  him but that but we both know I'm never [TS]

  going to catch it was a symbolic chasing [TS]

  a terrible night [TS]

  uh well you know fireworks come and go [TS]

  but anyway i just opened these these [TS]

  crates and i found all these fireworks [TS]

  and I was like it's [TS]

  based on what I know about fireworks [TS]

  these are now unstable they've been some [TS]

  of these are very old you can't really [TS]

  go out and light fuse and get away [TS]

  because some of these might just just go [TS]

  off in your face so now what do you do [TS]

  with them [TS]

  you can't throw him in a bonfire because [TS]

  they'll go every direction right yeah i [TS]

  mean you take it rid of Missy and I [TS]

  don't want to be racist but you don't [TS]

  you know me right [TS]

  I get the feeling that even at their [TS]

  best [TS]

  mostly the kinds of fireworks you get in [TS]

  a parking lot at the end of june are not [TS]

  they're not like a military-grade [TS]

  fireworks that you know what i am saying [TS]

  that probably made somewhere where some [TS]

  some child is putting a certain amount [TS]

  of whatever gunpowder whatever into a [TS]

  little tube and I bet it's not real [TS]

  sciency even if they have robots to do [TS]

  it I bet it's not super sayan see I bet [TS]

  some of them i mean you think about [TS]

  anything to get duds for you get with [TS]

  the blow little too big so the kind of [TS]

  unstable to begin with I'm guessing on [TS]

  what you got humidity spiders you got [TS]

  spiders they're spiders there's all [TS]

  kinds of things that could have [TS]

  infiltrated your ammo box the cause that [TS]

  to be as you say unstable they [TS]

  destabilize overtime yes he could be i [TS]

  mean like you know the the [TS]

  eight-year-old boy and me who says taken [TS]

  to the police the police probably have a [TS]

  room where they can munition those yeah [TS]

  but you're missing the point which is [TS]

  that I still want to explode them [TS]

  yeah I want to explode them in a [TS]

  controlled fashion but i do not want it [TS]

  to be too controlled because it is a [TS]

  firework I want there to be an element [TS]

  of danger [TS]

  I don't want my kid anywhere near it huh [TS]

  but you know until I was until I was 17 [TS]

  I still don't know let's see those later [TS]

  than that until I was 22 and III I still [TS]

  routinely had roman candle fights with [TS]

  my friends we did not obey the at edict [TS]

  to not hold in hand [TS]

  mhm you lit fuse and did not get away we [TS]

  did not get away our friend my friend [TS]

  tried to get away but you didn't try to [TS]

  get away you stood your ground [TS]

  yeah like a gentleman needs to hear [TS]

  crown and you point your enormous roman [TS]

  candle your friend and you shot 12 [TS]

  flaming balls at that [TS]

  often 12 exploding flavor and this was a [TS]

  this was a kind of modern-day jousting [TS]

  that we did around new years eve at the [TS]

  ski resort sure honors honors on the [TS]

  line [TS]

  that's right i mean you need to keep [TS]

  your head down you don't want to get one [TS]

  of these in your face but you kind of [TS]

  state you stand just like a fencer sort [TS]

  of position sideways so you're a smaller [TS]

  target as you can be right and then but [TS]

  that but that but the true warriors [TS]

  advanced right you don't you don't just [TS]

  stand you advance upon your that you got [TS]

  a handle on versus birth situation yet [TS]

  yet yet one guys being a gentleman by [TS]

  understand the nature of the do we got [TS]

  to make this look good then you got [TS]

  somebody else's like I'm taking out and [TS]

  I that's right I'm going for it who [TS]

  but you know you be it's not just a [TS]

  question of like I'm going to score some [TS]

  points here the big points are well this [TS]

  i mean the major points are a i'm going [TS]

  to explode flaming ball on my friend [TS]

  yeah but be i'm also going to i'm going [TS]

  to use this opportunity to assert mine [TS]

  my male dominance over all comers [TS]

  there's a lot of any yeah it's [TS]

  considered to be something we age out of [TS]

  my college or so but there's a lot of [TS]

  what's called one-upsmanship were like [TS]

  you know you're gonna take a drink i'll [TS]

  take another drink [TS]

  you're gonna shoot a flaming ball [TS]

  offshoot another shoe 12 flaming bottom [TS]

  there's that sense of like escalation [TS]

  when when men go head-to-head well and [TS]

  it and often in these scenarios it was [TS]

  not head-to-head but it was three right [TS]

  like three guys in a round-robin just [TS]

  your shooting flaming balls that one [TS]

  friend and then you have to turn because [TS]

  another flaming flaming friend isn't [TS]

  because mad at a hypotenuse [TS]

  uh-huh and then when it's a free-for-all [TS]

  there's like five people in flaming [TS]

  balls everywhere you know you're just [TS]

  lucky to get out with you your head [TS]

  already sounds like a crime scene so fun [TS]

  though so fun to to be an age where you [TS]

  now i have access to unlimited access to [TS]

  fireworks as long as you keep having [TS]

  money and and still believe that you can [TS]

  go your life without being injured [TS]

  he had a dangerous window i still think [TS]

  that about ice coffee sometimes I still [TS]

  think when I go and I get an iced coffee [TS]

  and like you know man this is amazing [TS]

  iced coffee is the greatest thing in the [TS]

  world coffee is great i'm having coffee [TS]

  right now and I'm enjoying your soldiers [TS]

  hot coffee is delicious thing so special [TS]

  about ice coffee so you have an iced [TS]

  coffee especially on a hot day you know [TS]

  you're 11 1130-1230 you you have little [TS]

  pick-me-up you have an iced coffee [TS]

  there's not thought that goes to your [TS]

  head which is a you know I could totally [TS]

  just go get another one of these em [TS]

  there's no one that will stop me looking [TS]

  for more iced coffees and you know what [TS]

  I could I could totally drink these and [TS]

  it would take me about 40 seconds to [TS]

  drink for iced coffees mm there's no one [TS]

  will stop me that's the thing it's like [TS]

  it's like fireworks though you know they [TS]

  might they might go a little bit to give [TS]

  a little bit this looking [TS]

  sure sure you want that fourth light of [TS]

  your wart [TS]

  I don't drink iced coffee not at all no [TS]

  because I've had friends who [TS]

  relationship ended because of iced [TS]

  coffee [TS]

  yeah I mean why would you put ice in a [TS]

  coffee that's my only pot hottest day of [TS]

  the year [TS]

  how to stay here I walk in I say give me [TS]

  coffee em and they say hotter ice and [TS]

  I'm like did I say iced coffee [TS]

  like who if I wanted a nice compliment [TS]

  that I would've been that would've been [TS]

  the first thing I said iced yeah it's [TS]

  not a date it's not don't assume because [TS]

  talk but I want cold coffee that's [TS]

  racist [TS]

  well something in a turkey or Cuba yeah [TS]

  the heart of the day the heart of the [TS]

  coffee they make it they make it hot as [TS]

  you can take it in a Seattle also mmm [TS]

  the only people up here that are [TS]

  drinking iced coffee or people from [TS]

  elsewhere oh no longer barrel is no iced [TS]

  coffee we ought to build a wall we ought [TS]

  to build a wall around see ya then be a [TS]

  gorgeous wall and make and make the iced [TS]

  coffee people pay for will make the [TS]

  organs of the Californians pay for it [TS]

  and we'll say will stood there will be a [TS]

  beautiful ice coffee stand right there [TS]

  and the oregonian at the gate are gonna [TS]

  make the Seattle lights you know like [TS]

  the god dammit seen nobody from Idaho is [TS]

  gonna drink an iced coffee nobody from [TS]

  Montana is except people from California [TS]

  Idaho Lana Idaho Oregon Idaho in my [TS]

  idaho and Holland you don't have an iced [TS]

  coffee [TS]

  doubtful what about you two are doubtful [TS]

  ok utah on each Idaho and Utah what [TS]

  about away honest Colorado and look at [TS]

  wyomin it's the same everywhere that the [TS]

  couture [TS]

  uh-huh georgian Louisiana and yeah [TS]

  that's that's that's no fun new york and [TS]

  i just think that it does take a while [TS]

  the pendulum swings hakuna matata it [TS]

  takes awhile at first you're like oh my [TS]

  god I can't wait till i'm going to be a [TS]

  big boy and drive a car [TS]

  yeah you know and then pretty soon you [TS]

  like nobody will stop you from you know [TS]

  by a car this way too fast that you [TS]

  can't really afford all this is still [TS]

  true me I do this all the time no one [TS]

  will stop me from buying a vintage RV [TS]

  somebody should have stopped me I think [TS]

  people probably tried [TS]

  oh yeah yeah yeah they did but the new [TS]

  the new lesson for me is if the bank [TS]

  won't loan you the money just leave it [TS]

  at that [TS]

  if the bank won't loan you the money [TS]

  just leave it at that if you have to go [TS]

  around the bank interesting if you have [TS]

  to hack the system yes then just leave [TS]

  it leave it leave it there was a period [TS]

  in my high school years where I tried to [TS]

  make gunpowder out of saltpeter and and [TS]

  why did you get saltpeter carbon or uh [TS]

  what was a charcoal Peter charcoal one [TS]

  other element Delta craft cocktail big [TS]

  got a good got a big round ice cube big [TS]

  know it's called the Big Bang it was it [TS]

  was it was three things that you could [TS]

  buy used to be able to buy these things [TS]

  at well in some places in Anchorage it [TS]

  seemed like you could just buy at the [TS]

  drugstore [TS]

  I bet there's a reason they keep [TS]

  saltpeter in stock in whenever there is [TS]

  certainly do what it says uh I mean why [TS]

  would the US military sprinkle it in the [TS]

  sea rations [TS]

  is that true do you think that the [TS]

  chemtrails thing actually that's a good [TS]

  question because I mean it's one of [TS]

  those things we hear that you grew up [TS]

  and so as soon as she said the word [TS]

  saltpeter I merely thought exactly one [TS]

  thing right you keep your boner it's [TS]

  stuff they put don't even know what [TS]

  saltpeter is all i know is as long as [TS]

  I'm almost as long as I've know what [TS]

  Boehner is is that I [TS]

  I've known that saw peter is a thing [TS]

  that they put in your food so that you [TS]

  won't get boners these RV this is a way [TS]

  to control a little bit no horn dog [TS]

  males I've heard the army does this I've [TS]

  heard schools do this her prison [TS]

  students sure you don't you go to like a [TS]

  preschool [TS]

  mm well I mean you know by the time but [TS]

  their own food but also its sulfur's the [TS]

  third ingredient i'm sure there were [TS]

  hundreds of people yelling at me I [TS]

  figured it was love it so you could you [TS]

  used to be able to get well as offering [TS]

  suffered what you get at the end of a [TS]

  match right well sulfur is just like a [TS]

  yes sulfur is what smells like rotten [TS]

  eggs yeah you can find sulfur a lot of [TS]

  places but yeah I think it was a big [TS]

  originally we found it very easy to get [TS]

  saltpeter charcoal and sulfur in cans at [TS]

  the drugstore pretty sure i see i'm [TS]

  imagining you go somewhere else like [TS]

  John jelly bellies and you get a you get [TS]

  like a scoop but and I mean these are [TS]

  all things that you can army-navy maybe [TS]

  army-navy no no because you wanted these [TS]

  are things that you would if you had a [TS]

  hammer and pestle you can see in the [TS]

  morning yeah you hit that is leave then [TS]

  slower this world I you would use these [TS]

  things in other another combinations and [TS]

  other teachers right you put a little [TS]

  sulfur and a little bit of mayonnaise [TS]

  and a little bit of of Hungarian paprika [TS]

  and grind those together and then you [TS]

  use that as a compress on our sprained [TS]

  ankle on ice so it's stuff like that [TS]

  right this is not back before the the [TS]

  nanny culture came along this is that [TS]

  they say in the letter gentlemen handle [TS]

  his up here [TS]

  sure you could you get what you're doing [TS]

  is making medicament ma documents [TS]

  documents i don't even care if it's real [TS]

  work i love it and and so we would [TS]

  combine solve sulfur and saltpeter and [TS]

  charcoal my friends and I that's totally [TS]

  a word in quickly combined in I use [TS]

  words we can find these things in [TS]

  different a different mission same [TS]

  practice [TS]

  oh yeah that's the word [TS]

  I started mistyping breakfast as [TS]

  breakfast is really easy to miss time [TS]

  it's easy for your daughter to miss say [TS]

  and now I think practice should totally [TS]

  be a word i have stopped saying [TS]

  breakfast almost entire practice is so [TS]

  much unless you're gonna say second [TS]

  breakfast because they don't you can [TS]

  make two jokes right that second [TS]

  practice that's fine but breakfast if [TS]

  that feels good that nice mouthfeel it [TS]

  does it really does it's like what you [TS]

  want for breakfast i love it [TS]

  yeah yeah it's accurate my desk I took [TS]

  you out for me documented medicament app [TS]

  it's plural noun medicament sits a [TS]

  substance used for medical treatment of [TS]

  medicament medicament we were never able [TS]

  to get because what it turns out is the [TS]

  the print the mixture of sulfur charcoal [TS]

  and saltpeter that makes gunpowder is a [TS]

  very precise you know you like you wait [TS]

  out mean it's a dish out yeah it's not [TS]

  just start tossing stuff in there was [TS]

  later one other than one-third one-third [TS]

  oh sure like you're making a like Amish [TS]

  cake or something [TS]

  yeah it's not like Amish cake yeah so we [TS]

  could combine these in different in [TS]

  different measurements I think we're [TS]

  just using a teaspoon and sometimes we [TS]

  would get a thing that sparked and and [TS]

  smoked in and made little like a like it [TS]

  seemed like it which is called him and [TS]

  then other times stuff would kind of you [TS]

  know like I don't know we made a lot of [TS]

  snap crackle and pop but we never got [TS]

  anything to explode [TS]

  oh but I vaguely understand an explosion [TS]

  with let's take a sudden amount of the [TS]

  right mixture and then the explosion is [TS]

  when lots of oxygen happens very quickly [TS]

  right you've got you get it's got its [TS]

  got all burn at once just gotta burn so [TS]

  fast that it's like it all it all burns [TS]

  really quickly and then it hits the it [TS]

  expands and then it hits the oxygen and [TS]

  then POW how but at the time talking [TS]

  about 1983-84 you could go to the fred [TS]

  meyer and if if you don't live in a [TS]

  place where there are fred meyers is [TS]

  there a kind of what are they there are [TS]

  this is your looks like you're worth [TS]

  right it's all worth right you could go [TS]

  you can get apparently by he gets in the [TS]

  documents you can get medicament and at [TS]

  the time there was in [TS]

  tire shelf of black powder sold in [TS]

  canisters about the size of Quaker [TS]

  Quaker Oats like big canisters and you [TS]

  could buy black powder in dozens of [TS]

  formulations smokeless powder and how [TS]

  large grain small grain black powder [TS]

  because black powder hunting people [TS]

  still did it quite a lot in Alaska you [TS]

  so you make you know you your or rather [TS]

  there were a lot of people including my [TS]

  friend kels down whoo-hoo loaded their [TS]

  own bullets they had had a you know like [TS]

  like bullet loader machines in their [TS]

  garage scene but later on my uncle made [TS]

  his own bullets [TS]

  yeah you got a picture on bullets if you [TS]

  don't trust the man you want to do you [TS]

  want to add your you want to add 14 [TS]

  grain I steal a name every kind of black [TS]

  powder you can drive my mom crazy about [TS]

  her small black powder macadamia about [TS]

  so we would roll in there at 15 years [TS]

  old who take two canisters of black [TS]

  powder up to the counter and they just [TS]

  sell it to us and we out making pipe [TS]

  bombs all day [TS]

  Wow anymore well so then by the time we [TS]

  were in by the time we're seniors they [TS]

  had moved to the black powder behind the [TS]

  counter and then somewhere there in the [TS]

  middle at least most of the I mean at [TS]

  least the Frederick Frederick Nelson's [TS]

  that the the fred meyers there are [TS]

  northern lights and Benson they stop [TS]

  selling black powder entirely as far as [TS]

  i know but i stopped building pot farms [TS]

  because i had a because we all had a [TS]

  very scary experience with a pipe bomb [TS]

  and and that was the end [TS]

  franklinville to look Franklin wouldn't [TS]

  like that no we're cool by that time had [TS]

  moved over and with spice or he was [TS]

  actually principle of stellar which was [TS]

  a very weird thing stellar was an [TS]

  alternative high school [TS]

  this is different from the the other [TS]

  building that was 10 that were it was [TS]

  some kind of an acronym were you trying [TS]

  to get your in there for a while and got [TS]

  tossed out yet walk across the [TS]

  Starbridge and you get over into the in [TS]

  the same school right [TS]

  wow you remember a lot but that was SWS [TS]

  repeat yourself a lot which helps know [TS]

  Frank cool had a quick pass [TS]

  google did have a cricket bat he also [TS]

  had a tennis racket with 21 powernation [TS]

  everybody knew what mr. Finn gift but no [TS]

  Frank google moved over to seller which [TS]

  was the ultimate the freestanding [TS]

  alternative to the names for these [TS]

  things across northern cross from [TS]

  northstar elementary sure and stellar [TS]

  was like you could you could you could [TS]

  just walk out of class at one of the [TS]

  halls at least that's what CNN sure [TS]

  there was a girl that wants taller than [TS]

  had platinum blonde hair and then dark [TS]

  thick dark eyebrows uh oh god do you [TS]

  remember that look I know that look [TS]

  platinum blonde here and she work i wore [TS]

  lipstick was probably pretty red it's [TS]

  pretty red lipstick and it was the first [TS]

  it was my first exposure to that that [TS]

  you don't you don't forget that and she [TS]

  was like a year younger than me so so it [TS]

  was so everything about it [TS]

  everything about it was just killing me [TS]

  to death I was killed to death and [TS]

  imprinted really hard so it's just like [TS]

  still platinum blonde hair dark dark [TS]

  bushy eyebrows look that so you know it [TS]

  takes mostly and Amazon kind of like if [TS]

  you have pretty ok good skin if you've [TS]

  got like kind of just like kind of [TS]

  utmost and blemish kind of lightish skin [TS]

  any woman can pull off that look and [TS]

  look great [TS]

  that that is it's a bold look but you [TS]

  can you can that is a fantastic and it [TS]

  makes it makes an impression it does it [TS]

  it will kill a person to death [TS]

  it'll kill him to death it's like [TS]

  getting a sword in between the little [TS]

  joints in the armor of any man that's [TS]

  right but right google became the [TS]

  principal of that and Frank google was [TS]

  this is stellar with its stellar with [TS]

  his to these tennis racket news and its [TS]

  cricket bat did not fit in its stellar [TS]

  at all and everyone its stellar knew it [TS]

  and Frank cool knew it it was a it was a [TS]

  bad turn of events and it's it's because [TS]

  stellar was still a school in the [TS]

  Anchorage School District and bring [TS]

  Cooper was still on track to be a [TS]

  principal he done is vice principal time [TS]

  so it's just sort of a little bit like [TS]

  being in the military were like if you [TS]

  get a promotion [TS]

  you're not going to ask questions about [TS]

  where you move to you take the promotion [TS]

  it's your job [TS]

  and it's a move up and you you wouldn't [TS]

  wanna complain about something he'd been [TS]

  waiting for the principal even win for [TS]

  the tap [TS]

  mhm and stellar had lost a principal [TS]

  lost their old old principal and I think [TS]

  they're all principal was one of those [TS]

  kind of ineffectual daughter guys I was [TS]

  like what a oh did you know you got an a [TS]

  okay well write it down here in the book [TS]

  and then all of a sudden Cooper was [TS]

  principal and he was walking around [TS]

  trying to get people to go to class and [TS]

  stuff and that was just not when what [TS]

  happened there but then eventually done [TS]

  shackelford all of course Don [TS]

  shackelford so I'm sorry i was i was [TS]

  conflating on shackleford and a [TS]

  Francophile palio gone shack on [TS]

  shackleford the one who was disappointed [TS]

  in you arms just he was disappointed he [TS]

  said he stood there by the locker with [TS]

  you is that right yes he did was very [TS]

  disappointed i'm so glad that we're [TS]

  recapitulating that episode from a long [TS]

  time with John every day someone is born [TS]

  he's never seen for instance i know that [TS]

  to be true i was describing the [TS]

  flintstones the other day to someone [TS]

  that could not comprehend the [TS]

  flintstones it was like was a millennium [TS]

  oh it was a millennium and I was like [TS]

  yeah do the free good epidemic [TS]

  yeah yeah it was a cartoon but it was [TS]

  mostly the honeymooners and make your [TS]

  move and in the illegal [TS]

  what are you talking about what I know [TS]

  these are words but what does that mean [TS]

  and we got no exposure to the [TS]

  honeymooners and your exposure to the [TS]

  honeymooners could come after your [TS]

  Flintstones first started the pieces [TS]

  together after they go I see what they [TS]

  were doing there [TS]

  honeymooners was such a success let's do [TS]

  it again yeah exceptexcept with cavemen [TS]

  yeah and birds [TS]

  it's a living breathing don't generally [TS]

  i don't when pterodactyls are born I [TS]

  don't think they think of themselves as [TS]

  record players [TS]

  well this is what's great about it is [TS]

  because the they're all the all the sort [TS]

  of wild wild west-style old steampunk [TS]

  basically where the flintstones was the [TS]

  first team you know what that's really [TS]

  true right because there is full of the [TS]

  unnecessary embellishments [TS]

  very very very basic understanding about [TS]

  you know how things work [TS]

  yeah and you're like oh there there's a [TS]

  bear's cave men but they have a stove [TS]

  and then you open the stove and add no [TS]

  it's not a stove there's just a dragon [TS]

  in their course my desk is made of brass [TS]

  and has a porthole not an animal me are [TS]

  wild wild west [TS]

  alright that was steampunky right so i [TS]

  was was that has to be the has to be [TS]

  like the foundational steampunk thing [TS]

  because he was he was devising all kinds [TS]

  of brass apparat I uh-huh that that did [TS]

  that did miracle things during the age [TS]

  of steam all the age of steam you know [TS]

  its just oh my goodness i think i think [TS]

  about that sweet i'm always reluctant to [TS]

  talk about death only because you know [TS]

  that something you know something [TS]

  they'll have the technology to come [TS]

  through these things and pick out all [TS]

  the parts you know interesting so we're [TS]

  talking about now you're talking about [TS]

  things I mean if you don't have access [TS]

  to Captain Marvel there will be a way [TS]

  eventually come to our shows and pick [TS]

  out just certain parts so i know that [TS]

  when we die [TS]

  somebody's gonna put together a real [TS]

  where the time talking about death [TS]

  it's all the shit you say when you're [TS]

  alive up being daedalus's like fuck you [TS]

  guys right now turn this off turn this [TS]

  off [TS]

  uh-huh but i do think about I do think [TS]

  about the ammo box full of fireworks [TS]

  anything about as it as a death agent [TS]

  I'm thinking about there will be times [TS]

  when I think oh shit this is it right [TS]

  and so I think it's an account but back [TS]

  in i thought would have told you this [TS]

  but back in college and my friends used [TS]

  to do kind of like a werewolf things [TS]

  like to scare each other and the idea [TS]

  that conceit was ever smart guys but the [TS]

  idea was that could see was I just not [TS]

  be on you and killed you if i can get [TS]

  back to sneak up watching on you [TS]

  anywhere you're dead and it's not game [TS]

  they played all the time and so my [TS]

  friend was in a very quiet library like [TS]

  730 it's almost closing time my friend [TS]

  comes on it grabs him on the shoulders [TS]

  and he starts and he says [TS]

  holy shit Richard I really don't want to [TS]

  die translating the german word for [TS]

  absurd and I thought that this morning [TS]

  good game [TS]

  I i went to bed late i watched all i [TS]

  watch all of the other Tony's last night [TS]

  and so and i stayed up late watching [TS]

  musicals after that so I want to be [TS]

  known as your avatar has changed its now [TS]

  Hamilton ehrenberg but you're close [TS]

  yeah there was a picture picture from [TS]

  Hamels oh I see [TS]

  thanks Luke oh it's aaron burr sir he [TS]

  punched the burp sir [TS]

  so anyway I i was a bit late i got [TS]

  apparently and I was like I gotta get to [TS]

  the office stones gonna be doing the [TS]

  show and so I'm a little underdressed [TS]

  and so I'm my run-in I'm making coffee [TS]

  i'm doing the coffee thing running [TS]

  around and watching and watching the wwc [TS]

  presentation I got a lot of balls in the [TS]

  air and I start to fall down like you [TS]

  know like my old people just like fall [TS]

  down sometimes it over to do you just [TS]

  somebody just one pins your needs [TS]

  oh I realized hey you know you think to [TS]

  yourself you talk to yourself and your [TS]

  head a little bit you go hey right leg [TS]

  is supposed to be moving [TS]

  I feel like I just told you like a [TS]

  quarter of a second ago to move and I [TS]

  almost fall down because I'm wearing [TS]

  Crocs and The Little Rock has gotten [TS]

  wedged under a little table [TS]

  oh why do old crocks I don't understand [TS]

  this at all we gone off into a very [TS]

  weird place you know what two words I [TS]

  thought oh shit oh shit and first [TS]

  paragraph yeah 0 [TS]

  yeah but they're the second hydraulic [TS]

  just rocks got stuck under a little [TS]

  table you know you're not supposed to [TS]

  wear Crocs on it well you're not going [TS]

  to wear them anywhere now on an [TS]

  escalator can wear mine escalator the [TS]

  where modern escalator that's the first [TS]

  line of your obituary yeah like a [TS]

  professional croc still like nice Crocs [TS]

  I don't believe this [TS]

  mhm crocs yeah Oh [TS]

  so what do you also we're looking ahead [TS]

  little short pants with suspenders like [TS]

  like a later hands and ricotta knows and [TS]

  what we'd like to like a later hose and [TS]

  accept that might be worn by someone in [TS]

  Spanky and argue [TS]

  ah let me think that would technically i [TS]

  think because play and I don't [TS]

  technically I don't cosplay anything [TS]

  cool i think if you were to see me on [TS]

  the street and scope out what I was [TS]

  cause playing it would be something [TS]

  pretty funny that's not like a marvel [TS]

  comic do you cosplay what that I think [TS]

  about all the time [TS]

  yeah what is it what's your number-one [TS]

  cause but well a lot of stuff that [TS]

  listen cause playing is who I actually [TS]

  a.m. [TS]

  yeah I like cosplaying like middle-aged [TS]

  dad I'm so middle-aged dad looking you [TS]

  could cause play Merlin Mann pretty [TS]

  easily [TS]

  yeah I'm tried to stop people have [TS]

  noticed and remarked in public if I wear [TS]

  clothes with holes in them [TS]

  this is something John Syracuse has seen [TS]

  from from many many feet away so yeah [TS]

  you're picking your pants holes and I [TS]

  was like just a tiny little hole it's in [TS]

  the edge of my iphone no way did you see [TS]

  that from the audience oh yeah I've ever [TS]

  you are talking about it so I tried to [TS]

  stop wearing clothes with obvious holes [TS]

  in them right well but the thing is that [TS]

  you know the the front pocket hole [TS]

  I think there's a pair of jeans there's [TS]

  a big difference between a crotch hole [TS]

  and Annie hole but there's a big big [TS]

  leap from me whole to front pocket whole [TS]

  front pocket hole should should be worn [TS]

  with enormous pride I think the pockets [TS]

  the pockets front and back but in these [TS]

  days for me increasingly the front [TS]

  pockets absolutely tell a story about [TS]

  who i am and this has been true for [TS]

  several years [TS]

  I mean like I the things that I have [TS]

  kept in the watch pocket right watch [TS]

  pocket my Levi's have changed a lot over [TS]

  the years [TS]

  so what were then what are they um [TS]

  coalition it's been entirely constant [TS]

  for me it's always guitar always guitar [TS]

  picks yeah it was uh let's see [TS]

  so in the early eighties to militarily [TS]

  is really it was armed quarters for [TS]

  video games so like you you have [TS]

  quarters in your pocket pocket but then [TS]

  you want like four quarters in there for [TS]

  easy access it was brilliant is just [TS]

  perfect for that right corner old jim [TS]

  dunlop one [TS]

  millimeter black keep couple of those in [TS]

  there Jim Dunlop oh sure your little [TS]

  your little pics know they're the the [TS]

  standard jim dunlop nylon pic [TS]

  oh not a jazz 30 know that I'm not a [TS]

  little get another I get it I you know [TS]

  there's a gentleman's pick for awhile i [TS]

  use this pussy great ones but fuck that [TS]

  no you want a black one the black one [TS]

  and I and then what else over time I'll [TS]

  care for them to various kinds of drugs [TS]

  one-time caffeine pills at another time [TS]

  you know [TS]

  ephedrine yeah at another time at all [TS]

  and that's the day I often put my [TS]

  imodium in there are Modi excuse me in [TS]

  there so are you so that's a pill [TS]

  pockets for you [TS]

  it sure can be absolutely let's say I'm [TS]

  going out and doing engagement [TS]

  performance i wanna have my sleeping [TS]

  pill early enough i know when to take my [TS]

  sleeping pills so i'll take that look at [TS]

  the shell doing onstage to get on watch [TS]

  pocket [TS]

  you're not afraid of taking your [TS]

  sleeping pill and then some other thing [TS]

  into rough though always yeah if you got [TS]

  to get it back on the horse and you're [TS]

  like oh of course I worry I worry about [TS]

  everything you've always kept pics in [TS]

  years you never had quarters or tokens [TS]

  in there [TS]

  oh he went to a chunky cheesy you are [TS]

  you wouldn't have a token in there [TS]

  eighty-five percent of the time that I [TS]

  was at a video game parlor I was there [TS]

  to watch other people play sure it's too [TS]

  costly [TS]

  me too i mean like the thing is I you [TS]

  know I don't remember having enough [TS]

  allowance at that time but i rarely had [TS]

  more than five to nine dollars an access [TS]

  at a given time and I often had none [TS]

  I mean this is back at a time like you [TS]

  know you could go to like go to like a [TS]

  subway ish thing and you could get [TS]

  something for like under five dollars is [TS]

  that all you could get something 402 [TS]

  feel like I remember there being a [TS]

  dollar product at subway and a [TS]

  refillable cup that I think was 25 or 50 [TS]

  Cent's to refill and appointed I every [TS]

  is it you could get a little mini [TS]

  reese's peanut butter cup for five cents [TS]

  haha speak data and i guess i remember i [TS]

  said just a moment just a moment [TS]

  the coca-cola was five cents for almost [TS]

  a hundred years i could not play video [TS]

  games well enough to get my money's [TS]

  worth I'd never in my whole life that I [TS]

  play five dollars with the video games [TS]

  if I played two dollars with a great [TS]

  video games i felt like i had that was [TS]

  incredibly decadent it was and i have to [TS]

  tell you I mean it's one of the things [TS]

  we're like I was a horrible there's a [TS]

  few years was a very bad i was mean to [TS]

  my mom I wasn't very nice and I compared [TS]

  to some kids I wasn't awful i wasn't [TS]

  dangerous but I wasn't very nice butt [TS]

  she would just I could tell that it [TS]

  broke her heart [TS]

  like legitimately made her feel bad that [TS]

  we didn't have a lot of money and it [TS]

  really made her legitimately sad when I [TS]

  spent the money i did have on video [TS]

  games [TS]

  yeah she worked well not even can see at [TS]

  least can't even go that's a bad habit [TS]

  but video games you're literally like to [TS]

  somebody born in the thirties the idea [TS]

  of taking the tiny bit of money you have [TS]

  and going and putting it into a machine [TS]

  for like you know 90 seconds of pleasure [TS]

  it feels lucky again you don't need to [TS]

  be Amish to look at that and go gross [TS]

  yeah like you don't get that money back [TS]

  somebody had to work to earn that and [TS]

  you just put into a machine so you could [TS]

  get killed by an alien but the thing is [TS]

  if you were good at defender and you can [TS]

  play defender for an hour i would not [TS]

  one of the games Stargate in particular [TS]

  the which is like defender to I would [TS]

  watch I would just stay there i was on a [TS]

  saturday i would just watch people who [TS]

  are good at starting place target [TS]

  because it was magic too well tempest [TS]

  people who are good at tempest man that [TS]

  is an art form I was pretty good at [TS]

  Temple is a different kind of thing [TS]

  that's you everyone really fast and [TS]

  strategic to do that bus to know when [TS]

  you're going to employ the smart smart [TS]

  bomb or a smart bomb yeah that destroys [TS]

  everything on the screen [TS]

  you gotta wait we gotta wait for it yeah [TS]

  but then those perfect moments when [TS]

  you're like to hear your shooting aliens [TS]

  all around and then the screen becomes [TS]

  so clogged with enemies need to me [TS]

  that's the mutants that there's no way [TS]

  you're going to survive and then boom [TS]

  smart bomb and everybody has destroyed [TS]

  it's just like all I know this trick [TS]

  with the Stargate where you would know [TS]

  when to strategically use the Stargate [TS]

  and there is of course I cannot be [TS]

  straight but there's a trick with the [TS]

  Stargate where if you carried a certain [TS]

  number of the people in the Stargate you [TS]

  got like an extra dude or something [TS]

  that's the injury right there haha man [TS]

  but yeah anyway so don't know I never [TS]

  carried quarters are tokens in my in my [TS]

  coin pocket i always carry or my watch [TS]

  pocket was very severe in there so later [TS]

  on that maybe didn't matter so one of [TS]

  the great things about you about your [TS]

  jeans if I may [TS]

  yes was when you started routinely [TS]

  carrying a space pen Ali what watching [TS]

  this basement you're that create a space [TS]

  pen exact shape of a space pen faded [TS]

  into your gene Conley ambiguously the [TS]

  outline of a space pen [TS]

  yeah you can even see that the tapering [TS]

  ends of the space pen [TS]

  yeah it was just like wow that is a [TS]

  statement as it's it's it's it's what [TS]

  makes the whole gene wear pattern so [TS]

  interesting because and this is as it's [TS]

  also wear shoes like ever look at your [TS]

  shoes and look for most people who I [TS]

  guess our aren't going to the [TS]

  chiropractor [TS]

  I wish my shoes look at your shoes you [TS]

  flip them over you grab five pairs of [TS]

  your shoes of different ages and flip [TS]

  them over and you're going to notice [TS]

  very similar wear patterns but but [TS]

  that's the same wear wear patterns on [TS]

  each right or left foot across all the [TS]

  shoes pretty much they issue is very [TS]

  rarely wear evenly because because you [TS]

  walk weird or you're shaped weird in the [TS]

  and that's what the pocket thing becomes [TS]

  so crazy if you put a space pen in your [TS]

  pocket and you do it again he do it you [TS]

  like it won't be long before that pen [TS]

  always settles into exactly especially [TS]

  receded a lot it's going to be settled [TS]

  into exactly this one spot it's it's [TS]

  like making the Grand Canyon i do you [TS]

  ever I maybe outing myself here but do [TS]

  you ever take your shoes and just put [TS]

  them up on the table and just look at [TS]

  him [TS]

  sure I'll so I'm a shoe tree man I when [TS]

  I take my shoes off [TS]

  I put shoe trees in them i have a cedar [TS]

  shoe trees and I i'm not going to have [TS]

  nice shoes but i like to rotate them [TS]

  that's why weird splurges is I own [TS]

  enough shoe trees for my primary shoes [TS]

  and I try to rotate them i have about 14 [TS]

  vintage pairs of shoot Ruiz but i don't [TS]

  use them at all only ones are nicer you [TS]

  can stand your old ones to bring out the [TS]

  cedar smell never occurred to me it's a [TS]

  life hack [TS]

  yeah you can do that but I I occasional [TS]

  go on the amazon and constantly more [TS]

  than i would like to buy two or three [TS]

  new pairs of shoes throughout the old [TS]

  ones you know [TS]

  all throughout the old ones here again [TS]

  I've got some from the forties courts [TS]

  could you you can't even imagine not [TS]

  keeping this [TS]

  no I'm barely barely can consider [TS]

  sanding them act like polishing your [TS]

  silver candlesticks from the from the [TS]

  18th century and would do that you want [TS]

  to keep the patina keep up if you die [TS]

  before i do God forbid I i will not be [TS]

  involved in dealing with your house [TS]

  no I worry about that all the time how [TS]

  you pick somebody hit you have AF [TS]

  somebody chosen I mean there's a good [TS]

  chance you never know there's a good [TS]

  chance your mom's gonna outlive and [TS]

  she's gonna be stuck with that whole [TS]

  affair know my mama just throw it all in [TS]

  a dumpster except for like I don't even [TS]

  know what she would keep but I i had an [TS]

  interesting game to like what would she [TS]

  keep energy go out and get that whatever [TS]

  button dollar whatever or or how Ashby [TS]

  or whatever your kids doll's name is you [TS]

  grab the dog you get out of there and [TS]

  just like to join up [TS]

  we'll see i'm still I'm still navigating [TS]

  my father's estate and by estate I mean [TS]

  let's boxes and boxes of paper [TS]

  yeah 4040 legal boxes full of like old [TS]

  adjudications and I was just doing it [TS]

  the other day going through this stuff [TS]

  reading all these reading all these [TS]

  papers from the mid seventies and at you [TS]

  know and and really digesting how sort [TS]

  of constantly on the edge of insolvency [TS]

  he was even when he was making a lot of [TS]

  money was always getting into some kind [TS]

  of bad deal some sort of arrangement [TS]

  where was like oh here's a here's [TS]

  another notarized letter and and then I [TS]

  go through these boxes and you know I [TS]

  don't throw it away like a phone bills [TS]

  and stuff because of the story it tells [TS]

  well it only tells that story to me [TS]

  there's not another living person that [TS]

  cares and i have read the story like i [TS]

  read the book so i could just throw them [TS]

  away i could throw recycle them i could [TS]

  I can make a bonfire [TS]

  why am i saving this story I don't know [TS]

  yep but here it is and so my own [TS]

  material i have bequeathed p [TS]

  i bequeath the music and buy music I [TS]

  mean the recorded music and also all the [TS]

  all the recorded music that has never [TS]

  been released oh it's called the [TS]

  unreleased material this is the the [TS]

  archives the archives I've required i [TS]

  bequeath it to my daughter via her [TS]

  mother and her mother has always been a [TS]

  fan of my music and so I assume that she [TS]

  would care for it in a way or like I [TS]

  don't know how I don't know what you [TS]

  would do I don't know if you would take [TS]

  an unreleased song and hand it to Ben [TS]

  Gibbard and say finish this whether you [TS]

  give some of the many years with ya [TS]

  whether whether these guys would be like [TS]

  oh wow what an honor to be given one of [TS]

  these tracks to finish and so that i can [TS]

  play it whatever at his funeral or [TS]

  something or what a burden it is [TS]

  together in this garbage and put it well [TS]

  this is where if you documented that [TS]

  would be really awesome like you know [TS]

  what I mean like you always talking [TS]

  about you know you're close with your [TS]

  ebay store i don't know whatever [TS]

  happened with that but you're gonna put [TS]

  your clothes on ebay I've always said [TS]

  include a little card you type it up on [TS]

  a nice typewriter and tell them tell a [TS]

  little story with that tell the story [TS]

  well the the thing that inhibited me [TS]

  from doing the ebay stores there was [TS]

  some there was some one of those [TS]

  christian pastors that uses [TS]

  rock-and-roll to convince people of [TS]

  Jesus yeah am who did you read about [TS]

  this guy who put his close-up on on his [TS]

  clothes up for sale but they were just [TS]

  like norm core dad clothes for free [TS]

  super fans to buy uh-uh for some of his [TS]

  lordly followers i guess i mean use he [TS]

  was trying to capitalize what I want to [TS]

  touch the hem of the garment maybe but [TS]

  he got a lot of flack for the idea that [TS]

  he was that he was selling is close to [TS]

  his parishioners and all of a sudden I [TS]

  was like I don't want to it's not that I [TS]

  don't want to sell them and it's not [TS]

  that people don't want to buy them but i [TS]

  just don't want that to go up on [TS]

  pitchfork what I'm saying I do i do 0.0 [TS]

  ya like it like all something John [TS]

  Roderick 0.0 as a human 0.04 those [TS]

  Oxford cloth shirts I don't want I don't [TS]

  want to end up on like AV club and they [TS]

  wouldn't even write an article in the AV [TS]

  club but it would be in the comments [TS]

  section [TS]

  yeah so I don't know it's hard to maybe [TS]

  maybe etsy is the place I think it's the [TS]

  typed up card that will save me because [TS]

  the type of card is going to be [TS]

  like no no I wasn't talking like those [TS]

  are MacGuffin what people want is the is [TS]

  the see mostly this could be a [TS]

  multimedia experience it could be [TS]

  something we do like a museum tour and [TS]

  there's a there's definitely like a [TS]

  souvenir book you can get that's got the [TS]

  entire catalog in it isn't that is not a [TS]

  thing like if you go to the go to [TS]

  lloyd's of london or wherever they do [TS]

  the options you guys gotta log it by the [TS]

  catalog and that's part of the whole [TS]

  thing I got a letter today from the [TS]

  government said they were stuck like [TS]

  it's that I got a letter I saw so still [TS]

  that is still in the history of check T [TS]

  and Public Enemy what I i still turn [TS]

  that line over in my head is so [TS]

  ponderous I got a letter from the [TS]

  government the other yeah I didn't read [TS]

  it it said they were suckers [TS]

  yeah they wanted me for their army or [TS]

  whatever dick picture Lee given a damn i [TS]

  said never power and then tricky to that [TS]

  little stands and made a whole song out [TS]

  of it huh [TS]

  remember that yes several years later he [TS]

  did that was at maxim quay was that [TS]

  record i like that tricky record [TS]

  yeah but but there wasn't any drum drum [TS]

  and bass our trip optometry path to pop [TS]

  record trippin trippin dumb bitch [TS]

  trippin tricky musician trip hop hop hop [TS]

  I like the trip hop i went to it i went [TS]

  to a party one time where there was a [TS]

  drummer and a bass player and they were [TS]

  playing drum and bass which is music [TS]

  that is normally made on computers yeah [TS]

  and they were so good at it that it [TS]

  really was like this is something this [TS]

  is something other to play that music [TS]

  live and enjoy that I think I really [TS]

  enjoy that it was very enjoyable I'd i [TS]

  did not participate in any other aspect [TS]

  of the party once i saw this happening [TS]

  I just stood next to them with my not so [TS]

  nice to find a party it's so nice to [TS]

  find that [TS]

  yeah we're like really latch onto that's [TS]

  not the people there I'm not avoiding [TS]

  the party i am really captivated by this [TS]

  musical performance mhm yeah but a bird [TS]

  a liner feel letter e literature [TS]

  oh I got a letter today right but it was [TS]

  an email [TS]

  huh and I don't know what it was maybe I [TS]

  was having a dream and at the very end [TS]

  of the dream chemistry fellow figured [TS]

  into the dream somehow and I was like [TS]

  ken stringfellow why why why why is he [TS]

  appearing like a like a samara out of [TS]

  the dark and then i woke up i checked my [TS]

  phone [TS]

  there's an email from chemistry thought [TS]

  I was like oh this is one of those [TS]

  things [TS]

  this is one of those ken stringfellow [TS]

  appears in your dream and then you wake [TS]

  up and eat you get an email from him [TS]

  you haven't got an email from this guy [TS]

  in three years [TS]

  this is like so one of these spooky [TS]

  moments yeah and then I open it and it [TS]

  because you can see in the preview of [TS]

  the email it said John I've been meaning [TS]

  to write you I was like what is ken got [TS]

  to say you know maybe ken is producing [TS]

  an album in in Austria and he wants me [TS]

  to fly in and offer my signature [TS]

  tampering play whenever I open it and [TS]

  it's a spam from ken saying a woman is [TS]

  making a film called Ken in which i play [TS]

  the title character the titular [TS]

  character [TS]

  ken which is based on a fictionalized [TS]

  version of my actual life huh [TS]

  what would you donate what an odd way to [TS]

  phrase whatever is happening [TS]

  yeah because it sounds like somebody [TS]

  that i probably knew on livejournal [TS]

  contacted him and said can you know mean [TS]

  the woman who thinks that the were [TS]

  married a I want to make a movie about [TS]

  you but it's not about you need to be in [TS]

  it but it's not you but it to you and [TS]

  I'm not married to you i'm married to [TS]

  dig in you contact at all of your [TS]

  rockstar friends and let them know that [TS]

  I'm doing that that's right and it's [TS]

  exactly that the project so much if you [TS]

  could just tell everybody that we're [TS]

  really doing this together [TS]

  and Ken is one of those rockstars who [TS]

  although you know although his overall [TS]

  like penetration of the culture remains [TS]

  low within a small group of people he is [TS]

  a very big deal [TS]

  he's how I well you know telling you [TS]

  this story you know these stories and [TS]

  let you know that's right i was at a [TS]

  show for that amazing solo record your [TS]

  record that record was his first solo [TS]

  record i have to remember because I was [TS]

  the band your hand on end for the live [TS]

  stuff right now that's a really it [TS]

  wasn't you no uniforms no wasn't record [TS]

  up it was a song on their cans first [TS]

  solo record what the hell is a cop [TS]

  because it was it was a really good [TS]

  really good out how they did that one [TS]

  then huh [TS]

  when you say they do you mean either ken [TS]

  playing all the instruments on the [TS]

  record which is what happened or always [TS]

  touched touched [TS]

  that's it it's not going wasn't one day [TS]

  or something like that [TS]

  notice on the one that's on that [TS]

  probably really pretty song on there [TS]

  no I'm not sure where continue serving [TS]

  you I met you and you were his first one [TS]

  you open for him [TS]

  yep and then we were I was lead guitar [TS]

  player and then and then the long [TS]

  winters acted as his band that's great [TS]

  and then I met scott miller that night [TS]

  and it was the best night ever [TS]

  it was a very fun night I met scott [TS]

  miller i met scott miller says you stand [TS]

  there was like scott miller and and i [TS]

  just--can Stringfellow from the posies [TS]

  it which is fucking crazy right and then [TS]

  that John Roderick and we're going to go [TS]

  with the motorcycle home in the big hair [TS]

  that Scott Miller that's got Miller [TS]

  that's the guy from game theory that's [TS]

  the guy from game theory [TS]

  he's here because he likes the music and [TS]

  now after his you know from my head [TS]

  death a few years ago ugh i think ken is [TS]

  leading a big project to marry reunion [TS]

  well the the I think the next members of [TS]

  game theory are back to I've totally off [TS]

  topic but they're read they're basically [TS]

  finishing the last game theory album [TS]

  with a whole bunch of superstars which [TS]

  is very exciting for people OC so that's [TS]

  what i'm saying when I die are my [TS]

  superstar friends gonna read are they [TS]

  going to finish my unfinished 40 now we [TS]

  should have that girl from livejournal [TS]

  contact ken maybe he can we can [TS]

  spearhead the effort [TS]

  let's close the parentheses on John [TS]

  right here's the letter and the picture [TS]

  that girl is making a movie didn't like [TS]

  girls [TS]

  oh i thought was that it was a girl but [TS]

  it is a girl here we go after at this [TS]

  early stage of the campaign for Ken the [TS]

  move getting the word out is the most [TS]

  important thing so thank you all for [TS]

  subscribing to these emails which I did [TS]

  not say she doesn't i just want to say [TS]

  before I make fun can I i love chemistry [TS]

  oh yeah I do too he's a he's a vampiric [TS]

  man is a wonderful guy if you want all [TS]

  the life for such as now he's a monster [TS]

  but is a very very talented posture as [TS]

  many of you will remember [TS]

  Oh someone's calling me on the phone do [TS]

  not do that decline decline is it in [TS]

  there is a number you recognise know [TS]

  that there's no good that's not good i [TS]

  would have said their name but no it's [TS]

  just a totally random 206 number I'll [TS]

  see that's how they get you now not into [TS]

  it you know that's the new thing now you [TS]

  get you started your phone numbers now [TS]

  used to time was time was you become [TS]

  more time was that Morgan Freeman voice [TS]

  you would get it from out of area or [TS]

  blocked now a you get to a 6b it might [TS]

  even be from your exchange because they [TS]

  can spoof a number that looks close [TS]

  enough to your number like oh my god my [TS]

  kids in a while [TS]

  oh no oh no this is a thing now and for [TS]

  people like me who hate getting phone [TS]

  calls so someone's making a movie it's [TS]

  called Ken the movement of you will [TS]

  remember Ken the movie is what it's [TS]

  called believe you're calling in there [TS]

  oh it's a dash i like the idea can the [TS]

  movie but all cow and dash the movie all [TS]

  caps ok alright as many of you will [TS]

  remember i wrote a few months ago I do [TS]

  not remember to explain the movie for [TS]

  those that don't that's me here's a [TS]

  quick recap the director is an old [TS]

  friend of mine i'm mara name's Claudia [TS]

  and she's from and her last name and [TS]

  first name indicate that she is from [TS]

  overseas i'm guessing uncle france [TS]

  france belgium I think should i think [TS]

  it's Austria based on the based on the [TS]

  last name you know that she has a unique [TS]

  working method interweaving fiction and [TS]

  reality seamlessly let me let me expand [TS]

  upon that she makes beautiful films that [TS]

  blend elements from real life with [TS]

  fictional ones [TS]

  can but dash the movie will follow this [TS]

  format parts of the real me when I'm [TS]

  drunk when I'm fucked up that's the real [TS]

  me taken from both my music and family [TS]

  life without my family's consent will be [TS]

  the base plates are realizing i have a [TS]

  little bit yeah [TS]

  will be the basis for a fictional [TS]

  character named can I have a good name [TS]

  that's a good name for the character of [TS]

  ken stringfellow fictionalized or not [TS]

  maybe mmmm now let's think about this [TS]

  ken Ken kan seems almost like a [TS]

  science-fiction name if you pull it away [TS]

  from Kenneth and turn it just into now [TS]

  it does you know like an ren can ran [TS]

  been Jack and Ben can scan sounds like a [TS]

  i like how and OC could be back at nine [TS]

  thousand exactly i never thought about [TS]

  that until i see this name can go over [TS]

  and over and all caps are you flashing [TS]

  back to having a shaman moment where [TS]

  suddenly everything makes sense [TS]

  ok here you go kid was dead a whole day [TS]

  with undergrad all he has been named can [TS]

  and I will play that character in the [TS]

  story is an intimate journey of [TS]

  self-discovery [TS]

  oh my god and it's going to be set [TS]

  mostly in LA where ken has never lived [TS]

  with shooting due to begin later this [TS]

  year [TS]

  okay with your support the enthusiastic [TS]

  can the movie team are cooking to make [TS]

  it work [TS]

  all right i want you going John you did [TS]

  it you fulfilled your role as friend of [TS]

  Ken the move command [TS]

  that's right for Ken dash the man you [TS]

  have done that from Kennedy email [TS]

  yep i said that you put on your you put [TS]

  on your phony award-winning podcast and [TS]

  now people can know to go out and [TS]

  support captain morgan and the movie and [TS]

  then the other four emails got this [TS]

  morning John Freeman has some new promo [TS]

  materials available [TS]

  john freeman gonna delete that Michaels [TS]

  filson is sending me the fathers day [TS]

  gift guide gonna delete that don't seem [TS]

  like us [TS]

  moscot says escape the city with David [TS]

  Hart I don't want to do that [TS]

  delete and then the New Yorker has a [TS]

  special delivery for me [TS]

  i'm going to delete that oh and then [TS]

  there's Boober wants to know how my ride [TS]

  from the airport one that's nice [TS]

  yes I'm going to leave that I got an [TS]

  email here and from a woman who loves [TS]

  the back to work podcast and would be [TS]

  honored to be a guest and she says that [TS]

  she would be a great fit she's a big fan [TS]

  of the show though she wants to be she's [TS]

  asking to be a gasps oh yeah she's [TS]

  asking a guest on the show that has [TS]

  never had a guest [TS]

  there's been a substitute host but [TS]

  there's never been a guest in need like [TS]

  7,000 episodes the five years five and a [TS]

  half years of doing that show we have [TS]

  never had a guest i would love to be a [TS]

  guest and talk about a subject my name [TS]

  is marie dupe are eek i'm an avid [TS]

  listener of your podcast and would be [TS]

  honored to be interviewed as a guest on [TS]

  your show [TS]

  wow how nice what I believe we would be [TS]

  a great fit [TS]

  I help people enjoy successful and [TS]

  productive businesses careers and home [TS]

  life sounds like a no-brainer [TS]

  oh sure that it's right in your wheel oh [TS]

  yeah and she send a link for her bio [TS]

  photo and a link to her schedule so you [TS]

  know what Fred Rogers says look for the [TS]

  helpers look for the helpers whenever [TS]

  you're feeling scared look for the [TS]

  helpers [TS]

  that's right look for the helpers did [TS]

  you know that if you add that the 33 the [TS]

  33rd degree of Mason's yeah in the [TS]

  description of the 33rd degree of Mason [TS]

  Mason re masonic notice it says [TS]

  specifically if you ask to be elevated [TS]

  to the 33rd level you must be refused i [TS]

  think that makes a hundred percent sense [TS]

  i think they should even be an [TS]

  understanding that if you ask they might [TS]

  just throw your ass out [TS]

  well this is the this is the amazing [TS]

  question to spend as much time as it [TS]

  would take to become a thirty-second [TS]

  degree Mason we're talking about that's [TS]

  that's 10 20 years that's a long time I [TS]

  did a long time my grandpa was super [TS]

  high up and he did it for a long time [TS]

  yeah i think there are very few people [TS]

  that make it to the 33rd degree to get [TS]

  all the way to 32 and then make the make [TS]

  the fucking classic error of asking for [TS]

  it like I've been a 33rd degree Mason [TS]

  for six years now when am I gonna get to [TS]

  33 and then they're like it's right here [TS]

  buddy and said like a lieutenant-colonel [TS]

  asking somebody if it's okay to dismiss [TS]

  the troops you just you just undermine [TS]

  your entire career by doing that you're [TS]

  never gonna get it back at that point [TS]

  when she's not bringing com [TS]

  the chaos or streamlining time and tasks [TS]

  you can find her scheming video [TS]

  punchlines with her sweet boys you can [TS]

  connect with her and download my free [TS]

  resource she's gonna give me called five [TS]

  simple branding acts for your small [TS]

  business [TS]

  oh my god or if you should break the [TS]

  moratorium on interviews and have ever [TS]

  on the bottom talked about it but just [TS]

  to close this parenthesis she's a [TS]

  Productivity plus organization [TS]

  consultants to chapter president of the [TS]

  national association of professional [TS]

  organizers professional organizers [TS]

  friendship here's the first question [TS]

  doesn't bring you joy [TS]

  oh sure right let's set them free [TS]

  condominium lady sounded calm ya gone [TS]

  and of course i'm dan and I get many [TS]

  this happened in the last really year or [TS]

  so where we get at least five sometimes [TS]

  ten a week of these people who are first [TS]

  always are in ardent fans of the don't [TS]

  huge fans [TS]

  big fan yeah and the large part is i [TS]

  have actually gotten email from the [TS]

  assistance the you know personal [TS]

  assistant of people that I know who [TS]

  should know better [TS]

  like people i have i been on their [TS]

  podcast and they're sending out this [TS]

  shit all the time so again i was thinkin [TS]

  we have two ideas [TS]

  idea number one was I tell people they [TS]

  can be on but they have to pay palace [TS]

  $10,000 oh yes [TS]

  idea number two is invite everybody [TS]

  who's ever offered to do this under the [TS]

  same and also do and don't let them hear [TS]

  each other [TS]

  Oh hold back just mean the Tower of [TS]

  Babel basically you get this [TS]

  that's a really good question didn't get [TS]

  better every and every once in a while [TS]

  one of you says like uh huh uh huh [TS]

  interesting well nobody can you can you [TS]

  elaborate [TS]

  oh is that something that you could [TS]

  growth hack well remember Robert rubble [TS]

  rubble reporter Barbara Barr [TS]

  I really like that i really like that i [TS]

  love the idea that the problem is we [TS]

  have to have some hack version of skype [TS]

  where they couldn't see that they were [TS]

  literally 35 other people on the call [TS]

  yeah yeah that'd be nice i was on a [TS]

  podcast one time that was just people [TS]

  talking shit about united airlines uh [TS]

  myself is cheon my sister jaan had you [TS]

  on his show about customer service [TS]

  yeah where you talked about your United [TS]

  experience i really like that that whole [TS]

  idea is just like yeah this is just a [TS]

  this is just the whole show is just [TS]

  going to be about people knowledgeable [TS]

  people some of whom used to work for [TS]

  United Airlines some of whom are in the [TS]

  travel industry all here like you know [TS]

  what's bad about united airlines let me [TS]

  tell you a story about the the last time [TS]

  united airlines screwed the pooch i [TS]

  usually don't see to me that's almost [TS]

  like that's like a fetish porn like [TS]

  we're normally we go [TS]

  hmm that's too clever by half there's no [TS]

  way that you could do more than five [TS]

  episodes that before became a shitshow i [TS]

  can tell you buddy [TS]

  I think it's bad enough you could have a [TS]

  podcast about how much united sucks and [TS]

  you can get a year out of that [TS]

  oh absolutely no I'm not I'm actually [TS]

  i'm not i'm not exaggerating i honestly [TS]

  think you could have a podcast called [TS]

  united sucks and you will be able to get [TS]

  some really some some pretty big [TS]

  shooters on that show [TS]

  united sucks i mean i had had loves [TS]

  United everybody i know united states [TS]

  like people who support Trump was like [TS]

  yeah he's a monster but they got to [TS]

  support the dude is people who like [TS]

  eight points on there i got to use them [TS]

  is that really first or something where [TS]

  there there that's the that's the one [TS]

  that their company uses an early flight [TS]

  if you live in Chicago like there's [TS]

  certain cases where these horrible [TS]

  airlines where you are stuck with them [TS]

  yeah because of where you live or where [TS]

  you where you travel to and you don't [TS]

  you don't get an option you don't get to [TS]

  like you know [TS]

  virgin america your way into bangor [TS]

  maine right [TS]

  no no you doing a virgin in bangor that [TS]

  you're not going to get into bangor on [TS]

  virgin is 90 hearty snack pack for you [TS]

  buddy [TS]

  oh the other day I was a you know [TS]

  because now I because of jonathan [TS]

  coulton john hoffman who i have i've [TS]

  joined the Delta family of [TS]

  Oh of airline was this really great [TS]

  first class [TS]

  yeah i got an upgrade to first class and [TS]

  and the the flight attendant comes by [TS]

  and she says do you want the chicken [TS]

  cheat was a BBQ chicken sandwich and [TS]

  then she leans forward and she goes it's [TS]

  very small or do you want the pasta [TS]

  salad with shrimp or something that just [TS]

  sounded like you but when she said it's [TS]

  very small [TS]

  she's telling you she's giving you the [TS]

  inside story but yeah I was like I don't [TS]

  want very small so i was like give me [TS]

  the pasta salad the guy next to me said [TS]

  give me the little sandwich [TS]

  well it shows up it's not very small [TS]

  it's a it's a it's a few sliders and she [TS]

  was trying to say that this sandwiches [TS]

  were small [TS]

  she was like it's a chicken sandwich [TS]

  it's very small meaning the sandwich was [TS]

  small but there were several sandwich [TS]

  I'll see I would have read that as she's [TS]

  trying to talk about something that she [TS]

  knows it's not good [TS]

  yeah me too but but then it several [TS]

  sandwiches the meal was not small [TS]

  understand I know I absolutely [TS]

  understand what you're saying but then [TS]

  why would she say that the same which [TS]

  was small the meal was not small and she [TS]

  was saying it because she doesn't [TS]

  understand what words do haha [TS]

  and it's not important to this and which [TS]

  is my little character whisper it to you [TS]

  with some level of confidence is a [TS]

  little bit like somebody put their dick [TS]

  in the mashed potatoes exactly like [TS]

  don't order the clam chowder and a [TS]

  no-doubter pretty um clean food only [TS]

  please [TS]

  that's just the big tell the captain bob [TS]

  but but yeah this was a crazy thing [TS]

  where it's like who has ever gotten [TS]

  several sliders which are in some ways [TS]

  the perfect food [TS]

  yep and said excuse me flight attendant [TS]

  these sandwiches are very small like no [TS]

  one [TS]

  one [TS]

  no one has ever done that but that this [TS]

  is that this is the thing that she [TS]

  thought to mention so i said before she [TS]

  had delivered mine I was like excuse me [TS]

  I think I would like to change my order [TS]

  to the sliders she was like no problem [TS]

  she's probably the sliders i ate them [TS]

  happily they were quite delicious [TS]

  I ate them they part of what made them [TS]

  delicious was the knowledge that back in [TS]

  coach [TS]

  nobody was getting these right back in [TS]

  coach they were all just that they get [TS]

  to suck on the napkins that people used [TS]

  in first class [TS]

  yeah they just they get they get some [TS]

  pretzel mix and that's it the end so I [TS]

  was just like these sliders are so good [TS]

  and then I got to the end of the meal [TS]

  and I was like I want more of those time [TS]

  was in first class that was not a [TS]

  problem [TS]

  it used to be more like a cruise in [TS]

  first class where you could say actually [TS]

  I'd like everything [TS]

  yeah okay get hit me baby hit me to let [TS]

  me tell me this at the what's called [TS]

  assistance steamboat was the name of the [TS]

  big buffet [TS]

  yes steamboat you know what I mean the [TS]

  steamboat springs know the big big God [TS]

  that when jammer at the Windjammer the [TS]

  Windjammer you go in there and you get [TS]

  you get all get everything i'm gonna put [TS]

  gravy over the top [TS]

  oh god the gravy John i miss the great i [TS]

  don't know why they want to fight me [TS]

  back but i would i would go just for the [TS]

  gravy other thing is i go for the gravy [TS]

  right it'll be greatly if you go for a [TS]

  thing in there 17 kinds of meat and then [TS]

  a barrel of gravy [TS]

  ah shit dog committed any in any case I [TS]

  said can I get more than I was like em [TS]

  to me can I do together i get another [TS]

  order of these sliders and she was like [TS]

  you're out you're out Delta is out of [TS]

  sliders out what is this out i got [TS]

  upgraded to first class [TS]

  where's Mike where's my second order and [TS]

  sliders so then I about 20 minutes goes [TS]

  by and then an attendant walks past [TS]

  leans over the guy next to me and drops [TS]

  a box of carrots and celery and some [TS]

  pesto Hamas ok [TS]

  and I was like did k crudité well that [TS]

  was thoughtful over [TS]

  yeah but then when I flew back on delta [TS]

  i didn't get upgraded to first class and [TS]

  I realized they were given that credit [TS]

  everybody so she's so one of them was [TS]

  like all he wants more sliders and [TS]

  another one was like I got an extra box [TS]

  of this coach food and plopped it on my [TS]

  poptart my table clown and then they [TS]

  spilled an infinitesimally amount of [TS]

  ginger ale on the on the on the elbow of [TS]

  the guy sitting next to me as they were [TS]

  walking by and this self same flight [TS]

  attendant comes by and says I'm so sorry [TS]

  sir i'm going to give you 5000 bonus [TS]

  miles [TS]

  whoa for the two dots of ginger ale and [TS]

  you're like what am i a box a crudite [TS]

  over here [TS]

  yeah and he leans over to me and he's [TS]

  like a pretty good deal right [TS]

  and so I go excuse me i was actually [TS]

  also traumatized by that could trigger [TS]

  for you now because it was let me let me [TS]

  let me just [TS]

  I'm gonna go to talk real slow that was [TS]

  my ginger ale that spilled on his help [TS]

  you should get you should get 10,000 [TS]

  miles see but they just went back into [TS]

  the Galleon came out with a new ginger [TS]

  ale for me and clapping Derek's to my [TS]

  cruelty as though it were no thing and [TS]

  then they give him five thousand bonus [TS]

  miles because they got a drop of it on [TS]

  his elbow padding an injury to insult to [TS]

  injury that and he's just sitting next [TS]

  to me just gloating just basketball [TS]

  5,000 miles that's like killers [TS]

  rub-a-dub-dub it's just like I flew to [TS]

  Europe [TS]

  oh my fucking god 5,000 bonus miles but [TS]

  that would put me and put me a lot [TS]

  closer my silver medallions down mmhmm [TS]

  yeah alright thanks for your offer but [TS]

  our burger bar [TS]

  this is what podcasts are really for hmm [TS]

  you know doing it's a burgeoning new [TS]

  medium a lot of people are doing podcast [TS]

  now i think it's i think it's really [TS]

  gonna catch on i learned to I learned [TS]

  yesterday that the McElroy brothers have [TS]

  between them something like 64 podcast [TS]

  I've never heard any of their shows [TS]

  really I should go but people love them [TS]

  and people who like things i do like [TS]

  them which is a good indicator that i [TS]

  would like them i read about them and [TS]

  I've heard they're very funny and very [TS]

  nice but I've never heard any of their [TS]

  shows [TS]

  I don't feel any particular way about [TS]

  that and [TS]

  it's saying that is a brag I'm not [TS]

  saying that to be mean i'm just stating [TS]

  a fact in the world same problem people [TS]

  have with our show I think I don't even [TS]

  know where to begin [TS]

  yeah they got the brother show they've [TS]

  got the the dungeons and dragons show [TS]

  you have to get them the Medicine Show [TS]

  so at the Old Crow Medicine old crow [TS]

  medicine show you got that cindy [TS]

  cashdollar you got you got the rustling [TS]

  rustling sack [TS]

  yeah i got around about the frisbees and [TS]

  the hacky sack that's right you get this [TS]

  guy over here we got no suit huh did you [TS]

  overhear not me not me [TS]

  what uh what was wearing sack what a [TS]

  great name [TS]

  what God Hogmanay said over the weekend [TS]

  was his his experience of the the [TS]

  McElroy brothers is that people like [TS]

  them as particle part of their success [TS]

  is that nice they're nice on their [TS]

  programs well that's nice to hear that's [TS]

  nice TLC I think my problem is that by [TS]

  the time you get into something that's [TS]

  popular enough to have different shows [TS]

  and these medical McIlroy are on [TS]

  different programs like now I really [TS]

  feel screwed i really don't know where [TS]

  to start [TS]

  well and this but but what the what the [TS]

  what the mind Jack was with the thought [TS]

  technology was is this whole concept of [TS]

  being nice as a way of attracting fans [TS]

  oh that's the thing a person could do [TS]

  well that's the thing I've never [TS]

  employed [TS]

  yeah and neither has gone Hardman and [TS]

  and and so we're both like a nice nice [TS]

  as a way of attracting it works the fact [TS]

  that it works for somebody does not make [TS]

  it a bad thing but it also doesn't mean [TS]

  that it's right for everyone [TS]

  nothing is worse than someone pretending [TS]

  to be nice oh you're absolutely that's [TS]

  the worst it doesn't the thing is I [TS]

  don't care whether you're nice or not [TS]

  but don't pretend to be nice [TS]

  fuck you i really i really despise [TS]

  people it's incredibly [TS]

  passive-aggressive nothing about that [TS]

  i'm saying about this is a good kind of [TS]

  nickels whoo-hoo email us to be on the [TS]

  show [TS]

  it's like I really am called by how [TS]

  disingenuous these people are to act [TS]

  like we're friends and now I'm the dick [TS]

  to go now here I am in full on holden [TS]

  caulfield mode but like god damn it but [TS]

  don't do that don't pretend like an [TS]

  intimacy that is not there and then I'm [TS]

  the dick to call you on it [TS]

  yes the worst those are garbage people [TS]

  yeah don't send me an email [TS]

  everybody listen especially if you're my [TS]

  friend anyway [TS]

  no the bunch of goofy-looking supporting [TS]

  your movie called you the movie what [TS]

  about John the movie [TS]

  what do you want where's my tea for sure [TS]

  sure movie you could see that you're [TS]

  already doing this John the thing is the [TS]

  only thing the only intermission right [TS]

  now it's just people are filming it [TS]

  you're already largely fictional but not [TS]

  really is a child or is it not John we [TS]

  don't know adam / erica was making a [TS]

  movie about the long winter yes and he [TS]

  made it for a long time and then at a [TS]

  certain point he stopped making it [TS]

  because it was like there's just no [TS]

  plotting to you or the long wish and she [TS]

  wasn't there for the record before that [TS]

  yeah that would've been fun that would [TS]

  have been that would have been good but [TS]

  now i still enjoy what he's done I think [TS]

  you did a nice job with what he had [TS]

  well he did a nice trailer challenge [TS]

  great if you can make a good trailer [TS]

  it's just it's just scaling up this [TS]

  video for video footage video pretty [TS]

  well there's a digital footage of me [TS]

  hanging out with your band shooting guns [TS]

  that's right shouldn't big increasingly [TS]

  a bigger and bigger guns until we [TS]

  arrived at the the gun that where people [TS]

  started to drop out [TS]

  oh I was never got near that buy-in [TS]

  probably Jonathan Jonathan Rothman right [TS]

  yep that's right he turned out to be [TS]

  like he never picked up a gun in his [TS]

  life and he's a great shot [TS]

  sorry just--all Jonathan Jonathan [TS]

  Rothman was is is another one of these [TS]

  guys that I've met several of them in my [TS]

  life is like kris kristofferson song you [TS]

  can't figure that guy out right where [TS]

  you just were like hey what uh [TS]

  somebody's to climb this tree and he's [TS]

  like cool I'll try cool cool cool man is [TS]

  at the top of the tree and you're like [TS]

  how did you do that and then it's like [TS]

  God how we need somebody to do these [TS]

  these trigonometry calculation seems [TS]

  like Markie bit of trial and then he [TS]

  does them cool and then uh and then [TS]

  you're like oh let's go shoot these guns [TS]

  and he's like never shot a gun before [TS]

  boom and it's just like okay you're [TS]

  really good at that too like how do you [TS]

  do it [TS]

  watching him perform your shows is [TS]

  always so crazy I mean you get used to [TS]

  it but it almost seemed like a stunt [TS]

  like you could make a stunt act out of [TS]

  Jonathan because he's like somebody on [TS]

  the street like playing the symbols with [TS]

  his knees while he's building a [TS]

  birdhouse over here and yeah that's that [TS]

  he would do with having a guitar and the [TS]

  keyboard and I think some pedals but he [TS]

  would he would play like two or three [TS]

  different instruments within the same [TS]

  song yeah he was he was invaluable in [TS]

  that case the yeah the only the on the [TS]

  only disadvantage was that a it's to be [TS]

  able to sing is not i have increasingly [TS]

  inclined to feel not a thing that you [TS]

  can learn past a certain point right you [TS]

  can learn it up to a point but not [TS]

  beyond that point and what I what I [TS]

  never should have done was put a [TS]

  microphone in front of him and that's [TS]

  what I mean that with all the love in [TS]

  the world [TS]

  oh you mean like a like a panther Mike [TS]

  we're not know no the band Mikey never [TS]

  went close to but like that like harmony [TS]

  vocals are hard thing to do let's just [TS]

  let's just say that harmony vocals are [TS]

  hard thing to do but once you give [TS]

  somebody a mic it's very hard to take [TS]

  Michael well I see your point [TS]

  you know what I mean like you can get [TS]

  you can give a man a fish and then you [TS]

  eat for a day I was sure 11 fish today [TS]

  yeah you can eat it you can give a man a [TS]

  microphone and then the rest of the time [TS]

  that you're on tour [TS]

  really there's microphones for the rest [TS]

  of his life there's always going to be [TS]

  one harmony that's like oops [TS]

  yepppp did he tell you about his cables [TS]

  the other direction i actually went and [TS]

  stayed at his house in hotlanta one time [TS]

  it was a very nice house nice mom could [TS]

  step dad component stepdad components [TS]

  and now he's teaching math in Brooklyn [TS]

  to genuinely seeking the maths is [TS]

  teaching maths wow I like I like that [TS]

  guy I think he was he was using is a man [TS]

  of his time and every single member of [TS]

  the long winters that quit or was fired [TS]

  or quit fired [TS]

  yes Rachel it required ragequit there [TS]

  were a lot of rage quits they all there [TS]

  were a lot of force quits [TS]

  haha they all landed on their feet [TS]

  you know what I mean like not sure I [TS]

  like to feel like the long winters was a [TS]

  stepping stone for a lot of people to [TS]

  end up doing what they really wanted to [TS]

  get to reclaim their commitment which is [TS]

  something else I wanted to do another [TS]

  there [TS]

  uh-huh and the long winters were the [TS]

  were the jumping-off point for them [TS]

  Hakuna Matata yeah that's right namaste [TS]

  mhm [TS]

  I was just uh I'm sitting here watching [TS]

  my slideshow yeah [TS]

  because my computer flips over to slide [TS]

  show her I'm sure I don't touch it for a [TS]

  while huh [TS]

  that is why you get away is this is [TS]

  circular moment where you're like oh [TS]

  that uses too much bandwidth or [TS]

  something right [TS]

  guys guys guys it's fine no no tell me [TS]

  that you don't care is that no I do care [TS]

  if you ever decide that you want to [TS]

  really like do this show for a while [TS]

  like all the time we should have the [TS]

  talk [TS]

  ok we should have the talk about the [TS]

  things that you can do you know to you [TS]

  know improve things when your computer [TS]

  goes to sleep you don't want your [TS]

  computer to go to sleep by your [TS]

  corporate I guess is that going to sleep [TS]

  it's like you discovering you put on [TS]

  your jammies while you're recording the [TS]

  show [TS]

  hmm but how does it affect the show [TS]

  well and it may not at all but for one [TS]

  thing I mean you know your it could [TS]

  start doing some background things [TS]

  because it says I don't really need to [TS]

  be doing much right now but I don't know [TS]

  mostly I'm just not my I'm happy you get [TS]

  a slideshow well I mean a look for the [TS]

  last several years i have often SAT here [TS]

  talking to you watching a slideshow haha [TS]

  titanium and my favorite things on the [TS]

  appletv I'll just sit and watch the [TS]

  watch the screen saver [TS]

  yeah gorgeous just gorgeous screensavers [TS]

  but as we were talking there were a [TS]

  series of photographs that all and and [TS]

  you know sometimes the screensaver will [TS]

  will go into a weird loop [TS]

  huh oh yeah and you're like oh yeah okay [TS]

  like we're here like no way was that [TS]

  random yeah I get that and it drives me [TS]

  fucking bananas [TS]

  yeah I couldn't be written obviously [TS]

  somebody fucking with me and trying to [TS]

  send me a message i have 10,000 [TS]

  photographs in there there's no way that [TS]

  that you would just show me three that [TS]

  were all taken within a week of each [TS]

  other [TS]

  hmm but so a couple of screens went by [TS]

  where that was looking at signs that [TS]

  said breast feeding station nice and [TS]

  it's because you know at the time that [TS]

  breastfeeding was a major component of [TS]

  my life I was always looking for breast [TS]

  feeding stations not for myself [TS]

  no but you know it's like you'll find a [TS]

  breast feeding stations opposite seen em [TS]

  sometimes a great Harper Lee novel [TS]

  but down good metana whatever that is [TS]

  that's limitada what is a good metonymy [TS]

  cool say that all the time [TS]

  hakuna matata hakuna matata hakuna [TS]

  matata hakuna matata hakuna matata haku [TS]

  mama tata you say tomato i say tomato [TS]

  what is not my pop you know what I'm not [TS]

  gonna tell you I think it's more fun for [TS]

  you to not no more fun to not know and [TS]

  more fun to just trying to figure out a [TS]

  way to spell it so i can do it dare ask [TS]

  you this thing that I stopped asking you [TS]

  for years ago do you plug your ethernet [TS]

  cable in are you doing this over Wi-Fi [TS]

  I don't know if you know what I don't [TS]

  want to know I don't know I don't wanna [TS]

  kno know what I don't want to know [TS]

  oh khuda matata hakuna matada oh it's [TS]

  something from the lion king haha oh oh [TS]

  oh way oh way we move it is it if so it [TS]

  is a SWAT Swahili phase it's a phrase [TS]

  yes not a Swahili Faison going to talk [TS]

  to ya [TS]

  it roughly means no worries yeah finally [TS]

  I get no that's what it means i also use [TS]

  it to be synonymous with circle of life [TS]

  huh [TS]

  so this is what you know those yet the [TS]

  the Arab say sháá mmm [TS]

  after every time somebody says something [TS]

  that that a prognostic 80 out of your [TS]

  mouth to God's ear [TS]

  no it's a God willing oh yes the [TS]

  accident will [TS]

  yeah I read that text you and I wasn't [TS]

  sure if you knew what it meant and [TS]

  thought that I was spoofing or something [TS]

  i said i hope i want to see you [TS]

  importantly maybe we can be nice to have [TS]

  dinner at the accident will [TS]

  oh that just seems like Merlin Manny's [TS]

  let's say I'm like many of my lines it [TS]

  is the lifted from a curve on a novel [TS]

  well played if the accident will if the [TS]

  accident will hakuna matada little did [TS]

  they know they were making champagne [TS]

  mm nevermind that's a kurt vonnegut oh [TS]

  so close so close [TS]

  uh so uh yeah and cha-cha-cha know about [TS]

  the computer [TS]

  yeah i'll talk to you tomorrow yeah o [TS]

  shah-i if God wills no yes [TS]

  don't get in the way of God with your [TS]

  whole idea about what the future is [TS]

  going to be always good to just it's a [TS]

  reminder it's like the gay one is right [TS]

  next to the king saying you're mortal or [TS]

  immortal [TS]

  yeah yeah we said I'll be great at that [TS]

  job you're immortal your morning your [TS]

  you are mortal [TS]

  oh you are the King might miss here [TS]

  especially this little bit older [TS]

  anything might be a very confusing thing [TS]

  to tell him they say [TS]

  do [TS]

  [Music] [TS]